#I need to sleep for work tomorrow but I think this was worth it lol

[somegrumpynerd]

@pigeonstab I finally got some motivation in me so it's time to extend Cross's misery lol

Also I had a bonus thought while drawing this:

Nobody understands what he's going through

[vitiateoriginator]

My datemate was sick recently (only had it for 2 days). I knew I'd catch his cold regardless, so I kissed him, despite it increasing the odds of illness. I am a sick, empty headed frog, who is too full if love

[rizzyu]

▵▿— Sorcery Class

Pairing: Shu Yamino x fem! Reader

Category: Suggestive, hints of the saxophone dance at the end

Warning: Sussy sussy you straddling Shu, sussy sussy Shu giving you hickeys, just sussy sussy

Summary: Shu was teaching you about sorcery and potions but when you were starting to doze off, he thought of a way to help you stay focused.

A/N: Hardest part was trying to figure out what question about sorcery I can put in lol

no actually the hardest part was pressing that “post” button and showing this to the world 💀

���Alright, show me what you’ve been practising on.”

You sat on the tatami mat opposite Shu in his sorcery room. You had always been captivated by his ability to use sorcery and had been practically begging him to teach you some. For the past few weeks, you had been practising some simple sorcery skills that Shu had taught you, and today he wanted to see your progress.

With a quick circular movement of your wrist and a flash of flames, you summoned a Shikigami. The thin sheet of paper the shape of a doll was clamped between the two fingers you held out. “How’s that?” Shu gave you a smug smile. “It seems that you’ve perfectly mastered summoning Shikigamis.” You beamed happily at your achievements. “So what will you teach me next?” “How about I teach you how to make some basic potions?”

So here you are, stuck in his room, trying not to fall asleep as Shu rants on and on about the chemical properties of each potion. You were at first excited to earn about this, but the way Shu was explaining everything for hours on end like a speaking encyclopedia was not really enticing. Your eyes started feeling heavy as you leaned your cheek against your palm. You were starting to give into your tiredness when you felt your chin getting lifted up. Your eyes darted open to see Shu leaning close to your face. “Hey… are you sleeping during my class? Weren’t you the one all hyped up about me teaching you sorcery?” You felt your cheeks heat up due to the close proximity. And by “close proximity” I mean close enough for you to count his long onyx-coloured lashes.

You tried to look anywhere but his face as you tried to reason your way out of this. “Sorry… I just didn’t get enough sleep last night… And you had been talking for a long time now…” Shu looked at you with his amethyst eyes. “Well, whatever the case is, I’ll be testing you on this tomorrow, so I’d recommend you stay focused… Or if you can’t stay focused on your own… I can make you pay attention.”

That offer caught you unprepared. You turned your head to face him, eyes staring at each other. What did he mean by “I can make you pay attention”? You didn’t really know, but if it would help you get these chemical properties of the potions into your brain, it was worth a try.

…

You had never thought you’d experience straddling Shu’s lap as he teaches you sorcery, but here you are. Every time Shu sensed that you were starting to space out, he’d give you a kiss on the neck or shoulder, leaving you all flustered. To think Shu would be able to do something like this… What in the world did Vox teach him?

Before long, it was already nighttime.

“Alright let me ask you one final question before we take a break. Why do we need to use special flames with sorcery embedded in them instead of normal flames when making potions?”

“Because the special flames can work the effect of the ingredients?”

Then, without warning, Shu pressed his lips on your shoulder. And you were biting your lip to suppress that embarrassing noise in your throat threatening to come out as Shu worked wonders on your shoulder. By the time he lifted his head up, your shoulder was covered with little red spots. “Good girl, you did so well focusing in my class.” Shu gently pushed you backwards, till your back was pressed against the tatami mat and Shu was above, pinning you down as his knees were stationed between your legs. Shu bumped his knee towards you, earning a small whimper from you.

As he looked down at you with a mischievous smile on a face and lust in his eyes, he spoke. “Now that class is over, how about we take a break…?”

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

Yayy here we go

Can you please write a goldenheart one-shot where Ballister breaks something which belongs to Ambrosius (the way he broke it damaged Bal's health too, like a cut or something) and is afraid that Ambrosius will get mad at him only to be surprised that all Ambrosius cares about is his safety?? It doesn't have to be angsty in particular, I'm all for it if you do make it angsty lol

Ayo!!!

Alright we're trying to work on drabbles again. Here you go, I hope you like it! (Movieverse)

-

Ballister leaned back against the headboard of the dorm bed, playing video games while his boyfriend studied for the upcoming Institute exam. Ballister, by this point, felt confident. He had been studying. Ambrosius, on the other hand, had not. So, he was taking the evening to relax and play video games on Ambrosius’s computer. It was way nicer than anything he could afford, he just used the one the Institute issued him for classwork.

Ambrosius yawned and rubbed his eyes. “I'm gonna take a coffee break. Want anything?”

Ballister hummed. “I'll just take hot chocolate, the exam is tomorrow, I'll need to get to sleep early.” He failed to hide the smirk at the look his boyfriend gave him, knowing he would be up all night making up for his prior laziness.

Ambrosius left the room, and Ballister reached for his water bottle off the bedside table. While drinking, he accidentally aspirated some of the water and choked, reacting too late to dropping the water bottle onto the laptop. The heavy bottle split the keyboard and water spilled into the mechanism, causing it to smoke and short-circuit.

In his frantic attempt to fix it, Ballister winced as the broken metal sliced his fingertips and lightly burned his hand. “No no no no, shit!”

Ambrosius ran into the room and Ballister wanted to sink into the floor with shame. He could feel tears welling into his eyes. Since he was small, he knew the value of things. Breaking toys at the orphanage was punished harshly, as there was hardly any money to go around to buy new ones. When he was even littler, his mom was never cruel to him, but her frustration when he ruined or broke things in the apartment where they already had so little was apparent. He saw what happened to people on the streets when they stole food. Loaves of bread were worth more than starving people, and an expensive laptop was worth far more than Ballister.

“Ambrosius, I broke it, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to, I choked on my water and dropped it, I– I'm so sorry–!” He broke down and his vision blurred. “I'll replace it somehow, I promise!”

He felt the laptop removed from his lap and soft hands examine his own. “Never mind that!” Ambrosius said, his voice urgent but soft. “Look at your poor hand, are you okay?”

Ballister sniffled. “What?”

“Bal, you’re all cut up! And the sparks got your fingers. Gloreth knows what those tech companies put in here, you got your tetanus shots, right?”

Ballister nodded softly. “I'm so, so, so sorry. I'll replace it. Or– or I'll fix it! I'll build you a new one!”

Ambrosius waved him off, as if it was nothing. “Don't even worry about that right now! Do you think they need stitches? Maybe I should take you to the med hall.”

“No, no, they're fine, I'll rinse them off and put on some bandages. Ambrosius, won't you listen to me? Didn't you see I broke your laptop?” He hiccupped. Ambrosius met his eyes, his own filled with worry. “Bal, honey, I don't care about that. It was an accident. Besides, this was just my gaming laptop, all my Institute documents are backed up, no harm was done except you being hurt.”

“No harm– your laptop is broken! That thing is worth thousands of dollars!”

“I hate to flex my wealth, Bal, but to my family, that laptop isn't expensive. And even if it was, I don't need it. What I need is for my boyfriend who I love more than anything in the world to be safe and happy.” He kissed Ballister on the nose.

Ballister was too stunned to respond, really. He couldn't imagine the privilege of just disregarding an object so expensive, but he got the impression that Ambrosius wouldn't care about the value either way. How could a few cut up fingers, on him, be worth more? He wasn't the Queen, he wasn't worth fussing over.

Ambrosius, as though he read his mind, nuzzled against his temple and stroked his hair. “You're something money could never buy. I liked my laptop, but I love you.”

Ballister eventually ended up making him a new laptop anyway, despite his insistence it wasn't necessary, but every time he looked at the little scars on his middle and ring fingers, he remembered the first day he'd ever felt truly valued.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓 or you know whatever you have lol

Hahaha okay how about 1k?

---

How is he supposed to just stop?

“That’s the hard part, right?” Bobby smiles sadly. “Rewiring your brain.”

“Are you telling me to go to therapy?” Buck asks.

“A check in never hurts,” Bobby shrugs. 

And maybe Buck would be more inclined to say he doesn’t need a whole course of CBT because he misses Eddie, but the recent Christmas events have left him without a leg to stand on. 

“Yeah, okay,” Buck sighs. “I’ll reach out to Dr. Copeland’s office.”

“Good. And you know, I’m here, Buck,” Bobby says. “You don’t have to just… Shut it down. That’s not you. I don’t like to see it.”

Buck smiles a little. “You like it when I talk your ear off all shift? Aww, Bobby.”

Bobby rolls his eyes. “I don’t mind it.”

Buck chuckles. “Understood.”

“And, for what it’s worth, you always have an invite to family Christmas here, okay?” Bobby says.

“Thank you, Bobby,” Buck says. “It does mean a lot.”

⬅️

Buck resolves to listen to Bobby. To work on himself and the parts of his brain that are stuck on the same scratchy record, playing over and over. He books a therapy session in the new year. He donwloads a mindfulness app. He’s never been able to make his brain shut up before, but might as well give it a try. Why the hell not?

He doesn’t reach out to Eddie too much. Maybe that’s terrible. It’s not Eddie’s fault Buck can’t get over him leaving. But he forgot to call him on Christmas, and then he felt bad, so… So he thought maybe a teeny tiny break would be good. Just to compose himself. Besides, it’s not like Eddie is doing too badly out there, right? Christopher said they were spending time together. Holiday breakfast? And he was getting high with his sister. He sounded okay. He… He’s fine without Buck. 

And it’s not like Eddie is reaching out to him, either. So if Buck takes a week or two to recalibrate? It’s fine.

He does talk to Chim and Maddie, though. He feels like he owes them - and Jee - that much. They’ve texted back and forth, of course. Maddie is worried about him. Which is valid. He did some worrisome things. 

They fly back on the 28th. Buck goes to their house on the 29th. He’s had a handful of days to process, and he’s honestly feeling a lot less like a zombie. Like a pathetic, mewling zombie. Like that zombie from the zombie romance movie that came out… Oh, probably when Chris was in diapers. Whoa. 

First thing’s first, he has to spend a requisite fifteen minutes letting Jee show him all her new toys. Very reasonable, he thinks. He would have budgeted an hour for the haul, but she speeds through it. Then, he sits down in the kitchen with Maddie and Chim, while Jee watches a movie in the nearby living room. 

“Thanks for letting me come and explain,” Buck says to them as Chim hands him a beer. 

“You don’t need to explain,” Maddie says. “They were super cruel, and I understand why you left.”

Buck nods. “Yeah, they kind of… Well, they suck, honestly. But… I think I was going through more than I admitted, and I should’ve known I wasn’t up for the psychological challenge.”

“We should have known, too,” Chimney says. “I know how much you miss Eddie.”

Buck nods. “Yeah…”

“And we should have just spent Christmas in L.A. here with you,” Maddie adds.

“Really, we just figured it was our last opportunity to travel to your folks’ without two kids,” Chim explains.”

“You don’t have to cater to me,” Buck says. “Seriously. You can spend Christmases wherever you want.”

“I know,” Maddie smiles a little sadly. “But we’d rather spend it with you. I mean that.”

Buck feels a sort of warmth settle over him. He knows that’s what Maddie sort of said to him before, but he hadn’t really heard it.

“Love you guys,” Buck says. 

“Love you, Evan,” Maddie says.

“Yeah, we love ya,” Chim shrugs. “What are you doing New Year’s Eve?”

“Ah, nothing,” Buck says. “Sleeping after the shift we both have tomorrow.”

Chim makes a buzzer noise with his mouth. “Wrong. You’re coming here, okay? Wilsons are coming too. Someone needs to entertain the children.”

Buck laughs. “Alright. That sounds fun.”

“Good,” Maddie beams. 

“What can I bring?” He asks.

“Just yourself,” Chim says. “We won’t make you cook this time, only because I’m serious about you being a jester for Jee if she gets cranky.”

“He’s not serious,” Maddie says.

“I’d be happy to be the party clown,” Buck says. “Thanks for the invite.”

⬅️

He sort of takes an insane deep dive into the mindfulness thing. Starts reading all sorts of articles and downloading podcast episodes and… And, well… If Eddie was here, he would make some joke about it being Buck’s college major or the week. 

But he’s not. 

Whatever.

All this to say, he spends the shift that ends the morning of New Year’s Eve consuming all that sort of content on his downtime. Between calls, during chores, etcetera. He’s enjoying it. Different tactics for being more present, and letting go of catastrophic thoughts, and all that sort of stuff. He’s not actually able to do it, at this point in time. His brain has the volume and playback speed turned all the way up. But eventually! Maybe. Who knows? 

All this to say, Buck has his airpods in, listening to someone talk about psylocibin and mindfulness - a fun sounding practice his job prevents him from enjoying - when he exits the elevator to his loft after the shift. He’s tired and more than ready to sleep, still a little frustrated from a drunk driving call they’d responded to in the middle of the night. The podcast is taking up his brain space, and the volume is substantial enough that he almost cannot hear the activity on his floor. Almost.

[5am-mist]

I need a Bella Ramsey being super stickyI need a Bella Ramsey being super with fem!reader (I don't know if you really say "sticky" since my first language is Spanish but what I mean is something like if reader is on the couch and Bella jumps to hug her and no want to release it) I hope you have understood me.thank you!!!😘😘

I Crave your touch

°pairing°> bella ramsey x reader

°summary°> bella is tired and all she wants it to hold and be held by you

°requested?°> yeah! :))

~°A/N°~

i think its the same as clingy i really hope so but anyway i hope this is what you wanted and i hope you enjoy reading! im not quite sure about how this one came out lol, also please don't be shy to send in requests i really appreciate them! enjoy! thank you for the request love you guyss <33

Bella had been working really hard recently with the release of the last of us they had been doing so many press events and interviews that it was clear they were exhausted. On top of that he was also upset that he couldn't spend as much time with you.

You understood though, it was her job and there wasn't much she could do about it but that didn't mean you didn't miss him. On this particular day Bella was beyond busy they had an interview at 7 am then a pannel at 1pm and lastly another interview at 4 pm. In the end it was worth it though because they had an off day tomorrow.

Bella only got home at 7 that night, you were sitting on the couch when they arrived. She took off her shoes and quickly made her way over to you (well as quick as their feet would take them in their exhausted state). As you went to look up at him, he floped on top of you which was more unexpected than it was painful. "tired?" you asked as they shifted into a slightly more comfortable postion, even though you already knew the answer.

Your were brushing your hands through their hair as they nodded to tired to even talk. All you did was let out a hum as you held him, the room then fell into a comfortable silence. It wasn't long before she fall asleep.

Bella missed you. They missed your smile, your laugh, your smile, your touch. You would be lying if you said you hadn't missed him too.

Moments like this were seldom but they were always welcomed. You fell asleep soon after, the thought of finally having Bella home and asleep in your arms putting your mind at ease.

Bella woke up later that night due to a bit of back pain, but when they saw you fast asleep they decided that for now they'd go back to sleep, you holding them and them holding you. He didn't plan on letting you go anytime soon.

You guys would simply have to worry about the back pain in the morning.

[bakery-anon]

Hello my loves, it was a very tiring day today. Good news though, my Halloween costume arrived and I look adorable. I know hold your applause. I have however started an obsession that will not be good for my wallet (go go boots my beloveds <3333). I hope you all had good days today, sorry I feel like these keep getting shorter and shorter lol.

If you didn’t have a good day I hope tomorrow goes better for you. I love all of you so much, you’re all so lovely. You deserve happiness and love. Make sure you take care of yourselves and remember to get enough rest. Don’t work yourself sick. Take breaks and take care of yourself. This is your reminder to drink water and have a snack if you need it. I love all of you.

You’re deserving of love and I’m proud of you. You made it through the day and that’s enough. You’re always enough so don’t sell yourself short just because you don’t think you did something extraordinary. You’re enough and worth everything in the world. I want to give all of you the stars.

You deserve happiness. Please find things that make you smile, life is too short to not find things that make you happy. I love all of you so so so much. Sorry I keep repeating that but I really want all of you to hear it. I love you. You’re deserving of love and happiness. Find things that make you happy so you can be happy. You deserve it.

Sorry my loves, I am very sleepy and tomorrow will be much of the same I’m sad to say. I love you sleep well. If you see this in the morning I hope your day goes well. Good morning and have a wonderful day. EST some breakfast and it won’t be the end of the world if you make a mistake.

Goodnight everyone, sweet dreams. Sleep well, I’ll see you all tomorrow if nothing else then to complain lol <3

-love bug <3 🍪

[michelleleewise]

Worthy

Pairing: Dark! Thor x female reader

Warnings: dark themes ahead, anxiety, stalking, yelling, implied drugging, kidnapping, power imbalance, manipulation, coercion, harassment, self esteem issues.

Summary: something tugs at the back of your mind as your life begins to spiral.....

A/n- Happy Thorsday!!! This is my contribution lol heed the warnings! Thanks for reading!! And I appreciate any and all comments/reblogs! You guys are amazing!!

Part three -- Part four-

The next few days pass in a blur as you follow your monotonous routine. Work...home...sleep....repeat. An uneasy feeling settles over you like a fog, the feeling something was escaping you looming as you would wake from your restless night to the feeling of hands on your skin making you shudder. Thor had text everyday asking if you needed his assistance at the store, insistent that he was more then happy to help, and each time you gave an excuse, the last being you didn't have time because of work.

Which is where you sat right now, typing on your computer at your desk, picking up a file from the endless stack that awaited you...the life of a claims adjuster. You thumbed through the file when you heard yelling at reception, looking up seeing none other then Shaun, storming towards your desk, anger all over his face. "Really y/n!? I didn't think you would stoop so low." Shaun yelled storming up to you. "What are you talking about?" You asked puzzled. "Oh I don't know, the blonde muscle bound idiot you sent to my work! You got me fired!" He yelled making you jump. "I...I didn't send anyone to your work." You explained looking around seeing the entire office watching.

"You know y/n, I may have considered taking you back before, but now..." he said looking you up and down, disgust replacing the anger "your not worth it." He sneered stepping back "have a nice life bitch." He snapped, turning and leaving as you stood staring at where he was. You didn't know how to process what just happened when a voice came from the back of the room "y/n, I need to speak to you a moment." You boss said walking back into her office. "Shit.." you muttered, pushing your chair in you took a deep breath walking towards the open door.

You walked in, closing the door "Ms. Maximoff, i am so sorry! I don't know what that was about, but I'll make sure it doesn't happen again." You said sitting across from her. "Iisten, we are running a business here, I can't have your sordid affairs storming into the office every other day." She said sternly. "I know, I totally understand. It won't happen again." You repeated, hoping she would take mercy on you. "Y/n, im afraid I'm going to have to suspend you." She said typing on her computer. "What? Why?" You asked watching her "you need to get your life in order, I'm giving you a week. I hope things are taken care of by then." She said looking at you. "Yes ma'am." You said standing up. You walked to the door grabbing the handle "good luck y/n, I hope you figure things out." She said as you nodded, heading back to your desk.

ooOOoo

You ran into the coffee shop, looking around seeing Maya waving at you from the corner. "Hey! How have you been?" She asked as you sat across from her. "Not good, I got suspended." You said slumping in the chair as she slid a cup to you. "Why? What happened?" She asked sipping her coffee. "Shaun happened." You said with a sigh. "He came to my work yelling and screaming." You said taking a sip of your coffee. "That guy....I swear." She said as your phone buzzed in your pocket making you jump, pulling it out you saw another text from Thor.

T- hello y/n, im afraid they have double booked me tomorrow, so I have to move out session to later. Meet me at the office at 6pm. And let me know when you have time to go to the grocer, like I mentioned I don't mind. Have a good day.

You turned it off, setting it down you rubbed your temples "who was that?" Maya asked watching you "my doctor...reminding me of my appointment." You sighed. "Hey, is it normal for a doctor to call you?" You asked looking up at her. "I don't know, mine never have." She said shrugging. "Well, mine does and honestly it's a bit unnerving." You said. "Well, maybe he just wants to check on you, make sure your ok." She said taking another sip of her coffee "yeah..maybe." you shrugged "it's just..." you trailed off, the feeling coming back like your forgetting something "just what?" She asked furrowing her eyebrows.

"Well, He's really insistent about things, like painfully so. And he's been texting me more and more about taking care of myself...making sure I'm eating right...sugar is bad for you y/n...are you sleeping enough." You rambled, remembering all the messages you had gotten. "Well, he seems like an attentive doctor, nothing wrong with that." She said smiling. "What does he look like? I'm curious." She smiled, leaning her elbows on the table. You picked your phone up searching for their website, scrolling down to the pictures of him and his brother, turning it to face her. "Wait.. which one is he?" She asked grabbing your phone "the blonde one." You said, Shaun's words echoing In your head.."no, he wouldn't.." you thought to yourself seeing Maya fan herself "ooo he's yummy! I'd let him step on me and thank him." She said making you laugh.

You snatched your phone back looking at the picture "it's just..my last session we were doing this like meditation thing." You said seeing her nod "and I fell asleep. When I woke up I was on the couch with a blanket over me." You continued "aww that's cute." She said leaning her chin onto her hands "yes well, anyway when I got home my bra straps were messed up and I had....a bruise." You whispered unsure why. "Y/n, if I'm being honest I think your trying to find reasons not to like the guy, and after what you've been through I understand. But he sounds like he genuinely cares." She said "but...what about the bruise?" You asked raising an eyebrow "look, we all know how clumsy you are, you could have done that at anytime." She said shrugging. "I suppose..." you trailed off staring into your cup.

"Listen, go home and get some rest. Go to your session with an open mind and you'll see, he just wants to help." Maya said smiling "ok, i guess your right." You said, drinking the last of your coffee "I'll see ya later." You said standing up "oh, and feel free to slip him my number." She winked as you turned around "I'll get right on that." You said over your shoulder as you opened the door, making your way to your car. You drove home, pulling into your parking lot you got out seeing a red and white mustang parked in the corner of the lot. You'd never seen it before a few days ago, now it's there every time you get home. "Must be a new tenant." You said, looking at the high gloss paint job and dark tinted windows, you had to admit it was a beautiful car. You made your way upstairs, locking the door behind you walking to the bedroom, laying down on the bed closing your eyes. "Keep an open mind y/n." You said to yourself, drifting off determined tomorrow would be a good day.

ooOOoo

You pulled up to Thor's office, seeing the majority of the lights off inside. Ignoring the knot in your stomach you got out, and headed inside "open mind." You muttered to yourself, going in seeing no one at the desk. Had they all gone home..you thought, slowly walking around the desk "hello?" You called out, getting no response you quietly made your way to Thor's office, a shiver running through you at the silence. You walked up to the door, lifting your hand to knock when you heard voices inside making you freeze. "I told you brother, I have it under control." You heard Thor's voice sound from inside "then when? You cannot keep up this charade much longer." You assumed was Loki "I told you...Tonight." Thor said when you heard shuffling "everything is prepared, do not worry yourself " Thor said sternly when you heard the handle on the door clink.

"Ah, y/n! Did I keep you waiting?" Thor asked opening the door. "N..no! I just got here and was about to knock" you smiled when Loki came up next to him "Well I must be going, have a good night." Loki said, smiling down at you as he walked past. "Come in, have a seat." Thor said waving you on. You sat on the edge of the couch, fidgeting with your shirt watching him walk over to a small table "coffee? I know I need some." He asked laughing "oh..sure." You said looking around. He walked over, handing you a cup before taking the seat across from you "so y/n, tell me about your week." He smiled taking a drink. You watched him nod as you told him about Shaun, about how his fit caused you to get suspended.

"So when do you return to work?" He asked crossing one leg over the other "In a week. My boss said I need to get my life together." You laughed hearing him hum. "You better drink that before it gets cold." He said pointing at the cup. Bringing it to your lips you winced at the bitter taste "mm..no sugar." You said hearing him laugh "it is bad for you" he smiled. "Now, what do you intend to do about your ex?" He asked eyeing you "well, he said I'm not worth it so I think he'll leave me alone." You huffed a small laugh "you are very much worth it." Thor snapped making you jump "you are smart, funny, beautiful.." he trailed off as your mind registered something.."beautiful" the world reverberated in your head.

"Y/n..where did you go?" You heard, a hand on your knee pulling you back to now "sorry, lost in thought." You sighed, taking a big gulp of coffee wanting to finish it as soon as possible but not be rude. "Well if you wish I could help you file a restraining order, do you think that would help?" He asked "a...a what...I'm sorry..." you said looking over at him, watching him set his cup down before sitting back taking his glasses off "I only wish to protect you y/n." He said, placing them in his pocket "what do you mean?" You asked, your mouth suddenly feeling dry making you take another drink "you are so stubborn." He sighed crossing his arms. "I..I don't know..." you trailed off. Your vision swimming as he leaned forward

"If you will not take care of yourself, then I shall." He said sternly. Seeing dark spots in your vision you felt the cup slip from your hand, landing on the floor with a thud. "T..thor...whats...." you tried, your mouth feeling like cotton as you tried to speak. "Just relax, everything will be fine." He smiled. You tried to get up, your head spinning brining you to your knees "p.please...what's ha...happening?" You asked, your eyelids suddenly getting heavy as you saw movement out of the corner of your eye, a grey blotch appearing in front of you when you felt something on your chin, tilting your head up. "I'm going to make sure nothing happens to you again muffin." His voice echoed through your mind as you felt your eyelids drop, darkness surrounding you as you tumbled onto the void.

@springdandelixn @mochie85 @chemtrails-club @slytherclaw1227 @irishhappiness @kats72 @prettysourabbie @siriusly--gay @friendlyneighbourhoodgothicpagan @haidim84

[kahlanmars]

BAD FEELING 14

I am so early it's getting annoying, you know, but I feel so happy when I write this! Also, I'm a GREAT Taylor Swift fan so if you think "Uhm, that's a funny coincidence" it's not lol.

Comment if you want me happyyyyy! I don't know if it's worth it to keep going, I don't know if people like it or not!

MASTERLIST

gif not mine

14. One kiss, one page

The first days in District Thirteen are far from perfect. The suit they gave you is the most horrendous piece of clothing they could ever choose, and make up is forbidden. It is like they want to erase all the pretty things from the world.

You asked to be placed in Haymitch’s room, but they told you it wasn’t possible if you weren’t married. 

You are in quarantine, which means no mom, no Effie and no Katniss, you are all in a room with a lot of beds and parasols and grey curtains. They love grey, from what you’ve seen. Perla and Lora are still asleep, they are worse injured than you, and Finnick is working with something technological speaking with someone, but you can’t sleep.

The bright side is that for a night you still have your man. Tomorrow he is sent to rehab, a violent and deeply wrong kind of rehab you can’t quite put a finger on. Are they trying to make him feel worse? Because he is a spectacular asset in the revolution, but even a genius can’t think straight with tremors and headaches. 

«Can I tell you something without sounding ungrateful? Because I am. I am deeply grateful that you saved me.» You say, while Haymitch is in your bed. His hands are already shaking from the addiction, but you like to think your caresses can make the situation a little better. He hums in pleasure in response so maybe you are right.

«Go on.» 

«I don’t like this place.» You whisper. «All these rules are weird. I am not saying I would go back to the Capitol, but…»

He shuts you up with a kiss. «You made your point.» And he made his. You couldn’t speak freely, not yet. From the Capitol to District 13 you are still in the game, just with another character.

«Maybe I will like it better after quarantine.» You humour him. «I really hope I’ll be able to visit you.»

«Perhaps you shouldn’t. They explained what will happen, and they mentioned rage, hallucinations, there is a reason why I’m in isolation.» You’ve seen him in bad places before, but hallucinations… that scares you a little, you have to admit it. 

«I can handle it.» You murmur looking at his blue eyes. 

«You don’t have to.» 

«Yes I need to.» You shake your head. «You are not my mentor anymore.» 

«I know but-»

«No. You are not my mentor anymore, or my employer for what it matters. You don’t need to protect me from the world, what have I told you before? I am an adult just like you. I took care of you before, I cleaned your mess and stayed with you. I’m strong, Haymitch. And I like you. And if we want to continue what we have, and of course you want to because I’m flawless and stunning, we have to take care of each other. Fifty fifty.» 

He is silent. You didn’t want to give him a lecture, but at the same time he has to understand that he is not your boss. The power dynamics in your relationship are fucked up, but you are not a damsell in distress.

But maybe you overstepped. «If, if you want to keep going with it, of course.» You add, and now your eyes are on the floor.

«I wouldn’t have begun something with you if I didn’t know about the revolution.» He whispers.

«Funny, I thought I was going to die in a week.»

«I knew you weren’t. I mean, there was a chance, but not a high one.» He lifts up your chin, forcing you to watch him in the eyes. «I’m not good with those things.» He confesses.

«I know. I just want to know if you want it. Because if you don’t want it’s okay, but if you would like to be with me, without any label of sort, just you and me… Well we know we work well together.» 

«I’m a mess.» He argues.

«Do you want it?» You insist.

«You are twenty four and I’m forty one.» He retorts.

«Do you want me?» 

«I’m not a relationship type.»

«I never asked for a relationship but if you don’t want me I deserve to know.»

He shuts the hell up for a moment, and you can’t help but think of the worst. «Are you tired of me?»

He takes your lips in a kiss so fierce and powerful that is almost violent, all of his strength is on your body, all of his weight on you. «Never.» He answers between kisses.

You smirk. «I have broken ribs, you savage.» 

«Oh fuck sorry, I didn’t think.» He tries to get up but you immediately take him and push him down to you. He didn’t think. Not “I didn’t think about it”, he didn’t think because he was so whipped by you.

«Nah-ah, mine.» You purr in his ear. «Is that a yes?»

He just nods. You get it’s hard for him, after his parent’s and girlfriend’s death. He was isolated from the whole world, he said it himself he didn’t want to get attached to you. You managed to keep him tied to you nonetheless. 

«I like you so much. You don't have to tell me anything but I want you to know.» Because he thinks he doesn't deserve this. And maybe, just maybe, if you keep repeating it he will believe you.

«You have to get some sleep, sweetheart.» He kisses your forehead. You giggle at this exposure of tenderness.

«I don't want to waste time. What if there's a cute doctor and you fall in love with her?» This time you joke, but he rolls his eyes.

«Given the fact that I have been living like an hermit since I was seventeen, I think you are pretty safe in that field.» You hope. You tend to be the jealous type, you were with Clark and it wasn’t a sensual situation, you don’t know how you could react to jealousy in a relationship. Even if yours is not a relationship.

«They will have their claws on you. You are handsome, you know?» You start peppering kisses on his neck. «All the girls want to be me.»

«You are delusional.» You aren’t. As much as Perla can joke about it and Finnick can says he is old, he is not even fifty, he has strong arms and blue eyes, and he is magnetic in everything he does. You feel a little safer just because he is in disguise as this drunk grumpy crazy man who doesn’t want to talk to anyone, but it’s a charade. And even when he was playing the part he used to go to every shop in District 12 to buy something, just to help the people who worked there with his victor’s money. During Christmas he sometimes gave candies to the kids, or he gave you the money to do so without his name on it. He has a great heart. You hope women don’t notice it too much. 

«Oh c'mon! Maybe this drunk character you've created is not that appealing, but you must know you are good looking.» Even Katniss said it, when he was younger he was a looker.

«I was. When I was sixteen. At your age I was already a wreck.»

«No you weren't! And you are not now.»

You stay silent for a moment, and you stroke his hair. 

You hate Snow for what he has done to him, and you can’t help but wonder why you are not a wreck. You should be, you killed two people. People who had a family, dreams, ambitions. You always thought you would have been traumatised for that, thinking they had mothers who cried for them, children maybe, as for the Capitol man. In reality it didn’t happen. You can sleep at night. The Capitol man was a rapist and he deserved it, and you repeatedly asked Clark to be in an alliance with you, you begged him, and he was actively trying to kill you from the start.

Are you just evil? You know Haymitch is not, and he tries so hard to be. Maybe you try so hard to be good because you are evil.

«How was she?» You suddenly ask. 

«Who?» He frowns.

«Marjorie.»

You are sure he will stand up and go away, and you see in his eyes he is about to do this but he squeezes your hand.

«We were very young. She was the baker's daughter, like Peeta. She was beautiful. All the boys wanted her, you know.» He indulges himself to be a little proud of his younger self, who succeeded in conquering the most beautiful girl in the district. You ignore the sting of jealousy, because it’s nonsense. She is dead.

«Did you love her?» 

«I was sixteen. Sneaking in the meadows to have sex is not exactly love.»

«It is at sixteen.» You press a kiss on his cheek. «I'm not going to say it.» You didn't deserve this, you were a kid in a game stronger than you. And she didn't deserve it either, barely in a young love. It is not your fault. Not everyone you love will die. It is not a curse. You are not the problem.

«Thanks.»

He takes your face in his hands and he gives you a long deep kiss. 

«You survived.» You can read his mind: you managed to survive despite him, it is a miracle, he should probably leave you alone because a miracle doesn’t happen twice. 

«I'm pretty hard to kill. Thanks for the water.» You want to keep the conversation on a lighter note. He is done talking about his late girlfriend, it’s a great gift he even agreed to this at all. 

«No problem, gorgeous.» He pats your leg. Oh if you weren’t in a room full of people you would have know how to spend the last night with your man. 

«Would you read for me?» You suggest, «Since we are not sleeping. I want to read all the books you have, I've always been envious of your library.»

He laughs. «I clearly remember you stealing my books while you were cleaning.»

«What can I say? Now I've read all the books beside your bed. We know each other better.»

He nods, amused by your ability to speak your way out of any situation. «Little thief. Good thing you are so beautiful.» He is in a playful mode now, so he leans down for a peck.

«Shhh, read the book. Pleeeease.» You blush a little, but two can play at this game. 

He takes a book from his bed and goes back to you. “Tales of Panem”, you didn’t read it. He is right, you borrowed several of his books. He had Capitol books, and the little school library in the district has four or five books. You had to.

«One kiss, one page?» He suggests, but your hands are already on his chest.

«One kiss, one line.» You debate.

«We will never finish the first chapter.» He laughs, but he kisses you anyway. You won.

«We have all night. Are you complaining?» You pat his arm, and he bites your neck. You should be more aware of marks now that you’ll live with your mother again.

«Never.»

The separation is not messy because he is not here when you wake up. There’s a note instead.

See you later, gorgeous. Take care of yourself, and visit when I’ll be better. Not before. Trust me, I’ll miss you.

H

Of course, he avoids the big goodbye. Maybe it’s better this way, you would have said something bad about the District.

«Can I get up?» You ask your nurse when she comes, and she caresses your cheek. You want to say to her you are not a kid, but it’s actually cute. 

«You’ll take medication. Your body will be in shape in two or three days, ok?» 

«Three days?» You whisper in disbelief. In Twelve everything was a big deal, you had a tiny hospital but it wasn’t so good and nurses here and there, like Katniss’s mother, who did what they had to do. Holly took care of pregnancies, for example. You didn’t want to be sick in Twelve.

«A lot of Capitol doctors are rebels, so now we have their medicine.» She explains. You nod, thinking how the hell doctors could know about the revolution.

There are a lot of things you have to catch up on. 

«Thank you for saving me.» You add, and you know she didn’t do anything but it’s her home, and as much as you don’t like they still saved you. «I’m Daisy.»

«My name is Inez.» She greets you. There is something weird in her tone, though. Something like an accent. Yours.

«You… you have my accent?» You are surprised you see that, but after two weeks in the Capitol and one in the Games you are not used to your accent anymore.

«I used to live in District 12 when I was a kid.» She explains, a sweet smile on her face. She looks like your mother’s age, maybe they know each other.

«What happened then?»

«I became an orphan, I was in the system, I was in danger and… it was another time, another life.» She strokes your hair. «I’ve seen you in the Games.» She murmurs while she takes care of your medication. If she wants to change the subject you are fine with it. «How you saved the girl from Eleven and the girl from Four.»

«I also killed the boy from my district.» You have to add. She was in an orphanage? That’s the life Holly spared you. 

«Wasn’t he going to kill you first?» She finishes it. «Do you really want to become a teacher?»

You are not sure anymore, if you have to be honest. You like kids and the prospect felt good in Twelve, but now you found out new labels of yourself. You like clothes, you like creating outfits, but in District Twelve it’s not really useful. 

«I think so, yeah. I mean a week ago I thought I was going to be dead so I didn’t think much about my career, but since I’m not, yeah.»

«We have a lot of District 12 kids and we are actually looking for a substitute teacher. Would you be interested in that?» Well, it’s a way to settle down for the moment. You are not a tribute anymore, you obviously are not a maid anymore, you might as well be what you wanted to be for twelve years.

«Yeah, I would like that.» 

She seems satisfied with the answer.

«So I’m sorry if I overstepped but… it is real?» Oh, the question. Everybody has The Question. Was it real? Was it for the cameras? Are you in love with a victor who won when you weren’t even born yet?

«Very real.» You confirm. She looks a little worried. That’s the prelude for your mother’s reaction.

«Isn’t he a little old for you? You are, what, twenty?» 

«Twenty four. And no, he is not a little old for me.» You sound cranky now and you get that it’s not good manners, but that’s not that nurse’s business.

She gets it, luckily. «He seems like a good man.»

«He is the best.»

She ties your hair in a ponytail and she caresses your face. «Are you ready to get up?»

Turns out you weren’t so ready to get up, because you have to sit down after five minutes. You don’t have any resistance and you just want to rest. 

The bright side is that you get to see District 13 and it sucks. There’s no silver lining for that, it’s horrendous. You are grateful you don’t have to fight to the death, but the place scares you. Everything is grey, there are a lot, a lot of tunnels and all the rooms are the same. You will get lost, you already know that.

Inez is near to you until you go to a room that looks like a cafeteria, and then she is gone again and you are alone.

For a moment.

«Daisy!» You’d recognize that voice everywhere.

«Mommy!» She hugs you tight, a little too tight given that you have broken ribs. You shouldn’t call her “mommy”, you are an adult, and truth to be told you almost never call her mom, but you really thought you’d never see her again.

«You are safe. You came back to me.» She strokes your raven hair, like you are a baby, and she refuses to let you go until you have to sit. 

She looks twenty years older. You are not going to tell her, but she has a lot of wrinkles on her skin and white hair in her locks.

«I thought I’d lost you.» She repeats, and now she is crying.

«You didn’t.» You are vaguely aware you are making a scene, and you don’t want Perla or Lora to see you. They don’t have their mom here. You didn’t even see Chaff, you don’t know if he is here or captured in the Capitol. «I’m here.»

«When you were in the games, I- I didn’t want to watch it but I wanted to see you, and…»

«I think I nailed it, didn’t I?» You try to take a lighter note, but she seems upset.

«The poor Undersee boy.»

The poor Undersee boy wanted to end your daughter’s life, but before you could say something like that to her you are hugged again, and this time you scream too.

«Effie!» You are beyond happy to see her. She was your light in the Capitol and you can be her light here, in a place that you know better. 

«My darling girl!» She winks at you and you hug her again, you want to keep her close. 

She is so different. She doesn’t have her signature wig, but she covers her hair with a foulard. Grey, of course. And she doesn’t have any makeup on. «Your wig…»

«I am a political refugee, darling. Can’t ask for much.» That is deeply wrong. She helped you get out of the games alive, she saved you as much as Haymitch did, and now they repay them with a violent rehab and insufferable rules. 

«You are still beautiful, it’s not something they can take away from you.» You try to reassure her, and it’s the truth. Even in a grey jumpsuit that is made to look bad she shines. 

«Well, let’s say we are here and safe. And you are my roommate.» 

You almost jump before you remember you can’t because you are bandaged. Inez would kill you. «That is fabulous! If we have any ashes I think we can make black eyeshadow.» 

«You genius girl, I missed you so much.»

Holly is there, looking a little confused. Well, she doesn’t know how much you became close to Effie Trinket during your time in the penthouse, but she will understand. Effie is a good person, people in District 12 need to understand that.

«Mom, can I lie down now? I’m a little tired.» You still call her mom, because you missed her. You missed her hug, and you desperately needed her when President Snow decided you were a target. 

You called her in your sleep when you killed a man, and it’s not her fault she didn’t hear you. 

Still, Effie was there. 

«Of course honey, can you handle going into your room alone?» You don’t think so, without Capitol medication you wouldn’t have been able to walk at all, but you don’t want to look spoiled or weak so you are about to say yes, when Effie snorts in a way that is somehow still ladylike.

«Nonsense, we can ask someone to carry her.»

«If she says she can, why bother someone?» Your mother argues. 

«Because she’s turning blue.»

«Actually,» You interrupt them. «I don’t think I can do it alone.» You don’t want to portrait Holly like the villain, but it’s true you are turning blue from the effort. 

With a satisfied glance Effie manages to ask a boy from District 13 to accompany you, but before you get to be in your bed, your mother stops you.

«Can we talk later?» She is worried, and a little angry maybe. You don’t want to deal with it right now. You know what she wants to say. You killed an innocent guy, you fraternised with the enemy, Effie Trinket is vain and shallow, and you admitted on national television you had sex with a guy who shared my class in first grade.  

«Later.» You promise.

When she goes away it’s Effie who caresses your hair. Your room is the same as all the other rooms, narrow, poky and grey, two beds with white blank sheets and a little tiny toilet with a door - thank all the gods.

«I don’t feel safe here.» You whisper, and she just nods. «Can you stay with me?»

You and her are both stuck with you, you remember Haymitch’s words. Your loyalty is with them, and Katniss, and Peeta and your friends. And your mom, of course. You have to remember that.

She kisses you on the cheek and tugs your bed before sitting on your sheets.

«Always, darling girl.» 

[evita-shelby]

Love's a State of Mind

Chapter 6

Cw: angst, sex, feelings

Taglist: @thegreatdragonfruta

Yes i did use the smuff-mas one-shot to make up the last part of the chapter lol

Feliz Navidad y'all

Every day begins and ends the same for the next week.

He calls in the morning to check up on her, the moment he leaves his office ---doing the work he would have done in Sydney--- he comes to spend the rest of the day with her and leaves, very reluctantly, at the end of the day.

They talk, he tells her about his day and both fight the urge to be more than friends like madmen.

It all changes the night before her procedure. They watch her comfort telenovela on the sofa that’s more comfortable to lay on than sit on, and she leans on his shoulder leading to him wrapping his arm around her, before the episode even ends they’re spooning as of nothing had ever changed between them.

“I should go, you need all the sleep you can get for tomorrow.” He said gently prying her off him before they do something they’ll regret.

Eva would usually agree and see him to the door where they’d stand there both secretly wishing for a kiss goodbye like before.

“Could you stay with me. Just for tonight?” she finds herself hating how vulnerable she sounds. Even worse she’s turning to look at him as she speaks and feels pathetic because he can see exactly why she wants him to stay.

But she’s scared, and she wants him and there was nothing more comforting in the world than him holding her as he does now.

“Yeah, if you want me to.” Robert agrees and adjusts himself as Eva buried her face in his chest. He’s stripped off his button-down shirt and despite the slight discomfort of his buckle and trousers, being like this felt like heaven.

“We could find the best in their field if you want.” He suggested and she shook her head. Robert tucked her under his chin and stroked her hair understanding exactly what she was afraid of.

“This one’s the best in California. It’s a stupid worry, I know.” She murmured into his chest. “Impossible for them to fuck up something they do so often.”

“Said the same thing when I had knee surgery, I think.” Rob points out, reminding her of how nervous he’d been after reading up all he could on the procedure and several horror stories of people who didn’t recover from it. “We should sleep, we, you, sorry, have long day tomorrow.”

It had been a bad idea.

In a moment of vulnerability, Eva had asked him to stay with her and he had.

Robert had offered to stay in the guest room or sleep on the floor, but Eva had shaken her head and asked him to sleep with her.

There was too much history between them for this to work. He couldn’t forget her no matter how much he tried, and she couldn’t move on because their last night together resulted in the worst-case scenario.

Had anyone told him he’d be here holding her because they’d have to see a doctor for an embryo that didn’t form, Robert would’ve siced security on them.

But here he was holding his ex-girlfriend who used him to keep her company above the water because tomorrow they’ll pretend nothing ever happened and go their separate ways.

“I was wondering where my pajamas went.” The Fischer Morrow heir comments as tried his best to remember they were over and the sex they had last week was merely a fluke.

“I had intended to give them back, but then I remembered you still have some of my panties and I thought they were worth about the same, in sentimental value at least.” The dark-haired woman moved slightly as she got comfortable, and he pretends he’s fine when her ass brushed against his dick.

“Sorry.” She said before moving away to prevent it from happening again, but it would once Eva fell asleep.

“Don’t apologize, remember when I was high on painkillers after my surgery?” Rob would be lying if he didn’t miss all those times they’d cuddle and end up fucking because the accidental stimulation was enough to drive him fucking insane.

So many times where she’d rub against him ---on purpose as well as in her sleep--- and he’d be waking up rock hard and wanting nothing more than to fuck her good morning.

But they can’t do that, because after tomorrow it is over for good.

Or so they’ve been telling themselves this past week.

“Oh, how could I? You were like a very horny puppy most of the week.” She answered bemused. She’d been on edge all evening, terrified about tomorrow even if the procedure was rather simple and the doctor the best in California. “Slept on my tits because you said your pillows were lumpy.”

It was good for her to regain her usual good humor. Even if it drudge up memories that had the both of them wanting to regain what they lost.

He wanted to, but he had agreed to her terms because he didn’t want to push. She’d used him and she didn’t feel worthy of him, and Robert has disappointed his father enough to know he’s a fucking dumbass when comes to love.

His father would never forgive Eva for making a fool out of his son, but Robert was never on the same page as his dear old man.

“Please, those six weeks without sex was a nightmare for you too, Evie.” Robert pointed out and fought the urge to rut against it like a horny teenager.

“I missed you.” Evie admits and does something worse than grinding against him, she seeks out his hand and holds it like she used to do when she was troubled.

“I missed you too.” Robert admits as he interlaced his fingers with hers and held her tightly.

“I know I said I didn’t want us to give us another try, but ---” she stops herself fighting with the proud part of her that thinks she knows what’s best for the both of them.

“A do over would be nice. Once you’re recovered, if you need time to come around to it.” He didn’t let her change her mind and once again considered not going to Sydney this week.

He didn’t need to think about it, he’s had plenty of time this week. Robert had wanted his pound of flesh that day at her office, but then he ended up looking forward to seeing her each evening. Even as ‘friends’ he couldn’t imagine a better person to share his life with.

“No dream sharing this time.” Eva sets a new boundary; one he doesn’t pretend to agree with…for now.

“Agreed.”

This time he is the one rubbing his growing erection against her ass and this time they don’t stop doing it. Between her presence and knowing there’s still hope for them, Robert can’t seem to get himself under control.

Never been good at self-control, anyways.

“Doctor didn’t say anything about not having sex before the procedure, you know.” She supplies as a sigh escapes her lips.

“We don’t have to do it, Evie.” He protests half embarrassed at their predicament. The other half of him is letting his ex-girlfriend ---or just girlfriend since its inevitable that they’ll be getting back together by morning--- take his hand under her shirt and very obediently playing with her tits.

That time last week in the dining room had been a frantic fuck, of thinking that just one last time would be enough. Right now, it was knowing that desire won’t go away and why the should they deny themselves something they desperately needed.

“What I wanted you to fuck me, Robert?” such a crude question she said as he slid his free hand past the waistband of her sleeping shorts. “What if I told you the merely feeling you like this has me thinking about all those times we fucked until I couldn’t remember my own name?”

And she wasn’t lying, her pussy was wet and hot as his fingers toyed with it.

“Then I’d say your wish is my command.” His father was right in being disappointed with him, Robert could never live without Eva and this week had only proven it.

Robert’s hand leaves her chest and with ease he freed his aching cock from its confines as he entered her from behind with a groan.

No woman had been able to satisfy him like she did, and now he knows no one ever will.

He rocks against her, takes his time seeking ti make the night last as long as possible. Knowing Eva she may change her mind by the time the sun rose.

But for tonight, he is hers, she is his and nothing exists beyond the moment.

“Did you try to forget me like I did?” he asks thinking how she’d pretended not to care that his latest conquest had kept calling last week.

“No, didn’t want to.” She shook her head as he reminded her no other person could ever make feel like this.

They were made for each other, if such a thing existed. As if they had always been lifetimes ago.

He didn’t believe in soulmates, but she did.

“Then why fight it, why push me away, Evie?” he asks and clenched beautifully around his cock and Robert thanked his lucky stars there was no need for caution tonight.

“I don’t want to hurt you again.” The brunette answered as she lost herself to the pleasure.

As much as he wanted to make it last, it isn’t long before he takes her over the edge with him.

He hasn’t let go of her, not yet. “You won’t hurt me, I’m not as fragile as you think, sweetheart.”

[an-expected-journey-to-jeju]

Journal entry #15

Well, tomorrow's the day. We are finally moving locations. This past week, we've been slowly moving things out and into the new place, but tomorrow is when we move all our personal stuff. The official day. I only have one more sleep and then I'll be rid of the smelly mattresses.

I'm not gonna lie, it's been a very depressing couple of days. And by that I mean I've been super depressed. I think it's just a mixture of so many things: change, school, bad thoughts, etc... I haven't felt like this in a long time and I absolutely hate it. I haven't been eating really, even when we went out for bbq. I know that it's bad because I can't even pretend to be happy. It just takes so much energy. I can't even lie when people ask if I'm okay. I just say "no I'm not" and then carry on.

I've been packing like mad these days too. I can't believe I packed all my stuff! I'm still not excited about moving. I'm dreading it. But I've been trying to make a plan of what I'm going to do when I'm at the new place. It's been a struggle, but I'm slowly gonna pull myself out of all this and maybe start functioning normal again. It's also hard to keep a good schedule when I have ADHD. But I'm going to try methods that work for ADHD people. I'm gonna buy a bunch of stuff too for my new place. I was able to figure out how to connect my bank card to Coupang (Korean ver. of Amazon) but I haven't bought anything yet since it's too close to moving day. Hopefully it works! I definitely am buying a nespresso or smth like that. I wasn't able to use the espresso machine I got at the very beginning because I never got the chance to buy espresso beans and I also felt like I needed to buy specific espresso cleaning products which I had no idea where to get those. I think getting a nespresso will just be easier.

However, I do think I'll settle more into this new place. I think it was because I knew I wasn't going to be in the old place for very long that I didn't get to make it a home. But for the next one, I'll be staying there for a while so I feel comfortable actually settling in.

On a little side note, what's been a major pain is whenever I have to verify myself or sign up for things that include my registration number (to prove I live in Korea) or my phone number, I have to write my name out not just the first and last name, but middle name too. "DIFFIN HANNAH ELIZABETH". It's been so inconvenient and I'm definitely going to be changing my name if I do end up living here permanently.

Okay, back to business. One a very good note, my mom will be visiting me in April!! I still have no idea what my plans will be, but I'm just happy I get to see my mom again. I miss you mom 🥺 even tho I say it basically everyday LOL.

Not related to Jeju at all, but last night I watched "Memoir of a Snail" on prime video. I kept seeing it on tiktok and it looked pretty good. I highly recommend it. Definitely not for kids despite the claymation, but it was so worth watching. I almost wished I bought it instead of rented it.

Okay, that's all from me right now! Wish me luck with moving tomorrow <3

[imaginespazzi]

Oh hi bestie!!

Ha you were correct, I did send those :) seemed like a small pick me up was worth sharing at the time, especially w the playful bickering it had (if that were a love language it would be mine lol). Absolutely same wavelength 😅 ofc Im sure we were far from the only ones who recalled that gem courtesy of Katie. Welp its UConn/ND game day. Fingers crossed for a good showing by the Huskies and that they manage to keep HH in check. Such a shame Azzi is out for this one, but what a relief that the hit/fall resulted in nothing more than a minor sprain. Situation does make me a little appreciative for working in sports and being accustomed to rolling w such punches.. Latest GH chapter was a good read👏still painful but I think less so than 11 still ha. Tho full transparency, I happened to be unable to sleep from like 4-5:30 the AM after you posted so initially read at a totally odd hour (so thank for your timing putting it up late!). Hey any big thoughts from the W expansion draft? Did I miss/overlook you saying anything about the Valks picks? Im feeling like KT, Billings, Temi, and Burton could all stick. And wouldnt shock me if Martin ended up there as a depth piece. Cant speak much to the international selections personally. Sidenote Im meh on their jerseys, dont love & don't hate. Ok Im off to blast some Christmas music and get work done. Laters :)

-☕️

BESTIIIIEEEE HI <3

I very much loved the pick-me-ups; they made me smile and I really needed it after that.

Ah the beauty of hindsight...because it definitely was not a good showing.

I fear with time the relief from it being minor has just gone to feeling antsy for her to be back with every ticking day. Like I know I'mma be overreacting but I think I'mma be sick if she doesn't play tomorrow (and I think there's a very high chance she doesn't)

LMAO well I'm glad that worked out well for you time-wise!

I don't think I had very many big thoughts. It looks a lot like an expansion draft would with some good role players but clearly missing a strong core that they probably expect to build in the actual draft and free agency. I think Temi and KT were especially good picks and I definitely expect them to stick. The other two, I feel like could either stick or maybe be used for trade deals? I wasn't a big fan of their jerseys either I fear.

[igot-sarang-ggg]

Hey hey! Requesting a one shot of Yoshikage Kira x a fem reader who is a reporter in morioh trying to find a scoop about the large number of missing person cases?

Thank you for your request! I hope you like it.

Reporting From Morioh (Yoshikage Kira x Reader)

Masterlist

Small Summary: You're a well known reporter in Morioh taking a case on the rise of missing people

Small mentions: SPOILERS, f!reader, murder, hand fetish... (It's Yoshikage Kira what do you expect lol), Yandere, mention of stalking, a bit of strong language

"Hello, Morioh my name is Y/n, reporting to you live from the recent site disappearance. Last reported that a man and woman that live here in this apartment complex have not been seen in over a week. We've spoken to the landlord and other neighbors none of them knows where about it. But, one neighbor reported having seen another man enter the apartment before running off and not being seen again. Authorities have stated that a curfew has been placed until further notice." I looked at the camera, "Thank you Y/n for your scope in this serious matter. Be safe on your way back home..." The camera guy did a single letting me know it was over, and the red light over the camera turned off. "Good job Y/n. You wanna go for drinks today with us?" They packed away the equipment. "No thanks, maybe next time. I'll see you guys tomorrow." We said our goodbyes, they drove off.

I looked at the apartment building, this is the twentieth case of someone going missing since I became a reporter. How can someone just disappear without leaving a trace behind? Murders normally go back to the place where they've killed their victim, I'll just have to stay near the area and hopefully find something useful that's worth a case or will get more views. I waited until Ten PM and found nothing. I headed home for the night and went to sleep.

It was now morning, I don't work today which gives me time to look at the killer's next location and interview some people as well. I prepared my breakfast, and afterward I took a look at the map of Morioh. The last disappearance took place at those apartment complexes which means that whoever is causing this disappearance has moved to that area now. Taking a look at the map his next target is most of within that area or possibly where that Cafe is. I have to go to Cafe De Maigot to get a better look and maybe ask some questions while I'm there. I took out the sketch I drew of the description that was given to me by the neighbor that saw that man the other night. I looked at the drawing carefully capturing the features best I could. He looked like the type of man who could blend into the background and no one would suspect him.

I made my way to the cafe but kept feeling like someone was watching me, I push the feeling aside and continued walking, "Have you seen Yoshikage Kira?" I overheard two women talking. "I hope he's okay. I haven't seen him in a while... Not since his hand was missing." A missing hand? How did he lose it? "That image still haunts me." I need to talk to them, "Excuse me ladies can I have a word with you?"

"Oh, you're that reporter Y/n. What can we help with?"

"I wanted to know if any of know you may know about the disappearance that is taking place in Morioh or if someone you know has gone missing?" I took out a small recording device I have disguised as my pen. "Well, we do have a friend that we haven't seen in a while. Last we saw him he was in terrible condition and even had a missing hand. We haven't seen him since."

"Do you think you could describe his appearance and his name, please? I'd like to find him and ask him a few questions." The girls gave me information about his address, and what he wears, and even mentioned that today was also his day from work. "Thank you, ladies. I'll see you around." I waved goodbye and walked to the address they gave me but there were what seemed to be police and officers at his home. I guess the police might have been tipped off.

"Excuse me..." I called to one of the officers, "I'm a reporter, I just had a question. Does Yoshikage Kira live here?" I showed him the sketch, "He did. We haven't been able to find him. You should quit while you're ahead. He's a dangerous man." I gave the officer thanks and walked home.

Is Yoshikage Kira that dangerous? From what those ladies told the he was a man that didn't try hard to stick out, even as to turn down an invention from them to get lunch together. It does seem like he tends to fade in the background... Could he be...

I bumped into a man knocking over some of his papers, "I'm so sorry sir." I was so lost in thought I wasn't looking where I was going. I bent down picking up his papers, "It's quite alright..." He got down and started picking them up, "Hey aren't you that Y/n the new reporter lady?" I gave him the papers I picked up. "Yes, I am. Just taking a walk around town." He stood up placing the papers away. He took out his hand, I placed mine in his and he helped me up. "Well, you shouldn't be out here by yourself. A lot of people have been disappearing in this town." I removed my hand from his. "I know. Just needed to get some air is all."

"Would it be okay if I walk you home?" I looked at him, studying his features, He does slightly resemble the description that the neighbor had given me... but his hair doesn't quite match it or the height they mentioned. "If that's okay. I know we just meant and it's a bit weird for a strange to offer such a service... But we have to protect each other to avoid any more losses." He is right, "Sure but just up to the Morioh train station."

We began walking together, "I never got your name." I looked at the man briefly, "It's Kosaku Kawajiri. It's a pleasure to meet you Y/n. I'm a huge fan of your reports. It's an honor getting to meet you in person."

"Thank you watch our channel." I smiled slightly... something was off about this man.

"Twenty missing people..."

"I'm sorry..." What did he say? "A total of twenty people have gone missing since you became a reporter. A useless child, a hairdresser, some douchebag, and his girlfriend are the most recent cases... Am I wrong?" He looked at me, my heart began to race. He was the one that killed those people, it wasn't that they ran away from home, he must have killed them all. "Judging by your reaction, I'd amuse I was right." We continued walking; since there were people around I couldn't make a scene since I wasn't sure how others would react or what he would do. "What do you want?" He got closer to me. "Make a turn to your left in that alleyway over there." I did as he said and we entered the alley. "So... Are you gonna kill me like the other... Kosaku Kawajiri?"

"Not quite... I've grown quite fond of you and your hands." He turned to face me. "My hands?" I looked at them and then at him. He grabbed my hands placing them close to his face and kissing them, "Yes, they're like nothing I've ever seen. So soft, so beautiful, I've always seen your hands on TV and thought about how much I'd want them for my own."

I pulled my hands away, "You're sick. Let me leave and I won't tell anyone about this okay." He loosened his tie, "I can't let you go since you know the true nature and identity of I Yoshikage Kira..." So he's Yoshikage Kira, "I'll let you live but only if you drop the case report you're working on." I started feeling like there was something heavy curling by my should, I could see tire tracks on my cloth. "What did you do!?" I tried removing the coat I was wearing to get the thing off my arm but it wasn't budging. "That's Sheer Heart Attack that's on your shoulder it's a type of bomb that I've created with the help of my stand Killer queen."What is talking about, "I'll make the bomb explode in a matter of ten seconds if you do not agree to drop that report you've done on me? If you don't then you'll explode and I'll take your beautiful hands with me."

"I- I'll -I'll drop the case! Just please let me live! I'll do anything you want please!" The heaviness went away, "Exceinlt chose My dear Y/n. Now you said you'd do anything. Take me to your house. I want to see the report file you've collected."

We took the train and made it to my house, "So you're not married judging by the furniture and state of your home." My house was a bit messy I had articles and other things on the table and the couch, "I'll be getting rid of all of these things." In a blink of an eye, the papers had turned into dust. "My, sweet Y/n," He took my hands again and kissed them, "How I waited for the chance to meet you in person. A woman such as yourself deserves the best anyone has to offer." He placed a ring on my finger. "Never take this off... The killer queen touched the ring and placed a bomb. If you remove it or have anyone touch it you will die and so will the person that touched it."

He let go of my hands pushing me against the wall, "You're mine Y/n. You belong to Yoshikage Kira."

After a few days after my encounter with Yoshikage Kira it was reported that a man had died via an ambulance crushing his scole. It was later revealed to be Yoshikage Kira himself that dies in that way.

"Excuse me?" I talked up to a group of high school students, "I'm a reporter for the Morioh new channel and would like to ask you a few questions about Yoshikage Kira. I heard one of them had a close encounter with him."

"Sure we'll answer some questions." The pompadour said, "Wait Josuke you can't just give random people information about him Mr. Jotaro said we needed to stay quiet about it. Sorry miss but we can't talk about that." The shortest one spoke.

"I understand... I just had an encounter with him myself before he died. He placed a ring on my fingers and told me that Killer queen has made it into a bomb, I haven't taken the ring off since then. Is there any chance you can help me? Or know someone who can?"

"We need proof of your encounter before we can help." I took out my recording pen, "My apologies, I recorded my encounter with him on my pen... Is that enough proof?" They all looked at each other, "Come with us we'll find someone who can help you." Josuke spoke. "Thank you boys so much."

They took me to a man name Jotaro and we all listened to the recording. "Y/n, remove the ring, Josuke you knew what to do."

"Wait what!?" Are they going to kill me for being a witness? "We're not gonna kill you, I have a stand that can heal you before you explode. I know it doesn't make sense now but it will later."

I nodded and removed the ring, it felt like I exploded but nothing happened, "There it's done." I thanked them all, "Is it okay if we take those recordings you've got? I need to send them to the speed wagon foundation." Asked Jotaro. "Yeah, sure I copy at home here." I handed him the pen. I thanked them all and headed home...

I think this is the last time I take on a reporting case on missing people in Morioh

Request for One-shot are open!

[celestie0]

hiiii ellie 👋🏻

just wanna take a moment to let you know how much your writing means to me :') i'm kinda shy about doing this but fuck it, imma do it so here goes nothing lol.

for starters, i'm relatively new to this platform. i was pulled in of course by none other than satoru x reader smut... but what REALLY dialed me in was your stories.

it started with ihm, i love how you write gojo and i live for the bantering 🤭 the characters feel so real and fleshed out, you impressed me right off the bat.

so after that, i found kickoff and girl, i literally BINGE READ the entire series, staying up until like 3 am LOL. i remember laying on my couch, going through all the emotions. kicking my feet, laughing, feeling pain from the angst 😭 looked at the clock and was like oh shit, tomorrow is gonna suck but WORTH IT 🫠

and the thing is... while yes, the smut was amazing (guuuurl especially when i'm ovulating, you have fed us good 😩🤚🏻), it wasn't the main thing driving me to your stories. what really hooked me in was the way you write and how you are able to bring so much emotion to these characters. also, you are reeeeeally good at building up their relationships 😮‍💨

i've said this before but i just want to reiterate that you are the person that encouraged me to start writing on this platform. you seem like overall just a really freaking chill person too, i've always loved your vibes (also we're west coast twins i'm in socal 🫶🏻)

anyways, after starting to write i see how much hard work and effort goes into having this hobby. it really disheartens me to hear about the crap some people say, those people are really selfish and inconsiderate.

you have NO obligation to do this yet here you are, sharing your passion with us, and we are blessed for it 😇

anyways, this kind of became a side tangent... but i guess i just want you to know that the people that are sending rude shit to you and nici are on my list 😤

you are a queen, i hope you are enjoying your trip, and staying healthy. sending you lots of love 💛

hi my love omg i’m so sorry it took me so long to respond to this ask i wanted to have some proper time to respond but i read it when you sent it n it made my whole day seriously!! 🥺💕 you are so so kind

HAHAH i’m so glad you had fun binging kickoff!! that’s a lot to read in one sitting xD hope it didn’t ruin your sleep schedule TOO much skdhfksdjh

thank u sm for your kind words about my writing :”’’’) i spend a manic amt of time daydreaming about my stories n wondering ab my characters n i think i try to value character development n personalities the most so to hear that you are really feeling the emotion to my stories and characters means the world to me fr, and for you to appreciate it like aaaaaa i swear it’s what keeps me going n writing n i want to thank you for help keeping my passion alive <3 ALSO SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT ABOUT THE BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS THING BCI WORRY AB THAT A LOT SO ITS REALLY REASSURING HAHA

yaaaay fellow writer <3 i think it’s so cool how writers kinda domino off one another n we blossom into writers of our own it’s truly amazing feeling to know i inspired someone to write as well!! AND OMG SAME I AM ALSO IN SOCAL!! AAA

ugh yeah. i feel like you don’t really know how difficult it is to write until you start doing it yourself haha. i have gained SUCH large respect for my fave fanfic writers over the past year that i’ve been writing because i realize the dedication it takes, esp something done for free. i do wish some people were nicer, but alas that’s the reality i suppose. AW THANKS FOR LOOKING OUT FOR US <33

you are just SUCH an angel and i can feel the immaculate vibes from you through the screen. ty again sm for this message my love omg :’’) i really needed it. sending you SO much love as well <333

[purplesurveys]

1861

What was the last bad thing that happened to your phone? Not really bad per se, but getting a notice in the middle of filming something that I had no storage left. I'm a hoarder through and through, so even though I have files backed up and even have Google Drives to store my photos in, I like keeping most things on my phone and I'm very familiar with running out of space haha.

What are your plans for tomorrow? We have an all-day team building thing. The company even booked a hotel for us overnight, so I'm here in my room right now while taking this.

Have you ever been with someone while they were throwing up? I honestly can't remember if that's happened. I'm usually the one they accompany lol...

What kind of outfit are you wearing right now? Sweatshirt + sweatpants. I'm savoring this moment now because I'm in a hotel and the aircon is freezing and this will never ever happen anywhere else this time of the year lmao.

Would you go out in public right this moment? I am technically in public right now.

Who was the last person you talked to on instant messenger? My sister. I was asking for photos of the dogs earlier because I was missing them.

Have you ever done something illegal with a family member? What about with your best friend? Hmm. Probably.

Would you rather get high or get drunk? Drunk.

Would you rather get pregnant at too young an age or never be able to reproduce? I don't want kids, so.

What was the last thing you cooked? Can it be the last thing I reheated instead because I don't cook? Hahaha. Spaghetti from Jollibee.

What were you doing 45 min ago? Playing Rhythm Hive.

What will you be doing in 20 min? Changing into my sleeping clothes for tonight.

What did you do yesterday? Worked, played my game, and for like three straight hours I watched videos from this local vlogger that I really really like. I actually already started watching his stuff months ago, but then he disappeared from my algorithm never to come back. I suddenly remembered him yesterday so I looked him up and saw that he had been posting new videos the whole time, so last night was dedicated to catching up.

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? Nah. Never on weekdays as I do revenge bedtime procrastination.

Have you ever gotten alcohol poisoning? I would never drink that much in one go to be at risk of alcohol poisoning.

Are you in a good mood right now? I'm feeling pretty damn great lmao. I'm in a hotel, I'm taking surveys, I have a plate of macarons beside me, I don't need to worry about work tomorrow since we'll be team building-ing...it's all lovely.

What’s the hardest thing you have done all week? Get through a meeting with a difficult client. He's so negative, never once seemed grateful, gave very strong know-it-all vibes, even his own teammates were on edge around him...I never thought a meeting could be so soul-sucking until that happened, and I honestly wish the deal would fall through or that the event we are planning for them gets cancelled. Not worth it.

How did you feel when you woke up today? LOLfuckit's9:30andIoversleptwhydidIoversleep

Do you want to see someone at this very moment? No.

Think of the person who has hurt you the most in the past year, who is it? My mom.

Do you think two people can last forever? Sure.

Do you find it in your heart to forgive? No.

Last person you talked to on the phone for longer than 5 min? Idk, that doesn't really happen a lot. Maybe with my dad? it's always more a call between him and my mom, though. We kids just chime in from time to time to greet him and such.

Are you a morning person or night person? Night.

Did you go out or stay in last night? It was a Tuesday evening, you best believe I stayed in haha.

Who was the last person in your bedroom? My sister, if I remember right.

Are you afraid to tell your true feelings? Doesn't it always depend on the situation? I'd feel more hesitant if I'm not around people I'm super close with.

Can you honestly say you’re okay right now? Sure.

How has this past week been for you? Nothing out of the ordinary.

Do you currently have a hickey? No.

Did you ever lose a best friend? Yes, I have.

How many piercings do you have? Just two, but I never have anything on them anymore.

Do you bump into someone’s arm if you want to hold their hand? No...

Are you listening to music, if so, what song? Continued from last night. Nope.

Favorite part of summer? My birthday.

Where was your default picture taken? A museum in Makati.

What is your middle name? Eh...

What color underwear are you wearing? Beige.

What color shirt are you wearing? Orange.

Ever had a near death experience? Not really.

Have you ever kissed in the rain? I don't know. Probably?

What is your natural hair color? Black.

Could you handle living with the last boy you texted? No, I barely know them.

What are you excited for? Seeing my dad again, traveling to Vietnam, and getting the notification for Jin's first live back.

Have you been to the beach this year? Yes, twice – both related to work but it's fine haha. The first time was at a TVC shoot that needed to be set at the beach; The second was our team bonding day where Leah invited us all to her beachside house.

What makes you happy? My dogs, day offs, and BTS.

Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy? Sure. My birthday happened and my birthday is always one of my favorite days of the year; that's one.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking weed? Yes.

Held hands with anyone in the past month? I don't think I have. I've linked arms with my grandma since she needs help walking now, but we haven't held hands.

Would you put your life on the line for anyone? Yes.

When’s the last time you did something you knew was wrong? Three seconds ago, lol.

Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now? Doubt it.

Are there any bruises/cuts on your body? No but there is this very uncomfortable knot(?) on the right side of the back of my neck right now that is preventing me from bending my head to the right.

How late did you stay up last night? 2 AM, as usual.

Do you want someone to call you right now? Not really.

Are you a loud person? With the right people, I can be.

Are you a shy person? For the most part.

Does it take a lot to make you cry? No. I was crying uncontrollably the other night over BTS videos.

If your parents didn’t like the person you were dating, would you lose them? Depends on the person, I'm guessing. With my last ex, I imagine I would have fought for it. Hard to imagine with anyone else since I've never dated since then.

How’s your heart lately? Steadily working its way towards peace.

How was Saturday night? Pretty uneventful. I dyed my hair and stayed in.

Will you be in a relationship in 4 months? No.

Are you tan? Yes.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months? I did. Nearly 20 times that length.

Think a lot before you fall asleep? Sometimes.

[kinetic-elaboration]

June 22: Rainy Days

Ugh, this day. I’m pretty done with this week. It was short and I’m not prepared for the weekend but I’m also done with the whole thing. I think it’s partly the weather, which is a real drag and also an inconvenience, and partly just that I’ve seriously needed a vacation for like 2 months now, and partly just like poor self control and poor planning.

I left work early to avoid the thunderstorms that were supposed to happen, and I guess that was probably a good idea because it had just started raining when I got home, and it was pouring during the entire time I would have been commuting if I’d worked a full day at the library. But man, at what cost? I only worked at home for 90 minutes but it sucked. It sucked. I hate working from home. It is boring, it’s lonely, it’s unstimulating. And I brought my work laptop home because I thought that would make it easier, but what it has in speed and easily accessible work-relevant it loses in having the most obnoxious track pad and also being a pain in the ass to transport in my bag. I usually use it attached to a separate monitor, screen, keyboard, and mouse, and if I unplug it, it’s for fairly short periods of time. The track pad does not work for me for longer work sessions. It’s a different shape and placement than the one I’m used to, and it doesn’t have separate buttons to click on, so I’m always right clicking or moving to the wrong places, and the whole angle of it hurts my wrist. I don’t know. I just… I brought it home in part because it’s supposed to be thunderstorming tomorrow morning and then for most of the day and I thought I might remote work instead of going out yet again in a monsoon but… I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t know how I did this for like 2 years. No wonder I have long term mental problems now (self-diagnosed). Right now, I’m leaning toward taking an extra set of clothes, accepting I will get very wet and have a shitty time generally walking in to work, and then just change when I get there. Hopefully I don’t get hit by lightning lol rip me.

Truly a capitalist dystopian nightmare. I don’t hate my job--I like it maybe too much!--and I actually do have a lot to catch up on after taking half of last week off but MAN is literally anything I’m doing or going to do tomorrow worth this? Is it worth walking through a thunderstorm? Was Wednesday worth getting so soaked I took 3 hours getting dry, people driving in with zero visibility, driving through water, leaving their kids at home in houses without power? Is it? For what? For what that couldn’t wait, just literally, honestly asking.

Anyway, I went to sleep late last night, through every fault of my own, and I was so fucking exhausted post-work that I just went to sleep. And I slept a long time. And then I woke up confused and guilty and hungry. I feel better now that I have eaten but it’s also stupid o’clock again. I’m going to pack a backpack for tomorrow, force myself to make a sandwich for lunch, ignore the dishes, skip a shower, brush my teeth, and go to bed. I feel bad about the stuff I did not accomplish this week and worried about the weekend, because of all the stuff I have to/was planning to do. But mostly I just feel sort of like shit. I want to sleep.