hersmilingeyes

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Suwannee Blackwater River Meets the Sea : The Suwannee is known as a “blackwater river” because of its dark-brown waters laden with organic material. (via NASA)

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I guess now is when I apply my growth, reassess my progress and hope to see change.

I calmly but sternly respond to my insecurities,

Lull them w what is known to be true and sincere

The honest truth is truly beautiful, I’m realizing, bc I feel like I could accept whatever outcome and have gratefully grown from it.

I have enough peace in my present that I feel low-grade stress but it’s manageable.

I can be honest w myself and her about my fears, and it’s simply that I’ll fuck up and like not be able to cope. Or like, THAT will fuck me up. I’m not trying to appease anyone, but I’m hella conscious of experiencing something new that I don’t know much more I can prepare fer without giving it a shot and seeing how it goes.

We traded shirts and I have the one she was wearing.

Weird shit happens when you have feelings; you start huffin’ yer lovers shirts and breathing in their pillow smells, their hair, their neck, just...

I feel a lil wild tbh

Patient and trusting, but wild out

Fuuuuck

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Are these feelings? A real life meme

Sex

Erotica read outloud

Sex toy exploration

Heart to heart pillow talks

Vulnerability vids

Sharing poetry

Sharing dreams (specifically sleepy recorded ones)

Investment in one another’s pleasure

Multiple n mutual orgasms (and real-talk about occasional overwhelm here w challenged integration of mind/body)

Snugs n silliness

Singing n laughing

Sentimental gazes

Shared enthusiasm

Candid explorations of thoughts and feelings.

Are you real or a dream?

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Wow

I am smitten.

I am smote.

Words are certainly futile devices,

yet here I am.

Attempting to document.

Searching my mouth, my throat, my chest, my body

Combing thru the pages of my prior knowledge

Reconfirming what I know to be true

I have found something new,

something that has yet to be named

What is yer name?

/////

I’m putting in the work, and it’s blooming.

Things are beginning to connect and take form.

I can begin to actualize my process,

my progress

I can grow forward, grow beyond my last spot

Healing the path along the way

And it feels good

Like an antidote, I am becoming more and more myself

I love who I am growing into

I didn’t always know this,

I didn’t always feel this way

I didn’t always give myself the credit

I still looked fer love

Now I am becoming it

A concept and an experience

Tangible all the same

I have learned to speak to myself sweetly,

to catch my negative thoughts in order to speak more compassionately to myself.

I am learning how to be patient w myself and my process

I am being a friend to myself

And it feels really, really good

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Feelings zone

I dunno, man

She just makes me feel so...at peace

Like I’m usually some kinda storm but she somehow clears the skies

I can be super weird n awkward around her and she just embraces it

We really enjoy one another’s thoughts, feelings, and time.

She teaches me so much and expands my mind about concepts I may have only thought about 1 or 2-Dimensionally or simply thought I had figured out

She reminds me how beautiful it can be so observe and take someone in

We have fun and we challenge one another in positive ways

She builds me up w like telling me things she appreciates about me

We are open and playful about our connection to each other.

She asked to take my picture on a disposable camera and it was rly sweet

I just wanted to curl on her lap

She’s just real clever and kind

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Jim Richardson

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Lunar Eclipse

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“Look for the unimaginable inside the ordinary. Go to places you would not ordinarily go alone - riverbanks. Deep woods. The part of the ocean shore where peoples’ gazes disappear. Wade in all waters. Let your imagination change what you know.”

— Lidia Yuknavitch, from her preface of “The Chronology of Water,” c. 2011

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Get there girl

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this is literally how i dance

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Tim Walker for Vogue Italia with Linsey Wixson (2011)

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“I never felt crazy, I just felt gone away.”

— Lidia Yuknavitch, from “The Chronology of Water: A Memoir,” wr. c. 2011

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Paria Coby Cobb