#I personally like the reading that the Nada story is a metaphor

[five-and-dimes]

Listen. Listen. In no universe will I pretend that Dream wasn’t in the wrong when he condemned Nada to Hell. That was fucked up.

But bear with me and trust that I know that while we take a step back from that for a second to talk about something else.

Nada saw Dream from afar, fell in love with him, and went on a quest to track him down. Once she finds Some Guy In A Mask (not realizing who he is) she talks about how she loves this mystery man so much. Mask Guy is like “For real?” and she’s like “For real for real!!” Then he takes off his mask and is like “this is amazing I absolutely love you too!!” and Nada is immediately like “oh shit, Dream?? Of the Endless??? Nvm gotta go”

Everything after that is 100% shitty of Dream. Not arguing that. However, treating this as fictional characters in a story….

A woman saw Dream, claimed to love him enough to track him down, and then as soon as she found out who he was she was horrified.

So anyway when I think about Dream not wanting to reveal his identity to Hob that’s what I’m thinking about.

[risu5waffles]

Who, or What, is a risuko?

Tagged by@candybagcj , transfemme Alan Wake. Alaina? Would that be Alaina?

Who were you named after?

Like most trans gals, i'm named after myself. i honestly didn't realize it would work out to be squirrel girl until it was far too late. i was just thinking i was being clever wiv bilingual numbers puns.

Last time you cried?

i don't remember, and this is honestly a bit of a problem for me. i kinda feel like it would be a healthier if i could just have a good, honest cry for once. Oh! Wait, i do remember! But it's not really a public consumption story, sorry.

Do you have kids?

No. Steps were taken. There are a few folx in my community young enough to be my kids, and i only hope i have been a positive parental-adjacent person in their lives. That's an honest hope, they're good kids (tho', i think the youngest of that lot is a whole-ass adult now. How time flies).

What sports do you play/did you play?

Zilch, nada, none. Not very sporty, me. i tried a couple when i was a real wee squirrel, but none of them really stuck. i do like biking around and walking, so i'm not completely inactive.

Do you use Sarcasm?

Not as much as i used to, honestly. i've made an effort to get out of the habit. Partly because it doesn't really track well in Japanese, and partly because i think Whedon-esque/mst3k-style 90's snark is a bane. i'm well tired of social masks, and happy to be quit of them (medical masks, tho', those are great).

First thing you notice about people?

Fashion and ink, how they hold their bodies. My aversion to looking at people's faces has only gotten worse as i've gotten older.

Do you have any talents?

i was a dab hand at embalming way back in the day, and i can still walk through all the steps in my head.

Scary Movies or Happy Endings?

Or, hear me out, scary movies wiv happy endings. i'm not against a total party wipe, and can appreciate them when they're done well. But i do like it when we can over come the metaphorical horrors, it happens so seldom in meatspace, you know? Also, i am morally obligated to mention here that the 1988 version of The Blob is one of the best movies ever, and is both scary and has a happy ending.

Where were you born?

i'm adopted, so i couldn't tell you wiv any real granularity. Blacksburg Virginia, US is as close as i can get you. Not a big city, tho', can't be that many hospitals. Unless i was born in a ditch. i'd honestly like it if i were a ditchwater baby.

What are your hobbies?

Creating in LittleBigPlanet (full series); wiv the official servers for 3 being down i've gone back to 1 & 2 to see how well i can do in those Create Modes; it's been fun. Trying to work up the courage to jailbreak my ps3 to get on the private servers, but fucking up my console or account isn't an expense i can really afford at the mo.

Do you have any pets?

i have a rat skeleton named Sydney who i rescued from a school i was demolishing (as part of a job, mind you. i didn't just rock up to some random school and start wailing away wiv a crowbar). i love her dearly, and have only fed her blood the couple of times.

How tall are you?

Oh! i just had a medical checkup, so i know this one; i am officially 178cm and some change.

What was your favourite subject in school?

Forensic Science in uni. We got to handle bones. i got to read through Spitz & Fisher's Medicolegal Investigation of Death. My prof had an entirely healthy fascination wiv kaiju (this was prior to coming to Japan, and in the 90's, so a bit more unusual than if i'd gone to school here).

Dream Job?

Embalming. Or at least something involving corpses. i get the dead way better than i get the living. And no corpse has ever called me fag (pejorative).

Who to tag, who to tag. Hrmm @soupum & @jacechaotic , but only to the extent you want to answer any of this, of course!

[swiftythewriter]

so, i’m supposed to be studying and def not be on social media rn but i am legit tearing up about Martha Jones and what she means to me as a character that i’m just going to try and to write this out so i can hopefully focus

to get one thing straight, Martha Jones is not my favorite character. i started watching DW when I was about twelve and tbh, for years after that i never really connected with her. it’s not too surprising since in terms of background, personality, and life experience (because, come on, i’m a lily white, only child shut in from the deep south) we had next to nothing in common. 

but.

out of all the characters that have been on the show, Martha Jones is solidly the one I want to live up to the most. 

maybe the reasons why are obvious, but they didn’t really crystallize to me till just now. the main one, for me, is that through out her arc her happiness did not depend on another person. even within her arc where she faced the consequences of her unrequited feelings, she still had this noticeable trait before she even said it out loud.

to go and break it down further, i believe there are several aspects to her personality that are important contributors in this: dedication, responsibility, and strong sense of self worth

dedication: this one seems pretty obvious, since when we are first introduced to Martha we are shown her position as a med student in her last year of residency. everyone with passing knowledge of what it takes to be a doctor knows this isn’t for the faint of heart. knowing just that we can already infer that she’s studious, hard working, and intelligent.

but it goes beyond that, as is continually shown throughout her arc. she becomes know as the “Woman Who Walked the Earth”, a title she got by literally walking around the earth for a year in an apocalyptic hellscape and never once wavering in completing in her mission. she didn’t just join but rose through the ranks of UNIT to the point where she was trusted with the Osterhagen key-quite literally the most important responsibility given to any single person at that point in human history.

and if we are talking about less dramatic examples, kindly take a look where Martha spent months undercover in an incredibly racist time period with absolutely no support despite there being actually no reason beyond Ten needing his little moral moment and yet not only managed to keep her spirits, but also is directly responsible for the Doctor’s plan not being any more of a clusterfuck than it already was. same story with “Blink”, where they both got trapped in the sixties and Martha once more had to stand up and handle things behind the scenes.

next, responsibility: this ties in really well with dedication and it can go double for all the things i listed above. the reason i think this is, is that as a result of her dedication and moral code, Martha tends to take on the problems set before her to the best of her abilities because she sees it as the right thing to do.  

but what i really want to look at is Martha’s sense of emotional responsibility, as in not the actions she takes but why she takes them. i feel like this is best seen in how she acts towards her family and is what really sets her apart from the other companions in the series. 

because you know what she does? she stays. her family needs her.

and here’s the ringer because name one character, one, since her that makes an active effort to maintain their relationships with their families when the Doctor comes to play. i can’t. really, i can’t

Donna? doesn’t count. she might love her family but when push comes to shove she was willing to die with the Doctor-or more accurately for who she became with the Doctor, than to live her life with them.

Rose? don’t make me laugh. she loves her mother to death, but not enough to choose her first.

Jack? no family to speak of at that point, but look how fast he leaves his friends at the very hint of the Doctor coming back into his life. yes, he has his immortality based reasons but there’s nothing about their scenes that doesn’t scream emotional.

Amy and Rory? i can count on one hand how many times the topic of relatives has come up for Amy and it still leaves me a finger left over for Rory. despite magically getting her parents back in her life she seems awfully unconcerned with their general existence. 

i’m also not entirely sure Rory has parents-or even connections, beyond his dad. he might have just sprung up in a field somewhere, and we’d never know. hey, maybe Amy wished him into existence a bit earlier than we all thought.

Clara? i’m almost certain she has parents. almost. like, she had an entire holiday dinner?? i’m pretty sure she mentioned her dad at some point?? but beyond the meet cute of how her parents got together, zilch. nada. she might as well have been an orphan.

Bill? okay she was actually an orphan but i don’t think she actually mentioned or contacted her foster mother after she moved out. not sure this counts tho. the Doctor was dading too hard to say she had no parents.

i admit the newest companions kind of break the mold but I still say it counts since the only familial connection Ryan and Graham try to maintain to between each other and while Yaz might be close to her family her life with the Doctor seems to be taking priority over both her career and how much she spends time connecting with her family.

honestly the only one that even comes close to subverting the pattern is Mickey and the only reason he doesn’t properly is because he didn’t have any living family before going to Pete’s world.

but even in the beginning Martha spends time actively maintaining her relationships with her family members. again, in her first episode we see her playing mediator for her family, and going on we see her doing her best to support her sister, be a good daughter to her mother, and keep her family connected through sheer will power at times. sure, the other companions have shown the appropriate concern when there’s threat to their loved ones lives, but Martha again subverts the mold when it becomes clear that she’s not willing to let them go. 

so, back to responsibility. 

you tie this with her morals and you get the result of a doctor that gives her last breaths to keep another person alive. 

you tie this with her dedication and you get the kind of person who will walk to the ends of the earth if she deems the cause good enough. 

and finally, if you tie this with her emotional connections, you have the kind of person that takes the hard, messy work of tying together a somewhat dysfunctional family with her bare hands.

so now we’ve reached a strong sense of self worth: this i think is present in all of her decisions in the show. like, her entire story arc as a companion was ended on the note that she discovered her self worth and that she shouldn’t made to be feeling like she’s second fiddle. but, again, i feel like this is shown clearly throughout her story line even if she didn’t consciously recognize it. 

the most obvious example i see on this kind of contrasts with the above one, and it is that Martha leaves. She chooses to go with the Doctor and see what’s out there. It’s not a decision her mother and perhaps the rest of her family would or does approve of and she still makes it.

she also, having taken the not so metaphorical leap of faith, chooses to pursue the Doctor romantically. that is something that i did not appreciate as a kid but respect the hell out of now. the sheer self confidence that it takes to not only approach your crush but pick yourself up after they don’t notice time and time again is absolutely incredible. we stan an absolute legend.

but back to my point, it would’ve been incredibly easy for Martha’s character to have been introduced as the stereotype of one of those people who go into medschool due to parental pressure. it could’ve even been supported by her background with her family and future character arc of discovering her worth.  but all those assertions evaporate the second she comes on screen. 

Why? Self worth. 

The concept that Martha could be pressured into her path in life is laughable. She perused medicine because she wanted to. It’s her passion. She didn’t have to say it out loud to be clear in her actions. 

Her family’s wants and opinions might have some weight because she respects them, but ultimately she doesn’t need their approval to make herself happy. Her teachers, peers and assumed friends at her school also had the same affect. 

Martha Jones went with the Doctor because she wanted to, and she stayed because she wanted to as well. Her choices are made to be the most fulfilling to herself. Yes, they are motivated by her responsibilities and dedication to see them through, but that is it-motivated. She does not need to live up to to the things people need from her to have fulfillment. 

See the choices she made after she left the Doctor if you want any indication. She enlisted in UNIT because she realized she could do more for the world than just be a doctor, and she decided she wanted to. She got into and out of an engagement because she was in touch with what made her happy and what didn’t. The choices she made during her time with UNIT were ones that she made not because the Doctor would approve-since she knew he wouldn’t, but were ones she reasoned were the best options forward. 

And finally, when Martha decided after the near end she didn’t want to be with UNIT anymore, she left and went to find something that she wanted to do more. 

i once read an excellent post that made the point that unlike other companions, Martha Jones never needed the Doctor, and it was absolutely right. In the end of the day, Martha Jones never needed anything but her own to hands to go and make the world a better place.

And you know what? At that, she is good. 

[majicmarker]

why did you dislike 'the hating game?' (haven't read it; i'm just curious)

AAAUURGGHH okay. OKAY. it’s been a hot minute since i read it, so i’m going off strictly memory here — i am thinking of doing a reread, for the record, but chances are high that’s just going to remind me of/reinforce my initial bad impressions — BUT — 

(oh god, this became an essay so fast, but to be fair to myself i’m coming off a depressive episode and almost everything in this world pisses me off, so this is just where we’re at. and, yeah, i’m really picking this shit apart, no doubt, but I've always owned up to being an enormously picky reader, so we’re off to the races here, i said what i said, etc., etc, ad nauseam) 

you know what, i’m gonna preface this with the One Thing I remember above all else about this book. i am 100% sure this wasn’t the intention but, oh my god, the one thing i will always remember is how lucy (the heroine) refers to one of her superiors as “Fat Little Dick.” dude’s actual name is richard, he’s short and annoying, blah blah. this is supposed to be funny, and i — much as i’m a fan of vulgar humor, lord, i’ll tell you about my favorite shows and movies sometime — find it so incredibly off-putting, that it’s the first thing I think of whenever i see this book mentioned. the immaturity of the nickname doesn’t bother me so much but it’s like, the fact that it’s meant to be clever that irks me. it’s just... gross, to me. this is really individualistic, but i can’t talk about this book without bringing this up because, for me, it set the whole tone for what i was about to read. this is the humor of the whole book, it falls cringingly flat to me, and that means a lot when it comes to a romantic comedy. 

in that vein... look, there is seldom an occasion in which i enjoy first person. this is completely a personal preference, so it’s not a point i hold against this book in particular, but i just... i really gave this book a shot, despite being immediately turned off by the style. first person runs rampant in romance and like, that’s fine, i do have a couple i enjoy and, anyway, it’s not a dealbreaker for me and overall it doesn’t actually speak to the quality of the work. like i said, total personal preference — but. but. it depends on how you write it, and i just didn’t see the merit of it here. I think we would have benefitted from dual pov, even if both sides were written in first person. 

a nitpick, perhaps! and tbh this particular detail might be suited to a larger discussion of narrative structure dependent on genre, but! in this case i just don’t like it and we can go from there. 

MOVING ON. 

lucy has no friends. what the fuck is that? she’s twenty-something and, as far as her character reads, quite sociable. even if she was some awkward mess (like, hey, me too, y’all should’ve seen me in my twenties), she’d probably still have, like, one person she could confide in, and yet... nada. (this is what i recall, anyway. as i said, it’s been at least a year since i tried this book out, so maybe i’m forgetting someone, but from what i remember, this fact stood out to me almost as plainly, painfully, as the “Fat Little Dick” gag.) i’m pretty sure all she has in this world is her job, her weird crush on josh, and her smurfs collection. also, she’s short. that’s cool, but it’s not a personality, and any which way i don’t need to be reminded of it every page. 

on a broader scale, i, personally, find lucy and josh both profoundly unlikeable. lucy is irritating and, if she were a friend of mine, i’d tell her to her face that she needs to get her shit together because this is ridiculous. and josh is just, an asshole? imo. he’s every other guy i’ve met at a bar who pretends he’s really into his personal development but at the same time he won’t go to a therapist. so, like, what’s the point? he’s dull at best, and i’m not surprised robbie amell’s been cast for the film adaptation (last i knew of, that is). and the thing is, like, in romance, the characters need to be likeable. you’re rooting for their personal lives; there is no “greater good” or whatever else at play here. all i care about are these people and, in this case… i can’t deal with them. if this was YA, absolutely, yes, i’m here for it. but, again, these characters are whole-ass adults. i don’t necessarily expect your life to be together at this point — mine certainly isn’t — but have some self-awareness, for the love of god. 

ON THAT NOTE, the book’s focus is on these twenty-something romantic leads, but it reads so juvenile. meg cabot’s high school romances have more self-awareness and depth than these career-oriented Adults. don’t get me wrong — i’m all for relatable, for insecure, for the identity struggles that really shape your twenties, because oh my god, do I Get That, but this was just all so… god, it reminds me of the stuff i’d write in junior high. it’s like what i imagined it was gonna be like to be a grown-up. this is probably personal preference all over again, but it doesn’t read authentic to me. it’s shallow, and sexual without being really, actually emotional. i’m seeing the lust, but i’m being force-fed the love. 

and, before i drop without precedent the whole “career-oriented” thing that the plot itself seems to have done — the professional, essential, conflict is never resolved. spoiler alert, i guess, but the conflict hinges on the love interests being up for the same promotion, but we end the book with the male lead quitting and taking a job elsewhere — so his career is stable, right, but the job that’s been waiting in the wings this whole time? your guess is as good as mine as to who gets it. much as i disliked this whole Thing, by the end i still hoped lucy would be offered some professional satisfaction, but we never actually find out.

and, listen, i don’t remember any of the sex scenes. i know they’re in there, but i have zero recollection because they’re boring. gratuitous, maybe, but that’s only if you believe some of the book’s naysayers. i guess i’m a naysayer, too, but it’s not because the sex stuff made me take up a confessional booth for ten minutes (no shame, i’m just saying, from experience, most priests don’t care if you read erotica, okay, they’ve heard it before and frankly they just wanna go home because it’s ten A.M. on a saturday and already they could use a shot of jack in their coffee), 

but if y’all know me, you know i love a good sex scene. what i’m getting at here is that, like, these ones just slid off my radar like melted butter. not good melted butter, either. (this is a bad metaphor, maybe. but the point is that i don’t remember them and i don’t even care.)

i guess, on the whole, the tone here doesn’t land for me. it’s just not real, it feels so forced, so wannabe funny and edgy and relatable, but none of those hit quite right. when i first read it, i recall thinking sometimes that “alright, this isn’t bad,” but then i had to deal with “Fat Little Dick” again, or i was constantly reminded of other things — lucy is short, josh is hot, they hate each other, no scenery is described in a way that i can actually picture it, yadda yadda — or else i was subject to quite a bit of body-shaming. that shit was casually sprinkled all over the place, which was both irrelevant to the story, to the characters, and it was just obnoxious. this sort of casual bigotry happens in romance all the time and, like, i’m over it, so i’m gonna point it out every time i try something new and it crops up. 

when this book was rec’d to me, when i saw all the accolades, i thought i was in for some new, fresh, revolutionary read — but then it wasn’t actually… anything. “sometimes it was sort of funny” is the best thing i can say about it, and that’s the best thing i can usually say about most other romances i’ve tried in the last couple years, so i’m not seeing the distinction here, i don't see anything special. i legitimately do not know why this book in particular is so popular. like, there are romances out there that i Hate, poetically, with the fire of a thousand suns, but at the same time i understand why they hit the bestseller list (yet another Discussion all on its own). but this one? i’ve got nothing. 

i’m tentatively considering doing a reread. as i mentioned earlier, but this is probably only going to reinforce everything i don’t like about it, which means eventually i could perhaps give you a more comprehensive answer as to why i so thoroughly Did Not enjoy this book. but, like, who even wants to read that shit? ireally don’t mean to be an asshole about this, but I Don’t Get It, and some of it legitimately pissed me off (the body-shaming, lucy having no friends, both of which are entire Essays onto themselves) — and it’s that second thing i’m not gonna apologize for. in case anyone wanted an apology, but… too bad. 

anyway, in the meantime, i hope this answers your question well enough. it’s actually probably Too Much. but i’m bored and lonely, so i’m gonna go off like a firework best i can, whoops. 

[kristen-lockhart-blog]

Book Review of “(Im)Proper Nouns” by Donna Sparrowhawk

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Kristen Lockhart (Im)Proper Nouns By Donna Sparrowhawk Book Review

In the collection of poems, (Im)Proper Nouns, poet Donna Sparrowhawk utilizes an effortless flow and rhythm within and between her poems. Some of my favorite literary tools she uses throughout her poems are imagery and metaphors. Her collection is split into three sections, that are the nouns persons, places, and things. The poems within each section complement each other nicely as well as the three sections to form the whole collection. Sparrowhawk’s themes and imagery gives insight to a well-rounded and fulfilling life so far as well as holds hope for a fulfilling life to come. In the section titled Persons, Sparrowhawk has an array of poems, some dedicated to someone by use of their name, others with a more metaphorical title. The poem “Even Now I Listen,” is a pretty straight forward poem about the speaker’s dad. I really appreciate the glimpse into the speaker’s relationship with her father growing up. She hones in on the relationship between her and her father through her diction and metaphors.

“I know what tone you would use Soft, sliding your words under The door of my pain-induced silence.” I like the imagery that this stanza creates. I imagine a teenage daughter distraught and not wanting to talk to anyone, but her dad is the one who can truly reach her in these times. As if gently whispering through the crack of her door or sliding a letter with some heartbreak advice on it. In the last stanza, the speaker is reminiscing on times when her father could give her advice in person.

“Would you lift your eyes to mine and gently with your Fatherly tenderness, sweep the hair fallen in my eyes Remind me

To lessen fear…love more.”

She is admittedly fearful and doubtful of something throughout this poem. Perhaps, felt she was not ready to take on some things in her life without her father always being right there with her. All she has is these memories and can only imagine the advice that her father could give her now. Because of the vulnerability, I feel like this poem is a lovely and intimate glimpse into the speaker and maybe even the poet’s life. Moreover, in the poem “Not Quite a Sonnet for Susan on Her Sixtieth Birthday,” Sparrowhawk has a very compelling free form as well as great diction to portray the speaker’s feelings towards “Susan.” The poet reflects on her own use of form in which she originally intended a sonnet that actually became a free form poem.

“I tried to write you a sonnet for your birthday… abab cdcd efef gg but the fact of the matter is you are definitely free verse and otherwise and wise.”

She admittedly switches gears from a sonnet form to a free form. Moreover, I like the analogy of comparing her friend, Susan, to a free form poem herself. As well as the wordplay in “…you are definitely free, verse and otherwise, and wise.” Moreover, she utilizes lots of little comments inside of parentheses throughout the poem.

“extraordinarily fun deliciously irreverent outlandishly chi-ful (and I love it that you know what that means)”

The use of her parenthetical inserts creates more intimacy between her and the friend receiving this gift. She adds some fun, witty inside jokes and personality. And the way she describes Susan; the words she uses, “extraordinary, deliciously irreverent.” She is describing a deep admiration of everything that makes Susan the way she is. While keeping few elements of a sonnet throughout the piece, the author iterates that her Susan cannot be described in any one form. She reminisces on the first time they met recalls specific details with her imagery and describes the instant connection the friends had. I love the final line of the poem, comparing Susan to a child, having the same whimsy and wonder as a newly Sixty year old woman. And ending the poem on an ellipse as to say that her and Susan’s friendship and story is far from over. Much like in the poem about her father, the speaker creates an intimacy between not only her and the person the poem is dedicated to, but also her and the reader. She does so through the use of parentheses, her imagery in describing her memories, and her witty metaphors. The first poem in the “Places” section of the book is one of my favorites called, “Musings on a Train.” I find the setting of this poem so refreshing. She truly captures what it is to feel like you are in the story itself with this poem. “I glance out as sheep newly shorn And young, bolt as the train Whistles, and the old ewes lazily graze, Ignoring the fray.”

I am fortunate to have ridden on a train in England as well, especially as someone who lives in Florida with very few, if any, passenger trains. This poem describes to calm whimsy of riding on a train traveling past hills and grassy fields. A quite relatable stanza in this piece, is as follows:

“I doze in strange comfortable discomfort Drifting in and out, nestled against my Ferdinand’s Jacket, crumpled on the table under my head.”

Though, not all readers might have had the experience of riding a train, the images she creates can certainly come to life in the reader’s imagination. I particularly love the phrase, “comfortable discomfort,” to describe falling asleep on a train. Again, maybe not all readers would know this as exactly as described, but I feel like the sensation of trying to fall asleep on a bus or car even, can be a strangely calming scenario in a not quite so comfortable vessel. Especially if you are riding in said vehicle with a loved one. The scene described in this poem is that of a comfortable, daily event that is intimate between the speaker and a loved one. Sparrowhawk’s imagery allows the readers a glimpse into the speaker’s life because of her descriptions of this sweet life. Another one of my absolute favorite pieces is “Ballad of Equeurdreville.” Sparrowhawk’s effortless rhyme scheme creates a hilariously witty and whimsical story in this poem. I love how while reading this poem the reader gets a scene laid out in front of them of this funny banter between a traveling couple.

“My, what a pleasant urban walk! said he As she dodged the biker […] I’m sure my mate said repast was just beyond this hill A lovely place for dinner, in lovely Equeurdreville.

Why, yes, my love! cooed she to he Somewhat loudly over the roar of the passing lorry.”

From the very first line, the setting is being described as “urban” and disruptive with the biker needing to be dodged, as well as the “roar of the passing lorry.” Yet, the positive attitudes of this couple is already creating a humorous build up.

“I fear a restaurant I will never see, said he. Her reply reassuringly whispered, perhaps more a shrill— Do you think we’ll ever bloody find this Equeurdreville?”

“[…] I dare say one can look from here to eternity, said he. But no sign, no hope of food, nor drink—no, nada, nil In this, this, uh…lovely…Equeurdreville.”

The couple have a shift in attitude the longer it takes for them to find this restaurant. I particularly love the last line of that stanza; it makes it seem like a sassy narrator is reading this poem aloud to the reader. “Oh my, said she. Oh my, indeed, said he As they walked and pondered what was the key Don’t know, said she, but make out a Will Next time you suggest to me Equeurdreville!”

The final stanza after the couple had finished their long awaited meal in Equeurdreville, we get the final round of witty commentary. The poem ends on a silly joke as well, adding to the fun nature of the rest of the poem. This poem reminded me of the whimsical ways of rhyming of Dr. Seuss. This poem is different from the other poems in the collection due to its playful theme. Yet it still holds the particular style especially when it comes to Sparrowhawk’s romantic diction and intimacy between characters. The contrast in playfulness from this poem compared to more mature themes in other poems, as well as her consistent rhyming scheme shows how talented and versatile Sparrowhawk is with her writing. Finally, in the section “Things,” there is a poem entitled, “Twilight,” that has just more of that calming scenery that Sparrowhawk paints.

“It’s that time of day again… The light, in its fade Softens… Well, softens Everything.”

This opening stanza creates such a lovely setting with just a few simple phrases, which is magical. I also love the third stanza continues with this serene imagery and the fourth begins to introduce another theme into this poem.

“I wonder if the fox Will make his appearance tonight Now that you, Not I, Are absent.

“I’ve missed you today I should have been with you today, But, painfully I really couldn’t Because we You and I Know how to love.” The speaker is describing beautiful scenery yet is lonely or missing her loved one. Yet, I gather this is the type of missing someone when they are just out for the day, perhaps at work.

“I know you are on your Way back to me now.

Warm soup is waiting And music, and me,

The words can wait.”

The lines of her poetry feel comfortable and familiar. Sparrowhawk has been able to take sorrow in her poems such as this one and spin it around into hope. This entire collection of poems by Donna Sparrowhawk reflects on a life filled with beauty and love for these persons, places, and things. She uses wonderous imagery and metaphors to describe these loved ones and locations in such intimate detail. The warmth, wit and charm in her words are the ties that carry over and connect all her poems in this collection, (Im)Proper Nouns.

[dork-empress]

Hive Minds Vs. The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals

So I’ve been increasingly loving Starkids’ latest musical “The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals” I’ve seen all their musicals that are on youtube, and I’m a bit hit or miss with them. Overall I think they have improved with time, so if the only one you’ve seen is “A Very Potter Musical” go check out some of their other musicals, but first check The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals. 

The Premise is Aliens have landed on Earth and are slowly infecting people’s minds, taking over their bodies to be part of elaborately choreographed musical numbers. It has a Zombie Apocalypse sort of feel to it, following Paul (a guy who, you may have guessed, doesn’t like musicals) and his friends as they attempt to escape the alien spores. 

What I love about it is the Hive Mind presented in the story, and I’m fascinated about how it works. From what I can tell, the aliens take over a person, and have them express their feelings, unwillingly, through song and dance. It IS the original person’s feelings, though. So theres a question of balance, is the alien a single mind, as it were, reading the memories of the drones and then making them recite them? Or do the drones have some semblance of themselves hidden in the hive?

There are two real thoughts to hive minds. First and most well known is the Borg. 

The borg evolved through the series’s, but I’m going to go based off their Initial introduction. No Hugh, no Queen, no spheres, nada. The borg are not a species, they are a force, like a storm. There is no reasoning with them because there’s nothing to reason with. Every drone you see is just one part in a grand machinery. Essentially what’s happening is, there are so many minds that the individual mind gets drowned out into the one thing all life forms are built for: Expansion. Procreation. Because thats essentially what assimilation is, isn’t it? making more of itself. 

The other is the Braniac/Ultron version. Neither of those are thought of as a hive mind, because, well, they’re not. They’re a single mind, just put into different bodies. If even one piece of Braniac is maintained it can rebuild, because its all just a bunch of minds working together simultaneously. Read Ancillary Justice if you’d like to see an interesting version of this, where the minds have to deal with stupid realistic things like, communication over great distances. Anyway, Braniac and Ultron have a similar goal as the borg: Expand, make more of itself, absorb information. 

Now, the meteor in TGWDLM is considered to be kind of like Braniac. It came crashing down, spread its spores, and is now controlling them through the central hub. Professor Hidgens describes it as: On one level, they are individuals, but on another they are all appendages of a much larger organism all connected by a central brain.

He and Emma theorize that if they destroy the meteor, they’ll make the drones fall Night King style (Game of Thrones joke)

So Paul attempts it and, spoilers, blows up the meteor. But it doesn’t work!

We don’t see what happened after the bomb went off, so here is what we know. Emma got off the island. Paul got infected. Paul and several other infected souls also got off, to infect the hospital Emma was staying at, before or after Paul is revealed to Emma is unclear. 

Emma talks with a couple of people before Paul is revealed. One of them is clearly infected later, but the other isn’t seen again. I am going under the assumption she is also infected. The infected have shown they’re CAPABLE of speech, it’s just usually in sync

So why would they try to hide it from Emma by speaking? Because this hive mind has the one thing no other hive mind has. 

Several times the hive is foiled in its attempt to expand and take over because it/they were so busy with their dance number, they didn’t get the chance to assimilate. Paul is especially immune to this given, well, he doesn’t like musicals. This is why the Hive takes such an interest in him. 

Compare with Charlotte. She, Bill and Ted (and their excellent adventure...sorry) only realized something was up watching people come and go out of their bosses office singing. They didn’t get the full presentation themselves, like Paul did. When Charlotte does get serenaded by her infected/dead husband, she argues, but is eventually pulled in and killed, then infected herself. We don’t know if Emma would have been taken, she only avoided it by not drinking the coffee at her work, but it was Paul who told her to run. Paul isn’t intrigued by the Hive’s musical shenanigans, not for a minute, which gives him power, and makes him the Hive’s worst enemy.

The hive wants more than to just expand and conquer, though thats certainly part of it. The hive wants to expand so it can Put on its show.

Theater kids, amirite?

The idea of not liking your individuality taken is reasonable, but not liking MUSICALS? Heresy! thats what makes Paul special to it, and what makes this hive special in the grand schematic. 

I wanna talk about 2 moments. Moment one is the One That Broke My Heart.

So, here’s your trivia question of the day: is this Alice? Or the hive? 

The key of musicals is taking peoples thoughts and emotions and expressing them for the audience in song, steps, metaphors. Characters can have secrets from each other, but not from the audience, in song. 

There are several theories here. 1) Alice is clutching her head just before this verse, so perhaps a little bit of the real her is breaking through the hive, singing this song. I find this one unlikely.

2) The hive has absorbed Alice’s memories and has turned it into a theatrical heart breaking production.

3) The hive has absorbed Alice’s memories and is singing a song it knows will enthrall Bill, leading him to his suicide, which he only doesn’t go through with because Paul stops him. This is supported by the song “untie me now” where Charlotte’s husband sings what he needs to in order to enthrall and infect her. 

4) human emotions have infected the hive and now its feeling pain and love and all sorts of things. 

That last one is most interesting to me, though #3 is most likely. One way or another the Hive is a Dramatic Bitch and I Love Them. 

But how much individuality is maintained. In Paul’s words “Is this me? Or is this you?” 

Paul is such a unique main character. I'm a script writer and reader and let me tell you, the main thing you want for a protagonist is a motivation. A goal, a stake, something. Something to show how the story will progress. 

We don’t get a whole lot of that from Paul. Sure, he likes the Barista and flirts with her, but he doesn’t exactly do a lot to pursue her. Even at the dramatic conclusion, he is disgusted enough by her blood vomit to just Nope out of there.

He’s a normal guy. He likes black coffee, money from his job, not to be harassed by green peace. He’s not Bill, whos trying to get his daughter back. He’s not Charlotte, who’s trying to make her marriage work. He’s not Emma, trying to grow a pot farm in her sister’s memory. Everyone AROUND Paul has great motivations and stories, but not him. Not until he’s just a little infected by spores. 

He’s a main character finally. He fits into the Hive Minds narrative. He wants something (to be happy). But is this him? Or is this the hive just working through him? And if so, for whom? Is Paul still in there, watching himself come to this realization? Is this even his real feelings, or is this what the Hive is projecting through him, trying to convince him to join in on they’re/it’s fun?

Keep in mind, everyone else that we’ve seen has been dead when they were infected (that we know of.) So this song sung BY Paul is FOR Paul. And it ultimately doesn’t matter because Paul blows the thing up. And then....

Presumably, Paul died in the explosion. And, while its possible he was just unsuccessful in destroying the meteor, I find it more likely that Hidgins and Emma were wrong. The spores are more like Braniac, they carry on without a central hub. 

But how much choice is brought into becoming a drone of The Hive. Did Paul eventually side with the Hive? Probably not, but thats what he sings to try and convince/serenade Emma. 

So, what do we know about the Hive?

The hive came down in a meteor. I presume that it killed many people, but no one knew because they got up immediately after. This certainly includes Sam and Zoe, possibly Deb, Paul’s boss, and Greenpeace girl. 

The infected went in relative disguise, trying to sucker people in with musical numbers. Most people probably assumed it was a flash mob and were entertained long enough to be killed and infected, except for Paul who noped the fuck out. 

Once revealed, their songs were to get you to do what they want, follow police, untie person, etc. 

They have a strong sense of narrative. They like love stories, strong motivations. This is why Paul drove them nuts, and they took a special interest in him, making him the main character. 

They use people as puppets, getting them to do choreography, play out stories, etc. because....that just be how writers are my dude. They use the real emotions of the people they inhabit to take other people. The audience is their next supposed victim. 

They want to conquer, but not for the sake of conquering, maybe its for the sake of exploring these interesting narratives. Resistance isn’t futile. But the Apotheosis is Inevitable. 

[scalesoff]

They Live and the Toxic Hubris of the Newly Woke

They Live is a movie I’ve watched habitually since childhood, and at 37 I still stumble over new ways that Carpenter and his co-creators were masterfully playing with genre and metaphor to sneakily (obvious to those with the glasses tho) tear at capitalism from the inside. I used to think it was hard to slip a message into a mainstream movie. Now I think every movie has a message, you just need the right glasses to see it.

I started this tumblr because I saw The Smiling Lieutenant and couldn’t reconcile the enjoyment i got from the film with the horrible feelings it was stirring up in me. I have a lot of regret and about how I’ve treated intimate partners in the past, and I saw myself in an ugly character who treated women as disposable objects. I felt the literal need to confront myself and my actions and really face them. They Live is an amazing allegory for a major political or spiritual awakening, something that most people have experienced. It’s a critique of capitalism, yes, but go a little deeper and it’s also a warning not to let the heady rush of enlightenment blind you to how you treat people and the consequences of your actions.

Nada is the newly woke guy on twitter who a few years ago may have been on the other side of an argument, but now hes raging at trump all day because things got so bad something finally really affected him, or a friend, etc. and he had a revelation. He’s probably angrier at himself for not seeing it before than he is at the current dupes, and it is an dangerous mix of hubris and empowerment. He instantly starts acting like a superhero because he thinks he’s the first one to ever figure it out, and he doesn’t understand the full gravity of what he faces, or that maybe blasting peons isn’t doing shit. Nada is not a “man with no name” type just because Carpenter loves western tropes, he’s also an everyman type with no past because carpenter knows this is a universal experience.

So when I’m on twitter and I see some ridiculous asshole who is either in on the con and using the system, or collaborator/dupe waving their privilege around, I feel the rage. “These people clearly are evil and they must be stopped! Why can’t anyone else but me see?!” but I try to remember, “wearing these glasses gets you high.” I try not to make important decisions or have serious arguments when my mind is altered, and now I stay off twitter because I’m too high on my own political awakening to see that it’s not productive (esp. for me) or helpful for others. Just because I now see things as black and white (get it? Carpenter is a genius) - they aren’t. In the real world the monsters are a lot better at passing, and in my moments of false clarity and hubris I’ve forgotten to treat my own friends and family like people deserving of respect. Real change comes from empathy and understanding, not reactionary anger. I’m not equivocating or excusing any of the nightmare shit world we inhabit - evil deserves to be destroyed, hated, ostracized, etc. and if making a politician or capitalists life a living hell is something that appeals to you it’s probably a good idea in my opinion.

But I no longer look up to Nada as an example of a healthy response to this world. I no longer assume that because a character is the protagonist, the film is endorsing their actions or that it is some kind of template to follow. Nada’s failings are mine as well, and ultimately he dies trying to change something that never will. As soon as the resistance meeting is stormed the movie goes full fantasy and the rest is some owl creek bridge shit (spoiler alert for the classic short story an occurrence at owl creek bridge) IMO, but that’s just how I choose to read it. My other interpretation is even more depressing (which means it’s definitely the more “realistic” ending: he did succeed in destroying the transmitter, everyone noticed the aliens, and nothing changed.

Save the Green Planet attacks the exact same concept, but this time head on.  We don’t know if the protagonist is “right” or not. In this case, asking if the aliens are “real” or not is like asking someone to explain the joke - I see it as a reminder to question myself whenever my hubris/anger at this shit planet makes me start questioning the humanity of another person. There are real monsters out there, but they are still human beings and their evil comes from the same place as mine. “Othering” anyone is not only hurting them, its self destruction. To quote another Carpenter character “Welcome to the human race.”

[chpinthestacks]

In The Stacks with Su Hwang: Muses

Poet Su Hwang was awarded a 2017 In The Stacks residency at Dickinson House, a space for writers and artists in East Flanders, Belgium. Over the next several weeks, she’ll share stories and photos from her time in residence. This is her fourth dispatch from Dickinson House.

Every creative friend who’s been at a residency over the years has said that group chemistry can make or break a residency experience, even with all the fixings and prestige up the wazoo. It’s essentially online dating for artists and writers to form fruitful communities, but what are the chances/algorithm of a perfect match? This means some group dynamics can be pretty awful––from annoying to awkward to atomic. Some can leave you feeling absolutely nothing, nada, and sometimes, that’s even worse. Then there’s the fairy tale, the stuff of fiction: something that can take your breath away. With larger residencies, you can sidestep cliquey baloney by disappearing into a work-wormhole or letting your introvert flag fly really high (both tactics at my disposal), but at Dickinson House or other intimate, personal residencies with only three of you or less, it’s really luck of the draw, or rather, flip of a Flemish coin. And because of these odds, I’m grateful for the serendipitous outcome of having Asiya and Arra share this amazing experience with me. It was truly poet-love at first sight.

It’s like we read each other’s minds from the moment we first arrived in East Flanders. Conversation was easy and natural––unpacking could wait. That said, we immediately respected each other’s need for solitude to think, rest, and get our work done during the day (in whatever capacity) yet each night we lingered after dinner over a bottle of wine to chat about the poetry of H.D. or Edna St. Vincent Millay with Eireann, the wonders and perils of love, or the state of our messed up world. We took bike rides to nearby villages for supplies which also included detours for cold Belgian brews, or a daytrip to the delightful city of Ghent where they were such great sports about letting me make them stand in front of random doorways and pose for pictures, etc., etc. These are independent, passionate, driven women we’re talking about!

Asiya’s debut collection

crosslight for youngbird

 will be published by Nightboat Press early next year. Originally from Washington DC, she is currently based in Brooklyn, NY but also has roots in the Bay Area. A Stanford and UC Berkeley grad with a Masters in Urban Planning, Asiya came to poetry “late” like me, but has bloomed like nothing/no one else. She received a prestigious grant from the Lower Manhattan Cultural Council and is one of a select few writers awarded a studio on Governor’s Island this year. She has always been a voracious reader and is one of those naturally gifted people in whatever she puts her mind to, having traveled to Europe and Africa for past humanitarian projects, and is you know, training for some big race, among a million other worthwhile things. And of course, she happens to be the raddest, sweetest, coolest human on earth. She is currently writing about bodies of water as metaphor for the heartbreaking refugee crisis gripping Europe, Africa, and the Middle East, and is hoping to work with a forensic scientist based in Milan who is attempting to identify the remains of those found in the water. Asiya’s sparkling mind and generous spirit struck me right away, and the more time I spent with her, the more in awe I became. She is a fearless, spectacular poet, and there isn’t anything Asiya can’t master.

Arra’s beautiful first book Seedlip and Sweet Apple was published by Milkweed Editions, which involved extensive research and gorgeous leaps of the imagination. I’ve come to really admire her precision of language and powerful images. Arra is currently juggling several ambitious projects while she balances teaching a full load of creative writing classes at Saginaw Valley State University in central Michigan. She organizes the Voices in the Valley Reading Series (that has brought writers like Poet Laureate Tracy K. Smith), and tends to her fixer upper home and gardens with her husband, nine-year-old son, a new puppy named Warrior and two cats. Arra, who has a PhD from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, is a Minnesota native and still has familial ties to my adopted home state. A bit shy at the outset, it didn’t take long for Arra to come out of her shell, and oh what an inner life! Her compassion with her stark honesty about herself and the world around her is something I value and respect so much. Not only that, she is truly a gifted poet. While at Dickinson House, she completed her longstanding project in which she studied the very specific and complex form in John Berryman’s seminal long poem, “Homage to Mistress Bradstreet.” This project about the very real highs and very real lows of motherhood ends with 99 eight-line stanzas (that’s 792 lines, and Berryman only got to 59!). Simply mind-blowing!

I can write a novel about Asiya and Arra, but I’m bound to a certain word count here, so I’ll just add links to their fellowship proposals for Dickinson house and you can find out more about how awesome they are! We came hungry for adventure, openness, time to work on our writing, and fun! We left with meaningful friendships. Asiya Wadud and Arra Lynn Ross––remember these names––I’ll never forget them. (I hope to have them come to the Twin Cities in the fall for a reading/panel discussion, stay tuned!)

http://dickinsonhouse.be/possibility/meet-our-2017-fellows-asiya-wadud/

http://dickinsonhouse.be/possibility/meet-our-2017-fellows-arra-lynn-ross/

Su Hwang received her MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Minnesota in May 2016 and was a 2016-17 recipient of the Loft Literary Center’s Minnesota Emerging Writer Grant. Born in Seoul, South Korea, she grew up in New York then moved to San Francisco before transplanting to the Twin Cities. Her poems have appeared or are forthcoming in Ninth Letter, Drunken Boat, Tinderbox Poetry Journal, Prairie Gold: An Anthology of the American Heartland, and Poets.org.