#I never thought I'd write something about Sonia

[rawliverandgoronspice]

Anon who asked to share my thoughts. They might be a bit complicated since I'm not a native-English speaker so writing long stuff gets a bit rambly. Sorry, long.

To me the narrative between Zonai: Good Ganondorf(+Gerudo): Bad. Felt really weird because of how afraid Totk is about actually showing any kind of depth to the story.

Framing:

You start with, the story has a very black and white narrative. Sonia and Rauru are the good guys. You don’t even need to question it, because no matter what happens they are the good guys. They’re kind, just, and righteous.  No hint of any grey morality or anything. On the other side is Ganondorf, that guy doesn’t even get a second into his introduction in the 1st tear before he does something evil with no fanfare, no reasoning, we’re just dropped in the middle of his act of war. We are told “Yep, this guy is evil. You don’t even need to question it.” There’s not even a single line to give a background why he’s doing what he’s doing.

Ganondorf is standing against Rauru with a comparably miniscule number of warriors, vs Rauru who's got the allegiance of ALL the races in Hyrule including Gerudo and his superior power. We might not see that all the time, but the narrative makes it clear that this is the case. Why every race decided to bow down before them, and how they managed this feat is never explained, we’re just told this is the case. It feels very flat because again, it’s a “Just trust us, they’re the good guys.” We're just to believe no one objected, and everyone gladly decided to swear loyalty to the Zonai claiming to be backed by the Gods, and that all this happened with no hostilities beyond Ganondorf? That this was a completely peaceful takeover? Even with the Zora who already have their own royal-family? The Gerudo also already had their own line of succession, so what would they need a new King and Queen for?

Sonia and Rauru also seem very young, while I'd guess Ganondorf to be the equivalent of the older-adult Gerudo. Of course, Rauru might as well be much older than Ganondorf, we don’t know that, but even so, Rauru and Sonia both are seemingly very new to being rulers. It’s also not established if Zonai ruled before. Who the Zonai were in context to the other races. How the dynamics between all of them played out. Etc. (Heck, the game didn't even explain the connections between Barbarian armour set, which is Zonai in origin but actually has no real visual connection to anything we see.)

With Rauru also believing he's descended from the Goddesses, it gives a bit of an almost "born to rule" perspective even if he might not see it as that, but it comes across as such, especially since he says they founded Hyrule. Again, what was the Zonais role before they left? Were they equals, or did they always have a role of “ruling class”? Why would he think that him becoming King would be so much better for Hyrule? Was there war between the races? Was there some other issues that made it necessary?

While I can very much acknowledge that in this case Rauru and his folk ARE the good guys in this story, because that’s how this narrative works. What you see in Totk is what you get, there’s no depth to be explored, and you have to take it all at face value. I will still admit that if I could imagine this story to have more depth, and if this story had more layers, rather than just being very black and white, it could almost have become a “The good guys are blinded by their own hubris, and their overreach in wishing to rule the other races caused much civil war and strife within these races” where Ganondorf might have been the loudest and strongest faction against bowing before Rauru.

So factoring in the points already mentioned, a deeper story might have gone "Older King Ganondorf sees every race bowing down, even his own, before a Zonai calling himself descended from the Goddesses deciding he's in the right to rule above all other races, with his young Hylian wife. Only through their word and assurances that he has the "Godly" right to rule. Ganondorf refuses to acknowledge Rauru and Sonia as rulers above the Gerudo and even himself. A civil war breaks lose within the Gerudo, and Ganondorf and his people leave, while those bowing down to Rauru stay behind.” I've noted, the story never really actually explains how or why Rauru decided to establish new Hyrule. (I read all the ancient tablets, and they just skirt around it.) It also becomes extra strange when you note that Rauru already had the loyalty of the Gerudo, it just wasn’t Ganondorf and his group of Gerudo; whom he then insisted to try and win over.

I think with that idea in mind, Ganondorf's monologue about wasted potential about Rauru's powers could also makes sense as a callout against Rauru’s haughtiness and belief in his own Godly greatness: "So you're saying you're descended from Gods but you need a secret stone, and this is all you can do? Well now see how it goes when I even the playing-field." It becomes more of a "mortal challenging a God" dynamic. Even the Secret stones; Rauru only gave them to those who swore absolute fealty to him it seems, which could make sense, but it also makes it so that it puts him and Sonia, and his Kingdom above all the other races, with them his "servants" for a lack of a better word. Even if they are genuinely loyal to him, would that actually have meant they were the true rulers of their people? Or just the first ones to bow down. By Gerudo rule, Ganondorf was the true King of the Gerudo, yet a different Gerudo was appointed Chief it seems, when Ganondorf refused to bow down.

In Oot we at least got more of a foundation: 400 year war. Racism. Hyrule's King comes across as pretty incompetent. Koume and Kotake having a bad influence. (They also experienced at least 3 previous Gerudo King's in those 400 years, so wonder what happened there.) You get a better picture of Oot Ganondorf's motivation. I’m not saying Oot is perfect, but at least it wasn’t as black and white, and we actually did get some depth for motivations and reasons.

Yeah, fully agreed. Not much more notes to add haha.

Honestly, the more I think about it, and the more puzzled I am by the fact that the game chose to portray Ganondorf as the underdog of the conflict --not that he wasn't openly hostile since the very first second we see him, but it's established that he not only lived in Hyrule before Rauru's takeover AND that he couldn't scratch Hyrule even with his best efforts. If the game wanted me to feel sympathy towards Rauru and Sonia, the hylian/zonai side should have been actively struggling against the invasion, the secret stones the only thing barely keeping them out of harm until Ganondorf pretended an alliance (rather than a seddition) and then stole it from Sonia. At least make them equal in power, then it would have been clear that one side of the conflict plays dirtier than the other rather than... playing the only hand they were dealt with? And then, like, keep Ganondorf on the lookout for the rest of the stones? Or for zonite? Instead of exclusively focusing on eliminating Rauru and his allies? The game had many, many options to make Ganondorf pettier and motivated by power or greed in ways that were clearer and more coherent, and the fact that it didn't and made him this sort of puppet (ironically enough) that makes no internal sense whatsoever but solely exists to provide conflict for the heroes whenever needed really bugs me. It's just disrespectful towards the character they knowingly marketed as one of the core selling points of the game imho, and also disrespectful to the potential of the rest of their cast who deserved better stakes and character arcs.

[zeldaseyebrows]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you to my talented friend @linksthoughtbrambles for the tag!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Five. I write sloooow

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

182,205

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The Legend of Zelda

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Calamity of Link's Cargo Shorts

Sacrilege and Sororities

The Mushroom Risotto Incident

Cross My Heart

In the Blood

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always. People take the time to comment, so I will always take the time to respond. I sincerely appreciate people taking the time to comment, since it makes my day and fuels my fic writing.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm allergic to unhappy endings, so I'll never end anything truly sad. In the Blood is the angstiest one so far (that will have a happy ending), but I also have a Hylink fic in the works that will probably be the most sad (but will still have a good ending imo).

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Cross My Heart. They go get hitched in "West Hyrule"/California and live happily ever after.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully not yet. Everyone has been very kind so far.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind.

All of my fics on AO3 are rated E, so... Yep. But I don't write it without plot. I have to have the plot and character development.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No, but I'd love to do some silly ones. I did draw a lotr crossover that would be fun. And HTTYD. And Star Trek!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes. I was not happy about it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not, but I'd be honored if that ever happened!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not officially, but I am writing a fic that my friend Newt and I came up with together. Selkie AU let's goooo

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Ooof I would have to say zelink/hylink, but I am also BIG into Xena/Gabrielle, Kirk/Spock, Mako/Raleigh, Rauru/Sonia, Jon/Martin, and Achilles/Patroklos (from the Iliad solely and specifically!).

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have way too much faith in myself that I'll finish fics. But I was thinking of writing a silly ice skating/blades of glory AU that I will probably not get around to.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Humor and emotional resonance I think? That's what people seem to enjoy and what I try to convey too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm terrible at setting the scene. Description is noooot my thing at all. I try to work on being better at it though, especially with more atmospheric writing like in my zombie apocalypse AU.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'm not sure if I understand this question correctly. Like lotr style making up an entire new language, or contemporary writing using a different modern language and not translating it? I don't foresee needing to do either with any fic for loz, since it's not like I'm going to have Link or Zelda bust out some untranslated Elvish etc for funsies (since that wouldn't be fun for anyone). If I was writing something and wanted to specify it was in another language, I'd probably keep it in English and italicize it so the reader knows, like I did in Cross My Heart.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think I wrote some Grade A Absolute Crap fanfic that never saw the light of day for star trek. A simpler, still very embarrassing time.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Cross My Heart. I liked the plot, the weird structure, and the revenge narrative. It's near and dear to my own heart

[welcometololaland]

Hellooooooo friend 👋🏽

For the fan-related ask game: F, G, N, and Z? Please and thank you. 😁

(P.S. I am one of your biggest fans. You da best!! 💕)

SONIA! (As you know) I am a huge fan of yours too. So, I guess we are even! Thank you for the ask :)

F - What is the longest you've been in a fandom?

Look, I've actually never published anything for Veronica Mars but I think I've been in that fandom since I was like fourteen or something! I've never truly left in the sense that I stopped consuming the media (as I have done in other fandoms), in fact, I was watching season 1 last night, and I do read the odd fic! So, I think I'd say Veronica Mars for the past *counts on fingers* SEVENTEEN YEARS (minus the two or so years after s 4 where I had to wallow in sadness).

G - Who was your first OTP?

I think it would have to be Logan and Veronica from Veronica Mars. The first OTP i was REALLY REALLY obsessed with enough to drag me into an entirely new fandom was definitely Alex and Henry from RWRB.

N - Three things I wish I saw more of in fandom?

I don't think I need to explain this, but more diverse voices in fandom. As a writer and as a person, I think I could learn a lot from others especially when it comes to life experience, culture, religious practices etc., and it's a gift when someone in fandom is willing to share those things.

More interaction in DMs and asks in a way which allows readers to know creators AND creators to know readers! I was explaining to someone last night that my extroverted personality really manifests in wanting to know other people beyond the surface level. I get that not everyone wants to reveal everything about themselves online (which is SO valid), but I'd like to have more meaningful conversations with people and interact with more people. I love WIP Wednesday and Seven Sentence Sunday and all that, but I also love talking to other people about THEIR writing or their passions or their lives. I don't want to just talk about my writing all the time lol. This is an open invite for anyone to chat to me about LITERALLY anything. I promise I'm very friendly!

Appreciation for the people who make writers as good as they can be - sensitivity readers, beta readers, the readers who leave really lovely long comments or any kind of comment that is funny or thoughtful or kind. I love writers in fandom, but from my personal writing experience at least, it takes a fucking village, and I want those people to have their virtual flowers!!! I don't think I've nailed this yet, but I'd really like to develop that skill.

Z - Ramble about something

In light of paragraph (N)(3) above, I would like to make a personal shout out to YOU, @rmd-writes @athousandrooms and @celeritas2997 who have lived in many of my documents and put in SO MANY HOURS of work over the past (almost) 2 years. I really think my writing has transformed so much in that time. I can see such a marked difference in sentence structure, grammar, CHARACTERISATION and plot if I compare my writing from 2021 to now. It's actually very humbling to see how far I've come and I have to thank you all so much for helping me improve! Also, @dustratcentral for being such an iconic cheerleader. love your work.

(Send me an ask based on the alphabet)

[cosmic-cd]

at this hour despite my rabid adoration of ms. rika pokemon scarletviolet (rika i love you. i adore you)

i am gently rotating hazel and leon in my mind at 500mph

(because if i ship rika with anybody it's gonna be RGB LOL she's impulsive and needs someone to yell at her for jumping into danger all the time)

specifically thinking again about the DLCs for pokemon sword and shield though.....

i still really wanna write it! but in short i wanna write hazel going to the isle of armor to train (she's more interested in exploring but still gets roped into signing up at the dojo) and pushing leon to finally finish what he'd started all those years ago

because leon was, in fact, a student under mustard at one point, but got lost on the way to the towers and never finished his training

but, like. the thing is "leon gets lost all the time" is sort of a double meaning situation- he gets lost because he's "pants at directions", and i believe that- but he also can perfectly get to the right place when he's really needed. sometimes he gets lost because, well- maybe it's too much pressure. maybe it's something else.

i'd like to think at that point, it was the latter rather than the former

they don't really imply WHEN this happened- just that leon never went all the way with training kubfu- presumably this was after he became champion? or maybe before???

either way, i want to explore that when leon joins hazel on her visit there- hazel gets a young, bright eyed kubfu ready to train, while leon bumps into the kubfu he'd been given all those years ago- who is bitter, angry, and hurt from being left behind, and leon's gotta make up for it

(and then <333 hazel and leon <3333 can have the two different urshifu forms <33333 and have a fun gmax battle against each other <3333333333333)

also i've been rotating the crown tundra dlc ft. hazel & leon in my mind for a while. kind of want raihan there too honestly. especially because sonia is there.....

the thought being that hazel and leon go through the story with calyrex together- leon having come to the crown tundra to investigate a possible sighting of rose, and hazel coming along- only for them to bump into peony and leon and peony catch up and talk more about rose

but also calyrex <3 i'd really like to sit down and think about some extended lore for the crown tundra, calyrex itself, etc. because it's really interesting how much it mirrors the whole troubled/dethroned king and forgotten royalty concept

ANYWAYS this is a lot of words to say "hazel and leon are holding hands in my brain"

uh. uh. one last thought

😳 hazel steals leon's cape once in a while. it smells like his cologne and is heavy like a weighted blanket.. the wooloo wool helps <3

*scampers away*

[dragondemoness]

Okay, so I liked that previous kazuichi moves in from sonia and goes after celestia. Sooo~ I'd like you to write him moving on from sonia but to another blonde girl, but it's fuyuhikos sister Natsumi. If you can't do Natsumi, I'd totally love you to do hiyoko

Seriously, what is with me loving blonde mean girl characters lol

Lol hey, I don't blame you. I like to think I do a decent job of writing Natsumi, but I can do a separate one with Hiyoko if you want

Kazuichi Soda Moving on from Sonia and Falling for Natsumi Kuzuryu Headcanons

It didn't take long for him to finally move on

After all, what he had for Sonia was little more than some superficial crush

Sure, she was great and all, but his feelings never went beyond that crush

With that, he finally decided to give up and find someone else

While he was roaming around the school, he spotted Fuyuhiko talking to his sister, Natsumi

Kazuichi wasn't sure what it was, but he held his gaze on Natsumi for a moment

Something about her attitude, the way the sun shined on her hair and made it appear golden was mesmerizing to him

And with that, the mechanic finally found himself a new target

He knew trying to get her attention wouldn't be easy

She was in a different class, and if Fuyuhiko caught him anywhere near her, he'd be dead

Which Natsumi had used as a threat against Kazuichi multiple times

But of course, that didn't stop him

He felt something for her that he never felt for Sonia, and he damn well wasn't about to lose his chance

So anytime Fuyuhiko wasn't around, Kazuichi wasted no time in approaching Natsumi

Naturally, he was met with coldness

Natsumi was not the most sociable person

She thought he was clingy and annoying

But that didn't stop him, and he continued talking to her

Fuyuhiko got suspicious and asked what his problem was, but he ignored the Pomeranian lookalike and kept shooting his shot

After a while, Natsumi finally started to warm up to the mechanic

She didn't start acting nice all of a sudden, but she did stop pushing him away, which seemed like progress in his eyes

Eventually, Fuyuhiko had enough and he, Peko, and his yakuza surrounded Kazuichi

But Natsumi rushed him and told him to stop, finally declaring aloud that she loved Kazuichi

This gathered shocked looks from everyone around, and Natsumi once again ordered Fuyuhiko to back off

He begrudgingly did, but warned Kazuichi that he'd be sleeping with the fishes if he hurt her

He swore not to, and he and his golden goddess could finally start a relationship

Fuyuhiko watched him like a hawk when they were together, and he didn't allow him at their home

But he couldn't resist smiling a little when he saw how happy his sister was with Kazuichi

He'd come to accept it eventually, and he and Kazuichi will start acting like bros

Sonia was shocked when she found out, but she was happy for them

And Kazuichi was happier, too

[aseriesofunfortunatejan]

I can't import pictures without tumblr giving me the white screen treatment, so I can't even upload the sweet conversation between Akane and Kazuichi I wanted to remind people about.

So I guess I'll mention some of my thoughts by text before I cry and scream into a pillow. I've mentioned it before for Akane, but both she and Kazuichi are severely misrepresented by the fandom. (I feel like that terminology is accurate, but at the same time, please understand that I am also a member of the fandom and am simply making an observation, rather than trying to compare myself to other fans.)

Akane learns so much about herself in Chapter 4. She takes so many steps forward and admits her own weakness. She uses the word "weak" herself, a continuation of what her Coward disease suggested, that she was hiding feelings she perceived as weak. She got stubborn in front of Fuyuhiko, but did a complete 180 when Nekomaru died, recognising immediately that she hadn't shown her gratitude yet. She moved on to trying her best to help with the investigation - something she had already been doing during every investigation, by the way - but this time admitting her own limitations and going out of her way to ask for help in order to get a better result.

And I'll need to write a whole post about Kazuichi someday. Yeah, he has that obnoxious crush on Sonia, I see it, you see it, Sonia sees it, Fuyuhiko hates it too, we know. But Oh My God He Is So Helpful. The cast would have been nothing this entire chapter without his help. Even before that, Kazuichi is more than ready to use his ability and give the entire cast a hand (the communicators he built in Chapter 3 were game changing... literally). Then, something I already posted about, when Nagito pushes him to dismantle Nekomaru's body, Kazuichi fights his formerly debilitating fears and bravely does it. To top it off, he builds Minimaru (who also does massages, very important to Akane...) with the intent to cheer the others up.

"… I made this to cheer you guys up anyway. And…as long as we have it, we won't forget, you know?

About Nekomaru's sacrifice for us…

We're standing here today…because of him.

So, if we're gonna prevent something like that from ever happening again…

I guess we gotta fight too, right!? We can't just keep running away!"

Fuyuhiko himself says: "I gotta admit…I never thought I'd hear you say something that awesome." Of course, Kazuichi follows it up by asking Sonia what she thinks, and she didn't pay attention, and he's upset, to which Fuyuhiko reacts with something along the lines of "and that's the punchline." Yeah, it is. That's the joke-y part that comes after the deep dialogue. I didn't think I was playing some other game.

But I beg that people look into what makes Kazuichi interesting and touching. What matters here is not that his talent does the job - it's that he goes out of his way to use it to help, and with Minimaru, cheer up others. And the other thing that matters is the fears that previously made him look ridiculous, that he learned to face in so little time to become frankly brave and inspiring.... for a guy wearing a bright yellow overall.

Something I'll bring up as a bonus is... When Gundham explains his logic that he didn't think it okay to give up and wait to die, Hajime has a flashback to the time he himself said the contrary, that he'd rather wait to die than cause another murder. But the very line that started that flashback was Kazuichi asking the exact same question as Gundham.

[a-tale-never-told]

What Am I Doing?

//I have to admit something: I don't even know what I'm writing anymore. Honestly, I'm trying to write something compelling yet definitive for this story, yet I feel like I keep constantly failing to even write a single ask or chapter that can be considered good now.

//And the worst part is: I don't even know why the chapters are like this. Was it something that I was doing wrong? The writing? The dialogue? All of the above? Am I a shitty writer? I DON'T KNOW! I seriously cannot comprehend what I'm even writing about.

//I think I know the reason why the writing is like this and why the quality has taken a nosedive: It's because I haven't planned this arc out, nor the ideas for future arcs as of writing this story. Whenever I have any interesting idea for an arc or story part that I wanna write, I instantly forget it the next day once I awaken. Maybe it's because of some cognitive brain disease that I can't remember, but when I wake up, I instantly lose all of the ideas that I once possessed.

//And another issue that I encountered is that I don't even know how to write an actual conversation between these characters anymore, let alone the more complex ones. The recent asks have some of the most bland, generic, characterization I've ever seen, and aside from bringing up Harumi in one ask and mentioning All Quiet On The Western Front in another, when has there been an ask that was ever written well?

//Sure, I'm receiving a lot of anonymous asks, but what's even the point of it if the writing isn't even that good to begin with? When had any conversation in this story felt actually realistic and well written, aside from a few instances? Another issue is that I cannot write every single character at once, as it is so fucking hard. I legitimately was confused about what I was writing, if this character was Hajime, Sonia, or Mahiru.

//I never expected to handle that many characters in this blog, but when I look at the All Eyes On Me arc from ASOOT( which is incredibly well written, by the way. I recommend you check it out) and when the New Future drops a new chapter, I look at my own and think "What am I even doing? The absolute lack of uniqueness for almost the rest of the characters and iconic personality traits makes the entire thing look poorly executed sludge, in my opinion.

//I'm not trying to constantly sound negative with these posts, but thanks to the crippling depression I have, I, unfortunately, go off into absolute self-loathing rants that I'd probably forget once I woke up the next morning. I apologize if I neglected to tell you that I suffer from depression earlier, but at least I gave you an explanation as to why I break down like this, as opposed to some people thinking that I'm a whiny little asshole.

//But the biggest issue for me is that after looking at everything and how each of my posts for the story was received, I came to a realization that I don't even know what I'm writing anymore: I can't write, at least not in this state. I don't even have the confidence to write a simple ask anymore, as I don't even know what I'm writing exactly.

//Honestly, 2023 is such a shit year for me, both on the story blog front and on the personal front as well, constantly struggling to pass heavy schoolwork, having issues to deal with, and my constant depression and memory loss are hurting my ability to even give you all compelling, quality level writing, and with a mental state like this, I don't even know what I'm even saying or talking about.

//I'm pathetic, a shitty writer, and I just... want to be left alone right now, okay? I just... need a lot of time to process my thoughts. Have a good rest of the evening everyone.

[ermwhattehsigma]

Day 4, still going strong! This time I've picked the third prompt for the day, the quote, "You in there?" This entry is a little bit shorter than I would like, but I promise I will make up for it with tomorrow's! Further more, I'd like to say, AAAAA!!! My day 3 post was reblogged by the official Whumptober archive blog! I'm so happy :,D The writing won't stop!

——————————————————————————————————

If there’s one thing Hop hates, it’s crying. That’s not to say he hates seeing others cry, or that he hates the sound of it– He acknowledges the fact that crying is a healthy, normal activity. Sometimes it's good to let out your sadness rather than keep it bottled up.

That doesn’t mean he has to like it, though. Crying is uncomfortable, or so he believes. It’s wet, it’s messy, and it’s loud. Once he begins crying, he can’t stop, and he really dislikes that loss of control over himself and his emotions. Besides, crying is synonymous with being sad, and he’s not a fan of that either. Hop is always full of energy, fun and cheerful and ready to tackle whatever is in front of him. Crying feels antithetical to that image he’s crafted, that spirit he brings.

But of course, he can’t help it. Sometimes, something is too much not to cry over, and Hop finds now is one of those times. He’s sitting in a bathroom, face in his hands as tears pour from his eyes. It’s a pretty poor location to find himself sobbing in, but at least he has an ample source of ‘tissues’. He tears off a square of toilet paper and blows his nose.

What strikes him as the most pathetic part of this all is that he’s the only one acting like this right now. Outside, everyone is having a good time, chatting and eating. It’s a party, one that Leon is hosting in the name of all the Gym Leaders, thanks to their contributions towards the Eternatus incident. They deserve it, really, but the fact that all of the Gym Leaders were invited posed a problem from the get-go. Namely, that meant that Bede was there.

Hop doesn’t know why he ever thought it was a good idea to come. Leon had invited Sonia, and naturally she asked to bring Hop along, and of course he said yes. Why wouldn’t he? He has no idea about the animosity between his brother and the newly appointed fairy type Gym Leader, because Hop never told him. It didn’t even register to Hop that he would see Bede there until he was face to face with the smug bastard.

And of course, the other tore him down. There was no pretense of politeness between them, though Hop supposes that’s partially his own fault, with the way he had been glaring at the other before he even opened his mouth. He wishes he hadn’t opened it. He wishes he had kept his piercing comments to himself, and he wishes he wasn’t so weak that he let them affect him.

For all of the bravado and confidence Hop puts forward, it sure does seem to fold easily in the face of criticism.

A knock on the bathroom door jolts him out of his thoughts. He wipes his eyes frantically on his sleeve, trying to compose himself as quickly as he can.

“You in there?”

He freezes. He hadn’t expected a question, nor was he expecting to hear the flat, chill voice of Marnie. His arm lowers as he puzzles over why she’s here. Judging by what she said, it sounds like she was looking for him.

“Yeah, I’m in here,” He answers, feeling uneasy. “Are you?...”

“Your brother was wondering where you disappeared off to.”

Ah. That explains it. He sniffles, his nose feeling stuffy and his cheeks wet. He’s in no condition to face Leon right now. In fact, Leon is the last person he wants to see right now, or even talk to. He had been hoping he’d have more time to finish crying and pull himself together, but he supposes he should’ve known better. His brother has always had a keen eye for details.

“You alright?”

Whoops. He forgot to respond. It’s hard not to get lost in his own head right now, but he should really focus on seeming somewhat coherent.

“I’m fine, sorry. Could you tell Lee I’m going home early?”

“Sneaking out, eh? Back door’s further down the hall, I think.”

That is not the verb he would use to describe what he plans to do, but he supposes now that he’s learnt there’s a less conspicuous exit just within reach, yeah. He pretty much plans to sneak out. Thinking about it like that makes him feel guilty, though, like he’s running away.

“You know,” Marnie continues, “Bede can’t tell a lie to save his life. I asked him if he had seen ya, and he just about spelt it all out for me. Only a matter of time ‘til Opal finds out he misbehaved and gives him an earful.”

Admittedly, the mental image of Bede being chewed out by an old lady such as Opal does make him feel marginally better. Whether that was the intended effect or not, though, is unbeknownst to Hop. Surely Marnie isn’t trying to cheer him up right now, right? They haven’t interacted much before now, but he has heard many good things from his rival, and she is quite the strong trainer. All in all, he thinks she’s a cool person.

“You think so?”

“Oh, I know so,” She answers, then pauses before adding, “If you stick around, you could see it for yourself. She might even make him apologize to ya.”

He huffs good naturedly at this.

“It wouldn’t be genuine.”

“No, but you could rub it in his face.”

Marnie is strong, unflappable, and extremely convincing, it seems. His face no longer feels wet, though it’s a bit cold from the tear stains having dried on his skin. A splash of water from the sink should help to hide the remaining evidence of his sob session. His eyes might still look a little red, but that should be easy enough to wave off.

So, that begs the question: Would he rather go home and wallow in his misery, or go back out onto the party floor and watch Bede receive the scolding of a lifetime?

The choice is obvious.

“I’ll be out in a minute.”

[iboatedhere]

Hi! So I have a random question about writing but no pressure to respond at all. I started reading your stuff as soon as I joined the LS fandom earlier this year. I am a big fan of your writing and how you can create a whole universe through one short prompt. This last month has been so awesome, thanks for everything you're doing to make the wait for Lone Star a little less hellish. Saving my life tbh. 😂 🙂

I have written a bit in some of my past fandoms and with the new season coming, I have been thinking of writing some stuff for Lone Star. I've never used a beta before, and since I'm sort of new to the fandom, I thought it might be good to find one if I decide to try writing for Lone Star. It sounds like you use a beta from time to time. I was wondering like, have you always had one? How does it work, is it just you tell them what you want them to look over and they comment? I did some googling and it sounds like what they do varies. Do you think it makes a big difference or is it just a nice extra thing to have? Is it hard to get feedback, like have you ever gotten negative feedback? That seems like the scariest part lol.

I still don't know how I'd find one, but just curious about how it works and how it helps, especially for a writer who writes as much as you do. Sorry this is kinda long, so no worries if you can't answer. Just asking around to some writers in the fandom who have mentioned using a beta before. Thanks so much in advance for any feedback!

Hello!

I didn't always have a beta, especially not when I was starting out and imo---you can tell. But that's okay! I mean, we all do this shit for free and for fun and as long as 80% of the words are in the correct order and 70% of those words are spelled correctly it's fine!

(If you ever sign up for a writing challenge or a big bang or something like that, they might require a beta and if that's the case I've found that if you don't have one, they'll assign one for you.)

I started to use a beta on a regular basis in the last fandom that I was in and found that it really helped a lot especially since I am not a proofreader and I never have been. Even when I was in school I would finish a paper and call it a day because I was not rereading that shit.

When you get into a new fandom is always kinda scary because maybe you don't have any friends there and it's super intimidating especially if the show has been going for a bit and everyone is kinda paired off into a groups and finding someone to read your work can be hard. I actually don't know how Sonia became my beta but I literally thank god that she did because she makes all my stuff so much better. She reads for grammar, spelling, structure--she'll tweak stuff that isn't working and switch stuff around so it sounds better. When I write, I basically just word vomit into a doc and she sorts it all out for me. I love it and I need it.

SO, basically, a beta will do whatever you need them to do, but they will only do what they want to do. I lucked out with Sonia because she does it all and she's a wizard but there are betas out there that only read for spelling or grammar (which is fine because they are also doing this for free and for fun). I will literally end a fic midsentence and be like "I don't know what's happening help" and she will help me. So for me, I definitely need one and I need it to be Sonia.

So, I would definitely suggest getting a beta, for at least grammar and stuff because I honestly cannot be bothered with that. You can tell when you read stuff that I just whip out there (codas written the day after an ep airs) without it being betaread.

Feedback:

For me, I absolutely sweated every single second after I hit post on that first LS fic. I was terrified that no one would read it or no one would like it and as a writer you want your stuff to be read and liked! But it all worked out, and now I'm really glad I took the plunge.

Negative feedback: I literally just got some the other day and you just have to tell them to go fuck themselves, honestly, and let it roll off your back. Again, we're all doing this for free and for fun and unless you specifically ask for criticism, they should not be giving it. Tag your stuff to the best of your abilities, leave an author's note at the end if you feel like something might get dicey, but beyond that, they know where the back button it.

[randomnameless]

Eremiya is proof that the writers will still turn you into a "poor Waifu who needed the right man" even if you kill children. Why didn't we get Nyna, Medeus, or anyone else, *sigh*.

Killing children in fe sounds odd bcs it's possible to fight against bandit children, but the sad fact with eremiya sending children to death as assassins sounded like Sonia from fe7, with the added and unneeded twist that gharnef was behind it.

Sonia was a cruel and assholish woman, she thought she was human and that's the only extent of Nergal's lie (by omission? I don't think he told her "you're human GG"). Taking control of the fang through Brendan's reptilian brain, ditching uhai and legault, turning the fang in her army, murdering Nino's parents, abusing her, killing Brendan and other tasty things she did? From her own will, and Sonia might not be you're pure waifu but I bet swimsuit!Sonia would sell way better than any "but she was brainwashed!" waifu in heroes.

Face it anon, once you do it you'll feel better : Nyna will never be in the game. Sad truth but truth nonetheless.

[vrisrezis]

Hi! How are you? I'd love to see your take on the DR2 characters and the love languages they'd prefer to receive. Your writing is so engaging and I feel as if they're really in tune with the characters' personalities & thinking. Ty if you do decide to write this I feel like it'd be interesting! No pressure, though. Hope you're doing okay, have a nice day!

Ty for the kind words! I definitely try my best to make my writing in character!

Mahiru likes acts of service the most. It doesn’t have to be huge gestures, just stuff like cleaning up the dishes for her when she’s noticeably tired, even though it’s her day to do the dishes. Stuff like that.

Peko is also a fan of acts of service, giving and receiving. It’s all she knows, so to see somebody show her the same kinda love she gives let’s her know you care.

Ibuki is a fan of words of affirmation, she loves to compliment you and loves compliments herself! She doesn’t get them often enough and she loves loves LOVES to hear em!

Hiyoko love language is acts of service, if her friendship with Mahiru has anything to say about it. She likes people based on what they do for her, helping her with her kimono, or anything else she deems important.

Mikans love language is a secret, but it’s words of affirmation. Okay maybe not so much of a secret, she’s kinda obvious! But she never received that growing up, so she loves hearing it!

Nekomarus love language is simply quality time. He doesn’t expect too much from his partner as I see him as the type to wanna give things rather than receive for the most part but he loves spending time with you as it shows you wanna be around him!

Gundhams love language is physical touch. I believe all 5 love languages can go with gundham but physical touch especially, since he’s so touch starved and he just.. loves to touch you.. since nobody ever does.

Nagitos love language is quality time. The fact you spend time with somebody like him shows you care for him.. he may not understand it but man he’d be a huge liar if he said he didn’t love it!

Chiakis love language is also quality time. She loves to spend time with the person she loves and she would not appreciate being with somebody that didn’t take the time to be with her.

Sonia’s love language is physical touch! She’s very clingy, so she would like to receive all that physical lovin! Hugs, kisses, you name it! Showing your love through physical touch is the way to her heart!

Akane likes quality time the most, she believes it’s best to become closer with somebody if you spend a ton of time together. The more time that’s spent together the more she likes you!

Souda s love language is physical touch. The guy is honestly just a clingy and touchy dude so he’d appreciate somebody that likes touching him. Not many people do to be honest. He also likes words of affirmation a lot, it’s a close second.

Fuyuhiko believes in acts of service. He believes doing nice things for his partner is important, so he expects the same back from you. It’s his main way of showing he cares.

Hajimes love language should be obvious, but it’s gift giving. He gives gifts to his friends all the time, and he appreciates that you would do it for him. It doesn’t matter if it’s cheap, you thought of him and bought him something with your money.

[owo-shenanigans]

So I'd like to make a request if you okay about it. Can i request something like a headcanons with yours fav male characters, from any Danganronpa game you want, and how they Will react to their s/o being a mastermind(or blackened)?

Of course! This was an absolute BLAST to write, though I teared up a few times :’‘) requests are OPEN!

KAZUICHI, GUNDHAM, AND KIIBO WITH A BLACKENED S/O

Word Count: 1.8k

KAZUICHI SOUDA

"No, I have an alibi- I was with Kazuichi!" Your words silenced the others who had begun to gang up on you. The trial was for Sonia's murder. With an unidentified fatal wound on the back of her head, she had been discovered at 7am in the restaurant.

He smiled and nodded, hand in a thumbs up. "Yeah! We were together all night - no way they could have done it!"

At the raised eyebrows from the others, he flushed. "I-I didn't mean-"

At your laugh, he just kept his mouth shut. But your alibi was set in stone.

Half an hour later, you wished you had kept your own mouth shut. Hajime had ripped your alibi to shreds, stating that Kazuichi was a known heavy sleeper- you could have snuck out and back in with him none the wiser.

"But- no, I couldn't have done it-!" You stated desperately, fists clenched. "Where on Earth would I have gotten a baseball bat!? Where could I have-"

Hajime's face at that made you fall silent, a terrible chill falling down your back.

"We never figured out what the murder weapon was, (Y/N)."

You glanced around wildly, but you could see your fate was sealed. Kazuichi's face was the worst one. His eyes were filled with tears, and as he looked at you, you found that you couldn't go on anymore.

"You're right, Hajime. I… I killed Sonia. I sent her a letter asking her to come to the restaurant at 3 in the morning, posing as you. I told her… I told her that I'd found a newspaper article about her country, and that I thought she should read it. When she arrived… She never saw my face. I snuck up behind her and… That's it."

You gripped your podium, hands shaking at the sounds of Gundham’s hamsters squeaking- almost overshadowing the faint cries from their master.

The votes came in- all but one for you.

The moment you were released from your podiums, Kazuichi dashed over to you, hands gripping yours.

"(Y/N), you- you- why? How could you do this to me? To all of us?"

He was choking back sobs, pink hair stuck in the tear tracks down his face. You gently reached out and touched them, and he leaned in to your touch.

"I'm so sorry Kazuichi. But they… What I saw… I knew I had to get off the island. I couldn't live without knowing the motive was fake."

Monokuma giggled in his obnoxiously high pitched voice.

"But now you'll never know, because it's PUNISHMENT TIME!"

Choking back your own sobs, you gave Kazuichi one last hug, one last desperate kiss.

"Get off this island. Get off this island for me."

The collar came and snapped around your neck, tearing you apart from him forever.

GUNDHAM TANAKA

"Mahiru was always hanging around you, Beta Bitch! I bet you killed her because you knew you would never be as kind as her, or as sweet as her, or as… as… WAAAAAAAAH!"

Hiyoko let out an ear splitting wail, as you started to try and defend yourself. But before you let out a word, the man across from you spoke up.

"Silence, Sea Urchin! For I was with thy darkness at the time of the crime. We were supplying sustenance to the caged creatures. They could not have hurt the now deceased."

You couldn't help smiling at his wordy, yet correct response. "We were feeding the animals at the farm," you translated. "And he would have seen me leaving, as there's only one exit. The whole place is surrounded by a fence, after all."

Hajime, who seemed to be leading the trial, nodded at that, and the discussion moved on. Once everyone's eyes were off you, you let out a sigh of relief.

There. Your alibi was safe. You were safe. You could- you could go home, and make sure that the video was lying.

Unnoticed by you, a little girl in blonde pigtails was staring at you. And she had a scowl on her face.

Half an hour later, everyone had gone around in circles three times. Nagito was doing his usual obscuration of the investigation. Not that you were complaining.

Wiping the sweat off your brow, you didn't hear what Hiyoko said through your rushing blood.

"So, I know you idiots let Beta Bitch off the hook because she couldn't have left the farm, but are you all ignoring the giant hole in their stupid argument?"

Everyone zeroed in on Hiyoko, who paled a moment before tossing her head.

"There's a literal hole in their argument."

"I agree with that!" Hajime shouted. "There's a little hole in the fence, right next to the hotel."

You had snapped back in at this point, hands shaking.

"But- there's also a- a fence around the hotel! I couldn't get thro-"

"That's wrong!" He shouted again, and you've never hated him more than in this moment. "Yes, there is a fence, but you didn't have to go through- not with the murder weapon you chose. With a relic sword from the library, all you had to do was stab through the fence."

"I found hay on the sword…. I think." Chiaki interjected. "I guess you hid the sword in the animal food until Gundham wasn't looking…. And then you left through the hole in the fence…."

From there, they tore apart your alibi, destroyed any chance you had of leaving the island.

But the look on Gundham’s face dried up any arguments you had. Every time you opened your mouth, his Deva's chitted at you, quiet and yet louder than Hajime's closing argument.

The votes came in- every single person had voted for you, except a lone two against Hajime. Hajime didn't even have the decency to appear offended by the votes, his expression pained as he stared at you.

"It was the motive video." You confessed, and you shut your eyes to keep out the sight of them all staring. "I had- I had to go home. I had to make sure it was fake. I knew it couldn't be real, because- because-"

Gundham took your hand gently and you broke down into his arms. Clutching at him like a lifeline, you sobbed out the rest of your story.

"I'm so, so sorry, Gundham. I never should have used you. The video isn't an excuse." You let out a watery chuckle. "None of you fell for it, did you?"

Pulling your motive video out, you tucked it into Gundham's jacket. "Check for me, will you? Make sure… make sure it's not true."

"Sweetne-" he started, but Monokuma interrupted with a feral grin.

"Real or fake, now you'll never know, because it's PUNISHMENT TIME!"

Monokuma tore you from Gundham, your watery smile the last he ever saw of you.

KIIBO

"Sorry, Shuichi, but I couldn't have done it." You shrugged at his accusation, internally sweating enough to fill a pool.

"I was with Kiibo at the time; I couldn't have left the kitchen without him seeing me."

"And I didn't see them leave the kitchen, let alone the dining room." Kiibo stated this almost proudly, and you had to fight off a wave of affection for the man. You couldn't doubt yourself- not now. Not when you had already done what you did. There was no going back.

"I couldn't have killed Kokichi."

At your words, everyone glanced at the portrait of the boy. None of them had liked him, sure, and he had screwed with them through the trials… but some of the things he said held the hidden piece necessary to understand the plot.

You shifted in your podium- his photographed eyes almost seemed to be following you. Kiibo caught your hand and squeezed it, offering a smile to you. Giving a tremulous smile in turn, you tried to calm your heart rate.

An hour later, you were shaking all over.

"You said your alibi was Kiibo, but Miu said THIS-" and he held up an electronic device- "was missing from her lab. It went missing this morning, and was found in the back of the kitchen cupboard. And the kitchen clock was a few minutes off. My theory? You set off a pulse to turn Kiibo off, which accidentally turned off the clock as well. You left the dining room, entered the warehouse, and strangled Kokichi."

You gulped loudly, the sound echoing in your head. Glancing around wildly, you were met with people convinced of your guilt. Turning to your right, you saw Kiibo- and you knew in that moment that if he were able to cry, he would be sobbing.

The look on his face made you give up.

"(Y/N).... It's not…. It's not true, is it?"

You looked down at your podium, your lack of an answer an answer nonetheless.

The votes came in, every single vote going your way. Even Kiibo, huh? Not like you didn't deserve it.

Drawing in a shaky breath, you spoke.

"I…. I just had to get out of here. I was going crazy. All the- all the death, the executions- I knew I was going to be next! So I…. I went to the warehouse. I was psyching myself out, by that point. But then…. Then Kokichi-

"He kept taunting me. Saying that- that he knew someone was planning to kill me, and that I was so weak and pathetic that they'd succeed and I-!

"I strangled him. I came back to myself with the rope wrapped around his neck, and he wasn't responding! I came back to the kitchen and…. And I hid the electronic in the back of the drawer. And that's it. That's how I killed Kokichi Oma."

You risked a glance over at Kiibo, and your heart sank. He was merely staring at you, no emotion on his face.

"For what it's worth… I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Kiibo. I shouldn't have used you for my alibi."

Drawing in a breath, you choked on it when he pulled you into a hug. Pulling back, he touched his forehead to yours, your hands clutched in his.

"My inner voice is wrong. I…. I'll escape. I'll escape for you, (Y/N). I promise. I swear to you."

You let out a half sob, but you couldn't stop a final smile at how pure hearted he was.

"Don't… don't make the same mistake I did. Defeat whoever trapped us in here. Escape… escape without destroying yourself in the process, my dearest Kiibo."

"Oh, how heartwarming." Monokuma crooned in his high pitched voice. "You'll be warm enough in a whole lot of other places soon, because it's PUNISHMENT TIME!"

The collar snapped around your neck and tore you from his hands. He reached out to you desperately, but it was too late.

[morethanaprincess-a]

The character limit in comments got me but, for me it’s when it stops making sense. Not in an, “i don’t know these words way”, more like a “who is this?? what’s going on???” way. Because. Okay. So if you’re writing from a single perspective, you want to capture that perspective, right? So if your character talks like shakespeare, their thoughts may sound the same, so you may use bigger, fancier words to capture that. But if your character is some joe with a fairly mainstream vocabulary (like, by definition, most), and you’re writing long, intricate sentences that your character could never in a million years, replacing every word with the third result down in a thesaurus, it does get a little disorienting imho. (Also, overusing a thesaurus and replacing words with other words that the writer clearly doesn't know well and therefore has used incorrectly. Similar meaning doesn't equal interchangeable usage.) It’s like having a killer icing recipe that’s great for cakes, but putting it on lasagna just to prove you can make good icing. You may have talent, but all you're making with it is a mess. Be confidant in your skills, it's just as hard to write a nuanced, relatable character as it is to write pretty sentences. Harder, even.

I think this is where I tend to see purple prose, too: when a character wouldn't sound, or think, in such a complicated, overly verbose way but that's what we're given. I personally like seeing 'big words' sprinkled in here and there, especially if it fits a particular character to use them, but when it's every other word being replaced by something grander, it doesn't flow correctly.

And don't tell Sonia about the possibility of putting icing on lasagna. She may just try that. Culinary disasters are her specialty!

But yes, I completely agree that it's a challenge to write a nuanced, relatable character. Though I'd go further than just relatable, because there's plenty of muses I just can't relate to. I'd replace it with believable instead: even if I haven't experienced it myself, can I really see this muse saying this and doing that (canon divergency aside)? That's usually how I see purple prosing.

Please no orbs

[kuramirocket]

Sonia Gutierrez dreamed of returning to her hometown of Denver as a television reporter for the city's defining news station: KUSA 9News. When she finally achieved it, however, it came at too steep a cost, she says.

Gutierrez says she was told that she could report on immigration, an issue about which she cares deeply, but only if she were to state her own immigration status on air in every story on the subject.

"I was put in a box simply for who I am," Gutierrez says.

She had never tried to hide that her parents had brought her as a baby from Mexico without documentation. But Gutierrez, 30, says she balked at the station's directive. She was told she could continue pitching stories about immigration, but, she says, she was asked to pass off her ideas and sources to other reporters.

Gutierrez is no longer with KUSA. Nor are two other Latina reporters. One had pushed editors to involve Black and Latino colleagues in more decisions about news coverage. The other's contract was not renewed five months after she had returned after having a stroke. She, too, had challenged station leaders on how they cover issues affecting Latinos in Colorado.

Over the course of a year, from March 2020 to March 2021, KUSA allowed each of the women's contracts to lapse without renewal, the way television stations typically part with their journalists.

"It is racist to require a Latino reporter, a Hispanic reporter, to disclose their own immigration status [to viewers] before reporting on immigration," says Julio-César Chávez, the vice president of National Association of Hispanic Journalists.

The outcry has focused an unwanted glare on Tegna, one of the nation's largest and most prominent owners of local television stations, just as the company faces claims of racial bias from a dissident investor.

"9News is the market leader in Denver and has been for decades," KUSA news director Megan Jurgemeyer says, "Having worked at another station in town, it was always viewed as the top competition and who we wanted to beat."

9News is unusually woven into the fabric of its parent company. Tegna's CEO Dave Lougee used to be the station's news director. KUSA's general manager, Mark Cornetta, is also the executive vice president of Tegna Media, the company's local television division. And Patti Dennis, a Tegna vice president and director of recruitment, is herself a former KUSA news director who still works out of the station's main building in Denver. All three are white, as are Jurgemeyer and Ryan.

Parent company faces its own issues with race

Tegna faces its own allegations of racial bias. An activist hedge fund, Standard General LP, recently nominated rival directors, saying it wanted to diversify the company's largely white board. 

In an April federal securities filing, Standard General accused Tegna of racist practices stretching back years.

In 2019, a sports anchor at the company's Phoenix station accused its general manager — recently promoted from a job as KUSA's sales manager — of making "loud and unwelcome racist and sexist comments about coworkers" at a baseball game, in a civil complaint reviewed by NPR

Jamie Torres, a Denver city council member, was among the Latina state and local public officials who met twice with KUSA executives following the dismissal of the three journalists. She says the meetings left her unconvinced that there would be real progress beyond some changes in language and style.

"The conversation felt just incredibly transactional," Torres says.

And it renewed long-held frustrations: Torres says the three Latina journalists had been hired after an earlier round of discussions between the station and Denver-area Latino officials about representation at KUSA.

"Why Don't You Pitch It To Telemundo?"

While in college, Gutierrez interned at the local affiliate of the Spanish-language network Telemundo. Back then, it was housed inside KUSA's headquarters. Though owned by Tegna, KUSA is an affiliate of NBC, and Telemundo is part of NBC's parent company, Comcast.

As Gutierrez rose at Telemundo Denver, she also pitched stories to KUSA.

She says she often heard back: "That's a great story idea, why don't you pitch it to Telemundo?" Her response: KUSA also needed to serve Latino families — the ones who speak English.

"After a while, when stories wouldn't get picked up, I would just take it upon myself to do the interviews, write up a little [script] and give it to the anchors and say, 'It's done.' To the producers, 'It's done. You want it or not?' " Gutierrez says it was easier to hand off the idea fully baked.

After a stint at a station in Columbia, S.C., Gutierrez returned to KUSA as a reporter. She says KUSA leaders told her that she could be a defining person for the station, someone who would thrive there. By her telling, Gutierrez ignored the little slights that accreted.

Then, Gutierrez says, she was told she had to disclose that she had been a DREAMer, protected from deportation through the Obama-era policy called Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals, or DACA, before she became a legal permanent resident through marriage. She didn't see why viewers needed to be told that in each of her immigration reports.

Gutierrez says she received no response when she asked for concrete examples of how her status had compromised her reporting. And when she refused to go along, Gutierrez says, she was told she would have to pass her story ideas and sources on immigration to other reporters.

"It's not like there was something wrong with me or my reporting," says Gutierrez, who left last year. "There was just something wrong with who I was — a liability to them."

Allegations of unfulfilled promises

Aguirre, 34, a Mexican-American who grew up near Midway Airport on the South Side of Chicago, says she had been inspired to become a journalist to tell stories about Latinos that were not simply about crime and immigration.

She came to Denver after being an anchor at a smaller station in Flint, Mich. 

Aguirre says she believed her pursuit of community-driven news brought value.

"I can tell a story in a much different way than a female white reporter can because I lived it. I know the questions to ask," Aguirre says.

In April 2019, Aguirre suffered a stroke that resulted in a traumatic brain injury and paralyzed her on her left side; as she built back strength and returned in the fall.

After roughly six months, as new newsroom leaders rotated in she did not return to the anchor's chair. Aguirre alleges in a formal amended complaint she filed with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission earlier this year.

Aguirre left the station in March 2020. Her attorney, Iris Halpern, says the complaint is currently in mediation.

"Because they're KUSA, they can just get somebody else," Aguirre says. "They can get another Latino who fills that Brown category, who's cheaper, younger, greener and more afraid to ask any questions. Although I was recovering [from the stroke], I was still that woman who would push back. So I'd be in those meetings and I would ask 'Why?' "

"I was instructed not to wear my hair in a bun"

After two years as a reporter in Bakersfield, Calif., Lori Lizarraga says, she was told by 9News that she would be an asset and she joined the station. 

Lizarraga, whose mother was born in Ecuador and whose father is first generation Mexican-American, remembers saying, "'My voice will never track this [the word illegal] slew of words." She says she ended up shying away from stories involving immigration.

Lizarraga recalls even having her hairstyles vetoed. She wrote in Westword, "After six months, I was instructed not to wear my hair in a bun with a middle part anymore — a style I have seen and worn as a Mexican and Ecuadorian woman all my life. Not a good look, I was told."

"We Would Have Had Reporters On Every Corner"

Lizarraga, who left in March, says she hit an inflection point early last year. Colorado state regulators had just announced a record fine against a Canadian energy giant whose plant had been polluting nearby neighborhoods for years. She read up on it as she raced with a colleague in the official KUSA 9News van to the press conference.

"Ash was falling from the sky onto people's cars and yards and playgrounds," Lizarraga recalls. "Water was impacted."

She was struck by something else: The communities affected were heavily Latino. Yet, she says, state regulators had not consulted with those communities or even put out information in Spanish. And back in the newsroom, she says, producers focused solely on the size of the fine — potentially up to $9 million.

"I was very upset and I said, 'You know, if this were a community in a ZIP code just up the street with a different demographic, we would have had reporters on every corner ' " to interview residents, Lizarraga says. "And because this is a Spanish-speaking, low-income, largely immigrant community, we don't have an interest. We are choosing what is newsworthy based on what you care to talk about, not what is actually newsworthy."

"We have to confront management"

At KUSA, Lizarraga says supervisors resented her for demanding that African American colleagues be consulted on coverage about Floyd's murder and the protests. She thought they had a right to weigh in on questions such as: How much of the video of Floyd's death should be shown? When and if the word "riot" was appropriate? How much coverage should there be of police tactics?

Lizarraga says she rallied colleagues of color to object when the station decided to stage a town hall meeting on race and equity hosted solely by a white anchor. Instead of channeling that fervor, Lizarraga says, it was largely deflected.

"We can't be exhausted, we can't be scared," Lizarraga recalled telling colleagues. "We have to confront management and tell them that we have ideas and that we deserve a spotlight right now."

Meanwhile, she says, she was not recognized for the initiative she showed, such as the data-driven pieces that officials and advocates said (in text messages reviewed by NPR) served as a road map for government agencies seeking to arrange COVID-19 testing in heavily affected Black and Latino neighborhoods.

Life after KUSA 9News

Gutierrez now works across town at Rocky Mountain PBS. Aguirre is a local news anchor and reporter in Asheville, N.C., part of a television market that is about half the size of that of Denver.

Lizarraga returned to her family home in Dallas. In late March, she published her allegations against KUSA in Westword. "What Lori Lizarraga did took a lot of courage and bravery," the NAHJ's Chávez says, singling out Gutierrez and Aguirre for praise as well. "Journalism is an industry where a lot of people are mistreated, a lot of employees are mistreated, and discriminated against, and then people simply go quiet.

"For Lori to actually tell the world how bad the situation was, how bad she was being treated and how racist some of the management policies were, that takes real courage. She put her entire career in jeopardy."

In October, the Colorado ACLU will honor the three women for "fighting discrimination in the newsroom."

[blakegallo]

i didn't think i was gonna have to write one of these this week, but apparently i do. i'm gonna throw it under a cut bc i know it's gonna get long and ramble-y and touch on a lot of shit i've already touched on. so there's that.

i want to start with the reason i think s5 has been so horrible for me is the blackout. now not even what we got with the blackout, but i think bc we knew so little of it it really put a lot of speculation on my radar that was never there previously. so if this level of spec has always happened, i had been blissfully unaware. aside from maybe the eddieana breakup every other fan theory i saw wasn't even close to something that happened on the show. but what i have seen is a doubling down every week [ or at least up until we finally got that synopsis for wrapped in red ] for how the buddie long con was actually still going to be revealed, despite what was happening every week in the show.

i've also seen a level of making every other character's storyline about the buddie long con in a way that is just... do we watch the same show? any time some other character has a moment to themselves i've seen it added into meta and analysis about how it plays into the long con... and that' just... that actually doesn't make sense just all on its own.

in these posts are always discussions, disclaimers, about trusting the writers, but that feels pretty at odds with how quick the fandom is to tear down things that the writers are including. now i don't think that everyone on the planet earth is going to ship bucktaylor. i'm fine with that... but if people can take sonia's miracle moment in broken and make it a buddie longing glance or buck being in awe of two men dying together they were so in love and make it about how he looks at eddie [ something i knwo i've done in sets and have seen other creators do ], then i would think we can look at how he's actually fighting to be with a woman he not only demonstrates he loves but admits to loving and is happy to do so?? call me crazy, i think it might just back a lick of sense...

and what doesn't make sense is how this is all just the long con, buck's flying halfway across the country to be with her so that eddie can spend 5b pining after him, broken and hopeless. or that the christopher/eddie discord in wrapped in red is about buck dating taylor when that's been something that's happening for months. or how taylor would suddenly be against eddie and/or christopher being in buck's life and making a big deal out of it because she's already said that she knows how important they are. she's the one that told buck his life was nothing but meaningful relationships. that's a taylor kelly quote???? the fandom's obsession with painting taylor kelly as this evil woman that's going to hurricane through buck's life and ruin everything is just, so at odds with how the show has portrayed her? as a viewer if you want to be stuck in the parking lot at the end of dosed that's fine, but between buck actually and literally every other appearance she has made on the show you cannot point to a time where any character has had an issue with buck seeing her, or thought she was going to use any of them for anything. IN FACT the last time one of them was trying to use the other, it was buck... and both of them have clearly moved on from that.

i also really want to talk about the fandom's idea that buck and eddie talk about the hard shit. because i think the writers took a lot of shortcuts with this relationship, the fandom filled in a lot of the holes and now expect the fanon to be reflected.

now i'm not going to say that buck/eddie aren't important to each other, because that much is clear and is supported.

what isn't is this idea they talk about the hard shit. i'd argue that post tsunami it's the closest they get. it's still a lot of light teasing from eddie, but we do get him telling buck there's no one else he trusts with christopher, which is seemingly only because buck spent all day trying to find him bc they only have a handful of moments together in s2 where they have a pretty average friendship. then they have the kitchen scene post lawsuit... where eddie simply deflects a lot of that and buck attempts again to apologizes for how he handled things. despite being in the right, bobby did treat him differently, blood thinners or no. i feel like if you want to file a suit, file the suit.... and then the will.

the fucking will, that the writers never should have given the fandom bc y'all took that shit and ran to high heaven with it. again, it was the closest time that eddie's getting to matching the emotional vulnerability of buck in the friendship. i also just want to say that all eddie did in that moment was make buck a legal god parent. an adult figure in a child's life does not equal that child having a parental role. if you wanted to make a parallel to how buck hangs out with chris to how bobby was with may/harry in s2 then i guess you could, but that would be important to note that even there bobby was saying he was not a parent, not even a step parent, like athena said he was just fun friend bobby. regardless, christopher seeing buck as an adult he can trust also does not a parental figure make... and no one would ever break up with someone because the person they're dating is the god parent to their friend's kid? being a god parent is a pretty average thing in the world, and the fact that the show would have to kill off eddie for it to even be something to worry about would be the stupidest motivating factor to a break up and so to see it continued in theory after theory just gives the impression of grasping at straws and not at canon.

i also want to briefly talk about bobby's little speech in 509 to buck about his previous relationship. because i can see how it echoes what that old man told buck in buck actually, again, the same episode where taylor was the party not ready to commit to buck and now they are in a place where they are both ready and actually doing the work to show that they're ready. but his piece about going along to get along i think only fits with ali. with abby, yeah, he stumbled into that, but watching s1 again a few days ago i think you can really see him working to make that into something it was just never going to be, bc for five episodes he and abby weren't on the same page and after that fifth episode connie britton was already three seconds from leaving. ali, though, when you watch buck actually again, definitely feels like the rebound girl. it's even more clear when she doesn't actually show up in the show again until buck is moving into the loft and she's breaking up with him, and the only time anyone calls her his girlfriend i'm pretty sure it's the 118 when they're teasing him on a call/in the truck. bc they definitely go out of their way not to label themselves in front of the real estate agent. so i think it's true that in the limited relationships we've seen from buck he falls into them, and her certainly didn't do the work with abby and he hadn't here, this was a key change for buck.

and even if bucktaylor magically disappears in the future, that was a development for buck.. not for a ship.

just like not everything that ever happens to eddie is about buck. or for a ship. it can be about eddie...

but i have dumped enough thoughts into the universe for now. i retain the right to amend these thoughts with additional text posts at a later time if i so choose.

[dangan-happy]

( "Mr. Togami, I am politely asking you for the three digits on the back of your credit card." )

TW: medication, anxiety

To Nagito, Ibuki and Sonia

I just got home from my first day back at school. I started a new medication about two weeks ago that's supposed to help me focus, and it seems to be working! I didn't draw during class and I paid attention, my notes are organized and overall I think I did good!

The classroom was almost full, and I saw a lot of new people. There was a girl I thought looked really cool and I wanted to talk to her, but I can't approach her. I've always been anxious and scared of being around large groups of people or just people I don't know, but it used to be manageable and mostly just an uncomfortable feeling. I think I must've gotten used to being home and only seeing a few people everyday, because it was really bad today. I was just nervous in class but when it was time for our 15 minute break everyone started coming and talking and I was walking behind my friends but other people approached and wanted to talk to them and everything was so loud and it felt crowded. I tried going in the bathroom because that's where I usually hide when I'm not feeling well to calm down but it was full too and then I started panicking. I ran to the counselor's office and she let me stay there by myself. The counselor is very nice, I really like her a lot. When I came back for class Hannah asked me where I'd gone and I was still pretty shaken up and I couldn't really get myself to speak, so I took a paper and wrote something simple on it. It was harder than I expected to figure out what to write quick and she was trying to get my attention and I was getting scared she would think I was ignoring her, but then I showed her the paper and she immediately offered comfort. Hannah is always kind when she's speaking to me but she put her hands on my shoulders and spoke softly, and she told me she was there for me if I needed her. It was a little overwhelming and I almost cried. I've never had a friend like her before. The only other friend I have who shows concern over how I'm feeling is kind of like me and doesn't know how to be comforting, so it's still a little odd for me to have someone who both cares and is good at doing that. Hanah is very precious to me.

When it was time to leave, I got anxious again because everyone was crowded and going to the same place. I was trying to walk fast to get out as soon as possible but everyone in front of me was walking so slow and I was getting antsy, and then the coordinator called me and I got scared and he jokingly said something about how I didn't greet him but it made me more uneasy. I just wanted to get out. I managed to kind of squirm my way to the exit and met up with Hannah outside, she asked if I was okay and let me hug her before leaving. She said that I could stay with her tomorrow, and that they (her and our other friends, I'm still sorta new to the group) hang out somewhere mostly isolated but that if I was still anxious we could all go to the library, where it's quiet and no one else really goes. It might be scary again, but I just have to get used to it and then it'll be fine. Plus, Hannah and the counselor are here for me and the school even allowed me to stay alone in class or in the office during breaks when I need to!

Wow, medication really is something, glad that it’s helping you though!!!! That’s super awesome to hear, Ibuki is glad to know that you paid attention, always a good sign! 

Ibuki is super happy to hear that you’re doing great, it’s always nice to have someone with you.. You get 2 people free of charge, well, make that 3! Because you’ve got Ibuki as well! Ibuki will always be here just like Hannah & your counselor. That much she can promise you, hey hey, we can even have a concert! Oh, Ibuki can play her music for you! WAIT. THAT SOUNDS SUPER COOL, LET’S DO THAT!!!!

-

Hello again, you seem full of energy. More than when you first spoke to us. I’m glad to hear that the medication is working, I know it may seem like a pain to take medication here and there. But the good news is, it’s helping you as it should. 

It’s good to know that you have people there for you, but don’t be afraid to reach out back here if you ever feel like you can’t confide in them for whatever reason. All the ultimates here are helpful and wonderful. Well, there are a few that...aren’t. Regardless, those despair filled people have nothing on the shining hope that rests within us all. And the same goes with you Anon, I know you have that bright hope inside you, I can’t wait to see where it leads you.