#I only write in English for uni assignments or conferences

[clau1r9i]

The Development of Elias in TAMB: (Long ver)

(Hii again, some people have asked me to upload the original version of the previous post I made so here it is :D

Since it is very long, I tried to divide it into several sections to make it much easier.

Anyway, if you think it's too much, simply read the post just before this)

Childhood, Attachment, and Parental Negligence

Although his story does not unfold in the traditional way one might expect for a human being, his "childhood" and development are deeply marked by the experiences and figures he encountered throughout his life. By exploring the dynamics between Elias, Lindel, and Rahab, we can observe how these relationships have influenced his identity, personality, and behavior.

Rahab and Lindel: An Unconventional Family Dynamic

To better understand Elias's "childhood," it's necessary first to analyze the relationship between Rahab and Lindel. Rahab, a powerful sorceress, finds Lindel when he is still a child. She raises him and gives him his name, but as Lindel grows, something crucial happens: a traditional parent-child bond does not form between them. Although Rahab cares for Lindel and teaches him magic, he does not come to see her as a mother in the emotional sense. This is not uncommon in adoptive families, especially when a child is taken in at an age where they already have memories of their previous life. In such cases, children often fail to see their caregivers as parents, and it seems this is exactly what happens between Rahab and Lindel.

Lindel grows up appreciating Rahab for what she has done for him but without the desire to maintain a close or dependent relationship. This dynamic is important because it reflects the way Lindel later interacts with Elias, who eventually becomes his adopted "son."

Meeting Elias: The Beginning of a New Life

When Lindel first encounters Elias, he is unconscious on the ground, with no memory of his past. At this point, Elias is like a blank slate, a being just beginning to become aware of himself. His ignorance of the world around him and his lack of identity make him vulnerable and dependent on those who care for him. It is at this moment that Elias can be said to "be born" again, not in a physical sense, but in terms of mental and emotional development.

One of the most intriguing details is how Elias, upon being taken by Lindel to Rahab's cabin, significantly reduces his size. Some have interpreted this change in form as a sign that Elias had committed heinous acts, such as devouring human children. However, an alternative interpretation could be that his reduction in size symbolizes his current state: a creature that knows nothing, almost like a newborn child. This physical change could be a manifestation of his lack of knowledge and experience, reflecting his vulnerability.

Lindel as a Father Figure: The Neglect in Raising Elias

Despite Lindel's initial reluctance, Rahab convinces him to care for Elias, hoping that this will force him to relate to another being and come out of his isolation. However, this decision proves problematic. Lindel did not want to take care of Elias from the beginning and only accepts because he feels guilty about leaving him alone. This unwillingness to assume the role of a father has significant consequences for Elias's development.

From the moment Rahab names Elias and they welcome him as part of their family, they become Elias's attachment figures. Like any child, Elias begins to absorb everything Lindel teaches him and depends on him to understand the world. However, Lindel soon realizes that Elias does not behave "normally." Elias, like many characters in *TAMB*, can be interpreted as a representation of neurodivergence. His difficulties in understanding and relating to others, his perception of the world as if he experiences it in the third person, and his unusual behavior suggest that Elias is on a different cognitive spectrum.

This additional challenge aggravates the already difficult task of raising Elias, and Lindel, who never wanted to be his caregiver, begins to distance himself emotionally. He does not teach him social skills, how to manage his emotions, or even basic human skills like reading and writing. Instead, he focuses solely on teaching him magic and how to interact with the natural environment, ignoring fundamental aspects of Elias's personal development. This lack of teaching and support in crucial areas of Elias's life can be classified as parental negligence. Although Lindel does not physically abuse Elias, his lack of commitment to educating him and preparing him for the world leaves Elias with deep deficiencies that will affect him throughout his life.

Rahab as a Mother Figure: An Insufficient Effort

After parting ways with Lindel, Elias returns to Rahab seeking help. Unlike Lindel, Rahab seems more willing to care for Elias. Although she cannot leave her home due to magical restrictions, she tries to teach him what she can. Rahab realizes that Elias has difficulty understanding emotions and human relationships, but even though she tries to help him, she does not manage to meet all his emotional and social needs.

Rahab does teach him some basic skills, such as reading and writing, and provides a warmer environment than Lindel. However, she also makes the mistake of underestimating Elias's potential to develop meaningful relationships and manage his own emotions. Her belief that Elias could never have a "normal" life leads her not to provide him with all the necessary tools to face the world. This attitude, although well-intentioned, also constitutes a form of negligence. Rahab, like Lindel, leaves Elias without the emotional and social support he needs to fully develop as an individual.

The Consequences: An Adult with Insecure Attachment and Neurodivergence

The result of these upbringing experiences is that Elias grows up to be an adult with insecure attachment and severe difficulties in managing his emotions. The lack of an emotional reaction when Elias separates from Lindel suggests that Lindel was never a true attachment figure for him, and this emotional detachment repeats itself when Elias finally leaves Rahab. Although Rahab cares for him and often remembers him, the fact that Elias has learned that his attachment figures do not react when he leaves leads him to develop a distorted view of human relationships.

His insecure attachment, combined with his nature as a fae that tends to be possessive, manifests in incidents like the one with Stella, where his inability to understand and manage his emotions leads him to act inappropriately. Elias is a being deeply affected by his "childhood," marked by emotional neglect and lack of preparation for social and emotional life. Despite his curiosity about humans, his defective upbringing and neurodivergence leave him unable to form healthy and balanced relationships, at least at the beginning of the series.

Conclusion

As a result of this neglect, Elias exhibits insecure attachment, primarily manifesting as avoidant attachment, with some elements of disorganized attachment. He struggles with emotional detachment and finds it difficult to form close, meaningful relationships. His indifferent reactions to separation from his caregivers and his unpredictable emotional responses suggest a deep conflict in how he relates to others. This insecure attachment, rooted in the inconsistent and emotionally distant care he received, leaves Elias ill-prepared to manage his emotions and form healthy, stable relationships.

[memorylang]

Fathers’ Day, Familiarity and Faith | #38 | June 2020

If my COVID-19 experiences were a Netflix Original Series, I feel someone could title it, "The Groundskeeper."

Synopsis: Returned Peace Corps Volunteer from Mongolia, now back in Nevada, learns a thing or two about hedge trimming and much more about life living.

The inspirational hit series stars award-winning memoirist Daniel Lindbergh Lang, director and editor. “Please support the official release.”

Quirky thoughts keep me sane. More on these later, of course. 

The U.S. celebrated Father’s Day 2020 on June 21, so I commemorate it with reflections from being my father’s son. 

The adventures follow both my Mothers’ Day reflections (#36) and Easter in America stories (#35). I focus now on continued COVID-19 adventures in yard work, sorting and reminiscing. 

Chronologically, we pick up from my stateside Week 11 (May 15-21), when my sisters came home from their unis’ spring semesters. With them as collaborators, I continued sorting our family’s memorabilia. After a few weeks’ interlude 'round Memorial Day, big changes occurred Weeks 14 through 16 (June 5-25) through Fathers’ Day.  

I also consider Pentecost and the Spirit. Easter 2020 ended Sunday, May 31, so we’re in a fruitful new time. In fact, I write here results from the smattering of routines I shared before. 

Lastly, to clarify, many assume my dad’s Asian. But that’s untrue. He’s Austrian-American. That’s where I get my “Lang” surname. Ethnically, I’m about half Austrian. Culturally, too, Dad’s family influenced me far more than Mom’s when I grew up. My mom was ethnically full Chinese, hence that half.

Now back to Dad!

Father’s Perspective on My Boyhood 

During my 2020 time home since Peace Corps’ evacuation, Dad often prods me to take on projects he sees around the yard. So, I do yard work. I don’t like desert heat, so I usually work the daily tasks an hour or two at dawn, sometimes dusk. Picture three months this way.

But Dad would tend to demand a certain perfection on many projects, expecting me out there working when there’s work to do. I’d rather let nature do as it pleases. Peace Corps experiences taught me decorated yards generally feel overrated. When I’m older, I feel I’d much rather have my family frequent parks to get our yard fix. Nonetheless, yard work lets me chat with God, who reminds me empathize. 

It is difficult to say, "I serve the Father," if I do not serve my father. 

With this in mind, I consider the patient progress of waiting while working often. 

Dad grew up in rural America’s Midwest from the mid-20th century. Dad’s parents and community were largely Austrian-American Catholics. Dad’s grandfather immigrated with Dad’s great-grandfather because land in Austria was scarce, late-19th century, yet plentiful in Kansas. My dad grew up on a farm as a third-generation Austrian-American. He funded his higher ed. through U.S. military service and numerous side jobs, including those in teaching and sales. 

Through Dad, I’m a fourth-generation Austrian-American—though, only second-generation Chinese-American, through Mom. I wasn’t quite on a farm, having grown up between Midwestern suburbs and an urban West. Still, Dad regularly tasked siblings and I with yard work.

An Energetic Kid, Ages 4-7 

Now this gets interesting!

This mid-May 2020, my younger sister and I unearthed Christmas letters our parents (mostly Dad) had written to Dad’s siblings—my uncles and aunts—since before 2000. Turns out, our mom kept hard copies in the bins beside her desk. From these, Sister and I read pretty enjoyable pieces about our child selves. 

Here I share Dad’s tales from grade school me in Indiana (used with permission): 

2001: "Daniel is 4 years old now and is looking forward to kindergarten.  He likes outdoor activities and he is quite strong for his age.  He can do a lot of sit ups and push ups already.  He likes to walk with [his mom] at the airport, which is nearby." 

2002: "Daniel is five years old.  He is in kindergarten.  He is [...] very competitive.  He is in the same school as [his older brother] and is rapidly learning to read now.  He is good at math, and he studies very hard." 

2003: "Daniel is six years old.  He is very competitive and naughty.  He always keeps track of the books he reads and comes home to tell us how many books he has finished.  His goal is to reach 100 books this year.  He is over 90 already.  Well, he likes to pester [his brother a lot].  He thinks that is fun. [...]"

2004: "Daniel is seven.  He is goal oriented and a 'do'er.  He is good at making all kinds of crafts.  He is our family's talented teacher.  He taught [his younger sister] how to read before she went to kindergarten.  He also gives homework assignments to the others, except [his older brother].  He always pesters [his brother] as usual." 

God graced me with energy as a kid. 

I noticed three themes. For one, I seemed to follow Dad’s lead in filling my time productively. He served in the U.S. Army National Guard and emphasized self-discipline. As a civilian family practitioner, too, he advocated for daily exercises, such as sit-ups, push-ups and walking. I seemed to follow suit.

On the other hand, I was a kiddo with an older brother, and I didn’t mind expending plenty spare energy to bother him. Thankfully I stopped pestering when I grew up with enough self-awareness to know good people don’t intentionally troll. Uni helped. 

Curiously, I noticed the letters seemed to note many of my interests resembling Mom’s. Arts, reading and studying seemed more like Mom’s interests than Dad’s, yet I hadn’t realized my similarities to Mom back then. Of course, Dad values education, too.

Studious Beyond Belief, Ages 13-19

As I went through elementary school, Dad’s military service included deployments overseas to Afghanistan (2005) and Iraq (2007). In 2008, our family moved from southern Indiana to North Las Vegas, Nev., where I started middle school. Since my younger sister and I hadn’t found letters from Dad’s years deployed with the others letter, we figured Mom wrote them. By 2009’s end, Dad retired as a lieutenant colonel. But he continued work elsewhere, including in a dozen nations to indigenous peoples of the Americas. 

Here were Christmas letters from my adolescence on. Coincidentally, I noticed the first couple we found both came from my last years at respective schools. 

2010: “Danny, 13, is finishing at [...] a magnet [middle] school associated with math, science and technology. He [earned last year] a 4.0 [grade-point] average. He received a letter this past week from a magnet high school stating that he was the type of student they were looking for. [I, Dad, think Danny] is also in the National Junior Honor Society [service group]. [...] Danny continues to have to be at the school bus stop at 5:50 in the morning.” 

2014: “Danny is the ultimate study robot, with his inhuman ability to study for hours on end in place of sleep, or other usual activities for high schoolers.  He attended NV Boys State this past June, and he has risen to the rank of Division News Editor within [Kiwanis] Key Club--a HS service group.  Danny and [his younger sister] also attended Key Club activities in CA in Nov. [...] As this is his senior year [...], he should be starting to apply for colleges now, but [...] he has not applied to Yale, which is causing his mother to feel that she is a ‘failure’ if none of her kids get accepted at this prestigious school--it’s used by Chinese mothers as a guilt trip for their kids! [...] He also received an AP with Honors award [from his magnet high school].  He presently is in the ‘top 10’ students in his class ranking.  But if he doesn’t get his applications in, then there is always UNLV [Las Vegas]!” 

2016: “Daniel is now a sophomore at UNR (Reno) in the Honors Program, and is an honors ambassador. He says he has 1 major in journalism with 3 minors at the present time, and he works at the library when time permits. He also completed an internship in publishing during the summer session, when he stayed in Reno and frugally survived during the summer by ‘couch surfing’ at several different locations. Several of us attended his confirmation at Easter in Reno. He also [...] presented at a few [conferences]. Additionally, he is involved in [the Kiwanis] Circle K service group on campus, as well as the Knights of Columbus, and he sings in the choir at the local Newman Center. Based on his Facebook postings, he seems to be enjoying college immensely. [...]” 

I definitely loved service groups—and still do, if Peace Corps counts! 

Seeing these letters in 2020, I feel amused how Dad wrote of my later academic interests with distance. Dad’s 2002 line about 5-year-old me, “[Daniel] studies very hard,” escalated exponentially, noticeable by his 2014 line about 17-year-old me, “Danny is the ultimate study robot, with his inhuman ability to study for hours on end in place of sleep.” I figure my peers were similar, though… 

I feel amused, too, how Dad included Mom’s wanting me to pursue STEM careers. Chinese often expect this of their kids. In some sense, I’m glad Dad let me escape the Asian tendency and Mom’s ideal to have me pursue a Bachelor of Science. Back then, I contended a bachelor’s from the professional School of Journalism would still make me hireable. 

Sure enough, Peace Corps hired! 

Besides, I felt vindicated later when I learned my minors in English literature, Chinese studies and communication studies resembled my late mother’s fields of English literature and international relations... She clearly benefited from Liberal Arts. More on these in previous reflections, though. :)

Back From Mongolia

Snap back to March 2020, when I just returned to America after our COVID-19 evacuation from Mongolia. 

I was really into “Frozen II,” the cathartic film easing me back into the States. My first week back felt very different from those after. Because “Some Things Never Change,” I discerned to do “The Next Right Thing.” Waking to various “Frozen II” numbers of looping in my brain, days began with such thoughts. 

My first days, I often compared experiences to Mom’s when she raised my siblings and me. Despite being at home, I was alone. Dad worked away, plus siblings had school and work. (This preceded American schools canceling or moving online.) So, I felt confused what to do. 

I discerned I could tidy the house, serve where others couldn’t. Whether dishes to wash or rooms to clean, I addressed what I saw. I imagined Mom felt this way when my siblings and I attended school and Dad worked. 

I also considered my living father matters as much as my late mother. So, honoring Dad honors her, too. 

Dad always had yard projects he wanted me doing. I had to weed so much when I first returned. 

I felt insights, at least. I considered, weeds are eternal. Weeds will always grow on spiritual life. Weeds attempt to choke our crops’ life. We must uproot our weeds and prune dead areas to fortify new and better parts of being. The physical and spiritual are one. … Yet, weeds still annoy me. 

Noticeably, my labors seemed to confuse many in my family. They seemed mostly to recall the 2015 me who’d choose studying over chores any day. But I guess most hadn’t factored I’ve experienced plenty in my years away from home, especially during my months living alone cooking for myself in Mongolia. House tasks are necessary parts of life. 

Besides, I’d already been doing these tasks others seemed disinterested in, even back at Christmas 2019, when I sorted Mom’s books, and later during post-evacuation Week 9 (May 1-7), packing up Mom’s desk after three years gathering dust. I felt frustrated others seemed slow to accept I’ve changed since Peace Corps. I pray for grace.

The New Journey

June 6, 2020—just days after Pentecost and coincidentally one month to my 23rd birthday—marked one huge occasion. 

Dad remarried! 

I felt excited.

I also noticed a curious parallel in threes. For, on my family history adventures, I discovered something about Dad’s parents. In 1987, his mother's spouse passed away; on the third year, she married again, in 1990. 30 years later, my dad’s spouse passed away in 2017; on the third year, he married again, in 2020. Coincidences comfort me at times.

That day, I’d also finished revisions to submit my thesis to a different journal for publication. I’d tried before with one in June 2019 and February 2020, but unfortunately my work hadn’t fit within their scope. Still, the editor believed that  I could publish it in the right place! 

College Town Return

That Week 14 (June 5-11), Dad also purchased a house in Reno, Nev., where my kind stepmom may move, too. Dad requested aid moving things in Reno. My younger sister and youngest brother both opted out, so I went instead. I prefer Reno’s weather, anyway. 

In Reno again, I felt parallels to past years. 

Helping my youngest sister and her friend move from a condo and house to the new place, I recalled the many who helped me move between Reno homes during my undergrad. Honestly, I felt weird to think of my dad relocating to Reno, especially since I hadn’t known the area he chose existed during my years studying in town. 

Mongolia returned to mind, too, while I lugged belongings in and out of the condo, up and down stairs. Hard to believe that that was three months ago when Peace Corps evacuated us. Exactly three months before, March 9, 2020, was my first Monday in Nevada again. 

Writing of Mongolia, I also recalled every bellhop who's hauled my 23 kg (50 lbs.) luggage up stairs in Asia. God bless them. 

On the bright side, with helping the sister and friend move, Dad said I got stronger. That felt good. When he asked how many push-ups I could do, I said 50—my new personal record met just days before. When I started working out the month and a half prior, I could only do half that. 

Thanks to the lifting and yard work tasking me in Reno, I paused my fitness routines. I realized, I’ve enough strength and endurance for what I’d want to do. So now, having met the goals, I still work out, just less concerned about gains.

Tests of Faith

Back to that ‘groundskeeping.’

With Reno versus Vegas, I prefer hedges to palm trees. Hedges are more fun and less merciless. They leave my body less bloody than palm trees, too. Reno’s weather also keeps cooler. 

As you’d expect, yard work leaves plenty time to reflect, chat with God. In earlier days these chats opened with lamentations about the heat and constant tasks. But God graces peace.

Ultimately, Dad’s tasks need someone to do them. He’s busy working full-time out-of-town, and siblings still have activities they must or would rather do. So I volunteer. 

On the other side, Dad at times says he’ll compensate me once the bills are paid. There always seem bills to me, though. Since it’s been three months now, I try to think of this like the Kingdom. Whether or not I see rewards, I try to persevere. I must trust the Father to provide in time, no matter the wait. It’s a spiritual exercise. 

Pa says he’s glad I’m financially stable, too—My scholarships, grants and work study graduated me debt-free. Those seem good, I guess. 

So, spiritually exercising while laboring, I consider parables of workers in the field and masters. Christ spoke of such. Parables about fields and wages seem more nuanced after feeling comparable questions. 

I think, too, to re-education labor camps sometimes. During China’s Cultural Revolution, my mom’s parents—both teachers—were sent to those. So, my ‘toiling’ in Dad’s backyards are surely nothing compared to what my grandparents involuntarily endured. I can bear my ‘shackles.’ 

These bring me to privilege.

At the day’s end, I have places to stay, food to eat and stable internet. Many Americans and people worldwide face greater turmoil than these, perhaps including you, my reader. So, I try acknowledging my ‘hardships’ hardly compare. I try to focus prayers for the needier. Faith helps me through.

On a happy note, I just reached the Diamond League on Duolingo! So, life could definitely be worse...

The Climb

One day during Week 15 (June 12-18), after Dad came home at dusk from work, he asked me to get out the ladder to climb the backyard tree. I thought that was wistful thinking! 

Well, I had the time and realized he wanted me to climb after all. The tree had a fallen limb he wanted me to saw off, since I weigh less than him. I insisted I’d only climb with him around.

Well, he came around. 

I ascended and sawed four limbs! Before the climb, we thought I only had to address a single one. But as I climbed for it, I found more. Thankfully, these were thin limbs. Dad gave some advice from below, handed me our hand saw then left me while he took care of other tasks around the yard. I climbed higher, wedged my feet in semi-stable positions and got to work.

Atop, the wind blew, so the tree rocked. I clung high in a swaying tree. Good Lord. 

But I felt amazed, handling my saw even with my off-hand. I’d cling with one arm and saw with the other. When branches got stuck, I had to grab them, push and jerk them away from other sections to send them down. Dad had me call out, “Timber!” With the final branch out, I let the saw fall. 

Success felt like redemption from that random tree I climbed the first culture-shocked day I returned to Vegas from Mongolia. This time I’d such control. My safety depended on it! Plus, I only grazed the back of my hand, as opposed to gashing my palm like the last time I left a tree. Less bleeding is better. 

By the end, my arms and legs trembled, not from worry but from muscle fatigue. Still, I felt empowered. Throughout my childhood, I could never climb a tree. Now I passed the physical I hadn’t expected a month and a half prior. 

All told, my climb took just half an hour.

Staying the Course 

In a week and a half, I turn 23! So I’ll be one (1) 23-year-old, hehe. Look forward to new reflections on how I’ve grown and changed. 

As an extension of my paternal family history projects, I started writing memorable quotes from Dad. My siblings and I wound up adapting these and more into our Fathers’ Day 2020 gift! Dad enjoyed our “Book of the Father” we printed. 

Meanwhile, America begins to slightly reopen amid COVID-19 conditions, and the post-solstice summer’s begun. So, I encourage us to, whenever possible, still #StayHome more than usual, wear our face masks, maintain physical distance and of course wash our hands. We’ll get through this.

And I hear some are struggling with loneliness, too—If you need someone to talk to, you can always count on me. It’s among the most challenging feelings, given we humans are social beings staying physically apart. Writing, phoning and video calls help me, at least. Feel free to reach out. I keep you and loved ones in my prayers.

Best wishes, and till we chat again.

You can read more from me here at DanielLang.me :)

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

actually another point that really pisses me off with extracurriculars (also called ECs in this post) and ESPECIALLY the ECs while I was in uni, was the fact that nearly all of them required a distinction (75-84) average/high distinction (85-100) average to actually participate. like this counted for even general tutoring where youd suppose a credit average (65-74) should be enough in arts subjects at least lmao.

like the most irritating ones that required the distinction/high distinction averages were like “leadership” workshop presenters and even uni promoters who’d travel to schools around my district and sometimes further afield to talk about study or the uni. but the most infuriating thing with that is that they also looked at your ATAR- ie. your uni entrance score or what would be the equivalent to like the SAT score in the US/A levels in the UK or the IB score internationally. and the ATARs usually hd to be in like the 80 zone to do anything with tutoring or leadership/study workshops etc.

like my ATAR was low back in 2013 when I did my hsc- coming back as 38.25.... but I still managed to pull through undergrad with a credit average and get into my post grad diploma. but is that enough to talk at elevate study workshops? apparently not. apparently the only inspiring people for these study and leadership seminars are people that are loaded with money (usually bc most attended tutoring during school.... if I remember my elevate workshop from year 10 correctly) so that they could achieve great marks to get into uni and know how to maintain them while they were at uni. they have the resources to do serveral extracurricular things and even some community work to boot. in short, they had EVERYTHING to get them to uni.

for me, i found the above super hard to relate to in year 10. and hell, even now. like I didn’t have the home environment or a great chance of doing anything really (or at least that’s how my 17/18yo self viewed it from her depressed and anxious thoughts in 2013) at all during my hsc to get good marks in those final exams. like in year 10 in 2011 before the hsc, for the school certificate, i basically almost had to repeat bc i’d stopped handing in assessments. one of my friends actually had to save my ass for me by writing half of my english speech for me so that I didn’t fail and have to repeat the next year. all through year 10 i was threatened by teachers telling me that my (now defunct) school certificate wouldn’t be marked bc if I wrote by hand myself.

it was the same in years 11/12. but my teachers were so tired with fighting the board of studies for a laptop for me to use during my final exams, that they relied on the BOS to tell me that I’d got one. but the BOS never told me, so I went in without studying and believing that everyone around thought I was too fucking brainless to achieve anything above a 50 atar without studying. I did have a computer for my final exams though, but I didn’t know UNTIL THE FIRST DAY OF MY FIRST ENGLISH EXAM when my community and family studies (cafs) teacher FINALLY decided to tell me.

like after all of that bullshit, I came out with 38.25. I moped and cried and hated myself bc I didn’t get a good atar and had to go to business college instead. bc they were one of the places that didn’t judge on ATAR at all. I hauled my ass through my fucking advanced diploma of marketing and got into uni. I did over 600 pages of work in my AD, with my longest assignment being fucking 75 pages!!!! like y’all I wrote a whole (super poorly) written textbook in a fucking year!!!!! like how fuckin ridiculous is that?????!!!!

like yes. I struggled like fuck through undergrad... in fact I wanted to drop out halfway through second year bc I felt like I’d done my whole 3 years already. but I pushed on through that finally graduated in oct 2018. now I’m half way through my grad diploma. like yes during that i only did one extra curricular, which was attending toastmasters sporadically when I remembered/felt like going/or my class schedule permitted. I tried the blogging thing but never interviewed anyone bc i was too shy... I basically did the blogging thing bc IT WAS THE ONLY THING that didn’t require the atar/some uni grade average to do it. it was that or a multimedia newsroom assistant that didn’t need a grade average... other than some career programs. so I focussed on career building workshops instead. after all of that I came out with roughly a credit average according to my undergrad uni’s WAM calculator.... my wam was about 68.8 or something by the time I graduated.

but like. the whole time i was at uni I was met with the question “how did you even get in... if your atar WAS THAT LOW???? you couldn’t even get into the uni college with 38.25.” i constantly got that from careers advisors and stuff. and I had to say “well it was my advanced diploma that got me in bc it was a pass/fail course.”

like why isn’t that considered more “inspiring” as opposed to shitty, snobby kelvin or henrietta over here who got all straight A’s through school, did several sports and other ECs; did a fuck load of charity and community work, did the duke of Edinburgh award by working at a retirement home for a year as a conversation giver or whatever they’re called. like I find that so fucking unrelatable bc I didn’t have the time and money to do any of that. like yes my hsc marks were abysmal and so were most of my marks in junior school (but let’s not count math and PE for this post, considering i went into arts lmao)... like surely the stories of lower achieving students that get into uni and eventually pick themselves up off the floor to get some shit done are 10billion times more relatable than Goodie-Two-Shoes My Parents Are Loaded AF Sally™️ or My Parents Sent Me To Over-Priced Tutoring That Sometimes Did My Homework For Me But I Turned It In As I’d Done It Myself Jerry™️ that are both selected as presenters for these programs.

like fuck off with your “how did you even get here if your atar was so low and how are you even still here?” Janice in careers central. or elevate leaders conference. let lower achievers speak and have a chance to do some fucking extra curriculars that involve public speaking etc.... so that they can inspire and relate to the lower achieving kids to maybe attend and finish uni..... and come out on top of the stupid rich cunts like henrietta/sally/jerry/kelvin who are usually the ones who are more likely to drop out half the time.... because they realise that they’re just doing it to make the parents proud.... bc it turns out that it’s not what they ACTUALLY WANTED TO DO in the first place.

so yeah. I think more ECs at universities should be more accomodating to people in the lower mark ranks (like credit averages or people who got lower atars than the standard 70 for most courses)..... and especially the ones that are about “leadership” or “study” or whatever.... bc like i didn’t do my advanced diploma probs wouldn’t‘ve gone to uni until much later in life (i think anyway idk). and people should be kinder to others who got into uni via alternate pathways like a diploma from an outside institution and not be all snide like “how did you even get here if your academics were so low?” like learn to acknowledge that people have problems with getting high marks or will usually nowadays get hit with bad depression/anxiety in year 12 over marks and thus not achieve what they probs could have.

anyway there’s another academia/extra curriculars rant done lmao.

[c-sgetdegrees]

I’ve been out of college for about 15 months, and I’ve realized some things about college now that I hadn’t really noticed before. Before I share this revelation with you all, let me give you a recap of my college career - which spanned across 7.5 years total - in bullet points (to save you the novel, but also because I like bullet points):

Entered as a secondary education major with an emphasis on English

I had a decent first semester

By year 2 I wasn’t feeling it; I went to talk with a uni counselor where we came to the conclusion that I wasn’t properly prepared for college - which is where my anxiety stemmed from

Year 2 is also the year I met with an academic advisor and she introduced me to a women’s leadership conference (which to this day is a week that I hold dear to my heart)

The beginning of my third year, I had decided that I really hated college; so instead of leaving, I changed my major to English and spent the next 2.5 years reading and writing

Year 3 I also went back to see a uni counselor - this time the counselor said I showed signs of depression, so I took a mindful yoga class (I loved it - everyone should try it)

A few weeks later it just got worse, so he recommended that I see the uni psychiatrist. I did and he put me on anti-depressants; and those wouldn’t let me sleep, so he put me on Ambien. My test anxiety got worse so he put me on generic Ativan, too. Side note: The meds did help. I was medicated & didn’t feel anything, which was better than feeling sad. I was on them until I finished college - nearly 5 years total

I took a few semesters off because I hated it so much

I met one of my dearest friends ever (I love you, Rubi)

I completed my major courses, but ended up spending my last 2 years of college trying to pass math class. Since it was literally only one class, my financial aid wouldn’t pay for it, so it all came out of pocket. Which is why it took so long. Side note: I went 1 semester, failed, took a semester off to save money, went back, and finally passed - but not without the help of my amazing, generous tutor (same one I had in high school)

I ended up graduating 7.5 years after I started - and I nearly hated every single year of it

Okay, so now that you have a recap on my background in college, I will tell you what I’ve learned since I’ve been out of college...

I want to make it very clear that while I hated college with every damn ounce of my soul, I don’t regret any of it at all. Let’s be real - the only reason why I did it in the first place was because I felt like it was the next step in my life. I felt the pressure to go to college because at that time that’s what society told us was the right thing to do. At that time, people believed college was important. If you wanted to be someone, you’d go to college or join the military. I would like to argue that nowadays people are better off going to trade schools - but that’s just my opinion. Anyway, I also did it because I didn’t have a job nor job experience, and I didn’t want to sit around doing nothing all day. I went to college because I had nothing better to do. 

That’s why I started, but why did I stay if I hated it so much? I stayed because I had already started. I knew by my second year that I wasn’t very good at school. I stayed because I was too far along to quit. Even when I’d go home and complain to my grandma about how much I hated it and her telling me to just quit, I didn’t. And when she died, I still stayed - because I literally had nothing else. They also had free basic health care. When my grandma died, I had a counselor free-of-charge. 

I don’t regret my time in college because it’s where I grew up. I was in college from ages 18 til 25 - basically my entire adulthood was spent there. I met some really great people, and made a really amazing friend. My grandma passed away near the very beginning of one of my later semesters. I mention this because if it weren’t for school, I would have been completely alone. I showed up almost every day for the entire semester as a typical grieving person: dark sunglasses on, random crying, showing up late & disappearing randomly, missing classes or assignments. This was my life during that semester, but I really needed to not be alone. 

I currently have a really good job hat I love a lot; however, I know for a fact that I wasn’t hired because of my college degree (my boss has told me this a few times). College taught me how to meet deadlines, practice writing, and pretend I know what I’m talking about when I have no idea. Finishing college also gave me a sense of accomplishment. There was a time when I didn’t even know if there was a light at the end of the tunnel; the end felt so far away, I never thought I’d see it. 

You can go through this blog and see me hate so hard on my college experience, but in the end I don’t regret it. Me, my degree, and my ~$5K student loans are doing just fine. 

[musingsofableedingheart]

Wolf pack

Mel Begg speaking to cardies about horror film archives, June 2017 / Photographer: Nik McGrath

“In the long history of humankind (and animal kind, too) those who learned to collaborate and improvise most effectively have prevailed” (Charles Darwin, The Origin of Species, 1859).

Collaboration is from the Latin ‘collaborare’, meaning ‘work together’. At the heart of what we do as GLAM (galleries, libraries, archives and museum) professionals is collaboration, that is if we don’t act as lone wolves, if we reach out to our colleagues in the GLAM sector. My wolf pack are my friends and colleagues in the GLAM world. I also have a wolf pack in the art world, and a recent wolf pack in the Melbourne Horror Film Society (MHFS). 

Sometimes these wolf packs cross over, and my fellow wolves that belong to more than one of my wolf packs are truly special people in my life who I can collaborate across areas of interest. Mel Begg and I studied Information Management at RMIT together, drawn together as fellow archivists interested in film, audiovisual and photographic archives. Mel is one of the organisers of the MHFS, introducing me to the group. Earlier this year I asked Mel to talk about horror film archives at our June cardi party. I love when worlds collide.

In recent years there has been increased cross-disciplinary collaboration between the GLAM sector. If lone wolves were how we operated in the past, current practice encourages collaboration to add value to our profession and the community we serve.

“Now in the digital world, collaboration is central, contributions are encouraged (blogs, tweets, share photos and videos, post content to Facebook, and so forth), and people recognise that sharing adds value for everyone” (Joseph R Matthews, Adding Value to Libraries, Archives, and Museums: Harnessing the Force That Drives Your Organization’s Future, 2016, p. 215). When you post a blog, you are contributing your thoughts to a larger discussion online. That’s what GLAM Blog Club is all about. I think collaboration is an apt theme to close the year, and something newCardigan supports in everything we do.

Collaboration has been important to me as long as I can remember. I think for me it really started in art class at school. To create my photographs for my year 11 and 12 folio, I collaborated with life models. I contacted the local life model society, hired a model to come to my house, spoke to the model about my ideas and we discussed the best way to execute them.

Returning to uni to study Information Management, I was blown away with the level of collaboration amongst the student cohort. During our studies a couple of the students created a Facebook group for us, Li-BRO-rians, although I’m an archivist and not a librarian, I was still a welcome member of the group. We discussed uni assignments, shared ideas and worked together to navigate the course the best we could. When we began to apply for jobs, the support of this group was crucial to everyone’s success, and continues to be so.

When I was asked to join the cardi core (committee) of newCardigan, I would never have thought how much I crave collaboration. Collaboration with the cardi core, GLAM speakers and our cardies (members) is central to the success of our cardi parties, cardiCast (podcast) and GLAM Blog Club. Collaborating, cross-pollination between different personality types, experiences, skill sets and professions in the GLAM sector is essential to improve and implement our ideas. JFDI is newCaridgan, and collaboration is how we’ve maintained momentum.

Australian Society of Archivists conference delegates, September 2017 / Photographer: Nik McGrath

I learn a great deal from collaborating with others. Projects benefit from the input of ideas from more than one source. The newsletter I produce as Comms Officer of the Australian Society of Archivists (ASA) Victorian Branch requires the collaboration of many voices to make each issue an interesting read for members of the GLAM community. I enjoy reaching out to individuals inviting them to write feature articles, and receiving articles from passionate members of the Branch who want to make a contribution.

Friends drawing at Dr Sketchy’s, August 2017 / Photographer: Nik McGrath

In December 2007 I went to my first Dr Sketchy’s at the Butterfly Club in South Melbourne. Since then I have been a regular member of the Dr Sketchy’s art community in Melbourne. I have met many incredible performers and artists over the past decade. Each Dr Sketchy’s session is a collaboration between the artists in the audience and the performers on stage. It’s an important working relationship that leads to the creation of memorable experiences, sketches, videos and photographs.

In recent years I have been an active member of the Covert Characters Life Drawing group, collaborating with performers when making drawings and photographs, and feeling inspiration from the performers on stage, the feeling in the room, and my fellow artists. This inspiration and collaboration is something I also feel each time I’m with my Dr Sketchy’s art family.

Terri Berends, Mel Begg and I at a Melbourne Horror Film Society screening, December 2016 / Photographer: unknown

I think we grow stronger from collaborating with others, we learn and feel inspired. I love being surrounded by cinephiles, sharing in their passion for film. For many years I have immersed myself in the world of sic-fi and fantasy, however recently joining the Melbourne Horror Film Society, attending monthly screenings and learning more about horror films from the organisers and members of the society, I feel like I have a new-found appreciation for film as an art form. The collaboration of the organisers, and being an attendee rather than an organiser, allows me to learn from their way of doing things, their knowledge, ideas and passion, in a different way than in my role with newCardigan and the ASA VIC Branch.

As a museum worker, I collaborate with individuals across the organisation, in different departments, on various projects, and in various types of work. I work closely with colleagues in the Records and Archives unit to deliver various projects, recently we have been working on the upgrade of our EDMS. I also collaborate with members of my department which includes the library team and the public information team. Recently we collaborated with the library team to create library and archives tours. In the tours we presented correspondence between famous English ornithologist John Gould and the first Director of the Museum, Prof Frederick McCoy in the archives, and the library rare book collection of Gould publications, including Birds of Australia and Birds of New Guinea. Collaborating on the these tours meant that visitors received insights about the beautiful Gould publications from the librarians, as well as telling the story from the archives of how the Gould publications and specimens were collected over a number of years.

When the public information teams send research enquiries from a member of the public to me in the archives, the same question is often sent to another member of staff, perhaps a collection manager or curator. To answer a research question often requires information from many sources across the Museum. If only one person answered the enquiry, the full picture would not be discovered. Collaborating on research projects across disciplines and areas of expertise is something that benefits everyone, especially the person asking the question in the first place. The Museum recently received an enquiry about Frank Spry, an entomologist who worked in the Museum in the early 1900s, who collected items for the entomology, palaeontology and ethnology collections. This enquiry has led to a collaboration project between colleagues working in Entomology, Palaeontology, Indigenous Cultures and Archives, and will eventually lead to a better understanding of Frank Spry and his contribution to the Museum.

Collaboration is at the heart of what we do as GLAM workers. Archivists in the past were often described as lone wolves. Today we are part of something bigger, the GLAM community. Collaborating on projects, cross-pollination across disciplines and working with others creates learnings across the sector, better and more rounded individuals in the profession, and more fruitful and well-rounded GLAM programs, exhibitions and experiences.

[reportingfordigitalmedia]

Task 2 Reporting for digital media idea generation and research

Task 2 Idea Generation: Kathryn Morrison and Daniel Tihn

The question: How is COVID-19 changing daily life?

IDEA 1: Interviewing media companies for an insight in Coronavirus’ effect in the creative sector.

Since our course is Creative Media Production, it would be interesting to discuss how media companies are dealing with the current situation. We could find local companies like Maka Visuals, TVM, Lovin Malta or FreeHour. Additionally, we could ask foreign companies if they would be willing to provide a statement or sit for an interview. This way we would hit all demographics but also every facet: news, entertainment and informational pieces.

Some questions to ask potential interviewees:

Has it impacted creativity negatively or positively? Would projects be postponed, or would an alternative solution be found to keep clients happy? What problems would it pose for future projects? How would the company move forward to maintain momentum?

IDEA 2: How are teachers and students coping with the current situation? An insight into the current educational change.

We would interview teachers and students both locally and abroad with a series of questions designed to be applicable for all, as the situation hits close to home and therefore everyone has an opinion.

We can interview two areas of life: primary and secondary teachers, as well as students from sixth form, primary, and secondary. If possible, a foreign teacher or students from different countries would be beneficial for an insight into how coronavirus is affecting the rest of the world.

Education is a vital building block for society, an essential, which renders these questions important and relevant for all those who watch the feature.

Perhaps getting rid of the typical ‘question and answer’ format, when it comes to those, we can interview who live in our household: we could have parts of the video with the interviewer and interviewee to be across a long table. This way, the visual presence of social distancing is upheld as it permeates into the essence of the video: how can education move forward in this situation? It is the question on everyone’s mind.

Idea Justification

After discussing it as a team, Daniel and I (Kathryn) have come to the conclusion of doing a news report following the struggles teachers and students are having at continuing their teaching/education. This decision was not made out of whim yet have a few justifiable reasons.

Firstly, as students, this topic is near and dear to us as not only do we find the theme interesting, but we are living through it as we speak. This news feature will not only tell a story, but it will indirectly tell our story as students and the struggles that have been thrown at us. Secondly, this feature will tick a few boxes when it comes to CINNPUT: the story shows conflict between the students, the teachers, the system, and the situation; will hopefully shed some new light on the current situation; centres around Malta and the troubles happening here; and now is the time to write and film pieces centred around COVID-19.

Finally, a major point that helped us choose this topic is that we, as a team, personally know many teachers and students which enables us to perform first-hand research without the use of online conferences and, when it comes to Task 3, the interview can be done face to face. By knowing these teachers of different levels (including a headmaster and an English teacher who lives in America which can bring some foreign context), we will be able to have multiple sources from which to quote and gain knowledge from a multitude of angles. Even when it comes to the gathering of photographs and b-roll, it may be possible to capture some ourselves instead of finding all our sources digitally (with the proper consents in place).

Article Research

Below is a list of articles we examined as a team and used to construct our idea, the flow of our writing, and the pacing of the story. They also helped inform us on what to include vs exclude in our story. With that said, most of our research will be first hand through interviews.

· https://www.bbc.com/news/education-52145351

· https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2020/apr/06/education-ministers-to-discuss-how-to-ensure-year-12-students-finish-school-this-year-coronavirus

· https://www.theguardian.com/education/2020/mar/20/what-should-uk-students-do-during-the-coronavirus-outbreak

· https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/05/us/us-coronavirus-teachers-school-closures/index.html

· https://www.courier-journal.com/story/news/2020/03/28/conoravirus-kentucky-school-closures-stop-usual-student-teaching/2906646001/

· https://www.cnbc.com/2020/03/26/how-coronavirus-changed-college-for-over-14-million-students.html

· https://www.quebec.ca/en/health/health-issues/a-z/2019-coronavirus/stress-anxiety-and-depression-associated-with-the-coronavirus-covid-19-disease/

Article Medium

Before writing an article, a publishing medium first needs to be chosen. Where a piece will be viewed changes the style of writing, language, format, and content drastically as each medium has its own audiences. For our piece, we chose Facebook.

As a social media platform, Facebook has the farthest outreach as a lot of people from all demo- and psychographics use it on a daily basis. When compared to other social media platforms (such as Instagram), there are more users to target and hit with content on Facebook than anywhere else. When it comes to the actual targeting of the content, Facebook’s algorithm for sponsored posts and how it reaches new audiences is very efficient and easy to track those statistics. Although we will not be posting the article and sponsoring it, we are very familiar with Facebook’s system and the business side of the website, making it an obvious choice for us as a team.

Facebook’s wide net is a major advantage for our piece as we are targeting multiple audiences across multiple ages and interests, making the platform perfect.

Writing for Facebook changes the content of the piece, especially when it comes to the flow. When writing for a newspaper, one needs to more informative and direct whereas Facebook is a post, meaning the writing leans towards a style that flows from one paragraph to another. The register of the piece is also affected by the medium, with ours going to lean towards a more casual approach than references us (the writers) and the audience (this feels natural as social media is based on interactions between individuals instead of a third person writing style).

Most Facebook posts have some form of visual media accompanying the post (photos or videos). For our post, we will include an image to accompany the writing (although the text is the main focus), but if this piece were to be released in conjunction with the video in task 3, then they would be released together with the video at the bottom of the article.

Generally, posts on social media platforms would include hashtags to help spread the piece around but since Facebook has its own sponsoring system and algorithm, we wouldn’t include any hashtags. By being able to target the interests of our audience, we wouldn’t need to use hashtags which have the possibility of making the article look ‘tacky’ (the same effect applies to emojis).

Meeting: 2nd April

BASE IDEA: To Interview multiple teachers and students of different levels to see what the situation is at their schools and how they are continuing their education

Students Levels:

2 x Primary (1 going to secondary)

2 x1 Secondary

2 x 6th Form

Bala Uni/MCAST students

Teachers Levels

1 Kindergarden

1 Primary

1 Secondary

2 x Headmistresses (maybe)

1 Foreign English Teacher (Austin)

What do we need?

for task 2: the criteria:

Identify topical concept - (maybe) In our essay we can justify why our topic is topical in a mini intro?, this could accompany our identification of the type we're writing (so either informative, or educational or else entertainment).

identify medium and method of presentation for news report

prepare digital media report for implementation showing evidence of process used

produce an authentic written news report showing evidence of authenticity

Checklist

◦ DOCUMENT: justifying why we chose the topic, the type, the idea-generation

◦ RESEARCH A NEWS STORY: something similar to the topic and following the same field

◦ WRITE THE NEWS STORY

◦ RESEARCH: websites used, references, interview subjects and the medium, transcript of the interview

◦ PLAN INTERVIEWS AND LOCATIONS

Final list of Questions

1. How is the school handling this ‘home schooling’ situation?

a. This is to get a general overview on how the school is enabling students to continue their studies and lecturers/teachers to remain in contact with their class/es

2. What possible benefits have you encountered from online classes? Whilst completely different from the norm, how can online learning change education for the better in these trying times? And what about the disadvantages?

a. When it comes to education, how has the teaching/learning process been affected? Has the quality gone down when it comes to lessons and lectures? Has being at home helped your studies/workload?

3. How are you as a teacher/student coping with this new stress? What are you doing to combat the cabin fever? How is the school helping teachers/students handle this newfound stress?

a. For example, how are teachers reaching out to students and being more accommodating when it comes to assignments and exams?

4. Apart from online lectures, how are you ensuring that your teaching/studying is still kept up to standard? Are you sending/receiving any supplementary material outside of these digital classes? What do you think about that?

N.B. When the same point has multiple questions, these wouldn’t be asked at the same time but instead would be used to either clarify the main question or to help the interviewee answer.

Final list of questions - students

1. How is the school handling this ‘home schooling’ situation?

2. Whilst completely different from the norm, how can online learning change education for the better in these trying times?

3. How are you as a student coping with this new stress? What are you doing to combat the cabin fever?

4. Apart from online lectures, how are you ensuring that your studying is still kept up to standard? Are you receiving any supplementary material outside of these digital classes?

Final list of questions - teachers

1. How is the school handling this ‘home schooling’ situation?

2. Whilst completely different from the norm, how can online learning change education for the better in these trying times?

3. How are you as a teacher coping with this new stress? What are you doing to combat the cabin fever?

4. Apart from online lectures, how are you ensuring that your teaching is still kept up to standard? Are you sending any supplementary material outside of these digital classes?

People Asked

· James Morrison (Form 4 student, going on form 5 in September; attends St. Michael)

· Alice Morrison (Year 6 student, going on form 1 in September; attends St.George Preca Paola Primary B)

o Alice is in year 6, therefore their syllabus was finished before the pandemic. Regardless of whether or not it happened, all they would have done in class would have been revision, therefore no online lessons are happening.

· Ruth Morrison (Secondary School teacher; teaches at St. Thomas More)

· Elisa Gatt (Bachelor of Commerce, 1st Year)

· Faye Darmanin (B. Psy., 1st Year)

· Lexi Manduca (B. A. in European Studies and International Relations, 1st Year)

· Carla Camilleri (B. Sci. in Applied Food and Nutritional Sciences, 1st Year)

· Alexandra Tihn (Form 2; attends Our Lady Immaculate)

· Hannah Gatt (B. Sci. in Communication Therapy, 1st Year)

· Gillian Darmanin (Primary School Teacher; teaches at Chiswick House School)

- Sean Bacica (B.A in Creative Media Production, 2nd Year)

Answers:

James Morrison’s answers (Form 4 student, going on form 5 in September)

1. I wake up at around 10 o’clock, later than normal, I have breakfast and then my mother makes me study or do homework, which I am reluctant to do as there is no motivation at all to study for exams which I have to sit for after this period. I am handling it badly, as this situation feels more like a holiday rather than school. Due to that, I just want to play on my phone or play video games all day as I would when on holiday.

2. I have only had a few online classes, as the majority of the focus for my year is on online homework. However, for the few times I did have online classes (at the beginning) made me realise that I prefer it. Online learning has the advantage of being more flexible, which for people my age is a benefit as we don’t like being told what to do. So, having the ability to pick the time and place of our work is a plus. I feel more comfortable using technology as it is more hands-on rather than just listening to the teacher, I can take notes at my own pace and I can pay attention better from the comfort of my own home.

3. Ultimately, I miss my friends and playing football with my club, as well as seeing my grandparents as I go and stay with them every weekend. At the moment, I am trying my best to adapt my activities of before the quarantine to online activities. For example, my catechism group are meeting online, and my family and I are getting takeout every Saturday so we can have a ‘’get together’’ and talk about how we’re handling the situation, it cheers me up a lot. Luckily, we have a garden and I can practice football and exercise outside which is super important to me as football keeps me sane.

4. I have been using the foreign language app Duolingo to keep practicing my German. At home, my mum sits with me and helps me study as next year I will be in form 5, so right now it is important that my grades do not slip. I am also receiving worksheets which we have to print, work out and send a picture for some lessons, others have no given us anything. Other teachers are putting videos up on youtube of lessons which we have to watch, and then fill out a form afterwards to make sure we understood the material.

Alice Morrison’s answers (Year 6 student, going on form 1 in September)

N.B Alice is in year 6, therefore their syllabus was finished before the pandemic. Regardless of whether or not it happened, all they would have done in class would have been revision, therefore no online lessons are happening.

1.I am handling it well, Home-schooling works for me because since I am at home, my mum walks me through my revision slowly and therefore I have more attention and help rather than everything being fast due to having to finish the syllabus in time. Also, I am happy about not having benchmarks because it removes the pressure I had before.

2. Online learning is more fun in my opinion because since it is all online, there is the possibility of sharing maths games for example or videos which personally keep me interested and help me learn better. A big one is that I feel less pressure working from home, in the classroom it is harder to keep up and I feel like online learning gives me more room to learn from my mistakes.

3. I am coping well, I feel great because I feel like I am introvert. This does not feel stressful to me, I feel much more relaxed when I am at home in comparison with when I was physically at school. I feel stressed and sad when I think of how I have not seen my grandparents in a long time, so I have been phoning them for often. Sometimes I feel a bit lonely, but I keep in contact with my friends from school by video-chatting them and also make new friends online.

4. I have had no online lessons as my syllabus has been long finished. My mum gives me revision exercises to do every day as extra work, as well as makes me read in English and Maltese to go hand in hand with the worksheets I receive from my teachers. The downside is that without being in class, I have to wait longer for my teachers to correct my homework which makes the learning process a bit slower. We also have quizzes on our school tablet which actually motivated me and kept me feeling like I want to learn because it was competitive.

Ruth Morrison’s answers (Secondary School teacher)

1. We were given to go ahead to do what we deem fit for the sake of our students; we can either do online lessons, send worksheets or find other methods depending on the subject. Some of my colleagues sent emails, used the state school platform ‘’My School’’ to post homework or video links, but we were given the email addresses of all the students in case we preferred to contact them directly individually. On the end of the school’s assistance, we were given webinars teaching us how to use Microsoft Teams so that all staff members are acquainted with the software needed. SMS’s were sent to the parents to encourage student participation and to make sure everyone is aware of the resources. However, not every student is participating. The student participation is actually really low, which is concerning for us teachers. The students who previously did not put much effort into working have diminished incredibly in regard to their effort now, but the students who showed interest are maintaining this.

2. It can be used as tool for the better for integration of internet resources such as videos which students seem to like and keeps the students who are visuals learners to pay attention and review for better understanding. It could be useful for revision for the most part, but then we have to be careful as online learning removes the barrier and leads to lack of routine or ‘’boundaries’’ as some students do not pay attention to school hours and expect responses instantly. I feel the majority of the benefits are for primary students as it allows the parent to be present for the learning experience, but for secondary school students the benefits lie only for note-taking (as some teachers speak quickly and students need to write everything down) or for reviewing purposes. Games, videos, learning websites with music and graphics are all great for the modern student as it is more engaging to many in comparison to reading from books. We show all these things in class, but with online learning everything is able to be reviewed again and again. Ultimately, I feel online learning should be used in conjunction with real-life learning rather than instead of, as everything is better when balanced.

3.  The webinar about how to use Microsoft teams and watching many youtube videos of how to use the software given to us did alleviate a lot of the stress I had, as well as teaming up with my colleagues, keeping in contact and sharing information regarding what we can do to move forward is a great help. I post notes, worksheets, video links, everything I can to provide the same experience, but the response from students is not massive, but since I send answer sheets as well that may be because they are marking their work themselves in adherence to the sheet I sent. Communicating with my colleagues and opening up to them helps me with the cabin fever situation, we help each other and offer support with technical problems or general issues. We send funny videos and ‘’memes’’ to cheer each other up as well. I am revising my German, as before I did not have time to brush up my skills and now I can; it keeps my mind engaged. I am basically doing everything I had no time to do before, such as decluttering.

Ironically, I am home schooling my children which feels great as I love teaching  and it comes second nature to me, but it is hard when they do not want to work due to  the demotivation effects of the quarantine.

4. I teach geography, and all us geography teachers created a specific ‘’team’’ for conversation with each other and keeping up the standard of the geography lesson, but I have not given any online lessons as it is not necessary for my situation. Since geography is not a main subject, I am aware of the fact that I may not have the same pressure as a maths or English teacher for example, as in school I would only see them once a week. I am therefore doing the best I can by sending extra videos, notes and anything interesting I feel would benefit them. I am also open for emails and respond to questions outside digital classes. I have found myself in the position of resending old notes as many students had left their notes in their lockers at the time of the school closure, as well as textbooks, therefore I simplified some notes as well due to them not having a textbook explanation.

Sean Bacica's answers (MCAST ICA 2nd Year student)

1. I am taking it day to day, planning out assignments as they come along and follow the instructions from my lecturers about how to proceed

2. Most of the lectures I am having during these times are 1 on 1, so the increase in personal attention helps with the progress of more challenging tasks

3. I feel I am coping quite fine with the stress, virtually meeting with lecturers and fellow peers often helps! When I feel trapped inside, I try to take a short drive or take my dog out for a short walk especially since the weather is so nice

4. Generally it is just online lectures that are keeping me and most of my peers in line with our goals and standards. External notes that wouldn't normally be supplied are being supplied which helps us to study when we aren't in said lectures

Elisa Gatt (Uni student):

1. Depends on the lecturer of the particular module rather than the school.

Out of 9 modules

- 2 do online lectures

- 1 does online lectures and also sends us the recording

- 4 send us recorded lectures

- 1 sends us a set of notes with corresponding voice recordings

- and another hasn’t sent us anything

I don’t mind the recorded lectures, however depends on the quality of teaching, some just send us a recording of them reading a power point which is quite useless.

However, I prefer recorded lectures over live lectures as one can pause to take notes, and listen to them in their own time.

The handout and voice recording lecture really fit the subject (statistics) well also.

Personally, I’m managing to cope with the lectures, however the main problem for me is exams. There is a deadline for the 17th for them to tell us what is happening with exams for the respective modules. However I feel like knowing if the exam will be assessment or assignment based will help to actually start studying.

2. It allows students to work in their own time. However this can also be a bad thing for students who aren’t very good with time management and organization.

3. Surprisingly doing well. I’ve been going up to my brothers office on weekday mornings to do work, so I can split my uni life and home life. And on weekends I don’t do anything school related.

This has really helped as I’m not spending 24/7 on my desk at home and I’m wasting less time.

4. Some send us power point presentations, while others recommend reading chapters of certain textbooks.

However one lecturer based his entire module on a textbook which isn’t being printed anymore, and can’t be found online. And doesn’t send us any power points, expecting us to take our notes from this book which can’t be found anywhere. Especially with the current situation.

For my statistics lecture we have a set of notes, and also a set of tutorial sheets to ensure we all understand.

Faye Darmanin (Uni Student, part time):

1. Quite well; I have online lectures for both of my units, and each of them upload the PowerPoints of the topic right after the online lecture ends.

The only issue I have is that the university is taking too long to tell us what the situation is for exams, not allowing us enough time to prepare.

2. This gives students more time with studying and note-taking.

3. I’m not doing anything to combat it, as since I only have 2 units the stress of school is quite low.

4. We are receiving the uploaded PowerPoints of each topic, but they are uploaded during normal face-to-face lectures as well, so nothing extra is being sent.

Lexi Manduca (Uni Student):

1. Quite well; I have online lectures for both of my units, and each of them upload the PowerPoints of the topic right after the online lecture ends.The only issue I have is that the university is taking too long to tell us what the situation is for exams, not allowing us enough time to prepare.2. This gives students more time with studying and note-taking.3. I’m not doing anything to combat it, as since I only have 2 units the stress of school is quite low.4. We are receiving the uploaded PowerPoints of each topic, but they are uploaded during normal face-to-face lectures as well, so nothing extra is being sent.

1. Most give us online live lectures on zoom. Some send us pre-recorded ones. Some lecturers just send us the power points and readings which is not at all an ideal way to learn.

2. It could encourage lecturers to record the lectures and upload them after the lecture so that students can go back and re-listen to anything they might not have understood during the lesson. This might encourage students to miss lectures so stricter attendance would need to be applied to combat this.

3. Recently I've found the best way to tackle being home all day is to spend as much time as I can out in the sun (in the balcony not actually out of the hosue).

4. We do receive the occasional podcast/ additional readings but mostly I'm keeping up with my studies through researching for and carrying out assignments

Carla Camilleri (Uni Student):

1. We’ve resorted to online lectures via Google Meet or Zoom. My faculty was pretty efficient with regards to continuing with lectures as normal however have barely given us any feedback with regards to what will be happening for exams.

2. Online learning can offer different ways of interaction between the lecturer and students as well as between the students themselves which wouldn’t normally be explored in a normal classroom such as through Groupwork on Google Docs or using videos on a more regular basis to initiate discussions. Online learning also makes learning more flexible and customizable. Lectures are generally recorded so can be accessed later on as a method of revision, if one needs clarification on a subject matter or can’t join the lecture in real time. The workspace can be altered by the student as desired to fit their mode of learning and comfort.

3. I’m making sure to attend all my lectures in real time as well as catching up on class notes to make sure i do not fall behind on work. I’m also making sure to communicate as much as possible with my lecturers to remain up to date on the exam and assignment situations for my units. Balancing learning with my hobbies also helps to combat stress, turning my focus away from continuous learning allows my brain to reset and relax.

4. Our lecturers have provided us with all the powerpoints of their lectures. They’ve also provided us with books for further reading and videos which help in providing a better understanding of the topics being covered. This all makes studying easier as we’re given multiple sources for making notes which are referred to when exam season begins.

Alexandra Tihn (Form 2)

1. My school is handling the home-schooling situation by sending me homework and assignments every day while I'm away from school, I dont have online classes but I still have papers and work. It's hard to keep up on everything that the school sends us since they send us a lot at once it gets really confusing for me, but it isn't that bad since I made a schedule.

2. I think it’s a good way to do work while I'm away from school, but I don't think it's the best thing we could do while we are away since they send us double the work and it's getting really hectic.

3. I’m coping with all the work but the stress comes along with it straight away, having to see where I can get things printed or seeing when the deadline is since it's all messy and wondering if what I'm doing is correct without an actual explanation from the teachers. I think I'm handling staying inside really well, especially since we have technology now which allows me to communicate with my friends so I don't feel totally alone, although it does make me feel very lonely at time when I just want someone to talk to or to hug etc.

4. Well given the fact that I don't have lectures the only way I can know if I'm keeping up with the standard of studying is by doing as much of the work I can as possible before they leave the school website because of deadlines. The teachers sometimes sends me and everyone as a whole class some papers with notes and some power points but it's hard to keep up since sometimes they send us work and then the next day send us the answers so I don't really have time to do the work sometimes.

Hannah Gatt (Uni Student):

1. Under these circumstances I think the school is doing all it can to aid its students in any way they can. This being said, some lecturers are clearly putting in more effort than others however overall, the university seems to be helping students adjust to home schooling very well. My only issue at this point in time is regarding the examination period and having no idea what is going to happen. Out of the 11 study units I have, I only know for certain how 3 of them are going to be assessed whilst the others are keeping us in the dark which is extremely unfair.

2. I think online learning has proven the importance and value of face to face interactions with teachers and lecturers that simply cannot be replaced. However it has also shown that regardless of the circumstances, there is always a method through which education can take place which is important for everyone to keep in mind.

3. To be completely honest I am growing slightly restless as I miss interacting and socialising with people. However, im trying not to get too overwhelmed with the situation since I know that everyone is in the same predicament. I’m personally trying to keep myself busy mainly by working on assignments but I also try to pass time by reading, playing playstation ect…

4. Some lecturers are being extremely helpful and giving us extra material in order for us to understand better yet at the same time some lecturers aren’t taking into account how stressful this situation is for us and won’t even answer our emails regarding queries on our work/assignments. Besides all this I feel it is up to us students to not get lazy and continue working by ourselves for online lectures are not enough to help us to get through our end of year assessments.

Gillian Darmanin (Primary school teacher)

1. The school I am currently employed with has primarily followed & complied all instructions issued by the government regarding the closure of the school. The school head and assistants have communicated with parents via email on how they were planning to assist their pupils. They in turn through consultation & collaboration with all level leaders and all teachers implemented an instruction strategy for the current situation.

2. In online learning the social interaction with the pupils is quite limited. However, having said that more and more sites have made their resources free for parents and teachers. Many have also included a section called ‘home learning’ providing videos with clear explanations as well as worksheets and answers in an attempt to provide clear instruction on the topic at hand.

3. I am communicating & collaborating regularly with other teachers through Microsoft teams and through phone calls. Trying to keep a regular routine every day and regular yoga!

4. Even though I teach in primary school, the senior leaders have taken the decision that for online teaching each teacher in a level will be subject teaching. Also, teachers have been paired up to work on lesson preparation as a team. Focusing on a particular subject helps to hone your skills in a particular area.

Supplementary material like worksheets & online libraries have been set up to encourage further consolidation of topics learnt. Also encouraging pupils to record themselves giving presentations and or reading so continuous assessment can be continued in this unprecedented situation.

N.B. Those without screenshots were asked verbally and then the answers were transcribed.

Video Format

Video Flow:

The video starts with the interviewer opening with a short monologue, describing the current situation and introducing the topic at hand (situation with students and teachers). This will lead into a series of audio clips from students from different institutes and levels of learning, each answering the same question but always adding something to the story (a new perspective).

Back to the interviewer explaining some of the students’ opinions on how the future will present itself. Then cut to more snippets of audio from the students about how they think the future will pan out (this would concern how they feel and how they think this will be resolved. We will not be writing the script for the interviewer’s sections until after the interviews themselves so we have all the information nat hand before committing ourselves.

The music should be on the mellow side while also having poppy undertones. This would be able to create a relaxing tone to the piece while also giving it a vibe appealing to a bit of a younger demographic.

The video (and article) will target a wide audience as it will not specifically be aimed at any particular demographic yet will be targeted to those who have an interest in education, the current situation, and schooling. It will also attract a general audience as it will inform the average reader on the happenings of students.

Video Locations/Footage:

· People’s homes via webcam.

· Footage found online (below are examples and resources)

· B-roll shot by Kathryn and Daniel (For example: students entertaining themselves, a lecturer teaching a lesson [without showing students], screen recording of online class)

Audio:

· https://www.epidemicsound.com/

o We have an account

Online Assets/Footage:

· https://www.youtube.com/embed/hIkCmbvAHQQ?rel=0&autoplay=1&cc_load_policy=1

·  https://www.pexels.com/search/videos/students/

·  https://www.pexels.com/search/videos/online%20work/

·  https://www.pexels.com/search/videos/at%20home/

·  https://pixabay.com/videos/search/students/

·  https://pixabay.com/videos/search/online/

·  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7euX2P-Mwk

·  https://www.videezy.com/people/37310-businesswoman-checking-product-on-stock-online

·  https://www.pexels.com/video/woman-having-a-video-call-4053047/

·  https://www.pexels.com/video/busy-woman-working-with-her-laptop-and-smartphone-3251808/

·  https://www.pexels.com/video/a-disappointed-woman-keeping-herself-busy-3709513/

TASK 2 ARTICLE (also in separate blog post)

Education in a pandemic: lack of a routine.

According to Prof. Charmaine Gauci, Malta is yet to reach it’s peak. This simple statement speaks volumes of what can be expected in not only our future as a country, but what world we will be living in through the coming months. Businesses may go bankrupt, unemployment will be on the rise, global health might take a hit as many are forced to stay indoors, and the dawn of a new recession is right around the corner. However, what about those who, in an age of technology and social media, live in the online space?

Although most students would love more free time to binge watch Netflix, the reality is that many are struggling with the new change. As lectures move to virtual platforms, life becomes a nightmare with assignments, and exams being shuffled around, with the due dates changing constantly. No one could have truly prepared for an event like this, but due to the rapid change many are beginning to feel left behind.

When confronted with the urgency of shutting down schools, actions had to be taken quickly. By prioritising the immediacy of the decisions over the consistency between them, many issues are going unsolved. When asked about how the University of Malta is handling online communication and teaching, 1st year student Elisa Gatt had this to say:

“[It] depends on the lecturer of the particular module rather than the school. Out of 9 modules: 2 do online lectures; 1 does online lectures and also sends us the recording; 4 send us recorded lectures, 1 sends us a set of notes with corresponding voice recordings; and another hasn’t sent us anything.”

Explaining the current situation in a simplified manner is confusing in itself, let alone basing one’s future education around the convolution. Many students are having to juggle this new system whilst also getting to grips with reality themselves. Even when it comes to the simple things such as video platforms, some lecturers prefer to use Zoom where others opt for Microsoft Teams or Google Meet. Having to jump from one to another between back to back lectures, all on different spaces is not only inefficient but is making it that much harder for students to find some breathing room.

It isn’t only University students struggling with the new system. Secondary school students are finding it difficult to keep up with the new workload while also finding ways to keep their sanity. A student who is currently in Form 2 was asked how they are handling this newfound stress, and simply replied that they are not. Due to a lack of online lessons, they spoke about the self-doubt that accompanies their work without proper guidance and the problems at having to organise everything and schedule their work.

The ‘blame’ cannot be pinned onto one party, as schools are trying their best to keep their students informed and on the right track. Meanwhile, teachers are trying their best to cope with the changes in tandem while also doing extra work for the sake of helping their students. With everyone struggling to regain normality, the only way forward is for all of us to support one another, to keep ourselves informed, and to focus on making it to the other side.

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Semester 1 - January 2017.

Hey readers! Welcome back to my blog. As your read this post, I’m already in my Semester 2 now, but before delay any longer and let all the old memories becoming a history, I want to share my personal experience in detail for you all. Which I did mention in my previous blogpost that I’ll write one regarding on my current Physiotherapy course. Let’s start. It was a decision made on last Christmas, 2016. Without being procrastinate, I just did it by enrolling myself into Physiotherapy course in INTI, Nilai. I remembered I was in a dilemma between doing psychology, or physiotherapy. As for law, it has been disqualified long ago. I’m glad that I did not choose that path because as soon as I realised the life of a law student, it wasn’t any of my passion. However, choosing physiotherapy wasn’t my super-confirm choice too. It was a result of “elimination” on all the tertiary courses that are available. So, I will encourage you not to be too worry or concern over what you want to study for your UNI level, I’ve only decide mine two weeks before class commence. I meant that you don’t need to stress and be confirmed of what you want to pursue, but just putting options and choices on the table is the first step. Sooner then, you’ll find favour and somehow everything just falls into place. I couldn’t find any best word to describe my semester 1, Physio in Nilai except being grateful. I’m really thankful for all that happened and I’m so blessed to be in such place, meeting the right company of friends, learn new things, strive for studies, grow under pressure and do life together. Firstly, I want to share about my group of friends. We have 16 in total. I’ve actually written in one of my old blogpost, the starting was “Let’s start talking on my degree course-mates that I met in INTI, I’m sure a lot of people have been wondering how it goes. For this first January Intake, there’s only 16 of us in Physiotherapy course. Surprisingly, it’s an odd to know that guys’ population are greater than girls who take this course for our batch. In addition to that, God’s favour is upon us. We are known to be the closest 1st Semester batch ever. It was last Tuesday, we had our very first class day trip down to Subang as an early celebration of CNY before we all head back our hometown. It was a great bonding day and eventually that outing pulled us closer to one another. I have a good feeling that we’ll be able to pull it through for the remaining 4 years of journey studying together. Be it for the great, worst or challenging moment, we’ll stay and fight to be one. I’m looking forward to greater things ahead and definitely create more memories along the way.” To continue the above story on my beloved fellow course-mates, our friendship became stronger and closer when we have planned multiple -outings, the “CNY outing”, “MitSui Outlet outing”,“Mid-valley” and “After-finals Sunway outing”. All these outing have make our bond stronger and built a memorable memories to look back one day. Moreover, we did Korean Spicy Noodle Challenge, went Karaoke, Pool playing with Bobby. Towards the end of semester, when we have some free time before finals, we somehow went Cyber café with the guys for counter strike game. For the girls of my course, we actually had two times of sleepover at Yong Jing’s house. Not forgetting one night in my room, where we had three of us squeezing in a single bed. As for our guys of my course, most of them are quite sporting and active, Wey Loc as our captain for previous sports meet has continued his role and started out a work-out plan, “Say-No-More” challenge to keep our body healthy and ensuring a productive time in Nilai. I’m really grateful to be placed in this batch of semester as the size of our class is just nice and easier to bond together. We even came out with our own short film within this semester, “Kisah Tenabi”. The purpose of this film is to serve our MPU assignment marks and for entertaining purposes, it wasn't the best product which we have planned out in the beginning because of time-limit and there's some complications throughout the process. Our script was changed twice by the lecturer because of certain reasons. A big thank you to our scriptwriter, Henri Junior who finally made this story-line a success and approved by lecturer before shooting can be further progressed. However, I want to highly appreciate and give credit to the VIP, the real hero who put double the efforts in making this drama a success - Jonathan Chew. Also not forgetting everyone who has taken part in this process of filming. It was indeed a long, time-consuming and tiring process. Yet, it's worth to see that this came to past and we made it through our little short skit. As for my club activities in INTI, I joined Taekwondo, Frisbee and Physio club (compulsory) initially. As time passed by, I have stopped going Frisbee training without any reason xD. I feel guilty. However, it’s fine for me as long as I’m still continuing my taekwondo training. I’m as proud and happy as I have successfully promoted to green belt within a year. My plan is to get black belt by 2019, before I finished my studies in INTI. In Physiotherapy, it is a 4 years duration course. Three years of theoretical studies, while the remaining one year, which is the last year is for clinical posting, as a student physiotherapist trainee. Under the first semester, there are two major subjects, which are anatomy and physiology respectively. These are the fundamental knowledge and understandings that must be acquired as a health care student. I was really encouraged along the way because I managed to achieve good result by God’s grace. I even achieved an A+ for my Anatomy subject. When I said this, I’m not trying to boast or brake about, but really really, I never would have imagine to be in such place but because of God’s favor upon me throughout the period of studying and exams. Not forgetting that I was actually in rock bottom of my life last April, May until finals approach. God is gracious and good Father, He indeed has not forsaken me when I cried out for help and His divine strength during that difficult period time of my life. As for another two minor subjects, which also counted in GPA are University English and Psychology respectively. At first, I was really unhappy of the English to be part of our course structure for this Semester. All my life, I thought language subject should have ended in my high school long ago. Yet, it proceeded to my college, and now until my Uni life. I was really frustrated and upset. However, we have no choice but to just do it. It wasn’t any easy time for me because English has always and forever a challenge for me personally. The difficult part was to write 4 essays in 2 hours’ time during finals. Apart from compulsory classes, we were privileged enough to be offered extra session, guided by our seniors to reinforce our learning and revision on our studies, known as P2P. It caters to only semester 1’s newbies. Through this time of learning, we actually gained a lot of tips and advice in how to study effectively and access material resourcefully. One of my long-waited miracle, has been answered by God after 5 months, which is the cancellation of MUET requirement for 2017 students. For my church life, I have been attending Acts church for the moment. One highlight was the Fairstival Conference, where there’re varieties of electives to learn and be eyes-opened. I thank God for Carolyn in looking after me and praying for me throughout that period time. Another woman of faith is Elisha, she is like an older sister to me and just happened to live in the same block as me. She brought me out to Palm Square for movie when I was in stress and down. She was more willing to hear from me of my struggles, life problems and direct me into God’s way and His truth. I love to hear from her as she always have great insight and her living and faith in God is forever inspiring. I feel her presence is like an angel appeared to my life in supporting me which sent by God in this season of my life which I’ve asked for. To sum everything up, it has been a great journey for the past 6 months studying in Nilai. It’s an interesting one and God has showed me his assurance and favor. I’m blessed by His favor throughout the entire semester, it will not stop there. I will hold onto God’s promises and continue to live a favorable, abundant life for the next semester and toward the time that comes.