#I rarely get upset but holy fuck this keeps happening ALL THE TIME and I'm sick of it

[zenmai--jikake--no--komoriuta]

AHHHHH I'm so fucking angry, been waiting all week to try for the Ruby Dragon in XIV and spent the past hour prepping and getting my AA stacks and then I come back at window open to find our shitty internet's DCed me AGAIN and lost all of my stacks..................... this is why I can't fucking play XIV anymore (I've had more stable connection than this on satellite in the literal middle of nowhere at my parent's house for fuck's sake) so it's so rage-inducing that this is happening daily and so close to the city... what the actual fuck is wrong with the connection here and can it fucking get it together, this is the second important fishing window I've lost in weeks due to constant disconnects....... can't play battle content, can't do side content, can't watch videos or stream music, I hate this and the only good thing to come of it is that I now have more time tonight to play P3R WHICH I WAS DOING ANYWAY HRRRRRRGBDLFNFBFGR,,,,, ,,

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

me rushing to your bed like that candance MOM HOLY FUCK meme with chicken soup bc mwa anyways let's get this bread 💬 with jaide stone and zinnia since women hating women is a thing 😔🤙 (might throw you more idk) also highly honored to have my ocs in your s/i list 🫡 those are my boys

i may not be drinking chicken soup but i have nice tea to warm my itchy throat ✨✨ thank you mwamwa also of COURSE i have to include some of your OCs especially clear. it's almost hard for me to imagine the story without maroon or clear in it 😭

okay. oh no. my switch has been flickered. you decided to ask ME about ZINNIA? aka the woman who completely altered ruby's childhood? while I understand her hatred towards steven and devon corp itself she's still got issues that im not EXCUSING MF 💥 women hate women still exists im afraid and jaide stone is nothing but a hater when this lady comes around 💥

okay so let's start in the R/S arc. the salamence event happens, ruby gets injured. sounds easy right? sure, but why did it even happen in the first place? nobody knew where the salamence came from - that's what jaide held the biggest contempt for.

"who in the world, was this sick and twisted to allow their dragon creature come to fight harmless children?"

she didn't have the answers yet, but the day would get even worse when she also learns that steven's devon corporation has gone through with an accident that had something to do with... releasing the sky legend. and it was because of a salamence as well. while I imagine steven refusing to disclose that specific detail about caging a beast down (corporation secrets, you know?) it's still easy to tell jaide that he's very upset, combined with him learning what happened to ruby too. it was not a great day for anyone, not even professor birch, I'm sure.

but from that day onward, jaide would do her best to find out the perpetrator that caused this trauma on the children, she's not just doing this for ruby, but for sapphire as well. she's had this same feeling as before, when gold gets in trouble for dealing with the evil scums of the g/s/c arc. she just knew that feeling too well, and didn't want it to happen again. her willpower to find out the truth keeps expanding as she's forced to watch the strained relationship between ruby and steven become stronger as time goes by - they rarely talk about that incident, but it's like a core memory to everyone involved there.

proceeding to the oras arcs, i can't really imagine jaide to be very involved from the get-go, but that would be until she would learn about the meteorite that would come to destroy all of hoenn - she's more or less of a supporting character. i would have to reread this again to give you a full answer on what she can do

but let's skip to the good part, when jaide does learn that zinnia was the one responsible for all this. i can't remember the sequence of events too well, but let's assume it all happened on this part where zinnia brings fourth the reformed magma and aqua team. (again i could be assuming the sequence of events wrong but yeah shh)

she has no idea who she is, but from the way she spoke so lowly about devon (a company that everyone loves) and having that intimidating salamence by her side - she couldn't help but assume maybe this could be the one. combined with jaide's smart sense of pokemon nature reading - she can only assume it was the aggressive salamence that fought without rhyme or reason from years ago + the same salamence also attacked steven's corporation.

i like to imagine jaide didn't say much as first, as she's not one to be so brash and act upon it quickly and allows zinnia to proudly monologue about her plans, slowly trying to understand what's going on. part of her plan includes stealing the keystones to win the favor of the sky beast, and who else had a keystone? steven stone.

sending out her goodra, it immobilzes steven with its goo and commands it to steal his stickpin - jaide panics but steven wanted her out of this. but just in the nick of time:

ruby comes in a clutch to stop the goodra from stealing his stickpin. distracted, jaide would try to lunge at zinnia and try to apprehend her and keep her in place - grabbing her wrists and looking at her dead in the eyes - quite the angry mother, huh? while she didn't understand the whole context of what's going on, she knew that zinnia was bad business and wanted her to talk it out. that's when jaide asks her to confirm her speculations

"your salamence, that was the same one from 9 years ago, wasn't it? it wrecked havoc in the corporation."

zinnia would snicker.

"of course! it was also thanks to a little boy that made it even more agitated, and it broke off the cages to set the sky legend free."

her suspicions would be correct, it was the same one that harmed her son 9 years ago. the events lined up exactly with the woman's words.

jaide... was furious. but, she can't just fight all of a sudden, it's not like her but the least she can do was to call upon her ursaring to keep zinnia pinned - I mean, she got the boss, right?

zinnia would snicker at steven again.

"you're married? it would seem you're not the most honest husband around."

jaide assumed she was just... trying to piss her off. but in reality, jaide was missing a few chunks of context that steven had regrettably hidden away from her.

ruby stopped his mother from being passive aggressive towards the perpetrator, and would give up his and emerald's keystone bracelets just to simply say that he "wants this to be over."

it wouldn't be long before zinnia sets out, thanking ruby for the keystones and flying out of the place. jaide was stunned, steven looked dejected again.

it would seem he still has to clear up a few things about what he and his father does for a living.

it's complicated to be a family and business man at the same time.

[agropuff]

tell me everything abt hicktown RIGHT NOW!!!!!

WOah calm down there friend no need to pull out the capital letters and the five (5) exclamation marks! (tysm for asking abt them they're in my head 24/7 and I'm kissing u right on ur beautiful noggin)

okay, this is really hard to explain itd be easier to show but I have ZERO (0) pages done so ur gonna have to stick with me okay pleas and thank u.

Hicktown takes place in a small town in the 80s and focuses (I'm gonna switch POVs a couple thousand times so sorry in advance) on Jacob, who has just moved into said small town to live with his stepbrother Joe and him being the amazing family man he continues his fathers legacy by leaving a child by their lonesome to go party with his friends and now Jacob's on his own so he just explores this big ass house, did I mention Joe's family is rich? Remember that.

Switch POVs we're with Joe at this random party hanging out with his girlfriend (Angie) and his BFF (Eddie) on a patio (very important detail/s). Angie fucks off to who knows where and so The Boys are alone and Eddie breaks the silence with:

"Hey, I love you man but your girlfriend is kind of a freak."

Very tactful but not tactful enough so Joe displaying a very Rare W is like "Hey man that's totally not cool what you said about someone I really care about please take that back and apologise to Angie or we won't be friends anymore." (HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY SAY THIS IT INVOLVES A LOT LESS CRITICAL THINKING) so they have a big fight Joe probably calls Eddie faggot (did I mention that Eddie's gay and has internalised homophobia running through his veins and Joe knows this and also uses this against him. Wow [I PROMISE IT GETS BETTER]) so Eddie leaves and Angie comes back.

Angie can see that he's upset so she Invites Joe to go out into the woods with her to take a breather and he Accepts.

So they go out into the woods together and they talk about anything that they can think of until Angie stops Joe. They're deep into the woods now and the only thing allowing them to see is the moonlight. It's a quiet night sans the music but even then it's been drowned out from the distance. Even the quiet chittering of wildlife is gone.

A twig snapping is what breaks Joe out of his trance.

It all happens so quickly. There's a bat cracking his skull open and white hot pain is eating him alive.

Okay, I'm gonna stop here or I'm gonna spill the entire story LOL. Sorry abt how messy and jumbled this is I'm sillay. but I gotta explain their character archetypes bc it's very important!!!

Joe's character is a spin-off of the pretty boy character he's that but awful. He's built off of being pretty, rich, privileged and WHITE (sounds silly but it fr adds to his character + I get to laugh at him)

He stops being an asshole i prommy <3333

EDDIE, my sweet boy, is the #gaybestfriend (+poc) trope

eddie loves and supports joe but also has a hard time standing up for himself and articulating how he feels to ppl and kinda just goes along with what joe does. the only reason he allows this is bc they're childhood friends (and he has a big phat crush on joe) he would not take shit from anyone else but keeping up with it is definitely wearing him down :(

things get better for all o them tho I love them too much to hurt them permanently

if you read all of this holy fuck u have my heart

[ilici]

kitty, kitty, kitty.

Gogywasfound's 1K event here: click here !

Summary: You and Karl rarely argue, and the one time you do, he is streaming. So he punishes you, after he finishes his stream.

GN reader !

NSFW MINORS DNI !!

Warnings: Degrading, cat maid outfit, biting, gagging, choking.

Word Count: 2138

Karl was already in a bad mood from Quackity and Sapnap teasing him about his relationship with Y/N. They kept repeating, "Karl is a simp", "Karl's the bottom in the relationship for sure.", "I bet Karl literally whines when he doesn't have Y/N's attention." Finally after a while, he snapped at them telling them to quit. They did, noticing he wasn't joking, although twitch chat thought it would be funny to come up with the nickname, 'Whiney boy Karl'. Y/N on the other hand was watching his stream from their shared bedroom, and they found it hilarious as it was all true. Karl was the bottom in the relationship, he would always beg for attention and would turn bratty if Y/N ignored him, and Karl was indeed a simp.

Taking it upon themself to go and bother Karl personally, Y/N got up out of bed and made their way to Karl's streaming room. Karl's fans have seen Y/N on multiple occasions, whether it was them giving food to Karl, keeping Karl company while he streamed, or even joining him on the stream, it wasn't abnormal for Y/N to just randomly pop up. When Karl's door open, he cautiously looked over as Y/N entered the room with a mischievous glint in their eyes. When the two would argue, it would be once in a blue moon, as they knew each others limits and boundaries. But it was never a pretty sight when they argued, as Karl is one to never truly show his feelings, he would finally let them all out when he was arguing.

He would scream, cry, and even go as far as to ignoring them for days on end. Y/N was a different story, they never really showed much emotion when arguing, nor did they show it when they were not arguing. Y/N was not the best at showing emotions due to childhood trauma, which Karl soon helped on, to the point where Y/N would only show genuine happiness around Karl. Now was one of those moments, where Y/N showed their emotions, which was mischievous. Karl already didn't want to deal with their antics as he was still a bit upset from Quackity and Sapnap's bit. "Hi bubba." Y/N greeted, walking over to Karl, and sitting down on the floor. Karl nodded his head in acknowledgment, as he pretended to focus on Minecraft.

Not liking his reaction, Y/N rolled their eyes and spoke up, "What's this 'Whiney boy Karl' ordeal about?" They asked, already knowing the answer. They just wanted to get a reaction from him, and Karl shifted trying to contain his emotions. "I don't know, something chat made up." He said dryly, hoping Y/N would drop the subject. "Obviously, but how do they know you're whiney?" Y/N asked once more, and Karl closed his eyes inhaling sharply. "Shut up." He muttered under his breath, Y/N hearing, but the mic didn't pick it up. Taking this as an invitation, Y/N shrugged and looked around aimlessly, "But it's true, why are you getting so worked up?" They said, which caused Karl to slam his hand down on his desk.

"You really don't know when to shut up, do you?" He said, deathly calm, which shocked Y/N as he was always one to yell during their arguments. "What's wrong with telling the truth? You shouldn't lie to your fans." Y/N argued back, and Karl threw his headset off, which startled the two people that were in a call with him. "What the hell is going on over there?" Sapnap asked, as the two clicked on his stream to see what was happening. Karl had muted on discord, but forgot to mute his actual mic, so the stream could hear and see everything. "Oh? Tell the truth? Okay, sure." He scoffed, moving his gaming chair away from him roughly.

Y/N rolled their eyes, and flipped him off, "You are an asshole, I was joking around and you snapped on me. What the fuck is your problem?" They said, now angry, and Karl laughed shaking his head. "You know what you were doing. You came in here to purposely anger me." Karl said, stepping dangerously close to Y/N, "Holy shit, this is getting good." Quackity said, and Sapnap laughed a bit as he has witnessed a fight between the two before. "So what if I did?" Y/N said, grabbing Karl's shirt collar pulling him closer with a harsh glare. "I bet you did it because you're wanting me to fuck the absolute shit out of you." He whispered, so that his mic wouldn't pick it up, and Y/N visibly gulped.

"What the fuck did he say to them?" Quackity asked, and Sapnap hummed, "You may be short, but that isn't the only thing short on you. So is your temper." Sapnap said, making up random sentences as the two whispered between each other. "What if I want you to?" Y/N asked, looking at Karl's lips as he licked them hungrily. "Go get fucking dressed you attention whore." He whispered in their ear, and Y/N walked out of the room red faced. Everyone assumed it was from anger, but Karl knew what it was from. "Sorry guys, I gotta go. Y/N is having a tantrum because I've been streaming for 3 hours now." He said, before smirking, "Whose the whiney one now chat?" He asked, before he abruptly ended the stream leaving the call without a word.

Quickly making his way to the bedroom, Karl swung the door open to see Y/N in the maid outfit, adjusting the cat ears on their head. He smirked, and bit his bottom lip scanning their body. "What an adorable kitty you are." He said, and Y/N scoffed flipping him off, "Bite me, bitch." Y/N muttered under their breath, and Karl raised an eyebrow walking to them. Grabbing Y/N by their throat, he glared at them, as he reached behind pulling on their hair to make them look up at him as their height difference was by a whole foot. "Speak up kitty." He said, and Y/N winced looking Karl in the eyes, "I said, bite me, bitch." They said, daringly and Karl just chuckled.

"As you wish." He said, removing his hand from their neck, keeping the other tangled in their hair so their head was angled. Leaning down, he harshly bit their neck as Y/N let out a strangled mewl. "Fuck, that hurt." They said, trying to get out of his death grip. Karl being a lot stronger, they were stuck in his grip, as he kept biting around on their neck leaving prominent hickeys. "So pretty." He said, looking at his work on their neck. "On the bed, now." He demanded, and Y/N quickly listened not wanting to be punished more than they already were. Smirking at this Karl, slowly walked over as he adjusted them so they were on their hands and knees. "Ass up higher." He said, and Y/N arched their back.

Karl, was indeed the bottom in the relationship, but that doesn't mean he doesn't know how to be dominant. "Good kitty." He whispered, pulling down their underwear, and walked to the front of the bed, and forced their mouth open shoving their underwear inside their mouth gagging them. "Not a sound kitty." He said darkly, and Y/N nodded in understanding. Moving back, he moved the skirt up, showing their bare ass. He rubbed it lovingly, and slammed his hand down on it harshly to make sure, the underwear muffled the sounds. Smiling as he heard a muffled yelp, he slowly pulled his shirt off, and unzipped and unbuttoned his pants. Pulling them off, along with his boxers, he stepped out of them watching as Y/N squirmed around impatiently.

Getting on top of the bed, he gripped their hips roughly, knowing he'd leave bruises on them. Making sure they were prepared, he slowly entered in them, and he let out a satisfied moan when he bottomed out. Not moving, he waited for a signal, and once Y/N moved back against him for friction, he took that as the signal. Pulling out completely then slamming back in, he heard Y/N let out a surprised muffled moan. Repeating this action, he made sure to keep his pace even until he himself grew tired of it. Picking up his pace, he watched as Y/N was slowly reaching their high. Reaching forward he helped them reach it, "Cum for me, be the little whore you are and cum for me." He growled out, now ramming into them.

Letting out loud muffled moans, Y/N felt themself cum at his words, and they would've fell onto the bed if it wasn't for Karl's death grip on their hips keeping them up. Keeping his fast pace, he finally came inside of them, and pulled out watching as Y/N helplessly fell onto the bed tiredly. Smirking as he saw the white liquid slowly fall out, he smacked their ass again, this time softer. "You think we are done? Fuck no, get your ass up." He said, and grabbed their hips again, making sure to dig his nails into their skin. "Cat's have 9 lives, so you have 8 more rounds to go." He told them, and Y/N whined out, digging their face into the bed as he slammed back into them without a warning.

By the time it reached 4 A.M. Y/N was worn out, and sore, while Karl was just tired. Falling down beside Y/N he was breathing heavily, "What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?" He said, looking over at Y/N who was just staring at him in a haze. Chuckling he reached over, taking the cat ears off, "Now you know that I will bite back if it comes to it, literally." He said, and Y/N just let out a tired laugh, as they took off the maid outfit, limping to the bathroom to cleanse themself. Karl watched amused at their limping, "Seems like the cat couldn't land on all fours." He joked, and Y/N flipped him off from the bathroom.

"Will you shut up?" Y/N whined, and Karl got up walking into the bathroom, "Seems like someone didn't learn their lesson." He said, picking Y/N up, and walking into the bedroom throwing them down onto the bed harshly. "No- wait- I'm sorry." Y/N said quickly, and Karl looked at them, before he nodded. "Just rest up." He said, handing Y/N his shirt to put on. Putting it on happily, they laid down, Karl wrapping his arm around their waist. "Do you think they heard our argument?" Y/N asked, mainly thinking about if they heard the sexual parts or not. Karl chuckled, "I made sure they didn't hear those parts, don't worry. They probably heard everything else." He admitted, and Y/N nodded their head.

Y/N yawned tiredly, and soon fell asleep. Karl shortly fell asleep after, the two were soon awoken by a loud bang from their living room. Groaning, Y/N rubbed their eyes as they looked around confused, "Karl, someones in the house." They said, and Karl quickly got up walking out of their room to go into the living room. "Holy shit!" Karl yelled, and Y/N bolted out of the room, and found Karl on the floor, and a relieved Chris standing above him. "Oh my god Y/N I thought Karl murdered you!" He said, running over to you, and hugged you. Looking down at Karl confused, Karl shrugged in an answer, "I saw your guys argument, and when Karl or you didn't answer your phones for 12 hours straight, I thought one of you died." He said, and Karl laughed a bit.

Y/N scoffed and mumbled, "One of us did." Which Karl heard, and Chris looked at Y/N confused, "What?" He said, and Karl got up, "They probably got scared from you." He said, and Y/N nodded, "I thought me and Karl were going to be murdered, as it is 6 in the fucking morning Chris!" They yelled the last part, and Chris laughed sheepishly, "I was just worried about my baby cousin, alright?" He said, now embarrassed. "How the hell did you even get in?" Karl asked, and Chris pointed to the now shattered window, "Sorry about that.. I'll ask Jimmy to buy you a new one." He said, and Karl slapped Chris upside the head. "God you're so dumb, and you have a fucking son." Y/N said, rolling their eyes pinching the bridge of their nose.

[doyouknowbtsswag]

Discs|Tommyinnit|

(Takes place as actual Minecraft)

Tommy adored listening to Music since he was younger because of his older brother, Wilbur. Tommy's childhood was something special to him. He had a loving family which consisted of a father and two older twins. His father better known as Philza Minecraft was the perfect father, he was protective of his children and made sure they weren't hurt. His older twins were almost like different people. Technoblade always had his guard up and never really shown his emotional side except when he needed to, which never really happened. Techno also loved Greek Mythology and could quote almost every story by heart. Wilbur was more into making songs and singing he never really enjoyed violence, so he would play on his guitar while Techno trained.

Aside from his family life he had two best friends which were just as important. Tubbo was his right-hand man and was the first person to talk to him. His other best friend, Y/n was the person who he could always lean on and wasn't afraid to show his raw emotions. Sure he wanted to show his tuff side but the day you saw him cry was the time Tommy realized he could rely on you the most. Don't get me wrong he could rely on Tubbo as well but he made sure to put on a tough act for the boy because of his family life.

Tubbo's family was not the best, his father would always yell and neglect him, let's not leave out the fact that he's a drunk. His father always likes that but after his mom died his dad was heartbroken and it affected him he didn't pay attention to how his son felt. Being 6 years old and his mother passing away Tubbo didn't have the best childhood. So Tommy made sure Tubbo could lean on him.

Tommy was certainly the ring leader of the gang. He always suggested pranks and decided on games to play. Tommy wasn't happy he was younger than Tubbo but was happy he was older than Y/n. He always felt the need to protect you with every strength he could muster. His favorite game showed that. They played a game many kids played, the Knight, Princess, and the villain. Of course, Tommy was the knight and you were the princess tubbo would be the villain but sometimes Wilbur would play with them. Wilbur being 11 towered over them and was much stronger than the little kids which would make it 10 times more fun.

On his 7th birthday, he had a small party nothing too big, just his family, you and Tubbo. Tubbo couldn't get him much so he made Tommy a bandana. Even though Tubbo felt bad he couldn't give Tommy anything grand Tommy appreciated the bandana and put it around his neck showing Tubbo he liked it. Wilbur, Techno, and Phil gave him a copy of the family photo. It was rare to be able to take a photo so getting a copy of one made it just as great of a gift. Then the final gift was from you. You knew he loved music so you tried to get at least one rare Disc, but you managed to get two.

He stared at the Discs in amazement quickly running to the old jukebox his father owned. He put in the disc Cat. He smiled at the sound of the music, let's just say it was his favorite birthday gift he ever got. He hugged you which made you blush but you hugged back smiling. The others were awed at the sight. Wilbur managed to take a quick picture and made a mental note to get it printed out. It cost a lot but the now 12-year-old would do anything for his little brother.

A few months later Tommy woke up to arguing between his brothers and father. He silently stepped down the stairs making sure to go as slow as possible.

"What is up with you lately dad! All you do is stay in your room! You left us to take care of Tommy ever since you got that stupid letter a few months ago! Tommy hasn't noticed because of us!" Techno whisper yelled trying not to wake up Tommy which was a little too late.

"Not only that but you try to redeem yourself by giving us small gifts! Sure I appreciate it but I know why you're doing it! You don't want anyone noticing you've been acting suspicious lately" Wilbur crossed his arms.

"Keep it down you're gonna wake your brother" Phil whispered trying to stall the sudden outburst by the twins.

Tommy ran upstairs quietly putting clothes on to run to your house. He climbed out his window carefully. He would occasionally climb out his window if he was grounded to walk to Tubbo's house or your house. Right now he was on the way to yours.

It took him 10 minutes to get to your house. He grabbed a small pebble and threw it at your window. He threw 2 more before you opened the window looking down at the boy.

"Tommy what are doing here," I said watching the boy climb up to my window. He looked upset. Sitting in my bed.

"They're fighting again..."

"Whos fighting?" I asked sitting next to him.

Tommy was looking down tears streaming his face.

"My brothers and dad" He whispered. "It happened last week too but it wasn't that bad but they've been fighting more recently and I don't like it" The 7-year-old sniffled.

"Do you know what they were arguing about?" I asked placing my hands gently on his.

"My dad has been acting differently apparently" He sighed wiping his tears " I didn't notice but apparently it's so obvious to Techno and Wilbur"

"Maybe your dad is working on something really important," I said not knowing how to fully answer.

"Probably" He muttered

"Hey, I know how to cheer you up!" I said running over to one of my chests.

I looked through a few chests trying to find a music disc to play for Tommy. When I finally found it I ran to the Jukebox and put it in the slot. The disc played Chirp throughout the room. I look over and saw Tommy smiling just a bit.

"How do you have so many Discs," Tommy asked standing up walking to the Jukebox.

"My grandpa had a bunch before he died, he gave them all to me because when I was younger all we did was listen to the discs" I smiled at the memory.

"So why did you give Cat and Mellohi to me?" He asked

"Because your my favorite person in the world" I looked at him smiling I could see his face turn red which made me giggle.

"You're my favorite person in the world too," Tommy said pulling me into a hug to which I hugged him back.

"Thank you..."

"Your welcome Toms"

He pulled away from the hug and looked out the window seeing the sun slowly rise.

"Oh crap, I have to go before I get caught" He panicked running to the window.

"wait!" I ran and grabbed Chirp from the Jukebox running to the window hanging me the disc. "Take it"

"But I thought-"

"Let that disc remind you of me if you ever need to let out your feelings"

"Thank you" He smiled kissing my cheek then climbing down the house.

"Thomas!" I shouted but still smiling.

"Bye" He grinned waving

"Be safe" I whispered watching him run off to his house.

Tommy ran as fast as he could to his house before the sun could rise any longer. He climbed up to his window jumping into his room. He was holding the disc carefully when he was climbing so he didn't scratch it. He laid in bed out of breath from running but thank god he made it back before anyone noticed.

A few weeks later you suddenly stopped coming over to play with him and Tubbo. Tommy just thought you had something to do with your family as you did every so often. Days turned into weeks. He sat every night looking at the picture Wilbur took on his birthday of you guys hugging. It didn't sit right that you hadn't shown up or even sent a message that you were away. It confused him.

The next day he begged his family to take him to your house. Yes, he knew how to get to your house but he still wanted one of his brothers to go with I'm knowing his father was still busy. Tommy asked Wilbur in the morning but Wilbur said he was busy today and maybe tomorrow. Tommy had to go today no matter what so he ran to Technoblade's room knocking on the door. Only for Techno to say he was busy and not to bother him.

He sighed knowing he would have to go himself. He put his jacket on and shoes. He walked out of the house and made his way over to your house. Tommy ran to your house concerned, he had a bad feeling and wanted to make sure you were okay.

He saw your house and sprinted faster when he arrived he walked to the door seeing it partially opened. He opened the door all the way seeing the inside of the house destroyed. He walked inside looking around.

"Y/n?" He said seeing shattered glasses on the ground.

"Y/n?!" He saw blood on the ground which made his breath hitch.

"Y/N!" He ran up to your room panicked only to be faced with a pool of blood on the floor.

"No no no no no no," He said his body giving out on him making him fall to the ground blood getting on his clothes and shoes.

He didn't bother to get up and leave. He physically couldn't get up his body was in a paralyzed state so he was forced to lay where you possibly died. his breath was heavy and it was like he had no oxygen in his lungs. he wanted to cry for help but the way he was breathing, it was useless to try. He eventually passed out due to a lack of oxygen.

When he woke up it was night. He still laid in your bedroom but this time he could actually breathe. He then realized he had been gone all day and didn't know what time of night it was. Tommy slowly got up looking at his bloodied clothes. His tears silently fell as he made himself walk back to his house. He wasn't bothered by the noises of the creatures around the area. He couldn't care less if he got hurt because he had a bigger wound that no one would ever be able to fix.

The house lights were on and he saw people sitting outside. He walked closer and saw his family with worried looks on their faces. When they heard footsteps they looked to see Tommy slowly making his way to the door. Wilbur immediately ran up to the little boy pulling him into a hug.

"You had us all fucking worried!" He pulled away from the hug only then noticing the blood. "Holy shit your hurt"

Tommy just stood there no words came out of his mouth as his brother brought him inside to check his "wounds". He was sat on the kitchen counter as Phil raced to grab the first aid kit. when Wilbur went to take Tommy's shirt off to clean the "wound" He says nothing but dried blood.

"Tommy?..."

"She's gone....."

"What?"

"Y/N IS GONE!" His sudden outburst made the 14-year-old jump.

"She's dead Wilby" He sobbed Wilbur pulled the boy into a hug and tried calming down the younger boy. Tommy eventually fell asleep and Wilbur changed him into his pajamas taking the bloody clothes to the washer.

10 years later he sat in exile he lost his precious Discs and was now sent out of the land that he built with Wilbur and Tubbo when Phil went missing and Technoblade left. Wil eventually died by his own father. It was the first time he had seen Phil in 10 years only to see him kill one of the only people who stuck by him.

He then lost Tubbo who exiled him for a stupid prank he did on George's house with Ranboo. Tommy wasn't the type to snitch on someone so he took the blow for Ranboo. He had officially lost everything he ever cared about, the only thing he had left was a picture of you and him hugging when he was 7 years old.

"Tommy?...."

"Y/n?!"

------------------------------------------------------- Just thought of this randomly. ✨YOU ARE AMAZING AND PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE! YOU ARE WORTH IT ON SO MANY LEVELS✨

[hermannsthumb]

Please write 20 (just dumped by partner before the holidays, please be fake partner I'm desperate)

20. i’ve spent the last nine months telling my family about my amazing partner and they just dumped me before the winter break; please be my fake partner

from winter writing prompts here

----------------------------

It’s a rare occasion upon which Hermann admits to himself that he could use a shoulder to cry on. It’s an even rarer occasion when that shoulder happens to belong to Newton. Though, strictly speaking, he’s not actually crying. Just…feeling exceedingly miserable. For a very good reason. He’s not actually on Newton’s shoulder, either, though he is sitting on the edge of Newton’s bed in Newton’s Shatterdome quarters, with Newton’s spare blanket wrapped around him.

“So he dumped you?” Newton says.

“No,” Hermann says. “Don’t be so…prosaic. He, er, simply expressed to me that our relationship was not working out, and that we should consider ending it to pursue better alternatives, and I agreed. It was wholly mutual. It was mature.”

“He dumped you, dude,” Newton says.

Hermann sighs, and hides his face in Newton’s blanket.. “He did.”

The worst of it is that Hermann isn’t even upset about Oliver breaking up with him for the reasons he should be upset. He’s not here in Newton’s bunk wailing about not knowing where it all went wrong (he does know), or wishing he’d asked for a second chance (he doesn’t), or simply mourning the loss of a healthy, long-term relationship (well, it wasn’t unhealthy). He’s in Newton’s bunk because he knows his family is going to be horrendously disappointed in him. “You don’t understand,” Hermann moans. “He’s the son of my father’s colleague—my family were all so very pleased when we began seeing each other. He was meant to meet my grandmother, Newton.”

“Ouch,” Newton says. He pats Hermann’s shoulder. His touch is warm, and strong. Newton’s hands are always so warm and strong. “That’s rough. But, hey, other fish in the sea?”

(“I’m sorry, Hermann,” Oliver had finally said, after a spectacular failure of a date, in which Hermann confused Oliver’s favorite dish with Newton’s at the restaurant, and, er, perhaps called out the wrong name during their more intimate coupling in Hermann’s bunk later. “It’s blatantly obvious you have some weird, unresolved feelings for your lab partner, and I’m not going to stick around for you to figure them out. Maybe you can take him home to meet your parents instead.”

“Blatantly?” Hermann had squeaked.)

“Yes,” Hermann says. “Er. I suppose.”

Hermann (having no one else to turn to) showed up at Newton’s door immediately after Oliver packed up his simple overnight bag and stormed out of the Shatterdome, promptly ending what was meant to be their weekend together and their relationship. Newton (in pajamas, clearly just woken up from sleep) had been so kind, showing him to the unmade bed, plying him with a lukewarm cup of fruity tea, spouting all the sorts of things that a friend was meant to spout (he’s not worth it, you’re better than him, want me to key his car for you?). Hermann had never seen him exhibit that sort of kindness before. It made his heart flutter, and his chest tight, and—oh, bugger. “No, it’s not that,” Hermann says. “It’s that they think I’m bringing him home in a week. They’ve got the guest room made up for us and everything. I’m fairly certain Mother has already made a place card for him at the dinner table.”

“So?” Newton says. “Just break the news tomorrow that you’ll be solo. Better sooner than later, man.” He frowns. “Your mom makes place cards?”

“The only reason I’m going home is for them to meet him!” Hermann half-shouts. Months upon months of feeding them stories about Oliver, lies about Oliver—about how charming and intelligent he was, and what a marvelous match they were, and how pleased Hermann was that father suggested he engage Oliver’s company in the first place—all so they’d stop prying into his bloody personal life—of course it was bound to backfire. 

“Then don’t go home,” Newton says. “Holy shit, dude, you’re making this a way bigger deal than it needs to be. Either tell them you guys split and it’s just you this year, or don’t go at all.” He yawns, and does a poor job of pretending he’s not sneaking a glance at his Godzilla alarm clock. Two in the morning; Newton makes a habit of getting to the lab at six. Hermann is being rather discourteous keeping up so late, isn’t he? Though it really was kind of Newton to comfort him the way he did. Newton can really be considerate, when he tries—considerate, and caring, and such a good friend to Hermann. Hermann’s only friend, who none of his family have ever met, or would recognize, just as they wouldn’t recognize Oliver…Newton, who’s American like Oliver…who’s brunette like Oliver...who wears glasses like Oliver...

“Er, Newton,” Hermann says. He touches Newton’s hand. “What are your holiday plans?”

Newton is a bundle of erratic motion during the taxi ride from the airport to the Gottlieb family farmhouse: his leg bouncing up and down, his fingers tapping on it, his eyes darting constantly between Hermann, the driver, and the German countryside. Even his voice trembles when he speaks. “This isn’t going to work,” he mutters to Hermann. He shakes his head. “It’s not, it’s not.”

(“They’ve never met him,” Hermann had said, “and they’ve certainly never met you! You could easily pass yourself off as him!”

“There is no fucking way your dad hasn’t Googled me by now,” Newton had said. “Or do you not remember when that reporter asked me about the wall last spring?”)

Really, there’s no need for Newton to be this nervous. At the very worst, they’re found out, and Hermann is utterly humiliated, but Newton will be walking away all but unscathed. He’s not the one trying to pass off his lab partner as his partner partner to his family, after all. “It will,” Hermann tells him calmly. He reaches over and smooths out the lapels of Newton’s good suit. It’s stiff, and smells faintly of dust; Hermann wonders how long it’s been hanging in the back of his closet. He cuts a nice figure in it. “Right,” Hermann adds, before his mind can wander too far. “Now, remind me again who you are?”

Newton looks vaguely green in the face, and he swallows twice. “I’m…Oliver,” he says. “I’m the son of your dad’s old friend. I recently relocated to Hong Kong for work. I’m an engineer. I like yoga, and...baseball?”

“More or less,” Hermann says. The baseball part may be an embellishment, but he knows Oliver played some sort of sport.

He reaches out and smooths down Newton’s hair this time. His glasses are crooked, but there’s not much to do for that; besides, it makes him look oddly charming, like Oliver is supposed to be. Newton, to his surprise, goes pink in the face. “Uh. Can you give me anything else to go on?” he says. “I feel like I’m not getting enough into character. Like, what’s Oliver’s favorite color? Is he a cat person? Coffee or tea? Boxers or briefs?”

“Well,” Hermann says. “I. Er.” He shifts in his seat. Embarrassingly enough, he doesn’t know. “Just because Oliver and I dated for...half a year, or so,” he continues, “doesn’t mean we knew everything about each other. I think you’d be hard-pressed to get him to answer those questions about me, too. It’s nothing—”

“Do I wear boxers or briefs, Hermann?” Newton says.

“Boxers,” Hermann says automatically.

Newton stares at him. Hermann flushes.

“Oh, that’s not fair,” Hermann says. “You have to use the bloody decontamination shower every other—”

“Kinda feeling like maybe he wasn’t the neglectful one in the relationship, dude,” Newton interrupts. “Alright, God, let’s get this over with. You owe me big time.’

[witchygalaxys]

So I played Nightmare harem.....

I played Nightmare Harem (now I'm broke in more ways than one)

Nightmare harem is an otome game. I have been playing so many different ones but I hadn't found one I loved nearly as much as the arcana but nightmare harem..... really stuck with me. Not in the best way. So let me tell you about the guy I chose.... AND HOW HE UTTERLY DESTROYED ME!!!!! MEET THIS FUCKER RICARDO!!!

First off dont get attached to this face.... the game and story are eh. If you want a lot of romance then this is it. But when I said I'm broke in more ways than one.... I meant one of them being I spent all my money on it.... and it has this weird system where you pay for 15 parts per chapter. But it would probably take a long time to finish the story. Like..... a long time. I think I ended up paying (not proud of this.....) 170.... So I kinda recomend against it.... but it does make you feel and get you attached to the characters. You get to know them pretty well which I feel like a lot of the other otome games dont do. It's one of the reasons I love the arcana because you get to really know the characters and who they are. You get attached and the Nightmare Harem did that pretty well. But here is the thing..... it went into really dark places.

By the end of it I was crying and shaking like a leaf. It actually scared me. I actually felt sick afterwards. I dont know how or why but it showed me all 3 endings. But it showed me the bad ending first and MAN! I COULD GIVE A CRAP ABOUT THE GOOD ENDING AND THE SECRET ENDING! CUZ HOLY FUCK! THAT BAD ENDING HAD ME FREAKED OUT! You may not get this but.... I'd rather he had killed me instead of what happened in the bad ending....

It started off like any normal story. You some how end up in another world. You are found on the demon side of the world. The demons are actually very nice. They treat you well and you like them. But you still want to go home and you are told there is a way to go home but it will only open 3 months from now. So you have to wait. In the mean time the angel side have found out about your existance because humans are rare. (Apparently) so the general of the Angel's meet with the demon prince at his estate (where you are staying) this demon general is none other than RICARDO!

This is where it gets spoilers so stop reading if you plan on playing yourself. SO!

SPOILER WARNING

Well Ricardo takes an interest in you and tells you there is a way to get you home sooner. But it can only be done in the angel side. So he tells you to lie to the demons and leave with him to the angel side. So you do but.....

Very quickly you find out he lied. He just wanted you to entertain him.

Later on you and him become closer. You learned he originally wanted you because you kind of reminded him of his sister who was killed. Later on he confesses his feelings to you by having sex with you. And all that stuff. You guys become very close...... but this is where it takes a dark turn......

Let me break Ricardo down for you. He is a killer. He is known every where for being a heartless killer. But he loves to tease you. He actually made me mad. I actually got pissed. So! When he tries to make you mad and you get a choice to react or not. Dont react. It actually kinda upsets him and it makes it kinda fun.

Hes confident and smart. He loves to tease you but you can also tell he cares (obviously) the more you get to know him the more you see he isnt that much of an awful guy as you thought. He wants to protect you so much. But..... he.... in his want to protect you and be with you.... he goes really dark. It starts out subtle.

He goes to work one day and asks you not to cheat on him or talk to strange men. I automadicly thought he was teasing. After he left the, demons came to the angel side to take you back. They found out you were tricked into coming to the angel side so they came to bring you home. As happy as you were, you told them you would be staying with the Angel's because of Ricardo. Ricardo came in and just started shooting them with no provocation. He said "they came to take you away. So they must die." That's the first time you realize something is off. You eventually calm him down and he stops attacking. And you tell the demons its okay and they leave. After this he gets very attached to you. He doesnt want you to talk with other men.

He begins to skip work to be with you. You know it isnt good so you keep trying to convince him to go so, he wont get in trouble. He spends 2 days with you but if I remember right on the 2nd day you go to help collect some herbs. He tries to stop you but you shake it off and go help. You kind of notice him in the window watching you. It seems like he spent the entire time watching you very carefully. When you go to your own room he is there waiting for you and starts questioning what you were talking about with the guy you were helping. At the end he tells you he must stay by your side.

The next day he decides to take you with him while he does some work because he was ordered to go back to work. He tells you it's fine but you keep questioning it. He says you need to stay by his side. Saying what if something happened to you at the estate while he is away. He said he is worried about the demons coming back to take you away so he wants you with him. He even threatens to take you with him tied up. Sounds like a joke but I dont think he was joking so you go with him willingly.

You end up waiting outside some place for him after he told you to stay and not talk to any one. A man approaches you because he saw you with Ricardo. You both talk about how amazing Ricardo is. The man is part of the army the works under Ricardo.

Ricardo comes out very angry and shouting. You get to choose what to say and after you say it he goes to hit the man. You stop him. Then he kisses you very deeply to show that you belong to him and he teases the man.

He brings you back home and tells you he cant leave you alone because other men will look at you. And if you stay at the estate you will get closer to the other people who live there.

Now pay in mind you arnt just doing nothing. You try to talk to him about it but he keeps stopping you or ignoring you. You notice what is happening and something is wrong. The worry grows more and more with each incident.

The next day Ricardo gets up for work and tells you to rest because.... he exhausted you yesterday. You tell him you cant do that and you have to help a boy named noel with the garden. He tells you to stay in his room for the day. He says he has to do something and he cant take you with him so that you need to stay in his room. He says he will be back as soon as he can and tells you not to leave the room. If you do he will punish you. I was actually terrified when he said that because he hasn't joked about anything seance you two have been together. You know its wrong and you try to run after him. But he closes the door and locks you in there. You pound on the door crying out for him to let you out. You can feel Ricardos need to control you. His confidence with out you is gone. Eventually Noel the boy you help in the garden let's you out. Noel brings you to Mikel. The leader of the Angel's to tell him what happened. Mikel asked if you had given consent to letting Ricardo do that. You tell him no. And Mikel explains how unhealthy yours and Ricardos relationship is getting. You know it is true.

Ricardo enters and calmly but very angrily asks why you left his room. He asks noel if it was him. Noel says yes. And then Ricardo tries to shoot Noel. Mikel is able to stop him before he can hurt Noel. You end up running away not wanting to see Ricardo fall apart anymore. That's when you make the choice that when the 3 months are over.... you will go back home to earth. Not just for you but for Ricardo as well. In the mean time you still spend time with Ricardo not telling him you are leaving.

You spend your last week with him and on the night you are leaving Ricardo learns about what you are doing and goes after you.

He asks you if you are leaving. You tell him yes. He pulls out his gun and says if you leave he will kill you. He asks you if you really loved him and you tell him you do but you cant be with him. And then the dark end showed up... and it made me wish he would have just shot me instead. Although most of that story seemed like a pretty dark ending.

DARK ENDING!

He says he will kill you and that way you will never leave him. But he cant stop shaking. So you walk up to him and hold his gun for him and tell him to shoot so you wont leave. That you wouldn't mind being killed by him. You close your eyes preparing to feel the bullet. He ends up dropping the gun and embraces you. You hold him and tell him you arnt going any where that you wont die and then fades to a few days later.

You look towards the window guessing what time it is because you cant see. You even question how long you have been waiting. Eventually you hear foot steps and Ricardo says he is home. He ends up locking the door and pulls the blind fold off your eyes. Asking you if you missed him. You look at him with so much love and say yes. He undoes your leg shackles but leaving your arms bounded and takes you to the bath. You bathe together and he comments how you have lost weight. You say "really?" And tells you that you can not eat while he is away. It is an order. He asks if you are hungry and you say no. "Seance I dont move much I dont need to eat much." He says he is glad. You think back to when you decided to to stay and how you want to do what ever Ricardo wants. So you let him leave you tied up blind folded in his room while he leaves. You dont think or feel anything other than Ricardo. Thinking you dont mind if you both crumble together.

He holds you telling you not to look at any one else and dont go near any one else. Telling you to only think about him and no one else all the time. Saying he wants you to be unable to live with out him. He asks you if you love him. You reply like a robot saying yes. And he wants you to smile. You try to smile but you cant do it properly because your face is very stiff. A single tear rolls down your face. He asks you why you are crying and all you can say is you are sorry. And then it ends......

SO AFTER ALL THAT IT NOW DECIDES! "Oh hey look at the happy ending!" NO! YOU CANT JUST SHOW ME THAT AND EXPECT ME TO BE LIKE "OH IM ALL BETTER NOW!!!!!!!" NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! WTF!? NO! LIKE OH MY GOD!

THIS IS STOCKHOLM SYNDROME!!!!! LIKE MY GOD! You want a Yandere he is your guy!!!!!!!! And I am ashamed to say! I still really like him!

It reminded me greatly of this comic about a guy who gets kidnapped by his crush and gets very abused by him. If you know what I'm talking about.....I'm sorry....

I WAS SHAKING AFTER THAT! I CRIED! I WAS LEGITIMATELY SCARED! FROM AN OTOME GAME! A DATING SIM! HOLY FUCK! I KNOW IM INTO THE ENTIRE BAD BOY TEASING THING BUT MY GOD! THIS SCARES ME! I know things like that have happened to some people. I think that's one of things that's freaks me out so much to it. Plus dating sims are very personal. You get pretty into them yourselves. The games are meant to make it feel like you are the one being loved.

So that's my thoughts and story. If you want to check it out go do so! I wouldn't recomend against it. Like I said it makes you feel. But I was not ready for that whirlwind. It has good character interactions. I'm kind of..... neutral about it. I found it fun! But all the money it forces you to pay to play is kinda ridiculous. Especially its charm system thing. I find that just kinda lame. But it was fun.

[kinkyquirk]

Dumb it down? Heck no! This is my first request and I'm doing this shit RIGHT. Hope you like it. 😁

------------------------------------------------------------------

Aizawa was late. As per usual.

Class was supposed to start 5 minutes ago and Iida had been dutifully instructing students to get to their desks, encouraging them to remain seated when they became fidgety in the continued absence of their teacher.

You eyes darted between the door and the boy sitting in front of you, trying to decide if you could spend a little time with your freckled boyfriend before class started. Just as you had made up your mind - the class slowly begining to murmur amongst themselves - he turned in his seat, smiling back at you with that innocent grin you adored, "Well, looks like we'll be waiting a while."

Ugh, he was just so cute. When he had accepted your feelings a few weeks ago, you had been over the moon. You had fully expected him to turn you down because he was so busy training hard to become the number one hero. And sure, you and him didn't spend as much time together as the average couple, but you were okay with that. Studying together and the very occasional date was all you needed as long as he was with you.

You were smiling back instantly, leaning you head on your hand, "Looks like it."

A rosy hue dusted his cheeks suddenly, his fingers fiddling together on top of the back of his chair, "You, uh...you look especially beautiful today..," he mumbled softly.

OH GOSH, YOUR HEART.

You couldn't help the blush that sprung up on your cheeks at the unexpected compliment, smile brightening, "Why thank you my especially handsome boyfriend," you fired back, relishing in the way the entirety of his face and neck became as red as Kirishima's hair. He was just so easy to fluster!

He tried his best to compose himself, clearing his throat and ruffling his already unruly hair, "I-handsome is a-," but he stopped, remembering your talk with him about accepting your compliments and to have more confidence in himself, "uhm, th-thank you."

His smile began to fade then, and, in turn, yours dropped off your face in worry. Izuku was known to over think things and cause himself grief over problems that weren't as big as he thought they were, but this expression was different. Something was really eating at him this time.

"Izuku?" You questioned, leaning forward to get a better look at him.

He met your eyes and gave a small, forced smile, "It's just...," he began, sighing and slumping slightly in defeat. Panic spiked through you for a moment, afraid you had done something to upset him. He reached forward, gently taking your hand in his own scarred one and rubbed your knuckles with his thumb, effectively ending your worries and sending a completely different spike through you, "You're such a wonderful girlfriend and I...I don't treat you the way you deserve to be treated."

It was very possible that this boy would give you a heart attack sometime during this relationship.

You sighed in relief, "That's what's bothering you? Izuku, I don't need anything special-" you began, but he cut you off with a shake of his head.

"But you deserve it!" He stressed, squeezing your hand softly, "You deserve to be taken on nice dates and to have so much more of my attention. I should be showing you how much I cherish you and instead I'm just...treating you like an afterthought..."

Well, you hadn't seen this coming. You supposed if the roles were reversed, that would feel like a lot of weight on your shoulders. It upset you that something like this had been burdening him and for a moment wondered...if you should have kept your feelings to yourself. You had just complicated things for him.

"Do you think of me as an afterthought?" you asked, prepared to prove to him that he was anything but neglectful.

He jumped at the question, eyes wide, "No! Of course not!" he assured, "I can't get you out of my mind!"

The classroom went silent.

You were sure the both of you were the same, glowing red color.

"Lady troubles, Deku?" Denki chortled, followed closely by the familiar sound of Jiro smacking him with her ear jacks. Uraraka suddenly and conveiniently remembered a funny story and began ethusiastically regaling the classroom of her scuffle with a pizza box and squid mascot. Bless her.

You fanned your cheeks, attempting to cool the flames beneath them while Izuku took his own time calm himself.

"Sorry, I-" he began, but you cut him off this time, shaking your head with a sympathetic smile, "No, I'm sorry. I should know by now how you'd react to a question like that."

"I meant it, though."

You looked up, surprised to see him watching you with a determined intensity that you're a bit embarrassed to say nearly had you fainting in your chair. He pressed onward, "You're always on my mind. From the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep. And sometimes when I dream."

Okay, now that was bordering on cheesy, but it sent your heart fluttering uncontrollably in your chest.

He grabbed his backpack, rummaging through it for a moment and hesitating a moment before pulling out what he was looking for, "I was going to wait until lunch to give this to you, but...now seems better," He smiled, "I know it doesn't make up for all the time we should be spending together, but-"

You almost screamed at the box in his hand, hardly believing what you were looking at, "IS THAT THE ULTRA RARE SUPER LIMITED EDITION AMERICAN SOLDIER ALL MIGHT ACTION FIGURE? MINT IN THE BOX?"

At this point, you didn't care if you had once again drawn the attention of the entire class. This was a unicorn in the wild. A collectable that you were certain you would never see anywhere other than on your computer screen.

If there was one thing you and Izuku had in common, it was your love for the number one hero, All Might.

Izuku was quick to join in your excitement, "EXACTLY! I KNEW YOU'D RECOGNIZE IT! ONLY FIFTY OF THESE WERE EVER MADE!"

"I THOUGHT THESE HAD ONLY BEEN GIFTED TO AMERICAN POLITICIANS DURING THE INTERNATIONAL HERO TREATY OF 2002?"

"THEY WERE! 12 POLITICIANS WHO VOTED AGAINST THE TREATY SOLD OR TOSSED THEM AND MY MOM'S FRIEND FROM WORK KNEW A GUY THAT-"

Your smile fell as you listened to the story of how he had ended up with such a priceless item and realized...you couldn't accept this. No matter how much you loved All Might, you couldn't take this from Izuku.

"-what's wrong?" he looked crestfallen at your sudden loss of enthusiasm.

"Izuku, I couldn't possibly accept something like this," you shook your head sadly, "It's worth way too much."

"But, I want you to have it!" He insisted, holding it out to you earnestly, "It's okay, I have lots of rare All Might merch!"

You gently pushed it back towards him, shaking your head once again, "I know, but this is just-"

"Then keep it safe for me," he compromised, taking your hands and holding them to the box. God, his hands. You loved how they felt on yours. So strong and warm.

He leaned forward, and - to your shock - placed a soft kiss to your fingers. Your heart did maybe 15 flips. His smile had the smallest hint of mischief in it when he pulled back, "I'm counting on you."

The very next instant, you had your arms around him. The noise you made was, in retrospect, pretty embarrassing as you crushed him to you, bouncing happily. Now that was a compromise you could deal with. And that sneaky little smile peppered with those adorable freckles? GOD HE WAS JUST TOO MUCH!

"MIDORIYA!"

The scandalized voices of Denki and Mineta reverberated around the room, bringing you to a startled halt. There was a dark aura radiating off the two of them as they glared at the boy in your arms.

That was when you noticed the reddened faces of your classmates...and the...warmth between your...

Izuku's face was consumed. Disappeared to the ears -which were positively cherry - between your breasts. You had never pulled away from an embrace so quickly.

"YOU ALREADY GET TO DATE THE GIRL WITH ONE OF THE BEST RACKS IN CLASS! YOU GOT SOME NERVE RUBBING OUR NOSES IN IT LIKE THAT!" Mineta screeched, eyes completely white as blood spewed from his nostrils.

And then they were face down on the classroom floor, Tsuyu and Jiro standing over their battered forms. You hardly noticed their beatings, wide eyes gauging your boyfriend's own shocked expression.

The corner of his lip twitched.

Was he-

Aizawa chose then to enter the room, nonchalant as he made his way to the front of the class, scratching his cheek, "Sorry. I overslept."

You quickly - though carefully - placed the action figure in your bag while the class settled down, taking seats and facing forward. Your face was still burning to ashes, eyes unable to stray more than a minute from Izuku's trembling shoulders when he sent small wad of paper over his shoulder and onto your desk.

Sure that Aizawa wasn't looking, you opened it.

Steam hissed from the collar of your shirt.

Don't be too embarrassed. I liked it. A lot.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Class 1-A's thoughts:

Aoyama: Such an intimate display in such a public place! How very avant-garde. *twinkles*

Bakugo: What the hell? What is this, some kind of porno? Get a fucking room! *blushing slightly, but mostly pissed off*

Hagakure: What is Y/N doing?! We're in class! * *

Iida: THAT IS HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE! SCHOOL RULES SPECIFICALLY STATE THAT PDA IS PROHIBITED ON SCHOOL GROUNDS! NO MATTER HOW SOFT AND FRAGRANT HER BREASTS MUST BE, THIS IS- WAIT NO I-! *red and denying his last thought even happened*

Jiro: Holy shit. Get it, Y/N. *unimpressed, but supportive*

Kaminari: No way! She's-! SHE'S-!

Kirishima: Whoa, are they for real?! Do they even know everyone is looking at them? Man, Midoriya, you're full of surprises. *is shocked and blushes*

Koda: Oh, gosh! That's so naughty! *hides his face in his hands*

Mina: Whoa-ho! He's been devoured! *wide eyed and covers her mouth*

Mineta: TH-THE LEGENDARY MOTORBOAT! AND BY THE GIRL WITH THE SECOND BIGGEST RACK IN CLASS? MIDORIYA!!!

Momo: Oh, wow! I've heard about this courting ritual! But it seems a bit inappropriate to be carried out in class... *blushes and looks away*

Ojiro: What the-! Geez...my heart can't take much more of this... *blushes, looks away and sighs*

Sato: *sato.exe has stopped working*

Sero: IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING? HE'S NOT EVEN TRYING TO STOP HER! LUCKY!

Shoji: *shocked; his mind genuinely goes blank*

Todoroki: What is...she doing? *is genuinely confused*

Tokoyami: Er...hm. Those two are always so loud. *a little flustered, but mostly unimpressed*

Tsuyu: Y/N is a lot more bold than I thought. *blushes a little, but expression stays the same*

Uraraka: B-BOOBS! *red and shellshocked*

[fierceawakening]

1/? erinc1978/assholeanon again -- will try to respond to your questions as best I can. As a general point, I think I understand better now where you were coming from in terms of how you approached writing various parts of Steel and Promise, and I'm sorry for having been such a douche about it.

It’s Book Anon again. Cut for length, discussions of consent, some nonexplicit sexual content, and spoilers.

Re: 6/ – I think there were a few things that had me thinking Teran was saying that everything kind she’d done was purposeful manipulation. Some of this may well be incorrectly remembered through anxiety haze, but IIRC part of it was her general attitude during the conversation, that struck me as generally sort of triumphant and preening – along the lines of “ha, I got you to fall for me, aren’t I clever.” (cont’d)

Re:6/ contd - I think another was Cailyn saying something to the effect of “so what about the ‘you’re a jewel among stones’ business”, and Teran IIRC didn’t deny that was part of the manipulation. So I took it as being broader than the s/m. As we learn that Teran was trading torture to own Cailyn, that confirmed it for me emotionally – that she couldn’t have been sincere in her regret over upsetting Cailyn by merely wrecking her clothes if she had no qualms about buying her outright.

As a general note, I’m really sorry that my deactivating killed your archives of my asks. It didn’t occur to me that would happen. Should’ve sent everything as a message in the first place and then I wouldn’t have spammed your ask box. I didn’t remember there was another option until Tumblr cut me off and said, “Whoa, you need to wait an hour until you send any more asks.”

On the personal note - “safe” was a terrible choice of words for a complicated internal state that I was wrong to externalize, and I feel really bad for causing you more pain over this. I absolutely do NOT mean to suggest you are an Unsafe Person in any kind of general sense, and I give you my word that I will not say or imply to anyone, online or off, that you are not a safe person to be around.

As one last note - I understand why you feel jerked around, and I wish I could take back my actions and that I’d just discussed the book like a normal person in the first place instead of jumping to conclusions, but I can’t do anything more at this point than apologize. Just let me know when you want to be done with this interaction so that I don’t overstep your boundary (i.e. I give you a last response and then block). I found code to block websites via my OS, and when you’re done, I’m done.

Okay, so I don’t know if this helps at all, but I’ve been avoiding mentioning personal stuff because of the whole “safe/unsafe” deal which I didn’t want to feed into, but I feel a bit like I have to wade into it to make some of this make sense.

It’s true that some things about Teran are things I’ve experienced or are based on me. One of those things is that… when I joined the BDSM community around me at the tender young age of 21, I didn’t know too much about myself or where I fit in that bunch of overlapping letters. But I knew I was interested, specifically, in SM–I’d spent most of my young life fantasizing about people who liked pain, but I didn’t think they really existed, or thought they had some kind of Freudian complex that meant even if I knew what I was doing I’d harm them emotionally by enticing them into indulging in something that was bad for them. When I was a youngin you really couldn’t find much that positively portrayed people with pain fetishes.

But the thing was, when I got into the community? Intense masochists aren’t crazy or unhealthy and dating them doesn’t make you evil. BUT they’re rare. Most people are interested in sensation play but not really in intense SM stuff–and even more common than that is an interest in (usually mild/bedroom-only) D/s.

So finding partners, or at least finding partners that are actually complementary to me on that score? Is hard! They’re out there–there’s at least one in every community I’ve been in–but they’re relatively rare. 

In part because they’re rare, in my experience a lot of them were older, and actually a lot of them were in relationships. Of the “masochism was completely unacceptable when I married my wife, but I couldn’t stand it any more so I asked her to beat me, she said YIKES NOOOOO but eventually agreed I could go to play parties if I don’t actually side date anyone and hide the marks” sort.  (This is one reason I disagree with antis about age gaps. One of the first people I ever beat? Three times my age. Did he harm me? Well, I did end up hurting my shoulder by not realizing I was new to this and should have slowed down… SHIT SHIT SHIT THE ANTIS WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG!)

It’s kinda lonely, and is part of the reason I haven’t dated anyone since my last partner. They’re hard to find! At least if you actually want, you know, a relationship.

So that was the thing. Teran found one, he was actually single and interested, but he got sick and died. And she went back to the dark channels to look for another one, and couldn’t really find one, because as assholey as the nobles are, the dark channels are much more like… what most people were and what I wasn’t really looking for.

So Teran knows that almost anyone is gonna disappoint her, and either she can 1) keep having random dates with people hoping she chances on someone who is orientationally masochistic and be vaguely frustrated until she does or 2) try to see if she can train someone to become what she wants. (Especially someone who IS inherently submissive and wants to serve, which Cailyn is.)

So she does 2). Without making it clear what she’s doing, because she’s kind of a jerk. And because “oh, I’d like to alter your sexuality, you good with that?” is a big ask.

Doesn’t make it okay that she did that and wasn’t honest about it, and I’m not saying it is. Pushing someone’s soft limits can be okay–that’s why they’re soft limits–but not realizing someone might be just a little upset upon finding out that’s pretty much why they picked you? UH. TERAN NO.

From Teran’s perspective (which, again, TERAN NO) she expected Cailyn to figure it out. She never came out and said “this is an experiment,” but she talked often about how Cailyn’s experiences of pain and desires were shifting. So she thought Cailyn would figure it out, and assumed (again, TERAN NO) that Cailyn coming back over and over meant Cailyn was fundamentally okay with it. She knew she was being manipulative, but she didn’t realize how awful she was being. Which is why she was surprised when Cailyn was like “HOLY SHIT AM I AN EXPERIMENT?” as if this was 1) news and 2) bad news.

The other thing Teran does that is unquestionably horrible is the bargaining to own Cailyn. Whether it’s clear from the text or not (and I can’t really go back and reread in depth now to find out if I was too ambiguous about this), what I meant to say was that Teran wants Cailyn to freely consent to stay with her, and asks for it. When Cailyn says no, she initially respects it, but then the Councils (at the behest, of course, of Ben, who is the actual skin-crawlingly terrible person who gives no fucks whatever about consent so of course he would dream this crap up) basically say “you know if you do this for us you won’t have to worry about that cute girl running away from you *wink*” and… Teran goes for it, even though part of her knows she shouldn’t.

So again… I’m not trying to say I meant for what Teran did to be Okay Because She’s Lonely. It’s not okay. But I didn’t mean that she was a completely uncaring person. I meant that she was a very damaged person who gets what she wants through manipulation because why not when almost everyone despises you anyway, someone “liking” you means they want to rape you and force you to carry their kid, and the one guy who actually loved you was perfectly fine with heavy D/s… and died horribly anyway?

I appreciate you saying that you didn’t mean “safe” the way I took it. I just… if you actually think I am okay with real world dubious consent and was saying it’s fine, then… I actually deserve to have people warned about me. And the thing about it is… if you actually are a person who is abusive, or manipulative, or real-world wobbly on consent, you’re the last person to know it. Abusive and manipulative people make excuses for themselves to themselves, which is why it’s so hard for them to change.

So while my gut reaction to your comments is “I didn’t say that! I don’t endorse that! The thing I wrote isn’t that!” there’s part of me that feels that I can’t argue… because I’d always say/think that I’m safe even if I’m not. Which puts me in the awkward position of “That sounds wrong, and also insulting and hurtful! But that’s exactly what I would think if it was 100% correct!”

Which is where the scrupulosity spirals come from.

So the only thing I can really say and do is… again, give you as much of a platform as I can given the energy I have at any given time, and make sure people who aren’t me see it, and have the opportunity to decide for themselves whether I am accurately assessing myself as “someone who attempts to be positive and safe for friends and lovers” or not.

[uta-no-knb]

OH!! open ask box? Yay! I'm excited! So I was thinking.. Wanna write a scenario with Kasamatsu (you should've known ;D) where he's feeling down because his family went on a trip without him (since he was busy with studies/basketball) and his s/o doesn't know and tries to figure out why he's being distant? (please include fluffy hugs and kisses ! :D )

YESSSSSS!! BAE FOR THE WIN!

*Note: I will be fixing any typos and grammar when I get on my laptop (I’m on my iPad ATM)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Good morning, Yukio!” you said, as you skipped towards his locker with a smile on your face. The moment you reached him and gave him a hug, he just pushed you away, and mumbled a good morning before walking off to his class.

You stared dumbfounded as you watched him walk away. With a sigh, you walked towards your own class, contemplating the different scenarios that could have caused him to act this way. ‘

Maybe his grades are slipping? Or maybe stress from the finals coming up. You paused as one more possible scenario cross your mind. Does he…is he…breaking up with me? Your heart sank at that thought.

You two have known each other for years - since you two are neighbors-and have only been together for a few months, but the thought of him leaving you-your best friend-hurt; your heart sank.

With a sigh, you resumed walking to your class, putting on a fake smile

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“(F/N)-chi!!” A loud voice exclaimed, as you felt an arm wrap around your shoulder.

Looking up, your (h/c) eyes met with a pair of gold ones. “Hey Kise,” you smiled, trying your best to act like yourself. “Don’t you have practice?”

“Yea, but I saw you walking and wanted to say hi.” He paused as he looked at where you two were. “The gym isn’t this way you know.”

“I know. I’m just going to head home.”

“But you always come to practice to see Senpai.”

“Yea, but I’m not feeling so great. I’ll call him later.” You walked away, waving at the blond. “I’ll see you tomorrow!”

~~~~~~~~~~~You let out a sigh as you walked home alone; and it felt weird. Usually you had Kasamatsu by your side, yelling at an annoying Kise. You smiled as you recalled some of the memories, only for the smile to fade.

Guess it won’t happen again, you thought, trying your best to hold back your tears.

As you got to your street, you looked up and saw Kasamatsu’s house. The tears you were trying to hold back rolled down your face as you approached the door to your own house.

Walking up the stairs to your room, scenarios of why he would want to break up with you swam through your head.

His birthday isn’t for another month so that can’t be it. It’s not our anniversary…I guess the only reason is that he does want to break up.

The moment you closed the door to your room, you leaned against it and slid down the door, burying your head into your arms.

You were so heartbroken that you didn’t even hear your phone ringing.

After crying for a while-just to make sure that you cried it all out, you decided to go out for a walk. Once again you walked past Kasamatsu’s house, only to pause. You noticed that his parents car was not in the driveway.

You took out your cellphone and checked the time; they should’ve been home by now. Worried, you ran into his backyard, remembering that his family rarely locked their back door (the exception is at night time). YOu twisted the handle only for it to be locked.

Turning, you bent down and picked up a rock, which held a spare key. You chuckled as you remember the reason why Kasamatsu had moved the original location of his key (“Kise managed to find the key. I’m not taking any chances”)

You put the key in the lock and entered the house when you heard the lock unlock. Walking in the kitchen, you notice that the lights were off and that none of the dishes were cleaned; you found this odd since his mom was obsessed with having a clean kitchen.

Walking into the living room, your eyes landed on a piece of paper on the coffee table. Curiously, you approached it and read the letter.

Yuki,

As you know, we went to visit your grandparents. We honestly wish you were able to join us, but we know that you take your studies very seriously; your father and I are so proud of you. Your grandparents understand that in addition to your studies, you have the WINter cup coming up and much like your school work, you value your teammates. We were honestly considering having you missed school, but we know that you wouldn’t like that.

Enjoy the quiet in the house. If you need any help, don’t be afraid to go to (L/N)’s house.

We will miss you,

~Mom

P.S. Your grandparents are excited to watch you play in the winter cup-yes, we’ll be watching it. You got this!

Staying quiet, you sat down on the couch,, eyeing the letter that’s in your hand.

So that’s why he’s upset, you thought, the feeling of relief flooding your system. here has to be something that I could do.

Perking your head up, an idea entered your head.

YOu were going to cheer him up.

~~~~~~~~(Time Skip)

Letting out a sigh, Kasamatsu walked through the door of his house. “I’m home,” he said, knowing that he wouldn’t get a response.

He perked his head up as he heard the sound of something crashing, followed by a simple “shit”.

Panicked that someone broke in, he grabbed the closest item, which happened to be a vacuum extender, and walked in the kitchen.

Peering around the corner cautiously, he inwardly let out a sigh of relief as he saw you at the sink, running your finger under what he assumed was cold water.

“Where does she keep the damn oven mitts,” you growled.

“The drawer next to the oven,” he chuckled, startling you.

“Holy shit!” You exclaimed, jumping. “When did you get home?”

“Just a few seconds ago,” he said, placing the vacuum attachment down on the kitchen table. “I wasn’t expecting you here; I thought someone broke in.”

You smiled and were about to say something only to pause and look at him. “Yukio…if you thought someone broke in, you would use a vacuum attachment? What for? To get that extra dirt that the vacuum alone can’t get?” You cracked a smile.

“Oi. It was the first thing that I was able to get ahold of,” he started, walking towards you, “It was on the table by the door and I was more concerned about someone breaking in.” He paused. “How did you even get in?”

“The back door,” you said, jabbing your thumb over your shoulder, pointing to the back door. “I honestly thought something had happened since I didn’t see your moms car in the driveway like usual, so I used the spare key that was in the rock with the secret compartment.”

“You mean the Kise Repellent Rock?” He chuckled, as you nodded in response. “I’m happy you’re concerned, but what are you doing in the kitchen?”

With a sigh, you took out the note that his mom wrote and put it on the counter. “I was worried about you,” you started. “I was worried about how you’re acting towards me today-actually this whole week, and I feared the worst; that you were going to break up with me.” Your eyes started to water a bit as you wiped a tear that was about to form. “So after I came into the house, I saw the note and realized I was being stupid and I wanted to make you something to hopefully cheer you up…so I thought cookies; cookies make everyone happy.” You glared at the cookies that we’re currently on the tray on top of the stove.

He was silent as you continued.

“I know how much you value family, and it makes sense that you would be upset about not being able to join them, but they’re kinda right; school is important. Plus, I wouldn’t be able to control Kise as well as you can; and we have the Winter Cup coming up. .” You looked at him and noticed that his eyes were watering. “Yukio, why are you-”

He reached out and grabbed your arm, quickly bringing you into a hug; his arms wrapped tightly around you. “Thank you,” he said, trying hard to make sure his voice doesn’t crack.

You smiled into his chest and hugged him back. “Anything for my best friend.” You nuzzled your face into his chest and let out a sigh of content; however shortly after you let out a hiss of pain.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, separating you from him. He noticed that your eyes were starting to water once again. “Why are you the one who’s crying? It should be me, no?”

“Yea but,” you started as you held up your finger, which was currently red. “I burned myself on the cookie tray and it hurts.” You pouted as he just chuckled.

He took your hand in his and lifted up your pointer finger gently and kissed it quickly. “Did that help?”

With a red face you nodded. “Yea it surprisingly did,” you chuckled. You noticed him smiling and looking at you, his eyes gentle. “Do I have something on my face?” You asked.

Letting out a brief chuckle, he ducked his head in and kissed you.

Unlike most girls who have their first kiss, you didn’t open your eyes in shock. Instead you kissed him back almost immediately, wrapping your arms around his neck. You broke the kiss and looked at him; your eyes connecting with his, as he rested his forehead against your own. Your heart was beating fast; butterflies in your stomach.

“You do know what a kiss on the lips stands for right?” You asked softly.

He nodded and response and whispered, “it means ‘I love you’”.

With a goofy grin on your face, he quickly pecked your lips and pulled away. He raised an eyebrow and sniffed the air. “Is something burning?”

“Fuck! The cookies!” You exclaimed running towards the oven, grabbing the oven mitts this time.

Kasamatsu couldn’t help but laugh.

He was dating his best friend-and she’s in his kitchen, trying to cheer him up. Falling in love with you was the best thing he could’ve ever done. He walked over to you to help.

…Maybe having his family leave was actually a good thing.~~~~~~~Bonus

Once the cookies were finished (luckily, the ones that were left in the oven weren’t burned too bad), you and Kasamatsu went into the living room and put on a movie; a pitcher of milk and a huge plate of cookies were on the coffee table. You were nestled into Kasamatsu’s side under a blanket as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and held you close, placing quick kisses on the top of your head every now and then; you retaliated by always pecking his cheek.

“Do I smell cookies!” A voice exclaimed, startling the two of you; you accidentally elbowing him in the ribs.

“I’m so sorry!” You exclaimed, jumping away from him. “Are you okay?”

He grunted in response and looked at you. “At least it wasn’t below the belt.” His focus suddenly changed as a figured walked into the room. “What are you doing here and how the hell did you get in?!”

“I found a rock by the back door that had a spare key in it-Oooh! You’re watching (favorite tv show)!” He exclaimed about to jump over the couch. Instantly, and in a blink of an eye, your boyfriend kicked him in the stomach, causing his stomach to hit the back of the couch.

“Idiot! You don’t just enter someone’s house with a spare key that you find! I’ll hit you!”

“You already did, senpai,” he whined.

You chuckled and shook your head as the two males playfully bickered with each other.

Yup. Dating my best friend was the best decision I ever made.’

Don’t you dare touch my cookies!&l

***************

You can tell I had a lot of fun with this one…it’s Kasa I mean how can you nothave fun writing him. I hope you enjoyed the fluid, Tia!

Until Next time!

~Jupie

[hersmilingeyes]

I'm upset but

When I recap my day, there’s nothing to be upset about bc it was a fucking nice day

Except here I am

I woke up at my friend’s house at like 7am and drove my other friend home

We both left w our La Croixs, which doesn’t look right plural but there was more than one La Croix and they were peach pear

Ok, I gotta say it, peach pear is fucking 2/3 of a Joanna Newsom song so just add plum already bc that’s obvi what’s missing and then you can play the song fer that really specific commercial fer the really specific drink yer marketing and maybe that will satisfy me

But there’s more

I go home and sleep some more

Bc I can

Even better

Then I make myself a fabulous breakfast and COFFEE IN A FRENCH PRESS.

I sweeten it w HONEY

I take a quick shower and have just enough time to throw on a tee shirt and underpants

Then, my lover comes over fer coffee in bed and she looks so good since she was at the farm

She’s brighter and bronzer and just determined as ever

She’s wearing a muscle shirt and a tiny vest and I’m like melting bc she’s such a Fucking babe

She tells me about her world, she shares it w me, and I’m just in awe about all the things she can do // is doing

After about an hr of talking, she asks me if we are gonna cuddle or what and I fucking stumble w my words bc yes and of course and holy shit

I learn she is no longer stripping rn and I honestly wrote about it later on bc I had to process my happiness w her

I needed to write about how she listens to ramps and finds comfort in moss under her feet,

how she belongs no where to no one but she is connected to everything

She’s rooted and reaching

She is the water she seeks to grow

And we kiss and we make a date to go to Planned Parenthood together bc we’re responsible and I massage weird parts of her body that might be sore from being on the farm

But she says she’s still sore from stripping actually and the farm was real chill this time around

I try to keep up with her worlds but I decide to focus on the moment, on her teres muscles which I’ve been finding are really tight on most folx which is why I decided to work on hers

I really want to totally touch her boobs but decide now is not the time bc I have to work soon and that’s not cool fer either of us

I just lay on her chest and listen to her

It’s not that I didn’t have anything to say, I just wanted to listen

I missed her, she was sad when I last saw her, and so I was sad, too, in that way that one cannot help but feel the sadness of someone dear to them.

I carried it, too.

I feel hopeful fer what’s to come, fer her and me, and I drop her off before I go to work

I write about her at work, then i write an outline fer the blog I’m working on fer work

The New Moon just happened, so I frame it from that.

I also draw inspiration from how i left work at a toxic job, and now my lover has, too.

We’ve reclaimed ourself in our own ways.

I almost finish the Time magazine from the future (now a few days old)

I learn about Margaret Atwood and A Handmaids Tale, and I decide I need to read it before I see the show.

I do half a cross word; I’ve been mighty productive this shift but I’m eager to get off.

I have a vm from a work manager, so I call back bc I love my job and I feel v protective over it

I can’t help but get paranoid whenever work people call, I always think I’m in trouble

There are rarely bad things and mainly good things, and t'day was no different

My manager thinks I’m a strong worker and she’s taken to me

I call her my Morpheus bc she kinda is.

We get all of our biz outta the way in the first 10min but I’ve managed to meet somebody who talks as much as I do, if not more.

I try not to get annoyed w myself

But I can’t help but get annoyed just bc it’s my wind down time and I wanna wind down w my friends

Except she’s praising me really highly and telling me stories and I know that this isn’t all fer me, it’s fer her, too.

So I listen on.

And I’m sitting outside of my friend’s house and then I’m walking and I’m trying to politely wrap up but I don’t know how bc she’s clearly trying to convey something to me and I’m like that child that’s too antsy to sit and listen

She’s telling me real shit about myself and I’m in it, you know?

She tells me all this shit I need to hear bc I certainly don’t tell myself often enough

Like how I minimize the work I do and the impact it has on people

Or how I tend to downplay my talents

Or even just rule myself out of nice things

And I can’t tell if I’m doing it that very moment by staying on the phone or not so I’m annoyed by the juxtaposition of it all bc yes, I do these things but it’s not like I mean to or I’m not trying to quit

All the sudden, I’m feeling all the efforts I put in as far as building myself and someone I look up to is telling me I’m shining, I’m Fucking shining

And it’s too much, it’s overwhelming

My eyes start welling up on my friend’s porch after sitting outside fer an hr bc my manager is randomly telling me I’m doing a good job yet all i wanna do is be w my friend’s and not think about any work

I just came out of work where I did two jobs worth and processed my life on top of it plus half a crossword

All I wanted to do was wind down w my friends

That’s all I wanted

But I always get so much more and sometimes I don’t even know what to do w it all bc I don’t always know how to contain them, let alone coexist w them

And I missed everything

I missed everything bc a voice on a phone was telling me what I needed to hear to feel like all the work I’m doing is worth it

But it is, bc I know

I don’t always know why my clients come back but they do and I honor them each time I see them

I don’t always know what I do good but it works out

And Morpheus was trying to tell me what it is that makes me special and I just wanted wine and to kiss my lover and to hug my friends

And I was frustrated bc I know I’m special but I don’t always know why or how, I didn’t know why we were talking about me so much

She was trying to convey something and I am v clearly struggling w it or not ready

I’m not meaning to sell myself short or anything I just can’t wrap my head around why I wasn’t able to do the thing I planned on doing tonight

Why tnight, yknow, to tell me all this about me?

Why was it so important to tell me all this?

I’m upset bc there is no reason to be upset besides being derailed and sitting outside fer an hour.

I’m upset bc my success is like a fucking secret life I don’t know how to share v well.

My family doesn’t hear this, and they're the ones who need to; it’s just not the same from me

I don’t get a lot of grown ups praising me like Morpheus was and it’s no wonder I both want to listen and to shake them off

It’s not v often I get a grownup who understands the work I do, we do, and praises me fer it

I am so used to working anonymously and letting my work speak of my earnest efforts

I’m upset bc I work so hard and barely know how to feel proud of myself fer it without first taking myself down a notch about the things I could do // could do better.

Which is everything, but that’s everybody and that’s also v subjective

I am upset bc I wanted to New Moon w my friends but I was on a work related phone call fer an hr instead and I already work a lot

My time is precious and my friends are precious and whether or not it mattered to them, it mattered to me.

And I was upset bc no amount of working proves anything but yer too Fucking busy to spend time doing other things that matter to you

Like spending time w yer loved ones

I’m upset bc my dad worked all the time and I told myself I’d be more present bc that’s just as important if not more

I’m upset bc I don’t feel like I’m fulfilling that promise even though I had a great day overall but it didn’t end like I planned and I was just tired of waiting

Bc sometimes I feel like I’m always waiting fer my turn to do what I want and then my turn never comes

And it doesn’t feel fair bc what I want feels so simple

But it never really is

I just wanted to share time w my friends bc it was wind down time and I was done working.

And I’m really upset about it bc it’s like I’m never done working sometimes

Then I get so crabby I need to be alone bc that’s not how I want to spend time w folx I love

Even when they are sweet n call me to check in n shit like

I need to take a fucking trip