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yourehomesickiunderstand · 4 years ago

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About/Rules/Verses

Hello, and welcome to my Bofur RP blog. This post is a HUGE wall of text, if you are on desktop and would like to see it a little tidier, please see the separate pages in the sidebar to the right.

Promo Post Found Here

About the Mun

1. Firstly I am over 30, own a house, have a husband, 1 baby, 2 cats, and a wealth of commitments and responsibilities. I will do my best to reply in a timely manner, but will state up front that sometimes life gets in the way.

2. I am in EST and work M-F from 9-5, plus a half hour commute. Please understand that I can not post from work, and will not be posting during those times.

3. In addition, I am Mom to a very active toddler who is my priority over writing and who’s nap schedule tends to dictate when I can post.

4. My native language is English, though I can understand French, and a little bit of Spanish and Japanese. Don’t bank on me carrying on a decent conversation in any of those languages though.

About the Blog

1. When I first set up this blog I didn’t realize that secondary blogs can’t follow back, ask, or submit. My main blog name is Saffity, so if you see that blog follow you, it’s me. If I send an ask or submit, I will mention this blog name so you don’t get confused.

2. My inbox, ask, etc. is open. Please feel free to write me any starters, questions, or whatever.

3. Please send any critiques or suggestions to me. I’ve been on Tumblr forever, but have never really been a poster. If you see me doing basic noob mistakes with my posts that can be easily fixed, please let me know.

4. I will be tracking #yourehomesickiunderstand so please use that tag with our threads.

Mun’s Playing Style

1. I prefer my Bofur straight. I understand Boffins and other ships and have no qualms with them, I’ve been known to enjoy a good fluff fic once in a while, but this Bofur is straight.

2. Please send me an ask or fan mail if you would like our characters to have an already established relationship, I’m totally cool with it. I respond to all cannon characters as known as it shows in the books or movies, but if you are an OC and want something other than a “Nice to meet you” please let me know first.

3. I’m willing to do some fluffies, but not full on smut, if the thread calls for smut (which will often happen), I’ll fade to black when I’ve gone as far as I feel comfortable with. (Don’t worry, I’ll fade when I’m ready, you’ll never get any angry messages from me about going too far.)

4. Bofur here is multiverse, au, indie, whatever you want to call it. I’m sure he’ll fit into whatever crossover or world you decide to drop him in, he’s very easy going after all.

5. I tend to write in the past tense, third person. If you’d prefer a different style, just let me know and I’ll try to accommodate.

6. I’m bad with my images, so bad! I’m still figuring everything out, so if I’ve royally screwed something up, please let me know and I will delete and repost correctly.

7. I am super okay with editing anything I write if it doesn’t jive with your character or where you want the plot to go, please just let me know.

8. I mainly play on mobile, as such, I’m not able to cut my posts down. Please do so whenever you feel the need/want, I won’t be upset.

Head Cannons that go across all verses

1. Bofur has a Northern Irish accent and his hat, always his hat.

2. Bofur has named his hat Bundushathur, which in Khuzdul means “Cloudyhead” and will sometimes refer to his hat as a sleeping rabbit. If Khuzdul does not exist in the verse (like Modern) then the hat is called Cloudyhead and still referred to as a rabbit.

3. Bofur is the everyman, he isn’t special or high born. He is good natured, friendly, and the world’s best wingman, even if it means connecting someone he pines after with someone else. He would rather see them happy and keep their friendship than try to force his feelings on them or lose their friendship because of his pride.

4. The main characteristic about Bofur is that he is unimportant in the hierarchy of society.

Main Verse - The Hobbit/LOTR

Bofur is 4'6" but fairly thin for a dwarf.

Bofur is a dwarf who’s family line comes from Moria. He is of the mining class. He was born and raised in Ered Luin with his brother. Shortly after Bofur became an adult, his parents died, leaving him to raise his brother. Shortly after that, Bifur was injured in an orc attack. Bofur and Bombur took Bifur in, however there were a number of difficult years as they all got used to Bifur’s new personality.

Once Bifur was stable enough, the brothers decided it would be a good idea to head out and find new customers for their skills. They ended up at Bree, opening up a shop to sell Bifur’s fabulous toys, and offer tinkering services.

During their stay in Bree, Bombur got married to a passing female dwarf and moved his overly large family near the shop. Bifur and Bofur live together in living quarters at the back of the shop, Bombur lived with them until he got married.

Bofur travels around Middle Earth, usually west of the Misty Mountains, and most often between Bree and Ered Luin by way of the Shire. He collects supplies, sells wares, and visits many friends and family that are about the lands.

When Thorin calls for assistance in taking back Erebor, Bofur and his kin lock up their shop and head for the Shire.

After the quest they settle in Erebor, though Bofur heads back to Bree to close up their shop and settle accounts prior to settling in for a long life of enjoying his 14th share of the treasure.

Head Cannons that can totally change if my partner is a Bifur or Bombur

1. Bofur’s father was killed in Moria at the battle of Azanulbizar, his Mother died in an Orc attack when Bofur was in his 40s. He has taken care of his brother ever since.

2. Bofur took Bifur in after Bifur was orphaned as well, the three are like brothers, having shared the experience of loss and growing up together.

3. Bombur stopped speaking after their mother died. Bofur’s tried to get him to speak, and has managed to get him to speak sometimes, but usually just small replies and often with much prodding. Bifur and Bombur use the same sign language to speak to each other and those who don’t speak Khuzdul. Bofur takes care of both of them and is the one who speaks to customers.

Modern Verse

High School

Bofur is not popular, though he’s friendly and basically knows everyone. He enjoys shop class, classical music, and historical literature.

Studious and hard working, Bofur can often be found with his nose in a book, when not sitting on the bleachers playing the tin flute he always has on him.

College Student

Bofur is a TA in college. His major is historical literature, and his goal is to eventually become a professor. His passion is delving into historical fanatasy from cultures other than England and Western Europe.

He enjoys learning languages in order to read what he is researching in its original state.

General Modern Adult

In most modern adult verses Bofur is a general labourer, most often a janitor. If he is a teacher, he teaches music and drama.

Ice Cream Shop

Bofur runs a small home made ice cream shop that is part of a coffee shop run with a companion or family member (his partner can be any member of the company). He makes a variety of flavours, and offers lactose and gluten free varieties.

He prides himself on being able to guess his customers’ favourites on sight (like the movie Chocolat).

Marvel

Bofur is a janitor within shield. He can be found on the helicarrier, within the Avengers training base, or basically anywhere the heroes may be destroying things that need to be cleaned up.

While he is quiet and without powers, he has wisdom and a patient ear to lend to those supers who require a moment to vent.

Star Trek

This is the only verse where Bofur stands out. Bofur is a red shirt, but by some miraculous turn of events, he has gone on a number of away missions and made it back alive. Poor Bofur would love to get off the enterprise with his life, and shirt, in tact, but it appears some of the higher officers like to see him lose his mind and suggest him for more away missions, even if only in jest.

Head cannons that exist in all modern verses

1. Bofur and his family are from Northern Ireland, though Bofur travels around, goes to school abroad, and in general can pop up anywhere in the world.

2. Bofur is short for a male - 5'6", with a stocky build, and fairly strong.

3. Bofur’s younger brother Bombur is still at home (or married with kids depending on their age).

4. Bofur’s parents took Bifur in after he got injured during Armed Forces training, as Bofur’s family lives closer to the rehab resources that Bifur requires.

#out of songs

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fandomtrash264 · 5 years ago

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I have some Fred and George promts that I don't want to forget so imma put them here. If you are interested in writting them, by all means go for it, just tag me. I don't think I have a preference over who is in each scenario. I will probably write George and Fred based on what I thought but they should work with either twin. I do think they are different, im just saying that I could see the story going with either boy

• Reader and Fred pull a prank on George that changes his hair color based on mood. (Red - angry, blue - sad, green - disgust, light pink - embarrassed, hot pink - flirty, purple - in love/swooning, dark purple -lust) The 3 are sitting in the great hall eating and George is staring at reader and his hair turns purple. Reader thinks he has just zoned out and starts to bug him asking who he is thinking about. Leads to confession (and I imagine he is embarrassed so his hair is pink)

• Reader is a metamorphmagus and they like to switch between male and female so they change their physical appearance as such. (I see Fred as bi ngl) Fred gets a crush on the reader without knowing they are both people. A little while later, he falls for the other side (if that makes sense) of them and thinks he likes 2 different people. He is super torn and has no idea what to do

•This one is a Soulmate AU. The one where you can hear the music your soulmate is listening to. Reader is listening to ✨🌶 S p i c y 🌶 ✨ music and he knows its reader and he is shocked because they don't seem like they would listen to it and he is pleasantly suprised to find they are super flirty and such (he is twin of your choice lol)

•Yet again, one of our boys gets pranked. They lie about something that makes reader upset so they prank them so that everytime they try to talk, bubbles come out instead and the only way to undo it is to do somthing super embarrassing (I'll leave that to y'alls imagination's) and they refuse because they are petty but they eventually give in with this big social stunt or smth

•i imagine reader is a Ravenclaw (could really be any) who is the child of Bellatrix and *Moldy Voldy* (why ravenclaw you ask? I'll explain) They are in George and Fred's year so they are older than Harry. Reader was rescued a little before Harry was born and got to stay with someone else (probably Remus or smth. I imagine a gryfinndor so that way the Slytherin and the Gryfinndor kinda cancel out so you get Ravenclaw. Slytherin is their blood but they know its wrong so they push for the good values. I know slytherins can be good [believe me, I am very big on the fact that not all Slytherins are evil] but when its Bella and Mr. Tom, they have some bad bones) and they keep it a secret from their friends (the twins, the trio, etc.) Until Remus brings them to an OoTP meeting. He doesn't say who he just says he is bringing He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named 's child and they are terrified of how their friends will react. Kinda angsty but eventually they all understand that reader isn't evil

• Branching off of the previous, same family situation but when they were younger, they weren't seen as a child, they were a weapon. Trixie and Tommy boy would experiment on them so they are lowkey fucked up. They are super powerful and struggle to control it. Reader freaks out because they are terrified that he will be able to control them or see in their mind and good 'ole Gred and Forge help our reader to feel better and reassure them

• Reader and a twin are dating in 7th year (With Umbridge) and instead of breaking up or telling them about the plan to start a shop, they just leave and break off all contact. Years later they see each other and reader confronts them about how he couldn't even break up with them before leaving and he confesses his worries. Inspired by the song Ways to Break a Heart by Maddie Zahm [you can find it on YouTube]

• Can happen to either the reader or George or Fred but somehow by prank or accident in class, they get separated into different parts of themselves [parts like the 7 deadly sins (so they would be split into Pride and Lust) but also other things work (like Fear and Wonder)] and the other 2 have to deal with it until the problem is fixed

• (I have a lot with the boys and pranks, sorry lol) the boys get de-aged and reader has to chase them around because they are H E A T H E N S but then later on they put them to sleep and the Love Interest (twin of choice) snuggles up to them and mentions how much they love them and reader gives it no mind because "he was a baby". They snuggle and when they wake up the boys are of normal age and the Love Interest just snuggles closer and says something like "I meant it y'know. I really do love you/think you're amazing" and just. Fluff

• (I wrote George, yet again, could work with either) Reader is playing with the sleeve/hem/string of George's sweater/hoodie and he quips with a flirty comment like "you want the whole thing? Here, give it back when it smells like you" and the reader brushes it off as a flirty comment and teases "how am I supposed to know what I smell like? I'm noseblind to myself" and he gives them a scent. The scent seems familiar to them but oh well. They wear it because its soft and it smells like him and later on when they are chilling in the common room or whatever (George isn't there) they realize that's what he said he smelt in his Amortentia in potions last week and they lowkey freak out and go to ask him about it and aaaah! Cute things ensue

• [!!!TW: Depression, suicidal thoughts!!!] Can happen to either reader or one of the boys.(If it happens to a boy i see it being George as he seems insecure of being in Fred's shadow and I will write the prompt that way but it works with Fred and reader as well) George has been a little off recently and reader and Fred can't figure out what it is until reader goes to the astronomy tower late one night and finds George on the roof of the atronomy tower, seemingly fighting with himself about whether or not he should jump off. Angst, ends with fluff, reader helps him to feel better. Inspired by the song Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths

•During their 6th year with the Triwizard Tournament, a durmstrange gent takes a liking to the reader. They start to court the reader and flirt with them, give them lots of compliments, try to show their affection. The Love Interest (again, twin of choice) get REALLY jealous tho and decides to try and out-do the durmstrang boy. This leads to really extravagant methods of flirting (ex. Sending a howler that is actually a shower of compliments or after a big quidditch match, the whole team does a choreographed dance where the suitor sings/performs to reader) all of this leading up to the yule ball. They either go with the durmstrange guy and deal with Love Interest later or they end up going with the Twin, whatever you would like

• Everyone is at the Burrow and they decide to watch a movie. While everyone is in the kitchen, the twin (who is the Love Interest) comes by and says "Oh! Are you guys watching a movie?" Readet replies "Yeah, P.S. I Love you" and he just blushes really hard and sits next to them and says "I love you too". Reader doesn't know how of if they are gonna tell him that "P.S. I Love You" is the name of the movie. Then everyone else comes back in so they have to wait until after the movie to talk about it. The whole time the movie is going all they can focus on are the "I Love You"s that escaped each others mouths. Inspired by a wolfstar text post by @starsandmoonys

• Inspired by the drarry work, Mental by sara_holmes on Ao3 (which you should totally go read like holy shit i love this idea sooooo much) written with George but as usual, can work with either. Reader is in for total shock when a joke gone sour ends with George striking them with a bad Legilimency spell. Due to this spell, they can (and have to) hear each others thoughts and see the pictures in each other's minds. What will happen when they see all that goes on in each others heads? Will they learn to communicate? Will they let one another in? Will they like who they see, or will they be scared away from the thoughts behind closed eyes?

• (TW!!!!: Dreamt character death, War) Fred and reader have been friends-with-benefits for a long time with feelings slowly growing between the 2 of them. They stay in denial until Fred has a nightmare one day where reader dies in the war. The next day he is desperate to hold them and see that they are okay. He confesses his feelings in fear of losing them. Inspired by Woke the Fuck Up - Jon Bellion

• [(TW!!! War) Fred lives] Fred and Reader had a huge fight right before Fred and George left Hogwarts and leave things on a rocky ending. Fred knows just how much he needs Reader and he desperately wants them back. Reader doesn't want to admit it but they miss him.and want him back too. They see each other again after the war and Fred breaks down in their arms and confesses how much he misses them and needs them. How hard it has been without them. Reader reciprocates these feelings and tells him. They start over, slowly building their love up again inspired by Bad Habit - Ben Platt [First verse and Pre-chorus would be Fred's feelings and second verse and Pre-chorus would be Reader. They blend on the 3rd]

• George has been strangely quiet all day. Reader is confused and a little hurt as George seems to avoid them. Leaving rooms when they walk in, not keeping eye contact and staying as physically far as he can. That is until they sit down in the great hall for lunch and Fred tells his friends (including reader) all about having put a truth serum in George's drink and all the funny things he has gotten him to admit. Reader goes to confront George about what he is hiding (because otherwise he would talk to them, right?) And they get an oddly specific but touching confession [ie. "I borrow your chapstick because that is what your lips will taste like" and "I see you in my dreams almost every night" ] inspired by Jenny - Studio Killers

• [Choose whether the person who can dance is reader or Twin of Choice. I will be writting with reader] The yule ball is coming up and reader can't dance to save their life. A certain red-heades friend comes in to help. At first, reader doesn't believe him because "c'mon, why would you know how to ballroom dance?" But they are pleasantly suprised to find they are actually really good at it. Like, REALLY good. "Mum made all of us learn. In case we ever needed it". Reader notices their feelings start to change as they spend more and more sessions together dancing until the yule ball occurs. Take it from there lol

• just a very cliche typical love potion fic. Reader volunteers to be on the receiving end of one of Fred and George's pranks- spike their drink with love potion- on one condition. The person reader will be in love with, knows about it. Reader figures this will allow them some leeway and safety against other pranks. All is going well until they spike the drink for reader to like (twin of your choice) and they realize that nothing has happened except they are a bit more flirty. Everyone is crazy confused because for everyone else they were head over heels swooning and attached at the hip until Hermionie (or somebody else) quips in with "You can't create something that already exists, y'know".

• So this one is less creative and it's also a mix of 2 tropes but bear with me. Reader is a very outgoing flirtatious type of person. They openly flirt with everyone, Fred, Ginny, Neville, Dean, etc. They don't care, its a way they show affection. Then, when they start to get a crush on George (or Fred) they star getting more shy and reserved with him. And he is completely clueless. He's lowkey hurt because "why doesn't Y/n crack jokes like that with me?" And shit like that. He is feeling down when he sees it. No, not 'it', he sees you. You and Fred flirting. He's got you cornered to the wall and your cheeks are flushed and George is big mad. (When really, Fred just cornered them so they couldn't avoid the question and was teasing and asking about their crush on George). George ends up seeing out Y/n, getting them alone and confronting them. Light angst? But ends fluffy as reader explains what actually happened

*im going to keep updating this as I get more ideas so be prepared*

#prompt list #my prompts #fred and george #fred weasley #george weasley #george weasley x reader #fred weasley x y/n #most of these are based off of songs

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draconic-interactions · 4 years ago

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Preferences

-Let’s start with the big one: I will not write smut. Period. If that's what you're here for you can go elsewhere.

-I love other forms of shipping, though. Platonic, romantic, familial, I'll take it all! I’ll pretty much always approve a ship, just don't spring it on me randomly mid-thread. All it takes to warn me is a message!

-That said, I do ship chemistry. If I'm not feeling it, it's not gonna happen, sorry.

-I am open to rp with minors. Some of my favorite threads I did when I was a minor were with older writers. However, with minors (both muses and muns), I have a soft blanket-ban on romantic ships. This becomes a hard ban if the muse is any sort of minor (Unless they’re shipped with a minor muse) or the mun is under 16.

-I love and will absolutely accept anons (magic and otherwise), asks, memes, starters, etc., with no warning, and if I receive one, I do try to return the favor.

-On that note, if you want to reblog an ask meme or two from me you totally can. I’d appreciate if you sent me one while you were at it, but it's not entirely necessary.

-That said, I'm not a meme source. If all you ever do is reblog memes, it's rather disheartening, so please at least say hi or something if you've reblogged a bunch of them, or just get them from the source.

-I’m extremely nonselective. OCs? Multiple versions of the same canon character? Multimuse blogs? Crossovers? I’ll take ‘em all! This also applies to writing style and length. I’ll generally try to match the length I’m given, but no promises.

-Any verses I have listed for the muses are just starting points. If you want to come up with a custom verse, or modify an existing one, just ask me.

-I will tag common triggers, where applicable, with tw [trigger]. (The brackets won’t be in the actual tag.) However, I am forgetful, so please just let me know if I forget one, or if you have any uncommon triggers, and I’ll go back and fix it. I don’t have any actual triggers to worry about, though I’m not a fan of spiders.

-I will update the Thread Tracker when I begin drafting or reply to a thread. If you've sent something and it hasn't been updated as drafting within 24 hours, feel free to send me a message and I'll fix it.

-I’m ok with threads taking a while, but I also don’t like having dead threads. If you want a thread dropped please tell me so I can archive it. If I haven’t received a reply or any sort of communication in a month (and you’re noticeably still active, and not listed as on hiatus) I will reach out to see if you received my reply and/or if you want the thread dropped. If I don’t get any sort of response, I will drop the thread. PLEASE NOTE: This doesn’t mean you have to reply within a month, especially if you’re busy, it just means I’ll be checking in with all my partners periodically to keep my anxiety at bay.

-I am open to resurrecting threads that have been dropped/archived, if requested by the original partner. I get it. Sometimes the muse runs away and comes back like a year later.

-I name all my threads so that anyone who wants or needs to block a specific storyline has an easy tag to block. Names and links to each thread can also be found in the Thread Tracker.

-I don’t do passwords, but if you want to let me know you read my rules, you can send me your favorite emoji or bad joke in the DMs.

-Other than that, I’m just here to write and have a good time. Don’t be an asshole, don’t godmod, and bear with me when I’m slow to update, and we’ll get on like a house on fire. Have fun!

#Rules #blog organization stuff

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pretty-well-funded · 5 years ago

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Hiya! Sorry this is a lot to ask but I’m new to this fanfiction world and the starker world too! I’m trying to navigate archiveofourown and I’m a little confused & was wondering if you could recommend some of the fandom’s all time best fics in your opinion? I don’t mind if they’re complete or not. I just really need some good content that I can stay up until 3 am reading. Thank u ! 🥰

Welcome! :D I’m not sure what’s confusing you about AO3 specifically - feel free to ask questions, if I don’t know, someone will. The fandom tags for this pairing *can* get a little confusing due to multiple movie!verses, comic!versess, etc.

but you asked about recs. my personal starker bookmarks aren’t very organized, so these are really random, in no order, and probably missing some of my faves. tried for long fics where I could, so you get 3am fixes ;) check warnings bc my tastes are um...adventurous.

And So We Spiral by DaScribbla was the first fic I read for this pairing - angsty from Tony’s pov, and the Accords continue to be a plot point

Baby Monitor Protocol by thugcorpseinc. Tony...watches things...he probably shouldn’t.

Your Best American Boy by peterparkers7evilexes takes place in a world where Mary and Richard never dies. Peter pops off at Tony like a little punk at an event and Tony teaches him a lesson. *cough*

Super Size Me by @starkerforlife6969 is an unfinished wip which I’m glad you said was ok, because holy fuck, what’s there is awesome. Tony adopts Peter and has...ideas and plans. I like to tag the author on this one when I rec it bc I hope and dream that some day, if I’m a very bad girl....

Practical Results by anon (who I know I follow but I can’t remember who tags their shit this way). Tony and Peter get abducted to Sakaar and made to perform for entertainment in a very different way than Thor and the Hulk. I love it when you get glimpses of their brilliance together, even though I rarely have the patience to write it.

Boiling Point by cagestark. alpha!Peter goes into rut and breaks down a bathroom door to get to omega!Tony.

Seiche by unsettled. alpha!Peter bonds omega!Tony under dubious circumstances. I really like the take on how emotion-sharing works through a bond - makes an old trope feel fresh.

Cigars and Other Things by Violette_Pleasures. very short. Peter catches Tony late at night in a tipsy, unguarded moment and things get slightly inappropriate. I literally need hundreds of thousands of words of this exact vibe.

Stopover by cagestark, in which Tony’s a hitman on the run from his employer, and Peter is a barista/prostitute. guh weapon porn, weirdly romantic, and a hint of WinterIronSpider.

I’m Selfish (I’m Obscene) by anon. Tony gets Peter drunk and takes his virginity in his sleep. yeah I’m ENJOYING the ride to hell, baby.

Reversal of Fortunes by von_gelmini, in which Peter fucks his father’s once-wealthy slave, who doesn’t humor him

Portal Problems by Arethereanydamnusernamesleft. Peter’s Tony rejects him - luckily the Tony from another universe comes around and has years of practice getting his Peter off.

Eight Minutes & sequel by thugcorpseinc. intern!Peter finds a business card in his pocket after delivering coffee to a board meeting

The Edge Of by red_crate. idek how to sum this one up. Peter makes a joke and it sorta breaks the last of Tony’s willpower.

You Can Ask Anything (of Me) by Airebellah. too, tragically short. Tony thinks intern!Peter is giving him a signal during an office Christmas party. the sexual harrassy edge to this really does it for me. I would give my non-existent left nut to see what happens in the back of the limo

Here by theMadStarker. Tony picks up an omega at a party who he thinks is “here with someone” as a neglected sugar baby...he is mistaken.

#Anonymous #my recs

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shroudedhero · 5 years ago

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Mobile Friendly Rules

Since I did it for Kurai’s info, here’s the rules (the updated ones)

THESE ARE JUST A FEW GENERAL THINGS I FEEL ARE IMPORTANT TO BE ADDRESSED BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER, SO PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ THEM.

I know they seem long but some of it is also just information I thought was important for you to know before interacting with me. NOTE: THERE IS A PASSWORD FOR THIS BLOG DUE TO SEVERAL PAST BAD EXPERIENCES WITH UNTAGGED TRIGGERS (and it is the ONLY reason I have a password. I won’t throw a fit if you don’t send it, but I do usually feel more comfortable if you do).

Also another small, but extremely important note beforehand: Due to my autism, I tend to try to be extra clear (but also sometimes manage to be less clear in the process), or in my head it is clear, but to other people, it comes across entirely differently, but I’ve been informed this makes my rules sometimes come across as more aggressive, exclusionary, or mean. So I will say this now. I am actually a MASSIVE fluffball. Quite literally. The tone they come across is mainly due to overexplaining however I have tried to edit them and have yet to find a way to redefine my rules in better wording that I am happy with and that feels like it covers everything while actually being properly clear (but whenever I finally think of the right wording, I usually update my rules). So just approach them with the knowledge I am actually legitimately a sweetheart and my brain just sucks at actually wording stuff.

If you followed me over here when I moved Kurai’s BNHA verse to this blog, I removed and edited a couple of rules so please read through them again.

- ★ First and most important thing is that the mun has a very serious cannibalism trigger, which includes ANY form of people being eaten (including animals or monsters or any such other creatures eating people). (Excluding vampires, as that doesn’t typically involve the eating of human flesh, and rather simply blood itself (I am COMPLETELY fine with blood and general dark and gorey things). Zombies however, are included). As such, please tag all SNK or Hannibal related posts with such things in them, even the ones without such scenes in them, due to the fact that these two shows/fandoms are the reason I learned I have this trigger, and so the entire thing now can cause my trigger due to association, and memory connection to it. Also I ask that you tag any other shows/fandoms/gifs with such things in them as well. Please and thank you very much. My blacklisted tags are: SNK, Shingeki No Kyojin, Attack On Titan, AoT, tokyo ghoul, tg, Hannibal, Cannibalism, tw: cannibalism, parasyte, tokyo ghoul, twd, the walking dead, walking dead, zombies, and hunting trophies. Any form of these (capitalization does not matter, however spaces do) will be caught by my blacklist, so I would appreciate it if you’d use one of these for those posts (though I am also happy to add other tags to it as well if you have a specific system you use already). Also suggestions for other possible blacklist tags that I may have forgotten are much appreciated. Also as an added note, I will not follow, RP with, or associate in ANY WAY, any blogs that have to do with my triggers. (Multi-muse blogs can sometimes be okay, this more applies to blogs that post SPECIFICALLY about the fandoms that trigger me). If you are a multi-muse blog that has characters from these fandoms, all I ask is that you be sure to tag them with the fandom they are from, with one of the tags in my list, and tag any of the triggers. We’ll be perfectly fine if you do! If you don’t, I may eventually unfollow, just to avoid seeing unintentionally triggering content.

- Secondly, I am open to RPing smut, (either aged up, or not, since whether we like it or not, teenagers do indeed end up doing it), however it likely will not happen much since this muse is underage, and will only happen if both myself and the other mun are okay with it and have agreed to it. (Again, chances are slim.) I do prefer however if our smut RPs are placed under a read more, if at all possible.

- ★ I am autistic. I know I don’t seem like it at first, and sometimes it’s hard to tell, however I am, and I also have ADHD, and it does affect the way my mind works with things. Sometimes having things done certain ways makes all the difference between if I can do something or if I can’t. If it sounds like I want to do something, but seem to struggle with figuring out how, please feel free to make suggestions, or start the thing yourself! It’s actually REALLY helpful when I get stuck. My being autistic can also affect who I can roleplay with, and how I roleplay, and how I think. Please keep this in mind, and try to be understanding. If something bothers you, or you don’t understand something, just ask me! I’ll do my best to explain, or fix it.

- Though it may not always seem like it, I am VERY shy and awkward. I’m actually legitimately terrified of new people, and trying to talk to people I haven’t spoken to before, or very much yet, almost makes me feel like I’m going to have a panic attack. If you want to RP with me, please message me! Chances are I’d LOVE to chat with you and RP with you, I’m just too terrified to talk to you.

- I struggle with chronic depression, and sometimes I may disappear for a while if I have a spell that gets particularly bad. Please be patient with me, as I will never forget about you and will always return. Also since it needs to be said, I also have EXTREME, doctor diagnosed anxiety. Sometimes it gets the better of me. Same with depression. Sometimes I have bad days. So I vent, and get frustrated with things. Little things bother me a lot more than they would on a normal day. If you can’t handle that or are going to be a hypocrite about it then please just leave right now. I don’t need your negativity. I have enough unwanted of that in my head as it is, which I combat and fight against every day.

- I am a multiship/multiverse blog, however my muse will be very selective with shipping for the time being however I am still happy to discuss ships and will happily consider them. Also a note, that I will ship with multiples of the same character, if the mun of those blogs wishes to ship with me. I find each relationship is different, seeing as each mun plays their character a little differently.

- I will do crossovers sometimes with fandoms I am familiar with. Crossovers always depend on my mood and how well my muse can interact with a character, as well as how well I know the series the character is from. Please forgive me if I choose not to roleplay a specific crossover. I still like you, I promise. If you’re unsure if I know your fandom, just ask! I do know of a lot of fandoms, so there’s a good chance I might.

- I ship based on chemistry. Sometimes I can develop a ship quickly, especially if I know the other muse’s personality well, and know they will mesh well with mine. Other times, a ship takes time for me to develop. Please be understanding and patient with me on this.

- Do NOT under any circumstances, force a ship on me. I am usually quite good at expressing ships I am okay with, and it will usually show in my writing. If you are unsure if I ship something or not, feel free to send me a message and ask me. Most of my characters have their own way of showing interest in someone, however most are usually pretty clear in expressing it in some way. Sending memes for interaction is fine for anyone whether we have interacted or not, and I will usually reply to those, however do not force a ship on me outside of that. If one develops between our characters, then fine. However that is a MUTUAL thing, so I do not take kindly to someone just deciding something is a thing. If you want to try to build one between our characters, then go ahead. Just please show me respect. That is the biggest and most important thing with me, is respect.

- I will write anything from 1 liners to multi-paragraphs when I RP. I usually stick to 1 or two shortish paragraphs, and that tends to fluctuate or shrink depending on how much information is needed to describe a scene. If we start out with a shorter paragraph, and I make a reply a fair bit longer, I will likely revert back to the shorter paragraph again within 1 or 2 replies. However you are welcome to write however you wish, just as long as you can give me something to go on. (A one liner in response to a 10 line paragraph for example, I will struggle to reply to.)

- I do not tolerate anon hate of any kind. Not towards myself, nor towards others. I will respond to it in a way that will make the sender feel rather like an idiot, and I am very smart and capable of doing so, so please be advised of that, if you intend to do so.

- I will RP more violent NSFW RPs, and other dark topics (I absolutely LOVE angst), however ONLY as long as I am in the mood for them. The mun of this blog is (well) over 18. Everything though that might be triggering, will be tagged, and if there is something that you need me to tag, or if I forget to tag something, please feel free to tell me. Just try to do so right away or else I can forget which RPs or replies to tag depending how long it goes since I posted it. My memory is pretty fickle with what it chooses to remember without some nudging.

- ★ I am better at roleplaying ships with males (BoyxBoy/Yaoi/etc), due to being more familiar with it and having more experience with it ((as I myself am very very very gay, and also trans (which is where the issues with writing about female parts makes me very uncomfortable comes from) )). I may however attempt to ship romantically with female characters, but please keep in mind it is something I am not as good at or as comfortable with, so if in the end, I decide I am unable to do so, please be understanding of this. (Especially if smut is included in the ship. I cannot smut with female characters, sorry.)

- I am slightly fickle about things I can reply to. I try very hard to reply to everything, however one thing I am not good at, is sudden changes in roleplays. As much as I hate to admit it, and try to pretend it isn’t true, and even though I am quite good at managing it most times, I am autistic, (high functioning form of autism) and that is one of the few issues I struggle with the most. If you sense a roleplay is changing directions, please hint at it to me in the tags or something the reply before it does, since even that small little hint can be enough to help keep me from having to drop an RP. Even if you are unsure if it will or not, letting me know that you think it MIGHT possibly happen (since we don’t control our characters) is a huge help to me. This particular issue is the main reason that 95% of my dropped threads end up dropped. And I always feel terrible when it happens, so please help me to get better at this.

- I can be slow sometimes (or often) with asks or replies. This usually happens because of my muse being fickle or me thinking a meme or ask prompt would be fun, however sometimes when I actually get them, my muse decides to just be like NOPE. Also sometimes I tend to forget things, or leave stuff in my askbox to reply to later, and then I forget about it or get distracted. If this happens, I apologize. Please try to be understanding of this, since I will NEVER ignore you or your asks on purpose. (The only case where it would be ignored is if it is something stated in my rules that I cannot respond to, that you obviously failed to read or are attempting to do anyway.) I do reblog things with the INTENT to answer EVERYTHING that shows up in my inbox, however my intentions don’t always pan out.

- I do not do the reblog from the source thing (not consistently anyway). I used to try to do it every single time (if I notice it), though now, I am sorry but I have had so many anxiety attacks due to my attention span which I cannot help due to having ADHD, and accidentally reblogging memes and such from someone who has that rule without even realizing it as I am scrolling down the dash because I don’t even realize who reblogged the meme, and then panicking because I realize it later, or get yelled at over it. I follow at least like 30+ meme blogs and the majority of memes on my dash tend to be from the source, so sometimes I don’t notice! Roleplay for me needs to remain stress free, because stress can trigger a major/serious depression spell and as of recently I FINALLY am stable emotionally. So please forgive me if I don’t bother with it. Because I probably won’t do it (consistently anyway).

Next topic of discussion.

Concerning OCs and shipping with them (Please see this post for some further clarification on this, since this is the part that I have the most issue with making clear, though I really do try):

- I am in fact OC supportive! Though when it comes to RPing with them, I can be extremely picky, and cautious. This has nothing to do with whether your OC is great or well developed or not. My brain annoyingly happens to have trouble connecting to a lot of characters, both OC and canon, but it just seems to be more common with other people’s OCs. HOWEVER, just because I might not RP with your OC, doesn’t mean I won’t secretly stalk them from the dash and read your interactions because I think they’re amazing.

- I WILL NOT ship my muses with other OCs, unless they are extremely well developed. This is simply because unless I personally can form some form of an an emotional connection/understanding to/of a character, my own muse will be unable to do so as well. (This can also apply to canon characters as well, so it is not simply limited to OCs).

- I am also very picky with RPing with other OCs, because of the same reason stated above. I will however roleplay with them sometimes, and do not in any way dislike them. I rather love OCs, and the diversity and color they bring to fandoms, and I actually have lots of OCs of my own for different fandoms, I just cannot always connect to them, and in those cases, I will not be able to roleplay with them. I apologize. HOWEVER. If possible, I will happily do platonic RPs with OCs that my muses happen to click with.

The types of characters/OCs I am usually unable to roleplay with, are the following, which includes a list of reasons why:

- ★ OCs that are not connected to any fandom in particular/Multifandom OCs. Basically as I like to call them, floaters or drifters. I may attempt to roleplay with these. It can still be iffy, because my brain can sometimes make stuff more difficult than it actually is or needs to be, and it depends on each particular OC, but as I have recently been developing a fandomless OC myself, I find my understanding of them has grown a bit. That said, sometimes I need to be able to connect them with something, as each fandom has a specific world to them. I need a consistent, solid world anchor to be able to understand the character, which drifters don’t have, so I can struggle to RP with them. I’m willing to try though!

- OCs from fandoms I am unfamiliar with. If I don’t know what sort of world/background your character comes from, it leaves me guessing too much and confused. I have attempted to roleplay with them anyway in the past and it just doesn’t work.

- OCs with very little backstory and information, or with a confusing one, or even with none at all. In essence, poorly made OCs. I need info to RP with you. At least seriously. So sorry. I need to be able to understand your character at least a little, since I don’t do good with “lets play a guessing game” or “I literally have no idea what I’m doing” or “what the hell is going on” sort of RPs, and I have never been good at them, and so I need clear, concise information on your character.

- Canonically (or noncanon since this is an OC as well) unknown family member OCs. Whether it’s a sibling for my character or for someone else’s that was never mentioned in canon, I just can’t. (If you want to RP a family member of my character that I have mentioned in my character’s info, please ask me beforehand as I usually have an idea already of what their family member is like, but usually I will be okay with that as long as you ask me first before just going ahead and doing it.) I’ve never been able to RP with them, for a multitude of reasons, one of the main being they often end up reminding me of the bad version of self inserts or genderbends. I have been unsuccessful at breaking this way of thinking towards them despite attempting to many times, and so I just cannot do it, personally. I am sorry.

Important reminder: Please note that I suck at explaining this somewhat, and just because my brain struggles with roleplaying with certain characters does not mean I dislike your muse or think they suck! I can think your OC is absolutely AMAZING and they can be SUPER well written and developed and I can want to interact but my brain is just dumb and if I try to my brain just refuses. These SAME issues can happen with canon characters too, I have simply noticed it more with other OCs, thus the specific section for them.

Those are all the ones I can think of right now. I am very sorry to anyone who has one of these and wants to RP with me, however I simply cannot do it, personally. I’m sure there are plenty of other people out there though who would love to RP with you even though I cannot, and just because I will not RP with you doesn’t mean I dislike you or your character. I’d be happy to still be friends with you, I just won’t be able to RP with you. I’m someone who needs to be able to connect to the character I am roleplaying with on at least SOME level, for my character to be able to connect to them as well, so if I am unable to do that then I am unable to roleplay with them. (This can include as well, the WAY someone roleplays, since if there is no emotion or thought or description in replies, it gives me nothing to go on and connect to, and leaves me unable to respond, even if I WANT to RP with you.)

★ I hate to have to do this (and I never used to have a password), however I have had A LOT of trouble with people not reading and following my rules in the past, and or speaking about or talking about/not tagging my major trigger, so if you have read my rules, please inbox me with “Catshark” (I prefer Inbox over IMs for the password so I can keep track forever of who sent it in). I ask this of people because it also helps a lot with my anxiety, and keeps me from wondering and worrying in the back of my mind if I might actually get triggered by something. I know it can be tedious to do this extra step, and I hate that I even had to add this step in the first place, however after years of roleplaying, and dealing with people, it became necessary due to several bad past experiences in tumblr fandoms. It was not added on a whim, so please take the time to do so. Also, I do understand that you probably follow a hundred blogs that all have their own rules, so if you forget stuff, that’s okay! I do it too. The password is just so I know it is safe for me to approach you and remind you of something if you do forget. Otherwise, I tend to sit here and kind of panic about if I can mention something to you (it has happened before that someone who didn’t send it in and came across friendly bit my head off when I asked them to tag something), and it means I am more likely to unfollow or stop interacting, or even block you eventually due to my anxiety. And I don’t want that to happen over a silly misunderstanding.

There may be more added to this later if I think of something. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

#Mobile friendly info #mobile friendly #Rules

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veliseraptor · 6 years ago

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fic rec meme: 2019 edition

Rules: Post links (Ao3, ff.net, etc.); specify fandom/pairing/etc; don’t answer the same fic twice - spread the appreciation; tag other people; you don’t have to answer all the questions, but leave them in the list so the next person can answer if they want.

I was tagged by I think a couple people - @aphrodaisyacs and @aninfinitenumberofmonkeys. I’m going to try to keep this pretty short because I have a tendency to go on and then not finish these kinds of things because I overwhelm myself.

I also cheated a bit on a few (a lot) of these because I read a lot of really good fic this year. And tried to include some recs I haven’t seen from others in my circle/fics I don’t see recced that often (though that’s not true of all of them).

I also shuffled things around so I didn’t repeat them, though a lot of these could be included in more than one category.

1. Favourite complete fic you’ve read this month (multiple chapters/parts): I did not read a single complete multichapter fic this month. Meant to, but didn’t do it.

2. Favourite complete fic you’ve read this month (one-shot): The mirror has a mirror in its teeth by deadendtracks. Peaky Blinders, Tommy/Lizzie, messy as hell in the way that I love.

3. Favourite WIP you’ve read this month: But I’ve read so many good WIPs this month. I’ll go with Contraction by NamelessDragon, MCU, Loki/Bucky, sequel to Compression (also amazing), which I’m finally catching up on after being stuck on reading almost everything for months.

4. One fic/series you’ve read which you keep coming back to again and again: (those yesterdays bleeding through by wnnbdarklord (MCU, time loop set during The Dark World) comes to mind, as, of course, does Bargaining by proantagonist (alas! for its vanishing), but to pick one that kept coming up this year I’m going to have to go with the nine in the tree by bereft_of_frogs, MCU, Thor & Loki-centric, post-Ragnarok AU.

5. Most underrated fic you’ve read this year: It feels like cheating to do this for a small book fandom, but you know what? My small book fandoms deserve more love. Based on lowest kudos I’m going to go with that he on dry land loveliest liveth by skyvehicle, Lymond Chronicles, post-Pawn in Frankincense.

6. Most underrated fic you’ve read EVER: God, I don’t know. Again, it would be a small book fandom. You know? Because it deserves it and I love it and it probably is the most underrated fic, if only because it’s in a tiny fandom - In Memoriam by Tedronai, Malazan: Book of the Fallen, I love grief/mourning fic.

7. Favourite whump/angst fic of the year: This was tough since this is the genre I read most of in general, but because I managed to get a lot of fics on here via other categories, I’m choosing Into the earth I trampled it down by deadendtracks, Peaky Blinders, grief/mourning featuring Polly and Tommy. This fic was ouch all around, and beautifully written, and excellently characterized, and just...well, I’m clearly going to be reading everything that deadendtracks writes from here on out.

But I’m also going to slide In Cold Blood by NamelessDragon (MCU, Loki & Bucky, canon divergence AU) on here too, because it just updated and it really is fantastic, and I am so excited for more. It has all my favorite tropes written all over it, and promises some truly excellent whump based on the writer’s history.

8. Favourite hurt/comfort fic of the year: Again, a category with a lot of faves, but I settled on Walked In These Quiet Hazes by ratsats, MCU, AU where Loki comes back from the dead and is majorly fucked up, as is most everyone else. It’s rough, and it’s beautiful. And calling it “hurt/comfort” is probably...well, it takes a while to get to the comfort, I can say that, but it’s worth it.

9. Favourite fluff fic of the year: Did I. Did I read any fluff this year? I suppose some of the Good Omens fic I read probably qualifies, though it doesn’t feel like fluff to me so much as...comedy? Wait, I’ve got one: Love Wounds Me With Soft Pillows by verbaepuchellae, Lymond Chronicles, Francis/Philippa, post-Checkmate.

Oh yes, after I wrote this I found another one: such surpassing brightness by Handful_of_Silence, Good Omens, Crowley/Aziraphale. Beautifully inventive, and fits into a very specific genre I can’t get enough of.

11. Favourite smut fic of the year: Shockingly, I didn’t read a lot of smut this year. I’m going to go with The Beast That Chose It’s Own Bridle by thespectaclesofthor, Doctrine of Labyrinths, Felix/Murtagh, post-series, (less than) kink negotiation, WIP.

Oh, and also Chains of Gold by Anonymous, Lymond Chronicles, Lymond/Gabriel, hoo boy. My glorious Lymond/Gabriel fic I received for Yuletide. I can’t wait to find out who wrote it so I can lie down on their doorstep and beg for them to write more like this.

10. Favourite gen fic of the year: The Thanos Problem by Ranowa, MCU, post-Ragnarok AU. Okay, this is technically a series, so sue me. I especially liked When the Hammer Falls.

12. Favourite fix-it fic of the year/ever: This might be the hardest one. I read a lot of fix-it fic this year. I wonder why. I’m going with “the year” because otherwise it is just far too overwhelming and I couldn’t choose.

After a lot of debate with myself, and by eliminating other fic by virtue of sliding it into other categories, I settled on two: the only soul I’ve ever saved by valkyrisms, MCU, Loki survives Infinity War fix-it. I overall got pretty quickly annoyed with the genre of Loki-and-Peter Parker fics, but this one was just...so good. The Peter voice was amazing, the working with Loki’s Jotun biology as part of the whump was inspired, it was well written as all of valkyrisms work is, and just...so good.

The other (I told you I was cheating!) is Keep It In Your Sights Now by LuckyDiceKirby, Shades of Magic, Lila/Kell/Holland, fix-it fic. I needed this fic in two ways - the threesome it involves, and the fix-it it involves. Delivered on both.

13. Favourite crack-fic fic of the year: I really don’t read crack-fic anymore.

14. Favourite sick-fic this year: Castaway by ariaadagio, Lucifer, Chloe/Lucifer, is me cheating again because “sick-fic” it is only loosely, but I want to include it because it was very good. Though I think technically I reread it this year. Apparently I didn’t read much sick-fic? Weird.

15. Favourite kid-fic this year: Another thing I don’t read very often, and apparently this year (at least based on my bookmarks) don’t have a rec for.

15. Fic this year which you didn’t expect to love as much as you do: Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm, Good Omens, therapy fic. Okay, so, in premise and everything this did have “me” written all over it. But I certainly didn’t expect to find it, and I definitely didn’t expect it to be as good as it was, right down to making me love an OC (which is rare).

16. Fic which convinced you to ship a pairing: This is cheating because technically it was another fic on this list, but since I wouldn’t ship it without it I’m going to rec As much what it is as what it’s not by deadendtracks, Peaky Blinders, Tommy/Lizzie.

17. Favourite AU you’ve read this year: I slid some of my fix-it fics over here, because canon divergence AUs are my jam and maybe that wasn’t the intent of this question but I don’t care.

After some debate with myself, and rereading several favorites, I’m settling on my fearful trip is done by valkyrisms, MCU, the one where Steve runs into an unexpected child of Thanos in Wakanda. It’s real good, you guys. And yes, this does mean that I’ve put two valkyrisms fics on this list and I’m not sorry.

18. Longest fic/series you’ve read this year: This one’s easy! Eden!verse by ImprobableDreams900, Good Omens, Crowley/Aziraphale, the first fic in the series made me cry more than anything I’ve read in years.

19. The last fic you’ve read: The last new fic I read, since I reread a bunch of new things on this list while I was sorting through what I was going to choose, was to prove they are not dead by alreadybroken.

20. Wildcard fic you haven’t mentioned but deserves a shout-out + why: I waffled back and forth between two fics and what the hell, you know what, I’m going with both. The first is Miles to Go by josiepug, Peaky Blinders, which satisfied my desperate Tommy whump itch (for a time, it’s back now); the second is Where Is the Power That Made Your Pride? by Drag0nst0rm, The Silmarillion, aka the one where Celegorm lives and things are still bad. Not an AU I knew I wanted, but I guess I’m not surprised.

Bonus Category:

Best horror fic: dark underground//violent sky by bereft_of_frogs, MCU, I can’t tell you more than that because it would spoil it. I love horror fic and I have missed it since leaving Supernatural fandom. This one scratched that itch and I’m still thinking about it. Maybe it’s time for a reread.

As usual, I’m sure I’ve missed/forgotten some faves. I always do.

I...lord, I feel like most of the people I’d usually tag have already been tagged for this? If you’re a mutual of mine and you haven’t been, go for it! I’m always excited to see more recs.

#long post for ts #fic rec #meme

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littleoldrachel · 5 years ago

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i am burned out (i smell of smoke) - part three

you are all TOO NICE TO ME i can’t cope with how kind you are!!!

here is part three!

(i'm having a pretty hard time with my own bad brain at the moment so pls don't hate me for the typos, etc. i will fix them when my brain is less yoghurty, pls forgive me)

good news: the next chapter will only be a bit more angst and then it's all comfort from there on out i PROMISE he's gonna be okay <3

i am burned out (i smell of smoke) [on ao3]

summary: in which virgil falls apart, learns how to put himself back together, and realises he doesn’t have to do it alone.

word count: 6.7k ish ( part 1/5 | part 2/5 | part 3/5)

warnings: mental health issues - look so there is some pretty intense mental health stuff in here so please. go careful. also trigger warnings for some super brief suicidal ideation. you are loved and i am here if you need a reminder of that <3

timeline: i suppose this is set in early TAG verse? jeff is missing and nobody is Coping Well.

happy belated birthday, nutty!! <3

iii.

The days that follow are an enigma.

Later, in therapy, he'll struggle to remember a single detail. There is simply a gap that promises pain should he poke it too hard, and he will shy away from reliving a single minute of it.

At the time though…

It’s a waterfall of suffering; he is cascading down, down, down, and every time he grabs a hold, his hand slips on smooth rock and agonising memories. Relentless misery beats down on him until he stops even trying to raise his head, because it is always stronger than him. Hitting the bottom, he is submerged, unable to distinguish the surface from the floor because of the murky grey all around him, and he can’t breathe down here, he’s alone down here, he’s going to die down here.

So. The days that follow feel a lot like drowning - and Virgil would know.

He can’t breathe and his limbs are too heavy and everything is muted, grey, useless, but himself most of all. He cannot feel much of anything at all beneath this crushing despair, but he knows that he is utterly sick of himself, beyond exhausted of feeling so terrible, desperate for a way out but unable to communicate this to his family.

He spends a lot of time thinking about his parents. Not a day goes by where he doesn’t remember them, but it’s usually memories of their lives, rather than grisly and traumatic thoughts of their deaths. But now, he can’t seem to stop himself from fixating on the way his mother turned the snow around her berry-red as she first stopped shaking, then speaking, then breathing. Nor how his father’s final moments must have been elation-turned-fear, how the heat of the flames must have engulfed him all at once, if there was any relief that he would once more be with Lucy -

He never allows himself to think these thoughts. They're too upsetting, too raw, too painful.

But now, he is powerless to stop them.

On the fifth day of this new low - though it is fast becoming Virgil’s norm and that terrifies him - the klaxon sounds and Virgil can barely drag himself to the lounge. He does so anyway, arriving in time to see Gordon disappearing down his chute. Scott casts a glance in his direction as he makes his own way to his ship, concern blossoming at the sight of Virgil’s blank eyes.

“Go to bed, Virg, you look rough.”

(Virgil doesn’t argue, which only tightens the knot of worry in Scott’s stomach, but he shoves it aside in favour of the rescue).

Virgil returns to bed, avoiding all reflective surfaces he can. He knows how terrible he looks and he cannot stand the sight of himself, but he also can’t seem to bring himself to get in the fucking shower.

He’s disgusted with himself - it’s no wonder Scott didn’t want him on the rescue.

Or any rescues, apparently.

“You’re sick, Virg,” Scott begins, when he arrives home late that night to find his younger brother hasn’t moved from his bed.

Virgil protests (hardly, weakly), though he can’t find the conviction for the words. It’s like he’s going through the motions of a well-rehearsed play. “I’m not sick. I’m fine to fly.”

“Abso-fucking-lutely not.”

Virgil sighs, rolling away from his brother and that horrible mounting worry.

“You see, the fact you didn’t call me out on that language tells me just how horrible you must be feeling. I mean it, Virg. Grounded until you’re recovered. And I want you to have a medical first thing!”

It doesn’t feel like there’s any recovering from this sickness.

Not having the distraction of rescues is punishment enough, but worse is the knowledge that Gordon keeps falling asleep over breakfast because Virgil can’t pull his fucking weight. He feels completely fucking useless - is being completely fucking useless - and yet, he still can’t bring himself to get out of bed. His brothers parrot concerned, loving questions he can’t answer and show him a kindness he certainly doesn’t deserve, and Virgil -

Virgil is a paradox: on the one hand, he is too empty to feel a single damned thing, no matter how much he wants to cry, no matter how hard he tries to put a label on these experiences, there is nothing there and therefore he is nothing. But on the other hand, Virgil is overflowing with raw, live misery so heavy he can’t take a full breath and so awful he stops caring about the fact.

He’s not okay.

He doesn’t know what’s wrong and he doesn’t know why, but he’s so far from okay, it’s laughable.

Only, he hasn’t laughed in weeks, and Gordon has stopped trying to make him.

That realisation burrows into his heart, a sharp nasty sting of guilt and loneliness. He misses his brothers and he knows it’s his fault that they’re withdrawing - isolating yourself from them will do that - but it hurts all the same.

It hurts because when Scott had started to count on neat whiskey to get him through the day, Virgil had dug his heels in and refused to let it be so. It hurts because when John had been relying on study drugs and no sleep to get through his PhD, it was Virgil who refused to let him hide away in shame. It hurts because Virgil has been there for more of Gordon’s panic attacks than he wants to remember, and yet he remembers them all the same. It hurts because Alan is too young to have lost so much, but Virgil refuses to let him shoulder that alone.

Virgil loves his brothers with every single drop of Tracy blood in his veins, and he isn't afraid to show it by any means necessary.

But he's so, so tired.

Not of loving them - never that - but there's something so lonely and sad about this feeling and he’s exhausted by it and terrified of it and it all just hurts.

“There’s nothing wrong with him,” says John hesitantly, and Scott looks sharply at his younger brother across their father’s desk. “Don’t try and tell me this is fine, John,”

"I know it's not fine," snaps John, “but I’m telling you that physically, he’s fine. A few bruises, but nothing some rest won’t fix.”

Scott begins to pace, frustration thrumming through his body. “He’s not eating properly,” He runs his hand through prematurely greying hairs in a motion learned from his father. “He’s just not Virgil.”

“I know.”

“I haven’t seen him paint or play piano in weeks, hell he isn’t even trying to get me to talk about my feelings. He’s alone all the time, constantly tired...”

“I know.”

“I just - are you sure? Nothing cracked at all? No signs of-”

“I had Brains run three separate scans, Scott. I’ve checked the results myself.”

“Could it be a concussion of some kind? He took a pretty big beating in Gen-”

“Scott. For God’s sake, listen. Physically, he’s fine.”

Scott stares at him, wishing not for the first time that the cogs of his brain moved at the same velocity as John’s. “Physically… so you’re saying this isn’t a physical thing?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

Scott swallows - this is okay, unexpected, but he can recalibrate and work out what it is that Virgil needs, this is fine. “So it’s a mental thing.”

John smiles in spite of the gravity of the situation. “I don’t think that’s the correct term, but yes, I believe so.”

“What specifically?”

“I’m not a doctor, Scott. Virg’s the one with medical training.”

“Yes, but he’s not telling us anything.” Scott stares at John, fear clawing at his throat, at the thought of his brother - his best friend - hurting so much and yet seemingly unable to voice it. “What do I -” his voice cracks and he clears his throat hurriedly. “What do I do?”

“This isn’t all on you, Scott,” John says, his turn to be sharp now. “He’s my brother too.”

Scott takes a deep breath; the weight of his one thousand responsibilities have never felt so heavy on his shoulders, and yet, they may as well be feathers for how unimportant they are compared to this bombshell. But. John’s eyes reflect his own concern, but there’s a determination in the set of his jaw Scott has come to rely upon - his younger brother has never met a problem he couldn’t solve.

“Fine. What do we do?”

“I… I’m working on it.”

“John. This isn’t all on you.”

“Yeah yeah, Kettle.” John rubs his eyes. “EOS and I are researching. There’s a lot out there and because he won’t tell us how he feels, I don’t - I don’t know if we should get him a therapist like Gordon had or meds like me or… I don’t know what. And our lives aren’t exactly normal, so it’s hard to say what will actually help.”

EOS pipes up, her lights dancing somewhere between turquoise and green (Virgil would know what to call that): “The recurring theme across research is ‘being there’ for the patient. A strange concept since humans are so limited by their physical forms.”

John smiles again, but it’s strained. “I’ll explain later, EOS. But it’s like how Virgil always checks in with me after a bad day.”

The words bring a lump to Scott’s throat that he can’t explain.

“I see. So, you need to ‘check in’ with him now?” EOS asks.

“Something like that.” John catches Scott’s eye again. “Normalcy is also good. Being active.”

“So I shouldn’t ground him?” Scott says, though the thought of Virgil piloting his ship in a poor mental state terrifies him. He’s not afraid of his brother’s skill - that has never been in question - but how is he supposed to protect him from something none of them can even see?

“I don’t know.” John says it like it’s physically painful - perhaps it is, John is always loathe to admit lack of knowledge on a topic. “Maybe not? Though I don’t want him flying a ship if he’s feeling like, well -”

Scott slumps back into his father’s chair - his chair now. “Exactly. I don’t know what to do, John.”

“Me neither.” Uttered quietly. Helplessly.

Scott hates this.

Silence stretches between them - uncomfortable, worried tension that neither of them know how to handle.

Eventually, John sighs, “I should go, Scott. Duty calls and all that.”

“John…” His brother pauses in reaching to cut the commline. “You - he’d tell us if he was feeling really bad, right? This is Virgil we’re talking about. He loves all that feelings stuff.”

“Yeah. Yes.”

But John’s voice is laced with an uncertainty that curdles the worry in Scott’s stomach.

Virgil's not sure exactly how long it's been but it must be weeks and he's losing his fucking mind.

Every day is the same and it’s all one neverending nightmare.

With the morning birdsong, he locks himself in his rooms and sleeps - or at least tries to, because it doesn't count as sleep when he wakes even more tired. He rejects his brothers' concern and ignores the trays of food Grandma has taken to leaving outside his door.

Where he's able to, Virgil still attempts to check in with them all after difficult rescues, still tries to fulfill his role as resident caregiver, but it's becoming increasingly hard to field their nagging questions.

He almost caves, when Alan slopes into his room and practically begs him to tell them what's wrong. His brother's wide blue eyes are a weapon all of their own, and it takes all of Virgil's resolve to shrug his worries off. He steeps in self-loathing for hours at the hurt in Alan's eyes.

Virgil doesn't understand why it's so hard to say the words out loud. For someone who has always championed self care and mental well-being, this inability to communicate his own suffering is as unexpected as it is unmanageable. He doesn't know where it's come from, nor how he's going to fix it; all he knows is that he cannot bear Scott's judgement, John's worry, Gordon's probing, Alan's disappointment -

It's too much.

It's all too much.

And he despises himself for that.

He endures John’s insistence he has a physical - and a second and third when the results are inevitably fine. He allows Scott’s anxious hovering as he answers Brains’ questions without complaint - another wrinkle to add to his brother’s worry lines, but he doesn’t have the energy to fight it.

For some reason, the medical proof that he is, in fact, fine, is damning. At least if there were some physical cause for his current state, he thinks it would be easier to bear (easier rather than fine, because he’s Virgil goddamn Tracy with a mile-wide stubborn streak) but instead he’s just falling apart with a single good reason.

(He hates himself for it).

Scott watches his brother brush past his piano like he doesn’t even notice it’s there, flinch from the sunlight like it burns him, grow skinnier and more hunched beneath those tatty plaid shirts, and his heart aches.

If their positions were reversed, Virgil would know what to do. Virgil knows Scott better than he knows himself, would have probably been able to resolve this before it even started.

But Scott isn’t Virgil - he cannot untangle emotions and comfort weary souls like his brother can.

He doesn’t know what to do with this shell of a man.

Scott spends what little time he has researching, learning, planning, but nothing he tries seems to help at all. Each time he broaches the topic of having someone to talk to with Virgil, his brother simply shuts down. He whines and begs Virgil to play him something but Virgil just sits before the piano, working on muscle memory alone. He stares at the medical reports until they blur and fade into restless sleep.

But he loves his brother just as fiercely as Virgil does him, and so it’s in sheer desperation that he tells John Virgil is back on duty. His brother blinks, schools surprise into an unreadable calm, and Scott feels the need to justify himself.

“I just - maybe giving him a sense of purpose will help. Some structure back, you know?”

“Sure, Scott,” John says, though his tone is anything but.

Scott’s announcement that he’s back on duty is a surprise to Virgil. His brother goes from you're not flying Two again until you're fit to, and you're not fit to until you goddamn talk to me to we need Two, now, Virg practically overnight. Alan and Gordon exchange similar looks of confusion, and Virgil is doubly aware of what a burden he has been to them all.

In Scott’s defense, they do need Two - and all of the ‘Birds to be honest.

Virgil pushes through the foggy exhaustion that has become his waking state, and drops into his chute like he’s never been gone. By the time he’s adjusting his uniform, the fog has cleared a little, and when he’s settled in the pilot’s chair - his chair - he feels better than he has in weeks. Gordon flops down beside him, feet somehow already propped on the dash, and Virgil shoves them off automatically.

He feels alive.

Rescues help. For all the pressure and pain they bring, rescues give him a purpose. Even though rescues drove him to - no. Virgil doesn’t want to think about that now. All he knows is that without rescues - well. Actually, Virgil doesn't want to think about that option either.

It’s been a while since he’s flown his ‘Bird, but she’s the same reliable dream she always is (a little worse for wear in her left thruster perhaps, from Gordon’s overeager antics, but nothing some tinkering won’t fix later. The fact that he is even interested in tinkering speaks volumes). The thrum of Two’s engines is practically medicinal and he revels in being able to breathe freely, think clearly - it’s been so, so long.

The journey to the rescue zone is quiet, updates from John and occasional witticisms from Gordon are background noise to the beloved sound of Two responding to his lightest touch. Alan and Scott - speed junkies till they die - are far enough ahead of them that Virgil and Gordon exchange their usual eye rolling at Alan’s antics (“and the youngest Tracy takes the lead, a swift manoeuvre from Mr Alan Tracy proving once and for all that he is the true champ- hey, that’s not fair-“) and for a minute, it’s like none of the last few weeks had happened.

Gordon bounces out of his seat as they begin their descent, practically vibrating with adrenaline as he dashes to his own ‘Bird. Virgil drops Pod 4 with a grin at Gordon’s whoop, catches a glimpse of sunshine yellow cutting through murky water, before sweeping round into landing beside Alan’s rocket.

In spite of the carnage around the Thunderbirds, Virgil feels the adrenaline stirring in his own chest, because finally, something he knows how to do, how to help, how to fix.

It's an earthquake, the second one in this area in as many months. The hastily-reconstructed housing never stood a chance against tremors that tickled six on the Richter scale. In places the ground has cracked in two, dark zigzagging lines snaking across the desolate landscape. Piles of rubble, pools of dirty water, clouds of dust, and among them, people staggering hopelessly through the remnants of their houses.

Families who have already lost everything are once again homeless. Virgil’s heart aches at the injustice of it all.

International Rescue's task is simple, in theory. Virgil and Alan are to get the survivors out from the rubble nearest the epicentre, whilst Gordon takes Four up to the dam and assesses the damage done to the wall’s defences. Scott will be assisting with rescues from the sinkhole on the edge of the town - the result of overtaxing the land and the force of nature. And John, of course, as their ever-seeing eye in the sky. Simple.

As simple as it can be when you’re surrounded by desperate people and their frantic hopes that you’ll save their loved ones. A quick word with Alan and Virgil dons his exo-suit, grimacing a little at the familiar weight of the Jaws of Life on his limbs. He’s reluctant to use the Mole given that it is likely bodies will be distributed at different depths in the wreckage - and Jesus, what a bleak thought that is.

Alan begins tackling the top layers of rubble, using a combination of grappling hooks and jet blasters to clear the smaller chunks of rock, wood and dust from the area. Watching Alan work so efficiently and professionally sends a jolt of pride through Virgil’s chest; in many ways, Alan is and always will be their baby brother, but at times like this, it’s impossible to deny the man he is becoming.

Whilst Gordon is Virgil’s usual partner on rescues, Alan is equally capable and hard-working, and between them and John’s careful scans, they begin locating some of the missing. Something loosens in Virgil’s chest at the sight of the first dust-streaked hand reaching towards them through the rocks - bruised, filthy, but unmistakably alive. As much as he tries to avoid superstition on rescues, beginning with a corpse is never a good omen.

(Of course, this isn’t to say they don’t find bodies. A mother wrapped around her child, body misshapen from the weight of the rocks. An unrecognisable man, head bashed to a pulp - Virgil sends Alan to get some water at that point, nausea making them both shaky).

As is always the way, human kindness prevails, and soon the local people are involved in the rescue efforts. Virgil knows from experience that it’s best not to fight it, but he asks in a broken attempt at their language (that John then delivers flawlessly) that they stay away from the more dangerous sites.

As if it’s not all one big danger site.

Still. He’s busy and sweating and focused, and there is no time for self-loathing or guilt in his head at the moment. His arms are aching a couple of hours in, but he keeps going - has to keep going - because there are more people who need him and he needs this. It feels like it takes an age to clear just the stretch of what was once a row of houses, but once they have, Alan and Virgil barely stop for a rest before moving to the next place they are needed.

Virgil forces Alan to eat an energy bar, watching closely despite Alan’s glares to ensure it all goes down, but can’t bring himself to have more than a few bites of his own.

Eventually, God knows how many hours later but late enough that there is but a slither of sun left on the horizon, John’s murmurs of heartbeats in the rubble grow further and further apart, and the number of bodies only continues to rise. Things deteriorate further with the aftershocks that rip through the land and Virgil clings to the person he’s in the middle of rescuing, willing them not to slip from his shaking grip.

(He manages, just, though they have gone ragdoll limp by the time the earth resettles).

(But he keeps going).

Gordon has come to join them, tired but satisfied that reinforcements are in place, and Virgil smiles like it’s normal for him, claps him on the shoulder. “Good job, Gords.”

The grin he gets in return is a little bemused but bright and Virgil feels alive.

The sky is velvety black now, tiny pinpricks of silver piercing it, and up there, one of those lights is his brother. Even with Two’s floodlighting, Virgil has to squint now to see what he’s shifting, his arms are leaden, and his head aches with dehydration. The end is in sight though; as brutal as it is to admit it from this point on, they will mainly be pulling bodies, and despite Scott’s insistence that International Rescue will continue their efforts, the local authority is equally stubborn that their crews can take it from here.

(Virgil hears a mutinous, “fat lot of good that did last time,” muttered into Scott’s comm and can’t help but agree).

He sighs, pauses for a second to stretch his muscles, and taps his own comms.

"John, status update?"

"Two more life signs in the vicinity. To your left. Signal's faint… are they beneath that building?"

'Building' is a generous word for the structure that John has identified. Its stone walls are cracked from ground to roof, angry black tears through stone that has started to crumble. In places, the rock has already given way, revealing open sky and starlight through the gaps. It’s been reinforced with wooden shafts, which are crippled under the strain. The building is practically swaying in the breeze: a Jenga stack one block from collapse.

“Building integrity?” Virgil asks, though Virgil the Engineer is already running calculations on structural integrity and coming up with big flashing red NOs. Not even with the proper equipment - there isn’t enough of a structure to even hold onto, let alone hold up.

No way in hell is Alan going in there. Nor Gordon.

But someone has to.

“No way,” John says sharply, just as Virgil knew he would, but he’s already moving, squeezing through the space where a window once was. “Virgil - Virgil, no - at least wait for backup-”

Virgil swipes the connection away - he’ll pay for it later, but for now, he needs to focus and John’s audible yet uncharacteristic panic isn’t conducive to this.

It’s even darker inside, and Virgil makes a mental note to thank Brains for installing the headtorch in the suit. Eerie shadows bounce off the walls but at least he can see where the stairs have semi-collapsed against an internal wall - where the two victims must be buried.

“Hello?” Virgil tries, picking his way through the damage as best as he can in the gloom. “Can anyone hear me?”

There’s a pause, and then - unmistakably - a sob. A stream of words in a foreign tongue, far too quick for Virgil to understand, but he knows the universal language of fear and he moves.

He grunts as he begins shifting rocks. “I’m Virgil, I’m with International Rescue. I’m going to get you out.” He repeats it in a clunky version of their language, and gets a further panicked babble.

John appears again as he spots the leg of one of the victims - torn trousers and tiny feet, a child - and he does not look impressed. “Firstly, Virgil, what the fuck? Second, Scott is on his way and he will kill you for not waiting for backup-”

“We might not have time for that, John,” Virgil pants, shoving slab of the wall away. It has uncovered the whole lower body of the child and it’s a sharp twist in Virgil’s chest to see the duck patterns so dirty and ruined.

John pinches the bridge of his nose and breaths out noisily. “This is incredibly dangerous, Virgil.”

“So let me do my job and get out of here,” Virgil snaps back, and John recoils. Virgil regrets the words the second they leave his mouth - he’s tired and dehydrated and stressed and he didn’t mean it, of course he didn’t - but John’s already gone blank with carefully-concealed hurt.

Virgil hates when he does this.

“John, I-”

“Don’t, Virgil. Do your damn job.”

As John closes the connection, Virgil swallows down his guilt and focuses on the task at hand. There will be time to make it up to his brother later.

They’re both children, it turns out, wrapped up in each other’s arms, tear stains tracking their cheeks, and scared shitless, but alive. The boy has a head wound that’s bleeding sluggishly and the girl is cradling her arm protectively, but it’s okay, Virgil got them out, they’re going to be okay.

“I’m Virgil,” he tells them, kneeling before them and tapping his chest. “What are your names?”

“Faroqh,” the girl says, pointing at the boy and then at herself. “Leila.” She adds something on the end - a plea, he thinks, though it’s too quick to catch anything.

“I’m going to get you out,” Virgil says, keeping his voice calm and soothing. He holds out his hands and the boy reaches for it, scrubbing at his eyes.

John pops up again and the girl leaps back in shock. “Virgil - get out, aftershocks incoming, get out-”

The ground is already moving beneath them, juddering, groaning, and Virgil seizes the boy, scooping him against his chest, tries to reach for the girl through the clouds of dust rising -

Quiet.

For a split second, he thinks they’ve escaped it.

And then it all goes wrong.

The ceiling caves first, then the walls, collapsing inwards like dominoes. There’s no time to think, Virgil just reacts, throwing himself blindly in the direction of the girl, cushioning both children as best he can against himself as the rocks rain down.

In his mind, he’s vaguely aware that this is more of a Scott-move than a Virgil-move. Scott is the one who’ll fling himself into danger without a second thought, if it means someone else gets theirs.

And yet, here he is.

Even with the suit, it hurts. Jagged lumps crash into his back, pelt his already aching arms, bash his head further into the rocks.

It doesn’t matter, he doesn’t care, just let them live, take him instead -

(Wait, what-?)

He doesn’t remember losing consciousness, but the next thing he can recall is a ringing in his ears and the realisation that the ground around them is still.

“Virgil, get out of there!” John’s voice cuts across his comms, and Virgil opens his eyes.

“Faroqh?” he murmurs. “Leila?”

He feels one of them say something in his chest, senses slowly coming back online. Unfortunately, the fact that every single part of his body is in agony also makes itself known, and Virgil groans, shifting against the weight on his back.

“Virgil? Jesus, Virgil, talk to me. Scott - do you have eyes on him?”

“Almost,” Scott’s voice is tight with poorly-concealed anger and concern. “Virgil, do you copy?”

“Y- yeah,” Virgil manages, then coughs harshly.

“Status?”

“I think - I think they’re both fine. One is definitely c-conscious.”

There’s a pause and then Scott says, even more tightly. “And you?”

“Nothing broken I don’t think.”

“You’re a fucking idiot,” Scott says grimly.

Virgil closes his eyes again, because he’s so tired and he doesn’t have the energy for Scott’s hypocritical bullshit right now, but he must have lost more time because the next thing he knows, the weight on his back has lifted and strong arms are dragging him upwards.

His older brother is there, eyes a battleground between worry, fury and yet more worry. Virgil loosens his grip on the children, looking up at Scott. “Scott, I had to, they’re just kids-”

Faroqh stifles a cry and Scott’s eyes snap to him. “Give them to me.”

“I just - can you - Leila wasn’t speaking - is she-?”

Scott presses his fingers to her throat and there’s an agonising pause. “She has a pulse.”

“Thank God,” Virgil murmurs, slumping back and releasing his grip on the children.

“Thank God?” Scott repeats incredulously. “Virg - I don’t - I -”

“Don’t do this now, Scott,” John’s voice is quiet but authoritative. “Wait for me, please.”

Scott closes his eyes briefly. “Deal,” he mutters, and then picks up Leila’s body, stretching his other hand out to Faroqh. “I’m going to take these two out to Gordon and Alan. And then I’m coming back for you. Don’t you dare move.”

Faroqh accepts Scott’s hand but looks anxiously at Virgil, who does his best to smile encouragingly.

And then Scott is gone and Virgil is alone in the mess he’s created.

The weight of realisation comes crashing down around him, even harder than the building fell, and it’s a punch to his already fragile ribs. He does his best to focus on breathing rather than the swell of shame and self-loathing that’s ballooning in his chest because he really fucked this up. Virgil can feel his control beginning to slip and digs his fingers into the bruises on his legs. The pain grounds him momentarily, but only leaves him emptier when he stops. And so he only stops when Scott’s silhouette fills the entrance once more.

As Scott approaches, furious concern has him practically vibrating with emotion. Virgil takes a deep breath, choking down his own self-loathing for now, accepts the hand up and staggers into his brother’s side as the pain hits him in full. He may not have broken anything but his entire body feels like it’s been used as a punchbag and it hurts.

Scott’s grip tightens around his waist and the worry intensifies. “Can you make it out?”

“Yeah,” Virgil says. (Probably is more honest).

Leaning heavily into Scott, they make their painfully slow way to the door, out to where a pair of anxiously-hovering brothers are waiting for them.

Alan barely restrains himself from lunging at Virgil, eyes overly bright. “Virg - are - are you okay?”

“Fine, Allie,” Virgil says, pointedly ignoring Scott’s irritable snort of disbelief.

Gordon’s expression is caught between relief, worry and anger, but the former wins over and he hurries to Virgil’s other side. “What were you thinking, Virg? Going in without backup?”

“Not now, Gords, I promised John we’d wait for him. Let’s just get this moron home first.”

Virgil’s mind is struggling to compute the words whilst also concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. “Wait - John’s coming.”

“Yup.” Scott’s mouth is so thin it’s a grim slash.

Well, shit.

“You’re not flying home. No fucking way.”

“She’s my ship.”

“I. Don’t. Care. You just got injured and you’re not fit to fly.”

“Scott, it’s just bruising-”

“And a probable concussion,” chimes in Gordon, standing his ground when Virgil shoots a glare at him.

“You’re not flying and that’s an order.”

It’s not often that Scott pulls rank on him - it’s a cold day in hell when he has to - and it’s the shock of it that causes Virgil to spit “yes, Commander” with such venom. He loathes himself for the hurt he knows will be in Scott’s eyes but stalks to the passenger seat without meeting his gaze. Scott watches him for another few seconds and the stare burns right down to Virgil’s soul, scorching across his anger and burrowing right into his guilt.

But he still can’t meet his brother’s eyes.

Scott turns, leaves and Virgil sags in his seat. He doesn’t say a word whilst Gordon starts Two’s engines, not even when he revs a little harder than is necessary. He can’t bring himself to answer a single one of Gordon’s attempts at humour and eventually, Gordon lapses into silence too.

Virgil’s head is in turmoil and his chest is heavy - heavier than it’s ever been. There’s a mounting dread about the screaming match he’s about to have with his brothers (because he knows it’s coming). Guilt and shame over what he put his brothers through with his antics (because that haunted look is back in Scott’s eyes and Virgil hates that he put it there) battling a self-righteous assurance that he did the right thing in rescuing those kids. Embarrassment that he fucked up the one thing he thought he could do. Gnawing anxiety over nothing he can place specifically but it’s there and it’s overwhelming. Misery that he failed, yet again, sending him straight back to the pit he’d been stuck in before all of this happened.

Above everything though, spreading insidious arms and draping its poisonous cloak over all, is an exhaustion so intense and so absolute that Virgil does not want to exist.

(God, he’s so tired).

In the infirmary, Scott helps Virgil out of the exo suit at last, sucking in sharp breaths at the sight of his brother’s skin mottled purples and blues.

(“Jesus fucking Christ, Virg”).

Scott is as gentle as possible whilst checking for cracked bones and yet Virgil still has to grit his teeth not to wince at his touch. Eventually, Scott seems satisfied with his findings - as satisfied as it’s possible to be when his younger brother looks like a messy oil painting of angry bruising - and allows Virgil back into a sitting position to run through some mental exercises.

It’s as Virgil is answering Scott’s questions without complaint that John bursts through the doors, heading straight for Virgil like a missile.

John grabs him by the shoulders and shakes, uncharacteristic panic blazing in his eyes. "What the hell, Virgil? It's never you! You're supposed to be the one I can trust not to pull stupid shit!”

“Johnny, you - you shouldn’t be up yet,” Virgil says weakly, “gravity-”

“No, you don’t get to tell me to take care of myself right now-”

“Less of the shaking please, John,” Scott cuts in. He’s taken a step back, arms folded.

John nods, releasing Virgil apologetically, but the verbal assault continues. “What were you thinking? No, scratch that, you obviously weren’t thinking at all.” In contrast to Scott’s, John’s anger is quiet. Virgil would rather be shouted over by Scott than reprimanded by John any day; John knew exactly how to let you know that you had disappointed him.

Virgil takes a deep breath in spite of this. “I was thinking that there were two people who needed to be saved.”

“Are you being serious? That’s your excuse for going in alone, without telling anyone where you were going or waiting for backup? That aftershock could have killed you, Virg.” John’s voice trembles and he swallows viciously. “For a moment, I was so afraid it had.”

There’s a pause, in which the guilt might swallow Virgil whole, chew him up, spit out his bloody remains before his brothers. There’s nothing he can say but Scott and John look so expectant that he feels compelled to justify himself.

“I didn’t know there would be an aftershock.”

“That’s not the point, Virgil, and you know it!” Scott explodes. “You didn’t tell us what you were doing, you had nobody watching your back-”

“They were children. They were children and they needed me.”

“We need you.”

“Stop acting like you wouldn’t have done the same, Scott!” Virgil doesn’t know when they started shouting but now he can’t stop. “Don’t act like you haven’t pulled this shit on me a hundred times! Stop being such a goddamn hypocrite-”

“It’s not the same, Virgil. It’s just not.”

“Oh sure, because you’re Scott Tracy, you get to do whatever you like, fuck the consequences-”

“Because I have you watching my back,” Scott yells.

It all goes very quiet and Virgil’s mind is blank.

“What?” he whispers.

Scott looks physically pained, forcing his answer out like pulling glass from a wound. “I’m not saying it’s fair or right, Virg. But I know that whatever stupid thing I do, I have you stopping me from going too far. Pulling me out when it goes wrong. And I know it puts too much pressure on you, and I am sorry for that - I am. But what you did today - you didn’t let us help you. You didn’t let me help you.”

(This is about more than just today and Virgil can feel it in every exhausted cell of his body but fuck, he doesn’t have the energy to hash that out now. He just wants to go to bed and sleep and sleep (and never wake up?)).

John speaks up now, holding Virgil’s gaze with the same anger, only it’s not really anger, Virgil realises. It’s love, marred by fear and stress. “Going into that situation without backup was suicide, Virg.”

A pause.

“I’m not - you don’t think that I’m -” Virgil splutters, though he doesn’t know if the denial is more for his benefit or theirs. They’re wrong, he’s sure of it, they have to be wrong.

“We - we know there’s something going on with you,” John says, glancing at Scott. “And - and after today, we’re even more worried.”

“We care about you, Virg.” Scott’s eyes are wide, pleading. “Why won’t you let us help you?”

(Because I despise every single thing about myself, but most of all how much I’m burdening you all. Because you deserve better than my weakness. Because it’s not worth it).

(He says none of that, obviously. Even if he wanted to, his throat has gone dry and his brain seems to be stuck on John’s words like a scratched record).

He needs to get out.

The realisation sucks all the air from his lungs.

Anxiety rising so fast he thinks he might be sick, Virgil stands. “I - I can’t -” (breathe)-

Shove past Scott and John who are looking at him with such lost expressions Virgil can’t bear it. Inhale around the tightening band of guilt and panic-

Almost at the door and they haven’t tried to stop him - he’s not sure why this hurts more than their protests would have. Exhale and feel lungs constrict even further-

He makes it to the door, and now, exit strategy in his grasp, he can breathe. He stops, one hand on the doorframe and half-turns. Scott’s eyes take on a hopeful gleam and Virgil feels terrible for being the one to stamp that out. “They were children. Tell me you wouldn’t have done the same.”

He doesn’t wait for a response, stumbling on autopilot back to his room, sinks down into his duvet and succumbs at last to the panic attack.

When it’s done - for now, at least - he lies in his own sweat and taut muscles, drained in every sense of the word.

What the fuck is he doing?

Virgil doesn’t understand why he’s pushing away all the people who love him, nor why the thought of exposing this ugly, aching part of himself to them is utterly unbearable. Existing like this - so miserably and shamefully - is unbearable and he can’t face it anymore. He wants to cry. His chest aches with it and yet he can’t even muster the energy to do that.

Instead he lies there for hours, mind racing with reminders of his uselessness, body aching from his failings, soul longing for an endless sleep.

#thunderbirds are go #virgil tracy #littleoldrachel writes #happy belated birthday nutty!

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tzaphki · 5 years ago

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Blog Mechanics! :D

Originally titled “Quick Rundown of Blog Mechanics! :D” but if you read the whole thing you’ll see why I changed it.

In this rundown we will discuss prompts, tagging, organization (with a subsection on ship organization), warnings, ratings, and what you won’t see.

Prompts:

Prompts are found by using #prompts. All prompt lists have a second tag, which is the name of the list. When submitting a prompt, use the name and the number of the prompt. If you want to be extra sure the right prompt has been received, you can write the prompt out in the ask. Prompts can also be of your own creation, of course.

As for ships, if you do not know the name, especially for poly ships, it's totally okay and encouraged to just write Character A/Character B/Character C (romantic pairing) or Character A & Character B (platonic pairing).

If there is a specific prompt that you would like to see in a pre-existing universe, be sure to include the name of the verse, typed out or abbreviated.

Here is an exemplar example of a prompt ask:

FLUFF 18 "I wish we could live together already," Virgil/Janus/Remus, NLOL

This translates roughly to: "I wish to request prompt eighteen - "I wish we could live together already" - from the FLUFF prompt list for the Virgil/Janus/Remus ship, specifically in the New Lease On Life 'verse."

Organization:

#prompts: Use this tag to find a prompt you would like to submit!

#not mine: Fan works that I did not write but enjoyed and would like to share.

#tzaph made a thing: All fan works I did write.

#rambles: I’m talking about either something that probably isn’t important but might have context clues for a project in it or problems I have encountered while working on a project.

#tw (trigger): Anything triggering will be tagged so if need be you can block the tag.

#angst: The sad pieces that stay sad (for that post at least).

#hurt/comfort: Pieces that are hurt/comfort.

#fluff: The happiest, most tooth-rotting thing ever (for that post).

#angst with a happy ending: It’s sad but it gets better (but it’s really sad before it gets happy).

#angst fluff: It’s a toss up as to which is more but they’re both there.

#mina made a thing: All fan works Mina wrote.

#belt boi speaks: Mina’s version of #rambles.

#sanders sides fanfiction: Sanders Sides fics.

#bnha fanfiction: BNHA fics.

For the sake of my sanity, works are tagged with a fandom as well as subcategories of the fandom tag.

Fandom Organization:

Oh boy this is gonna be fun.

Within the #sanders sides fanfiction tag, we have the following (this is going to be long, there are so many of them, I am so sorry):

All pairing tags (except for #creativitwins) are typed as they appear below and are prefaced by romantic, platonic, or familial but there are already so many it would be cruel to everyone for me to triple the list. Yes, I tag it twice. I could not find ship names for a large number of the poly ships so if they look like random letters mushed together I swear they made sense at one point.

#emile picani: Any work that has Dr. Emile Picani in it.

#janus sanders: Any work that has Janus “Deceit” Sanders in it.

#logan sanders: Any work that has Logan “Logic” Sanders in it.

#patton sanders: Any work that has Patton “Morality” Sanders in it.

#remus sanders: Any work that has Remus “Creativity” Sanders in it.

#remy sanders: Any work that has Remy “Sleep” Sanders in it.

#roman sanders: Any work that has Roman “Creativity” Sanders in it.

#virgil sanders: Any work that has Virgil “Anxiety” Sanders in it.

Ship time I guess.

#analogical: Virgil/Logan

#anxceit: Virgil/Janus

#creativitwins: Roman & Remus

#dukeceit: Remus/Janus

#dukexiety: Remus/Virgil

#intruality: Remus/Patton

#intrulogical: Remus/Logan

#loceit: Logan/Janus

#logicality: Logan/Patton

#logince: Logan/Roman

#moceit: Patton/Janus

#moxiety: Patton/Virgil

#prinxiety: Roman/Virgil

#remile: Remy/Emile (This one is only a side ship, I don’t write Remile-centric because I am not familiar enough with the characters yet)

#roceit: Roman/Janus

#royality: Roman/Patton

If you can’t tell I like lists in alphabetical order. :/ Also we’ve definitely reached the ones I made up on the fly at 3 AM.

#analoceit: Virgil/Logan/Janus

#analogicality: Virgil/Logan/Patton

#analogimus: Virgil/Logan/Remus

#analogince: Virgil/Logan/Roman

#anamoceit: Virgil/Patton/Janus

#anaroceit: Virgil/Roman/Janus

#anaroyality: Virgil/Roman/Patton

#anxceitmus: Virgil/Janus/Remus

#intrualiceit: Remus/Patton/Janus

#intrulogicality: Remus/Logan/Patton

#intrumoxiety: Remus/Patton/Virgil

#loceitmus: Logan/Janus/Remus

#logicaliceit: Logan/Patton/Janus

#logincality: Logan/Roman/Patton

#logince & intrulogical: Logan/Roman & Logan/Remus

#loginceit: Logan/Roman/Janus

#prinxiety & dukexiety: Roman/Virgil & Remus/Virgil

#roceit & dukeceit: Roman/Janus & Remus/Janus

#royaliceit: Roman/Patton/Janus

#royality & intruality: Roman/Patton & Remus/Patton

Oof these are bad but not as bad as the fives. :/

#analoceitmus: Virgil/Logan/Janus/Remus

#analogicaliceit: Virgil/Logan/Patton/Janus

#analogicalimus: Virgil/Logan/Patton/Remus

#analogimus & analogince: Virgil/Logan/Remus & Virgil/Logan/Roman

#analoginceit: Virgil/Logan/Roman/Janus

#anamoceitmus: Virgil/Patton/Janus/Remus

#anaroceit & anxceitmus: Virgil/Roman/Janus & Virgil/Janus/Remus

#anaroyaliceit: Virgil/Roman/Patton/Janus

#anaroyality & intrumoxiety: Virgil/Roman/Patton & Remus/Patton/Virgil

#intrulogicaliceit: Remus/Logan/Patton/Janus

#lamp: Logan/Virgil/Patton/Roman

#loginaliceit: Logan/Roman/Patton/Janus

#logincality & intrulogicality: Logan/Roman/Patton & Remus/Logan/Patton

#loginceit & loceitmus: Logan/Roman/Janus & Logan/Janus/Remus

#royaliceit & intrualiceit: Roman/Patton/Janus & Remus/Patton/Janus

The strangest things I have ever written (ship names not ships themselves) are in a list below. Warning: the first one may eat your brain cells if you try to pronounce it.

#analogicaliceitmus: Virgil/Logan/Patton/Janus/Remus

#anaroyaliceit & anamoceitmus: Virgil/Roman/Patton/Janus & Virgil/Patton/Janus/Remus

#dlamp: Janus/Logan/Virgil/Patton/Roman

#lamp & analogicalimus: Logan/Virgil/Patton/Roman & Virgil/Logan/Patton/Remus

#loginaliceit & intrulogicaliceit: Logan/Roman/Patton/Janus & Remus/Logan/Patton/Janus

And of course, my very favorite...

#drlamp: All the boys, platonic Creativitwins. (Janus/Logan/Virgil/Patton/Roman & Janus/Remus/Logan/Virgil/Patton)

Disclaimer on the ship list: Once I get more comfortable with Remy and Emile, they will likely be incorporated into this list, greatly increasing the length.

Of course there is our newer #bnha fanfiction tag, which thankfully has a shorter list.

Tagging:

If anyone is interested in being tagged, I will keep a list/spreadsheet of everyone who wants to be tagged and for what content they want to see. All you need to do is message me and I’ll put you on the sheet. :)

Warnings:

I will use the Ao3 warnings in addition to things I know can be triggering. If I miss anything on any piece I ever publish, tell me! I will be so thankful and will fix it ASAP. Anything triggering will be tagged with #tw (trigger).

Ratings:

Here’s my rating scale:

General: I might say crap or maybe even damn, piss, or ass. There won’t be much if any violence or highly triggering content.

Teen and Up: I may go so far as to say f*ck once or twice, but the language is mostly PG-13. Might have higher amounts of violence and/or trigger content.

Mature: Bets are off. No smut. However, language, violence, appropriately tagged triggering content, and that sort of stuff is likely to be there. I will always tag everything I can think of that could be triggering, and as always, tell me if I miss something.

What You Won’t See Here:

You will never, ever, EVER, see anything anti-LGBTQ+, ableist, racist, anti-Semitic, misogynistic, etc from the author or in the comments. If I see it in the comments, the user who said it will be blocked, this is the warning. I hate blocking people, but this is a tolerant space, and I’m not tolerant of intolerance, bigots, supremacists, or people who are purposefully mean to people just trying to live.

It is possible, however, that some of those aforementioned things will be in a story, and it will be appropriately tagged (I’d say scout’s honor but I was never a boy scout).

No arguments in the comments or with me. No one wants to read an argument. If you really want to argue, you can DM me.

I don’t write smut. I just. I can’t. It’s too weird to me to write, I try not to write about things I don’t know about and as a very single, very asexual person it’s not something I’m familiar with.

I don’t deliberately write unsympathetic sides. Sometimes someone might be an asshole (not too often these guys are kinda baby animals in people bodies), but I don’t do unsympathetic. Here’s why.

These guys all have Thomas’ best interests at heart. But sometimes, they get confused or they just don’t know how to help. It’s sort of like doing bad things for a good reason, but you didn’t mean to do anything bad. You did it on accident. Mistakes happen. They’re trying their best. And because they are trying their best, I write them as sympathetic.

Off the topic of this serious stuff, you probably won’t see another super dense, super long post from me again unless it’s a story.

I’m so sorry this was so long, it got away from me. But I got everything I could think of out, so the purpose was accomplished.

#information #long post

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r-ahh-mi · 6 years ago

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A Cure I Know // Part 4

Part 1 II Part 2 II Part 3 II

Pairing: Elliot Alderson x fem!OC (Emerson)

Summary: A sex addict & a nut case - what a perfect pairing, don’t you think?

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 2k

A/N: Sorry this took so long to produce, but here it is! If you enjoy this series and would like to be tagged in future chapters, let me know and i’ll happily add you to my tag list. Enjoy xx

It was like clockwork and to no fail that following Monday we were both once again sat on the train in the same exact train car. I wondered a lot of things. One: did he always aim for this exact train car? That seemed a tad repetitive and manic, but after our little ordeal the weekend before I wouldn’t put it past him should he be a character of mindless repetition. He himself seemed as though he hadn’t a clue what he was doing and whether he was doing it right or wrong or down or sideways. I suppose you couldn’t say much better things about me either because ever since I saw him that first day on this very train, I aimed to catch this exact car as well, just in case, though the chance was more rare than rubies, I would once again come across this intriguing stranger. However, I never thought that me and him would actually create this morning routine of avoiding eyes whilst on a crowded rush hour train.

Now, onto Two: who the fuck is this guy. Truly. He could be anyone -- an assassin, a dull sales person, even a fucking male prostitute. He was a complete mystery to me and for some god forsaken reason I was intently drawn on getting to know him, but not the rough and tough bad boy he oh so attempted to seem to be. That was a lie. I can spot a lie because I too am quite the liar. Except, you know, I'm good at it, but this man--this man was not accustomed to lying, at least not conjuring up a good lie that would be pleasing or believable to others. That’s sorta cute in a way if you think of it. A grown human being not being able to lie well means they still have this sort of innocence to them, but I knew he couldn’t be all innocent.

I did catch him in a dusky alley having an altercation with some wealthy so and so after all, and that was anything but innocent. Not to mention he was deeply insistent on making sure I hadn’t heard or seen anything that he didn’t want me to see or hear. Honestly, the only reason I was upset that I hadn’t any clue as to what he was up to that night was because I didn’t have anything to dangle over his head and tease him with. Though he did seem like the type to have quite a temper and yes, he did frighten me ever so slightly, I knew he was harmless deep down. Simply put, he was just a boy who was lost and seeking out something, I could tell that much. His eyes were quick to give that way.

Today wasn’t any different than the other times I'd seen him on the train. We would make quick eye contact every so often and within a millisecond he was diverting his eyes to the nearest spot that wasn’t my gaze. I never took my eyes off of him, especially not today. Suddenly I felt brave and curious about him all at the same time. He was something that I could see myself chasing after which he should see as a huge compliment seeing as I loved people who were disposable. I wanted the intimacy of a good fuck and that was all. Don’t take me to dinner, don’t try to fucking cuddle with me, and, jesus fucking christ, don’t even try to ask me for my number so we could ‘do this again sometime’. That's not what I want. Well, that is until now.. Which was terribly frightening and intriguing to me all at once.

“Stop fucking staring at me.”

I smirked, recognizing that deep voice seeping out from between clenched teeth. “Am I bothering you?,” I questioned.

“Yeah you are.”

“Guess my plan is working then,” I answered with the most over confident smile I could muster together while his cold gaze was peircing through the even colder atmosphere that seemed to loom around him wherever he went.

The stranger huffed loudly. Loud enough for most other bystanders to notice and grimace at his rather rude behavior on public transportation, but this is where I realized we were alone in this steel built train car and immediately my confidence began to dwindle away. Especially when his hands reached for the long metal bars that went from the floor to the ceiling, and pulled his body up to a standing position.

His dark attired body sauntered over in my direction until he was directly stood in front of me; I could feel my knee’s brushing along the fabric of his dark, wrinkled pants. He craned his neck down so his face was closer to mine and, should I not feel so intimidated by him right now, I would’ve seen this as a tempting opportunity to have some fun on public transportation. But he was different. He didn’t make me feel like the fem fatale that I usually felt like when I was with other men and women. He was the alpha, but a lost and sad alpha. An alpha who seemed to not understand what he was doing, yet he held so much natural power over others.

“What are you trying to do?”

I shrugged, feeling my eyes grow owlish as they blinked furiously trying to process the harshness of his voice.

Maybe I was afraid of him? Maybe I wasn’t? How he was able to take me from cocky to nervous and scared was still something I was trying to process, but he was beginning to make me feel..not like myself. I suppose in general he made me feel like a different person entirely.

“I--I’m not doing anything,” I answered with shaky hands that his eyes immediately seemed to notice.

His brow instantly relaxed and the crease set in the middle of his forehead seemed to dissipate as he moved his face back a good foot or so from mine. I watched as his teeth dug into his bottom lip while his eyes searched the train car once more to ensure nobody was within earshot of our conversation, but this only made me feel more nervous.

“Listen, I just want to know why you’re doing this. Just tell me. I’m not going to hurt you or anything… did someone send you looking for me? Was it-“

Before he could finish his sentence, I shook my head in response as my brain tried to wrap itself, yet again, around this man and why on earth anyone would be looking for him or why someone would send me to find him. Who was he?

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Immediately he coward back both physically and mentally as he released the metal bars and let his body balance itself as the train moved at a fast pace.

“I just don’t get it.”

“Don’t get what?,” I questioned, but he didn’t seem to want to say anything else. Instead he took one of his hands underneath the black hood covering his head and ran it through his hair, causing a small strand of black to fall onto his forehead.

I watched the strand, almost in slow motion, as it relaxed onto his tan skin and the urge to be cliche and fix the hair back into its place was there. Infact, my hand twitched as if it was going for it, without letting my brain grant it permission, to touch this strangers stray hair. Usually only a gesture made for couples or those who sustained close and precious relationships, yet I took had the urge for this man.

“Elliot?”

An unfamiliar blonde woman had entered the train car, along with a few dozen other people, as she made her way over to this stranger who evidently wasn’t a mystery to her. She placed her hand on his shoulder as the stranger looked between me and the blonde haired woman--he seemed cautious and nearly scared by her or rather what she could say.

“Elliot, I haven’t seen you in days. Why haven’t you been at work?”

I watched as the stranger took his hand, that was still underneath his hood, and gently lift the black fabric from his head as he shrugged. “I’ve just been busy with some stuff.”

The blonde scoffed at the man, who I presumed to be Elliot, as he mumbled his words and seemed annoyed as she began versing him in why it’s essential to let your friends know what’s going on in your life, but frankly I was much too distracted to pay attention to their conversation in its entirety.

Elliot. What a sweet name. It was somehow fitting for this stranger that had a dark and cold outer appearance; the opposite of sweet, yet it suited him well, very very well. I was surprised I never even thought about naming this mysterious person, but never once did I stop to think of his name, his backstory, and what made him who he was.

The scary part was that now I was thinking about all of that. I was thinking of his middle name, does he have any pets, is this blonde bitch going to get in my way of getting to know him, also, why the hell did I want to get to know him? Why was I having monologues with myself regarding this man who, up until a minute ago, I hadn’t a clue of even his name. I hated this and most importantly i hated who I was right now because I wasn’t the type to pine and day dream after another. Why was he different. Why on this god forsaken earth is there a creature say as he that would make me feel such foreign things that I hadn’t felt in decades.

“Are you okay?”

I hadn’t noticed that I zoned out, with my eyes still fixed on Elliot, until his now much perkier, yet still lifeless, voice questioned my dead eyed gaze.

I nodded, gulping back a breath I hadn’t realized was being held captive in my throat as I looked around for the blonde woman, who had been previously scolding a grown man on proper friendship etiquette--how precious. Thankfully, she was nowhere to be found. I must have been so deep in my thoughts that her departure had gone unnoticed to my zoned out stare.

“You sure?,” Elliot questioned again, ending his sentence this time with a brief and deep chuckle that made me smile, but I quickly removed the grin from my face in the hopes that he wouldn’t see it. I didn’t need to give him any sort of leverage in whatever it is we were (friends, acquaintances, etc.).

“I’m fine,” I lied, but like I said, I was always convincing when it came to lying and this time was no different.

Elliot nodded just as the loud speaker announced the stop I was needing to get off on and only then did I realize my belongings were nowhere near being close to gathered and ready for me to descend into a crowd of thousands of others working at a miserable job. I began scrambling manically for my things as Elliot just watched me with some sort of look in his eyes that seemed sympathetic in nature, but what for?

I didn’t bother to acknowledge him as I stood to move past him and out of the train car. We never really said or entertained any sort of greeting when we departed so it wasn’t anything unusual.

“Bye.”

I stopped dead in my tracks, directly in the middle of the automatic doors, as he spoke the words. I’m sure I was blushing or wearing some sort of smitten grin and god how I hated that my feelings were from something as small as a ‘bye’ from him, but now wasn’t the time. I wouldn’t let these unusual feelings I was having for this man cause me to shatter the outer appearance I worked hard to convince others of. Not today, not ever--no on was worth that much.

“See you tomorrow, Elliot.”

Tag: @sassystrawberryk @itsme690 @imnottiredofgettingoveryou @lovelymalekk @mezzomercury @sherlollydramoine @rami-malek-trash @amcquivey @txmel @crystalmethchristmas @ramimedley

#rami malek #rami malek fic #mr robot fic #mr robot #elliot alderson #elliot alderson x reader #elliot alderson x oc #rami malek x oc

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thestuckylibrary · 6 years ago

Text

Group Ask 143

What is a group ask?

Previous Group Asks

AO3 Search Tutorial

Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

Anon 1 said: (addiction, drug/alcohol abuse)

Thankyou for being amazing! Looking for a fic that’s a college au, Steve lives next to buckys college and has a pool. Steve is in a wheelchair and loves to cook, I think Bucky has an alcohol or drug addiction? Bucky and co. sneak over the fence and have a bit of a party and Steve doesn’t really mind cause Bucky is cute I think. Thanks for the help!!

Anon sent in Backyard Pool by charlottesometimes (complete | 59,661 | T)

Anon 2 said:

hey so i sent in a ask for a lost fic and idk if it didn’t send or anything (if you guys already got my message then ignore this lol i’m so sorry) anyways the fix had chubby bucky and lifeguard steve? and bucky goes skinny dipping and steve kinda watches him and gets turned on or something? i think at the end he asked him out maybe?? it’s a one shot i’m pretty sure. anyways thank you soooo much!! sorry if you already got my message

pandasintheimpala said:

Thanks for all your work! I have tried looking in my ao3 history but I can't find it! Steve survived WWII and Bucky works at a garage (never went to wwii??). They meet at a baseball game in 1945 and bucky brought his nephew. Its akward for a bit then Steve gets mobbed by ppl wanting autographs. Then steve goes to bucky's garage to get his bikes fixed and they dance? I know that's a horrible discription... please help!

mille-baci sent in A Home Game by 743ish (oneshot | 3,071 | T)

whitewolfbucky sent in its sequel, Come On-A My House by 743ish (oneshot | 3,491 | T)

Anon 3 said:

Hi just resending in my ask. I'm looking for a fic but I only remember one part. The Avengers are all having movie night and Steve comes in offering everyone ice cream sandwiches. He ends up sucking on a popcicle while Bucky tries not to watch before he kicks everyone out

Anon sent in home is the nicest word there is by sheisraging (oneshot | 5,088 | G)

Anon 4 said:

Hi! I was hoping you could help me find a fic. It’s post-hydra Bucky with the avengers, and he used to do this thing in WWII where he would mockingly cross himself before he shot someone. He sneaks away from the avengers to assassinate a politician who’s actually an android, and he does the cross thing again before he takes the shot. Also before he leaves, he does an obstacle course the avengers use to train. Sorry I only remember weird details, thanks for all you guys do!

Anon sent in chapter 5 of Tripwires* by mandarou (complete | 182,574 | E) */others, polyamory

secretlytodream said:

Hey there! Awhile ago I read a fic that was finished at the time (with a cliffhanger), but I believe the author started a verse/series on ao3, so I wanted to check if there's been any update, but I can't remember the title and can't find it. Steve was an actor, and I believe Bucky was his bodyguard, or at least a friend. It was about 30-40k words, 1 chapter story, and the cliffhanger was that somebody tried to shoot Steve at the movie premiere/red carpet, but Bucky caught it and was badly hurt.

elmschick06 said:

Hi I’m desperate to find a shrunkyclunks fic where Bucky is the party boy prince and cap Steve is tasked with watching over him. Bucky plans to ruin caps reputation by seduction but ends up liking him. Peggy is Bucky’s sister Thanks

commanderskyphlox said:

hi, i’m looking for a fic i read a while ago on ao3 and have since lost the title of. it’s immediately post-civil war and it has steve flying bucky to wakanda in the quinjet and tending to his injuries as well as some very detailed flashbacks to bucky’s time as the winter soldier. it was posted before iw came out and may be tagged steve & bucky instead of steve/bucky? my searches so far have been fruitless so if anyone can help that’d be amazing. thanks!

Anon 5 said:

do you know of a fic where steve plays buckys handler in a bdsm setting a while after he's been rescued and makes bucky fuck himself on a row of buttplugs that are increasing in size? i've been looking for it everywhere but i can't seem to find it again. thanks

Anon 6 said:

hi can you help me find the fic where it's modern bucky with cap steve and bucky is drinking with the howling commandos and they dare him to ask cap for a piggy back ride? i think bucky starts flirting with him and then thinks he's made steve uncomfortable so he apologises and steve really appreciates it. they go home together in the end.

abarbaricyalp and autonomygirl sent in Save a Horse, Ride a Captain by galwednesday (oneshot | 2,708 | T)

Anon 7 said:

Hi everybody! Thank you for your work! I need help to find two fic I read long time ago. In the first one Bucky and Steve are orphans during 20s / 30s, everything is fine until new professors arrive and Steve almost got kill. The run away sussesfully and grew up toghether. In the second one the Winter Soldier break in Steve's flat - while Cap is away - and begin to change furniture. Thank you again! I hope these fic still exist...

Anon 8 said:

I'm watching for a sad beautiful fic where steve talks about promises or prayers to god and the last one is that he wouldn't be in this world without bucky and he thinks the promise has come true when he puts the plane in the water

Anon 9 said:

I'm looking for a post Endgame fic where Steve shows up at Peggy's house and shows her the compass to prove it's really him, then reveals to her that Shield has been infiltrated by Hydra and they start making plans to defeat Zola.

thequietlurker said:

Hi! I'm looking for a fic where Steve wakes up and realizes that Bucky is now being portrayed as the bad boy if The Howling Commandos and defends him, joins a fanclub, etc. I can't remember how it ends but he does eventually get Bucky back.

autonomygirl sent in Bucky Barnes Defense Squad by biblionerd07 (complete | 2,949 | G)

Anon 10 said:

Hello :) Firstly I absolutely love ur blog! And sorry maybe I just haven’t been using the right tags but I was wondering if you could help me find this fic. Basically it was set a bit after Steve woke up (before he knew Bucky was alive) where the avengers gave Steve a colourised picture of Bucky as a gift. Sorry it’s a bit vague

ice-whisper sent in The S. Rogers Memorial (it’s NOT a shrine) to J. B. Barnes by SkyisGray (complete | 18,332 | T)

#group asks

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thatgoddamnflipphone · 6 years ago

Text

Steve/Tony Fic Rec List Part 1 - MCU Canonverse

Over 70 fic below the cut -- some in the middle still need summaries I will add over time.

These are listed in approximately the order I read them, so mostly random.

(MCU Verse. Comics Verses. Semi-Canon AUs. Full AUs. Post-IW. Still to come: a crapload of under 10k fic! To see the whole list as a Google Doc, go to tinyurl.com/streclist)

LAST EDIT: 8/30/19 - NEW FIC MARKED WITH ~

Guys and Bots by Scaramouche (@no-gorms). Follows the movies with the difference that they kiss at the end of AoU. Series with a hopeful ending (hey it’s CW it can’t be ALL happy). 32k https://archiveofourown.org/series/727023

Gained in Translation by Scaramouche (@no-gorms) . Short getting together fic between TWS & AoU. 11k https://archiveofourown.org/works/14020488

The Last Love Song of Anthony E. Stark by Jibrailis. Tony is infected with an Asgardian disease that causes slow memory loss. They travel to Asgard for a cure while he slowly forgets who and where he is. ANGST. 42k https://archiveofourown.org/works/349478

The Act of Creation Will Be Your Salvation by @scifigrl47. This is the first in a looooong series, the whole thing is pretty great but if you’re not into kidfic you can just read this first one, it’s self contained and phenomenal. Follows Tony from when he first creates Dummy through Avengers and beyond, focusing on his relationship with his bots (and then of course Steve). You WILL cry about robots. 85k https://archiveofourown.org/works/401961/chapters/662516

Four (Or Five) Reasons for Kidnapping Tony Stark by @scifigrl47. Also part of a long series, you can read the first two also but this is where it really picks up and she really gets a feel for the characters. Kidnapping! (Fairly mild) Torture! Tony being brilliant! Pining! Presumed dead! It’s tagged pre-slash but there is smooching so it’s really not. 78k https://archiveofourown.org/works/391599/chapters/642784

Sixpence In His Shoe by @scifigrl47. (Yes this is the same author again, get used to it I am a completionist and read everything.) This is one of the BEST accidental marriage fics I’ve read, omg. This ship is complicated by the fact that they are FAMOUS, so fake or accidental marriages have far reaching consequences that are fascinating to explore. This hits all my sweet spots. 103k https://archiveofourown.org/works/11443803/chapters/25647162

Lessons on how to be Worthwhile by @pensversusswords A beautiful Tony character study, hurt/comfort. 19k https://archiveofourown.org/works/2306576/chapters/5075171

Truth Behind Masks by @scifigrl47 MCU/comics fusion where Tony takes Coulson up on the “bodyguard” alibi at the end of IM1. The team thinks Tony & Iron Man are sleeping together, while Steve, of course, is falling in love with “both” of them. I adore Sam in this, there’s a scene with him and Steve that makes me cry every time. 98k https://archiveofourown.org/works/1523327/chapters/3221816

Christmas Holiday by @scifigrl47 A proposal, wedding, honeymoon fic where literally everything goes wrong in hilarious ways. Cracky but amazing. 19k https://archiveofourown.org/works/5474990

My Lost City by elise_509 42k https://archiveofourown.org/works/1008115/chapters/1999662

In the Stillness of Remembering by elise_509 A fandom classic. Just read it. 70k https://archiveofourown.org/works/557155/chapters/993923

As Sharp As Any Thorn by RurouniHime (@thegertie) Holy shit this fic. The angst is THROUGH the ROOF I had to stop reading a few times but damn it’s good (and happy ending!). Basically someone hacks Tony’s suit while he’s in it, causing him to attack the team and almost-fatally injure Steve. Steve spends a good bit of the fic in a coma and they don’t know if he’ll make it, while the public calls for Iron Man’s head, and Tony can’t get the memory of beating Steve out of his head. Damn. So good. 47k https://archiveofourown.org/works/725234

With Words Other Than These by RurouniHime (@thegertie) Post-mission adrenaline fueled comfort sex. Yes please. 14k https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012230

When Our Day Comes by @thepartyresponsible Ok this is super short but HILARIOUS so if you need something to read after some of the above angst … 6k https://archiveofourown.org/works/14764490

Evening Comfort by ann2who (@stark-spangled-lovers) Steve & Tony run into each other at a gay bar, decide to roll with it and pretend they are strangers. 21k https://archiveofourown.org/works/4734002/chapters/10819700

A New Way For Us by ann2who (@stark-spangled-lovers) TIME TRAVEL SHENANIGANS Strange sends Tony back in time to try and fix things before Thanos, prevent Civil War, etc. 24k https://archiveofourown.org/works/9825590/chapters/22062992

Serenity Oasis by @festiveferret Omggggggg. So they wake up at a couples resort with amnesia. Are they undercover? Did they get married for real? We Just Don’t Know, and neither do they! 20k https://archiveofourown.org/works/13147377/chapters/30070665

(what is hate) but jilted love by LemonGrenade Post-Civil War Fix-it, Tony is injured and recovering away from it all in a cabin. Enter the Snowed In In A Canadian Shack trope! 27k https://archiveofourown.org/works/15344694

Flower Child by @itsallavengers Tony overcoming toxic programming from Howard, learning to be soft, oh and Steve punches Howard when he shows up in the future so. That’s really all I needed to love this. 24k https://archiveofourown.org/works/15399303

Lost Together by @festiveferret A fun take on the soulmate mark trope - Steve & Tony end up in an alternate universe with soulmate marks, and have to both hide that they don’t have them and pretend to be a couple because Reasons. Tropey goodness! 68k https://archiveofourown.org/works/12282594/chapters/27918672

More Than the Average Good by @royal-chandler Tony is the one to find Steve after Bucky pulls him out of the river in TWS. He convinces Steve to come back to the Tower with him, where they grow closer but eventually the truth about Tony’s parents needs to come out. 16k https://archiveofourown.org/works/15219425

Guessing Game by @itsallavengers Sort of an ambiguous universe but it’s close enough to MCU. Tony wakes up not remembering the last 24 hours, with a hole in his leg, and Steve carrying him through underground tunnels to escape a Skrull invasion. But is it really Steve? 21k https://archiveofourown.org/works/12746256

Butterfly Dreams by Teyke This fic is a mind fuck with a happy ending. Steve is switching between two universes every time he falls asleep - in one, it’s post-CW and Tony is missing. In the other, Steve & Tony are on their honeymoon. Each feels real - which one is? 38k https://archiveofourown.org/works/8677540

Semaphore by DevilDoll "I’m trying to like you, Tony. You’re just making it very hard." 40k https://archiveofourown.org/works/314102/chapters/503103

All the Time in the World by missbecky (@missbeckywrites) Post-TWS, Steve’s team needs a place to land and end up at the Tower. When Steve & Tony quickly grow close, a stalker gets very irate. 38k https://archiveofourown.org/works/2646503

To the Victor by @thegraytigress OH BOY. Steve “dies” on a mission. Tony is certain he’s still alive - is he in denial? Everyone else thinks so. Hmm. BRING ON THE ANGST. 242k https://archiveofourown.org/works/8162986/chapters/18705922

The Trial Run by scaramouche (@no-gorms) 14k https://archiveofourown.org/works/15027899

Fix You by @thegraytigress 74k https://archiveofourown.org/works/5900494/chapters/13602163

Shiver by @thegraytigress 54k https://archiveofourown.org/works/10868364

Equivalence by @thegraytigress 28k https://archiveofourown.org/works/7312558

Falling Into You by @sabrecmc Fuck buddies until Steve loses his memory (yay Loki), Tony doesn’t tell Steve about their “arrangement.” Then feelings happen. 53k https://archiveofourown.org/works/3731302/chapters/8269387

I wanted to fix this (but couldn't stop from tearing it down) by @missbeckywrites 51k https://archiveofourown.org/works/529127

Better Angels/Lesser Demons by @sabrecmc A CW fix-it where Peggy leaves some home videos for Steve in her will. 34k https://archiveofourown.org/series/891720

Good For You by @orbingarrow “Steve doesn't understand why Tony dates people who abuse him. Tony doesn't understand why Steve cares.The rest is bad choices, good choices, rehab, milkshakes, paintball, YouTube videos, couples therapy and learning to put the past in the past. Or: How Tony finds his happy ending.” 42k https://archiveofourown.org/works/6093591

Into Words by @dirigibleplumbing 32k https://archiveofourown.org/works/14817710

I Am With You by @dirigibleplumbing Steve tries to adjust to life in the 21st century, with the help of his new team/family, and especially Tony. Great Steve character stuff. 25k https://archiveofourown.org/works/15166046

Never for the Dragon by @ladyshadowdrake (MCU/616 fusion) READ THE TAGS you will definitely cry. Like really seriously full on sobs. But it’s extremely worth it. 89k https://archiveofourown.org/works/7120420

Tensile Strength by sahiya 21k https://archiveofourown.org/works/15779712

all warm-blooded creatures by nanasekei (@elcorhamletlive) “From a very early age, Steve Rogers was aware that he was going to die of cold.” 13k https://archiveofourown.org/works/15196187

Hating Steve Rogers by nanasekei (@elcorhamletlive) I loooove fic where post-Avengers Tony goes from a lifetime of hate and resentment towards Captain America to falling in love with Steve Rogers. 16k https://archiveofourown.org/works/14813219

'Til Death Do Us Part by @itsallavengers Steve has to fake his death on a mission. SHIELD “forgets” to tell his husband. 15k https://archiveofourown.org/works/15905544

Home Is Where the Time Machine Is by @wordsplat There is NOT ENOUGH of this trope in this fandom! Steve & Tony’s daughter from the future shows up, tries not to spill the beans about them getting together. 23k https://archiveofourown.org/works/1030540

Stay With Me (home is where your mind is.) by sara_holmes (@captn-sara-holmes) 67k https://archiveofourown.org/works/1246060

Bond Has It Covered by sara_holmes 66k https://archiveofourown.org/works/1104870

Counterpart by sara_holmes 217k https://archiveofourown.org/works/1659452

when i run out of road, you bring me home by quidhitch 18k https://archiveofourown.org/works/16153091

Over Sea, Under Stars by vorkosigan 36k https://archiveofourown.org/works/8635870

Unintended by sheron 37k https://archiveofourown.org/works/13446870

i found a way to let you in, but i never really had a doubt by quidhitch 16k https://archiveofourown.org/series/1191442

In Your Warmth I Forget How Cold It Can Be by izazov 29k https://archiveofourown.org/works/13137222

In Dreams (Everything Makes Sense) by msermesth 42k https://archiveofourown.org/works/9924365

Die Hard (But Only If No Other Options Are Readily Available) by JenTheSweetie 24k https://archiveofourown.org/works/4702037

Things We Learned at the End of the World by JenTheSweetie 13k https://archiveofourown.org/works/14867777

An Infinite Number Of Monkeys At Typewriters (Or, Steve and Tony Finally Get It Right) by JenTheSweetie 19k https://archiveofourown.org/works/8310553

More Than Gravity by JenTheSweetie 21k https://archiveofourown.org/works/5502959

Of Things Lost in Time by erde Post-IW Steve gets caught in an AoU groundhog day ahhhhh! 16k https://archiveofourown.org/works/17217959

Love's Such an Old-Fashioned Word by scaramouche 11k https://archiveofourown.org/works/17344631

Never Eye To Eye by vorkosigan 26k https://archiveofourown.org/works/8776729

Of Books and Memories and Snow by vorkosigan 22K https://archiveofourown.org/works/10876335

Lost in Transcription by Veldeia Cool science-based canonverse soulmate AU - science has recently discovered genetic markers for soulmates. Uh oh. 25k. https://archiveofourown.org/works/13982646

And The Void Would Be Calling. by jadedoll 17k https://archiveofourown.org/works/387387

Sticky Business by OftheLilies 19k https://archiveofourown.org/works/12976434

All These Half-Tones of the Soul by nostalgicatsea Angsty retelling of canon as a soulmate au. 23k https://archiveofourown.org/series/994596

Overhaul by Annie D (scaramouche) 19k https://archiveofourown.org/works/17846375

Northwest to Nowhere by Veldeia 17k https://archiveofourown.org/works/5456477

Untapped Opportunities by Serinah The classic “they meet on a cybersex site but don’t know who they are talking to” with lots of fluff, angst, and porn. BDSM. 62k https://archiveofourown.org/works/16106627

the things we invent when we are scared by nanasekei 18k https://archiveofourown.org/works/17946077

Resistance by thegraytigress The worldbuilding and OCs are amazing in this, but mind the tags - loooots of torture and hurt/comfort. 426k (no that’s not a typo lol) https://archiveofourown.org/works/7469145/chapters/16973895

Symmetry Breaking by scaramouche (@no-gorms) I probably have this down with EG fics too, but it mostly belongs up here. Takes place in the branched 2012 timeline where Loki took the Tesseract. I want a million fics in this universe! 10k https://archiveofourown.org/works/18627655

The Butterfly Effect by @itsallavengers Same as above, 2012 branched timeline. YES MORE PLEASE! 20k https://archiveofourown.org/works/18617755

To Have My Time Again... by @wilmakins A post-CW rewrite of Infinity War, including accidentally dragging Howard forward in time, and addressing Steve choosing between the past and the future in a much more in-character way than EG did <cough>. 166k https://archiveofourown.org/works/16654939

Name Recognition by OscarTheSlouch Steve wants to take Tony’s last name. Tony has a bunch of hangups about it. Featuring sad baby Tony flashbacks! 14k https://archiveofourown.org/works/11690337

Even the Light is an Illusion by Mizzy This is technically MCU, but was written very early so borrows a lot of characters and canon from 616. Tony has to fake his death for reasons, angst ensues. 102k https://archiveofourown.org/works/507292

Though Your Face Is Lovely by @chibisquirt Noir!Tony ends up in MCU!verse. Cue jumping into bed with Steve and MCU!Tony extreme jealousy! MCU SteveTony is endgame. 14k https://archiveofourown.org/works/10930653

He Knows More Than You Do by ChibiSquirt Pretty much 35k of cracky porn with feelings. A lot of medical kink stuff, pay attention to tags. 35k https://archiveofourown.org/works/11683599

If the Words Are True by @msermesth Someone leaks old love letters from Steve to another man to the press. Tony helps deal with the aftermath. 10k https://archiveofourown.org/works/11249832

For the Wheel's Still in Spin by Arukou A retelling of early canon, Steve’s months after getting thawed and the Battle of NY, and how the Avengers slowly became a team. 57k https://archiveofourown.org/works/2680208

Binary System by scaramouche 13k https://archiveofourown.org/works/19077304

In a Different Light by marinarusalka 20k https://archiveofourown.org/works/542966

Here's Looking At You by mariana_oconnor I love post-Avengers Tony learning to see Steve for who he really is, and not just the hero from history. 12k https://archiveofourown.org/works/19349692

Fireside ‘verse by @gotthesilver A very real and human look at a post-Endgame world where Steve & Tony can’t quit each other, but Tony still has a family. Love is complicated and messy. 29k https://archiveofourown.org/series/1429378

we must love one another and die by @theappleppielifestyle Tony realizes Steve was frozen when Lord of the Rings came out, leading to mutual bonding, book club, and lots of Frodo-related Steve feels. Don’t miss this one, it’s phenomenal. 14k https://archiveofourown.org/works/20168623

~Playing the part (remix) by nanasekei (@elcorhamletlive) A fake marriage post-CW fix-it? Sign me the fuck up! 10k https://archiveofourown.org/works/20330893

~All the Love You Hold and Hide by Mireille Fuck-or-Die trope with feeeeeelings! 17k https://archiveofourown.org/works/14402436

#stony fic #stevetony fic #stony #stony fic rec #stevetony #streclist #added a few more summaries and tags #I'M GETTING THERE

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solaciummeae · 6 years ago

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{ Laws of the Land: }

Please read these before interacting. (:

My blog is PRIVATE. Typically I prefer to write with MUTUALS ONLY but I am currently open to NEW INTERACTIONS. I usually write && talk with someone OOC for a while BEFORE FOLLOWING to make sure we vibe.

I’m HIGHLY SELECTIVE with PARTNERS/FOLLOWS. I’m trying maintain a cleaner dash this time around. sidenote: When choosing partners: Literacy is a thing. I understand typos but basic spelling and grammar are easier to manage than trying to mentally fix things as I go. I DO understand language barriers. But BOTTOM LINE: If I can’t understand what just happened in your post, I can’t reply adequately because I have nothing to go from. I also prefer people who are dedicated and interested in writing detailed plots. Moving the story along.

By stating that I am PRIVATE: I reserve the right to work on the things that speak to me the most at any given time. I’ve had a lot of stress this year && this is a coping thing for me. I will write what I have MUSE for. Typically I will NOT start something unless I know I have MUSE for it to avoid dropping THREADS && INTERACTIONS. I’m simply focusing on things that I have the most juice for. sidenote: This means that while I have a ridiculous number MUSES && VERSES, I’ll be sticking pretty close to my MOST ACTIVE LIST unless we have heavily established PLOTS && CONNECTIONS OR I have explicitly offered to give you a MUSE OR VERSE that is NOT on the MOST ACTIVE LIST. I post this list regularly, it’s easy to find on my blog.

My blog is currently on LOW ACTIVITY temporarily. There are a lot of things going on in my life right now. I am trying to be on as much as possible. However, I won’t be here 24/7, nor am I obligated to THREAD/POST/TALK all the time. It is not personal. I was just diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis && have existing severe mental illness. Some days just suck.

IMPORTANT: I have roughly 230 muses, 40+ verses, my blog is ALWAYS under construction. These projects are my passion, that’s why I have them. Don’t be a jerk and tell me maybe I should cut back. I operate how I operate.

My writing is PG-13 to Mature. It’s not always this way but violence, explicit language, substance use, etc. happen here. NSFW of all kinds. I’m 28 and will only write with adult partners. So 18+ only on this blog. IMPORTANT: I will NOT write SMUT with others. It may happen occasionally in drabbles I write. But not in threads. I don’t mind sexual references, headcanons, jokes, etc. But no threading with NSFW language. Fade to black for me.

The length of my writing tends to fluctuate. Para to multi-para mostly. You do NOT have to match me because sometimes I might not completely match you. Just how it is. Sidenote: Do NOT give me one or two sentences if I gave you a solid paragraph. It makes it really difficult to adequately reply. I might write a one liner starter, but it will ALWAYS grow.

On the topic of ORIGINAL VERSES && MY POST SERIES FANDOM VERSES: I welcome anyone to take part in my ORIGINAL VERSES or my POST SERIES FANDOM VERSES. PLEASE DO, that’s why I created them. However, do NOT steal my verses or post series for your plots. I work extremely hard to WORLD BUILD and develop these complex plotlines. DO NOT STEAL THEM && certainly DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR THEM. I do not mind if you and another person involved in that verse or post series with me write for the verse or plot but do NOT just openly steal them && start writing them with other people I don’t even know. I work my ass off for this stuff. Don’t be gross.

GRAPHICS IN THREADS: I use ICONS &&GIF ICONS. They keep it cleaner looking && more accessible. IMPORTANT: I have a very large number of UNDERUSED FACECLAIMS. For this reason, DRY POSTING WILL BE A THING. I’m working to make resources, but it takes time. IMPORTANT: I AM HERE FOR THE WRITING NOT THE GRAPHICS. I should already know what your muse looks like if I’ve seen a picture and likewise, you can find pictures of mine. NOTE: If my muse has no resources, I will post a pre-designed icon of them at the beginning of the thread so you know what they look like. After which it will be dry threading.

I would hope that you would have ideas of your own. It works much better if we can feed off of each other and really go back and forth with plots than things being one sided. Sadly, this has happened to me a lot. Sidenote: We don’t have to come up with something first but it would be nice if there was an idea. However, I won’t ever turn away an intriguing starter with no back story. Though, I might ask questions to make my reply as accurate as possible.

DO NOT GODMOD. I should be the only one controlling my character. I really hate when people assume they know my character and get them all wrong. Or even insinuate some prior history I never agreed to. Sounds ridiculous? It’s happened. If there’s a time it’s needed, shoot me an IM. I’m totally good with that.

I’m EXTREMELY SELECTIVE when it comes to ROMANTIC SHIPPING. I’ve been burned way too many times. My muses are my babies. If they aren’t feeling it. I am not going to force it on them. You can find ALL of my MUSES romantic preferences on my MUSE DIRECTORIES including if they’re romantic shippable or not. I have several who are CLOSED. Chemisty. Chemistry. Chemistry.

IMPORTANT: I AM NOT HERE JUST TO ROMANTIC SHIP. I’m tired of only ever heterosexual romantic shipping– especially with my MALES. Come to me with bromance, familial, platonic, or enemy. I’m always looking for new connections to my muses. It helps them grow as people.

IMPORTANT: I heavily prefer LGBT+ romantic ships at this point especially as a queer writer myself. I’m real over the heteronormativity. If you come to me with a queer pairing I’m far more likely try it out.

IMPORTANT: Please give my FEMALES as much attention as you give my MALES. I’ve tried closing my MALES. I still get used for them. Especially to romantic ship. Treat my FEMALES the way you’d want yours to be treated. I’m always down for F/F interactions so we both win. I truly love female muses, I simply wanna get to use mine too.

Drama is pretty much a must, in the sense of the plot. I’ve had people tell me they don’t like it and that’s fine but without things happening, the story doesn’t really progress. IMPORTANT: However! NO DRAMA OOC. I worked with middle school kids for half a decade so my bullshit meter is super low. No OOC drama. No HATE. I DO have the following TRIGGERS: incest, rape, sexual assault of any kind, romanticizing the devil.

The first three are self explanatory. However the fourth has become really common with shows like Lucifer in existence. For personal reasons, treating the devil like he’s a cool guy is really triggering for me. I understand that his character from Supernatural is very popular. However, romanticizing him, making him seem like he’s “not actually a bad guy.” like he’s just “misunderstood.” or even “falling in love with the devil.” I can’t handle. If you’re writing him as a villain or enemy that’s perfectly fine. It’s really just the threads and content that romanticizes him that really really triggers me.

I’m asking that these things be tagged: tw: incest, tw: rape, tw: sexual assault, tw: devil friendly.

NOTE: If I ever post anything you need tagged with a trigger that I haven’t, please don’t hesitate to ask. If it makes you uncomfortable I don’t want you to have to see it. Typically I don’t post traditionally triggering content. But just in case, let me know.

Last but certainly not least, I’M HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS. Seriously. I want to get to know you OOC. You guys are my friends and I care about you very much. I love chatting. Likewise, I can make a great soundboard. If you need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate. You guys are so important to me. I’ve been on Tumblr roleplaying for about five years. But I’ve been roleplaying for about 13 years total. And some of my closest friends have come from writing with others.

These have been updated as of 10/08/19. I tried to make them more streamline and I really do appreciate you reading them. It makes writing together easier. If I find out you didn’t read them before interacting I will be less inclined to write with you. I read all rules before I follow someone or write with them so I expect the same courtesy. They are here for a reason.

Thank you!

💜💜💜💜💜

#outofthisworld #these have been HEAVILY redone and updated #I'm posting them due to the edits as well as for new followers and mutuals #rules #important #about: blog

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