#I only do this when no other people are around though because I feel I might get weird looks for playing peek-a-boo with my dog
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nezuscribe · 8 hours ago
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you try not to get jealous. it does you no good. but sometimes you get a little miffed when it comes to how women treat your husband, arranged!gojo.
you see how the women giggle at him, how they bite their lips whenever he walks by. you see them giggle to each other, the way they try to catch his attention.
and though most ladies of the high society act this way, some of the servants around the estate, the women of the town, and others behave like this too.
they act as if he’s not married, as if that ring on his hand is purely for decoration. and sure, maybe a couple months ago it was for show but now things have changed and you don’t appreciate those ladies all that much.
and gojo notices.
he knows you’re getting better at talking to him about what ails you, but he also knows that it’s a a lot to get used to at once. he sees the way you tense up at their whispers, the glares you throw their way when you hear his name in their conversation. he understands because he’s the same as you, his feelings mirroring yours.
so he decides to comfort your worries a bit indirectly.
“what…” you whip your head around as gojo stops at a random spot in one of the hallways, taking you away from your tea time with shoko as he fails to give any explanation for his hurried responses, “what are you doing? you have that meeting with your counsel and-”
“missed you,” is all he’s able to say as he slams his lips onto yours, earning a surprised yelp in response.
your back hits against the stone wall, one of his hands against your head to protect it from bumping back as your gasp in surprise, letting him slide his tongue in your mouth as he sloppily kisses your lips.
“satoru, w-wait,” you try to stop yourself from whining out loud, your fingers cuing into his artic strands as his hands move down to hold your waist, “it’s daytime, p-people, people can come…” you can’t speak anymore because he doesn’t let you, lips slotting against each others as your eyes screw shut, heartbeat in your throat as he hands squeeze as your skin.
“i missed you,” he just repeats, nipping slightly at your bottom lip as you mewl, feeling his lips trail down your chin to your throat as you tilt you head upwards to give him a better angle.
you almost want to laugh because it’s only been hours since you’ve seen each other, but for gojo it feels like days since he’s seen you.
you peek slightly too look at him, see the way his lips attack your skin, sucking and biting, surely leaving marks as he makes his way down. you love the way his hair is slightly wavy, most likely from his bath after sparring.
you’re almost too intoxicated from his feverish kisses to notice the sounds of incoming footsteps, but the loud overbearing giggles is what pulls you back to reality.
you tense up, scrambling to push him away from you but he won’t budge. if anything, he seems to be motivated, moving back up to your lips to steal your words away.
“t-there’s people coming!” you try to warn him but he doesn’t seem to care, his blue eyes gleaming with a different look as your whine from one of his hands moving upwards to your chest, giving one of your breasts a light squeeze.
“so?” he murmurs, lips hovering against the corners of yours as his brow cocks upwards.
you go to say something else but he tilts your chin upwards to meet him, one hand balancing on the wall behind you, one on your hip, his hair messy from your fingers gripping at him.
you don’t feel like moving, too drunk off of him to even notice the ladies as they round the corner, not looking their way as you hear their squeals of shock, the way they try to hurriedly leave.
you glance slightly to the right as gojo moves back down to your neck to get a look at them, your fingers still tangled in his hair, one hand draped over his neck, squinting slightly as you remember their faces from last week, when you overheard them talking about your husband.
there’s a slight tilt in your lips as you hear their scrambled apologies, the way they try to leave as fast as they can. you try not to gloat too much in their looks of envy and jealousy.
and if you focused just enough, you could feel the smile on his lips.
“you missed me?” you ask a little breathless, a coy tilt to your voice.
“so much,” he mumbles as he glances up at you from his white lashes, his pupils blown wide, lips messy with spit, red and swollen as he presses a slopping kiss to the slight skin showing of your chest.
“you’re so immature,” you chide, trying to look away, the hide the bashfulness in your face but his hand cups your jaw, pulling your face back down to see his.
“they had to see for themselves,” he tells you, his voice wavering on something darker, “had to see who the only lady gojo is.”
and you smile, eyes a little hazy as your fingers slightly tug on his soft strands, reveling in the way his eyes roll back and his lips find their way back up to yours.
yeah jealousy wasn’t the best. but thank the gods your husband was just as petty as you.
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ladyknight33 · 12 minutes ago
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Curently a PACU RN and had 48 hr call because Right to work states have laws saying you are signing up for this shit at will, even though the job makes you take call. One weekend I worked about 43 of those 48 hours. Another I worked 21 hours without being able to clock out. May have been only one patient at a time and periods of no patients because they were in the OR. But the point was we had to be there and awake to receive the patient whenever the OR was finished.
As a floor nurse, the 12 hours can be killer. Depends on how many patients and what kind of patients and if things go to hell. Even on relative easy nights/days, you're ready for the day to end around 3 or 4 am/pm.
On the one hand there was the thought that fewer shift changes improved continuity of care.
On the other hand, companies got rid of one third of their staffing needs and related benefits.
3 days a week is okay. On days it is better than on nights. It would be more tolerable if staffing ratios actually met the patient acuity needs.
But so long as RN/PCT/CNA/Techs or any other medical professional required to do 12 hrs is seen as a COST to the company rather than the very function of the hospital service, companies will never improve working conditions. Everything is geared towards Productivity. Productivity models that were designed for Manufacturing like Toyota.
Hospitals are a service but are being run like a manufacturing plant.
Doctors, Providers, PAs, NPs.... they have their own issues. But they have a lounge or office with food and non-alcoholic beverages provided to them. A place to go that is not in the immediate view of the patients. Some are not even in the building as they are on-call. So their 12 hrs is broken up much more with sitting around and dictating care notes. Rarely do they actually do physical labor to care for a patient beyond walking to the patient's room.
Doctors, Providers, PAs, NPs..... love you, but please answer your phone and not get annoyed when I'm calling about an issue or required notification. Or at least call back in a reasonable amount of time. Sometimes it feels like an eternity.
Here's why. A nurse will have one to seven patients depending on the unit and required care. A provider will have 20-50 or more, I haven't see the lists. Sometimes they are actually with a patient. Sometimes they are asleep (nights, on-call, expectations to work the next AM).
It is a messy system and one solution won't fix everything. More staff would be fantastic. Budgets won't adjust. CEOs C-suite level management won't give up the crazy high salaries. the CEO of one not-for-profit hospital system I worked in had a published salary of $,$$$,$$$. (Do not remember the numbers, but that's how many digits). The next one down was in the 200,000s-300,000s.
Government decided to decline or reduse reimbursement for readmissions or extended stays. Getting patients out faster is cheaper, but runs a higher risk of readmissions, which reduces payments, which reduces hospital income. Hospitals in rich areas don't see much reduction, hospitals in poor areas see large reductions and may eventually close, i.e. rural small county/regional hospitals.
Surgeons and ORs make money for the hospitals. Every other floor is lucky to break even. ICUs and ERs are more likely to loose the hospital money.
There are many people in the U.S. that don't have insurance, and will never payback their hospital bill so the hospital eats it by charging even more to the insurance companies. Why is 4 tablets of Ibuprofen hundreds of dollars when you can get a bottle of 200 mg tablets for under $20?
A nation wide insurance system where everyone who pays taxes, make it a sales tax if you're so worried about illegals getting "free healthcare," would improve on the non-payment side of things.
Stop letting CEOs make thousands of times more than their average wage employee. If there is anything about the pre1980s that was good in this monetary scenario, it was the relatively closed gap between average salary and CEO salary. And that is for any company. Not for profit is just another way of a company not paying taxes and to squirrel away the not-profits(really profits) into the salaries of the highest paid levels of management. Seriously some charities/nonprofits have crazy compensation packages. For profit companies risk being even worse.
This is a very simplistic view of the state of things. Just know that staffing can be terrible but the hostpial staff is trying to do the best they can for the patients. Please have patience for them. Retail and foodservice people get it. Holidays are hard for them.... Just as influxes of patients are hard on hospital staff. I've now been both a foodservice staff and a hospital staff.
Be kind.
--- Confessions of an RN who has learned too much and is tired. why am I getting a MSN degree?
Fucking hell why are we making people in hospitals who are responsible for the health and wellbeing of everyone work 12 hour shifts with no breaks I feel like I'm going insane does no one else see the problem here??
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xinganhao · 1 day ago
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🌸 jihoon x poetry account!reader.
the one where jihoon reads all the poems you think he'll like. headcanons & bonus content under the cut. ➤ see also: svt burner accounts series
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🌸 jihoon and the languages of love .ᐟ
jihoon claims: he can live without receiving gifts. he's never been particularly materialistic to begin with. he appreciates the bits and bobs he gets from fans, although he will also be the first to insist that no, you don't have to do this for him. spend your money on something more 'important'. save for a rainy day. he is fine without it; he is happy to just be remembered.
this is the same jihoon who will wear the socks he was given until there are holes in them. (even then, he'll try to hold on to, believing they serve their purpose.) jihoon who keeps all the gift tags from presents tucked away in a shoe box underneath his bed. jihoon who, with every poem you tweet, feels like he's receiving a little gift in itself.
jihoon claims: he's not a fan of physical touch. a lot of his members have chipped at his distaste for skinship over the years, but even then, he's not the type to seek out affection that way. he will indulge fans at fan signs. hold their hands when they ask. still, it is not something on the top of his mind when he thinks of the word 'love'.
this is the same jihoon who will stick to his members' side when they're out someplace unfamiliar. jihoon who will bear the weight of his twelve brothers' crushing bear hugs with little to no complaint, his expression exasperated but impossibly fond. jihoon who, when you mention loving the lyrics of hug, wonders briefly what that might be like— to share something like that with you.
jihoon claims: he doesn't deserve acts of service. he reasons that it's because he's nobody special. he's just a guy, not anybody you have to expend too much energy on. and he's an adult, at that, one who has always viewed himself as independent and self-sufficient in day-to-day. it's alright, he'll say. i can do it myself.
this is the same jihoon who almost cries when he realizes a blanket had been tucked over his shoulders during his sleep. jihoon who remembers like the back of his hand the snacks that his members love, the birthdays of all their own families, the names of their pets. jihoon who feels a dull ache in his chest when he thinks of people like you and what more he can do to keep you around.
jihoon claims: he's terrible with quality time. he's busy, always so busy, spending more time in his studio than anywhere else in the world. he works like he has more than just 24 hours in a day. he feels guilty at this one in particular, at the knowledge that he can only give so much of his already portioned minutes. it's the life he chose, though, and he takes care to remind himself of that every day.
this is the same jihoon who has a special ringtone set for the people he loves so no matter how deep he is in his work, he will know when he has to look up and check. jihoon who purposefully carves out time to respond to texts or meet up with someone, even if it's only for half an hour. jihoon who lets himself be selfish, lets himself be just a teensy bit greedy, when he doom scrolls through the poems you leave him. (five minutes more, he'll barter with himself. just five minutes more, please.)
jihoon claims: he could be better with words of affirmation. he tends to be blunt with his words, which may sometimes be interpreted as coldness. he jokes around sparingly. he doesn't have the cutesy text-speak, the suave pickup lines of the other members. there are days, even, when the three words that matter the most catch in his throat. when all that comes out is a helpless, flustered stutter of i— i— i— love you.
this is the same jihoon who means every damn lyric he writes. jihoon whose entire discography of love, and heartbreak, and yearning, and home, and family, is made with specific faces in mind. jihoon who stutters and stammers when it comes to saying things outright, so when it comes to you, he borrows words from people who say it better than he can; he loans quotes and phrases and lines, hoping that somehow it will all still reach you. he can be more fluent in these languages of love, he knows. but he trusts that you can hear and see what he means all the same.
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BONUS CONTENT .ᐟ
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⌗ ┆this is a slight homage to one of my favorite twitter accounts ever, poemsfornamjoon. i like to believe jihoon would also love a good poem (´• ω •`) ♡! hcs were also heavily inspired by this tweet (THE ENTIRE THREAD!!!), which i think of A Lot when it comes to jihoon: "woozi is always like, i'm so sorry i can't say saranghae. i can only write, compose and produce 100+ songs and counting for our band. i can only maintain a vast mental encyclopedia of 12 people's little things. wooahae. wooahae. wooahae. wooahae. wooahae. wooahae"
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silverynight · 3 days ago
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Gym "buddies"
Izuku's life changes the moment All Might gives him his gym membership card; he assures him he doesn't need it anymore (he's retired after all) and wants him to use it instead.
Izuku is a quirkless young man whose job is making support gear and suits for pro heroes, however, since he often wears them and tries them himself, he likes to keep himself in good condition. So far, he's been training at home, but now he has the opportunity to go to a proper gym.
He thanks the symbol of peace, hugs him, and leaves with excitement in his eyes.
However, his enthusiasm vanishes when he arrives and realizes that there are only two kinds of people in that place: very rich ones and pro heroes.
And he doesn't belong to any of those groups. After a while he decides to stay since All Might even called the place to let them know Izuku was going instead of him.
He can't disappoint him now.
Nervous, he looks around only to see Uravity and Pinky talking happily to each other; part of Izuku wants to get closer to them and ask for an autograph, but he decides to control himself.
It's not like any of them could recognize him; the pro heroes don't have the time to go in person and ask for repairs to the support department, instead, they send assistants or people who work in their respective agencies to leave the suits.
Of course, there are exceptions, there always are.
"Midoriya!"
Izuku gets slightly startled as he notices Ingenium, waving at him before walking towards where he is.
He's one of the few heroes who has met Izuku.
"Ingenium-san, hi!"
"Please, we've talked about this, just call me Iida."
He nods, cheeks turning slightly pink as he notices the pro heroes around looking at them both with curiosity.
He relaxes as soon as Iida starts talking with him, asking about his job in general and answering Izuku's enthusiastic questions about his latest missions; he's used to those already.
The next day, Uravity introduces herself and upon realizing Izuku has worked on her hero suit, she starts looking at him with admiration and awe; he doesn't think there's anything about him worth admiring, but he doesn't point that out.
He gets to know a lot of pro heroes at that gym and none of them have tried to kick him out so far, even though he doesn't quite belong there.
Izuku's first week is amazing, and he believes there's nothing that can change his mind about it until the second week.
Turns out Dynamight goes to that gym too.
Actually, he's one of the current pro heroes Izuku admires the most, so Izuku is tempted to get closer at first, until he notices the explosive hero has been staring at him the whole time since he arrived.
He can't read the blond's expression, but he assumes Dynamight doesn't like him that much so Izuku decides to keep his distance from him.
He chooses a treadmill that's at the other side of the room to get started. Izuku takes a deep breath, relaxes, and closes his eyes for a few seconds until he hears someone pressing buttons on the treadmill next to him.
He almost falls off when he notices Dynamight. However, Izuku recovers quickly and decides to pretend nothing happened.
Although he swears he can feel the blond's red eyes on him the whole time.
After a while, he goes to one of the leg press machines before he notices that Dynamight is following him closely.
"You work for Hatsume."
Alright, now that he's talking to him, Izuku can't keep pretending he doesn't exist so he turns around to face him. The guy is not only taller but clearly stronger than him.
"Yes, I'm–"
"Midoriya Izuku, I know," Dynamight cuts him off, looking like he didn't mean to. His face turns a little bit pink.
"How do you know that?" He blurts out, genuinely curious.
The pro hero starts rubbing the back of his neck like he's nervous, and he looks away from Izuku for a moment before answering his question.
"I go to her lab often because I like to know exactly what's done to my suit," he admits. "I saw you for the first time a few months ago; Hatsume told me she had a new, very talented employee and that he was the one working on my gauntlets. I got closer to ask you personally what the hell you were doing to my stuff, but you were so happily focused I couldn't... interrupt you."
Izuku notices then, the fond smile curling up the corners of Dynamight's lips, and he regrets glancing at him because he looks very handsome when he actually smiles.
"Uhh..."
"I kept going after that, but you were always so focused on your work you never noticed me," the pro hero continues, pouting a bit. He's so used to the attention he probably doesn't like when he doesn't get it.
"I'm sorry, Dynamight-san..."
"I'm Katsuki, and I want you to call me by my name, Izuku."
His own name on the pro hero's lips sounds so intimate, Izuku blushes immediately. It's even worse when Katsuki notices and smirks at him.
"Ka..." Even trying it makes him feel flustered, so of course he immediately screws it. "Kacchan!"
The pro hero looks back at him in confusion and Izuku is seriously thinking about giving All Might his membership back and never going back to that place when Katsuki chuckles as he puts a hand on his shoulder.
"Fine, you can call me that if you want."
After that Katsuki always follows him whenever he's in the gym at the same time Izuku is; he even helps him when Izuku struggles to figure out new machines and makes a very intense workout routine for him.
Izuku is sure they're very good friends now, and he often laughs at his past self for believing Katsuki hated him.
He used to think he had a bad temper, but turns Bakugo Katsuki is a very sweet guy, although Izuku knows it's better not to say that out loud.
The most surprising thing about pro hero Dynamight is that he's rather clumsy, which is really weird considering he's so precise during his battles (Izuku has watched a few of those) but at the gym he's constantly dropping things and bumping into machines, especially when Izuku has his back on him and bends over to do a particularly difficult exercise.
It's so odd.
He hears a noise behind him and turns around only to find Katsuki on the floor, face red and a little bit of blood coming from one of his nostrils.
"Kacchan, are you alright?"
"He's fine, Midobro!" Kirishima grins, looking quite amused.
"What happened?"
"He got distracted by your... leggings."
Izuku looks at Red Riot in confusion before looking down at his legs; the leggings are not that bright, they're dark red and not flashy at all. He wonders what was that interesting about them that got Katsuki distracted.
"I see that leg day has been really good on you, bro," Kirishima points out, following Izuku's eyes. "You have very thick–"
"SHUT THE HELL UP, SHITTY HAIR!" Katsuki growls, rising from the ground before standing in the middle of Izuku and Kirishima. "Do you want to die?"
"Calm down, Bakubro!" Kirishima chuckles, looking quite relaxed. He's probably used to the other pro hero's displays of irritation. "I'm just being nice to our friend!"
"Fine!" Katsuki says, but he still pushes Izuku behind himself even more, although he does it gently.
***
After an intense workout routine, Izuku ends up on the floor, exhausted. A hand touches his forehead as a big shadow looms over him for a moment.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, just give me a second, Kacchan."
The same hand appears in front of him, and Izuku wakes it without hesitation. Before he can even blink, he's back on his feet already.
Katsuki hands him a bottle of cold water.
"Thank you!" It's been barely a month, but it feels like Katsuki has known him his whole life.
Sometimes it's like he can hear Izuku's thoughts.
"Come, nerd. I'll take you to your apartment."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I have time today."
Katsuki also pays him quick visits to Hatsume's lab, and he actually stays there and talks to him. Izuku takes his break whenever he appears.
"I'm glad you finally decided to talk to your crush," Hatsume tells him the first time the pro hero draws Izuku's attention by saying his name. "It was a bit sad to watch you pine and give him the heart eyes in silence."
"SHUT UP!"
"Kacchan, relax," he chuckles, as he notices him turning bright red at the young woman's words. "She's just joking!"
Because there's no way that's true. Hatsume probably just wants to piss Katsuki off. He'd never look at Izuku with love in his eyes.
It's ridiculous.
Usually, Hatsume doesn't like having pro heroes there, but she makes an exception with Katsuki because he helps them test new gear, especially the magnetic shields she has designed for some heroes.
Besides, she likes watching things explode.
Although the number of times Katsuki is there has led to some of Izuku's coworkers getting the wrong idea about them.
Even the pro heroes at the gym ask Izuku the weirdest questions every now and then.
"We're more like... gym buddies?" Even that sounds odd coming from his mouth, Izuku has no idea why.
"I think you're saying gym boyfriends wrong, sweetie," Ashido chuckles, prompting Kaminari to laugh too.
It's a good thing Katsuki is on patrol that day; he would've gotten mad.
"No, I'm serious," Izuku says, turning bright red. "We're just friends!"
"Wow, Bakugo is an idiot," Kaminari gives Ashido a weird look.
"He totally is!" She agrees. "Anyone could try to steal this cutie if he doesn't hurry up!"
Izuku wants to tell them that their relationship is not like that, but it seems that no matter what he says they're not going to change their minds; they seem to believe Katsuki is secretly in love with him or something.
He has no idea why.
***
Izuku meets pro hero Shoto one Thursday evening; he just finished his work and headed straight to the gym.
When he sees him, he gets immediately flustered. It's not every day one gets to meet Japan's number two pro hero after all.
"Hi. I don't think I have ever seen you before."
Pro hero Shoto is very blunt sometimes.
"I've been coming here since September... so, yeah, I'm practically new here," Izuku smiles, prompting the pro hero to do the same. "I'm Midoriya Izuku!"
"Oh," finally, something akin to recognition in those mismatched eyes. "I've heard your name before. You fixed my suit last time it got destroyed by a villain, right?"
"Yes, that'd be me!"
"You did a great job. I was very impressed."
"Thank y-you, pro hero Shoto!"
"Please, call me Todoroki or just Shoto, if you want."
"Izuku!" Katsuki calls as soon as he walks in the gym. "Come here, I need to bench press you right now!"
He does that a lot lately; he uses Izuku instead of the very expensive equipment around, Katsuki assures him it's better that way, but he's not sure about that.
"I don't think that's a good idea," Todoroki comments then. "There's plenty of things you can use instead of Midoriya."
"What the hell are you doing here, half and half?"
"Toya and the old man got into a fight again," he says like it's nothing that surprises him anymore. "They were in our private gym when it happened, so it's destroyed now. It'll take a couple of days for the people we called to leave it as it was before. That's why I'm here."
Izuku is sure Todoroki doesn't say it to show off, but now he gets an idea of how rich he actually is.
He's so impressed he doesn't notice Katsuki until he's in front of him, almost like he wants to shield him from the other pro hero.
"Come with me, Izuku."
Todoroki looks from one to the other with curiosity.
"Is it really better if you try it with a person?" He asks before looking over Katsuki's shoulders, directly at Izuku: "Can I bench press you too, Midoriya?"
"FUCK OFF, HALF AND HALF!"
***
Todoroki becomes a good friend of his; he keeps coming to same gym as Izuku even after the one in his house is complete again.
Although, Katsuki gets a bit tense whenever he the three of them hang out; Izuku is not sure why, Ashido assured him they were in good terms, sure they're rivals, but they are also friends.
"Do you like half and half?"
"Absolutely, he's a great friend!"
"I don't mean it like that, nerd," Katsuki gets slightly irritated, as he usually does when Izuku doesn't understand what he's trying to say. "I mean if you like him... romantically."
"Oh!" Izuku blushes; he doesn't talk about romance around the pro hero... ever, so he gets a bit nervous, well, it's actually because the one he finds very attractive is Katsuki, but he's not going to say that. "No, I only see Todoroki as a friend."
Katsuki relaxes after that; they finish their routines like nothing happened, but the tension comes back to his shoulders after they take a shower and get ready to leave the gym.
Looking down at the floor instead of him, Katsuki takes one of Izuku's hands in his to stop him.
"What is it, Kacchan?"
"Would you like to go for a coffee with me?"
"Of course, although we usually do that!"
This time, Katsuki looks into his eyes before continuing: "No, I mean... as a date."
For a second, Izuku thinks he's dreaming, but he wouldn't blush that much in one of his dreams; he's usually more confident.
"Yes, I'd love to!"
Katsuki gives him one of those happy, devastating smiles of his before intertwining their fingers together.
Izuku needs to call All Might and thank him for that membership again, but he'll probably do that later.
He has to focus on his date with Katsuki first.
***
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idk-what-im-doing-ever · 9 hours ago
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I wrote something for this back in August and haven't been able to add to it since so I'm calling it done
The one unable to leave consecrated ground without getting possessed is on a team with the prior mindflayer victim (MF) who succumbs to their urges sometimes (consecrated girl was on the other side of the mindflayer deal).
Their friend Magical Parasite was fucked up while returning to their safe area (consecrated grounds) and then gets stopped. They're wearing a necklace, and it actively suppresses the parasite so the second it's gone, the parasite is growing again.
Parasite person starts to scream, their other cursed friend can't be in the sunlight which is rising (cursed by a vampire and they're already covered in burns because the gang was late getting back). Their consecrated ground healer friend is watching from the fenced edge of where they're safe but they're trapped, and their Parasite friend is dying without their necklace
MF friend is clearly trying to fight off their urges, but at best it's a stalemate where their body standing there, laughing and crying in this hideous, inhumane, discordant cacophony.
CG girl knows stepping out guarantees repossession, and it was so hard on her body last time, her second time, that she's likely to die when going through another inevitable exorcism.
But that's her best friend. The necklace doesn't have a backup; the 'cure' is literally the heart of the full grown parasite once it's busted out of its host - they got it from a freshly dead man. The parasite is rare.
If she can't her to her friend, she's better off shooting them from where she stands so they don't go through the agony of being torn apart from the inside.
She tries. She raises the gun. Can't even try to convey what she's thinking because Parasite Friend is already screaming, writhing.
So if they're to be saved, it has to be now.
Fuck.
She sprints, wants to punch and hurt and scream at the mindflayer who caused this, but they're dead and gone, and it's only echoes stuck in their friend. The injury would fall only on their friend.
So she yanks the corded thread from their white knuckled hand and bites back her words.
An as she kneels down to tie it around her friend's neck, she feels it.
At the centre of her spine, like the brush of a cold cats' tail on bare skin.
Don't think about that, she has to press the charm into her friend's chest, and she does. Their screaming eases to a hoarse yell, and their daily pain will be infinitely worse; their body still needs to move around, to move with the now larger foreign body spread out within it.
They can starve it out, but the larger it gets, the harder it is to do so since it's stronger, able to live longer between expansion opportunities.
MF friend collapses, begging and crying. Their vampire friend is yelling and crying, and going by the smoke on them they clearly tried to force themselves from the shadows to help before being cowed by the growing harshness of the morning light.
They can see it, she realises. Can see the dark figure that seems to be fixing itself to her back and bones. Seeping into her blood and carving a space for itself beside her soul.
The cold, feather -light touch at her spine grows to feel sharper now, and she's sure she'll be bleeding from thin, scratched lines down the middle of her back. Like the creature has to really claw its way in despite not being tangible.
She can't leave her friend to be carried by MF in case they succumb to urges again, though it's unlikely to happen so soon. So, for now, she leaves MF on the ground, hooks her arms under her friend's shoulders, and drags them to the consecrated grounds that will do nothing for her anymore.
They met mindflayer friend when the three of them killed the mind flayer. It purposely helped try to get people possessed so the town was focused on that instead of the growing cult in the gutters and alleys of society.
The healer was caught up in it, and it was their second possession; they were possessed as a child.
As a child, they were possessed by a child spirit. It was mischievous and playful, but dangerous. The exorcism was hard on her, but comparatively easy to most.
The second time was harder. It was a new spirit, smuggled into the town by the MF cult, in a vase that the healer broke when in battle. The scratch they didn't really notice at the time (they brushed away the scratchy-cold feeling thoughtlessly) didn't heal after the fight, and they started seeing something else in their reflections. Started hearing a voice and seeing a gnarled, ghastly thing in their dreams. Started acting on things they watched themselves do while fighting against it.
So she knows.
She knows she knows she knows that the MF who sometimes echoed through their friend was to blame for their dark urges. Knows they watch what their hands are doing when injuring, listen to what tongue and teeth say when biting out harsh, terrible words, and can barely stop it from being worse at best.
But that doesn't mean she can look at them when they get back to base.
The voice of the mindflayer is neutralised, after a big burst of energy like today's attack. And it's getting weaker the longer after death it is. It needs more recovery time before taking actions, and it's able to puppet their friend less and less.
But how long will they be a danger?
How long until she's a danger again?
She peels back the layers of clothing on her back and grimaces as the fabric sticks to hot, wet, tattered skin.
This might be worse than last time. This might be her last time.
What are some chronic illnesses that can only occur in a fantasy setting?
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2amriize · 2 days ago
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𖹭.ᐟ RIIZE when they see someone flirting with you ༉‧₊˚.
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pairing: bf!riize x reader — masterlist
⭑.ᐟ shotaro
It might seem like Shotaro always has a smile on his face, but there’s one thing that can instantly wipe it away: when someone approaches you to flirt. He knows how close the two of you are, and he’s confident you’d never cheat on him or anything like that. Still, the minutes that the guy was chatting with you, he simply stood quietly, watching you both from the side. He wouldn’t come over, though. But when you finally return to Shotaro, he’d flash you a big smile, acting as if nothing happened.
click to see other members reaction .ᐟ
⭑.ᐟ eunseok
Oh no, he doesn't like that. The moment he saw a guy talking to you after you came back from the bathroom, he didn’t hesitate to join you, standing right by your side with a small smile. You knew very well that Eunseok couldn’t resist letting any man know that you were his, so you figured he’d do something in front of this guy. And he did—he didn’t waste a second before cutting off the conversation and gently holding your face, kissing you slowly until the other guy felt uncomfortable enough to leave.
⭑.ᐟ sungchan
Sungchan can be very jealous, but let’s be honest—he can be a bit clueless sometimes. The second he saw another guy talking to you, he was by your side in no time. At first, you thought he’d say something to mark his territory and let the guy know you had a boyfriend (lol). But instead, he simply introduced himself and started chatting with the guy with a big smile on his face. The guy ended up stopping his flirting, but only because it now looked like he and Sungchan were the ones flirting.
⭑.ᐟ wonbin
He’s not quite sure how to react. He was only gone for a few seconds to pick up your coffee order, and when he returned, he saw a guy clearly flirting with you. You knew that the guy would leave the moment Wonbin approached—I mean, who could compete with a face like that? But Wonbin just waited for the guy to walk away on his own before coming back to you. He’s not the jealous type, and even though he’d never say it, he knew no other guy could compare to him, so he wasn’t too worried about it.
⭑.ᐟ seunghan
For him, it wouldn’t be a problem, and you’d both find it a bit funny. You and Seunghan have so much trust in each other that it’s no big deal if someone tries to flirt with you because you both know it’s pointless (you’re both too in love with each other). You’ve even had playful arguments about who got the most people flirting with them.
⭑.ᐟ sohee
Sohee wouldn’t be thrilled, either. He always says he’s not the jealous type, but you both know that’s not quite true. When he saw a guy chatting with you, he walked over, putting a hand around your waist and leaving a kiss on your cheek before looking at the guy with a smile and saying, “And you are...?”
⭑.ᐟ anton
He’d feel a bit jealous watching a guy come up to ask for your number, but he’s also well aware of how much you love him (and a little too shy to say anything to the guy). He’d slowly approach the two of you, standing quietly by your side as the guy continued talking. When you notice, you’d smile and give him a quick kiss on the lips, causing the other guy to leave pretty quickly once he realizes you have a boyfriend.
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masterlist // taglist: @regularsuh @gacktsa @totheseok @kkumistars @taroddori @enhacolor @ladylilith @electric-hearts @astrobymarwa @layluv123 @sunflowers1610 @nctrawberries @synkjellies
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goblin-jr · 2 days ago
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And then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like i love you. 
Part 10 of 12
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Synopsis: romantic getaways and breaking the peace
Pairing: unrequited JJ x Reader, Eventual Rafe x Reader
masterlist
The soft creak of the ferry’s wooden deck echoed underfoot as it began its slow departure from the Outer Banks, the promise of a day full of freedom waiting on the other side. The boat was barely half full—most of the early passengers were already lost in their own worlds, gazing out at the water or chatting with their companions. For a moment, it felt like Y/N and Rafe had the whole world to themselves, just the two of them, standing on the edge of this small, quiet boat, staring at the horizon that stretched endlessly before them.
The sun had barely risen, casting a golden light across the water that shimmered and danced with the ferry’s wake. The breeze tugged at their hair, the saltwater scent familiar and clean. Y/N stood close to Rafe, her shoulder brushing his as she leaned in, breathing in the cool air. She had never felt so content. The worry that usually followed her around like a shadow—about what people thought of her, about the secrecy, about everything that was complicated—seemed a distant memory as they stood together in this little slice of normalcy.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” she murmured, looking out at the water.
Rafe’s hand found hers, his fingers lacing through hers in a natural gesture that still felt like a small, private triumph, one they hadn’t yet shared with anyone else. He gave her a small, almost secret smile. “I told you it’d be better this way.”
Her lips curved into a teasing grin as she nudged him lightly with her shoulder. “You and your overconfidence. I didn’t expect you to be right about everything.”
“Always am,” Rafe replied with that familiar cocky grin. The sunlight caught his hair, giving him that golden glow she used to only see in her dreams—like a perfect image of a summer day, untouchable and carefree. He looked down at her, and for a moment, his expression softened. “You okay?”
Y/N met his gaze, feeling the warmth of his touch in her hand, the quietness of the moment settling over them. “Yeah, I am,” she said, her voice just above a whisper. “I feel... I don’t know. I feel like we’re finally getting it right. For once.”
Rafe squeezed her hand, then pulled her a little closer, as if keeping her near him could somehow make the world outside of their small bubble disappear. There were so many things unsaid between them, things they couldn’t say because of where they were from and who they were to each other, but in this moment, none of that mattered. Not here, on this boat, in the quiet of early morning when no one was looking and the world felt like it had paused just for them.
She let out a small breath, resting her head on his shoulder, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat under her cheek. It was simple—just the two of them, in the open air, surrounded by the vast ocean that stretched out endlessly, like an invitation to explore everything the world had to offer.
They didn’t speak again for a while, content to let the silence carry them. Rafe’s hand stayed firmly in hers, the connection between them feeling more solid with every passing second, like it was building a foundation they could keep returning to, a place where the complications of life could be left behind.
For a moment, Y/N allowed herself to believe that it could stay this way—that they could stay this way. No secrets, no shame, just them. And even though the reality of their situation lingered in the back of her mind, she didn’t want to think about it. Not now. Not here.
As the ferry picked up speed, Rafe leaned down to kiss the top of her head, a simple gesture but one that made her heart race. It wasn’t the first time he’d kissed her, but there was something about this kiss—something about the fact that they were in public, surrounded by people, yet hidden in plain sight—that felt new. She tilted her head to look at him, eyes meeting his with an intensity that spoke volumes more than words could say.
“I like this,” she whispered, voice soft but filled with meaning. “I like being with you.”
Rafe didn’t hesitate to answer, his voice low and sincere. “Me too.”
The arcade was a burst of neon colors, the rhythmic clinks and beeps of machines filling the air with energy. The walls were plastered with posters of old-school video games, and the smell of popcorn and sugar lingered in the air, adding to the nostalgic charm of the place. It was a throwback to simpler times, a spot where the world outside—full of secrets and expectations—couldn’t follow them.
Y/N and Rafe stepped through the door, and the change in atmosphere was instant. The music grew louder, the flashing lights more intense. She felt a surge of excitement, her usual nerves melting away in the warm glow of arcade lights. This wasn’t a place where they had to hide; they could just be themselves, acting like any normal couple without worrying about anyone recognizing them, without looking over their shoulders.
Rafe grinned, his eyes scanning the room as he nudged her with his elbow. “So, what’s first? Claw machine? Air hockey?”
Y/N raised an eyebrow, looking over at the claw machine, already skeptical. She had always thought they were a scam, but something about Rafe’s confidence made her curious. “You really think you can win me something?”
His grin widened, full of that familiar mischievous energy. “Just watch. I’ve got this.”
He walked over to the machine, slipping a coin in with ease and grabbing the controls. Y/N leaned against the side, crossing her arms, watching him as he manipulated the claw with surprising focus. “You sure about this?” she teased, her voice a little playful but mostly skeptical.
Rafe, however, was utterly serious as he maneuvered the claw over the prize—a plush unicorn with a glittery horn that was definitely not her first choice. “This is it,” he said, voice low and dramatic, like he was trying to summon some kind of mystical power. “This is the moment I show you how it's done.”
He pressed the button to lower the claw, his face filled with absolute focus. Y/N crossed her arms, looking skeptical. “Uh, sure. Just don’t embarrass yourself.”
But as Rafe’s hand tightened on the joystick, the claw moved in the wrong direction, then jerked to a stop, then spun around in a circle like it was on its own personal dance floor. He furrowed his brow, eyes locked on the claw, utterly convinced it would redeem itself.
“Alright, no big deal,” he muttered to himself, a bit of nervousness creeping into his voice. He adjusted his grip on the joystick, trying again. This time, the claw managed to hover just above the unicorn’s fluffy head. His fingers twitched, ready to press the button.
But instead of grabbing the toy, the claw dropped... and just barely grazed the unicorn’s ear before slipping harmlessly back into its starting position.
Y/N stifled a laugh, her lips twitching as Rafe looked at the claw machine, wide-eyed, like it had just personally betrayed him.
He didn’t look at her, but she could tell he was mentally cursing himself out. “Okay, okay, that was just a warm-up,” he said, voice defensive. “That was nothing. I’m gonna get it this time.”
She didn’t even try to hide her grin as she leaned against the machine, her voice dripping with playful sarcasm. “Yeah, sure, you’ve totally got it. This next round’s yours, I can feel it.”
Rafe shot her a quick glance before focusing all his energy on the claw. He moved it back and forth, his eyes squinting as if he could will the claw to grab the prize. When the claw lowered, it was supposed to grab a plush unicorn sitting smugly in the center, but—
It missed entirely.
The claw wobbled and jerked, like it was trying to do a dance it had never practiced.
Y/N immediately burst out laughing, leaning against the machine to keep herself steady. “Oh my god, this is priceless. You’re a natural, Rafe.”
He grimaced, his face reddening slightly. “I was just warming up,” he muttered, more to himself than to her, clearly trying to salvage his dignity. “One more try.”
With another coin dropped into the slot, Rafe took aim once more. His hands shook slightly with exaggerated seriousness, and Y/N couldn’t help but chuckle.
“This is so embarrassing for you,” she teased, her grin growing wider.
“Shut up,” he said under his breath, moving the joystick. This time, he positioned the claw directly above the unicorn. He gave the button a confident press—
And the claw dropped… only to grab a random, sad-looking stuffed snake wedged in the corner.
“No, no, no!” Rafe said, his voice rising in frustration. The claw hung the snake awkwardly in midair, before it dropped it with a dramatic clunk to the bottom of the machine.
Y/N burst out laughing, the sound echoing through the arcade. “Okay, now I’m just concerned. Are you sure you’ve seen a claw machine before? This is bad.”
Rafe shot her a look, narrowing his eyes as he pushed more coins into the slot. “Shut up, I’ve got this. You just wait.”
After another five agonizing minutes of Rafe failing to even come close to winning, Y/N was nearly crying from laughing so hard. At this point, he was getting visibly frustrated, his face redder with each failed attempt. His concentration was so intense, it was almost adorable—almost.
“I don’t understand,” he muttered under his breath. “It’s like the claw’s rigged. This is totally rigged.”
“Rafe, you’re just really bad at this,” Y/N teased, her voice full of affection and amusement. “I’m honestly starting to think the machine’s gonna make you pay for wasting its time.”
“Okay, one more try,” he said, this time with a hint of defiance. He slapped another coin into the machine with the confidence of a man who’d just spent the last ten minutes proving he had no idea what he was doing.
As he clutched the joystick once again, Y/N leaned in, a grin plastered on her face. “If you don’t win, I’m just gonna tell people I let you win at everything.”
“Not funny,” Rafe muttered, but the humor was there in his eyes. He finally got the claw to lower, and for a moment, it seemed like it was going to be the one—he was right there, the claw hovered just above the unicorn. His fingers twitched over the button.
The claw descended. And then… it grabbed a random, sad-looking plush cactus from the corner of the machine.
Rafe let out a long, defeated sigh. “I can’t win. I just… I can’t.”
Y/N’s laughter was almost uncontrollable now, tears forming in her eyes as she clutched her stomach. “You’re a disaster! I’ve never seen someone so bad at this.”
Rafe, though, was not defeated. He held the cactus up with a dramatic flourish. “Fine. You think this is a joke? I’m taking this cactus. It’s mine now.”
Y/N, still laughing, shook her head. “You’re delusional.”
He shrugged, the cactus dangling from his hand like some weird victory trophy. “It’s a sign of my character—I’m too cool for unicorns.”
But as they walked away from the machine, Y/N couldn’t help but feel a sudden rush of warmth in her chest. Rafe’s usual arrogance had given way to something more real, more human. He wasn’t perfect, and he knew it. And that made him even more endearing.
As they stopped near a wall of neon lights, Y/N reached up and gently tugged the cactus from his hand. “You’re so stubborn,” she said, her voice quieter now, a softness in it she hadn’t even realized was there. “But I like it. You know that?”
Rafe’s expression softened, just for a moment. He tilted his head, eyes meeting hers with an unexpected gentleness. “Yeah?” he asked, his voice surprisingly low.
Y/N nodded, her thumb tracing the rough fabric of the cactus’s stitches. “Yeah. You’re kind of perfect just the way you are.”
He stared at her for a second, his usual smug grin gone, replaced with something more vulnerable. “Don’t tell anyone,” he said, a chuckle in his voice, “but... I think I like it, too.”
Y/N smiled, the laughter still dancing in her chest but now accompanied by something sweeter, something more real. “Maybe next time, try the claw machine again. Just… don’t get your hopes up too high.”
—-
The sun was starting to dip lower in the sky, casting the beach in that perfect golden hour glow that made everything feel like a dream. Rafe and Y/N wandered down toward the quieter stretch of sand, away from the noisy crowds. The cool breeze off the water tangled in their hair, and for the first time in a while, everything felt just right.
“Alright,” Rafe said, kicking off his sneakers and walking closer to the water. “This feels way better than some crowded arcade.”
Y/N nodded, slipping out of her sandals and wiggling her toes into the soft sand. “Way better. We’ve got the whole beach to ourselves.”
They walked in silence for a moment, letting the waves crash softly at their feet. The world around them felt distant, and for once, the pressure of their secret relationship didn’t feel as heavy. It was just them, in this tiny bubble of peace.
“So,” Y/N began, her voice playful again as she nudged Rafe with her elbow, “how’s the cactus doing?”
Rafe glanced down at the plush cactus, which he’d tucked under his arm like it was a real pet. “The cactus is a masterpiece. It’s going to be famous one day. You’ll see.”
Y/N laughed, her eyes sparkling. “Is that what you're calling it now? A masterpiece?”
“Well, it’s a symbol of my success,” Rafe said dramatically, holding the cactus up like a trophy. “One day, I’ll sell it for millions. You’ll say, ‘I was there when Rafe Cameron won the cactus.’” He paused, looking down at the plush toy, then back at Y/N. “You’ll be proud.”
Y/N chuckled. “Sure, sure. I’ll be the proudest person in the world when that happens.”
They reached a small cluster of rocks where they could sit and face the ocean. The sound of the waves was soothing, and for a moment, they both sat quietly, just taking in the view. It wasn’t awkward, though; it felt comfortable, easy.
“You know,” Rafe began, after a long pause, “I never thought I’d enjoy a day like this.”
Y/N glanced at him, surprised by the sincerity in his voice. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know,” he said, a little more thoughtful than usual. “It’s always been about... showing off, I guess. Or doing things for the wrong reasons. I’ve always had to be someone else, or whatever. But today—today was just… us.”
Y/N smiled softly, not sure what to say at first. “Yeah,” she agreed. “It feels nice, doesn’t it?”
Rafe nodded, turning his gaze out over the ocean, the soft orange and pink of the setting sun painting the sky in vibrant streaks. “I think I’ve been spending too much time worrying about what people think. You know, trying to be this guy I’m not. But I don’t need to do that with you.”
Y/N’s heart fluttered a little at his words, the way he looked at her so honestly. “You don’t need to pretend with me,” she said softly. “I don’t care about any of that.”
He turned his head to look at her, his expression more open now. “I know. I like that. You’re different. It’s... I don’t know how to explain it, but I don’t have to worry about trying to impress you.”
She smiled, nudging him again. “You know, you don’t have to impress me. You already do.”
Rafe’s grin spread again, though this time it wasn’t the usual cocky, self-assured one. It was more genuine, softer. “I’m pretty sure I just impressed you with my cactus, but I’ll take the compliment.”
Y/N laughed. “Alright, alright, I’ll admit it. You’ve got some skills with that thing.” She paused, looking out at the ocean. “You know, I used to come out here a lot when things were tough. It helped me clear my head. It’s kind of nice, just sitting here.”
Rafe watched her for a moment, then gave a small, thoughtful nod. “I get that. I used to come out here, too, just to get away from everything. Sometimes it feels like the only place where I don’t have to be anyone but myself.”
They both sat there for a few more moments, the waves rolling in and out as the sky darkened. The world felt quieter, like time was slowing down just for them.
Rafe finally spoke again, his voice softer, more vulnerable than it had been all day. “Thanks for today. It’s... it’s been a while since I’ve had a day like this. Just being with someone, not worrying about what’s next or what people think.”
Y/N’s smile softened, her heart full as she reached out to touch his arm. “I’m glad. You deserve days like this.”
Rafe met her eyes then, and for a second, everything else faded into the background. “I’m glad it’s with you.”
The air between them felt charged, and without thinking, Y/N reached out to take his hand in hers, the simple touch making her feel grounded in a way she hadn’t expected. Rafe squeezed her hand gently, and for a long moment, neither of them said anything. They didn’t need to. The quiet between them felt just as perfect as everything else about this day.
“Alright,” Rafe said after a beat, breaking the silence but keeping that warmth in his voice. “We’ve had our deep moment. You ready to go find some real food? Because I’m pretty sure this whole ‘weird stuffed animal’ thing isn’t going to keep me full.”
Y/N grinned. “Absolutely. Let’s go get something that isn’t a cactus or a snake, alright?”
“Deal.” Rafe stood up, offering her a hand as he pulled her to her feet. “Let’s go. But next time—I’m picking the food.”
“Deal,” she said, laughing again, as they walked back toward the town, hand in hand. 
The day was slowly winding down, the golden hue of the setting sun casting long shadows over the streets of town. Y/N and Rafe wandered aimlessly, enjoying the peaceful quiet that came with the evening hours. The bustling crowds had thinned out, leaving the streets calm and serene, the perfect setting for their leisurely stroll.
They passed by shops with colorful windows, the occasional chatter of people filling the air, and for a moment, it felt like they were the only two people in the world. Rafe’s hand brushed against hers every now and then, a small but constant reminder of how close they’d become, even if they had to hide it from everyone else.
As they turned a corner, a small jewelry shop caught their attention. The display case outside was filled with delicate necklaces, rings, and bracelets, each piece glinting in the late afternoon light. There was something about the simplicity of the shop, with its vintage charm and understated elegance, that drew them in.
Y/N stopped in front of the window, her fingers lightly pressing against the glass as she studied the glittering bracelets. Some were simple, some were more elaborate, but they all held a kind of quiet beauty. She glanced up at Rafe, who had his hands tucked into his pockets, looking around the small street.
“Think we should go in?” she asked, a playful note in her voice.
Rafe raised an eyebrow, glancing over at the shop. “Are you asking me if I want to look at jewelry?” he teased, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.
Y/N shrugged, still eyeing the bracelets. “I mean, I think you might find something in there that suits you. Sparkles and all.”
Rafe laughed softly. “Yeah, well... sparkles aren’t exactly my thing. But sure, let’s see what’s in there.”
They entered the shop, the door chimes ringing lightly above them as they stepped inside. The air was filled with the soft scent of wood and polished metal. A gentle hum of calm music played in the background as they wandered among the displays, browsing through the array of jewels, none of which seemed to stand out as the piece.
After a few moments, Y/N picked up a bracelet with small, delicate charms that jingled lightly when touched. She held it up in front of Rafe, raising an eyebrow. “What do you think?”
Rafe leaned over, taking a look. “It’s... shiny,” he said, not exactly convinced. “Not really my style.”
Y/N smiled, placing it back on the counter. “Yeah, I thought so too. But it’s cute.”
They wandered for a few more minutes, picking up pieces, admiring them, but neither of them felt compelled to buy anything. The items were beautiful, sure, but the whole experience felt oddly distant—like they were pretending to be someone they weren’t.
Finally, Y/N turned to Rafe with a shrug. “I don’t think either of us is really in the mood to buy anything, huh?”
Rafe chuckled, his eyes lighting up as he gave her a playful nudge. “Nope. I don’t think I could pull off any of these anyway.”
“Not even the sparkly ones?” she teased, a grin tugging at her lips.
“Especially not the sparkly ones,” he said with mock seriousness. “But hey, it was fun just looking.”
They both laughed, and after a few more moments of lighthearted banter, they left the shop, hands still brushing occasionally as they walked back down the street, continuing their slow stroll toward the ferry.
As they approached the dock, the sun had begun to dip below the horizon, painting the sky with soft shades of orange and pink. They boarded the ferry in silence, finding a quiet spot at the railing, where the cool breeze was starting to pick up. The water shimmered in the fading light, and the soft hum of the boat’s engine was a comforting backdrop to the peaceful moment.
Rafe leaned against the railing, his eyes scanning the water as they pulled away from the shore. Y/N stood beside him, looking out at the horizon, a quiet smile on her face as the day slipped away. But even with the serenity of the moment, there was a small pang in her chest, a bittersweet feeling that the day was ending so soon.
As they stood there, the sound of the ferry’s engine humming softly in the background, Y/N glanced at Rafe out of the corner of her eye. She’d been thinking about it all day—the small thought that had lingered since they’d walked through that jewelry shop. Without saying anything, she reached into her bag and pulled out a small wrapped box. She turned to Rafe, holding it out to him with a quiet smile.
“Hey, I know we didn’t buy anything earlier, but...” she trailed off, handing him the box. “I got you something.”
Rafe blinked, clearly surprised. “You did?”
Y/N nodded, her smile widening. “I couldn’t resist. You might not love sparkles, but I thought this would look good on you.”
Rafe took the box, carefully unwrapping it with a mix of curiosity and amusement. When he opened it, he found a sleek, glittery bracelet, the kind that wasn’t too flashy, but had just enough shine to catch the light. He looked up at her, his eyes softening.
“You got me a bracelet?” he asked, a hint of disbelief in his voice.
Y/N laughed, shrugging. “It’s not a sparkly one, I promise. Just... something simple. I thought it’d suit you.”
Rafe’s lips curled into a smile. “It’s perfect, actually.” He reached out, taking her hand and slipping the bracelet onto his wrist. “I love it.”
Before she could say anything more, Rafe surprised her by reaching into his own jacket pocket and pulling out a small velvet bag. “I guess I owe you one now,” he said, his grin widening.
Y/N raised an eyebrow as she took the bag from him. “You didn’t have to—”
“I know, but I wanted to,” he said, his voice softening a little. “Open it.”
Y/N carefully untied the string, revealing a delicate necklace with a tiny, intricate pendant. It was a crescent moon, silver with a small diamond at its center, catching the last of the sunlight. Her breath caught in her throat. It was beautiful—simple, but breathtaking.
“Rafe,” she whispered, her voice barely above a breath. “It’s... it’s perfect.”
“I thought you’d like it,” he said quietly, watching her reaction. “Something to remember today by.”
Y/N smiled, her heart swelling. “I’ll never forget it. Thank you.”
They stood there for a moment, both wearing gifts from the other, feeling the quiet, shared happiness of the day slowly settling in. But as the ferry glided through the water, a quiet sadness started to creep in, an awareness that the day was coming to an end.
“You know,” Y/N said, her voice low, “this has been... one of the best days I’ve had in a while.”
Rafe nodded, his expression soft. “Yeah. Me too.”
The sound of the waves crashing against the side of the ferry filled the silence between them, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. They didn’t need to say anything else. The day had been perfect in its simplicity, just the two of them, stealing moments of normalcy in a world that often didn’t allow for it.
As the ferry neared the shore, they both felt the weight of the inevitable separation. They’d go back to stealing glances and secret rendezvous—at least for a little while. But for now, all they had was the evening, the ferry ride, and the gifts they’d given each other, which were more than just jewelry. They were reminders of a day they’d never forget.
—---
A few days later, the sun hung low over the beach, casting a warm, lazy glow as it started its descent. The Pogues were settled around a makeshift bonfire on the sand, the air thick with the scent of smoke and saltwater. The group had sprawled out in the usual way—Pope meticulously stacking sticks for later, JJ tossing pebbles at driftwood targets, and Kie stretched out on a blanket, flicking sand absently as she chatted with Y/N.
It was one of those rare, easy days when the crew could just unwind, the kind of day they all secretly loved. JJ had spent the past few minutes trying to balance a stick on his nose, to no success, though his persistence was making everyone laugh. When the stick inevitably fell to the sand, he groaned dramatically. “This is why I’ll never be a circus performer,” he announced, to a chorus of exaggerated gasps.
“I know. Total missed calling,” Y/N replied, grinning as she tossed a few pebbles toward him. Kie snorted, tossing one herself, but missed and hit Pope, who looked over with mock offense.
“Can we at least hit JJ?” Pope said, rolling his eyes before grabbing a handful of sand, aiming for JJ’s shoes instead.
Kie, lying on her side with her head resting on her arm, caught sight of the necklace Y/N was wearing. It caught the light, sparkling just enough to make Kie raise an eyebrow. “Hey, that’s new. Where’d you get that?”
Y/N instinctively touched it, a small, knowing smile creeping onto her face. She shrugged, trying to keep her response light. “Oh, just something I picked up.”
Kie’s eyes narrowed, not entirely convinced. “Really? It looks kinda... fancy for just something you picked up.”
Y/N laughed it off, brushing it aside. “What can I say? I have expensive taste.” She grinned to soften the response, hoping Kie would drop it.
Kie eyed her, but didn’t press. “Uh-huh,” she said, turning back to the group as JJ started running after Pope, both of them laughing.
Y/N’s fingers brushed the necklace again, feeling the quiet connection behind it. It was a secret, one she wasn’t ready to share, but in this moment, that was enough.
The easy laughter echoed over the water, filling the space with a calm none of them thought to question. It was the kind of afternoon that always made them feel like everything else could wait until tomorrow.
But that calm didn’t last.
A sharp ping broke through their laughter. John B had pulled his phone from his pocket and quickly checked the screen. At first, it seemed like nothing; he barely glanced at it before his thumb hovered over the side button to lock the screen again. But Y/N, perched next to him, didn’t miss the slight smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth.
She wasn’t the only one who noticed.
JJ, who was surprisingly perceptive when it came to sniffing out potential teasing material, caught the expression too and smirked, leaning in. “Yo, JB, who’s got you grinning like that?”
John B stiffened slightly, shoving the phone back in his pocket. “No one, just a…friend.”
Kie raised an eyebrow, not buying it for a second. “A ‘friend’? John B, I think you forget all of your friends are sitting right here.”
Pope snorted, nudging JJ. “Yeah, and I’ve never seen you smile like that at one of my texts, man.”
Y/N felt the tension creep up, hoping they’d let it go, but JJ was already zeroed in, leaning forward with his usual mischievous glint. He held out a hand. “Alright, let’s see this ‘friend’ then.”
John B held up his hands defensively, scoffing. “Back off, alright? It’s nothing, just a text.”
JJ wasn’t one to back down easily. With a grin, he lunged over and snatched the phone out of John B’s hand before anyone could blink, ducking back with a triumphant laugh. John B groaned, already reaching out to grab it back, but JJ sidestepped, eyes locked on the screen.
The smile faded from JJ’s face as he read, replaced by an exaggerated, delighted grin. He held up the phone for everyone to see, pointing at the screen with a loud laugh. “‘Val’ says she misses you, babe!”
“Val?” Kie echoed, her brows knitting in confusion. “Who the hell is ‘Val’?”
Pope squinted, glancing over JJ’s shoulder to read the screen. “Dude, you’re getting ‘babe’ texts from ‘Val’ now?”
“Come on, guys,” John B muttered, snatching the phone again, but JJ held it out of reach, tilting his head curiously.
Y/N quickly tried to step in. “Guys, relax. It’s probably nothing, just some weird joke between friends.”
Kie raised an eyebrow, not buying it. “Yeah, right. ‘Val’ says babe like it’s no big deal?”
Y/N, trying to keep things light, leaned over to JJ with a laugh. “Maybe it’s a nickname for someone he’s trying to impress. Like, uh, ‘Valencia,’ or some other exotic name. Very mysterious.”
JJ blinked at her. “Yeah, sure. And I’m definitely not going to ask why ‘Val’ says ‘babe’ in all their texts.”
John B was looking at Y/N, his expression torn. He gave her a pleading look, and for a second, she knew he was ready to just admit everything. She met his gaze, giving a slight, emphatic shake of her head, silently telling him: Don’t you dare tell them.
For a moment, he hesitated, torn between protecting the secret and wanting to rip off the band-aid. But then Pope’s eyes went wide as he finally connected the dots.
“Wait… ‘Val’?” Pope said slowly, his eyes narrowing as the realization began to settle in. He glanced up at John B, his voice tinged with disbelief. “That’s not just a friend, is it?”
John B hesitated, his fingers absently running over the edge of his phone as he met Pope’s gaze. “No... I’m... seeing someone.” His voice was quiet, as if he were testing the waters, waiting for the storm to hit.
Y/N's stomach twisted. She couldn’t look away from John B in that moment, the air between them thick with something unspoken. She could feel the tension in her chest as she opened her mouth, her voice barely above a whisper. “John B, please...” Her eyes begged him to stop, to not say any more, to not let this reveal itself like this.
But he didn’t look at her. He just met her gaze for a split second before turning back to the group. There was something resolute in his eyes, an unspoken promise: It’s going to be okay.
He took a deep breath and finally let it slip out. “It’s Sarah Cameron.”
Kie’s face flushed with a mix of disbelief and anger. “You’re dating her?” she practically spat, rising to her feet in shock. “After everything she and her family have done to us?”
John B looked defensive, trying to keep his cool. “It’s not like that, Kie. It’s just—”
But Kie was already shaking her head, not having it. “It’s exactly like that, John B! After all the crap her family’s put us through, and now you’re just gonna ignore it because you like her?”
“I don’t care about her family, Kie,” John B snapped, clearly frustrated. “I care about her. I’m not gonna let their problems be mine.”
Y/N, feeling the tension rise, quickly stepped in, her voice trying to keep things light. “It’s really not that big of a deal, Kie. John B’s dating who he wants to date.”
JJ blinked, his frustration still simmering. “Look, I’m not thrilled about the whole ‘Kook’ thing, but as far as Kooks go, Sarah’s not that bad. It could’ve been worse... I mean, it could’ve been someone like Ruthie or Rafe.”
Y/N’s stomach twisted at the mention of Rafe. Sure, JJ could brush off Sarah, but Rafe? That was a whole different level—one that would never be as easy to accept. She could already feel the weight of the confrontation coming, and it made her sick to her core.
But Kie was seething now, her eyes burning. “Are you serious, JJ? She’s been tearing us down for years, and you’re just gonna excuse that because John B’s having some little romance? She’s part of the problem. Her family’s the problem. And you think dating her is just fine?”
John B held his ground, though his voice was quieter now, more strained. “I don’t care what her family’s done. It’s not about them, Kie. It’s just about Sarah.”
Kie looked between John B and Y/N, her voice rising in anger. “So, what, you’re just gonna ignore all the times she’s acted like we don’t exist? Like we’re just some lower class that’s not worth her time?”
Y/N, feeling the tension reaching its peak, cut her off, her voice sharp but calm. “Look, I don’t see what the big deal is, alright? John B is his own person. He can date whoever he wants.”
That just made Kie’s anger explode even further. “You don’t see the big deal? This isn’t just about who John B is dating, Y/N. This is about everything she represents! She’s a Kook! And now you’re all just fine with that?”
JJ looked back and forth between Kie and the others, his voice quieter now as he tried to defuse the situation. “Whoa, okay, okay, let’s just all chill. Kie, we get it. But maybe yelling about it isn’t gonna make it better. It’s John B’s choice. We can’t really do anything about it.”
But Kie wasn’t having it. “You think I’m just supposed to pretend it’s okay? After everything?”
The words hit hard, and the air grew thick with tension. Kie stormed off, her steps quick and angry as she muttered under her breath. Pope hesitated, glancing at John B and Y/N before following Kie, clearly torn.
JJ, shaking his head, threw his hands up. “Man, what a mess.” He paused, glancing at John B and Y/N. “You good?”
John B let out a heavy sigh, dropping onto a rock. “Yeah… just not what I expected.”
Y/N sat down beside him, her expression softening. “You did what you had to do.”
The sun dipped lower, and the day that had begun so relaxed and carefree felt a little heavier now, the silence between them thick as the fallout from Kie’s anger lingered in the air.
—-
A/n: i wrote chapter 11 before i finished this so sorry if it seems off 😭😭😭
Anyways, val and vlad made an appearance! Is it controversial if i say they are the best couple in the show
Next time: the midsummer ball
Taglist: ​​@hockeybabe87 , @idiotussupremus , @certifiedhaters , @oatmealisweird, @sluggmuffin , @maybankslover , @ren-ni, @wh0reforbucknasty , @enjoymyloves , @bilssturns , @dragonslight , @willowpains , @sidney-86 , @urbrunettebombshell, @fluffybunnyu
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rosenotactuallyquartz · 3 days ago
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i can’t be the only one who thinks rose’s flings with humans were partially self destructive
rebecca sugar often describes rose as self destructive. people self destruct in many ways.
i say this as a girl who’s been in relationships where i knew i was treated poorly but subconsciously believed it was what i deserved. if a good person who knew me well showed interest, i’d feel confused. i think you’re so good and i’m nothing like you type of thing.
(if you couldn’t already tell, i also deal with self hatred, though i’m a lot more self aware than i used to be)
rose saw the good in everyone but herself. she was naive, impulsive, & had a tendency to “worship” those around her, believing they were better than her. she was fascinated by humans but didn’t know the norms or labels of human relationships. she didn’t know or understand much about humans, period. i.e., letting a human baby climb a ferris wheel in greg the babysitter.
rose was initially drawn to humans out of fascination. she saw so much beauty in the most simple parts of humanity.
but people don’t always have the best intentions
i can’t help but wonder if some people took advantage, knowing that rose didn’t understand everything about human relationships. for some humans, i’m in no doubt that they found her intriguing & her powers were obviously beneficial for them, but they didn’t respect her or care to try & get to know her. i’m sure some humans weren’t horrible, but clearly her connections with all of them until the 90s were unremarkable. they’d be attracted to her for surface level reasons.
rose thought this was just how human connections worked. even though it would feel…bad sometimes, rose believed she deserved to feel that way. after all, she said herself that it was “a good thing” if people didn’t know her well.
she didn’t think she deserved genuine love from someone who truly knew her, someone who knew her past self. when a relationship felt good, she’d feel guilty, despite deeply & genuinely loving that person who cared for her.
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that’s why she’s so surprised when a human treats her with decency in we need to talk. why she laughs when he says the word respect. why she says, “is this not how this works?”
she’s never had a relationship with a human that was caring & respectful. having conversations about respect & wanting to get to know a person are very simple things. this doesn’t make him “better” than any of the crystal gems—he’s just better than the other humans she knew.
as the next three years go by, rose continues to be self destructive. they don’t know about each other’s pasts & they have a shared coping mechanism: escapism. this is why sugar has said that they enable each other, which is unfortunate yet unsurprising because they cope in similar ways. she never opens up to him about her feelings surrounding past trauma, and he doesn’t either—even when some serious decisions are made. rose couldn’t stand herself & she didn’t feel deserving of love. the more people know about her, the less deserving she feels, which makes her avoidant & confusing in relationships.
nevertheless, she genuinely loves those around her, which is partly why she passes her life on to someone she believes deserves to live & be loved more than she does
as she said in nora’s tape in lion 4, i’m so excited for everyone who’s going to know you. from the very start, she believed that the best thing she could do for the people she loved was leave behind someone who deserved to be around them. someone who was worth loving.
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with all of that said i hate the way the fandom talks about her character sometimes
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zyafics-recs · 2 days ago
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i know this gonna break my heart... sigh... taking deep breaths... let's go ⬇️
It was almost easy, something he wouldn’t have believed a few years back when everything he touched seemed to go up in flames. There’d been a time when he was just too much—angry, impulsive, doing all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons.
first and foremost, i love the characterization of rafe. something about ur interpretation of him feels so lively and real, especially because it relates to his canon. when i was reading thru his thoughts, i was like, woah, rafe would act this way.
He’d been selfish, reckless, it was intense, way too intense, and when you fought, it was like you were both throwing grenades, just waiting to see who’d blow up first. You’d pushed him away, he’d pushed you harder, and you’d both crossed lines that should’ve never even been close.
i love the line throwing grenades, waiting for who to blow up first. ur metaphors have always been some of my favorites, so i always love highlighting and pointing it out <3
Rafe didn’t know what the fuck to feel when he got the news. He knew what he was supposed to feel, right? He’d done it before with his mom, now it was his dad’s turn. The man who had raised him, the one to teach him everything he knew about how the world worked, even if it wasn’t pretty. 
i love the turn of internal conflict, that rafe - who has always been loyal as a dog to ward - can have his own conflicting emotions about his father
Ward was a hard man, a strong man. The kind of guy who commanded respect, even if he didn’t always show it the way others might expect. But that’s the thing, he was a man of respect.  To Rafe, that meant something. Everything
but at the end of the day, rafe recognizes that he has to set his father on a pedestal because that's all he's ever done. all he'll ever do.
At first, it was subtle—small things. He’d catch you looking at him like you didn’t quite get him anymore. You’d pull away when he needed you to listen, when he was ranting about Ward, and even though you tried to hide it, Rafe could see the dissociation.
that actually hurts, the idea that you're dissociating, going somewhere where he can't follow u? oh the miseryyy
He wasn’t perfect, but he was the only father Rafe had ever known. He was gone all of a sudden and that was what had hurt the most—knowing he’d never get the approval he’d always been chasing, even when he was clean, even when he was doing better. There was no fixing that. 
i love u pointing out the validation-seeking 🙂‍↕️
Three weeks after the funeral he spent his days surrounded by a few bottles of scotch he’d stolen right out of his dad’s stash. Who was gonna stop him now, anyway? He almost laughed. Three years clean. Shit, that was something, wasn’t it?
this is such a bitter moment, but it's also shows how rafe just reverts back to his younger self in the presence of his father. that even if ward's death, he will continue to haunt the narrative. also, "shit, that was something, wasn't it?" was such a bitter realization.
Every time he saw himself— on a window, mirror, whatever—he had a drink in his hand, and something about it just felt terrifyingly right.
HE SAW HIS FATHER
Half the people were staring, too. Waiting to see if he was gonna go off, if he was back to the same volatile Rafe he used to be, the one they loved watching spin out. And just when he thought he could ignore it, some random pogue, scruffy, half-drunk, threw out a comment loud enough for the whole group around him to hear.
i love the depiction of seeing rafe as nothing more than a prop, an entertainment for the rest of the kooks. it gives u this zoo-like viewing of rafe rather than human.
It didn’t matter that he was twice as drunk as he should be; all that mattered was the way his father’s name was rolling off this nobody’s lips.
he's so protective over his father
“And you,” you called out, enough to silence the chatter around you. “Keep your fuckin’ mouth shut.” 
I LOVE HER FOR THIS SOMETHING ABOUT THIS OWNS MY HEART
You took a step forward, finger pointed at your chest, “Don’t I? Because I remember standing in this very house, watching him tear you down every chance he got. You’re so busy mourning this man who treated you like shit, that you’re pushing the people who care about you away. It’s not just me. It’s everyone.”
she's real and she should speak on it
“Don’t you dare roll your fucking eyes at me,” you retaliated, stepping up beside him. “I stood by you through all of it, I’m not gonna stand here and watch you kill yourself because of him. He’s the reason you felt like you had to be so perfect all the time, why you’re always trying to prove yourself to people who don’t deserve it. And now he’s gone, and you still can’t see it. You’re still trying to be good enough for him!”
i love her but god that must've hurt
His breath was shaky, too fast, but he didn’t care. “So now I’m blind, huh? I didn’t see you sneaking out the door when I needed you? I didn’t notice how you pulled back, how you stopped giving a fuck about me? You’re just waiting for me to give you an excuse to leave.”
i love that he only picked up the things that he hears, not the fact that he's blind to see it, but rather accusing him of being "dumb"
His breath was shaky, too fast, but he didn’t care. “So now I’m blind, huh? I didn’t see you sneaking out the door when I needed you? I didn’t notice how you pulled back, how you stopped giving a fuck about me? You’re just waiting for me to give you an excuse to leave.”
he has such self-destructive tendencies omg
“Don’t. Don’t you dare try to make this about me,” he spat, the words ugly in his mouth, it felt like they were scraping their way out of him. “You don’t get to make me the villain in your story just because you’re tired of playing my fucking hero.”
i love their arguments so much, because it's so bitter, and resentful, and sharp and it cuts so deep. that's one of my favorite things about this series, is when they're talking, they're going all in
That shitty plan had gone down the drain once he saw you speed away at that party with absolutely no regard for your safety or Topper’s. He’d seen that wild look in your eyes before—the one that said you were about to burn it all down. Or when your dad’s gala came around, and he couldn’t sleep properly knowing he wasn’t going to be there that year, knowing how you spiraled every time you had to step on that stage.
SOMETHINGS WRONG GO HELP HER
But how the fuck was he supposed to act when the girl who had been everything to him was hurting? 
my favorite line
He blinked, thrown off. “I broke her heart? She broke mine!” He laughed, but it was harsh, bitter. “I did us a favor. We were just—”
he's hurt too (but he's a dick) but he's hurt too 🥹
He had no reason to stay, you’d made it clear as day. He was supposed to be gone—out of your life for good. You’d told him you didn’t need him, he told you he didn’t need you. So why the hell was he still standing here? 
i love the lingering love, especially because i believe rafe to be the type of person who cannot mourn loss whatsoever, he keeps it in his chest forever, when he loves someone, he'll love them forever
“I don’t think that’s the problem,” she murmured, with a knowing sadness. “I think the problem is that you two will never stop loving each other. He’s still hurting from dad’s passing, he’s angry because he doesn’t know how to stop loving you. And you—you’re here, angry that he loved my dad so much, hurt that he left, trying to protect me from him, still worrying about me when you should be focusing on yourself. You’re scared he doesn’t care anymore, and he’s scared you don’t need him at all."
ONE OF THE BANGER LINES OF THIS PART AHHH
“You’re allowed to be someone without him, and you’re allowed to find out who that is.”
oooo i love this, sometimes i be forgetting they're toxic.
💌 — i love love their argument in this one. i love how u manage to capture rafe's essence with this characterization, especially post-ward, because i often don't read a lot of fics with ward being a dead presence but haunting the narrative. and that make rafe's viewpoint so conflicting, especially since he's trying to grieve but come to terms on who his father is. i absolutely love how u build up to their breaking point, because they have all these things festering under the surface that neither are willing to talk about until someone breaks, and that's how their relationship dynamic is. every time we get to see an insider scope of rafe's head, i am amazed, because the way he analyzes things, flowing from one thought to the next, makes sense. he's insecure, he's grieving, he's angry, and all of these emotions are hitting him at full-force and no one is allowing him the proper space to actually deal with them—especially because ward never did. and when their argument was just bitter shots at one another, just to hurt each other, you know it hurt. oh oh, gigi, u amaze and fascinate me so much!!
LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - SIX
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pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: mention of pregnancy; abortion; lack of self-care; drug and alcohol addiction;
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Rafe had been clean for the past three years.
Over the course of the year, things between him and you had been smooth sailing. 
It was almost easy, something he wouldn’t have believed a few years back when everything he touched seemed to go up in flames. There’d been a time when he was just too much—angry, impulsive, doing all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons.
He’d been selfish, reckless, it was intense, way too intense, and when you fought, it was like you were both throwing grenades, just waiting to see who’d blow up first. You’d pushed him away, he’d pushed you harder, and you’d both crossed lines that should’ve never even been close.
Eventually, both of you learned to talk instead of shouting, learned when to back down instead of pushing buttons just to get a reaction. You’d gotten better at letting each other breathe. He’d pull back when he felt himself getting heated, and you’d do the same.
It wasn’t perfect; sometimes you’d still get into it, still end up in an argument that felt like old times, but it was different. There were no more lines on the bathroom counter, no disappearing at all hours. 
Until Ward died. 
Rafe didn’t know what the fuck to feel when he got the news. He knew what he was supposed to feel, right? He’d done it before with his mom, now it was his dad’s turn. The man who had raised him, the one to teach him everything he knew about how the world worked, even if it wasn’t pretty. 
Ward was a hard man, a strong man. The kind of guy who commanded respect, even if he didn’t always show it the way others might expect. But that’s the thing, he was a man of respect. 
To Rafe, that meant something. Everything. 
Ward had shaped him, he couldn’t just forget that, couldn’t act like that wasn’t important.
At first, you were there for him, no question. 
He knew you hated Ward, you barely tolerated the thought of him even existing in the same room as you. You spent those first few weeks with him, making sure he didn’t spiral back into the shit that nearly destroyed him. He needed the support, even if he didn’t always know how to ask for it.
You were there, holding it down. You got through it, the late-night talk, but then, you started getting distant.
At first, it was subtle—small things. He’d catch you looking at him like you didn’t quite get him anymore. You’d pull away when he needed you to listen, when he was ranting about Ward, and even though you tried to hide it, Rafe could see the dissociation.
He pretended he didn’t sense it, tried to tell himself you’d come around. 
After all, this was his grief, and no one else was going to understand it the way he did. His dad had been everything to him—maybe not in the way you thought he should’ve been, but that was just the reality of it.
For the first time in years, it felt like you weren’t there with him. It didn’t make sense to him how you couldn’t see it. 
Ward had been a tough guy, sure, cruel sometimes, but he was also a provider, a father who tried to teach him how to survive, even if it didn’t always come wrapped in the right way.
He wasn’t perfect, but he was the only father Rafe had ever known. He was gone all of a sudden and that was what had hurt the most—knowing he’d never get the approval he’d always been chasing, even when he was clean, even when he was doing better. There was no fixing that. 
He wanted to mourn in peace, but no one seemed to understand why Ward still mattered to him, not even Sarah.
Three weeks after the funeral he spent his days surrounded by a few bottles of scotch he’d stolen right out of his dad’s stash. Who was gonna stop him now, anyway? He almost laughed. Three years clean. Shit, that was something, wasn’t it?
He’d had people telling him he wouldn’t make it three weeks, let alone three years. Shit, his dad sure didn’t think he’d get this far. Only you.
Rafe squinted at the amber liquid swirling in his glass, then leaned back in the worn leather of his dad’s old armchair. It felt weird being in here, in his chair, in his office, breathing in that persistent smell of old cigars and varnish.
After the whole “funeral”, with everyone looking at him like he was a wild animal about to snap, this was the only place he could sit without someone judging him.
If you’re so clean, why are you drinking yourself half to death? He took a slow sip, letting it burn down his throat. 
It wasn’t like it used to be, that high that hit fast and hard, and didn’t care if it broke him apart.
This was different, a slower, quieter process.
Besides, he was in control this time. Just a drink, he told himself, fingers tightening around the glass. No powder, no pills. That was progress.
So what if he had to take the edge off? Who wouldn’t, if they’d just said goodbye to their only living parent and had to look at their younger sisters crying like that? 
He was practically swimming in alcohol. Rafe knew he was overdoing it, but he didn’t care.
Every time he saw himself— on a window, mirror, whatever—he had a drink in his hand, and something about it just felt terrifyingly right.
Grounded.
Nobody understood him; they just kept looking at him with that worried face, like he was on the verge of losing it like he used to when he was younger. Maybe he already had.
You watched him—really watched him—and yeah, he could tell you were pissed. He saw it in that little wrinkle between your eyebrows every time he took another sip. But you didn’t say anything. 
Even Wheezie was on his case in her quiet way.
She was hanging around, throwing out old jokes and trying to make him smile, but he barely reacted. She was looking at him like she was scared, as if he was some stranger she was trying not to set off. And he hated that—God, he fucking hated it. So he kept his distance, hoped she would back off, let him get through this his way.
But then came that night at the beach bonfire, when everything changed.
He probably shouldn’t have gone, but he needed to get out and feel normal again—even if that just implied showing up and pretending, he was fine. He dragged you along, flashing that cocky grin you could see right through, but you followed anyway, probably just to keep an eye on him. He could feel it—the way you were watching him, worried as hell, that just made him want another drink.
Half the people were staring, too. Waiting to see if he was gonna go off, if he was back to the same volatile Rafe he used to be, the one they loved watching spin out. And just when he thought he could ignore it, some random pogue, scruffy, half-drunk, threw out a comment loud enough for the whole group around him to hear.
“Guess Ward Cameron finally found some gold he couldn’t buy his way out of, huh? What was he thinking, running off to some country where people don’t just take bribes? Practically killed himself.”
It took everything in him not to lunge right there, but he was too plastered to keep the anger off his face. He pushed his way over to the guy, hands clenched into fists.
“You got something you want to say to my fuckin’ face?”
The guy shrugged, muttering something under his breath, people were looking now, everyone watching to see if he was finally going to give them a show.
Before he knew what he was doing, he was shoving him back, hard enough that the dude stumbled, beer splashing out of his cup. The crowd around them stirred, murmurs, but nobody did a thing—they were just staring, waiting to see the blood spill. He felt tempted to hurt someone, felt that cameron fury crawling up his throat.
It didn’t matter that he was twice as drunk as he should be; all that mattered was the way his father’s name was rolling off this nobody’s lips.
He felt you grab his arm, long nails digging hard enough to pull him back, he jerked his shoulder, trying to shake you off, but you weren’t letting go.
“You’re gonna waste your time on him?”
Rafe gritted his teeth, but you didn’t give him a chance to argue. You hauled him back, forcing him away from the guy, who was still standing there with that smug look plastered on his face. 
“Get out. Now,” you urged him, voice calm but with the tone that even he didn’t want to test. He glared at you, mouth opening to argue, but you didn’t let him get a word in. “Rafe. Now.”
You were mad at him.
It was enough to knock some sense into him, and he let you reel him away, but not before you turned back.
“And you,” you called out, enough to silence the chatter around you. “Keep your fuckin’ mouth shut.” 
There was no bluff, no hesitation, and Rafe watched as the pogue’s smug expression dropped instantly, eyes widening as he realized you were dead serious, your family’s name always had an impact around town, old money and all.
As you dragged him to the car, he muttered that he didn’t need you playing bodyguard, but you ignored it, taking him out of the spotlight he hated but couldn’t seem to avoid.
His head was spinning, his blood boiling, and he couldn’t even look at you, not with how angry he felt.
By the time you pulled up to his house, you got out, guiding him inside with that hard, that silent determination he both hated and admired in you. 
You were there, right behind him with that look on your face—angry, disappointed, like he was missing something big, as if he was the one who didn’t get it.
He stumbled into the bathroom, holding himself against the sink, and before he could even catch his breath, you turned on the faucet and splashed cold water in his face. He jerked back, sputtering, wiping it with the back of his hand. When he looked at you, his anger burned again.
“What the fuck is your problem?” he snapped.
“My problem?” you scoffed head already shaking, “Are you serious?”
“You don’t get it,” he growled, barely controlling the rage, the shame—everything. “You don’t know a fuckin’ thing about him. I had the right to defend him.”
You took a step forward, finger pointed at your chest, “Don’t I? Because I remember standing in this very house, watching him tear you down every chance he got. You’re so busy mourning this man who treated you like shit, that you’re pushing the people who care about you away. It’s not just me. It’s everyone.”
Rafe laughed bitterly, the sound humorless. “Oh, here we go,” he muttered, rolling his eyes as he turned back to the sink, gripping the edge hard enough to make his knuckles turn white.
“Don’t you dare roll your fucking eyes at me,” you retaliated, stepping up beside him. “I stood by you through all of it, I’m not gonna stand here and watch you kill yourself because of him. He’s the reason you felt like you had to be so perfect all the time, why you’re always trying to prove yourself to people who don’t deserve it. And now he’s gone, and you still can’t see it. You’re still trying to be good enough for him!”
He didn’t look at you, didn’t want to see the indignation—or worse, the pity—in your eyes.
“Just stop,” he muttered, but you were past listening.
“No, I won’t stop. I can’t. I can’t keep watching you do this to yourself again. You’re better than this.”
He suddenly pushed himself away from the sink, and turned to face you, his blue eyes practically black with a hurt that was older and deeper than either of you could touch.
“You don’t get to stand there and tell me what I deserve.”
“I know what you deserve.” 
He scoffed, rolling his eyes again, though his face had gone a shade paler. “You think you know everything, don’t you?” he sneered. “Think you know what’s best for me? Get off your high horse.”
“You’re damn fucking right I know better than you do, I’m not the one who’s drowning every night in some pathetic tribute to a man who wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire.”
He could feel it now, the bitterness you’d been hiding for weeks. It wasn’t just about him drinking himself stupid. It was everything—every fucking thing you’d been ignoring, it had festered between you two while you pretended things were okay.
“You’re the one who’s just tired of me, of everything that comes with me.”
You took a step back, eyes narrowing, but you didn’t flinch.
“What?” Your rage momentarily dialed down, the sound gurgling, “You think I’m tired of you? I’ve been here this whole time, trying to make you see the truth, but you won’t even look at me. You won’t let me in. You’re too fucking blind to notice.”
His breath was shaky, too fast, but he didn’t care. “So now I’m blind, huh? I didn’t see you sneaking out the door when I needed you? I didn’t notice how you pulled back, how you stopped giving a fuck about me? You’re just waiting for me to give you an excuse to leave.”
You opened your mouth to argue, but he wasn’t done.
“You don’t get it! I didn’t need you to fix me, I needed someone to stay. But instead, you—" His voice cracked, the anger choking him up, "Instead, you started to make me feel like I was a b-burden. Some mess you had to clean up. How am I supposed to deal with that, huh?"
You were shaking your head, your eyes had already been filled with tears, your chest suffocating.
“I’ve been here. I’ve been standing right next to you, waiting for you to pull your shit together. I didn’t walk away. You did.
His stomach churned, as if you’d taken every inch of space in his chest and twisted it, just for fun. The worst part was, he couldn’t even argue with you. Not really. He had been so wrapped up in his own shit, so obsessed with keeping everyone out, that he hadn’t even seen how far you’d already gone.
“Don’t. Don’t you dare try to make this about me,” he spat, the words ugly in his mouth, it felt like they were scraping their way out of him. “You don’t get to make me the villain in your story just because you’re tired of playing my fucking hero.”
“I’m not trying to play the hero!” you screamed, stepping closer, your eyes were cold. “I’m trying to help you see that you have to fix this. Not me. Not anyone else. But you. And if you’re so fucking broken you can’t see that, then maybe you really don’t need me.”
The silence that followed was thick, suffocating. Rafe could feel his heart racing, that agonizing coil in his chest, but he couldn’t stop.
“Maybe you’re right,” he said, voice quieter, but just as venomous.
He turned his back on you, walking to the door. The sound of his boots clamped against the wood floor like a countdown.
“Maybe I don’t. Grab your shit and go.”
"Don’t you fucking—" you snarled, but he was already moving, grabbing your jacket off the hook by the door and throwing it your way, “You know what? Fine. Maybe I will.” You shoved that stupid thing on, hands shaking as you yanked the zipper up. “Don’t come running back in two days like you always do. Don’t come crawling back.”
Rafe paused, hand on the doorknob, his jaw clenched so hard you could see the muscle ticking.
He didn’t turn around, didn’t look back at you.
“I don’t need you to feel sorry for me.”
“Good. Because I stopped feeling sorry for you a long time ago,” you replied sharply, every syllable punctuated with weeks of resentment. “What I feel now? That’s just disappointment.”
You watched his shoulders lock up; his whole body wound so tight it was like he was one wrong look away from completely losing it. He didn’t turn around either, even as you slipped out the door, but he knew.
That was it.
Two moths later, almost three, he was standing in front of the ER pacing like a complete fucking idiot after you passed out in his arms earlier.
He’d told himself he’d stay away, make it easy for both of you. 
That shitty plan had gone down the drain once he saw you speed away at that party with absolutely no regard for your safety or Topper’s. He’d seen that wild look in your eyes before—the one that said you were about to burn it all down. Or when your dad’s gala came around, and he couldn’t sleep properly knowing he wasn’t going to be there that year, knowing how you spiraled every time you had to step on that stage.
He had stupidly thought that maybe, one day, you two could still be friends. But today? That shit blew up in his face, for the second time in the span of a week.
He forgot what you could invoke in him when you were standing merely an inch away. He promised himself that he’d moved on, forced to consider that the love of his life might not be someone he could spend his lifetime with. Maybe you weren’t meant for each other.
But how the fuck was he supposed to act when the girl who had been everything to him was hurting? 
No, no, no.
Sofia was what he needed.
Someone who didn’t know shit about his past, who didn’t ask questions he didn’t want to answer. She hadn’t seen him the way you had, hadn’t been there through every drunken rant and punch he’d thrown at the wall or someone’s face, hadn’t heard him rail against his dad or drag himself back from one of his darkest nights. 
She hadn’t called him a fucking idiot when he chose to throw his father’s ashes on the ocean. She wasn’t going to call him a coward for it. She didn’t have a clue about any of it, and that was supposed to be what he wanted.
He looked up at the ER doors for the millionth time in the past hour, his fingers clenched around his jeep keys so tight they left marks on his hand.
It was over between you two. He’d make sure to keep the fucking distance, two whole months. If he didn’t give you enough closure, you’d hate him faster and you’d both get over it. 
So why the fuck was he about to set the whole hospital on fire as he watched John B’s beat up twinkie pull up to the parking area? It shouldn’t have surprised him, but it did. 
Of course you’d call her, his own sister—his father's favorite.
Sarah had always been the golden child, Ward’s little angel who could do no wrong, while he was the family screw-up. Even now, you’d picked her, just like Ward would have. 
He didn’t think before he moved, closing the distance between him them in seconds. 
“What the fuck are you doing here?” He barked right up in her face, daring her to explain herself.
Sarah didn’t back down, though. She just looked up at him with that same cool, level expression she always had whenever he tried to get a rise out of her. 
“I’m here because she called me.”
“She called you?” He scoffed, eyebrows pulling together in disbelief. “You? She called you?” He took a step closer, “So what, you’re her savior now or some shit? Why the hell would she call you if I’m right here?” His eyes narrowed, searching her face like he couldn’t believe it. “Are you kidding me?”
Sarah threw her hands up, a look of pure exasperation on her face.
“Are you dense, Rafe? You’re with someone else! Why would she want the guy who broke her heart to drive her home?”
He blinked, thrown off. “I broke her heart? She broke mine!” He laughed, but it was harsh, bitter. “I did us a favor. We were just—”
“Oh, right. A favor?” Sarah cut in, voice dripping with sarcasm. “That why you’re pacing out here like a goddamn lunatic?”
“Go away. I’m driving her home.”
She stepped closer, her voice steely as she looked him dead in the eye.
“No. She called me, she wants me here. Not you. So do yourself a real favor and go home before you do something even more stupid.”
A breathless chuckle escaped his lips, “She already hates me, Sarah. What’s the fucking harm, huh?” He threw his arms out, as if daring her to come up with an answer that would hurt less. “What’s one more screw-up on top of everything else?”
“You’re real dumb if you believe that. But if you wanna make it worse, then by all means, go ahead. You’ll just prove her right.”
He stayed rooted in place, chest heaving, the conflict ripping him to pieces. His hands shook, his throat tight with words he couldn’t even begin to understand.
But Sarah had already turned her back on him, heading toward the entrance.
“Walk away,” she warned him, looking over her shoulder, “That’s the only thing left for you to do right now.”
Rafe didn’t know why the fuck he listened to her.
It was as if his body had already made that decision for him, understanding that if he didn’t leave right then, he’d end up doing something stupid—something even more fucked up than what he’d already done. His tongue was locked in place, a curse on the tip of his pursed lips, but it never came. 
His feet wouldn’t move, his hands stayed at his sides, and that tightness in his throat wouldn’t let him get a single word out, not one that would make any fucking sense. He hated that. Hated that you still had this kind of control over him.
Hated that he just…felt like something was wrong.
You hadn’t been this frantic, so impulsive since he had to take you home after your sister passed. He didn’t want to remember that night—you damn near threw yourself out of his truck.
But he couldn’t ignore the memory, the desperation on your face, the screams, the fight in his grip as he pulled you by your shirt back inside.
He’d felt like he was holding on to something breaking apart in his hands, something he couldn’t fix but couldn’t let go of either. He’d seen it again in your eyes when he’d caught you earlier at the beach clean-up, the way you’d tried to dodge his stare, voice cracking, legs wobbling when he mentioned the hospital. 
Rafe still felt like he’d swallowed shattered pieces of glass every time he thought about you. And if he could just push it down, if he could just get through one fucking day without looking back, maybe he’d start to forget you.
His feet were glued to the hospital pavement, his heartbeat thundering in his ears. If you were about to crash, if this was anything like before…He didn’t know what the fuck he was going to do.
He had no reason to stay, you’d made it clear as day. He was supposed to be gone—out of your life for good. You’d told him you didn’t need him, he told you he didn’t need you. So why the hell was he still standing here? 
Perhaps because he remembered the last time he’d let you walk out, the way he’d watched you disappear, thinking he was doing the right thing—giving you the clean end you’d both needed.
Maybe that made him sick to his stomach now, thinking of you in there with Sarah, telling his sister things you wouldn’t say to him, letting her be the person he once was to you.
But you’d called her, not him. You’d picked Sarah to be here, and that hurt like a bitch, but it was what he’d asked for, wasn’t it?
This was what he deserved. He told you to grab your shit and go, forced you to leave because that was supposed to make it easier.
He’d impulsively made his choice the minute he’d wrapped his arm around Sofia, pulling her close in front of everyone who’d once known he was yours. He’d talked himself into it. It was the right call, moving on was the only way to finally get you out of his system. 
He was the one who decided it’d be easier to act like he forgot you than to actually try. He thought he could make it easy—pain-free.
Rafe pinched the bridge of his nose as he walked back toward his Jeep. He gripped the door handle so hard he could break it in half if he wanted to, feeling his knuckles strain.
If he let go, if he closed that door and stormed inside, he’d just be right back where he started.
He stared at his reflection in the window, his hardened face staring back. His pulse was pounding in his temples, his gut twisting and turning as he tried to bury it all six feet under—the need to just go to you, to hold your hand or yell at you for making him care so fucking much.
He finally released the death grip he had on the door handle, forcing his fingers to relax, his knuckles still throbbing. He slid into the driver’s seat, the cold leather you’d help him choose, mocking at his skin as he slammed the door shut.
With a quick flick of his wrist, he threw the car into drive, the tires screeching as he peeled out of the parking lot.
He drove like he was being hunted down. He wanted to get as far away from that place as possible, praying the miles between him and you would stop the churning inside him. 
You’ll just prove her right.
He hated her for saying it, hated Sarah for knowing exactly what buttons to push. 
As he rounded a curve, his headlights swept across Topper’s house. Rafe cut the engine and stalked toward the backyard. Topper’s sprawled-out form on a reclining chair, arms crossed over his chest, sunglasses somehow still on evenly.
He stomped up and smacked the end of his chair.
"Wake the fuck up."
He jolted, nearly tumbling off the chair, ripping his sunglasses off and squinting up at him. “Jesus fucking christ, dude, ever heard of calling ahead?”
But Rafe didn’t answer. He just paced, hands in his growing hair, digging into his scalp like he could rip the frustration out of his skull. Topper sighed, propping himself up on one elbow, he didn’t even look at him, just kept muttering to himself, biting his lip, pacing.
“What the hell happened?”
Finally, he stopped, “I need you to find out what’s wrong with your cousin,” he muttered, not wanting to admit he cared enough to ask.
Topper blinked, brow furrowing. “What do you mean, what’s wrong with her?”
Rafe only shook his head, hands on his hips as he stared at the ground. “I don’t know, okay? She just…she’s acting off. And I can’t—I’m not supposed to care, Top. I’m not. I’m with Sofia now, alright? But she’s still…” His voice trailed off, as he scrubbed a hand down it.
Topper tilted his head, eyeing him knowingly.
“Right, yeah, whatever you say. I’ll figure it out.”
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If Sarah Cameron didn’t walk through that hospital door within the next three minutes, you’d lose all the courage you’d summoned over the last hours. Or was it just an hour? You weren’t sure how long you’d been lying there, the IV needle taped uncomfortably into your arm. 
Your fingers curled into the thin blanket draped over you, and you wished—desperately—that you didn’t feel so…empty.
Ten minutes later, she strode in with a glance at the door, as if she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to get there on time. The relief on her face when she saw you was reassuring but it only made the confusion in your chest heavier.
She was so different from Rafe, yet still looked so much like him. She sat in the chair by the bed, eyes scanning your face like she was trying to gauge just how bad it was.
“Hi.”
You swallowed, blinking up at the ceiling to keep the tears at bay.
“Thanks for coming.” 
“Of course,” She reached for your hand where it lay on top of the blanket, hesitating for a split second before giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You okay?” 
You felt a laugh bubble up, “Not even a little.”
She let out a small breath and nodded, squeezing your hand again. “I figured,” she said quietly, and you appreciated that she didn’t pretend to have some miracle answer, “I made him leave.”
She’d made him leave.
You could imagine his face distorted with anger.
You wondered if he’d put up a fight or if he’d just walked away,  giving in to his sister in that infuriating, self-pitying silence he’d perfected.
You weren’t going to ask, the less you knew, the better.
“Good.” You were relieved, but it felt bittersweet, “I didn’t want him here.” 
Except your voice shook, like it simply had to let her know you were lying.
You’d been telling yourself for so long that you didn’t need him—that you didn’t want him anywhere near you. But the second you pictured him there, waiting… God, you hated yourself.
Hated that tiny, pathetic part of you that still wanted him to care, even if it was just a sliver of anything that wasn’t anger or flat-out ignoring you.
“He threw a hissy fight, but don’t worry. He’s not coming back.”
You nodded, half in agreement, half in frustration, “He never listens.”
“Especially when it matters,” Sarah added, rolling her eyes. “I swear, sometimes I think he just likes to make things worse for himself. And everyone else.”
You recalled the sound of his footsteps trailing yours earlier, the way his hand had hovered near you when you swayed, the wild look on his face when you told him to back off. He had seemed…hurt. Like he wanted to fix something he’d already smashed to pieces.
“I don’t want to talk about him.”
She respected that—she wouldn’t insist. There was a lot to unpack when it came to Rafe, but you didn’t need to go there right now. She could tell.
"Okay. Do you want to tell me why you called me and not Topper?”
There wasn’t any judgment in her tone—just plain curiosity, confusion. And you couldn’t blame her. If the roles were reversed, you’d be asking the same thing.
You had to bite your lips to avoid crying for the hundredth time that day. You hadn’t planned on telling someone the biggest secret of your life in a public space, or after nearly having a mental breakdown.
Not like this, with the IV in your arm.
"I—" you started, the words tangled in your throat. "I don't trust him," you admitted quietly, "I don’t trust him with this.”
This.
You turned your head to look out the window, the late afternoon light pouring through the blinds, but it never touched the void you felt inside. 
“He’s too close. He wouldn’t get it. I needed someone who could just… not be involved, you know? I mean—You’re still his sister but—”
Sarah’s already frowning, interrupting your pitying party, “Sweet girl, you don’t have to explain your reasons to me. I’m listening either way. I don’t know what’s going on, but I get it, I understand why you’d want to keep him out of this.”
“You’re the only one I can trust to keep this a secret,” you confessed, “If anyone finds out—if Rafe finds out—it’s over. I’m not ready for that.”
A shadow crossed Sarah’s face, her lips pressing into a thin line. She didn’t ask questions about what you meant—about how Rafe had ruined things before. She didn’t need to. 
“I won’t tell him,” Sarah promised, her grip tightening on your skin. “It’s safe with me. I’ve got your back.”
You closed your eyes, breathing out slowly.
This was hard, harder than anything you’d ever done before, and that was saying something considering all the shit you went through when your family died. She had no idea what you were about to say, and you couldn’t help but wonder if it would change everything between you—between you and her, and you and everyone else.
"Sara, I—" The truth choked you once more, cutting you off. You couldn’t breathe.
Your chest felt vacant, something was missing, something that you didn’t know how to fix, but you had to say it. It was the only way out.
“Are you—" she started to ask, but you quickly shook your head. You could hear the hesitation in her voice.
"Just… just let me tell you,” You begged, pushing the words out before you lost them. “I-I’m pregnant,” you finally blurted out, as if confessing it all at once could make it easier.
But it didn’t. 
You didn’t dare look at Sarah right away. 
Your eyes were stuck on the ceiling, blinking rapidly, you didn’t need her to see how much this was breaking you or how terrified you were. You could feel her eyes on you now, and your hand clenched around the blanket, your knuckles white from the lack of circulation. 
Then, slowly, Sarah squeezed your hand again, she was giving you a moment to breathe, even though you didn’t feel like you deserved it.
“Rafe’s?” she asked quietly, confirming what you already knew she understood.
You nodded, not needing to say it aloud; she could sense the truth in the way your chest hitched, how you couldn’t bring yourself to meet her eyes.
“God,” Sarah breathed out, "And you... you want to...?"
You nodded again. She wasn’t asking if you were sure; you could hear it in the hesitation of her question. She was asking if you were ready to make the choice.
“I don’t want this,” you choked out, the tears finally breaking free. “I can’t have it, Sarah. I can’t. I’m not ready for that. I’m not sure I even know what I want anymore," you spit the doubt out with the brokenness you felt, wiping the traitorous tear that traced down your cheek. "I don’t know what to do."
“I’m here. Whatever you need, however you need to do this—I’m here,” she promised, making sure you wouldn’t float away.
“I can’t… I just… I don’t want him to find out,” you managed between shallow breaths. “If he knew, he’d… I don’t know what he’d do. Maybe it’s stupid, but I don’t want him to look at me like… like he owns me something.”
Sarah nodded, not a hint of judgment on her face, “He won’t know a thing from me, I swear. He’ll never have any say in this, not unless you want him to. This is your choice, no one else’s.”
You didn’t know you’d been holding your breath, but it came out all at once in a shaky exhale.
“Thank you. I just… I didn’t know who else I could ask.”
“Hey,” she said, her voice gentle. “This? This is exactly what I’m here for. I’ve got you, no matter what.”
The empathy there, the way she held space for all your broken pieces.
“New Mexico’s clinic rules… they won’t let me go through with it alone. They said I need someone with me.” You took a shaky breath. “I can’t imagine anyone else but you there, Sarah.”
“Then I’ll be there,” she said, without hesitation. “I’ll get the tickets, we’ll go together. And if you feel like breaking down, then break down, because you don’t have to keep any of this in anymore.”
Her words broke something in you that had been holding everything so tightly. The relief, the gratitude— “You’re really… You’d really do this for me?”
“Of course,” she murmured, pulling you close so your head rested against her shoulder, her fingers brushing through your hair soothingly. “Sweet girl, I’d do this a thousand times over.”
“I mean—he’s your brother. I don’t want to mess things up between you two even more.”
She sighed, giving a small, sad smile, almost like she’d been waiting for you to say that. “You think he’s my priority right now? Don’t you worry about me and him, we always figure it out. Trust me, I’m used to it.”
“He might hate me for this. And if he takes that out on you…” You couldn’t finish.
“Listen to me,” she sighed, “I’m here because I care about you. Rafe and I, we’ll always have our issues—he’s stubborn, and he thinks he has all the answers. But that’s our problem. He’ll never have a say over what I do or who I’m there for. Especially not with this.”
You swallowed hard, “I don’t want you to regret it.”
She gave a wry laugh, brushing a piece of hair back from your face. “You don’t have to protect me from him, remember? He’s my brother, yeah, I love him despite all our shit, but I’m not here for him right now. I’m here for you.”
“You’re sure?” you asked, the question a whisper, almost childlike. You were afraid of the answer, terrified she’d eventually pull away.
“Of course I’m sure,” she replied, tilting your chin so you’d meet her eyes. “Whatever’s going on with Rafe will figure itself out—But right now, you need someone who’s all in, no strings, no doubts. That’s me. You focus on you. I’ll handle him.”
You looked down at your hands, fidgeting with the edge of the blanket, “I don’t think he loves me anymore,” you admitted, almost hoping she wouldn’t hear it, “I was so mean when your dad died.”
When you finally looked up, Sarah was watching you with a sad smile, one that made your heart hurt in both comfort and ache. “You really believe that?” she asked quietly, and you could hear the disbelief in her voice as if it was so obvious to her, something you couldn’t see.
You nodded, swallowing down the sting in your throat. “He doesn’t want me, not really. He’s…he pulled away. Like he’d rather hate me than be close to me. He’s with her.” 
The words tasted bitter, and made you want to hurt him twice as bad, but there was finally some relief in saying it out loud.
She sighed, looking down for a second, almost like she was thinking how to tell you something that hurt her to admit.
“I don’t think that’s the problem,” she murmured, with a knowing sadness. “I think the problem is that you two will never stop loving each other. He’s still hurting from dad’s passing, he’s angry because he doesn’t know how to stop loving you. And you—you’re here, angry that he loved my dad so much, hurt that he left, trying to protect me from him, still worrying about me when you should be focusing on yourself. You’re scared he doesn’t care anymore, and he’s scared you don’t need him at all."
Your lips quivered, your heart about to leap out of your throat, your tongue darted out, briefly brushing your lips.
You weren’t sure you should say it out loud, but maybe you had to. “We’re better off without each other, aren’t we?”
“You’re allowed to be someone without him, and you’re allowed to find out who that is.”
You were slipping, falling back into that spiral of guilt and shame, the one that told you maybe this was all you were good for. Maybe Rafe was right to break things off, perhaps he’d realized that, in the end, you weren’t worth fighting for.
And shit, you hated yourself for still caring. For still wanting him to want you, even though you knew it was poison. Even though you knew that being with him, needing him, was only dragging you both down.
“Thank you.”
And as you sat there, in the stillness of that room, with the sunlight dimming outside, you felt that maybe someday you’d be able to trust yourself too. To believe that you were worth more than the heartache you’d come to accept as your own.
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favefandomimagines · 15 hours ago
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The Alchemy (j.m)
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Request: @mrslestappen “May I request ( shy!Kook!Reader x JJ Maybank ) pleaseeeeee, where she has been friends with the boys just like Kie, (Kie, her and Sarah were the trio of friends) and after they reconciled she is super happy because she has her two best friends back. And let's just say JJ has a soft spot for her, even though she's a kook he's always taken care of her. And they have matching necklaces (the shark tooth one, let's just say that when he got his he also created hers and they have always had matching necklaces) + kind of obsessed with her (in a nice way) and let's say because she's always been with the guys she's never really been in a relationship so imagine the reaction JJ would have if she tells him she wants him to be her first kiss (first kiss is soft, second one is hot/possesive poor JJ will devour her, because only he knows how long he waited) and the rest I'll leave it up to you. (In my head this sounded better sorry)”
Summary: she always was going to pick him, he just needed to show her.
JJ Maybank didn't think he'd ever like a Kook. Hell, he didn’t think he’d ever even tolerate one. The Kooks were the people who had everything he and the other Pogues didn’t.
They were the rich kids on the other side of the island, the ones with trust funds, yachts, and pristine lives. JJ had seen enough of their type to last a lifetime, and he was pretty sure the feeling was mutual.
Except for her.
Her name was Y/N Y/L/N, and she was the only Kook JJ had ever been able to stomach. In fact, he more than just "stomached" her — he adored her.
He couldn't remember when it started, but he was pretty sure it was around the time he realized girls were more than just annoying distractions during surf sessions.
Somewhere between scraped knees on the beach as kids and sharing late-night bonfire confessions, Y/N had become more than just his friend.
She wasn’t like the rest of the Kooks. Y/N might have lived in one of the fanciest houses on Figure Eight, but she didn’t act like it. She hung out with JJ, John B, and Pope since they were kids, running wild through the marshes and crashing parties on the Cut.
Her mom used to be close with John B’s mom before she left, which meant Y/N spent almost as much time in the Chateau as John B himself. She was their bridge between worlds, best friends with Kie and, surprisingly, even got along with Sarah Cameron after their recent reconciliation.
JJ had given her a shark tooth necklace that matched his own back when they were kids, and she had worn it ever since. The necklace was a symbol, a quiet testament to their shared adventures and secrets.
It rested just below her collarbone, a constant reminder that she belonged with the Pogues, even if she didn’t entirely fit into their world.
For the most part, JJ was content just having her around. But sometimes, like right now, with the sun setting over the water and Y/N laughing at something John B had said, he couldn’t shake the gnawing feeling in his chest that he wanted more. More than just her friendship, more than just stolen glances and the occasional accidental brush of hands.
||
It was one of those hot, sticky Outer Banks afternoons when Y/N came to find him. JJ was at the dock, cleaning up the HMS Pogue, when he saw her walking toward him. She looked like sunshine personified, with her long hair catching the light and her eyes sparkling as if she held the secrets of the universe.
“Hey, JJ,” she greeted, her voice light and carefree, but there was something nervous in the way she bit her lip.
“What’s up, Princess?” he asked, straightening up and wiping his hands on his jeans.
She fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, her fingers toying with the shark tooth necklace he had given her. “I, uh, need to talk to you about something.”
JJ’s heart sank a little, the teasing grin on his face faltering. Usually, that phrase meant bad news. “What did you do this time? Burn down another country club?”
Y/N rolled her eyes but laughed. “No, JJ, not this time. It’s… it’s about a guy.”
JJ froze. “A guy?” he echoed, feeling like the ground had just shifted beneath him.
“Yeah,” she said, her voice softening. “I… I got asked out on a date.”
JJ’s stomach dropped, the words hitting him like a punch to the gut. He’d always known this day would come eventually, but he wasn’t prepared for how much it would hurt. “Who?” he managed to ask, trying to keep his voice steady.
“His name’s Trevor. He’s new in town, just moved here from Wilmington,” she explained, her eyes flicking to JJ’s face to gauge his reaction.
He knew the guy — tall, dark hair, probably some rich Kook kid whose family had money to burn. JJ felt the jealousy bubble up, hot and fierce. “And when’s this date supposed to happen?”
“Tomorrow night,” Y/N said, her voice barely above a whisper.
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The girl he’d been in love with for years was going on a date with some random guy who had just waltzed into town. “Do you even like this dude?” he asked, trying to sound nonchalant but failing miserably.
“I don’t know yet,” she admitted, looking genuinely conflicted. “But… what if he tries to kiss me?”
JJ’s jaw clenched. “Then tell him to back off,” he snapped, his temper flaring.
Y/N sighed, her shoulders slumping. “It’s not that simple, JJ. I’ve never… I’ve never kissed anyone before.”
The admission hung in the air between them, and JJ felt his heart stutter. Y/N, the girl who could light up a room with just her smile, had never had her first kiss. It was almost unfathomable. He swallowed hard, trying to tamp down the tidal wave of emotions crashing over him.
“Y/N…” he began, not sure what to say.
“I know it’s dumb,” she said quickly, looking down at her feet. “But I don’t want to mess it up. What if I’m terrible at it?”
He wanted to laugh because there was no way in hell she’d be bad at anything. “Are you seriously asking me for kissing advice?” he asked, his voice laced with disbelief.
She looked up at him, her eyes wide and earnest. “Actually… I was hoping you could… you know… be my first kiss.”
JJ’s mind went blank. Of all the things he expected to hear, that wasn’t one of them. He stared at her, trying to wrap his head around the idea that the girl he’d been crazy about for years was asking him to be her first kiss. But not because she wanted him in that way — no, it was just so she wouldn’t screw up with some other guy.
“Y/N, are you serious?” he asked, his voice a low rasp.
She nodded, her cheeks turning pink. “I trust you, JJ. I know you won’t make it weird.”
Too late for that, he thought bitterly. But he couldn’t say no to her, not when she was looking at him like that. “Alright,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. “But if I’m gonna be your first kiss, I’m not gonna half-ass it.”
Her eyes sparkled with gratitude, and she took a step closer to him.
They stood on the dock, the sun casting golden light over the water. JJ’s heart was pounding in his chest as Y/N moved even closer, so close he could feel her breath on his skin. He could see the nervous flutter of her eyelashes, the way her lips parted just slightly.
“Just… close your eyes, okay?” he whispered, his voice thick with emotions he couldn’t quite name.
Y/N nodded, her eyes fluttering shut, her lips trembling ever so slightly. JJ took a deep breath, his hand moving up to gently cup her cheek. His thumb brushed against her skin, and he could feel her shiver under his touch.
Then, with a tenderness he didn’t even know he was capable of, JJ leaned in and kissed her.
It was soft, gentle, the kind of kiss that could be over in the blink of an eye if you weren’t careful. But for JJ, it felt like the world had stopped. Her lips were warm and soft against his, and he could feel the way her fingers clutched at his shirt, holding onto him like he was the only thing keeping her grounded.
When he finally pulled away, they were both breathing hard, their eyes locked.
“How was that?” he asked, his voice barely more than a rasp.
Y/N was staring at him, her eyes wide and dazed. “That was… perfect,” she whispered. But then, as if realizing herself, she shook her head. “But maybe… one more time? Just to make sure I’ve got it?”
JJ’s breath hitched. This time, he didn’t hold back. He kissed her again, harder, more desperate, like he was trying to pour every unsaid word and unspoken feeling into that kiss. His hands cupped her face, Y/N melted into him, her hands tangling in his hair, and he was lost. He was completely and utterly lost in her.
When they finally broke apart, they were both gasping for air. JJ rested his forehead against hers, his hands still cradling her face. “Don’t go on that date, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice raw with emotion.
Y/N looked at him, her eyes searching his. And then she smiled, that beautiful, sunlit smile that he loved so much. “Yeah… I think I need to cancel that date,” she said softly.
||
It wasn’t long before the rest of the Pogues found out. Kie was ecstatic, practically tackling Y/N in a hug when she found out, while John B just grinned knowingly. Pope was the most surprised, but even he seemed happy for them.
“Finally!” Kie exclaimed, throwing her arms around JJ and Y/N “I was wondering how long it would take you two to figure it out.”
JJ just grinned, pulling Y/N close to his side. “Better late than never, right?”
The group celebrated their newfound relationship with a bonfire at the beach, laughter and music filling the night air. JJ couldn’t keep his hands off Y/N, whether it was holding her hand or wrapping an arm around her waist. He’d spent so long wanting this, and now that he had it, he wasn’t letting go.
As the night drew to a close, JJ pulled Y/N aside, away from the others. “I’m glad you picked me,” he whispered, brushing a strand of hair away from her face.
Y/N smiled up at him, her eyes shining. “I always would have picked you, JJ. I just needed you to show me first.”
He kissed her again, slow and sweet, the kind of kiss that felt like coming home. And for the first time in his life, JJ Maybank felt like he had everything he ever wanted.
The waves crashed around them, the world fading away until it was just the two of them, lost in each other. The Pogues cheered in the background, but JJ didn’t hear any of it.
All he could focus on was the girl in his arms, the girl who had always been more than just a Kook, more than just a friend. She was everything.
And she was his.
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wonderjanga · 8 hours ago
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I’m Never Going Back to That Farm
Clark was talking to Marvel and he realized the man didn’t have anyone to celebrate Christmas with. So, he invited him over. Cause why not? Might as well spread some Christmas spirit. What he didn’t expect was…
Ma Kent: “Clark, your home!” *hugs her son*
Supes: “It’s good to see you too Ma
Ma Kent: “Oh, and who is your little friend-” *looks over to Marvel before doing a double take* “C.C.?”
Marvel: “Huh?”
Ma Kent: “Oh my God, C.C. is that really you?” *turns around to call Pa Kent* “Honey! Come here and look who Clark brought over!”
Supes and Marvel: *share a look*
Pa Kent: “What’s wrong Martha?” *comes from the kitchen* “Charley!? Is that really is you?” *rubs his eyes and looks again* “God, we thought you died in the plane crash! Also, Jesus, you’ve grown 2 feet.”
Supes: “Your name is Charley?” *looks over to Marvel*
Ma Kent: “Oh no sweetie, it’s Clarence, but this guy thought the name was too boring. So we either called him Charley or C.C.”
Marvel: “Haha… Yeah.” *oozing awkwardness*
Supes: *staring with a hint of betrayal*
As for why Clark felt betrayed? Well, his parents knew about Marvel’s entire secret identity before he even did! But, that betrayal was quickly forgotten when his Ma and Pa decided to go down memory lane and pull out a box Clark had never seen before.
Supes: “What’s all this?”
Ma Kent: “Just some old keepsakes your father and I look back on every now and then.”
Pa Kent: *pulls out a photo* “Oh I remember this one. One of my biggest races.” *shows a photo of Ma and Pa Kent, and C.C. and Marilyn all smiling at the camera while Pa Kent is holding a second place trophy*
Supes: “Are you wearing a leather jacket here? Also who’s that?” *points to Marilyn*
Marvel: “That’s my uh…” *looks to the Ma and Pa Kent before looking back to Clark* “My wife?”
Supes: “Wife?!”
Ma Kent: *ignores him* “Speaking of her, where is Marilyn? Did she not come along? Are you two still married?”
Marvel: *also ignores him* “Oh uhm… She didn’t survive the crash.” *still super awkward*
*silence*
Ma Kent: “Oh Charles… I’m so sorry.”
Pa Kent: “And the kids?”
Supes: “Kids?!”
Marvel: *continues ignoring him* “They’re doing good. Mary and Billy are twelve now.”
Ma Kent: “Oh that’s just wonderful. Say, Clark, isn’t Jon the same age as Charley’s kids?”
Supes: “He’s a year younger.”
Pa Kent: *puts the photo of the four of them back into the box* “You two should set up a little playdate.”
Marvel: “Maybe.” *awkward smile*
So now Clark is completely floored. This man that he’s known for nearly 5 years has had a wife who died??? Not only that, but he has two whole children??? Also Cap knew his parents when they were younger??? He’s definitely going to ask more about that playdate though. Jon should have more superpowered friends his age.
Later during dinner…
Pa Kent: “You know, Charley it surprises me how much you haven’t changed.”
Marvel: “Huh…? Whatdya mean?” *shoveling food in his mouth because it delicious*
Ma Kent: “Well, for starters, you look the exact same.” *little laugh as she puts more food on Marvel’s plate*
Pa Kent: “And when you’re not being super awkward, your personality hasn’t changed all that much either.”
Marvel: “You’ve noticed me being awkward?”
Supes: “It’d be kind of hard not to notice, Cap.”
Billy found out more about his parents from this one Christmas alone than he had in his entire life up until now. That is why he will not be coming back to this farm ever again. He’ll send Christmas cards, he might even send a gift or two, but never again. He doesn’t want these two to realize their friend is actually dead. They’re sweet little old people who don’t deserve that. But other than all that, Billy is super happy to find out he and his dad are very similar in personality. It makes him feel closer to the man.
Also, I went on Wikipedia to learn more about the Kent’s and apparently Pa Kent was a race car driver so in case anybody was confused about the race thing, there’s your explanation.
Also, also, as for how the Batsons and the Kents knew each other? Let’s say that Marilyn grew up in Smallville and met Martha. Then Marilyn moved away to Fawcett, but the two still kept in touch. Then both of the women met their respective husbands and they all got together to be a nice little friend group. And then, you know, the Batsons died.
Also, also, also, after this whole thing, Clark started calling Billy Charley or C.C. which made Billy violently flinch when it first happened. After a while though, he grew used to it because he’d rather be called Charley and have someone think he’s C.C. Batson instead of someone thinking he’s Billy.
Also, also, also, also, (I’m sorry I can’t help but add more) when Clark thought no one was looking, he whipped out his phone and took several pictures of the photo of the Kents and Batsons. Or more accurately, he took photos of the part of the picture with C.C. in a leather jacket. Marvel just didn’t seem like the type so he wanted recorded evidence so he could be sure he wasn’t crazy.
Alright I’m done now. Super duper early Christian post, yay!
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absolutepokemontrash · 2 days ago
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Ignore how late I am but I saw the post and I feel the the need to complain about this. A squick I have when it comes to fics and headcanons is when Belphie is completely villainized while the rest of the brothers hate him with their whole being while also depicted as perfect. And while that's annoying on its own, whenever this happens everyone else in the work also gets fucked over.
I specifically mean works where Belphie gets reduced to "the cold and callous villain who killed MC" and that's it. No acknowledging any circumstance around or about why he did it and making being manipulative his entire personality trait. And the rest of the brothers hate him for killing and manipulating MC, which I would understand more if this didn't so frequently come with them acting like they've never even hurt MC before.
The brothers love and protect MC by lesson 16, yeah, but they also almost put MC six feet under on multiple occasions themselves and only just got used to seeing humans as equals. They would be upset with Belphie for killing MC, but they wouldn't hate or never forgive him because they've been brothers long before MC got there and it would be hypocritical.
And this causes the rest of the brothers to act extremely out of character as well. Especially when it comes to why the brothers can't forgive him. Sometimes the brothers will hate Belphie for "killing Lilth" or hurting her descendant which is??? Or they'll treat MC like they're a replacement for Belphie, which is also???? And in these situations, MC acts like they're the antagonist of a replacement AU.
For some reason in works where Belphie's personality or lore gets tossed out of the window, so does everyone else's and both of these are so nerve grating to me. Okay, done complaining.
I have so many thoughts and opinions on Belphie and the fandom’s treatment of him, that I could deadass write a peer reviewed thesis on him…
TLDR: The mischaracterization of Belphie in the fandom is so rampant that I’m convinced some people writing him or complaining about him haven’t played the game.
Just to get this out of the way, Belphie’s character redemption arc suffered due to the 20 lesson limit in season one. His grand evil plan got put into motion in lesson 16, and we had to spend the entirety of lesson 17 (and into lesson 18) turning him into a viable Husbando (tm), therefore, his redemption and development was incredibly rushed.
Onto the good stuff 😈
My take on Obey Me and the brothers as a whole is that while yes, the writers have been woobifying them a whole lot, a LOT of their “toned down” behaviours can literally just be explained by them not having a *reason* to be assholes anymore because MC has done so much work to help them repair their relationships with each other.
I was raised Catholic (decently progressive Catholic, still got the fun guilt though lmao) and the way I was taught to view sin, was that it was an act of violence against someone else, and/or yourself, because there is some kind of deficiency or problem in your own life. It’s that whole “hurt people hurt people” thing, and you can literally SEE it with the brothers.
Lucifer isolates himself and puts on the persona of the tough, scary, intimidating eldest brother when in reality, he’s scared, and guilty, and fucking embarrassed about what happened with Lilith. You can see this when Luke took the Grimoire, Lucifer wasn’t acting out of rage, he was acting out of fear and disguising it, and then lashed out at Luke and MC and only stopped when Diavolo told him to because Dia is literally his boss.
Now what does this have to do with Belphie? Belphie is downright homicidal when the game starts in season one (which is why Luci locked him in the attic, to protect him AND the exchange program), now the question is “why?”
To put what Belphie has been going through in perspective: this guy has been drowning in guilt, trauma, grief, and self loathing for thousands of years. He feels guilty that Beel saved him instead of Lilith, and most importantly, he feels guilty that he led Lilith to the human world to begin with. He’s lashing out because he’s been grieving for thousands of years with no one to turn to about it BECAUSE THE OTHER BROTHERS ARE ALSO STILL GRIEVING
Now of course, this doesn’t excuse what Belphie did to MC, but it does EXPLAIN it. He’s so angry at humanity and himself that he’s the emotional equivalent of a suicide bomber. He’s self destructing and trying to take the people he’s blaming with him and praying that makes the guilt go away.
Finally, when Diavolo and Barbatos reveal Lucifer’s secret about what really happened to Lilith (how she was reincarnated and got to live a happy life as a human), this is the kick that gets ALL the brothers to finally be able to move on. We spent the entirety of season one making pacts and going on silly little adventures with everyone, all the while being the support system they needed to finally move on from their grief.
So THAT is why it makes me so angry when people act like Belphie is uniquely The Worst.
This is coming from someone who doesn’t mind writing the brothers at what I believe to be “their worst” in terms of shitty behaviour (if you want an example, look at how Asmo is currently behaving in A Lovecraftian Exchange Student). But I think characterizing Belphie as some pure evil villain is a massive disservice to him as a character. (Ignoring his survivor’s guilt and grief etc etc)
Also, to act like the other six brothers would immediately hate and despise Belphie over this is so wrong, I’m sorry but it’s grossly wrong. Belphie is their sweet baby brother, yes they love MC, but guys, especially at that point in season one, yes they liked MC, but BELPHIE 👏 IS 👏 THEIR 👏 BABY 👏 BROTHER. I think they’d be disappointed and maybe angry at him, but they’re not going to just up and abandon him, no chance about it.
I’d say the brothers didn’t truly begin to love-love MC until the end of lesson 18-20 after they’ve done some growing as people, but that’s just my interpretation.
Finally.
Y’all.
Did you forget that Belphie literally offered a pact to MC, SPECIFIED THAT IT WASNT BECAUSE OF THEIR CONNECTION TO LILITH BTW, and did this entirely of his own free will because he liked them???
Guys, a pact is offering control of the demon’s entire being! Belphie had grown enough in trusting a human to the point where he was willing to put his life in their hands!
This was so ramble-y and confusing, I’m so sorry- I just have so many thoughts about the brothers and Belphie in particular 😭😭😭
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c4ttheart · 3 days ago
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purple, inumaki toge x gn!reader
fluff. strangers to enemies to bffs to lovers, purple is your favourite color. shitty attempt at humor (this unfunny author’s fault) NOT proofread x 3.5k wc (i got carried away)
purple is your favourite color. it wasn’t always though, you used to prefer blue. the type of blue you can soar in. the type of blue you dream to swim in. or drown. the blue that was painted on the walls of your childhood room. the blue of your middle school uniform.
the first guy you liked was a douche. he liked giving you mixed signals, chatting your ear off about insignificant things one day- a simple way to get your attention- and ignoring you the next. once, you had asked about his favourite color, and he had replied purple after some thought. in the moment, you felt like it was cute, guys didn’t really often answer that. but then one of his friends nearby had laughed and exclaimed a big oooooh very loudly that had left you wondering why. it didn’t take long, because at the other end of the classroom a girl named violet was furiously blushing. you remember the way your brows furrowed as you quickly connected the dots- violet was another name for purple, or something. meaning you were not the only one he talked to, so when he asked what yours was, you were desperate to prove yourself to him. to convince him that you were better than her, more interesting. it wasn’t a very nice thing to think, now that you ponder on it, but you were in middle school. so, without missing a beat, you had replied « oh yeah, same! » maybe you had thought that having more in common with him would lead to something, or whatever. it was stupid anyways. liking him was a plot mistake. but you stuck to it, the same way your personality was (and in a way, stayed) completely attached to his.
when you met toge inumaki on your first day of high school after discovering you could do some sort of spiritual good/exorcism on what seemed to be negative emotions over the summer, the first thing he reminded you of was the normalcy of your middle school life. his eyes were of a purple so vibrant it blinded you, reminded you of why you had even agreed as to why purple was your favourite color. yet, at the same time, it left you uneasy, because you were, after all, being reminded of why you even liked it in the first place. toge inumaki looked at you and smiled on that first day, and it felt like he was applying pressure on a wound that hadn’t had the time to heal yet. you had remained impassive at his grin, and had promptly moved away from him, as if his very presence enerved you to the core. you hadn’t even shaken his hand, like you had with your fellow classmates.
toge’s world crumbled and crashed on that first day, when he saw your reluctance to be in his presence after a simple glance. he felt as if a piece of his heart had been shattered. the only reason he was in this school was to find people akin to him, that would understand him- yet you, with your piercing glaze and annoyed expression, you had promptly dismissed him the same way he had been his whole childhood. was he a freak ? a fake ? he deserved to be here. right ? so why, why had your feelings morphed into anger the second gojo had introduced him for you, since he was incapable of doing it himself, cursed speech and all. and if paining him wasn’t enough, you had to go and stomp on his pride, or whatever semblance of humanity he felt like he had left by getting along with everyone but him.
even the cursed boy that had appeared a few weeks after the start of the first year, you had taken a liking to him. everyone but toge, it seemed.
he tried to talk it out with you, well, as best as he could, but it seemed every time your eyes would lock you’d shudder away, furrowing your brows. toge wasn’t a mindreader, but he knew the expression on your face was distaste. so he rebuilt his world around you, pulling numerous pranks on you and clinging to you with a mischievous intent. it annoyed you to an extent you didn’t think was reachable.
it’s not that you hated inumaki, no, he just made you uncomfortable. well, he used to. at some point, he made you see so much red you forgot about the color of his eyes. and you weren’t the type of person to just stand back. you’d been a bypassser since you were born, and the only reason you were in this school was to stop that train of life. so you fought back. you played his coy little game and then broke down every single rule.
when inumaki added soy sauce in your drink, you’d cook for everyone but him. or you’d add soap in his dish. when he added bright dye to your shampoo, you added a lotion to lose hair in his. when he poured his water on your hair after training, you made sure to hose him down the next day. when he applied glue to your chair, you added small pins to his. when he cut off a strand of your hair, you made a big hole in his uniform pants, right where his crotch was. when he replaced your bedtime pills with foam animals, you used his toothbrush to clean the toilets. when he stole a piece of your food, you’d shove his head in his plate. while toge’s pranks were, for the most part, harmless, yours had a precise goal: humiliate him. (although you prefered the term annihilate, it sounded better.)
and apparently, you weren’t the only one suffering from inumaki’s pranks, just as he was from yours- your whole class loathed nothing more than being caught in the crossfire. (one time, panda helped inumaki replace your moisturiser with foot cream, courtesy of mean girls, the movie they had watched the night prior, and when you discovered, you sowed him to his own bed.) needless to say, they were ALL (including yuta, your sweet angel who could never hate anyone or do anything wrong) fed up with your antics. even gojo, who was amused at first, grew sick of having to comb out grains of rice from his hair from whenever the two of you would have a food fight.
so, gojo, being the genius he is (read: asshole), decided to pair the both of you up. and it would have been fine, you had worked with him before, if it wasn’t for the fact that he made sure every minute you were in class you would be together. he made sure that every single activity had to be completed in pairs, and he’d whisk yuta away whenever you would try and work with him instead. this lead to gojo’s new nickname being ‘senior citizen’, something you called him out of spite when he would not let you and inumaki work with different people. that only seemed to fuel him more, seeing as coincidentally, your chores became aligned with inumaki’s. all the time. you never got a break from the purple eyed mute, it seemed.
however, you suppose you should thank gojo in a way. thanks to him, you learned to not be bothered by the color purple in general. especially by the shade that flickered in inumaki’s pupils. you learned to resent him a little less. you learnt about him, and you learnt that it was never too late to make a new friend. however, that did not do anything but double the pranks you would pull. basically, the only thing that really changed between the two of you was that now, instead of pranking each other, it was anyone that managed to cross your mind. the way you looked at him also changed: slowly, annoyance formed into acceptance. the stars shimmering in his subtle glances never faded though.
when yuta, your sweet angel who could never hate anyone or do anything wrong left, you found a new best friend in toge. toge with his weird gelled up hair, toge with his weird manneurisms and his weird brainriot texts (god knows how many times he’d catch a ball and flash a grin that said´you ladies alright ?’), toge and his unique way of speech, toge and his weird sense of humour that, in a way, completed yours perfectly. toge with an expression so mischievous yet so patient at times you found yourself pouring out every single detail of your life till he knew every single nook and cranny of your former house, your old classroom, and most importantly, the desk where you’d exhange post its with the first guy you ever liked. why you ever disliked him. you thought that the whole reason was stupid now. toge who had also told you (in his own special way) how his childhood went. and why he didn’t like you all that much at first either. but it wasn’t resentment he had felt, it had never been. toge was sweet like that. not once did he bring himself to hate you in the beginning of the year because he didn’t know you well enough to do so.
toge inumaki thought you felt like a sharp inhale of fresh air on a particularly cold december night. it’s unfamiliar but not unwelcome. it’s good for you. it’s painful at first, but it becomes more agreeable once you get used to it. maybe you were more of a cigarette. addictive, knocking all the air out of his lungs (both metaphorically and literally, he hated sparring with you.) it doesn’t really matter what you feel like anyways. what matters is that somewhere along the weird revenges you would pull, he found himself caring for you. in the way lovers do. and now, as you’re sitting criss cross on his carpet, your back resting against his bed frame as you explain to him your villain origin story (aka your middle school lore) for the nth time, he finds himself incapable of fully listening. he hears what you are saying, but the only thing his brain is focused on is the way your lips move or how your fingers twitch and he can’t help but wonder what it would feel like if you raked your hand through his hair. or if you pressed his lips against his. or if you fell asleep near him, right here, right now, with your head on his shoulder.
and he knows he shouldn’t be thinking that way, not when you just called him your best friend, but he can’t help it. he can’t help the way his fingers itch for yours or the inhumanly fast pace of his heartbeat when you forget what boundaries are. is it selfish of him to want more ?
apparently, it is selfish. you don’t understand toge’s new behaviour towards you- it’s not like he understands this new fickle of emotion either, but he is pretty sure it is jealousy- as you gush about the ‘cute’ cashier that gave you his number. toge doesn’t think he is pleasing to the eye at all, in fact, he looks like he had to win a game of rock paper scissors to even secure a spot on this earth. his hair is flat and boring, his eyes common, and his facial harmony could probably win a negative score if he tried.
even though he knows he is clearly superior, the train ride home is quiet, too much to your liking. toge doesn’t seem to realise though, for the flock of thoughts swarming his brain is loud enough to fill the lack of conversation. but you’re not a mind reader, so to you, your platinum haired best friend just looks like a brooding mess. you quickly rule out the possibility that he might be on his period. as far as you know, toge was assigned male at birth. although maybe you should double check with panda, it’s odd for him not to be lively. when you finally realise that toge isn’t going to notice your raised brow or stop being grumpy, you plug your headphones in and lean your head on the window.
in front of you, toge wonders if maybe you’d like him more if he had straight hair. the cashier had bangs, so maybe he should get some too. he grimaced at the thought of having to throw away his expensive hair gel. he tried to distract himself because he knew the truth; you’d probably like him more if he could speak freely. but this is a destination he’s not ready to take. not now. maybe later though, in the confines of his own room. crying in front of you would probably make him change countries due to embarrassment. (he didn’t want to appear weak, especially not in front of you. you were always calm and cold headed, and you were so, so brave. and fierce. he loves that about you.)
when you finally arrive on school grounds, toge makes a beeline for his dorm, still moody from whatever bothered him during your city outing. you don’t like conflicts, and you certainly don’t like seeing your best friend upset. so after a long, tired sigh, you jog up to him, only for him to further ignore you.
« toge. tell me what’s wrong. » you urge, your footsteps growing quicker as you pace after said boy.
he groans in annoyance, throwing his hands above his head before letting them nest on his hair. you furrow your brows as him, waiting for him to turn around to face you. the hallways are strangely empty for this time of the day, but you’re glad no one will have to witness your outbursts, if that’s what it can be qualified as.
« talk to me. » you prod again, nagging him relentlessly as he visibly grows more impatient under your gaze. « you’ve been avoiding me all evening toge, i deserve an explanation ! »
he doesn’t answer to that either. no rice ball ingredient slips past his lips, and you’re growing equally distressed.
« you can tell me what’s wrong, we’re best friends after all aren’t we ? » you ask again, hoping your words will be enough to break him out of his temper tantrum.
« just shut up ! » he adds quickly, almost naturally, before you can properly finish your sentence. the aftermath of his actions is immediate as metallic can start to be tasted in the base of his throat. you’re left there, stunned, unable to open your mouth as small tears start to form on your lower lash line. no, no, no, he thinks, as he realises what he has done. he watches your hands claw at your lips, your throat, before your gaze settles on him again. all of a sudden, he is transfixed, immobile under the weight of your glare, like an ant waiting to be squashed. the beginning of the year flashes his mind, and he is left puzzled. you scoff at him, incredulous, giving up on trying to fight the effects of his cursed speech and instead waiting for it to subdue. he realises now, what the look in your eyes is. it is nothing but pure resentment, just like when you hated the color purple. he understands why a younger version of yourself crossed his mind now- there’s no mistake, your stare is the same hardened one than the first time he ever decided to prank you. stupid, stupid toge.
after a while, your vocal cords can resume their vibrations. you’re about to yell at him, he can tell, but instead, a flicker of doubt passes through you, visible through the window of your soul and that is enough to prevent cascades from falling out of his eyes. he does not want this friendship to end, not over something as trivial as this little mistake.
« what.. what happened, toge ? » you speak up, eyes glued to the floor with your eyebrows furrowed. tentatively, you continue, « you never use your cursed speech involuntarily. what made you lash out ? »
and although it feels more like you’re asking that to yourself instead of him, he finds himself pulling his phone out, already typing an explication. it’s a habit, because what is he if you don’t understand him ? what is he without you ?
he pauses before showing you the screen. 'i can’t tell you.'
« why ? »
he shrugs, but he knows why- he can’t let you go, he can’t let his jealousy get the best of him and push you away. he can’t, he can’t, he can’t, he can’t, he-
his inner thoughts are interrupted by your calloused hand coming up to touch his. he notices the way his breathing becomes less ragged at your touch, and he notices the tear that falls flat against the back of your tumb. it travels down your arm before eventually disappearing and he looks at you, watches as the purple in his irises meets yours and he wonders if you can see how big his pupils become when he looks at you. so much for not crying in front of you. wiping his eyes, he pockets his phone, still silent as ever.
« why ? » you ask again, slowly depriving him of your touch. he wants to say it so bad, to give in to your sweet nothings like he has done so many times before just to hear a hint of happiness in your voice but he can smell the rejection from where he stands, and he knows he will not be able to bear it. maybe he should write it down, type it in and hover his thumb around the send button with a practised ease, because every waking moment that is not spent with you he itches to send you that text, those three words that summarise how he feels, but he can’t. even so, you deserve better than a text. but he can’t say it out loud, no, or his knees will give out quicker than his voice.
« toge, please. » you say, looking at him with the look on your face you knew he never said no to. his expression mirrors guilt, and suddenly, it seems as though your interior slippers are the most interesting thing in the world to him, seeing as his eyes seem so hellbent as to not meet yours. you hand him your phone without a word. when he extends his palm to push it back towards you, you gently cup his face using your fingers to angle it towards you. his heart skips a beat, etching to be released of this cage of ribs, longing to be with you. you remain indifferent, ignorant to the way his pulse races. you soften your eyes at him again, delicately placing your phones in between his fingers. he shudders at the contact, yet he unlocks it like he has so many times and, hypnotised by the feeling of your warmth caressing his skin, he types the words that almost slipped out of his mouth countless times.
‘i dont want to be your best friend anymore‘ the screen reads, and you swear you can hear your heart shattering while his races in anticipation. « what- what are you saying ? »
he doesn’t reply still, so you urge on. « toge ? what do you mean ? » if this was under any other circumstance, toge would’ve probably started humming the justin bieber song. but this wasn’t any other circumstance, because although he always felt giddy around you, never had he been unable to hear the world around him due to the adrenaline rush this was providing him. he looks at you, who is looking at the screen, perplexed and on the verge of crying. he always thought he could smell the rejection, but, maybe it was only the stench of his own fear, seeing as you intertwine your pinky with his, softly yet in a way that is so demanding- your own way to tell him you don’t want him to leave.
he thinks that maybe, the impact after the fall won’t be so bad because at least he was free falling for you. he thinks of you, of how kind you are, of you nimble touches, of your preference for sunrises over sunsets, of how you hate waking up, of how you never let your tough mask crack, of how you love him, even if it’s in a platonic way and he remembers that your favourite color is purple. the same purple you used to hate and the same purple that dances in his eyes. he loves you, he has never been this sure of anything else in his life. a bitter smile makes it’s way onto his face and he pulls his collar down, mulls over his words before opening his mouth. his tongue swirls and his vocal cords hum to form the words « i love you. »
and in that moment, you know your favourite color is purple, it has been for a long time, but now it is for an all different reason.
i took two weeks to write this is insane.. at least im out of writers block (i hope) LMFOA
i think im HILARIOUS but my friends all think otherwise so please… tell me you giggled (trying to prove a point)
might be the first time i lowk like an ending btw (prolly cuz its the first thing i wrote and then i wrote the beginning and then STRUGGLED with the middle part like i was grasping onto my sheets for motivation)
ID LOVE LOVE LOVE to write a part 2 so lmk if ur interested !!
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howtofightwrite · 13 hours ago
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I'm planning on writing a Pokemon fanfic where the trainer is hard of hearing. They can speak and give commands but it is also normal for trainers to hear the opposing trainers commands and respond to that not just what they see. Which would put them at a big disadvantage, wouldn't it if they could only process visual information? I know you said stuff before about combat being too fast and people don't 'call out attacks' but that doesn't fit here. But also on the other hand, Pokemon don't alwa
But also on the other hand, Pokemon don't always obey their their trainers (usually a trust issue) but perhaps this actually could be a good thing and help turn that disadvantage around since if they trust each other enough for the Pokemon to respond appropriately by themselves if they feel the trainer is making a bad call or not quick enough to respond to an attack called out by the opposing trainer. What do you think? Any other ideas?
Something to remember: Pokemon is a game. I don't mean in the meta-sense that the anime and ancillary materials are based off of the video game and card game, the way you could, for example, describe the Fallout TV series as based on a game. I mean, literally, that the structure of Pokemon itself is a competitive game.
When you start stripping it apart, and really dig into the structure, combat in pokemon is a game where the trainers are the players, and their pokemon are the pieces they're using on the board. This is an important concept to grasp when you're dissecting the material, because it informs why it functions.
There is a concept in games called an action stack. When you're playing a strategically intensive game, you'll often come across some version of this concept. Basically, you announce your action to your opponent, they then get an opportunity to take a legal response (if one exists), and then the action resolves. In situations like this, calling out your actions is a necessary step in keeping your opponent apprised of changes in the game state. It's also (often) necessary as a step to give them the opportunity to respond (whether that's part of the same action stack, or as a following action.)
Now, much like in Pokemon, in casual games, these kinds of declarations, and even the structure of the action stack itself, can become very ad hoc. You wouldn't do this in a tournament environment, but in casual circumstances you'll see players doing things like say, “I'm playing this,” or just drop the card on the table as part of their appropriate action window. (Though, again, this behavior is extremely rude in a tournament environment.)
As you mentioned, the instructions given by the trainer is, technically, for the Pokemon's benefit, rather than the opponent. Also, pieces on the board not following the player's commands is a concept that does exist in some tabletop games. For example: if you botch a Leadership test in Warhammer, you're not going to get the results you were hoping for.
So in this specific case, being privy to your opponent's actions ahead of time is really more an example of intelligence gathering (even though it's at a very limited level.) And, this is, absolutely, a consideration in competitive games. If you can accurately predict your opponent's next action it can let you take preemptive steps to mitigate their move, or even outright prevent them from doing what they want.
Not being able to collect intelligence conventionally is a little bit of a problem, but it's not necessarily a deal breaker. A lot of the time, intelligence gathering in games (for an experienced player) is testing limited information against extensive system knowledge to make educated guesses about what your opponent will do. If you have awareness of the board, you don't always need to actually have specific knowledge about what your opponent is planning. Meaning, if they're extremely knowledgeable about what's out there, they might not need to hear their opponents' every command. With enough familiarity, each pokemon is recognizable on sight, and they have limited move options determined by their appearance (with the occasional outlier or exception.)
Also, lipreading is a thing. It's a lot harder when you're just sampling general use of the language, but when you're looking at a limited number of individual words (and you know which words could be issued because of the aforementioned system knowledge) it can become quite possible for someone to pick out what a trainer is telling their pokemon, even if they wouldn't be able to hear the words normally (or lipread a stray conversation between strangers.)
Incidentally, if you're thinking that it's unreasonable for someone to have the stat sheets for over 1k pokemon committed to memory, that's in line with what you need to have committed to memory for a number of competitive games, if you're operating at a high level. Chances are, if you're a highly ranked M:TG player, you'll probably have at least 2-3k cards committed to memory even if you can't use them in Modern anymore.
-Starke
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b3ach-bunn7 · 2 days ago
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JAPANESE DENIM PT 2
The three days you spend in the castle before you wedding with Prince Satoru
Royal!AU, fluff, JJK
——————————————————————————
Your new temporary bedroom is so unlived in it makes you uncomfortable. You sleep on sheets that are too stiff and a blanket too big and woollen that heats you up impossibly every night. You’re to stay here for the three nights until your wedding, where you’ll then be sharing a room with your husband. You are not to see each other until then, some silly tradition you find yourself somewhat reluctant to follow. 
Your new lady in waiting, Nobara, tells you about the castle, the people, who runs the gossip mill. You feel overwhelmed as she takes you on a tour of the castle. You admire the large gardens, the extravagant rooms and corridors that look like experts from the fantasy books you spend your nights reading. The maids in the kitchen and the soldiers around the halls all bow to you, and you smile, skin prickling at all the attention.
Nobara, you realise quickly, is loud and talkative. You don’t think it’s necessarily normal for a lady in waiting to be so full of energy, but she’s young, and the casual way she talks to you is a welcome thing. She feels more like a friend as she chats to you about her two knight friends, the two boys you’d seen at the ball. She’s far enough in age to you that you feel a little sisterly to her.
You thank the setting of the sun, tired of greeting and meeting so many new people. You’re about to get in bed. You’re wearing a too short and too sheer nightgown, lacy pink material that fluffs up around your legs. It twirls as you move, and you like the feeling of the material on your skin. It cuts right at your mid thigh, and it feels like a lot to wear to bed. But Nobara had left it on your bed, and you felt too bad to say anything about it, considering her excitement at your new wardrobe. You pull back the covers of your bed, thick and warm, and are just about to step in.
And then somebody knocks on your door.
Once, and then twice, and then they just keep knocking until you get up, flinging the door open. You assume it’s Nobara, because who else would be so brave to knock on your door like that, and so late at night. 
Satoru. That’s who. 
“What- Satoru, what are you doing, we are not supposed to see each other until the wedding!” You splutter, pulling him into your room before anyone else sees him.
He doesn’t speak though. You look at him confused and wave a hand in his face.
“Hello?” 
But it’s like he’s somewhere else. And it’s then, when a particularly strong breeze comes in from your open window, that you remember what you’re wearing, and you finally notice the red that dusts Satoru’s cheeks and your eyes widen.
“Oh my- Look away!” You hiss, rushing to your bed to grab a sheet to cover yourself.
Satoru turns quickly. “I’m sorry, I assumed you would be decent when I knocked!”
“Knocked? You practically broke my door down. What is it you want?” You huff, now covered.
“Well, I wanted-“
“You can turn around now.”
He does. He pouts a little at your new outfit.
“Shame. I liked your little nightgown.” 
“You have about five seconds before I call someone to escort you out of here.”
“Alright, alright.” He holds his hands up in surrender. “I just want to talk.” Satoru says.
You frown slightly. “Talk about what?”
He drops his hands and gestures at your bed. “Can you sit? And calm down? I can feel how tense you are from here.”
You let your shoulders fall. You suppose nobody will walk into your room. And he’s the prince, after all. Not much can be done to punish him. 
So you relent, and listen. He sits himself on your bed as well, shamelessly crossing his long legs, completely ignoring how inappropriate even being in the same room as you, let alone bed, is. You don’t protest as much as you should, only bring your covers up to hide the expanse of your legs your short nightdress reveals. His eyes dart down at the movement and he smiles.
“Why are you here, Satoru?” You ask.
“You see, the benefit to you not knowing who I was yesterday is that you spilled your pretty little heart out to me.”
Your nose wrinkles. “I don’t think that’s entirely true.”
“But it is. You are scared because you know nothing about me, and you are scared I’m a hideous troll. That is what you said to me yesterday. And now, we can at least check one of those off the list.”
He leans forward just that bit closer, forearms resting on his knees. White eyelashes flutter as blinks innocently. “Am I hideous, Y/N?”
God, you wish he was. That might make keeping a safe distance from him easier. But when he looks at you like this, like he wants you in a way no man ever has, you have to look away.
“No. I suppose not.”
He smirks. “I’ll take it.” 
Satoru sits back a bit and you remember how to breathe.
“So. What else would you like to know about me?”
“You snuck into my room so that we can do trivia on Satoru Gojo?” 
“The best kind. Come on, ask me something and I’ll ask you the same back.”
You sigh, relenting, ignoring how cute he looks when he cheers quietly.
“Okay. If you could have any superpower what would you pick?”
Satoru barks a laugh. “Y/N, I meant questions to get to know me. Like, my favourite colour or something.”
“This is getting to know you! Respond, if you don’t mind.”
“That- Okay. Fine. I’d have… Telekinesis.” 
You wrinkle your nose and he furrows his brows at your reaction. “What?”
“Nothing.” You say.
“Well, it is clearly something. Is my answer not good enough for you?”
You giggle. “No, it is perfectly fine! Just surprised me. I thought you’d say something like. Super strength.”
He tilts his head. “And why’s that?” 
“Most men do. Something about power and their over inflated egos.”
His mouth gaped. “My ego is perfectly inflated, thank you very much.” You just grin, shrugging.
And the two of you sit like that, for entirely too long. The questions are all innocent to begin with. Your favourite colour, your favourite food. What you hate most about the balls you always attend. And then, little by little, you get closer. Not just physically, because his hand is now toying with the edge of your duvet, but you feel like you know him more. It’s not by a lot, but. It’s better than before.
“What are you most scared of? About our marriage?” Satoru’s voice is soft as he speaks. The light of your candle flickers across his face, and you wonder how long you can keep him here like this, the flame lighting his eyes up perfectly.
“Losing my freedom.” 
You don’t feel scared to say the words like you’re sure you’d feel around any other man. It’s no secret that as a woman, your life stops being about you once you’re wed, and more about how you can serve your husband, your future kids. 
“What do you mean?”
You smile bitterly. You didn’t expect him to know, but it still stings a little that he doesn’t.
“I knew I’d never get to rule my kingdom. It will most likely be any sons I have, never me. But. I could still do what I could, help my father however he’d let me. Now, though. I am too far from home to be of any help. And I do not have a role in this land, and I respect that.”
You look down at your sheets. Your fingers trail along the embroidered designs idly.
“It is just difficult to come to terms with the fact that it is now officially over. That all I am is a wife, a mother.” 
Satoru sighs heavily. His fingers reach forward and intertwine with yours. 
“You are not just a wife to me, and you never will be. If you wish to have some authority, some duty, I will make that happen. If not now, then when I am king.”
You look up at him. And his face is deathly serious, in a way you’ve not really seen on him before. He looks at you earnestly and you feel your throat tighten.
“You would do that for me?” You don’t need to say how unspoken such an attitude is.
“I would do anything for you, Y/N.”
After that, the topics get much lighter. Satoru’s fingers stay clasping yours and you let them. The night grows later and the candle on your bedside table burns smaller and smaller. It’s when it gets this late, that you’re yawning and blinking at him lazily, Satoru’s tongue gets looser, and his questions curb something dangerous.
“So. Have you ever kissed anyone before?”
“Satoru!”
“What?”
You shake your head. “That’s hardly appropriate.”
“And why not? You’re to be my wife soon, no? Can’t we talk about such topics?” 
You can feel the heat on your face and you know he can see it. You roll your eyes. “Okay. Fine.” 
You adjust your position, lifting up the sleeve of your nightdress where it was slipping. “I have. Once.”
And the expression on his face twists .immediately into what you think is jealousy. 
“You’ve what?”
You laugh slightly. “I’ve kissed one boy.”
He frowns. “Who?”
“Aw. Are you jealous?” You grin.
“Well, yes. Of course I am! Your first kiss is supposed to be with me.” 
“It is not that big of a deal, Satoru. He was nobody important, and I do not even remember his name. And I was young, too. Thirteen, I believe.”
He grumbles, and you laugh at the pout on his face. “Cheer up, Prince. It is not like you have never kissed anyone before.”
The tips of his ears redden and it suddenly makes sense why he’s so bothered. You coo and he scoffs, waving you off. 
“Enough.”
“Aw, it’s okay, Satoru. Does this mean I’ll be your first kiss?”
“Yes. And some random boy will be yours.” He huffs, crossing his arms.
“Don’t pout. You’ll be my first in- In other things.” You say.
And how quickly his pout disappears and is replaced with a smirk, one that threatens something with the way he looks at you. He moves closer to you.
“You can say the word you know.” 
“I know.”
He smiles. “Say it then.”
You scoff. “No. I- No.”
His smirk darkens and he leans closer. “You scared?”
You narrow your eyes at him. “No.” 
“Are you excited?” 
“I- Satoru. I don’t-“
“I am.” 
The admission comes easily as if it means nothing. His words fluster you and you laugh nervously. He just watches you, hands slowly sliding out your lap to rest on your thigh. It’s over the duvet, but still, the promise behind them has you swallowing roughly.
“You looked beautiful last night. In that dress. You look beautiful right now.” 
His hand reaches up, moving the sleeve that has slipped down your shoulder again back up. His fingers smooth over the soft silk and you let it. He’s touched you before, grabbed your hands and toyed with them, but this feels so different. There’s a tension in the room you cannot quite place. You can’t judge the way Satoru’s eyes dip down to your lips because you know you’re doing the same thing.
“I know I have to be patient. And I will be.” His voice has dropped an octave lower, something husky and dangerous.
“But you are making it very difficult for me. Dressed like that. Looking how you do.” 
“It’s just a nightgown, Satoru.” Your words come out more desperate than you intend.
“Hm. What I saw when I walked in leaves little to the imagination.” 
You laugh slightly, nervous and excited. “I’m excited, too. Just scared as well.”
His eyes frown before his lips do. “Don’t be. I’ll make it good for you, I promise.”
Something coils in your stomach and you shift your legs. “I- I think it is time you leave. I am tired, and it is late.” 
He nods, understanding. His hand drops from your shoulder and he smiles.
“I will see you tomorrow.”
You snort a laugh. “You really should not. It is against the rules.”
“You will learn I am not one for following them.”
The next day Satoru does not come creeping into your room because you see him during the day. You and Nobara are walking in the courtyard, the sun setting over your skin, when you hear yells and then a loud thud. You turn a corner, past the large detailed stone walls and see Satoru, clutching his sides and laughing at two boys on the floor. They’re all stood on what you think is a makeshift battleground, and your memory tells you that this is the practise grounds Nobara had mentioned yesterday. While the two boys look familiar, you pay them no mind as you can’t stop staring at Satoru. He’s got a sword in his hand and he’s wearing a white button up with the sleeves rolled up his forearms, and his hair sticks to his forehead, sweat glistening on his skin. 
“Aw, look at the future bride ogling her husband.” Nobara coos.
You tut. “Enough of that. I was simply looking. At all three of them.”
“Whatever you say, princess. It’s about time you met them. Let us go.” 
She bounds forward and the boys perk up at the sight of her. They wrap her in a hug and she groans, trying to shove them off. She finally breaks free, dusting off her dress.
“You two reek, get off me.” She sniffs, turning her head.
Satoru notices you standing to the side, and he immediately runs up to greet you. He beams as you focus your attention to him.
“Afternoon, princess.”
“Afternoon, prince.”
He grins. He rubs his brow with the back of his hand. “So. What brings you here?”
You nod your head towards Nobara. “She was taking me on a walk and we ended up here.” You watch the three of them talking, a small smile gracing your lips. “They’re sweet.”
Satoru rolls his eyes. “What they are is lazy. Haven’t been training hard enough.” 
Satoru speaks loud enough that the two boys hear and start scowling, immediately stopping their animated conversation with Nobara to argue.
“No fair! You’re so hard on us, Sensei.” The pink haired boy pouts.
Your eyebrows raise at the name. “Sensei? You teach these boys?” You ask.
Satoru nods, and you can see the pride on his face he’s trying to hide. “I’m the best in this kingdom! Only makes sense I teach our future, no?”
The sound of your voice seems to alert the two boys of your presence. They quickly straighten out, bowing. It’s been two days of this and you still have no idea how to react.
“Your majesty! It’s lovely to meet you.” One of them, the one you’ve learnt is called Yuji, grins.
“Please, call me Y/N. And it’s lovely to meet you both!” You reply.
“Well, Y/N, are you going to marry-“
“Do not actually call her by her name, you fool. It’s disrespectful.” The other one, Megumi, scoffs, shoving Yujis shoulder.
“She just told me to!”
“No, Megumi is right, it is disrespectful. She’s  just weird like that.” Nobara chimes in.
Yuji gasps. “You can’t call a princess weird!”
“It is quite alright. I've done it before.”
Yuji shakes his head in shame. “I hope she hangs you for your attitude.”
Megumi snorts a laugh. “About time somebody did.”
Satoru rolls his eyes as they start bickering. He pulls you to the side, hand curling easily around your elbow. He gives you and the dress Nobara had picked and excitedly told you was worth more than she got paid in a month a once over.
“You look gorgeous this morning.” He says, hand still lingering on your arm.
You smile. “Thank you. As do you.”
“Really?”
You nod. “The dishevelled look is doing you wonders.”
He barks a laugh, running a hand through his hair. “I’m in dire need of a shower. Training them takes it out of me.”
You look back at the boys. “Can I see?”
Satoru pauses for a moment, hand still trying to fix his mussed hair. His sword is still in his other hand, and you watch with keen interest as his fingers tighten around the hilt. 
“You want to see me fight?” He questions.
You fluster a bit at the way he’s looking at you, the knowing tease in his eyes. “Yes. I want to see if my future husband is adept.”
“I’m much more than adept.”
“Then there should be no issue.”
He sighs, his grin back with more fevour. “I love your attitude, do you know that?”
“That is why you are marrying me, no?” 
He laughs. “Okay, enough. Now watch.”
Satoru walks towards the boys. You laugh at the disgruntled expression on their face when he ushers them to the centre of the field. Yuji passes Megumi his fallen sword and you gesture Nobara to come stand with you. She walks over, looking slightly lost.
“They told me they were done training for today.”
“Yes, I think this is my fault. I want to see him in action.”
Nobara looks at your knowingly. “Sure.”
“Hush now. Look.”
Satoru gives them a second before he goes at them. It’s like art, watching Satoru move. The two boys are good, you can tell with how easily they swing their swords, the practised way they dodge attacks. But Satoru, he is a marvel. You watch as the lines of muscles in his arm ripple as he brings his sword down, the amount of strength behind each hit rattling the metal. You know he’s just showing off for you, but you don’t care. He fights off the two of them easily, barely breaking a sweat as he slides and dodges their hits. He even has the nerve to send you a cheeky wink and you smile despite yourself.
The match ends quickly, the two knights swords on the floor once Satoru easily unarms them. You clap excitedly and he bows. The two boys grumble to themselves, dusting dirt off their tunics once more.
“You’re supposed to go easy on us.” Yujii huffs, retrieving their swords from the floor.
“How will you learn if I go easy on you?” Satoru puts his hands on his hips and catches his breath.
Megumi rolls his eyes. “You’re just trying to impress the princess.”
Satoru softens slightly at Megumi, and he practically coos at him. “Aww, don’t be sad, Megumi! You did a great job.” 
Megumi just rolls his eyes again. The two boys bid you goodbye, and you tell Nobara to go with them.
“Alright. I will come meet you in your room once you are finished speaking to the prince.” She curtsies quickly before rushing off to catch up with the others.
You turn to Satoru to find him already looking at you. The sword is back in the scabbard on his waist, and he crosses his arms. His biceps look even bigger under his shirt as he does so and you avert your gaze before he notices your staring.
“So. How was I?”
“You were amazing! I know your ego is quite big already, but. I suppose it’s justified. You were quite incredible, fighting like that.”
Satoru grins something proud and satisfied, ignoring your little dig at his ego. He steps forward slightly and he smells like sweat and the outdoors. 
“I am glad I could impress you so, princess.” He says.
“How long have you been fighting for?”
Satoru thinks for a moment. “Since I was very young. My father taught me, and I trained as hard as I could until I was the best around.” 
“That is quite admirable. It’s obvious with how easily you can move around.”
Satoru nods. “I like teaching the young ones. I-“ Satoru pauses slightly. His face turns to something a little more vulnerable, and he doesn’t make much eye contact with you when he continues.
“My father is a good man, but. His teachings were not the greatest. I hated fighting and training and the idea of it all. It is better now, of course. I just do not want the younger generation to go through what I did.”
You know you shouldn’t, but your hand reaches forward and grabs his. He looks back at you and you give him a smile.
“You are a good man, Satoru. And it is doing wonders for those kids, believe me. I can see from only speaking to them once.”
Satoru softens slightly. He sighs, like a little weight has been relieved from his shoulders.
“I am not sure what I did to deserve you.”
“Something good, I imagine.”
If Satoru’s last day before the wedding has been anything like yours, hectic and so busy, you’re sure he had no time to do so.
The day is spent drifting from room to room. You pick out a bouquet of flowers from too many options. You stand as straight as possible and suck in as much as you can so that they can stuff you in a corset and dress that you’re scared to even move it. It’s layers of soft, white fabric, shining gems sewn into the neckline and all down the front. It shimmers as it catches onto the light form the big open windows. You smooth your hand over the soft material. Nobara stands to the side, and while she keeps silent in the presence of the tailor and other maids, you can see the excitement on her face. 
When you catch sight of yourself in the mirror on the other end of the room you pause. You look older. Maybe it's the white, or maybe it's the fact you’ll be a Gojo in hours, but something feels different. You aren’t sure how you feel. You try not to think about it too much because you can't decipher what's excitement and what's fear.
Your tailor, Nanako, smiles at you. “Nervous?”
You nod slightly as her assistant, Mimiko, adjusts your bodice. “Yes. A little.”
“You have nothing to worry about. Of all the princes I’ve made suits for, Prince Satoru is the nicest.” Nanako says. She kneels down to fix the trail of your dress.
“Really?” Mimiko nods.
“Mhm. He’s very nice. And he is very attractive, too.”
“Mimiko! That is her husband.”
“I am just being reassuring!”
The best part of your day is definitely the time you spend in the kitchens. The smell hits you the second you walk in, and the different foods are all spread out across the tables for you to try. There's duck and chicken and lamb, desserts like tarts and cheesecakes all waiting for you to try.  You smile for the first time all day. The head chef, a man with pink hair oddly similar to Yuji, looks at you from across the table. The room is large, stoves and ovens lining the walls. You glance to your left and see the room you assume is full of food. The kitchen is surprisingly empty other than the man, and he bows when you and Nobara fully walk in.
“Princess. We’ve arranged a series of hors d'oeuvres, mains and desserts for you to try. The cake has already been chosen by the prince, and we’ve left a sample for you there.” He gestures to the slice of cake and you beam.
“Thank you. My name is Y/N. And yours?”
He raises a brow at your introduction. “Sukuna.”
“It is nice to meet you.” Sukuna smirks slightly at your cheery attitude. He gestures to the chair in front of you and Nobara pulls it out for you and you sit.
“And you.” He says.
He leans against the counter and crosses his arms. Nobara stands besides you.
“So. Where shall we start?”
“You can begin with the hors d'oeuvres.”
As you try the food, he explains each dish, where all the ingredients are sourced. Sukuna lights up slightly when he begins talking, and you can tell he cares about what he does. Nobara told you on the way over that he was the best chef in the kingdom, and the taste of the food tells you as much. 
“This is amazing! And you made all these recipes yourself?”
He nods, standing a bit taller. “I have help, of course, but these were all made by me and my sous chefs. The rest of the workers will be available on the wedding night to make sure everything gets out on time.”
“I love it all. You are very talented, Sukuna.”
He bows his head. “Thank you, Princess.”
You gesture Nobara to come try some of your food. “Come, help me decide between these two.”
You spend the next few minutes getting through the food. You chat with Sukuna, and he tells you that Yujii is his brother, his younger one at that. Sukuna used to be a knight too, but after a bad fight his leg was injured too badly for him to fight again. But, his loyalty to the royal family was not forgotten, which is why after discovering he could actually cook very well, he’d become their Chef.
“Do you miss fighting?” You ask.
He shrugs. “Of course. It’s exhilarating stuff, but. It cannot be helped. I enjoy cooking and I’m good at it. Not much to complain about.”
You nod. 
“That makes sense. I- Ow!” You wince as something sharp scratches your gums.
“Is everything okay, Princess?” Nobara asks, turning to you quickly.
“Yeah, I just- There’s.” 
You turn your head quickly, and try to pull out whatever is in your mouth as dignified as you can. When your hand comes up, the three of you all look at the piece of crab shell in your hand.
“What the hell is that?” Sukuna furrows his brow.
“Hey! Watch your language.” Nobara chides.
Sukuna doesn’t listen. He reaches forward and grabs it out of your hand. He looks pissed. Before you can even say anything he’s storming off into that room in the back. You and Nobara both peer inside.
“Where is he going?” You ask.
Nobara shrugs. “I’m not sure. He looks angry, though.”
“I know. I am a little-“
“What the fuck is this!” Sukuna suddenly yells.
You both jump at his voice. You both lean over and peer through the door to see him yelling at two men you assume are his sous chefs. They hold their heads down and Nobara giggles next to you.
“They look like their teacher’s telling them off.” She whispers.
You wave your hand at her. “Shh, I want to hear.”
He holds up the small piece of shell in their faces. “Look! The Princess could have choked on this, and then what? We’d all be hanged because you dumbasses didn’t check the crab properly.
“I thought-”
Sukuna holds up a hand and it’s enough to silence the one who tries to speak.
“There’s no excuse for it.” Sukuna shakes his head. “You, you. Fuck off! Get out my face.”
The two men walk out and you and Nobara quickly straighten up as Sukuna comes back into the room. He bows deeply. You elbow Nobara as she stifles a laugh.
“I am deeply sorry, Princess. Please excuse my sous chefs, they will be properly dealt with later.”
You do not want to know what that means. You laugh slightly, gesturing for him to stand. “Please, do not worry, it was only an accident.”
“An accident they shouldn’t have happened.” He sighs.
You smile. “It’s okay, I am sure it will be remedied for tomorrow night.”
Sukuna just looks at you. He studies you for a moment.
“I’ve catered quite a few meetings between the Prince and his potential wives. I am quite glad he picked you. Most of the others were insufferable.”
You snort a laugh before covering your mouth, face flushing in embarrassment. “Apologies. That was not very ladylike of me.”
Sukuna smirks slightly. “Your secret is safe with me.”’
The day ends quicker than you think. You find yourself sitting in your room, trying to fool yourself into thinking you’re not up waiting for Satoru. That and the fact that you think the nerves are going to eat you alive.
You perk up slightly at the quick knock at your door. You get up, this time wearing a robe to cover yourself, and usher Satoru in.
“Aw. No nightgown today?”
You smack the side of his shoulder and he grins. “I missed you.”
“It has only been a day, Satoru.”
“A day too long.”
You both sit on your bed. You look out your window, at the bright moon in the sky and the expanse of the garden you can see from where you’re sitting. You feel Satoru’s hand clasp yours and you look at him. His brows are pinched with worry, and it’s weird seeing his lips turned down in a small frown.
“Are you alright?”
You breathe in deeply. “Do I not seem alright?”
“You look tired. A little troubled.” Satoru inches a little closer.
“Hm. It has been a long day.”
He sighs. “Tell me about it. You’ve been preparing for the wedding too?”
You nod. “I feel bad complaining. I have people waiting on me hand and foot, but. It is a lot.”
“You are allowed to be tired, you know.”
Satoru is looking at you so tenderly. It’s weird, you know it is, how much you feel for him in such little time. You’ve known him for four days only. Spoke to him on four separate occasions and yet you can’t help but be excited that you’ll be spending the rest of your life with him.
Of all the suitors your parents had entertained, he was by far the most attractive, but also the kindest. He seemed like a good person from what you’d seen and you knew that he’d make a good King when the time came. He had good money, good people. Your lady in waiting, the chefs, his family. You were lucky. Luckier than a lot of girls like you.
And you still felt like you deserved none of it.
There was a princess out there made for this sort of life. Not you. Sometimes you think you would’ve been better as a peasant.
Satoru’s fingers stroke over your hand. “Tell me what is wrong.”
His voice is so careful and caring that you feel tears threaten behind your eyelids. You sigh shakily.
“I just. It’s a lot. It’s so much. Sometimes I feel like it should not be me. That there is someone more deserving of this.”
Satoru’s frown deepens. “Do not say that.”
“But it is how I feel. I- I am trying to ignore it, but I am so nervous.”
Satoru moves closer to you. He smells fresh, like he’s just showered, and you notice some curls in his hair are still damp. 
“You think I do not feel the same? That I’m not scared I won’t be a good husband?”
It’s your turn to be confused. “What? Why would you think that?”
“Why would I not? It’s my job to protect you. Keep you safe. Make sure you’re happy, make sure everything is perfect for you. And I know how adverse you are to this all. Which makes me even more scared.” 
Your heart pangs with guilt at the look on his face. He looks so worried. You grasp his hand properly.
“No. No, I am not. Not anymore. Now that it’s you.”
His lips part like he wants to say something. But he doesn’t. Just looks at you.
“You- You changed my mind. I do not know how, and I do not know why so quickly but. That is not why I am scared.”
You turn away. Your words feel too vulnerable to say right to his face. 
“I want to be good for you, Satoru. I want to be a good wife. You deserve it. And I am frightened I cannot give it to you.”
Fingers curve under you chin. They turn your head so that your facing him, and the worry is replaced with something so lovely you want to look away again.
“It’s okay. We are supposed to be scared. I’d be more worried if you were not.”
You laugh wetly, and he swipes under your eyes at the tears that fall. 
“Don’t cry, princess.” He whispers.
“You are too kind. I can’t help it.”
“Would you like me to be mean?” 
You hum thoughtfully. “Maybe save that for after the wedding.”
The tips of his ears redden and his grip on your face tightens slightly.
“God, the flilth that comes out of that mouth.” He scolds, but you know it holds no mirth.
His hand drops from your face into your lap. You wonder how shocked your mother would be if she saw you two sitting this close before marriage.
“How do you even manage to sneak in here every night?”
Satoru grins. “My valet is very kind. Very susceptible to persuasion.”
You giggle. “I could say the same for Nobara. She hasn’t said a word.”
Satoru rolls his eyes. “You and I both know that girl is running to Yujii and Megumi every night. Would explain their giggling during training.”
You brain trails back to the two of them before, when Satoru was training them. Even then you remember the slight fondness he held for Megumi.
“Megumi. He is your favourite, correct?” 
Satoru winces, rubbing a hand on his head. “Am I that obvious?”
“Only slightly. I have a good eye.”
He sighs, nodding. He moves himself until he’s sitting beside you, and not in front. His shoulder is warm as it hits yours and you both lean against your headrest.
“Yes. I’ve known him since he was a child. His father was killed in a battle, and so I’ve took to checking up on him and his sister all their lives. Once he was old enough he joined the forces.”
As if he couldn’t get any better.
“That’s so kind. He seems like a good boy.”
Satoru hums in agreement. “He is. They both are, really.” 
Satoru stretches. His sleep pants stretch over muscled thighs and you look away quickly. 
“I met your tailors. And your chef.”
“Oh, Sukuna? He is very good at what he does.”
“Mhm. One of his sous chefs made a mistake and he tore into them. It was very funny.”
Satoru snorts. “He’s passionate. It is what makes his cooking so much better.”
You sigh. The darkness from outside tells you it’s late, and the way your eyes droop shut are tell enough that your tried. Satoru is telling you a story about something, and you’re too tired to pay enough attention. You let your eyes shut and you lean on his shoulder.
“You falling asleep on me?” Satoru mumbles.
“Mhm. No. Keep talking. M’listening.”
He chuckles. “Alright. Good night, Y/N.”
“Goodnight, Satoru.”
————————————————-—————————
I had a vision of Gordon Ramsey x Sukuna and that vision had to be realised
I acc have nooooo idea how to write a wedding part 😅 but thsi was so super fun to write! I love royal aus even tho I’m sure these ar won’t factually accurate
I hope u enjoyed!
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nayafanfic · 2 days ago
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Can you do rotb Optimus (Or whatever bot you feel like) x platonic human single mom reader? Reader moves to the countryside and tries to start a farm to feed herself and her five-year-old kid. She notices strange happenings around the woods, like large footsteps, and strange vehicles driving on the roads, and has a feeling there's something in the woods (maybe just the bots trying to hide from humans). One day, reader looks away just for a second and her kid wanders off, getting lost in the woods. Reader looks for her kid desperately and her kid wanders too close to a cliff, ending up falling, but Optimus saves the kid just in time. He then carefully returns the kid and reader is confused when her kid constantly talks about 'Mr. Truck', making a drawing of this giant red-blue robot. However, reader then starts to believe in the possibility of Mr. Truck being real and one day finding Optimus with one of his injured Autobots. Reader is not scared and helps fix his friend, even offering them to stay in her barn. Then maybe that's just the start of a beautiful friendship?
(Sorry, if this is a bit long. You are free to ignore it.)
(platonic) Optimus prime x single mom reader
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You lived alone, even though a few years ago it seemed impossible. Completely hypnotized by love, you hadn't seen the red flags. Always on the couch, yelling at you for any little mistake or letting you do all the chores.
The final straw was the slap on your face during one of many arguments, that night you left with a bag on your back.
Now 5 years later, you live in a small house with your adorable son and your 2 dogs. The little house is in the middle of 2 field of various vegetables (Tomato, cucumber, carrot, lettuce, wheat and recently, spinach). At the back of the house, is the mini farm with some animals.
But, even though you were fulfilled and exhausted from your new life, you noticed a strange event.
1- There are very few cars that pass in front of your house, but when there are, they are always the same ones. A large red and blue truck, another yellow, a pink motorcycle and another blue and white that drives like crazy (he already ate a stick, because he was driving fast and almost hit one of the chickens).
2- You noticed Mr. Truck's huge footprints? Finally, that what your baby boy has been saying since he got lost in the forest.
This day you will remember for the rest of your life. Everything was going so well, he was playing outside while you were fixing your old truck and in a second he was gone.
You spent the day looking for him, shouting his name and even sending your dogs at him. Until night fell and he reappeared out of nowhere. Never before you had cried, been relieved and angry at the same time other than at that moment. When you started to go home, he started talking about his experience with a big smile.
-Mom, when I fell in a water, a BIG robot picke me up!
-When did you fall? Where did you fall darling? And a big robot, that must have been so impressive! As a mother, you played into his game (thinking he was just talking nonsense).
After that day, he didn't stop talking about him, drawing pictures and dreams of the big Mr. Truck.
At first you thought it was just his imagination, young people have an extremely overactive imagination. But, It became so intense that you started to believe it.
So for good measure you installed fences all over your home (as if it would protect you, but also to prevent your son from returning there after his 5th attempt to run away).
But now you know it is real, because what is in front of you is the same thing in his drawings.
You had heard loud noises in the forest, so you went there and thought that one of the cows had run away again. Your son had already been sleeping for a good hour so there was no chance of him waking up, you took the shotgun, put on your boots and go outside.
Optimus didn't mind seeing you, he had been watching you since he meeting your little sparkle, but only to protect you of course. And usually at this time there is no more light in your home otherwise he would never have come near your home.
But now with a wounded Bumblebee, and no other protection he wasn't sure if you were a bad person or not, you were armed after all.
He didn't know how to act, should he talk to you or say nothing? The only thing he was sure of was that not a single bolt in his body moving. And you, damn it, you didn’t move more than an inch either.
the gun is held tightly in your hands trembling from the cold and the fear.
Your eyes were fixed on his glowing blue orbs until movement behind him caught your attention. The yellow bot was starting to lose consciousness due to his loss of blood. The larger robot turned towards him and tried as hard as he could to stop the bleeding while keeping his eyes on you.
Seeing what is happening in front of you, you remembered what he had done for your son, so taking a deep breath you gently placed the gun on the ground and began to walk towards it.
-My son, talk my about this day. In fact he doesn't stop talking about this day. Your laugh caught the attention of Bumblebee who hadn't even noticed you were walking towards him.
-He told me that you saved him from a fall, no? The cliff north of my house, the one overlooking the lake?
Now with the two of them looking at you closely and this close to the yellow robot you can see his wound, a hole on his cables. It looks quite serious, as a strange substance is coming out of the place in big quantities.
The big blue had all his attention on you again. -Yes, it was me. His serious and deep tone made all your body vibrate with fear? no, with surprise? You don't even know how you feel about yourself at the moment.
So, as a normal and intelligent person, your first action was to take off your shirt and place it as delicately as you can at the level of the hole and putting pressure on it. Then in a sure and calm voice you reassured them.
-So it's my turn to help your family now, Mr. Truck, everything will be fine.
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