#I need to be done with this illness
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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happy birthday ISAT !!
extras:
PIOU PIOU
#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#isat siffrin#isat fanart#stop motion#needle felt#aysrin cant art#i haven't done stopmotion or 2d in ages this was fun#omg you can upload 30 images now what a glow up from like ten 5 years ago#i miss uploading to tumblr#but ill maybe put long form stuff here now! i need somewhere to put my process writeups lol bsky and twt dont seem very good for that#animation#soft sculpture#i forgor to add the speeen gif#sorry for the crunchy though size limit was 10mb lol#oh also i usually trim any flyaway fibers for a more neat finish#but i left it messy cause it's what siffrin would do ! ehe
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Elliott!! :3
#the colors r pissing me off so im just gonna post it otherwise ill keep fiddling with the overlay layers#and i mSICK im SICK of it i dont know what i need to do to fix the colors so im calling it DONE#anways#elliott again :3c#art#elliott#stardew valley elliott#sdv elliott#stardew elliott#elliott stardew valley#stardew valley#sdv#sdv fanart#fanart#artists on tumblr#illustration#also his face is still pissing me off but alas#idk my painting skills aren't where i want them to be but oh whale#stardew
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7/3: pov u r nanami kento pleased that i managed to pull smth together in time for your bday
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#nanami kento#nanami#fanart#jjk fanart#i ws like I Need To Get This Done Today I Should Not Fully Render It#and then i said bet and did anyway#with 2 hours to spare !!!!!!#thats what we in this house call Winning#hbd nanami please forgive me fr spending most of it drawing gojo.......im so sorry i didnt know ill be better ill do better...#tiny smiling nanami u mean so much to me....#i did smth a little bit different with the shape of his nose also and let me just say i am Down On One Knee#hate to simp over a blond man but
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what is this guy's issue 😭
#FINAL REQ FROM TWT DONE HOORAY#this one was for jealous zoro😭 he's so ridiculous#i was originally gonna draw jealous zoro from this one fic but ill draw that later and make a seperate post for it since i need EVERYONE#to read it it mad e me insane#mintart#op#one piece#art#zolu#luzo#monkey d luffy#roronoa zoro#romance dawn trio#nami#cat burglar nami#zoro#luffy#sanji#zou#lusan#vinsmoke sanji#black leg sanji#my art#does this count as lusan i kinda intended for it to be but idk#tagging it for myself anyways cuz theyre silly
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from my new oneshot, 'the vexing village of vellmore' ✨ ao3 / wattpad ((it's about seb & clora visiting a cursed village and trying to figure out how to break the curse, and since it ended up being 50k words i decided to split it into 2 chapters and the next part will be out soon!🙏 also, while it does have spoilers for the raven and the snake, it's a standalone story and can be read blind💖))
#u know i had to do the alliteration title#heads up but theres a smut scene almost immediately 😇LMAOOO#im actually so happy with this oneshot as a whole tho its sooo self indulgent BAHAHA so i hope yall like it too🙏🙏#part 2 is already done and ill post it when i finish more art for it✍️✍️✍️✍️#i defs wanna write more lil stories like this with them....older and working together.....its so fun.....i just need more ideas😩#HINT HINT 😇😇😇😇#this has all ive been working on the past like week straight SORRY IF I HAVENT GOTTEN AROUND TO ASKS#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#clora clemons#choccyart#sebastian sallow fanfiction#sebastian x mc
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charlie
#just a simple redesign#wanted to give charlie a little seasoning. she needs a little smth smth. thought a goat motif would suit her .... because. hell and whateve#shes got cute hooves and big ears#tried to make as minimal changes as possible to stick to her original vibe#this concludes my hazbin posting. thanks for tolerating it#ill have a helluva boss review post in the next couple days when i finish watching it. after that im done#back to your regularly scheduled pony programming#charlie morningstar#hazbin hotel#fanart#my art
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so be a good person
#kokoart#thinking about this scene again :(#this was a doodle turned. not doodle#technically this isnt reaalllyy done bc i want to add a bg but im kind of sick at looking at it for now so ill post it on here for now :)#this is NOT meant to be a ship btw if i need to disclose that#dazai#bsd#bungou stray dogs fanart#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#fanart#bsd fanart#bsd art#oda sakunosuke#bsd odasaku#odasaku#dazai osamu#bsd dazai
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getting back into the untamed and i had a thought. / follow for more yllz babygirlism
#i saw someone a while ago talking about how wwx always has good intentions….#his personal road to hell was paved with good intentions yes but i’m not sure where making a guy eat his own legs fits#it is so funny to me how the tiger tally/yin iron influences wei wuxian differently in each adaptation#i remember making a sliding scale of how ‘culpable’ wwx is from adaptation to adaptation#based on how they portray the mental effects of the iron#but for the life of me i cannot find it :(#wwx really said ‘if i had a cursed amulet i simply wouldnt be corrupted🙄🙄’#that’s basically what he tells lan zhan in this episode…. if necromancy was having ill effects i would notice#and you know. at this point he is lying about everything. but i do wonder how much he actually believes that 👁️👁️#how much of his mind is resigned to doing whatever needs to be done to exact revenge regardless of harm to himself#and how much genuinely believes that he’s smart and competent enough to make it through whole#the answer of course is BOTH!! bisexual pride#mdzs#art#mdzs spoilers#wei wuxian#lan wangji#wangxian#mo dao zu shi#grandmaster of demonic arts#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#my art#the grandmaster of diabolism#cql#the untamed#魔道祖师#陈情令#mdzs meme#doodle#lmao
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OH MY GOD??? HAS IT SERIOUSLY BEEN A MONTH????? I am so sorry guys
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#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop nature au#fop dev#fop dale#dev dimmadome#dale dimmadome#art#digital art#fanart#comic#GODD I DIDNT MEAN TO TAKE THAT LONG OF A BREAK#the next pages are done but since I posted the first 2 as a batch I decided to keep it consistent#the next two pages are already done though I promise!!!! You will not have another wait like that#wugh what was I even going to say about these pages I need to keep a commentary of my thoughts while I write these#Ill be honest the script for these pages went in a way different direction than I was planning LOL but I like it#As awful of a dad as Dale is I do think he has legitimate issues around the idea of someone taking Dev from him/dev being kidnapped#because of what Vicky did to him the idea of Dev being kidnapped makes him feel legitimately nauseous#unfortunately that doesnt always stop him from being a reckless awful parent#but it is part of the reason he would never hire a human caretaker for Dev. somethin.. something. bad experience with a babysitter...#another thing about Dale is that generally he is very... blunt with Dev. For better and for worse.#He WILL give Dev compliments if he thinks what he did was praise worthy. And he'll just as easily say something awful. if he thinks it true#more on that in upcoming pages...
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Everything isn’t black and white. You know, life it’s-it’s weird. People meet at work. People meet at work.
#doctor odyssey#joshua jackson#sean teale#max bankman#tristan silva#i wish this wasnt directly after 911#i can never watch it live lol#but i need tumblr to get on this show#so many hot people everywhere! lol#listen ill carry this show through on my own if i have to#ive done it before lol
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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.
It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage...#...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them...#...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent...#...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us...#...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long...#...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL#the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate#be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough#recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage'#i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself#and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was#i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want#don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please#and just... give yourself space
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theres not enough mono with teefs so have this. also theyre BOTH biters, c'mon guys!!
#little nightmares#little nightmares 2#little nightmares fanart#ln mono#ln six#mono little nightmares#mono ln#six ln#for context in the stick comic- yes mono just shoved it in his bag. thats what six sees.#i have done too much traditional art becus i need so much time off computers since its my work <3#so trying to like get the hang of doodling digital again without being on mspaint#i mean but just you watch. ill start designing the mono and solangelo charm i wanna make and ill be fine#doodling for fun? not allowed#ANYWAYS THEY BOTH BITE#low and alone are so funny becus theyre very gentle with eachother and then theres six and mono who cant stand 5 seconds without biting#affectionately ofc#theyd die for eachother but they also canonically have tried to kill eachother
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Mask off, veil on ♡
#loveybug au#loveywalker#cat walker#loveybug#ml fanart#miraculous ladybug#adrien agreste#marinette dupain cheng#mlb fan art#wait is it#catwalker#?#digital art#artists on tumblr#I wanted to do so many other things with this painting but i need to post or ill never be done w it LOL
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i'm sending this endless melody to a nameless you
#SKELETON ORCHESTRA AND LILIA I NEED YOU#project sekai#emunene#emu otori#nene kusanagi#pjsk#prsk#proseka#wxs cover wishlist copium.. 2!!#i have lots more of them i wanna draw but ill do st least one duet for each pair i think. maybe nnks next ive had one for them forever#Gyaaaa#Crying i have szks lunar new years art that idk how to render im missing the holiday. lord in heaven#Ik every leaker or whatever says this is going to mmj snd it probably will and i'll love the cover but still. emunene save me#wxs gets songs with nonsense lyrics its possible right Right right#i also wanted setsuna trip to go to emu in any duet but i looove the mnai cover so i won anways#Kind of too sleepy to do my usual. Sorry viewers who like reading theough my insane tags. Dont get covid it makes you sleep 13 hours a day#For the next month.#my friends saw me going nuts over this drawing actually and i gave up hard on nenes dress i just wanted to be done.. love how emus looks..#wait i actually can be insane in the tags THE WXS WORLDLINK SONG SJHDDYDJKYMY TGYAYDHUA!!! HAGSGYAAH!!!!! GY6;$;$;$;$;$ WHEHEHEHEHEH#WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH. Its so good please help. Wxs tetrad that illuminates the world save me.#why does the 2dmv have all of them under a WEDDING AROOOR WHY IS THERE A WEDDING BELL. CONGRATS ON POLYSHO MARRIAGE. HWATEVVRR!!!!!#wonderlands x showtime killing me taking damage augh Auughg akk akcghj
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Low Poly Megavolt!!!
Complete with enrichment in his enclosure!!!!
I've been spending these past few months learning blender and I finally made something worth showing! My first fully complete model! :] Please be nice to him!!
#darkwing duck#dwd#my art#theres still some things i want to fix cus he looks a bit wonky but i need to take a break from looking at him lolll#specifically his face textures cus i made them real quick cus i just wanted to get some renders done and posted#i plan on doing other darkwing characters soon i think quackerjack is gonna be next >:)#ill post him on ig eventually too once i get some better renders
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