#I really wish this wasn’t the circumstances in which we reconnected | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gojo-x-reader · 4 years ago

Text

Not So Special Now

Relationship(s): F!Reader x Gojo Satoru

Warnings: canon-typical violence

Tags: fluff (at the end), reader-focused

AO3 Link: here

Words: ~4k

Request: “hello there, i love ur soulmate and marriage life hc 🥺 can you make scenario/hc/drabble whatever u prefer where his fem/gn so is also a sorcerer and gets hurt/injured on a mission? thank you!”

“Are you sure you’ll be fine?” Your boyfriend, Satoru, asked you. His hands were on your biceps, giving it a worried, yet comforting squeeze.

“Yes, Satoru,” you answered, a little annoyed at how he was treating you. It’s been several years since either of you were in high school; this wasn’t your first mission.

“I can’t help but worry, you know. It’s your first ever special grade assignment.”

“Just because I’m not the same rank as you, Mr. Special Grade, doesn’t mean I’m weak. Besides, there are two others going so I’m not doing this alone.”

“I know, I know.” Satoru pressed his lips gently onto your forehead, then gazed into your eyes lovingly. In a rare instance while on the job, his blindfold was replaced with dark sunglasses. You reached up to shift them down, allowing you to gaze into his bright blue eyes. They were breathtaking no matter how many times you saw them. You moved your hands from his glasses to his shoulders, forcing him down so you could reach up to leave a chaste kiss on his lips.

“I’ll see you tonight,” you promised.

The two of you embraced one more time before you joined your other group members for the mission. You turned back and waved at him as the three of you entered the car to be driven to the location for your mission.

“Sure wish Gojo-san was coming with us,” one of them mused. “He could handle this mission single-handedly and we could just stay home.” He sighed deeply, then put in headphones and stared out the window.

“Why isn’t he taking this mission?” your other group member asked. She stared at you, eager to know.

You had just met these two today (not even knowing their names, except that they were both Grade 1 sorcerers like you) and you weren’t sure how well this mission would go. “Well,” you began, “for one, he works best alone. Second, Satoru fights best when he’s away from civilians.”

The girl hummed, then crossed her arms in thought. The three of you awkwardly rode in silence for about five minutes, before the girl grabbed your arm suddenly. “Soooo, how long have you been dating Gojo Satoru?” She asked eagerly. There was something about her that seemed familiar, but you just couldn’t put your finger on it.

You weren’t sure why this was any business of someone you just met, but you decided to indulge her to hopefully make this awkward car ride, well, less awkward.

“Two years, almost three,” you answered. The two of you had known each other since high school, but it wasn’t until almost four years ago that you had reconnected after you moved back to Tokyo, and almost three years ago when you started dating. To this day you still had no clue why he would get a crush on you over all people. There were much prettier girls he had spent more time with, why you?

“Annnnd? A ring soon?” She gushed, gripping your arm harder.

You shrugged. Satoru and you had discussed marriage at some point, but both of you were busy at the moment, especially with Ryomen Sukuna being somewhat revived into the world. While Yuuji was still technically “dead” to others, Satoru had trusted you enough to tell you about how his student had pretty much been revived from the dead. On your days off, you often visited your boyfriend and helped out with Yuuji’s training regime. He was a nice kid, despite his circumstances and being thrown into the jujutsu world suddenly.

The girl let go of your arm and got out her phone, furiously typing to someone. “Oh, my little sister won’t be happy to hear about this.”

“Little sister?”

“Yeah, my sister Momo goes to Kyoto. She’s pretty close with another girl, Kasumi, who I consider almost like another younger sister. She was super excited to meet Gojo-san a week ago. She’s like a superfan of him or something. I like to indulge her sometimes. I think she even made a fan club for Gojo-san or something. Anyways, Momo, even though she’s friends with Kasumi, she often gets annoyed with her talk about Gojo-san.”

You vaguely remember Satoru mentioning a girl from Kyoto that asked him for a picture. It wasn’t exactly a rare occurrence for your boyfriend to be asked to take pictures with, from the jujutsu world or from civilians; he had devastatingly good looks, so you couldn’t blame any of the people who asked for pictures. Besides, you knew his heart belonged to you and you only, so you were fine with others recognizing his allure.

“Oh, Kasumi’s calling me,” the girl said. She answered her phone, only for a younger voice to scream over the speaker. It was loud enough that you could hear it. Your teammate held her phone away from her ear.

“What do you mean he has a girlfriend?”

“Oh, come on Kasumi. You know how handsome he is. Besides, he’s like, what, twenty-eight? Twenty-nine?”

“Twenty-eight, twenty-nine in December,” you confirmed.

“Way too old for you, ma’am,” the girl relayed to Kasumi.

“I don’t like him like that , Sumi-san! I j-just really admire him, okay! W-Who wouldn’t? World’s strongest jujutsu sorcerer in all.”

“Mhm. Anyway, I’ve got a mission today with the said girlfriend of Gojo Satoru. Want me to get you an autograph?” Sumi joked.

“...Could you?”

You let out a tiny laugh. This girl was funny, so you decided to humor her and leaned toward the phone. “One autograph for Kasumi?”

“M-Miwa Kasumi!” the voice on the phone squeaked out. She told you what kanji made up her name as you rummaged for a scrap piece of paper and pen from your bag. You made out the autograph, laughing a bit as you handed it to Sumi.

After you told her you signed an autograph for her, Kasumi said goodbye, hanging up the phone before Sumi could reply goodbye back. She seemed embarrassed about the ordeal.

“You were right, she seems like a good kid.”

“Kasumi is nice. She really balances out how serious my little sister Momo is,” Sumi responded.

For the rest of the car ride, you and Sumi chatted. Apparently, this was also her first Special Grade mission, as well as her first mission after graduating from Kyoto. Their other group member was also from Kyoto; he was two years Sumi’s senior. His name was Takahashi Daisuke. She didn’t know much about him since he tended to keep to himself. But she did know this wasn’t his first Special Grade mission. That relieved you substantially since you were nervous about this mission (as much as you didn’t want to admit to Satoru).

Eventually, the roads transformed from paved to just dirt. The driver turned onto a road on a hill, then began briefing the three of you on your mission. This was a Special Grade, suspected to be awakened by a Sukuna finger. This was just based on speculation, since the last Special Grade to pop up was from a Sukuna finger as well. The Special Grade had taken over an abandoned shrine, supposedly terrorizing the local village just down the hill (which had been evacuated just hours before). As the driver parked the car, the three of you exited the car. The air was crisp, with a distinct chill in the air. You could sense a particularly strong cursed energy in the premises, on par with Satoru’s cursed energy. You shuddered; this was not going to be an easy task.

The driver placed a curtain around the area, the sky darkening. It only made the situation seem even more grave. There was something in your gut telling you to run, not from being scared of the Special Grade, but because something bad was going to happen.

Sumi grabbed a wand from her belt. Her family was a pretty small sorcerer family on her mother’s side, as she had told you in the car. She and her sister have cursed techniques similar to “witches”; hers involved spells while her sister’s involved levitating a broom, among other objects.

Your cursed techniques, however, involved nature. There was a reason why you were selected specifically for this mission; the shrine was in the middle of the forest, the perfect place for you to go wild. Cities like Tokyo were incredibly constraining for you to use your cursed techniques, so you almost exclusively were assigned missions out in the country where nature was plentiful.

Neither you nor Sumi knew what Daisuke’s cursed technique was, but you assumed it was pretty strong considering he had been on missions with Special Grades before.

The mission started off fine. The three of you approached the shrine. It wasn’t particularly impressive, nothing that you would expect to house a Special Grade curse. The stone torii at the entrance was standing tall, unbothered by neither age nor the moss and vines growing on it. The shrine itself, however, was crumbling. One of the pillars holding up the roof was destroyed, so the roof was lopsided. The shimenawa knots were cut in half, the ends completely frayed. Definitely not a good sign.

After crossing the torii , you felt the Special Grade’s presence. It was overwhelming, unlike anything else you had experienced before. It possessed near-equal amounts of cursed energy as Satoru, but unlike your boyfriend, it held malicious intent within its cursed energy. To your left, Sumi was shaking. You held out a shaky hand onto her shoulder and squeezed. While you yourself didn’t feel confident about this mission now, you had a duty as the oldest member of the group here to be strong, for their sake.

The shrine began to shake, then the roof was suddenly blown off. You used your cursed technique to form a barrier of tree roots that erupted from the ground. Slabs of wood hit the roots, then bounced off. After the rain of wood subsided, you controlled the roots back into the ground in their original position.

You finally got a good look at the Special Grade curse. It was humanoid, but only in form. Its flesh was midnight blue, with eyes covering every centimeter of its body. Great, it had no blind spots. The curse had no apparent mouth, yet you were able to hear it let out an intimidating roar.

Daisuke made the first strike. He quickly pointed a handgun at the Special Grade and pulled the trigger. Out came a burst of his own cursed energy instead of a bullet. The blow just grazed the Special Grade enough for it to let out a screech of pain. Interesting, so this was his cursed energy. You wondered if it was limited to guns, or if he could apply it to a bow as well and use his cursed energy for arrows. You’d have to ask him later after this mission was completed.

It was apparent after Daisuke revealed his cursed technique that all of you were primarily distance fighters. There wasn’t much Sumi could do if her cursed technique focused on spells through her wand apparatus and Daisuke seemed to only have a gun on him. So, that meant you had to switch to a melee approach.

You weren’t the biggest fan of hand to hand combat. You weren’t very strong, preferring to assist from a distance. Recently, Satoru has been helping you learn new ways of fighting in close quarters. You decided to take the risk and make an attempt at using this still relatively new technique. You reached out your hands, summoning leaves from the trees. They surrounded your fists like boxing gloves, your cursed energy reinforcing the leaves to be almost as hard as the bark from the trees they came from.

You sprinted toward the Special Grade, preparing to land a blow. As you reared back for a punch, the Special Grade disappeared from in front of you. Then you felt a blow land on your back and you were sent through the forest until a particularly thick tree stopped your projectile body. Luckily, you reacted quickly enough to reinforce your front with cursed energy. If it wasn’t for your quick thinking, you probably would’ve been knocked out immediately.

You picked yourself up from the ground, but the world was spinning. You leaned against a tree to collect your thoughts and rest a bit. The Special Grade was insanely fast and had no blind spots. You were panicking; this was well out of your skillset. Perhaps Daisuke was right; Satoru should’ve joined in on this mission. But you knew that wasn’t possible, as he also had his own Special Grade mission to handle today.

You brought a hand up to your face and gave yourself a hard smack. This was no time to doubt yourself or panic. You had two comrades out there fighting a Special Grade curse alone. There was no doubt that the Special Grade would notice you if you tried to rejoin the fight, at least on the ground. Your best bet would be to get the high ground; there would be fewer eyes on the top half, so the chances of you being noticed would be less than if you arrived by foot.

Okay, you had an idea. Now, to get an idea of how the fight was going. You kneeled down to the ground and placed your hand onto the ground, closing your eyes. You sent a minimal, hardly detectable pulse of cursed energy toward the fight through the ground. From what nature informed you, the fight was mostly one-sided in favor of the Special Grade. Daisuke was pretty beat up, and Sumi wasn’t in good shape either.

You got up then hurriedly began climbing the nearest tree. As you climbed up, you manipulated the bark to form grooves for you to place your hands and feet on. As you reached a decent height, you created a bridge with the overlapping tree branches sturdy enough for your weight. You sprinted across the bridge, ignoring your double vision. You definitely had a concussion, but now was not the time for you to worry about that. You didn’t wanna lose your comrades on this mission. Not again.

You wiped the tears that were threatening to fall from your eyes. In your final year of Tokyo High, your two classmates were killed right before your eyes on a mission. You escaped out of pure luck, but was determined to get stronger to avenge their deaths. If you let those two die… well, then, that meant you hadn’t gotten strong enough to protect anyone else.

Once you were just out of sight range of the cursed spirit, you closed your eyes to sense the battle again. Sumi was sitting on the ground, back to a tree as she watched the fight between Daisuke and the Special Grade. She was barely conscious, and it seemed like she had lost a lot of blood. You had an idea, but in order for it to work, you needed her help.

Using thin vines, you sent a message within her sight: I am still alive. I’m going to trap the Special Grade curse with branches. Use a fire spell on it when it’s bound.

All you could hope was that she was able to read the message and had enough cursed energy to cast the spell. You began moving branches from distant trees close to the Special Grade, as fast as possible without your cursed energy being detected. Once they were close enough, you waited for the right moment.

As Daisuke finally landed a hit with his cursed energy, moving the curse to the center of the shrine remnants, you launched your attack. The branches extended as fast as you could make them move. The hit Daisuke landed had temporarily slowed the Special Grade, enough for your branches to immobilize it. As the branches gripped the curse, Sumi sent a fire spell toward it, just as planned.

The branches (and the cursed spirit) caught on fire. But something was wrong; normally, you could extract cursed energy from a curse with your cursed technique to exorcise, but that wasn’t happening. Was it resisting? You felt a tug on the branches.

Without thinking, you acted on your own. You re-equipped the leaves cursed technique, as you jumped from the trees above. As gravity brought you closer to the Special Grade, you reared back to prepare the punch you had wanted to introduce it to earlier. As your fist landed on the curse, you allowed the leaves to leave your fist, sending it into the curse’s body. The leaves caught on fire before they entered the curse, imploding it.

So, you managed to exorcise the Special grade. But, doing so took all of your cursed energy and you had no more left to cushion your fall. Luckily, you managed to adjust your fall so that you slid on your stomach parallel to the ground instead of falling headfirst. It still hurt, and you definitely broke a few ribs doing that.

You somehow had enough energy to turn yourself onto your back, looking up at the starry night sky as the curtain was released. Your first Special Grade mission. Everyone lived and you exorcised it without Satoru’s help. Ha. He would be so proud of you.

You began to fall into unconsciousness right as you felt familiar arms lift you up.

When you woke up, you were in Shoko’s infirmary. There was a thin blanket covering your bottom half. Suddenly the events came back to you.

You sat up, gasping for air. Where were Sumi and Daisuke?

“You might want to lay back down,” a familiar voice told you. “Shoko healed you, but the pain might still be there.”

You did as the voice said, laying back at the elevated position you woke up in. You look over and blinked a few times, seeing your boyfriend sitting in a chair next to your bed. He was in his work uniform, including his blindfold. You winced as you felt a pain in your chest; Satoru was right, there still was residual pain.

“I exorcised a Special Grade,” you croaked.

“I know. I’m proud of you.” He grabbed your hand and squeezed it, giving you a soft smile, showing off his tiny dimples. His smile quickly turned to a frown as he lectured, “However, what you did was risky and crazy.”

“Aren’t you the one who says that jujutsu sorcerers have to be crazy to survive?” you argued.

“Yes, but there’s a difference between crazy and throwing your life away.”

“You saw that?” you asked, much more awake than you were a few seconds ago.

“I hurried as fast as I could with my own mission to come assist you if you needed. I got there right as you pulled that stunt of yours.”

You pulled your hand from his and placed your face in both of your hands, embarrassed that he saw you launch yourself from several meters high, use up all of your cursed energy, then make a hard landing onto the ground.

“How’s the other two?” you asked, refusing to move your face from your hands.

“Alive and doing well. You’re the most beat-up out of everyone.”

You removed your hands, clasping them together in your lap. “Thank goodness…”

“There wasn’t a Sukuna finger either,” Satoru reported to you. “The villagers’ fear of the shrine must have caused it to grow to a Special Grade. Now, come on. Shoko said you could come home once you woke up.” Satoru stood up, then scooped you up from the bed. You screamed in protest, now wide awake.

“Wha--Put me down!”

“No can do, honey. Doctor’s orders. Nothing strenuous for the next week.”

“Satoru, I don’t think walking counts as strenuous!”

He smiled his signature shit-eating grin, then gave you a kiss on your forehead. No fair, he knew forehead kisses were your weakness. You melted into his arms at how tender his kiss was, now docile and less likely to argue with him.

In a flash, he teleported the two of you to his apartment, setting you on the bed in front of him. After placing you on the bed, he yanked off his blindfold and began rummaging through his dresser, looking for a set of his clothes for you to wear. He tossed the shirt and pants toward you, not even bothering to turn around while you changed. You’d been together for so long (or at least, it felt like a long time) that there wasn’t anything particularly embarrassing about changing in front of each other.

You winced while lifting your hands up to take off your shirt, so Satoru was by your side in an instant, helping you take off your shift without much pain. He even helped you out of your bra and put on his shirt.

“You don’t need me to help you with the pants, do you?” he teased.

“I think I can handle it on my own,” you replied, standing up and shuffling out of your pants. Satoru’s pants were much too long for you, so you had to roll not only the waistband but also the cuffs so that they didn’t constantly drag on the ground. Not like you minded doing that; there was just something about his clothes that was infinitely more comforting than your own, and he knew that more than anyone else.

As you adjusted the pants, Satoru left the bedroom to head toward the kitchen, no doubt to start cooking some of your favorite foods. You laid down on your shared bed, happy to be home. It was a long day (Days? How long were you even unconscious?) and you were glad to have such a caring boyfriend, even if he was being a little annoying about this.

About an hour later, Satoru came into the bedroom with a tray of food. He wouldn’t let you even touch the chopsticks, insisting on feeding you food because he didn’t want you to “strain yourself.” You thought he was just being a little too overprotective, but you allowed him to feed you anyway. The look of satisfaction on his face was just too cute for you to deny him this tiny pleasure.

After dinner, you immediately wanted to go to bed. Satoru quickly ate his portion of dinner then changed out of his work clothes into something much more comfortable to sleep in. He joined you under the covers, using his cursed energy to turn off the lights. You felt his arms gently snake their way around your waist, pressing you into his front. You sighed in contentment; he was warm, but not too warm.

After a few seconds of silence, you piped up, “Satoru?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you for taking care of me. I love you.”

He placed a gentle kiss on your neck, just behind your ear. “Anything for you, my love,” he breathed onto your neck. You could feel him smiling gently. “Maybe we should just get married.”

You grumbled something, not even quite sure what you said or even what he said completely. Before sleep overtook you, you mumbled out one last final “I love you,” incredibly happy to be in your boyfriend’s arms at the moment.

#gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #jjk x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen

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tennessoui · 3 years ago

Note

when is anakin going to get his revenge and kiss divorced obi-wan back

yes hello this got out of hand and the best moment would be in the hypothetical part two but here is a KUWSK directly post kiss from Anakin's pov. For context, this snippet and this snippet probablllyyyy should be read?

(2.8k, ffs @ kit)

“He was thinking about Satine,” Anakin tells himself after he drops the kids off at school and starts making the drive back home. His hands are tight on the wheel. He’s been trying to think about something else--anything else ever since it happened, but his mind refuses to let go of that moment.

He’s replayed it so many times in the last hour and a half that it doesn’t even feel like an actual memory anymore, just a combination of sensations.

The chill of the almost winter morning that made the hair on his arms stick up. The tacky feeling in his mouth because he had slept a bit later than he had wanted to and didn’t have time to brush his teeth if he wanted to make breakfast before the kids and Obi-Wan left.

The woodsy-spiced smell of Obi-Wan’s cologne, stronger than normal. They’d been standing closer together than normal too, but it had been so early and Obi-Wan’s mind had obviously been miles away.

Anakin had been saying something stupid, something that didn’t mean anything, and Obi-Wan had replied and then Obi-Wan had leaned in and kissed him, full on the mouth. His beard had felt so soft against Anakin’s skin, his lips even softer, if a bit chapped.

Had they been chapped? Now Anakin can’t remember, he’s turned this memory over in his head so often. It had been for less than a handful of seconds. A quick brush of lips, a taste of a life Anakin has dreamt about for well over a year now. And Obi-Wan had just turned and left, as if he hadn’t done anything extraordinary. As if he hadn’t just kissed Anakin on the porch for everyone to see.

Obi-Wan would never be that cruel on purpose. Perhaps to that one profesor who always tries to refute Obi-Wan’s papers, but not to Anakin.

Which means Obi-Wan hadn’t been thinking. He had been perhaps caught up in the domesticity of it all, of having someone wish him luck and see him off. And maybe Anakin has been doing something like that for the last two years, but there’s a person who did that for Obi-Wan for much longer. A person they ran into at the park just two days ago.

“He was thinking about Satine,” Anakin tells himself as he gets out of the car and unlocks the house. He tries desperately to keep the despair and jealousy out of his voice, but at least no one’s around. It’s not that he hates the woman or anything. Really, he doesn’t. He doesn’t understand her, but that’s a given.

He’d never have Obi-Wan’s heart and soul and throw it away. He’d never get tired of fighting with Obi-Wan if he was fighting to stay with the man. He’d never be able to run into him at a park and then just leave again as if seeing him stirred up nothing inside of him.

Seeing Obi-Wan always stirs things up inside of Anakin. It makes no sense that Satine, who had had Obi-Wan’s love--knew all those things about the man that Anakin did not and could not know as just his housemate--had just been satisfied with saying hello and then just as quickly goodbye.

The same cold sinking feeling that Anakin’s been trying to shake off for the last two and a half days returns, and he has to lean against the countertop in the kitchen for a second to ground himself.

They’re going to get back together. They will.

At the park, they had seemed so in their own world, as if everything else had disappeared except for them. Anakin had had to send Luke over, couldn’t stand watching that reconnection happen without at least trying to remind Obi-Wan that he has a family now, that he’s not alone anymore, that there are people who love him.

Obi-Wan had glared at him for his meddling, which hadn’t admittedly done wonders to his confidence. And when Obi-Wan had deposited Luke--Luke--on the ground to chase after Satine, when he had hugged her, Anakin knew for sure.

They were going to lose him.

Anakin had had his set of chances and had taken none of them, and now Obi-Wan’s going to re-fall in love with his ex-wife and Anakin’s going to have to be the supportive best friend who has to figure out how to tell his children that due to unforeseen and tragic circumstances, their Obi is probably going to elope to Paris and maybe send a postcard once or twice a year addressed solely to the children and Anakin will grow old and die alone and the name Obi-Wan Kenobi will be banned from his small, shadowy apartment, and all Anakin will have is a few memories of the two most important and heart wrenching kisses he’s ever been a part of in his entire life.

“He was thinking about Satine,” he tells himself. “He kissed me but it wasn’t about me. It hasn’t ever been about me.”

There’s no denying that Obi-Wan loves Anakin’s children and also no denying that his children love Obi-Wan. Anakin thinks he wouldn’t love Obi-Wan half as much if he hadn’t absolutely been charmed by the kids and vice versa. But he had been. They had been. Those few weeks when Anakin had thought about leaving a year ago had been absolutely awful because he knew he would be breaking his twins’ hearts, not just his. He’d be hurting Obi-Wan too, he had known that.

But he had had to try. Because he knew that if he didn’t try to leave then he’d have to be dragged kicking and screaming out of Obi-Wan’s life when it came time for the man to grow tired of his presence.

It had been a last ditch attempt at saving his dignity. And it hadn’t taken much argument from everyone else to get him to abandon the idea completely.

Now he can’t help but to think he should have put his foot down, gotten some distance. Because now he’s entrenched in Obi-Wan’s world, the same way Obi-Wan is entrenched in his and the twins’ world. Leaving now will feel like ripping himself in two. He’ll probably wake up in the middle of the night five years from now and wonder about the academic response to Obi-Wan’s most recent publication.

He’ll probably have read it. He’ll probably still be fielding questions from his kids’ friends’ parents about whatever happened to that handsome man that used to come in to help during Show-And-Tell Day? Do you remember who I’m talking about, Anakin?

If he had left then, the idea of leaving now wouldn’t hurt so much. But there’s a ticking clock in his head.

Obi-Wan kissed him.

But he was thinking about Satine.

He calls Padme, because that’s sort of what he does when he doesn’t know what to do. She’s never turned him away--with the rejected marriage proposal being the one glaring exception, of course.

Thankfully, she doesn’t start now, though she does sound a little stressed when she picks up.

“Hey,” he says trying to sound normal and as if he isn’t a few minutes alone with his thoughts away from crying like a baby.

“Ani?”

“Are you--are you busy? Something sort of happened.”

“My flight is boarding,” Padme admits, but there’s a rustle on the other end of the line like she’s just sat down. “But it’s not like I’m not assigned a seat. They won’t leave without me. What happened?”

Anakin smiles in spite of himself. She’s really just such an angel of a person.

“Are the children alright?” she asks, sounding worried the longer it takes for Anakin to respond. “Ani?”

“No, yeah, the children are fine. I dropped them off at school this morning. But. Um.” He takes a deep breath. “Obi-Wankissedme.”

“I’m sorry?” Padme asks.

“Obi-Wan kissed me.”

The other end of the line is silent. “And we’re calling this a problem now?” she asks faintly. “Is he a bad kisser?”

“He’s a great kisser,” Anakin defends, shifting awkwardly on his feet, catching sight of the fridge door and quickly turning away.

“Then I don’t…?” Padme trails off uncertainly. Anakin can understand this confusion. Padme has only had to hear about how much Anakin wants Obi-Wan to kiss him for about two years now.

“I don’t think he realized he did it,” Anakin confesses. “He just did it as he was leaving. Because I said goodbye. It--I don’t think he realized who he was kissing.”

Now Padme sounds a distinct mix of skeptical and sympathetic, a tone Anakin’s only ever heard her use with him. “What makes you say that?”

“Because--because we went to the park the other day and he ran into his ex-wife and they were together for, for years so--so obviously he just--he wasn’t--it wasn’t me he was kissing. He was thinking about Satine.”

The words sound dull and practiced and lifeless.

“Oh, Anakin,” Padme says.

“And they’re probably gonna get back together, and we’re going to have to leave, and he’ll never know that I--” Anakin cuts himself off and thunks his head on the countertop with a groan.

Padme hums disbelievingly. “Anakin, I know you’ve never believed me when I say this, but that man is gone over you. And I think if he kissed you long enough for you to tell me for certain that he’s a good kisser, then he definitely knew he was kissing you.”

Anakin bites his lip and debates the pros and cons of being completely truthful. But he had called Padme for help, and she can’t provide the best advice if she doesn’t know the full story.

“That’s not the first time he’s kissed me,” Anakin finally admits, rubbing bashfully at the back of his neck.

“What?” Padme exclaims, probably much louder than appropriate for a public space. “Anakin Skywalker, explain yourself right now.”

He exhales forcefully. “Last New Year’s Eve party.”

“That was almost a year ago! And nothing else ever happened between you two? What? We always thought that once the first kiss was out of the way we’d need to beat you both with sticks to keep you off each other.”

“Well--wait, who’s we?”

Padme tsks. “Myself and Obi-Wan’s coworker.”

“You’ve been gossiping about me?” Anakin asks, torn between being flabbergasted and offended.

“That’s not important right now,” Padme says airily. “What’s important here is the fact that you apparently kissed Obi-Wan Kenobi and never told me?”

“He doesn’t remember, okay?” Anakin snaps. “He. We’d been drinking. A lot. It was after everyone left. And. I was in the kitchen and he was in the kitchen and he--”

--had pinned him to the front of the fridge and just looked at Anakin for a few seconds like he was the most precious, important thing in the entire world, and Anakin had opened his mouth to say something and Obi-Wan had--

“--kissed me,” Anakin says out loud. “And then he--”

He had pressed impossibly closer to Anakin, one hand wrapped around his hip, caressing the thin skin there while his other hand ghosted down Anakin’s hair and back as if he couldn’t decide where he wanted to touch, as his tongue mapped out Anakin’s mouth for what could have been seconds or minutes, and Anakin could have stayed there forever, but his own hands had grabbed too tightly onto Obi-Wan’s shoulders, must have jerked him forward too roughly, because he had been pushed away and--

“--threw up in the kitchen sink,” he finishes.

There’s dead silence on the other end of the line before Padme bursts out laughing. “Okay, okay,” she says once she’s calmed down. “But how do you know for sure he forgot about that? Sounds like something he might just never want to talk about if it ended up with him vomiting in the kitchen.”

“I just know,” Anakin promises. And he does. Obi-Wan had no idea about that kiss. It was a secret Anakin thought about too often, but one he had kept to himself for nearly a year, too afraid to reveal it to Obi-Wan only for the man to say he hadn’t meant to, it hadn’t meant anything, he’d been much too drunk.

Even the idea of Obi-Wan apologizing for one of the hottest kisses Anakin’s ever experienced in his life has been enough to keep Anakin silent on the matter.

But now he’s been kissed again, this time by a sober Obi-Wan, and it still--it still doesn’t mean anything.

“It didn’t mean anything to him then, or he would have remembered,” Anakin tells Padme. “And this one doesn’t mean anything either. The timing is just...it can’t be a coincidence, Padme. He’s never once thought about kissing me, about...about coming home to me like that, and now, a few days after he runs into his ex-wife he’s suddenly planting one on me as he walks out the door? I know--I know you think he...he might...he might have liked me, or...or wanted me, but. There’s no way I can hold a candle to a decades long marriage. I just. I can’t compete with that. He doesn’t want me to.”

Padme’s Anakin is cut off on her end by what sounds like a flight attendant. “Yes, I’m coming,” Padme tells the person, and there’s shuffling and then the distinct sound of the harsh beep of the ticket scanner, before Padme’s heels are clicking on the flight tunnel. “Do not rush me,” Padme tells someone. “What are you going to do, close this thing while I’m in it?”

Anakin has to hide his only sort of watery smile in his hand as he listens quietly on his end.

“Anakin?” Padme asks, and she must be on the plane because there’s a buzz of other people’s noises around her. “Anakin, I know you won’t believe me, and maybe--maybe you’re right and they’ll get back together, maybe you’re going to lose him.” Anakin’s heart hurts quite painfully at these words. “But do you remember what you did the first time you proposed to me and I said no?”

Great, yeah. Just bring up all his biggest failures in love. Sure, why start with Padme? When Anakin had been five he had tried to kiss a boy and been shoved into the mud for his efforts. That’s a fine place to begin, really. Just drag up all the old hurts. He sighs. “I went and got you a bigger ring.”

“And do you remember what you did when I told you that I couldn’t raise the children, but my parents wanted to?”

“I threatened to take them to court if they didn’t let me have them,” Anakin says. It hadn’t been his proudest moment, of course, but Padme’s parents had never really liked him. They still don’t.

Someone’s trying to talk to Padme on the other end of the line. “Yes, fine,” she snaps. “Anakin. Anakin, what I’m trying to say is I’ve never seen you give up on anything without at least trying to fight for it. And I don’t know why this should be different. You won’t be able to live with yourself if you have to watch him get back together with his ex-wife and know you never even tried to tell him he had other options.”

Anakin opens and closes his mouth, speechless. “Then what--”

“So go,” Padme cuts him off. “Go tell him he has other options! For fuck’s sake, yes, alright I’m getting off the phone. Anakin, when I land I expect to have a very detailed account of events waiting for me on my email. Goodbye.”

She hangs up. Anakin stares at the phone in his hand for a handful of seconds, thinking over what she’s said. What she’s implied.

She’s right, of course. Anakin never gives in this easily. He doesn’t fully understand why he’s so ready to capitulate now. Maybe he knows full-well he can’t compete with whatever Obi-Wan had with his ex-wife. They have history. They grew up together, became adults together. Anakin’s just this weird twenty-eight year old man with a pair of kids too old for his age who crashed at Obi-Wan’s house during the lowest moment of his life. Of maybe both of their lives.

Love can’t bloom from that. Not really. Not...not the sort of love that turns into a lifelong marriage.

But. Padme’s right. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he doesn’t try. If he doesn’t know for sure.

So either he could putter around the house all day waiting for Obi-Wan to text or call or come home, talking himself into and out of confessing every emotion he’s harbored for the man for the past two years, or….or he could drive to his campus and confront him in his office, put himself on the execution block and hand Obi-Wan the axe. At least it would be a quick death.

He glances at the digital clock on the oven. 9:38. The idea of waiting ten hours for a resolution makes his skin crawl.

And besides.

Obi-Wan hadn’t packed a lunch.

#this is unread through #because i have housework i have put off in order to type this #i think we all know where this is going though #anakins gonna Do Something Ill-Advised #asks #KUWSK #poor anakin :'(#i imagine obi-wan was probably very pensive for the rest of the day after the park #and anakins just panicking and thinking that he's thinking about his ex wife #and obi-wan kind of is but he's mostly thinking about his new family #and he's thinking a lot about anakin #if only they c o m m u n i c a t e d

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razorblade180 · 4 years ago

Text

Interdimensional Moms pt3

Part 2 right here! <-

Team RWBY continue their interesting chat about their respective worlds. After the emotional roller coaster that was Weiss’s, a bit of light hearted stories would be welcomed.

Yang:Okay, does anyone have some real feel good things to talk about for their world? Just run of the mill pleasant life?

Ruby:Guess I’m going last....

Yang:Oh no!

Weiss:We’ll circle back to you then. Blake, I guess you’re up.

Blake:Wouldn’t you want calmer stuff at the end?

Yang:Blake, I would very much like to go at least ten minutes without wanting to cry.

Blake:Hmmmm I can guarantee you like...six I think.

Yang:I’ll take it! Blake Belladonna, tell me about a world where you and Jaune Arc are happily married. How did such stars align?

Blake:You make it sound crazy?

Weiss:Blake, there’s list of people I could see you with. Now I’m not saying Jaune couldn’t be one of them, but he’d have to fight his way up that list.

Blake:You...that’s kinda fair. It’s a bit hard to explain really. It happened back at Beacon initially, or our bonding did. Some days his team was busy and I didn’t tag along for the crazy antics you three wanted to do all the time, so we occasionally bumped into each by circumstances. He’d go to the library for a book, I’d do training and he was there, or sometimes he’d knock on our door and not realize I was the only one around.

Weiss:Was he trying to sing to me?

Blake:That plan did show up at our a few times, yes. One of those times I asked him out of nowhere to sing the song anyways because I just had to know if it was any good. Hehe, it wasn’t sonically pleasing at times, but you could tell it was genuine. Eventually though...he just sort of gave up on you. It was actually a little sad to see, even you thought so. It was strange. Jaune was definitely stumbling through his flirting and it came off as childish, yet the day he gave up, it was easy to see his heart was breaking a bit. Like all his insecurities ate even the faux confidence away.

Yang:Ma’am, it has barely been three minutes and I’m getting sad about thinking of Jaune being sad.

Weiss:Yeah don’t tell me I broke his heart!

Blake:Whoops, sorry. It’s important though. Jaune kinda kept to himself a little more after that. He still chatted pretty regularly but it was easy to tell he dived more in studies as a way to keep his head clear, which lead to us being on a project together. I was the only person in our friend group that wouldn’t actively try to make him open up about how he feeling. At first I thought it was a bit rude when he told me that, but I didn’t room to talk when it comes to socializing.

Yang:One more time for the people in the back.

Ruby:I’m the back.

Blake:*smirks* I was very against socializing about my feelings at Beacon.

Ruby:Yeah you were.

Weiss:I couldn’t even ask if you slept well without a lukewarm answer sometimes.

Blake:I’m better now. That’s all that matters. Romance and feeling love is a personal thing and talking about it is uncomfortable. I think we both recognized that in each other during our project. Trouble is, there’s only so many conversation starters and small talk subjects. Talking only about the project was dry and eventually all the facts a person could say about themselves ran out. Favorite food, color, hobbies, etc. We eventually had to dig a little deeper into those topics. To our surprise, we actually more in common than we thought when it came to how we felt about certain pieces of literature and music.

Ruby:Awwww, bonding over smut.

Blake:*red* It wasn’t all adult literature! Some were poems and stuff. Even when the project ended, we began being less formal around each other and hanging out. We went to the bookstores we mentioned and he even got us tickets to bands I liked. It...it was nice. I never really got to have just a normal teenage experience before without it being political. He always felt bad about being average compared to everyone but average was so foreign to me that I welcomed it. I liked having a normal time out. It was a thing we all took for granted. Especially when Beacon fell.

Yang:Yeah, that probably put a real bind on your relationship.

Blake:Actually....we technically never officially started to date.

Ruby:What? You courted each other all of Beacon.

Weiss:Ruby, who the heck says courted? I’m a Schnee and even I have never used the word courted.

Ruby:Hush, I read a lot of bed time stories to a five year old.

Blake:We were a bit shaky on labels. Me for obvious reasons. As for Jaune, it’s really true about what they say about guys when they get heart broken.

Yang: “Never again.”

Blake:Hehehe, it’s funny to look back at it but he’ll tell you it’s a bit cringy. He was so on gaurd. I could tell all the time when he was mentally telling himself to not be excited whenever we hung out or I complimented him.

Ruby:Hey it takes guts to shift feelings to a teammate of your first crush. That could blow up in your face.

Blake:Yeah...about that. *looks at Yang* you...were another reason why nothing was official. You uhhh, we actually had some jumbled up emotions.

Weiss:*sarcastic gasp* You and Yang, liking each other? Who could’ve seen that coming?

Yang:Was it mutual or...

Blake:Very mutual. Also...intimate at times.

Yang:*red* Oh....yeah. Yeah that tracks.

Blake:That jumbled mess was only more confusing after you got hurt trying to rescue me from Adam. Meeting up with-

Ruby:Question, so was Sun just not on your radar?

Blake:Sun? We’re just friends. He’s cute and I’m glad he was there for me when I needed help but things between us were always pretty calm. I think he noticed how confused I was with other people in my life and chose to not add to it.

Ruby:Bless him. Please continue.

Blake:Learning about Salem and reconnecting with you all was a lot. I’d really been out of the loop and my Yang and I were on....shaky ground.

Yang:That’s what happens when you leave someone who’s been left their entire life.

Blake:Sigh...yeah. It was a trying time, but not with JNPR. It’s funny, Oscar and I also hit it off quite well from the jump. I think we were both glad to have each other learn on the craziness at once. Even with readjusting, Jaune and I fell back into a groove naturally. Instead of doing average things we day dreamed of the things we did. Once again we become this little slice of simple life in this crazy adventure. Still didn’t date.

Weiss:What is this, a slow burn!?

Yang:Weiss, you literally didn’t date your Jaune until Atlas.

Weiss:There’s a difference. I didn’t make any heart eyes at him until around Atlas. I say I may have been a little quick. These two were “courting” for over a year at this point.

Ruby:Stop making fun of me!

Blake:Well anyways, I wouldn’t say much was too eventful in terms of romance with world destroying things happening. Salem, she was way too much to deal with. Every move age did was calculated and unrelenting. Keeping our head above water wasn’t easy. In fact, it was boarder line impossible. Yang and I barely beat Adam after all.

Yang:How’d you two feel about that?

Blake:Relieved. Huge weight off my mind, and yet...a piece of me still wishes things never got so dire. At least now I know that in another world, things aren’t.

Ruby:Sounds like your world was put through their paces? You survived though.

Blake:Not conventionally. I gotta say, hearing the ages and how you beat Salem so far makes me feel more than a little embarrassed. To be frank, we didn’t have this grand battle that involved the entire world making a final stand. We had Atlas, and then we had Haven. With their might and a plan to gain more time, we managed to seal Salem in a vault.

Yang:*chokes on water* Y- cough what!?

Ruby:You put her in a vault!?

Weiss:Thah sounds harder than a last stand honestly.

Blake:No matter what way we looked at things, we just weren’t ready for her, so we locked her away until we were. Two years on constant defense from her followers and grimm until Ruby had trained enough to use her silver eyes and we were all strong enough.

Ruby:Two years!? How old was I then?

Blake:Twenty I believe.

Weiss:Hey, you beat mine by a year.

Yang:Not mine, I think we either tied or just narrowly beat yours by like a year. Honestly it hard to keep track of birthdays and stuff.

Ruby:Wow. No offense to myself, but that’s a little disappointing. I guess being the same person really doesn’t mean we were all at the same level.

Blake:Hey, my Ruby put everything she had into saving the world. There wasn’t a second she wasn’t trying her best to defend it!

Ruby:My point exactly. If that was her at her absolute best then by all accounts, she doesn’t hold a candle to me; at least back then anyways. But I have no reason to believe she would be at my level now.

Yang:Okay little miss prideful, care to tell us when you saved the-

Ruby:Seventeen.

The reaper took a long swig of coffee while the others processed that information. It took a her a couple of seconds to realize she may be acting just a tad bit arrogant.

Ruby:Uhh, sorry. I think I was tooting my own horn a bit there.

Weiss:Seventeen....why so soon?

Yang:Why? Don’t you mean how?

Blake:That’s....almost unbelievable.

Ruby:Really? I don’t think so. I’ll dive into it when it’s my turn but for now all I really gotta say is people needed help, and I was going to answer those cries. I bet your Ruby had a similar urgency in her, but for some reason or another just had different limitations. I got hurt a lot as a kid. Maybe an injury did more damage in one universe than another? Who can say?

Blake:I...wouldn’t know. Odd, I know if my Ruby heard this, then she’d probably be more than a little upset. Saving lives is still what she’s all about. I know when she put everything she had into fighting Salem when the day came. All that training paid off. Her skills were polished and her silver eyes eradicated the grimm essence in Salem.

Ruby:Wait, she’s not dead?

Blake:No. Salem roams Remnant with Oz keeping an eye on her until one day she can finally grasp the lesson the gods wanted her to have.

Yang:That uhhh sounds risky.

Weiss:Yet oddly okay?

Blake:Funny, my Weiss said that too. Those two get checked on in secret. Can’t be too careful. With Salem beaten though, Remnant entered a state of...let’s call it average chaos. All in all, it’s way more peaceful but you know, people will be people. Downside about a secret war is you don’t get the unity of the masses. Atlas and Haven working together was still a great step in the right direction though.

Yang:Woah, I’m a little jealous. My world felt like a race against the clock. The pressure either broke you or made you harder than diamond, with most people crushing under it.

Weiss:Yeah. The tension and meet of extremes I had on the frontlines was beyond imagination. The unity was great, but to feel it on the battlefield against the odds was feeling with way too much adrenaline and stress. Can’t say I enjoyed it. I simply lived through it.

Blake:Well it isn’t like I had a walk in the park. But I guess in comparison, my experience was a tad more mellow. Still, people were lost and hurt. Oscar isn’t himself anymore, don’t have Penny, former classmates and a few enemies turned allies fell in battle. Family.... it took a bunch to get the plan of containing, then it took a lot more to do it. In a way though, the two years of training is time I can’t regret. It tested bonds, strengthening and reestablishing others.

Ruby:I take it since love couldn’t bloom on the battlefield, it bloomed in the training yards?

Blake:*red* You can say that. That’s when Jaune and I got serious. *frowning* But.....

Yang:We fell apart?

Blake:Yeah. I didn’t learn my lesson well enough the first time about the potential problems of dating a partner. Only difference this time was I felt like I was the one being cruel. We had gotten into arguments and apologized more than once. Your fear of being left and my own insecurities just kept butting heads. I’d cry, you’d cry, our friends would be concerned. Then the day came where you put it all on the line. You confessed genuinely how much you loved me and how you felt a bit jealous when it came to Jaune. I had never seen you look so vulnerable; letting your gaurd completely down. And though a piece of me loved you and wanted you in my life for ever....this sense of genuine comfort Jaune gave was something I want-needed for so long. So I did the one thing I didn’t want to do. I broke your heart. I hurt you again.

Yang:Sigh....*leans back in chair* Okay, let’s see how well I know myself. My eyes went red automatically, followed by tears. I lashed out at you angrily out of pain and embarrassment until I was probably blue in the face. But to take make things worse, somebody probably overheard. No matter who it was, I yelled at them too for trying to calm me down and then I eventually run off leaving everyone unhappy. A good old meltdown. Sound about right?

Blake:To the letter. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so distraught.

Yang:Of course not, I’ve never been in love before meeting you. I....did a similar thing with my Blake over the stupid Adam shit. *covers face* of all the things to be similar, it had to be my temper. Please tell me our team didn’t suffer too harshly?

Blake:The good thing about two years of training was it didn’t have to be together all the time. Team RWBY didn’t fall apart, but it didn’t feel comfortable either. Outside of missions, the four of us didn’t hang out as much. It was three at the most. Nobody pinned blame on me or Yang for it but it was obvious.

Ruby:I mean how can you blame someone for feeling sad or not in love with someone? Pointing fingers doesn’t do anything. However, I bet missions were rough.

Blake:Bumblebee was shelved. We did any other team up we could. When push came to shove, Yang and I did put feelings aside. Neither of us wanted our feelings to get anyone killed. That’s probably what kept us connected for awhile, especially with Salem. I don’t think we questioned each other when it came to watching one another’s back. Slowly, our relationship got a bit better. Until....we stopped speaking to each other altogether about a couple years later.

Yang:Wait, why!?

Blake:I got pregnant.

The three listeners’ faces scrunched up and they let in a sharp breath like they just got cut. No one had considered that bombshell.

Blake:Marriage was rough enough. Having Jaune’s kid and starting a family just...cut deep I guess. You didn’t make a scene or anything if that’s what you’re worried about. One day you told me “I just can’t do this” and exited my life. I wanted to keep you close to me, but you wanted to be closer. That was a thing I couldn’t do. Hehe, I can’t tell you how weird it is talking to you like this again.

Yang:So that’s it!? We just don’t see each other at all!?

Blake:Certain events and celebrations have us in the same room, but that’s all. Ruby is the only thing that regularly links us, but she’s busy living life too.

Ruby:Is it a good life?

Blake:The best. You’re the huntress you always wanted to be and a hero to many.

Ruby:*smiles* Really? That’s good. May she ride that high for as long as she can. Though I bet she wished she had a special someone to share that with.

Blake:Huh? Oh, you married Weiss.

Weiss:*red* What!?

Ruby:Aye, nice.

Weiss:Weren’t you upset about thinking of other people with Jaune besides you!?

Ruby:Yeah, but I won’t deny if I am going to be with someone that isn’t him, I’m very happy it’s the other special person in my life. I mean come on, the only reason we don’t get weird in your universe is because I married your brother and you already invited my sister.

Weiss:I mean...it’s mainly the brother portion. The second part...

Ruby:Weiss, that’s weird.

Yang:Eh...

Ruby:IT’S WEIRD! YOU CANNOT TELL ME OTHERWISE!

Yang:*sips coffee* Eh.

Blake:Anyways, Weiss, you’re running your company. The Schnee Dust Company was scrubbed top to bottom to remove as much corruption as possible. No department was overlooked. In times of money, there’s a notable decrease in how much the company used to make.

Weiss:Gee, I wonder if that’s because the other me is doing oh let me guess, paying all their workers and not cutting corners in safety?

Blake:The SDC people approval has gone up considerably, just so you know that too. Turns out people like it when the company they buy from have good morals.

Weiss:Am I happy though? I make time for my social life and hu- I mean wife?

Blake:Yea, you’re happy. In a way I think we’re all happy, but....

Yang:We’d be happier if we were all happy together? Yeah, that’s how it works. You’re only as happy as the most miserable person in a family or group; if you all care about each other that is. Ugh, I wanna punch the other me. I get how she feels but it’s fucking immature to just ignore years of teamwork and family. At the end of the day, team RWBY is a family! Can’t believe I’d runaway from it instead of figuring out...I don’t know! Something!

Blake:*small smile* Well if you feel that way then there’s no reason to believe she doesn’t. My Yang just struggles with it more I guess, but I hope she can come around one day. Not really for my sake, but for her own peace of mind. As well as Lucas’s.

Ruby:Lucas? Your son I take it?

Blake:Mmhmm. My strong and lazy young man. He got his father’s hair but my eyes and ears. I can’t think of a person who warms my heart quite like him. He acts uninterested in a lot of things, but his heart is so big.

Weiss:Ah, so he’s just you?

Blake:More or less hehe. Though I’d say I was passionate about things all my life. Lucas will sleep all day if he could and doesn’t like going out without a reason.

Weiss:Still sounds like you if I’m being honest. Teenager?

Blake:Seventeen, almost eighteen.

Yang:You said he’s need peace of mind too? I’m not...hostile towards him am I?

Blake:No, not by a long shot. On the occasions you two have meant, you were polite. It’s just he knows why you don’t visit or talk to me. That’s rough, knowing your parent’s closest friend stopped being apart of their life because you were born. I think sometimes he believes it’s actually his fault.

Yang:I really, really want to meet this other me and have a few words. She needs to know she isn’t trying hard enough. I’m proof.

Ruby:Yeah, but you’re only well off because the person that helped you get over Blake, was Jaune. Yeah she still can find love, but who that person will be would be uncharted territory for everyone.

Blake:Also I’m not entirely sure exactly if my Yang is even bi like you.

Yang:Sigh....

Weiss:Love.

Blake:Huh?

Weiss:As long as a person shows your Yang genuine love and a place in their heart where she’ll remain forever, Yang would fall for them. They just have to make it a point to make her feel like they’ll stay. Yangs are softies like that.

Yang:Wow, you an expert on me and all the versions of me now?

Weiss:No, you’re just a bleeding heart that’s super emotional. Let me guess, you fell for Jaune the moment you realized just how relaxed and vulnerable you could allow yourself to be around him.

Yang:*red*.......he holds me when I’m overwhelmed.

RWB:Awwww

Yang:Shut up! Blake, take the heat off me.

Blake:Not too much more. Lucas is a smart kid who generally stays out of trouble. Unfortunately, trouble finds him. Mainly because of his semblance.

Ruby:Don’t tell me...

Blake:No no, it’s not bad luck like your uncle, but Lucas can’t always control it so their similar in that regard. Premonitions, that’s his semblance.

Weiss:Like...the future? You child can see the future?!

Blake:Yeah. *sips drink* it’s terrible.

Ruby:What? That sounds so handy! Man, if I could someone fighting me before it happened, I’d be a monster on the battlefield.

Blake:Lucas isn’t a fighter. Well, he’s not aspiring to fight. He can fight, pretty dang well in fact.; but randomly seeing the future is not a gift. Imagine picking up a book and you suddenly know the ending, or watching a movie and you start seeing the middle of it right after you press play?

Yang:Ahhh, that’s why he’s lazy and unmotivated. His semblance is massive spoiler alert. Half the fun of new things is not knowing what will happen.

Ruby:Oof, you have a point. I’d be paranoid to no end.

Blake:To a point, he was. Ever since he was ten. Disasters happen at the drop of a hat. Lucas isn’t the kind of person to watch bad things unfold, so whenever it was possible or even if it was risky, he’d do whatever he could to prevent said disaster. But.....there’s only so much anyone person can do. There’s only so much information he sees. The constant strain and guilt that came from failing ate him up. The. There’s the incidents he’s seen that didn’t show him how it began or how it will end. *rubbing her hands* It’s bad...

Weiss:Hey, I...I’ve noticed your hands and frankly even your face are a bit....slim. Your skin isn’t as colorful as I’m used to either. Almost like it’s regaining color.

Blake:Hehehe.......I guess you were bound to notice of all people.

Weiss:Of course. I may not run a a company in my world but I keep tabs on my brother and have had my fair share of visits to a doctor. Why wouldn’t I notice.

Yang:So can we talk as if there are people who have no clue what’s going on?

Weiss:Blake has had one of two things happen to her. She’s either worked way too hard to the point she’s not taking care of her health, or she’s fallen very ill and her body is still recovering.

Blake:Yeah, it’s more of the second one, but probably because of the first one as well. Forwarding equality, I was overzealous with it. One day Lucas just started shaking and crying when he was twelve and I couldn’t understand why. Turns out he kept seeing me bedridden and unconscious without a reason. Day in and day out he simply cried and tried his best to get another premonition to learn more, but couldn’t. A week later I started feeling a little dizzy, and then blacked out after vomiting. At first I thought maybe I had the flu or something. Nope, a tumor.

Weiss:What?

Ruby:Blake!?

Yang:Oh shit, are you-

Blake:Perfectly fine! *smiles* I’m fine. Liver cancer, but it was caught early. No more tumor what so ever, but the meds and the entire process was really draining. Got sicker a couple of times. Not once did I feel like I was dying necessarily, more like...slipping? I felt myself getting drained. The whole time Lucas was so scared; blaming himself for not preventing this or knowing how to fix it. Though simply knowing he saw me like was a warning most people wish they got. I know I said seeing the future is terrible, but the scariest part through all of this was not knowing how it ended. Choosing medicine, doctors, surgery possibilities, it made me crack under pressure a little. I think he noticed that. I wasn’t sure if I picking an option that lead me dying or getting better. The stress alone may have killed me. Ever since then Lucas hasn’t been so outgoing.

Ruby:....

Weiss:....

Yang....It was already said, but there was no way this wasn’t going to get sad was there?

Blake:Take it from me, there’s joy in pain. So many people came to visit me when I was recovering. Even Yang dropped by for a bit. After I got out, I don’t think Lucas ever hugged me so hard. Jaune tried to stay calm through the whole ordeal but it was rough for him too. He was all but spent emotionally when I came home.

Weiss:I’m surprised Lucas didn’t become an older brother.

Blake:The last thing a recovering patient needs is a pregnancy, but as far as missing me goes...

Ruby:You can stop right there with that tangent.

Yang:We’ll talk about that in private. I wouldn’t mind that story.

Blake:*playfully rolls eyes* These days I try not to over do things. I’ve only officially been deemed completely cured for about a year. I can feel that I’m still not entirely up to strength. It’s fine though. It gives me an excuse for Lucas to dote on me a little. He’s a mama’s boy at heart. My biggest worries these days is peeling him out of this shell his semblance had put him in. At the very least I want him to smile like he used to and find away to live in moment when possible. His entire life is ahead of him. Hopefully he doesn’t see all of it.

Ruby:I guess too much of anything really is bad. Knowledge included. I hope things work out.

Yang:Me too. A happy life is something you definitely earned.

Blake:Thanks. That seriously means a lot, which is why I made sure to not end this on a sour note.

The happy faunus pulled out her scroll to scroll through pictures and her friends eyes lit up. The first one was a beach photo. This Jaune was different from what they were used to. He let his hair grow a little bit longer and the back went down his neck, but it was definitely still him. This jaune was pretty toned and went for a lean look than bulky like Weiss’s, but a tad slimmer. On his shoulders was an adorable toddler with wide amber eyes and big blonde cat ears. Both men were enjoying the sunset on the waves.

The next photo was more recent with Blake right in the middle of hopping into Lucas’s arms. Weiss noticed the girl still had on the hospital bracelet. She must’ve just gotten cleared. Lucas had grown like a weed. He was now roughly Jaune’s height. His hair was messy and looked like Jaune’s in his younger years. Also like his father, Lucas was jacked! His sleeveless purple shirt should off his biceps as they wrapped around Blake’s torso for a hug. His baggy purple shorts had black and gold trim through the seams and the shorts stopped right below his knees; but showed of his well defined calves. A smile of pure joy and what could’ve been a few tears were visible as he looked lovingly at his mother. It warmed all of the ladies hearts. Still, the girls also could tell under his eyes were a little dark. Lucas must’ve been very tired.

The final picture had to be the most recent. It was Blake and Lucas sparring. Both looked at each other with excitement and ease as their wooden blades clashed. Their clothes mirrored one another by being black and white kimonos. They even wore the traditional shoes and everything.

Weiss:Yeah, that’s your kid.

Blake:Damn right. Unfortunately that makes him a little too stubborn. But I guess that’s okay. Without a doubt, someone’s gonna break through that shell of his.

Yang:Oh? It sounds like you already know who?

Blake:Well....I have a hunch.

xxxxx

RING! RING! RING! Lucas’s scroll chirped, in the middle of the night. The boy let out a long, agitated groan of sleepiness as he rolled over in bed; reaching for his scroll on the nightstand to answer.

Lucas:Hello?

???:Did you know you are mathematically more likely to choke on a hotdog than get attacked by a shark?

Lucas:....Serenity, who gave you my number?

Serenity:Your parents, and it’s Serendipity!

Lucas:Too many syllables. Also a bit ironic given who you are. With the way you act though, my name for you is better.

Serenity:Ooooo so we’re moving on to pet names? How forward of you.

Lucas:Five seconds before I hang up. Three...two-

Serenity:You’re late! You promised to guide me around the beach at twelve. That’s now.

Lucas:.....P.M. Twelve P.M. Serenity. Why in the world would I mean midnight!?

Serenity:It’s romantic and personal. Nobody else is around. I thought you were trying to use that Belladonna magic on me by acting all cool and aloof in the moonlight.

Lucas:.....

Lucas:Please delete my number.

Serenity:Not on your life, my whiskered bodyguard!

Lucas:Don’t have whiskers-

Serenity:If you don’t wanna move that butt of yours to hang out with a pretty girl in a floppy hat and sundress with a bikini underneath, that’s your loss. I’m still going for a dip.

Lucas:Do not go in the water when nobody is around.

Serenity:Pfft, I’m a strong swimmer.

Lucas:Sharks.

Serenity:It’s more dangerous to eat a hotdog.

Lucas:Sharks feed at night.

Serenity:Are you trying to tell me the statistics aren’t as reliable just because it’s nighttime.

Lucas:That’s exactly what I’m saying.

Serenity:Then you better move your butt just in case. Either you get a snack or the sharks do. Either way, I get attention.

Lucas:Difference is one wants to eat you.

Serenity:My goodness Lucas, oh brazen of you.

Lucas:......

Lucas:Tell the sharks I said hi.

Serenity:Okay! Byyyyyyeeeee! *hangs up*

Lucas:(She’ll be fine.)

..........

Lucas:*putting on shoes* This is bullshit. Who thinks midnight!? *walking down stairs* Can’t have a peaceful day or night....

Jaune:*watching tv* Hey Lucas, going some-

Lucas:I’m giving out your phone number to a homeless man the first chance I get! *walks out door*

Jaune:.....(Whatever gets you outside more.)

It took about fifteen minutes of aggressive walking for Lucas to wrap around to the back of his house towards their section of the beach. Where Serenity walked around humming and collecting seashells without a care in the world.

Lucas:The next shell you grab will have a crab in it.

Serenity:Huh? Oh hey you’re finally-ahhhh! Ow ow ow ow ow ow!

Lucas:Should’ve listened.

Serenity:Have a better warning!!!! It won’t let go!

Lucas:Pull it off.

Serenity:That’s hurt!!! Lucas, help!

Lucas:Fine, if you delete my number.

Serenity:*sniffling* Stop being mean!!! This really hurts, it’s breaking the skin. Isn’t a young and pretty girl’s tears payment enough!? I thought you were getting paid to-

Lucas:Oh my goodness! Okay, just shush. I’m too sleepy for this.

Serenity:You’re mean when you’re sleepy. At least your waking up voice sounds handsome though.

Lucas:Please....stop. Stop everything. *removing crab* Happy?

Serenity:No, you’re not happy. Also my finger is bleeding.

Lucas:Yep, looks like you can’t go swimming now for real.

Serenity:Eh, I lied anyways. I’m not getting in that water. There are sharks in that watery grave.

Lucas:So. Why. Did. You. Wake. Me. Up?

Serenity:....*red* I...don’t really, have friends here. Besides you. Umm *points to pail and shovels* sandcastles?

Lucas:*inhales*......I’ll get the water.

Serenity:*smiles* Yes! I’ll delete your number later.

Lucas:*red* You....can keep it of you really want.

Serenity:....Kek, okay Mr. Tsundere

Lucas:You can remove the next crab alone.

Serenity:Don’t joke like that! That was a joke, right?

Lucas:Welp that pail isn’t gonna fill itself. *leaves*

Serenity:What!? Lucas!!! You were joking right!? Right!? *looking around the sand* you’re a lousy bodyguard!

Lucas:Good, fire me.

Serenity:I...you....ugh!

Lucas:Cheer up, I’m happy now after all. *smiles*

Serenity:*pouting* This is why I’m a dog person.

#rwby #the void #jaune arc #ruby rose #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #rwby knightshade #lucas belladonna #rwby ships #rwby premonition

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melzula · 4 years ago

Text

The Throne

part one

pairing: Zuko x Princess!reader

notes: so excited to finally be getting into the Koa storyline with you guys! I hope you enjoy ♡

summary: though a party is held in her honor, the Princess doesn’t feel welcomed home just yet. but will the help of some old friends bring her one step closer to taking back the throne from the scheming Koa?

~ part of the fire lilies series ~

Your crown weighs heavily upon your head as you walk through the palace hallways, chin held high but shoulders tense as you pass by the guards and officials who look at you with silent judgement in their eyes. None of the faces are familiar as all of the men you’d known growing up had been sent off to war and killed in battle. The new recruits now in charge of protecting the royal family all had been assigned by Koa, and you’d have to be blind—sorry, Toph— to ignore the malice and resentment in their hard set gazes as they watched the girl undeserving of her title waltz by as if she hadn’t abandoned her people for the enemy. Koa had made it adamantly clear that the so-called Princess cared not for her tribe but rather her own selfish wants and desires, and they believed him.

Outside the palace servants and cooks and decorators all scramble by in preparation for the party being held in your honor; your mother had insisted on a welcoming party to celebrate your return, though you doubted many people shared her sentiment. There were a handful of members from the tribe who were so glad to have you back, who showered you in warmth and thanked you for aiding the Avatar in ending the war so that their husbands and fathers could return safely, and little girls who shyly tugged at the skirts of your dresses and expressed their admiration for you and their desire to one day be a strong, fierce fighter like you. But there were also those who overlooked your accomplishments in order to focus upon your faults and your mistakes, who agreed that you were not ready to take control of the throne and some who even went as far as to say you were undeserving of it, that a water bending princess who strayed from healing and trained in fighting was untraditional. And of course, there was the group of indifference who needed extra persuasion to decide whether they were for or against you. Overall, the party didn’t seem like the best idea, but your mother was adamant that you use the opportunity to reconnect with your people, so you obliged. You’d survived a strike from a crazed Azula, so surely you could handle this.

“Princess,” one of the servants calls, bowing before you in respect before handing you a neatly tied scroll, “a messenger hawk from the Fire Nation was sent for you with this scroll.”

“Thank you,” you nod, containing your smile as you politely dismiss her before opening the scroll to be greeted by familiar handwriting.

“Princess,

I know it’s only been a week since you’ve left but I already miss you greatly. It’s odd not having you by my side, but I know you’re doing great things back in the south. I hope to see you soon once I have all of my affairs in order, though that could be some time. Until then, expect a messenger hawk at least once a week. Take care, y/n. I love you.

- Zuko”

“Oh, Zuko,” you sigh softly, clutching the letter to your chest in a form of comfort, “I really wish you were here right now.”

It was definitely going to be a long night.

~~~

The steady beat of the drums reverberate through the walls and pound in your chest as you anxiously adjust your headpiece and prepare to make your grand entrance. The beads that hang from your jewelry click against one another with your movements, a calming sound that brings you comfort and reassurance despite your nerves, and you are only allowed a single moment to hide your scarred hands underneath the pure white fabric of your gloves before the two guards begin to escort you out to greet your tribe.

Your mother sits at the grand table amongst the elders of the tribe, a proud smile on her face as she watches you emerge from the palace with grace and dignity despite how nervous she knows you are, and as soon as your presence is announced you are greeted with an obligatory round of applause from your people. Koa rises, a bowl of black paint in his hand and unreadable expression on his lips; he does not bow to you as he is expected to, but no one other than you seems to mind.

“It is with great honor that I bestow the mark of welcoming upon our Princess,” he announces as he dips a finger into the black paint and presses four dots on each cheek before drawing an intricate swirl on your forehead meant to represent the tides washing back to the shore— a symbolic mark of your return home. “May she be welcomed with warmth and gratitude after her three year long journey from home.”

You smile proudly, waving to your tribe as some cheer and others politely clap and most share looks of uncertainty with one another. The return of their princess was now official, but one unspoken question remained: who would take the throne now? You startle at the sudden weight that falls upon your shoulder, Koa maintaining a neutral expression as he leans nearer and whispers in your ear.

“Remember Princess, this paint won’t last forever. Every welcome washes away eventually.”

He pulls away from you like nothing, leaving you stunned and stiff and with no time to recover as he smiles and announces, “Let the festivities begin!”

You are given no chance to retaliate or fight back as you are suddenly pulled every which way by your guests. You are offered various dishes, asked for endless dances, and you can’t even count how many times someone has asked to see your scars. It seems like hours pass before you are finally given a chance to breathe, seating yourself at the table and devouring your plate of puffin-seal sausages— dancing had made you absolutely famished. It’s lonely and, frankly, quite intimidating sitting at the head table by yourself, almost emphasizing the fact that despite being the Princess you aren’t exactly welcomed back, at least not completely.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” A shy voice asks. You quickly swallow the large chunk of sausage in your mouth with a grimace before turning your attention to the boy in front of you who greets you with a friendly smile and sheepish wave.

“Kai!” You exclaim, happy to have a familiar face to keep you company. “You’ve grown so much, I almost didn’t recognize you. Of course you can sit.”

“Thanks, y/n,” the boy says before seating himself beside you. Kai was the silent, soft spoken son of Koa, the boy you would have married had you not ran away. Unlike his father, Kai was good company and never once gave you any trouble. He used to bring you colorful fish scales when you were children, and because his father was your father’s advisor you often spent time together as kids. You got along well, but you never saw him as nothing more than a friend despite how often your parents tried to get you together.

“It’s so nice to see you again, Kai. I’m in great need of a friend,” you admit with a faint smile.

“Yeah, these parties are mostly for the adults if I’m being honest. But it’s nice to see you, too. You look really different. Uh, good different, of course.”

“It’s been some time since we’ve last seen each other,” you note thoughtfully, your solemn gaze focusing upon the festivities before you. “So much has changed.”

“It isn’t so different. Now that the war has ended the men are back and we can start rebuilding. The outer villages should probably receive the most attention considering how small they’ve gotten and how little resources they have, but my dad says we should focus on the capital tribe first. If we’re weak then the smaller tribes don’t even stand a chance. At least that’s what he says, anyway.”

“I agree with you,” you say, turning your attention to him then with an apologetic look on your face. “Listen, I know you were originally promised my hand in marriage, and I’m sorry for running out on you. I didn’t want to hurt you, but an arranged marriage wasn’t part of my destiny, and if I hadn’t ran away I never would have found myself or became the person I am today. I hope you can forgive me.”

“Oh, yeah,” Kai laughs quietly, awkwardly tugging at the collar of his coat. “I never really wanted to marry you anyway.”

“Wait, what?”

“My dad was the one who came up with the idea. Ever since we were kids he’d been trying to convince your dad that an arranged marriage between us would benefit the tribe, but Chief Tukon wasn’t exactly thrilled by the prospect,” Kai explains offhandedly, as if his revelation wasn’t incriminating evidence that would prove his father was up to something. “My dad was really persistent though, and once your dad was gone he convinced your mom it would be a good idea to have someone there to look after and protect you now that your father was gone. Normally a marriage like that would be untraditional, but he said the circumstances of the situation made the proposal an exception, so she accepted. Honestly, I was kind of relieved when you ran away and the wedding was called off. I mean, no offense, you’re great, but I like us better as friends.”

“Me too,” you murmur quietly, your mind reeling at the newfound information Kai has given you. All this time you had assumed the marriage proposal had been your parents doing, so to find out that it had been Koa who had been so persistent in your marrying of his son only confirmed the fact that he had been after the throne since the beginning much like you’d suspected. Regaining the throne from Koa was going to be much harder that you initially presumed, he wouldn’t give away his power that easily, and you knew then that you wouldn’t be able to do this alone.

You rise suddenly from the table, startling Kai who watches you curiously and blushes at the chaste kiss you press to his cheek.

“I have to go, but thank you so so much for keeping me company. You have no idea how much you’ve just helped me,” you explain quickly before rushing off and sneaking away from the party, leaving Kai flustered and a bit dumbfounded.

“Uh, you’re welcome...?”

~~~

You watch the early morning sunrise from beyond the horizon, the golden rays of sunshine sparkling along the crystal blue ocean and the outer walls of the palace and reflecting off the irises of your eyes. If your calculations are correct then they should be here any minute now. You’d sent the messenger hawk with a letter of urgency for assistance shortly after your conversation with Kai, and since that night you’d anxiously been awaiting the arrival of your allies. A ship approaches in the distance and you suck in a breath, wrapping your cloak (Zuko’s cloak, actually) tighter around your frame as the icy air crystallizes almost painfully in your lungs before subsiding. They’re here.

The ship pulls up silently to the dock before lowering its ramp, and tears begin to well in your eyes at the sight of the siblings who are quick to rush towards you with open arms and wide smiles.

“Y/n!” Sokka exclaims, lifting you up off the ground in a bone crushing hug before setting you back down on your feet so that Katara may do the same.

“I’ve missed you both so much, thank you for coming on such short notice,” you say with a teary eyed smile, shifting your gaze from Sokka to Katara. “I’m sorry to have pulled you away from Aang and your work on the Harmony Restoration Movement but I didn’t know who else to call.”

“Don’t apologize. As much as I love spending time with Aang, this is more important.”

“Yeah, we left as soon as we got your message,” Sokka agrees. “I can’t believe that jerk would treat you like that after everything you’ve done for our tribe!”

“I wish more people shared your sentiment,” you say with a weak smile. “I know Koa’s up to no good, but I need the proof to convince everyone else.”

“Don’t worry, Princess. Detective Sokka is on the case!” He announces firmly only for both you and Katara to shush him. It is early, after all, so most of the tribe is still asleep, and you can’t have anyone know about your plan to remove Koa from the throne.

“What my brother means to say is we’ve got your back,” Katara says with a comforting smile.

“Thank you,” you breathe, tufts of air blowing past your lips and escaping into the air. “And you told no one about why I invited you here?”

“As far as Aang and Zuko are concerned, we’re here helping you sort through your father’s old belongings and reorganizing the palace.”

“Though, I have to admit, I feel like you maybe should have told your boyfriend about this,” Sokka notes offhandedly. You frown.

“This is water tribe business, I can’t bother Zuko with something like this, not when he has his own nation to run and rebuild. Unless things take a drastic turn we won’t be telling Zuko about Koa until it’s over and done with,” you instruct, earning head nods from an understanding Katara and a reluctant Sokka.

“Alright,” he finally sighs. “So what’s first on the agenda?”

“Katara and I are going to have to look through Koa’s things for any evidence or plans he has in regards to taking over the throne permanently. Sokka, I’m going to need you to blend in with his followers because spirits know he has a lot. Try to gather whatever inside information you can, but don’t blow your cover. You’re going to hear some nasty things about me and you can’t react to them, you have to act like you believe them too,” you explain.

“We can do it,” Katara says firmly. “I’ll even talk to my dad and see if there’s any way he can help.”

“Alright, operation Get Back the Throne is a go!” Sokka says excitedly, and you can’t help the faint smile that pulls at your lips in response.

Getting rid of Koa isn’t going to be easy, not by a long shot, but with Katara and Sokka’s help you know you can put an end to this once and for all.

| tag list: @rainteslerrrr @oddment-niwit-blubber-tweak @thebluelcdy @royahllty @the-firebender-girl @coldlilheart @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @knaite-solo @zukh03s @taeeemin @user12345321 @titaniafire @dekahg @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @lozzybowe @izzieserra @melacholy @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @thirstyforsometea @ihaveaproblem98 @brown-eyed-thang @djskfkdkkf @xapham @yeetletzgetitjae @misnmatchedsox @chewymoustachio @that-bucket-hat-gal @chilifrylizard2 @kyomihann @kaylove12 @kiwihoee |

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daydreamreality · 4 years ago

Text

Thinking about actor availability, and how that affects my perception of Jess and how strongly I feel about shipping Literati.

Really thought this would only be a few paragraphs going over the points where Jess could have disappeared never to be seen again, but it turned into a freaking essay so LONG POST warning if you decide to click ahead.

If the last we saw of Jess was hanging up the phone in the season 3 finale: "Well, it was fun ride while it lasted. That's about how I thought this would end." Still have a lot empathy for this kid and wish him well, but you screwed with Rory's heart like I knew would happen. Was that intentional? No. But he was so immature, out of control with his emotions, zero communication skills, not trusting in others...the list of reasons why he wasn't ready for a serious relationship, even if the feelings were serious, goes on. There was no way Rory wasn't going to end up as collateral damage in his personal breakdown that I could feel was going to happen. And this is the thought I had as a teenager with no dating experience watching this show for the first time. Did I want to date him? Hell no! I could see that trainwreck from a mile away. Rory was naïve to put her heart in his trust but that's part of her good qualities - she's sees the best in people and champions for them. I could go on a tangent about why exactly Jess was such an important character to me when I first watched the show (and probably why he stuck around unconsciously until I decided on a whim to rewatch GG in lockdown) but...I don't know, maybe some other time.

In the context of the entire show, I would look back at the relationship as my favorite one to watch of Rory's in the series (The build-up! The connection! Their deep belief in and respect for each other! The angst!) and Jess being a really fun character to root for (and yell at) but endgame? It was a short lived but important relationship. It’s fun to think about what ifs and how circumstances could have changed to make it work, but we can move on.

The ill-fated spin-off: I have no idea what this show would have been about except focusing on Jess and Jimmy and I’m not about to theorize. I still like Jess at this point so it would probably make me like him more since we’re getting a deeper dive into his character, but in regard to shipping him with Rory, this opinion would not change unless he all of sudden showed some great maturity. But I doubt this show would have even gotten a whole season so that probably wouldn’t happen. And then he’s living in California…this is too much, moving on.

If the last we see of Jess is in season 4: About the same feeling as above. Life, as expected, has not been treating Jess well. At all. His jadedness and hostility is at an all-time high when he shows up to get his car. Do I see the reasons informing his behavior and have empathy (once again, for a KID)? Yes, but he's also being a jerk. "The years don't seem to have hardened you." Well this year sure has!

I love the "I love you" scene but too little too late, buddy. That's probably why I love it, it's all a bit hopeless. Just keep shoveling the angst at me. I do like fics where this scene is reimagined with Rory running after him to give him a piece of her mind or Jess finding some other words to say (I really feel like he had more to say there but got overwhelmed), and coming to a tentative reconciliation: exchanging numbers, "don't fall off the face of the earth," but getting back together? No. You hurt her and you're feeling the consequences. Rory is not obligated or responsible to reciprocate those feelings, nor is she in a place to do that right now.

But season 4 does cement that Luke and Jess's relationship is one of my favorites in the entire show. There's probably a whole other post in me regarding that so I'll keep it brief. Because of his respect for Luke, Jess makes tentative steps towards maturing in interpersonal relationships. He shows some vulnerability and honesty with a veil of sarcasm and awkwardness because, well, it's JESS.

But then of course this all goes to hell when applied to Rory. Sometimes I like to think how this dorm scene would have gone down if Rory stepped back for a second and went, "Hold on. You're not making any sense, chill out," and they could have talked a bit and had a similar reconciliation like I said above because I really think that’s all he was going for - to talk to her, apologize, and make an attempt at reciprocation like he did with Luke. But getting back together here? Canonically, he hasn't made enough progress. He set aside his personal feelings to be in his mother's wedding and used the knowledge from the self-help book to apologize to Luke, but I don't think the book's message has sunk in all the way yet and he’s still got a massive chip on his shoulder preventing him from making a good life for himself. Getting rejected by Rory here is an important moment and I really like it. It's fun to think about the AU if Rory had said yes (hello road trip!), but it's very in-character for her to not be able to handle Jess's crisis and just shouting "NO, make it stop." This is one of my proudest of Rory moments: Protect your heart girl, he ain't ready. The seeds have been planted that Jess will continue to grow and I wish him well on his journey. Endgame material? Nah. Goodbye forever, take care my friend...

Even though this scene doesn't feel like closure at all, I really thought this was the end of Jess Mariano. So imagine my surprise when -

SEASON 6: HE'S BACK. Coming out of the shadows, [literally] it's Jess Marianoooo *air horns* *confetti* *jazz hands* *Jess rolls his eyes at the fanfare*

Alright, that's out of my system. But for real that's what my mind did at this point. For context, the way I watched this show for the first time was getting the DVDs from the library while a couple of seasons were still on the air; when a new season was available to borrow, I would rewatch all the seasons up to the current point so my memories and favorite parts of the show are seasons 1-4. Because I was not bingeing the show all the way through, seeing Jess here seemingly so different didn’t feel out of place. A shock, yes! A happy surprise. But nothing about him seemed OOC. A year had gone by, we’d seen some signs of maturity in him, and getting rejected by Rory was a big kick in the ass for him to start making bigger changes in his life. I really cannot emphasize how satisfying and sensical his positive character development felt to me.

The slight maturity we see in season 4 in its full potential. Jess is still Jess: guarded, self-deprecating, and a bit prickly but he shows a sense of calm and feeling more comfortable in his skin. This is really satisfying to see as someone who always "knew" there was a kind and capable heart underneath the exterior just like Rory did, and that tough guy, must protect myself at all costs posturing has melted away. But that side of him isn't gone, it's not like the writing did a complete 180 on his character. I love this. He's just...more at peace with himself but he's not a different person, and he's found something to direct his focus and intellect on. He's made his peace with Luke, and now he has something of worth to show Rory to try to mend that hurt as well.

Yes, it would have been nice to see how and why he decided to write a book and work in publishing but this course of events is not out of left field, nor is Jess enough of a main character at this point for scenes like this to be necessary to the show unless they were tied to Luke and showing another side of him. Jess has shown in the past that he has a good work ethic if he feels it is worth it. The problem wasn't him being lazy, just poor decision making and focusing on RIGHT NOW, "I need to get out of Stars Hollow and live my life," and not considering the consequences of his actions. Which as an immature kid whose life had told him he can only depend on himself...not out of the ordinary. The dude’s life passion is literature and has probably read every book he can get his hands on, it’s not crazy that he had his own story in him.

Here is where Literati becomes endgame material for me. Prior to the revival it was always my feeling that post-series they would reconnect while Rory was on the campaign or afterwards. It would be low drama (except for Lorelai criticism), slowly gaining trust in each other again, and eventually starting a committed relationship within a year or two of being friends with sexual tension (lol). They made their adolescent mistakes, hurt each other, but learned from it and started over on infinitely better footing.

The match just makes sense to me at this point for many reasons; I don't feel like I need to list them all out because you can go to any pro-Literati post and I'll probably agree with the majority of the points. The biggest issue they had was timing: “Right heart, wrong time.” I like especially how they even out each other's more extreme personality traits. For example, Rory learning from Jess to consider her own feelings instead of sacrificing herself for others, and Jess considering others before himself all the time. Or professionally, I can see Jess encouraging her to step away from her ultra-organized, “everything has to be just so” ways when it benefits her to seize an opportunity right now, don’t worry about the details, you got this. Maybe Jess has another book in him, but his self-deprecation and disorganization prevent him from getting it done but Rory helps him be more objective and focused. There’s this…synergistic energy I feel with the two of them: they’re great by themselves, but form something better together.

Judging from Rory's reactions towards him in this season, I don't think it's OOC for her to have romantic feelings for him again. She's extremely proud of his accomplishments and not unhappy to see him (not holding a grudge). They fall back into their comfortable dynamic even if it makes them both a bit nervous. Now some could argue that this means that Rory only wants to be friends with him but...when have Jess and Rory ever been just friends? If "Another Year in the Life" comes out (I've got serious doubts but would love to be proved wrong) and Rory rejects him or he's not even a part of it, fine! But I just don't see anything in canon that says explicitly she'll never feel romantic towards him again.

Now the kiss...there's a lot of ways to read that scene. Do I think Jess was in the right to assume "everything is fixed" as a go ahead? No. But that's part of why he is such an engaging character: he's impulsive and acts in accordance to his feelings, and yes, this gets himself and others in trouble.

Do I think Rory purposefully went to the open house to "use" Jess to get back at Logan? No. I think she genuinely wanted to support him, and Logan being out of town meant she wouldn't have to explain why it was important for her to go. I see the kiss paralleling the one in 2x22 but instead of Rory not being able to hold her feelings in any longer, Jess initiates. The way I see it is she was unaware she still had lingering feelings towards him (not out of nowhere, I mean their relationship has "unfinished business" written all over it) and that scared the crap out of her, just like at the end of season 2. So she runs away to the "safe space" that is being with Logan. Because she's in love with Logan, she has a sense of obligation towards him, and Rory has shown many times that she does not react well to change and highly emotional situations.

Is this scene a deal breaker for a future relationship between them? I don't think so. Jess says that he isn't sorry she came, which I take as "I'll never be sorry to see you no matter the context." Yes, this hurt him and made him pretty mad, but I don't think he's holding a grudge against her for this; even in the moment he's more concerned that someone cheated on her and her safety getting to her car. He sets a boundary that he doesn't deserve his feelings to be pushed around like this and Rory agrees. Not that I condone this sort of tit-for-tat hurting of each other (which I don't think Rory was going for in the first place) but it's almost like...that cycle is now broken. The whole scene is so open ended, it doesn't feel like a "good bye forever" to Jess.

"But Rory is so in love with Logan!" I don't know about you, but that "I'm in love with him despite all the bad he's done..." sounds so defeated and sad. It's almost like she's resigned herself to being in love with Logan. The first time I watched this, I thought this was foreshadowing that the relationship was on its last legs. To keep them together, Logan almost dies so Rory will bury her hurt out of guilt for holding a grudge against him. She is completely entitled to feeling hurt by Logan's actions, and I hate that she feels like she has to do this. But it happened, moving on.

"But Rory is a cheater!" When I think about Rory's characteristics, "cheater" doesn't make the list. She feels entitled to the men that she's loved and this isn’t super great behavior, but I don't view her as inherently unfaithful or okay with cheating. I give her leeway on the season 2 Jess kiss because she was a teenager with a lot of conflicting emotions and everything around her was pushing her to stay with Dean. The season 4 Dean debacle...she was still very young and naïve. I put most of the blame on Dean for manipulating her; I say most because if Rory really wanted to be with him, she should have been more sure of the status of his marriage, but I repeat: he manipulated her and she was very young and naïve. I dare to say she has been conditioned to view Dean as nothing but safe and trustworthy so why wouldn't she believe him... Season 4 was all about her being out of sorts when away from the Stars Hollow bubble and trying to reclaim some normalcy. Narratively, I see why this makes sense and I don't think the intention was to say “Rory is okay with cheating,” but to show very explicitly that Rory isn't perfect. This show goes to extremes, at this point I kind of just accept it and don't jump to "this person/character is terrible!" Certain characteristics and behaviors I have less patience for (mild) or will make me lose all respect for a character (extreme - honestly very few GG characters fall into this category for me); you may feel differently and that's fine. When other plot points in this series are much more bizarre and OOC, while this turn of events makes me uncomfortable and angry, at least it makes sense to me.

The 6x18 kiss I've already said that I don't think Rory had premeditated intent to cheat on Logan judging from the fact that Jess initiated it; yes, she went with it nor was it a complete surprise, I get this. The "I couldn't even cheat on him..." line I think is an outburst of guilt and regret, not her saying she had a plan in mind. Maybe I'm being too soft on her, I don't know...she did stay there late but maybe she just got lost in the book while waiting to say bye. We've seen her not know how to deal with conflicting emotions and change to her status quo, and attempt to distract herself when life isn't panning out the way she wants and not think about the consequences in the moment, so I don't find this scene OOC or intentionally cruel. The revival...I don’t think I can even go there right now because it would just be me screaming incoherently about how much I hate "full circle" and how bizarre the entire thing was. Maybe something of value would eventually come out with a lot of editing. XD

This isn’t to say I’m 100% on Rory’s side all the time. Pretty much every character in this show has at some point made me smile, made me laugh (generally with them, but some characters it’s more like at), made me want to give them a hug, made me roll my eyes, and made me want to throw something at them. That’s why I love it so much! Even if the drama is turned up to 1000, I still get the sense that these characters are human. My favs end up on my “will protect at all costs” and “shit” lists throughout the series, no one is immune. Except Lane. She really is the best person in this entire show. #JusticeForLaneKim

If ASP had written season 7:��(Remember there being some sort of theme to this post? Only two episodes in s6, but Jess sure does make an impact.) I bet Jess would show up at some point. MV is loyal to the creators and not the show, if it was important for Jess to be there I’m sure his shooting schedule would have been accounted for. Storyline would have been similar to the revival because AYITL is ASPs season she didn’t get to do without considering how time passing affects the characters (I’M STILL SALTY) except Rory is at Yale and I think the book was a new idea. Shipping as endgame doesn’t change, and I bet there wouldn’t be a nice little Literati ending because we’ve got to end it the same way, right? I don't even need them to be together at the end because Rory has greater plans to focus on, but just a moment! One moment is all I asked for... I don’t know if this makes me mad because I felt like the narrative had been pushing us along this path for so long even if actual "endgame" was going to be offscreen or if I kind of like just having it in my imagination. Little bit of column A, little bit of column B. In any case, it could have been cool to see Jess present for the birth of his half-sister and giving Luke some support.

Like I said, I'm not touching AYITL right now. The whole starting point of this was, "huh, if MV never came back to the show, how would I feel about Jess and Literati?" And he was in it so it doesn't really fit into this even though we've gone on a meandering journey as pieces of discourse that have never sat right with me but didn't quite know how to express that disagreement until now popped in my mind. So there you go. If you’ve made it to end, claps to you, what a champ.

At the end of the day, Literati is the ship that makes me feel the most things, it's kind of just a gut thing. This really isn't any sort of argument just an outpouring of love for the show and these characters. I don't know how well that's communicated, but hey, I try. I’ve got a lot of nostalgia for the pairing and I always viewed Jess as being Rory’s, and only Rory’s, choice.

#Gilmore Girls #Literati #rory x jess #Jess Mariano #I've been writing and editing this for 2 weeks and just accidentally pressed post and uhhhh #I don’t think there's more you can do self #Just run with it

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taexual · 5 years ago

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i’d love you to stay but that’s simply insane // JJK (5)

jungkook is an uncontrollable lead vocalist of the campus band, and you’re a goal-oriented top student that’s known his rich and complicated family since childhood. you don’t want anything to do with each other, until each other is exactly what you want to do.

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre: college au

warnings: angst + soft joon cameo

words: 3.9k

chapter five

You tossed and turned for half the night and when you finally managed to fall asleep, your phone buzzed with a text message. Sticking your hand out from under the covers, you kept your eyes closed as you looked for your phone and debated throwing it against the wall so you could keep sleeping.

Driven by some sort of a pathetic hope – what if it was him – you opened your eyes after all, only to see that the text came from a student in your Sociology class, Namjoon. You were supposed to work on a project with him and he was wondering if you were free to meet him at the library today.

“It’s Saturday,” you texted back sleepily, thanking the God for autocorrect, “I don’t mind but don’t you have plans?”

You put your phone back down, hoping to get at least a few more minutes of sleep, but another text message came in almost instantly.

“Everyone will flock to the library on Monday and pick out the best books,” Namjoon said in his text, “so I’d like to get a head-start. Would 9 work for you?”

Nine in the morning – considering that it was eight right now – was absolutely not going to work for you because you were still half-asleep and weren’t motivated enough to have breakfast, shower, make yourself look presentable, and drag yourself across campus in an hour. But you didn’t want to be a nuisance, so you texted back, “sure! See you at 9” and sighed your way into the dorm bathroom.

Thankfully, everyone else seemed to be still asleep, so you got the whole place to yourself and could shower for as long as you liked, without fearing that someone was going to rip off the curtain, separating your naked body from the rest of the room – it was the sort of fear that didn’t go away in all of the three years that you’d lived here.

The shower did wake you up but, with waking up, came the memories of last night and the disappointment that Inna had brought home.

Truthfully, what hurt you the most wasn’t even the fact that Jungkook had presumably spent the night with some other girl but rather, the fact that he did so right after you decided not to purposefully sabotage your budding friendship with him and, instead, give it a chance to see what happened.

Well, you saw what happened and you didn’t like it one bit. So, on the other hand, maybe this was for the better. Clearly, there was still a lot of the old Jungkook – the one you knew and loved once upon a time – left in him, but there was also a part of him that you had never gotten to know – that was the part responsible for the end of your friendship seven years ago.

And, stepping out of the shower in your robe, you decided it’d be best to never get to know the foreign parts of him. Obviously, some of those feelings you’d had for him all of those years ago – actually, a lot of those feelings – had survived the long hiatus and were very much making a comeback – if they ever truly went away, that is – so it was best to quit before you got burned. Again.

And then, by a stroke of simply awful luck, you exited the communal bathroom only to see a familiar figure leave someone’s room down the hall. Being the only two people here, the two of you immediately took notice of each other, and you were starting to wish someone had ripped that shower curtain off so you could have died of embarrassment back there, instead of suffering through seeing Jungkook right here.

“Hi,” he said, just as surprised to see you here even though he walked you home yesterday and knew very well where you lived. “W-why are you up so early?”

“I have plans,” you said, your answer more curt than you’d intended. Being subtle would probably work better since you didn’t want him to know how hurt you were.

“Oh,” Jungkook said. He noticed that you didn’t ask why he was here which could only mean that you knew. “Can I walk you? I was on my way home anyway.”

“I’m not going out in a robe,” you said, “I still need to change.”

“Well, I can—I could wait,” he said, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans to hopefully stop them from clenching into fists. Your coldness was messing with him.

“No need,” you said, abandoning all hopes for subtlety, “I’m sure you’d rather get back to your—well, friend, I guess. She’s probably waiting for you inside.”

You wanted to walk past him into your own room – and would have done so, too, if you were only a little faster – but he was quick enough to get his hand out of his pocket and grab your wrist, stopping you.

“Are you jealous?” he asked and you began fuming at this—very observant and absolutely correct—accusation.

“What? I’m not jealous,” you lied loudly and proudly. “I just think it’s funny how you’re trying to get your life together one moment, and then go ahead and sleep around the next.”

He let go of your hand. “I—”

“If that’s your version of drinking responsibly,” you added with a scoff, “then I have to tell you, it’s not all that different from any other type of drinking you’d been doing since you started college.”

“Drinking—are you going to preach about absenteeism to me now?” he asked, suddenly focusing on the wrong thing. “That’s very closed-minded coming from someone like you. I thought you were—”

“I’m obviously not who you thought I were,” you cut him off again, even angrier now that he’d touched you – just like that time at the party last week – because, despite the circumstances, the softness of his skin felt outrageously nice.

“Okay, fuck!” he couldn’t help raising his voice. “I’m still trying to catch up on all that we’ve missed about each other.”

“Why?” you demanded. “Why does it matter?”

“Because we were friends once upon a time,” he quoted the words you’d said to him and you groaned as you recognized them.

“Once upon a time was a long time ago,” you said. “Maybe what’s in the past should stay in the past.”

Jungkook had gotten into physical fights more times than he could count and yet he’d never gotten punched just by someone’s words until now. It hurt and, frankly, he’d have preferred it if you’d socked him in the eye instead. At least that way you could both could see the damage done.

“Right. Well, in that case, it’s really none of your business how or how often I’m drinking,” he said, his hurt feelings coming out in chilly, stone-hard sentences and you’d already heard him tell you something like this before. You should have listened and hung up the phone as soon as he called to apologize about it.

“Hey,” you raised your hands in defense, “you’re the one who called me last night.”

“I was drunk,” he shot back, his voice as cold as yours had been, “I barely even remember it. Don’t think it means anything or gives you the permission to—”

Not realizing what excellent liars you both were when you were angry, you allowed yourself to listen to him until his words started to sting too much.

“Oh, don’t worry,” you said then, turning around to go back to your room. He didn’t try to stop you this time. “I never thought it meant anything.”

You were late to meet Namjoon at the library because, after having closed the door of your room, you didn’t dare to come back out into the hall even after you dressed up and got ready, in case Jungkook had lingered. But it all turned out to be just wishful thinking – he probably left as soon as you went inside – and there was no sign of him anywhere when you did finally come out.

Well, that was that. This time last week, you had been on your way to visit Jungkook at the hospital, and now your very unsuccessful attempt at reconnecting had ended.

You should have seen it coming, it’s been far too long. Pretending that it hasn’t and rebuilding your friendship on memories had, clearly, not worked.

“So sorry I’m late,” you announced to Namjoon when you finally reached the library, all out of breath and with a very poorly hidden bad mood.

“It’s alright,” Namjoon replied, showing you his cup of coffee, “I stopped by the café next-door, so I just got here myself,” he said and then realized, “oh! I didn’t get you anything, I’m sorry. I didn’t know what—”

“Oh, no, there’s no need,” you plopped down into a seat opposite him. “I had a quick cup before I left the dorm. Thanks for thinking of me, though.”

“Yeah, of course,” he nodded and, taking a sip of his beverage, gave you a look that he’d hoped appeared as nonchalant and not at all suspicious – even though it was – and, as soon as he placed his cup down on the table between you, he inquired somewhat awkwardly, “are you okay?”

You were busy taking your backpack off and putting it on a chair next to you, so his question took you off guard.

“Hmm?” you turned to give him a look. “I’m fine, why? Is it about being late? I was just—”

“No, no, it’s just that—well, nevermind. I thought you looked upset,” he said and then regretted ever bringing it up. His perception had gotten him labeled as creepy several times before. “Sorry if that’s out of line for me to say.”

“No, it’s, uh—” you looked down, unsure if pouring your heart out to someone who was virtually a stranger to you was such a great idea since you obviously sucked at making – or, well, remaking – friends. “I am somewhat upset, I guess. I got into a fight with—with a friend before I left. But I promise it won’t interfere with my work!”

“Ah. Sorry to hear that,” Namjoon said and he sounded genuine, which was nice, considering he didn’t have to try so hard for someone who was just his partner for a Sociology project.

“Yeah,” you spoke and allowed the quiet atmosphere of the library on this early Saturday morning to engulf you both before finally saying, “anyway. Do you have the literature list, perhaps? I seem to have misplaced mine.”

“I have it on my phone,” he said and, in an attempt to sit up straight and pull his phone out from his back pocket at the same time, he spilled some of his drink on the table. “Oh, shit, uh—sorry about that.”

“It’s fine,” you told him, reacting immediately and reaching for a pack of tissues you always carried in the outer pocket of your backpack. You extended it for him. “Here.”

“Thank you,” he took one out and wiped his own hand first before cleaning the drink off the table.

“Is your hand okay?” you asked. “The coffee seems to be hot.”

“It’ll be fine,” he said with an awkward laugh. He’d already showcased enough of his inability to function as a normal human, he didn’t want you to have to deal with the stinging pain of his palm, too. “So, anyway, as I was saying, I have the list on my phone. I can send it to you and then we can split up to find the books faster.”

“Okay. That sounds great!”

And it really was great because, aside from being somewhat clumsy – he spilled his coffee again when he was pushing his chair back to get up from his seat and then dropped his phone as he was attempting to clean the new puddle – Namjoon was also an honest, dedicated worker and you appreciated that. You’d already had to work on many projects with peers who were more than happy to let you do all the work.

“I love the library at a time like this,” Namjoon told you from the other side of the book shelf as you two began to freely roam the near-empty library, browsing for books. “Not crowded with people, I mean.”

“Yeah, I love it, too,” you agreed. “But I don’t get to see it often, to be honest. I’m one to jump on the bandwagon and come here when everyone else comes.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, usually, I’m like that, too. But I started coming on weekends recently. It’s blissfully empty here, especially in the morning.”

“Everyone’s probably hungover,” you observed. “Parental Advisory had one of their usual ragers last night.”

“Ah, yes,” Namjoon nodded and then, somehow hesitantly, asked, “why weren’t you there?”

He made it sound as though you were supposed to be there and, for a minute, you wondered if your very few public conversations with Jungkook ended up bringing more attention to you and him than you’d realized.

“I—well, I don’t really go to those things,” you admitted, “it’s not really for me. I was home, binging on TV shows instead.”

He laughed – not mockingly but rather, understandably. Like he could relate.

“That’s my usual weekend, too,” he said then, confirming your thoughts and you gave him a smile through the gap between the books on the shelves. “I’ve been catching up on the movies I’ve missed during mid-terms.”

“Oh?” you picked one book up to check the edition and then put it back after realizing it wasn’t the right one. “Did you watch anything last night?”

“I tried to give the Kristen Stewart movie a shot,” he replied, dragging his finger on the spines of the books as he looked for the one he needed. “But it didn’t do it for me.”

“Underwater?” you asked. You had dragged Inna to see this movie in the theater with you. “I didn’t like that one, either. Even though Kristen Stewart was, predictably, great.”

“Oh, you’ve seen it, too?” he seemed surprised as he stopped and glanced at you over the shelves.

“Yeah, horror movies are much more my thing than campus parties,” you said.

“Really?” now he was properly intrigued. “Mine, too.”

You stopped browsing as well and your eyes met even if your bodies were separated by shelves of books. Not wanting to make this awkward, Namjoon didn’t let his gaze linger for too long before he looked back at his phone and continued his search for books.

“What would you say were your Top 3 horror movies of the last few years?” he asked, not just to keep the conversation going, but also because he was genuinely curious. He hadn’t met a lot of other people who were into horror.

“Only three?” you put your hands on your hips, deep in thought. “Okay. I’d choose Get Out, Us… and Midsommar.”

Namjoon wrinkled his nose at this. “Midsommar? Really?”

“Yeah,” you looked at him in confusion. “Why? It was good!”

“Well, it wasn’t bad,” he said, “but it just… I don’t know, it didn’t have enough horror elements for me. You do have good taste, though. Get Out is definitely one of the few late-decade films worthy of its’ horror genre.”

You couldn’t deny that but felt like you had an addition, “I actually quite liked Hereditary, too. It was different from what I usually watch.”

“Is that the one with the actress from The Sixth Sense?” he asked as he pulled a book from the shelf nearby to check the cover.

He was truly proving to be a project partner sent from heavens as you squealed, forgetting the library rules for a minute, “Toni Collette! Yes!”

He turned around, surprised by your excited tone.

“You liked The Sixth Sense?” he asked with a laugh, then.

“Loved it,” you said, still overwhelmed by the realization that you two seemed to share the same taste in movies. “It’s one of the best movies out there, in my opinion.”

“I think it might just be,” he agreed. “I’ve never seen Hereditary, though.”

You stopped walking and turned to him with wide eyes. “No. Are you serious? It’s terrible! I mean, terrible as in, I had to look away from the screen several times and I’m not one that gets fidgety during horror movies. That really proves how good it is.”

“Ah, yes, as the rating for horror movies goes – boring, decent, bad, terrible,” he counted with his fingers as you both laughed. “No, I don’t know, I just somehow never got around to watch it.”

“I have it on my computer,” you found yourself saying, “if we wrap this project up quickly enough, we could watch it. If you’d like.”

“I’d love that,” he said, smiling, and then stopped himself, “although, I don’t think the library allows that sort of activity here.”

“Oh. No, I guess not,” you thought about it for a moment and then came up with a plan, “well, are you free on Monday? We could work on the project at my dorm and watch the movie then. My roommate has classes in the afternoon, so it’ll be quiet.”

You hadn’t even realized that you were inviting a guy you’d almost literally just met over to your room and neither had Namjoon as he considered your offer – trying to remember his own schedule for Monday – and then nodded.

Truthfully, he didn’t even consider that there could have been some concealed intentions behind your invitation – he genuinely wanted to watch this movie with you since it seemed to have left an impression on you.

“Okay, yeah,” he said finally. “Monday sounds good. I’ll bring my books.”

“Great!” you’d have clapped your hands together if you weren’t holding three books and your phone. “I’ll bring the movie.”

Shortly, the two of you had finished your search for the books for the project and Namjoon excused himself – apparently, his drunk roommate had lost his keys and couldn’t get home – agreeing to meet you at your dorm on Monday.

You didn’t even realize it until you sat down by the table to put the books into your backpack but discussing your favorite movies with Namjoon had helped you forget all about your fight with Jungkook. Smiling solemnly to yourself, you concluded that you were actually feeling surprisingly well right now in comparison to how disheveled you’d been when you first arrived here.

Deciding that it was your choice how to feel about your second falling-out with Jungkook, you chose to move past it with surprising swiftness. If a good conversation was what it would take for you to forget about him, then you were just going to have to find more interesting people to talk to. Inna, once she sobered up, would work perfectly.

You’d have probably succeeded at this plan if it weren’t for the two girls that just arrived to the library, sunglasses and paper cups of coffee in hand. You merely glanced at them, choosing not to say hi even though you thought you’d seen them around the dormitory, as they sat down a few seats away from you.

“Okay, listen, why does it matter that he left early?” one of them was saying as you pulled the zipper of your backpack, opening it up. “Everyone still knows that you went home with Jungkook last night.”

That’s when you froze, focusing all of your energy into not turning around to look at them again.

One of these girls was the girl whose room Jungkook had left this morning.

“Yeah, but so what?” she replied to her friend. You knew you had to keep putting the books into your backpack or else you’d look weird just sitting here, obviously listening. But moving with minimal noise, so you’d still be able to hear them, was difficult. “Nothing happened between us.”

“I mean, not nothing,” her friend countered and then hesitated, “you did kiss, right?”

“Yeah, but—I don’t know. We kind of did,” her friend said and you found yourself drowning in waves of hotness. You decided you should probably go if you wanted to still have a chance at the swift-moving-on you’d planned. “But it was really more me, kissing him. He didn’t even—he was just there, you know what I mean?”

“Was he drunk?”

“No—well, yeah, we both were,” she giggled. You mentally gagged as you hurriedly stuffed the books into your bag. “But he was sober enough to recognize where I lived.”

“He knew where you lived? Girl, that’s good!” her friend clapped her hands together.

“No, but he didn’t, he just—he knew someone in the building,” she said. You sat up straight suddenly and the two girls stopped talking. Trying to play it cool, you coughed nervously and pushed your chair back, standing up. They carried on, “anyway, I think he just went with me because he wanted to visit that friend who lived there. But he tripped over the door on our way in, and I said that maybe we should stop at my place first, I could get him a drink or something. He said, ‘yeah,’ so we went and… he fell asleep basically as soon as he entered my room.”

“What? Seriously?” her friend asked as you zipped up your bag.

“Yeah,” the girl said. “I sat him down on my bed, left to pick up some snacks from the mini-fridge, and when I came back, he was full-on snoring.”

“Shit. Maybe he’s sick or something.”

The girl wasn’t so sure. “Or maybe he’s just not into me.”

Choosing not to listen anymore or else they’d have to notice you loitering, you picked up your backpack and headed for the exit. Your mind was buzzing and even the walk across campus to your dormitory didn’t help make it stop.

Apparently, Jungkook hadn’t slept with the girl that brought him home – he just let you assume he had. Not that you’d given him a chance to deny it, to be fair, accusing him of sleeping around one second and drinking himself blind the next.

It was clear that you’d overreacted and, in a moment of weakness, you considered calling him to apologize. But then you stopped and reconsidered – he’d told you it wasn’t your business to worry about his drinking. He’d told you his late-night phone call meant nothing and that he could barely even remember it.

So, maybe the argument in the hallway meant nothing to him, too. Maybe you were the only one still thinking about it while Jungkook was already off, doing whatever he did Saturday mornings because, God knew, moving on came easy to him.

Deciding that it was time you listened to him when he told you not to get involved in his decisions, you exhaled shakily and put your phone back in your pocket.

There was no point to apologize to him about anything.

It was over.

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rahleeyah · 3 years ago

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hello! your anon here. through trials and tribulations, i return. (real life has been shit.) and so i indulge instead in a thought experiment/alternate universe:

how fundamentally different olivia would be if she had been raised by her father, but he was still a rapist. she still finds out too young, but its not because her mother cannot fully forgive her the sin of being born, but because he gets arrested.

she is still alone, without a family. still struggles to reckon with the truth of who her father is, still feels the need to atone for it.

but serena also played such a key role in olivia's life, for the little we hear of her, what we know cuts deep. would she still find her way to svu? i think yes, because there's no olivia without svu, really. not in that its all she is, but in that there would be a fundamental piece of her missing if she weren't in that unit, something inside her soulwould still be lost for not being that kind of advocate. it's who she is.

but how would her outlook on the suspects be different? especially at the beginning?

i rewatched the early seasons not too long ago, and olivia was harsh, elliot had to coach her through some of the necessary sympathy/compassion. not that it wasnt there, but that it wasnt soft, the way it needed to be in certain interactions.

how different would her perspective be?

because part of the journey her character goes on (particularly in season 8) is dealing with the fact that she knew her father was terrible but still wanted him - or, at least, wanted a father who wanted her.

what would her life have been like if she'd had that, but still had a rapist for a father?

I am so sorry things have been rough for you anon I hope this week is better!!!

I'm gonna try to break this down bc oooof this is good and I have. Many thoughts.

If Olivia grew up with a father, and the truth is revealed when she's young? Oh man I gotta sit down.

Ok so first of all I imagining, then, that under this scenario maybe Serena didn’t know what he was, and Liv spends the first few years of her life happy. She remembers what if felt like to be happy, to have two parents and a warm home, and then to have it all ripped away from her. To learn that love exists but it does not stay - at least not for her. To remember a time when her mother wasn’t bitter and angry, and resent the loss of it. To war with herself, bc she loves the father she remembers and hates the man he turns out to be. I think she would be even less trusting, under these circumstances. Even harder.

Which brings us to the next point - how different Liv would be when she first arrives at SVU and anon, my goodness, I could just kiss you on the mouth, bc I posted this back in July when I was rewatching s2:

YOU ARE SO RIGHT ANON Liv is initially hard, and Elliot does have to coach her god that is such a perfect way to phrase it. I think if we combine the hardness and the black and white view points she had in early seasons with this backstory, we get a character who looks even more like Amanda Rollins, tbh. More defensive of herself, even less trusting, and angry, bc she had a taste of happiness and then had it stolen from her.

And what if, then, the s8 arc - Liv finding out who her father is, struggling with wanting to know him and feeling like maybe she shouldn’t, wishing she had a father who’d loved her but knowing that only father she had was the man who broke her mother and trying to reconcile those two things - was replaced with Liv’s father trying to reconnect. How would she process that? Wanting, so badly, to reclaim the happiness and the love that she knew in her childhood, knowing that not only is this man her blood but that they did have a relationship, once, wanting to hate him for what he did, for the women he hurt, for the way it destroyed their family, wanting to hate him bc he’s no better than the perps she puts away every day, but he’s her father. And does she see her father’s face echoed in every man she arrests? Does that make her hate them more, or does it make her hate herself bc she can’t dehumanize them, can’t make them all into monsters, bc if they’re monsters so is the father she loved and maybe so is she?

This is heavy and it is good god bless you anon 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

#anonymous #my anon #tw: rape

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originalhybridloverfics · 3 years ago

Text

Don't Give Up Now Ch5

A/N: With how busy both my work schedule and writing schedule is some of my chapters will be shorter than others but I figured an update is better than nothing.

Anyway, on with the story. Thanks to everyone still reading.

Serkan was usually happy to see his mother but this was not one of those times.

He was more annoyed with her than he could ever remember being and it wasn’t petty annoyance either.

No, he was in the middle of a crucial moment with Eda and felt like they were reconnecting.

Now that moment was gone and he had nothing to show for it as Eda pulled away from him.

His annoyance climbed higher. Why couldn’t his mother have stayed in Instanbul?

He came here to be with Eda. He wanted to create new moments with her before it was too late.

Eda stared at Aydan, thrown by her arrival.

If Serkan was here for business why was Aydan here? Since when did she accompany him on his business trips?

There was something off about her unexpected arrival.

Aydan rushed up the steps throwing her arms around her son. “Serkan! I’ve been so worried. I couldn’t reach you.”

Serkan gently pulled his mother off him. “Mom.”

“Then I went to Art Life and was told you went to Italy.” Aydan continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “Serkan, you shouldn’t be traveling. You need your rest.” Aydan swept her hands over him. “How are you feel-”

“Enough, mom, I’m fine.” Serkan cut off her words. “I came here to work.”

“Work? Serkan in your condition-”

“My condition is fine.” He cut her off again, looking over at Seyfi. “Call Layla, she will let you know where we are staying. Eda and I need to get back to work.”

Eda had watched the exchange and her instincts were going off. Work was the last thing on her mind.

Something was wrong here.

The way Aydan was fussing over Serkan was more than Eda was accustomed to.

Just what in the world was going on here?

“Eda,” Aydan turned to her. “Life appears to have been good to you.”

“I like to think so,” Eda replied. “You’re looking well.” she turned to Seyfi. “It’s good to see you, Seyfi.”

Seyfi beamed. “You too, Ms. Eda.”

“Did you really come all the way to Italy in search of Serkan because you couldn’t reach him?” Eda inquired. “Must’ve been urgent.”

“Of course, every day he has less time be-”

“Because of my busy work schedule.” Serkan cut his mother off, sending her a sharp look.

Aydan stared at her son, a wet sheen to her eyes.

Seyfi shifting nervously on his feet, pressed a comforting hand to Aydan’s shoulder.

Eda stared between them the nagging feeling that there was something she didn’t know. Something Serkan didn’t want her to know and it made her stomach churned violently.

A stark reminder of why she and Serkan didn’t work out in the first place. He couldn’t be honest, preferring to hold things back from her rather than share them with her so they could face it together.

“Yes,” Aydan swallowed. “I understand you have a busy schedule but I was hoping you would have some time for me,”

Serkan fought down his irritation. “We have time later, right now it is important that I focus on work.”

“Serkan, work, it’s not going to matter in the larger scheme of things. You should be enjoying-”

“I do enjoy work.” Serkan shot his mother a warning look. “Which you are interrupting.”

Eda looked in between Serkan and Aydan. The exchange between them feeling off to her. S

She had the thought again that something was going on here.

Something that had Aydan and Serkan in an obvious disagreement that Serkan was doing his hardest to keep from coming to light.

She didn’t know what it was but maybe it was the same thing that brought him here to Italy. To her.

Whatever it was, she was going to find out.

It was about time Serkan Bolat realized there was nothing he could keep from her without her eventually finding out about it.

Serkan painted on a smile, turning to Eda. “Excuse us a moment.”

Serkan took his mother by the arm, leading her back down the steps, barking orders for Seyfi to follow.

He led them away from Eda toward the front doors. “You need to go. Now.”

“Serkan, I came all the way here for you.” Aydan protested.

“I didn’t ask you to,” Serkan spoke through clenched teeth.

Aydan swallowed down her hurt and looked away from him.

Serkan sighed, rolling his eyes heavenward realizing he was being too harsh given the circumstances.

“I understand you’re concerned but I am working hard in mending fences and reconnecting with Eda. I don’t need to be interrupted. It’s better when we are alone.”

“Are you going to tell her?” Seyfi wondered, wringing his hands.

“No,” Serkan's eyes were sharp. “It’s better she doesn’t know.”

“Serkan, she deserves to know.” Aydan protested.

“I won’t have her pity. If Eda and I are to reconcile she can’t know the truth. I don’t want it to influence her decisions.” Serkan ground out.

“You are not being reasonable or fair to Eda, you can’t enter her life and not tell her-” His mother began.

“We will talk about this later.” Serkan cut her off not wanting to risk Eda overhearing them. “You are going to head back to the hotel. Layla will send you directions to where I am staying. I will meet with you later when we can talk freely. Understood?”

Aydan wanted to argue, she wanted to insist but the look on her son’s face told her he would not listen. He was determined to keep his secrets from Eda and Aydan couldn’t help but think he was making a mistake. She couldn’t fight him on it without pushing him away and she didn’t want any more distance between her son and herself.

“Okay,” She agreed and turned to leave, calling for Seyfi to follow.

As soon as they were gone Serkan returned to Eda who was waiting for him.

“Did Ms. Aydan leave without saying goodbye?” She asked.

“She had some shopping she wanted to get done. She just came to insist I have dinner with her.” Serkan answered.

Eda nodded as she walked back down the stairs. She had a feeling, he wasn’t being honest but for now, she wasn’t going to push. “What brings your mother to Italy?”

“Shopping,” Serkan answered.

“Shopping?” Eda sent him a doubtful look. “She could shop online.”

Serkan forced a smile. “You know how extra my mother can be.”

Eda stared at him a moment before looking away. “Let’s look outside.”

“Ok,” Serkan led her out with a hand on her lower back.

“Did everyone you know follow you to Italy?” Eda asked as they walked through the garden.

It hurt her heart to see the flowers here was dying from lack of care but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t fix and add to.

“It appears so but no,” Serkan answered. “Work is like this, however. It takes a team to accomplish great things.”

Eda stopped walking and turned to him. “Are they here for work?”

Serkan stopped. “I don’t understand.”

“What isn’t there to understand.” Eda insisted. “Are they here for work or in relation to you because my instincts are telling me something is going on that I am not aware of?”

“There’s nothing.” Serkan lied. “Work is why everyone is here and my mother is just being overbearing.”

“Okay,” Eda said, she didn’t believe him for a second but she wouldn’t push. He would let his guard down more if it seemed she was not looking for information that he didn’t want her to know. “How about we get back to work.”

“I was hoping to get back to what we were doing before my mother’s untimely interruption.” he lifted his hand and brushed her hair back from her face, his thumb lingering on her cheek.

“Serkan,” Eda step back, causing his hand to fall away. “We got caught up in the moment. It can’t happen again.”

Serkan wanted to argue, wanted to push her to be honest about what she felt, what she wanted but didn’t. It wasn’t right to push her when she was setting boundaries and he had to respect that no matter how much it pained him to be near her and not be with her. “If that is what you want.”

“It is,” Eda said, hoping she sounded more sure than she was.

“Okay,” Serkan nodded. “Tell me your thoughts for the garden.”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Eda looked out at the passing roads, the wind blowing through her hair.

It had been a long day spent with Serkan and it was difficult but it was also enjoyable. It was so easy to fall back into the patterns in the past and enjoy his company, feeding off each other’s creativity but it was hard to ignore the attraction, the chemistry between them.

She turned her head and looked at him, the way his hands wrapped around the steering wheel, his jacket tossed to the back seat and the sleeves of his shirt rolled up past his forearms.

“Shall we listened to some music,” Serkan asked her.

“Yes, let's.” Eda reached forward, turning it to the station and allowing the music to wash over her. It was better than the silence that had settled over them heavily with a weight she couldn’t define.

“Do you enjoy working for Efe?” Serkan asked suddenly.

“Are you really asking me about Efe?” Eda asked in surprise. “I know you don’t like him.”

“I’m asking about you,” Serkan answered. Plus, he wanted to know the extent of her relationship with the man who once sabotaged his career.

Eda thought of his question her mind flashing back to Efe trying to interfere in her personal life where Serkan was concerned and felt a wave of irritation with her boss. “It has been educational.”

“More education than when you worked with me?” Serkan asked.

Eda tilted her head at him. “Do you realize how you phrase my relation to Efe and my relation to you differently?”

Serkan chanced a look at her then back at the road. “I don’t understand.”

“You say I work for Efe but refer to my time with Art Life as working with you, not for you.” Eda clarified.

“I never saw you as my employee. You were always more.”

Eda bit down on her lip and really wished Serlkan’s words weren’t so charming. He made it hard for her to maintain her distance.

How the hell was she supposed to not fall in love with him again while trying to find out why he was here?

“Working with Efe is educational in different ways than working at Art Life.” Eda finally answered.

“Different how?”

“For one, his employees aren’t terrified of him.” Eda sent a pointed look in his direction.

Serkan rolled his eyes. “Not everyone at Art Life is afraid of me.”

“Most are,” Eda insisted and Serkan nodded in agreement. After all, she wasn’t exactly wrong.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Eda wanting to remain platonic and professional after the unexpected kiss threw herself into the work for the rest of the day.

When she wasn’t working with Serkan, she was in her office working on other projects.

It was late when Eda left the office, she was surprised to see Serkan in Efe’s office through the glass. They looked to be in a heated discussion.

Her brow furrowed, she had thought Serkan had left earlier with the rest of the Art Life employees.

She step forward, her heels clicking on the floor. She was grateful that neither man seem to have noticed.

She leaned against the door and pressed her ear against it.

While their voices sounded heated and angry, she couldn’t make out their words.

There was her name, and selfishness, and give up, and regret but everything else she couldn’t make out.

It was all so confusing, she pressed harder against the door, hoping to hear better.

She stumbled forward as the door was wrenched open and if it wasn’t for the chest she collided into, she would have went crashing to the floor.

Hands gripped her waist tightly, her eyes on the broad chest in front of her.

She knew who it was before she straightened and looked up, his smell intoxicating her as she breathed him in. “Serkan!”

“Eda, are you alright?” The anger in his green eyes faded, turning into concern.

“Yes,” she stepped back and his hands fell away. She flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I am fine, thank you. I was getting ready to call a taxi home when I heard voices.”

“I can take you,” Efe interjected. “I have some things I wish to discuss with you.” He stepped forward next to Serkan. “Privately.”

Serkan bristled. “What could you possibly have to talk about in private?”

Efe cut his eyes at him. “Business.”

“If it’s the same thing as we discussed earlier, forget it. The topic is closed. And we will not be reopening it.” Eda said. She did not need Efe thinking he can but into her relationship or lack of one with Serkan.

“Eda, I am only trying to-”

“Well, stop trying,” Eda cut him off. “I won’t speak more on the matter and neither will you.”

“I’ll take you home,” Serkan interjected and placed his hand on her lower back ushering her forward and away from Efe.

Eda allowed it, she didn’t want to get in another argument with Efe.

She was quiet as they were on the road. Serkan looked over at her. “Do you want to go grab some dinner?

“No, It’s been a long day. I really just want to rest.” Eda answered, over at him with a barey there smile.

Serkan frowned in concerned. “Okay.”

“Plus, you having dinner with your mom,” Eda added.

When Serkan stopped at the red light he reached over turning on the radio to her favorite station.

Eda turned to look at him. Smiling softly at the gesture.

The light turned green and Serkan started the car forward again. Smiling softly as Eda started to sway slowly in her seat to the soft music.

When they arrived at her home it was too soon for him. He wanted to extend their time together but he felt like if pushed Eda would pull away and it was the last thing he wanted.

“Eda,” he said when her hand was on the handle of the car.

“Yes,” Eda looked at him expectantly.

“Thank you for taking the time to work with me. I know this isn’t easy for you.”

Eda nodded. “Good night, Serkan Bolat.”

“Good night, Eda Yildiz.” He smiled. “See you, tomorrow.”

Eda looked at him for a moment and then finally she said. “Yes you will when you come and pick me up tomorrow to take me to the office.”

Serkan watched her go inside, a smile pulling at his lips. He hadn’t been expecting that.

Eda pushed her front door shut behind her and leaned against it with a sigh.

She didn’t know how she was going to work with Serkan every day and not get caught up in her own goal of finding out why he was there but it was too late to turn back now.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Serkan walked into his home he had bought, Engin and Piril were staying in his quest room and Leyla was staying at the closes hotel. She had already returned when he arrived home.

Walking into his home he saw that his mother had made herself and Seyfi comfortable.

They were seated at a table having tea and dessert that Seyfi had prepared.

“Serkan!” Aydan stood and moved to hug him.

Serkan accepted his mother’s embrace before pulling back and motioning for her to retake her seat and then took the one next to her.

“What are you doing here?” Serkan asked, his mother.

“Serkan, you left and you didn’t even tell me,” Aydan said. “I want to spend as much time with you as I can. You refuse to fight this disease, this illness, I have to accept that you are going to be gone one day. Soon. I hate it and I know I can’t change your mind but what I can do is hold onto right now for as long as I can. Don’t ask me to leave Serkan.” tears filled Aydan’s eyes. “I want to be by your side.”

Serkan swallowed heavily. He hated her tears evem more so when they were for him. “Okay.”

Aydan nodded, brushing the tears away from her eyes she looked at her son. “Did you really come here for work or was this just your way of contacting Eda?”

Serkan was silent as he looked at her but his fingers twisted the band on his hand and it was answer enough.

“Serkan, you know it’s unfair to get close to Eda and not tell her what is happening to you.”

“I don’t want her pity. I don’t want anyone’s pity.” Serkan insisted. “Yes, I came here to spend the remainder of my life in her presence but I will not tell her about my health.”

“Serkan-”

“No,” Serkan’s voice was sharp. “I want Eda to be a part of my life not because she feels obligated because I’m dying but because she wants to be there with me.” Serkan looked away his jaw clenching.

“I understand your reasoning, Serkan, I do but what about Eda?” Aydan asked.

Serkan looked back at her confused. “What do you mean?”

“Serkan, Eda, loved you once. Whose to say she won’t fall in love with you again. Have you thought about how losing you is going to affect her? She’s going to be devastated when your gone and wondering why you couldn’t tell her the truth.”

Serkan was quiet, truth be told he hadn’t allowed himself to think about that because he knew he wouldn’t like the answers.

Was he being selfish? Yes.

Still, he couldn't bring himself to turn back now. Seeing Eda, breathing the same air as her, kissing her. It was all he wanted. He could die a happy man as long as his hand was in hers.

She enriched his life every second he spent with her and it was enough for him.

However, he felt if he told her the truth none of it would be real. It would be pity and that was the last thing he wanted from the love of his life.

“Eda, will not find out. Not from me and not from you. You want to stay then fine stay but do not interfere with Eda and I.” WIth those parting words Serkan stood, heading for his room. Sirius following close behind him.

When Serkan turned in that night, it was to the picture of their fake engagement clutched to his chest, dreams of the life he wanted with Eda but will never have, flickering behind his closed lids.

Sometimes dreams were better than reality.

#sen cal kapimi #fanfic #serkan x eda #eda yildiz #serkan bolat #edser #edser fic #fic: don't give up now

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divinaes-bookofsecrets · 4 years ago

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can i get a spirit guide reading too? ): ive been dying to find my own..♎

Hi 👋 hello there pleased to meet you ♎

×JaxDessa×IS YOUR SPIRIT GUIDE CURRENTLY🐠🌏🐚

She is female inter-terrestrial Female-Sea Creature who visits middle Earth and thats about as close as she gets to you personal space other than being able to e a essence that communicates or manipulates your current or future circumstances.

As an etheric being, Mermaid is “out of time” even as magic. She can teach you to walk through different worlds safely. There are spaces and places where all time swirls together, opening infinite possibilities.

If Mermaid Spirit had a mantra, it would be “go with the flow.” Give yourself to the ebb and flow of Mermaid’s ties. This provides you with adaptability akin to how water takes on the shape of its container.

Lightworkers, such as myself, 🌐🐚🐠 believe that Mermaids may have come originally from Atlantis as shapeshifters. Afterward, they moved into the Etheric realm; this is the place wherein we can connect with them and learn their wisdom. Mermaid Medicine supports environmental health and the kingdom of the sea. If you are doing workings for the Earth, they are excellent helpmates.

Like the creature of myths, Mermaid Totems are drawn to water. The ocean, in particular, has healing and energizing qualities to it. The Mermaid Mage often works exclusively with the Water Element; and Jaxdessa is no different she happens to be an elite member of the aquatic Water Mystics in her colony in the ethereal realm of existence....

This Mer-Woman has been with you since your birth and will likely be with you until the END of time; but first let's dive fins deep into her bio and see what she's in your life for?

🦋🌏🦋Being female, the symbolism and meaning of the Mermaid ties to the Sacred Feminine, specifically Goddesses like Venus who rules love, and the Sea Goddesses like Calypso. This is not a woman who can be tamed. The fierce individuality among Mermaids is well known – so much so that they may resist settling down in any one spot. Here Mermaid Spirit appears linked heavily to uniqueness and non-conformity.

Are you looking for a way to express yourself? Trying to find clarity in love matters? Mermaid as a Spirit, Totem, and Power Animal can help! Mermaid teaches to find balance between the heart and mind! Delve deeply in Mermaid symbolism and meaning to find out how this animal spirit guide can aid, inspire, and balance you!

Mermaid Symbolism & Meaning

The myths of Mermaids (and mermen) are enchanting. The rich voice of the Mermaid calls out to us with symbolism and meaning that clarifies the role this Fantasy Spirit Guide plays in our lives. Many stories of the Mermaid tell of enticing beauty, raw sensuality, and humans who succumb to their haunting songs; in this, we see where Mermaid becomes an emblem of balancing our heart and head. We need to think clearly even in matters of love and lust. Additionally, there are times in our lives where its ok to dance to a different, magical tune. Individuality and non-conformity are definitely traits of the Mermaid.

Mermaid Omens: Mermaids seem to be fairly lucky in that, if in a generous mind, they might grant a wish. Having said that, sailors consider them a foreboding sign that the proverbial ship may never reach land again.

Etymology: Mermaid comes from the 14th century term mermayde, meaning Maid of the Sea. The Old English word was similar – merwif, or Water Witch.

Being female, the symbolism and meaning of the Mermaid ties to the Sacred Feminine, specifically Goddesses like Venus who rules love, and the Sea Goddesses like Calypso. This is not a woman who can be tamed. The fierce individuality among Mermaids is well known – so much so that they may resist settling down in any one spot. Here Mermaid Spirit appears linked heavily to uniqueness and non-conformity.

Reach out to Mermaid as a Power Animal any time you work with the element of water in ritual, meditations or magic. There are other goals for which Mermaid can help. When you need inspiration, particularly in song, she can release your self-consciousness, so you really sing from your heart. Regarding sexuality, she removes inhibitions that hold you back from true pleasure.

Mermaid represents transition and transmutation. When you face unique changes in your life, she can help steady the waters around you.

Finally, call to Mermaid when you struggle with your emotions or when your intuition seems to have dried up. Mermaid medicine heals broken hearts and discouragement, then goes on supporting your intuitive self so you can avoid the chaos.

Mermaid as a Celtic Animal Symbol

Celtic Tradition has a long-standing relationship with magical water creatures. Sprites and nymphs often lived nearby sacred falls and wells. The Mermaid, however, lives in the sea. In this culture, the symbolism and meaning of Mermaid is that of the feminine element of the Universe. It is powerful and mysterious. The image of the double-tailed Mermaid adorns many churches represents the ultimate Celtic goddess, Sheela-Na-Gig.

Native American Mermaid Symbolic Meanings

One story from the Mi’kmaq tribe tells of a bird who discovers a pond with five lovely women therein. He noted that they didn’t really look totally human, having silvery scaled skin and hair of seaweed. They adorned themselves with gifts of the sea, and the bottom half of their body was that of a fish.

The Passamaquoddy tales recount the story of how two girls became Mermaids (HeNwas). They went swimming in an area prohibited by their parents. They came to a spot where they were surrounded in slime. Their legs became snakes, their hair black and wearing silver bands on their arms and neck.

Sekani legend talks of the marriage between a human and a Mermaid. By the first winter, the Mermaid yearned for her ocean home. She begged for freedom. It wasn’t until the second winter, however, that the man complied so she could hunt for him. Each day she returned dutifully with food. They became happy and had seven children. After the last child, winter returned, and the man sadly broke a hole in the ice so she could return. When she began swimming, she realized her children could not follow her. She tried to work a spell, placing water on their lips and telling them to follow her. Sadly they drown and were never seen again.

Mermaid Dreams

Mermaids in dreams almost always represent femininity with all its lovely attributes. These dreams often reveal clues to your feminine side. This can be a happy omen unless you fear the emotions and insights Mermaid brings.

A Mermaid swimming in water may represent a girth of emotions that threaten to overwhelm. You feel as if you are going under and giving in to the pressures around. Find your life vest and get some help and support.

Far Eastern Mermaid Symbolic Meanings

There are numerous stories of Mermaids in China. Literature depicts her as similar to western Mermaids with the ability to cry pearls, shapeshift, foretell the future and craft magical items.

One story tells of a Mermaid who asked to stay with a human family for many days so she could weave and sell her cloth. In thanks for the human’s hospitality, she cried a container full of pearls and gave it to the family.

Mermaid Symbolic Meanings Key

Adaptability

Awareness

Discretion

Divination

Emotions

Innocence

Non-conformity

Psychic Aptitude

Shapeshifting

Uniqueness

Artists frequently depict Mermaids with a fish bone comb; this illustration came about due to sailors’ beliefs. If you had fish bones on board a ship, one could know what type of weather was coming through divination and take control of a storm to calm the winds. Another tool of the Mermaid is a mirror. This object has long been used for magic as a “looking glass” much like a crystal ball. Mirrors represent the moon and the intuitive self. Wrap these tools into a medicine bag, and you have future-telling abilities, far sight, sensitivity, and psychic aptitude.

WHAT DO MERMAIDS LOOK LIKE ?🧜‍♀️ 🧜‍♀️

Traditional Mermaids have the upper body of a woman and the lower body of a fish. Images of Mermaids appear as early as ancient Babylon. Sailors considered images of Mermaids as a good luck charm, which is why figureheads were carved with Her image.

Being tied to the Water Element, Mermaid may take on the meaning of a source of life, cleansing, and renewal. Water can also be a fierce foe, with crashing waves that threaten to take us under into the unknown. The ancients found themselves inexplicably attracted to the Mermaid, while also being frightened of their powers.

These “Angels of the Sea” appear most frequently at dawn and dusk. These are “in between” times when the veil between worlds grows thin. Some say they only show themselves to people who have pure hearts, giving he Mermaid the symbolism of discretion and awareness.

WHAT DOES JAXDESSA LOOK LIKE?

Here....She is .. 🧜‍♀️ 7:47 PM(look up the numerology or 747 and 757 , 759)

Those are your times you'll be likely to sense her close to you...

When Jaxdessa swims with you, she brings you into the realm of Water, which also speaks of our emotions. You will be challenged to dig deep inside yourself to understand your fears and scars fully. Only by so doing can you truly heal. Throughout this journey, Jaxdessa offers love and support.The Mermaid animal spirit may also bear a message about reconnecting with your inner child and nature. The innocence and joy of the child dances with the beauty of the world. There is a richness in this relationship building process, and Mermaid is your guide...

When working with your Mermaid guide, it is essential that you remain true to yourself: She will not condone facades. Keep it real and be ready to swim.

Those born with Mermaid imprinted on their soul feel at one with nature. They see the wonders of the world with an appreciative eye, but also know that there is much more going on behind the proverbial curtain. The Mermaid constantly interacts and exchanges various feelings with others including joy, peace, and liveliness. The Mermaid’s language of love is an affirmation.

Greed doesn’t really measure in the mind of the Mermaid. They do not seek to possess others, but rather walk with them in mutual goals and dreams. The Mermaid’s inner child is strong and very active.

More...SpiritGuide bio

The Mermaid person has intense psychic abilities. You see spirits, fairies, Devas, Angels, and other Fantasy creatures easily. Some of the gifts you may have include clairvoyance and hypnotic allure

The Mermaid is an amazing empath, but this can also be her undoing. She feels everything. A crowded room can become totally overwhelming. Thankfully with time and practice, she can learn to detach from others feelings and consider them much as one might watch a movie. This protects the Mermaid from psychic overload and burnout. ((YOU MORE THAN LIKELY CSN RELATE TO THIS AND MOST OF THE MERMAID QUALITIES BECAUSE YOU ARE HER SHE IS YOU;; DO YOU SEE THESE SIMILARITIES YET?))

💘 💜 💛 💚 🧡 💘

Regarding relationships JaxDessa people may not settle down, but they certainly enjoy a good lover. There is raw, unbridled sexuality here that begs for attention. Because they are very private people, however, some of these desires go unfulfilled.

Spirit Guides 3 Messages for me today (current date Jan 11th 2021)

First message: #1

ANGEL NUMBER 833

Number 833 is a blend of the vibrations and energies of number 8 and number 3, with number 3 appearing twice, amplifying its influences of 3, and relating the the Master Number 33. Number 8 relates to self-confidence and personal authority, discernment, higher wisdom, achievement and successes, practicality, consideration, giving and receiving, and serving humanity. Number 8 is also the number of karma; the Universal Spiritual Law of Cause and Effect. Number 3 is the number of affability, enthusiasm, assistance and encouragement, communication and self-expression, growth, expansion and the principles of increase, manifesting, broad-minded thinking, talents and skills, and the energies of the Ascended Masters. Master Number 33 (the Master Teacher) relates to the attributes of the ‘healer’, compassion, blessings, the teacher of teachers, inspiration, honesty, discipline, bravery and courage.

Angel Number 833 is a powerful message and sign that you are being fully supported, surrounded and supported by your Spirit Guides ...It indicates that you are successfully manifesting prosperity and abundance in your life by the positive choices you have made and are currently making. Put your personal attributes and talents to good use and be open to receiving your well-earned rewards and blessings. Trust that all is going to Divine plan.

Angel Number 833 brings a powerful message of love and support, encouragement and guidance, and your SpiritGuide(s) ask that you maintain a positive attitude and outlook to continue manifesting positive abundance into your life. Remember that what you put out to the Universe comes back to you, so ensure that you use your personal power and talents in a positive manner, always.

Angel Number 833 tells you to take ownership of your own life and discover your dreams. Use your personal creativity in constructive and productive ways, and put your skills and talents to work to achieve your heart’s desires. You get what you expect so make sure you radiate positive energies and expect the highest and best in return. Trust that you will find success in your chosen endeavours.

Number 833 relates to number 5 (8+3+3=14, 1+4=5) and Angel Number 5.

Now look up # 5 see what it is ? Thats your next mission .🧜‍♀️.

Second Message : WHAT I NEED TO HEAR RIGHT THIS MOMENT ...

If you were to bite into a piece of cake and think it's awful because of certain flavors or a lack of some ingredient, it would not be pleasant in the moment. Even so, the experience could be beneficial to you later on. Suppose you wanted to bake a special cake for someone. The experience you had with the unappetizing cake might inspire you to do things differently. Every bad experience has an upside, Dear Jaxdessas darling, even if it doesn't seem so in the moment. Remember that today if something doesn't seem ideal.

Third Message: 🌟 ⭐ 💫 🌠 🌃 ✨ 🌟 ♎ January 11 - January 17

A project that is in the final stage of development could get a really big boost this week, dear Jaxdessas darling. This may come out of left field, and the help you need may come from someone you least expected and perhaps you don't even like, but don't cut off your nose to spite your face. This is essential assistance, and you should be grateful for it. Success is possible with a work- or money-related venture that didn't seem to be going very well all that long ago. This is due to your persistence and your optimistic attitude, so let this be a lesson for future endeavors. Some venture that you have put a lot of time and energy into may wind up hitting a brick wall very soon. You may want to proceed anyway, and you may want to figure out how many ways there are to get over the wall that stands between you and success. But before you invest that time, think about whether this will be worth the effort in the end. There could be something else coming along that could take its place, and that could be easier and more rewarding in the end.

&&&

A creak you hear in the dark could be the settling of an old house, or it could be a burglar creeping on the stairs. Loud voices you hear coming in through the windows could be your neighbors arguing, or it could be those same neighbors sharing good news. The lamp going out on your nightstand could be a sign that electricity has shut down, or it could mean you need a new bulb. There is often more than one way to interpret something, and usually there's nothing to worry about. Remember that today, Taurus, if you are tempted to follow worrisome thoughts. It's more likely there's nothing to worry about.

FINAL THOUGHTS?.. THE WISE ADVICE FROM YOUR MYSTIC MERMAID 🧜‍♀️

Step 1) Define Your Core Values

Know what is most important to you by determining your values for your professional and personal life.

These are the principles that are the foundation for your priorities, choices, actions, and behaviors.

You can start by looking at this list of values.

Step 2: Practice the habits.

Pick one or two from this list of positive character traits above to practice for several weeks.

Write down the actions you want to take or the behaviors you define that reflect this trait, and implement them in your daily life and interactions.

Wear a rubber band on your wrist or create other reminders to help you practice these good qualities.

Step 3: Find people with good character.

Surround yourself with people who reflect the character traits you want to embrace.

They will inspire and motivate you to build these traits in yourself.

Try to avoid people who have a weak character and make bad decisions.

Step 5: Take some risks.

Start taking small actions toward a goal or value that involves some level of risk.

When you face the possibility of failure and challenge yourself toward success, you become mentally and emotionally stronger and more committed to your principles.

Step 6: Stretch yourself.

Create high standards and big goals for yourself.

Expect the best of yourself and constantly work toward that, even though you will have setbacks and occasional failures.

Every stretch builds your confidence and knowledge that your positive character traits are getting stronger.

Step 7: Commit to self-improvement.

Realize that building your character is a life-long endeavor.

It is something that is practiced both in the minutiae and the defining moments of your life.

There will be times you step up to the character traits you embrace and other times you falter.

Thank You for taking the time to meet your Spirit Guide today have a nice day 😊 ✨ 💛 ☺ 💗

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havingacrisisabtdeanw · 3 years ago

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So I read 91 W.

Also, trigger warnings under the cut for mentions of suicidality

This isn’t actually going to really be about the fanfic 91 W, I don’t really know what it’s going to be about. Just that Supernatural and spn related content keep pulling things out of me that I thought were buried. Fuck. It’s been a trip today.

I almost joined the army when I was 18 - I wanted to use the scholarship to get through college. As it was we only had money for three years (aid sucked in my state) and by the end of my freshman year they basically guaranteed me a scholarship.

More than four years of college, I wanted out of my fucking life. I wanted out of my mom’s house so bad by that point I was breaking. I started having panic attacks that I couldn’t control, no one knew, no one was around, and they were always triggered by the thoughts of the friends I had made. I thought about how I couldn’t believe they wanted to be friends with me and the hope that I had worth, that I had a life outside of my miserable circumstances, mixed with my habitual searing self rejection forced me to break the fuck down. When I say I wanted out of my life I don’t necessarily mean that I was suicidal, but damn if my concern for myself was so low that any promise that I might never have to go back home again and I would jump for it, no matter the mortality rate. Army will keep you away from home for as long as you fucking want.

I didn’t join the army. I got a corporate stamp of approval at a summer internship, a promise that I would “go far” in economics or whatever I felt like pursuing from someone who was enough of a stranger to me for me to trust them. I remember the terror of turning down the offer, of turning over my ROTC gear. They make it easier to join than to leave.

So I didn’t leave. I joined the military fraternity on campus and received as a gift two of the fucking worst years of my life. I’m only kind of exaggerating. I went from the hazing of the fat army almost retired brass, too concerned with getting the suburbanite college students to sign their lives over to really put much thought into giving us hell to the much more energetic hazing of my ROTC college peers. To say I had no context was an understatement, and it will take me years to work through the fucking number that the experience did on me.

Worse was what I turned around and did to the class below me. I don’t think my methods were worse, if anything I stood by my promise to myself that I would be softer, and I know that the fraternity is different now, but I was sliding quickly toward to precipice of breakdown and everything in my brain was going downhill, my planning skills along with it. I don’t ever want to not be a civilian. There are days that I remember too clearly if I try, so I don’t try. Funny how reading military fanfiction will pull things out of you. I don’t have much inclination to be more specific in this paragraph.

My mom and stepdad were the only people in my life who were really advising me against joining the army, which was ineffective as they were literally the people I was trying to escape from. I would stay at my mom’s house on breaks from college while I was involved with my fraternity, and she was shocked when I told her a year later that they had hazed me.

On that, I’m blessed right now to be surrounded by people who know me well enough to call me on my “I’m okay” bullshit, who know to check on me, who can provide me company when I need it or leave me alone if I need that. I’m blessed that I got old enough that I learned how to speak through my pain, to trust that the ugly things I held inside myself weren’t so ugly to other people, that I got old enough to meet people who would take the all the ugly pieces of me and stroke them gently. I’m not religious, but saying “blessed” makes me feel less terrified than saying “lucky” because oh god what if everything had been different and then I’m hyperventilating again.

But things were different when I was in high school. I fell out of touch with a lot of my high school friends over the past couple years and recently have been reconnecting. I love them all to bits and am so happy, but oh boy is the me that I see reflected in how they talk to me not the me that the people around me know. They never saw through the “I’m okay.” They never saw the ugly parts of me. And I cried when I thought of them because of how terrified I was that oh they’ll hate me if they know who I really am.

I am okay now. I am okay reconnecting with my old friends and laughing about old times and talking about my depression as though it was just something I experienced between the ages of 19 and 22, as though it wasn’t brewing the whole time they knew me, and if the conversation goes there I can say “It’s okay, I was young and didn’t know how to talk about it.” Which, true.

I’m not angry at them, anymore. I used to be. You always took so much from me, and gave so little back. Years of being the mom friend, the one who would hear them out and try to give them good advice, just thankful that someone was willing to give my weird ass the time of day. Misplaced. I was young and I didn’t know how to talk about it. How does a 14 year old know how to explain to someone they’ve known 6 months that every day they wake up scared to go to school because there are too many people, their family life is a bad joke that would make a sitcom audience go “this is too much,” and they’re hungry more often than they can even bare to notice.

I got out, and I didn’t join the army and I didn’t kill myself. I’m “pursuing my dream” in academia, studying mathematics. I’m surrounded by people who don’t know me and I don’t know them, and it’s hard sometimes not to hate them for not knowing what I’ve gone through and not appreciating how much of a miracle it is that I’m here in the first place without me having to explain it. Today was one of those days. I sat in class and scrolled through army fanfic on my phone and looked around at my classmates and thought “they won’t know, they’ll never know.” As if they should know.

They shouldn’t. Nobody should. I don’t, even. It’s funny for me to be so triggered by a WW2 fic when I was barely a toenail sliver into the military in my entire life. Hell, one of the friends I had a breakdown over joined up and I’m desperately trying to get her to leave before she ends up dead - undisclosed medical issues.

But not all wars are fought on a battlefield, and wishing you were more traumatized is a great sign that you were traumatized, and badly. And I was.

I had a brief moment in the bathroom after class where I almost lost control completely (but I had to work) and the trigger wasn’t remembering everything that happened - it was remembering that there are people in my life now who are angry on my behalf, an anger that negates my attempt to go “I’m okay, this is normal, everyone goes through shit.”

I escaped, but goddamn are there days when I have trouble believing it.

#tw suicidality

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survivor-ingary · 3 years ago

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Rites of Passage

Keith: Wish we had more time to talk to each other, with time difference and going to the first tribal council of the season. That chance never came. Hope someday we play again.

Babs: It's giving Boy Mulan rn. Wish I could've at least said hi to you lmao

Dennis: We never met

Babs: Your vibes are lovely. I wish you could've stuck around longer :( 💔

Dennis: We never met

Keith: I’m you are a nice person but since you were so inactive, it was hard to get a conversation in the game with you. Hopefully you play again when u have the time.

Babs: Hi! We didn't get to talk at all lmao hope we get to next time!

Dennis: Hope everything is okay with you

Keith: I don’t know why we just didn’t click and spoke much. Even at our first tribal together we never got much of a conversation going. Sorry

Babs: 'm sorry, dude, I had 0 recollection that you were here when I missed my first tribal. Welp. What are ya gonna do?

Dennis: We never met

Keith: it was very sad to see you go especially for the reason you were being targeted for. The timing was unfortunate. Where three people came over after mutiny that were safe and people were very worried about you aligning with former Kyoshi cast members at merge. You never got the opportunity only to prove otherwise. I had hoped we could have worked longer in the game being OG Pendragon. Hopefully on another season. :)

Babs: Of all the votes I casted, I regret yours the most. I wish I could've kept you in, but it was the majority regardless of my choice. I hope we can talk after and reconnect. I love your vibe.

Dennis: Sorry Moth :( I hate that you were voted out but it’s not because of you, it’s the people that you would’ve worked with.

Babs: We didn't get to connect very much, but "m'theydy" will never not get me.

Dennis: You are a saturnian legend and you were robbed.

Keith: I wish you stayed longer with us and didn’t leave. In the time you were with us, I saw a friendly, happy and great person. Also a massive team player, who would be willing to color their hair for a challenge.

Babs: ROBBED. That's it, that's the whole rite. You deserved so much better, truly.

Dennis: Queen you were sooooo robbed. I wanted to work with you in this game and I am sorry that Anastasia and Brayden lied that hard to you to paint you a false scenario. You deserved so much better and I hope that one day we can see each other in another org :)

Keith: Just like you, your blindside was an iconic moment of this season. As much as I thought it was too soon for you to go but you putting a bigger target on yourself so that you don’t blindside people who you were loyal to, was going to make the situation hard. But There is no question about your loyalty hence I understand why you did what you did. But I wish we would rather choose a side then keep everyone happy and I wouldn’t have mind going with anyone at that point. I appreciate you for making the time and effort to connect with me at my pace. I hope you understand that It wasn’t a move against you but became a move for self preservation. Hope we can have a tea spilling party after this season.

Babs: Miss Shady Boots, I see you, ma'am. Wish I could've seen more of your mess this season. Hope to see you at Mary's one day :')

Dennis: King. I did you soooooooooooooooo dirty. I hope we can still play roblox after dis game. Once I heard from Ellie that you suspected me of wanting to work with Raffy it became very clear to me you were not going to trust me down the line. You were a threat who had to go, and I’m not sorry I voted you out but I am sorry about the way that I went about it.

Keith: This was a tough vote. I knew we didn’t have much of a game connection. I knew since I wouldn’t have the option to work long-term with you this season. I didn’t want to string you along on anything or give you any false hope unnecessarily because that would just be cruel. I honestly found you to be an amazing, down to earth and genuine person. Really wished we came together on an earlier tribe. Someone like you with such an amazing energy would be a great ally and friend. Whether, the game would go our way or not. It would still be a blast playing with you. Also, I know u don’t need it but the offer still stands. U ever feel anxiety and need a diversion. Call me anytime and anywhere, I will help anyway I can.

Babs: CEO of plants. Your vibes are immaculate. Please let's be friends after this.

Dennis: I wish you and I had developed a game relationship. We had a very strong personal relationship like I feel like we’d be friends in real life ya know? But in this game, you were working with people that ultimately did not work with me and I felt like your loyalty would ultimately never come to me. Sorry that it had to be that way youre still cool.

Keith: Never expected to see you go the way you did. You’re an awesome and sweet person. Excited to see you succeed on twitch and ready to support an amazing person like you in anything you decide to do. Drop that link.

Babs: Dennis constantly sings your praises, and any friend of his is a friend of mine. Drop that stream link asap.

Dennis: You forever changed my life when you told me I’m actually not a red head but a brunette. That’s wild. It was awesome to play with you and I’m sorry that you were voted out the way you were. It was very refreshing to play with someone who wasn’t coming from a survivor-strategy background. Stay awesome :)

Keith: I know based of the previous seasons. Your amazing to watch play the game. From your social ability to your executions of big moves, the fact that you never back down or give up, it is amazing. But all those attributes make it hell to play with you. I knew that you wanted to take me to the end because you could beat me. So day one I knew I would cut you sometime, but unlike last time. I needed to make sure that this time when I took a shot, under no circumstances I could miss. But getting rid of you was a decision that took into account only from events this season, I saw you subtly trying to push the narrative that I was not doing much in the game during tribal, to ensure I would have no chance to win. So I knew taking you out sooner would be better, which would deny you any chances of flipping things over. I thank you for supporting me through the initial start of the game and that immunity challenge (which I originally thought of sabotaging. So good call on doing it yourself). You’re a great competitor.

Babs: https://youtu.be/trRgAQ7L8mE

No, but really, your tone seems very pointed. I know that we're friends irl, but I'm not willing to get a strike for anyone unless they're dying. Also, my fellow finalists are fucking sick. I want us all to win. To hell w being a mess for once.

Keith: Firstly I just would ask for your forgiveness. I sat on that call, the night u left. N It was so fucking so hard, to see someone care about the game so much and stressing themselves for it, who would do anything to keep themselves in the game. I loved that passion. N I’m sorry in that moment I had no choice but to lie to you. You were a strong player. I don’t know if it’s the red hair, but you look like an evil genius, whom I hope, I get to play with someday.

Babs: She's giving Captain Brayden Morgan rn, we love to see it. It was fun to have a not-so-cutthroat round w you for once! Cheers!

Dennis: Literally we will never be compatible to work together in a game. Two completely different types of logic. And I am at peace with that.

Keith: I am really sorry about your vote out. It was the one time that I didn’t know a flip was happening, I appreciate you still putting your faith in me during the game at that point, Wish I could have done better.

Babs: Miss Beverly Hills, I will admit, some premerge tea w spilled w me that didn't sit right w my spirit. I don't want it to be something that spreads and comes off as something that precedes your reputation in the community. Some pearls of wisdom from a messy bitch, themself.

Dennis: I really enjoyed our lil talks and happy to help you figure out your rising sign. I wish that fire you had at the beginning of the game stayed lit.

Keith: I really hope you don’t hate me. I genuinely believed you played a great game and you would win if you got to the end. I worked my way in with Dennis, so that he would have more loyalty to me. I can say that after kindergarten, in comparison to my age. You’re the only little girl I am afraid off. Also I stan you for supporting Riley in the instant tribal that way you did and for your Kind heart. Queen Move.

Babs: Miss Country Costco, our vibes aligned from the moment we started to talk! You were a target from the jump, and rightfully so. You're a tough cookie, who still manages to smile and get a laugh out of the rest of us. Never change, except for the boiled peanut thing. Ew, you weirdo. LMAO ❤

Dennis: You’re an icon and my favorite person to have met. It has been fun to enable each other’s chaos and play this game messy. Super fun to strategize with you and our long talks were also a blast. Sorry that it ended the way that it did, but we will be friends after dis I know it :)

Keith: My fellow timezone challenged brother. Words are not enough to describe what an amazing human being you are. I am so grateful to have met you and can’t wait for the game to end so I get to talk to you. My connection with you may have taken more time to develop than with Dennis, But it was a true connection throughout. And no matter what people say, you played an amazing game and I really thought you could win in the end. Officially a lifetime member of the Kenneth Fan Club.Miss Country Costco, our vibes aligned from the moment we started to talk! You were a target from the jump, and rightfully so. You're a tough cookie, who still manages to smile and get a laugh out of the rest of us. Never change, except for the boiled peanut thing. Ew, you weirdo. LMAO ❤

Babs: My dear cousin in colonization, there should've been a final 4, and that's the truth. But, as most things go, that's just not the fantasy that played out irl. Your vibes are fantastic, and I love a gay who laughs at every thing I do. It boosts my ego. Really, it does. Keep in touch!

Dennis: I truly felt like sometimes we were the same person. I’ve appreciated and admired your ability to strategize and critically think. You’re one hell of a game player and I wish you had won an immunity or two because I know how bad you wanted it. I know you’re gonna shine in every org that you play because you are a king. You are a kitty cat. You are zaddy.

#rites of passage

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boushh2187 · 4 years ago

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Unexpected - RCIJ 2020

Title: Unexpected

By @boushh2187

Fandom: Once Upon a Time

Pairing: Rumbelle

Rumbelle Christmas in July 2020

Gift for @lotus0kid

Prompt: “I’m doing you a favor”

Word Count: 4053

Rated: PG

Author’s Note: I really hope you enjoy the story, lotus0kid, and that it makes you smile!

Summary: Storybrooke AU. Mr. Gold finds himself on an unexpected trip.

“When you think about it, I’m doing you a favor.”

“Shouldn’t that be my line?” Richard Gold looked up from his seat in Archibald Hopper’s office, his expensive three piece suit a bit wrinkled after all day wear. Dr. Hopper also wore a suit, though one that had seen better days. He looked slightly uncomfortable at being caught repeating the kind of words Gold often used, but only slightly. Perhaps, after a few long chats in this office over the years, Dr. Hopper felt as if they were friends. Gold wasn’t sure he’d go that far, even if Dr. Hopper knew more about Gold’s personal life than anyone in the town of Storybrooke, Maine. He had, after all, just threatened him with eviction for not having this month’s rent, but perhaps Dr. Hopper also knew that it was rather an idle threat. At least, due to the circumstances.

He looked across the room at Pongo. Dr. Hopper’s Dalmatian was resting on top of a comfortable looking blanket on top of his bed. The poor dog was recovering from surgery. His leg was wrapped up in a cast and he was drowsy from the procedure and the pain medicine. Gold had a soft spot for Pongo, and understood that Dr. Hopper had used the rent money and then some for this unexpected procedure.

“It’s the perfect solution,” Dr. Hopper continued, pushing up his glasses and sitting up straighter. I don’t have the money, due to Pongo’s surgery, but I do have this trip I was to go on, and now I need to stay with Pongo. You can go in my stead. It’s all expenses paid. I won it in a contest, so you don’t have to worry about a thing. I can make all of the changes with the company and you can even invite your son.” His smile reached his eyes, and the thought obviously made him happy. Dr. Hopper was one of very few people in this town that even knew he had a son, and how much Gold loved his son, and missed him.

Bae would probably enjoy it, and might be able to find a way to convince his mother to allow him to miss school. “That isn’t a bad idea. I haven’t seen him in months. It would be the perfect reason for his mother to allow him to go away with me.”

Archie brightened even more, if that was possible. “I told you! I really would be grateful if you would take this deal.”

Gold was amused. “I think you might be adapting some of my quirks.” This time, Dr. Hopper grinned and walked over to his small cabinet and pulled out a bottle of scotch. Gold nodded when Dr. Hopper nudged the bottle towards him as an offer. Adapting some of his quirks, indeed. Dr. Hopper poured them both a glass and they shared a moment of silence as they enjoyed the fine liquid. Gold put his glass down. “And I sincerely hope that Pongo mends swiftly. Call me with the details as soon as possible so that I can make arrangements with my son.”

“Will do!” Dr. Hopper was already rummaging through his papers to make the relevant calls. Hopefully, this will turn out to be a good way to reconnect with his teenage son.

*****

Mr. Gold boarded the plane looking more like he was going to a business meeting instead of a vacation. He had a shoulder bag that held his travel essentials, and he’d checked his other luggage. It took some effort to move through the narrow aisle of the plane with his bag and his cane. He resisted the temptation of blowing his hair out of his eyes. His hair was shoulder length, as he’d worn it since before Bae was born, except that now there were generous amounts of grey along his temples and sideburns. Where had the time gone? He would hopefully be meeting his fourteen year old son at the hotel. Fourteen! In the last picture his son had sent him, Bae looked like he’d grown a foot, and he had grown his hair out like his father, except there was much more curl to his son’s hair, unlike his. He’d taken from his mother in that regard. Gold really hoped that Milah would not resist allowing Bae to take this trip on his own to meet his father.

After what seemed like ages of waiting for people to place their carry ons in the overhead bins, Gold was finally at his seat. This plane had two seats on either side of the aisle. It was quite small, and he had wished he’d convinced the company that provided Dr. Hopper with this winning trip to allow him to upgrade to first class.

The window seat was already occupied, and he looked carefully at his ticket. He did indeed have the aisle seat, which on the one hand helped because he could stretch out his bad ankle if he really needed to, but on the other hand he might have to get up over and over again if he had an annoying neighbor. He took his seat, took the newspaper out of his bag, and placed his bag underneath the chair. He put his seatbelt on and settled in with the folded newspaper in his lap. It read: June 1st, 1983. At least he was able to get today’s paper at the airport.

“Good Morning, Mr. Gold.” He started, and turned in the direction of the voice. The Australian accent was unmistakable. He knew this person. She was from Storybrooke as well. The daughter of the local florist.

“Ms. French, I didn’t expect to see you here. Good Morning.” He was, in fact, quite taken aback. Truth be told she often took his breath away, especially when he ran into her unexpectedly in town. There were times when he knew he might see her: at Granny’s Diner for breakfast or lunch, at the library where she worked, at her father’s shop, or even in his shop, when she would stop by looking for rare books or tea sets. However, this was something else entirely. He’d never imagined running into here on a plane of all places, and looking as lovely as ever. She was dressed in bright yellow flower patterned sundress, and her sunglasses were perched on top of her head. Her brown hair fell in waves, covering her bare shoulders.

“Didn’t Archie tell you I’d be going on this trip too?”

“Oh no, he failed to mention that. I… I didn’t realize that the two of you were together.” The last bit somehow made it out of his mouth instead of staying in his thoughts.

“Oh, no… we aren’t.” She reached out and touched his hand, and he tried not to react in any way. “We were just going as friends, since I was there at Granny’s and encouraged him to enter the contest. It was for up to four guests. Ruby and Billy were going to come too, but it didn’t work out.”

“I see… well I’m probably not going to be as good company as your friends…”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Mr. Gold. I always enjoy chatting with you.”

He managed to smile back at her. “I enjoy our talks as well, Ms. French.” She smiled back at him and leaned back in her chair.

“Archie mentioned that your son might be joining us?”

For a moment, Gold was angry with Dr. Hopper for mentioning his son, but Belle was so very sweet in how she inquired that he relaxed immediately.

“Yes, I’m hoping his mother will allow him to make the trip on his own. He’s fourteen now, and I think he can manage. I’m supposed to call them when we land and make sure he will be joining me.”

“Oh I’m sure he will come. He’ll enjoy visiting Disney World too! So many rides. This is my first time visiting, but I did go to DisneyLand once when I was his age. I loved it.”

They mostly spent the flight in companionable silence. She read her book and he read the paper, commenting on interesting things they read. As they left their seats to exit the plane, Belle reached up to retrieve her carry on. Gold thought for a moment, how best to help her with his bad leg hindering him. Before he could come up with a solution, a tall lad reached up and took her bag down for her. She thanked him politely and Gold allowed her to move ahead of him as they exited the plane. He tried not to glare at the young man behind him.

*****

They shared a cab to the hotel and stepped up to different desks to check in. Gold made sure to request an adjoining room for Bae who would be arriving in the early evening as per his ex-wife’s assurances. Belle and Gold parted ways after check in, with Belle heading up just ahead of him. When he arrived at his room, he set up his luggage and looked around. It wasn’t bad. They had set them up at the Contemporary, which was quite nice, and had easy access to the Magic Kingdom park. The rooms were higher end than Gold had expected from a trip that was not paid for by the guests. Gold’s room had two double beds and a balcony with a theme park view. The concierge assured him that they would have a wonderful view of the fireworks. Gold discovered the door to the adjoining room and decided to take a look at Bae’s room and make sure all was well before he arrived.

He opened the door and nearly fell back into his room. He had to steady himself with his cane. He hadn’t opened the door to an empty room, as he had expected. Instead, he had barged in on Belle, who was unpacking her luggage and laying out her clothes onto the bed. He had, unfortunately, arrived just in time to see her holding up her nightgown, which was practically see through, and definitely more suited for Florida heat than the cooler weather in Maine.

“I’m so… so sorry,” he stammered, as Belle stared at him with a mixture of surprise and what he thought was amusement. He felt flushed with embarrassment, and that never happened to him. She placed the nightgown on the bed, and put her hands on her hips. “I thought this was going to be empty. I had requested an adjoining room for my son…”

“It’s OK, I think I understand what happened.” Belle said, gently. “You need to remember that you and I are on the same vacation. You requested an adjoining room, but the trip was originally intended for a family vacation. One room for the adults, and the other for the kids.” She beckoned him inside. He took a few steps in, feeling very awkward, and hoping he didn’t show it at all. He normally didn’t betray his emotions, but with Belle, it was different.

Belle’s room had a large king sized bed, and the same balcony and view. “I see. So this must be the room they had intended for the adults, and I have...” he turned to indicate the open door to the other room.

“The kids room,” Belle chuckled. “Do you want this room? I don’t mind.”

“No, no. I’ll see if I can change things around. May, I?” he indicated the room’s telephone, and Belle nodded.

After a five minute long conversation with the concierge he gave up.

“No other rooms. Cheerleader convention.” That time, Belle laughed out loud, heartily

“Bae and I can share my room. It’s quite alright. We have two beds. I had hoped to give him his own room, but this will be fine…”

“Thank you, Mr. Gold.”

“Not at all. I’m sorry to have barged in this way. I hope you know that I didn’t intend to interrupt--” he indicated all of the clothes on the bed.

“I didn’t mind.” She smiled at him, somewhat flirty, though Gold was sure that was his imagination. He had imagined that kind of thing on more than one occasion in their past interactions, and he always immediately admonished himself. Belle was not someone that would be interested in him. She was a beautiful, kind, intelligent, PhD student, who could find someone much better suited for her. And someone closer to her age too. He was a good fifteen years her senior. He shouldn’t even entertain the thought.

*****

Belle was done changing into her comfortable clothes for the evening. She had decided to stay at the hotel and order in, perhaps watch the fireworks from the balcony, and then get an early start in the morning. She thought that she might ask Mr. Gold and his son if they wanted to visit the parks together, but she hadn’t decided on whether she would be intruding or not. The thing was that she was quite excited to have found herself in this situation. She had always had a bit of a crush on Mr. Gold, ever since she had arrived in Storybrooke after Grad School. It was over three years already, and while she’d had a couple of boyfriends, no one ever really kept her interest. Of course, she knew he was quite a few years older than her, but she never paid much attention to that sort of thing. She was a grown woman who could go out with whomever she wanted. She was getting ahead of herself. Even though she had a feeling that he returned her interest, she wasn’t certain. Still, seeing how he blushed earlier gave her a little bit of hope.

There was a knock at her door. Perhaps it was Mr. Gold calling? She opened the door and took a peek through the crack. It was a boy, a teenager, slightly taller than she was, with tousled brown hair. This had to be Bae! “Hello!” she greeted him.

“I’m sorry, I think I must have the wrong room.” He looked down at some wrinkled papers in his hand.

“You must be Bae!”

The boy looked surprised at first, but recovered quickly. “I like Neal better, actually. My parents just call me Bae. It’s a nickname.”

“For Baelfire, I know. It’s your middle name. Your dad told me. He’s going to be so happy to see you. He’s been looking forward to it so much.”

Neal looked like he was trying to process everything. He was still standing outside the room and he looked like he was trying to peer inside. “Is my dad staying with you?” he asked slowly, uncertainly.

Belle smiled at him and responded coyly, “Yes, and no. He’s next door. I’ll let him explain it to you.” She put her arm on his shoulder and led him toward Mr. Gold’s room. Neal knocked on the door and it was a moment before Gold appeared and smiled so broadly that Belle was certain she’d never seen him look so happy.

“Bae!”

Neal hugged his father tightly, “It’s Neal now, Papa. Remember?” He was smiling when he pulled away.

“I’ll let you two get reacquainted,” Belle said. “Have a good evening.”

“Nice meeting you… I”m sorry, I don’t know your name.”

“Oh forgive me! It’s Belle. Nice meeting you too, Neal.” She waved goodbye and went back to her room, feeling very happy for Mr. Gold.

*****

“So she isn’t your girlfriend?” Neal asked, for the second time. He was sprawled out on one of the double beds, clicking through the channels on the TV.

“Bae, I’ve already answered that question.” He looked up over the large map of the Magic Kingdom park that he was analyzing. He was determined that his son have a good time on this vacation.

“Are you sure, though?”

Gold folded the map in half and gave his son an exasperated look. “Of course I’m sure, Bae.”

“Well then, I’m pretty sure she wants to be your girlfriend.”

Gold sighed. This was getting a bit out of hand.

“She likes you, Dad. Mom says I have a 6th sense about these kinds of things. I always know who is going to end up dating at school before they do.” Neal sat up on the bed. “Don’t you think she’s pretty?”

“Of course, but that’s besides the point. She wouldn’t be interested in me, and that’s a fact.”

Neal laughed. “Trust me, Dad. She likes you.”

“Can we please change the subject?” Gold asked, wearily.

“Sure. I think we need to discuss something else. You aren’t going to go to the parks in a suit every day, are you?” Neal pointed at the suits hanging in the closet.

Gold suddenly found himself at a loss for words. He hadn’t considered that at all, but he had nothing else with him. “It’ll be fine, Bae.” He was trying to reassure himself, as much as Bae.

“No way, Dad. I’m going to get Belle to back me up on this one.” Before Gold could stop him, Neal was up out of bed and knocking on the door to the connecting room.

It took all of one minute for Belle to open the door curiously.

“Belle you have to tell my dad that he can’t wear his usual clothes to the parks. He’s going to melt.”

Belle laughed at the colorful expression. “I don’t think he’d melt exactly, but he’d probably be very uncomfortable. You don’t have anything more suitable for the hot weather and for all the walking?”

She directed the question to Gold, and he shook his head, lamely. She turned back to Neal. “You know what you have to do then,” she said, solemnly. “You have to take him shopping. There are many shops in this hotel, and they all will still be open. Why don’t you two go shopping and before you go we can decide on something for dinner. I’ll order it while you two are out, and by the time you get back the food will be here for you.”

Gold couldn’t deny that this sounded like a good idea, and it made him feel so very good to have Belle helping him navigate this situation.

*****

Over dinner it was decided that the three of them would go to the Magic Kingdom park together. Gold was dressed in a white t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. Neal had tried to get him into a pair of shorts, but it wasn’t happening. It was going to look odd enough limping around with his silver tipped cane in that outfit. Not nearly as dignified as when wearing a suit. Both Belle and Bae wore tank tops, and shorts, and they slathered on the sunscreen. Belle made sure to give Gold some too, and she even rubbed some on the bridge of his nose before he could protest.

They spent the day together going on various rides. Gold was glad that Belle was with them. Occasionally, he would sit out on some of the rides and she would go with Bae. They went on Space Mountain, and the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad together. They all went on the Mad Tea Party ride, even though it made Gold a bit queasy. Pirates of the Carribean was amusing, and they were able to ride that one together. Both Belle and Bae grabbed onto him when the ride suddenly dropped in the dark. By the time they went on the Haunted Mansion ride, Neal had made some young friends from the cheerleader convention. Belle and Gold ended up alone in the same car, and Belle held onto his hand the entire time, alternating being thrilled, spooked, and fascinated by the ride.

By the evening the three of them functioned almost like a little family. That’s what it felt like to Gold, and he would be very sad when this trip was over and they went back to their regular lives. Neal had wanted them to stay in line for Peter Pan’s Flight, but Gold had asked to sit that one out. Belle offered to keep him company while Neal went with his newfound friends. It was getting close to the hour of the fireworks display and the park was emptying out in certain areas, as people gathered to watch the show. Many of the rides had shorter lines for that reason, so he hoped that Neal wouldn’t be too long and they would be able to find a spot to watch the fireworks show.

Belle led him to a bench near a running fountain. This section of the park was quieting down as the crowds moved towards Cinderella’s Castle. The sound of the fountain was soothing after the long day. They sat together for a bit, and Belle slipped her hand in his. It wasn’t the first time that day, or the second, or the third. Gold had been trying very hard not to read into it, but it was difficult not to. Belle had been very close to him all day. He also had been behaving in a more familiar manner with her. Something was changing, or perhaps it was something finally coming to light.

“Mr. Gold. I have a confession to make.”

Gold swallowed hard. “Oh?” He tried to sound more curious than nervous.

“I like you very much. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have liked you for a very long time.”

“I like you too, Ms. French. You’re very good company.”

“Please call me Belle. I’ve asked you before.”

“Yes, Belle. I’m sorry. Old habits…”

“You do understand what I’m saying, don’t you?” She took her hand and placed it on his cheek, making him face her.

“I do, I just don’t quite believe it.”

“I’ve enjoyed this day so much, haven’t you?”

He nodded.

“I want to have more days like this, where we get to spend time together, because I think you like me just as much as I like you.”

She was gently stroking his cheek. “Am I correct?”

He remembered Neal’s words from last night: “She likes you, Dad” and wondered if she’d overheard them. He had felt the connection between them all throughout this trip, but he refused to believe it. He wasn’t going to deny it anymore. “Belle French, I like you very much indeed.”

She sighed in relief, and smiled. “Mr. Gold, I’d like to kiss you now.”

“Under one condition,” he said, smiling. “You have to stop calling me Mr. Gold.”

“Deal,” she said, and leaned forward. He met her half way and they shared a sweet, gentle kiss. He pulled back, and gauged her reaction. She didn’t seem like she wanted him to move too far, and pulled him back for a deeper kiss.

“Dad! Come on we’re going to miss the… fireworks… show…” Neal stopped in front of them, out of breath from having run over from the ride nearby. His jaw hung open, and it took him a moment to recover. He clapped and pointed at his father. “I told you, Dad! I know about this stuff! Since you guys are busy, is it ok if I head over with my friends? I can meet you back here.”

“You can go on ahead, but not too far, we’ll be right behind you,” Belle said, and pulled Gold up from his seat. She linked her arm with his and they followed Neal as he met up with his friends just up the path.

“When we get back to Storybrooke, would you like to go to dinner with me?” Gold asked.

Belle chuckled. “Most definitely yes. Maybe we can have some fireworks in Storybrooke too,” she teased, and squeezed his arm.

Instead of being taken aback this time, he teased in return, “I think it is quite likely after that last display.” She leaned in closer, and the fireworks went off above the castle. The crowd around them cheered, and music played through the speakers around them. They walked arm in arm and found a spot near Neal and his new friends. They were pointing and marveling at the display. Belle leaned against him as they watched, and Gold had a sudden feeling of gratitude towards Dr. Hopper. He really did do him a big favor.

The End.

#lotus0kid #rumbelle christmas in july #rumbelle #rumbelle fic #rumbelle fanfic #rcij 2020 #my fics #my stuff #unexpected

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