#I rarely have the guts to write that kinda of stuff.

[adventuretolkienlover]

I just realized that in future fight scenes in my fic, that can and will be injuries... Which means I'll have to describe said injuries and blood... 😳 And I'm squeamish... This shall be an interesting experience. 😬

[saetoru]

Tee…

I’m now on my hands and knees BEGGING for bully Gojo who is (secretly) DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE over the reader PLEASE ANY CRUMBS I WILL TAKE

(you don’t actually have to write this it was just a nice thought)

idkkkkk if it’s rly bully gojo—but he’s definitely a real cunt for sure.

i just think about an asshole! gojo a lot like he’s ur lab partners or something and he does that stereotypical jerk move where he’s like “seriously ?? her ??” when he’s first paired with you. and he’s just naturally an douche, yk ?? wears sunglasses indoors and makes jokes at the professors expense under his breath that gets him snickers and snorts from his frat guys in his class. has to be asked more than once to “please keep it down in the middle of class” by wtv prof he’s in class with.

and he ofc makes u do all the work bc he can’t be bothered—and on the rare occasion that he is bothered, he just does a poor job that’s the bare minimum and sloppy enough that ur like wtv i’ll just do it myself. and then ofc sometimes u don’t have a choice but to meet up to finish something after class every now and then—he wouldn’t care to, but he actually needs to know the stuff for the final report he has to write individually, so he begrudgingly meets up with you, and sometimes you notice his friends give you an amused look when he walks up with them. they snicker before they leave as he sits with you. sometimes they make a snide comment here and there like “have fun with ur super hot date” that makes him roll his eyes—he doesn’t do much to hide the look of distaste on his face.

but then—and he doesn’t even know when it happens—you start to slowly grow on him. because ur actually pretty snarky urself, sometimes making a dry comment here and there about the professor and his stupid bald headed self. sometimes a girl in the distance laughs too hard a group of guys that u roll ur eyes and mumble how “if i had a voice like that i’d never laugh in public” and it makes him snort a bit without meaning to. sometimes you stare daggers at the person who has their music so loud thru their headphones they can’t help but notice u and turn it down in embarrassment. ur actually not as much of a pushover as he thought—you just genuinely think he’s too incapable to help u out that you’ve just shrugged him off and started doing his part. it’s an easy weekly lab class anyway, you don’t need him—and then he realizes that u rly just don’t care for him. his little snickers at u with his friends and their snide comments roll off ur back bc well…he’s him—an asshole little frat boy and u didn’t expect anything better from him. so it makes him a little intrigued—maybe a little wounded in his pride, deep down, because no one has ever been indifferent to him before. they’re either madly in love, or they hate his guts, or they follow his lead. either works—he still gets the attention he craves.

but u just don’t rly care. and ur actually pretty cool, and kinda sorta funny in a way no one else is. he likes it…and fuck, now he’s starting to like you. he can tell bc when his friends ask how his little date with you went, he starts getting a bit huffy ab it bc they don’t need to talk about you. they don’t even know you…but also….its not a date. and that’s the worst part. sometimes it feels like a date. almost—sometimes you both decide to take a break in between and go get a coffee or a light snack. sometimes he’s even paid (to which you look mildly shocked before politely thanking him) and you both walk back to the library while u make light banter and it’s…well, fun. and nice. and your laugh is pretty. and your smile is kinda cute and he (though he hates to admit it) rly likes it when u laugh because of him.

and then things start to get messy—really, he didn’t mean for it to start this way. he really was meaning to ask you in a genuine manner to see u again once the semester was finished. because he’s actually started pulling his weight—he wants u to see him for someone who’s smart. satoru is actually rly rly smart and no one knows it because he doesn’t rly show it but he is. he wants u to see that side of him—somehow there’s some sick validation he rly needs from you knowing he’s not a dense frat guy who drinks and fucks until 3 am every night. so he starts doing his parts and actually communicates with u about sections. so starts ur texting routine—sometimes a little longer than u rly need to for just doing a lab together. sometimes it’s “did u hear ab that girl in our class getting dumped in front of the kfc ??” and sometimes it’s “god our prof rly needs to get some pussy” and other times it’s “look what the guy who sits behind us just posted on his story” and it leads to a few long convos that admittedly…are rly fun. ur so fun. he likes it. he rly does like u and he thinks maybe….maybe he’s grown on u too and you know what ?? satoru’s always a jerk but ur nice and who’s to say he can’t be nice too ?? just for one person. for u, he can be a nice guy—u carried lab all on ur own long enough that u deserve it anyway.

until he gets swayed in that way only a coward can. in that way you do when ur used to being “the man” around ur friends and ur too pressured to keep up that energy for appearances sake bc u don’t wanna be the laughing stock who softened up for “some nerdy chick who’s a nobody.” so he laughs when they laugh at the fact that ur probably “still a virgin who’s never touched a guy before” and then they’re patting gojo on the back and shoving at his shoulder as they laugh harder and suggest that “y’know what would be so funny man ?? if u took her virginity. you could probably do it.”

the thought is sickening because…satoru wouldn’t want to fuck you like that. god, you have him caring about when and how he fucks you—in fact, just thinking about you lewdly makes him feel guilty. disrespectful, even. you’re more than a fleshlight for his dick. since when did he become so respectful ?? but he doesn’t know how to say no, especially when everyone starts agreeing one after the other—and oh no, now they’re betting on how quickly he can do it….and oh, now it’s not just fucking. now it’s “how long until you think she’s head over heels for you? man, that would be a sight, huh ??”

and….well, satoru decides it couldn’t hurt, right ?? he does want to be romantically involved so that would include you being head over heels. hopefully. fingers crossed. and he doesn’t rly want to seem lame in front of the guys either, so he gets to keep both sides of the coin, so is it really that bad ?? maybe not the right idea but certainly the right execution. he’ll treat you well—that much he’s confident of. so he forces out a laugh and says “gimme a month or two, you’ll see.”

and a month or two they give him. and a month or two it takes—but not for you to be head over heels. it’s him who’s utterly and completely obsessed and fallen head first and whatever else they say to describe love because wow. this must be what it is. this must be that stupid fairytale shit they always talk about because fuck, no one has ever looked at him like that. like he’s some miracle to this earth and some wonder only you know of—like you hope it stays that way and that he’s yours and yours alone and no one else comes in to take him away. satoru really likes being yours, it kinda feels better than you being his. being yours means you hold him like that at night and wake him up to a kiss between his brows and sometimes, when he gets those migraines he’s prone to getting, you always seem to know. always seem to understand when to close the blinds and keep quiet and wrap him up in the covers as you rub your thumbs over his temples soothingly.

he almost forgets about that silly little bet he made two months ago when he’s around you. actually, he forgets everything when he’s around you. he’s only ever thinking about you, you, you. when he comes back to his frat house, on the other hand, they’re all gathered around waiting for the newest details. how you must’ve been so pathetically star struck by him. how you must be embarrassingly bad at kissing. how you must stutter over every other word around him. how you must be making a complete and utter fool of urself trying to impress him and be someone you’re not bc the real you would never pique his interest.

they’re wrong ofc. if anyone’s star struck, it’s satoru bc how the hell are u so…cool ?? and so funny and witty and carefree ?? and you’re good at kissing—have him chasing your lips with a whine every time. sometimes you even chuckle at him when he does and make him blush a bit. he’s the one who stutters over his words when he sees you in your little date night outfits. sometimes he watches you drink from your straw and his brain short circuits a little until you snap at him and ask him in confusion if he’s alright. but the real kicker ?? it’s that if anyone’s pretending, it’s satoru. you’re always just you—unapologetically so, that it’s endearing and beautiful and so unearthly he wonders how he got so lucky. but him ?? he’s always acting like some guy he’s not. some chivalrous guy who opens doors and pushes out seats and kisses the back of hands and waits at least a few dates before even considering fucking. some nice, sweet, genuine guy who’s deserving.

he’s not that—never was. if you knew the real him, you’d leave in a heartbeat. it’s a scary thought. a raw feeling he doesn’t like. makes him feel all self conscious and insecure and all that weird shit he never thought he’d feel.

he tries. so hard, he tries to make them forget about that silly little bet and just slowly drop it and maybe even forget ur dating so he can just stay living this peaceful little fantasy with you—but that’s stupid. that’s naive. it’s been 4 months and enough is enough—the guys need to see the look on ur face when u realize what a fool ur being and satoru is “being a lazy ass who’s too comfortable not having for work for pussy these days.” so then there’s a video going around. it’s everyone gathered around on the couch drunk and talking about you. and satoru. you both, in fact. how it’s been two months and u seem desperate for his attention with the shrill little voice you use to call him toru, baby! it’s so, so fucking embarrassing, they say. how you think he likes it. (he does. god he does so much, it hurts. he loves it, actually, when you call him that. makes him feel special in a way he never has.) but then, the worst, most disgustingly nauseous part of the whole thing is when satoru laughs along and plays into their awful words. just lets them talk about you like you’re some piece of meat. something for him to chew up and spit out after he has a taste or you. not even worth savoring and enjoying. he laughs along and agrees—you’re nothing special and he can’t wait until he’s free of you.

that part hurts. that part sucks the most—when he acts like he didn’t tremble under your touch every time you kissed him. like he didn’t beg you to stay just five more minutes! before walking out the door to go home. he acts one way in front of you and one way in front of them and what’s worse ?? you don’t know which one is real. couldn’t tell even if your life was on the line to decide. because there’s no way he’s that good at pretending to be desperately in love, no fucking way. but there’s also no way he can be in love if he’s talking about you like that. that’s not what love is—that’s not what love feels like. that’s not what it means to someone.

you don’t know which satoru is the real one, but you know that neither is worth your time. not if he can’t stick to it.

it’s terrible thing—the way you break up. it’s messy and teary and he’s begging, he’s actually begging. he never thought he’d do that. but he doesn’t even hesitate to plead for you to hear him out. baby, please let me explain. wait, please don’t walk away—please just listen! i can explain.

he can’t explain, though when you as him to. stands there with a bitten bottom lip and teary eyes that are pleading you to just stay with him. to overlook this and just … ignore it like it’s nothing. like what he did and said was just nothing and you can shrug it off like you’re nothing too. like your feelings are nothing and so is your worth and that’s why you should just ignore the way he absolutely destroyed your pride and reputation and dignity and worse….every ounce of your love.

such deep, raw, pure love—it’s almost enough to heal every dry crack and crevice of this earth and bring it back to life.

you look at him with teary eyes and something so broken, it makes him feel like dirt beneath your feet.

“it’s embarrassing, satoru,” you hiss that night through tears, “you’re in your twenties getting a degree and you’re still just a high school bully. life’s really gonna kick you in the ass some day.”

life’s already kicking him in the ass as soon as you walk out. the air is colder. the world is dimmer. food doesn’t taste as good and fuck—there is just so much loneliness when you have no one to be yourself with. when there’s no you.

but he supposes you’re right though—he is just a bully. it’s pathetic, really. and maybe it’s for the best. maybe you don’t deserve someone who’s only ever known how to feel good because someone else doesn’t.

[worriedvision]

They ask for your friends number- Aventurine, Boothill, Wriothesley

Gender neutral reader, angst once again you know this blog. Basically, you're into the guy and you think he likes you back, only to realise he was more interested in your friend.

---

Aventurine:

"So, how much for a number?" Aventurine asks, looking over at your friend but asking you.

"Well, since you asked, my number-" you begin, flirting with him as you begin to speak only to stop when he puts a finger up to silence you.

"Oh, no no no! Your friend over there, they're a true gem!" He chuckles, not sensing your shift in mood.

You can't help but feel embarrassed, thinking back and realising he probably didn't even speak to you in the first place out of interest but more to get closer to your friend. Your friend was close to you, like you were to them, and Aventurine immediately knew that he had to be in your good books for a chance. As much as you hated to admit it to yourself, your friend was the one that looked better for Aventurine.

"...Well, why don't you go over and ask yourself?" You laugh off, Aventurine is clearly nervous. "Oh come on, surely you know you need to make some moves yourself."

Aventurine nods, thanking you for your wisdom and complimenting your friend for having you as a friend before beginning to walk over.

Not wanting to see the inevitable happen of your friend finally getting a good partner - solely because you had a crush on the man in question - you opt to go home early. You'll tell your friend you had a sore head, or something equally as understandable for dismissing.

--

Boothill:

"Hoo boy! That one over there sure is a sight for sore eyes." Boothill whistles, your friend indulging in a conversation with the bartender. "What kinda stuff are they into? You know them well, right squirt?"

You didn't expect it to hurt that much. You knew you didn't have much of a chance of a working relationship with him, but it still hurt.

"Well, you're a gentleman. Why don't you go over and start a conversation?" You smile, hoping Boothill doesn't notice the wobble in your voice.

"But you know me, I'm... I'm cool and reserved!" Boothill objects, you raising a brow at his words. "Okay, fine, I get it. Gotta have the guts to get this forking stuff started."

Boothill struts over, loudly enough that anyone could hear, and you watch on as Boothill inevitably stumbles the moment your friend looks over. Thankfully, your friend giggles, and Boothill gets the courage to speak.

Going to your contacts, you text Boothill your friends number in case he forgets to ask before promptly blocking him.

--

Wriothesley:

Working under Wriothesley turned out to be a real treat. He respected you, made sure people weren't giving you flack, and he always took the time to talk to you casually.

You really were silly for thinking he thought of you differently from the average prisoner. When your friend was visiting their father in prison, Wriothesley quickly took an interest. The moment they were away, Wriothesley asked you for their contact.

You couldn't help but choke on your tea when hearing that, not expecting him to want their details so quickly. Perhaps he just wanted to check they weren't trying to get their dad out of jail.

"It's rare that someone catches my eye like that. My standards are usually so high and yet, they seem to effortlessly meet them." Wriothesley chuckles, you're not drinking anymore tea.

It was a shock to you, but you knew he deserved someone that would treat him well. Your friend knows of your feelings for Wriothesley through your gushing, so they know he's a good guy.

Pushing over a note with your friends address, telling him not to use it with malicious intent, he thanks you as he writes it down.

[bayfuzzball7050]

SIEMPRE SE PUEDE PEDIR TRADUCCIÓN‼️‼️‼️

INTRODUCTION POST AND RULES 🔥🔥🦾🦾🦾🦈🦈

(Edit— 23/09/2024) I kinda got excited writing this ☠️

There’s like a worrying amount of text. I’m not sure everyone can gut how much I wrote 😭😭

But here are like the basics of my blog:

The name’s Andrés or Diego. Call me whatever ya want, idc

I’m a Trans Guy, he / him and if you don’t know me a they / them it’s ok I don’t mind that much. NO SHE HER IMMA BEAT UR ASS

☆ I got that dawg in me (asd) actually pls be patient im a little slow on some things

☆ Artist — I mostly make jjba fanart (currently insane about it)

☆ Art requests are currently open!!

I draw anything but nsfw/kinks, complex backgrounds, Steven universe art and proship stuff

☆ Writer (no fanfic here tho)

☆ don’t ask for pics you ain’t getting em

☆ if I use emojis, be aware that most of the time it’s ironic

☆ I make a lot of kys/kms jokes, if you’re not ok with this, please don’t follow

☆ i LOVE spammers, spam likes, reblogs, whatever as much as you like :3 (if ya want to like no pressure)

☆ if ya wanna be mutuals just ask I don’t mind I’ll just check yo vibe and that’s it

Art tag: #my art

Post tag/reblogs where I add something: #momazos diego

Quality posts tag (aka when I think): #chamber of reflection (reflexionando en la chamba)

oc masterpost

brushes I use

BY THE WAY!!

☆ I usually don’t add tw (tho I dont post stuff with heavy themes often if I’m honest like I rarely do it) But if anything, be wary

☆ I also always have my notifications off so please don’t feel bad if I don’t answer a dm or anything of the sort

☆ please excuse me if I reblog/like artists who are proshippers, I don’t tend to check blogs before interacting🧍🏽(I’ve gotten myself blocked many times because of this)

☆ also like if they problematic in general like idk if maybe someone I reblogged has been in a big ahh controversy or summ so uhhh forgive me

☆ dni and fandoms im in below the cut

☆ more info abt me and my blog under the cut :P ☆

So, I think imma make(try) a dni list but ik it’s ultimately useless cuz like I can’t force ya and im not your dad plus I’m too lazy to look through every blog that reblogs or likes but uh blocklist ig???

It’s just basic dni criteria, but like if ya wanna read ig?

SHIT THAT GETS YA BLOCKED ‼️‼️

(some of these are oddly specific)

☆ zionists, racists, homophobes, ace exclusionists/phobes, antisemits (guess that’s how you say it???), conservatives, Proshippers, Comshippers, anti-anti’s and profiction mfs, LOL1C0NS AND SHOTAC0NS (KYS…NOWW)Transphobes / TERFS, SWERFS, and radfems, Transmeds/Truscums/anti-MOGAI mfs, Transid, “Transabled”, "transracial", Radqueers in general, NSFW agere blogs (SFW agere it’s cool I don’t mind), pedos/MAPS (I want you hanging on the STREET), Paraphilics in general, Misgendering kink blogs, kink blogs in general actually ☠️, Pro-ANA or Pro-MIA

☆ swifties.

Exceptions and specifics:

☆ I think Selfshippers / yumeshippers are cool thus they aren’t hurting anyone most of the time AND ALSO! people tend to think that transid has therians in it and no, I think therians, kinnies and fictives are cool

To be honest I don’t check the blogs of most people who reblog or like but- Ricky…Ricky when I catch you Ricky-

(I mostly notice when I get followed but uh- anyway 😻)

THIN ICE:

☆ Giomis shippers

Why? Cuz not all of them are proshippers but a vast majority is and giomis kinda weirds me out💀ik the age gap small but still it’s kinda….

☆ dsmp fans

As much as I enjoy the Fanart and maybe the roleplay was interesting I have like personal beef with the fanbase and creators

☆ Hannibal Fans

The franchise is fire but I also have beef with Hannibal fans cuz for some reason most of them proshippers

☆ MHA fans for the same reason as Hannibal fans

☆ Same with South Park

☆ Same goes for Homestuck fans

☆ Same goes for Steven Universe fans. It’s mid btw

☆ ONE PIECE fans, y’all didn’t do anything wrong it’s just that I haven’t caught up with the show 😭😭

☆ NSFW blogs (as in porn/smut)

ANYWAY

Languages I speak:

☆ Spanish (mother language)

☆ English

☆ A tiny bit of Italian

FANDOMS IM IN (but I forget sometimes 😿)

☆ JJBA (what I post about mostly (going insane over this))

☆ Yakuza (I haven’t finished 0 yet)

☆ Brawl Stars (slowly losing my mind over it)

☆ WEIRD AL YANKOVIC

☆ LOST MEDIA. (Believe it or not, im also going insane over this.)

☆ Berserk

☆ Madoka Magica

☆ ikigusare (best virtual girl band ever fr fr)

☆ Gorillaz

☆ Good Omens

☆ Moral Orel

☆ Dorohedoro

☆ My Little Pony

☆ Sonic fandom

☆ Undertale / Deltarune

☆ Breaking Bad / Better Call Saul

☆ El Cuarteto De Nos

☆ Azumanga Dioh!

☆ Vocaloid

☆ Project Sekai

☆ D4DJ

☆ Food Fantasy

☆ FNAF (grrrr I love fnaf,,)

☆ Emo / Scene / Scemo (I just don’t have money for clothes nor the patience to make a blog only for that 😭😭)

☆ actually like another shit ton more but I can’t remember 😔

Socials:

☆ Reddit u/BayFuzzball7050 (old account, permanently banned)

☆ Reddit u/BayFuzzball404 (Current Account)

☆ ofc Tumblr

☆ Wattpad and AO3 but we ain’t talking about that 🤫🧏‍♂️

☆ @bayfuzzball7050-art is my art blog (reblogs from here)

☆ …

☆ also I might or might not have a questionable side art blog (collect my shitposts)

☆ ALSO! recently opened a Pixiv :3

☆ And NOW I HAVE AN ARTFIGHT!

Dis me btw

[mister-e-muss]

I figured I’d give you guys a sneak preview of a KFP fic I’m writing. Working title is ‘Temtping Fate’

The Jade Palace was a place of calm tranquility, constantly made contradictory by intense physical labor. It was a place of meditative peace, where its residents perfected their abilities to fight. A mountain palace, that taught people how to throw someone to the floor in three moves or less.

Po rarely thought about it that deeply. He knew Kung Fu inside and out by now. It made sense to him that self-improvement, be it physical or not, would require both loud, high energy exercise rooms, and more introspective quiet areas. The chef in him likened it to broth-less noodles and noodle-less broth. You could do one or the other, but it was much better balanced together.

Balance was always one of Shifu's, and by extension Oogway's, chief lessons. Inner peace, the acceptance of oneself, and the need to push forward we're all key ingredients in making the flavor of one's soul. It was what added heat and depth to the proverbial soup of consciousness.

It was a good thing that such lessons were everywhere in the Jade Palace, because at the moment Po felt about as balanced as a one-legged chair during an earthquake.

He ran through the halls and gardens of the palace, yowls and shouts escaping him as if he were being chased.The groundskeepers, by now well trained to the Dragon Warrior's ways, moved precious decorations and fragile plants out of his way, hardly sparing him more than a passing glance or a roll of their eyes.

It was as Po barrelled through the doors into the east wing, rounded the corner on the left, and shot down the hallway after making two rights, that he caught a familiar glimpse of orange fur. Said orange figure spotted him a moment later, barreling towards her at high speed. 'Tigress!" Po said, digging his heels in an attempt to brake himself.

Tigress' eyes went wide, and in a moment of instinct, braced for impact. Po's body was grabbed and turned around before being set down firmly.

Po stood still and blinked for a second. "Oh good, I found you!" His next words spilled out in a single breath. "I need your help, but I kinda need you to promise not to hate me first, because I feel like you might hate me a little bit if I just come out and say it, but I really do need your help and-"

"Po," Tigress said firmly. "Breath. Slowly." After Po did, and stopped shaking so much, Tigress continued. "Now, from the top, what were you saying."

Po sighed and hid his eyes. "This is gonna take a bit of explaining. Okay, so, you remember Temutai, Warrior King of the Qidan Clan, right?"

Tigress nodded. "That yak that you had to challenge for the princess, right?"

"Yeah, that guy. Big dude, big voice, ego more inflated than a lantern. So, I got a letter a few weeks ago from one of his guys. Apparently he got engaged."

"Temutai. Engaged," Tigress remarked drily.

Po shrugged. "I know, weird right? Guess there's somebody for everybody. Anyway the thing is, he has a sister apparently, and he wants her to marry someone in the Valley so he doesn't have to worry about trade dealings and stuff." Pink started to creep its way up Po's face. "Temutai wrote me last week and said that apparently I was his first choice. 'My sister is a warrior of the Qidan clan, so she must marry a warrior!' That's what he said, anyways."

"I. . . see," Tigress said. "You didn't accept, did you?"

Po scoffed. "No, no! You kidding me? Of course not!"

Tigress wanted to feel relieved, but instead her gut coiled. "So how did this lead to you needing my help?"

Po's face went from pink to red. "See, that's kinda the thing. I couldn't just tell him no: Temutai's an actual king, and an egomaniac besides. So, I had to find a way to tell him no, but gently. I knida just. . . wrote him back the first thing that came into my head." Po stole a quick glance at Tigress, whose face had grown from passively concerned, to hard and searching. Po took another breath. "I told him I was already married."

"Meaning you couldn't get married." Tigress nodded. Not the most impressive coverup, but the logic was sound enough, by Po's standards that is.

"Exactly," Po said. "I thought that would just be the end of it, but apparently Temutai found a groom for his sister somewhere else and wants me there when she gets married."

Tigress crossed her arms. "Easy enough. I still don't see what you need my help for."

Po adjusted the fur on his head, refusing to meet her eyes. "Temutai doesn't just want me there. He wants me, and my wife there."

Tigress mouth hung open, while her arms went limp. She dreaded the next few words, but she forced them out anyways. ". . . And this would-be blushing bride is. . ?"

Po inhaled deeply. "I told him I was married to you." Po then bowed his head over double and held his hands in front of him. "I'm so sorry. I should have told you back when I got the first letter, but I thought it would be funny. It isn't, but I really need your help to bail me out of this. So will you please be my fake wife while we try not to offend a warrior-king!"

[mlmvoreconfessionals]

Kinda wondering if you’ve done any Pokémon trainer eating Pokémon stuff- human trainer devouring Pokémon, either in pokeballs or not, by whatever means has always been a favorite of mine >>

Could have one trainer defeat another in battle and gulp the loser’s team, or just a Pokémon hunter…

Oh yeah, I've done this kinda stuff before and it's still really good! Maybe I'll treat this as an excuse to write for some more guys I like in the series.

L.arry lets out a sickly groan, stuck on the floor after the stool he'd been using broke under him. He had been trying a new dish from his favorite restaurant...after enough goading, of course. It had seemed fine at first, just some dumplings that he was told to swallow down whole, which he managed even if he found it strange. Turns out they were "P.okemon Surprise Dumplings" with the surprise being...well, whatever P.okemon happened to be the in P.okeball that was baked into them. L.arry didn't find that out until the first one cracked open and his gut had suddenly expanded. Once the confused P.okemon found himself curled up tight in some stranger's gut, the squirming began, and it didn't take long for the rest of them to pop out. The salaryman can't move at all now, pinned to the floor with a stuffed gut in his lap, the P.okemon inside thrashing around wildly in some vain attempt to escape his guts. A thick belch rumbles out of the man, sending a P.okeball flying from his jaws and clattering to the floor. No one else is paying him any mind, as if it were entirely normal for him to be stuck like this with such a full gut. It's not as though L.arry minds such a filling meal, either, but he can't exactly do his job if he's stuck sitting here trying to digest all of this live meat. His belly is complaining about it all a bit, too, with the way it gurgles and groans intensely over his live meals. He just knows he's going to be here for a while trying to process all of this. He's sure the chef has a pretty smug look on his face seeing him like this, too. L.arry lets out a defeated sigh and slumps back to lay on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. He really can't catch a break even at his favorite restaurant. He looks at his gut and taps the bulging snout of something trying to shove its face around. "You're lucky, honestly. You have an easy job in there. I'm the one who has to lug you guys around for the rest of the day." There's no way he's going to digest all of this before his break is over, either. He'll be lucky if they've even stopped moving by then. He should really start using his vacation days...

D.rayden crosses his arms and stands tall as he slurps down the thrashing tail hanging from his jaws. He maintains eye contact with the shivering trainer as the last Pokemon disappears down his gullet, a thick belch ringing out shortly after. His shirt is open, stomach surging forth with the trainer's entire team packed into it. The dragon tamer won't say he takes any pleasure in snuffing out a trainer's career like this...but he won't say he dislikes it, either. "If that's the last of them, then you can go," the gym leader says. "Your team is forfeit as my food now. That's how it works around here." Training D.ragon types is a difficult job. It requires a lot of strength as well as authority. D.rayden masters that by being merciless in battles of any kind, always devouring the P.okemon that lose to him. D.ragon types respect that type of power and authority and are more willing to fall in line because of it. As a result, though, there's rarely a battle in this gym that doesn't result in at least one trainer's Pokemon disappearing down the hatch. His body usually burns it all away after so many years of practiced devouring. It merely becomes raw energy for him or, if he takes the time, some muscle mass with the right regimen. Already his stomach is burbling and gurgling loudly, the weak and defeated Pokemon an easy meal for his powerful gut. They likely won't last the hour. He's certain that first one he devoured is already becoming soup in him. The trainer stayed in front of D.rayden, though, clearly left in shock over such a devastating and permanent loss. "If you stay, then I'll have to send you in after them," the gym leader explains. "And I'm sure you'd rather avoid that." It was a bit cruel, maybe, to not at least let the trainer be there for his team's final moments. But he tried not to devour trainers if he could help it--at least, so long as their losing team can sate him. He watches the trainer scurry off in an instant, leaving the gym leader alone with his team. Another harsh belch rumbles from deep within D.rayden and he closes his eyes. He can already feel the P.okemon softening up in his stomach, their battle making them too weak to resist such intense digestion. Before long, they'll be gone, and D.rayden will be facing a new trainer with a flat, growling stomach waiting for its next defeat. He's a patient man, at least. He'll be ready.

"Yeah, now that's some protein!" C.rasher W.ake calls out with a big grin. His stomach bounces and sloshes around, some wailing from the P.okemon lost inside. He always loves getting some good meals in his off time and this is definitely one of them. He might've snuck some P.okemon away from some strong trainers but who could blame him? Powerful trainers means powerful P.okemon, and that means big gains for him! His stomach flexes once and the P.okemon inside is broken down in an instant, a roaring belch coming from the gym leader. He laughs and lazily tosses another P.okeball into his maw, gulping it down like a piece of candy. Once it drops into his gut, it opens, and he has another thrashing beast filling his tank out. "That's right, give me all you've got! Show me how much you'll add to my muscle!" He pats his gut a few times, making the P.okemon inside roar out in frustration at being teased. W.ake didn't pay it much mind. All it takes is a flex of his gut and that P.okemon is reduced to a thick slush in his stomach. He lets loose another monstrous belch, followed by some jovial laughter. Several more P.okemon disappear down the hatch the same way, reduced to a thick slurry in his guts that was steadily being absorbed into his body. It made the wrestler bulk out, his muscles getting thicker and his gut becoming softer. he belches deeply again, patting his gut as it polishes off the last of the P.okemon he snagged. He's sure no one will really miss them, and even if they do, those P.okemon went to a good cause! The wrestler flexes his arms, laughing to himself. "That's what I'm talking about! Nothing does the body better than some prime P.okemon meat!" He'll definitely be ready for his next big battle now. He's certain of it.

[cogbreath]

what is your opinion on pro ship discourse? I know it is a tough or awkward subject, you do not have to answer this

im not proship myself but at the same time it seems completely unrealistic and infeasible to try to put a stop to it, people r gonna write and create stuff like that no matter what, and i genuinely do believe that some of it is done for shock value/attention , and giving it a response or acknowledgment is what they want. basically i take a sort of "dont feed the trolls" mentality about it. i dont want to see it but i also dont want to let it get to me. the internet is a place where theres some truly heinous and nasty shit out there and i feel like you'll destroy yourself mentally if you make it a major thing to worry about.

i do kinda live online but the fsct is that for the most part (outside of some things ive heard abt happening at like fan conventions) that it can be avoided by logging off. so becsuse of that as well i dont find it exactly an issue thats worth prioritising the way some ppl who r against pro-ship stuff are.

way more important things to spend your life worrying over.

what i find very annoying is the whole "dont like dont read" defense, and its really pathetic and stupid the way proshippers act like their writings are immune from criticism, or that any criticism that is against the subject matter in their writings is invalid, and they cry "harassment" too often.

frankly you shouldnt be surprised also that ppl will tell you to kill yourself and think thst youre disgusting if youre writing that kind of stuff, and i cant feel sorry for you if you dont have the backbone to take it. if its a problem then stop writing that stuff lol. if u have the guts to do it you should have the guts to handle the hate.

also the way some of them literally compare criticism to actual book burnings and police violence??? which is racist and ludicrous.

a lot of them also looveeee to use lolita as a gotcha but the truth is their writings are nothing like nabokovs in terms of quality and worth, and they dont seem to realise he wrote that as a critique of the normalisation and glamourisation of pedophilia.

out of morbid curiosity i once read a fanfic that touted itself as being inspired by such. i wanted to see what that author thinks being inspired by nabokov's work means, and not big surprise, it was masturbatory slop.

sure its possible that you can write fanfic that involves dubious subjects like that and do it well, but its rare.

irt to people who say they write it to cope, i have my doubts on that as well unless its a story where its clear that characters involved will grow and heal, or its very clear its written as a cautionary tale or something to that effect. maybe some ppl out there legit do cope with writing something that i find to just be nasty masturbatory slop, i dont know, but i dont know if thsts actually a healthy coping mechanism.

many ppl say that if you want to do that you should make it all original, but i think we are past that point, and fanfic is a medium that a lot of ppl use to express and cope about things. I've done it myself (albeit unpublished) and i find that argument to mostly be based in that they feel its cringe bc its fanfic rather than anything to do with genuine criticism.

ive also noticed the emergence of new terms like "comship" ? i kind of forget whst this means i think its like being neutral on it? i find it a bit shitty that ppl consider neutrality on it to be a bad thing? i csnt blame someone for not giving a shit about it. i think its lame to expect everyone whos involved with fandom to pick a camp to sit in, especially when the subject matter is often triggering. someones neutrality could be bc they dont want to think about it too much for that reason.

and as far as it goes though for RPF? i think it's really not THAT bad of a thing. especially bc in all honesty its moreso about that persons public persona. & just because its parasocial doesnt mean its wrong to do, thats simply a descriptor of the dynamic between fanbases & public figures. there is some absolutely NASTY and questionable stuff out there especially like for kpop bands 😭

that being said public figures do have the right to be uncomfortable about it either way and i do find it unfortunate and disrespectful that fans arent willing to listen to them when/if they say they dont like having it written about them. ABSOLUTELY shouldnt write it about irl minors though regardless.

oh and also like if ur writing it about like. ur coworker or someone u kno personally thats kinda really creepy . but its also not wrong to fantasise about people thought crimes arent real. just. dont publish it or show them that

anyway feel free to disagree with anything i have an open mind abt this most of its based off personal inference i havent rlly ever discussed it much ^_^

[13eyond13]

Hello, do you mind if I ask that "bookish ask"? For no. 15, 34, and 50. Thanks if you want to answer.....

Hello! Sure, thank you for asking :)

15. What book changed your life?

This was a hard question!

I know I've mentioned this book already several times but in complete honesty I think Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice did geniunely change my life a bit whenever I first read it at 15 or 16. I was raised in a strict Christian home and sent to a tiny Christian school in a small town, and had all my media and activities and the people I was allowed to interact with and the stuff I did very closely monitored so that it was basically always Christian and rarely ever adult in content or themes or anything for most of my childhood and my early teens. So originally when I bought this book at the bookstore at age 15 and my mom found out about it I had to return it to the bookstore immediately, because she saw that it was about vampires and she thought it sounded bad. Normally I was pretty obedient and I hated to do anything against my parents' wishes, but by then I had already started reading it and was already pretty hooked on knowing what was going to happen next. So I sneaked around behind my mom's back to secretly buy it again, and then pulled a Light Yagami by gutting one of the wholesome children's books on my shelf to hide this forbidden book inside (this was before I ever watched Death Note, but whenever I saw Light using the same bookshelf trick to hide his magazines I was like HAHAHA omg no way). So reading this book and then several more of them in the series after that kinda marked the first time I ever really explicitly disobeyed the authority figures around me in order to read something considered off-limits or more "adult," and kinda made me realize that I felt like I was missing out on a whole gigantic part of life by only ever being restricted to that tiny little bubble of stuff I'd been exposed to thus far. Everything that the book touched on just resonated extremely strongly with me at the time, in large part probably due to my religious guilt and my questioning of these things (because oooh boy is it obvious that Anne Rice is a lapsed Catholic in her writing a lot of the time). But also I think the melodrama of the story matched with my teenage angst so well, and I definitely was vibing strongly with just how queer so much of the series feels as well (I didn't realize yet that I was gay, but I was starting to question things like that about myself a bit by then I think. It was very rare that I was ever exposed to anything not completely heteronormative back then due to it being the 2000s and due to being in a homophobic religious bubble my whole life, so this really was one of the very first times I was). I feel like reading this book really marked the beginning of me opening my mind up from the stuff that I'd just been raised to believe and acted like a nice gateway for me between that and exploring lots of other interesting things that had previously been off-limits to me before that as well.

34. List 5 OTPs: I don't think I actually have five OTPs! The only one I really truly have ever been long-term passionate about enough to call it something like an otp is Lawlight. I could name you a few other ships that I definitely find pretty compelling and angsty for me to think about as well right now though, like Nana and Hachi from the Nana manga series and Griffguts from Berserk

50. Why do you love to read?

Hmm! At this point I might say just that I'm kind of obsessed with stories and the art of storytelling in general. And I think what I love so much about books in particular is just how intimate they can feel and how deep into a character's head or specific point of view or a different world or time period or whatever you can get with them. It's a bit different than something like watching a show or a movie to really get to know a character or experience a story directly just through the words on the page. I like how much you can just make it all up for yourself (which is to me why it often feels really odd to see a book I loved turned into a movie or show that doesn't match what I pictured in my imagination). I was lucky enough to grow up reading and being read to by my parents quite a bit, so it feels homey and nostalgic to me to sit down with a good book too. And I feel like as an adult it's just one of the better hobbies I've ever had in terms of expanding my mind and challenging me and teaching me a lot about all the things that interest me the most.

[bookish asks]

[alovelyburn]

Not gunna lie I'd absolutely //love// to hear even unfinished thoughts about that sequel idea you mentioned? ☕👀

And soon I'll be rereading everything again, cause time has passed enough for me to forget the wording and storylines for Maximum Effect lol

So, sorry if you get comments that sound exactly like ones I might've left before 😅

I hadn't thought that deeply into it since I didn't really mean to do it. But it kind of starts from the central question of how does Griffith go about seeking his kingdom in a world where he doesn't have Charlotte's claim to legitimize his rule. And...

Okay full honesty here, one of the main reasons I would be reluctant to do a sequel (aside from generally not doing them) is because I write NeoGriffith (Neo specifically) a certain way and I don't necessarily know that anyone wants to read that, lmao. Because he's not a black hat sadist the way Griffith haters would want to see him, but he can be Machiavellian, cold, ruthless and cruel in ways human Griffith wouldn't be. This doesn't come out as much in my normal stuff with NeoGriffith because they're usually from Guts' POV or they're all about the romance - I don't need to get into the chess game he's playing with the world because I'm just writing about him pining for Guts so it's not relevant.

So basically, the main thing he would need to do if he doesn't have Charlotte to legitimize his claim is find a way to remove her from the field. This doesn't necessarily mean having her killed - I don't really see Griffith (any Griffith) as someone who kills people just because it's easier than doing something else, so if there's another path then I'm sure he'd take it. But given that she's the rightful ruler of Midland anything he does is sure to be a major downgrade in her life's prospects even if she's alive.

And of course the other side would be him arranging to place himself in the position of "most desirable start for a new dynasty." Charlotte is the last of her line, and Midland doesn't necessarily exist anymore, so it makes sense to choose a new leader. That's the easier part - saving them from Ganishka would do it on its own, nevermind all the savior shenanigans and summoning souls and such.

The other thing is, the original Hawks are still out there - the ones who aren't dead anyway. They don't have any reason not to rally around Griffith - just like Rickert on the Hill of Swords was ready to do. And of course I'd need to explain what happened with Casca (whether or not she's dead).

So that's the main thoughts on the general PLOT, politics, war and the awkward mix of the old Hawks and new Hawks.

As for the other thing, you know, that thing -- When Night Comes Down was a straight up romance (at least as close as I ever get, being me), and I suppose the will they/won't they is covered at this point. But there's always interesting things to look at - immediately there's the question of how Guts, who even as an Apostle has a kind of insecure core - handles being next to the man who outshines the sun. Not to mention, Griffith is the destined master of all Apostles which is worth addressing if only before it makes for a seriously weird power dynamic.

Etc etc... just some rather raw unformed thoughts.

You know, it's interesting to me - I feel like a lot of the people who normally read my extremely rare writing were not enthused by When Night Comes Down, but at the same time I got some of the most effusive praise I have ever received from other people and that's kinda fascinating. CURIOUS.

[dirty-bosmer]

Me again lol. don't know why I asked the last q on anon. I just made a new blog for fandom stuff and am self conscious cause I don't have much on it. Didn't want you thinking I was a bot! Anywho, I've calmed down and actually have another question re: fic writing. I'm considering writing an Oblivion fic (thank you SO MUCH for the insp, fell in love with fic again while reading yours) and am wondering : What was your inspiration for Lucien and his relationship with Nim? It's so deliciously twisted, and I have only read one other fic that braves the territory you do (have you read Love and Blood on FF? also themes of obsession and the author's Lucien is VILE). Kinda rare to see a story that's not afraid of making him actually villainous, wicked, and believably the murderous lunatic he is in game (I dont want prince charming anymore!!!) I mean hear me out, the fanon is fun too and I got a kick out of it for years, but it's SO refreshing to read something beyond another iteration of the smooth, suave, reticent but romantic characterization in dozens of Lucien/Silencer fics.

Got any book recs for characters or relationships like the ones you write about? (hope this okay. I'm srsly just so excited rn like u kno the feeling when you finally get a fic that does it the way you see in your head and are like YES THAT LET ME CONSUME IT anywho here i'm rambling again good day)

My kind of people lmao. First of all, goodness, thank you again! I don’t know what I’m going to do with all these compliments besides become a puddle on the floor. 

That is seriously so sweet of you (despite the morbid nature of the content you are complimenting). And yeah, look, it's a story about two murderers and their descent into madness. The companionship forged between them is obviously not going to be pretty, heh. For a long while, however, I was worried no one would like it cause I gleaned that fanon Lucien is a little more... tame? Or he’s sexy XD Anyway, I've had people comment on how much of a sicko edgelord he is in the fic (both positively and negatively lol). I really appreciate that you love what I’ve done with him but just want to say there is no right or wrong way to do it! There’s stuff out there for everyone’s taste, and I am not and never will write with the intention of making the story palatable to everyone. I decided to give it my all writing him menacing and icky and pyscho cause that’s what intrigued me,. I'm happy with it! And I am Infinitely more happy that you like it too 🥰

And yeah, it makes me feel weird to say aloud that I love all that dark, twisted stuff in fiction, but the heart wants what it wants 🤷‍♀️ I just love a “romance” story that's not actually a romance at all but rather a work of horror— an exploration of the dark recesses of the human psyche that breed obsession and the all-consuming need to devour. I got a healthy, fulfilling relationship irl. I want my fictional characters to squirm a bit, and damn but I want to be equally uncomfortable when I indulge, ya know??

Gonna put the rest under a cut here:

As for inspiration regarding the relationship/Lucien, this is gonna sound so weird lol but Griffith and Guts from Berserk, Hannibal the TV show, the band Deftones (hit me up for song recs). Some creepy uncomfy books that explore similar dark themes: Damage by Justine Hart, The Vegetarian by Han Kang, Lolita by Vladimir Nabakov, You by Caroline Kepnes, Boy Parts by Eliza Clark. Also soooo many movies. There are too many to name (hit me up again hehe).

For Lucien, p much anytime I read/watch a character being a sick little freak I take note of it (see above). I’ve also listened to Dr. Ramani Durvasula’s podcasts about narcissism (she is a doctor of psychology and a leading expert in the field who was studying narcissism loooong before it became a commonly known personality trait). It really helped me understand the human capacity for manipulation and cruelty, how someone can go through life working to get what they want while only being capable of loving themselves. 

Oh, and you know, I looked it up and think I started Love or Blood a really long time ago but haven’t read any fic on FF in years cause the site is p much unusable to me. Was it about Janus Hassildor? I don’t think I ever got to the Lucien bits. Maybe I’ll pick it up again. I’ve read so many Lucien fics, I can surely read another, and if it’s similar tropes, I’ll probably enjoy it. 

While I have your attention, I would be remiss to not mention some other DB/Lucien fics that I enjoy. Next of Kin features a younger Lucien, and he and Tal (the MC) are delightful and dirty and so real. They have a great dynamic. The relationship feels earned. Also Lucien is believably a career assassin and rotten at the core while also retaining his humanity and the capacity for tenderness. I’m picky with romance in general. I can't do heavy handedness and often times I find the characterization of a loving Lucien kind of contrived or saccharine or just not for me (and that’s okay! It wasn’t written for me. We all have our preferences and mine do not skew tender D:), but this is flawlessly executed, lemme tell you. The writing is PHENOMENAL. Truly some of the best I’ve read among fic. I’ve raved about it on my blog, as it’s quite rare to find a story that balances its themes as well as this does. Also Fortune’s Favorite is very dear to me. It features another monstrous Lucien who is undeniably gross and predatory. He’s not the main focus, but the story is otherwise full of angst and sadness. So too light and love and oof, I got misty eyed at several parts. There are multiple relationships in this fic, each of them juicy, but Lucien’s relationship with the MC is a horrific descent, quite a disaster (in the best of ways) and truly so entertaining to read.

So yeah that was... a lot lol. Hope it helps. Also please tag me in anything you write! I get so excited to see new Oblivion fics and would love to talk shop and writing. It’s how we learn knew things and improve :)) 

[ultrastarbee]

Hey bee ^^ can I req an AU about Ran being a Ceo or something where him and reader has to get married (arranged marriage) and at first ran was super mean towards her while reader did everything to make amends (cook for him and stuff) Because he thinks reader was the one who planned the marriage and stuff and then when truth comes to light, the reader was hurt and ran tried making it up to her, along the way he realised he slowly developed feelings and how wonderful reader are ...so happy ending?

It's angst to fluff (you can put nsfw too ^^) , I'm just in a very shitty mood today :')

-penguin

Hello lovely Penguin! I'm sorry to hear about it, hope you feel better soon, honey. I really enjoy writing for Ran, so let's give this boy more love! I guess I'm on the marriage head today? This is the third request I received about this kind of things. It's adorable and you may be getting my first nsfw here. Maybe, maybe? Yeah I did it. Please call all the bees back to the hive, Ran is stealing my tumblr purity help!

Title: A not-so-bad husband Request: sure! Couple: Ran x fem!reader Category: Angsty to fluffy with some smut Content Warning: arranged marriage, couple fight, bad language, nsfw content, condomless sex Word Count: 1.394 Summary: Ran need to marry you so he can be the head of the company. He hates the idea, but does it anyway. Your marriage sucks till he knows you weren't behind this arranged marriage A/N: I liked the way things went here. I like to write longer like this for one character

MASTERLIST  .......  RULES  .......  SERIES LIST

This is not the life you dreamed about. You weren't looking for a husband now, but your father made the decision for you. Before your father retired he made Haitani Ran marry you to be the new CEO of the company. Even if it's an arranged marriage you can try to make a happy life of it, can't you? Not if it depends on your husband. Ran is furious about the marriage, so you wonder why the fuck he accepted your father's proposal? Even worse: Ran is not mad with your father, he's mad at you. As if you wanted to marry someone like him.

You look at your husband sitted across you at the table. He is eating the dinner you made after a fight you two had. Your husband is really handsome with his long dark hair, violet eyes and strong body. Before you two married Ran was always funny and kinda flirty around you, but now he is just serious or angry all the time. You wonder if it was such a shitty deal for him marrying you. Are you so bad for him to make his mood change so much? Even though you are husband and wife you don't do anything as a couple. you two have separated bedrooms, only see each other at night and rarely eat together. "What?" Ran caught you staring at him. You sigh and take your dinner to the fridge. You can eat later without his heavy atmosphere around.

You lean over a wall exhausted of this marriage while some tears run over your face. You are a good wife. You do what you can to make amends with your husband even though you don't even know why Ran is so mad. You too had no choice on marrying him and no one see you complaining about it. Maybe he hated your guts even before. Still eating at the dining room Ran hears you sobbing, but he doesn't move. He knows you are miserable, but he is not happy either. Ran gives you time to recompose yourself and as soon as he can't hear you anymore he takes his empty plate to the kitchen only to find you asleep curled up sitting agains a wall.

"Fuck" Ran knows he messed up. He shouldn't treat his wife like this, but knowing you made such a low move to make him marry you makes his blood boil. Even being so angry Ran takes you on his arms like you were just a small doll and leaves you on your own bed. Ran had never enterd your bedroom before. It was so different from his and smelled like lavender. The place looks comfy. After leaving you on your bed Ran gets closer to your window thinking about closing it, but he stops now watching at the lights outside. At night the city lights look like touchable stars.

You wake up and soon is aware of his presence. Your husband never entered your bedroom before and he even carried you there, maybe Ran's heart is getting softer towards you. The outside lights are flashing on his distracted face making him look even more handsome than usual. "Ran?" your sleepy voice calls him back to the world.

"Fuck off" he closes the window now with the same disgusted face as ever.

"Why are you always like this?" you are so fucking tired of this treatment you decide it's time to put an end to it.

"Why you ask? Well, maybe I like to decide thing for myself!" Ran's voice is dry and low.

"Do you think I don't? I'm so miserable in this marriage as you!" you snap at him and Ran's face grew angrier "I thought we could find a way, but you don't want it, do you?"

"WHY THE HELL WOULD I?" now Ran is screaming over your cynicism. He laughs, but no humor on it "how the fuck can you say that after trapping me on a marriage?".

"Really, Ran? Do you really think I wanted this? You are the least person I wanted to be with!" it's a lie, but it hurts both of you anyway "I will talk to my father again. Maybe he can reverse all this mess".

"Yeah, call daddy to complain about what you chose" Ran is ready to leave your room, but he stops as he hears your next words.

"I didn't choose this, Ran" your voice is full of sorrow "I was happy the way I was living my life, I wouldn't have done this to us".

He left without saying anything more. You couldn't sleep that night and so didn't Ran, that's why he came back to your room. You hear a knock on the door and invite him in. You are sitting on your bed looking at him. The outside lights the only thing lighting up the room.

"Listen, you really has nothing to do with this mess?" Ran's voice is way softer than the last time. You shake your head and he comes closer, sitting by your side on the bed.

"My father knew you were single, so he made the marriage contract" you explain without looking at him "thought you knew".

"No" Ran sighs. He was treating you so bad and now he is so fucking regretful he can't even look at you.

"I'm sorry if I made you mad or uncomfortable. I promise I will look for a good lawyer to cancel the contract with my father" you apologize and Ran's heart gets upset. He is the one who should apologize.

"Please don't" without even thinking much about it Ran holds both of your hands and is now kneeling in front of you "Y/n, please keep being my wife. I promise I will be a good husbad. You deserve a good husband. I can be good for you".

"I would love to keep being your wife, Ran" you touch his face softly.

"I will make up to you, you will see" he smiles to you. How long has it been since he smiled to you? Your heart beats fast looking at him.

You liked Ran even before you two were trapped in an arranged marriage, but the feelings were pushed aside since he started to treat you shitty. Now Ran is on his knees with the most flirty smile he ever showed you. The outside lights painting his face purple, green and then red. Ran lays down his head over your thighs and starts kissing them. He never saw the appeal on nightdresses, but now he understands it. You can't help but look at his focused lustful face. Ran proceeds on licking your inner thighs wich he just pushes aside his way to your pussy. He stops to take some hair off his face, so you hold all of his hair before pulling him to you again. You hear a small giggle. Ran likes how you know what you want and now you want him to be your good husband.

You are short of breath as Ran's tongue goes deeper, but your husband thinks he is funny, so when he feels your grip on his hair tighten he goes back to just kiss your thighs. "Ran, stop messing around" you pant pushing his head away from you thighs. "Don't like the game, my pretty wife?" Ran has his signature grin on, but his eyes are hungry. First he gets you both standing up to get rid of your clothes. As soon as the clothes are thrown on the floor your hands are all over him. You loved his strong body he usually hides under his clothes, but Ran will not waste any more time. Taking you in his arms you are once again on your bed, now laying dow with him kissing you deeply. Slowly sliding his length inside you Ran is careful to know if you are comfortable with him inside, but holy shit you are beyond comfortable. He smiles sinfully watching delight. Your moans are the only thing he cares while moving. Ran's big hands grip on both your sides as he moves even faster. Stronger. Deeply. He takes out cumming on your belly while kissing you passionately.

The outside lights red, purple and green painting both your bodies now. Ran will do his best to keep you happy as his wife.

[i-like-turkey]

Let’s Talk About My Earlier Post

The NCIS Hawai’i finale was perfect beginning to end. Every Kacy scene delivered. The acting and writing were superb. The kiss at the end had me doing cartwheels in my apartment. I was so amped up from the Kacy reunion and their kiss, that I got less than 4 hours of sleep according to my Fitbit. That feels accurate because I spent most of the night tossing back and forth while the kiss replayed in my head.

I woke up this morning a bit groggy. Took my dog for a long walk. Had some more Kacy thoughts. Made breakfast. Had some time before I needed to work, so I fired off a quick post about those thoughts. Shortly after it went up I got a barrage of rude asks, so I deleted it. But I stand by what I wrote. Could I have phrased it better? Yes. Could I have added more context? Yes. So that’s what I’m going to do.

The post was about 1) being a fandom elder; and 2) things that trigger memories.

Let’s start with point 2.  Brains are great and strange and can do some pretty neat stuff such as associating certain things with other things. For example, when I’m out walking my dog past a freshly cut field of grass, all I need is one whiff and my brain takes me back to 8th/9th grade when I spent hours playing lacrosse on fields that smelled just like that. Those were some of the happiest days of my life. I love that smell and I love getting that memory triggered. But when I’m walking past a seafood restaurant and get a whiff of fried fish? I gag; my brain taking me back to when my entire family had some bad fried seafood and ended up puking our guts out for a week.

As for part 1, I’m old. I came of age in the days when you couldn’t have queer people on tv unless they were miserable or the butt of jokes. Things ‘improved’ as I got a bit older. Women characters on shows would be given a lady love interest for a 3-4 episode arc around sweeps. They’d share a kiss. Then the love interest would disappear and the regular character would go back to her dude loving ways. The dalliance with another woman was rarely mentioned. It was biphobic and homophobic as fuck, but it’s the best we had back then. I’d see commercials for these arcs while watching tv with my family, endure my mom making homophobic comments about them, then sneak into the living room to tape the episode using our VCR so I could watch it later. The kisses were usually kinda shit in comparison to the m/f kisses on the shows. They’d be poorly lit, shot at weird angles, and something would usually be blocking their mouths for most of the shot.

As I got a older, the rep improved just a tiny bit more. Regular characters could be queer without getting punished/mocked for it. But when they were in relationships, their treatment in comparison to m/f couples was shit. Kisses were still poorly lit, poorly blocked, and didn’t last long. Think South of Nowhere and Pretty Little Liars for this era.

The feelings I associate with this era of shitty rep are kinda bad and hard to describe. I was desperate for anything that could give me insight into the gay feelings I was having and later to just confirm that people like me existed. I would get so excited for episodes that featured f/f content but then be bummed out after watching them, because they never lived up to the hype from the commercials, the arcs ended poorly, and/or I could see the homophobic double standard at play. So disappointment? Yeah. Frustration? Yeah. But that’s not quite it and I don’t think I can pin it down further.

So I posted this:

My point here is that Kacy and Jilius and Ernie’s hookup with the lady cop character are all being treated the same. None of the kisses last long. They are all shot at wonky angles. That’s ok. This is a navy cop procedural on CBS. I don’t expect or WANT Showtime stuff for this show. I am happy. This is what good representation looks like. It’s everything my younger self would have wanted.

However, all those years of consuming bad wlw kisses has created an association in my head. So I see this:

And my brain takes me back to this:

Yes, the second example is so much worse than Kacy. But they are similar enough to trigger the association and the result is that I’m feeling what I felt back in the day and that feeling is 😐

And that kinda sucks. Past bad tv is coming back to haunt me. So I was curious to know if any of my fellow ‘olds’ were experiencing a similar thing.

I don’t think this a wrong or controversial take and it’s definitely not something meant to cause discourse. What is shitty is coming into my asks to tell me I’m “ruin[ing] it” or telling me to focus on something else. Ruining it for whom? And what gives you the right to tell me what to focus on?

Idk if those anons were people who saw my posts in the tags or people that have followed me. But if it’s the latter, y’all chill out. Read posts. Think them through. Don’t police how other people engage in media. And if you have a problem, come off anon and discuss it with me.

[chibi-writes]

I read the dorm leader and vice dorm leaders child chewing on something. But what about a child s/o who turns into a child due to mishap (I'm looking at ace and grim) and the dorm leader looking after the child mc. Thank you. If it's okay, can i make a request again like this but with vice dorm leaders next time?

Feel free to make requests anytime I have my requests open! I’ll usually be happy to write it!

Riddle Rosehearts

- “Trappola? Grim? Explain why s/o a child.” You could kinda sorta tell Riddle wasn’t happy with the incident. 

- You kick yourself out of Ace’s arms (effectively getting him in the gut, look, kids kicking you HURT man) and ran over to Riddle.

- “Widdle!” Holy shit Riddle is going to explode cause oh god that was adorable do it again your smile is so cute oh Great Seven help him.

- Riddle agreed to take care of you, under the condition this never happen again. And Grim and Ace score 100 on their next test.

- Riddle definitely had the help of Trey and Cater while taking care of you. 

- It was a breeze so long as you didn’t cry. When you did, Riddle would panic and only have a vague idea of what to do. Usually calms you down by indulging you in hugs and some small snacks.

Leona Kingscholar

- This one is less Leona taking care of you and more Ruggie. 

- Leona sees Ruggie hold up lil you and he just kinda... shrugs it off. Now you’re another Cheka, and I don’t think he has the patience for that

- You may or may not have affectionately dubbed Leona and Ruggie as “Weeona and Wuggie”

- Something that does happen (rarely) is when Leona naps and you escape Ruggie, you’ll curl up by Leona.

- If he happens to wake up, he’ll raise a brow, pat you on the head (maybe) and go back to sleep.

- At least like this, you aren’t making any noise.

Azul Ashengrotto

- “Ah Trappola. Did you come back for another dea-” Boom. A Child.

- Blinks for a minute to process what happened. Ace explains himself and Grim and Azul looks a little... how shall I say... miffed.

- Azul lets out a huff and agrees to take care of you. (He would have anyway) 

- His slightly sour mood is does a complete 180 once he hears, “A- zu-.... ZUZU!”

- hOLY SHIT YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO KILL HIM- j/ he’s crying it’s too cute oh god someone help him Jade call the ambulance he’s having a cardiac arrest OH GREAT SEVEN HELP HIM hj/

- At first he lets Floyd (gently) play around with you to tucker you out a bit. It works wonders when dealing with kids trust me. And when you’re finally tired, he’ll let you rest right beside him on one of the VIP room couches. 

- He might even sing you to sleep. After all he does have a wonderful voice. 

Kalim Al Asim

- Jamil comes into the room holding little you and Kalim wants an explanation asap. Why are you little? WHAT HAPPENED

- Jamil explains it’s a temporary de-aging potion caused by someone spilling one on you by mistake.

- “Ka-...... K- KAWIM.” comes out of your mouth as you point to Kalim. Oh god his heart. Kalim’s poor heart someone help him it’s too cute. 

- Kalim offers to help take care of lil you (you’re his s/o and all) with the help of Jamil. (Jamil mostly there to supervise just in case)

- God forbid you cry. That would launch both Kalim and Jamil into panic mode because I highly doubt either have much experience with little kids. Would attempt to calm you down with food or head pats and hugs. It works. surprisingly enough.

- Kalim and you runs around and play until you’re tuckered out and before a nap you eat and next thing you know Kalim and you are passed the hell out on his (huge) bed. 

- Y’all are too cute I swear- Jamil TAKE A PICTURE TO IMMORTALIZE THIS ALREADY-

Vil Schoenheit

- When Rook comes into the Pomfiore dorm holding a child, Vil just kinda like “Why... Why do you have a child Rook?” Rook explains that’s you but someone spilt a potion on you and now need someone to take of you.

- Vil is fine taking care of you just don’t destroy anything. Hides all the makeup if he has any accessible or just lying around.

- Would offer to play basically Runway Model. (y’know when you were a kid and you would pretend to be a model regardless of whether you were dressed up or not? Yeah that) 

- You wouldn’t give any sort of cute nickname, since Vil is a bit of a hard name to mess up, but every time you said his name he just go “ok. That’s cute.” and pat you on the head. 

- Puts you to bed before working on some of his studies. He checks up on you every now and again with soft smile. ‘How cute’

Idia Shroud

- Well, first things first, Idia already doesn’t understand why there’s a child in his room other than Ortho. Second, why does said child concern him?

- Wait that’s you... Ah... okay... WAIT WHAT-

- Idia knows nothing about real life children but the internet does! Does little quick research just in case, and proceeds to attempt to take care of you. “I- Id- Iida!” Close but no kid. It’s adorable though. You try again. “I- Idiwa!” Close but double the adorable! 

- Accidentally focuses more on taking care of you than himself throughout the day but it’s fine Ortho’s there to at least remind him that food and water are something he needs to y’know SURVIVE

- Great seven help him if you cry. He’ll try and not panic cause Noise, but calms you down relatively enough to get you to eat or drink something. 

- but anyway, distracts you with video games. Bright colors keep you entertained enough right?

- You constantly laugh at the scenes and animation sequences and even some of Idia’s own commentary. 

-You kinda get sleepy and drift off while he’s focusing on a boss. Once he’s done he sees you napping and puts a blanket over you to keep you warm. His room is probably hella cold cause of all the computer stuff.

Malleus Draconia

- Lilia walks in with lil you and Malleus is confused and amused. “Why is a human child here?”

- Lilia states you failed to make a certain potion with your lab partners and it resulted in this. Ah. That makes sense. 

- He picks you up, basically beaming at the adorable child of man before him. You smile back, then point to him and say “M- Mm- Mal-” “Take your time little one-” “MAL MAL” Great Seven help him that was so cute holy shit 

- Happily takes care of you (he could reverse it with magic but this is cuter and it’ll be over by tomorrow so why not y’know)

- Is really really good about taking care of you. You rarely cried and that was when Malleus had to grab something from the other room but other than that, it was great!

- You fall asleep after awhile and Malleus stays with you, keeping you close, which leads to an adorable moment for Lilia to capture in picture form.

[english-mace]

so @deuceofgears posted about a writer thought-question - ‘what three writers would you pick so you could channel their writing skills/abilities at any time’ & now I’m pondering! right off the top of my head, Terry Pratchett and Ursula K Le Guin.

Pratchett could do so many things at once - humour, yes, but also character, and exciting plot events, and interesting unusual world-elements and pastiche and reference and satire and-- But aside from that, by the later books, he’s one of those writers who always had a crystal-clear theme to every book, a question that book was asking, a topic it tackled. That’s rare. So many books are about Things Happening, and his are that also, but you’ll get a book on the nature of belief or the inadvisability of monarchy or the necessity of learning to forgive yourself for what you were when you were young or the interplay of war w/ gender. He asked questions, and gave multiple characters multiple answers to them. & I really admire and aspire to that.

Le Guin... Le Guin was a poet, and it shone through in some of the sparse beauty, but she also had the ability to gut you with a person’s situation and emotion and bravery. Tombs of Atuan will always get to me the most, but I wish I knew how to wield her efficiency, because those books are so very tight and I am boggled every time to realise it. I have a copy of the British edition of the complete Earthsea and it’s just a double-thick mass market paperback, it’s tiny.

...and then I get stuck, because. I raised myself on Anne McCaffrey, and I retain an undying fondness for the author for writing women and women and women across all the genres and pages I mostly only got to see men on, but. But. Oh, McCaffrey. I do not yearn to channel ye.

John Wyndham is the other childhood beloved, and - maybe? But his thing was also sparse efficiency, except with a focus on fascinating thought experiments and plot, and I don’t know that picking a scifi author who I admire for ideation when I mostly don’t write scifi is quite right either.

You know. Maybe I’d go with Jenn Lyons. I wish I could write epic fantasy with the complexity she does; I get an inside view of a lot of her plotting and I still don’t understand how she keeps it all straight, let alone comes up with all the ideas. She’ll routinely juggle a half-dozen different civilizations with totally different magic systems and norms, epic culture-clashes even amongst friends & constant allegiance shuffling. Grand battles and epic spells and horrifying betrayals and gruesome trials. It’s kinda awe-inspiring. Not least because all of that is stuff I’m so bad at. (And, unlike Rothfuss and Martin, she actually finishes series...)

Who’d you channel, if you had the choice?

[dingbatnix]

What's your most favourite AU/story you've written so far?

Mmm probably one I haven't posted yet, I'm still working on it–but! I really love the concept of this one. It's not g/t, buuut...I do have Dream being kinda big in it.

So anyway, for the story Dream is a warden hybrid, and Quackity finds that out by breaking Dream's enchanted mask. (it hides his hybrid features.)

Well....it doesn't turn out too well for Dream. You see, wardens are...difficult to kill, and, if you can get some of their horns or other parts...you see where I'm going with this, right? Quackity starts his own business of selling bits of Dream's warden features, (unfortunately for Dream, he is in what I'm calling a 'respawn glitch' which is like a horror story-esqu thing to be caught in, and he comes back fully whole, but with whatever scar that killed him. Of course, Big Q doesn't kill him every time he harvests parts, so he has to wait until he bleeds out or dies from infection to respawn : )

Sam allows it, albeit reluctantly, but absolutely will not help Quackity (it hits too close to home with his own experiences with hybrid trafficking, he is a rather rare mob hybrid) so pretty much just does his stuff around the prison and ignores both Quackity and Dream.

(taking a page from @giant-tiny-squid 's book and writing an anecdote : )

Sam suppressed a shudder at the other man's words. He stood stiffly, looking down at him with mild disgust. As a hybrid himself, Quackity should know what he was saying. He should know the horrifying implications of what he was talking about. Harvesting. He wanted to harvest Dream's parts and sell them.

Sam's hands shook slightly, and he hissed out a dark plume of hot smoke that drifted heavily from the vents of his gas mask.

“Do what you want, Quackity, but I want no part of it.” Sam turned away, breathing deeply. As a near-victim of hybrid trafficking himself, he wasn’t going to participate in anything of that sort. It hit too close to home. But…it was still Dream. Sam wasn’t going to go out of his way to help the man, not after all he’d done.

But of course, if you're selling bits of someone, there's a chance that somebody's going to recognize a scar or a mark or something. Namely, two of the few Smp members that know Dream is a warden hybrid, George and Sapnap.

"Y-y'know how Dream had a notch in one of his antlers, the one he got from when he fell through one of the trees he was running on right off of a cliff? And you know how it was sorta shaped like a pig? George nodded slowly, horror gradually starting to twist in the pit of his gut.

With a shaking hand, Sapnap reached out and pointed at an inch long, distinctly pig shaped indent near the base of the antler.

Poor Sap and Goggy are horrified, but what are they gonna do? Break Dream out of prison? The answer is yes. Yes they are.

So, that's what they start to do. They start to plan how to get their friend out of the prison and possibly murder Sam and Quackity.

Oh! Did I mention that I have Dream's jaw wired shut because his screams shake the surrounding land of the prison? Benefits of being a warden hybrid, I suppose : )

Anyway, that's the current favorite of mine! Hope y'all liked the unexpected story-bit splurge : 3

[ibis-gt]

ok ok i got the writing bug again. cam drives luther to the hospital to figure out why he's got Shrinks When Gay Disorder. 2k words.

~~~

“Well, Mr. Algers, from what I can tell you’ve got a very rare, very difficult autoimmune disease. We call it Gulliver’s Hanahaki.”

Luther sits glumly on the examining table, clad in a paper gown. He resists the urge to pick at the edges of it, instead keeping a tight grip on the table. Doctor’s offices always make him fidgety.

“Basically,” Dr. Townsend continues, “when your body encounters a specific form of stress, it will react in an attempt to defend itself, resulting in the reduction of size you’ve been experiencing.”

“So is there… any kind of cure?” Luther asks.

“Well, no. It’s not the kind of disease you cure.”

“Treatment of any kind? Pills I can take, shots, anything to stop it?” An edge of desperation creeps into his voice, the paper covering the table crinkling as his fingers dug into it.

“Nothing I can give you, I’m sorry to say,” Dr. Townsend sighs. “Unfortunately, its rarity means that it’s difficult to study. Any medication is still in the early trial stages and it wouldn’t be ethical for me to prescribe. There are two forms of preventative measures you can take to avoid further episodes, however.”

Luther straightens up from his slump. Thank god, something to get this nightmare to finally end!

“The first is very effective. Since the episodes are triggered by attraction to another individual and the anxiety resulting from that attraction, if you are able to avoid interactions with that individual altogether, no further anxiety will be triggered.”

Luther deflates, shoulders sagging. “That won’t work,” he mumbles. “We live in the same building.”

Dr. Townsend nods sympathetically. “I thought it might be something like that,” he sighs. “Your other option is to confess.”

Luther reels back like he’s been slapped. “Confess?”

“Yes. These episodes are made worse by bottling up your attraction or attempting to deny it. This causes the stress to compound and become more intense. If you admit your feelings to the individual you’re attracted to, then you will remove some of that stress and your episodes will be less frequent and less severe.”

“But- but that would only stress me out more!” Luther says, throwing his arms out to the sides. “I mean, I mean what if he says no? What if he says yes? What if he -”

Dr. Townsend puts a hand on Luther’s shoulder, cutting him off. His hand is… very large. Too large. Dr. Townsend and Luther are about the same height, after all, but his hand barely fits on Luther’s shoulder. Luther realizes suddenly that he’d been shrinking, and takes a deep breath. “Okay. Okay. I see your point. I just gotta tell him how I feel. Easy peasy.”

“Hm.” the doctor says. He lets his hand drop and a tinge of sympathy colors his serious expression. “Good luck, Luther. This is a very difficult disease to live with, even once you’ve mitigated your stress as much as possible. If there’s anything else I can do to support you, please let me know. Otherwise, our consultation is at an end for today. I’ll start reaching out and seeing what options there are for you - maybe a support group would help?”

“Thank you, doctor. That would be nice, actually. Um. Quick question - how… small can I get? Could I just… entirely disappear?”

Dr. Townsend lets out a huge sigh. “Well… on record, the smallest a person with Gulliver’s Hanahaki has been reliably measured at is about one and a quarter inch. There are rumors of people getting down to five centimeters, but frankly, that’s just ridiculous.”

Luther stares at the doctor for a long moment. “Right. Ridiculous.”

~~~

When he gets out to the waiting room, Luther is surprised to see Cam sitting there.

“I thought you left? You didn’t have to stick around.”

“Figured you might need a ride back. Wouldn’t want you shrinking on the way over.” Cam stands and stretches, rolling his neck. “Ugh. Little stiff,” he mutters.

Luther tries to get his racing heart back under control. He’s a little shorter than usual, and having Cam loom over him like this… it’s not doing him any favors in the height department. But he manages to keep a handle on himself as they walk out to the parking lot. Cam’s quiet for a bit, but once the car starts up, the questions begin.

“So, what’d the doctor say?” Cam asks, glancing over his shoulder as he backs out of the parking spot. A little ball of panic starts to form in Luther’s gut. Oh, nothing much, just that I’m going to shrink every time I’m awkward around my crush. Which is you, by the way.

“Uh, it’s… an autoimmune disorder,” Luther mumbles. “Rare one. They don’t know a lot about it yet.”

“Okay, makes sense,” Cam says. Luckily his eyes are on the road, so he doesn’t notice Luther losing an inch. “What’s it called?”

“G - “ Luther starts, then catches himself. What if Cam looks it up later and figures it out? He shrinks a little bit more and swallows, trying to clear his throat. “I… the name was… it was very long and I didn’t really, uh, catch it.”

Cam chuckles quietly. The sound reverberates around the inside of Luther’s skull. It’s so musical and sweet. He clutches the seatbelt and shrinks some more.

“Yeah, some of them have weird names. What kinda treatment are you lookin’ at?”

“Uh… this was just like, a consultation, to identify it? So we’re gonna do treatment next time.” Luther doesn’t even sound convincing to his own ears. Cam glances sideways at him and his heart skips a beat.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Cam says, looking the other way as he makes a turn. “It’s medical stuff, it’s personal. I’m sorry for prying.”

“No, no, it’s not that! It’s… just a lot to take in, and I’m still - there’s a couple things it could be actually and they don’t know for sure so they took blood samples, and there’s tests that are gonna come back later, and um, uh…” Luther trails off. He’s shrunk so much now that the seat belt presses uncomfortably across his chest and neck, and the tension on it makes it difficult to adjust. He’d been staring out the windshield as he rambled, but now he’s too short to see much more than the sky. He feels Cam pull the car over and turn off the engine. Luther slowly turns to his left and looks up at Cam, who stares down at him in turn. Luther, maybe two feet high now, offers a shaky smile.

“There’s, um. No cure. Or treatment,” he says in a soft, wavering voice. “I just… live like this now.”

Cam tilts his head to one side like he’s trying to decide on something. He shifts in his seat, turns his body a little to face Luther, and props up one arm on the headrest. Then he sighs.

“You’re too short to sit in the front now,” he says. He glances to the backseat. Luther follows his gaze and stares in horror at the car seat sitting neatly behind the driver’s side.

“Oh, no,” Luther whispers. He raises his voice as Cam shifts again and undoes his seat belt. “No, no, no, no, I am not going in that! Cam!” But it’s too late. Cam opens the car door and gets out, then shuts it behind him. Luther slams down on the release button for his own seat belt with both hands, keeping his eyes on Cam through the windshield as he walks around the front of the car. The belt retracts with such force that it knocks him sideways, and it takes him a moment to right himself and get his bearings again. Before he can try to run or hide, the door opens, and Cam reaches in for him.

“No, please, come on,” Luther pleads. He backs up as far as he can, but Cam easily gets his hand around Luther’s middle and lifts him up. “I’m an adult, a full grown man, I can’t go in a baby seat! Please, Cam, don’t put me in that thing, why do you even have it? It’s so humiliating, you can’t do this!”

“Number one,” Cam says, opening the back door. “I can put you in it, I have plenty of practice wrangling my niece in there.” He sets Luther down and gets to work on the straps, easily subduing Luther’s halfhearted attempts to squirm free. “Number two, this is about traffic laws. If I’m driving around with someone under four feet in my front seat, I’m gonna get pulled over, and if you wanna explain to the officer that you’re a full grown adult and pay the ticket, be my guest. And number three,” he says, clicking the last buckle into place, “this is about your safety. We get in an accident, that seat belt up front is gonna do you more harm than good.” He straightens up again and shuts the door. Luther puts his head in his hands, trying not to break down in tears. That would only make it worse. The words ‘this is about your safety’ echo around his head in his father’s voice. He hears the driver’s side door open and close, hears Cam settle himself in, and manages to speak up.

“Just… please don’t laugh. Or take pictures, or anything.” He risks a glance between his fingers. Cam is looking at him in the rearview mirror, no amusement or pity visible in his eyes.

“I won’t.” The sincerity in his voice takes Luther by surprise. “This isn’t funny. This is really serious, and I’m sorry I had to do that.” He turns the key in the ignition and pulls the car back onto the road. “We’re nearly home. You won’t have to be there for long.”

Luther stares miserably out the window at the sky above. True to Cam’s word, it’s only another ten minutes before they’re pulling into the apartment complex’s lot. As soon as the car’s turned off, Luther starts pulling at the straps, trying to figure out how to get himself free. Cam comes around to his side again and opens the door.

“I got it, I got it,” Luther assures him. “It’s just this one, right? No… wait, this one? Or is it… um…”

“Let me,” Cam says softly. He reaches in and has the whole contraption undone in an instant. Then, to Luther’s surprise, Cam scoops him up and holds him against his chest like he’s a toddler. Luther’s arms hang over Cam’s shoulder as he blinks in shock. Cam whistles as he approaches the door to their building, fishing his keys out of his pocket. He opens the door one-handed and starts the climb up the stairs to their floor. Luther should say something, this is horribly demeaning, but… it’s also undeniably very nice. He feels supported and safe, and he’s so close to Cam but the usual stab of anxiety is totally absent. He could almost drift off like this.

Cam reaches his door and unlocks it, then stops suddenly and looks at Luther.

“Oh! Shit! I’m so sorry, it was kind of like muscle memory, I guess? God, I’m sorry.” He lowers Luther to the floor and looks away, rubbing the back of his neck.

“That’s… that’s okay. The stairs would’ve sucked to climb right now anyway.” Luther should leave, Cam’s still got the door open for him, but… “Do you mind if I stay for a bit? Just until I get a little bigger? Um, I can’t really reach my door handle right now, so…”

Cam smiles, and that familiar pang of anxiety flutters up inside Luther again. “Yeah, you can hang out here. You’re always welcome.” He turns and trudges towards the kitchen, his footsteps shaking the floor as he passes Luther. “It’s pot roast tonight, anyway. Even if you get your height back in the next five minutes, I’d insist you stay for dinner.”

Luther thinks about the doctor’s advice. Confess your feelings, and all of this gets easier. But when he goes to open his mouth, he loses another three inches all in one go. Luther digs his nails into his palms and sets his jaw. Not just yet, then. But soon. Eventually.

One of these days.