#I need a better term for this
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
You’ve got to forgive yourself for being traumatized and needing to learn how to function again.
Recovery isn’t always nightmares and depression, it’s forgetting to eat, being scared of what others might see as completely normal things, it’s getting random panic attacks, not knowing how to take care of yourself, not knowing how to live like an adult, even if you’re twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, of feeling like you’re failing to function in a world where everyone seems to have their shit together.
If you need help, ask for it. Go to forums and ask for advice. Take advantage of community resources. Buy pre-sliced veggies and fruits, eat instant meals if you can’t cook for yourself today. Hire someone. Ask a neighbor for a favor. Buy any item you think might make life easier, even if you feel like you aren’t ‘disabled’ enough to have it.
Some of the depression posts (ie open your windows, take a shower, go outside, call a friend) are really helpful but they’re not always enough. I’ve found advice for spoonies, people with chronic pain or other disabilities have the best tips because they know what it’s like to be bedridden, out of energy, stuck in a brain fog.
You may never return back to the energy you had when you were younger and you might always need to use crutches to help you through life. It’s the same with medication.
Trauma is a real thing that happens to you, it physically alters your brain and it’s alright to have lasting scars.
You’re not broken, your life is not over and you can still be happy.
It’s not your fault.
#felix speaks#trauma#recovery#deconversion#ex cult#ex religious#ptsd#cptsd#healing#disabled#actually traumatized#spoonies#things i need to remind myself with too#it sucks to have to come to terms with the fact#but youll be so much better off once you stop denying yourself the help you need#also re: buying items meant for the disabled#do it!#you are not taking resources away#if you need it you need it#and the more in demand these items are the better theyll be made in the future
12K notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
610 notes
·
View notes
Text
I love Raph and haven’t said that enough so to be more specific I love that Raph is a soft boy who loves bear plushies, a gross boy who eats an assortment of things that are definitely better left alone, a smart boy who is more than capable of taking down villains through planning and fortitude alike, a strong boy who is dedicated to training his muscles and fighting prowess, a teenage boy who loves his brothers but is more than happy to tease and roughhouse with them, an angry boy who sometimes lets his anger take a hold of him to cover the fear, a gentle boy who is generous with hugs and affirmations to those he loves, a capable boy who takes on more than should ever be expected of a teenager, a good boy who just wants to be a hero and slowly comes to realize the cost of that duty, a good boy who has no reservations about putting himself in the way of harm coming to his family, a good boy who’s a great brother and son and person and deserves only the best the world has to offer.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rise raph#he’s so wonderful frfr#my poor boy is traumatized but still so proud of what they accomplished because they’re HEROES#what started as something fun - Saturday morning cartoon-like heroes vs villains esque - soon becomes his calling#and he loses himself a little along the way#because the world is TERRIFYING now#if they don’t do something about the bad things in the world then worse things will come#and Raph CARES too much to let it happen#even at the expense of his own happiness and youth#and he luckily reigns back that fear - knowing his family is there to keep an eye out with him#and he finally lets himself be a kid again#he’s very well rounded and his flaws are so good because (like the others) they are ALSO his strengths#I like how it’s softly implied that bears are his fav animal too bc that’s cute af#headcanon that he likes them so much because a stuffed bear was the first toy splinter managed to get Raph#but yeah one of my favorite things about tmnt is that the characters are well rounded and rottmnt exemplifies that immensely#with raph being no exception!!#amazing big brother and character#there’s a REASON in my tmnt main character tierlist he’s S tier!!!!#hot take but in terms of who should be leader I think it should be less who’s the better leader-#-and more who’s the better leader FOR THIS SPECIFIC MISSION#bc all four can be great leaders fight me on that#APRIL can as well 100%#doesn’t need a designated leader for them to succeed#they just need ~communication~#one of my favorite things tying Raph and Leo together is that they both *hide*#I’ve talked about Leo’s many masks a lot but Raph has one too#and it’s the mask of a hero - the mask of the protector
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Talia found Yasmin's hide out only two days after the bomb.
It wasn't easy. Yasmin had hidden herself well - her monthly reports had never mentioned an acquaintanceship with Vladimir Masters, the absolute gall of that girl - in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin. She bypassed the few security measures with ease, eventually finding her daughter sitting at a kitchen table, hyperventilating.
"What happened?" Talia's voice was cold and demanding.
"The-" Yasmin gasped before stealing herself. "The Fentons are dead."
"I know the Fentons are dead." Talia circled the girl. "One split navel to throat, the other strangled. What. Happened?"
"The Fentons discovered their son was a Meta. Specifically, they thought he had been replaced with the extradimentional species they study." She took a deep breath. "By the time I had discovered their actions, Daniel was... dissected on a table."
Talia closed her eyes. She knew from Yasmin's reports that she'd been acting as the Fenton child's primary caretaker since her adoption and a fondness had developed. "Yasmin-"
"Don't, Mother." She snapped. "Don't act like this is anything less than a tragedy."
"I know-"
"He was a child-"
"Everything's been taken care of," Talia said. "As far as the authorities are concerned, Jasmine Fenton died in that explosion you caused. You need to return now-"
"No!" Yasmin bolted to her feet, glaring at Talia. "He's dead, Mother! An innocent child, the child I raised as my own, is dead because I couldn't protect him! Don't you dare try to sweep this under the rug like... like Danny was something shameful! I'm not leaving! I have to-"
Time Out.
Yasmin shut her mouth mid-sentence, giving Talia time to convince her off her self-destructive path.
"What happened to Daniel is a tragedy, Yasmin. But wallowing in grief and what-ifs only leads to further pain." Talia sighed. "The Fentons and the research you were so fascinated with are gone now. You made sure of that. It's time for you to return home and put that knowledge to use."
Yasmin stared down at her hands. Odd that Talia hadn't noticed, but Yasmin's hands cradled a small, dark blue jewel, polished into a smooth, oblong oval. It glittered under the candlelight, like stars in the sky.
Yasmin swallowed the rock and spoke, refusing to acknowledge what she'd just done. "You are right, Mother. The time of Jasmine Fenton is gone now." She stared straight at Talia, no trace of fear in her gaze. For a moment, Talia wondered where her child had gone. Yasmin never met her eyes unless prompted to when she was growing up. Now she was met with a younger version of herself with cheap dyed-red hair, with the same level of determination that made Talia the Right Hand of the Demon Head. "I will mourn for Danny... on my own time. For now, what is my mission?"
Talia studied her daughter. There was a reason why she'd hidden the girl so far out of the way of her Father and her son. Yasmin was a strong fighter, but had her father's heart, despite her willingness to kill. She'd always reminded Talia of a bodyguard rather than an assassin, but Yasmin wanted to go her own way, wanted to study everything. For years, Talia had indulged her daughter, but now it was time for her to return to the fold.
"For the next month, you will be training to remove any weakness the Fentons may have left in you. After that, you will be guarding an ally for me."
"Which ally?"
"A boy a few years older than you, a son of the Bat." Yasmin didn't react to the mention of her father. Good. "His mind is infirm, but by the time you finish your training, he will be ready to strike a blow against Gotham. You will act as his guard during his training and act as my spy while he's in Gotham. Do you understand?"
For a moment, Yasmin's hand brushed her stomach before she forced her fists to her sides. "Yes, Mother. I will do as you ask."
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#jasmine al ghul#yasmin al ghul#c: talia al ghul#c: clockwork#c: danny fenton#reincarnated danny fenton#Or re-grown might be the better term#danny needs to regrow his human body after the Fentons killed him#danny could have been reincarnated properly; it would have taken a few years maybe decades but it would have happened#clockwork gives Jazz/Yasmin the choice to raise Danny as her own son from her own blood#and when Jazz compares her life as an assassin/spy to that as Danny's (sweet loving Danny who adored her) caretaker#she knows which life she can't live without#also Yasmin does know Damian exists but has never met him#she knows there's a heir and knows its her full-blooded brother but that's it - no emotional connection so she doesn't care#I can see this ending up Anger Management with a side of pre-reveal Red Hood Jason thinking he's the baby daddy#with Jazz violently disagreeing with that assumption
874 notes
·
View notes
Text
He kisses Henry's knuckle, just below his ring. "I have some ideas."
#rwrb#rwrbedit#red white and royal blue#firstprince#userninz#chrissiewatts#userveronika#usersteen#usernuria#userclara#usergayppl#mine*#omg a rwrb edit at long last#its time for a bonus chapter edit#'he wants it completely' youre gonna get it baby!!!!!!!#get me this sequel now. i need to see them falling in love all over again but on their own terms#and figuring out all the things they never knew about each other and themselves#ussjkdhgds god.#something about them persevering through it all and it ultimately making both of their lives better :(#JUST BELOW HIS RING
612 notes
·
View notes
Text
Call me homophobic, but I don't actually think it's great representation to stick a complex, dynamic, newly-realized bisexual character permanently with a flat, boring, underdeveloped love interest just because that was the first guy who showed interest.
#in my hater era#like what you like#but goddamn#the argument that this is somehow outstanding queer representation is baffling#they have had 13 episodes to DO something with this character and they have chosen not to#no development anywhere#even though they literally brought him back so there is built-in background ripe for the picking#and yet#anti bucktommy#anti tommy kinard#the saddest part is#i don't even hate him#he's not important enough to hate#there is just absolutely nothing to him#and that's sad because whether or not he was intended to be long-term or endgame#the writers are better than this and the character SHOULD have SOME development#like why are we all swooning over 911 shoehorning in a returning character to tell a bi buck story#but treating that character like the most expendable love interest in history#i don't like him but actually i think queer characters#and especially ones who are part of such a major later-in-life bisexual realization storyline for a beloved main#deserve a little more respect than what 911 has been giving him#anyway#might delete later i don't know#also i need to stop looking at the 911 subreddit#worst takes i've ever seen that place is a cesspool
273 notes
·
View notes
Note
How exactly is being otherkin any different than being transracial by idea? I’m not pro-transracial, but I can’t really formulate an argument on where the difference is and why one is okay while the other isn’t
The difference, in my opinion at least, basically comes down to the fact that race and ethnicity are things other real people deal with and which have big cultural impact for a lot of people; species is not. You can't hurt theriform wolves by identifying as a wolf because wolves are not people and are not aware of any of this. Dragons may be people depending on the dragon, but they don't exist physically in this world to have an opinion. You can, however, hurt people of color by identifying as transethnicity and approaching it in a disrespectful way.
And I say it that way because if I'm honest, transethnicity is one of those transIDs where I'm... a little torn on it. I can understand the feelings and experiences they're describing, but I struggle to find a way to engage with the idea of being transethnicity that isn't going to wind up being racist in one way or another. And while I haven't exactly spent a ton of time in radqueer/transID spaces, when I've gone into their tags and such to do a little research on them, I have overwhelmingly seen transethnicity people being kind of if not extremely racist about it. The experiences are not inherently harmful, but it's really easy to slide into engaging with those experiences in a way that's harmful.
And yet... in this community we have, for example, fictionkin whose fictotypes are a different race than them all the time, and sometimes that's very important to who their fictotype is and how they view the world. And that works out fine. I think the primary difference is that fictionkin are generally expected to acknowledge that they're not a part of that group in the present and can't speak on the group's issues or experiences as if they were, whereas the minute you put a trans- label onto the word, the expectation is that you should be treating a trans[x] person as if they're [x]. (And if it's not, then... why are you calling it trans- anything to begin with when that's what trans- means in an identity context?)
So, I do genuinely believe that they're having these experiences, but... idk, there has to be a better way to frame and engage with those experiences. I don't know what that is, but it's got to be out there somewhere, though it may not be a one-size-fits-all answer. (And maybe there's a transID community out there that's found it, I don't know.)
Anyway, open invitation for POC to give their thoughts on this, since they've probably got better-constructed ones than me; if I'm honest, I haven't spent all that much time thinking about this issue. I think about it on and off here and there when it comes up and then it gives me a headache so I move on.
#otherkin#rani talks#asked and answered#anonymous#my opinion on transid stuff kind of boils down to just#50% of it is 'do you know you're allowed to just want things?' (transoccupation; transhaircolor; etc)#30% of it is 'you are almost certainly not trans[x] you're just [x] and are gatekeeping yourself/enshrining questioning doubt -#- as part of your identity instead of getting over it' (for the last time you cannot be transotherkin. you're just otherkin. it's okay)#(see also transplural and a lot of transabled)#10% of it is 'oh my gods you should under no circumstances be making that part of your identity' (transharmful; transabuser)#and 10% of it is this 'your experiences are real but there's gotta be a better way to engage with them than this' (transethnicity; transage#a LOT of it is just... why do you feel the need to put EVERY aspect of yourself through a trans lens#it doesn't have to be trans to be valid. you can just want things. in some cases you can just Be Things#anyway. that's my ramble for the day#transid#transethnicity#i am intentionally using that term preferentially bc i know transrace can mean something non-transid#just for the record on why i made that change from your original phrasing#anyway. brace for 48 hours of arguing about radqueer stuff in my notes and inbox o7
133 notes
·
View notes
Text
my favorite genre of men is gay, depraved, and covered in blood
#I love gay people covered in blood#even better when they’re insane#gay is being used an umbrella term here#Hannibal is here in spirit#I just really like that pic of Will#amc iwtv#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#scream movie#scream#stuilly#stu macher#billy loomis#hannibal nbc#will graham#hannigram#black sails#captain flint#lgbt#mlm#gay#just realized how feral flint looks in that pic#i need him so bad
239 notes
·
View notes
Text
my god I try not to talk abt it here, because yall follow me for the Good Stuff and not the Negative Stuff, but eating disorder geared social media is coming back in a MAJOR WAY and I feel like I see wayyyy more stuff that's like, harkening back to thinspo / pro-ana tumblr, But Worse, and everywhere, and it is very concerning
#we're returning to the era where you'll see a picture or drawing of the most Kinda Chubby person ever#and the comments and replies are filled with the words MORBIDLY OBESE#you can tell the fatphobia is peaking again bc of the use of that term bc I feel like I haven't seen someone#unjokingly use the words ''morbidly obese'' since I was 16. like are we joking?#sergle.txt#I need to make time for more art and I need to make *my* art fatter. to feel better.#anyway I just wanted to complain. bc it's kinda crazy
241 notes
·
View notes
Text
#me 💒#I had a good day back at work but so very exhausted#still got home and sat down with a tea to do some journaling before I chill for da night#but I’m genuinely proud of myself bc I’ve wanted to make a bigger point of sticking to things that will better my life in the long term#and I’ve been mostly doing that#all steps in the right direction anyways some days there’s just too much mental illness but finding that balance has been rewarding#not that y’all care it’s just been exciting for me lol#anywho enjoy some cute pics from today or whateva I need to make dinner
147 notes
·
View notes
Text
Decided to give a shot at making a mock screenshot with my own SH cousin, Petra. There's a lot of mistakes and a lot I should do differently next time, but I still like this version enough to share (:
#my art#oc art#digital art#my oc#artists on tumblr#illustration#scarlet hollow#scarlet hollow fanart#scarlet hollow mc#Petra Scarlet OC#this shit was so difficult bro. and i didnt even need to code anything. MASSIVE massive props to abby and tony for this#black tabby games#i put her sprite next to tabbys to see how different they were and wow was that a humbling experience LOL#turns out abby uses different sized ink pens for different parts of the sprite while i used one brush for the whole thing. so very differen#in terms of line thickness and detailing in the two sprites its crazy. oh well it was a fun first attempt and ive learned a ton already#ill do it better next time. and try to do my other cousins too
60 notes
·
View notes
Text
#okay i needed to read this#you probably do too#yeah there were many many many suckage occurrences#but it's also helpful to remember there were some fairly major long-term/structural changes for the better as well#and it's worth talking about that as much as the catastrophes
293 notes
·
View notes
Text
You don’t have to like sebaciel or the many undertones it presents in the series but it’s actually getting to the point where insistent ignorance of the sexual nature Ciel is presented in can be dangerous. Fiction does not exist on a 1:1 scale with reality but just using this fictitious scenario of Ciel being sexualised (by Yana herself) while having a panic/asthma attack and it being called “not actually sexual” or sebaciel fans being called “delusional” when pointing out the erotic nature of, not just this, but the many instances in which the viewer is meant to see Ciel in a sensual manner, is concerning.
You should be able to identify a sexual situation, even if it’s a situation in which the things happening are not inherently sexual. One of the main components of grooming is that is does not start out sexual, there’s a buildup to that in which the groundwork has already been laid. I’ll say it again, you should be able to identify when something sexual is happening without it being inherently sexual.
Yes, Ciel is repeatedly sexualised canonically, it is not being used to mock shippers, he simply exists in a very erotic manner in many situations using a variety of different ways to depict it, most commonly being flower language. No, you are not “morally correct” for not enjoying it, you just find it uncomfortable or triggering and that’s fine. Yes, you should be able to see that he’s being sexualised because he’s fake and if you cannot see it then there’s a chance of not being able to see this in real life, whether it be a friend, a child in your care, or even yourself.
Not being able to identify the sexual nature a character can be presented in is not a good thing. It doesn’t mean you “aren’t a porn addict”, it doesn’t mean you “aren’t a bad person” and it certainly doesn’t mean you are “not a pedophile, like those shippers are”. It means you cannot spot the difference between a bad fake relationship and a bad real relationship.
Stop giving a damn about fictional characters and start giving a damn about yourself.
#someone on Twitter said it better than I can but if you are staunchly and genuinely believing that Ciel’s panic attack isn’t meant to be#use flower language or fan language or even the ways in which they are dressed#for your own safety you should be able to identify that even as an adult#sebaciel#kuroshitsuji#black butler#internet safety#I guess#sebastian michaelis#ciel phantomhive#also don’t come into my notes victim blaming because you don’t like antis I will block you#pro fiction#profic#*loud sigh*#I hate this term but I need to use it for ✨reach✨#pro ship#proship
162 notes
·
View notes
Note
the original ranma is good and I hold it close to my chest from nostalgia but I will say be warned: its pretty racist about chinese people 😭 so far it seems like the reboot is working against that but we'll have to see when shampoo shows up
yk i cant say im surprised because the first thing i did when they said the word china was cringe internally and pray to god they'd be normal about it but maybe i will just stick with the reboot on this one
#almost all the discussion ive seen says the remake is better in terms of comedy and romance. which is what i like. so#maybe i dont actually need to consume the original media for once. i think im ok this time#asks
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dyou think that when Stede is sad or having a bad day he just stays quiet? The average person can’t tell he’s not doing good but Ed just knows. His jokes are less enthusiastic, he makes fewer silly comments, and he’s got this faraway look in his eyes. And Ed knows he’s gonna have to ask multiple times before he actually gets Stede to tell him what’s up cause Stede will always just go “yes I’m fine don’t worry just tired ☺️” at first. But eventually when whatever is bothering him comes out he’ll get to spend the rest of the day wrapped up in Ed’s arms.
#I like to think Stede is like me#and verbally expressing what’s upsetting can feel almost painful at times#it’s always better when it comes out#but fuck he’s exhausted afterwards#also the whole thing of having to hide his emotions and cry in private all his life#yeah#ofmd#stede bonnet#edward teach#blackbonnet#gentlebeard#ughhh I need to start tagging all my headcanons so I can go back and find them#but that means I’ll have to go back through the last two years of posts and tag them too!#but I like to keep stuff organised!#maybe that’s a long term job for me to do#Ollie brainrots
108 notes
·
View notes
Text
when your friends affirm theriotypes you don't get connected to often >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
#theriotype for lack of a better term#my friend was pointing out that i was exhibiting corvid behaviour#the way i eat sunflower seeds (very autistically) and pick random metal shiny things off the ground#i need to remake a trinket box for myself#tags ->#therian community#nonhuman#otherkin#therian#therianthropy#alterhuman#alterhumanity#therian things#theriantropy#crow kin#corvid kin#crowkin#crow therian#birdkin#wolf kin#wolfkin#wolf therian#dogkin#canine kin#dog therian#canine therian#polytherian
112 notes
·
View notes