#I need a nap I’m rambling in my own tags I need 14 hours of sleep

[kissmefriendly]

Venn diagram with Richard Sharpe and Sam Vimes in the middle

[tinyboxxtink]

"Clueless" *Part 13*

Okay so this is 10 pages in my google doc right, and I swear I don't-- I don't know if I have more than one more chapter left in me from here guys! I might divide this one--- Okay. Here's what we're gonna do. This is gonna be slightly short, but then I'm IMMEDIATELY putting up another chapter, also slightly short. But it all leads to the finale, that will have to go up tomorrow. Cool? Cool.

Also- Warning SOME smutty smut? Awkward smut. LuLz.

(let's pretend/assume the girl in the gif is the reader yeah?)

Tag List

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@wanniiieeee

@milkshqke

@gibbs274

@lolliepopsicle

@aprildecker-blog

@word-scribbless

@objection-argumentative

@stars-in-the-skies-world

Part 12

Part 14

-------

You both quickly undressed each other, kissing each other all over one another’s bodies. You hadn’t had a lot of sex, and you were guessing Josh hadn’t either guessing on his response to your question about this. But you suppose you were both going to do your best.

“I um, am I hurting you?” Josh asked while he nibbled down the sides of your neck.

“What? No I’m fine babe, keep going,” You muttered, trying to stay in it.

“Look at this sloppy cabron,” You saw an image of Rafael standing in the middle of your bedroom. “He has no clue what he’s doing. You know you’d much rather have me nibbling on you, carino,”

“Shut up,” you growled.

“What?” Josh looked at you confused.

“What? Nothing baby, I’m sorry,”

Josh shrugged and continued, taking one finger and jamming it in your opening.

“Ow!!!” You screamed. It was so jarring and clinical, like a tampon being shoved up there too fast.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry babe, I thought-- I thought girls liked that,” It was dark but you could hear the blush in his voice.

“Baby you…” You half smiled, taking his hand and guiding it slowly around your opening. “You have to go slow, soft,”

“Oh. Right, yeah no of course,” He nervously chuckled, mimicking your movements. He continued to slowly circle your opening, slowly inching inside you. You closed your eyes and moaned softly, enjoying the sensation.

“Look at those stubs,” You heard Rafael’s voice again. “My long loving fingers wouldn’t be so rough with you,”

“Go away,” You muttered, trying to focus on Josh’s fingers inside you.

“What?” Josh stopped mid-circle inside you.

“I-I said, Go...faster,” You lied.

“Oh, Ok….can I, can I go inside you?” Josh asked softly.

“Yes, baby you don’t have to ask,” You were sort of getting annoyed now; You hadn’t had sex with tons of people, but you knew how to be sexier than this.

“See he’s a child! Asking, pleading, fumbling in the dark. You need a man who knows how to take care of you, amante,” Rafael’s voice sounded like it was right in your ear.

“Josh, let’s just agree right now to everything. Anything you wanna do to me, do it. If I don’t like it, trust me I’ll let you know, okay?”

“Okay!” He seemed more excited, now plunging into you deeply and pumping fast. Now this was more like it.

“Oh yes, yes right there…” You moaned, which encouraged him more.

“Yeah baby, you like that?” Josh asked in a sultry voice.

“Mmmm yes,” You moaned, glancing at the foot of your bed. Rafael’s image was standing there, smirking. You couldn’t help it, you tried to fight it. You shut your eyes tight and focused on the pleasure. It was getting more and more intense.

“Yes, oh baby deeper,” You moaned. Josh obliged, plunging harder and faster inside you.

“Yes….oh god Rafa right there….”

Your eyes shot open, a hand went over your mouth. Luckily, Josh was so into his own pleasure and you had whispered low enough that he had no idea what had just happened. But you did. You laid there, knowing full well now that you wished this was Rafael. You shut your eyes and just let yourself imagine it was him, you couldn’t fight it anymore.

Soon you were moaning and screaming, mentally concentrating on not saying ANY words, just moans trying to convince Josh you were enjoying him inside you. You were still getting there when you felt Josh’s legs vibrating.

“Baby…” He moaned. “I’m gonna… should I…?”

“Yes please don’t get me pregnant,” You said, more rude than you intended. He was so lost in his orgasm he didn’t notice, but immediately pulled out and ejaculated all over your sheets.

“Wow, that was amazing…” He fell back against you, sighing in relief. You however, were still waiting on your own orgasm.

“I um, I have to-- wash off,” You lied, climbing out of the bed. He nodded, still out of breath. You went inside the bathroom and locked the door. You sat against the door and spread your legs, inserting your own fingers and pumping them in and out of you.

“Yes, baby. That’s it…” Now you heard Rafael’s voice again. “I’m right here, I’m inside you…”

You moved your fingers faster, imaging Rafael’s lips all over you. “You smell so good carino, god I love it when you’re wet for me,” You bit your lip in pleasure, now bucking against your own fingers. “I love you so much, Y/N,” You could hear him purr. “Now, go for me…”

You felt the waves of an orgasm crash against you, your fingers now slowing their pace, you slumped against the door in relief. The pleasure was immense from just imagining Rafael being there, you couldn’t imagine what it would be like to actually have him. But.. you would never know.

The pleasure from your “session” was suddenly overridden by a surge of grief. Grief of what had just transpired not even an hour ago. You finally had him, you had him in your mouth. His hands all over you, it was like you could still feel them. That’s why it was so easy to replicate the feeling while pleasuring yourself. You knew what they felt like now. But...that’s all it was. You knew that was the most you’d ever get from him, a kiss goodbye. You were not about to just forget your principles and your feelings about being hidden away like a dirty secret. No matter how pleasurable his lips were.

Why couldn’t he just... man up? Why was he so afraid? Were you that awful? Was he that ashamed of you? Why didn’t he love you enough?

He had said the words, he said them out loud! You repeated them over and over, but the more you did the more you remembered the tone. As if he was saying:

“You’re lucky I’m saying this at all, how can you be walking away from ME? The great Rafael Barba.”

Josh would never talk to you like that, he was so soft and so kind. So wonderful. Why couldn’t...Why couldn’t Rafael be that…?

All of a sudden, you realized you were crying. You were crying softly, but quickly grew louder the more you thought about Rafael. He would be so smug if he knew that he got in your head, just like he said he had. He would be giddy with victory knowing that he was on your mind the entire time. You grabbed a towel off your towel rack and sobbed into it, trying to tell yourself to calm down. Trying to remind yourself that there was a beautiful, amazing man right in the next room. Not a snarky asshole. Josh made you feel safe and loved, not like some dark curse. You composed yourself and went back into the room, where unfortunately for you Josh had turned on the lights.

“Oh my god...baby are you okay?” He jumped out of the bed and ran over to you, immediately taking you in his arms and cuddling you. See, how could you want Rafael over this?

“Yeah, I’m just-- I’m tired,” You lied, nodding your head. “Can we just...take a nap?”

“Of course, whatever you want,” He took you back to bed and spooned you, stroking your hair.

“You were wonderful, Y/N. I’ve never had it so good,” He whispered. You felt half confused, half guilty. You hadn’t really done anything, except imagine another guy.

….I’m glad, Josh,” You smiled, snuggling into him, hoping he would just fall asleep and not push it any further. He did.

-----

Later, you and Josh walked into the living room to get something to eat. You were greeted with Ariel sitting on the couch flipping through channels.

“OOOOOOoooohhh!!!!” She teased. “And what were YOU two doing?”

“....Studying,” Josh smirked.

“Uh huh, studying each other’s bodies,” Ariel smirked back.

“Ariel!” You walked over and smacked her playfully.

“Y/N we’re all adults here, if you can’t discuss sex freely you’re going to have a very hard time in adulthood,”

“Hey Ariel, give her a break,” Josh came up behind you and kissed your head. “I totally get it,”

“Awww, it’s like watching two care bears copulate,” Ariel said mockingly.

“Ha Ha,” You rolled your eyes as you walked to the kitchen.

---

--Meanwhile in the living room---

“So you two had fun?” Ariel wiggled her eyebrows.

“...Yeah,” Josh nodded slightly.

“What’s that look?”

“I don’t know, she said some weird stuff,” He shrugged.

“Like what?” She asked quizzically.

“I...I don’t know, lots of mumbles,”

“Maybe you were so good she started talking in tongues,” She laughed.

“Oh yeah, totally that’s it,”

“Hey do you wanna continue our conversation tomorrow? I really want to try this bistro that Y/N won’t go with me to,” Ariel asked, glancing at the kitchen where you were.

“Why?”

“I don’t know, something about how they cook their food. Animal cruelty, or MSG or some crap like that, I tune out when she rambles,” She rolled her eyes.

“You’re so mean!” He lightly poked her. “Yeah, sounds good,” He paused, looking in the kitchen. “....Do you think it’s weird, us hanging out without her?”

“What? No, it’s totally innocent,” She waved her hands dismissively.

“....Then why haven't we told her?” Josh asked her seriously. They both looked at each other for a long moment.

“Hey Ariel what happened to the pizza that was in here?” You suddenly came walking into the living room, interrupting their conversation.

“Oh I...I think I ate it while I was high the other day,” She blushed.

“ARIEL,” You looked at her horrified. “You can’t smoke weed in your mom’s house!!”

“Relax, Debbie Do Good, I smoke on the deck,” She rolled her eyes.

“Oh good so the neighbor’s can call the cops,” You crossed your arms.

“Josh maybe you should take her back in there and ‘chill her out’ some more,” She made crude actions with her hands.

“Actually I should be getting back, you know to ACTUALLY study,” He started to get up and walk out. “Although I don’t know how much it will help, not like Barba is ever going to give me that internship,”

“Do you want me to go rough him up for you Joshie?” Ariel laughed in a patronizing tone.

“No, thank you Ari,” He teased back. “I’ll call you later baby,” He kissed your cheek and walked out the door.