#I never should have stopped tbh no matter how stupid it got

[babisawyer]

Dean angrily asking "haven't you ever read the bible?" like make me want your ass more I dare you.

[joontroverted]

hate the way you smile

bully! baji keisuke x popular girl reader

fandom : tokyo revengers

word count : 5.5k

tags : he is a bully (only to you tbh), dubcon, panty kink, he gives you a wedgie lol, pussy eating, anal fingering (just a bit), exhibitionism, groping, stalking (kinda), they are in school for the only purpose of them wearing uniforms, but I've been kinda vague about that because I hate writing high school aus, so you can def imagine them to be in college, all characters are 18+ only

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, IF THESE TAGS DO NOT SUIT YOU, SCROLL

you're not a loser.

quite the contrary actually, you're very popular. 

you joined the school pretty late, which itself was not very common, causing everyone to ogle at you. and judging from the way they treat you, they liked what they saw.

your features and mannerisms captivated everyone, right from the way you walked into class to the little smile you gave after the introduction the teacher forced you into doing. that would've been called cringe on anyone else, but you pulled it off.

keisuke has been waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never does. 

yeah yeah, you were the shiny new thing when you first walked in. and then you got most of your answers correct in class, no matter when the teacher called on you. most of the answers, that is, because when you got an answer wrong and the teacher corrected you, keisuke finally felt vindicated. that would be the start of the chipping of your bright exterior. 

but no. instead you snorted (and God even your snort was cute) and rolled your eyes, muttering stupid before smacking yourself on the side of the head with the tip of your pencil. that had the class giggling, causing even the teacher to smile as she continued with the rest of the topic. 

what the hell? what was even funny about all this? 

(he watched you tuck your hair behind your ear, with a little lopsided smile on your face as you suddenly realized the rest of the class had heard you. you fanned yourself as if that would blow the embarrassment away somehow, and for just a second your eyes flitted up to his. he turned away immediately.)

"what do you think of the new girl."

“huh?” says mikey stupidly, his eyes trained on takemichi of all people. keisuke shares a look with draken, deciding to get to the bottom of whatever that is, later.

“she has a name, you know,” says draken, stretching, as the three of them are spread out on the bleachers. 

“what, d’you like her or something?”

“very funny,” he replies, rolling his eyes at keisuke. “emma thinks she's really pretty, and you know emma. she immediately went up to her and started chattering away and the next thing you know they have a bubble tea date planned. i think she even dragged takemichi's girl into it.”

“i don't think they're dating,” mikey’s head whips around, finally decided to acknowledge the two of them.

“they hold hands all the time!”

“did both of them come and tell you word for word that they're dating?” says mikey seriously. 

keisuke and draken exchange another incredulous look.

“yeah, that's what i thought” says mikey victoriously. he turns to keisuke. “do you like her?”

“who the hell are we even talking about anymore?”

“the new girl, keisuke, god, how can you forget what you were talking about so quickly?”

“tch. there's nothing to like about her. gave me something to laugh at with that stupid little introduction she gave us on her first day, but she's just another girl. i don't know why everyone's so obsessed with her.”

“she gave me some of her lunch when she saw me sniffing her,” says mikey unhelpfully. “people should start doing that more.”

“you should stop sniffing people,” replies draken, disgusted.

“guess what she smells like!”

“like cocoa butter on some days and like flowers on others,” blurts out keisuke. 

both mikey and draken turn their heads to keisuke.

“that's what all girls smell like, what the fuck!” he retaliates, looking away, his face burning.

“emma doesn't.”

“yeah, and neither does hina. or takemichi,” drawls mikey, squinting at him. “and you're right. she does smell like cocoa butter. i don't know about flowers. but then again, i’m not the one obsessed with her.”

“i'm not obsessed with her!” hisses keisuke. “and keep your voice down, will you, i’m sure the rest of the world heard you!”

“mikey! draken!” a voice calls from the field in front of them. 

they all turn to see it's you, in your skorts and top, visor in one hand and racquet in the other. the skorts (who the hell came up with that mopey idea) seem to hug your waist just right, the shortness of them making your legs look longer. your top is sticking to your skin from all the sweat you had built up from the match you just had, the white becoming almost see through, and he wonders how you’re either actually goddamn stupid or that desperate for attention for you to wear a red bra underneath it.

you wave at them enthusiastically, and you're close enough to them for him to see your eyes land on him, and you give him a little wave too.

mikey and draken wave back. keisuke rolls his eyes and looks away. “fucking of course she plays tennis, how pretentious,” he mutters.

“how come the girl you're obsessed with doesn't give a fuck about you?” snickers mikey as you walk away, surrounded by your group of girls, chattering and laughing. 

“i'm not obsessed with her first of all, and second of all, we don't even know each other because i’m not a serial sniffer like you.”

“maybe you should be,” sniffs mikey, “‘cuz guess what i smell right now?”

“shut the- ”

“a boy in looove,” sing mikey and draken together, bursting into laughter.

walking home, the more he thinks about your tennis uniform, the more he's pissed off. that wouldn't be a regular bra now, would it? probably a sports bra. he imagines you peeling off the tight top in the locker rooms, laughing with the other girls. how the sweat makes it a bit harder to tug off the bra, causing you to flail around a bit, before it comes off fully. he thinks about you basking in the freedom from it for a bit, chest heaving from all the exertion of the game, nipples hardened from the sudden exposure. 

he imagines you bend over and tug off the skorts you were wearing, wondering what panties you had on. would they be red, like your bra? you seem like a stuck up bitch who would make sure of stupid things like that. judging from how snugly the skorts had fit you, your panties would probably be digging into your soft skin, wouldn't they? were your panties riding up your pussy? the thought is quickly followed by the image of tight, red panties wedged up your pussy, he could almost hear you whine as you pulled them down and off of you. he didn't even have to imagine the rest before he broke off into a run to his home so he had some material left to finish himself off.

bad thoughts. these are bad thoughts that are too raunchy and precious for someone as annoying as you. 

(to his utter irritation, it's the small smile you had on your face when you waved at him that pushed him over the edge at the end.)

you're not a loser.

so fuck knows why you're so hellbent on doing the project exactly the way you wanted to, with absolutely no room for creative liberties, no changes in font, and every single time keisuke suggested something he could see you typing up a storm on the group chat. he made sure to see the message, but not read it and then be conveniently offline for the rest of the day. he was sure you would resort to calling him to beg him to not deviate from the color pallete you (and you alone) had decided on. obviously everyone else nodded and went along with your decision. but you hadn't called. 

so here you are, trailing after him. 

“keisuke!”

he groans and keeps walking down the hallway.

“keisuke! i just wanted to let you know that i know it feels like i'm being so restrictive, but all these rules are just for the presentation, like the ppt!” you dodge a couple walking hand in hand and you turn around and wave at them. “you guys are so cute! anyways, keisuke, you have complete freedom over what you want to say during your part of the presentation!”

“ha, so can i talk about my favorite kpop star while the rest of you are talking about the american involvement in the korean war? thanks!” he snorts, striding away.

“i didn't mean whatever you want, i meant you can speak about your portion however you want! the format we've decided on is just for the ppt!” you hurry around a sharp corner he took, still following him.

“we didn't decide anything. you chose the topic, and you chose the format of the ppt,” he grits out.

“well, when we were going around suggesting ideas, everyone seemed to like mine, so they went with it. and you weren't even in the meet!”

he grunts. that was true.

you open your mouth to say something and someone’s calling your name, so you turn around to respond to them. by the time you turn back he's gone again.

“fuck! fuck!” you mutter, adjusting your tote bag over your shoulder. God, he is so irritating. him and how serious he always is about treating you like shit but never taking it all the way. you always feel the prick of his eyes staring at you, and initially you always turned to smile or talk to him, but he'd just look away and outwardly ignore you. 

you had taken to staring back at him, in hopes of him at least taking it as a sign to leave you alone but that hadn't worked either. 

instead, now you know how his silky hair slinks to the front of his face as time passes during classes, and how he absentmindedly gnaws on his pens with his canine teeth. you know how he actually prefers putting his hair up in a high ponytail rather than a low one on the few occasions that he does tie his hair. you know he's actually studying when he’s wearing his red reading glasses. he takes his blazer off often and he's rather ripped, and you're embarrassed to say that you might've asked around why. your classmates said he has a black belt and used to beat people up for fun. 

you can't figure out if that's a joke or not. 

you don’t care that he ignores you, you have enough friends and more than enough people who would pay attention to you. but it kept building and building. everyone said he was a quiet but nice guy. was rowdy when he was younger, but mellowed down and began to focus on school a bit more. you would love to see that side of him, especially now in the crux of the group project. he still had a wild side to him apparently and everyone knew not to mess with him and his loyal set of goons kazutora and chifuyu (who is quite the loser himself), but you'd had just about enough today. you had messaged him that you would like to talk when classes ended, and clearly he didn't give a fuck. 

one last attempt, you promise. one last attempt and then you can boot him off of the project and be at peace again.

remember when you couldn't figure out if they were lying about baji keisuke being a bully or not? well, you're about to find out, because while you're digging through your bag for your history project folder, you don't see the foot sticking out right around the corner you turn.

one minute you're walking on solid ground, the next minute you're in the air and crashing down on it.

your bag provides no security at all, all the books, your cute stationery, the folder, your sanitizer, lip gloss, and all the little trinkets clatter onto the floor, spreading out onto the empty hallway. 

you look up to see golden eyes, framed by dark silky hair staring down at you. 

“what the fuck?” anger rolls through you. “what the fuck, baji?”

“oh, so it's baji now, is it? it was keisuke! keisuke! just a second ago!” he mimics your voice with a laugh.

you're still on your knees on the floor. you look around, and the school is empty, even the last of the people remaining would be downstairs in the cafeteria. 

“lookin’ for all your admirers?” he sneers, bending down to pick up one of your keychains. 

“what do you want from me?” you ask, reaching up to take it from him, but he snatches his hand back. “give it back!”

“you don't have to worry about this,” he says cooly, watching you try to gather all your stuff. you're on all fours, grabbing your things. you're getting nowhere ultimately, everything is far too spread out.

keisuke watches as your skirt hikes higher and higher up, teasing him with little glimpses at your white panties. was that lace on the sides? keisuke almost falls to his knees just from that, as you continue being a stupid slut so obliviously.

“get up!” he snaps and hauls you up with a firm grip on your bicep. “i told you not to worry about that!”

“oh yeah?” you ask, turning to him, your voice raising. “i would love to not worry about this, considering i was just minding my own business! i would love to not worry about the group project but you don't give a fuck!”

he raises his eyebrows, watching you go off on him. you get closer and closer to him, and start pushing him in his chest. “i'd at least like to have a conversation with you, but no, you're such a fucking asshole that you'd rather just stare at me resentfully like a creep instead of actually come up to me and talk to me! but i get it you know, i'd also be so full of hate if i was made to repeat a year but still remained as stupid as i was when i failed!” 

the silence that follows is palpable. 

you don't stand down. for once, there isn't a spec of your usual sweetness or benefit of doubt. you are glaring at him, looking right into his eyes, daring him to respond. 

“so you've been asking around about me, huh?”

“that's rich coming from you. if i see you stare at me one more time, or blatantly ignore me, or disrespect me again, i'll gouge your fucking eyes out!” you hiss, pushing him one final time. you turn around and once again bend over to start collecting your things.

“stop.”

“you are not allowed to- “

“i'll leave you alone if you do this.”

that makes you turn back to him. hurts a lil bit to see you only listen to him so he'd leave you alone, but he’d brought this upon himself. “what do you want,” you spit. 

he stares at you for a moment. you wonder if he's just gonna burst out laughing at how you deluded yourself into thinking that he'd leave you alone, right after he knocked you to the ground like that. his hair's out of his ponytail and his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek, his fangs flashing at you. 

he tilts his head to the side, and gives you a lazy grin. his eyes however, remain serious and trained on you.

“show me your panties.”

you balk, your anger dimming, replaced with confusion. “what?”

he looks serious as ever. he leans forward into your personal space, his hair almost brushing yours. “show me your panties,” he says slowly, as if he were talking to someone stupid, “and i'll consider leaving you alone.”

“con- consider? you told me you'd leave me alone!”

“depends. yes or no?”

“no! no! obviously no!” you're completely flushed, and you try pulling the hem of your skirt down defensively, wishing you hadn't snuck off to the bathroom to roll it up an inch before you came out to talk to him. “i'm not gonna show you my panties!”

he looks at you with a sort of bored but also amused look in his face. 

“do you seriously think i haven't noticed that your skirt's shorter now than it was in class?” he flips the tuck of your shirt up, “ah, there it is. you've rolled your skirt up just to come talk to me.”

“no… no!” you sputter, all the fight in you bleeding out from embarrassment. “i didn't, and i didn't do it for you!”

“i know you want my attention anyways. so let me be clear. either you show me your panties, which seems like you wanted to do that anyways, or i make you show me your panties.” he smiles, so simply and easily as if he's discussing what to get for lunch. “as simple as that.”

you snort. “you're gonna make me show you my panties? and how's that gonna work?” 

he laughs. “easily.”

you shouldn't have asked that, you think. keisuke pushes off the wall he's been leaning on and walks towards you. you walk back, unsure of what to do, your eyes never leaving each others, yours wide in shock and his sharp like a snake. your back hits the wall, and now you've got nowhere to go. 

“like this,” he whispers, and tugs you forward a bit by your belt loops. he then reaches forward, peering above your shoulder, and you stupidly lean forward almost on instinct. his silky hair brushes against your cheek, and for a second, you're lost in the sensation of that and the next moment, you feel his fingers fiddle with the back of waistband of your skirt, untucking it. 

“you tuck your shirt into your panties, huh?” he murmurs, “you're really such a loser.”

“what are you do- ah!”

his fingers are on the waistband of your panties now. and he pulls. the fabric gets pulled up from the back and digs into your ass from his tug. embarrassment floods your body from how humiliating this is, but also from how disgustingly wet you feel yourself getting.

“keisuke! keisuke, please!” you whisper, turning to look at him, but he's still looking over your shoulder. there's no way to conceal his view, because not only is he taller than you but also he can see down into your skirt.

“ah, there she is,” he mutters. another tug. “i don't know why you didn't want me to see ‘em. well, i already did see a bit of them when you were sprawled on the floor on all fours looking helpless, but you can't expect me to be satisfied just from that.”

“keisuke, please, stop it!” you squeal, ears hot. you can't believe he's basically giving you a wedgie, his fingers are in your panties and your out in public, more or less.

“all right then.” your panties snap back in place, stinging a bit. he pushes away a step, hands up. “run along then, little loser.”

you stand still head down, with a humiliating feeling settling in you. you don't want to leave.

he watches you not make a single move to your fallen bag or even to run away. 

“fuck, i knew there was something weird about you! i knew you weren't this sweet little popular preppy princess everyone makes you out to be!” he laughs, his deep voice echoing down the empty hallway. “you're a nasty little whore, aren't you?”

“m'not a nasty whore!” you whine, “i just- “

“fuck am i gonna have my way with you,” he whistles. “i was being polite earlier. turn around.”

“why- “

“talk all you like whore, but i better see you listening to what i say,” he cuts you off. He takes off his blazer, dropping it to the ground and folding his arms. “turn around.”

you turn around, with an inkling of what he's going to do. you stare at the lockers in front you and bite your lip.

“hands on the lockers.”

“what are you go- “

he lifts up your skirt and tucks it deep into the waistband, leaving you panty clad ass completely exposed. the cool air hitting you there directly makes you clench involuntarily and he almost moans from how cute and innocent that looks. he's finally got a good look at your panties. white, fitted cotton panties with a lace trim. it's ridiculous how simple it and how much it manages to choke him up. the back of the panties are still a bit yanked up from where he had pulled earlier, and you're clearly dying from embarrassment based on how low you're holding your head.

well, there's no time to waste.

he grabs onto the waistband at the back of your panties and pulls. the material disappears into your cheeks, digging up and up and up as he pulls, and you almost lose balance from the force of it. “keisuke!” you gasp, your hand coming back for some support. “i- “

“are you stupid?” he snarls, tugging up once more, causing you to jump from how mean he sounds, “or are your hands on the lockers?"

your hands are immediately on the lockers. 

“good girl,” he mutters, “goood girl.” he pulls more and more on your poor panties, and they're crudely rubbing against your hole. your feet almost leave the ground with ever tug he gives, causing you to bounce. you're almost dead with humiliation, but the grinding against your clit and the embarrassment of the whole situation has you so flustered and wrecked.

“i hate you, i hate you, i hate you, keisuke!”

he's so focused on your hot your ass looks, clenched around your panties like that, soft cheeks being put through such torture, and he can't imagine how your puckered little hole must feel from all the abuse it's taking. makes him wanna kiss it better. 

“what is it? you don't like being treated like the little loser you are, huh?” he croons into your ear. ���is this not princess treatment enough for you?”

he lets you go all of a sudden, and you almost crumple to your knees, but he catches you and hauls you up, turning you towards him. 

“you havin fun?” he taunts, towering over you. 

“fuck off! you're so mean!” you sniffle, trying to pull your panties down.

“ah ah,” he says sternly, smacking your hands away. “none of that. i'm not done with you. boys!”

the door of the classroom next to you is kicked open and you see kazutora and chifuyu walk out, who follow keisuke like shadows and drank up every word he said loyally.

you glare at keisuke, who has both your wrists in a firm grip in just one hand of his. he grins at them. “told ya she's a slut.”

kazutora snickers, but your eyes remain on chifuyu. he's on the fucking math team with you! you glare holes into his eyes as he looks your way, and his cheeks turn pink, either because it's nerd recognizes nerd or it's because your skirt is tucked all the way up with your entire ass and panties exposed.

keisuke's attention is back on you as he lifts your wrists above your head, pinning them to the lockers behind you. you try to fight him, but it's fruitless. he then tucks the front of your skirt into your waistband too, leaving the front of your panties exposed too.

your panties have a little heart stitched onto the front, your pubic hair peeking out from the lace on the leg holes. 

“now, isn’t she a pretty baby,” keisuke laughs to himself, as your heart flutters a little from that praise. “hold her up for me, boys.”

“what do you mean hold me up?”

kazutora and chifuyu position themselves on either side of you and hold on the sides of your underwear. “chifuyu!” you gasp, turning to look at the boy, who refuses to make eye contact with you, but does what his supreme leader says anyways.

“hey!” keisuke snaps his fingers in front of your face. “you don't focus on anyone but me, kay?”

you narrow your eyes.

he squishes both your cheeks with one hand, making your lips pucker out. “answer.”

“okay, okay,” you whimper, breaking eye contact. 

“eyes on me, sweetheart. i'm gonna let go your hands now. if you try anything, you're gonna find out cute you look with a smack on your face, got it?”

your eyes turn watery as you look into his, lips pushing into a pout. “got it,” you mutter.

“there's my girl. now let's see what we have here.” and with that he sinks to his knees, till he's face level with your panties. he places his big hands on the outside of either thigh, running them up and down for a moment, sending shivers up your spine. he grips your thighs and watches his nails sink into your fatty flesh, and how you gasp at the pain that feels so good.

he leans forward and places a kiss on your mound, and then goes lower and places another firm kiss on your clit. the little whimper you give spurs him on. he pushes his nose between your lips and sniffs, groaning to himself. 

“fuck that's good pussy,” he presses his nose alone the slit and goes up and up until it meets your clit and he presses down as his lips comes up to rub your pussy through your panties. his nose rubbing on your clit has you moaning, as if there aren't two of your classmates holding you up by your panties, your legs weak. 

“gimme those hands,” he demands, his voice rough. you place your hands in his gingerly. he places a gentle kiss on both of them, so uncharacteristic to the situation you are in, and how he's been treating you. “i'm gonna give you a very important job, got it?”

“uh huh,” you whisper.

“you're gonna hold my hair up while i eat your pussy through your panties, okay? i don't wanna be missing a moment of it because of my hair getting in the way”

you almost short circuit. you stare at him dumbly, and are brought back to the moment when he places a sharp right onto your pussy lips.

“yes! yes!” you nod, and with your painted pink nails, you gently push back his hair and hold it in a ponytail. “this okay?”

he nods, and gives you a little wink. you gulp and look away.

“all right, we're back to business,” he mutters, going back down to your pussy. “hold ‘em higher for me.”

kazutora and chifuyu (whom you'd almost forgotten about from the previously somewhat sweet moment) pull your panties higher from the sides, making you gasp as they dig into your pussy this time.

keisuin prods and pushes at your pussy lips. he pushes the leg holes of your panties closer and closer together, little by little before he yanks on the top your panties suddenly, causing them to slip between your lips and tug up to your clit.

“ah! keisuke! that's really- “

“c'mon boys hold her higher for me, will ya? i don't mind if your bounce her for me. pussy's so wet just from all this panty action, let’s see how sensitive her little clit is, huh?”

he's talking over you like you're some thing. the boys pull you higher this time, and you can't help but marvel at the strenth of your panties for a hot second before bliss shoots up your body as the crotch of your panties rub against your clit, and you're finally getting some good direct action. 

keisuke watches the wet spot in your panties grow bigger and bigger as your panties dig deeper into your clit, your fat pussy lips hang out from either side of the thin bunched up material and your knees knock together from how horny you are and how desperately you're trying to squeeze for more friction. all while you diligently hold his hair back. even in this debauched state, you're adorable. his dick is straining against his pants, he unbuckles them and frees himself, his mouth watering as he dives right in.

panties riding up to the maximum level, he laps up against them, tasting your juices. he spreads your lips even further, making sure there's no room whatsoever for you to escape and you whine and kick. his eyes almost roll back to his skull and his soul ascends when his tongue comes in contact with the slick and gummy insides of your pussy, clenching around both him and your panties. he's growing jealous of your panties now.

“change of plans,” he says, gruffly, “hold her up by her legs, and if you drop her, i swear to god, you're dead.”

chifuyu and kazutora are quick to follow, as they each take one leg and lift you up, holding you open and ready for keisuke, but this time with your entire pussy directly facing him. you wail at the sudden change, but to no one's surprise you're ignored.

keisuke pushes your panties to the side and can finally see your pussy in all it's glory. your cute little bush and your gaping pussy from all the edging it has taken a minute ago. he rolls his saliva around in his tongue and then spits a glob of his spit right onto your pussy. you clench at the feel of how lewd it is, the warm, thick saliva coating your vagina and sliding down, dripping from your asshole. it's disgusting, but it feels so good. 

he pushes his entire face in, slurping and swallowing all you have to offer. you're glad that the two are holding you up, because you're too fucked out to even feel the tips of your toes, let alone stand. through all this, you make sure to hold his hair back, because you don't want him to be mad at you.

a finger presses on your asshole and you quiver with shock, snapping out of your daze. “kei- kei, keisuke, not there, not!”

you babble stupidly, passed the point of coherence, as keisuke lets you bounce a little on his fingertip dipping in and out of your puckered little hole, while he slurps up your perfect little pussy, sucking and flicking your clit. 

“‘m gonna cum! ‘m gonna cum!” you sob, kicking your feet a bit, like the spoiled little thing you are. 

“cum baby. i've got you,” he mutters, as he reaches up one hand to give your tits a hard squeeze. that's the final straw for you, as you finally let go, nipples aching, pussy tingling and asshole prodded open. you come on his mouth and he eagerly drinks up every last drop, jerking himself faster and faster. 

“bring her down,” he groans, and the lower you down to the floor, still holding you and keeping you spread. you look up him, your mouth agape as you watch him fist himself and push himself to the edge, cumming all over your face. at first you're taken aback, but then you just sink into the feeling of the hot cum drizzling all over your face dripping down… it almost feel therapeutic.

god. you really are a whore. and a loser.

you sigh. 

“oi, go pick her stuff up, and put it in her bag. nicely, like in however cute way she usually does it.”

you're gently set on the ground, on your hands and knees, shaking slightly. you see kazutora and chifuyu walk away and start gathering your stuff up off of the floor. keisuke kneels down to you, pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket. he pushes you slightly onto your knees and wipes the cum off of your face so gently and so sweetly, you could've mistaken it for your sweetheart wiping your wet face after a running home on a rainy day.

“you okay?” he asks.

you blink. “are you happy?”

“huh?”

“are you happy that you finally got to debase me and see me as a person and not some shiny new thing?”

“to be honest, you were a shiny thing till i wiped all the shininess away right now.”

you smack him on his chest with the back of your hand.

“i'm sorry,” he says looking into your eyes. “i just… um. have a crush on you that was so overwhelming that i wanted to, well, debase you,” he mutters. 

you laugh, and scratch your face. “whoa, i totally had no clue whatsoever.”

“is your face still sticky? tora, she has some wet wipes in her bags, toss ‘em over.” the wet wipes fly into his hands, and he pulls one out, wads it up and starts cleaning you up again. 

“how did you know i have wet wipes in my bag?”

“maybe i’ve looked through it before. maybe i haven't, who knows?” he shrugs, not looking at you, suddenly extremely concentrated on the area near your eye. 

“when did you even- ”

“i might also have memorized your schedule, and all the classes you take. oh, and i also need your panties from today.”

he gets a slap in the face for that.

this was 2.5k words longer than it was supposed to be. i'd love to hear what you think of it 😇

likes, comments, asks and reblogs HIGHLY APPRECIATED ❤️

read my other tokyo revengers fic!

kiss it better (ran haitani)

dividers by the super creative @anitalenia you can tell, I'm kinda obsessed 🌟

[lagerloutfic]

a tough as balls year for little old me, but as the old proverb goes, no matter the horrors there is always ao3 in bed. writing and reading.

doubled down on my love for hockey and feel like i understood the game better, imbued more of the narratives, and discovered more players to be stupid about.

stopped trying to fight being an f1 girlie and threw myself in head first. what a gorge little community of freaks (affectionate) who like to watch the zoom zoom.

here are some things i wrote. not sure if i love them all, but they were all glorious distractions and so i'm hopelessly fond. not a single word could have happened without @crunchycrispy, the eternal muse.

hockey stuff

🐶 got that dog in him | E | 7.1k | the connor mcdog fic haha...oh boy. the good news is i am not alone in thinking how much connor looks like bowie and the bad news is, we're all going to hell. despite living in fear someone is going to cancel me for bestiality, i loved writing connor/bowie pov and imagining my life as a pampered little pooch, beloved by all. on my wishlist for 2025, tbh.

💦 warm ride | E | 2.3k & wrap me round your wedding ring | E | 6.8k | William Nylander/John Tavares | eurosleaze 4 DILF captain shame writing willy is a true joy, thoroughly recommend everyone have a turn. this was darker that i usually go because i don't like to hurt my own feelings but i'm happy with how wet and pathetic JT turned out and the whole structure of part 2. 😈 love drunk off this hump | E | 8k | Frederik Andersen/Auston Matthews | the gang's all here and they are fucking idiots this might have been the most fun thing i wrote this year? just good vibes, silly times, a thrilling ensemble of dickheads being stupid hockey bros. everyone should jerk off with the homies, the thesis.

🥛 no use crying | E | 38.6K | Brock Boeser/William Nylander | milk bar fic sex-worker AU ummmm, look. i just wanted to write boys with big milk jugs. do these fellas know each other? no. does the world make sense? nah. did i have a fun time, YES.

🦷 different kind of buzz | E | 3.5k | Macklin Celebrini/Will Smith | | pain, teeth & horny 4 hockey | those fucking rookies, goddamn actually can't believe we are witnessing the birth of a new pairing right under our noses, but it's happening. we are living in the historical moment! thank you to all the sickos who are writing willmack, posting the content, thinking the thoughts. the real MVP of this season, along with @fast-burn for making it spesh.

🏒 let's call this the playoff hockey coping strategy collection 🏒

absolutely bonkers time where i dealt with playoff hockey through fanfiction. actually do not remember half of these, so that's cool.

say it, say it again | E | 4.1k | Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid | soft dick fic.

but close ain't close enough | E | 6.3k | Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid | get your captain pregnant with help from your girl

go ahead and try a little crazy on me | E | 4k & don't you even try and explain | e | 12.1k | Leon Draisaitl/Arturs Silovs | winner's room goalie fucking | whomst among us was not enchanted by arty during that series? probably the most enjoyable voice to write, i do really want to write a part three where everyone gets freaky in spain so someone bully me until i do it.

better put that business to bed | E | 2.8k | Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid | voice kink

just the touch of your hand | E | 3.4k | Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid | McDepression and spanking

if i could make a wish | E | 2.8k | Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid | omg, MORE McDrepression?? Get a new theme, girl!

i'm gonna tell you right now, they're all i'm thinkin' about | E | 7k | Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid | you are never gonna believe there's a THIRD McDepression fic out there by moi. This time with a cute outfit!

🏎️ f1 stuff 🏎️

👀 unsafe release | E | 18.2k | Alex Albon/George Russell | when that childhood friend becomes hot and weird and scary it's your girls first f1 fic! started life as a quinn/petey fic lol okay who is she? this was HARD to write. new fandoms are tricky, there's so much to learn. but good to be sobbing into the google doc at a million am, it builds character etc etc

🌪️ a lasting advantage | E | 18.7k | Alex Albon/George Russell | okay but actually i wasn't done with these bitches more of the same, but with extra mental breakdowns and lashings of shame! buttsex, finally, and a beloved OC.

💬 hot rookie slagsss | M | 5.7k | Alex Albon/George Russell/Lando Norris | horndogs in the groupchat i just wanted to write something with dialogue so i didn't have to bother with all the bits in between and text is so fun for that. so fun to thrash this out with @latecomersprivilege and @ctimenefic. it takes a village, y'all.

flippin' hell. when it's all laid out like that it's really something. what's next? i literally have no idea! how fun! thanks to anyone who interacted with me this year, the likes and comments and stupidity keep the motor running. open mouthed kisses for all xx

[trensu]

have another snippet of stasis in darkness! just 'cuz i'm bored tbh, and kinda stuck on all my wips i'm currently working on.

The seventh night:

“Has he spoken to you yet?”

“How could he when you’re here yammering my ear off every night?”

“He’s a god, I’m sure it wouldn’t be that hard for him to shut me up.”

“Even gods have their limits.”

“Oh, har har. The warrior’s got jokes. You didn’t answer my question.”

“...not yet,” Steve said stiffly. 

“It’s been how long now? A week?” The man hummed in a falsely thoughtful manner. “Maybe he’s just not that into you, man. Maybe he’s letting you down easy.”

At his words, Steve involuntarily curled his shoulders inward, slightly, ever so slightly, in defense. He'd been wondering that same thing earlier that day. Steve had toiled hours in the sun to fix up the shrine; to make it welcoming; to encourage a divine visit. 

He had stopped wearing his armor to free up more time to work. Putting it on and taking it off took too long, and he didn't have to maintain it as much if he wasn't wearing it regularly. He stuck to only his chainmail. He'd kept his shield stored away, too, so it wouldn't get in the way while he worked. Though, he made sure to keep his sword nearby.

He’d taken his knife and traced over the etchings of stars in the alcove that served as a backdrop to the statue. His knife had been ruined but it didn't matter. The Lord of Night would probably want the stars of his dark sky with him, he reasoned, and these had worn so thin. Sadly, it was the only detail he could bring out of all the stone. The statue’s face was so crumbled that Steve couldn’t even begin to guess what it had originally looked like.

He had discovered that the vines he chose to keep were moonflowers. They had blossomed every night since he’d removed the other more invasive plants. He'd draped them carefully so they lay across the statue's shoulders, wrapped lovingly around its torso and clung to its waist before the ends of the vines trailed off at the knees. 

The strange man might have made himself a nuisance during his visits but he never stayed the whole night. Steve had been able to get a few hours of makeshift prayers at the shrine every night. He’d done all this, yet dawn broke every day without a single sign that the Lord of Night had been listening.

“Warrior?”

Steve broke out of his reverie. He refused to look at the man. He had to clear his throat roughly before he could speak.

“It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been rejected by someone I love." Steve tried not to dwell on his father's perpetual scowl and his mother's infinite disinterest. "I’m pretty used to my devotion being one sided by now.”

“That’s a bummer,” the man said. His sympathy was meant to be teasing, Steve could tell, but it came out surprisingly sincere. “Good thing you have a whole pantheon! Strong guy like you? Any god would take you to be their warrior in a heartbeat.”

“What are you talking about? No, I’m nowhere near done with his shrine,” Steve said determinedly. “I know a silversmith and a stone mason who’d give me a hand, and Dustin and Robin have been dying to come up here to bring him offerings. The only reason they didn’t come with me is because I had to do the pilgrimage on my own if I wanted a shot at earning his blessing.”

The man spluttered.

“Are you insane? A god rejects you and you’d come back? What kind of stupid–were you dropped on your head as a child?

“A couple times, but that doesn’t have anything to do with it.”

“Are you sure? Have you checked? You should go to one of the gods of medicine. Owens, maybe. Have him take a look at your head,” the man huffed in frustration. "For stars' sake, why would you want to come back?"

He ignored the insult to his intelligence. For stars' sake. Steve murmured the words to himself, letting them settle in his mouth to get a feel for them. He'd never heard of that one before. He liked how it rolled off the tongue, natural as anything. 

The man waited for his response. Steve took a moment to try to sort out his words. He kept his head bowed towards the shrine as he ruminated.

“People barely remember my god,” Steve finally said. “And when they do, they remember him as something he’s not. Even if he doesn’t believe I’m worthy of carrying his crest, he shouldn't be forgotten.” 

The man said nothing. Steve took a shuddering breath before the quiet could take over. 

“Having someone forget you is…it’s very lonely. Which is the worst feeling. I…I guess I don’t want him to be lonely anymore.”

The silence that followed his statement stretched long enough that Steve started falling into that meditative state he’d learned during his many nights at the shrine. It helped dull the twisted up, unsteady sensation that lingered from the man’s prodding at his every self-doubt and fear.

“He hasn’t rejected you yet, though,” the man broke Steve's musings awkwardly.

“He hasn’t reached out to me either. It’s fine. I’ll keep coming either way.”

Another silence. It was around the time the man usually left Steve to his worship. He didn't hear retreating footsteps. Instead, the man cleared his throat, and when Steve looked up at him, the man turned his face away, shrouding it in gloom.

“Maybe he’s nervous. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t contacted you yet.”

“Nervous? No way.”

“He sounds like a godly weirdo,” the man said. “Maybe he’s never had a holy warrior before and doesn’t know what to do.”

“He’s the good kind of weirdo! And there’s no way he’s not had a warrior carry his symbol. He must’ve had loads back in the day. I probably don’t meet his standards,” Steve smiled lopsidedly, playing off his insecurity.

“I’m serious!” the man exclaimed. “It’s possible! Some gods never get warriors. Some never want them at all!

“Look, even if I was the first to offer to be his, he’d know he didn’t have to be nervous,” Steve insisted. "I’ve never served a god before either! I wasn’t sure I could have faith at all until I learned about him. So like, if he’s new to it then so am I, and we’d figure it out together.”

“...you really mean that, don’t you? You’d let him make it up on the fly if he took you on.”

“Well, yeah,” Steve shrugged.

“You’d keep coming back even if he rejected you?”

“Yep.”

“But why? That’s so stupid. Nobody would do that!” The man sounded frustrated.

“I’m not really known for my smarts,” Steve said matter-of-factly. “Robin and Dustin had to translate the only book we found about the Lord of Night because I definitely wouldn't have been able to. It was a tiny book but it still took them ages to do because the language doesn’t really exist anymore. So they told me it’s possible it’s not accurate. It felt true, though, to me. 

“There was this quote, I can’t recite it word for word, but…it was something about how monsters don’t always look monstrous, and the monstrous aren’t always things to be feared.”

“That sounds ridiculous,” the man protested. Steve shook his head.

“No, it’s true! Like, I know I’ve got a pretty face and really great hair,” he smirked when he heard the man scoff, “but I was such a fucking asshole when I was younger. I went around hurting people on purpose, tearing them down for no reason other than I was hurting too, and that’s the shittiest reason to hurt anyone. I had to get some sense knocked into me by the people I call friends now. 

“My friends are the greatest people I know, and I’m really lucky to have them, but to everyone else? My friends are losers. They’re rejects because they don’t act right or they don’t look right; they talk too much or too loudly. People treat them like shit because they're different. 

“And after I noticed that, I started seeing it more even if I don’t always pick up on it. And I still mess up sometimes. I'm not a god, I can't change the world but…in the stories Robin and Dustin translated, the Lord of Night helped people like my friends because it was always the weak and rejected that try to hide themselves in the dark. I want to help those people find him again so they know they’ve got someone holy in their corner. They should know someone loves them enough to protect them.”

Steve didn’t really know where all those words came from; he wasn’t a wordsmith like Robin and Dustin. He always had a hard time verbalizing his thoughts, and he usually messed up the words. Nonetheless, these words had almost burned to be said. 

When the speech that flowed from him finally reached a natural end, he felt…lighter, cleaner. He felt like his shield and sword when they were polished to a shine. But when he turned to see his audience’s reaction, the man had gone. Steve felt strangely dejected instead.

–

The eighth night:

“Hey, it’s me again. My supplies are low and I don’t know what your thoughts about hunting on your land are so I’d rather not…I don’t want you to think I’m disrespecting you. I might have to leave soon to get more supplies,” Steve swallowed nervously. “Which isn’t an ult..ultimate…? No, damn, what is it called? I’m not trying to force you to talk to me before then, is what I mean. Not–not that I could! With you being a god.” 

Steve scoffed at his own blundering. He should’ve had Robin help him make speech notes. Cards with conversation starters. Something! He took a deep breath and tried again.

"But I'm coming back, I promise. I meant what I said about fixing up your shrine. I’ll commission a new plaque and I’ll talk to the stonemason about replacing your plinth. I don’t know a lot about sculpture, but I’ll get you the strongest type of stone and get something nice carved on it. Your flowers? Or cats? Cats are cute. Maybe your bats would be better���?” Steve trailed off.

It was quiet save for the faint rustle of leaves in the cool breeze. The full moon illuminated the area more than ever before. The shrine must have really been a beautiful sight back in its heyday. The thought of it sent a pang of longing through his soul.

The hour came that the strange man usually showed up. Steve steeled himself for another round of questions, another jab at his faith. The hour went by with Steve alone in the clearing. Steve frowned.

“Do you think he’s okay?” 

Steve’s question went unanswered.

After another hour without seeing his stranger, Steve had finally convinced himself to round the perimeter for a quick check in case the man was nearby or in need of assistance. When he found nothing, he checked again in case he missed something. 

Still nothing. Uneasily, Steve gave up his search and returned to the shrine. He knelt before it again, head bowed. He cleared his throat.

“Lord of Night, I don’t know his name, and I know he’s been rude–annoying–but could you please watch over the man? Please keep him safe from harm for as long as the stars shine tonight. Thank you.”

He received no response, but Steve had faith. He knew he was heard. He knew his god wouldn’t let an innocent come to harm if he could prevent it.

ps: i do not do those reader tag list things. if you’d like to keep up with my stuff, follow my writing tag: trensu tells stories

[imjustdreamingig]

Run Away

Part 2, Part 3

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Summary: You were never a shy person, until it came to talking to the boy you liked.

A/N: Well, this is my first time writing something like this so... please be nice. I was kinda tired of only seeing shy!reader stuff so I decided to base this on my personality. So yeah, kind of based on a true story. What reader does in this story I've actually done in real life which is mortifying. Anyways!!! This is just edited by me so lmk how I can improve and if I should write a part 2??? Maybe?? Idk. Enjoy!

PS: Robin and Steve work together, nothing monstery has happened, they're all in the same grade. It's a bunch of dumb teenagers together battling high school.

Warnings: sfw, cursing, fluff? people being dumb?? idk what else tbh

You've never considered yourself to be a shy person. In fact, you were very much so extroverted, never finding qualms in chatting to your classmates or asking you're teacher questions in class that some may think are stupid. You didn't care.

Aside from being a little nervous back in elementary school, that trait had dissolved as you got older, and it definitely wasn't present at the moment during your senior year at Hawkins High.

However. As much as you liked to claim to be unbothered with public speaking and your ability to make friends easily, there was one thing that you couldn't just quite get over, no matter how hard you tried. And quite frankly, it was getting old and ridiculous.

"Fuck, Robin he's coming down the hall," you exclaimed, "move, move, move, move!"

You didn't bother checking if she was behind you, already knowing she would be as you practically ran to your second period class. It was the first day of the new semester anyways, you could use the excuse of wanting to get good seats to justify your cowardice to yourself later tonight.

"Jesus Christ," you heard Robin mutter as she finally caught up to you, "You know I have asthma, I cannot keep doing this every time you so much catch a glimpse of Steve."

You slowed down your pace, your heart not feeling as though it would burst out of your chest anymore. You still sported a slight flush on your face from the thought of the almost encounter you had with the jock.

"I know, I know, this is getting so stupid. I promise next time I'll talk to him, I swear," you said as you sighed forlornly.

Robin turned to you with an unimpressed stare. "That's what you said last time, and the time before that, and the time before that, and yet here we are," she waved her hands dramatically.

Here's your problem. An issue that is a complete juxtaposition of your usual personality. The moment you've ever realized you have a crush on someone, you would run away from them anytime you saw them. Literally. You would full on sprint away in the opposite direction.

You've never really understood why this happens, only knowing that the second you saw your current crush, you're usual non existent nerves would make a prevalent appearance. You'd freeze and your eyes would widen as your brain chose the flight response when confronted with a potential dangerous situation.

"Look dingus, I love you and I think you're awesome and all that, blah blah blah, but this has got to stop," Robin stated as you both took your seats in your English class. "You're embarrassing me just as much as you're embarrassing yourself and our social status cannot take that much more of a beating."

You knew she was joking but just grunted in response, having buried your face in the crook of your elbow, not even bothering to open up your notebook. You heard Robin sigh and could tell she was rolling her eyes at you.

"You know..." Robin started, "I could always just...talk to him for you? Give him you're number or something during our shift at-"

Your raised your head immediately, almost giving yourself whiplash. "Robs, no way. We've talked about this before! I just - this situation is already awkward as it is, that would just make it worse."

"Hey, I'm just trying to help, but if you wanna suffer some more that's totally your choice." Robin says as she shrugs her shoulders. "Besides, with all that running your doing, at least you're getting some cardio in."

You let out as surprised squawk. "Robin come on! Not funny!" She doesn't reply, merely continuing to laugh at you. All you did was just groan in response again, settling your head in your arms once more.

A few weeks ago, you had been walking to your locker whilst attempting to shove a bunch of textbooks into your bag at the same time. Obviously, everything fell and it just so happened that Steve was nearby and helped you out.

"Oh my God, you don't have to, it's totally fine," you'd stammered, just the tiniest bit embarrassed of dropping your books in the middle of the crowded hallway.

"Don't sweat it, it happens to the best of us." Steve chuckled as he handed you your notebook.

And then it happened. The event that you frequently replay over and over in your mind, the event that kickstarted the affections you had for the boy.

Once everything was stored safely in your bag, Steve stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans. He then turned his attention to you and simply offered you his hand to help you up.

You stared into his big, brown eyes, completely dumbfounded. Here he was, an average man doing the absolute bare minimum and yet you still found yourself practically falling at his feet, your heart feeling as thought it was going to beat out of your chest.

"I- uh, I mean, thanks for the hand Steve," you stammered as you tentatively took his hand and pulled yourself off the floor. You cringed when you felt that it was sort of shaking and kind of clammy, hoping Steve wouldn't notice. "Both literally and figuratively."

You wanted nothing more than the ground to swallow you up after you blurted out those words. To your surprise, Steve let out a laugh, a genuine laugh. His eyes sort of crinkled and you could see the slight indent of a dimple. As if the man needed to get any more attractive in your eyes.

"It's no problem at all," he reassured you. "I'll be seeing you." He gave a quick wave and then turned in the direction of the cafeteria. Your hands tightened on the straps of your backpack as you watched him walk away, admiring the view.

Oh ew, you suddenly thought to yourself, now that was just pathetic.

Ever since that moment, you couldn't give yourself that last push you needed to talk to him. Even after the multitude of pep talks you give yourself in the mirror, including the ones from Robin, you still always ran away whenever you saw him.

You'd be a fool to think he didn't notice it and prayed he didn't mistake it for you hating him or something.

The sound of the bell signaling the start of class pulled you from your misery, forcing you to pay attention to your teacher so you didn't face the consequences of falling behind so early in the term.

Amidst your groveling, you'd failed to notice a particular brunet enter the class and take a seat at a desk a few rows behind you. Who knows what your reaction would have been if you did. Robin just kept her mouth shut, simply winking in Steve's direction when she caught his eye.

"Alright class, settle down and listen up," your teacher began. "I know it's the first day of the semester, but I wanted to introduce an assignment before anything else to make sure you have enough time to complete it and do an excellent job."

The entire class let out a collective groan, yourself included. How could she already be giving out assignments when she hasn't even properly introduced herself?

You turned to Robin, brows furrowed in annoyance. "I think she's got her agenda mixed up, she's introducing things in the wrong order."

"Fuck this, I should've taken Eddie's warning more seriously. Now I understand why everyone hates her," Robin gripped, running a hand through her cropped hair, already looking a little stressed.

You nodded in agreement and added, "I think I get why people hate English so much too."

Robin laughed. "But you'll still love it anyways, won't you?" she chided. Before you had a chance to reply, your teacher began speaking again.

"Settle down, please! If you listen, you'd hear that this not due until the last month of the semester and you'll be working in partners," she stated, "so not only will you have plenty of time to work on it, but you'll also have some help." You and Robin glanced at each other, hopefully smiles tugging at both of your faces.

"Your partners will be assigned by me," the whole class collectively groaned again, "which is what I'll be doing as we get through attendance. I'll explain the criteria before moving on."

"Yep, I think I hate this class at least a little bit now," you complained to Robin, already making a mental checklist of what school stuff you should at least start on later in the afternoon.

"-ohn Gilmore, Phoebe Burton, partners. Steve Harrington, Y/N Y/L/N, partners. Billy Holden, Rob-"

You froze for a second, as if you were glitching. Steve was in... this class? There was no way, you would have absolutely noticed him. But as you snuck a glance behind you, sure enough there he was, sitting in his chair, mindlessly twirling a pencil through his fingers. To your surprise, he was actually looking back at you too and- wait hold up, was he smirking?

You immediately spun back around, hand lurching to grip onto the sides of your desk. You then blinked a couple of time, praying your face wasn't as red as you felt like it was.

"Nope, nope, absolutely not. No thank you," you said as you shook your head from side to side. "Miss, this is a joke right?" you inquired out loud.

You were eventually going to talk to Steve, you were sure of it. The day was coming where you could have some sort of a conversation with him without running away, you could feel it. The moment was almost here.

Today, however, was absolutely not that day.

Just when you were about to complain to you teacher out loud again, you feel a presence behind you.

"Oh come on, you're already dismissing me as a terrible English partner? I'm wounded, seriously." The voice was laced in amusement. You did not need to turn around to know who it belonged to.

Before you could even think of a response, Robin turns to you, clearly finding your horror to the situation hilarious, and says, "Well, I think you're going to hate this class a little bit too."

Well fuck.

[dib-thing-wannabe]

I WATCHED THE PILOT FOR THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS AND OH MY GOD I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT-

(No spoilers under cut, just me going insane)

THE IMMEDIATE EXISTENTIAL CRISIS FROM POMNI WHEN SHE ARRIVED?? THE ALREADY DEEP SEATED LORE ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO ESCAPE?! ALL THE POSSIBLIES ABOUT WHAT COULD, CAN, AND SOMETIMES EVEN W I L L HAPPEN!!

If you have been a follower or a mutual of mine for some time now, you wouldn't be surprised to hear that Jax is what got me into it originally, nor be surprised that I am thinking about him the most out of the cast. What probably will surprise you is what I'm thinking about exactly.

What I'm thinking about is what will be done with him in the story. Will he be considered a villain? Will he be considered a good guy, despite him being a bully to the other casts? Does he know more than the others at the circus does? Who knows!! He has the potential for everything!

Something that I am struggling though is what headcannons I should have for him though-

He definitely is one of us fruits, but my question is which one?? He definitely seems like he could be mlm, especially with the energy he gives off. But I cannot stop thinking of transfem Jax no matter how hard I try not to- Because, like, I can totally see it being 100% canon!!

Just imagine the angst potential involving it, because he probably wouldn't know what he's experiencing and he might think that he's starting to extract! But yet the gender disphoria (idk if that's how it's spelled, but you'll get what I mean if it's spelled wrong) was always there for him, even before he joined the circus! And some of you probably know that Goose themselves have started to think about having Jax wear a dress in future episodes, and hooo boy, am I having thoughts about that!!

Imagine this: For the latest adventure, Jax is made to wear a dress, as a disguise. He is just complaining about it the entire time, not even going to look at himself as he's wearing it as he "probably looks silly and stupid in it". Once the adventure is over, he stomps away from everyone to go and take it off, feeling as if he was being made a fool of by them, even though they had been complimenting the way he looked the entire time (even if some of the compliments had laughter in them). In a similar fashion to the scene where Pomni stopped in front of the mirror when she saw herself in the digital circus for the first time, Jax walked passed a mirror and decided to take a look to "see what they were making fun of". When he looked at himself while he was still wearing the dress, he couldn't help but stare at himself. He thought, for the first time in forever, that he didn't just look good, that he looked right. There's wasn't any other way to explain it. He just looked right. He looked and felt like he was what he ever wanted to since he was a little kid. He twirled a little in the dress, making sure to get a good look at himself as he's wearing it, not being able to help but just softly smile at himself as his eyes were majorly dilated. This goes on for a few minutes before his first moment of gender efforia (again, don't know how to spell it-) is interrupted by Pomni and Cain, who were going to see if he was done with getting dressed. Cain just simply says something along the lines of "Wow, you finally decided to take a look at yourself, Jax? My, I thought we would never see the day!" Which results in an embarrassed scoff from Jax as he rolled his eyes at him. But Pomni saw that he was actually happy with the way he looked like never before, and tells him that he could wear dresses more often if it made him happy. He acts like he was deeply insulted by it and said that he wouldn't ever even think of doing this again, but later on he starts wearing dresses in his free time (where no one could see him, of course) (Except for Pomni, she'd probably help him pick out the dresses tbh).

If anyone wants to draw the little imaginary scene I made up, do it!! Draw it! Just tag me in it so I can see it!

[anticomedygarden]

how do they feel about the idea that the tomato is a fruit?

Tbh any hoo character that comes to mind strongest but if you need a specific idea I choose Hazel

I love this prompt! tysm 😍

y'all I did research on this one

-

Hazel had never given much thought to the tomato debate. They weren't her favorite to begin with, but she also just didn't have much opportunity to be around them. Growing up Black in the South in the Depression between two world wars with a mother only willing to spend her money on the finest of fineries didn't leave much room for tomatoes. Living in Alaska during wartime? Hell, no. She preferred to leave produce arguments to farmers, anyways.

Until she became a praetor.

"It's a vegetable!" a red faced son of Apollo, Thomas, yelled, standing guard in front of the Tiber.

"It's a fruit!" the brown haired daughter of Ceres screamed back. Hazel thought her name might be Molly.

Both teens were completely decked out in armor and weapons having come off guard patrol a few minutes ago, already fuming over the red food, long enough for Bailey, Camp Jupiter's newest recruit, to come get Hazel. She had been slogging away at a stack of paperwork, so she wasn't complaining.

By the time they'd returned to Thomas and Molly, the argument had escalated to a full on stand off.

The son of Apollo raised his spear. "Vegetable!"

The daughter of Ceres gripped her sword. "Fruit!"

"Okay!" Hazel said, finally stepping forward, her own gladius held out in front of her. "What is going on?" There was not a world or time Hazel thought she would ever exist in in which two people could have such strong opinions on tomatoes.

Unfortunately, that world and time did exist, and she was currently standing in it. Both Thomas and Molly erupted into bitter accusations, voices pitched so high Hazel had no hope of understanding them.

She closed her eyes and thought of a simpler, quieter time, years away from this weird tomato hell. Sadly, when she opened her eyes, she wasn't ethereal.

"One at a time," she said.

Thomas waved a hand at Molly, apparently ceding first speaker rights. She took a deep breath and began, "We were doing guard duty and somehow got on the topic of food, and he-" she pointed "-said tomato is a vegetable. Obviously, that's wrong, which I told him, and he went insane."

"I did not 'go insane,'" Thomas said, putting air quotes around 'go insane.' "I explained why tomatoes are a vegetable, and she told me to 'stop being stupid, stupid.'"

Now, Hazel was a reasonable young demigod. She knew that in matters of agriculture, she should trust the child of Ceres. She also knew that these two in particular had been getting into a lot of fights lately despite having been close friends for a while. That meant either something had happened between them or it was the teenage version of hair pulling. However, since it seemed that Molly had said the inciting line this time (and Hazel kinda wanted to see where this was going now), she couldn't in good faith just declare that Molly was right.

Hazel calmly turned to Molly. "Molly, why do you think tomatoes are a fruit?"

The other girl crossed her arms. "'Cause they are."

"Ha!" Thomas exclaimed. "She can't come up with anything."

Before Hazel could give him a thorough admonishing, Molly smirked. "Oh, I can come up with plenty, but I wouldn't want to make you look stupid."

Thomas' face somehow got even redder. "Come on-"

"For starters, fruit come from the flowering part of the plant-"

"We don't eat flowers-"

"Of course, the flower just serves as attraction. The actual fruit comes from the plant's ovaries, which is what a tomato is."

Hazel was watching the fight so intently that she completely missed the mention of the reproductive organ, though she did glance around to make sure there were no kids anywhere.

Thomas stared. "Then what are vegetables?"

Molly rolled her eyes. "Any other part of the plant."

"What about pumpkin?"

"Fruit."

"Cucumber?"

"Fruit."

Thomas threw his hands up in the air, disturbingly mindless of the spear in his right hand. "Oh my gods!"

Hazel had to admit that this was starting to get a bit ridiculous.

Molly levelled a glare at Thomas. "Got something to say?"

The son of Apollo shifted. "Nutritionists and culinary-"

"Ha!" Molly scoffed. "Cause nutritionists and culinary artists know so much about botany."

Hazel continued to stand in between the two, quickly becoming less and less sure of herself. This was so far out of her depth, yet somehow seemed so high stakes. It wasn't just the tomatoes' fate she had to decide, but pumpkin, cucumber, and presumably all other juicy, seedy vegetable/fruit.

She tried to imagine what her friends would say.

"Listen to the child of Ceres," Annabeth would say. "Fruit is ovary, and tomato is fruit."

"It's squishy and seedy," Percy would say. "It's a fruit."

"There's no real taste," Frank would say. "Vegetable."

"It's low in sugar," Will would say. "It's a vegetable, and a good source of lycopene and vitamin C."

"I don't care," Nico would say. "Leave me alone."

She took too long. Without her noticing, Molly had managed to grow a medium beefsteak tomato in her hand not holding the dagger, and in one smooth motion, lobbed the thing at Thomas' head. "Eat ovary, dumbass!"

Mesmerized, Hazel watched the tomato sail through the air and land on Thomas' face. Molly should be proud of herself; the firm fruit didn't burst on impact, but instead slid to the ground where it sat, vibrantly innocent.

She decided now was the time to be a Praetor. "Seriously, guys, come on." She looked at Thomas. "Go to the infirmary and get an ice pack." Then, she turned to Molly. "And you're on stable cleaning duty for two weeks. And both of you, apologize."

Molly and Thomas both looked at her, and she sighed. "Does it matter?"

"Yes!"

She barely restrained herself from rolling her eyes. Ultimately, the decision was easy. Rare memories of biting into the sweet, rubbery food, juice and seeds filling her mouth, spilling out the corners and running down her chin in the summer heat of New Orleans and later under the gentle Alaska sun, filled her mind.

"It's a fruit," she said.

"Yes!" Molly clapped at the same time Thomas said, "Aw, come on."

Later, when Frank found the paperwork for the tomato incident (as Hazel had taken to calling it), she had to laugh at the confusion that covered his face as he held it up for her to see. "Um, what?"

She took his hand in what she hoped was a comforting gesture. "You don't want to know."

[houseofbrat]

They should have never let Catherine take the blame for the photo altering. Even if she did alter it herself, it only adds to everyone’s suspicion. I think she felt the need to put a photo out quickly and it backfired. Why didn’t the RP cover for her photo blunder?

Right. Literally anything would’ve been better than her of all people personally taking the fall for this! William would’ve been better, a random, unnamed intern would’ve been better, one of the kids fucking with the computer lmao idk. Just such a strange strange tweet to send out.

Someone should call KP and tell them we’re on mega thread #4 over here and we can’t have our mods getting sick from the “stress and fallout”, so just trot her out for a second or an audio message or even just a true statement sans doctored photos. And if she’s too unwell for that well gee maybe a smidge of transparency would gain them public support back . Nobody wants her medical info , just them to stop acting shady and disrespectful.  She can have her privacy and also stop the shiftiness and theatrics.  Unlike Reddit mods, the BRF gets paid. 

I think Kate is refusing to play ball. It's entirely possible she's had setbacks in her recovery or drew a line in the sand and said "I'm out until x/y/z date, so quit pushing," but this is a woman who's been in the public eye for 20 years. She knows how the media vultures and gossip mill operate. The speculation has now turned dark. We're getting everything from she's passed and they're covering it up, to she was injured in an 'incident.' Papers are running articles on William's rage issues. Kate could easily clear this up but she's choosing not to. It leads me to believe she's pissed at her husband and is enjoying watching him squirm. 

Just found out my best friend has independently fallen down the rabbit hole—which just illustrates how out of control this has gotten.

we’re both thinking it’s just a series of ‘own goals’ but are seriously hoping Catherine makes an appearance at Easter. If not, I think KP will have to make yet another announcement, and given how inept they’ve been, it’ll probably just make things even worse.

I’m just hoping she’s chilling with her kiddos, and is either not paying attention to the whole debacle or is highly amused by the shenanigans.

I would think that she is making an appearance at Easter but then wonder why KP wanted it to be known that she isn’t confirmed the attend Trooping of the Colour? Which was stupid on their part tbh

Princess Diana’s former private secretary on the matter from a CNN interview.

He’s kinda repetitious but still clear enough. He comes out critical of William for poor communications. Williams’s office created the vacuum of information which fueled the interest which fueled the out sized interest and the conspiracy theories.)

They definitely mishandled this situation. Supposedly Prince William just got a new private secretary. Hopefully they get a proper PR team again soon. While I’m not on team conspiracy theories and believe what has happened is exactly what we heard (Catherine had major surgery and is now recovering), they were way in over their heads in how they handled this.

Crazily, her secretary, Patrick Jephson, was my neighbor 8 years ago, super nice and very genuine guy. I definitely put stock in his POV.

This has been extremely poorly managed by KP. They’ve done irreparable harm to their image. The pressure they are now under for the next step/stage/messaging is immense. This is a defining moment for the royal family. Charles is not well, to what extent is not known. Kate is MIA and now three very questionable ‘proof of life’ photos have been released. The state of Will and Kate’s marriage is under a serious spotlight. It’s an information black hole. VERY rocky overall.

Charles and Kate are unwell. That is all. Kate is obsessed with her looks and image and she doesn’t want to be pictured looking anything but perfect that’s all. She will be back once she is looking like her old self. I honestly don’t believe the marriage in trouble stuff. Kate will never leave William that too so close to becoming the Queen? No chance.

Is it possible, in light of everything that has occurred so far, that Charles is letting Will have enough rope so Charles can use this PR disaster as his excuse to shutdown Kensington Palace office so everyone falls under his office at BP? Get rid of Will's staff and his vanity projects so he has to get on with the everyday drudgery that being a royal entails? It's not just film premieres and photo ops. It's hands on in the community at events with little or no fanfare. Service rather than PR grandstanding.

With no more competing offices, Charles can have his people oversee everything. That at least might get some consistency.

I kind of doubt it. William has the duchy money now. He can spend it however he wants.

I believe the most significant thing is that - at the very beginning of this whole story- the surgery wasn’t planned at all… she had the agenda full of duties, included a trip to Italy…  The narrative from the Palace was inconsistent from the first day. 

Reposting, because I think my comment got removed.

My takeaway from all the conspiracy theories floating around out there is that no matter what the truth is, look at what the main themes have become. Essentially, there are several theories about Will's behaviour and being a less than stellar husband. Also, the feeling that KP cannot be trusted. No matter what the truth is, the fact that these are the themes that have emerged is interesting.

William has based his entire reputation on being a nice protective family man. He doesn’t really have any other accomplishments or character traits that the public cares about. He put all his eggs were in the good dad/husband basket. Somehow, the Harry & Meghan crisis only bolstered that image. Now Stephen Colbert is doing bits about his alleged affairs, and all the normies know about his anger issues. Now personally, I’m the kind of person who thinks where there’s smoke, there’s fire. But even if there aren’t any flames here, Kategate has done some massive damage to Will’s reputation.

KP PR team is giving toxic boymom energy. Anything to protect their precious son.

Is anybody else getting annoyed at all the normies acting like Rose is William’s Camilla? I mean, maybe she is. Maybe they never even slept together. We don’t really know. But the assumption is getting on my nerves. Not every side chick is a Camilla!!

My mum calls my dads best friend (another straight male) his Camilla.

I was filling in my husband about this mess, and his comment was that he thinks maybe the PR team WANTS this drama unfolding because it keeps the royals in the news. Like essentially, "all press is good press." What does this community think? I was inclined to think that as the figurehead of a political state and a future king, Charles and William really can't afford this type of bad press, especially about DV. Obviously, the royal family do bring in money and tourism for the country, and part of that has always been an uneasy relationship with paparazzi and gossip rags, but given that QE II is gone and there are a lot of people who find them irrelevant and an unfair state subsidy, I think this would be a terrible PR move. Thoughts? Could their PR team be milking this?

Their PR team are likely pulling their hair out. "All press is good press" applies to celebrities who need to keep their names front and center to remain celebrities. The Palaces never want bad press. I think the issue is that William is incredibly stubborn and won't listen to their advice.

I've never been the type of girl to need closure when things come to an end, but if the season finale to this saga doesn’t answer every single question and include some bombshells I’d never even consider, I’m going to cry.

“She deserves her privacy, though!” Shut up, we’re all here for the same reason.

I just find it hilarious that the most interesting thing Kate has ever done in her life is disappear.

The whole ''she went shopping and we saw it, trust me bro'' thing is bad for them any way you look at it.

Either she wasn't really seen shopping and the story was completely fabricated with colaboration from the media, which would be pretty sinister and in line with everything else we've been getting lately, and at the least it would be a very North Korean-esque way of deceiving the public.

or

She actually did went shopping, was in ''public'' no matter how limited and controlled the public was, which means that she's physically capable + her face isn't bad or disfigured or whatever, as some people have suggested. Which portrays her as very irresponsible and weirdly uninterested in keeping up her image and popularity. Amidst all those very damaging rumors that could directly influence and traumatize even her children (forget about adults and public), she has time and will for shopping but not for a 10 second video, which is everything needed to dispell all the rumors once and for all?

All in all, terrible PR one way or another. The clusterfuck continues.

Do they actually think it’s a good look that she went shopping on St Paddy’s Day? She’s involved with the Irish guards and cancelled her appearance at their annual event… so she can’t work but she can pop out to the shops with Willy? Sure, Jan. Just fuck the Irish guards then right?! I mean, not that I remotely believe she went shopping. But another terrible PR bungle. These KP PR people are fucking idiots and I don’t understand why they still have jobs when they’re so clearly incompetent.

Even if she wasn't capable of attending a quick video message expressing her good wishes for the Irish guards etc etc would have worked wonders in terms of restoring good feeling towards them from the public and simultaneously would have quieted the conspiracy theorists. I don't buy she wasn't well enough to do a simple 1 minute video but was perfectly happy with a trip to the shops and watching sports with the kids where she would have been seen and possibly photographed. My personal view is that the trip to the shop didn't happen. There's no way that there's not a SINGLE snap taken on a mobile phone that's made it's way to social media.

I'm continually amazed at how badly the Waleses are botching all of this.

To be clear, I've been a royal watcher since they got engaged in 2010, and I'd definitely fall into more into the "fan" camp than not.

I've thought the conspiracy theories about all of this are nonsense. And even now after "Photogate", I STILL think they're nonsense and that what is happening is what they said - Catherine had serious surgery and needs time to recover.

But the artificially constructed Mother's Day photo is such a huge unforced error, made worse by Catherine then taking the fall for it.

Catherine's clearly not ready to show her actual face as it looks right now, and that's fine.

But then don't fake a picture! Post a quick video of William and the kids making breakfast in bed for Catherine for Mother's Day, or making cards or something. It'd still have the conspiracy theorists buzzing about why we're not seeing her, but it'd have been SO much better received by the general public than what they did.

She's absolutely entitled to her privacy, especially while she recovers. But the deal that the Royal Family has had with the press for decades now is that they get privacy most of the time in exchange for occasional, official, REAL pictures. It's clueless at best - and outright deceptive at worst - to do something like this and think no one will notice or care.

With the farmer’s market story, I’m even more convinced that Kate’s story is a red herring and there is something else happening they don’t want people to notice or know about.

This is still so odd. Either something is up (and I have no knowledge and make no inferences as to what or why) or a lot of people are profoundly bad at their jobs. Ok, the photoshop happens. Then they lie about it, even when they are trying to apologize for it. Why not put out a quick official and genuine photo of just her. If she isn't ready for camera's yet, put out a voice recorded statement saying, "I appreciate everyone's interest in my well being. Rest assured I am recovering well and I look forward to returning to my royal duties as soon as I am able". They could so easily kill all of this speculation and non-sense if things are as they say they are (she is taking car rides and shopping and up out and about). It would literally take 1 hour of her time at most, and instead KP's continued silence invites more speculation. You know what happens in physics why you make a vacuum? It gets filled. The same happens in the media/press. So again I say, either something is up (and I have no grounds with which to speculate what it might be) or this is the absolute worst PR advice and self-made crisis in recent memory.

Edit: Grammar

I joked about this in one of the earlier megathreads, but what if the *plot twist* in all of this is that Kate handles her own PR. I just remember when they got married how one of the little factoids that came out was that Kate did her own makeup for the wedding day. Like, royals! They're just like us!

Can someone answer why Royal Rota media are publishing these pics if there is a deal that they don't publish unauthorized photographs or was this a planned pap walk LOL? Is there a thread somewhere talking about this. I was listening to the Times (UK) Radio on YouTube today and the Assistant Editor for the paper (Kate Mansey) was unfairly criticizing listeners as strange people who are conspiracy theorists and says there isn't a pact or agreement that the family has with the media...yeah right LOL (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIKUvQB2Z_M). Have these people read about the Royal Rota and the unprecedented-in-the-modern-era pacts the royal family has made with the British media.

If the British media are posting it its because they got the ok to do so.

Their PR team needs to pick a lane. On one hand they're selling that Kate is healthy enough to be out and about twice in one weekend, walking around a farmer's market, watching her kids play sports, but on the other she's unwell to the point she had to fake a Mother's Day pic and pull out of an event in June? Which is it? Their messaging is all over the place. 

I hope that if we all take away one thing from this whole ordeal its that no matter how bad at your job you might think you are, you're still probably doing better than the KP PR team over the last couple of weeks so give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done and don't be so harsh on yourself.

what gets me and i know royal fans will call me a conspiracy theorist is that it's kinda obvious there's a story here. the impact or actual matter of it isn't what i'm questioning, but the motivation behind so many blunders. i am a writer/journalist and this entire story feels weirdly on edge of being something, anything.

like yes, let's presume kp was truthful from the beginning and she had abdominal surgery that took too long to recover from. great, but why throw her under the bus? or if all of this is a distraction, overplayed to the nines, what for? 

i am sure any tea is probably regular people tea to the max, like relationship dynamics, family stuff and whatnot. it's not like i believed she was killed and it was hidden, but usually when there's smoke there's fire and i'm curious about what fire, you know? 

i would love to be a fly on the wall and know what they disagree about, their relationship with staff and other royals. 

i find kate stylish and their wedding hype was charming, if a little gauche. i am against royals in general, not specifically them, but they could be great philanthropists if they wanted. 

the thing with Kate's personality (in public) is that it's nonexistent? i suppose that's the ideal, princess-like behavior that's expected from her. but i do wonder what happens behind the scenes with that. how curated it is x how many other blunders happened before.

The story seems to be that Will and Kate are going to find it much, much harder to be the center of the slimmed down monarchy than they realized.  Though if it turned out that they’d never really thought about how that was going to work on practice, I would believe you.  There aren’t as many working royals so the attention is on them, whether they want it to be or not.  The disappearing and the stonewalling isn’t super unusual for Will and Kate, though not previously to this extent, but we’ll see if they make any changes moving forward.  Judging from how this debacle has dragged on, I am guessing they won’t.

Well, I for one am very impressed by Kate's ability to emerge from her grueling 3 month surgical recovery looking like a radiant, bouncy 25 year old yoga instructor who doesn't have a care in the world.

[will80sbyers]

id love to draw more byler kisses but i and a couple other artists i’ve spoken to (i mean it was a couple months ago now ah) got kinda nervous to draw that back when some part of the fandom were ‘cancelling’ people over the smallest stuff or making up assumptions off of ~vibes~ that aren’t even true. it made it discouraging for smaller artists bc of course we want to explore the romance but sometimes more than a little peck on the lips is needed, or feels more right. like as an artist you want to evoke emotion, and you can’t do that holding back just bc some people can’t handle some characters growing up? most of us just want to draw the deeper level of love we’ll be getting in s5 anyway. i know it shouldn’t matter/we can post what we want etc but especially on twitter people were soo extreme about anything other than basic content. idk if I’m explaining right, but are romantic kisses (not crazy passionate lol) something the fandom wants to see, not just cute little ones? maybe it’s better now idk, this post made me happy to see tbh 😅

Oh I definitely want to see the romantic kisses, the real big kiss and even it being passionate (not in a crazy way) because that's how you get the intensity of the relationships in romance for me personally at least

and don't get me wrong, I absolutely love them just holding hands too or doing cute relationships stuff but kisses are part of the majority of relationships, that is an experience most people and couples have in life, obviously not all and I'm NOT saying that who doesn't do it doesn't love equally, but it's just a different expression that should be represented too along with all the others!

but I get it, you should do what you want obviously and if you don't want to deal with that part of the fandom it's totally valid!!! I'm sorry you had to experience that in the fandom :(

I think people must stop to associate simple kissing with sex, like, NO ONE is asking for more explicit art of byler because they are too young for that to be okay obviously, and no one wants to see that!!!! but a kiss is just a kiss

and I personally want to say that people CANCELLING people because they draw a couple in a ship only kissing are completely out of reality, a kiss is there to express affection and love not always to get to more intimate parts of the relationship

Teenagers kiss in movies constantly, it's an expression of love, and it doesn't have to be leading to sex EVER, unless they want it to in their private moment that we are definitely not interested in seeing!!!

if you seriously think that kissing someone can only lead you to sleep with them you have a distorted view of affection, maybe because someone made you think it should but it absolutely does not have to lead to more intimate things!!! ( Never do anything that you don't feel comfortable doing, if you're ok with kissing it means that you're ok with kissing, anything MORE than that should be discussed between the people involved. )

How are artists supposed to give us cute content and cute art about the ship if you start cancelling everybody even when they did nothing wrong...?

and also how are we supposed to take "cancelling" seriously anyway, if the situation is really this? shouldn't that be reserved for when people do something that's really harmful to others??? implying that who wants to see a kiss between two people in love in a story is a pedo is insane and completely out of reality... they are 15 not 10, it's perfectly normal and healthy for them to be kissing?????

and it's also stupid because the whole world is watching it happen constantly on TV, movies, books... and why is this a problem only for byler???? only the mlm couple has to be under scrutiny for this? interesting, I wonder why!

I WONDER if maybe people are sexualizing mlm ships more than they should and subconsciously thinking that people want to see them do more even when all they are asking is just a NORMAL healthy thing like a kiss... because of that, because they have that

gay = sexual

in automatic response!!!

THAT is harmful to real queer people around the world.

Examine yourself when you have thoughts like that, because that is rooted in homophobia or lesbiphobia...

also remember that real people often do have sex and teenagers are sexual beings, that doesn't mean that it should be depicted explicitly in the media or that it's any adults business what they do or don't, but it's not ok to want to just hide completely that part of reality and it's also DANGEROUS.

Teenagers MUST get safe and healthy sexual EDUCATION in a safe environment, from doctors and teachers because they will want to do that anyway and it's important to inform them about these things so that they can protect themselves from catching diseases, ending up pregnant when they are too young for it or being forced against their will to do something or not respect someone's consent because no one taught them about respecting it and they learned about sex from the porn industry that is rather violent in almost every video 😕

but going back to this specific situation and byler... this is also weird because IN the show we had Mike and El making out when they were even younger than Mike and Will now! That could have really been avoided but it also doesn't mean that the writers are pedophiles for writing them kissing when they are in a relationship, that's just writing reality, they are in their first relationship and they want to kiss, the Duffers were extremely respectful in their depiction of a part of reality because of their ages obviously... you should go to complain to people that are actually doing weird suff in this industry like the writer of Euphoria for example 😐

being RESPECTFUL is the same thing that artists do here when they handle byler, they stay respectful but still capture a moment of reality... it's just drawing their first kiss that it's a symbol of them confessing their romantic feelings, it is not meant to be anything more than that!!!

[brick-a-doodle-do]

here take th- *passes out*

ok i speedwrote this, i had a line in mind and decided to write it cause i was sad :] tbh the first bit seems kinda angsty but tommy's just in a silly goofy mood and is being dramatic as always.

also ig it's for @corysmiles's little streamer au? maybe? let's roll with it

goodnight now 😴

off switch

wc: 1356

cw: swearing, mention of drowning, brief panic

—–—

Tommy screams as he slips over the edge of the sink and plummets in, soapy water splashing around him as he sinks to the bottom. He flails in the pool of water, releasing a scream that came out as warped noises and a flood of bubbles from his mouth. Water clouds his eyes, but he still finds his way back to the surface. He gasps dramatically when his head resurfaces and the cold air of the bathroom rushes around his face and flushing his cheeks the faintest shade of pink. “Wilbur!” Tommy calls out, slipping below the water again. In a panic, he inhales, water flooding his pipes. He lifts his face up against the foamy water and coughs out, the detergenty taste of soap and shaving cream spilling out of his throat. Tommy shudders. “Wilbur, you fucking bitch! I am not fucking swimming around in your soapy-ass water, get me the fuck out of this!” He yells, gaping at Wilbur’s terrible attempt at hiding his smile as he continues on, acting as if he doesn’t hear the tiny. “Wilbur!” he yells, flailing with dramatised movements. Wilbur’s lips quiver in amusement. Water splashes around him, and he’s made too big of a scene to stop his struggle. Besides, the walls of the sink, no matter how close he gets to them, tower above him and will never guarantee a safe way out. Wilbur, the bitch, is the only way out. 

He groans loudly (Wilbur can hear his utter distress) and ceases his movements to make a terribly embarrassing attempt of splashing water up at the human. He flips backwards the second his arms break the surface and he slips back under the water, limbs twisting in a terrible cluster, like a puzzle that takes eons to put together. He yells out Wilbur’s name under the water, and upon inhaling, again, water swarms his gullet and before he knows it he’s coughing underwater, bubbles disperse around him until he can resurface. And when he does, his cheeks are flushed with a deeper shade of pink-purple. He chokes, holding his hands to his chest to support his burning lungs, while his legs continue to flail under the water to keep him upright. 

“Wilbur! Bitch—dick—asshole! You are the worst person I have ever met, help me!”

“Why should I?” Wilbur asks with a hum, patting his freshly-shaved face with a blue towel. In the mirror Wilbur is gazing into, Tommy watches as a faint smile threatens to crack further. That bitch,

“Wh’dya mean why should I? Just help me! That’s not a fucking thing to question, I’m literally drowning and your stupid ass is out here like ‘why should I?’” Tommy yells, scoffing. 

“You look fine to me,” Wilbur says. Now that he points it out, Tommy realises that his legs are rhythmically flowing in the slow water to keep him afloat, and for once in his life he’s calm.

“Oh fuck off with that, I may look fine but I’m dying right now. Drowning, startlingly quickly. Got that, Wil-bitch?” 

“I see,” Wilbur says, distracted. The towel is set down dangerously close to the sink, and Tommy finds this to be a taunt. An extremely irritating one.

“Help me,” Tommy whines, trying his hardest to sound even the smallest bit demanding for a man whose personality is structured on drama. 

Wilbur shuffles, one last time drawing his hands down the faint stubble he’d left be before he pried his attention away from the mirror, and relievingly down to Tommy. He fully anticipates being brought out of this hellhole of a sink and onto the counter, but instead, Wilbur just leans over the counter and watches him. And the fucking worst part of it is: Wilbur doesn’t try to conceal his smile any longer. It’s keeping laughter locked in, he knows from the way his dimples are pulled back and his lips dip down at the ends.

“You are a bitch. I fucking hate you, die in a hole you absolute shithead— I will bite you,” Tommy snips, arms folding against his chest.

“You are a very demanding child,” Wilbur replies. He sounds too content, he hates it. And, oh—

“I am not a fucking child, ey, I’m eighteen now! And I can be as demanding as I want when I am dying in a sink,” Tommy argues, putting his complaint into lilting syllables. 

Wilbur sighs, leaning further over the sink. His eyes come dangerously close to him, and Tommy can feel his warm breath wash over him when the man’s smile widens. He bares his teeth and Tommy very well considers punching them. But instead, he promptly splashes water up at the human. Wilbur yells and retaliates, standing upright and rubbing at his eye. “Oh fuck,” he murmurs softly, the smugness wiped right away. “You realise that doesn’t make me want to get you out of the water any more, yeah? You’re unpleasant to be around.”

“Wha—nononono—Wilbur, it won’t happen again! I promise, please let me out of this shithole and I’ll leave you alone, it is fucking freezing in here,” he says. It was a complete lie, and if anything, the water was strangely relaxing. But it helped his case.

“Think about it, waterinnit. We could make you li’l floaties, floatinnit. Wha’dya think?” 

“I think get me the fuck out of here.” 

Wilbur rolls his eyes and murmurs under his breath sadly, and with the hand that isn’t constantly making sure his eye is in-tact, swipes his hand under the water and takes Tommy along with it. Water falls over the edge of Wilbur’s palm and Tommy relaxes his shoulders and bathes in the feeling of the sores in his legs declining. 

“Happy, child?” Wilbur asks, lowering his hands with practised ease flat onto the counter. Tommy, also having done this a million times over, clambers off. His clothes are heavy with water and his hair sticks uncomfortably against his forehead, playing with the tip of his vision. 

“Congrats on doing the bare-fucking-minimum,” he quips. 

Wilbur laughs, reaching for something over the counter that Tommy doesn’t get a chance to see before his vision is cut off with a deep blue something. His head is abruptly caught between Wilbur’s forefinger and thumb as the human messes with the top of his head. His vision spins and his cheeks flush a deep pink when he realises Wilbur is trying to dry him off. He can feel the indent of Wilbur’s fingers against the towel gently dig into his hair. Part of him wants to struggle, but the other part melts at the feeling. It’s mesmerising, two fingers double the height of him rubbing against his hair in a paternal fashion. His heart twists weird, and before he can get ahold of his nice it felt, soft fluorescent lighting from the bulbs that lined the bathroom mirror flooded his vision. He squints at the sudden change, then stares up at Wilbur, who stares down at him with a fond smile—something knowing in it. Tommy can’t quite place it.

The phantom feeling of his fingers against his head still massages in his imagination. But, he still has a facade to hold up. “Wh- What the fuck was that? I don’t want fucking spa treatment from a bitch like you,” he complains. 

“Awwwh, Tommeee, did you like that?” Wilbur coos, drawing out his name and crouching down to be eye-level with him. That something knowing in his eyes became almost obvious now. The same two fingers return to his head and something warm spreads in him. Wilbur massages his head, and he melts into it, eyes closed contently despite his urge to protest. Wilbur’s forefinger ruffles at his hair, smiling a smile wider than Tommy has ever seen. 

“Piss off, you’re so annoying,” Tommy murmurs, tire lulling at him.

“Do you have a fucking off switch?” Wilbur asks abruptly, sounding startlingly curious.

“No, I don’t have an off switch!” he says, straightening up. 

Testing his theory, WIlbur takes his head between his forefinger and thumb and rubs them in circles above his ears. Before Tommy can protest, he slumps against Wilbur’s hand.

—–—

[humanoidtyphoons]

no i got things to say about gun x sword

-genuinely sad the opening did not commit to the bit of silhouettes revealed and remaining silhouettes if the characters had died. ray dying broke my heart but i think he should have remained a silhouette in the opening after his death, but at some point the anime stopped doing that and it’s a real shame bc i thought the way it initially did things was sooo fun

-didn’t expect to like ray so much but he’s a foil to van in a way that gradually became really pleasing. also him thwarting the claw’s plan, even temporarily, was super satisfying!!!

-the claw was such a good villain. trying to suss out why things don’t add up with him, what people say about him vs what he’s doing. meeting him in person, being underwhelmed, baffled, cautious and temporary insane about how things don’t make sense before coming to the conclusion that he’s actually insane so the dissonance is… intentional? he clicks in a way that’s really great to process tbh. like the good intentions he has just don’t work with his logic, he doesn’t seem to realise he killed people when he gives them hugs, and doesn’t really care if people die so long as his dream is fulfilled?

-it’s a little embarrassing to be in denial about his blatant madness, and i should have figured it out sooner, but ngl he flummoxed me for episodes bc people couldn’t hate him and apparently found him so charismatic that they joined his cause??? so i. convinced myself that there was going to be this super complicated reveal that would explain his bizarreness in a convoluted way, that would explain everything… and the simplicity of it being. he’s just insane, actually. so much more effective.

(-knives out glass onion with benoit blanc going “you’re not smart! you’re just stupid!!!” is the closest comparison i think i can get but it’s just… wasn’t satisfying for that movie, (i did like the movie, tho, with nitpicks) whereas gxs… me coming to the realisation about claw… sometimes as the audience, you doing the legwork is what makes the figuring out and making it make sense satisfying??)

-i really like that van wastes no time killing claw in the final episode. bc we’d seen something similar with ray, who also wanted revenge for the death of his wife at claw’s hands. claw talking and being dismissive. we’d seen in the previous episode, van and the claw talking, in which the claw repeatedly calling van an idiot. it was clear that they were never going to get through to each other. so van quickly cuts him in two, and honestly? so fulfilling. so satisfying.

-found myself shipping van/pricilla and joshua/wendy. ofc they didn’t end up together, but i’m super relieved van/wendy didn’t happen either and they remained platonic til the end.

-ngl van kinda inexplicably hating joshua soooo much made me laugh so much! it’s so mean and i love both characters but it’s hilarious

-i kinda do like wendy vs her brother michael and her telling him off bc she explored the planet with van and gained new experiences

-docked a point for the fan service tho

-i’m not… particularly happy about michael once he sleeps with his teammate tbh? idk how i would have written it but… uh… not like that tbh?

-honestly the story is nothing new but the characters are so fun and likeable and that matters more tbh! ngl my attention span wandered at times but when it was good, it was very very good

-but also i liked that van wasn’t solely motivated by revenge. not like ray. ray lived for nothing else but revenge, but van… as cranky as he was, still had connections to the living.

[heartshattering]

I'm sad over the stupidest fucking thing ever but this is making me spiral

I am rarely ever with my dad anymore, then today since he had a day off and my mom seemed to be resting, Dad and I were going to watch something together for the first time in I don't know how long... I've mentioned before he kind of avoids being around us, mostly because of my mom tbh because she starts asking for a lot of things... and yeah I get annoyed at my dad too, but I still thought it was nice he was willing to watch this with me, especially because I haven't really had energy for much, so it was gonna be the one thing I'd watch before I would go back to working

The thing we were gonna watch doesn't interest her at all, it has subtitles and my mom doesn't like subtitles, plus she wouldn't like the subject matter either since it involves murder etc.

Anyway... my mom heard my dad and I laughing at one of the scenes (we were in the family room while she was sleeping in her room). AND SHE FREAKED THE FUCK OUT SO BADLY. Literally lost it on me, accusing my personality disorder of being this way, saying I'm being abusive to her by 'purposely leaving her out' even when I said "I thought you were resting and it's not something you would like to watch with us anyway", doesn't matter to her, we should only be with her watching the stuff SHE likes anyway. I had to stop watching and go be in the room with her, thank God I took something to numb myself so I could be 'there' but not really 'there' just stuck having to do shit for her while her mindless TV channel of choice (fucking Home Shopping Network...) played in the background. I tried to cut but didn't get as far as I would have liked, I want to take more pills but deep down I know it's fucking stupid and if I died then... I'd be dead obviously... which I can't decide is good or not. But I'm too scared. I'd fail and just waste 2 weeks in the goddamn hospital. And it's not 'wah wah I didn't get to watch what I wanted' that has me sad but just the fact my mom NEVER LETS ME DO WHAT I WANT. Even something as simple as getting away from her for a while to watch a fucking movie (not even go to the cinema but just a couple rooms away), NO every goddamn thing in my life has to revolve around her, she didn't even 'need' anything, she just got pissed that I was supposedly 'leaving her out' and then blamed me 'acting like that' on my BPD. It's never going to get any better and the only reason I haven't done anything worse to myself is because I still don't know if I want it to 'work' on not. I'm not numb enough yet but the only thing that would really make me numb for good would be to be dead finally. I'm just so sick of everything and every fucking day is going to be me chained to my mom never able to do anything that I fucking want to do that doesn't involve her.

[chronologicalhomestuck]

karkat pov liveblog: hivebent, part 1

we begin in a lab on a meteor in the furthest ring.

computer enhance.

look at all those little goobers! i am not replaying this whole flash just for this moment but in lieu of that, here's hussie's commentary on the scene from the book, just for a bit of spice.

as far as i can tell, karkat's first chronological appearance in hivebent is 2177.

vriska has just jumped tavros off a cliff, and he chooses to message karkat about it. im not sure what he hoped to get out of this since karkats only reply is characteristically snappy.

we then jump to 2025. karkat is messing around with some .~ATH files. in the middle of examining the mobius double reacharound virus (titled check_thii2_2hiit_out.~ATH), he gets trolled by its author. hello sollux.

CG: SO YOU MADE THIS GAME? TA: no no. TA: more liike ii adapted iit. CG: FROM WHAT. TA: 2ome crazy technology AA dug out of 2ome ruiin2. TA: havent you talked two her about iit? CG: MAN, NO. CG: I CAN'T TALK TO HER, SHE'S SO SPOOKY.

we start talking about the game that will take up the rest of karkats story, and get a hint about this mysterious "AA."

he then hears crabdad complaining, and chooses to put this off...long enough to introduce himself, i guess.

karkat's introduction is 1992, written in a way directly referencing john's introduction.

Earth, also for convenient reference, is a planet that does not yet exist.

see how we are doing this? logical! earth doesnt exist yet, so of course we arent starting with the humans!

homestuck does not want me to read it chronologically. it is doing everything possible to stop me from reading it chronologically.

This game, for convenient reference, is a game that DOES NOT YET EXIST.

please. please let me obey chronology.

Later on, you would swap your modus with your hacker friend, a guy who unlike you happens to be competent with programming. It would only make sense.

i thought i would embark on this quest and find its purpose along my way. that purpose, it seems so far, is to acknowledge just how stupid this chronology is.

It is your sixth wriggling day, and as with all five preceding it blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

yeah i was about to say something like that. that being that i wont have much to say so long as the plot remains linear.

It figures that installing this new beta chat client would open the floodgates

i always forget that trollian was brand new when hivebent starts. i wonder what they used to message each other before then?

speaking of which, his first pesterlog after his introduction is page 2010, with gamzee. its kinda sad how mean karkat is to a lot of his friends tbh.

TC: iSn'T sOmEtHiNg BiG aLl GoInG dOwN? CG: WHAT? TC: i HeArD sOmEtHiNg bIg WaS gOiNg AlL dOwN. TC: JuSt AlL bE tElLiNg Me AlL wHaT mOtHeRfUcKiN iT's Up AnD aLl AbOuT. CG: STOP SAYING ALL. ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT TA'S THING? TC: yEaH!! fUcK yEaH mAn, So MyStErIoUs. TC: I'm NeVeR bEiNg GeTtInG cEaSeD tO bE aMaZeD bY aLl ThEsE fUcKiN mYsTeRiEs LiFe'S gOt FoR uS. CG: UUUUUUGH. CG: ANYWAY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S UP WITH THAT. CG: MAYBE I'LL TALK TO HIM TONIGHT ABOUT IT. MAYBE I WON'T. CG: IT'S PROBABLY JUST ANOTHER ONE OF HIS PROJECTS THAT WINDS UP BEING COMPLETELY USELESS AND A HUGE WASTE OF MY TIME.

(apologies if the text is hard to read on dark mode. i use cyber theme myself and cant see a word gamzee says here)

according to the pov cam, the next page karkat is on chronologically is 2058. the great team divide / team leader argument of hivebent has officially begun, with karkat and terezi. and in the end, it wont even matter at all. lmao.

CG: OK WELL CG: SPEAKING OF THAT CG: I SHOULD GO DOWNSTAIRS AND DEAL WITH THIS GRUMPY CUSTOMER. CG: IT'S GOING TO FONDLE MAJOR SEEDFLAP, BUT HOPEFULLY IT'LL BE QUICK. CG: YOU CAN ESTABLISH YOUR CONNECTION AND DO YOUR TRIVIAL SIDEKICK STUFF I GUESS IN THE MEANTIME. GC: OK! >:D

and apparently karkat intends to deal with his quite grumpy crabdad at the end of this conversation.

but then his computer explodes.

interesting. sburb equipment already? i suppose he was right:

CG: TEREZI AND I HAVE ALREADY ESTABLISHED A CONNECTION AND WE ARE MAKING GREAT PROGRESS HERE. CG: WE ARE A GREAT TEAM, AND I AM A FANTASTIC LEADER.

welp. guess he didnt have to deal with him after all. although the drawing on the fridge is very cute.

terezi has continued to make progress on his hive...

and he gets his new weapon...

only to find his toilet detached from its fixings.

GC: 1M YOUR S3RV3R PL4Y3R SO PR1OR1TY H4S TO B3 ON M3 G3TT1NG 1N TH3 G4M3 GC: B3FOR3 1 G3T K1LL3D BY M3T3ORS GC: 1N WH1CH C4S3 YOUD B3 SCR3W3D 1N TH3R3 GC: TH3N TH3 N3XT GUY COM3S 1N, TH3N TH3 N3XT GC: 4ND YOU BR1NG TH3 L4ST ON3 1N CG: WHOA WAIT, WHAT? CG: METEORS? CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. CG: WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH METEORS. GC: OH BOY YOU N33D TO G3T W1TH TH3 PROGR4M K4RK4T

karkat, i think you are a bit behind on what this game is going to be like. yet you are already on your planet despite that!

i gotta go now but ill be back

[loaisacult]

Hi uhm this might not be related to what you recently talk about in your loa post but uhm, I took the courage to talk about this through manifestation I got a boyfriend,I was desperate and he liked another girl.as stupid and selfish as I was i actually made him fall in love with me instead,at first he gave me flowers did all those romantic stuff and made me happy then gradually it grew worse,he became obsessed with me,which was okay until he tried to murder me,he would stalk me all day,not allow me go anywhere,try to rape me multiple times we've been dating for 5 years,the first four years it was amazing eventually he beat me up,yells at me and do all sorts of nasty things to me,one night because I threatened to leave him while I was sleeping he tried stabbing me with a knife but thankfully and I don't know how but I avoided it,I consulted a genuine spiritual person and she told me I'd done him wrong,I used manifestation for a wrong purpose and now the spirits of his ancestors were going against me which was crazy because I didn't really believe in witchcraft much,I mean I knew witchcraft but I still doubted it.I took the time to apologize to him even though he knew nothing of what I was saying,some days later he became normal again but I wasn't taking any chances so I broke up with him gently and got him together with the girl he actually likes who thankfully hadn't gotten a bf yet.another time I manifested death against my enemies,I mean I was angry then which is no excuse for my terrible behaviour but soon enough they began to fall ill one by one,vomitting blood,fainting for no reason,one ended up in a coma for a long time.i felt terrible because I know they hated me but who am I to take someone's life.one month later my mother got into an accident,my stepbrother almost died,I was stabbed on the shoulder,I would see worms and snakes all around me different kinds of irritating bugs,I had nightmares every single day and they didn't go away until I cried and confessed what I did people thought I was a crazy occultist and I had to run away from my hometown,now my mother who also knew loa doesn't wanna see me neither does my father. When I stopped to get myself I had gone too far although I'm a new person now and I have a great job and all which I achieved with my own hardwork.there will always be someone in my past who remembers what I did and tells it to others,that will forever haunt me

Honestly to all people out there using subliminals for attracting their crushes or manifesting the sp's if they don't love you leave them alone,whether you like them or not doesn't matter,leave them TF alone,attracting your yandere subliminal,stop manifesting bad things for people even if they do deserve it if Karma is real it will happen.most things comes with a cost, this I am God nonsense should stop,I know witches who are against this, it might not be today or tomorrow or in fifteen years but someday you'll regret it,have you ever stopped to wonder how all these happen,how manifestation,the void state happens,I'm not putting doubts in your end,have you ever wondered what the source of the void state comes from? Forget this universe,it came because I wanted it to nonsense you all just want a quick way out of your problems and never stop to think of who or what is behind everything

PS:use this as a notion to come out and tell your story don't be afraid, I'm not saying manifestation is bad,of course it isn't at least I don't think it is. Use the hashtag #ihaveastorytotell if you have a story to tell

Tbh idk what this is but I don’t recommend manifesting SPs either only building them from scratch.

it usually stems from low self concept and you’ll sabotage the relationship anyways

[neon-lights-stardust-nights]

I think I like how this idea of faers escape goes tbh

~.~.~

After Nygma received a panicked email from an account Crane had only ever used in short correspondences during tense alliances… Edward didn’t need to read the whole thing to know something was wrong. He’d recently gotten an actual chance to talk to Kronos again, and their conversation seemed to have the desired impact.

It’s Kronos. For the love of god, do not delete this email. I didn’t want to log into my own, I was afraid he’d notice somehow. Johnathan will likely still notice, but maybe he doesn’t read through his own sent emails very often? I’m stupid, who the fuck does that besides me.

It went on, I have decided. I want out. John’s not going to just let me go though, we both know that. I’m not asking you to send in the rescue brigade. You’ve been underground lately, laying low. I respect that. I just need help, somehow, someone. Doesn’t matter who at this point. Please, Ed.

And that’s all it said.

“Doesn’t matter who at this point,” that line stuck with him. For a moment, that felt like a subtle cry to send Batman in. Still, he wanted to review other options before jumping head first into the shitshow that might cause. Laid up in bed, legs bent to prop up his laptop while he typed away, Nygma spent a few days with headphones in on and off. Mostly doing research.

First order of business to him was if fae had any family worth scoffing at. Not really. He knew of faers Arkham stay, but next wanted details. He wouldn’t send Kronos to Arkham on purpose, but maybe emails and security footage could dig up anything. Any friends fae made during would be useful. A little part of him rooted for Two Face—Harvie was easy to negotiate with when you involved chaos, and Harvey’s malformed sense of justice could be manipulated. Getting into everything was easy (they really should up their cyber-security!) Nothing was worth looking at though. Everything mentioning faer never seemed to bring up anything worth scoffing at.

It was after that third day of combing through workers IMs emails and that Edward heard the phone ring. He wished the damn thing was less loud, heard well over the music he was playing. The volume button got a bit of abuse, him repeatedly pressing it to push the slider up until it hurt his ears a little. These things were cheap, but laying low meant not being able to replace his emergency over-ears for anything better.

Though Edward thought letting the phone ring out would be the end of it, he heard it over the roar of the bass drum regardless. Faint, covered by techno music, a sound from the outside world. His phone was ringing again. His eye twitched, focus on the transcripts of guards’ pointless banter wavering some as the annoying, shrill sound of his home phone played out.

The ringing ended. Edward held his breath, waiting. After a few moments, he let out the most contented sigh… Only to have such relaxation immediately shot dead by more ringing. The headphones came off, laptop pushed onto the mattresss.

“Alright, fine!” He stormed over, yanking the thing off the hook. It came up to his ear, and he decided to just let them have it: “whoever the hell you are, you must have too much free time! Can’t you get that I’m busy?”

“Hello, Edward.”

His blood ran cold. Hugo fucking Strange? He’d been incredibly careful! “How the hell did you get this number?”

“You aren’t the only one doing digging,” was the response he got. “You, however, have been sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.”

“And?”

“Why?”

Edward scoffed. “Rather domestic of you to just call me, isn’t it?”

“You’re dodging the question,” he pointed out.

“Because I’m not answering it,” Edward retorted.

“If what I’m being shown is correct, and I have every reason to believe it is… You’ve been snooping other places too.”

“Cut the crap, Strange. What’s stopping me from hanging up on you? Right here, right now?”

“Zacharie Ratkovic. Though, if I’m correct, fae prefers Kronos these days.” Edward’s silence was telling enough that he pressed further, “why?”

“What proof do you have that fae’s involved in this,” Edward bit back, a little too quickly.

“Practically everything I can trace back of your snooping is about faer. Legal information, medical documents, and the list goes on. I want to know why.”

“And I’m going to just tell you, because?”

Strange chuckled, “last I remember, Kronos escaped Arkham to reunite with a certain Johnathan Crane. Yet if your own emails are anything to go off of—“

“Jackass,” Edward groaned, grit teeth and exhaustion coming in clear through the phone.

Ignoring him, “—Kronos is looking to escape.”

“Whatever help you’re offering: no. I said I’d handle it, I’m gonna handle it!”

“I do not mean to trample your ego,” and the faux care put to his voice was nearly mocking to Edward. “But how exactly do you plan to wrench Crane’s prized possession from him without causing a ruckus?”

There was silence on both ends. Edward’s eyes narrowed as Strange broke it, smirk practically audible. “Don’t tell me you have no plan?”

“That’s what I was working on, you idiot! And I do have a worst-case-scenario sort of thing up my sleeve, but I’m obviously saving that for if nothing else looks promising!”

“And what is that exactly?”

“None of your fucking business, that’s what it is.”

Perhaps he was having a spot of fun, quoting the email at Nygma. “Doesn’t matter who at this point.”

“Oh my god, you’re looking right at it. You’re looking at the email right now, aren’t you? Rubbing it in my face. That’s exactly how you get a man to work with you, you insult him.”

“Quite frankly, I’ve put up with plenty of insults from you. I could always hangup, and pretend I never heard about this little escape plan.”

Edward sighed, rubbing at his forehead some with two fingers. He wouldn’t admit that the help would be nice, even if it weren’t Strange on the other end of the line. “What’s your grand plan, exactly?”

“Simple. I have the men and resources to storm his hiding place. They will either retrieve faer, or give faer the opening to escape on faers own.”

“Eloquent,” Edward mumbled with an eye roll, sarcasm dripping like honey from his words. “You just want faer to build you shit for yourself, don’t you? Bombs and bullets like what fae was supplying me, like what fae’s suck supplying Crane, and like fae could supply you.”

“It certainly sweetens the pot,” Strange mused, “but even if that is all I have to gain from this: do you have other options?”

“Sending a tip to Batman about a hostage sounds like an option.” Strange didn’t respond, which got a good chuckle from Nygma. “C’mon, didn’t you read it earlier? Doesn’t matter who it is I send to help, Kronos just wants out!”

“And send faer back to Arkham?” Strange tsk’d at him, “as though Kronos would forgive you from throwing faer from wolves to lions.”

“Shut up, alright?”

“You’re awfully intent on avoiding my offer.”

Edward threw an arm into the air, phone held to his ear by his other shoulder. “And you’re awfully intent to keep offering! Kronos is scared shitless of you, just as scared as fae is about a potential Arkham stay. How do we know he’s gonna do that, anyway? Maybe he’ll take pity on faer, drag faer back to wherever he lives. Poor thing’s probably gonna be six feet in fear toxin, and knowing him, he has a cure!”

“And there’s an equally likely chance that he will leave a hospital to sort out a very scared, drugged man. I simply would like to point out that either option will be uncomfortable, but pain often must be endured for the sake of progress.”

Edward paused. “Why am I arguing with you? You’re going to do this whether or not I let you.”

Something caught his eye. On his caller ID, another call that couldn’t come through because of Strange. With dawning horror, he realized that was Crane’s number. There’s only two reasons Crane could be calling right now…

“I may have already started the arrangements.”

“You got his IP address way before I ever started snooping through anything belonging to Arkham,” Edward whispered.

“Perhaps. Or I acquired it when I caught your wandering eye. You don’t really know, do you?”

“I don’t like the answer either way.”

“This has been fun,” and Edward was stuck staring back at his laptop. “Goodbye, Edward.”

He didn’t say anything. He just slammed the phone back into place, rushing to his living room. Anything that large scale would end up on television. Laptop with him, he closed out all those old transcripts. Now he was trying to hack into cameras, into anything that could at least let him make sure he didn’t doom faer.

[hismercytomyjustice]

…goddammit, it’s already at almost 4500 words and I am not even close to the actual plot I had planned for it…

How could this happen to me, I made my mistakes, got nowhere to run…. ( ༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ )

It’s not my fault. Everyone was too nice to me and now I’ve lost control of my life! It’s everyone else’s fault! For being too nice! Be meaner!!!

Except don’t because then I will fake my death and hide in the woods forever. orz. And once again I will recreate myself in the image of herjusticetomymercy. Tbh I’ve threatened it enough at this point I should probably grab the url just in case lol.

But holy shit I cannot believe how many people have said nice stuff to me about this series??? Like omfg??? HOW? WHY? WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE?!

My fics almost never break 300 kudos. It has happened exactly twice before this. And one of those was a 50k+ word fanfic across 25 chapters. I still have no fucking clue how the WWDITS oneshot broke 500 kudos. Forever fucking baffled but gleeful about that.

I mean, I was def hoping my BG3 fic would do at least as well as my Cardcaptors fic because it’s for a bigger fandom and I have been so fucking #blessed to have so many amazing regular readers and commenters who literally make my fucking day every time I update. ( ˃̣̣̥︿˂̣̣̥ ) I get so fucking excited to see what my semi-voluntary (in that I have recruited them without their knowledge, sorry y’all) fanfic bffs will think of each chapter. It’s why I’m so sad it’ll be wrapping up in the next month or so.

Even if it stopped getting kudos or any new readers on my BG3 fic completely tomorrow, I’d still want to finish posting it just to share it with my regulars! It feels like being part of a little book club except I’m building the story as we go, lol. It is the FUCKING BEST!!! God I fucking hope folks like the ending. I will survive either way, but I’m so fucking happy with it and I feel like it wraps things up really well and I hope I’m not just delusional lmaooooo. Shut the fuck up OCD!

I know I should write first and foremost for myself because if I don’t enjoy the process, what the fuck is the point??? But at the same time, HOLY SHIT IT IS NICE TO BE EXTERNALLY VALIDATED! And I really wasn’t expecting it with my HH series at all. I mean, I def hoped but didn’t expect. I legit thought part four was gonna be the one that finally got me hate comments on AO3 lol. And then it had like eight kudos before I went to bed after posting it and I was just like “Oh thank fuck, I’m not gonna be chased off by an angry mob and be told I’ll never write fanfic in this town again!” Or at least eight people out of the entire rest of the internet aren’t willing to revoke my fanfic writing license yet, haha.

And even writing this part, having a better idea of what folks have liked in the prior ones, it’s still fucking terrifying! And I know that’s my stupid OCD. Because so much of my self-worth is tied up in wanting to write well, be it fanfic or otherwise. And I KNOW it shouldn’t matter so long as I’m having fun! BUT STILL. My therapist would say something at this point like “but you’re having fun aren’t you” or “you have four other parts that show people have enjoyed what you wrote so far, so what are the odds this is the one that makes them all rethink that stance?” And all I have to say in reply is “ocd go brrr!”

But that’s why I post about this shit on here. Because it’s embarrassing but also because I am making myself confront my brain gremlins when they want to pull me down. ╰( °ㅂ°)╯ Because OCD feeds off of fear/insecurity/shame and by confronting it in a semi-public forum I’m making myself acknowledge it (NOT AVOID!) and defuse it! Instead of just tying myself into increasingly intricate mental knots.

EASIER SAID THAN DONE BUT IT’S SOMEHOW WORKED THIS FAR, SO…. _(┐「ε:)_

…well, I went from having no ETA whatsoever for part five to having already written 1k for it today, so…it might be finished sooner than I thought…

Tho I’m going to be out of town this weekend, so it probably won’t be up this weekend.

Assuming I somehow master the art of self control during that time…

I still gotta edit this upcoming week’s BG3 chapter too… Do not wanna cut it down to the wire again.

…lord help us all…