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pushingdaisies1 · 4 months ago

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Its never too late baby . . . ♡

(✧ ˚.) PAIRING-> James "Logan" Howlett {A.K.A} Wolverine x Mutant Reader >_<

(✧ ˚.) SUMMARY -> You were always someone who utilized your strengths. Physical and mental, you were a jack of all trades. You were a true hero to the students you taught within the school. Amongst the other X-men, you would always be one of them. But you had this little tick, that always annoyed Logan no doubt. You were a secretive person, too secretive for even his "standards." For others, you were a pillar of nurture and guidance. He saw your well-meaning nature from miles away. It was almost sickening to him how you would stretch your capabilities out to no end. He would never deny that he could be selfish. Sometimes it's more worth it to save your spine, than risk it for someone else. Though with the problems being thrown the team's way as of recent, he always saw you spinning your wheels. You wouldn't reason with him even when he of all people would lend you a shoulder to cry on. Even the students at the school could see it. With their childish snickers and big-eyed looks at your comfortable banter with Mr. Howlett whenever he helped with class. You were in love with the Wolverine. Again, out of all the Canadians - him? It wasn't something like a schoolgirl crush. It was an infatuation sort of deal. You burned for him mind body and soul. You would pretty much follow this scoundrel to the ends of the earth, even the end of your life if prompted. Which causes something to break between you two after you risk your livelihood for your family. The people that made up your heart, including Logan.

(✧ ˚.) AUTHORS NOTE -> hi party people!! I saw so much of the sweet reception for my first ever logan piece , so tysm!! Genuinely from the bottom of my heart the love means so much. As I’m currently going through my x-men marathon time if you will , I’ve had this idea brewing for a while. Thankfully the resurgence of logan content has given me the push needed to formulate this yk! This isn’t a part two to my previous logan post. That will be coming very shortly, but this is its own thing. Timeline wise... erm.... idrk a good place to put this SIGH. I'm thinking like in between x2 and the last stand. also one last final note , the title I took from Chemtrails over the country club. specifically the one lyric - "it's never too late baby so don't give up." felt like an appropriate whimsy title, nd I have been hearing that song everywhere lolz. Anyways, toodles!!! ᐢᗜᐢ (✧ ˚.) CWS (?) -> Descriptions of blood and graphic injury , they/them pronouns for reader !! , mentions of major character deal , Logan cares too much ... which could mean nothing , ur comatose for like the good first chunk of this , Jean and u have LORE!!!!! (not rlly but u and her have backstory beefers/her "passing" affect reader 100%) , mourning/grief, And that's on having no healing powers!! Buh-dun-csh!!

Your fall from grace was quick on the battlefield. This was supposed to just be any regular mission. You were using it as a way to clear your head after all. But you took a leap too far and now here you were, plummeting. The issue at hand was apprehended, sure. But you didn't leave the fight unscathed. Your vision grew too spotty for you to even make out your surroundings. Your hearing too even started to fog. Looking down, somehow or some way a large-sized piece of shrapnel metal had made it into your torso. Right in the sweet spot that was not in the lungs. Your legs began to wobble, losing your footing slowly but surely. You didn't realize your body was falling to the ground. The warm feeling rushing through you was the blood exiting from your hefty wound. It was ironic the last thing your eyes met before collapsing. Logan turned back around immediately once he noticed you weren't clamoring to the jet. His heart sunk to his stomach as he immediately sprung over to you. By the time your head had smacked against the ground, you went out. Your fingertips began to buzz, your fatigue lifting all of a sudden. All of the hurt and weight on your shoulders lifted? You felt freer than before, with a piece of debree stuck inside of your body no more. Even if some people regarded mutants as the next step in human evolution, a majority were still stuck with fleshy bodies. If only you were made out of steel. In this momentary unconsciousness, you thought about everything that went wrong. Your existence as a whole, joining the school. Moving up from student to teacher at Professor Xavier's school, like Scott and Ororo you were one of the first. Regarded as maybe one of the most useful of the bunch. No one could ever compete with Storm, the literal incarnate of a goddess. You thought of her as your eyes closed, embraced with the warm memories of your early days within the school.

The professor was never one to play favorites among his students. But when he searched you out and arrived with a less conniving Magneto at your door, it was clear you were special to him and his cause. From that day forward you were seen as a pillar of hope to a lot of the students. To some, you were like a mother, to others a guardian who would save them no matter the risk. To Logan Howlett - "The Wolverine", you were a coward. A coward that he admired. A coward he respected due to the ways you handled... stress in the simplest of terms. From the day he met you, he wandered around the halls of the mansion bewildered and confused. Something about you stuck out. He would've done something with this urge sooner if his eyes weren't honed in on another.

From day one you were not surprised how fast he fell and yearned for Jean. The woman you saw as your confidant, your best friend, she was magnificent. Smart and poised all in one with a strong set of mutant abilities. She was on the same power level as the professor, which made sense for their connection.

For living in Jean's shadow, you didn’t hate it. You were her right-hand man. Your balance was comforting, she was like your sister. The professor in small quiet moments of honesty to you liked to compare you to him and Magnus. When times were simpler they weren’t at opposing ends of the mutant kind spectrum. Yours and Jean's dynamic made you feel at ease with yourself. How could you worry? Your identity became a part of hers a long time ago. Logan saw more to that with you. Sure you could nag a lot of the time, and you always barked up his tree whenever he found ways to smoke on school grounds. But you just had this pull for him. He'd always find his way to see you first whenever entering a room. His brash and gritty attitude always got all mushy around you. He over time grew a lot more fond of the smallest details when it came to you. He was an amnesiac, his past only bits and pieces. But you made him feel grounded. You cherished his growth in ways no one else had. You were the reason why he was so drawn to the "now" of life. He needed that in times like this. He couldn't keep up for long after the realization that Jean was gone finally sunk in. Drowning at his one-sided attraction, the longing that he could've done more, you pulled him right out from that rut. Thank god that the two of you combined had horrible sleep schedules. His nightmares still stirred while you were suddenly afflicted with these with the memories of being on that jet when it wouldn't take off. That same pain rocketed through you every night as you were haunted by the sight of Jean finally swept into the oncoming flood. The feeling of grief ricocheted throughout the entire school. But you found your way to stay afloat. It was Logan, which you never thought of yourself admitting. But truth be told it was him. He was the most anchoring thing around you. Ororo distanced herself for the first month, while Scott cracked under the pressure of grief. Late nights dashing around the campus halls to the kitchen, out to the court where you two just talked. You had never seen him talk so much until you two became each other's support. It made you feel better seeing him smile more. Especially when it was at you. Again, you would never utter that truth EVER. At least that's what you thought. But his smile was a nice reminder of all of the light he held inside of him. As much as he despised ... everything, he was still so nurturing in his own ways. Nightmares were an excuse for him to be next to you. Nightmares were his excuse to hold you tight to his chest. The pain of loss was a collective "excuse" between the two of you to just .. be close.

Soon though, this ideal predicament between you both started to crack. Because even though she was dead, you still knew you would always be inferior. It may be all in your head but the hate kept you driven. It kept you driven but also mad. Small things would set you off soon enough. You knew deep down whenever he'd look into your eyes, it was a nice reminder of Jean. Even with how much he denied it when you came to him in tears, your bitter pain and grief clouded your judgment.

Logan saw that even with his help you were still hurting. He didn't want to get involved in it entirely as some of it was your own demon. But he saw how bad your spiraling was and still wouldn't accept his help. Not even from Ororo or Scott, not even the professor. Neither of you would admit who started the argument. It was late, and you were tired from pushing yourself to grade papers. Logan couldn't sleep and wandered his way to your classroom of course. The conversation was fine until he mentioned the problem. Your problem which you didn't want to deal with right now. As you were only running on a few hours of sleep. But even with Logan's usual "take and give no fucks" attitude, he knew he needed to push. You were slowly shutting yourself off this time, and he didn't expect himself to be a part of that mix. It was all a misunderstanding, but the two of you were angry and fire was thrown.

Your shared feelings were complicated. This whole ordeal with him brought out the "worst parts" of your love for him. He too was dealing with his internal dilemma. How could he move on from Jean and you were still latched onto the idea of her? It was a stupid question that was brought up in a Logan way, which of course caused the spat to escalate. His poor mistake was what he shouted. Already with the fear of waking one or even all of the students, you hated what he even dared to utter. "We're friends, you need to calm down about this whole obsession thing bub!" Originally you were thinking of just heading to bed. You were too tired to continue on with this constant bickering. But that's when you exploded on him. You regretted every last word you said to his face. Because it was you speaking your honest truth. About what you felt for him, about your hurt and your pain. How Jean was practically your lifeline. Losing her was like losing a piece of yourself. Especially since you rubbed it in about the kiss he and her shared. That you had seen and that made you sick to your stomach. A couple hours later she was dead. Your heightened emotions make you feel almost dizzy. The more you talked the more you realized his expressions distinct shift. As he was reaching out for you, you immediately swatted his arm askew. He didn't realize he hated to see you cry as much as he did until now. With broken sobs, you ran out of your classroom. The papers once stacked neatly were now laid messily all over your desk. You made sure to keep quiet. What broke your heart even more was a half-awake Rogue you ran into. She looked even more awake seeing your distraught state. Her feet tip-toed against the wooden floors of the hall before she looked at you. A big reason you and Logan were so close too, was because of Rogue. She was a good kid, he always rubbed off on her. He told you everything about how he and Rogue met. You were so enamored hearing him recount even the foggiest of memories. It could even be arguments with Scott he had, you'd just sit there with wide eyes as you listened. His word became your gospel. It warmed you to your core hearing him almost sound like a dad. He had looked out for her from the beginning. You always tried to do the same even when he left for Alklai Lake for answers.

It was so silly when she had practically pushed you and Logan to talk. She was just a kid and you two took up the almost suto role of her protectors. Friend or parent, she too found two trusted people to confide in. So you immediately went into "teacher mode" as soon as she saw you with watery eyes. She looked puzzled when her face met yours. You calmed down her storm of questions as she sputtered on and on. What's wrong? , is something happening? Are you okay? The hug you shared was one of the last meaningful hugs you had with another living being. You practically cradled her in your arms as you helped her calm down. She looked up at you, her larger brown eyes almost like the ones of a puppy. "Please don't be lying to me... y'know ah don't like liars." She whispered softly, her bubbly southern accent quiet. Your heart broke into a couple more pieces as you lied through your teeth. With a content nod, you bidded her a goodnight. Turning back to your room to drown your sorrow in god knows what. It had only been a good couple of months after Jeans' death that a mission arose. The X-men were laying low after everything at the base. For the school's and students' sake. But it was always on time when something bad happened for the team to fix. Old enemies came a-knocking and this time it wasn't Magneto. It was all supposed to be an in-and-out operation. You immediately clamored to get your hands dirty once again. You and Logan hadn't been talking for the last couple of days. Not even meeting in the dead of night to speak to another. You longed to hear about his afternoons subbing with Storm. This was your chance to regain some well-needed level-headedness. The thrill of doing what's right for a better tomorrow always made you feel better The mission even got Scott to come out of his puddle of mourning. Making you feel even better seeing your good friend so triumphant as he quickly clamored for his uniform. You and Logan didn't even brush shoulders as Storm and Scott dashed off to prepare the jet for takeoff. Everything should have gone fine. You should have all made it out alive. Every single one of you, that's what you had planned. Your lapse in judgment will always be your curse. Because now here you were, in the lap of the man that made your stomach churn. That made you feel LIKE that silly schoolgirl feeling you despised. Snapping back to reality, you realize where you are currently laid. Logan's eyes eased from his previous panicked look of fear as he saw you conscious. You were still bleeding but it seems that with quick medical attention either one of them got it to lessen. Your heart raced as you felt the warmness of his hands as they pressed against your cheeks. "Come on, there you go. Just focus on me." He cooed to your heaving chest. In the far back of the jet, you couldn't see Ororo or Scott. What you could see though was the remnants of blood on Logan's suit. He must have carried you off of the rubble and into the X-jet. Your smile was nothing compared to the horrid wince that left you. Finally, after this long moment of ease, the pain set in.

Going down to hold your gut, you shuddered as your vision all of a sudden wavered. You took in a sharp breath as finally, you noticed how in bad shape you were. Red filled your palm as you shuddered. Thankfully Logan noticed you and your shaky breath and immediately gripped your hand. Even in this state, you were currently in, you would always be able to focus on him. "I know, I know it's scary. You got hit pretty bad, but it's okay. Just focus on me and you'll be okay? I have you." He encouraged softly with that comforting rasp in his throat. His eyes were shaken and his lip was firm. Though his mood lightened somewhat because at least now you were awake.

You tried to speak but you were so weak. That same fatigue stung you as you stumbled over your words. He cradled you in his arms as he kept his eyes only on you. Your weary mind still around belittling you, another one of your eerily humane curses. He saw your chest quicken and lip quiver as your eyes began to lull, you were struggling. "Hey .. don't strain yourself - what is it?" He too began to worry as you saw his vulnerability bloom. Finally your chest steady as you took in one big breath of air. You let out the one thing keeping you from slipping back into rest in one huff. "Don't let me die, asshole." The asshole part came out more garbled from you after you coughed out your last words. Your last words before your eyes fell closed. For some reason, your hearing stayed for just a while longer. In and out, you could hear him cursing under his breath. The last thing you hear is Logan's panicked shouting at Scott, "Can this hunk of metal go any faster?!"

Finally, after so much pain, there was quiet. Peace and quiet after your constant heartache. You felt freed from the chains of reality. From birth to now, now seemed like your death. You left your current reality with a bitter-sweet smile as you felt consciousness swarm over you.

You couldn't feel how long you were out. Oh, but Logan could. Six weeks you lay in the infirmary. With some sort of miracle and hope, Ororo was barely able to stabilize you. The team rushed back into the mansion in panic as your wounds were assessed. But no, you couldn't feel the panic that coursed through your loved ones as you lay so peacefully. You didn't know your heart rate was being tracked. You were stable but anyone could guess it'd take you a while to re-reach consciousness. That your accident broke the barely well Scott Summers. But most of all it affected Logan to the core. He felt his world shake under him as he finally realized what had just happened. Something snapped in a man so stuck in his ways. Those words you said to him before you went back down. They were short but in the moment meant so much. Not to mention the fact that even Logan, so careless and free, was guilty. Every time he came back just to see you, he wanted to curl over and into you. Just like how he mourned Jean, he mourned you. Though .. he couldn't because you were technically still here. He may have not noticed it but everyone else could. The lack of your presence hindered him the worst. He missed the way you'd bother him out of the blue during the quiet time around the school. He missed you telling him about your life. He missed the shitty snort you did when you laughed too hard at one of his bad jokes. He missed seeing you happy. He missed seeing you move around. Pestering students for turning in assignments late or cheating. He missed the feel of your lips against his forehead when his nightmares of Jean flared up. He missed the way you looked at him. The way you saw him not only as a man but as himself. He didn't know how to admit it but he.. missed you. He missed you so bad and it was eating away at him. He spent hours out of his day visiting you. Like what you two always did when you were alone, he talked. About his day, what he ate, and even the lessons he overheard. The school got even quieter with you gone and he hated it. He felt bitter and broken, he didn't want to feel like that. He especially missed the way he felt with you. Almost like being on cloud nine. He finally understood the pain you felt when Jean died. This time on a more intimate level than he'd like to admit. He felt like the moon was ripped away from him after the sun. Now he was just the lonely tide, washing away against the shore until you returned. Ororo did all she could to help. All she could do was maintain your physical well-being as your body healed with rest. Logan hated the wait. The time you spent not walking around the halls of the school was maybe one of the worst times in his life. Since it hit him so deep on a real level. In this array of pain and even more guilt, he felt something dawn on him as you were still comatose. He was in love with you, Logan was in love with you. He felt like an idiot but the realization would always stay true. No matter how stupid he felt. As much as he wanted to deny it, he knew. In the middle of his thought process, he heard the swift slide open of the infirmary doors.

Right now he was standing over you. The one thing that kept his spirits high about your recovery was the gentle rise and lower of your chest. He didn't have to look behind him to know it was Storm. She too had taken her time checking in on your unconscious form. He sighed as she walked up right beside him. She gently cupped the examination table where your body would lay. She looked down at her hands with a bitter-sweet smile on her lips. She looked over to Logan, who was at a pause with himself. She decided to finally break the long silence. "You know they'll be fine, right?" She hummed as she glanced up to look over you. He chuckled softly as his brow pinched. His chuckle came out more like a rugged scoff. "I know, this just feels weird." He sucked in a breath of stale air. "It was funny the first night you arrived at the mansion.." Storm drew up a memory of that fateful night. "As soon as I and Scott brought you in, they immediately volunteered to help Jean down here with your examination. They were always enamored with your set of abilities. You were one of a kind to them especially, I suppose." Now his hands gripped into the sides of the examination table. He looked down, in pity of you and himself. How could he be so blind? Storm butted in once more as she noticed his demeanor shift. "All I'm saying is, they'd be happy to know how much you worried." He nodded in response, reminiscing when things were good. From your first encounter to now, his heart warmed. "I'd do it for anyone else." He gritted out as he bit back a smile. The truth was he was still in agony about Jean's loss. It felt wrong to love you as he had longed for her after all of this time. But you felt like a whole different story. He didn't have to sit in agony knowing that no matter what his love would always be with another. You always gave him the time and day, hell even down to the minute to just be honest. He needed you at his side no matter what you were to him. Maybe you were more than a friend, maybe he was crazy about you, but you understood him. In a way maybe Jean never had. Ororo knew he needed more time so she complied with the awkwardness in the air. "I'll give you some more time. Rest easy Logan, they'd want that." She insisted before making her way out of the infirmary. He immediately looked down back at you, before looking back at the monitor tracking your heart. He sighed, biting into his lip. He stuttered the only thing that had been keeping him sane since he last felt your eyes open. "Don't fail me now dimples... I need you." He gritted as his teeth were practically ground into his gums. It has become a regular part of his routine now. Once the students were back in their dorms for the night, down to the infirmary he goes. He could never be tired of seeing you at rest. Seeing you okay and not in pain. He just wished he could hear you speak. He hoped that you could hear his pleas for you to wake.

As much as he longed for you he just bided his time. Like the fool he was, like the idiot he felt like when you made him so weak. You made him feel the most human he ever could feel.

That day was supposed to be a normal day. Classes had been more and more brief. After the loss of Jean and you being "put out." But he did not expect to see what he did next. Going into the elevator to head downstairs, to of course see you as always. He was ready to talk about what you missed away and so on. His chest tightened once he saw what was right in front of him. It was you, you were walking? You were awake and on your own two feet. Your midsection was still bandaged but at least you were standing up straight. But then it finally clicked. Wait, you shouldn't even be walking around right now?!

He immediately ran to steady you once your expression went more absent. "Welcome back to the land of the living." He roughly inquired with a small, pleased grin. "I feel like shit, so don't start with me Wolvie." You gritted out with that smile that made him too feel all good on the inside. Quickly, his arms calmly wrapped around you. He longed for your embrace for too long. It wasn't like you were fighting him when he enacted this. You wrapped your arms around him too. He made sure not to squeeze too tight with your bandages and all. A gentleman must stay mindful, he could recall you poking at him as he had a beer bottle half hidden in his jacket.

Your head gently rested in the crook of his neck. That quiet he hated so much before when seeing you in the infirmary was warmer now. He liked the peace and quiet between the two of you when you were there WITH him. After some minutes passed, you met him back face to face. You eyes lingered as you watched the way he swallowed in with composure. You had longed for him to see you. Finally, all the puzzle pieces were clicking, and with your luck all at once. You knew before this would have never happened. It felt wrong and almost hurtful for you to be doing this. But go big or go home I guess. It was you who initiated it, and he gratefully complied. Still keeping you steady, once your lips met his hand immediately went to cup your cheek. In the bliss shared, all of a sudden it felt right. The tender embrace of your lips with his felt good. It was hungry and it was liberating. You could feel his heart beating out of his chest as quick gasps for air were taken. "I'm sorry." He uttered out, forehead against yours. "I know." You said with a sanguine look in your eye. "I love you." He uttered again at a rapid pace. "I know." You purred, your eyes looking back into his hazy ones. Things would always be complicated between the both of you. But deep down you had hope. Maybe not now, someday things could just be normal between you and The Wolverine. That's all you wanted and that's all you dreamed of. Yours and his timing by all means was horrible. So it wasn't surprising this delightful moment got interrupted by Scott of all people. You and Logan looked back, hands immediately darting off of one another. Time to address THAT later.

Scott's mouth fell agape as he began to regret coming down here in the first place. He readjusted his glasses with a small scowl. "Well hello to you too, and Logan." He turned his head to give him that same look. "Wanted to check on you but clearly -" He made sure to put a specific emphasis on 'clearly.' "That job has been overtaken by him.. I'll get Ororo." Before either you or Logan could interrupt him, Scott was already pressing buttons up to the main floor. Now that it was just the two of you bubbling laughs were shared. You felt finally okay. You felt like yourself after those months of nothing but remembrance. You and The Wolverine wormed back into conversation as you could finally talk BACK to him. Another thing you wouldn't ever admit was that yes, you did hear him. His gentle words would always be your favorite secret. After that display of affection though, your and Logan's bond never stayed just a little secret after that. Even after all the trial and error, and the more soon to come, you finally had another moment. Another moment that you could look at when you are older and with more grays on your head. Logan Howlett was yours, no matter how much the universe wanted to throw you around a loop. You'd always have him by your side, till the end of time. Nothing would stop you from cherishing this connection. Not even the burning phoenix crackling over the horizon. You and Logan against time baby.

ꔫ✉ reblogs/interaction is appreciated <3

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bloodiedrogue · 1 year ago

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PAINFUL VULNERABILITIES (5)

SUMMARY: When your past begins to blend into your present, you find yourself longing for Astarion's comfort.

PAIRING: Astarion & Female Reader

WORD COUNT: 3,648

WARNINGS: ANGST, hurt/comfort, body horror elements, descriptions of torture involving a knife, panic attack, sort of made up Illithid lore??? (I promise there's comfort in the end, I'm sorry!)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Day 5 literally doesn't have a prompt because this idea got terribly out of hand so let's just ignore that and enjoy the angst, shall we?

(Also again, a lot of people's tags weren't working so next time if you haven't fixed it I will be taking you off the list because taglists are a bitch!)

CHAPTER LIST / MASTERLIST / NEXT CHAPTER

The nightmares start a few days later.

At first, they’re subtle. Wisps of darkness cloud your thoughts, leaving no memory behind. Silently it lingers, creeping through your skull in waves that inevitably crash against the shore, ripping you awake —leaving you breathless each time you’re left gasping for air in your dishevelled bedroll. When it happens, it always makes you jolt up to look around, trying to find the cause of your plague. The reason why you’re suddenly so wary to lay your head each night.

When you reach the Underdark they only get worse.

What were once forgotten memories become recurring torments. Endless onslaughts of clawed hands that scratch at your flesh, pulling back skin in massive chunks that pluck excitedly at your insides.

Thanks to the powers of the Illithid you feel every movement. Every poke and prod slips through you like a knife, cutting you down piece by piece until you’re nothing but a shell. An empty carcass of bone that’ll inevitably be harvested for a purpose far greater than yourself.

Or so she says. As you lie there, writhing in pain, blinking to shield the teeth that bear witness to your torture, you hear her whisper cool and quiet, telling you of your death. Of your fated downfall, and then of your—

You always wake up before she finishes.

Before you can hear her utter the words you’ve heard a thousand times. Feeling the burn of your lungs, you stretch your fingers across your chest in remembrance, breathing in and out as the skin beneath your digits runs hot and you’re forced to forget the experience all over again.

When you reach camp that night, sore from the seemingly never-ending mushroom forage, you find yourself dreading the prospect of such sleep. Even through the exhaustion, the last thing you want to do is rest your head lest she arrives tonight, so you fight the urge, settling in against the edge of the fire.

“You look tired.”

You turn to look at Gale with half-closed eyes, offering him the softest grin you can muster before turning toward the flames. They seem brighter than usual. A decorative flash of warm-toned hues that make you blink and rub your eyes, somehow feeling even more languid.

“Mushroom hunting take it out of you?”

You hum, making no move to look his way as you pull your knees to your chest, curling in on yourself for comfort.

As much as you’ve grown to like Gale’s company, all you want right now is silence. A moment of peace where you can just stare into the fire and let your eyes burn from something other than the lack of sleep. Especially after spending the day alongside Lae’zel and Shadowheart as some poorly trained mediator. Just the thought of opening your mouth to speak feels like a threat to your vocal cords. The prospect of speech too much to handle, even as Gale begins to fill you in on his and Wyll’s misadventures with a nearby myconid colony.

“They’re truly such interesting creatures. Did you know…”

His voice falls on deaf ears, earning you nothing but a confused sigh once he realizes you’re not listening. Mostly because it’s not normal for you to just blatantly ignore your peers.

“Are you alright? Need anything? Perhaps a drink or a—“

You’re standing upright before he can even finish his sentence, brushing the ass of your leathers before walking away, paying no mind to the curious wizard as he looks around the camp, catching the eye of Wyll who merely shrugs.

It’s not like you to leave. To ignore a friend mid-conversation but your voice is gone. Lost to the void of constant intercession and a brewing anxiety that sits in your chest. As you walk towards your tent you can feel it shifting. Starting at your gut, everything twists to form a sickly sting. A stabbing pain that throbs within your abdomen, threatening to grow as you part the fabric and crawl inside, plopping into bed face first.

Despite your better judgement, you let out a low groan you’re sure at least someone hears causing you to frown, knowing that you’re better than this. Better than neglecting your health because of some silly nightmares. Better than letting the fear of your past get the better of you. Better than brooding about it.

Turning to lie on your back, you palm the sockets of your eyes in frustration, letting your mind wander. Allowing yourself to feel everything you’ve been suppressing over the last twelve or so hours.

Aside from exhaustion, it’s mostly Astarion that surfaces. His face in the darkness looking at you as you left camp that morning, barely awake enough to give him a nod. In an instant it was as if he was there and gone, looking at you with an expression you couldn’t quite place before shifting out of view alongside an overly excited Karlach. It was the kind of look that made you question its intentions. Its knitted brows and pursed lips rising and falling through your memories between the scuffles of your two companions.

As you walked along the edges of the Underdark’s cliff sides, you couldn’t help but wonder what exactly it represented. What emotion it was trying to convey in such a small amount of time before it disappeared completely?

As you lie there now, once again imagining its form you feel it’s something bordering on pity. A showcase of solidarity in your obviously failing quest for sleep.

Astarion may not say much about your struggles —unlike him, you don’t complain about the endless problems that you face on the road— but you know he’s still aware of them. He’s too perceptive not to be.

So why hasn’t he said anything?

A heavy breath escapes. A shaky one damaged by speculation. Ruined by the assumption that it’s because he doesn’t care. That perhaps you aren’t worth the trouble of a little bit of worry despite previous actions.

You may have killed for him —had his back long before anyone else, but have such feelings ever been reciprocated? Has your worth been proven now that you’ve slain a man in his honour? And if so, how much worth do you truly hold? Is it substantial enough to ask you how you are? Big enough to look at you with any semblance of fondness? Or is it all just for show?

There’s a part of you that hopes it is. That the moments filled with kindness are nothing more than lies told to keep your attention. If he were lying, it wouldn’t necessarily make the way you feel right now any better but it’d mean that there’s an end. A barrier to stop you from getting in too deep. An excuse you could use to explain the naivety of thinking he may care.

Because it wavers —his care. Some days it’s obvious, sometimes it’s not. You can never guess when the care will appear, only that when it’s there and eventually dissipates you’ll be left alone again, wondering why he puts the extra effort in at all. Why he reels you in only to let you go, forcing you to question his intentions as you watch with careful eyes for those moments of reassurance. Moments that you can never prepare for. Ones that gnaw at your heart with pointed teeth wrapped beneath hungry lips, starving for the truth.

You’re not too sure you’re ready to take that leap yet. To push him for the answers you know he’ll just avoid. He’s never been quick to trust and even when he does allow you in there’s still a blockage of sorts. An obvious resistance that sits between you, forcing you to settle regardless of the fear you hold inside your chest, wondering what would happen if you tried to push.

You assume it’d ruin you. That, more than likely, pushing too hard would only create an even deeper wedge, making the truth that much more unattainable, leaving you with less than what you started with.

Shooting upwards, you groan again and breathe, resting your face against your open palms in irritation.

All you want to do is sleep, knowing the only reason you’re thinking so much is because you’re avoiding it. If you think you can’t drift which means the nightmares can’t come, leaving you with two bad endpoints you know you have to choose between.

It makes you want to scream just thinking about it but instead of giving in to such desires you merely settle back down, pulling the fabric of your bedroll up to your shoulders before closing your eyes.

You’re going to get some sleep whether or not it kills you. Whether or not you have to endure the pain of a thousand deaths all at once before you’re inevitably woken up in a stupor of suffering.

It doesn’t take long for you to drift. One minute you’re lying there, counting your breaths like sheep and the next you’re out, filtering through a darkness that feels all too familiar. At first, it’s just there, coating your skin in nothingness. Lost to the void of slumber, you’re at peace for the first time in forever but as expected eventually the shadows unfold. Part to reveal a body of pale skin wrapped around viscous veins full of the blood of many.

It beckons you almost immediately. The flutter of that icy voice saying your name over and over until you come to call, allowing yourself to move. Letting your feet guide you to her presence, you feel the waves and how they threaten to spill over as you kneel before her, feeling her grab your throat.

Her fingers twitch and curl but never grip as she leans forward, offering you a grin. “You’ve been avoidant.”

You don’t speak. For a moment your lips part, feeling the presence of her thumb glide across the base of your throat but you don’t dare speak.

“You know it’s coming, my dear. You can’t avoid it.”

Your tongue moves to wet your lips while you blink, trying your best to let the visions of her angular face blur into the night that surrounds you, realizing she looks just as you remember her. All papery and washed out —a mere shell of herself now that you’ve gone missing. Her features drying out with each passing day you find yourself separate.

“Come back to me. Let me protect you.”

You swallow hard and turn your head, feeling the nails of her fingers dig into your neck prompting you to cry out.

She doesn’t let you do much else. Quickly moving on from the one-sided conversation to grab her knife, you watch as she mumbles under her breath, turning the blade between her fingers with a grin. “In untimely death comes timely renewal, remember?” she says, letting it ghost across your bare chest, pushing the edge against it until it breaks the skin.

You barely feel the first insertion. As the blade dips through the layers of your flesh, the only thing you feel is her breath. The pattern of air that puffs against your face as she recites those aforementioned words, taunting you as she pulls it down.

In untimely death comes timely renewal. In untimely death comes timely renewal. In untimely death comes timely renewal…

As the knife moves lower, you repeat the words in unison like a mantra, struggling to get them out through gritted teeth as she works to cut you open. To slice your torso from the sternum down revealing countlessly re-healed bones and slimy organs that lie in waiting for her to pluck.

Hovering above you, her hands move to survey such handiwork, her fingers stroking the edges of your open skin before they inevitably dive right in, ripping you awake.

You feel the pressure of her inside your gut before it really hits that it’s done. Shooting upward, you cough and double over in an instant, pressing your hands shakily to the ground in front of you.

It’s the worst dream you’ve had yet. Longer than all the others, you can feel the adrenaline of it all penetrating your thoughts. Overthrowing every single anxiety you’ve ever felt as you sniff back tears, pushing yourself towards the entrance of your tent.

Pulling it open, you look around the camp in desperation, catching the eye of Wyll who raises his brow, watching as you shake your head, slipping further into the ground.

Before you can even think he’s on you, reaching for your shoulders, asking you what’s wrong and how he can help. In response, you make no effort to reach back. To remedy your pain as you continue to shake and cry, sobbing out the cursed mantra through heavy gasps that leave him panicking.

“Guys! Something’s wrong!”

As he calls out to the rest of the group, you quickly find yourself surrounded by familiar faces. All of them looking down to see your hysteria unfold.

“What happened?” Dropping to her knees, Shadowheart’s the first to your side, moving her hands to cup your face before you swat her away, mouthing the words over and over and over again.

“I don’t know!”

“You don’t know?”

The two of them continue to bicker. As Wyll explains the way you crawled out of your tent, mumbling something about death, you force yourself to shuffle back, maneuvering your body so that you’re half sitting inside your tent again, watching it all unfold. Focusing on the confusion as Lae’zel and Karlach stand in the wings, muttering to each other words you can’t quite hear while Gale stares down at your mouth, watching the words you speak only to yourself as your eyes start to dart around.

Surveying the rest of the camp, you wipe away your tears and try to breathe, forcing your mouth to stop its repetitions once you remember the ache inside your chest.

Because of the Illithid, you can still feel her handiwork. Beneath your sweaty tunic, you can sense its edges burning —stinging from the aftermath as you press a hand to your sternum, making sure you’re still intact. Making sure your organs aren’t on display as you catch sight of Astarion coming up the path.

He’s nose deep in a book when you see him, scanning the pages with interest before his eyes inevitably raise to see your nervous frame, curling into your tent. Then his interest fades. Evaporating into thin air before it’s replaced with fear. Genuine, heartbreaking fear that has him moving so quickly he fades out of view before reappearing in front of you.

“What happened?”

Just like Shadowheart, his hands cup your cheeks, gripping the plush as he lowers himself down, moving his forehead to yours.

Unlike before you make no effort to push him away. Instead, all you do is frown and try to suppress the tears, clawing at his shirt with desperate pleas, begging him to stay. Begging him to tell you that everything’s going to be okay. Begging for him to lie and say he’ll protect you just like you did for him.

Using your tadpole you beg him over and over again, letting the tears silently fall from your face, not caring that the whole party is watching.

All you need is him. In falseness or in truth, you don’t care. You just need him to ground you. To call you darling and to make you laugh. To make you feel like you’re something more than a vessel of organs one day destined for harvest.

As your chest begins to heave, letting all the nightmares unfold all over again, you feel the tadpole behind your eye squirm in response, asking you to let him in. Without hesitation, you close your eyes and swallow hard, feeling his thoughts start to overthrow the visions of her and her knives and the mantra that sticks haphazardly across your brain matter.

I’m here, you’re safe.

For once it feels like a promise. A silent vow meant only for you as he ushers you further into the tent, saying something to your peers before closing it up. After that he readjusts the bedroll with gentle hands, always keeping a single palm against the small of your back, even when he guides you to lie against his chest.

It’s the first time in weeks that you’ve felt safe. Resting a cheek just below his collarbone, you can feel your breath begin to return to its normal state. No longer ravaged by the panic of your dreams, it moves in and out, fanning the fabric of his shirt.

“Was it a nightmare?”

You nod. Unsure how to explain it because, while it is a nightmare, it somehow feels so much more.

“Of the past or?”

“Sort of.”

He hums curiously, glancing down to see your hand slide up his chest to grip his shirt.

“It feels like I’m answering a call.”

“A call?”

“Like there’s a person trying to reach me and when I answer I can… I can feel them.”

“Feel them?”

You can tell he doesn’t quite understand. Not that you blame him for it. The whole concept of these nightmares still vexs even yourself. Leave you stumbling in confusion each night you find yourself awake, struggling to remember what’s real and what’s not.

The nightmares are not as easily explainable as the actual torture you’ve endured. Especially considering that up until now there had been periods where the memories had died. Days where her face was nothing more than a splotch of white against a backdrop of black, slowly fading away.

It doesn’t make sense why they're suddenly returning. Why your mind is forcing you to relieve these memories night after night.

“Does your tadpole make it hard for you to dream?”

There's no hesitation when he says yes. No moment thought before his answer, making you wonder if maybe he too is experiencing these dreams.

“I feel like it amplifies everything.”

Looking up to gauge his response, you can see the worry clouding his eyes. How his expression sort of fades into the abyss as his eyes focus on yours.

“I dream of the past a lot. Of my life before this and… and I can feel it. Everything that ever happened I can feel all over again and it’s—“

“Painful.” His voice is broken. A crack in the mirror, shattering the often joyous image of his face as he looks away, blinking.

Without even processing your movements you prop yourself up on your elbow, reaching over to grab his cheek and pull him back in. “I wish you didn’t understand how it felt.”

There’s a flicker of hurt that hits his face, enveloping his features before the previous sadness kicks in again and he’s reaching for your wrist, tightening around it. “Yes, well, not all of us get the luck of the draw when it comes to good lives.”

“You should’ve,” you tell him.

He scoffs and closes his eyes, a faint smile pulling at his lips. “You’re probably the only one that thinks that.”

You let your thumb explore his cheek. Let it move in soft circles, taking in the way it shifts beneath your touch.

It feels strange to be this close to him even after all of the other intimate moments you’ve shared. Something about it feels softer, more honest than the rest of them, making your heart beat rapidly against your chest, threatening to burst.

“I know it’s not my business but if you ever want to talk about it—“

He places a kiss to your hand, letting his lips linger against the pad of your thumb as he closes his eyes, reaching around to grip your waist.

In an instant, the words drift out of your mind once you feel it; lost to a touch you didn’t realize you longed for.

Swallowing hard you lay back down to look away, feeling a bit overwhelmed at the tender image that unfolds as his arm shifts again, accommodating your movement. Making you feel that rush of comfort return as he pulls his mouth away and clears his throat.

“I’m, uh… I’m not good at this kind of thing.”

“Vulnerability?” you joke, earning yourself a snort.

“I suppose that’s a word you can use.”

“To be fair, neither am I.”

You feel him shift to meet your gaze, looking at you with surprise. “Really now? I think breaking down in front of the whole camp just so that you can find me is quite the effort of—“

Before he can finish you clamp your hand around his mouth. “I was in shock, you bastard. I wasn’t thinking about my dignity.”

Flexing around your palm, you feel him smile before he pulls away. “That’s good because there was absolutely nothing dignified about the way you looked at me back there. It was…” He trails off, his words catching in his throat for a moment before he clears it again. “You scared me.”

There’s a moment of silence after that, lasting far longer for it to be deemed comfortable as you lay there, wide awake, wishing you could get him to talk to you. Hoping that maybe if you reach out with the Illithid he’ll answer your questions.

Closing your eyes, you feel his presence in your mind already, vying for your attention in a way that has you both moving in closer, tightening your hold.

Show me the dream.

It isn’t a question or a request but a simple command that has you obeying —letting him enter your thoughts. Letting him stand along the sidelines as she guides you to the ground and cuts you open all over again. Letting him listen to the recital of words that are spoken behind two frozen expressions as Astarion pulls you tighter against him, placing his mouth to your forehead to stop himself from crying.

TAGLIST: @poohxlove @gaiasmight @sassy-stupid @novarex @v-gremlin @sapphiccloud @lipstickghoulie @kuroitsukyo @jjfchk @idiotsatan @kay24sstuff @bluestuesday @mopeyghost @bloopthebat @art-by-greenie @heneralmoon @80spuppetfantasy @sukunababe @dreamingaboutyousworld @ranfithegood @haniscrying @ghostys1mp @liadamerondjarin @the-lake-is-calling @marina-and-the-memes @rookieoftheyear @zraloci-cpr @kaetmo @snickerdoodle-daydream @wowowwild @d1anna @raswiet @conniesbbymama @sweetrollgal @venus-wrts @demonicthorns @kihten @deadglamsheep @sanscas @spammypasta @leighsartworks216 @rose-gold-blue @p1ssmagg0t @hellish-writes @tea-a-holics @ghostinvenus @theenadaa @otayz @sexysquatch @sleepyeclair @colorful-anxieties @alina-exe @ilana-the-lasagna @lillifer @geektarts

(if you'd like to be added to the taglist fill out this form)

#painful vulnerabilities #astarion #astarion bg3 #astarion fan fic #astarion series #astarion x female reader #astarion x reader #astarion x you #summer writes

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evilminji · 2 months ago

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Hey Minji! A thought for your Star Wars things!

Who ever said the SI-OC was the only one to get dumped in SW? Just. A Creche that has several Reincarnations/Transmigrants.

Oh? My god? Just... the FIRST thing that popped into my head? Was the image of one of those "we are so Unbelievably Overworked We No Longer Fear You Nor Death" Sort of office workers/team of workers(nonspecific)?

Just... fuckin EVERYBODY knows Star Wars. Not everybody focused on the same PART of it, but the DO know it. So OBVIOUSLY? The Force decided it should bring in an A Team.

It Did Not ASK the A Team.

They are... like? 4. And sitting in a soft foam, brightly colored Creche, in their lil Jedi rompers, all sitting in a circle, looking at each other like... ( -_-) (-_- ) you too, huh?

Yeeeeeep. (God does Jerry want a cigarette. Jerry gave them up in his 20s. But he's KINDA GOING THROUGH IT, okay?!) (Sarah is hyperventilating in the corner. Her KIDS! Oh GOD. Her KIDS! She was on the way to pick them up from SOCCOR PRACTICE!!!)

Just? This whole ass team of "yeah, we know the LORE, but buddy, pal, we had LIVES! What the FUCK. Star Wars was a HOBBY!" Type adults? No one is happy and everyone wants to choke the metaphysical concept of The Force with their itty, bitty lil baby hands.

They may RIOT.

And like? Do to sheer NUMBERS? They make up ALMOST a full Creche?

Almost.

There is like... one? Maybe two? Actual Jedi Babies™ in their group? It's A Team... plus our collective children. Whom we parent. The MOST baby of babies. Also the spokesperson when they want to fool anyone into thinking they're "normal".

I want Jerry to have a fake cigarette. He's looked up death sticks and like FUCK is he putting that shit in his body, but dear LORD are the oral fixation and mental effects of a past addiction still both real, and a pain in the ASS.

If you try and TAKE his fake ass, hand made, bespoke not-a-cigarette from his itty bitty lil baby hands? He will take your KNEES. These FUCKERS won't even let him have COFFEE. Let him HAVE THIS. *hisses from the walls*

I want them to be ☆~Nightmare Children~☆

They have the power of The Force, various past life skills, an uninterrupted access to the galaxy's BIGGEST LIBRARY, close proximity to FAR too many senator AND their living spaces, and? An actual negative number of fucks to give. They can take shifts. Tag team. Be creepy, horrible, terrible, God awful nightmare creatures climbing out from your WALLS.

Somehow they keep escaping.

Down through the lower temple as they examine the hidden tunnels and escape routes. Through the vents. Forcing other jedi to become VERY familiar with where those pathways are. Sure hope THAT won't someday save your lives! Ya ungrateful, "you're grounded, stop sneaking out younglings" BASTARDS! So rude!!

The camp out in the Corrie Gaurd office. Bring the babies.

Here, you seem stressed, random gaurd. Hold a Jedi Baby. They radiate sunshine and good vibes. Are literally the Anti-Old-Man-Sith. We brought caffeine and food from the temple. Are willing to follow you around like "adorable ducklings" on patrol under the excuse that we're "training" for when we get our own soilders.

Sure is INCONVENIENT for all these asshole senators to has a witness, huh?

You gaurd my back, I'll gaurd yours. And if a certain long neck trips near the stairs? You didn't see SHIT. I'm BABY. How could I POSSIBLY have the control to do that? Now excuse me... we need to practice our "we Jedi Children can stare into your SOOOOOULS, we See All Your Sins." Wide Eyed Unblinking Predator Stare.

(O.O) (O.O) (O.O)

#minji's writing #star wars the clone wars #star wars #star wars oc #the lil bastards club au #plus baby

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thenightwolf51 · 1 year ago

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So i originally had this idea when i reblogged this post by @saphushia but i wanna just seperate it out as its own little prompt.

A quick context is that Danny seems to be roaming around Gotham like some homeless cryptid, kinda Bus to Nowhere style but with more vigilante interaction and casual offerings of first aid. And the batkids are keeping their adoption bait First Aid Cryptid(tm) secret from Batman.

One set of tags in the reblogs from @little-pondhead caught my attention

I came up with both funny answers and an angsty answer for that "#why?" but here's the angsty one (though i promice i actually envision it to be more hurt/comfort with a lot of family fluff)

Actual Prompt⬇️⬇️

Something happens, maybe a reveal gone wrong, maybe he got capture by the GIW, maybe he lost Jazz and his parents somehow.

Whatever it is, it leaves Danny with a need to escaped to a new dimension which just so happens to end up being the DCU. He winds up in Gotham and is just trying to start over, easier said than done but at there's plenty of heros around so he doesn't need to go ghost and he can still patch up the local vigilantes to feed his obsession. He's just not up to being Phantom yet and he's still recovering from whatever happened in Amity, whether it be mentally or physically.

Plus these vigilantes are kinda fun to mess with. Danny can practically see the gears turning as they try to put together and make sense of his little "lore drops", that Red Robin almost reminds him of Wes in a way.

Its not like he really needs to hide anyways. There's no GIW here, no Anti-Ecto Acts, if it really comes down to it he could probably pass as meta and fall under those protection laws. Judging by Signal, Danny's pretty sure Batman's bluffing on the whole "hating metas" thing anyways.

It takes awhile before Danny actually does meet the big bat himself and the reaction he gets is nothing anyone was expecting.

You see theres one little detail danny couldn't have been warned about, and its that there just so happens to be a version of Jazz here.

Except this Jazz lost her Danny when they were in high school, as in full on dead and gone Danny, no halfas here, the portal simply did not work and it was just regular ole lethal electrocution that hit her little brother.

What if she grew up with a young Bruce somehow, whether it be because CPS took her from the Fentons after her Danny's death or Amity Park simply doesn't exist in the DCU making Gotham the city with the thinnest veil and thus where the Fenton's chose to settle down.

This Jazz is an adult in her 40s but was once a kid smart enough to go to Gotham Academy on scholarship (or maybe the Fenton's had enough money from patents?). A kid who took one look at young Bruce's grumpy little face and decided he needed a honest friend, one that wasn't after status or money.

This Jazz grew up being a secondary voice of reason for Bruce, ganging up with Alfred in their own crusade to enforce healthy habits on him in between their weekly tea sessions.

This Jazz lost her brother and could not only understand Bruce's resoning on a minor level but encouraged his planned "journey of self discovery and healing". (Though the bat costume he made when he came back was unexpected and she gave him a look to rival Alfred for it)

This Jazz grew up to be a social worker because if anyone had cared enough to take her away from the Fenton's sooner then her brother might've still been alive

This Jazz being the one Bruce calls when he first gets Dick because holy shit he has no idea what hes doing and "Jazz, i just became a father, help!"

This Jazz being a sort of aunt to all the Batkids and is a major influence that has led to their dynamics being similar to Wayne Family Adventures

Bruce goes pale and later calls Jazz after he finally gets a glimps/meets the so called "First Aid Cryptid" his kids have been obsessed with. Because this kid that he's looking at with the barely visible lichtenberg scars... that's a face he hasn't seen in little over 20 years, that's his old friend's long dead baby brother.

Bruce sees danny and his mind rapidly jumps to all sorts of possibilities. Is this a clone? Is this a trap? Are the Lazarus pits involved somehow? Time travel? He does consider a ghost but this kid is too solid and they're nowhere near the old dilapidated Fenton Works building

Eventually, down the line when they get the full story of Danny being from an alternate dimension, Jazz might try to adopt him. Which has potential to be unhealthy but i fully believe Jazz would be aware enough not to project her decades old grief on this Danny, who is so similar but so different to her brother.

(Because I think a Gotham raised Danny would've been similar to a young Jason in street smarts so this Amity raised Danny is noticeably different)

Danny on the other hand... not sure if i could say the same, especially if he just lost his Jazz before winding up in the DCU. But again, this is an adult Jazz in her late 40s with professional experience dealing with traumatized kids, and she'll do her best to help him through it

Im imagining Jazz and Bruce to have a more platonic friendship, maybe even see each other as family, but you could go with Parent Syndrome if you want

(And because i love to see other peoples ideas and opinions, @omnicrafts @ailithnight @atiyasnake @hdgnj @nelkcats @nerdpoe @im-totally-not-an-alien-2 @dcxdpdabbles. Sorry i tag you guys so much but i like your writing, im eager to offer ideas, and your posts have been major sources of joy while ive been hyperfixating on DPxDC)

#dp x dc #dpxdc #dc x dp #dcxdp #danny fenton #batman #jazz fenton #bruce and jazz know each other #bruce and jazz are childhood friends #at least in another dimension #jason reminded jazz of her danny #she did her best to help with the bat kids #writing prompt #fic prompt #found family #is it found family if one person is your biological sibling from another dimension?

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supernovafics · 1 year ago

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Hi I was wondering if you could do a next part for just a feeling where reader does let it show that she doesn't feel comfortable about vanessa and steve and that she's jealous and you could add whatever else you'd like but also if you could include steve canceling the date with Vanessa (him not gonna see her again/anymore)

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐍𝐎𝐖

"i'll be there for you" universe masterlist

pairing: bestfriend!roommate!steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 3.3k words

warnings: explicit language, (slightly)jealous!reader, smoking weed (reader and steve), some angst

summary: in which the kids stay over at your and steve’s apartment for the night. when it’s long after midnight and the kids are asleep in the living room, you find steve sitting out on the fire escape. a late night conversation full of honesty ensues, and it manages to bring up more questions than answers

author's note: thank uu for the request !! i was already in the middle of working on this when i got it lol so some stuff is a lil different. hope you enjoy though🫶🏾

general note: everything in this universe/series can be read as standalone oneshots but to understand the full “lore” it would prob be best to read the other stuff too<333

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Winter 1985

Somehow in the five months of you and Steve living in your apartment, a sort of “tradition” quickly managed to form where once a month the kids would stay over for a night.

They’d set up camp in the living room; Max and El always got the couch, while the boys spread out their sleeping bags on the floor.

It was a proper sleepover, and why it was happening at your apartment instead of at any of their homes still confused you and Steve a little, but neither of you really minded; you both really enjoyed spending time with the group of teens.

Tonight was a little different, though. While you and the kids were playing a particularly heated game of Uno circled around the coffee table, Steve was out on a date. With Vanessa.

It was only their third date, but those always felt pretty defining to you, and at this point you were just waiting for him to tell you that things were serious with her, or getting there.

Steve hadn’t really talked about her that much to you, and you couldn’t help but wonder if that was more your fault or his. You definitely hadn’t been as adamant with asking questions about how things were going as you’d been with other girls he had gone on dates with.

Vanessa was in one of your classes and over the last few weeks she told you more than enough about her and Steve, even though you never asked; how great their first date getting dinner at some restaurant had gone, their second date to the movies, and their long phone conversations that would happen practically every other night.

You did not need to hear all of that from him too.

But still, you expected him to tell you something about what was going on with him and her.

If you were going to solely take Vanessa’s words for how things were going, which you kind of were since she was the only one you heard anything from, you would believe that everything was sunshine and daisies between them, and it was only a matter of time before he was telling you that he had a girlfriend.

The last time the two of you had a conversation like that was when he told you about Nancy. It was only two years ago, but it somehow felt like so much longer. That conversation— which happened one night at Steve’s house; his parents were gone like usual and yours were too busy to ever notice you sneaking out and biking twenty minutes to his house almost every night— went perfectly fine because you were getting into your own relationship then too, so the timing felt ideal to say the least.

If only things could be that serendipitous this time around.

Because you weren’t sure you’d be as excited when he told you now. Not when you could barely remember the last time you went on a good date, and you hadn’t even managed to find anyone to simply have a crush on lately.

Other than the fact that you had hated most of your classes this semester, you were glad that it had finally ended yesterday because it also meant that you’d, hopefully, see completely new people in your classes next year.

If Steve was about to get into something serious, maybe you could too.

It still didn’t fully make sense to you why you felt so affected by it this time around; why you were still feeling jealous for reasons that felt simultaneously stupid and completely valid.

You figured that ultimately you just didn’t want things to change.

“Your turn,” Dustin said, bumping your arm and pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Oh, my bad,” You responded as you placed down a card and then El went.

“What were you thinking about?” Lucas asked.

“Um, nothing, really.” You shrugged. “Just school stuff.”

“How is college?” Will asked. “I think you’re the only person we know that’s in it right now.”

You thought about your answer for a moment. “In order to make sure you guys stay inspired and excited to go to college in four years, I will respectfully decline to answer that question.”

Max laughed a bit. “So, what you're saying is, it sucks.”

“Technically, I didn’t explicitly say that. So none of your parents can hate me or call me a shitty influence,” You responded. “Anyway, though, are you guys hungry? I should probably order the pizza now.”

“Great subject change,” Mike said with a laugh.

“Thank you,” You smiled as you got up from your spot on the arm of the couch, which had been entirely uncomfortable but worth it so that the kids were comfortable. “You guys can skip my turn for now. And I will be taking my cards with me because I don’t trust any of you to not look at them while I’m gone.”

“Good choice,” You heard Dustin say as you walked toward the phone in the kitchen.

You ordered three pizzas— a pepperoni, cheese, and one that was half of each— from the place that you and Steve would always go to that was only five minutes away. You were saying a quick, “Got it, thanks,” to the guy on the other end of the line who had just told you that the pizza should be delivered in about thirty minutes, when the squeaky front door opened and in walked Steve. The kids’ chorus of Hi’s and Hey’s were immediate and Steve smiled back at them and said a quick “Hi” of his own before heading into his room.

That very short interaction gave you no indication on how the date went; if Steve seemd happier than when he had left earlier that evening or if he was the same. But, you wanted to know what happened tonight. You felt like you needed to know, and surprisingly you actually wanted to ask him. If something big had happened, you knew that he would have to tell you sooner rather than later, but you’d rather just get it out of him now.

Maximizing on that small surge of courage, you gave his door a quick courtesy knock before walking in and closing it behind you.

“Hey,” You said as you sat down on his bed. “How was your date?”

He was pulling off the blue short sleeve Polo he had on and slipped on a T-shirt that you immediately recognized because you had gotten it for him a couple Christmases ago. It was a dark green shirt that had a tree and a bear on it and said “Yosemite National Park” across the top. You found it at a thrift shop and thought it was cool even though neither of you had been to that park or even to California.

Steve met your curious gaze. “Long story short, we won’t be seeing each other again.”

“Oh,” Was all you could say at first because hearing that answer completely confused you. You also felt like a complete asshole for immediately feeling relieved by his words. “Oh, um, okay… Can I have the long version of the story?”

“Maybe later,” Steve said, and for the first time in a long time, it was actually hard to read your best friend right then. He didn’t look sad, but there was something about his words that kind of felt sad. “I’d much rather just play Uno with you guys right now.”

“Okay,” You said with a nod. You were still so curious about everything— your mind was already cooking up a plethora of potential scenarios of what could’ve happened between him and Vanessa tonight. But, you decided not to push him further on it right then. “I hope you’re also in the mood for pizza and watching Ghostbusters. It was pretty much a unanimous decision by the kids.”

He smiled at that. “That’s honestly not surprising.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You weren’t entirely sure why you couldn’t sleep.

It wasn’t because of the kids making noise, like what would usually happen, because they all knocked out around midnight; right after raiding the freezer and eating pretty much all of the ice cream you and Steve had in there.

Maybe you were hungry again. You didn’t really think that was it, but you’d rather just go with that thought process than continue to lay restlessly in your bed.

You got out of it and wrapped the throw blanket that sat folded across your desk chair around you before walking out of your room. You tiptoed around the boys and their sleeping bags scattered around the living room and headed to the kitchen counter where the pizza boxes were; you hoped there was a stray slice in at least one of them.

Before you checked any of the boxes, something outside the large window that led to the fire escape managed to catch your eye. The Christmas lights that you and Steve strung up a week ago around the railing of the fire escape were shining brightly like they did every night. But, unlike every night, right then, Steve was out there sitting on the old metal stairs.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you went over to the window, once again maneuvering around the kids and their sleeping bags, and then opening it wide enough so that you could step out onto the fire escape. When you smelled what exactly was happening out there, you quickly closed the window behind you.

“I feel very offended that you didn’t bring me out here for this,” You said to Steve, eyeing the joint between his fingers as you sat down next to him. After immediately getting hit by the cold night air, you were glad that you had a blanket wrapped around you, and you gave some of it to Steve.

“I didn’t wanna wake you,” He said, grabbing the end part of the blanket that you slung around his shoulders and adjusting it.

“You can always wake me up for this,” You told him as you pushed yourself even closer to him so that you both were nicely huddled within the throw blanket. “And for anything, really.”

He smiled at you. “So, whenever I find a spider in my room, I can wake you up to kill it for me?”

“I’m not even going to dignify that question with an answer because you already know that Eddie is our designated bug murderer,” You told him with a small smile before taking the joint from him and bringing it to your lips.

Things became quiet aside from the random street noise below, and it stayed like that for a bit. It was freezing out, and the thin blanket actually wasn’t providing a lot of warmth, but you didn’t mind the goosebumps starting to rise on your skin right then, especially your bare legs.

You turned your head a little to look at Steve. “Can I finally get the full story now of what happened tonight, or do I still have to live in suspense?”

At first, he didn’t say anything, and you almost thought that he still wasn’t going to tell you everything. But then he took a quick drag of the joint and then started speaking. “We got takeout from this burger place that she likes and then went back to her apartment to watch a movie. After the movie we were talking and she asked if I thought that what we’ve been doing could lead to something serious because that’s something that she wants right now. And I told her that I’m not looking for something serious right now, so she said that we shouldn’t see each other anymore.”

You weren’t sure what you thought Steve was going to say, but it wasn’t necessarily that. It didn’t sound like the dramatic and abrupt ending that a part of you expected to hear about. The way things ended between them made sense to you— they wanted different things. In your head, that was probably the most civil way things could end between two people.

“Oh, okay,” You said with a nod. “You seemed so weird earlier, like kinda sad, so I fully thought you were going to tell me something really bad happened. But, that doesn’t sound too bad.”

Steve looked away from you then. “It’s just… I kinda feel like shit about lying to her, though.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you passed the joint back to him. “What did you lie about?”

He was quiet for a long moment and you wished that he was looking at you so you could read his face. “For the most part, I do want something serious. But, I just couldn’t really… see that with Vanessa. I couldn’t picture any sort of a “future” with her.”

“Oh,” You breathed out. You fully didn’t expect to hear him say that, and it was easy to tell how bad he felt about that brutal honesty. “Don’t feel like shit. It’s good that you lied.” You lightly bumped your knee with his so that his eyes met yours again. “If you had told Vanessa that you do want something serious with someone but that someone’s not her, it would’ve just hurt her more.”

“I just don’t get why I couldn’t see it, y’know. And that’s the most confusing part about everything,” He said with a shake of his head, and it was you that felt the need to break the eye contact this time around. “She’s great and things were going really good. Us being together and having something serious would’ve made sense.”

“I think that sometimes the stuff that feels like it should make sense just doesn’t end up feeling right,” You said, your gaze solely focused on a car driving below and you couldn’t help but wonder what the driver was up to this late at night, or early in the morning, depending on how one looked at it. “And I know that was probably the most cryptic and fortune cookie kind of answer, so I’m sorry.”

He laughed a bit. “No, I think I understand what you mean. Kinda.”

You gave him a small smile as he gave you back the joint. You took a slow drag from it and then exhaled out into the freezing Winter air.

You weren’t entirely sure how much time had passed over the next few moments. All you knew was that you were nicely high, and all too quickly the cold didn’t bother you so much anymore because of that, and you suddenly felt the need to let out your own version of brutal honesty.

You closed your eyes and then let out a breath. “I’m sorry.”

Steve’s eyebrows furrowed at your words. “For what?”

“That your date went bad. That I’m kind of relieved that it did.”

You knew that you would’ve told him that eventually. It was hard keeping secrets from him, it had especially been hard not telling him how you’d been feeling the past few weeks. And it felt easier to say it all now because your mind was a little fuzzy and felt a lot less chaotic.

Steve was quiet for a second, letting your words linger in the air as he took another drag. “Why are you relieved?”

You sighed, already knowing that your next words would be somewhat of a lie. “I don’t know…”

He lightly bumped your knee. “That’s not true.”

“I was kind of jealous and really annoyed about you going out with Vanessa,” You said and then sighed again. “Because… It’s just… Things are so much easier when it’s just me and you, I think. When neither of us are in relationships.” Your eyes were still closed and you were leaning your head against Steve’s shoulder as you spoke. “And I know we both want to find someone, and eventually have something serious and long-term and whatever. But, that doesn’t change the fact that when it’s just you and me… it’s really fucking nice.”

“I agree. Completely,” He said, voice soft.

The sigh you let out that time was one of relief. “Good. It’s nice to know that we’re both selfish and clingy in this friendship and just wanna keep each other for ourselves.”

You were only slightly joking with your words.

“In that case,” Steve started. “Maybe we should just date then.”

You let out a giggle as you finally opened your eyes and lifted your head before taking what was left of the joint away from him. “Okay, and I think that’s enough weed for you tonight. I think it just killed all of your most important brain cells.”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” He told you and poked your side, which only made you laugh harder. “But, you’ve never thought about it before? Not once?”

“When I’m drunk and high, yes. At least, I think I do. Most of the time I can’t fully remember,” You answered, your giggles finally subsiding. “But, when I’m sober, no. I never think about it.”

Steve laughed at that.

“What?” You asked as you placed the small bit of what was left of the joint on the ledge of the window.

“I think I’m the same way. I only think about it when I’m so fucking drunk, or high like right now.”

You thought about his words for a second. They felt funny to you just like he thought, but they also felt like something different too.

“Is it weird that we do that?”

His gaze left yours for a moment. “I don’t know. Probably. Maybe.”

Maybe you two should’ve talked about it more; what that all meant, if anything. But you didn’t say anything else because it was easier to just convince yourself that all of what was said just then meant nothing, instead of even thinking about the slim possibility that maybe just maybe it could actually mean something.

So, you kept your mouth shut instead of asking a potentially friendship altering question, and you hoped to God and the universe and whatever else was out there that you wouldn’t be able to recall this part of the conversation in the morning.

“It’s snowing,” Steve said, and you were so grateful for the abrupt subject change because of his observation right then, and you hadn’t even noticed that it was snowing until he mentioned it.

It already seemed to be coming down a fair amount and you smiled at how pretty it looked. You had always loved snow, and you especially loved it even more after you met Steve because you then finally had someone to have snowball fights and build snowmen with.

You wiped away a snowflake that landed on your cheek. “The first fall of snow on the first day of Winter. How poetic?”

“Very,” Steve nodded. “Hopefully it’s not too bad by the morning. The kids will be annoyed if they can’t go to the diner for breakfast. And then we’ll sadly get stuck with having to cook them something.”

“Do you think that they just use us for free food and rides?”

“Oh, yeah, definitely,” He didn’t hesitate to answer. “Wanna go inside? I think the cold is making my high wear off too fast.”

“I would say yes, but I think my ass is now permanently frozen to this stair.”

Steve looked down. “Woah, shit, I didn’t even notice you were wearing shorts.”

“Wow, such a bad friend. You didn’t notice my suffering?” You said sarcastically with an overdramatic shake of your head. “And to think that I came out here to be a great friend and make sure you were okay and not wallowing out here alone. I even let you use some of my blanket.”

Steve laughed at your dramatics as he shrugged the blanket off of his shoulders and fully wrapped it around you instead. “Come on, let’s go inside. You can use the heated blanket that my mom got me last Christmas, if you want.”

“Aw, maybe you are a good friend,” You said jokingly.

He playfully rolled his eyes at you and stood up. “I just know that if you get sick, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

You smiled at him as he started pushing up the window. “You know me so well.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

let me know ur thoughts<333

(requests are open for stuff you wanna see in the universe/series!🫶🏾)

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x fem!reader #stranger things fluff #steve harrington #steve harrington series #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x fem #stranger things fic #stranger things imagine #stranger things series

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exilethegame · 6 months ago

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What's the go-to topic for the RO's if you want to get them talking for the next 4 hours straight? In other words, what kind of things are they most interested in/passionate about?

Hmm...

Vethna: Politics in Vygrand, the ethics of blood magic, the history of magic in general... they are very much an academic at heart and like trying to find the balance between a "perfect world" and reality. Plus they've never spoken about these things to someone who takes them seriously, so having a place to do just that would have Vethna blabbering for hours.

Nikke: Weapons, daggers, specifically. He collects them as he finds them which may be grim to other people (considering he usually takes them from the bodies of the people he kills), but hey... it's still a cool collection, okay? He also loves talking about all his adventures and sharing stupid stories about cool places he's visited. Also fighting techniques. He's genuinely super into that. Goes for Jost + Nikke that they both have A LOT to say about the Taipan gang in Vrithka as well. Like a lot a lot. (None of them are good things)

Jost: Jost is a listener, not a talker. But in the rare, rare occasion you have her going on about something, it's usually because she's upset and somehow, you became the one person she trusts enough to vent things to. It's not necessarily upset as in sad, per se, but she's in a place emotionally where needs someone to bounce ideas and thoughts off of. (However, passion-wise, she's super into the arts, so you could probably pull some words out from her re. arts from the Old Worlds, museums, that sort of thing).

Amilia: Amilia does not stop talking. Amilia will go for hours talking about a cute mushroom on the side of the road, no not underestimate her. And you know what? Yes, she's doing it to annoy who she's with, but part of her really is interested in that mushroom you know. On a more serious note, she's really into music and getting to know people. Amilia's one of those people that makes others open up pretty easily, and it's something she genuinely enjoys since she likes learning the "lore" of individuals. (... is that just gossip?)

Sabir: Astrology, the gods of the Old World, the Old World in general, really. Interestingly enough, Sabir does not enjoy talking about politics. Like you can rile him up if you try hard and enough, but he sincerely tries to avoid getting too far into it because it's such a glib subject. That, and he's already talking about politics all day given his position. Sabir isn't a ramble talker though-- he won't just chatter for hours on end about something. He's into the art of conversation, you see. The back-and-forth is what's fun for him, so he'd rather talk about nothing at all and fill the conversation with shallow banter than passionately talk about his map collection.

Syfyn: Just remind her of the time someone vaguely pissed her off one time and you got about an hour of entertainment off that incident alone. (One time a person cut her in line at the mess hall, one time she stubbed her toe because someone moved a box, one time--) Syfyn also likes talking about combat and training, but Nikke's more like "genuine excitement and tips and tricks" and Syfyn's more like "lmfao I kicked your ASS you're a loser" or "did you see how hard I punched that thing lemme remind you"

Freedom: Hmm... this only works if one is super-super close with Freedom, but they'll be very genuine and skip the word-games when it comes to talking about the Old World, the time when the other gods were alive, their past and people they've met/known. That's the one thing Freedom could speak about for hours and be upfront about AND be genuinely invested in the conversation. They enjoy sharing relics of history with people who are actually willing to listen, and the fact anyone might want to really know about them on an individual level would be very flattering.

#answered #vethna #nikke #amilia #jost #syfyn #sabir #freedom #rip Syfyn she's a blurbo at heart forced to be in her sad girl era #Syfyn + Nikke and Amilia + Freedom would be great convo pairs according to this #I've tried to post this like seven times and Tumblr immediately smote me with a bolt of lightning

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iamgonnagetyouback · 1 month ago

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Heyyy are you requests open?? I have 2 requests for 2 different characters! Recently I just discovered the Ron Weasley Lore and I’m just like why was I sleeping on Ron!!! But could you write something about Ron. Maybe like sorta like glimpse of their relationship throughout the HP years and an aftermath. Ik it’s super long but I love your writing!!!

I’ll send the send one separately cause this one is too long now 😂

ron weasley x reader with your relationship throughout the years

First Year

You and Hermione hit it off immediately – you’re both brilliant, maybe a bit too good at charms and way too nosey. The two of you become an inseparable duo, and Ron? Well, he’s not impressed. He rolls his eyes every time you and Hermione get into a lively debate or excitedly huddle up to compare notes.

“Do you ever stop talking?” he huffs after one particularly long conversation about broomstick history. You give him your best glare, and he just smirks, calling you a “walking library.”

Yeah, he’s not on your favorite people list either.

Second Year

Somehow, Ron’s teasing just gets worse. He sits next to you in Potions and constantly pokes at your side, whispering, “Did you know you snore when you sleep?”

“I do not!” you protest, swatting his hand away.

“Sure, sure,” he grins, leaning back smugly. “Better ask Hermione if you’re not convinced. Or maybe everyone in Gryffindor – they probably heard you all the way up in the boys’ dormitory.”

He even pulls your pigtail one day during Herbology, making you squeal in indignation. He laughs, but you notice Hermione is side-eyeing the whole scene, trying (and failing) to hide a smirk.

Third Year

It's the start of term, and you notice something. Ron’s grown taller, his hair’s more auburn than red in the sunlight, and when he laughs – it’s oddly... nice?

You shake the thought out of your head and give him a harsh glare for no reason as you slam your bag down beside him at breakfast. He jumps and gives you a wide-eyed look.

“What did I do?” he mutters, genuinely looking confused as you stomp off in a huff.

Hermione raises her eyebrows at you later. “Are you sure you don’t have a thing for him?” she teases, barely able to keep her laughter down.

“Absolutely not!” you protest, feeling your cheeks heat up.

Fourth Year

The Yule Ball is coming, and Ron’s been annoying you even more than usual – something about him asking Padma sends you into an unexpected spiral of jealousy. And then, to top it all off, you overhear him fuming about someone dancing with Viktor Krum, and it all clicks in the worst way.

“Oh, of course he likes Hermione,” you mutter to yourself, feeling your chest ache as you walk away before he can say anything else.

The next day, Ron finds you red-eyed, sitting by the lake. He and Harry ask if you’re okay, and in a burst of frustration, you shout, “You two are absolutely clueless!” before storming off.

Ron scratches his head, looking at Harry in complete bafflement. “What did I do?”

Fifth Year

By now, you’ve decided the best way to deal with Ron is to just... not deal with him at all. You start spending more time with Luna, who offers you the peace and acceptance you need. Ron, however, notices the shift.

“Since when are you and Loony Lovegood so close?” he mutters one day, his tone more annoyed than curious.

“Since I found out she’s a better friend than you,” you snap back, not even sparing him a glance.

Harry raises his eyebrows at Ron, while Hermione sighs, clearly fed up with the tension between you two.

“Honestly, Ron, are you ever going to sort this out?” Hermione whispers later. But Ron just shrugs, as though he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to sort out.

Sixth Year

This year, you make a brave decision: move on from Ron. And Draco, of all people, catches your eye. The two of you start dating casually – it’s friendly, flirty, and you like his mischievous sense of humor. But when Ron catches wind of it, he’s absolutely fuming.

“You’re dating Malfoy?” he demands, storming up to you one day in the library.

“Oh, now you care who I’m with?” you retort, rolling your eyes.

Draco smirks, stepping beside you with a cool, “Problem, Weasley?”

You and Draco part ways amicably by the end of the year, but Hermione nearly loses her patience with Ron’s grumbling. “For Merlin’s sake, Ron! She’s single now,” she all but yells at him. “Stop sulking and do something about it.”

Seventh Year

Finally, it’s here – the year everything changes. Between the chaos of the war and the danger lurking around every corner, Ron finally realizes his feelings. He catches himself watching you more than usual, every smile and laugh searing into his mind.

One night, he pulls you aside, eyes downcast. “I... I’ve been a git,” he admits, voice barely above a whisper.

“What was that?” you tease, crossing your arms.

Ron’s cheeks turn red, but he continues, “I’m trying to say... I’m sorry. For everything.” His voice softens, vulnerability flickering in his gaze. “And... I’ve missed you. Really.”

You bite your lip, the old pain and confusion melting away. “Well, it took you long enough to realize that,” you whisper, offering him a small smile.

Ron lets out a shaky laugh, then reaches for your hand. “Can I... would you... go to Hogsmeade with me? Maybe?”

“Maybe,” you reply, and with a teasing grin, “If you buy me a Butterbeer.”

He grins back, squeezing your hand tightly. And as you walk back to the castle, Harry shoots you both a knowing, smug look, while Hermione just shakes her head, finally relieved.

Aftermath

“Dad, you were so clueless!” your daughter exclaims, eyes wide as she stares between you and Ron.

Ron lets out a bark of laughter, ruffling her hair affectionately. “Oi! I was not clueless!” He glances at you, chuckling. “Right, love? I mean, you were just as lost!”

You raise an eyebrow. “Oh, really? Because I distinctly remember somebody storming up to me in the library, fuming about Draco Malfoy.”

Ron’s cheeks turn a shade of red as he leans back, giving a sheepish grin. “I was just looking out for you. Malfoy had an… attitude.”

Your daughter’s giggles fill the room. “Dad, I think you just didn’t want Mum dating anyone else!”

“Okay, maybe there was a bit of that,” he admits, winking at you. “But your mum wasn’t exactly clear either. I mean, there were days she’d stomp off before I’d even said ‘hello!’”

“Oh, that’s true,” you say, giving a playful sigh. “All because of a certain Gryffindor boy with no clue how to express his feelings.”

“Hey!” he protests, throwing his hands up in surrender. “I was just busy fighting off trolls, acromantulas, and basilisks, you know? Didn’t exactly leave time for romance.”

Your daughter grins, eyes twinkling. “And then what, Mum? When did you finally realize Dad was totally in love with you?”

You exchange a knowing smile with Ron, your hands automatically finding each other. “Seventh year,” you reply softly. “After everything we'd been through, he finally told me how he felt.”

Ron squeezes your hand, his thumb brushing over your fingers. “And she finally stopped running off every time I came near her,” he teases, looking down at your daughter. “And then, we just… never let go.”

Your daughter beams, resting her chin on her hands. “You guys are so cute.”

Ron laughs, giving her a light nudge. “Oi, enough with the ‘cute!’ Now, do you want to hear about the time your mum hexed me because she thought I called her a know-it-all?”

“Oh, yes!” she cries, practically bouncing. “Tell me everything!”

And with that, you and Ron launch into another one of your Hogwarts stories, the laughter of your little family echoing warmly through the room.

first time writing for ron and i loved it!!

#ron weasley fluff #ron weasley x reader #ron weasley angst #ronald weasley #ron weasley #ivy's soft scribbles ೀ #whispers from 👀

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lowkeyrobin · 10 months ago

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can i ask for qsmp reacting to new member reader who is russian??

yes of course!! I love this request sm, hopefully I got everyone you're looking for! sorry if these are a little ooc, I'm learning a lot and watching a lot about the qsmp still so hopefully this is good lol. kind of a mix of q! selves and cc! selves so 💀

QSMP ; meeting a russian creator

includes ; tubbo, quackity, cellbit, jaiden, roier, wilbur, foolish, slimecicle, tina, and nihachu

warnings ; language, probably ooc 💀💀

masterlist

TUBBO

"oh, hi! are you the new member???"

he's really nice, helps you build a house and stuff to get started and whatnot

you, him & sunny spend a lot of time together, especially because quackity gave you your own child too

sunny & your egg absolutely love each other, and perfectly balance one another out

tubbo teaches you all about his machines and factories and whatnot

welcomes you with open arms to the town of fobo

talks to you about the federation and whatnot, how they're basically the government and to just avoid them at all costs

even with a language barrier (if you don't speak English as well) you guys are so tight

always fucking around together somehow

he adds you into his lore as well

QUACKITY

welcomes you with kindness and open arms

introduces you to your own egg 😭🫶

he's got a lot of energy and is very chaotic, literally sprints around the whole smp showing you everything and catching you up into lore stuff

if he fucks up a first impression, he repeatedly tries to make it up and corrects himself and whatnot

doing dumb shit with him and richarlyson is a must

you guys become really good friends and make some great lore ideas together

if you speak a little/lot of English, you guys will just have chitter-chatter streams together and build a little tree house for the eggs

CELLBIT

"hello!!"

you teach him a little Russian and he teaches you a little French

even if you have a language barrier he's really nice to you

very selfless, if you need something, hes got you

if you get kidnapped, good lord is he holding a grudge

has a protective type of personality, makes sure to keep you and your egg safe if you two come across some federation funny business together

starts to learn Russian because he thinks it's a cool language

surprises you one day with a phrase in Russian and you're just like "???? hello cellbit?"

"was that a good pronunciation? I'm still learning"

puzzles >>>>

used to be a rlly good pvper so he teaches you some outdated tricks lol

JAIDEN

"Oh my God, hi!!"

teaches you all about how the smp works and tells you all about her adventures

also takes you on adventures with her when you stream together

through the language barrier, you still get along really well and enjoy each other's humor and company

building together >>>

such great inputs from each side

in lore, she's kind of just off to herself, and alone

she can't really trust other people whatsoever now

but when you come around, she's a bit more open but obviously wants to be left alone

teaches you all about her pets

she rubbed off her love for vocaloid on you

ROIER

welcomes you with a smile

teaches you all about lore and whatnot

mentions his and cellbits wedding at least 3 times

gives you a little referral to therapy

he's currently a rat in lore so uh

he kinda just uses you as a pedestal for now

"y/n, tell them that im the superior rat, please"

you repeat the phrase in russian to any other russian creators you joined the server with

becomes a co-parent to your egg

very level-headed, somehow always has a plan

"Oh, yeah, the federation kidnaps people, just stay away from them"

"Dude what"

everyday is his birthday

you play into the bit by singing happy birthday in russian and giving him some sort of food

WILBUR SOOT

very formal first impression

introduces you to tallulah

tallulah is kinda iffy about you and your egg at first but she warms up to you guys

if you're the building type, he'll do the dirty work to get you the stuff you need to make a house, or anything you wanna build

on top of learning french, dutch, and spanish, you get him invested in russian as well

in lore, he believes that most problems can be solved by love, and you just kinda go with it because he's nice enough and whatnot

teaches you some stuff about music

you guys do a lot of yap streams while grinding up some resources on the island to make some new locations and whatnot

"the pattern you're doing looks like upside down dicks"

"wh- wilbur, why would you say that?"

if you're still learning English, and it's kinda broken when you speak or you say something wrong, he kindly corrects you and teaches you correct pronunciations

becomes a co-parent to your egg as well

you teach the eggs the "scary fight like a badass" stuff and he's the "be nice, children" parent

FOOLISH GAMERS

you're immediately introduced to his laugh

kind of reckless, but pretty laid back

pretty playful as well, likes to joke around with you

he doesn't have a reason to not trust you yk

you're very overprotective of your egg and anxious that you'll let something bad happen, but if he becomes a co-parent, he releases your egg from the little plastic box you have them in when you aren't around

does the whole Batman bit with you on your first stream on the qsmp

holy shit the amount of laughter

he wants to leave a good impression on you, thinks you're really cool lol

you've mutually decided that he builds exteriors, you design interiors

SLIMECICLE

probably wasn't even aware new people were joining

"who the hell is that???"

like you're trying to let quackity teach you the basics and he's staring from a distance like he's gonna plot to kill you

tries to joke around and say hello in russian but ends up saying some random phrase that didn't make sense

"You just said your toes taste like cheese"

"Wait, what?"

makes you a bitch wife/husband asap

makes you curse people out in russian when he gets slightly offended

definition of the uwu cat boy and tall angry bully gay stereotype

in lore he's got some serious psychological problems but it's okay!! you can deal with it

quackity tells you about the whole gegg think and you sit there like "okay wtf"

TINA KITTEN

you guys just kinda run into each other one day and you ask her for help on something

something clicked man, yall are such an iconic duo

you guys build a whole mansion near the sea together for the eggs

in lore, she's pretty reserved and isolates herself, and you become one of the many tk worry about her and try and give her advice

secrets are safe with her 💳💥💥💥

you guys own a little farm together too

Em and your egg get along so well

she has a little proud mom moment

tetris competitions.

she likes to draw and she loves drawing you and your egg together it's so cute

NIKI NIHACHU

she's kind of shy but your personalities balance each other out

she's sworn to protect everyone, and you and your egg are quickly added to that list

baking with her>>

you work with her at empanadas bakery

she talks to you all about psychology and how it fascinates her and stuff

you learn a lot from her

lots of compliments whether it be builds or even outfits you're showing off to you're stream

she easily becomes a co-parent of your egg lol

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt preferences #mcyt x reader #wilbur soot x reader #mcyt oneshot #quackity x reader #nihachu x reader #tubbo x reader #qsmp #qsmp x reader #qsmp tubbo #qsmp cellbit #qsmp roier #qsmp jaiden #qsmp tina #qsmp niki

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makimahinalno · 2 months ago

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I mostly avoid watching Veilguard gameplay reveals because I want to play the game without spoilers, so this rant might be wrong, but after reading this post I can't stop thinking about Evanuris, especially Andruil and Ghilan'nain.

So my question is, is this JUST Ghilan'nain?? What if it is BOTH Ghilan'nain and Andruil?? Did they merge together in some sort of a ritual? It looks like two bodies!

We know how Solas painted them on a mural while Varric was chasing him in Dragon Age: The Missing:

When this was released, I can say that most people had agreed that Andruil is the one in green, while Ghilan'nain is the one in pinkish-red.

1. Ghilan'nain has white hair in legends which is shown on a mural. Her head-piece is horned and it shows her status as a Mother of the Halla, after all she created them. I also find the positions in which they are drawn to be interesting. She is shown under Andruil, her hands are reaching up towards the Huntress with adoration and reverence in her eyes. Andruil approached Ghilan'nain to offer her apotheosis, she is looking down at her and her position looks like she is "lifting up" the new goddess. (Solas could be romanticising it, I doubt it was like that in real life lol)

2. Now about Andruil. Andruil's head piece looks like a bow as she is the Goddess of the Hunt. But it also looks like a crescent moon. She is described as a "sister of a moon", but also daughter of Mythal (Moon) and Elgar'nan (Sun). Oral legends can be mixed (no writing to back it up, written elvish is extremely rare), but we can agree for certain that there was some kind of kinship between Mythal and Adruil. Both are black of hair, maybe there were mother and daughter, or maybe they're sisters (perhaps blood-sisters even?).

And yet Ghilan'nain looks like she is the one wearing Andruil's head piece in Solas' flashback. And I keep wondering why? There is no way that writers suddenly decided to change the lore (Solas' mural about the two goddesses is canon btw, it's not fanmade) and their design for no reason. This convo definately takes place after Mythal and Andruil's fight. We know Andruil grew corrupted by the Blight, she put on the armour of the Void and many forgot how she looked like. Mythal managed to defeat her, but how? What if she killed her, but they refused to announce it to their subjects because it would look TERRIBLE that a "god" can be killed.

My theory is that Ghilan'nain went crazy because of Andruil's death and she tried to bring her back to life somehow. She took her head piece in memory of her slain lover, so she can be always with her. (Solas was shocked btw at Ghilan'nain's change, after all she was the most sensitive). And we can tell that Ghilan'nain loves body horror, what is she merged the lower half of Andruil into her? So they are forever together omg.

Andruil has a GOLDEN SPEAR.

This is Ghilan'nain wielding some kind of a weapon, it looks like a spear (I don't think it's a staff). Is it Andruil's spear? I think soo!!!

I need the game out ASAP, I need the loreeee, I need answers. I really hope that they are attached to each others bodies cause it's just some crazy body horror. Did Ghilan'nain really attach her girlfriends corpse onto her own? God I hope so 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

#ghilan'nain #andruil #solas #mythal #evanuris #dragon age #dragon age the missing #dragon age inquisition #dragon age veilguard

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mamawasatesttube · 9 months ago

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For your Tim mentor au, what’s the craziest piece of Tim lore the kids have each collected? I can see them having once a month meetings where they compete to see who got the most mind boggling info about Tim. Idk what the number gets.

they don't collect any sort of tim lore.

see, they don't think tim is cool. no baby hero thinks their mentor is one of the cool ones! tim doesn't hero-worship batman. none of young justice thought red tornado was super neat. bart's not out here like "wow the flash!!!" he's like "wally your wife is way cooler than you lol." i guess kon and cassie are kind of exceptions in that they DO think superman and wonder woman are really cool, but not in the way that baby tim thought superman was cool, let alone the way baby tim thought ted kord was cool.

every time they hear a story of tim being impressively competent or anything they're like. whoa. like it makes sense (he can take down all four of us in hand to hand sparring at once) but also it makes NO sense (he says "get pwned lol" every time he takes down all four of us in the sparring ring.) they are not hero-worshipping tim. tim is their teacher who is prone to dry humor and falling asleep in weird places and tinkering with weird gadgets. it's just also that somehow he knows?? everyone???? he's friends with EVERYONE???

so if anything, they're gossipping about tim having a history with supernova. about tim knowing xenia!!!! impulse (or mercury?) invites himself in at one point like oh you guys are talking about tim? i have stories! and they're all like HOLY SHIT... IT'S IMPULSE. tim's like guys i promise you NONE of these guys are any cooler than me. i've seen cassie trip over her own lasso and shock herself because her wife unbuttoned a single button on her shirt on a hot day. guys. come on. STOP agreeing when supernova says ttk is the best power ever. he does NOT need a bigger head about it!!!

but this gaggle of teenagers will not be deterred. they do not think tim is cool. tim understands red tornado better than ever.

#answers #derp-a-la-sheep #mentorverse au

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dronebiscuitbat · 1 month ago

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"Rage" - a Tera Doorman Character Study

Hi! It's 2am and here I am dumping some Tera lore on your lap. Is it sad? Yes. Does it flesh out the character more? Hell Yes. Is it pleasant to read? No. This is very much not fun- Tera is dealing with a lot here, it's heavy. You have been warned.

Tera was strong, she was fast, she could outfly a Sky Snatcher and go toe to toe with her Aunt V in a sparring match if she so chose. She could take out the biggest predators on the planet without breaking a synthetic sweat.

So why the fuck was her core trying to beat out of her chest when she was face to face with some nobody who smacked her in the back of the head as she was getting stuff out of her locker.

“What? You gonna bite me freak?” The drone was faceless- unimportant, but the words cracked like a whip regardless.

“Fuck off!” She snarled back, hand balling into a fist as her internal temperature skyrocketed, her teeth bared, tail coiled like a snake about to strike.

She knew the person didn't actually believe she'd bite them- or even hurt them. If they did they would leave her the hell alone. No, they knew she couldn't touch them;wouldn't allow herself to.

“Naw… look how angry you are, come on! Punch me! You know you wanna!” They egged her on, the grip on her own fist tighted to the point her own tiny claws were slicing into silicone flesh, her own oil pooling into her hands and down her fingers.

The rage built higher, the solver symbol beginning to dance wildly in place of one of her eyelights, but she couldn't, she'd kill them, she didn't want to kill them, but they needed to shut up!

“Leave me alone!” Why didn't they get that it wasn't a threat. But a warning? A desperate plea to get away before she exploded?

“Coward! You talk so much shit for someone‐”

It snapped.

Her fist was suddenly three meat hooks, slashing forward without any sort of control; the kid barely ducked out of the way in time as her claws sunk so deep into a locker she could feel the contents inside.

Her tail lashed out without warning nor care when her initial attack missed- striking without input from it's host and barely missing another drone that had crowded around her.

Her breath came out in pants, core pounding like she was facing down the most terrifying thing imaginable.

The faceless drone and the crowd they'd drawn in scattered in fear, screaming like this was somehow unexpected. Like they hadn't been rattling the cage for the better part of Tera's lifetime.

She just stood there for a moment, catching her breath, body trembling as she tried to regain control, instead of pulling her hand out of the locker, she leaned against it, the other, non-clawed hand coming to rest on the part of it that didn't have a massive gash in it.

She sighed, before screaming and punching the shit out of it with her free hand until it was unrecognizable and her fist was banged up and covered in a thin veneer of her own oil.

This anger was directed at herself.

She yanked her hand out of the locker, ripping the door off and slinging it into the wall behind her with a gigantic bang, sending the contents flying out; paper, books, hopefully nothing of personal value…

She didn't look back at the mess she'd made, throwing open the front doors of the school and immediately flying off away from town, breath shaky and body trembling like a volcano in an earthquake.

The second she was a safe distance, both hands turned to claws, an ‘><’ covered her visor and she attacked the nearest tree, swiping at it over and over and over again, tears somehow materializing even through the X on her visor.

“FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!!” She cursed and howled and made unearthly cries as the base of the tree was mangled beyond even a shred of recognition. It was only when several of her claws broke off into the ancient tree that she hissed in pain and stopped, out of breath.

She fell backwards, sitting down. Looking at her own mangled hands, she almost smiled at the fact her claws had come off- until they slowly began to regenerate, nanites smoothing the broken edges and repairing them back to deadly sharp.

Her smile fell, and she fell backwards to lay on her back, breathing finally steadying out, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the blue grass below her, the breeze flowing through her hair and the smell of rain and moist earth filled her olfactory receptors.

After anger, came regret.

She put her sore hands over her visor now that they were back to normal and kept them there, continuing her forced deep breaths until they transformed into something else entirely.

A sob wrenched itself out of her throat, ugly and loud and quite the opposite of the strength she was known for, her gut unraveling into gasps between heavy- frame rattling sobs.

She'd done it again.

She'd lost control again.

It didn't matter how much she tried to stop it, to suppress the feeling of rage that seemed to follow her everywhere, it was always there- never to go away. A constant terrible worm in the back of her mind that suggested the most terrible things.

Punch him.

Bite her.

Kill them.

Eat the core. Eat it, you're so hung-

She grunted, feeling the burn of the solver symbol in her eye once more, she blinked, trying so hard to block those thoughts out.

She didn't want to hurt anyone.

She didn't!

But the rage still followed- a ticking time bomb.

She sat up, flexing her fingers through the grass, the smell of rain grew closer- and a rumble of thunder cracked through the air. She had to get home soon, lest she wanted to rust over.

She didn't move.

Would that really be so bad? She couldn't hurt anyone if her joints were locked up with corrosion. If she wasn't near anyone- returning to the soil in the only way an artificial being can.

She still didn't move when she could hear the rain approaching, seeing the sky darken as she looked up through the canopy.

She sighed. Her mom would find her, or even worse- Bishop would, and it would mess him up, mess her whole family up. Mess them up even more then she already was.

Kiara flashed through her thoughts.

Kiara still needed her, she was going through hell at home, she didn't need this dumped on her as well. Tera wanted to be there when she needed her- couldn't to that if she was rusting into nothing.

She stood up, expression deadpan.

And she flew home. Landing on the balcony just in time, rain pelting down a moment after like she'd brought it with her.

Her hand hovered over the doorknob, a breath was taken. And a mask of pure indifference fell over her features. It didn't bother her, she was fine, everything was fine.

She opened the door.

“Hey. I'm home.”

#murder drones #oil is thicker then blood #tera doorman #I'm not sure what warnings i should put here #tera thinks about leaving herself out in the rain- think about what that means for a robot

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ask-the-rag-dolly · 8 months ago

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I've been gone for like 2 months and I just came back only to find Mod Bee shaming/scolding/guilt tripping anons for who knows what, Raggedy Ann is here somehow, Ragatha's mental health got even worse somehow, and Caine is sort of just there? Huh?? Especially confused with whatever's going on rn. What did the anons do? Man, I'm months behind in terms of lore. I'm gonna need a TLDR-

welcome to phase 2 it'll be more of a clusterfuck than phase 1 . i kind of recommend reading from the beginning but if you still want a bad summary : caine was about to anti-virus ragatha but she escapes through an exit door , caine chases after her and loses his powers , the exit door turns out to take from the person's memories including traumatic ones . the anons try to make ragatha face her trauma Too early which makes her feel worse .

i was more amused than anything tbh but oh well people thought they were helping so i might as well give out pointers on what would Actually help her because apparently i cannot ever pass up the opportunity to educate people about trauma and how it affects a person

#[ ooc ]

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desiredcaramellatte · 1 year ago

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Do you think you could do some crk self aware au stuff?? The tag is painfully dead.. if not feel free to delete lmfao

That aside, during Cookie Odyssey, I was **convinced** that soulstones we're going to come into play somehow, it was like my major theory during ch.2, and nobody could convince me otherwise but it never happened. Giving the soulstones an in lore explanation would've been fricking awesome imo..

Can we get some HCs of the player (or their in game kingdom) basically having a monopoly on soulstones while the cookies are left scratching their heads as to not only how they work, but also how the reader got what is technically a part of their souls.

Write for anyone really, idm that much. I generally like the Creme Republic though-- whether reader is still behind the screen or knows the cookies are self aware is up to you really.

That would be very cool if they actually had a lore explanation :0 I thought the soul jams were soul stones first time I heard about them tbh, they just linked together in my mind, also reader is so real for trading monies for souls

I have never written self aware before so apologies if it sucks-

Anyways enough of my ranting, hcs yes

Self aware cookies & reader

(Who has a soul stone monopoly)

Gingerbrave & friends

Gingerbrave is one of the least confused cookies regarding this, to be honest. Mainly because he doesn't really care enough/doesn't notice to really question it. You gather these little trinkets that make him stronger! Cudos to you from this boy.

Wizard, on the other hand, is confused as hell of this process. Where do these stones come from? Are they truly linked to the Cookie's souls? Does that mean that they are not fully themself and/or complete until they are fully leveled, even if they only materialize with twenty of them?

Wizard just wants to know. He has asked you multiple times over, getting confused by your answers and delving in deeper whenever he can. Exactly WHERE do they come from? He's obsessed with finding out by this point.

Strawberry really doesn't mind. She's a little confused where they come from, but, like Gingerbrave, she doesn't question it too much. She does like to occasionally made theories, but she doesn't really like to share them.

If you're good friends with her she may share some of her theories with you, but none of the wild ones, and only if you ask.

Clotted Cream

WHOLE ASS ENGROSSED. He wants to know everything about the soulstones. Where do they come from? How would one even 'farm' these and how does farming a soul even work?

More specifically, he is trying to find a connection between soulstones and souljam. They do almost the same thing and have very similar names- they're both linked to the soul, and make cookies stronger.

He has spent many restless nights awake thinking about this.

Much like Wizard in that he's harassing you for answers, but he does asks questions more subtly.

Clotted Cream has flipped a few tables (with occasional assistance from Financier) before, mainly when he gets annoyed enough at not having a verifiable answer to this.

Financier

It is what it is. She accepts this. She's got dragged into the theorizing by Clotted Cream.

Chilling, mainly. She doesn't really mind not care. Likely to thank you for doing your best to collect them and to make everyone, including her, stronger.

Black Raisin

Intrigued by the sparkliness of most of these soulstones. Much like a crow, she is attracted to shiny objects. Her crow friends are too.

Black Raisin has a small hoard of soulstones that she's occasionally found, of all different sorts of cookies. The sparkler the soulstone, the likelier she and/or her crows are to snatch and hoard. If the soulstone is just a pretty rock then she'll also hoard those too.

If you really need a soulstone she will likely give one to you. How often and/or how many depends on her connection to you.

She's farming them with you by this point.

Oyster

Yoinks you.

She wants to have conversations about this. She wants to know what they are and where they come from. She will offer you tea and scones while the two of you converse.

When she first found out that her stones are Super Epic, she was very proud of herself.

Probably sends you back with some every time you come visit her.

Captain Caviar

Doesn't believe they exist. They're just rocks. Nothing more.

He will stand by his claim to the death. This WILL be the hill he died on. Captain Caviar does not believe soulstones exist.

Probably has made some propaganda about soulstones being fake. Socks, hats, jackets, you name it, he's likely made it with the words "Soulstones do not exist, numbskull" in big letter on it. Except shirts.

Pure Vanilla

Very much like Oyster. Will likely join in on your conversation time and/or will invite the two of you over for his homemade tea and treats!

Most likely to understand how Soulstones work due to him wielding Souljam, which is the most similar thing to them. Also the fact he has lived for a long time and has gathered many knowledge on the subject.

Probably has a book on the subject somewhere.

He likes to sit and watch the Ferris Wheel Landmark rotate. He likes the motion.

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muses-with-afp · 5 months ago

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In terms of Bleachy things that I am never not thinking about given my particular sort of brainrot, it would have to be Chapter 179, Confession in the Twilight. Today, I want to overthink long and hard about assumptions fandom often makes about Hisana. Some of these assumptions are not well-supported by the canon. Other of these assumptions likely stem from material added by the anime and/or the movie Fade to Black.

Because I'm sort of "meh" on the supplementary material from the anime and pretty "blah" on the Bleach movies overall, I will stick to the manga. (I am also a simple creature with only two brain cells to rub together now-a-days so... there's that, too.) I am sure there are more assumptions one could pick apart and torture to death, but for the sake of brevity (I write cackling because when am I ever brief?) below are my top three.

1. Assumption One: Hisana had no spiritual power/pressure

This one is odd to me because we, the audience, do not have a whole lot of evidence to base this assumption off of. Byakuya never says anything of this sort to Rukia during the confession:

Although, it is possible that Hisana was spiritually weak, and what made it difficult for her to survive was taking care of a baby with significant spiritual pressure/power. This explanation is entirely possible, but, based on the English translation, it is not the only interpretation one could draw.

Honing in on the"[b]ut it was hard for her to survive there while caring for you..." bit, this could suggest that Hisana, in fact, needed more than vibes and water to survive herself. We get a sense in Bleach that siblings often have similar capacities in terms of spiritual power and pressure, and we know Rukia is spiritually gifted. Accordingly, one could make the leap that Hisana, too, had some spiritual capacity. Now, I think the case for sibling similarities in spiritual talents is probably strongest for the souls born in SS since they presumably are most "genetically" related (or whatever concept passes for "genetic" relationships in SS), one assumes. This, of course, also assumes you buy the idea that Hisana and Rukia were just ordinary souls who passed from the WOTL to SS. KT, however, has thrown a wrench into this explanation by suggesting that Rukia is a secret... eighth thing/potential hybrid. (At least, I think we are up to eight soul "ecotypes" now .... Maybe it's nine if we add in the lore from Burn the Witch.) Perhaps this secret variation/hybrid is specific to Rukia, or maybe it applies to both sisters equally.

Other evidence that could support Hisana as having some spiritual capacity (beyond being a spiritual dandelion) includes:

According to Renji, the only way to escape Inuzuri was to attend the Academy/become a shinigami. It's possible that Renji was speaking only in terms of "legality" (i.e., the only legal way to leave your assigned district/town/placement is to gain admittance to the Academy) since we know Kenpachi and crew exist. Could Hisana have gotten out of Inuzuri using the Academy loophole? Sure! Why not? Was Hisana a bloody tank like Kenpachi and fought her way out of the city? Maybe but probably not, since she felt driven to abandon her sister, which doesn't seem very warlord-like of her. Maybe Hisana never actually left Inuzuri after the abandonment. The "[a]bandoned you and ran" (emphasis mine) part of the story makes it sound like she left the city, but maybe she just ran away from Rukia and went to another part of Inuzuri or the district.

Rukia somehow managed to survive (i.e., maybe it wasn't the demands (or just the demands) of a spiritually needy baby that drove Hisana to abandon her). We don't know much/anything about the period of Rukia's life between the abandonment and meeting Renji, so it's hard to say how needy she was as a soul baby.

Hisana hung out with/lived with Byakuya, who we know (a) has a metric ton of spiritual power and pressure, and (b) lives in a city full of similarly situated souls. Canonically, weaker souls seem greatly affected by the spiritual pressure of the more spiritually capable souls in Bleach, which could suggest that she had enough to withstand living in Seireitei and being married to someone with a lot of the stuff.

Depending on whether you think Rukia is anywhere near the ballpark in terms of her age vis-à-vis Ichigo (150 years, by the way), Hisana's life span would have been about 100 years in SS, which isn't particularly short. It seems that souls with some spiritual power/pressure tend to live longer than souls without it.

As Byakuya continues with his confession to Rukia, he says that Hisana "searched for [Rukia] almost every day for the next five years." If you take this literally, it sounds like Hisana went out into the slums regularly, which is pretty far away from Kuchiki manor. Without some sort of fast travel option (the Kuchiki are rich so maybe one exists...), it seems that she would have needed to learn a pretty good flash-step to make that trek anyway feasible. Although, it is possible that Byakuya meant Hisana searched for Rukia in a more abstract sense since, as a noble, she would finally have resources (beyond her physically trekking out there) to conduct a search. It could also be both.

2. Assumption Two: Hisana was (or was not) doing XYZ before marriage

This assumption likely piggybacks off the one above. Since we are given no indication as to what Hisana was doing before marriage, if you assume she was a spiritually weak being, it makes sense for the years between abandonment and marriage to be full of scrounging and hiding from scary beings/thugs/monsters/take-your-pick. And, true, the reckless noble/prince taking an unwashed but kindly peasant girl as a wife is an oldie goldie in terms of romance tropes.

But, as noted above, Hisana could have been literally anything. Shinigami? Sure! Secret agent/informant? Why not!? In CFYOW, Yourichi gets pretty annoyed at Tokinada for speaking ill of Hisana. It's possible that she's irritated with him because he's trying to goad Byakuya into an altercation and is using Byakuya's dead wife as the ammo (which, yeah, is a pretty gross thing to do). Alternatively, there could be a personal connection between the two women (which may provide further color on Rukia being chosen as a vessel for the orb, don't mind me just out here speculating). We know the higher districts are rough, and, at least according to Renji, Inuzuri is full of criminals and bastards of all stripes. Hisana could've been a crime lord, a lackey to a crime lord, a thief, a prostitute, a hustling gambler, a bookie, basically anything. The vagueness is glorious!!!

3. Assumption Three: Hisana died of ghost consumption a respiratory illness

This assumption likely arises from the anime (although forgive me if I'm wrong about this since it has been a while since I've watched the anime) and Fade to Black, which has a scene where Hisana has a coughing fit. The manga, however, gives no indication:

All Byakuya says is he "lost his wife." To what? Who knows?! Be more specific, Byakuya!

We also don't get a whole lot of evidence to indicate what killed her during the confession scene.

Hisana isn't sweating, and her futon is white as is the bit of clothing we see, so it doesn't look like she's necessarily suffered a physical attack/assault. She's also, notably, not coughing....

For reference, below are Byakuya's bludgeoned panels because we have a lot of parallels between her deathbed request and Byakuya's confession to Rukia:

To be fair, Byakuya's blanket and pad aren't bloody either, but his captain's coat sure is, and, goodness, is he sweaty! Although, perhaps Byakuya's memory of Hisana strips away the gory and gruesome bits (e.g., blood, sweat, coughing, gasping, gurgling death rattles, anguished groaning, etc.) since... well... no one actually dies pretty.

Based on the manga retelling of Hisana's expiration, the cause of death was... literally anything. Okay, I kid. I kid.

Sort of.

Maybe her COD wasn't literally anything. She was at least in a bed ready for death and had enough time to call upon her husband. (Although, so is Byakuya here, and he was stabbed like thirty minutes ago and is giving similar sorts of vibes to poor Rukia.) My guess is that whatever Hisana had, she succumbed to it over a period of time, which rules out causes of death that come fast, but a lot of deaths aren't immediate (unfortunately). Maybe she sustained internal injuries that took her, which would parallel nicely with Byakuya in these panels. Maybe she had "beautiful wife consumption," which is an oldie goldie trope for doomed lovers. Maybe she had whatever soul flu or illness afflicted Byakuya's dad. Maybe she had some sort of soul cancer. If you're doing the math (or a version of the math since time in Bleach is wobbly), Byakuya and Hisana married a year or so after WWII. It's not a pleasant thought, but cancer (leukemia and solid) rates went up five+ years later for obvious reasons, and perhaps this is an abstract/unconscious nod to that of sorts.

But, who can say??? Not me, that's for damn sure!

From a practical story-telling perspective, I imagine that KT leaves a lot of wiggle room around this period to avoid caging himself in for whatever reveal he had/has in store regarding Rukia's backstory/heritage/why Urahara picked her to put the orb into/etc.

#bleach #hisana kuchiki #rukia kuchiki #byakuya kuchiki

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