#I promise I’ll stop talking exclusively about him

[orrsoared]

Sway in those glasses?

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | wolfstar x reader

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 8.1 K Warnings: Graphic descriptions of violence. (Reader discretion is advised). Prompt: Turns out werewolf scratches make you more than just hungry for food. This IS a wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it.

Chapter 23: Hungry Eyes

November 24th, 1976 

“You want more sausages?” James asked as he grabbed another one from the plate. You nodded in response. 

“That’s like the 5th one,” Peter said surprised, not because of the sausages exclusively, you had devoured your breakfast, a huge plate of bacon and eggs, a slice of Sheppard’s pie, and a couple of pieces of meat. James thought that was a little odd, since you always went for sweet stuff, rather than salty things, especially on breakfast, but since he had accidentally hurt you earlier, he was ready to give you just about any food you asked for. 

You nodded “Yeah I know,” you said as you took another bite of your bacon. “I don’t get it either, It’s like I’m starving, I could eat a hippogriff.” 

“Could it be because of the scratch?” Sirius said as he put his tea cup down. 

“The scratch?” James asked. 

“Yeah, Moony’s scratch.” 

“But you’ve gotten scratched by Moony and I’ve never seen you like this,” he said pointing at you. 

“Oi, watch your mouth Potter!” you said as you side eyed the boy.

Sirius shook his head “Padfoot has gotten scratches, not me,” he clarified “And I’ve definitely felt the hunger, in more than one way.” 

Your head snapped towards the boy, your eyes going up and down his face, trying to describe his expression “Does that mean– does that mean I’m this hungry because… lycanthropy?” 

Peter shrugged “It’s possible… Do you by any chance feel the urge to bite one of us?” 

You looked at the boy with a bit of a confused expression, the image of you biting Sirius’ neck on the Restricted Section floating in your head before you could control it, you swallowed. “No,” you managed to respond. 

“Then we’re good,” the boy said with a smile “Should go away in a couple of days.” 

You cleared your throat, “Yeah, hopefully,” you added and took a bite of your sausage. “Do you think Remus’s really hungry all the time too?” 

“Not always,” said James thoughtfully “but when he gets snappy close to the moon, food makes him feel better.”

“And after?” 

“He likes chocolate,” Sirius responded. 

“Yeah… I kinda figured that one out earlier on,” you said with a little smile “I meant, do you think he wants… meat too?” 

James shrugged, “Maybe, I’ve never asked.” 

“But surely you would’ve noticed.”

“It’s James you’re talking about, luv. He wouldn’t have noticed,” Sirius said. 

“You’re being overly aggressive towards me today,” James huffed, your boyfriend shrugged in response. 

“We should take him some meat,” you said, snapping both boys from their bickering “If he’s half as hungry as I am, he needs some meat.” 

“We’ve got charms next, though.” 

“I can go and come before charms,” you said confidently, “and I want to go to the bathroom too so…” 

“You sure, want us to come with?” James asked. 

“Nah, nah… you boys keep eating and save a good seat for me.” 

“Yes, boss!” Peter joked. 

You rolled your eyes but smiled, leaning in to pick your backpack up, but Sirius stopped you, grabbing it himself. You tried to pull it again but he didn’t budge “What’s with you?” 

“I’ll take it, you don’t need any strains on your shoulders at the moment.” 

You gave him an incredulous look “Sirius I can carry my own bag, even with the thing.” 

“I’m not saying you can't, sweetheart. I’m saying you don’t have to,” he said softly, “Go on and do your thing, I’ll bring your bag to the class.” 

“You sure about that?” you asked again. 

“Ugh, just let him do the boyfriend thing,” James said as he pushed you lightly, this time being careful not to graze your arm “Don’t you see he’s trying?” 

You looked at Sirius surprised “Is that what...” You saw a tinge of red spread across his cheeks, and you raised your eyebrows, “Awww Puppy that’s so sweet of you.” 

Sirius looked to the side for a second, almost letting the embarrassment get to him but then he turned back at you with a little smirk “Don’t I get a kiss for it?” 

You smiled, looking at him as you bit your lip in amusement and narrowed your eyes at the boy, but complied, leaning in to give him a small peck on the forehead, before turning around to pick up the plate with food you had prepared for Remus. 

“That’s not the kind of kiss I was expecting little Vixen,” Sirius teased. 

“Guess it sucks for you, doesn’t it Puppy?” You teased back with a little wink, while James burst out into a laugh. “Save my seat, all right?” you said just before walking towards the doors. 

You went straight to the infirmary, sneaking in without making much noise, but Madam Pomfrey spotted you as you were walking in, “Hi sweetheart,” she said with a smile “You’ve come for Remus again?” 

“I have class, but I thought he might be feeling a little hungry so I brought this over,” you said raising the plate just a little “It’s not against doctor’s orders, is it?” 

“Not at all, darling,” she responded. “I was just about to call for a house elf to get his breakfast, it’s very kind of you to bring it.” 

You handed the plate to the Mediwitch and then looked towards the section at the end, the curtains were still wrapped around the bed Remus was in, “May I see him?” 

She shook her head, the same frown as earlier “I’m afraid he’s still asleep sweetheart, why don’t you come back later?” 

You sighed “Is he really? Well, I guess I’ll get to class then,” you said as you turned your heel, but turned straight back “Oh, please give this to him too,” you said taking out a bar of chocolate from your robe’s pocket “He really likes this one.” 

The witch nodded, “Will do darling.” 

You waved your goodbyes and left the room, as you did the Mediwitch approached Remus’ section and opened the curtains, looking at the boy expectantly “You should stop avoiding the poor girl,” she told him sternly as she placed the chocolate bar on his side table “She’s clearly worried for you.” 

Remus didn’t answer, he just cleared his throat a little. 

“Don’t act like a child Remus, you always seem to be better off when she’s around, you even sleep better,” she continued, “at least Mr. Black came to visit you last night, and you didn’t avoid him.” 

“If she comes back, tell her I’m still asleep, okay?” he said, still avoiding her gaze.

“She’s not stupid, she will know something’s up.” 

Finally, Remus turned to the woman, a distressed expression on his features “Please,” he pleaded. 

The woman shook her head disapprovingly and pointed towards the food “She brought you food and your favourite chocolate. You should at least write her a thank you note.”

Remus looked to the side, staring at the bar of chocolate the woman had left. It really was his favourite kind of chocolate, and it made his stomach churn. He didn’t deserve you as a friend, not only because of the way he desired you beyond belief –even if you were with Sirius, who he also liked– but because he could’ve killed you a couple of nights ago. Your friendship had to end before the damage was irreparable. 

Remus was being completely irrational, but he didn’t care much for rationality at this point. He turned on his bed, back to the nightstand and sighed, shutting his eyes as he felt some strain on his ribs from the sharp movement. He was holding back angry tears, angry for not being a normal bIoody person with normal bIoody problems. Angry for being a monster that made their friends go through dangerous situations. Angry because he knew that Moony’s intentions had never been to kill you, no, Moony wanted to bite you.

You were back at the girl’s bathroom, you had taken your robe, uniform sweater and shirt off, and you were staring at your bandaged arm in the mirror when Myrtle’s face popped right over your reflection, which startled you a little, “Told you it was a dangerous night,” she said proudly. 

You scoffed “If you knew the Slytherins were out you could’ve warned me,” you said angrily.

“I told you, you weren’t the only one roaming the castle,” she said with a shrug as she sat down on the sink. 

You shook your head, “being a bit more specific wouldn’t have hurt,” you said as you raised your bandage to check on the wound. It looked a little better than the previous night.

She shrugged again “Would I have actually deterred you from going?” 

You looked to the side as you fastened the edge of the bandage again “Probably not,” you admitted. 

“Yeah, I figured,” she said simply “Did you find the thing you went looking for, before getting attacked? Or… are you going back to the forest next full moon?” 

“I did get it,” you said, now a little proud, putting your shirt back on.

“Well, mission accomplished, and you didn’t lose any limbs so…” 

You half laughed at their stupid joke, “pleasure talking to you Myrtle,” you said as you finished putting on your sweater and tie, taking your robe in between your hands, and walking out. 

“Come back soon,” the ghost replied. “I might have some gossip for you then.” 

You turned back to look at her, narrowing your eyes as she simply floated slightly over the floor, with a tight-lipped smile, a hand behind her back and the other one waving goodbye at you. You knew what she wanted, she wanted you to stay and get the gossip out of her, “I’ve got to get to class,” you told her. 

She shrugged, “I said later,” she smiled, still waving goodbye. 

You shook your head diverted but continued on your way out, as you walked to Charms, you put your robe back on and then felt your stomach churn again “What the bIoody fuck?,” you whispered as you looked down “How can I be hungry again?” 

You ignored the churning and walked straight to Charms. Sirius was at one of the double tables, and he had placed your backpack on the seat beside him, he smiled when he spotted you and moved your bag to the floor, you sat down beside him “How’s he?” he asked. 

You shook your head “Still asleep,” you replied, “Pomfrey didn’t let me see him either.” 

Sirius frowned, Remus had rarely slept so much, not even after the moon. And he had seen the boy earlier, he didn’t look so bad he’d have to sleep, maybe Pomfrey had given him some other kinds of potions along with the Skellegro. 

You looked at Sirius’ thoughtful expression and pressed your thumb over his eyebrows “What is it Puppy?” 

That seemed to snap him out of his thoughts, “Nothing, how’s the arm?” 

You tilted your head a little, still admiring your boyfriend before responding “A lot better actually,” you said honestly “I actually went to check, it’s healing now.” 

Sirius let out a relieved breath, “that’s great,” he smiled and pulled his hand up to grab yours, intertwining his fingers with your own and leaning his head a little into your palm. “You’re cold.” 

“Washed my hands earlier,” you said simply. Sirius was about to say something when Flitwick entered the classroom with a bag in his hand and a set of books trailing behind him, once he left the bag on the floor he flicked his wand and the books floated towards all the students, one for each table, which meant you’d be sharing with Sirius.  When the book was right in front of the two, Sirius separated your intertwined hands and used them to pull your chair closer to his. 

You shook your head at his antics but smiled either way. The class went on smoothly, you had to practise a couple of new spells on the book, but it was all too easy for the two of you, which is why you had spent most of the class just stealing glances at the other. You imagined if you had been the one watching the two of you, you would’ve probably averted your gaze. It’s not that you were openly showing the PDA, but it was evident in your giggles and whispering about. On the way, Sirius held your hand and brushed his shoulder against your good one. Maybe you really were Love Puppies.

“Are you still hungry?” he asked as the class finished. 

You nodded in response, still feeling your stomach churn, “Wanna get some food before transfiguration?”

“McGonall will be mad if we get there late.”

Sirius shrugged, so carelessly that it made you smile “She secretly loves us.” 

You scoffed “I highly doubt that, you’re always messing around and I’m shit at transfiguration.” 

“You’re not that bad, you turn into Vixen gracefully.” You shook your head again, a smile playing on your lips. “So… food?” 

You took a deep breath and nodded “Yeah, food.” 

Sirius and you took a detour to the kitchens, Nimbletwist wasn’t there at the time, but another elf was more than happy to help the two of you with some treats. A small paper bag with mixed nuts, raisins and bits of chocolate and a couple of bite-sized sandwiches you could easily fit into your robe. You had already eaten around three of those by the time you got to Transfiguration. 

McGonagall eyed you compassionately as she noticed you were eating a piece of chocolate. You frowned, but quickly remembered Lily had told her you were on your period so you smiled instead, nodding a little with a thankful expression, she let you both enter the class, and you ended up sitting on the table next to the one Lily and Marlene shared. 

“Told you she loves us,” Sirius said with a little smirk.

“That’s definitely not it,” you said as you plopped a pecan into your mouth, it was a little salty, but it was definitely good enough to quench your unfaltering hunger. 

The class came and went, you managed to turn a teapot into a small squirrel once, after hundreds of tries. Sirius had already done it way too many times and he was attempting to help, but he wasn’t really good at teaching Transfigurations. 

“Come on, just wave your wand and say the words.” 

You turned to him exasperated as you shook your wand in the air “Sirius I’m waving my wand and saying the words, it doesn’t work!”

“Just do it calmly.” 

“I AM doing it calmly!” you said, and he threw you a look, which had you huff in return. 

“Black and company,” McGonagall said sternly “You either stop your bickering or I will switch your seats.” 

You swallowed thickly and nodded, Sirius on the other hand, placed his chin over his hand and stared at McGonagall with a teasing smile, giving her a wink before turning back at you, you almost smacked him for that, but he gave you his stupid charming Sirius Black grin and you barely managed to roll your eyes. You definitely were Love Puppies. 

When the class was over, Lily leaned over to you “Hey Luv, you mind coming with me to pick out some ingredients for potions?” 

Sirius gave the redhead a look, the kinda face that said “You shouldn’t make her walk more than necessary” and Evans retorted with a look and a gentle hand over your injured shoulder, clearly stating something like “I’m going to take her to fucking change her bandaged you idiot”. 

“Righ, you should go,” Sirius said then, pushing you lightly towards Lily while she pulled on your hand. You felt like you were being manhandled, but said nothing of it, and just followed the redhead along. 

“I’ll tag with you,” said Beth, as she stood up. 

“No!” Sirius stopped her “We actually need to talk about the lack of birthday party I had.” 

“After the Halloween Party fiasco there was no way in hell we made yours Sirius,” she said. 

“I’m aware,” he smiled wickedly “but that doesn’t mean we can’t do one now, if you know what I mean.” 

Beth smiled wickedly and Lily pulled you towards the door while Sirius distracted her. In a matter of minutes the two of you were back at the common room and walking up towards your empty room, “How are you feeling?” 

“Wicked!” you replied with a smile “It’s not every day you get first class healthcare.” 

Lily rolled her eyes but started unwrapping the bandage, gently cleaning the wound before starting to reapply the paste. “It does look better,” she said as she continued with her task. 

You nodded “Feels a lot better too.”

Her hands were light, and her movements were quick, and calculated as if she knew exactly what step she was going to go next, you were looking at the way she did almost completely in trance, if you were good at flying, Lily was brilliant at caring for injuries, it almost surprised you it was Mary and not her who wanted to become a Mediwitch. 

“Have you taken your medicine?” She asked, stealing you away from your thoughts, you nodded, showing her all the small vials you had placed in the pocket of your robe, “Good.” 

“We need to actually pick some ingredients up,” you said as you started to put your shirt back on. 

Lily nodded and went to her trunk, taking out a few potions from it “Already thought of it,” she said with a smile. 

You smiled back, grabbed a couple of them between your hands and started walking towards the dungeons. You arrived sooner than later and the two of you went straight into the classroom. She took a seat beside James and you turned to your lonely table. You started gathering the ingredients for the potion you would be working on when Professor Slugnorn approached your table “Oh dear, Mr. Lupin is still recovering, isn’t he?”

You nodded “Indeed, but I’m sure I can mana–“ 

“–No, not with this potion, I’m afraid not. But it’s your lucky day, as it seems someone else has also lost their partner today. Mr. Rosier, would you mind moving your things over here?” he said, turning to the boy. 

You instantly stiffened, Sirius stood from the stool he was lousily sitting on and James stood straighter, Lily looked at you with her breath hitched and even Peter stared at Evan intently. “I’m sure I can manage sir–” 

“Nonsense, Evan will make a fine partner for today’s class,” he said, shutting you down instantly. 

You swallowed and followed the blonde boy with your gaze as he sat down on the stool beside you gracefully, looking like a completely civil person who didn’t hate your guts. Like he hadn’t dug his fingers so harshly in your skin less than 72 hours ago that he left bruises behind. 

You were still tense, jaw clenching as you continued measuring ingredients, “You look delightful sweetheart,” you cringed, still not turning your eyes to him. The way he said it –mockingly, disdainfully– sounded so different from the way Sirius said it, like it was an entirely different word. “Considering…” 

You held back a scoff, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, slowly turning to him, pretending to be completely unbothered, you could feel your friend’s eyes on you “Couldn’t say the same thing for you,” you responded, making sure to add a cold smile in the end “don’t tell me it still hurts where I accidentally elbowed you.” 

Evan scoffed, narrowing his eyes at you, not failing to notice the fact that you had added “accidentally” as if it really hadn’t been your intention. “It’s fine, thanks for your concern… How was your night then?” he asked viciously. 

“Invigorating,” you responded as you poured some ingredients inside your cauldron. “I was surprised you didn’t stay and enjoyed the show.” 

He gave you a spiteful look “As if you didn’t know why we left.” 

“What? Were you lot actually afraid of the ghosts?! I’m sure we could’ve had a very nice tea party with the undead, 3 am is their tea time, you know?” 

He frowned, you really didn’t know. “Your jinx,” he said “Something stung Mulciber and he passed out, that’s why he’s not here.” 

That actually sprung a genuinely satisfied smile “Aaaah… so that’s why you were paired up with me then, your henchmen’s bedridden,” you mocked. 

Evan’s fists tightened but he took a deep breath again, she’s bold, he thought. You had the sharpest tongue he’d ever seen, looking at him daringly as if you had no fear, just like that night. If you had been sorted into Slytherin, you might have made an excellent ally, perhaps even a friend. Regardless, he retorted  “As if you’re much better, I can clearly see your parted lip, and…” He leaned over “I wonder if you have any bruises under your robe.” 

An idea popped into your head, probably a stupid one, but you knew it would piss him off “Well, well Evan, and here I thought you were dating Barty, I’m certain he wouldn’t be pleased if he heard that you’re not only looking at my lips but also thinking of me naked.” 

He was taken aback by your daring answer, his nose flared, and his knuckles turned white, you stood straight, looking at his hand as you took a slow breath, he then moved closer to you, pretending to reach for an ingredient on the other side of the table, when he grabbed your arm –your hurt arm– harshly, as harshly as he had grabbed your neck. You ground your teeth against each other to hold back a cry. Even if the pain was excruciating, even if you wanted to jump back and hide in the cold rock again, you limited yourself to breathing slowly. You were not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing you were hurt, of knowing you had pretty much clung to Sirius for almost an entire day after because you were too terrified of how weak you had been. 

He leaned in, mouth close enough to your ear to whisper “If you tell a single sentient thing about that, you will wish we had killed you that night instead,” he spoke, words laced with venom. 

You blinked a couple of times, staring at his blond hair completely shocked for a second, managing to recover a second later, as he was pulling away, you had already shut your mouth but you were still staring at the boy, the pain in your arm long forgotten as gears inside your head turned, you had said as a joke but… Rosier really is dating Barty Crouch, your own voice resonated inside your head. 

He released his grip on your arm and brushed over your cloak to smooth it out, the pain was still there, you were sure he had drawn bIood, but you limited yourself to stare at him. Out of all the things you’d expected to be Evan’s weakness, you did not think it would be something you wouldn’t use against him. There was a line you wouldn’t cross, and outing him and Barty was way beyond the other side, no matter how awful they both were. 

That didn’t mean you wouldn’t use the opportunity to taunt him “Don’t worry Rosier, I wouldn’t dream of it,” you replied, sarcastically, smiling wickedly before turning back to your potion. You saw Evan flinch out of the corner of your eye. Which made your smile widen, you rolled your shoulder and held back a wince as you used your good arm to continue working on the potion. 

Neither you nor Evan talked to each other after that, you silently passed the ingredients, measured and mixed everything in the cauldron together. When you were about to be done, Professor Slughorn approached you, a pleased look on his face “Would you look at that?” he said pointing at your hand as you poured the mixture into a vial “May I?” he asked, you handed him the vial and he took it in between his hands, bringing it close to his face to revise it “You both have done a splendid job, seems like you two work together seamlessly, perhaps you should consider switching partners, you make an excellent pair.” 

You saw Sirius tense from the corner of your eye, but you smiled instead “As wonderful as Evan here was to work with, I’m sure Crouch would miss his partner,” you saw Evan’s breath hitch “Or is it Mulciber? I always confuse their little group...” you added in the end, playing dumb. 

“It’s Mulciber darling,” Slughorn said “Are you certain?” 

“Positive,” you added then. “Either way, I’d rather work with Remus, that way all the points we earn will go to our house and not be shared between the two.” 

Slughorn smiled “I do love seeing a competitive spirit, well then, you may clean up and retire earlier.” 

“Thank you, Professor,” you told him with a charming smile. You stood up, gaining distance between you and the blond and started gathering all the pots and vials you had used to take them to the sink. Evan gathered the ingredients and started accommodating them in their places as well. As you walked towards the sink Sirius quickly caught up with you, taking like three things, one of which Severus was still using which caused him to stare daggers at the boy. 

“Are you okay sweetheart?” he asked, brows furrowed in concern. Sighing with a small smile as you heard the nickname from his lips, making the difference you had noticed earlier so much more starker, that you really believed it was an entirely different word. 

You nodded, “He’s an asshole, but he’s not stupid,” you said as you dropped the things in the sink and waved your wand so they would start scrubbing themselves clean. Sirius dropped his as well, and walked closer, placing his hand on the small of your back protectively as you watched the vials and pots wash themselves, “he’s nothing more than empty threats.” Sirius threw you a look, threats hadn’t been empty when they threw you into the shrieking shack and left bruises all over your body. You swallowed, “He wouldn’t do anything with the head of his house around.” 

Sirius sighed, he wanted to tell you to stop trying to pick a fight with them, but he very well knew you weren’t, or rather, the fight had already started and you either played along and defended yourself or allowed them to lock you up in haunted houses and threaten you until they got bored. There was no way on earth you’d do the latter, he knew because he wouldn’t either “What did you talk about?” 

You smiled proudly at that “Turns out the one spell I managed to use against one of them, left him bedridden, and I’m like 80% sure Evan has a bruise just as bad as some of mine on his stomach where I elbowed him.” 

Sirius almost shook his head, smiling incredulously at the way you said that, the only reason you were standing still was because you had been slathered in potions and draughts, your arm was torn and you still found it hard to walk and yet, you were proud of the mild damage you had done to them “I knew you had put up a fight,” he cheered with a smile. 

You smiled back as you stared into his eyes and bit your lip “You and slime-head done?” 

“Almost. Why?” 

You pouted “Wanted to get outta here. Maybe we can go see how Remus is fairing up now and… I’m starving.” 

Sirius smiled “Then let’s go.”

“You’re ditching Severus?” 

He shrugged, “He’d be happier without me anyway.” 

You stared at him for a second and nodded, the two of you left the classroom together. Which not only made you happy Sirius was with you but also made you feel a lot more relaxed, since Evan wouldn’t dare to mess with the two of you at the same time by himself. That, you didn’t tell Sirius about. 

“Great hall and then Remus?” Sirius asked as you arrived at the moving stairs.

“Or kitchen, Remus and then great hall?” You suggested. 

“You wanna bring more food to him, don’t you?” 

“If being so hungry really is from the scratch, he must be a LOT more hungry than I am,” you said logically. 

“It’s your call,” he said as he started walking down the stairs that led you to the kitchens “How’s the arm?” 

“It’s good,” you said, you’d taken another dose of the painkiller potion so you could finish your brew after Evan crushed your arm, and because you were on a double dose, you didn’t even feel a thing at that point, you’d probably be told off by Sirius if he were to find out, so you decided to leave that information out “super.”  

Sirius squinted his eyes at you but nodded in the end. Perhaps I should check on it later, you thought as you gave your arm a quick look, but you were quickly distracted by the smell of food coming from the kitchens. This time around Nimbletwist was there, and upon hearing you say you’d been craving meat, she prepared a meat pie, Porchetta, hock & pork pies and even Venison pie.

“Thank you,” you told her with a smile. 

“So ye’ become stronger, Master,” she said with a smile. 

Sirius and you walked out of the kitchen and you were already munching on one of the pies as you walked towards the infirmary. You were the one to enter first, pushing the door with your hurt hand since you still didn’t feel a thing. Sirius was about to say something but Madam Pomfrey was staring at you from the other side already.

“Oh! Hey sweetheart, you’ve come back!” She said, almost emphasising the last couple of words. Which you thought was a little weird, but decided to ignore it. “And you’ve brought Mr. Black along, Remus’ two favourite people.” 

You smiled “Oh, don’t tell James or he’ll be jealous,” you joked, and Madam Pomfrey smiled a little wider.

“Mr. Potter better worry about taking care of himself on the pitch instead of who’s Mr. Lupin’s favourite.” 

“I’ve never really seen him in the infirmary…” you said both Sirius and Madam Ponfrey laughed. 

“Their lot has been over so often I’d say their house is the infirmary room instead of the Gryffindor Tower.” 

“Pomfrey, don’t say such things in front of my girlfriend,” Sirius chastised, the woman didn’t seem to mind Sirius’ informal manner, but she was a little surprised by what he said, not that she let it on. So that’s it, that’s why Remus doesn’t want to see the new girl, she thought. And she wasn’t completely wrong on that one either, she was very perceptive, but at least not enough to be able to tell you were hurt, and that the thing that hurt you had been Remus.

“He’s gotta be awake now, right?” The woman sighed and shook her head in response. You frowned, starting to worry, perhaps you really had hurt him a lot more than–

“–Why don’t you go see him? He’s asleep but you could leave the things you brought on his side table.” 

“May we?” you asked hopeful. 

The woman nodded, at least that way Remus would realise his friends were deeply worried for him. 

“Thanks, Poppy!” Sirius said as he walked behind you and towards Remus’ bed. The woman just shook her head at his antics as she saw the two of you walk towards the boy and sighed. 

“Hey Moons!” he said a little too loud and casually which earned him a smack from your part, from your hurt arm at that. He turned to you with a shocked expression. 

“He’s asleep, let him rest.” 

“He’s been sleeping all day!” Sirius argued, voice still a little too loud, “I’d say it’s about time to wake up! He was asking about you all night last night, might as well see you’re fine with his own bIoody eyes.” 

“Sirius!” you said sternly, which somehow got him to shut up “If he’s asleep it’s because he’s tired, and if he’s tired it’s because I jinxed him and then had the whomping willow hitting him on the side,” you whisper shouted, pointing at his bandaged stomach “let. him. sleep.” 

Sirius sighed but didn’t continue to argue. “You should just wake him,” he whispered, “‘m sure he’d love to see you.” 

“For some reason, I’m starting to doubt that,” you responded as you stared at the boy, and leaned in to leave the plate with food on the side table, staring at the untouched chocolate bar and taking one from your pockets to leave it on top. Two chocolates are always better than one chocolate.

“You think he’s really alright?” you asked as you turned to Sirius, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

Still more worried about him than herself, Sirius thought as he brought you into a careful hug “He’ll be fine, I promise,” he said as he rested his chin on your head. “Still hungry?” 

You nodded, “Very.” 

“Let’s go to our next stop then,” Sirius said, taking your hand in his and dragging you towards the door. You gave Remus’ laying figure one last look and finally turned to the door and walked alongside the longer-haired boy. 

As the two of you walked towards the Great hall, you started staring at your boyfriend, he hadn’t worn his tie that day, and his shirt was slightly unbuttoned, you barely got a peak of his neck, most of the shirt was kept closed with his school vest and robe, but for some reason you couldn’t stop staring. In fact, you even felt your mouth dry as you kept looking. Yeah, you were still hungry, just a different kind of hungry. 

“We should take a shortcut,” you said suddenly. 

Sirius raised one of his eyebrows, “You that hungry?” 

“Oh… I’m starving,” you replied, an air of mischievousness in your tone that Sirius took for a side effect of hunger rather than for what it really was. You pulled him towards a corner and then through a portrait, Sirius looked at you with raised eyebrows, you had memorised most of the map Remus had given you by now, and while you were not familiar with every single one of the secret passages in the castle, you were familiar with this one. You went up a couple of stairs and then turned, softly pulling Sirius against you, using your bad arm, which he was about to point out, but you crashed your mouth against his own, holding him towards you as he almost stumbled back. 

Sirius was a little shocked at first, but he’d never pass up a chance to kiss you, let alone hold you, so he carefully placed his hand around your waist and brought you a little closer, deepening the kiss, which had you smile, lips curling against his for a second before continuing the kiss. You started peppering kisses all over his face, a small trail towards his neck, allowing your teeth to graze against his neck as you kissed. His neck was so soft, especially compared to the rest of him, his muscly arms, strong torso and grip, which he seemed to be holding back in that instance. But not his neck, it was soft and tender and it smelled like him. 

When you wanted to bite, you managed to hold yourself back and trailed kisses back to his mouth instead “Hey luv,” he said before your lips crashed against each other “Are you sure you… I mean doesn’t your arm–“ 

You didn’t let him finish, pressing your mouth against his again, like you were starving, and you really were. Starving and hot, so hot it felt like June instead of November, so you took the one button of your robe off and slid it off your shoulders, letting it pool on the floor as you brought your hands to the back of Sirius’ neck and dragged his face closer to yours. 

Sirius wasn’t sure you’d ever kissed him like that, heck, he wasn’t sure he’d ever kissed anyone like that. Except maybe for Moony, that one-time last year they were so drunk and got dared by Marlene, who promised to buy them treats if they did. That should’ve been enough to make him notice what was actually going on, but Sirius was too focused on the way your hands were pulling on his hair, and the way your hands were angling his head whichever way you pleased. It sent a rush down his spine, Sirius was already so infatuated with you that any kiss would make him swoon, but this kiss was something else. He was the one to take the lead most of the time with you; and with every other girl he’d been with, at least. But this was different, and for some strange reason, he liked it. 

“Aren’t you hot?” you asked in between kisses, as you fumbled with your sweater. 

That made the boy frown. He thought it was rather chilly, actually. At least a tad colder than in the castle, since the passageways didn’t have the same heating spells as the more public sections. But then you pressed yourself against him, and the faintest little moan escaped your lips, which was enough to tip him over the edge. He grabbed you by the waist and pushed you into the cold wall of the staircase, walking up to the same step you were on, to tower over you,  now being he who pressed kisses down your neck, he wanted you to make that sound again. 

As he continued peppering wet kisses down your neck, he realised there was still the faintest shadow of stupid Evan’s grip on your neck and it both pissed him off and gave him an idea, he placed his lips right on top and started sucking as he kissed, grazing your skin with his teeth, his grip on your waist tightening a little as he did, eyes closed shot as he enjoyed how close he was to you.

“Ah… Sirius,” you breathed. 

He stopped sucking, kissing the spot softly before asking, hot breath against your skin “You don’t like it?”

Your eyes were blown as you panted “No… I meant– I–it was a… I definitely liked it,” you managed to say before pushing him back down. Sirius’ idea was simple, when you looked at your neck again, you wouldn’t think of Evan’s vicious fingers, instead, you would think of him, and this staircase, and how good he planned to make you feel. 

As he continued with his task, you started to fumble with your sweater again, loosening your tie and unbuttoning a few of your own shirt’s buttons, but your sweater was in the way so you started unbuttoning that as well. Sirius realised and helped, gently pulling it from the sides of your arms, trying not to brush too much against your hurt arm, but that’s when he realised– the entire area was wet and sticky. 

He quickly separated his lips from your neck and pulled back, you whined, and he would have responded with something cocky had it not been because he saw your arm first, your once white shirt had a dark red mark near your shoulder, a stark contrast with your lust filled face, you didn’t look like you had an ounce of pain, which was even more worrying to him. 

“Darling your arm!” He choked out.

“What’s with it?” you asked, still focused on him, lips slightly parted, breath still heavy.

“It’s bleeding,” Sirius informed, worry evident in his voice, you blinked at his words, still a little distracted by him.

Finally, you turned to look at your arm “Oh.” 

“Oh?! What do you mean “Oh”, didn’t you feel it?!” 

You averted your gaze, as you gulped, “I might have taken another dose of painkillers,” you mumbled as you looked towards the wound, it was right where Evan had dug his hand earlier, no wonder it had hurt you so much. 

“What?” Sirius asked, leaning closer to you again since he hadn’t heard. 

“I took another dose of the painkiller potion,” you repeated, louder this time. “Let’s just say it hurt a little too much and I didn’t want Evan to realise I was in pain.” 

He sighed, he definitely understood why you’d done it, not that it made it any better “Let’s go check that one,” he said as he leaned down to grab your robe and sweater. 

You sighed, you’d rather kiss him instead, but he was right. “There are bandages in my backpack,” you said pointing at it, Sirius had slung it around his shoulder earlier, “I can switch them up in the bathroom and–“ 

“–by yourself?” 

“Well, I was planning to do it earlier, can’t keep bothering Lily whenever something like this happens.” 

Sirius shook his head “Don’t be stubborn and let us help,” he said looking straight at you “That’s what friends are for. I swear sometimes you’re as stubborn as Moony.” 

“Yeah, but you like that about me,” you said with a wink, which got a diverted laugh from him. He grabbed onto your hand and guided you up the stairs until you reached what looked like an abandoned office. There was a huge window with enough light to allow you to switch the bandages comfortably. You sat on the old wood desk and you started to unbutton your shirt, taking just that sleeve off and using a spell to remove the bIoodstain. 

You started trying to find the end of the bandage, but Sirius stepped in, finding it with ease and taking it off himself instead. He cleaned the wound with the same bandage. Using the parts that weren’t already stained with bIood and aguamenti.

Sirius pulled a clean roll from your bag, and carefully started wrapping it around your arm. When he was done you smiled and pulled him into a hug, digging your face into his chest “Thank you,” you mumbled, he embraced you back carefully, making sure not to even brush over your arm. 

“Just let me care for you, all right?” He whispered as he leaned his head closer to yours. You half nodded and then your stomach rumbled. 

“Are you the other kind of hungry now?” he asked with a little smirk, you hit him on the side lightly and he let out a dramatised “Ouch!” 

“You’re the one that insisted on stopping, I might have had my good fill.” 

It was now his turn to raise his eyebrows “Starshine, you have no clue what that sounds like to me.” 

You giggled, realising the innuendo in your words “Maybe I do,” you teased, which just caused Sirius to laugh, she’s unbelievable, he thought. You could feel the rumbling on his chest. 

He then pulled away from you, lifting you slightly from the desk and bringing you to stand right in front of you, grabbing onto your wrist and pulling you towards one of the dark hallways “Alright little vixen, let’s get you something to eat.” 

You almost rolled your eyes at the nickname but followed the boy, casting a quick “evanesco,” over the red-stained bandages Sirius had left on the floor.  

It didn’t take long for you to arrive at the Great Hall, most of your friends were there too, Peter had even separated a plate for you with a couple of pieces of meat and the same sausages you were feasting on in the morning.

“Thanks Wormy,” You said as you sat down in front of him and next to James who passed you a goblet with some juice. 

“How’s Rem?” you heard Tom ask as he arrived, “Went to check on him this morning since he’s helping with some of my charms homework, but you guys went before coming here, right?”

You turned to Tom a little surprised, a sausage halfway into your mouth when you pulled it back down again “You went to see Remus in the morning?” 

“Yeah!” he said, “had a nice chat too, he said he should come back to classes tomorrow, he’s feeling a lot better, but you probably already knew.” 

You gulped, a frown evident in your face “You talked to him?” Tom nodded. 

“Didn’t you just come from the infirmary?” he asked.

“He was asleep,” you explained, your face was serious as you stood a little straighter, replaying the events of the day in your head. Sirius, who had been looking at you could practically see the gears turning in your head, he had already noticed something was off with Remus sleeping so much. “At what time did you go?” you asked then, tilting your head just a little, looking at him with a calm expression, a bit of a smile in the end, even. A mask, Sirius realised. 

“‘bout 6:30, just before class.” 

“Oh… And he… was awake?” 

Tom nodded, and it gave you the impression Remus hadn’t even been sleeping “Why?” 

He’s avoiding me, you realised. “Nothing, just curious,” you added “Seems every time I go he’s asleep, must have really bad timing.” 

Sirius gave you a look “Wanna try again?” he asked you, you shook your head in response. 

“Maybe after Herbology,” you said after popping another sausage into your mouth, trying to look uninterested. Even if, as you chewed, your mind was filled with a whirlwind of thoughts. The possibility that he woke up around the time Tom arrived and went back to sleep before you arrived made sense, for it to happen one time, so the chance that you were overreacting was still plausible.

But then you remembered the guilty look on Madam Pomfrey’s face when you went to visit and the uneasy feeling at the pit of your stomach grew. What if it hadn’t been a coincidence? You hadn’t talked to Remus at all after he turned, barely managing to see him get dragged away by James and Peter. The last thing he’d told you to do was to stop being stubborn and bomb the shit out of him, you cringed at the memory: Remus crouching on the floor, groaning in pain as he attempted to persuade you to murdеr him. 

And what had you done instead? You had pushed him around, had him chase you through the passageway, gotten the Whomping Willow to launch him to the side causing his ribs to crack, and then had him chase you through the forest until you literally placed the wand he had specifically given you to use against him in the floor because you thought it could appease the beast. Then Prongs came around and had to gore him one too many times and then you hid under a rock as he waited outside, angry and in pain. 

He had told you not to go to the woods, he had told you how dangerous it was. And you didn’t listen, and now he was hurt and probably in a lot of pain, definitely a lot more than you were, that was for sure. Yeah, I’d be pissed too, you thought as you shook your head. 

You didn’t regret your actions, not at all, you had gotten the flower, and it was now on Kless’ hands. That could definitely help Remus in the long run, but if you thought things through his point of view, you certainly understood why he would be avoiding you, if he was indeed doing it. 

“I’m not gonna let him,” you whispered, determination laced your words. 

“What was that luv?” Sirius asked, leaning in closer, snapping you away from your thoughts. 

“Oh nothing, we should probably get to herbology,” you said, grabbing a napkin and passing it over your mouth. 

After class, you went to check on Remus, and when you were there Pomfrey told you that he had just taken a sleeping draught because he had a severe headache. You peered through the curtain and spotted the two chocolates, still in their place, unwrapped. 

You took a deep breath and nodded, “Would you mind giving this to him from me, please?” you asked with a smile, she nodded and took it from your hands, that same apprehensive look on her face, before turning to the boy with a reproachful look. 

“Why don’t you take it to him?” She asked suddenly, “Perhaps he’s not completely asleep yet.” 

You scoffed wryly, a small, tight-lipped smile appearing on your face. “No need, it’s better he rests,” you said “I’ll get to talk things out sooner than later.”

You gave the woman yet another chocolate and walked towards the door. And it really would be sooner, since you planned to sneak out later that night. 

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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A/N: I'm feeling the festive spirits, decided to treat you with a little out-of-the-blue update. Hope you enjoy this chapter, and I know we all miss Rem, but trust me, the wait will be worth it.

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[headkiss]

hi hi!! in this fic you talked ab how peters girlfriend took pics of him and flustered him, could i request something where peter takes pictures of them instead and flusters them? if you do write this could you make it gender neutral? it’s completely okay if you can’t 🙏🏽

(feel free to ignore this i don’t mind i love everything you write)

hi thank u so much for ur request!!! | 0.7k of fluff, gn!reader

Peter has a drawer full of polaroid pictures.

You’re the one who gave him the camera. Your first christmas together, a wrapped box handed over with a shy smile, a tackling hug from Peter once it had been opened. He hasn’t stopped using it since.

Now, his drawer is almost exclusively filled with pictures of you. Years worth of memories and moments frozen in a frame. You sitting by the boxes on the floor after moving into your apartment, your head tilted up towards the sky when it snowed.

He carries the thing everywhere, slung over his neck or in his beat-up backpack. All the pictures of you, and you’re still not used to having a camera pointed towards you.

Tonight’s a takeout kind of night, both you and Peter too lazy to cook. It’s sweatpants that are too long rolled at the ankles, a baggy t-shirt with a hole in the neckline.

He ordered your favorite without asking, you’d simply overheard him on the phone with the restaurant and smiled because he knows you that well.

“I’ll be right back,” he’d said to you before he left to go pick up the food, a kiss stamped to your cheek.

It’s not even fifteen minutes later when he comes back through the door, the rustle of the takeout bag in his hand, the jingle of his keys being set down on the counter. You stand from the couch and meet him in the kitchen.

He’s standing by the island, taking out the boxes filled with your dinner from the bag. You come to stand beside him, nearly hip to hip.

You eat that way, too, sideways glances during bites, giggles hidden behind hands. It’s the kind of easy, simple, domestic thing you’ve come to love so much. The comfort that you could only ever feel with Peter. With the boy you love.

Peter catches you looking at him, your eyes all fond and sweet, and his heart swells in his chest. For a long time, he thought he was difficult to love, someone nobody would want, and then you came along and you look at him this way and he feels much differently.

“Don’t move.” Peter drops his fork and all but runs into your bedroom. He comes back with the polaroid camera in hand.

“Peter,” you groan. “Another one?”

“Just one, I promise.” He stands by the island again, hip leaning against the counter. “Please?”

You’ll never be used to the attention he gives you, to the idea that you’re worthy of being the subject of his pictures. As much as it embarrasses you, you can’t say no. Not when he says ‘please’ the way he does. Lip jutted in a pout, brown eyes sweet on yours.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Peter’s smile is instant, eyes crinkling in the corners. He leans in and pecks the tip of your nose, “thank you, honey.”

Your nose crinkles at his affection, and before you can really prepare yourself, the click of the camera sounds.

“I wasn’t even ready!”

“That’s kinda the point,” he says. “You already looked perfect, ‘kay?”

You hide your face in your hands, flustered as always when he takes a picture of you. It’s not even the picture itself, really, it’s the words that come with it, the compliments that he spits out like they’re facts.

You’ll never understand how this boy could feel the way he does about you, but he feels it and you don’t ever want to let that go.

The picture prints from the camera, and you can hear Peter start to shake it in the air to develop it quicker. After a couple of seconds, he sets both the picture and the camera down, freeing his hands to grab yours and pull them away from your face.

“Stop hiding,” he weaves his fingers between yours now that your hands are down, swinging them lightly between your bodies. “You’re pretty. Thank you for letting me capture that.”

“Give me my hands back, I need to hide again.”

“No!” Peter shakes his head, his smile soft and easy as ever. The private smile that he saves for you. “You’re not getting ‘em back.”

And, even flustered, you suppose having your hands in Peter’s forever wouldn’t be so bad.

[daisyblog]

Caught

Our Story Masterlist Summary: YN and Harry’s relationship is exposed after a photo of them kissing is leaked. Written in Louis' POV. Warning: swearing

Louis POV:

EXCLUSIVE: One Direction’s Harry Styles caught kissing bandmate’s sister

One Direction charmer Harry Styles has been pictured kissing his bandmate’s sister, YN Tomlinson, at Harry’s childhood friend's University party that the pair attended together last night. Students who were at Jonny's party said “They really seemed to have a connection and only had eyes for each other”. Another student said “They were enjoying themselves, laughing and joking together..were even dancing together”. Harry and YN were then seen getting into Harry’s car where he drove her back to her hometown. Whilst we think the pair are sweet and clearly enjoying themselves, what we want to know is…What does Louis think about his bandmate and sister locking lips?

“I’M GONNA FOOKIN’ KILL HIM” I shouted as I slammed my phone down in front of me on the table.

“Louis..what’s wrong?” my mother questioned as she stood behind the kitchen counter prepping mugs of tea for my grandparents who were sitting opposite me at the dining table. “HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?” showing my Mum the article I just read and the photo attached. She only glanced at the photo quickly and continued making tea. “Oh no..no..please don’t tell me you already knew” I could see it on her face, she knew because she was not shocked, it was like she had already seen it.   “Louis..” my Mum began to speak. “No…this can’t be happening” I said with a sarcastic chuckle. “Where is she?”

“Look..I’ve been trying to sort this out all morning…do you think I wanted to be up half the night with my daughter sobbing in my arms ‘cause she thinks her brothers gonna hate her” my Mum spoke “Just please…calm down for a moment..and let's talk about this without the screaming and shouting..yeah?” “Louis…come and sit with your Nan and me a second son” Grandad interrupted. I went back to my original position and slumped in the chair and crossed my arms. My Grandad’s voice interrupted my thoughts “Okay..so you’re going to sit there a moment..without interrupting me..okay?” “Yeah” “Okay..I understand you’re angry” I interrupted him with a huff “..but answer me this..do you ‘onestly think Harry would risk the band and your friendship if he didn’t like her?” I thought about it and he was right, Harry wasn’t a nasty lad, in fact, he’s the one who tries to look out for everyone and always makes sure they're okay “No” “Does he talk about other girls..does he bring them back to the flat..is he disrespectful?” again, the answer was no. Even when the other boys were talking about their girlfriends or girls they liked Harry would always just sit there and listen. My Grandad’s voice spoke again “I’ll take your silence as a no…have you even considered that maybe they’re meant for each other…ey?” at these words, I looked up and saw my Mum and Nan give me a slight smile. “Okay I get your point…doesn’t mean I’m ‘appy ‘bout it though” I spoke. “Just promise me this” Grandad spoke again “when YN walks through that door…don’t scream, don’t shout, don’t assume anything…please just listen to her…Harry too” I thought about it and took a deep breath “Yeah..fine I promise” Feet are heard coming down the stairs and a couple of seconds later YN appears, walking very sheepishly. I’m given a warning look by my Mum and before I say anything YN’s voice is heard. “Lou..I’m so sorry..I really am” she said with tears threatening to spill from her eyes. I rub a hand over my face because I hate seeing my sisters upset. “I-I…w-we…we never meant t-to hurt you” she sobbed. I got up from my seat and walked over to her, opening my arms as my feet took me to her “Come ‘ere” and she wrapped her arms around me and sobbed into my chest “shh..c’mon it’s alright…I-I’m just shocked that’s all” After YN had calmed down a little and stopped crying, she joined me and our grandparents at the table. “Look..I can’t say I’m ‘appy ‘cause I’m not..but I just need some time to think okay” “I am sorry Lou” YN apologised again. “I know you are…where’s Harry now?” I asked. “He went back to London after the party last night” she explained. “So…is it serious then..you know..you like him?” YN nodded “Yeah..he’s really nice Lou…you should know that” she said with a slight grin. “Yeah…he is…I am gonna talk wiv him though..you know that” “Just listen to him Lou...’cause he’s actually terrified he’s messed up…not just wiv you but with me too”

---

I walked up to mine and Harry’s shared flat, having just driven almost three hours back from Doncaster. I put the key in the lock and opened the black door. I close the door behind me and kick off my shoes. I take a deep breath before I walk slowly towards the lounge door, as I was in Harry lifts his head from his hand where it was leaning on the arm of the sofa. “Louis” he began “L-l-look I’m…I don’t know what to say..but I’m sorry” I sat down on the sofa opposite him and leaned my elbows on my knees “I’d be fookin’ lying if I said I was ‘appy…but I’ve had time to think on me way ‘ome…and I’m tryin’ to do what’s best for me sister” “Is she okay?” Harry asked with worry written all over his face. “Uhh..yeah she’s okay…just a bit upset by the whole thing” “I’ve fucked up man” He said and buried his face in his hands. “Do you like her..like is it serious..or is just a phase?” I needed to know for sure. “Lou..I-I would never have risked this if I didn’t like her…I don’t how to describe it but..I can promise you it’s not just a phase…I’d never want to hurt her or you…you’re my best mate and I just wish I’d have told you and you didn’t find out like this” he rambled. “Harry” I spoke “If you hurt her..I will hunt you fookin’ down...now come ‘ere” I spoke as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. “I’ll look after her Lou..I promise” he squeezed me tighter “thanks for not punching me too..I’ve been waiting for it all morning” he said with a grin. “The band needs your handsome face…otherwise I would ‘ave” I joked. --- As I was walking back from Zayn’s flat where I’d been for the evening, watching football and filling him in on the situation, my phone buzzed in my jean pocket. YN Thank you for listening to Harry. I really am sorry Lou! I’ll phone you tomorrow, love you lots xxx I began tapping my fingers against the screen, adding the nickname I used to call her when we were younger. LouisI love you Tiny xx

[x0llaz]

Ghosting

Sungchan x Reader

ANGSTTTTTT SOWWY, fluff at the end, hurt comfort, self doubt, burnout, mentions of twilight

WC: 3k

pt 3 of my lil sungchan series. pt 1, pt 2

YN assumed that all was well in her relationship- situationship? Flirtationship?- the two had gone on their second official date, and hung out plenty of times beside then. She thought she and sungchan were doing great, until he stopped answering his texts. 

They had just seen each other before then- he took her out to dinner and bought them milkshakes. He had spent the night in her apartment, as he had grown used to doing, and they fell asleep playing video games on her couch. He had left the morning after after giving her a kiss on the cheek and saying ‘Talk to ya’ later, cutie’

The first day, YN assumed it must be he’s away from his phone- he doesn’t have to respond right away, and she didn’t need him to. 

But when another day passed, and then another, YN became skeptical. She began to criticize herself for texting him the usual good morning/good night texts when she got no response. Whe texted him asking if he was alright, but got no response. She asked him if he was going to a party Yunjin had invited her to, but her message was never read. She kept trying, but kept getting nothing. She felt pathetic. 

Eventually the days turned into a week, and still no word from sungchan. It confused her- they had been so close for weeks before, why drop her now? A week turned into two weeks, and YN felt herself lose her will to keep trying. Too many texts left on delivered, too little communication to justify her continuing to text a ghost. 

Had she done something wrong? She wracked her brain for anything she could’ve done to offend him, or make him upset, but couldn’t think of anything. She wondered if maybe he was talking to someone else or… maybe he just wasn’t interested anymore. 

She thought about their times together, their first date that was so perfect she almost thought she dreamed it. Kissing him when he showed up at her door, or when they’d snuggle up on her couch and watch movies they never really paid attention to. It all left her wondering what happened. Why was sungchan suddenly MIA?

She just felt… useless. 

YN decided to go out as a pick-me-up. Yunjin walked at her side, knowing of her struggle with sungchan, and more than willing to help her get her mind off things. Regardless of what was going on in YN’s mind, Yunjin was always a great pick-me-up.

“I mean we could go to a party tonight?” She suggested. 

“You know I hate parties,” YN rolled her eyes. 

“We wouldn’t stay long, plus, it’s a mostly girls party. It’s kind of exclusive,” Yunjin wriggled her eyebrows. 

“I’ll let you know if I want to go,” YN replied, her arms locked with Yunjin. 

“Well we gotta do something to get your mind off of sungchan,” 

“Pffft, it’s not like it’s that big of a deal. I’m fine, I promise,”

“It certainly hasn’t seemed like it.” Yunjin watched YN tilt her head to the side. “You seriously haven’t realized you’ve been mentioning him non stop for days?”

YN paused for a moment. “I didn’t think it was that bad,” she mumbled. 

“Oh, it’s bad bad. You can’t stop talking about it.”

YN looked down, embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” she muttered. She didn’t want to talk about it anymore, now feeling too exposed for how she had been really feeling.

Yunjin paused her steps, looking over to her friend. “Oh, no, don't apologize! It’s okay, I understand why,”

“I just feel bad, I really didn’t realize how much it was on my mind,” YN explained, staring at the pavement below her. 

“It’s okay, really,” Yunjin assured her. “It just makes me sad seeing you so sad over a man,” She shrugged, squeezing YN’s arm reassuringly.

“I really liked him though… and I thought…” She trailed off, sighing and shaking her head. 

“And that’s normal. It’s okay to be sad about stuff like this.” Yunjin told her. “Now perk up, cutie, We’ve got a weekend to waste, and a man to forget about.” 

The Two walked around the market, looking at handmade goods, and fresh pick fruits and veggies. For a while, YN began to let her mind wander from Sungchan. She enjoyed her time with Yunjin, joking around and talking about drama that had been going on in recent weeks. It was easy to forget about things when she was with Yunjin, it was easy to forget all her sorrows. 

They heard something from the distance, and perked up once more when they realized there was someone calling their names. 

“Is that them? Yunjin? Yunjin!” someone shouted from the distance, weaving through the crowd. “It is them!” He called, tugging someone behind them. “YN, Yunjin!” They recognized shotaro at a distance, smiling and waving at them. YN froze when she saw who was right beside him. 

Jung Sungchan. The man who had been ghosting her for two weeks. 

YN turned to Yunjin, her anxiety clear on her face. “You’ll be okay,” Yunjin whispered, keeping their arms interlocked. 

YN watched as the two of them approached, and almost immediately locked eyes with Sungchan. She stood there staring at him before tearing her gaze away and looking at the ground. WHen she looked up, Sungchan stood at a closer distance, a smile on his handsome face as he looked at her, holding his hand up in a friendly wave. If he hadn’t been ghosting her for weeks, her heart would’ve melted, she probably would have swooned. But alas, she was in no mood to swoon. 

“Hey guys!” Shotaro greeted cheerfully. “It’s good to see you, we’ve been meaning to hang out,” He nudged sungchan, whose face dropped a bit when YN avoided his gaze. 

“Yeah, it’s good seeing you guys,” His gaze was still fixed on YN, who had her phone pulled out, fingers typing away at something. 

It wasn’t long until Yunjin and Shotaro fell into a comfortable conversation, and Sungchan took a step closer to YN. 

“Hey,” He smiled, his voice soft. 

“Hi.” YN replied shortly. Sungchan took note, shifting his weight a bit. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, slightly concerned. 

“Yeah why?” She lied, folding her arms. 

“You just seem… more closed off.” He thought of their last time together, how close they had been, the stark contrast of this moment compared to then. 

“Well sorry, I’m not sure how to talk to someone who’s been ignoring me for two weeks,” YN glanced at him, voice stern. 

Sungchan furrowed his brows. “What do you mean?” He asked in confusion. 

YN rolled her eyes, not wanting to continue down this path. “Yunjin, I’m gonna head home. I’ll text you about the party,” she said before turning on her heel and walking out of sungchan’s sight. 

“So… why is YN mad at you?” Shotaro asked, taking a bite of his food. 

Sungchan shrugged. “I really don’t know? It kinda confused me.” The look shotaro gave him told him to continue. “She said I’d been ignoring her,”

“Have you been ignoring her?” Shotaro asked, knowing the answer, but wanting Sungchan to hear the truth from himself. 

The hesitancy Sungchan felt made his heart drop a bit, realizing that he had been ignoring her. “I… i didn’t think I was ignoring her,” He pulled out his phone to see the old messages he hadn’t taken the time to look at. “I didn’t really mean to,” 

“Yeah, well, you did,” Shotaro sighed. “When did you last see her?”

“I forget, but it wasn’t that long ago,” sungchan answered. 

“Okay… and when was the last time you texted her? When was the last time she texted?”

“She texted me a couple days ago…” Sungchan put his phone down, taking a few bites of his food, as if he could avoid talking if he had his mouth full. 

“Sunghcan,” Shotaro looked at him with a disbelieving expression.

“This food is really good,” Sungchan didn’t meet his gaze, stuffing his face with more food.

“Seriously, when was the last time you hung out?” Shotaro asked once more. 

“I don’t know, it couldn’t have been too far back,” sungchan shrugged. “I think… two weeks?”

“Two weeks????”

Truth be told, Sungchan had no intentions of ghosting YN. Hell, he barely realized he had been. 

When Sungchan got focused on something, it was almost like everything in the world stopped existing. That something happened to shift from YN, to his upcoming exam. It was the majority of his quarter grade, and in his efforts to study, he had unintentionally ignored nearly everything around him. Shotaro had begged him to go out for an hour or two that day, which was a struggle in itself. 

Needless to say, he had been burnt out, not even realizing it. He barely had been out besides classes, and his social life had taken a pretty big hit. He had been tired, focused so much on passing the quarters exam, that he neglected one of the biggest parts of his life. 

He hadn’t realized until he saw YN, how little time he had spent with her. In his time away, he never had the chance to think about just how much he missed her. Sungchan hadn’t thought much about the girl he liked so much- not because he lost interest, but because he was buckling under the pressure of school. 

Sungchan rubbed the bridge of his nose, sighing in his own frustration. “I know, I know,” he looked up at shotaro. “So?”

“So what?” Shotaro asked.

“So what should I do? I messed up,” Sungchan shrugged, looking at shotaro hopefully. 

“Are you stupid?” Shoptaro asked. Before the younger could question his words, he said, “Apologize to her! You can’t get anywhere if you don’t talk to her,” Shotaro told him. “Make it quick before Yunjin gets involved.”

Sungchan Nodded. “Noted.”

When the two of them parted ways, sungchan walked with his hands in his pockets. He walked to his apartment, making a mental list of ways he could apologize, how he could make things up to her. He was never great at things like that, but he knew that he would change it for her.

When YN got home, her mood was brought down even more seeing there was still nothing from sungchan. It Was partially her fault, leaving before he could get a word in, but logic did nothing to brighten her mood. The worst part of the citation was how much it made her get into her own head. 

She began doubting her bond with sungchan, doubting herself. Was she that forgettable that he could go weeks without talking to her and not even realize? 

She sat down on her couch and pulled a pillow over her head, groaning into it as she laid back. In her own house, with nothing to distract her from her own doubts and fear, she felt the tears well in her eyes. It wasn’t her first experience with heart break, or with a failed relationship, but nonetheless, it hurt. She had let herself get used to sungchan, gotten her hopes up with him. Was she stupid to think they’d be more than a situationship? Tears streamed down her face before she could bring her hand up to wipe her face.

She thought back to their first date, and questioned how she ended up here. Crying on her couch because of a guy who wasn’t even her boyfriend. Crying over the guy who took her out for lunch and who she convinced to stay a little longer. Did it mean anything? Was this just how Sungchan was?

She wiped her tears and turned on her side, resting her cheek against her pillow as her phone lit up with texts from Yunjin. 

Jen: you okay???

Jen: you left rlly fast

Jen: Did he do smth???? I can kill him

Jen: should I come over?

She sighed, not wanting to involve Yunjin even more in her boy problems. 

YN: no i’m ok

YN: thanks tho 🙂

YN dropped her phone on the coffee table, closing her eyes and curling into herself. It wasn’t that late, but the tears streaming down her cheeks, and the flashes of her time with sungchan that came up every so often made her tired, made her want to escape. 

Within a few minutes, she drifted off to sleep, not wanting to think about sungchan anymore, hoping her tears would dry themselves. 

Hours passed, and YN woke up from her spot on her couch. Her back ached from the uncomfortable position, cheeks a bit puffy from crying. She went to shower, dousing herself in water to soothe her skin, and ease the pain that came from her uncomfortable sleeping position. She changed into pajamas, and dried her hair before putting it up. YN knew that since she had woken up when it was late, she wouldn’t be able to sleep well. Given that, she decided to treat herself. She wouldn’t go to another party with Yunjin, she wouldn’t spend her night crying over sungchan, she’d just let herself relax. 

She reached for her phone so she could order herself some food, but a notification made her stop for a moment. 

Channie <3: hi

Channie <3: can we talk pls?

Channie <3: i miss u

YN scoffed at the messages. Two weeks and her turning him down was what it took for him to take interest again?

She didn’t respond and placed an order for delivery. She had Wine in her cabinet that she saved for special occasions (or nights when she needed a little pick me up) and a pint of her favorite ice cream. She brought out her favorite blanket and sat down on the couch, trying to pick what she should watch, settling on twilight because what could take her mind off of things with sungchan better, than a YA romance movie.

She got up and grabbed the wine from her cabinet, pouring a bit into her glass and talking a few sips before reaching around for the ice cream in her freezer. In the midst of her search, she heard a knock on her door. Not realizing it was too quick to be her food order, she went over, and opened the door. 

“Sungchan?”

He stood in the doorway, eyes wide, as if he had ran up the stairs like he had the night of their first date. 

YN just sighed. “What are you-”

She was cut off when she felt his arms wrap around her, his head buried in her neck as if he wanted to crawl inside her. She heard him let out a shaky breath and her eyes widened, confused as to what was going on, and why he suddenly showed up. 

“I’m sorry,” he said into her skin, arms tightening around her. “I didn’t mean to ignore you, I promise,” His voice was soft, almost fragile sounding.

YN was stunned for a hot minute, standing there and letting him hug her before hesitantly bringing her arms to wrap around him, relaxing into his grasp. They stayed like that for a moment before each pulling away. YN led sungchan further inside, leading him to sit on her couch. She sat next to him, an awkward distance away. 

“What’s going on?” she asked hesitantly. 

“I wanted to apologize, and like… explain why i ignored you,” 

YN looked at him expectantly. 

“So, I have a big exam coming up, and it makes up half of my quarter’s grade. And if I failed, my semester exam would also be sunk, so-” He paused. “Not important. When I get into something really intensely, I have a bad habit, that I’m gonna work on, of kinda forgetting everything else. Even Shotaro struggled to get in contact with me. He had to drag me out earlier today.” 

He looked at YN and sighed, seeing her hesitant expression. 

“I really am sorry that I hurt you. It wasn’t my intention, but I know I did, and I promise, I’ll make it up to you,” He reached for her hand lightly. 

YN looked down at their hands. “I thought you lost interest in me,” She said quietly. 

“What?” Sungchan asked, confused if he heard her correctly. 

“I thought You lost interest. I thought you lost interest and started ignoring me.” She said a bit firmer. 

Sungchan’s heart dropped hearing those words. “YN,” he brought his other hand to her cheek, tilting her gaze towards him. “What I did was a mistake. A mistake I promise, I won’t make again,” his thumb brushed her cheek. “And I promise, I swear on everything, I’m still pretty crazy for you,” He gave her a light smile. 

His words made YN smile, intertwining her fingers with his as he leaned in to give her a soft kiss. They wrapped their arms around each other once more, not letting go of each other even as they just sat on the couch, covered by the blanket. 

YN got up when she heard a knock on her door, much to sungchan’s dismay. She brought back the food she ordered, plus the ice cream and wine. When sungchan reached for some, she swatted his hand away.

“Thats not for you,” she shook her head with a playful smile. 

“I thought you weren’t mad?” Sungchan sat up a bit, concerned.

“I’m not, but i ordered these for me,” She poked his stomach. 

When Sungchan stuck out his bottom lip in a pout, pleading for some food like he had been starving all day, YN rolled her eyes. 

“Fine,” she said, and gave him some food, and poured him a glass of wine. 

They found their places back on the couch, snuggled up against each other, sungchan’s arm draped around her waist as she rested on his chest. In the middle of the movie, while the Cullens played baseball, sungchan spoke up. 

He asked her, “Do you want to go on a date tomorrow?”

whoopee!!! I finished pt 3, stay tuned for the next parts, I pinky promise they'll come out sooner.

taglist: @oftenjisung , @vhuteryh, @skzhoe4life, @cheederzchez , @so-lychee , @leehanascent

[ninyard]

"if you can't figure it out by now, then i don't have anything else to tell you."

This would be perfect for Andrew to say to Neil

“If you can’t figure it out by now, then I don’t have anything else to tell you,”

(aka an Andreil “what are we?” conversation.)

-

“Allison hasn’t stopped calling you my boyfriend since we got back from the cabins.” Neil was sat parallel to Andrew with his arms wrapped around his knees in a meagre attempt at keeping warm, next to Andrew’s outstretched legs. The air on the roof of the dorms was crisp with a fresh Spring breeze, the wind swirling debris in little whirls around them. “I haven’t told her to stop, but I will if it bothers you. ”

“Is that what you’ve been thinking about for the last twenty minutes?” Andrew asked, a rhetorical air to the question he didn’t really want answered at all. The smoke that left his lips disappeared quickly in the wind, miraculous that his cigarette was still burning. He brought it back up to his lips and inhaled before turning to look at Neil. He didn’t say anything, and his bored gaze didn’t say much either.

“It’s Allison.” Neil settled for, as if it were explanation enough. He sat up straight to match Andrew’s eye-line. “It’ll catch on.”

Andrew regarded Neil for only a second longer before turning back towards the view in front. “She has never strayed far from being a tabloid princess. It’s nothing more than front page news to her.”

“I told you she was betting on us,” Neil said, but Andrew held up a finger to stop him. “What?”

“Their poor choices in gambling are not my business.” He said, stubbing out the finished cigarette next to him and flicking the butt over the edge. His hands found rest in his lap, interlaced into each other. “They chose a horse in a race and think that they’ve won. I don’t care.”

“Tell me to ask her to stop, then.” Neil looked away as well, arms crossed over his chest, close to asking Andrew to go inside. They could talk in their dorm, except for the fact that Kevin had surprisingly invited Matt over to discuss his playing strategy, and this was not the kind of conversation Neil wanted to have with company. They could speak in German; but he’d made a conscious effort to speak in English in front of his teammates since he promised not to keep secrets from them anymore. “Say the word and I’ll tell her, because I don’t care.”

“Evidently not.” Andrew said. “Why bring it up if you didn’t?”

“Well, does it?” Neil didn’t want to indulge in his desire to dodge his questions by changing the subject. “Bother you, I mean.”

“Irrelevant bullshit doesn’t bother me.” Andrew pedantically emphasised the word bother with quotation marks in the air. “You’re asking stupid questions.”

“Valid questions.” Neil corrected.

“Needless questions.”

Neil sighed and extended his legs. He had to brush the hair from out of his eyes to look over at Andrew, reminding himself that he needed a haircut. “I’ll tell her to stop, then.”

“That is not what I said.” Andrew brushed him off with a wave of his hand.

“So are you my boyfriend?” Neil wasn’t sure why he cared so much, or if he even cared at all, because he knew in truth he would never go out of his way to call Andrew his boyfriend anyway. But in some ways it felt important to understand what was really happening, and how exclusive was their nothing? In his own mind, never to be spoken aloud, did Andrew even believe that they were a thing?

Andrew looked at him, his gaze falling from the top of Neil’s head to the bottom of his chest and back up again. He tilted his head, and landed on Neil’s eyes. After a small inhale, he nodded forward, “No.”

Even expecting it, even knowing that was what he was always going to say, it still felt like a surprise punch to his stomach. That’s what Andrew had done to him, he’d turned him soft, he’d turned him into someone with an interest in normality. He’d turned him into someone who longed for a boyfriend and a life, a home, a future, even if his stomach twisted at the thought.

He pushed down the tiny feeling of disappointment that radiated through his gut, and smiled, “Okay.” Andrew didn’t look away, but he remained silent, and Neil filled the space with a question he knew he shouldn’t ask, but had to ask anyways, “So what are we?”

“You are living inside a movie.” Andrew didn’t laugh, but Neil was sure that the desire to was buried somewhere beneath his stoic expression. “Is that how far removed you’ve become in your freedom, that you think that is something you have to ask me?” He shuffled himself over so he was better facing Neil, and he glanced between his eyes. “We are nothing.”

“A truth?” Neil tested.

“Fuck off,” Andrew poked Neil’s chest hard enough to hurt. “That is the truth.”

“So I’ll tell Allison to stop.” Neil’s head bowed in an over exaggerated nod of understanding. “I’ll tell her that you are not my boyfriend, and you don’t want to be called that. I’ll tell her you said that.”

“I hope that is not supposed to be a threat.” Neil had hoped his response would be more telling, but Andrew continued with, “Would you like to be called my boyfriend?” His tone was less inquisitive than it was mocking, the slightest grimace in his face telling Neil that he hated even saying it.

“I don’t know.” Neil reached a hand out towards Andrew, pausing for a silent glance of approval from him before he placed it on his chest, playing with the strings of the black hoodie he wore. “I’m mostly tired of not knowing what I mean to you.” Andrew’s expression hardened into something resembling annoyance as he continued to speak. “I’m not asking you to call me your boyfriend, okay? I just want to know if you‘re going to meet another guy, and think it’s okay to get him off, because we’re not together.”

Andrew didn’t move to reciprocate the touch Neil had given him, but raised an eyebrow at the hypothetical. “It sounds like it would be a problem for you if I did.”

Neil matched his stare and coolness in his response, “And what if it is?”

“This is an entirely unproductive conversation to have,” Andrew rested a wrist on Neil’s shoulder and brushed a piece of hair back behind his neck. A small but meaningful gesture that perhaps was given in lieu of ensuring Neil that his example would never happen. “I will not give you the pleasure of reassurance. If you haven’t figured it out by now, then I don’t have anything else to tell you.”

“How can I figure it out, when you keep telling me it doesn’t exist?” Neil’s voice was low, and Andrew’s sigh meant he heard the gentleness in it. He heard the way Neil hadn’t meant to sound so pleading, the words leaving his lips in such a way that felt like a desperate whisper for answers. “I want to hear you say it.”

Andrew looked down at the hair by Neil’s neck. “You know that I won’t.”

“Then tell me that we’re not just fucking for fun.”

Andrew dropped his hand and pushed Neil off, seemingly thrown by his bluntness. His laugh was a single short breath, not a semblance of a smile or humour in it. He shook his head as he took a cigarette from the packet he’d pulled from his pocket. Once the cigarette was placed between his lips, he stopped with the lighter a few inches away from his face, pointing the fire starter at Neil. “Well, we’re certainly not fucking for love.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Neil watched as he struggled to ignite the lighter, hand cupped around the flame, the wind set on blowing it out. After the third unsuccessful try, Neil reached forward to help him shield it with both his hands, until three short puffs in from Andrew told him it was lit. Andrew leaned back and exhaled. He watched as Neil pulled his hands away.

“You want to know if I’m going to get bored of you, then.” He said through smoke. Andrew adjusted himself to tuck one of his legs beneath the other, leaning his elbows on his knees. “You want to know if I have feelings, is that it?”

Neil shrugged his shoulders and looked at his hands. “Maybe.”

Neil listened as Andrew let out another smoky exhale. He cleared his throat, and when Neil thought he might speak, he instead filled his lungs again. There was no need to flick off the ash as the wind did that job for him, but from instinct he did it anyway. He let out another humourless laugh, two short puffs following in order to keep the stick lit. Andrew was not looking at Neil as he lifted his eyes to watch him, Andrew’s hazel gaze fixed on something in the distance. Using the thumb and index finger of his free hand he wiped the sides of his lips, tensing his jaw like the words took it out of him just to say. “Fuck you for even asking.”

The tug in Neil’s chest was impossible to ignore. It felt wrong to hear Andrew’s voice wrapped around those words, words that separately read like an insult, yet meant something different to their original form when he uttered them. Like watching a fish out of water, like listening to a mime sing; to have these moments of vulnerability from Andrew were as beautiful as they were rare. He hadn’t intended to steer their conversation to the place where it had landed, and part of him felt guilty as he watched Andrew silently struggle through the side of himself he swore did not exist. The side of Andrew that kept itself buried six feet below, hidden from anyone who asked, except for Neil, who’d been digging a hole for months trying to find it.

“When you put a name to something it gives it permanency, yet an opportunity to end,” Andrew sat up and moved closer to Neil, finding his position with one knee in between his legs, sitting back on a spot on the lower half of Neil’s thigh. He threw the cigarette somewhere behind him as he settled. Taking Neil’s hair into his fists, he examined the look on his face with his lips slightly pursed. He considered his words and took one hand out of Neil’s hair to hold his chin up, making sure he was listening. “You label it however you wish. I will not. Do you understand?”

Neil nodded, afraid to speak, as if any words insufficient would cause Andrew to change his mind about where he rested his body weight. It was reassurance enough that he’d found his way there, and that he remained, comfortable by his own volition.

“And for the record, Abram,” Andrew leaned in close, wisps of his hair tickling Neil’s face, his breath hot as he left a gentle kiss on his jawline. Neil shut his eyes and breathed in the moment, hiding his fists in the pocket of Andrew’s hoodie. “To answer the question you so annoyingly want answered,” He left another kiss higher up on his jaw, brushing his lip against his ear lobe as he moved, slowly, so gently Neil was both afraid he would fall apart, or that he would be able to feel his quickly beating heart through his skin. The hand that had sat in his hair moved to cup the opposite side of his face, the other tucking Neil’s hair behind his ear and holding him by his neck. Neil couldn’t help but shiver as he whispered in his ear, “I will not be fucking anyone else, and I am not just fucking you for fun. Happy?”

Neil nodded as he turned into his lips, melting into the kiss that warmed him up as the wind persisted. His hands pulled out of the hoodie pocket, and he tapped Andrew’s neck for permission to hold him. When Andrew hummed with a barely there nod, he hooked his hands around the back of his neck and pulled him closer.

There were a million things Neil could label Andrew;

Terrifying but caring. Gentle while violent.

Beautiful, like something that deserved to be hung on a wall, yet so precious Neil wished nobody else could see.

Rough. Jagged.

Talented. Human.

Misunderstood, perhaps. Genuine, most of the time.

When he thought about Andrew, there were a million things he could identify him as before landing on Neil’s boyfriend.

He would not tell Allison to stop, nor correct Nicky when he joined in. He would not say it out loud, either, as if their nothing that is something was so sacred it couldn’t be uttered. It was a relief of course to know that Andrew was his, and though he felt embarrassment rush through his blood at the idea of it, he was certain that what they had both found in each other was glaringly rare and hauntingly perfect. He noticed how perfect they fit together in each others space, lips on lips, hands on skin, and wondered how he ever doubted this was it; that this was real.

He was sure that no one else could experience such a thing.

[undead-supernova]

Right Here, Right Now / Masterlist

Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11

plot: corroded coffin's eddie munson agrees to an interview for the first time in three years, alongside a new album that is most definitely about you.

Pairings: modernrockstar!Eddie x fem!popstar!Reader (curvy!reader, bisexual!reader)

Warnings: talks of familial death, depressing lyricism, angst

wc: 4.1k

note: I also wrote all of the lyrics in this chapter and made the images above of the album's cover and tracklist. I feel so proud of how much my hard work is paying off. DON'T USE THESE LYRICS ANYWHERE ELSE THANK YEW

Just one more mile.

You could do it. No, really, you could.

Tour really was coming up in the next six months and you had to build up your stamina now or else you weren’t going to survive. Things really were better now, though. You’d gotten rid of your personal trainer and switched to someone who did not suggest that you stop eating. It seemed like Sophia was a better fit anyways. If anything, she told you to eat more.

So here you were, on your poor attempt at a night run.

And you promised yourself that you wouldn’t think about him and how his album was dropping any day now.

Definitely, definitely not.

It was nearly midnight anyways, a few out from the witching hour but that’s not how it went for you. If anything, you were cursed with the threat of midnight being the worst hour of each day. It was like some switch flicked on and you were a mess of a woman, splayed out in bed and thinking. Furiously scribbling in a notebook as you lost to the thoughts in your head. Curled up in a ball in the shower, the white noise perfect for your never-ending thinking.

And who could forget sitting in your kitchen with a bowl of Kraft mac and cheese. Don’t forget the thinking.

Thinking about Eddie. His voice. The way he was willing to give you more than you deserved without any rhyme or reason. How desperate you felt to reconnect, to apologize profusely and beg for some semblance of forgiveness.

And now you were here, trying to outrun your problems while watching the headlights passing the windowpane.

Tried to stop thinking about how at any moment, Eddie could show up and you’d fall into his arms without any question. You’d tell him it didn’t matter. None of it did. And he’d say he wasn’t mad anymore and that he missed you and then you’d go on living like you once did.

Before you could lose yourself to wishing on headlights, a notification popped up on your phone.

         Spotify exclusive: Listen to Corroded Coffin’s new album now!

Without any warning, you lost your footing on the treadmill and fell backwards. Hit your head on the floor, stunned. Let the pain throb in your head for only a few seconds before you dragged your body upright and clicked on the album.

Your eyes scanned the track list, heart pumping incessantly as a bead of blood rushed down your forehead. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Quickly, you threw yourself into the shower to wash off before grabbing headphones and padding into your walk-in closet. Situated yourself in the back corner, your body fitting snuggly in isolation. 

And as you pressed that green play button, your grief washed over you at every line you called your favorite.

Welcome Home

         “Dad’s disappearing acts and the award-winning smile 

         saying ‘sure, I’ll be comin’ back’

         Well, I guess we’re both suckers for a little hope every once in a while

         And, mom, is that why you stayed? Waited up praying, decaying all alone

         Just so one day, you’d be able to say, ‘Welcome home’.”

Fever

         “How could you ever fight a fever? God dammit, she’s more than a flame

         Got her pinning me down, locked inside her heat wave

         Sweat dripping, flesh gripping, I melt from her gaze

         Just one more round, promise I’ll behave

         Come on, darling, why don’t you set me ablaze?”

The Cost

         “I ruined all the plans that hadn’t been made

         Loving you as the bellbirds erupted in a haunted chorus

         Rosy pink clouds turned into showers of blood and hate

         I’m trying, baby, I’m trying to find a way out for us

         But isn’t that the cost, darling? 

         Isn’t that the price of being with me?”

Tailor-Made

         “We’re the only ones walking through the neighborhood

         Sweetheart, don’t you think I know how to hide?

         I’d never speak it, but I’d buy every house if I could

         Marry you in secret, raise our kids benevolent and kind.”

Rose Petals (Interlude)

         “Take a boy-turned-man, crucifying himself at your altar

         Convince him your devoted infatuation will never falter

         Paint his skies a vibrant pink then turn him into sheet metal

         Leave him bleeding out, fractured, scattered like rose petals.”

As Good As Dead

         “What’s more cliché than a man saying he’d die without your love

         At least if I had an open vein, I’d feel something better than being numb

         ‘There’s no such thing as fate’ my thoughts screamed so fucking loud

         But there was comfort in blind faith, that ill-fated crowd

         Had a grip on your throat. Shit, maybe it always has

         But now that I’m as good as dead, I can’t help my bitter laugh.”

A Mirage of Lovers

         “There sat Elizabeth and Al,

         on the front porch of their first house

         Blind with momentary affection

         And I swear when I looked at you,

         I thought you were a lasting confection

         But I swear there’s a mirage of lovers

         Blurring in its reflection.”

Deluge

         “It’s all there in my head, all in disarray

         A cesspool of memories, a desperation for change

         Fought for my life, thought it was so I could see you

         Mother, I know that you’re not here, I’m still trying to heal

         But please tell me now that love has always been real

         Yet I wonder if you ever believed it yourself."

Hotwire

         “Al loved a nice Hotwire

         Pull ‘em apart, let them fray, twist ‘em till they go insane

         And, yeah, I guess everyone I love is the same.”

Fallen Hero (Interlude)

         “Every time I pick up a pen

         It’s destined to dry out

         And I refuse to go outside, refuse to call my friends

         What’s the point when they’ll never understand?

         I’ll leave myself behind just to have a pinch of hope

         But I come back down from daydreams covered in blood

         Just gotta learn to change, learn to change

         Learn to accept being the fallen hero."

Intangible

         “There’s beauty in the ways of intangibility 

         Like the touch of a woman in blushing gardens far away

         The curve of her hips blooming in shades of futility

         Laughter billowing like smoke lingering in the archway

         And there’s places she will never be able to evade

         A bouquet, a veil, a lover lying await in the shade.”

Out of My Hands

         “If I could hear your knock, brought back by my revery

         Each rap, each tap still committed to my memory

         But that’s up to you, darling, it’s all up to you

         And it’s the end I’m stalling, just for you

         And I love you, baby. I love you

         I hope you know I always will

         Even if it’s out of my hands.”

Wayne

         “There’s a new family in the trailer, I really wish I could believe it

         'Cause once I thought we'd buckle under the weight of all that labor

         No more scrounging up pennies for another first-aid kit

         And you’re not here, Wayne. No, you’re not here.”

Lighter

         “Give me back my lighter, any excuse to see you

         Let it flicker, sit by the flame from sunrise ’til noon

         Come running back, consider your exile foregone

         I choose you in the low glow of dusk, love you ‘til dawn.”

Makeup starting to smudge, an outrageously expensive crop top and skirt still on, you threw off your pumps and let your aching feet lead you to the kitchen. Your black, white, and neon orange plaid outfit reflected vibrantly off the refrigerator light as you decided instead to make crescent rolls. Why the fuck not? 

You were absolutely exhausted. Sleep hadn’t been an option for you in the last twenty-four hours, what with Corroded Coffin’s album keeping you awake and the promo you’d done all day. When you’d finally arrived back to your small California home, you were irritated and in desperate need of some food.

However, as the oven began to preheat, your jumbled thoughts kept piling on top of one another. The fog was too loud for you, having to rush to your living room to grab one of your many notebooks and pens. Sat at the island and just journaled.

It was hard enough knowing that Eddie had written all of that for you. About you. The disappointment, the self-loathing. The guilt of not feeling good enough. Searching through the past mistakes of his parents to make sense of the way you fell apart. As if that was the inevitable ending to any story he was destined to begin.

You felt sick.

And even though you ate every single crescent roll, your words just sunk into the page. You could’ve sworn a third of the notebook itself was smeared in grease and flakes and the intense shame rising in your chest. It was everything you’d hated about the last six months and more, all the goddamn childish emotions and wails of what was fair and what wasn’t. As if this hadn’t been your decision in the first place.

Enough was enough when you finished your plate.

“Okay,” you mumbled to yourself before letting out a sound of frustration. “Distraction. Now.”

Grabbing your laptop, you threw yourself on your couch and logged onto YouTube. Maybe you’d watch a deep dive on an amusement park. Catch up on some commentary. Look up that one video of baby sloths talking that usually had you crying from affection.

But there on the front page was an interview with Corroded Coffin on the new album. There’d already been over a million views despite being posted that morning. Something pooled in your abdomen as you saw the thumbnail, all the members posing together.

And you knew you shouldn’t.

But fuck it, what’s a little more salt to your never-ending wounds?

As you clicked on the video, some interviewer you hadn’t heard of popped up smiling before he spoke.

“Hi, my name is Marcus Sanderson and today I’m interviewing one of the most successful metal bands in recent history, Corroded Coffin. They have been hitting commercial success lately, after their incredible album, Fire Shroud, held electronic influences which have begun to redefine and evolve the genre for the modern age.

"Their most recent album, Elizabeth & Al, has only propelled them forward. I was given the rare opportunity to talk to Eddie, Jeff, Gareth, Grant, and Ronnie about not only their writing and producing process, but their personal lives. 

“First, we’ll open up with a cover of one of the band’s favorite songs of all time, ‘Solitude’ by Black Sabbath.”

It cut to the band and you couldn’t help a frustrated whine leaving your mouth at seeing him again. And, Jesus Christ, Eddie was fit like a daydream, donning a black Guns N’ Roses t-shirt with dark jeans and a long-sleeved plaid shirt tied at the waist. A shiny leather jacket, some custom-made Converse with Corroded Coffin across the bottom. Rings and bracelets galore, an obsidian choker hanging low on his neck. Black eyeliner that had wings along his lower lash line. 

You didn’t think you’d ever felt so fucking weak for him.

He stood without his guitar for once, his full attention on his singing. Jeff, Gareth, Grant, and Ronnie were all decked out too, makeup mirroring Eddie’s. All looking refreshed and well-rested. You noticed there was someone else there in the background playing the flute and as they started the song with a gentle solo, it sounded ethereal.

         “My name, it means nothing. My fortune is less

         My future is shrouded in dark wilderness.”

Eddie avoided the camera, eyes darting around the room. You could see his fingers shaking, white-knuckled around the microphone despite the stability of the stand. 

         “Sunshine is far away, clouds linger on

         Everything I possessed, now they are gone

         They are gone.”

Absentmindedly chewing on your lip, you couldn't help but let it sink in. This wasn't just the band's favorite Black Sabbath song—this was Eddie's. He'd told you how the song ripped him apart. How he'd rather die than to ever relate to it personally.

         “Oh, where can I go to and what can I do?

         Nothing can please me, only thoughts are of you

         You just left when I begged you to stay.”

He leaned back as he began to change the notes of the lyrics, his voice building into a belt. Like it was a wail, like he was the most furious man alive.

         “I’ve not stopped crying since you went away

         You went away…” 

The instrumental sounded, the flute having its own solo. Extending the moment, extending the devastation that was demolishing your soul.

Eddie was crying now, wiping the corners of his eyes in the background. Smearing his eyeliner like he didn't care, nose tinged pink through the makeup. And when he came back to the mic, you could see the pain sitting in his eyes. All glassy, all excruciatingly fragile.

         “The world is a lonely place, you’re on your own

         Guess I will go home, sit down and mourn

         Crying and thinking is all that I do

         Memories I have remind me of you

         Of you.”

The footage blurred, fading before cutting to Eddie sitting alone in a chair with the interviewer opposite him. Like they were in a house, all casual and at ease.

“We’re starting off by talking to the front man, Eddie Munson,” Marcus said to the camera, smiling before turning his attention back to Eddie. “It’s nice to see you, man. You look great.”

Eddie chuckled. “Great to be back.”

Marcus nodded. “That cover of ‘Solitude’ was incredible, by the way.”

You could see some color flood into Eddie’s cheeks. “Ah, thanks. Thank you.”

“Do you feel like you’ve been in a period of solitude?”

“Uh, to be honest, kinda. I know people are, like, freaking out just ‘cause I haven’t been in public.”

“Where’ve you been?”

“Just making sure I’m focused on the work,” He gestured to himself before mimicking a pushing motion “and not on the external stuff, you know?”

“As we all should. Would you tell me a bit about your new album? Personally, I’m curious as to why you specifically named it Elizabeth & Al.”

“Yeah, uh, those are my parents’ names. My mom passed away when I was a kid and my dad…well, he wasn’t the best. But I just couldn’t stop thinking about what happens when two people who love each other just end up falling apart. Like, you just feel like you’re as good as dead, you know? And I wondered if my parents had that sort of crash and burn before she died.

“I don’t talk about it much, but my dad had a lot of issues with addiction and gambling and crime after my mom died. I didn’t grow up with the generic parent bleep. It was more like I was his friend than a son and sometimes I was a business partner. And, I don’t know, I grew up thinking that love could’ve been so simple if he gave just a little bit of effort. But I still thought he and my mom had a simple love.”

“I’m guessing they didn’t.”

Eddie let out a shaky laugh. “Yeah, no. My dad was never really good at maintaining, like, any kind of control. And it’s so weird ‘cause all he ever did was try to have control over things. But it was self-sabotage, I think. He was never in control over his life. It felt so predestined.”

“What about your mom?”

He shrugged. “I’m not really sure. I think she just wanted love. Like, grasping for that shred of love that he provided every once in a while. ‘Cause it’s not like my dad was incapable of love. Just incapable of giving her everything. Maybe I’m projecting now, but you know what I mean.”

“So, is this album from the perspective of your parents?”

“Not exactly,” Eddie said, shaking his head. “They’re kinda just the reflection, you know? Like what I say on ‘A Mirage of Lovers’. Our parents end up being a kind of mirror we hold up to ourselves. And I think it’s up to us to decide if we’ll continue that cycle or not—especially in the face of heartbreak and loss. ‘Cause you can easily sit there and accuse yourself of being like your father or your mother. But ultimately, you’re just you. You’re not your parents.”

“And you wrote all of this within the last six months, correct?”

“Yeah, it was weird. Like, I just couldn’t stop writing. I was in such a dark place and the only thing I did was sit and write. And the band is so bleeping incredible. I showed them what I was thinking, and they were super, super receptive to it. And we got to work and got it done faster than anything else we’ve made.”

Marcus smiled, something genuine and real, shaking his head in disbelief. “That timeline really does shock me, just because it’s so seamless. There’s all these tiny details and every song just flows into one another.”

“Thanks, man. That means a lot. We kinda thought that having all the songs connect was sorta like, um, a stream of consciousness, essentially.” He started gesturing with his hands and you knew he was getting more comfortable. It almost made you smile. “Like, these thoughts all run together in a big loop. Like having one of those corkboards with all the evidence and red strings, you know? All of it just ends up running together and there’s no concrete answer. It just is.

“And, man. Jeff, Gareth, Grant, and Ronnie are just the best. They know me better than almost anyone and they seemed to automatically get what they needed to do. Just, like, boom, boom, boom. One after the other, we just got everything right. No one else helped produce this album and I think it shows just how much we’ve learned and evolved over our careers.” 

You felt something freeze inside you when the interviewer mentioned your name.

Eddie tried his best to seem unaffected, but you knew he was starting to squirm. You could see the top of his knee as it bounced.

“Are you two still together?” Marcus asked. “What’s the story there?”

Eddie’s eyes wandered the room, probably trying to calculate the best way to go. You selfishly wanted him to say nothing about the breakup, to refuse to confirm that it was truly over. 

He cleared his throat before scratching his temple. 

“My relationship with her is private and just between us. It always has. But I guess since I finally have a chance to say whatever I want to say, I want to make it very clear that the way the media has treated her has been just disgusting and unwarranted. She is not some plastic, shiny doll for everyone to point and laugh at."

Eddie then straightened his posture as he looked straight into the camera. "Oh, and let me be clear. If you’re sitting there talking about her bleeping body, then you are a piece of bleeping bleep and I hope you burn in hell.”  

Just like that, Marcus Sanderson moved on, the shot cutting away to a shot of the rest of the band sitting on a couch. But you weren’t listening anymore. Your head was swirling with a concoction of disbelief and epiphanies. Something…clicked.

Because you’d never had a partner mention you on a public scale. Never had a partner willing to scream your love from the top of the world and still retain privacy. Never had someone so willing to defend you despite your faults. Despite your arguments and downfalls.

And you were realizing that you…had done none of that for Eddie.

You’d sat there, in a dreamy haze because Eddie gave you everything he had. But had you really done any of those things back? Had you given him an ounce of what he gave you? 

You thought back to the AMAs, when you walked around your answers. Nearly yelled at him for standing up for you. Dropped his hand when he wanted to tell you how proud he was. Hell, you even broke up with him because of what other people said. He thought you wanted nothing from him, that you weren’t interested anymore. 

You never even said you loved him to his face.

You treated him exactly the way all your past partners treated you.

Eddie Munson had given you his world and you’d given him a fraction.

“I fucked up,” you whispered before you really processed what was happening. “I FUCKED UP!” you screeched, scrambling to stand up and check your phone. 

1:13am.

Immediately dropped it, watching it slide under the couch.

“FUCK!” you screamed again.

Dropping to your knees and enduring the carpet burn, you reached down and felt around for your phone. But you froze as you felt something else, something smaller in size. Pulled it out, recognizing Eddie’s lighter immediately. 

You flicked the lighter on, only encountering sparks the first two times. But when you watched it transform into a flame, something in your chest began to ache. It was the kindling of a once-wet fireplace, the first stroke of fire you’d felt in months. Teardrops fell freely down your chest as you found the will to fight.

Fight for what you knew you could never live without.

Fight for Eddie.

Give me back my lighter, any excuse to see you

Come running back, consider your exile foregone

Without any thought, you stuffed it into your top, found your phone, and popped up to search for some socks. Barely registered the color before yanking them on. You didn’t care how dressed up you were or how oily your face felt. How exhausted your body was or the residue of a crescent roll sticking to the side of your mouth.

You had to get to wherever Eddie was, and you had to get there now. If you didn’t talk to him tonight, you didn’t know if you’d make it to daylight.

But where was he?

The thought made you pause, hands shaking as you thought.

And before the panic could completely consume you, you called the one person who seemed to know everything.

“Woah, hello there.”

“Jeff.” 

“Hey, long time no see. Where you been?”

“Jeff, I’m sorry, but I really need you to tell me if Eddie is in California right now.”

“Uh, yeah, he is.” You tugged your white Keds on, breathing a sigh of relief. “He’s been holed up in his place for the last few days. Why?”

“I just need to talk to him,” you said, nearly out of breath as you started sprinting to the garage. “I need to talk to him.”

“Ever thought about calling?”

“Nope.”

Jeff’s laughter rang through the receiver. “You’re crazy, girl. I’ll give you that one.” A huff left your nose as you climbed into your car. “You gonna tell him you’re in love with him?”

“Yeah, yeah I am.”

“Finally.”

“Are you mad at me?” you asked, dreading any answer he’d give.

“Not at all. Just don’t leave him hanging this time, okay? He hasn’t been okay in a really long time.”

“Neither have I. I’m hoping to fix this and let it stay fixed.”

“Go get your man.”

As the garage door lifted, you noticed the pouring rain.

Of course it started fucking storming within the last hour and a half you’d been home. Of fucking course.

“Bye, Jeff,” you said quickly.

“Bye, girl!”

As you filed out of your driveway, a black SUV was already pulling out behind you. The protection was part of the job. You knew this. But sometimes, you just wanted to tell Scott that you had shit to do on your own.

But there was no time for this.

You just continued to drive, letting the soft hum of “The Long And Winding Road” by The Beatles lead you right back to the very place you knew you belonged.

“Scott,” James acknowledged.

“James.”

It felt like a showdown, Scott stepping in front of you at the gates. As soon as you’d arrived, you’d been prevented from pulling into the driveway. And it was James who’d crossed his arms over his dauntingly ripped chest, staring you down like you’d committed a crime.

You couldn’t blame him.

“What’s the situation?”

You tried not to roll your eyes. “I need to talk to Eddie.”

“It’s two in the morning. Kid finally fell asleep for once.”

“Let her in, James,” Scott said. “They’re people. Just let them figure it out on their own without us.”

“I really want to fix this,” you explained, earning a lifted eyebrow from James. “He’s everything to me and I know I screwed up. I know that. But I want to at least try to mend this. I’m a fucking idiot. Just…please.” Your eyes began to water. “Please let me try.”

James gave you a hard stare for what felt like ten minutes. Like he was assessing the risk. 

But then he opened the gate, stepping to the side. 

“Thank you,” you breathed, rushing past him to the door.

You knocked quite rapidly, your heartbeat matching the pace. Heard it pulse in your ears. Teetered on each foot as the adrenaline continued to catapult you further into madness. Waiting and waiting and waiting until— 

There he was, barely visible in the glow of the front porch light, eyes squinting. Messy curls frizzing, wearing a white t-shirt and gray sweatpants. No accessories, no socks on his feet.

It seemed like he finally registered it was you when he straightened his posture. Eddie gazed down at your body and back up again, eyes widening with every passing second. 

“Hey,” you finally whispered.

“Hey.”

bless @strangergraphics for always having the sickest dividers.

[hogoflight]

WHAT IF APOLLO KEPT DISOBEYING ZEUS AND HE HAD ENOUGH AND WENT “FINE THEN!! I’LL TURN YOU INTO SOMETHING THAT CAN’T TALK!!” AND HE GETS TURNED INTO A TALKING OBJECT*.

*Arrow of Dodona rules apply.

Cannot decide which one I like more:

Bow bc he’s Apollo ofc. But also so he could have BEEF with the arrow of Dodona (alright fine also maybe romantic tension for YOU out there. You know who you are. Bow x arrow). This could also be neat as a convenient Segway into bringing along an Apollo kid (to use the bow) and making them spend more time with each other. And exploring a lot more of the “Apollo being an absent father” and the effect it’s had on his kids AND his dedication and willingness to show them he loves them so so much AND HIS PROMISE TO DO BETTER!!

However also: a different sword for Meg. Acts as both an emotional out from Nero (Apollo talking to her, being her bestie) and as a metaphorical out (learning that she can succeed and thrive without the weapons given to her by Nero and the fighting style he made her develop to execute people etc. so he can’t manipulate her by going “you can’t live without me… look at everything I did for you…” etc. Also focusing more on self-defence instead of brutality, etc.) also we get sunflower siblings!!

It’s so funny to think about a version where everything is exactly the same but Apollo is just an object now. Eg the three-legged race but Meg is loosely tied to Apollo who is being dragged on the floor. His kids gently tuck in a bow into bed (he is crying and. And. And. Quiveri-). The sea serpent in the dark prophecy trying their darnedest to strangle a sword. Need I go on.

What if he also speaks in horrible Shakespearean and will not stop swearing HE’S SO SO ANGRY. but I also like him speaking exclusively languages that have historically been spoken nationally across Greece. But also English with a heavy Greek accent.

Commodus is throwing knives at a target but the picture is just of a bigger knife.

The wielder of Apollo goes “he keeps bothering me with his cursed whispers.” “Please please please stick a cucumber under Seymour’s big cat head I despise him! In fact I hate all cats because they remind me of myself. OHO, WHOOPS let me explain-“

WHEN MEG SEES APOLLO AS A PHYSICAL PERSON FOR THE FIRST TIME. SHE’S LIKE “YOU’RE REAL.” “YEAH??” “I can punch you for real now.” AND THEN THEY HUG :(((((

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

Boston Bears: Off-Limits - Rugby Player!Chris x Reader (Part 1)

A/N: Since today is the first day of the Rugby World Cup, I thought there was no better day to start this AU!

Summary: After moving across the country to escape one rugby player, you find yourself in bed with another...

Word Count: 8.1k

Warnings: Angst! Fluff! Alcohol Consumption! SMUT! 18+ ONLY! Use of Sex Toys! Oral Sex! MINORS DNI!

Rugby Explained

Dividers by Me!

Series Masterlist / Masterlist

Chapter 1

The atmosphere in the stadium was buzzing. Even hours before a match, before the fans or even the players turned up, you could feel it. That buzz that made every nerve ending tingle and it only got more intense as the stadium filled up.

You could feel in your bones that today was going to be a good day, the dreariness of winter was beginning to disappear, well as dreary as it could get in LA anyway. The sun was shining and you knew the team were in top form, with multiple players coming back from injury just in time for the lead-up to the playoffs. Every match from this moment on counted, every point counted. There could be no room for mistakes.

You had already ensured your medical bag was fully packed and ready to go, you had multiple brands of tape because rugby players could get picky. You had rendezvoused with the paramedics that would be on site and hopefully not needed. The last thing you needed to do was go to the changing rooms to check if anyone needed strapping up.

You hadn’t even reached the changing rooms and you could hear the raucous team inside. LA was a pretty loud team, not many of them had a quiet pregame ritual, they riled each other up and became almost animalistic ready for the clashing.

But today something sounded different. The tone was different and before you even heard what they were saying you knew it was something they shouldn’t be discussing. When you actually heard what it was they were talking about you froze.

They were talking about you. And not in a nice normal way, talking about how you patched them up or helped them recover from their injuries. No, they were talking about you, about things that only a partner ever should know about. And that was exactly who was doing all the talking.

“Yeah I mean is she the best I’ve had? Fuck no. But if it helps me unwind, yeah I’ll go” Bryce’s voice boomed through the door making you nearly choke.

You had been dating Bryce for a couple of months now. When you joined the LA Lions last season you were excited to work with The Bryce Langley. He was a player with no shortage of fans, you had seen plenty of thirsty collages made in his honour. You had to admit that you also had a serious crush on him, along with many dirty thoughts about him. So when he approached you at the Christmas party and finally started returning your affections you were over the moon and you were seeing stars when he took you back to his place.

You had expected it to just be a one-time thing but to your surprise, he kept coming back. Your rendezvous became a regular occurrence. He asked to keep it secret and on the down low since he needed to focus on the second half of the season, he didn’t need his fan girls turning on him when they found out he was taken he had said. He promised that you would be exclusive so you agreed, you also wanted to delay the inevitable teasing you’d get from the team too.

You listened in as they continued to question him, the details getting more and more specific and at no point did Bryce stop answering them. 

“So you two exclusive?” You heard Brad ask.

“Hell no you can’t keep this guy down!” Bryce laughed and you just knew he was pointing at his dick “fuck I had a blonde just the other day, best lay ever” You let out a scoff of disbelief, all that talk of not seeing anyone else then was bullshit then.

Unable to hear any more you turned on your heel and made your way back towards the medical room. You only got so far though when you bumped into the head coach.

“Any of the guys need strapping up?” He asked you. 

“Oh um I dunno” you mutter scratching the top of your head “forgot some tape so just heading back to grab it” 

The coach nods slapping your shoulder as he passed “Cool, be quick” he states as he walks away.

“Yep” you say clearing your throat when you heard how weak you sounded.

Rushing the rest of the way to the medical room, breathing out a deep sigh of relief when you found it empty. You dumped your bag on the bed before bracing your hands on the edge, your head dropping as you took in a deep and shaky breath.

It was just locker room talk. Literally. It's what guys did. You had to expect it, did you really think Bryce wouldn’t talk about you? Well, you had expected him to talk when the secret was finally out, just not in that detail because it was no one else business. You tried to calm your mind that was screaming that you had been violated. What he said had been over-exaggerated, more false than true. But there was still the truth, and the others wouldn’t know otherwise.

They’d forget soon enough though. They’d be on the pitch thinking and breathing rugby, and then after they’d be getting drunk celebrating or getting drunk to drown their sorrows. It would be old news soon enough, you just had to weather this storm. You could weather this storm. 

Grabbing your bag you stood up straight and held your chin up high. You could do this. You repeated that mantra as you walked back to the changing rooms. The more you repeated your mantra the less convincing you sounded. So when you reached the changing room you took one last steadying breath before pushing inside.

The entire room fell silent as you walked in, the entire team and coaching staff looking over at you. It felt like you had just stepped out onto a stage, the spotlight on you. No, it was worse than that, because it felt like you were naked. Eyes roaming over your body, picturing all the details that Bryce had told them.

The head coach cleared his throat “Brad needs his ankle strapping” he told you before returning to the pre-match speech.

You quickly nodded your head, keeping your gaze on the floor as you walked over to where Brad was sitting in his little cubby. The back-rower filled up the entire cubby his shoulder so broad, he smirked as you crouched down in front of him, his green eyes twinkling with mischief. 

You kept your eyes down as you grabbed the tape he favoured from your bag and began to strap up his ankle. Telling yourself to focus on your job, not what could be running through his head right now.

“Hey,” he whispered getting your attention by nudging your leg with his other boot “What you doing after the game?” He asked once you looked up.

“Nothing, just going home” you answered, looking back down at the job at hand.

“Aw not gonna celebrate with us?” He says his tone disappointed.

“You have to win first” you point up, barely glancing back up at him.

“Don’t you worry about that peach” he smirks tapping you on the tip of your nose “I’ve heard you’re a lot of fun, so c’mon come out with us”

You swallowed as you felt bile rising in your throat, quickly finishing your work packing up your bag and standing up “I’m good thanks” you state before turning on your heel and hurrying away.

“All good?” The coach asked as you walked over.

“Uh… yeah… anyone else needs anything?” You ask shouldering your bag more.

“No we’re good, why don’t you go make sure everything pitch side is sorted?” He suggests glancing over your shoulder.

“Yeah of course, thank you” you mutter, breathing out a sigh of relief at the escape he was giving you.

“No worries, office is always open,” he tells you, giving you a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

You whisper another thanks, sniffling hoping the tears that were welling up weren’t too obvious. Not waiting a second more you made your way out of the changing room and away from your personal hell.

Despite the fresh air giving you a bit of reprieve, as soon as the team made their way out to begin warming up that sick feeling was back. Your ears felt hot and you could feel eyes on your back, sure enough whenever you turned around you’d spot a couple of players looking your way. Some had the decency to quickly look away, others would just smirk back at you. Brad even ran his hand through his blond hair and sent you a suggestive wink.

When the match started you found yourself praying that nobody would get injured. Something you normally did because you didn’t want a player to get injured but today you really didn’t want to go onto the pitch to fix them up. You didn’t want to give them any ammunition.

You weren’t that lucky though, cursing under your breath when you saw Bryce get up from a tackle limping. You took a deep breath as you grabbed your bag and ran onto the pitch. Bryce had already back down on the floor wincing.

“What’s up?” You ask when you reach him.

“Just cramp but fuck it hurts like a bitch” he grumbles as he rubs his calf.

“Right,” you state as you grab his injured leg and begin to stretch and massage the muscle.

“Jesus gently” Bryce complains, his head resting against the ground.

“You want the cramp the go or not” you snap back at him.

He frowns up at you “What’s put you in a bad mood?” He huffs.

You scoff shaking your head at him, not even giving him the dignity of a response. Did he not realise how shitty it was to tell the team what he did? Did he not see it as an invasion of privacy?

“That better?” You ask once you felt the leg muscle begin to relax.

“Yeah,” he grumbled as he sat back up.

“Good, drink more water you’re clearly dehydrated” you state chucking a water bottle at him harshly.

“Jesus sort your attitude out will you” he huffs as he stands back up and takes a large gulp of water.

“Fuck you” you whispered harshly as you snatched the bottle back and stormed back off the field.

When you reached the home team pitch side base you caught the head coach watching you with his brow arched. A questioning look on his face.

“He’s fine” you tell him before moving back to your seat busying yourself with your pack.

For the rest of the match, every time you had to go onto the pitch you were subject to wandering eyes or suggestive comments. By the end, even the team’s victory did little to elevate the pain you were feeling.

So you made your way to the head coach’s office tears brimming in your eyes as you walked in “We need to talk” you managed.

Chris took a deep breath, the silence of the stadium deafening as he prepared for the kick. He got himself into that peaceful, laser-focused zone. The rest of the world melted away, all that remained was him, the ball and the posts. The crowd could be screaming and he wouldn’t notice.

All that mattered was that the ball went between the posts. The Boston Bears were currently 2 points down against the Toronto Arrows with just seconds to go in the match. A last-second penalty gave rise to this last chance to get ahead. If Chris scored right now the 3 points would win them the match.

He was faintly aware of the timer going red signalling the end of the 80 minutes. After this kick, the match would be over. After this kick, he would walk off either victorious or kicking himself for missing.

His eyes glanced between the ball and the posts and back again. He found the spot he was aiming for, a man in the stands wearing a red bobble hat, if he aimed there it would go in, inches on either side could mean missing the posts, especially with the harsh angle he was forced to work with.

Taking one last breath he began his run up, his boot connecting with the ball with a resounding thud. It felt good as his boot moved through the ball, sending it flying towards the posts. But Chris didn’t take his eyes off the ball, everyone in the stadium held their breaths. 

Cheers erupted as the ball went through the posts, securing the 3 points. Chris let out a heavy sigh of relief, his shoulders and head dropping as the pressure left his body. His team came racing over to him. He barely had any time to prepare as Jensen, the scum half on the team, launched himself as Chris for a celebratory hug. 

Even though Jensen was much slimmer in build and shorter by a couple of inches, the force at which he jumped on Chris still had him taking a step back.

Chris laughed as he hugged his friend back before turning his attention to the rest of his teammates. The entire crowd was raucously cheering and celebrating, the few visiting fans making a quick exit. Some of his teammates were looking back at the crowd, cheering and celebrating with them.

As Chris turned to join them, Ari appeared by his side the second-row player wrapping his large arm around Chris’ neck putting him in a chokehold and messing up his hair.

“Never doubted you for a second Cap” Ari grinned as they walked over to where the rest of the team was now celebrating with the crowd. 

“Wouldn’t blame you if you did Levs” Chris snorts shaking his head, it didn’t matter if he’d taken a kick like that a hundred times, at the angle it was always going to be a 50/50 chance.

The rest of his teammates congratulated him on winning them the match. Chris responded each time by saying it was a team effort that put the points on the board. He spent the next 5 to 10 minutes walking around the pitch with the team, clapping with the crowds, appreciating their supporters before he was pulled away to give a post-match interview.

“Play nice” the PR manager warned as Chris let out a quiet groan when she pulled him away.

“I do play nice, at least I talk, unlike Axe who just grunts” Chris argues nodding over to Curtis who despite the win still had a frown on his face.

“It’ll be 5 minutes and then you can go celebrate and drink all the beer you want” she says patting him on the shoulder before pushing him towards the press.

Chris forces a smile as he walks over to the press, this was the part of sports he wished didn’t exist. He didn’t want to discuss a match that everyone had just watched with their own eyes, the questions were usually pretty basic and superficial too which he hated. It was the main reason he was so hesitant to become Captain. the responsibility was also a major factor he felt more comfortable with that now in his second season in the position. But the press element that he always had to do would always grate him.

“Chris! That was one nail-biter of a match, what was going through your head as you lined up that kick?” The reporter asks.

“That I better get it between the posts” Chris answers fighting the urge to roll his eyes, at least his answer got a laugh from the reporters.

“The scoreboard was pretty close in that second half, but you managed to clinch that win with that kick,” another reporter says.

Chris waits a moment to hear what the actual question was but only gets an expectant look in response, he lets out a long sigh “Yeah I mean all the guys worked hard to get back in the game, if it wasn’t for them the kick would have meant nothing, can’t take all the credit” he comments.

“Do you feel confident going into the final stretch towards the playoffs?” Another reporter calls out.

“We’re in a good position” Chris nods, he then spots the PR Manager glaring daggers at him so he elaborates “We’ve got areas to improve on and errors to correct but I feel confident that we can go all the way” 

“We’ll all be rooting for you, we’ll let you go celebrate but not before presenting you with the player of the match,” one of the lead reporters says as someone steps forward with the player of the match medal.

Chris nods and smiles as he accepts the medal despite not believing he deserved it. There were many others on the team that were more instrumental in the match than he was. Just because he got the winning kick didn’t mean he deserved it, so much so that as soon as he stepped away he removed it from around his neck.

He made his way back towards the locker rooms where the rest of the team already were. They were all cheering and celebrating when he walked in which help push away the dark press cloud that had settled over him. He walked over to Johnny who was standing on one of the benches slapping the roof as he celebrated.

“Oi Storm!” Chris called out getting Johnny’s attention “Congrats” he says tossing Johnny the player of the match medal.

“Really?” Johnny asks his eyes wide as he caught the medal.

“Yeah you deserve it more than me with that hat trick you scored” Chris nods, it had become some form of tradition for him to give up his medal for another teammate, he knew it meant a lot to them. He’d probably only kept a few and that was when no one on the team would accept it and forced him to keep it.

“Thanks cap” Johnny grins as he loops the medal around his neck and continues celebrating.

Chris chuckled as he sat down in his cubby and pulled out his phone to see the deluge of texts from his friends and family congratulating him for the win. He answered a couple, specifically his parents and siblings before chucking it away so he could change out of his kit and hit the showers. 

He’d just slipped off his boots when Coach Y/L/N walk in alongside a few other of the training staff. Chris sat back ready to hear what he had to say to the team, there was a smile on the coach’s face but Chris knew he wasn’t pleased with the team’s performance out there. 

“Well done team, that was a hard-fought win out there, we got the bonus points thanks to Storm's hat trick” Coach starts nodding over to Johnny who bowed graciously earning a slap on the back of the head from Ari “but the score line should not have been that tight, stupid mistakes were made and too many penalties given away, that needs to stop if you want to get to the playoffs” he continues his voice hard as he scanned the team “we got lucky with that penalty kick, we can’t rely on luck in the playoffs, so enjoy celebrating tonight you deserve it but don’t celebrate too hard I don’t want anyone still suffering with a 2-day hangover on Monday,” he says sending a pointed look certain members of the team who were known wildcards.

“Don’t worry coach, Evans will keep us in check” Ari smirks over at Chris.

“Nah I’m going home,” Chris says with a shake of his head.

“Oh c’mon cap you gotta celebrate with us!” Johnny complains.

“Keep them in check Evans,” Coach Y/L/N says pointing over at him.

Chris lets out a small quiet groan “Sure thing sir” he sighs.

“Good, have fun and I’ll see you all bright and early on Monday” Coach says before heading out of the changing room.

“Right, time to pre-game” Johnny says slapping his hands together before grabbing a cooler and beginning to hand out beers.

Chris accepts the bottle held out to him, he would go out but only for a couple. He trusted the guys not to go too crazy, at least not so crazy that they’d still be hungover come Monday. Popping the lid he took a long swig before grabbing his phone to ask his mom to feed Dodger for him.

Soon enough the whole team were showered and changed, making their way out. They all stopped to take photos and sign shirts for the fans that were still hanging around, even Curtis, maybe the win had put him in a good mood. Once they were done they then made their way to their favoured spot, Ruck Bottom, the only rugby-themed bar in all of Boston. 

It was a little dingy being an underground bar but Chris loved it. It was full of his kind of people and Rugby fans, but they never bothered the team. It was the perfect place to celebrate or commiserate following a match.

The team had set up base at their usual spot in the bar, Chris had stayed with them for a while before moving over to the bar under the pretence he was getting another beer.

“Hey, not in the celebrating mood tonight?” Jensen says slapping Chris on the shoulder as he slides onto the stool beside him.

Chris shakes his head “Not particularly” he says honestly “we-I didn’t play well” 

“Yeah we made some dumb mistakes and this isn’t really my scene either” Jensen admits with a shrug of his shoulders as he looks around the bar “rather just sit at home with a couple of pals and some cold ones”

A smile tugs at Chris’ lips as he looks over at his best friend “Here, here” he says tapping his beer bottle against Jensen’s. 

“But we did deserve the win so celebrate, maybe pick up a hot chick and send her friend my way” Jensen says wiggling his eyebrows.

Chris snorts shaking his head “I’ll keep that in mind, thanks Jensen” 

“No worries, and next time we can just play video games at mine, just no Mario Kart,” Jensen says as he gets back up.

“Scared I’ll beat you again?” Chris asks with a knowing chuckle.

“You promised to never speak of that” Jensen states his tone suddenly serious.

The look he gave Chris just made him laugh even more “Sure, now go on, I’ll be back over in a few” Chris laughs.

The goofy grin Jensen was known for soon returned as he patted Chris on the shoulder before making his way back over to the rest of the team. Not before not so subtly nodding to a group of girls nearby, all of which were eying different members of the team.

Chris just rolled his eyes, Chris knew this game well enough to know those girls were only there for the players. They weren’t real fans of the game and only wanted the bragging rights. While Jensen could talk the talk, Chris knew he wouldn’t handle a one-night thing like that well.

Chris returned to his beer taking a few more sips, planning on ordering one more before heading back over to the team. He had only just finished his drink when someone new slid into the seat next to him.

“Congratulations on the win, can I buy you a drink?” The woman said.

Chris’ eyes shifted over towards her and instantly began studying her. She was different to all the other girls here at the bar. While they were all dressed up for a night out, she looked like she’d been somewhere before and wasn’t planning on coming out. Her white tee and blue jeans, a stark contrast to the dresses and tight skirts everywhere else wore. That being said she was definitely the best-looking girl in the bar, she was stunning now and Chris bet she was devastating when fully done up.

“Thanks,” Chris said as he waved down the bartender “Rugby fan?” 

She nods “Big Rugby fan from a rugby family, guess you could say it was our family business” she says with a shrug of her shoulders “I’m Y/N” you say holding out your hand.

“Chris” Chris smiles shaking your hand “What do you want?” He then asks nodding to the bartender.

“Same as you,” you say nodding to his beer bottle as you move to grab your purse.

“Sure, two more please and put it on my tab” Chris says to the bartender.

You arch a brow “I thought I was buying you a drink” you point out.

“Yeah but my ma would kill me if she found out I didn’t pay for a lady’s drink” Chris argues with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Well I guess I owe you then” you say accepting your beer from the bartender.

“Guess so” Chris smirks as he takes a sip of his beer, as he does so he studies you again for a moment and decides to test you to see if you really were a true rugby fan “So how do you think we played tonight?” 

You take another sip before taking a deep breath “Honestly? First half was awful, too many missed tackles it was like you guys had just woken up from a nap, and don’t get me started on the Axe’s yellow card!” You exclaim making Chris chuckle “I know he’s ruthless but he was lucky it wasn’t a red! Right in front of the ref too” 

“Careful he might hear you” Chris playfully warns.

You just shrug “I’ve not lied, he needs to be careful if you wanna get to the playoffs, don’t want him to get a ban” you point out “But the second half was good, you definitely worked hard and clawed it back, Storm’s hat trick was insane and your kick at the end was perfect, I’ve seen lots of fly-halfs crack under pressure and miss a kick like that” you continue.

Chris nods appreciatively, you definitely knew your stuff “So you watch us play often?” He asks taking another sip of your beer.

You shake your head “No, I’ve only just moved from LA, but I caught as many games as I could on ESPN” you explain.

“Wow long way to move, what brought you to rainy New England?” Chris asks.

“A job, it was kinda last minute but definitely the right move even if I am already missing the LA heat,” You tell him.

“What do you do?” Chris asks.

“I’m a medic,” you say as you take another sip of your beer.

“Admirable” Chris nods before leaning in closer “Now I have to ask because I can feel his stare burning holes in my back, but you don’t happen to have a friend for my friend Jensen?” 

You arch a brow before shifting so you could peer over his shoulder to where Jensen was sitting with the rest of the team, not so casually trying to eavesdrop.

“No sorry, my only close friend is back in LA and she’s engaged,” you say with a small shake of your head.

Chris shrugs “Oh well at least I can say I asked” he says taking a sip of his beer.

The two of you continued talking Rugby for a little bit, discussing the other team’s performances in the League. You had a lot of good insights into the LA Lions which Chris found helpful considering they were their main rival for the championship cup. What surprised Chris was that the conversation easily and naturally flowed away from Rugby and onto other topics. His plan of heading back to the team was completely abandoned because he was having so much fun with you. 

“Now,” you say finishing the rest of your beer “I know a pretty cool place where I can get us some free drinks” 

Chris arches a brow “Oh really where?” 

“My place” you smirk making Chris chuckle, that was very smooth “The only downside is non-members can’t stay the night”

That made Chris laugh out loud “How do I become a member?” he asks.

You shake your head “I can’t tell you, you just have to earn it” you tell him. 

Chris gives you a lopsided smile and nods his head “Okay… okay… I like a challenge and I do like the sound of free drinks so sure” he says waving down the bartender to settle his tab. 

You had no clue what you were doing or why you were even doing it. You had been so burnt by a rugby player before, so much so that you fled across the country and now you were taking another back to your place. As you got closer to your apartment the more you began to question it, but every time you looked up at Chris and saw his sweet genuine smile as he talked to you, you remembered how different he was to Bryce.  

You took a deep breath and reassured yourself. Chris wasn’t Bryce. What Bryce did was humiliating but you shouldn't have to change your behaviour. You couldn’t let him get to you, you just had to get back on the horse, or in this case… a different horse. 

“You alright?” Chris then asked pulling you from your thoughts. 

“Hm?” you hum in confusion. 

“You just seemed to zone out for a moment, look if you’ve changed your mind then it's cool,” Chris says stopping and turning to face you holding his hands up “I’ll just walk you back so I know you’re home safe and then I get a cab home”

You felt the feeling of dread completely seep away as you looked back up at him and saw the sincerity in his eyes. Yeah, Chris was nothing like Bryce. One, Bryce wouldn't have even noticed you closing in on yourself and two, if he did he wouldn't have cared he would have just ploughed on so he could get his fill. 

“I’m good, just got a little chilly for a moment, but thank you” you smile reassuringly. 

Without a word, Chris shrugged off his jacket and placed it around your shoulders “Better?” 

“Much better thank you, we’re not that far away” you smile tugging Chris’ jacket around you more as you nod up the street in the direction of your apartment building. 

“I’m used to the cold” Chris winks making you chuckle. 

Soon enough you were at your apartment building and unlocking the door. As Chris stepped inside he let out a quiet whistle as he looked around at all the boxes. 

“When you said you’d only just moved, you really have only just moved” he chuckles. 

“Yeah, my dad is stopping around tomorrow to help me unpack” you explain as you walk into the kitchen as grab a bottle of scotch and two tumblers. 

“Hence the no-overnight rule” Chris nods in understanding as you pass him his drink. 

“Yep, can’t risk sleeping in” you chuckle as you take a sip of your scotch “I have unpacked all the essentials though,” you say with a suggestive wink. 

“And by essentials you mean?” Chris smirks taking a step closer to you. 

You take another large sip of your scotch, practically draining the glass “Toiletries, a few kitchen bits, booze… toys” 

“I do like a good toy” Chris smirks, his voice deepening, the blue in his eyes disappearing as his pupils dilated. 

“Not threatened?” you ask arching a brow, toys were always a no-go with Bryce.

“Never” Chris grins as he downs the rest of his glass in one gulp, he then takes your glass from you and sets them both down on a nearby box “Still wanna play?” 

Your heart was beating in your chest, arousal already pooling at your core as you breathed out “Yes”

Chris instantly responded, surging forward, his large hands cupping your cheeks as he crashes his lips against yours. You instantly melted into the kiss your hands gripping his top to keep you upright. Fuck he was such a good kisser, it was like he had magic lips. You instantly started wondering what those magic lips could do elsewhere. 

Gripping onto his shirt you pulled him backwards towards your bedroom. You bumped into and knocked over boxes as you went but you didn’t care, you just focused on unbuttoning his shirt. Chris had a similar sentiment because he’d already tugged your white tee up and over your head. One large hand cupped your breast over your bra while the other gripped your jaw to keep you exactly where he wanted.

When the back of your knees hit the bed you didn’t have a chance to do anything before Chris hooked one hand behind your knees and swiftly lifted you onto the bed. The bed creaked as you landed and Chris climbed on top of you. You cupped his jaw as his lips met yours for another, more heated and deeper kiss, one that drew moans from you and had your back arching into his touch. Something he took advantage of by unhooking your bra.

Only then did he pull back, a lopsided grin growing on his face as his eyes scanned over your body. Your nerves got the better of you as you shifted to cover up, but before you got the chance to Chris bit his lips and shook his head.

“Fuck you’re so hot” he groaned.

You let out a small huff, shaking your head at the compliment. Chris responded by gripping your chin and forcing you to meet his gaze.

“You’re so fucking hot” he repeated as he leaned back down to press a kiss to your neck “So. unbelievably. fucking. hot”

All the nerves you had disappeared as he continued to kiss and worship your body. He left no stone unturned as he worked his way down, learning how to play your body and make it sing. 

When he reached the waistband of your jeans he looked up at you, his eyebrow arched in a silent question. You knew your answer immediately, if he didn’t get your jeans off and start doing something down there you were going to explode. 

“Yes, fuck yes” you moaned, bucking your hips into his touch.

Chris chuckled and gave you a wolfish grin as he unbuttoned your jeans and began to pull them and your underwear down. He hooked a hand behind your knee, parting your legs and letting out a low groan when he caught sight of your arousal. You were pretty sure he murmured another ‘fucking beautiful’ but all logical thought disappeared when he pressed a kiss to your core. 

You were already seeing stars in your eyes and you hadn’t even hit your peak yet, you were starting to think you might not even survive a Chris-induced orgasm. Had you even had sex before Chris? Because if this was sex then everything else you’d be doing was wrong, everyone else had been wrong. 

“Shit- fuck- don’t stop right there” you moaned your thighs clenching around his head, his beard burning the inside of your thighs. 

Chris listened to your pleading, something Bryce never did, and didn’t change a thing, not even the tempo. Whenever you told Bryce you were close he just got more intense which never helped, you were lucky if you got off. All thoughts of Bryce disappeared as something snapped within you and you were hit with an earth-shattering orgasm.

You weren’t sure how long you had been lost in the post-orgasm bliss but when your vision cleared you could see Chris sitting back on his heels, a shit-eating grin on his face as he licked his lips.

“Bedside table drawer?” He asked.

“Good guess” you wink biting your lip in anticipation.

Chris grins leaning forward to press a kiss to your lips, allowing you to taste your own arousal on his lips. As he kissed you, you heard him reach out to your bedside drawer, first pulling out a condom and leaving it on the side before grabbing your rabbit vibrator. 

Your breath hitches when you heard him turn it on and press it against your core. Your hips buck into his touch as he ran it up and down your core coating it with your arousal.

“Stop messing around and get to it” you groan trying to shift closer and get the friction you needed.

This time Chris didn’t listen to your pleas, instead he pulled the vibrator away making you whimper at the loss.

Chris just tuts “Good things to good girls that wait… are you a good girl?” He asks holding the vibrator just close enough for you to feel a whisper of its vibrations.

You couldn’t quite make yourself speak so you just nodded which clearly wasn’t enough for Chris as he moved the vibrator further away “Ah-ah-ah I need those words” he says shaking his head. 

You let out a curse, eyes screwed shut “fuck- yes-yes I am” you finally managed to say. 

“And are you going to continue to be a good girl?” he asks pressing the vibrator against your clit, sending shockwaves up through your body, making your back arch. 

“Yes-yes- yes I promise” you chant hips rolling into his touch as he moves the vibrator down towards your entrance. 

“Good, because trust me sweetheart I wanna get a move on too but gotta warm you up first” he hums as he slowly pushes the vibrator into you, eliciting a loud moan from you.

One hand gripped your hips to keep you in place as he slowly pumped the vibrator into you, you could barely keep your eyes open while his were set firmly at your core, watching the toy disappear into you. 

He bit his lip to hold back a moan “fuck you look so good, can’t wait to watch you take my cock like you take this” he groaned pressing the button on the vibrator to increase the intensity. 

He pumped the vibrator in as far as it would go, the rabbit ears rubbing deliciously against your clit. He then left it there as he moved to get off of the bed “Don’t move, don’t even think about it” he instructs as he stands at the edge of your bed. 

You do as you’re told letting out a small whimper as he pulled his shirt off allowing you to get a good look at all the tattoos you had glimpsed earlier. The large eagle across his peck, the tiger just above his hip bone, along with many other smaller tattoos that you just wanted to explore with your fingers…your tongue…

He smirked to himself as your eyes gazed over his impressive chest, he definitely had the body of a rugby player, you could just see the strength those well-defined muscled held. Your attention shifted as he then began to undress his lower half until only his boxers remained. 

You let out a groan when you saw the large tent, fuck he looked big already, just the idea of him had your walls clenching around the vibrator and your head dropping back against the pillow as a moan escaped your lips. 

When you felt him climb back onto the bed you hoped he would deem you ready but instead, he cupped your jaw and kissed you deeply. A kiss that had you wrapping one arm around his shoulders to keep him there and one leg hooking over his hip, the change of angle making you moan into the kiss.

You felt Chris smirk as his lips moved from yours, making their way down your jawline and neck. Periodically nipping at your skin only to soothe it with a wet kiss. Your breathing was growing erratic as he reached your chest, he timed it so that just as his lips found your sensitive peak and sucked, he turned the vibrator up another setting making your back arch as you cursed out a moan. 

You didn’t get a second of reprieve as his hand then joined your chest to play with your other breath, the calluses on his fingers making you whimper as he tugged and played with your sensitive peak. You could feel his electric touch all over your body, drawing you closer and closer to the edge. This man who you’d only just met was playing you like a violin he’d been playing his whole life. 

“Please- please- ch-Chris I’m- I’m close I-I- just” you gasp as your shift beneath him your body unable to decide what direction it wanted to go in. 

He pauses for a second, glancing up at your as he presses a kiss in the valley of your breast “Since you asked so nicely” he murmured, reaching down once more between your bodies to turn your vibrator up to its highest setting. 

Stars exploded in your eyes as your second earth-shattering orgasm rocks through your body. You thought the first one was intense but this was on a whole other level and you just knew it was only going to get better. Your body went completely limp to the point that you didn’t even feel Chris pull the vibrator from you. 

“You’re looking pretty spent” he hums as he presses a soft kiss to your lips “wanna call it a night?”

Those words alone were enough to snap you out of the post-orgasm bliss “Don’t you fucking dare go” you warned, tone dangerous. There was no way you were going to let him leave after that, even if finally having him and a third orgasm could kill you, you were willing to take that chance.

A wide smirk grows on Chris’ lips “You don’t have to tell me twice” he says reaching over to grab the condom he’d set aside earlier. 

You watched with hooded eyes as he finally removed his boxers and allow you to get a glimpse of him. Your jaw drops when you see his sheer size, your gaze transfixed as he rolls on the condom. He wasn’t kidding when he said you needed to warm up, you thought that was just his ego talking but no he was actually being pretty humble because you didn’t think he could actually fit.

“Don’t worry, we’ll take it slow” he smirks as he finishes putting on the condom. 

Had you actually been speaking this entire time, or did he just read your mind? His lips twitching upwards had you thinking it was the former. You bit your lower lip in anticipation as he moved to rest between your legs. Your breath hitched when you felt him brush against your core. All of a sudden every hesitation you had was gone and replaced with a dire need to just have him. 

He slowly dipped his head to capture your lips in a tender kiss as he lined himself up and slowly began to press into you. You winced slightly when you felt a twinge of pain but before you even had a chance to register it the feeling turned into pleasure. 

“Fuck you feel so good I’m not gonna last long” he groans sweat collecting across his brows which were furrowed in concentration, his words made you clench around him “Especially if you do that” he adds.

Your chest heaved as you also tried to hold yourself back, he hadn’t even begun to move and you were close, “sorry” you muttered. 

“Don’t apologise” he chuckled “Just don’t get your hopes up” he smirks with a playful shrug of his shoulders.

“My expectations have already been exceeded’ you say honestly, unable to stop yourself. 

Chris chuckles again leaning down to capture your lips once more “Thanks, my ego needed that” he smirks “You ready?”

His question brought you back to the moment and you realised how desperate you were for him “fuck yeah” you mutter hooking your leg around his hip to get encourage him. 

“Say no more sweetheart” Chris grins as he kisses you deeply and begins to move. 

He starts off slow like he promised but it wasn’t long until you were begging him for more. When you suggested this you had fully intended it to be a one-time thing so it was easier not to catch feelings, but Chris was like a first hit of a drug that you were already addicted to. 

“Fuck- please tell me you’re close” Chris groans his head dipping into the crook of your neck.

You wanted to say yes but you just couldn't find the words to utter a syllable. Instead, you settled for a vigorous nod of the head which Chris instantly got. His hand moved between your bodies until he found your clit. All it took was a few expert rubs for you to completely come apart, and your body ascended to another dimension. 

Your entire body spasmed and your walls clenched around him, pushing him over the edge right after you, pulling every last drop from him. His chest was heaving as he gently pulled out of you and removed the condom. You were vaguely aware of him disposing of it before returning to your side. 

“I know you said there was no staying over but you’re not gonna kick me out straight away right?” he asks gently brushing some hair from your face, his head resting in his other hand as he lay on his side. 

You smile softly as you look over at him, taking a moment to admire his body once more “No I don’t have the energy just yet” you smirk. 

Chris laughs leaning over to kiss you softly “Good and I promise I won’t overstay my welcome, I’m not interested in a run-in with your dad,” he says making you snort with laughter.

“Smart call” you nod smiling back at him. 

For the next twenty or so minutes you and Chris continued to talk as you recovered from your highs. The conversation flowed just like it did back at the bar like there was no break at all. 

Once you had both fully recovered you threw on his shirt as he got re-dressed “You know I’m gonna need that” he says nodding over to you as he buckles his belt. 

“You have a jacket” you point out not willing to give the shirt back just yet. 

“Yes, but I don’t think my coach will be happy if a picture of me surfaces walking home shirtless” he points out walking over to you “You do look sexy in it though” he murmurs as he pulls it open exposing you to the breeze.

“Let me keep it then” you smirk taking a step closer to you. 

Chris hums as he cups your jaw and tilts your head back to capture your lips with his. You instantly melt into the kiss to the point that you didn’t even notice him pushing the skirt off your shoulders. 

“Gotcha” he smirks stepping back and pulling his shirt back on. 

“Well played Evans” you chuckle stepping away to grab an oversized hoodie from a nearby box and throwing it on. 

“It's why I’m the playmaker sweetheart and I have one last play to make” he smirks with a confident grin. 

“Oh really what is it?” you ask arching a brow as he walks back over to you. 

“To get you’re number” he says holding out his phone to you. 

You couldn't help but laugh and nod your head as you took his phone “Not as smooth as your other moves but I appreciate it” you chuckle as you typed your number into his phone and pass it back. 

“You don’t want mine?” he asks arching a brow at you. 

You shrug “I’ll get it when you decide to text” you smirk. 

Chris lets out a huff of a laugh “Alright, well I’ll talk to you soon and I’ll let you get some rest because you have a lot of unpacking to do tomorrow” he says glancing around at all the boxes as you walk him back to your front door. 

“Urgh don’t remind me” you groan already dreading it. 

“Just gotta have a reward for when you’re done, something to motivate you” Chris suggests. 

“Yeah, you better text tomorrow then” you wink making him laugh. 

“I will, talk to you tomorrow, goodnight Y/N” Chris smiles softly as he leans down to kiss you. 

“Talk to you tomorrow, night Chris, get home safe” you say making his smile widen slightly. 

He presses another languid kiss to your lips before slipping out and heading home. As soon as you shut your door you turned around and looked around at your apartment which suddenly felt very empty. 

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[promptthebear]

Oh my god I just found you through AO3! I'm so excited to read your other works! If you wouldn't mind, I would love to hear some of your headcannons for Tyrion! 🧺

Okay, so I thought a lot about this one and well, this is what I decided on so hopefully it’s okay 🫣

In my defence, I’ve been lurking on the Tyrion x Reader tag for a loooong while and always secretly hoped someone would do this first but unfortunately not so here goes.

PS. This ended up being so long holy shit. Some of these prompts ending up being almost mini fics in their own right. Wish I could say I'm sorry about it...but my Mom taught me not to lie so.

🔥Tyrion Lannister NSFW Alphabet🔥

CW: Brief mentions of canon typical assault and violence. Discussions of soft dom/sub dynamics. Also what it says on the tin, discussions of sex and sexual content.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Say it with me now, this man is an aftercare KING. To him, it’s almost as important as the main event, a good story needs a satisfying epilogue after all.

This is partially from his years of experience, but also his own desire to feel loved. We all know Tyrion’s met his needs exclusively with sex workers since Tysha left his life. He knows how awful it is to wake to an empty bed and cold sheets, but is also very much aware that’s part and parcel with the life he’s chosen.

When you come around, whether that’s through a spontaneous relationship or an arranged marriage, Tyrion wants to give you the full benefit of all he has to offer. It’s pretty normal for you to spend hours cuddled up in bed, basking in the after glow, talking about nothing in particular and feeding each other little bites of food and sips of wine.

If you’re really lucky, Tyrion might also read a little to you from whatever book he’s got on hand. He loves nothing more than to have you rest your head against his bare chest while he murmurs into your hair about history or herb sciences or whatever’s caught his interest this week.

Tyrion also isn’t opposed to helping you clean up or having a shared bath. You can bet he’d be extremely gentle and attentive, taking extra care with anywhere on your body that may be sore or sensitive. He’ll also get frequently distracted from the task at hand to stop and tell you how beautiful you are, how much he cares about you and to cover your face and body in soft kisses.

This man just has a lot of love to give, and when you have his trust and commitment, he’s going to be thrilled at finally having someone to share it with. Every once and awhile, you’ll catch him running his hands over your body while you’re together, like he’s trying to memorize every inch before you disappear. Enjoy those moments, it means he’s finally starting to let his walls down and accept you’re sticking with him for good.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Okay, so these two are going to be really obvious but I’ll explain, I promise. There’s not a lot Tyrion likes about himself. He’s accepted what he is, but that doesn’t mean he always likes it. However, when pressed he’ll admit that what he’s most proud of are his mind and his cock.

His mind is a given. It’s what keeps him alive and valuable in the political minefield that is King’s Landing. Without that, who knows what would have happened to him? He also loves when he can use his wit to make you smile or gods willing, laugh. Your laughter is the most precious sound in the world to Tyrion and he loves that he can be the cause behind it.

As for his cock, well, it’s mentioned in the books that Tyrion feels like in the dark, he feels and can be the same as any other man. He truly seems to feel that in the bedroom, it’s the one other place his size doesn’t matter. His equipment works as well as anyone else’s, and he’s very proud of all the pleasure it brings you.

When it comes to his lover, Tyrion really only has two priorities. He likes breasts and a good heart. Everything else is just gravy.

Based on his love scenes with Shae in the books, I feel like Tyrion is a big fan of boobs. He even jokes about it when he meets Oberyn about how a tit in his mouth is the only thing that can still stop him fussing. Also, see the gif above lol. Whenever he’s had a hard day, Tyrion wants nothing more than to open your dress, and bury his face into your chest where he can lose himself in the softness of your skin and scent of your perfume.

Breast size also isn’t a deal breaker for Tyrion. As far as he’s concerned, any breasts of any shape or size are wonderful. If you’ve ever felt self conscious about what’s in your corset, that won’t be a problem after Tyrion’s got his hands on you. He spends so much time caressing and kissing them that you start to love them as much as he does. And if anyone makes any snide remarks about you not being well endowed enough? Well, Tyrion’s got some extra creative ways to make them reconsider that train of thought.

Above all else though, he needs someone kind. He’s been surrounded with liars and people who are trying to manipulate him for so long, that in the end he figures that's all there is for him. Of course, the second he realizes hes with someone a little too like Cersi or any number of the social climbers at court, then things are going to go tits up. That relationship will crash and burn so quickly, and the fall out is incredibly messy. Tyrion will then turn to drink and brothels to lessen his pain, meets a new distraction who smells an opportunity and the vicious cycle starts all over again. Which is not to say any of the women Tyrion finds himself with during this time are to blame for being insincere, they're trying to survive same as anyone else and hes a promising meal ticket.

If anything, the fault for this lies with Tyrion’s own self destructive tendencies and all the bullshit Tywin’s put into his head over the years. His father has allowed his son so few opportunities to have love and be loved, that whether he knows it or not, Tyrion keeps choosing poor matches to keep one step ahead of Tywin and be hurt on his own terms. Heartbreak is heartbreak, but having pain you control is slightly better than having it forced on you at any given moment.

The best chance you have of breaking this pattern and actually have a genuine relationship with Tyrion is by being sweet with him. He’s going to fight it at first, kindness is so alien to him that he takes it as exploitation at face value and will either brush it aside with a well placed quip or outright deny it to your face. Have a little patience. Tyrion has wrapped his hurt around his heart like a protective shell, but once he realizes you’re different and truly care about him, hooo boy. The flood of affection and loyalty you’ll get from him will be unparalleled, so it’s well worth the wait.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Over the years, Tyrion’s found some pretty creative places to deposit his seed. It just kind of happens when you frequent brothels exclusively. As much as those places PROMISE the women won't give you a bastard, pretty words don't mean a whole lot when an unplanned child shows up on your doorstep, so Tyrion’s learned to be extra cautious.

If the two of you aren’t married or just casual lovers, Tyrion will probably keep that same practice if only to preserve your honour. Your mouth, breasts and stomach are perfectly good options as far as he’s concerned, be ready to hear some “pearl necklace” jokes out of him.

If the two of you are married though? Inside, hands down, 100%. With your consent that’s always where he wants to finish, both because of the closeness it creates between the two of you and also the added benefit of possibly getting you pregnant. To Tyrion, this is a true testament to how much you love and trust him, and a way to mark you to others as his and his alone. Just knowing you want to be with him and bear his children can be as much of a turn on for him as the actual sex itself.

Sometimes when he’s done, he’ll sit back and spread your legs to have a nice, long look at his handiwork. It‘s just so satisfying to see his cum dripping out of your cunt, and odds are this’ll have him raring to go again before your first orgasm is completely out of your system. The two of you won’t have any problems producing an heir, trust me.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

There’s not a lot Tyrion keeps to himself when it comes to sex. He’s a pretty open book, and when you’ve visited every brothel from the North to the last port before the Free Cities, sometimes your secrets get told for you.

However, the one thing Tyrion’s managed to keep out of public knowledge is an ongoing fantasy he’s had about fucking his lover or wife in his father’s bedroom at Casterly Rock.

It’s not that Tyrion wants to be his father necessarily, as much as he jokes about being Tywin made again on half the scale. It’s more so about taking control in a way that would shock and appall Tywin, with a hint of added vengeance for what happened to Tysha. His father has had his fingers in Tyrion’s private matters for so long that he’d love nothing more than to finally turn the tables and truly make Casterly Rock his “whorehouse” like Tywin’s always feared.

I don’t think this is a fantasy he’d ever admit to anyone though, not even to you, no matter how drunk he gets or how long you’ve been together. It’s too strange and too petty to suggest to anyone…right?

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

We all know it, our boy has had more lovers in the short time he’s been alive than some men will ever see in a thousand lifetimes. The benefit to this, though, is he’s had some amazing teachers and has learned some pretty special skills he can’t wait to try with you.

If you’re a virgin when the two of you meet or married, then Tyrion will take excellent care of you, making sure you’re safe, comfortable and cumming until you don’t know your own name. But if you're on the more experienced side? Well, get ready to be put through your paces, Tyrion wants to see what you’re really made of and maybe show you some new things along the way.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Now, Tyrion’s tried every position in recorded human history and invented some new ones just for kicks. But, unfortunately, if there’s a significant height difference between you two then his size is something you'll need to be mindful of. There are some positions that just won't be comfortable or even pleasurable for either of you, regardless of foreplay or flexibility.

Since he’s aware and very accepting of his limitations, there are a few tried and true positions Tyrion falls back on because he’s found that they’re consistently enjoyable for both him and his partner, while still allowing for some variation.

The first of these is, unsurprisingly, cowgirl. Having you on top is the easiest way to negate any major differences in height or physicality. It’s also a lot less painful for Tyrion’s legs, and allows him easy access to your clit and breasts, as well as having full view of your face so he can gauge your enjoyment. This position also affords itself to different paces, whether you're going for something soft and sweet with gentle words whispered between quiet grasps, or something more frantic and rougher where Tyrion meets you thrust for thrust by grabbing hold of your ass and pushing his hips up against yours.

There’s also just something about letting you have control of your pleasure and the sight of you hovering above him like some kind of sensual goddess that leaves Tyrion entranced. He absolutely loves watching you come undone above him, every slight shift in your expression, every little noise you make, they’re all incredibly precious to him. If he’s ever particularly distracted in his work, if he’s messing up his sums or seems miles away listening to petitions at court, you know it’s because he’s reliving these beautiful moments again in his mind and wondering how to make next time even better for the two of you.

Now, while Tyrion values sex for the romance and intimacy it can create between partners, there are also many times where he’s in desperate need of stress relief and the only way he’s going to get it is by fucking it out of you. On days where court has gone on for longer than usual, or the council is being extra stupid or Joffery has somehow managed to reach new levels of depravity yet again, the only position Tyrion is interested in is doggy style.

Everything about this position with him is going to be fast, rough, and probably a little messy. As soon as you’ve given him the go ahead, he’s pushing you onto the nearest flat surface and rucking your skirts and petticoats up to your navel. Any foreplay you have is going to be rushed, Tyrion’s not normally a selfish lover but when he gets like this, all he wants is to have you ready enough so as not to cause you pain. You can expect him to work you over quickly with two of his fingers thrust into your cunt and his mouth attacking your clit relentlessly. The second he feels you start getting wet, it’s all he can do to mutter “turn over” between clenched teeth and then he’s on you like a man possessed

From this point, the best advice I can give you is to hang on for dear life, because this isn’t going to be the Tyrion you’re used to. He’s basically going to use you like a human cocksleeve, gripping onto fistfuls of your skirts and thrusting into you at breakneck speeds. The change in angle would also allow him to hit that spot inside you that makes you see stars, again and again. It’s both too much and not enough all at once, and you’d be a whimpering mess within minutes, not that Tyrion would take any notice. Normally, he’s very attentive but in this moment he’d been far too concerned with chasing his own pleasure, a far off look in hi eye as he grunts and moans softly with each push of his hips.

When he finally cums, it’s like some strange spell over him finally breaks. He’d bed over your back, shoving his face against the fabric of your dress to muffle his half strangled cry. You’d be pretty much collapsed at this point, your elbows long since given out supporting you in the face of so many quick fire orgasms. Tyrion would pull out of you, shaky and breathing hard, and somehow manage to walk on wobbling legs around to where he can look you in the eye. He’d push your sweaty hair back from your face, and cup your flushed cheeks in his hands like he’s afraid you might break into a thousand pieces.

The first words out of his mouth would then be “I’m sorry” as he pulls you into his waiting embrace and brings up a hand to cup the back of your head. He’d hold you like that for a long while, apologizing profusely for being so rough with you and explaining about all the bullshit he endured today, and how thankful he is that he can come home and have you here to take care of him. He’d be so worried he’s hurt you, and all but weeps in relief when you manage a tired smile and a soft “It’s alright. I know, things have been tough on you. You didn’t hurt me, I’m okay.” Expect lots of extra attention from him and treats tonight, as well as a long hot bath in your future.

When Tyrion isn’t trying to screw his problems away, I can also see him actually enjoying missionary a fair bit. While it isn’t the most ideal position, he can’t kiss you as much as he wants and being on his knees for so long will have his legs spasming for awhile afterwards, it does have its merits. He loves being able to play with your clit so easily, and the feel of your ankles hooking around his back. This position also gives him the perfect angle to bury his face in your breasts and he’s cum like that on more than one occasion.

Tyrion is also a bit of a romantic at heart, though he wouldn’t admit that for love or money. The fact that this position is so traditional in its essence is actually something he really enjoys. It reminds him of his first time with Tysha, the two of them fumbling and in love and having no clues about sex beyond this one basic thing. There’s so little that hearkens back to happier times in Tyrion’s life, the few things that allow him to do so, he’ll want to cherish them at every opportunity.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Oh gods, Tyrion is secretly the biggest goofball. You see a little bit of it in the books when he’s teasing Tysha and Shae, and if you’re receptive to that kind of thing he’ll be more than happy to provide it for you. This man could be buried in you to the hilt and pausing to crack jokes. If someone happens to fart or make a strange sound or maybe experience a sudden onset cramp? No worries, Tyrion will take it in stride with plenty good humour.

When you’ve had sex as many times as he has, you quickly realize it’s not as pretty or seamless as the stories and songs often depict. In the real world, people and their bodies are flawed. Things don’t always go as planned even when you’re being intimate, and being able to experience everything you have to offer no matter how embarrassing is what Tyrion considers to be one of the many pleasures of being with you. Besides, if you don’t laugh at yourself first, other people don’t hesitate to do it for you, so why not beat them to the punch?

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the caret match the drapes? etc.)

So I feel like shaving and waxing isn’t really a “thing” in Westeros, outside maybe some of the more exotic brothels closer to the Free Cities and such. This means that Tyrion goes au naturel so to speak, and while he’s not as hairy as some men, he’s got a healthy patch of thick, reddish blonde curls down there. If it’s causing you discomfort or itching, he’d be happy to trim it back the same way he would his beard but I doubt he’d ever go completely bare down there either.

The added benefit of this is also that Tyrion wouldn’t expect you to remove your pubic hair either. If anything, he’d probably be a little uncomfortable with the idea? It would make you seem almost child-like, which would most certainly turn him off completely. He wants to be with a grown woman, and all that implies. A little hair isn’t going to bother him any.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

So, if the two of you are friends with benefits or this is a “transactional” relationship let’s say, Tyrion isn’t going to really push for intimacy. This is mostly because he doesn’t want to get too close to you, in case it gets him hurt again. He’ll be friendly and respectful, but don't expect any spontaneous compliments during sex or for him to stay with you too long afterwards. As far as he’s concerned, that kind of entanglement doesn’t end well for anyone involved but we also know this man is going to have a hard time keeping his emotions out of it no matter how hard he tries.

If the two of you are married or have a committed relationship? Oh. My. God. Extra won’t even begin to cover it.

A much as he claims to be selfish and cynical, Tyrion’s a giver by nature. When he falls for you, he’s going to fall hard and he’ll want to let you know any way he can. He’ll basically be spouting off the cuff poetry while the two of you are having sex with the compliments he’s giving. He’ll shower you with sweet talk, kisses, anything you want. If you’re a rose petal and candle kind of gal, you can expect that too. If he can’t provide what you want, he’ll learn how to or find a way to get it for you. Hell, if you mention your favourite colour to him even just in passing, he'd probably redecorate his bedhcambers to suit your preference. After a lifetime of being treated like dogshit, you’d have this man wrapped around your little finger, so please please please be kind to him.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

It’s pretty much book canon that Tyrion jerks off…a lot, and while his preference is always going to be to look to you for his needs, unfortunately his job calls him away a lot. If he’s especially fond of you, he might even move you out of Kings Landing entirely and into The Rock at the first opportunity, just to keep you safe. When distance is an obstacle, he’d probably go back to the company of his hands most evenings, though now he’s at least got you to fantasize about. Don’t be surprised if one of your scarves or hair ribbons or even some of your smallclothes go missing right after Tyrion leaves home again. You’ll get them back, I promise, your lover just needs a little “motivation” while he’s away.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Acts of service/ Service dom: So, most of his life, Tyrion’s had to take care of himself and also has been denied a lot of opportunities to offer his care to other people. The result of this is that he craves any chance to experience either, especially where any kind of intimacy is involved. I truly see Tyrion as a switch, so he’ll want to use acts of service as both the submissive and dominant partner, even if Westeros hasn’t provided the vocabulary to label these experiences as such.

For example, he loves taking care of you. If you want him to brush your hair, he’s happy to comply. Help you dress yourself if your maid’s been “given the morning off?” Yes ma’am. Run you a bath and assist you with washing? Say the word and hes there. Now, in these moments you may appear to be the dominant one, but thats nowhere close to the truth. By allowing yourself to be vulnerable, you’re giving Tyrion the power and control, but he’d never take advantage of it. At most, he’s a soft dom. He may occasionally give orders or make decisions for you, but he does so only after reminding you that you can ask him to stop at any time.

This is also just such a self indulgent fantasy, but I can see him being the type of dom to make a pet out of his lover? Not pet play exactly, but he’d refer to you as his “good girl” or precious one and have you sit, naked and kneeling on a silk pillow while your head resting on his thigh as he works or reads. He'd stop often to stroke your hair or speak to you softly, or maybe feed you a tasty little morsel or give you a sip of wine if you were willing. Theres no sadomasochism about this situation though, it comes from a place of nurturing and Tyrions desire to provide for you to the point where you don't have to do a thing for yourself.

When Tyrion plays the submissive, it looks very different. Your role as the dominant would be to assert yourself as a caretaker as well, so Tyrion actually takes a break from working and focuses on some selfcare for once. This can include massaging his back and legs, drawing a hot bath and helping him clean up or feeding him dinner, bite by bite. Tyrion would be the most willing submissive, and though he grumbles on principle he wouldn’t be bratty or need any sort of punishment besides maybe a gentle scolding now and again. Reaching this level of trust and intimacy with you is like his ultimate fantasy, so much of his life demands that he be in control that relinquishing it, even for a few hours, would be nothing short of paradise.

Overstimulation: So, we all know, Tyrion’s a very skilled lover. He knows tricks with his mouth and fingers that would surprise even Oberyn Martell, and he can make you cum faster than you ever thought possible. He loves to do this again and again, until you’re a shaking, babbling mess, only to push one more orgasm out of you. He really just wants to give you as much pleasure as you can take at any given moment and then a little more just because he loves you. It also can become sort of a competition thing between the two of you? I can absolutely see him looking up from between your legs, your release still on his lips while he smirks and you let out a “Fuck!” that indicates you’ve cum yet again. He’d give your cunt a gentle pat, arch his brow and ask “Do you think she’s had enough?” to which you’d let out a huff and stubbornly announce “Not even close” only to regret those words when you find yourself limping around the castle the next day.

The Book Game: I don’t know what else to call this, but basically that thing where you read something while your partner pleasures or fucks you and if you moan you don’t get to cum yet? This would be Tyrion’s absolute FAVOURITE thing, as it involves the best of both worlds, literature and sex. Watch out though, this man plays dirty and will probably hand you an erotic novel just make things more interesting.

Mutual masturbation: I don’t know why, but I just feel like Tyrion would be into this??? It probably comes back to how he wants to feel desirable and have someone look at him in all his naked glory without any outright disgust. If the two of you are doing this, expect Tyrion to light more than the usual amount of candles. He just wants to see you, to bask in your beauty as you get yourself off. Bonus points if he’s allowed to give you instructions while you do so.

Body worship: Oh Lord, is Tyrion ever into this one. If it’s your first time, he’d probably just do it to increase your pleasure and comfort with him touching you. And then it turns into a habit. The first time he does it, it’s while he’s undressing you. With your consent, he’d carefully remove your clothing and kiss each new inch of bared skin like his life depends on it. It’s only when you’re tingling all over and practically begging him to fuck you that he’d relent. Afterwards, I can see him making sort of a silly game out of it, naming each part of you he likes best before kissing on that same spot. Spoiler alert though, he loves all of you so he’s going to kiss everywhere.

Marking: Yes, but only for love bites and hickies. It’s a point of personal pride for Tyrion to show everyone that not only are you his, but you are more than happy to let him love on you. I can imagine that Cersi or his father are giving him shit one morning at breakfast because you aren’t pregnant yet, only for the two of them to immediately shut up when you walk into the dining room with a massive, fuck off hickey nestled in your cleavage. Tyrion would smirk into his coffee, and then wrap his arm around you shoulder and plant a kiss on your temple after you sit down next to him. You'd probably be beet red, knowing everyone is staring and why, but Tyrion doesn’t give a single fuck. He’d look his family dead in the face and ask “Anything else to add?” but all he’d get is a stony silence from Cersi and some derisive muttering from Tywin. At the very least, you’d have a few peaceful meals for a little while.

Spoiling: So this one is a little dicey. On the one hand, Tyrion doesn’t appreciate feeling like he’s being used for his family’s money. On the other hand, it’s deeply satisfying to him to use said money to get you whatever your little heart desires. All you have to do is mention you like something in passing and it’s yours. If you have any particular hobbies, Tyrion will make sure you’re well stocked with any supplies you need to do them. He also loves keeping you adorned in the finest jewels. I’ve always had a personal headcanon that he’d give his wife a very extravagant House Lannister pendant, a golden lion the size of your fist with ruby eyes on a thick, braided chain. Tywin would of course gripe at him for the extravagance, which Tyrion would wave off without a second thought. Also, he'd probably fuck you at some point while you’re wearing it lol.

Lingerie: The selection available in Westeros for this kind of thing probably isn’t super extensive, but what is available Tyrion will take full advantage of. It really gets him all hot and bothered that he’s the only one who gets to see you in this kind of stuff, and the feel of silk and lace under his fingers is an added bonus in an already pleasurable experience.

Praise Kink: Oh gods above and below, does Tyrion ever have a praise kink. Hardly anyone has had a kind word for this man in his whole life, so when he does hear any he goes completely feral. Please, tell him what a good boy he is and how good he’s making you feel and how handsome he is. He will absolutely lose his goddamn mind, as well as sell his soul to you on the spot. Tyrion will also return the favour if that’s something you want. He’s going to lavish on the compliments and flattery every chance he has, he’ll tell you you’re his stunning goddess of love and beauty and mean every word from the bottom of his heart.

Breeding: It takes a lot of work to get him to admit it, but I truly think Tyrion wants to be a father. Not because of any Lannister legacy bullshit like Tywin, he’d be thrilled if you gave him a pack of daughters. It’s more so that he really just wants to have a family of his own and to try and give his children the love he was denied in his own childhood. He’d be nervous about it at first, what if his children are too much like him? What if he loses you during the birth? Give him lots of patience and reassurance and before you know it, he’s dragging you off to put a babe in your belly ASAP.

Part of the attraction for Tyrion is watching you go through the experience of being pregnant. He loves your baby bump and your soft breasts. If the hormones have you riled, he’d be incredibly gentle while making love to you, not wanting to hurt you or the baby. He’d rub your ankles if they’re sore and have the maesters make hot compresses if your back hurts from carrying his child. You’re so beautiful to him like this, and any complaints about weight gain or stretch marks would be silenced with deep, open mouthed kisses. As long as it’s not any danger to you and you’re happy being a mother, Tyrion wants you pregnant as often as you can be. Don’t be surprised if you have a few “stepladder twins” who are less than a year apart.

It also comes back to a possession thing. Having you bear his children is the best way he can think of to show the world who you belong to. It would also be the one thing that would get Tywin off his back about “an heir and a spare” while deeply infuriating the man because there’s no way anyone would tolerate his son to conceive even one child, let alone two, but here you are all the same. Tyrion would be extra attentive to you while you’re pregnant in public, taking every opportunity he can to rest his hand on your growing belly and caress it gently. Even if people stare, he doesn’t give a shit. He’s proud of you and the baby you’re going to have, those idiots are just jealous because they know it’ll be the most beautiful child in all of Westeros and their little sprogs could never compete.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Now, even if the two of you were married while the Lannisters are in the Red Keep, Tyrion will point blank refuse to fuck you there unless his family is away, and even then maybe not. Its not that he doesn't want to or doesn'tlove you, it’s just that the walls have ears in this place. If it’s not Tywin or Cersi sticking their noses in his business, Vary' will probably have his “little birds” keeping a close watch on the two of you.

No, anywhere in Kings Landing is out of the question. You’re too important to Tyrion to risk having you used as a pawn in his family’s schemes. There’s no way he’s going to be ever able to completely let his guard down while you’re there, so first chance he’s got Tyrion is going to try and send you away somewhere safer.

Casterly Rock would be his first choice. With his father and sister busy stirring shit up in King’s Landing, they’d totally ignore the Rock despite it being their homeland, and as far as Tyrion’s concerned that makes it the perfect place. In spite of his rough childhood, he’s always felt protected there, and there would be so many things he’d want to show you. The library where he learned to read, the beach and its tide pools,the gardens and all the other secret places hed discovered as a boy. Also, having you stay in his childhood bedroom with him would be so special for Tyrion, the two of you snuggled up under familiar covers with the sound of the waves crashing in the distance. Casterly Rock was, and always will be his home and Tyrion wants nothing more than to make you a part of it for good.

If the Rock isn’t an option, I can also see him trying to negotiate the rights to some out of the way holdfast outside the city limits. It wouldn’t be ideal, but it would certainly be less suffocating than The Red Keep and at least there he could choose his own guards to watch over you. Tyrion might even push for Jamie to come and mind you for a few days a week, in spite of Cersi’s protests. He trusts his brother more than anyone else, and knows that Jamie would do right by you even with their sister whispering in his ear because he loves Tyrion so much.

Once he has either one of these options secure, Tyrion would probably want to keep your sex life limited to the bedroom. He really doesn’t want you to be the subject of gossip, even if he’s hired the household staff himself. He values your privacy, as well as his own, and also loves the ample amount of time being in the bedroom allows. I can also see him going as far as to have new locks made for your shared chambers, and you two would be the only ones with keys. He really doesn’t want to run the risk of your maids or Podrick walking in at an inopportune moment, even if they do knock it’s better safe than sorry.

However, I do think Tyrion also harbours a fantasy about taking you on his desk in the Hand’s Office someday. Whether or not this ever comes to fruition, at least he’s got something pleasant to think about during those long, redundant days.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

I wouldn’t say it takes much to get Tyrion going. We all know he’s got an ample sex drive, and isn't the type to pass up a little love no matter the occasion. However for him, there's a couple of things you can do that really, really just push all the right buttons.

The first is watching you mouth off to someone. If you’re shyer or more softer spoken, don’t worry about it. Tyrion will always play your gallant knight and saviour. But if you’re the type of person who speaks their mind? Oh boy. There’s nothing Tyrion loves more than getting to bear witness to you giving some fool a well deserved tongue lashing. He’d watch the whole thing over the rim of his goblet, smirking with a particular twinkle in his eye.

When he first heard you call Joffery a “craven little pissant” he truly thought he might die from delight. Thankfully, that didn’t happen and Tyrion had enough sense to whisk you off before his nephew could react, something about “She’s not herself your majesty, women’s troubles and the like. I’m sure she has no idea what she’s saying”

Of course, instead of the scolding you thought was coming, Tyrion would pull you into the nearest alcove and kiss you until you were breathless. When he’s done he’d announce “You wonderful, mad woman. I’ve been wanting to do that since the little shit could talk, but PLEASE pick your fights more carefully or we’ll end up in matching gallows.”

After that, you’d have to see sense, at least where Joffrey is concerned. Anyone else though? Totally fair game, especially if they insult Tyrion. You’ve told off his sister more than once and even gone up against Tywin on his behalf. Naturally, the two of them would complain to Tyrion about “making his wife mind” but to that Tyrion would respond “I told her not to start fights, but she is more than welcome to finish them” most likely while he’s pulling you towards your bedchamber to finish things his own way lol The two of you are the snarkiest, sassiest couple in all of King’s Landing and mutual bitching is your favourite couple’s activity.

On the other side of the coin, being particularly soft or compassionate is the other way to get Tyrion’s attention. It doesn’t just have to be with him either. If you’re particularly gentle with Tommen and Myrcella or with any animal you come across or the small folk in the city, Tyrion is just going to melt. He can hardly believe he’s found someone who’s genuinely good hearted in this rotting shithole, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t grateful for you either. When he sees you being particularly sweet, his motivations are less “I am so turned on right now let me have you” and more “I love you so much, you are literal sunshine please let me show you how much you mean to me”

More than once, you’ve glanced up while playing with Myrcella and Tommen to find Tyrion watching you with an expression on his face you can’t quite read. If you’ve already given him a couple children, odds are tonight you’ll conceive another one. If you haven’t yet, your first is most likely coming along nine months after this.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Tyrion’s pretty adventurous but even there’s a couple things he’s going to have boundaries about.

The first of these is any kind of impact play. If this is after what happened with Ros (Alayaya in the books) and Sansa’s own beating, Tyrion couldn’t bring himself to do it even with your consent. Hurting you would bring back too many unpleasant memories, and the world already thinks the worst of him. The implication that he beats his wife on top of everything else would be too much.

With that in mind, consensual non-consent is off the table, as well as any kind of sharing. The trauma about Tysha runs too deeply for that. Tyrion also is too insecure to share you with anyone else, even if he tries to play it off. Deep down, a part of him worries you’ll leave him for a better, taller man, so why run the risk by letting one into your bed?

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Now, Tyrion isn’t the type to pass up getting his cock sucked but honestly? He prefers going down on you.

If the two of you are married and you were a virgin, Tyrion isn’t going to expect you to go down on him, especially if you’re of high birth. Unfortunately, in Westeros that act is usually associated with brothel girls and Tyrion wouldn’t want to demean you. But if you’re still offering after an extended period of time? Well, who’s he to say no when you ask so nicely.

Tyrion would be really sweet with you while you’re going down on him though. The last thing he wants is to make you feel pressured or like he’s manhandling you too much. Expect a lot of praise, him stroking your hair and face and begging you to look up at him so he can see your beautiful eyes. Use that last one with caution though because it’ll have him cumming in seconds.

When it’s your turn, Tyrion’s going to show just as much enthusiasm. This man eats pussy like it’s his goddamn job, and he will take it as a personal failure if you don’t have at least three orgasms while he’s down there. The only thing he loves more than a nice glass of Arbour red is the taste of you on his lips, if they could make that in a vintage he’d literally drink himself to death.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

So for Tyrion, this really depends on his partner and what they want because he can get what he needs from both.

I’ve mentioned this a couple times, but if you’re a virgin he’s going to go like molasses slow. I’m talking like hours of foreplay, getting you used to his mouth and fingers, making you’re absolutely relaxed and stretched out comfortably before he even thinks of introducing his cock into the mix.

If this isn’t your first rodeo though and you want something hard, fast, and even a little disrespectful? Tyrion’s happy to provide, he’s a man of many talents after all.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Again, Tyrion is versatile. Does he prefer to have these long extended love making sessions that go on for hours? Of course, especially if it’s in a romantic relationship. He wants that intimacy and time with you.

However, there are going to be some weeks where everyone is up his ass, Joffrey has managed to squander what little money the crown has again, some minor lords are picking fights over the tiniest slights imaginable, and the Black Brothers are asking him to produce more men from thin air to fill their ranks. All in a day’s work for Tyrion.

When things get like this, clearly he’s going to be super busy and strung out. So if all you have time for is a quick romp before bed or before he leaves in the morning? Not his favourite but he’d rather have that than nothing at all.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Tyrion’s down for a little risk now and again. It keeps things fresh and exciting for the two of you. Just so long as it doesn’t cross any of the boundaries set in N, he’ll try anything almost once.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Honestly? If you can keep up, Tyrion’s willing to go all night. His years of practice have given him an almost god like stamina, if you can outpace him he’s going to be pleasantly surprised because it hasn’t happened yet.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

So again, I don’t think toys are really a “thing” in Westeros, but someone with such a “diverse” palate as Tyrion will probably have a couple of surprises. However, this will probably be more kink type gear like blindfolds, ropes and maybe a gag somewhere. If you wanna use these things on yourself or him, he’s more than happy to oblige, but won’t be upset if you’re not interested either. He just wants you to be happy.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease

Oh gods. Bring your patience and self control because this man is a MENACE.

Nowhere is safe from him either. The two of you could be in the fricking SEPT and he’d slip a note into your hymnal detailing all the filthy things he wants to do with you. Meanwhile he’s got his eye on the septon and the most placid expression, like he didn’t just commit you both to the Seven Hells via sacrilege He’s also not above getting handsy with you under the table while you’re having a meal with his family or in court. Like I said, nowhere is safe.

Revenge would be easy enough to get though. Just whisper something spicy in his ear and grab his trouser lacings right before he’s for a Small Council meeting. He’s going to be hot, bothered and ready to boil over for the next few hours and unable to focus on anything except the highlight reel his mind is playing of you. You’ll absolutely pay for it when he comes back to your rooms that night, but it’s also completely worth it.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

I'd say Tyrion makes about the average amount of noise for any man, you get moans and grunts, which get louder when he cums. The one thing that kind of stands out about him is he's maybe a little bit more talkative? Expect lots of dirty talk, compliments and cursing. The only way to truly shut him up is to put his mouth between your legs or on your tits lol.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

I think it's probably because Kings Landing as a city reeks so goddamn bad, but I can see Tyrion having a thing about you wearing perfume? It would most likely start on your wedding night when a nice perfume is tradition along with the wedding silks, and Tyrion enjoys the scent on your skin so much he makes it a habit to keep adding to your collection. You'd probably own quite a few exotic and rare bottles after you've been together a few years, Tyrion would have most likely sought them out from merchants from the Free Cities and the Summer Isles. Wearing them can have like an almost pheromone type effect on him, especially if they're scents you've worn exclusively during sex.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

So, I'm just going to go off how Tyrion's cock is described in the books. I figure he's about average size for most men, around 5 inches, so not as small as everyone likes to speculate about. Girth wise I wouldn't say he's too big, maybe a smidge wider than most but not enough that it's going to cause you pain. The most notable thing about his cock is the head, which darkens a fair bit in colour when he's hard and is exceptionally sensitive. He's also uncut bc I can't really see that being a thing in Westeros again unless you travel out to the Free Cities or Dorne.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

How high you got? :P

Honestly, we know Tyrion is always down to clown. All you need to do is give your consent and he's raring to go. He's also a grown man, however, and has absolutely immaculate self control. Don't ever expect him to pressure or try and manipulate you into fulfilling his needs, your comfort comes first and foremost. He'll make do with his hand if needs must and won't make you feel the least bit guilty about it either.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

In the books/show, it's stated that Tyrion is pretty much an insomniac (same bro) so when you first get together it's pretty rare that he sleeps after sex. Instead, you can expect him to stay awake and cuddle you until you're asleep, and then he'll either read until dawn or shuffle off to his office to get some work done.

It's only when you start making an active effort to help him sleep that he'll be able to doze off next to you. The surefire way to get him to rest is by having his head on your chest or your lap and stroking his hair while you sing to him. It doesn't matter what, lullabies, ballads, tavern songs, he just likes the sound of your voice and the warmth of your skin against his.

He wouldn't tell you this, but Tysha would do the same thing for him back when she was around. He always managed to sleep fine for her, it was only after she left his life that his insomnia began. Maybe now that you're in his life, he can finally be well rested again.

[cozage]

The Daughter's Return: Part 7

The Infiltration Plan

Part 1 | Part 8 | Table of Contents | Read this on A03

Characters: female reader x Ace Word Count: 4.1k CW: None i can think of

“Hey,” Marco’s soft voice woke you from your sleep, and you groaned as you flipped away from him. Of course Marco had woken you up. Your dreams had been too good to you. Now that you were awake, your head was pounding.

Marco shook you lightly. “I think Whitey is about to head out.”

That got your attention. You sat up, awake and alert. You quickly jumped off the mattress and ran out the door without another word to him. You had to find Whitey, you had to say goodbye one more time before she was gone. 

You dashed out onto the deck, wildly darting your head from left to right. There were so many people awake at this early hour, it was hard to look past the people directly in front of you. You had forgotten what island days were like; everyone was desperate to get off the ship in search of new treasures and new company. 

You finally found Brew, and ran over to him. In your time planning for Whitey’s departure, you had forgotten that your other two close friends were leaving as well.

“Brew!” you called out as you approached him. 

Brew held out his arms, waiting for you. He wrapped you in a strong hug, and you let yourself sink into his big strong arms. 

“Hey! I was afraid I wasn’t going to see you before we left!” Brew squeezed you extra tight, and you had to tap on his arm to remind him to let you breathe. 

He finally released you, and you pulled away from him. “I’m going to miss you so…” his bewildered stare made you stop. “What?”

“Girl,” Sally interjected. “Your neck is covered in bruises.”

“Hickeys,” Brew corrected. 

It took you a few moments to process their words. And then the night came flooding back to you. The dreams you had last night hadn’t been exclusively dreams. You and Ace had made out, and probably would’ve gone further, if you hadn’t been interrupted. 

“Can we not talk about that right now?!” you squeaked, pulling the neck of your shirt up to cover the bruises. 

“Oh my god you slept with him, didn’t you?!” Brew shouted. You could see a few people pause and glance over at the three of you, and you shot daggers. 

“Brew!” you hissed. “Keep it down!”

“Who slept with who?” Epoida asked, suddenly appearing behind Sally. When her eyes landed on you and your stance, she gasped. “No way.”

“I didn’t sleep with anybody,” you said. 

“No. Way!” Epoida was getting louder as you were frantically shushing her. 

“Show me!” Epoida screamed. “Show me right now!”

“Epoida! Keep it down!” you hissed, looking around. There weren’t many familiar faces on the deck at the moment, but you didn’t want to risk it. 

“Let me see, then!” Epoida threatened. “Or I’ll make a scene.”

“Fine!” you pulled your shirt collar back now, revealing your neck. You weren’t sure what it looked like, but Epoida gasped, her eyes wide. 

“Oh my god,” Epoida breathed. “Who did that?”

“Ace. Obviously,” Sally said, watching your reaction closely. You did your best not to respond, but the smirk on her face made you think you weren’t succeeding much.

“She was making out with that one guy though,” Epoida pointed out to the group. “Ozzo?”

“Uzzo,” you corrected. 

“Aha!” Epoida shouted. “We have our culprit!”

“What?!” you demanded, extremely confused about how a simple correction of a name meant anything. 

“Was he good in bed at least?” Epoida asked.

“We didn’t make it to bed!” you hissed. Everyone’s eyes exchanged sly looks, and you groaned at their responses. “Wait, I didn’t even-what is happening?!”

Epoida, Brew, and Sally all busted into laughter, and you found yourself smiling along with them. 

“I’m really going to miss you guys,” you said, going in for a group hug. They all wrapped you in an embrace, and you did your best to hold in your tears. 

“We’ll see each other again real soon,” Brew promised. You all finally broke from your hug, and you gave him a tearful nod. 

“Now go find Whitey,” Epoida said. “She’s a mess.”

It didn’t take you long to find her. She was standing at the center of the deck, bossing people around. You stood and watched her, realizing she really was going to make a good captain. You couldn’t wait to see the reports of the things she would accomplish. 

“Oh!” Whitey cried, seeing you. She handed off her checklist to another crewmate and rushed towards you. She stopped a few feet, looking at your bruises.  

“Oh?” Whitey’s fingers brushed over your neck as she examined the marks littered across it. 

“Please don’t ask,” you groaned, rubbing at them in hopes it would go away. 

“Don’t need to.” Whitey grabbed your wrist and led you off to the girl’s bath house. “Let’s get you fixed up one more time.”

You did your best not to cry at that statement. Whitey always helped you look presentable. She had always helped you pick out outfits, pour drinks, and find new guys to flirt with. You hated being away from her for two years, and you hadn’t expected your reunion to end so suddenly. It truly was bittersweet to think about. 

You glanced at yourself in the mirror as you walked in. It hadn’t felt like it in the moment, but Ace had been rough on your skin. You ran your hand across your neck, goosebumps forming from remembering the passion that had lit inside the two of you the previous night. At that time, you hadn’t cared who would see you. But now, you wanted nothing more than to cover it up. 

You hopped onto the sink counter as Whitey pulled out her makeup bag, searching for the right shade of concealer and foundation. You sat in silence, watching her find the perfect match for your skin. 

“Aha!” she cried, holding it against the light. “Okay, look up.”

You did as you were instructed, and she dabbed concealer onto the most obvious parts and began blending it in. 

“What am I going to do without you?” you said, trying to keep the sadness out of your voice. 

“You’ll manage,” Whitey said. “You always do.”

It was silent for a while, both of you just enjoying the other’s company. A few other females came and went during the process, everyone looking exhausted from last night’s party. Whenever someone came in, Whitey smoothly switched to applying makeup to your face so you wouldn’t get too many odd looks. You exchanged friendly conversation while they were in, but nobody stuck around too long to chat. 

When you were alone again, she switched to the foundation and continued blending the colors to erase the hickies that were blotted across your neck. 

“Ace apologized to me last night.”

“For what?” you asked. You had tried not to sound too interested, but Whitey smiled at your interest. 

“Said he knew how it felt to be me now and wanted to apologize for being a real dick through the whole thing.”

“I see,” you said cautiously. Your breath was caught in your throat, unsure what else to say. 

Whitey gave you a mischievous smile. “Wonder who he meant.”

“Dunno,” you choked out. It was all you could do to pretend you weren’t affected by her words. 

“He shouldn’t have apologized though. Looking back on it. I was the real asshole.” Whitey went back to dabbing at your neck. “Did you know I tried to get him demoted for sleeping with subordinates? Went to Pops and everything.”

“What?” Ace definitely hadn’t told you that part of the story. 

Whitey nodded, her cheeks beginning to pink with embarrassment. “I was awful. In my mind, he made my life hell, so I had to ruin his too. Tensions were really high for a few months. It was all so childish, looking back on it now.”

“And you forgave him because of an apology at a goodbye party?” you asked, looking at her. “Last week you were so upset at the mention of his name.”

Whitey scowled at your sudden movement. “Look up-” You obeyed her, and she continued her work. “Anyway, we had a good heart-to-heart last night. We both did bad things. But maybe he’s not so bad now.”

You gave a dry laugh. “Well alright then.”

“All done,” Whitey said as she capped her foundation. She held the concealer and foundation out to you. “For next time.”

“Whitey-”

“I’m not going to use it. I kept it around for you, so take it.”

Your eyes welled with tears, and you wrapped her in a tight hug. “I love you so much, Whitey. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Hey now.” Whitey’s voice was gentle and soft as she spoke. “I’m still going to be here. Just a transponder call away, okay? Now stop smothering me, you’re going to wipe off all my hard work.”

You finally released her, and the two of you walked up to the deck together. 

“Time to go?” you asked. 

“You’ll have to come see the ship sometime, okay?” 

You nodded, wiping another stray tear from your eye. Whitey gave you one last nice, long squeeze. 

“Be careful with that boy, okay? He may act carefree and wild, but behind that wall, he’s got a sensitive soul.”

You nodded a quiet acknowledgment of her words and pulled away from her. “Take care of yourself, Whitey. Call me when you make it to Fishman.”

“I’m calling you before I make it Fishman!”

“Deal.”

“Oh!” Whitey cried. She dug around in her pocket and pulled out a paper. Then she ripped off a piece and handed it off to you. “Now you’ll never lose me.”

You clutched her vivre card tightly to your chest and did your best to smile through the tears. “Bye, Whitey.”

As you watched her leave, you remembered your own departure, two years ago. You wondered if this was how Whitey felt then, when you had gone off on your own journey without her. Had she been this sad? Had she wondered who she would eat meals with, or who she would get ready for parties with? You never even thought to ask her. Now it was too late. 

“Hey.” Your commander’s cool voice broke through your thoughts, and you jumped slightly at how close he was. 

“Ace.” Your smile grew when you realized it was him. 

“Can we talk about last night?” he asked.

“Yes!” You giggled lightly. “I mean honestly, Ace, if you had just-”

“Last night was just a casual kiss for you, right?” he interrupted. His voice was calm, with a slight touch of panic in it. 

You stopped mid-sentence and stared at him. You felt a pit forming in your stomach, but you pushed it away. 

“What?” you asked. He was looking out on the island, ignoring your sharp gaze. 

“Was that kiss just some drunken makeout session for you?”

You wanted to be honest. You wanted to tell him that his lips had shaken your world, causing tidal waves to engulf your heart. You wanted to tell him that you dreamt of him and what could’ve been if Marco hadn’t found the two of you. 

“Yeah, totally.” You gave a nervous laugh. “That’s what it was for you too, right?”

Ace let out a sigh of relief. “Good. It was just some drunken kiss with no meaning. It was just to make up for-”

“Embarrassing me in front of all our friends and colleagues?” you finished, raising your eyebrow at him. 

Ace finally looked at you and offered a nervous smile. “Right. That. I’m still sorry about that.”

“That’s okay,” you said. Now that you had his attention, you gave him a playful wink. “You know how to make it up to me now.”

Ace quickly looked away from you, and you giggled at the blush forming on his cheeks. Cat and mouse. Chasing each other around and around. He had told you it was his favorite game, and you were beginning to see why. 

Whitey must’ve misinterpreted whatever Ace had said to her last night. It was clear that Ace was still the same Ace you had heard so much about. The one who had a reputation for being a ship-wide flirt. It was the reason Marco had pulled you away, you knew that now. He didn’t want you heartbroken and alone. 

But that was fine. You could keep your tiny crush on Portgas D. Ace tucked away, and it would fizzle into nothing after a while. If Ace wanted a simple fling, you were more than okay with that. You would take whatever you could get. 

“You’re up early,” Marco commented, looking at Ace. “I was banging on your door for 10 minutes.”

“Just wanted to see the captains off,” Ace said, his stiff and awkward tenseness returning. “I wasn’t-”

“Don’t care. Emergency meeting for division leaders and strategists,” Marco said, looking at you. “We need to go now.”

You and Ace were some of the first people to arrive, which was definitely a change for the second division. After a few minutes, only about half of the leaders and strategists were there, but Namur spoke up. 

“I’m assuming the rest of the commanders are working on the departure ships, Pops.”

“Yes,” your father hummed. “Let’s get started.”

“Of course,” Namur said. “There's been an issue with our intel. My men have heard that the Navy is planning to adjust their schematics for Port Logel, but those schematics are being kept under heavy guard. Our only chance to access them is tonight.”

You had been so busy planning a party and saying goodbye to your friends, you had forgotten about your work. There was a mission in a few days. One that you were in charge of the strategy for. 

“So what’s the problem?” you asked. “We’ll still be on the island tonight, right?”

“The problem,” Namur said irritably. “Is that the plans are heavily guarded. Division Eight does recon, not infiltration.”

“So we get another division to go,” you offered. 

“It’s not that simple,” Thatch said. “We have very few people who can successfully operate any kind of infiltration mission. But this level is another ballgame.” 

Everyone looked at you, waiting for you to take the bait. 

“Fine!” you huffed. “What’s the infiltration mission?”

Namur looked around the table. “The plans are only accessible tonight, at the Almus Shores Navy-Maritime Ball.”

You raised your eyebrows. “A ball?”

Namur nodded. “Sengoku will be making an appearance, as well as several high-ranking admirals. Which means half of this table can’t attend. They know our faces too well.”

You scoffed. “That’s highly unlikely.”

“Are you willing to risk them recognizing Marco? What about Curiel or Fossa?” Atmos asked. “There's so few of us that would even fit in at a formal occasion. It’s not worth the risk.”

You looked around and realized Atmos was right. Almost everyone at the table had a bounty of at least half a million berries. They would be well known by the Navy. And most of them didn’t exactly…blend in.

“We need those schematics,” Namur said. “There has to be someone we trust that can go.”

“I’ll go,” you said, looking around. “The Navy still thinks I’m dead, right? I heard that rumor while I was in Wano.”

Ace shot you a look. “Wait, you were in Wano?” he muttered. He said the place as if he had an attachment to it. 

You were about to respond when Whitebeard cleared his throat. “Y/N,” he said. “I should remind you that your two-year gap is not public knowledge.”

You gave a nervous smile. “Right. Sorry.”

“I’ll go too,” Ace offered. “My bounty is only 120,000 berries, and the Navy hasn’t discovered that I’m the second division commander yet.”

Whitebeard frowned. “I’m nervous about you going, Ace. Truthfully, you could be the easiest one to give us away.”

“I’ll clean up!” Ace said desperately.

Your father chuckled. “I’m not sure if that will do it.”

“So let’s bleach his hair and clean him up,” you offered. “We need a B-Team though. Just in case we get caught.”

“We won’t get caught,” Ace said, his words teetering on the edge of cockiness. 

“You’re right,” you agreed. “But we should still have a Team B.”

“Mihal and Kala,” Ace said confidently. “They can keep a low profile.”

You didn’t recognize their names. “Are they a part of the second division?”

Ace nodded. “They were a part of my crew before we joined Pops. We can trust them.”

You nodded. “The four of us should be enough. We’ll go in as pairs. If Ace and I fail, we’ll change tactics to create a diversion while Mihal and Kala grab the intel.”

“Very well,” your father said. “Thatch, go inform Mahal and Kala of their assignment. Y/N, go get fitted for a dress. Ace, I need to speak with you.”

Ace looked nervous, but he hung back while everyone was dismissed. You shot him a thumbs up before Marco shoved you out of the room.

“You’re only making it worse,” Marco muttered. “Let’s go.”

“Making what worse?” you asked, shooting a glance back at the meeting room Ace was now alone in. 

“There’s a policy,” Marco said. “With Commanders and Strategists. You should know this.”

“Know what?” You were starting to get irritated by the secrecy. 

“A disclosure policy,” Marco hissed. “With Pops himself.”

Your heart dropped. “Marco. What did you tell him?”

“I didn’t see shit, so I didn’t say shit,” Marco muttered. “But someone did. Ace can sleep with whoever he wants unless it's another commander or strategist. Then he has to tell Pops about it.”

“But we didn’t do anything,” you argued.

Marco stopped in his tracks and laughed at you. It was clear he thought you were lying.  “Really?” 

His sureness made you second guess yourself. You ran over the past few weeks in your head. “Besides last night, no.”

Marco’s eye twitched. “And the night you stayed in his room? What were you doing then? Just cuddling?” His voice was thick with sarcasm.

“Well…yeah.”

“Bullshit,” Marco laughed. “Don’t lie to me. You know how pissed off that makes me.”

“Marco, I’m not lying! I swear!”

His eyes narrowed at your words and the desperation in your voice, and he examined your face for a long while. 

“Don’t believe me if you don’t want to,” you spat. Your skin was starting to sizzle with your emotions. “I’m going to find a dress.”

“Don’t burn them!” Marco yelled after you, and you slammed the door to the fitting room in response.

You had wished Whitey were here. You all always got dressed up together. Now you tried on dresses alone and walked out to show Marco, who you were still partially angry at. 

Most of them hadn't even been worth showing. A pink dress that was too pale, a mint green gown that made you look too boxy, a purple dress that was covered in hideous rhinestones. Whitey would’ve been able to find the perfect dress for you in one or two rounds. She knew what flattered you better than anyone. 

You were about to give up and just pick one at random when a royal blue gown caught your eye. You would have to wear a corset, but the bottom was loose enough for you to run in it if things got bad. It was satin, so you wouldn’t have to worry about it getting caught on anything if you needed to make an escape through the woods. The only bad thing about it was the few gemstones scattered across the top. It would be easy to see if you weren’t hiding properly. Nevertheless, it seemed like the best option, so you slipped it on and spun around a few times in the mirror. 

You felt like royalty in it. You put on white gloves and emerged from your dressing room to get Marco’s opinion. 

“Practical and gorgeous,” Marco complimented. “Well done. I’m glad at least one of you gets it.”

You looked at him confused. “One of us..?”

Ace emerged from the other dressing room with a Navy Captain’s outfit on. Your heartbeat quickened at his arrival in his new outfit. You were slightly disappointed that he was wearing a shirt, but he looked good in his Navy outfit. 

“I want to be an admiral!” Ace argued. He was pulling at the collar, clearly uncomfortable in his attire.

Marco smacked him upside the head. “Admirals are too well known, idiot! Captain is the best way to blend in.”

“But Captains are lame!” Ace whined.

“This isn’t about being cool!”

“The Navy suits you, Ace.” Your eyes scanned his body. “You should consider a career change.”

Ace seemed to only now realize that you were in the room, and his mouth dropped open as he looked at you. 

He stared at you for a long time, and you started to feel self-conscious about your dress decision. Perhaps you had been too confident in your appearance. 

Marco finally nudged his fellow commander, and Ace blinked a few times as he came back to reality. 

“You look…” Words seemed to fail him. “Great. Amazing. Beautiful.”

You blushed at his words. “Thanks.”

Marco rolled his eyes and blocked the two of you from staring at each other any longer. “I’ll pick out jewelry for you and dye Ace’s hair. You need to go talk to Pops.”

Your breath caught in your throat. “Pops?”

Ace’s eyes darted down and stayed glued to the floor, and Marco nodded. 

“Keep Ace’s dye a soft blonde,” you commented, trying your best to act natural as you turned to go change. “Don’t dye his hair an ugly yellow like yours.”

“Don’t lie!” Marco called after you. You didn’t acknowledge him. You just kept walking, trying to keep your breathing even. 

You changed out of your dress and back into your regular clothes and walked the long journey to your father’s office. As you stood outside the door, you realized how small you were. You really weren’t much different than when you had been three years old, running around the ship and struggling to reach the door knocker on this massive door. 

“Come in,” your father called. You reached out for the handle. With a deep breath, you opened the door and stepped inside. 

“You wanted to see me?” you asked, looking at him. 

“How do you feel about the mission tonight?” he asked. 

You nodded. “It’s rushed. I haven’t had much time to prepare anything, but I believe me and Ace are both excellent at thinking on our feet. We’ll find the opportunity to look at the schematics.”

Your father hummed, thinking about your words. “You and Ace…do you have anything to tell me about that?”

“Are you asking as my captain or my father?”

A vein popped out on your father’s head, but his voice remained even. “They are one and the same on this ship. For everyone. Let me remind you: you do not have special privileges because of your birthright.”

You wondered if his words were supposed to be offensive. You felt no malice behind them, so you let it go. 

You chose your next question carefully. You weren’t about to tell him everything if it wasn’t needed. “Is there anything I’m obligated to tell you as a strategist?”

“Not as a strategist,” Whitebeard pulled out a paper. “But your division commander does have to report sexual or romantic relationships and any overnight stays with any commanders or strategists.”

So technically you wouldn’t have to report anything, which was a relief to know. Only Ace would, which made it a bit more uncomfortable standing in front of your father knowing that. Ace wasn’t a liar, he would’ve told your father anything he needed to know. 

You chose your next words carefully. “Then you know that while me and Ace may have had a small intimate moment, it ultimately means nothing. I can still strategize logically and effectively with him by my side.”

Whitebeard hummed, processing your words. “And you’re sure you can strategize without biases if something were to happen?”

“Of course I can. Are you doubting my capabilities?”

He snorted. “No need to be a little shit about it. Go get ready, you’re dismissed.”

You tried not to let the conversation get to you, but as you walked down the hallway to the bathhouse, it was more and more unnerving. Had Ace said something to your father to make him doubt you? Was he anticipating you screwing up this mission because of Ace? 

You had to push that all from your mind now and focus on forming a solid strategy. You could ask Ace about it all later. You had a ball to crash.

--

Tag list! @taeyoge @teiza @tojislawyer @trafalgardnami @bloopbopsblog @dancingnewcat @dxestyi @flooofity @deadsnothere @h-rhodes1598 (if you'd like to be included in the tag list, just comment or send me a message!)

[my-head-is-an-animal]

The Climb

Summary: You're a scientist, an engineer to be exact. Called to a meeting you had no real right to be at, Optimus Prime takes an exclusive interest in you, but you can't help but ask yourself at every turn, Why?

Rating: 18+ 🌹🩸🍆

Story Masterlist

Chapter 12

This was it. The ship was about to touch down in New York, we made it in good time. The Autobots joined the convoy and I briefly considered hopping inside the blue and red flaming truck, but I needed to focus, I needed to get my head straight to make the impossible climb.

     ‘Hey.’ Lennox got my attention while we rode in the back of Ironhide towards the tall New York buildings where they would make their stand. ‘The second that ship lands, I’ll get you to the top of the tallest building we can find-‘

     ‘You can’t.’ I interrupted him. ‘No electronics. We can’t raise any suspicion for any reason.’

     ‘Harding-‘

     ‘I’ll be fine.’ I told him, only really half believing it. ‘Just hold the line for as long as you can.’

     Lennox was unsure, but nodded anyway.

     Optimus was driving behind Ironhide, pulling his trailer filled with weapons and other things he would need for the fight. He revved just as I finished speaking and I knew why. He didn’t want me to be alone, but there was no other choice.

     The ship landed moments after we arrived at the designated perimeter. The Autobots transformed into their natural forms and Optimus began shouting out orders. Lennox followed suit, commanding the teams to spread out across New York.

     I looked up to see the black exterior of the ship, I couldn’t see the top and fear began flooding my limbs. It was a long way to go.

     ‘Jane.’ Optimus said, quietly behind me. I turned to see him on one knee, staring at me, no one was paying us any attention, they were all too busy getting into their positions. ‘I will give you all the time you need, of that, you can be certain. And when you are done and safely back on Earth, I would like for us to talk of the future. To talk of tomorrow. I have made clear my desires, if you can make it back alive, I would like to know if yours are the same.’

     I could feel my breathing already speeding up. ‘Optimus,’ I almost shook my head. ‘Mine are the same.’ His blue eyes widened just a little. ‘I just need to get through this part first.’ I stepped forward, placing my hand against his cheek, watching his eyes close from the comfort of the contact. ‘I will do everything I can to complete this mission and come back to you. The nights we spent watching the sunset were the best I’ve ever had, please don’t ever forget them.’

     ‘I could never forget a single moment with you.’ He whispered, lowly.

     His eyes opened and for a second, I was blinded by glorious blue light. I placed a kiss against his cheek and felt him vibrate beneath my lips.

     ‘I’ll see you soon.’ I promised, before stepping away to complete my mission.

---

Optimus watched her jog towards the tallest building she could find. He never admitted it, he should have done, but he fell in love with her, and she should have known that. Perhaps she could feel it, she could see so many things about him, surely, she could see his love for her as well.

     This wasn’t the time to dwell on what could have been. The ship was opening, and the enemy was swarming out to destroy any electronics. The fight was about to begin.

     ‘She’ll make it back, Prime.’ Ironhide said, trying to keep his focus on the present.

     Optimus hummed in response.

---

I tried to stay calm, tried to focus on what I needed to do. I needed to make it to the top of the skyscraper next to the ship, climb the ship, sabotage it-

     I needed to think in terms of one step at a time. I just needed to make it to the top of the skyscraper. Just focus on that.

     I climbed up the fire escape stairs, not stopping until I reached the top. The battle had already begun and New York was slowly being torn down. I could see the Autobots fighting the swarms of wasp like creatures that came streaming out of the ship, the bright yellow of Bumblebee, Drift’s quick red blur, and the blue that was Optimus Prime. He was leading the charge as he always did, and it scared me that he would be the first to take the hits.

     There was no time to waste. Lennox and the Autobots wouldn’t last forever, and I had only cut out around fifteen hundred feet. It was marginal compared to what I had left to climb, but at least it was something.

---

Lennox looked up at the building that Harding had jogged towards through his binoculars. They discussed how important it was that she conserve energy where possible, that meant no sprinting, resting when she needed to and keeping her heart rate steady.

     He watched as she jumped from the very top of the building onto the ship. She’d begun the climb.

     ‘That’s it!’ Lennox shouted. ‘Harding’s on the ship. Fall back to the secondary perimeter!’

     His men had begun retreating with the Autobots.

     Harding had calculated roughly how much time it would take her to climb the thirty thousand feet, and added on an extra hour to accommodate for unforeseen circumstances, and the time it would take to plant the dynamite. They would have around eight hours if she kept a steady pace and used the air pressured gun to assist. Eight hours to save the world.

     ‘Hold this line!’ Optimus yelled as they reached the secondary perimeter. This was where they would make their stand.

     New York had been abandoned, they had plenty of warning of the ship’s arrival so there was no need to delay the evacuation. It would get messy, it always did.

     The plan was simple, the Autobots would be targeted first and Lennox and his team just had to assist in keeping them safe. The waspish creatures attacked in swarms, as Harding thought they would, but could easily be dealt with using electromagnetic guns. Minimal effect on the Autobots, maximum effect on anything significantly less advanced.

     Optimus’s eye was being drawn every so often to the black ship, he was worried about Harding. They all were.

---

After the first hour, I was tired. Not tired enough to even contemplate quitting, but tired enough that I worried for the rest of the journey. I used the gun to pull me up, securing myself to the side of the ship and taking some deep breaths, my heart rate was a little too high for my liking, but it wasn’t my biggest concern. There was still a long way to go.

     ‘Come on, Harding.’ I told myself. ‘You’ve still got a long way to go.’

     Lennox was so much better at motivating me. I missed his voice calling up from the bottom of the wall, encouraging me to keep going, but I was on my own now, I would have to make do.

     I kept climbing, I couldn’t stop moving and the next three hours were a struggle. I could almost hear Optimus’s voice telling me not to give up. I couldn’t quit, I had to do this, the world needed to be saved.

---

Lennox was exhausted. He knew he would be. Six hours of continuous attacks, even Bumblebee was struggling. Hound was running low on ammo and there was no sign that Harding had made it anywhere near the top yet.

     Epps was being pinned down in a nearby building and Drift was the only one able to head that way to assist. They didn’t stop firing their guns and taking down as many of these damn things as they could, but the problem now was the ship had begun winding up, like it was preparing to harvest the Earth’s core.

     Harding needed to get a move on.

---

I thought I was going to die. Twenty-five thousand feet up, I was an adrenaline shot down and the temperature was ungodly. I was mentally drained, I was trying to think of somewhere warm to motivate myself to get up the ship, but I could barely do one, let alone both.

     The view from this height was something to behold, a sheen of dark blue melting into light before the dark silhouette of buildings protruded above the horizon line. I wished I could have appreciated the beauty of it fully. I wished I could have shared the experience with Optimus. I even wondered how many times he had seen the Earth the way I did. He needed to see more of the Earth, he needed to understand how wonderful it could be, I wanted to show him that. But my will was breaking.

     I secured myself against the ship for a moment, pulling out my second shot of adrenaline. The air pressure gun was just about to finish charging and I would have a short burst once I pulled myself up the sixty or so feet.

     It was getting harder though. My legs were lead, my arms were shaking, and my breathing was far too heavy. I just couldn’t get enough energy back into my body to make the last five thousand feet.

     I rested my head against the cool metal and injected the adrenaline in through my trousers. I just couldn’t stop, even if I had nothing left. I was so close. The top was within sight, and I could even see a small opening that should have taken me inside.

     I looked down to see the gun was ready. I tossed the empty syringe away, pulled the gun out of its holster shakily and shot straight upwards. Another sixty feet down. I inhaled deeply a few more times, feeling the adrenaline kicking in and pushed as hard as I could upwards.

     Every step was torture, my body was screaming to stop, my mind fighting against it, trying to do the work my body couldn’t. I was getting slower and time was once again running out. I figured I only had another hour before Lennox assumed I failed and there was no way I was scrambling up the rest of the ship in that time. But there was no stopping now. I couldn’t waste the progress I’d made based on assumptions.

     It occurred to me that the creatures who inhabited the ship were paying no attention to me. They really either couldn’t detect me, or didn’t think I was a threat, either way, I needed to use it to my advantage.

     ‘I don’t think I can do this.’ I whispered. ‘The air’s so thin.’

     ‘Use your mask.’ Optimus’s voice rang out in my head.

     I may have been getting delirious. I needed more oxygen. The second the mask was on, I took a deep breath. I needed to rest a moment, I needed to refresh my body, give it what it needed to continue on. I couldn’t stop now.

     The only problem I had, was my suction pads on my feet coming loose for just a moment. They came away from the ship enough that I slipped, without being able to grip back onto the ship. I was falling through the air at a rapid pace, struggling to even touch the side of the ship, let alone grip onto it, on top of that, I was too close to safely pull my chute. I was failing my mission and about to die and there was nothing I could do about it.

---

Optimus had taken too many hits, Ratchet needed to make some quick repairs before he could even consider going back into battle. Ironhide dragged Optimus away from the front line and Ratchet got to work.

     ‘We’re approaching the deadline, Optimus.’ Ratchet said, trying to get him to lie still. Explosions were still going off around them and even though they were used to the violence by now, it was still a devastating state to be in. The screams of the injured were always the worst sound on a battlefield.

     ‘She will make it.’ Optimus said, defiantly.

     ‘What if she doesn’t?’

     ‘She will make it.’ He said much more firmly.

     ‘Optimus, if she hasn’t reached the top by now, her chances of surviving will decrease significantly.’ Ratchet pushed Optimus’s arm back into his shoulder socket and quickly secured it in place enough that he could continue the fight. ‘You can’t take much more of this either.’

     The arm was secure and the great Autobot leader would be able to fight again, but just barely.

     Optimus looked around him, the human soldiers were exhausted, some had fallen, his Autobots were being pinned down in their positions and the enemy was winning. He could not allow this to happen.

     ‘We made a promise,’ he said, loud enough to be heard by everyone close to him. ‘That we would hold this line until Dr Harding was successful in her mission. That mission has not yet been complete, so our duty still calls. She is giving more than she has to make that climb, I will give no less than that to ensure she has the time she needs. I will hold the line until my dying moment, if that is what is required to save planet Earth.’

     Optimus’s face guard slotted into place, and he picked up his sword. He ran hard towards the enemy, slicing and cutting through as many wasp creatures as he could. He could hear the sounds of the men and Autobots around him doing the same. The fight would continue on.

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[ihaveatheoryonthat]

No Mer is An Island

I didn't go out intending to revisit @monsoon-of-art's Mer AU this month, but seeing this piece in full really hit on something, and I had to get the words down. Happy MerMay, guys!

---

When they’d first met, the girl had stopped him to say that he looked kind of like someone she knew.

Given that Emmet had come all this way trying to find his brother, it sounded promising on its face, but looking past the initial wording, revealed itself to be a shallow hope. If she’d been talking about Ingo, she would have been more decisive. He wouldn’t look kind of like this person, but exactly. He’d been through the cycle of leads surfacing and then sinking often enough to know that the odds weren’t good, but it was the best he’d heard since arriving in Hisui and he couldn’t afford not to give it some cursory exploration.

As they moved away from the shaky hope of a rebuilding village, her story became more and more outlandish, but… somehow not less believable; unprompted, she’d mentioned the torn remnants of a subway car, and in a land that lacked rail transport, it lent her version of events a great deal of credence. Something much more worrisome was the claim that his twin had been found pinned beneath the wreck, trapped and slowly wasting away, before being discovered.

It was strange. When, inevitably, Emmet’s questions about a missing person failed, his next strategy was always the train car. People could move on and be forgotten, but an effigy of twisted metal should have been noteworthy.

The matter of physical resemblances had been both explained and complicated as Dawn led them to a rocky outcropping by the sea.

“Well, that’s… why I wasn’t totally sure at first.” She said, scouring the horizon. Eventually, her attention settled in one specific direction, and Emmet idly followed it to a dark little island in the distance. “The thing is, the parts of you that look the same totally look the same. It’s just that Ingo’s… not really human?”

...what.

She held her hands up in placation, grimacing at her own words. “I know, I know. Just hear me out. So the Pearl Clan found him under that big wreck and took him home to heal, only he… kind of sucks at being a merperson? The same ways I suck at it. We both keep getting hung up when we swim, and neither of us distrusted humans the way the other mers did, and you couldn’t pay us to eat raw fish or seagulls or anything like that. I've been wondering about it for a long time, but maybe Ingo was human, too?”

There was a ringing in Emmet’s ears. It took him a moment to realize that it was an actual sound coming from somewhere over the water. Something in the back of his head told him he should recognize it, but it seemed unimportant compared to the information Dawn had just dumped over his head.

“That is my brother’s name.” He eventually choked out, to the exclusion of the rest of it.

Dawn’s expression cracked into a smile. “Worth a shot! I’ll go grab him and come back-- just don’t worry, okay? Most people think he’s kind of scary.”

Despite the amount of time it had been since he’d had to field that particular criticism, Emmet felt himself bristle. “He cannot help it. His face is just like that.”

The girl paused in the middle of digging through her bag and tilted her head, “I thought it was just because he always seems kind of down, but that makes sense, too.”

Unsure what to say to that, Emmet remained silent as she took something out, unlashed the satchel from around her waist, and then brought a vibrant shell to her lips.

The notes resonated, briefly, with whatever it was coming from across the waves.

“What is that?”

“It’s a special flute,” Dawn said, adjusting her grip on it now that she was no longer playing, “I’ve had it since I got here, but I can’t remember why.”

“Not the instrument. The sound. What is causing it?”

“The… flute?” She asked, baffled, and slapped her tail against the rocks.

It took a second for Emmet to rewind and process that fact.

She had implied that before, hadn’t she? Back when she’d confirmed Ingo’s name. Strange how one piece of information could be so much more pertinent than the rest and simultaneously so much less important.

Emmet consciously had to rein himself in. If humans could turn into merpeople, this could be it. He might be about to see his twin for the first time in years.

Dawn departed shortly thereafter, handing him the flute as a gesture of goodwill, and took off in the direction she’d originally scouted. Emmet pocketed the strange shell for safekeeping and then moved her satchel to somewhere the waves couldn’t sweep it away.

The sound continued that entire time, carried from somewhere far away. When several minutes passed without interruption, he finally figured out what it was: whale song. He didn’t profess to be an expert in the matter, but now that he was listening properly, he was relatively certain of that.

After some time, it stopped, and he immediately found that he missed it.

In its absence, he returned to the water’s edge, wondering if the dark island in the distance wasn’t where Dawn was headed, where his brother lingered. It seemed too much to think that he might catch a glimpse of either when it was so far away, but the reassurance would be welcome. He had little doubt that Dawn would return, particularly given that he held the key to her humanity, but the low crooning over the water proved that there were predators about, and he wouldn’t want haste to lead her into danger.

When he scanned the ocean, however, he found that the island, too, had vanished.

---

Ingo spent a great deal of his time alone.

It was by choice, but at times, it also felt involuntary.

The Pearl clan was more gracious than he could have asked for, worried that his continued stints on his own might reignite the loneliness that had left him so fragile upon their first meeting; while he was happy for their company, it wasn’t what he was missing. That was the problem, though: he didn’t know what would fill the void in his heart. Their camaraderie was close-- had been rejuvenating when he’d first been ushered into the fold-- but only to a point. He felt that it was the right track, just veering ever so slightly off course; if he could figure out where his destination lay, he could course correct to reach it.

It had been years, though, and while he was no longer soul-sick, the ache of it refused to leave him.

When it became too much to bear, he would leave for the surface, to float on his back and close his eyes. The ocean air had become familiar, but it went deeper than that, the churning sea so close to making a connection somewhere in the recesses of his being. He was put in the mind of the artificial reef he’d awoken in-- pinned, scared and without a trace of memory-- but had no idea how they could be related. More than anyone, he knew how heavy the construct was; it seemed wholly antithetical to the gentle rocking that only occurred above the waterline.

Frustrated with his lack of progress, but not surprised, he let out a heavy sigh and pitched it halfway through, low in his throat. He didn’t know what purpose this ability served, as none of the other merfolk could hear when he dipped into this range, but it was cathartic; he could cry for the fact that the clan had been so kind, so welcoming, and he still didn’t belong. He could lament that there was something wrong with him, that he still felt sickness in between the beating of his heart, and he feared he would never escape it.

He could admit, in tones no one would ever hear, that he didn’t know how much longer he could bear the solitude before it consumed him whole.

Though he knew perfectly well that she was unable to parse his voice like this, it died in his throat as Dawn poked her head up from the waves. Unwilling to have a conversation with her in such an undignified position, he turned over and dipped back below the water so they could speak properly.

“Is rebuilding going well?” He asked, following up from the last topic they’d touched upon, “Has there been any recovering from the salt water?”

The humans weren’t bad, he knew-- and had known for as long as he could recall-- they were just scared. For as disastrous as the region’s flooding had been, the one silver lining was that it had given the clans cause to cooperate with the villagers and, slowly, the merfolk were beginning to make progress. He couldn’t be certain how the humans looked upon the situation, but they accepted aid, at least, and that was something.

“It’s...” There was a conspicuous pause. “Going. That’s not why I came to talk, actually.”

“No?” He asked, unable to find it in himself to be surprised. Dawn was like the sea itself at times, ever shifting, just shy of capricious.

“No. I don’t want to jump the gun or anything, but I think I met someone who knew you before! He’s waiting for us at the bluff.”

He blinked at her, the words sitting at the surface of his thoughts for several seconds before sinking in, “What makes you believe that this individual and I share any sort of connection? I don’t mean to cast doubt, but if even I’m unable to say with any certainty...”

“He was looking for someone called Ingo.” She said, and while there was a twitch of her tail that suggested it wasn’t the whole truth, Ingo was too caught up in that declaration to catch it. “He looks like you, too. A scary amount.”

“He’s also an orca?” It might be nice, he thought, to physically be on the same level as someone for a change-- unmarked as the odd man out in this regard, on top of everything else that made him feel so detached from the clan.

“Well… no, it’s mostly in the face. But your coats are basically the same!”

Interesting. That, more than anything else, lent credence to her theory. As strongly as he felt about his name, his complete lack of any other personal details meant that he couldn’t be entirely sure it was what he’d used prior to waking up beneath the ruins. The fact that this person was seeking someone of the same name was noteworthy, but not conclusive. The resemblance was also compelling, but could be explained by a mimic octopus or the like.

His clothes, however, had been a subject of bewilderment among the clan for some time. Drag caused his coat to hinder his movement and speed, and it was constantly becoming caught on bits of rock or other hazards. His hat was somewhat more practical, helping him see above the water on bright days, but beneath the waves, all it did was threaten to fly away if caught in the mildest of currents. Even if this was a misunderstanding and Dawn’s contact didn’t know of him, perhaps he could ask what the utility was.

“I see.” He narrowly refrained from breathing it out as a sigh; there was little use in speculating if confirmation or denial really was so near, “If he’s waiting, we ought not to leave him at the station. Are you ready to depart for the Clamberclaw Bluffs?”

Dawn took him by the forefinger and smiled at him-- and where he occasionally saw a flash of pity in it, there was nothing but anticipation.

“Let’s go!” She said, tugging him forward, a current all her own.

Ingo allowed it to happen, allowed her to be the force driving his tired cab onward. Maybe, when they reached their destination, there would be someone there to meet it.

---

The first indication that Emmet was no longer alone on the rocky outcropping was Dawn hefting herself up onto the edge with the grace of someone still adjusting to that specific workout. He refrained from commenting on that fact both because he liked to think himself polite and because something else stole his attention away shortly thereafter.

Offset from where she’d appeared, the water warped unnaturally, and it took a second for him to realize that it was because it was something else was surfacing, something massive enough to distort the water as it rose.

“Oh,” Said his brother’s voice, loud as one of his directing calls whilst somehow maintaining a sort of gentle surprise, “You’re human.”

Even though he’d been warned as much, as he blinked upwards, trying to process the reality he’d found himself living, he said, “You’re… not.”

“Was… was I supposed to be?” Ingo turned his head as he said it, a hand curling to rest against his lips-- and it was so achingly familiar that, for just a second, it was possible to overlook the fact that his forearm had to be longer than Emmet’s full height.

“Yes?” He half-asked, trying to keep his expression from dipping into anything too ridiculous in his incredulity, “To my knowledge, identical siblings are usually the same species.”

The animate half of Ingo’s face scrunched, puzzled, and he leaned over on his arms to put them on the same level. He spent several seconds silently assessing Emmet, before returning with, “We do look quite similar, don’t we?”

“Identical.” Emmet repeated, insistent, and he couldn’t keep his voice from crackling on it, “We are-- we’re supposed to be identical twins.”

“And I take it from your response that you were never an orca?” His brother said, a little helplessly.

“No.” At that, however, he stepped forward, emboldened both by the certainty that this was somehow his missing twin-- all but confirming that he had never been in any danger-- and a suddenly-consuming curiosity.

Ingo watched his approach, but did nothing to stop him. The only movement was that of one enormous, clawed hand tucking itself into the tattered remains of the opposite sleeve and, abruptly, Emmet realized he was still wearing his uniform’s hat and coat. The hat and coat that had been commissioned in tandem with the ones Emmet wore right now. Emmet, who was notably human-sized.

How?

The nearer he drew, the more clearly he could make out the black mass in the water beyond, a shadow that stretched and curved into an undeniably fish-shaped tail, floating just high enough for a dorsal fin to cut through the surface.

With a new clarity, he looked up, taking in the black patches that both camouflaged the actual lines under his brother’s eyes and made his weariness look orders worse, and asked, “Was the whale song your doing?”

The too-pale skin of Ingo’s face went faintly pink. “You were able to hear that?”

Emmet felt his face crack into a grin, “You are not quiet.”

“No, no, you misunderstand,” He tried, though the flush only intensified at the comment, “The frequency is inaudible to the other merfolk. I didn’t think anyone else was physically able to hear it.”

“Wait,” Said a mildly-familiar voice and, with a start, Emmet remembered they weren’t alone, “Is that what you’re doing when you float on the surface like a dead fish? You’re just screaming into the sky?”

“That is-- no. Not in the slightest!”

“If he yelled, you would know. Even as a human.” The commentary earned him a downward glance through narrowed eyes.

“Regardless,” Ingo said, transparently trying to get them back on a track that didn’t lead to further teasing, “I’m surprised that you were able to discern it without being a mer yourself.”

Emmet hummed, considering that, and then turned his head. “I’m not. Other people cannot read your face, but I can. It makes sense that I can understand you now, too.”

“Because you’re… my twin brother.” Ingo said haltingly, testing the words for himself as if to see if they were any more convincing in his own voice.

Emmet smiled, though not without an edge of melancholy, letting him reach a conclusion in his own time. That wasn’t disbelief, he knew, but it was plain to see how lost his brother was, and hurrying him wouldn’t help.

He wouldn’t push, but… but maybe it would be okay to make sure this was real, that he hadn’t hit his head upon arriving in Hisui and managed to fool himself into thinking this might finally be it.

Holding one hand up to indicate a lack of aggression-- as if something so small could do anything to hurt someone with the proportions of a killer whale-- he took a tentative, questioning step forward and asked, “Can I touch?”

Ingo blinked at him, focused momentarily on his palm, and then back on his face. In lieu of an answer, he rested his head on his arms in full, putting himself in range to reach more comfortably. His bright, bright eyes tracked the motion until he couldn’t any longer, and he breathed out, slow and impossibly long.

The skin beneath Emmet’s hand was dark, the stripe of it trailing up to a floppy ear and down below the line of a collar, but still warm and still undeniably human. He’d half expected it to feel rubbery under his touch, but the biggest difference was the subtle grit of drying salt. He was reminded intensely of the summer their family visited the Decolore Islands and specifically of when, as a joke, he’d tried to push his brother into the water, only for Ingo to clutch his hand that much more tightly and send the both of them tumbling in. Having to go on in wet clothes had been bad enough until they began to dry, contrasting outfits stiff with the residual salt on their persons. As children, it had been unbearable. He could only hope it didn’t itch the same way, now.

He only realized he’d spaced out at the renewed rumble as his twin began to speak again, “--not sure. Are you still with us, Emmet?”

For a second, he froze in place, and then drew his hand back, breaking out into an unburdened smile. Beaming up at his brother, he said, “Ingoooooo, I never told you my name.”

Ingo’s brow furrowed as he mentally played the conversation back, and then he glanced to Dawn, who held her hands up and shook her head. When that failed to yield any plausible explanation, his gaze flitted back over to Emmet, uncertain, as if he’d done something wrong.

“It’s good!” Emmet said before his twin could start to reverse down the tracks, “I do not know what happened, but you’re still you. That is all that matters to me.”

As quietly as he was physically capable of with such robust lungs, Ingo repeated “My brother,” to himself, already coming to terms with the idea, and Emmet stepped forward again.

He leaned into his twin’s shoulder, heedless of the water that immediately soaked through his coat, and, as best he could, pressed the side of his face to Ingo’s. Against his own side, he felt a pulse speed up, powered by a heart that was finally large enough to match the outpouring of love its owner had always put into the world.

A hand moved to cradle his back, painstaking in the care behind it, and within two beats of that massive heart, the whale song began anew.

[cwritesforfun]

Patrick Zweig x Fem!Reader: Be My Coach? And Girlfriend?

Y/N = Your Name

Bold and Italics from movie *** I Do NOT own the lines from the movie or the characters ***

Masterlist

Y/N’s POV

You were out for redemption this year. Nothing was going to stop you.

You stand in the rain looking at the court for the New Rochelle Challenger tomorrow. Your first round was tomorrow and you were ramped up hence why you ran in the rain 5 miles to the court to see where you would be playing.

You then decide to start your walk back.

The rain starts to clear as you walk through the parking lot and you hear your name being yelled from the one car in the lot. You jog over when you see it’s just Patrick Zweig.

You exclaim, “It’s good to see you again, Patrick.” Patrick asks, “What are you doing out in the rain?” You answer, “I need to run off the adrenaline I feel. I’m playing tomorrow in the Challenger.” He replies, “No sh**! That is a crazy coincidence! I play in the men’s singles match the next day.” You ask, “And what are you doing in your car in the lot 2 days early?” He shrugs and answers, “I don’t want you to pity me, my card declined and I have no hotel to go to, so I was hoping to just sleep in my car until I play.” You ask, “Do you want to stay with me? I have extra space and they gave me a second room key.” He asks, “Are you being serious right now?” I answer, “I’m serious. If you drive us to the hotel, the other key is yours.” He excitedly leans over to open the passenger door and I get inside. He starts the car up and starts driving.

You ask, “So, why didn’t you call after Atlanta?” Patrick asks, “Do we have to talk about this now?” You answer, “Either now or later. Just remember I’m letting you stay with me for free.” He sighs and replies, “I was scared of how serious you and I were getting. We were exclusively dating and it terrified me to have someone so loyal and perfect in my life. I broke it off because I thought it was the right thing to do and I thought it would make me better at tennis… After the breakup, I had sex with Tashi purely out of lust and bad decisions. I shouldn't have done it. I found myself missing our relationship a lot and I wanted to call you to talk several times. I saw you winning and climbing the ranks. I didn’t want to bring my mess to you, so I just silently supported you.” You ask, “Do you regret our breakup?” He answers, “Yeah. It haunts me to this day and I should never have done it… I have a crazy idea and I’m only asking because we’re driving so you cannot hit me or I’ll crash. Do you promise to hear me out?” You answer, “I promise with a cherry on top.” He laughs and replies, “I want you to be my coach. You’re a stronger player mentally and physically. You have the discipline and mindset to succeed. You already coach children’s tennis and you know what you’re doing. I admire the he** out of you as a tennis player but also as a person. I think you could really push me to win in my last year of eligibility next year or this year if I make it through this Challenger.” You reply, “I’ll do it. When’s your next practice.” He replies, “I have a warm-up before the match at 5 am." You reply, "OK, I'll go with you. We can start then." He swerves a little and you exclaim, "Please keep two hands on the wheel. The rain is bad and I don't want to die." He replies, "Sorry, I was just surprised how soon you wanted to start." You reply, "Dedicated coaches start sooner rather than later... now I do have a few notes to show you when we get back to my room. I have been silently supporting you recently too." You notice him smile and he says, "Oh really? And you took notes on my playing." You reply, "Yeah I did. I learned from you and I knew if I ran into you, I wanted to give you my notes to help you improve. I always want to help and uplift others." He smiles and replies, "And that's why you're the best human to ever life." You laugh and reply, "I really don't know about that, okay just park here by this door. It's close to my room."

In your room, Patrick looks around and you ask, "What's on your mind? You seem a little lost in your thoughts." Patrick answers, "I just hate that I'm bringing my mess to you. I really didn't want to do that." You reply, "That's okay, Patrick. I care about you and you deserve a good night's sleep to prepare for your matches. I believe in you and think you have what it takes to succeed. And everyone's life is kind of messy, some are just better at hiding it." He smiles and you ask, "What if you take a shower and get all cleaned up then I share my notes with you? I have some extra bananas and oatmeal if you want that to snack on. I know you must be starving too." He moves forward cupping your face with his hands before placing a light kiss on your forehead. He says, "The world doesn't deserve you. You're genuinely perfect. I will say yes to everything you just said." You smile and he goes to shower. You heat up the water in the kettle because you need to make oatmeal and you want tea to calm yourself. Of all the things you expected from tonight, reuniting with Patrick and feeling all of those crazy emotions was not one of them. You still love Patrick, but he hurt you. It was obvious he was hurting when he broke up with you and based on what he said tonight, he didn't communicate his true feelings to you and was scared of the future. He seems to be a bit more grounded now, but he still seems so lost. You know he can be great in life because you've seen him be on top (not like that... dirty mind) and work hard for what he wants. You just need to show him his potential. You just hope your heart doesn't hurt in the process.

That night, as Patrick munches and snacks, you show him your notes on how he can improve. You also go over a game plan for a few quick fixes for his first upcoming match which he agrees to. You notice the time and decide to go to bed. Patrick sleeps next to you and you both end up cuddling by the time you wake up. It's the best you've slept in a while and you do not want to get up.

You get up for your 5 am morning practice and Patrick asks, "Do you have to go? I was comfy." You press a kiss to his forehead and say, "Yes I do have to go. Will you be at my match later?" He answers, "Of course, Y/N. 2 pm, I'll be there. I can just walk in, right?" You answer, "I'll get my coach to put you on my list. Just walk to the VIP area. I'll leave you a key card next to the coffee, okay? There is free breakfast for all who are staying here from 7 am to 10 am, so get free food, okay?" He replies, "OK, good luck at practice." You thank him and get your bag. You change and leave the room.

Your warm-up goes well.

Your breakfast with your Coach is nice. Your Coach is surprised to hear Patrick will be at the match and in your row.

You relax and take a nice walk around the area. Fans are everywhere, but you manage to avoid most of them.

Patrick's POV

After Y/N left, all I could think was that I should have gotten up and gone with her. I missed her already. She's so kind and loving. She hasn't changed one bit. She even agreed to be my Coach without much coaxing. Would she be mad if I asked her out on a date? I just like her and she likes my mess. UGH SIGH WTF are my thoughts?!

I get up now restless, watch some tv until it turns 7 am, get free breakfast, and eat a lot. God, I was so hungry.

I go back to the hotel room and change into something presentable to see Y/N's match. I leave and drive to the courts. I park in the player's lot and I talk to VIP who give me a ticket for today. I find Y/N's Coach who must remember me and we catch up until Y/N's match.

Y/N as a tennis player is an exhilarating experience to watch. She moves with such ease and is very intentional. How she plays is how she is as a person, both very meaningful and observant. She's also really hot and that hasn't changed.

Y/N wins and will advance in two days. Her Coach told me that I could go with Y/N's team to meet Y/N when she's ready to leave. I don't have to be told twice. I want to see her and congratulate her.

We wait and someone comes by to inform us that Y/N is in physical therapy right now. She should be back soon. I didn't know she was hurt. I hope she's okay.

Y/N walks in and the room lights up. She hugs her team then hugs me. I exclaim, "I'm so proud of you. I knew you could do it." She half-smiles and says, "Thank you." Her team asks if I want to join for team dinner and Y/N's eyes look like they're begging me to say yes. I agree and they tell me that I can drive Y/N there. I grab Y/N's bag to carry it to the car and we head to my car. We get inside and I ask, "So uh... are you okay? You seem far away right now." She answers, "I'm just ... It's nice to have someone in my corner who really cares about me again. I really missed you." I take her hand, press a kiss to the back, and say, "I'll always be in your corner. I missed you too. You wanted me to go to this dinner, right? I thought your eyes were telling me to go, but I could've misread it." She half-smiles and says, "I don't think I would be able to stand the dinner without you. I need your laughter and joy tonight." I reply, "And that you can have madam! Let's get you some food. I bet you're starving." She laughs.

We drive to a restaurant and we head inside where we're led to a private room. The room has a table set up for dinner and a TV with Y/N's earlier match queued up. I see, her team is going over the match and she feels unsure of something. I need to find out why she didn't like the match. She looked good today.

I sit down with Y/N next to me and exclaim, "I know you want joy and laughter, so you should know that while I do think you're an amazing tennis player, I also find you very hot. I couldn't stop myself from thinking that as you played today." She asks, "Patrick, is what we're doing going to be more casual or not? Because I'm going to be your Coach and I don't want my heart hurt in this process." I answer, "I would very much like to exclusively date you and take you out on a date. I understand if you cannot be my girlfriend and my Coach at the same time though. I can wait." She half-smiles and says, "I know for a fact, you cannot wait. You're not a very patient man... I would like to go on a date with you too." I smile and reply, "Great, I'm going to call you my girlfriend even though we haven't been on a first date this time around. I just think girlfriend and Y/N go together." She smiles and kisses me on the cheek.

Before I can say anything else, her team enters. I hold Y/N's hand under the table and they all take their seats. Servers enter and start taking orders. Y/N's hand trembles occasionally and I start rubbing my thumb against the back of her hand to try to calm her.

Y/N's team goes over the plays. I try to lighten the mood by adding some jokes or personal stories. Y/N seems to like my stories and she's very engaged. Her team seems slightly annoyed by me. Her Coach even pulls her aside in a heated argument at one point.

After dinner in my car, I drive us back to the hotel and we go to the hotel room. Y/N starts changing in front of me and I tear my eyes away. It feels wrong watching her, even though I've seen her with less on. I change into comfortable clothes as well.

I get in bed next to Y/N and exclaim, "So tonight was something." She sighs and answers, "Yeah it was... My Coach pulled me aside to say that you're a bad influence on me." That is not the first time I've heard that comment. I laugh and ask, "Did they say why?" She answers, "Yeah... they think you're the reason I seemed off when I was not on the court. I was zoned in on the court and I personally think I played well. Before the match today, I found a nice area away from fans to sit in silence because I was tired of all the constant pressures that have to do with my team. I understand that they want the best for me, but sometimes they treat me as a cog in a machine, not a real human. It's stupid that they think you're the problem when they are the problem. You're the fix." I smirk and ask, "The fix? How so?" She answers, "You make me feel less alone and you make me feel like a real person. I know we didn't always see eye to eye on stuff, but we talked. Having you here has been nice." I reply, "I'm glad I can be here for you... You don't have to go with me tomorrow. You deserve some rest." She replies, "No silly, I promised you I would go. I don't break promises and besides, I won't be able to rest thinking about your match." I kiss her forehead and reply, "Ok."

SHOULD I WRITE A PART TWO?!??!?!?

Patrick's first match?!!? Y/N's second match?!!?! Art & Patrick's Match?!?!?!?!?

[faerunsfinestmisfits]

Rules

Hello, and welcome to my blog! My name is Jax, my pronouns are they/them, and I’m an old dirty bastard. I have 27+ experience with RP overall, mostly written and TTRPG.

Here are my rules.

This blog is mature, not always 100% PC but 100% accountable. I’m a 40 year old AFAB genderfluid transmasc queer. As stated above, my pronouns are they/them, but I’m comfortable with she/her and he/him as well. I will absolutely respect your pronouns.

I’m not mutually exclusive per se, but I am more likely to interact with mutuals once we start something together. Non-mutuals are, of course, allowed to like starter calls and reply to opens, as well as send in memes, especially if you follow me first. I’ll likely follow you back.

My timezone is US Mountain Time. I’m a married stay-at-home-parent to a teen and a preschooler, as well as a crafter working on starting an Etsy store. I’m not always around, but I check my blog frequently during the day. Some days I may not be active, but I promise I am never ignoring you.

I’m a safe space for LGBTQIA+, sex workers, drag performers, and people in recovery/seeking sobriety. I myself am in recovery, and I will be more than happy to lend an ear if you need it. If you don’t like any of the things that came before this sentence and want to tell me why I’m wrong, please reconsider interacting with me because I will not be nice about you being a dick.

That being said, I know that I am kind of a dick. I try not to be, but it happens, and if I overstep my bounds or do something to make you uncomfortable, please feel free to let me know, or just drop me as an RP partner. I will not be upset if you ghost me, because I understand.

Please don’t come at me with politics or religion. I am unaffiliated in both matters. If you want to talk spiritual spooky shit, though, I’m all for it.

I try to check on my blog every day, but I may not be active every day as I have several blogs and a kiddo and home to take care of. If you think I am ignoring you, I promise you that I am not. I am just ADHD to the max and I probably didn’t see it or it got eaten by the tumblr gods. Just shoot me a message to check in and I’ll let you know if I got it.

As this blog is run by an elder millenial mun with lots of mature content, anyone under 18 should NOT be interacting. I really prefer to RP with 21-25+, but absolutely no one under 18. If you don’t have your age range in your blog, or you have a blog that is not labeled at least 18+, I will not interact with you. Absolutely NO MINORS.

There will be NSFW themes, violence, drug references, etc. I will do my best to put these themes under read mores as well as tagging with common trigger tags. I respect anyone’s wish to stop interacting with or following me, and I won’t be mad about it.

This is a multiverse/ship blog! All threads/interactions/ships with individual muses are considered to be in their own verses, unless otherwise discussed with all muns involved. I support interacting with duplicates/twins/non-canon compliant/OCs, etc. Jealousy will not be tolerated, I’m too old for that shit.

When it comes to sexual NSFW themes, I will respect your boundaries on triggers and kinks. I also prefer to keep these under read mores, I understand if you don’t use a read more but I will. I am fine with Fade to Black if that is what you prefer.

Any questions, please just ask! I’m a giant teddy bear, I’m probably more apprehensive about interacting with you than you are of me.

[gucciwins]

am i the only one who doesn’t want a happy ending

actually i want more angst where he goes begging on his knees to her and she’s stone cold and then like three years later she’s thriving and he’s still missing her….

heartbreak can lead to healing

A/N: hola amores! honestly was not planning a second part on the angst piece because it doesn't even have a name but you all requested a part two so here it is. be kind and let me know what you think.

part one

//

“I’m not doing this, Harry.” 

“What do you mean?” He frowns. He can’t lose you. 

“This relationship,” you point gesture to him and yourself. “It’s clear we both want different things.” 

“I want you.” 

You feel the butterflies swarm your belly at the confession, but he would not talk you into staying with him. You were breaking up with him and moving on because you deserved better. The beginning of your relationship was bliss. He was the perfect boyfriend who showered you with affection and small gifts, always spending time with you and your friends. He had become an exclusive member at girl nights because he was really good at adding designs to all your nails, something you all struggled with. He fit perfectly, but you didn’t fit in his life.

It was clear he was two different people, the person he was with you and the person he was with his friends. You didn’t know which one was the real one, and you were not going to stick around to find out. You hold firm, not letting your walls fall because you know he’d find a way to bring them all down with one stumble. Stella and Aisha promised you it was the right thing to do for yourself. They would never stand to let you be with someone that had you questioning what they were doing every minute they were apart from you. You had cried and drank your feelings away, and you knew as soon as you left Harry’s arrived at your apartment, they'd be there with ice cream and wine, a perfect combination to heal a heartache. 

“No, Harry. You don’t.” 

Harry frowns, “how can you say that?” 

You shrug. 

“You know I love you. I love you so much.” 

“Not enough to leave the people in your life who hold a bad influence in your life.” 

Harry groans, “it’s not that easy.” 

You shrug, “it really is, H.” 

“I’ve known them for over half my life.”

“And me only close to two years.” You remind him.

“Stop, it’s different. Always has been with you.”

You know it was different. Harry approached you at the bookstore wanting a book recommendation after seeing the large stack in your hands. You laughed and plucked the book from the top wishing him the best of luck. After that, he showed up every day at the bookstore, wanting to see you. It was after a week that he finally saw you again. He talked about the book and how much he loved it, and when he left that day, he went home with three new books you chose for him and plans for a first date. 

The relationship blossomed from there, but you took it slow. You dated for three months before you even let Harry ask you to be his girlfriend. Then at six months, he met your friends, soon followed by your families. His friends were the last ones meeting them officially at one year. It’s clear he spoke about you because everyone knew your name, but everyone was surprised to see a plain jane, as they liked to call you. Harry told them to knock it off, but they all laughed it off. You were never at ease with his friends, which should have been a warning from the start, but you were blinded by your love for Harry.

“I love you, Harry.”

“Then stay,” he pleads, getting down to his knees and wrapping his arms around your waist. 

“I need to feel respected and safe in our relationship, but all I feel is anguish and insecurity.” You need him to understand. “You know that’s not me.”

“I’ll change, I will, baby, please.” Harry’s close to tears, but you need to rip the band-aid off. 

“It’s over, Harry. We’re breaking up.” 

You let it sit in the air for a minute. A weight has been lifted off your shoulders. Harry’s tears fall free against your shirt, you should feel guilty, but you don’t. It’s time you put yourself first. 

“Goodbye, Harry. Take care of yourself.” 

You remove his arms from your waist and leave him on his knees as he repeats his request for you to stay. Leaving his apartment for the final time, you shed a few tears because you love Harry. Some part of you always will, but your relationship wasn’t equal. You were a low priority in his life when it came to you or his friends. Tonight he proved where they stood because he couldn’t part with them, not seeing how much they were weighing him down. You couldn’t save him. He needed to do that on his own. 

Walking away wasn’t giving up. It showed how much strength and love you had for yourself. 

You would be okay. 

// 

Three years later 

You weren’t the biggest fan of moving, but you were excited about the new journey you were about to embark on. The upside was that you allowed yourself to get rid of a lot of unnecessary items you’ve been holding onto for too long. 

“Babes!” A shout comes from what used to be your bedroom. 

“What’d you find?” 

You make your way and find your best friend, Thea, digging around an old box labeled Don’t Open. She didn't listen as she had different items displayed on the floor. 

“What is all of this?” 

Memories. 

It was hard to part with these items a few years ago. They meant too much for you to throw them out. 

You sigh, recognizing the old Joni Mitchell record, Blue, and a tattered Rolling Stone shirt. “They were from my last relationship.” 

Thea gasps, “these are Harry’s stuff.” Realization hits her, seeing all the stuff you once considered so important. “Why was it hiding in the back of the closet? Are you leaving it here?”

“Forgot about it, honestly.” 

“Can I keep the record? It looks well taken care of even though the sleeve looks damaged.” 

You laugh, “it’s yours if you really want it.”

“Amazing,” she cheers. 

The record played around your apartment for the longest time. You found it on your second date at a flea market, and Harry had told you that he had to hear how it sounded. It was a perfect album; after that, it became your album, always playing when he came for a visit or you were cooking together. You used any excuse to listen to it. After the breakup, it took you a long time until you could listen to Joni Mitchell without thinking of him. 

You take a peak at a few remaining items, mainly handwritten letters and poems, and you know it is time to throw them out. You were happy. There was no need to reminisce about the past. 

“I can dump this all out.” 

“Or,” Thea starts, and you already know where she’s going with this. 

“Don’t say it.” 

“You ended on bad terms. Closure is good, babes.” 

You sigh, “not everyone needs it. I’m really happy. The happiest I’ve ever been.” 

Thea nods, “that’s very true. You’re a shining star now.” 

You leave Thea to keep looking at the items, knowing she would be a good friend to pack it all up again. There is no need for all that in your life. 

“Baby?” 

You and Thea look at each other with identical grins as you’re quick to drop the small duffle bag in your hand. You walk out to see your boyfriend of two years, holding a cup holder with three coffees and iced water and a bag of jalapeno bagels in another. The aroma was quick to settle in the empty living room.

“Hi,” you breathe out, taking him in. You’d never get tired of looking at him. 

He turns, a giant grin on his smile. You swore you could see his blue eyes sparkling as he looked at you dressed in a black corduroy dungaree. It was a moving day, so you kept it casual and comfortable, wanting to be able to move and carry boxes around. Alex looked at you as if you were the most beautiful woman. It makes your heart grow every time. 

“We got everything finished. Augustus is surprisingly a big fan of organization and had everything done on time.” Alex places everything on the empty counter before coming over to you and giving you a kiss hello. You melted in his arms, loving how perfectly you fit together. 

“Missed you,” you murmured against his lips. 

“Missed you too. Sad you made us spend the night apart.” 

You giggle, “you needed to say goodbye.”

“Yeah, I had to take a final cold shower as the boiler was again not working.”

You wince, knowing you’ve had your fair share of cold showers in his apartment, but he always found a way to warm you up, even if it resulted in the need for a second shower. 

“Well, never again,” you remind him.

“Mhm, and I’m so lucky you know why?” 

You tilt your head, peering up at him. You have to admit seeing those gorgeous blue eyes every day would be a huge blessing. No longer having to wait for the end of each other’s work day. Instead, he would be the first thing you see every morning. You did not want to look away the first time you laid eyes on him. Alex is beautiful, and you love telling him because the blush that settles on his face every time makes you feel warm inside because you’re the one making him react and feel loved. You’re certain Alex is your other half. No one has ever made you feel completely at ease as he has. 

“Why, precious?” 

“Because all my showers will be with you.”

“All of them,” you question.

“Yes, sugar. Every single one. We’ll be saving water,” he adds on.

“Somehow, I doubt that.” 

Alex laughs, and you hear it echo through the empty living room. You run your hands through his dark chocolate hair, feeling how soft it is, and you know he’s been using your hair treatment even if he denies it every time you ask. “Should I buy two of my hair masks now?” 

“What? No, why would you?” Alex asks, confused. 

You laugh, moving your hands to cup his face and feeling his beard under your palms. “I know you use it. Might as well have it stocked.”

Alex shrugs, “only if you want to. I’ll even pay for it, baby.” 

“I love you,” you bring your lips against his, melting in his arms as he deepens the kiss. 

“As cute as you two are, we really need to get those boxes down and get out of here.” Thea interrupts with a smile. “Oh, bagels,” she dives for the bag, giving it a big wif staring at the goods Alex brought them. “You know what? You can carry on. I don’t care.”

“Always good to see you, Thea.” 

Thea flips her hair back, flashing him a pearly white grin, “I know, dear Alex. I’m a blessing to all.” 

“Go eat, baby. I’ll get the last of the boxes.” Alex gestures where Thea is already digging into the freshly made cream cheese. 

“Thank you.” You turn, and Alex gives you a smack on your ass, making you gasp. He shrugs as if saying he can’t help himself. 

Two hours later, your stomach is full, and the apartment is empty. Alex did the honor of loading up the last few boxes into the back of his truck. You take one last look at your apartment, and it feels bittersweet to say goodbye because this was the first place you ever called home. It’s where Thea shared that she was Bisexual, and it was the scariest moment for her, but you cried with her telling her you loved her. It’s where you had your first heartbreak and the home where you got to foster baby kittens. So many beautiful stories were created in these four walls, and now you’re leaving to create new ones with Alex. 

You were ready for the next chapter. 

Alex kissed you quickly, promising he’d be downstairs waiting for you. You told him you didn’t need extra time to say goodbye, but he said to humor him and take five minutes before joining him downstairs. You rolled your eyes but didn’t fight him. 

Instead used the time to take a final walk-through, not wanting to forget anything. Your bedroom is something you’re going to miss the most. It has a lake view; every sunset is beautiful to watch here. Alex suggested moving into your apartment, but you wanted to find a place you could build together. You were walking out of the bedroom when you heard a knock on the open door. You frown because all your neighbors knew you were leaving, little Suzy across the door cried because she wouldn’t see you every morning anymore, but you promised to come to babysit her whenever her mother needed a hand. 

“Sorry to bother but I heard the apartment was clearing out today and was wondering if I could check it out,” the voice asked.

You walk down the hallway and smile, “you’re free to, but you’ll still have to put in an application with Abi down in the leasing office.” 

The man takes a step inside, and you both get a good look at each other. You bite back a gasp, but the man doesn’t hide his shock. 

“Y/N,” he breathes out.

You offer him a small smile, “that’s me.” 

“It’s uh, Harry.” 

The Harry you knew was handsome, dressed to the nines on every occasion, and always had sun-kissed skin. The Harry in front of you was pale, had purple eye bags, and looked lanky like any harsh wind could knock him over. 

“I–uh, I didn’t remember you lived here or anything,” he tries to defend, and he looks so scared that you won’t believe him, but you do.

“You’re fine, Harry. It’s been a long time.” 

“Three years,” he mutters, but you hear him. 

“Are you looking for an apartment?” 

“You remember Mitch, quiet long hair?” Harry explains Mitch to a t. 

“Mhm,” you hum because you did know Mitch by some odd chance. You saw him at a coffee shop a few months after your breakup with Harry, and you were with your brother-in-law’s sister, who was visiting town, and you thought to introduce them. Sarah and Mitch ended up clicking thanks to you and knew he had his heart set on proposing soon. 

“Well, he and his girlfriend Sarah have been talking about moving in together and wanted me to check out this listing we saw opening up,” he tells you.

“Has he proposed then?”

“In a week or so.” Harry frowns. “How’d you know?”

You smile, “Sarah’s my sister-in-law. Her brother married my sister. We’re good friends.”

“Oh,” he lets that sink in.

“She mentioned wanting to be engaged before moving in together.” 

“So you and Mitch…are friends?” A look of betrayal sits on his face, and you know Mitch is in for an angry Harry later. 

You shrug, “I guess. Don’t hang out too often, but nice to chat with.” 

Harry nods, taking in this new information.  

“You’re free to look around,” you tell him.

“Is the bedroom view still amazing?” 

Your eyes widen in surprise, knowing he caught the moment because his smile grows. “Still as breathtaking as ever.”

He hums. “How have you been?” He asks.

“Really good, moving out, obviously.”

“Outgrew this place?” 

You shrug, “something like that.” 

Harry was going to ask you another question when a tall, handsome male walked in with something in his hand. “Sugar, I forgot to leave you my key.” Harry frowns. This man can’t be talking to you, can he? 

“Alex, I had forgotten all about it?” 

You accept the key he placed in your hand, smiling when he leans in to press a kiss to your cheek. You turn back to Harry, your eyes sparkling full of love. 

“Harry, this is Alex, my boyfriend. Alex, this is Harry,” you hesitate, “an old friend.”

Alex slides his hand around your waist, looping his index finger tight on your belt loop, and you know he realizes who exactly is standing in front of him. He extends his hand out for Harry to shake, who accepts it without a second thought.

“Nice to meet you.” 

“You too,” Harry replies courteously.

“He happened to stop by as I was about to head down. Harry heard about the vacant apartment through the grapevine.” 

“What do you think?” Alex asked, wanting to remain polite.

“It’s lovely,” Harry offers, not adding anything more. You know he’s biting back from saying more, and in this moment, you’re grateful. 

“Yeah, I tried to convince her I could just move in, but she insisted on finding a place together. Never could tell her no.”

“And I’ve tried. It’s the reason we went skydiving.” 

Alex laughs, “at six months together, I was so far gone that if you asked me to sell my soul for eternal life with you, I would have.” 

Harry frowns, looking at the two of you and how perfect and loving you seem to be. “How long have you been together?”

“Two years,” you answer with a proud grin.

“That’s amazing.” Not a hint of happiness when he said it. 

“Listen, we’ve got to head out, but it was wonderful meeting you, Harry.” Alex begins, and you know it’s true having to meet with the movers at the new house. 

“No, of course. Thanks for letting me see inside.” Harry offers awkwardly.

Harry sees as Alex intertwines your hands together, seeing you shine as he presses kiss after kiss to your cheek. He had never seen you this happy. 

He walks out of the apartment first, then you and Alex follow. He goes towards the stairs while you use the elevator. 

“Harry?” You call out before stepping into the elevator.

“Yeah,” he sounds hopeful.

“Take care of yourself.” 

He sighs, nodding, “you too.” 

Harry watches the elevator door close, and he knows he will never see you again. You’re happy and in love, and it’s all he wants for you. It took him months after you broke up with him to understand how awful his friends were laughing at his heartbreak, offering themselves to him in trying to forget you, but he never accepted. He thought of different ways to get you back, but Mitch always said it started with giving you time, and now he’s lost you forever. Honestly, Harry wasn’t doing good. He hated the people he called friends, so it led him to have no one. 

He was sinking deeper and deeper into a sadness he knew he would never recover from, but it filled him with a piece of peace, knowing you’d be happy and loved. 

Maybe knowing you were happy without him would be the start to a new and better life, but he somehow still doubted that. 

What do you do when you feel like you’re drowning? 

You keep kicking until you reach the surface, and that is what Harry will do, even if it takes him the rest of his life to find the surface again. 

//

thank you so much for reading!