#I need to get freakier

[eebie]

[moraxsthrone]

nsfw. MDNI. x f!reader.

•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙♡*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛

wriothesley binding your wrists with his tie is all well and good...

but what about when he ties it around your ankles before lifting them in the air? his leaking cock bounces when he catches sight of your swollen pussy lips sticking out between the fat of your trembling thighs. he's got a firm grip on the makeshift restraint, keeping your legs up when they want to give out. with his free hand he guides his cock to your slit, spreading your wet lips open around his fat tip as he slowly pushes inside you. you cry out at the fullness of the stretch, your legs shaking on his shoulder as he wraps his hands over your hips to steady you.

"fuck, so warm and tight, baby..." wrio groans, working his cock in deeper with slow thrusts until his heavy balls are pressing against your taint. "gonna fuck my shape into you..."

he fucks you long and hard, making you twist and white-knuckle the fabric beneath you, your eyes rolling back as his strong thighs slap into you. holding his shirt up with his teeth and your ankles together with his tie, the duke watches while your wet, puffy lips suck and give on his creamy, thick length.

[starbuck]

every time i check the black sails tag it’s just people saying things that are technically true, but that’s as far as they take it?? What about the ritual sacrifice? the symbolic goat deaths? the murder rope?? zombie house???? we used to have fun on here…

[momett]

fun fact of the day: ven AKA stirringjuice outed a trans person against their will and used their gender against them in order to claim they were a groomer (hm i wonder why they'd specifically accuse a transfem person of grooming?), among other things!

[tigerplushh]

am I starting to understand what the 5 makima fans in this universe see in her or do I need to go to bed

[bcdwclves]

i'm currently clearin' stuff out from my USB & icon stuff, but gotta tell y'all, i'll be tacklin' addin' even MORE hung femboy manlets to this account. gonna be up to your eyeballs in hung, knee-swangin' femboys. and one hunk, size-difference-horny-inducing, barrel-chested fuck-machine daddy.

[citrine-elephant]

so yall like leon kennedy all tied up and whimpering, huh?

[goldensunset]

re: the music rant I tagged you in I am so sorry for tagging you in my double-dose caffeine fueled haterism explosion post. truly was off the shits and did not realize how much random garbage talking points I was ready to spill on the first person to ask

but i love haterism…..

[literalite]

tryna brainstorm violenr affairs edit i wanna get out one more before their month ends 😭

[kideternity]

I wanna say since like maybe 2022 Ive found it increasingly harder to read like comics and in 2024 I would like to try and read comics more frequently again but I think it will follow the path instead Ive already been going on which is reading indie comics webcomics and manga and other forms (Ive been pondering getting into European comics too especially Eastern European comics) of non Big Two American Cape comics like Marvel or DC. I think Ive finally reached a proper like burn out stage for MarvelDC content but I still love comics. I will always love comics and that includes Superheroes. I just need to first read comics that will remind me why exactly I love it you know

Anyways if anyone has any good recommendations, hmu ✌️

[whalesfall]

I know I’m not the target audience really anymore for this but it’s suuuuch a shame twc isn’t more biting more blood more freaky weird sex more ugly vampire relationships being a little weird after hundreds of years of being together

[frostbite-the-bat]

im so glad i dont know a lot of the toontown blogger's toons bc itd be rlly awkward to come across someone in game and be like FUCK I GOT THEIR ASS BLOCKED ON TUMBLR DOT COM NUH UHHHHHH

[giliath]

ohghhg... people like my writing

[myriicae]

Pacat cannot for the life of her write a chapter that doesn’t feel like a repetition of phrases that you could find in your popular average fanfiction and silly metaphors but at least there’s a blonde twink so i forgive her

[greaseonmymouth]

I saw this shared around on Threads (why do I go there, I hate it) and commented on as 'this article is so good' and 'must read' including by a few people whose opinion I normally respect, and seeing as monsterfucking and monster everything is like a special little interest for me, I of course instantly clicked through to read it

and I have to say

what the everloving heterosexual fuck is this

two fat paragraphs about omegaverse that don't even mention its origins - I mean - I just - gaze upon this phrase, and despair:

During estrous, Omegas’ vaginas ooze with “slick,” responding to the Alpha’s intoxicating pheromonal perfume.

IT'S CALLED "SLICK" BECAUSE IT'S FROM SELF-LUBRICATING ANUSES. THE REASON THE OMEGAS NEED SELF-LUBRICATING ANUSES TO BEGIN WITH IS BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE VAGINAS.

I. have been rendered figuratively speechless. the straights don't know what slick is. the. i. how. how did we end up like this

their dicks swell at the base, creating a “knot,” which lodges them inextricably in the Omega’s slick-soaked (I am so sorry) vagina.

"(I am so sorry)" girl you're writing an article about monster smut and then you have the gall to be embarrassed by the this tame ass (or should i say vagina?) heterosexual omegaverse?

okay, okay. deep breaths. we've only just got started. we started by covering Morning Glory Milking Farm, a minotaur/human erotic romance novel, which well - I've read it, and it's not a bad book by any means, it was actually very very good, a solid story with a great cast and perfectly paced and satisfying romance and loads of sex - is very straight. it's just a minotaur. it's a big guy with a big dick. it's your standard gentle giant/normal sized girl romance. it's not very freaky, but you know, I don't blame the average reader for coming into this thinking this is some out there stuff. gotta start somewhere, right? we didn't all come up through draco/the giant squid crackfic in 2005, you know? and now we've covered Sarah J Maas and we're entering omegaverse territory, this is getting knottier now, right, freakier? this article is going somewhere, right?

you can imagine the intrigue, enemies-to-lovers, and other story lines involved as each captured female eventually finds the member of the barbarian tribe who is destined to worship and fuck the living daylights out of her for the rest of their lives. Oh, and their dicks have a sensitive spur on top designed for clitoral stimulation. It’s just as blue and velvety as the rest of their big alien bodies.

okay so the minotaurs aliens are blue now, i guess.

It seems, also, like the romance genre as a whole is being pushed by monster romance to make things in human-human books as freaky as possible.

ohh?? are we finally getting a proper freak on now??

This genre, “why choose?” or “MMF” (or sometimes even MMMF or MMFM), and also known as “reverse harem,” always features a heroine who is showered with sexual attention by men who are also sexually involved with each other.

having a thousand yard stare moment over here

this author seriously thinks that all these heterofied monster romance tropes are paving the way for the real freaky stuff that is, checks notes, "two hockey players fucking each other while the heroine calls the shots"

this author is positing that human queer erotica/romance are freakier than monster erotica/romance. like. she said that. with her whole chest. black on white.

on one hand a monster, an inhuman being, and on the other, a queer person, a human being. and apparently the real freak is not the minotaur or the blue alien. it is the queer human.

is this satire? it has to be, right?

because if it's not satire, this article is an entire case study in itself on the monstering* of queer people. stunning.

*academic term

[smoft-demons]

Can he deal with a spider for you?

_______

(All seven brothers. Reader is afraid of spiders and asks him to get rid of one for them)

_______

Lucifer

He’s not scared of spiders, absolutely he can do it.

He might be exasperated about being dragged away from his work for such a minor thing, but if you’re genuinely terrified he’ll get it done for you with nothing more than a sigh.

I can’t imagine he would bother to spend the extra time on capturing and releasing, so he’d just crush it.

But he WOULD bother to spend the time to help you calm down after it’s dead, if you’re still freaked out. Annoyed he may be, but he still loves you.

He helps. He gives really good hugs.

Plus, it’s pretty hard to stay scared when you have Lucifer on your side. Nothing in all three realms can out-scary Lucifer. There’s nowhere safer than under his protection.

All in all, he’s capable and efficient, makes you feel safe, but loses points for being annoyed about it lol

7/10

Mammon

He’s afraid of many things, but spiders are not one of them, I think. It’s not uncommon to see spider motifs in casinos and such, so I think he can stand to look at them.

He can do it. He’s not even annoyed to be called on, he likes having opportunities to protect you. He is a good guardian!

He would be readily available too, because he’s usually hanging around you. No need to go looking for him.

He might pretend to be annoyed/unwilling, in his usual tsundere fashion. Halfheartedly complaining as he’s in the middle of actively doing as you asked. What a dork.

He’d roll his eyes, but WOULD take the extra time to catch and release instead of killing it if you asked.

He would give you a hug to calm you down after disposing of it, and then be very confused when you freak out worse because he didn’t wash his hands after dealing with the spider.

Then he’d correct that so he can successfully comfort you. You’re soft with him when HE’S scared, so he’ll be soft with you when you’re scared. He’ll deal with his brothers making fun of him for it later.

He’d never admit out loud that he’s a coward, but he knows it’s true. He’s very sympathetic to his human for having an irrational fear as well.

He’s very happy that he can make you feel safe.

9/10

Levi

Is confused at first. You’ve faced down angry demons and mortal peril so many times, and you’re scared of a bug?

He’s not scared, he’s THE Leviathan, the oceans are his to command! He’s seen WAAAY freakier creatures in the ocean, a spider is nothing!

But… it also… doesn’t defer to him, like ocean monstrosities do. It’s just… staring at him!! Menacingly!! M-maybe he’s a little freaked out…

Doesn’t matter, he insists to himself. This is his opportunity to protect his Henry! He will defend you, he is capable, he will defeat this creepy bug for you!

He advances upon this small enemy, cup and paper in hand. This is nothing more than a low level video game enemy! He’s good at this!

And then it starts mOVING, it’s RUNNING AT HIM AAAA—oh, hi Lotan.

… So uhh. Good news, the spider is dead. Bad news, the house is flooding and Lotan is inside. Lucifer’s gonna be pissed…

(Also, if you had happened to see the spider while he was gaming, you’d have to really beg him to come help you. Once he realizes it’s you, he’s on his way. But it’ll take a bit.)

4/10

Satan

If it were any of his brothers asking him to come get a spider for them, he would make fun of them relentlessly. But it’s you, so he will be nice.

Or. He will try to be nice. If you interrupted his reading or his homework (or dragged him away from a cat!), he’ll be annoyed. Now that you and him are close, he’s not really in the habit of lying to your face anymore. So… you’ll be able to tell.

You don’t dare tell him not to kill it.

Hiding behind him, you point out the spider. He regards it scornfully. Rolling his eyes at it where you can’t see.

With a flick of his finger, the spider is magically vaporized.

He softens as you thank him for saving you, especially if you continue to cling to him from your hiding spot behind him.

He’ll reach over his shoulder to pat your head and reassure you. He’ll tell you that it’s okay to call on him for this sort of thing again if you really need to, he’s not actually mad, he loves you, you’re alright.

6/10

Asmo

You might THINK Asmo would hate spiders, because he’s notorious for despising anything unsightly. But no. Scorpions are also arachnids. Asmo is pro-arachnid. That spider is friend-shaped to him!

So when you run to him all freaked out, he can’t help but feel a bit offended on the spider’s behalf.

He’ll let you hide behind him, but that’s not super helpful honestly, because he’ll pick it up and coo over it

He’s like, “look, it’s okay, he’s not gonna hurt you! Look at that beautiful pattern, look at those eyes, he’s gorgeous!” as he actively offers it to you to admire (completely oblivious to the possibility of the spider legit being pretty dangerous to you. Asmo is much more venom resistant than you are!)

… as long as you don’t let him put the damn creature in your hand, this may be helpful for you if you’re just scared of spiders. Desensitization and all. But it’s NOT helpful one bit if you have full-blown arachnophobia! Phobias can’t be reasoned with so easily! Being forced to be so close to a spider before you’re good and ready is actually very detrimental to someone with a phobia!

Concern for you wins out over offense as you tremble and hyperventilate, frantically stumbling away from Asmo and his terrifying new friend.

He tries to come reassure you, but that makes it worse because he sTILL HASN’T PUT THE DAMN SPIDER AWAY

He gets the hint when you flinch away from him. He’ll go put the spider outside. He’ll make sure you see/hear him washing his hands before approaching you again. He’ll even turn out his pockets to reassure you that he has definitely put the spider outside.

He apologizes for making it worse and offers some sorely needed comfort.

Still, later he’s totally gonna be telling you all about various spiders and trying to get you to see the beauty in them. He’s your number one ally for getting over this fear.

He doesn’t really get it if you’ve got a phobia instead of a regular, garden-variety fear, but he won’t be insensitive again.

Points for learning and open-mindedness, minus points for being very unhelpful at simply removing a spider for you.

2/10

Beel

You might THINK that Beel would be your best bet for this… but no!

Big and strong and protective he may be, but Beel is a fly! Spiders eat flies! It is hardwired into him to be terrified of them, even though he is much bigger and can kill them easily. They’re not REALLY a threat to him, but…

He might be more scared than you are.

As soon as he sees it, HE tries to hide behind YOU.

Beel is actually on the verge of tears. He wants to take you and run, but if he takes his eyes off it who KNOWS where it’ll end up?? You’ll both be paranoid for days if it escapes!

He calls for Belphie to come rescue you both. Belphie shows up to find you and Beel both trying to hide in each other’s embrace. Cowering in a corner, trembling as you cling to each other, both staring, glassy eyed and terrified, at a spider chilling on the wall across the room.

Belphie is used to this. It’s the one and only time he gets to protect Beel, instead of the other way around. He does a good job. The spider is efficiently defeated and disposed of.

Points for making you feel better about being scared and for indirectly solving the problem for you. Minus points for not actually being able to remove the spider for you

5/10

Belphie

Now, if you choose to go to Belphie for help… well, that’s a bold choice if you don’t already know about Beel’s arachnophobia.

He’s a brat and a prankster and you KNOW this

He is so tempted to pick it up and taunt you with it… but he won’t.

He’s not trying to give you something ELSE to forgive him for. He will never choose to break your trust again. If you’re actually scared, he’s not going to make it worse.

Shockingly, Belphie is actually the best one to go to about this.

You asking for his help with this specifically actually really endears you to him. Reminds him of Beel. You have unlocked the elusive responsible/protective/reassuring Belphie!

He’s not scared of spiders at all, this is the one fear that he won’t ever use to prank you if it’s as bad as Beel’s is, and he’s very practiced at helping a loved one with arachnophobia. Perfect, surprisingly enough!

He’ll kill it without hesitation, unless you specifically ask him to release it outside.

He absolutely knows to wash his hands and make sure you can see that there’s no trace of the spider on him or in the room before approaching you. Beel would freak out if he didn’t. He knows the drill.

He happily takes the time to comfort you and make sure you’ve calmed down once it’s disposed of. He’ll bring you to a different room and lie on top of you like a weighted blanket to help you relax. A nap wouldn’t hurt…

If you’re embarrassed about being scared, he’ll reassure you himself and then direct you to Beel. Beel is the best one to help you with that.

10/10