#I realize I didn't tag this but like it don't matter I guess cuz this is just tag rambling pretty much

[wish-i-were-heather]

TOO SWEET ⤵ NASH HAWTHORNE X READER

ABOUT: 3129 words, no use of y/n

STORY: you meet back up with your childhood best friend, and he gets a bit out of hand.

WARNINGS: drunkess/alcohol? i guess that's it

TAGS: @littlemissmentallyunstable @gretag13 @lanterns-and-daydreams @whatsamongus @alwaysthefangirl @zuzanna-jadw1ga @emelia07 @f4iry-bell @low-caloriesmonsterultra @that-daughter-of-hephaestus @jimcarreyfann42 @maybxlle @xoxo-vee @elysianwayy77 @ravishinglyliving @- this is just everyone who wanted to be tagged for grayson cuz i wasn't sure, pls lmk if u do/don't wanna be tagged for other characters!!

inspired by a post by @jkriordanverse <33

A/N: SORRY THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO POST WHILE I WAS GONE BUT THE QUEUE DIDN'T WORK >:( anyway so like i said i saw that post about drunk nash singing hozier and i was like omg yes. this gets kinda long i could've split it into two but i didn't so here we are

You were no stranger to formal events. Your family wasn’t necessarily rich, but you were well off. Somewhat higher status. So it wasn’t unusual for you to be at events that required you to dress up a bit. Put on a dress, do a bit more makeup, put on your good earrings. 

But this one was different.

It was a big charity event run by one of the biggest family names in the country, but the dress code was less suit and tie, high heels and pearl necklaces. For some reason, they had decided to play into the fact that they were in Texas. A western themed event. And for some reason you decided to go, despite having no experience with that style.

You thought it would be simple enough. Find a cute but not too fancy dress and a simple pair of boots to match. The dress you were able to find in your closet- a white one that fell loosely to just about the length of your knees, square neck, and thin straps. Nothing too revealing nor too elegant. The event, unlike most, was about simplicity. 

It was the boots that you had trouble with. 

You’d never worn a pair of cowboy boots before. Silly, supposing you lived in Texas, but you had just never been part of the crowd that wore that regularly. Because you only planned on wearing them to the event, you just ordered a pair online because it didn’t matter too much to you.

Only when they arrived did you realize that they were a bit too big. Nothing crazy, it wasn’t like wearing five sizes too big, more like half. And that half a size still made a difference. 

You stepped out of your car in front of the venue. It was some sort of ranch that clearly hadn’t been used as a proper ranch in who knew how long. The large barn doors were open, revealing all the partygoers and tables and drinks and lights and everything inside. 

Sure enough, everyone was dressed similar to you. Not too formal. Nothing like you were used to wearing. You felt out of place, even though every other person there looked the same. 

With a sigh, you made your way to the entrance. You weren’t exactly sure what to expect there. The only reason you came was because it was a Hawthorne event. You knew that name; you’d known that name your whole life. Your family had been close with the Hawthornes. You grew up with the four boys. Well, mostly with Nash. You were closer to his age than Grayson, Xander, or Jameson. 

But as you grew older, you drifted apart. Adulting happened, you got busy, and eventually you lost contact with Nash. You still had his number in your phone- well, at least his old one from when you were fifteen. Odds were he probably had a new one, and you weren’t willing to text and find out.

So maybe some part of you deep down was hoping to find him again here. It was probably hopeless. Such a big event, so many people, the chances of finding Nash Hawthorne were quite low. 

Yet here you were. 

You kept walking, making your way through the entrance. You were just on time, not too early or too late, but there were already plenty of people walking around. You didn’t recognize any of them. 

There were sounds of glasses clinking, country music in the background, and countless voices conversing as the evening began to unfold. You walked through the crowd, awkwardly adjusting the strap of your dress.

There was nothing wrong with it, but you couldn’t help but feel self conscious, even when everyone was just as casual.

Suddenly, your foot caught on an uneven plank of wood, the oversized shoe not helping one bit. With a startled yelp, you tripped forward. Instinctively, your arms moved out to catch yourself. But there was no need, because before you could properly fall, strong arms caught you, helping you balance again. 

“Woah there,” a familiar voice chuckled. And as you looked up, you found yourself looking into the amused eyes of Nash Westbrook Hawthorne. 

Your eyes widened when you realized who had caught your fall, your face suddenly heating up for no particular reason. 

“Nash?” You breathed, hardly able to believe it. 

He laughed, his grin widening in return when he recognized you too. “Well I’ll be damned. It’s been a long time.”

“Yeah, no kidding.”

Nash took a step back once you were standing again. “You look great, by the way. I don’t think I’ve seen you in this type of dress in… well, ever. The boots too, they look like they suit you.” You could tell he was teasing.

“Am I that obvious?” You asked, tucking your hair behind your ear nervously. “They’re too big, but I figured what harm will it do, right? Oh,” you added. “And, thank you. You look… great, too.” 

Why were you being so awkward? It’s just Nash.

Just Nash.

He laughed again, a deep, warm sound that you remembered well. “Thanks, darlin’. Here, why don’t we go sit down? Catch up somewhere quieter.”

You agreed, and the two of you navigate your way through the crowd of people. He was guiding you subtly, his hand gently resting on the small of your back. As you walked, you couldn’t help but notice how at ease he seemed, like he belonged there.

Which made sense, it was his family’s event. And Nash of all the Hawthornes was the one who was most comfortable in those Western-themed situations. 

Most likely to win a rodeo. 

You and his brothers had voted him that when you were kids. 

Nash led you to a quieter spot in the back, as promised. There were some hay bales set up as makeshift seats. Sure, there were chairs that you could’ve snagged from an empty table, but where was the fun in that? 

“Have a seat,” he told you. “I’ll get us some drinks.” And before you could respond, Nash was off. You watched as he walked away, finding yourself glad that he was turned away so he couldn’t see you staring. 

His hair was about the same length and style from when you were younger- you supposed he found what he liked and stuck to it. But that didn’t matter because he was wearing a cowboy hat. Maybe it was for the occasion, but you knew him, and odds were he was wearing it because that was just what he liked. 

But, of course, it had still been almost ten years. He had most definitely grown. Taller, visibly stronger, and his voice had gotten deeper. 

You weren’t complaining. 

Nash returned, and you were snapped out of your thoughts. “So apparently there’s no alcohol. Avery’s decision, not mine. Hope you like iced tea.”

“Thanks.” You took the cup from him as he sat down beside you, but realized he’d only grabbed one. “Why didn’t you get one for yourself?”

Nash shrugged. “I’m not a fan of tea. Even without sugar or nothing, it’s a bit too sweet.”

“Oh,” you nodded. Then you thought about what he’d said earlier. “So, Avery…?”

“Oh, yeah, you don’t know her, do you? I mean, I’m gonna assume that you’ve seen everything on the news and such, but you’ve never met her.” 

You had definitely been paying attention to any news involving the Hawthornes ever since you stopped talking to him. Maybe paying a little more attention than you wanted to admit. “Is she nice? Good to Jameson?” “Oh yeah,” he nodded. “Very good to Jamie. They’re good for each other.” 

“Good, good.”

Why were you acting so weird?

Just Nash. 

You took a sip of the iced tea, the cold calming your nerves a bit. Nash leaned back on the hay bale, as if picking up on your nervousness and trying to make himself more open. 

“So,” he began. “How has life been? Last I heard you were looking at colleges out of state?” 

You nodded, suddenly feeling more comfortable when you knew what to say. “Yeah. I went up to Massachusetts.” “Really. Did you go to school there?”

“Yeah. Harvard? Have you heard of it?” You joked. “I don’t know, it’s not very well known.”

Nash laughed with you. “Harvard. You’re kidding.”

“What, you jealous?” Already back into your old ways, teasing him.

“No. That’s where Grayson’s going.”

Your eyes widened. “What? That’s crazy. On the off chance I run into him, I’ll tell him you say hi.”

Your conversation continued, wandering from how your lives have been to his thoughts on the whole inheritance drama when it first happened. Then somehow you started talking about the fact that they now had a dog named Tiramisu? 

Oh, Xander named it. 

That made more sense. 

But as the night progressed, you still found yourself being awkward. The conversation would come to a slow point and Nash would be the one to bring something up and start talking again, not you. Why was it suddenly so hard to talk to him? Sure, maybe you hadn’t spoken in years now, but he was so easy to talk to that it felt like no time at all.  

“You know,” he mentioned eventually. “I’ve missed this. Missed you, missed us. We should try to get together sometime, while you’re here.”

There was something about the way he said us.

“Yeah, that’d be fun. I’m here for the next week, so we could-”

“After the party?”

His offer caught you off guard. You wanted to spend time with Nash, of course, but you hadn’t expected him to want to get together so soon. You weren’t against it, though.

“Oh yeah, after this works.” You took a sip from the drink to try to look more natural; it looked even more forced. “Where do you want to go?”

Nash grinned. 

“Can you sing?”

A question like that was never good coming from a Hawthorne. 

~~

The rest of the event had gone by quickly. Avery had eventually gone up and said a few words, and afterwards Nash introduced you to her. She was nice, as you thought she’d be. 

You also said hello to Xander and Jameson again, which was fun. Grayson, of course, was still at Harvard. Xander made a pinky promise to you that he’d “make sure Gray finds you on campus or else.”

Then, you and Nash were off.

He’d only told you once you’d left where you were going: a karaoke bar. 

You were not a singer, by any means or definition of the word, but Nash reassured you that it was just the two of you for fun. Neither of you were expected to be professionals, so that gave you some bit of closure and got you a little more excited.

You were sure that there had to be some sort of karaoke room in the Hawthorne House, but that’s not where you went. Nash took the two of you to a karaoke bar. But when you arrived, there was an individual room reserved for you. 

Even if it was taking away from the social bar aspect of the karaoke bar, you appreciated not having to sing poorly in front of strangers.

“So,” Nash began once you were settled in. “Have you got any songs to start with?”

You shrugged. “Do you know any Disney?”

He fully gasped. “Do I know Disney? Do I know Disney? Is my last name Hawthorne? Hell yeah I know Disney!”

Nash hadn’t been lying. Together, you sang a song from practically every Disney movie that existed. And as you sang, you realized you didn’t care what you sounded like. He made it so easy for you to let your guard down and relax and just have fun. 

Nash, on the other hand, you quickly realized he had a voice. Deep and controlled, like he knew what he was doing. The only cracks in his voice were because the note was either too high, or just the result of him drinking.

It was a karaoke bar, after all.

Maybe he was secretly a professional country singer in his free time, it’d been so long since you last spoke to him that you had no idea. 

After finishing Love Is an Open Door from Frozen, you both finally paused to catch your breath after nonstop singing. 

“Y’know,” Nash said, taking a sip from the drink he’d ordered- this time with alcohol. “Hans may have been an ass, but he’s a damn good singer.”

You chuckled. “Says you. You are surprisingly good at this.”

“Surprisingly? Ouch,” he said playfully. 

“Seriously though,” you continued. You both took a seat on the couch. “Do you sing often or is that just… a natural talent?”

Nash shrugged humble. “I don’t know. I will sometimes for fun.”

“What do you usually sing?”

He took a final sip from his drink, setting it back down with a loud clunk. “Let me show you.”

~~

Hozier. 

That’s who Nash liked to sing. 

You didn’t know what you were expecting. Maybe some sort of country artist, simply because of how he liked to dress and talk. Not Hozier. But, of course, you weren't complaining. Because those songs seemed to match his voice perfectly. And he sounded beautiful.

Nash had spent a good fifteen minutes singing, taking a drink between each song. Which, obviously, as alcohol does, seemed to have an effect on him. His words grew sloppier, attempts at dancing growing more wobbly.

After a dramatic singing of To Be Alone that felt more like a serenade by the way he looked at you during the chorus, you would’ve thought he was done. He looked pretty tired and out of it from the drinks, too. 

But then the next song auto played- Too Sweet, one of Hozier’s newest songs.

Nash Hawthorne, half drunk and easily excitable, practically screamed.

“I love this song!” He cried, running over to where you were seated and pulling you up to stand with him. You laughed and let him take you.

“You know, Nash, I think I’ve really only ever heard this on the radio-”

He cut you off by beginning to sing when the lyrics appeared on screen. You grabbed the second microphone that you’d set aside and followed along as best you could. It was a bit hard for you to focus, though, as Nash stumbled next to you and tried his best to keep both his feet and his voice steady. Though he tried his best, he was failing miserably.

It was hilarious.

“I think I’ll take my whiskey neat,” he sang, or more accurately, shouted. “My coffee black and my bed at three. You’re too sweet for me!”

When the song ended, he finally let himself sit down. He picked up his drink and had another sip, and you then took it from him.

“Hey!” He pouted. “I’m drinkin’ that. You can drink your own drink, don’t drink my drink.” 

How many times could he say ‘drink’ in a sentence?

“What?” You laughed.

“I mean-” hiccup. “I mean don't drink my drink, it’s mine.”

“I’m not drinking it, Nash. I promise,” you said, talking slowly the same way you would to a little kid. “You’ve just had too much. And we took your car, I don’t want to have to drive it for you…”

But it was a little too late for that, wasn’t it?

You took the free water bottle that’d come with the room off the side table and handed it to him instead. “There, drink that.”

Nash took the water and without hesitation opened it and chugged it, successfully spilling water all over himself. You didn’t even bother to clean it up, because he didn’t even bother to care that he was now soaked. 

“Okay,” you said, more to yourself than him. “We should probably get going.”

“One more song?” Nash asked, failing to balance his hat on his head and deciding to throw it across the room when it didn’t stay on.

“Fine. One more song.” 

Imagine your reaction when you recognized the intro to Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy.

~~

“I’m not five.”

“You sure are acting like it,” you told him. “Sit still and buckle yourself up or I’ll do it for you.”

Nash muttered something under his breath about you not being the boss of him, but he eventually buckled himself up in the passenger seat of his own car, and you got in the front. Nash wasn’t quite completely drunk, but obviously enough to not be himself, because now he was acting like a pouty little kid. 

Yeah, it would probably be best if you drove.

As you pulled out of the parking lot, Nash began typing away on his phone. You didn’t know what he was doing until you heard music begin; he’d bluetooth connected his phone to the car speakers, and was now blasting Take Me to Church. 

He sang along, a sound you assumed usually sounded angelic, but now his voice cracked at pretty much every single note. Things only got better worse when he rolled down the window and sang into the dark of the night. 

You reached over and dialed the volume down, just a bit. When the song ended, you finally took your chance to speak.

“You really like his music, don’t you?”

Nash nodded. “Mhm. He sounds like me.”

You chuckled and let the car fall to silence as you drove him home. 

“I missed you,” Nash suddenly blurted. 

“I missed you too,” you admitted honestly. “You’re a good singer.”

“You’re a good driver.”

“I’m only driving because you got drunk off your ass,” you reminded him, keeping your eyes on the road.

“Thank you for not crashing the car,” he said genuinely, like it was the most serious thank he could give you. “And driving me home.”

You sighed. “You’re welcome, Nash. Try to get some rest when you get home, okay? I’m sure you’ll feel shitty in the morning.”

“I’m gonna start now,” he said, earning another laugh from you. Nash slumped in his seat, and brought his hat down to cover his eyes. “Goodnight, darlin’. Don’t let the… Hozier bite.”

That last statement was so absurd that you couldn’t tell if you were laughing, coughing, or dying in response. 

You caught your breath, though still laughing quietly to yourself at what he’d said. 

“Goodnight Nash.”

You thought back to the times when you were younger, and the two of you would stay up late past when you were supposed to be asleep. Most of the time, the lack of sleep got to you and you’d both say the stupidest things. 

Maybe he wasn’t so different all these years later after all.

the writing above belongs to me. please do not copy, modify, repost on other sites or claim as your own. © 2024 wish-i-were-heather

[wonderbreadog]

[kindly asking exclusionists and anti mspec lesbians ppl to just scroll past this post, please! thank you so much /gen . hate will be deleted and/or blocked tbh i will not give you the time of day]

okay I started writing this really long personal post about my past and about coming to terms with being a butch bi lesbian and how difficult and confusing it was of a journey to even get to this point, especially because I've medically transitioned and am happy with how I present myself (I look like a cis man but am not one, the butch dysphoria was just a thing that I didn't realize I was experiencing) and with how I identify (genderfuck truly is the gender label ever literally none of this is real) but then I realized that I didn't like how it was worded at all so I'm making another one ...

this may not make sense and may have a bunch of typos but its late for me and this is raw and I'm happy and feeling good and want to share. I'm not even adding tags for reach cuz this is a personal post

but hey, damn, being a lesbian was this massive repressed part of my identity that has always been with me but tucked away deep into the depths of my brain where I could not reach it because I THOUGHT I was a bi man (then eventually a bi nonbinary person), but I can't ignore it anymore.

I am a lesbian. a bi lesbian.

I love women SO MUCH. I have always loved women. but I also love nonbinary people. genderqueer people. bigender/trigender/pangender people who have being a woman or being woman adjacent as part of their identities. I love genderfluid people. even MORE people that I can't fit here. and yes, I love men.

I am bi, but also very much a lesbian. and very, very much butch. 100% without a doubt I am butch and always have been.

deep inside of me I guess I always knew a large part of me still held on to being a woman - and it still does. I am not entirely separated from it, I am still very much one, but I am also everything in between and nothing at the same time; however, I am still very disconnected from being a man. I just like to present incredibly masculine and pass for one.

I can't explain it, but I played butterfly soup again with my partner recently and something happened, to put it bluntly. I found it in 2018 during my transition, and it woke something up in me (I just didn't realize it.) playing it again now, and reconnecting with the characters made me realize that man. yeah. yeah, I'm probably a lesbian and this game made me realize that. yeah.

it's difficult because I know not many people will understand my experience and probably won't ever. I'm trying to be okay with that. genuinely though, I just want to be left alone in my little corner of the internet waving my little lesbian flag and hugging myself and giving myself the much needed self love that I deprived myself of for so long.

I have had so much internalized lesbophobia and transphobia brewing inside of me these past 7 years that it's time I heal from it. embrace who I am, you know? I am one of the weirdest people on the planet and I should learn to be okay with that, cuz regardless I have several people who love me and that makes it all okay.

and, honestly, I understand myself more now and I don't need people to tell me that my personal experience was wrong. I have things I've gone through - deeply upsetting things - that I won't talk about. things that don't need to be said. I also won't be going into every intricacy of why the lesbian label fits me so well; unless we are very close, that shouldn't matter to you. I am just someone on the internet that you can ignore. THAT is too personal for this post, and I will not be disclosing those reasons publically (for now, anyway)

so ya, goodnight, I am horrified to post this and see what horrors await me when I wake

[bteezxyewriter12]

Soulmate/ 4

Pairing- Hobi x Named Reader

Word count- 3k

Includes- Angst, sort of cheating, but not ?, Heartbreak

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Series Masterlist 📝Masterlists

📝BTS Masterlist 📝Hobi Masterlist

Hobi POV

I glare at Dam-Bi

She's so damn annoying

Right now she's talking to Yoongi about something that she doesn't like in the song but Yoongi refuses to change it

Yoongi doesn't like her either and it's really funny watching him give her dirty faces while she's talking

I hear the door open and I turn to see Joanne walk in looking furious

I thought she was at work

I turn to her and open my mouth to speak

"What the fuck is this", she shouts throwing her phone at me

"What?", I ask, confused

Yoongi is looking shocked and

Dam-Bi is just silent watching

"What is that?", she yells, pointing at the phone

I look at the phone and my blood runs cold

"What, where did you get this?"

"WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS. THAT?", she screams, shaking with fury

"It's not what it looks like...", I try to explain

"Really Hoseok? Cuz it looks like you're cheating on me with her!", she points to Dam-Bi

Then she looks at Ashley and scoffs, "Seriously with her?"

I have a million thoughts running through my head but I didn't cheat on her

I would never cheat on her

"Were you never going to tell me? I had to find out from Yoongi?"

"What the hell? I didn't know anything about this Joanne. I would have told you sooner if I did.", Yoongi defends himself

"The pictures are from you Yoongi.", she growls

"I didn't send them. I swear! I didn't know", he argues

"Whatever. It doesn't matter."

She turns to me, "How could you do this Hoseok? Especially after Jimin did the same thing?"

"I didn't...I don't.." I say helplessly

"Um I'm going to leave" Yoongi says and quickly gets up and walks out, Dam-Bi following him

I look at Joanne and I see her trying so hard not to cry, my heart breaking

I'm not supposed to make her cry

I'm supposed to make her smile, make her laugh, make her happy

Not cry

"Joanne, I didn't mean for that to happen. She kissed me."

She laughs dryly, "Yea sure. It doesn't look like you're pushing her away."

"I....I was surprised at first but then I did push her away.", I explain

She came on to me and I told her no, I had a girlfriend

But then she kissed me and after I got over the shock, I pushed her away

"Three times? Your telling me she kissed you two more times after you pushed her away the first time? And that's only three times I know about."

"No. She kept trying..."

"Then why are you holding her hand in the other picture?"

"I..I...she took my hand.."

"And you held on to it instead of letting go., she finishes

"No. I mean..it did for a minute and then I let go. I thought she didn't realize what she was doing. It was awkward...."

"Of course it's fucking awkward, it's not me!", she shouts again, "But I guess you don't give a shit about that since you still held her hand and kissed her."

"I didn't kiss her, she..", I started

Joanne closed her eyes and a tear slides down her face

I want to wipe it away so much but I know she won't let me

"Did you sleep with her?", She whispers

"What?" I ask, shocked that she'd even think that

She opens her eyes and glares at me

I've never seen her so angry

"Did you fuck her?", she yells

"No! No! Of course not! I would never do that!" I say my voice rising

I would never

I didn't even kiss her

She did it to me and every single time I pushed her away and yelled at her

"No you'd just kiss her."

"I didn't.."

"Oh sorry. You just kissed her back. As if that makes a fucking difference."

"Joanne I didn't mean for this to happen...I didn't start this..."

"All this time you were complaining at home about her and I was making you feel better, but here you were kissing her and holding her hand..."

"Joanne no, it's not what it looks.."

"I'm such a fucking idiot", she says

"No you're not, just listen, please."

"Did you like kissing her?", she asks

"I..I.."

"Don't lie to me Hoseok" she says

"I..I..don't know"

"You don't know?", she mutters nodding her head

"Joanne, I..it was different...but it wasn't anything compared to you. Once I realized what was happening, I was focusing on getting her off me", I cry

"But you don't know if you liked it"

"I..I..", I stutter

I didn't even think of that

Did I like it?

I don't know

But it wasn't Joanne so I didn't want it

I just wanted her off me after I stopped being surprised

"Do you have feelings for her?", she asks, "Don't lie"

"No of course not. I wasn't lying when I complained about her. I don't like her at all. Not even as a person.", I tell her

I walk closer to her but she backs away from me and my heartbreaks

"Don't. Hoseok..don't. Stay there", she holds her hand out

I can't help it, tears start running down my face

How can I fix this?

I have to fix this

I can't lose her

I need her

I love her

"Joanne please...I love you", I say

"You have a shitty way of showing it."

"It's not like that. I pushed her away. I did"

"Yeah but after how long? Did you do it right after the picture was taken? Or did you do it ten minutes later? How do I know if you're lying?"

"Because I've never lied to you!", I yell panicking

I have never lied to her and I never will

Not even small white lies

Nothing

I've always been honest with her

"You didn't tell me about it. If you have nothing to hide why didn't you just tell me?"

"Bbbb....because I was afraid of how you'd react."

I was terrified this exact thing would happen

"But if you pushed her away like you say, you shouldn't have been afraid. You should have just talked to me the first time she kissed you. If you did it wouldn't have happened two more times."

"I know. I messed up. I'm sorry"

She just shakes her head, looking at me sadly

"I can't do this", she whispers

White hot fear slices through my body

"What? No. Baby please..."

"Don't.....don't call me that", she says

My heart stops at those words

"But..but you are my baby", I say shakily

She shakes her head, "Not anymore"

"No..no Joanne....please...I love you, please don't do this.", I beg

"I don't trust you J-Hope"

My heart shatters

She never called me J-Hope before

Ever

"Jo..", I say, crying hysterically now, "Please don't. I love you with all my heart. I need you"

"I don't trust you.", she repeats, "You hid this from me. Which means you have something to hide. You could have prevented the other two, but you didn't. You don't know if you liked kissing someone else. How can I be with you? I can't", she says, sobbing

I shake my head

All I want is her in my arms

All I want is to make her feel better and to assure her that all this means nothing to me.

"Joanne please. None of this means anything to me. The kisses, the hand holding, her- it means nothing. I don't care about any of it. I care about you. I love you. I want you. Please. Don't leave me", I beg

She shakes her head, "I can't. I don't believe you. What's to stop you from doing it again? Nothing"

"No! Don't go. Please"

"Have a nice life J-Hope.", she says as she turns around and leaves

"No! Joanne! Wait! Please! Don't!", I call going after her

She just keeps walking

I can tell she's crying

I sink to my knees as I watch her leave

I put my head in my hands and just cry, not believe I lost the most important thing in my life

If I had just told her this wouldn't have happened

I shouldn't have tried to hide it

I didn't do anything but I was scared

I should have just told her and this would never have happened

It's my fault and I have to find a way to fix it

🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️

J POV

I find a hotel to stay in, going straight to the bed and cry hysterically

I love him

Dammit I still love him

So much

Even after everything

Even after he ripped my heart out

I wish I could believe him

Maybe I could have when he said he pushed her away

I probably would have if he'd just told me when it happened the first time

But he didn't

And it happened two more times

That I know of

But then he said he didn't know if he liked it when she kissed him

How can I get over that?

How can I look past that?

How can I trust him?

Everything he said after that didn't matter

I know he loves me

I don't doubt that

But you can love someone and hurt them

And he did

I never thought this would happen

Not with Hoseok

I not only lost the love of my life, the best thing that ever happened to me but my best friend too

My sunshine

I'm alone

Again

---------------------------

The next day I don't get out of bed

I don't want to face the day so I don't

I can't stop crying

I feel like there's a hole where my heart used to be

My phone rings all day

It's mostly Hoseok

He calls or texts

"Joanne please talk to me"

"I'm sorry please don't do this aegi"

"I love you so much, I can't live without you"

"I need you"

"Please it was a mistake, I should have told you"

"It doesn't mean anything to me, only you do"

"Please answer the phone."

"I love you"

"Please"

I don't have the strength to answer

I want to go back to him so much

But I don't trust him

How can I be with someone I don't trust?

I can't

Everything would be so much worse

I can't be paranoid and can't be worrying every time he leaves

It'll kill me

And eventually he won't be able to take it either and we'd just be in the position we are in now

Apart

Hobi isn't the only one who texts me

Yoongi and Namjoon do too

"I'm sorry about everything Joanne. I really didn't send you those pictures. I think Dam-Bi did. She'd do something like that. She's been after Hoseok ever since she met him. But I didn't know anything about them kissing. I promise.", Yoongi sent

"Thanks Yoongi. I believe you", was all I texted back

It was all I could muster to write

Namjoon texted, "Hey Jo. I heard what happened. I'm so sorry. Are you ok? If you need anything I'm here for you"

"Thanks, I text back

I turn the phone off and go back to sleep

--------------------------

The next few days are hard

I have to find a new place to live and move all my stuff out of Hobi's apartment

He stopped texting me when I texted him, "I need to pack my stuff so tell me a time when you're not there so I can go"

"Joanne, no. Please. I love you"

"Hoseok I can't. I love you. So much. But I can't be with someone I don't trust. It won't work"

"But I don't want to be without you. You're my everything."

"You were mine too until you lied about this. You could have prevented this if you told me about the first kiss. But you didn't. And you kissed her back two more times."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I pushed her away! I did!"

"I know you did but after how long? If it wasn't immediately then it doesn't matter."

"I'm sorry. Please don't leave me"

"It's too late."

"Joanne.."

"Do you know how much it hurts when you said you don't know if you liked kissing her? It's like you ripped my heart out. Which you did. I could never imagine kissing anyone and liking it. It's not you and I wouldn't want it"

"I'm sorry I said that. I didn't mean it. I didn't know what to think. So much was happening at once. But those kisses don't matter to me. Only yours."

"No Hoseok. I love you but I can't. Just let me know when you're not going to be at the apartment so I can come get my stuff.

"Baby please"

"Bye Hoseok"

That text conversation killed me and I couldn't stop crying the whole day

But Hoseok didn't text me after that

I guess he knew it was over then

A few days later I found a small apartment I could afford

Hoseok still hadn't told me when to get my stuff so I texted Namjoon to ask him

"He said he's going to go visit his parents this weekend so you can go then. He says he can't watch you pack and move out and if he's anywhere there he'll try to stop you. He's leaving Friday morning"

"Ok thanks", was all I said

"Do you need help?", Namjoon texted me back, "I can help and I can get Yoongi to help too."

"No it's fine. I can do it.", I say

"You sure?"

"Yes"

I just want to be alone and get this shit done

---------------------------

I waited until noon on Friday to go to the apartment

I brought as many boxes as I could get

I also rented a moving truck and am driving that

I open the door and walk in, emotions hit me like a ton of bricks

It's the same as when I left

And that's what breaks me

I sink on the couch and cry so hard my body shakes

Why did this have to happen?

Why?

What did I do to deserve this?

What does she have that I don't?

What do all these girls have that I don't?

That makes my boyfriends cheat on me?

I take deep breaths until I've calmed down.

Then I start packing

I've been in the apartment for about an hour and a half when there's a knock on the door.

Wtf?

No one is supposed to be here

I warily go to the door, hoping it's not Hobi

But also hoping it is so I can see him one more time

When I open it, Namjoon and Yoongi are standing in the doorway

"Hey Jo.", Namjoon says

"Hi", Yoongi repeats

"What are you guys doing here?"

"We came to help.", Yoongi answers, "We figured you'd be here so we came."

"Oh that's nice of you but I'm ok-"

"Stop Jo. We want to help. Let us", Namjoon says

I'm too exhausted to argue, "Yeah ok."

Things move quicker with Namjoon and Yoongi here

I just told them to dump my stuff in any box

I really don't care, I'm just going to take it out tomorrow anyway

When I went to get stuff in the bedroom, I break down again

I just stand there looking at the bed Hobi and I used to sleep in, where he held me tight and I felt safe with him

I back up against the wall, the memories flooding me and I slide down it to the floor

I don't know how long I'm crying before I feel arms around me, pulling me into a hug

"I'm sorry Jo", Yoongi whispers to me

I turn and put my face in his chest and I just sob

Yoongi just sits with me, hugging me, letting me cry

I don't know when Namjoon comes in but I feel him next to me rubbing my back

"I know it hurts Jo, but it'll get better. It'll take time but it will", Namjoon says

I wish it didn't hurt

I wish this never happened

I wish I was here with Hobi, in his arm, feeling his kisses, hearing him say he loves me

But wishes don't come true

At least mine don't

When I finish crying, we all stand up and I'm ready to get this done

"I'm sorry about your shirt", I tell Yoongi

He smiles, "It's no problem"

"We're almost done. Just this room and then we can load the truck.", Namjoon says

We work quickly together throwing all my stuff in three boxes

Then Yoongi and Namjoon put the boxes in the truck

They won't let me lift any boxes

We drive to the new apartment and again they help me bring the boxes up

"Where's your bed?", Yoongi asks

"I don't have one yet. It's being delivered either tomorrow or the next day."

"Where are you going to sleep?"

"I bought an air mattress for now. It'll be fine.", I say

I was too exhausted to start unpacking so I told them I'd do it tomorrow

I tried to buy them food but they wouldn't let me.

"It's ok Jo. Don't worry about it"

I thanked them for the help and they left

I was alone again

I was going to be alone for awhile

---------------------------

Two months later

It's been a few months since I ended things with Hobi

I'm not much better

I'm still a wreck

I don't cry as much but I'm just so sad

I still think about him everyday, all the time.

I still love him as much as I did the day I realized I was in love with him

Stupid

I don't go out much

Just to work then home. I'll stop at a store if I need something but usually I just go home

I really don't want to be outside

I know I'm probably depressed but I can't summon the energy to care.

I know Namjoon and Yoongi are worried about me but whatever

As the months pass, I just get into the routine of going to work, coming home and sleeping

And that's what my pathetic existence has become

[just-some-random-blogger]

He wanted the Conqueror’s crown, it took his brother being burnt to get it.

Damn that's how aegon dies. Rip aegon he would have loved happy hour

He wanted a legacy that would surpass his lifetime, etched into the very being of Westeros itself. The sacrifice needed for this would be to chain himself to a woman he likely wouldn’t be interested in.

Okay get it I guess

You were sweet, he supposed. Sweet in a way that made his teeth ache. Sweet in a way akin to a mouse and how it looked up at the cat just before his jaws snapped around the mouse’s head. 

Okay homicidal maniac 😃👍

He didn’t need to like you. Many marriages were forged in dislike or just plain indifference, set to a mutual goal. He supposed your mutual goal was children. All he needed was to use you as a vessel, a womb for his seed to take hold. 

NO CUZ IM USUALLY SO SILLY FOR BREEDING KINKS BUT I MUST NO LONGER BE OVULATING HUH HAHAHAHAHH CUZ WHAT THE FUCK WAS RHAT

The marriage was a quick affair, done at the Sept two days after Aemond wore the Conqueror’s crown for the first time. You weren't a part of some major house, all of the major houses were too close, too greedy, their breaths hot against his neck as they shoved their wedable daughters at him.

Opportunist recognizes opportunist amirite

[...] a paltry lady of some low house bred in the Riverlands would do just fine, he expected his Valyrian seed to dominate any of their week genes anyhow.

😀✋ ur sick. What am I a dog?

He had met you once before, many years ago before he lost his eye. When he was forced to tag along on some meager diplomacy meeting with his grandsire– he remembers it as being forced, but in reality, he wished to attend. What else was a second son with no dragon to do? – and you had been there, hiding behind your father’s trousers. You had been wearing a blue dress, he remembered this distinctly, as it stood out against the ruby red of the apple you had offered him. 

you remember a lot for someone who doesn't give shit bruv dafaq?

He never understood why he remembered this girl, as you were insignificant in the seas of faces he’s met over his life.

LIKE I JUST FUCKING SAID

Mayhaps it was your quiet nature that he remembered, something that, now at his age and state of mind, struck him as malleable, easy to mold into what he needed you to be. 

This fucker still goin dafaQ

The council meeting had gone south, ending in most of the lords bickering over one another like children. 

I've realized boys don't really grow up, they just get louder, bigger and more audacious

The pain was debilitating at times and if anyone dared to test his patience when it was particularly bad, he would snap at them like a cornered animal, no matter who it was. 

Damn, you can scream through a headache???????????????? 😰😰😰 GO OFF IG?????

“… reading. I was waiting for you.” you murmured in your usual hushed tone, the sound of your book closing was louder than your voice. 

Damn, aemond has sonic hearing or smth 😭😭😭 that or she just slammed that book HARD

“You need proper rest. I won’t have my wife looking like a sleepless, sloven mess,” Aemond chastised, discarding his shirt.

First of all, shut the fuck up

“Now, what are you reading?” he was becoming increasingly irritated with you, feeling as if he had to force you to take care of yourself and unlatch you like a leech from him.

Second of all, I thought you didn't give a shit

When you looked upon him with your wide eyes filled with uncertainty and fear, he felt the overwhelming urge to wrap his fingers around your throat and squeeze until you passed out or mayhaps went limp, like a doll.

😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃👍 ok I fucking hate him this is gross but I'm sorry to say I'm into choking let's see how I feel after folks

Aemond’s brow furrowed. “What use do you have to learn High Valyrian, wife? Issa dōna ābrazȳrys mijegon nykeā notion isse zȳhon bartos, wanting naejot gūrēñagon mirros ziry daor.” My sweet wife without a thought in her head, wanting to learn something she cannot. 

“Come to bed,” he said, moreso as a command than a suggestion. “I know you are cold, ābrazȳrys.” Wife. 

I dont remember if I was disgusted or kinda 👀 with him HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHHAHAHHAHAHHA

He surely hoped that your children together would inherit his fiery blood and not the weak-willed, uninsulated Andal blood you possessed.

SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU RAT ASS STRING OF PISS THATS LITERALLY YOUR FAULT YOU CHOSE HER MISS ME WITH THAT BULLSHIT DAFAQ OH NOW IF IT ISNT THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS

Oh ho ho but you'll be glad to know you stupid fucker one eyed freak aemond that women you fuck are perpetually changed because of your shlong and cum. Yessir!! Esp if they get pregnant 🤩 like your DNA has the capacity to borderline alter her fucking DNA 🥰FOREVER🥰 isNT THAT AMAZING?!?!!!!! WOWWWWWWWW HOW GREAT FOR YOU U SACK OF SHIT. ID PULL OUT REFERENCES FOR THIS BECAUSE WOMEN SHOULDN'T DATE UGLY LOSERS FUCKING HELL AS IF WOMEN DON'T HAVE IT BAD ENOUGH But I'm lazy

Aemond bounced from being indifferent to you, paying you no more mind than a maid or a whore, to needing you, every part of you. He didn’t see you as a person, moreso an extension of himself, latched onto his body until he consumed you entirely, your bones fusing together as one. To him, you were a doll or plaything to entertain him, testing the mettle of your will, to see if you were of poor craftsmanship and would break. He had always broken his toys as a child.

Ok first of all... I'm kinda into being a rag doll daddy 😋 OOP I KNOW I KNOW BITE ME. second of all, AEMOND BROKE HIS TOYS AS A CHILD CANON? HEADCANON? IDK IDK I feel like he would take care of them UNLESS they were hand me downs from aegon, in which case aBSOFUCKINGLUTELY DESTROY THEM. But but also I kind of imagine him being look mother, I am so much better than 🤮ae🤢gon🤮

No, it wasn’t so much as a threat than it was a promise– he quite liked applying pressure to your airways when you coupled, his lone violet eye centered intently on yours as they went from wide to half-lidded, soft whimpers of pleading to stop, sometimes for more, more. He relished in holding your very life in his hands and you let him. 

Your honor I have nothing to save rather than 🫦🫦🫦🫦 ooh into choking are we daddy 😋😋😋

“Mayhaps I should get you a collar, wife,” he hummed, his voice husky and deep, reverberating deep within your chest as your heart pounded. “But I think you like my hands much better, don’t you?” 

Aemond all but growled at your comment, positioning the both of you to where you were laying with your back upon him, as if you were lazing upon him like a chair. “Feeling courageous tonight, are we? No matter, my dear, you will break all the same,” his mouth pressed to the shell of your ear, teeth nipping at your lobe. “Like every night before, and every night to come– your life is in my hands,” he enunciated this with a squeeze to your neck, eliciting a small mewl from you. “Is it not? Say it.”

“M-my king, your grace,” you rephrased quickly.

Damn he's kinky lmao but what do you expect from someone who grew up with a family wreath

Your mouth hung open, you were sobbing freely now, your lips quirked into a euphoric and maddened smile. “Thank you, tha-nk you, t-thank you, I love you, I love you,” you gasped, your lungs ballooning with air as you begged him further, “P-please, around my neck–” 

She like me fr

“My love, my wife– I love you.”

🙄 simp :p

To be completely clear, I really liked this ok. This is just my honest reaction lmao. You write beautifully with so much detail 😔 I wish, ya know

foxfaced, dragonhearted - oneshot.

dark, mean prince regent aemond x wife reader

for my 200 followers poll, i've actually had this one cooking for a while so i'm happy this option won! this is absolutely filthy, i'm sorry in advance.

word count: 2.4k

i don't do taglists any more unfortunately, its mostly because i never remember and then feel bad about it so i've made a second blog just for reblogging my fics! @huramuna-fics -- follow & turn on notifications for just my fic postings!

content: slight dub-con, smut (specifics below cut), angst, mean aemond, toxic relationship, like in no way is this healthy, good god, smut with little plot, reader is described being from riverlands w/ auburn hair and brown eyes, no use of y/n, not beta read, i literally went into a haze writing this there are probably mistakes

tonight you belong to me - patience & prudence • vampire - olivia rodrigo

warnings: p in v, choking, breath play, dom/sub, degradation, creampie, cockwarming, orgasm denial, breeding, aemond is so mean here thats its own damn warning

Aemond knew what he wanted and the sacrifices that needed to be made to get such things. He wanted a dragon, it took an eye to get it. He wanted the Conqueror’s crown, it took his brother being burnt to get it. He wanted a legacy that would surpass his lifetime, etched into the very being of Westeros itself. The sacrifice needed for this would be to chain himself to a woman he likely wouldn’t be interested in.

That is where you came in. 

You were sweet, he supposed. Sweet in a way that made his teeth ache. Sweet in a way akin to a mouse and how it looked up at the cat just before his jaws snapped around the mouse’s head. 

He didn’t need to like you. Many marriages were forged in dislike or just plain indifference, set to a mutual goal. He supposed your mutual goal was children. All he needed was to use you as a vessel, a womb for his seed to take hold. 

You poor thing, you didn’t really understand that he didn’t truly care for you. You were nice enough looking, of course– hair that reminded him of autumn leaves, always styled in some intricate style with half a hundred braids, dozens of pins and decorative pearls. You reminded Aemond of a fox, dark eyes against muted auburn fur, lips always pursed, sniffing the air in search for hounds on your tail. You certainly were a skittish, jittery little thing.

The marriage was a quick affair, done at the Sept two days after Aemond wore the Conqueror’s crown for the first time. You weren't a part of some major house, all of the major houses were too close, too greedy, their breaths hot against his neck as they shoved their wedable daughters at him. The last thing he wished for was to be indebted to some trivial lord who thought his name elevated him to the same stratosphere as Aemond– a paltry lady of some low house bred in the Riverlands would do just fine, he expected his Valyrian seed to dominate any of their week genes anyhow.

He had met you once before, many years ago before he lost his eye. When he was forced to tag along on some meager diplomacy meeting with his grandsire– he remembers it as being forced, but in reality, he wished to attend. What else was a second son with no dragon to do? – and you had been there, hiding behind your father’s trousers. You had been wearing a blue dress, he remembered this distinctly, as it stood out against the ruby red of the apple you had offered him. 

Aemond had tried to speak with you, but you only communicated in nods and soft noises– something you only partially grew out of. He never understood why he remembered this girl, as you were insignificant in the seas of faces he’s met over his life. Mayhaps it was your quiet nature that he remembered, something that, now at his age and state of mind, struck him as malleable, easy to mold into what he needed you to be. 

And so it shall be. 

–

It was about two and a half moons after your marriage, he returned from a late council meeting. Rubbing his eye, feeling the familiar thrum of pain right behind the socket, he was already in a particularly sour mood. The council meeting had gone south, ending in most of the lords bickering over one another like children. 

It irritated Aemond to no end, the strain of an oncoming headache ever looming. He still struggled with intense pain from his eye, or rather, his socket and severed nerves. The pain was debilitating at times and if anyone dared to test his patience when it was particularly bad, he would snap at them like a cornered animal, no matter who it was. 

Raising his head, he noticed the hearth was still going strong, multiple candles still lit in the solar, despite it being late at night. The now familiar crop of auburn hair was peeking from behind the couch— his wife was usually never up this late. 

“Why are you still awake, wife?” he asked as he took off his gloves, clenching and unclenching his fists. 

“… reading. I was waiting for you.” you murmured in your usual hushed tone, the sound of your book closing was louder than your voice. 

“I told you not to do that. It’s unnecessary.” he grunted in response, undoing the latches of his leather doublet. 

“I-I don’t mind it… I just sleep a bit easier…” you continued, no doubt twiddling the end of your braid between your fingers— an anxious habit.

“You need proper rest. I won’t have my wife looking like a sleepless, sloven mess,” Aemond chastised, discarding his shirt. “Now, what are you reading?” he was becoming increasingly irritated with you, feeling as if he had to force you to take care of yourself and unlatch you like a leech from him. When you looked upon him with your wide eyes filled with uncertainty and fear, he felt the overwhelming urge to wrap his fingers around your throat and squeeze until you passed out or mayhaps went limp, like a doll.

“Oh,” you slid the book towards him on the side table, it was a book on the history of Old Valyria and its language, usually used for children to begin speaking it. “Nyke j-jaelagon… naejot ēdrugon… va ao.” I wish to sleep next to you. 

Aemond’s brow furrowed. “What use do you have to learn High Valyrian, wife? Issa dōna ābrazȳrys mijegon nykeā notion isse zȳhon bartos, wanting naejot gūrēñagon mirros ziry daor.” My sweet wife without a thought in her head, wanting to learn something she cannot. 

You reached for the book, your comprehension not skilled enough yet to pull what Aemond was saying to you. Before you could grab it, he slammed his hand down on the book, effectively snatching it from your grasp. You pouted her bottom lip. “I want to learn… mayhaps it might bring us closer together.” 

Aemond scoffed, the sound sending a sting of pain right into the core of your chest. “We are as close as we need to be, little one. We are married in the eyes of Gods and men and we fulfill our marital duty by trying to produce heirs, hm?” He placed the book back on the shelf. “This nonsense of wanting to be closer is moot. I won’t hear of it anymore.” 

A glaze of sorrow flashed through your eyes before you got up from the couch, tightening the housecoat around your shoulders. 

“Come to bed,” he said, moreso as a command than a suggestion. “I know you are cold, ābrazȳrys.” Wife. 

You made a small noise of discernment, crawling into bed after him. 

He looped his arms around you, pressing you to his bare chest. He radiated heat like a furnace and was quick to warm you up– you were always so cold, he noted. He surely hoped that your children together would inherit his fiery blood and not the weak-willed, uninsulated Andal blood you possessed.

Aemond bounced from being indifferent to you, paying you no more mind than a maid or a whore, to needing you, every part of you. He didn’t see you as a person, moreso an extension of himself, latched onto his body until he consumed you entirely, your bones fusing together as one. To him, you were a doll or plaything to entertain him, testing the mettle of your will, to see if you were of poor craftsmanship and would break. He had always broken his toys as a child.

You could tell by the rhythm of his breathing, he wasn’t going to sleep just yet– you’d become very attuned to his moods, his small intakes of air against your neck causing your skin to prickle into goosebumps. His lips ghosted over your throat, one of his arms coming up to wrap near the base of your windpipe, not yet applying pressure, but the threat was there. 

No, it wasn’t so much as a threat than it was a promise– he quite liked applying pressure to your airways when you coupled, his lone violet eye centered intently on yours as they went from wide to half-lidded, soft whimpers of pleading to stop, sometimes for more, more. He relished in holding your very life in his hands and you let him. 

“Mayhaps I should get you a collar, wife,” he hummed, his voice husky and deep, reverberating deep within your chest as your heart pounded. “But I think you like my hands much better, don’t you?” 

“Y-yes,” you breathed, the small swallowing bob of your throat felt against the palm of his hand, causing him to grin. “... I fancy them– on my tender neck… between my legs…” you responded, feeling slightly bold at the notion you put forth. The heat of his body permeated your skin, warming your core into an ever familiar feeling.

Aemond all but growled at your comment, positioning the both of you to where you were laying with your back upon him, as if you were lazing upon him like a chair. “Feeling courageous tonight, are we? No matter, my dear, you will break all the same,” his mouth pressed to the shell of your ear, teeth nipping at your lobe. “Like every night before, and every night to come– your life is in my hands,” he enunciated this with a squeeze to your neck, eliciting a small mewl from you. “Is it not? Say it.”

“M-my life– belongs to you, husband,” you managed to squeak out.

“Not husband, not now. You know the rules.”

“M-my king, your grace,” you rephrased quickly.

He clicked his tongue in slight admonishment. “A bit slow on the take tonight, little one,” Aemond muttered, slotting his leg between yours and kicking your thighs apart. “Keep them open.” his voice was dripping with something between venom and sticky sweet honey. He felt akin to a God every time he was in the sky, every time he sat the throne with the crown on his head, and every time he rested his hand on your pretty little throat as he sheathed himself to the hilt inside of you so easily, so free of resistance. “So slick for me, just from the smallest of chokes– fucking whore.” he hissed, starting a slow, deliberate pace as his hips met against your bottom. The pair of you were like two threads, intertwined with his legs pretzeling around yours, keeping you spread open. 

Your breath hitched in your throat as he continued to bully that sensitive, spongy spot within you– but you craved so much more, feeling waves of heat emanate from your sensitive bud as it screamed at your brain, begging to be touched. You made the critical error, thinking your husband was too focused on his own pleasure to notice you going for your own, as your hand slowly descended between your legs, rubbing small circles upon your pearl.

How wrong you were.

His arm came up further, his bicep pressing to the bottom of your chin, his free palm slapping your hand away from yourself. “Are you truly fucking stupid tonight, wife?” he spat, stilling his thrusts. “When did I say you could touch yourself? Have I fucked you stupid already?” Aemond huffed in frustration. “My poor, dumb wife– you cannot do anything right, can you?” he slid you off of him, then flipped over to loom atop you, taking both of your hands within one of his, his large hand encapsulating your wrists with ease, trapping them above your head. 

You sniffed, tears welling at your lash line, threatening to spill– not just from his downright mean admonishments, but from your stolen gluttony, your pleasure stolen so close to the precipice. “‘M sorry, your grace,” you cried, “Forgive me.”

“You’re lucky you have such a sweet cunt,” Aemond mused, his immodest and downright sinful language going straight to your core as he nestled inside of you once more, menacing atop you like a darkening cloud. “I forgive you– and will even pleasure you. That’s what you want, isn’t it? To come?”

You nodded fervently, your lamenting tears spilling over and running down your cheeks.

“I’m feeling quite generous, then– I’ll let you. If you beg me.”

“P-please–” you blubbered, “Please let me come, my king.”

A sickly smirk came over his face once more as he pushed forward again, not bothering with the slow and meticulous pace he had before. His hips slammed into yours as he surged into you, as if you were nothing more than a cocksleeve for his pleasure. And yet, and yet– his hand didn’t move to the apex of your legs, chasing his own high before he would give into yours.

“Aemond, please, please– please touch me, f-fuck, your grace– my k-king, please!” you were all but wailing now, half in ecstasy and half in pure beseechment, pleading for just some semblance of the lecherous, stimulating and lewd sensation that only he could give you.

He took mercy on you, the pad of his thumb zeroing in on your leaking folds, giving your clit a cheeky pinch. It was a delightful pain– that was what being with Aemond was, what it came down to. Every waking moment with him was thrilling, sublime, agonizing, unending torture– and you fucking loved it. 

Your mouth hung open, you were sobbing freely now, your lips quirked into a euphoric and maddened smile. “Thank you, tha-nk you, t-thank you, I love you, I love you,” you gasped, your lungs ballooning with air as you begged him further, “P-please, around my neck–” 

Something animalistic came out of Aemond at your request, his hand draping around your throat like a necklace. “My sweet, dumb wife– you don’t know what to do unless I tell you, unless I let you, unless I guide you to your release, hm?” he prostrated each word with a deep thrust. The combination of his ministrations on your bundle of nerves, the head of his cock callously beating into your sweet spot, and the squeeze of his hand around your neck– it was enough. 

With a garbled string of words, prayers, denotes of love, pronouncements of his prowess, his titles, his name– the coil inside of you snapped, lighting every nerve you had in your body on fire. You saw stars as your climax wracked through you like a tempest, the absolute vice grip of your core sending Aemond into his own completion, his seed painting your walls and then some.

In your fucked-out delirium, you thought you might’ve heard him say something– you didn’t decipher it until later when you were half asleep, his softened member still lodged inside of you somehow as he curled you into his chest.

“My love, my wife– I love you.”

[snarkelf]

We listenin to the Rocketman soundtrack all the way through again gang

[encanto17]

Some Headcanons/Fanfic Inspos About Julieta & Agustín's Relationship ;)

Ok so I'm hoping this sounds good cuz I've never written anything like this, and feel free to do with them what you want. If you write a full-length fic you can (don't have to) tag me, but I would love to see it XD I might write a few "real" fics later on here and/or when I get an AO3 account, but until then, enjoy these! Also, I'm really sorry if there's a lot here. I got excited to write this XD I guess you can consider this just a fanfic plot without dialogue and things XD

These aren't really based off of the movie so don't come at me, this is just for fun and to write some ideas down. There might be some Encanto spoilers too!!!

Before:

Agustín was born in Bogotá to Spaniard parents, and he had three older sisters

His family was upper-class

While he had heard stories of the "Encanto", no one really believed them because they were viewed as local legends

He was always a bit clumsy and sometimes a little stupid, but he was very kind and friendly to everyone

He never really had a love interest while growing up, but he did love nature (except bees. He was allergic to bees.)

Being fully honest, he struggled to get along with his family

He ended up studying to become a biologist, and he was traveling throughout South America for his studies

How They Met:

He got a little lost once when he was around 20, and he ended up in a small, isolated town

While in town, he was attacked by bees... so that didn't go so well

A group of young children of the village started yelling for "Julieta" because she could take care of him

When Agustín saw her, he instantly fell in love

She handed him a buñuelo and he was shocked that his bee stings felt better

Julieta refused to tell him of her powers knowing that he was an "outsider" and was afraid that news of the town would get out

That didn't matter because the kids told him all that was up

He honestly didn't care about the magic or powers, he just loved Julieta with all his heart

He stayed in town until night fell, and because he was a little lost, a local family let him stay for the night

He used this as an opportunity to win over Julieta by staying in town for a few days to research a "special flower"- there was no special flower, he just wanted to stay there

On the third day of his visit, he saw her and her sister, Pepa, in town and so he took the opportunity to make his mark

Julieta thought he was sweet but not much else

Dating:

Pepa jokingly convinced her sister to go on a date with him, so she obliged

While Agustín was very excited, Julieta was doing it mostly for the laughs

They had a romantic dinner that night, and afterwards, Julieta realized that she might like him back

They spent the next two days hanging out, with Julieta still playing hard to get, but she introduced him to her family

The family mostly liked him, though Julieta's brother, Bruno, was a little worried he just wanted her healing food

Finally, he decided it was time to go home, so Julieta confessed her love for him, and made him promise to return to the Encanto

For the next year, they communicated with love letters

On the one year anniversary of their first letter, Agustín surprised Julieta with his first visit

While there, he learns that Pepa has a boyfriend herself, from the town

Her boyfriend is a bit of a romantic, and Agustín becomes worried that Julieta would look for someone more like him, and so he gets very clingy and gives her a lot of gifts

After a week-long trip, he returns to Bogotá for three months, still communicating with letters, before he moves to a town near the Encanto to be near Julieta but not *too near*

Now that he can see her two or three times a week, he bonds with her family and friends, epescially Félix, Pepa's boyfriend

He kind of struggled to bond with Bruno, however, even though Bruno had warmed up to him

Their personalities were so different that they just kinda were awkward and had clumsy conversations

After two years of living near Julieta, he receives Alma's permission to marry

Engagement & Wedding:

He surprises Julieta in a romantic little spot near his village and she, of course, says yes

They spend the first three months of their engagement as they had the past two years, as they work out the details of their wedding

For the next three months, Agustín stayed in Bogotá packing up his things

Towards the end of that time, Julieta visits him for a week

This is the first time that she meets his family, and while they get along, the family would prefer that they didn't get married

With this in mind, they agree to not share the news about her magical gift

Then, for the next six months, Agustín returns to his village near hers

Pepa takes this time to work on adding some new space to Casita

Bruno tried to communicate with his brother-in-law more, and they figured out how to be friends, even though Agustín didn't necessarily understand him

Finally, they get married at the local church, and Agustín's family decides not to come because this village was "too low-class"

Of course, Pepa is Julieta's maid of honor

In keeping with tradition, Agustín asks Bruno to be the best man, but he denies due to nerves, so Félix ends up taking that position

The flower girl and ring bearer are from the group of kids that saw Agustín with the bees

While the ceremony is calm and traditional, the reception is full-on chaos and fun

During the reception at Casita, Bruno goes up and hides in his room because it was too noisy, but Félix goes and gets him

Later on in the night/early morning, after many have gone home, Félix ends up proposing to Pepa (and of course she says yes, too!)

They end up skipping the honeymoon but choose to explore the village more

The Early Years of Marriage:

The first four years of marriage were fairly calm

Two years into it, Félix and Pepa get married

Agustín and Félix became absolute best friends, bringing chaos into every situation

As time goes on, Agustín warms up to Bruno's "quirks", somewhat because Félix insisted that he was included in every adventure

Agustín and Julieta went on a lot of romantic double dates with Félix and Pepa

Three years after the wedding, Agustín takes Julieta to Bogotá for a week to see his family and meet his newest nieces and nephews

It turns out his family still wasn't very happy with him, so after three days, they went to explore the city, keeping Julieta and her family and village a secret

A few months after that, Julieta finds out that she is pregnant, and Agustín cannot wait to be a papá

He was very nervous, and was constantly taking care of his wife and baby

He always hoped for a daughter

When baby Isabela was born, he was so excited to have a little girl

He was very protective of his baby, and carried her everywhere

His theory is that, the reason why she has flowers as her gift, is because of the lie he told Julieta so that he could stay in the village

After her Gift Ceremony, Agustín admitted to his family that that was a lie

Ok so I hope that was good!!! I know that was choppy and things but hopefully that can give you some ideas, and maybe give me some ideas too XD If you want any expansions on any of this, or ideas for future hcs, let me know! Thank you for reading!!! :D

[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 2*

Part 1

Part 3

Y'all IDK what it is about this story but I can just write and write and write. This one ended up being 11 pages [on a google doc] And I only stopped because it's 2:15 am.

I hope you guys like this, but I just want to clarify: This isn't a Barisi fic. I'm sorry, if you're looking for that, just...this isn't it. I mean they do interact and it'll be fun, but they will not be ending up together.

That being said, enjoy this new chapter! I'm debating on how pathetic enamored Sonny is, I don't think I'm gonna go that deep. No worries, people.

As always let me know if you want to be added/deleted off the tag list!! <3

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

-------

"Y/N, I'm so happy for you and Barba. You make the cutest couple," Sonny beamed at you while you were wrapped in Rafael's arms, huge smiles on all of your faces.

"Thank you Sonny, that means so much." You gave him a warm hug.

"Yeah….and you'll make the cutest couple in HELL!" All of a sudden Sonny pushed both you and Rafael off a cliff.

You were falling to your death when you woke up to your professor glaring at you.

"Have a nice nap, Miss Y/N?" He scowled at you.

"Um," You cleared your throat and straightened up at your desk. "Yes sir,"

"Good," he huffed as he headed to the front of the classroom once more. "Maybe now we can continue without your snoring,"

You heard the students around you snicker at his comments as You sunk lower into your desk and waited for class to end. It had been a long train ride home and then a drive to your apartment last night, you hadn't gotten home until around 2 am and had this 8 am class. As soon as the professor dismissed your class you booked it out of the class and out into the parking lot of your community college.

"Ugh, could this day get any--" before you could even finish your thought you got your answer. Your phone beeped with a text from Rafael:

RAFA: Hey killer, how's the bullshit county? 😉

That was the nice thing, then just as you were about to text him back your phone lit up.

SONNY BOI CALLING

"Shit!" You hissed to no one. "How does he know?!"

"Ahem….Heyyy, cuz," You answered it with your best nonchalant voice. That of course sounded totally chalant.

"Hey sunshine," His voice sounded relaxed, thank God.

"What's up?" You tried keeping your tone light as you neared your car.

"Well y'know I was just thinkin, I feel real bad about standing you up last night,"

"Oh, Son it's no big deal really," the fact that he felt guilty about anything made you feel even more guilty.

"No, I know you have a busy schedule and it takes a lot to get into the City and I just blew you off," He kept on with the guilt train.

"You didn't blow me off Son you had work. I get that--" You unlocked your car and got in, starting it so your windows would thaw. And your whole body.

"Well I wanna make it up to you," He cut you off.

"Oh?" your voice fell short. This couldn't be good.

"Yeah, my boss-- well he's not really My boss but Mr. Barba--"

Oh shit. Barba? Was Barba having a party? Why wouldn't He tell you that? Wait why WOULD he tell you that? Stupid. Wait, what was Sonny saying?

".... birthday, so you could be like my date," you caught the tail end of his invite.

"Birthday?" You repeated like a parrot. It was Barba's birthday? Oh god. You were really trying not to focus on how old he was. Don't ask. For the love of god don't say it Sonny.

"Yeah don't worry you don't need to get him anything, I got it covered," Sonny assured you.

Well, that was one way you could figure out just how much your cousin cared about his "idol". The more expensive the gift, the stronger the feelings were. You wondered whether you should ask him now or wait for the surprise. Maybe you should ask now, then his answer should tell you what you'd be getting into.

*So what did you get this 'non boss' of yours?" You asked slyly.

"Oh," now Sonny's voice dropped. "Well I, I don't wanna say,"

Fuck.

Don't panic. Do not panic.

"Oh come on Sonny," you did your best to keep a joking tone. "What am I gonna do, tell him?"

Should you joke about it? Hidden in plain sight, right?

"No I guess not, it's not like you know him,"

Whew.

"It's just kinda embarrassing…."

Oh god.

"O-Oh?" You tried to stay calm. "Why's that? Is it a gag gift?"

Please be a gag gift.

"Actually it's a new briefcase," He replied.

"Oh why is that embarrassing you goof?” You gave him a hard time. What was that in the emotional baggage department? Pun intended.

"I mean, it's more expensive than the one I own," You could hear the shrug in his voice.

Fuck. Don't ask why. Don't ask. But if you don't ask, that will be even more suspicious wouldn't it?

"Oh Son," You asked softly. "Why would you do that?"

"Well the one he has is as old as dirt, I think it's probably the first one he ever bought. I wanted him to look snazzy in court." He replied with a super eager tone.

"That's sweet," you were pounding your steering wheel in frustration. Say it.

"Seems like a lot of work for a mentor though," You closed your eyes mentally killing yourself.

"Yeah well," he laughed uncomfortably.

Say it.

"Sonny…” You didn’t want to do this.

“Yeah?” He was oblivious.

“You know you can always talk to me,”

“Yeah of course,” He assured you.

“About anything,” You scrunched your nose.

“Yeah I know, sunshine,” He half laughed.

“ANYTHING,” You reiterated

There was a long awkward pause.

“...Sonny?” You made sure he hadn’t hung up on you.

“Yeah, I'm here,” He replied softly.

“So?” You waited for the bomb to drop.

So…. He sighed. "I just want him to like me,"

Dammit.

"....Yeah," You nodded, cursing yourself.

"Yeah, its stupid. I'm stupid." He laughed again.

“You're not stupid,” you laid your head on the steering wheel in shame.” I mean the heart wants what it wants right?”

“What?! Oh my god, Y/N,” He scoffed. “I'm not gay,”

“….Sonny it's 2021,” you shook your head. “Sexuality is a spectrum,”

Right well. He laughed defensively. "I'm on the p in the v scale,"

“Ugh, Sonny,” you made a face.

“Sorry sunshine,” He apologized. “I just...why would you even think that?!”

“Uh…” You paused.

Maybe he wasn't fully aware that he had romantic feelings for Rafael. If you started pointing out the signs, he might realize it. But then you'd have a cousin going through gay panic AND then finding out it doesn't matter anyway.

"No reason," You lied.

"I just want him to like him so he'll give me a good recommendation once I graduate Fordham Law,"

"Oh" you smacked your head. "Duh. Right. Of course,"

That was completely legitimate. Maybe you had been misreading this whole thing. Now you just had the whole overprotective Gotti side of Sonny to worry about.

"Well I guess I could spend the weekend in the city," You shrugged as you pulled out of the parking lot.

“Absolutely!” He exclaimed. “My couch is always open,”

Not exactly where you were thinking of sleeping, but you weren't blowing your cover over the phone. Wait, maybe you should. Then he couldn't kill you over the phone. Wait, he's presumably at work right now. You didn't know how closely he worked with Barba, but you figured it would be a hell of a lot easier for Sonny to get to him before you could stop him from killing Rafael.

"Sure sounds good. I'll see you then cuz,” You smiled and hung up the phone.

------

Friday arrived, and you once again found yourself standing outside Forlini's. You debated heavily whether to go in or not, but you told yourself you were going to wait for Sonny outside this time, no more risking a sexy bar rendezvous.

You hadn’t really responded to Rafael’s texts the last few days, and you certainly didn’t tell him you were coming. Maybe you should have told him. You grabbed your phone to text him when you heard a familiar voice behind you:

“Y/N?”

You spun around to see Rafael dressed to the 9’s, smiling at you. He smelled delicious, mixed with the food aroma wafting out of the restaurant and the smell of freshly fallen snow in New York City.

“...Happy Birthday, Counselor,” You bit your lip nervously.

“W-What are you doing here?” He stared at you as if he thought he was dreaming.

“Sonny invited me,” You nervously smiled.

“Seriously?” He laughed.

“Seriously,” You nodded with a laugh as well.

“Did-- did you say anything to him?” He asked you worriedly.

“Are you insane?!” You hit him. “No!”

“So why did he invite you here?” He asked.

“He said it was to make up for ditching me the other night,” You shrugged.

“...The irony,” He smirked.

“Mmm,” You nodded with an amused smile.

“Well this is a very happy birthday indeed,” He smiled, pulling you closer into his coat similar to the night you had met.

“....Just don’t ask which one it is,” He warned you while staring at your lips deviously.

“Deal,” You nodded in agreement before he pulled you into a hungry kiss.

“DUDE!!” You snapped back before his lips were on yours for more than a millisecond. “Are you nuts?! Sonny’s gonna be here any second!”

“It’s my birthday, carino,” He made a pouty face. “Don’t yell at me,”

“Oh lord,” You rolled your eyes. “Alright, man child,”

He was about to go for another sneaky kiss when you both heard a voice from behind you.

“....Sunshine?”

“Oh!” You jumped ten feet away from Rafael when you turned to see Sonny standing there with a huge gift bag, staring slack jawed at the two of you. “Sonny! I um, we--”

“I was teaching your cousin a lesson in New York safety,” Rafael talked over you, his face completely stone. God he was a good liar.

“Excuse me, counselor?” Sonny raised an eyebrow, glancing between the two of you. You just stared in speechlessness.

“She was standing on this curb holding her bag out for any miscreant on these streets to just wrestle away from her, I was just demonstrating how,” He gestured to your open purse.

“Barba I really think this ain’t that kinda neighborhood,” Sonny half laughed.

“...You never know,” Rafael shrugged. “Now let’s all get inside, I’m sure everyone is anxious to start celebrating me,”

You and Sonny both rolled your eyes with smiles; too similar of smiles, you noticed. Thankfully, he did not. You both followed Rafael back to a private room where a bunch of fancy dressed people were mingling with drinks in their hands while two long empty tables stood in the middle of the room. They all stopped and clapped when Rafael walked in.

“Oh, for me?” He feigned surprise and humility.

“Yeah right Barba,” A woman laughed sarcastically. “You’re the one who invited us here,”

“Touche, Rita,” Rafael smirked as he began making the rounds around the table greeting everyone.

“So are we allowed to eat now, I’m starving,” An older man asked.

“And I’ve got a son waiting,” A red headed woman chimed in.

“Right, right,” Rafael nodded as people began to take seats. “Sorry everyone, you know I love to make a dramatic entrance,”

“Oh trust me we know, Barba,” Another man called. “Your catwalks into the courtroom prove that. I think we have a montage of them,”

“Ha Ha,” Rafael rolled his eyes, then turned to you and Sonny.

“Sonny,” He put a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you sit next to me?”

“R-Really, counselor?” You saw Sonny’s eyes light up like Christmas tree lights.

Fuck. You knew he was only asking him so that you would sit next to him as well. And while you loved the idea, you knew how much this was toying with Sonny’s feelings.

“A-Are you sure, about that Mr. Barba?” You gave him a look.

“Absolutely, Miss-- I didn’t catch your name?” He played it so cool.

“Y/N,” You held out your hand as you re-introduced yourself.

“Right, well--” He shook your hand then turned his attention to Sonny who was still beaming like a kid on Christmas. “I don’t know how much Carisi has told you, but he is quite the promising mentee of mine,”

“....R-Really, Rafael?” Sonny blinked in disbelief, causing Rafael’s smile to falter for a moment. Sonny had never called him “Rafael” before, it was always “Barba”. Shit, maybe he had given him too much praise.

“I mean, you know, for a lap dog,” He quickly added with a snarky tone and a smirk.

“Mr. Barba!” You tried not to raise your voice at the birthday boy. “That is my cousin you’re talking ab---”

“No, no it’s fine Y/N-- th-that’s how we work isn’t it, counselor? He just gives me jabs, I know he doesn’t mean it,” Sonny laughed nervously, staring at the floor. He knew not to get too comfortable with Barba, why did he even try it?

“Indeed,” Rafael nodded in agreement. “But, I still request you sit by me-- at least I know you don't poison my food. Which is more than I can say for many of my esteemed ‘guests’,” He eyed the tables of people before him.

“Then why invite them to your party?” You quirked an eyebrow.

“I get that Jersey doesn’t have the social classes of Manhattan, Miss Y/N,” He smirked. “But here, you’ve got to do things to keep up appearances,”

“Oh do you?” You practically growled.

“Yes,” He nodded while a waiter brought him a glass of scotch. “Even if you don’t like someone, if they serve a purpose for you than you do what you must to keep in their good graces,”

“Oh is that so? So you’re only kind to people who can ‘serve’ you?” You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes at him.

What kind of Danny Zuko bullshit was this?! This was an entirely different Rafael Barba you had met the other night. He was kind, flirty, endearing. This new Barba was snarky and condescending, and you were not amused at all.

“Y/N, chill,” Sonny hissed at you. “This is just how Barba is, he’s harmless,”

“Yeah well you might not mind being his doormat Sonny, but I sure as hell won’t be,” You angrily stomped off.

“Oh my god,” Sonny muttered, wondering if he should run after you or not. “Barba, I am so so sorry about her,”

“It’s fine, Carisi,” He watched you stomping away, trying to hide the guilt in his voice. He was just trying his best to throw Sonny off the trail. He may have overcompensated just a tad.

“I-I should go check on her, She’s just a kid--”

“No, allow me,” Rafael put a hand to Sonny’s chest. “It was my faux paux, I should apologize to her myself. I was being a bit of an ass,”

“Yeah but that’s just you, Barba,” Sonny chuckled, trying not to blush at Rafael’s hand on his chest.

“True, but I forget not everyone knows me as well as you do, Carisi,” And now he was trying to be extra nice to Sonny to get on his good side, while cluelessly egging on his feelings.

“That is very true,” Sonny laughed even more nervously. “I’ll uh, I’ll take a seat and get our drinks ordered,”

“Excellent,” Rafael smiled at him, probably one of five times in the entire time they’d known each other. He gave Sonny one more pat on the back before walking after where you had stomped off to.

He found you right before you hit the front door, his hand catching yours before it could grab the handle. You turned and scoffed at him, your scowl still present after stomping off.

“Oh, come to appease me, counselor? How can I be of service to you?” You snapped.

“Please, Y/N,” He gave you apologetic eyes as he pulled you closer to him. “I’m sorry, I just-- I didn’t want Carisi to think anything was off. He already caught us being handsy, I had to make it look like we disliked each other,” He explained.

“Oh I think you’ve done that above and beyond, jackass,” You huffed. “First I’m too stupid to not get robbed in the city, and then I’m too uncultured to understand ‘high society’ manipulative bullshit?”

“I’m sorry, I may have gone a little over--” He started.

“But that wasn’t even an act, was it?” You interjected angrily.

“What do you mean?” He asked you curiously.

“Your line of you having ‘use’ of a person? I assume that is why you have a room full of powerful people you dislike as opposed to a room full of sycophants?” Yeah, you might just go to community college but you knew big words too.

“I mean, that is how it works--”

“Jesus Christ,” You shook your head with a laugh. “You know I understood for about half a second why my cousin is so infatuated by you, but I am losing that belief real quick,” You turned and started to walk away again.

“Y/N come on,” He grabbed both of your arms this time and pulled you close into him, your noses almost touching.

“Look I’m-- I’m sorry, that I’m---this,” He gestured to himself.

“But that’s just how I have to be in their world,” He gestured back towards the room. “I’m telling you, it’s a room full of sharks. If I show weakness or misstep in decorum, I’m nothing but chum to those people,”

“The guy you met the other night, that’s the real me,” He put a hand to your cheek. “I never get to be that guy, not in public. That’s why I was so attracted to you,” He put his other hand on your waist.

“I don’t have to be ‘Rafael Barba, the snarky ADA with a silver tongue,’ I can just be…’Rafa’,” He gave you an earnestly sad smile.

“I’m sorry,” You blinked in confusion. “I know I’m not helping myself but what exactly is the ‘ADA’?”

Your question brought that familiar amused grin and a laugh. “See, this is what I’m talking about,”

“Oh yeah I know, the ignorant girl you can placate--”

“No,” He put a finger on your lips. “The earnest, normal, gorgeous girl,” He kissed your forehead. “I’m sure if we took a poll in here right now the majority of the room would be with you, not knowing what an ADA is,”

“Which still doesn’t answer the question,” You pointed out.

“I…” He tried to think of a way to explain his role in the Manhattan judicial system. “Well, the DA of the county is like-- the King of Lawyers in that section. Or queen, as my boss is Rita,” He shook his head with a laugh. Oh Rita Calhoun, the stories he could tell about her.

“So, you’re her king?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Eh, I’d say Prince but she’d probably say Jester if she heard this metaphor to be honest with you,”

“Mmm I like that,” You finally let yourself smile at him.

“A Prince?” He grinned.

“The Jester,” You gave him a tongued smile, settling against his chest.

“Well, I’ll gladly take that title if it makes you happy,” He kissed your forehead. “I’d do anything to make you happy right now,”

You looked into his green eyes, they were now their usual sparkling green hue, and you remembered very quickly how you had gotten yourself in this mess in the first place. He really was a sweet, charming, gorgeous guy. And then you remembered those were probably all the reasons Sonny fell for him too.

“Ahem.” You straightened up and stepped out of his grasp. “Well, what would make me happy right now is getting back to my cousin,”

“Oh,” Rafael’s eyes softened into a sad gaze.

“Rafael, I think he really likes you,” You bit your lip with guilt. “And you toying with him just now isn’t helping!”

“Toying with him?” Rafael’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion? “I wasn’t toying with--”

“Sit by me, Carisi? You’re important to me, Carisi?” You imitated his questions in a mocking tone.

“I had to ask him that so you would--” He started to explain, but you already knew.

“I know!” You stopped him. “I know, that’s why it’s so fucked!” You put your hands over your face.

“Carino…” Rafael walked over and pulled your hands from your face and held them.

“I’m hurting him every second that I stand here with you, and I--” You bit your lip trying not to cry. “I’m still doing it! I can’t walk away!”

“So don’t,” He squeezed your hands with an even sadder look.

“This is just--” You broke free from his grasp once again and wiped your eyelids. “We need to get back before Sonny comes after you,”

“....So where does this conversation leave us, then?” He asked you cautiously.

“I don’t…” You gazed into his puppy dog emerald eyes. “I don’t know, I don’t want to think about it right now, okay?”

“Fair enough,” He put his hands down in concession. “...But we really need to--”

“Yeah, I know,” You nodded softly as you walked back to the private room, Rafael trailing behind you.

All you could think on the way back was how in God’s name were you going to make it through the rest of the night.

[tales-of-sweets]

Tales of Symphonia Thoughts Pt. 4

Not much has happened cuz I've mostly been grinding but its time for a Symphonia update. Also, from now on I will be tagging all of my posts with Jun Plays Symphonia so block that tag if you don't want my random playthrough thoughts/updates. Gonna put it under the cut from now on because it's long👇🏾

Anyway, the most important matter: I HATE THE SHIP SO MUCH, I HATE IT! THIS IS HORRIBLE, THE CONTROLS ARE SO BAD AAA! Secondly, I am on day 3 or so of wanting to waterboard Zelos. I really do not like him so far but I keep telling myself that he's probably going to turn into a favorite because the same thing happened with the two other flirty, self-praising characters I used to hate (Vespy Raven and Persona 2 Eikichi, the latter of which he reminds me of more). At least he is kinda funny, and he's not wrong, he IS pretty. He keeps saying some concerning stuff on occasion though, I think he needs a therapist and some warm milk or something.

I was informed by my friend that in Japanese it actually says "hunny" any time Zelos says bud. We love a bisexual king always but also sir you are very embarrassing and imma need to ask you to stop. Regal is a precious little blueberry muffin of a man, there is nothing I wouldn't do for him. When he made that pun to the secret notebook guy and then started blushing afterwards I wanted to punch a hole into my TV screen and yank him out of it and shake him around (affectionately). I guess I like the characters that are quiet and look sad because him and Kratos are my favorites atm. I wonder what his connection to Presea is. I'm torn between "That's his little sister" and "He wants to get close to her so he can betray us and try to hurt her". Keeping an eye on him... Also I don't exactly know how I feel about us taking him prisoner? Like, I know he is already a prison and he also tried to attack us but taking him prison, forcing him to fight for us, and blackmailing him with not being able to talk to Presea if he doesn't do what we say feels kinda messed up. Also I hate his stupid little bra shirt. What sort of weird prison was he in with a uniform like that?? I was left muttering "What the fuck" to myself over and over after finding out Presea has been living with the corpse of someone she doesn't even realize is dead. Like they've just laid there decaying for lord knows how long and she didn't even notice, that's so... I am at a loss for words. Yikes. I miss Kratos so much. I wish they showed a bit more how Lloyd was feeling about all of this, he seemed like he was getting close to Kratos. I want to know what him and his beautiful evil friend are up to. I get the sense that he whatever it is he doesn't really want as much of a part in it as he seems to have to play.

I'm a little worried that something is wrong with Colette again... she also tripped and fell and reacted strangely at one point. I think Kratos also mentioned something about wanting to remove her keycrest. I wonder if it's having some sort of weird effect on her or if it's not actually strong enough to keep things in check for long. Also the whole concept of exphere's in general is very disturbing. It isn't just a piece of technology, it's a parasitic infection that can completely take over your body/mind and turn you into a grotesque being. That and the fact that they're made from dead people aren't even enough to keep them from being produced and people don't even seem to have any clue at all about what they are attaching to their bodies. Freaky. I think that's all for today! More grinding before I go into the mines, I have been abusing the holy bottles a little too much 😅

[lesbiangummybearmafia]

How is it once you've been slotted in as "fuck up, bad guy, screw up, trouble maker, black sheep" in a part of your family even when that's their perception of you and not the truth. No matter how hard I try to fix things, to change their perception to see the real person I am. As soon as I make one ill written post one facebook that was meant to be a postive thing. But I inadvertently forgot to add someone in the post, I'm once rendered back to screw up status? Most likely not be invited to Christmas for another decade plus. It was truly a mental mistake on my part.

So this the story; I needed up spend 2 days with my niece and her daughters (Christmas and the day after). So my post on facebook was just saying that I had a wonderful time spending time with them. Well I forgot to add my niece's son in that post 😔. He lives with his dad and had been there on Christmas day only, he's also an adult. When I wrote the post i wasn't leaving him out on purpose. Just my brain being my brain wanted to let my niece know I appreciated the time I got to spend at her house with her and her daughters. As you might guess we don't have the best relationship in the world.

So after I posted it to facebook I take a nap. Got up just a little bit ago to see there's a comment on that post from my niece's son (fyi we're not friends on facebook) Basically saying that anytime I spent with him meant nothing... See here I was completely confused. On a vid of Christmas I posted on facebook I say how great it was seeing everyone. But I couldn't tag him in we're not friends. Truth be told I tried to friend him, he never friended me so yea I let go. But he would seen it on his mom's which is how I'm figuring he seen the one in question now. See when he left on Christmas day to go home he didn't say good bye to me or anything, we're not close unfortunately. So I stupidly thought somewhere in my brain that my presents didn't really matter to him. I'm a full on adult, he's 19 so I don't take it personal I figured it just the way it is, even if it sucks. But I never thought in a million years he'd get upset about the post thanking his mom and sisters... So I did what I could I apologized to him because I truly didn't mean to hurt him. And put up a post especially just for him as a way of acknowledging him and also apologizing in a larger way. Tagged his mom in it so he will hopefully see it. Because I never meant to make him feel that way. My favorite moment of the two days I was down there was playing this fun card game called Exploding Kittens with him and his sisters on Christmas.

And perhaps this is selfish but my overall fear here is it any progress I made over the last two days with them is just going to get chucked out the window cuz once again I screwed up, I put my foot in my mouth not even realizing it in anyway completely was blindsided. I'm just left with egg on my face like good job you idiot. When I've been diligently trying not to cause waves. See that portion of the family has issues about a lot of things about me mostly their conservative and I'm a liberal is the easiest way to sum it up. With first agent Orange's bullshit for 4 years and now Covid well it's not been easy. So when my niece invited me to Christmas, which has not happened in more years than I can remember I was super excited. Because being alone on Christmas is truly one of the hardest things to deal with. Now I feel like just fucked up trying to say thank you and I had a great time to my niece and her daughters. Seems like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't 😥.

Anyway now I'm just anxious and disheartened! Wishing I could go back in time and fix that post!

[lokaneiscanon]

Mighty Thor in Thor: Love and Thunder rant

Seeing Natalie Portman returning to reprise her role as Jane Foster, nevertheless wielding Mjolnir, finally getting the treatment this character deserves, was surreal to say the least. I had just started reading Lords of Midgard, the 8th issue of Mighty Thor (2015 - 2018), and had fallen in love already. But I didn't suspect at all that Taika Waititi would pull this card in Thor: Love and Thunder, considering Jane was barely mentioned in Ragnarok. The news about my favorite actress portraying one of my favorite characters coming out of the blue - you can imagine the excitement. Alas, I quickly remembered what the fandom thought of that comic (at least on tumblr) and imagined it now growing tenfold, cuz not everyone in the MCU fandom reads comics but pretty much everyone wants to watch another Thor movie. And yes, many fans weren't ready for this step, still recovering from Sam Wilson getting the shield in Endgame. Which is completely fine. We're not obligated to like everything Marvel throws in our faces, we're allowed to criticize and express our opinion on the internet or wherever. What is not okay is mindlessly hating, and even worse - using false facts to support said opinion.

I have seen some people using the argument that it is one of Marvel's worst selling comics. Which has already been proven wrong by multiple sites, including Comichron, just Google it, as I did myself. I read multiple posts, ones saying how good Jane is doing as Thor in sales, others disproving this, so I checked for myself the numbers at the site mentioned above month by month to be sure. The comic truly had its downfalls as the story progressed but in my opinion it's normal for the 1st issue to have more sales than the 21st. If we compare it to Unworthy Thor, which started running a bit later and followed the now unworthy Odinson, the data shows the latter had more sales. But then again, while Might Thor was at its 17th issue, Unworthy Thor was at its 2nd. Also, they later crossed paths, shared comic issues, it's fair to say they go hand in hand and Jason Aaron, the author, probably doesn't want us to compare them, as they complete and compliment each other's stories. Still I decided to check the comic that made Thor unworthy in the first place - Thor: God of Thunder (2012 - 2014), which seemed to me more "comparable" to Might Thor (2015 - 2018). *I keep putting the years it was being released so as to not be confused with previous Mighty Thor issues, whole Odinson was still Thor, please bear with me* So yes, the numbers were pretty close, but from what I saw, Mighty Thor had the upper hand if we compare first issue to first issue and so on. (In defense of Odinson, we have to take into account that this data is only from the US and does not include digital sales. Also, he's been around since the 50s. We could argue Jane was a breath of fresh air that some Marvel fans were indeed ready for. As a non-American, and also a person without a hint of knowledge in economics I cannot take into account inflation and whatever else has prevented or enabled Americans to get their hands on the comics or has affected prizes through the years. Bear that in mind.) Moreover, from what I saw on Comichron, both comics had much competition - God of thunder was released along with Avengers vs the X-men, the Uncanny X-men, pretty popular at the time, and the Goddess of Thunder faced Civil War 2 and DC Universe Rebirth (yes, DC is in the game too), also dominating with tremendous sales for the longest time. Yet I stick with my original statement - both Thors are valid and shouldn't be put against one another regardless of profit. Because at the end of the day what will matter the most is the story. And boy, what a story it is.

Now, I haven't read the Thor: God of Thunder, but as I was doing research I found one very well written summary and explanation of Thor's arc and his becoming unworthy and I will post a link below, because I honestly feel I wouldn't be doing this comic a favor by describing it without having read it. Which I plan to do in the future, tbh. It's a fantastic prelude to the Mighty Thor (2015 - 2018) that I've come to love. First, I'd like to ask you all to stop hating on the comic without having read it first. It doesn't make any sense and being petty for the sake of being petty won't benefit neither you, nor anyone, really. Now, about the comic itself - the art is magnificent. It's just gorgeous. Mighty Thor isn't , thank all the gods, sexualized, she is pretty buffed and generally looks like a warrior. As it is with the other characters, I dare say. The background truly captures the essence of every world Jane finds herself on. Action scenes are just the right amount and balanced with dialogue well. On a side note, it's pretty funny to read/listen to in your head the Shakespearean English cursive in which Jane talks as Thor. The plot line branches beyond this comic, starting from Thor: God of Thunder and leading to the War of Realms. And it is elaborately built in every issue. You don't know what to expect, yet it makes sense when it happens. Which leads me to the characterizations. My God, what a treat Loki is in this. Clearly, my opinion is kinda biased, since he's my favorite character, but you never know which side he's on. What his motivations are. And it just feels so... Loki. His writing is brilliant. Almost makes me forget what the MCU did to him. Also, he gets some daddy time with Laufey (not as kinky as I make it sound). Frigga/Freyja is just as awesome as in the MCU, even more, at least in the comics she calls Odin out on his shit, who btw is I guess an asshole in every version and universe. Malekith, the main villain, is unbearably despicable, I want to tear every page he is on. He really was mishandled in the Dark World, if you want some true action with the dark elves, you are welcome to enjoy. I saved the best for the end - Jane Foster/ Might Thor. Now, if you think Dr. Foster spends her time boasting about her worthiness and how Odinson is just called Thor, but she is Mighty Thor, you are horribly wrong. She just... does her job. Because the hammer chose her. Because there's no one else to do so. That's it. If you think there's some feminism involved, yes, there sure is, but it certainly isn't the reason Jane became Thor in the first place. It was not the creators going SJW because it's trendy, as such a mindset is honestly offensive to any descent creator with any self respect, but a well thought out story arc, which, I repeat, you have to read the comic to understand. Jane is not at all whiny about the hate she gets in-universe, not only from foes like Odin and who-not, but from Shield and generally people whose asses she's saving. Her having cancer is not something they pulled to provoke sympathy and make her look like a victim - on the contrary, she is a damn hero and a victor. I don't want to give out spoilers, but her being Thor is actually a giant sacrifice that no one really appreciates (both in-universe and in the fandom). She is not Thor to prove she can be, or just to prove "women can be heroes" - she doesn't have to. She is simply needed by the realms and so she does her job, even though she is called a thief, persecuted and generally hated. All that matters is that the hammer finds her worthy - the beauty and simplicity of that fact you will find out, for the last time, if you read the comic.

I'm not making you read the comic or watch Thor: Love and Thunder. I myself don't know what to make of this film yet because there's barely any information about it. I only know it will be based on the comic so that's a reason for my hopes to be up already. On the other hand, since I didn't like Loki's characterization in Ragnarok, I'm not sure what to expect from Taika. There are valid reasons to not like the idea of Jane returning to the MCU as Thor, which you are entitled to. However, reasons such as "why does everything have to be political these days" are not. Because if I had to make a list of everything politically related in the MCU, it would take forever. Steve Rogers kills nazis is the most blatant example. Make of it what you want. But I think we're far enough into the 21st century to realize art and real life are not that separable. It's undeniable that art affects people and that is to say, people everywhere. And they all have different opinions and aren't gonna like everything media is offering to them. And I wish I could simply tell you not to watch the movie but I'm a Marvel fan too and I understand that I can't just take away Thor from you because I want Mighty Thor as well. But none of us can stop Marvel from producing it. So, to quote an image I saw recently, I don't know how to explain to you that you should care about other people. Let the rest of the fandom enjoy what they want to enjoy. Yes, ik I can play around with the tags and avoid posts that unnerve me but, for example, I'm looking up Mighty Thor fanart, which obviously isn't anti-Mighty Thor, yet I get attacked in the comics for anticipating a movie that doesn't even have a full cast yet. Ik I'm not asking for too much when I wish to get the same internet experience (not only tumblr, but also insta, YouTube, Twitter, any site) as the Thor Odison fans, for example. I'm aware I cannot stop all the toxic fans and the trolls but I hope this post has inspired those of you who simply can't envision Jane as Thor, or don't like Natalie Portman in the role, or whatever eles personal preference that doesn't involve political issues and isn't harmful to the community, not to attack every post on your dash with hate. The movie is called LOVE and Thunder, for God's sake. (on a side note, is a franchise that is too afraid to show LGBT characters for more than 1 minute so as to not lose profit from China, THAT politically correct)

Anyway, that was a veeeery long rant, sorry to whoever reads this but, like, please, I put effort into this, hoping this time around I won't be the only positive reviewer of a movie, like I was with Solo: a Star Wars story (yes, I'm still bitter about this), which was boycotted for no apparent reason but was a decent film in reality, and I'm only bringing it up because it has a similar experience to Love and Thunder for getting hate before even being released. I'm not defending a billion dollar company that flopped in box office once, I'm defending the viewer's right to media they are interested in. If you don't like the character, remember - that's your opinion, not a fact that the character sucks. Kudos.

Not very easy to navigate, I advice you to do the research month by month individually for comics you'd like to compare. Also, if you happen to find more reliable data, pls say so in the comments.

Here you have the summary and explanation of the greatness of Thor: God of Thunder, Jesus, I'll go bankrupt if I buy this one too.

Yes, I want to end the sales dispute once and for all, I'm tired of seeing it on my dash. This guy probably explains it better than I did.

@awesomejenlawrence you said you'd like to read this and I delivered