#I need a fucking break
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pls pray 5 me I am getting my wisdom teeth consulted on tomorrow hopefully
I am fucking desperate to get these stupid things out, I'm in so much fucking pain, I just need this to be DONE
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Where are you guys on OCs? I love writing reader insert but I鈥檓 wondering if a little change might get me back into things. Do they help you? Is there anything that helps bring back inspiration for you?
I feel so lost without my creative energy. I just want to play with my dolls 馃檭
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aftershocks of the phone debacle continue to fuck up my life but we persist despite the horrors.
#waughhhhh#i need a fucking break#at least things are better from here right???? RIGHT???#in any case I am determined to get back into the swing of things and at least I still have my meds#but like if anyone is wondering why I'm hardly active rn this is why#on the plus side i LITERALLY can't do anything about it until tomorrow so I am trying to put this new mess out of my brain#and just bank up some spoons
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so it鈥檚 not enough for me to struggle mentally i鈥檓 also feeling the worst i鈥檝e ever felt physically :)))
#this is my villain origin story#been to the ER twice the past two weeks that鈥檚 how bad it is :)#i鈥榤 going to fucking kill myself it鈥檚 not even getting better#first i had a 40C/104F fever for D A Y S#then i got an antibiotic and at least the fever went down#BUT :)))#i got a cough and it was that bad that i started coughing up blood#at some point i just started throwing up cause again.. the cough was so intense#and if you think that鈥檚 all#no no no :)#right now i have a horrible allergic reaction to the antibiotic i mentioned that i haven鈥檛 even been taking since a week#i鈥檝e got a HIGH dose of cortisone which i鈥檓 done with too now and it pretty much did nothing#like i guess it saved me from dying (yippie yay thanks now i just have to suffer more) but the rash isn鈥檛 just still there its worse#i can鈥檛 handle this shit#literally going insane#i need a fucking break#if one (1) more thing is thrown at me i鈥榣l just start sobbing#personal
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for some unknown reason i have this weird urge to smoke but i don't even like smoking, ugh
#drinking is still fine by me#but smoking burns in the chest and i dont like it#i need a fucking break#and a distraction#meanslackofart#spilled thoughts#rant#desiblr#desi tag#desi tumblr#desi#ugh#random
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he is the love of my life
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FINALLY FREE馃槶
lazy weekend here I come
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Oh I love when I'm so stressed with life that my eyes decide to throw a party on my eyelids 馃グ I swear if my eye tics one more time I'm ending things.
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Choosing if I have a mental breakdown or become emotionally unavailable
#shit keeps going wrong and my brain is catastrophizing <3#i need a fucking break#seari talks#vent post
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Yall ever get so tired of life all you want to do is sleep but then at the same time you don't want to go to bed because that means you're going to have to wake up at some point? Or worse. Wake up in the morning.
#I'm really fucking tired#i need a fucking break#more or less a break from life#can someone take on my role of living for a few weeks?#Can I just sleep? please?#Gods somebody hit me over the head so I can sleep#tired#feeling useless#depressing shit#depressed???
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Still in the midst of a fatigue period and now im getting that fatigue depression :/
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haha ignore this i need to vent
i'm so fucking done i'm so fucking mad at everyone i'm pissed at my cousin for fucking me over i'm pissed at my clients for being fucking idiots i'm pissed at my city for NEVER HAVING WORKING FUCKING TRANSIT i'm not okay i'm so not fucking okay and i don't even have my fucking headphones bc they fell out of my jacket in my cousins STUPID FUCKING CAR THAT I BASICALLY PAY FOR BUT GOD FORBID SHE DRIVE ME HOME so now i get to spend over 2 hours (after i've spent 3 hours on transit/waiting for her this morning) on public transit to get home WITHOUT my music and my clothes are ruined with cat hair from my clients today so that's fucking great and OF COURSE everything in the fucking city is delayed bc WHY WOULD WE MAKE ANYTHING EASY FOR ME NO ITS FINE ILL JUST FUCKING SUFFER TO MAKE THINGA EASY FOR EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE GODFORBID I GET TO CATCH A FUCKING BREAK
#no i'm not okay#i'm fuckimg crying on a train#that's on the LITERAL OPPOSITE END OF THE CITY FROM MY HOUSE#i spent just under 3 hours working today#and i'm spending over 5 hours getting to and from work#i'm so fucking done i'm so sick of being alive#holy fucking christ can ANYTHING not be fucking shit!!!!!!!#i hate being alive!!!!!!! i don't want to do this anymore!!!!!!!#and i can't even fucking kill myself bc god forbid the people in my life be sad#they can't lose me but they can fuck me over constantly!!!!!#god fuck i'm so fucking sick of this#i need a fucking break#humans aren't meant to work this much and im going to start actually commiting violence about it#tw suicide mention#personal rambles#ignore this#i'm just being too sensitive 馃檭馃檭馃檭馃檭#i'm just Letting My Emotions Control Me 馃檭馃檭馃檭馃檭馃檭馃檭馃檭#disclaimer i'm safe i'm not actually at risk of hurting myself at all i promise#i just wanna die but i'm not gonna do anything
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Last week (including and between both Fridays) has been such a dumpster fire it鈥檚 almost comical
#my anxiety is bad enough that I want to throw up and poop#I genuinely want to go back to school and see everyone and continue learning#had to go to the er last Friday and then texted my ex while there#Saturday and Sunday where chill#so was Monday#Tuesday was a disaster bc of my flat tire and broken lock at work#and I had to get bloodwork again yesterday due to my trip to the we#i need a fucking break#also had an auntie pass
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#sigh. when will fandom stop suicide baiting others over fictional characters#i'm going on a blocking spree and it's frustrating and disappointing to see mutuals on that list#i need a fucking break#vent post#maz rambles
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