#I need to do unspeakable things to this man

[tacobacoyeet]

More dilf Patrick!! Pls!!!🤭🤭🤭

i am sorry it took me so long to get to this. i have been thinking So Much. there is smut MDNI!!!!! also i did not proof this at all i was quite literally just yapping

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hear me out: he’s wearing those old ass shorts. you know the ones. frayed at the bottom, loose at the thigh, hanging low enough to hint at the curve of his hipbone. and they have a hole. somewhere vaguely obscene. and he will not throw them out. “they’ve got history,” he says. yeah. so does the roman empire. let it die.

he also has a mug that says "best dad" in comic sans and he drinks his coffee black out of it like it’s some kind of war ration?? always finishes the last two bites of your food. carries cheez-its and specifically the tangy great value fruit smiles in his hoodie pocket and forgets they’re there until bedtime.

and then there’s the dad stuff that just—does something to you. the way he crouches to tie tiny shoes and mutters “double knot for safety” with his brows furrowed like a surgeon. the way he lifts the kid one-armed onto his hip and groans like he just deadlifted 200 pounds. the way he kisses their head and says “you good, champ?” and then walks around the grocery store like that for twenty minutes. like it’s nothing. like he wasn’t once a world-class athlete. now he’s just a dad with a half-eaten granola bar in his back pocket and spit-up on his collar.

and you shouldn’t want him more now. but you do. so badly it’s stupid.

he gets the mail barefoot in the rain. does bath time with a towel wrapped around his shoulders like a cape. makes grilled cheeses with the baby strapped to his chest and sings off-key lullabies to a beat that doesn’t exist. he reads bedtime stories in a funny voice even when he’s tired. insists on brushing their teeth "together as a team" even though it takes ten fucking years. he's always been a fan of overcomplicating things... LOL.

you catch him folding onesies in the laundry room—folding, not shoving into drawers—and you’re gone. you back into the dryer and he raises an eyebrow like “babe?” and you’re like “babe.” and then the dryer’s on and the baby monitor is quiet and he’s fucking you up against the clean whites because he’s still got it. he never lost it.

and then later he’s limping slightly, rubbing his back, saying “think i pulled something” while putting aquaphor on the baby’s butt and you’re just sitting there stunned. who is this man?????

also: sunday morning sex when the kids are at art and tashi's. slow and lazy and filthy. he lets you ride him for so long it’s almost mean. your bellies touch. your chests touch. everything is touching. and he moans like you’re doing something unspeakable just by loving him like this. just by wanting him now. like this. after all these years. after the weight and the hair and the way his back cracks when he bends to pick up a sock. you still want him. and it undoes him.

he’s yours. he’s always been yours. and now there are tiny humans sleeping in the next room with his eyes and your smile and he still looks at you like he can’t believe it.

this next section about you bring pregnant. i must admit i had to take a Break because my thoughts were a little crazy!!!! but we are up. anyway: he doesn’t just like the changes. he’s obsessed with them. stretch marks? he traces them like constellations. swelling? he kneels between your legs and kisses every inch. softness? he talks about it like it’s a fucking miracle.

you complain about feeling huge and he goes “good.” not teasing—genuinely pleased. “means you’re growing our kid. means your body’s doing its job. means you’re mine.”

sex while pregnant? his favorite. the extra sensitivity. the way your body cradles his. the need. he takes his time. checks in. holds your belly like it’s part of the rhythm. mutters things that make no sense and still make you cry. "so beautiful. fuck. how are you real?"

and after? postpartum?

when you feel like a stranger to yourself—sore and squishy and leaking and tired—he’s there. nosing at your neck while you pump. holding your hips while you cry over clothes that don’t fit. carrying you to bed when you fall asleep mid-feed.

he’s careful, but not scared. when you’re ready, he touches you like he never stopped wanting you. like the body you’re grieving is still his favorite thing in the world. maybe more so now.

he kisses your belly with so much love and admiration. groans about how soft you feel. his hands don’t leave your skin. his voice drops to a whisper. “all mine. all this—mine.”

and when you flinch or get shy? when you mutter “i don’t feel sexy” he freezes. stares at you like you’ve just insulted god. and then he fucks a correction into you because he will Never ever accept you not thinking you aren't beautiful. we already know patrick feels things deeply!!! he's crazy about you!!!

he doesn’t need you to bounce back. he needs you to stay. to let him memorize every version of you. to believe him when he says he’s never wanted anyone more.

and you start to believe it. a little. when he looks at you like that. but then he makes some fuckass comment about how his bones aren't equipped for that kind of strain anymore and you just roll your eyes and move on. small victories

[vezhenart]

this wretched mischief is now coursing through your souls

never to let go

[that-sarcastic-writer]

I’m so fucking mad about the utter mind fucking lack of Dexter fics in this place. no way this man was the original sexy crash out sociopath sk and none of yall have written a single thing about him. I can’t do it all myself pLEASE.

[lavendermin]

Do you think with a lactation kink also comes with the breeding kink for Jing Yuan...

By law they need to be a package deal bc I said so🙂‍↕️ Thee bread and butter of this blog. Makes me howl at the freak moon or whatever.

cw | breeding, lactation, mdni

That man is insufferable and would absolutely express out loud to you that if you do fall pregnant after his breeding efforts, he would love to taste you once your lactation period begins. He's at your chest, lips firmly attached to your puffy nipple like the depraved man he is in the sanctity of your shared bedroom. Would develop a habit of getting you to sit on his lap stroking his twitching cock, his hand on your cute rounded tummy and his lips firmly suckling on your chest. Pulls away with a wet pop and the most debauched, lust-hazed expression, his chin glistening with your milk from where he was messily gulping down mouthfuls.

Loves to help out when your breasts are just so full of milk that they’re a little uncomfortable and leaving wet patches on your robe. He’s all too eager to help. Pats his lap so you can come over and he’ll happily make you feel better.

[makpees]

there’s been something in the water recently…….

[impuls1veworm]

I’m not kidding anymore, I need Davrin in a way that’s concerning to modern feminism

[tacoreib]

[yeehawpartner131]

there's something about blond robot men that makes me think depraved thoughts😈😛

[vaguely-concerned]

every time rye hears lucanis really laugh he has such a mortifying '*sick and harrowed with longing to the very depths of his soul* alright :)' moment. I just got the banter where taash talks about stuff their mother told them about crows as a kid and it was a 10 on the soul quaking richter scale event

[thecoyotescry]

Hello, it’s me again. You wanna know what I’ve been thinking about recently, gang?

So we all know how Matt is a sober sister, right? Well, I’ve been thinking about calling him to come pick you up after going out for the night with your friends. He would never judge you or try to keep you from going out just because he doesn’t drink, he’s not that type of guy. But he would be so adamant that you call him when you’re ready to leave the bar/club because “there’s no way in hell I’m letting you call an Uber when I am perfectly capable of getting you home safely.” The casual dominance of this guy??? Folded like a lawn chair!!!

And when he gets there to pick you up? He’s holding back his laughter because of how cute and endearing you are, especially if you’re a cuddly and/or giggly and silly drunk. He’d listen to you ramble on, tipsy and telling him all about what you and your friends got up to. And when you’re finally back home and ready for bed, he’d be sure to put an extra glass of water and some pain meds on the bedside table before getting cozy on his side next to you.

(AHHHHH!!!!! I need him I need him I need HIM!!!!!)

[larcenywrites]

When I- when he- …when his-

[hexwatch]

I need more Elias Bitchard in my life. I'm already drinking in every ounce of him I can get from the episodes, to fan art and literally all the fan fics. I want to turn him into a smoothie and inject him into my veins(in a completely normal non-weird way). I'm like speed listening to tma just for Elias at this point and it hate him so badly for all that he has done. But fuck me(not really), he's really hot and I love the energy he exudes.

[toupee-or-nottoupee]

my new rot is making sharp & ronen take in sebastian at the end

[its-a-show-stoppin-number]

me seeing literally any Lewis Pullman character:

[lavendermin]

SIRENS BLARING, RED ALARMS GOING OFF IN ALL ROOMS, SECTOR LOCKDOWNS, AN EMERGENCY MEETING IS CALLED TO DISCUSS THIS WELT YANG

[stormbreaker-290]

I think :333 you like Malware :333 just something I noticed /silly

Ooh hhhhhhh realgggyyyyyyyyy

No way uy yyyyyyy

Hhh o w couldyou have toldd,,,,..,.,,,,