#I presume from today

[heartsoftruth]

LEWIS IN MONACO | 01.03.25

[recurring-polynya]

Hey, pals! Weird Bleach mystery time!!

So, I was perusing the Bleach wiki, as is my wont, when I found this interesting tidbit on the Squad 4 page:

Members of the 4th Division are not allowed in the Human World.

which is cited as coming from Bleach manga; Volume 13, Chapter 111, end of chapter sketch. But when I looked it up, it's this:

It's Squad 4-related, obviously, but it doesn't say anything about the World of the Living. (My copy is the Viz version, and I also checked, ummmm, an online copy that I know of that has a slightly different translation and a compilation I found that someone had made of all the chapter sketches and they were all the same.)

This anecdote is mentioned in more detail under Iemura's entry:

In order to increase his handsomeness, Iemura searched Soul Society for contact lenses but was unable to find any. When he heard rumors of a renegade Shinigami selling contacts for Shinigami in the Human World, Iemura used his self-proclaimed fame and handsomeness to get around the ban on 4th Division members going to the Human World in order to find the contact lenses seller. When the rogue Shinigami instead offered him laser surgery using tiny beams of Reishi, Iemura thought it sounded too good to be true. Upon seeing the machine that performed the surgery, and noticing the dark eyeshadow on the Shinigami's face that resembled burn marks, he chickened out. Due to certain unspecified problems, he can no longer go to the Human World, leaving him wondering what would have happened if he had tried the surgery and if he would still be single.

This is sourced to the chapter sketches accompanying 109-112, which are literally all just Iemura complaining about his job and Squad 11 and Captain Kyouraku, it doesn't say anything about this shaggy dog contact lens story.

Does anyone know what gives? Is it possible that the chapter sketches got changed or moved around when the chapters were collected into a tankouban? It seems too big a difference to be blamed on translation error, but then again, the picture is just Iemura writing in his dumb journal, so maybe the text could have been changed. I feel like I have the vaguest memory of all this nonsense--maybe it got adapted into a Shinigami's Cup at some point??? I don't know!! I just wanted to know if Squad 4 was allowed to go to the WotL, like, if some shinigami got a neck injury on a mission and shouldn't be moved, but now I'm invested. I'm in too deep. someone who is good at Squad 4 trivia please help me out. my family is dying.

[4suitedplayingcard]

Me logging onto Tumblr after skewl and seeing that there's been discourse surrounding one of my fav ships

[kaikamahine]

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[paramounticebound]

🐌

I'm dropping 90% of my threads because I'm pretty overwhelmed.

Soooo meme spam call for new ones maybe? Like this post and I'll go through your meme tag and send you 3-5 memes. New followers welcome. Multis, please specify a muse.

[trashcollector]

Thanks withers

[statementlou]

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[britneyshakespeare]

You gotta be real comfortable with your job as a public school teacher to leave your prescription bottle on your desk

[noirandchocolate]

Me: *furiously trying to edit this court opinion, upset about damage to our sun room from a recent horrible scary rainstorm, antsy in cubicle, bouncing leg like a damn kangaroo* I suffer.

Mom: I'm baking you some potatoes so you guys can have them when you get home from work.

Bast: I put away the Christmas tree all by myself so you wouldn't have to.

Me: I am loved and I can get through anything!!!

[mako-designated-driver]

Codex Entry #92: A Ghoulish Delight

My dearest Regine:

Surely you must have heard of the Paget's failing fortunes? They've lost almost everything. The lord made some bad decisions and trusted people he shouldn't. All that's left is La Maison Verte, in the Dales. They have to sell it and move to the city. I was called upon to find someone willing to buy the house. You would be so proud of me. I surpassed all the lord's expectations.

I looked into La Maison's history first. Did you know it was built in the time of the elves? It was a sanctuary dedicated to Andruil, goddess of the forest; the house was built around the ruins. The heart of the shrine was an etched stone altar, now in the grand hall. It's quite spectacular. Any noble in Val Royeaux would be envious of something with such historical significance. I planned a party to show off the house and its elven altar. We had it decorated with white flowers and candles, even brought in some harts to graze in the garden outside. The effect was stunning.

Then, my stroke of genius! Remember when Lady Carine's pastime was reading about elves, and how sympathetic she was to what happened in the Dales? She couldn't stop talking about how we must make contact with the restless elven spirits. All her lady companions were so taken with the idea. Well, I did just that. Or I made the guests believe that's what happened. I had to hire a mage to help, of course—a very discreet fellow from Montsimmard.

During the party, I talked about how the house was a haunt for sad elven spirits. They ate it all up. Romantic, they said. For the final touch, I had everyone join hands around the elven stone and pray, and the mage (no names!) cast a spell that made us dance like puppets on strings and sing "The Little Bluebird of Summer."

It was a triumph! Offers began pouring in! One of them was even from a representative of Grand Duchess Florianne.

Oh, I have so much to tell you. I can't wait to return.

With great love,

Ignatius

[secret--history]

the whole 'there are not very many Great Causes worth fighting for these days' from Julian scanned as WAY more out of touch than the moon landing thing for me the first time i read tsh

[taylorrepdetective]

It’s been very interesting to see how this is slowly being picked up in the mainstream media. No one outside the fandom really cared when it was him just being reported as a creepy, misguided edgelord. Then once the porn stuff went around, more people got upset within the fandom, Buzzfeed picked it up and it made it into a few other semi-mainstream publications, like Insider. Black Twitter picked up on it and it spread. But still, no significant impact in the general public. And just when it felt like she might have been winning the PR war with her concerts last weekend and him not being seen, as well as her gaining sympathy because of the crazy crowds, she brought him out again and it picked up again just in time for her to include Ice Spice in the mess, and now it’s in the Washington Post. Regardless, everyone will be watching and listening tonight to see what the fuss is about and I have yet to see any sign of a dent in sales/streams/ticket prices (they keep going up), but I do wonder about that cash grab purple swirl vinyl they put out the other day and how that sold. As well as speak now preorder cancellations. Because those are bought by the die hard fans and that would give them a really good datapoint to see any actual effects from all this, beyond people yelling into the void.

[bookwyrminspiration]

ana girl WHAT do you see in him

[beholdingslut]

finally protected myself but at what cost…

[epiaphany]

:)

[sufficientlylargen]

It always gets me that the name "Gandalf" literally just means "Wand-Elf" or "Stick-Elf". I'm imagining old Gondorians just being like:

Librarian: I saw that weird guy at the library again today.

Guard 1: What weird guy?

Librarian: The old guy with the beard? Kinda elfy-looking, apart from the beard?

Guard 1: Oh, with the big-ass stick?

Librarian: Yeah, looked like he was carrying an entire tree branch.

Guard 2: Yeah, that's the Stick Elf.

Guard 1: Hell yeah, I fuckin' love the Stick Elf.

Librarian: The "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: He comes by every few years, usually after some weird book or other.

Librarian: Oh. Yeah, he wanted a treatise on goblin breeding habits.

Guard 2: Like, how they have sex? We have books on that?

Librarian: Yeah, turns out we do. I was as surprised as you are.

Guard 1: What'd the Stick Elf need a fuckin' goblin-fuckin' book for?

Librarian: I didn't ask. So you just call him "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: I mean, he looks kinda elfy and he always has that stick, so, like, yeah.

Guard 1: Dude also has some fuckin' dope pipeweed.

Guard 2: Oh yeah, his pipeweed is awesome.

Librarian: How long has he been coming here?

Guard 2: Oh, for decades. He's, like, super old.

Guard 1: More like fuckin' centuries. Dude's old as balls.

Guard 2: Wait, really?

Guard 1: Yeah, my gran-gran used to talk about him. She loved his pipeweed too.

Librarian: So he's… an immortal pipeweed dealer?

Guard 2: I think he's just, like, a connoisseur. He doesn't sell it or anything. He just always has some really top-notch pipeweed on him.

Archivist: Oh, are we talking about Stick Elf?

Guard 1: Hell yeah we are!

Librarian: You know about the Stick Elf, too?

Archivist: Oh, totally. Stick-Elf's a super chill dude. Gave me some awesome pipeweed when I was maybe 12, and tee-bee-aitch I think I'm still a little buzzed from it.

Guard 1: What'd I tell ya, fuckin' dope pipeweed!

Archivist: Also he's really old.

Guard 1: Old as balls.

Librarian: Yeah, so Éodan and Jenniforomir were telling me.

Archivist: My grandpa used to tell me stories - he said one time he saw Stick Elf enter a smoke-ring contest.

Guard 1: Ooh, I'll bet he kicked fuckin' ass.

Archivist: Apparently the guy made an entire warship out of smoke and it flew around shooting down the other rings.

Librarian: And how much of this "fuckin' dope" pipeweed had your grandfather had by this point?

Guard 1: No no, that's totally plausible. Dude's got weird elf powers and shit for sure.

Archivist: He brought fireworks for the king's birthday one year, too.

Guard 1: Oh fuck, I forgot about those! Fuckin' incredible fireworks! Dragons and knights and glowy trees and shit! I was fuckin' 6 years old or something, they totally blew my mind. Hey Éodan, did you see that shit?

Guard 2: No, I think that's before I lived in Gondor.

Guard 1: Wait, you're not from here?

Guard 2: Oh, no, I grew up in Rohan. We moved here when I was, like, thirteen because my uncle Éojeff said he could get my dad a sweet job. And also that there were houses that didn't smell like horseshit.

Guard 1: Oh shit, are you related to Éojeff and Éosteve who run that æbleskiver stand on Norndîl St?

Guard 2: Yeah, they're my uncles!

Guard 1: Shit, they cook a fuckin' great æbleskiver!

Librarian: Ok, hold up a sec, "Stick Elf" can't possibly be his real name.

Guard 1: Why not?

Librarian: What? You think his parents named him in the hopes that he would carry around a fucking tree when he got older?

Guard 2: Maybe they gave him the tree when he was born!

Archivist: I don't think a baby could carry that stick.

Guard 1: You ever seen a baby hanging onto something? They're hella strong.

Archivist: It's not a strength thing, their hands are tiny. That staff is enormous!

Guard 1: My halberd's bigger 'n I am, I can hold it just fine.

Archivist: You're not a baby.

Librarian: Also why would elf parents name their kid "stick ELF"?! Presumably they know that their kid's going to be an elf!

Archivist: Is he actually an elf? I didn't think they grew beards.

Guard 1: How'd he get old as balls if he's not an elf?

Guard 2: His ears aren't that pointy. Maybe he's just a really old guy? Like, a Numémoriam or something?

Guard 1: Did you just say "Numémoriam"?

Guard 2: Nûnenorman? Munimõrbitan? Y'know, those guys like the king that can get super old.

Guard 1: You mean the fuckin' Númenóreans?

Guard 2: Yeah, the Númenóreums.

Archivist: Even the Númenóreans don't live THAT long.

Guard 1: Plus he carries that fuckin' stick around.

Guard 2: Wait, what does the stick have to do with it?

Guard 1: That's an elf thing. Y'know, trees and shit? Very elfy.

Librarian: Ok, look, but his parents naming him "Stick Elf" would be weird whether or not he's an elf. In fact, it's even weirder if he's not - what human names their kid "elf"?

Archivist: Huh. Yeah, you're right, he probably does have another name.

Guard 2: Yeah, I guess so.

Librarian: He's been coming here for decades and nobody's ever asked his real name?

Archivist: I dunno what to tell you, he's Stick Elf. Even his library card just says 'Stick Elf'.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah, the Stick Elf!

Guard 2: Maybe we could, like, ask him his name sometime?

Guard 1: Hey, look, Elrond's over there. He's old as balls too, maybe he knows?

Guard 2: Oh, we shouldn't interru-

Guard 1: HEY ELROND, YOU'RE OLD AS BALLS, RIGHT? WHAT'S THAT OLD ELF WITH THE STICK'S NAME?

Elrond (coming over): Do you mean an old man cloaked all in grey and blue, leaning on a rough-cut staff, who came to the great library this day?

Guard 1: Yeah, the Stick-Elf!

Guard 2: (Sorry to bother you, sir...)

Librarian: He's got to have a real name besides 'the Stick Elf', right?

Elrond: Indeed, for no elf is he. You speak of the wizard Olórin, wisest of the Maiar, older even than Eä itself. Many are his names in many countries: Tharkûn among the Dwarves; Incánus to the south; Mithrandir he is called among my people, the Grey Pilgrim.

Librarian: Oh.

Elrond: And here in the North he is called Stick-Elf.

Librarian: Oh.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah!