#I reblog my own posts the most but guess what? I’m fine with that

[ambrosiagoldfish]

i’m going a teensy bit feral reading your adam x third spouse story so i guess im just asking for part five and for it to hopefully have focus on dad beat dad and how lucifer would react to seeing the reader again after so long and like what would happen n stuff 🤭🤭 ofc if this is dumb ignore it i like what you’re doing with the story already !! the part im most excited for is the finale tbh but there’s a lot of time in between what you have rn and then so i’m just yapping abt stuff that could be cool in between. thsi is so jumbled omg sorry i just wanna see more of your writing it’s so good

idk how to end this uhh i love you bye 🫡

Benefit of the doubt PT.5

Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader

Warnings: GN! Reader, confronting the past, next to no Adam (I know, sad, but it’s for the plot), Reader focused chapter, this is set during ‘Dad Beat Dad’, swearing, the next 2 chapters will have a LOT more Adam DW ❤️❤️

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Request Box: OPEN

Word count: 4322

A/n: Hey everyone! Thank you so much for the support on all the other chapters. It’s been 8-ish months since the last update and for that I want to apologize. I’ll save it for its own dedicated post to not full int his page too much. But if you’ve saw one of my post from the other day, I have posted this on A03 and I’m giving myself 8 total parts. 7 will be the finale and 8 will be an epilogue styled thing (not even sure if I’m wanting to do it so when we get there, you guys can tell me if you want it!! ) so yeah, enough rambling, you’ve all been waiting so long for the next part so here you go!! <3

Reblogs are VERY appreciated!

(My posts have been flopping so much, I would love you forever if you did 😭)

Old memories have a habit of slithering their way back into a person's mind, and even sometimes, people

The first few months at fhe hotel were a lot more enjoyable than you originally expected. Most days went relatively the same, Charlie would choose an activity to do and you would observe the progress they made.

At first, progress hadn't shown much promise but as everyone grew closer, things began to look up. Angel had gone clean with his drug abuse and was distancing himself from his line of work. Sir Pentious started to actually trust the people around him and has done no major constructional damage to any buildings as of late.

Everything was going so smoothly that, when you had woken up one morning to the sounds of screaming, running, and just general chaos. You thought everything was finaly going into the ground.

You quickly run down to the lobby, thoughts of what could be happening run through you. Did one of Pentious experiments fail and explode? Were we being attacked by one of the many gangs in town? Did Alastor decide the hotel was actually boring and started destroying it, starting with the occupants? Whatever it was, you hurry faster to the lobby.

But what was meeting you there was… unexpected to say the least. Party streamers, banners, cookies. It looked like some kind of welcome party heaven would do, albeit with less flare and taste in decor. A banner that read ‘Wellcum Daddy’ was being hung up by Razzle and Dazzle, everyone was either cleaning or baking something, and Vaggie seemed to be ordering them around.

You look at the clock, huh, it’s way too early for any kind of Charlie’s trust exercises. Not to mention, she would have told you about the curriculum and there was absolutely not a 10 AM home-EC class listed on your schedule.

You quickly run up to Charlie who seemed to be preoccupied with helping Vaggie put something up “Charlie, what’s going on?” You tap on her shoulder, She jumps a bit before just realizing it’s you,

”Oh- Y/N, I’m so sorry, I completely forgot to get you!” She apologizes when Vaggie pops in,

“Don’t be, I told Nifty to go wake you up, but looks like she had better things to do” she points over at Niffty swifty stabbing bugs and removing cobwebs out of habit

“It’s fine, just… what’s everyone doing, what’s with all the party supplies and sweets?” You say, arms to the festive lobby around you.

“Oh well…” she took a deep breath “you know that The deadline is fast approaching and while we’ve made progress it’s not much” she paused, trying to even brace herself for what’s coming out of her mouth, “I have asked… my dad to come over and hopefully get us a meeting with heaven” she stops, completely caved in on herself.

“Wait, so… your dad is coming here?” you thought about the times she had asked you to get them a meeting with heaven but you had already explained to her that it would be next to impossible for someone like you. You had to practically beg just to monitor the hotel

Charlie Picked herself back up and looked at you with a shakey demeanor, “Yeah In about… 55 minutes”

You blink a few times before giving a small chuckle “Well, would you look at the date! I think it’s time I used my 1-per-month trip back home! If you’ll excuse me-“

“Wait! No-“ she trips over herself “We need you here, if dad can see, not only the progress we’ve made, but also that we already have an angel supporter, there’s no way he could say no!”

“Charlie, I don’t think it’s a good idea-”

“PleasePleasePlease! I will pay you back, promise! But I- we could really use you there!” Her eyes looked at you, similar to a puppy. She hands clasped together In plea.

You looked away in thought. Seeing him again was the last thing you wanted to do at this moment, any moment for that matter. The last time…well to be honest, the whole exchange hadn’t meant anything to you in quite a while. He could say whatever he wanted about you… it was the words he had to say about Adam that kept your heart ablaze in anger at the Morningstar.

Trash? He should really look in the mirror before saying that about your Adam. But… this could be a good opportunity for the hotel -as much as it pained you to admit- You can only sigh, “fine.. for the hotel…” You let out a small chuckle raising your arm in defeat.

Charlie jumped up and down with glee, repeating a matra of ‘Thank You’s’ before continuing “I get it might be difficult since you’re an Angel.” She tries to give some comfort. But that caught your attention.

“Because I’m an Angel?” You honestly didn’t mean to say it out loud but it came out as a question.

She looks at you confused “yeah, you know, considering I don’t think angels have too kind of thoughts to my dad for being… the devil” she laughs nervously

Oh. Oh. So that’s what she means. So she doesn’t know about your past with him? Not too much a surprise, I doubt Lucifer would bring up any of his failures. But that also made you realize one other thing. Charlie doesn’t know about your marriage with Adam.

Look, you didn’t mean to keep it a secret. In fact you had already assumed they knew. I mean you were sitting literally right next to him and Vaggie already knew who you were. You just thought she would have told Charlie, but knowing this now… it may be best to keep it a secret.

You let out a quick “I understand.” and with that, you all went your separate ways, you did contribute to the decor the best you could, as well as helping Sir Pentious and Nifty with the baking until finally, it was time for Charlie’s dad to arrive.

You walked over to a more remote place in the hotel lobby, look… you may have to interact with him today but you will not be doing it that soon. Instead, you decided your best choice of action was to sit and watch quietly until Charlie decided it was time for you two to meet. And in the meantime, you can mentally brace yourself.

Charlie sighs deeply “Okay everybody, it’s showtime!”

With that she swings the door open revealing the one, the only (thank Father) king of hell himself, Lucifer. Immediately Lucifer pulls his, obviously nervous daughter into his arms. He greets her with excitement before moving on to Keekee, and eventually Razzle and Dazzle.

He eyes the room, clearly covering up any distain for the hotels “character” to protect Charlie’s feelings. At least until he got to the bar which even he couldn’t lie his way through.

Even from the distant view you were from, you could see Alastor and Lucifer weren't going to be the best of buds anytime soon. As soon as they were introduced to one another they immediately got into it. Huh, at least now you have something in common with Alastor at least! If that’s even a good thing.

Their quarrel lasted a few minutes, everyone either waiting for it to be over, completely ignoring it, or enjoying it as entertainment. It lasted what felt like an eternity and was only interrupted when a short and plump woman by the name of ‘Mimzy’ came into the scene.

The old time-y dressed woman was one of Alastor’s friends, you honestly didn’t think he had those but you digress. Eventually once the commotion dies down, you see Charlie give you a nervous smile and wave for you, ‘that’s my cue’ you thought. Anxiety still felt taught in your heart but still you pushed through.

You walk out of your hiding spot, walking up to be next to Charlie. Still trying to keep your presence hidden for as long as you could, savoring those last few moments of peace before a wave of interactions.

Charlie clears her throat and puts on a more professional demeanor despite her nervousness, getting the attention from her dad, “And last but certainly not least, i’d like you to meet our Angelic sponsor-“

“Y/N!?-“ the fallen Angel suddenly started coughing, clearly having choked on his own words. He clears his throat “Sorry! I just wasn’t expecting… you to be here” he lets out a chuckle.

“You guys know each other!?” Charlie looked shocked, her voice pitching up in bewilderment.

“We’ve… met before,.” Your voice was low, But still you pushed through “Though, it’s hardly relevant to anything of importance now. Isn’t that right, Morningstar?”

Lucifer's face contorted into an uncomfortable shaky smile, fingertips digging into his Apple-shaped cane. Perhaps he felt some type of remorse for the way things happened back all those years ago, but even if that’s true, you had no plans to forgive him.

He clears his throat “Yes it’s- unimportant Sweetie.. “

You 3 stand in awkward silence for a moment, all you can do is glare daggers at the short ex-Angel in front of you. Eventually though, you couldn’t stand the scilence any longer, “Well Charlie, I have to get something done in my room and I’ll be back to help with the tour in a few minutes, if that’s ok?”

Charlie looked like she wanted to protest, for you to stay with her through the tour, but she knew you wouldn’t just leave and not come back. “Um, yeah that’s fine! Me and Alastor can get the tour started and you can meet us around the 4th floor?”

You gave a quick nod as agreement and make your way to your room. Sighing, you flop down on your bed, feeling the soft warmth as you sink into comfort. Pulling out your phone, you quickly typing a text to Adam but your thumb simply hovered over the send button, anxiety washing over you. Your message was simple,

‘I promise that everything’s ok, but he’s here’’

You were hesitating, should you even tell him that he's here? You didn’t want to worry him over something so insignificant. He has a show tonight, he wouldn’t be at his best if he was constantly thinking you would be in the same room as the devil.

Or even worse, he could just cancel the show completely and march down here and a cause a ruckus which at best would completely destroy the Hotel’s plans and at worse… No, you can’t think of that.

You look at the message again before just setting your phone on your nightstand. 10 minutes… that’s all you need before you go back out there…

…Lucifer was having… let’s just say a tinsy bit of a bad day. Not only has he been forced to interact with that insufferable yellow-toothed sinner but also, he has been reunited with someone he hadn’t seen in a millenia, you.

The anxiety of the day was only topped off with the added stress of being with his daughter. Don’t get him wrong, he LOVES his daughter and is always happy to see her, but the way she talks and acts with these sinners… Ugh, it reminds him too much of himself back in the day.

Her hotel too… He may have given her the place but he never gave it much thought beyond it being a pipe dream for her. He was just trying to do something for his daughter, especially with… Lilith being out of the picture. He just wanted to cheer her up, and unfortunately it seems ‘grandiose plans’ run in the family.

Even now as Charlie and that Red haired Buck show him around, Charlie explains excitedly about different things they have at the hotel. It reminds Lucifer about how she was when she was little, that glow of joy never seemed to fade away from her despite the conditions she lives in.

But even still, as much as he’s trying not to zone out and actually listen to his daughters rambles, his mind keeps trailing back to one, singular thought. You.

What were you doing here? He knows you were there to ‘support the hotel’ as Charlie puts it. But this is the absolute first he’s hearing about it. Why wouldn’t heaven tell him that another Angel was down here, let alone, you most of all. The last time he saw you was… not the best first meeting

Were you here in secret? You clearly weren't fallen, considering you still had your halo and you didn’t look like you’ve been damaged anywhere close to what you’d be if you had fallen. Not to mention… Adam, the exterminations were his idea so why would you even consider an alternative when you are his-

“Uh, Dad?” Charlie interrupted Lucifer’s thoughts, a look of worry on her face. ”You’ve got a little bit of… horn? Sticking out”

Lucifer looks up and sees that he’s subconsciously beginning to phase into his full demon form. He quickly takes his hand and pats the horns as if he was just dusting off his coat, causing the horns to seem to fade away like dust. Wow, today really seems to be getting to him.

“Ah sorry Sweetie, it’s nothing just… uh..” He thinks for a moment, he has to talk to you alone, just for a second. “*Ahem* I was just realizing I had to… use the bathroom, I seem to have had one too many drinks on the way here. Can you tell me where the… bathroom is?” He lets out a chuckle to hopefully cover his lie.

“Oh, it’s just down the hall and to the right, I can take you there-“

Lucifer quickly lets out a loud ”No!“ Before clearing his through again “I can get there on my own, just wait here and I’ll be back!”

Before Charlie can even answer, Lucifer rushes through the halls of the hotel, yelling a ‘I’ll be back soon’ to his Daughter before turning the corner. He lets out a deep breath as he lays out the plan in his head. Figure out why you’re here, and get back to Charlie as fast as inhumanly possible.

Picking his feet up again, he makes his way to the lobby of the hotel, he looks around for a moment before spotting the check in desk. ‘They usually keep visitor information there, right?’

He quickly scours the desk, looking for any forms or documents that have your room number, before finally setting his eyes on your room number. It didn’t take long to find you seeing as there were such few occupants in the hotel.

He memorized your room and repeated it to himself while walking to your door. Past the first, 2nd, then finally, halfway through the hallway on the 3rd floor he finds it. Before he can knock, a sudden wave of worry floods his senses. Seriously, Why would he hesitate now?!

He shuffled around nervously, starting to doubt this little mission of his. Should he really be doing this? Is he really worried about you being here or is the real reason he came here because he wanted to… apologize to you? It’s true that the guilt of what happened all those years ago was still there. But… Digging up old memories just because he’s selfish and wants to apologize to you? He takes a deep breath.

He had to make things better or… at least get some things off his chest. So, with a heavy fist and an even heavier heart, he gently knocks on the hard wooden door…

This had been the longest 10 minutes of your life, trying to decide wether to send Adam the message, or to even return to tour with Charlie at all. As much as it pains you to say, you still become anxiety ridden when he’s in the room or even the mere mention of him. That spark of defiance you had in the lobby earlier being nothing but a small bit of courage. But you remembered that you had promised Charlie you’d be there for her, and you certainly weren’t one to take back a promise.

Before you could decide what to do, you hear an ever so faint knock on your door. Curiosity peaked, You thought Charlie was supposed to be waiting for you on the 4th floor? Had you taken too long and the tour went south? You quickly made your way to the door and hoped you wouldn’t see a very angry Charlie on the other side.

As the wooden-door creaked open, your face slowly turned bitter at The short, impish man who stood on the other side. Lucifer Morningstar. To be honest, you much would have preferred the angry Charlie, TWO very angry Charlies over this.

The man shuffled awkwardly in place, gripping his cane. Neither of you could break the silence . He avoided any eye-contact with you and even you couldn’t hide The disgusted expression on your face when looking at him. Finally after what feels like 3x the eternity you’ve lived thus far, you spoke In shaky words, ”What do you want?”

Lucifer pushed out his words as well as he could, meek they were, but you understood what he said “Can we please…talk?”

Your fingers gripped at the door, nails embedding into the wood, leaving scratches. It took all you had not to slam the door right in his face, but even if you had, it wouldn’t have solved any pressing issues. If anything, it might make him against Charlie’s idea with the hotel, which you couldn’t afford. You take a deep breath before letting out a quick but unsavory,

“5 minutes”

The short demon shuffles his way into the room as you follow in behind him, locking the door to prevent someone like Nifty or Charlie from walking in. Lucifer stands timidly by your nightstand as you stand on the complete opposite side of the room, facing him. Lucifer runs his neck as he lets out a shaky sigh “I just want to know what you’re doing here…” he pauses, he looks like he has more to say but decided not to.

You can only laugh to yourself “I’m here because I believe I think Charlie’s idea has potential to be great. The exterminations, they have to end… that’s why I’m here”

Lucifer seem a bit… surprised? Surprised with your stance on the exterminations. you figured he needed more than that so you continue “I… I’ve never been one for the exterminations. I've been against them from the start. I just didn't know what else to do. Nothing else seemed…right.“

He stayed silent, processing what you told him. He really didn’t understand you, he had a completely warped view of you. “If that’s all you wanted to know I’d rather you take your leave-“

“No!” You step back at the sudden raise in voice but he quickly clears his throat “No, there’s another thing. I would… I’d like to apologize to you about how things went… when we first met.”

You stared at him, the silence once again feeling the air. You didn’t dare break it, you watched as the impish man looked around with anxiety, trying to find the right words. “It’s always been there, in the back of my mind. How we- I, treated you. It was unacceptable… Lilith kept telling me to let it go, that she was done thinking about it, but I just couldn’t.” He takes a deep breath “so, I’m so sorry for hurting you, Y/n…”

Lucifer Morningstar. The man in front of you looked more akin to a puddle than a person at this point. Sweat dripped from his face, a scrunched mouth filled with a sour taste. He wasn’t looking at you, focusing his attention to the ground. Finally, after many long seconds later. You step forward, grabbing his attention.

“As much as I appreciate the apology, I don’t forgive you.” Lucifer began to speak or at least say he understood but no matter what his reaction was going to be, you interrupted him ‘“-I don’t forgive you, because I’m not the one who deserves it”

To that, Lucifer's head was struck with confusion, “what do you mean?” He tried to make sense of your words, shifting eyes looking around in unease before landing on a framed photo of a candlelit man, an old and forgotten, yet familiar smile on his face… ”You mean… Adam?” Despite his best efforts around you, saying the first man’s name still dripped his words with venom. That same sour taste filling his mouth at the mere mention of him. ”What does-” he stops himself, he knows why.

You breathe in slowly, “What you said to me, all of those years ago, hasn’t meant anything to me in a long time. I’ve gotten through it 10x over and finally understand that I am more than those words” you take another step towards him, closing the gap, “so… there's no use for your apology to me. But Adam… you’ve hurt him more than you couldn’t possibly imagine“

The room was filled with dense air, like any sudden move could kill the king of hell or even you at any second but still you continue. “Adam deserved so much better than what he was forced to have from you, so if anyone deserves your apology, it’s him.” He goes to speak but you shut him down again “but we all know that you are too prideful to do so, and Adam… he’s too stubborn to hear it”

You don’t yell, scream, all of your words coming soft from your lips “So… what you’re going to do, if you truly mean what you say. You will go back to your daughter, forget this conversation ever happened, then you can march back to your big castle with your Loving wife, and leave us be, for the rest of eternity.”

With that, you step away from him, words that have been bubbling inside you for centuries finally having been let out. It felt like several hundred pounds had been lifted off of you. You begin to walk to the door to let him out, wanting the conversation to be over, When you hear him speak a faint ”Ex-Wife actually”

You pause, your teeth already biting your tongue. Honestly, if you really thought about it, it was poetic. The Angel who ruined two marriages, leaving Adam nothing but a broken heart and baggage, ended up with a failed marriage himself.

But even still, you still felt a slight pain of pity for him. Through clenched teeth you let out ”I'm… sorry to hear that. It must be hard.”

This kind of thing, no matter the person, is always tough. You knew the aftermath of it through Adam, even now he struggles with so many issues from it. In that regard, you felt pity for the ruler of hell, but the rest of you felt… glad? Glad that he finally understands just a thorn of the pain he inflicted on Adam.

“The 5 minutes are up so… go now… please.” Your voice shakes near the end, your will power for everything you’ve done starting to break. Lucifer looked equally as defeated, you could tell he wanted to say more but he just nodded his head before walking out the door. slowly, silently, you close the door back before sliding down it as your legs give out.

You wanted to cry, scream, do anything but sit there, but you couldn’t. Your voice hurts from talking, your feet hurt from standing, everything just… hurts.

DING DING DING

A luminous yellow light follows the sound, you lifted your head and saw your phone on your nightstand. Adam… You used all of your strength to make it to your bed, practically having to crawl to avoid any more tiredness in your aching body. You finally land on the soft mattress to pick up your phone, seeing the plethora of messages from Adam.

DIXKMASTER69

Yo Bitch, everything good??

You’ve been typing for like 10 minutes

Answer me

Hellllloooooo??????

Oh, that’s why he was texting. You had completely forgotten your half written message you were debating on sending earlier. You start to delete it and rewrite it when suddenly,

INCOMING CALL FROM DIXKMASTER69

You sigh at the screen, your phone vibration sends chills through your aching arms, it acts as a lifeline for you not to fall asleep on the soft plush beneath you. You press the answer button.

‘Fuck Babe, finally! Are you ok?!” Adam’s voice sounded angry but you know he was just worried “you’ve been texting for like 15 minutes”

“Yeah, don’t worry Adam, I... must have fallen asleep while trying to message you”

“It’s 12 in the afternoon, you dont normally fall asleep in the middle of the day” Adam questions, his voice having obvious worry for you.

“Today’s just been very tiring. But I promise I’m fine, it’s just happened a lot today.” You hated lying to him, your other half, but you know this is something that he shouldn’t have to worry about.

You hear him groan, “how many times do I have to fuckin’ tell you not to overwork yourself for those sinners”

“I know, I’m sorry” you pause “I… I have to go now but I promise I’ll call you later, yeah?“

He was quiet on the other side before he lets out “Yeah, just don’t overdo yourself ok?” His voice was soft, no hint of sarcasm or anger, just him.

You let out a small breathy laugh “I promise. Have fun at your show tonight. Talk to you later, love you.”

“Love you too”

CLICK

You sigh to yourself, you still have the tour to do. It’s fine, everything is fine.

Tomorrow will be a better day. it has to be.

-

TAGLIST: @tired-of-life-86 @nervoussystemss @qopia @lovelyemily @hcneyiced @v3r41ynn

@ghostdoodlen @nxptvne-13 @ximenavc-che

@edgyfluff @ericityyy @diffidentphantom @faimmm @slasher-whore69 @1-randomized @ozzersauce @fanlovedlt @alientee @pandaquick @white-00-7 @call-me-nyx @adamstruelove @jennieyeager @sillyycatt @solatiium @my-name-is-heartache @parisiterileymoon @titan-senpai @lovely-night-owl-86 @innergardentoadpony @animefan106sposts @starlightstarbrightmyfirststar @lovkayy @ilikedrinkingsoda @barrythestrawberry041 @deadpoolssweetchimi @asegirllovesreadingporn @ripashy @deleted-1-800 @sirenetheblogger @ur1nonlygabi @aweleyirene @n0tmentallystable

(I really hope I didn’t forget anyone if I did, just asked to be added in the comments!!)

Shoutout to these specific asked as well, love you all <3

[derangedangel]

Killer Duo - Isaac Lahey

Summary: Lydia’s throwing a Halloween party and your costume coordinates with Isaac’s

Isaac Lahey x Reader

Word Count: 1,591

Author’s Note: Apparently this was in my drafts in 2019 and I finished it in 2020. Why it never got posted, I’m not sure. The timing of this is funny cause I’m currently at work dressed as the character Isaac is dressed as. Anyway, reblogs and comments are appreciated. Happy Halloween!

“Lydia, I haven’t dressed up for Halloween since I was 12,” you said walking around looking at all the creepy Halloween decorations.

“And this is a costume party. You have to dress up or you can’t go,” Lydia replied walking in front of you heading straight for the costumes. 

“I have no idea what I should be. And most Halloween costumes for women are sexy now, which really means they’re short and inappropriate, and I am not doing that.”

The strawberry blonde rolled her eyes. “You haven’t even looked at any costumes yet and your already jumping to conclusions.”

“I’m just pointing out facts. Halloween used to be fun, then I grew up.”

“And now you’re at the age where you can dress up again,” Lydia smiled at you. “There’s just no candy this time.”

“So what’s the point,” you joked.

“Just come on,” Lydia said grabbing your arm pulling you towards the superhero costumes first. 

The two of you began to look through the racks of clothes. You ran a mental checklist of everything that wouldn’t work for you. 

Batgirl? No.

Iron Man? No.

Elastigirl? Hell no.

“Oh, what about Wonder Woman,” Lydia asked holding up the iconic armor for you to see. 

“Ehh,” you said fidgeting on your feet, “I don’t feel comfortable having my ass out.”

“Okay,” Lydia said sighing at how difficult you were making this. She stood next to you scanning the the other costumes in the superhero section and decided you were going to like any of them.

“What about a witch,” she asked.

“I guess I could be that,” you replied halfheartedly.

“No, I don’t want you buying something you don’t love. That’s the number one rule in fashion.”

“Lydia, why don’t you just look for your costume and I’ll find mines. I don’t want you to keep pulling outfits and I hate them all.”

Lydia turned and faced you. “Honey, I bought my costume weeks ago. No one is going to be wearing the same thing as me at my own party.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Duh, I should have known you already had your costume ready to go.”

“Yes, so this trip is all about you, my dear,” Lydia said tapping you on the nose making you smile. 

“Fine,” you replied. “Well, let’s go look at something a little more spookier then.”

_____________

“Barbie, eat your heart out.”

Lydia walked up behind you in the mirror and nodded. “You look good.”

“I look killer,” you laughed and Lydia smiled shaking her head. 

You looked at yourself in the mirror admiring your white dress, leather jacket, and combat boots. You grabbed your eyeliner pencil and added the final touch. Tiffany’s mole. 

Perfect.

As soon as you saw the Bride of Chucky costume, you knew you needed it. Lydia was just happy you didn’t go with Chucky so you didn’t mess up her bathroom adding all the wounds and fake blood on your face. 

About an hour later, the party was well under way and you already made your first rounds with Lydia. Now she off doing other hostess duties and you were people watching against the wall.

You saw Isaac across the room and smiled to yourself. You excused yourself through the crowd as you made your way across the room.

“Hey, Isaac. Nice costume,” you greeted, looking up at the tall burette in front of you. Well, he wasn’t brunette right now. He was wearing a red wig and a pair of Good Guys overalls. You snickered to yourself. Of course the guy you had a crush on would be dressed up as Chucky. He was basically the salt to your pepper.

“Thanks,” Isaac said, a grin lining his face. “And you are a... biker bride?”

You looked at Isaac confused and shocked. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“What,” Isaac smiled confused at your response. “Should I know who you are?”

“Yes,” you said laughing. You gawked at him as you held up your plastic bloody knife and pointed to your “Tiff” necklace. His eyebrow furrowed in confusion.

“I’m Tiffany...”

Isaac shook his head still lost.

“The Bride of Chucky...”

“Sorry. Still don’t know who that is.”

“Oh my God. Isaac, how are you dressed up as Chucky but don’t know who Tiffany is?”

Isaac shrugged. “Honestly, I wasn’t planning on wearing a costume, but Lydia said I had to, then showed up to Scott’s house with this.”

You shook your head, laughing to yourself. “Of course she did.”

“Am I missing something,” Isaac asked wanting in on the joke.

“Lydia knew I was dressing up as Tiffany and she made you be Chucky... we’re basically a couple’s costume.”

“We are,” Isaac asked, his eyebrow raised and smirk slowly growing on his face.

“Uhh, I- I mean sorta,” you replied fidgeting where you stood. “Especially, now when we’re standing next to each other.”

Isaac took a step closer to you. “So I guess I better keep you close then.”

You’re eyes grew big but before you could response you were interrupted. 

“There you two are,” Lydia said walking up to you and Isaac. Her blonde ponytail wig bouncing with each step she took. She definitely was the only I Dream of Jeannie here. You doubted if most of the party even knew who she was, but they all knew she looked good. “Well don’t you look cozy together.”

“Lydia,” you said a little too sweetly for anyone’s liking. “I hear we have you to thank for Isaac’s costume.”

“What,” Lydia asked like she didn’t basically have you and Isaac in a couple’s costume. “I couldn’t have him come to my Halloween party not dressed up.”

“Yeah, sure,” you scoffed crossing your arms over your chest.

“Anyway, everyone’s outside so we can take a group pic before anyone is too intoxicated to do it later.” 

“Lydia,” Stiles yelped running up. “Oh, hey guys,” he said waving to you and Isaac. You smiled and waved back before he began talking to Lydia. He was dressed up as Captain Tony Nelson, the perfect couple’s costume to Lydia’s Jeannie. “Um, so, I may or may not have gotten my Captain’s hat stuck on the roof... okay I definitely did. But it was Scott’s fault!”

“Seriously, Stiles,” Lydia fumed. “God,” she whispered under her breath shaking her head before turning to you. “Give it about ten minutes before the picture so I can get his hat down.” 

You laughed nodding your head. “Okay.”

The couple walked away, leaving you alone with Isaac. “Um, I’m going to go get something to drink. See you outside in ten?”

“Yeah,” Isaac said, giving you a slow and sexy smile. 

You turned and headed for the kitchen, letting out a long breath as you did. Isaac’s whole existence was driving you crazy. Although you did like the blue eyed boy, and you’ve been wanting something to happen for a while, he was making you incredibly nervous. You’d rather avoid him instead of potential embarrassing yourself. 

After you filled your red solo cup with the fruity punch being served, one of your classmates came up to you.

“Hey Y/N, cute costume.”

“Thanks!”

“I didn’t know you and Isaac were a thing.”

“Huh,” you asked confused.

“The couple’s costume,” they said hesitantly. “Chucky and Tiffany.”

“Ohh, duh” you said to yourself when you realized. “We’re not dating. We just happened to wear costumes that went together.”

“Oh... well, the two of you look good together,” they said shrugging then walked away.

All your friends were already outside ready to take the picture. Lydia handed her phone to the designated photographer, then went to stand next to Stiles. Scott was in the middle, with Kira next to him. Malia was next to Kira, while Stiles and Lydia were on the other side of Scott. You stood next to Malia, throwing your arm over your friend’s shoulder. Isaac stood near Stiles. 

After two pics were snapped, Lydia went to check the photos. She grabbed her phone, then looked up at the group. “Somethings not right...,” she said out loud, thinking to herself. “I know!” She grabbed Isaac by his arm and pulled him over to where you were standing. “That’s better. You’re costumes go together, so it makes sense,” she said smiling. She mumbled a quick you’re welcome to you before she handed the camera back over and went back to her place next to Stiles.

The person taking the pictures counted down “3, 2, 1,” then snapped a pic. But before you got to one, Isaac grabbed you by the waist and pulled you into him. You shrieked in response then started laughing. 

“Okay, now a funny one,” Scott yelled so everyone could hear. 

Isaac didn’t hesitate, quickly picking you up bridal style. You yelped, then immediately stuck your tongue out at him. Lydia’s phone flashed as the picture was taken, then everyone stopped doing their poses, but Isaac didn’t put you down.

You giggled before you spoke. “You can put me down now, Isaac. The picture’s over.”

“I said I should keep you close. So that’s what I’m doing,” he said smiling down at you in his arms. “And besides, if we’re next to each other people will think we’re a couple, so no guy will ask you to dance.”

You titled your head to the side, your eyes squinted slightly. “But we’re not a couple.”

“Give it a few weeks.”

Your mouth dropped in a silent gasp, slowly turning into a huge grin. You heard Kira giggling behind you and Stiles’s “yuck.”

[saintslewis]

❝ 𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐘 - 𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐀 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 🪩 ❞ - 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒

pairing: sir lewis hamilton x fem!oc; Nadia

summary: most of the social media post made throughout the miami gp weekend!

warning: twitter environment (you know the deal), cussing.

saint’s team radio: hi everyone! just wanted to give y’all a little something something before releasing ‘break my soul’ ! i’m a bit sick rn but i will get back into my groove very very soon 🤭

dividers by: @cafekitsune

pls like, comment and reblog! 🫶🏽

taglist: @queenshikongo3 @mauvecherie-writes @httpsserene @lorarri @goldenalbon @yeea-nah @non-stop-imagines (lmk if you want to be tagged!)

-

twitter

instagram

nadiahamilton

liked by lilymhe, badgalriri and 1,383,994 others

nadiahamilton yes i know where he keeps his music and no, i won’t be telling you where 🫶🏽

view comments

nadiahamilton it was sooo nice meeting you guys this weekend 🥹

pinned by author

user i swear you’re his lucky charm

fransisca.cgomes mother ‼️

alexandrasaintmleux and if i ask for your hand in marriage?

nadiahamilton let’s run away

user i fell in love everytime you appeared on screen

user her energy is so refreshing, even if it’s through a tv or phone 😭

user where do you get your clothes???

nadiahamilton i’ll make a highlight for all the stores i shop at 🫶🏽

herstudent i hope school’s open soon, we need the tea!!

nadiahamilton you’ll be getting the pamphlets for the medieval times instead 😚

user his arm…dear lord

nadiahamilton i know, can’t believe it’s wrapped around me rn 🥹

user13 no way she just said that????

yungfilly bestie takin over miami!!

chunkz i think this is where you’re wrong brotha 🤨

niko you’re right, i’m the bestie

nellarose_ YOU’RE ALL WRONG 🤣

nataliatheedon and if i smack your ass, i’m wrong 😔

nadiahamilton bc it really hurt plus you were running behind me????

mercedesamgf1 Mrs Mercedes 🤍

user lewis is washed, never going to get that 8th

nadiahamilton watch your mouth 🙏🏽

lilymhe tinkerbell 🥹

liked by nadiahamilton

user is this a inside joke???? a fun nickname??? we need to know!

sza do you think your man will have a problem if i take you away?

nadiahamilton when and where? 🤭

lewishamilton ???????

hater ad21 was deserved 🤣

nadiahamilton i know where you live 🫶🏽

hater as if

nadiahamilton Glendale right??

hater oh shit

user now how tf did she find that man’s address 😭

user don’t question her mastery 🗣️

lewishamilton my angel 🤍

nadiahamilton my superstar 💗

lewishamilton

liked by bellahadid, charles_leclerc and 3,383,929 others

lewishamilton miami, you’ve been good 🙏🏽

view all comments

nadiahamilton steal my captions why don’t you 🙄

lewishamilton it’s my job 😋

user blonde is so her colour

raye you both are so lovely 🤍

lewishamilton thank you Raye and btw, she’s crying because of this

nadiahamilton DON’T TELL HER OMG????

spinzbeatsinc king and queen of england

nadiahamilton do you want me to get deported??

user just accept your fate guys

user now i need to know if he speaks any south african languages

nadiahamilton he tries to but he says it in a british accent so i end up laughing at him

user mr, does this mean you’re the class dad?

lewishamilton i guess so?

herstudent YEAHHH OUR DAD’S SIR LEWIS HAMILTON!!!

user her face should be trademarked

user how many cars do you think they own together?

f1wags what a woman!

user petition for Nadia to be team principal!

mercedesamgf1 we back this 🫡

hater her tattoos were everywhere and stole the attention off Lewis! She’s so ugly

nadiahamilton never that 🙏🏽

user did you guys see that drake reposted her post?

user wasn’t he friends with lewis at some point???

zendaya see you guys soon 🫶🏽

racerbia mother and father

nadiahamilton my man is so fine y’all damn

user SHE’S SO REAL FOR THIS

nadiahamilton like he looks so delectable, my goat fr 🤭

lewishamilton nads 😧

f1 mother of the paddock ‼️

nadiahamilton pls not while Susie is right there ☹️

badgalriri i hope you do know there’s a group of us planning to take her

iamcardib heard she’s a stylist, need one rn

kehlani i second this !

latto777 if she ever needs flowers, i got her ‼️

nadiahamilton y’all 🥹

lewishamilton can you guys stop planning to take my wife away from me?

user idk, something’s fishy

user yeah bc where the fuck did she come from?

text messages !

♡‧₊ billionaire boys club

miles the fencer 🤺: no way they’re stealing your wife from you in broad daylight?

pookie buddy lewis: pls don’t chat, it’s hurting my spirit rn

princess natalia: let’s talk about nads meeting pharrell (also i’m a genius for naming this gc after his company)

daniel is spinning: her face was just like 😧

nadia: 🧍🏽‍♀️

personal pillow amara: but nads, genuinely, how do you feel after this weekend? it was a big one for you bae

nadia: i do feel like ripping the earth in half and falling in but it’s cool because lew gets me ice cream after 🤭

pookie buddy lewis: i always got your back, nads. you know that. we’ll get ice cream whenever you want

miles the fencer 🤺: GET A FUCKING ROOM OMG

princess natalia: EWWWWW

charlotte (not tilbury): don’t listen to them, this is the cutest shit ever 😭

andrew with the camera: but if i expose miles’ 0.5x photos, i’m wrong.

daniel is spinning: DRAG HIMMMM

personal pillow amara: i’ve taught you way too much danny

miles the fencer 🤺: man whatever 🙄

charlotte (not tilbury): nads, i HAVE to see you in malibu

nadia: ofc, i don’t know what to expect from that place

princess natalia: don’t worry bae, we got you!

ೃ° 

The Avengers (niko made this)

chunkz: nads, who’s this boy you’re chatting to? 🤨

filly felipe: “this boy” and it’s lewis hamilton 🤣

sharks: AND they’re married????

nadia: and i was going to invite you lot to my new place and show you my new car but ig you don’t want to

harry (pinero) potter: BOYS TAKE IT BACK

aj shabeeeeel: i personally never said anything 🙏🏽

niko: you know i’ve always loved f1, nads

nella loml: lying on a public platform, niko??

nadia: you lot are too funny i can’t 😭

nadia: but yeah, wanted to know when you guys are available so that you guys can meet him officially

fiily felipe: welcoming our brother in law aww 🥹

king kenny: how about we chat about the marriage??

nadia: how about no? 🫶🏽

chunkz: i’m just happy something so special is happening to you, nads. you deserve it

nella loml: it’s been a tough ride and already it’s looking so up for you bae

nadia: you guys wanna make me cry on a monday morning 🫵🏽

sharks: always the plan 🫡

niko: to make her cry????

sharks: 😐

king kenny: pls come back to London asap, Cench has been calling us up for a vid ever since the last two 😔

nadia: leave me out of that one, i have a husband 🖐🏽

chunkz: YOU TELL THEM NADS

filly felipe: nadia thandeka hamilton, it has SUCH a nice ring to it 😭

aj shabeeeel: and you guys look so leng together, already my brother in law 🫡

harry (pinero) potter: better get home quick for that debrief!

saint’s team radio (once again!): hope you guys enjoyed this one! it’s got a little touch of how nadia interacts with people she knows and people she doesn’t, our social butterfly 🥹

we finally have a ship name for our favs ‘Lewdia’ coined by @mauvecherie-writes!

i’ve got a few more smaus ready but yeah, love you guys loads! 💗

[drunknillawafer]

right down the line: zuko x firebender!reader | part 7

You grew up close to the Royal Family due to your father's position as a General, but you ran away from home after the agni kai against your best friend, Zuko. Now, you've joined the Gaang and plan on doing your part in ending the 100-year war.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

hi part 7... picking up right where we left off... i think I'm going to post a masterlist & keep it linked on my pinned to make it easier to sift through and find, esp since i do plan on posting other fics once i finished my very first >.< also i want to post the songs i listen to while I'm writing and some visuals hehe... just to make it much more immersive. again i do not own these characters and they are not mine! (except my mc i guess) like comment reblog if ya like... enjoy! about 1785 words

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙

We’re standing on a sand-colored platform of a structure currently being renovated or changed to fit Fire Nation standards. The usual for when they occupy lands that don’t belong to them. Aangs in front of me, with Sokka to my left and Katara to my right. We form a triangle and I'm thankful for the partial covering.

I’m thinking of the best way to summarize the threats ahead of us, just in case they try to change the plan. There’s a good chance this will go south.

“Mai, in the center, has good aim with her blades, but it’s Ty Lee, on the left, you should keep an eye out for.” I try to give my friends the run-down on my, I guess, old friends one would say. But we’ve only got so much time before all three of them realize that I’m here.  

They lower King Bumi from the top of the building using a metal crane. They’ve got him in a coffin-shaped cage with only his head showing.

“You brought my brother?” Mai speaks first, breaking the silence between the two groups. She squints at the sight of me, but I’m too far away for her to be sure it’s me.

“He’s here.” Aang solemnly replies. “We’re ready to trade.” In these moments, he’s got the grace of a 112-year-old.

Suddenly, Azula speaks to Mai in a hushed tone we can’t quite hear. Fine is never fine with Azula, nothing is ever the way it should be with her. There’s bound to be some trick up her sleeve that only feeds into her misery.

“I’ll help with the girl on the right, she’s the most vicious,” I warn them. I briefly make eye contact with Sokka. We haven’t talked about what was said and now wasn’t the time, but I couldn’t help but yearn for his gentleness. A reminder that I wasn’t like the enemies in front of us, but someone new. Someone he couldn’t hate.

Then, Mai steps forward. “The deal’s off.” With a lift of her gloved hand, King Bumi is raised once again by the crane.

“Bumi!” Aang cries out for his old friend and starts heading towards him, defying the laws of gravity bestowed upon the rest of us. It’s enchanting to see an air-bender. It’s so different from the rest of the elements. He looks like he’s flying.

As he does so, Azula strikes, and I see her blue flame for the first time. She must’ve perfected her oxygen levels for complete combustion; but if she’s the Azula I’ve always known, I know how to beat her. This time, I won’t go easy. I won’t make that same mistake again for nostalgia.

Aang’s head covering flies away as the air moves around him and his arrow is exposed.

I look down at Azula’s reaction and she’s close enough now to hear.

“The Avatar. My lucky day.” The princess smirks, re-organizing her plans for Omashu in her head.

“Remember, don’t let Ty Lee touch you!” I warn Sokka and Katara and dash toward Azula, offering Aang some support against the crazed fire-bender.

I follow her upward, burning the knot on the pulley to cause the rope to lift.

Azula can see me through the grids as the ropes pull us to the top of the building, and I can see her in real-time realize who I am.

“Well, if it isn’t the Royal traitor. Seems like you and Zuzu still share a brain.” She gloats.

“Leave the Avatar alone, Azula. I mean it!” We break through the ceiling made from wood and reach the roof of the building under construction.

She attacks Aang with a blue blast, causing him to break the metal chain. Aang instantly heads downward with King Bumi. He cushions their fall with an air bubble, and they land on the well-known ramps of Omashu. Azula quickly follows them using a cart, and I’m on her tail. If only I had Sokka’s boomerang right now, it makes so much sense to carry one in these situations.

We catch up to Aang, giving Azula the chance to strike him and Bumi.

I distract her with my own fire-blasts, making sure to lean forward and crash into her cart.

“Out of practice?” She questions.

“Out of patience.” I growl, punctuating my sentence with a blast from my right hand.

As we continue our fight by speeding through the ramps, I see Appa in the distance. Relief washes over me as I conclude Sokka and Katara must have gotten away from Mai and Ty Lee.

Aang attempts to lift Bumi onto Appa’s saddle with his bending, but he miscalculates and Bumi’s off to land on the ground. But his friend won’t let him go on his own. Together, they land on another ramp and head down to ground-level.

Azula’s right behind them, and I’m right behind her.

She attempts another attack, but a rock blocks her offense and bursts her cart into dust. I leap off mine before the impact breaks my cart too and we both land on our feet, an homage to our identical upbringing.

She lets Aang go for a reason I can’t quite put my finger on until she turns around to face me. We're still standing on the ramps.

“The key to never losing is knowing when you’re beat.” She says with her hands in defense, signaling that she’s waving the white flag.

I’m still in fight mode. I’d never let my guard down around her, not now, not ever. “You’ll always be beat as long as I’m here.”

She pauses to truly grasp my presence. It’s been three years since we’ve seen each other, and everything’s changed. We used to be on the same team, never friends but bonded by our birthplace. It’s the first time we no longer owe each other pleasantries. Azula, however, uses sweetness as a weapon. “Where have you been, Y/N? You’re missed at the Royal Palace.”

“I doubt it.” Zuko and his mother haven’t touched that home in years, making it impossible for anyone there to actually miss me.

“Your father misses you.”

“I know you’re lying, Azula.”

“You’ve never trusted me; I’ve never liked you. Now we don’t have to pretend do we?”

“Leave us alone,” I get in my fight stance. “Got it?”

“Fine. Loud and clear.” She dashes away in her infamous run toward the unfinished building, probably to catch up with her friends.

Fine isn’t fine. It’s I’ll get you somehow. I think to myself.

I watch her figure fade into the distance, when it hits me: “Seems like you and Zuzu still share a brain.”

Did Zuko abandon his ship?

Is she lying? She would have no reason to lie about something like that, other than to get to me or Aang. I can’t pinpoint a motive. I still won’t believe her 100 percent, but I’ll keep it in my back pocket.

I slide down the ramp Aang took and find the both of them at the very end, standing on a platform in another unfinished building. Once I’m off and my two feet hit the floor, Bumi bends rock to lift his metal enclosure up the ramp in a fit of laughter.

We both watch him go. “Your friend is very… eccentric.” I tell Aang, as he’s standing with Momo on his shoulders.

“Yeah.” I turn to face him, something’s wrong. He’s disappointed.

“He’s not going to teach you earth-bending?” I assume.

“No, he has to stay here to protect Omashu. I guess I got to find another teacher.” Now, he looks like a twelve-year-old boy with the weight of the entire world on his shoulders. There’s no way he’s meant to do this alone. I’d rather be here helping him than with Zuko.

“We’ll find one in no-time.” I reassure him.

“Who were those three girls?” He changes the subject.

“They were old friends too. Azula is Zuko’s sister.”

“Wow.”

“I know.” I sit on the edge of the platform, waiting for our ride with my feet dangling. Aang sits next to me, and for now, we’re just two kids talking, staring at the beautiful Earth Kingdom in front of us.

“What was it like… to grow up with them?”

“It was easy with Zuko. Azula… not so much.” I wince.

Aang’s face contorts, as if he’s remembering a distant memory. “Was Zuko good? Yaknow, back then?”

A smile creeps up on my face. “He was.”

“Do you think he still could be?”

Aang and I stare at each other. We’re choosing to live in the moment before my answer. The moment in which the possibility of Zuko changing his mind, realizing his mistakes, and helping us stop his father exists.  

“I don’t know.”

☆

The heat and the prickly bushes are upsetting him further with each and every single step. Looking for food when you’re used to someone cooking for you is daunting, Zuko realizes. How is he ever supposed to live like this? How did Y/N?

As he’s walking back to let Uncle know he couldn’t find anything edible, he touches the side of his hair. It’s grown back a bit since cutting it, slicing off his ties to the Fire Nation. Trading in the red for green, hoping to camouflage with the land and the Earth Kingdom people.

What a stupid idea, he thought. How could anyone ever confuse him with anyone else with the scar on his left eye?

But it seemed to be working so far. His sister hadn’t found them, and they haven’t been arrested for their crimes against every other nation.

In the humid morning, on his long walk back to where his uncle was staring at a tea leaf, he thought about the Northern Water Tribe.

He wondered if Y/N was okay from his strike. Maybe the water-bender girl could heal her, and she’d be okay again. He didn’t mean to. He’s been this hard and heavy with everyone else for the sole purpose of returning home, he forgot Y/N was his home. He’s been in fighting mode for so long, he’s forgotten to turn it off.

She wasn’t home, though. She was with the Avatar. Defending him and betraying her nation. How did she get there? He wondered. He had so many questions about everything. Zuko’s sure she had just as many questions for him.

Could he find her now that he was labeled a traitor?

Where his mind led made his empty stomach drop.

If he found her, he’d find the Avatar. Then, he could go home. But if Y/N was not there, would he still want to go back? Did his father’s acceptance matter above all else? It didn’t for Y/N, but she was always braver than him.

Zuko wasn’t ready for that thought, so he pushed it away.

It wasn’t hard to do when your stomach was louder than your thoughts.

------------------

tag list <3: @camilleverreault @staygoldsquatchling02

[korebringerofded]

I Can See You- Joel Miller X F!Reader

Summary- Your father is the boss of a major crime family that developed after the apocalypse. Life is pretty safe and boring until your fathers new associate, Joel Miller starts coming around and he starts to change everything.

Tags- Post apocalypse, pre!Ellie, one use of Y/N?

Warnings- Age gap, mutual pining, language, smut, mostly future smut, dirty thoughts, sexual situations and dialogue. Joel being hot and protective

Words-3500

Author Notes- Definitely doing a part two for this bad boy. I promise the next one will have so much damn spice I just gotta edit lol.

Thanks for checking out my stuff! Requests are open

Reblogs and comments are very nice please and thanks

I wanna do a whole Joel series with Taylor Swift songs soon so if anyone would like that please let me know!

Please do not copy, use my work, or put it through AI without my permission or I'll be really sad about it.

As much as you would have loved to have just forgotten this embarrassingly huge crush you had, it was becoming increasingly more difficult to get the image of your fathers newest associate out of your head.

You honestly should have known better, considering the first time you heard the name Joel Miller was regarding how dangerous he could be, how rugged and cold. He had apparently been caught smuggling some supplies around your fathers territory and by the end of it all a deal was struck and just like that Joel was working for your father.

It was the first time that you came in contact with him that really doomed you to fall for him so completely. You couldn’t say what exactly it was that drew you to him at first, he was handsome, obviously, and incredibly dangerous, maybe that danger is what made him so tempting to you, he was forbidden and a part of you liked that.

The first time you met Joel in person was a few weeks after you had first started to hear rumors of him around the compound. He was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee as you stood in the doorway, a bit shocked by the unknown visitor. He was…terrifyingly handsome, sharp jaw, scruffy beard, deep pools of brown eyes that you could get lost in. His salt and pepper hair that was perfectly messy matched his casual dress, jeans, work boots, plaid shirt. You stared at him for a moment, chewing at your lip before finally saying something. As his eyes settled on you, still in your pajamas and messy hair.

“G-goodmorning, I’m (Y/N).” You struggled to steady your voice, failing miserably. 

“Joel.” He partially turned to face you, raising his hand up to wave as he gave you a polite nod before going back to his coffee. You guessed he wasn’t really much of a conversationalist and tried to shrug it off before making your own coffee and retreating back to your room.

It went on like that for a few weeks, you watching him patrol the compound through your bedroom window, running into him when you both made coffee in the mornings, passing glances in the hallway

“You can’t walk around like that!” You sighed, setting your coffee on the counter behind you as you walked over to Joel and ghosted your small hands over Joel’s plaid shirt, it was a dark green and blue and was rather well worn with tears and it had been missing the middle button for years.

“I will be fine, darlin.” Joel snorted, rolling his eyes at you as he shook his head. “I don’t have any big dances comin’ up so I doubt anyone’ll notice.” Joel took a bite from the toast in his hand as he looked down at you, admiring your curves and glowing skin. 

Damn, he really needed to get himself under control.

“It most certainly is not fine.” You put your hands on your hips, scowling at him. ���Take it off, I am fixing it for you.” You held a hand out expectantly.

Joel couldn’t help but do as you asked so after he chuckled and teased you just a bit longer he was unbuttoning the remaining buttons on his shirt before tugging it off and handing it to you as he tried desperately to ignore the way your delicate hands felt against his as they brushed for just a moment.

You went back to your room holding the shirt to your chest with bright red cheeks, the fresh pine scent just enveloped you as you held it close to your face to breathe in his scent. 

Ugh, you totally were not getting creepy with this annoying crush at all.

It was the next morning and Joel was leaving his room in the compound when he felt his work boots knock over something and when he glanced down he saw a small shiny gift bag laying on its side.. He couldn’t help but grin and chuckle as he picked it up and pulled out his shirt, running his rough hands over your handiwork, not a hole or tear in sight and the missing button had been replaced with a shiny red one. It had never looked better. Something in him started to tear away then, such a small act of kindness. It just really got to him as he felt you start to warm the parts of him he had thought were cold and barren. 

When Joel stopped showing up for coffee you were more than disappointed as it had become something you secretly looked forward to everyday. The lack of seeing Joel seemed to only make your mind run in a circle of anxiety and embarrassment. He had taken up so much of your mind it was starting to drive you mad.

The next day you saw Joel it was probably the hottest day of the entire summer and you had taken refuge in the pool, a thin pink bikini covering your body, not leaving much to the imagination. It was damn hot and you honestly didn’t care, floating in the pool as you tried to ignore the blazing heat. You had been in the pool for a while, skin getting a bit pruny and eyes closed as you enjoyed the cool water.

“Hey! Care for some company?” A familiar voice made your eyes open quickly and in front of you on the edge of the pool was a curly brunette with wide shoulders and a toothy grin. Caleb, was one of the younger guards your father had hired recently and he was rather handsome, cocky and annoying, but still handsome and (most of the time) enjoyable.

“You do know if my daddy finds out your slacking off again there will be hell to pay?” You couldn’t help but giggle and tilt your head to the side. Caleb shrugged and sat his rifle down, untucking his shirt from his pants and starting to lift it over his torso. It was hard not to let your eyes wander at his tan toned body, and muscular arms. 

“He won’t be home for a while so-” Caleb’s cocky words folded into a yelp as he was dragged from the edge of the pool by the back of his neck.

“The fuck are you doing, boy? Get the hell back to work.” Joel spat, his thick Texas accent was so prominent now. Your eyes were so focused on Joel that you didn’t even notice Caleb grabbing his things and looking pale as a ghost while he ran off.

To be frank, Joel looked furious, his thick muscular arms bulged from his tight shirt as he stood at the edge of the pool, his sharp jaw tight as his arms were crossed over his chest. His dreamy brown eyes were now dark and stormy as he kept them locked on you.

It made you feel a bit meek and yet, you were also a bit pissed yourself.

“What is your problem?” You felt your cheeks getting hot as you started to get out of the pool, still dripping wet and hair reeking of chlorine as you stood in front of the scowling man. 

You hadn’t realized until now just how…huge that he was. His shoulders were broad, arms thick and rippled with muscles.His scent was thick and alluring, and being this close to him made your anger dwindle. 

“You shouldn’t be out here like this, kid.” Joel sighed, his eyes looking you up and down, his fists clenching and unclenching as his nostrils flared. 

“I am not a kid, and I really don’t need you to lecture me, old man.” You couldn’t help but jab at him, going to turn away before his rough hand gripped your arm tightly, his brown eyes staring intensely into yours.

There was a moment you were both frozen like that, his hand gripping your wrist. Joel honestly couldn’t help but rub his thumb over your wrist, gently drawing slow circles along your flesh. The water from the pool still dripped down your body and onto the pavement below, the sun beating down over your smooth skin. For a moment you swore you saw that cold demeanor melt away, for just a single moment before it was back and he was scowling again. Joel immediately let you go, turning away almost suddenly as he walked off. 

You hated to admit it but your heart lurched at the loss of contact and you stared at his broad shoulders as he walked away, wide eyed and cheeks a bright pink. It was hard to breath, hard to move as your heart beat echoed in your ribs and traveled through your whole body. You hated to admit how he was making you feel, it was confusing and sent waves of heat through your body as well as frustration.

Seriously, what was his deal?

He was really starting to take up a lot of your thoughts and the two of you had barely spoken aside from that day. It was starting to drive you nuts, you found yourself looking forward to running into him more and more as time went on. 

It would be two weeks before you saw Joel again as he was sent out on a job away from the compound (You knew better than to ask too many questions about specifics.) though you really couldn’t help but feel he was purposely trying to avoid you.

The evening sun poured into the kitchen as you sat at the counter, legs crossed as you flipped through the pages of your book. In all honesty you were desperately trying to distract yourself from thinking about Joel and his damn hands. The way he looked at you was unlike anything you had experienced before, it was intense and a little terrifying. 

You thought about those rough hands touching more than just your wrist, you thought of them dancing across your flesh expertly, back arching and breath ragged as his stubble ran across your chest and navel and lower until he was between your thighs, eyes hungry as his hands gripped your hips.

 Your thoughts were starting to consume you and you couldn’t help but audibly groan and let your head fall against the counter. 

“Uhhh..You okay there?” Joel’s voice cut through the room like a knife, his deep voice sent goosebumps over my neck and back. 

You were going to die of embarrassment, after all this time and he just shows up at the worst possible moment. 

You reluctantly sit up and turn towards him, cheeks a bit pink. 

“I'm fine- Woah.” When you faced him you felt yourself tense up. He had deep bruises on his jaw and his lip was busted open. “What happened to you?”

You didn’t really think about it, you grabbed a clean rag and walked over to him, tugging on his arm to make him sit in a chair so you can clean him up. 

“Its’ fine-I can handle myself.” Joel holds his hand up to stop you, your eyes locking for a moment. He can’t help it, your pleading eyes and trembling bottom lip made him fold almost immediately and his hand fell so you could move between his legs, gently pressing the rag to Joel’s bleeding lip. 

“It’s not ‘fine’.” You rolled your eyes, suddenly feeling embarrassed by your closeness but you focused on his lip, soaking the blood up and feeling a bit dazed at how damn handsome he was, how his thick pine scent mixed with the sweat on his brow and how that all made your heart leap in your chest.

“I’m gonna get the first aid kit- I’ll be right back.” You whispered, taking a step back as your nerves started to fully set in, this was too much, he was too tempting. If you were too close to him you were going to majorly embarrass yourself. You just wanted him so badly it was starting to fester in the pit of your stomach.

Once you returned you finished cleaning his wounds and dressing them, his breath spreading over your chest and neck as your delicate hands patched him up. You were really just too close for comfort. 

Joel was dying inside, clenching and unclenching his fists as he struggled to resist the urge to run his hands over your hips and to just fucking ruin you. He had certainly been avoiding you like the damn plague, you were gorgeous and going anywhere near you was sure to be nothing but trouble for the older man and yet…something about you kept him coming back to you, despite the dangers, despite the taboo. He just wanted you in every way. 

“All done. Now you won’t bleed all over the place.” You teased, feeling a deep sense of relief as you finally and yet still reluctantly backed away from Joel, cheeks heating up as his eyes met with yours again. 

“Thanks, darlin. Maybe you can be my personal nurse, hm?” Joel stood, smirking as he took a few steps closer, his chest inches from your face as you stared into those endless eyes of his. Joel slowly reached his hand up and brushed your cheek with a look so soft and cool it made your head spin. “See you later.” He mumbled softly before he turned away quickly and was gone just like that. 

He almost didn’t control himself there, his mind and heart racing in tandem as he willed himself to walk away, willed himself not to think about your smooth plush hips or your gemstone eyes that glimmered as they looked up at him, full of innocence and sweetness. Something that Joel, deep deep down, wanted to corrupt. He just had to avoid you at all costs. He could do that, right?

After that it was almost a month before you ran into him, and it was less so running into him and more so your father being a control freak and only allowing you to leave the compound when accompanied by a trusted guard and unfortunately for the both of you this meant Joel was given the honor of being your babysitter.

“I am 23, Joel. I don’t need you to lecture me.” You rolled your eyes as Joel took a beer bottle from your hands. You were already significantly more drunk than you needed to be, not that you would ever admit that of course.

You leaned against the bar, rolling your eyes dramatically. You had worn your tight black dress that hugged all of your curves, shiny red lips popping as you glared at the tall man, hands on your hips.

“Your daddy seems to think otherwise.” Joel shot you a glare, taking the beer bottle from you and passing you a glass of water which immediately made you groan.

“Don’t you ever loosen up?” You huffed, face heating up as you glared up at him, the alcohol burning through your veins and making you a lot more vocal and in all honesty, bratty.

“You don’t need to be shit faced when I take you home.” Joel sighed, crossing his arms over his chest, he wasn’t going to budge on this. 

“Fine. I am going to dance. You can sit here and sulk.” You huffed, spinning around and walking out into the drunken and stumbling crowd but not far enough that Joel couldn’t see. A part of you wanted him to watch.

You turned back to see his eyes staring at you in an almost predatory way and for a moment it almost made you lose your nerve. He was almost burning a hole in that dress with the heat and intensity of which he watched you. You couldn’t help but smirk a bit at the way he gripped his glass, his jaw tight as you started to sway your hips, dancing to the music. While across the room Joel watched every step, every sway. The way your hands ran over your stomach and chest, eyes low and chest rising and falling. He looked like a starved man as he looked you over, gripping his glass so hard you were concerned it would shatter.

You were much too drunk, you would certainly make a fool of yourself and yet you didn’t stop. His eyes on you made you hungry and a little light-headed. His gaze was so damn intense you didn’t even notice the man standing behind you before he tapped you on the shoulder and you turned to see Caleb, a little dazed and very drunk as you looked at him, his hair a bit messy and his typical toothy grin.

“You’re beautiful in that dress.” He smirked, going to lean forward to touch your hips before his eyes went wide and he started to back away, hands up as he pushed a few people to get away. He looked like he just saw a ghost. 

You stood, head tilted to the side as he ran off, confusion written on your face before you turned around and felt your own heart sink. Joel was stalking towards you, fists clenched and a terrifying dark look in his eyes as he approached you, getting nose to nose with you.

“I’m tired of this.” His voice was dark and gravely, it sent a shiver down your spine. 

In a swift motion Joel had lifted you by the waist, tossed you over his shoulder and started to walk out of the bar, his thick fingers holding your waist tight as he carried you out into the cool night.

“Joel! Put me down!” Your face was bright red in embarrassment, you struggled a bit but it was ultimately fruitless, Joel’s strength greatly outmatched your own.

After walking for a minute and ignoring your many, many threats Joel did eventually put you down. From the moment you saw him stalking towards you to right now you felt your blood boil in a fierce wave of anger. You ignored your trembling hands as you got nose to nose with him, tears stinging your eyes as you shoved your manicured index finger against Joel’s muscular chest.

“Seriously, what is your problem?!” You were seething as the words left your mouth, tears threatening to fall.

Joel just stared at you for a moment, the moonlight overhead was shimmering in the alleyway and illuminating your captivating eyes. Even now, as you furiously glared at him, eyes dark and angry, he was absolutely helpless to your beauty. He was fighting a losing battle with himself, he wanted to be a good man, he wanted to finish this job and get far away from you so he could stop himself from ruining not just his own life but yours as well.

“You.” He took a step forward, his eyes dark as he stalked towards you, his hands reaching out to pin you between him and the brick building.  “You are…my problem.” Joel was growling now, he was almost baring his teeth as he moved closer, his breath spreading over your neck as you stared wide eyed.

“W-what are you talking about?” Your voice was soft.

You couldn’t help but gasp when you felt Joel start to laugh, leaning his head against your neck, his beard rubbing against your skin as Joel took in your sweet vanilla scent as much as he could before pulling away. You could feel his body shake as he laughed before his deep brown eyes were staring into yours.

“Seeing you run around in that damn bikini, seeing you flirt with that douche. The coffees and those fucking eyes you keep giving me. It needs to stop. All of it.” Joel’s eyes were dark and serious, his jaw tight as he pressed his knuckles into the brick behind you. He was fighting everything inside of him. The fight between his morals and the way you were starting to make him feel. 

You were silent for a moment, looking at him with wide eyes that were glossy as tears threatened to spill down your rosy cheeks. Had you misread the entire situation?

“Why?” Your voice was soft as you looked at him, lip trembling a bit. You felt pretty pathetic.

“Aside from the fact that your daddy will kill me? You are just a young kid. It ain’t right.” Joel’s face softened a bit as he started to pull away, shaking his head as he struggled to keep his eyes on anything but you and your glimmering eyes. 

“You don’t…you don’t want me at all?” 

Those words sent electricity down Joel’s spine as you looked up at him, tear stained cheeks and trembling breath as you reached for him. He in fact did want you, he wanted you more than he had ever wanted anything or anyone.As much as Joel wanted to spare you, to allow you to stay pure and good but something in him was so damn loud and hungry for you, his internal voice was kicking the shit out of him for making you cry. He just didn’t want to hurt you.

He couldn’t take it anymore and in a quick movement Joel had you pressed against the wall again, his hands holding your hips as his mouth ghosted over yours, his breath heavy and hot against your neck as he whispered in your ear.

“I want you so damn much, darlin. So damn much…” 

Part Two Coming Soon???

[chestersbraincell]

Finally doing an Introduction post 👀

It’s quite long, so I’ll put it as a “Read more”

I don’t necessarily identify with any particular name, but I have adopted a few Proper Noun - ish names which are in the list below. I don’t particularly attach myself to them as I don’t think I have a true name that exists, but the below are some things which I’ve collected that somewhat tangentially relate to myself or that I just, well, like! Aside from those, I much prefer to be referred to by, well, descriptors, I guess? It’s like you would go- oh, look at that ________ over there!/That _________ is……… kinda like that!

Well anyway, listed in somewhat of an order of preference(THEY’RE NOT PRONOUNS BTW):

•[REDACTED]

•Chester/Jester

•creature or any other variants of such descriptor

•Void/Voidling/shadow

•Shifting Void

•Nix/Asher

•Weeping Willow

(More may be added in the future)

I go by any pronouns, including any neos you think might suit my vibe! (that is, only with neo’s that are respectful, ie no slurs/otherwise offensive terms). I much prefer gender-neutral terms along with they/them, but I don’t get dysphoric with masc-leaning stuff. The only slightly touchy terms/pronouns for me are the feminine ones, I mean, they’re fine to use I would just rather they were used on rare occasions/as sayings(stuff like girl).

With that out of the way, it’s pretty important to say what I post, right? I partake in MANY fandoms, so never expect a singular theme. That being said, you can largely expect many reblogs/posts about:

•Undertale/Deltarune(rarely utmv stuff, I’m just not really a fan)

•Hermitcraft/Life series(Mainly Grian, Mumbo, GoodtimeswithScar, Smallishbeans and Geminitay), as well as sometimes generally just Minecraft related things

•Our Wonderland(VERY underrated psychological horror visual novel that you should check out NOW!!! 🫵🫵)

•My experiences as Alterhuman/Otherkin(more on this later)

That’s the main bulk of my stuff, however, I also pretty frequently post and reblog about:

•Mouthwashing

•Slay the Princess

•Dress to Impress(I often like to post my own outfits that I make!!)

•my experiences with Dermatillomania/Skin Picking Disorder

•generally rants/rambles/storytimes/whatever comes into my mind really. I use this blog a lot like a public diary, so also expect a fair share of venting/trauma dumping. I try my best to trigger warning these but yeah.

Now!! That’s!!! A lot of stuff wouldn’t you say? How does one navigate said stuff if you’re browsing my blog? Well!! The featured tags have been edited to feature my most commonly posted about things, and they’re a great way to filter through my blog. I reblog ALOT(especially using the queue, which I choose to not tag), so if you’re interested solely in my original posts I have just the tag for you: Asher’s Ramblings . With one small problem unfortunately. Annoying part being you have to manually type asher’s ramblings into my blog’s search bar WITH a space at the end for most posts to show(I think it’s because at a point I just started to copy and paste the tag instead of manually typing it). Otherwise the featured tags should work fine.

Sometimes when you interact with someone, you have an image of them in your head. For a lot of people, that is influenced by their profile picture. And if you wish to see me as a Garfield dressed up in yellow and red clown attire that is completely fine! But!!! If you were curious as to what my internet sona looked like, then the closest I think I could get would be my Roblox avatar:

But alas, that is, as well as my current mortal human body, a mere suit, a shell, that contains my true self. Yupp here is where you get an exact description of my Alterhuman/Otherkin identity yippie!!!

The main “kin” identities I identify with are “Voidkin” and “Shapeshifterkin”. I am like the physical/metaphysical embodiment of, well, space, I guess? That is my “home”, anyway. The void is my home. Where I come from. But sometimes I’m also part of it. Not to get too spiritual with it but I do believe in reincarnation in my own way, and I believe that being part of the “void”, or just general “energy” floating around there is the in-between in which my soul resides in between lifetimes.

I think I’ve lived many a lifetimes which have shaped the main forms I take when I’m more, well, shaped. Most of the time the shape I take is mostly humanoid, with various animal/otherwise features at different times, such is the way of being a shapeshifter. I’m vanta-black in colour, except for the two glowing circles that are my eyes. They’re not always visible/open, but a lot of the time are. Also occasionally my teeth/fangs will highlight in a similar way. Oftentimes as of recent I’ve been covered in fur/my silhouette is “fuzzy” on the edges, but there are times when I feel more cool, smooth. The best way I could describe it is the texture of phone/computer screen. That and I’m semi-corporeal. So. Not entirely tangible. I take a liking to forests and dark spooky hallways/general areas, I think at some points I might’ve been something similar to a cryptid. Generally just like to become one with the darkness I occupy, too. Malleable is my shape is all I want to say.

Rarely, but it does happen, I experience more animalistic shifts(in the shapeshifter way, btw, since I know “shifts” is something used by otherkin identities in a different context). The forms I take, then, are most often either feline or canidae in nature. I’ve considered moth and squirrel before but I’m not sure whether I just share some traits/behaviours or whether I have had moments where I was completely shaped like that.

Well, I guess coming to an end, it would be worth to do a somewhat “DNI” list or whatever people do in that vein, if we’re speaking of interaction. A good rule of thumb would be that, if you don’t fw the things I am or the things I enjoy, probably move along. You’ll probably get a block from me if you’re Homophobic, Transphobic, Racist, Nazi, just generally if you’re a shitty human being and if I don’t block you because I don’t know of these views you hold, I would appreciate if you stay away from me thanks. I don’t enjoy partaking in discourse most of the time, especially if I’m not in a place to speak on the matter(ie not affected by it personally).

Though, I guess since this is tumblr, I guess I should specify my attitude towards shipping. I personally don’t like the terms pro/anti because they’re very reductive and people define them in different ways anyway. I’d say I have like 3 tiers of attitude towards ships:

Tier 1(A-okay with it, no problems here)-basically any ships considered completely unproblematic and healthy. I guess the only one some may disagree with being healthy that I put in this category is (STRICTLY) romantic minor x minor pairings. Because don’t act like minors don’t get into relationships/have crushes. If you make it weird/sexual then that’s on you and you’re weird.

Tier 2-ships where the relationship between the two characters may be seen as toxic or unhealthy. This includes stuff like Yanderes, bully x victim, codependency, non-age related power imbalances, stuff like that. With these, I do ship them, but in the way that I like to see these dynamics explored and written about/depicted. If you romanticise/endorse these then I am not okay with you and if I find out you do this I will likely block you at my own discretion. I just like to see them purely for the angst+the representation.

Tier 3- what you’re likely thinking of. Incest, anything involving minors x adult, SA victim x abuser, sexualisation of minor x minor pairings(yes, even if you age them up). I don’t want to see it. I will likely view you with disgust if I see you endorsing/posting it. I want to clarify I am against witch-hunting and harassing individuals who do this, and that I know some do this as a trauma response. I am not in a place to tell someone how to process their trauma. But I don’t want to see it.

Oh yeah, also, I’m currently 17 and soon 18, so I guess I should set out some boundaries there. Of course, I have no way of verifying your age and quite frankly I’m not responsible for your unrestricted internet access, so everything is up to your discretion. However. If I may lay down some personal preferences I would say my page is okay for anyone aged 13 and up; just make sure to have the tag “nsfw” blocked since I tag some of my more suggestive posts/jokes that way. As for more personal interaction like DMs or being something akin to “friends”(I don’t particularly like getting close to anyone let alone calling them a friend because of my trust issues, calling someone a friend makes it official and that scares me) I would personally prefer if you were at-least 16, 15 if we’re really pushing it but then again it really depends on how emotionally mature you are on whether we would be able to find common ground.

[wiypt-writes]

Brothers In Arms

Part 9: I Believe In You

Summary: You and Ransom take time to heal, both yourselves and each other, and look forward to a future without having to glance back over your shoulders…

Warnings: Bad language, violence, smut (NSFW) 18+ guns and stuff…

Pairing: MOB Ransom Drysdale x Reader.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any of the characters contained within this series bar the Reader and any other OCs that may or may not be mentioned. I do not give permission for this to be translated and/or reposted on any other platforms. Reblogs are fine: Sharing is caring.

By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

So this is it, the tenth and final part. There will be an epilogue eventually but for now it’s goodbye to Ran and his Princess. Thank you to all who have read and reblogged along the way. And to my darling beta @spectre-posts 💙❤️

Brothers in Arms Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Part 9

W/C: 6.5k ish…

With Ari’s blessing, you stayed in Boston for a few days.

Okay, maybe blessing would be pushing it a little too far. It was more like a begrudging acceptance, punctuated with sarcasm about how you favoured that asshole to your own brother.

You knew he was mostly joking, however. That said, when you got news that Ari was being discharged, you flew back to New York, to be there for your brother.

Three days after that, Ransom was given the okay to return to Queens, under strict instructions to take it easy.

When the two of you had talked, you’d made it clear that your reconciliation was taking place at your speed. You hadn’t been quite ready to jump all the way back in just straight away. Instead, you wanted to take it slow, build what you had back up from the very foundations which had been shook.

So far you had spent most of your days with Ransom at the mansion whilst he was still recovering. Be it watching TV or taking short walks around the grounds. You cooked or ordered in, snuggled up together but each night you’d drawn the line in the sand and headed back to Ari’s, your intimacy not passing the kissing stage.

Ransom hadn’t argued, he hadn’t pushed. He’d simply agreed to give you the time you needed, his only request being that if you still weren’t ready to move back in by the time the baby arrived, you at least agreed to stay in the house and he would go back to his penthouse, to allow you and your future son or daughter somewhere comfortable to begin your life together.

You’d agreed, although you knew deep-down it wouldn’t come to that. You wanted to move on. You forgave Ransom, you had to if you wanted to make things work. You just needed the time to navigate this new start, but you were confident you could.

You smiled at Ransom, as he stood in the open doorway as you pulled up the drive.

“You should be resting.” You looked at him. He was dressed casually, in a pair of dark blue denims and a cream cable knit cashmere sweater.

“I’m fine.” He rolled his eyes as you stopped in front of him. You stood on your toes to peck him on the lips. He then moved back to let you walk into the hallway.

You smiled a little at the Christmas decorations that had been installed over the weekend. Usually you liked to decorate yourself, but with everything that had been going on, and the fact you were now two weeks into December, you’d agreed to let Ransom pay for someone to come and do it.

“Have you drunk enough water?” He asked and you couldn’t help the chuckle. Today was your first ultrasound, the first time you’d get to see your baby and hear its heartbeat. And of course, Ransom had been reading up all about the process.

“I…yeah, I guess. I mean I’m peeing every fifteen minutes or so. In fact, I need to go now.”

Ransom snorted as you headed off and made his way to the kitchen to wait for you. Soon you joined him, and he slid a small water bottle to you from the fridge, along with some carrot sticks which seemed to be a snack you couldn’t get enough of at the moment.

“Carter or Blanc can drive us today.” He offered, “I would myself but…”

“You’re not allowed yet.” You chuckled, swallowing your snack. “I can drive, it’s no issue. I drove here.”

Ransom popped a shoulder. “I’d prefer it if you let them, please.”

You looked at him and then smiled softly, deciding to let him have his way. “Okay.”

“And I thought if you wanted after, we could go for lunch.”

“Sounds great.” You nodded.

After a quick cup of coffee, decaf for you, you headed out to the car and we’re soon pulling up outside the private clinic.

Ransom stepped out first, and you didn’t miss the little wince he gave. You sighed and then leaned between the seats to speak quickly to Carter.

“Thank you, I know you know what’s going on.”

“Don’t know what you mean, Miss.” he shot back, flashing you a wink.

With a smile, you moved to step out of the car and took Ransom’s hand.

“Do we find out what it is today?” Ransom asked as you walked into reception, and you laughed.

“No, I’m only…well, about 8 weeks or so. We won’t see that for a good few months. That is if we decide to.”

“Oh.” He then blinked. “You don’t wanna find out?”

“I dunno.” You shrugged, “maybe, maybe not. I like the idea of it being a total surprise.”

Ransom smiled and pulled your hand up to kiss your wrist, “whatever you want, baby.”

Soon enough, you were called in after waiting in a small, comfortable room and you led on the bed, the cold jelly spreading over your stomach as the doctor moved the wand. Your ears then filled with the rhythmic thumping and your eyes caught the first glance of your baby on the little screen.

You smiled and glanced at Ransom, his eyes were fixed on the image, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed.

The Doctor smiled, then showed you where your baby’s head was, their heartbeat.

“And from the size then, yes, I’d estimate you’re between seven and eight weeks. So that gives us a due date of…the 29th of July.”

You swallowed and dropped your head. You’d secretly been hoping for s miracle, that you wouldn’t actually be that far along. But you knew deep down that had been stupid. Because no matter how much you did the maths, no matter what apps you keyed the dates of your cycle into, it still came back to the same thing. That your baby was likely conceived at any point really from 28th October to 12th November. It could belong to either of the twins.

“Can…can I get a copy, can we get a copy?” Ransom asked, his eyes still on the screen as he raised your hand to his lips.

“Absolutely.” The Doctor smiled. “I’ll grab you one now and we’ll get you booked in for your next ultrasound and I’ll get you some information leaflets on our Lamaze classes.” She smiled as Ransom leaned over to kiss your head. You spluttered as you wiped your eyes. “Is there anything you wanna ask me?”

Ransom launched into a myriad of questions about what you could and couldn’t do, what you had to stop eating, drinking and you couldn’t help but some out, instead focusing on his face.

You took a deep breath, and as you watched Ransom intently listening to the doctor, your heart swelled. Your momentary wobble flew from your mind as you were reminded that it didn’t matter. He was all in, you could see that. As far as Ransom was concerned, this baby was his. And when you logically thought about the odds, it probably was.

You’d agreed when you’d decided to make things work, not to dwell on any of this. And now it was time for you to live up to the bargain. Your baby was a Drysdale, not a Rogers.

You heard the Doctor tell you she’d be back soon, and you smiled as she wiped the gel from your stomach and left.

Ransom turned to you, your hand still held in his. “You okay, Princess?”

“I’m fine.” You nodded, “that was just…”

“Yeah…did you see him?”

“Oh, it’s a him?”

“Yup.” Ransom nodded, smirking. “My son and heir.”

“You know, it might be a girl. Girls are just as capable of being bad asses.” He playfully wrinkled his nose, and you slapped his arm. “Oh, wait till I tell Natasha your opinions on-”

“Err, there’s no need for that.” He cut you off, chuckling. The room fell silent, and he took a deep breath, his hand round yours as he looked at the floor. “Listen, Y/N. I know…I know we said we’d take things at your pace, and I’m, well, maybe happy to do that is the wrong phrase, but I understand. I know it’s what you want, and it’s the least I can do after…after everything I did, because I don’t deserve you.”

“Ran, please…we agreed not to dwell-“

“No, I know…lemme finish, please baby.” His blue eyes bore into yours, imploring you to let him have his day and you closed your mouth. You watched him, as the hand that wasn’t wrapped around yours moved into his pocket. When he brought it back out, you blinked as you recognised the small ring box he held in his palm. “I’d like you to have this back. It’s yours. And…maybe when you’re ready, you can put it back on. Whenever that may be…if you…if you ever are.”

You licked your lips and swallowed the lump in your throat, but it stuck in your chest. You inhaled through your nose and sighed out of your mouth. You bit the inside of your cheek. The look in his eyes appeared defeated. It didn't sway the way your heart felt. Your eyes flicked back to the box. Then you nodded and gently took it.

Ransom exhaled loudly as you smiled and nodded towards your bag.

“Imma need to put it in there…”

"Okay," he nodded. He figured that was what you wanted.

He passed it over and you stored the box carefully, zipping it into the compartment for safe keeping.

Soon enough, the two of you were on your way, copied of the ultrasound pictures with you. He took you to lunch in the Harbor. The changing of the seasons didn't make for a great view, but the gesture was there. The pair of you chatted, in a way you’d always been able to. About anything and everything.

Certain subjects were off limits, elephants in the room. But it was smooth. The ride back to the mansion was quiet but not unbearable. Your mind whirred. So much had gone on in the last few hours it seemed, and it had you thinking. Your eyes would flick to your bag at your feet, and you'd chew on your cheek.

“Princess?”

"Hmm?" You hummed softly.

“Are you coming in or do you want to head back to…to Ari’s?”

"I'd like to stay a little longer," you admitted.

“You can stay as long as you want.” Ransom took a deep breath. “If it was up to me you’d never leave.”

You softly smiled at the sentiment as he opened his door. He strode round to yours and offered you his hand.

You took it and allowed him to help you out of the car. His hand settled on the small of your back as he led you to the front doors. Once inside, he took the time to follow you into the foyer and then toward the kitchen where you left your bag on the island. You took the ultrasound images out of your purse and set the on the marble.

"Can I keep one?" Ransom asked as he stood behind you, his arms snaking around your middle to rest his hands on your stomach.

"You can have more than one." You turned your chin, so you looked up at him.

“Yeah?” His lips curled up at the side.

"Yeah, you can have half if you'd like, they gave us six," you chuckled.

Ransom snorted as he kissed your neck, “I think I’ll stick one to the fridge.”

"Oh my, that's a big step," you sniggered. "Big Mob Boss Ransom Drysdale puts a picture on the stainless steel."

“Hey, that’s my future son and heir.”

"Or daughter."

“Whatever.”

"I'm only kidding," you leaned back into him a little.

“Me too, sorta. I don’t mind what they turn out to be. As long as they’re healthy.”

"Me either. But it'd be interesting to see you with a daughter. It'd be entirely comical to see you with a son."

“Why comical?”

"Because I can see it." You turned in his arms and wrapped your own around his neck after they slid up his chest. "A little boy with your eyes that reins terror over this house and your kingdom. God help you when they're sixteen."

Ransoms brows flicked up before he gave a lowly chuckle, “well, maybe having a girl wouldn’t be so bad. There’s one obvious upside to that too.”

"Which is?" You cocked your head to the side a little as you looked up.

“They’re more likely to be like you, less like me. Not quite as fucked up.”

Your face softened, "Ransom." Your eyes welled up, "don't you ever say that again."

He licked his lips and hung his head, “I’m sorry…”

Your hands moved from around his neck to his jawline, your fingers spreading over his cheeks. "You're not a perfect man, but you're not fucked up either. You fell from grace, but that doesn't mean you can't change, or you haven't already made changes. I see you for what you're worth, Ransom. Our children will too."

At that he swallowed, his eyes misted over before he frowned a little, a soft smirk spreading across his face. “Children?”

You gave a soft smirk and a little pop to your shoulder, "I won't rule it out."

Ransom opened his mouth, but closed it again, and instead his hands cupped your face. “I don’t deserve you.”

You could see the turmoil in his eyes, he felt guilty. Guilty over what he’d put you through, ashamed of what he’d done to you, how he’d hurt you the way he did.

"We're gonna get through this," you encouraged. "It doesn't feel like it, but we will. I still love you."

“I love you too, so fucking much princess.” He sniffed.

You swallowed and sniffed, "I know."

He leaned down to you, his nose bumping yours gently before he kissed you.

There was something different to this kiss than the others you’d shared since you agreed to work things through. It was laden with emotion. Your eyes fluttered shut, the tenderness behind his lips made your stomach somersault. Your fingers pressed into the nape of his neck as a small whimper slipped through your throat.

“Fahk…” Ransom wrenched his lips away and pressed his head to yours.

You were a little breathless and lightheaded. "Ransom...."

“I know…too soon.”

"Just kiss me again."

With a surprised blink that merged into a soft smile, Ransom did exactly as you asked.

Again, the kiss was heady and needy. You needed him, no, you for the first time in a long time, you wanted him.

“Take me to bed.” You whispered, your eyes closed as he pulled away, lips mere centimetres from each other.

"Yeah?" It was barely a whisper, in fact you weren't sure he spoke at all, but you felt the word on your lips.

"Yes."

His lips were back on yours, those hands that cupped your face slid down your arms to your hips before they curled around your thighs.

In an easy movement he lifted you off your feet, your legs wrapping around his waist. He grimaced slightly, but made no moves to set you down.

"Be careful," you spoke gently. "You're still healing.”

“I’m fine, princess.”

"Okay," you kissed him again.

Somehow you ended up in the bedroom you once shared, him having carried you up the stairs.

Ransom set you down gently on the bed, bending at his waist to continue kissing you. When he pulled away for just a moment, you saw a hunger in his eyes you hadn't seen in a long time. A hunger that made you tingle and a spark that set your inside on fire. But there was a softness behind the hunger that made you want him more. You easily took the lead and grabbed the side of your sweater, pulling it up and over your head, tossing it to the floor.

Ransom wanted to touch you, put his hands on you. Felt desperate to have your skin at his fingertips. You waited on bated breath for him to do something.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he swallowed.

A step forward closed the space between you, and he settled between your legs. His hand cupped your face and settled into a cradle against your jaw. He rubbed his thumb across your cheek bone then slowly dragged along the column of your neck until he reached your sternum. With a flat palm, he gently pushed until your back hit the mattress.

You couldn’t help the little giggle that flew from your lips as your head hit the soft surface of the comforter.

You watched as Ransom pulled his own sweater off, tossing it somewhere over his head.

Your eyes glazed over with desire as you watched him kneel against the mattress and began to cover your body with his. But you didn’t miss the scar that ran along his side, where his brother had done his best to take his life.

It was still red and raised. A mark that wouldn't fade for a long while. Your fingers reached out and lightly grazed it.

Ransom swallowed as he watched your eyes follow your fingers before your gaze flicked to his.

“It’s the only thing left of him.” He shook his head, as he reached for your hand. “And soon, it’ll fade to nothing. Like he has.” His lips kissed the pads of your fingers.

You nodded, your lip tucked between your teeth. It was the only truth you needed. The baby in your belly was his and only his. Nothing else mattered.

He let go of your hand and leaned over, his lips brushing yours before they moved to the hinge of your jaw.

Your mouth parted in a sigh as you bent upward to kiss him. You traced the seam of his lips with your tongue and Ransom eagerly responded but kept allowing you to lead the pace.

There was a fear in the back of his mind that you'd change your mind, tell him to stop. That all this was a mistake. But the minute your hand slid up over his shoulder, nails caressing the short hair at the nape of his neck, that fear left him.

He kissed your lips, your jaw, your neck. He nipped gently at your collarbone, fluttered kisses between your bra covered breasts and you hissed as he palmed your left one with his right hand.

"Are you okay?" Ransome wondered against your skin.

"Just sensitive," you smirked.

“I don’t wanna hurt you.”

"You won't."

“Tell me if I do.”

“Ransom...."

Yeah?”

"I want you. I want...I want this. Stop stalling."

“I’m sorry.” He sighed.

You cupped his face, "no more sorry."

Okay…” he nodded, as he took a deep breath. “I love you.”

"I...we love you."

With a soft expression on his face, his lips were back on yours.

With tenderness you knew he was capable of, he stripped you, kissing every inch of skin he could find.

You sighed and gasped, hummed and whimpered. You were already wet between your legs and by the time you were naked, you were squeezing your thighs together for relief.

As his knee nudged your thighs apart, his hands reached up and his fingers slipped between yours.

You felt his tip kiss at your slit, and you titled your hips upward. Ransom slid in with a slow and shallow thrust.

"Oh my god...”

“Shit, princess. Fahk…”

"You feel so good, baby...."

“You too…” he groaned as he pulled back, and then pushed deeper into you with a roll of his hips.

Your back arched off the mattress as your body curled around him completely. You crossed your ankles at the small of his back and squeezed his fingers between yours.

His lips crashed back to yours in a desperate kiss.

Your tongue forced upon his and he growled against your kiss. You whimpered at the thrust he reciprocated with. It only made you speak against his lips.

"Faster," you begged.

With a low moan, he gripped your hands tighter as his hips began to thrust.

"Oh fuck, thassit, Ransom..."

“Oh, baby…” he choked, his lips latching onto your pulse point, “I missed this. I missed you.”

“Oh shit," you whined. "Me...too..."

“My Queen…” he whispered, his nose brushing the shell of your ear.

"My King," you rasped.

You felt him shudder, a soft whimper escaping his mouth and it made your insides burn. The power you held over him, the way you could reduce him to a quivering wreck. Such a ruthless man in his business, ruling his kingdom with an iron fist and yet you could undo him simply with words.

"S'close, Ran," you moaned.

“Me too, baby.”

"Just...right...."

He knew how to read your body like a cartographer knew how to read a map. He knew where to touch, where to kiss, where to brush gently and where to grab a little more firmly…

The beginning flutters of your orgasm coiled around his cock and your fingers began to squeeze his a little harder. "Ransom, I'm....I'm gonna..." You sighed with a high pitch to your breath as you came. Your body tenderly tensed around him as your heels pressed against him, your toes curled.

“Oh, thassit…” his eyes watched your face. He loved seeing you fall apart, the way your jaw laxed, how your eyelashes kissed your cheeks like the fluttering wings of a butterfly.

He wasn't far behind you. His body flexed above you, his fingers tight and palms pressing the back of your hands into the mattress.

When you opened your eyes, you saw the look on his face before he whimpered and let himself press into you a little more, his face buried into your neck.

"Oh, baby," you cooed.

He didn’t reply, simply nuzzled into you more. And it was only when you felt the wetness against your skin that you realise he was crying.

Your eyes stung, too. There were a lot of emotions that came through the course of the day, and it seemed to have settled between the two of you at the end of your physical reconnecting. You kissed his shoulder and whispered that things were okay. That you were okay, and the two of you were okay.

Eventually he pulled back, and you wriggled your fingers free from his. With a soft smile you reached up and brushed back the longer strands of hair that had flipped forward over his forehead.

"I wanna come home," you whispered wetly.

“You are…” Ransom’s voice cracked, “you don’t ever have to leave.”

******

You stayed that night. And you stayed the next night. And the night after that. On the fourth day your engagement ring was back on your finger, and by the seventh most of your stuff was back from Ari’s. The items you left, which Carter had put into storage instead of being destroyed as Ransom had instructed, were returned to their rightful place and it was as if you’d never been gone.

Christmas came and went, you spent it at home, just you, Ransom and Ari. The New Year passed, the snow melted, the spring flowers emerged. And, as the seasons changed, so did your body. Your bump blossomed like the trees, your eyes shone like the diamond on your hand, and to Ransom you were simply more beautiful with each day that passed.

Before you knew it, six months had passed. Things on Ransom's 'business' end were still a tight ship.

He hadn’t attempted to seize Brooklyn, instead he’d left the power vacuum to sort it sort itself out. His personal involvement with the ‘dodgy dealings’ had become less and less, his outside focus mainly on the Publishing Company. His attempt was to at least appear more straight on the outside, the unborn baby in your belly his number one priority.

He didn’t want your son, or daughter, being born into any kind of turf war, despite him joking about them being heir to his empire. He wanted safety, security for them, and if that meant appearing to go straight, so be it. He kept peace with the other factions and mobs in the area.

But he still ruled his own with an iron fist.

One particular day in April, you’d met your friend for a spa day, a bit of pampering whilst he held a meeting in his office.

“So, whaddya want me to do boss?” Langley asked, “send a message? I mean, do we want the Maximoffs muscling in on this?”

Ransom pondered for a moment, then looked across the table to Stark. “What do you think?”

Tony wrinkled his nose, “it depends, do you wanna rock the boat?”

Ransom tapped his fingers on the desk, “leave it be, it ain’t important. Let them take their shipment. It won’t have a big effect.”

“You’re the boss.” Langley shrugged.

An hour or so later, the rest of his men had left, leaving him and Langley alone.

“I gotta hand it to you, Dysdale, you really have calmed down a lot. Impending Fatherhood suits you.”

Ransom merely flicked his brows.

“I know what happened with Rogers was shitty, but… well, looks like it all turned out for the best, huh?” Langley stood from his chair, “whoever it was that sent that photo to you did you a favour in the long run.”

Random cocked his head to one side, studying the man in front of him through narrowed eyes. “Hmmm.”

“Anyway, I have stuff to do so I will see you tomorrow, Boss.”

“Sure.” Ransom nodded, reaching into his desk drawer.

With a final nod, Bryce turned to go, but stopped dead when he heard the loud click of a gun mechanism being cocked.

“You know, I knew Walt had to have someone pushing his buttons. The Iago to his Othello, so to speak, but I never expected it to be you.” Ransom’s voice was cool and collected as Langley turned to him, his eyes narrowing.

“Boss, I’m not-“

“I told no one I’d been sent those photos,” Ransom chewed the inside of his cheek as he rose gracefully from his seat.

“What?” Langley’s voice was a whisper as he swallowed, realising his mistake. His eyes were fearful as he watched Ransom round the desk and advance on him, like a tiger stalking its prey.

“So, the only possible explanation for you knowing is if you were the one who did. And, if you knew Rumlow was going to be there, with Walt, then you had to have known about it from the start.”

Bryce floundered like a fish outta water, looking for a viable story on a dime. His eyes flicked from Ransom, then to the gun which was trained at his head.

“Why?” Ransom exhaled, “come on, humour me. And don’t try and tell me it was all Walt, because we both know if brains were dynamite he wouldn’t have enough to blow off his eyebrow. He might have wanted the head seat at the table but there’s no way he’d have come up with something so elaborate. So, here’s your moment. The big confession before I blow your brains out.”

Langley blinked, before his jaw set, and an angry look crossed his face. Ransom recognised it as resignation, and he openly smirked. He knew his childhood friend too well, Bryce understood his time was up and he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to explain, gaud Ransom one last time.

“The plan was to get rid of you and Steve, frame it as a rivalry gone wrong with the Maximoffs. Then Walt would take the lot, the business, inheritance. I’d get twenty percent, plus Brooklyn.” He clicked his tongue, “only Rumlow fucked the hit up, hit Peggy instead. It could have screwed it all up-“

“Then Steve killed Rumlow…and you saw your next opportunity, right?” Ransom arched a brow, “I played right into your hands, I listened to you, and I didn’t give Steve an alibi for Rumlow’s murder.”

“You always listened to me,” Bryce scoffed, “Walt was right, you were too soft. You’d have done it for him, despite everything that had happened between you. But I convinced you and then we had a new plan. We’d wait, bide our time, feed Steve a little metaphorical ammo and then he’d come after you.”

“So, you’re the reason he thought I organised the hit?”

Langley nodded, “I expected him to kill you, take out a hit of his own…but as time went on, it never came. Then it all went to shit. We didn’t expect Steve to get out as quickly as he did, not before we had come up with another plan. I mean, I wasn’t bothered at first, I expected him to kill you, not to…well…anyway, he totally fucked the whole thing up. And I knew it would only be a matter of time before you both started digging and the truth came out.”

“So, you panicked.” Ransom felt the nerve in his jaw tick. “You sent the photos to get yourself off the hook.”

Langley licked his lips, “when I heard that Levinson was looking into it, yeah. I cut my losses and sent him the photo with the intent of leading him to Walt. Then that asshole Barnes stabbed him so…”

“You sent it to me.” Ransom finished.

Langley nodded.

“Ransom took a deep breath. “You seriously did all this for money? You caused all this for…”

“No, it wasn’t just for money!” Langley’s face grew red, and Ransom notices with some amusement the man was shaking, a combination of fear and anger no doubt. “I wanted my share, what I was owed, what is my birthright!”

“What are you talking about?” Ransom narrowed his eyes.

“Your shit head father?”

“What about him? He’s been dead for fuckin’ decades….”

“He was my shit head father too!”

For the first time since the confrontation began, Ransom wavered. His gun lowered slightly, “he…you’re my…”

“Half-brother? Yeah, that’s right, he was fucking my mother, and he left her pregnant and penniless! You two got the big house, the private education, the family business…I got fuck all!”

“I…I had no idea.” Ransom shook his head.

“Neither did I until a few years back. But would it have made a difference?” Bryce scoffed.

Ransom hesitated for a moment, before he licked his lips, “you know, had you told me before all this…honestly? Yeah…yeah it would. I’d have done something…I mean…I was always closer to you than I was to my own twin!”

Ransom swallowed. This betrayal was hard to take. He’d always loved Bryce as a brother and had often wished he were his twin, not Steve. They’d been inseparable from the day they met, and Ransom had done everything he could to help Bryce. It had started with sharing sweets and toys, and in the end becoming his right hand man, paying him a wage he knew would set him up for life.

But all that…all that was crashing down around him.

He ran his hand over his face, groaning a little. “What a fuckin’ mess…”

“Ransom…” Bryce spotted the chink in the mob boss’ armour and jumped on it, “look, we can…I know I fucked up, but we can get through this.”

Ransom lowered his gun even more, and Langley let out a breath of relief, as Ransom looked at him.

“See…the thing is, Y/N.”

“What about her?” Bryce frowned.

“She’s my world. I killed my own twin because of what he did to her. And then I…I hurt her even more because of my anger and stupidity and I was so goddamned easily manipulated and twisted by what he did. I’ll never forgive myself for being so cruel and fucking weak.”

“But she’s forgiven-“

“And now I find out… all that was down to you and Walt.” Ransom finished, cutting Bryce off and the man stuttered.

“What, no, I-“

“Steve did what he did because he thought I killed his wife. Which, I suppose is understandable. I’d have done the same, well maybe not the exact same but I’d want revenge.” Ransom pondered for a moment and Langley waited, his entire body tense as he watched Ransom slowly raise the gun again. “Y/N has suffered the way she has because of Walt and your actions. You arranged the hit, you then let him think it was me. And for that…”

Ransom pulled the trigger, blowing a hole right through Langley’s eyes, exactly the same way he had done with Steve. He grimaced as, once more, bits of blood, bone and brain matter splattered across his face. This time they belonged to his half-brother.

The door to the room flew open and Carter bustled in, gun raises. He stopped dead as he looked from the smoking pistol in Ransom’s hand, to Langley, then back again, “boss…what-“

“He was in on it,” Ransom jerked out of his trance and turned to Carter. “With Walt.”

There was a moments pause and Carter let out a soft sigh, and Ransom saw the man’s eyes full with tears.

“I’m…I’m sorry none of this will bring Peggy back,” Ransom licked his lips, shaking his head a little, “I only hope you find comfort from knowing the men truly responsible are dead.”

Carter nodded and opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Ransom’s phone. He reached into his pocket and a smile spread across his face.

“Sweetheart?”

“Yeah, erm, I’m just on my way home.“ your voice was soothing, as it always was, and he took a deep breath.

“How was the spa?”

“Amazing…erm, do you mind if we just get pizza and a film tonight instead of going out? I…I just wanna curl up and relax now. Plus, our little bean seems to be doing the tango on my bladder…”

“Whatever you want.”

“Okay, have you finished your meetings?”

“Yeah,” Ransom glanced down at Langley’s body, and the mess in his office, “I just need to tidy up a couple of things then I’m done.

“Okay, well I’ll see you soon. We love you.”

“Love you both, too.”

He slipped the phone in his pocket and looked at Carter. He drew his shoulders back and wiped the forearm of the hand that still clutched the gun across his face, smearing the blood and gore over the sleeve of his shirt.

“Get someone to clean this up.” He instructed, his tone still softer than normal and Carter nodded.

“Boss.”

With that, Ransom stepped over the body of his dead half-brother and swept from the room, without so much as a glance back.

He was done looking over his shoulder. The only thing he cared about was you, and his baby.

And no one was ever going to threaten what the pair of you had ever again.

[queenimmadolla]

ooh, we are social this week, which i’m digging! please note this isn’t an attack on anyone, this is just me adding to the conversation. so on the status of the fandom being dead. it is. (and this is a lot, cause i can’t shut up when i get going)

we can like sugar coat it all we want and say people don’t venture out to read or maybe they’ve lost interest in writing, but fandoms usually go dead—and this term doesn’t necessarily mean like absolutely NO FICS—it just means it wasn’t as hype as it was when the last season dropped, and that’s a literal fact. it’s been two years lol. summer of ‘22, i could refresh the eddie munson x reader tag and like 16 new fics and blurbs and posts would load every time, there was just so much fucking content—it was glorious and positive because there was so many people, way too many for people to start whatever bullshit ended up happening (that occurred during the first phase of people losing interest).

now if i refresh when i dare venture out to the tags (and we’ll get to that next), it’s not as frequent. plain and simple. it’ll pick back up when the next season drops, it’ll be all hype, and then it’ll die down again as the years go by. hell, even the supernatural fandom isn’t as wild as it used to be, and they were around for YEARS.

this is coming from someone who’s been here and read (and when i was just a reader, i lived in those tags) a specific steve fic for like 5 years because there wasn’t a ton of stuff being produced, yes some, but not even to the amount that’s coming out now. and that’s again because of the YEARS long gap. and the proof of that is in stonathan. we all know the gay ships are some of the most popular amongst fandoms, and while stonathan was replaced with steddie essentially, it’s been a hot minute since stonathan owned the stranger things fandom because again, it died down. people moved onto other ships from other shows or outgrew fanfiction for the fandom. that ship was like the stranger things equivalent to destiel at one point and now it’s a literal ghost, proof that this fandom does die down and that’s fine. it’ll pick back up one last time, it’s not the end of the world.

now onto the tags, a lot of people here—i’ve noticed more so sexually explicit writers (and i love your work, thank you for your service) just think people are like lazy or something. but really? it’s because a lot of people don’t tag their fics correctly.

some people have dark kinks, some people have more niche kinks, more innocent, etc., that’s inevitable, people have their own tastes. but they won’t tag it. and that’s when people get vocal about kinks and not letting people post what they want and stuff. do you, just make sure you do your due diligence, because when you intentionally don’t, people are gonna speak up. you and i know very well all tumblr users have opinions.

and when they do tag their work, it’s usually after it’s caused a stir or several hours after its been up (this is a tactic for engagement purposes, it’s not tagged for a couple of hours and then magically it appears hours after people have seen it and spread it and it happens pretty routinely). this is also applies to REBLOGS. i’m not sure if people think that because the original was tagged, it’ll be the same when they reblog, but it’s not! in fact, a lot of people just slap the eddie x reader tag on it and send it out again.

i get it, whatever it is may be your thing, my thing, but that’s just irresponsible and it sucks the joy out of whatever moment people were in when they went into the general tag. i don’t think it may have triggered them to the point of a mental breakdown, though i guess that could happen, but it definitely could put them in a man, fuck this shit i’m gonna go do something else or read something else from some other fandom, blah blah blah, and that’s valid, too. running into something you filtered out through the tags because someone didn’t want to tag their work so they could get more engagement kills vibes.

it’s happened a ton of times with me and so now i don’t go searching, because i’ve encountered waaaaaaaay too many dead doves with no proper tags other than “smut”.

i don’t ever really leave the three tab thingies on tumblr mobile home screen, so now i just get whatever i see my mutuals reblog, or something with a tag i follow (another neat feature to utilize), but again, because some people dont care to tag their stuff appropriately, it’s not always something i can read or something i feel mentally safe reading.

i doubt, like i seriously doubt, people only want to read their mutuals’ stuff. like me, i will support my mutuals and i appreciate them dearly but like….its not enough lol, i LOVE to read and i’m not tryna use them to farm a bunch of writing i can read for myself, that’s just fucked so i’m always looking (as best as i can while trying to avoid other people’s hidden landmines so to speak, because if i happen to like someone’s fic to read, i go back and check to see the blog is now just ‘???’ for me 💀) for new stuff from new writers, writers i don’t know, etc. that fits what i want to read (please, no more white character sibling!reader recs for me, i think you guys are so sweet for tryna plug me with something you think i’ll like but that immediately takes me out of the reader insert, like i can’t imagine myself or someone that looks like me)

yes, you can say there are cliques here who only support each other, and we haven’t been blind to drama and whatever, but people can say the same about you and your group of friends here. it’s all viewpoint. everyone is a part of a clique or group unless they literally don’t talk to anyone.

that aside, i dont know how many times ive gotten on here and like begged for recs and have been desperate enough to jump back into the general x reader tag to search for something to read only to encounter those dead doves. i hate not being able to venture out of my little cave, but it’s what i have to limit myself to. after this last dead dove with no warning, its gonna be a hot damn minute til i try again but i guess the whole point of this is

PLEASE TAG YOUR STUFF APPROPRIATELY AT THE TIME OF POSTING IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BETTER.

[notnights]

You mentioned that years ago you felt just as miserable as you do now. Which means you've lived threw this before, and you will again.

Or atleast i really hope you do, you seem nice

The art you make and stuff you write is honestly beyond just hella awesome even the reblogs you make are just rad! (im bad at verbalizing this kind of stuff but i do appreciate you on my dash, im glad your here. But much more than that i appreciate the type of person you seem to be and the stuff you like)

I hope whatever is plagueing you washes away again as it did before, until then remember to take care of yourself please. Summertime is usually a tough time for people all over the world and we kind of forget we're like actual animals, Be your own zookeeper! Drink enough water and get plenty of sleep

I hope your day/night gets better man

The problem is several of it will never ever go away. It’s always with me most of it will always be with me no matter what. And that sucks. Hahah man that sucks. Sure some other things might get better but some others are always going to be there and will still be there when other problems arise again. And I constantly wonder if maybe I preformed some terrible deeds in a past life to get such a messy combination of problems. And every month seems like worse news comes up and who knows maybe if I had a break, maybe try and fix one of those things at a time things would get better but that’s literally impossible without how this stuff works.

I do feel like drawing and story telling is the only real value I have about myself but it’s not like viable compared to everything else wrong with me. It’s a skill that doesn’t effect or that I can even utilize in helping in any other things in my life currently other than I guess vent and make art. I draw so much it feels like such a byproduct I don’t even like post 40% of what I make because I either feel it’s unfinished or just not something people would be interested in (which is fine I draw for myself and mostly myself posting it or not is just a socialization thing more than anything else for me)

But it’s like that doesn’t help treat my illness, or help me figure out what’s wrong with my brain that makes it unable to drive a car, make enough money to treat me or move and get out of here, heaven forbid if my mother found out the type of stuff I was drawing, what she’d do should warrant her own stay at the psyche ward.

Sorry this is a lot to dump on a stranger a little anon I know you’re just trying to help and I do appreciate it I’m sorry I’m being so negative. I do appreciate small things like you liking stuff I reblog and do decide to share.

Yesterday I accidentally stayed up near 30 hours after a break down after reading a letter I received with sucky news. Then now just woke up after sleeping 19 hours and I’ll probably decide to sleep more what else I got to lose. But I still haven’t eaten. Even if I was given food right in front of me I don’t think I could stomach it I feel so emotionally awful.

[black-butler-meta]

Expanding on my last post about BOC…

Recently there was a post that was obviously related to what I recently wrote regarding the PTSD scene in Book of Circus. That person chose to make their own (not so) vague post rather than communicating directly via the ask box or a reblog, so I’m not going to reblog it because I’m guessing they don’t want to interact with me (totally fine, btw).

But I do want to make a new post to clarify what I apparently did not communicate correctly before, in case others are curious for a response.

First and foremost, I actually DO understand PTSD. I have a history of CSA and child abuse that persisted across multiple years, and it most definitely is an important part of who I am, and something I am still working through. So please refrain from making accusations about a stranger online just because you’re upset.

Now, about the post….

When I was describing the discomfort I felt between Sebastian and Ciel during the PTSD scene, I was not doing so as a generalization of “this is how their dynamic always is” and “their relationship can only be toxic/bad,” etc. I was only referring to that scene specifically. The discomfort I spoke of was referring to the viewer (which is subjective - I never said it wasn’t), not to the characters’ relationship.

It felt uncomfortable because of the contrast between Sebastian’s manipulative, predatory nature (which was very soothing and calming) and Ciel’s fragile mental state, emphasized by his regression in response to trauma. It’s about finding (as the viewer) Sebastian’s sensual actions arousing contrasted with Ciel’s obvious suffering that makes the scene have an underlying layer of unease. The dichotomy of arousal and discomfort would be there as well if Ciel were an adult, because the manipulation is the same. BUT, the discomfort is worsened because in this moment, Ciel’s behavior is more childlike than the way he usually is. It’s not to make Sebastian out as a pedophile/groomer, but to show Ciel at his most weakest, and Sebastian is taking that opportunity to push him over the edge into violence. Additionally, Ciel’s childness is also there to remind us that he’s not out of his trauma yet; that, in many ways, it’s still ongoing for him.

Of course not everyone has that reaction to the scene… maybe others find it protective, which I can also see those undertones, especially when Sebastian carries Ciel while fulfilling his orders, instead of simply leaving him on the floor by himself. Maybe there are those that find it romantic, a white night coming to save. I personally don’t, but if you do, then good for you! We can agree to disagree and leave it at that. I’m not here to cast moral judgment on others over fictional characters, and I’m not here to speak for everyone. These analyses are simply my own and so it’s about how the message comes across to me.

I had never said that Ciel didn’t find comfort in Sebastian. In fact, it’s the very reason that he finds comfort in him that Sebastian’s tender approach worked, and got Ciel to finally open his eyes and give him the orders that he wanted. But I did find the lip touch to be something that felt out of place, more the indulgence of a hungry demon inspecting his future meal rather than something done to console, and Ciel’s lack of reaction to it demonstrated how far gone he was in his panic attack. Yes, Ciel allows Sebastian to dress him, bathe him, carry him, etc.; but he also at times expresses boundaries either through body language (frowning, pulling back slightly) or verbal protest (e.g., when Sebastian tried to spoon feed him). Just because Ciel lets him care for him in some ways, doesn’t mean he’d give Sebastian a free pass to touch him in other, more intimate ways outside of his butler duties. That was why that moment felt unnerving.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say that their relationship is largely positive. I wouldn’t call it entirely negative, either. In actuality, I would describe it as complex. Sebastian, first and foremost, is a demon and his purpose is to cultivate Ciel’s soul. Yana herself has described him as elite trash, hyper-narcissistic, and that he enjoys seeing Ciel struggle. And it’s because of this characterization that it’s so interesting to see Sebastian slowly evolve into someone who does care. There are absolutely clues of him learning to “care” in his own weird way. He’s been shown to be protective, and will do kindnesses that he doesn’t have to do, for Ciel and others, and worry when Ciel is in danger that seems to go beyond losing his meal. These glimpses contrasted with scenes where his demon side really comes through is what makes him such an interesting character to begin with.

Yes, in a strange way Sebastian is helping Ciel heal, but it’s in a warped sort of way, like a broken bone that never gets set properly and heals wrong. Sebastian’s goal isn’t to truly heal Ciel; it’s to help him complete his vengeance and ripen his damaged soul in preparation for eating. And yes, he’s likely going to grow attached to it by the end of it, which will make the act that much more personal and meaningful if/when it does happen.

The entire thing is complicated, dark, beautiful, and yes, in some ways toxic. The discomfort is there (for the viewer - or at least some of us), and that’s okay. It’s literally a part of dark fantasy, and, if you want to go there, dark romance. It’s the moral ambiguity of decisions and motivations, that blurring of lines between good and evil, and finding comfort in darkness and violence. If that discomfort wasn’t there, then the story wouldn’t be what it is. It wouldn’t be Black Butler at all.

[laf-outloud]

https://www.tumblr.com/laf-outloud/711921005033127936

I'm not sure you’ll be interested in my reply to this, but I can’t send an ask to the original blog, so I hope you don’t mind if I write this to you. You were interested enough to reblogging the OG post, so I hope I’m not out of line here, or boring.

I had both similarities and differences from @prettydeaneyes when meeting the guys.

I like J2, but I am definitely Jared-leaning, especially after the prequel business. I was incredibly excited to meet Jared, while still also interested in meeting Jensen, just not as much.

In terms of M&Gs, I found Jared more tuned in and engaged. He is almost intense with how much he focuses on you. Jensen's had a different vibe, not as deep but still attentive, I guess. Jensen answered questions fairly thoughtfully, though I only really heard one tidbit of info that I found really interesting from him. There was a heller in the room enbarsssing herself, so she ate up valuable time in the meet with her BS, though. He was pretty engaging though and seemed okay with me giving him some cheek. But, for me, Jared’s M&G felt more intimate abd lighthearted with all of us joking about his 6 wounded warrior shirts that he’s worn everywhere, but also a little intimidating since it was my first.

For photo ops, I honestly felt like Jared was distracted when it was my turn. He started with his back to me and he was dancing, which was cute but made me feel off-balance and a bit awkward when he turned to face me, though he was my first J photo op. He gave me a very tight hug, which was great, but no little engagements like I’ve heard he’s done with others, so I felt a bit let down after accounts of others' experiences with him. In my Jensen solo, he was super engaging the first time. He had his charm dialed up to 11. So, I was surprised by enjoying his op more. In my J2 duo Ops, they were both fine with my requests and moved into position without question. I felt like both were pretty businesslike, though Jared cuddled into me more in the squish hug. They did hug tight.

I had two more days of photo ops with Jensen in one of the cons that Jared couldn’t attend, and the first day I found Jensen almost cold and walked away feeling like: F-it, I’m not going to be intimidated by this guy who can’t be pleasant when we are already disappointed by Jared’s absence. Honesty, it made me much more casual in my interactions with him after that. Still , the next day I had another op with him and he was friendly and we had to chat a minute to clarify my pose and he was great. So, I’ve had both better and worse solo op experiences with Jensen than Jared. Sadly, only one with Jared though, so it’s not a good sample size. I think I just had bad luck with Jared and he was distracted, while I think Jense is a bit more temperamental.

In autographs, in Toronto I found both Js to be a little disengaged though polite, though Jared seemed more distant (though this was the con where he teared up on stage and my autograph was after that on the Sunday , so he might have just been spent. We were soecicalky asked not to share overly emotional stories with either J as they were tired.). Jensen warmed a little by the end of our brief interaction. The second auto I had with Jensen he was friendly and I just kept it short, but it was one of my favorite auto interactions because it was just cute and I was not full of nerves.

To conclude, based on my exoerience and what I’ve read on,one, our own feelings and expectations have a decent role in how we end up percoevung the guys. However, I think Jensen can be very charming when he wants to, but he doesn’t always want to. Whereas Jared felt more real, but that also means he can’t hide it if he’s just spent. Ultimately bath guys are just human, but I truly think, in most cases, Jared engages more, just not "always" with me. I really hope he’s at the next aJIB because I wanted two con experiences to help me get a fuller impression of both guys.

No worries, anon! You're not out of line, or boring. It's always interesting to hear people's personal convention experiences (in the likely event that I'll never attend one.)

It's interesting the way you describe them because that's exactly how I imagine they are in person from everything else I've heard. When Jensen wants to be charming, it's a force of nature, and Jared wears his heart on his sleeve (no 'performance' so-to-say) so what you see is exactly what you get.

Thank you for sharing, and I really hope you get to increase your 'sample study' at the next JIB!

[capt-sievert]

Introducing myself (again)

I'm Arsen, I use He/Him pronouns

[I'm a minor]

Ask game I'm participating in:

I'm in no other site but here so if you see my stuff posted anywhere else notify me and report it

My stuff is 16+ so yeah

I'm a socialist and interested in:

• I have no mouth and I must scream by Harlan Ellison (book/videogame)

• kinda like Hazbin Hotel by Vizziepop too I guess (animated show)

•That's not my neighbor by Nacho Sama (videogame)

•1984 by George Orwell (book)

•Faith the unholy Trinity by airdorf (videogame) [kinda out of the fandom now eh]

•Wolfenstein by Bethesda (series of videogames)

•bread

•pigeons

•art

•ww2

•Barn owls

Not really into ships

⚠️All my art is referenced and "traced" by something on Pinterest. I'm still working on perfecting my own art style and slowly detaching myself from learning from tracing. I always add my reference under the cut. If I don't, please remind me to do so⚠️

This blog is a safe space! Any type of hate is not and will never be tolerated.

Do not interact if:

-conservative

-Pro life (anti abortion)

-Fascist

-Racist

-Antisemitic

-Islamophobe

-White supremacists

-Homophobic

-Transphobic

-maps (pedophiles)

-terfs

-zionist

-proship (as in like shipping adults with children and that kind of stuff. Toxic yaoi/Yuri is fine i guess I don't really care love loses anyway 👎)

-zoophile

-pro incest

Of overall a hater

Kinda suggestive topics are allowed (be civil though) but absolutely no nsfw

Tags I use to reblog and their meanings:

#Pretty!!/‼️ [And its variants]= nice stuff (art, pics, everything that makes me go :D)

#WOAH! [And its variants]= Holy shit, that's cool!

#Yooooo [and its variants]= HOLY SHIT THAT'S COOL AF!!

#same/#me= relatable things

#stirring the mix= talking about personal things/problems/problems with the platform.

#burned the dough= memes that I make. Most likely very unfunny ones

#vintage my beloved= self explanatory; I'm into vintage aesthetics (obviously not into vintage views)

#hehe [and its variants]= hehe funny

#Arsen's revolutionary rambles = left winged stuff

Credits for dividers:

@saradika-graphics

[dbacklot99]

Wednesday WIP Game

If you’re tagged, make a new post (don’t reblog this one) and share 1-2 sentences from your most recent unposted WIP(s) with zero context— Let your followers guess! (Edited to add: I’m not sure if we are supposed to guess via ask, or via reply? Either one is fine with me, but I realize I’m not sure what other people are expecting…)

Thanks to @adverbian for tagging me!

WIP #1 “I brought you something,” Shax smiled, holding out a bottle of whiskey. Crowley turned and looked suspiciously at her. “Is it my birthday?” Shax’s smile disappeared for a moment. “Birthday? You’re a demon, we don’t-“

WIP #2 Aziraphale would start sending Crowley off on more and more inane errands, driven by the unspeakable fear that it was safe for them to be together. Crowley would grow more and more irritated with each task, his own anxiety building every moment he was away that something bad was about to happen. Yet, when he walked back in the book shop, he felt no relief - he wanted to be there but something whispered that he could never belong here, it would never be his home.

Tagging: @wrengrif @mrscakeishere @mageofthepeople @vieux-yeux @aidaran-alha

[simcardiac-arrested]

Im trying to do one of those iterator ask blogs, do you have any tips? Especially for getting it off the ground? Since I’m just kinda stumped about how to be interesting and reel people in, as I supposed to post at certain times? And what kind of things should I post if I haven’t gotten any questions. I’m sorry if these are kind of odd questions lol. And a lot in advance! :)

i swear i replied to an ask with askblog tips before but i cant find itttttttttt Falls to the ground. so i’ll just answer this as it is then (i managed to ramble for a bit so i put it under the cut)

umm. i wouldn’t say i exactly. have advice. for getting your blog off the ground. Because if you ask me how my own askblog got so much attention i would say I dont know . the only reason i even started it was because someone in the tags said i should and the concept of an askblog was appealing to me So i did that. and if you go to the very beginning of the blog you will see that most of the asks are just from my friends asking either silly or serious stuff. so i guess on that front my word of advice is just …. go to your friends. and be like Dude you will never believe what just happened to me (made an askblog) and let them get interested in it. just the same circle of friends can circulate the askblog long enough to attract new people. probably ?

i mean i guess the thing i also did was reblog the intro post to my main. once. and then never again. i reblogged asks sometimes if i liked them or if they were funny but i mostly kept my main blog stuff and askblog stuff separate (i suppose i did at that point have mostly rain world fans as my following so me reblogging it to my main maybe made them interested) you absolutely do not need to post at certain times. i mean…. you Can get a schedule if you wanttt. but like it’s literally fine i just answer asks whenever and ball

another thing about asks is that. Asks Produce Asks. so to speak. because everytime you answer an ask you get at least 3 more for it. so as long as you keep answering asks you’ll keep getting asks, though sometimes people will also send you stuff even if you havent answered in a month or something. But yeah i guess what im trying to say for this uhh …. if you don’t get any asks at first either try and get your friends to ask some questions. or if not that then maybe ask yourself stuff ….??? i dont knowww but like i said when ppl see an answered asks they get motivated to send an ask of their own. so

umm if you havent gotten any questions in a while you can just post. whatever. it’s your askblog. you can lorepost or you can just post silly images relating to your iterator oc The world is your oyster man

some more general advice is to draw asks however you want. you don’t have to fully polish and color all of them, you can just color certain ones or hell never color any asks, you can even not draw at all because i know some people reply with just in-character text. either way i promise you at least Someone will be interested so. good luck ? i hope that helped at least a little bit

[grumpygreenwitch]

Fanfiction 13-14

HERE THERE BE SMUT. Originally posted 9/19/23. This is the only smut in the story, though. The rest is just story.

Buy me a Ko-fi? And please remember that reblogs are about the only way my stories get out there.

1-2-3 + 4-5 + 6-7-8-9-10 + 11-12 + 13-14 + 15-16 + 17-18-19 + 20-21 + 22-23 + 24-25 + 26-27

13

Connecticut proved to be exactly what Alyss expected of a domain ruled by an angel who’d earned a job as Kliman’s enforcer. Rook insisted on accompanying the van delivering the hard copies, not that Alyss needed them; worse, to the accountant’s perceptions, was that the other angel declared he would stay and receive Alyss’ final report alongside Kliman.

Alyss didn’t want to deliver that report. Not to Rook. Not to an angel that might well turn around and do the things he’d seen happen time and again in so many other places. Why couldn’t all angels be like Kliman? She was ruthless, but she was also kind. She was fair, never cruel for the sake of it. She had escaped the ennui that seemed to claim so many of their kind, which could only be sated with atrocity. Why couldn’t she be the rule, rather than the exception!

“She is the rule,” Jean insisted when he found his bird hemming and hawing, pacing and flailing in his little office. “Alyss, you’ve seen the worst that angelkind has to offer because they’re exactly the kind that can only trust an angelic accountant not to stab them in the back. They know you won’t betray their sins. They know you’re too true to yourself.”

The fretting angel made a high, impatient sound in response, unable to hold still. He only jerked to a halt when he turned and found the vampire suddenly in his path, looking up at him in surprise.

Jean caught Alyss’ shoulders and shook him lightly. “Sunflower. You can’t run away from every fight that finds you.”

“I absolutely can, and I absolutely will,” the angel replied stubbornly, then simply took that last step and leaned against Jean, startling the vampire. “He won’t be cruel?”

Jean felt then the immense weight of trust Alyss put on him, and saw the reason why, in those four words. Without knowing the details, the angel still knew Jean came from that world, had seen it, had lived in it, and had then escaped it. He trusted the vampire’s experience and judgment as he didn’t trust his own. “Kliman taught him, trained him. He lives by her code. He won’t be kind, but he will be fair.” He wound his arms around Alyss’s shoulders. “Don’t tell me you’re a coward, Alyss, I won’t believe you. I was there when the boat came, remember? Too late to lie to me.”

“Well, it’s not like Gevaun gave me much of a choice,” the accountant replied, his voice muffled against Jean’s chest. “And then I couldn’t leave without helping.”

Jean had to smile. Anyone could have left without helping; most would have, in fact. But his bird couldn’t even imagine doing so. The possibility just wasn’t one for Alyss. “Rogue bird.”

“Ugh, I’d rather sunflower,” Alyss declared primly, pulling away and sorting through the documents he meant to bring to the meeting, all but slamming things around. “Oh, fine. I guess.”

Jean, watching him, realized he hadn’t dealt with all that was bothering his bird just yet. “I’m getting to think you don’t like Rook. Personally, I mean.”

“Me? How could I not like him, with his perfect wings and his perfect biceps and his dreamy eyes and his dreamy hair -” As Alyss snapped out further and further details about the other angel, his tone increasingly acidic, Jean’s brows shot higher and higher up.

“Alyss.”

“- and he just fills those jeans so nicely, doesn’t he -”

“Alyss!” Jean caught one of the accountant’s hands and tugged him around, grinning. “Who are you comparing to him?”

“Me, obviously.”

“Well, that’s unfair to Rook.” He saw those sweet brown eyes fly open in surprise. “You don’t… Alyss, do you expect you’ll hear the things the staff have to say about you? Have you ever heard them talk about Rook around Rook?”

“No, I- Wait, what? About me? They don’t talk about me!”

“Endlessly.”

“They do not!”

“About your kindness, your eyes, so nice and sweet and honest. About your brain, the smartest angel they’ve ever heard of, even more than Kliman. About those shoulders that let you pull off a vertical take-off, man, those shoulders, and those wings like amber jewels, like fresh poured caramel -”

Alyss hastily put a hand over the vampire’s mouth, but the damage was done and he was going red to his ears. “You are… I don’t know what you are but you’re not nice!”

Jean caught the wrist of that hand and leaned back minutely, grinning. “Alright, then, I made it all up.” He offered the lie blatantly. “It’s not what they say about you, it’s what I think about you. Do you want me to tell you more?”

“No!” Alyss went, if possible, even redder. He pulled away in disbelief. “I don’t know which is worse!”

“But you’re not fussing over Rook anymore,” Jean pointed out lazily.

Alyss made irate strangling motions at him. The vampire sedately moved closer once again, reaching out to touch the fine-boned, flushed face of the angel. “You are nothing like him, Alyss. There is no comparison. If Rook fell today, a dozen like him would rise tomorrow. The Refuge breeds warriors, sunflower. It Makes warriors, like me. But it only has one accountant.”

Alyss leaned into the touch of those fingertips. “I’m fairly certain there’s none like you in the world, Jean,” he said. “Because if you were gone no one would replace you. Not to me.”

The vampire froze to those guileless words, to the equally guileless gaze that offered them. He had only meant to soothe Alyss, if only because he could actually use the truth to do so. But in return his sunflower was giving him his heart, right there, without his even asking. Before he knew what he’d done he was leaning forward and kissing Alyss as he’d been wanting to for far to long, the way he kissed him in his dreams, in his wildest imaginings. For the past few nights the angel had haunted him in ways no one had for nearly a century.

Alyss tipped his head up and welcomed the kiss with one of his own, with the taste of honey and sunlight and wisdom, and Jean knew he was in trouble. His hand slid into the silky hair of the angel as he tried hopelessly to sate himself. He couldn’t; he couldn’t get enough. He could have spent eternity kissing his sunflower, he realized, and it would never be enough. When Alyss’ hands came around him to cling to his shoulders Jean growled low and tangled his free hand around the angel’s waist, just below the wings, to draw him close, the amber feathers whispering as Alyss shifted them out of the way. The angel’s breath caught and stuttered when calloused fingers slid down along his cheek, over his throat, to the collar of his shirt. The wings shivered audibly.

Jean pulled away with a visible effort, his own breathing coming as if he’d just run down prey. He could feel his heart pounding in ways it hadn’t in centuries, old instincts he’d thought long lost to him rousing awake. Alyss was dimly aware he was shivering, his whole body stretching, straining towards the vampire, wanting him in ways he’d never thought he’d want anyone.

“You’re supposed,” Jean had to clear his throat, his voice was a predatory growl that betrayed his hunger, not that he hadn’t painted the broad strokes of it already on the kiss-bruised lips of the angel. Try as he might he couldn’t unwind his arm from around the angel. “You’re supposed to be meeting with Kliman and Rook.”

“I know.”

“Alyss -”

This time the angel moved forward before the vampire could finish his faint attempt at being responsible, and kissed him hungrily. Jean had been trying for self-control; Alyss had no interest in it. He wound his arms around the vampire’s neck and kissed him as he had in all his daydreams and restless nights, basking in the warmth of him, the scent of the predator laced with all those other things that made it uniquely Jean’s, the woods and the pine-scented aftershave. He heard and felt a snarl go through the powerful body that was suddenly crushed against him, felt those arms tighten around him, and their second kiss turned into a feral, ruthless demand that Jean couldn’t help but make and Alyss was entirely too willing to satisfy.

Jean wouldn’t have believed he had the willpower to pull away a second time but still he managed, gasping desperately for a breath that didn’t smell like libraries and books, honey and sunlight, because if he didn’t stop drowning in the angel he was going to start tearing Alyss’ clothing off him. With his teeth.

“Oh, no,” Alyss gasped breathlessly when he was left bereft.

“Oh, god,” was all Jean could croak back in reply. “Alyss, I’m not letting go if you do that again.”

“Promise?”

“Bird.” Jean warned, trying to sound stern and failing. He caught the angel’s face in his hands. “You have a meeting.”

“I hate the meeting.”

“I’m sure you do,” Jean had to agree. “But it’s still there, being all meeting-like.” When Alyss slumped against his chest with a groan of protest, Jean wound his arms around him. “Come on. Can I carry anything for you?”

“You’re coming?”

“Yeah. If they’re going to all be there harassing you with questions, I figure you ought to have someone you know is on your side.” He grinned at the hopeful look Alyss was giving him. “Someone to remind you you can’t kill Rook just because you don’t like his ass,” he teased.

He got such a prim, indignant look for it that he counted it worth it.

14

The meeting went well, if not quickly, running long enough that Chere sent dinner up to them in the conference room. Rook’s questions were painstaking and blunt, but as polite as the angel could make them, given he was being told both he and his staff had missed the actions of the occasional miscreant here and there. As with most everyone in Raphael’s territory, Kliman and her people left human affairs to humans, caring only for the vampiric and angelic populations and their sins. It was very late at night when the angel of Connecticut declared himself ‘appropriately informed’, at which point he insisted on returning to his home directly. Kliman, Gevaun and Lilah went with him to the open area surrounding the pond.

As soon as they were all out of the room, Alyss slumped on the table with a deflated sound. A moment later he heard a cup clack lightly on the polished slate and rosewood of the table, and smelled Chere’s unfathomably good hot cocoa. “I don’t know what he puts in it but it should be a crime to make cocoa without it,” he declared without looking up.

“I’m sure he’d agree,” Jean rumbled before crouching down next to him, frowning minutely. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m, yes. It’s always, I always get a little down when I finish a job. Even if I’m not really done, obviously.” Alyss straightened up and sipped at the warm drink. He stretched his wings out, one at a time. “That wasn’t terrible, was it?”

The vampire said nothing. He’d spent the entire meeting slouched against the wall directly behind Alyss, arms crossed, watching the space between those amber wings, listening to the angel rattle off numbers and math and explanations, taking quiet command of the meeting directly away from Rook, who’d looked utterly stunned. A great deal of the other angel’s good behavior, Jean knew, had come from having to humbly ask the accountant to further explain the absolute fifth-dimensional magic he’d worked on the Connecticut books.

It had been unexpected; the vampire had thought he’d have to force himself to remain in the room against all his nightmares and his ghosts calling in the presence of two known angelic warriors. But watching Alyss dominate the meeting with his calm, polite confidence, revealing a new gradient of his passion for his job, had made Rook’s presence moot to Jean’s instincts, and Kliman’s more than tolerable. In the light of Alyss’ presence his nightmares shrunk away. He felt like himself, though it was an uncertain, fragile sense of it, as if he’d found a few pieces of the enforcer he’d once been and managed to put them together at last. And he knew that it, too, came from Alyss. The angel wasn’t a warrior, and though he might know how to fight, he had no instinct for it. More than anyone, angel or vampire, he’d ever met, the accountant needed someone watching his back.

Watching backs was what Jean did best. Or it had been, once upon a time.

“I mean, the meeting was in another language, so what do I know,” he admitted with a lazy shrug.

Alyss grinned at him. “It was not.”

“So was. Pretty sure I even saw Kliman’s eyes cross at one point.”

Alyss nearly spit out his cocoa. “They did n- ! It’s just numbers!”

Jean straightened up, pleased to have chased away that exhausted, lost look, and offered his hands to the angel. Alyss came willingly, setting down the cup and moving right past those hands, into the vampire’s arms. Jean closed them around the accountant, just below the wings, and felt the simmering hunger he’d barely gotten under control at the beginning of the meeting threaten to roll to a froth once again - only for it to immediately settle down to a steady hum when Alyss simply wrapped his arms around the vampire and leaned against his chest with a deep sigh. “It went well,” Jean agreed.

“Thank you.” The words were a heartfelt murmur and they stood there, happy in the moment. “I need to fix the Maine books.”

“What, now?”

“No, I mean, yes but no. Soon. As soon as possible -”

“You need to rest.”

“But -!”

Jean kissed him, and every bit of Alyss’ urgency went to pieces. It was short, sweet, a taste of things to come, and when they parted the angel could barely catch his breath. “Oh, that’s not fair.”

Jean drew in a deep, deep breath through his teeth. “I’m going to see you to your room,” he told the angel. “And I’m going to kiss you goodnight. But if you invite me in, sunflower, you better know what you’re letting in. Because I’m not leaving if you do.”

“Promise?”

Jean had to smile at the breathless question. He stepped away, though it was much easier knowing that his angel wasn’t going to get away. They made their way through the quiet, darkened house and to the accountant’s room. At the door, before Jean could say anything, Alyss whipped around, leaned up and kissed Jean, swift and delicate, letting his teeth linger on the vampire’s lower lip before he stepped back, wings up and rustling quietly. “Won’t you come in?”

Some part of Jean was deeply amused. Most of him was busy tangling his arms around the angel’s waist, bodily picking him up and carrying him into the dark room while he kissed him, hungry and demanding and ferociously predatory. A faded memory made him kick the doors lightly shut behind him, but that was all the attention he was willing to spare for anything other than the angel in his arms.

Alyss squeaked in surprise to be so thoroughly manhandled, wings beating once at the suddenness of it all before he realized what had happened. He yielded to the kiss, hands sliding through the vampire’s dark, curling hair, then reaching down to pluck blindly at the collar of the knit turtleneck.

Jean suddenly froze. Somehow in all his hunger, in all his imagining this moment, the part about clothes had never come up. Somewhere inside him his nightmares threatened to rise up, laughing at him.

“Jean.” Gentle hands caught the vampire’s face and tilted it down. Alyss’ deep brown gaze stared at him without fear, without pity, but with a deep well of empathy that left the vampire breathless. “You don’t have to.”

Jean dropped his forehead against Alyss’s, his breathing ragged for entirely different reasons than the angel and the passion of the moment.

“I won’t ask questions. You know I won’t.” The angel wrapped his arms, and then his wings, around the vampire. “All I want is you, now. Not you, then. Not you, tomorrow. You.” He brushed his fingers over those stone-carved features. “Here and now.”

“I want to tell you.” Jean crushed the angel to him. “God, I want to tell you, but it won’t come out.”

Alyss merely kissed, breeze-light, the vampire’s mouth. “Then I will wait until it can. And I will listen when you’re ready.”

Jean sank into that kiss, one hand cradling the angel’s face. “There’s been good things,” he murmured, “but you’re the best so far.” A sunny, surprised smile broke over Alyss’ face, and there was his sunflower in full bloom, lighting up the dark. Jean smiled back, his memories gone silent. “C'mere, sunflower.” Jean slid his hands down the angel’s back, found the buttons where the shirt secured under the wings, and fumbled with them until Alyss laughed, lifted one wing and turned partially. “I will learn how to do this,” the vampire muttered.

“I’ll give you every chance you want,” Alyss said simply.

Jean paused at the implication that he might have more than one night, more than one chance. That he might just be able to say 'my bird’, not just think it. He pulled off Alyss’ shirt and caught him again, dragging him close for a kiss that trailed down the line of the angel’s jaw, along his throat and down his chest. Every time his mouth touched the pale skin Alyss gasped as if every contact were surprising and delightful. His cry when the vampire’s sharp fangs grazed and held a nipple was birdsong, and Jean felt his skin turn to goosebumps. “Oh, I like that sound,” he declared, his voice gone rough with his hunger for the angel, already wanting to draw more of those little cries from him. He picked Alyss up effortlessly, meaning to take him to the bed, and nearly forgot what he was doing when the angel wrapped his legs around the vampire’s hips, pressing his groin to the hard and urgent heat uncomfortably constricted in Jean’s pants.

Alyss clung with every limb that could to his vampire, pausing only when Jean froze and growled, a low and inhuman sound, his arms tightening abruptly, possessively around the angel. He pulled an arm back and tipped the vampire’s head up by the chin, kissing the stark profile in the dark. “You got me up here,” he pointed out. “I’m guessing you had a reason.”

Jean had to laugh, a short and very surprised sound. “You sang and I forgot what I was doing, sunflower,” he replied, turning to bring them both to the bed, settling Alyss down, the amber wings sprawling and flowing on either side like gleaming waterfalls. There, at last, he relaxed enough to merely look at Alyss and enjoy the sight of him, the scent of the angel, the gift of his presence. “God, Alyss. How can someone know you and not love you,” he said very quietly.

Alyss felt his face grow warm. Before he could answer or protest, Jean was kissing him again, and all he could do was run his fingers through the vampire’s tousled hair. He didn’t mind not touching Jean’s skin; it would be a gift when it came, and if it took centuries, well, what was time to an immortal? But as the vampire’s mouth measure every bit of him that was bare, and Jean’s hands worked on removing the angel’s pants to expand that territory, a very obvious lack jumped out. “You’re not biting me.”

Jean stopped, confused for one brief moment before he realized what Alyss actually meant. He shifted so he could rest his weight on one arm, the other still fussing and fiddling at the zipper and buttons of the angel’s slacks. “I’m not going hungry, Alyss,” he remarked, amused, tugging lightly on a few wisps of dark, fine hair. “Kliman would never. And Chere would die of embarrassment.”

“As if that were the problem,” Alyss muttered, catching that hand and kissing the cup of it. “You’re a vampire, Jean.”

“Yes?”

“So be a vampire. You can’t hurt me.”

“Me not hurting you is not the same as you enjoying it, Alyss.” Jean saw the angel register that and grow deeply thoughtful, and felt charmed all over again that his words would be given so much weight.

“True,” Alyss agreed at last. “But how will I know if I enjoy it without trying it?”

Jean had to laugh a little. “Fair. But you will tell me if I should stop?”

“Yes.”

Jean went back to kissing the angel’s leanly muscled chest, a distraction while he fought Alyss’ pants to a surrender, finally. How could it be so easy to put on his own clothing, but nearly impossible to take the exact same thing off someone else? He noticed that there was no hair to the pale skin, but plenty of muscle hiding under it, as befitted someone who traveled under his own power so much. “Didn’t any of your suitors ever bite you?”

“No. I didn’t even sleep with most of them,” Alyss informed him breathlessly before his voice dropped to an aggrieved mutter. “Never heard the end of that, either.”

Jean grinned. “They won’t approve of me, I imagine.”

'They don’t need to approve of you. I’m the only one who gets a say in the matt- ah!“

Jean fastened his teeth on the angel’s hip as he pulled the last bit of clothing off Alyss. He didn’t need to be told that the angel enjoyed the sharp, tiny sting of pain; the way his body arched up, hips bucking, told the vampire all he needed to know without a word having to be said. He knelt over Alyss and ran his teeth over the angel’s stomach, lingering wherever a sharp edge found muscle, glorying in the little sounds his touch drew from the accountant. He trailed his mouth further down, found a lingering trail of hair. And paused. "Alyss, do you -”

“No, I don’t dye my hair, yes, my mother’s a redhead, no, the curtains don’t match the drapes, Jean, you keep stopping!” The words came out in a breathless, plaintive rush.

The vampire leaned his forehead against Alyss’ stomach and started laughing until he couldn’t breathe. A pillow was acquired and swatted against his head, but still he couldn’t get away from the simple, glorious delight of the moment. He bent down lower and kissed soundly that nest of dark auburn hair before sliding off the bed.

“You said you wouldn’t leave!” Alyss protested, alarmed.

“I’m not,” Jean assured him, heading into the bathroom and turning on a light. “I’m counting on Chere being a very dedicated matchmaker, that’s all.” He opened drawers and cabinets until he found what he was looking for. “Which he is,” he said mostly to himself as he took the tools so thoughtfully provided. He filled a night glass with water and grabbed a towel, and turned off the light. He set everything down on the nightstand, calm and sure, fairly certain he was hiding well the memories rising inside him and trying to choke him once again.

Or he’d thought so. Until Alyss sat up on the bed and wound his arms around the vampire’s waist. “Are you sure you want to do this?” He looked up at Jean.

“Sunflower, more than anything,” the vampire replied, sliding his hands between those wings and feeling the warmth of them on his skin, the fine down at the roots against his fingertips.

“Because I’m in no hurry,” Alyss pointed out. “Well, I am, but not at the cost of you.” Jean smiled, even if it was faltering and faint, and Alyss drew hope from the gesture. “We could just sleep.”

“No. I’m not letting this chance slip through my fingers just because I’m too stupid to shed the stone around my neck that’s my past- ” Jean caught his breath; Alyss had found his hands and dragged them forward, leaning into them.

“Don’t be mean to that younger you,” the angel whispered. “He didn’t know all the things you know now. You were kind to the babies, that night by the marsh. Be kind to yourself.” His hands found the buckle of the vampire’s belt. “May I?”

“Yes.” Jean could barely breathe.

“And you will tell me if I should stop?”

Jean’s head dropped, his shoulders sagging. In that simple question, a mirror of his own, Jean saw himself safe in the angel’s care as he wanted to keep Alyss safe in his own. “Yes.”

The angel undid the buckle, argued with the brass button and zipper of the old, faded jeans. When he brushed his fingers over the straining, heated erection, the vampire, his vampire, let out a strangled, hungry hiss that made Alyss’ feathers fluff and resettle. He leaned forward and kissed the thin fabric, and felt Jean’s hands clutch onto his shoulders with a stuttering little gasp. “Ah, let me guess, you thought you were going to seduce me,” he murmured, removing that last barrier with one hand, the other cradling the vampire’s cock so its freedom didn’t come too abruptly. He left that hand there, fingers brushing casually back and forth over the sensitive, thin skin, glorying in the feel of Jean’s pulse under his fingertips.

“Yes,” Jean managed to strangle out.

“And forgot I’m the son of two angels who live and breathe this sort of thing.” Alyss leaned close and touched the tip of his tongue to the tip of that cock, eyes closing in pleasure to the faint salt taste of the slickness beginning to bead there.

“Oh, god… Yeah, I did.” Jean nearly choked trying to get the words out, but he was having trouble breathing to begin with. He forgot how to do so altogether when Alyss shifted forward just enough and licked the whole length of him, root to tip, with such languid, unhurried delight that Jean couldn’t see, or hear, or basically exist beyond that exquisite touch. One hand caught onto the bed’s headboard and the good, ancient oak creaked under his grip.

“Mm.” Alyss slipped the clothing just far enough out of the way that he could brush his fingers over the curly, dark hair surrounding Jean’s cock. His fingertips wound up, along the trail of hair he’d admired once before, the first time he’d met the vampire. He felt muscles go rigid under his touch and smiled for a moment, leaning down to lick the crown of that cock before taking its head in his mouth.

Words burst out of Jean’s mouth, but for once they were in a language Alyss couldn’t understand. The vampire’s free hand curled around the back of Alyss’ neck and the angel’s mouth curled into a smile. Without being urged, he went where Jean wanted him, by slow measures taking more and more of that cock in his mouth, one hand resting lightly on the vampire’s stomach while the other slipped between Jean’s legs and squeezed gently at the fleshy pouch there.

Jean felt his legs try to go out from under him at the onslaught of delicious intimacy; he staggered minutely, trying to brace his traitorous knees into compliance. But Alyss chose that moment to draw him deep into his mouth and swallow, and the pull and squeeze of the angel’s throat made the vampire’s voice escape in a feral sound through gritted teeth, his knees giving him up to gravity without shame. He clung to the bed and forced his muscles to lock in place. “Alyss, wait -” The hand that wasn’t squeezing thought and sense out of him slid from his stomach over to grip one hip, and Jean moaned; his angel was, apparently, not in a mood to wait. “Alyss, my legs don’t want to work.”

Alyss pulled away, slowly; teeth grazed over the thin skin, and his tongue flicked over the tip. Then he looked up at the panting vampire. “I have no idea what you’re telling me, but it sounds important. Should I stop?”

Belatedly, astonished, Jean realized he’d reverted to talking in the patois of his younger, human years. “You,” he began, struggling for a moment to even remember English. He had to swallow when the word came out an unintelligible croak. “You have knocked the brain right out of me, Alyss. And my legs are about to follow. Have mercy on my dignity.”

Alyss beamed up at him. “Come join me, then,” he invited, and wriggled backwards on the bed, his wings lifting and dropping along the opposite side.

All Jean saw, all he could hear, all he could think of, was that cheerfully tendered invitation. He was out of his boots before he even knew what he’d done, kicking off his pants and anything else that might get in the way. He crawled onto the bed and rocked back on his knees, catching at the hem of his sweater -

The memories hit at the same time that Alyss’ hands caught onto his and stopped him. The angel might as well have caught his nightmare and strangled it before it could bloom with that simple gesture, only to further compound his defense of the vampire with three simple words. “Leave it on.”

Jean leaned forward and Alyss met him halfway, and they kissed slowly, as if with that one act, that one sentence, the angel had at last reminded his vampire that they were immortal, that they had forever. Slow and sure, Jean drove Alyss back onto the bed, setting kisses along the angel’s throat, no less hungry for all that they were no longer filled with urgency. He measured every inch of his bird’s body with his mouth, with his hands, teeth lingering over each dark nipple. He licked his way down Alyss’ chest and over his stomach. There, with the angel trembling under his fingers, he bit him just hard enough to break skin. Alyss gasped, one hand closing a white-knuckled grip on the bedding, the other tangled up with Jean’s. The vampire licked the beads there and growled, low, inhuman, instantly drunk. To the vampire Alyss tasted like he smelled, of sunlight and honey, of summer, of libraries, of those ancient books he’d been forbidden to touch even while he longed for them, the craved-for scent of parchment, of ink, or leather bindings. Of knowledge and wisdom. He licked again and Alyss arched up off the bed, chasing after his mouth, his own erection twitching restlessly against the vampire’s stomach. Jean grinned. “So we like biting?”

“Oh, yes, very much, yes, thank you.” The angel’s hasty, panting reply made Jean grin.

“Then let’s go for keeps,” Jean said, leaned close and bit the spot just above the edge of that patch of auburn, curly hair. The angel’s taste filled his mouth and overwhelmed his senses. Alyss cried out at a sudden surge of pleasure, and ground restlessly against Jean, leaving the vampire to grit his teeth against a feral urge to simply rut him on the spot. Instead he kissed the bite, his tongue lingering to heal the tiny marks, before he leaned forward to try and catch the lube.

It was a mistake. It put his chest within easy range of the riled-up angel underneath him, and a moment later Jean had to cling to the headboard with a startled, hungry sound when a warm mouth reached up, not even caring about the sweater he was still wearing, closed over one of his nipples and bit him. “Bird!”

Alyss laughed low. Even though he’d caught mostly fabric, his daring got him rewarded with a hot mouth against the pulse on his throat, teeth skating over the skin, tongue chasing after them to lap up the thin beads of blood and mend the flesh. “I like it. Do you?”

“Yes.” Jean tried again to grab for the little bottle, finally found it and reeled himself back to kiss that clever mouth. “Getting brave, aren’t you.”

“Oh, no, not me.” The angel sprawled on the bed, the only light on him the dim glow of the night outside the windows, and he looked beyond enthralling to Jean. “I’m only brave when you’re close. I think you might be my courage.”

Jean forgot he was rolling the bottle between his hands, getting it warm. “Well,” he said at last, “just as well I don’t have plans to go anywhere.” Everything the vampire had learned, everything he knew and everything he’d dreamed, all that he was, he applied to that moment, to the angel in bed with him, until Alyss was gasping in hoarse little cries, until those glorious wings were battering the gloom around them in frantic, chaotic beats. His mouth touched every last curve of that pale body, leaving welts in some places, banishing them in others. Fingers slicked with lube left the angel arched up, breathlessly pleading for more, for release, for anything the vampire would give him. In the end it was more than Jean could stand, that steady, lilting, delighted song from his angel. He covered Alyss’ body with his own, kissing those pleading lips and slowly, oh so carefully pressing into him. His world became nothing but his bird, his sunflower, writhing and eager beneath him, hands clinging to the vampire’s shoulder and that restless mouth pressing harried kisses to Jean’s mouth, his neck, the line of his jaw.

When Jean, overwhelmed by pleasure and by the sheer love in those simple gestures, dropped his head to rest against the angel’s chest, Alyss tangled his hands in the vampire’s curling hair and bared his throat and chest to him with a barely whispered plea. “Please, please, give me more.”

It was more than Jean had ever hoped for, or expected. The warmth around his cock, the press of heat and muscle welcoming him, the angel’s scent like breath in his lungs, the taste of Alyss in his mouth, fire through his veins. Those arms wound around him, refusing to relinquish him, and the wings, a sea of sunset and amber feathers for him to drown in. He pressed himself to the root into Alyss, and the sensation tore a wordless sound out of him, half snarl and half whine. His hips moved entirely outside of his control at that point, slow and sure, in measured motions that made both him and his angel sing with the flood of sensations. “You,” the vampire breathed. Only the self-control he’d learned across the centuries of his battered lifetime kept him from simply losing himself, right there and then, to climax, but more than anything he wanted to usher his angel there first. He wanted Alyss to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that someone cared for him beyond all others in the world.

That he was not an accident.

That someone would come looking for him.

That he was priceless.

He rocked, watching those fine features get lost to pleasure, goosebumps rippling through his skin with every desperately hungry little sound from the angel. “You are everything good, Alyss,” he gasped.

Alyss clung to the vampire, hands curled into fists on the fabric of the sweater, unable to speak, unable to even think of words. For once his ever-restless mind was silent, reduced to a jumble of exquisite sensation. He had met so many people, angels and vampires and even the occasional human, all of them intent on seducing him, owning him; none of them had wrapped him in the profound sense of devotion, of admiration that Jean offered with his touch, with his gaze, with the easy warmth of his words and his actions. To everyone else Alyss was something vaguely valuable, a showpiece.

To Jean he was everything, treasure, friend, lodestone. No one had ever looked at him like the vampire did. No one had touched him with such utter hunger, with so much care. The amber wings beat at the dark and he rocked in time with Jean, desperate for more, but the vampire would not budge from that slow, ruthless rhythm that seemed to drive him right to Alyss’ soul every time. The angel tried to protest, to demand more, but Jean’s words left him even more breathless than the sex.

And then Jean shifted, bracing a hand into the bed, and when he thrust again Alyss shattered with a high, eager cry. Climax swept over him and swept him away, all that he was except the truth of him that only Jean had seen, the angel, glorious and absolute like an autumn sunrise. He felt more than hear the vampire snarl; Alyss breathed out his name, felt that hard mouth sweep over his, and in the midst of the kiss the angel felt the heat of Jean’s orgasm spill into him, felt fangs sink into his shoulder and cried out in mingled pleasure and pain, his own ecstasy hitting another peak.

There was nothing but pleasure, nothing but each other. When Jean finally stopped, arms shaking to hold him up above the angel, Alyss hissed breathlessly and dragged him down, arms and legs tangled around the man. He felt the vampire tense up and then go limp, an arm slipping beneath Alyss’ head, the other curling a hand over his cheek so he could kiss him, slow and hungry. The amber plumage rippled when Alyss tasted his blood in Jean’s mouth.

They laid there, sated and willingly lost in one another, for a long timeless moment, until sleep claimed them in the safety of each other’s touch.

[iceyrukia]

I understand the sentiment of this post and everything but I think that ultimately the responsibility lies in the users themselves around here in curating their own online experiences. Blacklisting tags and keywords should help and also maybe if some radfem stuff is too heavy in general then those users should make another account where they could just reblog lighthearted stuff. Personally I don’t like policing what people post on here since a lot of women are in different stages and have different ways in engaging with feminism.

And I’m only speaking for myself here, but as depressing as engaging with some of this stuff is, I think it was necessary for my “peaking” in many ways whether it be tra stuff or liberal feminism since I *personally* think that part of the the reason that mainstream feminism lost its bite is because a lot of women probably felt that we were living in some sorta of post-patriarchal world. It’s to the point where so many women stopped paying attention to the terrible, unforgivable ways that men *are* treating women. I think that not turning away and constantly reminded of what men were doing daily was integral in undoing a lot of patriarchal orientated ways of thinking. It was necessary because when you’re constantly being fed with the opposite, there’s this need to combat that with a sort of reality check I guess ( this being men’s misogyny).

In my process there were highs and lows, days where I was doomscrolling and honestly at that point I should off distracted myself with other things, which I eventually did!!! So I guess it was a learning lesson for me since I wasn’t used to being exposed to feminists who actually really paid attention to the awful things men were doing. But even with all this I still think that because I got to the point where I was finally very fixed and understood how men subtly act misogynistic and how that leads to very violent acts + that practically many men act this way, I could now comfortably step away and watch other lighthearted stuff without defanging my mentality and tolerance towards everyday misogyny. And I’m not suggesting this is a necessary right of passage for everyone but I guess I hit a sweet spot where I am more composed in the face of male depravity and at the very least find comfort that I saved myself - all because I was exposed to a lot of harsh realities.

So in the end I think that for women around these spaces there should be encouragement for newcomers to take breaks if they feel overwhelmed, but I can’t exactly say that stopping the focus,monitoring, awareness and documentation of mens’ misogyny is gonna put us in a “better” place as a collective. A lot of people are distracted with their own lives and aren’t activists and that’s okay, if individual women save themselves and spreads knowledge about feminism + examples of men’s misogyny, I think that’s fine for the time being since most people are online focused anyways and that’s not gonna go away anytime soon. So when it comes to being exposed to unpleasant things, I think it’s up to individuals to learn their limits.

anyways ……most posts here ( tumblr) are just screenshots of male depravity from other sites and there isn’t really an algorithm like on other sites or a manosphere on here. People can nearly curate what they see here at any point they want.