#I must return to my soup that im eating so that i can finish doing my work. farewell

[sleepy-spaceman]

minkowski doodles because i got bored while doing nothing (i have a global essay draft due) and because i love her <3

[jamestrmtx]

Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Sixteen | Dummy! (Part 2 of 3)

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When you're done freshening up, dinner's already underway. The scent of vegetables and broth hits your nose, and the cold temperature left behind by the storm brings forth an additional hint as to what the monster's cooking up for dinner. You try to stay soundless as you sneak off to the kitchen and stand behind him, looking over his shoulder when you make it there.

"I can tell you're here, pal," Sans says, chuckling. 

He turns to you with a spoon held out in his hand. There's a sample of soup on it, waiting to be tested. The scent reminds you of having missed lunch break due to the stormy weather, with the hours it lasted bringing forth your boss's decision to call the rest of your shift off. You were supposed to be at your last meeting by now, but the rain and wind had proven to be superior, canceling all plans. Less work meant less pay, though you try to refrain yourself from worrying too much about that right now. "Taste it." He offers it out to you, still waiting. You, on the other hand, take a while to do anything, overthinking the situation as you then debate on whether to grab the spoon or taste it right off his hand. The first option had the risk of you brushing hands with the monster and spilling the soup in the process, yet tasting it right off his hand was almost unthinkable to do. 

Another thought pops into your mind, and that's whether it was fine to trust the skeleton by tasting the food and giving him the benefit of the doubt about it not being tampered with. Though you knew him for a few months now, it's still impossible not to acknowledge a possibility like that one. If a man you'd known for so many years had ended up leaving you, only to make a scene like yesterday's when trying to get back with you, who's to say a stranger with customs far different from yours wouldn't do something similar -- or worse?

You remind yourself of your main and original task: confronting him and the rest of the monsters over the choices they made back at the Underground, regardless of how charming and kind they were being with you currently. Sans was no less of an exception. This wasn't only for Frisk's safety and their overall state of well-being, but for your reputation as their parent -- and for your peace of mind, too.

You figure you've taken too long based on how the skeleton backs the spoon away.

His grin widens, and he then sips the contents off the spoon, leaving it empty. "I promise it ain't poisoned." He gives his back to you as he goes to wash the spoon, offering it to you after it's been cleaned. "You can taste it now." Sans moves aside, creating space for you to step forward and scoop a bit of the soup still bubbling in the pot.

Just as you're about to eat it though, he says, "I'm not the best cook around, so go ahead and lemme know if it tastes funny." 

A smile forms on your face when you hear that, captivated by the idea of him having no clue how to begin cooking, and even more considering he was at your home instead of his. If it was often difficult for beginners to cook in the familiarity of their own home, you can't imagine how it must feel doing that at another person's place. For a moment, you wish you could've seen him in the process of cooking, an opportunity you'd lost while you went off to shower and change.

When you taste it, what's missing drops into your thoughts; years of having cooked at home reveal the capability of identifying that quickly. You consider the suggestion and confirm what the soup's lacking when you clean up the spoon and take a second sample off the pot. "It's good," you say, setting it aside. "Just needs a bit of salt and more time to stew. The rest is fine."

"Thanks," he replies, hands going back to his pockets. "Paps wants to improve his cooking, so I figured I've gotta better mine some more before I teach 'im anything."

Again, your mind finds itself in a conflict. While it's charmed by the thoughtfulness of that comment, it's also clouded by the morose reminder of why you'd asked him to stay for dinner in the first place. To distract yourself, you add the missing ingredient to the soup and walk with Sans to the couch while it finishes boiling.

It feels strange to sit so far apart from each other, but he doesn't close off the distance, nor do you.

You prop a leg over the other and rest a hand over your knee, bouncing the one on the floor when you lack anything more to say. Your thoughts scramble around as you try to find a way to make the situation less awkward. When you glance back at him, you see it's something he also seems to want to end; your gaze meets with his when you both decide to look at each other's side -- synchronizing.

He shifts closer and you do the same, continuing until your hands touch.

Almost immediately, you pull back, yet your gaze remains locked with his, eyes drifting down to his teeth. Even as he gets nearer, you stay put, lost in your thoughts and the risky scenario unfolding. Your brain and heart scream at you to stop; your body -- conversely -- refuses to move out of its current spot and rebels by inching closer to him, until you're near enough to catch the scent of the only soap brand you often bought for showering: soft-scented, cheap, and antibacterial. It's strange to catch that aroma from someone other than yourself. Frisk preferred using a different kind, making the situation much more intimate than you would like it to feel.

You grab his hand again as he leans into you, only stopping himself when your back presses against the armrest. Then, he pulls his hand back and uses both to hold your shoulders and corner you right into place. Height difference makes it so that his legs stay knelt on the couch while yours hang off it, these tucked aside as you focus on the matter at hand. He brings himself closer as he tries to level out your heights, grip on you staying. The sound of your heart and of the soup simmering by the kitchen are the only two other things to keep your mind occupied from what's happening; anticipation makes your breaths waver.

As if the situation couldn't get tense enough, the door of the living room opens and in barge two people, leaving you in an iced state. 

Rather than Frisk and Toriel, it's Frisk and Jerry who stand at the frame, one casting a look of betrayal at the monster while the other scrutinizes the scene. You try standing up, yet the monster's hands hold you back, body held up over yours -- still cornered. His face reveals nothing but conflict, an expression similar to your state of mind regarding how freely to act with him. 

Jerry leaves without a word and shuts the door too slow for it to even click. Frisk does the rest of the job for him by locking it, checking it again, and saying nothing themselves as they look at you in the eye and sign, "Can we talk later, ren?"

Still in a tough position, you nod once, lacking strength or words to say anything out loud. 

Sans doesn't move even as Frisk disappears into the hallway.

You see his irises falter when you look at him; his gaze isn't fully there. A few drops of sweat are present on his forehead, and you can feel his hands grow colder with each second. "...Are you okay, Sans?" you ask, voice faint. "I, um... I think the soup should be ready now."

You hope that's enough to snap him out of it, only to have that contradicted when his hold on you stays. "I'm sorry, (Y/N)," he mutters, huffing, "I failed you."

Sans moves back while you sit up straight; silence returns. He stands up and goes to turn off the stove, all done within more time than you would expect as he chooses to stay there a few more minutes, staring aimlessly at the kitchen's wares. You rest your hands on your knees, and you wait to see what he does next. There's not much you can do now that you were caught in a moment like that one, and there's no time to beat yourself up over it, either. All you can do's admit your blame where it best seemed fit, and that was in letting your inner voice act before you. You'd given it your strongest efforts to wait until your first year of college to date Jerry, only to then wait until you had a stabler job by your second semester to actually do anything more serious with him, and later waited six more years alone, watching as Frisk grew up in your care for most of the time, only to let your wants show through now of all times.

Excuse through excuse -- be it valid or not -- you'd restricted yourself at every moment you saw possible.

All that, and yet it still felt as if you hadn't done enough.

You wanted to be stronger. 

"Frisk told me 'bout your situation," Sans says, distracting you from your thoughts. "Not whatever happened with Jerry, but the way you see monsters, and well… me, in general." He turns away from the kitchen and sits back down on the couch, looking directly at you, though for wholly different reasons than earlier ago. His hand stays over yours, more comforting than sultry. Were you to know him for any longer, you would've assumed he's holding his soul on his sleeve, yet you remind yourself he's still a stranger. "Maybe this's my habits showin' up, but if I were to judge you based on what they told me, I'd say you're labeling yourself as the bad guy." His fingers intersect with yours, squeezing your palm. "Of all the things I've gotten to learn about you, this's one of the least you should be blamin' yourself for. If anything, you're not exactly the only one responsible for all that's been happenin' right now."

Your breaths grow tighter the longer you keep listening to him. Your heart's racing again, yet it's not the same as before. The monster lets your hand go, continuing with, "I can't tell you just how different we are from each other, and how much I wish I had a fraction the amount of willpower you and your kid have." He sighs; a hint of a smile shows despite the furrow in his gaze. "You've got some things right about me, and one of 'em's havin' chosen to act too late. Being unable to be there for those I care about, more specifically." His nose cavity flares as he lets out a stifled laugh, remorse showing in spite of his best efforts not to let that happen. "I hate who I used to be, and even now, I still feel like I could've done more. I wanna try harder, but I don't have a clue on where to start with that."

Sans tries to stand up, yet fails to. He heaves out a breath as he closes his eye sockets and surrenders himself back on the couch; he rests his elbow over the armrest and lets his chin rest on his hand. After that, he looks back to your side, an apologetic gaze showing as his grin widens and his crease deepens, the way his monster anatomy worked allowing him to further display similar movements to that of a human narrowing their gaze. "Keep taking credit where it's due, (Y/N). And when you've got somethin' you want to improve, try your best to overcome it." He pauses, and the crease in his gaze lessens as he casts a fonder look at you. "Not that you ain't tryin' already. But you're still takin' up too much of the blame, and not realizing when you can be free. It doesn't have to be with me -- or anybody else, for that matter -- but try to live life a lil' more. Don't just dwell on the past and restrain yourself from stuff you want to achieve for yourself. You should live for you, just as you're tryna live for others."

He closes his eye sockets and brings a hand to his face, rubbing his forehead until he lets out a hushed sigh. Then, he opens them and straightens up on his seat, hands resting on his lap. There's a brief pause, broken when he breathes in again, saying, "...So a skeleton and a single parent walk into a bar," he takes another stop, continuing with, "One bares their skin to the bartender, earnest down to the bone," his breath hitches, yet he composes himself quickly, "the other sits back, looks into the past, and then wonders why he's feelin' so lonely."

He huffs and ends it all with a chuckle and an attempt at covering his face away from your sight. You stop him with the brush of a hand, taking his cheekbone when he turns to you. His body's shaking and a few tears escape his sockets, these he tries to wipe with his free hand, only for you to hold him back by doing that yourself. Caught in the moment, you kiss one of them away, the expectance of a salty taste proven wrong as you receive a hint of sweetness instead -- reflecting the memory of your day with him at the pâtisserie. His shoulders shake as he chokes back a sob, breaking down. His hands grab your back, bringing you in for a hug as he seeks more comfort. In that embrace, you can feel how his rib cage rises and falls at quick intervals, slowing down when you hug him back and wait until he breaks it apart.

The wait's as long as you expect it for someone in his state; the weight of his breaths diminish as he calms down and lets you go.

"Sorry about that," he comments, chuckling. "Wasn't really myself for a moment there, huh?"

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[hustlinhufflepuff]

I’ll Remember (Part 2)

PART ONE 

Dracoxfemreader

Warnings: some bad words, rough sex, smut

A/N: This is my first time writing smut I hope it’s okay. I’m out of school till January so I can write without feeling guilt for not doing my work! Also, I tried making the sex scene more real by including him asking for consent and respecting boundaries! @dray-cookies I hope I didn’t disappoint omg IM SCARED

Word count:  3945

The next morning comes – scratch that, the next afternoon comes and you wake up. You wipe the drool off your face as you sit up on your bed. I thought sleeping was supposed to help not getting a hangover. You get up and stumble into the bathroom and see yourself in the mirror. You were still wearing last night's outfit and your mascara was smudged. You undress yourself and get in the shower to remove the smell of alcohol and wipe off the smudged mascara. Once you get out you look in the mirror and wipe off whatever residue was on your face and brush your teeth. You exit the bathroom and your roommate has returned, “Oh, you’re up!” she said surprised. “I wouldn’t say I’m completely awake” you respond. She shrugs and continues shuffling through her chest. “What are you searching for?” you ask. “I’m looking for my picture of my family, I’ve been meaning to frame it and put it on my nightstand” she says, continuing to rummage through everything. “Ah, well you have fun with that, I’m heading to lunch” you say turning the doorknob. “Yeah, heading to lunch an hour late. “Well I didn’t you wake me up!” you say standing in the door frame. She looked back at you, “You don’t think I tried?” she said and you closed your eyes and tilted your head to say “fair enough”.

You arrived at the Great Hall and sat down, it was pretty vacant and you didn’t see anyone you wanted to sit with so you sat alone. You began eating some soup and slurping it up, “Oh God, please stop making that horrendous sound” you look up to see Draco standing across from you. He sits down in front of you and you furrow your eyebrows, “Actually, in Japan, it’s considered a compliment to the chef if you slurp your ramen” you say sitting straighter. Draco scoffs, “Are we in Japan and are you eating ramen?” he said looking at you. “Well, if you don’t like it, you can leave” you say back. He puts his hands up and pushes forward, “Whoa, calm down!! I’ll put up with it and stay.” he says. “I am calm!!” you raise your voice and slam your fist on the table. “Sorry, I’m cranky” you say, realizing you overreacted. “Well, you did drink 8 cups of beer” you roll your eyes. “You came to the party?” you say confused. “Yeah, I got there just in time to see you drink your 8th cup” he replied. “I was there for maybe half an hour until you knocked out” you blush slightly. You look up at the ceiling trying to remember last night, “I kind of remember now, I remember us talking while I was in bed” you look at him and could see he was getting uncomfortable. “Yep, we did. We just talked about basic stuff, got to go!” he said, getting up quickly and walking out the Great Hall at a fast pace. You watch him walk out, ‘Weird, he has a cute butt though’ you think to yourself, you shrug and finish up your soup. 

After you took a short nap and became rehydrated, you didn’t feel so hungover. You kept thinking about why Draco felt so uncomfortable around you, he wasn’t that normally. Okay, let me think back to last night you think as you close your eyes. 1. I got carried by my teammates and the party started. 2. I started drinking while waiting for Draco. 3. I sang loudly and danced terribly after my 4th drink 4. I got sad because Draco hadn’t shown up and started drinking my 6th drink 5. After my 7th I began dancing again. 6. Got tired, started my 8th drink and Draco came! 7. I got tired and he helped me to my dorm. 8. We talked about…. shit… this is the part I can’t remember… Come on, brain! Think!! Okay, we talked about the game and he said he got distracted and that’s why he lost! He got distracted by… ME! He got distracted by ME! I remember now! He told me I was pretty and kissed me goodnight!

 Your roommate poked you, “You okay?” she asks. You open your eyes, “Yes, why?” you respond, sitting up on your bed. “You were just making weird faces, I didn’t know what was happening” she shrugged. “Oh, yeah.. just thinking about things..” you say, fiddling with your hands. “Okay..” she said, skeptical of you, “Did you think about dinner? Cause I want dinner”. “Yes, let’s go!” you agree putting your shoes on.

As you sit next to your friend, you look behind you and see Draco sitting behind you at the Slytherin table. “Pssst” you whisper, his head snapped back to look at you. “What?” he whispered back. “We need to talk after dinner!” you raised your voice a little. “Why?” he raised his eyebrows. “Hey, Draco! What are you doing talking to a Huffle-punk” one of his friend sneered. “Shut up before I make you” Draco turned his head around and his voice became deeper and angry. His friend pressed his lips together and continued picking at his plate. “Why?” he repeated as he turned his torso to face you. “You’ll find out if you come with me” you smile. He frowns, upset that he has to wait to know.

He walks out the Great Hall with you, “Where are we going?” he asked. “The corridor, no one's ever there” you say, leading him. As you close the door behind you, you look Draco in the eyes and take a deep breath. “I know what you said last night”. Draco scoffed, “Really? What was that?” he crossed his arms. “You called me pretty!” you exclaimed. Draco’s face turned pink, “Uh, no I didn’t” his voice was shaky. “Draco, your reaction just admitted to me that you did” you look at him, “that's why you left earlier today right?” you say. 

You can see Draco becoming shyer, he shook his head. “Stop lying, or..or.. I’ll do this!” you grab his face and stand on your toes and kiss him. You pull away and see an even pinker Draco, with your lipstick tinting his lips. “I, uh, yes, sorry, I” he was stumbling over his word as he spoke. You tapped his cheeks softly, “Draco!”. “Right, yes, sorry for lying. I did in fact call you pretty, but I wouldn’t have lied had I known you’d kiss me” he smiled and scratched the back of his head. “I know we haven’t known each other very along but… I feel like you care… you know? Like care about me.” he said softly. You grabbed his hand, “I’m glad you feel that way, I do care about you and I know you care about me, you’ve proved it by defending me.” you smiled and looked down to hide your flushed face. He smiled, “I do” he gently pushed your chin up to look at him. He kissed you and you rested your arms on his shoulders. You pulled away and just stared into his eyes, “We should probably leave” you state and Draco nods and you both walk out the door.

“What will people think when they realize I’ve gone soft for you?” Draco looks at you. “Probably blame you for losing the last game” you chuckle. “I’m serious, y/n. I don’t want people to think I’m weak.” he said. “They won’t, you’ve protected me. If anything, they’ll be even more scared to mess with you or me” Draco smiled at your response, “Yeah! You’re always right, y/n” he said as he held your hand. You walk towards the Hufflepuff dorms, the few people in the halls gave you two looks but Draco gave them a mean glare. 

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow?” you suggest. “I can’t wait,” Draco started going in for a kiss, “No, Mr. Malfoy.” Snape said, walking out of his classroom with a stack of papers. “Way to kill the mood” you say a little annoyed. “Bye sweetheart” he said letting go of your hands as he headed toward the Slytherin rooms. You tap the barrel 5 times and walk into the common room. You run towards your room, squealing, which got some strange looks from the people who were in the common room. “LILI” you exclaim as you burst through the door. “Y/N” she says with the same intensity as you. She was writing a paper and you jumped on the bed. “y/n, you almost made me spill all the ink!” she says placing her school supplies on her nightstand. “I’m sorry but I just have to tell someone!” you say. “Alright, what is it?” she asked. “Draco and I kissed!” her jaw dropped. “No!” she said. “Yes!” you jumped up and hugged her. “I knew you liked him!” she pushed you off her because you were hugging her for so long. “Like, present tense” you correct her and she rolls her eyes. “Well, I’m happy for you both. You’ll be good for him” she smiled at you. “Now, let me work” her smile disappeared as she continued writing her paper. 

You rushed to breakfast that Monday morning, waking up before your roommate to get ready. You took longer than her to get ready, she was naturally pretty and could literally walk out the door in her pajamas and look good. When you both got to breakfast you kept staring at Draco. “y/n!” a friend snapped her fingers in your face. “Yeah, yeah”  you say, moving your eyes off of Draco to your friend. “What’s up with you this morning? You seem a bit distracted” she asks. “It’s because her and Draco kissed last night” your roommate answers for you. “No way!” “Get it, y/n” “Nice!” the people around you commented. “DRACO? DRACO MALFOY?” one of them yelled from a few seats done, everyone glared at him, including the Slytherins within hearing range, which meant Draco heard. 

Draco looked at the boy who yelled his name and stood up to confront it. “Yes?” he said placing his hands onto the table and bending slightly to be at eye-level. “What could you possibly want, you mu– must be stupid” Draco stopped himself from saying “mudblood” to the poor boy. At this point the entire cafeteria was staring at the encounter. “No.. I was just going to ask.. Is it true?” the boy asked scared he’d say the wrong thing. Draco raised his eyebrows, “Is what true?” he questioned. “That..that..that” he stuttered. “Out with it already!” Draco demanded. “IS IT TRUE THAT YOU’RE DATING Y/N?” the boy yelled, shutting his eyes, scared of Draco's reaction. The people listening in began whispering among themselves. Draco sighed as he looked at you, he took a deep breath and stood up tall, “Why yes, I am. I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” he replied and walked away. Everyone continued talking about, his friends at his table were either giggling or staring at him in confusion. 

You walked by Draco’s side as you both walked to Care for Magical creatures. “I’m proud of you” you say to him. “For what?” he asks. “You didn't call him a.. mudblood” you whispered the last word so no one would hear. “Oh, that. Yes, I’m trying to watch my language for you” he responds nonchalantly. “Aww” you coo. You stood next to him once you got to class, you held hands. “This ‘ere is a fire crab” Hagrid held the creature in his hands showing around to the class. “Isn’t she a beaut?” he asked the class. Draco shook his head and you giggled. “These babies are endangered, meaning there aren’t many of them out ‘ere.” he informed the class, and the class gave disappointed ‘aws’ when he shared that information. “Their shells are highly valuable, which means people care more about the money than protecting this wonderful species” he said holding the crab up. 

“Alright, she is kind of cute” you whispered to Draco. “A little” he agreed. 2 girls in front of you turned around, annoyed that your conversation was distracting them. They didn’t expect for Draco to be there and give them a scowl. They quickly turned around and focused their attention on Hagrid. “Not to worry, I got another female and 2 males, they’ll make babies!” he said, excited. 

Class was over and you walked with Draco to your next class, he had a free period and wanted to spend all his time with you. “You’re taking Muggle Studies?!” he asks, confused. “Yes, I find their world so fascinating” you tell him. He scoffs, “What could be so great in the Muggle world?”. “They have things called smart phones and it can do all sorts of things! Like send a message to someone else’s in a second! Without being close!” you exclaim. “Psh, we can use owls for that!” he says. “Yeah, but it’d be nice to talk to you after curfew.” you tell him as you're standing outside of the classroom. 

“Do you think Professor Burbage would mind if I sat in for a lesson” he asks. “Of course not! Yay!” you clap and pull him into the classroom. “Today, we’ll be discussing how muggles travel the world!” Professor Burbage spins the globe on her desk. You begin writing notes, ‘Muggle Travel’. Draco looks over your shoulder confused but doesn’t comment as he doesn’t want to bring attention to himself in a class he wasn’t even supposed to be in. Plus, he thought you looked pretty when you were focused. “Now, people can travel by cars but it can take hours, even days to arrive at their destination!” the class gasps. “But, they use planes too!” she continues. “Planes look like this,” she shows a model airplane. “They’re huge! And people fly from one place to another much quicker this way!” you scribble down your notes. Draco lays back into his seat, actually interested by the new information. “Professor, why would they use their cars and not the plane?” you ask after she acknowledges your raised hand. 

“Well, my sweet child, muggles also use money and have jobs that pay better than others. Some families just can’t afford to pay for a plane for multiple tickets and driving a car costs less” you write that down but raise your non dominant hand to continue your question. “Yes, y/l/n?” “How much does a car cost?” you look up from writing. “Cars can cost a lot of money, you have to buy a car which can either be cheap or expensive, and if you buy a cheap care you’ll have to fix the car which would cause you to spend more money and then in order to drive the car you have to put a thing called ‘gas’ inside of it” she displays her figure car and a ‘gas station’ and shows the class how it works.  

“Muggles are weird,” Draco says as you leave the class. “You’re weird” you tease him. “However, I can see how you find them interesting,” he says disregarding your remark. “Ooo, do you think you’ll enroll,” you nudge him. “I would but I’d be too far behind,” he responds. “I can help you get caught up!” you offer. “Seriously? Alright, I’ll get it added to my schedule.” he shrugs. “I’ll see you after dinner!” 

“Okay, okay, we can start studying, I don’t want anyone to see what we’re studying, can we go into corridor?” he asks. “Fine,” you groan. He grins because you agreed to it. “Okay, first chapter, why do we hide the existence of magic?” You read aloud. You and Draco go over the chapter, “so, every time anyone sees it, we just use obliviate?” he asks, you nod. “Yes, that's how we're still a secret, obviously wizards have messed up in the past and exposed magic but they’ve controlled the problem” you say closing the book. “Okay, 1 chapter down, 3 more to go, woo-hoo!” you cheer. “We still have 30 minutes until curfew..” Draco states. “We could stay in here, together?” he suggests. “Yeah! I’d love that, love,” you say, reaching out to hold his hand. 

You both scoot closer to each other, and start kissing, “I love your lips y/n” he pulls away to tell you but quickly returns to kissing you. He begins kissing your neck, you raise your head so he could kiss you everywhere. “I love your kisses Draco” you say with your fingers intertwined in his hair. 

He lifts you up from your seat onto his lap. He kisses your neck from behind, you giggle and squirm because it tickles. He rubs his hand up and down your arms, “you’re so beautiful y/n” he whispers in your ear, “and when you wear your skirts, it just makes it hard to resist,” he whispers. “Resist from what?” you whisper back. “Resist from kissing you and touching you everywhere” he answers. “Then stop resisting” you say getting up and sitting in his lap facing hip. He grabs your face and kisses you roughly, he kisses your neck and begins working on giving you a love bite. “You need a mark on your neck so everyone knows that you’re mine” you simply let out a small moan. “Say it, say that you’re mine!” he says as his hands slide under and he squeezes you ass. “Yes! Oh, yes, I’m all yours” you throw your head back enjoying how he’s rubbing his hand up and down your thighs. “Good girl” he calls you. That name made your pussy start getting wet, and you could feel how hard he was. 

He tugs at your top, beginning to unbutton it. He unclasps your bra and begins kissing your breast. You run your fingers through his hair as you grind against his crotch. “Fuck, don’t tease me baby girl” he says. “It’s yours if you want it, Draco” you tell him. “Please, call me sir,” he asks. “Mmm, yes sir” you respond. “Get up”  he commands you. He pulls his pants and briefs down, his hard cock quickly rose and smacked his stomach. 

“Have you ever given a blowjob?” he asks. You shake your head no, “Well, here’s your chance, kneel in front of me, baby girl” you do as you're told and put your hand around his thick cock. It’s pulsing, you put your mouth on the head and moans, “Fuck yes” he moans out as he watches you. You put it further in your mouth, “Oo, careful with your teeth, sweetie” he asks. You continue going deeper, until it hits the back of your throat. There was still another two inches that never made it in your mouth, “Is it okay if I’m rough with you?” he whispers and you nod with his cock still in your mouth. He grabs your hair and pulls in and out of your mouth, going deeper than you thought it could. You push against his thighs after two minutes, he pulls out and wipes the tears off your face. “You look so beautiful getting face fucked by me, princess.” he smiles down at you and you smile back with your mascara smudged everywhere. “Thank you… sir” he kisses the top off your head. “Want to be a good girl and take those panties off for me?” you nod and take them off you tug at your skirt but Draco grabs your hand, “Leave it” he says, “get on my lap, baby girl” he spreads his legs. You get on top and his cock is against his stomach, “You tell me if you want me to stop, okay?” he whispers and you nod in agreement. “Raise up a little baby” you hover over his lap as he grabs his cock to put into your entrance. His tip was ready to enter, he looks into your eyes, “Sit down on it” he tells you and you slowly slide down. It hurts at first but your pussy was so wet it lubricated it. “Fuuuck, you’re so tight” he groans. You whimper when he's completely inside of you. “What’s wrong sweetie?” he pauses to ask. “Nothing, you’re just so big” he smirks, “fuck me” you tell him. He wraps his hand around your neck, “I tell you what to do, not the other way around, got it?” you nod at him. “Good, now, just feel my cock inside of you for a minute, do you like how it feels?” you nod. 

He puts his hand in front of your vagina, he only put his thumb through your lips and he began to rub your clit. You moan loudly, he stuffs your mouth with your panties, “Quiet or someone will hear us” you nod and he takes the panties out of your mouth. He continues rubbing your clit and you bury your face into his shoulder to muffle your moans. He stops rubbing, you sit up and take a deep breath. “Oh my God” you say out of breath. He sucks the thumb that he used to get you off, “you taste so good princess, if we had more time I’d eat you out, but that’s for another day. We only have 10 minutes so I’m going to fuck you hard, okay?” you nod. He stands up, carrying you with him. He pushes you against the wall and pounds against you, you moan loudly. He takes his tie and stuffs it in your mouth, he continues fucking you, “You’re so wet, all for me” you nod and look at him. “Fuck yes, look at me while I fuck you” he grabs your neck and chokes you, you smack his hand and shake your head. He stops choking you and just keeps his hand wrapped around your neck. 

Your legs start shaking and he notices, he makes space to put his hand in between you two and begins rubbing your clit again. Your legs were wrapped around his waist but you wrapped them tighter. “Do you like it baby girl? Tell me if you do, don’t be shy” he rubs faster, “Yes, I do,” you moan, throwing your head back against the wall. “Yes what?” he says aggressively. “Yes, sir” you start panting “I’m gonna cum! I’m gonna cum!” you say at a higher volume. “Cum on my cock, baby, cum!” he encourages. You cum all over him, “fuck, you’re so fucking hot I’m going to cum” he thrusts deep and stays there, “I’m cumming” he moans into your ear.

He puts you down, you spit the tie into his hand, you’re both sweating. He licks the cuffs of his shirt and wipes the smudged mascara. He helps you put your panties and bra back on. He pulls his pants up as you button your shirt. “We should go now,” he says, taking your hand. You walk with him, your legs sore from him. “I’m skipping flying class tomorrow,” you tell Draco. He laughs, I’ll skip with you if that’s alright?” you nod.

“Goodnight sweetie, clean up and get some rest” he kisses the top of your head, “you too babe” you say as you split ways. You try to walk normally past everyone, you look down to hide any left over makeup. You walk into your dorm and Lili looks up at you, “Oh, hey!” she waves. “Ohhh, heyyyy” she says when she looks at your messed up hair, smudged mascara and how you walk. Your face turns pink and you go clean up in the bathroom. Goddamn Draco, that was good.

[idkhyuck]

24 Days of  Christmas with NCT

IDK IF IM EVER NOT IN MY CHENLE FEELS THESE DAYS. So this is a little self indulgent 

DAY 2 - ZHONG CHENLE 

Chenle and Y/N cook a meal at his place for the first time and decorate his place for christmas. 

warnings// like one swear, playful arguing. 

I rang the doorbell my nerves distracting my from the pain of carrying all the groceries over on the bus. the door opened a second later to Chenle’s smiling face, his cheeks were rosy like he was running around him flinching slightly as there was the sound of something falling in the closet beside the door. i pretended not to hear it as i walked in.

“hi.” he said smiling shyly at me

“hey.” i said “i hope i got everything.” I said holding the bag up.

“OH!” he said grabbing it from me “Thanks!” He said running off into the kitchen. “i’ve already started some of the stuff.” he said distantly

“Some? how much are we eating?” i asked him i said shedding my coat and shoes onto the bench just before the kitchen.

“just enough for us. Jisung wants leftovers though.” He said sheepishly

“is he joining us, we could use the help decorating the tree?” i asked. We were going to put Christmas decorations up tonight as well.

“no, i told him i’d bring them to practice tomorrow.” he said stirring at the pot on the stove. I sat down to catch my breath, the wind was picking up the whole way here, it was really getting cold these days, i was certain we'd wake up to snow any day now. I took in the sight before me, Lele in his huge oversized sweatshirt, and joggers, his socks mismatched in his slippers. a dish towel hung over his shoulder. His hair standing up in different places in the back but you can tell he tried to tame it. I smiled at him he turned and caught me

“What?” he said

“you are the absolute cutest.” i said walking over to him. I wrapped my arms around him sticking my cold hands up under the front his sweatshirt. he squealed

“You’re hands will warm up if you start chopping” he said holding a bag of veggies to the opening of his sweatshirt. I kissed the back of his neck and grabbed them from him. He turned in my grip and wrapped his arms around me. placing soft kisses on the top of my head. i slowly looked up and he met my lips with a smile, a few small kisses. i sighed then pulled away

“i’d better get to work.” I said “Where’s the knifes?” i asked him as he quickly returned to his pot adding things slowly

“over there.” he said pointing his chopsticks to the drawer by the fridge. I opened it to see it was completely unorganized i couldn’t help the small smile that formed. I found a knife that would work for all my veggies and went over to the cutting board beside the stove. He was opening the meat and adding it to the soup base he has made. I got to work chopping hearing him singing softly beside me. It wasn’t long before i had quite a few piles of vegetables to add to our stew. I turned to show Chenle proudly but he wasn’t beside me i could hear him giggle behind me “is my baby done?” He asked in a teasing tone knowing i was trying to be cute. i nodded keeping the act up. he came over and looked over the piles praising them. Placing a kiss on my hand “Poor baby hand must be tired.” He said teasing. I shoved him. all nerves i had of being over at chenle’s house for the first time gone. His kitchen was small and cosy. He had fruit sitting in various spots on the counter, take out menus sitting in a pile on top of the fridge that had three magnets one held a picture of him and his mom and dad and brother. A picture of his nephew and a polaroid of us. His table and chairs were simple and so him it made me smile thinking of all the work he put into his place. I went and sat down as he put something in the oven. I watched as he added the final things to the stew. He came over and sat across from me "will you still be able to put up the tree? he teased

“You gonna give me a tour first?” i asked knowing we had some time. He smiled at me and nodded.

“this is the kitchen.” he said smiling “i didn’t decorate much.” he said quietly “But i like it.” He got up and grabbed my hand he led me into the living room. “This is my living room, I have my TV and Games all set up here. he said pointing to his entertainment console. My couch.” He said “which we can enjoy after we eat.” He said “it’s soft, i made sure of it.” he winked. "the tree can go here." he said as we walked by the window,  he led me down his hall “The bathroom.” he said “boring, i just added towels and i didn’t even buy them, my mom did.” he laughed “This is the bedroom.” he said he opened the door and his piano was in the corner by the window he had sheets of music spread across the top. His double bed was half made, his bag for practice each day sitting on the floor by the piano. He had a TV mounted on the wall and a chair in the corner with a pile of hoodies and jackets on it. His bedside stand had a few bottles of water and a remote and a Bluetooth speaker and a pile of AirPods. he didn’t have much but it was so him it wasn’t even funny. He was a simple kid. "we decorating the piano?" i asked "maybe." he said "i'm worried i didn't buy enough." He said  walking towards his closet, he pulled a huge box out "tree." then went back for two bags "everything else. OH AND LIGHTS!" he said running back down his hall, i heard a crash and him swearing then a door slamming. i walked out to see him standing by the closet in the door way. "i have like 5 boxes. is that enough?" he asked "should be." i said walking into the kitchen "don't worry." i said stirring his soup "this smells amazing." i said sniffing at all the things we had cooking,  i could hear him dragging the box down the hall, tiny grunts and thuds coming down the hall getting louder as he neared the kitchen "need some help?" "nope." he said "i'm good." struggle in his voice evident. his dramatic ass flopping on a kitchen chair a few seconds later. "why did you drag it all the way there in the first place?" i asked him "i wanted to surprise you." he said smiling sweetly at me.

"i'm so full i could puke." he said a burp escaping him "Let's go watch something before we decorate." i said standing up and placing the dishes in the sink. "i'll do these before i leave." i said knowing he hates doing dishes we walked into the living room and sunk into his couch, i sat on the end he sat right beside me and took my legs onto his lap. He skimmed through his TV asking me what i wanted to watch we decided on watching the grinch. he was having fun doing a grinch voice he leaned over so he was laying me while hugging my legs, i played with his hair. we enjoyed the moment of laziness together.

"IT GOES HERE!" i yelled at him from the other side of the three "NO WAY, ITS FROM THIS SIDE." He yelled back "Give it to me!" i said "let me try it!" he whined "fine." i said sighing he tried to fit it in for at least 5 minutes before coming around to my side admitting his defeat i tried to hide my smirk as he handed it to me before grumbling off to get another section. It took us an hour and a half to fully set up the tree and have all the lights plugged into the right places, maybe it'd be less if we didn't argue half the time but it was finished. i was placing a ball on the tree when he tackled me over to his couch, He placed a few kisses on my cheeks and lips leaning over my softly "WHAT?" i asked him pretending to be annoyed at this point "you're too cute when your bossy." he said kissing my jawline and getting closer and closer to my neck i started leaning back to let him but he left a raspberry on my cheek then he giggled and started tickling me. i screamed in laughter as he held me down and went to town tickling my sides. i ultimately shoved him off and he landed with a thud beside me "yah!" he yelled but ended up laughing as he pulled a squished box of lights from underneath him i got up and pulled him up and pulled him in for a hug. "they're still good." he said giggling as he pulled the lights out of the box behind me. we spent the rest of the night decorating his living room there were lights all around. He stood back and admired the work we had done. i saw we had a few pieces of garland left, and a box a lights "piano?" i asked him "fine." he said and i ran down the hall with the decorations he sat on the bench as i sat on his bed ripping open the packaging. I wound the lights around the garland and tested the lights. He was softly playing all the Christmas songs he knew as i got to work lightly taping it to his piano and winding them around his candles. "see this will be so much better now." i said sitting beside him placing a kiss on his cheek as he transitioned from jingle bells to another song. the rest of our night was spent at his piano, with wine and candles lit in the glow of the lights.

[dartiri11]

The broken Kokiri

(Linked Universe pt3)

It was late. So the nine heros decided to make a camp and stay there for the night. A guy with a wooly black thing around his neck and black marks in his face went deeper into the woods. Beside him was a short man with a colorful tunic.

The others took down their bags and weapons and put them onto the ground. Horror Kid was watching them all the time. It was very interesting. He had never seen humans since he returned into his woods to show them to his Fairyfriends.

"Sky, why do we have to babysit your little...seriously. What is this? Its scaring like its watching us all the time." The man with the pink hair, Legine or somehow, said annoyed. What was his name? Something with L he thought.

"Its a Horror Kid, i think. And its friendly. Just look at it. I think its quite cute with its Fairies hiding behind it." The nice man, Sky, was right. Horror Kid feld his friends tremble behind him.

"To be honest, i think Legend's right. It looks eeevil!" The man with the blue thing around his neck said standing behind Legend and gave a mistrusting look to Horror Kid. Legend in front of him just nodded.

Then he also started to talking to Sky again. "Well if it kills you during you are asleep, i will laugh. And if it robs all our stuff, i will kill you and laugh either." He said with a cold look to Sky. "And if that happens, i wont be the only one who kills you and your Horror Pet."

The two men, which had gone into the forest before, came back with wood. "Its about time you two come back, Twilight." A man with quite long hair and a blue tunic said.

"Well then. The next time youre the one who collects firewood." The guy with the black markings, Twilight, said and dropped the wood he was carrying right in front of the long haired guys shoes. The short man next to him did the same and walked away without saying a word.

The man with the long hair grumbling picked it up and started to pile the wood to a small Pyramid. He took a small branch and started to rotate it fast on a other peace of wood. Horror Kid couldnt exectly see, what he was doing there.

Sky was still arguing with Legend and the blue scarf man.

Then two other man came towarts to him. They were shorter than Sky but taller than the guy with the colorful tunic. The one had a blue tunic like the long hair guy and blond hair. The other had a bit darker hair and a green tunic. They came closer and the blue boy started speaking to him. "Hey, my name is Wind, and thats Hyrule." He pointed at the green boy, which friendly smiled to him. "Whats your name?"

"My name is Horror Kid. And theese are my friends. Tael und Taya." He anwered with a laugh too. "They are shy. But i cant understand why they are afraid of you. You are all so nice! Except this guy over there and the guy behind him." He looked at Legend and the other man.

Wind and Hyrule looked at them as well and started laughing. "Yeah, Legend is a real grumpy guy sometimes." Hyrule said and Wind was still laughing. When he stoped laughing too he held his hand in front of him. "Nice to meet you Horror Kid."

He didnt knew what that means and stared at Winds hand. Then he looked at his own hand and reached for Winds.

But Taya was faster. The bright glowing Fairy suddenly appeared in front of him and shouting at Wind. "Stay away of him! Dont hurt my brothers! Or i will hurt you!" Wind took his hand away very fast and now it was quiet.

Now everyone looked at him and all he heared now was a soft crackle of a campfire. Until Wind broke the silence.

"Hyrule? You speak Fae right? What did it say?" He carefully asked his friend next to him.

"Hmm it speaks a difficult dialect but i think it wanted something with her brothers." He said thinking. But Hyrule was interrupted.

"It said 'Stay away of him. Dont hurt my brothers or i will hurt you.'" Horror Kid flinched when suddenly a tall man stood next to him. It was the man with the strange scary facemarks. Without armour. The man looked nice but scary at the same time.

"Hey Time, i didnt knew you can speak Fae. When did you learn that?" Wind said with a smile.

The facemarked man, Time, laughed. "Well thats another story. Maybe i can tell you someday." Horror Kid noticed that Taya was staring at Time since he exactly translated her threat.

"Hey! Dinner is finished!" The man with the long hair called the others and all of them went towarts the campfire. Except Time. He was still standing next to Horror Kid. "What are you waiting for? Wild has cooked enough for you and your Fairies too."

He was allowed to join? He only was really accepted by the Kokiri several time ago. Yeah, the Kokiri... He had never really seen them again since one of them left. This one Kokiri and another Kokiri girl was his first really best friends.

They were often playing in the woods. Hide and seek or making music together. But at one morning his friend was another person. He was more sad and crying than happy like he usually was. He didnt even knew what happened with his friend. Instead of making music of the woods together he often played other songs Horror Kid had never heared before. Often more sad songs. Once he carved a picture of a little Fairy into the bark of a tree. He was a Kokiri without a Fairy but that never really disturbed him, but at this time, he seemed like he missed something. Then one day, the broken Kokiri left the woods and never came back...

The only memory Horror Kid had left from his friend was like a treasure for him. He always took it with him.

He stared at Time who was just nodding. Then he went to the campfire and the long haired man gave him a bowl. It was filled with something that smelled delicious. And it tasted wonderful! They all were sitting around the campfire and telling stories and jokes. Horror Kid was just listening to them and his Fairies were siting on the edge of the bowl in his hands. While her brother was eating a bit of the soup Taya was staring away all the time. She was staring at Time. Still.

Then Sky talked to Horror Kid. "Ok you know im Sky right? And theese are all my friends. You should know a few of them by now. They are Wild," he looked at the man with the long hair. "Four," He now pointed onto the small hero with the colorful tunic. "Legend and Warriors," the grumpy and the scarf guy. "Hyrule and Wind," he pointed at the nice boys in blue and green before. "And Time and Twilight." He already knew Time and the man with the black marks on his forehead must be Twilight.

"Its nice to meet you all! A few of you even remind me of an old friend. I dont know where he is but someday i will see him again." When he said this words, he thought of his friend gift and pulled it out of his hat. It was a mask. A scary one but he liked it. It was a skull mask. This mask was the beginning of his love for masks. He almost colected them. Until he found a real scary one. A real nightmare.

"Hey whats this? A mask? Cool!" Wind said when he saw it. Not like Time. He saw the mask and seemed almost a bit sad. But then he smiled either.

"Yes, its the only thing i have left from my friend. This mask and a few cool songs on my flute."

He put on his mask and pulled out his flute. Then he started to play a happy song. Horror Kid then even started to dance. He danced and played music like he would do at home or with the Kokiri. Sky even pulled out his harp and tried to play the song too. Later even Time took out an instrument and joined them.

When Horror Kid heared Times playing, he felt like home with Link and Saria.

[boogiewrites]

Choking On Sapphires 61

Title & Song: Maybe I’m Amazed

Characters: Alfie Solomons x Genevieve (OFC)

Word Count: 4800+

Summary: Alfie and Genevieve enjoy their time alone together in Paris/ They finally have time to talk about the big questions in their future. Alfie learns  something new about Genevieve and he couldn’t possibly be more in love with her for it. 

Warnings/Tags: Language. FLUFF. The Louvre. Almost getting arrested. Talk of babies and marriage. Gen crying over paintings. A piece of Gen’s past is revealed to Alfie. 

**Chapter song is Maybe I’m Amazed by Paul McCartney**

Click on my icon then go to Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. (Had to do this since Tumblr killed links, sorry.)

You have lunch at a cafe, sitting in the afternoon sun at your small table with the elaborate backed chairs. You make whispered speculations about the other patrons, sitting with your faces close together, hands held together in plain sight on the top of the table. You share coffee and bread before full courses of soup, fish and vegetables and a cheese plate. Proving again that he knows you, he orders you dessert.

"And Babas au Rhum for the missus," he says, hand motioning out to you. As you lower your face and cover it with your hand and silently laugh. "What is it Genny, you don't want to play me wife now?" he chuckles, taking a sip of coffee.

"A girl tries to have a little fun and gets caught and has to pay the price."

"That'll teach ya not to get caught." he snickers.

"That..." you sigh and shake your head, resting on the table with your elbows. "That's entirely valid." you start to laugh, running your fingers through your hair. "It's been so long since I've made up a life I suppose I've gotten rusty. " you say with a thoughtful pout.

"At least nothing was at stake. And it's just me that caught ya."

"That'd be death for any ordinary man."

"Well you are no ordinary man are ya love? Even in trousers." he says playfully wiggling his eyebrows.

"I like to think not." you grin.

"How long have we been married, by the way, just so I know." he says with a quick nod of his head at your expense.

"Almost four months."

"Ah. Still new. How romantic of you, Gen." he grins. "And where was our honeymoon if not Paris?"

"New York." you admit, looking down at the table.

"Ah yes, plenty of Jews there innit there? Were we vistin' family as well?"

"No. I didn't go that far." your face is back to easy going and you don't mind sharing the fantasy with him really. He was being a big tease about it, but you he wasn't making you feel bad about it, and that certainly meant something good didn't it?

"And what about the wedding? What was it like? Did you take me for every pound I've got? " he says sweetly, picking away at his beard.

"Of course I did," you say obviously with a playful tilt of your head. "Why do you want to know?" you ask with narrowed eyes. "You're asking an awful lot of questions for someone making fun of the fantasy."

"I ain't makin' fun and it's not entirely a fantasy now is it, love?" you feel the hairs prickle up on the back of your neck. You see his casual delivery, the confident pout of his lips as he explained. "Fantasy is usually something extravagant, something out of reach. Or something you'd never want but only enjoy the idea of." he goes on with that Alfie Solomons tongue twisting. Sharing his knowledge as if it were a gift. "Marriage and a wedding aren't things I would describe as such. So it ain't a fantasy innit?"

You study his face for a moment, as unreadable as ever, and you knew it was on purpose. He was trying to feel you out, wasn't he? "More of an artist's imagining?"

"And you must draw inspiration from somewhere. So certainly it's something you could share with me, of all people."

"I could." you pause, now trying to remain stoic as well, trying to figure out the reasoning behind those blue eyes of his. "If you'd like me to."

"Of course I bloody do, wouldn't have asked, would I?" he says obviously.

"There were lots of flowers." you say with a softer tone, looking out across the street to a flower shop.

"So this wasn't fantasy at all. You'd love a chuppah dripping in flowers wouldn't you love?" he says watching your face glaze over into the daydream again.

"I suppose I would. I hadn't thought about it up until now." you shake your head and the corner of your mouth turns up. "And that was precisely what I described. Lilacs and lavender falling down like cherry blossoms in the spring. A dress so big and a train so long there weren't enough children in the family to carry it." you begin to grin again, breaking the dazed thousand-yard stare and looking back to the table. "Perhaps not actually that big for real life though." you let out a little giggle and meet his eyes for just a moment.

"Well that's a relief." he says with a laugh and raise of his brows.

"It is?" you ask with a tilt of your head.

"It'd be a shame to not be able to get close to you on the day of after waiting so long." he says matter of factly before meeting your cautious gaze.

You share a moment of silence, you find the others face to be softer than expected. You'd never talked about marriage before with Alfie. It should seem a natural thing to do, given the delayed circumstances of your courtship. You knew only a few people that had waited a year before getting engaged. Although you were still learning about the rules of Judaism, you knew from distant memories of childhood that the process was far different from the usual traditions you were more familiar with, growing up with a Catholic father.

He sees that look in your eyes, although it was rare, he still knew it to be fear. "Is marriage still only a fantasy to you, Genevieve?" his voice was cool and calm. "I recall the last I had heard you didn't want to be married."

"I never said that," you say with blinking eyes and a hesitant tone. "I had spoken from the point of view of assuming I would never find anyone worth marrying." you clarify, a blush rising to your cheeks.

"Ah," he says, a slow nod, reading your nervous body language. He didn't want to push you too far, but surely he was reading the signs clearly. "Like your belief of romance to be dead?" he suggests.

"Yes, like that." you hold his stare, willing yourself to face this conversation. You wanted to get closer to him in Paris. This hadn't been what you'd meant by that though. You should tell him you love him first, shouldn't you? And you most certainly did. You never wanted to be without him, that meant you should marry him, right?

"And I believe you've told me you had changed your feelings on that particular subject, yeah?"

"A particular someone has changed my mind on that yes." you give him a slow-growing smile, looking back down and the table, willing yourself to face the fear you'd held for so long when it came to love and commitment. You reach out and hold his hand.

"Who is he? I'll kill 'im." he says, leaning in closer to you with a charming smile that always causes you to address the tension you hold in your shoulders and release it.

"Bold of you to assume it's a man." you say with raised brows before you both laugh.

"Entirely different set of problems there, mate." he chuckles and squeezes your hands. "Then if I may be so bold as to believe it was somehow me that changed your mind. And you have in fact changed your mind, yeah?" he nods his chin your way. "Then may I also be confirmed in my belief that you have changed your mind about marriage as well?"

"I was never against marriage with the right person."

"The person who made you believe in the romantic sort of marriage, yeah?"

"Yes. That particular person." you say softly.

You see a new sort of smile come across his face. His boyish handsomeness coming through as he gives you a closed lip smile with slow blinking eyes. He leans forward and kisses you gently.

A plate with raspberries and rum smelled sponge cake is slide onto the table, interrupting the eye contact you'd managed to hold. "Excusez-moi, voici vos babas au rhum." the waitress says with an apologetic smile behind bowing her head and leaving.

"I think we would've had this conversation a lot sooner, had we had time alone like this, pet." he says, moving to take his fork and slice the end of the sweet bread and holding it out towards you.

"So do I."  you say before taking the piece into your mouth. "But we have all the time here in Paris to do so." you say, finishing chewing.

"That we do, my love." he says before trying to cake himself.

"Perhaps if it were made with your bread?" you suggest with a crooked smile. He hums in appreciation for your praise.

"Perhaps." he nods and reaches out with his hand again, assuring you felt that he mean what he was about to say, as in reflection to the weeks you'd been together had led him to feel guilty about the effort he was putting into seeing you. "I'll make a point to mark more time for us once we return to London, eh? Can't very well be a man who neglects his wife now can I?" he grins.

"For my sake, I'd certainly hope not." you say with a gentle smile as you let out a quiet chuckle.

"Here love, let's eat ya sweeties and let's be off to see the paintings. Would that please the missus?" his face continues to be amused and soft and you feel your heart fluttering about in your chest.

"It would please her very much." you say with a giggle before taking another bite of cake off the fork in his hands. --------

You move throughout the long hallways of the museum much like you had the rest the Paris, hand in hand. Alfie is distracted by the expressions that pass over your face as you look over the painting and statues that line the walls. He notices you keep speaking of wishing you could be as good as good as the works that hung in these halls. He believes you to be, and when he keeps correcting you, a light tap to the nose to scold you speaking any ill of your skills each time until you stop. You do cry, and it was expected. He gives you his sleeve, his handkerchief and tenderly wipes your stray years from your cheeks with his fingers as you sigh heavily and rest your head on his arm.

"Oh, look at it Alfie, darling. My love isn't it just heartbreaking?" you'd say, your hand to your chest and your eyes were hundreds of miles away in thought.

You reach a painting that he knows, a hearty chuckle from him as you approach and he points to Carravaggio's, Judith Beheading Holofernes.

"Oh look, Gen it's our epilogue." he says with a gruff single note laugh.

"Come off it mon Fie." you chuckle, with a roll of your eyes.

"What I don't like is that he truly looks like me in 'is one." he says with his bottom lip disappearing under his mustache.

"I won't deny that. But I'd never cut off your head, darling, I'm much too fond of it." you coo at him, lightly cupping his cheek. "But I must admit she has much the same approach as I doesn't she?"

"If you were left a widow you would cut off the offending parties head? Sounds like you love, yeah." he nods and pouts his lips in agreement.

"I meant in the story, the text of "Approaching to his bed, she took hold of the hair of his head." you say with a smirk. "Something I much adore doing with you."

"Naughty thing. Turnin' bible stories into flirtations. Dirty girl." he says with a deep chuckle.

"It's not a part of our works, so who cares." you let out a dismissive laugh. ------

You come across another painting to resemble him, St. Matthew and the Angel by Rembrandt.

"I don't want to draw attention to it but it would seem as if we're very popular in these works." he says quietly with a pointed finger to the painting.

"That would resemble you, were you old and gray." you nod. "But this is St. Matthew he was an apostle."

"Ah. Then perhaps not." he lets out an amused little chuckle. "But it does remind me of us, yeah. Me workin' away and you come fluttering in, perching on me shoulder to remind me of how heavenly things could be."

"Yes if you'd stop working and let me have me way." you say in a prissy way and he snorts in amusement.

"Always the same with ya Genny. Meowing about, rubbing on me and demanding attention like a cat in heat." he teases.

"How rude. A woman can vocalize her need for affection and attention, mon Fie." you giggle. "Although your comparison is almost embarrassingly accurate." you shrug and grin, taking his hand and tugging him away from the painting. -------

The last painting to draw a deep, gut-wrenching emotion from you was, of course, a Leonardo da Vinci. He feels your stuttered inhalation and looks down at you, finding your face solemn while taking in La Scapigliata with wide watery eyes. It wasn't a very large piece, especially in comparison to the ironic giant size of the statue of David or the entire wall-sized paintings of battles and myths you'd come across. Its size was no indication to the way it seemed to move you.

"How is it this one moves you, my love." he asks, kissing your head as you sigh and put an arm around his waist, and he moves to rest his over your shoulders.

"Look at her face." you whisper. Even though the face was the only true part more fully fleshed out in the portrait, he does as he's asked. "How did he imagine or capture such an expression?" your hand rests on your chest as your words barely scrape past your lips in their raspy and emotion filled response.

Alfie could tell this one was hitting you particularly hard. "What do you see, Genevieve?" he asks softly, leaning down to your ear.

"I see a fully expressed inner emotion, depicted outwardly as if caught candidly on her face." you let out a long sigh. "The slightly messy curls falling about, the downward casted soft eyes, the glow that is reflected off her skin. She doesn't care about anything else except that exact moment. That exact feeling she's being consumed by."

"You should describe things to the blind love. Your words are doing the art justice." he whispers, another kiss to your hair as he watches the tears fall from your eyes like he did the night of the opera. Now more certain in his choice to buy you the teardrop earrings for a memento from these days spent together. "What feelin' is it, my beautiful flower?"

"Love." you sigh out, another stuttered inhale past your trembling lips.

He studies the woman's face and truly tries to see in through your beautifully worded depictions. "I wonder what it is she's looking at?" he asks aloud.

"I imagine it to be what looking at your child for the first time must feel like. The exhaustion on her face, only countered with the slightest upturning of her lips, the heavy corners of her eyes crinkled just so, pouring wordless devotion to the new babe in her arms."

Suddenly he's hit with it. He sees what you see for a moment. "That is what it is, innit?" he whispers.  Besides the babe itself, nothing else would matter at that moment except the emotion, and the unfinished state of the painting somehow made it more poignant suddenly to him. "You are bloody brilliant, Genevieve." he rasps out.

You blink rapidly, taken out of your fantasy of feeling the emotions for yourself. Beyond exhaustion, in pain and flooded with emotion,  you lie in bed with a pinked babe to your breast, a vision coming to you as you cry silently. You turn your face with its tear-stained cheeks to meet his. You find his brow furrowed, lips in a tight line of thought as he brushes your cheek and holds the warmth to your face.

"The things I have seen you do, my love. The animal I have known and adored just the same as the tender and gentle soul that resides within you and it all astounds me. Your dual nature gives me hope that being hard and covered in blood isn't all my life may be. To have proof one can access such a broad range of emotions gives me a reason to believe there is more for me even when I am in doubt of it. The capacity for maternal love you hold was something I never expected in you."

"Having a child is a brutal and bloody business for a woman. You risk your life, you face unimaginable pain and gore just the same as coming by it through means of violence, you can come by it by means of love just the same."

"And you know of pain through violence, my love." he nods.

"Intimately."

"Do you wish to know of that pain through love, Genevieve? To bring a life into the world by blood instead of taking one out?" his brow shifts and he searching your face for answers. He holds his breath and he does not mean to. It was clear the art was working away at his emotions as well, forcing life's biggest questions out of him.

You nod and let out a shaky exhale. "I do." you answer simply. You realize the weight that lifted off of you that you hadn't known was there dissipates as you openly admit it to another person. To say it so closely, and to the person you hoped you would be making the life with touches you both. You can both feel it, a heartbeat shared in tandem for a moment as it skips at the thought of creating another heartbeat to share outside yourselves. So many things that seemed out of reach to you both were now attainable things because you'd found each other. You lean in to kiss him, he tastes the salt of your tears on your lips. "Is that something you wish to create as well?" you ask with a weak voice.

"Because of you... with you... yes." the delicate up turning of your lips as he confessed his hidden and never before shared thoughts with you stirs something deep and rooted within in at his core.

A tender and pure kiss, you place on his lips in repayment of the words you had spent so much time wondering if you'd ever hear from him. ----- Emerging from the stone rooms you feel the sun on your skin again as you take a deep breath of fresh air and have a good stretch, leaving the heaviness you felt as the emotions from the art weighed you down. You stand with your hands on your hips, looking about as Alfie adjusts his jacket. You suppose he too was dealing with the heaviness you felt. After all, you'd dealt with both topics of marriage and children today and so boldly and rather fearlessly for you both, the hangover from the intensity you shared when discussing deep topics.

"Excuse me?" you hear from behind you, revealing a policeman standing with his hands behind his back and an unwelcome look on his face.

"Yes?" you ask, straightening your posture, not hiding your distaste for the look he had on his face.

"I'm afraid your attire isn't legal in this city and I'm going to have to be placing you under arrest."

You openly laugh in his face and you feel the heat and power radiating off Alfie despite him being out of his jurisdiction. You hold your hand out behind you to signal him to stop, keeping your eyes on the man in front of you.

"My attire?" you scoff.

"Yes, it is illegal for a woman to wear trousers. It gives way to transvestitism and the law doesn't support that sort of behavior."

"Your city is full of artists, darling, you do nothing but support it!" you laugh with your head back.

"You're under arrest miss for the trousers and the attitude will not be helping your case, come now." he says as he reaches for the metal cuffs.

"I think not." you say with a deeper tone, narrowing your eyes at him.

"I can make a scene miss, or you can come with me as a lady should." he says as you continue to take steps backward as he approaches you.

"There will be a hell of a scene if you try and throw a Lafitte in jail." you say with a stubborn nod your head, your words strong and biting.

The man stops, his head pushing back as he studies you. You knew he would know who your uncle was. And if he wasn't in a precinct that was under his pay, chances are he was one that still feared him and his power.

"So you can leave me the fuck alone or I can call my uncle Altar from jail and have him come down and deal with you." you lean forward, hands on your hips and you stare into the man's uncertain eyes.

"Your uncle?" he says not convinced. "He's not your uncle, who are you? I've never even seen you before." he says with a worse attitude than you had.

"I'm Lilly Lafitte." you say crossing your arms across your chest, standing tall and taking a step towards him. "I've been living in London for years which is why you don't recognize me you pup." you say with a nod of your chin at the young man.

"Lilly?" he says with a face showing clear confusion. "But she disappeared."

"And I've reappeared, dear." you state obviously. "My goy father tried to silence me and now I'm back in the light. You could take your chances but do you really want to risk angering Altar by bothering his favorite niece with something as stupid and pointless as this?" you bark back at him.

You see the thoughts running across the young man's face. You keep your stern face and confident body language. You knew young ones like him wouldn't believe a woman to lie, and you were using that to your advantage.

"I won't arrest you." he says with narrowed eyes. "But may I ask that you change your attire? You're asking for trouble."

"You may ask but I will not respond in kind." you say with a purse of your lips.

He nods and looks you over, an annoyed look on his face as he turns and leaves, mumbling to himself.

"Fuck me, Genevieve," Alfie says gruffly.  "Ya wanna make me think I'm gonna have to raise hands at a fuckin' French copper, love? Jesus." he says with a big roll of his eyes, lips pursed as he wags a finger at you as he speaks. "That was really fuckin' risky trying to pull the Lafitte name like that ya know?" he says with a scolding tone and a stern look on his face.

"What risk?" you ask in an innocent tone. You tilt your head and soften your body language as you take slow steps back to him. "There is no risk." you say with a soft huff of a laugh and a shake of your head.

"They could've taken you anyway and then where would you 'ave been, eh?" he says, leaning in close to your face as you stand only a breath away from him.

"But I wasn't lying." you say with a slow blink of lash up at him in a calm voice.

His chin pushes back into his neck, his brow shooting low just as fast. "You...weren't lyin'?" he clarifies with an angry but not aggressive stare. There's no way, he thinks.

"No." you state plainly, large eyes looking up at him as a smile slowly comes across your face. He really hadn't known. You thought in all the research he might've done that he would've heard of your old alias, the first real criminal work you'd done under the name Lily, the one your uncle gave you. And your uncle happened to be one of the most powerful Jewish men in France, at least when it came to the French mafia. Where had he thought you'd learned all your skills? Perhaps he'd never thought about your origins beyond what you'd shared with him.

"You're...fuckin’ ‘ell..." he blinks rapidly, his brow shifting unevenly, his eyes darting about the street before returning to you with a quick shake of his head, clearly his brain was backfiring at the realization.

"My first criminal alias was Lilly Lafitte." you say in a tone so casual he cannot understand why you are so cool in your delivery of the news. You place a hand on his chest to steady him. It'd been so long since you'd said the name, memories of museum and jewelry heists float about your mind in a warm and happy haze.

"Ya fuckin' wot?!" he says loudly as you laugh quietly at his dumbfounded face. You loved the expression as it was so rare. "You? Standin' there? Fuckin' Lilly Lafitte?" he harshly whispers, trying to get a control on the volume of his voice.

You nod and smile with a mischievous look he's seen before.

"You're a fuckin' legend, mate." he groans out, eyes wide and brow low, studying you to find any fault as if you were lying to him. He'd heard of the young woman, rumored to work with the French gangster Altar Lafitte of the same name, who made her way through Paris stealing art and jewels in the least likely of places and never being caught. He'd thought Lily Lafitte would've been older, as the jobs and their tales would suggest someone of more experience might've done them. But no, he sighs, you've had it in your blood the entire time. Raised under the influence of a man even he looked up to for his business sense. "I used to tell stories 'bout you." he says with a strange feeling of lust coming over him.

"A lot of Jewish boys did." you smirk.

"YOU are Altar fuckin' Lafitte's niece?"  he asks with wild eyes and a crazed smile, scratching his head.

"Yes. He's the uncle I've spoken of on many occasions."

"Fuck me." he groans, shaking his head. "I've been with Lily fuckin' Lafitte." he says with a hard guttural laugh that makes him bend slightly, slapping his own knee. "If only I could've told me younger self about this. Well he wouldn't have fuckin' believed it but he'd like the fantasy I'm certain." he laughs heartily.

"And how does the fantasy live up to the reality love?" you coo.

"No fuckin' comparison, you magnificent creature." he groans and leans in close.  "As always you make my words ring true as you can only be outdone by yourself, eh?" a bright and boyish grin on his face down at you.

You lean in to kiss him. What was meant as a treat for being so damned charming turns into his hands wrapped around you, picking you up slightly off the ground as he grunts into your neck, noisy kisses with his plush lips finding their way across your skin. You giggle and squirm under his touch, his beard tickling away at your ears as he mutters praise and disbelief.

"Would you like to meet him?" you ask with an innocent lilt.

"Meet... meet Altar? The fuckin' Jewish crime lord of Paris? Just fuckin'... meet him?" he says with a wide motion of his hand. "Pop is for tea like it's bloody Shabbat and we don't have a thing else to do?" he amuses himself and laughs.

"Yes, I could call him.  He never minds when I drop by." you say with a shake of your head, once again your casual tone confounds him.

"I'm with a woman who can "drop in" on Altar Lafitte and be welcomed," he says quietly, taking your face into his hands. "What did I ever do to deserve you?" he asks with a sweet and simple kiss, words muttered against your smiling lips. The business opportunity's now open to him scramble around in his brain.

"You're Alfie fucking Solomons. That's what." you say with a doting smile as he growls and wraps you up in his arms, pressing his lips to yours as you kick your feet and wrap your arms around his neck and let out a happy squeal you don't recall ever having made before.

@fangirlfreakingout @jaegeeeeer @cosettewinchester @lookuptheskyisfalling-blog @brianaisasongbird @cry5t4l-w4rri0r @iliveonchocolateandnetflix @jess2464 @hardygal69 @thegarrisonpublichouse @a-flock-of-angry-pigeons @pootle @negansdirtygirl22 @musingsby-night @wtf-is-wrong-with-this @shine-dont-shadow @inkinterrupted @vale0413 @lafayettes-baguettes-1 @sxlomons @aphnxrising @emerald-bijou @elaenom @give-jack-a-lightsaber @anrm1 @ultrablackwidower @tinastarkandco @arrowswithwifi  

[ssironstrange]

Through Sickness and Gross

@im-logically-gay said: Tony has a fever and Stephen makes him some soup :)

I couldn’t get a full chapter of anything out tonight, so have a little ficlet instead!

Call it twisted, but Stephen rather adored a very sick and feverish Tony. He was by far one of the worst possible patients when it came to following doctor’s orders, a never-ending stream of complaints, and twice as dramatic as he was on any given day.

But Stephen loved every second of doting on him and putting former skills to good use. It would be a blatant lie if he were to say he never missed doctoring - it had been his entire life, after all. Tending to a flu-ridden genius wasn’t quite neurosurgery… but it was something, at least.

“Steeebennn…” Tony croaked out a pathetic, stuffy-nosed whine.

A silk ribbon was placed between the pages of the book he currently had his nose buried in, then Stephen set it aside and raised from the armchair. Hard as it was, he tried his best not to grin sheepishly at the man buried under three layers of blankets despite sweating from the heat of the fever. Stephen had argued, but Tony was a stubborn ass even at his worst.

“Let me guess, now you’re hot?”

Tony nodded and tried a feeble attempt of kicking the blankets off.

“Told you.” With an amused sigh, Stephen peeled them back one by one until he was down to the sheet - which was soaked in sweat. Ugh. Now he’d have to change the bedding. Again. Settling onto the edge of the bed beside him, Stephen took the thermometer from the nightstand and rolled it across his forehead from temple to temple.

“It’s come down a couple degrees. Tamiflu must be starting to kick in.” Next, he gently grasped Tony’s wrist and pressed the pads of two fingers against the artery. Looking down at his watch, the beats were counted out in his head, even tracking the bystolic and systolic and calculating the margin of error for him lying down.

“Blood pressure and resting pulse are still higher than I’d like.”

Tony grunted, barely having the strength to do as much as that.

“Did you eat at all today? Before you called?” Stephen already knew the answer to that. Stark was notorious about skipping meals.

Tony confirmed it with a small shake of his head.

“How have you even managed to keep yourself alive?” His mocking was playful and might have earned some witty remark any other day. Today, Tony just grumbled. Stephen leaned over him to place a light kiss to his forehead, hot against his lips and salty from perspiration.

“I want half that bottle of water gone before I get back. I’m going to make some soup - you ought to be able to hold that down.” Said water bottle was scooted towards the edge of the nightstand for easier access before he stood.

As expected, Tony protested with whimpers only a puppy could rival. God, he was so pathetically cute. So weak and helpless. So needy of Stephen’s help. Vaguely he wondered if the rest of the team were at all so pitiful when ill or if Tony was just the dramatic exception.

“Drink and rest. It won’t take me long.

________________________

Half of the ingredients he had to borrow from his own kitchen at the Sanctum, but the soup was quick and easy. Chicken broth with shreds of their leftover grilled chicken from the night before, some diced carrots steamed nice and soft, thin slivers of celery and a dash of parsley and pepper. It was poured into a coffee mug, already figuring he’d probably only manage a few bites. A spoon was grabbed, and back to his boyfriend’s room he went.

Tony managed to actually sit up partially and was finishing off the entire bottle of water instead of the half he’d asked for.

“Look at you, won’t be long until you’re back on your feet and stepping on mine for more dance lessons.” This time, Stephen allowed himself to grin.

“You sug at teaching.” Tony grumbled, eyes heavy with bags raising to the cup in his hands.

“You sug at dancing.” The sorcerer glided down into a graceful sit once more and pushed the warm mug into Tony’s hands. “Eat as much as you can.”

Stark hung his head over the cup, bathing his face in the steam in hopes it might break up the pressure in his sinuses. Somehow his nose was both runny and so stuffed up that he couldn’t even sniffle - a few times he had resorted to actually stuffing tissue into each nostril. Though his face was already flushed with fever, the heat still felt good on it.

“You made this? Didn’d pordal to a store to buy it?”

Stephen wanted to squish his face. Precious can’t-breathe-through-his-nose Tony was too precious.

“Yep. I made it.”

“Good thing I can’d tasde righd now.” Tiredly, barely even visible, he grinned towards Stephen and took a couple of bites that were… tasteless. At least the heat felt good going down his throat and settling into his empty stomach.

Stephen smirked and shook his head. What a world class asshole. One he wouldn’t trade for anyone else in the multiverse. For a moment he left the bed to fetch his book, then returned to circle around to the other side where he sat and scooted in shoulder to shoulder with him. Likely just to get on his nerves, Tony slurped every spoonful as loud as he could and slow as he could. Not quite annoying enough to distract him from his reading, though. Not yet, at least.

“Thangs, Steben.” What was left in the cup he set over on the nightstand that was quickly filling with clutter, then he leaned up against the man, resting his head onto his shoulder. “I lub you.”

“Tony, baby, you have got to stop talking. It’s too adorable and I simply cannot handle it.” Stephen dipped his head down and kissed the top of his head, smiling against the wild mess his hair was. “And, I love you, too.”

Stark began to laugh, but ended up with a coughing fit instead. “Eben if I’m disgusding?”

“Even then.”

“Eben if I god snod on you?”

“I’ve had worse things than a little snot. Residency is hell.”

“Oh, uh, good.”

Stephen paused, raising his head up from his rat’s nest of hair to try and get a good look at him, but he was sort of tucking his face against his arm.

“There’s snot all over my sleeve, isn’t there?”

“Yeeeah…”

Once more his book was shut with a quiet thump and he sighed, but the smile never quite left his lips. Yep, even when he was disgusting and snotting all over him, Stephen loved the idiot genius. Shaking hands worked his buttons undone slowly and with difficulty, but it got done. He shrugged it off and draped it over Tony’s head.

“Might as well use it for a tissue now.”

Tony did just that, blowing his nose as well as he could, wiping it clean, then balled the shirt up and dropped it over the edge of the bed. Stephen just chuckled and wrapped his arm around his boyfriend to pull him in to cuddle against his now bare chest. It had Tony murmur softly and kiss his chest gently.

“Feels like your fever might finally be done. Why don’t you try to get some sleep.” Fingers brushed along his back, hardly even minding the tackiness of his skin as he settled down to partially lie down for him.

“I’m gonna drool.”

Stephen shrugged lightly. “Probably snore, too. Just sleep.”

Tony didn’t have to be told twice - hardly even once as he was already starting to doze off. One of the blankets he had pulled off previously was tugged up over his torso, then another kiss given to Tony’s head. So not to disturb him, Stephen motioned to the book, using a bit of magic to hold it suspended in the air before him. And there he would contently stay for as long as Tony slept.

[hesperocyon-lesbian]

I decide to post some of that story I mentioned before. It’s not exactly at a good stopping point but it’s just where I am. I’m very open to critique. I’m new to writing this genre and I know that there’s a lot I could improve.

The salt burned in the lacerations around my wrists. I’d been bound the the rock since Astraios had coursed the sky, and Eos now marched toward the horizon with grim determination. She marked the hour of my doom. Soon I would be part of this world no longer, but instead a shade in the world below. And what had I done to merit such a demise? Nothing. I simply existed. It was the jealousy of some god that caused my plight. One could count one a single hand the number of problems for which the gods are blameless. My punishment was a case of misinterpreted hyperbole. It all happened one night at a feast. We were loose on unmixed wine. Upon our table there lay injera, with spreads of lentils, beans and chicken. Our guests of honor were Pharaoh Ramesses II of Upper and Lower Egypt and King Piyama-radu of the Hattian Kingdom of Wilusa. My father, Cepheus, had invited them to our court on the coast of Ethiopia in order to secure peace between their nations.

“My dear Cepheus,” Ramesses proclaimed in a swaggering boom of a voice, “not even my own beloved Nefertari can compare to your daughter’s beauty! The way her tightly curled locks are deftly bound behind her head puts all the women of Kemet and Kush to shame!” Declarations like this were in vogue in dimplomatic speech at the time, though very few scribes bothered to write this kind of exchange down. It was simple procedural flattery, and no one needed to see this kind of filler on a peace treaty etched in bronze.

Piyama-Radu chimed in with, “She must get it from you Cassiopeia!” though his words were interrupted by hiccups, “Truly she is more lovely than the Sun Goddess of Arinna herself.”

My mother responded to their praise in jest, “Oh without a doubt, she even outstrips the Nereids!” A chorus of laughter came up from around the table, though I laughed nervously. I’d never relished in the way men praised me. Their eyes would wander and their lips would curl into a smirk that revealed the crude thoughts dancing behind their eyes. Still, it was my role to accept the praise that was afforded to me. My name had practically anticipated the constant adoration. “Andromeda,” they had named me. Protector of men. Such a name imposed expectations upon its owner.

None of us expected what came of my mother’s boast. The gods do not always consider nuance. They are far more likely to fly into a rage at the slightest provocation. That’s what happened to practically every “lover” of Zeus. They leave a trail of bodies in their debaucherous wake. I suppose my mother should have known better than to compare me to Poseidon’s beloved Nereids. Whether or not he even considered them beautiful was irrelevant to him, for they were his possessions, and nothing mortal was permitted to surpass that which he owned. Thus he threw his tantrum. He called upon his creature, Cetus, to raze our coastline. Every day villagers came to us, begging for a way to put an end to the destruction. We had no answer. Yet my father knew. Even when the oracle told him that the only solution was my sacrifice, his face did not move. He knew but must be done but he would not accept it until the gods held the knife to his throat.Yet still for him it was just another dipomatic formality. Instead of a treaty between kings it was a treaty between a mortal and a god. Instead of sealing it with a marriage, he sealed it with a sacrifice. The two were hardly different to him.

So, there I lay, fixed upon the rock. The ropes dug into my wrists and ankles, drawing blood, and the breakers crashed barely a ten yards ahead of me, spraying salt water upon my exposed form. I had pulled my mind out of my body, as much from the humiliation as the fear. I lay bare and helpless as our kingdom watched. A sudden thud snapped me back into the moment. I could feel the vibrations through my body as another blow shook the earth. Minutes passed in that manner, feeling Cetus’ approach but never seeing it. Then finally it crested the horizon. First all I could see was its writhing mass of eyes. Some stood on short stalks like those of a crab, soulless eyes with no color to them. Some oozed on longer tendrils, like those of a snail. Finally, there were those that stood fixed in place, immense compound eyes, like those of a shrimp. All of them fixed their gaze upon me. As it grew closer I saw its mandibles. I would say there were twenty sets, but one could not tell from the way they chittered and interlocked in anticipation. It had a crab’s carapace for its body, but a slimy squid’s mantle hung limply out of the back. It walked upon what looked like crab’s legs, but they were strange and wrong. They didn’t stay stiff when they came down, but bent like cooked asparagus, causing it to bob in seemingly random directions. It had one enormous pincer on its right but a tentacle on its left, with two claws fixed to the end. It stood as tall as a mountain, yet it moved three times as fast as a ship. As it grew even nearer, some of the rocks around me began to shake to pieces, yet sadly mine held. I thought I heard my mother weep, but I must have imagined it, for the stomping drowned out all sound. When it grew so close that I could feel its slaver strike my face, I closed my eyes and prepared myself for my fate.

I expected to be whisked down to the Underworld. I wasn’t sure how it was supposed to feel, but I knew it felt like something. Yet I felt nothing. Not even its spit flying at my face. I opened my eyes. Cetus stood there, still. Too still. Its color was different, its texture smoother. Its shell glistered in the morning sun. It was stone. Its eyes were no longer fixed upon me, but rather upon a point above its head. I tracked up and saw her. The Protector. My protector. A woman, riding a winged horse. She wore a hoplite’s armor, but no helmet sat upon her head. Instead her hair blew free. Yet it did not blow. Rather, it writhed. Dozens of asps hissed and squirmed on her head. She whispered to them and they calmed, pulling back to form a slicked back look. Then she gently clicked, and the horse began to descend in circles. I knew who she was now. The Gorgon. We had heard tales of her, even as far as we lay from the Achaeans. She turned men to stone and despised all life. I shuddered as she came closer. Yet when she pulled out her knife, she used it not to slit my throat but to sever the ropes that held me.

“Im so sorry for what they’ve done to you,” she said in a comforting tone, “I can return you to them if you’d like. I know how some people love their families no matter what. I shook my head. Words stuck in my throat. “Okay, I can help you if you’ll accept. You can come with me and I’ll protect you.” Protect. It was in her name. Medusa, the Protector. From the same word as my name. I nodded. “Alright, first things first let’s get you some clothes.” She pulled a cloak from her riding pack and wrapped it gently around me. I pulled it tight and felt its soft silk embrace me. “Climb on.” She offered me her hand and I accepted, clambering onto her horse. She clicked her tongue again and he took off,beating his wings until we reached the clouds, and then gliding softly. I didn’t look back at the shores of Ethiopia.

We didn’t talk for the rest of our journey through the sky. She knew I wasn’t ready to and she didn’t mind. She understood. Whenever she looked back to check on me I could see in her eyes that she’d endured something far worse. Even if I could have asked, I wouldn’t have. By the time we landed it was nearly nightfall.We alit upon a rocky hill with a cave opening on its side. I hadn’t felt my hunger until that moment, and I began to ask, but before I even had time to speak she said, “I’ll get a fire going and make us some food. I’m sure you’re starving.” I nodded again.

I sat in the cave watching her, her face lit by the fire as she cooked a stew of beans and vegetables with goat’s milk. I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen a face like hers before. It was soft in some of the ways I’d seen in women’s faces before, yet also rough and solid. I could see a good part of the fear behind her name. Even without her gaze of stone, her face still projected control and betrayed no emotion. Yet I could feel the pain she had suffered. This changed when she brought a bowl over to me with a crust of bread to dip in it. I grinned as I began to slurp my soup and pick up the beans using the bread. It wasn’t until I’d finished eating that I looked up and saw that her expression had changed. Now she had a tender smile from cheek to cheek.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t stare,” she said, looking away.

“Please,” I said, “don’t worry. You’ve done so much for me, I don’t mind.” She looked back at my and smiled again, shyly this time. Her cheeks flushed and she looked away once more.

I laughed, “So you’re Medusa? I always heard that you were more monster than woman. So why am I sharing a meal with you instead of frozen in stone?”

“Oh that?” she laughed as well, “that only works on men. I guess the rumors spread because they’re afraid of a woman who can defend herself.” I laughed again, but more so because it was true than because of any humor. It was the same fear of a bold woman that had annihilated so many other women before her. Zeus feared Metis and so he devoured her, as if it weren’t enough that men like him are so often wont to leech a women’s life forces. Kreon executed Antigone because she defied him. It gave me comfort to know that at least Medusa had the power to fend off attackers.

“It’s a gift from Athena,” she continued, “She’s my patron goddess, she’s always looked out for me, and I’ve always honored her.”

“So why did she-”

“I don’t talk about it,” she snapped. Her face turned cold and she turned away, her snakes hissing as she did. I had never seen a woman as powerful as her before, so what could be too much for her? I didn’t really want to know. I wanted to ease her pain, but it was too dangerous, and if it was a subject she’d rather not touch, I’d respect her wishes. She sat off in the back of the cave, stroking her snakes back into place and looking down into her lap. They resisted at first but eventually calmed while I lay myself down upon the floor.

As the fire died down and I closed my eyes, I tried to fall asleep. But every time my eyes shut, an image of Poseidon’s beast flashed before and I jolted. Even with my eyes open, I couldn’t help but shiver. There was a cold breeze flowing into the cave, and my thoughts still dwelled on the helplessness I’d felt just that morning. I was so wrapped up in these thoughts that I didn’t hear her tread gently over to me. I didn’t notice anyhting until she draped over my body the linen blanket she had been carrying. I felt warmed inside, but still I jolted and shivered. She must have seen that I did so, because she began to sing to me. It was a simple verse that I’d heard Achaean merchants sing down at the docks, but never in a voice like hers. The way she spoke was rough and guarded, but now as she sang, her voiced poured out like a nightengale.

“While you live, be radient!

 Don’t worry your sweet soul

 For life is short for all of us

 And time requests its toll.”

The theme was harsh, yet somehow comforting. I may have had a brush with death today, but so must everyone eventually. While I could live I should live to my fullest and be thankful that I was alive. I don’t know when I drifted off, but when I woke up, Medusa was cooking a dish of rabbit and egg, seasoned with herbs she’d found outside. She boiled four eggs, two for each of us, and lay out the poached rabbit meat in strips on the wicker plates. As she cooked she fed a whole raw egg to one of her snakes. It unhinged its jaw and swallowed it whole, hitching its mouth along, inch by inch, until it had gone down its throat.

“Do they need to eat separately from you?” I asked.

“Good morning to you too,” she retorted, not taking her eyes off the iron pot. I supposed I had been a bit rude to lead with that but I couldn’t really help my curiosity. “And no, they don’t need to eat, I just find it helps calm them. Sometimes they seem to forget they’re a part of me.

“So they have minds of their own?”

“Honestly even after all this time I’m not quite sure. They seem to respond to my emotions but I can never control them when I’m keen to.” She fished the eggs out of the pot with a wooden spoon and brought the two plates over, handing me mine and sitting down to eat hers. It was a plain meal but the rabbit was tender, the eggs were just soft enough and everything was enhanced by her presence. She wore a light tan colored man’s chiton and a chlamys cloak over that. Her smoothed her snakes back again and I stared at her longer than I should have. I still couldn’t get over it. I’d never seen a woman like her before. The way she wore men’s clothes, the way she did up her short hair--albeit hair made of snakes. She presented herself like a man, but she was not like any man I had ever seen either. Even men who dressed exactly the same didn’t have the same influence that she had on me now. I was sure it must be her enchantment. That must factor into it somehow.

[laurens-lil-fics]

hi again it’s me! so i was wondering if you could please do a fanfic on a modern au where firefighter!peter quill gets some burn marks on his chest and his stomach and almost all over his body, and the reader is a beautiful (yet very sexy) nurse, who heals peter up, and falls in love with him?

Heckie yes!

Stay with me. Stay with me.

That was the first thing Peter heard that voice say. He could hear the desperation in her voice, maybe it’s what set her words apart from the others. The raw emotion.

This was an off day for Peter, 10 years as a firefighter you think he’d be prepared for just about anything. And yet here he was, blinking in and out of consciousness in the hospital.

How did he know it was a hospital? For starters those ugly fluorescent lights. He saw them in his nightmares, when he’d dream of his mother. The blinding white walls were another tip. Lastly were the dozens of voices surrounding him, making him feel claustrophobic.

He was caged like an animal, a wounded animal. Then he heard her voice again.

You need to steady your breathing. Breathe with me. In and out… Just like that.

The oxygen mask pressed to his face made him panic, just for a moment, then he focused on her voice once more.

In and out… Shhhh…

The burning on his chest ripped him out of his haze, thrusting him back into the real world. He screamed into the oxygen mask, the ringing in his ears drowning out her voice.

His eyes, wild and panic stricken, bounced around the room, looking at the people and the machines surrounding him. He just barely made out someone shouting about morphine.

Movement at the corner of his eye caught his attention. His head whipped in that direction as the stranger took a needle to his IV.

The woman standing over him set the empty needle aside and looked down at him. Her hair was pulled out of her face, there was sweat on her brow and heavy bags under her eyes.

She was the most beautiful thing he had ever scene.

Another blast of pain had him surging forward. She pressed her hands to his shoulders and forced him to lay back with all her might.

Peter swore those ugly as fuck fluorescent lights formed a halo around her head, maybe it was the morphine.

You’ll be okay… You’re gonna be okay.

He breathed hard and watched her hover above him for a moment longer until his body began to relax. His eyes slowly fluttered shut and he drifted off into a long, dreamless sleep.

Why do breezes sigh every evening… whispering your name as they do…

And why have I the feeling, stars are on my ceiling… I know why and so do you…

It wasn’t the aches in his body or the natural sunlight streaming into his room that woke him up. It was that voice bringing him back to reality.

Peter slowly opened his eyes, wincing at just how bright the daylight was despite the rain clouds forming outside. He looked around the room, familiarizing himself with the space.

Even though he knew she would be there he still froze in place when he saw the woman from the night he was brought in.

She looked a lot more put together this time. She looked like she had gotten some rest since their last encounter. The woman was completely focused on her clipboard and her singing, she didn’t notice Peter was awake until he attempted to sit up in his bed.

“When you dance with me, I’m in heaven when the music- Oh my gosh. Don’t do that.” She set her clipboard on his bedside table and moved to his side as quick as a flash. She rested her hand on his shoulder and gently laid him back onto the bed.

“You need to take it slow,” she said, pulling the remote for the bed from its velcro strap on the wall and showing it to him. “This button will help you sit up… You have severe burns on your torso. You can’t put strain on yourself.”

Peter pressed onto the small arrow button, wincing as the bed began to adjust to his control. Before he could even thank her she left the room, mumbling something about getting him some food.

He sat there for a couple minutes, blankly staring at the tv mounted on the wall. It was playing one of those cook off shows. He usually hated them, but he assumed the nurse had put it on and decided to sit through the yelling and the over the top panic.

She stepped back into the room, setting a tray of food down on the table above his lap.

“I read on your medical records you have no food allergies, so this should be fine… unless you’re on one of those weird gluten free diets…” she trailed off, moving the tray closer to him.

Peter chuckled softly, wincing when he felt his chest ache from the quick movement. He took a sip of the ice water she brought him and sighed happily.

He looked up at her, not really knowing what to say as she began unboxing his meal. Of course his mouth always ran a mile a minute out of his control.

“I’m not like… Like all Freddy Krueger-y am I…?” he asked, motioning to his face.

I’m a fucking idiot.

The nurse laughed and glanced at him, giving him a onceover as she shook her head. “Never heard that term for severe 3rd degree burns before… but no, you’re not all Freddy Krueger-y. Your chest is a little worse for wear… but with some time and a lot of pain meds and aloe vera it’ll be fine.”

She retrieved her clipboard from the other side of his bed and pointed at one of the many buttons on the bed’s remote. “My name’s (Y/n), if you need anything just press this button. I’ll be right back to check on you once you’re done eating.”

Peter looked her over as she left the room, smiling to himself once she was gone.

Once he was done ripping into his food he could feel himself beginning to doze off. He growled to himself and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, hoping to keep himself awake until (Y/n) got back.

He hadn’t realized he dozed off until the sound of little white sneakers on the linoleum floors stirred him.

(Y/n) stood over him, getting the tray together as quietly as she could. She stopped once she realized her patient had woken up and gave him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up, Mr. Quill.”

“You don’t have to apologize… and you can call me Peter….” he said, feeling butterflies in his stomach when her smile brightened.

“Well, Peter, looks like that turkey has you ready for a nap.” she said, preoccupying herself with the messy tray he had left. “I’m a little surprised, not everyone finishes their food here. Can’t really blame them though, hospital food’s always a little rough.”

“Yeah… I used to visit my mom in the hospital a lot, so I pretty much lived off of it for a while.” he sighed, shifting under the covers only to wince and whine in pain from the burns on his chest.

(Y/n) quickly moved the table aside and stood over him, gently moving his hands away as he clutched his chest.

“Here, let me go ahead and change out these bandages…” she plucked a new roll of bandages from the cabinet on the other side of the room and returned to him. She carefully helped him sit up straight and untied the front of his hospital gown.

Peter heard the heart monitor quickening and screamed at himself to calm the hell down and let the woman do her job. But damn, the way her fingers brushed over his skin as she took off his bandages had him fighting back the burning in his cheeks.

The sight of the burns on his chest were enough to knock his head out of the clouds and send him back to reality. (Y/n) held up a small tube of ointment, warning him that it would probably sting.

After getting a dollop on her fingertips she began gingerly massaging the medicine onto his burns. Sure enough Peter grunted in pain and held his bottom lip between his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut while (Y/n) worked.

“It’s best to let it all out… How about you keep talking, that’ll take your mind off it.” she suggested.

Peter nodded, racking his brain for something, anything to talk about.

“W-Whenever I got sick of the hospital food… m-my grama would being me something…” he said through his gritted teeth, continuing their conversation from earlier. “I think my fav-fuck… my favorite were these grilled cheeses she’d make… she’d always bring em by wrapped in foil… with some tomato soup in tupperware…”

(Y/n) wiped what was left of the ointment onto a tissue and began wrapping Peter’s chest, giving him a small smile. “Sounds like someone’s getting hungry again.”

Peter couldn’t help but chuckle as he breathed through the fading pain. He breathed a sigh of relief once she finished and laid back into the bed.

“Those should heal up in the next week… Hopefully applying that ointment won’t be as painful, it only gets easier from here.” (Y/n) said, her fingers working on retying his hospital gown.

“I’m kind of a baby when it comes to pain, sorry if I’m a little difficult.”

“No, no, it’s alright.” She assured him, gently rubbing his shoulder. “Don’t be afraid to let me know if you’re in any pain. I’m here to take care of you.”

The corners of Peter’s lips quirked up into a small smile and he gave her a slight nod. He sighed happily and laid his head back, relaxing into the bed once she left the room.

The rest of the week was basically the same routine; Peter would wake up, (Y/n) would bring him his meals, change his bandages, then he’d go to sleep. But in between all that Peter tried his best to make small talk with her, get to know her more.

He dropped that sneaky “Oh your boyfriend must be so proud” line the third day in. He almost jumped out of bed when she corrected him, saying she wasn’t dating anyone.

With the burns on his chest already healing he knew he’d be out of the hospital soon. He wasn’t too distraught, he could try to get (Y/n)’s number. Hell, screw “try” he was gonna do it.

His last afternoon in the hospital finally rolled around. His check out was scheduled for 3, it was currently 11.

She’s gonna bring me my lunch, Im gonna ask her for her number, it’ll be fine…

The door to his room opening put the biggest smile on his face, but it dropped once he saw a different nurse walk into the room with his tray of food.

“Good morning, Mr. Quill. How are we feeling today?”

“I… I’m good, is (Y/n) not here today?” Peter asked, looking behind the nurse to see if (Y/n) had trailed in after her.

The nurse frowned and shook her head. “No, I’m afraid she caught the flu from one of her other patients. She won’t be coming in today.”

Peter felt his heart drop out of his chest and into his stomach, along with all hope of ever going on a date with (Y/n).

“But,” she continued, setting the tray down on his table. “She did bring this by a little earlier… I’ll be right back to check on you when you’re done.” She smiled, turning and leaving the room.

Peter eagerly sat up and pulled the table closer, unboxing the food. He smiled wide, realizing what she had sent for him.

A grilled cheese wrapped in foil, and a glass pyrex bowl of tomato soup. A small, folded slip of paper sat between the two and he quickly unfolded it.

I’m willing to make a house call once I get over the flu. Call me.

Sure enough, the seven digits of her phone number along with a small heart sat under her message.

[thepleasureisguilty]

A Day of Pampering Chapter 7:

Part of an ongoing rp between @ask-a-slippery-boy and myself

Chapter 1:(SFW)  https://thepleasureisguilty.tumblr.com/post/180404620744/a-day-of-pampering-chapter-1-insomnia-and-a-night

Chapter 2: (SFW) https://thepleasureisguilty.tumblr.com/post/180491298229/a-day-of-pampering-chapter-2-bathe-in-the-baths

Chapter 3: (NSFW ish): https://thepleasureisguilty.tumblr.com/post/180609254064/a-day-of-pampering-chapter-3-turning-tables-in

Chapter 4: (NSFW)

https://ask-a-slippery-boy.tumblr.com/post/180612617105/a-day-of-pampering-chapter-4-love-languages

chapter 5 : (SFW ish)

https://ask-a-slippery-boy.tumblr.com/post/180645825730/a-day-of-pampering-chapter-5-seven-minutes-in

chapter 6: (SFW):  https://thepleasureisguilty.tumblr.com/post/180782130404/a-day-of-pampering-chapter-6-the-counts-new

this one is SFW: contains feasting with a countess and  making Devoraks blush.

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I jump a little as you squeeze me but I don’t make a sound. I hold your arm as we follow Nadia down lucio’s hallway and to the dining room. Servents scurry around and Nadia grabs one and tells them to find Portia and have her join us.*

*The dining room is also fairly busy. We are seated across from Nadia near the end of the table.*

thepleasureisguilty

*I sit next to you, holding your hand under the table and watching the servants scurry about and having this sensation of wanting to help *

11/13/2018

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Pasha comes through the doors in a hurry* “Countess, you called for me?” *she looked a little flustered, like she may have ran a bit to get here*

*Nadia held up her hand to calm her.* “To join us, for dinner.” *She gestures to the seat besides her. Portia blushed and walked over to the seat only then realizing who “us” accompanied*

“What??? Ilya??? Mast??? You both look so good! Ilyusha I didn’t even know you could wear at color..”

*nadia smirked* “they do look rather good don’t they? I dressed them up after I found them rummaging around in lucio’s closet of all places...”

*portia gave us a look and a gesture which I returned with a shrug*

thepleasureisguilty

*i wave at portia and give a guilty smile when she gestures at us*

Haha there really is no excuse portia *I shrug as well still grinning*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Portia narrows her eyes at us, as if to say that she doesn’t buy that there isn’t some wild story involved, knowing us.* *Nadia simply looks amused at the whole situation.* “So, Mast, you mentioned you run a lounge? Please tell me more.”

thepleasureisguilty

*i flush* oh i do, its a very... Underground business. An artist collective of sorts where the group can make a few bucks and have a place to practice their art. *I try to skirt past the fact that we feast on the leftovers of nobles*

If you ever would like a portrait done Nadia, i would be honored to assist

*my eyes go up to the painting in the dining room* that was commissioned by lucio wasnt it? ... *I smile* I can tell by the color scheme and composition

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Portia and and I devolve into making strange expressions at each other. A wordless conversion that is essentially a back and forth of “what did you do?” And “I didn’t do anything”*

thepleasureisguilty

*my eyes occasionally switch between you two and i laugh to myself*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*nadia looks thoughtful.* “I do appreciate the underground resurgence of art in this city. I always find the most interesting things there. Theaters, markets, alike. I’d be very interested to see what yours is like.” *She looks a little surprised when you offer to make her portrait and laugh when you say the one on the wall was obviously commissioned by Lucio.* “you’ve only spend a few minutes in his closet and already you can tell the man’s taste. How amusing.”

*Portia surfaces from our “conversation”* “Mast is really talented, my lady! They drew Pepe and I the other night.” *Nadia smiles* “well I’ll have to consider it, since they come so highly recommended.”

thepleasureisguilty

*I blush a bit at the praise and smile* id be happy to sketch you sometime to show you my talents Nadia. Then you may determine for yourself if it is justified

ask-a-slippery-boy

*She seems pleased* we’ll have to make an appointment of some sort.

*Servants come in with carts. They set down wide but shallow bowls of creamy soup. They set down glasses of fine white wine to pair with it, and vanish quickly as they appear*

thepleasureisguilty

*I inspect the food, the smell is rich in spices and fish* cream of scallop? *I venture the guess smiling*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*nadia nods* “You must have a good pallet. That is correct.” * the soup is delicious. I make a satisfied sigh as I eat, but that might also be because I can hold your thigh under the table without anyone noticing*

thepleasureisguilty

*I humm happily as you hold my thigh and i taste the soup, it is great. Highly doubt this batch would ever be sent back to the lounge *

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I trace circles into your inner thigh. I have such a hard time keeping my hands off of you, I’m actually surprised we ever make it outside sometimes* Delicious, as always. Thank you for the invite Nadia, your hospitality is greatly appreciated.

*Portia nods* “And thank you for inviting me to join you too! It’s nice to get a quiet moment with you *she blushes* e - everyone I mean

thepleasureisguilty

*I give a glance to nadia as though to let her know portia wasn’t talking about me or her brother* indeed ... More wine for anyone? *i stand and reach for the carafe *

*i refill your glass* I imagine you two don’t get many quiet moments *i grin slyly* running a city is exhausting and im sure portia feels it too being your right hand

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia is very perspective. Your Portia’s comment, along with your glance, do not go unnoticed to her. Everyone thanks you for the refill.* “Oh not at all!” *Portia insists* “Helping my lady is no trouble at all! Especially when she works so hard to keep the city together. You should see all the work she’s gotten done this last week! It’s incredible!” *Nadia flushes a bit under her praise* “Nonsense, Portia. You work very hard for me.” *there’s a low purr in her voice. I might not be particularly perceptive, but even I pick up on that little subtly* *I arch and eyebrow at Portia, who blushes deeply*

thepleasureisguilty

*i smile... Checkmate.... My brow raises to portia too* oh dont worry portia, i know for a fact how much you enjoy working for the countess, nothing you have told me would ever make me think you didnt enjoy your job *I smile earnestly knowing that my point has been made And the ball has began to roll*

*I sit back down and put my hand on your thigh, under the table*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*She turns bright red under our combined gaze. Nadia observes this with amusement and a mischievous curl of her lip. I could pick out a Dom Face (tm) from miles away. I’m deeply uninterested in knowing whatever she may be imagining for my baby sister, but I am glad to know that Nadia may be interested. If anyone would treat Pasha right, and give her the spoiling she deserves, it’s Nadia. Under the table, I put my hand on yours, and intertwine our touching legs. I attempt to act oblivious to all the different tensions happening at the table and work on finishing my soup*

thepleasureisguilty

*I try to hide a smirk with finishing my soup and drinking the wine, i intertwined our fingers together and reciprocate the leg touching, i am not acting oblivious at all to all the tensions in the room. I watch nadia, observing her Dom face gawking at the blushing portia... I trust that she will tell her how she feels when the time feels right. As for me and you... Everyone already knows were fucking.. No mystery to it and i like it that way... I like the fact that we and everyone knows we want eachother and it is simply up to us to determine when and how*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*As we finish our soup, servants re enter and take the bowls from us. They replace them with plates of roasted lamb, accompanied by many different sauces and sides of jeweled rice. I favor a minty yogurt for mine dish.*

thepleasureisguilty

*my mouth waters as i look at the plate* so... Did you know roasted lamb was my favorite meal countess?

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia looks surprised* “I did not, but I am glad to hear it. Hopefully it is cooked to your liking.”

thepleasureisguilty

*i cut open the meat, juice pours from it and the center is a bright pink color with charred edges* perfection....

ask-a-slippery-boy

“Ah I am happy to hear it. You are my guest, and I would prefer to to afford you as much luxury as I can.” *Nadia says*

thepleasureisguilty

*I smile, nod, and shamelessly dig in. The noise i make is slightly erotic without meaning to be*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I make a sensual satisfied sound that is perhaps a bit too loud when I take the first bite of the lamb. It is delicious. Portia shoots me an unimpressed expression.*

*Nadia smirks and teases* “It seems Portia was not exaggerating when she said the two of you were very well suited for each other.”

thepleasureisguilty

*I swallow and chuckle at nadias comment and look to you lovingly*.... I guess not *i smile and squeeze your hand before diving back into the meat*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I beam back at you, my lips are shiny with the oils of the lamb. Being slightly uncouth next to you? My fantasy come true. This tender moment is slightly interrupted when Nadia says.* “Next time we really ought to invite Asra, and MC as well. Gather the ‘old gang’ as it where.” *I accidentally inhale a grain of rice and choke on it rather ungracefully*

thepleasureisguilty

*the second bite holds all the flavor, it is full bodied and juicy, theres a bit of blood left that leaves a fatty copper taste to it. The texture is divine, the meat is tender and ritch. Garlic, sage, tyme, and rosemary was rubbed into the outside of the slab before being cooked. The roasting process formed a crunchy heavily seasoned layer on the outside and a soft, tender middle...im missing something... It adds to the moisture of the flesh... White wine!... Slits made in the cut towards the end of the cooking process flooded with white wine... Ohh this truly is magnificent. I take a bite of the rice... Olive, garlic, parsley and a creamy dill flavor hit my senses... Little bits of chopped up onion...and the rice is panfried so it has bits of crunch to it... --- my enjoyment of the meal is interrupted by you choking, i offer you my water and rub your back*

ask-a-slippery-boy

A A Asra? *Cough* I-if you so wish it Countess. It um... has been a while. *Nadia raises an eyebrow* “Oh, is there a problem, I had thought the two of you had put your... past behind you.” *I cough a few more times* We did errr that is, we have... *I blush deeply*

thepleasureisguilty

*I raise a brow, before i put two and two together* Asra?

And old lover im assuming *i raise a brow and smirk at you*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I drink some wine to finally stop my choking* The three of us... Nadia, Asra, and I, used to be quite close friends... “Yes,” Nadia chimed in, “This was before Julian ‘murdered’ my husband.” *I flush deeper and deeper* Well things progressed between Asra and I, but the ending was.... a little messy.... “Yes, our Doctor was thoroughly heart broken if I recall correctly.” *Nadia added helpfully* *I shoot her an exasperated expression* It was a long time ago. But... well, that last fight was a little hurtful... we both said things we shouldn’t have.

“And” *added Nadia* “They have spent plenty of time to get her since then. I personally don’t understand where your anxiety stems from.” *Nadia said. I only know that she It attempting to comfort me after knowing her for so long. Her approach is generally logical and a little cold.* “Clearly Asra has let the past go. You should not be worried about what he has left to say to you.”

True. *I pose with my fingers on my forehead dramatically* But it was not Asra’s heart that was broken on that fateful night *Truthfully I don’t know why I’m still scared to see him. Maybe because I know that he’s seen my worst qualities and isn’t afraid to point them out. I hope I can cover any genuine concern by pretending to be overdramatic*

thepleasureisguilty

*damn harsh... Nadias words strike... But your reaction it seems like youve dealt with this before... I give you a look when you overdramatize and bring your hands from your face and into mine* okay drama queen *i smile trying to lighten the mood* if you need to have a long talk with asra to calm your anxieties about him... Then I suggest you do it, it can even be at the lounge if you like... If you dont want to do that then i wont encourage us going on a triple date with him *I smile and touch the bottom of your chin in a "buck up" manner*

But i will have you putting on a one man show to hide your anxiety... Deal? *I smile at you hopeful *

ask-a-slippery-boy

*But do we need to talk? I’m not sure what we would say to each other. I give your hand a squeeze.* I... I don’t know if a heart to heart is exactly what a I need or not, but I’m not opposed to a triple date. *Portia blushes deeply each time we say that word* I think exposure may be the correct therapy here. *I kiss your hands* Nadia is right, we have spent time together since. I don’t think there’s much remaining as far as bad blood goes. *I kiss your hands again* Thank you for being understanding. Don’t let your lamb go cold on my account. *I smile and let you go. Returning back to my food as well*

thepleasureisguilty

*I squeeze your hand reassuringly and glance apologetic at nadia and portia nodding my head at each of them before returning to the lamb*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*they both seems happy that you managed to talk me down. Both have bore witness to how deep I can go into my little tangent. Nadia does not approve of emotional coddling, but she seems to appreciate your problem solving approach. Portia smiles to herself too. *

thepleasureisguilty

*i understand the spiral... The use of theatrics to hide real emotion or make satire out of what your feeling. I also know that one needs to be told they are doing so and given another solution to the issue*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I don’t think I’ve ever been with anyone who really understood the motions of my emotional spirals as well as you do. I squeeze your leg under the table. This isn’t the time to talk about it really, but I do appreciate it. I appreciate you, entirely. I shoot you a loving look.*

thepleasureisguilty

*I reciprocate the squeeze and look back at you smiling* So, when are we planning this triple date or then? *I perk up smiling at Nadia and Portia*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia smirks and Portia turns red* “Hmm... unfortunately I don’t have much as far as free time as of late. I have lots of projects in the works, things Vesuvia desperately need. Finally I’ve removed most of my obstacles in completing them.“

thepleasureisguilty

If there is anything i can assist you with Nadia, please just ask *i smile at her* you have been very...kind to me. I want to be of assistance anyway i can.

ask-a-slippery-boy

*She sighs* “it’s hard to tell what I’ll be needing in the future. But I will keep you in mind should I need use of your skills. Thank you for the offer, Mast. I do look forward to our date” *she made a meaningful glance at Portia, who looked like she may jump out of her skin* “I just cannot guarantee that it will be very soon.” *She smiled mischievously* “And I would like very much to visit your lounge. Portia,” *Portia jumped to attention* “Would you like to attend with me? See what sort of trouble your brother has gotten himself into?”

thepleasureisguilty

*I cant help but grin in semi disbelieve and victory, a heavy sense of accomplishment washing over me as nadia asks*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Portia gave me a look up and down, eyes lingering on my bite marks* “I’m not sure how much I want to know.”

Nadia laughed. “Yes. I did see perhaps a little too much when I found them earlier...”

“Oh gross!!! I am so sorry my lady! Ilya! I cannot believe you!”

thepleasureisguilty

*I flush and laugh a bit* honestly I think it was a good thing you came in when you did nadia *I blush more very embarrassed and a little proud*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia’s grin deepened, obviously getting a bit of a kick out of grossing out Portia and embarrassing me* “Oh? And why is that, Mast?”

*I turn red*

thepleasureisguilty

*uhoh... Was not expecting that...* uh hhh hmmm *i turn bright red nable to answer, my articulation skills have betrayed me*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia rests her head on her hands and waits patiently for you to answer clearly*

thepleasureisguilty

*i smirk wide and rest my head on my hands in the same fashion* you would have been blind by all the gody things we were trying on in your husbands closet...

Seriously some of the things he owned were quite terrifying. Im only glad you were spared

*i sip my wine raising my eye brows at her*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Pasha pretends to gag. I say nothing, knowing i will only blow your cover if I try and help. Nadia, on the other hand, I’ve never seen such an evil look on her face.* “I assure you the most terrifying things in there were gifts from me. Did you have any favorites?”

thepleasureisguilty

Hmmm *I scratch my chin thoughtfully* I would have to say my favorite gawdy thing in there, that i saw so far* would have to be the large red cloak with white fur and black spots on it with the giant gold lion clasp in the front

*I chuckle while saying it, honestly not knowing if he owned such a thing*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia sighed, disappointed* “Oh I thought you were talking about the flogs. You’re quite right, I hated seeing that dumb cape. A lion? Honestly...”

thepleasureisguilty

Flogs? Oh we didnt get that far! Perhapse you could show us later? If you like *i smile* and agreed *I nod fain knowing what shes talking about* very distasteful

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia places a hand on Portia’s shoulder, who looks as though she may faint* “I’ll think about it, I’d hate to scare dear Portia here. Unless red hair and easily flustered aren’t the only dominant Devorak genes...” *im not particularly surprised that Nadia knows what a massive masochist I am. It’s not exactly a secret. But Pasha... looks confused and terrified. I’d have to tease her about it later.*

*As we finish dinner, servants replace our lamb with delicate little cakes. Each seems to be a different flavor. Mine is white chocolate and raspberry*

thepleasureisguilty

*I chuckle at the situation and turn my attention to the little cake* Mmmm coffee and a dark chocolate

ask-a-slippery-boy

*The cake is good too. I make another sound that could possibly be interpreted as lude. Pasha looks like she could kill me.  * Nadia, this is so delicious, I am continuously impressed with your skillful chiefs.

thepleasureisguilty

*I make a sound at my second bite of the tiny cake* agreed this is a wonderful meal, thank you so much

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia smiles* well thank you for the company. Even if it was... unexpected.

thepleasureisguilty

*I smile back and chuckle* dont worry nadia... Next time we break in we promise to be much more careful not to get caught *I wink at her*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia scoffed* I’d much prefer that you ask me if you may visit. I might even let you use a bath that isn’t covered in a thick layer of dust and Gods knows what else.” *she gives us a meaningful look when she said “what else” that makes me blush.*

*Portia chimes in* What you used Lucio’s /Bath/ too???

thepleasureisguilty

*I smile guiltily at portia* I am of course joking nadia... I would definitely ask your permission first

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia relaxes* “Good I would hate to put my guards on high alert to spot you. It would probably even more embarrassing to be caught by them than by me. They won’t wait until a convenient time to stop you...” *she winks*

thepleasureisguilty

*I laugh embarrassed and turn a bright red again I look at you to see your reaction as well*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I have been caught with my pants down by the palace guards before.* No, they do not. *i state this matter of factly. When I catch your eyes I smile softly at your blush. It’s so damned cute.*

thepleasureisguilty

*I sputter out a laugh at the no they dont attempting not to cackle*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*nadia gave Portia a sympathetic pat* siblings can be difficult

thepleasureisguilty

*poor portia, this entire night she has been embarrassed and practically tormented by nadia.... I know shes loving the attention though*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I decide to cut Portia some slack and give her something else to think about besides Nadia’s close proximity and all the wild sex you and I have been having since we last spoke to her.* It’s been a few days, I have to ask, how is my niece Pepi? Is she happy? Does she miss me?

*Portia rolls her eyes* “Pepi is very happy! Unlike you, I take good care of her!” *I roll my eyes back* you asked me to watch her, and I did. She’s fine. *Portia looks offended* She’s fine because I came home in time to save her from you!

thepleasureisguilty

*I turn to you* ilya? Did you not take care of pepei? *I narrow my gaze at you*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I take a deep breath* I did. I swear.

*Pasha pips in* “He did not! That giant raven of his was going to carry her off!”

No he wasn’t! He’s a good- *I flush, the words “good boy” almost come out of my mouth. I’m a little extra sensitive to the phrase these days* he’s a good bird. And I was watching to make sure anyways... also Malak isn’t even my bird. We’re just friends....

thepleasureisguilty

Malak is a good boy I can say that for a fact. And I'm sure pepei wouldn't let anyone man handle her *I smile*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I shift my posture as you say the phrase. Nadia defiantly notices. Portia pouts* “Even fighters need help sometimes. And Ilya if the Raven is your friend then I’m sure he’s rowdy. He squawks up a storm whenever he sees me.”

*I blink* must be the uniform…

*she narrows her eyes* Ilya that doesn’t make any sense

*Nadia leans on her hands* “It’s hard to say, Portia. Julian seems like a /good boy/. I’m sure he wouldn’t leave your dear Pepi at risk...” *I flush deeply and grab your hand* *Pasha misses the significance* He’s not! He’s loud and rowdy and he drinks to much and everyone know it!

thepleasureisguilty

* give Nadia a protective look and rest my arm on your shoulder* he is portia... * I look at you* and i wouldn't want it any other way

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia simply looks amused. I am turning deeper red by the second. Portia is apparently more oblivious than I am. I clear my throat*

to be continued... 

[razziliciousart]

Rebellion

It was my first time I had been trusted to sell wares alone. I had turned twelve only weeks earlier, and my mother had finished weaving all our wool into spools of yarn and thread. Father had had a bountiful harvest that left many sizable pumpkins in my care to sell. But mother was close to giving birth to my sister, and father needed to be near when it happened to take care of her. So he entrusted me with the city business. I had never been to the city alone. I had only gone with mother, and she made sure to keep me in the safest areas. It was exciting and frightening all at once. But I knew I would be alright. I was bright and charismatic, if I do say so myself. Our family donkey, Stella, was strapped to the covered wagon stashed with wool goods and pumpkins. I had packed coin from the kingdom I would be visiting, and some essential items for a weeks travel. 

It took two days and one night to reach the city. And another day to set up my wagon and booth. Luckily, with winter approaching, the wool goods sold quickly. As did the pumpkins, since many enjoy a nice pumpkin stew on cold nights. I decided to spend my final day exploring the city, maybe using a bit of coin to buy some foods for the trip home. I had spent coin on fresh bread and come cheese and eggs and vegetables. I would make bread bowl stew for dinner tonight instead of eating the same leftover tavern soup. On my way back to my wagon, movement caught my eye in a dark alleyway. I glanced over and gave a soft horrified gasp when I saw the skeletal figure of a nearly naked boy huddled against the wall. The air was chilled and he had no source of warmth. And his body looked so frail and brittle, though he was probably my age. How could these people walk right past this boy without a second glance? Was this normal for a kingdom? I decided to do something.

I rushed to my wagon and found a warm wool coat mother had made me along with wool socks I typically wore to bed. I used the things i bought to make two bread bowls. One bigger than the other. I brought the bread bowls and clothes back to the alley and stepped into the shadows, sitting right beside the poor boy, "Here" i said, setting the things down, "I brought some things for you" i pulled out the socks, "These are wool. Straight from the sheep my mother raised. Theyll keep your toes from chilling" i set them in his lap, "And this-" i pulled open the coat and draped it over his form, "Same wool from the same sheep. Itll help keep you warm" i lifted both bread bowls and offered him the larger one, "Eat up. I just finished making it. Its cheese, eggs, vegetables, bread, and some pumpkin from my fathers harvest" i smiled to him, turning to my own bread bowl to eat it.

"I cannot believe this kingdom. So many people just walk right past those in need and dont even turn their heads. So awful!" I scoffed, "I dont understand how they can be so apathetic. So heartless." I shook my head and ate a bite of my stew, leaning back on the wall and looking at the boy, "Hey. I want you to promise me something, ok? Promise me youre not going to give up, ok? Things are hard, but thats just how life is. Youve gotta fight and bite and claw your way. Youve gotta fight for a better life. I want you to promise me youll do that, ok? Thatll be your payment to me for the food and wool. That youll live a better life." I said, smiling to him, "Maybe when we're older and youre big and strong and living your life, we'll meet again! And I can show you my family farm and all our animals" i told him. He watched me with wide eyes as he pulled on the clothes, scarfing down the bread stew hungrily. Just before I left, he caught my skirts, "I swear to you" he said, voice hoarse and ragged with fatigue, "I will fight. And I will become strong and I will find you and protect you" he told me. I smiled and took his hand from my skirts to give it a gentle shake, "Its a deal, then"

I dont know what happened to that boy. After we finished eating, I said goodbye and returned to my wagon. And Stella and I returned home the following morning. My parents were proud of me for my success in the city, and I got to meet my baby sister, Tyaila. We called her Ty. For her first birthday, I had decided to try my hand at making herbal remedies. This one would turn her tongue blue, which I knew would delight her. In doing so, I found a passion in making such remedies. I spent my adolescence learning the craft and helping my parents sell their wares as well as mine.

Im now twenty four. In my prime and at a marriagable age. But I wasnt worrying about that, I wanted to perfect my craft and find a man I loved. I wanted my sister to know she could find value in her own achievements without being a wife. My sister... she was twelve now. The same age I had been when I met that poor boy. I hoped he was doing well. I hoped he was successful and had a warm home. Now that I looked, Ty looked almost identical to ne when I was that age. Except she kept her hair short. I was currently outside with my sister. A week ago, one of our sheep had given birth to a small lamb, who had decided I was his second mother. While a selkie chicken we had was his second father. My sister and I were giving the lamb a good brushing. We didnt typically brush the sheep, but he had been a naughty lamb and rolled in the mud. We had to clean him up. 

A distance sound pulled my attention from our actions. Further in the village, where most trades happened, i saw a pillar of smoke and heard screams. Mother and father were currently there. But something felt wrong. My heart began to thunder in my ears and my brain was telling me to run. Pick up Ty and run. But my legs wouldnt listen. More smoke rose. Ty stood at my side, the lamb in her arms, "Sis?" She spoke. Thats when I saw it. Armored men on horses. Swords and torches in their hands. I gasped, eyes wide. People of our village were fleeing on mules and in carriages, desperate to save their families. I made Ty set the lamb down and lifted her in my arms before running, leaving the gate to the sheep pin open. They could escape. We could find them later. 

I caught up to a fleeing carriage, kissing my sisters cheek before throwing her into the wagon. The woman driving it was a neighbor, who I knew would keep my sister safe, "Ill find you, I promise" i told her. But first, I had to find our parents. I swallowed the lump in my throat before rushing back to the village. Everything was in flames. And among the flames, i found no signs of my parents. The voices of the men grew louder. I had to run. I would find them later. And together, we would retrieve Ty. As I fled, i noticed our newborn lamb standing helplessly beside a slain sheep. His mother. Our chicken perched on his back. With a curse, i lifted the lamb and bird, running from the flaming village with a small group of other villagers. A group would be safer to flee with. 

One of the soldiers, wearing the fanciest armor and largest horse, came chasing us. He didnt take long to catch up and cut off our group. Everyone dropped to their knees and dropped their heads, hoping to be spared. Except me. I stood with my lamb and chicken in my arms, breath shuddering as I stared up at the mounted soldier, his horse pawing the ground like a beast from hell. I swallowed thickly and held the animals closer, a defiant scowl on my face as I glared up at him. The other soldiers were quick to catch up on their own horses. And I felt a sudden pain on my back as one kicked me to my knees, "Learn your place, wench!" He spat. I grunted as i fell to the ground, using my body to shield my animals from the soldiers.

The other soldiers dismounted their horses, approaching me as i glared at them. I could almost hear their smiles under their helmets as they came closer, hands on their swords. I was prepared to face their worst. "Lay a hand on her and it will no longer be attached to your body" a booming ice cold voice said. I looked up when I realized it came from the soldier who chased after us. My body went rigid as the soldier dismounted his massive hellish stallion and weaved through the other villagers as he approached me, "I have been searching for this one for a long time. Take the others away" he ordered. The soldiers nodded and rounded up the other villagers. I watched as they were led back to the other captured villagers. This wasn't a good sign. I feared the worst from this soldier.

He came closer, reaching an armored hand out. I took the opportunity to strike a leg out, aiming for his groin, but his opposite hand caught my ankle before it met its mark. I gasped and stumbled at the sudden imbalance and he was quick to pull me by my leg and into his arms. I stared at the helmets grate wide eyed in shock at the sudden closeness. I could feel his eyes on me. This was definitely not good. Lucky for me, the chicken currently caught between us began to peck aggressively at his armor, making him pull back from me to get some distance. We were silent as we observed one another carefully before he finally spoke, "I have been looking for you for so long... Those eyes, that hair... and sheep... You must be her..." he reached up, pulling off his helmet. Shaggy dark locks shook droplets of sweat as he shook his head free, narrow golden hazel eyes gazed down at me. He looked... terrifying... he gave a hollow smirk before bowing at his waist, an arm over his chest, "I kept my word" he told me, "I fought. I bettered my life. Ive dedicated my life to becoming strong. I can protect you. Provide for you." He continued, standing straight again.

Recognition flashed in my eyes. This man. He was that small peasant boy? That frail skeletal child at deaths door? My eyes examined his face and down his body. Even with the armor, I could tell he was no longer the brittle child cowered in the shadows. My first thought was relief. Relief that the boy I assumed to be dead was, in fact, alive and thriving. That relief was quickly turned to fury as I realized the boy I showed compassion to became a cold blooded soldier, attacking helpless farming villages and burning homes to the ground. My hands shook with rage and I lowered myself as calmly as I could to set down the two animals in my arms, standing up straight again, "So this is what became of you" i spoke. He nodded, opening his mouth to speak, but was interrupted when i struck him with an open handed slap across his face. "How wonderful it is to have a boy you helped return twelve years later and burn your fucking village to rubble!" I snapped. He held a hand to his face and stared at me in shock for a moment, "I thought you would become a merchant or farmer, not a monster!" I continued. His face turned from shock to a steely calm. The other soldiers returned, telling him of the other villagers being captured. He nodded and waved them off, his gaze never leaving me. He stepped closer as they left, and no amount of steps back stopped him from throwing me over his shoulder and onto his terrifying steed. He got onto the horse behind me, his armored arms moving to either side of me to hold the reigns as he rode to catch up to the other soldiers.

I couldnt look at the other villagers as they watched me on the horse while they walked in bonds. How did they see me now? What was I going to do? These soldiers would surely kill me if I tried to run again. And this man, as horrible as he was, had decided I was his prize. I was silent as night fell and we approached a camp. Many tents scattered the area with horses and carriages and worst of all- more soldiers. In the back, more villagers were bound to a large fallen log, where the villagers from my village were brought and added to the group. The man behind me dismounted the horse. Perhaps I could escape. Grab the reigns and run before he could react- hands grabbing my waist and pulling me down from the horse ended that thought. I pushed him away from me roughly once my feet were on the ground, giving him a glare of death.

I brushed my hands on my skirt and turned to join the rest of my people at the log when the man caught my arm, "No" he said, "My tent is this way" he pointed. My blood ran cold and eyes widened as he pulled me along. His tent?? I would be staying in his tent? This wasnt good. My mind raced with every horrible thing he could do with me trapped in a tent. He pushed me through the flaps once we reached it before following behind me. Inside I saw a bedroll, scattered clothing, some weapons, and a small desk with papers ontop. He cleared his throat, making me look up at him, "Ruben" he introduced himself, giving another bow at the waist. I turned away from him, my body rigid as I waited for what was to come. He stood straight, turning from me to begin removing his armor, "You take the bedroll. I will make sure none disturb your rest." He spoke as the last piece of armor dropped to the floor. He wore simple trousers and a tunic underneath, both soaked and sticking to his form from sweat. He ran a hand through his hair with a sigh, "If you need something to sleep in, I can give you one of my tunics-" "I would rather sleep naked in an ants nest" i interrupted harshly, refusing to look at him.

Ruben sighed and nodded, "Very well. I will leave you to rest as you like. I will be just over here. I suggest not trying to leave, though. The other men are... Not to be trusted. Especially not with a maiden like yourself..." he said. I scoffed, "As though youre trustworthy" i muttered, though I knew he heard. A frown settled on his face and he silently turned to take a seat at his small desk, eyes roaming the papers. I examined the tent for a long while, trying to think of a means to escape. I had to find Ty. I had to find my parents. None of them had been with the other captured villagers. Does that mean they escaped? Gods, i hoped so. I folded my arms across my chest, fingers grasping my arms until my knuckles were white. What was I going to do? How was I going to escape? As the night wore on, I could feel fatigue weighing my eyelids down. No... I had to stay awake. I couldnt allow myself vulnerability around these beasts. But before I could stop it, i found myself laying on the ground, eyes closed and breathing steady.

Ruben looked away from his papers to watch the woman sleep on the ground. She was beautiful. Just like the day he met her. He had been serious about his vows. To protect her and take care of her. How could he do that when she rejected him so harshly? This wasnt the reunion he dreamt of for so long. Had he realized the country his king decided to attack was in fact her home, he wouldve never agreed to lead the kings army. But it was too late now... wasnt it? For her, he would turn on his king. For her, he would fight every soldier he considered a comrade. For her, he would dismantle the entire kingdom's hierarchy. For her, he would do anything. She was worth it. Rebellion wasnt beyond him. He stood from his desk, leaning down. One arm carefully tucked under her knees while the other cradled her body to his chest. She released a soft sigh, making him freeze until he was sure she hadnt woken. For a long moment, he stood with her in his arms. Relishing in her warmth. Her intoxicating scent. Her weight against his chest. He watched her sleep. Such soft plump pink lips lightly parted. Long eyelashes curled like a butterflys wing. Rosy cheeks so soft and plump. She looked even better this close. He slowly walked to the bedroll and laid her down, pulling the cover over her up to her shoulders. He pushed her hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear and watching her sleep. And he decided.

Her love was worth a rebellion.

[pearls-of-patton-moved]

Adronitis

Takes place in the Fata Organa AU.

Words: 1131

Pairing: Platonic analogical

The first tickle of his throat hits in the morning, and Logan worries for a moment before getting lost in his first class of the day. By lunchtime, he seems to be coughing a bit more than usual, but he’s already focused on a new research project he wants to start, and decides to skip lunch in favor of the library. It comes as a shocking realization to Logan, later that evening, when he glances up from the book he’s reading, to realize that he’s horribly cold and his head is pounding. Shocked at this sudden onset of illness, Logan quickly packs his things up and leaves the library, but by the time he’s reached the dorm, he barely has the energy left to set a water bottle on his nightstand and huddle under the covers. He curls up, but sleep proves difficult to come by, and every time he manages to drift off, he inevitably wakes himself up with yet another coughing fit.

By the time Logan wakes, the next morning, Virgil appears to have come and gone, and with a start, he reaches for his phone to check the time. The glaringly bright screen echoes 11:30 back at him, and Logan struggles to get up, having already missed one of his classes, and determined not to miss the rest. He feels sore and moves sluggishly around the dorm room gathering his things, but just before he can leave, the door bursts open as Virgil returns.

“What are you doing?” Virgil demands, glaring at Logan with a surprising ferocity.

“I overslept. A better question is why didn’t you wake me?” Logan growls back, irritated and still ridiculously tired.

“Overslept?” Virgil barks back. “You kept both of us up half the night with your coughing fits, and you’re worried about oversleeping?!” Logan tries to formulate a response, but Virgil is already stepping forward, crowding into his personal space and herding him back towards his bed.

“Get back in bed, idiot. Hell, you didn’t even eat the breakfast I left you, before trying to book it out of here!” Virgil steps to the side, as soon as Logan sits back down, and picks a tray up from it’s resting place on his nightstand.

“What-” Logan tries to ask, but Virgil is already interrupting him.

“You need to eat something. And drink the tea, too.”Virgil offers him the tray as soon as he’s settled, and Logan examines its contents. Fruit, oatmeal, and a cup containing the tea Virgil had mentioned.

“I can’t just skip my classes, Virgil, I might miss something important,” Logan argued, though he still picked up the spoon.

“Seeing as I already spoke to your teachers about it; yes, you definitely can. You haven’t missed a single day of class yet, and in case you haven’t noticed, you’re sick.” Virgil responded evenly. “The sooner you take the time to get better, the sooner you’ll be able to go back to class.” Silence descends on the two of them for a moment, as Logan eats, and Virgil rummages around in his backpack.

“You spoke to my teachers?” Logan quietly asks a minute later.”Why?”

“I mean, you’re sick.” Virgil looks back at him warily. “What else was I supposed to do?”

“Ignore me? You’ve never displayed an interest in interacting before. I just find it -odd- that you would choose to take an interest in me now when I’m ill.”

“I guess I’m just used to taking care of sick people. I’ve got to go to class.” With that, Virgil leaves Logan alone in their room once more. Carefully, he settles in to finish eating his breakfast, though it’s much closer to lunchtime now, Logan supposes.

The next day is Friday, and if anything, Logan feels even worse, so he stays in bed once again, annoyed with his body but unable to argue in the face of Virgil’s confident assumption of control. It reminds him of being back home, with Aunt Lacey fussing over him the moment he catches a cold. He tries to read his textbooks, to study and at least pretend to be productive, but his eyes can barely stay open, let alone focus, and mostly he ends up just sitting in bed, staring at the wall in front of him, waiting for time to pass. Virgil finds him like that, when he returns from his classes, staring straight ahead with unfocused eyes.

“Jeez, you look like you’ve been given a prison sentence. I’m surprised you’re not studying, actually.” Logan started to shake his head in response but aborted the motion immediately as it set his head spinning.

“I attempted it. My eyes seem to be having trouble maintaining focus on the words.”

“Oh, well you could watch some Netflix or something? It’s honestly creepy, you just staring at the wall like that.” Virgil placed a tray with more food beside Logan, before shrugging of his backpack.

“I do not have Netflix. It seemed an inadvisable expenditure when I should be spending my time studying.” Logan frowned, focusing on the food Virgil had brought him.

“Okay, that’s just sad. Where’s your laptop?” Logan pointed at his backpack, where it lay beside his bed, wondering what Virgil wanted with it.

“Ugh. password?” Virgil asked once the machine had successfully booted up.

“Mmm,” Logan mumbled. “Tomato.”

“That didn’t work, Logan. Are delirious too?”

“Not-” Logan frowned. “Not literally tomato. The scientific name. Solanum Lycopersicum.”

“Sola- what?”

“Solanum Lycopersicum. It’s the scientific name for the tomato. Just google it.” This time, Virgil had brought Logan some kind of soup, so he sniffed at it. It smelled like chicken broth.

“Right. Of course, that’s your password.” Virgil pulled out his phone and started typing.

“What are you doing anyway?’ Logan blew into the soup, watching Virgil out of the corner of his eye.

“I’m logging you into my Netflix account. You need something to do, and it has plenty of documentaries. I’m sure one of them will interest you.” Virgil typed into the computer for a moment more. “There, your own profile and everything. Enjoy. I’m going for a run.” And once again Virgil was out the door, leaving Logan adrift in Virgil’s complete shift in personality over the past two days.

Logan’s feeling marginally better the next day, and by Sunday afternoon, he’s feeling well enough to leave their room for his meals. Logan worries temporarily that Virgil’s been infected with whatever caught hold of him, but that fear proves unfounded, and Virgil remains as healthy as ever. With Logan’s returned health, Virgil’s attitude returns mostly to normal, but Logan finds his curiosity about his aloof roommate has only been heightened after this most recent incident. He only wishes he had an idea of how to properly thank Virgil for his help.

tags taken from the fanders taglist

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[magmasliveblogs]

1.22 (part 2)

aaaaaaaaaaand im back! when we last left erin, she was dealing with acid flies. lets see how this develops! 

“You have a talent for finding the most dangerous things, don’t you?”

Pisces shuddered as he gazed at the acid fly traps. He edged away from them and rubbed his arms nervously. Erin grinned at him.

“Aren’t they gross? But look—the jars are almost half full, and it’s not even been more than two hours.”

“How fascinating.”

He took another step back. Erin eyed him, but she couldn’t judge him too harshly. Both she and the mage were a good ten feet away from the glass jars.

Pisces licked his lips as he stared at the jars. The way the countless glowing shapes moved and heaved against the glass was hypnotic.

“I imagine…I imagine if all four containers were to rupture, the swarm of these insects could very well engulf us and melt our flesh within moments.”

“What a lovely image.”

“Yes. Yes, I imagine it will fill my dreams tonight.”

“They can’t get out of the jars. They’re not that smart. They wriggle in, but the lid keeps them from exiting. I did the same thing with fruit flies back where I lived.”

“I applaud your ingenuity. But may I ask why you decided to capture a swarm of deadly insects that prey on dead matter?”

“Well, they’re bugs. I bet Klbkch would love to eat them.”

Pisces gave her a fish eye look. He shook his head.

“It’s your funeral if you want to attempt to cook them. May I advise removing the acid before you serve them to your guests?”

Erin glowered at Pisces. She wasn’t even sure why she’d invited the mage to see her traps. She just wanted to show off, and he was the only one who’d come for dinner that night.

“I don’t get how they can survive anyways, if they explode so much. I mean, how would they even live long enough to reproduce?”

“By having few predators insane enough to risk consuming them. That, and the fact that they are nearly limitless in number.”

“Ah.”

Pisces waved a hand at the glass jars.

“These are only the males of the species, in any case. The females are—substantially—larger. In fact, the sole purpose of the male is to gather as much food as possible. He will dissolve and absorb as much nutrition into his lower abdomen before returning to a female in hopes of winning her favor. They all do it.”

“Oh, sort of like how bees and ants both have queens, right?”

Erin glanced over and saw Pisces gaping at her open-mouthed.

“What?”

He shook his head.

“I was unaware you were so familiar with the biology of insects, that’s all.”

huh, lets hope we never see a female 

“Oh, I know tons of weird animal facts. When I was kid I watched Discovery Chann—I mean, I read lots of books.”

“You can read?”

Pisces gave her a look almost bordering on respect. Erin glowered at him.

“Of course I can read. I can also play chess, and I read poetry. Sometimes.”

“You can play chess?”

Erin glared again, but he seemed genuinely curious.

“Oh yeah. I play chess. A tiny bit. You could say it’s a hobby of mine.”

“Really? As it happens, I was considered one of the better players in the northern cities. Would you care for a game? Perhaps with a wager or two on the side?”

Pisces smiled innocuously at her. Erin rolled her eyes.

prepare to get trounced 

An hour later Pisces stared at the chess pieces in front of him with desperate concentration. He moved the king piece in front of him left, and then right. He turned his head to look at the board another way.

“Perhaps if I—”

“Nope. And even if you try to take the pawn, it’s still checkmate.”

Erin didn’t bother looking up from her meal. She’d made scrambled eggs with sausage on the side. It wasn’t the most exciting of meals to eat, but it was tasty, filling, and it was better than having to stare at Pisces.

“I cannot fathom it. I was—am one of the best players in on the continent! I have outplayed [Tacticians] and other mages of similar caliber and skill. How could you defeat me?”

She shrugged.

“Amateurs are still amateurs. By the way, I’ll put the money you bet me on your tab.”

“Ah. That. Clearly I made a miscalculation. Would you care to waive my debts if I—”

“No. You bet and I won. No arguing. Eat your eggs.”

Erin heard a loud sniff, but after a moment she also heard the clink of metal on pottery.

“I must admit, this is better fare than your unfortunate soup of yesterday.”

She looked up. Pisces quickly looked down at his plate.

After she’d glared for a bit, Erin asked a question that had been on her mind for a while.

“What do you do all day, anyways?”

Pisces looked up and swallowed the scrambled eggs.

“I study the mystical realms of the transmundane. To unlock the secrets of the ether and command over supernatural forces I—”

“You study.”

“Pretty much.”

Pisces shrugged and went back to munching on his breakfast.

“Do you need to study that much? I mean, don’t you know spells?”

He sighed.

“For all my magical proficiency, I cannot cast more than a few magics beyond the third tier in any field, and I am relegated to first and second-tier magics in most fields outside of my specialization.”

yay studying!

“Oh. Um. Magic has tiers?”

Pisces rolled his eyes.

“Indeed. Seven, or eight to be exact. There is a speculative ninth tier of magic, but no mage has ever cast or discovered a spell of such magic. In any case, to cast such spells mages such as I require concentration, time, and effort to unravel the workings of each new incantation.”

Again, Erin had to pause to figure out what Pisces was saying.

“Right. So you study to cast better spells. And I guess that makes you level up as well?”

“Obviously. It is a taxing affair, especially given that menial affairs such as lodging and sustenance must be taken care of while one attempts to study.”

Erin propped her head on one elbow.

“Almost makes you wish you had a job, huh?”

Pisces eyed her dourly.

“Until recently I had a quite profitable side business liberating unneeded supplies from the locals in exchange for entertainment. But now I abstain from such activities to stay within your good graces.”

“Yeah, and because Relc threatened to stab you if you kept doing it. That’s not really a good career path, you know.”

He sniffed loudly.

“I also had a far more lucrative occupation liberating unneeded items from those who were in no position to use them, but apparently that is considered a grave violation of privacy as well.”

“You rob the dead?”

“I reburied them afterwards.”

Erin opened her mouth, raised a finger, threw up her hands, and gave up. She stared at Pisces as the mage huffily finished his food.

not like the dead will come back to life for revenge, or do they? we dont know yet 

“Why don’t you do something actually useful instead?”

“And what would I do that is so useful?”

“I dunno. What do mages do for a living? Blow up stuff with fireballs? Dispense sage advice? Sell their beards? I found a bunch of magic runes in the kitchen. They kept food fresh for—I dunno, years.”

“Ah. A [Preservation] spell, no doubt. Yes, that is certainly a service some mages skilled in runecraft can provide for plebeians.”

“…And? Can you do that?”

“I cannot.”

“Darn.”

“I am sorry to betray your high expectations in me, but I fear even a mage of my caliber cannot study every school of the higher arts.”

Erin glanced up at Pisces. The mage was scraping his plate with the knife and fork. She had the distinct impression he would have licked it if she weren’t watching.

“I never had high hopes for you in the first place. I just think it’s too bad, that’s all. You know magic and you don’t do anything with it.”

Pisces put down his fork.

“Some would say magic is its own reward. I would.”

“I guess.”

Erin sighed. She felt like she was talking to a wall. A particularly annoying wall with bad hygiene.

“You know, if you actually helped people and were a bit nicer, I think you’d actually be fun to hang around. Why are you so rude to everyone?”

She hadn’t meant it to sting, but clearly it hit Pisces somewhere vulnerable. He sat up straight in his chair, his eyes flashing.

“Thus far I haven’t found any people worthy of my assistance. Why should I help those who judge me in ignorance and fear?”

Erin blinked up at him. The young mage’s face was pale with indignation, but spots of color flared in each cheek. She thought about asking him another question—but he was in no mood for conversation.

Instead, Erin shrugged and stood up.

“Because you’re a better person than they are.”

She collected his plate and hers and left the mage sitting at the table. When she came out of the kitchen he was gone.

yay motivational messages! (sarcasm)

The next day Erin got up and went to check on her fly traps. They’d worked scarily well.

All four glass jars were filled with crawling, wriggling shapes. Erin took one look at the jars, gagged a bit, and then had to go sit down.

“Oh man. Oh wow. That’s the nastiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

It was also, on reflection, the scariest thing she’d ever seen. Erin wondered what would happen if she accidentally knocked the lid off of one of the jars. She recalled Pisces’s comment about melting flesh and shuddered.

Carefully, Erin walked over to the jars. She repeatedly thought about how important it was not to trip.

Her foot caught on a tuft of grass. Erin windmilled her arms wildly and caught herself just before she tripped into one of the jars.

“Not okay. Not okay.”

Before her heart could finish stopping, Erin adjusted the lids of each jar so they firmly covered the openings. Now the acid flies couldn’t get out at all.

“That’s better.”

Erin hefted one of the jars up and felt some of the acid flies explode within.

“Oof. That’s heavy.”

She shifted as the acid and flies shifted in the jar. For such little insects, they weighed a ton.

“Gotta be all the acid in their backsides. Okay. This could take a while.”

Erin took one step, and then another. She adjusted her grip around the glass jar so she wouldn’t drop it. She’d have to watch the ground for potholes, but she was pretty happy with her posture. She took another step, and tripped over another of the glass fly traps.

The ground rushed to meet Erin’s face. She realized she was still holding the glass jar and hurled it away from her just in time. She smacked into the ground hard and exhaled hard. Aside from that, she was fine.

Then Erin heard the glass jar shatter as it hit the ground. She rolled to her feet and stood up.

The large glass jar lay in shards on the grass. Green-gray acidic sludge dripped onto the ground, raising steam and hissing where it met the soil. For a moment, all was still among the wreckage. Then, with a horrific buzzing a swarm of black shapes flew into the air.

Erin felt her heart stop. She looked up at the spiraling cloud of flies. They flew around wildly, looking for whatever had disturbed them. Erin backed away slowly, praying they would ignore her. For a moment it seemed as if they would fly off, but then the entire direction of the swarm changed. The cloud of flies seemed to recoil, and then encircled Erin in an instant.

Her heart had stopped. It wasn’t beating in her chest. Erin looked around desperately, but all she saw were buzzing, buzzing flies. They filled the sky, the ground, everything.

“I—”

They swarmed at her. Erin screamed and covered her eyes and mouth.

“Gust!”

Erin heard the voice, and then a raging gale blew around her. She staggered as the wind blew her around. The effect on the acid flies was even more pronounced. They were blasted away from Erin into a funnel of air which whirled them into one spot. They buzzed around angrily, disoriented and confused.

So was Erin. She looked around and saw a familiar young man wearing dirty grey robes. He was pointing a finger in her direction.

“Duck, Erin!”

Erin dove to the ground and hit the dirt hard. She looked up and saw Pisces raise one hand. A pale frost formed at his fingertips and half-visible gusts of wind blew around the length of his arm. He pointed at the disoriented swarm of acid flies.

“[Frozen Wind].”

A gentle breeze blew against the top of Erin’s head. Then, the air crackled and her hair froze in place. Erin could see the faintest trace of whirling air as it blew over her head. Where it passed, snow began to fall from the sky and she felt intense freezing cold engulf her.

The swarm of acid flies flew into the freezing breeze and fell out of the sky. Erin yelped and ran as they showered down around her, frozen insects that burst as they hit the ground.

She dove into the river, and leapt out of it just as quickly in case the flat fish tried to bite. When she cleared the water out of her eyes, the glowing swarm was gone, and all that was left was a circle of smoking dirt and frozen grass.

When Erin had finished shaking so hard she couldn’t move, she stood up. She was still trembling uncontrollably.

“That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.”

She lurched over to Pisces. She wasn’t sure if she should throw her arms around him or start crying. She settled for a brief hug, and then doubled down and hugged him fiercely. He didn’t seem to notice.

Pisces was breathing hard. He stared at the sizzling patch of earth where the acid flies had been, as if mesmerized. She could see the whites of his eyes as they shifted towards her.

“It—that was a beginner’s spell. Not suitable for most combat and downplayed by my instructors. However, it was the best tool for the moment. All magic is worth using, after all.”

“Right.”

Erin nodded. Pisces nodded. His eyes flicked back to the patch of melted earth.

“You saved me. It was incredible, that spell.”

He shook his head and waved a hand weakly in her direction.

“I am—I am a mage of Wistram Academy. As a specialist of the Wind Elementalist field of magic, of course such displays are second—second—”

Pisces bent over and threw up in the grass. He retched, and then threw up again. Erin patted him on the back and waited for him to stop.

it appears wistram graduates arent all he says they are if it just takes two spells to tire them out, unless he is just low on mana after studying or someting similar. that or he is weak from hunger other than the meals erin feeds him  

After a while Pisces wiped his mouth with a corner of his robe. His face was still pale, but he looked better.

“You were lucky I happened to be here. Very lucky.”

Erin nodded.

“I was. I really was.”

Pisces nodded back. Erin felt like they were both bobbleheads, but there was nothing else to do. He pointed a trembling finger at the three glass jars still holding the swarms of acid flies.

“If you insist on using such traps, might I suggest you anchor them in the stream?”

Erin looked blank.

“The stream? Why?”

“Several reasons.”

Pisces shakily counted them off on his fingers.

“Firstly, the natural buoyancy of the water would prevent the breakage of glass if the jars were dropped, or at least mitigate the danger of the acid flies. Secondly, the effects of wind and other native life would also be mitigated. And thirdly, I would not be at risk tripping over such traps.”

“Right. I can do that.”

She wasn’t sure if it was the moment, but the trembling in her body had nearly vanished. Erin grabbed a rock, tied a some long grass to it, and anchored the rock to the glass jar. She dropped the rock in the stream and watched the jar bob and float in the water.

“Hm. I need something heavy to make sure it stays upright. I guess sometimes the jars might turn over…but it’ll work. Better than leaving them on the ground. A hundred thousand times better.”

Pisces nodded again.

“Well.”

“Good thing you came along.”

Both nodded again. Pisces opened his mouth and grimaced. He went over to the stream and shakily rinsed his mouth out. Then he looked up at her.

“May I ask—what is it you plan to do now, Erin?”

She looked at him. Then she looked at the glass jars full of flies.

“I’m going to take these jars back to the inn. You’re coming with me in case I drop one. And then…”

“And then?”

“And then I’m going to feed you until you explode like one of the flies.”

Pisces glanced down at the glass jars and the milling acid flies within. He shuddered again.

“An apt description.”

while a good description, ew 

The jar of acid flies was a mix of acid and death. The corpses of hundreds—thousands of the small bugs floated in a sea of glowing green juice. It slopped against the side of the glass, an obscene testament of insectoid death.

“Hold on, I think there’s one left.”

Erin shook the glass jar. The last remaining acid fly bounced against the glass and popped dully within.

“What will you do with them?”

She looked up at Pisces. The mage was sitting several tables away from her, deliberately not looking at the glass jars.

“I’ll separate the flies and the acid. I don’t know what I’ll do with the acid.”

“If you dispose of it, please do so with utmost care. While the acid of these insects cannot eat through metal or many conventional materials, it is extremely quick to dissolve any organic material.”

Erin nodded. She carefully put the glass jar back in its corner and stood up.

“Right. Um. Want another piece of bread? Or would you like some more juice?”

The sight of the fresh bread and cup of juice made the mage’s face turn an indelicate shade of green. He patted his bloated stomach and erped. He covered his mouth with his hand, but Erin was pretty sure he’d nearly thrown up.

“Maybe not, then.”

“You have been most kind.”

yeah looks like he was just hungry 

Pisces stood up and clutched at his stomach. He wavered, and cast his eyes towards the door.

“Most kind. But the night is old, and I believe I shall retire.”

“Are you sure? I could get you a bag of food to go.”

He turned a darker shade of green and waved a hand quickly at her.

“You are very considerate, but no. No. I will be off. Thank you for your hospitality.”

“It was nothing. Let me get the door for you—there. Careful on your way out.”

She saw Pisces out the door and then turned and looked back at the table he’d sat in. It was filled with empty plates and crumbs. She debated cleaning it up, and then shook her head.

Carefully, Erin picked her way across the inn. She walked over to the three filled jars of acid flies and made sure for the umpteenth time that the lids were secure, and that she couldn’t see any flies still wriggling around inside.

Among the many things Erin had bought from Krshia, one of them was a chalkboard and piece of chalk. She’d meant to record things she needed on it, but now Erin wiped the black slate clean and used her best handwriting as she wrote on the board. Then she propped it up on the bar’s counter.

Menu

Pasta w/sausage and onions – 3 cp. per plate.

Blue juice – 2 cp. per glass.

Acid flies – 1 s. per plate

She dropped the chalk on the counter and cast her eyes back at the jars of dead flies. Erin shuddered. She rubbed at her arms and sat in her chair. Too close. Too close by far.

In a while she’d fall asleep. In a while she’d wake up screaming and then fall asleep again. She’d be haunted by the sound of buzzing wings for the next week. But for the moment, Erin’s eyes closed.

[Innkeeper Level 10!]

[Skill – Alcohol Brewer obtained!]

[Skill – Dangersense obtained!]

“…I wonder if you can make fly cookies?”

ooo alcohol brewer? can she now made wine from the fruits, like what magnolia had delivered? also is [dangersense] just spider sense but better? 

thats the end of the chapter! will pisces return more often? will klb love those flies? 

see you next post 

[feathermoon2002]

Senior quote list pt. 1

•jesus said chill

•i launched the book

•i eat cereal with cereal

•slorp slorp

•they put two chicken nuggets on my bun

•all i want is choclate pudding

•i refuse to have your mustaches

•do you wanna hear my tragic anime backstory

•i demand that my thoughts be gone

•im the spaghetti

•you must be at least a level 7 friend to unlock my tragic anime backstory

•you're a furry.    no furries are disgusting.

•you dont have to be spanish to speak Spanish KATIE

•look, what kind of crime did i commit to deserve this exposure

•pretty soon the birds will a w a k e n and s c r e a m

•the birds have started s c r e a m i n g

•what's better than being ice cold? Being accepted by society

•tHERES A VULTURE, GO, THIS IS NOT YOUR LAAANNNDD

•guys this is serious i don't have autocorrect in my brain

•gender roles? whats that? it sounds like a horrible idea

•axolotl, more like axolotlittle

•SQUAAAAAWWW

•This is giving me ideas. TOBY NO

•Straight men dont wear crop tops

•help im in the crotch area of the lion

•finish the furries

•Why are lions so fluffy? Because they go PUFF. yes please

•i dont like coloring in tiny toe beans

•i love yellow! Can i color it blue?

•adolf titler

•im gonna tell grandpa salami u were talking trash

•did you eat? Yeah i ate this morning. well now its night

•guys what if i just light the match and- NO!

•i know what chicken means

•no lauren, that illegal

•please tell me you've eaten a hamburger. I have. Oh thank god. i thought i was gonna have to pray to jesus for you. JESUS IS ALWAYS NEEDED

•i dont cry but when i do its because of micheal jackson

•speaking of memes    how about we dont

•looking at your yearbook photo "yuca"

•*mockingly* "order the beef empanadas" what do you think im capable of

•isnt that theft?     isnt that a federal offense

•i was startled, okay? arent i allowed to startled

•i forgot how to spell "exercise"     you're an idiot

•don't be a transphobe, Chad

•im not gonna argue cause i dont know

•are you a privilege?      oh no, did i offend you

•english is a terrible english

•be free, Jeremy

•what is that? necrophilia??

•B R O T H E R S F I G H T

•be gone, you squaw

•the suffering frog has returned

•a gaggle of gays

•cant i put ramen in my egg? WAIT NO

•*whispers* piggly wiggly *yells* I LOVE PIGGLY WIGGLY

•eat real food

•suicide causes death

•dont die on Tuesday

•hey are you done with the bathroom? yeah i just have to wash my teeth. ....wash your teeth?? yeah! Wait..no

•whoever doesnt like lemon cookies is a nazi

•i cant spell sqak. squak. squack. sqacckk. sqwack. squawk.

•im going to bed.   its noon????     ...time doesnt exist. it isn't real.

•Augh what are you?! i want back to the furries and...

•he'll just be eating salad and a hand falls into his soup

• hey toby, are you a ficus? No im a fern. a strong, empowered fern.

•munchstache

•you ugly fetus

•there are wolves in here, lets not

•snape? more like dead mate.

•#land. wait. no. stop.

•hairline howard

•whats in the box? Stuff. go fuckin kill Klarg.

•okay guys, have fun, bring me back his head!

•meemaw- YEEMIC ITS YEEMIC

•the voice of god yelled his name YEEMIC

•you threw my dog in the fire! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

•MY GRANDMA SAYS I LOOK LIKE A GRANDMA

•i wish to devour the unborn

•What you egg? First Murderer: stabbing him Young fry of treachery

•is islam a country?

•are vegans giraffe

•she needs to be deleted

•hey i might be sick.      you're not allowed.

•you guys werent supposed to die in this room

•i can smell the atoms bonding

•hi my name is magic brian

•i don't know if ghosts can be startled

• *someone pulls out a ouji board* Oh hell no, get that white people horror movie shit away from me

•choclate milk titty baby

•go home charles, youre drunk

•im gonna repopulate Chernobyl with idiots.

•whatever! i am teaching father the math!

•i tried to sit up and immediately regret being born

•eyebrows are eyelashes for eyelashes

•theres now worse than wet socks

• can you guys stop yelling, im trying to listen to Taylor swift -Ryan Hayggins