#I need to bite someone (enraged. Vengeful.)

[satans-knitwear]

I'm your little harlot, starlet, Queen of Coney Island

Raisin' hell all over town

Sorry 'bout it

Treat me ~ Tip me

[monomonomagines]

For the Anon that Requested the V3 Boys Finding S/o Dead and Being Mocked in the Class Trial

Thank you thank you thank you anon for being so understanding about my issues with gore and blood. I'm normally ok as long as I don't go into more than general details so I hope it's still to your liking.

As I said before, I love you and am elated that you were so understanding. I hope you enjoy this anon!

Rantaro

Rantaro hadn't expected the Body Discovery Announcement to play so early in the morning but when did anyone expect it to go off really.

It was always a premonition for another terrifying class trial and that's all they ever would be for him.

He expected to be able to talk to you asking you to help him investigate per usual but when he approached the gym and saw everyone surrounding what presumably was a body but his heart sank.

Why weren't you there? If you were the only one he couldn't pick out then were you really what everyone was surrounding?

Before he comprehended it his hands were already parting the sea of his fellow classmates when there in the center you lay in a puddle of your own blood and a knife nearby.

Rantaro thought this was a nightmare and he wanted to wake up but when Shuichi and everyone else continued with the investigation he knew this was real.

He thought this couldn't get worse but then during the trial when the murderer began mocking you he couldn't help but feel like he was being kicked while he was down.

How dare he tell him about your screams of help, of how he wasn't there to protect you. How dare he!

Although he was normally fairly calm all hell broke loose in that trial.

Meaning, if not for the rules he would've definitely beaten the murderer.

Ryoma

Ryoma was in his lab when he heard that accursed announcement ring out in the same manner as always.

Great, another trial. He groaned audibly just wanting to see you.

He knew he'd have to help with the investigation but being with you always helped him stay grounded.

That's why he didn't even know how to react when the very ground he used to stand upon was somehow pulled from under his feet.

He didn't even know how to react when he walked in and saw everyone part for him.

There you lay so silent, so still. Not a drop of blood or anything tarnishing your image.

He could quickly put together that you were still dead, you were poisoned maybe he thought and when that blasted murdered mocked you.

When they dared to mock how the light left your eyes and told him of your demise well, it wasn't much of a shock that he watched that execution the whole time.

He'd make sure they'd pay for what they did to you.

Korekiyo

Kiyo already lost his sister so you were all he had.

He wasn't normally shaken up by this murder game as much as he should've been but he still didn't expect to hear the Body Discovery Announcement going off so late into the night.

He was confident that you'd all be able to find the murderer though so he wasn't too worried.

He'd simply stick by you the entire time that the investigation was occurring and would assist where he was needed only.

His confidence, however, was short-lived when he saw everyone looking at him, surrounding a body and some rope on the ground.

He pushed through immediately needing to know if it was what he thought and when it was, all he could do was laugh.

He laughed and laughed until he began to sob for you were all he had left and now you were gone.

Without you, he had nothing so he would do anything to make whoever did this suffer.

He is by far the most vengeful and is equally methodical.

He'd purposefully corner the murderer to the point that all they can do is mock him. Mock him about how you struggled against your bounds how you slowly stopped breathing how you were in agony and most of all how he wasn't there.

Like Ryoma, he'd watch their execution to the very end but under his mask is his own sinister smile.

They would pay for taking you from him.

Gonta

Gonta was always by your side so as soon as he heard the announcement go off he was already bounding to be at your side.

However, when he got to the Dining Hall, he knew that'd be impossible.

You were on the table and he couldn't even bear to look at what they had done to you.

There were forks and knives and all sorts of sharp pointy things in the dining hall and kitchen but Gonta never thought he'd see a single one used against you.

That's why he couldn't help but to cry out immediately.

He wasn't there for you and he regretted it.

However, he was also enraged. That's why when the murderer began to mock him he wasn't able to be stopped by anyone but Shuichi calmly trying to get him to focus more so on getting that person voted the blackened rather than Gonta beating him to a pulp.

Gonta won't watch the execution but he'll still cry at another classmate of his being taken away.

They might've killed you but they were still his friend. If only you guys weren't stuck here. Then Gonta wouldn't have had to lose both of you.

Kokichi

Kokichi always rushed to the scene of crime whenever he heard that announcement rear its ugly head.

He always had to know what was going on so when it was another locked room mystery he picked the lock without much thought other than that it was as easy as the last.

He proudly walked in with Shuichi and the others so proud of his own skills that at first, it didn't sink in that you were dead.

At first, it wasn't you that lay face down and bloody on the ground with the murder weapon lying nearby.

No, it was someone else. It wasn't the one person he got close to. Not at all.

Even during the trial, he'd act chipper as ever trying to lie to himself until the murderer begins to mock him.

How dare he!? Not only did he take the one person that Kokichi had truly opened up to but now they were mocking the way that you trusted him so much, how you called for him even as you were slowly fading from this world.

It wasn't fair at all! He'd expect something like this but being mocked just made the damn break.

Suddenly Kokichi was doing more work than Shuichi to finish up the class trial, not even one bs statement coming from his lips.

He was serious about avenging you and he certainly did just that when the killer was voted the blackened.

Like Gonta he wouldn't even bother to watch the execution. He'd just excuse himself as soon as it was possible to go back to his room. He needed time to isolate himself for a while.

Kaito

Kaito was terrified each time he heard the Body Discovery Announcement but he knew that he'd be needed to help so he'd have to come to the scene of the crime.

Normally he'd catch you on the way and you'd head in together but it seemed like you beat him.

Alright, he guesses he doesn't really mind in the end since it's not like he can't catch you then but when he notices a strange vial next to your body sitting in a chair as though you were just asleep he still lets out a shrill scream.

You were gone. He couldn't save you. How did this even happen? Why did it have to be you?

Kaito would immediately get angry trying to get an answer out of everyone through yelling and hitting things but no one would answer him.

It wouldn't be until the class trial when that same question comes to bite him in the ass.

As soon as Shuichi pinpoints a murderer Kaito finds himself in shock and soon even more anger as they immediately begin to mock him, telling him how much you screamed for him to save you. How even as you died you continued to utter over and over that he'd be there to protect you even when he wasn't.

Kaito knows he can't beat them up but he definitely would scream his head off even as the voting is taking place.

He wouldn't watch the execution but he wouldn't be himself for a long time after that trial. He'd always blame himself for not being there, for not being your knight in shining armor.

Kiibo

Kiibo was always extremely worried when that terrible announcement would sound.

It was terrifying whether you were a robot or human and all he really wanted to do was to see you.

It'd help him calm down he thought but he couldn't have been more wrong.

He made his way to the pool but he'd never expect to see you floating lifelessly in it.

He didn't care how you died or who did it at the moment. What he wanted to know was why someone would dump you into the pool like that why they'd have to add insult to injury.

He'd be trying so hard to seem helpful the entire investigation but at times he'd need a moment.

He just couldn't fathom how this could happen. Why did he let it happen? Why wasn't he there for you?

He thought that'd be the worst of it. That'd they be able to vote your murderer the blackened and be done with it but when the murderer started mocking you and him he didn't know how to respond.

He knew he should've been there and that you'd probably tried to attract his attention somehow but he just couldn't react much.

Kiibo would stop functioning and even as the blackened would be executed would not move from his spot. All he was capable of doing was thinking about you when you were alive and how much he missed you.

Shuichi

Shuichi never had much confidence but with you by his side, he always felt so much stronger.

He wasn't looking forward to dealing with another murder when that sickening Announcement played but he was still ready to use his talents to help none the less.

He felt determined to take on this case but when he opened the door to your research lab and saw the same things you used for your talent being the cause of your death he just froze.

This couldn't be real he thought.

This was just a bad dream and he'd wake up and see you in the dining hall with everyone else.

He wanted to believe that and at the same time knew he was lying to himself.

He'd force himself to work twice as diligently as normal in order to expose your killer.

He needed to for your sake and his own peace of mind but when he cornered the killer with all his evidence he wasn't ready for what his ears heard next.

He didn't want to know that you called out for him, that you cried and begged, he didn't want to hear any of it.

He'd continue to work against them but as he did plenty of tears would make their way down his cheeks.

He would make sure to get them voted the blackened but he wouldn't watch them in their execution.

He made peace by focusing only on honoring your memory. He wasn't out for blood, he was out for your approval even if he could no longer hear it.

[lostinaseaoffictionalbliss]

Hell Hath No Fury

Summary: You’ve never liked Aurora and when she shows up in New Orleans you become furious. Your brothers have to talk you down.

Paring: none

Warnings: talks of violence, talks of abuse

Word Count: 976

Being half werewolf meant having a temper. You became angry a lot easier than others. And when you became a vampire that emotion was heightened.  As was your desire to protect and watch over your twin Klaus. Yet you normally kept your temper under control. Even when dealing with your father for Klaus. For as long as you could remember the two of you had, had each other’s backs. You often took beatings from Miakel that were meant for him. Klaus was never happy about it, but there wasn’t anything he could do. It was in you to protect the ones you cared about and that would never change.

Over the years you continued to stay loyal and protect  Klaus. When Aurora came into your lives you thought she was trouble. You never liked her and you certainly didn’t trust her. You thought she was an absolute paractic bitch who was using your brother. When you finally got her out of your lives you were happy. You didn’t want her around your family or anyone you cared about.

However she was like a disease you just couldn’t get rid of. Over the years she kept showing up in your lives. Each time you became more and more enraged by her presence, but Klaus wanted her there and you wouldn’t argue with him. You would keep your thoughts to yourself. At least that was what you told yourself.

When Trinity, Elijah’s exclusive little club, showed up in New Orleans you were upset. You didn’t like them or the things they stood for. The hated werewolves and that meant they hated you and Klaus. But what really bothered you about their presence was if they were there it was only a matter of time before Aurora showed up and you didn’t want here there. Things seemed to be going semi-well between your brother and Cami. You could tell he loved her and that she made him happy.

And truth be told you and Cami had become good friends. She listened to you talk about the things you’ve been through, seen, done; and she didn’t judge you. In turn you had her back and if she wanted to rant about your twin brother or anyone else for that matter you let her. It was like having another sister and you loved every moment, but right now you were fuming. Fury hotter than the sun rushed through your veins. Word had reached you that not only was Aurora in town, but she had changed Cami.

Your best friend, the sweet human girl you didn’t want becoming a vampire now shared your curse. “Oh that bitch. I swear I’m going to rip her limb from limb, slowly torture her by pulling off her nails, driving spikes with vervain on them into her skin and when she can’t take anymore I’m going to rip her apart and leave her begging before finally killing her,” You snarled as you paced back and forth.

Klaus stared at you in surprise. Many times you had been vengeful, but that was dark even for you. “Big sister is that really the answer? Torture really isn’t your style.”

You stopped pacing and turned to your twin your anger clear in your eyes and your stance. “For her I’m willing to commit such atrocities. I’ve always hated her. You know I have and now she’s going to come into my home, our kingdom and turn my best friend as revenge! I don’t fucking think so Nick! She isn’t getting away with this. You can either help me or stay out of my way. I don’t care which.” You stormed out of the compound intent on finding Aurora and exacting your very painful revenge.

Klaus watched you go and shook his head. He was completely shocked by your actions. In all the years he’s known you he has never seen you be so vindictive. While you were always protective of those you cared about and you always had a temper you had never went out of your way to cause ungodly pain to someone. It was a out of character. “Hell hath no fury…” He went in search of Elijah. If anyone could get you to calm down before you did something you’d regret it was your big brother.

“Elijah you need to go after our sister. She is intent on torturing Aurora. At this point I’m worried what other things she has come up with after the talk we just had. She’s being very dark and vindictive. It would seem Cami being changed has pushed her over the edge.”

“Why can’t you calm her Niklaus? She is your twin.”

“She told me to help or stay out of her way. It was rather shocking really. She’s never been so bossy toward me.  It’s why I’m seeking your help.”

“Fine I will go get her. I won’t let her become like the rest of us. Blood on her hands and hating who she has become.” Elijah stood to go get you.

Klaus let out a sigh of relief. “Yes that would be tragic wouldn’t it.”

You were stalking toward Aurora’s place when Elijah stepped in front of you. You growled and crossed your arms. “I’m guessing you and Nik are here to stop me. I thought I told him to help or stay out of the way.”

“You did sweet sister, but did you really think Elijah and I would let you do this?”

You raised a brow. “Why stop me? She deserves it.”

Elijah smiled softly. “We aren’t saying she doesn’t. Simply this isn’t the right way. You are not this person let us handle this.”

You turned to Nik. “You plan to make her pay?”

Klaus nodded. “Of course.”

Biting your lip you thought it over. “Well as long as the bitch gets what’s coming to her.”

[hetaliawhatifs]

How would the 2p!s react to being slapped by their S/o?

I will say this loud and say this once….DO NOT EXPECT HAPPY ENDINGS with the 2ps. These boys take no shit. Some of them have been through enough.Also: Warning. Language, abuse, no good times. Alright? -Admin Jay

2p Canada: *rubs his cheek before his eyes go cold and he looks away from his s/o* “Get out. Just get out.”That half second of contact would end it all. Whatever he and his s/o had would be over. Matt has been through enough in his life, and to have someone he let in and trusted hurt him physically, it would be a blow across all boards. Emotionally, he would shut down. Any progress toward making him smile more, or be more open about how he feels would be gone. Physically, he wouldn’t bruise since he has been in worse fights with his brother, Allen, but he would always gently touch the spot where he was slapped and get enraged at the thought of it. He would isolate himself even more than he already did and just fall into long episodes of sleeping for days or just working himself until he passes out on the floor from exhaustion. Despite all of their fights, Allen would come through for his brother and be there, but his s/o would have a demon on there heels, Hell hath no fury like Allen enraged.

2p France: *stares down at the floor before gritting his teeth and pushing his s/o back as he growls* “Leave. And don’t even look back.”Francois would be shocked then utterly disgusted. Disgusted that he let himself believe that love was real, that love found him, that he believed in his s/o and their touch. He would never look at them, but would tell them to get their things and leave. For good. Without looking back. Francois would want nothing to do with them again. He let them into his heart, something he thought was long dead and they brought joy and life into his world, and they killed it. They stabbed him in the back and left him to emotionally rot. Francois would sink himself into a depressive cycle of smoking and drinking, packs upon packs, and bottles upon bottles. He would live in his kingdom of solitude in his house as he stops caring about everything, because he was right all along. Love is dead. It never existed in the first place. 

2p England: *bites his lip as he looks at his s/o with heartbroken eyes as tears well up in his light blue eyes, his trembling hand clutching slap mark*Oliver would be taken aback and be speechless as he looks at his s/o with pure fear in his eyes. He would be trembling as he staggers back from them and ends up tripping and falling on the floor as he curls up. He wouldn’t be able to look at them for a long time, though once he did he would look like a wounded child. Oliver would take a shaky breath before telling them to get out, he would need time to cope with what happened…but unlike everyone else in his little family…he would take them back. He would be convinced it was him he did something wrong and he deserved it. So he would welcome them back with open arms and sweets, but if they raised a hand near him in any way or just around him, he would flinch and be ready to be hit again. Oliver would forever be scared of what his s/o is capable of, but would still want to be with them…because he loves them. And love needs to stay strong.

2p America: *stumbles back a step as he is caught off guard, but soon his eyes would flash a murderous red as he growls and swings back at his s/o, full strength and no regrets*Allen has been abused in his life too many times; he can’t even keep track. If his s/o dared to hit him, he would not hold back as flashbacks of his childhood and every other time come back to him in a flash. He would swing hard and fast, and mean every inch of the pain. Allen would growl at them as he stands above them panting and glaring down at them before grabbing his belongings and leaving out the front door, or kicking his s/o out with all of their things. He would mentally and emotionally check out for the time in front of his s/o, but for days afterward he would be filled with rage. Nothing would be safe from his anger as he takes it out on the world and his own body: anger that he let someone in who would hurt him, anger that he wasn’t strong enough to stop it before it got to that point, anger that he was alone again. Allen, in a moment of desperation, would seek out Matt for a good fight and just to have someone nearby who he knows he can trust. The only one he can trust. 

2p Russia: *doesn’t even flinch, but stares them down with eyes made of pure ice*Viktor wouldn’t speak. Viktor wouldn’t move. Viktor would just stare his s/o down with the iciest eyes possible and just wait for the tension in the room to choke them. He would let his intimidating size, icy and vengeful glare, and the ominous tension say everything for him. They are over, there is no taking it back, and they had only moments to flee before wrath is rained down upon them like hell fire. Viktor would not tolerate any kind of abuse from his s/o, especially if they had been making him open up over time. Any notion of him being sweet, or becoming more friendly would die on the spot. Winter would come, and the eternal snow would last for ages. 

2p China: *gasps and backs up before looking at his s/o and biting his lip* “T-that…wasn’t for play…just…go…go away…”Zhao is into some rough play, but even he knows when play time is over. And as soon as his s/o’s hand contacts him in a harsh slap, he would know that it was over. Their relationship would be ended right there, and he would need time to really process all that happened. He would tell his s/o to leave and would have them take their stuff with them. Zhao would take a long time to recover from the blow in every sense, which means he may relapse into some heavy drug usage…but in the end he would come out of it alright and go back out on the prowl for a new partner. Why wait around and mope? Life is only so long.

2p Germany: *hardly moves but looks at his s/o with a raised eyebrow and gently touches the slap mark* “You really didn’t think that through, did you?”Lutz is a big guy. Big guys hit hard. If his s/o is looking for a fight, they found it. He won’t swing right away, but if that is what he deems necessary, then he will swing. Though at first, he wouldn’t take them seriously, he would hardly feel the slap. He goes through worse during his workouts, or trying to be near Luciano when the Italian rages. He would laugh at his s/o’s attempt, and if they are angry he knows it would only make it worse. Let it. He can take them in a fight and if they can make up after that, then they will be fine. If not, they can leave. Lutz won’t let anyone rain on his parade. 

2p Italy: *gasps then growls as he whirls around to glare down his s/o, murder in his eyes as he clenches his fists and starts to yell* “WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!”Luciano is a fighter. He would not take this offense lightly, and his s/o better be ready for a riot. He would turn and scream, hit, and if his knife is close, he would threaten them. Luciano refuses to let anyone have the upper hand on him, and if that means having to get a little bloody, then so be it. After yelling, screaming and fighting back against his s/o, Luciano would throw them out. Every last item of theirs, Luciano would chuck as far as he could from his door and make them pick it all up as he slams and locks the door behind him. Not to mention, they wouldn’t be free from him. He will have revenge, the questions are, when, where, and how horrible will it be. 

2p Japan: *catches their wrist before they can hit him and squeezes it tightly before staring directly into their eyes* “Don’t. Even.”Kuro would not take any shit from his s/o, if they tried to hit him, they wouldn’t even be fast enough. He would catch their wrist and squeeze it until they felt unbearable pain, and not let go. He would stare them down and make them submit to him before he even loosened his grip. Though, Kuro would make sure they pack all of their things and left. He wouldn’t have time to deal with that, and would want them gone. No messages, no goodbyes, no affection. Just a cold stare and the door slamming behind them. And locking.

[im-abanana]

“Caged Hearts” ch.5

Hey people, guess what? I am not dead! Sorry for the LONG wait, school intership and tests killed me without any mercy... but ehy, I’m back now and stronger than before (I guess?). In the next days I will post the third chapter of “The Forbidden Fruit”, don’t worry about it. Enjoy this chapter!

This AU belong to @king-branch, credits to them.

“Branch...? It was really you, you are the guy who sang with me for all this time!? No way!” Poppy literally jumped on the grey Troll after just a moment of thinking, almost not believing it, holding him tight and hugging him with all her strength. That male, that grumpy and aloof creature right in front of her, was the reason she held up to her bright colors: for all her life she had always been living in that nasty shop with her kind, everyday; even if Poppy was in a small cage, she felt happy enough to have faith and to eventually plan their escape, and she had someone to talk or have fun with. But when the Bergens took her away from her father, her subjects, her friends, her class... the Princess' whole world just fell apart in a single blink, nothing mattered anymore, she was done. For a single instant, she almost gave up and decided to stop fighting once and for all. What was the point, by the way? She was alone in a cold and isolated room. All by herself. Who would have listened to her songs, her happy shouts or cries? “You helped me, Branch! You helped me getting my hope and my happiness back!”.

But when Poppy almost felt the greyness curling up around her shaky limbs as a venomous snake would with a defenseless mouse, Branch's beautiful voice echoed in the room and gave her hope back, along with her happiness and determination to escape from that captivity. She was surprised to see that the guy in front of her, which seemed to be the saddest and angriest Troll ever, was capable to share and spread positivity, even if not on purpose.

Branch immediately shook the pink Troll off, discreetly pushing her away from his chubby form, not really wanting that kind of touch from another one, not even from the Princess. “Get off, Princess. I didn't help you at all. Someone who has no happiness or hope in his heart can't help someone else finding them.” the grey male grumpily explained, crossing his strong arms and looking around with the corners of his light blue eyes: finally the Trollstice came, and now families, friends and lovers were reunited for one single day. Parents were hugging their beloved kids, who were very small... after all, Branch himself was bought (all alone) when he was just six years old, after his grandma's death and after becoming grey and paranoid: yup, his price literally dropped because of that detail, just 50 fucking golden coins. Who would want a sad and aggressiveTroll, after all?

Kids just had to grow up faster tha normal, and take care of themselves completely. No alternative, no other choice.

But the Trollstice meant something else too, something really bad but inevitable; visitors: all the Bergens in town would watch them from outside the big cage and choose the smaller ones, buying them for their own children or for themselves, just to find happiness from their singing. The truth was hard to accept but Branch, who wasn't a deluded, did: the Trolls had no truce, no a truly calm moment in their miserable pet-life. The grey male hated that, he hated that so much, more than the electric collar he had around his abused and bruised neck.

In that exact moment, a huge and pimply hand opened the cage and went straight for one of the baby Trolls, still in her parents' protective arms, grabbing the little girl for the short hair and trying to separate her from her mum and dad. The baby screamed desperatedly and tried to break free, reaching for her broken mother and father with her tiny arms. Her loud cries caught the attention of everyone, who just watched the scene with sad and sorry eyes. But not Branch, he literally snapped. Those ugly and stupid monsters had no right to tear families apart even during that thay, it was so unfair and selfish!

“We aren't pets. We aren't pets. WE AREN'T PETS!” the grey Troll repeated and screamed with rage, running towards the intruder and showing his sharp teeth, jumping up and sinking his fangs into the flesh of the Bergen soldier, shaking his head fiercely, trying to hurt that disgusting beast as much as he could and tasting the gross blood in his mouth.

The ogre-like creature let out a painful yelp and immediately dropped the poor and scared kid, that landed safely into her mother's hair, and violently threw Branch against the metallic bars of the birdcage. Then, after grabbing a strange remote control from a nearby table, he pressed a black button with a green finger. “This was the last time, filthy grey Troll!” the guard screamed, enraged and vengeful, shocking the black haired guy and raising the voltage consistently.

The shock was immediate and ruthless, but for the first time in his life Branch let out a piercing scream, collapsing on the hard ground once again while the electric waves were still torturing and burning his tense limbs. They wanted to kill him this time? Had he gone too far that time? He tried to pull the collar with both hands, but in vain: it was safely tied around his neck, it couldn't be removed.

Ten seconds, fifteen seconds, twenty seconds, and the pain still wouldn't stop and leave him alone; on the contrary, it increased exponentially. The grey Troll's owners punished him pretty often, it was true, he was a rebel after all and needed to be tamed. But the punishments lasted three or two seconds maximum, he couldn't even breathe right now!

“Stop! You are killing him!” Poppy angrily shouted, breaking the thick silence, her pink eyes incredulous and her form almost paralized. How... how could they do something like that!? Of course, she knew the Bergens were heartless monsters who used them as mere pets... but murdering another creature like that? No, she couldn't let them, not under her watch, not under the Princess' watch! “Dad, we must do something to help Branch! He is gonna die if we just stand here!”.

Before Peppy could even speak or think about a reasonable solution, another female and pretty creepy voice yelled a furious order to the insubordinate guard: “You, soldier! Stop what you are doing to that male Troll right now, in the name of King Gristle Jr.! That sample is our sovereign's personal property and part of a new breeding program, drop the remote control immediately, it's the royal vet who commands you!”.

Something happened, and the excruciating pain vanished. Branch gasped for air, coughing out and trembling a little, pretty terrified about what just happened, his heart racing as a galopping horse and almost jumping out his aching chest. He felt a rather gentle hand picking him up from the ground and checking him, and the survivalist used his own black hair to protect himself and curl in a little ball, also trying to see who was holding him with such a cold and professional touch. It was Chef, his old nemesis.

“Mh, everything seems quite fine. Time for you to change the diet, little Troll.” Chef declared after a few minutes of observation, touching Branch's belly and evaluating his tough body structure. The survivalist just let her do her job, too traumatized to react or trying to bite. “More meat and fruit for the male, he needs proteins and vitamines. No sweets, he's fat enough already. And for the female...” the vet said, pointing at Poppy and looking at her with severe eyes. “More fruit and cereals, she needs a lot of carbohydrates. And a few sweets and chocolate won't hurt, she needs energy to form pods. Take her right now, we'll put them both in the same cage for the next weeks, and we'll see if they'll make pods.”.

“Making pods with...!? Dad, what does that mean? What are we supposed to do? What happens if we don't make pods?” the pink Troll asked, very agitated at the moment, tensing up slightly when another hand grabbed her and lifted her from the cage. That was new for the Princess, she heard about it of course, but didn't know what to do. “Dad! Guys! What's gonna happen to us?”.

“Poppy! It's gonna be ok, sweetie! Don't do anything you don't want to do, we'll see each other soon!” Peppy tried to say and comfort, running with difficulty towards his poor daughter, before the prison was abruptly shut once again in front of his old and worried eyes.

Poppy found herself in a bigger cage full of good food, fresh water and even some dumb toys to play with (a little shiny ball, a rope and a sqeaky toy, nothing interesting really), the sweaty hand squeezing her finally letting go and putting her down. Next to her, hidden in the nearby corner, there was Branch, who looked at her with an enigmatic and scared expression.

“We'll escape from here. They can't control us forever.” their eyes seemed to shout as they looked at each othere. “We are going to be free. Two minds work better than one.”.

[selfstyledgods]

Vengeful Spirit

They say it’s the ones who hurt the most who wear the warmest smiles. In my case, you’ve heard me say time and again how much I supposedly ‘hate’ people. That is true, very true... but I may not have been entirely truthful behind my reasons why. The hatred I feel is one mutually shared by most sensible folk, whom I actually like and am attracted to.

See, I immediately connect with other people who say they hate other people, because not only are those people being honest, they are a lot nicer than even themselves may realize. For I hate because I love. It’s a strange, twisted logic, befitting a person with an extreme case of bipolarism like myself.

Yeah... if whoever is reading this hadn’t figured it out yet, I have split personalities--to an extreme degree. Incredibly high highs, and depressingly deep lows. But, back to the topic of the ones who ‘hate’.

What I hate specifically (and I know this sounds corny as hell), are ‘bad’ people.

People who make life a living hell for other people just trying to live out their short lives. People who would lie, cheat, and abuse others to get things to go their way. People who actively carry out disgusting crimes against other people and other living things. And of course, the people who blindly hate other people because they think they are mentally or physically superior. The list goes on.

THOSE ‘bad’ people are the ones I truly hate... the ones I wouldn’t mind pressing a button to erase from this existence... every last one of them. If I could gather them all up in one country and had the option to fire a nuke capable of wiping them all out, I’d do it in a fucking heartbeat. That’s a very monstros and dangerous way of thinking, but it’s who I am.

See? It’s the total opposite of my other self I’ve spoken of--the one who feeds on hatred and anger. I suppose you could say I own a vengeful spirit, but my morals are in the right place, I feel.

But, enough on that, let’s further discuss my bipolarism...

Sometimes, I wonder if there’s any point of showing/faking emotion? In my own experience, each time I try to find someone ‘new’, they always let me down, and I realize I just spent my precious time--time I’ll never get back--interacting with a piece of dead flesh. Yeah... that’s how I see people who waste my time, just trash. The type of garbage you’d toss in a pile and burn without a second thought. What can I say? I’m more complex in ways I don’t want to understand.

I’d say love is my most hated emotion (big surprise). I hate it because I feel like it takes over my entire reason for living, that fleeting feeling of euphoria, of liking someone else more than life itself. Yeah, I’ve been there... and I’ve also been shot down like the best of ‘em. In that person’s case, I don’t blame her; she never got to see the more cheerful side of me. Another victim of my bipolarism.

There are times when I lashed out when I didn’t mean to, or times when I ignored them when that was the furthest thing from my mind. Thinking of such things enrages me to no end--though I’m angry at myself, not that person. That said, I am also mentally strong enough to move on. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be the man I am today.

Moving on...

I have a rule on making friends in the flesh. They need to think for themselves, first and foremost. I’m not looking for idolizers or trend followers as my allies, I’m looking for badass people strong enough to say ‘fuck you’ to life and lead their own nightmarish charge through the deepest pits of hell. Ok, that sounded a bit over dramatic, but you know damn well what I mean.

To me, even if those brave people don’t amount to much in life, just the fact that they TRIED to take hold of their lives when others would not, makes them a total badass in my book. Victory in defeat is not defeat, that is victory. Even if you lose a fight, so long as you are willing to get your ass back up and fight again, then you haven’t lost. You can lose a thousand fights, but so long as you climb back up each time to take the next challenge with every intent to WIN, you have not lost. Not even death itself can beat you if you don’t allow it to win.

Look at it this way...

An ant picked up by you, and held between your fingertips knows it’s about to be crushed to death, so what does it do? It bites you. Even though you crush it afterwards, that small bite was its own little victory--that it caused you pain, no matter how small, right before its end. That’s what I meant when I said not even death can beat you, so long as you set your own terms on what it means to lose.

And yet, despite all that, life... hope... these are what it means to truly win.

Saying such things reminds me of a passage I wrote in one of my books, “The World’s Strongest Gambler”.

“No hope, no life, sacrifice is the key to living.”

Sacrifice... it is the price we pay each day we are alive--each day we have hope. We are sacrificing our bodies and our emotions each time we interact with this world and its people. I’ve made my own share of sacrifices to get where I am today, which ironically, is effectively god damn nowhere.

Friends were forcefully exiled from my life, potential lovers were cast aside, an incredible stream of stable working income was passed on for a dream/chasing goal, a chance to obtain top secret government clearance and information was left behind (seriously)... all in my selfish pursuit of power.

And you know what? I wouldn’t trade any of it for what I have now. 

For that same selfish power is the source of my invincibility--the driving force that allows me to take bold chances no one in their right minds would take, and the very same grit that allows me to stand back up--ready to fight--after being beaten down again and again and again. So long as I continue to fight... I WILL NEVER lose. I may have a Vengeful Spirit, but it is one I am damn proud of, and one I’d never trade for anything you could ever hope or dream to offer me.

I see this world, and my body as a living coffin because I feel trapped here (on the negative side of my bipolarism). Many times, I feel like I’m supposed to be somewhere else--destined to already be on a path of true freedom, but it’s still out of my grasp. Can such a thing be achieved in my lifetime, or would I truly need to rid myself of this body in order to enter the next stage?

Think what you will about me, but know that I hate... because I love.