#I really would rather her take three years to write the next book

[frizzle-mcshizzle]

📖

📖: If you had to remove one book from the series, which would you choose?

ive talked about this before but Unraveled.

it's such an obvious cash grab, if you're writing a long series you cannot switch POV ten books in and write a .5 book that's not how it's supposed to work. its bad writing. she's obviously stretching out the series to make money, it feels like it's gonna be a plotless book with maybe one or two plot points that really don't need to be in a separate book. I genuinely feel like she's actually gone down in the target age. because originally while said 8 to 12, the first book had children being kidnapped and tortured and addressed grief and adoption in like a genuine heartfelt way. it felt more like a book for 12-14yos. with what being posted about unraveled it really feels like a book for middle schoolers which I understand is the official target age of the series but it wasn't always like that, a good children's book can be enjoyed by adults, and kotlc is no longer like that.

on top of that the series has been going down in quality since nightfall. she had a chance to save it with Stellarlune, because everyone was cutting her slack for having babies. but it just got worse. The thing is she's a genuinely good writer you can see that in the first four books which is why I'm so disappointed in where the series is going.

[helaintoloki]

Can I request something with Five Hargreeves where Five and Lilia gets back to their family after the 7 years (nothing romantic happened between them, just purely platonic), and when he sees the reader for the first time after almost loosing so much hope in seeing her again, he just can’t help but latch onto her and never let go, kissing her all over cause he finally gets to see the love of his life again :,D

a/n: ty for sending in this request anon i really enjoyed writing it <3 this is basically the “good ending” of the subway incident

warnings: fluff, mentions of five and lila but in a platonic way not the bad way

His lungs feel like they’re on fire as Five pushes himself to continue his sprint to your apartment. It’s been seven years without you, and after almost losing hope of ever seeing you again, all he wanted now was to have you in his arms as proof that he truly was back in his own timeline.

He never should have listened to Lila when she insisted on traveling the subway system in search of a solution to the Cleanse, but he had been desperate to find a way to keep you and his family safe no matter the cost. He didn’t mind having to eat subway rats and sleep in flimsily sleeping bags on dirty platforms for your sake, but with no end in sight the entire thing began to seem futile. What good was putting himself through torture if he could never go back home to you?

Thus, when he found the journal that detailed the way back home, Five did not hesitate to jump on the next subway car and return back to his own timeline. He didn’t feel sorry for practically shoving Lila out of the way as soon as the doors opened, and he didn’t waste a second waiting for her to follow before he was booking it out of the station and down the streets to your apartment. While it would have been faster to just jump there, he didn’t want to risk accidentally placing himself right back where he started, and he didn’t have the patience to wait for Lila to find a car and drop him off herself. Seeing you could not wait, and so he ran.

Though Five has experienced seven painful years of being stuck with Lila in the subway, only four hours have passed since you last spoke to him on the phone to discuss your evening plans. He was meant to be at your apartment thirty minutes ago so you could enjoy a lovely dinner at a nice restaurant, and yet here you were sitting painfully board at your kitchen island watching the minutes tick by. You knew he wasn’t exactly keen on eating out when he’d rather stay at home and spend quality time with you, but surely he wouldn’t stoop so low as to miss your date entirely.

“Screw this,” you huff in indigence as you snatch your keys from the counter and grab your previously discarded purse from its spot on the couch. “He’ll just have to meet me there.”

After putting on your coat, you fling the door open only to met with the sight of a breathless Five, his fist raised in the air as if he was about to knock before you beat him to it. He looks completely disheveled with his mussed up hair and wrinkled suit, his eyes blown wide as he swallows down a big gulp of air and takes in your features. You look more beautiful than he ever thought possible, and he can’t believe that he’s really here standing in front of you after being trapped in a time travel hellscape for seven years with his idiot brother’s idiot wife.

“Five?” You utter gently, brows furrowed in confusion and concern as you reach out to place a gentle hand upon his cheek. He’s warm to the touch, most likely a side effect from having sprinted for three blocks, but it worries you nonetheless. He nearly melts into your palm as his eyes flutter shut in contentment at the feel of your skin against his own. He’s missed this, and he’s missed you. “Where have you been, I was just about to leave without you. You okay?”

You jump at his sudden movement when Five practically throws himself into your arms. You lose your footing and tumble back into your apartment, and it takes you a moment to process what’s happening before you tightly return the embrace. You know Five loves you, but he’s never been so forward with affection like this, so his behavior takes you by surprise.

“Sweetheart, I’ve never been better,” he breathes out in relief as he takes in your warmth and your smell and your touch and everything good about you. He never thought he could miss anyone as much as he missed you, and Five swore in that moment he’d never take you for granted again.

“Are you sure you’re really my Five and not a total stranger?” You question teasingly, poking fun at his uncharacteristically tender behavior. While normally you would be met with a biting and sarcastic response in return, you are instead given a passionate kiss as he cups your face in his hands and desperately pulls you closer to him. Your startled gasp is swallowed by his lips as he deepens the kiss and pushes you further into the apartment before shutting the door with his foot.

“Five,” you manage to breathe out after he pulls away for air, your face hot and your mind frazzled as you struggle to comprehend the sequence of events that have just occurred. “Five, we’re going to be late.”

“I couldn’t care less,” he replies with a faint smile, reaching out to carefully tuck your hair behind your ear. “I missed you.”

“Missed me?” You repeat in confusion. “You saw me this morning. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’ll explain everything in time,” he assures you carefully, “but right now I just want to enjoy this moment with you.”

With a faint smile gracing your lips, you know you can’t argue with that. You probably will miss your dinner reservations, but none of that matters as Five pulls you in close and showers you with seven years worth of pent-up affection.

You could really get used to this side of him.

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

Sugar & Spicy Books Chapter 1

Summary:  Y/N is an accomplished writer who is newly divorced, and out of fear of the unknown, moves back to her small hometown she swore she’d never come back to.  She comes across her best friend that never left, who helps her out of a tough spot.  Will old feelings arise?  Or is she just too big for such a small place now?

Warnings:  language, smut

Next chapter

“And with all that said, you are now officially divorced,” the judge announced.

Y/N sighed heavily, closing her eyes.  The relief that flooded through her made her feel like she was floating, her heart soaring at the freedom it felt.  She opened her eyes and smiled as she stood and hugged her divorce lawyer, then started gathering her things.

“I guess that’s it,” Raphael, her now ex-husband, said as he sidled up to her.

“That’s it,” Y/N nodded, barely sparing him a glance.

“So um…everything is set up for you at the house.  All my things are out, and I got your car detailed as a, you know, sign of no ill will–”

“Raf, it’s okay if we don’t speak.  I’d rather we never spoke again,” Y/N said, finally facing him.  They looked each other over one last time before Y/N gave him a small smile.  “Goodbye,” she nodded at him, then walked out of the courtroom.

***

New York City felt too big.  The house was too big.  The car was too big.  Y/N felt like she was shrinking inside herself as she walked the too-quiet rooms of the brownstone.  She and Raf had never had any children, although he had pushed her many times over the years, sometimes too far.  But Y/N had been focused on her writing career, and not having children had made the divorce so much easier.  

“Y/N Y/L/N?  Oh my god it’s really you!  Can I get an autograph?” A woman approached her in the supermarket, smiling widely and slightly jumping as she rushed up to Y/N.

“Oh, um, yes,” Y/N stammered, taking the notebook and pen the woman shoved in her face and signing it.

“Could I get a picture?  The girls in my book club won’t believe it!”

“Sure,” Y/N smiled tightly, then tried to look pleasant as the woman wrapped an arm around her and pulled her in too close, smiling up at the phone raised high in her hand.

“Oh thank you!”  

Y/N managed to slink away from the awkward conversation that was about to ensue and quickly finished her shopping before running back home.  Her career had been successful, earning the top spot three times on the New York Times Best Sellers list, as well as book tours, big sequel book deals, and she was even in talks for one of her first books to become a movie.  The books were what would be considered “spicy” or “dark romance.”  She had no experience in actually having any spicy or dark romance in her real life.  Raf had been extremely simple in the bedroom, and part of their divorce stemmed from his insecurity about her stories.  

Six weeks after her divorce she had had enough.  She sold the brownstone, everything of value in it, the fancy car, and bought the car of her dreams:  a 1967 Volkswagen Beetle.  It was something she had always wanted, but seemed impractical or Raf would always talk her out of it.  She loaded what little she had left into the little light blue car and headed to Woodstock, Vermont.

Y/N had grown up in Woodstock.  It was a very small but scenic town that thrived mostly on tourism because of its quaint, old America charm, and access to nearby hills that made for great snow sports.  When she was 18 she had earned a full ride scholarship to NYU and had run from it as fast as she could.  It was just too small, too stifling, but now as she was dealing with how big the world felt after her divorce, she ran back home in fear and trepidation of what to do next.  

As she reached the city limits she heard the Beetle make a strange puttering sound.  “Oh no, come on, B!” she groaned as the car started to shake and struggle.  “So much for ‘it’s in tip top condition,’” she griped, pulling off the main street in town toward the first mechanic shop she saw.  The Beetle sputtered to a stop and let out a high pitched whine as she turned off the engine.  She sighed and got out of the car, kicking the tire before heading towards the shop door.  A bell tinkled when she swung it open and she looked around at the shop’s front desk and waiting area.  It was small, utilitarian, and very tidy.  In the corner she was surprised to see a small play area for children that had a number of children’s books, a small table and chair, some coloring books and coloring pencils, and a little tea set on the table.

She smiled at the set up and walked over to the front desk.  There was no one there and she looked around until she saw a doorbell button on the side of the desk with a small note taped to the desk countertop that read, “Press for Service.”  Y/N pressed it and heard a doorbell ring noise from the shop behind the door beyond the desk.

“Coming!” she heard a male voice yell.

Y/N waited, looking around the room again until the door swung open.  “Hey there, sorry I was working on something, what can I–”  Y/N gasped when she saw who it was, and his wide eyes and open mouth matched hers.  “Y/N?” he whispered.

“Bucky?” she whispered back.

Bucky’s shocked expression quickly changed into one of excitement as he smiled widely and threw his dirtied rag that he was holding on the desk.  “No fucking way!” he yelled, rounding the desk and reaching out for her.  Y/N gladly accepted the hug, giggling when he picked her up and swung her around as he held her tight.  

“My God, Buck,” Y/N huffed when he set her down.  “You look so grown!”

“Well, it has been, what…14 years since I last saw you?” Bucky said, looking at her with a disapproving but teasing look.  “You look great.”

“Oh, thank you.  So do you,” Y/N blushed.  “So, you work here now?”

“I own this,” Bucky said, gesturing to the shop.

“Oh!  That’s amazing!”  Y/N said happily.  

“Yeah, old man Pierce finally died and I took over it,” Bucky explained, smiling at the waiting room.  “But hey, you’re a big writer in New York, right?  I read your books.”

“Oh my god, please tell me you didn’t!” Y/N said with wide eyes.

“I did,” Bucky arched his eyebrows at her.  “Very spicy stuff there, Y/L/N.”

Y/N hung her head in her hands, making Bucky laugh.  “I want to die,” she whined.

“It’s okay, honey, they were spicy but good!” he reassured her, squeezing her arms.  “I liked them.  Especially that one about the uh, what was it, the mafia one?”

“Fucking hell,” Y/N shook her head, trying to hide her blush.  “I know it sounds stupid, but you just never really think about people you grew up with reading your stuff?”

Bucky’s head fell back as he laughed.  “Well, you’ve got a little fan club here in town,” he said.  

“How embarrassing,” Y/N laughed.

Bucky stared at her for a minute.  “Sorry, I just can’t believe you’re here…why are you here?” he asked with a frown.

“Well, uh, right now I’m here because my car broke down as I drove in,” she said, pointing to the Beetle outside.

Bucky turned and looked at the car, then looked back at her with a smile.  “Got that Beetle you always wanted, huh?”

“Well, just recently, but yeah,” Y/N smiled, appreciating how he remembered how much she loved old Beetles.

“Well you came to the best mechanic in town,” he smirked.  “Let me take a look.”  She handed him her keys and followed him out to the car.  Bucky popped the back and looked over the engine for a minute before sighing.  “Yeah, looks like these belts need replacing,” he said, pointing at something that Y/N didn’t understand.  “I’ll have to order them, or maybe dig around and see if I can find any nearby.  It’ll probably take me a while,” he grimaced as he looked at her.

“I got nowhere to be,” Y/N shrugged.  “So I’m happy to wait.”

“Great,” Bucky nodded, shutting the door.  He pushed the Beetle into the garage and started making calls as Y/N sat in the waiting room.  After twenty minutes he came in with another grimace on his face.  “So, um…those specific belts won’t be delivered here for about three weeks.”

“That’s okay,” Y/N said quickly, shaking her head.  “Like I said, I got nowhere to be.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes.  “Don’t you have a husband to get back to?”

Y/N sighed and shook her head again, looking away.  “No, not anymore.”

Bucky froze for a moment before stepping forward and grabbing one of the other chairs, setting it in front of her so he could sit facing her.  “Wanna talk about it?” he asked gently.

Y/N snorted.  “What do you wanna know?”

“Everything,” he replied.

Y/N smiled.  “Um…well, I was married to a very successful luxury home realtor,” she began, looking at her hands wringing in her lap.  Her naked left ring finger still had an imprint from her old ring on her skin.  “His name was Raphael.  I called him Raf.”  Bucky nodded, listening intently.  “He was…kind.  Funny.  Very ambitious, which I liked at the time.  But when my writing took off he became insecure, especially when I started out-earning him, and he felt emasculated by the stories I wrote.”

“Emasculated?” Bucky scoffed.  “Why?  He couldn’t get it up?”

Y/N laughed, Bucky joining her.  “No, he was just very…vanilla, compared to what I wrote,” she explained, making Bucky nod in understanding.  “Which I never minded, but he took some kind of weird offense to it and thought I expected too much of him in that department.”

“Idiot,” Bucky shook his head.

Y/N shrugged.  “We had a few issues over the years.  I was focused on my career, and he wanted me to have babies.  There were a few times he, uh,” she looked away again, crossing her arms over her chest.  “He was pushy about it.  We never could get over it.”

“What do you mean, ‘pushy’?” Bucky frowned, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees.

Y/N shrugged again, glancing at him.  “It’s not a big deal, Buck.”  He gave her an unimpressed look.  “He…he tried to force me, a couple of times,” she said quietly, swallowing harshly.  “Tampered with my birth control.”

Bucky’s frown deepened, a sharp huff blowing through his nose.  His jaw ticked and he looked at his hands.  He reached forward for her hands, and she met him halfway.  He studied her hands, his right thumb gliding over her empty ring finger.  “I’m sorry, honey,” he said quietly, finally looking back up at her.  “You didn’t deserve that.  I’m glad you got out.”  

Y/N stared at his intense eyes.  He’d always had a way of looking straight into her soul with those eyes, the bright blue stunning her every time.  He was an incredibly cute teenager, and seeing him as a full grown adult now, with some patches of silver dotting his beard on his chin, the fine lines deepened in the corners of his eyes, he was even more handsome.  Bucky had been her number one when they were kids, he and his family taking her in when her parents were negligent and uncaring.  Even though they had only ever been friends, he’d been her first kiss before she left for college.  It was like their final farewell before she went off to bigger and better things, while he stayed home, unable to get scholarships or have enough money to go anywhere but a trade school.  They had lost touch, but she always thought of him and how he was doing.

“Thanks…Sugar,” she winked at him.

Bucky’s eyes widened before a wide smile spread across his face again and he hung his head as she laughed.  “Man, you’re never going to let that go, are you?” he groaned.

“Nope,” Y/N shook her head.  She squeezed his hands.  “But seriously, thank you.”

“I hope you got everything out of him in the divorce,” Bucky said, letting go of her hands and sitting back in the chair.  

“I did very well,” Y/N nodded.  “I had a great lawyer.  And it was helpful that he wasn’t very good at hiding his affair.”

“Affair?” Bucky scoffed.  “That fucker cheated on you?”

“Well, who else was he going to get babies from, Buck?” Y/N asked teasingly, raising her eyebrows.

Bucky rubbed his face harshly.  “Asshole.”

“Tell me about it,” she grimaced.  “But basically, I got to keep all my book earnings, and since we were married for a while and he out-earned me those first few years, I’ll be getting alimony.  And I sold almost everything before I drove here, so I should be set for a while.”

“Good,” Bucky smirked.  “But why come back here to Woodstock of all places?”

Y/N stared at him.  “I actually don’t know,” she frowned.  “New York just suddenly felt…too big.”  

Bucky watched her for a moment.  “Do you have a place to stay?”

“No,” Y/N shook her head.  “Is the hotel on Idalia still there?”

Bucky frowned.  “Yeah, but it’s still a shithole.  You’re not staying there.”  Y/N sighed.  “You can stay with me,” he offered.

“Oh, no Buck that’s okay, I don’t wanna intrude–”

“You won’t be.”

“What about…do you have a girlfriend...wife?”

“Nope,” he shook his head.  “But I do have a daughter.”

Y/N’s mouth dropped open in shock.  “A daughter?”  He smiled and nodded.  “Oh my god!”  Y/N smiled widely.  “Is that what this is for?” she asked, gesturing to the play area in the waiting room.

“Yep,” Bucky nodded.  “Though she’s far too big for tea sets now.”

“How old is she?  What’s her name?  Wait, where’s her mom? I’m sorry, is that rude of me to ask?  I’m just curious–”

“Breathe, honey,” Bucky interrupted her.  “Her name is Autumn.  She’s about to turn ten.  Her mom and I met while I was at trade school at a party.  We were both too drunk and irresponsible.  By the time I learned about Autumn her mother was trying to give her away for adoption.  She was Catholic and hid the pregnancy from her family, then tried to get rid of the baby once she was born.”  Y/N frowned.  “I took her and her mom signed away her rights.  Haven’t seen or heard from her since.”

Y/N nodded but her frown stayed.  “I’m sorry, Buck,” she said quietly.

“It’s okay,” he shrugged.  “She’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me.  It was hard, but I wouldn’t change a thing.  My mom has been a huge help.  Speaking of which,” he leaned forward again.  “In exchange for me fixing your car, you can help babysit Autumn until I get off work.  Ma’s getting old and can’t quite keep up with her anymore.”

“You’ll…you’ll fix my car for free, and let me stay with you for the foreseeable future, as long as I watch your daughter?” Y/N scoffed.

“Yep,” Bucky nodded, his smirk returning.  “Best friends help each other out.”

“True,” Y/N smiled.  She contemplated it for a moment.  “Deal,” she said, holding her hand out.

Bucky laughed and took her hand, shaking it firmly.  “Deal,” he said.

[mochiroreo]

I had to sign to the Devil now I’m on

Alpha!Rafe Cameron & Alpha!JJ Maybank x Omega!reader

TW: 18+ MDNI, NON-CON, DUBCON, afab!reader, reader being called “honey” most of the time, toxic alpha behavior, threesome, rough unprotected P in V, creampie, fingering, squirting, oral ( f receiving), choking,degradation, biting, primal play (non-consensual), a/b/o terminologies, marking/bonding, spitting, (let me know if I have missed anything!)

Author’s note: screw my halloween thingy. i clearly underestimated myself by thinking that I can write something short and call it a day while working full-time and writing book reviews as a side job lol. love you all and thanks for sticking around!

P.s. this is not beta’d hehe. We die like men.

“Do you need anything else?” Concern was evident on your mother’s voice, her shadow showing that she’s still outside your door, patiently waiting for an answer. “I-I’m fine mom..” you breathlessly answered “I t-think I can h-handle this for now.. thank you.” Before you even finished thanking her, another wave of nausea made you stumble towards you toilet. You tried to empty your stomach that was already empty for days now, puking your heart out.

Hearing you vomiting, your mom entered the room and held your hair out of the way, kneeling with you while rubbing soft circles on your back. She helped you cleaned up yourself, gently laying you down on your bed before arranging an array of snacks and microwaveable soups near your desk along with medication that might help ease out the pain and.. heat spells.

“I will ask your dad to give you space, we will go out for a few days, I know how much you hate our scents at this time. I am so sorry honey I cannot help you—“ “it’s alright mom. This is already too much.” You smiled at her, easing her nerves before quickly pressing a kiss on your forehead, trying not to overwhelm you with her own scent. “Just message us once you feel like its over, okay? Or anything, really.” Giving a curt nod, she left your room, hearing her softly talking to your dad.

Both of your parents are Alphas, based on the genetics class that you took, you have to be an Alpha as well. Everyone around you presented months ahead of you, some even years. Being the only late-bloomer at a small town, word quickly travelled and you were labelled as the “odd” one. You ignored them though, confidently assuring yourself that you are going to be one of the small numbers of being an Alpha. Omegas were very rare as well, yet you would rather be an Alpha with how severe Omega heats are. And as far as you know, if an Omega presents, their heat immediately follows. You really don’t want to be handling two major things in one sitting.

Something in your gut was not feeling right as you listen to your lecturer, taking notes on all the possible symptoms for every class.

You were having a small crisis during one of your breaks at the university, frustrated at still not having a status on the ‘hierarchy’ while ignoring texts from 2 annoying people that you try not to meet on campus every day. Your phone kept on vibrating, making you sigh in annoyance and proceeding to block those 2 numbers despite knowing that they will find another way to send you messages.

The two annoying people that got blocked was JJ and Rafe, who happens to be the top Alphas on the campus that you pay no mind to. Who also happens to be the people you have drunkenly slept with after a night long of partying for the first time. Waking up sandwiched in between of them, all three of you covered in bites and hickeys, your mind quickly presented every possible thing that the woman at campus might do to you. You carefully slide out of their hold and quickly dressed up, tiptoed your way out without even leaving a note.

You tried to act normal the next day, thinking that if you don’t pay any attention to them they wouldn’t notice you nor remember what happened that night. But with how heavy their gazes are towards you, you quickly realised that they are not on the same page as you are. Confusion ate you as to why would it bother them, but you continued to avoid them and their gazes. It was quiet for a while, before they started texting you. It went from “Hi. Its JJ :)” “Hey its Rafe” to “Would really love to feel you again” “you were so hot that night” which made your cheeks burn in embarrassment, quickly deleting their messages, only to be met with a new number and tons of missed calls.

You do not get their obsession at all, cause you are pretty sure you were hammered that night. Shots after shots, cocktails after cocktails, you were sure you just got wild and did the usual things to them that would be done with a normal hook up. You did not expect your first time partying to end up in their arms, but sure as hell you do not want to experience whatever might happen if word goes out that you slept with the “hottest” people in your university.

Sighing, you stared at your melting smoothie. The gloomy weather was affecting you as you slowly face the sky. You looked down at your sprawled out notes, trying to talk to yourself to study instead of overthinking about when you would present. The sky looks gloomier, making you quickly pack your things as it looks like its going to rain, when suddenly you felt dizzy.

You quickly balanced yourself, clutching your bag near your chest in shock. You were just thinking on what might be the reason before another wave of dizziness hits you once again. Sitting down slowly on the bench, you quickly messaged your bestfriend if she can take you home. Your best friend immediately came to where you are, helping you on her car. “Holy fuck you look so pale” she commented in the middle of the drive towards your house, your hair sticking at your nape and your forehead as you feel hot and cold at the same time.

Your best friend told your parents what happened, letting you rest. A few days rest would be enough, you thought. That clearly did not work. 5 days went by like a blur, days were spent on having the highest fever ever to vomiting the soup that you ate for lunch. And with how severe and noticeable the symptoms are, your parents chose to go out for a while to not overwhelm you with their pheromones, leaving you alone.

The nausea that you had throughout those days was replaced with something more embarrassing and something that made you cry in frustration. The sudden heat and wetness that kept on pooling on your legs with the excessive amount of releasing pheromones into the air only meant one thing.. you’re presenting as an Omega and you’re having your first heat.

You laid down sweaty on your bed, the room stuffy and boiling hot for you despite the cold autumn air entering through your windows and the AC that you have turned on. A wave of pleasure had hit your body, your hands pushing down the garter of your soaking wet underwear, immediately slipping two fingers in your deprived pussy. You mewled at the sudden feeling, thrusting your fingers almost immediately to relieve yourself. Holding your legs up, you continued to pump your fingers in and out to reach the climax that seems so far away. You cried out in frustration, stopping your actions when you’ve realized that whatever you’re doing is not and won’t be enough unless its an Alpha.

You quickly grabbed your phone beside, messaging your bestfriend about your situation.

“I am hundred percent certain that I’m presenting as an Omega and I’m having my first heat. Do you mind telling Pope to— you know..? Visit me.. if he’s there at the party”

Pope was your safest bet for an Alpha to help you out. The guy was the kindest and definitely one of the smartest people you have ever met, so you trust that whatever he would do would help you and ease the pain. There was a sudden pain in your chest from your heat that pushed you to release more of your scent, you’re breathing so fast that you try to ease the pain by curling into a ball. Waiting for it stop, you heard your phone pinged and quickly took a look at your bestfriend’s message that says “Oh shit, I’m on it 🫡”

You waited for what seems to be hours, as your heat becomes more and more unmanageable. You tried to look decent at least, a red, thin silk nightgown that sits on your body perfect and a properly brushed hair before swiping some strawberry lipgloss. You felt bare and nervous with Pope seeing you in this state, but you cannot help at thinking that this might be a step on having a serious relationship with someone reliable and can help you out with your cycles.

The doorbell rang, making you gulp nervously before trotting downstairs to open the door slightly and what you saw just made your stomach drop along with your smile. “What the hell are you both doing here?” You asked with squinted eyes, holding the doorknob tightly.

JJ’s huge smile greeted you while Rafe just smirked in amusement. “Are you that disappointed to see us?” JJ asked, making you squint harder at him in annoyance. Rafe just chuckled before pouting to mock at your expression, leaning on the door frame which made you close the door a bit more. “Aww, she doesn’t wanna see us.” “Shut up. I asked you guys a question, what are you both doing here?” You continued, trying not to get overwhelmed with both of their scents as you will yourself not to give in.

“Well, we heard something from a little birdie that someone has presented as an Omega and well.. that someone, requires some top Alpha service.” JJ answered behind Rafe, a menacing smile on his face as he stares on your paling face. “Mhm,” Rafe nods in agreement before slightly pushing the door, gripping the edge tightly. “Do you know who that new Omega is?” The slight push exposed your thin nightgown, and based on Rafe’s darkening expression and JJ’s slightly wide eyes, you knew that you’re running out of time to push them away.

“I don’t know what you guys are talking about.” With an eye roll, you were about to slam the door, when both of them pushed it to stop you. You were still holding the door knob so you tried to push it close only to be met with resistance. “Seriously, you’re fucking choosing Pope? When you have us?” Rafe asks, his blue eyes staring at you so intently as he try to sneak a peek at your body behind the door. You heard JJ sigh, laying his palm flat on your door, hearing the clunk of his rings. “You know.. I feel a bit betrayed. You, choosing a good friend of mine, instead of me? Have you forgotten what you said to us THAT night?”

His emphasis made you shut your eyes, the image of their bare torsos flooding your memory and their breathless sighs made you clench your legs, unknowingly releasing some pheromones into the air that wafted straight into their nostrils. Both taking a deep breath, your scent smelling like amber, honey, and vanilla, making both of them salivate. You snapped out of your daze when you noticed them being quiet, realising your mistake when you noticed that their eyes are almost black,irises swallowing the pretty blue hues of their orbs.

You tried to push the door shut once again, both Rafe and JJ trying to push it open. “Open the door, honey. Come on.” Rafe said menacingly, staring you down. The vast difference of your size to them made you shiver in fear and anticipation on what they might do to you. You slapped yourself mentally before trying to push it shut again. JJ clicked his tongue before sighing “That’s it.” He mumbled under his breath before giving Rafe a short nod. Rafe just smirked before they both gave the door one solid push, making you tumble backwards.

Preventing yourself from falling backwards, you immediately balanced yourself, slowly stepping back while maintaining eye contact with the two. Your heart is pounding inside your chest so loud that you can hear it together with your heavy breaths. Rafe and JJ’s stature just scares you, their toned arms ready to capture you as they walk towards you like a predator catching its prey. When a click was heard with JJ shutting the door, you quickly grabbed whatever was near you, which happens to be a vase, and threw it towards the two.

With Rafe being the closest, he barely managed to dodge it, scraping the side of his arm. He just looked at you, snapping his neck as he chuckles. “Oh woohh..” he exhaled, a menacing smirk on his lips as JJ just laughed beside him. “You shouldn’t have done that.” He growled lowly, not taking his eyes of your quivering form. “Run, honey. Cause once we catch you—“ you did not even let JJ finished his sentence before you start running upstairs, hearing their laughter echoing throughout the empty house.

You were panicking, trying to wrack your brain on where to hide. Your house was a decent size, so even though there’s not much place to hide, you still knew what places they might not even spare a glance. You crawled inside a spacious cupboard that is concealed behind the door in your guest bathroom, talking to yourself inside your head to slow down your breathing.

“Honey~ come out, come out wherever you are~” JJ called out in a singsong way while Rafe just chuckled. You heard their steps getting closer before hearing them walk away to check whatever room they haven’t checked. Covering your mouth in fear, you closed your eyes to stop yourself from shivering. You just wanted this to end, this fucking heat. This situation. This was far from what you wanted already, from discovering you’re an omega to seeing the people that you hate so much outside of your house instead of Pope.

It was suspiciously quiet, yet you did not move. You were still trying to control your thoughts and your shivering body, your hair sticking into your skin with how warm you are feeling because of your heat and because of the cramped space. You felt another ripple of pleasure, making you close your eyes shut. “Not now, not now, not now” you plead to yourself, the heat being way more worse after the confrontation. You didn’t hear anything from outside. Trusting your gut feeling, you removed your hands from your mouth and finally opened your eyes.

Only to be met with Rafe and JJ’s big smile that made the blood drain from your face.

“Boo.”

A deafening scream escaped your throat as Rafe grabbed you out of your hiding space, your arm suffering from a bruising grip. You did not stop trying to hit him or JJ even when he carried you over his shoulder, trying to hit his back while also aiming to kick JJ. Rafe smacked your ass, the pain immediately traveling to your wet core. JJ smelled it in the air, watching you sob as Rafe plopped you down on your bed. They both stared at your disheveled state, your nightgown sticking to your skin, highlighting your pebbled nipples that are now evident thanks to the cold air from you open window.

Both men did not waste any time, taking off their clothes as you watch in shock. You cannot help your eyes trailing down, from their faces that showed no other emotion than want, to their taut arms and muscles. Your eyes widened when you saw how huge their cocks are just because of your heat, Rafe’s longer and a bit curved while JJ’s a good length yet clearly thicker than the other, making you gulp in fear and anticipation, your hormones taking over your mind as it turns into a mush.

They were both beside you in an instant, with Rafe landing a slap on your cheek that does not sting much yet brought your mind down back to your body again. “Why can’t you just follow, huh? This wouldn’t have happened if you just listened to us.” You continued to just stare at him, trying to cover your breasts using your arms before you felt JJ wrapping his hand around your neck. “He is asking a question, honey. Come on now.”

Your eyes started to water yet you felt your pussy clench on nothing, instead of answering, you have accidentally let out a soft mewl.

“Fuck, look at you.” JJ spoke, licking his lips as his hold on your neck slightly tightened. “Who would have known that you will love this?” Rafe grabbed the neck line of your night gown before ripping it, making you gasp. You felt vulnerable by the sudden action, trying to cover up your body which made them both annoyed.

“Who told you to cover yourself up, slut?” You felt Rafe smack your leg, before shoving it upwards to show them your weeping cunt. Your face heated up in shame with how wet you are, your own juices trailing down your legs. You didn’t get to answer back as JJ lets go of his hold on your neck before leaning down to kiss you. The kiss is sloppy and extra messy because of what your heat was doing to them. He tasted every corner of your mouth as you obediently open to let him, tongues dancing with each other, biting his bottom lip which made him groan into your mouth. The sound made your pussy clench on nothing, making Rafe laugh mockingly.

“Aww, look at this weeping cunt. I bet you had a hard time huh? It’s alright, I will make you feel good.” You didn’t have enough time to get down from the high of JJ’s kiss when you felt Rafe lick your folds slowly, coating his tongue in your essence. The action made you grip JJ’s hair while he press wet kisses on your neck, sucking and licking as he covers you with hickeys.

Your brain turned into a mush, the fight inside of you now long gone as you feel mind-numbing pleasure from the both of them. Rafe continued to plunge his tongue inside of you, his thumb rubbing your clit in circles, his mouth and chin covered in your slick as he continue to eat you out. Sliding a finger inside of you, you immediately moaned and clenched, making the kook king smirk mockingly. “And she wants to put up a fight? Hah.” JJ commented before latching on your nipples, teasing it between his teeth and feeling it harden on his tongue. You don’t know what’s happening anymore, other than the feel of their mouths on your body. Rafe slipped in another finger, and another when you mewled.

His three fingers pumped in an out of you, setting a punishing pace. You had long shut your eyes, brows scrunched in pleasure with your mouth agape. JJ tapped your cheek repeatedly, making you open your eyes. “Keep your eyes open and watch us fuck you.” You watched Rafe suck your clit, fingers squelching as it tries to go deeper everytime, and when he curved his fingers and felt that rough texture, your eyes rolled at the back of your head, snapping open that release that you’ve wanted for days.

Rafe felt your pussy flood with your cum, clenching hard on his fingers. Continuing still, JJ grinned when he watched your legs shake, making Rafe pull back. “Oh shit” he muttered, both of them seeing the liquid gushing out of your cunt. “God.. thats fucking hot.” Brushing his hair upwards, while Rafe wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, your chest heaving up and down.

You were tired but not yet satisfied as your mouth waters at the sight of their cocks, seemingly larger than earlier. You wanted to suck and taste it, feel it heavy on you tongue but it seems like they don’t want that today. Both men positioned your body for what they want to do, JJ sliding underneath you with Rafe positioning himself above you. Your eyes were slowly closing, before a slap echoed on the room. “Fucking wake up, you hear me?” With a clenched jaw, Rafe grabbed you by the jaw with force, making you nod your head. JJ cackled, pressing his bare chest on yours. “Where’s the fight that you had earlier? Gone already?” He continued to made fun of you, feeling him rub his tip to your puckered hole. “Knew it was this easy to get you like this. Why are you even playing hard to get?”

Being sandwiched between them two sent your brain into an overload. All you were thinking about was the relief and pleasure of having them and taking them both. The fight inside of you turned into craving the feeling of their lips on your skin, their pheromones clouding your mind as much as your cloud theirs. You felt your slick drip down, from your puffy pussy lips to your hole. You felt the soft tip of JJ’s cock poking your hole, lubricating it with your slick and with his pre-cum before pushing in slowly. The intrusion made your body tense up, craning your head back and resting it on his shoulder. JJ hissed with the tightness, holding in a breath as he push,push,push inside of you. Rafe noticed how you scrunched your eyebrows, making him rub circles on your clit to loosen you up.

The sudden action made you scratch JJ’s arm that was holding you in place, squirting as he is finally balls deep inside of you. JJ lets out a shaky breath while Rafe only chuckled, before pushing his huge cock inside of you without warning. You gasped, looking down to slightly to see his flushed body connecting with yours while feeling JJ behind you, hands now holding your legs open. Leaning closer, Rafe growled in your ear while JJ moaned on the other side. Both men tentatively gave you one hard thrust, making you clench on the both of them.

The action made both of them give you another hard thrust, hands digging on your waist and hips, trying to create a rhythm. Rafe’s thrust were continuous and forceful, immediately hitting your sweet spot which made you curl your toes while JJ’s were short yet deep, stuffing your entrance so full of his thick cock that all you can think about is how full you are and how mind-numbing the pleasure is.

JJ constantly sucks hickeys on the side of your neck while Rafe attacks your lips with a searing kiss, their hips never stopping as drools drips from the side of your lips. Both blondes cannot help but bask on the feeling of your wetness and the squelching sounds your holes are making while you moan so erotically for them to hear, your sweet scent making it more pleasurable for them. “I-I’m close.. oh god I’m so c-close..!” You tried to warn them, holding Rafe close as you drag your nails on his back making the taller male stutter out a low moan.

Your warning just made JJ’s urge to own you stronger, grabbing your hips in a bruising hold as he piston his hips, feeling his wet balls smacking your ass with every thrust, prompting Rafe to do the same. “Take it— fuck, take it you fucking whore..!” He whispered with Rafe wrapping his hand on your neck, squeezing slightly making you open your eyes. “Doesn’t this remind you of that night?” He asks, following JJ’s rhythm. Tears flowed down your cheeks as you get overwhelmed with pleasure, constantly moaning and releasing a series of ah,ah,ah as a bitch in heat. “You told us you are ours that night, stuffing you so full like this.” He smirked at you, watching how filthy you look like, taking both of their cocks and letting them have their way with you. JJ chuckled breathlessly when he hear what Rafe said “yeah— fuck— remember how she moaned that night while holding her legs open? Then acted like nothing happened, now look at you. Back to doing it again for us.”

You were too far gone. Their comments slipping down your brain as your body focused on the fullness and the harsh circles on your clit that you don’t even know who’s giving you with your eyes rolled at the back of your head. “C-coming..!” You didn’t even finished your warning as you cum, clenching on both of them tightly. Yoyur body convulsed, mouth slack and open which prompted Rafe to spit on it. Both men felt your hot slick wetting them both, chasing their own highs.

JJ looked at Rafe, licking his bottom lip before cocking an eyebrow. A silent challenge to the other alpha male before sinking his teeth on your shoulder blade. The sharp pain made you open your eyes full of unshed tears, breathing heavy as pain and pleasure mixed inside of you. JJ licked the wound, pressing with kisses before huskily moaning, releasing his cum deep inside of you, filling you up as he relishes on the high from the sex and from marking you as his. “Mine.” JJ whispered while looking at Rafe, clearly challenging the other with a smug smirk.

Rafe snarled, baring his teeth on the other blonde before thrusting deep inside of your abused cunt and biting the other side of your shoulder. His bite was rougher than the other, hot pain searing inside of you as you open your mouth in a silent scream before feeling him cum deep inside of you. Kissing the bitten area of your shoulders, they both stayed inside of you before pulling out at the same time. Your tired state was evident with how flushed your cheeks are and how your eyes were barely open.

Both of them stood up, JJ laying down your tired form properly on the bed while Rafe grabs a wet cloth to clean you up. While cleaning you properly, both men cannot help but watch you sleep while baring their marks, officially marking you as theirs. They want you for themselves but both of them won’t back down, settling on the terms that they share you, as long as its only the two of them that gets to taste and fuck you.

They held your body close, the haze of stuffing you full still buzzing on their system as they settle beside you. Looking at their bite marks, both of them grinned foolishly, finally claiming you as theirs.

“You fucking assholes!”

Both men immediately sits up in shock, still sleepy from the draining activities last night. When they both opened their eyes, they saw you standing in front of your mirror, staring at the bites that they left on each of your shoulder blades in horror.

You looked at both of them in disbelief, hiding the marks with your hands while you sob. JJ and Rafe just smiled at you, clearly proud of their work. “Get out— get out!” You screamed at their faces, ignoring the fact that your heat is still not finished yet. Feeling betrayed that they staked their claim. Now everyone will know who claimed you, their pheromones will always cling on your skin and your body reacting more actively when they’re closer because they had bonded you without your consent. You sobbed at the fact that instead of having someone mature to help you out on your heat cycles, you instead got two of the most possessive bastards in the world.

Rafe just leaned back while JJ rested his head on his hands. “Now, now” JJ started. “I think you need to calm down. We really need to teach our little omega how to speak to her Alphas properly, right, Rafe?” The other just chuckled, eyeing your naked body with lust. “Oh definitely. I cannot have a bratty little omega prancing around with such a dirty mouth. I guess, we both need to stuff her mouth with our cocks, put her into place huh?” You ignored them and screamed “oh fuck off! You fucking pieces of shit!” Your chest was heaving in anger.

Rafe grabbed the lamp besides him and threw it on the wall behind you while JJ lets out a warning growl.

You just stared at them in shock, covering your now cowering body as they stare at you intensely with clenched jaws. JJ stood up, walking towards you before dragging you forcefully towards the bed by your hair. Letting out a scream,he shoved you down the bed with your ass propped up for both of them to see, before landing a harsh spank on your ass. You cried out in pain, before feeling Rafe’s hand on your nape, pressing you down and choking you.

“You are ours. OURS.” He threatened through clenched teeth.

The sun went down. The day ended with you covered and full with their cum, using and abusing all your holes, covered in hickeys and bruises that will last for days. Clearly expecting you to learn your lesson, your mind blank as you take and take whatever they give you.

[louvemione]

illicit affairs (part two) — d. malfoy (draco's pov)

synopsis : Draco watched as Y/n slowly walked out of his life and wonders why their relationship is considered illicit.

warning/s : angst, fluff if you squint hard enough, profanity, written in first person, pureblood! reader (this isn't really important & would only be implied)

author's note : like promised, here is part two of illicit affairs 🥳 but i feel like i didn't write it properly 🥲 hopefully, you guys get the message i'm trying to get through!

<- part one | part three ->

leave the perfume on the shelf

that you picked out just for him

sixth year

"why is it that you no longer wear your signature perfume? I used to love it" that was probably a dumb and unnecessary question to ask

but can you blame me? I just need the slightest reasons and I would gladly start a conversation with her. as crazy as it sounds, I'd most definitely take every opportunity to talk to her.

she was silent for a moment, luckily it was only us sitting by the fire, "there's absolutely no reason for me to wear it but i'm glad you loved it"

i hate this. i hate the awkward silence between me and her, i hate that she's distancing herself from me and i hate that i am pretty much aware of it, i hate not being able to tell her how much i adore her, i hate not being true to myself, i hate—

"i'll go to my dorms now, it was nice talking to you" she didn't wait for my response and continued to walk to her dormitory, i hate when she's formal, it's as if we weren't friends.

so you leave no trace behind

like you don't even exist

"good morning!" I say, rather awkwardly than I hoped for it to

"hello, Draco" she smiled and walked past me

I watched her retreating figure like I always do now that she tries to cut every interaction short.

I hate it.

I hate it when she acts as if nothing ever happened between us. I hate that she no longer wears her perfume. I hate that she's slowly starting to slip past my finger tips.

I fucking hate it.

because she was leaving my life, slowly. so slow that I could see her disappear bit by bit. like, she was packing her things to move else where.

from her presence, to her perfume. it's as if she never even existed with how carefully everything connecting to her disappeared from my life.

take the words for what they are

a dwindling, mercurial high

"you look gorgeous" I whispered, hoping that it was loud enough for y/n to hear, hoping that she knew that it was directed at her, not Astoria.

I felt guilty for dancing with my soon-to-be wife and wishing it was y/n I'm holding.

soon enough, when Harry and Y/n stopped dancing, I excused myself.

"I'll go out for a moment" not waiting for Astoria's reply, I started walking away. I walked behind Y/n, grazing my hand against her waist in the process, hoping that she gets the message.

and that's how we ended up in the restricted section of the library, where we spent the next hour hugging and exchanging kisses and i love you's while looking through the different books in the shelves.

i love you, looking back, I started to wonder whether or not she took my words seriously.

"impossible! he can't...actually mean it!"

but according to the conversation I overheard, she took it as a dwindling, mercurial high.

a drug that only worked

"we're okay, we'll figure this out together, but let's not think of that for now" my kisses were denied when she pushed my head away and sat up.

"we all know we can't do anything about it" she argued and pushed me off, "listen, baby, we shouldn't restrict ourselves from loving who we want and I definitely won't spend my life married to someone I don't love, so believe me, I'll do something about it"

"but you two are set for marriage—"

"but I love you, not her" she stayed silent and I smiled, "so, do you trust me?"

"yeah, of course, I do"

the first few hundred times

"do you not trust me?!"

"NO! I FUCKING DON'T!"

and that's the thing about illicit affairs

and clandestine meetings and stolen stares

illicit? our relationship is nowhere near illicit.

it's not wrong to love someone, what's wrong is to pretend to love someone.

if it were Astoria I'm in a relationship with, that's illicit. but y/n? why would our relationship be illicit? because I'm bound to marry someone I don't want to marry?

"you okay, mate?" only then did I realize that I have been gripping my knife so tightly as I watched as she laughed with Saint Potter.

"we know you've been...feeling bad since she ended things with you but—"

"I just don't understand! why now? why—"

"why not now, Draco? did you think she'd want to wait 'til your wedding before breaking it off?"

"there will be no wedding!"

"oh I wouldn't be so sure if I were you" Daphne says, "my mum wrote to me this morning and mentioned that they might start planning yours and Astoria's wedding, if I were you, I'd start getting into action"

I spent the rest of supper thinking and secretly staring at y/n, who seemed to be doing the same.

they show their truth one single time

"i love you"

but they lie, and they lie, and they lie

"do you love me, still?" I say, not too bothered by the students who I knew were eavesdropping in our conversation

"as a friend, yeah"

we both know she's lying. and I know she's aware of the fact that I know she's lying.

a million little times

© louvemione on tumblr | do not steal, copy, translate or repost

[loveandleases]

*Rolls by semi-casually*

Christmas is near and OH NO - The ROs are in a pickle! What would be their last minute gift to MC? (As in, 'omfg-I-forgot-to-get-a-gift/the-gift-I-planned-fell-through and now I gotta get something last second!') Or would they tell the truth? Perhaps improvise?

Also: YOU BETTER BE GETTING REST AFTER UR FINALS, LEA OR SO HELP ME- OAO

So casual, never would have suspected it!

Such a cute ask, getting me into the seasonal mood for the holiday snippet!

❤️Cam -

Last-minute gift: He would make MC a photo collage of the photos he admires the most, some from when they were kids to now. He would even include some shots of scenery or Doggo. Top it off with a photo of their hands holding the keys to their apartment because it is 1. sentimental and 2. a significant day to him.

He would have planned MC's present for months, only to forget how close Christmas was. So, the present in question would have sold out when it came down to it. (It was Something MC wanted and either didn't think about it or refused to buy for themselves.)

💙 G -

Last minute gift: A sweater. It's not exactly a new sweater but new to MC. They would even attempt to embroider their names on it around the collar—or maybe along the cuff. Then, they'll offer MC a chance to spend time with some of the animals up for adoption at the clinic. If MC has Angela, prepare for her to be spoiled. G will pull out all the stops, bath and all. Free checkups for the year or longer.

G would pretend it was intentional. They wanted it to be sentimental...it's not because they accidentally ordered the wrong item, so it now sits in their closet. Nope...

💚 Kara -

Last minute gift: A massage to beat all massages! MC is in for a relaxing night. Kara will pamper MC from sun up to sun down. MC will get to watch their favorite movie and listen to their favorite music. She'll order anything MC wants to eat. Just let her handle the day.

Kara would be honest that she ordered the wrong thing. Make a cute anecdote out of it and play the mishap up in her favor.

💛 M -

Last minute gift: After spending about an hour in a downward spiral about forgetting to get MC something because they're sleep-deprived from finishing Chapter 3 of their novel. M will bunker down and write a story for MC. It's something that hits on things MC cares about, like doggo. They'll go so far as to design the cover page and even joke about giving MC a signed copy (reminiscent of the book they gave MC).

M will be so apologetic about forgetting that MC will get presents daily for the next month. They have money to burn, and no one better to spend it than MC.

💜 Isaac -

Last minute gift: A plant. It doesn't sound like much right off, but Isaac is very much a plant parent. Their mother used to have these flowering plants that were the apple of her eye. So really, it's a rather special present. Even if MC isn't a plant person, Isaac will offer to take care of it for them. If that doesn't work...gulp..."You can drive her." And by her, Isaac means the car.

They didn't forget, not at all. They just weren't able to get MC's gift because they worked two jobs.

🖤 Ardent -

Last minute gift: MC won't have to pay rent for the month. Not only that, but Ardent will get to all those menial little tasks that he's yet to get to at the apartment—re-caulking around the bathtub, retiling that one spot in the corner of the hall closet. He will be down on his hands and knees trying to make it up to MC. Plus, a homemade three-course meal.

Whatever he got MC, it just isn't in yet. Ardent is big on holidays; he has no choice due to his niece, so he is so repentant about it. But I promise MC's stocking will be stuffed to the brim.

(My last final is Friday morning! I'll take a break right after, I swear~ Also...Sylus myth 💀)

[solecize]

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐑��𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: every summer on your grandpa's farm was real-life magic to your younger self, who left a piece of her heart in amber valley when the years went on and the town became nothing but a faint childhood memory. soon enough, you become rocked by his death and realize the dead end in your bustling city world. this leads to you making an abrupt decision.

despite knowing nothing but designer purses and the corporate ladder, you uproot your entire life to take over your grandfather's old farm in the town you were desperately trying to remember - alongside a familiar face from your youth that permanently finds his way into your heart.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: jungkook/reader 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. inspired heavily by stardew valley, friends to lovers, childhood friends, cowboy jungkook, small town alternate universe, slice of life, grief, growing up, mutual pining 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 4.6k 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒. n/a

part three: the letters, the saloon and the second storm  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ previous. next. masterlist

  vi. the letters

september 2nd 2008 (age 9)

dear jungkook,

  my mom said i should write you letters. i don’t really know what to say here. you better be visiting marshmallow and be nice to her while i’m gone. i miss her a lot. i guess i miss having you around since i don’t have anyone to play guitar hero with…

p.s. happy late birthday maybe i can visit and come to your party next year if my mom lets me

  from y/n

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

january 19th 2009 (age 10)

dear y/n,

  i learned how to skate for the first time. it’s too bad the ice will be gone when you’re back and we won’t get to skate together. i can’t believe we’ll be in middle school soon. are you scared? hoseok and namjoon say it’s not a big deal. also, i saw your grandpa yesterday and he showed me how to use a tapper on a maple tree. so cool!

p.s. you should ask your mom if you can visit earlier this year

  from jungkook

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

april 23rd 2009 (age 10)

HEY JUNGKOOK,

  look inside the box, i sent you a book with this letter. i told you in my last letter that i would send you one. it’s astronomy for dummies (because you’re a dummy). you better read it before i come back to grandpa’s, okay?? you have a month and a half loser.

from y/n

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

september 30th 2009 (age 10)

hi y/n,

  jimin sprained his ankle during gym class. your grandpa told me to write that because it probably just made your day. i feel a little bit bad for him, the nurse at our school is really mean. also i know it’s a month away but i’m so excited for halloween. my dad got me this really cool goku costume. what are you gonna dress up as?

  from jungkook

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

february 4th 2010 (age 11)

jungkook,

  i’m so tired of my parents fighting all the time. all they do is yell. i can’t wait to be back in amber valley so i don’t have to hear them all the time. i wish i had your parents, they’re so nice. also i hate my class. it’s so hard to be friends with the girls that sit next to me, they always leave me out of things. don’t you miss elementary school?

  from y/n

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

may 17th 2010 (age 11)

dear y/n,

  guess what. my dad got me a skateboard!! it’s so cool. if you’re nice to me i’ll let you borrow it. we should see who can do the coolest trick. it’ll be me of course i’m better than you at everything LOL. you better hurry and come back!

  from jungkook

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

november 25th 2010 (age 11)

hi jungkook, 

  i can’t believe i’ll only be living with my dad soon. do you think my mom doesn’t want me? honestly, i’d rather just live with grandpa all the time. then i could see marshmallow everyday all year! or maybe you can convince your mom to take me in. actually, i take that back, i could never live with you. you’re so messy. 

p.s. i got my own skateboard!! it’s cold now but i’m gonna practice and bring it with me next summer

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

february 18th 2011 (age 12)

y/n,

  i know you’re super sad and stuff. i’m sorry about your parents. we’re gonna have the best summer ever though and maybe you won’t think so much about it. look at the bucket list i made!

eat breakfast for dinner

watch the captain america movie

ride the big kids ride at the midsummer fair (i’m tall enough now so you better be too)

stay up all night

make ice cream

  if you have any ideas, add on! hope you’re doing okay :( 

  from jungkook

  vii. the saloon

when jungkook mentioned the saloon to you, you thought it was a joke poking at the countryside life. 

  “oh, it’s actually called a saloon. like, unironically. that’s what the text said,” you rambled into your phone, edged between your ear and shoulder, as you stood in your kitchen in front of your laptop.

  on the screen, you were assembling an excel sheet of sorts to assist your navigation through the business side of the farm. thankfully, this was exactly the field you had long worked and studied in and knowing this before taking on your new role made the transition far easier. there was hardly any product to be profiting from, as you had just arrived, and you were preparing the document before the time came to deal with vendors and other local businesses.

  “oh, honey, that place has actually been called ‘the saloon’ ever since i was a little girl,” your mom’s voice chimed in from the other end.

  since the turn of your early twenties, your phone calls to your parents were far and few between and you could hear the surprise in her tone when she initially picked up. but, your grandpa’s letter seemed to be growing truer everyday, as your surroundings made drew you to reconnect with what you thought was to be lost.

  eyebrows furrowed, you continued to scroll through your work. “mom, do you think he meant it as a date? i can’t do a date, i literally just got here!”

  “calm down. it’s that amber valley hospitality. but,” your mom paused, “you did have crushes on each other growing up.”

  “mom, no way - “

  she merely laughed. “it was so obvious! you mailed a valentine’s day card to jungkook every year. one time, he punched little jimin because he called you ‘jungkook’s ugly girlfriend.’”

  “and then he screamed that i wasn’t ugly. huh, i do remember that,” you began to think. 

  spending time reminiscing with your mom momentarily distracted you from the anxiety you felt, waiting for the evening to come. jungkook did end up texting you, asking if you were coming down to the saloon for the birthday surprise. you looked away and closed your eyes when you pressed ‘send’ on the confirmation that you would drop by.

  the idea made you nervous only because it had been so long since you went out and met new people. there was no such thing as free time in your old life and you really only maintained surface-level friendships with your coworkers in your last year of the job.  however, knowing amber valley and the tight-knit community, it was only a matter of time before you got acquainted with everyone, whether you liked it or not.

  by the time it was six, you’d forced yourself to get changed and inspected your outfit several times before leaving. the last thing you wanted to do was stand out too much. so, you put on your favourite denim jeans and a plain long sleeve top, putting away your go-to strappy stilettos for the night. 

  making your way into town was quick and soon enough, you found the pub situated in between the flower shop and the hardware store. it definitely looked like it’d been around since your mom was a little girl, the exterior siding showing age with chips here and there. 

  “hey y/n.”

  you jumped, having not paid attention to your surroundings. turning around, it was taehyung holding a box adorned in magenta polka dot wrapping. he wore a similar outfit to the one from the day before, except a different cowboy hat. you wondered if there was a store in town that specialized in selling just these hats.

  “hi taehyung. is this for jin?” you offered a smile, gesturing to the box.

  a pleased grin formed on taehyung’s face. “yup. i’m pretty sure i got him the best gift out of everyone, but don’t tell anyone.”

  he walked ahead of you and opened the door, pausing. you realized he was opening it for you and you quickly thanked him, going right in. small town hospitality. 

  it was saturday evening, but to your surprise, there were hardly any patrons in the bar. taehyung then pointed to a sign by the door, which you missed completely. it read: ‘private event, invite only.’ 

  “oh, wow, am i v.i.p?” you joked, following him to the back of the room, where a stack of presents were grouped on one table. 

  “of course! you’re jungkook’s friend, after all,” he exclaimed, setting his box down with the others. “you guys go way back, huh? how long has it been since you guys since saw each other?”

  you counted in your head. “i think twelve or thirteen years. a while.”

  “what, no facebook back in the day?” he teased.

  “no, he was never nearly fond of that. after i stopped coming for the summers, we lost contact completely.” you couldn’t recall any attempts for continued communication afterwards, other than your grandpa offering updates here and there about him. “we used to write, but i don’t know what happened. . .”

  for a while, you wondered why jungkook never wrote you again after you stopped coming to the valley. admittedly, looking back, it hurt your preteen self that he never tried. but, eventually, you moved on and left jungkook in your childhood.

  taehyung nodded slowly. “so. . .you didn’t know about what happened?”

  you already knew what he was talking about and squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment. “no. i felt really bad about it.”

  “it’s okay. since i moved to town, i’ve really admired jungkook. if there’s any sort of pain, he hides it really well for the sake of others,” he said, leaning on the wall.

  that sounded like the jungkook you remembered. he was always the type to put others before himself, no matter how small the issue. then, you began thinking about jiwon.

  “taehyung, can i ask you something?” you suddenly said. “jiwon. she’s only nine. and jungkook doesn’t have any other family. . .”

  the smile at the corner of taehyung’s lips was sad. “yeah. jungkook is her primary guardian and has been since he was nineteen.”

  the answer seemed to weigh a hundred pounds and you had to take a second to take it all in. there were so many questions that formed, floating around your head and you couldn't seem to find the words to articulate any of them. before you could even try, you jumped again at the sudden appearance of two new individuals, one of them being jungkook himself and forced you to put away your thoughts.

  “we’re behind schedule, did yoongi put the cake in the fridge?” this new person was turned to taehyung, carrying a case of beer. “we need - oh, hi! y/n! i totally remember you, i heard you were back!”

  you’d never seen someone with such energy, exhibiting positivity like a ray of sunshine. it seemed like he was genuinely delighted to see you. taking a closer look at his features, you recognized him to be jung hoseok - jungkook’s next door neighbour. he put down the case in his hands and immediately pulled you into a bone-crushing hug.

  “hoseok, hi!” you winced, trying your best to hug him back, but it certainly made you burst into a giggle.

  he was the first person to remember you on the spot, which took you aback. a few years older than you, you weren’t as close with him as you were with jungkook growing up, but he was always around. you remember him as the big brother who showed you and jungkook the cool ‘older kid’ shows and games that your parents would have never let you watch at that young age. 

  “how have you been? you look so grown up! you’re really staying here for good?” the questions were rapid-fire, one after another.

  beside him, jungkook was smiling, but tapped hoseok to bring him back into the main conversation. “hyung. hyung! we’re behind schedule, remember?” he groaned, but grinned wider when you met his eyes. “nice to see you, though, bunny. really glad you came.”

  “oh, right.” hoseok quickly let go and cleared his throat, beginning to point to each of you with authority. “you, taehyung. go help jimin with the slideshow. namjoon has the pinata.”

  pinata? how old was this jin person, was he one of jiwon’s friends?

  “you, jungkook. jin said he’s five minutes away, we need you to distract him for a bit longer.”

  “can i help?” you piped in, feeling a bit out of place. “i mean, i’m here as a last minute guest, i’m happy to help in any way.”

  hoseok clapped his hands together in glee. “thank you, y/n! go help jungkook distract jin, you being there will give him a reason to yap on. let’s go team!” he raised his fist in encouragement and in the blink of an eye, he already dashed off. 

  at this, jungkook seemed unfazed and frankly, so were you. you remember hoseok’s personality to be like this - extremely vigorous and could never sit in one place. on the other hand, taehyung looked perplexed as much as he appeared amused. he only shrugged, picking up the case of beer that hoseok clearly forgot.

  “let’s go team, i guess. i’ll see you guys in a bit!” taehyung chuckled, walking off.

  you were expecting to be asked to move around chairs or help bring out food. this wasn’t quite in your cards. you turned to jungkook in confusion, who chuckled at your expression.

  “come follow me.”

  he led the two of you back out the saloon, hands in his jean pockets. the early summer air was stunningly humid and coming outside was like hitting a muggy and sticky wall. but, there was one thing that couldn’t be replaced.

  you couldn’t help but stare up at the sky, a fixed gaze. “you can really see the stars when you’re in the valley.”

  the stars, dotted across the night, twinkled and smiled down at you. it was a view that others only romanticized and dreamt of in carefully crafted paintings and poems made to move the soul. and now, this dream was your new home. 

  jungkook mimicked the way you tilted your head up, lost with his own gaze. “i’ve lived here all my life and i never get tired of it.”

  “i can’t believe i forgot about this. . .” you trailed off.

  he pointed out to the sky. “that one is ursa major and you can see - “

  “ - the big dipper,” the two of you said in unison, which led to a shared laughter. 

astronomy was one of your biggest interests growing up, having stacks of books and a tapestry of the night sky in your childhood bedroom. your bedroom in the farmhouse also had a shelf full of astronomy books, which your grandpa still kept until his passing. having ignored the task of organizing and arranging your new bedroom, which was the same room you occupied over your summers in amber valley, you made a note to go through this shelf when you arrived home.

  jungkook said, “you’re the one that taught me about that,” he turned back to you. “you actually used to randomly quiz me on constellations, it was really stressful.”

  you could see your younger self sitting on your grandpa’s porch steps with jungkook, who lazied on the hammock across from you. you would compile actual multiple-choice questions and threw pebbles at him whenever he got an answer wrong. eventually, your grandpa scolded you for that, so you changed your weapon of choice to toy balls.

  “i guess my lessons paid off, though,” you bantered.

  following this, you heard a person shout jungkook’s name. you looked over and saw a man walking in your direction. he was tall and handsome and his smile was inviting. a little too handsome, he reminded you of models you’d seen in high fashion ads. his clothes contributed to the image, a patterned short sleeve button down and t-shirt that gave off neat and put-together. he wore jeans like what seemed to be 90 percent of the town, but you noticed the luxury brand belt. 

  “oh, seokjin!” to this, jungkook nudged you, as if signalling for you to be ready for something.

  this was jin? the birthday boy with a pinata? he had to be around hoseok’s age.

  “hey! hoseok told me to meet him here, have you see him?” seokjin began looking around. “he is working tonight, right?”

  “uh, did he?” jungkook’s tone was not convincing and you couldn’t believe the hoseok made such a horrible liar be the distraction. “i think he is, want me to call him?”

  “um, yeah. he said he was returning something he borrowed from me.” seokjin looked at him strangely. “why don’t i just go inside and check? why are you just waiting out here?”

  “this is y/n!” jungkook suddenly blurted out, seemingly having no way around the conversation. his smile was painful and avoided making eye contact.

  your eyes went wide and seokjin turned to you, having not realized there was another person in his presence. “oh, i’m so sorry! i didn’t see you there.”

  “yeah, hi, that’s me. y/n.” this time, it was jungkook looking at you like you were the least convincing person in the world. you cleared your throat and offered a handshake to seokjin.

  seokjin didn’t seem to notice your awkwardness and took your hand. “it’s really nice to meet you. jungkook actually told me a lot about you!” it was subtle, but you could hear jungkook groan. 

  you raised your eyebrows at jungkook. “oh, did he?” 

  “you guys grew up together, right? and you’re taking over the old farm?” 

  although you could tell right off the bat that seokjin wasn’t from amber valley, his deamanour was just as welcoming and friendly. he asked you a few questions about where you’re from and how settling in was. 

  “i’m sure you’ll be a natural. it sounds like you already have a lot of experience!” seokjin exclaimed and his positivity gave you genuine reassurance. “we’re all friends around here, so don’t be shy to reach out if you need anything.”

  “thank you,” you replied.

  jungkook tried to regain his composure. “seokjin runs the bakery down the street.”

  “yeah! my wife and i used to buy eggs from your grandpa all the time, hopefully we can keep doing that,” seokjin winked at you. 

  then, the front door of the saloon cracked open just enough for hoseok to poke his head outside. there was no sign of activity from the inside, with the lights now off and all voices coming to a complete silence. 

  seokjin tilted his head slightly when looking at hoseok. “there you are. are you. . closed? the bar is closed on a saturday night?” he asked.

  “yeah, uh, plumbing issues,” hoseok’s eyes darted over to you and jungkook. “y/n, jungkook! what brings you here around this time of day? you should all come in!”

  despite the growing skepticsm etched on his face, seokjin glanced over to you two and shrugged. he followed his friend’s gesture to come inside. 

  you mumbled to jungkook, “you and your friends are all terrible liars.” to this, jungkook stifled a laugh and playfully jabbed his elbow into your arm. 

  hoseok opened the door wider and seokjin went in first, while you and jungkook trailed after. you were surprised at how well they made the interior appear deserted, with not a single soul in sight. you did noticed that they even stacked the chairs on the tables, as if the establishment was really closed.

  “by the way, hoseok is the manager of the saloon,” jungkook leaned into your ear and whispered. 

  the floorboards creaked with every step, only adding onto the heavy silence in the atmosphere. seokjin looked around, eyebrows furrowed. he cleared his throat, hoping to cut the awkward tension.

  seokjin started, “so, y/n, what happened with you and ju - “

  “surprise!”

  all of the lights flickered on and filled the room. upbeat music turned on suddenly, causing seokjin to jump and yelp. two dozen or so people popped out from random places - underneath the booths, from behind the walls, and from behind the bar. balloons and streamers began spilling out from out of nowhere.

  “happy birthday seokjin!” everyone yelled in unison.

  you awkwardly tried to join in once you caught onto what everyone was saying. despite that, the high energy ended up engulfing you and you couldn’t help but smile. some of the boys started throwing streamers at seokjin, while namjoon appeared from under the bar with a lit chocolate cake and began approaching the birthday boy in question.

  “thanks, y/n!” hoseok nudged you, as everyone began singing to seokjin. “it’s exciting that you’re around again!” 

  as the song concluded and seokjin enthusastically blew out his candles, you cheered along with everyone else. over the cheering, jungkook found his way to you again. he raised his hand, offering a high-five, which you immediately accepted.

  something about the atmosphere unlocked something inside you. within days, you were welcomed into the community and for the first time in a long time, saw people that could become your actual friends. maybe this was what your grandpa was talking about.

  “yeah,” jungkook added, “it is exciting that you’re around again.”

  “real connections. . .” you muttered to yourself, remembering the contents of your grandpa’s letter.

  the yelling got louder, as the partygoers chanted for seokjin to make a speech. “huh, what did you say?” jungkook shouted over the chanting. 

  “nothing!” 

  you weren’t prepared for the next part of grandpa’s wish for you. it was a surprise to you that you were able to ease into the town and become comfortable connecting with the people around you. at the end of the day, though, you had a farm to run and you were about to face the worst of it. 

  viii. the second storm

your grandpa’s last wishes for you were to reconnect with people and nature. nature. you didn’t realize what you were getting yourself into.

  “oh my god! why does mother nature hate me?!”

  the best thing about living in a big farmhouse by yourself was the fact that you could make as much noise as you wanted. you often found yourself yelling at the top of your lungs, shrieking like a bird when you came across anything frustrating. considering you were learning an entirely new job on your own, it happened quite often.

  you screamed into the void after your first phone call with a vendor, who kept on asking you if you knew what you were doing. you swore you almost broke your vocal cords when you sunk into the mud the first time you checked out the fields after a rainy night. at least you walked away several metres from the coop before you screeched in agony after the chickens gave you a hard morning on time. 

  when a soft knock on your front door interrupted your emotional breakdown, your heart stopped. 

  “fuck!” you whispered to yourself.

  who would be visiting you? what if it was someone important, like mayor kim? maybe they didn’t hear - no, they definitely heard. 

  you tentatively approached the door and took a deep breathe before swinging it open.

  “i didn’t know you started tending to hyenas on the farm.”

  it was jungkook with a lazy, shit-eating grin. it was early in the morning, about 8am, and he wore workout clothes. baggy grey sweatpants and a white nike tank-top, you felt like you were straining to keep your eyes on his face and not anywhere else. 

  “oh, shut it. good morning to you, too,” you shot back. “to what do i owe the pleasure?”

  “sorry, i would’ve texted, but i was already passing by on my run,” jungkook said.

  it’d been about a week since you last saw him, though he was nice enough to check in on you every once in a while to see if you were doing okay with the farm. you hardly left home, used to the same routine of working and going right to bed everyday from your old life and the habit was hard to break. 

  he continued, “anyway, i saw your windows hanging from outside and i just wanted to make sure - “

  you opened the front door wider for him to see the state of your front entryway and his jaw dropped. there was water everywhere on the floor. the storm from the night before was aggressive and the age of the house couldn’t stand it. you didn’t anticipate for it to be this bad, having just shoved the windows closed before you went to bed.

  “yeah, they’re wrecked,” you sighed, looking over to what was left of it, considering most of it was on the ground. “actually, that’s why i was screaming.”

  “you know, i take what i said back. totally justified.”

  “thanks,” you rolled your eyes and sighed. he made a gesture as if to come in and you obliged, carefully stepping aside and making sure you weren’t stepping in a puddle. “i’m surprised this hasn’t happened before.”

  he let out a low whistle, as he walked inside and took in the sight of your floors. “honestly, me neither. you would think this would’ve happened already ages ago.”

  you didn’t know what else to do but shrug. “i can handle it.” despite your words, you certainly could not handle it. there were still a million things you had to take care of around the farm and dealing with broken windows and water was an incredible burden that you didn’t know where to start.

  “shit. look, i have to go to work in a bit, but let me help you out,” jungkook said. 

  you instantly shook your head. “jungkook, no. it’s fine, really, i got it.”

  “you’ve never picked up a screwdriver in your life.”

  “hey, you don’t know that!” you wanted to slap him upside the head like from when you were kids, but found the strength to refrain.

  it was only jokes and jungkook’s smirk showed it, but his tone then became serious. “okay, then, at least let me help you fix your windows. dude, you live alone in this big ass house on this big ass farm. just say yes.” 

  at this point, you could tell he was exasperated with your stubborness and you laughed at it. you weren’t one to turn down someone offering to do manual labour for you, but you were hesitant to show any lack of indepdence. though, something told you to say yes and it wasn’t jungkook’s annoyance with your persistence. 

  “okay, fine. you’re real annoying, you know that?” you had to add in the last part, it was only natural. 

  he shook his head. “thank you - oh, how lucky i am for milady to accept my lousy, peasant self to fix your windows!” at that, you shoved him playfully and when he barely moved from your push, jungkook couldn’t help but chuckle. 

  “i know you’re perfectly capable of doing things yourself, by the way. you just shouldn’t have to all the time,” he gave you a pointed look. 

  you nodded slowly, looking down at your feet. “thank you, jungkook.” 

  though it was only 8 in the morning, you decided to take a later start in the day, since you usually woke up at the crack of dawn. you had your entire day ahead of you and what felt like a hundred things to do and the last thing you wanted to add was a trip to the hardware store.

  “of course,” he carefully tiptoed around the water, moving back to the front door. “it’s what friends are for. i’ll come by tomorrow morning, how’s that sound?”

  this is not what you meant when you decided to “reconnect with nature” at all. with your fluffy indoor slippers soaked in rainwater, you were certainly more than connected with it. you made a mental note to visit the beach and call it a day, hoping that would fulfill your grandpa’s wish for you to be one with mother earth and that the forces of nature would leave you alone after that.

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓. @sstrongstyletyle @wobblewobble822 @seokoutt @firelcrds @taiwan0618

[luvsellie]

MASC ON [e. williams]

pairing high school au!ellie x fem!reader

summary being the new girl in school meant walking in to projects smack-dab in the middle of the year. but when you get assigned to work with the masc girl who sits next to you, there’s no hiding your blatant attraction toward her…and maybe she can’t hide her’s either.

warnings ellie and reader are 18 here (seniors in high school) !! kissing, pining (this is literally just fluff and i wanted an excuse to write for flashback el)

wc 3.9k

note this is incredibly self-indulgent and took me an embarrassing long amount of time to actually write i apologize (title inspiration from the song mask off by future)

“this is so stupid.”

ellie’s complaint compelled you to roll your eyes, a redundant sigh escaping you. “i heard you the last three times you said it.”

your deskmate slumped against the side of her bed, nimble fingers fidgeting with a slightly chewed pen as she watched you create a rough outline of the halle comet on a large poster board—she thought it was more entertaining than trying to gather the essential information your teacher had required to be provided. you could feel her eyes observing every flick and stroke of your pencil as you struggled to copy the image from your laptop.

the task had deemed itself to be more complicated than you thought, and after one more final attempt, you tossed the writing utensil to the side in frustration. “this is so stupid.”

snorting at your disgruntled attitude, ellie reached for the pencil. “how about this; i’ll draw and you get the stats. i’m dying of boredom over here.” she shuffled closer before you could object, shoving her textbook your way.

not bothering to argue, you grabbed your backpack and started to sift through the supplies you had brought along to her house. markers, pens, pencils, scissors, binder…

removing your binder from your bag you flipped it open, only to be met with other assignments and notes from varying classes. groaning, you said over a shoulder, “ellie do you have notebook paper?”

“yeah—top drawer of my desk,” she answered without looking in your direction, her short hair falling to cover the side of her face.

nodding to yourself, you shoved your things back in your bag and stood, making your way toward her desk. it was rather cluttered, which didn’t shock you in the least, but still organized in probably a way only ellie would understand.

you grabbed the first drawer’s handle and gently pulled, exposing the mess that was inside. grumbling to yourself about how ellie couldn’t possibly be able to find anything in this chaos, you began to poke through her things. managing to spot a spare journal—which you noted was not looseleaf paper like you had asked—you carefully maneuvered the notebook out from underneath all of her art supplies.

hip-thrusting the drawer shut, you flipped the journal open, eager to get on with the research you did not want to do, simply to get this project over with. but as you overturned lined pages, you came to realize this was a sketchbook—and you were the starring subject.

“ellie,” you called, eyes trained on a drawing of you slumped over a book in the school library (you recalled this day rather vividly).

the auburn-haired girl finally looked up from her spot on the carpeted floor. she quickly realized what was in your hands. “shit,” she couldn’t help but mutter in panic. ellie rushed to her feet, already reaching to take the sketchbook from you. “sorry, you weren’t supposed to-”

you said her name again, interrupting her explanation with “you would’ve saved me a lot of time had you been the one to draw that ridiculous comet from the get-go.”

ellie’s arm fell to her side, and she tried to calm her racing heart with a deep inhale. she scratched the back of her neck sheepishly, invisible strings tugging on the corners of her mouth when she realized you weren’t pissed at her. “yeah, i guess you’re right.” she paused before adding, “you’re a really shitty artist.”

your eyes flickered to hers immediately, and you snapped the journal shut before smacking her left upper arm with it. “hey! i tried my best, okay? we can’t all be as talented as you.”

“got that right,” ellie mused, her familiar easygoingness making a return. she stuck a hand out. “can i please have my sketchbook back?”

you kissed the back of your teeth, giving her a look of contemplation as you hugged the object in your hand a little closer to your chest. “mm, i don’t know. i was thinking about going through it some more. i mean, i barely got to see anything.”

ellie’s eyebrows shot up. “seriously?”

“seriously,” you told her with a nod, taking a step closer to the desk behind you.

her hand dropped, and you swore that something flashed across her face, but before you could identify what it had disappeared. maybe i’m pushing it, you thought suddenly, growing aware of the way you were holding onto something that she probably poured her heart and soul into.

across from you, ellie adjusted her stance before shrugging. “alright. have fun, i guess. i just need it back tomorrow by 6th period.”

you blinked at her words, dumbfounded by her compliance. watching her return to the poster board on the floor, you held the little journal closer, already making note of what you would be doing later when you returned home.

ellie liked to draw you. she supposed it was rather obvious, but seeing the way your eyes widened as you observed her drawings made her second guess. had she really not been that apparent? she guessed not. and while she was excited to let you take her sketchbook home, she was more nervous.

it was very hard to sleep that night, and only when the small illuminated numbers on her alarm clock struck two a.m. did she finally manage to doze off.

“you look a little…rough,” dina said, cringing at her own word choice.

ellie ran a hand through her hair as she walked beside the shorter girl. “thanks. i hadn’t noticed.”

dina ignored the jab. “i can’t believe you actually gave it to her. hell, you never even let me touch that thing…and you’ve only known her for, like, two weeks! i am feeling a little betrayed, but it’s whatever.”

“letting her look at it just…felt right? i don’t know how to explain it. she doesn’t seem like someone who’d become suddenly disgusted by me drawing her way before we ever started talking,” ellie confessed, spotting the door to her earth and space class.

“ouch.” dina grabbed ellie’s arm, pulling her to an empty wall. “first of all, i wouldn’t be disgusted by you if i was her. secondly, stop being nervous. there’s no need for all of that.”

“i’m not nervous,” she objected immediately.

the brown-eyed girl stared blankly at her. “yes, you are. you’re more fidgety than normal. just go in there, sit down, and wait for her to walk in. you said she normally gets to class practically right before the bell rings?”

“yeah, she comes from the other side of the building.”

“perfect! now go.” dina shoved her friend in the direction of the classroom, waving her off with a smile.

sighing through her nose, ellie entered the room, greeted her teacher, and visibly sagged when she noticed you weren’t in your seat yet. there’s still some time, she thought to herself, not realizing that you had walked in behind her until you said: 

“hey, el, you’re kinda in the way.”

you watched as ellie turned to face you, her eyes wide as she whirled. “you got here fast,” she stated bluntly.

shrugging, you moved past her to walk toward your desk. as you sat you said, “class was in the library today since they were using our room for testing.”

ellie nodded from in front of you, still standing. you noticed how aloof she was acting. “are you gonna sit?” you asked, gesturing to the desk beside you.

“yes,” she said hastily, pulling back her chair. she landed with a thud. slouching against the back of her seat, she looked at you and continued, “you brought the poster in, right? this morning?”

your mouth pressed into a thin line. “yes, ellie, i brought the poster in. but we’re not presenting today anyway, so had i forgotten, we’d still be okay.”

“god, that is such a relief,” she sighed, leaning her head back to stare at the speckled tile ceiling and roll her tense shoulders.

“agreed,” you breathed while hauling your bag into your lap. unzipping it, you pulled out the familiar brown journal. “here. back to you before 6th period. just like you said.”

ellie took her notebook cautiously, setting it on her desk as she glanced at you.

“why’re you looking at me like that?” you asked skeptically, lowering your voice to a whisper as your teacher started class at the front of the room. “if you didn’t want me to take it then why did you give it to me in the first place?”

the girl beside you shook her head, leaning her body closer. you stared at the outline of her tattoo as she said, “i wanted you to take it. i’m just nervous that you look at me differently now.” 

your eyebrows shot upward, both taken back and confused by her answer. “why would i even-” you turned to face her. “ellie, i don’t look at you ‘differently’ because you draw me. i think it’s rather sweet, actually.”

ellie was bewildered by your words, recalling what dina had said earlier about how she would have loved it if she were drawing her. maybe she had been right. licking her chapped lips, she shifted in her seat, as if she were going to say something, but snapped her head to the front when the teacher said her name sternly.

“miss williams i need you to pay attention, please. this has to do with the project, and i will not be happy when you decide to ask me something i already explained to the class,” the man up front lectured, making both you and ellie sit a little straighter in your seats.

you sent ellie an apologetic look when she glimpsed in your direction. as your teacher moved on from his scolding, you grabbed her sketchbook from her desk and flipped it open to a clean page, pen in hand.

meet me at my locker after school? you wrote quickly, pushing it over for her to see.

ellie grabbed the writing utensil you gave her. i have basketball practice after school :(

frowning, you exaggerated a sigh, shooting a playful eye roll her way as you scribbled out a reply. then i’ll come by the locker room after practice. there—problem solved.

problem solved. ellie wrote back with a grin, nodding at your solution.

“i am incredibly stupid. what was i even thinking?”

jesse was quick to shoot down your self-loathing, his shoulder brushing up against yours as he walked you in the direction of the girl's locker room. “no, you’re not. you were bold. there’s a difference.”

you pressed your lips into a thin line, cheeks slightly puffing out before you kissed the back of your teeth. anxiously running a hand over your face, you said, “well…is there really?”

“yes,” your friend quipped.

rolling your eyes, you shoved jesse jokingly as someone came walking out of the locker room. you instantly recognized dina in her cheerleading outfit, a knowing smile making its way onto your lips. the girl from your history class had always been super friendly.

“dina!” you called, earning a low groan from jesse.

the cheerleader grinned immediately, though you recognized its falter when she spotted her ex by your side. “hey! what’re you doing in the athletic building?” she made a show of not acknowledging jesse.

“i’m here for ellie!” you told her with a toothy smile, fidgeting with the straps of your backpack.

dina’s eyes widened with realization, but her bubbly appearance didn’t feign. she pointed a thumb toward the door she had come out of. “oh! she’s the last one still in the locker room, which i suppose you might’ve already known?”

shaking your head, you said, “yeah, i told her i’d meet her after basketball practice had finished.”

“well don’t let me keep you here then,” dina exclaimed, stepping out of the way to the door with the tiny woman’s symbol on it.

you nodded as you stepped past her, only looking over your shoulder to say, “i’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

“yep!” dina confirmed.

jesse shot you a reassuring grin as you disappeared into the dimly lit hallway that hosted the coaches’ offices.

heart beginning to race, you pulled the door handle to the locker room and forced your legs to move. the fluorescent lights were harsh against your eyes, your chest constricting with nerves as you walked past bathroom stalls, sinks, and floor-length mirrors. you couldn't remember the last time you had been in a locker room.

finally coming up on the athletic lockers (they were on a completely separate wall from the regular physical education lockers), you started to hear shuffling.

“ellie?” you called out, trying your best to not sound like you wanted to abandon this idea entirely.

as you passed a few more of the athletic cages, you spotted the girl you were searching for. her lack of a shirt made you balk.

turned toward the lockers, ellie passed a towel through her wet hair, arms tense with movement. you admired the taunt muscles of her back, her damp skin littered with small, but visible, freckles.

she hadn’t noticed your presence.

you cleared your throat promptly, offering her a smile when she turned around. trying not to be distracted by her toned arms and abdomen, you said, “hi ellie. hope i didn’t catch you at a bad time?”

she shook her head, mouth curling into something between a genuine grin and a satisfied smirk. “hey…and no, you caught me at a really good time, actually. practice ended about 45 minutes ago.”

nodding, you took a few steps closer. “yeah, i know. i asked a friend when practices normally end. figured me being a little ‘late’ would benefit. didn’t want to catch you before you had time to shower.”

“ouch,” she said, reaching to grab for her dirty practice t-shirt in her locker. ellie looked over her shoulder as you halted.

something about the way her eyes glinted made you deadpan, “if you throw that at me i will turn around and leave right now.”

chuckling to herself, ellie shook her head. “calm down, i’m not throwing anything at anyone.” she dramatically put the shirt and a pair of folded athletic shorts in a drawstring backpack before shoving it back into the locker.

“you are so annoying,” you snapped at her, moving to sit on the wooden bench placed directly in the middle nook of lockers. as you sat, you caught a whiff of sharp mahogany and cheap cologne.

ellie’s eyebrows raised, her shoulders leaning to press against the cool metal behind her. “and yet here you are, going out of your way to meet me in the back of the locker room after school.”

part of you was certain she made emphasis on the phrase ‘back of the locker room.’

shooting her a glare, though, you straightened as you said, “i said you were annoying, not that i didn’t like you.” there was a pregnant silence before you added, “besides, i wanted to ask if you wanted to go get coffee with me.” you watched ellie’s lips pull back in disgust, your heart dropping in an instant. “or not. sorry, i didn’t-”

“how about we go get dinner instead?” she interrupted. “coffee’s disgusting and i’m starving.”

blinking at her words, you licked your lips. “yeah. yes. that works.” it took you a moment to regain your composure. shit, i almost blew that. “i didn’t know you hated coffee.”

ellie turned and grabbed a hair tie. as she put half of her hair up—somehow in the most attractive way you might add—she said, “oh, yeah. that shit is gross.”

“um, have you even tried it?” you asked doubtfully, mouth forming into a frown. when the auburn-haired girl stayed quiet and instead clasped a thin silver chain around her neck you guessed her answer was clean no. 

you scoffed as you nudged her sock-covered foot. “i’m going to force you to try mine the next time i bring some.”

“sounds great,” ellie said sarcastically, a grin tugging on her lips. her smile sent chills sprawling down your spine.

shrugging off your backpack, you set it by your feet, muttering out a barely audible, “fuck.” you had no idea where this conversation was going, and your attempt at asking her out on a date had been a bust…sort of?

ellie had declined coffee and suggested dinner, but it still sounded like it fit more under the category of  ‘hangout as friends.’ talking to her was sometimes like talking to a brick wall. masc’s are so fucking clueless, you thought, releasing a heavy sigh through your nose. or maybe i’m not being obvious enough?

“what?” she asked at your suddenly agitated (as she’d describe it) attitude, wetting her chapped lips as she went to sit next to you. lifting a leg over the bench, she sat, body facing yours as she man-spreaded for comfort—her proximity and stature reminded you that she was still very much shirtless…and somehow way better at this (you weren’t sure what this even entitled) than you were.

goosebumps spread across the skin of your upper arms. you shifted, pulling up a knee to rest on the wood as you trailed off, eyes avoiding hers, “you’re just so…”

her head tilted, eyes narrowing as she leaned closer. there was no way she didn’t notice the way you sucked in a breath. “i’m so what? look at me when you talk,” she said.

your gaze snapped toward hers, but first flickered to the swell of her mouth.

“i’m so what?” she repeated, her voice lowering an octave. when you said nothing, she added, “cat got your tongue?”

between her teasing and the adrenaline coursing through your body, you were compelled to do the only thing you could think of to shut her up—to make her drop the questions. swallowing the lump building in your throat, you grabbed her face, thumbs pressing against her warm cheeks, and kissed her with unmistakable want.

although ellie hadn’t expected for you to be so physically direct, she did not mind it at all. following the rough pace you had set, she kissed you back with just as much ferocity, her fingers slipping into the belt loops of your jeans to slide herself forward and you closer.

you mewled at her movement, the pressure between your thighs growing as intensely as you were kissing her. she was quick to regain control of the situation you had thrust upon her.

“ellie,” you mumbled against her mouth, your eyes half-shut as she tugged on your jeans a second time.

“come here,” she told you hastily, lips trailing toward your left ear. “sit on my lap.” she kissed your temple. “please.”

shuddering at her request, you wasted no time in pulling away, pushing yourself off the bench, and situating your legs over hers in a straddle position.

the heat from ellie’s skin seeped through the fabric of your shirt, her hands slipping past the hem. you found yourself arching instinctively to her venturing touch, your stomach twisting into tight knots.

“you are going to make me go insane,” she confessed, her words coming out in a whisper, leaning in to kiss you again. her lips were gentler against yours, eager to savor the moment.

in turn, you indulged in letting your palms trace the sculpted muscles of her arms, fingers trailing every dip and curve from her years of work in the weight room. “you are so beautiful,” you told her delicately, relishing the way her skin burned under yours.

ellie followed the compliment, her hands finding your face and forcing you to look at her. green eyes etched with something between lust and admiration, she thumbed a corner of your mouth. “do you have any idea what you do to me?” she whispered. “from the moment you walked into that classroom…”

her words died in her throat and she swallowed thickly as you shook your head. “don’t do that. not here.”

“do what?” she questioned, adjusting her position on the bench.

the friction between your legs forced you to release a shaky breath, and you licked your lips in an attempt to focus on bringing your thoughts into coherent sentences. she was making it extremely hard. “i want to talk about this over dinner,” you told her hoarsely. “about what we are now. about what you want us to be.”

“are you saying you want to go on a date?” she asked quietly.

you couldn’t help your sudden smile. “i asked you earlier when i mentioned coffee, but you instantly shut that idea down.”

ellie rolled her eyes, though you could sense her pang of guilt. “you weren’t very clear on the date part. otherwise, i would’ve said yes immediately.”

surprise feigned your features. “you? saying yes to a coffee date?”

“oh, ha-ha.” she exaggerated the fake laugh. “and yes, had i known you were asking me out i would've sacrificed my comfort for your enjoyment. honestly, i think i do that quite often—as of right now i think my tailbone is being bruised.”

you sucked in harshly, moving off her with urgency as you shoved her shoulder with a hand. “why didn’t you say anything?!”

“and risk not feeling you up? yeah, no thanks.” her tone was definite.

your jaw fell slack as you crossed your arms over your chest, confounded by her response. “you can still feel me up without me in your lap, dummy.”

“yeah, but that sounds less fun,” ellie teased, holding up her hands in defense. she stood from her seat, reaching around you to grab her baseball t-shirt from earlier. as she put her arms through the sleeves she said, “i have a game tomorrow. you should come watch.”

you scrunched your nose jokingly, deciding to use her words against her. “and see you all sweaty? yeah, no thanks.”

ellie straightened out her shirt, shooting you a rather bemused look in the process. “how do you know you won’t like seeing me all sweaty and worn out?”

as she hunched down to pull on her converse, you exhaled heavily, unable to come up with something witty. mainly because she was right. you would totally like to see her all sweaty and worn out. so, with a slight bruise to your ego, you itched your nape, mumbling out, “i never said i wouldn’t like that. you always assume shit about me.”

“and you always assume shit about me, so we’re even,” ellie shot back, standing back up. she grabbed her backpack from inside the locker before changing the subject. “where do you wanna go for dinner?”

you shrugged, reaching down for your own bag. swinging it over a should, you said, “i don’t know. whatever you want. and you’re right, i do assume shit about you. like right now, for instance, i’m assuming you’re a picky eater.”

“i am not a picky eater.” she shut down your claim with a light kick to your shoe. “and fine, i’ll pick something and surprise you. did you drive to school today?”

you shook your head. “no.”

“great, looks like you’re sticking with me then.” she tried and failed to hide her cheeky smile. closing her locker, she grabbed your hand, hastily leading you toward the main hallway of the locker room. “come on.”

trailing after her, you felt your cheeks heat with the prompt realization of your reality. maybe you’d have to thank your earth and space teacher for assigning that stupid comet project. the steady growth of your relationship with ellie made your insides twist with pure excitement, and as she rambled about how much you would enjoy her restaurant of choice, you couldn't help but succumb to the feeling of pure bliss.

[gr4veyardsblog]

can you please write hazel x cheerleader!reader where hazel has a massive crush on/obsession with reader and either doesn't speak to her at all out of fear or says the dumbest shit because she's so flustered but reader finds it cute?

Not so obvious.

Summary: Hazel has a big crush on reader but is too scared to even talk to her which makes reader begin to think she hates her

A/n : I’m sorry if this is bad but I haven’t written in like 5 years would love some tips in the comments or anything thank you just need to let my feelings out on my obsesión with Hazel- 😼

It was obvious Hazel didn’t like you. How could u not know with her always running off when you come even remotely close to her.

“Hey hazel” you practically yell at you spot her by her locker barely getting there and reaching for a book. But as quick as you see her, as quick as she disappears.

Another time you spot her having a conversation with pj and Josie but this time in class so thought there was no way she could go anywhere. Boy were you wrong.

“Hey guys” just as you were coming up you see hazel speed walk out the classroom door.

Your shoulders slump as you feel slightly off putted by the erupt exit.

———————————————

“Just talk to her” pj said with annoyance in her voice

“It’s not that simple rather just ignore it and act like it doesn’t exist” Hazel says shrugging her shoulders and shaking her head

“Dude it’s way better than you just leaving like she has some sort of virus or something

Hazel shakes her head and sees u walking towards them and quickly looks around for an exit route but thoughts are cut short by your body coming I to view

“Hey guys I was wondering what you guys were doing after school”

Hazel stops listening as she thinks to herself that this is finally her chance to talk to you. Just say hey how are you you look really pretty today. No she’ll think your a total loser today

Suddenly she blurts out as pj is explaining what the club is.

“I love woman “ all three stop and look at her. The tip of her ears turning a bright red eyes widen not believing she said that

“I-I think what she means if we all love and want to suppprt woman” pj said trying to save the conversation

“ so if ur into that stuff you should totally stop by and i don’t know if u want to , bring some of your friends with you like idk” she pretends to think “ maybe Isabel and Brittany for instance just throwing that out there”

Josie shakes her head and grabs pjs arm

“Uh yea I’ll see if they wanna come. I’ll see you all later “ you say walking off after they both said their byes except Hazel

Hazel comes out of her shock and shakes her head

“ what was that” pj said looking at Hazel

“I don’t know it just came out”

“Dude u need serious help if that’s how you flirt “

“ you don’t just blurt I love woman ur lucky I saved your ass”

————————————————————————

“ always be on time “

Pj turns around being cut off with the sound of the gym door opening and seeing you, Isabel and Brittany walk in

“You guys haven’t started right” you chirp out

“No your just in time we were about to start our lesson”

You all sit in a circle awaiting instructions on what is going to happen next.

“Ok we are gonna have two people in the middle fighting- training in self defense”

“First pair” pj looks around the circle smiling to herself and stops at you “y/n and uhh idk hazel”

Hazel freezes and looks at pj with wide eyes as you both stand up and go into the middle

You both begin to circle each other no one making a move to hit the other

“Cmon Hazel! HIT HER! “ hazel widens her eyes too scared to talk to you let alone touch you but goes for it and swings her hand with barely any force to hurt a fly, it slightly grazing your chin

It’s quickly over shadowed by you swinging your fist and it coming into contact with hazels nose

Hazel drops to the floor. Blood all over her nose as you rush down worried

“I’m so sorry Hazel here I’ll help you take care of it”

You help her up you wrapping her arm around your neck as you support her body weight under you as to not drop her.

————————————————————————

You grap a paper towel and run it under the faucet and bring to hazels nose as she sits on the counter of the girls bathroom

She slightly hisses but quickly stops as you lay your hand on her thigh

“I’m so sorry Hazel” you say “ you probably hate me more than what you already do I bet”

Hazes brows furrowed as she looked at you with confusion slapped on her face

“You think I hate you?”

“Well duh, you always leave when I come by or just flat out ignore me when I’m talking to you or to anyone around you. Just assumed the obvious”

Hazle just shook her head and grabbed the paper towel from your hand.

“Hate you? That’s far from it.” She takes a deep breathe this is the time to do it, it’s now or never “i just get so nervous and scared that I’m gonna say the dumbest thing around you. Then you’ll hate me and god how can I recovery from that” she goes on rambling but let’s out a big breathe and calms herself down.

“What I’m trying to say is, I like you more than like you “

You pause and turn a light shade of red not believing what your hearing

“If I could explain in words I would but I could not express how I jamble over my words because of how much I- “ she stops cut off by you grabbing the sides of her face and crashing your lips into hers.

She leans in eyes fluttered close as she lets out a sigh of relieve from the fact that she now knows that you actually like her back.

[chocolatechipkiki]

~Oblivious~

LokixReader Fluff-Shot

Word Count: 2,415

Warnings: Absolutely large amounts of fluff up ahead! That's it! Summary: Loki and you were spending the evening of your anniversary in a calm and gentle way. During your time together, Loki brings up the first time you two realize the other had feelings for them and enjoys recounting the story to you as you loved.

This is written for @sarahscribbles Birthday Celebration! It's only my fourth finished one-shot for Loki ever, so I hope I actually meet some of your standards! I used the prompt "Are you really so oblivious?" which I put in bold in the text!

*****

"Do you remember when you found out that I had feelings for you?" Loki said, his eyes crinkled up in delight. His cheeks were pink in the soft candlelight and he held a glass full of wine, leaning against the marble countertop of the washroom. 

Y/N, seated in the bathtub a few feet away, giggled and set her own glass down. "By the norns, Loki, why must you always bring this up?" she asked, but her tone told him she wanted to relive the memory anyways. Loki smirked and rolled his eyes. 

"Honestly, I still don't know how you couldn't tell I was madly in love with you," he said. "I was a righteous and noble Prince, yet I was nothing more than a muttering mess when you were around." He pushed himself off the counter and closed the distance between the two of them, sitting down on the edge of the tub and tucking a few wet strands of Y/N's hair behind her ear. She smiled, looking into his blue eyes with pure adoration. 

"Yet you never told me anything until you were jealous of your brother," she quipped, wriggling her eyebrows at him. He chuckled, a delightful sound that Y/N would never grow tired of hearing. She smiled as he recounted the two days leading up to his jealousy, his smile never leaving his lips.

It had been the middle of winter, and Y/N was good friends with both of the Odinsons since meeting them the year prior. The three of them did everything together - so much so that Y/N had to designate times to spend alone with each of them, or they would bicker and send her into a flurry of chastising. These two particular days had been exceptionally hard on Loki, as his mother was off with Odin, writing up a peace treaty with the neighboring realm. Loki hadn't spent much time away from Frigga, and the toll it was taking on him hadn't been especially kind.

Y/N was patient with him, though. She had slept in his room so he wouldn't be alone. It spoke novels to Loki, as he was afraid to even ask something of her to begin with, and she had offered to do so before any words left his mouth. But Loki had woken to an empty room the next morning, which left him rather crestfallen.

Y/N was off spending time out in the city with Thor and Lady Sif, commissioning a weapon smith for new daggers. They decided to make a day out of it - buying goods from stalls filled with burly men that intrigued them and snacking on treats from plump women that knew how to bake. There was lots of laughter as Thor recounted the many battles he experienced with Sif, always ending in her punching him on the arm playfully. As time went on, the sun began to set, and the three of them made their way back to the palace. 

When they arrived, they found Loki in the dining hall, sitting alone with a book and a few plates of barely touched food. He hadn't looked up when they entered rather noisily, still laughing with each other over some story of Thor mistakenly fighting a rock. As they sat down, Loki stood up. Y/N attempted to make conversation with him, but he didn't acknowledge her once - leaving the room and his dinner behind. 

Y/N paid no mind to his lack of openness, and instead drank heavily with Thor, Sif, and the Warriors Three as they joined them for the meal. She fell asleep that night in her own room, and woke up long after the sun had risen the next day. When she had come down to the dining hall again for breakfast, Loki was nowhere to be seen, and she hadn't noticed again because Thor was already being his usual, loud self. He greeted Y/N with eagerness, asking if she was still on for their spar session in a few. She agreed, and the two of them headed out to the training grounds after she shoveled some eggs into her mouth quickly. 

It was in the silence of the courtyard that Y/N finally realized how absent Loki had been, so she asked Thor if he knew anything.

"Is there ever a time where there's not something wrong with my brother?" he retorted, grabbing the wooden hammer off of one of the weapons racks. Y/N sighed as she took hold of the wooden daggers.

"I know Loki usually gets like this when Frigga leaves, but this time it feels... Different." She took her fighting stance, beckoning Thor to make the first move. He only laughed, throwing his head back and placing a hand to his stomach.

"The words 'Loki' and 'different' always seem to find themselves in the same sentence," he said, smiling down at Y/N with amusement. "But I don't see this as anything out of the ordinary." He patted her on the shoulder and took his fighting stance. "Come on, Lady Y/N, I don't want you distracted while I kick your ass."

The two of them sparred for hours, keeping warm against the cold winter air by keeping their bodies moving. But soon the chill was too much and snow started falling, so Y/N sought refuge inside. She wandered to the library for her upcoming "date" with Loki as she settled on the idea of waiting in front of the fire in there for him to show up. 

To her surprise, she found Loki already splayed out on his back in front of the fireplace reading as usual, and his eyes darted to meet hers as she approached him. She knew her footsteps were silent, but he still was aware of her presence. He quickly sat up and drew his legs underneath him, leaning back against the bottom of the love seat that sat opposite of the fireplace. 

Y/N continued making her way to him and plopped down next to him, leaning over to see what he was reading. "What's this? I thought we were reading something else, today," she said cheerily. He only shrugged his shoulders in response, so she continued. "Thor and I had a wonderful time outside today. But the sky had other plans for us, and we had to come inside early. Maybe we can go for a stroll in the snow later. I know how much you love this type of weather." She smiled at him, but he paid her no mind as he continued to stare at the pages in his hand. Her brows furrowed and she reached over to place a hand on his thigh, but he tensed so quickly that her hand paused mid air, before dropping back down to her lap. "Are you okay, Lo?" she asked, hoping the nickname only she was allowed to use would make him ease up a bit.

It only made him tense more, and he rolled his eyes before dropping the book down to his lap rather aggressively. "No, Y/N, as a matter of fact, I'm not okay," he said. Hearing his voice made her relax a bit. He's not giving her the silent treatment anymore, at least. But his tone was off, and she assumed it to be because of Frigga's absence.

"Hey, you know she will return tomorrow, right?" she said softly, hoping to rid him of his worries. Loki scoffed and went back to his book. Y/N's face reflected confusion as she turned so her whole body was facing him. "Is that not what troubles you?" 

With a huff he set his book down again, turning to face her now. "Are you really so oblivious?" he asked. When Y/N's face showed no recognition, he placed a hand to his temple and closed his eyes. 

"Loki, I'm so confused," she said, now placing her hand on top of his. He pulled back and stared into her eyes with a look of longing.

"You spend the entire night in my room, and what, you think because I miss my mother?" he spit, hurt clouding his tone. "Then you abandon me before the sun even rises, spend the entire day with my brother, and still you have no idea what could possibly be souring my mood?" 

Y/N's heart flutters as she looks at him, but her mind screams warnings at her. She had always been so careful around him - not because he was fragile, but because, selfishly, she didn't want to ruin the moments between them that she found herself looking forward to every day. She had suspected that there might be more to her longing to lie next to him as he read the newest stories of the books he collected, but she told herself time and time again that if he had felt the same way about her, he would have said something. For him to be confirming her suspicions now, after all this time... Surely she must be misunderstanding.

Searching his eyes for some hint that he was messing with her, Y/N opened her mouth to speak, but shut it again as the words refused to form coherent sentences in her head. Her cheeks flushed from embarrassment at her insensibility. The only thing she could squeak out was a measly little "I'm sorry," before she grabbed his hands and held them. She turned them over in her own, admiring each and every crease of his palms, every ridge of his knuckles, and the curve of his perfectly manicured fingernails. He simply let her, feeling his frustration dissipate with her warm touch complimenting his cool temperature. 

After sitting like that for a long while, Loki finally looked up and met her gaze with hesitation. He now searched her eyes for any trace of uneasiness before he found himself leaning in slowly. Y/N bit the inside of her cheek as she glanced down at his lips, suddenly overwhelmed with the need to press her own to them with feverish desperation. But Loki paused when they were inches apart, and his voice lowered to an unsteady whisper, her name spilling out of his mouth so delicately, she wished she could reach out and capture the sound forever.

"By the norns, I have dreamt of telling you how I feel for many moons, but every time I wanted to, I couldn't find the words..." he said, lifting his hand to brush a few loose strands of her hair behind her ear. She closed her eyes gently, leaning into his touch like she needed it. Her heart drummed symphonies in her chest, and he didn't move his hand away immediately. Surely he could feel how quickly her blood flowed through her body with the flittering pulse in her neck, but if he had, he paid it no mind as he spoke the words she had been longing to hear. "I have loved you from the moment we met, darling."

Y/N chanced opening her eyes and was met with the most adoration filled expression she'd ever seen. She felt her heart now skip a few beats as her body took over, placing her hands to his shoulders and pulling him forward until their lips met. She kissed him gently, fireworks exploding behind her eyelids as his hands snaked down to her waist. He held her firmly, like she would change her mind if he wasn't careful enough. When they finally pulled away, Y/N placed her forehead to his and smiled sheepishly. 

"I love you, too, Loki," she said, lacing her fingers into his black strands and stroking his scalp with soft precision. She had done the same thing many times before, but something else sparked a different noise to escape his kiss-bruised lips, and his eyes fluttered shut. 

"Stars, sweetling, I've waited eons to hear those words from your lips," he said breathily, his smile giddy as he pulled back to properly look at her. "And I've never imagined they would sound this good."

*** 

Y/N giggled as she downed the last sip of wine in her glass. Loki leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Those words still make my knees weak and my head spin when you say them," he said, pouring warm water on her shoulders. He had begun bathing her as he recounted the delightful story, and she was loving every second of it. She smiled up at him, setting her empty glass down and relishing in everything about this moment.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," she repeated, watching as his lips quirked up into that smirk of his she loved so much. Loki chuckled and rubbed circles into her wet back, leaning over and pulling the drain plug.

"If you want to ruin the magic of those words darling, I promise you'll need to do a lot more than echo them at me. I could listen to you say that all day." He stood and grabbed a few towels, wrapping them around Y/N as she stood and stepped out of the tub. He leaned down and pecked her nose, which only made her giggle incessantly as he lead her out of the washroom. He dried her off with the towels and took them back over to the basket next to the washroom door. While he did this, she slipped into the bed, sitting up with her back against the headboard. 

Loki undressed, joined her in bed, and laid his head on her lap. Y/N reached to scratch his scalp out of habit, and he let out the same loving groan he did every time since that day. "I still love when you do that," he said, letting his eyes close as he relished in the feeling.

"And I still love you," Y/N responded, leaning her head back and sighing peacefully. Loki smirked once again, nuzzling his head further into her hands. 

"I love you, too."

[gasolinehornet]

Silly snippet of something im writing😝😝

--- 575 words, regulus black narrates idiots

“Youre my best friend, you know that. Right rosie? “

“Of course, best friends for life. “

Jesus christ, how stupid can these two idiots be?

Regulus glared at them harshly. and barty who sat facing him, unlike evan who was stadning in the middle of the fucking room staring at barty, noticed and gave him a furrowed eyebrows look as if saying 'what?? ' but with his weird face.

Regulus rolled his eyes,

If they're gonna be absolute buffoons then im leaving, fuck this shit.

Regulus got up and left the dorm. What else was he to do?? Just sit there and hold back the “you're both in love with eachother!! “ that he was screaming over and over in his head?

No, he'd rather drown in a puddle of piranhas than listen to them being stupid.

'Best friends for life' my arse.

He'd knock some sense into them if he could. Just throw a punch right in the sides of their miserable faces. Too bad he's too spindly to do that, promise, he would if he could! But his arms are deflated from doing nothing else than catch a snitch during quidditch.

Which hes awsome at by the way

He went to look for his other two friends in hope of less stupidity.

If only there was a map of this place somewhere. It would be much more convenient

He looked around the common room, no pandora or dorcas.

Continue on.

He walked into the halls, looked around, no dorcas or Pandora.

Continue on.

He walked into the library, looked around, and a white head of hair was situated at near the back of the room. Together with three others. He walked over, but when he recognized who she was with he started dramatically frowning.

Remus and james?? Really Pandora? This woman has to get better taste in study friends.

Dorcas was also there, sat opposite of Pandora. He nodded at dorcas as she looked up and smiled at him, “oh, regulus! How nice of you to join us. “ she said.

Pandora who sat oppisite her spoke up, “oh yes, i was just talking with Remus and potter about the forest nymphs that are nibbling on my shoes; leaving holes! “ god he loved pandora and her weird mind, “i think they're hungry, the school should take notice to it. What if they start eating students? “, regulus smiled and sat down next to her.

With dora and lupin to the side of him, and cas and potter opposite. He took out his book,

“well then i hope they go for the teachers first, sacrifice the old. “ dorcas said

“i hope they take slughorn first, can't stand that guy. “ potter added

well, potter, Just because you're shit at potions doesn't mean you should blame it on slughorn. You should blame it on your small brain and stupid glasses

“Well i don't see how slughorn deserves this” regulus heard himself say, potter looked at him

Geez, since when did this guy actually become good looking? Damn, smash.

WOAH! Who said that

“Well he gives me horrible grades every year, even tho he knows that i try reslly hard in his classes!“ he blinks out of his head and looks at potter again, “i think hes just being cruel to me, i didnt deserve shit characters”

He may be hot, but he is a hell of an annoying guy..

Still smash tho

[eastwindmlk]

Based on @goldenlionprince's day 2 of Jilypad week we have a little Sirius and Lily moment. Did I intent this to be a drabble and then wrote 957 words? Yes. Could I write more? Also yes.

“What year?” Lily asked, her legs curled up under the blanket she’d crocheted Sirius during their seventh year. Well, she’d made it for herself but then Sirius would steal it so often she’d decided that it must be the universe telling her that she had made it for him. The way it was ever present, the way it had started to wear and fray where the squares connected, told a similar tale as the cracked spines and annotated, dog-eared pages of his favourite books. 

Sirius held up the deep brown, round-bellied bottle as he squinted at the wax seal. “Haven’t the foggiest,” he replied after a moment of quiet deliberation. “But since when has Uncle Alphard’s collection ever disappointed us?” 

“Uhm that white from 1939?” Lily suggested after a moment of silent deliberation, her fingers absently plucking at a loose strand, tugging a little too hard and watching a few stitches coming undone. “I should make you a new one,” she added in an off-hand tone, informing that she would rather than put it up for discussion.

Sirius just looked at her, his eyebrows low, his lips slightly pursed before letting out a single, unamused chuckle. “No, you shan’t,” he told her firmly, rolling his eyes—rather dramatically, according to her—before producing a bottle opener. “Also, that white was just fine after we turned it into risotto, so I am considering it a win.”

She couldn’t help it, she knew that she shouldn’t but really who as going to blame her? Anyone with eyes would be doing what she was doing now, shamelessly watching his lean-muscled hand curl around the handle of the corkscrew. Watched the ripple of muscle as he pulled, and then bask in the satisfied smile curl onto his lips. 

Lily knew better than to keep staring and dropped her eyes to the unravelling stitches. “It’s starting to fall apart though,” she remarked and tied the ravelling string off in the hopes of keeping it from getting worse. 

“Well, maybe if you don’t spill wine all over it- Again! - Then maybe it’ll keep a little longer. I’m rather attached to it.” His words coaxed her eyes back up to his to protest his outrageous accusation. 

“That was once!” she protested, sniffing indignantly. Sirius only needed to level her a look before Lily deflated and turned her eyes to the ceiling. “Fine, Tw-three times.”

Sirius flashed her a shit-eating grin while pouring them both a glass from the bottle. “I happen to be very attached to that blanket, I’m not ready to replace it quite yet,” he said and sat down next to her, reaching out the glass. 

Lily pinched the stem of the glass and swirled it around. She knew better than to sip instantly, not fancying comments about letting the wine aerate or breathe or whatever other posh thing he did with the wine. Something which she did not bother with when she was drinking her favourite under-five quid bottles of supermarket slosh. 

But she is used to it now. 

They’d been doing this for the past few months, whenever James was sent on a mission without either of them. Something that happened far too often for their liking. But they couldn’t argue when the reasoning was sound. 

It got them through the long nights, the liminal space in which James was both alive and dead and missing. 

“So, anything juicy going on?” Sirius asked, his long legs tangling with hers under the blanket, a record starting to play in the background with a flick of his wrist and a flourish of wandless magic. 

Lily held the glass up to the light, inspecting it while she thought, and keeping far enough away that she was not tempted to take her first sip before Sirius. “Mmh, let’s see. Molly is pregnant again,” she said casually, her eyes set on her partner, wanting to see his reaction. 

She gleefully watched as his eye grew wide and his jaw slackened. “Molly? Weasley?”

“Mhm,” she hummed, deciding that now was the time for her to take a drink. The warm, woodsy flavour washed over her tongue while she watched the wheels in Sirius’s head turning. 

He took a large gulp of wine, an indecent amount of wine that he’d have given her stink eye for, but she wasn’t going to. She didn’t care about that sort of thing, especially if it was a part of his process. “Are you sure? It’s that?” 

“Number six, yes,” she filled in his question and took another sip, this one larger. “I know! I was thinking that too.” 

Sirius tilted his head to the side like a curious dog. “Think what too? I’d love to know what words you were imagining,” he taunted and raised his glass at her. 

Lily deliberately waited for Sirius to take another long drink before answering, she knew it was mean but it would be funny too. “Just that Arthur must be the best shag ever,” she said casually, even shrugging like she did not just say something mildly ridiculous and highly inappropriate. 

At her word, Sirius nearly choked on his wine, letting out a loud, barking laugh interspersed by coughs. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand once the laughter subsided and let one last guffaw escape his lips. “That wasn’t my first thought. Close, but not the first. You bring up a valid point though.”  

“What were you thinking then?” 

Sirius smirked, his eyes travelling to her glass, daring her to drink before he spoke, and she knew he would outlast her patience. So, instead of trying, she simply took the drink, pretty sure that she’d be snorting it out the second he spoke. 

“That we should make him a classmate.”

[shelbgrey]

Stuck in the middle: what it's like being close to Derek and Addison during their devorce.

Summary: headcanons on what life is like when two of most important people are at war and holidays become questionable.

Paring: Platonic!reader X Derek shepherd, Patonic!Reader X Addison Montgomery, Mark Sloan x reader

Request: @luvlesavyy Where the reader is a woman of about 21 years old, and enters the residency program along with the others, however, she is almost like a sister to Derek (they were raised together and even because of the age difference, they love each other too much) addisson is like a mother to her and she gets really bad with everything that happens between them. Maybe you could write headcanons of what her holidays would be like with them, the whole family together, and Mark would have a crush on her.

A/n: hope you like it, thanks for the request

Greys MasterList

~you've known Derek since you were kids. Even though he's got a few years on you the two of you have been glued to the hip ever since you met.

~you of course met Addison through Derek and she seemed to take a immediate liking to you. You didn't really have a good home life so Addison didn't hesitate to take you under her wing.

~with the three of you being so close and them helping you through medical school you were certainly crushed when you heard Addie cheated on Derek.

~the night that it happened Derek had came to your apartment. He was emotional mess and not only was he distraught he was angry... And so were you, you would never in a million years think Addison would cheat.

~what hurt more was the fact that she cheated on him with Mark, another close friend.

~you always liked Mark. Yes he's was older but he always treated you like a queen dispite you being strictly friends. Derek always made sure of that.

~“I just need to get out of this damn city”

~“what if you came to Seattle with me? I'm starting the residency program there”

~so that's exactly what you did. He got his trailer out in the woods and you got an apartment about ten minutes away.

~like mentioned before you two are glued to the hip, but there was no way you were gonna live in that cramped trailer with him, no matter how much you loved him.

Your relationship with Derek:

To the unknown people might think you'd two would be a couple... That's far from the truth.

Derek is your Soulmate. He's more than best friend but less than a lover. You've always had each other's backs and he loves you to death.

Derek has always protected you, him and Addie both but Derek seemed to always take it to another level.

You met him through Amilea. It may sound stereotypical but you were getting picked on at a public park near the neighborhood you grew up in. Amilea saw it and got Derek, she was to young to handle it her self so she got Derek. He chased the little punks off and the rest is history.

As Kids you practically lived at the Shepherd's home. Mrs. Shepherd loved you like her own and never made you feel like you did belong.

You had decent relationships with his sisters I guess. Nacy and Kathleen made it clear they didn't care for you too much but Liz and Amilea cared for like crazy, but not as much as Derek did.

Derek is one that inspired you to become a doctor. You would always be fascinated by all his medical books and when he graduated medical school is when you decided to go yourself.

Him and Addison got you threw it all and never gave up on you.

It's the little things that made your bond strong, rather it be listing to your rants about your favorite topics, taking you to concerts even he doesn't like the music, dressing up on Halloween with you, or even taking you to watch every Harry Potter movie when they'd be in theaters.

He got you threw your first heartbreak and he's never confirmed or denied the facted he slashed your Ex's tires after finding out he cheated.

If you want a movie night, done he'll get the popcorn, you want to bast Elvis Presley he'll find all the speakers and dance with you. You had a nightmare, he'll sleep on the floor next your bed in till your not scared anymore.

You may not share the same blood but your his sister no matter what.

Your relationship with Addison:

Addison loves you like a daughter or little sister, there's no doubt about that.

She use to stay that day she met you she automatically new you'd be close.

She thought you most things girls learn from their mother, but since yours past away Addie made sure to take care of you.

She'd do your hair, help you pick out close, taught you how to use make up and was there when you got your first Period.

You wanted to be just like her and she was your biggest inspiration growing up.

She helped you get threw your insecurities and always made sure that you knew how beautiful you are.

She hates it when you talk down on yourself and she wishes you saw what she was and that was pure beauty.

If you say anything decorating about yourself she'll give you a little love tap on the head or shoulder.

You were her maid of honor at hers and Derek's wedding.

Addison was the only one who knew about Mark's feelings for you and she kept it a secret for him. She also told him to stay away from you.

When she slept with Mark she felt that she not only betrayed Derek but she also Betrayed you.

She couldn't bring herself to tell you. She didn't want to lose you.

What it's like being around them now:

You didn't know Addison was coming to Seattle. Everything seemed to be great Derek found a girl that really made him happy and you met this guy Alex.

When you saw her you immediately hugged her. Dispite what she did you really did miss her.

“I missed you Addie, but what are you doing here?”

“I'm here to get Derek back, what I did was unforgettable but I gotta try”

Uh oh...

When they do get back together you could immediately tell it wad a mistake.

It's like when a small child can tell mom and dad don't love each other anymore. You can just tell.

Both of them unintentionally stick you in the middle and use you to get back at each other.

“well tell him I can't do that and that he's an idiot”

“tell her that's not what the patient needs”

It drives you crazy but most of all it hurts.

You could tell Derek's hurting so you don't say anything. You love them both and definitely don't want to choose sides.

What holidays are like with them:

The first Christmas they had back together would have been depressing without you. Derek didn't feel like celebrating anything and Addison would ignore it.

But on the bright side you got a small Christmas tree to put in Derek's trailer and tried to cheer him up. With or without Addison you were gonna give Derek a good Christmas. He deserved it.

With Addison you'd look through magazines and pick out gifts for Mrs. Shepherd and Derek's sister.

Addison will make sure to get you expensive gifts. Some of which she over thought about. As bad as it sounds she unknowingly wanted to out do Derek.

Derek knows you like the back of his hand so he'd get you anything that you loved rather it be something from your favorite show or even one of a kind collectable.

The presents didn't matter you just wanted to have a peaceful Christmas with the both of them... Like how they used to be.

On Christmas eve you decorated the trailer and they came home to a Christmas tree and your puppy eyes begging for a Christmas.

It turned out to be an amazing night. Christmas movies and laughter. Like how it used to be..

If it's Halloween you and Derek will have a horror movie marathon. You two will be laughing at the gore and Addison will be covering her face in fear or disgust.

Thanksgiving is about like Christmas. You'd put something amazing together and you'll have one night of peace.

Mark having a crush on you:

This was just trouble from the start.

If we're being honest Mark loved you since they day you met, but the problem was he was too afraid to admit and derek would have never let it happen.

Mark loves everything about you. He loves how goofy and kind you are. He feel in love with how your eyes sparkl when you talk about something you love and he especially loves your bubbly personality.

Derek could tell. He saw the way he looked at you and it angered him and scared him. He didn't want Mark hurting you.

He thought he loved Addison but in reality he just wanted to prove to himself he could be happy without you. That wasn't true and not only did he hurt his best friend, he hurt you too.

When He came to Seattle he not only wanted to get Derek back, he wanted to get you back to.

Derek didn't trust him and he wanted to make sure Mark stayed far away from you.

At times it was annoying but you understood where Derek was coming from.

The day mark came to visit Seattle-Grace he got a punch in the face by Derek and you had to patch him up.

As you were giving him stitches his steal-blue eyes never left you. He could feel his heart pounding because of how close he was to you.

“I really did miss you N/n”

You didn't know what to feel. You loved his charm and you will admit you missed him. You missed his laugh, smile, even missed the smell of his colone.

You didn't want to get hurt so you pushed him away, but Mark wasn't gonna give up too easily.

He didn't tell Derek how he felt about you because he knew Derek wouldn't stand by it.

Addison on the other hand told him if he hurt you she'd cut his balls off. She just wants you to be happy but if your hurt all hell will break loose.

“”

You kept your relationship a secret for awhile. You told Callie because of how close you were but Derek was in the dark about it.

You hated lying to him but you knew he would never except it. But really he'd just be happy that your happy, that's all he ever wanted for you.

But mark told him to at the wrong time. Derek lost a patient and Mark was determined to tell him.

They got in a fight and you and Meredith had to pull them apart. You felt like you were being towrn apart. You didn't know which side to take.

The night if happened you want to check on Derek after patching Mark up.

“I love him”

“I just don't want you to get hurt”

You and Meredith got them to work things out and everything seemed to fall into place.

Extra headcanons:

You and Meredith become the best of friends through the two men.

Even though your bit, if not the same age as Meredith you two take care of each other.

Double dates all the time.

Mark is an amazing boyfriend and treats you like the queen you are.

Derek is still over protective but he's getting used to toning it down a bit. It's marks turn to take care of you.

You Became a Peds surgeon and the people who practically raised you couldn't be more proud.

When you become an attending you might or might not have a favorite intern.

Your basically to Levi Schmitt what Derek was to you. You take Levi under your wing and you two become close.

You and Mark end up having twins and Derek is their God-father.

Even though things started off Rocky they couldn't have ended better.

That's all for now,buddies

[wlwanakin]

AO3 Wrapped: Writer's Edition

tagged by @cheesenames and @animazi <3

Words written this year: 2,004 published, who knows how many unpublished

Works written this year: only one that i actually completed and published lmao. i started approximately 7 fics though

Work Most Proud of: a vile hunger for your hammering heart is, again, the only one i've finished. however i am earnestly very proud of how it came out. i think it's some of my best writing and i shocked myself by actually finishing it too

Work with Most Hits: since i only published one thing this year that is the answer. the fic with most hits overall is mercy killing, which is like three years old and was my first foray back into star wars fic after years of not writing anything for this wretched fandom

Fav title: i am bad at titling things and regret the titles i've given most of my fics, including vile hunger lmao. i tend to steal titles from other things, and in this case i stole an episode title from interview with the vampire that itself was taken from the novel. and the thing is that the passage in the book is about louis drinking from claudia to the point of death and grappling with how this desire to drain her contradicts what he actually wants and to me it's a turn of phrase that viscerally evokes violent grief, and on that level it's fitting, but also the fic itself was inspired not only mainly by the show (louis doesn't slit lestat's throat in the novel, it's all claudia) but also by an entirely different episode than the one whose title i stole. i really should've called it the thing lay still but it didn't quite evoke what i want and i could not get the phrase "a vile hunger for your hammering heart" out of my head. it just sounds prettier. all this to say, my favorite fic title is for one i have yet to release onto the world (because it's unfinished)

Pairing You Wrote the Most For: anidala lmao. i have a rotation i go through but i always come back to anidala

What Work was the Quickest To Write: i finished vile hunger in like a week after coming up with the idea a month or so before? i worked on it in spurts before locking in and writing the meat of it within a week. that like never happens so it was pretty crazy, i'm usually really slow. fastest ever would probably be mercy killing though i wrote that in like five hours in a sleep-deprived daze. both of these are anomalies

What Work Took You Longest To Write: i'm a ridiculously slow writer (which is why i have published only one fic this year) and i have also only finished like ten fics in the decade i've spent writing them. most of what i write takes six months to two years and gets abandoned rather than finished

How Many WIPS do you have for next year: i'm working on a bunch of stuff right now!! i've posted my list of wips before, but the big focuses are a one-shot about anakin and sabe being all weird and tense with each other while anakin represses gender dysphoria, a potential sequel to vile hunger which is mostly about post-partum psychosis, and my biggest project which is my modern au yuri anidala murder road trip fic

Longest Work of the Year: i only wrote one

Shortest Work of the Year: only wrote one

Fav character to Write: in general it's probably anakin because he's just so fundamentally fucked up and abnormal and to convey that you really have to develop a distinct voice. and it comes fairly easy to me because anakin's personality and issues just so happen to be fairly similar to mine and i can get really cerebral in his pov and that's my favorite. i have grown extremely fond of writing padme lately, though. she used to be a bit of an enigma to me in terms of writing her pov but i've been writing so much padme pov lately and i've finally gotten a grasp of the narrative voice i want to give her and her brand of neurosis is just so fun to delve into

Which work of yours have you re-read the most: vile hunger. i actually really like what i did with it!

Total Kudos this Year:

Total Hits This Year:

Total Bookmarks This Year:

Total Subscriptions This Year: skipped all of these bc i wrote one fic. just check that

What Do You Listen To While Writing: whatever music i'm into at the time. my writing go-tos are mitski, florence + the machine, keaton henson, ethel cain, phoebe bridgers, hozier, sufjan stevens and artists adjacent, but sometimes i try to match the tone of my wip and sometimes i just pick whatever i wanna listen to writing nonwithstanding. i wrote a lot of stuff to depeche mode and fontaines dc this year. the i saw the tv glow soundtack was also a big writing album for me. right now my go-to writing music is against me! and the smiths

Fav line or passage: most of my favorite passages are from wips and idk if that's allowed but this one from vile hunger is one i liked so much i used it as my summary:

She’s always thought Anakin is prettiest when he’s asleep. He rarely fell asleep before her, and she treasured those rare times he did, studying his face, the near-angelic softness of his relaxed features. Soft isn’t a word most would use to describe Anakin, but it’s always the first word she thought of on those nights, watching him in the early stages of this comfortable, nightmare-free sleep he could never get anywhere else. It was something no one else got to see, and as much as she wished he could find peace outside of her she still selfishly treasured that he couldn’t, that she got to have moments like those that were totally and entirely hers. He looks the same as he did on those precious nights, even with blood still seeping from his gaping neck. She’s cradled his head like this countless times, always gentle to ensure she wouldn’t wake him up, endlessly grateful to have him in her arms and pushing back the ever-nagging fear that one day he’ll return to her a corpse. And now he has returned to her arms again, peaceful and pretty and dead and totally and entirely hers.

tagging @officialfoxsquadron and idk who else bc most of my writer friends aren't super active on here!! but if u wanna do this go crazy

[chrisfriel]

beginners guide to dying 040724

rarely post non photographic stuff but this moved me today

In September 2023, Simon Boas was diagnosed with throat cancer. Aged just 46, he was told the disease was terminal, and that it would ultimately take his life.

Over the following year, he knitted together his reflections on life into a book - A Beginner's Guide to Dying. The book is set to hit the shelves in October. It will be a posthumous publication.

In what he expects to be one of his final interviews, Simon spoke to Emma Barnett on the Today Programme, offering his reflections on life and death as he moved into hospice care.

My pain is under control and I'm terribly happy - it sounds weird to say, but I'm as happy as I've ever been in my life.

I used to think I'd rather be hit by the proverbial bus, but having a couple of months knowing this is coming has really helped me both do the boring 'death-min', but also get my thoughts and prepare myself, and feel so accepting of what's to come.

It's been such a great bonus, actually.

The book is called A Beginner's Guide to Dying, but really what I'm trying to convey is how enjoying life to the full kind of prepares you for this.

In some ways I was lucky that my life and my career have taken me to quite a lot of places where death is more a part of life than it is for us in the West.

I spent my life as an aid worker - quite a lot with the UN - and I've lived in places where death is something that not just exists in the background, but is imminently possible.

I spent three years running a UN office in the Gaza Strip. I spent a lot of time in Rwanda, Sierra Leone, and I've been working in Ukraine. Seeing people there for whom death is such a part of life - they lose children, they don't know where the next meal is coming from - has really helped me.

I've also been a Samaritan for the past four years. In some cases you are on the line while people end their lives, so I think death has been more a part of my life than for many people.

It does us all good to think about it.

That's not in a gloomy way… by kind of realising it's inevitable and it's a part of life, it actually throws life into perspective and helps you to enjoy it more and prioritise the important things.

My family are about to go through the most difficult thing in their lives. My lovely wife, Aurelie, and my parents… are well surrounded, and I hope that my cheerfulness in the leaving of life might perhaps help them in the next few years…

All our lives are little books - but they're not someone else's complete book. You're a chapter or a page or a footnote in someone else's life and they are going to keep writing beautiful chapters when you are gone.

And those green shoots can grow around grief and put it in perspective. I hope people will think, "I'm glad I read that - Simon's story". And just because it's over, doesn't mean it's gone.

You don't need to have been a politician or a mover and shaker or an aid worker or anything in life. All of us make a huge difference.

I love this quote from George Eliot's Middlemarch:

"The effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistorical acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.”

All of us make a huge difference in life. I love the idea that most films about time travel revolve around changing one tiny thing in the past, and of course they come back to the present and everything is different.

If you project that forward, you can change huge amounts of things into the future.

All our tombs will be unvisited in a few years - all our actions will mostly be unremembered - but the smile you gave the checkout lady or the kind words you gave to a stranger in the street could still be rippling forward.

We all have that opportunity and it's a huge power. And I want everyone to realise how special and precious they are.

I love melted cheese. Unfortunately I haven't been able to eat since Christmas. The chemotherapy killed my taste buds and the radiotherapy killed my salivary glands.

So, sadly, melted cheese and all the things I loved are off the menu.

However, I've been given full permission by my oncologist and my hospice team to enjoy as much Muscadet and as many cheeky rollups as I want - and I shall certainly be indulging in those and spending time with my family.

I'm sort of - not looking forward to my final day - of course that's the wrong way to see it. But I'm kind of curious about it, and I'm happy and I'm ready.

As Julian of Norwich said: "All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well."

FULL INTEVIEW

[pyromaniacbibliophile]

Bricktober day 14- Time Travel/Modern

@lesmis-prompts

People do you understand how much I love R & Jehan. They are amazing. Also when I discovered this fandom (in June my gods has it only been that long I've got 300 bookmarks of these idiots already) I thought '' hell nah I can't write les mis the fics are all so good and I'm not that good". Cut to-me on day 14 of a Les Mis Writing Challenge, with a hp crossover planned, the beginnings of an afterlife au, and So. Many. Documents. About. Them. ANYYYWAY ENJOY!

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Jehan sighs. Honestly, he is rather surprised something like this hadn’t happened sooner. With such friends as Les Amis and such roommates as Courfeyrac and Grantaire, you take your life into your hands daily. That being said, he really hadn’t expected to come back to Eponine, Gavroche, R, and Courf standing outside next to two slightly singed canvases, looking sheepish as their building burned.

Maybe a little bit of context might help. See, Eponine and Gavroche have been friends with R for years. He doesn’t know the whole story, but from what he’s seen and heard and the fact that more often than not the siblings are sleeping in R’s bed while he’s on the sofa, he can make a few guesses. So that explains their presence.

Jehan had had to leave early that morning for a lecture but neither R nor Courf nor Eponine had any classes, the lucky sods. So that left the three of them in close proximity with the chaos demon that is Gavroche. Obviously, something was going to go wrong. He just hadn't expected it to be this wrong.

He pulled out his phone and texted the Les Amis group chat. 'Hey guys, R, Courf, Gavroche, and Eponine have burnt down our place, we'll need somewhere to sleep tonight. Xxx'

Sending it, he walks over to his friends. “Care to explain what happened here?”

Courf winces. “Jehan! Dear heart! It- is really R’s story to tell!”

“You fucker.” R mutters, before beaming very widely. “Jehan! Fancy seeing you here, dear friend of mine!”

Jehan says nothing but raises an eyebrow.

R gulps. “Well- You see- Er-” He decides being deliberately obtuse is the best idea. “The building’s on fire.”

Jehan internally rolls his eyes, but keeps a stoic expression. His other eyebrow joins the first.

R casts around for something helpful. “I- well, you see- Ah! I rescued your notebooks!” He reaches behind him and produces a large stack of notebooks, varying in shapes and sizes. “And you keep your books at Ferre’s anyway! So everything’s fine!”

“Yes, R, but why did my notebooks need rescuing in the first place?”

R pauses, as if he hadn’t quite thought of that. In all fairness, he probably hadn’t.

“Ah. Well.. Eponine?”

“No. No, I am not being dragged into this.”

“Well, you were there when it happened, and you didn’t stop us, which is- er- makes you an accessory to the crime! Quod Erat Demonstratum and that?” Courf says. Eponine gives him the most deadpan look possible.

"Courfeyrac, I know you aren't quoting law at me. Because that would be a very bad idea, wouldn't it?” She asks dangerously. Eponine doesn't take well to anyone other than Cosette using laws to attempt to coerce her. After all, she knew the criminal justice system of Paris inside out by the time she was ten. Few in their friend group know law better than her.

“Erm-yes. What you said. Anyway, I agree with R, you should tell Jehan what happened.”

“I can do it!” Gavroche interjects, mischief clear in his eyes.

Instantly, three hands shoot over his mouth. “No, really, Gav, that won’t be necessary.”

“Actually, I think I would like to hear Gavroche’s version of events.” Jehan says. He knows that out of the four of them, Gavroche is most likely to tell him the truth, or at least something close to it.

“Are you quite sure?” R asks hopefully.

“Entirely. Gavroche?”

“Now, just out of curiosity, and bear in mind that I'm being generous here, how much would you consider a fair price for this information?" Gavroche enquires, business mode on. Jehan, unfortunately for him, is having none of it.

"Gavroche, the building is on fire. I have little doubt that you contributed largely to the fire in question. There are three people here who would, I am sure, happily let you take the blame."

R looks affronted. Courf mutters to Eponine "Damn, busted." She promptly kicks him in the shin.

Ignoring their antics, Jehan continues. "So why don't you tell me precisely what happened, hmm?"

Never let it be said that Jehan, finding his friend in possession of an Inspector for her step-father, turns down the chance to learn such skills as negotiating with criminals, par example.

"All right, but you owe me. See, R was painting and Ep was reading, so I was bored. So I nicked Courf and we went up onto the roof and experimented with the fire escapes. Then we decided that it was a night for marshmallow toasting, so we went back down and stole R's candles and mini marshmallows, as you do. Things were going well until R came out to join us. See, by this point Ep was asleep. So someone had the genius idea to paint something on her face."

"And that someone would have been.."

Gavroche points at Courf, who was currently fighting Eponine. She was winning.

"I see. Go on."

"So, basically, R went and got his paints. Only he tripped on-er-something that might have been left on the floor. Then-"

"Something that might have been left on the floor." Jehan says flatly, staring at Gavroche.

"Well- OK, something I might have left on the floor despite Ep telling me to move it. Does it matter?"

"Please, continue." Jehan states in lieu of an answer.

"Right, so R tripped and the paints hit the candles, which fell over onto the newspaper, which-"

"Hold up a second, there was newspaper?"

Gavroche looks at him like he was an idiot. "Yeah, else the wax would have gotten everywhere."

"Right. Of course."

"Anyway, the newspaper went up in flames, so the cupboard door caught on fire, the one with R's wine in it. So then there was a bang and everything went fiery so Courf grabbed the cat, R got your notebooks and his sketchbooks, Ep got R's current commission and I got his painting of Enj. Then we called the firefighters then you arrived."

Jehan thought through the explanation. In summary, it was everyone's fault but mostly Gavroche and Courf's. So technically he should be a bit mad. Although R had got his notebooks, which was nice. (he already kept his books at Ferre's in case of a scenario like this). "Why did you get the painting of Enjolras?"

Gavroche looked over at the painting in question. "Ah, well, because R's hopelessly in love with Enj and I have it on good authority that Enj feels the same, only neither of them will say anything, so when Enj and Les Amis comes he'll see the painting and maybe realise. Also it's really pretty and R would have been sad if it burned, even if he didn't say so."

"Whatever he's been saying, Jehan, it's all rumour, scandal, and lies!" R shouted across.

"Gavroche, if that works I will buy you a bag of sweets so big the sugar high will last for days." Jehan whispered.

Just then, there was a screech of wheels and Bahorel's van hurtled around the corner. It skidded to a halt, the rear doors opened, and Feuilly, Joly, Bossuet, Musichetta, Cosette, Combeferre, and Enjolras tumbled out.

Bahorel leaped out of the driver's seat and the horde rushed over. While they were all surrounding R, Eponine and Courf, Jehan noticed Enjolras staring at the painting. R noticed and went pink.

"So, last for days you said?"

"Uh-uh, it's not happened yet."

Before Jehan's very eyes, however, Enjolras practically dived across, pounced on R, and kissed him. There was silence.

R said something too quiet for anyone but Enjolras to hear, but whatever it was it made said leader kiss him again.

Only Courf wolf-whistling broke them apart.

Jehan laughed. "Alright, I'll take you to the sweet shop. Bear in mind that if you casually mention this to Ferre, he'd probably buy you a mansion if he had the money. After all, he's been dealing with a lovesick Enjolras for years."

"You reckon? Nice."