#I project everything anyway....uh...more or less

[gonzodangerfeels]

Guy wanted to waste a half hour in court trying to explain his positive cocaine test was only because he had been fucking a crackhead all weekend, and certainly not because he had been smoking crack with her. Oh no. No sir, not him.

[colorstormx]

I know I haven't really talked about my sticky note project that much here, but. by god. at the end of the year, when it's finally finished... I'm gonna be fucking insufferable for a bit most likely

(for the uninitiated: I've got a project going where the premise is pretty much just "I draw my fursona on a sticky note, once a day every day for a year." 3"x3" square, any tools and mediums are fair game as long as the note remains flat enough to go in the storage book.

which, for that matter, I need to finish getting the supplies together to make my storage book instead of just leaving them stuck inside a sketchbook for eternity... I've already got the cardstock and a design down, I just need to order acetate sheets, chipboard for the covers, and more double sided tape. as it goes, I guess.)

anyway my main point here is that there is A Lot of Storm content waiting in the wings and I'm gonna be ready to yell about it. still trying to decide how I'm gonna release that many images though - I've got half a mind to do them day by day and just let them run through next year, and just have the option to see them all at once be some sort of kofi support bonus or something. (which would require me to get my kofi off the ground. I really should figure out how to set it up already.) I'm open to other suggestions on how to present them though, depending on what people want to see

[vixstarria]

Mark me as yours

This takes place immediately after and is interlinked with 'Missionary with the lights off' but from Astarion's rather than Tav's POV - check it out if you haven't already, the fics complement each other.

Soft sassy Astarion, F!Tav, Gale, minor appearances by other origin characters, Astarion POV

Fluff, humour, banter, pining, non-explicit sexual references

A day in camp in the life of Astarion. Features brooding, sewing, doing laundry, being dramatic, engaging in improper use of archmage of Waterdeep, reading erotica, and more!

Approx. 2,000 words

AO3

You frowned at the stuffed bear you held in your hands, weighing up your desire to showcase your skills against the absurdity of the task at hand.  

The whole thing was coming apart and needed to be washed and restuffed if you were to do this properly. What was inside, anyway? Fur..? You supposed you could go hunt something furry. Or maybe save yourself the time and just give Scratch a quick partial shave, he wouldn’t mind – the mutt lying at your feet was stupid enough to like you. To prefer you over anyone else, in fact.  

You reached down to give him a fond, absentminded pet.  

And then there was the matter of not letting it burn to a crisp the moment Karlach touched it. 

“Is there a flame ward enchantment on this..? Can you reapply it?” you asked Gale, who was nearby at his usual spot by the fire, concocting something edible for the rest of your group. 

“There is and I sure can,” he replied.  

Great. You had gotten yourself into a group project with the wizard to rescue a teddy bear.  

“Don’t tell me this is what Wyll was so concerned about earlier...” Tav had finally made it out of your tent and sat down next to you, looking somewhat less disheveled than how you’d left her.  

“The bag of holding finally tore. Naturally I was the only one competent enough to fix it.” 

You gestured with your thumb towards a towering pile of assorted crap that Wyll and Lae’zel were still sifting through: Lae’zel inspecting and setting aside any weapons and armour she deemed worth keeping, and Wyll sorting through an array of scrolls and potions no one was ever going to use, or would forget were in your possession if the need for them ever did arise.  

“Darling, this is your fault, you know,” you added. “Must you pick up everything?” 

“Karlach made me do it. Also I don’t know what you’re talking about, I am prudence and sensibility personified,” she said. 

“You’re uh... You’re also bleeding,” Gale said, pointing at her neck. 

A trail of blood had started running down from the puncture wounds, which must have reopened.  

Shit. 

Before you could reason yourself out of it, your instincts kicked in and you pressed your mouth against her neck, licking the blood off. By the gods, she actually leaned into you as you did that, not away. You glimpsed a guilty, sheepish smile she threw at Gale, as you pulled away.  

“Idiot... Here, apply pressure, I’ll get the amulet,” you said. 

“I’m the idiot?! You’re the one who ran off to resolve a sewing emergency, like a good little seamstress, before sorting me out!” 

You strode over to your tent, in part to grab the amulet of Silvanus, in part to discreetly tuck away the erection that had immediately started developing as soon as you tasted her blood.  

Hells, am I 239 or 15? you thought, annoyed with yourself.  

“An amulet? I was wondering why you’d stopped visiting me in the mornings...” you heard from Shadowheart. 

“We have a system,” Tav replied.  

“Clearly,” laughed Shadowheart. 

A scene from the night sprung up in your mind as you went about your day: 

She’d fallen asleep on your shoulder, half lying on you, her nose buried in your neck.  

It was... nice. Really nice. And you didn’t think this bizarre scenario would ever happen again.  

And yet, pleasant as it was, she still felt too far. You needed to feel her closer. Perhaps you were being greedy, but after all these years, why should you get anything less than exactly what you wanted? 

Carefully, very carefully lest she stir awake and leave, you rolled over onto your side, holding her against you.

She was still asleep. Good...   

You cautiously slipped lower and lower until your head was at her chest, delicately wrapping your arms around her torso. 

Then she stirred.  

Shit. 

Without waking, she sighed, drawing you into a tight embrace, clutching you against her chest, complete with throwing a leg over your hips to pull you even closer. 

You finally relaxed, your arms wrapped around her waist. 

Perfect... 

She felt so warm... She smelled of comfort. 

You could indulge in this for the night. You would wake up before she did anyway.  

You drifted away, lulled by the beating of her heart. 

You didn’t have any nightmares that night.  

“Is your boyfriend coming?” you heard Karlach somewhere in the distance.  

You cringed at the juvenile term. Still, you were curious how she would answer.  

“He’s on laundry duty,” she responded. “Just us gals today.” 

“So your idea of doing washing is to pawn everything off to me,” said Gale. 

“Vampires and running water, remember,” you said. “Also you don’t look like you’re exerting an awfully large amount of effort yourself... Although I must admit, this is ingenious.” A little flattery wouldn’t hurt.

Gale sat at a riverbank at a deeper section of the river. Some sheets and clothing were being tossed and spun in a small bubbling whirlpool within the water, together with foaming slivers of soap. 

“Surely few archmages possess such finesse and creativity?” you continued. 

Gale sighed and motioned for you to throw your bundle in as well, expanding the whirlpool.  

“Just toss your shirt in too, it's splattered with blood,” Gale added wearily.  

Her scent lingered on it. The last thing you wanted was to wash it off.

You pulled the shirt over your head and hurled it into the whirlpool.  

“Not Tav’s creative nailwork, I presume..?” Gale asked with a wince, looking at your back.  

“Nope” was all you said, as you pulled a book out from your pocket, making yourself comfortable on the bank. To his credit, the wizard did not probe further. 

‘Mark me as yours’ 

Those words had been echoing in your mind over and over all day.  

It couldn’t have meant anything.  

A little expression of some vampire fetishism finally poking through – you shouldn’t have expected any different from her, she did offer you her blood consistently, not even asking for anything in return.  

Still, you’d felt like something inside you might burst from your desire and thrill when you heard those words.   

And then everything that followed after... 

You had actually lost yourself for a short while. Not dissociated and detached. Lost yourself. In bliss. In the scent of her skin, in the sounds of her need for you, in the sensation of her blood merging with yours and flowing through your veins. 

And now she was walking around somewhere, with telltale bitemarks on her neck for all the world to see. Scandalous... 

No, it couldn’t have meant anything.  

‘Mark me as yours’ 

Still... What a pleasant little fantasy... 

‘Yours’ 

“You’ve been smiling at that page for ten minutes straight now,” Gale’s voice snapped you out of your musings.  

“It’s my favourite page,” you retorted. 

“What’s it about?” he asked snidely after a short pause.  

“I have no idea,” you confessed, begrudgingly, snapping the book shut. If the wizard knew what was best for him, he would abstain from any further comments.  

“She’s quite fond of you,” Gale said sombrely after another pause.  

“Is this about to turn into one of those ‘You break her heart – I'll break your face’ talks?” you scoffed, rolling your eyes. 

“Oh gods no,” Gale laughed. "No, I would go straight to incineration... You just strike me as the type that needs to have the obvious spelled out for them.” 

“I am not entering this type of discourse with someone who’s presently washing my spend off my bed sheets,” you said, laying back and shutting your eyes, to bask in the sun. No answer followed. 

Not even a minute had passed when a shadow fell over you.  

Odd, you thought. There hadn’t been a single cloud in the sky. 

You opened your eyes to see a giant water bubble hovering a few meters above you. Was that... a bedsheet floating in the middle..? 

Worth it, you thought just as the undulating bubble spilt and crashed over you.  

You coughed and spat, trying to untangle yourself from the sheet, as the unleashed torrent nearly swept you off the bank. And yet, above all else, you found yourself curious. 

The water had no longer been running as part of the river, true, but given its sheer volume and the velocity at which it hit you, it should have hurt more than merely your pride.  

You made it to the edge of the bank, and cautiously dipped a finger in.

Nothing...

You proceeded to submerge your hand, then your entire forearm, to your elbow. 

Nothing.  

Of all things... Why this? Why not your reflection? Why not the blood craving? Oh well. Beggars, choosers... 

You were laughing.  

“This tadpole,” you turned and shouted at Gale, unabashedly stripping yourself of your pants, as Gale turned away, muttering something about going blind, “is the best thing that’s happened to me in centuries!” 

The best? Maybe second best? It had some tight competition, but you supposed nothing would have been possible without it, so it reigned supreme. 

You leaped into the river, diving and letting the gentle current carry you downstream for a while.  

You knew what you would be doing later that evening with her.  

“What have you got there?”  

She slid onto your lap like a cat that refused to take ‘no’ for an answer as it sought attention. You had been idling away your time by your tent, with some pulp you had picked up earlier. The rest of the group had been drinking and roasting something at the campfire.  

“Trash. Disappointingly boring trash, this time,” you answered. 

“No pulsating flesh tunnels in this one?” 

“Alas... There were not one but two mentions of ‘velvet-wrapped steel’ however, and plenty of ‘sword-sheathing’.” 

“To the hilt?” 

“Is there any other way?” 

“Wouldn’t want to sheathe it only partially, I suppose...” she mused. “Come join us. We found some half-decent wine. And you don’t have to be alone all the time, you know.” 

“Spare me, I’ve had enough of Gale’s lectures and Wyll’s tales for the day. And besides, ugh, all those chewing noises!” You made a gagging sound. 

None of them want me there. 

“Oh don’t be such a delicate princess,” she rolled her eyes. “How’s this: it’s our joint meal time. It would be rude and completely unfair to exclude anyone. You should sit down with everyone, bite down on my wrist and make a great deal of slurping.” 

“You can’t be serious.” 

Delightful. Simply delightful. 

“It will be funny!” 

“I fear you might be the only one laughing, darling.” 

That is hilarious, I can just imagine Gale squealing or getting sick. 

“Is there anyone else you’d care to make laugh?” she asked with a slight upturn of her lips. 

Not in the least. 

“I could die again knowing I have accomplished something if I ever make Lae’zel laugh. But perish the thought – I am perfectly happy right here with my literature.” 

“Well, if you don’t want to join the group, perhaps I will stay and you can...” She snatched the book from your hands and tossed it aside, leaning in and bringing her lips up to your ear. “...Release your kraken in my field of rose petals,” she purred in a sultry voice. 

“Stop,” you choked back a snicker.  

“Get tangled up in my beef curtains?” she continued with the same tone. 

“You’re disgusting.” 

“Sink your meat shaft in my cream tart!” she persevered.  

“By the gods, woman, I am never having sex with your again.” 

“Suckle the nectar from my weeping core!” 

“Alright, fine, I’ll go, anything is better than this.” You got up, pushing her off your lap. 

“Taste my forbidden, oozing fruit, Astarion!” she cried out from the ground behind you as you covered your ears and shouted “LALALALA”, making your way towards the campfire. 

You would endure the prattle of your companions.  

Then you would take her for a moonlit swim in the river.  

Then you would see if she might spend the whole night in your arms again.  

Perhaps she could sleep in your shirt and leave her scent on it again – it was foolish to sleep completely in the nude out in the wild after all, what if there were intruders? 

Everything was going according to plan, you reminded yourself.  

~~~~~

Next in series - Down by the river

Series master list

AO3

Tags: @littleenglishfangirl @something-pithy @darlingxdragon @tallymonster @tragedybunny

Also @spacebarbarianweird - you haven't asked for a tag but sounded interested

[t0ast-ghost]

Star Trek II: Wrath Of Khan thoughts:

For this post if I could simply embed the entire movie and just write the word, ‘queer’ I would. Unfortunately you are all stuck with this, happy pride month!

Spoilers for the entire movie will be featured in this post

Going forth:

- I know what the kobayashi maru is so I know they’re not in danger but that’s some good acting Bones

- “‘Physician heal thyself.’” “Is that all you’ve got to say? What about my performance?” “I’m not a drama critic.” Thinking about this pose thinking about this pose thinking about thi-

- “Galloping around the cosmos is a game for the young, Doctor.” He’s feeling something and projecting

- “Aren’t you dead?” That’s certainly a way to greet your husband

- They’re so cute. And sad. And cute.

- tiny guys hehe. The boots got sluttier somehow

- McCoy got him glasses cause he can’t read the book without it and bring up that post that’s saying how Spock and McCoy’s gifts go together but McCoy got the logical thing and Spock got the emotional one

- Don’t quote me on this but the things I would do to that man… I wouldn’t.. but holy shit that outfit is killing me.

- hi checkov

- Carol Marcus? Doesn’t she have Kirk’s-? okay then I won’t spoil that just yet

- Creature in a jar moving under the sand

- BOTANY BAY????? Oh wait a sec I should’ve seen that coming it’s called wrath of khan

- Did they kill Chekov?

- hello Khan. That’s a very long and dramatic reveal he’s kinda hot tho

- Thinking about genetic engineering and augmentation and how they’re illegal but star trek presents cases where people now exist and it’s not the fault of the person that they are what they are so they have to question if an entire person should be illegal because of the actions of others… anyway I don’t wanna get deep into this right now, back to the movie

- Are they going to kill Chekov? (edit: not sure why I’m so fixated on thinking they’re gonna)

- WOW THAT IS CERTAINLY A SWEAT DROP

- brain worms… this sounds recently familiar

- HES READING HIS BOOK WITH THE GLASSES THEY DIDNT NEED TO SHOW HIM DOING THAT BUT THEY DID AND ITS ADORABLE OMG

- The conversation between Savik and Spock is so precious. And it’s in Vulcan. And she says “He’s more human than I expected” and it’s like that’s her commenting on Spock’s husband

- Kirk does not want to do this inspection

- McCoy does a little bounce

- “For everything there is a first time. Wouldn’t you agree, admiral” “mmhhmm” “Would you like a tranquilizer?” *Kirk shakes his head*

- I think this one has a more solid plot. I’m enjoying so far :)

- Does McCoy serve on this ship or is he just following along?

- (Had to stop watching around here because I left for the weekend so these thoughts are potentially a bit different)

- wowah! Cool ship!

- uh oh. Chekov on the monitor with the brain worm!

- khan is kinda- yeahh

- I LOVE SAAVIK! RAHHH! Also apparently Saavik is canonically half Vulcan half Romulan according to the trivia

- I like how Bones is just there :)

- Putting Spock in black… they knew what they were doing

- They’re husbands your honour. Spock knows Kirk wants to take command and isn’t to proud to get in the way of making his wife happy

- “You are my superior officer. You are also my friend. I have been and always shall be yours.” Kissing would have been less romantic

- George Takei’s voice is majestic

- “He tasks me. He tasks me and I shall have him. I’ll chase him round the moons of Nibia and round the Antares maelstrom and round perdition’s flames before I give him up.” Not obsessive at all.. nope this is something completely and totally normal to say about your nemesis

- “Uhura, have Doctor McCoy join us (Kirk and Spock) in my quarters.” Hmmmmm.. gotta inform the whole polycule about the shady government experiment

- lmao BOTH Spock and McCoy know who Carol Marcus is

- oh so terraforming… NEVERMIND REALLY FAST TERRAFORMING

- “Really, Dr. McCoy, you must learn to govern your passions. They will be your undoing.” Flirting, gentlemen?

- How and why does Starfleet continually put Spock and McCoy together? Like this alert would be sent out 24/7

- Spock and his awesome daughter Saavik

- falling

- Kirk with the breast flap down

- such a good moment… such a great moment (sorry for shitty photos)

- Kirk has to put on his little glasses <3

- Kirk does NOT fuck around

- Poor Scotty. He’s got so much emotion about his dead crew mate and the doctor apologizing to him 🥺🥺🥺

- Saavik making up rules to make sure the admiral is safe. Love her.

- “Jim, be careful.” “We will.” MCCOY IS SO BITTER. Like ‘no wishes of luck for me, Spock? Fuck you!’

- The collar on that uniform is silly

- hehe McCoy got scared by a rat. OH HE ALSO GOT SCARED BY A DEAD BODY

- Kirk’s little disappointed “oh my god” as he finds Chekov in the cupboard

- “Suppose they went nowhere.” “Then this’ll be your big chance to get away from it all.” McCoy’s not leaving Kirk, but he still looks like he wants to strangle him sometimes

- Kirk not afraid to punch a bitch

- WAIT THATS KIRKS SON?!? Isn’t it?? I thought David was Carol’s brother. But nope!

- aww dammnit I knew they were still mind controlled :/

- Saavik saving David. Y’know it would be pretty cool if there was something about Saavik, David, and Johanna meeting and maybe serving on a ship of their own.. idk just thoughts.

- ewwww brain worm.

- OH THE ECHOING “KHANNN”

- mmmm Kirk without the jacket. The white turtleneck with sleeves… also McCoy and Saavik are slaying with their turquoise and orange turtlenecks

- “Food the first order of survival.” I bet the fanfic writers had a field day with this one (cause cause it’s a reference to Tarsus IV)

- Imagine this: you’re stuck underground with your husband, your other husbands adopted daughter, your ex, her son (who’s also your son), and your old Russian navigator who’s unconscious and tried to kill you while being mind controlled by a worm which came out of his ear

- David’s got Kirk’s curls <333

- Kirk has a thing for people who look good in blue. Change my damn mind.

- “I don’t believe in a no win scenario.” He immediately calls Spock afterwards cause he’ll never lose with his husbands around

- “You lied.” “I exaggerated.” Yep, he IS that bitch

- Saavik is learning so much from them

- They still just.. let anyone onto the bridge. Like David is just there now

- oh no Scotty! Well McCoy was miraculously there to catch him

- CHEKOV BACK ON THE BRIDGE!

- Once again. Kirk does not fuck around! He just killed those guys

- “To the last I will grapple with thee.” WOW. Okay. Well.

- Khan’s about to terraform this bitch

- McCoy stopping Spock from going into the chamber..

- “You’re not going in there!” “Perhaps you’re right. What is Mr. Scott’s condition?” SIKE BITCH SPOCK JUST FUCKING NERVE PINCHED HIM. McCoy you should’ve been tipped off by the fact he 1. Said you were right and 2. Gave up trying to self sacrifice so easily

- wait why’d Spock connect to McCoy’s psi points and say remember? Remember what?

- I like there’s just a sign that flashes the word ‘radiation’ in red letters

- McCoy and Scotty BEGGING Spock not to do this. Break my fucking heart why don’t you?

- Kirk’s little run to the engine room <3

- I know he’s dying but those boots are so slutty

- Solely watching Kirk’s face is already like watching 10 puppies get killed

- “Don’t grieve, admiral.” Has me crying already. Your closest and longest friend is watching your slow descent into death and you ask him not to grieve you. You want him to know your death meant something. It meant he’d be safe and that is nothing to grieve. I’m going to be sick

- don’t touch me I’m thinking about this

- SAAVIK IS CRYING OMG GIRL ME TOO

- Kirk’s voice breaking.. god. Shatter my fucking heart why don’t you?

- if they play bagpipes at my funeral I’m rising from the dead (violins would be nice though)

- NOO HIS CUTE LITTLE GLASSES BROKE

- “They’re just words.” “But good words. That’s where ideas begin. Maybe you should listen to them.” POP OFF DAVID ! Good line

- SON REVEAL! NOT CLICKBAIT

- There’s 8 minutes left of this. Did they leave this one with Spock dead?

- “He’s really not dead, as long as we remember him.” Good words McCoy. But perhaps maybe you might have some.. assistance remembering him?

- got distracted and drew Kirk but I love the last little Spock narration. Really brave to end a WHOLE MOVIE with one of the best most well known characters being dead

Well that movie did have its pros and… khans

…

See you next time

Masterpost

[eliotlime]

End of September Update

Just as a heads up, I'll be closing my commissions after the first week of October (06/10/2024) just so I can focus on other projects! If you'd like to order a bug from me or get any of my other regular commissions now's a good time to do so!

(Bugstyle | Regular Comms)

I made a really brief post on twitter about what I'm up to but since tumblr supports more text I'll just go into more depth on what projects I'm working on at the moment and general life updates!

I used to write blog posts on wordpress for school and it's just hilarious that I stopped doing that considering it feels like I was born to blog!

In general, I've been trying to crawl out of this very odd mood swing-y state I've been in for the past year. I've been semi-public about it but I graduated with a degree in animation same time last year and have sort of been recovering from the absolute burn out of that as well as watching the animation industry essentially collapse just as I left college.

I'm hoping to get into UI/UX design this coming October and try to piece what little control I have of my life back together. I don't really know what I'm doing to be honest and it feels like I'm just pawing in the dark with a lot of this stuff.

In lighter news I've been trying to get into something I've always wanted to for years which is comics! I'm not sure how much I can speak about it at the moment but I just got into an anthology which is very exciting.

I applied to shortbox last year but didn't get in :( but fingers crossed I'll get in next year! On a related note I've made a Cara profile which I'm using as a comics portfolio and archive.

--

Those of you who've been following me for years know that I've had a webcomic project called, Happenstance (which I've restarted endlessly for about 10 years at this point). While I don't really have a concrete update of that for you guys I will say that the story is more or less fixed and whatever version of it I have now is most likely the version I'll proceed with in the future.

I did try to get the ball rolling with this at the start of the year with a pilot comic but it made me so miserable to work on it I abandoned it and started making an unrelated zine instead haha

I do have plans on finishing this eventually and it'll be up on my itch.io and gumroad like everything else!

Speaking of the zine, I'd just like to thank everyone who purchased Cute Thing! I think for my first independent book project it did pretty well! It was incredibly embarrassing and nerve wrecking to promote it but I'm glad I did it.

I don't know why there's an 18+ warning on this considering this zine is pretty tame.

I guess it also helped that that stupid ass diary comic i made blew up at the same time so I got to shill my wares in relation to it. Even though I think it gave me some kind of psychological damage but every time i gain minor internet fame i shrink back into my shell anyway, this is just the first time i really felt so much.. vitriol from randos lol.

It's just hilarious it overlapped with whatever guilty gear obsession I had at the time as well. Thank you to everyone who stuck around and uh.. sorry! I walk wherever the wind takes me and it's frequently towards my own characters.

But! Speaking of Guilty Gear, I am working on an Abacelsus zine I briefly talked about on twitter a couple months back. The title is sort of pending at the moment and while I did say it might be free as a digital download, I'm probably going to charge a couple of dollars because of how much effort I'm putting into this.

On the plus side that means I'll probably be putting more effort into it! I'm aiming for 24 interior pages of stuff and hoping to release a digital version of it by Halloween 2024!

I'm trying to work on more prints and stickers for conventions as well and I never posted about my convention escapades here all too much but you can check out this instagram post for what I had up the last time I boothed!

That's kind of all for the stuff I'd like to get done within this year but other projects that I'd like to aim to get done by 2025 is a continuation of my Cute Thing zine that I'm aiming to collate by Valentines Day, hehe how romantic.

There's nothing terribly concrete for that at the moment but I do know I want it to have more pages than Cute Thing. It's called My Boy and yes it's named after another Car Seat Headrest song.

I've got a lot of irons in the fire and another iron is that I'm also planning a 4-panel comic series for my band characters that I've posted some pilots about before!

Pretty messy planning but most of my long form stuff looks like this.

A 4-panel comic series is just less intimidating than a fully coloured webcomic series (Happenstance) that I know will be finished decades later. I've also seen a lot of webcomic artists I've beloved just.. abandon their years long project and it's kind of scary to me that will definitely happen to me!!!

--

The long and short of it is that I've got a lot of projects and a majority of it is not making me any money. I'm extremely lucky to be surrounded by people that support my work but it gets hard to just do all of this by yourself with no guarantee that it'll go anywhere.

Patreon's a beast I've tried to tackle but it's kind of an ass of a website to use so I'll probably try to use ko-fi a bit more. I've kind of never really liked the subscription model and really do prefer to launch curated PDFs of my work every few months, but again I'm really just clawing at the dark and grasping at anything I can.

Let's wrap up this long post by mentioning that I might want to give streaming a shot! I used to stream a little when I was a teenager but I'd like to give it another go!

I don't think I'm going to have a dedicated persona or vtuber avatar but a small little png-tuber would be frankly hilarious. Maybe something casual to start of with, it gets pretty lonely spending everyday working on images alone.

--

Thank you for reading! It's an extremely long post to all but say that I'm scared but working on projects still! If you'd like to support me, here's my ko-fi page and while I'm working on getting more stuff on there here's my itchi.io & gumroad as well.

As I mentioned before I'm closing my commissions on the 6th of October to work on my Abacelsus zine so if you'd like to get a bug or any of my regular style commissions now's a good time to do so!

(Bugstyle | Regular Comms)

I'm hoping to make more update posts like these in the future and not psyche myself out every time because they're really good for me to collect my incredibly jumbled thoughts. Thanks again to everyone who's followed, supported or even just looked at my stuff it really means the world.

If you have any questions or just generally want to talk to me about my characters, my DMs and askbox is always open! Any professional enquires can be shot towards me email as well: eliotlime@gmail.com

XOXO, Stay weird!

-Eliot :)

[vgperson]

What Did I Do In 2023?

Whatever I wanted, mostly.

----

As I mentioned last year, my site now has an RSS feed with basically everything I've done back to 2020, so this will mainly be going over the same stuff from that, just with added context.

In January, I finally sat down and properly realized an idea for a short story I'd had sitting around for a while: From the Sidelines, about a fantasy RPG expedition going sideways. I remain very proud of it in both concept and execution, and hope people read it.

In February, Your Turn To Die was released on Steam Early Access, receiving character profiles and some bonus mini-episodes, adding two more later in the year.

After finishing From the Sidelines, I carried that momentum to revisit my Ut0p1a story series about funny computer animals. I'd always meant to continue it - and conclude it - but hadn't been satisfied with the ideas I had for it until totally rethinking them this year. In March, I posted the remaining stories one after another: Right to Code and Left to Code. I'm very proud of these as well. Also in March, Kenshi Yonezu released LADY. (Video, interview)

In April, Uri released the Data Book of the Strange Men Series, a big collection of the writing she's done on the games in the series, with a lot of new parts as well, all translated by me.

Then in May... uh, well, let's see. In April, Capcom released the Mega Man Battle Network Legacy Collection. I always adored the Battle Network games, and was initially excited that they finally did the thing... but by the time it came out, I was pretty disappointed by how, while you certainly couldn't call them low-effort ports, the effort didn't extend everywhere I thought it should, with the biggest offenders being the total absence of any "convenience features" except Buster Max Mode, the bad font, and the almost entirely untouched translations.

So, I ended up deciding I might as well just replay the originals, and that was a fun time (aside from the parts that were bad). Doing this, I couldn't help but notice how... turbulent the translations were, even if I'd always known they were less than ideal. I mean, the first two games just used periods for ellipses despite the tight character limits, then in BN3 they had an ellipsis character... but it's center-aligned, Japanese-style? Aside from the intro, which has normal ones? Gosh, somebody should fix that - it's simple enough to find and edit in YY-CHR. "JapanMan" is silly, too - I wonder if anybody made a patch for that? Wait, what do you mean there's just a tool to extract and insert text in all the Battle Network games including the Legacy Collection???

Thus began a journey that sort of occupied the rest of my year. First I did the BN3 Translation Revision, trying not to worry too much about cross-referencing the Japanese text unless something seemed wrong, so that I didn't spend too long on the project. Then I began to consider BN2, with its unfortunate "foreigner" text that would need some more significant reworking. I established more convenient tools for comparing with the Japanese script, and thus did a much more thorough job with it, releasing the BN2 Translation Revision in June (AKA Princess Pride Month).

Finally, after giving myself time to recover and actually finish replaying the series, I knew what I had to do to close things out. With the BN4 Translation Revision, you can finally play Battle Network 4 with a translation that isn't such a mess. Whether you'd want to is for you to decide, though if you can get over the structure, I don't think it's the worst game in the series by any means. (Oh, and in December I also updated the BN3 Revision to 1.1, doing a thorough pass with the methods I'd honed. But I think I'm pretty much good on MMBN translations now.)

Anyway, backtracking to other things that happened during my Battle Network haze... June had Kenshi Yonezu's Moongazing (video, interview), and July had Globe (video, interview, interview).

Last but not least, released in November, I translated Refind Self: The Personality Test Game, a short game from Lizardry (creator of 7 Days to End with You) with a fun concept.

----

Obviously I was right to have said "no promises" last year. But really, Your Turn To Die should get its final part on Steam sometime next year, maybe even early-ish in it. That's certainly the goal.

I'm also hoping to buckle down and finish one of my own games, but as usual, who knows how that'll pan out. Letting my whims carry me this year let me finally finish From the Sidelines and Ut0p1a, which was great, and it also led me down a Battle Network rabbit hole, which was... fine, but definitely for a narrower audience. I'd always like to get back to more free game translations and the like, too, but it takes effort to find things I'd want to translate. For now, I think my increasing desire to be able to let loose some of these original games I've been planning, and the stories in them, might come out on top.

[zeroeightzeroone]

in this lifetime and the next - seo changbin

genre: angst? hurt/comfort? idk two exes are talking about their past relationship

pairing: ex-boyfriend, non-idol!seo changbin x ex-girlfriend!femreader

notes: if this looks familiar, my secondary blog 'zerothreetwentyfive ' was deleted by tumblr (idk why) so i'm republishing everything here on my main blog.

wc ~2.5k | moodboard

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:

"how…" he clears his throat, "how have you been?"

his eyes are fixed on the night sky. even with the knowledge that he isn't looking in your direction, you still shrug before replying, "i've been… okay."

if someone told you three years ago you'd be lying under the millions of stars sparkling up within the dark night sky, next to your ex-boyfriend, you would've been convinced that person was out of their mind. especially, if that person told you that throughout the trip you would find yourselves alone together coincidentally, eventually finding yourselves sober and in the comfort of your ex-partner laid next to you. a cool breeze drifting by once in a while and everyone else who came onto the trip were either drunk or passed out inside the cottage. 

you really would've called an intervention. convinced that they were far too delusional for their own good.

then again, you from three years ago would have never believed there'd come a day when your boyfriend would become your ex. where he would become someone of your past. you from three years ago could not even fathom, nor entertain the possibility of being away from the man, of living without the man. the man you loved more than anything or anyone. a statement that holds true to this day.

truthfully, you believed that he would be the one you would love and be loved by for eternity. believing that you waited your whole life, for everything in the universe to align, paving the path to meet the man you were fated for, the man you would call the one:

seo changbin.

"work's been good? school? life?" changbin's voice is quite soft and his tone is a bit awkward. 

he's tiptoeing around his words, trying to figure out how you feel about him. weighing out what you could and couldn't speak about or if you should be speaking at all. the thought of overstepping and potentially making you uncomfortable sits in the back of his mind.

"they've been… more or less the same," you answer.

it's different without you, you think to yourself. 

his absence was something you could never get used to after the breakup. three years later and that sense of emptiness looms over your head.  

"i got promoted last year," you add.

"oh really? that's great to hear!" changbin's tone is excited but at the same time it's uneasy.

of course, he's excited, and he's proud of you but he still doesn't know how you feel about him right now. what if he makes you uncomfortable with too much excitement? or a lack of excitement? changbin's treading lightly.

"… uh… sorry–"

"—how about you? how have you been?" you're quick to cut him off. 

if you didn't, changbin would go on rambling and apologizing; something you picked up on very early into your relationship. the man lying next to you apologizes for everything, regardless of if he is at fault or not. even if there is no fault, he finds himself apologizing anyway.

"last i remember you were working a big project."

changbin blinks, taken aback by the sudden interruption but he composes himself quickly, "o-oh! i've been doing good as well. happy that it's done."

"how'd it go?" you wonder.

"it was... definitely a lot more than we expected to take on. the clients decided they wanted to expand more on their vision. change up a lot of pre-made plans."

"ah, i see... i can't tell if that's good or bad?"

"i'd say it's both," you can hear the slight smile in his tone, "a lot of work done being scrapped which, y'know, isn't exactly ideal. but they agreed to pay us more which is good. i'd say we were rewarded adequately for the work we put in."

you hum, "well, then, i'm happy for you."

silence looms in the air between the two of you. neither of you knows what to say to the other, how to continue a conversation. 

the both of you stare up at the stars overhead; most of which you aren't able to see on a daily due to the light pollution in the city. while there is a silence that has fallen between you two, it's not an uncomfortable one. neither of you are itching to escape an awkward atmosphere, to escape being around your ex. instead you find yourselves in a comfortable space in the presence of the one lying next to you.

basking in a presence neither of you has had the opportunity to be comforted by, let alone be around, in the past three years.

you find yourself instinctively fiddling with the ends of your hoodie sleeves, pulling them over your hands and hiding them inside. beside you, changbin adjusts his arm to rest behind his head while the other one rests on his stomach.

"y'know what this reminds me of?" he says suddenly, in a hushed tone, "reminds me of our two-year anniversary."

tearing your eyes off the sky, you turn your head to changbin's direction. 

you let your eyes linger on him for a moment. entranced by how the stars and the moon illuminate his features in such a soft and gentle manner. it's been three years since you've been this physically close to changbin, let alone seen the man, you can't help but analyze his features like it's the first time. looking over the features you fell in love with way back when.

changbin looks just as amazing as ever, maybe even more attractive. he still sports those soft, dark curls in his shaggy hair that falls right under his eyes. he's more buff in comparison to when you last saw him three years ago.

the longer you let your eyes look over him, the more you're taken back, that sense of nostalgia washing over you. he's right, this moment is reminiscent of your two-year anniversary. 

you remember the months leading up to that day as if it were yesterday.

you remember repeatedly asking your boyfriend how you two should celebrate the milestone that was coming just around the corner. in response, he would always say he would be the one to take care of everything and that all you needed to do was sit back and relax. 

the boy was clad in light blue denim jeans, a navy varsity-styled jacket with a white shirt underneath, his hair tousled as it fell in front of his black-rimmed glasses when he knocked at your door. greeting your family before whisking you away for a night you will never forget.

changbin quite literally drove you off into the sunset, one hand gripping the wheel whilst his other held your hand in his. the both of you belting out to the playlist you created together, one that grew as each day passed. 

by the time you arrived at your destination, the sun had set behind the skyline as the dark sky loomed over the city. you remember the way your jaw slacked in awe at the breathtaking sight of all the stars. 

"i've never been this close to the stars! they're so much closer from up here!" 

you stood there gaping at the stars for what felt like eternity, while changbin stood beside you, his eyes full of affection as he stared at you. oh, his eyes. you would think he captured the stars in his eyes with the way they sparkled at the sight of you. that night on the hill, you and changbin were laid next to each other on the hood of his car, cuddled in each other's arms as you talked about anything and everything that came into your minds.

there you were in the arms of your lover, alone together in your own starry heaven. everything seized to exist other than you and your intertwined hearts.

you and changbin, together against the world.

nothing will ever come close to that level of perfection. that ethereal moment you've etched into your brain, you'd much rather be damned than to have that moment wiped from your memory.

"yeah… it does. the sky, the stars… just... everything brings me back."

"it was definitely not as chilly that night," changbin smiles.

half of his statement refers to the weather and the other half refers to how you were huddled up next to him that night. as opposed to now, where the space between your bodies lets in a cool draft.

you chuckle and shake your head, "the weather was great, not too hot and not too cold. just perfect."

lying next to him, reminiscing on your two-year anniversary as a couple has a question popping up in your minds.

if given the chance, would you go back? would you choose each other again?

the question is nothing new. a recurring thought over the past three years. 

over the past three years, you've collected a pool of unanswered questions regarding your relationship with changbin: the how's, what's, when's and why's. how could you not wonder? nothing in the world could surpass your love for seo changbin.

three years later and you have never loved as deeply as you have for the man beside you.

you're both listening to the steady breaths of the one lying next you as both your minds run a mile a minute. allowing a brief silence to settle before changbin is the one to break the silence.

"i'm sorry."

"sorry? ...for what?"

"just… everything."

when you turn to look in changbin's direction, your eyes meet for the first time that night. god, it feels as if your heart stopped at that exact moment. the delay was so long you could have dropped dead right there.

but you lived off the way your eyes locked with changbin's. finding your breath again with each twinkle of the stars reflecting off his black-rimmed glasses. finding your pulse starting up again, this time beating out of your chest as his deep brown eyes bore into your own. breathing the life back into you.

your gazes soften, a wave of nostalgia washing over the both of you; a memory of what you once had together.

a breath of the life you shared three years ago.

you stare at each other wordlessly. soaking in a feeling of comfort neither of you has felt in three years, one you only received from the one lying next to you.

"i'm sorry too. for everything."

"it's not your fault," he shakes his head, "i fell short in the end and i wasn't the boyfriend you deserved."

you're shaking your own head, "i was a terrible girlfriend. i wouldn't have stayed with me either."

"you were–are– amazing," changbin states, "you've always been."

"that's not true. don't say that, i know i hurt you with the things i said."

somewhere along the line of your relationship with changbin, things started to go awry. your lives began to clash; school and work priorities building and creating distance between you two. it felt like your relationship was slowly slipping away, schedules ran tight and pressures ran high. 

you remember petty arguments, the back-and-forth bickering between the both of you when you were able to see each other. 

"and i hurt you. i was never there when you needed me, i promised you that you could trust me, depend on me but i broke that in the end."

"that's not your fault. i couldn't be there when you needed me either."

"and that wasn't your fault either, our schedules didn't line up anymore."

"but… i could've tried har—"

"there was only so much we could do and you tried your absolute hardest," changbin interrupts you, "time just... wasn't on our side."

you hate to admit that even without the petty, groundless arguments, the end was inevitable. 

your relationship no longer fit into the other's increasingly hectic schedule, any and all the attempts came with sacrifices with school or work, and in the end, there was no healthy way to incorporate that time for each other. all the time you did spend together was plagued by stress and high tensions, only pushing you two further apart. 

no matter how hard you tried to salvage your relationship, everything else tried even harder to ruin it.  

the anger and dejection only grew stronger as time passed. the both of you wondering why things weren't going your way no matter how hard you worked for it. you felt dejected that your efforts came without fruition. upset that the time you did have together was limited, fleeting and full of the pressures your individual lives were weighing on you. 

"can i ask something?" your voice is almost inaudible but changbin hums in response, "why did you leave when you did?"

changbin blinks slowly as he processes your words.

"i didn't want things to get worse."

"what do you mean?"

"i didn't want to end things between us on a bad note. for us to part ways hating each other."

"i could never hate you."

"maybe, but we'd grow to resent each other even if we didn't mean to. wondering if our efforts were in vain, that no matter how hard we tried the universe worked harder against us."

"did you… resent me in the end?"

"i would've rather died instead of growing to hate or resent you."

your head snaps in his direction and his to yours. your eyes wide with shock at how he said that without hesitation.

"what we had between us, i didn't want it to be overshadowed by months of arguing."

changbin has never loved anyone the way he loves you. 

early on in your relationship, changbin wholeheartedly believed you were the best thing to ever happen to him. no one cared for him, accepted him and understood him in the way you did. no one made him as happy as you did.

when he realized that your relationship became a source of stress in your increasingly hectic lives, he made the difficult decision to leave.

the people that come in and out of your life come either as a blessing or a lesson; changbin believes you are a blessing in his life.

people slip in and out of your life, fuck around and make you rethink everything. the memories of them are associated with the phrases: "i should have known better" or "you learn from your mistakes".

and he would rather be damned than to be a lesson.

he knew that with the direction both your lives were headed into at the time, the end was inevitable and if things between you two had to end then, in your out-of-control lives, he wanted the last semblance of control here.

"the thought of losing you scared me shitless," changbin continues, "but what scared me even more was that you could one day regret all of this, everything we had. that you would leave regretting ever loving me."

"… i didn't know you were thinking that way," your voice trails off at the end, thoughts still delayed as you process the words of your ex-boyfriend lying next to you.

you take a moment before you continue.

"at one point, i wasn't even mad or upset with you anymore... i was mad at the universe. the circumstances."

when you and changbin broke up, you often wondered what the universe had in store for you after such excruciating heartbreak. but the pain didn't even stop with changbin; it seemed like the universe had it against you as else in your life began to downward spiral. 

you struggled to adjust to the growing hustle and bustle of your life while also struggling to adapt without your person.

oftentimes, you imagined taking a trek up to climb the tallest mountain in the world. exerting all that blood, sweat and tears for the opportunity to let everything out into the void. you imagined standing on the highest point on earth would be as physically close as you could get to the universe. 

maybe from up there, the universe would be able to hear the desperation, the pain that came from wondering what you did to deserve this; to have loved so passionately and to have lost, to experience such excruciating pain.

if the universe didn't align for a life with changbin, you laid awake wondering what it did align for. if it would be worth it. 

what could be more worth it than him? 

with a bittersweet smile on your lips you say, "nothing aligned for us in this lifetime. maybe, in the next lifetime."

you're trying your hardest to control and suppress your emotions as your eyes gloss over, tears threatening to fall. changbin's eyes stay fixed on you as he, much like you did earlier, analyzes your features all over again as if it was the first time.

changbin pays close attention to every detail, etching it into his mind.

"whose to say that?" changbin's eyes meet your own once again, a glint present in his chocolate brown orbs, "this lifetime isn't over yet."

your eyes, still blown wide with surprise, meet changbin's. you would think he captured the stars in his eyes with the way they sparkled at the sight of you.

"in this lifetime and the next, i'll love you."

"does that mean you'll love me for eternity?"

"our love is so strong it transcends lifetimes. we'll always find our way back to each other."

main masterlist

[arecaceae175]

For Want Of Rest: Ch. 6

FAN JOY JULY!

Fic Summary: Five times Sky falls asleep somewhere that isn’t a bed plus one time they all do. Or, Sky struggles to manage his disabilities, then the chain has a conversation about accessibility and accommodations.

Fan Joy July! Each chapter is inspired a few amazing art pieces of Sleepy Sky <3. There are plenty more chapters and art inspirations to come :D

Chapter Summary: They eep. They also have a conversation about accommodations. 2.5k, fluff and hurt/comfort.

Happy July 35th everybody :/ Here it is :D. THIS IS HEADCANON GALOOOOORE hehehe. I gave everyone a Thing. Also featuring they/them wind so she/her legend isn’t lonely

Art pieces (Look at the arts before you read, it will enhance the experience hehe):

Facedown on the floor by @raycatzdraws Rest by @alis-art-stuff

I am so in love with both of these arts. Raycatzdraws is so so SO funny. Every position is hilarious and also SO in character. And alis-art-stuff's piece is a perfect fluffy companion. Looking at this art feels like a warm hug. Everyone is so comfy and happy!

Warnings: detailed descriptions of chronic pain, references to past ableism (with direct ableist quotes), subsequent internalized ableism. They discuss medical issues in this one but they don’t have many of the correct terms or understanding of health conditions, so obligatory please do not take this as medical advice :)

The last bokoblin crumbled to dust at his feet. Sky stumbled to the side, caught in the momentum of the swing of his sword.

"That's the last of them," Warriors said.

"Good fight. Any injuries?” Time asked, just as he did after every battle. No one spoke up, so he nodded in approval. “We should find somewhere nearby to rest.”

Very, very slowly, Sky lowered himself to the ground. His knees, hips, and back popped painfully, so stiff he could barely move them. Sky didn't bother holding back a grimace. Sky pushed his legs out behind him, laid his arms by his side, and collapsed face first in the grass. His entire body throbbed. Sky tried to breathe evenly through the wave of pain.

"Uh, Sky?"

"Here. Rest," Sky mumbled into the dirt. Grass got in his mouth. Removing it seemed like an insurmountable task. It wasn't like it tasted that bad, anyway.

A pause. "Anyone catch that?"

Sky groaned loudly as he turned his head to the side just enough to free his mouth. "Rest. Here." 

Hyrule frowned, glancing around from the top of the hill they were on. The grassy fields continued for miles. "Isn't this a little exposed?"

"Rest here."

Four shrugged. "We did just clear the monsters."

"See? Rest now." Sky wouldn't have been able to get up if he tried. Everything hurt and he was so tired he might cry.

"I'm so on it," Wind said. "I'm so with you." They dropped to their knees—Sky flinched, knowing how his knees would feel if he did that—then sat back on their heels. Wind's arms flopped backwards as they curled forward and shoved their face in the ground. Their forehead touched the ground, leaving their mouth free for complaining. Sky respected the commitment.

"We have been walking and fighting and walking and fighting and running all week. No more," Wind said.

Sky grunted his agreement. The heroes within his line of sigh all looked at him with a wince, eyebrows drawn together and eyes wide with concern. Sky belatedly realized his sound might have been more pitiful than he intended it to be.

"Yeah, that about does it." Legend put her last item away in her bag then flopped onto the grass next to Sky.

"You mind?" Legend asked. Sky made a noise he hoped was significantly less disturbing than before. It must have worked, because Legend laid down with her head on Sky's backside. Sky made a noise of surprise.

"What?" Legend said. "It's soft."

Any reply Sky would have made was cut off by Warriors dramatic sigh as he collapsed on the ground. His legs were bent underneath his body and he haphazardly threw his arms over his face, resulting in his scarf billowing over his head and covering his face completely.

"This is fine," Warriors said, muffled by the scarf.

Twilight laid down next to him and collected the end of Warriors' scarf to use as a pillow. Wild draped himself over Twilight's legs and dragged Hyrule down with him. Hyrule yelped in surprise but relented quickly enough. He stuck one foot into Legend's side as he got comfortable. Four laid on the grass in the most awkward position physically possible. Sky's joints throbbed in pain just looking at it. Sky couldn't see Time from his angle, but going by the loud thump, Time was now also on the ground.

Sky hummed happily and put his face back in the dirt. There was a nice little indentation right where his nose was, so he wasn't even suffocating. How convenient, he thought.

Sky's muscles were still tense from the battle adrenaline. As hard as he tried, he couldn't quite drift off to sleep. His body ached, every joint and every muscle throbbing in time with his heart. The longer he laid on his stomach, the more the fire-like pain in his back spread. He knew he would regret laying like this later, but he really, really didn’t want to move. 

"This is boring," Wind said.

The heroes burst into laughter. Sky chuckled quietly, with as much energy as he could muster.

“Let’s find shapes in the clouds!” Wild suggested. 

“Ooh! Yes! Everyone play!” Wind cheered. 

Sky sighed and tried to will his body to relax. The level of effort he was putting would have been comical—he couldn’t force himself to relax, that defeated the purpose—if he wasn’t so utterly worn down. Everything hurt and he really, really wanted to be asleep. Sharp pressure stung behind his eyes. Sky flopped an arm over them and breathed deeply, desperately trying not to cry. 

The voices of the other heroes sounded like they were underwater. Or, maybe Sky was underwater and they were above. That made more sense, he thought. He certainly felt like he was underwater, drowning as he was pulled down by invisible forces. And how could he fight an enemy he couldn’t see?

A hand touched his boot. Sky flinched, eyes flying open with a gasp. Legend was sitting up beside him; Sky hadn’t noticed the change in pressure when she moved. Legend flashed him an apologetic smile. 

“The sailor wants you to look at the clouds,” Legend said. “You’ve got about ten seconds before they drag you over there themself. Just a warning.”

“Over where?” Sky asked. His neck ached from the strain of looking sideways at Legend. 

In response, Legend tilted her head over her shoulders. The other heroes were gathered in a circle, laying on their backs with their heads together. Legend carefully pushed herself to her feet and stretched her arms above her head. Beneath her braces, her joints popped. She shook them out then went to the circle. 

Instead of taking the closest open spot, she deliberately stepped on Warriors’ chest. Her step was light enough that it wouldn’t hurt, and more than enough for Warriors to yelp and swat her away. Legend laughed as she let herself be tackled onto the ground. 

Just as Legend predicted, it was no more than ten seconds before Wind was hopping up from the circle and bounding over to Sky. They knelt next to Sky’s head with a wide smile. “Sky, come look at clouds with us!” 

Sky forced a smile even as tears gathered in his eyes. As soon as they started, he couldn’t stop. Tears flowed down his face as Sky choked on a sob, burying his face in his arms in shame. 

“Sky?” Wind’s voice was panicked. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” 

Sky sniffled and shook his head, ignoring the pinpricks of pain throughout his neck and shoulders. “No, I— I’m— it’s fine. I’m fine.”

“What’s wrong?” Wind asked again. 

“I don- I don’t know,” Sky cried. “I’m just…”

Wind’s hand landed on his back and they started rubbing comforting circles. Another sob forced its way out of Sky’s chest. 

“You should turn over,” Twilight said. Sky sniffed and looked up in surprise. Twilight was right next to him. They all were, Sky realized; the others had moved their circle over to Sky and were all trying very hard not to stare at him in concern. 

“Your back always hurts when you lay like that,” Twilight continued. 

A fresh wave of emotion forced more tears out of Sky’s eyes. “You— how?”

Twilight smiled sadly at him. “I noticed. You never said anything about it, though, so…” Twilight shrugged. 

“Here,” Wind said, voice determined. “Can I help?” 

Sky nodded and wiped his nose miserably. Wind put one hand beneath his shoulder and the other beneath his hip.

“Ready? Set, go!” 

With Wind’s added momentum, Sky turned over on the first try with minimal difficulty. As soon as he landed on his back, the pain intensified and the sound of blood rushing filled his ears. Sky’s breath hitched, then he forced himself to calm down and breathe through the pain as his joints released their tension. 

“Are you having regrets?” Legend asked in a teasing tone. Sky knew that was how she showed her concern, and the words warmed his heart. 

“Mmhmm,” Sky mumbled in reply. His voice wavered far more than he expected. 

The sharp pain receded, and Sky finally was able to take a full breath. He let his arms flop on the grass above his head. Sky let himself breathe and relax. 

“Sky?” Twilight asked, voice uncharacteristically hesitant. 

Sky’s eyes felt like sandpaper under his eyelids as he dragged them open. 

“We wanted to talk to you about… this,” Twilight continued. 

Sky’s face burned with shame. His ears pinned themselves against his head. He glanced at the other heroes, all clearly staring, then shoved his eyes closed again. 

This was it. They were going to tell him he was being too slow and he needed to be better. He needed to try harder . Somewhere in the logical part of his mind, Sky knew he was being unfair to them, but a lifetime of being told to just suck it up and do better and being far, far too slow clouded his judgment.

“I’m sorry. I can do better,” Sky said. 

“What?” Legend interjected harshly. “What are you on about?”

Sky sniffled and wiped his eyes to keep his tears at bay. He drew in a shaky breath before he continued. “I know I’ve been slow lately, but I’ll do better. We don’t have to talk about it. I’m sorry.”

“No, Sky, that’s not what’s happening here,” Warriors said quickly. “We want to help.”

Sky’s thoughts stuttered to a halt. “You… what do you mean?”

“Back in your era, after you passed out, we talked to Zelda about it. We weren’t hiding this from you, but we haven’t had a chance to bring it up since.”

“...Oh. Um…”

Wind’s hand slipped into his and squeezed. Sky squeezed back, at a loss for words. 

“That was scary,” Wind said quietly. “I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

Sky’s stomach flipped. “I’m sorry.”

Wind squeezed his hand again. “It’s not your fault! The only thing you should be sorry about is not telling us that could happen! How were we supposed to know you’d be okay?”

“Sailor,” Warriors admonished quietly. “Sky, there’s nothing wrong with needing extra help. We all do, sometimes. I… I may not have said it out loud before, but I have battlesickness. You know that, and I know any of you will help me calm down when I can’t remember where I am. Do you blame me for that?”

“Of course not!” Sky said. 

“You’ve helped me apply my scar gel before! And you always make tea when me or Twilight have cramps,” Wild said. 

“I have a blind side. I can’t see attacks,” Time said.

“My shoulder won’t grow right after a monster flung me around. I can’t move it all the way and it hurts, sometimes,” Wind said. 

“This isn’t like that,” Sky interrupted, clenching his free hand in frustration. “This isn’t from my adventure. It comes and goes with how bad it is, but I’ve always been this way.”

“You know my joints are terrible. That’s something you and I have in common,” Legend added. “The braces help, but I’m not always up for moving. You’ve never blamed me for that.”

“I’ve had migraines all my life,” Four said. “More after my adventures, just like you.”

“I have food allergies,” Hyrule said. “Those aren’t my fault and they’ve been here forever.”

“It… it doesn’t get better. I have to deal with this every day.” Sky’s voice had a hint of a whine to it, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “Everything hurts all the time. I’m so tired. I can’t even stand up without my body collapsing. It’s— it’s really, really hard,” Sky finished in a small voice. 

Wind squeezed his hand. The group was silent for a moment, only the sounds of crickets jumping through the grass. 

“Zelda told us some things she and Groose do to help,” Warriors said. “I’d like to hear what you do day to day to manage it, if you’re comfortable sharing.”

Sky blinked up at the clouds through teary eyes. “I don’t… I don’t know.”

“I always watch food being prepared, that helps my anxiety. I don’t like my face or neck being touched. When I’m panicking, breathing exercises and asking me to describe my surroundings are what help,” Warriors offered. 

After a beat, enough time for Sky to speak up if he wanted, Legend continued. “I stretch every morning and night. I have pain relief tea if I need it. Movement helps the inflammation stay down, but too much running or jumping makes things worse.”

“Oh,” Sky realized. “That’s— my knees are the same. If they stay straight or bent for too long they get hard to move.”

“There, see? Stuff like that,” Warriors encouraged. “What else do you know?”

“Um. When I passed out, that was from standing too quickly. Well, the portal makes everything feel worse, and I don’t usually fully pass out. When I sit up or stand up I have to move really slow or I feel bad for a while. I lean or sit as often as I can. I sleep as much as I can, but I’m still tired all the time, no matter how much I rest. Is that— is that okay?”

“You’re doing great, Sky. That’s exactly what we mean,” Twilight said. 

“Zelda mentioned the exhaustion too,” Warriors said. “She said stamina fruit helps…”

The Links stayed on the hill, resting and talking for the rest of the day. Time tired of talking quickly, but he listened with a smile on his face. Wind, Wild, and Hyrule pointed out exciting clouds during lapses in the conversation. The other heroes offered things about themselves they had learned and things that helped them, too, so Sky wasn’t the only one. They made sure he didn’t feel like a burden, and they made sure he felt loved. 

For once, Sky was not the first to fall asleep. Time and Wild hadn’t responded in a while, and Legend hadn’t opened her eyes for her last three comments. Sky could feel the fatigue tugging on his eyelids as he struggled to keep up with the conversation. After his third yawn in as many sentences, Warriors reached over Wind and ruffled Sky’s hair. 

“Get some sleep,” Warriors said with a fond chuckle. “I’ll wake everyone up in time to make camp before dusk.”

“Okay,” Sky said around another yawn. He sighed contentedly and drifted off more easily than he had in weeks. He felt light, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. The problems with his body may not be able to be solved, but Sky was confident they could be managed, especially with his family by his side. 

[daytaker]

Only Human

Solomon thinks he deserves a little more credit.

Ship: Solomon x Reader (One-Sided) Word Count: 823 NightBringer Timeline Cross-Posted on AO3

Welcome home! What did you get up to today?

Ah… Uh-huh…

…What a headache.

Brothers, brothers, brothers. It’s always all about the brothers for you. It’s a little unfair, you know. Who’s there to protect you when things with “the brothers” go south? Hm? That’s right. But you just keep on charging after them as if they’re all that matters in the world. Never mind that I’m the one who literally followed you back in time. Never mind that I’m the only one who knows everything about your situation. Never mind that I’m the only one here who doesn’t have any agenda besides getting you home.

…Fair point. I suppose saying I don’t have any agenda isn’t completely honest. But who would I be if I didn’t sprinkle in some friendly, misleading comments with a big smile on my face?

I’ve become very attached to you. I’m not ashamed of that, and I’ve never tried to hide it. You’re a very charming person, and it’s only natural that if angels and demons are susceptible to that charm, I would be too. I’m only human, after all.

But please don’t forget this: you’re only a human too.

Allow me to reassure you that I’ll never become so resentful that I’d leave you behind. You’re far too precious for me to pull a stunt like that, and you’re far too unpredictable for me to even pretend I’d do it. For all I know, the minute I turn my back, you’ll somehow find yourself contractually obligated to serve as Vizier to the Acting Demon Lord for the next seven centuries, or be married to three or four of the brothers all at once. No, that isn’t how things work in the Devildom, but I still wouldn’t be surprised if you somehow pulled it off by sheer force of will.

Why don’t you just calm down and settle down with me instead?

Of course, I don’t suppose I plan on ever settling down. It would be awfully hypocritical of me to hold you to a different standard just because I felt a little jealous.

Yes, I feel jealous. You know I’m not ashamed of my feelings. That’s something I learned to get past after my first century or two of life. Being ashamed over your own feelings is a good way to make yourself miserable.

So I’ve come up with a great way to make myself less jealous and make you less attached to these past versions of the brothers. Are you ready to hear it? Why are you making that face? It’s a great idea, trust me!

We should become lovers.

What’s that look? You’re going to hurt my feelings. Anyway, there are plenty of practical reasons to follow this course of action; reasons that have no basis in emotion at all. For one thing, my reputation precedes me, so you would benefit from the respect and fear that attach themselves to my name. It’s also possible that strengthening our bond might make it easier for you to follow my trail of energy back into the future. And on a more immediate, practical note, it would cut down on heating expenses if we shared a bed.

Haha! I’m kidding, I’m kidding! You should have seen your face. And I thought Lucifer could be scary!

It seems like I haven’t convinced you yet. You’re awfully stubborn, you know? But I like that about you. I like almost everything about you.

Everything except that irritating fascination you have with those seven.

I guess I haven’t been too open about how I felt about that in the past (or in the future?). But I may as well lay my cards out on the table now. I would love to know how it feels to have you look at me the way you look at them. Maybe if you just had that sort of connection with just one of them, I could accept it, but it’s an entire family! It shouldn’t be that hard to squeeze an eighth person into the fold. But sometimes it feels like you barely spare me a second glance. Me! The greatest sorcerer to ever live; a human so enigmatic that angels and demons and reapers can barely understand me. 

Do you have a thing for demons in particular? Is it the tails? I suppose I’ll always come up short where tails are concerned. Dare I ask why you find tails so appealing? Surely it isn't...?

Hahaha! Oh, man, that face was even scarier than the last one!

It doesn’t really matter, I guess. Adore whoever you want to adore; I’ll always be the one who taught you magic. And no one can take that away from me. Not even you, my adorable apprentice.

Just so we’re on the same page, was that a ‘no’ to becoming lovers?

What about sharing a bed?

Sigh… You’re as cold as ice sometimes. I love that about you.

[aurae-rori]

hi friend, i am literally so glad i've found another dr. ratio enjoyer! you're literally such a great writer and I love your character analyses.

anyways, my curiosity is peaked, how is children of the city dr. ratio core?

First of all, thank you so much - haha, I'm glad that you enjoy my analyses and writings. I'm so sorry that it took me this long to get back to you - I had a few things to take care of, but I'm going to do a full analysis in your honour!

Analysis under the cut, because it gets really long. :)

"Sleep for a total of 800 hours per day And then drink a liter of milk Warm-up before you go play Only eat, or write Or pull the trigger with your right hand Only thing that's left Is to work on following commands"

I'm totally not projecting my gifted child trauma here, nuh uh... Anyway, my personal HC for Ratio is that his child might have felt monotonous being in classes that he was already too "intelligent" for. Learning things at a quicker pace than other children, absorbing knowledge up like a sponge - sure, the praise is nice, but after awhile, especially when you get to higher levels, intelligence isn't enough to carry you. You have to put diligence, effort, blood sweat and tears into what you're studying for, especially if you want to make a change, like how Dr. Ratio wanted to. It. must have gotten lonely, getting up only to do more researcher, eating only to go back to work. Following a schedule is wonderful, and he would have enjoyed the routine, but after being isolated from other people along with that, it might have made him feel subhuman or less than human for only being there for the studying of more knowledge. Eat, study, work, repeat. This is more of a personal HC rather than something canon, though. :)

"By the time you realize You'll be restrained to a desk And with your dreams on the floor, you comply Eyes chained to the test In 30 minutes, find a groom or bride Bonus if brunette In 90 hours, spill their insides Paint your room picturesque"

I feel like the prospect of romance is pushed onto children at a very young age - and that can be applied to Dr. Ratio. Who knows what romantic beliefs that he grew with? However, I believe this is less of him observing himself, but more of him seeing what the education system does to others, and how society molds others into the person that they "should" be, rather than what they want to be. Also, it could be a reference to academic trauma and placing all your self worth in your grades.

"Now it's time for another vendetta Going through the shelves Picking out my pre-written persona (ha-ah-ah) Children of the city sees only the neon stars Reflected upon the murky gutter sky Don't ask me why I desperately wish to be included in the city's night"

This is how I see Dr. Ratio holding a grudge against the Aeons and other figures of authority. We are all expected to be "good" and "well-behaved", and yet, we all look to the "city's night" - the approval of those who are in a higher position of us. We want to gain the approval and the praise of our parents, of our teachers - it's natural, after. We want to be included in the "city's night" - in Dr. Ratio's case, the gaze of Nous. He wants to be acknowledged by Nous and let into the Genius Society because his beliefs that were instilled into him as a child dictate that since he is hailed as a genius, he should be seen as one by the Aeons, right? However, I'd like to point out the usage of the words "neon stars" - stars are not neon. This implies that the stars are fake - I can also see this as a pointer to the idea of there system itself being fake, or societal "norms" being fake, as we are all unique.

"In four hundred thousand meters, turn right

Pick up a knife and stab a familiar warm body Learned to fight before I knew love or bitterness of coffee Snippy scissors cut down the strings I set myself free Only to figure out everything I chose was by proxy"

Dr. Ratio following orders until he doesn't. Fitting in until he gives up on it. Setting himself free from the chains of what is expected from him of other people, but not by the Aeons - no, that's something that still stays with him. However, I like to interpret the idea of a "familiar warm body" being his own childhood - killing the child that you used to be in favour of facing the future. Coffee is also something commonly regarded as students or workers using it to keep awake during long periods of work and study - it talks about how he has known to fight for himself, or fight for what he wants, before he was told to suck it up and just work for the sake of others, for the sake of the authority. However, this might feel scripted to him as well, with the mention of a "proxy" - it was a decision someone else made for him, maybe? Who knows? Maybe his selflessness was originally chosen by someone else, and drilled into him?

"As we suckled upon the nine millimeter pacifier Swallowing the fact that other than to expand We had no purpose As my ever-burning will to stay afloat backfires I now know I must be comfortable being Who I considered worthless"

This is definitely expanding on the idea of being raised to just be used by the authorities. Also, this can also be a representation of the way that he calls himself "mundane" - he was called a genius and raised as one, and now that Nous has not seen him, he must be "mundane" and he must come to terms that he is exactly what he wasn't called growing up. None of their words of praise have any meaning any more, because in the all seeing gaze of an Aeon, he is nothing.

"Follow the city's ribbon To a heart nobody seems to listen It takes my heart being broken and broken again (broken and broken again) To know that I am the reason why (the reason why) The sufferings never end"

As Dr. Ratio uncovers the truth of his childhood and the truth of why he was raised this way, the empathy that he has suppressed comes back up. And this is it - because he feels for others, because he is so incredibly human, that is the reason why his suffering does not end. He cannot detach himself like other people, like other geniuses, and treat life with little to no care. He cannot, because he loves, and that is his fatal flaw. He listens to his heart, as well as his mind, and that does not make him a genius in the eyes of an Aeon.

"Do not go home until you finish reading the value of E. 2.71 8281 8284 5904 5235 3602 8747 1352 6624 9775 7247 0936 9995 9574 9669 6762"

"E" is a mathematical constant, and therefore is logical. It's called the base of a natural logarithm, and while my knowledge in that area is limited, the fact that it is called a "constant" means that it cannot change, just like all numbers cannot. It might be a representation of the idea of Dr. Ratio trying again to fit in with others, only to fail once more, even though he knows all the rules. He was simply born in a different way, doomed from the start. It wasn't his fault.

He was just human.

You can also see this as Dr. Ratio observing the world as he grows up in an "apathetic" and "detached" way - as he pushes down his own emotions in favour of staring at his own success to help others, knowing that his empathy will not get him anywhere in terms of a cruel world. However, he cannot help it.

Ultimately, "Children of the City" is about how we are raised in a society that forces the idea of work on us ever since we are young. We do not get to cherish our childhoods nor our youth, and are immediately turned to the prospect of how we can provide value to society. We are raised in a never ending cycle like machines, to be puppets to corporations, to be slaves by the desire of the majority, to never have free will of our own.

Summoning @ironunderstands @pepper-demon @misty-lilies @sleepyburito :)

[golby-moon]

and now it's time for the art I did for the @spnangelsanddemons-rb (which is related to the @spnangelbang if anyone's curious which they're probably not but)

anyway. here's the banner I did for the fic on the left, and the original art thing I threw out there for the reverse bang that got it claimed. the original idea I had was based on Dean saying if he ever goes dark side, he wants Cas to 'take him out' and Cas being Cas completely misunderstands this and decides that means he should take Dean on a date (hence the flowers)

I tried to give Dean a demon-y sort of true form thing inspired by the dark smoke thing they do while adding stuff like the cracked soul to more subtly imply hey that's a demon. idk why everything is so glow-y either I just wanted to light up Cas' halo and angel eyes there and uh yeah now everything's glowing oops

by contrast this has no glowing though it does have a giant mirror because I love suffering. I actually did model this with weird cat erasers we have for some reason that naturally don't even erase anything and that's the only reason why the mirror isn't extremely wacky

the idea of having the mirror was to show the true forms of Dean and Cas as Dean becomes less and less of a demon as the story progresses and Cas sits there staring like normal even as his wings are totally visible which he doesn't even notice or worry about. I designed the little plates and food without realizing that none of them would appear at this angle and that's why everything's kinda pushed to the sides I was just happy they looked like food and couldn't make myself delete them dbjsudru

the only thing I didn't move was the vase of flowers that I had set up in the center of the table, which inspired me to make a little divider thing for the second time ever. along with the flowers, there's a fancy crane napkin thing and ofc a pie. never used this pen for anything big before really but I do like how these turned out so I might try it again sometime

the fic this is made for is called "Take Me Out" by @crematosis for the spn angels and demons reverse bang

(04/30/24)

[dannystheone]

hey guys so uh

i had an idea LOL just forget everything I said in the last post LMAO im so embarrassing-

this is just a little drabble because I do still have the urge to write just not my more drawn-out projects if that makes sense-

well anyway enjoy lel

WARNINGS: Cursing and discussing torture topics

Quit Distracting Us, Cartman! (Ler Cartman/ Lees Kyle, Kenny, and Stan)

Mr. Garrison talks about interesting historical torture practices throughout the ages in his classroom, but one of them is more diabolical than the rest...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Okay children, let's take our seats. Today we will be discussing different methods of torture practiced throughout history, as your history exam has a section on this topic. Flip your textbooks to page 202, please."

Mr. Garrison started writing on his chalkboard the lesson for the day while the fourth-graders set up their desks and flipped their textbooks. Kyle, Kenny, Stan, and Eric sat at their respective desks and took out their pencils and books.

"And then- and then I was like, "No way homo!" And I shot him with my-" Cartman rambled about a video game he was playing the night before to his friends (who couldn't care less, for the record) before Mr. Garrison interrupted him.

"Eric Cartman, take your textbook out and flip to page 202. We're talking torture topics today." Mr. Garrison instructed. Mr. Garrison might as well have told Cartman he was taking him on a surprise trip to Disneyland. His face lit up with childlike wonder as he took out his textbook.

"Torture topics?! Why didn't you say so?! Hurry up already and teach!" Cartman quickly flipped his book to the page and got his pencils and notebook set up to take studious notes. He's never been so well-prepared for a class in his life.

"Okay then children, today we will be discussing Ancient China and the torture methods they used against their people who committed crimes in the village. One of the most common torture methods was tattooing. Now, this may not seem like a-" Mr. Garrison went on describing torture methods used by the Ancient Chinese; the children wincing at some and grimacing at others, while Cartman drank it all in.

He didn't care if they were more of the boring ones or the more gruesome ones, he viewed them all one and the same. He felt so informed and educated. If only school were like this all the time.

Kyle held his throat while Stan winced and wrote down notes in his notebook while Mr. Garrison was finishing up with the Han Dynasty.

"Now children, nobility of Ancient China could be tortured as well for their crimes, but due to their status, they were given a punishment that would be considered light to most people. The method of choice was tickling, or tickling torture, as it was painless and left no marks behind on the noble's skin. The Ancient Chinese reserved tickling torture for nobles and those in positions of authority." Mr. Garrison read from his textbook.

Murmurs started going around the classroom and snickers at the goofy idea.

"Tickling as torture?" Wendy asked.

"It doesn't even hurt," Craig noted.

"That sounds awesome," Cartman remarked, starstruck. Kyle shivered at the idea while Stan held his breath. Kenny was playing with his pencil to distract himself when he felt a poke in his side. He let out a small noise behind his hood when he looked to his right and saw Cartman looking at him with a wicked grin.

"Whumph?" Kenny asked. Cartman said nothing and turned his attention back to the front. Mr. Garrison was trying to settle down the class as they grew more riled up at the discussion of tickling.

"Dude, imagine stealing a piece of bread to feed your family and you get tickled for a day. Like, what?" Stan asked with an amused grin. Kyle shook his head with a smile as he turned to Stan. The classroom was discussing among themselves now as Mr. Garrison quit trying to settle them down and organized his work instead.

"Mr. Garrison said they reserved it for nobility, dude. So imagine being a count or a duke or something and getting tickled. That's even more embarrassing- Ah!" Kyle felt a push in his side all of a sudden. He turned around to see Cartman with his pencil outstretched with the eraser sticking out.

"What Cartman? Don't do that!" Kyle berated. Stan snickered at Kyle's easy temper.

"Relax Kyle, he didn't do anyth-EENG!" Stan scrambled in his chair as he felt fingers wriggle in his side. Stan slapped Cartman's hand away and fumed at him.

"Dude Cartman what the hell is your problem? What do you want?" Stan demanded. Kenny, Stan, and Kyle looked at their friend demanding an explanation.

"I have been possessed with the spirit of an Ancient Chinese master tickler! It is all I know how to do. To punish- using tickles." Cartman claimed. Kyle rolled his eyes as he turned to Stan in his chair.

"Shut up dumbass, no you haven't. I'm sure it was more a myth than anything actually based in fact." Kyle theorized. Kenny turned to Cartman and placed his cheek on his fist.

"Speak in ancient Chinese if you've been possessed, Cartman." Stan teased. Kenny and Kyle laughed with Stan while Cartman fumed.

"Hmhmhmph! Yeah, spmeak in Chimnese imph youmph- mmph! Mhmhmhmph! Cartmahahan!" Kenny burst out in giggles as Cartman scribbled his fingers on Kenny's side. Kenny's parka made an awful zipping sound as Cartman's nails zipped on the synthetic material. Cartman switched to squeezing Kenny's side instead to lessen the noises he made.

"You disrespect the authori-tah of the almighty tickler! For that, you must perish!" Cartman demanded. Kenny's eyes narrowed as he kicked in his chair and held onto Cartman's wrist while he squeezed. Kenny brought his knee up in his seat to try and shield himself, but Cartman reached over and squished the top of his knee until Kenny squirmed enough to throw it back down.

"Cahahartman! Stohohomph! You'remph not funneheheymph!" Stan and Kyle turned around to see their friend getting tickled by Cartman. They looked at each other with a sigh.

"Cartman, let 'em go." Kyle reached out to lay a hand on Cartman's shoulder to stop him from tickling Kenny. "You're not possessed by the-" Cartman switched his attention to Kyle and grabbed his wrist to keep it in its upright position, and tickled Kyle's free armpit.

Kyle's serious face turned into one of mirth as he giggled and fought automatically. Kyle's elbow bent to pull his body close to his outstretched arm, which just closed Cartman's fingers into Kyle's divet and trapped them in between his armpit and his arm.

"Pffmt- Cahahartman! Lehehet go dumbahahass!" Kyle snickered as Stan watched, unsure of how to help. Kenny held his chest, recovering from the random tickle attack and breathing deeply.

"Your impolite nature will be corrected by the master tickler of Ancient China! You will learn to respect my authori-tah!" Cartman took his other hand and reached forward behind his desk to squish his hand in Kyle's side while his first hand was still stuck in Kyle's armpit. Kyle giggled at the ridiculous tickles, the loud classroom discussion between friends being the perfect cover for Kyle's laughter.

"Stohohop! Gehehet off mehehe duhuhuhude!" Kyle snickered, his face alight with his snickers. Stan pushed down his anxiety and tried to go a different approach. Stan reached forward and hooked his arm under Cartman's to pull his arm down and away from Kyle. But that still left him open. Cartman wasted no time in reaching forward with the newly dislodged hand and dove straight for Stan's hip.

Cartman squished Stan's hip through his shirt and jeans, but it was still enough to make Stan giggle and kick his leg. Now Cartman's hand was trapped underneath Kyle's armpit and squeezing Stan's hip at the same time.

"You will respect the ways of the Ancient Chinese tickler! You will pay for your insubordination!" Stan and Kyle continued to laugh while Kenny reached forward and started tugging on Cartman's arm.

"Kenny- Kenny myeh. Myeh Kenny- they were about to pay for their insubordinatiooon. Stop it, Kenny, you dickhole!" Cartman took his hands off Kyle and Stan and dove them both for Kenny, grabbing both his sides and squishing the divets. Kenny started giggling again and fell over onto his desktop, a real pile of giggles.

"Using this torture method, I'll build my own empire! Anyone who questions the almighty imperial leader will be sent to the stockades! It's almost too perfect..." Cartman fantasized about his empire while scribbling his fingers all over Kenny's sides, armpit, and zipping his fingers along his back. Anywhere he could reach Kenny was targeted.

"Cahahartman pleheheamph! Nohohomph mohohoremph!" Kenny laughed out behind his hood as he swung his arms towards Cartman to get him to back off.

"Cartman get off of him, he said to- stohohohop!" Stan burst out laughing as Cartman switched gears and reached forward to start squeezing Stan's sides again. Stan curled up as well as he could, but Cartman had a firm grip on him. Stan held onto Cartman's wrist with both hands while Kyle lunged forward to wrench Cartman off of Stan.

Cartman used his other hand to scribble his fingers in Kyle's neck and ears, to which Kyle made a small shriek and batted his hands away. With Cartman's arms outstretched to either side, Kenny took hold of Cartman's back and tried pulling him back from both of his friends, but his weight helped Cartman in this situation.

It was truly a scene, with Stan and Kyle laughing, Cartman having a tyrannical look on his face while Kenny tried wrenching back Cartman from tickling his friends. A sight to behold. And Mr. Garrison beheld it.

"Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric, what the hell do you think you're doing in my classroom?!" Mr. Garrison bellowed. All four of them froze in their comical position. Even Kyle and Stan's laughter ceased immediately as this was no longer funny.

"All four of you head down to the principal's office, this instant!" Mr. Garrison demanded. The boys scoffed as they slowly collected their belongings and made their way down to the Principal's office.

"Way to go Fatboy, you got us all in trouble," Kyle remarked.

"You talk to me like that again, Kahl, and the Ancient Chinese tickler will possess me again and punish you," Cartman retorted as he slung his backpack over his shoulder.

Kyle didn't respond to his threat. He didn't want to see if Cartman was serious or not.

At the end of the day, all four of them got a slap on the wrist for messing around in class when they should have been paying attention. But they all got the highest scores on their exams come test day.

[themacaronking]

okay while I finish my mitsuba CAN THE TBHK FANDOM PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN TERMS ON ITS LORE AND PLOT RECENTLY

I read a majority of the manga with my friend, last one I read was the one where they’re in the spooky house and Tsukasa was tiny (I think, don’t know if we finished it)

I don’t need an update of like everything past that point, but li what’s the crazy thing that happened\was revealed this october(?) that is making people suffer(?) My friend ghosted me in June and I’m worried that this has affected my guy extensively, on top of it being the anniversary of a song that ruined his life this month. I want to know in case he comes back, and so he doesn’t have to explain everything to me. Also I’m getting bestie fomo I don’t know. I assume it’s nothing to do with ASHK

(SPOILERS) I read on the wiki about this new reality situation where they like removed the existence of the thing inside Tsukasa and that basically ruined everything by a big butterfly effect and now a bunch of dead characters are alive, is it just that or is it worse? It must be worse right? I mean A LOT must have happened in order for that to take place or be attempted and actually work. Or is there even more? Like in my opinion that doesn’t seem that bad? And it’s not finished so it’s not like anything was fixed? Is it even permanent? Oh yeah and it’s hanako so of course the catch to such a sweet new reality is going to be V I L E .

I mention October because I saw a meme calling October cursed for what it did the fandoms of alien stage, project sekai and suddenly toilet bound hanako kun and I would have collapsed if not for my antidepressants. I want to collapse now I deserve it lol. Whatever it is it will wreak me because Tbhk was one of my favourite things my freind would yap about and can you like even imagine how special it is narrating entire books together with silly voices for all the characters (mitsuba was posh and British and kou sounded like a motorcycle) I’m pretty sure he’s forgotten all of it but still. I want to understand just how drenched those happy silly memories have become by the new lore and/or direction by trying to comprehend it myself. It’s Tbhk so I struggle to believe wherever you’ve been left on is a happy note.

I’m terrified to look at the tags, and I CAN just read the wiki but I wanted to take the less lonely option. I probably will have to in the end anyway but I’m not even sure if all the info is there. I know how much traction this is going to get either, so I don’t know if I’ll reply to comments. Also please link me to/tell me if there is an easier way to access the information other then having to load presumably multiple differed pages of a slow wiki fandom dot com congested with ads and spoiler warnings (no offence). Any interaction is greatly appreciated. Ive got an Inktober of mitsuba going to miku expo drawing in the works for you regardless. It’s not good. But it’s mitsuba 💖 I’ll also probably do something else if there really is any response it means a lot and I will feel guilty not returning it. That is if the info doesn’t cause me to kms (the ideal). It might not be mitsuba 💖

I’m also not very well versed on everything but I think I’ve got the basics and then the bits after the basics down. It’s like the reasoning behind actions that throws me off maybe. That’s why I also probably won’t reply, I’ve got to try and wrap my head around it, I have dyslexia (excuse).

If nobody can be bothered or just isn’t well enough to explain it mentally THAR IS COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE. It’s okay if this flops Idc I just wanted to like. Uh. Be there for you. It’s tough out there for the Tbhk fans. It’s okay I love you you’ll get through it.

AND feel free to explain it in the worst most unhelpful or incomprehensible or funny or insane way as you’d like. It might be easier for me you never know, also it’s fun. It would additionally be fun if the response to this was overwhelming and it was all just to the first thing I said and was Tbhk fans being like “me too” “so real” “why do you expect us to know”

[xenonmoon]

I accidentally stumbled upon some Spider-man 2099 comics and since I can't watch across the spiderverse in theatres (photosensitivity sucks) and Miguel O'Hara has become a constant presence on my dash/home in almost literally every social I have I decided to give it a go and see who this guy is and why is the internet so obsessed with him all of a sudden I wrote down some notes while I was reading so here we go. Xenon reacts to Spider-man 2099

It's giving me a loooot of cyberpunk and blade runner vibes from here and ngl I dig it

I already notice the suit is a little different but not too much? The spikes in the forearms here are less noticeable at least. And I didn't remember ever seeing the webbing

I love this pose

Oh my god this is so me fr fr

PFFTDHFS I MADE A LOUD SNORT ok I like this guy

He seems like that type of 90s savage-edgy-I-hate-everyone guy, so far considering the context he's kinda funny

I don't know how much they've changed about his backstory in atsv so I'm writing it all down as it's told in the comics

So his father was a scientist working for this Alchemax and the corporation kinda groomed both since they were children to become their top tier geneticists and work for them. They've invested a lot on Miguel and they use it to have a hold on him, since he's the only guy not addicted to the Rapture which is a very nasty and genetically bound (?) drug only Alchemax is allowed to distribute.

The corporations is running genetic experiments to enhance human abilities and all of that using animals as source, the latest project was an attempt to replicate what happened to Spider-Man in ma marketable way

Except they've become pretty savage with it and started doing experiments on humans (starting with criminals) BEFORE it's confirmed to be safe. And the last one miserably failed (or grandiosely succeeded, depending on the point of view - the guy actually came back with super strength and all of that but he was a heavily disfigured mutant who tired to strangle O'Hara and died short after).

So Miguel said fuck this shit I'm out

(cw: drugs from there on)

... Except they poisoned his drink with a dose of Rapture and how he's screwed. "oh no worries Miguel we're not forcing you to stay" my ass.

fucking bastardssssssssss

FUCKING BASTARDSSSS

honestly though "rapture" as a name choice is sooooo 90s. I remember reading Infinity Crusade (1993) a few months ago and there too they made a big deal about something they called "the rapture". And goddess and holiness and penitence and sinners and REPENTTTT and other overly Christian stuff like demons that was littering everything I've read from that time (which is just all the Moon Knight stuff that got out in that period but-)

the satanic panic hit hard huh

So anyway if Miguel doesn't do anything to fight this rapture thing he's royally screwed and forced to keep working on them

So he remembers that for lab tests he was using his own genetic material so he's got a full backup of it pre-rapture and he's planning to use the machines at the lab to overwrite the changes the drug made

sound good to me, quite a solid plan

Except this guy, who Miguel insults regularly on daily basis, decides to take his petty vengeance switching the "clean" O'Hara backup with the one they're experimenting with for the spider project.

Well this is fine

AND ON TOP OF THAT HE'S TRYING TO SHIFT THE BLAME ON HIM

also naked Miguel O'Hara gents, you're welcome

Uh-oh

IT'S MORBING TIME

honestly I know vampires were massively popular in the 90s and it's kinda obvious they wanted to ride that wave and use the aesthetics to appeal to vampire fans and-

works for me

also how do those claws work? It feels a bit weird to see both nails AND claws, sort of like when you realise centaurs have 2 ribcages. Bit more redundant though, would've made more sense if he'd lost his original nails. Oh well.

He's me when I'm at my parents' house and my mother throws me out of my bed on Sunday morning at 8ish because THE EARLY BIRD CATCHES THE WORM DON'T YOU THINK YOU'VE SLEPT ENOUGH and I'm just left there confused af trying to figure out where I am, when I am, what day and year this is and what's exactly happening in my life

MOOD

big eh for the sexualised hologram house assistant, ok it's the 90s and it's a thing of the genre and all of that but I've read too many papers about sociological consequences of female-coded robots or assistants (in short: encourages closely associating the slave/servant role to women and it ends up affecting real women too. it's bad bad) to not be judging this very hard

His first thoughts about them claws was going to the bathroom and picking his nose, so valid of him

honest to god if I had claws I'd be constantly fidgeting with them pressing the fingertip to make them come out like you do with cats.

That's it for part 1, I will probably make a part 2 when I continue reading them

Honestly they suffer a bit from being born in the 90s but I'm enjoying them so far and I like the character. If he hasn't changed too much in the movie then ok I get it now

[the-wiggler]

I hope we kiss goodnight, it might just end my life

phyiscally cannot stop thinking about elliot and sunshine and im projecting bad in this fic but shhhh im allowed to.

sypnosis: sunshine cant sleep, except when elliot is around. [title is from Kiss Goodnight by IDKHOW]

word count: 1.1k

Their eyes slowly fluttered open, blue morning light washing over their room, tinting everything in the same hue. They were facing the ceiling now, their blanket tangled between their legs. 6 am. Their eyes fluttered shut, a weary sigh filling the empty room. That was what…2 hours of sleep? It’s better this way. Force themselves to sleep later, the self-induced insomnia meant that their brain prioritises deep sleep over REM, the dream-having sleep phase. That was what their therapist said anyway. Less sleep means less REM means less dreams means less nightmares.

Sure, it was an “unhealthy” coping mechanism, with its “averse” side effects, and a method their therapist “highly discouraged”. But if it meant fewer nightmares, Sunshine would brave the sluggishness, the irritation, the occasional nausea and the concerned looks from their friends.

Like now, as they sat on the worn, soft couch of Elliot’s apartment. Sinking into the worse-for-wear leather, scratched and faded in a way that perfectly matched Elliot’s second-hand-vintage-found-on-the-side-of-the-road-borderline-trash-esque design choices, they avoided the watchful gaze of their friend and hoped that their concealer had done a good enough job to cover their eyebags.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, because I think you look amazing as you are, Sunshine,” He chuckled, settling down next to them, “But, uh, you’re looking a little….worse for wear.”

Ok so maybe the concealer wasn’t doing the best job.

They waved their hand dismissively, making up some excuse about jobs, life, busy this, busy that, no time to rest. It came easily now. Lying, that is. And it wasn’t really a lie, they had filled and jam-packed their schedule full of random events to avoid a moment of rest, should they accidentally slip back into the ever-inviting embrace of sleep.

Not good enough for Elliot, though. As they watched his brow furrow in a way that made them want to instinctively smooth out, they racked their brain to reassure Elliot. There was, after all, no need to pile on more shit to Elliot’s plate.

“I’ve just been having trouble sleeping is all,” They reassured him quickly, “Nothing to worry about, I got some melatonin pills and it’s just taking some time to get used to.”

He conceded with one last concerned look, before turning his attention to the TV. “Alright, so, I was thinking for tonight, we could watch…The Tunnel? Or….Final Prayer?”

Now it was their turn to quirk an eyebrow. “You want to watch a horror movie? Mr. Never Watched FNAF, Mr. Scared of the Babadook, Mr-”

“Ok listen, I think we both know that the 4th FNAF game is genuinely horrifying. And, well, no, I’d much rather watch an actually feel-good movie. But if my bestest friend of all time has been raving about how wonderful this movie is, and has been feeling down, I will concede and watch whatever mind-fucky content you so eagerly consume as a coping mechanism. I’m simply fulfilling my best friend duties. No matter how messed up it is. And I will ignore how the fact that you watch horror movies as a coping mechanism is a major red flag and possibly a sign of a budding serial killer. Because I’m such a good friend. The best, even. ”

They scoff indignantly, “Ok, yeah I’m the serial killer. Says the one whose forever excuse is Sorry, was burying the bodies.”

It always starts like this. As Elliot loads up the movie, they make sure to maintain a completely platonic distance between them, two friends sitting on a couch, five feet apart because they are not pining for their ridiculously attractive, soft-hearted best friend. Elliot scoots closer, the leather dipping under his weight, forming a crater around them, cocooning them together, pushing Elliot closer to them. They feign annoyance as Elliot shoots a mischievous look at them. “Oh don’t think you’re getting away scot-free, Sunshine. I might be sacrificing several nights of sleep to cheer you up, but you’re going to be my human shield tonight. Trade-offs.”

Despite this, he wraps an arm around them, the dip of the couch pushing them snugly into his side. Who’s protecting who, Elliot? Regardless, they lean into his touch, his hand gently moving up and down their arm.

They blink.

The blanket around them definitely did not belong to them, but smelled familiarly comforting in a way that broke down all of Sunshine’s defences. Half asleep and not fully cognizant of their surroundings, they push themself deeper into the blanket burrow around them, instinctually chasing the fuzzy feeling of slowly waking up in the morning after a good, solid, rejuvenated night of sleep.

“Morning sleepyhead.” A familiarly husky voice; and the words don’t register, nothing but the groggy understanding that this voice emanated safety, understanding, and protection pulled Sunshine out of their dazed state. They push themselves up, rubbing their eyes to see Elliot standing there, morning hair unruly, beaming down at them. “You zonked out last night on my couch.”

Too groggy to come up with a retort, they lean into him as he sits next to them. He makes a noise of surprise, but otherwise lifts his arm to allow them to press into his side. “You’re oddly snuggly Sunshine,” He chuckles, pulling them closer, “And you fall asleep every time we hang out, am I that boring?” They half-heartedly slap his chest, feeling his chuckles reverberate through them. They sit there, in silence, simply enjoying the slow mornin in each others presence before Elliot clears his throat awkwardly.

“Anyways, uh, how was your sleep last night?”

“Good,” They mumble, “Slept well.” No nightmares, no dreams at all, actually rested. Better than they had all month

“That’s uh-that’s good.”

“Only ever sleep well when you’re around.” Still sleep-addled and fueled by the simple wants of the heart, they bring their arms to wrap around his torso, mumbling sleepily against his chest, “Maybe you’re magic.”

As they drift off back into a dreamless sleep, Elliot’s hands move to pull them in closer. Pressing a kiss to the crown of their head, he whispers, his voice impossibly soft, yearning dripping from his words, “Just for you, Sunshine.”

[nburkhardt]

Was talking about projecting with @i-less-than-three-you and uh….Thought of Something.

Growing up Steve wasn’t allowed opinions or talking back. It made him silent, made him want to speak up but words got caught. Doubt would start up and he just didn’t do anything.

It made life harder on himself but eventually he grew more and more. Eventually realizing he can have opinions, can voice them and eventually, talking back.

His confidence grew with it but unfortunately so did the anxiety, the doubt.

But not only that, but he was silenced too. Ignored. He’d start talking, have a good conversation with anyone but sometimes, when whoever he’s talking to doesn’t like what he said or wants to move on, they’ll talk over him and say whatever they want.

He remembers a car ride with his mother once, talking about his father and when he started admitting his disdain and annoyance with him, his mother ignored it and immediately pointed something out to him and refused to speak about the original thing. It made him feel silenced, uncomfortable and felt out ignored.

To this day it all still happens, not so much with his parents anymore. They’re too wrapped up into their business, not at all concerned about him anymore. But it happens with his friends and found family, his brain has definitely trained him into snapping his mouth shut when it happens now.

It’ll always hurt, he thinks, knows.



~

Does it make sense?? I hope it reads okay. I was rambling/venting by projecting onto Steve (again)

Under the cut is a vent/explanation and my taglist (idk if this counts as a fic but I’m sure you’ll all want to be informed that I am still here thinking up ideas & can write. Wips just aren’t there yet ☹️)

btw: peeps on my taglist is this something you wanna be tagged on or do you just want to just be tagged on fics??

I didn’t notice it was even happening until recently. But my family does this thing when I’m talking and they’re not happy with whenever or wants to move on or doesn’t care for what I’m saying, they’ll switch the topic. They’ll come up with an excuse or mumble under their breath, or just say something else entirely.

It didn’t click until I started actively changing my outlook with everything. (Also when I had a fucking massive breakdown in the middle of quarantine in 2020) Once you notice it, it’s hard to ignore. It happened to me just recently again, I was trying to talk to my mom about some family issues and I started to notice her shaking her head and then immediately mumbled about something she was looking at. It made me shut up immediately and realized she wasn’t going to hear me.

It’s a constant battle and I always lose the words to speak up.

Anyway, taglist!!!!

@spectrum-spectre @itsfreakingbats @mysticcrownshipper @artiststarme @thereindeerlady @justforthedead89 @ronniescontinuum @freyaforestafay @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @gregre369 @zerokrox-blog @bookworm0690 @flustratedcas @carlprocastinator1000 @marvelmwah @solliesolesito @navnae @grimmfitzz