#I need to relive Saturday all over again

[blaesus]

so much has happened to me which has contributed to my absence and inactivity but one thing is that I managed to tick something off my bucket list, to finally see Coldplay live. I still don’t think I’ve recovered and I don’t think I’m alive but… yeah that’s the highlight of my life.

[rafesbabygirlx]

Time Loop

Masterlist

Rafe x Reader

Summary: Rafe finds himself caught in a time loop, reliving the same disastrous 2 days when everything goes wrong. He must figure out how to break the cycle by changing his choices, leading to new insights into his relationship, motives, and a self-realization.

A/N: might be a little delusional from school but I rewatched Happy Death Day on Halloween and had this idea written down. Read this over 100x and I’m pretty sure I follow through. Enjoy :)

Word count: 3k

Warnings: angst, smut at the end

Rafe’s relationship with you was a storm of highs and lows. When other couples argued over trivial things—what to eat, misplaced items, or being late—your conflicts with Rafe were on a different level. They revolved around coke, cheating, and his relentless need to please his father.

Rafe’s habit of disappearing for “errands” tied to his dad’s business, his unapologetic flirting at parties, and the lines of cocaine that constantly blurred his reality had worn you down. Three years together, and it had only gotten worse. His betrayals were countless, yet somehow, you both stayed. Amid the chaos, there was a twisted comfort that kept you to each other.

Loop 1. It was a Saturday, and Rafe was at Kelce’s party. He hadn’t responded to your texts or calls all day. Sitting in his usual spot, hunched over the coffee table with white powder all over it, he looked oblivious to everything except the high. You arrived reluctantly, dragged by your friends who insisted you shouldn’t stay home alone, overthinking. You told yourself you’d stay hidden, avoid Rafe, and just get through the night.

You led your friends to the kitchen and grabbed drinks, steering them out to the pool where Rafe rarely went. Hours passed, with each of you taking turns fetching refills. When your turn came, the kitchen was crowded, so you slipped into the living room instead. And that’s when it happened. Your eyes locked with Rafe’s across the room. A blonde was straddling his lap, pressing kisses down his neck while he smirked at you, a cold and taunting expression. Something in you snapped. Without thinking, you threw the remains of your drink at them and stormed out before he could react.

The next morning, Rafe woke up in one of Kelce’s guest rooms, head pounding and eyes squinting against the sunlight. He reached for his phone, seeing a flurry of messages from you.

You 1:46 AM – FUCK YOU, RAFE CAMERON. You never deserved me.

You 1:55 AM – I hope you snort yourself to death, you asshole. Enjoy your coke while you can.

You 2:04 AM – YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN. I HATE YOU.

You 2:06 AM – WE’RE THROUGH. ROT IN HELL.

He groaned, a mix of regret and anger simmering beneath his hangover. He needed to talk to you. You always went to brunch at the club on Sundays, so he threw on some borrowed clothes and headed there.

There you were, sitting on the patio with your friends, your hair catching in the breeze, looking radiant and untouchable. It hit him how much he had messed up. He approached cautiously. “Hey, can we talk? Please?”

You didn’t acknowledge him, eyes focused ahead. “Please, Y/N. I need to talk to you.” You turned to him sharply. “We have NOTHING to talk about. You’re not my problem anymore, Rafe.” His jaw clenched, ego a bit strained, anger bubbling up. He rolled his eyes. “You think I wanted to be tied down with you? Always breathing down my neck? That’s probably why I cheated. I needed a break from you.” He didn’t mean it.

The lie hung between you like a knife. Your voice was icy. “You’re such a piece of shit,” you said, louder than you intended. “What was that, angel? Say it again,” he goaded. You stood up, refusing to back down despite his height. “You’re a piece of shit, Rafe Cameron. A slut, a drug addict, and a failure who will never be good enough for your father.”

The entire patio fell silent. The slap came without warning, sharp and loud, leaving him stunned. You threw down cash for the bill and walked out, your friends hurrying after you. Humiliated and seething, Rafe’s pride took over. As he left, he spotted your car. Without a second thought, he grabbed a rock and smashed the windshield, then slashed three of the tires. Adrenaline pumping, he sped off to Barry’s place and spent the rest of the day numbing himself with beer and more lines of coke. By nightfall, he was a mess, barely coherent, when he picked up his phone and typed:

Rafe 7:32 PM – baby pls I mis u dont do thiss to mee, ur al I want

Rafe 7:38 PM – bby

Rafe 7:39 PM – bbay

Rafe 7:40 PM – pls I ned you answr me

Finally, your response came, slicing through his fog.

You 7:50 PM – You should’ve thought of that before you were a complete shit boyfriend. Before you chose drugs over me, your dad over me, other girls over me.

You 7:53 PM – AND BEFORE YOU DESTROYED MY CAR, ASSHOLE.

Rafe’s rage erupted, and he hurled his phone, shattering it on the floor. “SHIT!” Barry jolted awake. “Damn, country club. What’s your problem?” He throws his crushed phone back at him. “Nothing,” Rafe muttered, tossing cash down before leaving. He considered going to your house but decided to sleep it off and try again tomorrow.

Loop 2. The next day, he woke up at noon, head heavy, stomach in knots. His phone, perfectly intact, rested on the nightstand. The date read Saturday. Confused, he checked his messages—none of what he remembered existed. Before he could think too hard, Ward barged in, ordering him to get dressed and join him on errands.

The day felt like a warped replay. He ignored your incoming texts, but told Kelce he’d be at the party, and numbly followed the script. That night, as he sat at Kelce’s, a girl climbed onto his lap, and he froze. Between the drugs, and the shock of realizing what’s happening he just sits there. She straddles his lap, grinding down onto him and kisses his neck. He looks up and sees you and gets instant deja vu. You appeared at the door, eyes wide with betrayal. Just like before, you stormed out after throwing your drink. He threw the girl off of him and tried to reach you but you slipped through the crowd before he could. He couldn’t believe what was happening. This is exactly what happened in his dream. At least he thinks it was a dream.

With the drugs and what just happened he feels like he’s loosing his mind. He heads upstairs and passes out on the guest bed. Not surprising when he wakes up to see you sent the same text messages again. He doesn’t know what to do. But he repeats the same process. Finding you at the club, trying to talk to you, you embarrassing and leaving him standing there. He walks out to the parking to see your car but he doesn’t touch it this time. Panic crept into his mind, a distressing realization that something was wrong. At Barry’s later, he tested his theory. “Hey, did I come here already?” he asked. Barry squinted. “Yesterday to pick up some for the party, you good man?” Rafe’s stomach dropped. The night had repeated itself. He left, pacing in his room later, mind racing. Glancing at his phone, he stomped it underfoot, shattering it again.

Loop 3. Rafe woke up with a migraine, instinctively grabbing his phone. The screen glowed brightly, not a single scratch, displaying the day: Saturday. His heart sank as a familiar wave of confusion washed over him. Everything was playing out exactly as it had before. The knock on the door was immediate, and soon enough, his father burst in, barking orders. His phone buzzed throughout the day incessantly with your texts, followed by Kelce’s message about the party and a request to score some coke. Rafe felt a nauseating sense of deja vu again, an unsettling lightheadedness clinging to him throughout the day.

At Barry’s place, Rafe pocketed a bag of coke, glancing nervously at the dealer, who was lounging with a cigarette. Barry was the only person who might not think he was entirely out of his mind. “I gotta ask you something,” Rafe blurted out. Barry raised an eyebrow, blowing out a cloud of smoke. “If it’s a favor, I’m not doing it.” Rafe sat down across from him, trying to still the tremor in his hands. “No, it’s not a favor. Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in a loop? Like, the same thing playing over and over again?”

Barry’s eyes narrowed. “What the hell are you talking about, Country Club?” Rafe rubbed his face, feeling his pulse race. “I’m serious. It’s like I’ve lived the same two days over and over for nearly a week now. I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s real. I can’t shake it.” Barry snorted, a half-laugh slipping through. “Man, lay off the coke for a while. It’s messing with your head.”

At Kelce’s party, Rafe felt the buzz of anticipation crackling around him. He sat in his usual spot, beer in hand, taking only a small line of coke, half-dreading and half-expecting what came next. Just as he suspected, the blonde girl approached, eyes glinting with interest. His heart raced; it was happening again. He let her sit beside him, testing the reality of the loop. Just then, he spotted you entering the room, and the recognition in your eyes shifted to anger. You threw your drink, and before you could walk away, Rafe caught your arm.

“Baby, please,” he said, voice trembling with urgency. “I need to talk to you. It’s important.” Your eyes flashed with hurt and rage. “Oh, now it’s important? Not when I called or texted you all day? Not when you’re so high you fuck anything that breaths and forget I exist? Now, suddenly, it’s important?”

Rafe pulled you into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him as the noise of the party dulled. “I know this sounds crazy, but I’m not high. I knew everything that was going to happen today. I had to make sure I wasn’t still dreaming. Please trust me. I love you.” Your expression hardened, eyes glistening. “You don’t love me, Rafe. You’re not making any sense. You sound insane. I’m leaving. We’re done. Officially, done.”

He reached for you, desperation turning his voice raw. But you pushed him away, tears streaming as you walked out. Rafe stood frozen, guilt and helplessness clawing at him. For the first time, he left the party nearly sober, trudging up to Kelce’s guest room. He threw himself face-first onto the bed,

The next morning, Rafe bolted upright and glanced at his phone. Sunday. Again. He quickly dressed and drove straight to the club, determination hardening his features. Before you could brush him off, he dropped to his knees by your table, ignoring the looks of your friends and the other members

“Please,” he begged. “I know I look crazy, but you have to hear me out.” You stood up and motioned for him to follow you out to the golf course, away from prying eyes.

“About what I said last night,” Rafe continued, breathless, “it wasn’t just rambling. The party—it’s happened three times. I’m living the same 2 days over and over. I get up, do stuff for my dad, get to the party, you find me, we break up, I come find you hear, there’s no resolve, I go to bed Sunday night and when I wake up it’s Saturday again. I don’t know why, but I’m losing you each time, and I can’t take it anymore.”

You crossed your arms, a wall of hurt and skepticism. “You expect me to believe that? After three years of lies and betrayal, you think I’ll buy into some theory about time loops all of the sudden? No, Rafe. I’ve had enough.”

He reached for your shoulders, his voice breaking while he smacks his cheek. “Look at me. I’m sober, I’m awake, and I’m telling you the truth. Something isn’t right, and I can’t let you walk away.”

Your eyes softened for a moment, but you shook your head, stepping back. “I can’t do this.” And with that, you turned and left him standing on the empty fairway, the early morning light casting long shadows. Rafe stood there, piecing together the pattern. The loop was about you. It was punishment, a reckoning for the way he’d taken you for granted. Each version of the day confirmed that losing you was the universe’s way of making him face the consequences. But if he had this chance, he’d use it. That night, he skipped Barry’s and stayed in his room, scribbling notes and plans, willing himself to break the cycle.

Loop 4. Rafe woke up early, it’s Saturday… again. His heart thumping as he texted you before you could reach out first. He asked if you’d meet him at the dock, the place where you’d had your first date. When you agreed, a rare glimmer of hope sparked inside him. When you arrived, he stood and hugged you tightly, pressing kisses to your forehead. You pulled back, a puzzled smile playing on your lips. “What’s all this for?”

“I just love you,” Rafe said, voice steadier than it had been in ‘days’. “Please, sit. I need to talk to you.” You settled on the blanket, accepting your favorite snack he handed you. “So, talk.” He took a breath, the weight of three years and three repeated days pressing down on him. “I know this will sound insane, but hear me out. I’ve been in this loop—like, I’ve woken up on the same Saturday, again and again. Every day, the same mistakes. Ignoring you, getting high, letting someone else come between us, and you leaving. When I go to bed Sunday night, k wake up and it’s Saturday again.It’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt, and I can’t lose you again. I need you to believe me. I don’t want anything to be the same. I want to change for you. Maybe it’s just a dream. But it feels so real, I can’t shake it. I can’t lose you.”

You studied his face, eyes searching for any hint of deceit. Then, cautiously, you placed your palm on his forehead, half-joking. “You’re right. You do sound crazy. But you’ve never promised to change before. That’s… something.” A sad, hopeful smile tugged at Rafe’s lips. “I mean it. I’ll do anything. I’ll go to rehab, give up the coke, anything. I just want you.”

Your lips curved into a small smile, and you leaned in, kissing him gently. “Come on,” you said, pulling him up by the hand. “My parents aren’t home. Let’s go somewhere we can really talk.”

Back at your house, you sat on your bed, facing him. “You know how much I love you, Rafe. But how much do you really love me? These past three years have been exhausting. I’m tired of giving and getting nothing in return.” “I love you more than anything. I’m sorry it took something this insane to make me realize how much I need you. I want to make up for all the time I wasted. I promise.”

You brushed your thumb along his cheek, turning his face to yours. “Then prove it. Promise me again.” You leaned in, and he whispered between kisses, “I… promise.” He lays you down on the bed, resting in between your legs. You grip his shirt trying to get it off. He sits up pulling it off and you mimic him pulling off yours. He reaches your lips again and you both fumble with each other’s pants. When you finally get each other’s clothes off, he lifts you up into the center of the bed. Kissing his way back down to lean in front of you. Leaving kisses on your inner thighs making his way to your clit. Just the simple kiss has your back arching. Rafe is never this gentle with you. It’s usually quick fucks or rough. Never soft or intimate so you make sure to take in everything. He takes his time. Making sure he tastes every bit of you. He keeps going and your back lifts off the more and more until a wave of relief washes over you. Rafe doesn’t stop until you’re back on the bed and your grip of his hair loosens a bit. He cleans up what’s left and makes his way back to you, leaving behind a trail of kisses.

He stops for a second just to stare at you. Wondering how he got so lucky to have someone as beautiful as you and how he just managed to fuck it up and take advantage of all that beauty and love. You stare back at him wondering if he’s serious, but you’re so in love with him that if he is you’ll be there every step of the way. You grab the back of his head and pull him back in to continue kissing him. Your other hand reaches in between you to line him up and you nudge him to push in by wrapping your legs around his waist. He slowly enters you, savoring each second. He moves instantly but the thrusts are different. They’re strategic and careful. You let out moans and he moves to the crook of your neck kissing it softly. He keeps these movements the entire time. You both climax at the same time and he goes to move but you hold him against you.

“You swear promise?” You ask while rubbing his back. “I promise, every bit of it. The both of you lay in bed for the rest of the day and when nightfall comes you fall asleep in each other’s arms. When Rafe is woken up by the light peaking in from the morning sunrise. He checks his phone instantly it’s Sunday. He panics a little but then he notices the weight on him. It’s you, lying on his chest. He lets out a sigh of relief realizing the cycle was broken, he’s back in reality. He pulls you in close giving you a kiss on the top of the head.

[ssahotchnerr]

Aaron coming back from long cases with a bouquet for you and little girl Hotchner 😭🖤 her bouquet may just be a few stems from yours but it means the world to you. He won’t hand you the bouquet the way he buys it either, he’ll trim the stems and put it in a vase!!!

unconditional

omg stop 😭 i can't get enough of girl dad!aaron i just can't cw; fluff <3

when you wake up, aaron's fast asleep next to you.

the prior night when you went to bed, you were alone - just as you have been for the past, almost two weeks. a case has kept your aaron away from you and time since then has gone achingly slow - almost painful.

he looks adorable, with his face smushed into his pillow, his thick hair disheveled and the comforter pulled all the up to his chin. although you have the desperate urge to throw your arms around him for being gone for far too long, you let him sleep. he needs it; it seems as if he never nearly gets enough, and from his heavy sleep-tainted breaths, you can only imagine how exhausted he must've felt before succumbing to. after pressing the gentlest of kisses to his forehead, you quietly slide out of bed.

you first peek your head into jack's room, checking on him. it's early, and as you figured, he's still off in dreamland. since it happens to be saturday - no school and no morning soccer practice this week - like his father, you let him sleep.

when you peer into your daughter's room next, she's awake, standing up in her crib and her hands holding onto the rail. she grins at the sight of you, letting out a small squeal in excitement. with a smile on your face, you shush her as you approach, her pitch high enough to wake up the boys if continued.

when you finally trail into the kitchen, with baby girl hoisted on your hip and set on getting her breakfast started, you fall short in your tracks, your heart immediately warming at what you find.

on the counter, there's a bouquet of the prettiest flowers you swear you've ever seen. they're even extremely similar to the flowers you held on your wedding day, walking down the aisle towards aaron. it's a memory you'll never forget, and wish you could relive over and over again - aaron smiling from ear to ear, teary-eyed, looking as handsome as ever in a tuxedo. luckily, that's what photos are for.

besides it, is a smaller, glass cup. it's filled with a few flowers from your bunch; the matching display is only a bit smaller, notably for your daughter. aaron even took the extra time to trim them before he went to bed, so they're not towering out, or is the weight of gravity pulling the petals down towards the surface of the counter.

and for jack, who wouldn't be as thrilled receiving flowers, there's a mini lego set - a small car to be put together.

the sweet gesture causes a swirl of emotions within you - aaron, as exhausted as he was and despite how late he returned, still took the time to show his unconditional love for you, and for both children.

you couldn't picture a more perfect start to the weekend, or a more perfect life.

[wileys-russo]

childhood sweethearts (11) II a.russo x reader

playlist one two three four five six seven eight nine ten

thought I’d be nice for once and give y’all something short and sweet

childhood sweethearts (11) II a.russo x reader

"thank you." you smiled appreciatively, taking your coffee and bag of food, making your way out of the cafe. you took a seat at a small table outside in the sun, dropping your sunglasses down onto your nose and basking in the warm glow of the early morning sun.

normally you'd take the opportunity of a saturday morning to sleep in, especially given the fact you'd hardly slept a wink last night. however this morning your body had been awake and coiled with anxiety far earlier than you intended.

so here you were hoping a coffee and a sweet treat might help to ease the grey cloud of nervous energy which hung over your body, and had done ever since your front door had slammed closed last night and the reality of your actions had sank in.

as much as you wanted to be angry at alessia for leaving you couldn't find it within yourself, knowing just as well that had the situation been reversed and you'd been at her home you'd have done the exact same thing.

the more you were left with your own thoughts to think it over, the more you began to realise you actually weren't angry with her in the slightest. if anything, you found yourself quite missing the feeling of kissing her and the way your head span.

you could still feel her hands as they roamed your body, your lips tingling at the thought of hers pressed against them soft and inviting.

the haunting memory of how it felt to have your skin touching hers and each inch of it feeling alight as if on fire, goosebumps peaking all over your body as your hair stood on end like bolts of electricity had ripped through you.

you missed her, you missed that feeling, and you wanted nothing more than to relive it over and over again. and that, that was much more terrifying a feeling than anything else at all.

finishing your coffee you pushed it aside, swallowing your mouthful of food and tapping on your phone, unlocking it and staring at the thread of messages, a million and one thoughts flitting through your head.

over and over again you typed a message to her, and then immediately deleted it with a shake of your head.

this routine continued until you'd finished your pastry, giving up with a sigh and slipping your phone into your pocket, standing up from the table and disposing of your rubbish, starting to slowly make your way back home.

you stopped by the market on the way deciding that you needed to keep yourself busy today in anyway you could and so without any real errands that needed to be done, and a small mountain of school work you knew you'd need to get to at some point you decided that a morning of baking might help to cease the unease which plagued your mind.

thanking the shopkeeper with a smile you slung the bag of groceries over your shoulder and slipped your sunglasses back down onto your nose, continuing your walk home and soaking in the warmth of a promisingly lovely weekend.

you hummed along to the tune which beat through you, one airpod tucked into your right ear as you rounded the final corner and headed home.

you found your eyes focused more on your feet than what lay ahead, a bad habit as you turned and suddenly looked up knowing you were now home, almost falling over at a sight you should have noticed a lot sooner.

"jesus christ!" you swore in shock, clutching at your chest in surprise as you almost tripped over alessia who was sat waiting on your front steps, pulling your airpod out and exhaling shakily.

"sorry! i thought you'd see me." alessia blushed bright red, scurrying to her feet and darting out of your way. "no sorry i was completely in my own world, that's not on you." you rambled out quickly, your own cheeks warm with embarrassment as you noticed a bouquet of flowers gripped tightly in the strikers hand.

"thought i'd wait around and hand deliver these in person this time." alessia forced an awkward smile at the memory of the last time she'd tried to apologise with flowers and been caught out trying to make a break for it before you'd seen her.

"do you want to...come in?" you offered, unsure really of how to progress as your head began to click into an overdrive of flurried nerves and uncertainty. "yeah okay." alessia nodded, seemingly just as flustered as you stepped around her and made a beeline up to your front door.

you dropped the keys and swore quietly to yourself, bending down to grab them and jamming them in the lock, twisting as the door unlocked with a sudden pop and you stumbled inside.

"seems we've swapped today." alessia joked, grabbing the back of your top to steady you as you forced a nervous laugh, unsure why your body was betraying you in such a way as she closed the door for you.

"do you want anything? tea? coffee? water?" you offered, dropping your bag carefully onto the counter and raising an eyebrow, trying desperately to calm yourself and even out your breathing. "i'm fine, thank you." alessia declined politely.

"for you." she countered quickly, again holding out the flowers as your face softened, now noticing of course she'd gotten your favourites. "they're beautiful less, thank you." you smiled, grabbing a vase from your cupboard.

busying yourself arranging them in the vase you cleared your throat, a thick silence occupying the room as clearly neither of you knew where to start.

"they aren't for anything either, they're well...they're just because." alessia broke first, cheeks flushed rosy pink as you spared her a glance over your shoulder, softening at the shy smile on her face at the confession.

"thank you." you repeated, your own neck warming up as again silence fell.

"about last night-" "we should talk about-"

you both stopped as the other started, sharing an awkward laugh at your shared intentions. "do you want to sit outside? shame to waste the sun." you offered gesturing to the small deck which lead out onto your backyard, alessia agreeing with a nod.

"i'm sorry i left." alessia started not long after the two of you had settled on the deck, a generous enough gap left between the two of you as you fiddled with the rings on your fingers. "you don't need to be, i'm not upset with you." you clarified, shooting her a small smile of reassurance before looking away again.

"it was, unexpected." you continued, referring more so to the kiss you both shared rather than her leaving, hoping she would pick up on it without you needing to clarify much more.

"yeah." alessia breathed out, picking up on what you were insinuating, exhaling shakily. an awkward silence fell after that as you both ticked over in your own heads what to say next, but without knowing what the other was feeling you were both too hesitant to lead the conversation.

"i wish i could read your mind sometimes." alessia admitted, biting down on her bottom lip as her knee bounced a little bit, body coiled with a nervous apprehension.

"one minute you're kissing me and then saying you just want to be friends, and i understood why and i tried so hard to respect that because i know you gave me a second chance i didn't deserve and i wanted you in my life selfishly in anyway i could." alessia continued as you looked away, ears burning at the truthful words which fell from her lips.

"getting us back on track well seems to be going well but then we're kissing again and i have no idea what you're thinking about it all." her voice became quieter at that, conversation left open clearly hopeful that you'd pick up where she left off.

"i wish you could read my mind too because even i don't know how to decipher it sometimes." a small smile curled into your features before you sighed heavily and alessia braced herself for the rejection she expected to be thrown her way, having tried her best all morning to prepare for what you'd have to say.

"there's a part of my brain that's terrified from what happened and what it means, and all those feelings of rejection and pain and hurt come flying back. when you were so ready to just leave me behind, i felt like i meant nothing to you and i think the dismissal of everything we went through together." you started, a frown creasing into your eyebrows as alessia's stomach lurched.

"but then i also don't think its a fair second chance if i dwell on that. i know you're not that same teenager anymore alessia and it would be wrong for me to hold that against you or over your head for the rest of your life." your voice softened and you chanced a glance toward her, seeing a frown not too dissimilar to yours etched into her features as she looked at the ground.

"i don't regret the kiss." you stated boldly, your voice seemingly a whole lot more confident than you really felt as the blondes head snapped up in surprise. her eyes catching with yours and suddenly your stomach clenched and all that confidence melted away, tips of your ears burning.

"neither do i."

"can you tell me how you're feeling please?" alessia continued, chewing nervously on her bottom lip. but she was taken off guard as you suddenly let out a groan, laying down on your back and covering your face with your arms.

"that bad huh?" the striker winced, that fear of rejection returning as she looked away. "no its not that at all its just..." you trailed off, words muffled against your arms, unsure how to even put it in words.

"just what?" "i feel like a hypocrite." "and why would you feel that way?"

"well i'm the one who kissed you the first time, and then i freaked out and made a firm point that it wouldn't happen again. that we couldn't be anything more than friends again because of how scared i was to go back to feeling how i had, and i don't ever want to be that hurt again." you started quietly, hands dropping to your sides as you stared up at the sky, feeling alessia's watchful gaze on you.

"but you only kissed me because i ambushed you with that big speech and i turned up to your house an absolute mess and you had every right to set those boundaries between us. it doesn't make you a hypocrite." alessia warned softly, reaching out to touch you but thinking better of it as her hand settled back in her lap.

"and last night...you can't take the full responsibility for that. it just, happened." her voice dropped an octave lower, wrenching her eyes away from you. "yeah." you agreed with a small sigh, still trying to unpack everything.

"okay i'm going to start speaking. but if you want me to stop, please stop me." alessia decided with a heavy exhale as you sat up again and nodded, waiting for her to continue. "okay this is sort of embarrassing but can we do the thing again, like when we were younger." she pleaded, cheeks flushed red with shame.

"you mean when we turn and-" "yeah." "okay."

hiding the small smile which wanted to curl into your features at her request you shuffled around so your backs faced one another, jolting ever so slightly as she pushed back a little, her body pressing lightly into yours.

you waited for her to speak, not wanting to rush her as clearly by your current positions this wasn't something she was finding easy to say, and you tried your best to swallow the nerves that caused to bubble up inside you.

"like i said, you had every right to set those boundaries with us given what happened and the fact we were starting over." alessia started, pausing for a moment to collect her thoughts. "but i don't think either of us can deny that clearly we aren't doing very well staying within them." she continued, your eyebrows furrowing into a slight frown.

"you can deny it if you want to but that kiss last night, it meant something, and i felt something. something that i tried to lock away when you said you wanted to be just friends because like i said, i'd rather have you in my life one way than not at all." alessia paused, again thinking out her next words as your heart started to beat a little faster.

"and i think you feel something too and thats probably terrifying given how things ended last time but i promise you i wouldn't ever dream of hurting you like that again. it scares me too just how much i care about you after so many years, how when i look at you everything that i thought was gone all just comes rushing back again and it makes my head spin. which is why i ran after the kiss last night, because i'd be lying if i said it didn't hurt to have to pretend i don't feel this way and that i don't want us to be something more." alessia continued confessing, biting her lip nervously.

"when i'm around you things make sense, we make sense. knowing how much i broke you the last time i had a chance to properly love you, it's the one thing in my life that I actually regret. seeing the pain in your eyes as you left, your inability to even look at me as you did. the not speaking to you or seeing you for so long, coming home and seeing you'd given back all my stuff, all the stuff i got for you, everything that symbolized us then symbolized that we were over for good, and of course i take responsibility for it but it hurt."

"you're the person i want to tell everything to, and the first one who comes to mind. when i got my first senior national team call up I just wanted to call you, text you, talk to you about it. but i couldn't, so i didn't. but now, now that feelings back and anytime something even tiny happens i find my mind wanders to what you'd think about it, what you'd say-" alessia paused again to take a breath as your heart hammered even harder in your chest.

"is this too much? god i feel like this is too much." the blonde stressed, doubt creeping in as you shook your head, forgetting momentarily that she couldn't see you. "no, keep going." you managed out once your senses kicked back in.

"okay, here we go.

"i like your eyes, i could look into them for hours and never get bored, they're comforting, they're beautiful and they're safe, just like you are. i like the little sun and moon studs in the corner of your ear, i like how the sound of your laughter can fill a whole room like a wind chime and how you stick your tongue out of that little gap in your teeth when you smile. i like the stupid little concentrating face you make when you think really hard about something, i like how you fall asleep during movie's, how you care more about other people than you do for yourself, you are a good person. a person better than i'll ever deserve another chance with, but you have no idea how badly i want to kiss you over and over again and for it to mean something." alessia's voice was barely a whisper as she finished, body riddled with anxiety as more time passed and you stayed dead silent.

"please say something."

"it is terrifying. when we kissed last night was different than that first time, all these emotions and feelings and memories came rushing back and suddenly i felt like that shy nervous lovesick teenager all over again. i was seventeen again laying in bed with you, both of us giggling like idiots and worrying about someone walking in on us." you started, trying desperately to make sense of how you were feeling despite how overwhelming it all was.

"i thought the kinds of feelings that came up when we kissed were long gone but its scary just how fast they all came racing back up to the surface. i think i really like you too lessi, no i know i do. but i think we still need to take things slowly, i don't want this to be something that crashes and burns out." you admitted, your stomach knotting over and over at the realization, your heartbeat now pounding in your ears.

there were no more words exchanged between you, and alessia jolted a little as she felt your hands inch backwards a little, seeking out her own. her every nerve tingled with a warm sense of calm as they found one another, your fingers intertwining with a gentle but now hopeful squeeze.

"okay, i can do slow. we can do slow."

with that said the two of you turned, again sitting side by side but much closer than before. "i know we just had like a big conversation but i really need to go or i'll be late for training and i don't particularly fancy running laps." alessia realised, giving you a guilty look.

"mmm i don't know, i'd kind of like to see you have to run some laps." you teased, a smile on your face as you tried to ignore the insane wave of emotions washing down on you, selfishly a little pleased she needed to leave which allowed you some time to sit and process them.

"could use them, might help you realise how long your legs are so you stop tripping over them." you continued, the blonde shoving you lightly before the two of you stood and headed back inside.

"so..." alessia trailed off, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet by the door. "so..." you mocked, crossing your arms as you hovered by your front door. "when can i see you again?" alessia asked, trying her best not to sound too eager, well aware you'd just had the conversation about testing the waters again.

"depends." you shrugged. "on?" alessia questioned, a little confused by your response. "you should get going, there's laps waiting for you." you reminded, opening your door and gesturing for her to go, the blonde stepping onto your front porch.

"depends on what?" the girl huffed impatiently, crossing her arms and staring you down. "whenever you ask me on a date. bye lessi!" you smiled, leaning up to softly kiss her cheek, closing the door quickly before she had a chance to respond.

~

you smiled at the good morning message on your phone, simple but sweet enough to have made your day just a little brighter as you texted alessia back.

she was quick to respond, making fun of you for the fact it wasn't technically morning anymore as you rolled your eyes, still still present on your lips as you sent her your own reply, wishing her good luck for the game today.

biting down on your lip your eyes scanned the contents of your fridge, willing some sort of inspiration to strike about what you could possibly cook yourself.

grabbing out some eggs you settled for those and a couple pieces of toast, your motivation low as you glanced over to the untouched pile of marking on your table.

you'd just finished cooking and hadn't even been able to sit down to eat before your phone rang. placing down your forkful of food you sighed and clicked answer.

"you better have a good reason for calling me on a sunday." you warned your brother. "wow its just so lovely to hear from you too." his voice dripped with sarcasm, and you winced at the loud music blaring behind him.

"what can i do for you dear harold?" you questioned, knowing him well enough that there was always an ulterior motive to his calls. "what are you doing today?" he asked, seemingly innocent as your eyes narrowed.

"why?" "always so suspicious! do you really not trust me?" "i could give you one hundred reasons why i don't trust you harry, need i remind of the santa incident? the how babies are made story? the sleeping bag accident?" "all just harmless childhood fun! lighten up. now are you busy today?" "not particularly, just have a small mountain of school work to mark through."

"perfect! we'll pick you up in an hour." harry cheered happily as your frown deepened. "sorry?" you questioned unsure if you'd heard him correctly. "alessia's game is at three and luca's sick so gio and i have a spare ticket, we'll be at yours in an hour. be ready!" and with that he'd hung up before you could even say another word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

twelve

[hgfictionwriter]

Maybe This Time - Part Two

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: As Jessie and you grow closer, you attend your first Thorn's game, get grilled by Janine, and Jessie relives old memories of you - both good and bad.

Warnings: None.

A/N: It's been a while, so if you need Part One here it is. Depending on the appetite for this fic, I'll either wrap it up next chapter or will explore a bit more.

"Does the offer for tickets still stand?"

Jessie's smile widened as she read your message.

"Of course. Which game do you want to see?"

When she locked her phone and tucked it into her jacket pocket she caught the curious look Janine was giving her. The blonde leaned against the lockers, hand resting on her hip.

"What's that about?" She asked with a single waggle of her eyebrows and a knowing look to the phone.

"Nothing," Jessie replied in a drawn out tone as she rolled her eyes and turned to walk to the carpark, knowing Janine would follow.

"I think you mean 'Y/N'," Janine said rather smugly as she fell in step. Jessie came to a stop and shot her friend a withering look.

"Not you, too," she complained, being immediately met with all-too-satisfied laughter from Janine.

Since Jessie texted Teagan about you a few weeks back, she'd received relentless razzing from her Bruins teammates, but now it seemed word had gotten out even more.

"You were crazy about her back in the day," Janine went on undeterred. "I remember you texting her - not as discretely as you thought, by the way - and moping over her at camps."

"Uh huh," Jessie said in a flat, unimpressed tone as they began walking again. "I did not mope," she muttered.

"Oh you moped," Janine refuted. "Big time." Before Jessie could argue further, Janine went on. "And now she lives here and so do you? And she’s single? Sounds like fate to me," she said with a cheeky smile.

"Stop it," Jessie scolded mildly. The rest of her complaint dissipated as she felt her phone buzz. She pulled it out and shot Janine a dark look at the "Oooo" noise she made upon seeing your name on the screen. Jessie turned her back to Janine and opened the message, ignoring how the girl was tall enough to see over her shoulder anyway.

"Awesome! Whatever's available, really. This weekend, next, whatever works. Thank you!"

Jessie sighed irritably as she tried to ignore how Janine was blatantly looking at the message.

"I can get you tickets for this weekend. Is two okay?"

"Why are you offering her two!" Janine protested. "You want her to bring a date or something?"

Jessie rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to make her attend alone. She can bring a friend." She averted her gaze briefly before lowering her tone. "A friend who's hopefully not a date." Immediately, she went on. “Not that I care. We’re totally different people now. There’s nothing to read into.”

“Right,” Janine deadpanned. She opened her mouth to speak, but a new message popped up and both girls’ attention was drawn to it.

"Brilliant! I'll be there. Thank you so much. I'm looking forward to it! It's been too long since I've been to one of your games."

Jessie smiled before tamping it out when she remembered Janine was studying her.

“Cool. I’ll send you the tickets.”

She was going to write something further, something witty, but not with Janine hanging over her shoulder and analyzing every word and move.

“Imagine if you get benched this Saturday,” Janine said followed with a laugh. Jessie glowered at her.

“It wouldn’t matter anyway,” Jessie said haughtily, recovering from the dirty look she shot her friend. “It’s not like she’s here to see me specifically.”

“Uh, I think that’s exactly what she’s doing. Remember? She doesn’t even like soccer?” Janine pointed out exaggeratedly before muttering. “Which would totally be a red flag, but your Bruins girls seemed to like her, so I guess she can’t be all bad.”

“Oh my gosh,” Jessie chided. “Her not caring about soccer is not a reflection of her character or worth as a human being. God, Janine.” She rolled her eyes and Janine made a face at her.

“You know what does though? How much emotional turmoil she put you through in university. I can - and do - judge her for that,” Janine retorted, now earnest.

Jessie shot her a look as they reached their cars. They stood to face one another and she sighed.

“It’s not her fault,” she said quietly. “I never told her how I feel. Felt.” Jessie glowered at herself this time, rolling her eyes. “She didn’t string me along or anything like that. Anytime I was moody - or mopey - it was my own doing. We were really close and I wanted more, but I was too shy. And I’d get jealous of girls who did have the nerve to ask her out and date her and it was my own fault.”

“This isn’t the 19th century, Jessie. She could’ve asked you out, too,” Janine countered and Jessie huffed in frustration, folding her arms tightly across her chest.

“Well. I guess. But. I don’t know.” Jessie kicked at the ground with her sneaker. “I think she maybe was now and then? Like - not explicitly I guess. But looking back I think she wanted me to reciprocate more and I didn’t. Maybe.”

Janine arched an eyebrow at her.

“What do you mean?”

Jessie’s frustration grew, but she took a breath.

“I don’t know.” She shrugged sharply and redhead out to open her car door. “It doesn’t matter. That’s all in the past anyway.”

She didn’t have to look at Janine to know the girl was processing how far to push this. Mercifully, she relented.

“‘Kay. Well, I've push my judgement aside. And truthfully, if you like her, that says a lot - she must be pretty great. I look forward to meeting her on Saturday. And I will be nice. I promise.”

“Thank you,” Jessie said, giving Janine a grateful look. “See you tomorrow.”

“Later.”

——————

Saturday’s game rolled around and Jessie was in the locker room getting ready when her phone buzzed. Normally, she didn’t check her phone or keep it nearby when she was preparing for a game, but, you know, what if you had a question or a problem with the tickets? She clearly had to be available.

When she checked her phone and saw your name, she smiled. For the first week or so anytime you appeared on her phone Jessie felt a spark of surprise, but that had now diminished. Not in a bad way, but you two had been texting quite regularly and it wasn’t a shock anymore to hear from you.

Ready to watch a ball be kicked around and chased for 90 minutes!

She actually laughed when she read the message, but it was cut short when she saw the selfie you sent with it. On one hand, you looked beautiful and she smirked at how you’d bought a Thorns scarf and hat. On the other hand, old feelings came up when she saw you and your…friend. Whoever that may be. It was a silly notion, but it felt too familiar.

Jessie sighed.

What - no Fleming jersey?

Lol. I guess we’ll see how today goes as to whether or not I can be swayed. I mean, that’s a commitment.

Jessie's attention was drawn away when Coach announced it was time for warm-ups.

"Off your phone," Janine said dramatically with a bobble of her head. "You're so focused you missed the update to the starting lineup."

"What?" Jessie asked, eyebrows furrowed and attention now fully on her friend.

"Yeah," Janine said pointedly as she crossed her arms. "You really didn’t hear? You're not starting anymore. You're on the bench; Coach is thinking of pretty much resting you for the game."

"What?" Jessie asked again with greater intensity, sitting forward. She watched as Janine's stern expression melted into laughter. Jessie's concern and confusion immediately shifted to irritation and she stared daggers at the blonde.

"Oh my God. I can't believe you fell for that," Janine teased. "Don't worry," she went on, rolling her eyes, "nothing's changed. But now I know how much you want to show off for Y/N."

"You're ridiculous," Jessie scolded as she stood. "I'd be upset any day about getting suddenly benched. What are you talking about." Janine still snickered.

"You gotta point her out to me when we get on the pitch."

"No," Jessie said firmly as she typed out one last text.

"Time for warm-ups. It usually takes us a long time to get out of here after games, but if you're around later on maybe we can grab a drink together."

Jessie fought off the impending blush and tucked her phone into her bag before jogging after the rest of the girls.

Out on the pitch she put in quite a valiant effort to not look in your general direction. It was all rather pointless, really, it's not like you were close enough to the pitch for her to see you clearly or vice versa, but still. She also readily ignored the way Janine tracked her stare for any indication of where you were sitting.

By the time the anthem rolled around, Jessie's resolution waned. She stood there with her shoulders back, hands clasped behind her as the music echoed through the stadium. Despite her intentions, her gaze wandered over to the section you were in. Her gaze lingered long enough for her to pick out the spot you were in. Again, you weren't super clearly defined that far out, but it was you.

She bit the inside of her cheek and fought off a blush. She refused. This was a new time, a new Jessie, and she'd be damned if she'd shrink and blush just because you were here. She'd played in front of sold out stadiums on the world stage - why should she care if you were watching? Still, her mind raced back to when you first came to one of her games.

She'd played with the Bruins for over a year by the time you became friends. Jessie had really been downplaying the whole soccer thing for the initial part of your friendship - she didn't want it to define her and in a way it felt like bragging. She actually liked that you didn't know her for soccer and when someone else in class once made a big deal about her, you looked momentarily perplexed, but unfazed and you both immediately went back to talking about nanomaterials.

In fact, Jessie never actually invited you to one of her games. The concept just seemed so…egotistical. That said, she remembered when the starting whistle was about to blow at one of the games and she made the mistake of scanning the crowd. Just the memory of the shock and nerves that washed over her upon seeing you in the stands nearly caused her body to recreate the same reaction in this moment. She took a deep breath.

Jessie was so stunned to see you at the game that the whistle blew and the game started while she remained rooted to her spot for several seconds, belatedly stumbling like an idiot after the ball long after it shot past her. She was off the entire game - shots going wide, poor challenges, and somehow ending up flat on the pitch more times than she could recall in recent years. It was a game from hell for her.

After the game, she was so embarrassed she scurried off the field, showered, got changed and rushed back to her dorm. Only later did she learn you'd looked for her after the game. Next time she saw you in class, she sunk in her chair, anxiously tapping her pencil on her notebook and determinedly stared forward. You greeted her like normal, but Jessie was fidgety and gave monosyllabic answers. You eventually congratulated her on the game. Despite Jessie's less than stellar performance, the team still won. Jessie guffawed and felt heat ascending on her face. She shuffled in her seat and claimed she didn't know you'd attended the game. Despite her aloofness, you were still very complimentary.

Thankfully, in future games Jessie was more like herself. But she'd be lying if she said she wasn't nervous every time you showed up. She just never wanted to make a fool of herself in front of you.

This time, however, as the first whistle blew, Jessie charged forward, immediately winning possession and sending a long through ball past an unsuspecting defensive line for Sophia to chase down. A strong start for Jessie, followed by well-timed tackles, solid passes, deft footwork and by the end of the game - an assist. She was subbed out in the final 15 minutes, but she felt great about her performance.

After the final whistle and a 2-0 result, the team walked the pitch greeting and thanking the fans. Jessie walked along with her teammates, clapping along with the fans and waving periodically when Janine ran up next to her, nudging her with her shoulder as she did so.

"Okay, so where is she? Oh, and congrats. You put on a bit of a clinic today, so I'm sure she'll be very impressed."

Jessie rolled her eyes and sighed in exasperation.

"You're not going to be able to see her anyway. And who knows, maybe she left already."

"Another point against her," Janine joked, ignoring the look Jessie shot her.

Jessie was about to prep a rebuttal when her eyes fell upon you. You were hanging back behind the fans who had clamoured down to the barriers and were reaching over with gear to sign. While her pulse quickened at the sight of you, an uncomfortable pit formed in her stomach when she saw you leaning in and whispering to the girl you were with. Jessie quickly shook out her head in a vain attempt to rid herself of this nagging - and totally unwarranted - jealousy.

"Wait - which one is she," Janine asked, urgency in her voice as she started pushing into Jessie to try and gauge where she was looking.

"Oh for goodness sake," Jessie muttered, though grateful for the distraction. She sighed, but described you to Janine and gestured vaguely. As she did so, you looked her way and you caught one another's eye. Jessie swallowed her discomfort and gave you a wave with a half smile, which you returned with a bright smile and an enthusiastic wave.

"Oh," Janine said flatly. "So that's why you like her."

"What?" Jessie asked, her voice suddenly high in question.

"Well, I don't play for the same team as you, but, she's a looker. I'll give you that." She gave a brief eye roll a moment later as she relented further. "And I guess she's gotta be smart, too."

"I don't like her, Janine," Jessie said through nearly gritted teeth. "Not that like anymore. She's just an old friend."

"Well, I'd like to talk with this 'old friend' of yours," Janine said, and before Jessie could react to the glint she caught in Janine's eye, the blonde was up on her tip toes and waving you down, insisting for you to come down to the pitch. You hesitated, but, standard Janine, she was very persistent. You looked to Jessie for direction and though Jessie wanted to just get swallowed up by the ground over this whole display, she channeled her energy and instead gave you an easy nod and waved you down as well.

It took every ounce of effort for Jessie to retain her composure as you descended the steps and found an opening in the crowd.

"So what's the verdict?" Jessie asked as you came up to one another at the barrier. Her eyes flicked momentarily back to your friend who stood behind you. "More or less entertaining than a Bruins game?"

You chuckled, a wide smile forming on your face and Jessie unknowingly smiled back.

"Well I don’t want to say anything negative about your Bruins days. I had fun - I know you don't believe me, but I did. That said, a game in front of like 25,000 fans is pretty spectacular. The energy in here was crazy." You gave a facetious roll of your eyes and tacked on with a smirk, "And I guess you played alright, too."

Jessie was about to riff off of your comment when Janine stepped forward and extended her hand.

"Hey, you must be Y/N. My name is Janine - nice to meet you," she said with a polite smile. You readily shook her hand.

"It's so nice to finally meet you. Jessie's always talked so highly of you."

"Ah," Janine said as she gave Jessie a lingering look before smiling back. "Jessie's always talked very highly of you, too."

You blushed slightly as you pulled a slight face, shifting your gaze to Jessie.

"That is much too generous of her," you said. "I would've expected her to talk more about how annoying I could be during study sessions."

"Nobody could be more annoying than Janine when I was trying to study," Jessie swiftly cut in. She ignored the affronted look the blonde shot her. Jessie looked back at you and quickly added, "Not that I thought you were annoying. You were one of the only people in my life that took studying seriously." Jessie took a breath and offered your companion a tight smile.

"You must be…"

"Oh!" You said as you turned on the spot. "Oh, I'm so sorry. This is my friend [y/friend's name]. She's actually been asking me to come to a Thorns game for a while, so - it finally worked out."

"Oh really?" Jessie asked, feeling annoyingly uneasy before remembering her manners. "Oh, and I'm Jessie. Nice to meet you."

"Very polite of you to introduce yourself even though you're famous," [y/friend] said with a laugh. "It's nice to meet you, too. I'm a fan of both of you and am stoked that you're playing for Portland these days. Imagine my surprise when y/n just casually drops that she got a personal invite from Jessie Fleming herself. I didn't believe her until she showed me a picture of you two from university."

Now Jessie did blush, brushing her hair back with her hand. Oh. A friend. And legitimately seemed like just a friend. She inwardly scolded herself for getting so worked up.

"Well, it sounds like we should all grab a drink or something together. Are you free tonight? I'd love to get to know you both better," Janine said with her most charming smile. You and Jessie shared a look.

"Uh, I mean, you mentioned a drink," you said as you gestured to Jessie. "So - I'm up for it if you are."

She'd really been hoping more for a drink one on one, but she supposed she'd have to adapt. She gave a casual shrug.

"Yeah, sounds good."

-----

"Another round?"

Conversation halted as the four of you looked to the server. You were the first to reply.

"Sure, I'll have another. Can I grab the pilsner this time?"

"I'll have another, too." Y/friend jumped in. "Same as before."

"Sure thing. Anyone else?"

Janine waved her off, but Jessie's eyes darted around the table as she debated what to do. A second round wasn't usually her go-to, and frankly, could be slightly dangerous territory when it came to her inhibitions. If you were anything like you were back in university, a second round wouldn't affect you much at all. Still, much like years before, Jessie felt the need to keep up.

"Sure, I'll have another."

"You got it. Be right back."

"So, Y/N, I think we must compare notes. Tell me what Jessie was like in university. I mean, I have my stories from camp and competition days, but I don't know UCLA Jessie," Janine said, leaning in conspiratorially.

"Oh come on, you two," Jessie complained pre-emptively with a roll of her head.

"Hey, why are you calling me out?" You asked, tone rising. "I didn't even agree." You dropped the offended act and leaned in mimicking Janine. "But of course we have to compare notes."

Janine clapped her hands in victory and sat back expectantly.

"You know what," you started as you reached into your pocket to retrieve your phone and started going through it, "after we ran into each other. I went through some old photos and look what I found."

"Oh sweet God," Jessie muttered as she sunk low in her seat and brought a hand up to cover her face.

You turned your phone around and held it out for Jessie first, though Janine immediately leaned right in. The second she saw the photo, Jessie's face began to burn with embarrassment.

"Delete." She shook her head, averting her eyes from the photo. "Get rid of it."

"Come on!" You protested as you drew the phone back. You looked down at the photo of Jessie kneeling in her UCLA blues with an upside down visor on her head looking comically serious.

"Gangster." Janine said with a laugh.

"Well, I thought you looked cute," you said primly. You were flipping to another photo and missed the look Jessie and Janine shared. "'Kay, how about this?" You held out your phone again, this time showing Jessie sporting a water gun at a campus party.

"Again. Delete!" Jessie said, hiding her face further, but now had to laugh.

"You were so sweet," you said. "You were taking that water fight very seriously, but you mercifully didn't shoot me. Which - thank you - cause I was getting rocked already." You gave her a smirk. "In fact, I think you even stopped a shot or two for me."

Jessie arched an eyebrow and gave a light shrug. "Maybe."

A moment later you started laughing, pulling a confused look out of the rest of the table. You waved apologetically. "Sorry - I just remembered. You blasted [y/ex] in the face so bad she was choking for like 5 minutes after. I guess that's not funny, but it kind of was."

Jessie blushed. "Oh yeah. I forgot about that. It just kind of happened - I felt bad after." She certainly didn't forget. And it certainly wasn't an accident. Though she did feel slightly bad.

"Oh, and I showed you this," you said to y/friend before turning the phone to Jessie and Janine again. "This is my favourite picture of us. Do you remember that day?"

Jessie took in the photo of the two of you sitting on the wall at the beach with your backs to the ocean at sunset. You were flush against one another, an arm around each other and your head was leaned against hers.

Jessie remembered this picture well. She'd looked at it many, too many, times. It had been one of her favourites too. Looking at it brought a wave of melancholy over her though. While she loved it, it brought her right back to when she'd stare at photos of you in the dark of her dorm or hotel room and think about the relationship she wished she had with you.

"Yeah, I remember. That was a good night," she said simply with a small smile.

"We were the last ones left around the bonfire that night," you recollected. "And you walked me back to my dorm - gosh, it had to be what, like 3 am by then."

"Yeah, I remember your girlfriend getting pissed with you about it, too," Jessie said without thinking.

Your smile faded slightly, though you held Jessie's gaze. You eventually gave a nod.

"Yeah, I remember that too." You scoffed lightly as you took a sip of your drink. "I can say this now - enough time has passed - my girlfriends always had an issue with you. Which should've been my immediate red flag for each of them. Because anyone who doesn't like you is problematic."

Janine leaned in without skipping a beat. "Okay, you can't just leave it at that. Tell me more. And yes - you're right - major red flags."

This time you were the one to blush. You fiddled with the glass a bit before shrugging, your eyes drifting to the TV in the corner of the establishment.

"I-I don't know," you stammered. "They were just insecure, I guess."

This made Jessie's ears perk up and she frowned deeply at you. Your face burned hotter as you felt the table's eyes on you.

"What?" You dismissed with a shrug and a light wave of your hand. "Is that so shocking? I mean, you and I were close. And we hung out a lot. And hello - co-captain," you shot her a momentarily teasing look, "of the soccer team, Dean's list, Olympic athlete, very charming, etc., the list goes on. Of course they were threatened."

Jessie finished a large swig of her drink, setting down the pint glass more heavily than intended on the table. Her face screwed up as she said, "That's the silliest thing I've ever heard."

Why would they have ever been jealous of her. They were the lucky ones. It was their bed you might climb into at night, their lips you would kiss and their hands you would hold.

"Jessie!" You laughed, leaning into the table again. "You are too humble for your own good. I told you. You had a lot of appeal."

"Well, not enough," Jessie muttered as she took another sip and raised her eyebrows, her gaze travelling over to Janine who was watching her tentatively. The blonde cleared her throat.

"So what I'm hearing is that UCLA Jessie wasn't all that different than national camp Jessie - just with marginally more debauchery," she interjected, diffusing any mounting tension.

It took you a moment, but you offered her a smile of agreement.

"Seems that way." A beat passed and you offered Jessie another smile. "Do you have any pictures from back then? You always had your camera out."

Your question broke Jessie out of her spiral. She wracked her brain momentarily for a response.

"Uh, no. I lost a lot of my old photos."

In reality, she deleted and threw out all of her pictures of you. All except one. It was that night at the beach, there was a moment of comfortable silence between you two and the last rays of sunlight were dipping below the horizon. You were looking out onto the sea, looking so peaceful and just so beautiful. That was her favourite photo of you.

Even when, one night in London, when she got home from a team outing and you had been on her mind all evening despite the fact that you hadn't texted her back in days; when she finally decided to put an end to this pointless and hopeless pining, she couldn't bring herself to delete that one photo.

Jessie ignored the flash of hurt that crossed your face.

"That's too bad," you said with a half smile. Jessie returned it and the mood at the table took a palpable dip. A few moments of quiet passed.

"Well, you two are in the same city again. You can take new ones together," y/friend offered brightly. You gave a light chuckle.

"I guess that depends on if you're too famous for me." You gave Jessie a smirk. Jessie was still in her head, until Janine nudged her under the table. She took a sip of her drink .

"Well, my schedule's pretty packed," Jessie said with a smirk of her own. The alcohol made it feel like she was on auto-pilot. She sat back and gave you a wink. "But I can make time for you."

You seemed caught off guard and gave a slightly awkward laugh though your cheeks blushed pink. You spoke somewhat wryly, "Well thank you."

Jessie cleared her throat and sat forward in her seat again, speaking earnestly this time. "No, seriously. Of course I'm not too famous to spend time with you. Now that's the silliest thing I've ever heard."

You propped an elbow on the table and rest your chin in your raised palm.

"Well, I look forward to making some new memories together."

Jessie held up her glass to you.

"Deal."

——————

A/N: Part Three is available here.

[wasawattpadkid]

Housewife

Part - 11

Summery: Billy and Stu have been planning these murders for quite some time. Everything is going to plan until you show up. What happens when they meet someone who is just as mentally deluded as they are?

Pairing: Poly! ghostface x fem!reader

Warnings for this series: murder, blood, smut (will be more in depth on smut chapters), power dynamics, a dash of sexism, knives, stalking, perverse behavior, cheating, homophobic slang

Part 1

Billy slammed his bedroom door after yet another fight with his dad. His father wasn't keen on his son skipping school and being a victim of a brutal attack wasn't a good enough excuse. He pulled out his phone dialing Stu's number. It rang and it rang which was unusual. No one answered. 'Maybe he wasn't home?' Billy wondered quickly realizing Stu had no place to go. He dialed again hearing the mind numbing ring. Finally Stu picked up.

"Hello?" A woman spoke. "Uhm is Stu there?" The voice on the end belonged to his mother. A person Billy only met twice. "No, Stu went... Oh shit honey where did Stu go? What's his little girlfriend's name?" Billy listened closely trying to hear all of the conversation. He could barley make out a man's voice in the back which he assumed was Stu's father. "No not that one she died remember." Billy raised his eyebrows in surprise. Even he wasn't that insensitive and he murdered her. "Y/n, Stu is staying at Y/n's." Staying?

Billy laughed nervously. "No I don't think I heard you right ma'am. Did you say "staying?"" She rubbed her forehead wanting to hang up on the strange child. "Yes he moved out while we do renovations. Goodbye now." The line died leaving Billy to piece all this together. It was almost laughable. He managed to lose the only two people he cared about on this horrible planet and both of them were probably fucking without saying so much as one word to him. Billy grabbed his things deciding to pay you and Stu a visit.

The drive back to your place was nice. He had a plan and things always ran smoother with a plan. He parked a block down the street deciding to walk the rest of the way. Your bedroom light was on making it easy for people like Billy to see into your life. He was ready for the worst. Maybe he'd break in like a scorned lover and kill the both of you. It'd be poetic but it would easily trace back to him. With your fragile little heart it'd probably stop knowing you'd been caught.

He lifted the binoculars he brought up adjusting the lenses so he could see. You walked into the room wearing some nightgown that resembled something he's sure his grandmother wore. You were holding a bowl handing it to Stu who sat on the floor. Once you sat down you were completely out of view. Billy cursed under his breath as he thought up a new plan.

"You can't hog the m&ms asshole." You threw a blue one which he caught like a seal. Stu raised his eyebrows surprised he actually caught it. "I'm impressed." You clapped and he did a half bow sitting on the floor. "This is one of my favorite's." You said pointing towards the movie that just started. Stu rolled his eyes. "Everything is your favorite." He passed you the bowl of candy. "What is this again?" Stu asked only paying attention to long haired actor.

"Benny and Joon. I saw it when it came out with my ex." Stu was interested in that story but he let it go knowing how much you wanted to watch your movie. "Billy should grow his hair out like that." Stu said before he popped a handful of candy in his mouth showing you the mashed up contents. "Why are you so nasty?" He laughed looking back towards the TV. "No, long haired boys have too much power over me. He keeps playing though I'm going to buzz off what hair he does have."

You were oblivious to the man in your home and Billy was scared for you. No wonder you needed someone to protect you. The key was still in the same place it was Saturday after they left your house. He wished he could relive that day. Billy heard his name so he stopped moving trying to hear what Stu was saying. He thought you were furious at him but you talked about him like he was still your friend.

Stu laughed. "In that case I'll grow mine out." He was only half joking. "I think you could pull it off. Grow it too long though you run the risk of looking like Shaggy form Scooby Doo." You teased tossing a m&m up letting your friend catch it. "I'll keep it like it is then. I have thought about dyeing it though." You squinted picturing him with different colored hair. "What color?" Stu scratched his head in thought. "White or maybe frosted tips." You cringed at the thought of frosted tips. "Fuck I'll make sure never to play poker with you. Damn." He laughed at the obvious face you made.

Billy crept up the stairs just enough to be able to see in your room. "Oh shhh. I think blonde hair would look good on you but frosted tips is just too gay even for you." He gasped as he brought his hand up to his forehead like he was about to faint. "Yeah you're probably right." He dropped the act eating more candy. "Besides once we graduate we'll pack our shit and leave. You could dye your hair whatever color you want. What's your opinion on cottages?"

You sat on the bed with a big bowl of candy while Stu sat in the floor at the end of the bed. Billy was relieved and a little disappointed there was no sinful act happening. Where did this leave him though? Were you both just waiting for him to make a move? You didn't tell him how to fix things and that bothered the hell out of him.

"You're worried about frosted tips being gay but you want me to live in a cottage with you? I might as well wrestle naked with Billy outside just to show off to the neighbors." You pursed your lips. "Include baby oil and I'll be there." Stu laughed scrunching his face. "You are an absolute freak. Me too." You both laughed eventually focusing back on the movie.

It was nice to know Stu was still his usual self but it was odd seeing you adapt to who you were around. The baby oil comment which Billy did not want to unpack is something you'd never say to his face. You were carefree around Stu and it felt like for the first time since he met you he was seeing who you actually were.

"Someone's at the door." Stu said pausing the VCR. You groaned knowing Billy was showing back up to either kill you or try some stupid attempt of convincing you that you need him. "I'll get it. Stay up here I don't want a fight." Stu nodded laying back on your floor. You walked to the front door trying to prepare yourself for whatever was about to happen. "What do you want Billy?" Billy had a small window of time to back out.

"May I come in?" He asked and you knew he was about to put on an Oscar worthy performance. "You may." You said bemused as you moved out of the way letting him in. "Can you tell Stu to come down here I need to talk to him too." Your blood ran cold. Billy knew and you were both likely dead. "How'd you know?" The door locked in placed once you shut it. "I called his house and his mom picked up." You sighed nodding your head. "Hey Stu, can you come down here?" You called out worried for the both of you.

Stu was terrified. He felt like a child in trouble. The walk of shame down the steps was especially embarrassing seeing Billy at the end of them. "Hey Stu." He said sending the boy a small smile. Your new roommate shot you a look saying something along the lines of "what the fuck?" Billy knew he had to choose his words very carefully. "Um can you both just sit down for a second?" Oh yeah the cops were sure to find you and Stu tomorrow.

Both you and Stu sat on the couch looking at your friend stand in front of you. "I'll be the first to say I'm not good at this." He looked to the floor only looking up once Stu spoke. "No kidding." He joked but you looked at him with eyes that could only tell him to shut up. Billy chuckled before talking again. "I'm sorry." You analyzed those two words over and over in your head. They sounded genuine but they couldn't be coming from Billy, could they? "I am sorry for what I did to both of you. Stu I'm most ashamed about what I've done to you."

Billy was walking on eggshells here. His eyes darted over at you reading you expression. You weren't mad. Stu has suffered Billy's wrath way longer than you've known him. "I really do care about you, I'm just scared of what people think about me. I hate the way people stare at us when we're out in public it makes me want to peel my skin off. I shouldn't take that out on you or make you feel as awful as I do. So I really am sorry." Billy's words worked on Stu you saw it in real time. You still couldn't figure out what was genuine and what was bullshit.

"Y/n." It was a good start but how was he going to finish it? The moment he tried to put the blame on someone other than himself you swore you'd beat his ass. You and Stu would have a body to dispose of. "I was and still am a horrible person. I never once thought about how you felt or how what I did affected you because I never cared." It hurt but it was honest. The way kids stared and whispered about him today, he couldn't begin to imagine what you went through on a daily basis.

"I'm going to change." You laughed dryly turning your head away from him. Billy dropped to his knees in front of you holding your hands in his. You were losing. He knew what he was doing and it was working. "I'm going to get better because I can't imagine a world without you and Stu in it. I know you can make it on your own but I can't. I need you a million times more than you need me and I know that. Not just to cook or clean but I need you to squeeze my arm when you watch a scary movie. I need you to call me out on my shit when I'm obviously spinning a story my way."

"I need you Y/n." Stu looked at Billy never seeing him open up like this. "You don't even know me." You quipped trying to be the voice of reason. Billy's voice cracked as he spoke. "Then teach me. I'll take notes if you want me to. This whole thing was to start over. We could bump into each other somewhere and we will meet for the first time all over again. I just need you Y/n, whatever version you give me I'll be happy to have." You lost. "Will you two excuse me for a moment?" You politely stood up going up stairs to your bathroom. Shutting the door you then turned on the faucet to full blast. The sink was going and eventually so was the tub. "Is she running water?" Billy asked worried he had done something wrong. You screamed so loud Stu honest to God thought the neighbors would call the cops. "Is she okay?" Billy asked standing up to go check on you. Stu stuck his arm out stopping him. "She does this."

You calmly returned, both the boys worried you might pass out from the length of the screams. "What do you want?" You asked Billy as you leaned on the door frame. "What do you mean?" This time he just wanted your forgiveness. He wanted to try again. "I accepted your apology. What do you want from us? Do you want us to go upstairs so we can some a threesome or are you actually wanting to figure this out?" It was sarcastic but you saw the brief second of consideration pass your friends faces. "I want us to be friends again at least. Did you know some bitches sat at our water fountain today?" He looked at Stu starting a whole new conversation. "Are they blind we sit there everyday?"

You snapped grabbing their attention. "I'm not fucking around. If we do this we do it right. I'm not getting hurt again and if I do I'm cutting someone's balls off." Stu put his finger to the tip of his nose quickly. "Not it!" He shouted making Billy smack his arm. "Ow man I was joking." He wasn't joking. "Am I understood?" The boys looked at each other not sure if they should feel this way about you right now. "Understood." Billy said as Stu echoed him. "Great! Now who wants dinner?"

Taglist: @katie-tibo @agustdeeyaa @bowlofceral @gonnapermashift @tati-the-fangirl @kozumewhore @tatijoestar @illyanam1011 @c4rved-pumpk1n @msghostface @gojosbucket @sammanna @lokigirlszendaya @reneki @fetusharryluvr @kadu-5607 @pumpk1n-writes @lovekeeho @tojisblood @zeysartzone @bluedevilss @life-of-music3 @flyestvenustrap @littleblondesoprano @loomiscorpse @nicciekawegosblog @reneemunson @miss-puregotti @ksgsfsgaj @zoleea-exultant @briefwinnerpersonaturtle @mistydreamscape @l4venderia @nex-crowley @ashreblogsnow @brynaa223 @your-desire666 @billyloomiswhore4 @holyladyofsorrows @megluv1 @ellieswifeiya @yoluvrz @forallthstarsinthesky @madsothree @youcantbesirius @lubunnii @captainhowdysseptum @geekygremlin @madneedshelp

Part 12

A/N: I am absolutely in shock by how much love this series is getting. I just wanted to let everyone know that the taglist is now closed. Thank you all so much for being so kind and supportive. 💕

(if your name has a line through it Tumblr wouldn't let me tag you.)

[bidisasterevankinard]

Inspiration Saturday

I was tagged by amazing @diazheartsbuckley

With break up and mpreg era in bucktommy fandom I was inspired to start quick mpreg fic where Buck and Tommy go through break up, but Buck also growths the future of his and Tommy's, their baby(ironic, right?). It's two pov fic on how they go through some stages of time away from each other

Mood board

And some of the of povs on the right after 8x7:

The words that the man who Buck was ready, still fucking can, call love of his life are flying in his mind, not letting him have a second of peace and calm. Not even when he sleeps. Because in the world of Morpheus he either relives the scene, when his heart was kicked too hard - he can’t be sure it ever will be fine -  again and again, seeing every detail as if in the movie, or he lives the happy life, still having Tommy near him, loving him. Buck hates that he doesn’t know what is worse. 

He should hate Tommy. Realy. Be angry for the implication that Buck just can’t know what he feels and needs in life. For how Tommy was 6 months making him believe he can be loved anyway, only to find out that the man had an exasperation date stamped on them, on Buck, from the start. And Buck wasn’t even good enough to serve him all that date. Wasn’t good enough at playing the game Tommy never told him they were playing. And now he pays the price.

He can’t hate Tommy or be angry with him even a little bit. He loves him too damn much.

-

He should have stopped himself from checking Evan out this time when the man was all sunshine and too much enthusiasm for the most boring tour over their station imaginable. He should have known the warmth of Evan was lava under his skin, that would burn him when he would be too close. But he let all his guard down. The man was too beautiful, hot as hell, brave, kind and impulsive in all the ways Tommy never saw himself ever be. And he was like a cheese for a mouse in the trap. Trap of Evan Buckley.

How can someone not fall in love with a man? How could Tommy not? How could he actually stop himself from just falling in too deep for the most beautiful and perfect ocean-eyed man he ever met? He tried. Told himself to hide heart depper, that Evan would see it eventually, so let’s not give him the chance to take away the sun of his smile too early. 

But he never expected Evan to be too caught up in how excited Tommy is as a first boyfriend, he never expected that Evan would still not see at least a little bit how broken Tommy is. The broken toy that people try to fix, but leave only more broken and unwanted.

Np tagging @wikiangela @diazsdimples @hippolotamus @theotherbuckley @bewilderedbuckley @typicalopposite @harmonic-intervention @hyperfocusthusly @repressedqueen @racerchix21 @loucifersbitch @louscurls @saybiwithme @asraindarkness @mmso-notlikethat @devirnis @bigfootsmom @bi-buckrights @lavenderleahy @leashybebes @queerbuck @actuallyitsellie @desert--moonchild @cliophilyra @powersuitup @pirrusstuff @tevankinkley @wolffnichols @watchyourbuck @saybiwithme @bekkachaos

[miniwrites1]

First Date Jitters - Ominis Gaunt

Request - Fluffy ominis x reader where they go on a date in hogsmede pls

Word Count - 1093

Theme - Fluff

Ominis felt his stomach somersault with each step that he took towards Hogsmeade, he thought that he might throw up any minute from the nerves that he had. He’d arranged to meet (Y/N) in Hogsmeade over a week ago for a date in a moment of confidence, but now he was terrified.

After spending nearly, a year sitting together in charms class, he’d fallen for her quite hard, much to the amusement of Sebastian who felt the need to make a joke at Ominis’ expense every time (Y/N) was within ear shot. But after the last charms class that they’d all had together, Ominis decided that he’d had enough of being the but of his friends jokes.

“(Y/N), would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me on Saturday?” Ominis asked with confidence, (Y/N) looked over at him, smiling before she spoke.

“I’d love to go. Are you asking me on a date?” She replied, with a small blush.

Ominis felt his stomach flip again just reliving the memory, how could he have been so stupid to think that she’d want to go on a date with him? She probably wouldn’t even turn up to the Three Broomsticks.

Ominis rounded the final cobbled path to the main entrance of Hogsmeade when he stopped to allow his thoughts to settle. He knew he needed to be calm, but he was panicking. “Pull yourself together.” He told himself, before continuing through the archway into the town.

He weaved through the groups of people gathering around the shop entrances, slowly making his way towards the Three Broomsticks. He was slightly early as he’d agreed to meet her at 1 o’clock and it was only 12:30. He decided to make the short walk to Honeydukes to pick up some commiseration sweets for inevitable jokes he would receive when he arrived back at the castle.

When he entered the shop, he was immediately hit by the smell of sugar. It did nothing for his stomach. Deciding that he needed to grab what he came in for as quickly as possible he began scanning the shelves with his wand for what he wanted, he picked up some fizzing whizzbees and acid pops before heading to the till, but before he reached the till, he felt it.

(Y/N)’s favourite sweet was directly in front of him. He couldn’t get himself something and not get her anything. He grabbed a chocolate frog from the shelf and bundled it with his other items, planning to give it to her if she turned up for their date. He paid quickly and left Honeydukes, heading back to the Three Broomsticks, hoping that she had arrived.

Ominis walked into the Three Broomsticks nervously, using his wand to help him navigate the mess of people inside. That was when he heard his name called just to the right of him.

“Ominis!” It was her; she had come! He’d recognise her voice anywhere. He made his way over to her quickly, sitting down at the table that she’d saved for them.

“How are you (Y/N)?” Ominis asked nervously, he didn’t understand why he couldn’t shake his nerves.

“I’m well thank you, and you?” She replied. Ominis responded quickly saying that he’s fine. The conversation was slightly awkward in the Three Broomsticks, it was so loud that it didn’t flow well. Ominis was cringing internally, the date was not going well. (Y/N) could see that he was struggling and took his hand from across the table.

“Shall we go for a walk?” (Y/N) asked. Ominis nearly shot out of his chair to leave, causing (Y/N) to laugh. They hastily left the Three Broomsticks and headed up the path that would take them out towards Dogweed & Deathcap. On the way there, (Y/N) reached for Ominis’ hand, taking it in hers again as she had done in the Three Broomsticks, causing a blush to spread across Ominis’ cheeks.

They stopped on the path just after the bridge out of Hogsmeade, taking a moment to rest on a relatively flat rock. Ominis sighed causing (Y/N) to look over at him.

“This isn’t how I expected our date to go.” He said somewhat sadly, (Y/N) smiled sadly, quickly embracing him in a tight hug.

“The fact that you came has made this date for me, I didn’t think you’d turn up.” She replied, Ominis was surprised, those were his exact thoughts as he was on his way to Hogsmeade earlier. They continued to chat while sat on the rock.

“You know, Sebastian has teased me about you for weeks. I’ll admit that I’ve had a crush on you for a while now.” Ominis mentioned, (Y/N) laughed and rolled her eyes at Sebastian’s antics.

“Poppy did the same to me. It’s almost like they were working together.” She laughed again at the thought of them working together to set this up. Ominis joined in with (YN)’s laughter.

“Maybe we should do the same to them.” He joked, even though he meant what he said, knowing that Sebastian had a crush on Poppy. After a small amount of scheming, Ominis and (Y/N) continued walking, hands clasped together back to Hogwarts. As they entered the main gates, (Y/N) spotted Sebastian and Poppy awaiting their return.

“They’re waiting for us.”  She leant up to Ominis’ ear and whispered. Ominis smirked and pulled back on her hand stopping her from going any further. Cupping her face, he placed a gentle kiss on her lips which she happily returned. They pulled away at the sound of fake vomiting noises next to them. Opening her eyes, (Y/N) noticed Sebastian holding his stomach and pretending to throw up at the sight in front of him.

“Was that Sebastian making those noises by any chance?” Ominis asked quietly. (Y/N) confirmed his suspicions. He sighed, handing (Y/N) the bag of sweets that he had picked up from Honeydukes.

“Please hold this while I go after him, the chocolate frog in there is for you.” Ominis said before raising his wand and charging towards Sebastian who quickly ran back into the castle.

(Y/N) smiled as she opened the bag, pulling out the chocolate frog. Poppy came over to her and looped her arm through (Y/N)’s.

“You need to tell me everything.” Poppy exclaimed, excited to hear what had happened on the date. (Y/N) was about to tell her everything when she saw Sebastian running straight towards them with Ominis right behind him. Before either (Y/N) or Poppy knew what happened, Ominis had pushed Sebastian into the fountain.

“Don’t run from me again.”

[f4ll-for-you]

I'll be yours | Modern AU Aegon

Series - The Work Trip / Falling For You / Rum and Coke

A million thank you's to my absolute angel @arcielee for reading and re reading this time and time again, ilysm <3

Warnings: minor nsfw, mentions of substance abuse, withdrawal from substance abuse

When the light of Saturday morning shone through your windows the left side of your bed was empty. Panicking for a moment, you sat up, expecting to find an apologetic note from Aegon, but instead you heard singing. Walking over to your bedroom door you peeked into your kitchen to see a shirtless Aegon attempting to make scrambled eggs, a blue tea towel thrown over his shoulder, music coming from his phone on the side. The grin that covered your face was impossible to hide. Aegon noticed you leaning against the door, greeting your smile with one of his own. “It was the least I could do after last night,” he said, unable to stop himself looking you up and down, you’d somehow ended up in his T-shirt and your black lace underwear that he couldn’t quite see. “Agreed,” you giggle, sitting opposite him on a stool, waiting for him to finish cooking. Plating up the toast and eggs, he placed himself on the stool next to you. “I meant it, last night,” he said, suddenly serious. “I want to be better, I want to make this work.” You looked back at him, smiling, “I know.” you replied, of course you knew he meant it, but you also knew people like him well enough to understand it wasn’t that easy. Neither of you spoke throughout breakfast, enjoying each other's company. Every moment with Aegon always found a way to be tainted with pain, knowing that it would soon be torn away, and you’d be back to the complications you both needed to sort out. 

Although your morning with Aegon had been perfect to say the least, however, the events of the previous night still lingered in your thoughts, knowing you needed to talk about it. 

He insisted on clearing up after breakfast, still trying to constantly prove himself to you. “Aegs, should we talk about last night?” You tried to approach the subject lightly. “Mhm,” was all he responded, clearly not really wanting to relive it. “When was the last time you ended up like that?” You asked. He continued to dry up the plates, forcing his focus onto them and away from you. “I don’t know, not for a bit, do we have to talk about this, I’m trying,” he mumbled back, only just loud enough for you to hear. You continued watching him from your sofa, thinking of how to word your next statement. “Aegon, look, I get it, your life isn’t easy and I’m not going to hold that against you, but there’s a difference between fucking up once or twice and being an alcoholic,” you spoke, the last part of your sentence coming out slightly harsh. 

Aegon walked over, sitting opposite you on the sofa; he could barely make eye contact as he played with your hands to avoid looking you in the eye. “I know, I know it seems really bad, but I’m gonna work it out, I want to work it out,” he spoke softly. 

A few days passed since the events of that night, and in truth, Aegon did seem better. He’d been showing up to work, smiling, laughing, even somehow getting along with his grandfather. Each night he’d come back to your apartment, you’d order take out after a long day, usually something fancy Aegon wanted to eat. You’d lie over him on the sofa, your head in his lap as you watched the tv show you’d both been bingeing. 

That’s how it stayed for a week or so. Aegon seemingly better, you, working towards the end of your internship. You only had a couple of weeks left now, your time consumed by your application for the permanent position in the company. 

Unfortunately, this meant Aegon found himself alone more than usual. He didn’t blame you, knowing how important the job was, how ruthless his grandfather would be during the application process. He watched in awe each night as you sat at your computer, your glasses on your nose, oblivious to the world as you continuously worked. Aegon might as well have moved in with you at this point, your presence filling the hole left by the lack of drugs and booze. 

In truth, he wasn’t doing well like he thought he had been. Yes, the first week was okay, avoiding drinking, filling his time with work and you, loving the positive attention he received for actually being sober. However, two weeks in, the withdrawal started. He’d wake up in the middle of the night shaking and feeling like he was about to throw up. He’d tip toe to your bathroom, careful not to wake you as he lay on the bathroom floor, the coolness grounding him. He’d found himself waking up on the bathroom floor countless times now, cleaning up any evidence. Luckily he’d wake up before you, keeping the reality of what he was going through hidden. You were so proud of him and ruining that would break his heart. He’d brush his teeth and slide back into bed next to you, usually minutes before your alarm went off. Kissing you gently as if he’d peacefully slept all night he would smile at you, appreciating your beauty. 

You both got up, completing your usual morning routines around each other. Aegon sat at the kitchen counter, barely eating the toast you’d put in front of him, his stomach still not settled. Noticing you looking at him with concern, he looks up at you, smiling. “Why don’t we go out for dinner tonight? You’ve been working so hard and you deserve a break from it all” he asks. You look back at him, the stress clear in your face. “I have so much to do, Aegon,” you sigh. He instantly met your reaction with his big sad eyes, knowing they were your weakness. “But yes, we should, it's only one night,” you reason with yourself. Aegon smiles, walking round the counter to hug you, kissing your forehead “You’re gonna get this job, I know you will,” he spoke softly, looking directly into your eyes and smiling. 

Finally the evening came around, another long and difficult day of work behind you. You barely realized you hadn’t seen Aegon all day, texting him to ask where you wanted to meet him after work. At your request, you’d decided to keep your relationship hidden until you’d been in your new job for a while, not wanting anyone to think you’d slept your way to the top. Everyone knew you were close friends with Aegon, but nothing more, knowing you were one to put work before any relationship.

Meet me at home. A x 

His reply left a bittersweet feeling in your stomach. At first, Aegon referring to your little flat as home made your heart flutter, but the worry kicked in, wondering why he’d already be there and not at work. Convincing yourself you were overthinking it, you made your way back to your little flat, lost in the music in your headphones. 

“Aegon,” you shouted through the flat as you walked in the door. You couldn’t hear him, usually he’d be sitting on the sofa watching tv, waiting for you as always. The pang of worry from before hit you again. You put your bag and coat away before walking into your bedroom. “Hi, sorry,” Aegon spoke, walking out of your bathroom. He looked pale and exhausted, his short white hair ruffled and slightly sweaty. “You alright Aegs?” You asked, concerned and confused. “Yeah, sorry, I think I ate something dodgy for lunch, so I had to go home early,” he explained. He sat on the bed, looking up at you, forcing a smile to reassure you. “I’m fine though, I thought I was gonna throw up but I didn’t, I think I’m just hungry,” he spoke as convincingly as possible; he couldn’t ruin tonight, not after how hard you’d worked. “We don’t have to-“ you began, “I’m fine,” he spoke, a little too harshly, making you flinch at his sudden loud tone. “Sorry- I’m fine, I booked the table for 7 so we should get going soon,” he smiled, looking guilty for his sudden outburst and walked over to kiss you gently, his hand on your cheek.

Trying to ignore the worry in your chest, you readied yourself, while Aegon was waiting at the door in suit trousers and a shirt, still pale as ever. You assumed he was just under the weather, tired from work, and struggling more without his usual pick me ups. 

The restaurant was beautiful, you can’t help but smile as you see the botanical decorations, knowing you mentioned to Aegon one time that it was your favourite style. He squeezed your hand and kissed your cheek, your excited reaction filled his heart. 

“I can’t wait to just find out if I got this job or not,” you say, looking at your food. Aegon had been quieter than usual all evening, picking at the food he’d ordered. He looked up into your eyes, almost as if he’d just remembered you were there. His forehead covered in a sheen of sweat, his hands shaking. As soon as you noticed, he shoved his hands under the table, looking back down to his meal. A frown crossed your face, instantly knowing he wasn't alright, the withdrawals you were waiting for finally getting to him. “You’ll be perfect, you always are,” he replied, trying to sound positive but failing. “Aegon, are you alright? If you’re sick we can go-“ you began, the consistent worry you’d felt all evening heavy on your chest. “I’ll be right back,” he spoke quickly, he didn’t even look back at you as he hurried himself to the bathroom. 

Aegon’s vision began to tunnel as he made his way to the bathroom, the shakes almost uncontrollable now. He could barely breathe, feeling like he was about to throw up again any second. He slammed the cubicle door closed behind him, sitting on the floor, head in his hands, dry heaving. His head felt heavy, thoughts running wild, he couldn’t hear, he couldn’t see, he couldn’t breathe. A moment of silence came before he threw everything up again, a second of relief washing over him. It felt like time had stopped. He grabbed a small clear bag from his pocket, staring at the substance he so dearly craved. “Aegon” he heard your voice, pulling him out of his daze. He had to pretend he was fine, he had to be okay. Before he could think, he chucked the bag down the toilet and flushed it, standing up to sort himself out. “I’ll be out in a second,” he shouted back, trying to sound as normal as possible. He heard you close the door as he walked out, staring at himself in the mirror. He looked awful. 

As he walked out through the restaurant, he noticed you waiting outside, your coat hugged around you in the cold. “I’m sorry-“ he spoke softly, his hands in his pockets. Your expression mirrored one he’d seen so many times on his brother Aemonds face as he helped him through a comedown. The defeated expression of a loved one who’s realised how broken he truly is. “It doesn’t matter, let’s go home” you say, putting a hand out to take his. 

Aegon didn’t speak as he stumbled into your bedroom, stripping off his sweaty, uncomfortable clothes and turning on the shower, not giving you a chance to ask him what happened. You ready yourself for bed, exhaustion taking over your body. The more you thought about the week, the more you realised how caught up in work you’d been. You felt guilty for not noticing Aegon's struggle sooner, for assuming he was okay out of your own selfishness. Tears threatened your eyes as Aegon stepped out of the bathroom, towel wrapped low around his waist. You quickly pulled yourself together, watching him put on some boxers and pyjama bottoms. “Aegon, are you okay, I’m so sorry I didn't notice sooner, I should've been there for you” you blurted out all at once. Aegon’s eyes met yours, a mixture of sadness, guilt and regret swimming in his violet orbs. Instead of replying he simply met your words with a kiss, passionate and soft, trying to show his love in the only way he knew how. 

The kiss became more and more heated as he pulled you onto his lap, your hands tangled in his short white hair. Aegon's fingertips brushed the edges of your t-shirt, gently pulling the soft fabric over your head. He made sure to kiss every inch of your skin, as if trying to map out a memory of your body. 

The pair of you ended up in a tangle of limbs, moaning each other's names and panting breathlessly. Sleep overtook you before you could even think, vaguely hearing an ‘I love you’ fall from Aegon's lips.

The cold, the first thing you felt when you awoke, your arm reaching out to the left side of your bed. Still heavy-eyed, you laid there for a moment, smiling at the memories of the night before, remembering the feeling of Aegon on your skin. Your eyes opened gently as you immediately furrowed your brows, looking for Aegon. Anxiety instantly filled your body, lifting you out of bed as you searched your flat for any sign of him. Assuming he must have texted, you made your way back into your bedroom, scrambling around for your phone, turning the light on in the process. As the dim glow filled the room, you noticed a note on the bed, covered in messy, tear covered handwriting.

I’ll be yours when I’m myself again. Aegon x

You fell back onto the bed, your breath caught in your throat as the tears flowed endlessly. He was gone.

Taglist: @evisnotok @raphaellathedragon @howyouloveyourdragon @fan-goddess @dk65 @syzrina @haydee5010 @afro-hispwriter @somiawn @dee-reads-books @kittykylax @xxxcourxxx

[wildemaven]

A Quick Photo

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader 

WC: 680

Warnings: 18+; Allusions to sex

A/N: I saw these photos on my dash and wrote a little something for them. This is set after Honeymoon in the Saturdays with Javier verse. This is a poor attempt at smut-ish again, it is what it is. I just love these two so much! I am also realizing I need some sort of name or nickname for Reader now cause it think it’s about damn time... 

Series Masterlist / Main 

“Will you stay still!”

“I am.” His voice laced with mischief.

“Javi! Stay still! They’re going to come out blurry!”

His hands grab at you again, and again you swat them away, trying to refocus your lens on him.

*Click*

*Wind*

*

Settling back home after the trip was an adjustment for the first few days.

Unpacking, washing laundry, cleaning out the car-- on top of situating back into the normal routine of life.

After breakfast you spent some time tidying up the bedroom picking up yesterdays clothes and fixing the bedsheets. Grabbing the stack of decorative pillows off the sitting chair in the corner, you noticed your camera had yet to be put away after unpacking.

Tossing the pillows onto the bed with out thought, you picked up the camera and noticed it still had a few frames left on the roll—  eager to get it developed to relive your trip all over again.

Hearing the sound of your husband in the other room had you thinking of just how to use up the rest of the  roll.

*

“C’mere—” His large hands grabbing unsuccessfully, sliding across your bare thighs as you jump back out of his reach.

“Not until you let me finish this roll! Now, please Javi, don’t move.”

He surrenders ands stands there, as still as can be in his snug white henley shirt, top few buttons undone and sleeves pushed up the width of his forearms.

He looks stunning like this. The natural light from the window hitting him just right— his features perfect and enticing. You can’t help but selflessly want a few photos of just him.

“Stop looking so…broody Javier.”

Furrowing his brows at your comment. “How am I looking broody? I’m just standing here.”

“Your face— you look all “I’m Javier Peña and I’m tough” like.” You say in a deep voice with your chest out, hands on your hips— doing your best to impersonate him.

He looks unamused as he stands there in a similar pose— hands resting at his hips, fingers just barely tucked into his pockets.

*Click*

*Wind*

“I do not sound like that.”

*Click*

*Wind*

“Javi, you do— but I love you, broody and all.” You laugh and lean into him for a brief kiss, his hands make their way into your hardly buttoned shirt— his shirt actually, the button-up one you had thrown on your nearly naked form before joining him for breakfast this morning.

*Click*

*Wind*

“Is that so.”

His fingers work together to undo the remaining buttons of his shirt. His nose nudging at your cheek, the soft slide of it against your skin as he takes in your scent.

Tender light nips to your jaw, the drag of his top lip down your neck as he slides the shirt off one shoulder— your skin prickling at the sensation of his wet kisses across your collar bone.

“Jav—“

His newly callous hands, fence building the last week taking a toll on them, guide the shirt off the rest of the way, leaving you in only your cotton panties. Pulling you against him, hands kneading at your skin, grabbing and caressing as they move about your body.

“Let me love on my wife a bit.” His breathy whisper ghosting your ear. “Then we can take your film down to the camera shop to get developed…” The slow glide of his finger tips down your stomach, inching closer to the ache between your legs. “Grab some lunch while we wait…” His tongue and teeth catch your earlobe, causing a whimper to rip from your throat.

*Click*

The last frame, an accidental capture as he walks you backwards towards the bed, where he’s eager to take you apart bit by bit.

Euphoria, thick like molasses, seeping through your veins. Limbs shaky, cradling each others exhausted bodies. Beads of sweat pooling before dripping down your dewy skin onto the undone sheets.

You’re too tired to care about anything, being wrapped up in Javier’s arms is all you have on your mind for the time being.

[plantinghobbies]

The Same Damn Thing - Part 3

Haven’t read the previous parts? Catch up here!

@solipsisticno1 and I are so grateful to everyone who’s read and supported our little Valentine’s collab that has (to absolutely no one’s surprise) taken almost the entirety of February to get three parts done. But we are halfway there! Hope you enjoy!

Part 3: “…I knew you’d haunt all of my what if’s” - Taylor Swift——————————————————————————————————

Val avoids him after that, volunteering for work trips no one else wants. A day here, two days there add up to weeks before she knows it. It’s harder when she’s in the office but not impossible. She’s the first out of the conference room after a meeting, flying out the door with her nose in her phone in case he follows her. And the last one there at night, only leaving her office after she knows he’s gone for the day. She’s subsisting on non-perishable foods for lunch and is shocked she hasn’t developed a UTI from holding it all day but both these bleak realities are better than the thought of being alone with him again. Of the whoosh in her stomach as it drops when she sees him, the heat that pools seemingly everywhere at the thought of what almost happened. What did happen.

Before she knows it, it’s May and her mum is texting her to ask whether she’s coming home on the 24th. Val dreads the day each year. Not the actual anniversary of her sister’s death (though that’s the worst day of the year) but the one where she disappoints her parents again by saying she won’t be there with them to relive the worst day of their lives. It’s not that they’ll be alone - her aunt always comes down and Val’s cousin who lives in town stops by - but she knows it’s not the same. The first year she had tried, but everything in her told her it wasn’t where she needed to be. After they went to bed, Val had thrown her bag in the car, driving until her mind subconsciously brought her back to the last place she’d felt close to Marin - physically and metaphorically. The calm that engulfed her when she stepped onto the damp grass of the courtyard felt like a relief and a selfish indulgence at the same time. 

Ever since then, Val had come back to campus every year on the anniversary, making up work trips and last minute emergencies to avoid telling her mom the truth - that being home with them didn’t bring her anywhere near the comfort that being there did. That the best times of her life were at uni that year.

The 24th dawns with a bright sun and cloudless sky. There’s a slight chill in the air as Val catches the train to her destination, wrapping her hands up in the long sleeves of her jacket. It’s not even 7:30 when she makes it to campus, wanting to avoid the Saturday early birds at the farmers market that wasn’t there when she was in school.

Lying down in the grass under her favorite tree, she tries to remember the bits of advice she picked up in the grief group that she’d gone to for a few months. Use the day to remember old memories, but also to make new ones, your loved one is always with you. (Val’s not sure that she believes that but  she has pictured Marin standing beside her during particularly difficult times over the years and it has helped). 

Flashes of memories play against her eyelids - Halloween when the whole group had dressed up as Mario Kart characters, complete with little cardboard cars that had been left in a pile by the dumpster of their favorite bar after they couldn’t squeeze into the booth with them on. Marin’s face when Val had given her her secret Santa gift - a limited edition of Mary Oliver’s first collection that Val had spent three months saving every penny she had to pay for (worth it).  Matty’s and Marin’s drunken duet of Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, cackling when Matty’s voice cracked around the high notes, his indignant claims that he was sick, not just shit at karaoke. 

The memories transport her back, so vivid that Matty’s voice sounds like it’s right next to her. 

“Val? Val, you ok?” A hand wraps around her shoulder gently and she bolts up to sitting, throwing an elbow out on instinct that catches the offender with a low “umph.” It sounds familiar. 

The “fuck me” he whispers lowly confirming what she already knew. A part of her wants to keep her eyes closed - to continue to live in her memories instead of face the reality in front of her. Out of sight, out of mind. 

“Ummm listen I didn’t mean to….” No such luck. 

Her eyes peel open slowly, blinking against the heavy sun. Sunglasses would have been smart. He’s crouched in front of her, one hand on the ground to balance himself, the other resting on his knee (the bad one. Val remembers the brace he had to wear for weeks after he twisted it trying to learn football tricks to prove he was better at it than James). 

“What are you doing here?” The accusation in her voice isn’t intentional but he reacts to it, steeling his shoulders and leaning back away from her. 

“Same thing you are I reckon.” A smile pulls at his lips before he seems to think better of it and tugs it back in. 

Of course, the one year that she is actively trying to avoid him, they end up here at the same time. She’s not surprised he had the same idea, he always did like ceremony. “Do you, umm, do you want to grab a coffee? Talk? Or not talk?” She is surprised by the invitation, her behavior over the last few months wasn’t exactly hospitable. But then again, neither was his. 

He looks lost, eyes sunken into heavy bags as he gazes up at her through his lashes. She wonders how long they’ve been there. His fingers twitch around a cigarette the isnt’ there. She shouldn’t, she shouldn’t, she - “Uh yea, sure.” Clearly he’s retained his ability to charm her into doing things against her better judgment. 

They walk to an old haunt where he used to sing at open mic nights, the destination unspoken between them. It’s only when they’re sat face to face, steaming mugs between them, that she realizes the mistake she’s made. Her other interactions with him since the incident (as she’s taken to calling it in her head) have been short, work-related, no direct eye contact or conversation needed. 

It seems it’s dawning on him as well. Matty traces the rim of his mug and then clears his throat.

“I uh I -“ He mutters something under his breath that sounds like “Christ man” before continuing “Uh, how’s the rest of your day been?”

Val snorts as she looks up at him but he beats her to a retort “Fuck me, I’m sorry, dumbest question ever. Don’t answer that. I just - I don’t know what to say after - “ 

“Don’t.” It comes out sharper than she intended. But she can’t think of that night, of what Marin would think. Not today at least. Maybe not ever. 

They’re plunged into silence once again. Matty fidgets and crosses his leg, knocking the bag over that Val hadn’t noticed he’d been carrying until now. 

“What’s that?” She knows he hates small talk but chickens out for safe ground. 

“Baby onesie from the bookstore.” Her eyebrow arches, eyes flitting between him and the bag. “No, not what you’re thinking. Not for me. For the kid. I mean, not for my kid, I don’t have one.” He’s always been cute when he rambles. Fuck. “It’s for James’ baby.” 

Her surprise must show on her face. “Oh I didn’t realize he had one?” 

“Yea, just a few days ago. He and his husband - he’s a great guy, you’d like him. As patient as you’d imagine you’d have to be to put up with Jay.” His voice bears no judgement though it’s clear he knows that she hasn’t kept up with anyone beyond perfunctory texts.  It’s not that she’d gone out of her way to cut ties. But after she’d transferred schools, it became so easy to pretend she was someone else - someone who knew what they were doing, someone who didn’t pine after a guy who didn’t want her (at least not in the way she wanted). Someone who hadn’t lost her favorite person (people, really). She liked that version of herself - confident, detached, focused - more than the sad, lonely, and depressed reality that she was trying so hard to hide. And her friends would have seen right through her. So she kept them from seeing. 

It’s the odd silence that draws Val out of her thoughts and back to the table. Right, Matty had been talking about James. “Aaah so he hasn’t slowed down with age?”

The smile he gives her then is small but warm. “Nope, far from it. I think the older he gets, the more frantic he gets about the number. Trying to squeeze as much wild shit in as possible. I mean, it’s crazy but life is short, you kn-

Val watches as he pulls up, looking for all the world like he wanted to shovel the words back down his throat. Eyes flitting everywhere but her face.

“I mean -“ On instinct, her hand is covering his, not able to see him anxious even after all these years. 

“Matty, I think we both know.” 

He cocks his head at her hand, and she pulls it back. Aware that it’s the first time they’ve touched since That Night. 

“Can we talk about something else? Please.” God she’s a prick but after a morning spent solely focused on sad, she needs some relief. Hopes he won’t mind. 

He snaps his jaw shut, clearly taken aback with the desperation in her voice. “Uh, yea, course. I’m sure it’s tough to think about today…” (Truth is, she could talk about Marin all day. Matty and Marin, that was a different story). 

Eye contact seems to be hard for both of them, each flitting around for something to distract from the heavy intimacy that has settled over them. God, why did she say yes to this. Their relationship - she indulges herself with using that term to describe it - is one third rail topic after another. 

And just like so many times before, Matty throws her a lifeline. “Did you hear that I’m still office snooker champion?”

The laugh she barks out startles the sleeping baby at the table next to her, both of its mothers sending her death glares as the hiccuping cries begin. “What the fuck? How’d that happen?”

A cheshire grin settles on Matty’s features as he leans in conspiratorially “Fucking cheaters. They got Dawes - he was judging, remember? Well they got him drunk and then kept fudging the score. Someone caught them and turned them into the party police.” 

Val settles against the back of her chair, crossing her arms. “It was you, wasn’t it?” 

His laugh sends a spark from her ears to her toes. “Now what would give you that impression.”

“Besides the fact that I saw you bring Dawes four rounds of shots?” 

“I think you’re mistaken.” 

“Even if I was, there’s no one else who cares enough about that competition to go through the trouble of reporting that.” Matty’s eyes narrow as she points at him, following the path of her fire-engine red nail. “Except you.”

The grin he was trying to suppress earlier breaks free. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She’d missed his mischievous look, like the cat that swallowed the canary.

“Oh well my mistake then.”

“Too right.” 

Another memory.“You remember when Daisy tried to impress that guy and ended up needing to replace the whole top of the snooker table at Shea’s?” 

“Oh my god - and we all nearly went broke because of it. Who the fuck knew felt could cost that much?” Matty says, raising his mug to his lips before realizing it was empty. He sets it down gently, looking between his mug and her forehead (he’s struggling to look at her, which would offend her if she wasn’t also mesmerizing his hairline right back). “Umm I’m getting another. You want one?”

The line had grown substantially since they’d come in, giving her plenty of time to observe him as he waited with their mugs. More time than she allowed herself at work, always worried about people’s noses stares and misguided assumptions about their relationship. There’s that word again. Time had been good to him, preserved his boyish good looks but filled them out, added a little ruggedness that was laughable when she thought back on how posh he’d grown up. Matty had struck up a conversation with the woman in front of him (of course he had) and not for the first time, Val wonders what he’s been up to since uni. Who he’s been spending his time with, the information that she can’t get from LinkedIn and the abandoned social media accounts she found one night after a few glasses of wine. He was always charming but watching him try to pull (she assumes, the woman looks like his type) now, she can see the quiet confidence that wasn’t there all those years ago when they sat in this dingy coffee shop, splitting pastries for lunch to save cash so they’d be able to buy more drinks at the pub later. That time seems like a million years ago now.

Val wishes that she could have outgrown her crush on him like she’d outgrown so many other things from that time. She didn’t need to flirt with the barista for free leftovers at the end of the day, could afford the good gin instead of the rail shit that was so bitter that she had to chase it with fries. Adulthood had changed a lot - but not everything. Her eyes still find him in any room they’re in, her laughter still bubbles up at his dark jokes, and her heart still stutters when Matty’s lips twitch into a soft, familiar smile when his gaze catches hers. Like it is right now. Fuck.

It’s not even worth pretending that she wasn’t staring as he makes his way back over, her eyes tracking his moves as he weaves around student’s backpacks and groups of friends huddled around a table meant for just two. 

“Jesus, that took forever.” Tea dribbles over the lip of the mug as he passes it to her. 

“Well, seemed like you enjoyed the company while you waited.” It was supposed to sound teasing but comes out with a hint of possessiveness that she hopes he misses. “You get her number?” Great save, Val. 

Matty cocks his head at her comment, that knowing gaze of his back in full force. “Um noooo. She asked if I’d been here before, couldn’t decide between the sticky bun and the chocolate croissant. I told her to go with the sti-

“Sticky bun” they chime at the same time. 

“Exactly. Told her she should go with that unless she liked the taste of stale poo in a dry diaper. Then the croissant would be the obvious choice.”

“Ewww” Val’s nose turns up at the visual. “I can’t believe she was charmed by that.” 

Matty’s eyebrow perks up. “Oh, she was, was she?”

“Fuck off, like you didn’t know. They could probably see the bedroom eyes she was giving you from bloody space.” 

The shirt he’s wearing rides up as he crosses his hands behind his head, subtle flex in his biceps. “Well, looks like I still got it.” 

Doesn’t she know it. Flashbacks of the incident erupt behind her eyes. His hand up her skirt.  His filthy words. His fingers as he sucked them clean of her. No no no no no.

Attacking his ego feels like safer ground. “Yes, congratulations, you can still pull undergrads.”

Matty opens his mouth to retort but then looks around, clocking the other patrons as if for the first time. “Jesus, was she that young? I can’t tell anymore.”

The same thought had occurred to Val every year she’d come back here.  “I know, right?! I feel like we were younger at that age.” She risks a glance up at him, finds his warm eyes focused on her. “If that makes any sense…” 

“Yea, I get it.” Matty always seemed to get it, to get her. 

Val isn’t sure if it’s the familiar surroundings or the memories that they unlock, but as they talk, the tension that laced each word when they first sat down is easing. Enough that she remembers the man in front of her, the kind of person he was. Is still probably. She’s flooded with feelings, confusing ones that have her heart in her throat, but also comforting ones, friendly ones, nostalgic ones. She missed this. Missed him. She wonders if he feels it too. 

A comfortable lull settles over them. The half-empty sugar packet spills onto the table as she fiddles with it. For the first time since they reentered each other’s lives, it feels easy to talk to him. 

She takes a deep breath, “Listen, I -“ 

Just as he starts to say “About that night -“

Their words collide and they fall silent again. For the first time in she doesn’t know how long (yes she does), the fog of loneliness that followed her around like an imaginary friend had lifted. She felt lighter, the world a little less gray. She wanted to hold onto that feeling and he was going to fuck it all up. What would she even say?! Oh, that night? You mean the one where I almost exposed my years long lo- CRUSH - on you? Came on to you? At our workplace? Mistook your concern for interest, like I always have. That night?! Nope, no memory of it at all. The feminist in her - who sounds an awful lot like Marin - screams that this isn’t a completely accurate characterization, it taking two to tango and all. But Val’s also a champion at self-criticism - Olympic gold-level really - and she’s the one who’d drunkenly started it. She can’t blame him for trying to finish it, even if it was a monumentally stupid idea. 

The tension was back. She needed to get control of the conversation. “You first.” Always a gentleman. A good man. Someone she needed to have in her life again, even if it’s not in exactly the way that she wants. 

“I was going to say, I uh I missed this. Us.” Her chair scrapes as she sits up with the force of gathering her courage for the next part. She’s spent almost ten years rehearsing her next words, in texts she never sent. The words tumble out of her before she can lose her nerve. “I’m sorry I was such a shit friend back then - “She throws up a hand to silence the retort she knows is on the tip of his tongue. “No, just don’t. I was, even if I had a good reason.”

He sits back, palms up in response. “But I’m here now and I’d like a second chance at it. Being friends again…..if you’ll let me, I mean.”

The breath she takes gets stuck somewhere around her ribs, probably because her heart is in her throat. Please Matty. I need this, need to feel like I haven’t fucked everything in my life up. I still haven’t figured out exactly how to be around you but I’m trying. Just give me time. I promise, nothing that you have to go to HR about.

She used to be able to read him so well, curses herself once again for the distance between them that makes understanding his expression now impossible. Matty hasn’t taken his eyes off her, squinting his right eye as if looking for something. 

Val’s just about to word vomit something out onto the table when he clears his throat, putting her out of her misery. “Yea, uhm, I mean, yea. Course we can.“

Relief is palpable, she understands that phrase now, her shoulders sinking down from her hairline with his words. Thank god.“Good. Then I won’t feel bad about telling you that I forgot my wallet and I need you to buy me a sticky bun.” 

His laugh, she thought, that’s what she’d missed most of all. 

[mimilind]

A Magical Classmate - Part 6

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader

Rating: T

Chapter Word Count: 3000

Parts: [ < Previous Part ] [ Next Part > ] [ Masterlist ]

Full story: [ AO3 ]

You take your love interest on a more casual date this time, and finally musters the courage to be a bit more open with your feelings. He tells you a secret.

6. A Magical Date

You were high on endorphins for days after the amazing ball. Again and again you played it over in your mind, reliving every single moment of the – until then – best evening of your life. The green and silver bracelet Drake had given you became your most dear possession and you even wore it when you slept. 

The first time you met again after the ball, you hoped Drake would wear his too and that your classmates would notice, but unfortunately you couldn’t see if he did; he wore long sleeves as usual. 

You felt a bit shy around him. Had he forgotten about the date he promised you? Perhaps changed his mind? It felt awkward to bring it up, especially since you hadn’t found a suitable movie yet. Once you had an actual date to suggest it would be easier.

It needed to be a romantic movie, you figured, or else a scary one. Something that would make you able to sit very close, just like in the opera that time. Also, it had to be a long one; a ninety minute Hollywood romcom wouldn’t be enough.

A week later you had your chance. You saw that the student theater was showing Titanic the next weekend, which was perfect for your needs in every way. Long, romantic, and sad. You had seen it before, in the late nineties when it premiered, and didn’t mind a rewatch.

You waited until the lectures were over before you approached Drake, making sure nobody else was around to hear. Unsurprisingly your body reacted like always on such occasions and gave you a rapid pulse and trembling fingers, but you put your hands in your pockets and hoped your voice didn’t betray your nervousness.

Drake accepted without ado. The time and date suited him and he looked forward to seeing his first ever movie.

“Should I bring or wear anything special?” he asked. “I don’t know the etiquette for this kind of evening out.”

His question made you smile inwardly; you had asked yourself the same thing when he took you to the opera. 

“No, you don’t bring anything; we’ll buy popcorn at the theater. But perhaps you could wear something a bit more comfortable and informal?”

“Hm, I’m not good at Swedish fashion. This is considered formal?” He indicated his suit. Today he wore a white one; since it became spring he had favored light colors, but it still looked both too warm and very impractical.

You chose your words carefully when you replied; he had worn suits all year and you didn’t want him to think he had dressed oddly (though he had). 

“Suits are fine, but a t-shirt and jeans will do nicely for a movie night. Perhaps with a casual jacket if you get cold in the evening.”

“Okay, casual it is. I’ll see what I can find.”

The following days went by very slowly. Now that you had decided on a day, Saturday took forever to arrive. You used the waiting time to think of a present to give Drake, just like he had given you the amazing bracelet. But what did he like? You had already given him CDs, and jewelry was beyond your budget.

Then you got an idea. You headed to a toy store and soon found precisely what you were looking for. Spot on!

Drake and you had arranged to meet up outside a fast food restaurant of your choice. Just in case, you went there half an hour early, but when you arrived it felt awkward to stand and wait for him like an impatient kid. You didn’t want to seem too eager. Instead you hid in a doorway at the opposite side of the street.

When Drake arrived you discreetly stepped out of your hiding place, joining him like you had just come too.

To your delight, you saw he had done as you asked and chosen casual clothes; black jeans and a long-sleeved, dark green t-shirt which suited him exceedingly. You were so struck with how good he looked you could hardly get a word out. 

“Hi,” you said, overcome by shyness. Then you gave him the small gift you had prepared.

“What’s this? It’s not my birthday yet.”

“You gave me a present the last time.” You shook your arm so the bracelet rattled. “I like it so much, and I wanted to give you something too.”

A wide smile broke out on his lips when he unwrapped the toy. “It’s a mini dragon! How cute.” He pulled you into a quick hug. “I love it.”

You looked at your feet, trying to hide how flustered the hug made you. “It’s nothing compared to what you gave me, but I figured since ‘drake’ means dragon in Swedish it would suit you.”

“That’s so thoughtful.” He put it in his jeans pocket. “I shall keep him with me; I’m sure he’ll bring me luck.”

You all but bounced into the restaurant. He liked your gift!

Drake had never been to a fast food restaurant before, so you ordered a burger meal for each of you.

“No knife or fork?” he asked incredulously when it arrived.

You showed him how to hold the burger with the paper and tried to explain this was how it was done, but he didn’t seem convinced.

One bite of the burger later thankfully won him over completely. “This is divine,” he said, voice muffled by the food. “I feel like a barbarian eating like this but by gods, it’s good. Order another for me, will you? I’ll pay.”

“No I’ll pay,” you insisted, and went over to the counter before he could stop you. This date was your idea and he had already given you so much. 

Two burger meals, one pie and coffee, and an ice cream later, he decided he was done. 

“You won’t have room for popcorn now,” you scolded him.

“There is always room for more.”

“I wonder where it all goes?” You indicated his slim waist. 

He shrugged. “I don’t eat much at home. It’s boring to eat alone.”

“Then you should eat in company more often.” You wanted to add that he could do it with you, as often as he liked, but felt that would be a bit too forward. Maybe after watching the movie together you would be braver.

The theater you went to was small and very old, and run by a student movie club. You bought a large popcorn to share, and made sure to buy tickets for the back row which had couples’ seats with no armrests between. 

When you found your seats, you pretended you hadn’t known that. “Oh, sorry, these are tight,” you said apologetically.

“It’s alright.”

You sat, feeling Drake’s arm press against yours. An excited thrill went through you. This had been such a good idea!

When the movie began, you could tell he was soon completely captivated by it. His hand lingered unmoving over the popcorn bowl.

You, on the other hand, found his closeness very distracting. His scent filled the air around you and you felt the warmth of his arm acutely. Seeing the contours of his fit body through the thin cotton of his t-shirt was no help either. 

“Do you like the movie?” you whispered to get an excuse to move a bit closer. Now your legs were touching as well.

“A lot. I had no idea you people could make pictures move like this,” he mumbled without taking his eyes from the screen. “It’s like… magic.”

You didn’t quite understand what he meant, but didn’t pay much attention anyway. You were sitting as close to him as you dared, reveling in the moment and wishing the movie would never end.

When the dramatic part began, you gathered every ounce of your courage. “It’s scary.” You sneaked your hand into his.

He tensed, becoming very still.

You immediately regretted what you had done, feeling your face burn hotly.

You tried to draw back your hand, but he held it. “No, it’s alright.” He made a pause, and then sighed. “You startled me, that's all.”

Despite his words, you weren't quite sure it was true. Why had he reacted like he did then? And you thought there was something off about his reply. He had sounded… sad, almost?

But when he kept holding your hand, you tried to forget your worry.

Now the movie was becoming tragic, showing the unfairness of the poor people’s fate, locked down in Third Class, unable to escape the sinking death trap the ship had become. 

Just like when you first saw it, you felt tears sting your eyes.

You edged closer to Drake again and this time he didn’t move away. Instead he released your hand so he could put his arm around you.

Heart thrumming, you leaned your head against his firm shoulder and slipped your arm around his waist. This close, he overwhelmed all your senses with his warmth and irresistible scent. 

He rested his face against the top of your head and inhaled softly. As if he was drawing in your scent too.

Was this really happening? It felt surreal.

You couldn’t say how long the moment lasted, only that it was much too short. The movie ended and you had to leave the snug seat.

But your disappointment quickly turned into exhilaration when Drake took your hand as you left the theater. “I loved it,” he told you, squeezing it. “I like your kind of night out more and more.”

He still sounded a bit down, however, and his eyes were red like he had cried. But then, Titanic was a sad movie…

“Where to next?” he asked.

“The park, for the drink-sharing I mentioned. I have cider.”

You walked slowly along the street. The evenings were very light this time of the year, but despite it being May there was a chill in the air. You hardly noticed it; you felt feverish walking hand in hand with Drake.

You chose a central park by the canal and sat down near the water. You opened two cider cans and gave Drake one.

At first, you sipped your drinks in silence. Despite the bustling city not far away, the place felt secluded and private. Huge trees towered around you, their leaves small and freshly green, and near the water a few lilac bushes sent a mild fragrance your way. The dark water rippled in the evening breeze.

The air felt warmer now, you reflected, despite the late hour, and though there were others in the park they kept far away.

You sat close enough that you felt Drake’s leg brush against yours. You hoped he would put his arm around you, but this time you waited for him to make the next move. You didn’t want to startle him again like in the theater. 

Thinking about the movie, it struck you how strange it was that a young man of twenty or so had never seen one before, nor owned a TV, or a CD-player. Even if his parents were as old-fashioned as he said, why had he not tried those things after he moved out? He clearly could afford it.

“What was your childhood like?”

He sounded reluctant when he replied. “Why do you ask?”

“I just find it odd you have never seen a movie… were you in some sort of sect? Like, Amish or something?”

“No. I told you, my parents were just very conservative about the old ways.” He had a closed expression and didn’t look at you as he took a deep draught of cider.

Again he had talked about them in past tense. “Why do you say ‘were’? Are they… Did they pass away?”

“My father did.” There was a deep bitterness in his voice. 

“Oh no… What happened? If you want to talk about it.”

“He died in prison.”

You stared at him. “Your father was a criminal?”

“Yes. A war criminal.”

“War? Now you said it again… what war? Where are you from?”

“It’s complicated.” 

You snuck your arms around him, hugging him. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t pry.”

He returned the hug for a short while, but then he gently eased your arms off and drew back. “Look… I like you. I really do. But this, that you are trying to… I have been thinking, and no matter how much I want to, I can’t. We are from too different worlds.”

His words made your throat grow tight and you struggled not to cry. He was breaking up with you before anything had even started. But why? You didn’t understand.

And what did he mean by different worlds? Was he talking about social class? 

You had to know. He owed that much to you, at least.

“Is it like in the movie? You are from a fine family like Rose and I’m simple and poor like Jack…”

“No.” He shook his head for emphasis. “Of course not. It’s something else entirely. But you wouldn’t understand even if I was allowed to explain it to you.”

“Explain what?” You couldn’t hold back your frustration. “Are you a celebrity? Royalty? The grandson of the British queen?”

He leaned his face against his knees, wrapping his arms around them. As if hiding from you. “I’m British, but not royalty,” he mumbled. “I’ve actually never been to America. I lied about that. I’ve lied a lot to you. That’s one of the reasons this won’t work; I’m not a good person.”

Now he sounded sad again, like he too was on the verge of tears, and all you wanted to do was hug him and comfort him. But despite being so close, he felt far away. 

“I forgive you; I’m sure you had a good reason. But please try to explain. I can’t… I can’t just pretend nothing ever happened unless I know why I must forget about you.”

He was silent for several minutes. Then he sighed deeply. “Alright, then; I will try.” He pulled out a smooth, thin stick from under his sleeve. “This is a wand.”

You blinked. “Uh, okay?”

He pointed it at the closest bush. “Accio lilac flower.” Something snapped and a twig with a few leaves and a flower came flying toward him. “Wingardium Leviosa.” It stopped right in front of you, suspended in mid-air.

You thought it was a trick first, but then you touched it. It felt real. You gave it a push and it bounced back in position.

“I’m a wizard,” said Drake calmly.

You stared so hard at the floating flower your eyeballs were on the verge of popping out of your head. Suddenly petrified with terror, your heart began to beat frantically. This couldn’t be happening. It must be a practical joke. An illusion. 

The lilac hovered before you; so ordinary, yet so disturbing in its defiance of gravity. 

“Calm down.”

Instead of soothing you, his voice frightened you even further. Liquid ice began to trickle down your spine and you couldn’t get enough air.

When he tried to put his hand on your arm you shied away.

He had done something to that flower and now he scared you too. You wanted to run away but your body wouldn’t obey.

You began to tremble violently. 

Warmth enveloped you; the air temperature was rising. “This is a warming charm,” said Drake. “And another charm makes sure nobody else pays attention to us. They can’t hear us either. There are many useful spells.”

His calm voice in combination with the warmth gradually made you breathe a little easier.

“I’m a wizard,” he said again. “You live in what we call the muggle world.”

“C-can you p-please take it down?” you whispered through chattering teeth.

“Finite Incantatem.” The flower fell to the grass.

You took it, but your hand shook so much you nearly dropped it.

Drake enclosed your hand with both of his, holding it still. “Do you see now why this can’t be? We’re too different. I frighten you.”

You met his gaze. His eyes were dejected and his expression glum. 

You looked at the flower instead, putting it to your nose. It smelled sweet. It was a completely normal lilac.

In a way, this all made sense. Drake had acted strange from the first moment you met him. He did seem otherworldly. And he had done impossible things several times, such as when he scared away the muggers, or when he miraculously cured your hangover.

But how was it possible? A wizard? It sounded like a fairy-tale, yet Drake was real, and the flower was real, and you knew you hadn’t imagined what you saw.

“That medicine you gave me once, was that a spell too?”

“No, that was a potion.”

You recalled the strange room with the cauldrons and bottles. “Your lab is real?”

“It’s real, yes. We make a lot of potions in my world. For healing, for sleep, for changing one’s appearance, for curing poisons… and many more.”

“No wonder you like chemistry then,” you mumbled tonelessly. The acute panic had become replaced with a strange numbness. 

“It’s a bit similar, yes. We don’t have chemistry in my world, or electricity, or movies. We do things our way, and we’re not allowed to show any of it to your kind.”

“Then this will get you in trouble?”

His features became even more gloomy. “No, you will forget all of it.”

“Of course I won’t.” Was he stupid? This evening would probably haunt you forever.

Shoulders drooping, he twirled the wand between his fingers. “I’m sorry, but yes, you will.”

You didn’t understand, and your head was too full. You couldn’t think clearly. All you knew was that you couldn’t be afraid of him when he looked so vulnerable and melancholy. You still liked him – perhaps even more now that he had told you his secret – and you didn’t want him to hurt.

“It’s alright,” you mumbled, stroking his shoulder. “We’ll figure this out. Somehow, we’ll figure this out.”

A/N:

Since this is an alternate version of the Harry Potter books without the Epilogue, I’ve changed Draco’s parents’ fate. In my version, Lucius was sent to Azkaban and died there shortly afterwards, and Narcissa inherited the estate, but Draco has no contact with her at the moment.

Thanks in advance for any comments, likes or reblogs!

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[willsimpforazula]

Sokkla Saturday Wk 3: Earth

My humble submission for sokkla saturday 2023 week 3. not quite good enough to put up on AO3 or FFN, but good enough to make it to tumblr, ig. very heavily inspired by Pictures of the Past, figured it could sorta work for when the kids start asking questions about what did mom do in the EK during the 100 years war *ps: there is the word 'earth' in the fic so that counts as meeting the theme *pps: TalesofOnyxBats is a goated Sokkla writer no cap fr anyways...... ******* It was going to happen at some point, they figured. After all, they figured that their kids had inherited enough intellect between the two of them to put two and two together. Or at least, have a good theory as to why everytime they travelled to Ba Sing Se (which wasn't often, but enough for them to have a semi decent idea of what the Upper Ring looked like.), their mother would often meet them at their granduncle's tea shop in disguise. Or why they would stay in the United Republics' embassy grounds instead of the Earth King's palace, among other questions.  __________________________________

Airship Lounge

Somewhere over Full Moon Bay

If it was any consolation, when the question finally came they were travelling in their private airship instead of on the ground in Ba Sing Se itself.

"Mom?" 

"Yes Miska?"

"Why do you need to put on disguises every time we go to Ba Sing Se?"

"Well…-"

"Also why can't we stay at the Earth King's palace? Aunt Katara and Uncle Aang and their family always stay there." Risa asked. 

Turning to her husband, Azula shot him a glance, which Sokka immediately understood. Taking a deep breath, she answered "Meet me in our room in 10 minutes.". 

"But wh-"

"We'll answer your questions then." Sokka cut them off, his voice taking on a serious tone that Risa and Miska understood to mean I will not repeat myself.  _________________________________

Azula and Sokka's bedroom

"Sokka?" Azula asked, her gaze fixed on the carpet of their room. 

"W-what do I tell them?" Azula asked nervously, simultaneously wanting to tell her kids the truth while not wanting to tarnish their image of her. 

Taking her hands in his, Sokka replied "As much or as little as you think they need to know. It's your story to tell, not mine."

"You were there when…-"

"We didn't know any better, Azula. Whatever you choose, know this: I will always still love you." he replied, kissing the back of her hand. __________________________________________ __________________________________________

Meanwhile, outside their room…

"Riri?"

"Do you think mom and dad are mad at us?"

"I-I don't think so." 

"You saw how mom reacted right? D-d-do you think we shou-"

"If we did they would have shut it down immediately, not ask us to see them in 10 minutes."

"I suppose you have a point."

"Once again, your big sister proves that she is always right." 

"Uh huh…like dating both Min Seok and Sakura clearly wasn't going to lead to…whatever that was."

"A momentary lapse in judgement." she handwaved, not eager to relive that particular set of memories.

"So you say, so you say. I suppose there is no reason to delay any longer?" Miska replied, giving their parents' cabin a quick few raps.

"Mom? Dad?"

"Come in."

Closing the door behind them, the twins waited with bated breath for whatever their parents had to say. "First off," Azula began,  "both of you aren't in trouble. That said, please stay back after this Risa, your father and I have some things we would like to discuss regarding how you conduct your…relationships.", to which Risa swallowed a gulp.

"But back to the topic at hand, what I am about to tell you is only for your ears alone and no one else outside this room. Do I make myself clear?"

When the twins nodded, she continued, giving Sokka's hand a squeeze as she did so. "How much of the Hundred Years War did your teachers tell you about?"

"Um…only that dad was part of the team that defeated the Fire Nation and ended it? Oh and that the Fire Nation staged a coup that toppled Ba Sing Se in a single night and occupied it for six months." Miska answered.

"Mom?"

"Yes Risa?"

"Were you the one who staged the coup and overthrew Kuei?"

"I wasn't alone in that, but yes, I was the one who planned and carried it out, among other things." Azula replied, before briefly explaining what had happened that night in the palace, though there were details that she omitted, choosing to set that aside for another time. If nothing else, they deserve to at least hear my side of the events, she thought.

With bated breath, she leaned against Sokka, a fluttering sensation in her stomach as she hoped against hope that her kids wouldn't outright disassociate themselves from her given her past or worse, hate her for her actions (who could blame them, really, she thought).

As the silence continued, Azula felt the urge to fill the space growing within her and just as she could no longer resist, they stood up and wrapped her in a hug, taking her by surprise as they let their simple action speak on their behalf. At this, her eyes started to tear as her worst fears proved unfounded and she hugged her kids tightly in response, even as Sokka wrapped his arms around them all. 

"Thank you Risa, Miska." she whispered.

[heyymikki]

did i grow up according to plan?

LOCATION: Mikayla Beaumont's home MENTIONED: @elliottortegax @nikodimopoulos @hernando-valdez

It had been weeks since the news of Hernando's connection to Los Santos had gone public and the man in question had gone dark. There wasn't a day that had passed since then where she hadn't worried about him, but she had work and class to think about and couldn't completely abandon her responsibilities. In between those, though, she found herself spending more time with Niko, finding solace in his comforting presence and reassurances that Nando would be alright. Penny had spent more time at the B&B and if Mikayla hadn't known better, she would've thought her mother was avoiding her.

Saturday came and Mikayla finally pulled herself away from Niko's apartment, heading home just before lunchtime so she could get a few things done before work later that night. She hadn't expected her mother to be in the kitchen with a serious look on her face, and dread settled into the young woman's stomach.

"What is it?" she asked. "Have you heard from tio?"

Penelope shook her head, lips turning down in a frown. "Not yet, but I need to talk to you about something."

Mikayla took in her mother's face for a few silent moments, trying to judge what emotions she should expect, but it was a mask with no discernible feeling on display. She pulled out one of the stools at the kitchen island and took a seat, steeling herself.

An uncomfortable silence settled over the room, the weight of everything left unsaid over decades bearing down on Penny's shoulders. This was a conversation she knew she'd have to have some day, but she had always feared her daughter's response to it. There had been opportunities over the years, times when Mikayla would ask questions about who her father was or how Penny had met him, but she'd always revealed the bare minimum in an effort to spare herself from reliving the trauma of finding out she'd been pregnant -- of being torn away from everything and nearly everyone she knew and loved -- but doing that wasn't fair to Mikayla or Elliott, something he'd so graciously reminded her of when she'd given him the news.

"Before we start," she said, voice barely above a whisper, "I need to ask for your forgiveness."

"Forgiveness?" Mikayla repeated, brows knitted in confusion. "Why would you need that?"

"Because I've been keeping something from you." Penny pulled her gaze away from the counter and looked at her daughter. "It's about your father."

Mikayla sat up straighter in her seat, curiosity piqued. A part of her had wondered if the woman had never revealed her paternity to her because the nature of her conception wasn't born out of a loving relationship, but she respected her mother too much to go behind her back to investigate on her own. She nodded once, a silent plea for Penny to continue.

Her mother took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before continuing. "Elliott and I were best friends as kids. We did everything together, with your uncle Devon and our friend Nellie. Basically inseparable. But something changed when we got to high school... and we began to see each other without our parents knowing. Mine didn't approve of him or his family, so I had to keep the relationship a secret, which was easy enough until... until I found out I was pregnant with you." She shook her head some. "I was so scared, I didn't know what to do. Before I had a chance to tell anyone, they found the test in the trash. They were furious, especially when they found out who the father was, and before I knew it, we were moving across the country. I had no way to reach out to him once we were there. They monitored all of my phone time, and I couldn't send him a letter or anything. At one point, it became easier to forget instead of break my heart over and over again with the hope we'd be reunited someday."

The longer she spoke, the more tension fused into Mikayla's bones. "You've... known who he was this whole time?"

Penny nodded slowly, the fear of Mikayla's reaction growing alongside her daughter's emotions.

"Did he know about me?"

Penny nodded again, but added on quickly, "I left him a note before we left to tell him I was pregnant, but it was the only information I could give to him. If he ever discovered who you are outside of that, I don't know."

Mikayla took in a few deep breaths, trying to keep herself calm. "Why are you telling me now?"

"Because he's here. In Tonopah," she said. "And he wants to meet you."

In that moment, Mikayla's world flipped upside down. Not only had Penny kept his identity a secret from her throughout her entire life, but she had also failed to mention that he was somewhere in the town Mikayla had called home for the past three years. Had she seen him around town? Had they occupied the same space and had no idea that they were extensions of each other?

"How long has he been here?" Mikayla's voice was quiet, and Penny had to strain to hear her question, the one she'd been the most afraid of answering.

"He... he never left." She swallowed around a lump in her throat. "He's always lived here."

She was quiet. "Did you know that when I said I was coming here?"

"No, conejita," she responded quickly, walking around the island to wrap her daughter in a reassuring embrace, but Mikayla pulled away before she could, standing from her seat. "I swear I had no idea he never left. He ran a chain of hotels around the country, so I assumed h--"

"So you must've looked into him at some point if you know that. Did you ever try to reach out?" she asked, her voice rising with every new question.

Penny, trying not to show the hurt on her face, shook her head once more.

"He could have helped us, mami. When you got sick. H-he could have-- do you have any idea what I've done for yo--" Mikayla stopped herself, hand covering her mouth as the rush of hot tears that had been rising to the surface finally bubbled over and raced down her cheeks. She turned away from Penny, inhaling a shaking breath and forcing herself to be steady.

Penny had never put the responsibility of her care onto Mikayla's shoulders and never would have asked her to go to the extremes that she had done in order for her to receive the best care possible. She should have seen the signs, though: the long hours of 'studying' at a friend's house and coming home in the wee hours of the morning, the night terrors that kept her awake at night for fear she'd never be able to escape the next one, the sheer amount of money a barely legal teenager was bringing home at the end of every week. It would break her mother's heart to learn the truth about where all the money had come from, and Mikayla knew in her mind it wasn't fair to hold the choices she had made against her, but she mourned the life she could've had if Penny had just picked up the phone to call him and ask for help. She was the mother; she was supposed to be the one protecting Mikayla, not the other way around.

"M'ija," Penelope pleaded, placing her hand onto Mikayla's shoulder. Mikayla shrugged it off.

"Don't," she choked out, sniffling. "You should have told me sooner." She turned towards Penny, a harsh glare hidden amongst the pain in her eyes. "I gave up my childhood and put my life on hold for over a decade because you let your pride get in the way of asking for help. I don't know if I can forgive you for that."

Mikayla had never seen this look on her mother's face before, but it was unmistakable: heartbreak.

Any other time, for any other grievance she may have carried, she would have wrapped her mother up in her arms and apologized in that moment, but there was no way for her to moved past that feeling of betrayal that came with the knowledge she never would have had to go through everything she had if her father had just been allowed to be a part of her life.

"I don't want to be near you right now, so I'm going to stay with a friend for a few days." She walked past her mother towards the stairs. Thankfully, she didn't follow.

[ladydarkey]

Once upon a Dream

Days ago I dreamed of this man. Since then he is haunting me. He has no name.However, the blury image of him in my dream was so beautiful, it forever imprinted itself on my mind. I couldn’t help myself, so I wrote it down and added some details for the context. Thanks to @kaagazkefool​ , who was patiently listening to my ramble about him.

Disclaimer: it was written in german and then translated

male/female, light smut, no fandom, you could say he is an OC now (?!)

I must have fallen asleep.

I woke up and I was angry. Like every Friday and Saturday I was with him. We hadn't had much time together anyway and I had to oversleep. It was just too comfortable in his arms.

When I opened my eyes, the door to the hallway was ajar and light poured into the bedroom.

He is still there.

It was the middle of the night, as so often, he was on night duty with the police.

A movement in the shadows drew my attention to the chair opposite the end of the bed.

There he sat, hunched over and turned slightly to the side to lace up his 10-hole boots.

A few black strands covered his face. The inverted cross on his earlobe, that swung back and forth with the movement, gleamed in the light.

Most of his torso was hidden in shadow.

In the dim light, I could only guess that the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up. With tattoos adorning his arms from shoulders to hands, there was no line between shirt and bare skin in the darkness. Nevertheless, the play of the muscles was clearly visible. I was fascinated by the rapid and yet constant alternation of light and shadow.

My gaze wandered to his hands, busy pulling the laces through each hole. The movements looked deliberate and yet very routine. Skillfully and almost silently, the shoelaces wound their way up. His elegant, strong fingers wore heavy silver rings. They seemed to change their shape depending on how they reflected the light. While his matt black painted fingernails swallowed any light. Ever since we started dating, I've been painting his nails. It has now become our Friday night ritual. Before that, he painted them himself, which mostly resulted in messy and chaotic results. His fingertips were rough from his job, which often required him to wear gloves. But that didn't bother me when he let them slide gently over my body.

A pleasant shiver went through my body as I thought about how he had caressed me with them earlier in the evening. His fingers always found just the right spots, as if my body were telling him where they were needed most. How he later clasped me tightly in his strong arms, his hands slid down my back, his nails digging into my skin and my throat wet from his heavy breathing and kisses.

A sudden movement snapped me out of my thoughts.

He finished with one of the boots and rose to tackle the other. It was only seconds, but I still got a quick glimpse of his thighs, which almost threatened to burst his combat pants while sitting. At least the curved pocket flaps made it seem so.

The pendant on his silver necklace flashed briefly, drawing my eyes to his bare chest tucked between the button plackets of his open shirt.

On his slightly hairy and fully tattooed chest, shaped by hard training. The nipples were hidden behind the black cotton fabric. I've spent hours studying the paintings all over his body and yet I felt like I didn't recognize them all.

Again my thoughts drifted to the early evening scenes. His bulging, thick and strong thighs, which I held between my legs. His bare chest against mine. The sweet sweat of our bodies flowed together. His silver chain is a cold touch against my nipple. My arms were wrapped around his neck, my hands firmly anchored in his sweaty, shiny hair.

Just before I mentally relived the climax again, he got up. All he had to do was fasten his shirt and put on his gun chest harness and he would be ready to go.

I seized the moment and got up. It only took three steps until I was standing in front of him, covered only by a sheet. It was very fresh in the room.

"You're awake," he was visibly surprised.

"Please don't go yet," I slumped against his chest, one hand holding the sheet, the other resting on his chest. My fingers played lightly with his black curls.

"I'm sorry. It's always hard for me to leave you here alone. Unfortunately, I have to go to work." His muscular arms held me tightly in their grip.

I buried my face between his pecs.

“I'll be back for breakfast. Would you like me to bring you a croissant or a cinnamon roll?” He gently lifted my chin with his right index finger. First I saw his loving smile. It was the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. I couldn't explain it, but my heart overflows with joy.

"Both?" I asked him with my best puppy eyes.

Then our eyes met and he nodded. As always when he left the house, he wore white contact lenses. I still don't understand why he did it. When we were at home he wore glasses. Behind them were the most beautiful, shining with passion, caring, calm, gentle and mystical auburn irises. They gave me comfort, security and trust. On the one hand, it saddened me that he hid exactly those behind the contact lenses. On the other hand, this beauty was reserved only for me.

"You know, every time I see you with your white eyes I imagine you're a vampire," I giggled at the imaginative and unrealistic thought.

"Is that so?" He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. A mischievous smile flitted across his lips, his long eyelashes swung briefly up and down.

Suddenly, he threw his head back, raised his arms slightly, and flexed his hands like he was about to dance at any moment in Michael Jackson's "Thriller" music video. He made a sound like a hiss and put one hand on my shoulder and gently pushed my head sideways with the other for easier access to my neck. bang! He bit! Not really. It was more of a gentle nibble. We both burst out laughing. I loved how silly he could be. He always made me laugh.

With a last kiss, he said goodbye and went out the apartment door.

I was still watching from the window as he got into his car. He turned around again, blew me a kiss and drove away. I stood there for a while, wondering how an average woman like me deserved such a wonderful, extraordinary man like him.

He will be home for breakfast and I will be here, longingly waiting for him. ~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it.

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[ocean-anchored]

Dear future self... December 2, 23

It's been a rough whatever, over a week?

Last off I think i was talking about how I was going for dinner at the Keg with Zack, i think by my last post I can easily see how that whole thing turned out again. I don't really want to relive it honestly but essentially the first few days seemed to be incredibly good. I know he had just basically come back from being sober so he was in a haze but he was kind. He was understanding, he was really humble and really gentle. He was exactly the man that I had fallen in love with in the first place. It was hard to not fall all over again & if I'm being honest, I did let myself fall a little more again that time. He was really honest at dinner, we had an incredible conversation again on just how things went & how they need to change, it was once again everything I wanted to hear. We had a really great dinner, he kissed my cheek at the end of the night but kept boundaries, that was thursday. Friday I was technically off work again so I took nova out & relaxed, when Zack was done work I ended up going over & we went to brewhouse for a quick bite. Again it was good, it felt somewhat normal again. He had said he told his parents everything, which I asked what that meant & he said essentially everything & how we were talking again & that he was coming back around. I told him how proud I was of him, that he had a lot of courage. We watched a comedy later & I guess let's just say I broke my boundaries & I'm not proud of it again. He's just got a crazy hold on me I just cant resist him it's stupid. We were having wine but even before then I still wanted him. I craved him & I knew he wanted me too. I stayed the night & we slept in. In the morning we planned to meet back up to take Nova out. He came over to grab nova & we went to the park. It felt almost like summer again. We had good conversation & fun. We laughed again. The night of the keg we had talked about going to see a flames game, it came up that vegas was coming & I mentioned that I was already going to the game & essentially we could go the next week before he left for his 2 week states trip. So saturday, after we dropped nova off we went to Cactus club for food. On the way there he asked who I was going to the game with, I really didn't mean to hesitate, I wasn't on purpose but I knew it wasn't going to be good, he said pretty quickly "shane?" & I said yes. He got quiet & I knew that was it again. The romance & happiness of feeling like things might work out ended there. I tried asking what was wrong but he said nothing. Again until we sat down in the restaurant. I already knew he wasn't happy, he had been quiet & basically stopped looking at me. I always know. Then he decided to speak up.