#I need to figure out the rest of the body again

[dollarbils]

i’ll show you how | b.eilish

billie eilish x fem!reader

context. you’ve been hesitant to engage sexually with your girlfriend, billie, but she assures you you’ll be alright.

warnings. smut, praise, fluff, virgin!reader

masterlist

she’d been touchy all day, her intentions clear. she wasn’t subtle with what she wanted and you’d love to satisfy her needs, you just didn’t know how.

“you look so beautiful, baby.” the compliments had been flooding out of her. and not that they didn’t drive you nuts, it was just a silent reminder of your inexperience.

“thank you, love.” she smiled, before joining you on the couch, closing the book you were currently reading and setting it aside somewhere, so that she could straddle your hips.

“billie-” a small protest fell from your lips before she shut you up with her index finger. her lips met yours as she pecked them, again and again, a small smile growing on yours.

“you’re awfully affectionate today, babe.” she giggled at the comment before moving her lips down your jaw, slowly travelling across your neck. you sighed, content, as your hands caressed the curves that blessed her figure.

“calm down, sweetheart.” she commented on your quickened breaths before tugging on your shirt, waiting for your approval to take it off. she soon unclasped your bra, letting your tits spill out.

“mm, billie.” she smirked against your skin as she bit and nipped the area around your nipple. her hands were resting dangerously close to the waistband of your sweatpants, and when she lowered her face down your stomach, you grew nervous and sat up.

“wait billie..” she raised her eyebrows, and moved closer to you.

“what’s wrong? if you don’t want this right now that’s perfectly fine, baby.” her eyes were wide with concern, a soft smile spread on her lips.

“no it’s not that i don’t want this, it’s just-” you hesitated, slightly embarrassed of your inexperience, knowing she had had plenty.

“babe, if you’re trying to tell me your a virgin, that’s totally okay.” she seemed somewhat amused.

“well yeah.” she pecked your lips when you admitted it.

“that’s so hot, you have no idea.” your collective laughter warmed your heart, a weight lifted off of your chest completely as it eased your nerves.

“are you sure, i mean, i don’t know how to really do anything.” she just smiled, finding it cute that you had the courage to admit your inexperience.

“i’ll show you how.”

“what the fuck!” she had picked you up out of nowhere, bridal style, quite clearly showing off her strength.

“i’m not taking your virginity on the couch.” she replied, pushing her bedroom door open before laying you down gently, on the bed. when she made a move to take of her own shirt she paused.

“you’re sure about this?” she looked for any hesitation on your features.

“yes. i want this. i want you.” she grinned, her hands firm on your hips when she kissed you. she traced your body gently, careful with her movements as if she thought you’d break.

“i’ve been waiting so long for this, baby.” she mumbled against your lips, leaving wet kisses along your jaw. her fingers trailed the skin around your breasts, moving towards your nipples before she paused her actions.

“is this okay?” she asked as if it was the first time she’d touched you.

“bils, you’ve sucked my tits before, this isn’t new to me.” you chuckled and she chewed her lip.

“but it’s different this time.” despite having had the hesitation, she latched her lips on to your nipple, abandoning her tenderness for a moment.

“mm, fuck.” she smiled, continuing what she was doing for a few minutes before kissing her way up your chest, and back to your lips.

“i love you, and if you want me to stop, please tell me.” she was so sweet with her words, her thumbs warming your cheeks as she held your face so softly.

“i love you, and i trust you.” she nodded and rested her forehead against yours, looking into your eyes.

“it’s a trust well placed, baby.” she kissed you again. as if the feeling of your lips were all she could ask for, her mischievous smile making it harder to focus. when she pulled away her lips were plump, slightly reddened and all the more inviting.

“what?” she asked, when she’d noticed you staring.

“nothing, i’m just happy with you.” she dropped her head onto your chest, groaning. her hair tickled your neck, drawing out giggles.

“you have no idea, baby.” her words were slurred as she dragged her lips across your skin. you could feel your nerves growing as she lowered herself closer to your heat.

“relax.” she kissed your lower stomach, looking up at you for approval to remove your jeans. once they were discarded, piled up somewhere along with her top, she admired you, in just your underwear.

“so pretty.” you felt yourself blush, and when she began tracing your thighs, you surrendered yourself completely to her touch. her jewelry contrasted the warmth of her hands perfectly, letting you focus on the feeling.

“billie.” you called softly, her head shooting to find your eyes immediately.

“hm?” she looked like a dear in headlights, awfully scared she’d moved to quickly, making you uncomfortable somehow.

“come closer.” her spooked expression faded as she returned a soft smile, lowering her body onto yours, burying her head in your neck.

“is this okay?” she whispered near your ear, as her fingertips traced the fabric of your underwear, forming a little wet patch.

“mhm.” your head was spinning already, this having been the first time anyone, other than yourself, had touched you like this, seen you this vulnerable before. and when her fingers went past your underwear and into your pussy, your eyes shot open, a silent moan elicited from your throat.

“god, i know they say virgins get wet easily but this has gotta be some kind of record, babe.” her fingers slid through your folds with ease, rubbing against all the right places.

“mm, fuck.” she swallowed the following moans with her lips against yours again as she pressed down on your clit with her thumb, in small and slow circles.

“you’re okay?” she confirmed with you, her face still inches from yours as she circled your entrance, practically waiting until she could pounce.

“more than okay.” she kissed you again, sliding one of her fingers into your tight little hole, your eyes shutting abruptly, your mouth nearly running dry. she eased that feeling with her tongue however, waiting a moment before thrusting her finger in and out, slow and steady.

“you’re so tight, baby. so perfect for me.” her words of praise flew straight to your heat, choked moans and whimpers letting her know she was doing all the right things to get you going.

“need to taste you, that alright?” she moved away from you, and just moments after you nodded a silent ‘mhm’, her breath was on your clit. and when her tongue wrapped around it, already swollen and puffy, she pumped her second finger into your entrance. your hands flew to her head, pulling harshly at her hair, looking for any kind of solace.

“fuck, billie!” you felt your climax approaching quickly, the knot in your stomach no doubt going to burst at any second. and when it did, when you came, everything was forgotten. you’re body arched into her, almost riding her face, and clenching around her fingers as you reached your high.

“oh my god.” your breaths where quick as your chest rose and fell rapidly. she slowly removed her fingers, licking your cum off of them, smirking down at you.

“glad to be of service.” she quipped, lifting herself off the bed, to go and grab a towel to clean you up.

“thank you.” she dismissed the gratitude, mumbling about common decency as she wiped you clean.

“do i get a cake now with the big red strike across virgin?” she laughed, picturing it in her head.

“i’ll throw you a damn party if it means we can do that again.” she smiled, pecking your lips again, the faint taste of your arousal still present.

“it’s a date,” you winked at her and she smiled, “you’ll have to show me how to do that to you.”

this took me AGES i don’t know why, that’s also why you’re not really getting a proper ending or a proofread 🥰

still love you lots though 😘

taglist: @adinda-eilish @ijustlovemaths @sweetcherriexs @jaxon-nathaniel-drake @mybluebossanova @diceroll65 @tothediner @st0nerlesb0 @bilssturns @london-uhmye @bxllxebxtch @tan1shere @babybornbluenow @greenbttrflyy @asterisk-eyes

[aangelinakii]

SAYING SOMETHING STUPID.

— and then you go and spoil it all.

summary : you and jason have been dating for a year, and although both of you know it, neither of you have said the dreaded L word. what happens when, accidentally, the truth comes out?

note : technically zimtsterne are christmas cookies so pretend like this is a christmas time fic

despite the countless beatings he took each and every night, jason's forearm was already beginning to ache. you had him whisking egg whites until they looked like snowy mountains, but not too mountainous, you'd said.

"where did you find this recipe again?" he hummed, not wanting to take his eyes off the bowl he was attempting to whisk at a flash-speed. beside him at the counter, of which he'd stepped away from to allow you more space, you were mixing ground almonds, cinnamon and powdered sugar into a dough. "what even is a zim— zimt—"

"zimtsterne."

"yeah, that."

"i found it online," you responded, barely taking your eyes off your almost-mixture. once jason would whisk the egg whites into soft peaks, you'd add half to your dough and it would be ready to cut into star shapes.

"online?" jason snickered, bumping your hip lightly with his. "you heard it on that game you play, didn't you? what was it again... choices?"

before you could get a handle on yourself, your eyes rolled almost back into your head. at this, you whipped your head over your shoulder to cast a very meaningful look to your boyfriend. "i only play it to get diamonds. i don't even use them, i just want to reach ten thousand just in case."

"how many do you have now?" he asked in return, looking back down at his white foamy mixture.

with a soft munch on the gum of your cheek, you turned back to your own bowl sheepishly. "more than ten thousand."

from behind, jason's warm laugh hummed through the kitchen. soft footsteps approached from behind, and his broad figure ghosted against your back. at once, a muscular arm, as well as his bowl, came into your vision. "this good enough?"

in the bowl, much faster than you would've been able to, jason had whisked the three egg whites cracked in there into soft peaks, leaving a little fluffy curl when you pulled the metal whisk out of the mixture. "perfect!" you grinned in return, taking the bowl in your own hands and scooping half the egg whites into what you'd so far made from the ground almonds.

watching you scoop and mix, scoop and mix, jason leaned back against the counter, hands resting on the edge, the veins pronounced on the back of the hand he'd used to whisk. "you're not gonna ask me to do any more whisking, are you?"

a soft chuckle brushed past your lips as you placed the bowl of egg whites back on the counter, and resumed stirring the zimtsterne mixture. "not today, you lucky boy," which earned an uncertain smile from jason.

"i liked that," he hummed bashfully.

"what, being lucky boy?"

jason gave an uncharacteristic laugh, his body swaying slightly against the counter. "maybe."

when you'd started dating, jason todd had never been an outwardly affectionate type; it took a few months for him to finally be willing to hold your hand in public. he was so used to suppressing his feelings, his affections, that it was certainly a challenge to get him to unlearn certain behaviours. now, a good year in, jason was getting more and more comfortable being the person he truly was.

still, at times, you weren't used to that person, hidden under years of trauma and dirt and grit.

but here he was, presenting himself to you in his cupped hands.

with a laugh matching his own, you paused your stirring for a moment to look up at him. "no more whisking, but i need you to get a tray, put a piece of parchment paper on it, and sprinkle some powdered sugar on the counter."

obedient like a dog gone soft, you could hear the clashing of pots and pans and opening and closing of cupboards behind you, until the cooking tray was placed on the counter beside your bowl, where the batter was coming along nicely.

jason tore off a square bit of parchment paper, and lay it upon the tray, where the corners curled, but otherwise stayed on, then he peeled open the bag of powder sugar. "how much do i put?" he asked, glancing over at you, hand hovering above the flour.

"not too much just yet, but we'll probably have to add more later."

and so his hand disappeared into the bag, and when it reappeared, he sprinkled a good serving of sugar along the countertop.

"perfect," you hummed once again. "next what we're gonna do is take the batter and press it down, then use the star cut-outs."

"we have to put our hands in that?" jason groaned, although playfully, you knew.

with a casual shrug, you began digging your hand into the zimtsterne mixture and pulled out a chunk to roll into a ball in your palms. "i mean, i could always do it by myself — if baking is too difficult for you."

a massive shoulder came into view, and jason's hand dunked into the bowl. "hell no! i can bake."

eyes closely watching the movement of your hands, jason rolled the amount of dough into a ball between his palms. then, once you'd placed your dough on the powdered sugar, pressed it down with the heel of your palm, jason followed suit.

you reached across the counter for the small star cutter, and sunk it down into the dough. "and... there! it's a little cinnamony star."

despite the grit and sheer size of him, in your company, jason todd was small, all soft touches and blush along cheeks.

as you carefully placed your star atop the parchment paper, jason took the small metal cutter in his calloused fingers, skilled in pulling the trigger.

he was careful as he pushed the cutter into the dough, glancing over at you a couple times as though he were doing something wrong.

somehow reading his mind, you reached over, hands placing them atop of his, spreading them in the muck of the dough you'd made, though jason didn't seem to mind; he'd had worse on his hands. "you're doing great," you smiled softly. "to get a clean cut you need to shake it a bit now."

and, with a laugh, your grip on jason's hands tightened slightly, and you helped jiggle the star cutter, separating his little biscuit from the rest of the dough, which you could reuse for another zimtsterne star.

a breath brushing past your ear, jason gave that kind, boyish laugh, and when you glanced over your shoulder, his eyes had halved into crescents, little moon shining down on the kitchen. "this is the strangest thing i've ever done."

perpetual smile by his side, you pulled away and tore the remaining dough from around the cookie cutter, pressing it into a sugared mound to be used again. "put that one next to my star on the tray," you ordered, although kind. "i'm gonna put more sugar down."

with ginger movements, jason lay his dough zimtsterne star down upon the parchment paper, a few inches from the one you'd made. eyeing him for a moment, to make sure his biscuit was far enough away from yours, you dunked your hand into the pink bag of icing sugar.

with a soft smile you made a nice comment on jason's placement; he was just about to reply when everything went white.

it must've caught through the gaps in your fingers while you weren't looking, must've been more than you'd meant to grab, for the powdered sugar hit the sleek countertop, and jumped back up in a whisp.

jason donned a white tuft of hair in his raven normally, but when the sugary fog began to clear, you could barely tell where the original streak ended and where it began.

your powder-covered hand shot to your agape mouth. "holy— that was an accident, i swear!"

his emerald eyes blinked open, sending some more snow-white dust into the air as it bounced off his eyelashes.

in one swift swoop, jason reached up to his blizzard of hair, and stretched out his hand over your face. you didn't need a mirror to know you probably looked like a snowman slapped you — but this action only caused room for ammunition, your dropped jaw setting and clenching as you pulled your arm back and launched.

the remnants of icing sugar in your palm exploded through the air, and whatever didn't land on the floor or counter (and most of the parchment paper) certainly his jason.

you could see in the way he lurched forward, but halted himself, that he was purposely holding back; you'd seen the way he would react when dick or tim tried to one-up him at the dinner table at the wayne family dinners you'd been brought to, or when training. his instincts are primal.

but, beneath the avalanche of icing sugar, his lips thinned. letting out a small sigh, jason shook his head, sending powdered sugar down onto the counter, where you could make your next zimtsterne star.

he gave a joking scoff. "you should be grateful i love you, or else this whole kitchen would be white."

it was a one-off sentence, supposed to be casual as he took the mound of dough in his hand to press flat against the monstrosity of sugar on the countertop. but it caused you to freeze, right in your place, hand gripping the edge of the counter falling slack.

jason hadn't seemed to notice.

he continued palming the dough until it was flat, but thick enough to be carved into a star, and reached for the cutter, content smile etched into his white powdery face.

"what did you say?"

your voice, however, was small.

even after a year now, neither of you had said the words he just had; you knew he had issues with attachment and relationships, so you supposed it just had never crossed your mind that he would... love you.

jason glanced up casually, shaking the star-shaped cookie cutter and placing down the new biscuit on the tray with the others. "oh, i was just saying that you're lucky, because if you were timothy drake, it would be over."

"no, no, you didn't say that." two steps forward, small, uncertain, but curious, aching to hear it again, make sure you weren't dreaming.

you placed a hand on his elbow, urging him to turn and look at you, which left a snowy handprint along his flesh. once he had carefully pushed the dough onto the tray, he placed the metal cut-out back on the counter and turned. "maybe not verbatim, but that's what i meant."

seeing the urgent look in your eyes, his smile faltered, but the lines it had made remained in the sugar.

"you said... you said you love me."

as the words left your lips, jason's eyes widened, and his body shuddered as if to stagger away from you, but your grip on his elbow tightened and didn't allow him.

"jason, is that true?"

beneath the powdered sugar, his bottom lip gave a tremour. "i... i guess i did say that."

your thumb brushed carefully over the bone of his elbow. "it's okay if it's true, i just want to know." trying to convince him he was safe — that you were safe — your voice softened, and you forced your body out of its initial shock.

but he didn't respond, only lips thinning, stare remaining still, like he'd been caught out on a really bad lie.

"i think so," he mused quietly, almost... afraid?

instinctively, your grip tightened once more upon his elbow, and you leaned in, eyebrows raised, a smile widening by the moment. "you love me?" it was spoken more like a song, more like it were an accomplishment than a question.

jason's bottom lip quivered, and when he spoke he sounded rather shaky, but he put on a brave, sugar-covered face. "is there– is there a problem with that?"

not minding the powder on your hands — and you hoped he wouldn't either — you leapt forward, engulfing his tough frame with a hug so tight it was possible all the knots in his back unwound at your touch. jason stumbled back, one sugared arm finding the small of your back and the other taking hold of the counter's edge to stabilise him.

sugar dusted itself along his breastbone, where you pressed your face into him. "oh, i didn't want to scare you away, or say anything i shouldn't," you began, voice extraordinarily muffled, until you pulled away to finish, gazing into his eyes, the only colour besides white on his face. "but i love you, jason. i really, really love you."

feeling suddenly shy at your sudden confession, your fingers toyed absently with the fabric of jason's once-black shirt, and your teeth sank awkwardly into your bottom lip.

but jason didn't hide away; he didn't contort into fear or anger. instead, his body sunk into yours, a warmth comparible to that of the pre-heated oven behind you. any uncertainty in those brilliant eyes of his seeped out through the corners, creating a coccoon of watery sugar beneath his lashes.

one of your hands came away from his back, and lay itself upon his cheek. an equally as powdery thumb swiped carefully beneath his eye — jason didn't even flinch.

all he could think was how stupid he was to have ruined the moment, not even thinking as he spoke, but also that he had finally admitted it out loud, and that you had reciprocated without any semblance of hesitation.

[mapis-putellas]

𝑴𝒊𝒔𝒅𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅/𝑨.𝒑𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒔

This didn’t come out as good as I wanted, so I apologise <3

Alexia didn’t like it when you gave her the silent treatment. She liked it even less when you wouldn’t tell her why. You’d been ignoring her since the second she got back from training, and that had been nearly two hours ago. There had been no greeting at the front door. No hug. Not even a kiss. You had barely even acknowledged her existence, and Alexia had no idea why.

She wracked her mind as she showered, trying to figure out if there was an important date she’d missed or if today had any particular significance. But there was nothing. It was just a regular Tuesday. As far as she knew, today held no importance to you and it certainly held no importance to her. So what was going on?

Her mind ran through every possible scenario as she got out of the shower and changed, slipping into one of your hoodies in an effort to feel a little closer to you. You were fine this morning. You’d woken up together, as usual. You’d been intimate, you’d showered, and then you’d cooked breakfast before she’d left for training and you’d left for work.

That was about as perfect as a morning together could get, so it had to have been something that happened after, right? But how was she supposed to know that for sure when you wouldn’t talk to her? How was she to blame for that when she hadn’t even been there?

The thing was, both you and Alexia thrived on communication. Neither of you liked being upset with the other, and it was often you who believed in talking through everything. Even when things were hard. Even when things were uncomfortable.

It was why you so rarely argued or fought. You always talked it out. So what was different now? Why wouldn’t you talk to her?

She came to a stop in the living room threshold, brushing a wet strand of hair out of her face as before tucking her hands into the pockets of her -your- hoodie. You were on the couch, curled up beneath a blanket watching tv. From the angle the couch was placed, Alexia knew you knew she was there, and she silently pleaded for you to look her way. To acknowledge her. But you don’t. You continue staring at the tv, even as Alexia made her way over and sat down on the couch a couple feet away from you.

She reached out, tentatively brushing her fingers lightly against your ankle, hoping to draw your attention, but you only pulled your leg away. She tried to pretend it didn’t sting. She swallowed heavily as she exhaled through her nose, pulling her hand back, trying to ignore the way her vision became blurry as she stared at the tv. Her hands, resting on her thighs, trembled slightly as she toyed with the cuffs of the hoodie. She chanced a glance at you, but you were still looking at the tv.

Alexia blinked then, and a single tear fell down her cheek, tickling her skin in its wake. It dripped past her jawline and into her hoodie, slightly marking the material. Another followed shortly after. Then another. And another, until she was silently crying. She didn’t wipe them away, not wanting to draw attention to herself. She didn’t want you to finally acknowledge her just because she was crying. Pity was the last thing she needed.

Eventually, she had no choice but to sniffle slightly so her nose didn’t start running, and from the corner of her eye, she see’s your head whip around to face her at an almost comical speed. A part of her wanted to meet your eyes, because finally, finally she was getting the acknowledgement she’d been wanting since she’d gotten home. But she couldn’t quite bring herself to do so, because quite honestly, she was scared of what she’d see.

She heard you sigh lightly as you shoved the blanket off of your legs, tossing it to the side before crawling over to her. Her eyes remained stubbornly glued to the tv as she felt your body press lightly against her own, your head resting against her shoulder. She sniffled again, hesitating for just a second before she leaned her head against your own.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, turning your head slightly to press a kiss to her arm.

Alexia nodded, honestly not quite sure what she was supposed to say.

You sighed again, eyes closing for a brief moment. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Ale. It’s just…a bad day.”

“You ignore me because you have a bad day?” Alexia whispered, and you hated the sound of hurt that lingered in her voice. You swallowed thickly as you wrapped your arm around her waist, internally grateful when she didn’t pull away.

“I’m sorry,” you said again. “Really. I’m sorry. It’s just…misplaced anger, I guess. I’m not mad at you, but you were just…there.”

Alexia was silent for a second. “Why are you angry?” She whispered.

You shrugged. “I don’t know.” You admit. “I’ve just…felt wrong all day.”

“I don’t understand.” You felt her shift beneath you slightly, and you look down to see her fisting the sleeves of her hoodie in her hands.

“I know,” you murmured, the guilt in your stomach amplifying by a thousand. You placed your hand over her own, squeezing softly. “I don’t either. Not really. But I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ignored you.”

“No,” she whispered, voice breaking. “You shouldn’t.” You look up at her just in time to see a couple of tears stream down her cheeks.

“What can I do, Ale?” You reached up to wipe them away, the pad of your thumb now trailing over the damp skin of her cheek. You pretend it didn’t kill you a little inside when she pulled away from your touch.

She looked hesitantly down at you, almost as though she was checking for a reaction. “I do not know.” She admitted.

You nodded, bottom lip trapped softly between your teeth as a somewhat uncomfortable silent settled over you both. You shifted a little against her shoulder, but neither of you pulled away from each other. In fact, you tightened your hold around her waist, terrified she’d push you away even though you probably deserved it.

“I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” You assured after a few quiet moments, and though Alexia didn’t say anything, you do feel her nod, her cheek brushing the top of your head.

The rest of the afternoon passed pretty uneventfully. Alexia was quiet, to no fault of her own, and you tried your best to be extra attentive despite your still souring mood. You let her put on the football without complaint despite the fact you’d rather watch anything else. (You liked watching her play in person, sure, because it was Alexia and you loved watching her in her element no matter what it was she was doing, but watching it at home with people you couldn’t care less about? Less fun, but you kept your mouth shut.)

You made her favourite dinner, something you didn’t do too often considering the time it took and the extensive clean up process afterwards.

By the time bedtime rolled around, things were less…tense so to speak. Alexia was still quiet, but she leaned into your affection and actually laughed at the jokes you were trying to make as opposed to humouring you with a fake smile. You could tell she’d forgiven you for how you’d acted, but you weren’t quite done making it up to her yet.

She deserved more than just basic human decency.

Tomorrow was one of her off days, and whilst she usually preferred spending those at home with you -you didn’t get much free time together, so she liked to make the most of it- you had a plan up your sleeve. Alexia loved going on hikes. If given the chance, that’s probably what she’d spend all of her free time doing, but her schedule just didn’t allow it. She was busy all the time. Constantly on the go with matches, training, media. That wasn’t even mentioning away games that took her away from you for days at a time.

You, on the other hand, could not hate anything more. You weren’t as fit as Alexia, not even close, so you often struggled with things she did with ease. You got sweaty. Out of breath. And you complained, a lot. Not intentionally. And she never got mad at you for it. But you could tell it bothered her, not being able to enjoy something she loved with you.

And so tomorrow, you were going to hike with her. You were going to go wherever the hell she liked and you weren’t going to voice a single world complaint or distaste.

*

The next morning, you woke before your alarm. Alexia was still out next to you, lying on her stomach with the sheets pooled at the waist, exposing a sliver of the bare, tanned skin of her back. Her arms were holding her pillow to her chest, and soft, barely audible snores were escaping her slightly parted lips.

You reached forward, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear as you leaned down to press your lips to her forehead. The kiss lingered for a few moments before you pulled away, tugging the blankets up to cover her properly before sliding out of bed.

You got ready as silently as you could, slipping into a pair of leggings and sports bra, pairing it with an oversized shirt that you tied at the waist to fit better. You packed lunch, slipping it into the fridge to keep cool whilst you focused on breakfast. Pancakes and coffee, her favourite on rest days. Table set, you headed back to yours and Alexia’s shared bedroom, pushing the door open and peeking inside.

You smiled when you saw she was still asleep, now lying on her back with her arms above her head. Her head was facing you, and as you got closer, you could see the way her eyelashes fluttered as she dreamed. Her nose would twitch occasionally too, and your smile widened as you climbed onto the bed, throwing a leg over her waist and carefully settling to straddle her hips.

Alexia stirred immediately, her arms moving down to rest on either side of her body. She scrunched her face up, obviously unhappy at the interruption to her sleep, and you laughed softly as you leaned forward to rest your elbows just above her shoulders. You reached forward slightly and trailed the backs of your fingers over her cheek. It was warm to the touch, and you hummed as you pressed a kiss to the corner of her lips.

No reaction.

“Baby…” you mused, leaning forward to kiss her again. This time, she turned her face away from you, and though she tried to hide it, you didn’t miss the way her lips quirked up just slightly at the corners. Ahh. So she was awake.

“I saw that,” you murmured, the smile audible in your voice. “Come on, my love. I made you breakfast. Your favourite.”

Nothing. Not even a twitch.

“There’s coffee too.” You try and tempt, but much to your dismay, she remained still.

“Alexia…come on baby. It’s going to get cold.”

Silence, though her lips do twitch again.

“Okay, so you’re going to be difficult, huh?” You laughed, sitting up and sliding off of her. “I can work with that.” You murmured to yourself, shaking out your arms before sliding your arms beneath her back and hauling her up into a sitting position. You then bend at the waist, using the momentum to throw her over your shoulder, blankets and all.

“Amor!” She squawked, now face to face with your ass as her hands scramble for purchase against your T-shirt.

You bounced her up slightly, your arms looped around her thighs as you begin making your way out of the room. “I tried nicely, baby. You asked for this.”

“I ask for nothing!” She cried.

You didn’t dignify that with a response.

“Put me down, now!” She demanded, adding emphasis to the last word by slapping your butt. Hard. The sound of her palm making contact with you echoed throughout the hallway.

It was your turn to yelp. “Ow! Don’t hit me, you tyrant.”

“Then put me down, amor! Now!”

You only complied because you were in the kitchen. You set her down in front of you, your hands trailing up her body as you did. She glared at you as your hands came to rest on the small of her back beneath her shirt, her face red. She tried and failed to hide the way her lips threaten to quirk up into a smile.

“You are trouble,” she grumbled, and you simply grinned as you pressed a kiss to her nose.

“You love me.” You shrugged, reaching round her to pull out her chair. “Now eat up. I have a surprise for you.”

Alexia raised an eyebrow as she sat down and allowed you to push her closer to the table. “Surprise?” She picked up her coffee and took a tentative sip.

“Sí,” you confirmed, kissing the top of her head as you sat down opposite her. “I won’t give much away, but it’s something you love doing.”

“You?” She grinned, and you snorted in amusement as you reached for your own drink. “No, but maybe later if you’re lucky.” You nudge her with your foot beneath the table.

Alexia hummed a little, hiding her smile by taking another sip of her drink. “Bien.”

You rolled your eyes fondly. “You know the hike Mapi and Ingrid mentioned going on last week?”

Alexia’s eyes light up. Her eyes drifted down to your outfit, almost as though she’d just taken note of what you were wearing. “Sí?”

“You wanna go?” You ask, picking up your fork.

“Contigo?” She leaned forward in her seat slightly.

“Sí. With me.” You confirmed. “We can have a picnic at the top too. I’ve already packed the food.”

Alexia’s eyes flicker over to the refrigerator. “Really?”

“Really,” you nod, and Alexia, seemingly unable to help herself, grinned in excitement as she set down her coffee and goes to stand up.

“Hey, no.” You stop her, reaching out a hand.

Alexia froze midway to her feet, looking at you sheepishly.

“Breakfast first, baby.” You gestured to her untouched pancakes.

“But-“ she pouted, looking longingly to the bedroom.

You shook your head. You were glad she was excited, but you didn’t want her going on a hike on an empty stomach. Knowing your luck, she’d end up passing out or something. “Breakfast.” You said again.

“Fine.” She grumbled, pouting as she dropped back down in her seat and picked up her fork.

An hour and a half later, you were midway through your hike. Alexia was a few steps ahead of you, happily chatting away as she pointed out different things that caught her eye. You hummed in acknowledgment each time she glanced back at you for approval, forcing a smile into your face, but inside, you were slowly dying.

You insisted on carrying the backpack, which, now half an hour in, you were quickly regretting. It was heavy; filled with lunch, drinks, a small first aid kit which Alexia had insisted on bringing and who knew what else. You were sweaty, your legs burned, and you were pretty sure you had a blister. But, like you promised, you hadn’t uttered a single word of complaint. Not a single one.

You’d come close though. Several times, actually. Almost instinctively, your lips had parted, and something along the lines of a complaint had begun to slip out. But you’d managed to stop yourself, and Alexia had been none the wiser for which you were thankful.

But then, along came the rock. You were completely unaware of its presence, sticking out of the ground just a few feet ahead of you. You were too busy trying to keep up with your pro athlete of a girlfriend whilst simultaneously ignoring both the burning in your legs and lungs. One second, you were walking. Or, well, stumbling really. And the next, you were sprawled out on the ground, your hands in front of you in what you could only assume was a subconscious effort at protecting your face.

You laid there, bewildered, for approximately ten seconds before Alexia’s voice filled your ears.

“Amor, are you okay?” You feel her hand come to rest on your back.

You shifted a little, wiggling both your hands and feet. No pain. That was good.

“I’m..I’m okay,” you muttered, bracing yourself and pushing up onto your knees. You heaved a breath before forcing yourself to stand up, Alexia’s hands slipping under your arms to help you do so. Keeping her hold on you, she guided you away from the traitorous rock to a flatter part of the ground before letting you go and reaching for your hands.

“Let me see.” She murmured, and you swallowed thickly as you comply.

You wince a little when the pad of her thumb trailed over one of your palms, and she gave you an apologetic look as she reached up to pull the backpack off of your shoulders. You let her, watching as she crouched down and unzipped it before pulling out the first aid kit that was placed at the very top.

You supposed it was a good job she insisted on bringing it after all.

“Here bebé, hold out your hands.” She instructed as she stood back up, a bottle of water and gauze in her hands.

You thought it was a little overkill for a couple of scrapes in all honesty, but figure it was best to let her do what she thought was necessary. You wince only slightly as she wiped away the dirt and dried blood from your palms, giving them a few moments to air dry before covering them with two large bandaids. And then, without warning, she brought both of your hands to her lips and placed a lingering kiss to each.

Your smile was instant.

“Better?” She looked at you over the top of her sunglasses.

You nod, cheeks flushed a light shade of red. “Mhh, better. Gracias baby.”

She grinned. “De nada, amor.” She put the first aid kit back into the backpack before hosting it over her own shoulders. You don’t try and fight her, instead taking the hand she offered and allowing her to tug you forward.

A comfortable silence settled over you both as she absentmindedly swung your hands back and forth, and you find yourself letting out a quiet sigh of content as you trail your thumb over her knuckles. She squeezed your hand in response, and you instantly returned the gesture as you looked up at her.

She met your gaze, and her lips immediately quirk up in so a smile so genuine it made you melt a little. It also reignited the guilt over yesterday you thought had faded, and you let out another sigh as you looked down at your feet.

“You do not have to feel guilty, amor.” She broke the silence, and you look up at her immediately, eyes wide in shock.

How had she…

“I know you.” Is all she said.

You purse your lips contemplatively for a moment before speaking. “I hurt your feelings, Ale. Of course I’m going to feel guilty.”

She hummed. “Sí.” She agreed, and you bite your bottom lip as you look down at your feet. “But you apologise. You make it up to me, no?” She gave your hand a squeeze, silently coaxing you to look back at her, and you do. The look in her eyes was one full of love, understanding, and it eased the guilt just slightly.

“I’m trying.” You nod.

Alexia squeezed your hand again. “You were forgiven…Inmediatamente, amor. Te amo. It was easy.”

You gently eased her to a stop before coming to step in front of her, resting your hands on her hips. She stepped close, her own hands rising to cup your cheeks as you raised up onto your tiptoes and pressed your lips against her own. She let out a quiet exhale through her nose as she reciprocated, eyes fluttering closed as she pressed her chest flush against your own. You slid your hands round to rest at the small of her back, sliding up and down just slightly as her nose grazed your cheek.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Ale. Truly.” You murmured as you pulled away, and Alexia hummed as she brushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

“You were you. Simple.”

“I love you.”

“Te amo, amor.”

**

Tags:

@ceesimz @marysfics @girlgenius1111 @codiemarin @simp4panos @silentwolfsstuff @goldenempyrean @xxnaiaxx @liloandstitchstan @ktgoodmorning @chelseacult @totaly-obsessed

[xoxolilixx]

★𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙤𝙣𝙚★

𝙀𝙠𝙠𝙤 𝙭 𝙛𝙚𝙢!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

✩𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 - you help Ekko relax a little

✩𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙨 - Smut with plot, fingering, oral(reader receiving)

✩𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - heyyyy😅 ik it's been a while, I kinda disappeared off the face of the earth, MY BADDDDD😁 I figured since I've been gone for a good second, I should come back with a treat, so here you are lovebugs❤️ I hope you guys like it🩷🌺

Sweat trickled down his forehead as he worked. He was hunched over his desk, hands aching and mind clouded as he continued his repairs to his hoverboard. It was late –3 am to be exact– and Ekko’s been sleepless since the battle on the bridge with Jinx. You were worried about him. You knew how stressful this was for him; between failing to save his former best friend and making sure everything stays afloat with the firelights, he was basically drowning in his work and stress. Ekko was a relatively calm person, but whenever you tried to talk to him about everything, he would just shut down and push you away, so you learned to give him space, but tonight you couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’m surprised you haven’t frozen to stone like that,” you spoke softly, not wanting to startle him. His workshop door was cracked open and all the lights except for the one that sat right above his desk were dimmed. “...you should be asleep,” he whispered, not looking up from his work. His voice was weary and tired, you could hear the stress in his voice, it made your heart crack. “So should you, love,” your voice stayed soft, calming. The last thing you wanted was to be another harsh thing in his life right now. “The bed misses you,” you joked softly as you came up behind him, your soft hands landing on his shoulders. They were tense, his whole body was, and the tenseness didn’t falter when you touched him like how it usually did. “I’ll be there soon,” he uttered. “How soon? By the end of the month? Because I haven’t seen you in bed in 3 weeks,” you were sincere with a half joking tone as your hands gently ran down his body as you hugged him from behind, “I miss you baby…just…come on for tonight, get some rest. It’ll be here in the morning- I’ll even come in and help you with it,” you pleaded softly, your lips against his neck as you eyed his work from his shoulder. You didn’t want him to open up before he was ready, you didn’t want to push his limits, and you didn’t want to bitch to him about how closed off he’s been, you just wanted him to get some rest.

He sighed at your words, his hands pausing their movements for just a small moment, “Just-...let me finish this up, okay?” he uttered, his tone slightly softer than before. You huffed as you felt him lean into your arm, planting a small kiss on your upper arm as he started working again. You knew him, he wasn’t going to come to bed any time soon, he would just magically find something else that needed his attention and forget all about getting rest. “You’re helpless, you know that?” you huffed out against the shell of his ear, “your whole workshop is gonna be renovated before you come to bed.” He could hear the slight irritation in your words as you removed your touch from him, it made him tense up more. He knew you were being patient with him, and knowing that he was making it harder for you somehow made him feel worse than the stress did.

“Wait,” he uttered out before you got too close to the door. You immediately turn around, as if it was a reflex, “yes Ekko?” “...c’here,” he uttered, his hands abandoning his work as he looked over his shoulder. You didn’t fight the urge to walk back over to him. Soon, you were standing in between his legs and his hands were on your hips. “I’m sorry baby,” he sighed, his hands giving a loving squeeze to your body. His stress seemed to melt away the more you were around him, and you loved that, but constantly trying to get him to melt was frustrating, so you wanted to milk this as much as you could.

“Prove it,” you huffed, feigning irritation as you crossed your arms. For the first time in a while, he cracked a smile, chuckling as he immediately picked up on your game. “You want me to prove that I’m sorry?” he chuckled, his hands running up your waist, pushing up your (his) shirt as he did so. “Yea,” you huffed, your act almost breaking as he tugged you down on his lap, making you straddle him. “And tell me princess, how do you want me to do that?” he smirked as your hands rested on his shoulders as his hand gently grabbed your chin, running his thumb across your bottom lip. “Surprise me,” you smiled, finally breaking your act. It felt like he was a magnet, slowly pulling you closer, the space in between you closing at a steady pace. “Surprise you, huh? I got you~” he uttered before pressing his lips into yours.

This was the quickest you’ve ever seen Ekko forget about a project. Your lips danced with his as his hands roamed your body, running from your waist to your hip down to your thighs before finally resting on your ass, his hands giving it a soft squeeze. Your hands weren't much different; running from his shoulders down his chest to his abs and then back up to his blonde locs. It didn't take long for all restraint to disappear once his tongue slipped into your mouth, a soft whine escaping your throat as he explored your mouth. You felt him smile into the kiss, making your heart melt. If this was all it took to get him to loosen up, you would’ve been tried this.

You felt him remove one of his hands off your body, reaching behind you to tug his hoverboard off the table and onto the floor, giving him space to grab your hips and lift you up onto the table. You stayed connected in a messy kiss as he gripped your thighs and toyed with the waistband of your night shorts. You finally broke away, strings of saliva connecting you both as you panted softly, trying to catch your breath as you smiled down at him as he tugged at your waistband, a smile on his face as while. “There we go~” you cooed, your soft hands cupping his cheeks, “Finally got you to smile f’me,” you giggled, his smile only growing bigger. “Who wouldn’t for you, baby?” he chuckled as he tugged down your waistband, silently signalling to you to lift your hips, which you happily obliged.

He pressed soft, wet kisses all along your jaw and neck as he tossed your shorts somewhere behind him, pushing your thick thighs apart, revealing the damp spot on your orange, lacy panties, bringing a smirk on his face. “All that for me?” he smirked slyly, gripping you by your thighs and tugging you closer to the edge of the table. “No one else but you,” you giggled. “You must have really missed me,” he chuckled before pressing a kiss into your lips, swallowing the soft moan you let out when the pad of his thumb pushed into your clit through the flimsy fabric. The pretty sounds continued to spill out as he drew tight circles into the little bud.

At some point, he slowly stood up, his lips still locked with yours and his fingers still moving. “Lay back f’me baby,” he muttered against your lips lowly, but you weren't giving much of a choice when he placed a hand on your stomach and gently pushed you back. A shiver went down your spine as he placed soft, wet kisses down your body, making his way between your thighs, sucking hickeys over top of the stretch marks on your inner thighs. You leaned up on your elbows, looking down your body and watching him work on your body, allowing your eyes to lock with his. God damn it, he was fucking gorgeous like this; in between your legs, looking up with hooded but loving eyes, blonde locs falling in his face just a little. A gasped escaped your lips as he kissed your clothed cunt before he tugged the messy fabric to the side. Ekko bit back a groan as he watched strings of your arousal fall from the fabric as your pussy shimmered under the dim lighting. His dick leaked in his pants a little at the sight. “You’re so fucking pretty~” he cooed softly, making your heart melt and your cheeks flush, but before you could even respond, his mouth was on your cunt, coaxing struggled whines and moans from you as the sound of him slurping and licking your core filled the room. Your fingers tangled in his locs, tugging his head deeper between your legs as your head lulled back, your hips grinding against his face as he gripped your thigh with one hand, tugging you impossibly closer to him as he slipped one of his long, thick fingers into your tight hole.

He ate you like a starved man, but honestly the way he’s been locked up in his workshop, you wouldn’t be surprised if he was one. He now had two fingers pumping in and out of you, curling perfectly against that one gummy spot inside of you as he slurped and sucked at your clit, the juices from your previous orgasm pooling in the palm of his hand and on his desk under you.

He reluctantly detached from your cunt after your third orgasm leaving you a panting and shaking mess in front of him as he smirked down at you. “How’s that for proof?” he smirked, earning a breathless giggle from you as he licked your juices off his now dripping hand. “Ya know, I came in here to try and help you un-stress~” you giggled. “Hm, then you did a amazing fucking job baby,” he chuckled lowly, leaning down to lock lips with you, allowing you to taste yourself on his lips.

“Lets go to bed~” he uttered, scooping you off his table, leaving a mess for him to clean up later.

[moonmaiden1996]

How would Law and Sanji deal with embarrasing sex-fails (like cumming before entering or loud farting)? 😄

Okay...I did not expect to love writing this one but OMG I DID!!! I am seriously thinking about writing more.

Trafalgar D. Water Law – The "Pretend It Didn't Happen" Approach

Law prides himself on being calm, composed, and in control. But if something embarrassing happens during sex? Oh, this man will mentally leave his own body.

He’s deep in the moment, pupils blown, voice low and raspy—he’s got you right where he wants you. And then?

Boom. Over before he even enters. Just a sticky puddle taunting him

Absolute silent panic. This is worse than death.

He freezes, processing what just happened. He doesn’t even blink. For a good five seconds, you might think he straight-up died. And then? He acts like it didn’t happen.

"Tch… That was just a test run." 😤 "Give me five minutes."

Cue him rolling onto his back, staring at the ceiling, regretting everything. He’s already running medical calculations in his head to figure out the fastest way to recover.

Does he make a self-deprecating joke? Nope. Does he acknowledge it? Absolutely not. Instead, he just stares at you like he’s daring you to say something.

Good luck holding in your laughter.

Imagine: You’re tangled up, things are getting heated, bodies pressed real close—and then…

PPPPPPFFFFTTT 💨

Law’s soul leaves his body instantly.

He stops. Just stops. Entirely still. Not even breathing.

"…That was your fault." He blames you immediately. Doesn’t matter if it was clearly him—he is the Surgeon of Death, and he will gaslight his way out of this.

If you laugh? Oh, he’s furious. Face in his hands, ears red, muttering "Why does this shit happen to me?" under his breath. He will refuse eye contact for the rest of the night.

If you try to comfort him? He’ll grumble something about digestion, bodily functions, and muscle contractions to make it sound scientific. Still embarrassed, but now nerdy about it.

Conclusion: Law cannot handle sex-fails. If one happens, he needs time to recover and possibly die inside a little. His overdramatic but quiet drama.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sanji – The "Dramatic Overreaction" Approach

Sanji is a man of passion, charm, and romance—but if something embarrassing happens in the bedroom? This man will lose his damn mind.

You’ve got Sanji all worked up—whispering dirty things in his ear, pressing against him, teasing. He’s already panting, body shaking with anticipation, and just as he’s about to enter— Game over.

This man CRIES. 😭💀

Drops face-first into your chest and just wails into your skin like he’s been personally betrayed by the universe. "Mon Amor… this is a DISASTER!!" 😩 "I didn’t even… I couldn’t even—!!"

He clutches his chest like he’s been mortally wounded. Kicks his legs under the sheets. He physically collapses. This man is full-body trembling like he’s in the middle of a Shakespearean tragedy. "I have failed you as a man." 😔💔

You’re laughing so hard you can’t breathe, but Sanji is NOT joking. He will refuse to look at you for at least an hour, lying face-down on the bed, absolutely devastated. The drama is unmatched.

The room is thick with passion—your hands are tangled in his hair, his lips are leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck, and then— PPFFFTT— 💨 … Silence.

Sanji stops moving IMMEDIATELY.

Eyes wide as hell. Face instantly tomato-red.

And then?

This man straight-up tries to exit the room.

"Excusez-moi—I must leave, I must go, I—" He is already reaching for his pants like he’s about to abandon the situation entirely.

If you laugh? He DIES. Falls backward onto the bed, hand over his heart, groaning like he’s been mortally wounded.

"You must NEVER speak of this!!" 😫 "I can never show my face again!"

If you try to comfort him? He just dramatically throws himself into your arms like, "Why are you even still with me??"

The ONLY way to snap him out of it? Kiss him and tell him it was cute. Then suddenly he’s perking up, kissing your neck, pretending it never happened.

But he WILL remember. Forever.

Scenario: Sanji Going Down on You, But He Cums Early

You’re lying back, head resting on the pillow, legs parted just enough to let Sanji work his magic. His hands are gently caressing your thighs, lips trailing kisses along your inner leg. He’s absolutely obsessed with making you feel good, his entire focus on you. He starts slow—teasing, tasting, and gradually building up the tension between you two. You’re moaning softly, eyes fluttering shut, completely lost in the moment, when—

BAM.

It happens. He cums too soon.

Sanji pulls away immediately, face bright red, eyes wide, mouth slightly agape, completely mortified. He doesn’t even know how to respond. The room is silent for a good few seconds.

And then? He curls up into a ball of despair on the bed, covering his face with his hands like he’s just committed an unforgivable crime. "Mon dieu…!" he exclaims dramatically, his voice muffled through his hands. "How could I be so weak?? I—I'm so sorry! I ruined everything!"

He refuses to make eye contact, shaking his head as if the entire universe has conspired against him. If you try to comfort him, all he can do is mutter "I failed you again…" in a small, broken voice. The embarrassment is palpable, and he is convinced that you’re utterly disappointed.

But here’s the kicker—after the initial meltdown, when you hold him and whisper sweet things, he’s so needy for reassurance. His face is buried in your chest, and he murmurs, "I promise I'll make it up to you, I swear, please… let me try again."

And yes, he will try again. But first? He needs some time to recover. He’ll casually ask you if you want him to "start over" or take a break—his pride slightly bruised, but still determined to do whatever it takes to please you. He will definitely be between your legs making it up to you till he’s ready to demonstrate how much of a man he is. He'll definitely keep thinking about it, though. For the next month at least. Every time he gets close, he'll remember that one moment, and his dramatic overreaction will likely strike again. But don’t worry, eventually, he will get back into it with renewed passion and an even more intense focus—just make sure you’re prepared for the possibility of another emotional breakdown at any second!

Conclusion: Sanji falls apart if something goes wrong. He’ll cry, dramatically apologize, and refuse to look at you. But with a little reassurance, he’ll bounce back, though he’ll never forget it. All heart, but full of drama. Very much the definition of the loud, dramatic type

LIKE. COMMENT. REQUEST

[romanhughesy]

GRAVITY - andrei svechnikov x fem!reader

summary: you meet in spring. andrei is confident, easy-going. deeply casual. summer’s long, but you’re around again when andrei comes back in the fall and ‘casual’ shifts into something fonder, something taking shape around the edges. a mid-season injury brings things to a breaking point, but the longest night only comes once a year.

wc: 3k

warnings: suggestive (like pg13), angsty?, emotionally unavailable!reader<3

a/n: im so sorry it’s late, but this is my fic for @wyattjohnston’s winter fic exchange, written for @sydnikov !! i LOVE your writing and was so inspired by your preferred tropes/figure skating background, so i hope you love it!! ive never wrote anything quite like this before, so feedback is 10000% encouraged bc this is also my first fic in awhile :’) title is from ‘gravity’ by my queen tinashe, that song and her other song ‘cross that line’ PERFECTLY describe the relationship i was trying to capture here.

-

somewhere along the way– far too late– it becomes apparent you and andrei misunderstood each other. maybe even from the very first moment.

on an unseasonably humid early spring night, in a dark gritty bar with shitty lighting and shittier beer, a spark ignited between the both of you. he approached you, half-drunk and put up to it by the rowdy teammates commandeering a booth with a great view of the bar. of you and your friends. he offered to buy a round of shots for everyone– if your friends would take them back to the booth and leave the two of you at the bar. your girls, who absolutely did not need anymore shots, practically ran across the bar with the tray; not before elbowing you and patting your shoulder, of course. maybe one hockey player could fly under the radar, but certainly not this one, and the table full that were now hosting your friends were the talk of the little bar. even some of the other girls nearby looked at you enviously; like you’d been chosen, or won some sort of prize. it was an unpleasant kind of feeling that you tried to shove aside in favor of easy, tipsy conversation. after talking around the elephant in the room for a minute, the liquid courage helped you decide to name it. you praised his performance in their game earlier that evening. months later, you can still remember how his smile took over his face, wide and prideful.

“thank you, pretty,” he slurred, shuffling a bit closer, “i can teach you how to skate good like me.”

you also remember your own prideful scoff, rolling your eyes on pure instinct. that unpleasant feeling sharpened. “i could carve you up, svech.”

his jaw dropped, the disbelief seeming more honest than his boastful smile, somehow. “you play? you are… small.”

“i’m a figure skater. i coach, too. maybe i should teach you to skate better.”

andrei’s wolfish smile came back in full force then, large hand draping over yours on the sticky bar. “perfect figure skater– pretty and small. i’m sure you skate well, but not like me.”

he raised his drink to signal the bartender, but you slid your hand from underneath the bar to rest on top of his and tapped the back of his palm lightly, stealing his attention with a head tilt.

“should we go and check out each other’s skills?”

one night set the stage for a loose kind of routine, spring nights slipping away in the back of seedy bars, in andrei’s bland luxury apartment; bodies coming to an understanding on rumpled grey sheets in his california king bed. your friends wouldn’t shut up about him, but you insisted there was nothing to tell. and there wasn’t. neither of your lives had room for anything more than what you already had. when he was gone, or just not around, your life passed by more or less the same as when he was there. you weren’t going through the motions to pretend there was anyone else, to him or to your friends, but you knew where you stood. and it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. what you and andrei had was good, easy. you didn’t want a boyfriend anyway, so why would you complain about a steady hookup who wasn’t getting attached?

as the days got warmer, the nights got shorter, and andrei’s games became more meaningful. he slipped away— as much as you can really slip away when you aren’t being held at all. he more or less disappeared from your life once their second playoff series went south, and you refused to give chase.

-

summer was a blur. long days full of early morning practice, the smell of the ice invigorating your senses and bringing relief from the oppressive heat. it was a year too hot to be outdoors much, so you holed up, binging reality tv and redecorating your bedroom. your friends brought you out of your shell every now and then with a couple of weekend beach trips and many more coerced nights out. they’d switched from seedy sports bars to cocktail lounges, or dance clubs, and were good enough to not mention why, at least to your face. things felt simpler this way, dancing into the night with a rotating cast of strangers and cutting out early with the excuse of your sunrise rink time. you started landing a new trick, and even the heat couldn’t dull your mood about that.

seemingly in the blink of an eye, the dog days of summer had passed, and banners started cropping up around downtown boasting the shiny newcomers and fan favorites returning to town for training camp. you saw andrei’s face on the house-sized poster hanging on the outside of the arena and pretended to yourself that you’d never met him, because, really, what else were you supposed to do? go back to that same bar, with your same friends, and pretend you knew him at all?

-

well, you did do that– not of your own volition, to be sure– and he was there, because of course he was. you saw him the second you walked in, tall, broad and smiling, just like you remembered. you pointedly looked away, sharp eyes almost daring your friends to say something, but they didn’t have to.

you were fumbling through your purse to pay for your drink when he approached from behind, resting his hand on the bar. your bodies weren’t quite touching, but you were enveloped by his stature.

“you can put all of their drinks on my tab,” you could almost feel the vibrations of his deep voice through your chest. your friends raised their eyebrows, but said nothing, taking their drinks and deserting the bar. that deja vu, memory-on-the-tip-of-your-tongue feeling washed over you, heightened by his next words.

“how was your summer, pretty girl? mine was long, without seeing you.”

you sidestepped his hold to be able to look up at him, to take his features in for the first time in awhile. in person, that is. there was a boyishness, an almost clumsiness, about him like this that never came across in his media. you tried not to let it persuade you.

“i landed my axel for the first time.” you answered, not bothering to address his flattery.

“triple?” andrei asked, eyebrows raised.

you rolled your eyes. “i’m an amateur, andrei. not all professionals can land a triple.”

his eyes flashed, that challenging look that always dragged you in, “i’m a professional. i bet i could. i do lots of hard things.”

“i doubt you could even stand on figure skates, much less jump.”

he tilted his head, and you felt pulled back in time, “can i show you my skill?”

“andrei…” you tried to pull your gaze away from him, but he grabbed your hand, gentle as can be, and you locked eyes with him again.

“please, pretty girl. i missed you.”

looking back, you still aren’t sure what you thought he’d say, but it wasn’t that. the shock stirred up some of the unpleasant feelings of the past few months, the severed connection that was barely tangible to begin with. you lightly scoffed, “yeah, right.”

“i did. i’m glad to be back, to see you tonight. let me show you.”

what else could you say to that?

so you let andrei take you home, and tried to tell yourself you were just imagining the difference in his behavior, projecting softness, maybe even fondness, where there was only lust. tried to explain away his gentle hands on your cheeks, your hips, his quiet praise and adoration. you slept over, that night, and tried to turn a blind eye again in the morning. and again a few days later.

as fall crept in, the two of you start texting more often, meaningless chatter and jokes, and began foregoing the pretense of having to go out to the bars to “coincidentally” meet up. he’d ask to pick you up after leaving the stadium most nights he was in town, and more often than not you’d stay over. andrei didn’t seem to mind that you were often gone before he woke up; flying across the ice to try and leave your emotions behind, heart crawling a little further up into your throat every day. you knew it was unnatural, yet you couldn’t help but try to build your walls a little higher with every step you took forward towards something different with andrei. you just couldn’t help but feel like letting your guard down would be a fatal mistake.

his time on the road helped, in a lot of ways. it gave you a sense of normalcy, you went out with your friends and didn’t look over your shoulder. you could give andrei a bit of a cold shoulder over text and pretend he was the busy one, the one not responding. until he came back to town and kissed you breathless in his sports car, taking off your jacket with his big but deft hands and mumbling into your neck about missing you while he was gone.

it wasn’t that you didn’t like him— certainly not that— but it was hard to feel like you stood on solid ground when his life moved at such a fast pace. he never intentionally made you feel small, but his world, spanning millions of miles and millions more dollars, was dizzying, and so entirely divorced from whatever you two had that you still felt as though you didn’t know him, really, even though you held all of these small pieces of him close to your heart. you felt constantly at a loss, not sure how to best express yourself in any given moment, caught between honesty and protecting your feelings, unsure how to do both at once. the leaves turned, then fell, and you couldn’t help but feel like you were also waiting for the other shoe to drop.

andrei, apparently, had none of the same hangups. he was simple, straightforward and never shy to go after what he wanted. his interest was more than clear, but you could never bring yourself to ask just how far it went. he never asked you to go to dinner, or one of his games, and even though you guys weren’t just hooking up, in fact there were a couple of hangouts late fall without having sex at all, you couldn’t find any other name to call whatever you two were doing. so you stopped trying.

-

somewhere around the first frost, things changed. andrei had his first injury of the season, having to sit out a short road trip, and you found yourself out of your depth with the version of andrei that reminded you of unpleasant early-summer heat. you didn’t know how to comfort him, scared to cling or insert yourself unnecessarily into his personal life, so you thought you should just mirror his attitude. maybe that’s what brought things down.

one late november night, you started shrugging back on your clothes after leaving the bathroom until andrei’s voice, thick with sleep, gave you a momentary pause.

“where are you going?”

you looked up at him, and immediately regretted it. his high, strong cheekbones were softened in the dim light, eyes dark and confused, but you refused to believe the furrow of his brow held any traces of disappointment

“home. i have an extra-early skate tomorrow.”

“you know you can stay here,” andrei assured in a low voice, but you just shook your head and sat at the edge of the bed to put your socks back on.

“it’s fine, andrei. it’s not that late.”

he sat up fully, then, long arm reaching across the bed to try and touch you, but you were too far away.

“what’s going on?” andrei asked, not letting you answer before another question sprung from his lips. “why are you not comfortable with me?”

you froze, looking up slowly but deliberately avoiding his eyes.

“it’s nothing. i’d just rather be at my place tonight.”

“it is something,” he insisted, voice still quiet, but more firm than you’d ever heard him speak to you. “you don’t want to be honest with me. why?”

“i’m being honest with you,” you argued, even though you knew it wasn’t true. “why are you upset? it doesn’t matter.”

“i like spending time with you. i’m alone, i’m hurt, and you make things better.”

it somehow stung, the sweet words only serving to remind you what he could say instead, what you wished he’d say.

“we spend plenty of time together, svech. i can’t put my plans aside for you just because you couldn’t travel with the team.”

you didn’t have to read a different emotion into his furrowed brow any longer, it was set in a very clear frustration, now.

“don’t say that, don’t call me that,” he insisted, “what did i do? why are you angry?”

you stood, at that, pulling your sweater over your head hastily. “i’m not angry. you’re the one making this a big deal.”

“you are leaving and trying to hurt my feelings. i am just trying to figure out why.” he rose from the bed, trying to catch your wrist as you went to button your jeans, but you took a step back.

“we already fucked, andrei. you had plenty of my ‘quality time’ for tonight. i’m leaving, now.”

he stepped into your space, shaking his head and grabbing both of your wrists, not forceful, but firm.

“this is not about sex, pretty. you know it’s not. why are you saying this?”

“well, that’s all we have. we’re not dating, i’m not your girlfriend, so you should call someone else if you need comfort.”

it was his turn to take a step back, then. dropping your wrists, hurt clear as day across his face.

“that is not true. we cook together, work out together, watch movies together, talk on the phone while i am gone. is it all just about sex, to you?”

your insides twisted, hurt and anger shifting into a kind of guilt, a panic. you’d been so painstakingly, yet fruitlessly, trying to protect your own heart, trying to push yourself away. blind to the fact that the whole time, he was reaching out to you.

“i… didn’t want to ask for something you couldn’t give,” you hedged, eyes down and picking at your nail beds.

andrei shook his head again, but his expression softened, closing the gap between you.

“i have been trying to date you since i came back, beautiful. but you have been hiding from me, even when you’re this close. i’ve been waiting on you.”

you stared up at him, eyes wide, hands dwarfed in his grasp. you couldn’t even begin to find the right words to say.

“let me show you, gorgeous,” he continued, one hand coming up to rest on your cheek. “let me cherish you how you deserve.”

“andrei…” you breathe. he bends down, captures your lips in a kiss so tender it makes tears well up in your eyes.

“it’s okay, pretty. we’re okay.” he kept mumbling assurances to you in between soft kisses all over your face, across your jaw and down your neck. you couldn’t contain your sigh as his faint stubble brushed against your neck, hands finding a gentle perch on his broad back. andrei pulled back the slightest bit, soft smile and mischievous eyes making your heart flutter.

“can i show you, my darling? or do you need to go home?” he teased, hands absentmindedly trailing up and down your sides.

“please, drei,” you plead, hand stretching up to the back of his neck to pull him back down to you. andrei doesn’t move a muscle, his own strength so much greater than yours, but you couldn’t complain because you got to watch his soft smile grow, eyes alight like he just scored the greatest goal of his career. he lifted you with seemingly no effort at all, laying you back down on his grey sheets, hovering above you, bicep bulging next to your head. it was distracting, but you couldn’t look away from those gorgeous eyes, locked on yours.

“can i come to the rink with you in the morning? want to finally see how my pretty girl skates. probably puts me to shame.”

you were pulled from your daze at that, searching his face and finding nothing but openness, happiness, satisfaction. but you still can’t help but ask, “are you sure? it’s an open skate. people will see.”

“see you ‘carve me up’?” andrei joked, caressing your face. that spring night felt so far away, a version of you that could never conceive of where you would end up. “i don’t care. just want to see you.”

you couldn’t hide the shock on your face. the pit in your stomach hadn’t exactly subsided, the heaviness of wasted time and self-admonishment lingering, but you tried to push it aside, letting yourself reveal a gap in the armor you’d woven so tightly around your heart. you wouldn’t be able to just let yourself fall overnight, but you could do this. you could give him an opening, a glimmer of warm sunshine on a cold winter’s night.

“sure, but we’ll need to go to bed soon. it really is extra early,” you conceded, hand raising to brush some of his hair back from his forehead.

his sweet smile turned that wolfish, boastful grin you knew too well, leaning down to give you a quick kiss.

“soon? maybe not, pretty girl. i have been waiting for this. might take awhile. but don’t worry, i know great stretches for sore muscles we can try in the morning, too.”

and, well, what else could you say to that?

———

[whatifitis]

♡ can we start it all over again? - LN 4 ♡

Summary: The person you thought was the love of your life turned out to be a liar. So now you're left with nothing, no love, no home, and no plans for the future. Everything feels awful but as soon as you feel things are getting better, you run into your first love.

Author's Note: After a long ass wait, here's part 3 to 'i wish you would've stayed'. thank you guys for all the support on this little series <3 yall are the reason i write

WC: 3469

CW: cheating, thoughts about not breathing, yearning from Lando, excessive song references

What I thought was for all time turned out to be momentary.

After a long day at work, you were excited to be able to come home and finally see the love of your life.

Even after all this time together, the love between you two was still so exciting and palpable. You were practically running up the steps to your shared home, fumbling with the keys a bit. You opened the door and didn’t find Gabe in his office like he usually is.

You heard some noise coming from your bedroom and booked it down the hallway in excitement, but when you opened the door, you were met with a sight you never thought you’d have to see. Red auburn hair swayed as the figure rode Gabe, covering his face.

You couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped your mouth. The two heads turn to face you and shock is drawn all over their bodies.

“Mikayla?!” you question, watching as your cousin climbs off your fiance, failing to cover herself with your bedsheets.

“I-” is all she’s able to voice.

Gabe is scrambling off the bed, “It’s not what it looks like, baby-”

“Don’t “baby” me. You lost that privilege the second you stuck your dick in someone else.”

“No! I didn’t- It’s not-”

“Oh! So you just tripped and it fell into her vagina?!”

Being met with silence, you’re quick with your movements, walking to the closet and packing whatever you can grab in this moment of fury and despair. You can feel heat consuming your face and body. Tears are forming on your waterline but you refuse to let them see you fall.

You zip up your bag and make your way to leave, stopping for a moment to look at the person you thought you knew. “Loving you was the biggest mistake I ever made. Someone will get the rest of my stuff later. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

You don’t even spare a glance at Mikayla. But, as you’re about to close the door, you pause, feeling the band around your finger: “Oh, and I guess you’ll need this for her” - you spat, tossing your engagement ring to Gabe’s feet.

After everything, everything you told him, he still went behind your back and chose someone else. Come one, come all, you guess. It’s happening again. He called you the love of his life. God, how could you be so stupid. You think back on everything, and it’s all making sense now.

Mikayla wasn’t necessarily ecstatic when you’d told her that Gabe had proposed to you. You were disappointed and confused but brushed it off as she had just broken up with her boyfriend at the time.

When you confessed to Gabe that you were disappointed in Mikayla’s reaction, he reassured you and told you he’d talk to her for you.. Gabe was always quick to problem solve and he always enjoyed making you happy, so when he jumped at the chance to speak with Mikayla, you didn’t think anything of it. After her “talk” with Gabe, Mikayla was giddy. She apologized for her initial reaction to your engagement and asked if she could help you with the wedding planning.

Planning the wedding with your cousin by your side was amazing. The two of you had a shared taste in aesthetic so it made everything feel a lot less stressful. Now you realize why she was so excited. Helping you plan the wedding allowed her to invite herself over a lot to “go over details”. It was almost as if she was planning her own wedding.

You are such a fool. You ended up lost inside a memory of someone’s life, it wasn’t yours.

After everything that just happened, you weren’t sure of what to do or where to go. You were driving around in silence, trying to keep from completely breaking. You call a friend of yours, asking if you could spend the night with her and that you could leave in the morning. Pietra, your friend, assured you that you could stay as long as you need.

After a long and dreadful drive, you had arrived at Pietra’s house. She sat you down on the couch and handed you a cup of tea. “Y/n, what happened?”

You took a deep breath and tried to stay composed enough to tell her, but you couldn’t. The words you wanted to say were stuck in a lump in your throat. Your breathing became irregular as you struggled for air. All you could do was break down into tears as Pietra moved closer to you and pulled you into her arms, rubbing her hand up and down your back.

The weight of everything just came crashing down on you now. You lost the love of your life, your cousin, and all your future plans in one day. You don’t have a home. You don’t have love. You don’t have the one person you trusted with your life. You don’t have the person who put you above everything else. You don’t have the person who had the ability to turn your bad days into good days. You don’t have the person who loved you for you.

You don’t even have Olive anymore.

The two of you grew fond of each other after you and Gabe moved in together. Olive became your best friend in a way. As crazy as it seems, she helped you pick your outfits a few times. But she's not yours. Nothing is yours. Was anything ever really yours?

Time passes and you’re able to calm your sobs. Through your hiccups, you tell Pietra about everything. You tell her about Mikayla, about Gabe, about how you feel so lost now.

“I’m sorry, my darling. I didn’t expect this, honestly. But don’t worry about finding a place to stay. Stay here for as long as you want, it’ll be nice to have you around. It’s hard to find time to hangout with you and I miss seeing you.”

“I missed you too. And thank you for letting me stay here, I don’t know how to repay you. I can pay some rent or something.”

“No. Don’t worry about that. Just help me make some brigadeiro when you feel up to it.” she says, offering you a soft smile.

“I’ll try. I think I’m gonna head to bed now. I gotta get to the office early tomorrow.”

“No. What the fuck? You just got your heart broken. Your whole life just fell apart. No offense. Take the day off, matter of fact, take the whole week off. We’re gonna take a break. Okay?”

“I kinda wanna go to work so I can have a distraction from the fact that I’m failing.”

“You’re not failing, y/n. Gabe failed you. Mikayla failed you. None of this is your fault. You did nothing to deserve this.”

“At some point, I have to realize there is something wrong with me. My relationships never work and the common denominator in all of them is me.” you say, shrugging your shoulders and accepting that maybe love isn’t meant for you. You stand to go to your temporary room. “Goodnight, Pietra.”

“Fine. You can go wallow in your sadness but call your boss cause you’re not going to work tomorrow. I will lock you in your room if I have to.”

You shut the door to your room, not having the energy to counter Pietra’s demands. You have to fight every bone in your body to keep from sliding down the door and sobbing. At least make it to the bed, you tell yourself. Your feet heavily drag across the carpet, trying to get you to the edge of the bed and when you do, you collapse onto it and break. You cry and cry as you curl into yourself. It gets harder and harder to breathe, but you won’t be able to feel the relief of ceasing your breath completely. There’s a hole in your gut in the shape of everything you had and lost.

Gabe played you, for years. It was like he was mocking you with everything you ever confided in him. You had told him things that you’d never told anyone else, and now you regret that. You wish you could unrecall how you almost had it all. Everything you’d dreamed of, being loved and wanted.

All those braids of lies. All those “I’ll never leave”’s and “You’re more than enough”’s.

If you could, you’d go back to the night you met Gabe. You’d go back and tell yourself that he wasn’t the one. You wish you’d never met him. You had all of him, then most of him, and now none of him. What the hell are you supposed to do?

Once your sobs subside briefly, you send a text to your boss, letting her know you won’t be in tomorrow, and probably the day after. You won’t be able to get stuff done while in this state. Maybe Pietra is right. It might be best if you take more than a day or two off work to get yourself back up on your feet.

The next week is spent with Pietra glued to your side. The two of you spent everyday either relaxing or going on mini adventures around town and shopping til you dropped. While it’s been nice, spending time with P and just going out, it doesn’t take away the pain or distract you from it too much. There’s still an empty space in your chest that feels like it will keep expanding until it consumes you into nothingness.

It seems as if your soul is disappearing, leaving you to be a ghost. You still don’t know how it ended. Yes, he cheated, probably more than once, but how? Why? Were you not enough? Did you do something to push him away?

You can’t feel it yet, peace and acceptance. But you are waiting. Desperate to feel anything but this, or nothing at all.

Days and weeks pass and you’re slowly coming to. You’re back at work and you’ve been touring some apartments with Pietra. She insisted that if you moved out, you would at least live close by. You agreed to this condition and you just sent an application for the apartment you liked most. It was beautiful with a few big windows to let the sun in, a window nook you could relax in, and a magnificent view of London.

You were on break at work when your phone pinged with a notification. You look down and see his name pop up on the screen. Gabe texted you, letting you know he packed the rest of your stuff so it’ll be an easier and faster process for you to get whatever was left after that night.

Without responding, you text Pietra, asking her if she could go and grab your stuff with her boyfriend, Max. You don’t think you could stomach going back there. Not after knowing what happened in what was your room. Not after you laid in bed, staring at the ceiling questioning how many times it happened. Where it happened.

Without hesitation, Pietra says yes and lets you know that she’ll have your stuff in your room by the time you get home. You’re forever grateful for Pietra for being there for you through all this, for allowing you to live in her home. You would mention Max as well since it’s his home as well, but you found out that he had told Lando about your situation in full detail. So, he’s on probation right now.

The work day wraps up quite late so by the time you’re driving home, it’s dark and cold. You call Pietra and let her know that you were on your way back, asking if she needed you to pick up anything on your way home. She says no but keeps you on the phone to make sure you get home safe. The two of you talk about work and make plans for the weekend.

As you pull into the driveway, Pietra is already waiting for you at the door, dancing around as you hear a one direction song being played from inside the house.

“Welcome home, bestie.” Pietra screams.

You run up to her and hug her so tightly. You had just seen each other this morning but it felt nice to feel appreciated and wanted. In the past few weeks, you two had grown closer and it felt like you were kids again.

You enter the house and drop your stuff onto the couch when you feel something furry run along your ankles. You look down to see Olive.

“Pietra, what the hell?”

You look up to see Pietra with a guilty look plastered on her face, “Well, when I went to get your stuff from that bitch, I was grabbing the last bag and he had Olive in her little crate. He said he wanted you to have her. He said that the two of you had grown close and he wants you to have her. And if it makes you feel better, he said she’s been shitting in his shoes since you left.”

Bending down to pick up Olive, you look at her face and just hug her close. Turns out she is a girl's girl, and you’re grateful for her, even if she is just a cat.

“Thanks, Pietra. For getting my stuff and bringing my little Olive.”

“It’s no problem. I’m glad you got something good out of all this.”

“Me too.” you say, watching as Olive curls into you and purrs as you scratch beside her ear.

The rest of the night is spent cuddling with Olive and listening to Pietra vent about her own work life and personal life. Apparently her manager wants her to do a brand deal with a cheese company? When Pietra is lactose intolerant?

The next morning, you are awoken by birds chirping outside your window as rays of golden sun make their way to warm your body. It’s a beautiful day outside so why let it go to waste?

After kissing the top of Olive’s head, you start getting ready for the day and put on one of your favorite dresses. It’s a beautiful, pink sundress that’s loose and comfortable but hugs your figure nicely. It’d been a while since you’d worn it, having forgotten about it after Mikayla told you that it made you look like one of the twins from ‘Alice in Wonderland’. Maybe you should’ve seen the signs.

You decide to head to your favorite cafe that’s down the street. After moving in with Pietra and Max, you’d ventured to each establishment in the area and just fell in love with the aesthetic and aura of this cafe. It was cozy with cream colored walls, big windows that allowed the warm sun to shine through, and potted plants in every corner and crevice of the place.

After ordering a coffee, you take a seat at a table in the corner where you can read your book in peace. That was until you heard an all too familiar voice. “Y/n.” - Looking up from your book, you’re met with his eyes. The eyes you fell in love with all those years ago.

“Lando.”

With a shaky exhale, he quickly explains himself, “Max told me you were here. Actually, I kind of berated him to tell me where you were and if I could talk to you. I heard what happened with Gabe and I just had to see you. Can I have a seat?”

“I’m not in the mood, Lando. I’m tired and I feel like I’m just starting to get back up on my feet. I don’t want to entertain this.”

He takes a seat in the chair across from you and you watch the pleads that leak from his body. “Please, Y/n. I just want to talk. I’ve thought a lot about what I’ve done to you and I just need you to listen. Please. I don’t expect to get back together or for you to forgive me and all that. I miss having you in my life and I would really like it if we could at least be friends?”

You just sit there with your arms crossed, raising an eyebrow at him. You know as soon as you see him, you’re gonna wring Max’s neck for telling Lando about what happened and about where you were.

Realizing you weren’t going to speak, Lando continues, “I fucked up, bad. I disrespected you and essentially used you. Like I said the last time we spoke, I didn’t realize what I had til it was gone. I didn’t realize that I actually love you, like a lot.”

With a deep breath, you tell him everything you never said. “Sometimes I can find peace with the fact that you left, accepting that this wasn’t meant for me. Other nights I would bargain with God, asking him what I had to do or give up for him to bring you back. After all of this, I don’t know why I’m holding on to you. There is nothing to hold on to. And I used to be scared of losing you. I think I still am somehow, which is weird. Like if I let you go then I officially lost you. If I just hold on to every little memory, maybe you’ll come back, even if I shouldn’t. And that’s even scarier. It’s scary knowing that after all this time, you still have this hold on me. Like all you have to do is say something, and I'll come back.”

“So why don’t you come back? To me? I’ve grown, Y/n. I’ve changed. And I’m still changing and learning. I love you. And I know that even if I love you wholeheartedly, that’s not enough. I will work everyday to prove to you that I love you. I will work every moment to show you how much I care about you. The day that I left, I lost the love of my life. I lost you.”

“You didn’t lose the love of your life, Lando. You just lost the person you had loved the most so far in your life. You’ll find the love of your life, someday. But it’s not me.”

“Y/n, I don’t know life without you. Everyday that’s passed since I ended things, you’ve always been at the forefront of my mind. I found you then I lost you and looking back is torture. It hurts to know I hurt you. If I could go back and do it all over, I’d do it differently. I would’ve never let you go and I would have treated you better. I would have loved you better.”

“But you can’t. We both need to move on. This whole situation is not healthy for either of us. We can’t keep going around and around. You fucked up and you need to deal with the consequences. I need time and space from anything to do with love. I just got cheated on by someone who was supposed to love and care for me. I have to explain to every person I know why I’m not getting married anymore. I have to tell every single person that I’m not enough and I’ll never be enough. I have to tell everyone that I’m the disappointment they always knew I’d be.”

“You’re not a disappointment, Y/n. You never have been and never will. Let me show you what love really is like. I promise. We can go as slow as you’d like. We can be just friends. I can’t promise sunshine and rainbows 24/7. I can’t promise that there won’t be times where you’re mad at me. I can’t promise that I’ll be perfect. But, I can promise to stay. I promise to love you wholeheartedly, and do it proudly. I will love you loudly, shouting it from every rooftop. I promise to keep you safe. I promise to take care of you. I promise to surround you with love. While I hope you can love me again, I know it’s not easy and not something that has a high chance of happening. I know I don’t deserve it, but can you please let me in again?”

As you sit there looking at this person, this person who you loved with all your heart for so long. This person who took your heart and broke it into pieces. This person who has come back over and over again. This person who hasn’t loved or dated since the last time you two had spoken. This person who claims to love you.

“I don’t know, Lan. Can you?”

—————————————————————————

Tags for pt 3: @leclerc13 @f1fantasys @htpssgavi

I only tagged those who specifically asked to be tagged in pt 3 cause I didn’t know if those tagged in pt 2 wanted to be tagged in this one 😭😭😭

[prettygirl-gabi]

Title: Honey, I'm home

Pairing: Juju Watkins x Singer!Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Genre: Fluff | Secret Relationship | First-Person POV

Summary: Soft Launch pics to Hard Launch kisses

I was sitting cross-legged on my couch, phone in one hand and a bowl of fruit in the other, scrolling through my notifications. My newly released song was everywhere—TikTok, Twitter, Instagram. Fans were analyzing the lyrics, dissecting every line, and trying to figure out who it was about.

They had no idea.

"THIS HAS TO BE ABOUT SOMEONE!" one tweet read.

"Who broke her heart, who healed it, and how do we thank them?" another fan wrote.

I smirked, taking another bite of pineapple. The thing was, the song wasn’t about heartbreak—it was about her.

Juju.

My secret girlfriend.

We had been soft launching each other for months—her wearing my merch at post-game interviews, me casually posting a pic of our intertwined hands without showing her face, her commenting a simple emoji under my pictures. Subtle, but not too subtle. Enough to keep the fans guessing.

Then, she went and turned it up a notch.

Juju Watkins tagged you in a post.

I clicked the notification, and my breath hitched. It was a mirror selfie of us from last night—me leaning against her, half my face visible, and her hand resting on my waist. But what caught my eye was the gold chain around her neck, shining under the dim lighting.

My initials.

And I had the same exact chain with hers.

As if that wasn’t enough, she posted the picture on her Instagram story, with my song playing over it.

The internet went insane.

The next evening, I was in the kitchen, live on Instagram, breaking down the meaning behind the song while cooking.

"Okay, so the first verse is about meeting someone when you least expect it, right? Like, you don't go looking for love, but it just—" I snapped my fingers, "—finds you. That's what happened to me."

The comments were rolling in.

"WHO???"

"Drop the name, girl."

"Soft launch era over???"

I chuckled, stirring the sauce on the stove. "Y'all so nosy."

Just then, the front door swung open.

"Honey, I'm home!"

My soul left my body.

I whipped my head around, eyes wide as Juju strolled into the kitchen, completely unaware that I was live.

The comments blew up instantly.

"JUJU???"

"NAH, DID SHE JUST SAY 'HONEY, I'M HOME'?"

"WE KNEW IT!!!"

Juju finally noticed my phone propped up against the spice rack. Her eyes widened slightly, but instead of backing out, she smirked and walked straight up to me, wrapping her arms around my waist from behind.

"Wait—Ju, I'm live," I whispered, but it was too late.

She kissed my cheek, then my jaw, then—oh. Right on the lips.

The live chat lost its mind.

I groaned, laughing against her lips. "You really just did that?"

Juju grinned, resting her chin on my shoulder. "They were gonna find out eventually, might as well be now."

"HARD LAUNCH LETS GOOOOO."

"Juju said 'idc no more' LMFAOOO."

"I KNEW IT WAS HER I JUST KNEW IT."

I shook my head, playfully pushing her away. "Fine, since you're here, you can help me cook."

Juju held up her hands. "Oh no, last time I helped, you almost set the kitchen on fire."

"That was your fault!" I shot back.

She smirked. "Okay, sure. Babe"

I roll my eyes, "Judea I swear,"

She gasped. "Not you using my full name on live!"

The comments exploded again.

"JUDEA?? WE GETTING GOVERNMENT NAMES NOW???"

"This live is the gift that keeps on giving."

Juju laughed, grabbing a spoon and stirring the sauce. "So, tell them about the bridge in your song. I love that part."

I side-eyed her but continued, "Okay, so the bridge is the most personal part for me. It’s about realizing that love isn't about being found, it's about being seen—and wanting to stay right where you are."

Juju's smile softened. "That’s my favorite line."

I turned back to the camera. "Alright, y’all. That’s enough tea for tonight. Dinner is almost ready, and somebody needs my full attention."

Juju smirked. "Damn right."

And with that, I ended the live, knowing the internet would be in shambles for days.

---

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-Thank You For Reading!🩵🩶

-prettygirl-gabi🎀✨️

[lexirosewrites]

An ask abt nugget #5 for slick sunday in the same universe as my new year's birth nugget #4

The Munsons live in Chicago, Eddie both co-owns a landmark music store & co-founded a small record label tht is growing by the year. Steve is THRIVING as a stay at home mom who gets to write fun kid friendly fantasy novels on the side & has had a number of them printed to a resounding success with his latest being the 1st of a kid friendly horror book series titled "The Strange Times Files"

Steddie got married/mated January 5, 1988 when Steve was already pregnant w nugget #1

The names & birthdays of the 4 Munson nuggets are as follows:

Nugget #1: Joan Riot Munson (May 4, 1988)

Nugget #2: Lennon "Lenny" Eagles Munson (August 15, 1992, 10:23am)

Nugget #3: Stevie Jett Munson (August 15, 1992, 10:25am)

Nugget #4: Jim Hendricks Munson (Jan 1, 1996)

(I did actual math to make these birthdays make sense so I can get the age gaps right & yes Lenny is going to b very obnoxious about being older than Stevie around their 12th birthday)

Steddie decide to hold off on nugget #5 for a few years. Then in 1998 when baby Jim is 2 years old, the twins are 6, and Joan is 10, they decide to start trying for #5

For their anniversary tht year Lucas uses his professional basketball player money to get them a private jet to Amsterdam, Will uses his art connections to get them a whole townhouse not far from the Van Gogh museum, and El makes Steve an entire bespoke wardrobe just for the trip (including lingerie).

They'll b gone for the rest of January (enough time to encompass Steve's upcoming heat) & while there is nervous energy tht they're leaving their pups for so long they know that their pack will take good care of them. Eddie provides a binder on each of the pups likes & dislikes & any allergies (Joan can't have shellfish & Lenny can't have mushrooms) along with a rough outline of the usual schedule of their days during the school week & weekends as well as any & every phone number they might need (poison control, pediatricians, school, and the number of the townhouse they'll staying at) & last but not least is what to do when each pup can't sleep (Joan goes down after a short game of scrabble because tht kid is a voracious reader w a vocabulary to match, Lenny & Stevie get tired after a cup of warm milk with honey extra points if Wheel of Fortune is playing on the TV, and Jim usually just needs to b allowed to get excess energy out then given warm milk with honey of his own)

The trip is wonderful!

Steve's mom visits for a few days from Vienna, she brings the famous sachertorte w her (which steve "sweet tooth" munson ends up loving) & invites them to visit her in Austria for the Christmas season next year in 1999 insistent tht she will pay for everything & tht she doesn't care tht Eddie makes good money producing music in Chicago she got an amazing divorce settlement & as a result owns half of Richard's more lucrative investments as well as her own newer investments. Amelia Harrington extracts a promise from the couple to be in Austria for Christmas 1999 then bids them goodbye & returns to her apartment in Vienna wishing them luck on making nugget #5.

they smoke weed in coffeeshops, they see an NSFW art performance in the red light district, & wander the museum & streets & generally be in love. Steve's heat comes on schedule near the end of their trip & it's a beautiful experience of reconnecting as people not just as parents or a couple. By the end they miss their pups, have fallen more in love, & r ready to be home again.

A few weeks after getting home Steve feels a little weird like he might b coming down w something, he's more easily nauseous & having body aches but cannot figure out what exactly is going on. He goes to their doctor with an inkling but wants to rule out all other possibilities, his blood test comes back telling them he's not only healthy but pregnant again w nugget #5!!! Steve is ecstatic & when he tells Eddie the alpha starts crying from how in love he is with his mate & how grateful he is tht Steve has given their family 4 healthy pups & is now pregnant w #5

Nugget #5 is a textbook pregnancy, so much so the doctor jokes abt it. Steve is glowing by week 5, baby #5 likes tumbling around more than their siblings, his cravings r different on the whole except he still craves pickles tht r as crunchy as possible like he did w his previous 3 pregnancies. Nugget #5 is due around October 29th but all baby does is drop into Steve's pelvis around tht date.

Then... October 31st arrives & Steve wakes up at 5am from a contraction. It isn't quite go time yet so the family goes abt their day w the exception tht Steve pauses to breathe thru contractions every now & then, steddie get their pups ready for school complete with costumes & makeup & promises tht when the day is done they'll have a new baby sibling in the world, Eddie takes the day off & takes baby Jim to Wayne's (who lives 2 doors down at steddies insistence) who then starts the phone tree to let everyone know nugget #5 is on the way today. By the time Eddie gets back home Steve has timed the contractions closer together but his water hasn't broken quite yet so after Eddie gets the hospital bag in the car along w his mate they go to portillo's for some French fries & a chocolate cake shake. It's as they get back in the car with Steve happily dipping his fries into his shake tht his water breaks. The hospital knows they're coming & so there's almost no chaos to speak of.

Steve gets hooked up to machines & Eddie gets scrubbed in so he can hold his mates hand as it comes time to push. He's pushing well but something feels wrong the longer he goes on, he doesn't feel weaker but something isn't right. & steddie realize at the same time as the medical team tht the babies heart rate is dropping with every push. Then there's a lot of movement really quickly as the doctor is suddenly prepping for surgery while a nurse explains tht an emergency c-section is going to be necessary & tht Steve will need to go under anesthesia. Eddie is doing everything in his power to maintain his own calm while thru the bond he feels Steve's anxiety mounting into panic as the information sinks in, he promises to not leave his side & tht everything w b okay & tht c-sections must not b a big deal bc already the doctor is ready & the anesthesiologist is entering the room & did Steve know tht Shakespeare mentioned c-sections so tht means they've been around longer than anesthesia & then Steve is breathing in the gas & counting backwards from 10 but only gets to 8 before he's closing his eyes

The surgery is indeed not a big deal, there's a lot of blood & he peeks to see they had to move Steve's organs around & Eddie's heart drops into the basement when he sees how blue his baby girl was because the umbilical cord had wrapped around her neck but soon they unwind it & she's breathing in big lungfuls of air & crying at the injustice of leaving her warm home of the past 40 weeks & she's laid down under a warming lamp before they even wash her because her temperature wasn't what they'd like

While Steve wakes up baby #5 is weighed & measured & she's healthy all around except the scare she gave them all because of her propensity for tumbling around in the fluid filled womb. Once she's washed her scent blooms milky but sweeter than any of their pups & after a blood test the doctors confirm she's indeed an omega (Joan was born with a milky but spicy scent & dual sex anatomy so a blood test confirmed tht she's a girl alpha, and its very likely the twins will b betas)

Steddie name her Siouxsie Robin Munson, Robin begins blubbering immediately when Steve tells her this. She gets baby Siouxsie a stuffed Robin bird for her crib tht the pup holds onto well into adulthood

Siouxsie goes home from the hospital & about a year later proves to b the water baby of the bunch. taking to the infant swimming classes at The Y like a duck to water. Eddie jokes she was tumbling around so much in the womb to prepare for an Olympic career.

((Indeed, 18 years later, following a lot of hard work & a lot of tears & a lot of moments of almost quitting but persevering anyway, in 2016 the entire upside down pack (+ pups & spouses & the list goes on & even not-so-baby-anymore Jim took a break from his latest filming schedule to b there) are all cheering wildly in the stands of Rio de Janeiro while Siouxsie Robin Munson wins gold in the women's 400 metres freestyle swim event, it is the first of many Olympic games she will attend & the first of many gold medals she will win))

(i was indeed impressed with the dates but also laughing because steddie have the same anniversary as my mom and i who are both divorced from the curse of our january 5th weddings😂)

[ghostgirl-22]

Tashi and/or Art’s physiotherapist walking in (Art’s room, a locker room, gym, whatever) to find Art and Patrick in just their underwear scrambling to get dressed after having sex.

Yes I could see it anon! Post challenger.

Tashi insists Art and Patrick go out to get a drink or something and try to reconnect since they haven’t really talked to each other in over a decade. Art goes because deep down he misses Patrick but he’s still reserved thinking they’re just gonna talk for an hour.

By hour four they’re drunk and giggling like they’re in high school again. And at 1am when the place is closing they’re still reminiscing so Patrick invites Art back to his place.

Art pings his location to Tashi with a note that he’ll be home soon, but they’re still catching up. They end up hanging out on Patrick’s motel bed. Watching an old movie on cable. Splitting a beer. And before Art realizes what’s happening he’s kissing Patrick. He pulls back shyly. Saying sorry. And Patrick just smiles and climbs on top of him. Then they’re kissing more. Touching all over. Art losing all sense of self in the pursuit of pleasure. Shaky fingers covered in lube. Fucking into Patrick because he needs it. He doesn’t even know how many times they do it. Just knows he’s waking up hungover, butt naked and pleasantly sore in Patrick’s bed to the sound of knocking. He rolls over but Patrick’s not in bed.

“I’m coming,” He stumbles, sleepy to the door. Only his boxers on, scratching his head he pulls it open. “Hey,” he says.

“Is uh… is Art here?”

Shit. It’s his physiotherapist. Tashi must have sent him over when he didn’t show up to his post game session this morning. Patrick pulls open the door and his physio Steve walks in.

It’s at this moment that Art kinda wishes Patrick had a little more shame. He sits up in bed quickly, embarrassment heating his skin as he searches for his clothes which are all over the bed and floor.

“Uh sorry man… um…” Art says, quickly trying to get into his briefs. Steve’s eyes widen when he sees him. He looks for maybe a bit too long before turning to look at the wall.

“No uh… no it’s um… Tashi said you were probably here so I figured I’d bring breakfast.” He holds up one of the shakes Art usually swallows down for breakfast. It was their usual habit to hangout after his post game sessions. Art sees his college buddies four times a year at most and he hasn’t really kept in touch with anyone from high school. Sadly Steve is probably his most consistent guy friend as an adult and he happens to be on the payroll.

“That’s uh… really thoughtful man I appreciate it,” Art says, glaring at Patrick who looks quite amused by all of it. “I completely forgot about our session.”

“I uh— I see. Um…” Steve lingers, he looks at Patrick and then chances another glance in Art’s direction. He’s stepping into his jeans. Or maybe they’re Patrick’s jeans. Fuck.

Patrick rests his elbow against the doorframe, one hand on his hip.“No way you were actually going to train after yesterday?” He asks, yawning.

“No this is my good friend and physiotherapist, Steve.” Art says, sheepish. “I’ve been seeing him nearly everyday since my injury.”

“Hey man, I’ve uh— I’ve heard a lot about you,” Steve says, smiling awkwardly at Patrick, his eyes trailing swiftly up and down his body.

“I bet,” Patrick smirks.

“That’s uh—Patrick and I— we’ve never— I’ve never done anything like this before,” Art says quickly and reassuringly to Steve. In case he’s thinking of bailing now. The way Steve stretches him out so well has led him to walk away with the occasional awkward boner. He’s not into Steve. At least he doesn't think he is.

Steve would always dismiss it saying it happened all the time… and that made Art feel a little less embarrassed about it. But now seeing Art like this Steve’s probably going to rethink the cause of those boners.

“No I mean… it’s no big deal. You know I’m gay so it���s nothing I’m not used to. And since you’re bisexual I figured you had to be—“ Steve starts.

“Huh?” Art interrupts, he’s given up and just decided to wear Patrick’s jeans, he’s buttoning them but they’re still sitting loose on his waist, exposing the thick strap of his briefs.

“It’s no big deal, honest, I’m not calling HR,” Steve says, smiling.

“No the other part,” Art says. “Did you say— did you say you were— that you think I’m—“

Steve laughs. “Is this a joke?”

“Uh I don’t know. I mean… I’m not…” Art begins and then he glances at Patrick, who continues to look endlessly amused.

“We flirt all the time.” Steve says. “You get hard every time I’m stretching you out. You know I love Beyoncé as much as Tashi does. You saw grindr on my phone when I accidentally left it open…”

“Beyoncé is a talented artist.” Is all Art can manage and Patrick laughs. Art tosses a balled up sock at him. He vaguely remembers seeing naked men on Steve’s phone but he’d figured it was some kind of anatomy thing. He’s a physio after all.

“You said the boner thing happens to people all the time…” Art says.

“Yeah it does… with my clients that are into men.”

Art feels his skin heating even more. “We—we don’t flirt,” Art stammers.

Steve laughs this time. “Sure…”

Patrick settles back on the bed. “This is hilarious actually. I like you Steve. Maybe we should all go out and eat real food. And I can tell you about all the times he didn’t flirt with me.”

“I’d definitely be interested,” Steve smiles. Traitor.

And here Art was thinking he drank too much and made a mistake but the whole time Steve thought he was bisexual. God. Maybe he’s bisexual?

“I know you think it’s funny but can you please not mention this to Tashi? God forbid, she finds out from either of you before I can explain myself.”

Steve chokes out another laugh and then covers his mouth. Art frowns at him. “What?”

“I’m sorry… I thought that was another joke. You know, she’s the one who told me you were bi. She said if we hooked up she’d be good with it so I um—I think she knows.”

Art rubs his palms on his thighs refusing to take one more glance at Patrick’s ever widening shit eating grin.

“Oh.”

[justanothermemestrider]

Nothing Ever Stays Dead - Part 9

Sgt Gadriel x Childhood Friend OC

Someone break out the confetti and the party poppers cause IT'S FINALE DAY BABYYYYY 🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🎊🥳🥳🥳

(if you need to catch up, the masterlist with all the previous parts is here)

We got typical 40kness and some real nsfw-ness under the cut, as well as inevitable spelling and grammar mistakes, which I apologise for.

I got a longer A/N at the very end, so for now, thank you for reading, and if you'd like, please consider liking, reblogging or commenting :)

Enjoy!

Despite Titus’ offers, Gadriel does not stay in the lieutenant’s quarters nor return to his own. Instead, he heads straight for the training hall. He needs to exorcise this anxiety. Flush it out with sweat and rage. It’s the only thing he can think of that might help. 

It doesn’t.

He lifts weights, punches bags and swings training blades. But no matter how much he exerts himself, his mind will not rest. Soon, his still-healing wounds start to twinge. But Gadriel welcomes it; pursues it, even. Pushes his body to the point of pain in the hope that it might smother his thoughts and distract him from his feelings. 

But that doesn't work either. Even when it pushes him to tears. Even when he's forced to take a knee and lean on his training blade because it feels like his stomach might just tear open. The fear won't fade. The frustration won't fade. The guilt, the worry, the helplessness… 

Gadriel drops his chin to his chest. He's breathing hard. Sweat pours down his bare chest and runs down his face. Soon, though, it is joined by tears. And his breathing becomes interrupted by choking sobs.

I can't lose her. Like some sort of twisted carousel, those same four words spin around and around in his head. I can’t lose her. I can’t lose her. 

With a grunt, Gadriel forces himself to his feet. He returns his blade to its rack before collecting his shirt and stalking out of the training hall. He’s bound for his quarters, but it isn’t to rest or cool off. He needs his undersuit, his armour. He’s not going to let her spend one more minute locked in another cell, waiting for death. Damn what Titus had told him. Damn what the Codex or his duty demands of him. Those things had taken her from him; wiped her from his mind, made him break his promise without him even realising it. But no longer. Never again.

Because I can’t lose her. Not again. I can’t. 

He reaches his quarters in no time. Once again, his serfs have left the door unlocked and Gadriel curses them for it under his breath. Usually, he would only reserve a modicum of irritation for such a thing, but with how dark his mood is at present, it feels like a personal slight. 

The door slides open as he approaches. Eyes low, Gadriel thunders inside like a storm. 

“Not a bad place you’ve got here.”

Gadriel staggers to a halt. Both of his hearts stop dead in his chest. 

“Smaller than what I expected,” Ellie says thoughtfully. “What with how big you are and how much space you take up. But still, it’s nice. Almost… quaint.”

She’s perched on his bunk, one leg drawn up towards her chest, the other hanging off the bed’s edge. Her tattered tunic and leggings have been replaced by a grey jumpsuit that Gadriel recognises as a repurposed engineering uniform. Still short of a prosthetic arm, Ellie has tied the sleeve on its left side into a knot at the shoulder. And that’s not the only modification she’s made. She has cinched the suit’s waist with a leather belt so as to show off her figure and left the front unzipped to reveal the low v-neck of the tank top she’s wearing underneath. She grins as Gadriel takes in the sight of her; the fact that she’s here, right now. Alive and free and smiling. 

Ellie opens her mouth to say something, probably some other quip or humorous remark. But before she can, Gadriel has her in his arms. Dropping to his knees in front of where she sits, dragging her into his body, holding her as if she might turn to ash in his grip at any moment. 

Tears well within his eyes. He buries his face into Ellie’s neck before letting them fall.

Despite how tightly he’s holding her, Ellie manages to free her arm and wrap it around his neck. Gadriel feels her cheek press against his, hears her chuckling softly. 

“It’s good to see you, too,” she says. 

“What are you doing here?” Gadriel asks. His voice is muffled by her hair and the crook of her neck. “How are you here? Did you escape?”

“Escape? No! No, nothing like that.” Gently, Ellie starts to draw away, presumably to meet his eye. Gadriel, however, refuses to let her go.

“Gadriel,” she says softly. She brings her hand to the back of his head, runs her fingers up and down his scalp soothingly. “It’s alright. I’m okay. I’m not in any danger, I promise.” 

Gadriel waits one cycle of deep, ragged breath before finally relaxing his grip. His arms, however, remain firmly wrapped around her. Ellie pulls away, cupping his cheek and guiding his gaze up to meet her own. 

“What’s going on?” he asks. 

“Sit down. This is… this might take a bit to explain.” 

Gadriel does as she says, getting to his feet before joining her on the bunk. He sits on her right side, taking her hand in both of his enormous ones. Ellie smiles lightly, but she must see the worry still lingering in Gadriel’s face, because immediately after, her expression turns reassuring.

“Titus and I have worked something out,” she says. “A way for me to stay here with you without putting either of us at risk.”

“How?” Gadriel’s tone is sharper than he’d intended. Already, he’s wary of this “way”. As much as he trusts Titus, any compromise made with the laws of the Imperium is a dangerous thing. Dangerous, and rarely without sacrifice. 

Ellie continues. “Did Titus tell you that he had Magos Galeo examine my cybernetics?”

“Yes. He said the results were dire.”

“That’s… certainly a word for it,” Ellie says ruefully. “But it wasn’t the one the Magos used. See, he called it “extraordinary.””

Gadriel narrows his eyes. Without thinking, his grip around Ellie’s hand tightens. Ellie picks up on it right away. “I know what you’re thinking, and at first, I was thinking it, too. But Galeo doesn’t wanna dissect me- he wants to recruit me. As a sort of… unofficial apprentice-slash-assistant.”

“And you agreed to this?” 

“I mean… yeah,” Ellie says. “It was either that or I try to become a chapter serf. But that never would’ve worked; not when I’m eighty-percent alien metal. If my life was placed under the jurisdiction of the Ultramarines, I’d have been executed on the spot.”

“I would also never ask you to indent yourself to anyone,” Gadriel adds. “Not even to me.”

That makes Ellie smile. “Oh, you sweetheart you.”

“I’m serious.”

“I know.” Leaning into him, she rests her head on his shoulder. “And I’d have never put you in that position.” 

“So… a Magos’ assistant, huh?” 

“Far as ad-mech go, Galeo seems pretty chilled-out. He wants to still study me, of course- that’s really the only reason he wants to keep me close. But his rank will mean I’m well-protected, and my status as an unofficial member of The Machine Cult will keep pretty much everyone else off my back, for the most part.” He feels her shrug. “It’s the best I can hope for. Titus thinks so too. Besides, could be fun. As creepy as the ad-mech can be, they’re fascinating in their own way.” 

Gadriel is quiet for a moment. He looks down at his lap, where he’s holding Ellie’s hand. It’s entirely dwarfed by his own, enormous ones, as if she were a porcelain doll. 

“Gadriel? Are you okay?”

Unable to look at her, he shakes his head. “I’m sorry you have to do this,” he says quietly. “I’m sorry you can’t just… stay.”

“It’s not your fault,” Ellie replies. 

“I know, but… it feels like it is.”

“Why’s that?”

Gadriel sighs. In the pit of his stomach, something hot and heavy is pulling at him. The same thing that’d driven him to his knees back at the training hall. “I don’t know,” he admits. “I… I just wish there was something I could do. But the only thing I can think of is leaving the Ultramarines, and I can’t even do that.”

He squeezes his eyes shut. “I’m useless to you, Ellie,” he murmurs. “I can’t protect you. I’ve never been able to protect you. Not from the Underhive. Not from Severus. Not even now.” 

Ellie sits up, leaving his skin cold as she lifts her head from his shoulder. She withdraws her hand as well, and in his state of emotion, Gadriel fears she is about to leave. But instead, she brings her hand to his face. There’s pain in her eyes, but it isn’t hers. It’s his. 

“Gadriel, listen to me,” she says. “This arrangement with the Magos… it’s not your fault. It’s my choice. If I wanted, I could have chosen exile. I could’ve fled to some backwater sector, put down a few roots and live the rest of my life in relative peace. But I don’t want that, Gadriel. Not as much as I want to be with you.” 

Gadriel goes to shake his head, but Ellie stops him by tightening her grasp. Gently, she caresses his cheek with her thumb.

“And everything else that has happened to me,” she continues. “It isn’t your fault, either. You didn’t abandon me; you were taken away. And when they had you, you had as much of a choice in what you did as I did when Severus took me. I understand that now. I didn’t at first, and I’m so sorry for the things I said to you then. But now I do. And I don’t blame you for any of it.”

The affection in her gaze is almost too much for Gadriel to withstand. When was the last time someone had looked at him like that? With so much love; not for his service or his position or his duty, but simple, genuine love for him? 

Of course… It had been her.

“And, you know,” Ellie continues. “Now that I think about it, in the end, you didn’t even break your promise, either. You did come back. It may have been by coincidence, and it may have been fifty years late, but you did it. You came back to me. Just like you-”

Gadriel leans across and kisses her hard on the lips, smothering her last words. Cradling her cheeks with hands too gentle for their size and design. If the kiss takes Ellie by surprise, she doesn't show it at all. Sliding her hand up the back of his head, she tangles her fingers in his hair; her favourite thing to do when they kiss, ever since they were teenagers. With that thought, a surge of memories overcomes him; the first time she'd kissed him, during one of the many night they'd spend gazing up at the stars from the roof of his mother's slum; all the kisses of good luck, goodnight and goodbye that had followed; the kiss that had led to their first night shared together. Like a river finally freed from a concrete dam, all these memories come flooding back to him. With every one that returns, his love for her swells more and more. 

Ellie is sitting in his lap now. Knees either side of his waist, her breath growing short as she works her mouth against his. Gadriel can feel her breasts pressing against his chest, the squeeze of her thighs as she straddles him, his hips almost too broad for her legs. Tension coils in his belly. A wave of heat flushes his entire body before pooling between his legs. He lets himself fall backward, pulling Ellie with him so she's flush against his front. The bunk creaks with the impact. The weight of her body on top of his floods Gadriel's nerves with a concoction of comfort and pleasure so potent it almost makes him gasp. It also twinges the wounds in his right side, and the gasp that pulls from him, Gadriel can't manage to stifle. 

Ellie breaks the kiss, pulling away and looking at him in concern. “What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Sheepishly, Gadriel shakes his head. “I'm fine. It's only my side.”

“Oh, Throne!” Despite her dark complexion, Gadriel sees Ellie's cheeks suddenly redden. “I completely forgot, I'm sorry!”

Gadriel laughs. “You're fine. Don't worry.”

She runs her hand through his hair. The sensation sends goosebumps prickling across his skin. “If you say so,” she whispers. “Though, maybe it'd be better if you were on top; less chance of me accidently bumping you, then.”

For a handful of moments, Gadriel doesn't understand her full meaning. When he finally does, his eyes blow wide. “Do…Do  you mean-”

“Throne, Gadriel, you're giving me deja vu here.” Ellie grins from ear to ear. “Yes. That's exactly what I mean.”

The coil in Gadriel’s stomach tightens. It's joined, however, but a pang of anxiety. “Are you certain?” he asks. 

“Darling, what did I just say about deja vu-”

“No, no. It isn't like that. It's…”

Her expression turns serious again. “What?”

“Well… It’s…” Gadriel pauses to take a breath. Gather his words. “I'm not… the same as I was before.”

As sharp as always, Ellie understands his meaning right away. “Oh Gadriel…”

“I don't want to hurt you,” he whispers. “I don't want to– to frighten you.”

“You could never do either of those things,” Ellie says. She emphasises the point with a kiss. “Besides, you're not the only one,” she adds. “Eighty percent necron, remember? I'd say that makes us about even, don't you think?”

The quip makes him smile, but his anxiety is not so easily dissipated. “Ellie-”

He's cut off by warm skin touching his bare chest. Lifting up his shirt, Ellie slides her hand up and over his right pec. Her fingers trace his scars; both those sustained in battle and those left by the surgeries that'd turned him into what he is now. When she reaches the top of the muscle, she finds its neural port; one of dozens of black cybernetic nodes riveted into Gadriel’s body. Her thumb brushes over its surface. It sends stimulated shivers running through his entire being. “You could never hurt or frighten me, Gadriel,” Ellie says again. “Never.”

Then, ducking her head, she presses her lips to the same neural port from before. A soft, involuntary moan tumbles from Gadriel. He claws his fingers into the linen sheets beneath him. 

“Now,” Ellie whispers into his chest. “Flip me over. Take me. I'm yours, Gadriel. I've always been yours, and I always will be.” She kisses the port again. Again, shivers grip his entire body. “So, take me.”

That is all Gadriel needs to hear. 

*********************************************

Clasping his hands around her waist, Gadriel reverses their positions. Throwing Ellicent onto his bunk, he looms above her, framing her head with his enormous, thickly-built arms. A giggle escapes her lips. Throne, he’s enormous now. And strong. She can see it in his bulging forearms, the vice-like grip he has on the sheets beside her head. The strength to crush a skull in his fist, to turn bones to dust with a single punch. She’d always known that, of course; but it was one thing to see a space marine’s size and strength and another entirely to be pinned underneath it. But Ellicent isn’t afraid; she’s enthralled. And she knows underneath all of those scars, enhanced muscles and reinforced bone is her Gadriel. And as she had promised just moments before, he could never frighten her. He could never hurt her. 

Ellicent grabs a handful of his shirt, starts dragging it towards his head. Gadriel rears up to pull it off the rest of the way, then tosses it to the floor. Even years ago, when they’d been underhive street-rats, his body had always been impressive. But now, it’s like a work of sculpture; his chest and shoulders almost burst with the size of their muscles, and his abdomen is a terrain of shapely rises and valleys. Neural ports and surgery scars form symmetrical patterns all the way down his front, while battle scars- gashes, stab wounds and energy burns- are slashed more haphazardly. The pair of wounds from the Drukhari impaler have also scarred over, but instead of the dull pink or white of his other scars, these are still a bright, tender red.

Carefully, Ellicent runs her hand across his torso, then his chest, before finally cupping his cheek in her palm. Gadriel leans into her touch. Closing his eyes, covering her hand with his own. But it is only for a moment. Just like her, desire is tugging at him. And when he reopens his eyes, it burns as a hunger that’s almost animalistic. He grabs the shoulders of her jumpsuit, working her arm free from its sleeve before sliding it underneath her hips. Ellicent kicks it the rest of the way off, leaving her in just her panties and a thin white tank top. The latter, Gadriel practically tears off her. But when his eyes land on her naked torso, he pauses. Ellicent knows why. She’d been anticipating this moment. Dreading it. 

Carved into her skin, zig-zagging over her right hip, spilling across her breast and reaching up towards her shoulder, are lines of metal. Necronian metal. Pitch black and glowing green. They’re artifacts from her augmentations; each one marking a spot where the alien technology had been imperfectly woven into her flesh and grafted to her bones. Ellicent watches Gadriel’s expression anxiously. In her heart, she knows he won’t judge her. But even so, her fear remains. Finally tearing his eyes away from her shame, Gadriel meets her gaze. She smiles weakly. “I know. Horrifying, right?” 

Gadriel’s face softens. He touches her face, his hand so gentle despite its size. She waits for him to say something, but he does not. Instead, he lowers his head, cups her mutilated right breast and takes its nipple in his mouth. 

Ellicent lets out a gasp. Goosebumps ripple across her skin and her fingers claw into Gadriels’ scalp. Arousal throbs between her legs, made so much sweeter by the unspoken things he's telling her with his actions. That he doesn’t care what’s happened to her. He doesn’t care what she’s become. He loves her all the same. The same way he did when they were young. 

“Gadriel…” his name falls from her lips as a whimper. Her voice is weak with need. “Gadriel…”

With a final kiss, Gadriel releases her breast. His hands find the hem of her panties. He only manages to get them halfway down her thighs before his own desire overwhelms him and he buries his head between her legs. 

Ellicent’s whimpers turn to cries. Her hand forms a fist in his hair, dragging him closer, pressing him harder. Throne, how she has dreamed of this. How she has prayed to have him back, to have him take her like this all over again. In the decades since their separation, Ellicent had shared her bed with other men; but it was only to turn out the lights, close her eyes and pretend it was Gadriel. But now, she never has to pretend again. Because he’s here. He’s right here. And Emperor knows she is never letting him go again. 

She can feel her sex growing slick. Like a fire on the horizon, she can see orgasm approaching fast. But Ellicent doesn’t want it. Not yet. Not until he’s there with her. 

“Gadriel,” she says, sharper this time, so he knows it is not merely a whimper. 

“My love,” he murmurs into the skin of her left inner thigh. The feel of his breath makes her body shiver. 

“I’m- I’m ready for you.”

“Are you certain?”

“Yes,” Ellicent breathes.

Gadriel looks uncertain, but he obliges. Rearing up once more, he unties his breeches, pulling them down to the knees. His cock springs free. Purple, aching and larger than even she had been anticipating. He sees the surprise on her face, and his already flushed cheeks turn a shade redder. “Ellie, I’m-”

Ellicent sits up, silencing him with a kiss. “Not a word,” she says through a smile. “It’s perfect.”

He pauses for a moment. “If I’m hurting you,” he eventually says. “You’re to tell me, alright?"

Ellicent strokes his cheek. “I promise.”

That seems to be enough to set him at ease. Laying her back down, he adjusts himself so his hips are aligned with hers. Then, sliding an arm under her waist to support her, he enters her as slow and gentle as he can. 

Sounds of stimulation tumble from both of them; Gadriel’s low rumbling moans, Ellicent’s sharp, high-pitched gasps. Ellicent grips the massive muscles of his shoulder blades, as her body stretches and throbs around his enormous length. She can feel his back moving with his breath, which is quickly growing shallow and rapid. But he doesn’t move. Not yet. 

“Are you okay?” he rasps into her ear. 

Ellicent gives herself a moment to catch her breath. “Oh, Throne,” she whispers. “This feels like my first time again.”

“Is… is that a good thing?”

Ellicent gazes up at him through half-lidded eyes. Her lips part in a gentle smile. “What do you think?” 

Gadriel returns her smile. Still holding her around the small of her back, his other arm cradles the back of her head. Then, finally, he begins to move. 

Immediately, stars burst in Ellicent’s vision. Her hips buck against his, grinding against his pelvis. Gadriel grunts with every long, deep thrust, the sound loud, primal and utterly lusting. Ellicent throws her head back. Her exhales devolve into breathy, whimpering pants. The tension in her belly winds tighter, tighter. Kicking her panties all the way off, she locks her legs around Gadriel’s waist. Pulling him closer. Thrusting him deeper. Winding the coil tighter, tighter. 

“Ellie…” he moans into her ear. “Ellie, I-”

“I know, darling,” Ellicent gasps. Throne, she can barely even form words. 

“I… I-”

A tremendous growl cuts him off. He buries his face into the crook of her neck and his thrusts suddenly double in pace. Ellicent cries out in ecstasy. Her legs fall from his waist as they tremble uncontrollably. The tension between her legs finally snaps and orgasm seizes her every nerve. Gadriel isn’t far behind. As her body squeezes him, his growl becomes a roar, and with one final, penetrating thrust he spills his seed within her. Ellicent breathes hard through her mouth. Slickness, both Gadriel’s and her own, trickles down the inside of her thigh. Her fingers find Gadriel’s hair. Gadriel lifts his head before pressing his forehead to hers. His eyes slip closed, followed by Ellicent’s. For several moments, they remain like this. Bodies interlaced, hearts pounding in a shared, slowing rhythm. Coming back to one another from their shared high. Ellicent is the first to break the silence. “What were you about to say just now?” she whispers. “Before… you know…”

Gadriel’s voice is low and gravelly from his laboured breath. “I was about to say I love you.”

Ellicent opens her eyes. Wrapping her arm around his neck, she kisses him fiercely on the lips. “I love you too,” she murmurs. “More than anything in the world.” 

Eventually, Gadriel rolls onto his side, taking her with him. Ellicent curls up against his body, resting her cheek against his chest. She can hear his heart beat; slower and louder than the last time she’d listened to it like this, but no less familiar. She smiles lightly to herself. 

“I had something else I wanted to ask you." 

“Anything,” Gadriel replies. 

“All the humans aboard this ship- from serfs to the mechanicus staff- they all call you “My Lord.”"

“That’s right. What of it?”

“Well,” Ellicent says. “If I’m going to be the assistant to the Magos-”

“Oh, Throne-dammit,” Gadriel mutters. 

“Does that mean I have to call you that, too?” 

Gadriel scowls. “I swear on the life of the Primarch-”

“What’s the matter, my lord? Is thy Lord Astartes ailed by something?”

“Keep that up,” Gadriel grumbles. “And so help me, I will hand you over to the Inquisition right now.”

Ellicent laughs. “You wouldn’t dare.”

He pretends to think about it for a moment. Then, draping his arm around her shoulders, he plants a kiss on the top of her head. “You’re right,” he says finally. “I wouldn’t. Not even with a bolter to my head.” 

Ellicent waits for the punchline, but it never comes. Instead, he says it with complete earnestness. It makes her smile. “You’re the absolute sweetest thing, you know that?”

Gadriel kisses her crown again. “Just to you,” he whispers. 

Ellicent’s smile broadens. Soon, it is joined by the sweet sting of joyful tears. It's really him, she thinks; things she already knows, but still finds so unbelievable. He never abandoned me. And after all this time after being taken away, he found his way back to me. 

**********************************************

We did it! Hooray! We made it to the end- and it was a happy ending!!!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has read, liked, commented on and/or reblogged any part of this fic series. It took a long of time and energy to make, so seeing all your feedback and responses just motivated and inspired me to no end.

This isn't the last of Ellie and Gadriel, either. I plan to do some more, cool things with their characters and their stories, so stay tuned for that!

Thank you again, I hope you enjoyed, and stay safe out there xoxo

Taglist: @solspina @beckyninja @egrets-not-regrets @wolf-feathers12 @jaghatai-khock @lemon-russ @moodymisty @hatsubara-8chan @nereidof40k @yanagikou @fyxestroll @yurihasurunbara @lylakoi @passionofthesith @finchly-tintinnabulation @justfreakynothingelse

[onedirection-oneshot]

Safe in His Arms

The first thing I noticed was the dull ache in my lower abdomen. Then, the damp, uncomfortable feeling between my legs. My stomach twisted—not just from the cramps but from realization. My period.

I groaned internally, my face scrunching up as I shifted slightly. That’s when I felt it—Niall’s strong arms wrapped securely around me, holding me against his warm chest. His breathing was soft and even, still deep in sleep. I hated to move, but I needed to get to the bathroom now.

Carefully, I began to untangle myself from him, but even in his sleep, he held on. His arm tightened slightly around my waist as he buried his face into my neck, murmuring something incoherent. I smiled softly despite the discomfort, running my fingers lightly over his forearm.

“Niall,” I whispered. No response.

I tried again, wiggling free bit by bit until I was finally able to slip out of his grasp. His body instinctively curled into the warm spot I left behind, and I hesitated for just a moment, watching him. His golden hair was an absolute mess, lips slightly parted as he slept peacefully. Even in the dim morning light, he looked absolutely beautiful.

I forced myself to move, wincing as another sharp cramp hit. Wrapping my arms around my stomach, I hurried into the en-suite bathroom, flicking on the light. As soon as I pulled down my now red sploched knickers, I sighed. Yep. Definitely bled through.

Moving quickly, I cleaned myself up, changing into a fresh pair of underwear and grabbing a pad from the cabinet. My body still ached, my stomach twisting in discomfort, but at least now I felt slightly better.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, my eyes immediately landed on the bed. Something was different.

The sheets.

They were fresh. Clean. Changed.My stomach dropped.

Niall was now sitting up against the headboard, his eyes on me, a small reassuring smile on his face.

“Morning, love,” he murmured, voice husky from sleep. i barely heard him. My face burned as I slowly walked over to the bed. “Did I… did I bleed through?” I asked hesitantly, already knowing the answer but needing to hear it.

He nodded. “Yeah, but it’s no big deal. I changed the sheets while you were in the bathroom.”

I groaned, covering my face with my hands. “Niall…”

“What?” he asked, his tone light, amused even. "That’s so embarrassing,” I mumbled, peeking at him through my fingers.

His lips curled into a smirk as he reached for me, pulling me effortlessly back into bed. “Don’t be silly,” he murmured against my hair. “It’s just a bit of blood, babe. I really don’t mind.” I sighed, resting my cheek against his bare chest. The warmth of his skin, the steady rise and fall of his breathing—it was comforting.

“You didn’t have to change the sheets,” I whispered after a moment.

“Course, I did. You were busy, so I helped. That’s what we do, isn’t it?”

I bit my lip, my heart swelling with love for this man. “You’re too good to me.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “Damn right I am, - and you deserve it sweetheart.” he finished in a whisper.

Just then, a sharp cramp tore through my abdomen, making me wince and clutch my stomach instinctively. Niall immediately noticed. “Hurts bad?” he asked softly, concern laced in his voice.

“Yeah,” I admitted, exhaling shakily.

“Stay here,” he whispered, shifting me gently off him. I watched as he swung his legs over the bed and stood up, running a hand through his messy hair.

“Niall, you don’t have to—” He gave me a pointed look. “Stay. Here.”

I didn’t argue.

A few minutes later, he returned, holding a small tray. He set it on the nightstand and sat down beside me, pressing two painkillers into my palm.

“Take these,” he said softly, handing me a glass of water.

I obeyed, swallowing them down before noticing the steaming mug beside him. “Is that…?”

“Hot chocolate,” he confirmed with a proud smile, handing it to me. “With your fabourite mashmallows. Figured you could use something warm.”My heart melted. “You didn’t have to do all this,” I whispered.

“Of course, I did.” He cupped my cheek, his thumb brushing lightly across my skin. “It’s my job to take care of my girl.” i smiled, taking a careful sip of the drink. It was warm, sweet, comforting—just like him.

Once I was finished, he pulled me back into his embrace, tucking me against his chest like I belonged there.

“Today, we’re not leaving this bed,” he declared firmly.

i chuckled softly. “Not even for food?”

“I’ll bring it up,” he said confidently. “You just stay here, cuddle me, and let me take care of you.” I sighed contently, snuggling deeper into his warmth. “I love you, you know that?”

“I do,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “And I love you more.”

And just like that, the day melted away in the safest place I could ever be—in his arms.

[365emotionlessfaces]

The Aspiring Teachers Program

Part 5 WC:~1.4k

When you had first started at Willard R. Abbott Elementary, you did not make friends quickly. The only person that seemed to like you during your first few months was Janine Teagues. She was the only one who appreciated the pep in your step and the smile on your face. Your cheeriness seemed to irk pretty much all of the older teachers, the janitor, and the principal. Miss Schemmenti didn’t even learn your name for the first few months. Then when she did learn your name, she told you that she’s hated your name for years and you’d have to change it. She then refused to interact with you for two weeks before Barbara dragged her into your classroom one afternoon, the redhead looking like a kid in the principal’s office.

After that day, you had been welcomed to join their lunch table, by Barb and Barb only, Melissa had made sure to let you know. It only took a month of lunches together before she started to soften up to you. Now, two years later, you’d consider her one of your best friends, and hoped she considered you a friend, at least. Janine had become a trusted confidant over the past couple years, and you had spent a lot of time with her outside of the walls of the school. She knew a lot about you, including the feelings you had for a certain redhead. You couldn’t help yourself. You’d had a thing for redheads ever since you can remember. Her spicy attitude only made her that much more enticing.

You appreciated Janine more than she knew. She helped you cope with not being near family after you made the move from Lansing, she was the first to have open arms at Abbott, and definitely made you feel welcome in Philly. She was also the only person in your life that you had told about this one woman you had fallen for at this camp thing when you were nineteen.

Tonight was the night of the field trip to the Franklin Institute. You had brought a duffel bag to work full of the things you would need, not wanting to return to your apartment before the trip began.

The day began like any other. You walked into the break room to see Melissa and Barb intently watching the morning news. The second pot of coffee was brewing, but your coffee was already sitting on the table, so you took your seat between the two women. After a few minutes, Melissa shifted her body to talk to you, and you felt her knee rest against yours under the table.

“You ready for tonight?” She asked as you sipped your coffee.

“Yep! I even brought a couple of stuffed animals, in case any of the kiddos get scared,” you replied with a smile.

“Oh, that’s smart! I wish I had thought of that!” Janine said as she entered the room. “This is my first overnight field trip, well, not my first one if you count the one we took to the Mütter Museum in first grade. Oh, and the one we took to the National Constitution Center in fifth grade. But it’s my first overnight field trip as a teacher, so who knows what could happen? This trip may just change all of our lives, you know?” You couldn’t help but chuckle at your friend’s ramblings.

“Yeah, I’m sure it will. Now, will you sit down and shut up? I’m trying to watch the news,” the redhead beside you pointed at a chair, and like one of Melissa’s little eagles, Janine sat.

You couldn’t help the smile that crossed your face. You liked when Melissa got bossy. She knew what she wanted and knew how to get it.

When the news had finished, and everyone was getting ready to head to their classrooms for the start of the day, Melissa, whose knee was still very much pressing against your leg, turned to look at you again.

“I’ve got some ziti in the fridge for lunch. Figured we could have somethin’ nice for lunch, before we eat whatever kinda sandwiches the Institute gives for dinner.” You just smiled in response. Once Melissa had found out that ziti was your favorite, she had started bringing it for lunch at least once a week. She’d never admit that she does it to see you smile, only telling people that ziti was her favorite and it was just luck that you and Barb enjoyed it as much as she did.

Ziti was not Barb’s favorite. In fact, she much preferred when the redhead brought in her risotto. Barb had attempted to relay this information to her work wife only once, as the redhead seemed to be in shock and when the woman had looked at you and then back to Barb with a look of almost panic in her eyes, Barb seemed to understand immediately. The woman backtracked, telling Melissa that ziti was wonderful, and would love for her to continue making the amazing dish.

“Ooh, yum! My favorite!” You exclaimed as you gathered your duffel and your coffee and began heading for the door. “I can’t wait!” You called out behind you, leaving the room full of coworkers and friends. Gregory and Jacob, who had snuck in quietly while the news was on, both looked at Janine before the three of them looked to Melissa. No one left in the room missed the stupid lovestruck grin on the redhead’s face, but even Barb wasn’t brave enough to mention it. In fact, no one had mentioned it any time that same grin appeared on the woman’s face over the past year. They all just looked on, waiting for the redhead to realize it herself.

When lunchtime came, you entered the break room and were immediately greeted by the best smell in the world: Melissa’s cooking. She had already warmed your food, and had it sitting on the table waiting for you. God, you could just marry the woman right now. You took your place between the two veteran teachers, and the three of you began talking excitedly about your plans for the field trip.

As your friends and coworkers entered, Jacob was holding a piece of paper that he was treating like a piece of gold he had just mined from the garden out front. Janine asked him what it was and he got that look on his face that indicated he was about to get really excited for something that no one else would share his enthusiasm for.

“I got invited to participate in the Aspiring Teachers Program!” He did an excited hand wiggle, the paper crumpling slightly as he did.

“They’re still doing that?” Barb asked.

“I did that once. Worst week of my life.” Melissa harrumphed out. Barb offered the redhead a knowing look, attempting to reassure her.

“I went to that once, too!” You piped up. “It was amazing! Definitely the reason I’m teaching,” you said before digging into the treasured food on your plate.

“It’s in Boston this year. I’m so excited. I’ve never been to Boston in the fall,” Jacob said wistfully.

“It’s a summer program,” you laughed out. Jacob looked at the paper again.

“Well, I’ve never been to Boston, so it’ll be a good opportunity for me to really open my eyes on what diversity could really look like.”

Janine’s voice called out from the couch, as she turned to look at you. “Wait, isn’t that where you met that-”

“Wonderful teacher who inspired me to follow my dream of inspiring children to learn?” You cut her off. “Yep. That’s the place,” you shot her a look, telling her to keep quiet with your eyes. You didn’t feel the two women on either side eyeing you suspiciously. Though they had questions, they both could read the room. It was not something to ask about right now.

You all returned to regularly scheduled discussions, plans for the rest of the school day, plans for the field trip, and even which parts of the field trip that had the grown adults excited to go. You finished your lunch, telling Melissa that this is the best one yet.

“You say that every time. I think you lying,” Mr. Johnson said from the coffee station.

“Nope, Mr. J, she just keeps outdoing herself,” you smiled at Melissa as you said it, and definitely noticed the redhead blush slightly.

“Thanks, hon,” was all she could muster as a reply.

“Of course! I wouldn’t lie about something so important,” you said sweetly as you cleaned your spot at the table. Gathering your things, you said your goodbyes and headed back to your class to finish out the day, once again leaving a room full of your coworkers to witness Melissa’s lovesick smile.

Part Six

[yanderefarm]

I’m in a mean mood rn and want to punish Phillip for no reason. (I know it’s not really a punishment since he’d let reader do anything but shh work with me here)

Imagine a reader who has a bunch of work ti do and is really tense so Phillip starts like “let me take care of you” and trying to make them take a break but reader is so on edge that he just ends up pushing them over it instead. So now since he’s been such a distraction while reader is trying to work he needs to be punished.

Him and his stupid, sexy body are too tempting so his cock needs to be locked in a cage and he’s gonna get tied up, forced to kneel out of sight with his arms behind him. And that silver tongue of his will definitely be a problem so he gets gagged as well.

Now reader obviously can’t punish him fully right now cause they need to finish work so he’ll sit there until they’re done. Then he’ll be taken over and bent across the desk in order to be spanked for being so damn tempting. And why stop at just spanking his ass? Give his balls a few whacks, turn him over and crop those sensitive nipples of his, turn his thighs different shades of red too.

And now that reader has finished work and gotten rid of some of their angry stress Phillip can be untied and uncaged 🥰 they can both take a quick break for snacks and water and then he can ride the reader until he’s completely sure all their stress has dissipated

(Sorry it ended weird I got distracted halfway through writing)

cw;; bondage, caning, age gap, chastity cage

Phillip's figure ever present at your side, always right within arm's reach like a doting mother watching her child's first steps. But you are not a child. His ability to always be present by your side for your needs is usually a good thing, if you need a drink or snack he'll be able to get it for you immediately. But when you're already overstimulated and aggravated by the idiocy and greed of nobility the last thing you want is someone hovering over your shoulder. It's not his fault, you know it's not his fault. But he's so fucking annoying the way he peers over your shoulder almost like a teacher grading your work or his tender smile as he gently corrects a spelling mistake. It's not a surprise when your quill snaps, a mess of ink all over your shirt and the form you now have to refill.

Your hands are shaking as Phillip diligently cleans up the mess and retrieves a clean version of the document for you. Isn't he so nice? And he goes to standing by your side again like he's not at fault.

"....Phillip."

"Yes, your grace?"

"On your knees."

You've clearly caught him off guard as he stands there without moving for a breath.

"Sir?"

"On. Your. Knees. I will not repeat my order again."

You can hear his breath hitch slightly before he falls to his knees besides you. His hands rest on his thighs and he looks up at you almost eager for his discipline. You call one of the maids to bring you a discipline rod and rope. It doesn't escape your eyes the way he shivers but his face remains neutral as he shifts his gaze forward.

Once the maid brings you the items you lock the door and ask not to be disturbed. She has barely contained glee seeing the figure of Phillip in such trouble, no doubt about to inform the whole manor that the most loyal sadistic butler has earned himself discipline. The humiliation is certainly part of the punishment.

"Undress."

Phillip doesn't hesitate to begin undressing, determined not to gain anymore of your ire.

"Your grace... I apologize for speaking out of turn but may I ask... What did I do that displeased you?"

You caught yourself blushing and looking to the ceiling as he removed his pants and underwear. You clicked your tongue against your teeth.

"You're the one who caused me to destroy my quill and spill ink everywhere. Are you not going to take responsibility?"

"Ah..." His voice was like a knowing parent and he smiled to himself as he lowered his head. It reignited your anger again.

The wooden rod cracked down against his naked thigh.

"Stop looking down on me."

Before he could try to defend himself you cracked the rod against his thighs again. The sound of it against bare skin was loud enough to be heard out in the hall but Phillip did not make a sound. Still his thighs were quick to turn red and his eyes wet with the hint of tears. The most disgusting part was that his cock was hard, red, and dripping.

You poked the tip with the wooden rod. "Do you even have any shame and remorse for your actions?"

Before he could speak you hit his thighs again finally earning a strained noise from the words caught in his throat. You grabbed his neck forcing him to look up towards you.

"You're nothing but a vile pervert getting enjoyment from this."

The tears gathered in his eyes finally spilled down his cheeks as he looked up at you. He looked wrecked. His pink lips opened slightly while his breathing was rough and shakey. Tears cascaded down his cheeks from his wide red eyes that gazed at you with admiration and shame. His thighs were red with the outline of the wooden rod's lashes against his tender skin. The hands that rested in fists above the lashes were trembling. And again there was his leaking red cock with pre cum dribbling down from the tip.

"Unsightly."

You ignored the way the sight made your own cock twitch against your pants and instead you went to your desk, dragging the man by his neck with you. His sinful form half crawling across the floor to follow you was definitely not helping. There in your desk drawer you found an abandoned cock cage once given to you as a gift from a religious zealot.

After figuring out how to force your servant's length into the little cage you turned away from him. You abandoned the discipline for later because you had work to get back to. But it's not like you could let Phillip just go back to hovering over your shoulder. You grabbed the length of rope you'd asked for before and you began tying him up tightly. He obediently allowed himself to be completely restrained with his discarded underwear serving as the perfect gag.

You pressed your foot against one of his thighs, enjoying the way it brought fresh tears to his eyes. "Be good and sit there until I'm done working, we'll continue your punishment then."

He wasn't going to leave your office without being bruised and sore. And leaking cum down his legs if he's lucky.

[huh-1260]

The boy is dead. He died at thirty no take backs. He is now haunting the world to help Wild um, (checks notes) a millennium later

[euclydya]

being in control has been fun but can someone else take the reigns now