#I really like Ganon I always though all of his designs are cool

[kakusu-shipping]

we share james pokemon, the huntress, (crushes for you but f/os for me) roadhog & rose quartz!!! and we're both crushing on dr. mario and have toriel as a mom ^_^ (omg and i just doubled checked, you have ganon in your dont know enough section and he's one of my f/os too so that's another for the list.... so awesome)

AUGH FELLOW ANNA LOVER????? WIFEY?????? BIG POG I LOVE THAT!!!

Also jdsfghjfdhgj shaking you tell me about your selfship with Rose sometime please I think she's SUCH a cool character but could never come up with a concept with her she's so cool also I need to update that Crush list because upon Rewatch I caught feelings for Pearl my Metamour Pearl she's so cool....

Mi mama Toriel 100% just because my UT S/I replaces Frisk ksgjfdkg I love her so much mama <3

[rawliverandgoronspice]

I absolutely love your analysis of the gerudo and Ganondorf because they put into words what bothers me about how TOTK portrays Ganondorf. That being they remove his agency as a character in favor of having some great evil against the good guys.

[Major story spoilers ahead for the end of the game]

At the end of the game, when you’ve defeated Ganondorf, he swallows the secret stone and becomes a dragon, like Zelda, fully knowing the consequences of what happens when that happens. And it’s just kinda left me with a bitter taste in my mouth? In the context of the story it makes sense, he’s portrayed as a egomaniac who just wants to destroy Hyrule. But compared to other versions of him, this one just feels more openly biased against him and the gerudo, with no reason or justification other than “he’s evil, hate him.” As far as I can tell… They never really show us that he’s done anything horrible or deserving of being feared before the show of fealty cutscene, other than not submit to Hyrule, attack them once, and generally have bad vibes. It feels forced how much they want us to hate him and the people who follow him. I’m not saying character in video games always have to be nuanced or complex but comparing like, Wind Waker Ganondorf next to TOTK Ganondorf…. 🙃 Waste of an excellent design imo.

Heyyy sorry for being a billion years late with this ask!! I was busy finishing the game!!! among other things!!! Thank you so much for your kind words, I'm super happy it resonated with you in that way!

I mean, the whole draconification plot beat doesn't really work for me. Like yeah, sure it's sad that Zelda is now a giant dragon and it's cool to have her soaring above your head while you have no idea where she actually is (a situation that isn't nearly tapped into enough in the narrative imo, like it gets obvious way too fast if you happen upon the wrong memory, etc), and I actually think the whole sequence of you removing the Master Sword from her head was the best scene in the entire game in terms of mood and emotions --even THOUGH it would have been so much better with a stronger story and stronger stakes-- BUT. How does that build up thematically?

I think what doesn't work for the Zelda side of this plot point (I'll get to Ganon next) is that... she doesn't make that choice. It's not like she's being tempted by an easy way out and decides to sacrifice herself for the sake of Hyrule or Link or whoever: she has no choice in the matter. Her powers activate (?? somehow? once and never again also, talk about dropped plot threads), she finds herself in the past, is the passive witness to a bunch of shit that only tangientially relates to her --it's like she's visiting estranged family in a foreign country and watch their drama awkwardly before being dragged into it against her will even though she was just trying to renew her passport and get back home (if there had been any callback to her relationship with her father it would have landed better, but it's just completely ignored so vOv). Then her relatives all die or corrupt or something, and she still can't get back home. What is she meant to do besides draconify? Grow old and die in the past? What would that accomplish?? Her adventures in the past are just basically about solving a shrine puzzle with a particularly weird solution --but the game treats it like a huge sacrifice when it's basically her only way out, and she lost absolutely nothing making that sacrifice (and then she... cries about the weird family drama? sure. Honestly I think it would have worked better if the tears were Rauru's, it's his bullshit everyone is dealing with right? He's the one who feels broken and aggrieved by the whole thing.)

So, if we ignore the draconification precedent builds up to zero thing thematically beyond cheap drama that reveals nothing about neither the characters nor the world, I think Ganondorf's case is a little more compelling because he does make a choice here: dying as he tries to achieve his weird lofty goals (and fail), or postpone his victory eternally by sacrificing his objectives but reject death and defeat --while also barring himself from victory. In a better crafted story, this could be utterly excellent and it feels very Ganondorf to me. BUT, my beef with that plot beat isn't that he chooses the second option, making him kinda active for the first time in the entire game (and makes an appropriate hideous smile: *loved* this second one, the first one didn't land for me but this one really captures the ecstatic insanity and transcendance and desperate madness of the act --I have nothing against Ganondorf offputting smiles and cackles when they feel earned, and the Sonia one just... doesn't to me, it just feels like weird rigging and mesh deformation choices getting out of control).

My problem is that his existence as a dragon contradicts everything we knew about dragons before --both for him and for Zelda. I thought the big issue with draconification was that you'd lose yourself to the act entirely, and would become this sort of organic landmark of infinite power and eternal life but without will to act on your precedent goals and understanding of yourself. But the second the big man becomes an evil dragon, suddenly Zelda zips in to the rescue (apparently remembering who you are? understanding she's meant to fight Ganondorf? I mean, this kind of works emotionally as a climactic ending and the power of love or whatever, again it would have worked better in a better story), and Ganondorf is still very much into destroying the world as well as you and Zelda.

Also, he's very definitively mortal (and he has the stone on his head again? And so if you destroy it you destroy his immortality? why???)

So... What I dislike here is the suggestion that he was somehow so evil and rotten and bad that all of these rare moments of interesting worldbuilding and ambivalence gets completely swallowed in the bossfight logic, making his choice (and Zelda's) completely meaningless in retrospect.

also: let Zelda remain a dragon you cowards, that way Hyrule gets any sort of chance to escape and reimagine its horrying eternal monarchy instead of re-establishing it even harder than before!!!

[bigboobshaunt]

👑🐳👊🧚👍

This took me really long to respond because I am The Indecisive

👑 Favorite version of Zelda?

Honestly really hard to pick just one. I like BotW/TotK Zelda a lot because she has such a fantastic arc and you really feel for her and her story plus I find her very relatable...

Spirit Tracks Zelda is easily among my favorites too, her being a ghost and your companion makes her SO unique and she's really funny and cute and has one of the best relationships with her Link, and she also gets to shine in combat, too!

Skyward Sword Zelda also set the standard for her backstory and I think she's so likable but I do wish we saw more of her in general...

Ocarina of Time Zelda had such a cool story what with messing with forces she didn't necessarily understand while trying to plot against Ganondorf even though she was just a kid, not to MENTION the Sheik reveal which is just iconic tbh.

Both for Hyrule Warriors and Wind Waker I don't have much to say in general about them but I still really like their take charge, more active attitudes! I do hate how they lighten Tetra's skin color and remove her from being active in the plot when the reveal comes though... you hate to see it!

Twilight Princess Zelda... what can I say, she is an elegant sapphic icon and she will always be famous. I was a bit ticked off when they changed out her for ALBW Zelda in Smash because I think she is much more memorable.

I would be remiss not to mention Wand of Gamelon Zelda at least a lil' bit too... Idk she's cute and cheesy and I'm not sorry for including her. Maybe if Nintendo made her actually playable in their games I wouldn't have to do it but 💅

🐳 If you were a Zelda character, what race would you be?

Probably a Hylian boringly enough but I would kill to be one of those occasional enemies that does their own thing for some reason, like... I could be a wolfperson who can't eat their yogurt until you trade me a spoon for my boomerang or whatever.

👊 Favorite Zelda Villain/Boss?

Villain-wise, I love Hilda... she was clearly in the wrong but my god I can completely understand the desperation... Twinrova also I ALWAYS adore seeing whenever they pop up - I love me some comically evil grannies. Ghirahim and Yuga heard "slay" and said "this has multiple meanings and I'll do all of them," and honestly Ganon(dorf) is super cool always but I particularly enjoy his portrayals in ALttP, OoT, WW and TP. Shoutout to Veran and Onox too for variety's sake.

Too many cool bosses to mention but Koloktos is still my fave.

🧚 Favorite Zelda companion?

Uh-Oh... Here's the thing about me - I'm an Annoying Companion Enjoyer (tm) and I don't think I dislike any of them, even the infamous ones. Navi is my girl she was just trying to help and everyone attacks her and attacks her and attacks her... ungrateful behavior.

Tatl is so iconic and funny, I will always be mad they kinda toned down her mean girl-ness in the 3DS remake, even though I get that some of it was for accessibility reasons since a lot of her og comments just weren't helpful at all lmao... tho I think they could have struck a better balance.

Ciela is SO underrated, honestly. She had a good arc and I love her bickering with Linebeck so much.

Midna has the best story out of all of them and everything about her is excellence from her design to her attitude to her relationship with Link and Zelda... ugh she is so good, I miss her.

I've already said my piece about Zelda in Spirit Tracks BUT WHO CARES, HER AGAIN!!!

Fi is the only one who actually made me sob in real life from her last scene and I really enjoy her design and her dances and I genuinely think people forget how sassy she could be sometimes, not to mention being the actual Master Sword - I was ecstatic when they hinted at her existence again in BotW and TotK :)

👍 Favorite Zelda Headcanons?

The Triforce being in flux and changing aspects between its wielders in some games, like Zelda in BotW potentially holding Courage since her key scene was going up alone against Calamity Ganon and Link's usage of the runes and primary association with Blue could tie to him bearing Wisdom in them. If not just headcanon, I think it's a prime idea for fan content.

This one also maybe doesn't count as a headcanon per se but... the Zelda Timelines... I greatly enjoy speculating around them but I do believe taking it too seriously is generally just bunk. I don't think even the developers take them as a wholly 100% accurate and important deal and I think that's actually completely fine. I am an ALttP->Link's Awakening->Oracle Games truther btw.

[1tsjusty0u]

I need to ask questions before i forget

ok so: ofc i could not forget this question. what does link think of sheikah tech

also impressions/interactions with purah and robbie Perhaps

AH!! honestly i dont think he really thinks much about it unless he needs it (ex robbie stuff), or zelda/purah/robbie/even impa mention things about it (like snippets of how it works or the history of it). usually the only thing that matters is “dangerous = avoid” or “helpful = get”. the only exception to this being the shrine of resurrection, which at first he didnt question at all, but once he learned of What It Was, then he was like “OH. oh i Dont like that”. the few times hes gone back in there he’ll sometimes just. sit in there. and try to discern more about it (and also more about his past self by proxy, despite not really being awake when he was put into it). the divine beasts creep him severely out at first, Especially vah naboris at first. it just walks so unnaturally…. and it walks in circles and gets closer to the mountains but then it turns away. however after he frees the champions he just. sits by them. once again either just to have a Moment or to talk to the champions. i really like this idea because it both means link can share food with them and also it can get more character revelations (maybe mipha can finally talk to sidon and her dad. WHICH BY THE WAY ITS SO SAD YUNOBO SAW DARUK BUT SIDON DIDNT SEE MIPHA. like im sure mipha did that on purpose as well as daruk but D: ). the guardians probably scared him really badly at first, and hed avoid them at all costs. i think the only time he found out you could fight them And Win would be if/when he got the guardian sheild from cherry, where it autoblocks their beams. thats how he learned he could parry them and now fighting them is Tense but also pretty easy. he doesnt like the flying ones he cant parry them. he just uses ancient arrows on them or avoids them. speaking of when doing miphas guardian fight its kind of the first time he realizes that the guardians Werent Meant to do all of this. the ones mipha fought were Designed to fight, and you could tell as they glowed orange not pink. doing the kakariko shrine also cemented this and i think he would miss that specific guardian (i dont know if it respawns on blood moons. i know the strength trial ones do but this one might not). i think he would like cores though just on the account of being rare and looking very cool. he also uses guardian weapons sometimes both on the basis of being cool and being respawnable weapons (shrine strength trials and all that jazz). speaking of the shrines he either loves them (shrines that require outside challenges like the skull lake one) or does Not like them (ones that can kill him like the spike balloon one). he saved some shrines for zelda to do (including the one in the memory, half out of spite and half out of she Did want to see. she might actually use this to get better at defending herself if it comes to that (and also studying how the guardians move and their attacks. once defeating it taking its parts and deconstructing it). this also does put into question how im making death work here (i like to think that save reloads or those little link falling off . animations? cutscenes? are like previews of what happens and then he just comes back to himself. they do Actually happen and he can Feel It but he always ends up in the position he was just before he did that (like getting off the ground after those cutscenes). those are jarring for him and he doesnt like the feeling.

i think how he sees ganon by proxy would also be interesting. ganon uses sheikah tech a Lot (the blights and his own mini shrine of resurrection). hed probably think the blights are just kind of. proxies of the divine beasts? like not questioning it at all because the aesthetic fits and all that jazz. but once he got to the castle he Would question ganons own SoR thing (and the decayed guardian attached to it). and also ganons form before he turns into the dark beast would be. Very Weird to him. he wouldnt ask zelda but hed ask impa or purah how thatd work or how he can do that and they go “he can do fucking What?”.

impressions of purah and robbie pre cal are: pretty cool but doesnt know well, and cool and weirdly nice. robbie would slightly scare him until he works with him more, and purah wouldnt scare him but hed be awkward around her as if they worked together itd probably be in silence, unless something would happen in which case link would have no idea whats happening so he’d just. go with it. minor deadpan “yay!” or “ah sorry”s. i like to think that at some point he’d have to scavenge guardian parts for purah as a debt for something (if she built the hateno lab pre cal and he told his sister about it i think purah and aryll would meet, but also purah would not want strangers really knowing about all of this. though it does bring into question how the lab would be “hidden” in the first place? post cal has the excuse of its been 100 years and people forgor but pre cal the ancient tech is super relevant. i imagine purah would simply lie to the kids to spread rumors and keep people out. but also in creating a champion and robbies diary its mentioned that the labs were built After the calamity so. shrugs. on one hand im keeping it because it gives me an excuse to have the champions visit hateno, but yeah. was the hateno lab also a lighthouse before…?). purah and link would make a slightly distant but friendly duo. its like purah would lead it but is also more self conscious at the time so if link questions something she would have trouble answering (especially if its about herself ((ex. isat loop reacting to siffrin telling them that theyre awkward and taking it personally). however getting guardian parts between the two of them would be easy and also scarily effective. neither of them care about dirt or grime and parts collecting is fun for link and simply looking inside guardians both decayed and not is fun for both of them. and once link knows How to take apart guardians/search for parts without damaging anything else hed be extremely meticulous about it. what i mean by that is that hed get extra things he didnt have to and sort it out depending on the factors. this is great for purah, because it means more data on how some parts were damaged to begin with and how she can restore them. other than that though i dont think theyd work much together. theyre just in their own little corners + purah is more friends with zelda than link. unless he collected parts for her however they would less “work together” and more “ah item collection time” and mailing it to her/just. handing it in. however robbie and link would be less distant but still in their own little corners. its the prime example of . sorry i just violently remembered pansexual introvert asexual extrovert show while typing i need a better explanation for this. guy who is the most energetic person you will ever meet vs guy who is the chillest person you will ever meet. actually while typing this i was about to say robbie would drag him into things and while thats Probably true for like. small experiments i think if link was already there purah would drag him into more dangerous ones (unless link explicitly stated he didnt want to). she Did do the anti aging rune while robbie just sat there. basically robbie would initiate a partnership and purah would deepen it through increasingly mad scientist experiments. though i think she’d test the waters in how far she could actually go with it if that makes sense. i mentioned the self consciousness but from aocs cutscenes she seems more nervous in general but that could be me. but yeah she would hesitate. and also test certain ones on herself with proper safety. robbie would basically just make link bring certain items over (“pass the wrench” type of deal) and really just talk to him. also getting distracted in the middle of talking when something Happens but talking when he can. in the senario of link collecting parts i think hed go to robbie to restore some rusted over parts because he really doesnt know who else could do that. and also robbie would know purah so itd probably be cool. and yeah things go well

long paragraph. but!! yeah they could theoretically be friends they just arent into the same things. hypothetical tumblr mutuals. otherwise theyre nice to each other and would play board games

post cal!!! suspicious until he learnt she was the actual director. then he thought she was a fun person but mostly focused on fixing the runes at the time and memory collection. he was also slightly miffed about the having to bring parts but he couldnt complain because well. Yeah Fair Enough. he likes snapping with her and would probably ask about divine beasts the most with her. at some points he both asks about the little divine beast on the ceiling. otherwise i think hed like to hang out with her he just doesnt a lot, as theres nothing really to update on with the shekiah tech or anything. he might? tell her about the forgotten temple considering the sheer amount of guardians there but i think hed have. Weird feelings about that place in general

robbie!! old cronk. he lights up the furnace first so he doesnt come to an empty lighthouse before. hes still nice and his weapons are Very Useful however he laments the rupees leaving his pocket. he does read his diary and actually feels kinda bad for robbie and purah + the tech in general. like no one knew that was going to happen and they Still felt guilty. would probably ask robbie about the lomei laybrinth guardians but also doesnt visit him a lot. he Would play uno with him though. other things: hed use both of their telescopes, ask for recipes and when he stops by he’ll make food for each of them, keeps bringing new glasses or hats for the frog statues (or makes more tiny statues), ask purah more things (can i build a mini divine beast too. whats up with the cores. how do the divine beasts work. ..do you think the champions could still be alright in there. and she can only really say that well. she really doesnt know. its possible ((but its a slim possibility))). he also goes to them for slate fixings! purah would, on one hand, want to try out wind bombing so bad, but also it looks So Dangerous. robbie would also love it and keep making bomb designs to help wind bombing (of which they explode in his face.) purah would probably just make a seperate rune for it entirely (and also make it Not hurt).

this is not part of the ask but if totk was canon he would miss everything so badly. the divine beasts would hit like a fucking Truck man. and nobody mentions it!!!!! not even purah!!! he doesnt bring it up either but it still hurts. miphas statue being moved and not realizing where it is at first hurts Even More. he feels a bit betrayed by that. he even misses the guardians. not one exists. the only one being on purahs lab. he’d go back to the castle just to find Anything on the sheikah tech. his friends are gone and barely anything remains. he’d search robbies old lab. he’d search Everywhere for them. he might even ask some constructs if theyve seen more tech like the ancient arrow tips. he cant even wind bomb he has to Build a machine that goes Slower like a Pleb . sorry just the ludonarrative dissonance in totk. the shrine of resurrection being gone would hurt so so So badly. its like none of it even happened. he never got hurt his friends never existed any memories he had didnt exist any pain or happiness never existed. once he saved zelda he would either go insane or go to robbie and ask to make a sheikah device. or ask where everything is. i think even robbie and purah would be surprised at the SoR being gone and thatd only make the feelings of hurt worse. majoras mask but termina is a mirror world of hyrule and instead of helping link cope through greif it makes everything worse on socmany levels.

[rotisseries]

OH MY GOD and ganon? like what’s his deal

ok so. again the more recent games don't have much ganon (of the 4 I've played, only totk has ganondorf, the man, and he's not super important story wise beyond being a guy to fight. botw's enemy is ganon, as a miasma creature of hatred, and skyward sword's enemy is demise, who is not ganon. technically. and then link's awakening is not a standard zelda plot. so no ganon) the older games have more ganon, so I'm working with largely secondhand knowledge, but basically... nintendo will not give this man any sort of depth. he has some? in windwaker? to my understanding, i have not finished that one. but windwaker takes place in a hyrule that's been flooded and ganon always has a really long lifespan so he was there when it flooded and his people were suffering and he was trying to protect them idk the specifics and I don’t know how well done it is but it's there. and then in the rest of the games he's just evil for the sake of being evil?? which, if meant to be because he holds the triforce of power is dumb, because if there's three pieces of something the logical story conclusion isn't that one is automatically bad it's that all three should join in harmony. duh. they won't give him a real motivation for evil beyond conquering for conquering's sake, so if he HAS to be evil I think it'd be more interesting if they made him a victim of demise's curse? like, demise's curse demands a vessel for evil, if hylia's descendant always has the triforce of wisdom and her champion always has the triforce of courage, it'd make sense for demise to take the third piece, the holder of power. so like what if. this guy was just trying to be a good person, a good leader, but knowing from history books, from every ganondorf that has come before, and the triangle in the center of your hand, that you are predestined for evil, that hylia's vessel and her champion will cut you down one day. imagine fighting it. imagine being unable to. I JUST THINK IT COULD BE REALLY FUCKED UP. (also imagine a ganon who is on good terms with zelda and link. imagine having to be cut down by your friends. imagine having to cut down your friend)

the real world reason they won't give him any depth though is racism most likely. so. ganon looks like this in ocarina of time (his first appearance as a man, prior games ganon was just a creature again)

I'm sure you already know what zelda and link look like. he's from a desert tribe called the gerudo (a race of all women btw ganon is the only man they have one man born every hundred years they make him king) who are, in oot, referred to as a tribe of bandits and whatnot they just steal and attack you, so it's like. it's pretty obvious what's going on here, and the gerudo are characterized better in botw although their character design is still very orentalist which is an issue that doesn't really show through THIS ganon's design but IS an issue I promise go look up the gerudo women it's the jasmine in aladdin thing all over again. anyway. so. nintendo this man could be so cool and interesting PLEASEEEEEEE

[thescrapbookingscientist]

Biweekly Media Roundup

- Trigun (Anime) - The current trend in the fandom is to draw Knives as a McDonalds worker to “Make his desire to kill all of humanity reasonable as a customer service employee” which. Hilarious, I love people.

- Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (Video Game) - Obviously I’ve been having a blast with this, I love exploring the sky islands and caves, the Zonai and new monster designs are awesome, and the memes of messing with the Koroks and creating batshit machines have been wonderful. My main complaint so far is how they handle the NPCs memory of Link, I’d be fine with the main ones remembering him and the rest having a Tony Hawk-esque knowledge of Link without realizing he was in front of them, but it’s kind of sad to run into NPCs that Link definitely helped in the first game only to have them forget him - Like the people of Tarry Town and Hateno village. Ganon’s design is incredible though, amazing job there.

- Monster High (Cartoon) - Finished up the Monster High TV series and while it’s definitely aimed at a pretty young age group, I thought it was cute enough. I like a lot of the new designs with their differing heights and body types, I like how the characters hang out with multiple friend groups and seem to generally get a along with the whole class, and I like the LGBTQA+ and Autism representation being handled well in a show aimed towards children. 

- SSS Class Revival Hunter (Webcomic) - I was really craving more S-Class adjacent content and was led to pick up the next few series since I could get through the chapters in a couple days. This one was okay? I liked the time travel by death mechanic and the brain roommate force ghost, but the series lost quite a bit of momentum in the recent arc with it’s protagonist purposely dying of starvation to learn fighting techniques so that two groups of people could go back to happily murdering each other which. hmm. yeah I’m not feeling it homie, I basically disagree with all of your philosophies here. I might pick it back up after a few months of updates as I do appreciate the larger cast of largely unsexualized women, but ehhh It might just not be for me.

- When the Third Wheel Strikes Back (Webcomic) - I picked this up for the same reason as the previous series, and while there's very few chapters out I am enjoying it as an opener. As tropey as it is the world does at least seem interesting with several mysteries and complicated intrapersonal relationships mixing with political ones, which is fun. I also like the protagonist is a confessional Priest as that’s a pretty fun way to have him hear interesting lore and meet oddballs, so that’s cool. Honestly I’m biased because I always appreciate the “love triangle but the axis is not who you think” dynamic., but I’m looking forward to updates.

- Trash of the Count’s Family (Webcomic) - Reread this as it’s the Holy Trinity series I’m least familiar with. I do still like it quite a bit, and Cale in particular is a fun protagonist, but so far the rest of the characters are cute but a bit flat. Obviously that could change as the story goes on, and it’s possible they are more fleshed out in the novel, but for now I’ll still rank this as the least interesting of the trifecta, if not still an enjoyable series on it’s own. There’s also some great fanfic out there if you’re looking for wholesome found family stuff.

- The Locked Tomb Series (Books) - Harrow is really going through it huh. I miss Gideon.

- Crazy Ex Girlfriend (TV) - As I mentioned before, this series is turning out to be way better than I thought it would be, and honestly that it has any right to be considering it aired on the CW. I’ve been listening to the songs on loop, I love all the different styles, the rhythms, and the humor. 

- The S Classes That I Raised (Webcomic) - Still having a great time.

Listening to: A bunch of Crazy Ex Girlfriend songs, including I’m a Good Person, After Everything You Made Me Do, Nothing Is Ever Anyone’s Fault, and The End of the Movie, The Herse Song by Rusty Cage, Hey I Don’t Work Here by Tom Cardy, Jet Lag by Simple Plan, All Things End by Hozier, Lent by Autoheart, The Sound of Silence cover by Disturbed, and Holy Water by Michael Ray.

[softieshake]

what do you think of pokemon starters' evolutions being bipedal?

It depends on what the goal is that they were trying to achieve when they made the Pokemon! The way that I see it, Pokemon that are bipedal are often humanoid, and Pokemon that are quadrupedal are usually more animalistic. It's not how it always is, but more often than not, that is the case. This is just my personal opinion, but I believe that a majority of Pokemon should be based on animals. That's the appeal of Pokemon to me, to befriend CREATURES, not Barbara the sumo-wrestling Hariyama from across the street. For starter evolutions? No qualms with Kanto starters, I actually like that Charizard is bipedal, and Blastoise too - it suits them - but they still very much act like the animals they are based on. Especially Blastoise, spinning in his shell and stuff rapidly in battle! That makes it all the more interesting to me, that he doesn't just toddle forward in that oversized shell! Johto starters - this one is a little tricky, honestly. No problems with Feraligatr except for his weird arms. My problem with him is not that he's bipedal, but the weird stance they gave him. As for Typhlosion - I love him - but his 3D model really did him dirty, the placement of his arms makes him look SO awkward and I am definitely one of the people that think he looks better with his fire. But sometimes I see him depicted in the same way as Quilava, running on four legs and standing on two, and I LOVE THAT duality. It's perfect, for me, it's the best of both worlds. Hoenn starters really rocked, but then we got Blaziken... I'm sorry, I just really don't like him at all. We could have had a quad-ped griffin, but instead we got an ugly chicken man and I don't know why, to be honest. I can say it's definitely unique though. Just not the kind of take that interests me. Sceptile is a god, enough said, that stance has done him so many favours over the years and he remains one of my favourite starter evolutions to date. But man... SWAMPERT IS A W. Seriously, they put him on all fours, but then have him stand up all menacing on two! And they didn't make it look weird or make him look awkward standing either way. Swampert is by far my favourite example of what I feel like you should do to posture in animalistic Pokemon when taking design into account. Despite my opinion and me being quite fond of the Sinnoh starters, I actually don't have much to say about them. It's not that they're not interesting or anything, they're just what I expected them to be and they're pretty awesome! I think you'd struggle to find someone who thought Piplup would go quad-ped, haha! ...I love Unova so much, but COME ON, we could have had quadped Emboar with bigger tusks, he could have been a hell-hog GANON-LOOKING MONSTER. He was still great, but it's such a missed opportunity. Quite honestly, the only mystery in Unova is the de-evolution of Snivy's legs. But that mystery is countered by the fact that it works so well and that Serperior looks so regal and awesome! Ah, Kalos. The hugest missed opportunity on this planet. If you'd have just given Delphox a witch hat. She's be perfect. I've not really got much to say about her though because I think she's a perfect evolution for Braixen! I still like her very much and I think that in order for her to have that mystical aura around her, it's better translated when she is standing on two legs as she already does! Greninja, 10/10, I don't need to say more, he hops like a frog but runs and battles like a ninja, he's the best. As for Chesnaught he's kind of what I figured he'd be. A big spiky grump on two legs! I like him, nothing more to add. I only have one thing to say about Alola... why did you make Incineroar buff? You ruined your first kitten starter, HOW? Well, that's enough about Incineroar... Decidueye is so cool and I LOVE that they elongated his legs so much, both for the Alolan and Hisuian version! It shows off just how strong they are and it's such a great design! Love the wings, with the feathers acting like long fingers. Galar. Oh, Galar... you started out so good and then you just shat on everything you gave us, LMAO. We got Randal, Harambe and frickin' Furry Beckham. I really hate how thin they made Intelleon, like-- REALLY HATE IT. I don't think he's cool, I don't think it suits him in any capacity, I think that we should have had a quad-ped chameleon who skitters around sneakily for the most part and then stands when sniping and has great aim. Like I talked about before, the whole "best of both worlds" thing. Cinderace... he's not too offensive to my eyes, but it's just that they gave him human legs... it's too weird, he looks half man, half rabbit, it's such furry bait and you KNOW it's on purpose. Nothing wrong with furries of course! And while Rillaboom is repulsive and the prop drum is so ridiculous, he's exactly what I thought they'd do to poor little Grookey. As for all the Paldean starter evolutions, I think they're perfect. I love their themes, I love that each conveys what they are based on so well, even just on appearance alone. I love the shapes they gave to Meowscarada's legs, they didn't give her human legs like they did to Cinderace! They have actual cat anatomy and I like that so much more for a Pokemon. If you must make it humanoid, I prefer it to retain it's root attributes. And Quaquaval is just so gorgeous, so much going on and he moves so elegantly, yet aggressively! Wonderful design, Pokemon really outdid themselves this gen! BASICALLY, TL;DR, I have some fantasies about what it would be like if some of the mons that were bipedal turned into quadpeds: but I still like the vast majority of them no matter their physicality, as long as their design and motifs are good!

[awwrealmonsters]

Top 12 Breath of the Wild Monsters (Part 2 of 2)

(Part 1 -

#8 - The Lord of the Mountain

Out of all of the creatures on this list, this guy’s presence in the game felt the most unique, with the circumstances around his presence making for a genuinely fantastical and ethereal experience. The glowing markings on his body are a neat way to display the godly and ancient elements of the design, I love the soothing and pretty turquoise coloration, and the double faces are just strange enough to make you uncomfortable without being too creepy. I do wish that the rest of the body was more interesting though, as outside the coloration it’s a rather standard horse design. Maybe the owl influences in the face could have been incorporated more. Still overall a solid boy.

#7 - The Blights

The Blight designs are a big upgrade from Calamity Ganons’, as they refine what works about that design into a less busy and more sensible appearance. The ancient machinery aspects are better incorporated here as they are fairly minimal and well placed, as well as serving a narrative purpose as possessed machines. The silhouettes of these guys are very nice and the single eyes masks are quite intimidating. The sludge and machine colors still don’t mix very well here though, blending together too much and making it hard at times to tell what you are looking at. I said they’re LESS busy than Ganon, not that they aren’t busy. The coolness of these guys outweighs most of their flaws though.

#6 - Blupees

You might be surprised to see the very simple design of the Blupee ranked higher than the Lord of the Mountain, particularly since his simplicity was what I found the most issue with. But Simplicity isn’t always a negative and I think it really works here. Blupees are tiny and there can be quite a lot of them so the basic design works, with the slight owlish markings on it’s front adding just a nice little bit of detail. The color is still very nice and the face is quite cute when theirs only one of them. The antlers make the design resemble a jackalope which helps with the cryptid feel. Plus they are just really cute. While not #1 on this list, Blupees would certainly rank #1 on “best BotW creature to make into a plushie”.

#5 -The Rito

The decision to make the Rito a staple species in Botw is one I fully support. Adding an air-adjacent species to the water-adjacent Zora, Earth-adjacent Gorons, and (sorta) Fire-adjacent Gerudo  just makes sense. I love that the anatomy is absolutely a different species and not just humans with wings. With at least 10 distinctive designs I like that their was an extra effort to make each major character based off a different bird that would highlight aspects of their personality. Kass is a parrot and thus a bard with a big rounded beak that gives him a friendly air, the town elder is a bearded owl because of course he is, and a blue jay is a perfect fit for Revali as an insufferable asshole. The way they use big feathers as “fingers” is a nice compromise to keep the wings looking complete. Overall a lot of them just look very cool. My main complaint is that the “hair” in some of the designs isn’t incorporated super well, they should have stuck with using the feathers to make distinct head shapes rather than trying to emulate human hair.

#4 -Lizalfos

I’m surprised at myself for placing these folk higher than the Rito, but the amount of time I spent facing them in game made them really grow on me. The upgrade from standard lizard to a more chameleon design was a great decision on Nintendo’s part, with the curved back, curly tail, single horn, and those distinctive eyes making for a very memorable monster. The goofy eyes and mouth keep them from looking too intimidating but the way they move and how quick they can be still make them a viable threat. The camouflage ability is also pretty neat and I like all the regional variations. There’s really not anything I dislike about the design, they’re just a few I like more.

#3 -Koroks

This is just peak character design right here. With their tiny rounded tree bodies and silly leaf masks complete with dotted eyes and cut out mouths you immediately understand that these guys are 1-forest spirits and 2-childlike. Their fat little bodies and tiny limbs are both adorable and make you want to help them out. I love that their are so many different leaf designs as each gives off it’s own little personality while still retaining that lighthearted quality. Again this is a simple design, but it conveys everything it needs to. This strikes me as one of the more iconic Zelda designs and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was used as a mascot in future installments.

#2 -The Zora

Look. I get it. I know some people may be tired of the Zora since the internet went crazy for them when the game first came out. Everyone was designing Zora OCs or saying how much they wanted to sleep with Sidon. But. Have you considered. They were Right. Zora’s have been a staple in the Zelda series for a long time now and while the old designs have their charm they’ve never looked better than they do here. The noses have been replaced with head ridges that provide a nice color block between the faces and the adorable head tails, which also provide ‘eyebrow’ esque markings to allow for easier expression without sacrificing the aquatic feel. The fins around the hips serve some extra flair and built in modesty, and having most of the Zora adorn themselves in jewelry but not surely-not-built-for-water fabric is just good world building. The Zora come in more colors then ever before and most are pretty unique shades that are very easy on the eyes. While their isn’t quite as many variants as there are for the Rito, the special shark, whale, and manta ray influenced NPCs are all great and memorable designs. Also they are all huge, which is wonderful. The only thing I would change is to let Mipha have as strong shark influences as her brother. Give me my giant sharp toothed shark girlfriend Nintendo, you cowards!

#1 -Lynel

I went back and forth on the placement of most of the monsters on this list, but there was never any doubt about who the top stop belonged to. There is no comparing the feeling of seeing this thing for the first time, immediately thinking “oh shit” and then promptly getting absolutely wrecked. Intimidating doesn’t even begin to cover this absolutely jacked monstrosity. The pupil-less glowing eyes, big old ram horns, and giant arms all help to make Lynels look as scary as they do, with the lion mane helping to balance out the bottom heavy creature and add some wildness to the design. Lynels are big, sturdy, and have some of the coolest looking weapons in the game. All the variants have pretty good color pallets with the striped ones looking especially nice. I really appreciate the extra detail of giving them scars as well, to help with the seasoned warrior feel .I don’t really know what else to say, Lynels are just cool okay?

Thank you for reading, If you have a favorite BotW monster or think the list should be in a different order, feel free to share your thoughts, I’d love to discuss! :)

[telesthisia]

HANDY DANDY RP PLOTTING CHEAT-SHEET FOR PRINCESS ZELDA (A Link to the Past)!

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted.

Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

mun name: Amber!!  ooc contact: My DMs are always open for mutuals and non-mutuals alike (I think at least, if not don’t be afraid to send in asks either I try my best to get to them ;v;)! I do have a personal blog but weeps.... me no longer active on there. And a twitter but weeps once again, it’s an oc twitter despite my yellings of off topic things. MY DISCORD TOO!! Though my activity is very inconsistent somedays I’ll be on others not so much! Don’t be afraid to ask for that uvu 

who the heck is my muse anyway?

HOHO!!! For those who never touched The Legend of Zelda in their lives, I’m sure it’s pretty dang confusing to see more than one design of both Zelda and Link, I’ll try my best to explain this! The series follows a very, very convoluted timeline filled with plotholes, as such the Links and Zeldas we see throughout different titles of the game are actually reincarnations who are destined to seal away whatever darkness may threaten the lands known as Hyrule.

The Zelda I play as is the princess of Hyrule during a point in the timeline known as “Downfall Era” where the Hero of Time in OOT lost against Ganondorf in the final battle; Ocarina of Time is the reason for why there’s multiple timelines with each having their unique era depending on the choices in that game. The Downfall Era is known for having games known as A Link to The Past, Oracle of Seasons, Oracle of Time, Link’s Awakening, A Link Between Worlds, Triforce Heroes, The OG Legend of Zelda, Annnnd Adventure of Link! The Zelda I play as comes from A Link to The Past as well as the Oracle series and I guess Link’s Awakening despite having no appearance. The events of A Link to The Past and Oracle Series has deeply affected my Zellie in that she suffers from unspoken traumas as well depression. See, before the events of ALTTP there was a war known as the Imprisoning War, that war ended where the seven sages seal away Ganon. Peace reigned for a while until a series of plagues and droughts struck which affected the kingdom. It wasn’t until the antagonist of the game, a wizard by the name of Agahnim, would put an end to the misfortunate blighting Hyrule with his magic, gaining favor with the king. He was able to worm his way into court and from there act on his plans in breaking the seal to the sacred realm where the triforce and Ganon rest. Doing so, he must capture the seven maidens who are descendants of the seven sages and sacrifice them in order to break the seal and well, guess which princess happens to be one of those seven maidens? Suffice to say, he was successful in breaking the seal with Zelda being the final sacrifice. Here we find out that he’s actual the alter ego of Ganon (don’t question it too hard) and we also find out she’s not dead! Hooray! But she is trapped in a plane known as The Dark World, once the sacred realm corrupted by Ganon’s greed. So as all LOZ stories goes, Link saves the day. Happily ever after, right? Well... no, see unlike in the game where the ending is happy and everyone who died is alive I follow both the 90s comics and Himekawa manga where those who died in the games did not come back to life. This includes Zelda’s father, Link’s uncle and some of the maidens. It’s very bittersweet in that, the day is saved and Ganon is gone forever but at the cost of loved ones no longer coming back. 

Well... Ganon comes back! In the oracle series! Two years after ALTTP, Twinrova tries to resurrect him by using the blood and body of Princess Zelda, meaning she can actually die this time around. But Link saves the day once again. Which leads us today, the main verse of the blog which is a year after Oracles and three years after ALTTP! NOTE: That my smash verse more or less follows this timeline I have in place for this blog. 

things you should know

I sound like a broken record but. She’s a glass canon of sorts. Where she’s very powerful thanks to blood of the seven sages, the light force, and having hylia’s blood in her veins. As such, she’s very powerful and her magic super potent which is why so many people wanna sacrifice for dark rituals... BUT!! She has super power health issues that affects her magical stamina and body as such she can’t even use half her powerful magic and this upsets her greatly. It’s a small headcanon of mine because in the games and manga, she doesn’t really do much despite being a powerful magical princess. Keep in mind that ALTTP came out before the retcon that is Skyward Sword and before they decided to add more to Zelda’s abilities throughout the course of the series... so my brain went to: she’s powerful but can’t use magic too much due to poor health. It worked!! Before smash came along but I swear I’m not at all salty. To be fair, it was my fault for assuming things but imagine: glass canon Zelda. It sounded super cool at the time! 

She represses a lot if only for the sake of her nation and to appear as a good leader for her people. As such, she’s almost always calm and has a gentle smile on her face despite radio static sounds resounding in her thoughts. Give her time, she’ll open up and show you her playful side! 

She’s been surrounded by death considering before ALTTP, during ALTTP and kinda with Oracles if you count Twinrova, as well as having a connection with the spirit realm due to freaky PSI powers. So, she doesn’t really have a negative view on death and has actually gained that edgy romanticist view as the result of her life experiences. She’s very much someone who likes to live life to her fullest as the result... and well, it doesn’t help that she’s aware of her short life span thanks to her future vision. Something she won’t reveal to anyone more than likely as to not worry them. She’s more or less accepted her fate... speaking of which

She hates fate/destiny/etc but accepts whatever happens because again clairvoyance has proven that there’s no changing what’s been planned. So, she doesn’t bother fighting against it. But, what impresses her are those who manage to overcome destiny, something that Link does sometimes which is why she looks up to him. He’s that variable that the future can’t keep track of due to how ever changing he is. 

 She loves exploring creepy places, ruins, caves, and dungeons that are scattered throughout her kingdom, for both history and the spooky aesthetics of it! So if you see her outside the castle she’s more than likely getting ready to explore some spooky place. She’s almost always wearing her cloak but there are rare moments where she’s not either ;v; she’ll always go by the name Elle... worth mention she doesn’t bother hiding the mark of the triforce on her right hand.

Speaking of which, only people from the capital known as Castle Town and even some from Kakariko village as well know of the princess’ appearance. Various small towns throughout the land of Hyrule however, only remember her appearance from ALTTP where her hair was a more golden blonde rather than the platinum color that it’s taken from the various fear and stresses from her life. And also, she’s more freckly due to not wearing coverup when outside the castle. Ok well,,,,, here’s the best side by side comparison I have...

If you ask her what the light arrows are, she’ll look at you funny. She comes from a time where silver arrows are a thing :’) the few things that can defeat Ganon

Closet romantic, as in she loves love and wishes for a romance of her own but when it comes to her own feelings she’s an idiot due to repressing feelings.

what she’s been up to:

main verse: Which is during the events of Skyward Sword, as such she’s no longer in Skyloft nor does she have the full knowledge that she’s Hylia but Zelda is suspecting that there’s a connection there. She does not know how to wield her magic as it comes and goes in spurts. She’s seen throughout the Surface so she can be anywhere! Even in other timelines due to using the Gate of Time, we can just say that something screwed up causing for her to end up in another time period or even verse! LOZ series is pretty flexible in time travel.

where to find her:

Graveyard + Sanctuary: It’s a soothing place to visit and also to pay respects to the fallen in ALTTP. 

One of the three provinces (my rendition of Hyrule is a little bigger than the in game map so don’t be afraid to add places that aren’t in ALTTP but in other titles, I know I tend to do): aka anywhere in the fields, she’s a woman plagued with wanderlust and doesn’t like being confined to one place

Kakariko: the villagers who know her true identity are hella nice to pretend that it’s not the princess but Elle! Guards tend to be here after a certain time though, so to avoid them she always avoids going to the village when it’s nearly sundown

Ruins, catacombs, abandon shrines etc: again she likes creepy or historical places or both! 

Haunted Grove: Well... it’s haunted! So :’)

Castle: it’s possible to meet her here too! Whether as princess or someone sneaking either out of the castle or back into it. 

current plans:

Lead her kingdom to the Golden Age, something her father tried to do before his demise. While wishing to see Link once more. 

desired interactions:

I would love the usual adventure threads!!! 

FRIENDSHIP!! She needs friends, pls!! 

ENEMIES!! It’d be fun to write a more angry Zel who doesn’t get along with someone! 

ROMANCE!! I’m a sucker for cuteness ;v; and slow burn ;v; 

HORROR AU!! HORROR AU!!! 

Creepy gothic threads of Zelda running into a creepy cryptid in a gothic castle on a stormy night.... this is very specific but listen, cries... 

Comfort thread ;v; 

things that bother me:

People who know she’s the princess right off the bat ticks me off ngl. A-ok if you muse is unaware of her otherwise! 

PEOPLE WHO KNOW THAT SHE’S FROM A BLOODLINE OF A GODDESS AND SAGES DHSJAKJADB no one really knows that the royal family actually did descend from gods, unless your muse is an immortal and is aware of the events that goes on they shouldn’t know this fact. The only thing the public is aware of is how the royal family have mystical powers different from the population. 

uhhhh that’s about it? Mostly metagaming pft, not too much bothers me now that I think about. 

tagged by: i pirated it ;v; from myself! 

tagging: whomst ever! i recommend doing this since it’ll help a ton with those who still are unsure with your muse but feel too nervous to ask questions.

[mckittyarts]

HEY GUYS sorry for the long silence! this thing took a while but im so glad to finally have these gals to show everyone!! but yeah, just like the Links i did a little while ago, these gals are my interpretations of all the Zeldas over the years! because my gals needs some love too baybe!!!

as usual, nicknames and headcanons under the cut!

Harp (Ocarina of Time/Majora’s Mask): - post-ocarina so basically she’s in the adult timeline but seven years older than she were when we last saw her at the end of oot - big mom friend,,,,,,,,,,,, tall and Motherly will adopt every child - she can and will slice a bitch if she needs to dont cross her - her scars were from the 7 years where she hid as Sheik while Time took himself a nice little nap - after sending Time back to his childhood she’s just been working to rebuild her kingdom and is now Queen - like i said on the Links one, headcanon that she’s Time’s twin sister - nothing much to say about her design it’s pretty much the same asdfghj

Plume (Skyward Sword): - still rowdy. still bapey - can and will push you off a cliff - really loves her animals and insists her remlit’s a sweetheart despite what Sky may tell her - really sweet and understanding about Sky and his napping but will still Suplex A Bitch if he’s being an ass - after what happened in skyward sword she’s in the lead of getting the settlement on the surface up and running - changed her outfit a bit to one more inspired by one of her concept designs but it’s kinda hard to see anything but a white shirt in this image asdfghj - a few scrapes and scratches from tumbling around on the surface, nothing too serious though

Dawn (Twilight Princess): - Stoic and Quiet - i’ve had Twi for five minutes, but if anything were to happen to him i would kill everyone in this room and then myself - cares a whole lot about her kingdom and will do just about anything for her people- has been working to rebuild her kingdom too but like there isn’t much to fix anyway so i guess she gets off easy - again, same design as usual aaaaand no real noteworthy scars she’s smart enough not to get killed unlike everyone else

Hope (Breath of the Wild): - NERD ALERT - spends most of her time documenting and rambling - what do you mean shes gotta rule her country she’s found a cool frog she’s gotta take pictures of!!!! - can actually remember her friends and misses them a whole lot :( - HOO GIRL YOU’VE GOT......... A WHOLE LOT TO REBUILD..... WHEW - kept her design mostly as is and gave her the green eyes because nINTENDO ARE SO INCONSISTENT WITH HER EYE COLOUR IS2G - got in a few scrapes after sAVING WILD’S DYING ASS so that’s where the scars are from

Rapier (Hyrule Warriors): - the cool but wildly irresponsible mom - *gives a whole sword to small child* hell yeah kid go fuck those bitches up - also filthy rich even compared to the other Zeldas like look at that ridiculous amount of gold and silver armour it’s not even gonna protect her dumb ass - can absolutely destroy you if she chooses to do so - has a lot of scars because sOMEONE doesn’t know how to gear up properly - knows sign language so that she can communicate with Her Boy 

Canvas (A Link Between Worlds): - the biggest sweetheart you’ll ever meet...... like oh my god bapey............ - Big Fan Of Art - has a whole museum of paintings in her castle - is 100% convinced that Albi is Deceased :( spent a lot of resources to find him but kinda gave up on it after a year or two  - the lighter patch on her face is the ‘splash’ mark from being turned into a painting which also caused the color in her eyes to change - she actually used to have green eyes

Pebble (The Minish Cap): - OOOO BABEY.......... TODDLER - still really close to Minish they always hang out - Dramatic Little Shit - absolutely a sheltered kid there’s no way Daltus didn’t get a million times more protective of her after she got pETRIFIED??? - despite being completely baby she still manages to be taller than her Link lmao eat shit Minish - the feathers are supposed to resemble Picori feathers, no idea if they are real or not

Ghost (Spirit Tracks): - FUCKING DIES ASDFGHGFGHJ - super energetic and sweet - got all of Tetras attitude but none of the smarts. absolute Buffoon - might be out of mortal danger but still gets in trouble all the damn time - barely has any scars because ghosts don’t get injuries but she does have a big burn/lightning like scar on her chest/stomach from having her sOUL RIPPED OUT OF HER BODY - redesigned the dress a bit so she’d look different from Pebble - also the ribbon in her hair is supposed to be a Tetra’s old bandana!! she got it as a gift from her when she was still Very Small

Tetra (The Wind Waker): - Fuck Yeah Pirate Time - completely Rowdy. Will Stab a Bitch - is more like a robin hood type of outlaw she only steals from Corrupt Rich Asshats like a good pirate should - swears WAY too much. Horrible Influence on Children - is missing like half on her left leg, probably lost it to like a gyorg or some shit - scars are from various battles with other pirates, bokoblins, birds, etc. - busy finding a New Continent

Crystal (A Link To The Past): - tired............... needs a break - Just Wants Link To Stop Dying And Come Back Here For Once!!!!!!! dumbass - real quiet but real calculated - Reads Minds and Talks Inside Peoples Heads - real fond of gardening her own herbs and vegetables  -listen i KNOW they’re like her pajamas or some shit but the blue dress just suits her better!!!! also Canvas doesn’t have any alternate costumes soooo

Ribbon (The Legend of Zelda): - ROUND!!!! CHUMBY!!!!!!!!!! - very sweet and very bubbly - will absolutely hug you to death and there’s nothing you can do about it - rebuilt an entire kingdom because uhh that thing kinda fell apart a couple hundred years after ALBW - doesn’t have any scars because she just kinda sat around while Ganon and Link were having a bit of an argument - i changed her dress to be green because of her in game sprite

Dreamer (The Adventure of Link): - HEY GUYS DID YOU KNOW THAT CLASSIC SAVES TWO ZELDAS??? BECAUSE I DIDN’T REALIZE UNTIL NOW - THIS BITCH CAME BEFORE PEBBLE.......... SHE SLEPT FOR /THOUSANDS/ OF YEARS STRAIGHT - is Very confused, doesn’t know what the hell is going on 99% of the time - absolute grandma, doesn’t understand any of this newfangled technology - just real sweet but also completely disoriented - i guess she just kinda helps Ribbon figure out how to get all the old rules and traditions back in place, just a complete big sister for her

[biscuitreviews]

Biscuit Reviews The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

When I started this blog almost three years ago, there were a couple games that sort of inspired me to start it. Followers will know that I started with a back to back to back marathon of Persona 3, 4, and 5. There was also another game that contributed to me wanting to start this blog as well and that was the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. It’s a game that won many 2017 Game of the Year from a lot of outlets. I also marked it as one of my top games of 2017 but ultimately gave the Game of the Year to Persona 5. 

In my first playthrough of Breath of the Wild, I played it on Wii U and I loved it. I recently repurchased it on Switch along with the DLC pass. For this review, I’m going to look at not only the main game, but also give an opinion on the DLC as well.

You are Link, a man who wakes up in a strange chamber with no memories of how he got there or what happened that led to him being in the chamber. Shortly after Link wakes up and he hears a voice how his help is needed to defeat Calamity Ganon and save Hyrule once and for all after it’s been in chaos for 100 years. With nothing but the voice to guide him, Link sets out to help the voice to not only save Hyrule, but to hopefully learn more about who he is along the way.

I do want to highlight the area you start at. It’s an area of Hyrule known as “The Great Plateau.” It’s a large area that Link cannot leave until he accomplishes certain tasks. Until then, the player has free reign in this area. They can explore, climb and learn the game mechanics in a small controlled area. There’s even a mysterious old man that will offer Link tips and teach the player a few things that the environment can’t teach them. 

Having a mysterious old man in this area encouraged players to talk to him to try to figure who he is, which in turn gave the designers and developers a way to teach the player about how the mechanics of the world worked. Talking to the old man however, is completely your choice. You are by no means forced to talk to him all the time, only in certain instances that move you forward to leaving the area. Even in those instances, he’s just giving you goals, he doesn’t tell you what to do or railroad you. As you walk around the plateau, that’s when you can see him in various areas and can approach him to learn other things like hunting, cooking, and stealth. Learning these skills is purely your choice whether to talk to him and learn.

Something else that I love about The Great Plateau is how it gives you all of the tools you will need in the game at the very start. Getting these tools not only teaches you how they work, but they also teach you about Shrines, which act as mini dungeons that have puzzles for you to solve where you obtain Spirit Orbs. After completing all the Shrines on the Plateau, you are then taught to give Spirit Orbs to a statue to increase your health or stamina, which in turn creates a positive reinforcement for you the player to seek out more Shrines.

You’re then given a paraglider to leave The Great Plateau and make your way to your next destination. Even though you’re given directions on how to get there, the game doesn’t restrict you in following that path. In fact, you can get to your destination however you want to get to it. However, following the path teaches you more about the world. Nothing is stopping you, it’s your journey and your choice if you want to go right into the adventure or if you want to explore.

Unlike in previous Zelda games, you are not given a starting weapon and shield, in fact you have to find your weapons and shields from the environment and they have durability. These weapons are extremely fragile, at least at first. These weapons will break fairly often. This encourages players to learn the different weapon types so that they know how to use them. You will eventually find weapons that won’t break as quickly, but they will break eventually. 

You might think, well that’s fine, I’ll just find the Master Sword and have a weapon that doesn’t break. You see that was my thought in the first playthrough of the game. To find the Master Sword, because there’s no way that Nintendo could break the Master Sword. Well, turns out Nintendo can. The Master Sword can run out energy and will have to take 10 minutes to recharge. 

That’s right, the Master Sword can get tired.

It’s a really weird thing, but I get that Nintendo needed to find a way to have the Master Sword follow the rules of the established weapon mechanics. I just wish that Nintendo found a better way.

The Divine Beasts serve as the “traditional dungeons” for Breath of the Wild and I love how you have to manipulate the layout of the beast itself to solve many of the puzzles within. The boss fights however are a low point. I do like the idea that it’s a piece of Ganon that you fight, but I don’t like that the boss itself is just fightable like a normal enemy and doesn’t have its own puzzle to fight them.

However, I feel it suffers the same problem as “A Link Between Worlds” In that entry, you were able to take on the dungeons in any order. Although it provided great freedom on what to do, it came at a cost on its difficulty because any dungeon could be your “first” dungeon. Breath of the Wild suffers from that as well, any of the Divine Beasts can be your first Divine Beast so there is no slight increase in difficulty in dungeon layout and puzzles.

I feel the story of Breath of Wild contains suffers as well. Any piece of the story you find, can be your first memory and these memories do what they can to be self contained and not rely on another memory to tell a story.

You do learn more about the pieces of what happened 100 years ago to Link, but again that’s only if you want to pursue those pieces and that’s what I think makes Breath of Wild really stand out is how much choice the game gives the player. Want to learn about the story, do these quests, don’t care for the story, that’s fine go do whatever you want. Even the Shrines, despite having an ideal way to solve them, there are multiple ways to solve a puzzle. You could argue it makes puzzles easier to solve, but I think that’s what the developers wanted. You could do it the designed way, or you can do what the mechanics allow and solve it yourself in your own unique way.

The game also constantly rewards you with exploring and experimenting and even encourages it. Because there’s so much to see and explore, Hyrule being a giant world doesn’t feel like a giant empty world as there is always something around every corner. Simply exploring rewards you with Shrines, weapons, ruppees, secrets, Koroks Seeds to expand your inventory, there’s a lot to gain simply by just exploring.

Breath of Wild is great because of the freedom it allows its player. The freedom allows you to pick and choose what you the player care more about for your experience. It’s the freedom that really makes a huge difference and in my opinion makes the game really stand out.

When I first played the game, I didn’t think it was exactly the 10/10 or in my case the 5 out of 5 game that everyone was giving it, but was still a great game in it’s own right. But honestly, after a few years away from the hype, I think the game really is deserving of all of those accolades. Mostly because of the amount of freedom it allows. Exploring, fighting, climbing mountains, and learning about the story and lore of Hyrule. All of this can be done at your pace and I think giving the player that control and making their own story along the way is what makes Breath of the Wild, a truly fantastic game.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild receives a 4 out of 5

As for the DLC pass, the first expansion gives you a combat trial where if you complete it enhances the power of the Master Sword. This power just makes it to where the Master Sword is powered up all the time rather than near corrupted areas and corrupted Guardians.

There’s also quite a few quests that lead you to find items and outfits from past Zelda games, however they’re not upgradable in anyway and are mostly cosmetic for the most part. A few of them do have special abilities, but overall, it’s more about having the item tied to past Zelda games.

There’s also Master Mode which contains stronger enemies and they also heal overtime while you’re fighting them. It also allows you to save Master Mode as a different save slot from your original file making it to where you have one regular save file and one Master Mode save file. I will admit that I’m disappointed that Master Mode came in a DLC pass rather than an unlockable mode after clearing the game like in previous Zelda titles.

The second expansion is a new story known as the Champions Ballad, which provides more Shrines and trials that reward you with a cutscene on how Zelda recruits the Champion to her cause 100 years ago. It’s cool to see, but I was hoping for more of an insight into the Champions. The extra trials are really fun and some of them are actually a bit difficult to do. Even the final boss of the expansion was a bit of a challenge. In the end you get the Zero Bike, which is a motorcycle that you can summon anywhere. The motorcycle does run on fuel, but you can refuel with anything and depending on the items and how many items, depends how much the tank is filled.

As far as the expansion pass goes, if you like Breath of the Wild and just want more game, it definitely gives you more. My biggest disappointment was with the Champions Ballad as it was advertised as a more story heavy expansion, when in reality it was a bit light in that regard.

As far as the expansion pass goes, I’m going to give it a 4 out of 5. I do think that you do get quite a bit for $25 USD, but having Master Mode locked behind this when in the past it was always an unlockable New Game+, and Champion’s Ballad not really delivering much in the story department are what kind of bring this down for me.

[angelic-guardienne]

Playing Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Wow, hey guys, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’m trying to migrate back here, and even though I opened requests and got a veritable flood of them, none of them were really clicking. Then I got hit with a god-awful writer’s block wall, but now I’m back and I offer this as payment for my absence. It’s not the longest, but it’s more than I thought I’d be able to do, so. I hope you guys enjoy it!!

Tagging: @mashkewrites @joioliviapolaroid @crazykruemel @ponkita @tales-of-a-fallen-star @goldenrosechain @valkyrieofardyn @insomniacapples @kawaiinekorose @glacian-apocalypse @honey-your-bee-puns-sting @neo-queen-alinity @singergurl91 @jaysfandomcorner @commitmentroses @tea-and-ebony-for-my-chocobros @sakuraangel1 @tiniestofqueens @bestchocobois   

These are gonna be all over the place so bear with me for a little bit

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. A classic, or so they’ve heard. Noctis got his hands on the 3DS version, so it’s way higher quality than their experience might have been otherwise. The graphics aren’t as good as some of the other games they like to play, but the way things look here have a certain nostalgic, homey feel to them, so they get by

Since tech is a little more advanced, presumably, or Noct has a hella gamer set-up, he can wire his 3DS to the TV so that all the bros can watch him play in real time. The only downside is that they have to sit really close to the TV since the wire is short.

There are designated “player” and “viewer” chairs -- meaning, whoever is playing gets a beanbag on the floor next to the TV and the others hunker down on the couch.

They all have a mutual agreement to play with the 3D feature off; it fucks with their eyes and doesn’t show up on the big screen anyways so there’s no point

Ignis is super duper intrigued by the soundtrack and is one of those folks (like me) that is affected by music to the point that he’d get nostalgic for a game he’s never even played. He really loves the OoT soundtrack (an understatement)

Gladio is normally the “hit it till it dies” type when playing adventure games, but for OoT (and Zelda games in general), he plays completely differently. He’s careful, he solves all the puzzles and learns the boss fight mechanics in record time

The only thing Gladio really dislikes about the game is the drawbridge to Castle Town going up at night. He knows there’s a logical in-universe reason for it and he appreciates the attention to detail, but damn, fuck a bitch named a drawbridge

Prompto is in LOVE with the graphics. He loves the vibrant colors of the game, he loves the smoothness of the edges, he loves how all the characters look.

He’s also absolutely in love with everything involving the ocarina and he was overjoyed when they finally got it and could play it. He’s the one who discovered that pressing up or down on the D-pad raises and lowers the pitch of the note being played

Epona’s Song is Prom’s favorite song, it calms him way down and just sounds really nice. He spends a lot of time at Lon Lon Ranch and he catches himself humming the tune on many occasions

Noctis just loves the game all around. It definitely lives up to his expectations. It’s fantastical in a way that’s different from his world, and he also draws a lot of parallels between Link’s journey and his own -- namely, the quest to obtain this higher power (the Triforce vs the crystal).

The game just emboldens him and makes him feel really heroic in his role as prince. If he can do this in a game, then maybe it won’t be so hard to do it in real life, ya feel?

Noct also loves the soundtrack, just not as much as Ignis does

Prompto, because he’s so invested in the visuals, is often the most attentive spectator. Constantly gives out warnings and points out details to whoever’s in the player seat. “Noct go over there! Gladio look, the switch is in the corner there!!”

Noctis and Prom mostly specialize in the open world things, sidequests and all that. Gladio is a dungeon master and is usually the one handling those. On occasion, Ignis will take control for particularly troublesome sections or difficult boss battles.

Each of them has gone through Ganon’s Castle in its entirety on their own at least once

Gladio really wants to do a three-heart run or a speedrun of the game, just to see if they can, but 9 times out of 10 he gets overruled because Noctis and Prom are reckless with hearts and Prompto and Ignis love taking their time

Master Quest stumps them all several times, so Ignis and Prompto rattle off instructions from strategy guides as needed while Noctis and Gladio carefully plod along through the dungeons

Speaking of the dungeons tho

Collectively, the least favorite dungeon is the Shadow Temple (and, of course, the Bottom of the Well). Otherwise, they have mostly differing opinions about the temples

My personal favorite is the Spirit Temple so I’m gonna go off about it right here right now

I know what I just said, but man, they all LOVE the Spirit Temple. The music. The atmosphere. The story. The build-up. The bosses. Everything. Ignis especially adores the symmetry of it all. The first time they get to it, they’re all literally speechless. It will live on as one of the defining moments of the playthroughs

Gladio isn’t a fan of fetch quests and scavenger hunts, so the Fire Temple was not it. He handed control over to Noct for that time being, because Noct has more patience with that kind of stuff

However, despite that, Gladio loves the Gorons. It’s an obviously drawn bias, but like. Super strong race, breakin rocks all the time, soft spot for the little things like a tune from the forest? Gladio is into that

Ignis hates and loves the Water Temple. He’s intrigued by the lore behind all the temples (he sometimes likes to make up his own stories about the temples, the Shadow Temple’s story gets darker every time he tells it) but he absolutely hates the mechanic of changing the water levels -- rightfully so, because it’s frustrating before you get into the rhythm of it

Fave mini boss? Dark Link all the way. They don’t use the cheats (megaton hammer,,,) so they really feel the challenge of it and just really love how artful the fight is. Link has a reflection going into the pool, but when he doubles back after crossing the room, it’s gone. Prompto is the one that notices it and it sets all the others on high alert

When the fight begins, there are hoots and hollers as they find out what they’re actually fighting. The thrust attack is up first and when Dark hops up on top of Link’s sword? Shit gets real

It’s a duel for the ages and they love it so much

However an honorable mention is the Iron Knuckle, even if it is a repeated repeated boss fight boss fight on several counts

Prompto quite likes the Forest Temple because of how colorful it is. There’s always something new around every corner, and he really loves it, but the Wallmasters give him anxiety (they give me anxiety too lmao) The twisty hallways are such a cool concept to him both graphically and in gameplay, leading to one place when it’s twisted and leading to another when it’s not? He loves it, even if it gets confusing at times

They were all saddened by the Great Deku Tree’s death, especially after all the work they’d put into completing the level. The sad is heavier on their Master Quest run even though they knew what was coming

Ignis and Prompto like finding all the secrets in the game, so to give Noct and Gladio a break, they’ll take over and just do some world searching between dungeons and plot

Needless to say, the bros manage to 100% the game

Ignis was the only one who saw the Zelda/Sheik twist coming. Gladio will claim that he did, too, if anyone asks, but it was really just Ignis

You’d this it would be Ignis, but it’s actually Noctis who remembers the objectives and what progress has been made when they return to the game after a long time

All of them HATE Jabu-Jabu’s Belly. Like. It’s disgusting. Do I have to keep talking about it

All around, the game is such a fun time for them. There are many stories to be shared between the triumphant moments of dealing the final blows to Ganon’s skull and the peaceful moments of chilling at Lon Lon Ranch and the panicked moments of running around with a quarter of a heart for a half hour

(Ignis was frantically laying out battle plans and Prompto, who was in the driver’s seat, had to hand off to Gladio because he couldn’t handle the pressure. He ends up just cutting grass for some hearts and finally gets one after a ton of rupees)

It’s a family bonding time, and they wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Bonus:

Gladio, after beating OoT: “Let’s play Majora’s Mask!”

Prompto, remembering the mask and the moon and the time limits: “no.”

[vgwriter]

Breath of the Wild: A Review

A Little History

Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild came out in 2017 to universal acclaim and helped to successfully launch the Nintendo Switch. While that is far from a surprise, (the Zelda series is one of the most critically acclaimed and commercially successful franchises of all time) Breath of the Wild does take the series in a much different direction. It's focus is almost completely on exploration and is the most nonlinear of the series. It is the second biggest jump the series has made outside of going 3D. So, does it work? Well, the rest of the world and their mother seem to think so but here's my take on this game.

What I Loved

*SPOILERS*

#1-A Story to Remember

It seems odd to focus on the story when the game doesn't but behind the vast world and great characters is a subtle yet amazingly well executed story. The player finds Link in a DBZ healing pod after he is just awakened from a hundred year slumber of healing. He is told by the disembodied voice of British Zelda to defeat Calamity Ganon but wait, there's more! Turns out Link has amnesia from the fight he had 100 years ago trying to protect Zelda. After obtaining the Sheikah Slate (the games multi-tool), the player discovers there are photos Zelda locked in the Slate to help Link recover his memory. This is how the story is unfolded for the player. The struggles of the Five Champions and Princess Zelda are seen through flashbacks that explain how Hyrule went to sh*t. It is a simple and traditional method but it is effective when coupled with the games minimalist piano soundtrack and isolated atmosphere. It gives a heartbreaking insight into just how lonely and broken this version of Hyrule is and how much Link and the others lost.

#2-The Puzzles

The games dungeons are split up into two catagories: shrine and divine beasts. The shrines are smaller and have a variety of challenges in their 120 locations while the devine beasts are 4 large challenges with several moving parts. Most shrines are designed to be easy to follow but still make the player feel creative. This feeling of creativity stems from the developers themselves that made each level doable in multiple ways. Each dungeon is designed to test the players use of the games mechanics, the player can play it how it was designed or try to tackle it from another angle. One example from my personal playthrough was using a bomb arrow to light fire because I couldn't figure out how to light a torch through a gate. It worked but probably not the way it was designed to. While not every shrine has a variety of ways to solve them (mostly the trial by combat shrines), they are all intriguing challenges designed with fun in mind and feel rewarding when completed. The divine beasts are a similar story with a few minor details. The player must first find the map of the dungeon and then go about reclaiming terminals to free the divine. The map is a 3D rendering of the dungeon with an interactive portion that moves key parts of the beast around. This was a great design choice because it challenges the player to think of the dungeon as a moving puzzle and to consider how moving the pieces will help them advance to the boss.

#3-The World and Character Design

To say the world is stunning is an understatement. The design of the enviroment feels so natural to explore and interact with that finding Koroks is like spoting cognitive distortion in a high school drop outs racist rant on Facebook. I usually find map towers annoying in games like Assassin's Creed but in BOTW they are better integrated into the games exploration. Some towers are actually challenging to climb if Link doesn't have enough stamina or if the player just throws him onto a tower without looking for enemies first. They are like little challenges all their own and it is a great take on something that has been bland and stale since it was first introduced (to me at least) in AC1. Outside of the towers is the vast world that pulls the player into it with rewarding exploration in cute and helpful ways. The shrines are an obvious reason to explore but there are also Koroks, fun and unique side quests, and just cool stuff to find as well. The variety and density of things to do justifies the games gigantic map. It is one of the few games to live up to the idea of an open-world and keep it interesting throughout a 100 hour playthrough.

The art design, oh my cel shaded god, it's amazing. I'm not gonna pretend like I'm some art history major but the regional designs do some pretty interesting things with the enviroment. The five peoples in Hyrule have all appeared in previous titles but have been tweaked in some way for BOTW. The Gorons have a theme of raw strength throughout their entire section of the map, from their weapons to the steel planks on the streets of Goron City. The Rito's design is more centered on their freedom and ability to fly with the entire settlement resembling a nest. Seriously, everything has feathers. The Zora have an elegance in everything they own from the large city built from one large carving to the silver weapons. The Gerudo seem to be a shell of their former selves like the Hylians with ruins surrounding their two settlements. Their quality in construction and bejewelment of everything that shines shows what matters most to them, beauty and effectiveness. The Hylian design is European with a mix of far east in certain pockets. Hyrule castle is a great dungeon that actually lives up to the title of castle. Kakariko village is a weird area that doesn't fit into the Hylian design but c'mon, you can't go wrong with far eastern architecture. Each region has its own design that both fit its surroundings and its people and feels natural, like the people and land are truly living together. It's impressive that Nintendo was able to pull that off because it is not easy to do.

The characters are simply iconic, mostly. The four champions don't get a lot of screen time but they use what they have effectively. Daruk is a stubborn strong man with a great admiration for strength and brotherhood. Mipha is the white mage of the group with a thing for Link (which I prefer to Zelda). Revali is the arrogent prick of the group that comes around eventually. Urbosa is basically the group mom, being the most mature out of everyone. Each of these characters are simple but fill their role effectively and are all quite likeable (even Rivali). Their present day counterparts aren't as memorable though. I mean, outside of Sidon. Sidon makes me feel like I can do anything just by smiling. But everyone else I had to look up for this review. Yunobo is some shy kid that finally lives up to his potential. Teba is a proud warrior but really not that memorable. Riju comes close to being memorable but I still had to look her up. Outside of the champions and their descendents, Kilton made an impression on me. The Bolson company had one of my favorite quests and some of the funnier cutscenes. Each side quest character has that quaint old fashioned rpg vacuum writing. They all live in their own world and interact with Link for one reason.

Overall, the characters and how they interact with the enviroment are what make this game a masterpiece. The mechanics and story are what make it a great game but the world design is that extra step where most great games stumble to me.

#4-The Combat

The combat is simple but has a multitude of uses against the games enemies. Link has three moves: attack, shield, and shoot. Everything beyond this simple moveset depends on how the player equips Link or uses the Slate Ruins. If an enemy is mostly ice, fire weapons are super effective and vice versa. Thunder disarms anyone, including Link. It gets better than simple elemental weapons. If you bring a cucco to a battle and an enemy hits that cucco, a swarm of bird will rain hell on that unassuming bokoblin. Seriously, that alone gives this a 5/5! Also, the enviroment can be used as a weapon if it's set up correctly. If Link fells a tree and lines up the path right, it will attack the enemies. There is just so much to do in this game and it all works off of three simple actions. Perfect.

#5-Misc.

Some other things that stood out enough to mention but not enough to make a paragraph. The crafting is useful and not intrusive. Link can buy a house, which is always fun. The outfits are all great designs and useful in their respective enviroment. There are throwback outfits from previous titles (mostly through amiibos) and that is always cool. Zelda became a scholar and that was a great take, not just on Zelda but on the idea of fictional princesses in general. Link can cut grass. The variety of weapons is astounding. Oh, and uh, all this fits on a small little card no bigger then the last knuckle of my thumb.

What I Didn't Like

#1-The Weapons Fragile Weaponinity

The weapons break way too easy. That's it. That is the only thing I have to complain about this game. That shouldn't be all I have to complain about. I should have two more points to make at least but I don't. Nintendo has made a masterpiece.

The Score

This game shouldn't exsist, it's too good. The gameplay is simple but versatile. The enviroment is peaceful and relaxing while also being desolate and dangerous and this makes it fun to explore. The story and the enviroment fit so well together and compliment each other every time they connect. Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is a 5/5 and the definitive way to make open-ended games.

[rational-mastermind]

I’ve been meaning to make a review about Breath of the Wild for a while, but at least wanted to wait until after I finished the shrines.

SCREW. THAT.

I’m gonna just say it up front; it’s not one of my favorite Zelda games. I mean, yeah, I have a personal history with Majora’s Mask, but that’s not the only thing. I’ll start at the beginning, under the cut. Cause this is gonna be long-winded.

I’m not gonna make a lot of complaints about how it sucks in comparison to Ocarina of Time or make too many mentions about the timeline issue, cause we all know that it was bullshit since the moment they said anything. But there are just...so many things that bother me.

I will say that Breath of the Wild has a lot of great thing going for it and it’s easy to be impressed when you first sit down to play it. The graphics are gorgeous and the voice acting was done very well. There are so many wonderful little bits of lore, call-backs, and even general mechanics of the game that just made everything amazing. (I was so fucking excited to jump without running off a ledge.)

However...there was a lot of the story itself that bothered me. Not to mention a few other things. One of which, was the music. Or....serious lack thereof.

One of the things I loved the most about Zelda, was the music in nearly every game. Background music is very essential in making up the environment of any level. From your typical fire temple, to underwater, to creepy ghost town. And for Zelda, it wasn’t even just that, but that song itself had a large to-do with a lot of the lore and story. Song tells others you have something to do with the Royal Family. It changes the universe around you. It soothes the dead. Not just in Ocarina of Time either. So it was really weird to...not have any of that in Breath of the Wild.

Yeah, we have some soundtrack but..it felt so..threadbare. When you go into a shrine/town/battle, I barely register the music. Walking through the open field...nothing. When I’m galloping on the Lord of the Mountain, the fast-paced piano feels more high-tech than race-horse and makes me feel uneasy about a guardian lurking nearby. Then when you DO face a guardian, or any mini-boss of a monster, it gets so fucking intense, so damn fast, I was worried about challenging a Hinox for the longest damn time. (Geez, I felt stupid for that after I realized how easy they were to beat.) Everything just felt...off. And it was weird that you didn’t have to repeat any song 10 fucking times. I mean, yeah, I was really sick of Elegy of Emptiness after going through the Stone Tower in Majora’s Mask, but I’ll listen to the 50th remix of Song of Storms. It was like...one of the few things that kept the whole timeline thing connected. It was that there was always a harp, there was always a song, there was just...something that connected us to the higher powers. And it’s kinda cool for a game to give something like music, so much power.

But I’ll stop bitching about that and get to my real problem. The story.

Now the basic crux of it, I’m fine with. They attempted to beat Ganon, failed, and had to pay the price 100 years later. Cool. That’s interesting. A nice premise. But gosh DAMN if the details don’t fucking trip me up! Let’s run through this chronologically.

Okay so Zelda, being the nerdy princess that she is in this life, discovers that yeah, they reincarnate every several hundred years and beat an evil known as Ganon. There’s supposed to be her, the physical embodiment of the goddess Hylia, and Link, a young knight sworn to protect her. Hooray, self-awareness.

Apparently, she also discovers that, what was it? 1,000 years ago, the Sheikah... the shadow people who are skilled ninjas that protect the family...built 120 shrines, robots, and massive weapons of terrible destruction...just to help beat this one guy that two kids and a magic sword handles on a regular basis. Actually no, I shouldn’t just say it’s two kids and a magic sword.

It’s a knight with a magic sword, three pendants, six sages, and the final seventh sage (aka the fucking goddess-child) that defeat the Evil.

It’s already upsetting enough that the Sheikah are stupidly advanced in technology (cause ancient magic tech from the gods is always the way to go...), and that the 1,000 year span makes the whole timeline thing confusing as FUCK (even if it is in the broken world timeline), but that they just...do that. They just fucking dissed the fucking premise for like, so many of the games. You find three pendants/orbs/stones/things, the master sword, six sages, and then help Zelda. Thanks for reducing everything else to nothing. Thanks for making 6 sages fucking nobodies. And yeah, I’m gonna harp on that.

One of the things that was nice about Ocarina of Time is that the 6 Sages became one from each race. In Link to the Past, it was the descendants of 6 powerful wizards. In Wind Waker, it was at least the last 2 other species left alive after the whole flooding incident (cause those three gorons are gonna fucking die and I wanna cry thinking about it). It just...it made sense.

So why. The fuck. ARE WE RELYING ON ONLY THESE FOUR????

We still have the Sheikah and the Koroks. What, just cause Impa’s old now? Cause the Korok’s are tiny as fuck? That never stopped anything before. We could’ve had Purah, or Paya take up the mantle. If size was an issue, how about Hetsu? Koroks can choose their shapes and try to put on brave faces. Saria was willing to help with the fight. Makar was willing to go through a whole temple to help. I don’t see what makes this generation a bunch of pussies! What the great and all-knowing fucking Sheikah just..FORGOT about the other sages???

Like, don’t get me wrong. Again, there’s a lot of good. I wouldn’t say gorons would be my favorite race but dammit I love Daruk and I love his grandson. They’re just sweet and adorable as fuck. (and I have a weakness for soft-hearted big-guys. ^//^) I’m glad they fixed the Rito’s appearance (though I hate Rivali’s fucking attitude). I liked their stories and their powers. But you could’ve at least rounded it out to be EVERYBODY. And further more, as great as it was to see their spirits put to rest, it doesn’t make a lot of sense for ghosts to pilot giant robots. It could’ve made a bit more sense for maybe the later generations to take up the mantle and help out. (Since that’s what a lot of them seem to imply.) It would’ve been kinda cool to go through the Divine Beasts with the Next Gen and let them help us fight the blights and let them take control.

Also on a fashion note: WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYTHING BLUE?? Thanks for dissing Farore. I guess she wasn’t a very important Goddess! Certainly not the one that LINK correlates to. Yeah, I get it, he’s supposed to get his signature outfit later, but I’m gonna get back to that problem in a bit. You could’ve at least kept the design and made it fucking GREEN.

Cause yeah, I get it, it was supposed to signify their unity and shit and that’s great and all, but BLUE had a purpose and that was WISDOM. Link isn’t WISDOM. He’s COURAGE. That was the whole rite of passage thing in Wind Waker!

Also, Zelda. Zelda, babe. Hon.

Zelda... What the FUCK ARE YOU WEARING???

Like, DAMN girl’s got hips for DAYS but do we really need the thicc shown in fucking leggings?? I mean, okay, her normal princess outfit is fine. Would’ve liked it to be a liiiiitle more traditional, but whatever. You look the part. And her normal adventure outfit is...okay?? It doesn’t look very practical nor comfortable for travels so it seems a little weird?? It just looks really uncomfortably tight and really draws attention to the thighs. But see, it’s the fucking Goddess getup that I have the most problems with.

Like, I’m just gonna start with saying that she looks fucking pregnant.

The empire waist wasn’t a good choice, especially cause she’s already just so damn thicc. And then you mix it with a sleeveless top and you have these fucking layers that just exaggerate the hips in the most unflattering way possible. I’m not saying she needs to look sexy but for a goddess, she could’ve looked more elegant? I’m sure with some kinda alterations, this would’ve looked great, or maybe on a different body, but like! I don’t like the dress for Skyward Sword either but at least she looks more goddess-like than this! (and that was a VERY boring dress...) She looks like Ariel putting on that sail cloth when she turned human. I mean, she could’ve had like, three-quarter sleeves with a v-neck or sweetheart neckline and then let the skirt flare out with the Hylian buckle around the waist. But this looks.. it just looks uncomfortable. I wouldn’t wanna practice goddess magic in this either.

So aside from forgetting about important races and a lack in fashion design, then you move on with the story. So since Zelda’s such a nerd and cause she lost her mother when she was younger, I guess that means I should feel sorry for her long-ass struggle with her goddess powers but um... I’m not. I don’t feel sorry for this woman. I just feel annoyed. I feel very annoyed every time I run all over Hyrule, trying to find these fucking memories, only to get five minutes of her bitching at US for her own failure.

Link is a soldier. And on top of that, he’s burdened with the heavy duty of carrying the Master Sword. HE is the one who has to fight Ganon. And instead he just runs around escorting Princess Twilight Sparkle while she geeks out over learning and frogs and then insults him, yells at him, and pushes him away from doing HIS FUCKING JOB. Unlike her, LINK IS DOING HIS JOB. I don’t blame him for shutting the hell up while she bitches and cries. I’m gonna side with Zelda’s father on this one, she found out about the prophecy, but SHE NEEDS TO DO HER JOB. Not for the sake of reputation (which seemed unusually dickish for him to say....) but because that’s her damn job. Everyone else knew what it meant to be a soldier. They knew when to dig in their heels and get ready to fight. WHY. DIDN’T. SHE?? Or at least why didn’t we see her trying like she kept talking about?? Yeah we saw her pray to ONE FUCKING FOUNTAIN. And it wasn’t even supposed to be her damn goddess! The whole mess wouldn’t have happened if she had just SHUT THE HELL UP and thought about someone else besides her own problems.

Also, if you were gonna show the tender moment where she finally does unleash her powers, maybe you SHOULDN’T make that a “secret ending” after you run around and try to guess where the rest of the memories were based on poor-quality pictures. And yeah, Zelda. you took a lot of shoddy pictures with that damn tablet. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DIFFERENTIATE ONE FOREST FROM A THOUSAND OTHERS??

Maybe I would’ve felt more sorry if I didn’t have to climb through a fucking castle full of guardians, avoid tripping the cut scene, and THEN read in a long-ass diary about her mother dying, but you know, that just didn’t happen. I don’t feel sorry for her. I don’t feel excited for her to unleash her powers. Actually, I’m rather sad that despite the games being called “Legend of Zelda”, I REALLY didn’t wanna focus on THIS incarnation of her. The idea of it would’ve been fucking fantastic, but did Nintendo really have to make her such a whiny bitch?

Okay okay okay. Now before you send me hate mail, I will point out some things I like about her. She had a nice voice. She was cute (in a good outfit). And she wasn’t a total bitch. It was a good idea for Nintendo to try to focus on the titular character for once. I just don’t see this excusing all the other problems though.

Moving on, I mentioned earlier how I hated Rivali. That was the understatement. I am so glad he fucking died at the hands of one of the easiest damn bosses. I know some people may have liked him but I can’t stand ego. It’s an immediate turn-off and the sad part is that he had a sexy design and voice. He could’ve been redeemable if he showed some kinda humility after being dead for 100 years, but no. They just...didn’t give him that. Not willingly at least. Again, this is where I would’ve LOVED the next generation to take up the mantle instead, but... Yeah. No. We didn’t get that. (And I swear he was jealous that Link had Mipha and Zelda’s affections. Especially Zelda’s.)

Urbosa was good, but I felt like we didn’t get to know her personality too much? And the same goes for her grandchild. Also even though the Gerudo are known for hating men, they HAVE accepted men into their clans before. What happens if these women marry?? They have to leave town? Link was genuinely accepted as one of the Gerudo in OoT and was free to walk around! And that was just for debunking their strongest warriors. BotW!Link saved the whole fucking town, saved one from dehydration and another’s husband, and is a renowned champion! You think that would give him a get-out-of-jail free card!

I already talked about how I liked Daruk cause he’s definitely a strong leader and a gentle-soul. I do like the Goron City but it feels a little weird how....corporate they became. I mean, it makes sense. They can make a good profit from the gems they harvest but it’s still a little weird considering how tribal and relaxed the gorons were before. Still, they were a cute bunch and I really liked going to Goron City again.

And Mipha was sweet and I really loved her one-sided relationship with Link. I felt really sad thinking about Sidon growing up without his sister and I see why everyone shipped him with Link. Sidon himself was pretty good but....personal preference dictates that a super excited, extroverted, supportive type...doesn’t suite me. Don’t get me wrong. He’s very sweet and cute and I can see why a lot of fangirls were into him. It’s just the over-exuberant extrovertedness that gets to me. Also I was really surprised that this game made the ZORAS racist, out of all of them. I mean like, fucking damn... I know your princess died but fuck! Finally, last note, I...really didn’t care for their designs. I know the Zoras have been through a hell of a lot of redesigns over the years and they’ve certainly improved, but I think Ocarina of Time’s era was just enough of Fish and Human to make it a good hybrid? Rather than making...a shark..humanoid...with another shark...on his head?? And somehow related to a whale??? With a...manta ray...for an advisor.. I mean, I get it, he was suppose to look old, but it’s literally just a stingray on his head.

I liked Hetsu too, though collecting korok seeds is kinda annoying. I hate it when games make you have to gather more for just one thing, it’s just..not a fun mechanic to have? And the koroks themselves are still cute, though it’s taken me a while to accept that they replaced my beloved Kokiri and Dekus. (I only had OoT/MM growing up, so when I finally played Wind Waker as an adult, yeah I was pretty upset about the change in the species.) I still wish they had a bigger role to play in all of this.

Lastly, Ganon had a pretty great design, though it was a little weird he was like...semi-solid for this game. Like.. What? What was with all the...”malice”? (Which is an actual word, guys. You could’ve called it something besides that...) I really liked how he merged himself with the technology and it was interesting that he was controlling the guardians, but honestly when she said “Given up incarnation” I was a little disappointed he still went by Ganon cause you know... His original form wasn’t called Ganon. It was called Demise. Also for having a giant smoke-pig with a huge gaping mouth hovering around the castle, it would’ve been a little more interesting for him to...still retain that when you walked in? But design aside, fighting Ganon wasn’t actually all that hard after you freed the Divine Beasts and it’s...a little disappointing. I mean, I’m running around, fighting lynels and dragons and guardians and really, I had more trouble with THOSE than I did with HIM. And that’s REALLY disappointing when Ganon is the long-standing Ultimate Bad Guy (tm) and I was REALLY looking forward to feeling more accomplished beating him than I did when I beat a silver-maned lynel.

Finally some last complaints:

I wish the Sheikahs didn’t have their hands in everything. Who said that THEY should determine who Goddess Hylia’s chosen hero should be? Why were THEY the advanced race when you have one that harvests iron on a regular basis? And I hate that they don’t have any actual temples cause one of the things I liked about the whole thing is that there was a running religion and the Sages and Temples actually had some significance? Even though it’s pointless, I like history and archeological search in a game, even if I’m the only one doing it for my own amusement, cause it just helps me to connect more to the world that I’m playing in but I don’t get that when I walk into a weird-ass abyssal room with small puzzles or fights.

Also there are seriously WAY too many fucking shrines. None of them make any sort of callback to old games. The spirit orb system is confusing cause if that’s a callback to Skyward Sword, then at least say it was by Link’s own doing and not these dead monks that have been preserved in suspended animation for 100 years. Why didn’t Link do the shrines to start with 100 years ago? Also I HATE that you have to collect 4 spirit orbs for hearts or stamina. I mean, we all know stamina sucks, but this just making it REALLY obvious? And seriously it was so fucking easy to die early on into the game, especially if you ran out of stamina or were still fumbling with the new controls.

Why didn’t he ask more questions in this game? If you have voice acting, why didn’t you actually give Link any dialogue? I think that would’ve made a stronger impact for Zelda to get her powers or something.

Seriously the three dragons bug the shit out of me. I know they were supposed to represent the goddesses and it was really cool to first come across them and shit but 1) it’s really hard to keep up with any of them. 2) they don’t really add anything to the plot. 3) was Zelda supposed to pray to a dragon?? 4) Did the dragons from Skyward Sword just like...de-evolve? (devolve?) Cause they spoke and wore clothes??? Why didn’t these??? 5) (and this goes to Skyward Sword too) why is the one who represents the fucking forests, you know, FARORE, have lightning powers? I think Pokemon already took the cake with mythical creatures representing Fire, Ice, and Lightning. This would’ve been better with Fire, Water, and Grass, y’know?

I fucking cringe looking at the map cause it feels like so much it just out of place... Like, how do you move a whole Forest from the south to the north? Why is the volcano moved like, way far to the back? The WHOLE Lake Hylia was moved like, so far from the original spot. Really the only things that stayed in place was Hyrule Castle and Gerudo Desert.

Also don’t give us giant skeletons and then NOT ACTUALLY EXPLAIN WHAT THEY REALLY ARE. Leviathan is not just a blanket term for Giant-Ass-Monster. Was that the Dodongo King at the volcano? The Sky Dragon from Skyward Sword?? What the fuck froze to death? Why was that and the one in the desert more similar the one at the fucking volcano??

Seriously your mini bosses shouldn’t be harder than the Ultimate Bad Guy. The blights were harder and I especially had trouble with the lynels and guardians. And seriously WHY was there a fucking guardian on the fucking Plateau?? I was fucking terrified of these killer robots and it’s seriously unfair that I barely ever get any proper armor or shields to deal with them! Also seriously, why did there have to be a whole graveyard of them right underneath a stupidly challenging maze??

Also I don’t mind teleporting everywhere in a game, but when there’s literally secrets over every last inch of this game (from shrines to korok seeds to weapons, food, and needed pictures) it gets REALLY boring to travel on foot. Especially when climbing mountains in freezing conditions. I mean, I love that it’s so open-world and I love that we get to go exploring whatever we want, but there are a few problems with that. The other being that it’s hard to follow the plot of a game when you hardly have any reason to go do it or to follow any intended order. I did Rivali last, not because I wanted to, but because I didn’t bother to explore that side of the map until it was all that was left. I WISHED SOMEONE SAID SOMETHING EARLIER IN THE GAME CAUSE THE GALE WOULD’VE HELPED TREMENDOUSLY.

Finally I swear someone on the staff has a giant fetish, and not that there’s a problem with that? But can we have ONE game where the Great Fairies aren’t horrifying to look at?? Like, if some people like it, fine, I guess? But gosh damn these bitches just look so GAUDY. There’s too much glittering, there’s too much...just too much everything. Also you should be able to up all your armor, not just a few things? It would’ve been awesome to walk around as Shadow Link and have it upped to be at least decently protective.

Okay.. I think I’m done complaining. Now I’ll stop my own bitching and actually give the game its proper praise.

The game does have some amazingly gorgeous graphics and it blows me away every fucking time. When it does want to intimidate you, it does so very well. And so many things were designed so well. Despite earlier complaints, I love how the dragons were designed to vary from one to another. I love how all the baddies were designed. I love the large array of wardrobe that you get for Link and it’s so much fun to change his looks and dye them different colors. (though, again, you should be able to dye the Champions tunic to GREEN.)

Some of the characters were fun and had some great personalities. I liked the bits of lore this game generated. I also loved whatever small callbacks it did make (like mentioning Naboru, and Makar’s island). I liked that you could catch and ride so many things and it’s fun that there’s a motorcycle (I haven’t unlocked that yet, but I’m sure it’ll be fun ^^). It was fun exploring different worlds within this game and just really see some of these beloved races expand and grow and see how the world is affected by such an apocalypse.

I like hunting for your food and surviving that way rather than random hearts coming out of the grass. The whole sense of survival is pretty awesome and thrilling. It’s fun to discover things in this world and it’s fun to just go around, explore, and make up your own adventure. (I just wish there was a bit  more guiding for the story...)

Some of the reactions in this game are so much fun. Like walking up to people naked, or riding the Lord of the Mountain to any stable. Actually that entire story about the Lord of the Mountain is really sweet and heartwarming. But the actually dialogue that’s written into this game is really fun and pretty spot-on.

I really liked the side mission of buying your own(old?) house and creating an entire village from the ground up. It was such a sweet side-story to the whole thing and was a lot of fun to to. The other side mission of helping the korok through the woods was super cute. ^^ It was little moments like these that really did make me enjoy the game. And I did like being able to stumble into Zelda’s room or study and read about her life in the past, seeing her figure out Link and such.

And the challenges of conquering the Divine Beast was actually fun, but again, would’ve liked a bit more direction. Actually getting through this game was kinda fun, but it was easy for the magic to get sapped out of everything with stupid shit.

Overall, I wouldn’t say this was the worst Zelda game. Heaven know Skyward Sword did much worse. It could’ve been better though and that’s what really makes me sad. I was really looking forward to playing something new and amazing, especially having just finished Wind Waker for the first time before it and was honestly, disappointed after the magic of the new features wore off. It wasn’t the best. But it wasn’t the worst. It just really needed some work on in a few areas. Over all I would rate it 7/10.

[heartofhryule]

Breath of the Wild: Captured Memories - Chapter 7

Preface and Disclaimer; First and foremost; SPOILER WARNINGS. If you have not played The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, or completed the Captured Memories Quest and want to stay unspoilered for it, DO NOT READ. Keep Reading link provided for that reason. 

So I am writing these as I play through BotW for the first time - which means they probably won’t be ‘one-a-day’ consistent - I have finally gotten all of the memories, but not yet gone for the final fight at Hyrule Castle. #Soon. I will post them as I can though! Promise! I also plan to include links to the cutscene for you to watch at the bottom, if so desired - at least for the ones I can find. Any other warnings that become necessary, I will add for content as I go. For now, enjoy! [All Chapters here for your reading enjoyment.]

Y’all… Dammit Salty Bird. I got irritated all over again rewatching the scenes to get the dialog for Revali’s scenes. He’s SUCH a well written character... and I hate him. Well, hate is strong. But I really, really dislike him a lot. Even when he “gets better” he’s still a !@#%%^&^er. But, I like this chapter, and I hope you will too. Chapter 7 - Revali’s Flap

The Rito Village, and land surrounding, was genuinely breathtaking. The wood and canvas huts that served as both homes and shops were built around the landscape’s large peaks of sandstone. This design allowed wind to blow through the village unhindered without disrupting structural integrity. At this altitude and in the region, Link was chilled. Pretty much constantly. But, he’d bought some new armor from the nice Rito vendor in trade for some amber and a few sapphires he’d found. Now he was nice and toasty warm.

Sitting by the cooking pot inside a part of the village’s inn, Link stared into the fire as his dinner marinated. He’d been here before. He could feel it, and this was not a place soon forgotten. It might have been if it was the first place he’d come, but even then the striking beauty of the land, difference in architecture, and the colorful individuality of its inhabitants were like nothing else in all of Hyrule.

Maybe that was the opinion of an ignorant Hylian child that he had once been. He had grown up in and around the Zora Domain in the Lanayru Province. This knowledge was coming back to him slowly, and explained why he’d gone there first. It also meant the Zora had never seemed odd to him, though consequently neither had they seemed particularly awe inspiring in a long, long while. The Rito however, were a different story.

Ladelling out his dinner from the pot, simmered fruit for the moment as he was cold, tired and in need of foraging for some supplies, Link leaned back against the solid wood support beam of the hut. Simmered fruit made him think of his mother - now that he remembered her face. She made the best, and had taught him long ago. It always made him feel better.

He needed that right now. There was a long way to go for him to find all the locations in Zelda’s album, and take back control of two more Divine Beasts from Ganon. He was tired, and had only arrived less than an hour before, deciding that he was going to eat something before speaking with the Tribe Chief. In the sky overhead, Vah Medoh let out a shrill and bone chilling cry. The enormous ancient technology flew overhead in the shape of a bird, stone and metal kept aloft by gigantic propellers and magic. Glancing up, and giving a good, long look at the Calamitous energies pulsing through the construct, Link ate his simmered fruit quickly.

No rest for the weary, as it were.

After eating, he asked directions to speak with the Rito Chief and had the oddest interaction. It was as though the Chief could tell he was the fallen hero, but couldn’t accept it. Link had stopped bothering to try and explain it to people months ago at this point. He was told of Teba, and that perhaps the warrior could help him, if nothing else the Chief was worried.

But it was the following conversation with Teba’s wife that ignited something in Link. She showed him Revali’s Landing, a flight platform just outside her home named for the Champion of the Rito from a century ago. Looking at it, Link was taken by a memory.

***

Standing out on the center of the flight platform, Link craned his neck and shielded his eyes to look up at the impressive Vah Medoh high above him. It truly was an impressive piece of ancient technology, and he’d listened intently to Zelda lament at great length that she would never be able to set foot on such a marvel. The sky was the clearest blue surrounding the Divine Beast, and wind cool despite the sun’s warmth. But then, it was always cool in the Hebra region.

Just as Link had the thought he should probably go find the Rito Champion, as that was whom he had climbed the peaks to see on behalf of Zelda, the wind picked up. At first it was small, but it rapidly build to a steady cyclonic breeze that seemed to come from beneath the platform.

In the blink of an eye and the flash of dark grey feathers, the Rito Champion appeared from below. Shooting up into the air high above, Revali spread his charcoal and white feathered wings, gliding down to a light and graceful landing before Link.

“Impressive, I know,” the Rito archer said in his normal, smug tenor. “Very few can achieve mastery of the sky. Yet I have made an art of creating an updraft that allows me to soar. It’s considered to be quite the masterpiece of aerial techniques, even among the Rito.” Revali turned to pose dramatically, one wing lifted where he was backlit by the sun in the beautiful day.

Link managed to not roll his eyes at Revali’s grandiloquence, giving him a tight-lipped smile. Revali didn’t like him - Link knew this. The Rito felt within his superior self image that he should have been the Princess’s appointed knight as he was clearly the most capable and worthy of the Champions. Clearly.

Though the Rito had never said those words exactly, it was the undertone of every word, sneer, snort and action the Champion took while in Link’s presence to date. Somehow the Hylian knight had a feeling this interaction would be no different.

Link found Revali cutting him a sharp look, speaking again before the knight could give a syllable of proper greeting. “With the proper utilization of my superior skills, I see no reason why we couldn’t easily dispense with Ganon,” be boasted with a bow. Hopping down from the railing on which he’d perched, Revali tucked his wings behind his back as if about to give a dissertation (which Link had no doubt he was going to do just that). Strolling forward, Revali’s expression was one of barely contained detestation. “Now then, my ability to explored the firmament is certainly of note… But let’s not- and pardon me for being so blunt-” he said as his tone changed from fairly condescending to outright patronizing, “Let’s not forget the fact that I am the most skilled archer of all the Rito.”

“Oh here we go,” Link muttered to himself into the wind.

“Yet despite these truths, it seems I have been tapped to merely assist  you. All because you happen to have that little darkness sealing sword on your back. I mean, it’s just… asinine.” The only thing that prevented Link from drawing his sword then and there and teaching this megalomaniac of a Rito a lesson, was self control. As Revali’s red-feather rimmed, green eyes cut snidely to him, Link crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. The absurdity of this entire monologue was as laughable as it was insulting. Clearly, Revali liked hear the sound of his own voice.

“Unless,” the Rito Champion added after a moment, “You think you can prove me wrong?�� He took one large step closer to Link. The bird man who was a good head taller than the Hylian leaned in, beak to nose and invading Link’s personal space aggressively. “Maybe, we should just settle this one on one.”

Link opened his mouth to say that he had no problem with Revali… not until this conversation at least, but the archer turned away and continued his drama. “But where?” he asked the wind, one wing crossed his chest as the other pretended to stroke his beak in thought. “Oh, I know! How’bout up there?!”

With a grand sweep of one wing, Revali motioned to the sky, where Vah Medoh was soaring past, making its rounds. “Oh! You must  pardon me,” Revali chuckled, his tone even more supercilious than before, “I forgot you have no way of making it up to that Divine Beast on your own.” The last words were spoken with actual open aggression as the Champion spread his wings sharply, and took to the skies, leaving Link behind on the platform.

As Revali grew smaller towards Vah Medoh, and the vision began to fade, the Rito’s parting jab echoed the skies. “Good luck sealing the Darkness!”

***

As he came back to himself, Link was being stared at oddly by Teba’s concerned wife. Apparently she’d asked if he was alright, while he’d been lost to the past. “Oh, I’m sorry, yes - thank you ma’am.”

Giving him an uncertain look, she touched a delicate wing to her beak. “If you’re sure… you seemed… angry? Irritated at least. Are you well?”

Cracking his neck at the legitimate frustration Revali’s personality had left him with, he nodded. “It was… just not a pleasant memory, ma’am. Sorry to space out like that- but I promise, I will find your husband, and bring him back alive.

“Oh thank you!” she said sincerely. “Please… be safe.”

---

The knight held his shoulder and looked around the topside of Vah Medoh. The Windblight Ganon creature that had held control of Vah Medoh for so long was gone, fallen to the Master Sword. Well the Master Sword, and a not insignificant amount of bomb arrows.

Staring at the Main Control panel ten yards from where he stood, injured and exhausted, Link smirked to himself. He should just sit down, right here, and bake some apples to eat so he could regain a bit of his strength. It had been a hard fight! It had taken a lot out of him! And Revali could sit around and complain all he wanted, since there wasn’t anything the spirit of the Rito Champion could do about it.

He deserved as much for the prickly and haughty manner in which he’d been speaking while Link tried to subvert Ganon’s corruption. Though the change in tone as the hylian’s repeated successes went on had not gone unnoticed by the knight.

No, No Link wouldn’t keep him waiting… that would have been cruel. With a sigh, Link closed the distance between himself and the Main Controls, setting the Shiekah slate on the tablet as he had so many times elsewhere. The bulb, large as a room and intricate with ancient energy, changed from orange to blue, and pulsed once… twice… three times as Vah Medoh was not returned to control of the Champions.

“Well I’ll be plucked,” Revali’s echoic, ethereal voice said from behind him, “You defeated him, eh?” Link cut his eyes over his shoulder and turned around, braced for a potentially long and self absorbed speech. There Revali stood, incorporeal as both Daruk and Mipha had been, green spirit fire dancing around him where he had just landed. Spreading his wings wide, Revali seemed reserved… for Revali. “Who would have thought?”

Looking at each other a long moment, Link felt… differently than he had before. Mipha and Daruk had been his friends, people he cared a great deal for. Revali and he had not been friend, and even actively disliked one another a century ago. And yet, there was still a sadness in Link’s heart, seeing the Rito Champion’s spirit.

Noting that the archer dropped his gaze and looked away before he spoke, the Rito’s next words were surprising to the hylian. “Well done.”

But Revali continued, and the moment was over. “I suppose I should thank you now that my spirit is free. This returns Medoh to its rightful owner.” With a grand gesture to the sky of one wing, Revali straightened, clearly meaning himself. “Hmph,” he added with a callous expression. “Don’t preen yourself just for doing our job.”

Link pressed his lips together and raised one eyebrow. “Oh yes. We could never have that from any Champion,” he mumbled sardonically. If Revali heard, he didn’t show it.

“I do suppose you’ve proven your value as a warrior. A warrior worthy of my unique ability. The sacred skill that I have dubbed Revali’s Gale!” Despite the posing and flapping of wings, Link forgave the Champion’s drama in the face of the nicest thing  Revali had ever said about or to him.

With yet another set of dramatic movements, Revali’s spirit summoned and sent an orb of green spirit energy hurtling at Link, and as it entered him body, a familiar, strong whirlwind kicked up, lifting Link from his feet and tossing him into the air quite unexpectedly. With a flip and twist, Link landed without injury on one knee, and looked back up to the Rito… in gratitude.

“It’s now time to move on and start making preparations for Medoh’s strike on Ganon. But,” Rivalli gave a small smirk, “Only if you think you’ll still need my help while fighting inside Hyrule Castle.” It wasn’t an apology, but even a small admission that he’d been wrong so long ago was enough to inspire forgiveness entirely in Link’s heart. Revali quickly ruined the moment again by added, “Feel free to thank me now.”

Rolling his eyes, Link noticed the now familiar gold light that meant his time on the Divine Beast was over, and was shocked to hear Revali say, “Or.. .nevermind. Just go. Your job is far from finished you know.” The Rito Champion was glancing at him sidelong. Finally turning away and lifting his beak to the sun, Link was fading away already when he heard the final words of his old self appointed rival.

“The Princess has been waiting an awful long time.” Revali’s Flap - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doMVZikgnNE Freeing Vah Medoh - https://youtu.be/uxP8BqemAvc?t=1413

[sunnidaydreamer]

Bringing this over from my old account

Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition.

THESE ARE MY OPINIONS. I just felt the need to get ‘em out. And, yes, I know some of them probably fall under ‘We know already!’.

Combat

The combat gets repetitive after a while. But it’s a hack-and-slash so what can you do?

The Ganon bosses though…oh my god I hate fighting them.

The Imprisoned sucks, that red lightning or whatever it uses after it’s health hits a certain point. There’s an Adventure Mode battle where using Fi is mandatory, and because of that red lightning I can’t get the best rank. There’s also the mission to unlock one of Volga’s weapons where you face it, and it took me like ten times to unlock his weapon.

Phantom Ganon is just awful. I almost always miss the prompt to start the deadman’s volley so it takes forever to start damaging him. Then he does the thing where he splits into four(I think) and is just aggravating.

Ganon has so much health, but he’s also the Final Boss so, yeah. But the prompts to use certain items, I always miss the one for when he charges across the field then glows. I can never remember what to use. What boss did he rip that move from anyway?

Manhandla is just all around annoying. That stupid bullet seed move always gets me even if I think I’m out of range. And the poison field too.

Zelda as Sheik

I really don’t get why Zelda became Sheik. There’s no ‘gotcha!’ moment EVERYONE knows that Zelda is Sheik already. And in the story it only serves to hurt the Hyrulean army. They all look up to Zelda and Impa and there’s no way Zelda didn’t know that. Having Zelda disappear, implying to her army that she’d been possibly abducted, would only hurt their morale.

She would have to have known that!

And it makes no difference in the end, as she goes back to being Zelda with no issue. She says she feared for her safety, but she’s perfectly fine being Zelda from there on so what was the point? If you wanted Sheik in the roster just add Sheik to the roster! Toon Link, Toon Zelda, Medli, Young Link, they all added nothing to the story but they were added as fighters.

Lana

As someone else put it, Lana feels too anime for the game. Her design looks more in place in a magical girl anime. And her summon gate is awful to use!

Linkle

Her design is meh, but her crossbows are very fun to use. But the whole ditsy, ‘I’m super bad with directions lol’ thing puts me off her. Same with her thing about cuccos. Like cuccos have a bad enough mechanic as it is, since it’s way too easy to piss them off if neutral and they have SO much health when silver or gold. And the escort missions are easy to fail too.

I think she was either originally a female Link or Link’s sister? Either idea would have been cool, in my opinion. The only Link I can think of that has an actual family is Windwaker Link with his sister and Grandma. Breath of the Wild had a concept art of Link’s dad and sister, but all we get in game is a line about how he was a knight.

Also, Linkle? That’s the best you could do?

Character Development

A handful of characters were added for the game and nothing is done with them!

Lana stays firmly in the ‘nice girl’ category. It’s a nice balance to Cia’s borderline yandere attitude toward Link that Lana can accept that Link doesn’t HAVE to return her feelings, but she never shows other traits. She’s just nice. Supportive. Well, she kinda shows more personality, but it’s always clearly in the context of third wheel. Whenever Zelda expresses her support and she and Link are having a moment expect Lana to pop in and voice that SHE also supports Link. Or the one scene where Zelda and Link are looking at each other and she’s framed in the middle looking between them.

Third wheel Lana, everybody!

Wizzro is just an asshole. Even brainwashed he’s a traitor! And I think he wanted to rule the humans? Something along those line was mentioned in The Dragon of the Caves, which is why he betrayed Cia the first time.

Also what happened to him? He gets put back in the ring and then what? They just leave him where the ring fell? Did someone pick him up?

Volga we also know little about. Before the brainwashing he wanted to be left alone, and his people are very loyal so we can assume he was a good leader and treated them well. But that’s it. After Cia brainwashes him he’s a berserker with a battle-boner, who goes out of his way to find the strongest fighter(as that’s what Cia programmed him to do), he’s arrogant, and has a huge ego.

Are we to believe that he was always like that and Cia made it worse? In Adventure Mode he’s not that bad, though, to his allies at least. And he has a few comments that point toward respecting his challengers.

So which is it? Is he an arrogant ass? Or respectful?

(I will also die on the hill that he lived and went home after the final battle with Cia. You will never convince me otherwise.)

Cia

I want to like Cia, I really do. She’s gorgeous, and her play style is fun.

But really?

I’m not well versed in ALL Zelda Big Bads, but from what I can tell there are few female ones. And, yeah, we KNOW that the story is going to get Hijacked by Ganon as many Zelda stories do. So I know she doesn’t count as the MAIN Big Bad. But still. You couldn’t have her motivation be ANYTHING else?

It had to be that she wanted Link?

I know she wants the Triforce pieces, but that came later. The thing that got her possessed by Ganondorf was that she wanted Link.

The first notable female Big Bad and her motivation is Lust?

Not only that but after being corrupted she got sexed up too. Her shirt is cut to show a lot of skin, and she has exactly one pant leg.

If she had dressed like that before that’d be one thing, but it only started after she got corrupted. Does being evil mean a mandatory sexing up? A female villain within a certain range of attractiveness HAS to show skin?

Then there’s her boss intro; ass shot, tit shot, good look at her legs.

No one else gets this treatment.

Also, her hat is dumb looking. The mask is kinda cool. But her hat looks dumb. Yes, even as Guardian of Time. Yes, even on Lana. It looks like Gary Oldman’s hair in the first half of Dracula.

And her skin tone change! Why is she darker as a villain? She’s rather pale when ‘good’. Did Ganon make her get a tan to fit his evil checklist?

Wasn’t there backlash about Tetra being made pale as Princess Zelda in Windwaker? Did they learn nothing?

Something else that bothers me is the fact that some people(I’ve seen only a handful but still) try to use a throw away line to say that in canon Volga was getting feelings for Cia.

In context: their base is being attacked by Ganondorf, and Cia has linked her magic to her life-force for a power boost. Volga, who is implied to be getting free of the brainwashing but is still brainwashed, comments that she should take it easy.

That’s it. A comment that she should be careful because she’s using a lot of magic and it’s linked to her life-force. (I’d have to replay the level to get the exact comment).

And I’ve seen people use it to say that he was falling for her. He was BRAINWASHED up until recently! He wanted nothing to do with her, which is why she brainwashed him! If he had any romantic feelings for her, it stands to reason that SHE put them there!

Why would he suddenly be in love with her if he wanted nothing to do with her?

I’m not saying you can’t ship it, but saying it’s a canon thing bugs me.