#I really like the yuri I think I’ve like drawn them

[pizzecato]

Touch Starved

[mass-angel-exodus]

Male Robin and fem whitney is a pair I definitely didn't expect to see but I really like it - cow anon

They’re not my favorite LI ship but I’m not a picky shipper. I’ll find a way to like all of them. I’ve actually drawn Robin x Whitney quite a few times before. I think their appeal is the whole nerdy gamer who’s really nice x mean bimbo alpha bitch thing.

She would NOT be good to him lmfao

Minors DNI || Age in bio BYF || DO NOT REPOST

I made some art of them in like 2023 but it’s yuri because I’m a stupid Baka idiot stupid himejin. Or it was a request I can’t remember

And the first time I drew them was when i was just shipping them all left and right. This is straight ASS my god

[bones4thecats]

May i ask for Yor briar! Reader x record of ragnarok, who do you think would fit her the most? (Also she still has anya and she fights for humanity for her daughter and brother)

A/N: I’ve actually tried starting to watch Spy x Family, and from what I’ve seen, it’s really good! So, I’m using what I’ve seen of Yor in this! Anyways, enjoy~~

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

🪩 On god, he was upset about this

🪩 He isn’t fond of Humanity and we all know this, they gave him headaches, but hearing Heimdall’s constant rants on the contestants was a close second in causes

🪩 He watched as their representatives, Cheranbog and Belobog, step out and form out of black and white smoke

🪩 Then he heard Heimdall yell out your introduction;

“ And welcoming one of the most well-known assassins throughout history, the Thorn Princess, better known as, Y/N! ”

🪩 You stepped outside in your classic outfit, a black dress with your hair mostly tied up and your weapons drawn

🪩 There were only two things left on his mind, why are two gods going against one human and why are you so pretty?!

🪩 Belobog and Chernabog chuckled at your facial expression, it was fair and non-threatening compared to those of Lü Bu

🪩 Once you landed the first hit against them, he was on the edge of his seat

🪩 Now, he was hoping you would win, just so he could actually speak to you

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

💐 Much like Shiva, she is not fond of Humanity, as they were destroying everything beautiful on Earth that she worked to keep nice

💐 She was just wondering around Valhalla one day when she heard a young girl laughing

💐 She turned around and saw a young, pink-haired girl with green eyes stroll up to her and reach out to shake her hand

“ I’m Anya! What’s your name? “

💐 Aphrodite smiled and shook the young girl’s hand before giving Anya her name and a flower crown she had made

💐 Anya smiled and yelled out to her mama, you, and she saw as you, the human who had just fought against Belobog and Chernabog, run up to scold her on leaving you without anyone watching

💐 Looking at you, she noticed you were one of the few humans who seemed to care for the planet during life, putting in effort to make sure the flowers stayed healthy

💐 Smiling at you and chuckling as the young girl tried escaping your grip, she made sure to remind herself later to speak to you, she had some questions for you

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

📯 He met nearly every contestant in Ragnarok, or at least had spoken briefly to them so he could get some bare info for their introduction during battle

📯 When he first spoke to you, your brother was helping you put your hair up while your daughter laughed in your lap, telling you a joke she had heard from Sasaki earlier

📯 Seeing your smile made him laugh, normally when preparing for battle, the Humans were training and keeping their composure

📯 You were the opposite, and he liked it

📯 At first, he thought that your brother, Yuri, was your husband, and for some reason he was quite saddened

📯 Maybe it was because Buddha had taken his horn earlier, maybe something else

📯 When doing your introduction, anyone with feelings could see how his voice seemed to be laced in more happiness when mentioning you attacking the two Slavic deities, Belobog and Chernabog

📯 After the battle was over, he had helped escort you and your fairly injured body to Brunhilde, Göll, and Kojiro Sasaki to carry you to heal

📯 He needed to check on you once the day’s battles were over, he can’t let his new favorite human go without his presence for long, now can he?

[musicalmoritz]

What are your thoughts on SakuNene?

YIPPEE another ship ask. I’m just gonna get right into it and say that I LOVE Sakunene. Character foil ships are a personal favorite of mine (Togachako and AkuAtsu how I love you dearly). I like how the similarities are drawn with each other down to their appearances, their color palettes compliment each other well and they both have the same micro bang lol

But really, them both being assistants to supernaturals yet on two different sides of good vs. evil. Sakura’s character being independent almost to a fault whereas Nene struggles with depending too much on others. Nene being emotional and wearing her heart on her sleeve vs. Sakura struggling to tell others that she cares about them. Nene making a wish out of love and Sakura making one out of destruction. The protagonist and the antagonist. It makes so much sense, they even have the gay ass trope of one of them trying to kill the other. The fact that it wasn’t personal makes it even better, Sakura has nothing against Nene and tries to be very polite and professional with her even when they’re at odds

This is also my number one ship to use as evidence for Nene being bi. I mean, come on, she basically had a crush on her. Comparing her to a porcelain doll when they first met, being completely in awe of her, blushing wildly when she got close, telling herself not to get distracted just because Sakura’s a “babe,” and then proceeding to get distracted anyways. I also think the bit of Nene thinking Sakura was Hanako’s ex is funny af, it reminds me of the song “Obsessed” by Olivia Rodrigo. I’ve been meaning to write a fic abt that but I’m not sure when I have time given all my other fic plans

I like these two best as toxic yuri, some of the fics are cute but I need more with some drama going on (I don’t mean that as slander for the fluff fics btw those are super cute and I love them). Like every TBHK femslash ship, I’ve already read through their entire ao3 tag. There was one I read where Sakura was stalking Nene, it was crazy dark but really good (“Dear Nene-Chan!” by Agilo on ao3 if you want to check it out). One of the best flavors of ships is “I just want to see them tear each other apart” and that is how I feel about Sakunene

Thank you for the ask, I had a lot of fun answering this one!

[brainrotheartrot]

hi hi yes hello,, first off i just wanna say i LOVE your art.

second, this is kinda weird but i just joined the arcane fandom not too long ago, & it was literally only because i saw vijinx art. like all of my mutuals are into arcane & i never bothered to get into it UNTIL i saw fanart of vijinx a few months ago. something abt it just intrigued me. i honestly never cared for caitvi.

however i wouldn’t consider myself a pro shipper, in fact i’d deny that. this is the first time i’ve enjoyed anything like this & i have no idea why. however i do like hardcore dynamics, for example, ellie/abby from tlou. but of course something like vi/jinx is more “extreme”. well in my opinion.

i’m coming to you because i’ve been stalking a lot of vijinx shippers and i really admire their content, especially yours. it’s such a guilty pleasure of mine. but i’m too scared to interact with anyone, even on an alt. so i just decided to stay anonymous.

i was just wondering if you ever felt guilty the first time you started shipping them? i’d honestly envy you if you haven’t. and how & why did you start shipping them? feel free to rant abt them for as long as you’d like.

i’ve been hearing stuff abt how they weren’t always sisters, like in the early league days. i wish it just stayed that way because it bothers me to not be able to talk abt my favorite ships publicly without being ridiculed for it. but a fucked up part of me is glad that they became sisters. holds more weight, you know. i understand the appeal entirely.

i’ve also even been secretly drawing them but i definitely do not have the balls to post them anywhere😭

ANYWAY, i’m yapping, but just let me know anything about your experience with them, how you view them n stuff. and if you have any advice to give me or any other information pls feel free. thank u so much

ps. i’m totally reading ur fic in a bit

Aww, hey there anon! Thanks for reaching out, always nice to meet another ViJinx fan :) I'm glad you enjoy my art, and I hope you'll like my fic as well! (Also, if you'd like to send me your art privately, I totally promise not to show anybody. <3)

I got a little rambly in my answer there, so I'll put it under the cut.

Honestly, I only call myself a 'proshipper' because this is what modern fandom lingo dictates. I don't really gel with a lot of elements of 'proshipdom', if you will -- there seems to be some broad agreement that if you like Some messed up aspects in your fiction, you must like All of them. And I really don't! I ship ViJinx because I love their specific dynamic, not just because I'm hot for every taboo topic by default. I probably would've shipped them just as much if the show had just made them close childhood friends, for example. But I also have no issue with fictional incest ships, I think they can be fun and juicy.

Like you, I've always been really drawn to problematic and intense lesbian relationships. I like CaitVi plenty, and I think they're going to get a lot messier in S2, which I'm excited for. But ViJinx is just an insanely compelling dynamic. I love the toxic codependent yuri shit. I love the tenderness and the violence, their shared past that now feels completely inaccessible to them both, Jinx's obsessiveness, Vi refusing to give up the image of Powder she's clung on to for years... man, this shit just rocks, okay. I'm not gonna pretend that it doesn't.

I've never felt any guilt about shipping ViJinx, tbh. I'm a fandom oldbie, by which I mean I was around before the morality police took over, and everyone understood we were just here to mash Barbies and have a good time. I've shipped several incest pairings before this, and I've always had a blast doing it. And so help me god, I don't intend to stop now, even if my Twitter blocklist is twenty miles long. I just immediately cut out anyone who tries to start shit, and chill with my fellow weirdos. It's a pretty small circle, but it's a nice time!

If you do decide to make an alt at some point, I recommend doing so on Twitter, as I've been able to find more active ViJinx shippers there. I could rec you some nice people to follow. :) Thanks for reaching out!

[dj-paintpony]

My Yuusona and SOME OF, My TWST oc’s!

I’m realizing now that I don’t think I’ve shown or shared anything about my Yuusona, so here goes!

Yume is a young woman from (normal world), who got pulled into Twisted Wonderland! She gets along well with most of the main students. (I want to give her a love interest but I can’t decide who because I love all the characters a lot…even though Deuce is my favorite…)

I initially wanted to post this after creating individual drawings of her with the characters…but it was taking awhile, so I took a lil break. I’ll share them when I’ve drawn them💖.

Yume lives in the Ramshackle dorm with all female students, Grim, (and a ghost from before ramshackle was closed, but we’ll get to that), because Crowley doesn’t want to mix girl students into the other dorms for the risk of the girls possibly getting harassed.

Yume is very gentle, almost motherly in her demeanor (cof cof mom friend), and friendly. She isn’t shy to speak her mind, but she does have severe self image issues due to having been chubby as a kid, and still wearing plus size clothes. She has stretch marks on her tummy, thighs and her upper arms. If someone were to say they liked her, she would feel confused, and almost bitter, because she thinks she’ll never live up to expectation.

In her world, she lived with her single mother and her older sibling, Yuri.

Yume loves singing, and gets along very well with every teacher except the coach, because her asthma keeps her from being able to catch up, which makes him frustrated since nearly everyone else can keep up…she’s actually a really fast runner, but can only go short bursts of time without having a severe asthma attack…

Yume’s hair typically stays at shoulder length. She actually struggles with anxiety and depression, but tries her best to always act like things are okay to not be a burden.

unfortunately Yume can also be a little oblivious when she’s legitimately happy. So for instance when Deuce accidentally cursed himself to be a cat, she didn’t realize it was him until Ace said something.

Yume is a great cook, and learned all she knows from her momma, and likes to experiment in the kitchen, often making ridiculous or tasty snacks.

Meet Rael, the TWST equivalent to Rapunzel. She’s a good natured And gentle woman, but will not hesitate to stand up for her friends if they’re wronged. She lives with her grandmother..

LESBIAN CHICK!💖

Would’ve ended up in pomefiore but Crowley decided all women were gonna end up in Ramshackle.

Doesn’t get along with Beau.

Adores Yume. Yume doesn’t realize though.

Her specialty magic is “Forsaken”, in which the effected person will be temporarily blinded, and feel afraid, alone and unable to move. It will feel like years have passed, leaving them traumatized. Rael has accidentally used this power on herself after her adoptive mother passed away.

Likes to teach Yume about magic, despite Yume being Magic-less.…

Rael enjoys wearing cute and fashionable clothes, but prefers clothes that are breathable.💖

Twisted from Jasmine

Prefers to go by Javi.

Specialty magic is “Beast Tamer”, enabling him to calm any agitated animals in the vicinity.

Avoids Yume because he’s afraid of Beau, which only makes Yume sad…(which in turn pisses Beau off more🤣)

Javi is Asexual.

Yume loves cold weather!

now to meet the Ghost I previously mentioned…it’s about to get sad😣💔

Twisted from the beast

Was murdered in the ramshackle dorm, which is why it was abandoned. (Murdered by one of  coach’s dead relatives)

Calls Yume “Beauty of mine” (hint at beauty & the beast), “Love”, “Dearest”, “Angel”, and “My dream”.

Specialty magic is “Haunted”, where the effected person falls into a deep sleep, allowing Beau to take control of their dream, and twist it into a horrific nightmare.

Yandere ghosty boi.

Doesn’t like Grim much, often calling him “pest”, “raccoon”, and “mangy fleabag”. He still doesn’t like the fact a monster was allowed into the school, and was accepted, when he was abused, assaulted, bullied, and killed by his peers.

So far is only intensely aggressive with Epel. He feels like Epel might replace him.

Was an illegitimate child and abused by his father, as well as at school.

Is still incredibly bitter that his mother passed away alone because he was murdered because people felt he “didn’t belong” at night Raven due to his birth.

Since meeting Yume, the first person to ever like him, he has become possessive, but sunny and warm, rather than quiet and ashamed of his existence.

Has moments of violent wishes, wanting to destroy others for Yume’s sake, if they ever make her cry, infiltrating their dreams. Leona has had many nightmares because of this, unfortunately…

Loves helping Yume with her schoolwork.

Beau is pansexual.

Now, I was feeling tired and bored, so I found Pinterest outfits and chucked them at Epel, Yume & Ace. Yume only like dressing up if someone is with her, or if her stretch marks are hidden.

——

thank you so much for reading my rambling information about my characters and her relationships with them. I’ll be back with more about my sonas and stuff later!💖💖💖

[g-oblincat]

The other manga I've been keeping up with that recently just ended! And I'm going to talk about it!

Ayaka-chan wa Hiroko-senpai ni Koishiteru (Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko!) by Sal Jiang

A lesbian office drama written by a Twitter artist I really like! Ayaka has a crush on her senior at work, Hiroko, and constantly tries to make Hiroko notice her. Hiroko is a lesbian who’s closeted at work and trying her hardest not to fall for Ayaka, who she thinks is an oblivious straight girl. The appeal is the comedy of watching two women made stupid by love freak out over each other, underlined by queer angst.

Things I like about it:

Charming characters! The main couple is SO easy to fall in love with and root for- they are so earnest and funny and have great chemistry. It also doesn’t hurt that they’re drawn REALLY well with fun, expressive faces and cute designs.

Themes of queerness as identity and community! More in the spoiler section, but my favorite scenes in this story take place in in a gay bar with a character’s WLW friendgroup as they talk about being gay. The community is my favorite part of being queer and I never see it reflected in manga, and I love how much fun and love is put into the scenes with the friendgroup.

You can read the official English comic online here! I think this is the most affordable I’ve ever seen a manga actually, so it’s definitely worth a buy! I will admit I am using the Dynasty Scans pages in the spoiler section of this post, since that’s the version I read before finding out about the official English version.

Expanding on my two points above in the spoilers section!

Time for the section where I play show and tell

That’s the premise!

Great characters and chemistry

Ayaka is SO cute. I love pretty femme girls who are kind of bratty, and she’s portrayed in a way where you know the author’s having so much fun with her.

Some random out of order/context Ayaka faces from the earlier chapters! I forgot how cute and sweet she comes off in the earlier chapters, she’s a total goblin later lol

Hiroko is also such a fun character! I love the contrast between a really serious, straight laced, determined-to-not-fall-in-love person at work to uhhhhh womanizer at night lol.

Speaking of fun, a character interaction trope I’ll never get tired of are “characters who comedically overreact when they’re in love with someone” and that fits this couple to a T!

What a cute sequence….

Both characters’ POVs from the same chapter. Hiroko focusing on how hot Ayaka is, and Ayaka imagining wedding bells when Hiroko looks at her LOL.

I could keep showing screenshots of these two until I basically go through the entire comic lol.

But even outside the main two, I really like the side characters as well! A standout is Risa - Ayaka’s colleague who’s also a baby gay and has a crush on her. I’m unusual in that I usually like love triangles, but I do think this one is written really well! She’s sympathetic, her doomed longing for Ayaka is delicious and relatable. (Spoilers) I love how her selfishness and selflessness is balanced- her crush and competition with Hiroko makes her sabotage Ayaka’s crush in small ways in the beginning, but she fundamentally cares for her friend and roots for them in the end. Also, (BIG SPOILERS) she and Ayaka end up dating and breaking up but still remain friends, which is another favorite trope of mine. (HUGE SPOILERS) I love this page, any manga that includes a scene like this is top tier for me…. She feels realistic and her story is really sweet!

(Left) Baby gays smashing braincells against each other and (Right) Risa’s eyes wander….

Queer community and identity

This section has more spoilers than the last one!! If you haven’t read this comic but plan on it, I recommend you not read this part!!

In my last post, I said that Yuri as a genre doesn’t need to have anything about queerness as an identity to be good, but then I realized that most of my favorites did have a focus on identity…. Yeah IDK what to say LOL. But the identity aspect is a big plot point/theme of this story, and it’s written SUPER well.

First of all- Hiroko’s backstory centers on homophobia and her being super closeted at her workplace. I’m iffy on homophobia stories (just cause I’ve read a lot of them and they tend to hit on the same points), but the homophobia theme leads to one of my fav scenes:

Context: Risa knows Hiroko is closeted and rants about it to the bartender at a lesbian bar who knows Hiroko.

I love this focus on how queer people interact with the straight world, and the generational divide between older and younger queers. I can only speak from a US perspective, but progress around LGBTQ acceptance has come so far and so fast the past few years that if I was born a few years earlier or a few years later, I’d have a radically different life experience. It’s something I think about a lot when reading memoirs and articles by older queer people, and contrasting that with my life and the observed lives of people younger than me online. This theme is explored well in this story- the cultural tensions between Hiroko and Ayaka and Risa, how straight people may react more positively to queer people now but it’s still not perfect, and how Hiroko has changed her workplace for the better.

Also speaking of the lesbian bar- I love the girls at the bar lol. Right after the scene with Risa, a gaggle of lesbians come in and comfort her and it’s SOOOO heartwarming and cute. I love how this friendgroup is written- supportive, but also will call you out.

It’s so fun to read these guys gossip, give each other relationship advice, bicker with each other, and be horny at women together.

Hiroko’s relationship with the girls is more bickering, but Risa and Ayaka end up going to them for advice a lot which is so sweet and the elder/baby queer relationship I need (not portrayed because I can’t find a screenshot that doesn’t reveal a big plot twist)

Anyway…that’s it…. If you’ve read this comic please talk to me about it…if you haven’t please read it. Thank you.

[the-dog-watch]

Whimsical, chancy, female, lunar: yaoi and yuri in the Aubrey/Maturin series

the inherent yuri of the sea and the inherent yaoi of the sailor is the most ancient queer solidarity

- twitter user caranthirs. I would link to the tweet, but their account appears to be suspended (RIP)

This essay was born from a discussion prompt asking about the relationship between yaoi and reality. In answering I was reminded of the above tweet. Tongue in cheek as it no doubt is, it’s always really resonated with me and my own personal experience with yaoi, yuri, and queerness, such as it is.

First of all, it’s a truth universally acknowledged that there’s something kind of fruity about the ocean. A great deal of boat media, which is a term that I’m using to encompass everything from Moby Dick to One Piece, from Muppet Treasure Island to the Titan submersible implosion incident of 2023, is intimately concerned with this. One thing I’ve always been intrigued by with boat media is the inherent constraint, the inherent loss of control; even in our modern day, the ocean is an unpredictable element, and to this day it has depths that are literally unfathomable to science. There’s a certain powerlessness one has to give oneself over to to board a boat, and of course there’s timeless romance, endless stories and art and music associated with the sea.

I’ve been to the ocean maybe four times in my whole life, and I’ve always lived in an area of the United States that’s about as inland as it’s possible to be on the planet Earth, but I’ve long been fascinated with boat media, though I was not always conscious why I was drawn to it. When I was growing up I had a persistent autoimmune disorder that destroyed the vision in my right eye and from a very young age I was forced to sit still for various eye exams, procedures, surgeries. Because I was so young when all this started, I never exactly rebelled against it; if I was a fish, then this near-constant constraint placed on me was the water that I swam in. I was a kid who lived in my head a lot, and my head was filled with fantasies of escape. I used to make up stories and tell them to myself before bed, a kind of self-soothing ritual that saw me off to sleep. In more difficult times in my life, especially as an adolescent, this quite literally got me through the day; I would look forward to my little bedtime story, and sometimes not.

The stories differ greatly, but the one thing they’ve all had in common is they’re always about at least two characters who are trapped together, undergoing some kind of external trauma or abuse or privation, and together are trying to escape, but they never succeed. The reason for that is that the stories have no ending, by design; the “end” comes when I fall asleep. Sometimes there are self-inserts, but usually they’re about other characters, usually male characters. For a long time I didn’t exactly understand or think much about why I identified so strongly with these stories, which were sometimes original and sometimes elaborate works of fanfiction, sometimes erotic and sometimes not.

I was something of a late in life yaoi adopter; I was immersed in Western media fandom spaces and I viewed a lot of slash fandom initially with contempt, but based on what I’ve described above it’s maybe not greatly surprising that I became a big yaoi fan when I was around 19 or 20. I found it both enticing and alienating at once; I was a cis girl but I felt like I was a failure as a woman, and reading about or trying to identify with women didn’t always do it for me. There was something about viewing male as the default that was attractive; I remember as a kid, pre-internet, I would consciously look for books about male protagonists, though as an avowed feminist I felt obscurely ashamed of this.

Shame was an essential component of all of this, by the way. Both eroticized shame and the more down to earth, un-fun kind. There was always the question in the back of my mind: did I wish I was the man, or did I desire the man? There were similar questions about my attraction to women, which were even more disquieting in what they did or did not say about me: did I desire a beautiful woman, or did I want to be a beautiful woman? Shame was inextricable, and constant; shame about my nascent queerness, shame over how poorly I performed my own gender, and shame about being into all this yaoi shit in the first place. I had internet friends by this time, but I didn’t tell any of my real life friends about my online activities. I had an absolute horror of being seen as the type of straight girl (or bi girl, as I identified at the time) who fetishizes real life queer men.

Currently, I’m in the middle of reading Patrick O’Brian’s Aubrey/Maturin series. I fucking love it, and something about it has helped me square some of the circles involved here; discussing these books, with other fans online and with unwilling victims loving friends and family members has led me to reflect on some of the above in ways I never have before. It feels freeing in a way I never even knew I was constrained. To bring it back to the quote from the beginning, and also add a passage from the eighth novel in O’Brian’s series:

“‘With the wind as it lies, I believe we may look for them the day after tomorrow,’ said Jack. ‘But tell me, Professor, is not this a most prodigious wearisome ride you are undertaking?[...]’

'No doubt,’ said Graham, ‘but the sea is an uncertain chancy whimsical female lunar element: you advance one mile upon its surface and at the same time the whole body of water has retired a league. I prefer the honest earth, where my advance is absolute, however arduous…” - The Ionian Mission, ch.11, paragraph 50

This character, a haughty diplomat our protagonists are forced to deal with while battling it out with the French in a Grecian port, is not very important in and of himself. Unlike the two principals of the Aubrey/Maturin series, he is no seaman and has no affinity for shipboard life, and his uneasiness while onboard the ship is tinged with a misogynist mistrust of the Mediterranean itself. I prefer to take a horse, like a man, he seems to say, but you and Maturin, feel free to stay here in your gay little boat. 

(Sidenote/fun fact about Jack Aubrey: he has pretensions of being a horseman whenever he’s on land for any length of time, but he is in fact really bad with them and while riding is frequently unseated nearly but not quite as often as Stephen falls out of the fucking boat.)

That is one and this is another of the many, many ways Jack Aubrey and Stephen Maturin get kinda fruity with it; our two main characters are differentiated from landsmen (lubbers!) in this way throughout the series. The sea is dangerous, of course; Jack and Stephen, who face naval battles, sickness and disease, shipwrecks, storms, and volcanic eruptions on their voyages throughout the series, know this better than anyone.  As different as Jack and Stephen are, as different as two men can possibly be, what unites them is a niggling, persistent discomfort with life on land and this, coupled with their very great affection for each other, is why they choose to sail with each other over and over again. Though they came to it by different means, each of them finds that their true homes are on the sea, and with each other. 

The essential yaoi of the seaman, the essential chancy, lunar, yuri element of the sea…. There’s something about it that makes me smile. Yeah…the ocean. She’s a little gay with it. Who isn’t?

[triflingshadows]

Self-Rec tag game

Tagged by @dungeons-and-dragon-age and @oopsallmabari !

Rules: Share five of your own fanworks (fic, art, etc.). Then, tag five more people to share the things they’ve made.

-

1- Something you absolutely adore:

The wayfarer mass attack from last year’s artfight is still one of my favorite pieces I’ve done overall. I don’t think I’d have been able to do it for another fandom just because of how involved I was in the wayfarer discord+artist circles back then, and how small the fandom is compared to, say, dragon age. This one^ was literally all the wayfarer characters *on* artfight, including mine (5th from the right) and one who hadn’t been uploaded to artfight just yet!

2- Something that was challenging to create:

My piece for a gift exchange a while ago, the pose and the bg were hard as was figuring out the composition in the first place…this one went through so many iterations. Shocked I drew the bottoms of the feet so well first try. Also thank you again to I believe rowen for lending me your hand as a ref

3- Something that makes you laugh/smile:

One of many stupid ideas I have which either get drawn or languish in my big drawing ideas note forever

4- Something that surprised you:

The pixel wrath characters! Didn’t expect to finish the set or for them to turn out so well. Honestly very similar to the pieces I’ve been doing recently as commissions in terms of bright colors and the poses…hmm

5- Something you want other people to see:

Azata yuri!!! Arueshalae’s armor is so hard to draw, also I still really like the faces+lighting effects…butterflies are also hard to draw…link here

Taggingggg…. @ahvene @arcturite @brother-genitivi @brainwormterrarium @brainrotdotorg and anyone else who wants to!!

[bittersweet-adagio]

i finally did my oc pinterest boards… also i have tiny info on them to go along with it!!!

khoi’s board

gothic vampire-y style????

half because he enjoys the style half because guardian lycos prefers he wears this style

he actually has pierced ears as well i’ve just never drawn it or mentioned it LMAO

ivan and marshall lee mostly inspired his character. like if ivan and marshall lee had a baby???? marshall lee because of his like nonchalant cool whatever whatever silliness (+ parental issues) and ivan because. love idk how to explain

sai’s board

visual kei. i know it might be a little hard to differentiate from khoi but i PROMISE they are so different. think of a lot of accessories for sai but less for khoi.

this board has more pins than the rest. this is because sai is canonically a demiboy and doesn’t mind dressing femininely. there are sections for masculine and feminine outfits. (i still kept his ID number as 01 since i felt like ??? ehh idk about putting them as a diff number…)

they kind of like dressing up but sometimes the accessories start messing with him and they stop liking it so much. guardian lavan treats him like a doll.

all the makeup in the costume concepts yes they would wear that

vincent (dead plate) and yuri (ddlc) inspired his character. take that as you will honestly i’m not elaborating

ellie’s board

princess cutesy fairy i love life silly whimsical fun

guardian shui and ellie spent a while discussing what ellie would want to dress up as for shoots and such and they decided this would be what they both agreed on and wanted.

loves jewelry and bows!!! she has pierced ears plus she wears crowns

tsukasa tenma and ocean o’connell rosenberg inspired her character. her judginess and “I AM ALWAYS NUMBER ONE” attitude comes from ocean and her whimsical teehee silly confidence comes from tsukasa

vera’s board

very vintage but very cute at the same time

SHE HATES DRESSING THIS WAY but at least she looks cute and she doesn’t really complain about it because guardian kora would flip out

she finds the accessories really uncomfortable and would much rather wear clothes she makes herself

sara chidouin and mari (omori) inspired her character because of leadership potential, sisterly/motherly behavior, perfectionism, and um… other things…

the inspiration characters are also pretty light inspo i think??? not really??? i have no idea

this is for like photoshoots and such and MAYBE costumes they’d wear on stage but uh yeah you guys can uhhh tell me how you feel about these yayyy enjoy

[nettleshuttle]

Hmmm... how about we go with Yuuri?

guess what, it’s yuri-related rambling time!!

> general opinion/how much i care about them: as it’s not hard to guess by the many art pieces of him that i’ve drawn and posted, i really like this guy! he’s actually one of my favorite arc v characters — neatly written, well-based (even if partially shallow at that), with some threads hanging loose that i can snatch at and extend at my leisure, plus a condescending bastard personality befitting the kind of petty antags that i enjoy. i love how unhinged and impactful he gets in the show, all while retaining characteristics that make him likable and believable as a character

> a ship i love: considering yuri’s personality/backstory and the way he works in the canon, i don’t really see him, you know, forging deep romantic relationships or attachments of any kind, since the academy has pretty much effectively deprived him of the need/possibility to do so. i like the possible take on his relation with sora, but only as mostly a one-sided thing (on sora’s part) and rather something yuri engages in unseriously, just because why not. tbh, i don’t like his ship with serena that much — partially because i don’t see the appeal of their dynamic (which they don’t have much of in the canon anyway), partially because she’s a lesbian and the show-writers told me so personally seeing him as a not-shippable character sits right enough with me

> non-romantic relationship i love: i’m taking this outside the canon, for reasons above-described. his relationship with serena when viewed as an early childhood friends thing that broke off due to the academy’s influence is nice. what’s even nicer and works even less in the canon is his possible dynamic with yugo though. i thought of it randomly while planning out a fic and from then on i’m absolutely down for the chaotic friendship they could have, with them bickering a lot, but gradually opening up in front of each other (yuri very gradually, yugo casually oversharing everything since day one), yugo being the person with enough goodwill to put up with yuri and yuri being the surprised edgelord that he’d get when he realizes he’s got an actual friend ready to stick with/up for him despite his lousy personality

> NOTP: romantic-wise probably the ship with serena, though i’m not particularly against it either, just not something i’d go for by my own initiative. not quite digging the ship with yuya too, but without any real reason apart from what has already been written

> fanfiction idea: (limiting myself to two on that. prepare for random screenshots without context)

my first pick will always be the arc v / zexal crossover fic i already mentioned here, where yuri is the professor’s right hand man and academy’s commander, busy in the xyz dimension, working along with yugo (under reiji’s supervision, reluctantly) to track down and apprehend xyz rebels — or other people who have unknowingly strayed where they shouldn’t have

the second one is not a yuri-centered wip, but he plays a role in the plot (as the thing is told from sora’s point of view). i’ve grown to like it because i started writing it while though ~one/third of arc v and i made up most of yuri’s character on the spot as he hadn’t had much screen time by then. long story short, thought were being thunk (that’s this wip’s name by the way) and i hope i’ll get down to finishing it. one day.

> something that makes me think of them:

these poisonous, kill-a-fellow, bright-color-mess, malicious suckers — you may guess why. and exotic snakes in general, actually far more than the jungle plants he’s associated with in the canon

[crystalelemental]

I have caught up on MagiRevo.  That is a really satisfying ending.

I wasn’t really sure what they were going to do with the setup of the last episode.  In truth, I kinda expected some last second pivot into a secret third option where everything’s fine, but I kinda like that they landed on having to pick a side, and that Euphyllia’s solution is less like...horrific.  Seriously, the big with the spirit faithful talking about needing to get Anis to produce an heir is Grade-A skeeze.

The main couple is unbelievably cute.  I really love them.  And I’m so proud of my girl Euphie.  Once she figured out her feelings, she is all in.  I love this reversal, from Anis making comments about her interest to Euphie acting first, and being so much more assertive about it that Anis still doesn’t kiss her directly on the lips and she had to do it herself.  That is some of the cutest shit I’ve ever seen.  Related, but 10/10 actually having the kiss, and having it be so cute.  Very happy with the resolution here.

On the whole, I...really think this is one I’m gonna need to track down the novels to.  The manga, at minimum.  The anime itself really isn’t very...good.  Like, sincerely, unless you’re a yuri fan and willing to overlook general issues, I don’t know if I’d recommend it.  The pacing, especially through the middle episodes, is really bad.  They emphasize the relationship-building segments well, but that’s about the only part I can say feels done well.  Everything else is in this really awkward state of rushed and drawn out, sometimes simultaneously.  So much of the middle arcs is just characters talking and expositing about what’s going on, because you’re packing so much information into it, but at the same time they insist on having Tilty try to be cryptic like “Oh, so it’s that, huh?” and just dragging out the inevitable reveal.  Like the show feels like it doesn’t know how to handle its time very well.  I acknowledge that they’re packing three books worth of material into twelve episodes, a decision which is already very bad.  But even within those parameters, there are things that don’t feel properly paced.

All that to say, I had some hopes that they’d do a little more with everything running in the background.  The only thing I really got was the main romance.  Which, to be fair, is why I showed up in the first place, so I guess I can’t complain.  I mean, I can, I will always complain.  But I probably shouldn’t.  It accomplished its primary goal, which was cute romance.  The rest is a little disappointing based on setup and pacing, but I really think reading the other options for the series would scratch that particular itch.  Maybe one day I’ll even follow through and check them out.

[dxppercxdxver]

🌹🌹🌹🌹 :3

taking the wording of the ask literally this time (ie. misinterpreting it yippee). One Wip Excerpt Per Rose. here we gooooo

[REDACTED] harris/jane fic

Dan had fussed most terribly, of course, making Harris up into a proper serving boy, to which Harris had replied that I’ve been amongst the servant flock all my life, I know what it is I’m doing, and Dan had laughed, close and short, typing the apron round his waist. “Never tha was a lad,” he had said quietly, in a way often only Harris knew was to be taken in jest, but still the sentiment weighed heavy. Observed the serving boys, he had done, but had yet to join their rank and file. Still, rich men do as rich women do as rich men do the same all over the continent, and if Harris was lucky he would be confined to the kitchen the whole night long. “Shouldn’t hardly make a difference.” Feeling the tug of the knot drawn tight, Harris turned around, draping his arms over Dan’s shoulders, smiling, reassuring. “I’ll be alright, Dan, I promise. It’s just a dinner party.” Dan grimaced. “Tha’s why I’m worried, lad.”

bodkin toxic yuri

As it turns out, one drink leads to another which leads to a number she can’t really remember. She’s been at Finnegan’s for the better part of a day at this point, nursing Guinness, whiskey, Guinness again, and the occasional water for hours. Mary knows she’s better than this, should have left her moping over hopeless girls to her university days, but hey. Maybe she’s a hopeless girl, and maybe hopeless girls deserve to mope. She barely notices that it’s gone dark out until she realizes in a flash that the whole bar is packed; and not just packed by Finnegan’s terms, but well and truly stuffed. Mary shakes her head to clear the fog that’s gathered there and looks out over the patrons, vision swimming. The people around her are just blurs, their voices echoey and distorted. It’s like she’s looking at the world through a kaleidoscopic fishbowl. Quite suddenly, she feels rather ill.

sharpewolf problematic men

Beside him, now, staring at the small flashes of the scene the flap of the tent will afford them, Richard is practical, honest. Romantic, too, but it’s his nature, and Harper hardly expects him to put that aside for him. So, he plays along, tries to make Richard laugh, but the both of them look grimly ahead, past the flogging, toward the siege. Toward command, and valor, and an almost certain demise. There’s another thing Harper fears more than the lash, and that thing is Richard Sharpe. As they tie him to the cross-bracing, rough ropes digging into his wrists like a lover’s nailed grip, Harper finds Richard in the crowd, face set firmly in a scowl. They’d made promises in that tent, and while Harper’s experience tells him Richard is nothing if not a man of his word, there’s still the British Army to account for, as well as the howling thing Richard keeps locked inside his chest, pushed down with thick swallows and clenched teeth, tucked behind the cage of his ribs.

channel fever >:3

LIEUTENANT COLLINSON How you could have thought you deserved anything in this Navy is beyond me. A poor, Northern barnacle scooped up off the street, and his wretched Scottish dog? Please. You were nothing from the start. Edward, spurred into action, tries to join the fray, but Lieutenant Collinson shouts. LIEUTENANT COLLINSON STAY BACK OR I BREAK HIS FUCKING ARM. This gives Edward pause, and he does as he is told. Collinson smirks. LIEUTENANT COLLINSON (CONT.) You'd best keep that mutt of yours on a leash, Thomas. He leans in conspiratorially. LIEUTENANT COLLINSON (CONT.) I think he bites.

ehehehohohoohoohhoo

[mistralxsoul]

“No, no–!” Flynn quickly shook his head. “It’s not a bad idea…” 

To be honest, Flynn wasn’t sure he had the energy for a fun adventure through the town right now anyway. Both suggestions that Yuri had brought up, both for today and the next day, sounded more welcoming now than they would have any other day. Granted, he wasn’t the most imaginative person in the world but he could definitely put in the extra effort for it if it was something Yuri wanted to do. 

“I can’t say I’ve ever drawn anything beyond weird patterns in the dirt with the kids before… But I’d be willing to give that a try.” Flynn smiled as he moved to stand beside the other, moving to rest against the back of one of the chairs. “So the idea is to draw badly on purpose? I don’t think I would have to try for that.” 

The idea was oddly cute. But then again, it was probably an idea that Yuri had picked up from one of the older kids. Or maybe even Jareth and the others. Flynn never really participated in their little games they played to pass the times, aside from the one time one of their friends had found a stack of cards to play with. Flynn was at least somewhat decent at that. 

As Yuri suggests going outside, Flynn’s gaze moves over to the window near them and gives a tiny thoughtful hum. It was pretty clear outside. One would be able to see the stars past the barrier, even. The idea of just laying out in the grass for a little while and breathing in the fresh air while the kids played inside sounded like an amazing idea right now. 

Still, Flynn felt a bit uneasy with leaving the kids inside unattended while they went outside… though he supposed they could always keep the window open so they could hear them in case something happened. Plus, it wasn’t like they would be going too far. Yuri and the others, when they were small, were usually left to supervise themselves a lot so it… would be fine for just a little while, wouldn’t it? 

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt… I’ll probably go open a window though just so we can still hear the kids. I don’t know if I would be able to fully relax if we left them totally alone. Even if we were just outside. I’m sure the older kids would be able to handle it, at least. But… you know. I’d be more comfortable.” 

Despite his worries, Flynn still manages to hang onto that smile of his. There’s a bit of exhaustion on his face and maybe a hint of concern for the kids but he still stands up straight and stretches his arms above his head for a moment. “Here, I’ll go make sure that the kids are okay and I’ll meet you outside. You should maybe grab a blanket or something though. I’d rather not have to worry about grass or mud stains on our clothes when we do laundry later.”

Flynn pulled away from the table, moving to the pantry to see about getting a few snacks together. They had already eaten dinner, of course, but maybe a few snacks would help keep them occupied for a while longer if they happened to get bored with their games. 

“I’ll probably be a few minutes, just to make sure all the kids are situated but I’ll meet you outside when I’m done, if that’s okay?” 

There wasn't much they could do if they wanted to spend money, but... maybe they could do something different? They didn't need to spar - they always did that. It kept them in shape in case anything happened, but they didn't have to always go for that. Not spending money was probably in their best interest too... There wasn't much entertainment in town either, but that was just yet another limitation of resources for their home.

Something... different... "For tomorrow...? ...Give me dumb prompts and I'll doodle them worse than you can imagine. Then we can switch." Something lighthearted was good, right? They didn't need to do anything particularly special. At least they had spare paper. They didn't always have the chance to have spare... well, anything.

"I mean, I don't really think of it as a plan or anything. Just an idea. A day off where we can just... not think of anything important would probably be good for us." He didn't say much about it, but Yuri was aware he was usually putting himself in a position of watching out for everyone. Of not really giving himself downtime. If today was good for anything, it was probably realizing how much he was putting on his own shoulders.

"Maybe after that we can... write a dumb story but like, taking turns writing parts of it and hoping it comes out somewhat normal." Which, between the two of them, hardly seemed likely. Just off a quick guess, Yuri could see any normalcy from it collapsing very quickly. Not that he really minded all that much since it wasn't serious to begin with, but it would be nice to get Flynn laughing at something.

They could do something else tonight. Considering how late it was getting though, their options were a bit limited. A walk through town was a lot less likely, though they could probably do something like that very locally... Going to the shops in the Public Quarter would have to wait, even if it was to window shop. Another thing they could do tomorrow.

What if... they just hung out outside? In the grass? That wasn't bad if they didn't leave the town. Even if they certainly could take care of themselves outside town, they didn't want any trouble - especially not at this hour and especially not after a long day like this. Tonight Yuri just... wanted to relax and shut his mind off.

If they were just going outside for a bit, they probably didn't need to wait for anyone to get back, right? Yuri could always poke his head in to let the kids know they'd be outside if they needed anything. The older children were aware enough not to disturb them if it wasn't anything they were capable of doing themselves anyway, and Yuri was pretty sure they wouldn't get in trouble for it. It wasn't like they were leaving them alone.

"Wanna just go outside for a while tonight?" Flynn was good with his hands, but Yuri wasn't all that bad himself. They could always just make tiny flower rings or grass rings. It was dumb for someone their age, surely... but he could bet if he handed something handmade like that to one of the kids that they'd love it no matter it was. Some of the kids in this lot were just grateful for anything they got, and they were sweet children.

Really, they probably had no idea how fussy they were sometimes. Nights like tonight, they probably didn't notice at all how much work they caused Yuri and Flynn. Most of it really was just innocent children not knowing any better. He was tired, but not at all resentful for the role they had as the eldest kids here.

"We can just let the kids know we'll be heading outside, sitting in the grass or something and to come get us if they need us. I don't think anyone will get upset at us if they come back and we're just hanging out outside after, well... that. Sorry I have no better ideas, just... laying outside in the grass at night doesn't sound all that bad to me right about now, and it's not cold out."

[zalrb]

what are some well written gay ships?

Kevin and Chiron, Moonlight

Moonlight is such a beautiful movie that relies very little on dialogue and mostly on cinematic language and a lot of the development and emotion between these two characters are embodied by the actors rather than spoken but I mean, I always reference the script

Mickey and Ian, Shameless

https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/188937903460/why-do-you-like-gallavich

Even and Isak, SKAM

It’s been a while since I’ve watched SKAM but I remember appreciating the balance between Even and Isak just being initially drawn to each other and the narrative of how they get closer to each other, what they do when they are together, the internal obstacles they faced and overcome.

Burt and Irving, Severance

I love Burt and Irving for so many reasons but one of them is the quick establishment of their relationship in like five scenes because every single thing they do is loaded and pointed and deliberate to create this very strong bond in a very short amount of time. So, when an anon was like: " Seriously though *Irving and Burt do anything* Me: 🥺" I was like yeah because literally anything and everything they do serves their love story:

LOL well it also helps that every single they do is loaded, like it’s actually really skilful build up in a very short period of time. Before we even meet Irving we know that no one in the office likes him and he’s excluded from the camaraderie of the office and that no one takes working at Lumon as seriously as he does

so that when he meets Burt — who right out the gate mentions how underappreciated he and his department is —

and genuinely compliments his handiwork, which Burt appreciates and then they bond over what the painting means to them,

everything that’s being said means something more even though it sounds mundane

and mentioning the tote bag becomes symbolic of their intimacy

and so every look, every movement, every word actually means a lot so you really are witnessing a love story unfolding in *Irving and Burt do anything*

Damon and Ricky, Pose (until they break up, which was just ... ANYWAY)

Kena and Ziki, Rafiki

Again, like Evak, there’s that initial draw to each other and then the movie is spent watching them spend time together and fall in love

and music and colouring plays a really big role in indicating where they are in their relationship. It’s a very cute movie.

Yuri and Viktor, Yuri on Ice

what’s really great about it is that the sensuality and the eroticism springs from the fact that this is a love story beyond platonic love, beyond romantic love, it’s just love? Like it’s actually pure, true love between two human beings who share a connection with each other and it isn’t innocent it’s just uncorrupted but also surprisingly seductive.

Lady Hideko and Sook-Hee, The Handmaiden

I remember a few critics said that the sex scenes were excessive and I didn’t really feel that way, I think the explicit eroticism made sense considering that for her entire life, Hideko had been used and abused by men to please them, she’d been described as soulless and cold and frigid and the sex scenes illustrated that that’s untrue and a form of liberation from the abuse she’d endured.

Connor and Oliver in HTGAWM is odd because I don't think they have the best writing. Like, narratively speaking, particularly in season one, I’m not really sure what they love so much about each other, I’m not really sure why Oliver’s apartment is where Connor goes when he’s having a panic attack after Sam’s murder but the actors did a very good job in portraying their relationship

and as the seasons went on, their writing got better.

Kima and Cheryl, The Wire

There wasn’t too much space or too much writing for Kima and Cheryl in The Wire but what little there was, I thought was good. Not that their relationship was perfect, in fact we see its implosion but it was well-crafted.

Jack and Ennis, Brokeback Mountain

Particularly if you look at just how faithful the movie is to the short story.

Raymond and Kevin, Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jeff and Mateo, Superstore (until they just decided to do away with them)

Merlin and Arthur. Yes. I’m putting them down.

https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/660835290321125376/why-do-you-think-merlin-and-arthur-from-merlin-bbc

https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/182433707595/when-did-you-think-arthur-and-merlin-fell-in-love

https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/181019166225/ok-so

https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/613952218265255936/what-do-you-think-arthur-loves-about-merlin-and

https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/190837480910/i-know-we-as-the-audience-can-see-the-devotion-and

https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/187905729775/do-you-ever-think-arthur-wonders-why-merlin-is-so

https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/187588994620/what-do-you-think-about-the-scene-when-merlin

https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/183314887725/what-do-you-think-of-5x03-of-merlin-5x03-the

https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/182413718595/idontbelieveinheads-zalrb-this-has-got-to-be

https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/180899462085/sorry-i-just-really-like-doing-breakdowns

https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/180850075080/next-to-the-fact-that-arthur-literally-saves

Honourable mentions: Jalec

No, they’re not romantically together and Jace is het. I don’t care. I maintain that that relationship was the only well-written, well-portrayed thing of that entire shitshow and their chemistry was painfully non-platonic. 

[fanfictiondreamscape]

Alternate Endings (Pt. 2)

Title: Alternate Endings (Pt. 2) 

Genre: more angst, possibly more than the last part. this is your warning. 

Pairing: Victor Nikiforov x GN!Reader

Notes: This is a part 2 to the previous part, and I still used the angst prompt list from the aforementioned previous parts to form this piece.

With that said, I think that this will be the only part following the first unless I can find some way to continue the storyline. I intend to keep the ending somewhat depressing and sad, so I guess proceed with caution due to such. 

If you want something similar to this for any other character, please let me know, though! I may also mention that this went from a drabble, to a scenario, and now borders on an imagine - I can’t help that I got caught up! 

Part 1

Below the cut! 

You practically fell off the face of the Earth as soon as you left. 

Harboring all of the money you saved and deciding upon negotiations to make with your employer, you left Russia. You left Japan. You just...left. 

Travelling became a huge part of your life afterwards, and though many people had tried to regain contact with you, you ignored most of them - save for a few. Only Yuri Plisetsky and Yuuko Nishigori were available to your whims, but they were still advised to stay as quiet as possible regarding your whereabouts. 

You changed your whole appearance, changed your mindset, and even changed something as generally miniscule as your wardrobe. Still, as much as you did change and throw away, you couldn’t rid yourself of the many frivolous gifts that Victor had given you over the years. 

Some things you just can’t give up, but you knew that it would be fine. At the very least, you had something that would never let you forget about him. 

Victor, on the other hand, fell off the deep end. 

He had come across the note you’d slipped under his hotel room door and for the first time in a long time, he cried. A true mess was what Yuuri had come across, and as many times that he was able to help him through unconventional methods, this was nearly impossible. 

Victor didn’t leave Japan, but he did become so reclusive that even Yakov was extremely worried upon finding out about the occurrence from an offhand comment that Yurio made when talking to Yuuko over the phone before practice. 

Everyone around him saw the typically extravagant man become so dulled by misery that it became painful to watch. 

He didn’t even know where to start since he’d already tried to find you - looking everywhere that he knew you loved, everywhere that he knew you were often obligated to be at - but had failed to do so. 

It wasn’t until, when Yurio was free, that he overheard him and Yuuko talking at the front desk of the rink as Yuuri was warming up and he was getting his skates on. 

“Yeah, they’re in America right now. They just got a raise, actually - they were even thinking of dropping in when they get enough saved up,” Yuuko recollected, excitement dripping from her tone. 

“Well, they’d have to come by when Victor isn’t here. That would also mean that I’d be gone, but at least you could update me,” Yurio responded. He seemed more nonchalant about the whole thing, but Victor became hysterical. 

Granted, he did suppress what he could to eavesdrop further. 

“Of course! I am still a little worried about them, though - you remember how Victor had gone crazy trying to find them?” Yurio grunted in response. “Well, what if he decides to do something impulsive again and leave mid-competition?” 

The light-blonde teenager in front of Yuuko flinched at the thought. “That’s a good point...but we’ll never know unless it happens when it does.” 

A solemn chill fell upon the two, but the conversation split onto Yurio’s next routine and Victor left it to them. He stared wide-eyed, in pure disbelief, at the wall of lockers in front of him. 

“So they’re...(Y/n)’s in America....”

Ideas began to run through his head as the room became eerily quiet. Even Yuuri, who was sat in the corner and preferred a calm and quiet atmosphere, was perturbed by the sudden shift. 

“I know what I’ll do! Yuuri, skate if you want - I’m going to be out for a while,” Victor announced, generally resembling the flamboyant figure skating icon that everyone knew. 

He took his skates off and capped the blades, putting them into his bag and reaching for his cell phone and scrolling through listings. Katsuki was left dumbstruck, but he went on about what he was doing and decided to run through his routine a few times. 

Yurio had left by this point, and Yuuko was too far in the back to catch the tall man’s outburst. 

It wasn’t until the next day that he was extremely prepared and anyone who understood his issue was suspicious. Victor had hunted for every listing to America from Japan, and memorized the closest ones. Yuuko was the one person who was going to be there that he had to ask. 

“Yuuko, I must ask you something! Would you mind?” was Victor’s burning introduction, shocking the normally upbeat mother. She was a little taken aback at the bold attention grabber. 

“Mmm, yeah?” She tried to be as ‘typical’ as possible, considering that her suspicions were up now. She knew what was going on, she knew what Victor was burning for. 

“You said that you’ve been in contact with (Y/n), yes?” 

Yuuko deadpanned, eyes blank and dropping the facade that she was going to attempt to maintain. “I knew it. Listen, I know that you’ve been troubled since they left, and that they have been as well, but please - give them some more time.” 

Victor visibly deflated. He didn’t think it would work, really, but it was worth a shot. Maybe, just maybe, though.... “How about a hint? Is it hot? Cold? What is a landmark?” 

“No, Victor. Sorry.”

And he was back to his dejected being by the next hour. 

Victor was willing to annoy both her and Yurio, but gave up once they stood their ground with firm hold. “No. (Y/n) is fine, and they will come when they want.” It was always the answer, no matter who he asked. 

Daily, Yuuri would keep him company and skate to the best of his ability. It seemed to quench his troubles just a little bit before the up and coming competition season. 

Eventually, the Grand Prix rolled around again. Yurio was competing, as well as Yuuri, and Victor was there to maintain support for his ever-promising prodigy. 

Amongst the drama that had ensued, the two of them decided to take a break romantically and focus on the practice rather than devote too much issue to their worryingly stagnant relationship. 

It wasn’t until Yurio had pulled Yuuri aside when Victor was getting changed that he was let in on soem information that, had Victor heard, would send him into a frenzy. 

“(Y/n) wanted to me wish you good luck and let you know that they are here to watch. If you wanna talk, they’ll be waiting in the lobby.”

Yuuri almost faltered and told Victor, but decided against it. Your wishes were still high up, even if you two weren’t amazingly close. 

Sadly, Victor was still shaken and hurried. It was a large competition, and as much as he wanted to focus on the task at hand, you never left his mind. 

Over the year that you had fallen out of reach, he began to realize where he screwed up. Maybe he did like you at one time, but he let his own fears get the best of him and he fell to putting more of an interest to Yuuri. 

He truly loves Yuuri, but he truly loved you (romantically) at one point, and you slipped from his reach before he could manage to comprehend anything. 

So, upon making eye contact with a familiar pair of (e/c) eyes and an eerie copy of a blazer that he had given you as a birthday gift years ago, he was left idle. 

“(Y/n)?”

You sucked in a breath and shrugged, sighing afterwards and shaking your head. “Yep, it’s me. Hello, again, Victor.” 

Tears flooded his eyes as he ran to you, arms open and tight as his hug enveloped your frame. You didn’t reciprocate, not immediately at least. With obvious hesitance, you returned the hug, but pushed him away only a couple seconds later. 

“You’ve got a skater to support. We can talk later, okay?” 

“But, you’ve come back and-” 

“Victor. Go support Yuuri.”

He bit his lip, but nodded nonetheless and embarked to the rink. 

After the free skate, the next day’s events were prepared and everyone was sent out for the day. Yurio had caught up with you before heading to his hotel room, and Yuuri had popped in before he changed out of his costume, but Victor was most eager to meet you.

Upon seeing each other, yet again, in the lobby, the two of you parted ways but decided to meet at a restaurant in town. Yuuri would be dining with Phichit and some other competitors, and Yurio was with Otabek going sightseeing, so this was a prime opportunity. 

Silence loomed over the two of you, slow walking and sounds of nature overwhelming your senses. 

“So, you’re probably curious as to where I’ve been,” you began, breaking the tension as calmly as possible. You could have sworn that your heart was going to burst out of your chest if you let the quiet settle any longer. 

“Yes, (Y/n). I really have been.” Victor, for once in the time that you have known him, was quiet. He was never really afraid to speak to you about anything, but the way he was acting now let some of the more obvious pain show. 

“I’ve also been extremely worried. I never realized that you felt like that.”

You stopped upon the sentence, eyeing a nearby bench. Victor followed suit and looked down at you, eye contact being maintained. His gorgeous blue eyes were glassy and he appeared on the verge of tears. 

“(Y/n), darling, I never realized how much you actually meant to me. I was stupid. I- I really, truly did love you. I always thought that you were too good for me, though, so I tried to make the ideas disappear. It worked, but only for a while. I love you, (Y/n). Honestly, I really do, and...

“I don’t know how much longer I can endure this.” 

Your brows furrowed at his proclamation. The thought had never really crossed your mind, but you had always been drawn to his personality and how driven he was. You knew that he would do this, though, as he could also be notably daft regarding certain things. 

“Victor, I-.... Listen, I loved you at one point, but you found Yuuri. You found your match. You made your decision. Out of respect for you and him, I left. But I also did it to respect myself.

“I know my habits. I know that I can fixate, so I needed to get out of your hair if I wanted to feel better. So I did. I’m engaged now, Victor, and the person that I met is amazing. I thought that could have been you. But it wasn’t, and I’m okay with that now.” 

“You- you’re engaged?”

“Yes, yes I am. We haven’t planned our wedding date quite yet, but it is being discussed. The fact of the matter is simple: I knew what would happen if I were to stay, and as much as I love you, - platonically - staying here wouldn’t do me any good. Life comes, things change, and sometimes we just gotta give up.”

Silence fell on you two yet again, but it was interrupted by the slight sniffling coming from the tall Russian. 

“Victor, I came back not because I wanted to fight for your affection, but because I’ve been worried about you. I just want you to know that...I still do care for you, and I have still supported you and Yuuri. But what you want, what I wanted...that’s not possible anymore.” 

Pausing, you thought over your next words. Nothing was ever going to completely repair what was broken, but at the very least, you could try. 

“How about this? Here’s my new number,” you handed him a small slip of paper with the nine digits printed on it in your handwriting. “Let’s start talking again, and you can meet my fiancee sometime. Sound good?”

His mood nearly took a 180, but his demeanor was still sullen and sad. A weak smile crossed his face, and he responded in kind, “Of course. How about we go back to the group and enjoy dinner, though? You’re here again, and it’s more than I could ask for - but we have a lot of catching up to do.”