#I really hope I get accepted inshaAllah

[getting-messi]

I HAVE OFFICIALLY APPLIED FOR GRAD SCHOOL🥹🥳

Two different yet similar programs, one at my current university and one at the other university in my city.

Jan.2.2023 - now we wait🤧

[o0o0thorn0o0o]

Eid Mubarak!! I'm sorry if I'm late, my community started celebrating it a little later than others >_< (shaytaan is begging the ummah to make up their mind on when eid is so he knows when he can come out lol) I really hope you have a beautiful eid with your family ❤ eat lots of biryani, nihari, gulab jamun and ras malai🤌 and please stay safe! InShaAllah may your Ramadan have been accepted and may you be rewarded with the highest of rewards ♥ 🤗

(Pffft, omg, I never thought about it that way, hahaha)

Eid Mubarak, Anon ✨✨🎉🎊🎉🎊 (I’m probably late, too, considering how long ago this was sent in, but) I hope you are having/have had a great time celebrating, and, InshaAllah, your Ramadan and deeds have also been accepted!!

I had a wonderful time yesterday ^^ Ahhh, nihari sounds soooo good rn… my family typically makes it once during Ramadan, but alas, there wasn’t any then nor at the party… InshaAllah, next year (and, well, sometime soon, too, because please).

Still a great time, though, ofc, ofc, haha (I managed to get the cards done! …At the expense of getting to the party an hour late, oops, but was worth it, haha). It’s funny, though—it was such an effort keeping awake at night this Ramadan, but the day it’s over, I get around an hour of sleep (in batches), and I didn’t feel tired in the least bit during the party/afterwards. Like, I’m usually pretty introverted even when it comes to just family get-togethers, but I wasn’t at all tired of social interaction when I left (though, we did play several rounds of an argument-based board game just before I left, and I do love me my debates, haha. Have late night discussions for a reason—energizes me right up). My arms and back did, however, end up somehow feeling pretty sore that night and this morning (which I do wonder if that’s where the lack of sleep contributed?).

But, yeah, had a good time this Eid, Alhamdulillah ^^ Hope you do/did, too <3

[med-struck]

Today is my first day at EMC. I’m excited and nervous. Not sure which one I am, more.

I am incredibly grateful to God Almighty, that I am sure. I want to make the best of this opportunity. I wanted to revise so much before my first day, but I did not. I get scared opening up my revision knowing I do not know anything at all. Although I in fact do know some things, but this feeling of imposter syndrome gets to you BAD.

I hope the work environment is really nice. I hope people are nice to me on my face and on my back. My last work experience wasn’t so good. I want this one to be different, in a very good way. InshaAllah.

O Allah, please make this experience for me very beneficial for me, both in terms of dunya and the akhirah. Please purify my intentions and accept all that I do here as good deeds. Please forgive me and make me one of your beloved. Please accept me amongst your beloveds. O Allah, I am nothing without your mercy and help, so please shower upon me and my family your mercy and help. Ameen Ya Rabbal Aalameen.

[roses-and-elixir]

I hope you have the biggest smile on your face this morning, I wanted to ask for a small favour - in tahajjud or whenever you pray to remember me, I was in talks of getting married to someone I really love, his family got involved and so did my parents suddenly overnight after I told few people finally life changed and my parents woke up saying they want me to finish my degree (I’m 26 doing med) and don’t finish till I’m 30, I don’t want to be speaking to him till I’m 30, I want to make this halal. and ky parents were like that’s our decision and it really is hurting me since life changed overnight for no reason and they’ve only met him couple of times none of the times to speak about how he feels about me but more to do with how he is as a person, if they knew how much he loved me they would give me away in a. Second as he is genuinely the best man alhumdulillah , I would be so grateful since me and him are both really going through it to remember us, who knows who our lord will listen to💓

May Allah make it easy for both you and him inshaAllah, will keep you in my prayers.

Can his parents not try to reason with yours and assure your parents you will still finish your degree. Or can you maybe get a nikkah done then have the walima at a later date when you move in with him? That way it will still be halal and you don’t have to stop talking to him.

There’s a duaa that if you read when you wake up in the middle of the night your prayer will likely get accepted. Here’s the link: https://duas.com/dua/144/dua-when-waking-up-at-night-1

[iheartallah]

Assalamualaikum. Hope you are well.

I’m (23F) currently considering a proposal and would perhaps like your views.

The prospect is 25 and lives 4 hours away in the UK; a relative suggested me to his mother. We’ve exchanged pictures, and spoken on a video call. I was happy to then exchange numbers- and I suggested we would speak for a week or so prior to confirming whether we would be happy for families to meet.

He seems nice: mature, funny and calm. He lives separately from his parents, an hour away for his work and visits them fortnightly. His mother is conservative, and wasn’t really happy with the two of us communicating via text ‘alone’. She suggested we make a decision of families meeting within a couple of days of talking instead and that any other questions can be made through our mothers. I understood her view, and I felt what I had seen from him was enough to warrant meeting a family meeting. I also could feel myself getting emotionally attached to him, so I appreciated having the distance.

I have started praying Istikhara. They’ll be coming at the end of the month, and conversations with him and his Mum always go well- smooth and productive.

I’m conscious of the following:

I asked about habits such as smoking and watching pornography. He disclosed to me early on in the days of our conversation that he used to smoke at university, and that he doesn’t do so now. He also disclosed that he used to watch porn, but this has stopped too.

He then voluntarily highlighted that he had also consumed alcohol when he first entered the world of work. He’s provided detail, saying he was never drunk but ‘tipsy’. He isn’t proud of his actions, which he states occurred a handful of times, and he does seem remorseful. He was quite open in discussing the details with me, but asked I do not tell anyone, as his family are unaware. I’ve agreed to not disclose his sin, and thanked him for his honesty. I asked for promises that will not take up smoking, pornography and drinking again, and he has done so.

FYI- He asserts that he is a virgin, and has never been in a relationship. My older brother has spoken to him and approves of his character.

As someone who has abstained from these things, I am feeling a little confused. I expected the smoking and porn, it has cropped up with every potential I have spoken to. I’m nervous that he would turn back to drink, even though he has assured me that he will not. I haven’t disclosed anything to my mother, but I mentioned to her that potentials can promise anything before marriage- but once I’m in his care, they can switch. She emphasised that this is a matter of Tawakkul, and having trust in Allah’s plan with Istikhara.

It comforts me that he volunteered this information, and our discussion has been frank about it. He seems like a good person, who perhaps fell wayward in the past, but I’m nervous to marry him trusting only his word. It might be worth noting that my father is not in the picture, and this has led to incredible caution on my part, almost where I tend to overthink each proposal to saying no. In a way, the non-communication is not helping matters.

Of course, no being on this earth can tell me what the marriage will be like lol, but I would appreciate your thoughts on the above.

Alikum Salam

Best of luck for the meeting – I hope it goes well inShaAllah

The below answer is based on my personal opinion - I am not a person of knowledge and this is not a fatwa

Your mother is absolutely right. Have tawakkul in Allah and He will grant you the person that you are destined to be with and that is best for you

I would suggest not asking any potential in the future (in case it doesn’t work out with this one) about things such as whether or not he has watched porn; if the potential doesn’t answer you truly, they will be lying and if they do answer you, they are disclosing their sin; both of these actions are disliked by Allah hence its best to not put someone in such a spot. I would strongly advice against it in light of the below hadith

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “My entire nation is safe, except Al-Mujahirin (those who boast of their sins). Among the Mujaharah is that a man commits an (evil) act, and wakes up in the morning while Allah has kept his (sin) a secret, he says: “O Fulan! Last night I did this and that.” He goes to sleep while Allah has kept his (sin) a secret but he wakes up in the morning and uncovers what Allah has kept a secret!” [Saheeh Al-Bukhari]

Also remember that any sin someone has committed is in the past and if Allah wills, He can wipe their slate clean and grant them renewed guidance & closeness to Him. Remember the example of our beloved Umar RadiAllahuAnh who was among the sinner before He accepted islam but later on, became the man who was among those promise paradise in this world itself; Allah is the one who can turn hearts away from guidance but also towards it! Hence, personally I would steer away from judging a potential from “sins/mistakes” they have committed in the past.

Marriage is all about trust and you would anyways have to trust your potential future spouse in many regards, not only this particular situation. The reason you are all the more sensitive about it is because it is with regard to drinking. My advice would be go with the flow in this regard and for now (as you are in the very early stages of getting to know each other) take his word for it - as you get to know him more in the future, you will be in a better position to assess whether or not he is a man of his word and can be trust - just make sure to not get emotionally attached (as this will cloud your judgement).

Allah has already written the name of your spouse next to yours many thousand years before the earth was even created; there is no way that can ever change. Do you best due diligence within allowable means, do istikhara and lots of dua and ask Allah for guidance in this regard. In the end, only Allah’s will can prevail and He will grant you the absolute best inShaAllah Ameen. I wish you the best and hope and pray you are granted a spouse that becomes the means of your success in this world and the next (Ameen)

No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself for the outcome of all affairs is determined by the decree of Allah. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come on your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from you it cannot flee.” - Umar ibn al Khattab رضي الله عنه

[al-firdaus]

How did you write the book you wrote? Microsoft Word or is there any other amazing place we can jumble our thoughts up and get it printed? would really appreciate your help.

I formatted my book on microsoft word but i followed the tips on this page:

https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/help/topic/G202145400

If you look at the drop down options on the left hand side, you’ll also see other links on how to build your book step by step. It’s not an easy process and takes a bit of fiddling around with the functions on Word to get the hang of it, but it gets easier once you know what you’re doing.

After completing your book, you save it in a pdf format and upload it to the kdp website below:

https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US

It’s a self-publishing website where you can upload your book for free on amazon. However, you get half the profit of your books price, so do read up on that before you upload your manuscript to the kdp website.

You’ll have to make an account first and fill in the necessary details of your book e.g. name of book, namee of author, synopsis, keyword, size you want your book to be etc. It will ask for a book cover which you can create on your own using softwares (however I’d definitely recommend asking someone to make it for you as it’s quite time consuming and requires a lot of effort). You can also use the websites own built in book cover templates to make one. After this, upload your pdf manuscript (it will check for any errors in your book that may need changing before you move on to the next stage).

After your manuscript has been accepted, you can go on to updating the price of your book and publishing it onto amazon. It will give you a time frame of 3 days before it goes live on amazon so do be aware of that.

Alternatively, you can create your manuscript then give it to leaf publishers:

https://www.leafpublishinghouse.com

Their service is amazing from what i have heard and they do all the editing, book cover, marketing etc, for you for around £800. Do check them out too InshaAllah.

Hope this helps ��

[forbeautifulmystery]

Salaam, hope everyone is well isA!

So I got a message from a muslim INFJ who was saddened at the loss of a potential marriage suiter and wanted to hear my take on the situation. I was going to reply privately, but then I realised if I post my reply publicly it may be of benefit to other INFJs and Muslims in a similar position inshaAllah. So here's my reply:

Jzk for your message. I appreciate this is quite a raw situation for anyone to face. But please know that one thing you can count on is that Allah swt will always be there and He swt will heal you with time.

At some point in life we will all face a situation where we try your best to accomplish a task - we put our best effort in, and it just doesn't work out, no matter how hard we try. It could be any deen or dunya-related opportunity e.g. you were sekeing a specific Job, or specific person to marry etc. And even when you tried to keep good intentions, and do halal actions in approaching the goal, it still doesn't work out. So what do you do in a situation like this?

Just as you've mentioned in your question, dua and tawakal (trusting in Allah's plan) will be essential. And I know its definitely easier to say it than to do it, but we need to keep faith that these disappointments were written for us by Allah swt, and it is best for us in ways we can't comprehend yet.

As hard as it is, when things irreversibley don't work out, we have to accept that Allah has a way better plan for us than any plan we could ever imagine.

Sometimes we think something is perfect for us, but it turns out to be the absolute worst for us, or we may think something is really bad for us, when in reality it would be the perfect for us. Only Allah swt knows best through His infinite knowledge. And its by His Mercy that He withholds certain things from us too. Allah swt always has 3 answers to our duas - 1) Yes, 2) Yes but not now, and 3) I have a better plan for you. When we accept what is meant for us will always find its way to us, we will feel at peace.

Going back specifically to marriage searches, I find it's always best to speak appropriately, trust your gut feelings and long term thinking, and approach it logically to avoid any emotional lapses in judgment. And it's important to involve both families from the get-go to avoid any miscommunication or feelings getting hurt.

And whilst it can take time finding the right spouse in today's day and age, it gives you time to bond better with your family and friends, and keep reflecting and developing yourself (which as an INFJ I'm sure you're already doing). I've found that you can never reflect too much on your own strengths and your weaknesses, likes and dislikes, what you naturally can and cannot tolerate well in other personality types. I have found this helps you appreciate your own niche skills and abilities as an INFJ, and discover more about how you interact with others in the present, and potentially in the future. And this will also reveal to you what qualities you are offering to a potential spouse and what you are looking for in terms of qualities in your future spouse.

If you want to hear from some good motivational Islamic speakers who give awesome advice when it comes to marriage searches and life advice, I encourage looking at Mufti menk's videos (he's an ENFJ) and Nouman Ali Khan's videos (I think he could be an INFJ too).

Hope this helps inshaAllah, may Allah swt make it easy for us all to find compatible spouses that are right for us, ameen!

[islamicrays]

We were in Arafah, on the most blessed day of Hajj some years ago and there was a woman in our group who was feeling really down. “I didn’t cry a single time,” she told me sadly.

She was measuring her closeness to Allah on emotions she felt had not come out.

But as many of us know from Ramadan, tears don’t just pour down. Emotions don’t just happen, even in spiritual places or in spiritual times. Many of us may feel the month has gone by without our tasting its sweetness. We have not cried our hearts out to Him like we may have wanted. We haven’t felt the spiritual high we had so hoped to gain.

And that’s exactly why Allah did not require of her, nor of us, to have intense emotions in order to draw nearer to Him. We simply need to be sincere and do the *actions.*

God tells us in a holy hadith: “My servant draws not near to Me with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him, and My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him…”

Here He is telling us that the way we draw close to Him is through the religious duties He has made obligatory on us and then through anything extra.

He does not say: “You draw close to Me through a feeling you get and that’s how you know you’re actually close to Me.” He does not ask us to weep for our sins every minute. He does not demand we cry out of love for Him everyday, even if that is what we want to do.

That doesn't mean we don't try to emotionally connect with Him. But not experiencing that does not indicate failure or a lack of acceptance or God's displeasure.

If you are sincere and you’re trying to do the right things and struggling to stay away from the wrong ones- inshaAllah you ARE close to Allah! Now just keep working on the actions with as much sincerity possible to continue to draw nearer to Him.

And if you want and miss the tears, the sweetness- pour your heart to Him. Sit and enumerate every blessing you can think of He has bestowed upon you. And from the depths of your heart thank Him for each one. Raise your hands and ask. And then do it again. Keep knocking on that door. He InshaAllah will open! And more importantly, He sees, appreciates, rewards and loves that action.

-Ustadha Maryam Amir

[mysoulguideme]

I really wish all Parents , esp Nigerian parents ... since I’ve been able to study dem the most, would be able to undastand parenting isn’t their 15 seconds of power trip they have ova our lives until we 21 .

Cos most times, wat happens is, dey diminish us of confidence, through silencing us at anytime dey feel we’ve slightly stepped on their authority ++ continuously choose 2 “humble” us instead of empowa us . All of a sudden, you’re me, a month before your 24th birthday ++ dey expect u 2 have it all figured out by now . Dey want us to take care of ourselves and leave da crib . Funny thing is, I get it . Like duh . Dats how it’s sposed 2 be . But all dis time I’ve been called many hurtful things from da people who gave me life . “nothing” was a low one . told me not to speak when you say anything . having an opinion is talking bak . Dey say I’m sarcastic meanwhile I get 99% of my humor from my parents . I belee it’s essential 2 have dialogue wit all people in ur life none more den ur PARENTS . As confident as I’ve always been, I still find myself being soft spoken most of da time so I don’t disrespect or disrupt anyone (my voice gets rlly loud when comfy) .. I’m my most confident when I’m around my friends den my parents .. I’m sure I’m not alone . Like why have a child jus to brainwash Dem to think like you and then silence them for being anything different. Of course, I’m overly sensitive . Gratefully it led 2 me becoming empathic . I felt pain at home that obviously doesn’t compare to most , howeva I feel pain is pain ++ one can’t quantify who had it worst if we both felt PAIN .

Honestly, I don’t want to be at odds wit my parents anymore and maybe it’s best to accept who they are . Maybe I am rude . Maybe I am rebellious . I do know I love every being on this planet and erryone gets a fair chance from me when we meet . I didn’t learn this at home though . (I hope I don’t sound like a brat , my family has it’s ups . My mom gave me a lot of foundational love but being raised by a mom alone not easy . A lot of bullets I wasn’t meant to see. ) Life had to teach me how to be a great person . Childhood movies/TV shows ++ music taught me more values than some of my elder relatives, but it’s crazy I love em still . Not sure if I like them all da time but I love em . It’s dis endless cycle .

My main mission wit my children InshaAllah, is to raise them in a loving environment . I want to empowa dem 2 speak UP . Don’t let me or anyone silence you . I’m excited to learning so much from my children. As well as learning about them . I’ll give them options , start em off in various sports, various instruments, various languages ++ allow them to choose . I eeen want em to have a choice in being Muslim or not . I don’t want to force religion on my kids . I believe we condition humans instead of empowering dem . I’m breaking my cycle .

[abarahman-richard-chignell]

The Start is Always Difficult

It is always a little difficult to think of how to start anything and somewhat nerve-wracking putting yourself out there. 

As a Muslim, we know that all good things start with Bismillah.

So, Bismillah.

Now I have the perfect start but then I immediately run into trouble knowing how to kick this new project off! 

After all it is has been a long time since I used to write a fairly popular niche blog about trading. It had a decent readership mainly because of the series I conducted called the 'Pro's Process' which interviewed professional traders and investors from all different styles (33 to be exact). I have kept that available for free on Tumblr and you can find a link near the bottom of the page at richardchignell.tumblr.com. I still think it is a good resource and it is free despite others selling 'courses' with similar material - but those making money out of wannabe traders who can't trade their own way out of a wet paper bag is a topic for another day!

With my old Embrace The Trend blog I accidentally at first, and then as a kind of act of rebellion,  had a policy that limited my readership. I didn't give 'hot tips' on stocks or make 'market calls' as to the direction of corn futures. Instead, I focussed on the part that makes or breaks traders and investors. The luminaries before me have often said that psychology is anywhere from 80% to 90% of what makes a successful trader. However, if you want readership of a finance blog then you definitely don't want to do as I did and actually point people to the area they will reap the most rewards. You do want to create a lot of hoopla about where things are going and how you made 1000's of percent with never an equity drawdown in sight. (My own edge in the markets is heavily due to my work in the area of psychology and thanks in a no small part to the wonderful mentors I have had along the way. Perhaps if people are interested I can go into my process for communicating with world-class mentors). 

However, I seem to have digressed, but at least I have started. As I said it is always hard to start, so the fact that I have means I am beyond the first hurdle. After all, it is all about putting one foot in front of the other.

The main question at hand, is really, why am I writing again?

As I was just about to commence I found these Grammarly lines in their marketing emails that I thought were rather apt:

"Writing opens a line of communication between you and other people. And when you commit to improving your writing, you open yourself up to better conversations, remarkable accomplishments, and healthier relationships."

I'll certainly take that if it is the outcome of my writing to you.

However, actually I am writing for you first and me second. .......It turns out that a lot of people have been asking me to begin writing again. People ask me to talk to them and share about the same topics (being a revert to Islam, investing, start-ups, business, conventional vs Islamic economy, my perspective on the ummah as a revert, strangely for advice as if I am a Sheikh *I most definitely am not*, etc, etc). This happens so much that it has got to the point that doing so in one central place may serve people better (as there are only so many people I can talk to personally). This is also why I am playing around with a kind of spoken blog format. If we can't sit for coffee together, at least perhaps you can hear me. Plus I know how few like to read anymore! Yes, colleagues, I am referring to you!! 

Also after my adventures, in the SE Asian start-up space, many perhaps also wonder if I dropped off the face of the earth, and I plan to use this blog to keep people a little up-to-date as to what I am currently working on.

So this is going to be inshaAllah a personal blog where I riff on topics that interest me and try to help others through sharing lessons I have learned as I approach my 40th year.

For those who don't know me at all and are reading this perhaps for the first time, let me give you a very rapid-fire introduction as to why I have a unique perspective perhaps on certain matters. 

.....But first, let me tackle the inshaAllah above! Look this is going to be difficult to pitch correctly to all the potential people reading this. Writing as a Muslim I feel obliged to use all the terms such as inshaAllah (as God very clearly tells us in the Qu'ran that he controls the future, not us, and that we must thus say inshaAllah - if God wills it') but then it also makes for very clunky reading for those who are not Muslim or new to the faith. So for the hardliners out there, not that your judgement is relevant, every time you see me not using a term, think well of your Brother, because the chances are I certainly thought it and that I deliberately chose to omit it for the benefit of the nice people reading this. In contrast, my non-Muslim readers please bear with me as you come across unusual terms peppered through the writing (you've already had Bismillah - in the name of God - and inshaAllah - if God wills it) you are about to find out that us Muslims are a funny bunch and we like to remember God as often as possible, hence the terms. Don't you worry no harm will come of it and you will adjust to reading the odd term here and there as if it is commonplace, inshaAllah ;-))

.......Now, where was I? Unique perspective and all that..... 

I'm currently approaching my fortieth year in this life and I reverted to Islam just shy of 3 years ago, Alhamdullilah (All Praise is due to God). I did this after a great deal of study and research, without really meeting any Muslims. I, of course, had met Muslims in my heart, those beautiful characters in the Quran and the Seerah (the life of Prophet Muhammad pbuh), and some of the great men of history as I am a voracious reader. But my acceptance of Islam was in no way from personal interaction with current Muslims. I share this as this is one of the reasons for the unique perspective. The Muslims we meet as newcomers to the religion, I have found this to be almost an absolute truth polling other reverts, basically, break our hearts! However, I have been blessed by God all my life by having a knack for finding excellent people to learn from.  

Prior to Islam, after University I worked in a bank selling mortgages, went on to a graduate management business program, becoming a financial services headhunter, opening my own firm in Switzerland / Germany - losing my firm in the 2008 crisis, becoming a self-taught prop trader (specialising in commodity futures, spreads, and some options) and doing some random consulting along the way in everything from corporate structuring to alternative agriculture.

As the Muslims reading this will realise the last phase of my life as a trader basically meant that I specialised, and I was really good, in the haram (the forbidden). Interest (Riba) and derivatives in Islam are forbidden and that was my game!   

......I am not a Brother that does things by half! The moment I said my Shahada (all that is required to become a Muslim) I stopped futures trading and faced a very uncertain future. Not only does a revert often lose family and friends (and if they don't certainly have major hurdles coming their way) but this revert had to work out how to make a living again!

When I decided to reinvent myself I quickly immersed myself in the Islamic Finance world, moved to Malaysia, consulted in the start-up space, and have been working towards bringing to life a number of exciting things that are Halal (pure) and I see as being much needed in this world: they range from Shariah-compliant Asset Management - to a Think Tank - to a new way of doing an old style of Philanthropy (waqf) - to real economy infrastructure work like building roads in the Philippines!! 

......Even over this short 3-year journey, I have met such a variety of Muslim. They have been so diverse that a baby Muslim just having taken his shahada could never have imagined: I've met the least bending of Salafi, to the Sufi, to the 'claim to be Muslim but follow some really weird stuff Muslim', to the beer drinking for Iftar Muslim, the all too present Friday Muslim, a whole lot of "I don't really get what a wonderful Blessing it is to be a Muslim", to thankfully the majority of 'trying my best to make it in this wold Muslim', to the inspirationally humble pious Brothers and Sisters who are drawn to the masjid and charity Muslim and everything in between and from every colour and nation to boot. SubhanAllah (Glorified is Allah) the Ummah is diverse!!

The great blessing in this is the Muslims that stood out like shining gold and were there and many still are there for me in my development as a Muslim. Who I am blessed to have, for periods, travelling this journey with me. I realise that not many of my revert Brothers and Sisters have been quite so lucky to have Mufti's, Sheikhs, honest pious businessmen that they can ask any question to and receive legit answers. I also realise it is such a minefield out there with internet Sheikhs and community voices that really often do more harm than good and thank Allah swt for making my life filled with those who have actually studied this beautiful tradition and making them available to me to ask the many questions that arise. 

.......It is my hope to address some of the challenges I faced, how I went about them, the advice I received or knowledge I acquired, as well as tackling some of the consistent ones other reverts face along the way - and I pray that it is of some benefit to even one of you. Please note that I throw in a very strong disclaimer that this is from my perspective, I am not a Sheikh, I am just a slave like everyone else, All Good that I say comes from Allah swt, and I ask forgiveness for anything that is misguided.

Oh and you never know since I have found that many born Muslims have a sort of rediscovery/reversion process, I hope that you'll benefit and enjoy what I share. Also please forgive me for any things that hit a sore spot when referring to this journey - it is inevitable I am afraid.

Let us remember that all Muslims are the descendants of reverts who had the truest of blessings to be in the company of Prophet Muhammad pbuh. 

Oh, and this isn't going to be all Islam so don't freak out when I write seemingly unrelated things about Olympic weightlifting, business, investment performance, start-ups, surfing, books I enjoy, my love for Morocco, and other eclectic things.... since it's my blog I guess I don't really have to take permission! 

[ftn-luna]

Digesting thoughts at midnights.

I’ve got some good news to write here for some memory keeping. Alhamdullilah, I passed my interview. MashaAllah, I just cannot express how I felt when I get the result. It was both for my Emak and Ayah ♥️ Definitely without their doas and support, I wouldn’t get this far. You know, I felt like crying while writing this. Everything that happen to me at these moment were merely because of my family and supportive friends. Every journey that we passed were never and easy, but because of the prayers from my loved ones that makes me get what I have now.

Its hard to express in words but I am so gonna write this things, so that when I get tired of working someday, I would want to read back of how happy and grateful I was when getting the result. As much as I am super blessed and happy, I was kinda dissapointed and sad also because a few of my friends didn’t managed to passed this interview. I am completely understand how broken they were when seeing most of my classmates passed this interview. I prayed that may Allah will ease your ways, may He will gives you a much better oppurtunity in the future for you, may He grant you abundance of other rizq’ for you and your family. Just so you know that I always and forever (inshaAllah) keep you guys in my prayers. They were with my since day 1, how can I cannot be broken as well. I was afraid of talking about these things as well. Please don’t lose hope. You guys were going to be a really-really-really great educators in future. I’m sure your times will comes also. Me, myself wasn’t sure about what kind of educators I would be. Please makes dua’ for me and others too.

Apart from it, there some things that haven’t settle yet like my medical check up thingy. Even my placement haven’t been decided yet. I do hope that may whats have been stores for me would be good for myself, my family and my faith. I hope that I can accepted with full heart of where I’m going. I prayed that may He will make everything ease for me and also my family. You know like when you already had certain amount of numbers that would be in your bank someday. I am worried. I am afraid that I can’t make a right-kind-of-finance-management-thingy for it. I hope that may my consciences always hit me to give back to my loved ones.

Ok, I am writing this for me to remembers to know your roots well, Fatin. Because now, it is finally your turns to give back. It is your responsibility as a daughter to emak and ayah, as a cucu to your one and only Atuk, as a kakak to your adik-adik and as sistur to your abang and kakak. Remember here, give back as you can. For their happiness and well-being. Not to forget also to friends as well. Those who helped and gave you lots of gifts and all. I hope I have times and enough courage of doing it.

Ya Allah, kurniakan padaku rezeki yang diredhaiMu agar aku mampu untuk memberi kembali pada yang banyak membantuku ♥️

This were a lot of thoughts to digest actually. This probably happened because I passed by some thread on twitter that talking about the management of money thing things. It does makes me brain widely wonder here and there. Lots of plan that makes me afraid to lose myself. Hence, I’m writing this in hoping that I could always stay on my root wherever I go. Wherever I fly or maybe soars, I would always want to go back to my safe haven which would be my family. InshaAllah, may Allah ease up whatever you’ll be doing, Fatin.

For a peaceful and serene future that you’re looking <3

-f.n.r

[2:28am, BP house, 10th March 2022]

[partytilfajr]

Salaam Osama, I hope you are in good health inshaAllah. I've recently been struggling to hold onto my faith and pray sincerely to God. I am ashamed to say that I have done bad things and I don't know how to move past this. I know that the first step is to get away from the sin (this has also been the hardest but I'm getting there). The next thing I am finding really difficult is forgiving myself and repenting sincerely. I know that God is all forgiving but how do I make my way back to him?

Wa alykum as-salaam,

A few things:

Don’t think that God won’t accept your repentence:

“Even if your sins reached up to the clouds in the sky, I would forgive you.”- Hadith Qudsi [Sunan al-Tirmdhi]

Don’t think that God won’t forgive you from your sins so you don’t start fresh:

“Why would God cause you to suffer [for your past sins] if you are grateful and attain to belief - seeing that God is always responsive to gratitude, all-knowing?” - The Holy Qur’an [4:147]

Keep this in mind:

It was said to [The Prophet’s grandson] Al-Hassan: ”Is not the servant [of God] ashamed of sinning and then repenting, and then sinning again and then again repenting?”

He [Al-Hassan] said: “Satan wants exactly that. Never stop making repentance.” [Ibn Rajab, Jami’ Al-Ulum]

Your heart is directed towards the right thing, but you’re having trouble, and you’re not the first, nor are you the last, but look at The Qur’an, for God says:

“Yet withal, behold, I forgive all sins unto any who repents and attains to faith and does righteous deeds, and thereafter keeps to the right path.“ [20:82]

But God doesn’t just stop there, while warning those who commit Zina that there is punishment, God talks about those who repent:

“Excepted, however, shall be they who repent and attain to faith and do righteous deeds: for it is they whose [erstwhile] bad deeds God will transform into good ones - seeing that God is indeed much-forgiving, a dispenser of grace,“ [25:70]

God will take all of your bad deeds and turn them into good deeds.

In Ibn Kathir’s Tafsir (exegesis) on this Ayah, he cites a Hadith from Abu Dharr:

“I know the last person who will be brought forth from Hell, and the last person who will enter Paradise. A man will be brought and it will be said, ‘Take away his major sins and ask him about his minor sins.’ So it will be said to him: ‘On such and such a day, you did such and such, and on such and such a day, you did such and such.’ He will say, ‘Yes,’ and he will not be able to deny anything. Then it will be said to him: ‘For every evil deed you now have one good merit.’ He will say: ‘O Lord, I did things that I do not see here.’” He (Abu Dharr) said: “And the Messenger of God smiled so broadly that his molars could be seen.”

Ibn Kathir continues, this is really important: 

“…those evil deeds that have passed are turned into good deeds by way of the true and sincere repentance itself. This is because every time that person remembers what he had done, he regrets it, feels remorse, and seeks God’s forgiveness. In this way, the sin becomes an act of obedience.”

Finally, I ask you to remember this:

A sin does not define you, what you do next, does.

Take care, insha Allah.

[roses-and-elixir]

I really need Allah’s help rn I’m in intense crisis pls make dua and tell me about an answered dua story to renew my hope (something that was impossible but answered)

Sorry for the late reply. I would focus on reading into the stories of the prophets (peace be upon them) - they all have been in situations where things seemed impossible but Allah helped/saved them. For example, Yunus (PBUH) when he was struck in the belly of the wale and he recited the duaa that Allah loved so much He accepted it.

Not sure what the context of what your situation is, but as long as you’ve tried your hardest and done what you could have - leave the rest into the care of Allah and have faith in Him. Being patient and waiting for an answer to your prayers may sometimes feel painful but you are rewarded immensely for it. Also remember to mention that you get whatever it is your praying for if it is good for you. Sometimes we’re so caught up in the wanting that we don’t always consider the greater picture.

This isn’t exactly what you wanted from me but -

A few of years back I prayed for something so badly, I would get up at tahajjud and pray, everywhere I was I’d pray, on journeys (bc I heard thats when duaas are more likely to be accepted). And at the time, I kept phrasing my duaas with if it was good for me. And turns out - even though I didn’t fully understand the situation and only thought about what my heart wanted (and suffered as a result) - it actually wasn’t good for me. I let myself hurt for over a year over this matter. It’s only about a month ago I fully found out more information regarding what I prayed for and realised why it was rejected and I was so glad things didn’t play out the way I wanted it to. I was young and foolish back then lol and didn’t know everything but Allah knows all - and He will give you the best. So have faith inshaAllah!! If it doesn’t work out then its not meant to be, and if it does work out then alhamdulillah :)

[rieamy]

Dear Diary,

For the past six months it has been nothing but joy and peacefulness that I haven't had in such a long time. I wasn't even looking for any commitment or relationship I was definitely so happy on my own ever since September. I was so hurt that I stopped talking to anyone I just kept everything by myself I drink I smoke a lot I just a lot of stupid things. Anything that made myself feel numb. There was a breakdown or mental breakdown and after awhile I was alone I did not focus on anyone or talk to anyone I was happy with my own company. Sure is hell I wasn't looking for anyone.  And that's where he came into my life.

Ever since I knew him I stopped my bad habits Because I felt he's a good person and if he were to have a partner he deserve nothing but the best. A friendship, just someone I knew through gaming just that I didn't know it's gonna go this far, got my feelings and time invested in someone, unknowingly I fell for him, loved him. But one thing for sure is out of all the guys that I knew I've never felt at home, at peace, something that I haven't experienced ever not in my life not in my love life. Honestly, I feel so strongly that he's the one for me, my jodoh? It’s so weird because I've never felt this way and even when things ended, I felt somehow there is hope for the both of us maybe not now maybe in the future I don't know, inshaAllah.

I don't know why but I feel like one day he's gonna come back to me like or when we are better individuals in the future eg we're better muslims or when we are ready. Truly in my heart I hope that on the day that we bump into each other, we're ready.

He said that he had feelings for me but it all changed, he says that is because of my insecurities that got in the way which led into our arguments. I'm just gonna give a guess that he has never ever put in so much effort for a female before. The things that he did for me, things we went through together is definitely not something that one say is a friendship it was definitely more than a friendship. The friendship felt like we were floating in limbo. Just kept telling myself that this is all new to him so I was like, “you know what just give him some time maybe he will figured it out”. But I guess that all of my insecurities brought him so much stress and he felt like he couldn't handle it in this, he wanted quits. It felt the issues that we had was tiny, but I guess that to him is such a huge thing. I'm so sure that is something that could be fixed but I guess he didn't want it. Kept saying that we're friends and it's not at the right place for me to be jealous of him talking to other girls in gaming. At one point I kept thinking like I was crazy like I was the crazy one like I'm not supposed to react to being jealous because to him we are just friends and nothing more. I'm a female I'm sensitive I can't help but to react to whatever his actions are I couldn't help it. I still get sad every day. I don't really show that I'm sad anymore but I still am it's still inside me, I just don't show it because I'm kinda numb at this point. But it's definitely getting better at the same time I used to cry every hour when I'm doing my assignments that was such a hell time for me but now it's just like at night or certain points of the day I would tend to have a mental breakdown thinking like I'm not good enough for him. As you can tell diary the severity of the situation, I will be like this for the next couple of years I would be able to move on even if I do I won't be talking to anyone, not anytime soon or in couple of years. It's scary how I think I won't ever be ready. My heart is closed, not ready to accept anyone except for him.

[simplyhasanah]

Today, I attended the first job interview of the year, that is, after finishing the contract with the uni last January. I didn’t really apply for this particular job directly but I guess since my name was registered in the job centre, it automatically sent the details of ‘my’ application to this very company. When I was called by the centre last time, asking my permission if I would want to go for it and I had to answer yes immediately- mostly because they have a good image and their nature is in line with my values. 

Prior to the interview today, like any other interview days, I was thinking and maybe overthinking about the job, because what I want to do isn’t exactly what the job will be offering to me. But then again, this job will surely exercise my almost-dormant skills that I’ve left quite a number of years ago before I had to undergo bouts of depression. Sigh. 

I look at myself in the mirror. I’m not getting any younger. My family, well, my parents are not getting any younger. I know that they are worried for me even if they don’t really show it. So far, only my close friends could understand what I’m going through. But Alhamdulillah for these beautiful people. 

I am well aware of the questions that will be asked because they have a set of standard questions. I’ve attended a couple of interviews last year and every single time I answered the questions, I answered it differently. Because I’ve gone from a different level to another different level in accordance to the tests that I was facing at each time. I thought again of those interviews- so far I’ve attended three interviews last year and I obviously didn’t get the job but soon after that I got the contract job at the uni, Alhamdulillah ‘ala kulli hal. Of all the interviews, I didn’t really put high hopes in getting the job. If I get it, Alhamdulillah. If I don’t get, Alhamdulillah. Allah SWT has better plans for me, inshaAllah. 

Today, the interviewers were more chilled than the other interviewers that I’ve talked to. I think the fact that I knew that there would be similar set of questions to the previous interview questions- makes me somewhat more confident in giving my answers. However, there was this statement made by one of the interviewers today, “We want someone who can handle pressure well. We don’t want fragile people.”

I didn’t actually say that I am fragile even though I know deep inside, I could be fragile. But I only told him that my experiences when I was doing my MA had given me some tough experiences and that I managed to finish it in the end with the help of people around me. Like any other interviews, I feel like I could’ve provided more answers with the ones that I gave. If only there were more time to think of it through. But then, it has happened and I can’t really do anything to it right now. But it’s okay, at least I did my best in the given time. Allah knows best.

I was talking to the first interviewee earlier and we talked about our undergraduate years. She told me she regretted not pursuing her studies as soon as she graduated. And I told her, well, if we were to look back at those things in the past- I assured her that we will definitely have many regrets that we can think about and we’d be dwelling on those regrets all the time. We’ll only make ourselves suffer just thinking about it. So, it’s better to focus on the present on what we can do now. She nodded, silently agreeing with me. I wanted to tell her more but she had to be called in earlier for her interview. I wanted to say, it’s not too late. It’s not too late to do things that we regret earlier since we still have time in this world.

To be honest, if I were accepted to do this job, I’d have to do an intensive revision of the tasks that I’m about to do- as I’ve explained earlier that I haven’t been using/exercising these skills well even though it could be pretty simple. And if I were not, it’s still okay. A rejection is a redirection after all. I’d have more time to think through of my next plan although I still have a few tasks that I need to do this year. I just have to be patient with myself and at the same strengthen my relationship with Allah SWT. It’s a journey to Allah SWT after all :) 

Take a deep breath. Breathe in, breathe out. Smile. Walk with certainty that Allah SWT will guide us on His Path, inshaAllah. So long as we don’t go to other things than Him. May Allah help us and guide us through and through, aamiin..

[forbeautifulmystery]

Salaam! I am an iNFJ guy and I feel that i am needy at times. Do you guys think this is a personal problem or does it have to do with the trait itself? Thank you in advance! Please help out this confused guy out here (most people don’t seem to understand me at all- even I don’t at times lol)

Walaikumasalaam wrwb fellow INFJ muslim!

If by ‘needy’ you mean recognising your need at particular times for affirmation, help,advice or a venting session from those close to you, that’s not needy at all, butactually really healthy behaviour! Most people should be fine with helping you withthe above as we should all be there for each other, especially those amongst ourfamily, friends, as well as the ummah at large. Al-Nu’man ibn Bashir reported:The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The parable of the believers in theiraffection, mercy, and compassion for each other is that of a body. When anylimb aches, the whole body reacts with sleeplessness and fever.” [Source:Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5665, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2586]

Onthe other hand, in my own experience, if I find myself constantly needing affirmation,help or advice on many minor things that I know I have the potential to handle independently, and it’s inconveniencing others around me to expend time and energy they don’t currently have free, then I’m most likely experiencing anxiety and I need to take a step back and determine what is the root cause of it.

Soto answer your question, ‘needyiness’ resulting from anxiety can be a personalproblem for someone of any type, but I personally think Fe users like us are more prone to social anxiety due to our natural focus on the emotions of others as opposed to our own.

For example, when I was younger I really struggled with social anxiety, and overtime I have learned to handle it way better by tackling the unhealthy sideof my Fe. Fe is great in that it allows us to instinctively focus on the emotions of everyone around us, follow social norms, and allows us to use our empathy to be great diplomats and help others. But when we use it an unhealthy way, we end up caring too much about what others think of us, to the point that it is detrimental to our own selves, or we can’t do anything without receiving some form of validation first, or we follow the crowd at the expense of the values or moral principles that we subscribe to.

Onething that really helped me gain the confidence to overcome the affects of thiswas recognising my own strengths, trusting myself to use them and doing shukrfor them. I also realised I needed to focus on solely pleasing Allah swt andgaining His validation as opposed to people. When you do that, Allah swt willmake it easier for you and inspire others to give you validation and acceptance.  Allah's Messenger pbuh said, “If Allah loves a person, He calls Gabriel, saying, ‘Allah loves so and so, O Gabriel love him’ So Gabriel would love him and thenwould make an announcement in the Heavens: ‘Allah has loved so and-so therefore you should love him also.’ So all the dwellers of the Heavens would love him, and then he is granted the pleasure of the people on the earth.” [HadithNo. 66, Vol. 8]

Remember, recognising and working on our unhealthy tendencies takes time and effort, butit’s an ongoing process that we all must carry on throughout our lives. As long as you are intending and working towards becoming a better person today than you were yesterday for the sake of pleasing Allah swt, Alhamdulillah you are onthe right track :)

No worries, I totally relate in that most people don’t really get us INFJs (my family members are all sensors except 2 of my younger cousins who are Ns) andyes, even I don’t get myself at times too! Hope this helps, inshaAllah.