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stylesispunk · 4 months ago

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"Did the love affair maim you too?"

Joel miller x f!reader

next part

Summary: Joel doesn't like you until he loses all his memories.

w.c: 14k> (longest piece I've written and my eyes are dry)

warnings: fluff, mention of amnesia, memory loss, ANGST and angst, and more angst because I love angst. There is smut but you already know I'm bad at writing that. No proof reading, I'm lazy, sorry.

a/n: hello! I got inspired by this "memory loss" type of story. It was supposed to be a one shoot, but I had to split the whole thing so another part is more likely to happen. I know there has been some drama surrounding writers and I want to say that every single person who writes and makes an art with that is amazing! Everyone who is reading this, please give creators here your flowers. With that being said, Happy reading or not 😭💌 Reblogs and comments are always appreciated. (come on, talk to me)

dividers by @saradika-graphics

Joel didn't used to hate women, but man, when he met you for the first time, you crawled under his skin. He had fun with you, making jokes, trying to get on your nerves. For his hell, everyone in Jackson loved you; after all, you were the nurse and the sweetheart. Always looking after everyone, always being sweet to everyone.

It was a sunny afternoon when you first arrived in Jackson, your kind demeanor and skilled hands quickly gaining the trust and admiration of the townsfolk. Joel watched from a distance with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. He couldn't understand why everyone was so taken with you. To him, you seemed too soft, too gentle for the brutal world they lived in.

"Hey, Joel," Tommy called out one day, pulling Joel from his brooding thoughts. "We're heading out on patrol. You should meet the new nurse. She's something else."

Joel grunted in response, not bothering to hide his disinterest. He didn't need to meet you to know what kind of person you were. In his mind, you were just another naive newcomer who wouldn't last a week.

But fate had other plans. That very evening, a group of raiders attacked the outer perimeter. The town was thrown into chaos, and Joel found himself side by side with you, defending the walls. He couldn't help but notice your bravery and the way you handled yourself under pressure.

After the attack, as the town counted its injuries and losses, you worked tirelessly, tending to the wounded. Joel watched you, his irritation growing as he saw the way everyone fawned over you, thanking you for your care.

"Think you're some kind of hero, huh?" Joel muttered as he approached you, his voice laced with sarcasm.

You looked up at him, exhaustion evident in your eyes, but you offered a small, tired smile. "Just doing my job, Joel."

"Your job?" Joel scoffed. "You think patching up a few cuts and bruises is going to keep these people safe? This world doesn't care how sweet you are."

You met his gaze, unwavering. "And what would you have me do, Joel? Let them suffer? We're all trying to survive here, and we all have our roles to play."

Joel huffed and walked away, but your words lingered in his mind. Despite himself, he couldn't deny that you were right. Over the following weeks, Joel continued to watch you, his annoyance slowly giving way to a grudging respect. He noticed how you never backed down, how you always stood your ground, even when faced with his relentless jabs.

One day, during a particularly harsh winter storm, you and Joel were sent out on a supply run. The weather was brutal, and the path was treacherous. As the wind howled around you, Joel found himself instinctively moving closer, his protective instincts kicking in despite his irritation.

"Watch your step," he warned, his voice gruff.

You nodded, shivering against the cold. "Thanks, Joel."

As you both trudged forward, the wind picked up, and visibility dropped to almost nothing. You focused on placing one foot in front of the other, barely able to see Joel a few steps ahead. Suddenly, you heard a sharp crack and a thud.

"Joel!" you shouted, fear gripping your heart.

Rushing forward, you found Joel lying on the ground, unconscious, blood trickling from a gash on his forehead. He must have slipped on the ice and hit his head on a rock hidden beneath the snow.

Panic set in, but you forced yourself to stay calm. You needed to get him back to Jackson quickly. You checked his pulse, relieved to find it steady, then did your best to bandage the wound with the supplies you had. With great effort, you managed to lift Joel and drape him over your shoulder, carrying him back through the storm.

By the time you reached Jackson, you were exhausted and freezing, but you didn't stop until you got Joel to the infirmary. The doctors took over, treating his wound and monitoring his condition.

You sat by Joel's bedside, watching him closely. Hours passed, and eventually he began to stir. His eyes fluttered open, and he looked around, disoriented.

"Joel?" you said softly, leaning forward.

He turned his head to you, his brow furrowing in confusion. But then, a slow, almost lazy smile spread across his face. "Well, hello there, beautiful," he said, his voice low and smooth. "Did I die and wake up in heaven?"

You blink, taken aback by his words. "Uh, Joel, it's me. Do you remember what happened?"

Joel's smile didn't waver as he looked at you. "I remember everything... except meeting you before. Are you sure we haven't met in a dream?"

You glanced at Tommy, who had just walked into the room, and saw the same confusion mirrored on his face. "Joel," Tommy said cautiously, stepping closer, "do you know who I am?"

Joel's eyes shifted to Tommy, his smile fading into a look of mild frustration. "Of course I do, Tommy. You're my brother. But I'm more interested in getting to know this doll here."

Tommy exchanged bewildered looks with you. "Joel, this is… Ah. She's... well, you two never really got along."

Joel's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Really? Well, I must've been an idiot then because I can't imagine not liking someone like you."

Your heart raced, unsure how to respond to this flirtatious side of Joel, the same who hours ago was trying to crawl under your skin, the same one who had rejected you all this time. "Joel, you really don't remember me at all?"

Joel shook his head, still gazing at you with that same enamored look. "Not a thing. But I gotta say, I feel like I'm seeing you for the first time, and I like what I see."

Tommy scratched his head, clearly at a loss. "This is... something else. We need to figure out what happened to his memory."

You nodded, trying to process the sudden shift in Joel's demeanor. You knew the hit on the head did something to his memory, but you didn’t know how to face it. "Joel, you hit your head pretty hard. The doctors said you might have some memory loss. Maybe this is part of it."

Joel reached out and gently took your hand, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. "Well, if forgetting the past means I get to start over with you, I think I can live with that."

You couldn't help but blush, feeling a mix of confusion and something else you couldn't quite place. Perhaps butterflies are flying all around inside your tummy. "We'll take it slow, okay? There's a lot you need to know."

Joel's grip on your hand tightened slightly, his eyes never leaving yours. "As long as you're the one teaching me, I'm all in."

Tommy coughed awkwardly, breaking the moment. "Alright, let's give Joel some time to rest and recover. We'll figure this out together."

You nodded, reluctantly pulling your hand away from Joel's. "Get some rest, Joel. We'll talk more later."

As you and Tommy left the room, you couldn't shake the feeling of Joel's gaze following you. Tommy put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "We'll get to the bottom of this. Just... be careful. He's not the same Joel right now."

You nodded, your mind racing with the implications of Joel's memory loss and his sudden interest in you. The days ahead were sure to be challenging, but you couldn't deny the flicker of excitement at the thought of getting to know this new, more open version of Joel.

A version where he could get to know you and maybe, like, a new story waiting to be written with the both of you becoming friends, and not just acquaintances just having to tolerate each other for the community’s sake.

The days following Joel's accident were a whirlwind of confusion and unexpected emotions dancing on your mind. Joel's flirtatious comments and affectionate demeanor were a stark contrast to the gruff, often combative man you had known before.

You had started to get used to feeling his nice demeanor towards you. You found yourself happier than before, smiling at the thought of him when you weren’t with him, and he had become your last thought on your bed just before going to sleep, but you were aware his condition perhaps wasn’t permanent and he was going to recover his memories of you, so you didn’t want to take advantage of that, nor did you want to fall for Joel, not when the fear of him waking up one day and hating you as usual was a threat.

His recovery was slow but steady, and you spent a lot of time by his side, helping him piece together the fragments of his memory. Every interaction felt like walking on fire, with Joel's behavior making your heart flutter and your mind racing at thousand miles per hour.

As you were changing the bandage on his head, Joel watched you with a soft smile. "You know, you have the gentlest touch. It's like you're an angel sent to take care of me."

You blushed, avoiding his gaze. "I'm just doing my job, Joel. Making sure your pretty head heals properly."

Joel reached up and gently brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. "You're more than just a nurse to me now. I don't know what it is, but I feel this connection with you. Like we're meant to be."

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions. "Joel, a few days ago I was nothing to you. You don’t remember me, so please just focus on getting better."

Joel's expression softened; his eyes filled with earnestness. "I get it, but I can't help how I feel. This connection—it's real to me, even if I don't remember our past."

You bit your lip, feeling a mix of frustration and affection. "Joel, you're vulnerable right now. Your mind is trying to make sense of everything, and it's confusing. We need to take things slow."

Joel nodded reluctantly, his hand lingering near your cheek before he pulled it back. "I trust you. Just know that I'm here, and I want to get to know you, past or no past."

You gave him a reassuring smile. "One step at a time, okay? Let's focus on getting you back on your feet first."

Just then, Tommy walked in, carrying a tray of food. He cleared his throat, causing you to step back from Joel. "Brought you some lunch, big brother. How’re you feeling?"

Joel's eyes lit up at the sight of his brother. "Thanks, Tommy. I'm feeling better every day. And with this sunshine here, it's hard not to feel good."

Tommy gave you a knowing look, his concern evident. "Glad to hear it. Mind if I have a word with you outside?" he asked, looking towards you.

You nodded, feeling a mix of relief and anxiety. "Of course, Tommy."

As you stepped outside the room, Tommy closed the door behind you, his expression serious. "How are you holding up?"

You sighed, crossing your arms. "It's... complicated. Joel is so different now. He's kind, attentive, and he seems genuinely interested in me. But he doesn't remember our past—how much we clashed."

Tommy nodded, his face lined with concern. "I can see how that would be confusing. But you have to be careful. This might just be his way of coping with the memory loss. He's latching onto the one constant he has right now—you."

You looked down, feeling a lump form in your throat. "I know. I'm trying to keep my distance, but it's hard. He's... he's different, Tommy. And I can't deny that I'm starting to care for him."

Tommy placed a hand on your shoulder, his grip firm and reassuring. "I get it. But you need to remember that his memory might come back, and when it does, he could revert to the Joel we knew before. You have to protect yourself, too."

“Am I that unlovable?” you sighed.

Tommy's expression softened, and he shook his head. "No, you're not unlovable. Far from it. But the Joel we knew before... he had his walls up, and you know how stubborn he can be. If his memory comes back, he might go back to those old habits, those old defenses."

You nodded, feeling the weight of his words. "I understand. It's just... complicated."

Tommy gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Just take it slow. Don't rush into anything, and remember to take care of yourself too. You suffered a lot before arriving here."

You managed a small smile. "Thanks, Tommy. I needed that."

Tommy smiled back. "Anytime."

Returning to Joel's room, you found him sitting up, his eyes lighting up as you walked in. "Hey, everything okay?"

You nodded, forcing a smile. "Yeah, just had a chat with Tommy."

Joel's expression became thoughtful. "You know, I'm really grateful for everything you're doing for me. I can't imagine what it must be like, dealing with me like this."

You sat down beside him, taking a deep breath. "It's not easy, Joel, but it's worth it. You're worth it."

Joel reached out, taking your hand in his. "You know, even though I don't remember everything, I feel like I'm seeing you for the first time. And I like what I see."

Your heart raced, and you struggled to keep your emotions in check. "Joel, we need to take things slow. Focus on your recovery first."

Joel nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "I understand. But I can't help how I feel."

He has repeated the same phrase as before, and you couldn’t help but feel yourself diving into a deep ocean for him.

You squeezed his hand gently. "One step at a time, okay?"

Joel's eyes held a determined glint. "One step at a time."

The late afternoon sun cast long shadows across the Jackson settlement as you walked briskly toward the main gate, your medical bag slung over your shoulder. You spotted Joel waiting for you, his arms crossed and a scowl already etched on his face.

"You're late," he growled as you approached.

You rolled your eyes. "I'm five minutes late, Joel. I had to take care of a kid with a fever."

Joel grunted, clearly unimpressed. "We have a schedule for a reason. Being late puts us at risk."

"Don't lecture me about risk," you shot back, your patience wearing thin. "I know the dangers out there just as well as you do."

Joel's eyes narrowed. "Do you? Because sometimes it feels like you're too soft for this world. Always stopping to help every stray animal and sick kid."

"Excuse me for having a heart," you snapped. "Not everyone wants to live like a damn machine."

"Having a heart can get you killed," Joel retorted, his voice rising. "Out there, you need to be tough. Focused."

"And maybe if you lightened up a bit, people wouldn't be so scared of you," you shot back, your frustration boiling over.

Joel took a step closer, his jaw clenched. "I don't care if people are scared of me. I care about keeping them safe. And you, with your bleeding heart, make that harder."

You felt a surge of anger and hurt at his words. "You know what, Joel? Maybe the problem isn't me. Maybe it's you. Maybe you're so wrapped up in your own pain that you can't see anyone else's."

Joel's face darkened, a mix of anger and something else—something like hurt—flashing in his eyes. "You don't know anything about my pain."

"And you don't know anything about mine," you replied, your voice trembling with emotion. "So maybe you should stop judging me and start seeing that we're all trying to survive in this hell together."

For a moment, the two of you stood there, the tension crackling between you like a live wire. Then Joel turned away, his shoulders stiff. "Let's just get this patrol over with."

You followed him out of the gate, your heart heavy with unresolved emotions. The silence between you was thick and uncomfortable, but neither spoke. The rift between you seemed insurmountable, and you couldn't see how things would ever change.

You woke up with a pain on your neck. You had fallen asleep on a chair next to Joel’s bed where he was now lay resting, his breathing even and steady. His recovery was going well, but the emotional landscape was far more complex and you wanted to take the risk to discover it.

You watched him for a moment, taking a mental picture of his face, the creases on his skin, how peaceful he looked like this. feeling the weight of uncertainty and guilt within you.

In that exact moment, Joel stirred, his eyes fluttering open. He looked around, his gaze settling on you with a warmth that made your heart skip a beat. "Hey, sunshine."

"Hey," you replied softly, mirroring his smile "How are you feeling?"

Joel stretched, wincing slightly but smiling nonetheless. "Better. Thanks to you."

You couldn't help but smile back, the tension easing a bit. "Just doing my job, Joel."

His eyes softened as he looked at you. "You're doing more than just your job. You've been taking care of me, looking out for me. I appreciate it."

You felt a warmth spread through you at his words. "It's what anyone would do."

Joel shook his head slightly. "No, not everyone. You're special, and I... I think I’m starting to understand that."

You felt a flutter in your chest at his words, a mix of emotions swirling within you. "Joel, you don't need to say that. You're still recovering, and things are confusing right now."

Joel's gaze remained steady, his expression earnest. "I mean it. There's something about you... something that's been here all along, and I was too stubborn to see it."

Your heart ached with the weight of his words, knowing how complicated the situation was. "Joel…”

“Did I care about you before?” he asked, gaze locked with yours.

You shook your head “No. Not really.”

You shook your head, feeling the sting of the truth. “No. Not really.”

Joel looked troubled, his brows knitting together. “I find that hard to believe. Because right now, I can’t imagine not caring about you.”

You took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. “Things were different before, Joel. We didn’t get along. You were... closed off, and I guess I was just someone who got under your skin.”

Joel’s expression softened with regret. “I’m sorry. For whatever I did to make you feel that way. I wish I could remember, but all I know is that right now, I see you, and I feel... connected.”

A memory from the past surged forward, vivid and painful. It was a cold evening in Jackson, just after a particularly difficult supply run. You and Joel had been at odds all day, and the tension between you was palpable.

"Why do you always have to be so damn difficult?" Joel snapped; his voice harsh as he slammed the door behind him.

You bristled at his tone, your own temper flaring. "Maybe because you treat me like I’m incompetent! I’m trying my best out there, Joel. We’re supposed to be a team."

Joel scoffed, his eyes narrowing. "A team? You’re a liability more than anything."

The words cut deep, but you stood your ground. "That’s not fair, and you know it. I’m just trying to help, like everyone else."

Joel’s face twisted with frustration. "Help? You call what you do helping? It’s a wonder anyone here can stand you."

The hurt was immediate and sharp, but you refused to let him see how much his words affected you. "At least I’m trying to do something good. You just push everyone away."

Joel stepped closer, his expression dark. "Maybe there’s a reason for that. I find it hard to believe anyone could actually love you."

The silence that followed was deafening. You stared at him, disbelief and pain warring within you. Without another word, you turned and left, unable to bear the weight of his cruelty.

Back in the present, you blinked, trying to dispel the memory. Joel was watching you closely, concern etched into his features. "What’s wrong?"

You forced a smile, though it didn’t reach your eyes. "Just... remembering something."

Joel reached out, gently taking your hand. "I wish I could remember too. So, I could make it right."

You looked down at your joined hands, the warmth of his touch grounding you. "Maybe it’s better this way.

Joel squeezed your hand gently. "A fresh start sounds good. But I still want to know everything. About us, about what I did wrong. So, I can be better."

You nodded, taking the risk and pushing your luck.

You and Joel could become friends, right?

"You and I... we could become friends, right?" you asked.

Joel’s eyes softened even more, and he smiled. "Friends sounds like a good start. We can build from there."

You felt a surge of relief. "Friends it is, then."

The days passed, each one bringing closeness between you and Joel. He had got better, slowly starting to get back to his tasks. The community noticed the change in him, how he was more open and approachable. You often found yourselves working together, whether it was on supply runs or him visiting the infirmary when you were there working.

One afternoon, you were busy organizing medical supplies when Joel walked in, a smile spreading across his face as he saw you. "Hey, need any help in here?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe.

You looked up, smiling back. "Joel, what are you doing here? I thought you were out patrolling.”

Joel shrugged, stepping further into the room. "Finished early. Thought I’d come by and see if you needed a hand."

He, in fact lied. He switched places with another guy just to spend time with you again. He could feel your fear irradiating but he wanted to get to know you better. He couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact he didn’t like someone like you and he wanted to change that.

You chuckled, shaking your head. " Sure, you can help me with these supplies. There are some boxes that need to be sorted."

Joel rolled up his sleeves and joined you, his presence filling the small room with a comforting warmth. As you worked side by side, you found yourself stealing glances at him, marveling at the changes in him. He was more relaxed, more open, and undeniably more attentive.

"You know," Joel said after a while, breaking the comfortable silence, "I think I like helping out here more than patrolling."

You raised an eyebrow, teasingly. "Oh? And why is that?"

Joel grinned, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Because I get to spend more time with you."

You blushed, focusing intently on the box in front of you. "You’re just saying that."

"No, I mean it," Joel replied, his tone sincere. "I like being around you. You make everything better."

You felt a warmth spread through you at his words, and you couldn't help but smile. "Well, I like having you around too."

The truth was that stealing glances at him now felt like interlocking fingers without even touching his skin, there wasn’t precisely a sexual tension or possessiveness over him, but a warm incandescent glow within every time he smiled at you. That was something you hadn’t felt in so long, and this time felt so right yet so wrong.

You both continued to work in comfortable silence, the rhythm of your tasks interrupted only by the occasional exchange of smiles or a shared joke. The closeness was undeniable, and you could feel the lines between friendship and something more starting to blur.

One afternoon, you were out on a supply run together, scanning the area for anything useful. The sun was setting, casting a golden hue over the landscape. As you bent down to pick up some supplies, Joel suddenly appeared by your side, his proximity making your heart race.

"Need a hand?" he asked, his voice low and warm.

You looked up at him, finding it hard to concentrate with him so close. "Sure, thanks."

As you both worked, the conversation flowed easily. Joel's presence was comforting, and you found yourself opening up to him in ways you hadn't before.

"You know, I never really thanked you properly," Joel said, his tone serious.

"For what?" you asked, genuinely curious.

"For saving my life. For being there for me when I needed it the most," Joel replied, his eyes meeting yours with a sincerity that made your heart ache.

You shook your head, a soft smile on your lips. "You don’t need to thank me, Joel. I did what anyone would do."

"Not anyone," he insisted, his gaze intense. "You went above and beyond. You always do."

You blushed, the warmth spreading through you once again. "Well, I care about you. I can’t help it."

Joel's expression softened, and he reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "I care about you too. More than I ever thought possible."

The moment hung in the air, filled with unspoken words and emotions. You could feel the pull between you, the undeniable connection that had grown stronger with each passing day.

"Joel, this is complicated," you whispered, your voice trembling slightly. "We need to take things slow."

"I know," he replied, his hand lingering near your face. "But I’m not going anywhere, but I’m not going anywhere.”

Joel's feelings for you had grown stronger. He found himself being smitten and completely in love by you, by your beauty, your strength and your soft heart. You were everything that was good with this world. Where everything and everyone was people with shadows dying out of melancholy, you were an angel wrapping your warm arms around him, making his world brighter. He had learnt how to savor the colors again.

As you continued your days together, Joel couldn't help but find ways to be close to you. He would always volunteer to accompany you on supply runs, ensuring you were safe and cared for. He would show up at the infirmary with small gifts – a flower he found on his patrol, a cup of your favorite tea, or a book he thought you might like. His gestures were always thoughtful and sincere, each one a testament to the depth of his feelings.

Joel couldn't take his eyes off you. You were kneeling in the ground, your hands deftly cleaning something you had found, your face serene and focused. Joel felt a swell of emotion, unable to keep it to himself any longer.

"You know," he began, his voice gentle, "I used to think this world had nothing left to offer. But then I met you."

You looked up, your heart skipping a beat at the intensity in his gaze. "Joel..."

He knelt beside you, his hand covering yours. "You make everything better. You've brought light into my life, and I can't imagine going back to the way things were."

You felt a mixture of warmth and apprehension. His words were everything you wanted to hear, yet the uncertainty of the situation weighed heavily on your heart. "Joel, this is all so new and complicated. We need to be careful."

Joel's grip on your hand tightened slightly, his eyes full of determination. "I know it's complicated, and I know we've got a lot to figure out. But I can't ignore what I feel. I want to be here for you, with you, through everything."

You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of his words. "I want that too, Joel. But we need to take it one step at a time."

He nodded, a soft smile spreading across his face. "I will make you fall in love with me," he said, his voice full of determination and warmth.

You couldn't help but smile back, feeling a mix of hope and apprehension. "You're quite confident, aren't you?"

Joel chuckled, his eyes never leaving yours. "When it comes to you, I am."

You smiled, feeling a flutter in your chest at his words. "Let's get back to Jackson," you said, standing up and brushing off your clothes. Joel stood with you, offering a hand to help you up.

As you made your way back to Jackson, the conversation flowed easily. Joel told you stories from before the outbreak, sharing pieces of his past he hadn’t opened up about before. You found yourself laughing at his anecdotes, feeling a growing sense of connection.

When you finally reached the gates of Jackson, the sun was setting, casting a warm glow over the community. People greeted you both warmly, noticing the change in Joel's demeanor. He was more relaxed and more present, and it was clear to everyone that you had a positive influence on him.

Tommy approached, a knowing smile on his face. "Good to see you both back safe and sound."

Joel clapped his brother on the shoulder. "It was a good run. Found some useful supplies."

Tommy nodded, then looked at you. "And how about you? Everything alright?"

You smiled, feeling the warmth of Joel’s gaze on you on your face. "Yeah, everything's good."

As the evening settled in, you and Joel made your way to the communal dining hall. The chatter of the community filled the air, and you found a spot to sit together. Joel’s hand lingered near yours, his touch reassuring and steady.

Tommy, Ellie, and Maria soon joined you at the table. Tommy was carrying a tray laden with food, Ellie trailing behind him with a mischievous grin, and Maria gave you a warm smile as she took a seat.

"Good to see you two back," Elli said, setting down the tray and passing out plates. “How was the run?" Ellie asked, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"It went well," Joel replied, his gaze briefly meeting yours before he continued. "Found some useful supplies and had some good company."

Ellie smirked, elbowing Tommy. "I bet you did."

You blushed, focusing on your plate as you filled it with food. Maria, ever perceptive, glanced between you and Joel with a knowing smile. "It's good to see everyone together," she said, her tone light and warm.

As you all began to eat, the conversation flowed naturally. Tommy and Maria talked about the latest updates in the community, Ellie shared stories from her day, and Joel occasionally chimed in with his dry humor, making everyone laugh.

At one point, Ellie leaned over to you, her voice low enough so only you could hear. "Joel's been different lately. In a good way. You've been good for him."

You looked at her, surprised by her observation. "I hope so. It's been... a journey."

Ellie nodded, her expression sincere. "Just keep being you. That's all he needs."

The meal continued, filled with warmth and laughter. Joel's hand occasionally brushed against yours, sending electricity down your body.

Just as you were starting to relax, a woman approached the table, her presence causing a ripple of unease. It was Lori, one of the women Joel used to date. Joel visibly tensed, his gaze dropping to his plate as Lori stopped beside him, her smile a mix of surprise and something else you couldn't quite place.

“Joel," she said, her voice smooth and confident. "I didn't expect to see you here."

Joel looked up, a flicker of recognition in his eyes. "Lori. Uh, hi."

Lori glanced around the table, her eyes settling on you for a moment before she looked back at Joel. "I was just passing by and saw you all together. Mind if I join?"

Before anyone could respond, Tommy jumped in. "Sure, why not? There's always room for one more."

Lori pulled up a chair and sat down, her presence adding a layer of tension to the dynamics. Joel seemed uncomfortable; his usual confidence was replaced by nervous energy.

"So, Joel," Lori began, her tone light but probing. "How have you been? It's been a while."

Joel cleared his throat, glancing at you briefly before answering. "Yeah, it has. I've been... good. Just busy with everything here."

Lori nodded, her gaze shifting between you and Joel. "I can see that. Looks like you've made some new friends." She said, bitterly, “The last time I knew from you was when you left my house after our night, and then you hit your head and never spoke to me again.”

The table fell silent, tension crackling in the air. Joel looked uncomfortable, his gaze dropping to his plate. You could see the guilt and confusion in his eyes as he tried to process Lori's words.

"I'm sorry, Lori," Joel finally said, his voice low. "I don't remember much from before the accident. It's been... complicated."

Lori's expression softened slightly, but the hurt in her eyes remained. "I get that. But it still stings, you know? You just disappeared."

You felt a pang of empathy for Lori but also a fierce protectiveness over Joel. "It's been hard for him,” you said gently, trying to ease the tension. "Joel's been working hard to piece things together. He's different now, and we're all just trying to move forward."

Lori glanced at you, her expression unreadable. "I can see that, but it seems like you had taken advantage of the situation; he couldn’t stand your ass before his accident, and suddenly you have him like a little puppy following you everywhere.”

Your heart drops to your stomach, feeling warm spreading to your cheeks.

Joel's jaw tightened, and he quickly interjected, his voice firm. "That's enough, Lori. You don't know what you're talking about."

Lori raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. "I just find it convenient, that's all."

Tommy leaned forward, his tone calm but authoritative. "Lori, we're all trying to move forward here. It's not fair to make accusations."

Ellie, always quick to defend those she cared about, added, "You weren't here to see what she did for Joel. She saved his life and has been helping him every step of the way."

Lori's gaze softened slightly, but the tension remained. "I'm sorry if I overstepped. I just needed to understand."

Maria nodded, her voice gentle. "We all get that, Lori. It's been a tough situation for everyone."

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions. "It's okay. "You took a deep breath before continuing. “I’ll take some fresh air,” you said, standing up, not even looking down at Joel, who seemed sad at your whole dementor.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions. "It's okay. I—" you paused, feeling the weight of the conversation pressing down on you. "I’ll take some fresh air," you said, standing up abruptly. Avoiding eye contact with Joel, who looked sad and concerned, you made your way outside.

The cool evening air was a welcome relief, and you walked a little way from the dining hall, finding a quiet spot to gather your thoughts. You leaned against a tree, closing your eyes and taking deep, calming breaths.

After a few moments, you heard footsteps approaching. You opened your eyes to see Ellie standing there, her expression filled with concern. "Hey, you okay?"

You nodded, managing a small smile. "Yeah, I just needed a moment. That was a bit embarrassing."

Ellie walked over and leaned against the wall next to you. "Lori was out of line. You've been amazing with Joel. Anyone with eyes can see that."

“So, don’t you think I’ve been taking advantage of him?” You asked, really concerned.

“What are you talking about? He is the one completely enamored by you.” She replied, laughing.

Ellie laughed, shaking her head. "What are you talking about? He is the one completely enamored by you."

You sighed, leaning back against the wall. "I know, but sometimes it feels like I’m walking on eggshells. It feels like he is going to wake up from his trance and he will hate me again."

Ellie placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Listen, I've seen the way he looks at you. He’s happier, lighter. You’ve brought out a side of him I didn’t think existed. And trust me, if he didn’t want this, he’d make it clear."

You took a deep breath.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Ellie asked.

“Me, falling in love with him,” you answer.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Ellie asked, her tone light but sincere.

You sighed, the weight of your fears pressing down. “Me, falling in love with him,” you answered quietly.

Ellie gave you a sympathetic look. "And why is that so bad?"

"Because," you began, struggling to put your feelings into words, "what if his memories come back and he realizes he doesn’t feel the same way? Or worse, what if I fall in love with him and he changes back to the old Joel, the one who couldn’t stand me?"

Ellie nodded, understanding. "That's a risk, sure. But you can't let fear keep you from living. You've been through so much together, and it's clear he cares about you deeply now. Maybe that won't change."

You bit your lip, the turmoil inside you reflected in your eyes. "I just don't want to get hurt, Ellie. And I don’t want to hurt him either."

Ellie squeezed your shoulder. "I get it. But if you keep holding back, you'll never know what could be. Sometimes, you just have to take a leap of faith."

You let out a shaky breath, nodding. "Maybe you're right."

Ellie grinned. "Of course I'm right. Now, let's get back in there. Joel's probably worrying himself sick."

You smiled, feeling a bit more at ease. "Okay, let's go."

As you walked back into the dining hall, you found Joel still sitting at the table, his eyes lighting up when he saw your return. He stood up as you approached, his concern evident.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

You nodded, giving him a reassuring smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just needed a breather."

Joel looked relieved, and he gently took your hand. "I'm glad you're back."

The evening continued with easy conversation, and as you all eventually made your way out of the dining hall, Joel walked beside you, his presence a comforting constant.

"Thanks for dinner," he said softly as you approached your door.

"Anytime," you replied, feeling a warmth in your chest at his words. "It was nice, being with everyone."

Joel nodded, his eyes lingering on you. "It was. And I meant what I said today. I’ll make you fall in love with me.”

You chuckled softly, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement at his words. "You're really set on that, aren't you?"

Joel nodded, his expression serious but with a hint of a smile that made you go crazy. "I am. Because I know what I feel now, and I’m not going to let it slip away."

You looked into his eyes, seeing the sincerity there. "Joel, this is new for both of us. We need to take it one step at a time."

He took a step closer, his hand gently brushing against yours. “Am I that unlovable?”

You blinked, taken aback by his question. "What? No, Joel, you're not unlovable at all. It's just... complicated."

Joel's eyes softened, and he took your hand in his, his thumb gently brushing over your knuckles. "I get that. But I need you to know that I’m not going anywhere. I’ll wait as long as it takes."

You felt a warmth spread through you at his words. "I appreciate that, Joel. And I do care about you. A lot. It's just..."

"Scary?" he finished for you, his voice gentle.

You nodded.

Joel's expression turned thoughtful, and he nodded slowly. "Yeah, I get it. It is scary. But sometimes, the best things come from taking a leap of faith."

You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of his words. "It’s not just about taking a leap. It’s about making sure we’re ready for whatever comes next."

Joel squeezed your hand gently, his eyes never leaving yours. "I understand. And I'm ready to take it slow to give you the space you need. Just know that I’m here for you, and I’m not giving up on us."

You felt a mix of relief and trepidation, but Joel's unwavering support gave you strength. "Thank you, Joel. That means a lot to me."

He leaned in, resting his forehead against yours for a moment, his breath warm against your skin. "We’ll figure it out, one step at a time."

You nodded, closing your eyes for a brief second, allowing yourself to savor the closeness and the promise of what might come. When you opened your eyes again, you saw Joel’s smile—a smile that made you believe in the possibility of a new beginning.

"Goodnight," he whispered, his voice tender, holding back the desire to cupp your face and kiss you.

"Goodnight, Joel," you replied, your heart fluttering, feeling the same as him.

Now standing, this close, face to face, skins touching. One of you would give in before, and once that happened, there was no going to be a way to stop two hearts beating this fast.

Joel's eyes locked onto yours, the intensity of his gaze revealing the depth of his emotions. You could see the conflict within him, the longing that mirrored your own. His hand lingered near your face, his fingers almost brushing against your skin, his breath warm and steady.

The moment felt suspended in time, the air between you charged with unspoken words and electric anticipation. You both stood there, so close that you could feel the heat radiating from each other, your hearts racing in sync.

Joel’s voice was barely above a whisper. “I don’t want to push you, but I also don’t want to pretend like I don’t feel this.”

You swallowed, your own voice trembling slightly. “I feel it too, Joel. But we need to be careful.”

Joel nodded, his expression a mix of desire and restraint. “I know. And I want to respect that. I just...” He hesitated, taking a deep breath as if trying to steady himself. “I don’t want to miss this chance with you. I’ve never felt this way before.”

Joel’s gaze flickered between your eyes and your lips, the desire and uncertainty evident in his expression. His hand gently cupped your face. His touch was tender, as if he were afraid to break the spell that bound you both.

You felt your heart race, every nerve ending alive with anticipation. Joel’s fingers brushed softly against your cheek, and you could see the struggle in his eyes as he fought to keep his emotions in check. His breath grew shallower, and his eyes closed for a brief moment, savoring the closeness.

Slowly, he leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a soft, tentative kiss. It was gentle at first, a whisper of warmth and affection that sent a shiver down your spine. The moment felt both exhilarating and comforting, the culmination of all the unspoken words and feelings that had been building between you.

You responded instinctively, your lips moving softly against his. The kiss deepened gradually, a sweet exploration of new and uncharted territory. His hands moved to frame your face, his touch firm yet gentle, as if he were cherishing every second of this newfound closeness.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, your eyes locking in a moment of shared understanding. The kiss had been more than just a physical connection; it was a promise of something more, something that neither of you fully understood yet but were both eager to explore.

Joel’s smile was tender and full of warmth. “I’ve wanted to do that since I woke up that day at the infirmary,” he admitted softly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation.

You felt a blush rise to your cheeks at his confession. His words made your heart flutter even more, and you could see the sincerity in his eyes.

"I'm glad you did," you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "I've been feeling the same way."

Joel's smile widened, and he gently stroked your cheek with his thumb. "I didn’t want to rush things or push you. But now... now that we’ve shared this, I hope we can figure things out together."

You nodded, feeling a surge of hope and warmth. "I think we can. I want to see where this leads."

He took a deep breath, his gaze never leaving yours. "No pressure, just... being here with you."

You smiled, feeling a sense of calm and excitement. "I would like that.”

Joel nodded; his expression full of affection. "Good. Now, how about we get some rest? Tomorrow's a new day, and I want to spend it with you."

You felt a burst of warmth at his words and, inspired by the new closeness between you, you hesitated for just a moment before speaking up. “How about we go inside for a bit? I’ve got some tea. It might be nice to relax and talk more.”

Joel’s eyes lit up at the invitation, and he nodded with a smile. “That sounds perfect.”

You led the way to your house, the familiar surroundings now feeling different with Joel by your side. Once inside, you made your way to the kitchen and began preparing the tea. Joel watched you with an easy smile, clearly content.

As you waited for the water to boil, you and Joel chatted about lighter topics—how his recovery was going, plans for the community, and small anecdotes from your days. The conversation flowed easily, and the atmosphere between you was comfortable and warm.

When the tea was ready, you poured two cups and handed one to Joel. He took it with a grateful smile, his fingers brushing against yours. You both settled into a cozy corner of your living room, the soft light of a lamp casting a gentle glow around the room.

Joel sipped his tea, his gaze occasionally meeting yours. “This is nice,” he said softly. “Thank you for inviting me.”

Joel looked around your living room, the peaceful ambiance a stark contrast to the harsh world outside. He took another sip of his tea, then turned his gaze back to you. “You know, before all this, I had a pretty normal life. A family, a daughter named Sarah. She was... everything to me.”

His voice carried a tinge of sadness, and you could see the pain in his eyes. You nodded, sensing the weight of his memories. “I’m sorry, Joel. I can’t even imagine.”

Joel’s expression was somber but grateful. “Thanks. She was everything. When the outbreak happened, she... she didn’t make it. It’s been hard, you know? Trying to keep going and make sense of it all.”

You felt a pang of sympathy for him, knowing how devastating such a loss could be. “I understand. I lost my fiancé in a storm during the outbreak. We were caught outside, and he was... gone before I could do anything.”

Joel’s eyes softened with empathy. “That’s so tough. I’m really sorry you went through that.”

You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of your own memories. “It was the storm that made me afraid of them. Every time the weather changes, it reminds me of that day. I try not to let it control me, but sometimes, it’s hard.”

Joel reached out, placing his hand gently on yours. “I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that. It’s brave of you to face it every day.”

You looked at his hand on yours, feeling a comforting warmth from his touch. “It’s been a struggle, but having people like you around makes it a little easier.”

Joel nodded, his gaze steady. “We all have our battles. But we’ve found ways to keep moving forward. And maybe together, we can make those battles a little less daunting.”

+++++

The days turned into weeks, and your relationship with Joel grew stronger. The bond you shared was evident in the way you looked at each other and the ease with which you interacted. People in Jackson had noticed the change in both of you, and there was a sense of warmth and contentment surrounding your partnership.

One afternoon, as you were working in the infirmary, organizing supplies and checking on patients, Joel walked in. He had that familiar, easy smile on his face, and his presence was a comforting one amidst the hectic pace of the medical work.

“Hey,” he said, leaning against the doorway. “Thought I’d stop by and see how you’re doing.”

You looked up, your face lighting up at the sight of him. “Hey, Joel. Just busy as usual. How’s everything on the patrol?”

Joel shrugged, walking over to where you were working. “Not too bad. But I figured I’d come by and keep you company. I know you’ve been spending a lot of time here.”

You nodded, your smile softening. “Yeah, I’ve been needed here more often lately. But it’s good to see you.”

Joel moved closer, his hand reaching out to gently touch your arm. “I’ve missed you. It’s different when you’re not around.”

You felt a surge of affection at his words. “I’ve missed you too. But this is important. People need help, and I want to make sure I’m here for them.”

Joel nodded, understanding in his eyes. “I get it. Just remember to take care of yourself too. I’d hate to see you running on empty.”

You chuckled, appreciating his concern. “I’ll try. But having you here now brought a smile to my face.”

He smiled, his gaze lingering on you. “Well, I’m glad to be here. Can I help with anything?”

You thought for a moment, then nodded. “Actually, if you could help me restock some of these supplies, that would be great.”

Joel moved closer, his hand gently brushing against yours as he began helping with the supplies. The shared task created a comfortable silence between you, with only the soft sounds of organizing supplies filling the space.

As you worked side by side, Joel’s gaze lingered on you with an intensity that made your heart race. Without warning, he leaned in, his lips brushing softly against yours in a tender, affectionate kiss. The kiss was a sweet proof the connection you shared, and you responded with equal tenderness, savoring the closeness.

Just as the kiss deepened, the door to the infirmary swung open, and Dr. Ramirez walked in. Her eyes widened slightly at the sight of you and Joel but quickly masked her surprise with a professional smile.

“Sorry to interrupt,” she said, her tone warm but slightly teasing. “I came to check on things and see if you needed any help.”

You and Joel pulled away; a bit flustered but smiling nonetheless. “We were just finishing up,” you said, trying to sound casual. “Everything’s in order.”

Dr. Ramirez nodded, her gaze flicking between you and Joel with a knowing look. “Alright, if you need anything, just let me know.”

As she moved to her office, you glanced at Joel, your cheeks still slightly flushed. “Well, that was embarrassing.”

Joel chuckled, his hand still resting lightly on yours. “Yeah, but I guess it’s a good thing everyone know you’re my girl.”

You looked up at Joel, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "I suppose it is. It’s nice to be able to be open about us."

Joel’s expression softened; his gaze warm. “It is. And I’m glad we don’t have to hide anymore.”

You squeezed his hand gently, feeling a sense of contentment. “Me too. It makes everything feel more real, more... solid.”

Joel nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. “Do you want to have dinner at my place?” he asked.

You looked up at Joel, a smile spreading across your face at the thought of spending more time together. “Dinner at your place sounds wonderful. I’d love that.”

Joel’s face lit up with a warm smile. “Great. I’ll make sure to have something good ready for us.”

You both made your way to Joel’s place, the evening air cool and crisp. The walk was filled with easy conversation and shared laughter, a comforting routine that had become a cherished part of your days.

When you arrived at Joel’s house, he opened the door and gestured for you to enter. The interior was cozy, with soft lighting and a welcoming atmosphere. He led you to the kitchen, where a simple but inviting dinner was laid out on the table.

Joel’s cooking was surprisingly good, and as you enjoyed the meal together, the conversation flowed effortlessly. You talked about everything and nothing—your favorite memories, plans for the future, and the little things that made you both laugh.

After dinner, you moved to the living room, where Joel had set up a comfortable spot with blankets and pillows. You both settled in, the atmosphere relaxed and intimate.

Joel looked at you with a soft smile. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

You snuggled closer to him, feeling a deep sense of contentment. “Me too. Tonight has been perfect.”

He wrapped his arm around you, his touch warm and reassuring. “Here’s to many more nights like this.”

You smiled, resting your head on his shoulder. “I’d like that.”

As the evening wore on, you both talked about your past experiences and shared stories from before the outbreak. Joel spoke about his life before everything changed—his family, the dreams he had, and the struggles he faced. You shared your own experiences, including the loss of your fiancé and the challenges of adapting to this new world alone.

Joel listened intently, his hand occasionally brushing against yours as if to reassure you. “It’s amazing how much we’ve both been through,” he said softly. “And yet, here we are.”

You nodded, feeling a deep connection. “Yeah. It feels like we’re building something meaningful despite everything.”

After some time, you both decided it was time to call it a night. You stood up, stretching slightly as you gathered your things. Joel walked with you to the door, his presence a comforting constant.

As you reached the door, Joel hesitated for a moment, then gently grabbed your wrist, stopping you from leaving. He looked at you with a mix of hesitation and hope in his eyes. “I was wondering… would you like to spend the night here? It’s been nice having you around, and I’d love to have you stay.”

You looked at him, surprised but touched by the invitation. The warmth in his eyes and the sincerity of his voice made it hard to resist.

“I’d like that,” you said softly, a smile spreading across your face.

Joel’s expression brightened, and he pulled you into a gentle hug. “Great. Let’s get you settled in.”

Joel led you to his bedroom, a space that felt both lived-in and welcoming. The room was simple but comfortable, with a bed covered in worn but clean linens and a few personal touches that spoke to Joel’s character—photos of his family, a well-loved guitar leaning against the wall, and a small stack of books on the bedside table.

He gestured to the bed with a slightly sheepish grin. “Sorry, it’s not much, but it’s home.”

You smiled, feeling a sense of warmth and acceptance. “It’s perfect.”

Joel nodded, his expression softening. “I’m glad you think so.”

You both prepared for bed in comfortable silence, the familiarity of the routine helping to ease any lingering tension. Joel showed you where you could find anything you might need—extra blankets, a lamp for reading, and a small cabinet for any personal items you might want to keep nearby.

As you both settled into the bed, Joel turned off the lights, leaving only a soft glow from a nightlight on the dresser. He slipped under the covers, and you followed suit, the warmth and comfort of the bed providing a welcome respite from the day’s events.

Joel turned toward you, his eyes meeting yours in the dim light. “I’m really glad you’re here,” he said softly, his voice tender.

You smiled, feeling a sense of peace as you settled closer to him. “Me too. It feels right.”

He reached out and gently took your hand, interlocking your fingers. The simple gesture was filled with meaning, and you could feel the connection between you growing stronger.

“Goodnight,” Joel whispered, his voice carrying a note of affection.

“Goodnight,” you replied, your heart fluttering with contentment.

A few days later, you and Ellie were seated at a table in the bustling dining hall, enjoying a well-deserved lunch. The room was filled with the murmur of conversations and the clinking of utensils, creating a comforting background noise.

Ellie, always full of energy, was animatedly talking about a new comic she’d found. “You won’t believe this,” she said, leaning in with a conspiratorial grin, “but this one hero has the power to control weather. I’m telling you, if I had that power, I’d totally make it sunny all the time.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Sounds like you’ve been reading too many comics. But I suppose a bit of sunshine wouldn’t hurt.”

Ellie grinned, grabbing a bite of her sandwich. “True, true. But, seriously, how are things going with Joel? You two seem... really happy.”

You smiled, feeling a warm flush at her question. “We are. It’s been nice, spending time together. He’s been really supportive, and I think we’re figuring things out.”

Ellie’s eyes lit up, clearly pleased with your answer. “I’m glad to hear that. He’s been a lot happier since you two started spending more time together. It’s like he’s found a new spark.”

You nodded, feeling a sense of contentment. “It’s been good for both of us. We’re still taking things one step at a time, but it feels right.”

Ellie’s expression turned thoughtful. “I know it’s been rough with everything that’s happened, but it’s nice to see people finding happiness again. Especially you and Joel.”

You appreciated Ellie’s support and her ability to lighten the mood. “Thanks, Ellie. That means a lot.”

Ellie glanced around the dining hall, then back at you with a mischievous grin. “So, are you guys planning any big adventures together? Or just sticking to the small stuff for now?”

You laughed softly. “We’re sticking to the small stuff for now. Just enjoying the moments, we have together.” You paused, “I’m still a little bit scared of him waking up hating me again.”

Ellie’s eyes softened with understanding. “I get that. It’s natural to be scared after everything you’ve both been through. But you’re doing great, and Joel is different now. He’s not going to just wake up one day and hate you.”

You sighed, a mixture of relief and lingering concern in your expression. “I hope you’re right. Sometimes, it’s hard to shake that fear, especially after everything that’s happened.”

Ellie nodded thoughtfully. “I think you both just need to keep talking and being honest with each other. The more you communicate, the more you’ll build that trust. And remember, it’s okay to have those fears. It just means you care.”

You managed a small smile. “Thanks, Ellie. It’s reassuring to hear that.”

Ellie grinned and took a bite of her lunch. “Anytime. And if you ever need someone to talk to or just need a distraction, you know I’m here. We can have a comic marathon or something.”

You laughed, feeling the warmth of Ellie’s support. “That sounds like a plan. I’ll definitely take you up on that.”

As you and Ellie finished your lunch, you stood up to clear your plates, the conversation easing into a comfortable silence. Just as you were about to head to the serving area, you suddenly felt two strong arms wrap around your middle, pulling you into a warm embrace. A soft, affectionate kiss was placed on your cheek, making you feel a surge of happiness and surprise.

You turned your head slightly, finding Joel’s smiling face close to yours. “Hey there,” he said, his voice full of warmth and affection. “I didn’t mean to interrupt, just wanted to steal a moment with you.”

Ellie watched with a grin, clearly pleased with the sight. “Looks like someone’s got a fan club.”

You blushed slightly, leaning into Joel’s embrace. “Hi, Joel. I was just catching up with Ellie.”

Joel’s gaze softened as he looked at you, his hand gently resting on your side. “I figured I’d come and see how you were doing. Plus, I wanted to see if you’d be up for a walk later.”

You smiled, feeling content in his arms. “A walk sounds nice. I’d love that.”

Joel nodded, his eyes twinkling with excitement. “Great. Let’s finish up here and head out.”

You and Joel exchanged a tender glance before you both started to clear your plates. Ellie gave you both a playful nudge. “I’ll leave you two to your walk. Enjoy, and remember, I’m always here if you need me.”

+++++++++++++

“So?” you asked, as Joel was smiling in complete silence.

“So what?” he asked without erasing that smile from his face.

“Aren’t you going to talk?”

Joel chuckled, his smile widening. “I guess I’m just enjoying the moment. It’s not every day I get to be this content.”

You raised an eyebrow, playfully nudging him. “Oh really? And why’s that?”

He looked at you, his gaze tender. “Because being with you like this, just walking and talking, it’s exactly what I’ve wanted. It’s simple and perfect.”

You smiled, feeling a warm glow from his words. “Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying it. So, what’s on your mind?”

Joel glanced around, taking in the scenery before meeting your eyes again. “I was thinking about how nice would be if you go to my place tonight. Ellie’s gonna spend the night with Dina and I want to spend the night with you.”

“That sounds wonderful,” you said with a smile. “I’d love to spend the night with you.”

Joel’s face lit up with a genuine smile, and he took your hand, gently squeezing it. “Great. I was hoping you’d say that.” He leaned and kiss you on the lips, “No I gotta go helping Tommy, see you later, sunshine”

You pouted, grabbing his hand before he could go anywhere “Wait? That was all?”

Joel chuckled softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “I thought I’d surprise you with the invitation, and I wanted to make sure you knew how much I enjoy spending time with you.”

You raised an eyebrow, playfully teasing. “Well, I didn’t realize the evening was just an invitation and a kiss goodbye.”

Joel grinned, clearly amused. “Alright, alright. If you want more, I guess I’ll have to come up with something better.” He pulled you into another kiss, this one longer and more lingering.

You smiled against his lips as you pulled away. “That’s more like it. But seriously, I was looking forward to spending time with you.”

Joel’s gaze softened, and he cupped your face gently. “I’m looking forward to it too. Just had to help Tommy out with something. I promise, I’ll make up for it.”

You nodded, still holding onto his hand. “I’ll hold you to that. See you later, Joel.”

He gave you one last smile before heading out, leaving you with a warm feeling and the anticipation of the evening ahead.

+++++++++++++

When you arrived at Joel's place, the sun had just dipped below the horizon, casting a warm, golden glow across the surroundings. Joel greeted you at the door with a welcoming smile and a quick, affectionate kiss.

"Hey, glad you could make it," he said, taking your coat and hanging it up. "I’ve got a few things planned, but we can start with something simple if you’d like."

You stepped inside, feeling the comforting familiarity of Joel’s home. “I’m sure whatever you’ve got planned will be perfect,” you replied, smiling at him.

Joel led you into the living room, where he’d set up a cozy area with blankets and cushions. The room was softly lit by lamps, and the atmosphere was inviting and warm. A few candles were flickering on the coffee table, casting a gentle glow.

“I figured we could start with some dinner and then maybe just talk or something else” Joel suggested, his eyes reflecting the soft light.

You nodded, feeling content with the simple but thoughtful setup. “That sounds great.”

Joel moved to the kitchen and returned shortly with a plate of homemade food—something comforting and hearty. He set it down on the table, then joined you on the couch.

As you both ate, the conversation flowed easily, just like it had during your earlier moments together. You talked about your days, your plans, and even some light-hearted topics. Joel’s presence was reassuring, and you felt completely at ease.

After dinner, Joel suggested putting on some music. He rummaged through his collection, finally settling on a classic that he thought you’d enjoy. You both snuggled up under the blankets, the music playing softly in the background.

Joel occasionally glanced at you, his hand resting casually on your knee. The song played, but most of your attention was focused on the comfort of being next to him, the warmth of his touch, and the quiet contentment that filled the room.

Joel turned to you, his gaze tender. “You know, I’m really glad we’re doing this. Just being here with you, it feels right.”

You smiled, leaning into him. “I feel the same way.”

Joel’s hand moved to gently brush your hair back from your face. “What’s your biggest fear?” he asked out of the blue?

You sighed, leaving his gaze for a moment “You waking up and forgetting you love me”

Joel’s brow furrowed slightly at your answer, a mix of concern and curiosity in his eyes. “Why would you think that? I don’t see any reason why that would happen.”

You took a deep breath, feeling vulnerable as you shared your fear. “It’s just….you knew I told you we didn’t get along before, in fact you hated me, Joel.”

Joel’s eyes softened as he listened to your concern. He took a moment before responding, his voice steady and reassuring. “I know things weren’t easy between us before. And yeah, I didn’t handle things the best way back then. But that’s in the past. What matters now is how we are right now.”

He reached out and gently took your hand in his. “The truth is, I’ve changed. And I see you differently now. I see you for who you are, and I realize how much you mean to me. Whatever those old feelings were? They’re gone. What we have now is real, and I’m committed to it.”

You looked into his eyes, searching for the truth in his words. “But what if one day you wake up and those old feelings come back? What if something changes?”

Joel shook his head, his gaze intense and full of conviction. “I don’t believe that’ll happen. I’ve come to understand how much you mean to me, and how deeply I care about you.”

He squeezed your hand gently, his expression earnest. “I’m not going to let those fears control us. We’re building something strong, and I want to keep building it with you. I’m here, and I’m committed to making sure we have a future together.”

You felt a wave of relief and warmth at his words. “Thank you, Joel. That really means a lot to me.”

Joel smiled softly, leaning in to kiss your forehead. “I’m glad. And if you ever need reassurance, just ask. I’m always here to remind you of how much you mean to me.”

You nestled closer to him, feeling a deep sense of comfort and closeness. The fears that had been troubling you began to fade as you focused on the warmth of his embrace and the sincerity in his voice.

Joel’s gaze lingered on yours, his eyes filled with a mix of tenderness and resolve. Slowly, he leaned in, his lips brushing softly against yours. The kiss was gentle at first, a careful exploration of newfound trust and affection.

As the kiss deepened, it became more passionate, conveying all the emotions and reassurances that words alone couldn’t fully capture. Joel’s hand cupped your face, his touch warm and reassuring as he pressed closer.

You responded to the kiss, your own hands moving to rest against his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. The kiss felt like a promise, a shared understanding of where you both stood and where you hoped to go.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, your foreheads touching as you gazed into each other’s eyes. The room seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you wrapped in this moment of closeness.

Joel’s smile was soft, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I needed to do that. To show you just how much you mean to me.”

You smiled back, your heart full. “I needed that too.”

Joel gently brushed a strand of hair from your face, his touch lingering.

After that, everything happened in a flash. Neither of you realized when you removed your clothes, but there was too much desperation in your touch; you wanted to discover how his fingers could leave a mark on you, tracing invisible lines across your body.

He kissed you again, slipping his tongue past your lips, gasping when he felt your fingers running your fingertips across his bare chest, tracing the lines of a map leading to where you couldn’t stop.

With one of your hands, you pulled him down by his neck to hold you against your lips again. Once you tasted them, you couldn’t get over the taste of them over yours, and you couldn’t get over the whimpers he left in your mouth.

He was hovering over you, giving you a passionate kiss. He was between your legs, exactly where you wanted him.

He pulled his lips away from yours for a moment to glance down at you. To appreciate the features of your face and the nature of your body to admire the features of your face, and the nature of your body being displayed just for him right now. You felt the crimson color rushing up to your checks and for a moment you felt embarrassed under his stare, but he smiled at you.

“You look beautiful”. He swallowed hard, stroking your cheek with his thumb.

His hands on your tights only increased the sparks in the place you wanted him the most, you wanted to follow the path even when you knew it was leading to a treacherous destination.

You continued kissing slowly as he caressed your thighs with his gently touch, as he wanted to worship your body and devour every single sound coming out from your mouth. He kissed you down over your neck, kissing, nipping your skin between his teeth.

And God, he loved the way you were making him feel. The fact this time was different to everything you had experiencing before. At this moment, you weren’t driving for only passionate reasons, but for caring feelings for each other. You weren’t in a rush and that turned him on. He was hard for you and he wanted to meet where religion was, between your thighs.

This time he was making love because he had drowned himself on your religion.

Both of you gasped aloud the moment he began to push slowly inside you. His hands reached for yours, interlocking them as he kissed you softly, muttering, "You're so beautiful like this". He was mesmerized by the way you were nervously giggling and cocking your head back in delight. He bit your neck, prompting your hands to move up to his neck, and his hands ran down your entire body without a layer of clothing on you, focusing on every thrust and diving deep to ensure he was making you happy.

You opened your eyes and stared back at him, entirely focused on you. You couldn't help but roll your eyes as his hands massaged your breasts while he continued to devour your lips. Your back arched, followed by a moan against his lips. Every thrust felt so fantastic, you couldn't help but think you were in the celestial realm You could tell you were getting closer as you squeezed him and kept your gaze fixed on each other. He pushed harder, one hand caressing your cheek and the other gripping your knee to guarantee you fell apart.

The noises you made drove him insane, as he felt himself reaching the edge of the cliff. He wanted to stare at you under him as you came and with a loud gasp, he did it at the same time falling over your exposed chest, your heartbeats mingling.

You moaned softly beneath him, and Joel raised his head to look at you, flashing him a cute smile he hadn't tired of, as you kissed him on the lips.

"I love you so much," he replied, gazing at you with admiration. “I’m so in love with you.”

I love you.

I’m so in love with you.

Those three words were echoing in the shadows of your mind. Your expression softened and you felt your blood rushing. You were sure they had had an impact on you.

“And I love you so much” you whispered back, your voice trembling slightly with the depth of your emotion.

Joel’s expression softened even further, and he brushed a tender kiss against your lips once more. The connection between you was undeniable, a blend of passion and deep affection that had grown stronger with each passing day.

You rested your head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat steady and strong beneath you. The world outside seemed distant and unimportant in the warmth of his embrace. For a moment, everything felt perfect, and you allowed yourself to fully embrace the love and happiness you had found with Joel.

Joel gently ran his fingers through your hair, his touch soothing. “We’ve come a long way, haven’t we?”

You nodded, your eyes closing as you savored the moment. “Yeah, we have. And I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Joel’s arms tightened around you, pulling you closer. “Neither would I. Here’s to more moments like this, and to whatever the future holds for us.”

You smiled, feeling a deep sense of contentment and anticipation for what was to come. “To us,” you agreed, your heart full of love and hope.

+++++++++++

The soft morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a gentle glow over the room. You stirred, waking up with a smile on your face. The previous night’s intimacy and love still lingered, and you turned to look at Joel. He was sleeping peacefully beside you, a contented expression on his face.

As you watched him, you felt a surge of happiness and affection. You reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair from his forehead, your heart full of love for him.

But as Joel’s eyes fluttered open and he met your gaze, his expression shifted dramatically. His sparkly brown eyes filled with love, widened in horror, and a look of confusion and fear crossed his face. He pushed himself up, scrambling back slightly.

“What...What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked, his voice trembling with a mix of shock and fear.

You were taken aback, your smile faltering as you tried to make sense of his reaction. “Joel, what’s wrong?”

No. It couldn’t be that, right?

Joel’s eyes were filled with a pained realization. “Oh my god, you came to my house trying to seduce me into sleeping with you?”

You felt a sharp pang of pain at his words, and your heart dropped. The warmth you had felt earlier was replaced by a cold, unsettling feeling.

“No, Joel, that’s not what happened,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady despite the hurt. “We’re in love”

He chuckled. “In love? Me in love with you? I could never” he said.

Your chest tightened, and the hurt in Joel’s words felt like a physical blow. You struggled to keep your composure, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill.

“Joel, you can’t mean that,” you said, your voice shaking. “Last night, you said you loved me. We shared something real.”

Joel’s expression was a mix of confusion and pain. “I don’t remember saying that. Last night I was with Lori”

That’s it. You were back at were you used to be.

The weight of Joel’s words hit you like a punch to the gut. You felt a mix of betrayal and heartache, as the realization sank in. The warmth and affection from the night before felt like a cruel illusion.

“So, what? You’re saying last night meant nothing?” you asked. The tears you had been holding back finally spilled over. “You really don’t remember? You don’t remember how we talked, how you told me you loved me?”

“I don’t love you.” He said, sternly.

“But I’m your sunshine” you sobbed.

Joel’s laughter pierced through you like a blade, and you could barely stand the weight of the realization. Each word he spoke seemed to tear away at the fabric of your heart, unraveling the dream you’d clung to so desperately.

The room felt colder, the air heavier, as you fought to control your sobs. Every touch, every shared moment that had once seemed so real was now reduced to nothing more than painful echoes of a memory that never truly existed.

He didn’t remember the stealing glances, the kisses, the touches and the promises than now seemed to fade with the cruel destiny meeting the ending meant to be.

You had taken a risk at falling in love with the version of a Joel who loved you back, and he didn’t exist anymore. He had faded just when he had told you he loved you.

He didn’t remember falling in love with you, he didn’t remember all the time you spent together, and he didn’t remember loving you, but you didn’t think this would hurt this much.

“Joel” you said, pleading him to remember.

“Out.” He said, gritting his teeth.

You stood there, the pain in your chest almost unbearable, as Joel's harsh words echoed around you. The warmth and affection you had shared just hours before now seemed like a cruel illusion, shattered by his denial.

"Joel, please," you said, your voice trembling. "Just think about everything we shared. It was real."

Joel’s eyes were hard, and he crossed his arms defensively. “I don't remember any of it. And I can't fake feelings I don't have.”

You felt a deep, profound sadness, the weight of his words making it almost impossible to breathe. The life you had envisioned, the love you had felt, seemed to slip away like sand through your fingers.

“Please, just—” you tried to reason with him, but the look in his eyes made it clear that any further pleading was futile.

Joel’s expression remained firm, a mix of regret and frustration. “Everything I know is that you took advantage of me.”

The sting of Joel's words cut deep, each one echoing the finality of a dream you had cherished. The accusation of taking advantage of him felt like a betrayal, intensifying the emotional agony you were already struggling with.

You took a shaky breath, trying to hold onto the fragments of your composure. "Joel, I never did that. We have something—"

Joel interrupted; his voice cold. "I don’t want to hear it. You need to leave. Now."

The finality in his tone left no room for argument. With a heart heavy with sorrow, you nodded, unable to find the words that might change his mind.

You were only on one of his shirts, trying to find your clothes.

You stumbled through the room, your movements disjointed as you searched for your clothes. The pain and confusion made every action feel like an immense effort. Joel’s gaze remained fixed on you, his face a mask of distant resolve.

You found your jeans, but it was crumpled and stained, and you struggled to put it on with trembling hands. The fabric felt rough against your skin, a stark contrast to the comfort you had felt just hours before. You glanced around for your other belongings, the room now feeling foreign and unwelcoming.

“I... I can’t find my blouse,” you said again, your voice a whisper filled with desperation and trembling.

Joel’s eyes flicked to you briefly before he spoke with a tone that brooked no argument. “Don’t worry about it. Just wear my shirt. I won’t wear it again.” His voice was cold and icy, not more softness as when they used to whisper things on your ear.

The coldness in his words made it clear that there was no room for negotiation or further conversation. You nodded numbly, the shirt you were already wearing now feeling like a heavy shroud setting your skin on fire.

As you finished dressing, you glanced around the room one last time, trying to memorize the space you were leaving behind. The sight of the room, so filled with the promise you fooled yourself onto believing.

There was an intensified the ache in your chest.

Joel stood by the door, his posture rigid as if he were bracing himself for something. His eyes didn’t meet yours, focusing instead on some distant point. The silence between you was heavy with the weight of the broken bond that never existed.

As you pulled on your shoes, your heart cracked completely sank in deeper. You looked up, meeting Joel’s eyes one last time.

“Joel, I’m sorry for everything,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “I never meant to cause any harm. I just wanted—”

Joel cut you off with a slight nod, his face still set in a hard expression. “Just go. Please.”

You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat almost making it impossible to speak. The intensity of Joel's gaze, filled with a mixture of pain and indifference, made it clear that any further words would be futile.

With one last, lingering look at him and the room that just yesterday had witnessed three empty words that now didn’t meant anything, you turned and made your way down the hall. Each step felt like a weight lifting off your shoulders, even as the burden of what you were leaving behind pressed heavily on your heart.

As you reached the front door, the cool morning air hit you, providing a stark contrast to the warmth you had felt just hours before. The quiet outside was a jarring reminder of the world that continued, indifferent to the personal turmoil you were experiencing.

With every step, you tried to reconcile the reality you faced with the memories of what you had thought was true, a momentary field of dreams. The pain was sharp and immediate. How would you continue life after losing another love?

+++++++

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liinos · 1 year ago

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It makes me fucking insane how grad programs are like oh did you not go immediately into a masters? Well you better have a good reason why or we might not think you deserve to get one bc you're not committed 🤭 omg you didn't cure cancer or solve world inequality before applying? Don't even look in our direction 🤮 it's so great you want to further your education it would really be a shame if we made it as hard as possible 👉👈

#you read the shit they want and its like okay guess i should kms would that be enough for you😭#also omg i fr need the whole 3 references needed thing explained bc a lot of people do higher education later in life #for one reason or another and i KNOW professors dont remember people past like. a year so 🤨 what then #also sorry sorry but stuff like that grinds my gears bc some of us keep our heads down and mind or business #we dont network and the whole 'you should do it for your future' idea leaves such a bad taste in my mouth bc it feels exploitative #but like sorry i suffer from crippling shyness and speaking to my professors made me feel like i should have been shot 👍#higher education is so fucked bc they make you jump through so many hoops and like. mf i am still paying you for this #do you want money or not???? like a phd program i get but you pay tuition for a masters.........#anyway. i dont think ill end up bothering bc reading requirements today made me almost cry out of frustration so👍👍👍👍#anyone else feel like everyone else is miles ahead of them and that theyre just floundering😁 woefully underprepared and #underqualified for life and suffering the consequences of being terrified to speak to people in college 👍#and also simultaneously numb to and unable to handle rejection 👍#like i could find non college courses just for personal betterment but even thinking about it fills me with hashtag shame #and it doesnt help that no matter what i do if it isnt smth exactly in line with my parents thinking theyre so judgy about it 😔#and i cant even talk to them about how i feel bc one thing about them they will make me feel sooooo much worse when🤣#they never react the way id want or expect them to its kind of hilarious like i dont even WANT to talk to them #it would be equivalent to torture for me quite frankly 👍 idk maybe ill talk through it with my friend #shes at least sort of where im at but shes also like. Doing Shit and Has Plans so.#but i think she gets me a little bit. granted i may cry and i dont really need to do that in front of her #for many reasons 😭😭 i would fr never be able to face her again #anyway. how are your nights going

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rafecameronssl4t · 18 days ago

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Will Rafe and readers children get arranged marriage too? If it’s traditional in reader’s family does that mean that there’s matches found for the children already? Would reader let that happen to her kids? I expect reader’s parents would push for arrangements to be made as soon as a child is born

Always repeating itself || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

A/n: lol I was think of this video for the beginning since I saw soo many tiktok comments joking abt it how it would be him walking to the car and saying kids get in the car 😭😭

Warnings: angst!!!!

Word count: 2,193

MASTERLIST (forced marriage au masterlist)

divider by @h-aewo

“Kids! Let’s go!” Rafe’s voice carries from the foyer, sharp and commanding, though not without a hint of warmth. You take a moment to smooth down Madeline’s dress, her little hands fidgeting as her eyes gleam with excitement. “Alright, sweetheart, off you go,” you whisper, giving her a gentle nudge as she bolts toward the door, her laughter ringing through the hallway.

Leo lingers behind, slower to move, his tiny fingers wrapped tightly around your hand. “Careful on the stairs,” you call after Madeline, already bounding ahead, her shoes thudding loudly against the floor. You grab your bag, glancing back one more time at Leo as he moves in front of you. His small hands gripping the railing as he steps carefully down each stair.

“Take your time, Leo,” you murmur, a soft smile spreading across your face as your hand instinctively rests on your rounded belly, the growing weight of the life inside you grounding your steps. Rafe watches from below, his eyes narrowing slightly but softening as he sees Leo’s slower pace. Madeline is already at his side, her hands swinging in his, filled with boundless energy.

“C’mon, buddy,” Rafe says, his tone firm yet encouraging as he extends his hand toward Leo. Leo finally reaches his father, slipping his small hand into Rafe’s, while you take the final steps down, your movements slower, more deliberate. Rafe’s eyes linger on you for a moment, something unreadable flickering across his face before he turns back to the children. “Got everything?” he asks, his voice low as he reaches for the car keys.

You nod softly, pressing a hand against your stomach again, feeling the light kick beneath your skin. “Yeah,” you reply with a hum, your eyes locking with his for a brief second before shifting to the children, now racing toward the front door. There’s a weight to the moment, one that neither of you acknowledges out loud, but it lingers like the unspoken words always do between you two.

Rafe steps aside, closing the door behind you as he unlocks the g-wagon with a beep. You open the back door for the kids, watching as Leo and Madeline clamber into their seats, their excitement barely contained. Rafe moves around the car, quietly buckling the kids in. His movements are precise, almost mechanical, but there’s an undeniable care in the way he makes sure their belts are snug.

You lean back in your seat, one hand tracing slow circles on your belly, feeling the gentle stirring beneath the fabric of your dress. The feeling always brings you a strange comfort, a reminder of the life growing inside you, of the future you didn’t quite plan but now couldn’t imagine without. Sliding into the driver’s seat, Rafe shifts the car into gear, glancing over his shoulder as he reverses out of the driveway. The sound of the tyres crunching against the gravel fills the silence for a few moments.

“Do you know what this is about?” Rafe breaks the silence, his eyes flicking toward you with a mixture of curiosity and mild concern. There’s something else there too—wariness, perhaps. He’s never been one to be at ease around your parents, and this unexpected meeting only stirs that discomfort. You shrug lightly, your gaze focused out the window for a moment before returning to the rhythmic movement of your hands across your stomach.

“No idea,” you murmur, your voice soft, almost distant. You can feel the tension building in your chest, an old, familiar feeling whenever your parents are involved. The tightness grows as you try not to overthink why they summoned you today, especially with the children. What could be so urgent? Rafe’s grip tightens on the wheel, and you don’t miss the slight clench of his jaw.

He’s never been good at hiding his frustration, though he tries for your sake—sometimes. There’s a part of you that wonders if he’s bracing himself for whatever demands or expectations your parents are about to lay at your feet. You glance at the rearview mirror, catching sight of Madeline and Leo in the back, completely oblivious to the tension building in the front seat.

“You’re joking,” Rafe scoffs, his voice dripping with disbelief as he swirls the amber liquid in his glass, the ice clinking softly. He brings the glass to his lips, taking a slow sip of bourbon, his eyes narrowing at your parents across the grand dining room. You sit beside him, frozen in place, trying to process the words that had just shattered whatever illusion of calm you thought you’d have during this meeting.

It was bound to happen, but hearing it out loud felt like a punch to the gut. “They’re still children!” Rafe’s voice slices through the tension hanging in the room, his frustration flaring as he slams the glass onto the table, the sound reverberating through the ornate dining room. “And are we forgetting the fact that she’s still not born?” His hand gestures sharply toward your swollen belly, his anger spilling over as your hands instinctively cradle your stomach.

Rafe’s gaze is intense, his blue eyes flashing with a mixture of disbelief and fury. His jaw is clenched, the muscles tightening as he glares at your parents, the weight of their expectations pressing down on him, on both of you. The suffocating traditions of your family—arranged marriages, predetermined futures, heirs before individuals—were wearing on him, threatening to tear down the fragile balance you had both tried to maintain.

Your father leans back in his chair, unfazed by Rafe’s outburst, his expression as steely as ever. Your mother, ever poised, crosses her legs delicately, her cool composure only fueling the fire in Rafe’s gaze. They’ve seen this reaction before—yours, when you were told of your own arranged marriage. To them, this is just another step in the preservation of the family’s legacy, a legacy that had been woven into every decision, every expectation.

“Rafe, we understand your concerns,” your mother begins, her voice calm, like she’s explaining a simple business arrangement. “But this is not about today. This is about securing their future. She may not be born yet, but she, like her siblings, will have her place in this family, and part of that is ensuring they all have the right alliances.”

Rafe scoffs, running a hand through his hair, his frustration only building as he listens to their cold, calculated reasoning. He turns to you, his eyes searching your face, looking for something—anything—that shows you’re as disturbed by this conversation as he is. You meet his gaze, your hands still resting protectively over your stomach, feeling the soft flutter of movement inside you.

Part of you wants to agree with him, to speak up and tell your parents that this is madness. That your children deserve a choice, a chance at a life that isn’t dictated by contracts and old traditions. But the other part of you—the part that had been raised in this world, where duty and legacy are everything—knows this was always inevitable. It’s the same fate that was chosen for you.

Rafe’s voice lowers, but the anger remains. “You’re planning their futures before they can even speak for themselves. Do you realise how insane that sounds?” He turns back to your father, who has remained quiet throughout the exchange, observing Rafe’s reaction with a measured gaze. “Rafe,” your father finally says, his tone cool and authoritative, the kind that commands respect.

“This isn’t about insanity. It’s about responsibility. You, of all people, should understand the importance of that. Our families were built on these alliances, and your children will carry on that legacy.” Rafe leans back in his chair, exhaling harshly, his fingers tapping against the edge of the table as he tries to contain the frustration boiling inside him. He’s always hated this aspect of your family—the suffocating rules, the unspoken expectations that had shaped your life from the moment you were born.

Your mother’s expression was unreadable, though you know her well enough to catch the subtle lift of her chin—an indication that she expected this reaction from Rafe. “Y/n,” Rafe mutters, turning his head toward you, searching your face for any sign of how you were taking this, his blue eyes flickering with something close to desperation.

He’s waiting for you to speak up, to be the buffer between him and your parents, as you often are. You swallow hard, the weight of the situation pressing down on you. Of course, you knew this day would come. In your world, in the world of dynasties and old money, these things were decided long before feelings or personal desires were even considered. Your children were not just your own; they were the future of two powerful families, and with that came the responsibility to uphold the tradition of arranged marriages.

It’s what had happened to you, after all. “Rafe, I understand that in your family, this may seem insane…” you begin, your voice steady, though your heart is pounding with the weight of the situation. Inside, a storm of conflicting emotions rages—your loyalty to your family’s legacy, the deep-rooted traditions you were raised with, and the growing sense that this isn’t the life you want for your children.

You glance at Rafe, watching as his anger simmers just beneath the surface, his fingers drumming impatiently against the side of his glass. “Oh this is more than insane and you know it, Y/n.” His eyes meet yours briefly, a flash of frustration and disbelief swirling in the blue depths. His family may be wealthy, even powerful in their own right, but they’ve never adhered to these kinds of traditions.

The antiquated practices your parents held onto with such ferocity were foreign to him, and every time they were brought up, it was like another layer of expectation was placed on his shoulders. You shift in your seat, trying to navigate the tightrope between the world you come from and the man beside you. “But in this family—your family now—this is what’s expected,” you continue, trying to keep your voice calm, even as your own doubts creep in.

“Our children’s futures are tied to these alliances. It’s not just about them, it’s about securing the family’s legacy.” Rafe’s jaw clenches visibly, his knuckles whitening around the glass as he sets it down with a little more force than necessary. “So what, they just get to be pawns in some game?” he snaps, his voice low but filled with restrained anger. “Is that all we are to them?”

You wince at his words, knowing that’s exactly how he sees it. It’s how you once saw it too. But you’d been trained your whole life to believe it was more than that—that it was a duty, a responsibility to the family. Yet, sitting here now, with your hands protectively over your stomach, the reality of arranging your own children’s marriages before they’ve even had the chance to live feels like a cruel twist of fate. One you never wanted to inflict on them.

Your father clears his throat, leaning forward slightly, his eyes sharp, watching the exchange closely. “Rafe,” he says, his voice measured, authoritative. “This isn’t a game. It’s about ensuring the stability of the family. The world we live in requires certain… arrangements. We all made sacrifices for this, and so will our children.”

Rafe shakes his head, leaning back in his chair, exhaling harshly as he runs a hand through his hair. “Sacrifices?” he mutters under his breath, his voice tinged with bitterness. He looks at you again, the plea in his eyes unmistakable. He’s desperate for you to push back, to stand with him against your parents and their rigid traditions.

But you hesitate, your gaze dropping to your stomach once more. How can you deny the truth of what your father is saying? You’ve lived it—your entire life has been shaped by these expectations. “I know it’s hard to understand,” you finally say, your voice softening as you turn back to Rafe.

“But it’s how things are done in this family. We have to think about the bigger picture.” Rafe’s eyes narrow, his frustration palpable. “And what about them?” he asks. “What about their lives, their choices? Are we just going to take that away from them before they even have a chance?” His words hit you hard, stirring something deep within you.

The idea of your children—your daughter, not yet born—being forced into the same mould you had been, fills you with a sense of dread. But the pull of your family’s expectations is strong, and breaking away from it feels impossible. You can already sense your mother’s disapproval, the way her gaze sharpens at Rafe’s defiance, as if he’s an outsider who doesn’t understand the way things work in your world.

Rafe’s eyes flash with frustration, his lips pressing into a thin line. “I don’t care if that’s how it’s always been done,” he snaps, his voice rising slightly before he catches himself. “They’re not us, Y/n. They deserve more than this.” Your heart tightens at his words because a part of you knows he’s right. You glance at your parents, their expressions unchanged, as if they had heard these objections a thousand times before.

Your father’s gaze settles on Rafe with the kind of authority that comes from years of making decisions others are expected to follow. “We are not here to debate this, Rafe” your father says, his tone calm but firm. “This is about securing the future. Our future. Our children’s future.” Rafe lets out a bitter laugh, shaking his head as he looks away, staring out the large windows behind your parents.

The sun is setting, casting a soft glow over the estate’s immaculate gardens, but the beauty of it is lost in the suffocating atmosphere inside. You know this conversation is far from over, and as Rafe’s hand curls into a fist on the table, you can’t help but wonder how much longer you can keep navigating this delicate balance between your family’s expectations and the life you want for your children.

“This is ridiculous,” Rafe mutters again, quieter now, his voice barely cutting through the heavy silence that lingers in the room. His fingers tap restlessly against the armrest, and just as you’re about to respond, the sound of doors swinging open pulls your attention. You turn to see Leo and Madeline barreling toward you, their shoes tapping against the polished floor, their laughter momentarily breaking the tension.

Behind them, the maid rushes in, her face flushed with worry as she tries to catch up. “I’m so sorry—” she starts, breathless, but before she can finish, Rafe stands abruptly, the legs of his chair scraping harshly against the floor. “It’s fine. We’re done here,” Rafe says, his voice firm as he looks at you, then shifts his gaze to your parents, making it clear that this conversation is over.

The weight of his decision hangs in the air, thick with unspoken words. As Madeline runs up to him, her small arms reaching for him to pick her up, Rafe’s features soften, if only for a moment, as he bends down to scoop her into his arms. You sigh quietly, exchanging a look with your mother, her expression unreadable but the disapproval still lingering in her eyes.

There’s a silent understanding between you—this conversation isn’t over, not really. You rise from your seat, your movements slow as you reach for Leo’s hand, his small fingers curling around yours. With one last glance at your parents, you follow Rafe out, the heavy door closing behind you with a finality that echoes in the pit of your stomach.

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mountttmase · 2 months ago

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Catch You

Note - Holiday Mase alert 🚨 so glad I could get this posted before summer was over 😭 and thank you to @saltyheartnightmare for the concept that sparked this 🩷 I hope you enjoy and please let me know your thoughts 🥰

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 24k

Warnings - fluff and angst

It had been a long time since Mason had a photoshoot like this and to say he was feeling a little awkward about it would be an understatement.

Especially now you were watching.

You weren’t meant to be there, in fact you were quite looking forward to an admin day in the office so you could get your life in order but today it just wasn’t meant to be.

You got that being the newest recruit meant you would have to do certain jobs until you’d earned the right to do what you’d been hired for but it had been three months now and you still felt like the office newbie.

Studying fashion had been hard and the fact you’d even managed to bag yourself a job as a stylist was an achievement in itself but no matter how many shoots you’d been on since joining you’d never managed to actually style anyone. You made tea’s or unloaded the van and set up the racks. All you wanted was your foot in the door and to actually do what you loved but it was taking longer than you’d thought it would.

You’d tried going it alone for a while after you’d graduated but you weren't getting anywhere so you signed up to an agency with the promise of collaborative working and shared ideas. It was turning out to be a lot easier than working by yourself as you were in an office most days working with loads of talented people but yet you still felt out of place a bit.

It was hard to book shoots or even work on other peoples when you weren’t published anywhere and you were finding it hard to build traction. All you needed was one little break, some good luck and you knew things would take off for you but since you weren't associated with anything to do with fashion in everyone else’s eyes, it was hard.

Your office bestie Freddie had tried, having already been signed up to the agency for a few years and having made the right connections meant right now he was on a shoot that had been set up for him by a friend from London. Apparently it was a big deal and he’d been working on it for months but you were glad not to see him today as all he did was distract you and today you needed calm and to get your head down.

It was difficult but you’d managed to get a fair bit done so when your phone buzzed at around 11am you chanced a look only to find your biggest distractions name pop up and from the look of the message you knew you had to reply.

You’d seen the box on his desk, a big REMEMBER FOR WEDNESDAY sign stuck to the top and after a sneaky peak you saw the watch in question. Thankfully the shoot wasn’t too far away and within half an hour you were walking into the shoot after stopping for a quick coffee as a treat for doing such a good deed.

It was unlike anything you’d ever seen before. Hordes of people running around as the loud bassy music filled the large open plan space. Lights flashing every few seconds as you caught sight of the photographer you’d seen on your previous shoot and you knew he meant business.

You managed to find Freddie fairly easily, right by the rails as he stood with his hands on his head and you knew he was losing his mind a bit until he saw you. A bright smile taking over his face as he grabbed yours and placed a big sloppy kiss on your forehead which made you giggle.

‘Don’t get too ahead of yourself, I might have brought the wrong one’ you laughed, digging into your bag and passing him the box but you saw his shoulders relax as soon as he set his eyes on it.

‘Thank god, honestly the last thing I needed was a fuck up today so I owe you one, Kid’ he told you, and you fought back the roll of your eyes at his stupid nickname for you. Placing the box on the table so he could reassess what he had and you used that time to have another quick look around and see what was going on.

‘How’s it going?’ You asked when you turned back but you could tell something wasn't right with him.

‘Alright I guess’ he shrugged and you raised your eyebrows in hopes he’d elaborate a bit. Working on a shoot like this was the ultimate dream for you so the fact it was only alright to him seemed strange and you knew something was wrong. ‘I don’t know, I feel like somethings missing and I’m not sure what. Would you take a look at the shots for me?’

‘Me?’

‘Yes you, you wombat. You might be able to see things I can’t’ he told you before nodding over to where the shoot was taking place and your jaw almost dropped to the floor when you saw the first picture.

How you hadn’t seen this man as soon as you walked in you’d never know but now you had you couldn’t stop looking. Your eyes flying from the screen to see him stood against the backdrop and his eyes met yours softly before he looked away with a timid smile.

He was a natural in front of the camera, doing everything they were telling him to effortlessly all while making everyone around him laugh but even though his personality was clearly shining through, he could have been as dull as a door knob and you still would have had the same reaction to seeing him.

He was beautiful.

Dark brown eyes that shone under the floodlights, a beautifully sculpted nose that you wanted to run your finger down and a smile that you knew would break a million hearts. He was pretty in a way most boys aren’t and as he stood there in a full suit and just socks you felt your heart stumble and how cute he looked.

‘Who’s he?’ You asked, trying to act as nonchalant as possible and not arouse suspicion that you’d just seen the most beautiful creature ever created but thankfully Freddie was so in his own head he didn’t suspect a thing.

‘Who Mason? Footballer, he plays for United’ he told you and you just nodded and pretended like you knew what that meant. It shocked you that he wasn’t an actual model as he definitely had the face for it but you could tell from his build he was sporty. His muscular arms almost straining against his selves and you had to tear your eyes away from him to look back at the screen. ‘You remember Woody? He’s his best friend and set this up for me’

You’d met Woody once at a work event and emailed him a few times since then. He worked for the same agency as you just down in London but you had no idea his best friend looked like a gift from god and you started the piece all the parts together as you watched Mason awkwardly stand there as his hair was being messed with for the next shots.

‘Wow it really is who you know huh’ you teased but you could see him rolling his eyes as you looked at a few more pictures before Freddie huffed in annoyance.

‘Do you see what I mean? Something's off’ he told you and as you chewed on your lip you wondered if you should tell him the truth or play it safe with him however in the end you knew you had to tell him your thoughts honestly as this shoot clearly meant a lot to him.

‘I think there’s too much going on. It’s supposed to be all about the watch right?’ You asked and he nodded at you curiously. ‘Okay well the tie needs to go first if all and there too many rings on just the one will be fine’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, keep the ring finger one on the opposite hand but the rest can go. Keep the top button done up as well and add a button clip. What else do you have?’

‘The other outfits are over by the rail with the model shots on. Let me sort him out but you go take a look I’ll be back’ he told you before scurrying off to adjust Mason so you could take a look at what was left to come. You knew what he meant and even though you liked every style he’d picked there were changes you would have made and thankfully enough the pair of you were comfortable enough around each other to say it like it is. ‘What do you think then, kid?’ You suddenly heard, looking up to see Freddie looking at you expectantly so you quickly got out a pen to make notes on his sheet.

‘I don’t like that shirt open, button it up apart from the top few and tuck it in. And go with the vans over the Nikes’

‘You think?’ He questioned but you could tell from his voice he wasn’t questioning you and was actually taking on board what you had to say.

‘Definitely. And this one, try him without that jacket too like just with the vest’ you shrugged before looking up at his quizzical face. ‘Just try it, if I’m wrong I’m wrong’ you told him but it wasn't long before Freddie was being called over to the screen and you knew he liked what he was seeing now. Calling you over to have a look for yourself before you were grinning at each other.

‘Can you go pick me a belt out for him to go with the tucked in shirt? I think we might need a chunkier one’ he told you as you walked back over to the racks and you scanned over the accessories as Freddie started typing on his phone before he nudged you shoulder. ‘You want a coffee?’

‘Oh sure, do you want me to get everyone’s order?’ You asked. Slipping back into your assistant persona quickly but he was quick to shake his head at you.

‘Nah, I’ll get one of the interns to go. Just tell me what you want’ he told you and you had to stop yourself from smiling. This was the first time someone had ever taken your order on a shoot and it felt like a big moment for you.

‘Oh um, a latte please’ you nodded, turning away to hide your smile and you could see him writing it down before he was looking back up with a smile.

‘No worries’ he chuckled, looking around until his eyes fell on Mason and you made yourself look busy by picking out a belt like Freddie had told you too. ‘Mase! You want a coffee?’

‘Latte please’ he called back, his voice getting closer as he made his way over and the sound of it made you smile. He sounded friendly but sexy at the same time and you found yourself biting your lip to try and hide how giddy you were feeling at the prospect of maybe getting to talk to him.

‘Mase come here, I want you to meet y/n’ Freddie called, pulling on your arm to get you to turn around and once you had he was a lot closer than you first realised.

‘Nice to meet you’ you smiled, holding your hand out for Mason to shake but when he flashed you his pearly whites you suddenly didn’t feel as confident as you did a few seconds ago. You felt shy and intimidated by his looks which never usually happened but you could also see he was just a normal nice guy underneath all that and it settled you a little and his hand felt warm in yours as he shook it.

‘You too’ he replied quietly, his cheeks a healthy shade of pink now and you figured he was just a little shy when he couldn't keep up eye contact with you for very long before he was looking to Freddie for help.

‘She’s actually made a few last minute changes to what you’re wearing but I just need you to go with it’ Freddie explained, but Mason just nodded along like it was nothing. Clearly he was used to lots of last minute changes in these conditions.

‘You know me mate, I just do what I’m told’ Mason laughed but before anyone could say anything else he was whisked off with a new outfit in hand to get changed into. His silly comment making your cheeks burn for a reason you didn’t want to elaborate on but thankfully Freddie was too in the zone to quiz you about anything.

You stayed for the rest of the shoot. Getting things ready for Mason to change into and Freddie even let you have the final say before Mason went back in front of the camera. You and Mason catching eyes every now and then and everytime he smiled because of you the photographer would tell him to keep going and smile more.

The plan wasn’t to spend the whole day at the shoot by soon enough it was 4:30 and you wondered where the day had gone. You’d had the best time though and the day had only cemented in your brain that this was exactly where you should be. Hopefully soon you’d be the one calling all the shots though.

‘Were going for dinner soon, you coming?’ Freddie asked as he brushed up beside you whilst you packed some things away but you just shrugged, not sure if he wanted you to say yes or no.

‘Oh um, I don’t want to intrude’ you started but Freddie just shook his head with a smile.

‘You wouldn’t be, Mase actually asked if you were coming so consider yourself officially invited’

‘I need to tidy some bits away at the office and send some emails’ you mused, knowing if you stayed and went for dinner you’d have extra work to make up tomorrow but the thought of getting to eye up Mason a bit more was swaying you.

‘Well head off now and you can meet us there okay?’ Freddie insisted and that was all it took to convince you. Packing your bag away and with a few quick goodbyes you rushed back to the office with a spring in your step.

You were in a pretty good mood and managed to get all your tasks done easily. Freddie texting you around 15 minutes before you were due to leave and thankfully the restaurant wasn’t too far from the office. You spotted Freddie straight away, tapping the seat that was next to him for you to sit down in but the fact Mason was on the other side made you excited and nervous. Wondering if you’d be able to talk to him a little more after today's events and thankfully enough you saw the way his face lit up as you approached.

‘You don’t mind me sitting here do you?’ You asked as you slid into the seat but he just shook his head as he subtly chewed on his bottom lip.

‘Of course not. I saved that one especially for you so I can pick your brains a bit’ he winked. Feeling your cheeks flush at the thought of him wanting to sit with you and it was almost as if you couldn't contain your surprise.

‘Me?’

‘Yeah, of course. You really made the difference today so I’ve got some questions for you… if that’s alright like you can tell me to shut up’

‘No no, I’d love that. Hit me with it’

You barely said three words to Freddie all night. Mason was taking up all of your attention as you spoke about the day and all it entailed until you branched off into other things. The conversation flowing easily between the two of you and you could feel your cheeks hurting from smiling so much as he came out of his shell throughout the evening. Eventually showing you some pictures of his all time fashion fails so you could laugh at them together.

Freddie took you home when it was time to leave and after a big hug goodbye from Mason, Freddie was giving you a look as he walked you to the tube.

‘What’s that look for?’

‘No reason? You have a good night?’

‘The best. Thank you so much for letting me stay like the whole days been amazing’

‘Well it should be me that’s thanking you, you really saved me today’ he told you, flinging his arm around your shoulder but he really didn’t need to thank you at all.

‘I’ve always got your back bestie’

y/n recently added to their stories

Considering the shoot day was the first time you’d met Mason, ever since that day he’d become somewhat of a repeat cast member to the insane reality show that was becoming your life.

Freddie had a fair few jobs lined up with him as Mason had some events coming up that he needed to be dressed for so you’d seen him a few times in the office for fittings. Unfortunately it was only in passing and you hadn’t managed to have a proper chat with him like that first day at dinner but he was always quick to greet you with a warm smile and a quick hug and you knew the silly little crush on him you’d developed on the first day of meeting him was going nowhere.

It was hard not to like him, he was gorgeous and funny and his smile made your heart race but the fact he was just a normal guy made you warm to him immediately and everytime he was around your eyes would constantly find his until you were both laughing every time it happened. The both of you never really knowing what you were laughing at and therefore unable to explain it to anyone else but just one look into his triple chocolate fudge brownie eyes made you giddy.

Even when you got home you didn’t stop thinking about him. Spending your nights watching countless tiktoks of him goofing around or searching him up on YouTube to watch his game highlights. You’d never been into football before and had no idea what was going on but watching him run around with a big smile on his face made your heart happy and you couldn’t believe your new friend was so talented. Feeling an immense sense of pride as you looked over all of his accomplishments so far.

It was a few weeks later when you got to talk to him properly again. Walking into the office to see him sat in your seat next to Freddie’s desk and you felt happier immediately knowing you’d get to see him today. Wondering if you might get a bit longer to talk to him and from the cheeky smile he sent you, you figured he might be just as happy to see you.

‘You’re in my seat, Mount’ you told him playfully, watching him look up at you in shock before the brightest smile you’d ever seen flashed across his face.

‘I’m just keeping it warm for you’ he winked, getting up as you approached but before you couldn’t do much else as he pulled you into a bone crushing hug causing you to laugh into his chest.

‘Oh get a room you two’ you suddenly heard Freddie moan. Lifting your head up to see him smiling at you as he walked over but you just rolled your eyes. Feeling Mason's chest rumble as he chuckled at his stupid comment but the pair of you pulled away from each other slowly so as not to cause anymore comments to be made. ‘You ready Mase?’

‘What’s happening?’ You questioned as Freddie dropped a box on his desk that he began to open and you couldn't make out what was going on even though they seemed excited by it.

‘’I’ve got the first copy of his edition’ Freddie smiled, pulling the box apart to retrieve a few copies and it was like the excitement had slapped you across the face.

‘Ooo I wanna see’ you replied, your voice excited as you clapped yours hands together and fought to make you way next to Freddie who was flapping it open and pulling one out.

‘I thought you might, that’s why we waited for you. Thanks for being late today, kid’ he teased but you just rolled your eyes.

‘Oh be quite’ you huffed. Taking the copy he handed you and when Mason placed his hands on your shoulders from behind, you smiled up at him. The pair of you excited to see how it had all turned out and as soon as your eyes landed on the front cover they began to well up.

You remember that picture being taken. It was just after you’d met Mason and once he’d gone back to take a few more shots you remembered him looking over to you as you and Freddie bickered like siblings over what belt to go with the next outfit.

‘What do you think?’ Freddie asked quietly, nudging your shoulder as he passed Mason his own copy but you were eager to see more of what was inside.

‘It looks amazing’

‘Yeah I’m not bad am I’ you heard Mason murmur next to you causing you to giggle but you couldn’t disagree with him. He looked gorgeous.

Every picture looked better than the last and even though it was a struggle, you were trying not to look at his face. Wanting to look at what he was wearing and all the changes you’d made but as you flicked through to the last page you felt your heart stutter.

‘Wait what’s that?’ You mumbled. Your voice slightly shaken as you read over what you thought you’d seen and no matter how much you blinked it didn’t go away.

‘What’s what?’ Freddie asked and when you looked up to him he was looking back with a knowing smile.

‘Is that my name?’ You whispered, pointing down to where it was written in black and white and it was almost like you were in a dream.

‘Of course it is’ Freddie smiled, shrugging his shoulder like it was nothing but to you it meant everything.

‘But Freddie I didn’t-‘

‘You saved my bacon, it’s the least I could do’ he told you sincerely and before you knew it you’d launched yourself at him. Hugging him tightly and he held you back knowing how big this was for the both of you. ‘Now you’re published, you can help me on my next shoot, right?’ He laughed, pulling away and ruffling your hair a bit but you didn’t even mind. You were too over the moon with everything to care.

‘Really?’

‘I’ll set us up a meeting, yeah? I wanna get your input. I think you and me are gonna make a pretty good team’

‘Oh Freddie, this changes everything for me, you know that right?’ You told him. Your bottom lip wobbling as you were so overcome with emotion but you held it in as best as you could.

‘I know kid’ he told you sincerely as you felt your eyes well with tears. You didn’t want him to see you this emotional though so you flung your arms around his shoulders so you could hide away but you felt his chuckle as he pulled you in and swayed you from side to side a bit. ‘Come on, don’t get upset. You don’t wanna be known as the office cryer’ he joked. Pulling away from you so you could wipe your eyes but you weren’t alone for too long. Mason wrapping his arms around your shoulders from behind and settling his cheek on top of your head as you melted into him.

‘We should celebrate’ Mason smiled and you nodded enthusiastically before his eyes fell to Freddie but from the sour look he was giving you you knew he wouldn’t be able to make it.

‘I can’t mate, I’ve got a date with the old ball and chain tonight’ Freddie winked but you just rolled your eyes. You hadn’t met his girlfriend Lex yet but Freddie always spoke about her like the sun shone out of her arse so you knew he was just playing.

‘Just you and me then?’ He questioned. Looking down at you before moving you to the side and even though you wanted to shout yes you also didn’t want to come across as too eager. ‘Come on, let me buy you dinner for making me look so good’ he asked and you couldn’t help but giggle.

‘Okay’ you smiled, watching his face light up as you nodded and suddenly you were filled with nerves.

‘Perfect. I’ll pick you up after work yeah? When you you finish?’

‘I can be out of here by five’

‘Okay I’ll meet you out the front’ he smiled warmly and even if you wanted to reply you could. Freddie announcing he needed Mason in one of the dressing rooms to try some things on and you knew you needed to get on with your emails so you let him go.

It was at times like this you were grateful you kept a little makeup bag at work. Slipping off to the toilets so you could spruce yourself up a bit before Mason came to get you and thankfully he came right back into your office to escort you back down to his car. Freddie waving you off like a proud parent but you just rolled your eyes at him.

The place Mason had picked wasn’t so fancy that you felt out of place but it was definitely one of the nicer places you’d ever been to. The pair of you next to each other in a round booth so you could hear the other and even though you could tell he was a little bit shy, he still gave you good eye contact which in turn was making you feel shyer than you had in a long time.

‘So you know Woody, right?’ He asked as the waiter left with your orders. ‘I spoke to him the other day and he mentioned he speaks to you sometimes’

‘Yeah I’ve met him once and we’ve emailed a bit, he’s a cute kid’ you smiled but the look on his face made you realise what you’d said.

‘Don’t let him hear you say that’ he laughed, your face burning instantly that you’d called him that in front of his best friend but from the way Mason was laughing you knew it would be fine.

‘Sorry, Freddie keeps calling me kid and it’s stuck but I know the feeling it makes me furious. Please don’t tell him I said that’

‘Secrets safe with me’ he winked and you felt your face warm.

The conversation flowed easily and he grew with confidence as the time passed. Making silly jokes that had you laughing more than you had in a while and it was so nice to see him come out of his shell a little bit and be the cheeky boy you’d come to know from videos online.

‘Any exciting plans coming up that I can crash?’ He asked, sending you a wink and your heart fluttered at his cute little face.

‘Not really, I’m trying to book myself onto some jobs and make some connections so I’m hoping that will be a little easier now’ you told him, watching him nod understandingly as you wracked your brain to think of something else that didn’t make you sound so boring. ‘Oh I’ve got a work trip coming up with some of the guys too in a couple of months but I think it’s just an excuse for a holiday in all honesty’

‘Malta right?’

‘How did you know?’ You smiled, watching his cheeks and nose flush as he smiled sweetly.

‘Woodys going, he extended the invite actually since I know most of you lot going but I wasn’t sure since he’s taking his girlfriend’ he huffed, rolling his eyes like he was annoyed his best friend had been stolen from him. ‘I didn’t wanna be the third wheel but now I know you’ll be there I may reconsider’ he winked ‘Unless you’ve got a boyfriend you’re taking… or girlfriend you know, whatever floats your boat’

‘No I don't have a boyfriend to take… or a girlfriend’ you laughed. ‘I’m not even sure I want to go, the other two girls are like thing one and two so I know I’ll be on my own and Freddie’s taking his girlfriend so he’s not gonna be around much on the off days’

‘All the more reasons for me to come then’ he winked and you couldn’t deny the idea excited you.

‘Mason you’ve known me three weeks’

‘Exactly so I’ve still got so much to learn and what an amazing time to do it’ he laughed, but you noticed after his face fell a little bit. ‘If you don’t want me to I won't come’

‘Don’t pull out on my account’ you laughed, feeling slightly bad for making him feel not welcome. ‘What will you do while we’re at the event though?’

‘There’s a training camp not too far, it’s a good excuse for some warm weather training’ he shrugged and you could tell he was a little disappointed by your reaction.

‘I suppose it’ll be nice to have someone to sit with at dinner’ you mused, watching his face light up knowing you wanted him there and wouldn’t turn him away.

‘So you’ll let me come?’ He asked quietly.

‘It’s not my decision’ you laughed ‘But if it was then yes I’d let you’

‘Consider me there then’ he laughed before changing the subject. Gushing about how well you’d done at the shoot and how he loved all the changes you’d made. Asking if maybe the pair of you could work on some things together that Freddie couldn’t fit in and the thought of getting to dress Mason excited you more than you thought it should.

Mason dropped you home at the end of the night, refusing to let you walk up to your flat alone and just as he was saying goodby you lent up to kiss his cheek to say thank you. Clearly he wasn’t expecting it and you watched as his face softened when you pulled away and you could have sworn he was blushing a little bit. Bidding you a quick goodbye like he was nervous and once you’d shut your door you couldn’t help but smile at how adorable he was.

A knock on your door a few moments after made you laugh as you knew it could only be him and when you opened the door back up to Mason standing there awkwardly as you sent him a bright smile.

‘You forget something?’

‘Could I um… could I maybe get your number?’ He gulped ‘I was gonna ask Freddie for it but that felt a bit lame and intrusive’

Considering Mason was a footballer you couldn’t get over how nervous and shy he was around you. This wasn’t the same boy you’d met a few weeks ago posing for the camera but you loved that he had a soft side like this that he was willing to show you so you quickly nodded and held your hand out for his phone which he unlocked for you.

Once he was ready to go again It was his turn to kiss your cheek this time and you knew he was terrified. Bolting away as soon as his lips touched your skin and you stood there giggling as he practically ran away from you.

You kept in touch over text, Freddie and Mason working on a few more things together as he had some events to go to and thus sometimes you’d see him in the office. He would always stop by for a quick hug and a chat though and each time you saw him your cheeks would ache more and more.

Having a crush on a footballer wasn’t something that was on your bingo card for this year but it seemed to have hit you like a truck. Every time his name popped up on your phone your chest felt warm and he made you laugh like no one else. Every picture that he sent you made your tummy flutter and you were certain you’d never seen a man as pretty as him before.

You knew how you felt about Mason, and you were pretty sure he felt the same. Always seeking you out when he could and it didn’t help with comments from Freddie all the time. Telling you both to get a room or just kiss already and the fact Mason would wink at you everytime let you know it was something he maybe actually wanted.

You’d managed to hang out with him for longer too. Freddie inviting you along for dinner with Mason to talk about another shoot that was coming up but when Freddie’s girlfriend showed up too, you felt like you were on a double date. Her giving you the eyes like she knew something was going on but in reality nothing was. The fact this was the first time you’d met her and she was already picking up on the vibe satisfied you though as clearly others could see what you already knew.

You were typing away at your desk the next morning when your phone buzzed. Masons face popping up on your screen with a picture you’d taken of him at drinks the week prior and his silly smile still made your heart flutter like the first time you’d seen it.

You knew Freddie was on his way over so you quickly locked your phone but because Mason never wanted to be the last one to send a text, his name was flashing up soon after he’d joined you and you knew his eyes had caught his name immediately. Raising his brows at you accusingly but you just looked away and pretended to get on with some work.

‘So you and Mason, huh?’ Freddie started, clearly not wanting to let you drop the subject but you kept your eyes fixated on your screen as you typed up some notes for an upcoming shoot.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’

‘Yes you do’ he laughed, your face warming instantly. ‘You know as much as I invited you out for dinner with me and Lex so we could discuss ideas I also did it because I know you both need a kick the bum’

‘Since when when do you meddle in my love life’

‘Since I can see two people who are clearly crazy about each other. Why don’t you take the plunge and tell him, I’ve never known you to not speak your mind’ he told you and his words hit home. Why hadn’t you said anything to him?

‘Freddie I can’t’ you huffed. Knowing he was right and you were never one to shy away from telling someone how you felt but this was different. This was Mason.

‘Look if you don't want to then I won’t push you but he fancies the pants off you’ he shrugged, looking at whatever was in his hands so you couldn’t tell if he was joking or not but when he eventually looked over at your confused face he gave you a reassuring smile. ‘Its true, told me himself that first day you met when you went back to the office before dinner. Why do you think I saved you that seat?’

‘You’re lying’

‘I would never lie to you. He’s just a bit shy around you, that's all yeah? I bet if you were to talk to him about it he’d tell you’ he said nonchalantly like the thought of opening yourself up like that to someone wasn't terrifying.

‘I don’t want things to be weird’

‘They won’t be. I’m not saying you’ve got to marry him but just go on a few dates or something. Get to know him properly. He’s a good guy y/n, and you’d be good for him’ he smiled.

Mason wouldn’t tell you where you were going but told you to dress as nice as you usually do which made you giggle like a schoolgirl. He was unbelievably charming without even really trying and the more you thought about what Freddie had said to you the week prior the more you knew he was right. You were both dancing around the subject and if all Mason needed was a little push then you'd be more than happy to point him in the right direction.

When the night eventually arrived you tried to act as normal as you could with him, but Freddie’s words were replaying in your head. Did he really like you or was he just saying that in hopes you’d both figure it out along the way? Wanting the pair of you to be happy so he was trying to play Cupid but soon after you had sat down those thoughts vanished. Mason being his cheeky but charming self and you caught each other up on the last few weeks.

You never managed to pluck up the courage to speak to him about his feelings at dinner but now you were aware of what he might feel for you, you picked up on the subtle signs that made you think he was into you.

The way he would touch your back and lean into you as you made your way into the restaurant. Pulling your chair out for you as you took a seat before squeezing your shoulders gently. The way his eyes flickered between your eyes and lips as you spoke, hanging off every word you told him and you knew he was listening intently.

When it was time to leave he offered to drop you home just like usual and the urge to grab his hand and hold it on the way back to the car was overwhelming. You settled for him placing his arm around your shoulder though and when you wrapped yours around his waist he held you tighter.

‘Would you like to come in?’ You asked him as he parked up in his usual spot. Your voice full of nerves as you were unsure but he just nodded and smiled before unclipping his seat belt and the nerves hit you in full force as you walked him into your building and up to your flat. ‘Sorry it’s tiny here’ you laughed. Suddenly embarrassed by having him in your space knowing what he probably at home but he just smiled and pulled you into his arms.

‘Hey come here, what up?’ He asked, giving you a quick squeeze before he looked at you again but all you could do was shrug your shoulders.

‘I don’t know’

‘You seem nervous’ he teased and as hard as you tried to stop it you knew your cheeks were on fire.

‘Sorry, just not used to having boys here’

‘It’s only me’ he smiled sweetly, but he didn’t realise that that was the problem.

‘Yeah I know’ you laughed, rolling your eyes before pushing him in the direction on your sofa. ’Make yourself comfy, can I get you a drink or anything?’

‘Waters fine’ he nodded but once you’d returned to him and sat down he was still looking at you with a cheeky smile. ‘What are you doing all the way over there? You’re too far away’ he laughed, holding his hand out for you so you could sit next to him and you let him drag you along the sofa until you were giggling like school kids.

It was only when you both stopped laughing did you realise you needed to say something before you burst. Tucking your legs under your body as you looked at him and it must have been a strange look as you watched him look at you with terror written all over his face.

‘Mason? What would you do if I told you I liked you. Like like liked you’ you asked him, your voice steady as you looked right at him but as soon as the words left your lips he was looking in his lap with a smile and bright red cheeks

‘I’d tell you I like liked you too’ he replied quietly. A sense of relief washing over you and it was also as if you couldn't believe it.

‘Yeah?’

‘Of course’ he giggled. Finding the courage to look back at you again and it was like the pair of you were overflowing with joy. Reaching for the others hands as you lent into each other

‘Mason, I do really like you-‘

‘Oh here it comes’ he laughed, squeezing your hand gently and even though he sounded a little annoyed you could tell he was just playing. ‘Here comes the but’

‘What?’ You giggled, unsure as to what he was getting at but his smile was infectious and you couldn't help but laugh along.

‘I can tell it’s coming from the tone of your voice. ‘I really like you but, you’re a great person but’. Come on then, what’s the but? Break my heart, let’s get it over with’

‘I like you, but I have rules’ you confirmed and you watched his face change immediately.

‘Rules?’ He questioned, clearly not expecting that to come from your lips and you thought how his confused face was adorable.

‘Yes, rules. I’m not the sort of girl to jump right into things okay? I like to take my time and make sure it’s right and that we’re both on the same page. Like what are you looking for exactly?’

‘With you?’ He asked. His eyebrows shooting up at the prospect of having to tell you how he felt but you needed to hear it from him so you both could start at the same place.

‘Yeah. Like what do you see me as? Cause if it’s just sex or something casual that’s not me. I know myself and I’ll just get swept up and hurt so we might as well be honest from the start’

‘Well that’s definitely not what I see you as’ he told you quietly, his face as red as a tomato at the mention of sex and you found his slightly awkward demeanour endearing. ‘I like hanging out with you, and I want to see where things take us’ he told you, but you could tell he was finding it hard to admit his feelings. Thinking maybe it was best you took the lead and laid your cards out on the table for him to follow.

‘I like hanging out with you too’ you smiled watching his shoulders relax as he sent you a shy smile. ‘I think we should hang out some more, like maybe go on an actual date and see what happens’

‘Okay’ he nodded ‘yeah let’s do it’

‘Perfect. Okay rule number two: I also like to keep my business private, you know? That doesn't mean we need to be secretive about whatever might be happening but I just want it kept between us. If I’m in a relationship with someone I want it to be with them and keep it for us rather than share it with everyone. Does that sound okay?’

‘Sounds like music to my ears’ he laughed before taking your hand and pulling you in further to his side. ‘Look I like you okay? I really like you and I’m happy to go with the flow and see where things take us. I’m good at going at whatever pace you want. No pressure or anything, okay?’

‘Okay’ you nodded, thankful he was starting to be able to talk about this a bit more freely. ‘So what do you want?’

‘I want to take you on a date. Many dates in fact’ he laughed and you fell forward into his chest as you tried to hide your giggles in his neck. ‘I want to get to know you better, but from what I know so far I’d say you’re pretty perfect for me’ he divulged and the thought of him thinking that about you already made your heart thump. Wanting to change the subject quickly before you got carried away and declared your undying love for him.

‘Are you… taking other girls on dates? Cause I don’t play those sorts of games’

‘I feel like I’m in a job interview’ he laughed, tickling your side as you squirmed further into his body and you couldn’t get over the feel of it under your fingers. This was the closest the pair of you had been for a long period of time and all you could think about was getting to wrap yourself around him more often ‘But no, I’m not taking other girls on dates. Haven’t been involved with anyone in months actually, I'm a free man. What about you anyway?

‘Too busy with work for dates’ you shrugged. Sitting up to look at him as you were now practically in his lap and all you wanted was to look at his pretty eyes up close.

‘But not too busy for me?’

‘Of course not’ you whispered. ‘Look I’m sorry for all the questions I just like to know where I stand’

‘It’s okay, I like it. It makes it easier knowing what we both want’

‘Well I’m big on communication’ you winked as you grabbed the zip of his jacket to play with and the smile he sent you made your tummy flutter.

‘I can see that. Look, I’m not here to mess you about okay? I like spending time with you and I want to get to know you more. As for all the other stuff I’ll leave that up to you’ he winked. ‘Like when you’re ready and you think the time is right to move onto the next step I’ll be ready to go’

‘Yeah?’

‘Of course. You know I think you’re gorgeous, but don’t tell anyone’ he whispered playfully, tickling your side lightly to tease you but the fact he’d admitted to finding you attractive made you flush.

‘Masonnnn’ you groaned. Trying to hide again as he laughed but he finally wrapped his arms around you fully and you felt yourself relax into his chest.

‘It’s true. Thought it as soon as I saw you. You never saw them but there’s a few shots of me I made then delete from when you first walked in and I was stiff as fuck’ he laughed and even though you knew he didn’t mean it in that way you still looked up at him with a brow raised in disgust.

‘Not like that,’ he laughed. His face going a bright red as he hid his face in your hair and it wasn’t long before you were both giggling again. You tried to move to get him to look at you but he wouldn’t budge.

‘Mason look at me’

‘No I’m embarrassed’ he laughed. ‘I meant like, nervous stiff. They had to tell me to relax my shoulders cause I’d clammed up’

‘Sure’ you winked, watching him roll his eyes as he knew that was something for you to tease him about now. ‘Okay so let’s go on a date’

‘Okay’ he smiled. ‘I’ll think of something good I promise. I have one condition about this whole thing though’

‘What’s that?’

‘When the time is right and you wanna make things official, like if we get there, please can you let me ask you? Like just give me a sign and I’ll make it special for us’

‘What sort of sign?’ you giggled, your cheeks turning red at the thought of him wanting to be official with you at some point but he just shrugged his shoulders.

‘I don’t know, poke me in the ribs or something?’

‘You’re insane’ you laughed, tucking your head into his neck so you could hide but when you wrapped each other up into your arms you felt a sense of peace that you hadn’t felt in a long time wash over you.

Mason couldn’t stay too much longer, having an early morning training session he had to get ready for so you walked him to the door with a pout.

‘So I’ll text you, yeah?’ He asked as you got the door and you sent him a wide grin.

‘You better’ you winked. Watching the corners of his mouth lift into a warm smile before he was leaning down to kiss your cheek just like usual.

There was something different about it this time though, his lips lingering in your skin just that bit longer which gave you the opportunity to raise your hand. Cupping the back of his head so that when he did try to pull away he couldn’t get too far and soon enough his lips were mere centimetres from your own.

You directed his movements and brought him down for your first kiss. Lips, soft and warm, slotting against each others like you’d kissed a million times before as you pressed your body against his even more. Mason's heart thrumming against your hand that was positioned on his chest and it almost matched your own heartbeat that was pounding in your ears.

You never wanted to stop kissing him. Slowly testing the waters as you inched your tongue past his lips but he was more than happy to reciprocate. A content hum falling from his as you played with each other slowly but when he playfully nibbled on your bottom lip you felt your knees go weak. Thankfully he was holding onto you tightly and when you reluctantly pulled away he was looking at you in awe. Lips plump and pink and you couldn’t resist going back in for seconds.

Mason wasn’t in the mood to keep it soft this time. Backing you up against the door as you gripped his shoulders and the vice-like grip on your waist excited you. Kissing you with as much passion as he could muster until you were both moaning into each other's mouths deliciously .

It was Mason that broke the kiss suddenly. Both of your breathing was laboured as he kissed your forehead gently and when you looked back to his face you were both blushing furiously.

‘Sorry’ he chuckled, pressing one more kiss to your lips before pulling away slightly. ‘I should get going’

‘Okay’ you pouted. Knowing it was right for him to go but now you’d finally kissed him all you could think about was kissing him again. ‘Text me when you’re home please’

‘Of course’ he smiled and with one final peck to his pouty lips you let him go.

You let Mason organise your first date, him not really giving you any clues as he wanted it to be a surprise but he promised it wouldn’t be just dinner as you guys had done that a few times before. He told you to dress fairly casually, which you did, and when he picked you up in a grey hoodie and a pair of green cargos you were reminded of how much you loved what he wore every time you’d seen him and the way he managed to make everyday outfits look just that little bit better.

You ended up at treetop mini golf. A place you’d been eying up to go to for ages and you wondered how he knew but in the end you realise it was just a coincidence. You were more than excited though and clearly he was using all his training from actual golf to help as he was winning by a mile.

‘Mase?’ You pouted after his third hole in one. ‘Do you think you could help me?’

‘Of course I can’ he smiled charmingly. ‘What would you like help with?

‘Can you show me how you do it?’ You asked, biting your lip as you reached out a hand for him and once he’d taken it you pulled him over to stand behind you as you wrapped his arms around you. ‘Show me how to swing’

You could tell he was nervous, the warmth of his chest pressed up against your back and it was like you could feel his heart hammering against you before he began to whisper in your ear.

‘Bend your knees a little bit, and arch your back slightly-‘

‘Mason please, were in public’ you teased, and you knew he was embarrassed. Wrapping his arms around you tightly as he buried his head in your neck to stop the laughs but the pair of you were giggling like school children.

‘You’re killing me’

‘Ahh, my plan is working’ you teased. Spinning in his arms so you could face him and you couldn’t stop yourself from giving him a quick kiss. The first one of the night and you could tell he’d been waiting a while for it as he kissed you with a smile and sighed into your mouth.

y/n recently added to their stories

It was your 5th date that fell a week before your trip. Mason had treated you to all sorts of adventures from axe throwing to a drive-in movie but today's outing was a little bit more laid back. Mason currently having Ace for a few days and you knew he needed lots of walks so you met him at the local park to grab a coffee and let Ace have a run around.

It was you that took his hand in yours but him who laced your fingers together and squeezed them gently. Letting you know he was more than happy to hold your hand just like usual he just needed you to make that first move sometimes and when he sent you a toothy lopsided grin you felt your heart stutter.

‘Listen I wanted to talk to you about something’ you told him, watching him raise his brow at you over his cup as he took a sip and you weren’t quite sure how he was going to take what you were about to say. ‘It's about the trip next week’

‘You’re still alright with me going, yeah? Cause you can tell me if you’re not i don’t mind-‘

‘No I want you there I promise’ you laughed, cutting him off as you could see he was about to spiral. ‘I was just wondering if we could maybe keep things on the down low a little while we’re there?’ You asked and you didn’t wait for a reaction before you began explaining yourself. ‘If it was a friends holiday then it would be different it’s just cause I’ll be there with people I work with and that doesn’t mean I want you to keep away from me, like we can still hang out just the two of us-

‘Hey it’s okay’ he laughed. Reaching down to pop a quick kiss on your forehead. ‘I get it, don’t worry

‘Are you sure, I don’t want you to think I don’t want to be seen with you’

‘I don’t think that, gorgeous’ he smiled. ‘It makes perfect sense to me, okay? You don't need to worry’ he confirmed. Squeezing your hand once more to make you believe him and after you sent him a gentle nod he pulled you into his side even further to give you a cuddle. ‘Are you busy for the rest of today?’

‘Never too busy for you, Mason’

‘Come back to mine after? Just for a little bit’ he asked and the idea of being alone with him in his house excited you. Since you were taking things slowly you’d never been to his house but now seemed like a good time and you thought it was cute how he didn’t want to part from you.

‘Okay’ you whispered. Nerves taking over you slightly but when you pulled up to his house, it was even more than you could have imagined. It was humongous, each room decorated perfectly and it’s like he had everything you could ever want and more so after making a pit stop in the kitchen for drinks and snacks, he led you to his huge sofa so you could pick out a movie and relax a bit.

You sat cuddled up in the corner of the sofa as you spoke about next week with the movie as just background noise now. Mason insisting that he’d pick you up in the morning to take you to the airport and you didn’t have the energy to argue with him. It had been a long afternoon and Ace had knackered you out so when Mason shuffled the pair of you down and brought you into his arms you let yourself cuddle into him even more.

‘If you’re not careful, I might just fall for you, Mount’ you told him quietly. Feeling more comfortable and content than you had in the longest time and the quiet rumble of his chest under your ear made you smile.

‘Well if you’re not careful, I might catch you’ he whispered softly against your forehead. Placing a gentle kiss there as you nestled your nose into the soft skin of his neck and you felt the butterflies swarm. Truth was you knew you were already falling for him and had been for a while, you just needed to grow a pair and give him the sign that you were ready to take things further.

That could wait for new though. Right now you felt safe and warm in his arms as he lightly trailed his fingers over your waist and as much as you wanted to kiss him, you also felt like you might not be able to stop yourself from taking things further this time.

‘I could get used to this, you’re comfy’ you told him quietly and you knew he’d heard you but he was too shy to reply. Holding you tighter as you felt your body go heavy and let the sleep finally take you.

A week later, Mason picked you up along the way in the morning to take you to the airport. Helping you get your bags in the Uber before you popped a quick kiss to his lips and once again your favourite blush spread across his cheeks.

Most people were there by the time you arrived, the pair of you quickly saying hello to everyone before he reintroduced you to Woody who in turn introduced you to his girlfriend, Kaz. She seemed sweet and you were glad you would have another girl to hang out with alongside Lex as the only other two girls you knew were Lindsay and Louise. Freddie had always referred to them as thing one and two as they tended to stick together and as much as you loved Freddie, sometimes you needed some girl company.

You and Mason managed to take yourselves off away from everyone. Sitting on your own so you could talk quietly and get ready for the flight you knew Mason was a bit nervous for but the sudden sound of a boy shouting made the two of you snap your heads up. Mason's face turning sour instantly as the boy made his rounds to say hello to a few of the guys and it was then you noticed Mason shuffling uncomfortably in his seat.

‘I didn’t know he was coming’

‘Who’s that?’ You asked. Not having seen him around before so you presumed he was from the London office but you were curious as to why Mason was reacting like this.

‘Thats Carl, he’s worked with Woody on a few things’

‘Do you know him well?’

‘Use to’ he shrugged but you didn’t have a chance to reply as Carl made his way over to the pair of you. His eyes flashing to Mason’s hand that was clasped around yours before he looked right at you and the sly smirk he sent your way made your skin crawl.

‘Mason, long time no see man. How’s things’ he asked. Mason jumping up so they could pat each other on the back but you could tell from Masons posture he didn’t want to be near him that much.

‘Good mate, you?’

‘Yeah really good thanks’ he nodded and before you knew it he was motioning towards you. ‘Who’s this pretty little thing?’

‘I’m y/n’ you told him after a quick roll of your eyes. Not wanting to cause a scene and call him out for his stupid comment but you could see his face change as soon as you told him your name. An impressed expression overtaking his features and you wondered why.

‘Ah y/n I’ve seen some of your stuff floating around. You’re pretty good’

‘Oh… oh thank you’ you told him. A sense of pride filling you at the fact people were not starting to see your work and you returned his bright smile.

‘Yeah even managed to make this one look good’ he laughed, motioning over to Mason. ‘I’ve tried a few times I know how hard it is’ he teased. Feeling Mason stiffening besides you as Carl tried to make a joke at his expense but you wouldn’t let that happen on your watch.

‘Oh really? I thought it was really easy’ you shrugged. Turning back to Mason who was giving you a shy smile and you could tell he was thankful for you sticking up for him a bit. ‘I won’t be a sec, I'm going to the loo’ you told him. Kissing his cheek quickly before standing up and you left without giving Carl and other glance.

‘Finally got yourself some then huh?’ Carl laughed and Mason could feel his blood boiling at the way he was speaking about you. Not wanting to fully divulge and tell him exactly what the pair of you were as he knew what he was like so he just shrugged his shoulders and tried to act unbothered by him.

‘It's not like that’

‘Oh she’s not yours then? So I don’t mind if I have a crack?’

‘Carl, it’s so good to see you’ Woody interrupted and Mason was thankful he’d stepped in. Knowing Mason would have probably exploded if he hadn’t have. It was one thing Carl making jibes about him but a whole other issue when he was speaking about you and he realised at that moment this was about to be a long trip.

‘Gates ready!’ Freddie called and with one final wink at Mason, Carl was walking off to find the others leaving him standing there to stew. Wondering if he even wanted to go away with everyone now but once he saw you walking back towards him with that beautiful smile on your face he realised you were his reason to stay.

‘Mase, you ready?’ You asked, your voice laced with concern as you could see something had changed with him.

‘Yeah I’ll meet you there’

‘It’s okay I’ll wait with you’ you smiled, trying to get him to smile at you but once you realised he wouldn’t you placed your hand on his arm to get him to look at you. ‘Are you alright?’

‘I’m fine’ he breathed, his eyes scanning the room to see if anyone from your group was left and once he was satisfied it was just the two of you he pulled you in for a tight hug. ‘I know we said we’d keep things on the down low a bit but I just need a quick cuddle‘

‘Oh Mase’ you whispered, feeling the way he clung to you so tightly a little concerning and the thought of this being the last proper hug you might share for a while upset you and even though it was you who set the boundaries in the first place you were ready to tear them up for him. ‘I know it was my choice but we don’t have to keep things on the down low’

‘No?’

‘Not if you don’t want to. I don't think I’ll be able to handle it and i'm pretty sure everyone knows what’s going on’ you giggled but you felt him relax as you spoke.

‘Well most people do at least’ he whispered but he didn’t have a chance to elaborate as Freddie was back calling you both to hurry up so you grabbed your bags and made your way to the queue to board. Reaching out to hold Mason's pinkie with your own and the smile he sent you made your tummy flip.

The flight was fine but you didn’t arrive at your hotel until late afternoon and once you were unpacked you made the short trip down the corridor to meet Mason. Most if you had decided to do your own thing for dinner tonight however Mason had invited you along to dinner with him, Woody and his girlfriend Kaz so you could get to know each other a bit and you were grateful to be able to see him in act so confidently around his friends and show you this new side of him.

Ever the gentleman, Mason walked you to your room that night and after a pretty heavy kiss by the door you bid each other goodnight. Mason letting you know he’d message you when he woke up so you could see when you wanted to head to the pool and as soon as your head hit the pillow you were out like a light.

‘Hey gorgeous’ he smiled, opening the door and popping a kiss on your cheek but you were quick to reach up and kiss him properly, feeling him chuckle onto your lips and it was all worth it for the shy smile he gave you when you pulled apart.

‘Morning Mase’

‘I’ve booked us into the hotel restaurant, no idea what the others are doing’ he shrugged as he shut his door but you just took his hand and let him lead you away.

‘How did you do that? I tried and they were full’

‘I have my ways’ he winked. Subtly letting you know he could probably get you anything you wanted but you loved the way he wasn’t flashy with it.

The food in the hotel was better than you had expected and when the pair of you were done, you made your way out to the pool. Thankfully only Freddie and Lex were out there and as you walked into his eyeline, Freddie waved you over and patted the double sun lounger next to him.

‘Morning love birds, I saved you a spot’

‘There’s no one else out here’ you laughed, dropping your bag on the seat and looking around but it was still only around 10am and most of the loungers were empty.

‘Where have you been?’

‘Breakfast’

‘What here?’ Freddie asked, his eyebrows shooting up as you nodded. ‘They said they were fully booked’

‘Apparently they make room for you if your names Mason Mount’ you joked, looking behind to see him standing there awkwardly on the other side of the lounger as if he didn’t want to presume you’d sit next to him but after a subtle nod of your head his shoulders relaxed.

You didn’t waste anymore time, wanting to get undressed to soak up the sun so you quickly slipped yourself out of your dress and packed it away before grabbing your book and when your eyes flashed over to Mason you felt like you might have to pick his jaw up off the floor.

Mason had never seen you in so little before, and you’d worn this bikini on purpose as you knew it accentuated all your best bits, and it was red, but you had no idea it would have garnered this reaction from him. Even from behind his sunglasses you could see his eyes were all over you as his tongue practically fell from his mouth so you rounded the lounger to stand in front of him but only when you touched his shoulders did he reach out to touch you.

Your knees buckled as soon as his fingertips touched the back of your thighs but thankfully he was able to steer you onto his lap and as you sat on his leg he moved his hands to your waist. Your skin tingling in their wake as he touched parts of you he’d never seen before and even though Mason could be shy and reserved about his feelings, this was the best indication you’d ever had that he found you attractive.

He was looking at you through his glasses but you missed his pretty brown eyes so you carefully pushed them up so you could see them again. Watching as the sun reflected in them so they looked like deep pots of honey and the creases around his eyes made your heart thump as he smiled at you. He was looking at you so softly and you couldn't help but reach down to kiss him as it was only Freddie and Lex out here and you knew they didn’t care and probably were even looking.

‘You’re so fucking hot’ he breathed against your lips and his words excited you as he squeezed your sides. His potty mouth making you giggle but you were glad you had saved yourself from showing him your body until now just for this reaction. ‘You’re making this impossible for me’

‘Sorry Mase’ you giggled feeling him slip his thumb under the waistband of your bottoms so he could hold your bum and even though he was pushing it you let him. ‘I wore red just for you’

‘I bet you did’ he grinned, pulling you back in for a kiss that made you want to abandon all your morals and take him back to your room, but you held strong. Pulling away gently even though you didn’t want to.

‘Speaking of hot, it’s boiling out here. Did you make sure to put sunscreen on?’ You asked. Slightly trying to distract the pair of you from a heated make out session and Mason sent you a smug smile as he realised what you were doing.

‘I did, just not on my back my arms don’t reach’ he joked, giggles falling from both your lips at the thought of him trying to do it.

‘Come on then I’ll help you you smiled. Kissing him once before before getting up off his lap and just as you’d got your sun cream from your bag he’d whipped his shirt off.

There were pictures of Mason's body online that you’d seen recently and you thought he might be in pretty good shape but it was nothing compared to the actual thing. His chest and tummy covered with a light smattering of hair that was driving you insane but his defined abs and strong arms were more sexy to you than anything else until he turned around to flash you his back dimples.

You took your time rubbing his cream in for him but it was mainly just an excuse to touch him. Planning a kiss in between his shoulder blades when you realised it had been long enough before the pair of you flopped back onto the lounger. Pinkies intertwined once more as you soaked up the sun but it was around 45 minutes later when you realised you needed to cool off

‘Do you fancy going for a swim?’ You asked him, watching his brows raise above his galssss questioningly but he was quick to take them off and help you up so you could get in together. You taking the safe option and walking over to the steps but just as you turned to get you watched Mason dive bomb in.

‘That's colder than I thought it would be’ he chuckled after he came up for air, wading his way over to help you in fully but after a few moments of swimming you’d had enough and wanted him to carry you.

He wasn’t shocked when you came over and placed your hands on his shoulders but you knew he was unsure as to where to put his hands when you wrapped your legs around his waist.

‘Hold my waist’ you giggled as you knew he needed a little direction. ‘Are you blushing Mr Mount?’

‘Never’ he chuckled, pulling you impossibly closer and he tucked his head into your neck. Inhaling deeply before looking back at you and you knew what he was about to ask before he did it.

‘Can I kiss you?’

‘You don’t have to ask’

‘I’m just checking’ he laughed. Bumping his nose against yours before he kissed you softly and you knew he was about to pull away quicker than you wanted him to so you cupped the back of his head and deepened it before he got a chance.

You stayed in the pool longer than you’d first intended to. Mason requesting that you race him a few times before he popped you on his back and you used to opportunity to cover his cheeks in kisses until he swung you back round to his front so you could hold each other again.

You were so calm and tranquil in Masons arms that the sound of someone shouting made you jump. You could feel Mason had tensed too and when you both looked over to the source of the noise Mason didn’t relax at all. If anything he clung to you tighter as Carl and his little gaggle of girls made their way over to sit with Freddie and it was like Mason's demeanour switched before your eyes.

‘You okay?’ You whispered, watching him shrink into himself a little but with a quick kiss to his lips he was nodding gently. ‘Shall we get out and get dry?’

You were both soon out. Sitting back next to Freddie but the opposite side of Carl and you noticed how even after he was dry he still had his towel around his shoulders. You didn’t say anything at first but after you’d reapplied your sunscreen you figured he might want some more too however he was still wrapped up.

‘You want me to oil you up?’ You joked, waving the suncream in his face and even though he laughed he shook his head at you.

‘No thanks, I’ll probably put my shirt on again in a sec’

‘What? Why?’ You asked but he didn’t answer so you took it upon yourself to crawl over into his lap and when his hand squeezed your thigh you sent him a cheeky smile.

‘You know for someone who wanted to keep things on the down low you’re very touchy’

‘Well you should stop being so irresistible then’ you joked watching his face flush. ‘You can put your top back on if you want but has something happened? You were fine before?’

‘It’s nothing, I’m just being silly’

‘No it’s okay. I’m just thinking about you, you know? The last thing you want is a T-shirt tan’ you winked and the small laugh that fell from his lips made you feel accomplished.

‘Somethings telling me that’s not the only reason’

‘I mean yeah I’ve got eyes Mase’ you chuckled, watching him try to hold back a smirk and from the way his eyes dropped to your lips you knew he wanted to kiss you.

His kisses were becoming more than addictive. Slow and sweet as he stroked his tongue against yours but it was the feeling of his thumbs brushing against your back that was making you shiver. Cupping his jaw so he couldn’t pull away from you but the loud and obnoxious laughs of Carl and the girls were going through you like nails on a chalkboard.

‘Would you like an ice-cream?’ You asked him as you pulled away, his face turning into one of confused amusement before he let out a little laugh.

‘It’s 11:30’

‘Exactly, we need to start early to get in as many as we can’ you told him. ‘Come on we can go for a walk or something after I just need some peace’ you smiled at him, knowing he needed the same so you quickly popped on a coverup as he chucked his shirt back on before taking his hand and leading him away from everyone else.

You knew the hotel had a rooftop bar and after some careful searching you managed to find it. Thankfully it was quiet up there and after grabbing you both an ice cream you took a seat next to him and placed your hand on his thigh.

‘The view up here is crazy’ you commented, looking out over the hotel grounds and to the beach but little did you know Mason had something else in his eyeline.

‘Yeah not too bad from here either’ he said softly, looking back at you with literal heart eyes and when you winked back at him he just laughed.

‘Cheeky’ you commented, nudging your shoulder with his. ‘We can stay away from everyone else today if you’d like’

‘No don’t be silly. I mean I love it when it’s just us but you’re meant to be here with them’

‘I’ve got the two days with them solidly Mase, I want to be with you’

‘C’mere then’ he whispered. Pulling you further into his side before resting his head on top of yours as you nuzzled into his neck. His scent overtaking your senses but all you could do was squeeze him harder until he was laughing. ‘I still can’t believe what you’re wearing’

You’d never seen him look at you like this before. It wasn’t that you didn’t think he was attracted to you at all, he always called you gorgeous and you knew you made him a bit nervous but you’d never seen him look at you like he wanted to rip your clothes off and have you right then and there like he was now. His hands massaging over your thighs as he kissed your jaw and you could feel your tummy flipping with desire.

You’d wanted him for a while, not able to get the image of him having his way with you out of your head for a week or two now but you’d still made him wait. Almost like it was a test to see how long you could give him before he went crazy but at this point it was you that had lost it. Your kisses had become messier and deeper as you got lost in each other and you knew it was only a matter of time you gave him the green light.

You kept it pg for the rest of the day though. Joining the others for lunch before you were back out by the pool and you watched Mason relax as he spent some time with Woody and Freddie until he came back to you for a nap. His head resting on you chest as your fingers brushed though his hair and you felt yourself falling for him even more with every passing second.

‘Come stay in my room tonight?’ He asked after you’d all been to dinner that evening. The pair of you not wanting to part and when you raised your eyebrow at him cheekily his face flushed as he giggled. ‘Not like that. I’m just not ready to let you go yet. I thought I could get us another drink and we could hang out? I know we’ve not slept in the same bed before or whatever and we don't have to if you’re uncomfortable but-

You cut him off with a kiss. Feeling him relax under your fingertips as he smiled and when you pulled away you knew he was blushing even deeper.

‘I’ll be in soon, okay? Why don’t you get us some snacks and find a movie for us’

‘Okay’ he whispered ‘Bring your stuff for tomorrow too, you can get ready in here’

‘Wow, you’re bossy when you wanna be huh?’ you chuckled. ‘Who knew you could ask for what you want sometimes?’ You smiled and with a quick kiss you were running back to your room to get everything you needed for your first little sleepover with him.

y/n recently added to their stories

Mason treated you to a late breakfast again the next morning before you met everyone else at the entrance just before lunch. Your pinky firmly wrapped around his as you approached the others and you noticed Freddie’s eyes snap down to look at them before they were on you. Sending you a smile and a cheeky wink like he was happy for you and even though you rolled your eyes at him you couldn’t deny you were pretty happy yourself.

You’d enjoyed the night before more than any other time you could imagine. Spending the whole night in Mason's arms as you spoke and kissed until you eventually fell asleep. You had wondered in the back of your head if last night could have been the night but you both seemed content with leaving it for now however you knew it would be soon.

Whilst you stood and reminisced in your own head as you waited for the last few people, Mason on the other hand had his eyes on someone else. Watching the way Carl drunk you in before his eyes landed on your conjoined fingers and the expression that took over his face was one that Mason had seen many times before. Almost watching Carl plot his evil scheme was making Mason uncomfortable to the point he started to pull away from you but you just assumed he wanted to hold your hand properly so you threaded your fingers through his and pulled him along into the awaiting taxi.

You’d never been on a boat like this and with there being so many of you it was hard to find a quiet spot. Mason seemed to know his way around these things though and took you up to the top deck where there was a separate space at the front for the two of you to lay down and get comfy.

You could hear everyone else downstairs rushing about and being silly but you were content with laying next to Mason. Your head right next to his as you spoke about the night before until you both got a bit sleepy and drifted off.

You heard the jet skis start up before you heard the footsteps running up to the top deck. Freddie’s face appearing from below but clearly only you had the energy to sit up and speak to him.

‘Not interrupting, am I kid?’ He asked quietly.

‘No, he’s just a bit tired’

‘Oh yeah, you worn him out?’ he laughed. Eyebrows wiggling suggestively but you just laughed as you hid your face in embarrassment.

‘Shut up Freddie’ you huffed, crossing your arms in mock anger but he saw right through you. ‘What do you want?

‘Jet skis are ready, you wanted a go right?’

‘Well yeah but-‘

‘Mason!’

‘Freddie, will you piss off’ you scalded. Look down to see Mason stirring awake as Freddie’s retreated back down the ladder and when you brushed the hair from his eyes he gave you a thankful but sleepy smile. ‘Sorry Mase, I told him not to wake you’

‘It’s alright, beautiful. Is everything okay?’

‘Yeah, the jet skis are ready but if you don’t want to do it, it’s fine’ you told him. Leaning onto your side so you could lay yourself next to him whilst he slunk his arm under your body to hold you closer with his hand on your waist.

‘I best not, I’ll get killed if I get another injury but you go yeah? I’ll watch you’

‘Are you sure?

‘Of course. Or maybe I’ll be asleep who knows’ he winked. ‘Go on, go have fun’ he whispered, pecking your lips as he squeezed your bum gently. Winking at you as you looked at him with a shocked face as it was the first time he’d been handsy with you without you instigating something but you just kissed him forcefully as you crawled over his body and left him to relax.

By the time you’d made it down and popped your life vest on, there were only a few people left. Woody and Kaz had just set off as Lex hopped on the back of Freddie’s meaning you were left with only one option.

Carl was smiling at you as he waved you over to the one he was standing by before hopping aboard and patting the back of the seat for you to sit on. ‘Your chariot awaits. I hope you don’t mind but we’ve got to share’ he laughed.

‘Oh no that’s fine’ you smiled. Too excited to get out onto the water to worry about who you were with and whilst Mason was a bit distant with Carl you didn’t exactly have a reason to not go with him. Yes he’d been loud with the girls yesterday and there was definitely something you couldn’t put your finger on about him that you weren’t 100% comfortable with but the idea of getting to go in a jet ski was the main thought in your brain right now.

‘Just tell me if I’m going too fast, okay?’ He told you. Letting you get comfortable behind him as you wrapped your arms around his waist like Freddie had shown you and once you were comfortable enough he set off.

Carl played it pretty safe and didn’t go too fast but it was fast enough for you. Having to grip o to him tightly as he tried out some spins and tricks and before you knew it he’d slyly driven you far away from the boat and everyone else.

‘So you and Mason huh?’ He asked as he slowed down. Bringing the jet ski to almost a complete stop before he was driving you around in random patterns to make it look like you were going somewhere when you weren’t.

‘What about me and Mason?’ You asked. Wondering why he was bringing Mason up whilst you were basically stranded in the sea and an uncomfortable feeling made its way up your spine.

‘You tell me. He’s keeping things under wraps’ he shrugged and you felt the sense of unease spread over you further. ‘Look, all l I know is that if you were mine I would be all over you. He looks like he barely wants to hold you hand sometimes’

‘Well I’m not yours so it doesn’t matter does it’ you hit back. Not liking how he was talking to you and the fact he seemed to be taking you further away from everyone made you want to scream in fear.

‘Oh she’s a feisty one’

‘No I just like to keep my business my business as does Mason’ you told him firmly. Wishing you could go back in time so you would have never gotten on this god forsaken thing in the first place and. ‘Can you take me back now please I want to get off

‘Oh don’t be like that’

‘I won’t ask again’ you told him firmly. Trying to hide the fear in your voice but thankfully he got the hint and made his way back to the boat where you hopped off as soon as you could before making your way back to Mason. Hearing Carl thankfully speed away leaving the pair of you alone.

Mason wasn't napping where you'd left him, in fact he was nowhere to be seen but as you made your way to the back of the boat you could see him leaning up against the side with a pensive look on his face.

You didn't know if you wanted to join him as he looked so in his own head but you fought against it and carefully made your way over. Needing his comfort after the ordeal Carl had just put you through but Mason looked as though he was in a whole other world.

'Mase? What you doing over here?' You asked. Watching him jump slightly as he realised you were there before his eyes were on the floor.

'I was feeling a bit sea sick' he told you quietly and you noticed how he didn’t really want to look at you.

'So you thought it was best to hang over the edge and make it worse' you smiled but he didn't smile back. Just shrugged his shoulders gently as he twiddled with his fingers.

'Sorry'

'It's alright, don't be sorry' you smiled. Pulling him into a hug and even though he was hugging you back you knew something was off. You chalked it down to him not feeling well and when you pulled back you could see in his eyes that something wasn't right. 'Shall I get you a bottle of water and we can sit somewhere quiet’

'No it's okay, I don't wanna pull you away from everyone’

'Mase? You know l'd pick you over anyone here' you told him. Pulling back and cupping his jaw so he'd look at you and when he sent you a smile your heart settled just a tiny bit.

'Even Freddie?'

'Especially Freddie’ you winked. 'Come on, I'll look after you. They're all still out on the jet skis so it's just you and me anyway. Can't get rid of me even if you want to’

‘Thank you’

‘Don’t be, it’s my job to look after my man’ you joked. His eyes lighting up at the way you’d referred to him as such. ‘Shall we go back up? Or do you wanna stay down here?

‘We can go up’ he whispered. Pulling you into a soft kiss that made your knees weak before leading you back up.

When everyone else came back, Woody and Kaz joined you upstairs. Mason sitting up and patting the space in front of him so you’d sit with your back to his chest and when he lazily slung his arm around your waist you blushed as he began to trace patterns on your warm skin.

You knew you were staying on the boast for most of the day so you remembered to take things to entertain yourself and you’d noticed Mason had perked up a little bit. Watching him jump off the edge with Freddie as you sat with the girls and when the option came to leave with some of the others or stay for a bit longer you both chose to stay. Thankfully it was just Freddie, Lex, Woody and Kaz left with you as Carl left with the others and when the sun began to set you made sure to take Mason back upstairs so you could watch it together. Laying on his body had his hands roamed yours and as soon as the sun began to hug the sea he brought you In for a heart stopping kiss.

The day had been perfect, his hand in yours and he sat next to you on the way back to the hotel and your heart thumped at how he was playing with your fingers. His cheek resting on the top of your head and it was almost a struggle to stay awake with how warm and safe you felt with him.

As much as you didn’t like it, you both decided you should sleep in your own beds tonight. Both of you having early mornings and you knew if you woke up next to him you wouldn’t want to go anywhere so Mason walked you to your door and left you with a kiss and the promise of seeing you tomorrow evening.

y/n recently added to their stories

Mason was up and out at the crack of dawn but you were reading over his good morning text in the lobby with a smile before you felt someone looming over you.

‘Listen, I’m not sure what Masons said about me’

‘He hasn’t said anything about you’ you told Carl and to be fair to Mason he really hadn’t. Mason did his talking with his eyes about Carl and you could sense there was something there but hadn’t come out and told you exactly what the problem was.

‘Oh… I just feel like we got off on the wrong foot. I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable yesterday on the jet ski, I didn’t mean to. Mason and I like to tease each other a bit but I should have left you out of it’ he explained and whilst you appreciated his apology you still felt like something wasn’t right.

Unfortunately you were stuck with him for today, the group of you practically had been halved since it was just your work people and there was no way of getting away from him so you decided you put yesterday behind you for the sake of everyone else and try and make it a comfortable day.

‘Well thank you, I appreciate that. I guess we can start over again and be civil at least today’ you nodded at him and he sent you an appreciative smile that made you feel better about what you were doing.

You sat next to Carl in the cab and he was asking you lots of questions about your work. Ever since Masons shoot the offers to join people and help out with big projects had been rolling in like no tomorrow and you’d even managed to book a few private fittings to dress some actors for an awards ceremony in a few weeks. You hadn’t felt this positive about work in months and with Carl bigging you up like he was it was easy to get swept up in him.

The event was busier than you were expecting so you stuck with Woody and Freddie however that meant Carl was now also with you and wherever he was you knew Lindsay and Louise weren’t too far behind.

‘Right the agency wants some pictures for socials so just act natural okay?’ Freddie announced, whipping his phone out as you walked around the various stalls and exhibitions. Snapping your picture whenever he could however Carl was always jumping in to be involved and when you sat down for the first runway show he was right there next to you.

Carl wanting to be your bestie aside, you’d had an amazing day and met so many lovely people. You felt inspired at every corner you turned and you couldn't wait to see Mason and tell him all about it. It was nuts how much you missed him even with so much going on and the fact you couldn’t even get your phone out to send him a quick text to see how he was frustrating you more than anything.

TheFashionPeople

location : Malta

liked by y/n, Freddie_Smith, Carl9834 and others

TheFashionPeople A group of our extremely talented stylists and personal shoppers have been in Malta at the New In Clothing 2024 event. Make sure to follow us to keep up to date with everything they get up to!

A hand on your waist snapped you out of your thoughts and you recoiled away from Carl just like you’d been doing for the last few hours. You were sure why but he’d suddenly got it in his head that he was free to put his hands on you and whilst it started out as just gentle touches on your shoulder or elbow it had progressed quickly holding your waist or trying to pull you in for a cuddle.

‘Can you not, please Carl. I don’t like being touched’

‘What? I’m just trying to be nice’

‘Well that’s not how I’m seeing it. I would appreciate it if you kept your hands to yourself please’ you told him sternly before marching off to find Freddie. Wishing you would have just told him to piss off this morning rather than trying to be friendly for everyone else’s sake.

You were back in the hotel by the time you managed to get five minutes' peace. Knowing you had to go to dinner soon but you wanted to hopefully speak to Mason however you were a little disappointed that he hadn’t messaged you at all today. You figured he must have been busy like you so you sent him a quick message before jumping in the shower.

You were all dressed up and ready to head to dinner but Mason still hadn’t got back to you so you made a plan to swing by his room before you left. He didn’t answer when you knocked on the door though and you figured he must still be out so you went to dinner alone and tried to ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of your tummy.

‘Have you heard from Mason?’ You asked Woody. Wanting to make sure someone had spoken to him as you were beginning to panic that he’d vanished off the face of the earth but the Woody nodded you didn’t know if you felt happy or sad about it.

‘Yeah he messaged me about half an hour ago’ he told you. ‘He’s not been back long so maybe be fell asleep?’

‘Oh okay’ you smiled. Confused as to why he was seemingly ignoring for hours on end but you knew he loved a nap so maybe that was the reason.

‘Is everything alright?’ Woody asked sympathetically but you didn’t want to air everything out in front of everyone so you kept quiet whilst still telling the truth.

‘Yeah fine’ you smiled. Hoping to convince him nothing was wrong but you weren’t sure if he bought it. ‘I just wanted to check he was okay, I haven’t heard from him in a bit’

‘You know what he’s like, dead to the world as soon as his head touches the pillow’’ he reassured you and you sent him a kind smile and a nod in hopes that was enough. Watching him quickly send a message to someone and no more than two minutes later did your phone buzz in your hand.

Your heart sunk further into your tummy at his message. You didn’t know if you were being extra sensitive or he was being incredibly short with you but his message didn’t feel as warm as they usually did and now you felt silly for telling him you missed him without him saying it back.

‘Right, you coming for drinks kid?’ Freddie asked but you just shook your head as you gathered your things together.

‘No I think I’ll just head back to my room’ you gulped. Watching Freddie’s face drop before he looked at you to ask if something was wrong but you just sent him a smile. ‘Its been a long day and I wanna be fresh for tomorrow’

‘You sure?’

‘Positive’ you nodded giving everyone a quick goodbye before hightailing back to your room. Wondering what you should send Mason as a response but in the end you figured you’d play it as cool as possible and send him something you normally would to see how he reacted.

You didn’t understand why he was being so hot and cold with you constantly this trip and you definitely didn’t understand what you could have done to make him be this cold with you.

Sleep didn’t come easy that night as you laid awake and thought about what had happened on the trip so far to make him be like this. Clearly there was some sort of issue with Carl but if he didn’t explain what it was then how were you supposed to help him? And everything seemed fine the previous night before you went to bed so what could you have done in a day that you hadn’t seen him for him to be so distant?

You knew you had to speak to him tomorrow and soon enough the tiredness wore you out enough so you could fall asleep but the next you decided to test him and not send him a good morning text when you woke up. You knew it may have been a little petty but you wanted him to come to you first, almost to prove that he still liked you but you were almost halfway through the morning and it was still radio silence. Thankfully Carl had kept his distance today but you knew he kept looking at you in hopes you’d give him some attention.

The final show was was a lot, and being sat far away from Carl helped you concentrate a bit more but Mason was still on your mind. Why was be being so distant? Hopefully you’d get to speak to him later today and you were both excited and terrified about seeing him. Thankfully Freddie had managed to take your mind off of things and invited you backstage after the show with Woody as he knew one of the models and you found it fascinating getting to watch them all at work

‘Thank you for bringing me here, Freddie. I’ve had the best time’

‘Don’t be silly, I knew you’d love it. And when we get back I’ve got loads for us to work on’ he smiled. Wrapping and arm around your shoulder as you made your way back to the hotel and even though things with Mason seemed confusing and weird you knew everything you’d been working towards was finally happening for you and you couldn’t wait to get to work.

You were sitting on your own away from everyone at the pool that afternoon when Mason turned up. You hadn’t meant to be but you were sat with Woody and Kaz and they had just hopped in the water and you thought Mason would be straight over to see you since it had been so long but again you were left disappointed.

He’d clearly been back to his room to shower and change but he didn’t make his way over to see you first. Watching him drop his things on the lounger on the opposite side of the pool from you before talking to Woody for a bit as he sat on the edge but he was getting in the pool soon enough. Your heart sinking at the way he’d completely blanked you since coming out here and you wondered if you’d missed something. Eventually turning onto your side away from everyone to not show them how upset you were as you couldn't understand his behaviour and why he hadn’t come over to say hello to you first.

You’d been away from him for just over a day and a half and all you wanted was to be next to him again so the fact he’d basically ignored you when this was your first chance to speak made your head spin. Were you being too much for him? Is that why he was pulling away from you? Or were you not giving him what he wanted quickly enough and he was getting bored of waiting for you? Did he not miss you like you’d missed him?

You refused to cry but you knew your eyes felt heavy and watery. Shutting them and pretending to be asleep even though you could hear him giggling close by, it was soon replaced by the sounds of hushed whispers and soon enough you could hear the sound of someone getting out of the pool and making their way over to you.

You didn’t react to him, hearing him pick a towel up to dry his hair before he took a tentative seat next to you and when you didn’t move you felt him lay next to you but still kept his distance so you didn't touch at all. Your heart hammering as you became hyper aware of all his movements but you kept your eyes shut no matter how hard it was becoming.

You could feel him fiddling with the dangly bits on your bikini before his fingers grazed your thigh slightly and you froze. He didn’t stop though, trailing his fingers up and over your hip to your waist so he could pull you into his body and when your skin touched his you opened your eyes carefully.

‘Hey’ he whispered. The weight of the world still heavy in his eyes but you knew he was trying to cover it up with the soft smile he was sending you. ‘Sorry, I didn’t want to get you wet’ he whispered, stroking your back gently and you knew there was something still off about him even though he was keeping it well hidden behind the brick wall he’d been building for the last few days. At least he was talking to you now though you thought. ‘You okay?’

‘Just tired’ you nodded. Not wanting to give too much away and let him know how upset you were but every touch of his skin on yours made you ache.

‘Go back to sleep, I’ll stay with you’

You wanted to tell him you weren’t really tired and that you didn’t want to sleep because you missed him and wanted to talk but the words were stuck in your throat. Not even sure if you were allowed to shuffle closer to him but at least he was finally next to you and when he gave in to pull you into his chest your eyes began to sting.

There was so much you wanted to say to him, but you held your tongue. Taking what he was giving you at the moment and soon enough your missed sleep from the night before caught up to you and you fell asleep to the feel of him pressing a gentle kiss to your temple.

Waking up still in Mason's arms was a nice feeling even if you did still feel heavy with emotion and when you both sat up he made no attempt to hold you in any way again until your leg brushed his and placed his hand in your lap palm up. Silently asking you to hold it and as soon as your fingers were linked you rested your head on his shoulder.

‘Are you coming to dinner with everyone tonight?’ You asked. Trying to think of anything to say to get him talking as he was keeping quiet and you hated the awkward silence.

‘I think so’ he told you. ‘Is that okay?’

‘Of course it is’ you nodded, looking up at his face and as much as you wanted to stay with him and get him to talk but you knew the time was getting on. ‘I should go get ready actually. I need to wash my hair and shower’

‘Okay, shall I meet you there then?’ He asked and your heart dropped once more. Why didn’t he want to meet you before? To turn up with you like you’d done earlier in the week? It was only small but it was like he didn’t want to be seen with you and you had no idea what was going on in that little head of his. Right here by the pool in front of everyone wasn’t exactly the best place to ask though so you just sent him a small nod before gathering up your things and leaving.

‘Trouble in paradise?’ You heard from behind you as you made your way to the door and you didn’t even need to turn to face them to know who it was. You’d been avoiding him like the plague since you told him off for touching you yesterday and you’d been waiting for him to start widning you up again.

‘Fuck off, Carl’

‘Ohhhh, someone’s touchy. I don’t know why you’re bothering with him, I can see he’s not interested from a mile away. Why are you wasting your time you’ve got someone right here ready to give you what you want’

‘Cause I don’t fucking want you!’ you snapped. Turning to face him suddenly and you knew you’d caught him off guard. ‘Ever think of that?’

‘Of course you do, everyone does’ he told you matter of factly, looking at you dumbfounded at the fact you might not want him but you didn’t want to waste another second of your life in his presence.

‘Oh bore off, I’m done talking to you’ you huffed. Turning in the corridor and making you way to your room and thankfully he didn’t follow you.

All you could think about was Mason as you showered and dried your hair. Was he not interested anymore? Or were you being sensitive as Carl just made everything seem 10x worse.

You wanted to talk to him before dinner so you could get to the crux of the issue, knowing that if you left things any longer than needed it could take a turn and it wasnt like he was mad at you. He just seemed sad almost, and distant and since you were ready earlier than planned you wondered if it was worth a shot to go and find him.

You’d saved this dress specifically for tonight. Your last big dinner out with everyone and you wanted to look the part and hopefully catch Mason's eye a bit. Even if that did feel like an impossible task right now.

You needed an excuse to talk to him and this seemed the perfect one. Not being able to quite get the zipper done up without some help so you did it enough to be able to leave your room and not flash anyone before making your way down the hall to his door.

As you didn’t fancy standing in the middle of the corridor half dressed you knocked rather quickly in hopes he would come and answer faster and soon enough he opened up with a small but shocked smile on his face.

‘Hey Mase, sorry I’m having a bit of trouble with my dress. I don't suppose you could zip me up?’ You asked and after he quickly nodded you in, you made your way into his room.

‘Thank you’ you smiled. Standing in front of his big mirror so he could zip you up and the feeling of his hand on your waist as his knuckles brushed your skin made your knees weak. Watching him in the mirror in front of you as he concentrated made your heart race and once he was done and you caught his eye in the mirror you knew you needed to step it up a notch.

You figured you’d act as normal as possible with him, turning in his hold to face him and when you placed a quick peck on his lips you noticed again he didn’t deepen it or even return it but just looked to the floor blankly.

‘Mase, what’s wrong?’ You sighed. Pulling out of his grasp as his hands fell to his sides with a thud and you knew your question had shocked him. His eyes going wide as his face paled but you were determined to not let him brush this off as nothing.

‘What do you mean?’

‘You’ve barely spoken to me for the last few days, you haven’t kissed me. Have I done something wrong?’ You asked and even though you didn’t mean for it to, your voice sounded teary and upset. This seemed to be enough to snap Mason out of his funk a little bit as he looked at you guiltily before gently pulling you back into his arms.

‘No, you haven’t done anything I promise’ he whispered. Stroking your back with his thumbs like he always did and you felt yourself settle in a way you hadn’t for days. It was like your Mason was back as he touched you like normal so you placed your hands on his chest before he pulled you closer.

‘What is it then? Do you not like me anymore?’ You questioned but his face dropped even further. Clearly it hitting him how upset you were by his mood over the last few days.

‘Hey, no. Don’t say that, I adore you’ he told you sincerely, cupping your jaw so you’d look at him but it didn’t explain why he’d been off with you. ‘I’m just a bit embarrassed

‘Embarrassed? What of me?’

‘No not you’ he laughed, looking at you with a heartfelt smile before his face dropped again. ‘Of me. I just got into my own head about something and I feel a little ridiculous’

‘Tell me’ you whispered, trying to reassure him that whatever it is things would be fine but you had no idea what it was he could be embarrassed of. ‘What did I tell you that night, huh? I’m big on communication. So just tell me and we can figure it out’

You could tell Mason wanted to tell you. Watching him inhaling a deep breath before letting it out shakily. Swallowing down a nervous gulp as he placed both hands back on your waist and you knew he was about to hit you with it.

‘Do you like him?’

‘Like who?’ You questioned, unsure of what he meant and the name that fell from his lips made no sense to you at all.

‘Carl’

‘What? Where did you get that idea?’ You laughed but you realised it wasn't a laughing matter for him but a genuine concern.

‘Ive seen the way he looks at you and he was making you laugh in all those pictures your company posted on instagram like he was next you in every bloody one and then you were on that jet ski together before and I just…’

‘Mase’ you smiled. Moving your hands to around his neck before bumping your nose against his to get him to look at you. ‘Are you jealous?’

‘What? I’m not jealous’ he scoffed, a small smile on his lips as he realised he probably sounded a bit silly but little did you know you only had half the story.

‘Tell your face that then’ you joked but you knew he needed a little reassurance. ‘For the record no, I don’t like him. If you’d have taken any notice of me you would have seen I’ve been nowhere near him when I don’t have to be. He’s an arrogant twat who doesn’t know when to keep his hands to himself’

‘What?’ He snapped, pulling back to look at you with his hands gripping you your waist tighter and you could tell he was angry about what you’d said.

‘It’s fine, I handled it’

‘I should of handled it’ he murmured ‘You’re mine and it’s my job to look after you’

‘Yours huh?’ You smiled, your heart fluttering at the way the words sounded coming out of his mouth.

‘What did he do? Tell me’ he asked, brushing past what he’d said but his nose was turning pink out of embarrassment and even though you wanted to talk more about being his, you also knew you needed to talk about this more.

‘Nothing bad, just kept putting his hands on me you know? Like on my arms and round my waist when we were at the event. We had a chat in the morning and agreed we’d be civil that day but he went way overboard and made me uncomfortable’

‘What do you mean, be civil? I thought you two got on?’

‘Well if you hadn’t been in a strop for a few days you would have seen we don’t’ you smiled. ‘When I went with him on the jet ski it was just because it was the last space left and all he did was piss me off. Kept talking about us after I asked him not to before he tried to tell me how he’d treat me but I told him that I wasn’t interested. I’m still pissed off he ruined my turn. I'd been looking forward to that’ you huffed but now you’d explained yourself you were waiting for Mason to get to the root of the issue. ‘Why don’t you like him? You can tell me’

‘He’s just not my kind of people’ he shrugged, trying to brush past it again, but you gave him a firm look which made him roll his eyes with a sigh. ‘Oh fine, but I’m gonna sound insane. He’s always been Woodys mate but I’ve known who he is and he’s got this weird thing against me. Whatever I have he’s gotta have the same, and that includes girls. We’d go on nights out and I’d be talking to someone and then the next thing I know he’s wormed his way in. Even girls I’d been talking to for weeks he’d find a way to take from me somehow and I just got tired of him always butting in. I haven’t had to think about him in Manchester but seeing I’m him again just put me on edge’

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ You whispered. Stroking his neck with your thumbs as your hands rested on his shoulders and you couldn’t help but feel sad for Mason. You didn’t like that he’d kept this all bottled up inside but now you knew what his problem was you could face it together.

‘I’ve never told anyone’ he shrugged. ‘He’s mates with all my mates and I don’t wanna rock the boat. But also cause it felt a little pathetic. Like it’s a weird thing to explain to people but I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about him getting to you’

‘Mason, you know I’m all about you, don’t you?’ You whispered. Watching his face soften as he gave you a lopsided smile and you knew all he needed right now was a bit of reassurance. ‘You don’t think i'd have kissed you in front of everyone, or slept in your bed the first night if I wasn’t nuts about you. I’m not that kinda girl’

‘I know you’re not’ he laughed. ‘It was never you I wasn’t sure about, it’s him he just brings out the worst in me. And I wasn’t jealous… I was scared’

‘Scared of what? Me leaving you for him?’

‘A little bit’ he whispered and your heart thumped at how vulnerable he was being with you. ‘I feel so dumb even admitting that but he’s done it to me before with girls I was just talking to, so the fact we’re more than that, I knew he’d jump in and do something stupid. It didn’t help that you’re not actually mine’ he muttered under his breath but you just about heard him. Tilting your head quizzically at him as he turned red in the face. ‘You know we’re not like… together officially or whatever. I wanted to ask you while we were away, you know? Make you my girl like I said I would’

‘You wanna be my boyfriend’ you teased, smiling wildly at his confession and his face soon mirrored yours as he smiled back.

‘Oh give over’ he scoffed before his face softened once more. ‘Have I ruined it?’

‘Not at all’

‘So if I were to ask you, like to be mine, would you say yes?’ He asked nervously, his eyes all over your face as he tried to decipher your reaction but you just smiled at him as you hoped he’d know what your answer would be.

‘Why don’t you try right now’

‘Cause I’m scared’ he whispered. Holding you tight to his body as he rested his forehead on yours.

‘What are you scared of?’ You asked, laughing a little bit at how silly he was being but you were just hoping you were coming across not as nervous as you were feeling in this second.

‘You’ he laughed. ‘I really like you and I really think we could be something you know? I like us’

‘I like us too’ you told him. Letting him take a deep breath to calm himself as you knew this was a lot for him. ‘Mase? If you did want to ask, the answer would be yes. I really like you too’

‘I’ll think about it’ he laughed shyly before you lent in to kiss his cheek. ‘You haven’t poked me in the ribs yet so I wasn’t sure’

‘And once again, you're insane’ you told him before you were pulling him into a soft kiss. Feeling him kiss you back properly after so long as your chest fluttered at the way he was holding you. Soft but strong and the way he stroked your skin with his thumbs made you want to melt into a pool of goo on the floor. ‘Come on, you’re not getting out of having dinner with me tonight. I want you sat next to me’ you demanded with a smile.

‘I’m coming I’m coming’ he laughed. Pulling you into one last hug before pulling away from you but holding you at arm's length with your hands still entwined.

‘Hey, y/n?’

‘Yeah?’

‘You look beautiful’ he whispered. His voice sincere as his eyes trailed over you but you were quick to kiss him as you felt your face flush.

‘Thank you Mason’ you whispered against his lips. Feeling happier than you had in days.

Dinner tonight was at the hotel and when the pair of you arrived hand in hand it revived a mixed reaction. Most people paid you no mind but Freddie was sending you a sly smile.

Then there was Carl, sending the pair of you daggers as his gaze shot to your hands. Eyes rolling in the back of his head that you two were together but little did he know he had front row seats to the best show in town.

The only two seats were thankfully as far away from Carl as you could get. Right in between Freddie and woody and after Mason pulled your chair out you gave him a quick kiss right in Carls eyeline.

‘What are you doing’ Mason laughed, cheeks flaming at the way you’d kissed him so publicly but you just sent him a reassuring smile.

‘Claiming you. Buckle up cause this is nothing’ you winked. Kissing his lips softly again before taking your seat and staring down Carl in the process.

You knew he was watching you the whole time. Lindsay and Louise either side of him as he quietly stewed and now you knew how awful he made Mason feel you were ready to make him feel the same.

All notions of ‘on the down low’ were out the window as he draped his arm over the back of your chair. Letting you lean into him and kiss him as much as you wanted whilst you sporadically fed each other. It was driving Carl up the wall and you loved how Mason was playing along and winking at you everytime you went a little overboard.

‘I heard the sunset is gonna be insane tonight’ Freddie mentioned as you were finishing up and with one look at Mason you knew what was coming. ‘How’s about you see if you can get us a table on the rooftop bar’ he winked but Mason just rolled his eyes with a laugh.

‘I kind of have one already booked’ he told him, looking down at you with a wink and you knew he’d booked it for just the two of you. ‘I’ll see if I can get a few people added though’

By the time Mason got back the table had cleared out, just Freddie and Woody with their girls left and Carl had stormed off in a huff much to your delight.

‘Right, I can only get an extra four seats’

‘That’s fine, six of us six seats’ Freddie winked. ‘The others have left so we don’t need to worry about them’

‘You don’t mind do you?’ Mason asked. Placing his hand on your waist before dropping a kiss on your forehead. ‘I wanted it to be just us’

‘I don’t mind’ you whispered. ‘Come on, it’ll be fun’

Thankfully the table they’d arranged for you was in the corner out of the way but right near front so you had an uninterrupted view of the beach and the sunset and as you all sat and chatted away you couldn't have felt happier if you’d tried.

You’d always found it hard to make friends at school and work but you were honestly so thankful for Freddie. Not only for all his help in furthering your career but he’d just been the best person to you and you were so happy you’d got to spend this time away together to build on your friendship.

You’d grown to adore Lex just as much, forming a girly alliance with her and Kaz over the few days you’d been here and you knew that when you were back home the three of you would be hanging out regularly. As well as getting to know Woody a little more and you knew he’d been pushing Mason not to be such a grump with you which you appreciated.

Then there was Mason. The beautiful boy that had slowly taken your heart and ran with it and you couldn’t believe you were finally at a place with him where things were getting serious. You’d stuck to your guns and made him wait until you were ready but the fact he’d waited around and was willing to work for you made your heart thump and as you looked up into his kind eyes you knew you’d managed to find something special with him.

The six of you were laughing and sharing stories for ages. Woody teaching you more about Mason than you ever thought you’d know and you could tell Mason was hating every second of it but as you pouted at him sympathetically and kissed his jaw you knew he was fine if not a little embarrassed.

‘I’m just popping to the loo’ Mason told you, dropping a kiss on your cheek as he left and you used the time he was gone to walk over to the balcony. Taking a moment for yourself to think over the four days you’d had here and how now you and Mason were on the same page you couldn’t wait to see where things may take you.

The sun was almost setting and even though it was one of the most beautiful things you’d ever seen, you knew something was missing. Mason said he’d be right back but you were starting to think he’d got lost somewhere and as you looked around at Freddie and Lex, and Woody and Kaz enjoying the moment together you felt your heart sink that you couldn’t share this with your person.

That was until a hand on your waist made you jump but as you looked up to the culprit your favourite brown eyes were looking back at you sweetly and your heart settled on your chest now he was back.

‘Just me’ he whispered, his arm wrapping around further your waist so your back was to his chest but you knew you wanted more. Turning slightly in his hold to give him a quick kiss that he deepened instantly. A complete 180 to how he was acting with you a few hours before and you smiled at the realisation you were all fine again.

‘I didn’t think you’d make it’

‘I wouldn’t miss this for the world, baby’ he whispered. The pet name making you feel giddy as it was one he’d never used before and now it was your turn to blush at how he was making you feel. Eventually turning away from him before he leant his head on top of yours to watch the sunset and you felt your arms wrap over his to keep him in place. The feel of his lips pressing gentle kisses to the side of your face making you shiver and when he pulled you in impossibly closer you couldn't wipe the smile from your face. ‘Hey Y/n?’

‘Yeah?’ You whispered back. Trying to play things cool as you could tell his voice was nervous and you weren’t sure what he was about to say.

‘Would you be my girlfriend?’

‘I think I would, yeah’ you smiled, looking back up at him shyly but the look of relief on his face made your tummy flutter. ‘I didn’t get to poke you in the ribs’

‘There’s always time for that later’ he winked. His silly joke making you laugh but all you wanted in this moment was to kiss him. Not caring about how beautiful the sunset was as the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen was right in front of you and he was yours so you reached forward and pulled him in for a bruising kiss.

‘Do you mind if I stay with you tonight?’ you asked shyly once you’d both gotten your breath back. Resting your hands on his chest as he fully enveloped you and the bashful look on his face made your heart flutter.

‘I’d be offended if you didn’t’ he teased, swaying you from side to side gently before popping a kiss on your cheek. ‘You wanna swing by your room and grab some of your things?’

‘Somethings telling me I won’t need anything’ you told him. Hoping he’d catch onto what you were getting at and even though his eyebrows shot up in what looked like understanding you knew he needed a bit more from you.

‘Oh?’ He gulped. ‘Why’s that?’

‘Well are you suggesting I need something to sleep in?’ You asked him cheekily and the deep blush that sprung up on his nose made you carry on. ‘Cause in my head, I didn’t see me, or you for that matter, wearing anything’ you whispered. Trying to be as sexy and sultry as you could and you saw Masons eyes darken immediately.

‘You mean…?’

‘I think tonight might be your lucky night’ you whispered. Cupping his jaw to kiss him and the way he squeezed your waist excited you. Pulling away to see his black eyes frantically searching your face as you both became breathless and you knew he was ready to be alone with you.

‘Shall we get out of here?’

‘I think we should’ you giggled. Taking his hand and leaving the bar without a second glance to anyone you left behind.

The feel of Mason’s thumb gently caressing your ribs stirred you from your sleep slightly. The warmth of him engulfing you and when you eventually opened your eyes he was looking back at you softly.

'Sorry' he whispered, clearly it not being his intention to wake you up but you were thankful that he had so you got to look at him some more. Knowing you'd never get bored of the boy in front of you.

Simultaneously you both began to giggle. Thoughts of the night before flooding your mind of how you'd both finally got to explore the other like you'd been craving and it was like you could still feel his bruising grip on you hips as you rolled your body on top of his. Still felt his hand lightly gripping your throat as he slowly fucked you from behind with his body pressed against yours. His whimpers and whines ringing through your ears that had only aided in tipping you over the edge and for someone who could be so shy around you he was a dark horse when it came to pleasing you.

‘I can't believe you're finally mine' he whispered after your laughter had died down, your heart hammering in your ears at how sincere he sounded and you couldn’t help but roll on top of him. Kissing him sweetly as he steadied your body on top of his.

‘Believe it buddy. No backing out now’

‘I would never’ he whispered. ‘What are your plans for today, beautiful?’

‘Don’t really have any, just a pool day I guess but I feel like I’ve not seen much of actual Malta. I was hoping we would have been out a bit more’ you pouted and he smiled at you softly.

‘Would you like to? I mean we don’t have to stay here’

‘Yeah? I’d love to go to the beach’ you smiled. ‘You know, spend our first official day as a couple just the two of us’

‘Oh yeah’

‘Yeah, let’s fuck these lot off and go out. The towns not too far so we can have a look round at the shops and grab some lunch?’

‘Do you think the others would mind?’

‘I don’t really care if they do’ you laughed. ‘Let’s say we stayed here? We would have spent all day with just each other anyway we may as well just spend it away from here’

‘You’ve got a deal’

‘I’ll go get ready then’ you told him, but from the way his hands gripped your bum you knew he didn’t want to leave his bed any time soon.

‘Not yet’ he whispered and you could see exactly why he wanted to stay here from one look in his dark eyes. ‘Please gorgeous, I won’t be able to think straight all day otherwise’

‘Oh poor baby’ you teased ‘we don’t want that do we’

‘Nope, I was too excited last night. I didn’t even get to have you how I wanted’ he whispered whilst rolling the pair of you over and you giggled as he was suddenly on top of you. Kissing your face gently as he pressed himself into your core and you gasped at the feel of him again.

‘How did you want me?

‘Like this. I wanna look at you’ he told you lowly. Rolling his hips into you but soon enough his lips were on your neck and you felt yourself melting into the sheets.

Once Mason had got his own way you laid with him for a little while. Stealing kisses and stroking his cheek as he gazed at you lovingly but soon enough you were both hungry so he let you run back to your room so you didn’t waste too much of the day and within the hour you were meeting him at the entrance. Him deep in conversation with Woody but as soon as he saw you his whole face lit up before you said your goodbyes and made your way into the local town.

You walked around the little shops first. Grabbing yourself a quick bite to eat before picking out a few bits for your loved ones back home and your heart melted as you watched Mason try and pick a few things out for his nieces. He spoke about his family often and you could see how much he loved them all but you knew he cared for the little ones especially. Even getting your opinion before making his final decision and with a kiss to your forehead he went to pay.

Next you went to the beach, it was fairly quiet and you allowed yourself to lay in the water and clear your mind as the sun licked your skin. Feeling the waves ripple past you gently as you got comfy by the shore but soon enough your light was blocked and a pair of lips were kissing yours.

‘Sorry, I couldn’t resist’ he chuckled. Linking your pinkies together before joining you in the water and you realised then and there you’d never felt more at peace.

‘Is there anything you want to do today? We’ve still got a few hours before we need to go back’ you asked once you were both out and drying off. Mason insisting you sit in front of him and from the way he kept kissing your shoulder and touching your thighs you knew he was just as in his feels as you were.

‘I’m happy here with you’

‘That’s not what I asked’ you giggled. ‘You and Woody we’re talking earlier, did you have plans?’

‘I was meant to play tennis with Woody but then Kaz wanted to play too and it wouldn’t worked out with the three of us so I left them to it. She’s way better than me anyway’

‘Why don’t I join you?’ You offered. Knowing Mason loved any type of sports and he’d been banging on about playing tennis since before you’d come out here.

‘You play?’

‘Nope’ you winked. ‘But I picked up mini golf quickly, I’m sure you’ll be able to whip me into shape with tennis too’you laughed. Watching his eyes turn dark as he nibbled his lip but within a blink the look was gone, just a pinky blush over his cheeks and nose as he thought about that statement in a different context. ‘Why don’t we dry off, get some late lunch then head back and join them. Then I can get packed up early so I don’t have to worry about it later?’

‘You’re staying with me again tonight right?’ He asked, a slight tinge of fear in his voice that maybe you couldn’t but you just smiled at him.

‘If I must’ you joked, turning in his hold so you could kiss his jaw. ‘Of course I am’ you confirmed and with a final squeeze you got yourselves packed up.

Mason found you a little Italian restaurant just up from the beach and he let you order for the both of you before you made your way back to the hotel. Thankfully Woody and Kaz had only been playing for ten minutes by the time you turned up and you spent a little while getting to grips with the game as Mason tried to teach you. Flashbacks to your first date where he was teaching you to play golf crept into your mind but this time he was much more touchy and kept kissing your cheek which was making you giggle like a little girl.

Things only intensified when he took his shirt off and you got to see his muscles flexing under his skin and you knew he knew you were staring and he kept winking at you and kissing you deeply whilst guiding your arms from behind but all you could think about was getting him back to his room for a repeat of this morning.

y/n recently added to their stories

Dinner that night was a low key affair, in fact most of you were off doing your own things so you and Mason took yourselves out to another restaurant by the beach so you could fit in one final sunset and once you were both completely full, Mason suggested going back to the hotel for a few drinks before heading back to his room.

He held your hand the whole time, not even wanting to put it down to eat as you both caught up on the few days you’d been apart. Mason eager to hear all about your event and Mason updated you on his training whilst showing you pictures of him playing tag and walking around in his little crop top that you enjoyed a lot, but your favourite thing was the beautiful smile on his face.

The bar was fairly quiet when you got back and after you’d gotten your drinks and found a table you nipped off to the loo so you could make sure you still looked presentable. Not that you thought Mason would care but the thought of sitting opposite him with sauce all over your face filled you with dread. Thankfully you were fine but as you made your way back to your table you thought you could hear Mason's voice and he didn’t sound best pleased. It was only when you noticed Carl sitting opposite him did you realise why but you hung back a little to listen into the conversation and even though Carl was being his ever charming self you noticed how mason wasn’t backing down and finally telling him how it is.

‘All I’m saying is, I’d be careful with that one mate, she was all over me the other day when we were on that jet ski’

‘Oh was she yeah? See I seem to remember you being all over her, and she told me you wouldn’t leave her alone at the event so she’s not actually been around you since cause you made her uncomfortable? Pretty sure that’s what she told me’ Mason scowled and he watched Carl's face drop.

‘Got you on a tight leash already huh?’

You knew Manson would be able to handle things on his own but you didn’t want him to have to sit through this. Especially knowing everything you did now about Carl so without a second thought you made your way over to Mason before he could say anything else. Placing your hand on his shoulder before sitting yourself on his legs and smiling brightly at him. ‘You okay my love?’

‘Better now you’re here’ he grinned. Pulling you further into his lap and resting his hand on your thigh as you lent down to kiss him sweetly and from the look in his eye he knew that you’d overheard a lot of the conversation.

‘I don’t mean to be rude Carl but my boyfriend and I were hoping for a little bit of alone time’ you told him. Watching his lips purse at the words boyfriend but he recovered quickly and began to smirk at you in the cocky way he always did.

‘I can sit here, it’s a free country’ he shrugged, settling back into the seat like he owned the place but rather than get annoyed you just cupped Mason's jaw and made him look at you.

‘Shall we go back to the room then? We can start our evening early’ you winked at Mason, hoping it was obvious enough to them both as to what you were getting at and from Mason's red cheeks you could tell he’d understood. ‘Hope you and your right hand have a good night Carl’

You pulled Mason up by his hand, the pair of you giggling as you made your way into the corridor where your room was and when you came to his room he pulled your arm gently so you’d stop.

‘You’re insane, you know that?’

‘Maybe a little bit’ you shrugged, letting him push you up against his door as you both giggled and when you reached around to stroke the back of his hair you felt his shoulders relax like usual. ‘I just want you to know you’ll never have to worry about him with me, okay? I’m all yours, Mount. Have been from the second I saw you strutting your stuff about in front of that camera’

‘I’ve known it since you walked into that room too’ he whispered. Bumping his nose against yours before kissing your cheek. ‘Also remind me to never get on your bad side. That right hand comment was brutal’

‘The truth hurts sometimes, what can I say’ you smiled. ‘How’s about you take me in your room and you can have any side of me you like’

‘Deal’ he winked. Taking your hand in his before leading you inside for hopefully another night like the previous and as he pushed you up against the door from the inside and captured your lips with his, you knew this trip was the just the start of something beautiful with the most perfect man you’d ever met.

y/n

liked by masonmount, Freddie_Smith, woody_ and others

y/n if there was ever a place to make things official, then this was pretty perfect 🩷

view comments

masonmount mine 🙂‍↕️

y/n yours 🥰

Freddie_Smith you guys, I like to think I had a hand in this 🤍

y/n you should forget stuff for shoots more often

masonmount are you trying to get me replaced already?

y/n sleep with one eye open 🩷

Woody_ my boys gone and done it 🥺 happy for you guys

y/n thank you woody 🩷 can’t wait to see you and Kaz soon

Lexxy mum and dad 🥰

y/n that’s you and Freddie to me 😭

kazzzzza triple date soon please 🤭

y/n YES PLEASE 😘

Lexxy I’m so down let’s do it

declanrice I think I’ve missed a few chapters

benchilwell tell me about it

y/n hi boyssss 👋🏻 I can’t wait to meet you Masons told me loads about you

masonmount cod later? I think I’ve got some explaining to do 😭

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ssahotchnerr · 3 months ago

Note

imagine it being a saturday morning and you're laid in bed trying to catch up on sleep when all of a sudden you wake up because of course its jack and ellie poking you awake. you're groggy and aaron isnt there because he's making them breakfast, as he loves to do, and you can only mumble grumpily about how dont want breakfast, you just want your husband to come back to bed. and so the kids scurry into the kitchen to drag him back and he pulls you into his warm embrace. as you rest your head on his soft tummy and drift in and out of consciousness, you're all piled into the bed, discussing weekend plans and just being a family ❤

(My writing could NEVER be as beautiful or expressive as yours but i hope ive conveyed the concept because we all deserve to feel the warmth these thoughts instill in my heart)

AWWW that is adorable 🥹 the literal dream. fem!reader

muchhh too early, jack and ellie are running into your room, bouncing onto aaron and waking him up first (to be fair, he was already awake, he had heard them coming from down the hall LOL), telling him good morning, telling him what they dreamt about, asking him to c'mon and get up!!!!

you stir at the noise (they're loud), but quickly fall back to sleep - you haven't been sleeping well, have been getting up at the crack of dawn nearly every day, you even fell asleep last night way earlier than usual. aaron knows how exhausted you've been 🥺 so before they can pounce onto you next, he's taking them out (aaron literally caught ellie midway LOL). hehe he's carrying her out sideways as she protests, reaching back towards you, with jack at his heels.

and so aaron starts breakfast <3 as he cooks, they're both crowding around him; jack keeps asking if he can help, so soon enough he's perched on a chair next to aaron so he can easily reach 🫶🏻 ellie isn't as helpful; she brings her toys into the kitchen, which aaron continuously steps on as he navigates around 😭 as she's on the floor and leaves them scattered. hehe he keeps asking her if she's going to play in here, "please play at the table" 😭

and once all is ready, aaron asks them to ask you if you want breakfast, with the instructions of doing so gently, "mom's very tired" 🥺 jack and ellie run back into your bedroom, softly poking you awake. they're close, you can feel their breaths on your face while your eyes remain closed, and you sleepily mumble how you're not hungry, you just want aaron 🥺

so back into the kitchen they go, ellie's pulling on aaron's hand with allll the strength she can muster, attempting to drag him out, telling him that "mommy needs you right right right now🥺🥺🥺"

when aaron slides back into bed 🥺🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 you subconsciously adjust yourself so your head's on his middle, nestling into him and aaron's playing with your hair as you doze, running his fingers through your hair, rubbing your scalp, pressing kisses to the top of your head <3333 you're just so comfy and he's so warm and you could easily stay right there forever. and so could he 🥰

and meanwhile, jack and ellie are sitting on the carpet eating their pancakes. some show is on the tv, they're quietly eating and watching while you and aaron are snuggled up together <3 and once they're done, they pile into bed with you both; you're more awake now - pressing kisses to jack's head, tickling ellie to get her to giggle, and talking about the day ahead 🥹

for example, jack states how he wants to go to the park, ellie chimes in with agreement - but aaron mentions how there's errands to run first, you mention how they both need to clean their rooms (which cause the kiddos to groan LOL), but you lift their spirits by saying you're ending the night at grandpa dave's!!!!!! for a yummy team family dinner <3

and once all is discussed, aaron takes them out again: to give you the time to get up officially (he encourages you to spend at least ten more minutes in bed🥹) and to ready for the day with no interruptions. jack's at the age where he can do so independantly, so aaron gets ellie dressed, and even puts her hair in little pigtails 😭😭 he also cleans up breakfast - this is something he insists on doing whenever he's home 🫵🏻 since it falls on you whenever he's away <3

and once you're done, you keep the kiddos busy as he does the same (some days though, aaron will very quickly join you in the shower while jack and ellie are preoccupied 🤭)

and then your saturday begins 🥰 the first order of business - getting their rooms all tidied up

(and thank you my sweet i'm sobbing!!! 🥹 you conveyed this adorable scene beautifully💓😭 i'm wholeheartedly obsessed this will be on my mind forever)

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #aaron hotchner x you #criminal minds x you #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds imagine #jack hotchner #ellie hotchner <3

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hanniebaeee · 4 months ago

Text

Hannie!

Boyfriend Jeonghan x fem!reader

Warnings: kissing

Genre: fluff

Summary: You wipe off his kiss absent mindedly, and he needs his revenge.

a/n: I'm a mess. I am crying, I have a headache and I'm panicking 😭

Jeonghan was pouting. Seungcheol glanced at his best friend with narrowed eyes as they practiced. He seemed to get his moves wrong and his sour mood was actually irritating him. You on the other hand sat at one corner of the practice room, eyes fixed on your phone.

'Hannie, what happened?' Seungcheol asked as they took a break.

You heard this, and looked up, hoping to catch Jeonghan's eye, but he was stubbornly avoiding your gaze. Sighing you look back at your phone again.

This was just so stupid! All over something you did unintentionally that morning. You and Jeonghan were just leaving home and you were on the phone with your best friend, Jisoo. As you were talking, Jeonghan had leaned in and kissed you - and you, absent mindedly wiped it off. You really didn't mean to, this has never happened before.

But you froze right after you did it, seeing your boyfriend's face. He looked so hurt, you quickly hung up on your call and grabbed his hand.

'Hannie, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to!' You said.

'Let go. I'm late for practice.' Jeonghan said, his voice firm, but sad.

'Baby, please don't be mad!' You pleaded. 'You know I won't ever-'

'But you did.' He said, getting into the car and waiting for you to get in.

You felt bad about it, but you apologized, and yet, he held on with his grudge.

'Hannie, baby, come on-'

'Leave it.'

'You're the one not letting go.'

'You keep bringing it up!'

'Because you're mad at me! You won't even talk to me!'

'I don't want to talk to someone who just wiped off my kiss like you don't like it!'

'Oh my God, Hannie! I said I was sorry!' You said, with a tinge of anger.

'Right. That fixes everything.' Jeonghan said, rolling his eyes.

'You know what. Fine. I did it on purpose. Ok? Are you happy?'

He just glared at you and remained silent, driving. You actually feel bad about getting mad at him. Jeonghan was sensitive about things like that.

'Y/N! Do you want a donut?!' Vernon called from across the room and you nod, walking over to him.

'Dude, what happened? Why is he so upset?' Vernon asked, handing you a jammy donut.

'Nothing, just tired, I guess.' You say with a shrug, licking some jam off your fingers.

Meanwhile, Seungcheol tried his best to get his best friend to talk.

'Since when do you keep secrets from me?' He asked. 'Is it about Y/N? Did you two fight?'

'Hm.' Jeonghan said, his eyes set on you and Vernon. Why were you standing so close to Vernon?!

'Ok, be like that then. Don't tell me. At least don't let it mess up the practice, ok?' Seungcheol sighed, his eyes following Jeonghan's line of vision.

You were shaking your heading at Vernon.

'Seriously, it's nothing.' You said, feeling worse now.

Your heart pounded as you moved across the room, avoiding Jeonghan's glare. But you could feel his eyes drilling holes in the back of your head. You chewed on your donut, avoiding everyone's looks now.

Shouldn't have come today, you thought.

Practice continued for another hour and as soon as Seungcheol said they could stop, all the boys began preparations to leave. You were on your feet quickly, planning to slip away unnoticed. You could just wait for Jeonghan in the car.

Just as you passed Jeonghan, he grabbed the back of your t-shirt, spinning you around to face him. His eyes blazed with anger and it genuinely frightened you.

'Hannie, what are you-' You didn't finish that sentence because he just pulled you closer and kissed you. His lips catching your bottom lip and sucking on it. You just held on to his arms, eyes wide and completely shocked.

Everyone stood watching, surprised for a moment, then came the laughter and the whistling.

When he finally pulled away, he kept his face just inches away, his eyes locked with yours.

'Go ahead, wipe it off.' he dared you, breathing heavily.

You just stood there, stunned and speechless, unable to move. Your cheeks and neck and ears were all flaming hot and you just buried your head in his chest, embarrassed.

'Hannieee!' You whined, and he wrapped his arms around you, a little chuckle escaping his lips.

'I knew something was up with you two!' Mingyu teased, grinning from ear to ear.

Joshua just laughed, shaking his head.

Your cheeks were burning and your heart racing, as you look up at Jeonghan.

'Hannie, I really didn't mean to-' you began, but he just shook his head.

'I know baby, I'm sorry I overreacted.' Jeonghan said, smiling softly at you.

You hugged him and he held you tightly against his chest, shooing away the boys who were having a great show.

Seungcheol just rolled his eyes at you two, smiling as he made everyone leave.

'Let's go home ok?' Jeonghan said with a mischievous glint in his eyes. 'You have a lot of making up to do'.

You just laugh.

#svt #seventeen #jeonghan scenarios #jeonghan fanfic #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan imagines #jeonghan x y/n #jeonghan x you #jeonghan x reader #yoon jeonghan #boyfriend hannie #hanniehae #svt x y/n #svt x you #svt x reader

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httpsserene · 1 year ago

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𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐡 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐰/𝐥𝐧𝟒

📖𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you’re upset with the switch up the internet has pulled on you. a few years ago, everybody was saying you were too pretty for lando, but now they’re drooling over him? you will not be letting this slide. 📖𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: fluff. mild angst. humor. twt users being twt users. reader is a fashion designer (not important but mentioned). reader is also wild af. brain-rot. not beta-read. 📖𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: lando norris x fem!black!reader 📖𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: smau. 📖𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸: spice girl • aminé

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: in honor of lando's birthday :) look y’all—i saw one tik tok edit that was like “why is lando kinda…” and i audibly said KINDA???? and then i got mad like, how are people just noticing how fine he is. and then i saw another one that was like, “oh everybody thinks charles is the prettiest on the grid…but now introducing: lando” and i almost threw my phone across the room :) so this is inspired by me flexing that i have always thought lando was fine, and that i’m also mad that i have to share him. loves, this is complete brain rot and it took me years to recreate these ig posts for some reason; have fun reading !!!

all pics are from pinterest/op's

want to be added to my taglist or submit a request? send me an ask!

all of my posts can be found from my table of contents

anything on your mind? talk to me!

twitter • three years ago, 2020

instagram

yninstagram • three years ago, 2020

liked by landonorris, mclaren, maxfewtrell, lewishamilton, and 16,175,978 others

yninstagram lando norris is the man i want to spend the rest of my life with. he’s perfection personified. the most soft, kindest, sweetest, considerate, and funniest man has allowed me the privilege of being his girlfriend. i’m forever thankful that we get to grow together. he’s the cutest, hottest, and prettiest boy to ME–and that’s all i care about, and that’s all you need to accept. i don’t give a FUCK about your opinions on who *i* should date. i’m the only person who’s decisions matter concerning my romantic relationships. why the hell should y’all bitches who don’t even use their own photos for their pfp’s and use a k-idol’s face instead, dictate who is hot or not. it’s incredibly vein, disgusting, and immature behavior from people who think they’re my fans. acting like jealous school children isn't cute; i was never your property. it’s hilarious too, considering some of y’all are grown women DOUBLE my age talking shit about my business–go worry about why your kids don’t want anything to do with you anymore.

tagged landonorris

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yninstagram matter of fact, go ahead and change your little profile pictures to real pictures of you, i don’t want to see any filters. then we can all see that all y’all want to do is spread insecurity stemming from your own self-hatred 🙂

yninstagram and while i have you all here, my winter season clothes will be restocked on the 15th.

comments have been disabled.

twitter • imessage • 2023

instagram

landonorris • august 24th • zandvoort ⚑

liked by yninstagram, mclaren, carlossainzjr, and 547,930 others

landonorris back in my favorite place

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yninstagram first!! stay back hoes 🤺🤺

➥ user being called a hoe by y/n is not what i expected this year

➥ user she has notif’s 😭on 😭 for 😭 lando 😭

yninstagram how r u so HOT 🥵

yninstagram that sweater is mine now 👺

➥ landonorris i can just get another for you love

➥ yninstagram …i want this one lan🫤

➥ landonorris okay it’s yours 🫠

user neither of them have any backbone when it comes to each other

➥ yninstagram as it should be 😤

user might have to trip and fall into lando’s arms this weekend

➥ yninstagram i’m flying in tomorrow rethink your plan 🙂

➥ user i think i’ll avoid lando like the plague this weekend 😅

➥ user smart decision babes

landonorris • september 12th

liked by yninstagram, lnfour, tumitravel, and 425,395 others

landonorris coming in hot @ tumitravel

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yninstagram come in me—i mean come home to me haha 😳😊

➥ landonorris babe please not in front of the sponsors 😧

➥ tumitravel oh no pls don’t stop for us 🫣 we stan y/n

user i saw this photo shoot LIVE!!! lando was so sweet, he signed my hat for me, and he smells so good 😩😩

➥ yninstagram i’ll chop off your nose and then you can be voldemort for halloween 👺

user i don’t know if i want to choke him or have him choke ME

➥ yninstagram how about me choking you

➥ user omg i’m down for a threesome 😳

➥ yninstagram choking you to death :)

➥ user i don’t wanna play this game anymore

landonorris • september 18th • singapore ⚑

liked by yninstagram, mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 950,706 others

landonorris whatttaaaaa weekend ❤

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yninstagram GODDAMN

carlossainzjr vamossss landito ❤️💪🏼🏆

➥ landonorris ayyyy 🧡🥳🥳

➥ yninstagram my boysssss 🥰

yninstagram that’s my boyfriend 🤤

➥ landonorris last photo is just for you 😋

yninstagram so proud of you baby, i’m running out of room to put all these trophies <3

➥ landonorris v happy to be your trophy husband

user i’m in love with this singapore haircut 🤤 thank you for not fucking it up lando 😅

➥ yninstagram mmm yes, i’m thrilled it’s still long on the top 😍 it gives me something to tug on

user surprised y/n allowed him to post that last one

➥ yninstagram he doesn’t need my permission, but i get to see him naked so i rdc

user quadrant helmet it so beautiful! i want it to stay 😭

➥ user i want him to fuck me with it on

➥ yninstagram out of pocket…but completely valid honestly—delete your account 😊

liked by landonorris

yninstagram carlando 1-2 makes up for the war i’m fighting in these comments

mclaren • novemeber 8th

liked by landonorris, f1, yninstagram, and 97,293 others

mclaren pulling up fresh with @ landonorris

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yninstagram not pictured: @ landonorris pulling up to OUR flat

➥ user y/n said “he’s coming home with meeeee”

f1 does he come with the jacket👀

➥ yninstagram no, but the price of me folding you like a lawn chair is included in shipping & handling

➥ f1 i’ll go sit down 😅

➥ user she’s fighting the f1 main??? this is mentally-ill behavior y/n!!!

yninstagram mclaren admin go stand in a corner and stare at the wall

➥ mclaren they made me post this!!! i would NEVER risk upsetting you ma’am 🙇🏼‍♀️

➥ yninstagram no talking from the timeout corner 🫵🏽

user we don’t care about the jacket. which organ do i have to sell to buy an hour with him?

➥ yninstagram both kidneys

➥ user but you need at least one kidney to live?

➥ yninstagram how,,,unfortunate

user model!lando always glowssssss

➥ yninstagram it’s the 9 step skincare routine i have him on, you can follow steps 1-8 on his ig

➥ user what’s step 9?

➥ yninstagram kissing me 🤭

lando.jpg • novemeber 13th • with my wife ⚑

liked by yninstagram, carlossainzjr, mclaren, team_quadrant, and 976,234 others

lando.jpg lucky to have found you so early in my life. you're my best birthday gift.

tagged yninstagram

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yninstagram posting my side boob on the jpg account? forgiven since you called me your wife 🥺

➥ lando.jpg thought i’d start practicing your future title, mrs. norris

➥ yninstagram come back to bed. you can start practicing giving me your kids too.

user i want y/n to bury my head in between her boobs

➥ lando.jpg no. i sleep there also—you’re blocked 🤗

danielricciardo as long as i’m the godfather, i can forget i’ve ever read this 🤮

➥carlossainzjr get in line mate, i’ve called being baby norris’ godfather ages ago

➥maxverstappen wait your turn mates, clearly i am the correct choice for godfather

➥maxfewtrell ah, i believe you lads have forgotten my existence

➥yninstagram baby norris doesn’t exist yet, no need to fight to the death rn 🙄

➥lando.jpg i’ll convince the mrs to have four, for my racing number and so you each have a godchild 😅

user y/n may have won the war, but i’ve won the battle—bisexuals have been fed today!!!

➥user girl, i’m straight and i’ve zoomed in on the last photo an unhealthy amount of times

➥user i diagnose you with y/n-sexuality it’s incredibly common in humans

liked by lando.jpg

oscarpiastri you two are made for each other 😀

➥lando.jpg this sounds like an insult 🙂

➥yninstagram i thought kids under 13 weren’t allowed on ig

➥oscarpiastri you’re not even a year older than me @ yninstagram

mclaren mama y papa

➥ yninstagram still on timeout.

➥ mclaren :(

taglist: @saintslewis @cherry2stems @lorarri @inloveallthetime @mindless-rock @biancathecool @barnestatic @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz

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caitified · 8 days ago

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i luv ur fics omg 😭 could u do paige x reader who loves horror where paige is scared of horror and they go to halloween horror nights (a haunted house theme park event thing) or watch a horror movie together 💜

haunt

paige bueckers x reader

warnings: none! as someone who gets scared easily i basically wrote myself here as paige..happy late halloween.

you and paige had been planning halloween night for weeks, and tonight was finally the night. there was a haunted house in town everyone had been talking about. at first, paige had acted super confident, teasing you about how you’d be clinging to her the whole time. but as the days passed and halloween night got closer, you noticed a slight shift—her teasing softened, and she started hinting that maybe haunted houses weren’t really her thing. you had your suspicions, but you knew she’d never admit she was scared.

as the five of you arrived at the haunted house with azzi, jana, and aubrey, paige tried her best to play it cool. “just so you know, i’ll protect you all,” she said, winking at you while gripping your hand just a bit tighter than usual.

aubrey raised an eyebrow, giving her a skeptical smile. “sure, paige. we’ll all depend on you.”

azzi and jana exchanged amused glances, both of them a bit more excited than scared, though you could tell they were gearing up for the jump-scares. the entrance to the haunted house loomed ahead, dark and eerie, with creepy music and distant screams filtering out through the walls. you felt paige shift beside you, her fingers trembling slightly as she glanced nervously at the darkened doorway.

“you good, paige?” you teased, leaning close and squeezing her hand.

“me? scared?” she scoffed, sounding a bit too quick to dismiss the idea. “nah, i’m just… mentally preparing.” her voice was confident, but her eyes kept flicking back to the entrance.

you just laughed, finding her bravado adorable. “right, you’ll keep us all safe from the monsters.”

“obviously,” she shot back, puffing up a little. “but, uh, don’t let go of my hand, just in case.”

as you all stepped inside, the door slammed shut with a loud bang, and paige jumped, squeezing your hand even tighter. azzi and aubrey snickered, giving her playful nudges as you walked further into the dimly lit, twisting hallways. shadows seemed to move on their own, and every corner held another actor ready to jump out. with every lunge or sudden scream, you felt paige tense, inching closer and closer to you.

“you sure you’re okay?” you whispered, catching the way her eyes darted around at every little noise.

“totally fine,” she whispered back, trying to sound casual, though her grip on your hand was practically a death grip.

the first jump-scare came from a figure dressed as a ghoul, who leaped out from behind a doorway, and paige let out a yelp, practically leaping into your arms. azzi burst out laughing, clapping her hands, while aubrey teased, “our fearless leader, everyone!”

paige shot them both a glare, mumbling, “it just… caught me off guard.”

jana gave her a knowing smile, shrugging. “if you say so, paige.”

moving on, you came into a foggy room filled with eerie mannequins, some posed in twisted, unnatural shapes. the group hesitated, glancing around, when suddenly one of the “mannequins” came to life, lunging toward you all with a guttural scream. everyone screamed and scrambled, with paige clutching you even closer, burying her face against your shoulder for a moment before peeking out to see if the coast was clear.

“that wasn’t… that bad,” she mumbled, cheeks pink.

“not at all,” you teased, leaning in close. “want me to hold your hand through the rest?”

she rolled her eyes but didn’t let go. “don’t act like you’re not a little scared too,” she murmured, though her voice softened as her fingers laced with yours, grounding herself with your presence.

as the group continued, azzi and jana took the lead, laughing as they bravely navigated the dark hallways, while aubrey stayed closer to you and paige, occasionally tossing a smirk your way when paige shrieked at another scare. when you entered a pitch-black room with only faint, echoing whispers, paige’s breath caught, and she leaned even closer, her hand warm and steady in yours.

“i can’t see anything,” she whispered, her voice a mix of fear and excitement.

you leaned into her, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. “i’ve got you, paige.”

by the time you made it out to the exit, paige let out a long, relieved breath, still holding your hand as if she didn’t want to let go.

“so… not scary, huh?” you grinned, looking up at her.

paige finally laughed, letting go of your hand just to wrap an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. “fine, you win,” she said, grinning down at you. “but next year, we’re carving pumpkins or something.”

sorry for the lack of fics, i’ve been really busy but i’ll be writing more now. requests are STILL open!! thanks for reading

#paige bueckers imagine #paige bueckers x reader #paige bueckers #uconn wbb #uconn huskies #uconn x reader #wbb headcannons #wbb imagine #wbb x reader

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mayordea · 1 year ago

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Happy birthday to the number one princess in the world!! 💖

~from her biggest fans :)

ramble of my scattered thoughts on the piece under cut as usual cuz i love talking 😋

This has been an idea I've been cookin for a while, and it was so cluttered and unlike any other ensemble piece I've made... and I decided I oughta do it anyway. I love Miku, I love Vocaloid, and I wanted to do something really ambitious and crazy for her anniversary. Crazy that she's turning her "canon" age this year TwT

I had the idea floating around since like, May...? And then finally started acting on it around June 18. I'm terrible with deadlines, obvious with how I can never make a silly birthday post in time, so I started wayyyy ahead to make sure I have some room to be lazy lol, especially with an idea as ambitious as this.

This was finished on July 12! So I had to sit on this for an annoying amount of time. Very difficult for someone like me who just wants to talk about everything I'm working on to the masses. But at the very least, that gave me the time to work on the draft for this post.

~~~

Here's some ~behind the scenes~ scribbles leading up to the finished piece!

Left is the chicken scratch plan i made in my handy dandy notebook (whenever things are getting real and ambitious, i always made a rough ROUGH plan in there. Usually I'd do a rough pass of the full thing, but this was too complicated for me to do traditionally. I majorly benefited from digital tools to make this possible). CyberDiva and CyberSongman were considered, but I ended up cutting them cuz I just didn't feel like drawing them sorry-- (just pretend they're off to the side. They gave Ruby and Clara the pizza lol). Right is the "final" completed sketch (before I decided to include Chika mid-way through coloring and VY1 and VY2 near the finish line). I started by drawing the main "groups" separated on a different canvas so I can plop them into the main canvas for easy rearranging and transforming. However I got lazy and ended up drawing everyone in the bottom right corner directly on the canvas since I liked seeing the big picture of everyone's positions. Y'know.

Almost excluded Chika! But I like her design so much that I just felt like including her last-minute. You win this time, Chika fans. VY1 and VY2 were very close to being cut! I added them when I began doing the banner and thought "eh why not". I figured their non-human designs would be pretty easy to include pushed back in the bg. Ik VY1 is more commonly associated with the fan design, but I referenced the hairpin cuz it was simpler and the fan looked very annoying to draw 😭

Sorry to the fans of many Vocaloids I had to cut because this composition was insane enough as is. I promise I wanted to include fellas like CUL, LUMi and Sachiko 😭 I will admit I was a little biased on who I wanted to include over others. Like, I don't normally care for Bruno and Clara, but I wanted to get some more international 'loids in the mix. Also wanted to stick in the realm of official designs and not fan-designs since, as much as I can appreciate those, are just a whole "wait who is that guy supposed to be" situation I didn't wanna deal with. I also did wanna include even more character references through the balloons, but they ended up being kind of ugly and overcomplicated the BG :,) (Oh, and while this was originally planned to be a Vocaloid-only piece, I did end up including Teto, Neru, and Haku 'cuz those are Miku's besties dude!!! They may not be Officially in the club but they're her girls and it would be criminal to not invite them to her birthday).

Anyway, this project marks the first time I've drawn a lot of Vocaloids. Lily, Piko, Rana, Yuki, Yukari, Miki, Maika, and many more lol. All of 'em I've heard or seen in passing, but now I actually drew them, and some have really cool and fun designs!! I got into a habit of drawing Merli after this since I just love her design for example. And I'll probably be drawing more lol!!

Oh and the last thing I'll add for now!! The cake is indeed made up of various song references!! I wanted to reference the "big four" producers, just absolute icons in Vocaloid history. The pink/black checkerboard is "World is Mine" (Ryo), the crescents on the side is "Rolling Girl" (Wowaka), the smiley faces is "Matryoshka" (Hachi), and the three hearts on the side is "The Vampire" (DECO*27, which is sort of a symbol of his whole Mannequin album tbh). I know "The Vampire" is a bit modern but I couldn't think of anything else off the top of my head. I'm a fake DECO fan I know 😔 "Matryoshka" was originally going to be referenced in the colors of the candles but believe me it looked like shit so I just went for something else last minute 😭

That's all I have to say!!! Hope you didn't mind the text wall if you made it here. I hope you like it as much as I do!!!! Happy freakin' birthday Miku!!!!

I have to deal with tagging all these characters now for my page,,, in the drafts my tags got cut off after a certain point so I think I'm massively breaching the tag limit 😭 um... I'll figure that out later...

not losing sleep that i can't tag everyone, even for page organization purposes because some characters have pretty generic names and some are a little hard to see in full yknow. If you're one of those people who tag every character in the art piece you reblog... I am very sorry.

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voidsuites · 17 hours ago

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ARTRICK BOT RELEASE !!! (11/13/24) ⌢⠀ 🎾 .ᐟ

art donaldson ・゜゜・．coach's orders. you’re art’s newest player— an up-and-coming name in the tennis world— but you’re stubborn and prone to working yourself to the bone in the name of the game. tashi would’ve loved you if she’d gotten her hands on you first, but you’re here with him, on his private backyard court, listening to his advice about your game and ultimately, your career. and damnit, art’s not going to take that for granted (even if it means pushing the delicate boundaries between an athlete and their coach). you’ve got to learn how to relax, and art’s not opposed to bending you over the net if that’ll fix things.

art donaldson ・゜゜・．lesson planning. it’s your first year having a hands-on role in building out and finalizing the curriculum for the middle school english department, but your focus has been equally split between what books your kids are going to read and the head of the english department himself, mr. donaldson. you’d been wary to accept such a high responsibility in the first place, but he’d insisted that you help him review the materials during prep week, and you'd never say no to art… even if it means awkwardly dancing around the fact that you’re both clearly into one another— oh, and that he’s finally taken off his wedding ring.

art and patrick ・゜゜・．night of the living frat! it really should be sacrilegious that sigma chi’s hosting a costume party just a week after halloween, but none of the brothers had been able to resist yet another party before finals overtook the rest of the semester. besides— who passes up a chance to dress up and drink? the music’s loud, the drinks are a-flowin’, and you’d never be able to tell that tonight isn’t halloween. no one’s the wiser… which only makes it harder for art and patrick to keep their hands to themselves and their heads out of the gutter when you eventually materialize. hopefully they can convince you to stay the night… if they can remember how to share first.

patrick zweig ・゜゜・．mr. z. everyone loves mr. zweig— or “mr. z” as the students like to call him— and as the newest teacher amongst the faculty ranks, he’s quick to make nice and befriend everyone, including you. normally, you’d normally be skeptical of a washed-up pro tennis player coming to fill in the vacant gym teacher position, but you instead find yourself spending more time with patrick and enjoying yourself. it’s only a matter of time before you realize that lines are blurring and that whatever is going on between you both is way more than a friendship between fellow teachers coworkers.

patrick zweig ・゜゜・．shopping spree. frequent trips to the high-end side of the city had never been your sort of thing thing, but now that you’re dating patrick they’ve become a weekly occurrence. you never leave empty-handed, and it’s always on his dime (at his insistence, of course, it’s all chump change to him anyway). who cares about the staring you two get when he totes you and your purchases of the day around the city?— he’s the one that gets to go about his business with you on his arm. everyone else is just lucky he just can’t help showing you off while he does.

got a request? go ahead and leave em here :) THANK YOU GUYS SO SO MUCH FOR FOR 5.2K AND 2 MIL+ CHATS! this is actually insanity i don't even know what to say or how to feel but thank you thank you 😭😭😭😭😭😭 challengers brainrot has struck again (big surprise) these are all mostly aus— the art and pat teacher bots (lesson planning + mr. z) are based off of headcanons by dearest mars (the lovely @saintzweig) and the shopping spree pat bot is based off of the moodboard by my true love @diyasgarden !!! please please please please please give my lovely moots a follow bc without them (and everyone else) i would not have any ideas and you all would just be subjected to the whistling wind that blows in my head when nothing is going on in there (which happens often!) love love LOVE you guys for real i am so grateful for all of the support and giggles that we all have <33333333333

#c.ai creator #voidsuites bots #art donaldson #art donaldson x reader #art donaldson bot #patrick zweig #patrick zweig x reader #patrick zweig bot #artrick #artrick x reader #artrick bot #c.ai #bot reqs #character ai #challengers #challengers x reader #challengers 2024 #challengers 2024 bots

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yoonieper · 4 months ago

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For the Birds— Part 3 | JJK

I want you to stay even though you don’t want me.

♡ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (feat. Yuri)

♡ Genre: angst, smut

♡ Rated: T for Treachery

♡ Series Warnings: Lots of smut (not always healthy), cheating, discussions of depression, this series includes Jk in a pretty toxic environment, degradation (not the sexy kind), manipulation, and overall Jk being in an emotionally abusive situation!

♡ Chapter Warnings: Jungkook is really repressed, su*cidal thoughts (somewhat vague), cheating, masturbation (m), edging, mentions of substance abuse (alcohol), horny thoughts, public sex (kinda), lots of making out, dry humping, thigh fucking kinda (m), premature ejaculation(ish?), fingering, handjob, unprotected sex (nope!)

♡ Word Count: 34.5k

♡ Summary: As the son of the CEO at Golden Tech, a marriage was arranged in the name of business. Jungkook really tried to make the most of his situation and be the best husband he could be, but no matter how much he tried, his wife just doesn’t seem to want him. Then you… you came into his life and his eyes couldn’t help but wander.

♡ Now Playing: Low by SZA— see masterlist for playlist!

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♡ Author’s Note: This chapter was such a pain to get done 😭, but please enjoy this behemoth of a chapter! Nice and spicy with a side of tears! My specialty~ This is like the true part 1 of the series so ;)

No reposting, modifying. Translating is not allowed unless given explicit permission. Thank you so much : D

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Jungkook yawned and tried to blink away the tears that had formed to soothe his stinging, dry eyes. A sigh escaped his lips before he turned his head to face the clock that sat ticking away on his nightstand.

6:58am.

Nearly a whole hour until his phone would begin buzzing and the drum solo he set as his alarm would go off. He still had some time to get the sleep he needed, yet no matter what he did, Jungkook couldn’t drift off like he wanted to. He had a long day ahead of him, normally he would never wake up this early, but today of all days, this had to happen.

Jungkook had gone to bed thinking about you. It started off simple, it was like a routine. He would usually take some time to establish a checklist for his next day, especially during times like these where he was normally so busy. Yuri had rested peacefully beside him while he stared at the ceiling trying to remember everything he had planned for tomorrow. It was just meant to be a reminder to himself that he couldn’t go home early, that he couldn’t forget to meet you after work, that he needed to make sure to text the chef not to wait on him to make it home, and that he had to tell Yuri he wasn’t going to be back ‘till late, not that she really even cared. But the second you entered his train of thought, that was enough to keep you in his head, and in consequence, the moments with you the day before started replaying in his mind as he tried to finally close his eyes and go to sleep.

He thought about how impressive you were during your presentation. You were settling into your new role so well; it was astounding to witness. You were always so poised, confident, and everyone admired you, he did too. Later that day, you both would be working alone together. Maybe it was the time he could ask you how you do it.

Then his mind drifted to his brief moment he spent talking to you. Why was he so awkward? The embarrassment made him bury his head in the pillow, a sad attempt to shield himself from the memory of your confused gaze meeting his eyes while his panicked brain tried to find the words he wanted to say. Why did he always find it hard to speak to you like a normal person? It was about work and he’d even practiced what to say during the meeting. However, like always, the minute he tapped your shoulder and you turned around to look at him, his brain just went blank.

That made him think about you even more, your expression as he stumbled over his words while he asked you to stay late with him. He didn’t know when it happened, but his attention had drifted from your face and zoomed in on the purple blouse you wore yesterday— you had looked really good.

With thoughts of you on his mind, finally Jungkook was able to turn his brain off to the point he could sleep for a few hours. However, even in his slumber, he wasn’t safe from being bombarded with thoughts of you and your meeting. His tired mind thought about your blouse and running the silk between his fingers. He imagined your face, your red-tinted lips, and he thought about how confident you were during the presentation. You had led the meeting so well despite how quickly he knew you had to prepare for it.

He had no idea how it happened, but instead of him sitting back and watching you from the head of the table like he remembered, suddenly he was facing the board room; you were now in front of him, on the table, and in his arms. Your skirt was bunched around your waist— he hadn’t seen it happen, but he knew it was because of him. Your lips were hastily chasing his and your arms were wrapped around his neck, clutching on to him for dear life as he pounded into you right there on the meeting table.

You made such pretty sounds for him— he wished he could recall them better when he woke up, all his hazy mind could remember in good detail was how nice it felt to be inside you. You felt so good, every move he made inside your warmth had him feeling like he was on the verge of losing his mind. Tears filled his eyes quicker than he thought possible— but then, he was actually crying.

Jungkook had pulled away. He didn’t know when, but suddenly he was staring at the blurred faces of all the executives that were in the meeting room.

“He’s pathetic.”

“I can’t believe he’s cheating on his wife.”

“He’s just like his parents.”

“Bastard.”

“Why would we trust someone like him to run the company?”

He couldn’t pick apart the voices, but the prosecution was distinct, and he heard every word so clearly. They never moved, he couldn’t even see their faces, but their words had tears rolling down his cheeks like a riverbank after a summer storm. They wouldn’t stop, but neither could he because you just felt so fucking good he could care less about what they say at this point. Jungkook was so desperate, it wouldn’t have mattered if they were in the middle of the most devastating, earth-shattering, cosmic event where the walls were crumbling around him and the floor was ready to swallow him whole; nothing was going to stop him from feeling you.

Nevertheless, the voices were all so loud in the background, it was mind numbing. He just wanted to enjoy this, but he knew he didn’t deserve to. They were right after all, what was he doing?! His body wanted it more than words could describe, but his mind was constantly telling him he shouldn’t do this, that he needed to listen and remember his wife, to remember Yuri, except he couldn’t. The fact that the judgmental remarks of the executives weren’t enough to stop him in his quest to have you, spoke volumes, and it just made the ache in his heart even worse.

Jungkook yearned to remember more of you instead of the accusations, like how it felt to have you that close. He wished he took in every detail— your expression as he pushed inside you, your lips against his, or recalled if he got the chance to kiss the exposed skin revealed by your off-the-shoulder, purple blouse like he had wanted to all day.

When he woke up, his room was still dark, his face was wet with sweat and tears, and he was painfully hard. It hurt so much, Jungkook panicked at first as he reached under the cover hoping his sinful dream hadn’t resulted in a mess— Yuri would hate him so much if it did. That happened once and she’d screamed at him all day about how disgusting he was. But no, this wasn’t that type of dream, but a dream nonetheless that created a horrible problem.

In desperation, Jungkook looked over to Yuri, who was still sleeping next to him, and considered waking her up to help him. Would she? He’s tried his best to do everything she asked, but he knew it would only make her hate him further.

Everything Jungkook did made her hate him even more.

And fixing this himself was off the table— he couldn’t stoop to a level that low. He’d done well for so long, he wouldn’t give up now; it’s what he kept telling himself, but everything inside his body was screaming for him to run to the bathroom and fix this. But how pitiful would that be?

He couldn’t, he just fucking couldn’t. It’s just been so long, too long…

Jungkook both wished and dreaded for Yuri to wake up. He didn’t want her to see him like this, he knew he looked pitiful right now, but he knew she’d make him forget about his dream in no time.

There was no excuse, the only person who he should be fantasizing about is his wife; but you, you just won’t leave him alone. With your short skirts, pretty red lips, and unwavering confidence. It’s only gotten worse as the months have passed— so much worse, he could hardly look at you without remembering what his sinful imagination had pictured of you. He was so disgusting, so fucking disgusting.

Every day he hoped Yuri would put him out his misery— in his most desperate moments, he’d thought about telling her what’s filled his imagination, wishing that it would make her fuck the thoughts of his coworker out of him.

His frustration has affected his marriage, he knew that. He’d been so irritable these days, how in the world could he be the perfect husband if he really couldn’t stop thinking with his dick for five seconds? But he was trying, he really was, but not hard enough.

That’s why he’d been laying here for the last twenty minutes. He had to be on his best behavior, he had to show Yuri he really was trying— no matter how much it hurt, he wouldn’t give into such deplorable urges. He wanted to be good for her.

At first, Jungkook tried to go back to sleep. The minute he opened his eyes and felt his problem, he’d just hope going back to bed would be the solution. He’d tried to get comfortable, pulling up the covers again, but the minute he shut his eyes all he could see was you and your bunched up skirt while he pounded you into the table.

Jungkook hated sleeping on his stomach, he never knew why he ended up like that when he’d fallen asleep lying on his back or his side sometimes— but the position had his hips hastily chasing into the mattress searching for some type of friction. And it only got worse as he imagined you laying right underneath him.

He flipped over so he was on his back, but his pajama pants and even the covers caused enough friction for his mind to go back to the dream. Your red lips against his, bodies hot and heavy, panting and pleading for—

He’s spent the last twenty minutes tossing and turning, trying to force himself to go back to sleep. He had a long day ahead of him, he needed to sleep, but it just hurt so fucking much. He wanted to cum— he couldn’t even remember the last time he did that. Has it really been that long since Yuri came back from that New Years Party?

Fuck, he wanted to be good, he’d wait, he’d wait until she wanted him again, but—

Tears pricked Jungkook’s eyes as his hand slid underneath his shirt, feeling his hot skin covered in a thin layer of sweat.

But it just hurt so much. He really shouldn’t be doing this.

Jungkook thought about Yuri, how much he wished she was awake. She was wearing those tiny shorts again, the ones she knew drove him crazy. If things were different, if he was a better husband, how nice it would have been to just push her shorts slightly to the side— feel her warmth, Yuri always felt so good.

Jungkook wouldn’t even have the patience to get on top, his neediness only allowed for him to swiftly pull his pants down, get one hand under her tank top, and use the other to push her shorts slightly to the side as he’d take her.

“Fuck.” He couldn’t stop his mouth or his hand as it started playing with the waistband of his pants. But you and your damn purple blouse. The one that showed off your shoulders and collarbones. Jungkook imagined in his dream that he’d kissed, sucked, and painted them with small bruises. Maybe you would have made more of those pretty sounds—

Jungkook stared wide eyed at the ceiling as he felt his hand slip past his waistband and grasp onto his throbbing length.

Oh no.

The tears quickly started welling up in his eyes again.

He didn’t even have the decency to commit such an act in private. The bathroom was just right there, but in the moment it felt so far away as he slowly started moving his hand. Jungkook tried his best to choke back the moan as his fingers made it to the tip, he was so sensitive— it felt so wrong, but all he could picture as they came back down was you on that table.

Your blouse, your skirt bunched up, your lips on his, your warmth— fuck, why did something so wrong feel so good? Jungkook tried to tell himself this was just to relieve the pain, but you just wouldn’t let him go.

“Oh no…” He tried to sob quietly as his hand started speeding up. He was so fucking pathetic. Apparently he wasn’t quiet enough, or maybe Yuri was just waking up, she’d normally be in the shower before his alarm even went off. Yuri steadily lifted her head and turned to face him.

“Jungkook, what the hell?” She grumbled. She sounded tired, maybe he really had been too loud.

He looked at her, but his vision became blurry as the tears in his eyes grew heavier. He still was able to see her eyes dart down to the tent under the comforter. He probably looked like a deer trapped in headlights as his whole body froze.

“What are you doing?!” She looked distraught.

He hurriedly tried to blink away the tears. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, maybe that dream had actually made him lose his mind, but that burn, that need, just wasn’t subsiding like he knew it should.

“Yuri, please…” His voice was soft, but he was begging.

Yuri pulled back the covers and was able to see in as much glory as the sunrise would allow, his hand that had slipped into his pajama pants, and the hand that was still underneath his shirt. Jungkook had never felt more pathetic, but his body pleaded, no, begged for more.

Yuri just continued to stare at him.

“I had a dream and— I tried so hard to go back to sleep— so hard, I promise I really did.” He was trying his best not to cry but he could feel the hatred brewing behind her dark gaze. He knew she was disappointed. How does he always fuck everything up?

He probably would have crumbled into pieces and started bawling right then and there if her hands didn’t come up and grab his wrists. He was so confused, but she didn’t give him much time to process as she pinned his hands over his head and climbed into his lap— sitting right where he needed her.

He probably could have come by that action alone if only he wasn’t so ashamed.

“Yuri!” He gasped. She was so close, he could feel her so well, those fucking shorts not doing much at all, it was taking everything in him to not rip them off.

“You’re such a mess.” She mumbled, looking down at him.

“I know… I’m sorry…” He wanted her to forgive him just this once.

Jungkook almost screamed when he felt her hips rock slowly, making him hurriedly chase into hers.

“Please, please, please!” He moaned. His whole body burned, ached, pleaded— he wanted so much more.

“Mmmm, you know how pathetic you look like this?” Yuri chuckled as she ground down a little harder. He couldn’t even imagine how he looked right now.

“I’m so sorry.” He cried, because he genuinely was. He was so sorry she had to be married to him.

“What is it that you want anyway?” She asked like it wasn’t obvious with how hard he was underneath her. He was going to go crazy at this point.

“It’s been so long since we— I— please— I want to fuck you so badly— it hurts so much.” Jungkook normally wasn’t so blunt, but his lust-filled mind only allowed for the equivalent of getting on his knees and begging her to forgive him just this once and put him out of his misery.

It’s been ten months.

Yuri laughed but sped up her pace.

“Fuck!” Jungkook whined, his eyes welling up all over again. He wished he could touch her; his hands running under her tank top or grabbing onto her waist as he pushed her shorts to the side so he could finally feel her. What he would have given to do that.

“Whose fault is that? It was your dick that wouldn’t work the last time.” She was laughing at him. His eyes burned from the tears that continued to fill his eyes, but he needed more.

She was right. It was his fault. Why couldn’t he just get his shit together that day? He knew he wouldn’t get another chance like that again, yet he still couldn’t do it. It was embarrassing.

Jungkook looked intently at where their bodies connected. His erection was so obvious, he wasn’t wearing any underwear so he could clearly see it as she ran over his length. Every time she’d rock forward the tip would almost push past the waistband, red, angry, and staring back at him with shame. He whined at the sight. He couldn’t help imagining what it would feel like if he could take off his pants and she wasn’t wearing those shorts.

She really would feel so good… how the hell did he pass this up back in April?

“I’m sorry.” That’s the only thing he could do, apologize. He felt so bad.

“And you’re crying, again?” She laughed in disbelief. Yes, yes he was; both in the fact he was ashamed, but she’d also been working him far longer than his deprived mind could take, and he wanted to finish. He only needed a little more.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” Her voice was laced with honey, yet reeked of poison. She was so upset at him. Jungkook couldn’t even look at her anymore, he just hurriedly nodded, hoping she’d understand.

“You could cum just from this?” Yuri asked like she was actually curious.

“I will, soon.” There was no point in hiding it. “I wish I could be inside you though— but I’ll take anything if you’ll let me finish.” How badly he wished she’d let him push her shorts to the side, but that didn’t matter anymore. All he needed was to be done with this pent-up frustration, maybe then he could get himself together again.

This seemed to interest Yuri in some way, because she finally picked up the pace and started grinding on top of him. The tears spilled from Jungkook’s eyes as his whole body prepared for the release he craved more than anything right now.

“Yuri please, please, please, please!” Jungkook cried and he couldn’t repeat it enough times for her to get it. He was close and all he could ask for was her forgiveness just this once. He knew this was his fault and he’d try and make it up to her in any way he could.

He was so close, so fucking close— so hot, this position was so hot. He desperately wanted to touch her, but he liked being underneath her like this.

He only tried to hold back for a second, hoping at the last minute she’d hurl those stupid shorts across the room, get a condom, and he’d finally feel her like he’d been wanting for months. However, that only lasted for a second before he was sure he was about to spiral off the edge he craved. But it didn’t matter how much Jungkook pleaded, because right when his cries couldn’t get any more mangled and desperate, she stopped. She stopped and was off his lap before he could hardly comprehend his orgasm was snatched away.

Yuri didn’t say much for once. She just hopped off the bed and looked at him for a little while.

“Somehow you keep getting more pitiful. Get your shit together, Jeon. This will never work if you don’t.” Was all she said with a dramatic eye roll, before she was marching out of the bedroom and leaving Jungkook alone.

Again.

Jungkook just sat there for a second, trying to comprehend what just happened. But his body didn’t allow for much because he still felt like he was five seconds away from exploding.

He hurriedly scurried over to the bathroom and set the shower to the coldest setting possible, he didn’t even bother to take off his clothes before jumping in.

As the cold water soaked his hair, his clothes, and finally started to cool his burning skin, that’s when the real tears began to flow. Because no cold water could stop how much he wanted to reach down and finish himself off. It would be so easy now that he was alone, but Jungkook couldn’t allow himself to stoop so low.

He wouldn’t, he couldn’t. He’s already disappointed her so much.

Jungkook let himself sink to the floor.

He felt as if he was incapable of being a good husband; really, a good person. He was awful. Jungkook was such a disappointment, a failure, a pathetic human being who only brought agony to the people he cared about the most. He was making everyone’s lives so fucking miserable…

Yuri deserved a good husband, it shouldn’t be that hard to at least be decent, yet he couldn’t even do just that. He got hard while imagining fucking his coworker and he had expected his wife to fix the problem?! It was hilarious, he deserved the punishment, worse really. When would he learn to be good? That’s all Yuri expected of him, but—

Jungkook tried to be as quiet as possible while the freezing water poured over his head and washed away the tears that just wouldn’t stop. He wanted to disappear. That would make everything so much easier. All he did was cause pain.

•────•──────────•────•

Jungkook stared at the coffee maker as the dark liquid slowly dripped into the cup. He wondered how he was going to make it through the day only running on three hours of sleep. It would be horrible if he passed out in front of you later.

His whole body felt heavy, just standing up was hard as he struggled to keep his eyes open. Coffee should help— at least it should give him enough energy to make it to work before he could make another cup to push him through the day.

He couldn’t embarrass himself in front of you.

You.

Jungkook scoffed as he suddenly thought back to his dream— nightmare really. Oddly enough, he was used to it at this point. This wasn’t the first time you’d taken over his dreams, you had a terrible habit of filling his mind even when he was fast asleep. You seem to love being in his head.

It was a little more recently that the dreams started, but his mind loved making up scenarios anytime he’d see you in the office.

He couldn’t even remember when it began anymore.

Had it been since you’d spilled coffee all over him? Was it then? All he knew was that you pissed him off for a reason he didn’t even know, not then, not now.

Why were you so pretty? Why did he think you were pretty? He had a wife!

Maybe if you had met any other day he would have had no problem with you, maybe he wouldn’t have noticed you at all, but you met at the wrong time on the wrong day. At first, there was a bit of resentment— he had never hated you, but your first impression left a mark where a wound already existed. Seeing you reminded him of that terrible day and, for a little while, he made it his mission to give you a hard time.

It was petty, he knew that. You literally did nothing wrong. He knew it was only an accident, but there was something about you… at first you just made him upset. The reasons now have morphed into something more complex, something he’s desperately been trying to figure out to get you out of his head. It didn’t make any sense why every time he’d look at you he wanted to pull you so close that your atoms would defy physics and meet at the quantum level. He wanted you, badly, so fucking badly that he was honestly a little worried about later’s meeting.

Jungkook would never act on anything, but he wasn’t sure if he could be alone with you and not lose his mind. How could he not? Everything about you was like candy handed out by a guy in a white van. Enticing, but dangerous, far worse than what his naive brain could comprehend.

His own anger made things worse. He should have known just seeing what you were like on your very first day. No matter what Jungkook seemed to throw at you, you never once faltered, never complained, you absolutely crushed the assignments he’d give you. He was so amazed. You were so self-assured, confident, and meticulous.

Everything he wasn’t.

Jungkook would be in meetings trying to stop himself from fawning anytime you’d speak. You were amazing, and everything about you just aroused him in a way that shouldn’t be possible. It frustrated him so much, he was fucking married.

He was a husband. He had a wife. He couldn’t forget that.

Jungkook tried to shake himself out of it and focus back on the task at hand— coffee, something he desperately needed before he passed out on the floor. He'd taken up the job of making coffee for him and Yuri. She hadn’t asked him to, but he was hoping this would be a nice peace offering for earlier.

He’d worked part time as a barista throughout his first two years of college. How he managed school, gigs, part time jobs, and Golden Tech, was something he couldn’t even comprehend anymore. But while he was there, he did get the opportunity to learn how to make those cute drinks most people would only be able to get at coffee shops.

However, he went for the classics today.

Yuri loved Americanos, iced when it was hotter, but the chill November weather begged for a warmer drink. Jungkook couldn’t handle bitter drinks, he didn’t even like coffee until his schedule forced him to develop a need for it before he even attempted to go outside. Still, he preferred sweeter drinks with milk, sugar, or so much creamer you couldn’t even taste the coffee anymore. Today though, he needed something a little more intense to make sure he wouldn’t pass out at his desk.

He didn’t have time to nap, things were so hectic as they neared the end of the quarter and tried to prepare for next year. He was the overseer of all of this for their department and was more needed than ever.

A latte is what he settled with. He made it fancy too, using the milk to draw a heart over the shots of espresso because why the fuck not? He didn’t have much to smile about these days, why not add a heart to his coffee?

Americanos didn't offer the chance for a cute design, so instead he focused on trying to get the ratios right so it’d be perfect for his wife.

Jungkook had just finished pouring the hot water into her mug, when he heard Yuri’s clicking heels as she made her way into the room. She was wearing a short, black, sweater dress, with her shoulders exposed just like your blouse had been yesterday.

His cheeks flushed the longer he looked. It was like she was trying to kill him. That shower had not worked like he’d hoped.

He coughed to keep himself from staring. “You won’t be cold?” He asked, hoping to keep his mind busy.

She stopped dead in her tracks.

“What?” Yuri scowled. He could sense her irritation immediately.

“I— I just saw it was going to be really cold today— 5 degrees actually, and it’s going to rain. I don’t want you to catch a cold.” He fretted as he saw Yuri roll her eyes before taking a seat on one of the barstools.

“Don’t boss me around.” She grumbled.

Jungkook froze as the guilt washed over him. He didn’t mean it to sound that way, but of course he couldn’t effectively communicate that he was just worried about her.

“What are you doing?” She asked, still clearly disgruntled as she rested her head on her hand. Jungkook suddenly remembered the coffee and hastily went to grab her mug.

“I made you coffee…” He attempted to smile as he placed it in front of her. He hurriedly grabbed his own before taking a seat, making sure he was far away enough to leave a chair in between them.

For a second, she just stared down at the mug, but then her eyes moved to his briefly. He probably looked desperate as he waited to see if she’d accept the offering. He felt like he was waiting for an eternity, but eventually Yuri just sighed before she picked it up.

Jungkook tried to subtly watch her face as she took her first sip. He made a silent prayer to whomever would listen that she would enjoy it, but her expression was unreadable as she set the cup down. Yuri didn’t say anything that gave him any type of clue into her thoughts. It wasn’t good or bad… but it was better than her spitting it out, throwing her cup on the floor, and saying she was better off without him.

Instead of worrying about it too much, he took a sip of his latte, and his brows furrowed as the taste relished in his mouth. It was pretty good for an espresso. He gave himself a mental pat on the back knowing at least he did a nice job on his own.

A few minutes passed by, the steady silence started filling the room and grew more unbearable.

“Are you going to the gym today?” Yuri asked, not bothering to look at him. He didn’t mind, he couldn’t handle meeting her eyes right now.

Jungkook sadly laughed at the mention of it. “No. Things are hectic right now and I have a lot of work today. I’m trying to get there a little early.” He said, taking another sip of his latte. Normally, the first thing Jungkook would do in the morning was head to the gym after he had a bit of caffeine in his system. He always found it a great way to wake himself up. However, the hecticness of his schedule has fucked up his gym routine so much that he’d barely had time to go lately.

Yuri didn’t respond to that.

“What about your plans today?” Jungkook tried inquiring.

Yuri sipped her coffee lightly before setting it down. “I’m going to Busan for a shoot. I’ll be back late— probably not till early morning.”

Jungkook couldn’t stop the way his heart sank knowing she wouldn’t be home later. He had wanted to talk after giving her some time to cool off and properly apologize for what happened this morning.

“Hopefully they won’t make you work too late.” Jungkook tried to smile at her, but instead he was met with the sight of her blank gaze focused more on the kitchen rather than her own husband who was beside her. He resisted every urge in him to pull her close— a hug, an arm over her shoulder, anything to make this better. But he fought it, knowing that it would only dig himself deeper into the hole he created.

Silence, not even a chuckle.

“I’ll be home late too by the way. I have to work overtime with a coworker, so…” His words were drowned in his latte as he brought it up to his lips.

Yuri, once again, didn’t say anything. As the seconds continued to tick by, Jungkook couldn’t easily brush it off this time around. He wished she would plead for him to come home as soon as he could, and then complain about work always getting in the way of their relationship. Maybe she could even question him entirely about the coworker he had mentioned. Anything, he just wanted his wife to speak to him. Yuri was upset. He hated the silence. Why couldn’t he just be better?

“Yuri, I’m sorry for earlier.” Jungkook’s voice was shaky as he finally broke the awkward tension.

“I don’t know what came over me. I just— Yuri, I miss you.” Jungkook turned to face her. He reached out and grabbed her hand that was sitting on the countertop.

“I miss you so much, I’m sorry if I woke you up earlier, sorry you had to see that.” He probably would never recover from the embarrassment, but then he thought about her on his lap and how he nearly blew his load right there. He missed her, why did things always need to be like this?

She still didn’t say anything.

“I’m trying, I promise— I’ll be better…” His eyes started to sting, he knew he was moments away from crying again.

“How long have you been giving that excuse?” Yuri finally said as she let out a dark chuckle. As soon as the words hit his ears, he instantly felt bad for even saying anything. She was right— she was always right.

“Yuri—“ Before he could say anything else, she abruptly hopped off the barstool.

“Jungkook, I'm not in the mood today.” Yuri grumbled as she grabbed her mug.

She was never in the mood to talk about anything. Jungkook knew he should be focused on trying to apologize for his despicable actions this morning, but her words quickly lit a flame he couldn’t extinguish. She was never in the mood to deal with him, to deal with anything that involved them as a couple.

“So that’s it then?” Jungkook huffed, but his face was wet. Embarrassing.

Yuri stopped in her tracks.

“You’re not going to stay? We’re never here together in the mornings— you don’t want to sit here and talk with me, nothing?!” He was upset because he was coming face to face with the reality that his wife hated spending time with him. He knew that already, but seeing her walking away so easily from the one time they were up together in the morning, was enough to make him snap.

“Why is it such a crime that I want to spend time with you?” He cried as he stared at her when she still hadn’t said anything. He usually never got to talk this long before she had something to say.

It was finally then that Yuri turned around.

“And why would I want to do that?” She said with the same dark laugh as before.

“I’m trying Yuri, so fucking hard. I—I—“ And he had nothing to say. Why would she want to be with him? Just look at what happened this morning.

“Jungkook, I told you I’m not in the mood for this— I have places to be.” She sighed and turned away again.

Jungkook watched as she dumped her coffee into the sink.

“It was shit by the way!” She made sure he knew this. That was the last thing she said before heading back to their bedroom.

Jungkook tried his best to quickly wipe away the tears that just wouldn’t stop falling. Her words weren’t surprising, and he deserved them more than ever. He really was out of line. He was pathetic, so, so, so pathetic— why would she ever want to be with him?

However, for some reason, the thing that kept replaying in his mind was how easily she chucked the coffee he had worked so hard on trying to make perfect. The one thing he thought he could do right for her, and of course he failed. He was just one big fucking failure.

Jungkook attempted to take another sip of his own drink, but the taste was completely different than what he had remembered. The bitterness made him nearly gag and it took everything in him not to scream. Instead, the tears ran harder down his face as he quickly got up to throw his latte away too.

He couldn’t do anything right.

•────•──────────•────•

Things have been hectic these days. You were managing and making sure all of the numbers were being met for the holiday promotions, and also working hard to prepare for the next quarter with the teams.

This was the first time you’ve been managing by yourself this long. Director Son would take a day off occasionally when he had to leave the office for meetings at other companies— twice since you had been promoted, but handling an entire week on your own was a challenge you honestly weren’t sure you were qualified for. But there was no way you’d let anyone else know that. Instead, you put on a brave face and did your absolute best.

Today was hectic, and workwise, not really that interesting. Some meetings, assignments you needed to do, tasks you had to handle, it all mainly consisted of what you would typically do every day. However, there was an uneasiness in the air from the minute you woke up and thought about the fact that you were going to be working overtime with Jungkook. It was strange, but you couldn’t lie and say you weren’t nervous.

Maybe it was simply the fact that you were going to be alone with your boss for the first time— you’ve never really hung out with the guy before, and any brief conversation you’ve shared has always been so awkward. You wondered if he genuinely might not like you or something, that it might go beyond pettiness over an incident that happened over two years ago at this point. You’d never been rude to him (at least not to his face), so you had no idea where that would have come from. You figured it had to be the coffee incident still biting you in the ass. Director Son had told you prior to his absence that your workload was still abnormally high in comparison to what had been expected of the last associate director.

Things hadn’t changed besides your feelings being a bit more complicated. Did you like Jeon Jungkook? No, he was still a major dickhead for singling you out over an accident. But were you worried about him? All the time lately.

As much as you wanted to scream at the top of your lungs every time you’d get assigned more work, you kept your cool because maybe— maybe things weren’t as they seemed.

Even though it was always awkward, Jungkook was never mean to you whenever you talked to each other. He would smile sometimes, and you’d joke around with each other occasionally. He was pretty shy— you noticed that almost immediately, he blushed a lot which always made you feel a little funny.

It was when you wouldn’t see each other when he’d get back to being unreasonably petty. Maybe the sad boy act was a trap to make you accept his cruelness out of pity. Maybe, or maybe not. The chance was enough for you, so you settled with— you still didn’t like him, but with more caution. You needed more evidence, and today was a great day to collect findings and investigate further— with you both spending hours alone with each other, it would hopefully give you enough time to see his true colors.

Just leading up to your meeting, things were already starting to get a little weird to say the least. You both worked more closely than usual, and anytime you’d talk with another executive, or you worked on the mountain that was your workload, you always felt stared at.

You liked to think you had a secret pair of eyes in the back of your head because you could always tell when someone was looking at you. Your senses were going off like crazy today, and every time you’d turn to check, you’d see him staring at you.

It could’ve been because you both had plans later. You never once found yourself creeped out by his staring. He reminded you of Bambi at the way his eyes sparkled in the light, and just how bewildered he looked by your mere existence.

You hated to admit it, but it was almost cute?

You had no issue meeting his gaze— at first, because you were a little confused by what was happening, but then you noticed the way his face would light up before he quickly turned away, visibly flustered, so you just kept doing it for fun.

Then, there was the incident on the roof…

You needed to find him to get him to sign some papers. You had gone to his office first— he wasn’t there, so you asked Secretary Yu— she didn’t know where he was, so you were left wandering the floor, asking around, trying to see if anyone had seen him. Luckily, Hoseok came to the rescue as you wandered through marketing trying to find him— he told you he had seen him in the elevator when he went to deliver something upstairs.

“He said he was on his lunch break. I think he was heading to the roof, maybe?” Hoseok shrugged.

The roof?

You tried to ignore the way you felt your stomach drop. There could be a perfectly reasonable excuse for why he would be up there. The actual rooftop of the building was reachable only by maintenance, but there was a terrace a few stories down that everyone at the office referred to as ‘the roof.’ It didn’t have much up there— a few tables and chairs where people could lounge around, and it also had these beautiful trees and greenery that somehow managed to grow that high up on a building.

It was a popular spot during the warmer months, and maybe if today were a nice day, you wouldn’t be as worried, but it was freezing outside. Just walking from your bus stop, which was just down the street, to the building’s entrance, you swore your nose would fall off before you even reached the door.

What business would he have on the roof in November?

That’s why you said a hurried goodbye to Hoseok and nearly ran to the elevator. Maybe this was all in your head, and maybe you had a bad habit of thinking the worst— but your worry had saved someone before. Propelled by your belief that there was even the slightest chance of something bad happening, you never once slowed down as you made your way to the elevators. You hurriedly pressed the floor button, believing it would somehow make it go faster, and you nearly tripped over your heels trying to rush down the short hallway to the door.

As soon as you opened it, the chill air almost blew you away. Your stockings and your white button-up didn’t do much to protect you from the cold, but you persevered anyway.

You didn’t immediately see him out there, so you hastily made your way further around the terrace. Your panic only grew worse with each step you took until you rounded the corner and a silhouette began appearing. It was Jungkook. You took a second to let out a sigh of relief, because at least things weren’t as bad as you thought or certainly could have been, but as you stood there, you noticed his hand come up to wipe his eyes.

He wasn’t crying… was he?

“Director Jeon!” You didn’t hesitate to make your presence known, feeling weird just watching him like this.

At your voice, he turned around, and for a split second you saw it, you saw his sad eyes and the way his face glistened with tears. However, it wasn’t long, and he hurriedly used his sleeve to wipe his face.

“What are you doing out here?! It’s freezing!” You exclaimed as you started making your way towards him. You tried to hold up the papers you were carrying to block the wind, but they merely fluttered before folding over in your hand.

“Y/n, what are you doing here?” He tried to say over the sound of the wind rushing past. You couldn’t tell if he was annoyed to see you or not.

“I had papers I needed—” Before you could finish, he was approaching you and grabbing your wrist to lead you both back to the door.

You looked at him, then his hand on your wrist, then back at him, and then your wrist again. The more you looked, the more you felt your face grow hotter. Part of you wanted to scream and tell him to let go, but you never did, honestly too stunned to do anything but let him lead you away. He yanked the door open, pulling you back into the short hallway.

As soon as the door closed behind you, he finally let go, and you had to take a second to remind yourself to breathe, because what the fuck was that?

“Sorry, it’s freezing out there— I didn’t want you catching a cold.” He laughed shyly, and it was then that you realized how close he was standing.

The hallway was short and not very wide. It was maybe big enough for two people to stand side by side with a little room left so they wouldn’t be scraping against the wall. But you and Jungkook were facing each other, so there was no need to be this close. You wondered if there was even a foot in between you.

You took a second to look at the way Jungkook was leaning against the door. A slight smile was on his face, but standing this close, you could see the way his eyes were a little red.

“I should be saying that to you. What were you doing out there?” You asked, hoping there was some reasonable answer to this. His smile slowly faded, and it’s like in an instant you saw the dark cloud that had managed to form above his head materialize right in front of your eyes. It rained and stormed down on him with a concerning ferocity, yet he never seemed to acknowledge the way the mood had shifted.

“I— just needed some fresh air.” He didn’t even look at you as he spoke, almost like his mind was elsewhere.

“Fresh air without a coat?” You questioned after noticing he was only wearing his suit jacket.

“You got me there…” He chuckled sadly. You looked at him worriedly. It was on the tip of your tongue to ask if he was ok, but once again you found yourself lost for words.

“Um, you said you needed me for something?” Jungkook said, breaking the growing silence.

You almost completely forgot why you came up here. You looked down at the papers in your hand and waved them around. “Right, I just needed you to sign the proposal we talked about in the meeting earlier.”

“Ah right, I see— do you have a—“ he didn’t even need to finish before you were whipping out the pen you kept in the pocket of your shirt.

He smiled at your eagerness before taking your pen and the papers. You watched as he scanned over them, making sure everything was just as discussed, before putting the papers against the door and signing them.

For some reason as you watched him sign his name, it almost made you think about a celebrity signing autographs in the fancy way he wrote the characters. But that only led your eyes to his face, and then you were staring at him, observing him.

You noticed he was still a little pink, you weren’t sure if it was from crying or the cold outside. At some point he flicked his hair out of his face so you could finally see his eyes a little better and you were quick to notice the tinge of red, and his face seemed a little wet around his eyes. It instantly confirmed he had been crying earlier, worrying you further.

His hair had gotten so long now, his bangs brushing softly against his cheeks, and the rest of his dark locks sat prettily just over his shoulders. It was probably long enough that he could very easily tie it up if he wanted. As he concentrated on the documents, you could even see that little mole make an appearance once again as he bit his lip.

It seems you weren’t the only one with eyes in the back of your head, because he turned to meet your gaze.

“I’m almost done.” He hurriedly reassured, and it was only then that you realized your staring might be rushing him.

You turned away so you were looking at the golden doors of the elevator, your face on fire again. It felt like a century as the silence painfully lingered in the air, but eventually he handed back the papers.

“I’m sorry you had to come looking for me. I wouldn’t have taken a break if I knew.” He genuinely seemed sorry. How could this be the same man who's been petty towards you since day one? How?! The Jungkook you had constructed in your mind over the years would never apologize, let alone for something he didn’t need to.

“It’s not a problem. Things have been so hectic, it’s nice to have a break. It was only for a signature anyway.” He laughed at this, but then the silence started filling the air again.

You realized this was probably the time you should be saying your goodbyes.

“Do you want to come down with me?” You asked.

For a second, he pointed toward the door, like he really wanted to head back outside to that freezing tornado of no. But it’s like he realized that it didn’t make any sense, so he was just standing there, confused about what to say.

“Please don’t tell me you’re going back out there?” You looked at him worriedly.

If his fumbling earlier didn’t confirm anything, his silence now sure did.

You had no idea what came over you, and honestly it probably wasn’t the most professional thing to do, but you flipped your hand over, brushed his bangs back, and rested your hand on his forehead.

You noticed his immediate shock with the way his eyes widened, but you pushed on. You then moved your hand to his cheeks and as you feared, he was still absolutely freezing.

“Sir, you’re freezing…” You let him know, hoping this would mean something.

You followed his gaze as it went from your hand, up your arm, and finally met your eyes once again. You nearly shivered as you stared into his eyes, his dark orbs felt weighted. Was it sadness, exhaustion, something else entirely?

You tried to shake yourself out of it and dropped your hand. “Going back out is just asking to get sick, and we really need you here.” You smiled up at him.

He didn’t say anything, and that confused look in his eyes still remained.

The awkward silence returned.

“Um, anyway, you should come down with me. I heard you were on your lunch break, yet I see no lunch.” You pointed out.

It seemed that was what it took to finally get him to snap out of it, as he looked down at his empty hands.

“Right…”

“Don’t tell me you forgot…?” And you just knew he did.

“It’s a bad habit.” He chuckled shyly, but that just made you concerned all over again. What did he mean it was a habit?

“Maybe we could eat together? I just have to drop these papers off and then we could head to the cafeteria.” You said so abruptly, it shocked yourself just as much as it seemed to shock him.

What were you saying?!

…

The silence that lingered had you ready to apologize for even putting out the idea.

“I’m a bit busy and my break is almost over…” You thought this was his way of rejecting your offer. “But… we can get food together.”

Jungkook looked back up at you with a smile on his face. For a second you saw it, that way his eyes crinkled and you found it hard not to fawn at the sight. You felt good that you were able to make him smile like that— for some reason you had the idea that it doesn’t happen too often.

With that, you were heading down the elevator and walking through the halls to your office. On the way, you sensed the questioning eyes of everyone as soon as they saw Jungkook trailing behind you.

Everyone around the office still thought that you hated him.

You eventually got to your office and you were a little shocked to find Solmi and Taehyung standing outside the door. They were just talking, probably waiting for you to go to the cafeteria, but then they finally saw you making your way over.

You noticed their smiles drop as soon as they saw Jungkook behind you.

“Hey guys…” You gave them a warning glare. “I was going to head down with Jungkook— meet me down there later~” You smiled a bit too hard as you set the papers down and turned back to Jungkook, who looked more than a little awkward.

You realized he probably didn’t come out here too often.

You didn’t give your friends any time to ask questions before you were whisking the both of you back to the elevator to finally head downstairs.

You honestly didn’t consider until later how… strange this might look to people. Not only because they thought you still hated him, but you were hanging around a married man like this. You sometimes forgot he was married, but the more looks you received, the more apparent it became how your colleagues might interpret your actions. But you had good intentions. All you wanted to do was make sure he actually ate something, fearing that if you left him upstairs, he’d go back outside again and forget to eat lunch entirely.

No one seemed to be worried, and you doubted anyone else would remind him to eat lunch. It’s not like you were this amazing person, but despite your mixed feelings toward Jeon Jungkook, you still didn’t want to just leave him like this. You wanted to help him even if it was just a little bit. He reminded you of Mi-Sun so much…

Besides that, it also gave you an opportunity to work on the awkwardness between you two before your long night together. Maybe he’d even give you bonus points for taking the initiative and being the first to try and extend the olive branch.

However, neither of you talked too much as you waited in line, which wasn’t exactly what you had in mind. You’d sometimes try to ask him questions, but it didn’t lead anywhere besides a simple back and forth. The glaring awkwardness and the growing murmur of the crowd in the cafeteria filled the space between the two of you. Rome wasn’t built in a day; you knew creating any type of amicable relationship with Jungkook was going to take some time, especially considering you both didn’t start on the best foot, so you didn’t dwell on it too much.

In between your short conversations, many people offered to let Jungkook go in front of them as soon as they noticed the CEO’s son was there, but he declined every time. You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t surprised. That side of you who still thought the worst of him had you thinking he would use his position to nudge his way into any door he possibly could, even something as insignificant as skipping through the lunch line. But no, he didn’t even think about it any time someone would come up to him. Maybe you were wrong once again.

Eventually, you were able to make it through the line.

“You sure you don’t want to stay? Maybe you could spare a few minutes to eat? My friends will be down soon if you want to sit with us, or maybe Director Park—“

“No, it’s alright. I’ve been gone long enough. Thank you, though.” Jungkook smiled.

You looked at him hesitantly. “Alright, just make sure you actually eat.”

“Don’t worry. I’m the king of multitasking~” He laughed, but you still were in fact still worried. For some reason you didn’t believe him, but you didn’t want to fight him on this.

“Anyway, I’ll see you later, okay?” He smiled at you before turning around and heading back to the elevators.

That was the last time you saw each other before your meeting. The rest of the day, you found yourself feeling even more nervous.

•────•──────────•────•

As your colleagues began packing up all their belongings and saying their goodbyes, you tried not to think about the fact that you had to meet with Jungkook soon, because you either found your nerves returning or you wanted to cry because you couldn’t go home.

When the time finally arrived, you passed Secretary Yu’s empty desk and stood outside the door. You took a second to just breathe and try to calm your beating heart. There was no reason to be this nervous, you can handle Jeon Jungkook just like you do everything. Get in, be done, and then get out. Home was your finish line.

Before they left, Taehyung and Solmi performed a ritual to wish you luck for tonight by surrounding your chair with pens, highlighters, bottles of white-out, and basically all the office supplies they could find.

“By the power of this printer paper, Y/n is going to make it home alive.” Solmi said dramatically, holding a pack of printer paper— you had just asked her to fill the printer tray before they started doing this. Taehyung was standing behind her playing spooky music. They both told you that the ambiance was the last ingredient to reassure you that the ritual would work.

You called them dramatic, but they said it was necessary to ensure you made it out of the “demon’s lair” unscathed. It was entirely too much, maybe even a little rude, but you let them have their fun.

There was absolutely no reason to be scared, but you couldn’t help the way your heart sped up in your chest as you knocked you pushed open the door.

Once again, you weren’t greeted with a demon’s lair, but well— no, maybe you couldn’t say that exactly. Taehyung and Solmi, during their ritual, had put the thought into your head that his bright office was merely a façade maintained during work hours, that he and the room revealed their true colors the minute most people were out of the building. You thought it was silly, but as you grasped your laptop tightly and saw that his office was dark apart from the faint glow of a couple of candles placed around the tables, you couldn’t help but wonder if you had entered the right room. This certainly wasn’t what you were expecting.

“Y/n—” You heard, but suddenly there was a loud thud making you nearly jump out of your skin as you snapped your head towards the commotion. “Shit!” You realized Jungkook groaned, as he clutched onto his desk. “I knew that was there…” He tried to laugh, but you could still hear the pain in his voice.

You shook yourself out of your shock, before you hurriedly made your way over to him, trying your best to dodge past the faint outline of furniture on the way.

“Are you ok?” You asked looking down to see if you could notice any damage, but the room was just so dark. You helped him sit back down in his chair.

“Yeah, I just didn’t realize my desk was there…” He sighed, his brows furrowed as he leaned back.

“How could you? Why do you have all the lights off?” You looked around now that you were fully inside the room, and your eyes had adjusted a little more. The candles created a nice mood lighting, and the sparkling city lights outside provided that last little touch of magic. It was pretty, very different from what you’d see during the day. If you didn’t know any better, you might have thought he was preparing for a date considering how romantic this almost seemed.

“I always turn them off when I stay here late— the lights are way too bright for this time of night, in my opinion. I don’t mind it being completely dark, but I lit some candles so you could see.” You were tempted to ask where he got so many since you had never seen them around before, but you kept quiet and just accepted the gesture. It was really sweet.

Jungkook suddenly swiveled around in his chair to reveal a minifridge you didn’t realize he had in here. He opened it, and you peeped a variety of drinks, mainly beer it seemed, but he pulled out a wine bottle before shutting it.

“Only if you want to.” He looked down at the bottle and then back at you.

You were shocked.

It was just then that you realized you never had a picture of what Jungkook was like outside of work. You couldn’t even imagine him stepping outside of this office building, but if you ever subconsciously had any impression, you never expected that he would be so… loose? You honestly thought it would be quite boring staying late with him, where you would be stuck fighting all forces of nature to keep your eyes open. You thought he would be the stone-cold, boring, business type, where you were here for work only.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Jungkook instructed you to grab Secretary Yu’s chair and roll it in so you could sit next to him, since all of the seats in his office were too heavy to move. As you left, he popped open the cork and took out wine glasses he also brought out of thin air.

Once you got back, he even told you that the wine was yours to keep (a gift for staying late with him). You looked at the bottle, but you had no idea what it was. You squinted, trying to read the label, and eventually figured out it was entirely written in French. That’s when Jungkook explained that he had first tried this wine when his father had given him a bottle after a business trip to France.

“I had been having a terrible day, and then I remembered I had this white wine my dad gave me. I poured just a little to taste— next thing I knew, the whole bottle was gone.” He chuckled at the memory as he filled both of your glasses about halfway.

“I bought a few more bottles when I went this summer. I hope you like it~” He smiled at you.

You figured this bottle was expensive, and you didn’t need to recognize the brand to understand that. Just as Jungkook described, one sip was all it took for you to understand precisely what he meant. It was probably the best wine you’d ever had; the sweetness danced nicely across your tongue before you couldn’t resist and had to swallow. You weren’t even that big of a wine drinker, but with this one, you could see yourself turning into one of those people who have a glass after coming home from work every day.

You seriously had to resist downing your drink because you were trying to hurriedly settle your nerves, but it was also that delicious. It was then that you both agreed not to go overboard. You were here to work after all, and you both still had to get home one way or another. One glass, two at most.

As the tension eased slightly, you opened your laptop, Jungkook turned back to his computer, and finally you both got to work.

Most of the time, it went as planned. You were able to fly through work relatively smoothly. You hated to admit that you two worked pretty well together. Your flow was like a perfect machine, two functions working independently, but eventually coming together to create the final product. Sometimes, you’d both be sitting in silence as the candles flickered around you, typing away at the keys, but then you’d always reconvene and spend most of the time talking about ideas, plans for next year’s Q1, and making the last bit of confirmations needed for the end of Q4.

As you both approached the end of the workload, you started to slow down, the last little bit is the hardest to finish as they say.

The whole evening was peaceful. It wasn’t anything at all like the second shift you’d pictured. Jungkook was… pretty chill. You sipped wine, and lightly chatted about work. How could this be the same guy you hated since your first day here? How the hell was he the guy who had rumors about people going into his office only to come out crying?

It didn’t make any sense, and suddenly you found yourself upset at whoever spread that nasty rumor. Jungkook, with his sparkling eyes, looked like he couldn’t even hurt a fly, how did that even become a thing?

Then again, it’s not like you were any better… you were practically president of the Jungkook hate club before your promotion. You found yourself tempted to ask him why things had been so weird between you, if it really was all about the coffee you spilled on him, or if there was something else you did that you were entirely unaware of.

Your thoughts were interrupted all of a sudden when you heard ruffling. You looked over to find Jungkook taking off his suit jacket.

Oh?

•────•──────────•────•

He hadn’t thought much about it.

It was a little stuffy in his office, so he finally had to take his jacket off, roll up the sleeves of his white button-up, and undo just one more button. He didn’t even think you’d notice, but then he felt your gaze bearing down on him with enough weight to make him turn to face you.

Jungkook met your eyes briefly, and he had to take a second to recollect himself after seeing the way you were staring at him. Your eyes were dark and hooded, and you had the pen you had been twirling around your fingers teased between your lips. His mind was in all the wrong places. He knew that was his fault— but the longer he looked at you, the more his body burned with a horrible need. You looked so pretty; the city’s bright lights framed you nicely, and the faint candle glow made you look ethereal.

“I didn’t know you had tattoos?” You used the pen you were holding to point at his arm. It finally dawned on him that that’s what you were looking at. He suddenly felt his cheeks grow warm, both embarrassed that he let his mind go there, and that you noticed something he’d been wanting to hide.

“Oh yeah… right, I sometimes forget they’re there.” Jungkook chuckled, trying to calm himself down.

“When did you get them?” You asked, leaning a little closer to see them a bit better.

“Four— five years ago? I think I got them all during my last year of college.”

“Really?” He couldn’t help but notice the shock in your voice. “How did I never notice?”

“It’s not like I have too many. I originally planned to do a whole sleeve, but then I got busy, married, and overall things just changed. Unless I wear short sleeves, you can’t really see them.” Jungkook explained, his smile fading the longer he spoke.

“Does your wife not like tattoos?” You pondered, and he tried to ignore the weird feeling he got from hearing you mention her.

“They’re not her favorite.” Jungkook was putting that a little nicely.

It wasn’t even like it was a big secret that he had tattoos before they got married. On their second date, Jungkook had to rush to meet Yuri after an appointment; his arm was still wrapped up and everything. This turned out to be the last tattoo he’d end up getting— the floral pattern he had on his elbow.

Jungkook got so busy afterward dealing with the end of the semester and his job at Golden Tech, that he never could find the time for any more appointments before he got married. He planned to finish what he started when he got back from their honeymoon, he even had an appointment booked. But while they were lounging at the pool at their resort, basking under the sun in the Maldives, this one guy who had both arms done walked by. Jungkook had eagerly mentioned how cool they looked, but Yuri grimaced and said they weren’t really her thing.

At the time, she’d tried to recover and say she didn’t mind the couple that he'd managed to get, but Jungkook got the message; that was all she could tolerate.

Truthfully, she didn’t like them at all, and Yuri made sure he knew. In the heat of an argument, she’d called his tattoos ridiculous, silly, and even childish. Jungkook didn’t even fight back because he couldn’t deny that they didn’t look right. He’d planned to fill the space more when he got more time. The ones he had managed to brave before getting married individually he still thought were pretty cool, but all together, they were weirdly placed, spaced out, and generally just looked awkward since he never got to finish what he had planned.

He couldn’t say he liked them as much anymore.

Jungkook had thought about getting them removed a couple of times; he’d even made an appointment once, but ultimately never followed through with it. He didn’t know if it was because of the pain he dreaded or the fact that when he tried to picture his arm bare again, he almost had a full-on breakdown. So he decided to keep them. They were his ridiculous, silly, and maybe even childish history.

Instead, he tried to be content with the fact his sleeve wouldn’t get finished, and just reminisced whenever he looked down at his right arm about the time when the thought of turning his body into a canvas was more than alluring.

He wanted to make Yuri happy.

“I think they’re pretty.” You suddenly mentioned, and one compliment was enough to make him feel funny all over. “Maybe you might change your mind one day about finishing it.” You continued.

Jungkook just stared at you as you spoke, his face felt like it was on fire. “I—I don’t know—“

“I’m sure your wife would grow to love them!” You exclaimed, turning your attention to the photo he kept on his desk. You leaned a little closer looking at his big smile as she kissed his cheek. They seemed so happy.

Jungkook noticed your gaze on the picture, and he couldn’t help but feel his heart ache at the sight. Something about it felt so wrong, almost like the two biggest problems in his life were coming face to face.

“How did you two meet?” You suddenly asked, breaking him out of his thoughts. At first, he was a little confused about who you were talking about, but in one of your hands was the picture you were looking at.

“Um— our parents introduced us to each other.”

You cooed and turned to look at the picture, then back at Jungkook, and then back at the picture again.

“You found love so early. We’re nearly the same age, right? It’s crazy to imagine being married right now.” You chuckled at the thought.

Jungkook stared at the candle in front of him as he soaked up your words. You were right; you would never see someone in this day and age married at twenty-six, at least not here. All of his friends from college were posting about going to the latest clubs. Not a single proposal announcement had crossed his timeline, yet he was about to celebrate his fourth anniversary in only a few months.

It really was crazy.

When Jungkook didn’t say anything, you took it upon yourself to fill in the silence. “Were you just so in love that you couldn’t wait?” You questioned dreamily as you batted your eyelashes. You watched as Jungkook continued to stare at the candle that sat between you, seemingly lost in thought.

“Jungkook?” You questioned.

“I heard you… it’s just… I mean, yes, we were, it’s just—”

“...trouble in paradise?” You asked hesitantly, worrying you were starting to pry too much.

Jungkook didn’t say anything for a while, his heart pounding at how easily you seemed to notice. “You could say that.” He chuckled, his voice was soft, you barely heard him.

“Don’t worry. Every couple goes through difficulties, I’m sure you both will make it through this.” You tried to bring the mood back up, sensing you must have hit a touchy subject.

Jungkook resisted the urge to say it was all his fault, that he was the bomb in their relationship— the one who was wreaking havoc and causing the mass destruction. It was all him.

“You guys look so happy here. When did you take this?” You pointed back to the picture on his desk.

“That was our honeymoon.” His voice was slightly pained, as he thought back to a time when everything was still so promising; when he still seemed promising. You didn’t seem to notice, though.

“Where did you guys go? The background looks so pretty.” You pointed out the sparkling water that sat behind them. It was the clearest blue you’d ever seen.

“The Maldives.” He answered, and your eyes widened. You instantly felt a little jealous.

“If you ever have a business trip that takes you back to some beautiful island, you should take me with you. I could even try to squeeze into your suitcase if you’ll let me.” This finally got Jungkook to laugh.

“I’m serious— I’m sure I could fit inside!” You were already working out your plan in your head on how you’d somehow make the journey. He laughed even harder, like it was the funniest thing in the world. You quickly settled on the fact you liked it when Jungkook laughed, it was cute, this was the first time you heard it go beyond just a simple chuckle. It didn’t match him at all, but at the same time, it did. It was a distinct sound that made you unable to stop yourself from joining in, because you would have never guessed that was his laugh, but you found it oddly… endearing? It felt very Jungkook, even though you weren’t sure what that really meant yet.

You decided to keep the joke going because you wanted to hear him laugh more. You told him you were sure you could somehow do it; if anyone could figure out how to travel by suitcase from Korea all the way to The Maldives, it would be you.

“What! I’ve never even left the country before, and I want to travel so badly. You seriously have to bring me on your next business trip!” You were both joking and incredibly serious at the same time. You had always wanted to travel.

Jungkook sensed this and calmed down a little. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Your eyes widened. “Is this a promise I’m hearing, Director Jeon?” Your excitement made Jungkook feel strange— fluttery almost.

“Promise.” He smiled at you. You beamed and held out your pinkie. Jungkook looked down and then back up at your eyes, a little confused.

You got the message and grabbed his wrist so you could lock pinkies. You took it a step further, and your hand so your thumbs touched. “Look, it’s official now~”

Jungkook stared down at your interwoven hands, his heart nearly beating out of his chest at all the thoughts racing through his head. The clearest one being the feeling of your hand in his— so small, warm, and the urge to pull you into his arms was dangerous. He remembered his dream from this morning, that stupid fucking dream he had of fucking you on that meeting table. What would your hands feel like elsewhere? He wanted to touch you too. He was aware of how alone you both were in the building; no one was in the office, no one would barge in and see if you—

But then he was brought back to reality, and suddenly it was painfully hot in this room. Jungkook quickly let go of your hand as his face continued to warm.

“You ok?” Your red lips formed the words, but he had a hard time listening.

That cold shower didn’t help at all. If he took another one once he got back home, he knew that wouldn’t be enough. At this point, Jungkook doubted that if he sat in a bath of ice water for an hour it would be enough to calm the way his body burned and pleaded for help.

If he tried once again and begged Yuri, would she say yes? The idea was laughable, considering the stunt he pulled this morning. He was pathetic; why would she help him?

“Jungkook?” You tried calling out to him once again after seeing him get lost in thought.

That was finally enough to get him to snap out of it.

“I–I’m so sorry. I’m fine, you’re fine.” He tried his best to laugh it off. Jungkook couldn’t even look at you as he spoke.

“Was it the promise? I’m sorry if that was inappropriate. I know you’re married. I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable…” You trailed off worriedly.

“Don’t worry, I promise! I just got a lot on my mind.” You, he had a whole lot of you in his head.

You still looked at him with concern, but you hoped you didn’t make things weird… or rather, weirder than they already were. You tried to get back to work once again, but it was hard to make any progress after what happened.

You battled the thoughts clouding your mind.

What was even happening? Maybe the wine was stronger than you thought, or you had suddenly become a lightweight, the possibility making more sense than understanding just how much you weren’t thinking straight anymore. That had to be it, right?

Your face grew more flushed as you stared at your computer trying to comprehend what just occurred. Was that weird? It was just supposed to be a cute promise. You didn’t think that was crossing a line, but the way he looked at you…

Your whole body shivered at the thought and where your mind led you. You had to get it together.

•────•──────────•────•

This was bad.

His wandering mind had led him down a dangerous path that he was desperately trying to save himself from. The only thing Jungkook could think about while he tried to focus on the spreadsheets in front of him was you who was sitting next to him: your hand in his, your red lips you’d occasionally pull between your teeth as you concentrated on your work, and your skirt that he swore got shorter each time he glanced over at you. But then his mind drifted to his wife, Yuri.

He missed her. Was there any chance she’d be back at their place, ready willing to help him fix this? Clothes nowhere in sight, her legs spread, just waiting for him to come home and—

If he was just better…

It only made him think back to their honeymoon, when she still had hope in him.

Things had been a bit awkward at first, but as they partook in more activities around the island, they started loosening up. The pleasant moments eventually led them to the hot tub right outside their room.

They had a beautiful view of the Indian Ocean, the sun was just starting to go under the horizon, and the sky was lit up beautifully with a symphony of vibrant colors that had painted the water below. It was breathtaking.

It was Yuri’s idea for them to get in the hot tub that overlooked the sight to finally get the chance to just sit and talk. They did, that evening had been so magical as they spoke with each other about their lives and even spilled a lot of personal thoughts and fears, all while they sipped a bottle of amazing champagne. The awkwardness finally seemed to dissipate, and it was just the two of them getting to know each other after the chaos of the wedding. The moment had made his heart feel so warm, knowing that they were in a place where they could open up to each other.

Jungkook didn’t know how it happened. Maybe Yuri had started to feel the same sparks flying in the air that he did. He was just so happy and in the moment, he didn’t remember how things got to that point, but suddenly she was crawling into his lap and kissing him.

Things escalated very quickly after that. One moment Jungkook was kissing her sweetly, just happy to be having an intimate moment with his wife, but things changed before he could even process what was going on. The pace all of a sudden started picking up, her hands were running across his burning skin, her lips hastily moving against his. Then he was throwing her red bikini top off, and suddenly they were rushing out the hot tub back inside to the bed. It was there where they fucked with their bathing suits still clinging to their bodies— He thought it was romantic, the type of sex he had only dreamed of, so passionate and lost in the moment that no one could even find time to take off their clothes.

If he got an opportunity like that again with Yuri...

…

He wanted to ruin her.

He tried his best not to get emotional again. Not with you here. He didn’t want you to know how pathetic he was, how disgusting his thoughts were— because, with you he wanted to do worse. With you, he entertained the deepest, darkest desires he’d tried his best to keep buried for the sake of his relationship. But when it came to you—

Jungkook looked over in your direction, your red lips, short skirt, and long legs… he didn’t want to just ruin you, he wanted to absolutely destroy you. At least that’s what he felt would happen— this horrible desire to have you, when he had someone to go home to, was a breeding ground for his imagination to run wild. You were a fantasy, a fantasy that should be burned in the hottest flames imaginable.

It was just so fucking wrong, and the more he looked at you, the more his blood boiled. Why did you have to work here? Why were you so pretty? Why did he have to want you so badly? Why did he have to be married? Why did his brother have to leave? Why couldn’t he be a better husband so Yuri would want him and this whole situation could have been avoided?

In another world, he could have dreaded needing to stay with you after work. His wife could have been sitting back at home waiting for him, missing him. If he was just better, Yuri would have texted him throughout the day. It would have been about random stuff she wanted to tell him, and when she would have made it home, she would have sent him something cheesy like the apartment feels so empty without you here ㅠㅠ. He would have apologized, but fawned every time she’d text him because she was so cute. He’d respond each time and reassure her that he would be home as soon as he could.

But unfortunately, the reality was everything but that. He was the fucking problem. He could have had it all if he was better… he was always the fucking problem.

Instead, he was here with you, trying his best to ignore the way his pants were starting to feel tighter because he couldn’t get it together. He was thinking about those three buttons undone on that white button-up you have tucked into that short fucking skirt— so close to seeing more, how easy it would be to undo one more if you’d let him. That dream too— right there on the meeting table. Sitting here at his desk, it was so easy to imagine you sprawled right on top, waiting for him to touch you. You would look so pretty, and he would do anything you asked. He just wanted to make you feel good, to make someone feel good—

“Shit—“ It left his lips before he could stop it as he lifted his hips subtly, desperately wishing to meet something. That’s when you finally turned back to him, noticing how flushed he was.

“Sir, are you sure you’re ok?” You asked, concerned at the way he jumped at your voice. The candlelight was enough to show the pink dusting his cheeks.

To be honest, he’d nearly forgotten you were actually in the room with him.

“Uhh— I’m just a little warm is all…” He tried to play it off.

You awed and started to fan him lightly with your hands, hoping that would help.

It didn’t, but he smiled at the gesture nonetheless.

Looking around the room, you noticed the fan that was sitting in the corner. You quickly stood up and went to grab it, hoping that would help him cool down.

As soon as you got up, Jungkook let out a sigh of relief and rolled over to the minifridge that sat beside him. Past all the alcohol were a few water bottles he mainly kept as a means of sobering up, or to put a dent in the iron wall of a hangover he’d often wake up with.

He grabbed one, and hurriedly opened it up and chugged it down, hoping it would help him relax.

You were supposed to chase a drink down with water, the tip saving him so many times when he was in college, but lately, he never remembered. Most times, all he cared about was silencing the thoughts that had grown so loud at this point it was almost deafening; it would always make his head hurt, and his heart ache. These days he could care less about the consequences whenever he’d be reaching into his fridge and pulling out a drink. No matter how bad the aftermath was, it was never more painful than how he felt sober. But today, Jungkook wasn’t drunk, not even tipsy. You were enough to occupy his mind, you and the image of you naked on his desk. While it did pose a great problem, it was enough to ignore the biggest one temporarily.

You were back soon after and set the fan in between you both. You were a little shocked to see the candles illuminate the sheen across his skin— you didn’t think it was that hot in here.

“Sir, are you—“

Jungkook set down his water and shook his head. “You don’t need to call me that— please don’t call me that, especially when we’re alone.”

You stood there, a little confused.

“We’re the same age right— I don’t know, every time you call me sir it feels like I aged 50 years all of a sudden. Please just call me Jungkook.” He laughed. It was true, it was always weird anytime you’d call him sir, but he needed any distraction he could get so he could finish his work.

“Are you sure?” You questioned, a little surprised he didn’t want to keep the honorifics in place.

Jungkook nodded.

You smiled. This was progress.

“Alright… Jungkook, how’s that?” You asked as you plugged in the fan. It instantly came to life and the blades quickly picked up enough speed to have a cool breeze blowing in between you both.

Jungkook tried to ignore the way he flushed at the fact that he instantly knew how much he liked hearing his name come out of your mouth.

“Better, thank you so much.” He was lying straight through his teeth. It really didn’t do much. Jungkook doubted even a staycation to Alaska could solve his issues, but his heart still warmed at the gesture. You were always so sweet.

•────•──────────•────•

You sat back down on your chair and took another sip from your wine glass. It was almost empty at this point. You had kept drinking as your mind continued to travel back to Jungkook, his newfound tattoos, that extra button he undid— two now it seems, that bottle of wine you were sharing, but most of all, you were questioning where you stood.

You had been debating whether to ask him if he likes you or not. This was probably the worst time to ask, but the dim candlelight and just how… nice, things for the most part have been tonight made you want to get to the bottom of it.

But Jungkook was quicker at filling the silence.

“Y/n, if you don’t mind me asking, why’d you start working at Golden Tech?” His voice was so gentle, sitting right above the sounds of the crackling candles.

The question had you stunned for a second, not at all expecting it, nor did you immediately have an answer.

“I don’t know, why does anyone start working anywhere?” You laughed, but realized who you were speaking to. Maybe not the best joke. You quickly cleared your throat. “But Golden Tech is a really good company— I heard a lot about it when I was still in college about how well they treat their employees. It aligned well with many of my ambitions, so once I finished grad school I thought I’d apply and see what would happen.”

It was still crazy that you were sitting with the CEO’s son. A few years ago you thought maybe you were being a little too ambitious with trying to aim for Golden Tech, yet not even two years later, you got the job, and you were already the Associate Director of the Seoul division’s financial team. Who knows where you might be in another two years?

“Do you regret your decision? Honestly, I think you could have gotten a notable position at Samsung if you had applied.” Jungkook wondered.

You laughed at his comment. “Me? At Samsung? Never in a million years would that happen. I thought I was being too ambitious by applying here!” You giggled, the entire idea oddly amusing.

“I don’t think it’s ambitious at all; you would have done well there,” Jungkook said quite seriously. He wasn’t used to this side of you. You were normally so confident, it was strange seeing you doubt yourself.

“Yah, is this your way of trying to get me to leave?” You were teasing slightly, but you weren’t prepared for the panic to appear all over his face.

“No— no— never! I just— you’re amazing— I was just saying that—” If he weren’t so flustered, you would have probably heard the part where he mentioned you were amazing.

“I know what you meant~” You chuckled lightly, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. You saw this wave of relief wash over him, more than you expected, considering this was the guy who you feared didn’t like you.

Silence went on for a moment until Jungkook spoke up again. “You never answered my question, though. Do you regret coming here?”

You thought about it for a second, before shaking your head. “Things have been kinda hectic, but I expected it; I mean, it’s a big company, I figured it wouldn’t be easy.” You decided to put it simply. Saying you did initially regret it to your boss probably wasn’t the best idea.

You thought that was the end of that, but when you finally turned back to Jungkook, you saw this weird somber gaze beginning to settle on his features.

“I’ve been overworking everyone too much, haven’t I?” Jungkook suddenly said after your words finally settled in the air.

You couldn’t hide the look of confusion on your face as you turned to him. His eyes were staring at the blinding computer screen before him, but you knew he wasn’t paying attention.

“What do you mean? Quarter fours are always busy—”

“That’s not what I mean… I know what they say sometimes. Everyone always speaks so highly of my dad, and he’s done so much for the company as CEO. The way things have gone so far makes me doubt I can meet their expectations when I take over…” That was an understatement. He couldn’t even make one woman happy.

“The team I manage is already suffering.” He fretted.

You found yourself at a bit of a loss on what to say. Where was this coming from? You were just joking a second ago but now… that look in his eyes. As he spoke, they grew more weary, tired, and sad. It was that same look you saw when you spilled coffee all over him on your first day here, it was the same look you saw earlier on the roof.

It was a peek into what was running through his head as he looked at you with those sad eyes. If you needed a bigger sign that something was seriously wrong, he couldn’t have given you a more obvious one. What made it even more concerning was that you didn’t know how big of a crack this was. What more could be lying behind those sad eyes?

“Jungkook, people understand you have a lot on your shoulders, it’s alright.” You tried to reassure, but you doubted he heard you. For a second, as he continued to stare down the spreadsheet he had up, you swore you saw his eyes get shiny.

“Ahh— sorry, this sometimes happens when I drink.” Jungkook finally snapped out of it, and hurriedly reached for his wine glass.

You watched concerningly as he chugged down the rest of the clear wine all in one go.

“What happened to sipping lightly?” You tried to remind him jokingly about what he said as he poured your glasses earlier.

The wine glass clinked against the desk as he set it down.

“I’m fine— I’m making things weird. Tell me about yourself instead? Anything interesting happening in your life?” You could tell he was quickly trying to change the subject. You debated probing further, but you figured maybe a distraction might be what’s best to get him out of his train of thought.

“I was promoted not too long ago.” You smiled, and he actually laughed. It felt good seeing him smile again.

“I’m serious! You’ve nearly been here for two years, but I feel like this is the first time we’ve ever actually just talked.” Jungkook pointed out.

“I don’t think it’s normal to just walk up to your boss and talk about the weather or something.” You pointed out, but again it made your mind travel to the elephant in the room. Despite everything, had this entire time he wanted to be friendly with you?

“I wouldn’t mind—“ He said it like he was serious, but sensing the sarcasm, you lightly swatted his shoulder— it was out of habit, but you regretted it immediately as soon as it happened.

Jungkook looked shocked for a second, before he smiled, that same smile that would make his eyes crinkle. “Exactly what I was saying, especially when we’re alone like this; treat me like we’re just coworkers.”

“Sir— Jungkook, I’m so sorry.” You felt like you were caught doing the worst crime imaginable— similar to how you felt after discovering you spilled coffee on the CEO’s son on your first day.

“Don’t worry, I really don’t—”

“I’m so so so sorry!” You panicked. Even though you really didn’t hit him hard, this might warrant him to hate you for an actual reason besides an accident.

Jungkook softly grabbed your shoulders to get you to calm down.

“Y/n, I told you it’s ok, really—” He suddenly stopped in his tracks because it seemed he realized how close in proximity you both had become now. Your chairs were a lot closer than you remembered and Jungkook pulling you a bit had somehow created a space between you that only had to be a few centimeters at most. From here, you could see the cute little scar he had on his left cheek.

He was staring directly into your eyes and you were staring back into his. Both of you seemingly shocked at the position you were in and stuck in place. It reminded you of what happened on the roof earlier, another precarious position, but as the seconds ticked by, you could have sworn his eyes darted down to your lips. Time seemed to slow down as you felt the gentle caress of his thumb on your shoulder, and… for a split second, you saw him bite down on his lower lip, only lightly teasing the flesh between his teeth— maybe it was the embarrassment, but it was so, so subtle, before you thought he started to lean a little closer. For a moment, you thought he was about to kiss you.

As quickly as that second came, he suddenly let go of you and tried to smile. “Uh— It seriously wasn’t a big deal. Don’t worry about it.”

The moment of normalcy made you snap out of it. You honestly would have believed you blacked out for a second, but the way your face kept getting warmer was a sign something must have happened.

As you turned away from him, you were greeted once again with the picture of him and his wife on their honeymoon. Right, he was married, you definitely imagined that.

Things grew awkward again as the silence settled into the room. You reached for your wine, wishing now it was a little stronger.

…

Saving the day from the growing discomfort being in this room was your phone buzzing on the desk. You sighed and set your glass down before you reached for it, not really thinking too much of it until you opened it to see a message from Solmi.

You eagerly unlocked your phone, already having a feeling about what it was. Your smile erupted when you clicked on the picture she sent you.

It was blurry, but you saw Solmi had quickly snapped a picture of her and Taehyung, who you heard earlier had decided to join her since you couldn’t make it. He had already been contemplating joining you both, but the fact that you definitely weren’t going with her, made him feel like he had to “be the responsible person there.”

You had laughed at that considering they both were a handful, especially when alcohol was involved, but Taehyung could be worse if he got enough in his system. They matched each other’s energies so well, they had a sibling-like connection you had always found cute. Solmi was a year younger than you, and ever since she first introduced herself to your team when you used to be a manager, Taehyung had always taken on this big brother role to her, and it only got stronger as you all got closer to each other. Their bond created moments like this, Tae somehow getting dragged out to parties on a Tuesday.

He’d left work a little early to go look for a last-minute costume, and you couldn’t help but laugh seeing what he’d somehow managed to get together. He was dressed as Mario— he had the hat, mustache, and you could just barely see the red shirt and straps that suggested he’d even managed to get overalls. Solmi was smiling beside him, and she had gone for another classic. She had already shown you a picture of her costume a few weeks ago, but she had thrown on some cat ears, drawn on a few whiskers, and you could also see a hint of the leather bodysuit she had on.

It was a few seconds later that you got another text.

Sweet Baby Solmi [11:48pm]: you should be here >:O

Followed by more pictures and even some videos. Then additional texts came at the end of the spam.

Sweet Baby Solmi [11:52pm]: taehyung’s drunk and keeps whining that he misses you 🙄

Sweet Baby Solmi [11:52pm]: i miss you too friend 🥺

Sweet Baby Solmi [11:53pm]: tell director jeon we hate him for stealing you from us 😘

You couldn’t help but laugh at this one. However, out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Jungkook’s eyes on you again, so you quickly scrolled back up to look at the pictures she sent you earlier.

They were mainly the same, just a few different angles. It looked like Solmi kept clicking the button to get as many pictures as she could. There were some with them holding up glasses of beer and clinking them together. Solmi must have also gotten someone to take their picture because she sent you a full-body one where you could see their entire costumes. You could see a few more details you didn’t get to at first. Taehyung had on these thick white gloves and boots. Solmi had left her bodysuit unzipped a little extra than what they advertised in the picture she’d shown you. You knew her goal was to try and get laid tonight, you silently saluted her, hoping she could succeed. She had even decided to brave wearing high-heeled boots to add that extra level of sexy to her outfit. There were also some pictures that showed they had moved into whatever club or bar they ended up in, and were busy enjoying themselves on the dance floor.

You were so caught up in the sadness steadily filling your heart seeing your friends out having a great time while you were stuck at work, that you really forgot Jungkook was in the room with you. It was something you had gone through all your life, your friends out having fun and always needing to leave you behind… at least you could have been home enjoying yourself, but—

You scrolled back up and clicked on the first video she sent you. The sound of music filled the silence, and you were quickly greeted with Solmi’s smiling face as she danced along. She then brought the phone close.

“You should be here Y/n! You left me with this idiot—” She then turned the camera around to reveal Taehyung who was dancing intensely beside her. It took him a second to notice the camera, but then he smiled as she brought it close.

“Miss you Y/n!” He tried to say over the music before the video cut off.

Awwww… you missed them too. But your attention tore away from your phone when you suddenly noticed Jungkook leaning over.

“They’re at a club on a Tuesday?” He asked curiously.

You smiled. “Mmmm, someone’s nosy.” You chuckled and that immediately had Jungkook leaning back.

“I’m sorry, that was rude. I didn’t—” He quickly tried to defend, but you just laughed and leaned over yourself.

“You’re fine, look.” You held out your phone to him so he could see a little better. At first you contemplated showing your boss these pictures, but you figured there was no harm, they were honestly cute.

“It's Halloween?” He suddenly said, taking a better look to see they were dressed up.

“Yeah, did you forget?” You laughed, making him chuckle too.

“My memory is horrible these days.” Jungkook shied, running his hands through his hair.

“Understandable. Things have been really busy these days, it’s hard to keep track of what’s happening anymore.”

Jungkook nodded along as you spoke, but he couldn’t help but sigh. It felt like the world was moving without him, that he was just an observer in the background until moments like these where he was brought back down to realize time had in fact passed, and it was always more than expected. He could have sworn it was Chuseok just the other week.

“Solmi had wanted to go bar hopping after she heard about all the stuff that they’re doing in Itaewon this year. She wanted me to come, but I was busy, so Taehyung decided to tag along and make sure she doesn’t do anything too crazy.” You smiled as you scrolled through the pictures and videos, and you landed on a particularly funny one where Taehyung managed to find a random pole and Solmi captured him hanging and swinging around it.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was a special occasion. If I would’ve known, I could've worked on this by my—” But you stopped him.

“It’s fine, two people make the work go faster, and I had been contemplating going anyway. Who wants to go out on a Tuesday besides Solmi?” You cringed, in all likelihood you probably would have spent your evening cozied up under your blankets, enjoying any free time you could manage and catching up on sleep when you got too tired. “I know they’re going to be struggling trying to get to work tomorrow.” You laughed at your words and at another video where someone had joined Taehyung on the pole, a guy in one of those full-body suits people use for greenscreen stuff.

But despite your words, Jungkook’s silence told you he still was thinking about it.

“Jungkook, I promise it’s fine. The wine alone makes up for it.” You smiled. You were definitely going to brag to them that you were gifted expensive wine from the Jeon Jungkook. They probably wouldn’t believe it until they came over and saw the bottle. You also had plans to look it up afterward, check the price, and confirm your sneaking suspicion that this really would make up for it.

Another video. Without pressing play, you could see Taehyung had the phone. What was going on?

“Y/n, baby, I miss you so much. Solmi keeps trying to—” But the video cuts off before he could finish.

You laughed and kept going with a smile on your face. You didn’t even notice Jungkook’s eyes or the fact that you didn’t question the nickname.

Hmmm.

“Yah… I don’t think I could do this anymore.” You suddenly said, as more and more hectic documentation came from Solmi.

Jungkook turned to you a little confused about what you meant. You showed him your phone again and revealed the crowd Solmi and Taehyung had found themselves in in their latest pictures.

“Partying like this. I mean, I didn’t even do all this when I was in college, but now…” You laughed. “Maybe I’m just getting old.”

“I don’t think we’re old,” Jungkook interjected, making you laugh.

“Oooo, is this when Jeon Jungkook reveals that he actually enjoys going to parties?” The thought was hilarious for some reason. He didn't seem like the party type, at all. You couldn’t imagine him doing anything else but work.

“No— I just don’t think our age is a factor in us being able to go out and have fun at events like this…”

You hummed at his answer. “I don’t know, the older I get, the more staying home and doing absolutely nothing becomes more and more appealing.”

He laughed at that. “For me, that has nothing to do with getting older. But I somewhat see your point, college me was a very different person.”

Was he?

You peered at him. Now that the thought was in your head, trying to imagine college-aged Jungkook. Hmmm…

You turned around over to where Jungkook had hung up his degrees. You had seen them before, but being this close actually gave you the chance to really look at them.

You found yourself both shocked and not shocked at all to find out he graduated from SNU. It was the top university in the country, and of course the golden boy probably easily got accepted. No, that wasn't surprising, what was more interesting was the fact he didn’t have one but two bachelor's degrees, one in business and the other in computer science, you quickly read. It wasn’t the most outrageous thing to imagine because he was going to be the CEO of a tech company, but you knew that jaded perception you had of Jungkook still lingered because you couldn’t picture him actually managing to do all that work to get two very different degrees.

“Did you even have time to go to parties?” You couldn’t help but ask. For all you knew he paid his way to get these degrees, but the more you talked with him, the more you couldn’t picture him doing that.

Jungkook laughed as he leaned back in his chair. “No, but Jimin hyung made me get out sometimes.”

His words reminded you that Jimin had mentioned that he and Jungkook had gone to the same college. As it sunk in though, you found that information a little easier to digest. Jimin had always seemed really smart.

“Were you always the guy standing in the corner, brooding, clearly upset because his friend dragged him out of the house?” You giggled, and Jungkook joined in.

“You really think I’m that boring?” He laughed and you only just now realized how much closer you both were to each other once again as you looked into his sparkling eyes.

“You tell me.” You smirked.

He laughed again.

“Where did you go? Did you go to school in Seoul? I'm surprised we never ran into each other.” You suddenly heard Jungkook ask.

“Korea University.” You answered quickly, but then your face grew flushed. You should be confident; it was really a notable achievement and most people would be in awe anytime you mentioned it, but for some reason everything about Jungkook made you a little self-conscious.

“Ooo, so we were pretty much in the same boat then.” He said, and you looked at him with questioning eyes.

“Did you even have time to go to parties?” He chuckled, repeating your original question. You playfully rolled your eyes at that.

“I would make time, as much as I could, but I was often in situations like these where I’d be the one left behind so I could work.” You were proclaimed the most fun, non-fun person by your friend group in college.

“Were you the person in the corner?” His low voice had you feeling a little funny.

“Jungkook I’m a lot of things. I’ve been called a workaholic, understandable, but a wallflower is not one of them. You will find me on the dance floor at any given opportunity,” you boasted.

Jungkook laughed again, the pinkness to his cheeks making you fawn. “I would like to see that.”

Oh… you hated the way your body tingled at the thought of him watching you.

“Get me alone like this on a Friday or something, bring more wine like this one, and I’ll dance for you.” You smirked.

His eyes quickly glanced over you, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. “Noted.”

You nodded, but it was mainly to shake the thoughts running through your mind out of your head. Fuck, Jeon Jungkook.

“So you haven’t changed much then?” He inquired further.

You shook your head. “I’ve always been this way. I put work before anything else, but I try to make a little time for fun sometimes.” You smiled. You turned back to Jungkook who had rested his arm on his desk and his head in his hand, with this smile on his face you couldn’t quite recognize.

“How do you do it?” He said softly.

“What?” You laughed, but you were already getting choked up. He had no reason to look at you like that.

“I don’t know how to make time for anything else besides going home and to work. You’re amazing~” He chuckled nervously.

You were too busy however trained on the fact that he called you amazing. “A-Amazing?” You stumbled, your face was burned the more you thought about it.

Jungkook turned to you again when he realized what he had said. “It’s something I’ve always admired about you. You do so much, and you’re always so great with everyone here. Your meeting yesterday for example—” He gushed, and the more he spoke, the faster your heart started pounding in your chest.

“You did so well, and then there’s me. I’m supposed to be the head, yet—” Jungkook sighed and stopped himself knowing where this would go if he kept going. He didn’t want to ruin the moment.

You sighed before picking up your wine and motioning over to his empty glass. He chuckled lightly before picking it up and clinking it against your own. You took one for the team and took a sip for you both.

“Don’t sweat it too much. You’re not so bad yourself.” You smiled at him as you set the glass down.

He really wasn’t. He still got on your nerves sometimes, but the Jungkook you’ve gotten to know over the last few weeks was almost entirely different from what you expected before you came into your position. He was cute, in a way that made you want to pinch his cheeks, no… that completely wasn’t right. He was cute in a way that made it hard for you to tear your gaze away from him. He was hot if you were being honest, but you didn’t want to admit that, he was married, and you still hadn’t addressed the elephant in the room as to why he was always so weird with you.

As the candle flickered, you took a moment to admire him, and how his white button-up stretched across his toned body nicely. You’d been trying to be on your best behavior all night, forcing yourself not to peer too closely at the way it fitted across his arms, or how he undid that button, and you could only picture how nice his chest might look the way the buttons seemed to be struggling to keep all that contained. Then there were the newly found tattoos that decorated his arm. You’d always liked tattoos, and you never pictured a big-corpa guy like Jungkook to be tatted. It just made you wonder how many more you couldn’t see… His hands were nice, fingers enhanced with his pretty gold and silver jewelry. Then his face, you might have drank too much, it was only one glass, but you had always loved how he looked at you. He was handsome, his pretty eyes, nose, jawline, and lips that you knew his wife probably went crazy over. Jungkook was hot and maybe in a different timeline… In a different timeline… It was starting to make a little more sense why he was already married.

Jungkook’s face burned the longer your eyes peered over him. His brain was malfunctioning as he felt your gaze. It just made his already scrambled thoughts drift more to a place he knew they shouldn’t.

He wished he could kiss you.

Interrupting the moment was the sound of your phone buzzing on the desk again. You finally tore your eyes away again to look at your phone. Lo and behold, it was another text, however, it wasn't from Solmi this time; it was Taehyung.

You opened it and it was a video. You once again didn’t think too much about it as you clicked play.

“Y/n!” Taehyung had tried to yell over the music. It seemed he had made his way to a table and was taking a little break. “You should be here getting drunk with us.” He sighed.

“Solmi abandoned me for this random guy who came up to her while we were dancing.” You giggled at the pout on his face. “You should be here, I’m just going to be third-wheeling the rest of the night.” He sighed.

You laughed at that. Anytime you all have gone out together, you and Taehyung were usually left behind, while Solmi abandoned you both for her person of interest for the night. You always had fun together, making the most of the fact that a member of your friend group left you for some rando for the rest of the night.

“I miss youuuuuu. Fuck Jeon Jungkook for making you stay.” He whined, and you could tell the alcohol had really started to have an effect on him. You panicked, feeling Jungkook’s eyes burning into your phone.

Oh, this really was a bad idea.

“I might head home soon. We’ve been to I don’t know how many bars, and I’m drunk as shit. If I’m late or you don’t see me at work tomorrow, you know why. Anyway, I miss you and if I’m not there tomorrow, I’ll try and come over if you’re free.” You were hardly processing his words as Jungkook’s gaze burned into you.

“Byeeee…” He waved at the camera. “Solmi says bye too even though she’s not here. I’ll text you later.” The video then clicked off and you were left with the mortifying silence.

You worriedly glanced over at Jungkook. “I’m sorry, he didn’t mean it like—”

Jungkook weakly smiled at you. “It’s fine. I still feel bad for keeping you here.”

“And I told you it was fine.” You both smiled at each other, but you hurriedly reached for your wine once again, feeling that awkward silence return all too quickly.

“So, um… how are things going for you dating-wise?” Jungkook suddenly asked out of the blue.

You nearly spit out your wine. “What?!”

He suddenly looked panicked. “I just mean— well, I told you about my marriage, I don’t know, I thought— you know, I wondered how things were going for people my age who aren’t married. I mean— well, no, I was really curious about you too—“ He was rambling.

“Uh, it’s fine.” You were still flustered, but you understood what he was trying to say.

“Are you and Taehyung…?” Jungkook stopped himself, worrying he overstepped with the suggestion.

“Mmm, that’s what everyone around the office seems to think.” You sighed as you leaned back in your chair.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t—“

“Jungkook, do you think you can keep a secret?” You asked, before he could finish.

“Yeah, I guess so.” But that alone was enough to give Jungkook a bad feeling about your answer. The endearing nickname he heard from Taehyung in the video was pretty much the nail in the coffin. It’s not like it mattered. It wasn’t his business, he really didn’t know why he was asking. However, he couldn’t lie and say it hadn’t been on his mind for a while as he watched you from afar over the years. There had always been this suspicion that there had been more going on between you two than just being friends.

You waited a second, the suspense killing him even though he felt like he knew the answer already.

“We actually did date.” You answered bluntly.

The words seemed to linger in the air for a second. You watched as Jungkook’s eyes widened as he seemed to take that in.

“Really?” He sounded surprised, but there was a trembling in his voice that made it seem like the news of the century. The shock hadn’t been real, but he couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling that spread throughout his entire body as the words processed in his mind. So, he hadn’t been crazy. He suddenly had the very violent urge to throw up the lunch you had so kindly insisted for him to eat; that, or he could send you away and attempt to water down this feeling with anything he could find in his fridge.

You nodded.

“It was only for a few months, and we never really put a label on it at the time. It was dating in the most casual sense.”

Jungkook was too busy trying his best to ignore the way his heart squeezed, he didn’t even bother paying attention to your use of past tense.

“Again, it was only for a few months— we decided we were better off as friends than anything more at the end of it.”

Did you? Jungkook still saw the way Taehyung looked at you. He wondered how that conversation went. Was it you who made the decision and Taehyung just agreed? Maybe it was him, and Jungkook was wrong. He still didn’t like him.

“We didn’t tell anyone at work, not even Solmi officially; you know how office romances can go. Plus, we knew what people were saying, we didn’t want them to get excited and things didn't work out. But I guess we didn’t do a good job of hiding it.”

Turned out for the better.

“If it’s not too personal, can I ask what made you come to that conclusion?” He really was curious.

You looked around for a second, trying to find the words. “I don’t want to say too much; it’s mainly Taehyung’s business, and I don’t want to reveal anything he wouldn’t want me to, but Taehyung had a lot going on in his life when we started dating. Despite our connection, what he was going through made it hard for us to take things to the next level. It’s kinda hard to describe unless you’ve been in that situation. We had all the basics: we were attracted to each other, he was great company, and we really did mesh well. But the more we crossed into that territory, the more we realized something was missing at that time. It’s like we had all the right ingredients, but never the spark to actually turn it into anything.”

Jungkook didn’t really get the picture. What more did you need in a relationship? What was the “spark?”

He still nodded his head.

“When did this happen?”

“End of last year, slightly going into this one.” You recounted.

Again, that strange feeling of his heart tightening returned. He tried his best to ignore it. However, it wasn’t enough to stop him from asking his next question.

“Would you guys ever get back together? You mentioned he was going through something at the time… would you ever try again?” Jungkook felt his face flush as soon as the words left his mouth. This was probably way too personal.

You looked noticeably shocked by his question, but maybe you wrote it off as the wine making him a little loose, or perhaps a slightly awkward attempt to keep this conversation going. Part of you considered whether you wanted to answer this question or not, but there was no harm in it really.

“Um— I guess it’s not impossible. We ended things pretty open ended. Taehyung suggested that maybe we should try again when things finally got better for him, but it’s been months since then. We haven’t spoken about getting together, so I’m not sure. I just assumed he figured we’re better off as friends.” Your words trailed off at the end.

Jungkook was tempted to ask if you wanted to get back together, but he stopped himself, not really wanting to hear the answer. You probably already thought he was weird.

Some much-needed silence passed for a little while.

…

Jungkook shifted around in his chair awkwardly, desperately wanting to get the picture of you and Taehyung together out of his mind. He asked the first thing that he could think of, even though it really wasn’t much better.

“Anything else exciting in the romance department?”

“Not really. Taehyung was probably the most recent. Things have been kinda dry since.” Suddenly, you seemed flustered. “Wait! Not in that way! Well… you know what I mean, right?”

Now it was Jungkook’s turn to get warm, and he did a horrible job at brushing past the image you put in his head.

“Yeah— oh yeah, I know what you mean.” He spluttered, but he couldn’t stop himself from imagining being buried between your thighs. All of a sudden, his mind was back to that dream again and your pretty sounds as he slid through your warmth. Would you let him make you feel good? What he would give just for the chance to bring you some type of relief… All he wanted to do was make someone feel good.

But he was Jeon Jungkook. Even if he was in a position where he could, he doubted he would be able to do anything for you. Jeon Jungkook couldn’t do anything right. Nothing.

“What about you?” You suddenly asked to ease the tension in the air. “Has it always been your wife?” You were honestly expecting a sob story that would melt your heart as soon as it began, a nice transition to hopefully get away from the weirdness that had settled into the room.

“I guess you could say that— Yuri and I got married right after I graduated. Besides her, I never really dated anyone. I was so busy throughout high school trying to work on getting into a good college once it was decided I was going to be taking over the company— I thought I would wait and try the whole dating thing in college, but then I got there… things were even worse…” Jungkook trailed off.

“Until you met Yuri?” You piped in, wondering when she came into the story.

The mention of Yuri visibly shocked him. Right, because you and everyone else thought they met while in college— a silly suggestion by their parents that turned into a fiery romance that burned so hard they couldn’t wait to get married. If Jungkook were a better husband, that illusion would be so simple to keep up— it’d be so easy when speaking to people to forget about the contract that was signed along with their marriage license.

But Jungkook wasn’t a good husband, he was a husband who made his wife feel miserable just by being in his presence, no matter how hard he tried. He was always a failure.

“Jungkook?” You questioned when he wasn’t answering, seemingly lost in thought again.

“Oh yeah! Yeah, then Yuri came into my life. Things were hard, but you know what they say, the worst storms always bloom the best flowers afterward.” Jungkook was lying through his teeth, and he wondered if you could tell.

Going from college to being married was one shitstorm to the next, and it was all his fault. Everything was his fault.

He knew he must have looked strange at the way you continued to stare at him. But instead of pressing any further, you let the silence fill the air until you both finally got back to work.

Jungkook typed away on his keyboard, but steadily his mind continued to fill with thoughts that felt like bombs going off in his mind— loud and destructive, the ones he knew would end him one day.

If you weren’t here, he would have downed that wine bottle, maybe a couple of beers too to try and bring the eye of the storm closer. But nothing he did was ever enough. It was never enough, just like he would never be. He was so tired, so tired of every single day being the same. He wanted peace, he wanted a happy marriage, he wanted to be a confident boss who assured everyone that Golden Tech was being handed over to a capable person.

Will the storm ever be over? Would he ever get to see the sunshine again? He was so fed up, and so, so tired. It would be so much easier that way. Nothing was helping anymore, no matter how much he’d drink, no matter how much he’d tell himself to get better, to make things better, that everything wrong with his life was his fault— nothing ever changed, nothing ever helped.

In the middle of the sea with no land in sight, sometimes drowning was your only option. His limbs hurt, he was exhausted from swimming too long, he was so tired, he couldn’t keep his head above the water. The sea underneath him no longer seemed like an angry beast trying to pull him down with all its might, he didn’t want to fight against it anymore, he wanted to relax, to let it embrace him, let it comfort him in a way that no earthly distraction could ever grant him. He wanted peace.

Peace. The quiet. He wanted it, needed it, he—

“Jungkook, do you like me?” Once again, you were here to cut through the darkness. At first, he didn’t even register your question until you quickly tried to backtrack.

“That’s not what I meant— I… sorry I speak without thinking sometimes.” It seems like it happened all the time tonight, and that was all it took for Jungkook to remember he was here alone with you, and he wanted you bent over his desk.

Jungkook tried his best to ignore the way his cock pleaded for you and let you elaborate.

“I was nearly finished with my work, and I had wanted to ask you this before I left… this might be a bit inappropriate, but I thought that maybe since we’ve been pretty casual with each other you wouldn’t mind if I asked whether you hated me or not.” You worriedly peered over at him.

Jungkook just stared at you, a little confused, wondering where this was coming from. It was right before you were about to elaborate that he understood.

“Again, this might be out of line, but ever since my first day here, when I spilled coffee all over your suit, I’ve felt like I had a target on my back.” You were still trying to be professional, so you dumbed it down a little. If you said what you actually thought, you were sure you wouldn’t walk out of here with a job.

“I—I don’t hate you!” He rushed out.

He really didn’t, but you did piss him off, you still did. You pissed him off so much it didn’t make sense. It was confusing to him as well, but what happened with the coffee he knew was at the bottom of the list for his reasons— whatever they were.

“Are you sure? I mean, I’m not oblivious; I can see how you treat everyone else on the team versus how you treat me. It’s been like that since my first day.”

It wasn’t a good look.

“I don’t hate you.” He stated a little more firmly this time; he really didn’t. “I will admit we didn’t meet on the best day or under the best circumstances— that just made things awkward from the get-go. But I don’t hate you, Y/n.”

By the look on your face— you still weren’t buying it.

“It’s not you, it’s me, I’m sorry. I have a lot going on in my life, and it seems like you’re often on the receiving end of it. Maybe it was the coffee at first, but I can assure you it’s not because of that.” Jungkook was scrambling, and you were still listening to him.

You already felt a little bad asking him this. Jungkook had a lot going on in his life, that much was obvious. The fact he let you drop the honorifics and gifted you an expensive bottle of wine should be enough proof that he couldn’t possibly hate you.

Unless the clear liquid turned out to be poison, but the fact you were sharing the bottle assured you that shouldn’t be the case. If Jungkook really did hate you, he had a weird way of showing it. But still, even if he didn’t mind your company, he manifested it in the strangest way possible.

“You always complete your work so well too, I can understand that it might be frustrating to you.” Jungkook was still rambling, but that much was true. You were a great employee and someone he could always rely on to get the work done well and on time.

“I’m so sorry.” He finally just pleaded.

You were truly amazing. Everything that he wasn’t.

His anger and frustration were misplaced, he knew that, and it wasn’t fair to you. An actual good boss wouldn't take out his frustrations on his employees, no matter what was going on in his personal life.

It just goes to show how good of a person he is.

“Jungkook, it’s fine. I just wanted to be sure there wasn’t any bad blood between us, especially if we’re going to work a lot more closely from here on out—“ It was then when you finally turned back to him.

His breath had quickened slightly, he had leaned over his desk, and his hands had tangled into his hair. The long strands blocked his face, but you could tell something was wrong.

You reached a hand out and rested it on his forearm. The minute you did, he finally turned back to face you. Just like on the roof, you saw his eyes, and despite only having the city lights outside and the faint flicker of the candles, you could see the shininess.

It was terrifying, because you were close this time; you could perfectly see the despair that painted his features.

“I’m sorry, I’m fine— we’re almost done, let’s get through this, okay?” He quickly said, returning to typing on his keyboard.

“Jungkook—“ You tried, but he seemed adamant about finishing and getting the work done.

You sighed and followed his lead. You couldn’t ignore the guilt that coursed through your body. Once again, you missed the opportunity.

•────•──────────•────•

The bombs were back once again, and louder than ever it seemed. This happened every time his mind would wander in that direction, and it was almost impossible to turn it off once it started. With you here, it made his usual method of drinking until it stopped impossible unless he wanted to make a fool of himself in front of you. Instead, in order to ensure he wouldn’t lose it, he turned to the only thing he knew would drown the noise in his mind. You— you and that dream he had this morning.

His fingers were fast on the keyboard, but all he could picture as he stared at his screen was the fleeting memory of what it felt like to pound into you.

You on that meeting table, that purple blouse exposing your shoulders, your skirt around your waist, and in, out, in, out, his hips would move into your sopping heat. The drean was so fuzzy, and he hardly had a memory to draw from. It’s been ten months since he last had sex. Ten months of unbearable torture, much like what he experienced this morning.

He’s tried his best to be good to Yuri, assuring her that she was beautiful and telling her he wanted her now and always. Just last week, he had her clinging to their countertop as he was on his knees, pleasing her between her thighs.

It had nearly sent him over the edge untouched. Tears had filled his eyes because he was so sure he’d make another mistake, and the last thing he wanted to do was make her upset.

He had tried to plead then, but he was too eager and said she had enough for the night. A cold shower had barely stopped him from giving into such disgusting urges, just like earlier today. Now he feared next time he wouldn’t be strong enough.

If you weren’t right beside him, his hands would probably be in his pants right now. It was horrible, wasn’t it? He couldn’t be an adult and control himself. But that’s what the last ten months of his life had been like— Yuri testing him any chance she could, doing anything and everything to get under his skin.

Yuri loved to tease him. He loved it too, it was only in those moments when he felt wanted. Didn’t she see how much he wanted her?

As childish as it was, Jungkook wanted to blame her for all this. Why couldn’t she listen? He had told her he wanted a break, a break from anything sexual for a while once he had recovered from pneumonia. It would offer the chance for them to work on and prioritize their relationship— just as he’d discussed with Dr. Min. He begged her to listen, that he would put in the effort so they could spend more quality time together to fill the void. He promised, but that short time she listened was absolutely miserable.

Yuri would wear those tiny shorts more often, and did everything she possibly could to get under his skin. He’d even walked into their room one day to see her using her fingers to do his job. She had forced him to just sit and watch, because it was his dumb idea and he had to pay for it.

It’s just been so long…

You sitting next to him was enough to send him over the edge. You and your short skirt, long legs, and that red lipstick.

It’s been so long, he wished he could make his dream a reality; he wanted you bent over his desk right now, with your skirt pushed so far up he could watch your ass as he hurriedly pushed into you from behind. You would look so pretty, you always did.

He was desperate at this point, he needed something, anything…

He had to get out of here. Jungkook wished he could count on Yuri being at the apartment, that she would see what she'd done to him and all would be well again, but he knew she wouldn’t. It’s not like he deserved it either.

This was his rightful punishment.

The fact things were so bad, the thought of an affair crossing his mind was sufficient proof that he deserved everything that was happening to him.

Jungkook was hardly paying attention to what he was typing, too focused on trying to stop the tears that were quickly welling up in his eyes and ignoring the way his cock throbbed.

He was hard, painfully so— in public, and he was right next to you.

He felt it happen, budget numbers being replaced in his mind with despondency, and how in a haste to escape his darker thoughts, his brain tried to go somewhere a little more buoyant, and instead fixated on the lewdness of what you did to him. That need to feel you, just the thought of feeling you, touching you— for you to need him, he wanted so badly for someone to need him.

This was so embarrassing…

“Alright! I think I’m done on my side~” You celebrated, and it was horrible how when he looked over and saw your bright smile, it just made things worse.

He wanted you.

It was then that Jungkook realized he’d just been staring at his monitor for a while. It seems he’d been done as well.

You picked up immediately that something was still off in the look you gave him.

“Uh— uh yeah, me too. We can be done here for tonight. We can meet in the morning and review everything before the meeting later.” Jungkook rushed as he hurriedly shut his computer off.

He needed to get out of here.

He knew his haste shocked you a bit. With his monitor off, a newfound darkness had filled the room, and his speed hurried you to shut off your laptop as well.

Jungkook recorked the wine he was giving you before he tried to get up inconspicuously, turning away from you as much as he could. Even with the darkness in his office, he felt it would be hard to hide what his dirty mind had done to him.

He couldn’t let you see, he was already so ashamed.

If you saw this…

His eyes were watery as he shakily got up from his chair. This was so embarrassing…

After you turned your laptop off, you got up too, noticing Jungkook was trying to hurry this up. You didn’t blame him; it was already near one in the morning, but you could still sense something was wrong.

“Jungkook?” You called out as you rested a hand on his shoulder, completely stopping him in his tracks. His eyes glanced down at your hand and then back up at you. You weren’t prepared for the look in his eyes the longer you stared into them. You couldn’t exactly read it; it was similar to what you saw on the roof.

It made you hot in an instant as you got lost in his dark gaze. You knew you weren’t mistaken this time as you watched him scan over you. The candlelight flickered in between you, illuminating his shiny eyes and how obvious they settled on your lips. It just made you aware how nice his arm felt under your touch, and how alone you both were in the office. This was bad.

What were you doing?

“Is everything alright?” You questioned, your voice so meek you wanted to slap yourself. You needed to get it together.

This causedJungkook to snap out of it as well, finally tearing his eyes away from you. “I— um, I’m fine.” It didn’t sound confident at all, and you noticed.

You might have questioned it, but you knew you needed to get out of here.

“Si— Jungkook, I’ll be right back!” You hurried as you started wheeling the chair you stole from Secretary Yu’s desk out the room.

“Alright.” He said weakly as you quickly passed by.

As soon as the door closed behind you, the tears he had been holding back finally fell down his cheeks. This was just so embarrassing, it hurt so much. He just needed a minute or two alone, that’s all, and he could ease the ache. But that also means giving in, disappointing Yuri more than he already has.

Jungkook quickly wiped his face, scared you might come in any second now, and instead worked on blowing out the candles that were still burning around the room.

The darker it was, the less likely you’d see his shame.

Jungkook made quick work of blowing the candles out around the room, first going to the ones on the little tables, then he came back to where he had placed the most, on his desk.

As much as he wished this was a sufficient distraction, it wasn’t. He was still thinking about you and how much he wished you would be the one to help him, he would take anything at this point.

He was blowing out the last candle when he heard the door open again.

“Woah, you did a lot without me.” You remarked, seeing the room darkened by the candles being out already. And he was glad he worked so fast. One candle and he feared that would have been enough for you to notice what he was hiding.

It was disgusting how badly he wanted you.

“Y-yeah, I don’t want to keep you here later than necessary.” He stuttered and shakily turned around to face you.

Jungkook was nearly blown away seeing how gorgeous you were. The window bathed you in a beautiful glow that was only achievable by the moonlight. You were absolutely stunning, a goddess, a temptress pulling him in to commit the most horrible acts; and it was working.

Your heels steadily clicked as you walked, your red-stained lips that were turned up into a warm smile lured him even further into temptation, all the while your twinkling eyes peered over his quivering body.

He wanted you so badly…

The sweet perfume you were wearing just made the tears in his eyes grow even heavier, you smelled really good. He would do anything to relieve this ache. The desire was mind numbing at this point.

Jungkook hardly noticed both of your jackets and the scarf he’d worn were in your hands.

You handed him his jacket with a weak smile. It took him a minute to realize what you were doing, too busy staring into your shimmering orbs that would always have him choked up anytime he tried to speak to you.

“Jungkook?” You called out worriedly.

“U-uh I-I’m sorry.” He tried to laugh it off as he grabbed it, but he failed miserably, and it sounded more like a choked sob. He was hoping you’d brush it off as he quickly put on his black, fuzzy trench coat, but he knew it was too late in the way his vision grew blurry from tears. The dam had been broken and he just couldn’t stop it anymore.

You were still holding his scarf when he finally looked back up at you, and the look of concern in your face was unmistakable. You could see his despair.

“Jungkook…” Your voice was so soft and warm, like a flame lit in the dead of night. You reached up to drape the scarf across his shoulders, but your eyes were still locked into his, like you were staring right through his soul and could easily see everything.

Standing so close, you could see the pain hidden behind the starry way his eyes would shine, you could feel the hurt— they were just like Mi-Sun’s. Your hand lingered on his shoulders, before you finally found the confidence to reach your hand up and ever so gently cup his cheek.

Like on instinct, he couldn’t stop himself from nuzzling further into your warmth, a flicker of light in the frozen tundra he had become. It was an overwhelming affection he had never known, and while you may have just done it because of how pathetic he looked, it was something. He closed his eyes for a second, enjoying the taste of the haven he’d been craving for years.

“Jungkook, are you ok?” You finally asked earnestly because he genuinely looked like he was about to break.

Jimin had been the only person to ever ask him that. He thought he’d been doing well at hiding from everyone the storm that raged on in his mind, but hearing you could clearly see something was wrong…

It felt real, too real.

You looked so worried, and as he felt your hand on his cheek, he just broke down.

Jungkook shook his head as tears easily slipped past his eyes and trickled down your hand.

He wasn’t fine, he was the furthest from fine. Sometimes he wished the earth would swallow him whole so he wouldn’t have to wake up and feel like this every single day. He hadn’t been fine in years, and the weight of it all came crashing down at that very moment. He could tell you were about to question him further, but he didn’t give you the chance as his hand slowly came up and snaked around your waist to pull you close.

Jungkook didn’t know what he was doing, this was wrong on so many levels and went against everything he stood for, but in the moment he didn’t think, he just wanted to stop the pain.

That warmth, he needed you.

Jungkook pulled you so close, closer than you both stood earlier in the hallway on the roof, you could probably feel the shame he was trying to hide.

Time stood still for a second as he stared down at your red-stained lips, the bright color like a lighthouse for a desperate sailor in the middle of a storm. You were the refuge he needed, and right now, he didn’t care about the consequences, he just wanted you.

Jungkook leaned forward so he could rest his head in the crook of your neck and bathed in the sweet scent of your perfume. He was so worthless that even just that seemed to make the ache worse.

He felt your arms wrap around his waist and you pulled him a little closer. The movement was slight, but it created just enough friction for a soft, unmistakable moan to escape his lips.

You could certainly feel it now.

Jungkook felt like his skin was on fire, only moments away from boiling over, and you were the only one who could fix this.

He lifted his head slowly, his face still wet with the tears that continuously spilled from his sad eyes. The hand that had been on your waist quickly trailed up your side to settle on your jawline, his thumb so gently grazed across your cheek.

You were dangerously close, he’d never experienced a need to this degree. He needed you, he wanted you so badly he wasn’t thinking straight anymore.

“Please— I need— can we…” You probably could barely hear him, his voice hoarse from the strain and he was shaking so much.

But it seemed he didn’t need to elaborate; you knew what he wanted. Your hand came up from his waist to grab his shoulders to pull him closer, making his lips not even centimeters from yours.

Jungkook lost it. He couldn’t stop himself as he finally closed the distance. His lips were on yours in a haste, but he was slow and gentle as you both tried to process the fact this was happening.

His heart nearly leapt out of his chest as he tasted the sweetness of the wine you both drank only moments before. Your lips were so soft, pillowy, and inviting. He could feel the soft tickle of your breath beneath his nose, gently pulling you close, as you breathed each other in.

The world around him seemed to disappear at that moment. He forgot about Yuri, he forgot about his marriage, he forgot how shitty he’s been feeling, he forgot about the contract, he forgot who he was. Right now, he wasn’t the future CEO of the second-biggest tech provider in the country— he was just Jeon Jungkook.

Nothing else mattered in the moment. It was just you, him, and ten months' worth of bottled-up lust.

His touch was hesitant at first, like he was so sure any moment you might change your mind. He thought you would, he was sure you would, that you would realize what he was doing, and your appalled reaction would be enough to finally wake him up and make him register what he’d just done. His brain was shot, but he remembered what this was usually like, waiting for the moment when you would say something, yell, scream, complain that he wasn’t good enough. He didn’t think he was, but that just made him more desperate. He wanted to prove himself.

But you never stopped him as his hands steadily grew more fervent, tugging at your white button-up and traveling down your sides to grab and touch as much as he could, settling just above the curve of your ass. The kiss quickly grew more heated, from slow, sensual pecks, to you both were practically trying to eat each other, building the ever-growing heat that settled between you two. It wasn’t a slow flame that steadily spread, but an explosion of lust that violently consumed everything in its path.

Your hands grew curious, playing with the button-up he had tucked into his black slacks, and occasionally pressing down into the belt wrapped around his waist.

The sensation made Jungkook’s knees almost give out entirely. He fell back slightly onto his desk that sat behind him, breaking the kiss for just a second.

The moment was brief, but Jungkook used it as the perfect opportunity to finally let his hands slip under your skirt. He gripped your ass, enjoying the way the soft skin felt in his grasp way too much.

Fuck.

Jungkook didn’t know how it happened; all he could remember was hearing you gasp as he suddenly flipped you both around and had you pinned against his desk. He didn’t give you any time to process what was happening, because his lips were back on yours with even more ferocity. He just had to feel you.

It hurt so much.

Jungkook could hardly help you up, the kiss grew more intense, and all he heard was the sound of anything in the way being forcefully pushed back— some things clattering to the ground, your heels even falling off in the commotion. But he couldn’t care less, not with the way you were clinging onto him as desperately as he needed to feel you.

It was messy, so fucking messy as he kissed you with all the pent-up lust that’s been building since you walked into him with your coffee. Your teeth clinked together more often than not. Jungkook was kissing you so hard, at some point he was so sure he was going to actually climb inside you.

But it felt so good.

Your legs hastily came up to wrap around his waist, pulling his needy self to where he wanted to be so fucking badly. The moan he let out was embarrassing; it was more like a whimper in all honesty, but he couldn’t stop thinking about this morning and all the dreams he had of being in this exact position.

His hips eagerly chased yours, desperate, so fucking embarrassingly desperate for any type of friction.

Everything was happening so fast, and still, the tears didn’t stop pouring out of his eyes. It was so sad, Jungkook couldn’t even kiss you anymore. The moment his aching cock felt your clothed heat against his, kissing you proved impossible.

His mind felt like the most chaotic storm; he felt drunk not off the wine you shared, but of you, and he wanted so much more.

“Oh—“ You cried.

Just a few glides of his hips and he had you making such pretty sounds, even better than what he remembered from his dream. He only got greedier, and his pace increased too much.

He was going to cum.

“F-fuuu-uck” he tried to hold it back, but it just came out as something in between a moan and a sob.

“It’s ok…” Your voice was soft and gentle as you tried to get him to look at you again. His eyes were so pretty, you wanted to see them again.

“I need you so bad.” Jungkook cried into the crook of your neck.

It hurt so much. He wanted to cum, any longer, and he was sure this was going to turn into a horrible disaster. He was so tempted to keep going just like this, to rock into you until he came in his pants like he was sure to at any moment.

“You can— have me— it’s alright.” Your voice was so soothing, but hicked when his hips came to meet yours in a haste. Your hand came up to run through his long hair.

The affection was new, something he hadn’t experienced before, which made things so much worse.

It physically pained him to pull away, even for just a second, as he moved over and straddled your thigh— that wasn’t his intention, but your thigh was right there as he worked to change the position, and he needed to feel anything to ease the ache.

On instinct, your thigh raised up, and he could have cried— he was crying. He hadn’t stopped crying since you walked in— it just felt so good. His brain was scrambled, but he couldn’t— he wouldn’t allow himself to cum until he was inside you. He wanted to be selfish. He needed you.

Jungkook grabbed your chin so you would look up at him. He took a second to admire your delicate features; you were absolutely stunning, and he hated it. To drown out the agony, he kissed you lightly before moving to your cheek and he trailed down to your neck.

“Jungkook…” His name fell so prettily from your lips as your arm wrapped around his neck.

For a split second, Jungkook thought about Taehyung— he wondered if while you were together he got to see you like this, if you moaned his name so beautifully. It was only for a second, but it was enough to get him to suck a little harder on your skin, so that it would leave a mark.

He hoped it would.

“Don’t stop—” You whined.

Jungkook let his hand travel down your body, stopping when he felt the buttons of your shirt. He needed this shit off now.

Using what very little brain power he had left, he tried to focus on getting the buttons undone, but it proved to be an impossible task. He was only using one hand, and Jungkook was more than distracted with painting your neck and enjoying the subtle pleasure of rubbing himself along your thigh.

Frustrated, Jungkook did the only thing his horny brain could think of at that moment, and pulled the fabric until the buttons snapped. For a second, he hoped he didn’t break any of them, but the worry quickly went away as he noticed the newly exposed skin and the pretty black bra you were wearing. His hands were eager and massaged your mounds with need. He was almost hypnotized as the moonlight outside painted your body and the feel of your soft skin in his hands.

The ache just got worse when he heard the soft sighs of pleasure fall from your red-stained lips. It delighted him too much seeing how it was smeared across your face.

He hoped you weren’t too disappointed when he pulled away, but he hastily pulled up your skirt so it was bunched around your waist, just like it had been in his dream. The sight was even more bewitching than he imagined when he noticed what you were wearing.

Jungkook had too many fantasies where he would rip your stockings off to fuck you, but unlike what he’d pictured, you weren’t wearing stockings like he had expected, but the black sheer that covered your legs were thigh highs.

He just stared for a second because the wave of need that washed over him, didn’t make any sense at all.

He whimpered as the picture started to become clearer, the sheer fabric coming up your legs to the lacy ends, your skirt bunched around your waist, and the black panties he could now see covering your core. It was hot; you were so hot, and he wanted to ruin you.

Suddenly, you grabbed his hand that was resting on your thigh. He looked into your eyes and could see the concern behind your gaze.

“You’re shaking…” You whispered so gently.

Jungkook looked down at his hand, and indeed he was.

Why? He didn’t know, and he didn’t really care at that moment. Jungkook did what he wanted to for so long, instead of answering, he shut you up with a kiss. Sometimes, you really did talk too much. No more talking; he couldn’t even think straight anymore to form an actual sentence. Instead, he used what little brain power he had left and let his hand slide up your thigh to hover right over your panties.

Jungkook barely touched you, but you were already bucking into his hand, like you were just begging for more. The arm you had wrapped around his neck tightened to pull him closer.

“Jungkook, please, please touch me.” You looked him directly in the eyes as you broke the kiss.

He’d never heard those words before, and he knew from that point on that they should be illegal in how much they affected him. He wanted to please you—

Jungkook didn’t waste anymore time, and let his fingers brush over your clothed heat. He nearly lost his mind feeling the fabric damp already.

Did he do that?

“Please…” You whined, and Jungkook nearly broke after seeing the look on your face seemingly growing more frustrated.

He loved it too much.

Jungkook pressed into you a little harder, the fabric growing wetter by the second, and he couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to feel you. You clung onto him tighter when he pushed your panties to the side, finally letting his fingers run through your soaked folds. You cried out, and he almost did too when your pretty whines grew more desperate.

His fingers stopped once they reached your clit, rubbing tiny circles across the bud. Jungkook’s heart nearly beat out of his chest at your reaction, the way you shook and moaned underneath him, and he reveled in your pleas for more.

It just made him more eager once his fingers came down to your pleading hole, slowly pushing the digits inside you.

The ache was unbearable now.

You cried out for him, it was his name that fell from your lips, and he couldn’t stop imagining it was his cock instead as he pushed in further.

He wished it was.

You felt so good, so warm, so tight, and he still couldn’t get over how wet you were. He could hear the slick sounds of his fingers as they pumped inside you, just imagining this was his cock alone could have made him cum.

And so could you, the suddenness of everything had your body on high alert, every new sensation, so unexpected you couldn’t keep up. It was all too much, his body on yours, his fingers inside of you, his pained whimpers as he steadily rubbed himself along your thigh.

Too much, yet you wanted more, you wanted so much more. You wanted to make him feel good too, so good that he wouldn’t hurt anymore.

“Jungkook, please.” You cried, pulling him close. You didn’t expect him to kiss you, but you relished in the sensation, enjoying the way his lips felt against yours. Even in that moment, you couldn’t stop focusing on how wet his cheeks were and the feeling of more tears trickling down onto you.

You wanted him to be ok.

Jungkook groaned into the kiss, pulling away slightly; he sped up his pace, enjoying the slick sounds of his fingers moving inside you and your pleading reaction way too much.

You cried and moaned so easily for him, like you both weren’t in his office right now, like you weren’t getting fingerfucked on his desk. It was dirty, and he hated how much he loved this.

“Does this feel good?” His raspy whisper right into your ear just made it all worse.

And it was all too much, he wanted to be inside you so badly, and he knew that if he waited any longer, he wouldn’t make it.

“Yes, yes— fuck, yes!” You answered, clinging onto him just a little tighter.

He was already so close. Pathetic, so fucking pathetic.

As much as he didn’t want to, Jungkook finally found the strength to pull his fingers out of you. What he would have given to see you fall apart on his fingers, but not when he felt like he was seconds away from combusting. He had to hurry this up.

You whined at how empty you felt all of a sudden and were about to question it, maybe even scream because you were getting so close, but the moment of clarity let you feel his shaky hand on your thigh as he sank to his knees.

You looked at him confused as to what he was doing, but it didn’t take long for you to get the picture as he started spreading your thighs once again.

You pulled on his hair lightly, making him look up at you with his big, bright, bewildered, round eyes. You felt your body light a blaze at the sight, so innocent in such a dirty position.

“No time. Want you inside me.” It was blunt, but the moment didn’t allow for anything more.

What you didn’t expect was for him to still seem confused.

“You— you don’t need me to—“ His voice was just as shaky as his hands were. He genuinely seemed confused.

“Just fuck me, please.” You whined, your hand coming down to rest under his chin. His eyes were red and watery, and you just hated it. You’d do anything to see him better.

Jungkook steadily rose to his feet once again, but that brief moment of pause was short-lived, as he was on you in a haste, lips on lips, needing, chasing, he had to feel you.

Jungkook had been so worried, so worried he’d disappoint you, he’d nearly burst into tears when he got on his knees knowing he couldn’t eat you out without making a mistake. Then you said it, just like Yuri did after she came back from that New Year’s party. You wanted him, needing him to make you feel good. “Just fuck me, please.” He’d never forget it, to the point it was replaying in his head even now, as he tried his best to make that one thing happen.

He just had to last a little longer.

Jungkook scrambled, trying to feel you, kiss you, and get his belt loose. It was all too much, why he ever decided to wear belts in the first place was beyond him at the moment. So little was in the way, he had your permission, and all that stood in between what he wanted were a few thin layers of fabric.

He desperately rubbed himself against you, needing the friction as he kissed you, fuck, why wasn’t he inside you yet?!

Then your hands eagerly raked across his back, trying to pull him close. Yuri had never done that to him, and it was too much, too much when he’s not inside you yet. Jungkook tried again to get his belt off, but he couldn’t think anymore and was growing more desperate by the second, your hands, fuck he was so close.

Tears spilled out of his eyes, so worried he was about to embarrass himself when he was so close, but then you swooped in to save the day.

You broke the kiss when you noticed he was struggling a bit, and decided to help.

He looked so pretty like this, the moonlight highlighting all of his delicate features, his eyes sparkling so sadly in the light. He looked sad, so sad that if you made one wrong move, he’d burst into tears. What could possibly be making him feel this way?

Your hands ran up his back, over his shoulders, and down to the buttons of his shirt. You didn’t miss the way he shivered, his eyes fluttered closed, and his grip on your thigh grew tighter as you went past his neck.

Your hands were a little shaky, but you managed to undo them all. As more was revealed, you hadn’t even considered the possibility of Jungkook being absolutely built. You had a feeling he worked out, but the sight of his firm chest, then his defined abs was one shock after another.

It was bad how much you needed him.

It was lucky you were so distracted that you entirely missed how red Jungkook’s face had become under your gaze. He was scared, scared of you seeing him like this and thinking he was just as pathetic as Yuri says. What if you hated—

With his shirt undone, you slowly ran your hands over his warm skin, covered in a thin layer of sweat. Down his nape, chest, abs, and then eventually settling on his belt.

Jungkook tried his best not to rut into you like some animal, but he had never been touched like this before, and he feared he was seconds away from exploding because of how good it felt.

Taking him out of his spiraling thoughts, you hurriedly tugged on his belt, finally getting it undone so you could unfasten his pants.

His eyes were watery once again, feeling your hands graze past the prominent outline in his slacks.

“P-Please!” He cried because it hurt so much, and he just wanted to feel you. His voice was hoarse, sounding more like a pained sob than anything coherent, but he needed anything at this point.

“Don’t worry, I got you.” You whispered right in his ear as you finally freed his aching length.

Jungkook didn’t know what he was expecting, just enough help so he could finally push himself inside you, but then you didn’t let go. It didn’t fully register until you stared directly into his watery eyes and started dragging your hand slowly up his length. Jungkook could have screamed, he really wanted to, and would have if his voice wasn’t so hoarse. Maybe he was and he didn’t even realize it.

As you reached the tip, you focused all your attention on massaging the head, wanting to get a reaction out of him. You were pleasantly surprised as your thumb ran over the tip, the amount of pre-cum that seemed to just leak onto your fingers…

“Oh god.” He groaned, his voice was so shaky as he writhed in your grasp. He quickly had to shut his eyes, the pleasure was too much.

“Does this feel good?” Your voice was gentle once again, and Jungkook felt like he was moments away from blowing it. A strangled moan he couldn’t hold back left his lips.

He couldn’t fully comprehend what was happening. Your hand was…? You were touching him? It was strange, horrible even, that for a moment he thought about Yuri, back in April when he practically begged her to touch him, just like this. He had begged her, but with you, he didn’t even need to ask.

It was awful, so fucking horrific, but your hand was too much to handle as you went from running your fingers over the tip to steadily pumping his cock. Jungkook immediately knew he should have said something; each glide of your hand sent him closer to an edge he was practically hanging off of already, but fuck. This was pathetic, absolutely pathetic.

Jungkook whined as he buried himself into your shoulder and pushed you further into the desk. It was on the tip of his tongue to say something, to stop you. It would have been so easy. He knew deep down he didn’t want to. He moaned as he subtly rocked his hips into your grasp, he thought of this morning, how easily Yuri stopped, and the thought of having that taken away again.

He should have said something, he didn’t need to see your face to know you weren’t expecting this to go as far as it did.

You’d only wanted to tease him a little before he finally filled you up, but maybe you should have realized how close he was. You certainly weren’t expecting his hoarse moans to grow louder and pained.

His grip on your thighs quickly tightened, and suddenly, with a very pained cry, you felt wetness across your fingers.

A colossal wave of pleasure hit him all at once with a strangled cry, a feeling he hadn’t felt after nearly a year. It was more than ecstasy, a high he never wanted to end, the most he’d felt in months. For a second, his life wasn’t a mess. He was happy, and everything was fine. It was overwhelming, and his knees nearly gave out entirely as you started gently pumping his length to help work his way through his high.

It was a terrible mix of the pleasure he’d craved for months, and the guilt of being the failure he knew he was. Months of waiting, and he couldn’t at least make it inside you. It was embarrassing, pathetic, and not to mention as the ropes continued to come with each flick of your wrist, deep down he knew he truly had made a loathsome mistake because it just wouldn’t stop.

But it felt so good, it seemed never ending as each glide from your hand brought more euphoria than his brain ever thought was possible to experience. Yet the searing guilt that simmered behind the pleasure made his mangled moans turn into sobs. He was bawling in your arms, his tears soaking the fabric of your shirt.

Your free hand gently rubbed his back to try and soothe him. He was shaking.

“I—I’m so sorry— so sorry.” Jungkook choked out. He clung to you a little tighter and buried himself further into your neck. He didn’t want to see the disappointed look on your face, he wouldn’t be able to bare it—

“Jungkook, it’s ok…” You tried to comfort him, feeling yourself getting a little emotional.

Your reassurance meant nothing, if anything it just made him more upset; he hated pity. This was a mistake, he was so disappointing, that’s all he ever did was make people disappointed.

You seemed to notice your words didn’t do anything, so you pulled him out of your neck so he could look at you.

But instead of meeting your eyes, he immediately moved far back enough to see the scene of the crime. You were practically covered in his cum, your hand that had been grasping his length was coated in it, and your shirt and skirt were ruined with his mess. Ten months of shame and he’d covered you in it.

Jungkook’s face burned at the sight.

His gaze finally pulled away to look into your eyes. Even in the darkness, you could see how wet and red his face was, but the tears never stopped as the guilt and embarrassment continued to take over him.

“I’m sorry— I didn’t—“ He tried to feign, but he was lying right through his teeth. He could have told you to stop sooner, but he didn’t want to; he had just been so close.

Your sympathetic eyes just made things worse as you continued to look at him.

“I wanted to—“ He wanted to fuck you, that much was true. As nice as your hand felt, he wanted more, so much more. To think he could have been buried deep inside you if he hadn't given in so quickly.

“Jungkook, it’s ok, don’t worry about it.” You tried to reassure him, but with the haze of his orgasm fading, reality began to hit him at full force.

He ruined your clothes, and he literally came all over you like a fucking teenager. How much more embarrassing could he be?!

“I can replace them if you want.” He sniffled out, but he felr like could barely understand him through his sobs.

“It’s ok, I’m serious.” Your slight smile gave him more sympathy than he deserved.

You turned around and noticed the tissue box beside you. You let him go, making a slight whine escape his lips as you did so, and you grabbed a tissue to start cleaning yourself up.

…

To make matters worse, if he couldn’t get any more despicable, the lack of contact made a horrible realization dawn upon him.

He still wanted more. Instead of the guilt from his actions, the burn raged on, a little tamer this time, but it was still there sizzling, waiting to erupt once again at any moment.

You finally looked up, noticing his apologies had become too quiet and his hands had begun to steadily run over your waist again. You hoped this meant Jungkook realized everything was alright and that there were no hard feelings, but you were a little shocked to see his dazed gaze staring directly down at your opened-up shirt that had your black bra still exposed.

There was a hunger in his eyes you recognized from earlier. Hmmmm…

You put the tissue down before you wrapped your arms around his waist and pulled him close. You were delighted at the sound of his gasp as he was tugged flush against your chest. You kissed his neck, before you moved back up to trail kisses along his jaw up to his ear. His grip on your thigh grew tighter with each move you made.

“Did you want to keep going?” Your voice was soft as you felt him shiver in your grasp.

“We—we don’t have to!” His voice was a lot louder than yours, like he was trying to defend himself from being led into a trap, but you felt his grip tighten around your waist.

The number of times he’d begged Yuri for a second chance anytime he came too quickly, he couldn’t believe this was real. This had to be a trap, you were trying to embarrass him, weren’t you? You wanted to ruin him.

“You think you’re up for it?” You asked once again, your tone dropping to an octave that made his whole body shiver.

If only you knew he could keep it up the whole night. Jungkook couldn’t say anything, he almost didn’t want to; at any moment, he thought you would take it back.

“You don’t know what you’re doing…” He whispered, lightly rubbing his cheek against yours. You were unlocking a part of himself he was scared to face. He didn’t think he could come back from this.

“I do… don’t worry.” Your tone was low as your teeth grazed across his ear. A moan fell from his lips before he could stop it. He felt like an animal as his mind thought about all the things he wanted to do to you. Instead of the degradation he’d expect from Yuri, his silence was rewarded with you wrapping your hand around his semi-hard length and pumping him once again ever so gently, careful not to overstimulate him too much.

Jungkook could have screamed; his voice was too hoarse, but a guttural moan escaped his lips before he could even realize it. He couldn’t believe it; he had to be dreaming. But dream or not, that didn’t stop his softening length from beginning to grow hard once again in your grasp. He wanted nothing more than to fuck you.

“Please…” It was a sad, desperate plea. He just had to feel you once tonight.

This time, you didn’t hesitate to spread your legs for him, using one hand to pull your panties to the side and the other to rub him through your folds. You were absolutely soaked. A whine fell from both your lips as Jungkook resisted every urge to fuck into you.

He could probably cum just from this again if you kept this up.

You didn’t tease him for long, seeing his expression growing increasingly impatient. You couldn’t wait any longer either, as you took it upon yourself to guide his tip to your dripping hole.

You sighed in relief as Jungkook finally took control and slowly sank himself further into you. The more you took, the more you could have screamed, the fit filling you up in all the right places.

How much you wanted him to just destroy you…

Jungkook wanted to do just that, but the sweet sting of overstimulation made his worked-up length that much more sensitive to a sensation he hadn’t felt in a long time. His eyes stung from the tears, and he felt drunk off the warmth of your walls wrapping around him, almost pleading to milk him of anything he had left.

Too fast, and he knew you’d do just that.

He waited, as much as his body didn’t want to, but he wanted to try and make things right this time. He wanted to make you feel good too.

Soft sighs of pleasure escaped you, but you still tried to focus your mouth on his neck— gently sucking on a spot where he quickly found out was surprisingly sensitive.

“Fuck…” He groaned. This was all new to him, and he wanted more.

“Y/n… can I move?” Jungkook rushed out. He felt like he was seconds away from losing his mind.

“Please…” You begged, just as desperate.

Your plea was all he needed for him to slowly pull his hips out before shakily pushing back in. An embarrassing series of whines left his mouth in the process, not at all thinking about how loud he was anymore.

Tears spilled out of his eyes as the slick sounds started to fill his office. It was overwhelming in the best way possible. This was worse than his first time, he felt like a virgin all over again as he moved through your sopping heat, he wasn’t going to last long at all.

Jungkook immediately had to focus on not cumming again, feeling the edge approaching so quickly, but he had to make you feel good this time.

His pace was a little awkward at first; he was too eager at times to feel you, making him fumble his rhythm, but he was quick at getting back in the groove of things.

“Jungkook—“ You moaned out, your legs wrapping around his waist so he wouldn’t go far. You just needed him close, as close as he could get.

Fuck, how long has it been? Were you really this desperate?

You clung onto him tightly, hearing his pretty whines with each glide of his hips.

If you thought about it too much right now, you might come back down to the reality of the consequences of your actions. Weren’t you both about to leave just moments ago? But you didn’t think about it, you honestly couldn’t think about it as his cock glided past that spot that made you see stars.

Fuck.

You both reveled in the pornographic sounds of skin slapping against skin and the subtle sounds of the creaking of his desk anytime he’d push inside you. Random objects would get knocked off occasionally as he pushed you further onto the desk, but neither of you cared, too focused on chasing a high that was quickly approaching.

Your hand ran through his hair, tugging at the strands in desperation, while the other was down his back, your manicured nails dragging across the white fabric that you knew would probably leave a mark.

Your moans nearly drowned out his own,, but you both seemingly didn’t care about the fact that you were in public.

Jungkook’s mind was filled with nothing but white-hot need, your hands on his body, it had never been like this, it had never felt like this. He almost didn’t know what to do with himself except fuck into you as quickly as his body would let him, any second spent apart was too long, needing to stay buried in your warmth.

You were fucking touching him— someone— touch— fuck.

“C-c-close!” Jungkook rushed out suddenly. He hurriedly wrapped his arm around your back and lifted your thigh so he could fuck into you even deeper. He just couldn’t get enough. Why did this feel so good?!

Jungkook wanted to delay it as much as he could so you would feel good too, but then your lips were on his neck and suddenly he had no self-control.

Still so sensitive from his last orgasm, fresh tears spilled from his eyes as he felt himself speeding toward the edge.

“Can I—“ He wanted to ask for permission, but at this point, he feared a no wouldn’t even be enough.

“It’s okay… let go for me.” Your voice, always so sweet as you focused on running your fingers through his hair. It felt so good, so good that he wanted to cry right there in your arms. He could have, if that feeling hadn’t finally spilled over into another embarrassing whine.

“I’m sorry— so sorry, sorry, I’m—“

His rhythm turned frantic, then got sloppy, chasing, and chasing, till he buried his face in your shoulder as he came again, ropes and ropes of cum filling you up. It was hard to believe he came just minutes ago.

He sounded like he was crying again, maybe he was, but the pleasure overtook any realization of his surroundings. Jungkook’s moans turned silent, his voice too hoarse for anything louder. He wanted to scream, just wave after wave of pleasure hit him as he steadily thrusted into you. You were so nice, you always were, as you gently kissed his neck and rubbed his back.

You knew he needed it, you could feel the tears across your neck and the way he lightly shook in your arms.

It had never been that intense before; a full minute passed and he was still getting hit with the shakes as another wave would hit.

It was so good, so good, but he wasn’t satisfied just yet.

Jungkook eventually found the strength to pull himself slightly away from your shoulder. Your kind eyes looked at him with so much concern, that he hardly gave you any time to process before he was kissing you again. It was a slow, sensual kiss, and his hand came up to cup your cheek so that he could have you just a little closer. A brief moment of calm, a second to settle your beating hearts.

It was at that moment, without you noticing, Jungkook slid his hand in between your bodies. You didn’t realize it until you felt his fingers on your clit, earning an immediate gasp out of you. Jungkook hummed lightly before kissing down your neck.

You were so sensitive and so close already…

“Cum for me…” Jungkook whispered across your skin.

You will, you wanted to so badly.

“Jungkook—“

His fingers quickly picked up the pace, and you cried out for him. Jungkook could feel you tightening around his cock, spent, but greedy for more, as he started slowly thrusting into you once more.

He groaned. You felt so good— it just didn’t make sense.

This was about you though, and he had to make you feel just as good as you had made him. Jungkook relished in the way you clung onto him as your orgasm grew nearer. You were so close, he could feel it.

His fingers were skilled, so skilled you hardly had time to process before you came face to face with the edge you craved more than anything at that moment.

“Please— please, fuck, fuck, please!” You cried, and Jungkook nearly did too at how tightly you were squeezing him. Overstimulation, two orgasms, and the pain mixed with pleasure, had him speeding to his third. But this was all about you, and he pulled away to watch your expression as you fell apart.

Jungkook almost didn’t feel worthy as he watched your eyes roll back, and your moans and pleas turned into one big sigh of relief as your orgasm washed over you. You gripped him hard, and you had him crying out with you, cumming for the third time today.

It probably was a little over a minute since his last one, and he didn’t have much to give, but you made sure to milk him of everything he had left, and he loved it.

You, this, everything, it was so good.

Jungkook, through the haziness of it all, helped you both through it, his hips steadily rocking into you, and his fingers still at work until you whined at the overstimulation.

Jungkook quickly pulled you in for another kiss. It was lazy, you both were exhausted at this point, but Jungkook craved the affection more than ever as the rush, the heat, burn, and desire started to settle down. All that was left in its wake was the startling realization of what you both had just done.

The wetness began to pool in between you, his body ached, the guilt was beginning to wash over him, and the treacherous reality he ran from was back.

As much as he didn’t want to, Jungkook eventually found the strength to pull out of you. It hurt physically speaking, but it was even worse mentally. He didn’t want to leave, not with how warm and wet you were around him. It took everything in him to slowly but surely leave your warm embrace, a pained whine falling from his lips, before he took a step back.

Your hooded eyes stared at him as you breathed heavily. He was probably doing the same, but he could hardly pay attention as he stared at his mess:

Your lipstick was heavily smeared, your hair disheveled, your legs still spread with your skirt bunched up around your waist, your stockings had runs all over them, and your panties he’d pulled to the side were back in place but soaked with a mix of both of your juices.

Jungkook wanted to feel ashamed; he should, he had ruined you, but your fucked out expression only made a startling realization come over him. He liked seeing you like this, and it made the flame that had started to quell, spark once again.

This wasn’t right. None of this was right.

Jungkook should feel guilty right now. Not only had he ruined his marriage, you were also now caught up in his mess. Instead, all that resided as you both calmed down, was a startling numbness.

He should feel guilty, but it was so fucking horrible how much he enjoyed it. This was a relief Jungkook had never known could come from sex. He was spent, exhausted, yet craved more all at the same time.

But he really did feel bad, seeing you like this, and Yuri… however, that’s not what his mind could focus on. As horrible as it was, he felt… good.

Jungkook gently helped you off his desk. Your knees were a little wobbly, but he held onto you tightly as he guided you over to the couch.

You silently thanked him and watched as he went to grab your coat and shoes, which had dropped to the floor during the commotion. As soon as he handed it to you, he then kindly went over to pack up your laptop for you and grab the bottle of wine.

It was sweet, too sweet almost, considering what the fuck just happened.

You and Jungkook… you and Jungkook?

This was the same Jungkook you hated until about a month ago. This was the same Jungkook who had made your life at work hell for nearly two years. This was the same Jungkook that was married.

You started to put on your stuff, Jungkook picked up all things that had fallen off his desk, before he had his own coat and scarf in hand, and he took a seat on the opposite end of the couch. You were quickly reminded how you found yourself in this situation as he practically collapsed. A pained sigh left his lips and his hands were tangled in his hair once again.

You quickly scooted over.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry!” Jungkook cried, his sad eyes only looking at you for a second before his hair was in the way again.

This… this is precisely why. Something about the look in his eyes, the pain in his voice, it was too much, and you wanted to do anything to fix that.

You let your arm wrap around him. “You want to talk about it?” Your voice, soft and gentle as always.

Jungkook didn’t know what to say. What could he possibly do at this point? It was really hitting him. He had done it, he truly had lost it.

His panic started getting to you as well, and you were realizing the mess you had just got yourself into. As concerned as you felt for Jungkook, you now were involved in an affair. His wife’s pictures that sat around his office felt like they were bearing into you, judging you for sleeping with her husband. How could you? Not only that, but this happened with your boss, at your job, who was fucking married.

The reason this happened in the first place was unknown, but what justification could there be for both of you?

Jungkook tried his best to pull himself together as you both got up to begin your journey downstairs, but how could he go home now?

You both made a quick stop to the bathroom to clean yourselves up.

You could hardly believe the sight you saw in the mirror. You finally saw the glorious mess Jungkook had made of you, your cheeks warmed at the sight the fluorescent lights granted you. You were a mess…

You tried to quickly cover up the evidence of your misdeed. You wiped your shirt and skirt so the stains wouldn’t be so noticeable, and with the brush you kept in your purse, you tried to smooth your hair down and style it so that it covered the marks across your neck. You then tried to make your clothes sit the way they did before you walked into his office earlier, tucking your top in and smoothing out your skirt.

You wiped down your face, and with a quick reapplication of your makeup, you were as good as new again— well, as new as you needed to be at nearly 1:30 in the morning.

Despite having more to do, you were left waiting outside the bathrooms on Jungkook for a little while.

He’d walked in and the sight he saw in the mirror was equally as alluring as it was horrendous. His face was red and puffy, and his hair was sticking up in every direction. But the way your lipstick covered his face… his lips were smeared with it, just like yours had been. It was all over his cheeks, even his neck had red stains, and seeing that had him feeling funny all over again.

Jungkook was ashamed that he looked past it all, and enjoyed the way your lipstick painted his skin.

He nearly had another breakdown at the realization, and he had to give himself a pep talk to come out of the bathroom and face you again. His thoughts were quickly spiraling, and he felt himself getting jittery again. It was the same way he felt in Dr. Min’s office, the same way that would plague him occasionally, and he was stuck alone for hours trying to get himself together to face the world again. He probably would have collapsed and locked himself in the bathroom if you weren’t waiting on him.

He likely came out looking worse than he did coming in. Your lipstick was gone, but he had been stuck inside trying to wipe the tears that just wouldn’t stop falling from his eyes.

Eventually, you both made your way to the elevators.

Jungkook had offered to drive you home considering how late it was. You probably would have said no considering the situation, but you didn’t really think about how you would get home beforehand. You honestly didn’t think you’d be here this long, but you also knew Taehyung would have no issue coming to pick you up.

He lived close by, and he’d been there many times before when the buses and subways were closed. Even at the oddest times of night, he always knew when you were out and would be there to get you. You would have called him, but considering you looked like a mess, surely Taehyung was bound to ask questions about what happened during your evening with the boss. That was the last thing you needed, keeping as few people involved as possible was the better option. Plus, he had spent the night partying, and you doubted if he was available or even sober enough to drive you.

Jungkook it was then.

Things were noticeably awkward between you two. As you both waited for the elevator, a notable distance separated you two, and a painful silence settled in the air.

“You never answered my question earlier…” Things felt different now. The further you walked from the sanctuary of his office, the more real it became. You honestly wanted nothing more than to get away from him.

The elevator dinged before the doors opened. You both stepped inside and Jungkook hit the button down to the garage.

What could he say?

“What excuse could I give?” Jungkook sounded distraught and you started feeling bad once again.

“I mean… I don’t mean to impose, but considering what happened… you just don’t seem fine.” You spoke sincerely, not wanting to beat around the bush.

Jungkook leaned against the elevator wall, and with the lights shining down on his face, you could clearly see the wetness staining his cheeks.

There was a moment of silence as your statement lingered in the air, but eventually Jungkook worked up the courage to say something, anything really, he owed you that much at least.

“It's an arranged marriage.” Jungkook's voice was still hoarse, and a tear rolled down his cheek as the words left his mouth. He really hated telling people.

You were visibly shocked at this, eyes widening as his words processed in your mind. You thought it was weird he was married, but you didn’t think arranged marriages happened anymore, especially here. Even if they did, that didn’t matter, he was still so young.

“It’s been hard over the years… really, really hard, but that doesn’t excuse anything.” Jungkook was vague, however it was still something.

As you both stepped out of the elevator, into the short hallway, and out the parking garage, Jungkook offered once again to get your clothes professionally cleaned or replaced if that’s what you preferred, when he still noticed the stain on your skirt under the light.

You thanked him, but you didn’t want to be indebted to him. Instead, you said you’d handle it yourself.

Plus, now you can call it even.

It was awkward again as he pushed open the door and you both walked to his car. It was one of the only ones down here, but who else would own a Mercedes?

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t… I’m sorry…” Jungkook was lying through his teeth. He wished he wasn’t, but as bad as he felt, no one had ever made him feel that good before.

“Look.” You stopped in your tracks, making him stop with you.

“You obviously seem to be going through a lot, I get that. But Jungkook, I don't want to be involved in this.” You were serious as you spoke.

“That’s your business. Tonight did not happen. Tomorrow we’ll come into work like none of this happened. You won’t ever need to worry about me telling anyone. This was a fluke, a mistake, something that shouldn’t have happened. I trust you’ll do the same. That’s as simple as it needs to be.” You seemed mad, and as much as you were right, Jungkook couldn’t stop the way his chest tightened at your words.

A fluke, a mistake, something that shouldn’t have happened. It hurt so much for some reason, but you were right in the end.

Jungkook just nodded, knowing he would have a breakdown if he tried to say anything. But what could he say anyway? You were right.

You both steadily made it to his car, a sleek, black, 2022 Mercedes AMG GT 53 4-door Coupe. This was his personal car, not the fancy SUV his driver would always take him around in, but whenever Jungkook worked late nights like this, he’d normally drive himself to work and give Dae-Jung the day off.

You tried not to show how impressed you were as you got in. It really was a nice car with the pretty LED lights dimly illuminating the matching black interior. Then the sound it made as he started it up, and with one hand on the wheel, he pulled out of the underground garage…

If things were different, this definitely would have easily made you fold— a good looking guy driving a sexy car was a thing you knew you had, but this was a married man who you just had an affair with.

Now was certainly not the time.

The ride was silent, aside from when Jungkook asked for your apartment’s address. What else was there to say really?

You were mad. You wanted to put all the blame on Jungkook for getting you involved with this mess, but it takes two to tango as they say. You never stopped him when he pulled you close and you didn’t want to. You were just as mad at him as you were at yourself.

You knew he was married, yet you kept going, you wanted more, and relished when he finally filled you up. And his eyes, he seemed so sad, you wanted to do anything to make him feel better.

As Jungkook drove you home, a new look seemed to settle behind his gaze. Before he seemed like he was constantly at the point of breaking, but now it was nothingness, lifelessness, a void contained in his dark orbs.

Were you too harsh earlier? That’s the way it had to be though, this had to be a mistake you would never acknowledge at any point going forward. But maybe there was a better way to say it. Something clearly wasn’t right, and you were still concerned at the end of the day.

The late hour offered minimal traffic so you were pulling up to your apartment building just a little over twenty minutes later.

You were quick to grab your stuff and push open the door to get out, but not without a glance at the man beside you whose hair almost entirely shielded his gaze. His hands on the steering wheel were tight and he never once looked at you.

“Jungkook…” That gentle tone was back and he finally looked at you.

He seemed dazed almost.

“You should probably talk to someone. You seem to be going through a lot, and even though you were vague with me, someone out there will listen to you. Not going to lie, I’m a little worried… you remind me so much of a friend who went through a lot and… It might really help talking to a professional.” You held that same look of concern you had right before he kissed you.

It was so bad, he wanted to do it again.

Jungkook felt his cheeks warm at the thought, remembering how it felt to have your lips against his.

He weakly tried to laugh it off. “You aren’t the first person who’s said that.”

“You might really benefit from it. I suggest trying it out.”

Jungkook nodded. The last time he attempted therapy it didn’t go so well, but then again, he had only gone twice.

You gave him a weak smile before you swung your bag over your shoulder and started walking toward the entrance. Jungkook stayed until he made sure you made it inside, and then he was driving off.

His head was empty as he drove down the road, no tears, no pain, no anything. Instead, he couldn’t stop thinking about what happened earlier, it had never felt like that before, not once had it felt like that before.

Your hands, your lips, your body, your our skirt bunched up around your waist, your thigh-highs, that lacy black bra you had on underneath, your smeared lipstick. It replayed in his head over and over again. By the time Jungkook made it home it was going on three. He was tired, his body ached, his mind spent, but there was only one thing he could focus on as he punched in the code to the door.

He wasn’t entirely surprised when he opened the door to find the apartment, dark, empty, and he was alone, like always. Yuri had texted him right before you walked in his office that the shoot was in fact running long and she wouldn’t be home until early in the morning. It was almost a relief that she wasn’t here. He didn’t know what he would have done if she was, but the silence was painful. Silence let his mind wander off too much, and in the silence the realization of his actions hit him once again.

Jungkook’s eyes started to blur as he looked at the pictures that were sprinkled around the apartment of the two of them. He felt terrible, but not like how he should have.

This was actually his worst nightmare, he had turned his marriage from one that could have posed as real as any other, into that fake shit his parents put up with. Jungkook had turned into the person he detested the most, and there was nothing he could do to come back from it. He should feel terrible, so fucking terrible. He should prepare to get on his knees and beg for Yuri’s forgiveness, even though he knew he didn’t deserve it. He had been such a terrible husband over the years and the one thing he thought he’d never betray was the fact he was faithful and he’d always try his best to make their relationship work.

What now? Had he just given up? Jungkook wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, he wanted to do worse, he wanted to make it hurt, but instead, he just sank down against the door.

All he could think about was you and how good it felt. Was it just because he was so sensitive? It really had been so long, but it had never been like that before. Never, not even in the memory he held so closely— Yuri and him in the hot tub at the Maldives. It had never felt like that.

Jungkook should feel guilty, and he did, but only because he didn’t feel bad. He couldn’t stop thinking about you, your hands, your lips, you, you, you.

Despite the fiasco in his office, the ride over with him and his stupid fucking mind that wouldn’t shut up, had his cock aching all over again. He was hard, and he wished so much you would have invited him upstairs so he could have stayed in your arms all night long. He would have said yes if you offered.

He wanted you so badly, but this wasn’t right.

Jungkook wanted to fix this, he easily could have, the memories were vivid and he so badly wanted to feel good again. But the tears finally fell on his cheeks when he remembered Yuri and how disappointed she would be. He couldn't do that, he couldn't, he fucking couldn’t.

He was a disappointment, Yuri was right about everything. He was pathetic, his life couldn’t get any worse.

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