#I never really leave fandoms at all but my level of interest is definitely variable

[bubbletune6]

does anyone else’s current hyper fixation correspond to their mental health level?

like I’ll often go back to fandoms from when I was younger that I was heavily involved in when I’m not doing great mentally?

It also means I’m terrible at starting new shows 😅 sorry to all of my friends who’ve recommended shows to me over the years

[gay-tanuki-aus]

 Soulmate AU

Setting: School

It is said that the first thing, whatever it may be, said to you by your soulmate, would be imprinted onto your inner forearm like a tattoo. So there may be instances where the first things said might be super vague, something like "hey" or "hi". Then there were also the super-specific ones like "I remember seeing you at the bar last night, you were gorgeous, but I didn't think to say hi- so it's funny how we're meeting here again at a supermarket in the grocery lane." Last but not least, there were ones where it was just plain confusing.

"'Hi, I was wondering what kind of program you used?' I mean, who even asks that the first time they meet?" Ally groans as she stares at her forearm. No matter how much she thought about it, it just seemed impossible. It was always said that your soulmate was who you'd spend the rest of your life with and that you'd be lucky if you ever met your soulmate in your teenage years. Not many meet their soulmate this early on, after all, the world is so big, to make sure the two people meet, would need many variables to align. This made Ally feel slightly better about not meeting her soulmate yet, even though that particular sentence still confused her. It led her to wonder what kind of circumstances she and her soulmate would meet in.

At this time, Donut was also wondering about her soulmate. 'CSP'. That's it. That's all that is written. What baffled her the most, however, wasn't the short 3 lettered word or acronym. It was the fact that she didn't know what CSP meant. It wasn't like she didn't try searching online either, but all she got was "content security policy". Content security policy?? In what world would the first thing your soulmate say to you be content security policy? Did that mean she would have to try and get a job in that? Or maybe she just had to ask her soulmate what the acronym for content security policy was. No, that'd just be plain stupid. Imagine going up to everyone and asking that. Donut laughs a little at the thought, but she can't help but wonder if that's really how she'd find her soulmate?

Thankfully for both, it didn't take long for them to meet. As fandom people, it was only normal to be producing and enjoying fanart and fanfictions. So that's exactly how, and when it happened. It was at lunch, Donut decided to go to the Steven Universe fan club. She always enjoyed walking through the club room looking at the fanart which usually lined the club room walls. As she scanned through them, a certain fanart caught her eye. Intrigued, she had tapped a nearby person to ask them who drew it, and they pointed her to a girl- Ally not far off, sitting at one of the tables scribbling away.

Walking up, Donut decides to start the conversation up different. "Hi, I was wondering what kind of program you used?"

"CSP." Ally answers without looking up. Neither had realized what just happened until a second later Ally looks up almost aggressively. This only confirmed Donut's thoughts as she let out a small gasp.

"You're my soulmate???" Donut asks almost unbelievingly.

"Ok, but why are you taller." Ally seemed conflicted. "No, I mean- un-ask me that- please!"

"WH- I can't just un-ask you something like that!" Donut almost laughs at the absurdity of the request, but also slightly disappointed at her reaction. Did that mean Ally wasn't her soulmate? Or maybe they weren't meant to be soulmates? It is often said that one would feel a spark when they met their soulmate, but none of what was supposed to happen was happening.

"Oh, right, sorry, that was rude." Ally apologizes almost embarrassed but seemingly deflated.

"Oh pfft, don't sweat it, it's good! You see, so many people can ask you the same thing- so it probably isn't even me, I mean there are so many people on earth- y'know?? I'm sure you'll find the right soulmate." Donut says starting to ramble in an attempt to cheer Ally up. "Plus, we can just be soul mates with a space in between. Yes. We will be great friends or mates in this case!"

And that's what they did. They became soul mates. Kind of like when one would say 'Oh, this is my girl friend, with a space in between the girl, and the friend.' They would talk for hours on end about their ocs, and that's when Donut realized something was wrong. Something very wrong indeed, she may or may not be catching some unwanted feelings for her soul mate. Which was wrong. So what does a normal person do when they figure out something is wrong? They deny it.

"Yeah, then there's that boundary between acquaintances and friends." Ally says thoughtfully. The two were currently sitting at lunch talking about different types of relationships.

"I have like- friendship tiers I list everyone in. As you said, there are acquaintances, then there are friends. For me, there are three levels of friends: 'just met', close friends, and best friends. Then there is the slightly different topic of girlfriends. For instance, Theo would be a close friend." Donut starts to list off a few more examples as Ally listens, "And you- y'know you're like a super great friend, but I wouldn't date you. I mean, it's not like we're actually soulmates." She adds shrugging a little.

"Yep." Ally nods and that was the conversation; their attention brought back to fangirling over their ocs. If Donut could give herself a rating on how she did, she'd say she did pretty good, except she didn't.

A few months pass and Donut realizes her feelings were back, or more accurately, never left. So she decided, if Ally was interested in someone already, she'd just be a good friend and her ultimate wingman, but if Ally wasn't, she'd ask her out or something. Or not, since she's an awkward gay.

"So do you have a crush on anyone right now-" Donut had started the conversation, she'd ask every now and then just out of curiosity, except this time, she was going to make a decision afterwards.

"Huh, I mean everyone has one right, so I guess." The two were sitting at lunch again, just talking and enjoying each other's company.

Donut took a bite of her sandwich before looking back at Ally, "Oh?? So you do have one?" Now she was curious about who caught her soul mate's eye. "Who is it?" She asked almost a little too curious.

Ally didn't think much of it, however, and just shook her head. "I'm not telling you."

"Whaaaat- why not??" Donut whines. She really wanted to know now, who the mysterious person was.

"Why do you want to know so badly??" Ally crosses her arms almost defensive, but more flustered.

"Because I'm curious!" Donut exclaims. "I mean, you'd be the same if I said 'Hey Ally, I have a crush too.'" Lunch was almost over by this time, but hopefully, she could figure out who it was before then. Maybe a little push would help.

"You do? Who is it?" It was Ally's turn to be curious. "Y'know you should totally just ask them out, if it were me, I'd just ask my crush out."

"Yeah right." Donut snorts. "Like YOU would actually go up to your crush and just ask them out. That's not something the Ally I know would do." Donut teases Ally nudging her playfully.

"Shut up!" Ally clicks her tongue. "You are underestimating this gay. I would definitely ask them out. Anyways, what's your crush like huh? Since it doesn't seem like you'd be telling me the name."

"You're right I won't," Donut says with a smug look. "And I ain't telling you none of that." She was wrong. They spent the rest of the lunchtime talking about what their crushes were like. Right before the bell rings, Donut decides to go for it. "Wait-"

"Yeah?" Ally asks turning around, she was getting ready to go to class, but she decided that could wait. "What is it?"

"Good- luck in class!" Donut says after hesitating. She was going to ask Ally out, but on second thought, she could wait until later, or just not do so at all. She's pretty good at procrastinating anyways.

"Really now, I saw you hesitate." Ally crosses her arms in front of her chest. School can wait, whatever Donut was going to say had to be way more interesting than spending an entire hour in class listening to the teacher drone on about a random subject.

"IT'S NOTHING OK, GO TO CLASS." Donut was extremely flustered by now, she didn't think Ally would think too much of it, and now it seemed like she would have to tell her what she was going to say. Ally laughs a little and that makes Donut blush even more. "D-don't laugh!"

"Well it's funny watching you struggle for words, it doesn't happen a lot." Ally snickers some more. "So what's up my soul mate?" She had an idea what this was about, but she didn't want to ruin the fun.

"You're enjoying this aren't you- Oh my god. YOU'RE SO MEAN. I'M REALLY STRUGGLING HERE. Alright. I'll tell you, but if you laugh I'm leaving." Donut grumbles as Ally nods and laughs again. "Well uh, I think you're really cute- and like full homo-"

"There you go. Congrats." Ally giggled. "But really, I wasn't expecting this."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember when we had that conversation?"

"Which conversation- we've had many." Donut frowns trying to remember what Ally could be talking about.

"You said and I quote, 'You're like a super great friend, but I wouldn't date.'"

"That was-" Donut stammers completely forgetting they had that conversation, she then lets out an audible groan attempting to cover her face. "And like-"

"Yes?"

"Do you wanna like- go out with me?"

"I don't know hmmm-" Ally pretends to think about it. "What should I do..."

"C'MON ALLY. It's a yes or no question- the ones you're good at?" She then repeats in a slightly mocking but joking tone. "'Hey Ally, cats or dogs?' 'Yes'"

"Wooooow, don't make fun of me." Ally shakes her head in mock disappointment. "So rude. And I can't believe you don't want to be soul mates with a space anymore, I'm hurt."

Donut rolls her eyes a smile tugging at her lips. "So...?"

"Well- I have to go to class right now, so I'll let you know after school ok?? I'll definitely think hard on it." Ally winks as she turns to head to her class. Donut nods and gathers her stuff as well, there wasn't much time left to get to class before she was considered tardy. But that was hardly her concern at the moment. This whole thing had gone way better than Donut thought, and she was glad that Ally didn't flat out reject her which would've been quite devastating. On second thought, she also couldn't help but think maybe they really were soulmates.

TO BE CONTINUED...

(Because I can't write that much in one sitting plus I haven't spell checked anything so-)

[asiryn]

this post is going to be very rambly, so i apologize in advance. if you’re potentially interested in my liveblogs, and/or interested in hearing a bit about my current life and disability issues, tune in. if you aren’t, then....keep scrolling i guess XD

(if you just want the current liveblog schedule, scroll to the bottom)

[and this got predictably very long, so i’m gonna put it behind a cut for convenience] 

up to recently, my main liveblogs have been about the pokemon anime, with a few other shows, books, and especially video games sprinkled in here and there. essentially, waaaay back in yonder year of 2014, netflix added the first season of pokemon, the indigo league, to their site, and i, in a fit of nostalgia, made the veeery questionable decision to watch all of the pokemon anime---rewatching the stuff i hadn’t touched since i was kid, and then continuing on into the unknown, and watching all the seasons from gen 3 onward that i had missed due to dropping out of pokemon. i only really started actually making liveblog posts once i hit gen 3, then i stayed consistent-ish from then onward. (for the curious, i’m up to sun & moon, and i have 44 episodes left until i finish it (i’m not ready ;;;; ), and then netflix actually just dropped the first 12 episodes of the newest series, pokemon journeys, so....56 until i’ve caught up with the dub XD)

so, all of y’all who climbed aboard with those liveblogs are probably already aware of Who I Am, at least a little. (....this is making it sound like i’m Some Big Name in liveblogging, but i’m not really anything of the sort, just so we’re all on the same page XD) at least, in terms of the fact that i’m physically disabled, suffer from chronic pain, etc. but recently, i’ve joined two new fandoms, and i’ve begun liveblogging spop and my next life as a villainess. and my spop posts in particular are already becoming some of the most popular posts i’ve ever done (like wow, you guys). and i think part of that popularity is due to the fact that these are two pretty recent, pretty popular fandoms (tho i do also like to think that i do make good content XP). but the point is that quite a lot of new ppl are coming across me, and idk how much, if any, of you have taken the time to look at my bio or anything. so i guess....part of this post is just some ruminations, but also my way of letting you know more of what you’re getting into. 

so, for those who don’t know: hi, you can call me kiryn, i liveblog stuff sometimes, and i’m physically disabled. i suffer from intense, constant, chronic pain. it stems from a bone disease called HME, or hereditary multiple exostosis, if you’re curious (i have a severe case of it, joy of joys). the short version of what that means is that i have a lot of bone spurs everywhere on my body, and they....cause me a lot of pain. basically, i cannot do any kind of sustained activity without the already significant, never-ceasing pain that i feel cranking up to unbearable levels, and basically i’ll be rendered immobile. i do have pain meds that i take, and that very much help to take the edge off, and make it so that i can function at all (bc, believe fucking me, w/o them, i wouldn’t be able to achieve even the little i can do), but even with them, it only makes a dent in my pain levels, and again, sustained activity makes up that difference very quickly. 

now, the gist of this stuff i’ll mention from time to time, but....i don’t usually go into much detail about it (and this post is probably the most detailed i’ve been about my condition in years). bc, quite frankly, it’s depressing. (and seeing as i also already have clinical depression, that’s definitely not something that i need more of XD) i participate in fandoms for escapism, and bc i don’t really want to think about that crushing mountain of reality. i’ve had this condition since birth, and i’ve literally lived my entire life in constant pain, and i honestly have no fucking idea what it even feels like to be painless. and what’s even worse is that it’s a degenerative disease---essentially, the bone spurs are wearing down my joints, so....my entire condition will just keep worsening as i get older. (and no, surgery to remove the spurs isn’t really an option.) i’ll be 29 next month, and i can already tell you, i’ve been feeling that decline sharply. when i was a kid, i could still run. by the time i was a teenager, i couldn’t even do that anymore; the best i could manage was a jog. now....i don’t think i could even do that. 

i guess the main point in why i’m saying all this, is that for the last year especially, i’ve been dealing with the worst downward swing that i’ve had in years. in my late teens and early-mid 20s, i got into a pretty good rhythm, of knowing my body’s limits, how to budget spoons to accomplish things, etc. but now even that fragile equilibrium has been thrown out the window, and i’m currently struggling to learn the new limits and rhythm of this downward swing that is unfortunately now my reality. even before, i was pretty limited on what i could accomplish, but even that narrow window has shrunk even further. so basically, i’m in the testing zone still. and it’s a very slow process, bc once i exceed the limit, my body breaks down, and now it takes me even longer to recover. as an example, i used to know that i could wake up in the morning and get ready to leave the house in 20-30 mins. now? i need at least an hour, which involves me pushing through a wave of agony to be able to take my pain meds in the first place, and then wait for those meds to kick in and the pain to die down enough to move without feeling like i’m moving through a wall of spikes. (and that’s just the start of every day for me, and before even throwing in all of the other variables)

so, coming back to the liveblogs......obviously, that’s affected by all this too. if you’ve wondered why there’s been a gap between me finishing up spop s1 and starting s2....that’s why. partly, i didn’t expect how analysis-heavy i was going to get on spop; pokeani just doesn’t tend to be as consistently thematically deep, so those liveblogs took far less out of me than spop has, and pushing myself to finish 5 episodes in one day....well, it was too much. and the thing is, it’s obviously unhealthy for me to continually push myself to the point of total breakdown, so...that’s where learning my new limits comes in. so, these past few days, i’ve been thinking, and essentially trying to better figure out how to do liveblogs like this without pretty much killing myself in the process (bc i honestly do love making them....i mean, if i didn’t, then it really wouldn’t be worth the literal pain it takes to make them XD). and also there’s a component of managing my anxiety-brain, bc leaving things Unfinished stresses me out, and so when coming to terms with the fact that it’s going to take me awhile to finish one show....knowing that i’d be leaving others hanging....Doesn’t Help XD

so, here’s what i’ve got so far (and obvs, this is subject to much tweaking in the future XP)

currently, i’m watching 4 shows: pokeani, good omens, villainess, and spop. villainess rn is the least of my worries, bc 1 ep is coming out a week, so it’s not demanding a lot of my time. 

for the other 3, here’s the preliminary schedule i’ve sort of hashed out:

- pokeani sm103-106

- spop s2

- pokeani sm107-110

- spop s3 

- pokeani sm111-114

- spop s4

- pokeani sm115-118

- spop s5 

- pokeani sm119-122

- good omens

- pokeani sm123-126

- [catch up block] (i don’t have a good track record in keeping up with ongoing shows, so if i fall behind on villainess, this is where i can catch up)

- finish pokeani sun & moon [sm127-146] (the league starts on ep 128, so i’d rather not experience any big interruptions in the battles XD)

basically, i’ve given myself a limit of 4 pokeani eps in a single session (bc as stated, they don’t take as much out of me), and with spop, the most i’ll let myself watch in a row will be 3 eps (s2 will probably be broken up into a 3/2/2 block, s3 a 3/3 block, and s4&5 will be a 3/3/3/2/2 block).

now, keep in mind that i’m very deliberately making no guarantees about specific days, bc who even knows, but at the very least, scheduling and talking it all out like this will help me to better manage my spoons, and if you’ve actually read this far, then you’ll know the method in the madness and why i’m doing things this way. XD the vague goal is to get in a least 1 liveblog session a week (plus a bonus of the new villainess ep on saturdays)---at least for the shows. i’m still having to working out what i’m going to do about video games....maybe i should just go on a ‘once a week’ model for all my hobbies across the board XDD

in the next couple of days, i’ll be posting that in-depth look into all the ships of villainess (it started as me just pecking down a few thoughts while i was taking a social media break due to the Current Events, but now i’m at the point where i’m like, i’ve put too much effort into this to not post it, damn it XP), and then depending on spoons, i’ll try to start in on that schedule this week, so stay tuned for some pokeani! (again....i’ll try to hit at least 1 liveblog a week before i start trying to get more ambitious XDD)

in any case, if you have stuck through to the end, thank you very much. your support means a lot to me 💖

[xtattlecrimex-blog]

Why Do You Keep Doing This?

A lot of people wonder why I keep doing this. I know a good portion of it is just fascination. Hannibal is one of the lesser known TV shows it’s a cult show. I’m aware that there are a lot of shows like this but honestly, this has got to be one of the worst fandoms (if not the worst) I’ve ever come across. The behavior of the majority of these people is unparalleled to any other fandom I’ve personally been in or witnessed. Now, one of the biggest arguments people throw at me all the time is “There are crazy idiots in every fandom” which I’m not even denying but in these fandoms the vast majority of the fans aren’t crazy. The Fannibals are a different story.

See, Hannibal is a cult show. I’ve already discussed how it caters to people with mental illness as well as attracts them. It glamorizing significant behavioral issues that are violent and criminal so it makes these women who are watching the show feel like they are safe. Like they are okay. Like they are special because they are also incredibly mentally unstable. It normalizes and romanticizes abuse. It gives severely abnormal people something to cling to and a community of other severely mentally ill women to be friends with so they can all reside in an echo chamber where all of them are normal and it’s the world that is wrong. It created a community of these people who have the inability to be able to see how incredibly obnoxious (and sometimes terrifying) their behavior actually is. Even more, it’s all perpetuated and encouraged by the creator of the show which also isn’t the norm at all.

If you take another fandom, and my favorite “Go-To” Fandom for this example is Supernatural, you will see the creator doesn’t advocate that behavior. At all. The stars of the show also have historically refused to put up with the crazy girls. Are there really crazy Supernatural fans? Yes. Are they the vast majority of the fandom? Not in the least. That’s what separates the Fannibals from another fandom with crazy fan girls. We are talking majority versus minority. Even in other fandoms for other cult TV shows (or movies) you still won’t find that the majority of the people are insane like the fannibals and even if you could you wouldn’t find the creator getting on Twitter and going to conventions to encourage the crazy behavior. We have a combination of an egotistical, power hungry show creator who ships  his own fictional characters as much as his insane fans. This is practically unheard of and when anyone complains and I ask them to name me just one other creator who has ever behaved this way, well they are very hard pressed to do it.

Then, of course, the question that comes up next is “who is this harming?” well at lot of people. It’s actually, in real life, harming a lot of people. This fandom (and groups like this in general) typically do. If it’s not some kind of scam that’s being run to trick people out of their money then it also gives room for sexual predators to move in and prey on easy targets. Young girls who are so blinded by their love of the show that they don’t realize that hanging out with a 45 year old women who wants to read them erotic gay fan fiction is a very weird thing to do. It also has the potential to harm many more people, and of course, the actual cast of the show. Things can get out of control super easily with a situation like this, especially when it’s being encouraged by the creator of the show and to some extent the actors themselves. The actors who I’m pretty sure aren’t super aware of how bad it gets behind the scenes. Even if one can plainly see the “deer in the headlights” look that Hugh Dancy obviously gets when he’s accosted by these people, he probably doesn’t know all the details.

I would highly doubt that Hugh or Mads actually know the extent of how deep this runs for these girls who are tracking them down. That we have women who 100% believe that these men are gay for each other and Bryan Fuller is some type of catalyst that brought them together for a secret love affair. That this isn’t fan fiction to them that this is reality. That these Fannibals are not afraid at all to send death threats, dox people, or attempt to destroy the lives of any person who doesn’t agree with them. That this is a religion for some these people. That some of them are so invested they are writing letters every day to TV networks to try to get them to pick up the show, that they build literal shrines to these actors and characters in their houses to pay tribute to, that they cosplay constantly and have no actual life outside of this fictional world. No, I don’t think Hugh and Mads understand or even know to what lengths these fans are going to in order to keep this up. Not at all. Some idea? Maybe, but not the exact idea. Which is okay given the fact that I really wouldn’t want them to find out. It would be pretty horrifying.

If people want to admit it, or not, this behavior is definitely harmful to people and could turn downright psychotic at any moment it’s hard to tell. If you take the statistics on stalking, for example, that’s such and unknown variable of danger. There’s actually no way of telling when or if it’ll escalate. Some stalkers always remain at the same level, some perpetually escalate until they commit a crime, some just suddenly lose interest and go away for ever never actually harming anyone. There’s no way to predict this, no way to know who’s dangerous, and no way to tell when or if it will climb to the level of actual murder. This is all backed by data. If this is the case, then who’s to tell me that any one of these people doing the stalking (and there’s a bunch) won’t, one day, decide they can’t live without Hugh Dancy and stab him? If you think this is any sort of overreaction you can look up the dozens of cases where this has happened, including to actual actors. No one ever see it coming because it is just that unpredictable but it’s far from unheard of.

The problem is, that because this fandom is so small and there’s only a couple hundred women doing it, it flies under the radar. No one seems to care. Plus, they are women. They get a free pass. Everyone just assumes they are harmless little wallflowers being “normal fan girls” and I need to just leave them alone because they aren’t going to do anything. Psychological and statistical data says otherwise. As much as I can agree there is no telling if or when they may escalate I can certainly show a pattern of escalation from several of these women. How they were when they first started and how they are now. You don’t actually know how dangerous they are, neither do I, and no one is keeping an eye on them because everyone assumes that it’s stupid to do so. That they are just fans of a show and that’s it. I can tell you if this was a group of men going after two women constantly to hound them for pictures or bug them about a cancelled TV show they did years and years ago, people would take notice and everyone would be a lot more concerned, but it’s no the case with them because they are women. Massive double standards.

People commonly forget that for the entire first season I was a part of the fandom. I was one of them. People commonly forget that I’ve seen this behavior, first hand, on several occasions. People think, for some reason, that all I’m doing here is guessing based on speculation when that’s not what I’m doing. I can tell you from very first hand experience, not only running my blog but in real life, a huge portion of these people are terrifying, some are psychotic, and some are sexual predators. To turn a blind eye to it under the assumption that they aren’t harming anyone (or going to) or they haven’t ever harmed anyone is ludicrous. Why? Why do that? If you see a problem why turn away from it? Why not keep an eye on it? Bystander apathy is deadly and I, for one, refuse to be a part of it.

Maybe nothing will come of this, maybe one day they will all suddenly grow up and realize that this is fucking stupid and Hannibal isn’t coming back, Bryan Fuller is a liar, and Mads Mikkelsen and Hugh Dancy are just people who need to be left alone. That day is not today and until that day comes I’m going to keep watching them, because someone should be watching them. They are terrifying.

[roninkairi]

Better Fights Than Superman Vs. Goku

As long as comic books and manga exists, there will be at least two people arguing about who can take who in a fight. That is a constant that I have learned.

In fandom, there are debates about the levels of power heroes and villains have, the types of feats they have to qualify for a win and loss, morals, strategies, and so on. However, while there is many debates and many matchups that have been put out there, there is one that I can never seemingly have a pure definitive answer for myself: Superman vs. Son Goku.

I’m not going to bore you with the background story for these two heroes. And, to be frank, I don’t really think I’m going to give you a definitive answer about the type of fight these two can have. There are so many variables to consider, not to mention the history these two have (and considering that Dragon Ball Super, a new manga/anime series, is giving Goku new powers to use, I’m not even going to try to gauge their strengths at this moment), picking a winner for me boils down to “who do I like more” and I can’t really do it.

Also: I’M GETTING BORED ABOUT DEBATING THIS.

So, what am I doing? Simple really; I’m proposing other worthwhile matches that you should consider discussing. The following are fights I think are more worthy of debate for fans of comics/cartoons and anime/manga and should make for some interesting questions and analysis. You may be surprised by some of the fights I propose. First up-

 Iron Fist (Marvel)  vs. Might Guy (Naruto)

  This one was not taken lightly by me, especially given what I know of the two.  Danny Rand, a martial arts master, manipulates chi and the power of the dragon Shou-Lao to enhance his body and his abilities to super hero levels. Might Guy, a taijutsu master, can tap into the 8 Gates, which can grant him even greater superhuman strength, speed and agilitiy. And given what Guy does during the events of the 4th Shinobi War, Danny would really be tested.

 Samurai Jack vs. Goemon (Lupin the 3rd)

 I know a lot of you know who Jack is, but you probably may be thinking “Who da hell is GOEMON?” I’ll give you a heads up: Goemon is based on a historical figure, Goemon Ishikawa. (His full name in the series is Goemon Ishikawa XIII). Like Jack, he is a samurai swordsman who is a skilled fighter (Both of these guys are trained in multiple styles) And like Jack, he has a mystical type of sword. (Zantetsuken, a sword made from a meteorite, which can slice through anything) And if you think Jack’s feats were remarkable, you ought to see all the crazy stuff Goemon has been up to in the entire history of the Lupin the 3rd series. (To give you a small example, he has cut through skyscrapers, tanks, squads of armed men and LIGHTNING. I shit you not on that one.) It was no accident that there is a character in Samurai Jack that is based on two Lupin the 3rd characters. I would not be surprised if Jack was inspired by Goemon too.

 Popeye vs. Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece)

 Another fight that a friend of mine, Katie, had suggested in the past and, quite honestly, this one is more interesting. Two men of the ocean, both of questionable intelligence, fighting it out to see who is the baddest man to sail the seven seas. And also both are ridiculously durable. Seriously, ever see what Popeye goes through WITHOUT eating the spinach? And Luffy can take some serious beatings. (Look up with fight with Rob Lucci)

HOWEVER…there is one other opponent I’d like to see take on the captain of the Straw Hat Pirates.

 Reed Richards vs. Monkey D. Luffy

 This is a little more logical as both have similar powers. The key difference here is that while Reed Richards may have the intelligence to constantly have Doctor Doom curse his name, Luffy is more of a fighting type of brilliant. And that’s actually important considering all of the opponents that he has bested in combat who are way more intelligent than him. It would be interesting to see how Reed would fare.

Ok this next choice…this one is a doozy because well…just see for yourself.

                                                                      Freakazoid vs. Bobobo (Bobobo Bo Bo-bobo)

 There is no possible way I could accurately describe the chaos involved in a fight like this. For starters, Freakazoid works on a level of random comedic genius we don’t get to see that often and the character himself can’t quite be defined in a conventional term other than “batshit crazy”. And on the other side, we have a manga series that operates purely on frequent and random acts of pure comedic insanity. (Seriously, Fist of the Nose Hair.) In order for me to even consider writing the script for this fight, I would need to be stoned out of my mind. Or, barring that, tripping on serious peyote. But lets face it, it would be funny. So funny it would be illegal.

 Now, strictly speaking one of the people involved in this one is from a book series. I’m going to let it slide on the basis that the other series stared as a Light Novel.

 Lord Voldermort (Harry Potter) vs. Lina Inverse (The Slayers)

 One of these people is a powerful master of magic, wielding powers far beyond our comprehension, whose very name strikes terror in even the most fearsome of creatures and has been responsible for a lot of destruction, leaving even towns burning behind. The other is Voldermort.

Both of these people are respective geniuses at their craft and have gained knowledge of various magic styles. What separates them however is morals; yes Lina DOES have morals despite the fact she likes getting paid handsomely for her services and DESPITE her many nicknames (Like “Enemy of All Who Live”, “Lina The Pink”, “Lina The Bandit Killer”, “Empress of Destruction”, “Natural Disaster Mage”, “No Breasts Demon”—)

Me: Oh shit, I didn’t mean to—

Lina: DRAGON SLAVE!!!!!

…as I was saying, the very lovely noble and kind magic user who is merciful to all her foes (I am NOT typing this for fear of my life by the way) has morals whereas Voldermort has no qualms about doing anything to get what he wants. (Dude was willing to a baby because it may have been a threat to him. There’s no grey area there.) Plus, despite being nigh immortal, Voldermort would be hard pressed to fight a mage who knows spells that can hurt your very soul.

 So there you have it, some of my choices for a better fight than Superman vs. Goku. And before I go, here is the joke fight that, admittedly, I would be happy to see…

                                                   Perry the Platypus vs. Kyuubey

…face it, it would be AWESOME.