#I needed to write this shower thought out

[tempobaekh]

Jacked and kind super soldier

Pairings: bucky barnes x civilian!f!reader

Warnings: FLUFFF, cutie, bucky being jacked and kind, maybe ooc bucky?

A/N: this trend is the cutest this everrrr. i HAD to write it for my fav super soldier. i also read a rafe cameron one somewhere a bit ago and got inspired by that lol. also I KNOW THAT IS THE HYDRA ARM IN THE PICTURE i just needed a picture of his metal arm kinda flexing.

The weekend was your sanctuary—a blissful retreat where the rest of the world melted away, leaving just you and Bucky in the warm cocoon of your apartment. The soft hum of the shower from the bathroom filled the air as you lounged on the couch, your phone in hand, scrolling through TikTok aimlessly. Alpine was curled up on the armrest, purring softly as if she, too, reveled in the peace.

As you swiped through your feed, a familiar trend popped up—a montage of strong men lifting their girlfriends effortlessly while Sabrina Carpenter’s “Slim Pickins” played in the background. The lyrics floated through your mind: “A boy who’s jacked and kind…”

Each video showed the guy flashing a proud smile, flexing an arm while the girl laughed, clearly enamored by the display of strength. A wistful sigh escaped your lips. The trend wasn’t new; you’d seen it countless times but never mustered the courage to ask Bucky to try it.

Bucky was still adjusting to modern life, often overwhelmed by the ever-changing whirlwind of social media and trends. While he was always a good sport about trying new things, you were careful not to overwhelm him, only occasionally roping him into your TikTok antics. Even then, you had maybe two or three TikToks of you both on your account.

But this trend? This trend stirred a little thrill in you. You couldn’t help but wonder—how would it feel to be hoisted onto his shoulder, his strength so effortless it was almost unfair? Would he smile that soft, proud smile you loved so much? Would he flex just to humor you?

Your lips twisted thoughtfully. Could you even ask? Would he think it was silly?

“Just ask,” you mutter to yourself, biting your lip as you stare at the video again. The sound of the shower shutting off jolts you out of your thoughts. Moments later, Bucky steps out into the living room, his dark hair damp and tousled, a gray t-shirt clinging to his broad chest. Alpine immediately perks up, trotting over to greet him.

“Hey, doll,” he says with a warm smile, rubbing a towel through his hair. “What’re you up to?”

You stand, heart thudding slightly as you approach him. “Buck, can I ask you for a favor?”

His brows furrow slightly, curiosity flickering in his stormy blue eyes. “Of course. What’s up?”

“Well...” you start, clutching your phone like it’s a lifeline. “There’s this trend on TikTok I’ve seen a lot. It’s harmless, I swear! But it involves... you lifting me. For a video.”

Bucky tilts his head, his expression a mix of amusement and confusion. “Lifting you? Like how?”

You quickly explain, pulling up the video and showing him. As he watches, you can see the flicker of understanding cross his face, followed by a soft chuckle.

“So, you want me to do that?” he asks, a teasing grin tugging at his lips.

“Yes,” you say with an embarrassed laugh, looking up at him with hopeful eyes. “But only if you’re okay with it!”

He pauses for a moment, then shrugs. “Why not? Seems harmless enough. And if it makes you happy...”

Your face lights up, and you throw your arms around him. “Thank you, Buck!"

Setting your phone up on the coffee table, you adjust the camera angle until both of you are perfectly framed. The familiar 10-second countdown begins, and you quickly fluff your hair, glancing back at Bucky, who’s standing behind you with an easy smile.

“Ready?” you ask, your voice tinged with excitement.

“Ready when you are, doll.”

The countdown hits zero, and the familiar opening notes of “Slim Pickins” filled the room. Before you can even do a little jump to help him, Bucky’s large hands—one warm, the other cool and firm—grip your waist. In one effortless motion, he hoists you onto his shoulder like you weigh nothing, his flesh arm supporting you.

“Bucky!” you gasped, laughing as you suddenly found yourself perched on his shoulder, your legs dangling. You clung to his shirt instinctively, though you knew he’d never let you fall.

He looked up at you with that soft, proud smile you adored.

Then, to your utter delight, he glances at the camera and flexes his metal arm, the vibranium glinting under the soft light. You giggle uncontrollably, your cheeks aching from the sheer happiness coursing through you.

When the music ends, he gently sets you down, his hands lingering at your waist as he looks at you with a soft smile. “How’d I do?”

“Amazing,” you say breathlessly, darting over to grab your phone and watch the video. The grin on your face only widens as you replay it.

Bucky walks over and wraps his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. “You’re cute when you’re excited, you know that?”

“Thank you for doing this,” you say, leaning back into his warmth.

“Anything for you, doll,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

Later, as you upload the video, the comments start pouring in, and each one makes you laugh harder.

Each comment had you laughing harder, while Bucky groaned in mock exasperation. “What is wrong with people?” he muttered, though the pink tint to his ears betrayed his embarrassment.

“Oh, c’mon,” you teased, nudging him playfully. “You’re the internet’s new heartthrob. Own it.”

He rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at his lips. “As long as you’re happy, doll.”

You leaned up to kiss his cheek. “Always. Thank you for indulging me.”

“Like I said, anything for you,” he said softly, pulling you into a warm embrace.

You snuggle closer to him, your heart full as he pulls you against his chest. For a moment, the world fades away, leaving just the two of you and the easy comfort of being together.

Note: gifs, pictures, and header DOES NOT belong to me. CREDITS TO THE RIGHTFUL OWNERS!! Feedback and reblog is appreciated.<3

[linskywords]

2024 HRPF recs

As has become my wont, I spent the last few weeks trying to catch up on some of the new fics in the hockey RPF tag that I missed over the course of the year. I definitely didn't get to everything, or even all of the most popular ones; there may also be a bias towards shorter fics here, as I was trying to get through a lot. 😅 But I hope you enjoy, and possibly find a gem or two that you missed!

First, some general favorites:

Scoring Effects by @helenish (McDrai, 30K): Ah, Helenish. A goddess among us. I love a good mistaken identity story, and this is a GREAT mistaken identity story.

barons by dilangley (MattDrai, 43K): Future fic in which Houston gets its own expansion team, Matthew coaches it, and Leon and Trevor Zegras play on it. Gorgeously done. The Trevor POV section broke me a bit, but it was worth it.

Living Things by @makeit-takeit (TK/Patty, 115K so far): I am so deeply invested in this series. It's very real and vivid-feeling future fic that does an amazingly thoughtful job exploring the NHL wife-and-kids pipeline and what happens when that doesn't fit you as well as you thought it would. The stories that are written so far feel nicely complete, but if you'd rather hold out for the full HEA, you can check out her Wild Ice for a different highlight from the past year.

put the stars in our eyes by @notthequiettype (McDrai, 17K): the McWedding story that I wish I had written. I thought it was going to destroy me, and instead it left me all warm and fuzzy.

Lost and Found by angry_geno_is_score (MattDrai, 2K): angry_geno_is_score had so much to choose from this year, as always, and I loved this as a microcosm of the hurt/comfort they do so well. If you like it, you know where to find more from them!

Next, we move to the irresistible new Sharks babies. I'm not sure I can oversell how hot these three stories managed to be:

come on (leave me breathless) by countthestars @moondoggiestyle (Will/Mack, 10K): I've already talked about how much I loved this one. There can never be too many stories of one player catching the other getting off in the shower, especially if they're as hot as this.

revising the shoreline by ohyellowbird @teex (Will/Mack, 6K): another super well done exploring-their-sexuality-while-not-talking-about-it story, aka my kryptonite.

teamwork makes the dreamwork by canary @bigdogenergy (Will/Mack and Will/Mack/Ryan Leonard, 19K): I'm sure a lot of you have already read this in the last week or so, but I couldn't not recommend it. Mack goes into heat and Will needs an alpha to help him out. Who to call but the ex?

And then we enter the realm of vaguely devastating but gorgeously written JDTZ trade fics:

home by now by donderwolk @donderwolkenblog (Jamie/Trevor, 6K): The moment they found out about the trade, and a little bit after. Brilliant, impeccable, ruinous.

heat check by jolach @hyggles (Jamie/Trevor and also Carts/Richie, 4K): Outsider perspective on Jamie and especially Trevor as they deal with the aftermath of the trade, through the eyes of Mike Richards, who may have some experience in the area. I don't know how anyone writes this well, honestly.

Finally, one of my favorite things about reading through the past year's fics is finding a prolific new author I love who I had totally missed in my year of mostly reading people I'm already subscribed to. This year it was unsay (@tungpin). They seem to have started writing HRPF this year, and they tend toward the kind of complicated sometimes-ambiguous stories that I never manage to write but love to read. Here are a few of my favorites of theirs from this year:

malt (MattDrai, 4K): Leon meets Sasha Barkov and has feelings about how he wants to be more serious than Matthew does (OR DOES HE).

accessory to the rockstar (McDrai, 5K): once again we have Leon having thoughts about how he feels more than the person he's into, this time about Connor. Bittersweet and lovely.

the care and keeping (Jamie/Trevor, 12K): in which Trevor's friends get on Jamie's case about neglecting him post-trade, and Jamie does something about it.

That's it from me, at least for now! I know there were many excellent stories this year I didn't get to, especially the long ones that I just didn't commit to while reading for this list. Perhaps this is the year I do what I've been telling myself to do for the past two years and keep track of what I read and love throughout the year. We can only dream. 😅

Happy reading!!

[princesssarahblog]

𝐣𝐣 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

SFW and NSFW

warnin: alcohol, weed, adventure, sex (first sex too) and romance

author notes: I am writing for the first time smut.. I want to write something like this with many more characters obx, next one might be rafe (idk)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ SFW

get ready for this naughty blonde diva to come to your house almost every day, at first you thought he just had nothing to do but over time you realized that your house is a new refuge for him, where he can relax and be away from his tyrant father

he is quite clingy to you (only you) jj will hug you almost constantly or especially kiss you. if you both have to be separated, he will grab you by the waist with his strong muscular arm and pull you in for a gentle passionate kiss. before the relationship, he would touch you often and try to touch you subtly to feel your skin.

we all know that jj is also a bit of a wild guy, and he might make bold and spontaneous decisions and you constantly dissuade him from his "brilliant ideas" and advise him to think logically together. but it would be better for you to make a decision yourself, and jj would help you implement it

lets you braid and style his hair when his head is on your lap or stomach, you’ll do little tiny braids or buns all over his head and he’ll love the giggles it brings out of you.

I think he's one of those guys who will sing some stupid songs he made up on the fly if you get offended by him. you start laughing at those moments, and you just shut him up, saying you forgave him, just so you doesn't have to listen anymore.

he's the kind of boyfriend who would go to great lengths to make you happy and will always be there for you when you need him. just be ready for a lot of playful banter and sarcastic remarks, this is just another display of affection from jj

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ NSFW

lots of quick rounds, this blond guy is constantly horny and needs sex urgently. he often gets horny at the wrong time and can take you away right in the middle of a conversation with friends without embarrassment

he likes it when you just turn into a puddle and can't say anything

he drives you crazy in bed, jj is just unrelenting. he needs to fill you with his cum at least 3 times. and he also loves when you hold on to his chest. he basically likes your touching his chest

you both remember your first time having sex very well. it was at your place, you were sweating and your pussy was on jj's thigh when you first saw his dick. and the guy often reminds you of it, teasing you and making you embarrassed

actually he comes to your house not only to hide from the world but also to have a good night with you. you are always afraid if your parents find out about it, your father often checks on you at night and once you almost got caught but everything worked out

will stimulate your sweet spot very strongly using your fingers, mouth and tongue. jj pulls you back in by your ankles when you try to squirm away from him, whining that you're too sensitive, you can't take anymore. it's too much

even during the solstice festival he somehow ended up having sex with you. he found you in the great hall after he escaped from rafe and you locked you in the closet. he showered you with kisses and told you how beautiful you were in the dress you wore for the festival. it was only because of you that rafe lost him and after that you and your group of friends left. and jj got to enjoy you and his favorite sweet spot.

asks you to sit on his face so he can eat your pussy!

jj intertwines your fingers together while you're riding his face cause he like that, murmuring how much he loves you, how perfect you are, how you're such a good girl for him. he also loves to squeeze your breasts and nipples in this position and naturally drive you crazy

- jj is the kind of person that will be hard to just start dating. In order to date him, you need to gain his complete trust in you. he is very protective and devoted, but all this can also quickly disappear. even if you date him, you will date him for a maximum of a week and blonde guy will dump you and you will be another girl for his own entertainment

[lovebunnie]

Viktor did not know the first time he wanted to kiss Jayce.

It was hard to keep track of all the moments because of just how many there were. Jayce was a very easy person to want to kiss, with his handsome looks and incredible mind, paired with a strong work ethic and kind heart. Viktor suspected almost everyone Jayce met in his life had wanted to kiss him atleast once.

Jayce did not seem too interested in this fact, based on the amount of time he spent in the lab right next to Viktor. Their partnership did not allow for many relationships outside of a scientific purpose; it just so happened that Viktor really liked Jayce not only as a partner but also in general, just as a person.

So really, there were far too many times to count where he felt compelled to grasp his face in his hands and press their lips together. Some nights, Viktor would imagine Jayce running into the lab with great news of a secured deal or more grant money and just plant one right on his lips without thinking, before dashing to his desk while still chirping and leaving Viktor gasping.

He thought of a scenario where he found himself in the forge one night, just the two of them in the entire building, and like something out of a trashy novel, a shirtless and sweaty Jayce would pull him in by his hips and kiss him slowly and sensually before the rest of the daydream turned into something... else.

Once Viktor and Jayce were in the midst of a heated argument about how to conduct an experiment with or without proper precautions in place, and Jayce stood up and walked towards Viktor. He thought in that moment that Jayce was going to find a less conventional way of shutting him up and before he could articulate if that would've worked or pissed him off even further, Jayce had walked out the door. The next day he came back with an apology and they moved on stronger than before.

Viktor was almost embarrassed by how badly he wanted to kiss Jayce. He thought of how much he wanted to know just how Jayce would kiss, he wanted to see that side of Jayce and keep it all to himself. Viktor had Jayce in the lab but he wanted more.

When it happened, VIktor and Jayce were on long night number six. Days had passed since either of them had left the lab longer than it took to take a shower and brush their teeth. They could feel the edges of discovery brushing their fingertips, so close to a revelation.

"Only Piltovians would get bored of the ability for humans to fly," Viktor murmured as he adjusted a screw on the bottom of their anti-gravity contraption. "Why they needed something portable is beyond me."

"Now is kind of a bad time to start complaining, V," Jayce replied as he worked on finalizing the welding components. "This is going to work this time, it has to work-"

"It will work," Viktor emphasized. "And if it doesn't, we try again."

"If it doesn't I'm cracking open that bottle of wine I know you keep-"

Suddenly, the room was flooded with vibrant blue that had the both of them scrambling backwards. While before, the hexcrystals made the entire room weightless, now everything remained as it was with only Viktor's wrench floating in the middle, suspended in mid air. It was flying. It worked.

Jayce picked himself off the ground where he has fallen back and pushed his goggle up to his forehead. "Holy shit, V, it worked!"

Viktor removed his goggles as well, mesmerized by the suspension of an object isolated within their own chamber. The blue of the hexcrystal had died down and left the room in a cool glow, and Viktor felt a smile tug at his lips. "This is.. incredible."

"Oh my god, it actually finally worked. I need to write down everything we did, what kind of screws did you use? What is the temperature of the room, what runes did we use?"

As Jayce rambled on, Viktor stood up and took in his frantic energy. His hands were moving quickly and his eyes were searching for his notebook while he paced the room like he couldn't sit down. His hair was disheveled from the times he ran his hand through it in frustration and his eye bags were getting more and more pronounced. His face was leaner and exhaustion draped over him like a blanket. Objectively, Jayce looked kind of like shit.

Viktor felt a spark in his chest, he couldn't look away.

When Jayce made his way back in front of Viktor, he smiled warmly. "This is such a huge relief, I was really starting to get concerned that we were going to have to completely start over, but now we can start with trials and-"

As Jayce spoke, the spark grew and grew until Viktor could ignore it no longer. He pulled Jayce down mid sentence and pressed his lips to his, locking them together.

Viktor's hands cradled the sides of Jayce's face, keeping him in place while Viktor pressed his lips harder and tilted his head ever so slightly. It felt right, for the first time in a long time. Viktor was used to not feeling included but in this moment it felt like it was meant to happen. Their kiss was always going to happen in the wake of discovery, how could it not?

A few seconds passed before Viktor gently pushed Jayce back, their breaths shared in the close space. Jayce was silent, and Viktor began to quietly worry that maybe Jayce did not feel like this moment was perfect to him. The thought devastated him; there would be nothing crueler than losing Jayce as a friend.

Viktor took a step back as he looked away. "I'll get started on those trials, we can start with the screws to see if-"

In that moment, Jayce reached out and pulled Viktor back towards him, connecting their lips again in a kiss. One hand made its way to the nape of Viktor's neck while the other held his jaw gently. This second kiss was dynamic and Viktor found himself getting lost in the motions. In all the day dreams he had, he never thought to imagine that Jayce would want to kiss him back this badly, this fervent need to claim his mouth. Their partnership truly knew no bounds.

Before things could get more heated, they broke apart once more and Jayce pressed his forehead to Viktor's with a gentle laugh. "I've been wanting to do that for so long."

"What a coincidence," Viktor purred as he tugged Jayce in again. "So have I."

[l-starsz]

a/n: part 2 finally! i think we might need a part 3 though.. (i genuinely did not think i’d write so much for this😭)

(part 1)

cheater billie part 2

i woke up at 10am. my head was pounding from all the crying. my mind immediately went to what had happened the previous night. i was stressed about it. i was stressed about her.

i obviously still wanted her. i mean, who wouldn’t? she was so perfect. i was just worried. i had no clue whether she’d cheat on me again or if she was serious about what she said.

i wondered if she’d actually call. maybe she didn’t mean what she said. my mind spun with thoughts for a while. until i decided to actually get up. i brushed my teeth, then went back to my room to do my makeup.

once i was done, i brushed my hair, then headed downstairs. i needed to clean, so i played some music and began cleaning the house. i was doing this for a good few hours, just making sure everything was spotless. i worked my way around the house, and soon enough it was 2pm.

i’d completely finished everything i needed to do, so i rushed upstairs to have a shower so that i could finally relax.

i felt so much better once i was out, putting some comfy clothes on and doing my short after-shower routine before heading downstairs. i went straight to the living room, curling up on the sofa under a warm blanket.

i put a movie on tv and laid there. whilst i was laying there, my mind finally drifted back to billie. it was getting later and she still hadn’t called. i hadn’t even thought about her at all. because i’d been distracted.

but it was as if she could hear my thoughts, because right as i began to focus on the movie again, my phone rang. it was loud, and startled me from my own mind. my heart began racing. my hands shook as i took the phone into my hands, slowly and carefully answering the call.

i took a deep breath when i heard her speak.

“hey, uh, i said i’d call you.” she mumbled, slightly awkwardly.

“you did.. i remember, billie.”

it felt so awkward all of a sudden. i was waiting for the call all day, and now it just didn’t feel right. it didn’t feel right speaking to the girl who broke my heart.

“yeah.. i was wondering if.. if i could take you out sometime next week? please. i planned something.”

“hmmm.. let me think about it.” i knew i’d say yes, i just wanted to see how she’d react.

i knew i shouldn’t be letting her back into my life like this. i knew it was wrong. especially after all that had happened. but i missed her. i missed her so much, i needed her. she was the only person who ever fully knew me. i still needed her.

“please.. please! i’ll do anything. i have it all planned out. i’ll make it perfect. i’ll make everything up to you, i promise.” she begged.

wow, she really was desperate. surely she wouldn’t be so desperate for me to let her take me out if she didn’t care. right? surely she would’ve given up by now if she didn’t care.

“of course you can take me out. you really think i’d say no?” i giggled.

i heard her let out a sigh of relief as i continued laughing at her.

“okay uh.. i’ll text you details! and i have one more question..”

“what is it, billie?” i quietly asked.

“can you come over tonight? please.” she whispered.

“i’ll be there later.” i smiled.

we spoke for a few minutes longer before we ended the call.

i looked over to the tv to see the movie ending. i turned the tv off and went upstairs, quickly getting myself ready and changing before leaving my house.

it didn’t take me long to reach billies house. i hesitated before knocking on the door. was i making the wrong decision? my mind was filled with doubts. part of me wanted her back, and the other part of me was screaming that this was the wrong choice. i took a deep breath, then knocked.

she was quick to open the door, leading me inside before shutting it behind me. she guided me to the kitchen, where i smelt something good. she’d made food for us? she made my favourite meal. she’d put a lot of thought into this.

a small smile came to my face, and my cheeks turned pink. she looked over to see me smiling at her work. she smiled back, coming over to me and taking my hands.

“this is good billie, you’re really trying huh?” i mumbled, looking in her eyes.

“i really want to prove to you that i mean what i said. i have lots of stuff planned. this is just the start.” she continued smiling.

“yeah? what stuff, hm?”

“that would ruin the surprise.” she rolled her eyes, moving towards the counter and dishing up some food for us.

i giggled and followed her, taking the plate she handed to me before we sat down at the table. we ate, and spoke of course. i really had missed this. and it was almost as if she could read my mind when she spoke.

“you know, i’ve missed this.. i’ve missed you. way more than words could ever explain.” she sounded nervous.

“i’ve missed you too billie. but that doesn’t mean you’re forgiven yet.” i mumbled.

“i know, i know.. i’ll make it all up to you. just like i promised.”

i smiled, but i couldn’t stop the thoughts from creeping back into my mind. what if there’s someone else again? or what if i trust her and she finds someone else? my eyes drifted down to my hands as i played with the rings on my fingers. billie must’ve noticed, since she carefully lifted my head so i was looking at her, then spoke.

“what’s bothering you, hm? you can tell me.”

“it’s just.. i’m worried. what if you find someone better again? what if i trust you and you cheat again?” tears came to my eyes, thinking back to the moment when i found out.

“i understand, i know it’s gonna be so difficult to trust me again, but i promise you that i will never do something that stupid again. you’re the only girl i ever want in my life, you mean the world to me. i completely understand if you can’t trust me again, but please just let me try to prove it to you first.” she cupped my cheeks, her thumbs running over them as she looked into my eyes.

i nodded and looked to my lap.

“thank you.” i whispered.

“don’t thank me. i hurt you, i don’t deserve this.. i don’t deserve to be making it up to you, i mean, you could’ve easily told me no, but you didn’t. thank you. for everything. i’m lucky to even get to speak to you.”

“don’t say that bil.” i whispered, “you know i’ve always cared about you no matter what. i missed you so much.”

i moved her hands from my face and held them in mine, a small smile on both of our faces.

we spent hours together before i decided to go home, it was getting late and i was getting tired. so we said goodbye to eachother and i left.

“call me tomorrow billie?”

she nodded and smiled, waving me goodbye as i left. i really didn’t want to leave. but i knew it was right. i needed to take things slow, i couldn’t trust her right away.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Lilia Vanrouge - Room Relaxation Vignette

"Happy Birthday"

[Courtyard]

[rustle, rustle]

Lilia: Heeey, Malleuuus～ Come out, come out, wherever you are～ Sebek's about to burst into tears 'cause he can't find you～

Jade: I was curious what you were up to what with your fervent rustling through the hedges… I see, you were searching for Malleus-san.

Lilia: Oh, Jade. We're supposed to be having an important meeting in the dorm right now, but he's nowhere to be found.

Jade: My, an important meeting? How fascinating. Is there some pressing issue?

Lilia: Nothing dire. Actually, the Pop Music Club decide to throw together an impromptu birthday performance tomorrow!

Lilia: And we wouldn't want it to clash with the party we're hosting at the dorm, right? So, we wanted to make sure the schedules lined up.

Jade: Aah… So that's what it was. Speaking of the Pop Music Club, I found the performance they gave during the freshmen club orientation to be utterly captivating.

Jade: To think you were putting in this much effort behind the scenes to make it happen. I'm sure this one will be just as hilar― splendid as last time.

Lilia: Well, yeah, we're gonna go all out and rock on! It'll be in our club room like usual, though.

Lilia: There's no admission to come see us this time. You should come and witness my amazingly passionate screamo.

Jade: Fufufu, just hearing you speak of it is giving me quite the thrill. I definitely will be coming by.

Lilia: Kheeheehee, I'll be waiting. …Oookay, I need to get back to searching for Malleus. See ya, Jade.

[Diasomnia Dorm – Lounge]

[Diasomnia Students chatter]

Lilia: ―Everyone, I found Malleus. Just as I thought, he hadn't realized it was the meeting time already.

Lilia: Now, we might be a little late, but we'll start the meeting now! We need to quickly chat through the important stuff, since we're short on time.

Lilia: For our Housewarden's sake, we'll start with the agenda for today…

[Diasomnia Student A speaks]

Lilia: …Hm? You've already spoken through the topics? You all thought it would be rude to bother Malleus with this meeting?

Lilia: So you're saying… I DIDN'T NEED TO GO LOOKING FOR MALLEUS～?!

[Diasomnia Dorm – Lilia's Room]

Lilia: Whew. It's a struggle having so many model students taking initiative...

Lilia: Well, now I'm done with my shower. I'm not taking one step out of my room anymore.

Lilia: Let's gooo, the sun's set already so I'm feelin' at the top of my game. My day finally starts now!

[Diasomnia Dorm – Lilia's Room]

Lilia: First, I'll do all my daily quests for my game… Huh, where's my keyboard? I swear I had it here yesterday…

[rustle, rustle]

Lilia: Ohh, here it is. It just got completely buried under this stack of papers.

Lilia: There sure are a ton of papers scattered about. This is a test from last year, and that's something I got my first year here. Oh, and this…

「Survey on Quality of Life Improvements for the Student Body」

Lilia: A survey? …Oh right, Crowley was practically demanding that it gets filled in.

Lilia: I was ignoring it, since I couldn't really think of anything to write. I guess I should finish it up before it gets buried under things again.

Lilia: But even so, what am I supposed to request…? We're kept out of the rain and wind, and have fully working AC. I also have an abundance of time to spend eating or enjoying myself.

Lilia: I am able to watch over my family learn, while surrounded by friends. It would be too greedy to ask for anything more.

Lilia: I'll just write, "I have no issues with the current quality of life," and―

[clatter, clatter…!]

[CRASH!]

[THUD! BAM!]

Lilia: Things just keep falling off their little piles whenever I turn around. …But hey, it's no big, since it's not interfering with me at all!

[knock, knock]

Lilia: Hm? Looks like someone's here, and so late at night. Coming! I'll open the door so hold on a sec.

[Diasomnia Student B speaks]

Lilia: Oh, it's just my neighbors. Don't worry, there's no problems here.

[Diasomnia Students leave]

Lilia: Dear me, that's the problem with stone buildings, they make even the smallest noise echo so loudly. Especially when it's quieter at night.

Lilia: Whenever I'd play my instrument, there'd be an uproar about some kind of terrifying sounds echoing night after night.

Lilia: All I was doing each day was playing a little drums while doing a little dance… Dorm life sure can be difficult to get used to.

Lilia: If I didn't have to deal with that, then I could watch movies at full volume, or stream video games…

Lilia: Ohh, I guess this is something I can add to the survey. "Sound travels too easily. I'd like to install a soundproofing system.

Lilia: What else…? Ah! I don't have time to be doing this. I'll miss my consecutive login bonus. I need to log in to the game right now!

Muscle Red: Farewell, see you next raid.

Lilia: Today's drop rate was trash… On days like this, it's best to just cut my losses and not keep going.

Lilia: Before I turn off my computer, I think I'll check out that online crane game. Sometimes they have some real fun prizes there.

Lilia: Ooh, that plushie armrest looks cute! How many people are waiting in line…? Oh, just one. Perfect, I'll join the queue then.

Lilia: I never thought there'd come a day where I'd be able to play a crane game from the comforts of my room.

Lilia: It has so many different things, from snacks to everyday objects, and even gives a free play for logging in. Someone thought this through real well.

Lilia: Even these dragon feet slippers I'm wearing now was something I won from using those free play tickets.

Lilia: Oh, it's finally my turn. This little plushie looks like it has a heavy head, so… I'll start by dropping the crane around here!

Lilia: Take that! …Nice, it moved like I wanted. Then now, I'll aim for the same place one more time―

Lilia: ―Now I'm just feeling waaaay exhausted… Even after it felt like it would almost fall, it still took a long time to get there.

Lilia: Everything came out alright in the end, since I got it, but… Looks like it wasn't just the drop rate in the game earlier, my luck is just no good today.

Lilia: But I was able to get what I wanted, so I'm happy with that. Winning it when I wasn't expecting it is just another kind of fun.

Lilia: Well, I guess next I'll continue watching that one drama on the streaming site… Hm? What's this recommended video…?

Lilia: My favorite band just released a new song! I gotta check out their music video right away!

Lilia: Kheeheehee, there's still so much I get to do tonight. I love how every single day is packed full of fun things.

[Diasomnia Dorm – Lilia's Room]

Lilia: Urrrgh… Urh… Bright… …Why's there sunlight?

Lilia: Oh, I forgot to close the curtains… ...Tch. …Disgusting…

Lilia: ...Ah, no, I should get up… Hrrrnnngh, so briiight!

Lilia: In the end, I wasn't even able to do half of what I wanted to do. Night sure does pass quickly…

Lilia: If I just get everything ready with magic, I could fall back asleep now and still make it in time for class… Or not, I'd probably just end up sleeping in.

Lilia: I guess I'll head to the washroom to try and wake up.

[Diasomnia Dorm – Washroom]

[splash]

Lilia: Whew! The water in the wintertime is so chilly that it wakes me right up. Now, next is…

[Diasomnia Student C speaks]

Lilia: Oh hey, good morning. I see you've come to the washroom as well, this morning. …Hm? What am I doing?

Lilia: It's skincare, S-K-I-N-C-A-R-E! You shouldn't skimp on it, you know～? For example, I'm going to…

Lilia: Hm? Was I supposed to start with this watery stuff first? Or was it the more paste-like stuff?

Lilia: …Eh, shouldn't matter which goes on first! Once they're on my skin, it'll all end up the same.

Lilia: 'Kay, skincare done! As for the makeup… Ooh, right, I should try to do the clumpy eyelash I saw in a video the other day.

Lilia: I'll just use magic to toss on my eyeshadow. Done. The eyelash curler is… Ah, here it is.

Lilia: First, I need to make sure my eyelashes are standing straight up. Like―

Lilia: …Ouch! I caught my eyelid! The road to cosmetic beauty sure is filled with pain and patience…

Lilia: Once I brush the little hairs, I need to apply mascara to make them longer before they lose their structure.

Lilia: Then, I'll use the tweezers. I need to make little clumps before the mascara dries―

Lilia: And there we go, I've given myself the doll-like eyelashes that's all the rage with the young folks these days!

Lilia: Hehe, it really goes well with my big and bright eyes.

Lilia: Next is fixing my hair style. I'll just apply some silky smooth hair milk all over my head, and…

Lilia: Then poof it to completion with a bit of magic. Kheeheehee, I look splendid, befitting of what a birthday boy should look like!

[Diasomnia Dorm – Lilia's Room]

Lilia: Okay, time to get chan… Ouch! Uuuurrrrg… My pinky toe… What numbskull left an amp right in the middle of the walking path!?

Lilia: …Right, this is my room, so the culprit can only be myself. Why does it feel like this room just feels smaller than before?

Lilia: Should I get more storage?

Lilia: …Nah, if I'm going to buy any furniture, I should prioritize getting a small tea table for when Silver and the others come to visit.

Lilia: …Haha, listen to me now. When I was filling out the survey, I thought I was satisfied with everything as they are, but…

Lilia: I can still think of more things I want, and even more things I want to do. Now, when did I learn to wish for such extravagance?

[Main Street]

Jade: Good morning, Lilia-san. Was yesterday's meeting able to go off without a hitch?

Lilia: Morning, Jade. Both the party and the performance are ready to go. Today is going to be a real fun day.

Jade: Fufu, I am certainly looking forward to see what sort of performance we'll be… blessed with today. A very Happy Birthday to you.

Lilia: Right-o! Make sure you have the time of your life during today's performance, too!

Requested by @kingren77.

[antiterf]

"Gender identity and feeling a certain gender isn't like sexual orientation. We know what attraction is!"

Okay but can you explain the feeling of being attracted to someone? Can you do it without using symbolism? Can you do it without objectification? Without the "feeling" because feelings aren't objective? We have the term sexual attraction to describe sexual orientation, and we have gender identity to describe being transgender. Both have been neglected by psychology and other sciences in regard to LGBTQ+ people and most of the time, it is, at the end of the day, multiple different theories and not a single explanation.

It took me longer to recognize romantic attraction than it did for me to recognize my gender identity. I assumed that certain things were sexual attractions when they weren't. Many gay, lesbian, and ace people go through that second one because sexual attraction can never be objectively described.

I eventually figured out romantic attraction as the feeling I get when I think someone as cute, not from aesthetics but as a person. That is not exactly specific enough for most people to understand. When combined with sexual attraction it becomes a constant yearning for the person to be next to me, the feeling that part of me is missing when they leave. I cannot separate sexual attraction from romantic, but can separate romantic from sexual. If we're going blatantly then sexual attraction would also be my want to have sex with the specific person because their body alone gives me feelings of euphoria (oh we love the oxytocin), but when comparing that to gender, that would be a sexual expression like how pronouns and clothing are gender expression.

On top of that, I can only speak for myself. Others can and will report feelings that do not match mine, but they still use the same terminology because those feelings will still fall under attraction. Trying to restrict what is and what isn't a form of romantic or sexual attraction by personal experience isn't helpful and likely more harmful.

Gender identity was the feeling that something was off and that I had one foot in the door and one foot out. That something was missing until I put the key into place. It was the feeling of euphoria when hearing my preferred name. It's the comfort I get when there's some compression on my chest because I associate binders with relief and happiness. But wait... wouldn't that second one be instead feelings of transsexualism?

I don't fucking know dude! I don't feel these things separately! Separate orgasm from pleasure and see how that works out for you!

When trans people talk about our experiences with gender identity because someone wants some sort of description, when a cis person who has never had to examine what gender identity feels like, there's not going to be much of a way to describe it where someone completely understands unless if they've experienced it before. We as trans people can go "oh yeah that sounds accurate to my experience" or go "oh no, not me, for me it's a little more like ____" but there's not much of a way to objectively describe it.

What is a woman, anyone who claims that they're a woman, is as circular as a definition as:

Sexual attraction: attraction that makes people desire sexual contact or shows sexual interest in another person(s). Romantic attraction: attraction that makes people desire romantic contact or interaction with another person or persons.

So neuroscience is used to try and find Where the Gender is Stored but the brain is such a complex organ that the shape of your brain can be used to identify you like a fingerprint. Oxytocin is what we have for attraction but which one? Does it matter? There are studies that show that the brains of trans people are different in some way but I kind of stopped caring about them years ago because I don't care! I don't care!

I'm trans, we keep trying to explain what gender identity is, why we transition, but there's always some issue on it being too vague or reinforcing stereotypes (men having flat chests with binding even though not all men do for instance).

So when you get a way to describe all of what you feel objectively that everyone can relate to you can get back to me and I'll fucking applaud you.

[triglycercule]

oh yeah before i forget cute mttpoly headcanon because i said so: when killer finds out (through SOME way of means. he has his ways) that dust and horror like something then at every chance he can he goes and finds that thing for them :3 because I SAID SO AND IT'S CUTE ‼️‼️ (something something killer has no idea how to properly show affection and appreciation after believing his whole life was meant to cause pain and suffering to those close to him and now that he's trying he does silly goofy stuff like this hehe,,,,,,, dust is DROWNING in piles of fluffy blankets and books. horror cannot keep up with eating the amount of snacks killer keeps stealing for him 😞😞😞)

[illarian-rambling]

A short ramble about the two main Illari wedding cultures because I'll do anything but actually write :D

Ok so, when it comes to religion, the world of Illaros is pretty split between the Illarian half and the Mordunyan half. The Illarian church began with the humans of Janaz, but spread to encompass the elven nations of Skysheer and Nabafyr later on. The Dwarven Alliance, which was never conquered by humans, held onto its Mordun faith. Why does religion matter when it comes to weddings? Because any 'binding of family' (weddings, adoptions, even business ventures) are very important in the Illarian holy texts, so proper Illarian weddings are one of the few things that actually got really forced onto the Nabafyrians and Skysheerians by way of the Republic government (big player in banking and business of all kinds) not recognizing people as married if they hadn't done it the 'right way.' Family is also a huge component of dwarven culture in general, so you already know their religion is gonna standardize it. Anyways, that's how we got to two main wedding cultures, with two subcultures for the surviving Nabafyrian and Skysheerian traditions.

Your run-of-the-mill Illarian wedding with no elven influences is a surprisingly simple affair. There's no engagement, for one. Partners usually decide together that they want to get married and give their social circle a few months' notice for planning. Springing a sudden 'Will you marry me?' would be seen as a really strange move in Illarian culture. Blue is traditionally a Big Event color, so lots of brides wear blue dresses, but this isn't a requirement, and many opt for other hues. Really, the only thing that makes it an Illarian wedding is that it's performed by a priest of Samara, goddess of family and the cooking fire.

The most important event of a human wedding is actually a cultural practice, not a religious one. When humans get married, they exchange gifts. This is a call-back to nobles exchanging dowries, but the custom ended up catching on with the common folk and turned into something more intimate. The humans of Illaros don't use rings to signify their love, but instead exchange gifts with their partner. A wedding gift is often the nicest thing a person will ever own. It's often completely customized - a painter might get a set of brushes made by a master craftsman, a lover of birds might get a set of runic binoculars, a farmer might get a steam-powered plow, a frequent traveler might get a pair of magically sealed boots, so on and so forth. These gifts are meant to be a purest expression of understanding and insight. It's not unheard of for someone to leave at the altar because of a bad wedding gift, or to spend a fortune trying to get the best one. Usually, a wedding gift is made well enough to last throughout a person's life.

The other thing is surnames. This one's pretty easy, though. Traditionally, the partner of lower station takes on the partner of higher station's name - 'marrying up' is the common term. In the modern era, though, this gets flexible.

Another minor tradition, smaller than the gift, is bride-talk. The first person at a wedding who offers the bride a drink is supposedly wanting advice for how to find a good match. Single cousins will sometimes compete for the chance, as it's also a good way to signal that you're 'on the market,' so to speak.

On the elven subset of Illarian wedding culture, there is no gift exchange, since that's not a religious tradition. Really, the only requirement for an Illarian wedding is the presence of a priest, so Nabafyrians and Skysheerians still tend to do things largely their own way.

Nabafyrians, of course, have to involve weapons. Usually, Nabafyrian families each have their own branch of martial art and an accompanying crest. When you marry into a family, you're allowed to learn their martial art. You may also engrave their crest onto your weapon. A smith is usually present at weddings to do this. It's up to the married couple to decide who is joining whose family, but they usually follow the human example and marry up.

Skysheerians are different in that marriage is solely a right of the nobility. Serfs can live together, share names, and have civil ceremonies, but they aren't 'married' in the eyes of the law. When nobles get married, it's far more of a business deal. Land and titles are exchanged, promises are made, and dowries are paid. Marriage for love isn't a thing, however, it's not frowned upon in the slightest to have consorts. You can go to a banquet with your husband, only to leave in a different man's carriage and no one will mind. You're binding your families, not your hearts, so who cares if you love someone else? Just so long as you're willing to legitimize any bastards, everyone's happy.

Now we get to the really different one: dwarven marriage. First off, just like how in our current irl society, alloromantic heterosexuality is seen as a 'default,' in dwarven society, that default is actually aromantic heterosexuality. Your first loyalty is expected to be to your clan. 'Falling in love' is seen as a deviant urge. With that out of the way, how does marriage work then?

A dwarven marriage, like a Skysheerian one, is a contract between two families, or clans, in this case. Except, for dwarves, a child is the express goal of marriage. Two clans will negotiate a match between two people who can have kids together. During the duration of the marriage, the father will join the mother's clan until any kid they have makes it to adulthood, after which he will leave to rejoin his original clan. The father's clan, in exchange for losing a member for eighteen years and not getting a kid out of it, will receive a massive sum of money called a hand-price. The hand-price is thought to be equivalent to the work that child will do for the mother's clan over their lifetime. So mom's clan gets a kid, dad's clan gets cash. Hand-prices generally sit at a set value, but sometimes, if someone assumes the kid isn't gonna contribute much, the mother's clan will ask for a partial refund. This is common fare for insults among dwarven children.

In places like Unity, where dwarven culture mixes with others, things are a little looser. Sometimes, a father will stay with his wife and child even after the child hits legal adulthood. Marriage not for the sake of reproduction is also increasingly common. In that case, a hand-price will be negotiated for the clan one partner is leaving, putting a monetary number on what they might contribute to the clan they're joining. Even in Unity, though, marriage always entails someone leaving their clan. Being married to someone in another clan while remaining in your own would be seen as a gross splitting of loyalties and might well end up with both partners being disowned.

Why do all of these cultures place such a strong emphasis on marriage being between two families, not two individuals? I'm not sure. Probably because they all exist together in an area of land roughly the size of Europe - there's gonna be some general vibe sharing.

Anyways this has been (looks directly into the camera) an Illarian ramble

[sysig]

Delusions (Patreon)

"Could I have your hand, sir?" Max didn't move, which Dexter was, sadly, getting used to.

"Sir?" Max jerked, then turned and stared at him, lost and blank. "Your hand, please."

Max's hand lifted shakily, and he laid it gently in Dexter's upturned palm. Dexter gave a quick and quiet "thank you," then turned it over in his own hand, observing him closely.

Too closely - his knuckles were rough and his fingernails were dull and cracked in places. His once-soft, not-a-day-in-his-life-subjected-to-hard-labour hands were now, already, toughened and split and scarred in places, especially the heel of his palm. He turned it over again, this time to stop looking so intensely. He had only wanted to give it a cursory glance to begin with.

"Do you know what I see, sir?" he asked as conversationally as he could manage, running his fingers along Max's abused flesh. He seemed to be at least half paying attention, his eye gazing down between them, and he'd occasionally twitch, encouragingly Dexter thought. He seemed to want to curl around him, then stopped and shook, his hand squeezing into a fist. Dexter coaxed him back out, encouraged him to hold himself lightly.

"What do you see?" He was almost startled by Max actually continuing their conversation, that happened so rarely now, shaking and quiet as it was. He took a deep breath, was he really going to do this?

"I see a hand, with five fingers." Max remained quiet, though his brow curled, and a guarded look came into his eye, though he still wasn't looking at Dexter. He felt a pang of guilt, but he had to try. "What do you see?"

Max's eye unfocused and began to water. He looked up, but not enough to reach Dexter's gaze in return, instead staring through his chest, and he felt just as hollow and empty as he must look to him.

"Do you take me for a fool, DAX?" Quiet and as close to angry as he'd heard since they'd been here.

No, not angry.

Betrayed.

He swallowed down the stinging lump at the back of his throat. He had to put on a brave face, had to keep his composure if he wanted Max to get better. That was the only thing he wanted, more than anything.

"Of course not, sir. Genuinely, what do you see?"

Max pulled his hand away and turned his body, his bandaged side facing Dexter. Shutting him out, pointedly. Dexter's empty hand curled into a fist, he was no better.

"Please, don't..." Max took a shallow, shuddering breath, and several beats before he spoke again, even quieter. "Don't ridicule me." Dexter could hear his breath catch, and he wanted nothing more than for this all to just stop.

"Sir, I didn't-"

"I've had enough of that." He shook his head stiffly, the action strange and wrong, like he had forgotten how. He stilled, his head turned even further away. "More than enough."

[v0idspeak]

(Hey, this thought came to me at 4am when I woke up from nightmares, drenched in sweat. The nightmares were unrelated, but it would've been very funny if they weren't.)

(The thought in question is... idk, an idea for a TMA fanfic I guess. It's not really polished or anything, and it's a bit longer than I was anticipating (it's around 1.5k words I think), but here goes. Spoilers for TMA up to... end of s4 I think.)

(CW for blood/gore, unlawful imprisonment, eye trauma, horror, possession, mention of pica, and probably other stuff I forgor)

Jon, strangely, was not all that surprised when he heard the screaming start. It was common, in a place such as this. He had not expected the man in the neighbouring cell to be the one screaming - usually, he was fairly quiet, his silver eyes watching as the other half-people in the... laboratory, or containment unit, or whatever this was slowly succumbed to forces most could not wrap their heads around.

He had explained his own understanding of the situation with cold detachment: not a single one of the people in cells were actually people. Most had never been; some had recently Changed. The ones roaming the halls were a... more complex bunch.

Most were human, strictly speaking, he said. A few were not in any sense of the word, save a thin mask worn over something else. Jon was slowly beginning to understand how his neighbour recognized the latter. It was something in their eyes, he thought, when the subjects-prisoners-whatever were afraid of what they were becoming.

It was a sort of glee. It was a glee the silver-eyed man shared, at that.

Jon wasn't sure why the man was in the cell next to him. He knew why he was, of course. Most did not speak through old tape recorders. Most did not pull mangled thoughts and push them into speakers. Most did not have quite so many eyes as he had, though those had only appeared a few months ago, not long after his previous neighbour had to leave. (It was a shame, too; that man had been the quiet sort, which was peaceful, if thoroughly uninformative.)

His new neighbour, though? He sounded human. He looked human, apart from his eyes. He acted human, if a little cold and detached and analytical. He sounded like a right prick, but a brilliant one, in a thoroughly uncomfortable way. Jon rather thought he belonged on the other side of the glass - or, in the case of that cell, of the bars.

(Jon could not break the glass, and, it seemed, his abilities did not affect people who did not breathe the same air as he did, or perhaps did not see him directly, with nothing reflecting or refracting him. The ones beyond the glass likely knew better than even he did, which only served to make him even more curious.)

So when the screaming began, he first looked across his unit. It took him far too long to realize that he recognized the voice, that it did not come from the distended wolf-thing, or the sentient-and-sapient door, or the man whose tattoos blinked at him as though they were real eyes, but rather from the prim and proper gentleman, the one who never yelled, even as his comments reduced and ridiculed everyone who dared to try and do the same to him, often in ways that left others oddly uncomfortable, so specific they seemed.

When he did, though, he tried to see what was happening through the lightly textured glass. The image wasn't overly distorted, the glass barely frosted at all, but he still wasn't sure what was happening to cause so much crimson to flow from the man's head.

Jon quickly moved to the back of his unit. There was a small button there, to be pressed for emergencies only. It didn't do anything, but perhaps it would make someone look through the facility's dozens of cameras.

Luckily, it worked, but not before the man had crumpled to the ground, blood oozing across the floor. The screaming, which had been agitating everyone, Jon including, had eventually stopped.

Two people - human, Jon thought, people he recognized as some of the interviewers he'd seen before - rushed into the wing with a stretcher. The first walked into the cell, which had likely been remotely unlocked, and assessed the situation, relaying instructions to the second.

The other one tried to lower the stretcher, Jon thought, but something went wrong. It was, evidently, malfunctioning. The faint chill in the air suggested that the malfunction was likely a specific brand of supernatural, though he couldn't be quite certain which; he had so very little information to go off of in the first place.

The first made an odd sound as the second complained, obviously annoyed. Jon approached the glass, but the side panels' frosting was stronger than the outwards-facing one, and, as such, he couldn't do much at all.

"I think something's wrong," he said through whatever he could access: his tape recorder-player, which did not have very good speakers; the speaker that sat right under the door-facing camera, which was very close to his own cell, as he was nestled in the corner; and what he hoped was the earpieces of both workers.

It was exhausting, reaching beyond the glass, but he really did think something was wrong, and the way the wolf-thing was growling and biting at the thick bars of its cage told him he was likely right.

The first worker didn't seem to react; the second hissed a short string of expletives and pulled the earpiece out. He made a quick series of signs to the camera - channel two dead, if Jon's interpretation of their not-so-secret codes was right - and put it back in. When Jon tried to tell him "I think your colleague is in trouble," he could no longer reach the speaker nor the earpiece, and the tape recorder, its sound muffled through the glass, was easy enough to ignore.

Finally, the first stirred. Maybe he was alright after all, Jon thought, at least until he noticed that he was frantically wiping at something red on his face.

It wasn't that Jon liked being in here. In actuality, he thought his incarceration unfair - he was inhuman, yes, but he wasn't in the business of hurting people. He wasn't a monster. That also meant he felt some sympathy for others, and it was that sympathy (and perhaps some baseless optimism, which had always been very uncharacteristic for him, but fear did odd things to him, sometimes) that hoped that maybe, just maybe, the ones in charge of this facility would see how he was helping and consider treating him like a person, which he probably was. Maybe.

The fact that he hadn't eaten much at all since he'd arrived, nearly two years ago, was an argument against that, but, as his neighbour would say with what Jon interpreted as a smile, did humanity really entail eating steak and salad and nuts? Perhaps the fact that his neighbour did, in fact, receive and eat normal food on a regular basis had lessened his arguments to some extent, though. Feeling human without so much as being allowed tea and chips and anything edible, really, and it was made even worse when Jon suddenly remembered that the last thing he had eaten - out of distraction, mind you - was five or six pages from a book of all things. It did not taste particularly good.

Regardless, Jon did not think the red was normal. The worker did not scream, but the streaks were too reminiscent of those on the now-probably-corpse for him to think otherwise. Thus, Jon screamed for him.

Well, he couldn't exactly scream, per se, as his throat hadn't allowed such things in a long, long time, but he pulled from every memory of every screech he'd heard, every sound that haunted his very, very vivid nightmares, and pushed them outwards as hard as he could. He was fairly certain the first worker's earpiece received the noise, as its owner flinched violently.

The second only jumped a little and looked disapprovingly at Jon. "Subject, please remain quiet as we deal with the situation," Jon barely heard him say.

"Something is wrong," Jon yelled through the recorder and anything else that would let him speak. He banged his fist on the glass, which seemed to cause a wave of activity from the other sort-of-people around him, and pointed to the first, whose face looked drastically less bloody, now.

Another string of expletives, and the second was checking on the first. Jon had rather thought there would have been protocols for something like this: don't interact with someone who's been in a cell, so on, but, clearly, this employee was either too new or too complacent (or both), as he helped his colleague to his feet.

A few minutes later, the corpse - Jon knew it was a corpse, now, as it had been wrapped in a black, zip-up bag - had been wheeled out, but not before the first employee winked at Jon, which was, he thought, very unusual and should warrant... something, surely.

He only realized what the wink had meant when he saw what had been left on the floor, in that puddle of now-coagulating blood.

Those were eyeballs, optic nerve still attached. It took a lot of staring, and some dry heaving, which Jon could really have done without, before he noticed why his mind had thought they were more wrong than they appeared, if that was even possible.

The discarded eyes were a deep, rich brown.

The employee's, a cold, crisp silver.

[skoulsons]

“You’re up early.”

She was, and the only reason for that was because Joel was way too loud making his coffee and getting out the pans to cook breakfast for her before he left for patrol.

Joel was never loud, especially never loud enough to wake her.

“I heard you,” she mumbled, trudging over to the kitchen still wrapped in a blanket. She pulled a chair from their table out, facing him at the stove. “Everything okay?”

He nodded.

Everything wasn’t. He dreamed she died. It was a montage of every time it’s ever crossed his mind. Her in that bloody grass. Her skin ravished by an infected child in an abandoned van. Her face ripped apart while trapped underneath Sam. Her body, cold and pale on an operating table. Her, her, her.

Every single one played clear as day in his dreams, tormenting him with every possibility his my mind could conjure.

“Joel-“

“Nightmares. ‘S’all it was.”

“Okay…” she started, rising from the chair. “You always have me talk about mine, so…” Ellie approached the countertop opposite of him, jumping up and sitting atop it, her dangling feet hitting the lower cupboards

He hesitated before turning to her, eyes locking with hers as he sighed.

She was right. She didn’t always go into detail, he didn’t need her to, but he wanted her to release them somehow; and at night when she clings to him immediately afterward, that’s when it’s the easiest. And when she can’t talk to him, she writes or sketches them down when words can’t- don’t suffice. Anything that keeps her from compartmentalizing how they make her feel or what they make her think.

But Joel. He’s always the one to take care of her that he’s never had an out or a way to talk or feel them in a healthy manner, not like he tries to give her. Ellie tries to get him to verbalize something, but Joel is a damn brick wall when it comes to directly talking about his feelings, so it never goes anywhere.

But when it’s 5am and there’s the tiniest glint of sunlight that starts to rise and offers a faint, glowing light to their kitchen as they’re full of sleep and still in the midst of navigating these feelings, it’s easier to talk. They’re more malleable.

“It was you…” he started, doing some lazy hand motions to try and convey the word he desperately did not want to say alongside her name. “Repeatedly. Different scenarios just…over and over again.”

Her eyes went soft, understanding in a way that only they could understand.

She had the same ones. He knew.

“Figured I’d make you breakfast now and leave it in the fridge for you to heat up later so I could get a head start on patrol and… try to forget about it all.”

Joel cleared his throat, kicking up imaginary dust off the tile floor as she watched him.

Ellie reached her hand out and made grabby motions with her fingers. Joel noticed, a light, sleepy chuckle escaping his lips as he stepped towards her, both her hands holding onto his one. He stood beside her, their hands falling against her knees.

She rubbed her thumb over his hand. “Are you okay?”

He smiled. He knew that meant a plethora of other questions that they didn’t have time to cover. “I’ll be alright, Ellie.”

She nodded her head, still rubbing her thumbs across his hand. “I know. Just… wanted to check up on you.”

“And I…” he started, leaning over to kiss the hair above her ear, “am happy you do.”

She leaned her head on his shoulder as he brought his other hand in, covering all three of theirs and squeezing tightly.

“Since you’re up, how about helping me with breakfast? Wouldn’t turn down your old man, would you?”

She smiled, tapping her feet against the cupboards. She squeezed his hands and kissed his cheek briefly before jumping off the counter. “Can’t say I didn’t think about it… but,” she said, opening the fridge door. “Not for the world.”

[brenna]

the vibe for june 18th is doing it for myself. changed out my own battery (even though it was both raining and a heatwave), brushed and clipped the cats' claws, made dinner, did dishes, then wrote. amazing what you do when you take a day off work.

[teobug]

hey wtf is pomade and why does it make my hair do magic actually

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

i've been saying too much on here lol

[satans-knitwear]

Out of anyone in dtar wars, who do you think would take you out on the most fun date? And where would you wanna go for a bonus question?

received this question right before i got in the shower and ended up pondering it so seriously for way too long and using far too much hot water.

its gotta be Lando Calrissian. for many reasons.

capes. you know he'd dress to impress and that gives me an excuse to do the same.

he knows places. bitch could probably get into any cool location on any number of cool planets for free bc someone owes him a favour or something.

he knows people. sweet/smooth talker supreme. would absolutely make all basic date convo 10x more entertaining.

well known to only be serious when it counts. and even then....still a good time.

no life time commitment, wont burn down the galaxy for me after one date, will happily move on and remember fondly

has connections but has learnt to stay in his lane. knows most of the chaotic people in the galaxy but leaves the crazy bullshit to them.

totally knows how to satisfy beings of many species and genders. i do not doubt this.

also, id want to go to a cantina with the fancy lighting and funky jizz music and dancing aliens and questionable looking drinks. just for the vibes.