#I occasionally had screaming meltdowns when I got very stressed

[vim-flam]

I have no doubt that if people I went to primary school with still remember me, then it's as the "obviously autistic in hindsight" kid.

[aggressive-positivity-network]

Do you have any autistic Scout headcanons? :P

Hell yeah!

I’ve actually thought about this a lot. A lot of people might think that Scout has ADHD, but I think he either has both ADHD and autism or just autism.

This is both because labeling Scout as having just ADHD is kind of a low-hanging fruit, and I also want to explore his symptoms a little more. So, in a word, I do, and thank you for asking about them!

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Scout’s Spectrum:

So, where exactly does Scout fall on the autism spectrum?

First of all, he probably has both ADHD and autism, but wasn’t diagnosed with the latter until much later. This means that some of his symptoms were taken into account, but not all.

The ones that were paid attention to ramped up out of control, and the ones he didn’t hear about were stuffed away.

His ADHD symptoms include impulsiveness, need for stimulation, hyperfixations, forgetfulness, and insomnia; his autism symptoms include trouble with social skills, stimming, near inability to remember names and faces, lack of eye contact, hyperfixations again, and sensory processing issues, especially with noise and touch.

He used to have a lot of meltdowns when he was younger, usually about wearing new clothes and the amount of noise his eight brothers generated.

However, he was teased and pushed into masking nearly all the time, and made his whole personality about his ADHD, since that was what everyone accepted.

As he got older, he usually wrote off any autistic tendencies as either his ADHD or just “little habits” of his.

During his middle school years, he used energy drinks to bounce back from being exhausted every day after school. This would work, except those energy drinks would upset his ADHD, and would make it much harder to focus on even basic conversation.

After a while, he got such bad grades and had such a hard time making friends that Scout just stopped going to school altogether.

Baseball helped his focus, and the quick movement and thinking made a lot of sense to him. He never had to wait very long for the next development, and the instant gratification and community it provided supplemented what he never got at school.

With sports on his side, he rarely ever drank any energy drinks (the coach would never let them on the field), and he drank bucketfuls of water during every meet and game. Those teenage years were probably the healthiest he ever was.

However, with the amount of rumbles he got into with his brothers, and the turf wars that constantly raged in those neighborhoods, it was only a matter of time before his crime caught up with him.

After his first incarceration, he was booted from the team, which led to a downward spiral of unhealthy coping mechanisms - which included fighting someone tooth and nail whenever he could.

Even if he lost the fight, it not only catered to his impulsive nature and impatience, but also gave him roughly the same sense of friendship and camaraderie that baseball had.

One thing led to another, and by the time Mann Co. found him, Scout was a monster in hand to hand (and bat to bat) and had racked up quite the criminal record.

A perfect mercenary, ripe for the picking.

On The Team:

Scout very quickly adopted the “stupid, scrappy Boston boy” persona.

It was the only thing that made sense, and it kept him from having to try too hard in both the battlefield and socially.

Besides, that meant that he could be as silly, forgetful, and fidgety as he wanted, and no one would bat an eye.

And if he ever needed to take a break from the team, he figured everyone would appreciate the quiet.

The only thing that ever gave him away was him occasionally dissociating right when battle began, especially if the day had been stressful.

It was usually how he calmed down after a fight when he was young, but now he sometimes slid into that state when he was overwhelmed.

However, a yell from one of his teammates would usually snap him out of it.

Medic noticed this pretty early on, and wanted to look more into it, but Scout would keep making excuses not to get a mental examination.

He would blame it on zoning out, being tired, drinking too many Bonks - whatever it took for people to stop asking.

And, eventually, they did.

Even Medic stopped asking after a while - he couldn’t get a thing out of Scout.

This “try so little that when you do try it’s above average” charade worked for a long time. In fact, it went on for so long that Scout forgot how much he was actually capable of.

He began to internalize the stupidity, the exacerbation, the many comments on how dumb he was, everything.

The only time he ever gave his all was on the battlefield - moving fast, memorizing strategies, doing complicated footwork, knowing exactly how much force it took to crush someone’s skull with his bat.

That was one of the only things that he felt good doing, the only thing he could really work on without him being “found out.”

That and drawing, though he never showed the actual pieces to anyone. It was all stick figures and crooked lines with everyone else.

Sometimes, though, Scout wouldn’t be paying attention and he’d let something slip.

One time, Engineer was looking for his screwdriver, and couldn’t seem to find it anywhere.

Scout, not looking up from his comic, said, “Under the couch cushion, hard hat.”

Engineer bent down and reached into the couch, and his hand came back with his red and yellow striped screwdriver.

“Well I’ll be damned…”

At first Engineer thought Scout had just hid it, but Scout explained, still not paying attention:

“Last time we went out on th’ field, you had it on your belt, like always. But I was walkin’ by your workshop, you were usin’ a quarter to tighten a screw or somethin’. Your screwdriver had to be somewhere between the battlefield and your workshop. Engie, you’re like freakin’ clockwork. Every day, after a fight, you go to the kitchen, get a water, go to that couch, between the second and third cushion from the left, and sit there. Then ya go back to the fridge to get lunch and a beer, and ya go to your workshop until somebody needs you for somethin’. Your back loop in your tool belt is looser than all the others, ‘cause the screwdriver pulls against it when you sit down. The shank was probably in between the two cushions, and when you got up, it fell in. Demo, Pyro, and Heavy all sit on the second or third cushion at some point, so it got shimmied down. And since that’s the only time you sat down, ‘cause you woulda heard it if it dropped on the floor, and I…uh…”

“I’ll be damned,” Engie repeated, and felt the back tool belt loop. It was indeed loose.

Scout finally looked up, and realized what had happened.

“Uh, uh - l-lucky guess, huh Engie?”

Engineer squinted behind his goggles. “Yeah…real lucky…”

What ensued was Engie trying to get Scout to turn into a B.L.U Spy by chasing him around with his wrench. After a few good hits, though, Engineer saw that it was the teammate he knew and loved.

“But…how didja…?”

Scout threw his hand up, the other rubbing the back of his head where he’d been hit.

“I toldja Engie! Lucky guess! Jesus!”

Ever since then, Scout chose his words more carefully.

The Breakdown:

But, unfortunately, Scout could not pretend forever.

There was one week where Scout’s assignment count was so high that, if he wasn’t in a fight, he was on a mission.

Usually, Pauling wouldn’t trust him with so much, but no one else was available - or willing - to do the jobs.

Even when she was getting concerned about the amount of hours Scout was putting in, he blew it off.

“It’s no sweat, Miss Pauling! Their practically givin’ me the pay day. Those yahoos don’t know who they’re messin’ with.”

Over time, though, Scout had a harder and harder time staying focused and alert.

He’d sleep through alarms, stare off into space, zone out completely during briefing (not that he didn’t already do that), have a hard time hearing people in battle - even through his headset - ignore Spy’s taunts, and even forget to bring his bat onto the field.

Nothing seemed to help - Bonk!, warming up, stretching, cold showers, setting reminders, nothing.

And the team was starting to notice.

At first it was with the regular frustration - maybe Scout was just being lazy.

But as time went on, and his condition grew worse, their scorn turned into worry. They implored Medic to do something, but he had no way of getting through to Scout.

The doctor wasn’t above simply sedating him and dragging him into his lab for a check-up. However, he had a feeling that this was more than a physical issue.

The worst came when Scout was doing a routine battle with the B.L.U team on the field.

Everything had started out okay - he even remembered to bring his bad this time - but suddenly, everything was ear-splittingly loud.

He couldn’t focus on more than one sound at once, much less communicate the best course of action to his teammates.

He ended up hiding in a dilapidated shed, in a dusty, dark corner, somewhere between zoning out and panicking.

Scout’s head was in his knees, he was shaking, close to crying, when a sudden splitting of wood roused him.

A B.L.U Soldier had kicked his way into the shed, either having heard Scout or to hide from the other team.

Scout was stunned at first, but something of a blind terror filled him. He picked up his bat, screamed, and started pummeling the surprised Soldier.

At some point, he threw aside his bat and began to swing punch after punch, just like he did in his gang days when he had felt overwhelmed. Still screaming. Still crying.

By the time Scout had dissolved into a rocking, sobbing mess, the Soldier was long dead, with a gigantic pool of blood staining Scout’s shoes.

No one even knew where Scout was until a few hours later, when Spy heard a faint note of “Sexbomb” coming from Scout’s Walkman.

Scout had crawled into the shed’s framework, between the outer and inner wall, and was playing a specific verse over and over and over again, looking like he was on another plane of existence.

Spy immediately called for Medic, who had to lift Scout out by the underarms through a jagged hole in the side of the building. By then, the fight was over, so they could take him directly to the lab.

Medic’s Evaluation:

“I’m guessing zhis is your first mental breakdown?”

“Mental…doc, I ain’t crazy. Wait, you’re not goin’ to put me in a straight jacket, are ya?”

“If you’re not doing anyzhing later.”

Medic started to laugh, but quickly realized this might not be the time.

“No, Scout, everyvun has a mental breakdown at least vunce in their lives. It’s a…how do you say…a vake-up call of sorts. Vhen your body has no other options left.”

“Whaddya mean?”

“For zhe past few months, you health, both physical and mental, has been deteriorating. You eat less. You talk less. Your attacks are lackluster. You have bags under your eyes. You flinch vhen somevun yells for you. You stare off into space. Your routine, vhich usually has at least some changes, has become stringent, as if you can’t possibly expend any more energy into extra activities. You have avoided Demoman on zhe battlefield, even though you usually use him for cover.”

Medic flipped through his notes.

“I have pages and pages of your decline. However, as a scientist, I believe it is caused by zhe same source. And, though I usually respect my patient’s right to privacy vhen it comes to these sorts of matters, I believe you’ve been keeping something from me. Something that I should know as your general practitioner…your doctor.”

Scout shrugged, already shutting out the conversation.

Medic sighed.

“Maybe I tried to talk to you about zhis too soon. After all, you’ve just had a very sudden and exhausting episode. But…perhaps…”

Medic took a sheet of printer paper from his clipboard and a spare pen from his pocket.

“…zhere is an alternative.”

Scout was still unresponsive, but Medic continued.

“Zhere is a patient in my vaiting room vis a metal pole through the chest. It vill take me at least an hour to properly remove it, and a few minutes more to heal zhe area. Vhile I do zhat, vhy don’t you draw how you feel?”

Medic smiled.

“I know how much it grounds you.”

It wasn’t until Medic left that Scout actually picked up the pen, but he began drawing immediately.

For the first time in a while, he wasn’t trying to hide his strokes or scratch up the cleaner lines. No more stick figures. No more pretending.

Five minutes later, he was fully engrossed.

Medic started to walk in at one point, but, seeing how relaxed Scout was, decided to give him a few more minutes.

He deserved it.

[deusluxuria]

anonymous asked:

Stardust Crusaders + Holly dealing with/reacting to Jotaro have a meltdown, shutdown, or sensory overload?

◇◇◇

(content note: ableism, autmisia)

◇◇◇

Before Jotaro met the Crusaders, his mom was the only person who noticed the signs of Jotaro being overwhelmed and on the verge of a meltdown.

Jotaro didn't know he was autistic until his early twenties, but Holly was very receptive to his needs regardless. It was just a matter of listening.

It's hard for him when he has meltdowns around people who don't know him as well as Holly does, because he often doesn't know what he needs in order to feel okay again. He needs someone to walk him through it, offer suggestions, and not force anything.

He always rejects hugs from his father. Always has. Jotaro's father doesn't understand him at all, and is most definitely of the "why can't you just be 'normal'" asshole type.

Holly has always asked permission before hugging him, so he trusts her and knows he can go to her for support.

As a teenager and an adult, Jotaro doesn't hug as much. Usually it's only if he's upset. And he only hugs people he really, strongly trusts. (Holly, Kakyoin, Abdul, his wife, Jolyne, Josuke).

Holly could easily list the signs of Jotaro being overwhelmed: very tense, much quieter than usual, clumsy, more irritable, rocking back and forth, pulling on his ear or a piece of hair, checking his surroundings more...

Jotaro typically has the quieter, more internal meltdowns. He'll feel so angry and just kind of collapse in on himself.

If he's having a personal life crisis, sometimes he'll punch a wall or a door, with no other way to get those emotions out.

Jotaro becomes non-verbal sometimes when he gets upset, non-speaking and also not able to verbalize in any way, such as groaning or sighing to express frustration.

Holly noticed this about him since his childhood, and she taught him a few basic signs in BSL (British Sign Language). As an adult, he knows JSL and ASL, but the signing he learned from Holly is close to his heart.

If Holly notices Jotaro feeling overwhelmed, she'll ask only yes-or-no questions, and ask one of them at a time. She'll ask if he needs to spend time around people, or to be left alone.

When Jotaro was little, she noticed he would run his hands under the sink for a long time when he was stressed. So for when he had meltdowns, she started putting him in the bath and spraying warm water on his scalp while brushing his hair.

From something as simple as watching and listening, she learned how to care for him and be a good parent, instead of an antagonist seeing him as a burden or thinking of him as broken or possessed.

◇◇◇

Abdul is an empath, and he's easily overwhelmed by others' emotions and by tense atmospheres. So he can relate to Jotaro's agoraphobia and sensitivites.

Jotaro himself is high-empathy as well.

Mohammed recognizes when Jotaro seems tense and overwhelmed, regardless of how Jotaro might not express those feelings on the surface.

Mohammed can be a bit more forgiving towards neurotypical lack of understanding, towards himself and other adults. But he won't tolerate it when it's harmfully impacting someone like Jotaro, who Mohammed has seniority over (him being an adult and Jotaro being a minor) and swears to protect.

He's someone Jotaro can cry in front of. Just with the energy he has. Similar to Holly's energy, but not as coddling.

Mohammed wakes up at 4AM every morning, habitually, since his parents always did so when he was a child, answering the Islamic call to prayer that sounds through Egypt. Mohammed is Pagan, but he likes to listen to the call, and remember those very early mornings from his childhood.

After the Crusaders group had arrived in Egypt, Jotaro couldn't sleep the first night. He went for a walk early, and when the call to prayer started, he sat down to listen. He'd never heard it before and didn't know what it was. But it was beautiful and it helped him to cry, finally, for the first time during their mission. He had a hard time processing what was happening to Holly.

Mohammed went out for a walk, found Jotaro, and sat with him for a while. They talked for ages, Jotaro feeling more open after crying and getting those repressed emotions out. They both shared about how they find people overwhelming and they get stressed easily. Jotaro talked about how he was feeling.

◇◇◇

(I headcanon Kakyoin as having BPD.)

Kakyoin admires Jotaro and looks up to him, a surprising change to his own arrogance. Noriaki doesn't typically look up to others.

It'd be alarming for him to see Jotaro have a moment of vulnerability. But essential. The two boys are only human, and sometimes Noriaki forgets that.

Noriaki, like Jotaro, has very intense emotions. So intense that he has to do something physical to cope with them. For Noriaki, that means things like punching a wall or screaming. Jotaro copes by stimming: snapping a rubber band against his wrist, showering in cold water, putting ice between his toes, using a float tank, being hugged, or squeezing into a pressured space like under weighted blankets or in a dense closet.

Noriaki is a PLEASE HELP ME sort of meltdowner, and Jotaro is more LEAVE ME ALONE. On the surface. Sometimes it's vice-versa, sometimes it's much more complex than that.

I feel like Jotaro and Kakyoin might fight about how they deal with their emotions. Because of their lack of understanding. Not just about each other, but each about himself.

Jotaro would find Noriaki's emotions overwhelming at times, and be put off by his occasional spikes of odd behavior. But it'd definitely be internalized ableism. Jotaro would need to recognize that the both of them are seen as odd, and because of that, they have a lot of self-hatred. Which, unfortunately, they'd bounce off each other.

I feel like they'd hug a lot, though. Despite both of them being people who are extremely selective about who gets to hug them.

They'd be very close friends after learning more about themselves and about each other.

◇◇◇

The whole Crusaders group trying to help Jotaro with a meltdown would be a mess, and they'd make it worse at first.

To the point where Jotaro would just sit on the floor, cover his face with his hat, press his hands over his ears, and either groan or go nonverbal.

They'd just have to leave him alone at that point.

If one of them tried to ask him questions later like, "What was stressing you out? How can we do better next time?," the subject would frustrate him so much that he could only answer flatly with, "I don't know. I don't know. I don't know."

It was very difficult for Jotaro to accept and understand himself before finding out he's autistic. He thought there was something wrong with him, mostly from observing the way other people reacted to him. But things most definitely got easier once he knew.

[httpsaiki]

hi, I saw requests were open and had to send one >//< hope im not bugging you too badly eheh. anyways, may I request a teruhashi x fem!reader fic? maybe on a first date to a shopping district or mall. and reader is semi nervous and has slight doubts about dating someone like teruhashi, in which teruhashi reassures her.

Hi! You most certainly may! I loved this so much, I think Teruhashi is honestly a really great character and this idea was far too cute to pass up. That being said, this is very self-indulgent and I really hope you like it! Teruhashi deserves all the love! If this isnt’t what you wanted, please let me know and I am more than happy to redo it! Thank you for your request!!

----

Reader is female! There are mentions of insecurity of things like self-worth, social status and offhandedly body image, so please don’t read if you are sensitive to that.

WC: 1627

Kokomi and the reader have never had a proper date and today seems like a great day! But, the reader is nervous as Kokomi is just so perfect in her eyes (and everyone else’s). She of course picks up on this, and comforts her beloved girlfriend.

—————————————————–

You had been adding the finishing touches to your outfit, getting ready to head out. Were you ready for this, though? A date? With Teruhashi? While you were close enough to her to know a bit more of her true self - you are dating after all - it was always at least a little nervewracking being in public with her. Normally, your dates would be stay at home things, like study dates or a simple dinner, nothing out of the ordinary from before you started dating. You opted for the small things as Teruhashi got constant stares and her fans could be over the top sometimes. It could be very stressful, as you both usually just wanted to relax together. Today, on the other hand, you’d made plans to go out shopping It was finally summer vacation, so why not give it a shot? You two always talked about looking for clothes together and walking around cute shops and sightseeing.

The thing was, Teruhashi looked perfect no matter what she wore. You adore that about her, of course! But it did make getting yourself ready rather stressful. Every time you got dressed to see her, you’d always ask yourself how you’re so lucky. Before you got together, you’d been friends for a good while, and eventually, it evolved into more. You were both happier this way, and you knew she did care deeply for you. Still, you needed to find the perfect outfit for this outing, and the one you were wearing just wouldn’t cut it. This would be what you both classified as your first date, it was a big deal and you felt you needed to look your best.

You really had the best luck, huh? Right as you were about to change, the doorbell rang. Teruhashi was here already! This outfit would have to do. Running over to the door after quickly checking everything over, you opened it to see Teruhashi standing there, a polite smile adorned on her face.

Oh wow. She's stunning. Even more so than usual, she just looked perfect. Feeling your nerves come back even stronger, you tried your best to match her smile, greeting her, to which she excitedly echoed the greeting. It was time to go shopping, and you would just have to see how this works out.

On the way there, you both managed to make small talk. Whether it be talking about each other’s day or small things, like how nice it was that school was out for a bit. Nevertheless, this part was nice. There was little to no public pressure, save for the occasional stare from some random person, but that was something that you’d gotten used to by now. Once closer to the mall, you became quiet. It would be busy today, a lot of people would see you. You still believed your social status was so far from Teruhashi’s, and she would be embarrassed to be seen in public with you. You continued to make your way to the mall, despite being lost in thought. You managed to hide your doubts from Teruhashi for the time being.

The first shop you entered was a clothing shop. Despite it being generic, you and Teruhashi had a great time picking clothes for each other to try, whether they be purposefully horrendous or genuinely good-looking clothing. Both of you walked out with something new, but nothing that you had picked for yourselves, choosing to favour the clothes the other had picked out. It was a wonderful time, and that continued for a few more clothes stores, both of you giggling and smiling the whole time. You’d also visited some book stores, browsing various selections and enjoying each other's company (albeit, a bit quieter now). You held hands as you browsed some novels with Teruhashi, trying to find something you could read together on a future date.

Your worries had been long forgotten until you walked through the doors of the shop you dreaded the most. It was summer, so it only made sense she’d want to visit a shop like this. A swim shop. You hesitated to enter the door, and the change in your personality was almost immediate. You became more reserved, knowing Teruhashi would outshine you here no matter what you did. 

“Y/N?” Teruhashi turned towards you, grabbing your hand, “Is everything alright? You’ve gone quiet…”

Of course, she’d notice, this is Teruhashi, the most wonderfully observant person you know. She’s always worried more about the people around her rather than herself. 

“Sorry,” you apologized, “I’m fine, though.” Well, that wasn’t very convincing. It was hard to lie to her, and the rush of nervousness and doubt didn’t make it any easier. Teruhashi looked at you in the eyes, you’d never seen her so unimpressed. 

“I know you’re lying. Let’s go out to that bench. Please tell me what’s wrong.” She pulled you out of the swim shop, to the bench she’d pointed out earlier. She sat down and looked at you with the most serious expression she could muster. She was genuinely concerned, that much you could sense. It was easy to see in her eyes how much she cared, and you knew there was no way she’d give up on this.

Looks like you had no choice but to tell her, She’s worried about you, and there was no resisting that. Once Teruhashi got her mind set on something, she always saw it through to the end. And you being upset on your first date? She cared about you far too much to watch it any more. She wanted to help you feel better, more than she’s ever wanted to help anyone before.

“Okay. I’ll tell you.” She gave you a reassuring smile, holding one of your hands in both of hers as if to tell you that it’s going to be alright and she would be there to help you through this. With a sigh, you explained your feelings of inferiority, how you knew she could do better, and how you felt you would only ever hold her back. Her smile never wavered. It wasn’t happy, no, it stayed reassuring and supportive, communicating she had listened attentively to all of what you said.

“Y/N..” She trailed off. For once in Teruhashi’s life, she had no idea how to reply. How was she to tell you just how much you mean to her? How she thinks you might very well be the most beautiful girl in the world. You were everything she wanted in a person. Supportive, understanding, caring, and someone who’s able to see her as more than just a pretty face. She leaned in a bit closer, hugging you briefly before deciding on what to say.

“Thank you for telling me. I want you to know that I really don’t see you that way, and even if I know I can’t change how you see yourself, I want you to trust me when I say there is nobody else I want to be with. You’re so perfect for me, and I could never be happier with another girl in my life. I’ve had an amazing time with you, and you are so so much more than you think you are. I know I can’t fix it, but please let me support you and help you feel better for the time being.” 

By the end of her little speech, you both had tears in your eyes. You’d never cried in front of her, but this time you couldn’t help it. She hugged you again as those tears fell, rubbing your back to comfort you until you felt better. 

Once you calmed down, you offered to go back into the swim shop, if Teruhashi didn’t mind. You wanted a second try to have fun with your girlfriend. That’s right. Girlfriend. The word hit you harder than it had before, she picked you and it really wasn’t a joke. You smiled next to her, walking back into the swim shop.

“Hey, Teruhashi-” You were interrupted by her before you could finish. 

“Call me Kokomi.” To that, you just about screamed. Your smile widened greatly (and in her head, Teruhashi had a mini-meltdown and how cute you are).

“Okay. Kokomi, do you want to get matching swimsuits?”

She clapped her hands together, practically jumping in excitement. “I do!”

Hurrying further into the store, you both searched the walls of swimsuits and accessories until you landed on a swimsuit that was just perfect. You showed it to Teruhashi, who thought it was the perfect one too. Buying them, along with some shoes and sunglasses that Teruhashi picked out, you headed out of the store. It was getting late anyway.

You would both say today’s date had been a success. Feeling closer to your girlfriend, and getting the reassurance that you had no idea how badly you needed, you felt a lot better than you had this morning. You would never know how nervous Teruhashi had been this morning, either. Maybe someday she’d be brave enough to tell you how you made her heart stop and managed to make everyone else disappear. You’re really something special to her. You dropped her off at her house, placing a goodbye kiss on her cheek, never having seen her face so red. She promptly did the same, thanking you for such a wonderful day, and telling you how she hopes you two can do something together again soon.

And who knows, maybe you guys would have to go to the beach sometime soon. Those swimsuits need use, right? No matter what you did, as long as it was together, you and Teruhashi would be able to rock this world. With her, you knew you could do anything.

[super-hero-girls-netflix]

Having 2 Superman and still under appreciated XD

What would happen if someone had a ment down?

Hey, nice to hear from you. I'll give you the girls and their counterparts reaction.

Babs-

If Babs were to have a meltdown it would be like when someone is hurt and your not sure how to make them feel better. The team would be fluttering hands and exchanging looks. Or, if it individual, it depends. But they'll comfort her because Babs is the type of person you know needs to be comforted at that moment. Babs would be stiff as a board seconds before the tears, then her whole body will be spasming with all the stress and worry on her. The team(mate) might even bring Babs onto their lap and rock her back and forth.

If Barry were to individually witness Babs meltdown then he'd make sure she was away from the public eye. And then hug her untill she felt better. If she looks stressed and sad enough he might cry with her because he's just so sensitive. Then buy her ice cream and sit and eat with her untill she feels better and up to talking. No rush.

If Babs were to witness someone else having a meltdown she'd immediately take action. If the person is stingy about showing themselves any way but their best then she'd press her back against the friend and wait it out. Might even talk to distract her or calm her down. If they didn't mind it she'll cling to them and console them like crazy because God knows they need it.

Diana-

If Diana were to have a meltdown it would be about something big. Rarely she focuses on her emotions so it'll have to be a bunch of little things on top of that. She'd escape and have her meltdown in private since that is always a priority. But if the girls where to find her, she'd let them stick around. She is not the crying type, she'll simply shake or stare at the wall blankly. Tears don't come easily, at least they never fall. The girl(s) would stick around. They'd braid her hair or tell stories to distract her before she can sink further into panic.

If Steve were to witness Diana's breakdown then she'd send him away because she wouldn't let him see her like that. Then he'd get donuts and wait for her on the other side of the door. Talk about good things. Or aspects of Diana that impresses him.

If Diana were to witness someone having a meltdown she'd be very awkward about it. She'd sit there. Listen to their complaints or fears about themselves. Then, maybe awkwardly, pat the girls back and state her opinion. Internally worrying if she wasn't saying the right thing, she totally was.

Jess-

If Jess were to have a meltdown it would be when she's stuck in a seemingly hopeless situation. Stuck with no way to figure it out. The witness to this will be surprised because she seems fine five minutes ago and it makes them think...was she fine at all? Then they'd panic because Jess was the mom friend. Jess will turn her body away, she doesn't want them to see her. So the girl(s) will just sit there, untill she gets it out if her system. Then wait with her untill she's ready to talk about it. Tying her hair back, even.

If Hal were to witness Jess' meltdown he'd be Hal about it, at first. Say something like 'you sure are not a pretty crier', and when she snaps at him and tries to leave he'll realize how serious it is and help her through it. Just wait her out, because crying is good for you. He'll probably insist she tell him what's wrong and because he's Hal and who cares what he think (Jess' logic) she'll tell him. Then he'll tell her reassuring stuff. He'll probably keep talking even untill after she calms down. It's kind of sweet till he ruins it.

If Jess were to witness one of her teammates have a meltdown she'd be on it immediately. She'll just hug them close and let them cry on her shoulder, she'll rub soothing circles on their back. She'll simply hold them and she's so empathetic she might even cry with them. A ready listener.

Kara-

Kara would rather gouge her eyes out then let anyone see her cry. She's the type to not cry, to scream first. To beat her punching bag to scraps. They would let her do it. Untill she starts breaking the valuables. Then, if it's one or all, they'd hold her hand. And let Kara zone out. Sit with Kara even as Kara stares at a blank wall for hours on end. Then they'd hug her and talk her through it.

If Garth were to see her cry then he'd cry with her. He's a sensitive little bloke, yes he would. Not that she would cry. She'd scream and throw a big fit and then zone out. He'd wait her out and then hug her and assure her that everything will be okay. She doesn't hate with as much as she thought she would.

If Kara were to comfort one of her teammates meltdown she'd just sit with them. Her back against theirs, silent support. She might even tilt her head back and rest it on their shoulder, she'll wait them out untill they speak. Might hum. Always breaks whatever tension afterwords with a terrible joke that is in no way funny but still makes them laugh.

Karen-

If Karen were to have a meltdown then the team(mates) would be unsure of how to proceed. She's an angry crier. She'd be waving her little fists and yelling as loud as she can but as soon as she loses her momentum she'll just deflate and stare blankly with a tear stained face. They would wrap her up in a hug and blanket as soon as she does. Ready to listen if she wants to talk about it.

If Carter were to witness Karen meltdown he'd first pretend he didn't see anything. But he can't keep that up for long, he'd wait her out in another room. Sit outside the door maybe and once she got it out if her system he'll buy her some ice cream and sit with her quietly, in case she wants to talk about it.

If Karen were to witness a meltdown she'd simply hold their hand and wait. Will sing silly boy band lyrics and simply exist besides her teammate. After, she'll make it her sole goal to cheer and make said teammates life better.

Zee-

If Zee were to have a meltdown it would be over something seemingly small but it's actually just the last straw. Depending on the trigger she will either burst into tears, in privacy if course, or explode into yells. Her brow will tent and her fists shake. Her team (mates) will try to soothe her, since she hyperventilates slightly when this happens. Or encourage her to cry it out. They sit next to her and remind her she's loved.

If Oliver witnesses Zee's meltdown he'll simply sit next to her, facing a wall, and make it about himself. Occasionally, grudgingly complimenting Zee or criticizing whatever was the last straw. It actually...helps a lot. Then if Zee thanks him he'll sniff and insist he 'has no idea what your talking about' but he'll offer her a small smile and a ride home anyway.

If Zee were to witness someone else's meltdown she'd simply wipe their face and maintain eye contact untill they stop, probably weirded out. Then she'll slaughter every doubt or anxiety they have by simply being uplifting then take them out to get some Sweet Justice.

😁 if you wanna see the boys your gonna have to ask for it!!! Lovely ask, I enjoyed doing it.

[h-hewings]

**Tearful Memories (fanfic w/headcanon)**

(Perhaps not all revenants are evil, spiteful versions if their former selves after all. Maybe they resent what they’ve become and long to be restored…)

Being the most trusted friend and ally of Kitana, Empress of the Netherrealm, it was to nobody’s surprise as to why Jade was appointed as the leader of the Netherrealm army. She would walk onto the frontlines, flanked by thousands of demonic Onis, ranging from lumbering tanks to skilled flyers, and guiding them into battle. One of which was from a group of Outworlders, sent by Kotal Kahn, to retrieve Shinnok’s head and destroy it, preventing any possible attempts to resurrect him. The Osh-Tekk forces collided with the Netherrealm Demons, where blood and viscera painted every inch of the battlefield, with the Kastle looming in the background. And Jade was in the midst of it all, alongside Kitana and Kung Lao, using her staff to strike down any Osh-Tekk fool that dared oppose her. In addition, she also utilised her glaive, throwing it like a boomerang and managing to slice through multiple enemies at once.

The battle continued to rage on as the Netherrealm forces began to outnumber their enemies. It was then that Jade encountered a foe that made her stop dead in tracks, not because of the intimidation or their skills, but because she was curious about something. Her glaring red eyes were focused on what the male soldier wore and she made it out to be a mask of some sort, but a sort that seemed extremely peculiar. Nevertheless, she ended up dominating the foolish warrior in battle, slaying him with a decapitation, using her glaive. The head rolled off the shoulders, spurting out blood, and Jade reached down to retrieve the mask. Unfortunately, she did not have enough time to view it.

“Our enemies are getting some backup.” Kung Lao said to her. “We must be ready for them, Jade.”

“Understood.” Came the Assassin’s response, she pocketed the mask behind her chest plates and unsheathed her staff, ready to finish the job. More and more Osh-Tekk soldiers charged into battle, towards the mass of demons, and more blood was spilt, turning the scenery of the Netherrealm even redder than it was before. However, Jade’s curiosity about the mask from earlier is seemingly having an effect on her confidence in battle, as she was unintentionally letting her guard down more often. It got so bad to the point where she was knocked down and almost killed multiple times, before she had to be saved by her peers. Luckily, the Osh-Tekk forces were driven out, and were sent retreating from the realm, carrying their fallen allies with them, as the demons around them roared in triumph. Jade groggily stood up as Kabal dashed over to check on her.

“You look rough.” He pointed out, noticing a few bruises on Jade’s arms, as well as a noticeable tear on her tights.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine, Kabal.” She said back.

“What happened out there, anyways? You weren’t looking your usual self.”

Jade hesitated before answering, as she wanted to keep the mask she found hidden from the others.

“Perhaps my mind wasn’t in the right place today.” She responded.

“Ah, I see.” The speedster nodded. “I think you oughta get some rest to clear your head. Here, I’ll help you back.” And with that, he carried her in his arms and used his Nomad Dash ability to zip away from the bloodied battlefield and over to Jade’s Chamber door.

“Thank you very much.” Jade smiled under her own mask as she stood herself up.

“It was the least I could do.” Kabal returned before he dashed off, leaving Jade alone to enter her quarters. Once she was inside, she immediately locked the door and removed her own mask, showing off her ash-grey face, a mere remnant of her past, yet still just as beautiful as the day she was slain. She had a brief look around her chambers, a dark, gothic room with not much to it, apart from relics hanging on walls and shelves, from her past battles in the Netherrealm. Jade unsheathed the mask she collected earlier and sat on the floor, giving herself a chance to inspect it better.

The colours of the mask itself were not very vibrant or eye-catching, but what made it stood out the most was the shape itself, of a human face, as well as the way the green was painted onto the silver body. Jade made it out to be an old funeral mask, originally made in Edenia. They were typically worn for important events, permanent looks of gloom and melancholy as a vessel moves on to the afterlife. The fact that the mask itself was made in Edenia brought back memories from within Jade’s mind, flowing around like an old film being played on repeat. She smiled as she reminisced about the time she spent in King Jerrod’s council, and her eternal friendship with Kitana, beginning from a very young age, to the point where she knew the Edenian princess for her entire life.

However, one memory soon led to another. Jade’s mind then flashed forward to a terrible event in time, where Shao Kahn invaded and conquered Edenia, murdering Jerrod, forcing Queen Sindel to marry him and taking Kitana and Jade as his captors, where they were forced to serve him, with Kitana as his adopted daughter. The look in Jade’s eyes soon turned from wonder to sadness, remembering the carnage she saw unfolding around her, as well as the murder of her parents, as the realm was purged and left in unrecognisable ruins. Soon, the train of thought in her mind soon turned dark, as another horrific memory flowed into her mind.

And that single memory was one that she had relieved almost every day for years now.

She remembered the hand of a corrupted Sindel thrusting through her chest and ripping her heart out.

She remembered the final gasps of air leaving her lungs as the life drained out of her.

And finally, she remembered air inexplicably filling her lungs as she awoke in an evil setting. And what happened next stuck to her mind like a deadly tumour.

She remembered looking around, her mind in a complete state of panic, having died not too long ago. How was she still alive!? Suddenly, a tremendous burning pain was felt through her entire body, as she raised her hands up, seeing her mocha-brown skin decay into a zombified grey colour. Her eyes widened in horror as the pupils became colourless before flashing a dangerous shade of red. All of a sudden, she dropped to her knees, letting out a spine-chilling scream of pure agony, feeling her mind being corrupted and drained, as a result of Quan Chi’s dark magic. It was like her positive and kind-hearted feelings were being disintegrated to ashes, whilst feelings of evil, spite, negativity and malice took their place. This was a pain that Jade could never have imagined was possible and was far worse than her quicker, and even more painless death. Eventually, the pain ceased and the Emerald Assassin, Jade was no more, for a Revenant doppelganger had taken her place.

As the nightmare played out in her mind once again, Jade stared into the distance, traumatised and full of despair. Her eyes widened in stress as she heard screams of “SOMEONE HELP ME!” and “PLEASE...END THIS PAIN!” Unlike most of her fallen allies who accepted this new form, she absolutely despised it, both before and now. She did not want to be seen as a heartless monster, whose only function is to kill, as it completely went against her own morals. She felt less like a deadly assassin and more like a vessel for carnage.

Tears began to form and well up in Jade’s eyes, upon being reminded of her horrific fate, before she began weeping uncontrollably, her head lowered and her arms clutching the mask, as if it was a treasured relic. After all of the stress that has been packed onto her for years, Jade had finally reached her breaking point. Looking past the negative views on Revenants, she was still Jade by heart. A fallen hero who longs to have her life put back together again, but to the current circumstances, it was impossible. When all is said and done, she is merely the tragic heroine who just wants to go home…

Her cries were louder than usual. Typically, when she had her occasional emotional meltdowns, she would keep it quiet, smothering her noises through gritted teeth or a nearby pillow. This was because she feared that her peers would berate her for being weak. Her fears were about to come true when she heard the door creak open, and she tried to pull herself together, but she failed and continued sobbing in grief. The person at the door was Kitana, who heard her friend’s cries, but rather than admonish her for it, the Empress wore a look of concern on her face as she stepped in, closing the door behind her.

“My dear friend!” She said, her tone sounding worried. “What on earth is troubling you?”

Jade sniffled a bit and leant her head to the side, giving her a look at her broken face. Her eyelids were all swollen and puffy from crying and there were clear wet lines going down the sides of her face, from the tears. Her lower lip wavered before she resumed weeping, causing Kitana to kneel down to her level and comfort her, raising her head up and wiping away a few tears.

“It is alright to cry, Jade.” She attempted to console her closest friend. Despite being viewed as a strict, spiteful and heartless ruler, Kitana clearly showed that she still has some space left in her heart for the one person who’s been by her side her entire life. “Now, I’d really appreciate it if you speak your mind to me. I promise I will hear you out.”

After having literally all the tears drained from her eyes, all Jade could do was let out a depressed sigh.

“Everything is wrong, Kitana.” She explained, sorrowfully. “Through all of these years, I have despised what I’ve become, and not just me, but all of my friends. None of us deserved to be sanctioned to a fate far worse than death.” She looked down at her hands. Physically, they were changed to an undead grey tone, in contrast to her living dark skin, but metaphorically, she knew that they were stained with the blood of innocent people she had slayed throughout the years as a vanguard in the Netherrealm. “I know deep down, that this is not who I’m supposed to be.”

Jade shifted a bit before revealing the mask that she had retrieved from the battlefield. And immediately, Kitana noticed that is was an Edenian relic, worn by some of the maids during funerals. It was a tradition that carried over to Outworld, following the demise of Shao Kahn.

“When I found this mask,” Jade continued, “I was curious about it and had a look, reminding myself about how happier we were, before Edenia was conquered. But then those same nightmarish memories of when we became revenants filled my mind once more, something that has troubled me for years now.” Her voice began to waver off a bit as she continued to speak her mind. “Oh, Kitana. You don’t know how much I despise it here, living as an undead beast for all eternity...I- I just want to go back home!” At this point, she was close to breaking down once more but this time, she barely managed to keep control of her emotions, but not without letting a few tears loose, as Kitana comforted her, placing an arm around her shoulder. She waited until Jade faced her because she, too, had something she wanted to get off her back.

“I know the pain that you feel, Jade.” The Empress began to explain, as Jade looked into her glowing, ruby-like eyes.

“You do?”

“Indeed. I fully agree with you that none of us deserved this fate and deep down, I had even regretted my actions against innocent people. In fact, I used to gently cry myself to sleep for a few nights, whenever one of those situations occur, because I knew that the real Kitana would never mercilessly kill.” As Kitana continued to speak, Jade perked her head up, beginning to understand a bit more about her ally.

“But alas, this is what we are now.” Kitana said, solemnly. “I’m afraid that there is no possible way to restore Edenia at the moment. But this is why we need to try and resist looking at the past and towards the future. Because with enough hope and motivation, I’m sure that we will have it brighter than any moment in our past.” She leaned her body down a bit further to look directly at Jade. “And trust me when I say this, Jade. When it does happen, there will be nothing to worry about. There won’t be any reason to be ashamed of what we are, no more bloodshed to cause around us, no more nightmares about the past. In the end, it will just be the two of us…together.”

Upon hearing Kitana’s heartwarming monologue, a smile formed on Jade’s face as she leaned towards her Empress to lovingly embrace her. Kitana returned the hug, gently wrapping her arms around Jade’s body, smiling and knowing that through hell and back, there will be no separating them. Eventually, they had to split and Kitana returned to her own Chambers as Jade prepared herself for bed and laid down on the soft mattress.

Before she drifted off to sleep, she wanted to take in every word that Kitana said. She had been taught that in order to progress in life, she needed to try and not let the past haunt or shame her. She knew that eventually, the nightmare will be over and she, Kitana, Liu Kang, Kung Lao and others will be free from this curse, able to live their lives. But until then, all she can do is be hopeful, and that is more than enough to ensure herself a better future.

(Thanks for reading! Basically, my hc for Revenant Jade is similar to Kung Lao’s ending in MKX, in that she despises her life as a revenant and longs to be restored, along with her allies. I wish NRS added something like this to give the Revs more personality rather than jobber minions. I imagine Jade & Kung Lao leaving the gang and finding a way to change them back, Liu Kang embracing the evil and planning on invading Earthrealm whilst Kitana is torn between choosing her boyfriend and her best friend)

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

Amy Martinez (Character Sheet TV Tropes Style) A-E

Amy Martinez is my BNHA/AHS OC!!

She is a young girl from New Orleans and a witch from Miss. Robichaux’s Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies who transfers into UA and earned a spot in the Hero Course. She currently resides in a very lavish mansion that belonged to the former Supreme Fiona Goode, and as it turns out, Amy originally lived in Japan but her parents were murdered by witch hunters who infiltrated Japan in search of her mother. The pro-heroes, unable (and unwilling) to take care of a young witch, had her transferred and placed under the care of Fiona and the New Orleans coven, where she was later taken in by the current Supreme and her godmother Cordelia Goode. Despite her appearance, Amy is very hyperactive, eccentric and mischievous by nature, isn’t above doing immoral and wicked things and has an offbeat sense of humor that tends to be off-putting to her new classmates. However, that doesn’t mean Amy is all bad, and in fact does have a compassionate and empathetic side that comes out when she’s with friends, especially her childhood friend Shinsou Hitoshi, ally Midoriya Izuku and later, her new best friend Ashlen Kyanse.

Speaking of which! Ashlen Kyanse is NOT mine, she’s my best friend @ashleigh-luvs-14cats​‘s OC! :D :3 

TV Tropes About Amy:

A Girl and Her Dog: She adopts a Northern Inuit Puppy that she and Ashlen name Dakota and he becomes her loyal animal companion and emotional support dog. 

A God Am I: Not really, but her words to Midoriya during her rampage resembled something of a god complex (at the time at least).

Amy: You can’t beat me Izuku... One For All couldn’t defeat Fiona Goode, the reigning supreme at the time, you can’t beat me now, even with One For All, you can’t beat me either! None of you heroes can! I’m a goddamn witch!

Accidental Murder: She accidentally kills Aizawa by giving him an apple she didn’t know was poisoned and charmed to look perfectly normal by Madison. Which resulted in Madison having to bring him back to life with Vitalum Vitalis.

Action Girl: Amy is always ready for a fight, and knows HOW to fight as well as she’s proven to be a very valuable and proficient student in the Hero Course.

Adoring The Pests: A tanuki once got into the dorm building, because Amy let it in since she found it ‘adorable’ and even named him ‘Shadow’. And although Iida told her to stop feeding the tanuki’s, Amy continues to do so because she thinks they’re too cute to not feed. 

Amy also states that she would feed the possums in America because she thought they were adorable. 

Adorkable: Despite her many eccentricities Amy’s a dork at heart a shown through her love of singing, dancing and making silly puns, and then there’s her girlish excitement when she’s around animals and toys as well as her oddly endearing fangirl reactions to Brendon Urie, Melanie Martinez and Stevie Nicks. Further displayed whenever she dances and sings with Shinsou and Ashlen.

Affectionate Nickname: “Ames” by Kaminari, Shinsou, Ashlen and a majority of her classmates. As well as “Witch Bitch” by Bakugo, it was initially used as an insult but became his term of endearment for her.

Her ex-boyfriend Damien called her “Amzy”, albeit as a means to manipulate her.

Ashlen also fondly calls her “Witchy”.

Fiona tends to call her “Sweet Amy”

Marie Laveau also affectionately refers to her as “Baby Witch”.

All of the Other Reindeer: Much like Midoriya, Amy was picked on and teased by other kids because she and they believed that she was quirkless and mocked her for it to the point of calling her ‘Powerless/Quirkless Amy’. It backfires tremendously when Amy supposedly gains a quirk, but has to pretend it’s only a Telekinesis quirk. The kids didn’t stop picking on her, but she really didn’t bother making any other friends other than Shinsou because of the bullying.

And this even extends to other witches, while Amy found a new family in her sisters Zoe and Queenie (after Misty, Nan and Madison died) Robichaux opened up to hundreds of other witches around the country. Amy was initially ecstatic and eager to make new friends just like her, only to realize that being a witch didn’t stop other witches from bullying her and thinking she’s weird even for their standards, which just added to Amy’s evergrowing sense of loneliness. 

Ambiguous Disorder: Has a crippling fear of being abandoned, extreme overreactions and outbursts (taking All-Might and Aizawa’s criticisms of her powers very strongly, screams at Midoriya over a disagreement), indulges in risky behaviors (drugs, shop-lifting, partying at college parties despise being underage), is highly impulsive (Iida has to stop her when she performs in combat too recklessly), prone to emotional meltdowns, shows can occasional lack of empathy and has unstable relationships (Bakugo, Midoriya, Aizawa, etc.). All of which are signs of Borderline Personality disorder or Bipolar Disorder, two of these Iida speculates she may have. However, some of her these behaviorisms also resemble Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder due to her inability to control her emotions, feelings of emptiness and worthlessness, and moments of hostility towards her peers to the point of avoiding her friends and relationships. And then Shachath also mentions that she tends to have regular ‘songs’ of suicide which act as a further indication that Amy might have CPTSD. 

Anguished Declaration of Love: During a fit of pure rage, she fights with Midoriya but when he pins her down, her psychotic exterior breaks a little bit as she breaks down crying and tells him that she loves him. However, because of Midoriya’s insecurities and familiarity with Amy’s mischievous nature, he doesn’t believe her and yells at her to stop playing around. Needless to say, it goes all downhill for him from there...

Animal Motifs: It’s subtle but she has a fox motif as her handle online is ‘KitsuneGirl’ and she has black tips on her blonde hair, a mischievous and sneaky personality, her tendency to act as a trickster both during and out of combat, and her witchcraft and magic also alludes to the kitsune and their various magical abilities in Japanese culture.

Anti-Hero: She’s self-centered, obnoxious, aggressive and occasionally breaks every rule she wants as she believes she can make her own rules due to her powers, but this is her being a troublemaker at best as she tends to take a radical approach as a means of standing up for what she believes in: Love.

Anti-Villain: At her worst she outright sides against her class and does immoral things whether it’s stealing, murder or even attacking allies, although she has no plans to become a villain and merely indulges in her worst impulses when she’s in a bad mood and isn’t above being cruel to her own classmates should they cross her.

Arc Villain: In a way, and relatively minor. As the Culture Festival arc comes to an end, Amy’s overwhelmed by the realization of how the pro-heroes could have taken care of her but didn’t, along with being kidnapped by the villains and her and Midoriya’s dissipating relationship. It becomes too much for her to bear that she flies into an ultra-tantrum and attacks Aizawa, the other teachers and puts her classmates into a slumber (to spare them her wrath) and destroys some of UA’s property and Midoriya has to stop her. But in the end he doesn’t win, instead, Shinsou has to talk her down. 

Arch Enemy: Amy has made several enemies, but of all the foes she feels a tremendous hatred towards and desire to destroy once and for all is Scathach, the wicked witch of the Roanoke forest who she aspires to kill and free all the souls she trapped in the forest. 

Attention Deficit Oooh Shiny!: Amy is very, very easily distracted by things, especially if there’s a cute animal involved, music she likes is playing or if there’s food. She CAN learn to focus but it’s… a challenge.

Attention Whore: Almost always desperate for attention regardless of whether it’s positive or negative and always performs outlandish things or says bizarre things if it means having other people’s attention on HER.

She even goes so far as to sometimes wear Madison’s inappropriate undergarments in hopes that someone will flip her skirt all for the sake of attention. 

The Atoner: After her brush with the apocalypse which allowed her and Mallory to go back in time to stop it, Amy realizes how cruel she was to her classmates and resolves to apologize and become a better classmate and friend to everyone. And she felt horrible when she needed to repeat history (including acting like a jerk) in the new timeline as a means to keep time flowing the way it needed to be but still lived up to promising to be better to her friends. It only gets better when Ashlen comes into her life and inspires Amy to keep living up to this promise. 

Ax-Crazy: Shows a disturbingly homicidal excitement when annihilating her opponents in battle, gleefully murders when given the chance and is a little too happy when talking about horror stories that include serial killers such as the Axe Man or Twisty The Clown.

And then she goes off the deep-end once the Culture Festival ends by attacking her teacher, classmate (Midoriya), beating her other teachers with little effort and causing destruction around UA, until she’s eventually subdued by her own merit and Shinsou’s influence.

The Baby of The Bunch: She’s the youngest witch of the original coven of Miss Robichaux’s Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies consisting of Cordelia, Zoe, Queenie, Madison, Nan and Misty, with Cordelia being in her late 20′s at the time while the other girls were at least 17-24 while Amy was only 11. Even as she’s gotten older, her witch sisters still look after her as the ‘little sister’ of the coven. 

Back From The Dead: Amy is momentarily killed and impaled by witch hunters in her first year at UA, but is revived by Misty and returns to her distraught and relieved classmates.

She dies again in her second year but by her ex-boyfriend Damien who made a deal with Papa Legba by trading her life for his own life and drowned her in a bathtub. Only to be revived by Madison. 

The Bad Guy Wins: Sort of. She takes on a more villainous role after the Culture festival ends and all the stress, realizations and Midoriya’s growing impatience with her makes her go berserk. And so, Amy attacks her teacher, other teachers, causes mayhem and destruction around UA (although she does spare all of the students), knocks out her classmates so she doesn’t hurt them and then partakes in a big fight with Midoriya. However, while he manages to pin her down, Amy gets the upper hand and beats him to a bloody pulp when he ignites more fuel to her raging Sentio Compassios and although her rampage was put to an end, it’s only because she stopped herself and Shinsou (and later All-Might and Cordelia) managed to talk her down. Ultimately, Amy still defeated Midoriya and UA faced some damage from her rage, and in the end, she faced no real consequences as Cordelia urged the school to pardon her while giving them a The Reason You Suck Speech. While Amy was pardoned of the damage she caused, she ended up withdrawing with UA for several months.  

Badass Adorable: Cute in appearance, generally endearing and funny with her classmates but also hella strong in combat with amazing powers that she knows how to use very well and make her opponents fear her. This is showcased during her fight with Todoroki in which she gets him to realize just how strong she is.

Badass Boast: Can’t help but go on about how awesome and powerful she is at times in battle, but at times it can also be scary when she’s angry.

Amy: You think you can control me? Is that what this is? That’s how Hero Society works doesn’t it? (bursts into laughter) You... really think you can control me? Wow... you know... this is why witch hunters emerged... they were afraid of witches and their power... you might not be a witch hunter... but the fact that you think you can control me? Is priceless... (suddenly screaming) NO ONE CAN CONTROL ME! NO ONE CAN DEFEAT ME! NO ONE CAN KILL ME, NO ONE!!!

Bad Powers, Good People: It varies on her fluctuating morality but Amy is usually a good person who has the ability to control people not unlike Shinsou’s Brainwashing, except she can actually harm them by frying their brains should they attempt to resist her.  

Balloon Belly: Always has one after eating too much, which is every day. Especially when she went to Pizza Hut with Shinsou and Ashlen, much to Shinsou’s disgust and Ashlen’s amusement. 

Because You Were Nice To Me: She and Shinsou became friends for this very simple but pure reason in daycare. She was just coloring and when he wanted crayons she happily gave them to him, and when he called her coloring ‘pretty’, she started following him around and vice-versa.

Similarly, her reasoning for becoming best friends with Ashlen is also simple but pure as they met online during the period where Amy stopped attending UA and isolated herself in her mansion. Amy is just as opinionated online as she is in real life, although she also loads up her feed with silly things that she likes along with stories and drawings, but Ashlen genuinely liked her content and complimented her and started talking to her. Which drew Amy closer to her until they meet up in real life and Amy is overly friendly to her, but it’s all because Ashlen was kind to her and listened to her whenever she vented.

Belligerent Sexual Tension: She and Bakugo have been bickering and fighting with each other since they first met as children and never stopped when they met again in high school, but they’re very passionately in love with each other as Amy says that he’s the one she’s truly in love with and Bakugo can’t easily let her go even if she gets on his nerves, he’s clearly in love with her.

Berserk Button: She has quite a few…

Any sexist remark is bound to set her off into a tirade but if it’s directed towards her or God forbid her female friends, she WILL hurt you.

Taking her hat (if she’s wearing it) off is a quick way to piss her off.

Taking her food, whether accidentally or intentionally, WILL provoke her into violence, if you’re a child she’ll hurt you emotionally, but if you’re her age or an adult, it’s fair game as Izuku learned the hard way.

Tampering with her possessions is a VERY fast way to piss her off into a tranquil rage as she maimed a group of college boys (that she didn’t invite) when they trashed the bottom floor of her mansion at a party. 

Don’t say anything bad about Brendon Urie. She shares this with Shinsou, who both call it ‘blasphemy’.

Don’t tell her to “Shut Up”.

And don’t yell at her for that matter, although she gets more emotional and upset when yelled at rather than angry.

Frozen. Let it Go. That is all.

Not being appreciated, remembered or neglected is probably her biggest one with her least comical reaction as she’ll grow from irritated to enraged in seconds should she feel that someone is unappreciative of her, has forgotten her or neglecting her for someone else.

Don’t call her ‘stupid’, but never, ever call her ‘selfish’ or ‘crazy’, mostly because she’s self-aware plenty and hates being reminded of it. 

Hurting ANY of her friends is the fastest way to get on her bad side as she will BURN you alive if you hurt her friends. If you’re lucky though, she’ll just hit you with an empty Dr. Pepper liter. 

Beta Bitch: When she and Madison are together, Amy essentially becomes her right hand bitch. 

Beware The Nice Ones: She’s not always sweet but is occasionally kind-hearted... until you piss her off that is... and then you’ll wish you didn’t.

Beware The Silly Ones: Very comical and extremely silly and fun-loving, but her classmates don’t underestimate her abilities or her temper as Amy becomes a force to be reckoned with in combat or when properly provoked.

Big Bad Duumvirate: She and Madison aren’t evil per se, but considered two of the nastier girls who use their magic for pranks and are even dubbed ‘The Sin Sisters’ by 1-A. 

Big Sister Mentor: Despite her being older than her, Amy (17) is quite sisterly with her witch friend Coco (25), as she teaches her how to do laundry and other household chores with the help of Iida. 

Big Brother Worship: In a way, Shinsou’s only eight days older than her, but Amy still regards him as like her brother and she adores him very much and believes in him the most in his quest to become a pro-hero. And was heartbroken when she had to leave him for his and her own protection to Robichaux.  

She absolutely adores her adoptive witch sisters Zoe, Misty and Mallory. Zoe especially because she was the first that she instantly became closest too when they met at Robichaux, and then she became very fast friends with Misty and wanted her to come to Robichaux, so she was overjoyed when she started to live with them. Finally, she and Mallory hit it off quickly due to being close enough in age but Amy still acknowledges Mallory as her senior and looks up to her like a big sister.

Downplayed with Madison. As Amy notes that Madison was a bitch to her as well as a horrible example in New Orleans and still is, but it doesn’t stop Amy from following her bad example from time to time, as well as still showing respect to Madison because of her undeniable power and occasional acts of kindness towards her and her friends at UA.

Big Damn Heroes: During the Stain Arc, she shows up just in time to hold off Stain off to keep him from seriously harming Todoroki, Midoriya and Iida and even distracts him for a brief moment.

Big Fancy House: Amy lives in a rather large mansion, while it’s not as big as Yaoyorozu’s it’s still pretty large, spacious and glamourous. It actually belonged to Fiona, but when she died Cordelia gave it all to Amy so she could have a house upon returning to Japan.

The Big Girl: Of 2-A, despite being one of the shortest girls, she’s certainly the strongest one due to her array of powerful abilities. 

Big Eater: Amy loves to eat and can clear a whole table due to her voracious appetite as she ate all the desserts in the dorm-rooms the first night, can eat a whole pizza as well as she cleared out the entire table during her’s, Shinsou’s and Ashlen’s first outing as friends and then ate dessert afterwards.

Big Sister Instinct: She took this attitude towards Kota. She wanted to bash Muscular’s head in once Midoriya knocked him out but the latter stopped her and Amy only reconsidered when she realized that Kota shouldn’t have to witness death a second time.

She’s also somewhat protective of Midoriya despite everything as she once dumped Bakugo for 2 months when she found out that he told the former to commit suicide in middle school.

She also displays this attitude towards some of her female friends especially Yaoyorozu, Ashido, Hagakure and Asui. And extends this towards classmates such as Kouda, Aoyama and Kaminari.

Likewise, she’s extremely protective of Shinsou, who she regards as like a brother to her, and Ashlen, her best friend who she also regards as like a sister to her.

Big Stupid Doodoo-head: Since Amy isn’t very mature, her insults can easily delve from vulgar to very childish such as ‘stupid-head’, ‘dum-dum’ ‘fartface’ and ‘butt-head’. Her arguments with Shinsou tend to delve into this very quickly.

Amy: I would have had him if you actually covered me stupid! 

Shinsou: It’s not my fault dum-dum, you should have paid more attention. Instead of waving your magic around all over the damn place.

Amy: Yes it is! You know what? Instead of brainwashing you should wash your dumb face and your stupid mouth because stupid words keep coming out!

Shinsou: Your face is dumb and your insults are even dumber you jabbering bat.

Amy: No YOUR face is dumb and your hair looks like a rat’s butt! 

Bi The Way: Amy shamelessly expresses her attraction to the same sex, is very much enamored with Yaoyorozu and goes on about how ‘beautiful’ and ‘smart’ she is. Likewise, she’s very attracted to some of her fellow witches in her coven such as Mallory and even Madison as she calls Mallory a ‘fairy goddess’ and Madison a ‘sexy bitch’. And as she received a love letter from Monoma, she believed it was from a girl and seemed pretty excited by the thought of it. 

Birds Of A Feather: She and Shinsou became fast friends in their childhood due to similar senses of humor and then when Amy discovers her witch powers and she found out she could control people just like Shinsou. Even as they grew up and reunited they still share things in common such as witty, sly and clever personalities and tastes in music.

She and Bakugo of all people discover that they have a lot more in common than they thought once they started bonding and it shows through their fierce tempers, desire to prove themselves, unwillingness to show weaknesses and somewhat abrasive tendencies for that matter. This is despite Amy and Bakugo trying to claim that they’re ‘night and day’, nobody buys it.

This is also how and why she became fast friends with Ashlen via internet, while they didn’t meet each other face-to-face yet, they bonded over similar tastes in music, movies and penchant for puns. Although their personalities are drastically different when they DO meet face-to-face their friendship doesn’t deteriorate as they still get along and still share those things in common and indulge in their pillow talk just like any best friends.

Blackmail: Not at first, but when she gets angry at Aizawa she starts making constant threats to tell Cordelia on him for menial things as a means to get him to buckle due to his fear of the Supreme.

Blessed With Suck: Sort of. Amy loves having all of her powers, but Sentio Compassios, her unique power, tends to leave her emotionally exhausted whenever she uses it too much, and she can feel everyone’s pain and feelings if they are strong enough and Amy becomes instantly affected by them, which she says is not always pleasant since it’s something she can’t quite turn off.

Blood Knight: Amy is VERY eager to fight and spar with her friends because it gives her free reign to use her magic and overall just enjoys the thrill of it all.

Blue and Orange Morality: In a way, due to being a witch and coming from a more neutral side rather than the Heroes or Villains side as Amy would rather be supportive of others’ impulses and desires than operate on a normal morality the heroes follow. For example, she’s fine with Madison wanting to kill Aizawa, but is offended by Mineta’s perverted antics, and she was also perfectly okay with Shinsou talking smack about Tokoyami (their own classmate and her friend) but crossed the line at Bakugo dissing Brendon Urie. 

Book Dumb: She’s not the best student, but managed to score relatively high in exams as she ranked 11th out of the 21 students at the time. However, Amy is obviously not stupid despite showing some naivete and is in fact quite crafty, just not motivated in school or homework as she frequently needs her friends such as Shinsou, Midoriya, Ashlen and Bakugo to help her.  

Boomerang Bigot: Despite occasionally boasting about how witches are superior to normal humans with quirks, at the same time even she’s exasperated by other witches as she often says “other witches are bitches”, although is partially due to the fact that she’s had the misfortune of meeting other witches her age who are just as exclusive and snobbish as the kids she grew up with who picked on her for her lack of a quirk. And then it increases when she meets two other witches (Blair and Laura) in Japan who are somehow WORSE than her as they mock her friends and Amy quickly fights them off.

Bratty Teenage Daughter: Certainly, acts the part at times whether she’s putting up a whining fuss or showing an apathy towards things, especially towards Aizawa and Iida, the former who acts somewhat fatherly towards her and the latter who acts like an older brother towards her. It helps that she’s Cordelia’s goddaughter and she treats her with respect but has little towards the former two.

Amy: Oh Ms. Cordelia I love you! Mr. Aizawa I hate you! Hitoshi I need you! Katsuki, hey fuck you!

Brilliant But Lazy: She’s a powerful witch, knows many spells, potions and is very talented with magic and knows how to creatively use it in combat but has zero motivation in working and academics and would rather rely on her magic to do all the work for her or simply use it to cheat off of her more academically inclined classmates.

Broken Bird: Watching her mother being burnt to the stake, her father being lynched and finding her puppy killed by the witch hunters shattered her innocence. And then her experience in New Orleans added to the tragedies as she still felt hunted and hated by the same witch hunters as she was forced her to watch even more people get killed, including new friends and family such as Nan, Misty, Madison, Zoe and Myrtle. Although some of them got better, Amy was still traumatized by watching her new family all get killed, and then Fiona’s intention to kill her and every other one of her new sisters and her new godmother completely broke her. While the coven was able to restore itself and Amy emerged as a strong young witch, the events still broke her and she follows her sister’s example to avoid looking like she’s broken and instead forces herself to maintain an excitable and cheerful façade as a means to convince herself that the events didn’t break her and instead made her stronger.

Brooding Boy Gentle Girl: She’s the Gentle Girl to Todoroki’s Brooding Boy despite not being together, but they are good friends as Amy’s oddly sweet nature can encourage Todoroki to be a little more outgoing.

Likewise with her and Bakugo as she’s often gentler than he is when it comes to expressing affection and sympathy while Bakugo just angrily broods. However, they can reverse the roles at times where Amy is bitterly sulking and Bakugo shows his softer side by attempting to comfort her.

Brutal Honesty: Amy is outspoken by nature and won’t hesitate to tell someone how it is or how she’s feeling, however she’s fully aware of how it can hurt people’s feelings, she just doesn’t care if it does. However, she CAN and WILL hold her tongue depending on who it is she’s talking to and depending on the situation she does know when to be more sensitive and delicate.

Bully Hunter: While not the nicest girl in the world, Amy really doesn’t care for bullies as she defended Shinsou from bullies when they were growing up and even first met Bakugo by pantsing and pushing him to the ground when he was bullying Midoriya, and also tells off bitchier witches whenever they taunt Coco for her naivete. 

In fact, she hates bullies so much that she dumped Bakugo for several months when Madison told her that he told Midoriya to jump off the school roof in middle school and said that she couldn’t be with a bully. 

Amy also attacks some nastier girls at the mall when they look at Ashlen funny. 

Bunny-Ears Lawyer: She’s an oddball, by and far, but she’s a very skilled witch in and out of combat, shows a cunning side and is very knowledgeable in politics, sociology and human relationships. 

Shinsou even imagined her as his lawyer during a nightmare he had.

Burn The Witch!: Nearly suffers this fate as a child right after watching her mother get burnt until All-Might and the pro-heroes save her just before they can light her up. 

Calling The Old Man Out: Despite not being her father, she calls out Aizawa for being an unfair teacher to his past students and for not taking her in when he could have after her parents died since nothing stopped him and the other UA staff teachers from adopting Eri, but allowed Amy to be shipped off to America with people who ended up indirectly exposing her to even more bloodshed that further traumatized her. She also chides him by saying that he’s not good at even looking after his other students and calls him ‘the wrong person’ to look over anyone. 

Cannot Keep a Secret: While she CAN keep an important secret, she deliberately at times tells some secrets as she freely blabs whatever secret she’s supposed to be keeping or should keep a secret for the sake of not embarrassing her friends.

Amy: Sorry I woulda arrived earlier but Hitoshi had some really bad jock itch so I made sure he was feeling okay after.

Can’t Take Criticism: Amy CAN take some criticism, but at the same time she can’t take certain criticism, particularly about her character and actions.Any criticism or disapproval she gets, often irritates her because she takes it all very harshly. 

The Caretaker: Shinsou and Ashlen are normally the ones looking after her, but Amy can easily return the favor when they’re upset. As whenever Shinsou is depressed and feeling low, Amy opts to take care and look after him by giving him space, a “Happiness” kit of junk food and caffeine, and a playlist for sadness and anxiety. Likewise, Amy is more than happy to take care of Ashlen whenever she is distraught as she stays with her the entire day, gives her tender, love and care and also gives her ice-cream to add to the comfort while also showing her some of her favorite movies or shows like Friends, The Office and Brooklyn 99.  

Catchphrase: Has a habit of cheerfully saying “Oh Mylanta~!” and asking “So what’s the T Christine?” 

And her favorite way of describing something unappealing is calling it “a bag of dicks”.

Character Development: During her first year at UA she had no true intention of becoming the hero Japan’s society would have wanted her to be and had no real desire to be a team-player with her classmates and only wanted to return to Shinsou, however, she grew to really like her new friends and changed her attitude and became a lot friendlier to the point of opening up and sharing her wealth with everyone and going out of her way to provide them laughter and entertainment. She did relapse into insanity for a while and had to quit UA for a short time, but still managed to slowly overcome this because of her friend’s influence. And by the beginning of her second year, she’s on better terms with her classmates and becomes increasingly kinder when her new best friend Ashlen enters the picture and inspires Amy to be more compassionate, sympathetic and helpful towards her class.

Child Hater: Downplayed, while she’s annoyed by anything centered around children and when people talk about children, she’s actually more jealous of the attention children get and doesn’t genuinely hate children themselves as she was actually pretty fond of Kota and bonded with him over the loss of their parents.

Played straight though in her case with Eri, who she disliked, but later warmed up to her. 

However, ultimately her aversion to children stems more from the fear that she won’t know how to properly care for them but she claims that she DOES hate only children who are “nasty little shits”.

Chevalier vs. Rogue: She’s the Rogue to Ashlen’s Chevalier as Amy uses her magic to fight dirty and play tricks on her opponents while Ashlen relies primarily on her stealth and combat skills while maintaining a noble, honorable approach in battle.

Chivalrous Pervert: Amy is an unabashed pervert (but nowhere near Mineta’s level) as she likes to stare at her male classmates’ butts and tends to be a flirt, but she’s a good person at heart and never does anything without consent. 

Clingy Jealous Girl: Amy is a VERY jealous person by nature, but especially towards the people she’s in love with, as she grew to dislike Uraraka when she realized the latter also had a crush on Midoriya, dismissing her as a basic, boring girl with nothing going on. And then she displays this same jealousy towards Camie after hearing that she had to take a remedial course with Bakugo, Todoroki and Yoarashi as Amy referred to her as a “skintight slut”.

Cloudcuckoolander: She’s clearly off her rocker, has an odd way of thinking, randomly breaks out into song and dance and seems to be pretty much be in her own world. 

Combat Pragmatist: A dirty fighter by nature, Amy uses whatever she can get her hands on if it means success, often through the use of telekinesis to make people lose their footing.

She used a stone to bash Midoriya’s face while using her telekinesis for speed, knowing her own physical strength won’t do much damage, and used a piece of heavy debris as a blunt weapon during a battle to stun him and swat him away from her and then into the ground.

Once again, she uses her telekinesis beforehand to steal sweat from Bakugo to use his own explosions against him in a battle.

When in a bad mood and ready to lash out, she surprises Aizawa by blinding him with a potion to give her the chance to attack him, as well as attacking him from behind and using his capture weapon to cover his eyes and entrap him.

Likewise, she always uses Shinsou’s capture weapon against him to trap him or cover his mouth so she can get the upperhand. 

Comedic Sociopathy: Downplayed but it’s clear she finds it hilarious to see other people get hurt whether physically or if a joke’s made at their expense. Even though deep down she doesn’t truly like to see them actually hurt. 

Comic Trio: With her witch sisters she’s this with Mallory and Coco, with her UA classmates she’s this with Shinsou and Kaminari.

However it’s downplayed with her, Shinsou and Ashlen. Amy is always taking the lead by getting her friends to do something wild and fun, and although Shinsou is far from stupid, he does nothing to stop her and simply follows her lead, while Ashlen is always trying to reign Amy in when she’s going out of control.  

Companion Cube: She’s rather fond of her broomstick ‘Brooke’ to the point of talking to it like it was an actual person, and Shinsou even jokes that it might as well be her lover.

Amy: Ahhh I love you so much baby... I’m going to take you to my room and stroke your bristles...

Conditioned to Accept Horror: Due to seeing her parents die before her eyes AND every other horror she witnessed in New Orleans with the witches, voodoo witches and witch hunters, she’s able to go through every horrific thing that occurs at UA without being fazed much. She even tells Bakugo that when enough horrible things happen to you, you’re bound to get used to it.

Cool Big Sis: Takes up this role wherever Kota is concerned as she frequently takes him out for ice-cream, lets him ride with her on her broomstick and took him to an amusement park.

 And when she got over her initial dislike of Eri (but retains her jealousy sometimes), she somewhat became this to her, stating that Eri “needs a woman in her life” and becomes that “woman” in an odd, albeit irresponsible way as she lets her play with her dog Dakota, also gives her her favorite Disney movies to watch, taught her how to sing and let her bake cookies with her, but she also let her have her first soda, gave her candy and chocolate and let her buy any clothes and toys that she wanted while also encouraging her to be sassy.

Corrupt The Cutie: Already broken from seeing her parents die, when 11 year old Am is taken to America and attends Robichaux, guardians like Fiona, Madison and Zoe (to a lesser extent) slowly corrupt her into a morally ambiguous young witch who’s not above murdering and deception if it means achieving a goal.  

Creepy Child: Her experiences at New Orleans with her witch sisters turned her into one as she began making much more morbid jokes about death, ghosts and demons, and then smiling at inappropriate times and generally making adults feel uncomfortable. She was only 10 at the time.  

Creepy Shadowed Undereyes: Not visible but that’s because she hides them with make-up. They’re not nearly as bad as Shinsou’s, but when she’s angry, going crazy or depressed they’re much more prominent. 

Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: She’s very much a comedic girl, but also very much a dangerous girl with a LOT of powers that she’s very skilled with in combat and WILL use them to rip someone a new one.

Cry Cute: When Amy drops her guard and sheds tears, she’s surprisingly more sympathetic and endearing even though she claims to be an “ugly crier”.

Cuddle Bug: Amy is a very affectionate girl who craves the affection in return and loves to hug her friends, especially Shinsou, Ashlen, Midoriya, Mallory and Todoroki. 

Curbstomp Battle: Played Straight in her fights at some of the thugs at the USJ and her two fights with Kaminari and Iida at the Sports Festival. As Kaminari attempts to flirt with her, Amy is flattered but quickly pushes him out of the ring with her telekinesis within a matter of 10 seconds. Similarly, she taunts Iida with her teleportation and pretends to give him an opening to get her out of the ring, only to teleport right at the last second and then push HIM out of the ring again with her telekinesis.

Downplayed in her fight with Midoriya. She picks a fight with him after the Culture Festival when he provokes her, and while he doesn’t want to fight her he still gains the upperhand and pins her down. However, it’s Played Straight when he tries to get her to calm down and instead pushes her buttons with a poor choice of words, which reinvigorates Amy’s rage and awakens the full extent of her Sentio Compassios as she gets big and utterly dominates him. 

Also played straight during her fight with Aizawa, although she cheated by blinding him with a potion, she still beat the hell out of him with her telekinesis and Sentio Compassios and only stopped when Cordelia intervened.

Curtains Match The Windows: Sort of. She has blonde hair and amber eyes.

Cute and Psycho: Amy’s endearing and sweet but also straight-up insane and cheerfully talks about murder and death while expressing an excitement when the opportunity to kill shows up.

Cute Witch: Eccentric as she may be, Amy is fairly cute for a powerful witch.

Cuteness Proximity: Amy ALWAYS gushes whenever she’s with adorable animals, especially if it’s puppies, kittens, foxes and ferrets. It’s one of the few times we see her acting like a normal teenage girl. 

Daddy’s Girl: She was one to her father Hiroshi, and despite the way she occasionally abuses and disrespects him, it’s clear she has a strong attachment to Aizawa as he is the only fatherly figure she knows after her real father died.

Dark Is Not Evil: While she has a mean streak and a wicked side, Amy is truly not a bad person at heart as she decides to remain on the hero’s side so she can protect the people she loves and had no true intention of going to the villain’s side.

Deadpan Snarker: She might be flighty, but she’s very quick-witted and knows how to make clever insults and puns towards others, but especially at Shinsou, Madison, Bakugo, Iida and Aizawa. 

Then again, two of her closest friends are Shinsou and Madison, and then FIONA was the one looking after her so she picked up some snark. 

Death Glare: Since she’s often seen smiling, she can give one hell of an effective death glare. It’s so intimidating that the minute Shinsou sees it, he encourages whoever is in the vicinity (whether his classmates OR teacher) to leave as fast as possible or apologize if they angered her.

Death Seeker: Shachath occasionally comes to her as she says that Amy tends to ‘sing’ to her which implies that she’s contemplating suicide often.

Defrosting Ice Queen: Towards her classmates as she goes from insulting and pranking them, to more buddy-buddy with them, particularly with Iida and Bakugo. Also, while she freezes Midoriya out for a while, his kindness and patience with her allows her to defrost back to him.

Later, because of her friend Ashlen’s encouragement, she defrosts towards Eri as well.

Determinator: Sure Amy’s a slacker, but when she’s determined to do something, she gets down to it and won’t stop until she gets what she wants. To the point of even sacrificing dignity and being her most stubborn self if it means achieving a goal.

Dissonant Laughter: When Aizawa is scolding the class for knowing of the plan to rescue her and Bakugo, she bursts into sudden, uncontrollable and mad laughter, BEFORE Bakugo even made Kaminari use his quirk to get a laugh out of everyone...

Disproportionate Retribution: Midoriya drinks her lemonade and eats her fruit sandwich, not knowing it was her’s, and she flies into a rage and even goes so far as to get a plastic plate and start beating him with it and chasing him out of the room.

And then again, she nearly crushes Midoriya in her Giant Sentio Compassios form because he called selfish and cruel.

Iida tells Aizawa that Shinsou (during a depression) drew a line into the wall with a sharpie which got him in trouble, and Amy ralles a group of students to protest against him to the point where he broke down and cried according to Midoriya. 

Aizawa gives her a bad grade on an essay and tells Cordelia about how she’s misbehaved in class, and Amy quickly retaliates by threatening to burn his sleeping bag. She didn’t actually do it, but she nearly did. 

Distracted By The Sexy: She utilizes this tactic against some of her opponents and wears Madison’s crotchless panties and ‘accidentally’ flashes them to Shishikura during the Provisional Hero License arc to get him to back off. It works..

Double Standard: Very fond of finding these and pointing them especially when it comes to gender and topics involving humans and witches. 

Drama Queen: Whenever Amy gets excited she tends to break out into song and dance, and when she’s upset she tends to go into a ‘woe is me’ mode and exaggerate her misery. 

The Dreaded: Shinsou knows better than to provoke and/or push Amy’s buttons and is quick to warn people when he can tell she’s in a bad mood and even goes so far as to alert others from doing or saying certain things that WILL anger her or simply tell them to quickly apologize should they provoke her by accident. And it becomes more apparent to the rest of her class the more they learn of her unpredictable temper, mood swings and array of powers and begin to go to great lengths to avoid provoking her.  

Even after their fight and even after Amy starts to become a better, saner person, Midoriya is still terrified of her. 

Dreadful Musician: Loves to sing but tends to go off-key at times, and is an absolutely horrible violin player to the point were even Present Mic and Bakugo can’t stand it. 

Drowning My Sorrows: Non-alcoholic example as she drowns in soda (Dr. Pepper or Big Red) whenever she’s really sad or lamenting after a failed test.

Drunk On The Dark Side: Spending time with the witches of New Orleans has encouraged her to embrace her darker impulses and be willing to do anything to get what you want and need. And by the time she goes to UA, Amy’s very self-indulgent and not above doing immoral things. However, she does start to stray away from this for the sake of her new friends.

Dude Magnet: Despite her quirky nature, she’s got Bakugo, Todoroki and Monoma all holding some kind of torch for her.  

Dumb Blonde: Subverted. Amy seems and acts like a flake and can lack common sense, but she’s actually very sly, crafty and manipulative several times and has shown to be able to really think ahead before she springs into an action plan.

Easily Forgiven: Shinsou will ALWAYS forgive her for anything she does no matter how amoral or messed up it may be, and that includes murder, manipulation and deception or even going on a rampage throughout his school. And he tends to quickly comes to her defense and excuse her actions by saying that she’s been through enough and that she shouldn’t be judged for what she does.

Midoriya also forgives her pretty quickly even after she attempted to crush him with her Sentio Compassios form and destroyed his apology gift (but fixed it later). Aizawa also forgave her fast despite the fact that she blinded him and attacked him. 

Shinsou: (to Aizawa, after Amy’s rage) Okay... look... I now you’re not happy with her now, but here’s the truth sensei, Amy is not bad at all, she just grew up in an environment that showed her a lot of bad things. She never wanted that life, she was forced into it, it’s not her fault...

Emotionless Girl: Amy becomes withdrawn, surly and apathetic after she leaves UA, and it’s much more prominent when she interns with Endeavor alongside Midoriya, Bakugo and Todoroki, all of whom are unnerved by her new demeanor. 

The Empath: Her father had a quirk called “Feelings” that allowed him to feel what others felt, which Amy is revealed to have inherited from him when his quirk manifested in her unique power “Sentio Compassios”, an extremely powerful form of divination that allows Amy to feel and see what others are feeling, as well as their auras. As such Amy can empathize with the people around her and it makes her feel the need to help them out with anything they may need any help with.

Enfant Terrible: Upon going to New Orleans and entering Robichaux, being exposed to all the bloodshed and betrayal with her fellow witches turns her into this as she easily gets corrupted by the new lifestyle and doesn’t hesitate to help her sisters kill their enemies brutally as she happily joined them in stabbing the Axe Man to death. She just turned 11 at the time.

Even Bad Women Love Their Mamas: She’s a trouble-maker at best and a sadistic bitch at worst, but no matter what, she never loses her love for deceased parents and loves her godmother Cordelia dearly. In fact, Cordelia is currently the only adult she hasn’t insulted or disrespected. 

Even Evil Can Be Loved: Amy’s not truly evil by nature, but even when she’s at her most psychotic, her friends still love her regardless of the madness. Shinsou in particular still holds a lot of platonic love for her even when she’s lost her mind, and her new best friend Ashlen has embraced even Amy’s less than savory qualities because she still loves her deeply and regards her as her best friend. And then her coven still loves her deeply, especially Cordelia, Madison and Zoe. 

Even Evil Has Standards: Amy’s an anarchist who loves the wicked side of things and has no issues killing people, manipulating them for her own gain and stealing, but even she’s appalled by things or other villains have done.

She was quite unnerved in the presence of All For One and claimed that she’s never been that afraid since Fiona.

She also turned down the offer from the League of Villains because she didn’t want to abandon her friends at UA as she realized that the students there are good people that she doesn’t want to harm.

She sympathized with the League of Villains stating that she understood them and stated that Society is messed up because she would never ostracize someone for being different.

Despite her (occasionally) rocky friendship with Midoriya, she dumped Bakugo for 2 whole months when Madison tells him that he told Midoriya to kill himself in middle school and Amy was absolutely disgusted by such cruelty.

Amy will not hurt anyone innocent, even when she becomes homicidal she only attacks people who are attacking her, and even if it’s her classmates (such as Iida, Tokoyami, Jirou who attempted to stop her) she merely knocks them out via telling them to ‘sleep’ and does nothing to hurt them or the rest of 1-A. 

She respected Fiona but disapproved of how she treated Cordelia, and likewise, despises Endeavor for what he did to Todoroki and the rest of his family.

Amy’s all for dirty tricks and humiliating others for fun, but will stop when she sees someone getting legitimately hurt.

Even The Girls Want Her: Her witch friend Darcy has an obsessive, mad crush on her.

Everyone Has Standards: Amy’s something of an airhead and not all there but even there are things that bewilder her or ‘ick’ her out.

She’s a pervert but even she was appalled by Mineta’s lack of shame in  his perversion.

Even when she hated Eri at the time, she still tossed Mineta into the stratosphere via telekinesis for making an inappropriate comment to her.

For all that she and Iida despise each other’s contrasting quirks, Amy sees from his point of view when frat brothers trash her mansion and act very uncouth even for her liking.

She finds it amusing to point out things she knows about people while they freak out and wonder how she knew that, but crosses the line at stalking and obsession because that ‘icks’ her out.

Despite her childish nature, even Amy is baffled by her older witch sister Coco’s inability to take care of herself and perform simple tasks such as laundry and cleaning.

Evil Laugh: Gives off one hell of an effective one akin to the Wicked Witch of The West, it’s so wicked sounding it genuinely disturbs her classmates and even Aizawa.

[nova-fanart-dump]

SCIENCE LECTURE

In my fic here, Sherlock has a little brainstorming session while drugged out of his mind, and this sheet of notes below is the result of it. I decided to write out a little explanation as to what all the individual parts of it mean. The explanation will be in the format of ITEM - TRANSLATION - BREAKDOWN. The item will be the selection of the notes that the section will be explaining, copied roughly verbatim for the reader's convenience. The translation, if needed, will be translating Sherlock's (my) shorthand into standard notation. The breakdown, then, will be the explanation.

Disclaimer: I was a medical student, before I had to withdraw due to hand injury, and my area of study in undergraduate was neuroscience and neuropsychology (and music performance, but that's not relevant here). I do try and explain everything in layman's terms, but 1) it will get a little technical in parts, fair warning, and 2) I'm still learning on how best to explain concepts to other. I try my best, people!

ITEM 1: THE LIST

1) Narcotics- hallucin? (Translation: Hallucinogen)

2) Sleep dep. Halluc (Translation: Sleep deprivation Hallucination)

3) Mycroft- test?

4) Lights show

5. GMO (Translation: Genetically Modified Organism)

6) Moriarty???

7) Acute psychosis xxx

Breakdown:

In the episode, Sherlock says that he had come up with seven possible reasons for how he, Henry, and John could have all seen the dog-that-could-not-exist, and that he'd settled upon narcotics as the most likely. I came up with a list of seven of my own reasons:

1) Narcotics- hallucinogen: self-explanatory, as explained by the actual episode.

2) Sleep deprivation hallucination: this episode takes place what appears to be several days into pretty severe nicotine withdrawal, for Sherlock. His sleep schedule seems to be disastrous as is, and the nicotine withdrawal would've made him even more wired, so there's a solid chance he hadn't slept for several days, which is long enough to for sleep deprivation-induced hallucinations. While the hypothesis itself is perfectly sound, Sherlock puts it at number 2 instead of 1 because A) Henry ALSO saw the dog, B) sleep deprivation induced hallucinations generally don't start out with a full-fledged monster dog screaming in your face. If this hypothesis had been correct, he should've been experiencing more subtle hallucinations all night long.

3) Mycroft- test?: As discussed in series four, Mycroft occasionally has been employing tests into Sherlock's mental stability for decades, focusing on what Sherlock believes to be a dog. Sherlock, being Sherlock, has likely noticed this. Mycroft knows Sherlock is hanging around Baskerville. Sherlock also knows Mycroft knows this. Under the influence of a paranoia-inducing narcotic, Sherlock very easily could suspect his nosy brother at being somehow responsible.

4) Lights show: Again, inspired by series 4, and how the illusion of a ghost is created in TAB with nothing more than a projector. The logistics of how this would actually work are hazy, which is why this is further down the list, and quickly discounted by Sherlock.

5) GMO: While GMOs are usually discussed in the context of resilient strains of plants, all it really means is genetically modified organism. I'm speaking as one educated in 2014+, not 2012 (the ep air date), but breeding an especially large dog, and genetically modifying it to have red eyes, would probably not be too difficult a feat, scientifically. It could even be glowing, if you spliced in that GFP gene that the scientist mentions! However, this possibility is unlikely, because it raises the very big question as to why the scientists would allow their experiment to roam wild and attack people, why the scientists would bother making it in the first place, why haven't others taken pictures, etc. This is why it's so low on the list.

6) Moriarty???: Similar premise as the Mycroft's inclusion.

7) Acute psychosis xxx: AKA, "I lost my mind". Very unlikely, because it doesn't explain why Henry shared his hallucination, has no explanation as to why or how, and he has no other symptoms suggestive of a psychotic break. Which is why Sherlock scratched it out, and marked it with three Xs.

ITEM 2: THE FEEDBACK LOOP

This refers to the diagram, sitting just to the right of the list.

Breakdown:

X -> SNS Act -> Occ. -> (SNS Act) | (Amyg up) (Temporal) (up up Amyg)

Translation:

Unknown Substance X -> Sympathetic Nervous System Activation -> Occipital Cortex

(Amygdala stimulation) (Temporal) (Further Amygdala stimulation)

Let's define some terms!

This little diagram is a positive feedback loop, drawn very messily and with multiple steps added in after the fact. In biology, a feedback loop is a circuit in which the output of a system feeds back around to affect the system's input, which indirectly affects the system's output again, and so on. A simple example of a positive feedback loop is as follows: Addition of Substance X to System yields output of Substance Y. Substance Y triggers the production of more of Substance X, which again yields the output of more of Substance Y, which again triggers more production of Substance X- and so on. (feedback loops in the body are far more complicated, and most will eventually trigger their own end, etc, but such discussion is beyond the purpose of this post).

Unknown Substance X = input of whatever Sherlock was drugged with

Sympathetic Nervous System = simplistically speaking, our autonomic nervous system has two parts that work together, the sympathetic nervous system, and the parasympathetic nervous system. PNS can be summed up as rest and digestion, while SNS can be summed up as fight or flight.

Occipital Cortex = simplistically speaking, the visual center in the brain. There are other areas involved, but this area is the key and center to visual perception.

Temporal = simplistically speaking, the auditory cortex in the brain.

Amygdala = simplistically speaking, the fear center of the brain.

(I am defining all these terms as their relation to this situation at hand, nothing more. The brain is not so simple as to allocate X Function to Y cortex.)

So, Sherlock theorizes that input of Drug X stimulates the SNS and/or the amygdala, which caused inappropriate occipital lobe stimulation leading to hallucinations, which increased Sherlock's fear response, which caused further SNS activation, and so on. He suggested temporal lobe as a possible step; however, at no point during the episode did the drug cause auditory hallucinations, which is why it's not including in the loop proper.

There are actually a few problems with his loop, because he drew it out on the fly, while high off his mind, and he's not a neuroscientist, but he's got the right idea. The inappropriate, uncontrollable stimulation of the amygdala is almost certainly what Drug X causes, and would result in fear, paranoia, and increased suggestibility, all stated symptoms of Drug X. Inappropriate amygdala stimulation leads to inappropriate SNS activation, which encourages hallucinations, but would not cause them directly. It's likely that the drug also caused overproduction of dopamine, which can cause hallucinations. (However, there is no guarantee the occipital cortex was involved).

Whatever the chemical cause of the hallucination, he "sees" the dog, freaks out more, amygdala continues to be stimulated, freaks out because he’s Sherlock and isn’t used to freaking out, and the cycle continues, which is what leads to Sherlock's panic attack/meltdown in the pub- short-term, we're able to handle those stress reactions, especially if they're rational reactions to a stimulus, but keep them going for hours at a time and the body will start to freak out.

ITEM THREE: SYMPTOMS LIST

3a. Tachycardia, (up)hidrosis, shaking, panic attack?, nausea, emesis

(up)hidrosis = hyperhidrosis

Breakdown: Very rapid heartrate, increased sweating, shaking, nausea, emesis = vomiting, panic attack? (Question mark because Sherlock is not convinced of the diagnosis. Even high off his mind, he's still got his pride- he's Sherlock Holmes! He does not Get panic attacks! >;0)

3b. NOT NICOTINE, WITHDRAWAL UPUPUP

Breakdown: as John says in the pub, Sherlock was pretttty wired before all of this. Sherlock notes down that these symptoms are not the result of the nicotine withdrawal, because he can still feel the now increased effects of the nicotine withdrawal going on alongside these new symptoms. Chemically speaking, Drug X probably wouldn’t have any /direct/ effect on nicotine withdrawal, but it very well might exacerbate it indirectly.

3c. OH NO EFFECT - NOT STIMULANT

Translation: Alcohol no effect - not stimulant

Alcohol, to our bodies, is a depressant. If you drink it with a straight stimulant, like caffeine, their effects will counteract each other; for example, if I want to drink but keep clear-headed, I'll have a soda with my glass of wine. (DISCLAIMER: this will not make it safe to drive, this will not prevent alcohol poisoning, this can be dangerous, and do not do it in anything but careful moderation). Sherlock, as seen in the show, gets a shot of alcohol, probably in a desperate bid to calm down. It also does not work at all, because he was not dosed with a stimulant, but a hallucinogenic. The hallucinations led to stimulant-esque effects, but with no stimulant to counteract, Sherlock would simply end up sloshed and panicking. Sherlock realizes that the alcohol is not having the desired affect, and, when he realizes he was drugged, concludes that it therefore can not have been with a simple stimulant.

ITEM FOUR: DIAGRAM B

Oral --> long-lasting VS inhale --> feedback loop

no IV/IM

BLOOD TEST NEC ASAP (check)

Breakdown:

While the identity/structure of the drug he was dosed with are important, the route/method of administration are also a huge factor of variability that affects the intensity and timeline of the symptoms. Sherlock mentions four different routes of administration, here: oral (PO), inhalation, IV, and IM (intramuscular). A drug taken orally will have slower and longer lasting effects than one that is inhaled: one that is inhaled will act almost immediately, as seen in the episode, and its effect will also wear off very quickly.

Sherlock theorizes he must have taken the drug either orally or inhaled it, because the only other options are being stuck with a needle at some point, which he is sure never occurred. (Really, there are a few other options, most notably transdermal, that is unlikely for other reasons). Because the drug affects him for so long, he assumes he must have taken it orally, but also allows inhalation a spot on the list, by noting it could have instigated a feedback loop, and continued affecting him even after it'd left his system. He also notes the need for an urgent blood test, in the case that there are still some traces left to analyze. Especially if the drug was inhaled, the blood needs to be drawn ASAP. (Without any information on the chemical structure of Drug X, though, I can’t make any sort of estimation on what results Sherlock’s own blood test would show, with the sample drawn ~8 hours after being dosed).

ITEM FIVE: TIMELINE

To the left of diagram B, eleven hash marks next to a supremely messy "hours". AKA, eleven hours of 'experimentation', after Sherlock realizes he was drugged.

(upside down-items):

ITEM SIX: FORMULA

C12H22O11

The chemical formula for a sugar, which, as Sherlock states in the episode, was his initial theory. This would suggest PO as method of administration, not inhalation, but Sherlock's also not thinking too straight, right now. Give him a break. (He's also probably got a ton more information on PO medications in his head than airborne compounds).

ITEM SEVEN: SHERLOCK'S THEORY

THC? -amyg overstim in subject

-no SNS activ

(scratched out, termed STUPID by Sherlock)

Translation:

THC? - amygdala overstimulation in subject

-no SNS activation

Breakdown (this is the most technical passage of the post, fair warning:)

The 'subject' in this case refers to Sherlock. THC, as you probably know, is is the primary hallucinogenic/psychoactive component of cannabis (marijuana). Also as you probably know, cannabis tends to reduce anxiety effects in most individuals, but in some, it results in a paradoxical panic reaction. We're not entirely sure why, but this panic reaction appears to be due to GABA paradoxical disinhibition. Essentially, in a standard patient, cannabis leads to mass increases in GABA, which is the calm-down chemical in the brain. However, in these select patients, cannabis' initial activation of GABA may lead to the brain telling the production of GABA itself to calm down, which lead to an overall decrease in GABA levels in the amygdala, which leads to a panic reaction. (Disclaimer: This is still a working theory in the scientific community, and all depends on an individual's makeup of receptors and neural circuits. This is by no means settled discussion, either the end result or its mechanism.)

Overall, irrelevant to THC and cannabis, patients with severe childhood trauma do tend to have amygdalas that are primed for overstimulation (possibly by the very process described in the paragraph above). Whether Sherlock deleted Eurus and Victor or not, those neurological affects aren't something he could just will away. This is not saying that if you have childhood trauma, you will have a negative reaction to cannabis- but it IS saying that Sherlock might be a candidate expected to have a negative reaction.

Now, given Sherlock's extensive drug history, I'm sure he tried cannabis, at some point. It is also, however, never once brought up in the series proper, which suggests he has absolutely no interest in trying it again- perhaps because he had a negative reaction the first time. The panic reaction and amygdala overstimulation would probably feel similar to how Drug X affected him, which is why, initially, Sherlock writes it down as a suggestion, and also notes that it would not directly cause SNS activation. (At this point, he is not sure if SNS activation is a direct symptom or not).

He then swiftly marks it out as a stupid theory, because he realizes that he has a very atypical reaction to THC, so the likelihood of Henry sharing his hallucination and panic is very low. More to the point, because his reaction is so atypical and unpredictable, it makes no sense that unknown criminals would drug them with it.

TO SUM UP:

Sherlock is a graduate chemist, not a medical doctor, neuroscientist, or neuropsychologist. He does seem to have a great degree of interest and expertise in pharmacology, and probably also has a lot of knowledge in different routes of administration, due to his own personal history and his interest in forensics. However, he has no need to know, for example, the exact neuro-chemical causes of hallucinations. Therefore, his sheet of data is intentionally a bit spotty and with questionable accuracy, at points. (He also gets a bit of a break, considering he was "off his tits", or whatever the fuck that means, at the time. Poor guy needs a rest and a blanket and a hug.)

And that sums up Ranowa's entirely unnecessary lecture on pharmacodynamics!

[holmesoverture]

So after my earlier post about my Holmes and Watson mental illness/disability headcanons I got inspired to post little bits of (as-yet-unpublished) stories I’ve written that deal with those subjects.  I may have posted some of this already, but eh.  Most are from Watson’s POV, except the first one.  Enjoy! :)

**Note: If you think I haven’t dealt with a topic as sensitively as I should, please don’t be afraid to speak up, either in a reply or a dm or however you feel most comfortable.

From The Toy Shop:

Her expression was jumbled and confused, so I can’t say whether or not she was gladdened by this news, but she didn’t try to leave in any case.  I would have been more than satisfied to pass the time by working on another case or on a chemical experiment, but I remembered what you said about how most people find it uncomfortable to silently sit in a room with a stranger.  I offered to tell her a story of our past exploits to pass the time, and she agreed.  You’ll be happy to know that I told her of the adventure of the toy shop, which, as you’ll recall, allowed you to demonstrate a generous proportion of your many talents.

“This case started the Saturday after the 7/7 bombings,” I began.  “We didn’t have any turpentine, which I urgently needed for a chemical experiment, so I went out to buy some.  I normally don’t run such errands because I am autistic and don’t fare well in enclosed, congested areas such as department stores. I only went that day because Watson was asleep, I really needed the turpentine, and I thought the store would be relatively empty since it was still early in the morning.  I miscalculated.  Perhaps there was a sale, or perhaps the bombings had thrown everyone off their schedule.  Regardless, the shop was very crowded and loud, or so it seemed to me.  I foolishly tried to finish my errand anyway in some misguided burst of machismo.  My common sense can usually override those urges, but such was not the case that day.

“Between the department store crowds and the stress of the past few days, it didn’t take long for me to shut down.  Do you know what that means?  No? It’s just what it sounds like, really. Do you know what a meltdown is? Well a shutdown is sort of the opposite. I usually end up curled up on the floor for several hours.  Fortunately I managed to sequester myself in the loo first rather than collapsing in the middle of the shop.  Even more fortunately I had told our landlady where I was going, and once I’d been gone longer than I ought she rang me, or tried to.  I was beyond being able to answer a phone by then.  That must have been when she told Watson of my whereabouts and he came after me, bringing my earplugs (I’m always forgetting them) and a jacket with a hood.  We’d only known each other a few months but he was already adept at handling my worst moods, poor devil.

“We sat on the floor of the loo for a long while, him holding me until I recovered enough to get in a taxi and go home.  His leg must have suffered for it but he never complained.”

“What was wrong with his leg?” asked Mrs Edwards.

“Oh, didn’t I tell you?” I replied once I got over the initial annoyance of being interrupted.  “He was shot in Afghanistan and invalided out of the army two years ago.  It’s a good thing he was, too, or we’d never have met. Anyway, while Watson was taking me home he thought he heard an explosion from the direction of Upper Street. After seeing me safely home and ensuring I was well on the road to recovery, he took it upon himself to read up on the incident and to speak with Inspector Lestrade, a member of Scotland Yard with whom we occasionally have reason to collaborate.  I myself had not heard the explosion—everything sounds like an explosion at such times—and only learned of the incident late that afternoon, once I had regained control.

From The Ceiling:

I started at an outdoor market that sold mainly food but also flowers and cheap baubles aimed at tourists.  The smell of freshly-cut blossoms and frying meat followed me as I entered a nearby park.  To my right was a football field where young teenagers had gathered for a game, so I turned left toward a large duck pond bordered by a gravel walking path.  It was not a long path but I didn’t last long on it before I sat on a bench to rest my leg.  It may have been feeling fine just then but that was no reason to grow careless.  I supposed it should have made me feel old to do nothing but provide a target for sunbeams while rowdy teenagers hollered behind me and fitness buffs jogged round the pond in front of me but it didn’t.  I had my chance to be those things.  As frustrating and as painful as my leg could be at times, I was far happier sitting on my bench.

From The Beast of Barton Broad:

“We’ll hire some bicycles and follow the path the Khoranas and Ms Maxwell took during their fatal encounter with the mysterious beast.  What’s the matter, Watson?  You’re looking a bit green.”

I reluctantly confessed that my leg was not up to cycling that day but that if there was any task I could perform whilst sitting or slowly walking, I would happily take care of it.

“There have been several odd sightings at the Barton Broad Boardwalk,” said Holmes.  “It’s meant to accommodate wheelchairs, so it’s very smooth and easy to walk.  Could you handle that?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Excellent!  Then you and Mary will explore the boardwalk for any sign of our monster while I search the bicycle trail.  We’ll meet afterwards at the nearest information centre.”

“You mean you’re going to the spot where Vijay Khorana was violently attacked by yourself?”

“Well I can’t take Mary with me and leave you alone. Your observational skills are substandard on a good day, and, with the pain in your leg distracting you, you’ll be even worse.  At least if Mary is with you, there is a small chance one of you will find something of use.”

“You forget,” said I, “that Mary has no idea what we came out here for.”

“She’ll know it if she sees it,” Holmes answered, cheerfully.

Also from The Beast of Barton Broad:

Night closed in around us, bringing with it the same feeling of foreboding that had plagued Namrata Khorana.  Holmes took to venturing short distances into the woods with the coolbox, where he would wave it about and yell, “Dinner’s on!” and several equally ridiculous variations thereof.  It was during one of these excursions that Porter thrust one of the transquiliser guns at me.  The metal quickly warmed beneath my hands.  It was just a tranquiliser gun.  It would not thunder in my ear when I pulled the trigger.  Its discharge would not result in agonised screams, blood gushing irrevocably into the dirt.  There would be no return fire, no mortar shells toppling the buildings around us, no dust and smoke to fill our eyes and noses and throats.  There would be only a single, quiet, clean shot to down the beast and to keep my companions safe.

[autistic-bee-blog]

Things I didn't know are related to me being Autistic until I got older:

-Sensory processing issues that affect personal hygiene, clothing, and appearance:

.My sister hates having her hair brushed, because it hurts her scalp

 .I used to go without brushing my teeth because I couldn't stand the sensation

.I couldn't wear jeans as a kid without screaming and being sent into a meltdown

.I have to keep my hair short because I can't stand the feeling on the back of my neck

.My sister has to wash her hair and body over and over to calm down/regulate her sensory issues

-Unusual posture or gait:

.Can look like limping, and did raise comments from my parents ('why are you walking on the outsides of your shoes?' 'I didn't realize I was?')

.Sometimes I have balance issues when I am barefoot, or I feel like I'm walking unevenly because the soles of my feet feel too light

.In terms of posture, I am very rigid and stiff, and I sit and stand very straight (part of this is due to my chronic back pain), and I often look into the distance or up at the ceiling. I might be described as aloof, distracted, pensive, or worried, but it isn't necessarily true. It's just how I sit!

.(My sister is the complete opposite: she hunches over whatever she's doing or looks at her hands.)

-Problems with figurative language (not JUST sarcasm, ughhhh):

.I always had trouble with idioms. Think "The grass is always greener on the other side" (I'm like, "Well, I don't know about greener but technically atmospheric perspective says that the farther in the distance an object is, the bluer it becomes"). Or "You want to have your cake and eat it too" ("Yes, because what would I do with an entire cake if I'm not going to eat it?" This is a ridiculous expression, and I'm never going to change my mind about it.)

.I do have problems with sarcasm sometimes, but that's gotten better as I've aged, and a lot of it has to do with how well I know the person speaking, or if I can read their facial expressions/body language.

-Spatial awareness disabilities, dyslexia, and dyscalculia all have a high comorbid rate with ASD:

.I got nailed with the spatial awareness/visual processing disability and dyscalculia.

.To understand the spatial awareness disability and its extent into my daily life, imagine you are a 4 year old in a bowling alley and you are bowling for the first time. You get a 13-pound ball, and there are no bumpers, and no slide to maneuver the ball with and help aim. Now you have to try and get a strike. For me, the whole world is a bowling alley and tHERE ARE NO BUMPERS

.(I also don't drive largely because of this and limited time in my life at the moment, though I do plan on learning in case it does become necessary.)

.Dyscalculia is sort of like dyslexia, but with numbers and mathematical expressions (it is a thing. It exists, and I didn't know until I was taking pre-calc as a junior in high school and my mom told me about it.)

.For me, it is aggravated by glowing screens and I have a much harder time reading if it is online (which sucks, because now they're putting all the testing and homework online and so me and every other person dealing with this is just internally screaming.) I switch numbers around, delete numbers, and have problems reading graphs (trigonometry was a friggin treat, let me tell you)

.My sister has no spatial awareness issues (as she has demonstrated with her coordination, proclivity for geometric puzzles, Minecraft and other video games that require a certain extent of awareness of what is around you and what will happen if you move this here, etc) She does seem to have some issues with reading and switching letters around and skipping lines, but I don't know if she was ever diagnosed with dyslexia or dyscalculia.

-Poor handwriting, coordination, interpretation of directions:

.My handwriting is....improved from the fifth grade lol.

.It's crooked and sometimes I write outside the margins without meaning to, and some of my letters look like other letters.

.When I was a kid, I had such problems even HOLDING a pencil that they let me type all of my assignments.

.In my American Literature class, the girl next to me was watching me write and she said that I don't slant my pencil, I hold it straight up-down, which seemed to interest her and the teacher. I shrugged it off, but that's part of my handwriting/coordination stuff.

.I am clumsy: I've had trouble opening my pill bottles, drinking beverages without spilling them on myself, and reaching to grab stuff at a distance. It's not very noticeable, and it doesn't really interfere with anything in my daily life.

.I do have trouble with bigger things, like dancing or running, and I had a waiver for my physical education classes as a child for those reasons.

.Interpretation of directions kind of relates to the spatial awareness issues, and it is awful.

.I had a friend try to drive me home once and she ended up being an hour late for dinner with her family. I was so horrified and I avoid accepting rides from anyone that doesn't already know about my issues.

.When I was a kid, I had trouble tying my shoelaces and putting on shoes because I couldn't tell the difference between left and right. That went on until I was 7 or 8, I think.

Anxiety, feeling tired all of the time, and shutdowns:

.I also have an anxiety disorder along with being Autistic, and they "feed" off of each other. So I might already be having trouble speaking or I might be experiencing sensory issues, but then my anxiety will piggyback on those issues and I'll obsess over them until I'm even more stressed out.

.I've had anxiety attacks, panic attacks, and meltdowns, and it can be difficult to tell the difference between them many times. Sometimes a meltdown will evolve into an anxiety attack, or vice versa.

.Due to sensory processing issues, anxiety, other mental health stuff, and the effort it takes to even go about my daily life, and occasionally pass as neurotypical, I do feel tired all the time. I don't really sleep more than average though, and I also deal with insomnia, so my average time sleeping can be from 4-8 hours.

.During a shutdown, I can dissociate, go partially nonverbal, or nonverbal. I will stare into the distance, or at my hands, and feel completely numb. It is a horrible feeling. I don't know how else to describe it.

.I also have problems with trauma-related responses, so those can also add to shutdowns, or mimic shutdowns.

.(People have also pointed out that PTSD can have symptoms that can look like ASD, and vice versa. Think: exaggerated startle response, shutdowns and dissociation, stiff or upright posture, etc. Also there are Autistic people who unfortunately also have PTSD, especially from abuse or bullying which can be related to the bigotry against their Autism and cruel treatment of them by peers, therapists, teachers, parents, and caregivers.)

Auditory processing issues:

.This is so extensive, I can't even put it all down.

.When listening to other people, music, or television, sometimes words begin to sound like SOUNDS and not words. Other times, I can't keep up with processing individual sentences or words and my brain will just blank. Other times, I might think a person said one thing, when they really said a word that sounded similar.

.I ask people to repeat themselves, several times, especially if I don't know them well (I am less likely to be looking at their face/mouth if that is the case too).

.I also watch videos and movies with subtitles.

.My hearing itself is fine, it is only related to my brain processing the words and sounds. The same way my eyes themselves are fine, but I have trouble interpreting directions, sizes, and distances due to the spatial awareness disability.

Synesthesia, perfect pitch, and positive sensory experiences:

.My mom's side of the family is very musical, and so is my younger sister (also on the spectrum). She has perfect pitch, and so does my mother (likely undiagnosed due to limited knowledge of Autism when she was growing up, and due to sexism in the medical and mental health fields)

.We all experience sensory issues, which can be negative, but we also all experience good sensory inputs that other people do not always detect.

.For example, we all experience synesthesia, in different ways. In music, I associate certain notes and pitches with colours, or words. I might hear a song and associate it with the colour turquoise, or I might here a chord and associate it with being "bitter" or poison green.

.My sister and I like to describe the pictures we see listening to music, and it's always funny when one of us says something and then the other goes "Exactly! That's what I was seeing/hearing too!"

.My mom associates certain notes and songs with colours, but she also does so with days of the week, and with people.

.I'm not as musically adept as my mother and sister, but I am into visual arts such as painting, sketching, and sculpting.

.I like to do things in black and white, and then try to "balance" multiple pictures to form a larger piece. I can step back and see blankness, and see what needs to go where to make it feel "complete."

.I also use a lot of colours in some pieces, and I'm very good at discerning multiple shades in one section, even when they are very similar pigments

.My proportions are interesting in that I draw things more elongated than they are, and I might size different things bigger or smaller than they are in real life when I am copying something. I've had art teachers comment on it, and they, interestingly, were always the ones most interested in hearing about my spatial awareness and Autism.

Those are just some of the things I thought I should share. I'm curious to see if any other Autistic people have similar experiences to share (feel free to do so!) As always, this is from my perspective, so every single thing might not ring true for every single person on the spectrum. I hope this is of some use, or at least relatable to other Autistic people, or maybe even insightful for anyone wondering if they might be Autistic.

-

[ouraidengray4]

I Can't Stop Pulling Out My Eyelashes (It's a Thing)

A few years ago, I saw a girl named Rosie, who I’ve known since I was five years old. We’d fallen out of touch but met again at a party, where we reminisced about our time co-creating the most popular club in first grade: The Teddy Bear Club. (I’m still not sure exactly what we did in this club—appreciate teddy bears)? Together, laughing, we wondered if our elementary school gym teacher, who must have been 100 when she was teaching us how to square dance and lift a giant parachute, was still running the gym classes.

"Remember," Rosie asked, giggling. "When you pulled out all your eyelashes in second grade and then cried at morning meeting about it?"

I froze. I actually didn’t remember. Chances are, I blocked out that particular meltdown; in the early years of my trichotillomania, which started when I was six, I’d had many of them. I cried to my mom after I realized my eyelids were yet again bald after plucking every last one out by the root during a family viewing of the movie Blank Check. And another when Babs Bunny from Looney Tunes pulled out all her eyelashes from stress, and my cousin, in front of everyone, yelled, "Look, it’s Lucy!" If I’m bored or stressed—anytime my hands find themselves without something to do, really—I pull. And when I was a kid, after I’d pull them, I’d break down soon after.

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I wanted to scream at Rosie. Not because I was mad, but because without knowing it, she’d revealed my biggest secret to a party full of people. I knew what she said would instantly make anyone who heard look at my eyelids. I could feel their eyes start to raise a fraction of an inch from my pupil to what should be my lash line, where they would notice the black streak across my lids isn’t three dimensional, just one: A layer of eyeliner that I’ve cast to play the part of eyelashes, which I draw on every morning. I haven’t left the house without it since I was 13.

Instead, I said, "Yeah, that was weird." Like me pulling out all of my eyelashes wasn’t something I’d been dealing with for the last 20 years of my life, but a weird fluke that happened during a particularly stressful portion of second grade (long division, probably). "Cool tattoo," I said, changing the subject.

Later, I crept away to the bathroom and did what I do five or six times a day: turned on the light that most brightly illuminated the mirror and put my face up to the glass. I stared at my bald eyelids, checking for any new growth. I looked at my eyes in profile and tried to imagine if the 10 or 11 eyelashes I did have, the ones that had been spared an untimely death (for now), were enough to convince people I had a full set. Maybe people with very blurry vision would be fooled, but it was pretty obvious, overall.

...Once my brain decides my eyelashes need to be removed, [my hands] work without my input, like a very determined gardener weeding a vegetable patch.

Some nights, I stay up until morning because I can’t fall asleep until I pull the perfect eyelash. There are differences in the way an eyelash feels: Some are deeply rooted and pull out with a thick, wet tip. These are good ones. Some, the ones I’ve pulled out over and over, have flimsy, black tips. These are disappointing to pull.

On nights like this, I get up to wash my face over and over again, trying to straighten out the lashes I’ve curled into corkscrews with my fingernails, the way ribbon on a present curls with scissors. I try to tell my hands to stop, but when it comes to my eyelashes, my hands only half belong to me. For most tasks, I’m in full control of them, but once my brain decides my eyelashes need to be removed, they work without my input, like a very determined gardener weeding a vegetable patch. My arm gets sore, but I can’t stop.

My eyes are always full of cat hair, dust, and sand. A giant scar runs down one of my corneas from a scratch I got from one of these foreign bodies my eyes could not defend themselves against without a barricade of eyelashes. I see it all the time.

I get out of bed and read online forums for people like me: trichotillomaniacs. I don’t talk about it with anyone. It’s not really something you chat with your friends about over brunch. "Is anyone else getting another mimosa? Hey, by the way, I can’t stop ripping my own eyelashes out of my head. Can someone pass the hot sauce?"

For a while, I wore fake eyelashes, which seems like an obvious solution. But fake eyelashes are made for people who have real eyelashes—they often flop over your eyes like Snuffleupagus’s when you have nothing to support them (last summer, at a wedding, a friend had to pull me aside to tell me my eyelashes were dangling off my face).

And when you do find falsies that stay up straight, they are almost never made to look natural: They either have gaps between the lashes where your real lashes are meant to fill in, or they look so gaudy and huge that wearing them on a daily basis makes everyone wonder if you just returned from dancing at some sort of daytime nightclub.

I turned 30 this year, which marks almost 25 years in my quest to remove every single eyelash from my head. Doctors have told me that eventually, they won’t grow back. A few months ago, for the first time, I noticed they were finally right—the tiny buds that usually showed up a few weeks after pulling were making less regular appearances. I secretly snuck onto Sephora.com and bought a $75 eyelash serum, which I told my husband only cost $50. Because while he is the only person I can talk about my trich with, I knew he wouldn’t understand that I’d literally be willing to pay any price to have real eyelashes: $75, $100, $1,000, seven years of hard labor abroad a questionably sound sea vessel, literally anything.

I wonder sometimes why I had to have a compulsion like trichotillomania instead of a weird birthmark shaped like Yoda, or strangely small ears, or anything less embarrassing them my own lack of control plastered on my face, right in the eyeline of everyone I have ever met. It seems a bit harsh.

But then again, it doesn’t cause me any real harm besides how I look, and occasional minor eye damage. I’m healthy, despite this minorly broken part of my brain. Even as far as trichotillomaniacs go, it could be worse. Some people pull out all the hair on their heads, and I’ve never touched my head hair. Doctors have told me that it’s only cosmetic.

The way you know if a cartoon character is a male or a female is this: Look for the eyelashes. Minnie Mouse is just Mickey with three curved lines drawn above her eyes. Lola Bunny sports a flutter of eyelashes, while Bugs only rocks his expressive eyebrows. Daisy Duck would just be Donald in a dress—if it wasn’t for her long eyelashes. Maybe it’s only cosmetic, but it’s hard not to feel like eyelashes are what make the girl.

I hope that one day I can stop, that I will grow a whole set of eyelashes and not have to wear a protective layer of eyeliner like armor. I’ve tried therapy a few times, and while I know other people have had good results, for me it never seems to help. The only times I’ve been able to grow my eyelashes back were when I’ve pushed myself hard for a specific reason: I grew them back once when I was long distance from my boyfriend to surprise him. I grew most of them back for my wedding.

But eventually it takes too much mental energy to hold my hands at my sides, and I give in again. All the milestones I set for myself have come and gone without permanent change. I used to tell myself, "By the time I graduate college, I’ll stop." "By the time I’m 25." "By the time I have a real job."

At some point, maybe I should change the goal: Try to leave the house bare-lidded, embrace being Donald in a dress instead. But for now, I keep the shame nearly secret and blame myself for what my hands can’t stop doing.

Maybe when I’m 35.

Lucy Huber is a writer, multiple cat owner, and sufferer of Reverse Dawson's Creek Actor Syndrome, which is a disease she made up for when you are 30 but look 15. To see her other work or ask more specific questions about her cats visit lucyhuber.com. from Greatist RSS http://ift.tt/2DlK1VO I Can't Stop Pulling Out My Eyelashes (It's a Thing) Greatist RSS from HEALTH BUZZ http://ift.tt/2p47tno