#I never found anything with this many fossils as a kid!

[jabbers-wild-world]

;; Guys! Look what I found today!! Fossils!!! My inner child who dreamed of paleontology is screaming right now!

There’s a ton of shells, and the big rounded oval spot is a clam!!

[bogleech]

Many parasites takeover the minds and bodies of insects, spiders or other creatures, making them like zombies. You’ve listed some in spider-ween and other places. Do you know any parasites that take over bees? I know wasps lay their eggs in their larva, but haven’t really found anything about those that pilot a bee’s body.

Strepsipterans! Also frequently just called "Stylops"

These are the weirdest most alien insect group in existence. What you're seeing are the head ends of the mature females; their bodies are just bags of tissue that absorb nutrients from the host, so they no longer have any trace of limbs or wings and their flat little heads no longer have mouths or eyes.

The only reason the female's heads stick out of the host at all is because the head evolved into the end they mate with. The short-lived mature male is a very tiny flying thing (whose anatomy is unlike any other insect alive today - a totally unique type of wing, unique eye arrangement, we have NO idea what these evolved from, except for some loose connections to beetles!) who mates by breaking through the female's featureless armored face with his bladed genitalia and then he dies. And Strepsiptera can be found infecting all sorts of arthropods, even apparently some arachnids, but none of those arthropods really tend to sit still when a little tiny flying man tries to land on them, so the females usually do something to their hosts (we aren't sure what exactly) to make them slower and more complacent. Social Hymenoptera like bees are especially common hosts though, and when a worker bee or wasp is infected by stylops, she actually abandons her colony and her duties for extended periods of time to just perch in one place while the parasite broadcasts its mating pheromones. This is especially eerie from the bee's perspective; a worker bee is a female bee that wasn't allowed to become a queen and isn't "supposed" to be going around mating, but now she's sitting around waiting for a male just like any other bug that wants to be a mom. It's just not a male of her species and she's not the one who gets to reproduce. Is the parasite tapping into buried queen behavior? Does the bee's little brain think it's calling for a drone to help it start a new hive? Or does the parasite just make the bee a lazy slob who stops caring about her hive and just feels like chilling out on a flower all day? We might never know.

Here are those unique eyes of the male for anyone wondering. Not set in a fine multifaceted grid like in other insects, but clustered, still set in their own individual "sockets" like we see in much more ancient arthropods like trilobites! This suggests that Strepsipteran eyes date back to when insects were first beginning to evolve towards true compound eyes, but there still aren't many insects in the fossil record that have anything else in common with these animals. EDIT: oh yeah I forgot to include that these are in the children's book made by @revretch and I!

I did the rough pencil sketch of this page while Rev did the beautiful inks! I felt kids should know about these animals but I tried to explain it in the most kid-friendly way possible.

[cheesus-doodles]

I hope this makes sense but could you please do a yandere toman x reader where they are all just exploring a museum together? Idk it just sounds cute to me.

this is kinda cute! not sure if this is what you meant anon, but i hope you enjoy regardless!

Masterlist

‎‎

Baji: Of course this baby boy is going to love the natural history museum with every bit of his heart ever since you invited him to go the first time. Has never stepped into a museum before, always though they were old people spaces and boring, like the library. But the moment he sees the taxidermy animals and even better, the spirit collection, his eyes light up. What's there not to like? Loves to look at evolution through the ages, especially the cats section and all their extinct ancestors, but doesn't understand much of the text or the science behind it. No worries though, Baji does make the effort to read up about his favorite exhibits. Though he would get embarrassed at being caught there (he's a big bad delinquent after all), would still accept any of your requests to accompany you to the museum. But don't except this baby boy to be interested in any other exhibit there - he will follow you around patiently for a maximum of an hour, until he has had enough and will physically put you over his shoulder and carry you back to the natural history exhibits.

Kazutora: Always had a thing for delinquent goods, so no doubt his favorite section of the museum would be military history, especially the collections of memorabilia they had on show. You were probably attuned with his interests, and had surprised him one day by simply dragging him along without telling Kazutora where you two were going. This baby boy was giddy that you two were on a 'date' of course, but even more so when he realized that you had made the effort to take him to go and see what you think he would be interested in, and you were spot on. Would spend hours with his jaw dropped looking at military history through time (his utmost favorite would probably be roman history), to which he would excitedly grab you to look at another piece that he found extremely interesting. Would absolutely refuse to look at anything but military history exhibits, would cry and beg and plead and just refuse to move. Would even buy a small souvenir to remember the occasion.

Mikey: Dinosaurs. Just- dinosaurs. Starry-eyed the moment he sees his first dinosaur skeleton, much more like a kid then the delinquent gang leader everyone feared when he steps foot in the museum. You had asked Mikey to accompany you to the museum on a school trip, promising him a handmade taiyaki if he accompanies you because some of the exhibitions scared you. This baby boy had been so reluctant at first, but then he laid eyes on the dinosaur and he was just. So. Impressed by how big they were. Just stands them in awe, asking you again and again to tell him more about the dinosaurs. And then of course he drags you off to look at more dinosaur fossils, the bigger the better. Somehow very confident that he could fight one and win, and likes the biggest of all the dinosaurs, which Mikey thought was a carnivore - the Argentinosaurusa, which was a herbivore, but you don't have the heart to tell him otherwise. Insists on buying a keychain of a dino fossil to carry around. You do manage to convince a sulking Mikey to follow you to the other "less interesting exhibits" though, but you'll have to piggyback him around.

Draken: Absolutely would be Engineering and Science. This boy had definitely been to the museum before, and has been back several times to look at and study the engineering and science sections in particular. Does a lot of self-study to learn more about engineering, and would be great friends with many of the museum stuff who help him with his learning, teaching him about the various machines. When you invite him to go along, Draken would be more than happy to. If you have an interest in engineering, it would certainly make this boy very happy to tell you more about each exhibit and the science and math behind it, but otherwise would be content with wandering around the museum, listening to you talk about anything and everything. Would even prod you about your favourite exhibits and learn about them so that he can discuss more with you. Has no problem looking at other exhibits, anything that you want, as long as he got to spend time with you.

Mitsuya: No doubt, the art museum would long already be a mainstay of Mitsuya's downtime visits - he loves to spend time looking at both classics and modern pieces, taking inspiration for his fashion. Would be delighted if you choose to visit his favourite museum and exhibits, hooking his arm in yours and telling you everything that he likes about the art piece, be it a painting, statue or figure. Would be even happier if you knew enough to could discuss the finer details with him, but wouldn't be at all angry if you didn't. Mitsuya would just be happy to have someone to share his passion with, as opposed to the rest of the Toman boys who have no care for art. But Mitsuya would be happy to go to any museum and exhibit with you, taking the pamphlets and reading the little blurbs about them, noting which ones he can bring his little sister to see as well. And when you do point out your favourites, Mitsuya would even make you a little souvenir so that you remember your trip to the museum with him.

Pah-chin: Pah would have a love/hate relationship with exhibitions showing gaming/arcade and electronics history. Loves arcades, and would be sad to see all the types of consoles and games that were now out of production and he would never get to play or try out. Interestingly, this boy would also be interested in the any land use exhibition, and would get you to explain to him everything and anything that he doesn't understand. But don't get him wrong, Pah still loves the electronics section the best. Would drag you off to the arcade after for a good gaming session too. Really can't be bothered about much else in the museum, and would keep dragging you back to what he wants to see.

The mess would be when you try to explore a museum with all of the Toman boys present, each of them insisting that you go with them to go and see their favourite exhibit. Hopefully you go manage to calm your boys down and get them to agree to go see a neutral exhibit, if not you might have to spend the rest of the day getting tugged and pulled and outright hoisted off.

[smash-64]

2023 Game of the Year Countdown #5 Pokemon Trading Card Game  (and also the Pokemon Trading Card Game Neo! romhack by Cataclyptic that added Gen 2 Pokes) Nintendo GameBoy Color, 1998

This entry will include two games, but one is simply a romhack by a fan. However, that romhack is probably the best romhack I’ve ever played. First, the original.

Pokemon Trading Card Game came with the addition of GameBoy games to the Switch online subscription, and for many, it was their first experience with the TCG. My best friend and I taught ourselves to play back in the day, but we were poor kids with little allowance to spend on cards and never had any good decks. I used to read about really expensive decks filled with holographics and rares that won tournaments and always wished I could make one of my own. The pinnacle was always the Haymaker deck: a deck built around a few Pokemon with high HP and cheap attacks that could KO opponents before they could do anything about it.

The thing is, the Haymaker deck is so hilariously powerful, you can essentially stomp the CPU without even putting together a complete version of the deck. The best versions rely on Energy Removals and Super Energy Removals to hamstring opponents, and Gusts of Wind to force your opponent into switching to suit favorable matchups. I never pulled a single Super Energy Removal at all, and was lacking full sets of numerous Pokemon that were staples in the Haymaker deck, yet I was still able to absolutely blast the CPU. It was easy, but it was also fun.

However, the true experience came from the romhack created by Cataclyptic. The romhack creates a full set of new cards, removing most of the old ones from Base Set, Jungle, and Fossil. Instead, we get all the Johto Pokemon, as well as a few returning cards that have been balanced. I found the balanced cards to be wonderfully tailored to be good, but never TOO good. It was surprising to see that almost every card felt useful. Many were based on other cards, and I fell into a Meganium and Bellossom deck. There were two Meganiums, with one able to heal status conditions and the other able to shuffle energy cards among your Pokemon. Meanwhile, Bellossom was clearly based on the Do the Wave Wigglytuff of Jungle lore. However, this Bellossom felt more balanced since it was a stage 2 evolution, and the attack required grass energies, not colorless. As a result, it took longer to both fully evolve, and power up your Pokemon, since you couldn’t utilize the Double Colorless Energy.

I was also a fan of Jumpluff, as the entire evolutionary line only required a single grass energy for every attack. As a result, you had a whole line of Pokemon that felt true to their original design of being lightweight, quick Pokemon. I loved the attention to detail on this sort of thing.

Additionally, the cards themselves were created in the same GBC sprites that the original game had. Some look better than others, but I think almost all look better than their original counterparts. Clearly crafted with love by Cataclyptic.

Finally, before I get inundated with messages and comments telling me about the official TCG sequel that was only released in Japan, I did also try the fan translation of that game. However, I didn’t enjoy it much at all because they severely restricted so many things. Part of what was fun about the game to begin with was being able to get booster packs at a rate significantly above what my poor childhood self could afford. However, the very premise of Invasion of Team GR! is that they’ve taken all the Pokemon cards, making them very scarce. As a result, you can’t get cards nearly as easily. And with the extra sets added to the game, you can’t get the ones you want very easily, either. 

Additionally, the entire strategy behind most of the Team Rocket cards is to disrupt play, and while that might be similar in one way to the Haymaker strategy I previously praised, the Pokemon themselves are all pretty weak. It feels like you’re just playing Trainer cards and nothing else. I’ve seen some strategies that make people discard most of their deck instead of KOing their Pokemon. It very much fits the MO of Team Rocket, but it just isn’t quite for me. However, if you like blue decks in Magic the Gathering, you might enjoy this one. 

If you like the TCG or the original game, play Cataclyptic’s romhack! I’d buy a physical cart of it, if I could.

[its-dean]

Meeting my Fossil Fighters Characters

Since I’m still relatively new to posting here I wanted to take the opportunity to showcase some of the characters from my Fossil Fighters story I’ve made illustrations of over the years. Hope you enjoy 🙏

Alex Agamemnon

Alex comes from the middle of nowhere, a small town deep in the mountains, but his passion for Fossil Fighting still shines through. A lot of that passion comes from a history with the sport that’s rooted in his family, though Alex still never imagined he’d ever get a chance to pursue those dreams of his. Where he stands now, he may be an inexperienced rookie, shy and unsure of himself, having to deal with being away from home, but he always keeps moving forward in the hopes that he’ll make his family proud someday.

Speaking of family, Alex has a kid sister, Louise, and a dog, Luke. Since none of them are familiar with traveling, I’d like to imagine that they’d be pretty amazed with seeing the ocean for the first time.

Alex, like his mentor, enjoys using air types. It’s made all the more passionate through his first Vivosaur partner: Via

Amber Koulourakia

By far my favorite character, Amber is simply here for the fun of it. Growing up in a town very popular with Fossil Fighters docking in from overseas, she always felt incredibly stuck in her life. It’s like her dreams were right at her doorstep, but she could never make it to where she wanted to go. Now that she’s actually made it to Arkeos Island, her new biggest challenge won’t be her lack of battling experience, but her lack of social skills…

Amber’s birthday falls on St Patrick’s Day, so whenever it comes up I try to go all out. This illustration is a couple of years old, but is still one of my favorites of anything I’ve made. (Also unfortunately her hair in all of this old art is a bit outdated, but I haven’t made anything with the updated “curly hair” design she has)

In terms of vivosaurs, Amber has a soaring soft spot for sauropods. I’d imagine her closest partner she’s eventually find definitely being Seismo (one of my personal favorites).

Kris Robin and Tyrus Therapo

I put Kris and Tyrus together for now because they’re have many similarities to them when first getting to know them. Both of them are perfectionists in their Fossil Battling, and are the two strongest members of their Fossil Battling team. Founded and led by Tyrus, based in Bockland Fossil Park (located in a European area of the world) The Bockland Monarchs have cemented themselves as the world’s premiere team to beat thanks to Tyrus’s incredible unbeaten streak. As he began growing his team, he discovered Kris and quickly took her under his wing. Together, they hope to cement the Monarchs’ reputation as legendary.

Kris almost exclusively uses neutral vivosaurs. Tyrus will take an entirely competitive approach, not caring about theming or gimmicks, just efficiency. He also has a vivosaur form I’ve designed, though he wouldn’t have a realistic way to obtaining or using it for himself.

Rhia

Rhia the albino Dinaurian is such an enigma, she truly deserves her own full post to try and explain the bulk of her history. In terms of art, though, she’s also my oldest character by a large margin, and as a result has a good amount of illustrations and fanart to choose from. This piece from her birthday 2022 is still my favorite, though.

Rhia also has a vivosaur form, but like Tyrus would have no realistic way of achieving it for herself. Just another thing I wanted to design for her, though I do have some ideas of how she might come about obtaining the tech.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed🙏 have a good night

[broadswordandpistol]

A Tale Once Told

[Context: Alvin owes Aeris, the maskmaker, a story for crafting a mask that he gave to Chilion, the Lake Entity, to enable Chilion to manifest on his own. This story is his payment. Edited slightly so that it's only the story.]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Something personal, huh? That was tricky; so much of Alvin’s life required context. He folded his arms and mulled over the request for a long moment, then found himself a seat on the same wall Aeris was seated on.

“When I was a kid, my mom was sick,” he began. “Not the easy stuff like a cold or a fever. There’s a degenerative disease that runs on her side of the family, and after too many twists of fate, she ended up bedridden. I was only about twelve, and my dad had passed away six years earlier.

“She and I were living with my uncle at the time. He … took advantage of her, let’s leave it at that. Her doc at the time came up with an idea for getting her mobile, and I’d have done anything he wanted to get her away from my uncle. So when he said he needed the biggest spirit fossil anyone could find, I told him I’d come up with it.”

“Her doc had moved to Leronde not too long before — wanted to get away from —“ He paused. “It’s complicated. Luckily for him, and for me, Leronde’s renowned for its mines, and the spirit fossils in the depths of them. They’re not the safest places — full of monsters. I don’t know if he thought I’d try to buy one or something, but I was saving every coin I could get my hands on. If I got Mom away from my uncle, I’d have to support her on my own.

“So I went in on my own. It’s not too hard to sneak when you’re a pint-sized kid. I followed some miners and hid whenever they looked like they were gonna turn around. It was dark down there, and creepy from the tap-tap-tap of pickaxes somewhere in the distance. I kept close on ‘em as best I could. They had the light. Even if I’d wanted to steal one of my own from the supply area, I couldn’t use spirit artes to light it.

“It was going okay until one of those giant worm monsters shot out of the ground and tried to eat me. I say giant — not the big one that Leia told me about that she and Jude and Milla fought. One of the regular ones, but to a kid, they feel enormous.”

Alvin shook his head. This was a story he’d never told anyone — not even Jude. Especially not Jude. If it got back to him later, he might piece together the extra parts of the subtext Alvin wasn’t sharing. It might be all right if he did, at this point.

“I’m pretty sure I yelled. Definitely took a potshot at it before it knocked me down. Don’t ask why a kid my age had a gun. You don’t want to know. The miners heard me — either the yell or the bullet or both, and managed to scrape it off me before it did any permanent damage.

“Then they had to decide what to do with me. They couldn’t ship me back in the minecart on my own — no guarantee I’d stay there, and for all they knew someone else would dump their ore on top of me. They settled on keeping me around until they were done for the day, though they weren’t too happy that I couldn’t keep their lanterns lit or send the orecart off on my own. One of ‘em was certain I was lying about that, and he made it pretty clear more than once.

“At the end of the day, he was the one I pickpocketed for the biggest spirit fossil I could get my hands on."

Alvin dragged a hand through his hair. “You can imagine I went pelting into the doc’s office as fast as twelve-year-old legs after a day of hauling buckets of ore could go. The doc seemed impressed enough with the fossil, at least, but he refused to do the procedure until morning. Looking back at it now, I get it, but I sure didn’t then. I spent the entire night awake, imagining what it’d be like — being able to take my mom somewhere else, having her able to get around on her own.

“I sat outside the waiting room tied up in knots the next morning, after the doc took her in. Waited, waited, jiggled around, waited some more.

“And then … “ His voice caught; his eyes closed, and he swallowed. “And then she screamed."

“The silence after that was deafening. I threw myself at the door. Locked. Rattled the doorknob and yelled. It was a minute before the doc let me in — didn’t realize it at the time, but he must have been stabilizing her. “She didn’t look good. The doc told me she didn’t take the aspyrixis well — the device that would help her walk. It caused so much pain that she’d passed out almost instantly. He’d already taken it off her, and it was sitting in a box nearby.

“He told me — there was nothing else he could do for her, or for me. And in no uncertain terms that it’d be best if we went as soon as I could move her. My uncle wouldn’t take lightly to her being missing.

“She woke, then, and called me over to the bed. Mom was still sane back then, most of the time. She told me, “You tried your best, Alfred. We’ll find another way,” and kissed my forehead.

“I think that’s the last time I cried.”

[hawktrainer]

Evolutionary orientation

When I was a kid my father seemed to have a fascination with human evolution and ancient peoples. I remember he read Donald Johanson’s book “Lucy: The Beginnings of Humankind” and excitedly talked about it each night at the dinner table for several nights in a row. We took several trips to the Southwestern US to visit Ancestral Pueblan sites, like Mesa Verde, Canyon de Chelly, etc. We was a geologist for the petroleum industry and I think from that he gleaned an interest in fossils, the history found in rocks, and the amazing ways that humans had inhabited the rock formations on the Southwestern desert of the US.

I had always had a deep interest in how everything around me came into being, but especially anything human-made, so there was certainly an overlap between his interests and my own, and I his excitement impressed upon and transferred to me in a lot of ways. During my teens and much of my 20′s my interest was more in socializing and other things, but my work with coiled basketry and cotton rope rekindled my interest in human evolution in my early 30′s. I understood, or at least had some strong hunch, that the roots of the techniques and materials I was using were quite ancient, and I wanted to get an idea of just how ancient. Quick spoiler alert: we have no real answer, but some of the most current evidence goes back around 50,00 years ago. 

While making that type of work I spend a lot of time listening to podcasts and audiobooks, and gravitated toward science, and nonfiction in general. Carl Sagan’s books and Cosmos series helped me to get an understanding of Deep Time, Big History, and Deep History. These concepts profoundly effected my understanding of everything, and will continue to give me goose bumps and shake me to my core.

Later, in 2014 or 2015, I read Yuval Harari’s Sapiens, after reading Jared Diamond’s The Third Chimpanzee the preceding year. These really lit a fire in me. My knowledge of human evolution had been quite basic, something like the deeply flawed popular 1965 illustration, “March of Progress”. I now see that most people, if they believe in evolution at all, also seem to carry this basic understanding of human evolution, and of evolution in general, which is unfortunate. Anyhow, reading those books introduced me to the idea that not only had numerous other humans species existed (as the genus Homo), but several of them existed concurrently with us (homo sapiens) for many thousands of years.

So, over the last 10 years I have read at least a couple dozen books, and watched countless documentaries and videos around this topic. I can’t seem to get enough of the subject, and have been seriously considering getting another degree in anthropology, though I’m quite hesitant. Through all this reading there have been many changes in my perspective human culture/behavior, past and present. There’s obviously an infinite amount to talk about on the subject (literally, as there will never be “answers”), but one thing has been on my mind a lot lately, enough to take the time to write this.

In speaking and writing about evolution, there is often (maybe even mostly) usage of words/phrases that imply either an intentionality or the sense of being consciously directed by a force/deity/higher power. Perhaps more often, words are used that imply something happened instantly. Of course this appears in most of the articles and videos in mass-media related to evolution, but I’ve noticed in many books written by experts in biology, anthropology, sociology,  and other related sciences. It always irks me because it seems to undermine the very idea of evolution, and thwarts much of the effort to educate people about evolution. Some examples of these types of words often used to describe evolutionary phenomena, which I find to be problematic: 

-strategy (like an animal has an evolutionary “strategy” for survival) -tool (used much like “strategy”) -design (obviously implying some intentional shaping my an outside force or conscious internal force) -created (used in a way that implies active, intentional creation) -suddenly (this is often used in a way that implies things appeared within one generation of even a few years; or that they appeared one time in one place) -missing link (lots of writing about why this is incorrect) -using the word “developed” or phrase “came up with” in reference to some biological feature in a way that implies that an animal or group of animals consciously decided to change their genes. -first (as in “the first neanderthal”, the “first dinosaurs”)

If you watch or read anything about evolution try to notice this type of language. You will probably find that it is everywhere. Even when an author is trying to be careful to be accurate, they’re often thwarted by the same pitfalls in thinking about evolution and the nature of how everything came to be as it is. Evolution happens very slowly, over many generations. Genetics and archeology have shown us that there is no purity of species- that all living things are an incredibly complex and always changing blend of ingredients from many sources, and those sources were also all incredibly complex blends. There was no “first” Neanderthal, or dog, etc. What we have defined as a species came about through a gradual series of changes over a very long period of time. Its not like suddenly a Homo Habilis female one day gave birth to a baby Homo Erectus.   Evolution is also basically random and chaotic. The biological traits and behavior of living things were not designed, strategized, or created, given tools, or given abilities. Those traits and behaviors developed randomly over many generations, through the chaos of time and nature. Traits also tend to fade in and out multiple times, very gradually, across time and geography, blending together in complex ways. Furthermore, changes in traits and behaviors brought about by human intervention (such as the many breeds of dogs, or different types of tomatoes for example) are not considered natural evolution. Those are referred to as “artificial evolution” or “selective breeding”, but are often confused with the process of evolution.

Beyond this, there’s a general attitude that evolution = improvement. This seems to arrive from the old idea of evolution as “survival of the fittest”, which sees evolution as a process of “weeding out” species that aren’t well-enough adapted to pressures in their environment. This implies that evolution is a process of optimization, and that the current/latest form of the species is the “best” or most finely adapted or perfected to their specific environment. We don’t have to look much further than our own homo sapiens bodies to see that this isn’t the case. Our bipedalism introduces so many potential orthopedic problems, causes us to move quite slowly, etc., that if evolution were a process of optimization our skeletons and musculature would be very different. 

I’m not a writer, so I’m sure there are many weakness in how I’ve tried to make these points, but in general I hope the idea is getting across. I’m also not an evolutionary biologist - so I’m sure some of what I’ve written is incorrect in a number of ways. There’s so much more to say about this topic, though, and maybe I’ll expand upon this in the future. Learning about evolution has taught me as much about how humans currently tend to, or want to think about and explain the world than how the world actually is/was. My issues with this says a lot about me specifically, perhaps - how my brain works, my insecurities and fears, etc.

[pbandjesse]

Today was a really nice day. But why do I still do crumby still. Sucks. It was a beautiful day and I had a lot of fun for the most part.

I slept alright last night. But I had really bizarre and intense dreams. When I woke up at 730 I felt alright. A little weird but fine. I was looking forward to my outfit. Which is silly but I haven't worn this shirt in a while and I always like it. And this was the first time I've worn these shorts this year. It just felt nice.

I let my phone charge a bit while I got ready. I made sure James remembered sun screen and I packed big spray for us. James was in charge of our extra battery pack. And I had snacks for us.

I was a little frustrated that James had a bagel for breakfast and there wasn't anything I wanted. I would end up with a slice of angel food cake but it has a weird after taste I didn't enjoy. But it was fine. I was excited to get on the road.

It was a little less then two hours to Calvert cliffs. And it was a really nice drive. We listened to podcasts. I tried not to just stare at my phone. It was a beautiful day.

And when we got out there it was so nice. The long sleeve was a good call, as it was not even 10 when we got there and it was still cool. And once we got near the bay it would be cool there as well.

We would use the bathrooms first, got on bug spray, and started on the red trail. It was a very easy hike. It was just under two miles but it was very flat and mostly under shade. It started on a man made pond but we followed along a stream that would eventually become marsh which would eventually become the Chesapeake Bay! We saw little animal, like skinks and frogs and lizards. We saw a bever dam and even had to walk on the edge of the bride because it had flooded. Some park staff were working on taking down part of the dam to get the flooding to stop. Which was very funny to me.

I really just enjoyed the walk. I was the least uncomfortable I have been since last week. I had fun talking to James and was just in a very good place.

When we got to the bay beach it was super pretty. You can go under or on the cliffs anymore because it's to dangerous because of erosion. But the part of the beach that was accessible was really nice! There were a few other people, some kids. But it was quiet. Except for the weed wackers the staff was using on some plants but that didn't bother me. I took my shoes off right away and was having fun having my feet in the sand and water.

We were there to look for fossils but it turns out I have no idea what to look for? Like shark tooth fossils are what the beach is known for, but there were also other kinds to be found. But there were so many shells too it was hard to tell what was what. Also, weirdly, rocks that weren't rocks but instead were clay?? It was fun though! We had brought a small shovel and we would share that. I found a few things that might be fossils, no teeth, but shells and possibly barnacles or scallops. Regardless it was fun!

James didn't take their shoes off and got there one foot wet trying to jump over a stream. They said it was just a mild annoyance. We would sit on a drift wood log and talk about having kids. And things were afraid of. Things we hope for. It was nice watching the little kids digging and trying to find things. And it was just so beautiful out. I felt really happy.

I was starting to have the weird bone pain in my legs again. Something that's been happening all week. But it was fine. I would be okay. I actually felt pretty fine and soon we would start the hike back to the car.

The walk back we saw more skinks and lizards. We ran into a family that had been at the beach with us and they were trying to catch a frog so I showed them the picture I took and they went back to see if they could get it. Apparently the mom promised to kiss whatever they could catch. Which was hilarious to me.

The walk back felt a little longer. But it wasn't bad. I felt like I was seeing more blue lizards. I never was fast enough to get a picture to identify it but it was fun to spot them. And soon enough we were back to the parking lot.

James went to use the bathroom and I went to read a park sign about not picking up grandes you find. "If you didn't drop it, don't pick it up!" Bizarre.

The car was to hot from sitting in the sun so we opened the doors and ran the AC for a minute. I was hungry. And we needed gas. So we headed back out of the park and back to the real world.

We had to go like a half hour before we found somewhere but it ended up being perfect. A cute little deli. We got sandwiches. I could only eat half, so I have a half sandwich and coleslaw for later. And then we notifed that there was a shell gas station and a Marshalls and a Harris teeter all across the street. All the places we had planned on going. Amazing.

First we got gas. James cleaned the windows. And then over to Marshalls to look for bubble bath but no luck. We would find some bath milk powder at Harris teeter. And the kewpie mayo we were looking for. As well as the shampoo James uses. Excellent.

My body decided that I had had enough. And started to feel bad again.jamwa would get my squish mallow donkey from the backseat so I could use it as a pillow. And I just sort of rested and looked out the window for the hour plus drive home.

Mr Will called on our drive home to let us know he has painted the door. Thank you Will. It looks great honestly. And the drive back wasn't bad but I really really wanted to be horizontal.

I was very happy to be home. When we got back here I considered a shower but I just couldn't. I got out of my hiking clothes and laid down.

I slept a while. I had strange dreams again. But it was whatever. I woke up at 530 and had a note from James that they were biking but it was from earlier and they were in the kitchen making texmex. I went and hugged on them for a little before going to take that shower.

I washed my hair and the shower hurt my skin but it was fine. I was glad to be clean.

After that I just wanted to lay down again. I felt exhausted. I would go and just be a potato for a while.

Eventually I did get up and move to the living room. James heated me up leftovers. And we hung out and talked. And that was really the end of the day. I've been hanging out here watching omelet the frog and hearing all the fireworks. I wish I felt better. But at least a good portion of the day I felt good. Let's hope every day I can feel a little better.

Tomorrow we are planning on going to buy light jackets and then go and use our kayak. I hope it's fun. I hope you all have a good day. Take care of yourself! Goodnight!

[motorclit]

I'm 34 and a 90s kid (for perspective). Some of us (EMPHASIS ON "SOME") had helicopter parenting, too. Even before 9/11. My circumstance was weird and complicated brought about by my dad becoming disabled when he worked for the steel mill, mom having to be the breadwinner, and neither parent wanting to actually parent (aka spend genuine quality time with me or my brother) but we weren't always allowed to go anywhere so my brother played Nintendo while I watched VHS tapes (or TV if I got to pick what was on) all day.

The only socializing I got aside from the occasional weekend at someone's house were 4-H (largely doing livestock projects mom wouldn't let me say no to) and church-related stuff. We weren't even devout going to church much either. She just wanted to make sure I grew up an obedient christian (surprise! I became pagan!).

I ANNOYED my parents about wanting to go somewhere (ANYWHERE) and they always made excuses. It eventually came down to every Friday dad took me and my brother to Blockbuster (he got a game, I got a movie), he dumped us there while he went to Kroger (wanting a break from us despite him largely ignore us at home), then we went to Burger King, then home. Every weekend.

My schedule as a child was incredibly predictable at my parents' convenience. Because that's what they value. CONVENIENCE. Hence why they're anti-maskers right now.

I asked them if we could go to the museum to see dinosaur fossils several times in my childhood. They always said now because it SOUNDED expensive (aka it was an inconvenience to them). I never got to go until my early 20s.

My mom one time approached me about a diary entry I wrote (can't remember what) because she found it under my mattress. I had a fit, tore the pages to pieces, and never journaled again. And she got mad about it.

I learned NOTHING about sex and because of how taboo the subject was, I thought books on it were illegal until 2012. That's when I bought a LOT of books on the topic. (Books helped SO MUCH but now fashy bastards wanna ban them.)

Being unrealized/undiagnosed Autistic didn't help with me making actual friends very much but my parents not wanting to take me anywhere that I personally wanted to socialize made socializing at all difficult for me. However, my social skills are ruined since we moved back to this farm (you literally can't safely go anywhere without a car were so out in the middle of nowhere), all of our friends living nearby are busy with their lives, and my parents don't understand despite them knowing I'm Autistic?

Looking back, all of the socializing I did were through what my parents forced me into (4-H and some church stuff to "increase my college eligibility chances") were so they had something to brag to other adults about when the topic of their own offspring comes up. My parents now see me as some sorta failed investment. They can't do the classic American "keeping up with the Joneses" facade they've been raised to be expected to do. So when people ask them how their last living kid is doing (my brother died in 2011), nothing more than a "she's fine" and the subject switches.

Got visitors? Especially from other family members? I got a look from my parents that's demanding I don't do or say anything weird. Know what I do? I be my awkward-ass self. Because I'm so sick of wasting my life trying to live up to my parents' UNREALISTIC expectations.

My dad USED to tell some people that he'll EVENTUALLY have grandkids despite how often I tell him "never" and he just smiles and keeps saying "eventually." That doesn't happen anymore since I got that laparoscopy for my endometriosis and got an ovary and both fallopian tubes removed. (Surgery happened in autumn of 2021 but now I need to see my doctor because I can't tell if I'm in perimenopause or if it's endometriosis still, yay!)

These days, it makes me wonder if many parents these days had kids not only because it was expected of them, but so they can have something to brag to other adults and feel like they did something useful. As if their worth is measured by how much of a social conformity trophy they can make their kids into.

And that's what the wealthy elite want. Conformity. That's why no one should stray from the norm. Conformity means easier control of the masses. Conformity pressures can be pushed by obedient masses to keep the wild cards in check. Wild cards are dangerous to the ruling class.

Be a wild card. Steal their reverse and skip cards for future use. Play tarot cards when they make you draw 4 or more. Flip that table. Blast whatever rebellious music at them that speaks to your very soul. Being grounded isn't the worst thing that can happen to you for the most part. (Unless you have extremely abusive parents that could leave you completely homeless or harm you physically, then I understand.)

If your parents don't monitor what you do online (I had the privilege of having (and still having) technologically ignorant parents, so I escpaed into the internet in the mid 00s when i had my own connection in my room), check out some alternative subcultures that exist such as punk, goth, etc. and see if you feel comfortable in such scenes. You can learn a lot from those people just by reading their conversations and stuff online and it may prepare you a bit for when it's time to actually socialize. (I recommend checking out Angela Benedict on YouTube since she's a goth from the 90s and has a video somewhere on how to set up your own house party. She talks about a lot of stuff people used to do in the goth scene back in the day, and even non-goths can take some notes. But she has made mistakes and close calls, so PLEASE listen to her when she tells you not to make the same mistakes.)

To conclude this rant-like reblog (sorry!) I would like to add that if you want to get used to not having your phone on you (but still like.. near you?), just leave it in one room that you're not in. But this can be difficult depending on your own personal needs. (I use the period tracker Drip which does no need access to the internet and doesn't share data whatsoever, and I like to take pics of wildlife on the farm when I'm outside for stuff like iNaturalist to stay sane on this farm. So I get if you can't do that.)

here's my hot take about my generation and people younger than me (I'm 22 years old)

The reason current teenagers and people in their really early 20s are conservative on accident and have such shitty takes on the internet is because our generation was much more sheltered than previous generations and because we were raised to be ok with orwellian servailence and that is 100% the fault of our parents, Reagan Era kidnapping panics, and the rise of technology all coming together to prevent us from doing the sketchy shit that sends parents into panic mode but which is also completely fundemental to childhood development. If your parents had even a crumb of money to their name and even a shred of free time they started tracking your phone as soon as it was possible to. I did not experience this because my parents are actively trying to live like it's the 1990s and still have not gotten cell phones of their own, and did not let me have one until I was 18 years old and it was no longer their choice, but literally over half of my friends in middle and high school had their phones tracked by their parents at some point or other, and we would occasionally find this out, not because their parents told them, but when we were trying to do the aforementioned sketchy shit and their parent's car would pull up. And I would, like a reasonable person after finding this out, encourage my friends to just leave their phones at home, and their response would be "What if I get kidnapped" or "My parents are just trying to keep me safe"

This in my estimation has lead to a combination of kids being terminally online because they do have internet access and are better at deleting search history than their parents think they are, but don't have the freedom to go out and do shit without their parents' knowledge or consent, so they have the most privacy from the people who control their lives while they're on the internet, and kids not having the real world experiences they should have, not knowing how to connect with other people irl, not feeling comfortable leaving the house because of the horror story lies their parents told them to make them ok with the surveillance they were inflicting on their kids. Kids these days are growing up in the fucking panopticon when they should be out in the woods playing with knives or stealing cigarettes from their older sibling and going out to an empty parking lot to smoke them or whatever and that shit is sticking with them into adulthood. Things that were "tee hee we could get in trouble isn't this so fun and daring" in the 1990s and 2000s have become in the 2010s and 2020s things that are "If I do that without texting my parents some sort of lie to excuse where my location is my parent's car will pull up and I will get grounded for the next two weeks."

Like even when I was 19 I had a 16 year old friend who would volunteer their time at a food shelf and that's how we knew each other. We would talk about dungeons and dragons together, and the game store was 4 blocks from the food shelf. One day we left the food shelf earlier than they had told their parents they would and they got punished for that. We were literally just going to look at dungeons and dragons miniatures and dice, which was self evident if you could see where we started and how far we walked and where too. I have to assume that this isn't uncommon. It's wrong, but it's not uncommon.

[amieravenson]

My 10 Favorite Magickal Stones

I love rocks, minerals, and crystals. I always have. As a kid, I used to crush quartz that I found in the back yard with a hammer, swearing that there were diamonds inside. As I got older, my parents started taking me on field trips to dig fossils and minerals, and when I was 16, my boyfriend at the time enrolled me in the Georgia Mineral Society, where I got to go on digs once a month and collect all my little mineral treasures. The urge to collect has never left me, and I still buy rocks and minerals here and there, even though I really don't have anymore space for them. Even my father-in-law, who also collects minerals, has been giving me some really top-notch specimens. But I do have some favorites. It was tough to narrow it down to 10, but here we go in no particular order.

Rutilated Quartz

This is definitely in my top 3. I've had a fascination with rutilated quartz for as long as I can remember. The brilliant rutile needles included in the quartz glimmer and shine in the light. It's so beautiful. Furthermore, I use rutilated quartz to make connections. The straight needles help me find the clearest path from A to B, and so I use it in tarot readings quite often. I also use it as a crown chakra stone to help connect me to the divine.

Moss Agate

This is like pure nature in a stone. The spirit of the forest resides in moss agate, and it's a great stone to use to connect to nature when you can't go outside. It's also really good for grounding and thinking about practical matters. I'm a Capricorn Sun with no other earth placements in my chart, so grounding stones are really good for getting me into my best state.

Chlorite in Quartz

Are you getting the idea that I love stones with inclusions? The past 3 stones have all been some sort of included quartz or agate (another form of quartz). Chlorite is important to me, however, because 1. It's stunning. It creates landscapes inside the quartz that look like mountains and forests. 2. It's known for assisting in shamanic journeying. And it's no wonder. With a little world inside, you could journey into the crystal and find the wisdom there. I love it so much!

Petrified Wood

I love the idea that over time, anything can be replaced by minerals. Petrified wood is just so damn fascinating to me. And it comes in so many different forms, I love it! I have petrified wood that has been replaced by druzy smoky quartz crystals, and a slice of a petrified limb with colorful patterns inside. It helps to bring me back to the past, and look at transformations I've undergone already. It helps me see the beauty in transformations to come. Good stuff.

Ammonites

Ammonites have some similar qualities as petrified wood, but you can find ammonites with some really great patterns. They look almost like they did when they were alive. Or, sometimes you can find them replaced by colorful, iridescent ammolite, which makes beautiful pieces of jewelry. I like to use them to spiral back through lifetimes, or to spiral backwards and speak to the ancestors. I use them for anything having to do with the past.

Quartz Crystals

Quartz crystals are the Swiss army knives of the mineral kingdom. They can be used and programmed for pretty much anything. But that's not why I like them so much. I like them because of the incredible variety of forms that you can find them in. I also love the healed fractures that form rainbows in the middle of quartz crystals, and I especially love them if they have inclusions. I tend to use them for clear vision when I'm doing readings to predict the future.

Garnet

Garnet is my birthstone, so I naturally have an affinity to it. However, its properties of strength, courage, and motivation are HUGE to me. The red varieties resemble pomegranate seeds as well, which ties it to Persephone, though there are green, orange, brown and purple varieties as well. It also forms a really beautiful crystal shape, and you can even find star garnets out there. Beautiful!

Apatite

As a throat chakra stone, apatite is especially suited to helping with clear communication. It's great for when you want to express yourself verbally, but also great for creative pursuits where you're trying to really express a unique view point. Electric blue apatite is also just gorgeous. There's nothing quite like that color!

Moonstone

Is there anything more beautiful and inspiring than an icy-cold piece of rainbow moonstone? The pinks and blues that flash under the surface are just so beautiful. And most pieces have black tourmaline inclusions, and you know by now that I adore inclusions. So it has the benefits of connecting you to the moon as well as connecting you to all things intuitive and under the surface of what we see. I love that so much!

Labradorite

I hesitated on separating labradorite and moonstone, since they're so closely related, but decided to separate them out. Labradorite is just beautiful. Where moonstone is the full moon, labradorite is the new moon. Where moonstone illuminates, labradorite obscures. It's incredibly useful for going through transitions and transformations, and I almost always have a piece touching my skin. ******** So that's it! That's my 10! Do you have favorite stones that you just can't do without? Stones that you use in your practice as often as possible? Let me know in the comments! Blessed be! Read the full article

[den-shosha]

Toman Takemichi's older brother

Pt 3

Here is finally part 3. I focused a bit more on Mikey and Reader building their sibling relationship. Next part will have Draken and Emma!

Here is part 1

here is part 2

No Tw besides the errors I might have left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Days flew by quicker than you could ever realize. In a blink, most of the hospitalized kids were out and, as promised, you drove them back home. The reason you also didn't see time pass was that you tried to deal with memories you wished to never remember. Yet, here you were, drowning in them. In the pain of seeing cops, knowing something went terribly wrong if none of your friends came. Learning only three members of your division barely survived, with only a handful left of the others who were in no better condition, left you in shock. And today, your little brother was in your shoes. Takemichi watched his friend bleed out, and die in the ambulance next to him, only to have the paramedics reanimate him. A traumatic experience you failed to protect him from, failed to prepare for.

Not to forget poor Mikey. The boy hides his pain like a champion, fooling even you until you found him crying all by himself in an empty corridor. You felt his pain like your own. How many times were you the strong one, the shoulder on which everyone could find support? But no one ever did the same.

The boy was a young leader, trying to act older than he was and no one saw his pain and struggles. Feared his darkest side, followed him without a question.

He was too much like you.

So, without surprise, you ended up taking Manjirou home with you. For the past few days, Mikey stayed by your side, barely leaving it. The others found it funny, calling you Draken 2.0 since you basically filled the same role. But you did not see it the same way. You simply were an emotional support buddy.

Being by Mikey's side this long also gave you a VIP place in the gang. You saw every little interaction, and how the young leader managed his gang. It wasn't disastrous, but a part of you didn't like what you were seeing.

At first, you thought his closest friends - his division's captains - would be his best support system. How wrong were you! Your personal experience screamed in alarm.

Everything was built on sand.

If Mikey fell, they would all go down with him. Meaning, that if the worse was to happen if the kid lost control of his anger or made terrible mistakes, they would not try to stop him. They would shut up and follow him in his descent to hell.

It both horrified you and angered you.

Friends were not there to just "go with the flow" they should be there for you. Division Captains were not meant to just follow blindly, they were there to stop and question their President when he went out of his way or made bad decisions. But the Manji gang was built around Mikey in such a way that no one ever saw anything wrong, or tried to do anything against it.

It didn't feel right.

And as you sat in a corner, staring at Mikey and the other, you wondered if anyone else could see the false smile and empty eyes. Today wasn't a good day for the blond and no one noticed. Except for Takemichi who gave you a side look each time Mikey's smile didn't reach his eyes.

It was a question of time before Sano Manjirou crack and no one was doing anything.

- "Hey Mikey, do you have anything planned today?" You asked, the second you saw the dark eyes turn darker after one of the captains said a bad joke. All eyes fell on you, worried, only Manjirou seemed curious. "Because I could teach you kids a few old tricks. Y'all could learn a few things from that old man here!"

- "And what could you teach us, fossil man?" Asked a boy you recognize as Angry or something like that.

- "Well, the Fossil man here used to be a right-hand and first division captain. And my division was half your little gang kid." Your smile grew into a smirk as they started at you in surprise. "So, what do you say Mikey?"

The teen stared back at you, most likely wondering what you had in mind, before smiling at you.

- "Let's see what you can do Y/n nii-chan!" He exclaimed, happy

If you almost choke, you showed nothing unlike everyone else who either choked or gasped.

A few minutes later, you faced Mikey out of the dojo. Both of you took off your shirt, the cold autumn breeze playing with your hair.

- "Okay, first I need to see what you can do Mikey. So go as wild as you want, I won't break" you gave a wink he didn't return

- "I wouldn't be so sure Y/n-Kun..." Everyone laughed

- "Well, what are you waiting to prove it?" Your provocation worked for Mikey's gaze turned slightly darker. Yes, the boy needed to let it go. "So come at me boy and show me why they call you the Invincible Mikey."

This time, the blond simply sprinted at you. His speed was remarkable, and so was his flexibility as he tried to give you his signature kick. But you blocked it, closing your hand on his ankle in an iron grip. The next second, your forearm hit him down there and as he bends in pain, you finished him with your knee against his forehead.

You heard all the captains gasping behind you as Mikey fell to the ground. Ignoring them, you kneeled next to him. With a gentle hand, you chased his blond hair from his face.

- "Mikey it's okay. Let it go. I can take it kiddo and you need it. Forget them, focus on me, and don't hold back. Let me be your punching bag." You whispered as you petted his head.

- "I don't want to hurt you" he whispered back, face blank.

- "I promise you, you won't." You smiled and took his small hand in yours. "Trust me, I can keep up."

You both ignored the whispers - Did Mikey just go down this easily? No way Takemitchy's brother just beat Mikey this fast! - as you helped Mikey back on his feet.

- "Alright, one more time and seriously. I ain't playing Love tap kid." You smiled avoiding a new kick, then another, but blocked the third. That one did sting. "That's more like it!"

Over and over, Mikey attacked you restlessly, getting more aggressive with each punch or kick you blocked and avoided. In the end, two black holes replaced Mikey's eyes, sending a shiver down your spine. What the hell did this kid go through? What happened to leave him this angry? Maybe you should contact your friend therapist and get an appointment for him?

As much as you played defensive during the fight, you also threw some good hits. Each time you saw an opening, which wasn't often, you would point them by attacking suddenly and viciously. Now, Mikey's kicks became weaker as you hit his kneecap and hip just right. It must be painful to him to even put any weight on it.

And the fight went on like this without any of you two know how long. The only indication of time was the sweat covering your body and the sweet burn of sore muscles and bruises. And both your breath becoming panting and short.

In the end, you got Mikey down by again grabbing his ankle and pulling suddenly, resulting in the teen falling on his back and not getting back on his feet. Letting go of Mikey's ankle, you also laid down next to him.

- "Okay... I'm impressed kiddo." You panted turning your head to look at him. "You have my respect, Mikey." And yes he did! You didn't know a lot of thugs or others gangs members who could rival your stamina or strength. But a fifteen years old just did.

- "Thank you!" Smiled Mikey and you knew he didn't thank you only for the compliment.

Before could say anything else, a shadow fell on your chest and hug you tightly. Blond hair blocked your sight as you heard the familiar sound of your brother crying. Laughing lightly, you hugged your little brother back, patting his back.

- "It's alright Michi. I'm fine!" You kissed his hair, closing your eyes. Why was your brother so dramatic sometime?

- "Are you two really fine?" Asked Chifuyu

- "Yeah, just give us 5 minutes." Replied Mikey, his voice more tired than you imagined. "Anyway, we've been sparing for how long?"

- "Two hours! Two hours and none seemed to hear or see us!" Cried Takemichi, holding you tighter. "I didn't like seeing you like that aniki. I didn't recognize you and you were ignoring me!"

Your heart clenched painfully in your chest hearing the despair in his voice. Two hours. You could barely believe it! How did both of you keep it up for so long? In a way, you were happy because Mikey definitely needed to let it out, but you were also culpabilized about worrying your brother.

With a sigh, you slowly sat, letting Takemichi take place on your lap. Your brother was shaking like a terrified puppy and silent tears kept rolling on his cheeks. You gently chased them away with your thumb.

- "C'mon Michi, stop crying. I'm fine, we both are. It was just a little sparring and we didn't see time pass. It's nothing to cry for." As an only response, Takemichi hid his face under your chin, and you just rolled your eyes. "Damn cry baby." You looked at Mikey who sat too and started at you two. There was something in his eyes, like jealousy. So you did the only thing a brother would; you included him in the hug too. "C'mere, I didn't hurt you, right?"

- "You wish Y/n-Kun" he answered after a second of surprise.

You busted out laughing.

- "Okay, enough fun for today. Draken is getting out this evening, we should prepare something to celebrate it. No alcohol boys! He will be medicated and it won't mix well. C'mon Michi, Mikey; let's go groceries shopping and throw him a party."

Both boys' eyes lighted up and the next second they were pulling you toward your car. Smiling, you grabbed Mikey's hand tighter. If no one, besides Draken, wanted to have his back then you would. You would be there for him, hopefully preventing him to fall where no one could reach him.

Mikey looked back at you and offered you his most beautiful smile and you knew... You knew you would protect him like your own little brother.

[berryscaryskies]

Planetary - A Legacy Challenge

I love legacy challenges in the sims and I have a ton of random facts about our solar system rolling around in my noggin. So! I thought it’d be fun to try my hand at making my own challenge with each generation based around the planets themselves rather than astrology or their namesakes.

General Rules/Info:

I did not bother to make this base game compatible cuz I have all the current packs and wasn’t paying attention to what would and would not be available. sorry.

You can kinda just staple on any other legacy challenge’s rules here if you’d prefer to use them. Such as no money cheats or normal lifetime length, etc etc

Also maybe Tag Me if you decide to try it? I’d love any feedback! Though I do plan on playing this through myself and editing it if I decide anything is too much or just no fun

Sun:

You’ve always loved attention and a good spotlight, so you decided to move to the city in hopes of making it big. You’re a bright and optimistic person who most can’t help but be drawn into orbit. Unfortunately this often also draws in the attention of hate and ridicule as much as it does love and affection.

Traits: Ambitious, Self Absorbed, Hotheaded

Aspiration: World Famous Celebrity

Career: Actor

Rules:

Complete Aspiration

Master Actor Career

Make at least one Enemy

Have one public Break-Up

Max Charisma Skill

_____________________________

Mercury:

All your life you’ve watched people orbit your parent and unfortunately you are no different. Due to your parent’s fame and attention constantly being taken up by others you’ve developed an almost compulsive need to be absolutely perfect at everything you do in order to gain their approval and attention. Your only real stress relief is running and other physical activities.

Traits: Perfectionist, Active, Neat

Aspiration: Successful Lineage

Career: Business

Rules:

Max fitness skill

Master Business Career

Achieve Workaholic Lifestyle

Have no close friends

_____________________________

Venus:

You were the perfect child, straight As, good manners, and always did as you were told. And you grew up to be a beautifully mysterious and difficult-to-reach adult. You don’t have many friends or any friends really. People have said you’re a bit “toxic” to be around, whatever that means. Having found it so difficult to connect with those around you, you look towards the past in hopes that it will bring you some sort of understanding of mankind.

Traits: Mean, Lazy, Loner

Aspiration: Archeology

Career: Scientist

Rules:

Get all As in School

Have as many romances as you want but they must always fail

Complete Aspiration

Collect all Fossils

Have only 1 kid

_____________________________ 

Earth: 

Despite your love for the environment and the planet you also Really love consumerism, you just have to have your things! You try to balance these aspects of yourself as best you can in whatever ways you can, which isn’t always easy, but that won't stop you! You’re gonna have it all and no one can stop you.

Traits: Materialistic, Loves Outdoors, Slob

Aspiration: The Curator

Career: Civil Designer

Rules:

Complete Aspiration

Master Career

Visit the Forgotten Grotto

Keep a well managed garden

Spend a weekend camping in Granite Falls

_____________________________ 

Mars:

Your parent always dreamed big, but you prefer to dream small. You don’t need to see the world or to leave some sort of lasting impact in order to be happy. All you need is a quiet place for yourself and your animal friends to keep you company. Though, with all those animals you suppose you’ll need to make some sort of living in order to stay afloat and afford to keep them in the lap of luxury. 

Traits: Cheerful, Animal Enthusiast, Unflirty

Aspiration: Friend of The Animals

Career: Tech Guru

Rules:

Have at least five pets over the course of a Sims life

Complete Aspiration

Max Pet Training Skill

Never move worlds

_____________________________ 

 Jupiter:

Your whole life you’ve dreamed of having a big family, and well you’re a bit of a bleeding heart always having your doors open for whoever needs you. Your kids would say you’re a tad too protective and you also maybe ran into this whole parenthood thing faster than you should’ve but there’s no better way to learn than first-hand experience!

Traits: Family Oriented, Self-Assured, Outgoing

Aspiration: Big Happy Family

Career: Teacher

Rules:

Complete Aspiration

Have more than 3 kids

Adopt at least one kid

Max Parenting Skill

Volunteer as a Family whenever you can

_____________________________ 

Saturn:

You’ve always been a bit of a daydreamer, and oft forgotten as the middle child of such a big family. You’ve never been quite sure what to do with your life so you decide to put off deciding by going into massive debt and furthering your schooling! And then furthering it some more, and well now what? Guess you’ll spend the rest of your days working a nine to seven to pay off all that schooling.

Traits: Music Lover, Clumsy, Proper

Aspiration: Academic

Career: Salary Person

Rules:

Get two degrees in unrelated fields

Master Salary Person Career

Max Singing

Go Out Karaoke-ing once a week after work

_____________________________ 

Uranus:

You like to spin on your side, and that’s fine! You beat to your own drum and go at things with your own pace. It’s more fun this way anyways, though you do get a bit lonely all tucked away in your lab. So sometimes you turn to books, you’ve always loved Shakespeare, and maybe consider yourself a bit of a playwright too.

Traits: Noncommittal, Genius, Bookworm

Aspiration: Nerd Brain

Career: Engineer

Rules:

Build your own Servo

Max Writing Skill

Complete Aspiration

Master Career

Pick 2 other skills to max as well

_____________________________ 

Neptune:

As a teen you developed a bit of a nasty pickpocketing habit. At the time it was all just a form of acting out in hopes of getting your ever distracted parent’s attention. You eventually grew out of it, but it has left you with some things in your possession that you legally shouldn’t have. To avoid getting caught you’ve decided your best bet is to jettison it all out into space. Now to build a rocket…

Traits: Gloomy, Kleptomaniac, Geek

Aspiration: Public Enemy

Career: Astronaut

Rules:

Master Interstellar Smuggler Branch of the Astronaut Career

Max Rocket Science Skill

Do or Do Not complete Aspiration, up to you

Build your own rocket

Visit Sixam

_____________________________ 

Pluto:

You never really fit in with your family, too distant and cold, so upon reaching young adulthood you moved out as fast as you could. After all, you like to do things your own way, on your own, and out on the edge! Well… maybe not On Your Own, you do like having friends. You just need to get out there and meet your people, and hey live-streaming your sick stunts almost never hurts

Traits: Adventurous, Bro, Goofball

Aspiration: Extreme Sports Enthusiast

Career: Social Media

Rules:

Have a negative relationship with your parent(prev gen)

Max both Skiing and Snowboarding

Master Social Media Career

Have three roommates that wind up joining your household

Throw a gold metal keg party

[spurgie-cousin]

I have kind of a Mormon conspiracy theory to run by you and any of your followers who might know. A few years ago (okay pre pandemic so who knows) I heard from someone who was around a lot of well connected Mormons in Utah that the prominent families in the church make majority of their money from drug trafficking sales and hard drugs at that. If you’ve never heard this before and it sounds crazy, I really apologize, but the more I paid attention, the more I realized these families really did have a lot of money. I know there are a lot of quarries and fossil fuel sales going on in Utah, but this person thought it was largely a cover and they had no reason to make something like that up. I know you’re mostly fundie but what do you think? Or have you heard anything similar?

I've never heard about drugs specifically but the SLC Mormon Elites have done enough confirmed shady shit that if I found drugs were in the mix it wouldn't surprise me at all ya know?

I've definitely heard of companies being used for fronts for laundering for the church, and it's been confirmed that some big Mormon industries almost have a slavery-like system going on where lower class families send their kids to work for these companies owned by prominent members (under the guise that its part of a mission), sometimes for free or when they're breaking labor laws. There are soooooooo many industries out west that are lowkey controlled by very prominent Mormons, like some big, internationally recognized businesses. The hierarchal structure of the religion relies heavily on a big divide between the upper-class members of the church and everyone else for this reason. Like a lot of cults, there needs to be a segment of the congregation that is available to do the day-to-day grunt work necessary to maintain and grow the church.

So I don't think that's a very crazy conspiracy theory tbh, if you go down the LDS organized crime rabbit hole you'll find a lot of supporting evidence for those kinds of theories lol.

[grub-xd]

The Cryptid Specter of Amity Park

Summary:

AU where the Ghost Zone and Human World are not dependent on each other.

In a tragic alternate future, the Ghost Zone is destroyed. Phantom is alone and suffers the fate of being forgotten and fading into myth. He remains in Amity after the events of the Ghost Zone but gains a new reputation.

Drawing included (at the bottom of the fic). 

Link: AO3

Amity Park, once a smaller city, had grown to become one of the leading energy fuel exporters of the 21st century. During the late 2020s, the nations of the world had to come together to find a new way to generate electricity, as fossil fuels became scarcer and made the climate crisis worse, most of these nations invested into green energy. The town of Amity Park had decided to investigate whether it could harness a different type of green energy, ectoplasm, as a solution to these crises. By 2035, the Fentons, in collaboration with Axiom labs, discovered a way to harness ectoplasm and convert it into electricity. It provided the cleanest energy along with the highest energy yield output than any other fuel source, and the mines were relatively inexpensive to establish. With this success, many nations began investing in their own ectoplasm mines with makeshift portals using Amity Park's technology, while phasing out most other sources of fuel due to its incredible abundance and efficiency, but there was a hidden cost.

By the mid 2050s, most of the world's nations were mining their own ectoplasm from the Ghost Zone. At first, this wasn't a problem. Both humans and ghosts thought the supply was infinite, or would at least regenerate at a rate high enough to never cause an issue. Unfortunately, by the time ghosts started noticing that there were negative impacts from the mines extracting too much ectoplasm in the 2080s, humans were dependent on ectoplasm for energy to continue life, just as they had been dependent on fossil fuels.

Efforts to end ectoplasm mining failed. The detrimental effects of the lack of ectoplasm became evident in the 2090s and by the first decade of the 22nd century, ghosts who depended on the abundance of ectoplasm in the Ghost Zone to maintain their existence had faded. Ghosts who had been stronger in the Ghost Zone than on Earth no longer were, and the rebound effects from the scarcity of ectoplasm made the Infinite Realms hostile. It was no longer worth it. Those who had not fallen to the increasingly hostile environment of the Ghost Zone eventually left, in search of a place to settle on Earth. Many found their own niche places, but no ghost societies ever recovered. Most who fled simply remained as lone individuals, searching for a place to belong and fulfill their obsessions. The Observants disbanded. Clockwork faded from his form, though still maintained a somewhat ethereal presence. The monarchy collapsed. The Ghost Zone was a shell of its former self.

As king, Phantom stayed as long as he could, but even he was forced out too. Amity Park may have been the source of all of this mining and his family had a hand in his home's destruction, but this place still meant something to him. This was what he knew. The people he loved and cared for once lived here. All he has left of them now are in his memory. He didn't want to leave where these memories had been made, so he stayed. Phantom would wander about the town, observing all that had changed. His parent's house, Casper High, downtown, the Nasty Burger, the forest, among other things.

Centuries passed. Humanity was able to use older sources of energy to supply themselves before all the ectoplasm ran out. When it did, most ghosts on Earth had faded. Phantom remained for some reason. He never found Vlad nor Ellie. He's not sure if they are still around anymore. He's looked ever since he left the Ghost Zone but never turned up with anything. Hope of ever finding them left Phantom too. During the passing of that time, Phantom faded from the legend he was in Amity Park into myth. His story about defeating Pariah Dark and saving the town were forgotten. Records that showed his good (and bad) deeds, old newspapers and such, were lost to history.

As with many myths, the kids of the future Amity Park would grow interested in the myth surrounding Phantom. He had earned the name "The Cryptid Specter," as no one could ever get a true look at him before he would notice them and suddenly fade himself out of sight. Most never chased the lost legend. Some kids however would occasionally hear about this myth and attempt to find him. Most of the rumors suggested that he could be found near a specific spot in Amity Park's forest, near its edge where it meets the plain, at night, when the stars were at their fullest.

At that spot, Danny, that was my old name, right? he would think to himself, would hover and gaze at the stars, wondering why he had to be alone and pondering how he could have saved the Ghost Zone from the fate it had suffered. This spot didn't have much meaning to him per say, but it was peaceful and it could bring him a sense of calm that he could find nowhere else. It gave him the strength to just be able to consider these questions.

Why? Why must I travel eternity alone? It's been how many years? 300? Or was it 600? Time blends together more as more of it passes. It's funny, despite forgetting my own name, I can remember Sam and Tucker, Jazz, Clockwork, Vlad, my Parents... heck, I even Mr. Lancer! I guess that shows where my focus was, with others, more often than even my own self. He can't handle it; he breaks and falls to the ground, near a rock.

Finally vocalizing his pain, accompanied by his tears, "I blew it! I really blew it! I failed to protect the Ghost Zone and all of those ghosts. I wish I could have done something different! Something that would have prevented all of this! Something where I wouldn't be left with this fate! Left to suffer alone, in my old home town, but is completely hollowed! All of those who I cared about have moved on! Why can't I!? Why does it have to be this way!?" He collapses completely and falls on the nearby rock, letting the sobs go to hopefully expunge his pain. As Phantom lied there, a stick snapped. Its echo muted his sorrows and drew his attention back towards the dark forest. He heard a couple kids whispering and asking if they could see "The Cryptid" anywhere, and that they had heard the cries coming from this direction. They may have heard him but they are not going to see him tonight. They can't... I'm not ready yet, he thinks to himself as he quickly fades from sight.

[gunterfan1992]

Episode Review: ‘Wizard City’ (Distant Lands, Ep. 4)

Airdate: September 2, 2021

Story by: Adam Muto, Jack Pendarvis, Kate Tsang, Hanna K. Nyström, & Charley Feldman

Storyboarded by: Maya Petersen, Hanna K. Nyström, Anna Syvertsson, & Aleks Sennwald, & Haewon Lee

Directed by: Miki Brewster & Jeff Liu (supervising), Sandra Lee (art)

An episode focusing on Peppermint Butler’s dark side is something that the fandom has craved ever since the little guy demanded Finn and Jake’s flesh in season two’s “Death in Bloom.” While installments like season five’s “The Suitor” and season six’s “Nemesis” did much to scratch that itch, the story of the Dark One remained mostly unknown…

And after “Wizard City,” it still remains largely unknown. But that’s OK, because instead of focusing on the character’s history, this special focuses on Peps’ quest to relearn magic at a magic school. Put most simply, this special is largely a fun excuse for the show to riff on Harry Potter and The Owl House-style “magic school hijinks,” and it mostly all works.

The special follows Peps quest to go to WizArts (a definite play on CalArts, the school that Pen Ward and Adam Muto, among many others, went to) so that he can relearn magic and once again become one of the greatest dark wizards of his time. Initially, Peps tries to make friends with cool kid Spader and his posse, but once they learn that Peps is not as talented at magic as they had initially thought, they kick him to the curb. It is at this point that Cadebra, Abracadaniel’s adorkable niece who is fascinated with stage magic, enters the picture. Cadebra tries everything in her power to befriend Peps, but Peps pushes back, since she’s not “cool.” It does not matter, though, because both Peps and Cadebra are sorted into the same “house”—the “Skink House—and are forced to work together.

While Peps and his cohort begin learning more and more complex magic, a secret cult of school professors, led by the otherwise caring Dr. Caledonius, are scheming to resurrect Coconteppi, a powerful dark wizard whose putrid heart has been discovered underneath the school excreting a very powerful ichor. The school cult kidnaps Spader and gives him some of the ichor to drink; they hope that because of his talent, he will be able to house the spirit of Coconteppi. This does not go as planned, and Spader is graphically killed (albeit off screen). (In a more humorous moment, Bufo, the scam wizard from season one’s “Wizard,” also ingests some of the ichor, believing himself powerful enough to handle it, but it kills him.)

Eventually Peps and Cadebra learn what is going on. Dr. Caledonius welcomes Peps, believing that he is strong enough to handle the ichor. When Cadebra’s life is put in danger, Peps reluctantly gives the putrid fluid a swig, which infuses him with the power of Coconteppi. Coconteppi-Peps then kills all the cult members before Cadebra manages to remove the ichor from Peps body. For uncovering a heinous plot, Peps is promoted to the highest house, “Salamander,” but he decides to remain a Skink and learn magic “the hard way” with Cadebra as his friend.

As I mentioned near the start of this review, “Wizard City” spends most of its time riffing on the “magic boarding school” trope, with much of the episode feeling like a light-hearted parody of Harry Potter: The characters, after all, are “sorted” into “houses,” they learn various types of magic from skilled “professors,” and they bunk in different parts of a large castle-like campus. Of course, Harry Potter didn’t invent the idea of a boarding school, but when setting your story in a school for magic, it is very hard not to lean at least somewhat into the Hogwarts relation. And this really is a double-edged sword, for while Harry Potter references can be fun here and there, they can also make the overall story feel like a fanfic parody. This special does a good job focusing more so on the characters rather than the setting, but I won’t lie, at times it did feel as if they show was really trying to make you realize it was making a Harry Potter joke.

Of all the characters introduced in the special, the breakout star is easily Cadebra, voiced by Chloe Coleman. Radiating a sort of Mabel Pines energy, Cadebra is the beam of optimism who shines brightly in an otherwise macabre special. There is something about her plucky personality and sense of wacky individualism that charms the viewer. I appreciate how the show compared and contrasted her with her uncle, the one and only Abracadaniel: like her uncle, Cadebra is a good person who wants to help others, but unlike Abracadaniel, she has a sense of courage and fortitude that results in her taking on a Coconteppi-possessed Peps at the episode’s climax. (Say what you will, Abracadaniel stans, but our favorite custodian would never have done that!) Thanks to her bravery and dedication to Peps, Cadebra is easily the heart of the special.

The episode throws an interesting little curveball into the mix by having the ‘ghost’ of Past Peppermint Butler constantly haunt Peps in the here-and-now. Past Peppermint, it seems, was so determined to become a great wizard, he cursed himself, so that if anything were to go awry, his Past self could materialize and set him straight. It’s confusing, but I do think that mixing the “overbearing parent” trope with a curse is a clever idea; it gives the whole special some dramatic heft. The whole setup is made even funnier by the special’s conclusion: After Future Peppermint Butler is ‘defeated’ and the day is saved, Peps reveals to Cadebra that he still wants to be a great and powerful dark wizard… but he wants to earn that power through hard work and determination. (Peppermint Butler might commune with demons, but he would never sell his soul to one for power; Glob helps those who help themselves, ya know?)

One of the special’s strongest points is its background art. Adventure Time always had some beautiful set pieces, and this special goes above and beyond to give WizArts an ancient sense of grandeur and mystery. Ghostshrimp, a freelance artist who was the show’s lead background designer during seasons 1-4, return for this special as a “visual developer”—basically, he mocked up a bunch of rough designs for the locales, and then the episode’s background artists worked up the final pieces in his style. On his podcast, Ghostshrimp mentioned how hectic he found Adventure Time to be, because he was used to taking his time on pieces. As such, the decision to bring him on for just development was smart, as it allowed him to still come up with iconic background designs while also playing fast and loose with everything. Hopefully the show will continue this approach with the Fionna and Cake miniseries that is coming up. After all, Ghosthsrimp’s style is the look of Adventure Time.

Another strong point for the episode is its voice acting. For one thing, you have your regulars like Tom Kenny and Dana Snyder, and Duncan Trussell, who all give a solid performance. But to voice many of the special’s new characters, the show brought on a bevy of fun actors: Saturday Night Live’s Bill Hader, for instance, is now voicing Bufo, and he does a solid job hamming up his role as the old fogey. And then there’s Toks Olagundoye, whose British accent gives Dr. Caledonius a sense of knowledge and expertise. To my delight and surprise, SungWon Cho, an internet personality and voice actor perhaps better known as ProZD, was tapped to voice Brain Wizard, and he does an excellent job. And finally, Anthony Stewart Head, a very talented actor who I know best as Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, voices Con Wizard, and is even given a fun little ditty to sing. I can safely say that the voice acting in this special is likely the best of the bunch, and it’s obvious that the actors were all having a great time playing their parts.

What drags the whole thing down, in my opinion is the excessive murder. (I joked on Twitter that during the climax of “Wizard City,” it felt like I was watching an Adventure Time-ified version of Invincible!) Infused with the power of Coconteppi, Peps goes on a brutal killing spree, boiling Potable Wizard into steam, zapping Dimension Wizard into another plane of existence, smashing Berdzerd, and—perhaps most graphically—excerebrates (had to look that word up!) Brain Wiz. On Twitter, @sometipsygnostalgic​ argued that while, yes, the scene is startling, it does wonders to transmute “a poor Summer Camp Island knockoff [into] Adventure Time chaos.” The more I think about it, the more I think that’s a fair point; after all, this is hardly the first dark thing that has happened in Adventure Time. But the part that I cannot really stomach is the fact that Spader was murdered for no real reason, and the special ends without anyone really expressing their horror at the situation. Sure, Spader was a schoolyard bully, but he was also a child. And killing a child—either for the drama or the lulz—feels decidedly out of place in an Adventure Time episode. It’s hard to express, but it just felt unnecessarily nihilistic and mean-spirited.

All things considered, I think this was a fun episode, but it was somewhat underwhelming for a ‘finale.’ Much of this is because it had to air after the perfection that was the back-to-back “Obsidian”/”Together Again” wombo combo. But I can’t help but feel like this special just felt a little... off. A little too meanspirited, and it leaned a bit too much on standard tropes. Still, it was a fun spin, and I know that I’ll rewatch it.

Mushroom War Evidence: As Peps rides the bus to school, he passes a bunch of abandoned houses, some of which are buried in the ground. There is an unexploded bomb above the fossilized elephant in the school. Cadebra has a dream that takes place in the ruins of a city.

Final Grade: B+

[oh-boy-me]

I just read both the australia and museum post and the chaos levels are top tier, but like imagine the chaos that ensues if lord diavolo discovers about amusment parks and immediately just buys tickets to disneyland. Lucifer is basically the dad trying not to loose his children(lord diavolo included). Lord diavolo wanting to ride a loopy rollercoaster and just having the time of his life! (Also I highkey see diavolo ordering lucifer to make a disneyland in devildom tbh) Also mouse ear headbands!

This..... this took forever

Hey there anon!  Sorry it took literally a year to answer this!  If you’re still into Obey Me, I hope this was a pleasant surprise.

Also for the first time ever a scenario post is being put under the cut for length purposes.  This scenario is 2.6k words Jesus

Please note that the last time I went to Disney was in 2015, so anything that’s newer than that is taken from the extensive reading of Disney advice blogs I read in preparation for this post.  Anything older than that is likely from experience.

Also, I tried my best to keep this spoiler free for the attractions that can be affected by it.

--

So the Devildom DOES have the concept of amusement parks.  I slept on this ask for so long that we’ve learned about Devil’s Coast.  It seems to be more akin to a smaller-scale theme park, though.  Small-ish.  I’m used to NYC idk what constitutes as small.

Something like Disney World is on such a larger scale!!  When Diavolo heard about that, he knew they had to go.

They are going to Disney World in Orlando because it’s the only one I’ve been to.

Lucifer is REALLY getting tired of these field trips, but there would be no weird animals, and there would be no sobering lessons on global extinction events at a family-friendly amusement park.  He.  He can handle this.

Solomon has actually been banned from all Walt Disney theme parks.  We’re talking blacklist-level banned.  He’s barred from ever entering any Disney park ever again.  However, this was back in 1976, so this must be, like, his son or something, right?  There’s no way this is the same guy.  Thought the security guard who let him in.

What did Solomon do to get banned?  When asked, he only gave a curious hum.  “Yeah, I wonder.”

The place is split into four parks, so they’ll spend one day in each.

Barbatos continued to flex his power as the only one in the group with a brain cell, being sure to get them all fast passes.  He even set time back just for the passes while they were booking the rides they wanted to cut the lines for, so if they don’t get used he’s going to be very snippy.

Also for convenience sake this is taking place in an AU where everything is the same but COVID doesn’t exist to shut down some rides and attractions.

Day 1: Hollywood Studios

MC and Simeon basically have to coerce Lucifer into letting everyone run free instead of making them all line up with a walking rope all day.  He relents on the condition that everyone checks in periodically so he can at least know they haven’t killed anyone.

Nobody will check in except for maybe Beelzebub and those at Purgatory Hall.

Levi immediately gathered his fellow Star Wars fans (which basically meant calling over Mammon Belphie and Asmo and then pulling in two unsuspecting people suddenly given the title of “Star Wars fan”), and made a beeline for Galaxy’s Edge.  There’s a LOT to do there and damn it if he wasn’t going to hit all of it.

First up for their group is the interactive Millennium Falcon Smuggler’s Run.  They fail the mission.  Levi’s pretty pissed, but everyone agrees that it was fun nonetheless.  They really felt like they were doing a mission in the Falcon!  Plus, the gameplay element was totally up the alley of most of this group.  Simeon does feel a little nauseous from Luke’s jerky steering, though.

Did you know that Diavolo loves Toy Story?  He does.  He’s very much enjoying the Slinky roller coaster with Barbatos.

Barbatos would rather be spending time at the shows and performances, but oh no god forbid we don’t get an autograph from Doc McStuffins.  Lucifer please come find him and save him.

Lucifer somehow wandered into the Frozen Sing-Along Celebration.  He wants out.  Barbatos please come find him and save him.

In general, Lucifer isn’t a fan of these sorts of places, so honestly he’s just hiding from the others and waiting for today to be over.  Barbatos told him that there are parks that don’t revolve around rides and characters, and he’s holding out for those.

Luckily for them Diavolo wants to do LITERALLY everything, and that does include the shows, so Barbatos and Lucifer can have at least some fun today

Levi, Asmo, and Beel are about to start their relay for getting character autographs when Satan shows up out of nowhere and starts dragging everyone over to the Tower of Terror.  Solomon bars all attempts to flee on a certain Avatar of Greed’s side.

The line to the Tower is so long, and honestly?  Satan feels like the ride didn’t live up to the literal hour they waited to get on.  Like yeah it was fun, but way too short.

He voices those thoughts, and Levi, who Satan knows is afraid of heights, is pretty fucking livid and drags him to Rock n Rollercoaster as revenge.  Satan hates roller coasters.

As for the others, Asmo and Luke have a lot of fun on the thrill rides.  Mammon and Simeon do not.  Beel is a little spooked by them but still manages to have fun, while Belphie and Solomon think they’re alright.

Eventually, Simeon gets too sick to move, and they assign him to Luke.  They say it’s because he’s too short to ride some of the rides (even though he’s literally not, screw you guys.)

Barbatos messes with time a lil bit so they can enjoy the Fantasmic Show and Fireworks to wrap the day up.

Levi is very jealous of Diavolo’s Doc McStuffins autograph.  Somehow Asmo has Buzz Lightyear’s number.

Day 2: Animal Kingdom

Satan is vibrating

He literally instantly sprints to the Kilimanjaro Safari.  And good for him; that’s something best done while the sun isn’t high up.  The whole gang actually agrees to check that one out, and while Satan isn’t thrilled to be within 50 feet of Lucifer, he’s glad Simeon is there because he remembers how his presence lured animals out in Australia.

Simeon also finds himself pulled along the trails by Satan and parents watch in horror as a gorilla gives him a friendly pat on the back.

If you didn’t know, Animal Kingdom is divided into the two continents of Asia and Africa, as well as the secret eighth continent Avatar (2009).  Diavolo heard great things about the Flight of Passage ride, but he totally forgot to tell Barbatos about it, so they’re stuck on a three hour wait line now.

Levi takes Luke on the Everest roller coaster because Simeon saw it in the distance and looked like he was about to cry.  Levi wouldn’t shut up about how the yeti effect needs to be fixed and Solomon had to explain that the effect literally couldn’t support itself.

Simeon, having escaped a roller coaster for the first and only time on this trip, grabs lunch with Lucifer and Solomon and they enjoy the Lion King performance together.  Solomon’s the only one of them who’s seen the movie, but the others still found it fun.  Solomon keeps making up random plot points that don’t exist, though.  Remember when Simba was captured by pirates?

Mammon found the Bugs Life show very scary.  Normally Asmo would laugh at him, but he’s afraid of any bug he’s never seen before and at least Mammon was afraid of the things that were supposed to get you.  They agree that bugs are still not their friends.

Satan has many things to say about the Dinosaur ride and most of them aren’t good.  Belphie thought it was pretty ok, though.  Lucifer can’t believe there was a sobering lesson on a global extinction event at this family-friendly amusement park.

Diavolo is still in line.  Barbatos abandons him.  He accompanies Luke to the kiddie fossil thing and actually finds it more tolerable.  Oh yeah that’s the other secret ninth continent, Dinoland.

Beel and Belphie spend most of the day together at the various petting zoos.  Belphie comes back knowing more than he ever wanted to about conservation.  He thought Rafiki’s Planet Watch was going to be about watching other planets, not this one!

Asmo gets very interested in the costumes of the performers, as well as the parrots in the bird show.  He could probably make some really colorful designs with those as inspiration.

Nearby, Mammon runs into Kevin and squawks in surprise.  The zoo staff spend the next two hours trying to find the bird that escaped.

Diavolo says the ride was worth it, don’t worry.

Honestly this park has a lot of stuff that wouldn’t translate well to a funny scenario post so this part might be a little short compared to the others.  I can only talk about a zoo for so long.

Anyone remember the Honey I Shrunk the Kids 4D show?  Apparently it closed in 2016 to make room for more Star Wars stuff.

Anyway, at the center of it all there’s the Tree of Life, which is really pretty all day.  Lucifer is thrilled to have a decently obvious meet-up place, too.  They get to catch the brief awakening show at night.

They’re very bummed to learn the Rivers of Light show isn’t happening anymore, so Levi pulls it up on his phone so they can watch it in spirit.

Then Satan learns about the Wilderness Explorers badges and the others spend the rest of the time preventing too much collateral damage over the fact that nobody told him.

Day 3: Epcot

Finally, Lucifer thinks.  Boo, Luke thinks.

Beel didn’t expect this park to be that interesting to him (he’s much more into the wonder and immersion of Hollywood Studios and Magic Kingdom), but then he learned about the restaurants.  China, Norway, France, Mexico, Germany, Morocco, Italy, Japan, Canada--Canada?  Huh.  Canada.  There’s so many different restaurants from so many cuisines to try, and yeah he knows that it’s definitely not the same as going to the place and it’s overpriced (sorry Lucifer), but it’s all right there.  He makes certain to take MC on a deluxe Epcot restaurant tour.

Oh yeah MC.  That’s the first time we’ve heard from them in a while.  They’re doing whatever you want them to I guess.

Levi buys so much from the Japanese gift shops that he has to go back to the hotel for a bit to drop his bags off.

Satan and Diavolo aren’t much better, but their stashes are more varied.

Also, Diavolo found Mouse Gear, and bought everyone a pair of ears.  Lucifer says that everyone has to keep them on because it’s what Lord Diavolo wants, but he is by far the most upset about them.  Mammon snaps a picture and Lucifer throws his DDD into the lake.

Asmo and Belphie decide they’re gonna take it easy this day, and they nab Solomon and Barbatos for some exhibition hopping.

Luke finds Mission Space and please father no Simeon thought he was safe he thought he was safe here no please

Aside from that, though, Luke honestly finds this part of the park boring.  He’d have been more interested in these attractions elsewhere, but as a kid he’s in Disney for roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.

Simeon is very grateful that Luke doesn’t have much that he wants to do, because it means that he can enjoy the Gran Fiesta and Living with the Land boat rides and have a single moment where he doesn’t feel like he’s about to be sick.  He’s not even afraid of the rides; he just gets motion sick easily.

Asmo makes sure to see the Chinese acrobat show, and Mammon catches that with the show-hopping gang since there isn’t much he wants to do here either.

Epcot has alcohol and Solomon hasn’t been able to drink in ages so he really wants to spend some time doing that with MC.  No demons allowed, thank you very much.  He doesn’t hold his liquor as well as he’d like you to believe, but he just gets really talkative when drunk so it’s ok.

Epcot is a nice day to take a breather and Lucifer and Barbatos definitely needed a breather before tomorrow.

Day 4: Magic Kingdom

This is the day Diavolo has been waiting for.  The crème de la crop, the best park for kids and kids in a future king of the Devildom’s body.

Also I feel like now is a good time to mention that this probably isn’t a reasonable order of events because I don’t remember the map layout of these places idk Disney city planning

This time.  This time, Levi, Asmo and Beel are gonna get those autographs, dammit.  Levi doesn’t even know who half of these characters are but hell if he’s not getting their autograph.

Mammon actually really loves the mascots too, but he’s embarrassed about it so he’ll only try to get one if he can use the guise of MC wanting one.  MC, please help him out

Belphie isn’t big on rides, but he does have a soft spot for the more retro ones like Dumbo and Seven Dwarves.  And like I said before, Beel loves Magic Kingdom for its wonder.  So Belphie is perfectly happy being led (read: piggybacked) around by Beel today, because their favorite attractions match up pretty well here.

Actually, Beel’s favorite Disney movie is Lilo and Stitch, but.  RIP Stitch’s Great Escape ride 2004-2018

Diavolo and Lucifer take a moment to enjoy the Carousel of Progress, and they reflect on how much the Human World is always changing and how much about it they still don’t know.  It really does make them think, like.  Grandma found the VR games at Christmas!  The Devildom doesn’t have grandmas!

Mammon is terrified of the Haunted Mansion ride, and Satan has literally never felt so much schadenfreude in his life.

Mammon’s afraid of most rides to be fair, but he likes water rides, so Levi eventually takes pity on him and they go on Splash Mountain together more than once.

The Peter Pan ride broke down

Luke wanted to go on Space Mountain and Simeon was the only one around, so.  RIP Simeon ????-2021

Diavolo was That Guy.  If you know, you know.

Beel accidentally spun the teacups way too fast.  Not even Solomon got out of that one unscathed.

Following that, Solomon manages to drag Barbatos onto the Jungle Cruise while Lucifer is busy.  What is Lucifer busy with?  Riding the Buzz Lightyear shooting ride over and over until he hits every single target and gets a perfect score at a Disney ride, something that is normal to want and possible to achieve.  Anyway, Barbatos finds it really charming and Solomon finds it a nice break that he didn’t know he needed.

While looking for a food place that sells water for a reasonable price, a kid runs up to Asmo asking for a picture and autograph.  He’s kind of confused, but goes along with it to make the kid happy.

Turns out, Asmo’s so naturally charming that they mistook him for a prince.  Other groups see that family and follow suit.  Mammon eventually catches wind of it and shows up to charge a fee.  The parents are pretty sure Disney doesn’t charge fees like that, but their kids really want a pic with Asmo so they hand over the two bucks.  (“Oh it’s so low” come on Mammon’s not a dick to children.)

And that’s the story of how Mammon and Asmo ended up in Disney Jail.  You’re very much not allowed to pretend to be a cast member and then charge money for it.  Lucifer has to bail them out as their “guardian,” and as punishment they aren’t allowed to opt out of It’s a Small World.

Small World isn’t that bad imho, and those like Diavolo, Satan, Simeon, and Levi would like it a lot.  But Lucifer has been playing parent all day, Belphie does not like the noise, and Solomon has literally been on this ride at least fifty times.  Very mixed feelings on this one, but it feels fitting to end with that and a fireworks show.

All in all though this wasn’t the worst trip Lucifer’s been on (cue everyone applauding for some reason).

Barbatos by far had the least fun of them all because for four days he was stuck in a park where the mascot is a fucking rodent and he wasn’t allowed to annihilate Mickey Mouse where he stood

“Disneyland Devildom when” “Lord Diavolo, no”

Masterlist