#I nearly cried in happiness about that
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Took two days, but I finally beat Echoes of Wisdom!!
#echoes of wisdom#legend of zelda#no spoilers#IT HAS PROPER DUNGEONS!!#I nearly cried in happiness about that#Even if you don't like top down#I would recommend this one a go#Story is half descent too#watching the credits as I type this#the companion grew on me
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Here is the slut.
#dndads#dungeons and daddies#my art#glenn close#i have to wake up at 5 and write a math test tomorrow so you guys better be greatful i did this#cause i spend way too long trying to draw glenn hot like wayyy too long#i did not do school work cause of this#i dont even care about that damn pole i dont#but here is dilf glenn are you happy now?#are you satisfied?#i nearly cried cause of this damn drawing#also cause i lost my fave necklace down a fucking sink drain and am gonna have to beg some people tomorrow to help me get it out#at lesst im getting my hair dyed#i also have like two tests wendesday and like a bilion projects for thursday and Friday and all i did was draw hot glenn#im gonna go drink my hour old coffee and cry now#honestly vote carlos hes not a dick that sucks to draw#hot glenn autumn
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BEATLES '64 PHOTO DUMP BECAUSE I TOOK A GAZILLION SCREENSHOTS!!!!! WHAT A GOOD DOCUMENTARY!!!!! (it's 98% JUST ringo and george though ough)
#absolutely beautiful#nearly cried but i kept it together!!!#LOVE IT SMMMM TY TO EVERYONE WHO WORKED ON IT!! including olivia harrison the only Ever#that lady is augh.... so amazing.... so pretty...#scratches head. anyways!#i was fed so well#i loved seeing how silly they were especially george#literally was like 😯😯😯 at everthing#and ringo was a blast i laughed#paul looked so lost BUT he was super funny too#i love everytime he points out that chimpanzee#john was also really great to see#the GIRLS were SOOOO real ngl... insane but real#i nearly died when they put parts of the ringo and george interview in#interview?? they were on a show or something BUT its one of my fav things ever#im so quoting the white christmas part#“whats your favorite song right now?” “....white christmas! :D”#probably watched that part WAY too many times#OH ALSO RONNIEEEEE I WANTED TO SEE MORE OF HERRRR#WAS SO HAPPY SEEING HER you dont even KNOW#and brian and smokey and and literally everyone in it#“i am full of octopuses” ringo#seriously love that documentary#excuse for me to quote george a bunch...... yes#its true its true!#OH GUYS.. LITMW CD COMING FRIDAYYYYY SO POST ABOUT IT VERY SOON#anthology 1 cd post soon as well i need to relisten ngl
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#i think getting nearly firecracker-bombed the other evening affected me more than i realized at the time#because this has been by far the worst new year's ever for me#in the past i was never more than mildly annoyed by it and even enjoyed the midnight fireworks climax#but i think i might have actually gotten a bit traumatized by that experience two days ago#and hadn't acknowledged it to myself / processed it. as today/tonight has demonstrated#it's past 3 a.m. now and i'm still crying too hard to sleep#and my whole body has been shaky for the past... 10 hours. or so.#even though the fireworks at midnight weren't really that bad at all#not even close to being as terrifying as the three explosions earlier this evening#which in their turn were easily outdone by the street explosion on saturday night that deafened me#i think i may be having a legit delayed trauma response to that now#re-triggered every time a firework goes off near me#i've never been someone who feels much fear#i feel stress and anger and discomfort and i worry and overthink sometimes#i've done a lot of things in my life while thinking 'well. this might be about to kill me. but we all die someday'#and never till this weekend did i feel terror on this level#(a technically unjustified terror too. bc inside my flat i'm almost 100% safe. so that again suggests a trauma response)#i don't think i've ever cried from sheer fear for my safety before#and every post i see saying 'happy new year' makes me feel sick bc it reminds me of this horrible weekend#it's wild how my lifelong feelings about fireworks could change so completely in the course of just three days#for the first time in my life i feel the need for one of those drugs that blunts your emotions and helps relax you#what is that... xanax or something like that? how do you get it? do you need a prescription?#i feel like a doctor would just scoff if i told them that NYE fireworks traumatized me so bad i need medication now#i've been trembling for hours. i'm so tired. i wish i could sleep#*three days ago
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me looking at any clone oc: YOU ARE BELOVED NOW NO TAKE BACKSIES
#this is in fact about Anchor Squad (mwah! love those guys to bits you have NO idea how much they make me smile)#also about my sister's new clone oc Rinker#on the spur of the moment I helped her make a squadron and this guy was the second one she named#and of the entire squad she kept forgetting him - but he's the first one she drew and I drew Rinker as well#and- and he's so happy in the drawing I nearly cried#I've got clone ocs as well but Rinker lad you'll forever have a space in my heart <3#look!! words!!
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I did not think reading about jade wanting a family would hurt me this bad but god. it hurts. it hurts sosososo much
#dude :( dudeeeee#picture perfect wizardry#upd8#i sobbed unironically at the panels with her and baby yiffy#and just. reading jade’s thoughts on how the actual situation went down#how she felt so trapped within earth c and how dating was so hard#how no body there even sees her as a person but only as her title#how she wanted so badly to live and be free and not stuck where she was. how yiffy was what made her world better#THE PANELS OF HER HOLDING YIFFY. i cried. i sobbed#my wifeee :(((( she deserves to feel loved and to have something that makes her feel like she actually has a future#it’s kinda messed up the way she and rose went about it yes definitely#but. god. i feel for her#she’s lived nearly her whole life all alone or feeling out of place. she shouldn’t have to feel like that for forever#she was treated so bad in the epilogues man i am so happy to see her decisions get actual development and attention#she loves her daughter so much and you can just tell and. wagh. head in hands#anyway. yiffy !!!!!! so happy to see her#a little sad how small of time we got with her but obviously we’ll probably get more in the future#also meenah next update ?? maybe hopefully possibly…….#i’m being normal about this series. lying. big lie#delete later
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I was at a cute little poetry circle recently, and I read a poem of mine inspired by my favorite poem. "Batter My Heart, Transgender’d God" by Meg Day (I'll put that poem under the cut). Someone then turned to me and asked if my "Batter My Heart" was the inspiration for it. Apparently they're the one who introduced the poem to the person who introduced me to it
Batter My Heart, Transgender’d God by Meg Day:
Batter my heart, transgender’d god, for yours
is the only ear that hears: place fear in my heart
where faith has grown my senses dull & reassures
my blood that it will never spill. Show every part
to every stranger’s anger, surprise them with my drawers
full up of maps that lead to vacancies & chart
the distance from my pride, my core. Terror, do not depart
but nest in the hollows of my loins & keep me on all fours.
My knees, bring me to them; force my head to bow again.
Replay the murders of my kin until my mind’s made new;
let Adam’s bite obstruct my breath ’til I respire men
& press his rib against my throat until my lips turn blue.
You, O duo, O twin, whose likeness is kind: unwind my confidence
& noose it round your fist so I might know you in vivid impermanence.
#idk I just thought this was silly and neat#glad to see someone else knows what runs through my head#obsessed with this poem tbh#The whole poetry circle was such a sweet and fun thing ngl#What if I just confessed my undying love#I got to see a bunch of people I haven't had a chance to be around in Months as well#One person made cupcakes themed around Wild Geese by Mary Oliver#I think I ate cupcakes that said 'wild geese head home' and 'the world offers itself'#Who is your favorite poet?#trans#transgender#Poetry#poems#poetry circle#My poem is about being queer but not specifically trans#I'm planning to submit it to a literary magazine soon so we'll see how that goes#lgbt#lgbtq#Meg Day#Batter My Heart Transgender’d God#queer#I'm poem#Great use of 3+ hours on a Sunday#I nearly cried on my way back home because I was just so overwhelmingly happy#I love you all to Fragments
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Tis a very special day for a very special man...
At the Sky Temple, Fujin was spending his leisure in the library alongside a few other monks either reading, talking, or organizing the numerous books or scrolls. As Fujin strolled about, he overheard soft giggles and followed them to find Sienna reading with Asma and Celeste in a little cozy reading space.
"Papa!" Asma and Celeste noticed Fujin, their excitement being a bit too loud as some of the monks gestured to them to lower their voices and quietly raced into his arms to receive a welcoming hug with Sienna following suit, greeting her husband with a kiss.
"You all seem to be enjoying yourselves. Do you have room for one more?" Fujin teased.
"Haha, always, but actually wanna go for a walk? These two could use some fresh air." Sienna suggested, tickling the girls.
They strolled down the hall, chatting about each other's day, the funny stories that were read before they made it outside in the temple gardens. Confusion was all over Fujin's face as they stopped near a tree with a laid out blanket, a picnic basket, lots of balloons and a bunch of wrapped gifts.
"Uh, Sienna.. wha-"
"SUPRISE!!! Happy Father's Day!" Sienna, Asma, and Celeste exclaimed, with Aella and Rayan emerging from behind the tree, tackling Fujin down, while Haven climbed into his mother's arms and busted out the confetti with her.
For the next few hours, the family spent their wonderful afternoon enjoying homemade pound cake, playing a game or two of tag and charades, and ending the day with sunset gazing and opening presents.
"Oh, here! We made this for you, papa." Asma handed Fujin a box, which was revealed to be a collage decorated with handprints and hearts, containing special moments and titled, "We Love you, Papa. Always have, always will."
The children then gathered together as Sienna brought her guitar and together they sang:
🎵You are our sunshine, our only sunshine. You make us happy, when skies are gray. You'll never know, Dad, how much we love you. Please don't take our sunshine away.🎵
"We love you, Daddy!"
"Wow...just wow. I'm so touched. I too love you all so very much." Fujin softly chuckled as he held a hand to his eyes with a few happy tears streaming down.
Sienna teared up herself, watching the kids embrace their father in a big ol hug package. She joined in, feeling the joyfulness radiating from his heart and laid a gentle kiss upon his temple.
"Happy Father's Day, my love…"
There were no words that could fully describe what Fujin felt at that moment. His heart beamed with so much happiness. Being here with his family who were so eager and grateful to celebrate him was all too heartwarming for words. Was this all a dream? Does he truly deserve all of this? Was he really allowed to be blessed with this joyous moment? Respectfully in that order: No, most definitely, and hell to the absolute yeah.
Asma belongs to mah lovely @ninibear3000
Mama Sienna and WildWind babies belong to yours truly! ^_^
#mortal kombat#mk11#mortal kombat fanfiction#mk oc#mortal kombat oc#wildwind babies#sienna#wildwind#fujin#mk11 fujin#lord fujin#mk fujin#'it is a joy i will never know' ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT???#nearly cried writing this its too fluffy 😭#Fujin deserves the very best and more#such wholesome heartwarming family moments#excuse me while i go cry my.eyes out somewhere#happy father's day
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Episode one of Supernatural is so flawed that, had I watched it for the first time last night (instead of for the third), I would not have have watched the second. Ever. The flaws are things I simply didn't pick up on when I was thirteen, and memory glazed over with emotional attachment. I understand why these flaws are there, what the writers tried and failed to do through clumsy dialogue and strange character decisions. There's no subtlety. Everything Sam says is direct exposition, specifically the things that he would not have to say to his brother.
I do not do reviews so that's all I'm going to say.
#But who would I be if I had not watched supernatural?#I wouldn't be on tumblr for one#not in the same way that I am#Perhaps I would like different shows because the part of Supernatural that still appeals to me now is the queerbaiting#The blatant queerbaiting#the fact that they never get together#the weird way that excessive misogyny creates homoerotic subtext#that's what captures my interest as a viewer#which is problematic or whatever idk i think the show would have been less interesting as a romance#the most interesting part of the show to me by far is dean's character#and part of his character when read as a suppression of homosexuality simply would not work if the show didn't queerbait#also fun headcanons i hold for characters (like trans/bi dean) are separate from how i would actually analyse the actions of dean#i don't think dean is trans i don't think his character reflects a trans narrative#but i make him trans in my fanfic because i can#and i enjoy exploring that potential interpretation of his character even if i don't agree with it necessarily#i'm better at explaining this in person but I watch hannibal and Supernatural over shows with actual representation in them#because it's frequently a more interesting dynamic as someone who doesn't actually enjoy watching romance#this is not to say i don't watch things with queer characters in them and that I don't love to see representation#i nearly cried when the doctor and rogue kissed#and i don't cry for tv shows#i get incredibly excited and happy to see queer representation in anything at all even if i'm never going to watch it#i'm so so happy that shows like heart stopper exist and are popular and mainstream#that's fucking awesome!#but i'm not gonna watch a queer romance for the same reason i'm not gonna watch a straight romance#it's boring once they get together#and i do want to mention that in my head there is a distinct difference between a romance and characters who are together#like hiccup and astrid isn't a romance they are two characters that get together in a story about friendship and standing up for yourself#and others and also it's about fucking dragons put whatever you want in there i will watch it if it's about dragons.#but stoic and valka is a romance BUT THEY DON"T END UP TOGETHER#spn
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My ass was trying so hard not to jump up and down with glee playing yttd with my sister and getting to the shin reveal I was like MY GUY MY FUNNY LAD MY SILLY RABBIT
#the klock keeps ticking#yttd#its like i cant get ahead of myself when talking about him cuz theres still a lot not revealed by the end of ch2 but STILLLL#i was keeping my opinions on characters pretty neutral this whole playthrough though my bias towards gin and kai was very apparent lol#and i did start screaming in agony reliving my worst nightmare joe dying#i dont think my sister was nearly as torn up about it as i was though like god ill still never get over it#the first time i played i actually gross sobbed like maybe i was just sleep deprived but i was inconsolable literally never cried that hard#but yeah we did the second main game today and i was like#‘not trying to persuade your vote but heres one million reasons why we should let shin live ahaha’#i dont think she was very happy with her vote aldnks#but yeah i really am gonna be sooo annoying next time we play im literally gonna bring pages of shin analysis with me that i can gush about#it is an interesting thing this character cuz to me like everything about him is so clear like even from the beginning i just didnt buy#the idea that he was genuinely an asshole i knew there had to have been something more going on#and idk if ive made it clear guys…but hes exactly like me guys hes just like me fr#his story hits so hard it feels like my own self insert which is weird cuz obviously thats not true#but like i feel like its either you get it or you dont and if you dont understand exactly what this character feels cuz you feel it yourself#i feel like so much of him just wont make any sense to you#maybe im just being pretentious idk but like if you cant relate to his abuse and just#very blatant bpd then I feel like youll just judge him on how good or badof a person he is#like it just doesnt feel like itd hit in the same way like when i see this character talking about being hopeless and the way his trauma#makes him act irrationally like god it just clicks so hard it makes so much sense and i can physically feel it through the screen#I MAY BE FERAL ABOUT THIS CHARACTER TO AN ABSURD DEGREE SHHH#basically what im getting at is i feel if i dont over explain everything about this character to other people i fear they just Wont Get It#and that they will be judgmental which idk i guess makes me defensive#anyway yeah i just enjoy getting to re experience the spiral this guy has given me and i will be thinking about it a lot tonight
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y'know. it really sucks to feel yourself back-sliding, mentally, when you know you've been doing pretty alright for a while
#i can feel it coming scoob. frankly i think it may already be here.#i am always so tired. frustrated. having really fun mood swings.#and my job is deeply taxing and deeply stressful. ao i never get any fucking reprieve.#and i literally don't have the energy to care for myself at home reliably.#so my whole fuckin day got ruined today bc my landlord visited with some people to measure the place.#and i spent hours cleaning. and he ended the call by trlling me my apartment was dirty.#so. i cried. bc i have no emotional resilience anymore on account of the constant stress#and then i cut someone off in traffic today despite trying really hard to Not do that#but despite checking my mirrors and blind spot 4 times i still managed it!#and they sped past me. so i screamed at them from the safety of my car with the windows rolled up.#and then immediately burst into uncontrollable tears that lasted the better part of 30 min#and nearly made me puke.#so now. i am hollowed-out and exhausted. just barely making it through.#and i can feel how close the absolute meltdown is. and i can't fuckin do anything about it bc i can't miss work! fuck!#it's been an exceptionally stressful two weeks and I've had it. but we keep trucking i guess.#idk im sad and frustrated and just going through it rn. and it sucks bc i remember being happy.#and i'm just not anymore.#i ramble#sorry this was long and rambly and unasked for i'm just having a really really bad day#and will be having them every day until at least august!
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a list of people whose houses made me think really hard and be in many different places at once
#comic#makeaterriblecomicday2024#all my love all of it#hat in ring one day late. it’s fine i think#it was good to see you. don’t die#this is also about the notetaking strategy— once you finish writing up the page rotate your paper 90 degrees to continue#you get two times the notes on one page because both ways are legible#i nearly cried saying goodbye because i was so happy to have seen you. please let me have this again
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got a new sketchbook so i drew a quick sigma in commemoration👍👍👍
#bungou stray dogs#sigma bsd#bsd#literally love him like oh my GOD#sry im normal#not too happy w how the photo looks though. it looks a lot better irl i promise#also i forgot how anxiety inducing traditional art is???#nearly cried about twice within the 30 minutes it took to draw#myart#fynori art tag :)
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makoto shinkai try not to make a movie that changes my entire brain chemistry challenge
#got out of the movie an hour ago and finally thinking about my feelings#it had no right being that good#very nearly cried#i love daijin and would kill for them#gently holds this film and locks it away in the happy place in my mind#suzume#makoto shinkai
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went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠
#like. to be clear this was the first time i've been literally anywhere but doctor's appointments in 4 years#not just because of the pandemic but because of mental and physical exhaustion#so it was a Big Mistake to go from 0 to 100 and not ease myself into it at all#but at the same time........ it was a fucking hellscape of people. i don't think any kind of buildup could have prepared me for it at all.#it was so much less crowded in 2020 (ironically the very last place i ever went; literally on the BRINK of covid)#and now idk what it's become. a monster con. it was unbelievable.#but i was only there for less than an hour but i was so so so terrified that i very nearly left before even seeing him#i couldn't even fully enjoy meeting him as kind as he was because i was so anxious and distracted#and when i got back to the car i just fucking cried.........#the last five days i've just been sitting in fear waiting to feel Any sort of symptoms#i wore two masks and again was barely there for long but Still#and everyone around me was so chill as if everything was normal and No One was wearing a mask :))))) it's not fucking fair man :)))))#insert the 'they don't know' meme; they don't know how much covid can destroy your body even if you get a 'mild' case#i would never want to be that ignorant even if i wasn't disabled and didn't have reason to worry (but everyone has reason to worry!!!)#but also. ignorance is bliss and it just really fucking sucks man.#it really fucking sucks. why do they get to be happy and enjoying life and not /me?/#why can't i do just ONE thing for myself without having it tainted by anxiety and fear that i'm going to die horribly???#while they get to do fucking EVERYTHING???#if they all just wore masks we could all enjoy ourselves much more comfortably than some of us are now#but no that's too much to ask from people 🙃🙃🙃#shit sucks man. the world sucks. something that should be a happy memory for me was simultaneously the most awful experience#and i don't know how to feel about it now that it's over#he knew that i was afraid and at the end he told me that he hoped to see me again at another event someday#and that made me cry because it felt like dazai telling me to live. and i want to. but i don't know how to when the world is like this now.#i desperately want to be able to see him again someday but right now after how terrifying that was i never want to go to a con ever again..#i wanted to ask him things about the manga and about dazai but i was being rushed and stressed so i couldn't ugh#(and doing that is hard enough anyway cause disability and i have to talk with my phone bahhhh)#at least i was able to give him my note *sigh*
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#god i always feel so lonely. like im the only trans somali person. ive never met another one#but my sister talked to me about a guy she met at her highschool and i was ecstatic#she said he was a trans somali gay guy and i nearly cried#like there was another one. in my city. who could understand#so i always waited for the day i could go to a public school and meet other people with experiences similar to mjne#that day still hasnt come. im still stuck being isolated. the only difference is im doing online school#and i have to be around these people knowing im not safe. that if they found out who i was i could be seriously harmed#but earlier today i found an account for somali gay people. i saw the most gorgeous trans people#and they were genuinely happy. all of them experienced nearly the same thing im experiencing#and theyre okay. god. aha#finn.txt
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