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darnell-la · 3 months ago

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𝗟𝗘𝗧 𝗚𝗢 𝗢𝗥 𝗬𝗢𝗨'𝗟𝗟 𝗛𝗨𝗥�� 𝗔𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥

pairing: traumatized & emotional!logan howlett x mutant close friend!reader

warnings: heavy drinking, growing close, therapist friend, emotions, nightmares, a lot of blood, panicking, near death, regeneration, confessions, kisses, realization, conclusion, etc.

summary: after an unexpected night, Logan realizes the danger he is for sticking to the past. he had to learn to let go of the evil that never was right for him.

note: this story has NO SMUT, but we got Logan who’s an emotional mess and breaks apart after injuring y/n on a mistake.

follow our Instagram @ darnell.la so we can start posting random videos, photos, edits, and memes of the people we write about!

———

When Jean died, y/n was the only one there for Logan. The x men couldn’t see the pain he was in, but she could. When she’d make her nightly routine to get water from the kitchen, he’d be down there passed out on one of the kitchen chairs, or drinking until he got to that point.

Y/n would pass by him for weeks. They soon became a couple of months, but after a while, she felt bad. He wasn’t keeping himself up and any time he spoke to the crew, he had an attitude and was drunk.

Charles had banned him on missions until he got sober, but that wasn’t happening any time soon.

It took a while for y/n to talk to Logan without him pushing her away. One night he was crying in the living, and she walked in.

The woman sat next to him and softly patted his knee, trying to do something to calm him down. Before she knew it, the man pulled her into a tight hug as he sobbed.

That night he poured his heart out to y/n. She had to tell him that what he did to Jean wasn’t his fault and it had to be done. She asked, “How do you think Scott felt when he thought she was gone?”

Logan knew Jean, but she was confused about why her death hit him so hard. He explained that everyone he cares for eventually dies. He said he was cursed.

For the past year, y/n has worked with Logan almost daily as a side therapist. Some days she’ll have to force him to talk while others, he comes to her.

They grew close, now fighting by each other’s side, rarely being seen without the other, having their drinking nights and sometimes falling asleep together on the couch.

Logan would be the first to wake up, so he’d carry the young woman to her bed. The first several times, he would leave to his own, then after, he’d stay and sleep on her sofa.

“Jean?” Logan asked as he turned around in his bed, seeing the woman he killed, lying next to him in a white nightgown. “Is that really you?” He asked as he sat up, hand instantly rubbing her cheek.

“Yes,” her voice seemed low as her eyes stared into his. “I-I’m sorry, Jean,” Logan’s eyes began to tear up. “Please stay. I promise I won’t hurt you or anyone else again,” he begged.

Jean leaned into the man’s ear with a slight smirk and blinked slowly. “Too late,” she said. Logan had felt his hand tingle. He was confused until he looked down, seeing his claws inside of the woman’s stomach.

“No, Jean!” He yelled. There was a huge poodle of blood. “Jean, please, no!” He pulled his claws away before pushing down on her stomach. “You were born to hurt people,” she spoke before her eyes darkened.

Logan hated her hateful words. After she came back the last time, she’s been hurtful.

Jean’s mouth opened, now screaming at Logan’s face, making him close his eyes. “Logan,” I voice called which seemed so far. “L-Logan,” y/n choked as her hand wrapped around his wrists tighter, trying to wake him up.

Logan’s eyes slowly opened, realizing he was in a dream. “Logan,” y/n could barely speak as the blood in her throat began to form. The man looked down seeing his class in her stomach.

“No,” he spoke low, not believing it at first until her fingers slowly slipped from his wrists. Y/n’s body leaned back, about to crash onto the floor until Logan held her up with his arms.

“No — Y/n I-“ his words got stuck in his throat. He’s never done this to anyone before, and that someone had to be y/n. “Y/n, stay up,” the man’s hands now pressed on her stomach.

“O-Okay,” she looked into the man’s eyes as she tried breathing. The blood made it hard, and he knew that. Logan looked around the room, looking at a place to place her so he could go run for help.

“C’mon,” Logan got up, carrying the girl in bridal style for only a few seconds until he laid her on her bed. He had fallen asleep on her sofa again. Now he was regretting showing this little detailed affection towards her. If he just left her downstairs and went to his own bed, this wouldn’t have happened.

“Fuck- Why did you come near me. You know how I can get,” scared tears started slipping down Logan’s cheeks. How could he do this? To her or all people. “W-Wanted to h-help,” y/n has never sounded worse in her life.

“Shit- I-I need to get help,” Logan said before yelling through the house for Storm and Hank. “Storm! Hank!” Logan ran downstairs since that’s where their rooms are at.

“God,” Hank yanked in annoyance as Storm rushed out of her room. “What’s wrong? What happened?” Storm asked, not too worried until he looked down at his fist. It was covered in blood along with a few splatters on his white tank top and thick blue jeans.

“What the hell happened!?” Hank’s body froze. “Y/n, she was- She came up to me while I was sleep a-and I had a dream. A-A very bad dream and I stuck Jean but when I woke up-“ he tried finishing.

“You stuck her,” Storm imagined. Storm remembers when he stuck Rachel on her shoulder, but it has to be worse if that much blood is on his hands and he’s shaking.

“You stuck Jean?” Hank asked as Storm and Logan began jogging back upstairs. “No! No, it was a dream. A very bad fucking dream,”

“Where is she? In your room? Why was she in your room?” Storm grabbed Logan’s door handle until he stopped her. “No, she’s in hers,” he said before taking a deep breath, admitting that he was in her room.

“What?” She asked as she sped over across the hall to hers. “A-After we pass out on the couch, I’m usually the one who wakes up first so I- I carry her to her bed and pass out on her sofa,”

Storm sped through y/n’s open room door and gasped at the sight of her. Her middle body was covered in blood and her head was tilted to the side with her eyes closed. She looked lifeless.

“N-No, no!” Logan ran over to her to put pressure on the wound. “I told you to put pressure on the wound, y/n!” He yelled as he used one hand to slap at her face, he she wouldn’t wake up.

“How bad does it look- Oh fuck,” Hank quickly ran over to y/n. The man pressed his two fingers on her neck to check for a pulse, and he got one. A very slow and weak pulse.

“She’s still alive, but she needs to go to the lab. Now!” Logan quickly picked Y/n up, now running through the mansion as kids came out of their rooms. “I’ll get the kids back to bed,” Storm stated back to do her job.

“Please, y/n, don’t do this to me, please,” Logan could feel his heart rate rise as her body felt slumped. She gave no sign of any form of life.

“Place her on here, quickly,” Hank tapped the medical bed, and Logan did as told. “I’m going to have to sedate her before I work on her — I don’t think you should be in here for this,” Hank suggested.

“Why not!? I did this to her, so f-fuck how I feel about seeing you cut her open. I’m the one that stabbed her!” Logan felt all different emotions. He couldn’t help it.

“It’s not for your sake, it’s for mine. She’s my friend too, and I want to concentrate and keep her alive,” Hank said. “No, no — I-I can’t leave her. I don’t want to leave her!”

Logan shook his head side from side, refusing to leave. He has nothing else to do. He’d only be somewhere stressed and waiting for Hank to come to him with bad news.

“Logan — I’ve got this. But I need my space,” Hank said low as he touched Logan’s shoulder to calm the man down who was looking down at y/n with tears. The white nightgown was soaked in blood. She was losing so much.

“I-I’ll be back, y/n. Please don’t do this time me,” Logan tightly gripped the unconscious girl's hand, raising it to his mouth before he gave her a peck.

“Did she make it? Is she alive!?” Logan quickly got up as the door to his lab opened. The man sat there all night. Hank slowly walked out of the lab without saying a word.

“What? What, is she- D-Did I kill her? Is she dead!?” Logan felt his heart sink as he kept walking towards the man. “No — She’s actually just fine,” Hank spoke as y/n walked through the lab doors.

She had a medical gown on and looked healthier than ever.

Logan ran over to the girl and picked her up to hug her tightly as he cried in her neck. “I’m so sorry!” He sobbed as his fingers gripped her body, not wanting to let her go.

“It’s not your fault, Logan. Things happen, and I don’t want to hear otherwise,” she said, seeing his mouth open to argue. “You saved my life. That’s all you need to think about,”

Logan was lost for words as he placed y/n down. He couldn’t argue, and she looked alive. She was alive.

The man grabbed the girl's face a bit rough as he pulled her into a long and passionate kiss that was followed with apologies. Y/n’s soft hands grabbed his cheeks as well, pulling him in closer.

“No thanks to me, I guess,” Hank said as the two laughed in between their kiss. “Thank you, Hank,” Y/n pulled away from Logan and looked at the man who barely had to do anything.

“I’m completely joking. I barely had to do anything anyways,” Hank said which confused Logan. “What are you talking about?” Logan asked as he placed his hand over y/n’s wounds that he couldn’t feel. He thought the gown was in the way until he lifted the gown up to see no marks. Just her in a pair of medical tights.

“She regenerates, Logan. Just like you! — So perfect for each other,” Hank rubbed his hands together in excitement. “It only took awhile I’m guessing because this was the first time her skin was broken that bad,”

“I’m so sorry about that, y/n,” Logan instantly felt bad again. “No apologizing. I’m here now,” y/n softly grabbed Logan’s face again. “With me,” he added before kissing her again, but this time more passionately.

After that day, Logan and y/n built their relationship. He wasn’t so sure at first, but he couldn’t ignore the feelings he had grown for her. All the times he wanted to tell her this wouldn’t work, those pretty eyes would make him forget was he was going to tell her.

Logan has only had one nightmare after the night he almost killed y/n. He was furious when he saw Jean. She killed Scott, she killed Charles and almost had y/n killed.

He soon realized that women were never for him. He just grew feelings from the competition between him and Scott, but now that he’s gone, Logan couldn’t forgive and forget what she’s done.

It took a while for Logan to let Y/n lay in the same bed as him, but after she snuck into his room one night and he woke up to her wrapped around him peacefully — he couldn’t deny it anymore.

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caitified · 15 days ago

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kate x model?

model

kate martin x reader

warnings: jealously, i used them as the pronouns if i haven’t done this for other fics and you want me to switch i can! maybe a part 2 where they go to an event or something lmk

kate never expected herself to be the jealous type. she was grounded, confident in who she was, and knew she didn’t need anyone else’s validation. but dating you – with the world’s attention on you, people leaving adoring comments and celebrities tagging you in every other post – it brought out a side of her she hadn’t seen before. she had experienced some of this herself, but this was different.

she’d scroll through your posts sometimes, reading the comments that poured in after each new campaign, each runway shot, and couldn’t help feeling a tight knot in her chest. it was a mix of pride and something deeper, something almost possessive.

“can you blame them?” she muttered to herself, eyeing a recent photo dump you posted recently. but then she’d read comments like, “god, [y/n] is unreal. if i had a shot, i’d never let them go,” and it’d make her bite her lip, trying to shake off the small pang of jealousy creeping in.

she knew it was silly – she knew you loved her, had shown her countless times, but still… seeing the world fawn over you, knowing how much attention you attracted, it made her wonder if one day you’d realize just how many options you had.

one evening, after you wrapped a big photoshoot, you came home to find kate in the kitchen, scrolling through her phone. she quickly put it down when she heard you come in, flashing you a warm smile, but you noticed the slight tension in her shoulders.

“hey, you,” you said softly, crossing the room to wrap your arms around her from behind. “missed you today.”

she leaned back into your embrace, letting out a sigh as you kissed her neck. “missed you too.” her voice was soft, but you could sense something was on her mind.

“everything okay?” you asked gently, turning her around to face you. your eyes met hers, searching.

kate hesitated, then let out a small, embarrassed laugh. “yeah, it’s just… sometimes it’s weird, you know? seeing all those comments. all these people who think they know you, who say things like they… like they could just be with you.” she looked down, almost sheepish. “i know it’s stupid. i know i’m the one who gets to be with you, but sometimes… i don’t know. i just get a little jealous.”

you reached up, cupping her face, guiding her gaze back to yours. “kate, you have nothing to worry about,” you whispered, brushing a thumb over her cheek. “those people don’t know me like you do. they don’t know how much i love the way you make me laugh when no one’s around, or how you hold me when i’m stressed, or the way you look at me like i’m the only one in the room.”

she felt her cheeks warm, but her lips curled into a shy smile, the tension in her shoulders easing.

“besides,” you continued, your voice dropping as you leaned in close, lips barely grazing hers, “you’re the only one i want looking at me like that. you’re the only one who gets all of me, every piece.”

she let out a soft breath, her hands slipping to your waist, pulling you flush against her. “you have no idea what that does to me,” she murmured, her voice a bit huskier now. “i may not love sharing you with the world, but… you make it worth it.”

the intensity in her gaze sent shivers through you, and you melted into her as she kissed you deeply, her hands gripping you with a quiet need that told you everything she couldn’t put into words.

when you finally pulled back, her eyes were warm, but that fierce spark was still there. “you’re mine,” she murmured, almost to herself, as if to reaffirm it.

“always,” you whispered back, your fingers lacing with hers. you gave her hand a squeeze, grounding her in that quiet promise that she was the only one for you.

#kate martin x reader #kate martin #wnba x reader #wnba imagine #wbb x reader #wbb imagine #iowa wbb #lv aces #las vegas aces

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badomensgoodomens · 13 days ago

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BAD DECISIONS

CHAPTER ONE.

Noah Sebastian X reader

CW: sex and a ridiculously cringy argument. (p-in-v, shower sex, rough dirty talk)

credits to @emluvsuxo who proofread this chapter and did not tell me how absolutely cringy and shitty it is (xoxo) i promise the other two chapters I've written following this one are better academically, and storyline wise.

tag list at bottom of post.

READERS POV

Noah currently had me sprawled out on his bed, his fingers pumping in and out. My head was thrown back with pleasure, but ultimately, I was in a different place. He pauses his movement, “you good?” he asks, gazing down at me. I nod, mumbling about how I had a rough day.

We hooked up often, a stress reliever for both me and him. He wasn’t like other boys i’d fucked, he was slow, meaningful and very set on both ends receiving pleasure. However, I always wake up alone. I wasn’t beginning to care about that factor until now.

When I woke up the next morning, half naked, I just laid there for a while. Why do I all of a sudden need this man for more than just sex. I mean he wasn’t ALL that.. With his uhm….. Fuck.

I crave that man from the inside out.

—-----------------------------------------------

After a couple of hours of wallowing in delusion with my hands between my legs, I dragged myself out to the studio. I needed to work on a few pieces and get them shipped out. Art was a big passion of mine, it was a great stress reliever (alongside sex with the god himself; noah.) I was successfully channelling every emotion without taking it out on someone else, and turning it into art. Soft music played in the background as I spent hours focusing on every individual brush stroke, trying to perfect this specific piece.

I ignored everything for a while, texts from my sister, from my mom, even from noah. I was antsy, and a little dizzy. I was losing daylight, this piece wasn’t even remotely done. I’d have to return to it tomorrow.

I close and lock the door to my studio, heading down the steep flight of stairs to the carpark. I knew Noah went to the gym around here, and prayed silently I wouldn't come across him. I was still incredibly contradicted. Did I really want more from him?

The sun had set and I wasn't even half way home yet, clairo played softly over the radio. I was overwhelmed, not sure how to feel about noah. Fuck. Why is bags playing?

Fuck

Maybe I am in love with him?

_________________________________________________

NOAH'S POV

I chuck my phone down onto my bed, rubbing my hands over my face. She hasn’t responded yet. Maybe she's given up on me.

Fuck. I'm painfully hard and I need her soft skin against mine. I hadn’t told the boys about her, I didn't intend to ever date her, I don’t think. We were merely friends with benefits, I'm not ready for commitment.

It isn’t like I don’t trust her or anything, I'm just scared, and hurt. Natasha fucked me up real bad, hence why we were strictly friends with benefits. No cheating, no trust issues, just meaningless sex. Even though, now when I smell her perfume, it makes me dizzy.

My head was resting on my grey pillows as my hips stuttered, my right hand jerking up and down my cock. Soft groans spilled out of my mouth as my hips snapped up. I was seconds away from cumming when my phone rang, it was her, her contact photo illuminating my entire phone screen. And holy shit it made me cum.

I had taken a photo of her, half naked, standing by the big windows in her bedroom. I’d just fucked her brains out, but she was more intrigued by the moon. I scramble to answer the phone, pulling my pants back up.

“Hi?” her voice came through my phone speaker.

“Hi, are you busy right now?” I asked, readjusting my pants.

Her soft sigh fills my ears, and I almost moan.

“I’m on my way home from the studio, shower sex sounds good enough for you?”

I climb out of bed, mumbling a soft yes.

—---------------------------------------

I pull up to her house at roughly 8pm, letting myself in. She's standing in the kitchen in a pair of paint covered track pants and a sports bra.

“You’re covered in paint” I grin, watching as she eats a microwavable meal. She looks over herself, an embarrassed smile gracing her pretty face. I swear my pants tighten.

“Right. Upstairs. Now.” I smirk, slipping off my shirt.

She turns the shower on and hurries to get her clothes off, discarding her silly little lace thong. My hand reaches the back of her neck, pulling her soft lips against mine. It's a clash of teeth, kisses and moans.

“Bend over” I growl, spitting on my fingers. She does as she's told, making a show of bending over in the spacious shower. My hand comes down harshly on her pretty ass. I gently trace my fingers over her clit, her breathing quickens.

I lean my head down near her ear, nibbling on it, taking notice of the way her thighs squeeze together at the dirty things I'm whispering in her ear.

My fingers slip inside her tight pussy, pumping in and out. Her soft moans fill the room, blessing my ears. “Gonna make you cum, huh?” I groan, watching her clench down on my fingers. “Gonna make you cum with just my fingers, you dirty girl.”

__________________________________

I walk out of the shower, stretching my back. I slip my clothes back on, gathering my stuff to leave. She walks me out, wearing just a tshirt. I clear my throat, turning to face her. She looked up at me, her face littered with a post-orgasmic glow, but her eyes said something different.

READERS POV

He pulls me in for a kiss, a magical one at that. I was enjoying it for a moment until I could taste a hint of hennessy. I pull away, feeling a mix of hurt. “So you just came here to fuck me because you were drunk?!” the words came out before i could even process them. Surprise washes over his face, “w-what?” he mutters, stepping back a little. I rub my hand over my face, why the fuck did i say that?

This was going to go south real quick.

“Am I no good?”

His face is quizzical, his eyebrows raising. “What? Baby-”

“No. don’t call me that. Tell me, am I no good?” the words fell off my lips in a hurry. I felt sick to my stomach, I was head over heels with this man and I needed to know.

“What the fuck are you talking about-”

I cut him off. “Do you actually want to fuck me? Or am I just the only one willing?” I ask, crossing my arms over. My heart hurt.

“I- we talked about this. We are strictly friends with benefits.” Noah responds, shuffling awkwardly back into the house, not wanting to give the neighbours a show. “You’re not even my fucking friend though! You won’t introduce me to your friends, you only come over for sex!" I yell, shutting the front door. Well yeah. That was the whole point of our relationship, but he could’ve at least been nice enough to.

I watch him rub his hand over my face. His leg was bouncing up and down.

“You caught feelings, didn’t you?”

My stomach dropped, I mean I hadn't exactly been secretive, but it was still terrifying.

“Why is that so wrong!!” I cried out, tugging at the roots of my hair. Was it because he was some rockstar? Was he just like… using me for my body? Ironic isn’t it?

He sighs, sitting down on my grey couch.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen-”

“Can I be yours?” the words spill out before i can stop myself, a desperate plea. The room is silent again. My hopes are not very high.

“What-?”

“Can I be yours? Just tell me I'm yours-" I fumble with my words, avoiding eye contact. It felt like I was being burned at the stake.

Panic sets over his face, I panic myself.

“We talked about this- i- i can’t do that.” he answers, standing up. Shuffling towards the door.

“You walk out those doors and you’ll never see me again-” the words were much harsher than intended, but I was at my wits end. Our relationship was boring, just sex and nothing else. That wasn’t what I wanted it to be. God, I felt like some trashy whore.

He faltered his movement slightly, but continued walking.

The last thing he said to me was, 'I’m sorry.' Those words hung in the air, heavy and final, just before I turned away and never saw him again. It wasn’t just the apology that hit me—it was the weight behind it, the finality in his voice, as if it were the last thing he could offer, and it still wasn’t enough. My chest tightened, and a cold wave of nausea rose in my throat. It was as though his words, meant to bring closure, had instead unravelled something inside me, leaving me hollow and raw. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think—just the echo of his voice and the bitter sting of what could never be fixed.

The door slammed shut, making the thin walls of the lifeless house shake. Bile rose in my throat, I ran up the creaky stairs, my voice a mixture of pained cries and gagging.

_______________________________________

For days, I couldn’t stop hearing those words—his apology. It looped in my mind like a broken record, each repetition digging deeper. But as the days wore on, I started to realise something. Maybe the hardest part wasn't that he’d hurt me. It was that I was still holding on to the hurt, still letting it have power over me. I had to choose to let go.

authors note:

yes, I know I made this story out to be so much juicier and written so much better, just have some patience. I wrote this literally like 2 months ago and have increasingly gotten better.

Taglist: @lilcrazy011 @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard

let me know if you’d like to be added

credits: whoever made that divider ily. i swear it was @silent-stories do correct me if I'm wrong.

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httpseungmxn · 2 months ago

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Big Boy

Quackity X Streamer!Female Reader

🍡 - flirty/extra flirty

Authors Note: Hello hello my Angels, I know I promised the Jin fic soon buuuuuut Q posted this photo and everyone, including myself, went wild over it! So I just had to make a fic about it! I have decided to make a new fic category just for this one, flirty/extra flirty! This fic will also play off of the other fics I made about him! I hope you guys can enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!<3

Warnings: Lanai attempts to get reader canceled:( , Reader is called “hermosa” and “amor”, wee bit of cussing fr this time

Triggers: None as far as I am aware!

You had really come to know Alex over the past few months. Him becoming one of your best friends, especially after it came out that your best friend Lenai had been spreading lies about you. She had gone to Alex first, expecting him to believe her, but that was a big mistake. As soon as he noticed the negative way she was speaking, he hopped on call with you while also helping notify your fans of the girl's lies.

Nightly calls were almost a daily thing between you two, as well as constant facetimes during yours and his visits to the gym. His hat was always left on, despite feeling just a little extra hot, he wasn’t quite ready to show you yet. You fully understood considering you used to hide your face from everyone.

The closer you got, the more you wanted to visit him. You were bringing much more in than you expected from streaming, so a plane ticket wouldn’t be a problem. You wanted it to be a surprise to Alex though, knowing that would make it more fun. Alex had often talked about you guys meeting in real life, and how exciting it would be. It was decided, you would be booking a flight to see him. You already knew where he lived, having reached out to karl to help you with the surprise. Making him swear he wouldn’t tell alex you were going to see him. The plane ticket was much easier to get than you expected, and packing was done in a matter of hours.

The nerves set in that night after you had finished packing. It was clear to you and the fans that you had a bit of a thing for Alex, and getting to meet him was making you nervous. You always wondered if you should tell him how you felt but was always too scared to let it slip out to him. You had come so close to saying it a few days ago but it just got stuck in your throat.

You hardly slept the night, and as much as you hoped you would sleep on the plane, you didn’t. You were too nervous and excited at the same time. Feeling bad when you had to decline a facetime from alex while you were on the plane, not wanting to spoil the surprise. Though you answered him as soon as you were off the plane and in a taxi. “ hermosa, why didn’t you answer any of my calls before? I thought you were mad at me! “, “ im sorrrryyyy, I was taking a long nap, I’m in a taxi now though “, “ a taxi? Where are you going, hermosa? “, smiling to yourself, knowing in just a short while he will know where you are.

That came sooner than you expected though. Getting out of the taxi and making sure the camera is angled directly at your face so he can’t see where you are. “ im just visiting a friend nearby. Hold on just one sec, alex. “. knocking very gently on his door and looking to the camera, nerves setting back in when you see him leave his room. “ someones here, but I didn’t order any pizza. if I die, it was the hut, hermosa. “, unable to hold back a giggle. Looking to the door when it opens and smiling brightly at the boy in front of you. “ guess now you know which friend I’m visiting, huh? “. He didn’t respond at first, probably still trying to process it. Just as you didn’t process what he was doing until you were lifted up into a tight hug.

Smiling brightly as you hugged back. Not even letting go when you were set down. His arms were wrapped to tight around your waist, if you were a balloon you probably would’ve popped by now. You didn’t mind it though, you felt safe in his arms. Your nerves being shooed away with one little hug. “ how the fuck did you manage to surprise me so well, hermosa “ , “ you know I like to keep you on your toes, ‘lex “. Smiling again when he lets out a light laugh at your response.

“ come in, come in, sorry it might be kind of a mess “, Alex spoke as he gathered your bags and carried them inside for you. Only then did you realize just how big he had gotten in the muscle category. Eyes staring at his muscles as they flexed with each movement. “ alex, when the hell did you manage to grow those? “, unable to hold your filter.

Listening to him laugh again before he flexed his arms to show off for you. “ are you checking me out, amor? “. That was new, he had never called you that before, and it was obvious to him you knew what it meant considering the blush coming to your cheeks. “ now don’t get too ahead of yourself, cowboy, you were the one purposely checking me out on call just five minutes ago “.

“ Did you expect me not too? You look really beautiful in that dress “. That was also new. Alex was constantly teasing you, but the tone in his voice was different now. It sounded so serious and dripped with confidence in how he felt. You found it hard to hold eye contact wit him now. Not even five minutes into the meet up, and alex already had you red.

“ Lets be honest, Amor, surely you didn’t expect me to hold back just because you’d turn all red and yell at me. You being here just means I can let it all out, times ten. “. His smile had you wobbly in the legs, there was something so different about seeing it in person compared to facetime.

Only now did you realize this visit was going to be a lot more different than you expected.

Alex was going to be the death of you.

Authors ending note; So who else got butterflies reading that? I got jittery and I’m the one writing it! I feel like I’m slowly beginning to get better at portraying him, and thats probably because I study the way a lot of people write him while also paying extra attention to how he is in streams/videos. Perhaps soon we will get a confession, and possibly a hair reveal? Who knowssss, guess you guys will have to just stick around for the next one! Also who else lost their mind over that photo he dropped last night? I’m in the whatsapp and as soon as he sent it, twitter was going absolutely chaotic[myself included]! If you guys wanna follow me on social media, my X is @/f_fuyuma! Until next time, My Angels 🫶

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ikigaisvt · 1 year ago

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A good job kiss and red roses.

in which you are jealous of jeonghan giving out roses to his fans during his concert and he catches on quicker than you think.

pairing: jeonghan x gn!reader words count: 883 content: fluff, domestic, idol au warnings: extremely self indulgent im so sorry, a little bit of angst? reader is jealous for like 2 seconds, petnames (for reader: angel, love, sweetheart / for jeonghan: my love), skinship (hug, backhug, talk of kiss, implied kiss), reader is smaller than jeonghan note: hi everyone! i didn't thought i'd post something tonight but today's concert and jeonghan's selca on twt ruined me,;;,;,,, so i have been deluluing! shoutout to @homerunhansol for deluluing with me all day,, this came to be because she told me jeonghan is my bf and he is giving me flowers. i haven't recovered yet! i hope everyone likes it, don't be shy to send feebacks and reblog! (and yes i made a reference to jeonghan's solo song during ideal cut,,, @ jeonghan perform purple rose again pls)

Tonight is one of those night I wish I wasn’t dating an idol, you think to yourself. Of course, you love your boyfriend, Jeonghan, more than words could ever say. You don’t know why it pulls at you heart strings so much to see him give flowers to his fans – maybe it comes from the fact that he gave you flowers only thrice in your 2 years of dating. You know deep down it doesn’t have the same meaning when he gives flowers to his fans between when he gives you flowers – and yet you can’t stop the jealousy seeping in your bones and the pout forming on your lips.

As you wait for him to come home, you continue to scroll down through all the photos and videos you see of fans getting a flower from Jeonghan tonight. I am not going to be jealous; you say to yourself. Once he comes home, this stops. As you look at the clock, you realize he should have come home at least an hour ago but you don’t even have the time to worry that you hear the front door opens and the familiar sound of his steps – just from the sound, you know he is trying to get his shoes off without bending down. Typical Jeonghan.

"Jeonghan?" you call out to him.

"Angel? You waited up for me? Wait- I’m just trying to get this off." you hear him mumble to himself.

You set down your phone and get up from the couch to greet him – and give him his congratulation kiss for a good job. As you make your way to him, you remind yourself to stop being so jealous – and to stop pouting. You don’t even get to the entry that Jeonghan appears in front of you, pretty as ever – and carrying a bouquet of red roses, a little withered.

"I’m sorry I came home so late", he tells you, "I- I had to pick this up", he says as he holds out the bouquet in front of you.

"Is this for me?" you ask him, taking the bouquet in your hands. I can’t believe I doubted him even one second, you tell yourself.

"Of course, love", he says, "who else could it be for?" he says with a teasing tone.

Oh, he knows.

"Your fans, I guess", you mumble more to yourself than for him.

"What was that?" he questions as he follows you into the kitchen.

"You know it all, don’t make me say it again", you answer as you fill a vase with water for your roses. They really need it.

"Yeah, I do, sweetheart", he tells you, his voice getting quieter and not so teasing anymore, encircling your waist with his arms and his chin finding rest on your shoulder. "I can promise you that this doesn’t mean the same. To give them flowers and to give you flowers."

"I know", you say as you work on putting the roses in the vase correctly. You set it down on the counter delicately and put your hands over Jeonghan’s. "I’m not mad, I promise", you almost whisper. "I was a little jealous but now I’m okay. Thank you for the roses, my love", you tell him as your turn around in his hold, your arms resting on his shoulder. "But how did you know I would need this?"

"I realized when I was getting my makeup done for the concert", he tells you, his thumb making circles on the exposed part of your skin – between your shorts and your shirt. "I begged my manager to go buy a bouquet of red roses and drop it off at the dorm. I guess neither him or Seungkwan thought about putting it in water hence why they look so sad", he explains as his hand reaches the roses behind you, your gaze following his movement. "I went directly from the concert hall to pick it up but the traffic was insane so I got here late."

"You didn’t have to do all that, Jeonghan. Especially after that insane concert."

"I know", he says, gazing at you, "but I truly wanted to. Did you watch it?"

"Yeah, I did, you were all amazing. I was cheering for another Aju Nice round", you chuckle.

"We might have died if we kept going", he chuckles. "Thank you for watching it, angel. But I think we’re forgetting something here."

"We are?" you say with a smile, having a pretty good idea of what it is. "And what is that handsome boy?" you say, your fingers playing with his hair at the nape of his neck.

"Where’s my good job kiss?" he asks in a pout.

"You will get it on one condition", you tease him.

"Tell me anything and I’ll do it."

"Yoon Jeonghan, you are tempting me right now", you giggle. "Can I choose the color of the next bouquet of roses you’ll get me?"

"Oh angel, of course", he says, "what color would you like?"

"Purple roses", you whisper as you get on your tiptoe to kiss him. After all, he did a perfect job tonight – at both being a boyfriend and an idol.

thank you so much for reading, i hope you liked it! if you did please don't forget to reblog

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ruby-winchester24 · 2 years ago

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Kenny McCormick headcanons!

[sfw+nsfw] {fem reader}

very affectionate

PDA is his favorite, he wants everyone to know that your his

will make out with you in the hallways, he has no shame

always wants to hang out but not at his house he hates being at home

since he can’t pay for gifts he shows his love through physical touch aka his love language

6’0

he has always had the stereotype that he is a player, it’s far from the truth

body count is 2

will walk you to class he doesn’t care if he is late to his own class

texts you randomly in the middle of class

👌🏼👈🏼

“shut up and put your phone away”

he is surprisingly a great student but some days he just doesn’t feel like doing work

always asks for notes

his lock screen and profile pictures are you ofc

once saved up money for 2 months to buy you a promise ring

loves cuddling, mostly the only thing you guys do when you hang out

has naked Polaroids of you in his room

always finds time to hang out with you it doesn’t matter what’s happening he’s there

he was so happy that you liked his family

his dad doesn’t really give a shit low key

his mom on the other hand thinks your an angel because you babysit Karen sometimes

you try your best to cook for his family whenever you can since they don’t really get meals

Karen literally adores you

she always wants to play or hang out with you and Kenny

you buy her Christmas presents!

Kenny usually comes over to your house to shower, but he will always hang out with you too

loved when you cook breakfast when he spends the night

he def listens to NBA young boy i’m sorry💀

only sports he plays are football and track, low key hates track but he gets out of school a lot for it

motherfucker is FAST he beat the school record for the 100m race

will always hug you after a game or meet🤭

he is always hurt, usually has a couple cuts of bruises on his body

his hands are really calloused from working all the time

shows you embarrassing photos or videos of they guys

will always listen to your drama

“No because Bebe was literally calling Nicole out but she has also done the same thing!”

“What a hypocritical bitch”🙄💅🏽

“I know!”

he hates his teeth because there crooked and is missing the front one

always slapping your ass, it doesn’t matter where you are

will hold hands or interlock pinkies when walking together

will always express how much he loves you

kisses you all the time

is your personal hype man!

you have seen him die before and you did remember

you were so distraught for the rest of the day, when you woke up to Kenny knocking on your door, it fucked your brain

tells you about him being immortal and that’s the first time you ever see him cry

“sometimes i feel like a freak, being able to die and come back the next day like nothing happened isn’t normal!”

“i just want to be normal..”

he is actually a very emotional person but since he didn’t get much attention when he was younger, and his father yelling at him for crying he usually doesn’t to it much

but when he does it’s heartbreaking

he has panic attacks when he does cry from all of the emotions he feels that’s he not used too

when you try to calm him down you ask him to tell you happy memories

tells you stories about the boys when they were younger

he is your bodyguard also if anyone try’s to start shit with you it’s on

always drags you along with him when he hangs out with the boys

the guys usually complain about it aka Eric

when he spends the night at your house he always asks if you guys can have a spa night, since he can’t take showers too often he always enjoys the days you pamper him and make him feel clean

his love languages are physical touch and quality time

will rub your back before you fall asleep

if you smoke, he is your new smoking buddy

when he is high he is overly touchy, he just wants to be with you

if you do any sports or activities, he will be there cheering the loudest for you

he posts you almost everyday on his snap story

you teach Karen to braid hair🥰

Kenny loves how you are so close to Karen

is always thinking about having kids with you

wants to get married one day

NSFW!!

he is a very kinky person, even you bending over gives him a hard on

his main kinks are

orgasm conrol

bondage

breeding

a little bdsm

praise and degradation

choking

wax play

overstimulation

always down to try something new

he LOVES bondage, the idea of you being tied up and helpless gets him worked up

remember when i said he has those naked polaroid pics of you? he def rubs one out looking at those when your away

mostly a dom but likes when you are in control every now and then

orgasm control is his favorite, to see you looking at him with begging eyes

8 inches….

he is definitely more experienced when it comes to sex so he knows how to make you feel great

very vocal, he usually grunts and moans

loves to mark you up wherever he can

in missionary he will hold onto you as he thrusts into you

“god, baby girl you’re so beautiful”

“such a good slut, taking all of me”

“i own you”

“look at me when i cum in you”

loves to eat you out

music if definitely playing on the background

loves cream pies so hopefully your on birth control

8/10 will cum in you during sex

he has many toys to use on you

if your sucking him off he will hold your hair and guide your head up and down

cock warming is very common, he love’s physical touch and being able to be inside you makes him really happy

loves when you moan it makes him even more horny when you do

lingerie is his favorite😮‍💨

when your in control he is very submissive like extremely

he will beg for you to touch him and for him to cum

when you ride him, he is a mess

aftercare is usually really sweet

will always ask if you need anything before he gets up to get water

he will always make you take a shower with him, which ends up as round two

but it’s okay after you actually get cleaned up he will hold you and whisper sweet nothings into you ear

“you did so great for be baby”

“i love you so so much”

“your so beautiful, my beautiful girl”

“i’m here i will not let you go”

also i forgot to add in my last posts, they are all aged up!! anyways i hope you like this

#south park #kenny mccormick #kenny mcormick x reader #kenny my beloved #i’m mentally ill #kenny south park #kenny x you #south park headcanons #south park x reader

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its-time-to-write · 1 year ago

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i hold it like a grudge - ch. 1

okayyy so I’m completely done with this fic! I’m editing my posts now, and I’m not sure if it’ll all get done tonight. Definitely tomorrow. Here’s the first chapter, hope you enjoy!

table of contents you have everything (you still want more)

To say you were blindsided would be a gross understatement.

You were metaphorically slapped in the face so hard that you feel like you have a broken neck due to whiplash.

Your boyfriend had been away for the week with his football team, and you hadn’t been able to go with him. So you’d done what any WAG would do and watched the match on his giant telly, all decked out in pale blue.

Life with Jamie Tartt as your boyfriend was great. You’d been dating since secondary school while he was in the academy. It was strange to go from chicken shop dates to meals that cost more than your rent. He’d promised to pay for your uni fees which was a godsend because there was no way you’d be able to afford it on your own. You both had a whole future planned together.

Which is why you’re shocked to see Jamie’s name in the papers, followed by the name Keeley Jones.

And a picture of them kissing.

You aren’t even googling him when you find out. You’re out for groceries of all things, groceries for his welcome-home dinner in a day and a half. His name catches your eye so you stop to smile at him before you realize what you’re looking at.

The world goes fuzzy, your gaze locked on their lips.

In a single moment, your world has been tilted completely on its head.

You find yourself in Jamie’s too-large flat, staring at your phone, willing yourself to press the green call button.

You take a shallow breath and hold the phone up to your ear. It rings once, twice, almost to the point where it’ll go to voicemail, but then you hear Jamie say, “What?”

“What?” you reply, “what do you mean, what? I should be the one asking you that? What the fuck are you doing kissing an instagram model??”

Jamie snorts and says four words that cause your heart to drop like a stone.

“We’re broken up, babe.”

Your breath is coming in too fast and too shallow. “When were you going to tell me that we fucking broke up? And don’t call me babe!” you choke out.

Jamie says, “Thought it were implied,” in a dismissive voice. It’s foreign to you. He’s never spoke to you- to anyone like this before.

“Right, okay, yeah, makes total sense. I find out we’ve broken up after seeing you in the papers with another girl,” you retort.

“Glad it’s finally clicking,” Jamie says. It’s strange how much he can hurt you, even through the phone.

A voice calls him in the background, a voice you presume belongs to Keeley Jones, and then there’s silence. He’s hung up.

You stare at your phone for a long, long time.

—

All you can think about is what you did wrong. You comb Jamie’s flat for anything that belongs to you, shove it into your car, and drive back to your own, too-small too-crowded flat.

You wonder if you were too clingy as you carefully fold up every Man City kit. You think it’s possible you weren’t affectionate enough as you stack every polaroid photo. You wonder if maybe it has to do with your physical appearance as you hunt for scissors and some matches.

You try to make yourself not care as you burn the photos and cut up the shirts.

Your hands linger over a maroon away kit. It was always your favorite, and for a moment you consider keeping it.

Then you remember Jamie saying, glad it’s finally clicking as though you never meant anything, so you grab the scissors and cut it into shreds.

—

Uni is out of the question. There is absolutely no way you’re going to be able to afford it so you start two full-time jobs.

Every day feels like a struggle to breathe. You get out of bed and tell yourself I can do this as you get ready for work and tighten your budget. The drowning feeling never quite goes away, but the months pass all the same.

You’re grateful that although you don’t save a lot of money, you’re able to pay your bills on time. Your flatmates generally leave you alone when you’re home, but you’ve found ice cream in the freezer with your name on it that you know you didn’t buy. They’ll place a blanket over you every time you fall asleep on the couch, and fervently ban all Manchester City merchandise from entering the flat.

Breakthrough comes in the form of a gift.

A literal gift, and one you’re giving, not receiving.

It’s a set of earrings for a friend, hoops with her name set around them. She wears them to work exactly once, and the next thing you know, orders are pouring in.

It’s enough that you quit one job, then the next, then hire both flatmates to help you in the evenings. Pretty soon, there’s an opportunity for you to open a small shop in a part of London. You get a larger flat (all to yourself!) and before long, Manchester blue no longer haunts you.

—

The bell above the door rings, signifying a customer.

“Hi, you okay?” you say from behind the counter. You turn around and lock eyes with Keeley Jones, followed by Jamie Tartt.

Just breathe.

Jamie looks spooked, well, he looks spooked to you. Not sure if anyone else would know his expressions well enough to catch the shock cross his face. Keeley smiles brightly, and you can see that same adoring look you used to have. Maybe a little muted, she’s more mature than you were, so she probably understands her role in this relationship. Enjoy it while you can, get out before it hurts.

You can’t think about it now so before Jamie can ruin anything more you decide to play dumb and fucking introduce yourself as though your ex-boyfriend and the woman he shagged behind your back aren’t in your safe space that you created to escape him.

Keeley didn’t know, you remind yourself, except at this point it’s more of a prayer of faith hingeing on Jamie’s apparent selfish nature. There’s a good chance he didn’t mention you, a far cry from the boy who used to follow you grocery shopping because he liked to be with you (and so he could slip his card in the register before you had a chance to protest).

“Hi, I’m Keeley,” she says with a smile. “This one’s Jamie, but you’ll be hearing more about him I’m sure. He’s a footballer on loan to AFC Richmond, and he’s fucking brilliant on the pitch.”

You copy her smile. “How can I help you?”

“I saw your earrings on instagram, and I absolutely had to get some. Then when we moved here, I wanted to see your shop! And this one said he’d get them for me, isn’t that sweet?”

Keeley wraps herself around Jamie’s arm, oblivious to the way he can’t figure out how to react.

He settles on a nod and a grunt, so you pull out different hoop sizes and letter fonts, and get to work.

She settles on gold, with tiny letters spelling Keeley.

“They’ll be ready for pickup in three days,” you say, ushering them out the door.

Keeley hasn’t stopped smiling this whole time and in contrast, Jamie hasn’t stopped frowning, but they’ve made their purchase and are headed down the street.

The moment they’re well and truly gone, you pull out your phone and Google, Jamie Tartt richmond. The top results are all about his loan from City to AFC Richmond, your Richmond; your escape is no longer an escape. It’s only a matter of time before his face is plastered all around town. The thought of it turns your stomach.

But there’s no way you’ll ever see him.

So you get through your day like normal, head back home, and play too-loud music through your headphones as you cook dinner. By the time it’s ready, you’re dancing to Islands in the Stream with all worries about Jamie firmly banished from your mind.

table of contents

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

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wannawritefast · 1 year ago

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Comfortember 2023 Day 6: “Notes”

A/N: My sporadic contribution to Comfortember. It’s short but Johnny Cage bbs come get y’all juice. It’s my birth month and I’m closing in on the end of my semester so I can’t promise anything but please enjoy!!

Pairing: Johnny Cage x Reader

Warnings: none, fluff :)

Notes. Johnny left them everywhere. Don’t get him wrong. He definitely preferred the convenience of using his phone to send you little memos. It was instant and Johnny could really accommodate his own attention span by using his phone but when he found out on accident how much you loved them, he made a point of it.

You both still remembered the first of its kind.

A pink sticky note on the back of your script that said “And it was all a dream!” with the most hastily-drawn smiley face ever.

You laughed when you saw it. It was a miracle that it hadn’t become a casualty to the rough handling of your scripts before you discovered it.

He had to have done it when you were putting your post-its in your script, marking it up the night before. You hadn’t thought much of the clumsy kiss he gave you when he checked in as the sun went down. Then again you hadn’t been paying that close attention to him or anything else for that matter. A glass of water. A “How’s it going, baby?” A stumble and a peck. And his leg and hand knocking right into the back of the thick stack of 8.5 by 11 copy paper in your grasp as he had moved to sit next to you.

The bump into the script in your hand had been completely intentional, you realized with delight at the table read. It made your Instagram story in seconds accompanied by the words ‘original illustration by @johnny.cage’ and some pink hearts in the top right corner.

That had sealed it.

The next one you found was in your purse. Well, not your purse exactly. It was in the compact in your purse. Blue. “Hey, good-lookin.’” A winky face. It had fluttered out as you were landing out of the country for a shoot. You still had your neck pillow on. You sent Johnny one of the ugliest selfies you had ever taken with it. Against your protests, it became his lock screen photo.

Then they truly popped up everywhere. Your boyfriend was relentless.

A set of expensive rings you’d stared at a little too long on Rodeo. Purple sticky note. “For my precious.” A noble but indecent-looking stick figure attempt at Gollum was near it, partially scribbled out.

Surprise coffee in your trailer. Yellow note. Sunshine with sunglasses.

New boots, courtesy of Johnny. Pink. “Step on me in these.”

Sleeping in while he had left at the crack of dawn. Pink. “Busy all day. Sushi at our regular spot for dinner.” Heart.

Almost all of them made your Instagram story. The dick that looked like it had been drawn by a middle school boy on a blue sticky note slapped to the bathroom mirror, for example, hadn’t made the cut. The ones that did though… Johnny reposted each within 5 minutes, no matter what time it was.

Like the orange sticky note you woke up to under your glasses that said ‘Jinkies!’ You had gone to bed and left them on your nightstand at 4 am. Johnny had stayed up with you. He had left at 6 am for the day. It made you worry about his sleep schedule.

It didn’t matter that you couldn’t keep up with his god-like speed in making unique sticky notes. You posted them. And you kept and remembered all of them. All of them. Yes, even the blue doodle dick.

Again, Johnny definitely preferred sending you texts and voice memos as soon as he felt like you were forgetting how hot you were, which was usually several times a day. It should also be noted that the sticky notes never detracted from the amount of attention he was already giving you. Johnny was a beast at reminding you how much he loved you.

As he had said it once: “There’s no threshold, baby. I’ll die telling you how sexy your walker is; the last sticky note I ever leave you will tell you the same thing.”

He slapped one on your ass after he had said that. Yellow. “Johnny Cage wuz here.”

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starscelly · 6 months ago

Note

I'm actually curious, why don't you like Jamie Benn sm ? Is it just because or is there an actual reason ?

so . there’s legit reasons but it’s like. you need Me Lore to understand why i don’t like him to That level. i’ll provide the Lore and kinda put myself on blast in the read more but as for notable things he has done:

followed c*ndace ow*ns on instagram and liked posts from her talking about keeping trans women out of sports (he has never watched women’s sports a day in his life i promise u) (iirc this was march 2021)

and play wise . just will make dirty and questionable hits (not really this year, in fairness, but like every year before this) which Makes Me Uncomfortable!

and ik like . “cel it’s hockey. all of them are conservative and weird and probably transphobic” which true!!! but if they are i would like them to be very silent about it!!! anyways . more context about why it’s sooo severe to me with him in particular 👇

you need to understand . i was a JAMIE girlie (gn). he very heavily made me a stars fan to be real . like segs queer allure brought me to them but jamie’s everything PULLED me in and made me stay.

some time stamped examples of me being insane

a friend got me his funko pop for my birthday . i put hours into drawing him

like i was in the trenches!!! ! i LOVED this man this was my hockey player of all time!!

i literally finished that drawing february 2021. a month later he’s like . transphobia be upon ye. DEVASTATING . DEVASTATING STUFF FOR ME. someone who dabbles in transgenderism!!!!

and i know . i KNOW the vast majority of players are transphobic/transmisogynists. i’m not foolish i don’t believe this is wokehl. but i personally CANT deal with KNOWING for SURE my number one favorite player is like that. i cannot it would plague my thoughts 24/7.

so i immediately pull completely away from him - thankfully not from the team, atp i’m In It i just start investing all my care points into segs and stephen johns - delete almost every photo off my phone, stop following him stop keeping up with his life etc etc bc it!!! hurts!!!!!! knowing ur favorite player openly fundamentally disagrees with everything you are!!!!

that’s why the like. hatred. is so intense from me with him in particular because like . fuck him for that and how sad that made me. like idk my relationship with other players like that is kinda. whatever. like idrc about them. but bc he was my favorite dude ever it’s like . i’m never gonna be able to go back to liking him in any capacity.

ik its Dramatique but it’s also like . my life and my choice so 😭 wtv

#i wish i had more messages and screenshots from 2019 but i? don’t? but this was over a year long love affair . trust #sorry i had to get Long Winded abt it #bc i think i’ve talked briefly abt it before but i wanted to bring it before the court fully to finally give Real Context #um anyways 💫#thank u 🫡

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teejaysnow · 2 months ago

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I promised henrik.holm.news over at instagram to translate the podcast Henrik did with his trainer earlier this month, so for those of you who haven’t read it over there already, this is the result. (And as always - I’m a Swede translating Norwegian into English, so prepare yourself accordingly 🇸🇪🇳🇴🇬🇧)

Laminofly: In the Book of Life of Henrik Holm, which chapter are we at now?

Henrik: I think we’re at a build up chapter.

L: A what?

H: I look at my life as chapters going: Build up, tear down, build up, tear down…

L: Okay?

H: So now, I’m building a table where it’s possible to eat.

L: What’s that a metaphor for?

H: For finding some kind of stability in life. Because I haven’t, like, chosen a very traditional way.

L: No.

H: So… I realised I needed more legs to stand on. So then it’s nice to visualise it like a table instead of visualising it like balls to juggle because that’s an exhausting visualisation. I can see that you’re grinning now, but it’s not that kind of balls I’m talking about, Lamin.

L: So. The title of this chapter, that is a build up chapter, is…

H: Let’s build a table.

L: Let’s build a table. What is it that defines this chapter the most?

H: Work.

L: Okay.

H: Working at trying to improve myself on a lot of fronts at the same time.

L: Yeah? What fronts are you trying to improve at?

H: I’m always trying to improve myself as an actor. And I do a lot of photography.

L: So… photography, acting…

H: And then I write a bit, trying to develop a project.

L: Okay?

H: That I want to, like, become a… like, I dream of making movies.

L: Okay?

H: So… but… film is such a noble form of expression that… I have such a lot of respect for it that I really want to know my stuff. It’s expensive to make movies. That might be why I find more freedom in photography because there I can do my own thing and just express myself.

L: So you’re out taking photos?

H: Yeah, I always bring my camera.

L: Mm. What is it you like to take photos of?

H: It varies. It’s very intuitive. But I love to take photos of people. I love to catch the real moments. And in this day and age I think that’s difficult because people are so self conscious. As soon as you take the camera out, there will be a pose or… But I like to edit my photos so you can’t see who’s in them.

L: Why?

H: Because I don’t want to, like… like, the line, it’s… Where is the privacy line in today’s society where you, like, post everything about your life? After my life changed overnight, that’s been one of the biggest challenges that I’ve had, to be able to separate my professional life from my personal life.

L: You said that your life changed overnight?

H: Yeah, I was in a series called Skam.

L: You were.

H: Yeah.

L: But when you say that your life changed overnight, what was it that changed? What was it that changed and how?

H: Like, as an actor, you are very exposed in the way that when people watch a series or a film or something like that, they feel like, if the actor does a good job, that they know that character and they’re joining in on the journey, and weirdly enough the distinction between them is wiped away. So you’re going from no one knowing who you are to everyone having a relation to you. Everyone has already put you in a box, personal or professional. And fortunately I was in a project that meant a lot to very many people so it has almost exclusively been positive. But that’s made it even more important to me to be able to separate it, because... it isn’t personal. Like, if someone likes what you’ve done or hates what you’ve done, that’s more about them than it is about you. So it means that you can appreciate it but you can’t take it to heart, whether it’s positive or negative.

L: Do you feel like it’s been hard?

H: Yeah, really hard. It’s been a weird experience.

L: Which part of it is it that’s been hard?

H: I’ve known that I’ve wanted to act since I was a teenager and I’ve always known that publicity is part of the job. I think maybe the hardest part has been to just stay myself. Not trying to be someone I think other people want me to be.

L: Right. Because how old were you when this happened?

H: I was maybe twenty one? Something like that? I think I’d turned twenty one.

L: Then it’s probably a bit hard to stay yourself too, because what is “yourself”, who are you when you’re twenty one? You haven’t one hundred percent decided who you want to be in the world, I guess.

H: Precisely.

L: So to stay the “yourself” that you might not really be sounds a bit complicated.

H: At least if your ambition is to continue doing it. And what it would take to continue with it. And that led to, like, a downward spiral, but because I was lucky enough... I had finished secondary school and I fortunately had a strong network of family and friends around me that reminded me of who I was.

L: Yeah, because they hold a lot of your identity, especially when you're that young.

H: Yeah, I believe that you often see yourself through the eyes of others, especially the people closest to you. And that’s what matters in the end. But I was so occupied with staying successful, and at that age you don’t know what it takes and you might not have the right people to guide you to where you want to be.

L: No, but what did you picture as success at that age?

H: It was to work. And to work with talented people. In the country we’re from. And that was a bit of a disadvantage because the downside of a huge success is that we turn into those characters.

L: Yeah, okay, but when you say that success is to work with talented people. There isn’t a downside to only working with talented people, so if success is to only work with talented people, then there isn’t a downside to it. So then it depends on what, other than working with talented people, is success to you when you’re twenty one and have just acted in a series that proved to be important and engaging for a lot of people.

H: It was to continue, I guess. To be able to continue working. And preferably work on bigger projects.

L: And when you say bigger, is that bigger budget or bigger recognition or-

H: Well, I think, like, we’ve been through a period where series have had a pretty high status. But as an actor, I’ve often dreamt of working with film, and there are a lot of talented people there. And, yeah, there isn’t anything negative about working with talented people, but the challenge is the whole process of getting those jobs. And being a young actor requires you to handle rejections. That’s half the job. Not to mention the audition process where you use months to see yourself in a part.

L: Because you need to mentally immerse yourself into the character you’re auditioning for, so you walk around and think about it many hours every day.

H: Yeah.

L: And then it’s not certain that you’ll get the part.

H: No.

L: And then you’re still committed to the character.

H: Yeah, that was… The build-up to the part in Skam was that I had been to an acting school in New York, and before I left for New York, this was just one of those three months summer school courses at Maggie Flanigan, so before I left for New York, I’d reached the third audition, and the third audition is usually the last audition.

L: Either you’ve got it or you won’t get it.

H: Yeah, then it’s most likely between you and one or a couple of others. And they were about to make the Ash Lad movies and at the time, that was a mega project.

L: So did you actually want the Ash Lad film rather than the series? Because you didn’t know what Skam was before Skam became Skam.

H: No, just hear me out. So… I leave for New York and I have all of this at the back of my mind, like, I’ve just finished secondary school and I’ve chosen to chase this hopeless dream of becoming an actor because it was something that I’d loved since I was a kid. As long as I can remember, really. But… it’s, like, not a serious direction to take, at least not when you grow up in the west end of Oslo and most people enrol at BI or move to Trondheim to enrol in some kind of economics courses. So to choose a kind of path that is so uncertain means that you somehow have to prove something. And I think everyone who’s chosen to do something creative or take a somewhat different path can recognise this. There is always a kind of expectation or pressure from parents or family or friends to find something safe. And I think it’s all with good intentions because they’ve lived longer and know that there’s a lot to say for security. But then there’s this feeling inside of you that says, This is what you’re meant to do. And it’s not reasonable and it’s not rational-

L: But you had that feeling, because not everyone can identify that feeling, or hear it, or feel it, but you did, you knew that I want to become an actor, I’ll go to New York, it’s most likely a hopeless dream…

H: Hold up, hold up. I went to New York to give myself the toughest challenge I could imagine as an actor. To go to a metropolis to act out plays in a different language in a rather stressful environment. And I was thinking to myself that, Okay, I’ll find out really fast if this is really nice or absolute crap. And those three months were just absolutely amazing, I learned so much about acting and not the least about myself, because… I remember that we had these kinds of voice periods and they consisted of a lot of breathing exercises and releasing tension from your body and your voice and such. And those kinds of exercises can make you, like, really emotional. So there I was, lying on the floor smiling and laughing while everyone around me lay there crying and were feeling completely out of it. And I was so happy, I could just, like, taste the air and be like, Ah, what is this, this is absolutely magical. So I definitely knew that I wanted to do more of that. But as an actor, you’re really dependent on others. You’re very lucky if you get the chance at all. So I felt that getting to the third audition was my make it or break it opportunity. So I’m lying there in New York, fervently practising the Ash Lad script they’d sent me, beginning to see myself as the Ash Lad, being really jolly, and… [laughs] everybody around me are, like, Wow, you’re such a nice person. And then I return home, and then the day after that I’m going to the audition, it was just like straight on.

L: Okay. And that was the third audition.

H: The third audition. At eight o’clock in the morning. And I was jet lagged, and nervous, and the first thing I do when I wake up is to throw up all of my breakfast, right? And I was just, like, I’m sweating and I’m dizzy and I have to go to the audition and try to be really jolly and happy and interested, and that went straight to hell, right? It went so bad, and I just thought, Oh God, that was my one chance. So… I forgot about it for a while, and then…

L: Wait a minute, you forgot about it?

H: I forgot about the acting thing for a while. Because I had put too much weight on that one part and I thought, this is, like, shit. And then summer passed and I started working at Kaffebrenneriet at Skovveien. And it’s almost like, or not almost, it was, like, praying to The Powers That Be that, Okay, this is the direction I’m supposed to take, right? Give me a sign or something. Give me a chance and I’m bloody well going to prove it. So… I’m sitting on the bus on my way to work, and Instagram wasn’t exactly new at the time but it was getting new features.

L: What year is this?

H: 2016? 2015, 2016, I think? So I open messenger, and I see that I’ve gotten something that’s called “messenger request”, and there I see that I’ve got a message from someone called Susanna, and I click on it, wondering what the hell this is, I’ve never seen “messenger request” before? And there I see, “Hi, do you want to come to an audition for the new season of Skam?” And I thought, “Cool”, and then I see the date. A month ago. Oh my God, have I missed that chance? So I answer really quickly, because I’m on my way into work and I’m probably late, “Yeah, cool, when can I come?” and then I added my phone number. And then I don’t think about it again until lunch so then I take out my mobile and I see that I’ve forgotten to lock it. So I’ve sent voice messages to the producer while I’m at the checkout at Kaffebrenneriet.

L: Yeah, because this is Susanna.

H: Yeah.

L: Yeah. And you had spammed her with messages.

H: I spammed her with voice messages where I’m at Kaffebrenneriet, saying “Good day, monsieur, what can I do for you today, then?” [laughs] And we’re talking at least fifteen or so messages and I thought, that’s the end of my career then. This is going to be this talked about story and, like, That guy, Henrik, nobody wants to work with him again, because…

L: But also, she got fifteen notifications from you. So she had to notice you.

H: Yeah, but in my mind I was just thinking, like, Oh, hell and damnation. That’s the last thing I want to do, torment someone at work, or, like, be a bother. So I just sent a message of, like, “Hey, sorry, just forget about my existence, just delete these messages, I’ll shut up now, sorry.” But fortunately she was very nice, like Susanna is, so she just said, “Don’t think about it, just come in for an audition the day after tomorrow”. And then I think it took, it took about three or four days from that first audition until we were filming.

L: Wow.

H: It was truly the last casting.

L: So this had nothing to do with the Ash Lad…

H: No, no, no.

L: Okay, then I’m with you.

H: Sorry, I wasn’t clear enough. I didn’t get the Ash Lad part. It’s not me playing Ash Lad. But after that…

L: You prayed to The Powers That Be to give you a sign and then you were going to do your absolute best and then you were on your way to work and then you got the message from Susanna, a message request, something you’d never got before, and then you spammed her with fifteen messages, she chose to disregard those fifteen messages, she said, Not a problem, come to an audition, you go to the audition a couple of days later, and from you going to that audition…

H: There were another couple of auditions, and then we started filming, like, two days after I got the part.

L: Wow.

H: They released the episodes while filming, so there were about two weeks from us filming until it was up on screen. So it just turned like that [snaps fingers].

L: So that’s why you think, or at least why it feels like it happened overnight.

H: Yeah.

L: Did you feel like the series was special before you joined, or did you just think that, yeah, it’s a series, it’s cool.

H: Oh yeah, I had a lot of thoughts about Skam.

L: Yeah?

H: Yeah, yeah. Like, it had already become a phenomenon, and then I remember seeing the trailer that is this, like, milk fight scene in the boy’s changing room. Lots of semi nude boys in a very sexualised display. So the season was obviously about Isak coming out of the closet.

L: And you’re playing Isak?

H: No. You haven’t seen it?

L: No. [both laughs]

H: No, no, no.

L: But we’ve talked about this before, I wasn’t living in Norway when Skam was a thing.

H: You are excused.

L: I don’t need an excuse. It’s my explanation.

H: Okay. I thought, oh my god, they can’t do this, they can’t… they can’t talk about homosexuality in that way, it’s going to… it’s going to make it worse in a way?

L: Make what worse?

H: Society’s view on homosexuality. Because many of those who dislike homosexuality do it because they view it as a kind of sexual perversion. They can’t understand that people can fall in love with a person of the same gender. So a lot of my motivation for that role was to show that it was about love. So I had a very clear motivation.

L: If we can return to the dreams you had back then, about making movies. Did you feel that it was a… it feels wrong to call it a downgrade because you got an incredible opportunity, and you were committed, and as you say, you had your own motivation for the role after you’d seen the trailer and so on, but, you really wanted to make movies. What were your feelings about that?

H: That it’s too much to ask for in Norway. You can’t control things like that.

L: But can you control your dreams?

H: No, but you tend to leave your childish dreams behind when you grow older.

L: So you thought that making a movie was a childish dream?

H: No, not necessarily. But you can’t control casting opportunities. That’s part of the magic and uncertainty of being a freelancer, like, in general. I can’t control what kind of roles that might fit me.

L: So you think that your dream of making movies was childish.

H: No, no, no, now… No. What I tried to say was that… movies are something you grow up with, like, one of my first memories is watching Star Wars, I worshipped Star Wars, all I wanted was to be a Jedi. And Lord of the Rings. Those are the things you’ve grown up with and you dream about doing things like that. And also to be taken seriously as an actor.

L: I think that what you’re trying to say is that you have dreams as a child that are based on the things you’ve seen, right, the movies you’ve seen on TV, and then when you get older you get a more practical approach to reality.

H: Precisely. And wanting to make movies is because you have a dream of making movies as an artform, not as some kind of entertainment. And that was surprisingly enough something we got to do with Skam, because you suddenly saw how this affected people, and unless you've experienced that yourself, you can’t really understand how that might feel or what kind of meaning that will give to what you’re doing. But then comes adulthood and you realise that that is something that you can’t control. And you have to get a more realistic view of it.

L: But nevertheless I think, and I don’t mean to criticise you for what you say or dream about, but nevertheless I think it’s important to keep dreaming. That one of the most beautiful things we humans have is hope and to dream of something you hope for or want. I think that, okay, maybe it isn’t realistic, but just to keep that hope that it might happen... I like to say that life can always become better than you expect. And some dreams change with time, the more of life you see and experience. So in this chapter of your life, what are you dreaming of now?

H: I think my relationship with dreams has changed a bit. Because… something you’ll realise is that you can’t really predict the things that will turn out to be the most amazing experiences of your life.

L: That’s very true.

H: And if you’re born with a vivid imagination, I think you can get caught up in your dreams and try to steer them to confirm the views you already have about the world. Or yourself for that matter. I agree that one of the most important things we humans have is hope, but for me, that is more about a state of mind than something concrete, and from that state of mind I can pursue my ambitions. And work on being one hundred percent present where I am right now. So that’s why I want to call this a build up chapter, because I don’t have time to dream, I just want to do. And I think that is part of creating your own dream life.

L: But don’t you think that dreams might also work as a kind of motivation to know which path to take and in which direction?

H: Yeah, but then I think it’s more about intuition. What is it your heart tells you? Because that is… that is your job as an actor, right? That, and to convince yourself that you’re feeling something in a certain way or understand a situation in a certain way. That’s the basis of acting. So that’s something you use in your job all the time, “What if,” right? And not the least in the casting process. It’s impossible, when you get a really exciting audition, not to begin to imagine what might be.

L: Yeah, because you learned that by the Ash Lad experience, right? Where you imagined yourself and the rest of your life and then realised that, “no, no, I can’t really continue like this”?

H: No, yeah, I mean, I was all of Norway’s Ash Lad. I almost said Cinderella…

L: Yeah, you thought that.

H: Of course.

L: And what else have you learned about yourself?

H: That to get such a huge success that early in life forces you to face yourself for better or worse. So I have essentially learned that the most important thing you can do to do a good job creatively is to also have a good private life. And to relax. You really can’t be creative and intuitive unless you relax and are present. And that’s when you’re at your best.

L: But how have you learned that?

H: By making thousands of mistakes.

L: With unfortunate outcomes?

H: With unfortunate outcomes. I mean, that was the tear down chapter, that was the previous chapter.

L: Yeah, right. But is it then that… because it sounds like you’ve learned how to take care of some of the things you appreciate the most, like your creativity, but do you generally…

H: It’s to live your life. And to be able to make a living from it requires you to forge your own paths, build your own networks. And there is so much talk about the things that can happen or could have happened that you have to really keep your feet on the ground. And if you can just stay in the moment and enjoy the things you have outside of work, then you unlock such peace and security in yourself that you can walk into every room, every audition, and say, This is what I have to offer and if that won’t work, then I’m not right for the part and that’s fine and I hope your project is a success.

L: Acceptance.

H: Acceptance all the way.

L: I’d say that is one of the most important things in life.

H: Because you can smell desperation a mile away.

L: Definitely.

H: And if there’s something we’ve got more than enough of, it’s desperate artists that need a job to get some kind of affirmation that they’re good at what they do. And there are so many really talented people that don’t get the opportunity to work. So that I’ve had the opportunity to get the roles I’ve got is really an enormous gift. And not the least that with that success also comes the affirmation that you’re accepted. Not that I… I also had to learn not to search for affirmation from this. From the outside. You have to find the affirmation from inside, that, I can stand behind this, I think this is good enough.

L: How… I can recognise myself in what you’re saying, I hear a lot of things that I agree with, but for someone who hasn’t really got there yet, what would you say, how do you go on to achieve this?

H: I think it is a kind of, like, revelation that needs to happen. Where you, maybe too many times, have put your trust in other people. Or have looked for affirmation from someone who won’t give you what you deserve. Because as a rule, you don’t get back what you deserve or expect. And then you end up taking it personally and that’s a very unhealthy cycle.

L: It sounds like you’re in a very good place mentally, considering, because you put a lot of yourself in the work that you do, and when that doesn’t work out then you can easily take it personally as you said.

H: That… is the result of hundreds of rejections and a deep depression where I asked myself, What am I doing? Why do I even bother doing this, it doesn’t make me happy. Is this what I’ve dreamt of? Is this what I want to do?

L: And the answer is apparently yes?

H: Yeah, I came out of it with a completely new view of it, because you sit at home, thinking, This makes me so unhappy or I don’t understand why I want to do this, why do I do this to myself yet still have that gut feeling that, This is what you’re supposed to do, just keep going, endure the shitshow. And that might be the most important thing you can take with you in life, because I feel like there’s all too much rational, intellectual talk around your journey, your opinions, but if you really listen then you have the answer deep within. Because there’s a lot of hustle and bustle around what to do with your life that I’m sure they didn’t have a hundred years ago, it was all pretty much set up for you already. And to find something like that is to find out what you’re good at and think is a lot of fun. And having a joy to bring to new things is the most important thing to have, no matter what you do. Because that’s what makes you what you are. If you go in, thinking, At that age I need to have done that, and I need to make this much money, all those superficial things? You’re going to burn out in five years because you won’t find any meaning or joy in what you do. And then you’re standing there, wondering, What the hell, why have I used so much energy and time on this? This isn’t any fun at all? So… attitude. To dare to be present, dare to be poor, dare to be alone, dare to be sad that you didn’t get a job. Totally human.

L: Yes, and you feel that you’ve been through all these steps and you still feel that you’ve made the right choice?

H: One hundred percent.

L: Are you proud of yourself?

H: Eeh. Like, I don’t just walk around feeling proud of myself. [he laughs]

L: I don’t mean feeling it all the time but now that we’re here and you’ve shared your thoughts about your journey and the choices that you’ve made, do you feel like, Wow, I’m proud of the road I’ve taken, or, I’m proud of the person that I am today?

H: Yeah. Even if I still have a long way to go, I think that it’s important to be proud of the things you’ve done and to appreciate all the things that you get to experience in life as well as the results of all the things you’ve done.

L: Yeah, I agree with you that you should be proud of the things you’ve done. But where you are now, the chapter you’re in now, are there any things that you want to work on to do better?

H: Of course. I think it would be to use my time more appropriately. The downside to the build up and tear down is that you use a lot of your time on it, and the way that you, Lamin, build things up inspire me a lot, you’re very goal oriented, where I sometimes, like, glamourise the journey.

L: How?

H: I think that wanting to be an artist requires you to be curious about all the different aspects of yourself. And what I’m trying to find is a happy medium. I think that a little bit of everything is good for you. So, hopefully the last chapter of the book is me finding that happy medium.

L: And that you by then have found your balance in a way?

H: Yeah. And found out what’s good for me and what isn’t good for me. So that’s where I’m hoping to eventually find some kind of peace. I’m still in my twenties so I’m hoping that my thirties will allow me to find some kind of consistency and balance that means that I can offer much more in a professional capacity because that’s where I give and take, right? And to be able to give as much as possible of yourself is the goal. But I also have ambitions to do other things so that means that I have to build a lot of legs.

L: What things?

H: I mentioned it before, but there are a lot of things I want to do when it comes to acting and films. And also to make things, I want to get my photographs onto a platform, and...

L: Do you have things beside that too?

H: Yeah, there’s a restaurant that I helped open too, so that’s taken up a lot of my time.

L: I like that you say that like a very casual thing, like, I had forgotten that I have this restaurant…

H: Yeah, but I think it’s… it’s not… it’s been a pleasure and a very exciting thing to be a part of. To be involved in opening something that’s also been so successful.

L: Yeah, so what’s the link, how do you go from being an actor and that creative side to a restaurant.

H: It all began with me having to get a job to get money for the russ bus, so I started working at Eide Handel. At the fish counter. To make money for…

L: For the russ bus.

H: Yeah. And then it just kept going. There’s been a cheese shop, there’s been…

L: That you’ve worked at?

H: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I’ve worked in almost every part of the service industry. When I was filming Skam, I was working two jobs on the side, one at a restaurant and one at a café. That’s also something that runs in the family, dad’s side of the family used to run a cafeteria for ages and dad even trained for it. So it’s like it’s in my blood, it comes natural to me. But I’ve never had any ambitions for it, it’s just been, like, Okay, this comes natural to me and I need a stable income. And that’s something that I’ve viewed as a safety measure. When you do freelance, you need a steady income on the side. And I also think that a lack of security is terrifying. So to always have something steady to hold onto that doesn’t drain up has been very important to me.

L: So from all that to go, Let’s open a restaurant…

H: It all began with me and Jonathan Hagen sitting at an after-party at his place…

L: And for those who don’t know who Jonathan Hagen is?

H: He is the kitchen manager at Betong.

L: And Betong is the restaurant that you work at.

H: With.

L: With. Sorry.

H: No, it’s fine. And we were a bit unhappy with, like, where we were at the time. And then he said: When I get the chance to open my own restaurant, then you’re going to be there to set the mood. So we agreed on that.

L: And this was several years ago?

H: This was several years ago. And then a few years passed and then we decided that we were going to do it.

L: And then you did it.

H: In a nutshell, yeah. And I’m still there, trying to set the mood. In my way. So I’m more of a glorified potato, as I like to call myself.

L: That’s not the worst thing to be, is it?

H: No, you can be used for everything.

L: It sounds like you’ve thought about how to be present, so how do you take care of yourself physically and mentally in this chapter?

H: I’m actually very good at taking care of myself, but that becomes deprioritised when I get swamped with work.

L: But are you really good at it in that case?

H: Yes.

L: [laughs] You said yes with zero conviction. Yes, question mark.

H: Yes, of course. But it’s a question of if you give yourself time for it. During periods when I don’t have a lot of stuff going on, then I’m really good at it. But during periods when I have three balls to juggle, then it’s more of a lower priority.

L: During the periods that you’re good at it, what does that look like then?

H: It’s a lot of, like, taking walks, meditating, yoga, exercising, eating healthy, sleeping well, hanging out with nice people, but… you don’t always have time for that.

L: I understand that it can be hard at times, but those are the things that really keep you in check.

H: Yeah, definitely.

L: So, is there some way of breaking that code so you can keep a balance between both working a lot and still exercising, meditating, taking walks, do you think it’s possible to balance it all?

H: That’s what I’m trying to find out now.

L: So you’re really at a pre happy medium.

H: In a way, yeah. But one thing is often at the expense of the other, so finding that happy medium requires that you have some kind of general idea. And for me, that means that I need more legs to stand on.

L: One thing that I’m wondering about, because you strike me as someone who doesn’t get stressed often, someone who’s a little... there isn’t a lot… I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a hurry in any situation. Which gives me a feeling that maybe you have an inner peace. Like you mentioned earlier. But I also think that if you have peace, that’s also like kryptonite, you get what I mean? That there’s always a discrepancy. So I wonder, can you identify a fear that you have where you are in life now?

H: I fear that everything will go to hell. Like, on a personal level, I know that everything is going to be fine one way or another. Even if there are going to be gruesome days where life throws challenges at you and nothing goes as planned, that’s part of the whole experience. And to be able to stand without support is a thing that shows what kind of person you are.

L: But what is your fear then? You said that you fear that things will go south, what does it mean that things go south?

H: I fear that I won’t achieve the things I want to achieve. But then we’re back to who your greatest enemy is, that there’s a devil on your shoulder who says, Do you really think you can do that?

L: Yeah, and that’s from the destructive chapter and that’s not where we are now.

H: No. But I think it’s a combination of a lot of things that motivate people, and I think fear is an undercurrent there.

L: Agreed.

H: And I think that fear might make you work even harder. So you should see it as a positive thing.

L: You were talking about how you’ve made some mistakes or that you’ve learned what you want and what you don’t want from some unlucky outcomes. Do you have a favourite mistake?

H: My ex? [both laugh] Am I allowed to say that? I think that everything… that what’s done is done in a way? You just have to throw in the towel. And there are complex reasons as to why you do what you do.

L: Absolutely. But I’m sure you can look back and say that that thing, that was a mistake. And then the question is, which of all those times that you can look back at and think, That wasn’t well done or That was a mistake, which of these is your favourite mistake?

H: As I said, I think it has to be, it has to be either relations where you convince yourself that this is really good, or this has to work, or…

L: So what is it that makes your ex your favourite mistake?

H: Because you can still appreciate what used to be, but I also think that one of the things I am most grateful for afterwards is that she motivated me to start taking photos. And that is something that I’ve got so much happiness from. It's given me so much, it’s given me a completely new form for expression that I’ll always be grateful to her for. I’m still very fond of her, but it was, like, when you look back at it, you realise that it wasn’t… it wasn’t “you and me”. And why you really hang onto something like that, that’s for another story.

L: I really appreciate you coming here and sharing your thoughts and your life, Henrik.

H: Yeah, I now feel like it’s been too much sharing going on.

L: You do?

H: I don’t know.

L: No.

H: As long as there won’t be any headlines.

L: There is that…

H: I don’t like headlines.

L: We’ve arrived at Your Score Of Seven.

H: Is it a feature?

L: It is a feature. I’ve made it all by myself.

H: Congratulations.

L: Thank you.

H: Let’s hear it.

L: So my first question for you is, sunrise or sunset.

H: Oh, so this is one of those either or...

L: Exactly. [Henrik sighs] So, sunrise or sunset?

H: Sunrise after you’ve been out partying all through the night.

L: Juice or smoothie?

H: Both?

L: Juice or smoothie.

H: Both.

L: Juice or smoothie

H: Your smoothie, Lamin. Your smoothie. [both laugh]

L: I’m going to have to change that question because it sounds like I’ve put it in just so everyone will say my smoothie. But, okay, my smoothie.

H: Take the compliment.

L: Relive five memories from the past or fast forward five years?

H: Relive five memories from the past. I don’t want to fast forward, I want to… live? I won't be stuck in the past, though? Because I don’t want that either.

L: Ankle socks or tennis socks?

H: Neither. [both laugh] I don’t want either of them.

L: One day without hearing or one day without sight?

H: One day without sight and just sit and listen to records. So just listen, cut out all other senses, lie down on the couch, and listen to all my records.

L: You get the power to decide one universal rule that everyone must follow. What’s the rule?

H: To love yourself.

L: Everyone has to do that?

H: Everyone has to love themselves. I think that would end a lot of the conflicts in the world.

L: The last question, Henrik. You’re going to a desert island, all your primary needs are covered, and you’re allowed to bring just one thing. What thing will you bring?

H: What type of desert island are we talking about? What kind of climate?

L: It’s unknown. But you’re the first person to ask that question. And that’s what I think too, I would need so much more information. But it’s a one way trip, you’re not returning.

H: Is there food there, are there animals there…

L: All your primary needs are met, there’s a bed, there is food, there’s air, you can move around, there’s a toilet, there is water.

H: Right, so it’s up to date. I think I would bring an axe.

L: An axe?

H: Yeah, like, you need to have some tools. That’s what us humans have built our whole civilization on.

L: My last question to you is, what is the soundtrack to the chapter you are at now?

H: Staying Alive by the Bee Gee. [Henrik sings in falsetto] Ah ha ha ha, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive… [laughs]

L: Thank you for coming, Henrik.

H: Thank you. It’s been a pleasure having you taking my virginity.

L: Yeah, just think that this is the first time you’ve done a podcast.

H: You managed to trick me into it.

L: And I’m very happy about it, thank you for coming.

H: You’re welcome.

L: Thank you for today.

H: Thank you.

L: Goodbye.

#skam #henrik holm #my translations #my shit #i am not a natural translater…

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lindsey-laufeyson · 2 years ago

Text

Texts from Tom Hiddleston

Masterlist

35. Impatience

Warnings: fluff, smut, post-op pain

A/N: The majority of this chapter has been in my drafts for about 6 months and I’ve only just finished it… 😳 Sorry I suck!

The next week of celibacy was almost unbearable. Yes, you and Tom had been wanting to consummate your newly rekindled relationship since the moment he appeared at your front door, but once you had gotten a literal taste of what you had been missing, it was like your body had been set aflame. You needed to fuck him, and you could tell he needed to fuck you just as bad. It started the morning after your little fellatious indiscretion when you woke up to Tom’s exceptionally hard morning wood poking you in the back through his boxer shorts.

“Mmmm, good morning,” you said slyly, wiggling slightly against his clothed erection.

He let out a little ‘hmph’ and jerked his hips back, away from your body. “Sweetheart,” he warned, mumbling in your ear. “Last night was lovely, but I think it’s best we don’t test our limits anymore.”

You rolled over to face him. His eyes were still closed, still so sleepy, yet clearly very aroused. “Baby, it doesn’t even hurt anymore,” you insist. “We can take it slow, and I know you can be so gentle.” You brought your hand to his face and softly stroked down his neck, chest, and abs, but he opened his eyes and grabbed your hand before it got too low and brought it up to his lips, kissing your knuckles softly.

“No means no, love,” he said simply. “Now, I need to drop Bobby off at home before I head to rehearsal.” He kissed you on the forehead and got out of bed.

“On a Saturday?” you groaned.

“I’m sorry, darling. I need to make up for the days I missed earlier this week,” he told you as he got dressed. You couldn’t help but stare as he stuffed his erection into his trousers. “And rehearsals will only be getting longer and more frequent as opening night approaches.”

You sat up and sighed. “I know, I get that. Can I come over to your place when you’re done?”

He leaned down to be eye level with you. “Only if you promise to be good,” he teased.

You cupped his face in your hands. “I promise,” you replied softly, giving him a loving kiss on the lips.

“I’ll text you when I’m wrapping up,” he said once the kiss ended. “I love you.”

You smiled broadly, still not used to those words coming from his mouth, no matter how many times he’d said them. “I love you too,” you cooed, and with that he left.

:readmore:

—————————————————————

Tom left your house thankful that he had left when he did. You looked so gorgeous in the morning, your skin glowing in the sunlight, your sleepy expression too adorable for his heart to take, and it took every ounce of self control not to just take you right then and there. It helped that you had been wearing pajamas, but not by much. Your tank top framed your cleavage perfectly and the thin fabric did very little to hide your pert nipples. Then there was last night— your lips wrapped around his cock, the way you expertly moved your tongue— he had forgotten just how good you were at sucking his cock. That being said, he knew that your pussy felt even better than your mouth, and he missed making you cum, hearing you moan and scream. His wandering mind made his drive home excruciating, and when he got in the house, he realized he’d leaked precum through his boxers and trousers. He decided to snap a photo and send it to you.

————————————————————

While Tom was gone at rehearsal, you had no idea what to do with yourself, since all you wanted to do was be with him. You occupied some of the time by taking your dogs out for a long walk and watching some TV (something you were relieved to be able to do again), but when a sex scene came on in the show you were watching, you got all hot and bothered again. That’s when you decided to send some cheeky texts to your boyfriend.

————————————————————

That night, once rehearsal was finally over, Tom texted you the second the director called it a day.

When Tom got home, he quickly showered and got dressed in a comfy v-neck t-shirt and sweatpants, just in time for you to arrive with your pups. He briefly greeted your dogs as they ran in and then pulled you into his arms for a soft and sensual kiss. “Hi,” he greeted you as the kiss ended.

“Hi,” you replied, barely above a whisper. It was so fucking sexy and Tom knew you weren’t even trying.

“How does a movie sound?” he asked, attempting to hide the fact that you were already turning him on and you’d only just got there.

You smiled up at him. “Sounds perfect.” As you took off your coat, Tom couldn’t help but stare at you. You were wearing another thin, low cut, tank top with no bra underneath, and your pajama shorts were so short, he knew he’d get a peak at your ass cheeks if you bent over. He suspected you didn’t have on any panties either, the thought making his cock twitch. When you caught him staring, you giggled. “See something you like?”

Tom’s cheeks flushed a soft pink. “You,” he replied smoothly. “As always.” He pulled you back in for another kiss, this one deeper than the first, but when he felt himself developing a semi, he pulled away. “Why don’t you, uh, pick out a film while I grab some wine for us, yeah?” he suggested, a little flustered.

You smiled at him knowingly. “Take your time,” you replied sweetly, as you turned to make your way to the living room. Tom watched you walk away, then shook himself out of his trance and headed to the kitchen.

When he returned to the living room with a bottle of Bordeaux and two glasses, he found you on one end of the sofa with a blanket over your legs and Bobby on your lap. He smiled as he set the glasses down on the coffee table and poured the wine. “Don’t you two look cozy,” he mused as he handed you your glass.

“He’s my snuggle buddy,” you said, taking the glass from Tom.

He knelt down in front of you to give Bobby a scratch. “You do know, old boy, that you’re going to have to share her,” he told the pup in his adorable dog-dad voice. Bobby simply wagged his tail in response.

“Now boys, there is plenty of me to go around,” you joked.

Tom picked up his glass of wine and turned to you. “Scooch,” he told you.

“There is a whole other end of the couch,” you argued playfully, but still shifting to make room for him. Bobby took it as a cue to move, taking his place on the floor with your two dogs.

Careful not to spill any wine, he snuggled in behind you so that you were sitting between his legs with your back resting against his chest. “This is so much comfier, though,” he purred in your ear before giving you a soft kiss on the neck.

You sighed contentedly. “I can’t argue there.”

As the two of you watched the movie and sipped your wine, Tom paid less and less attention to what was going on on the screen. After he finished his first glass, he realized he hadn’t eaten anything since lunch, so the wine hit him quicker than usual. It was making him feel a bit frisky. He set his empty glass down and wrapped his arms tight around your waist. He dipped his head down and began running the tip of his nose lightly over your neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply and getting even more intoxicated by your natural scent. Upon exhaling, he started softly peppering your neck with kisses. You sighed heavily, causing your chest to rise and fall and drawing Tom’s attention to the area. Your cleavage looked incredible from this angle. His hand wandered from your waist to your breast, cupping it gently and lightly brushing his thumb over your clothed nipple.

You hummed softly as your nipple immediately hardened under his touch. “Tommy,” you warned. “I thought we were going to be good for the rest of the week.”

“But you’re just so irresistible,” he mumbled between more kisses to your neck. You giggled and tilted your head to the side to give him more access. He moved his other hand to your remaining breast and began massaging both of them. You bit your lip and moaned, causing more blood to rush from Tom’s brain to his groin. He wanted to hear more of your beautiful noises. He sucked hard on the crook of your neck as he rolled your nipples between his fingers through your shirt. More soft moans fell from your lips while your body squirmed against his, rubbing against the growing erection in his sweatpants. He grunted against your skin. You bent your knees and spread your legs underneath the blanket before putting your hand over one of his and guiding it down to the waistband of your shorts. “Princess,” he began, just above a whisper.

You leaned your head back and put your lips to his ear. “I want you to feel how wet you’re making me.”

Against his better judgment, Tom slowly slipped his hand into your shorts and grazed his fingertips over your pussy. You were soaked. “Fuck,” he groaned, biting your neck.

You gasped and whined. “Just play with me a little, baby. Please,” you begged as you rolled your hips.

He kissed the bite mark on your neck as he gently began to run his fingers through your wet folds. Every time he touched your clit, a moan would escape your lips and you’d squirm against his excruciatingly hard cock, which was surely staining his sweatpants with precum by now. He started rubbing your clit the way he knew you loved, causing your breathing to become more labored.

“Oh god,” you moaned. “Oh fuck, that’s it!” Tom increased his pressure and speed on your swollen bundle of nerves. “Oh yes… yes… YES!” As you started to cum, Tom swore he could have cum right there, but then you suddenly jerked forward clutching your stomach. “Oh shit! Ouch! Ow ow ow! Ow! Goddamn it! Ow!”

Concern overtook his lust immediately. “Fuck,” he huffed as he leaned forward to try to see your face. “Darling, are you okay? I’m so sorry! What hurts?”

You shook your head. “I’m okay, I just—“ You inhaled sharply and winced. “I didn’t think about the fact that all the muscles around my incisions would contract when I orgasmed.” You chuckled a bit as you said this, but your face still had a pained expression.

“Shit! Do we need to go to the hospital?” he asked, unable to hide the worry in his voice.

“No, no, I’m fine,” you quickly assured him. “As long as the pain goes away in a little while and I don’t start bleeding excessively, I’ll be good.” You gave him a thumbs up as you attempted to smile through the pain.

He gently rubbed your back and looked at you with a mixture of concern and skepticism. “How do you know that?”

You looked at him like a child who’d just been caught breaking the rules. “Because I kind of had something similar happen when I lifted one of the kids at work the other day and called the doctor about it…”

“What?? Why were you exerting yourself like that, and why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, I wasn’t thinking about it when I picked him up! It was just out of habit,” you explained defensively. “And I didn’t tell you because I knew you would panic and then scold me… Kind of like you’re doing now…” You trailed off as you looked at him apologetically.

Taking a deep breath, he knelt on the ground in front of you, reaching up to cup your face in his hand. “I’m not trying to scold you, sweetheart. I just worry about you.”

“And I promise you, I’m—“ You took another sharp breath, then exhaled slowly before finishing your sentence. “I’m fine.”

“Mmhmm,” he replied skeptically as he stood up. “Why don’t you lie down, darling, and I’ll be right back.” He quickly went to get a heating pad, an ice pack, some pain killers, and a glass of water. When he came back, he found you sitting up in the same position he left you in, holding your knees to your chest. He sighed and shook his head. “Stubborn as ever, I see.”

“Oh hush, you. I’m afraid if I move I’ll just anger it,” you told him as you looked down at your aching lower tummy.

He chuckled as he gave you the pills and water and sat down beside you on the sofa. “Come here,” he said, as he carefully scooped you up into his lap. “Now, ice or heat?”

“Ice, please,” you replied quietly. He grabbed the ice pack and placed it on your lower abdomen.

“Better?” he asked. You simply nodded and nuzzled your face into his neck. “Good,” he said, lightly rubbing your back while his other hand gently stroked your legs.

He cradled you like that for the remainder of the movie the two of you had forgotten you were watching, and by the end of it, you had fallen asleep. Careful not to wake you, he removed the now lukewarm ice pack from your lap, lifted you up, and carried you to the bedroom. There he gently laid you down in his bed, tucked you in, and kissed your forehead, before heading back downstairs.

After he cleaned up and got ready for bed, he was relieved to find you still fast asleep. As quietly as he could, he climbed into bed and curled up next to you and just listened to you breathe until he fell asleep too.

TFTH tag list: @darkacademicfrom2021 @lokiprompts @blackwidownat2814 @immersed-in-mischief @anonymousfiction211 @naniky @stars-and-moondust7 @d1a2n389 @maevetriesart @ice-queen-of-music @donttouchmylaevateinn @likeitloveitblogit @tiredmamamac @owldwagitoutofyou @vampire7595 @1marvelnerd3000 @fromasgardandback @pescadoavocado @nadderlover1 @asgardianprincess1050 @apine7 @elenaysusneuras @sleepdeprevedswede @mochie85 @slpnbty2001 @stupidthoughtsinwriting @caleighhiddleston @sleutherclaw @geekwritersworld @violethaze @sweetberry47 @huntress-artemiss @thedistractedagglomeration @kbakery @dryyoursaltyoceantears @hayden429

#tom hiddleston #original content #texts from tom hiddleston #tfth #tom hiddleston fluff #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston x female reader #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston smut #tom hiddleston angst #tom hiddleston texts

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modelbus · 2 years ago

Note

Tommyinnit x masc nb reader where they don't try to hide their relationship from the internet, but at the same time refuse to confirm nor deny it.

Like...they have pictures online of them on dates, wearing each others clothes, in each other's background during stream, etc, etc. The evidence is right there??? But they don't confirm it. Matter of fact, they don't even "know who that ugly mug in the picture is".

Wilbur is the first one to leak their relationship tho, woops.

”whoops” killed me. Also, look at my funny little guy in the photo! It felt fitting.

Pairing: CC!Tommyinnit x Nb!Reader (romantic)

Evading Evidence

Tommy’s streaming when you get tired of scrolling through Twitter. Normally you’re able to sit on his bed, just out of sight of his camera, and catch up on all the drama. It’s been a quiet few days though, so you’re already bored.

“I’m going to run to the store real quick.” You say, getting up.

Tommy turns, neither of you acknowledging the stream. Chat’s going crazy about the fact you were there the entire thirty minutes Tommy’s been live for, and possibly longer.

Despite the fact you and Tommy were dating, neither of you had let the internet know yet. Sure, there were pictures and Tweets and remarks basically confirming it, but both of you were careful never to say it outright. At this point it was almost a game.

“Oh, can you get me twin gummy snakes?” Tommy asks, practically begging you with his eyes.

“Why would I do that?”

“Because I need fuel and you love me?”

You consider it for a second before giving in. “Fine. I’ll be back in, like, ten minutes.”

“Thanks! Don’t get run over!”

“Why would I- never mind.”

Tommy doesn’t turn back towards the stream until after he hears you leave, shutting the door behind you. It’s only then that he takes notice of the chat freaking out over his words.

“Chat, what the fuck are you talking about? They don’t love me. Actually, I don’t have a clue who the fuck that was!” He exclaims. “Back to Minecraft.”

“Hey, is this okay to post?” Jack Manifold asks, practically shoving his phone into your face.

You take it, examining the Twitter draft. It’s a selfie he took before the filming of the latest Tom Simons vlog. Behind him you can barely see you and Tommy curled up on the couch together, looking at something. The photo is captioned “Tom Simons vlog done.”

“Sure. Tommy?” You ask, handing the phone over to him.

He barely takes a look at it. “Yeah.”

“Thanks!” Jack says cheerfully, immediately posting.

“Time to fight the stans like our lives depend on it.” You joke, already opening Twitter and navigating to Jack’s profile.

“It’s fucking funny.” Tommy laughs.

“Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. What’re you tweeting?”

“I’ll reply to yours.” He leans over to watch you type out your reply, reading it aloud. “'Not Jack photoshopping the background'.”

“Are you two ever going to tell the internet?” Jack asks, laughing a little.

“Oh, the internet definitely knows. They just chose to believe us when we lie to their faces.” You answer.

“I’m replying ‘incredibly disrespectful.’” Tommy announces. You get the notification of his reply right after he says it.

“Don’t get me canceled.” Jack sighs.

“No promises.”

"Why are you talking about Tommy so much?" A donation asks.

You were doing a just chatting stream, spilling some fun stories. A few of them had been dates with Tommy, but you didn't call them dates. Chat still had their suspicions though.

"Because I hate him." You deadpan, staring into your camera. "Worst person ever, kill all Tommyinnits."

It barely takes a second for the chat to react to your words, thousands of people calling you a liar. As your eyes flick through messages, one catches your eye.

"Why are you wearing his hoodie then, hm?" Gets read aloud. "Well, you see, it simply isn't his. This very clearly branded Tommyinnit hoodie? Mine."

It's merch of his that hadn't shipped yet, his name displayed across your chest. The only possible way for you to have some would be him giving you some or you stealing his. One guess as to what you did.

Yeah, you took his.

"I have the fastest shipping in the world guys, you have to believe me."

Nobody believes you. It's not even the first time you've worn his clothes, just the first you've worn them on stream. Maybe you should've been a little more careful, but oh well. Who really cares anyways? The game was fun, but not too serious.

"Besides, as if I'd ever wear something Tom fucking Simons tainted with his gremlin hands." It's a fun little jab, one you know he'll hear about later. Probably from Twitter.

"Hey!" Tommy yells from somewhere in the flat.

Or maybe he'll hear about it right that second. He must be watching your stream, making you smile.

"Sorry." You say it in a way that clearly shows you don't mean the apology, laughing to yourself a little. After running a hand through your hair, you speak again. "Did I tell you guys about how I almost killed a person by riding a bike the other day?"

Of course, all jokes eventually end. This one just happens to meet its death in Wilbur's hands, live on stream.

“We’re out, we’ll see you tomorrow for the vlog.” Tommy says, pulling you to your feet.

It’s been over an hour of being on Wilbur’s stream, stuck in his little cramped office. One person was fine, two could fit, but three was just too much. Besides, you knew Tommy’s limit was an hour.

“Have a good stream!” You tell Wilbur cheerfully, shutting the door before he gets the chance to say goodbye. To make up for it, he waves.

“And there go the lovers.” Wilbur jokes to his stream, putting himself back into the middle of the frame now you and Tommy are gone. “Off to do whatever they do.”

It barely takes a minute for chat to explode, making Wilbur realize exactly what he just did. His face drains of color as he sits up.

“Shit- fuck. It was a joke, guys. A joke.”

Like a dog with a bone, chat’s already taken his words and ran with them. Wilbur’s fuck up is beyond repair. Instead of digging himself a deeper grave, he just messages you and Tommy.

You’re both back in his office in a matter of seconds, having sprinted back down the corridor. It wasn’t that you were upset, more just panicked. This definitely wasn’t how you meant to confirm it.

“Well… shit.” Tommy finally speaks, just off camera. “You’ve leaked it Wil.”

“I didn’t fucking mean to!”

“We should leak something about you in return.” You joke.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to!” Wilbur quickly defends himself.

Tommy pokes his head into the camera frame to address chat, grinning to show he isn’t pissed at Wilbur at all. You laugh, waiting to see what he’ll say.

“Oi, chat, you’re all fucking dumb. Took you lot long enough.”

Wilbur sags with visible relief, glad neither of you are going to kill him for his slip-up. Now that it’s established he didn’t ruin everything, it’s a lot funnier.

“We’re going to miss the movie showing.” You announce, checking your phone for the time.

“Fuck. Bye again.” Tommy laughs as you drag him out the door.

When the door shuts, Wilbur laughs and shakes his head. “Whoops?”

#tommyinnit mcyt #tommyinnit x you #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit #mcyt #dsmp #tommyinit dsmp #tommyinnit imagine #mcyt imagine

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jerzwriter · 1 year ago

Text

As Planned

Back in December, I posted This Christmas, when Ethan spontaneously (and ringlessly) proposed to Kaycee while shopping for a Christmas tree. Now, I HC that the ring isn't terribly important to either of them... and with their busy lives, it's not at the top of their to-do list. But after an engagement photo shoot without the "real" ring (Picture This), and Kaycee's mom expressing her concern (Patience), it begins to bother Ethan.

This fic begins as Ethan and Kaycee are in NY, preparing to attend his med school buddy Reynaldo's wedding. As they're getting ready, they learn Kaycee's first boyfriend, Tomas, and his girlfriend, Alessandra, have gotten married. Then Ethan's plan goes into motion. I hope you enjoy this!

Book: Open Heart (Post Series)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Kaycee MacClennan)

Rating: Teen

Words: 2,170

Summary: Above

A/N: Participating in @choicesjunechallenge Proposal

Kaycee put her phone down, a silly, delightful grin spreading on her cheeks. A glance at the clock confirmed she was running ahead of schedule, so she could allow herself time to appreciate this moment. Moving to the hotel suite’s window, she drew back the ornate drapes and peered down at the busy city below. The irony was just delicious.

Tomas, her dear friend and first true love, was married, and she found herself in the city where their love story had taken place. No more than ten blocks from the campus, where they met, fell in love, and spent three years dreaming of the beautiful future they hoped to create until the day they painfully accepted that it wasn’t going to be. She was within walking distance of his old apartment, where they shared their last goodbye as lovers, not knowing what the future would hold. If she thought about it long enough, she was sure she could still recall the pain. The hollow ache in her chest that never seemed to heal. How it crept up each time she tried to fall in love again, a reminder of the pain that was just waiting on the other side of this new, beautiful thing. It sabotaged her more than once, of that she was sure… until, one day, it didn’t.

Ethan was different from the start, and for the longest time, she didn’t understand why. With all the obstacles they faced and all the mountains they had to climb, she never hesitated. Even knowing the hole in her heart could widen enough to engulf her if she lost him, she persevered. And now, as her fiance dressed in the next room, she knew why. In Ethan, she found her home, the place she was always meant to be. As dusk began to fall, the city Kaycee loved so well became illuminated by a million glistening lights, and she smiled. Tomas had found his forever love, Kaycee found hers, and their friendship was as strong as ever. Perhaps this is what it feels like when the puzzle pieces fall in place, and everything works according to plan.

She was making her way back to the vanity; after all, she had a wedding to get to when Ethan entered the room, looking more serious than she would have expected, given the occasion.

“I’m almost done,” she smiled, running a brush through her long, blonde hair. “I promised you I won’t make us late this time.”

“It’s fine,” Ethan smiled softly. “To be honest, I thought you were already done. You look… you’re breathtaking.”

Kaycee blushed and tilted her head in his direction. “So you approve of the retro hair?” she grinned. “I wanted to try something different, and since I’m wearing a vintage dress….”

“It’s beautiful. Timeless… just like you.”

Her skin all but tingled when he leaned over and placed a tender kiss on the crook of her neck.

“Now, Ethan, I’m not done with my makeup, and if you keep that up….”

“No,” he said, walking to a nearby settee. “Come, sit with me.”

Her brow furrowed, concern growing. “Is everything OK?”

“Yes,” he assured as she sat on his lap. “Have you seen Instagram?”

“You mean Tomas? I have! Isn’t that wonderful news? I’m so happy for them!”

“Are you?” Ethan asked. “I know you’re good friends, but he carried a torch for you for a long time.”

She brushed off the notion with a shake of her head.

“Held. Past tense. From the day he met Alessandra, I knew she was the one for him, and so did he! Eloping in Greece? That is the most Tomas thing I have ever heard! I’m delighted for them. And now, we get to attend your friend Reynaldo’s wedding! This is such a romantic day!”

“Yes, that it is,” Ethan smiled, but Kaycee knew him well, and she saw that smile never reached his eyes.

“I know you’re not exactly a Hallmark movie kind of guy, but you’ve acknowledged it’s a romantic day… so why do you look so… glum?”

Ethan visibly swallowed before taking her face in his hands. “You’re not disappointed… are you? I know I didn’t always make things easy for us. I mean… Tomas met and married Alessandra in half the time we’ve been together. I just hope you’re not disappointed.”

“Ethan Ramsey! Stop it!” She playfully smacked his chest. “Every couple is different. We all have our own rhythm and face unique obstacles. Alessandra and Tomas didn’t have some of the complexities we faced in our relationship… and… well, we all bring our own histories. This is how it worked for them… and this is how it works for us. All I know is that I couldn’t be happier with my fiance.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled sadly. “Your fiance. Your fiance who asked you to marry him seven months ago, yet we haven’t even set a date. You still don’t have a ring on your finger.”

Kaycee reached over and pulled Ethan’s gold signet ring off of her end table. “Oh, really? I beg to differ!”

“That was supposed to be temporary,” he sighed. “It isn’t your engagement ring.”

Kaycee held the ring close to her heart, appearing almost hurt by his words.

“Ethan Ramsey, I don’t think you’ll ever understand just how precious this ring is to me. No other ring… no ridiculously overpriced bauble you could ever purchase will mean as much to me as this ring does.”

“I know that,” he smiled tenderly, and something about him changed.

“I’ve been trying to decide on a ring for you…,” he started. “In fairness, your lack of input on what you’d like hasn’t made it particularly easy.”

“I’m not here to make your life easy,” she teased. “But seriously, the ring just isn’t that important to me….”

“I’ve talked to Sienna about it at length.”

A broad smile came to Kaycee’s face. He was smart; Sienna was the way to go! She probably knew what Kaycee would want in a ring more than Kaycee knew herself.

“And?”

“And all we’ve ascertained so far is that if I purchase anything ostentatious, you’re likely to kill me.”

Kaycee burst into laughter, see, Sienna was the right move!

“That’s my bestie! She’s not wrong. Not only would it be an obscene waste of money, but it would also be impractical. I’m a doctor. And I’dwant to wear my ring every day. I can’t exactly do that if you buy me some boulder.”

“I understand all of that. But can you understand why that’s difficult for me? When you attain a certain amount of… success… there are expectations. If I don’t go all out,” he said, pouring a glass of bourbon for himself and offering one to Kaycee. “… I feel like if I do less than, I’ll be judged. We’ll be judged.”

“By whom?” she shot back, taking the seat at his side. “And do we suddenly care about what anyone else thinks? Ethan, eloping to Greece was the right thing for Tomas and Alessa. That makes me happy. I want us to do what’s right for Ethan and Kaycee. I don’t care what others think.”

“I know,” he said, taking her hand. “But it got me thinking….”

“Always dangerous,” Kaycee smirked.

“May I continue?”

“Of course,” she smiled, then coquettishly sipped her drink.

“I started to think about the couples I’ve known throughout my lifetime. Now, you know I’ve always been a pessimist about love, and I’ve blamed my family history. Terrible examples and all… but I realized… the pessimism was my own doing. Sure, my parent’s marriage wasn’t happy or healthy. But they weren’t the only example I had. My father’s parents, my Nana Emma and Pop-Pop John, they had a beautiful marriage. They always loved each other above all else. They came from simple means but built a beautiful life together; they had two beautiful children and adored each other until their final days. So, I always had an example of what a marriage should be. I just… I just chose to focus on the bad. It was just my own fear blinding me.”

Kaycee put her drink to the side and pulled Ethan close in her arms. Kissing the side of his head as she held him closer.

“Well, you’re not there anymore… and I’m so proud of you. You finally see that you deserve that love, that happiness, too. I’m so honored that I’m the one you’ve decided to share it with. I wish I could have known your grandparents. I would love it if you and Alan could tell me more about their story.”

“I’d like that too,” he smiled, tears in his eyes. “And if it’s all right with you, I’d like it to begin right now…

Kaycee’s eyes widened as Ethan slipped off the settee and rested on one knee on the floor.

“Ethan, what are you….”

He removed a pink velvet ring box from his pocket, opening it to expose a simple, beautiful art deco ring inside.

“Ethan?” Kaycee gasped.

“Like I said, they didn’t have much money, and according to my father, Pop-Pop began saving for this ring on their second date. He knew she was the one, so he put away everything he could for two years to purchase this. They never had much money, but they were the richest people I’ve ever known, rich in all the ways that mattered. Before you came into my life, I was the epitome of success, but at the same time, I was impoverished. I was walking through this life alone, and outside of work, it was devoid of meaning. I had more wealth than my grandparents could have ever dreamed of, but they were far, far richer than I ever thought I could be. You helped me change that, Kaycee, and if I lost every penny I had tomorrow, I’d still be the richest man alive as long as you are by my side. So, I realized there was no ring I could buy you. The only ring worthy of sitting on your finger was at my father’s house, and when I asked him if I could have it… for you… he honestly cried. So, Kaycee MacClennan, I’m asking you once again, with my grandmother’s ring… will you be my wife? Am I lucky enough to have you say yes… twice?”

Kaycee bit her trembling lip as she fought to stay in the moment, for she knew it was one she’d treasure all her life. But as she looked down at Ethan, gazing at her with all the love in the world, the precious, precious ring in hand, it was hard for her to believe this wasn’t a dream.

“You know!” She finally sobbed, wiping away the tears on her face. “My makeup was almost done… and now… now… I’m breaking my promise, and I am going to make us late.”

“I think I’ll give you a pass,” Ethan winked. “As long as you answer the question right. What do you say?”

“Of course!” She beamed. “Yes! Of course, I’ll marry you. Just try to stop me!”

Ethan’s chest was filled with pride as he slipped the beautiful ring onto his bride-to-be’s finger, then the two collapsed into each other’s arms. After a moment, Kaycee lifted her hand to admire her new treasure and kissed Ethan’s cheek.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I lied to you before.”

“About?” He asked, a hint of astonishment in his voice.

“I said there wasn’t another ring that could mean more to me than the one you gave me, but… this… look at you proving me wrong.”

Ethan pulled back, keeping Kaycee firmly under one arm; he lifted her hand.

“It looks perfect on you… just like it did on Nana. It was meant to be.”

“Just like you and me,” she sighed. “I love you, Ethan Ramsey.”

“And I love you. I love you so, so much.”

“We have Nana and Pop-Pop love,” she giggled.

“Yes, we do!”

Their lips met in a passionate kiss, any remainders of Kaycee’s makeup now firmly a thing of the past.

“So we’re engaged!” He grinned.

“We’ve been engaged!”

“Yes, but now your mother will accept that it’s official.”

“I can’t wait to show her!” Kaycee squealed. “I can’t wait to show everyone!!”

“Oh, that reminds me,” Ethan grabbed his phone and snapped a picture of Kaycee’s hand.

“What are you doing?” she laughed.

“What? Do you think Tomas is the only one allowed to post today? I’m letting the world know you said yes… a second time.”

“You do that,” she grinned. “I’m calling room service, this bourbon is lovely, but this calls for champagne!”

As Kaycee turned to look at Ethan, glowing as he typed away on his phone, she no longer questioned it. This was precisely how it felt when the puzzle pieces fell into place, and everything had worked out better than she… better than anyone… could have predicted.

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