#I mostly did the drawing for fun + I have no control over what my brain decides to draw and that was the topic of the week for me I think

[cinnamon-flame]

Do you have any specific OC you’d like me to draw? I wanna return the favor of you drawing Phoenix :D

Hmmm, most of my major ocs need remakes of their references (which I need to finish before artfight whoops) but maybe this one? A scary seawing cryptid lady

Also this is like a really roundabout art trade now and that's really neat ο(=•ω＜=)ρ

[gimmethatagustd]

paint me naked | jjk

After the mysteriously hot guy in your university class starts taking an interest in you, should you really trust that he’s not like all the other college fuckboys? Especially when his best friend is the guy who broke your heart?

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (past Taehyung)

Rating: Explicit

Genre/Trope: College AU, friends to lovers, fluff, smut, light angst

Word Count: 17,025

Content Warning: Self-esteem issues, alcohol, marijuana (of course, it's a jai fic), brief mention of drug dealing, it's very "hehe I have a crush" y'know, kinda YA of me jshdfks rip, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, cunnilingus, can you tell I was a depressed poetry student in college??

A/N: This ended up being my most popular fic back in the day (lol like a year ago). I'm ngl, I don't think of it as highly as I do the other fics I've written, but this was I think the second fic I ever wrote?? Back in 2022. Crazy times. So y'know, growth and whateva. The funniest part is that probs 85% of this fic literally happened to me sjdfks. Except the "Jungkook" was only my friend and we just got stoned and vibed, and instead of painting a naked woman, one time during our studio sessions he painted an abstract rendition of my "soul" but it really just looked like a thumb I'm ngl. All my friends said he was in love with me cuz who paints portraits of someone's soul??

Soundtrack: Paint Me Naked - Ten

“Jungkook, I don’t think this is gonna work.”

“Let me try.” 

Your eyes strained to see the boy standing in front of you, but the room was pitch black. It was good, though. You’d purposefully blocked out as much light as you possibly could. It had been a surprisingly difficult feat, mostly because the two of you hadn’t thought this through very well. A rolled up towel was shoved against the bottom of the bedroom door to keep the light from the hallway out. Blackout curtains had already been drawn over the windows when you got there, so that made the window problem easier. Luckily, you’d remembered to unplug the digital clock sitting on the nightstand next to the bed, the last piece of light you could have some control over putting out. 

To make things weirder, you were in Jungkook’s parents’ room. 

“It’s the darkest room in the house!” he’d insisted and you hadn’t objected because, well, it seemed on brand for the way the entire night was going. 

With arms stretched out, your fingers pressed into something bumpy and hard. You could hear Jungkook’s breathing beside you and a light laugh alerted to you that he was much closer than you’d initially thought. After a quick prod, fingers gliding slightly upward, you realized you were grabbing his abdomen. The hard ripples you’d felt were his toned abs beneath his thin t-shirt. 

“Sorry,” you whispered, though there was no need to be quiet. Jungkook’s hands wrapped around yours and took the objects you had clutched between them: scissors and an undeveloped film roll. 

Drawing your hands back to your side, you waited in silence. The sound of metal scraping against plastic was the only sound in the room aside from the quiet rustle of wind blowing through leaves outside. You don’t think you’d ever felt silence before until that moment. It was electric, a pulsing sizzle that sparked up your fingertips and jolted into your heart as you stood beside Jungkook. The harmony your breathing had fallen into made the moment feel far more intimate than you’d expected. Why was standing in the dark with someone so intimate? 

“Fuck,” Jungkook muttered, and you heard what you imagined was him stabbing the scissors into the film. 

“Oh my god, please don’t cut yourself, okay? I don’t know where the hospital is from here.”

His only response was another quiet laugh and you knew from the sound that his nose was doing that scrunched up thing that it always did when he was making fun of you. After only a few months of knowing Jungkook he was certainly very comfortable teasing you. He was pretty comfortable with you in general, you were beginning to realize. 

And why were you here? Standing in the dark with a boy you barely knew from a shared university class, one who towered over you in height as well as being much larger than you physically. Trying to pop open film because Jungkook somehow thought you could actually develop this film without having access to a real darkroom. Sure, all throughout high school you’d taken film photography classes. You had the development process memorized by heart, from the length of time the film needed to soak to the different types of chemicals needed and what order you were supposed to submerge the prints in. You’d even emailed your old high school teacher to double check. 

But doing all of that in Jungkook’s parents’ house? You knew it wasn’t going to work, but the guy had insisted on you helping him. Was it concerning that he had all these chemicals stored in a plastic tub in his closet? Maybe. And was it the safest decision to use scissors to pop open the film instead of the proper tool (which Jungkook had forgotten to order off of Amazon in advance)? Absolutely not. 

On top of that, no one knew where you were; you’d simply told your roommates that you were going to hang out with the guy from your university poetry class. 

“Jungkook? The weird one with all the tattoos and piercings?” Your roommate, Amiriah, had asked.  

“He’s not that weird.” 

“Y/N, he wrote a poem about eating pussy for a class assignment. You said so yourself. Please tell me how that’s a normal thing to do.” 

“And didn’t he have to read it outloud to the class because he turned it in late?” Now it was time for Courtney to pipe in from her position lounging on the couch, an episode of Love Connection paused on the TV screen. 

“Okay, yes, he did do both those things. But I swear he’s actually really sweet. He’s just misunderstood.” 

Courtney had launched a pillow at you, though the object zoomed past your head and landed against the refrigerator, knocking down multiple of Amiriah’s magnets. Much to her dismay. 

“Maybe we should take a break.” 

Jungkook’s voice brought you back to reality, or at least some semblance of it. You couldn’t understand how someone could have such a soft voice. Listening to Jungkook speak was like floating on a cloud. His cadence was a gentle caress against your skin, a sound that could easily flutter your eyes and lull you to sleep. It didn’t matter what he was saying; everything sounded better coming from Jungkook’s mouth. 

You nodded, forgetting that he couldn’t see you. A few moments and a bit of shuffling later, the lights sprung on. Your eyes instantly shut and slowly pried open again from the blaring brightness. 

The poor film looked like it had been mauled by a bear, but it was still somehow intact. Jungkook slipped it into his pocket for safekeeping and turned to look at you. He had this thing about eye contact that really made you uncomfortable. When he met your gaze, he looked straight into your eyes, as if he was looking into you rather than at you. 

“Do you want a drink?” 

His question caught you off guard, but he was already picking up the towel from the floor to open the bedroom door. Without answering, you followed him through the house and into the kitchen. You stood in the doorway, hands clasped in front of you, eyes following his large frame navigating the kitchen cabinets. 

“All my parents have is rosé, is that okay?” 

He uncorked the chilled bottle and poured each of you a glass. Then he did something that your roommates could add to the list of weird things they’d developed for him. 

He sat on the floor. 

You stared at him with your lips slightly parted, unsure if you were supposed to follow him. There was an entire kitchen table with multiple chairs. Why was he sitting on the floor with his back leaned against the doorframe? Bottle of rosé sitting on the tile next to him. He looked up at you with impossibly soft doe eyes and you couldn’t just stand there with your glass. So, you slowly sank to the floor, your shoulders brushing against each other as you sat next to him. 

“Y’know, I just realized the film you have is color film.” You spoke slowly, hating that you were about to burst his bubble. “You wouldn’t be able to develop it at home, anyway. The chemicals you bought are for black and white film, and color film has to be developed using heat.” 

“Damn.” Jungkook tipped his head back to take a very deep drink of his wine. 

“We gave a valiant effort, though.” You flashed him a small smile and the grin you got in return made your face grow hot. 

Your roommates weren’t really wrong. Jungkook didn’t have the best reputation on your university campus. There were rumors that he sold drugs (marijuana and acid, specifically) and had gang affiliations. He was quiet, kept to himself, and didn’t seem to have a whole lot of friends aside from a few guys who were equally just as questionable. Yes, you knew he’d gotten arrested the day before spring break started for getting into a fight with a guy on campus, but based on what your friends had told you, it was definitely the other guy’s fault. 

You’d also heard he had great head game, but that was a whole other thing. You just had a really hard time believing all the bad things people said about him, even when he’d admitted to a lot of the rumors being true. 

“A gang tried to recruit me when I was fresh outta high school, but I like selling on my own. Can’t trust people for shit.” 

He’d said it so casually, and you wondered what was wrong with you for finding a conversation about dealing drugs attractive. 

The thing your roommates, and a lot of other people, didn’t understand was that there was more to Jungkook than whatever dumb rumors got spread around (real or not). He was an exceptional writer. His poetry weaved in elements of hip hop, almost sounding like eloquent and lyrical rap lyrics rather than your typical stuffy poem that other students in your class tried to pass off as profound. He didn’t shy away from writing about mental health, sex, relationships, and loss. Everything he put down was raw, and you liked that it made other people in the class uncomfortable. Jungkook wasn’t afraid to be himself. Wasn’t that what art was supposed to be all about? 

And he was artistic in every way. Not only did he write well, but he was obviously into photography, and he also dabbled in multimedia sculpture. But the most impressive was probably his paintings. You’d seen the work he’d posted on Instagram, and during one of your hangouts he’d told you about how he’d been commissioned by the city to work on a public mural with another local artist. 

Very few people knew these things about Jungkook. They saw the tattoos, the piercings, the occasional blunt wedged between his lips, and they painted him in a way that was so distorted it annoyed you. 

“Thanks for helping me, though. I appreciate you.” 

You bit your bottom lip into your mouth to suppress another smile, instead opting to simply nod your head and cover up any expression by taking a drink. 

At this point, the two of you had been hanging out at least once a week. Usually you just sat outside on his parents’ front porch and smoked and talked about life. His parents seemed to always be out of town, and although Jungkook lived across the hall from you in the university dorms, he stayed at his parents’ house a lot to take care of their dog. 

It felt weird, though, hanging out with Jungkook. It was like all your interactions could only happen during those moments; otherwise, he didn’t talk to you when you saw him around campus. Even in your advanced poetry class, he would lock eyes with you across the room, but he never said a word. 

And it didn’t help that he was best friends and roommates with Kim Taehyung, the campus casanova who’d fucked you like you were the only girl in the world for an entire semester until you saw him cuddled up at a party with some other girl who didn’t even go to your university. The next day he was standing at your dorm asking for his skateboard back, weaving some lie about how summer break was the time to be single and have fun, but that he would “never forget” the fun times you’d had. 

Then Taehyung got a girlfriend. 

So maybe you were a little bit bitter over how things ended with Taehyung (and maybe you’d spent the entire summer crying yourself to sleep at night and aimlessly scrolling through Tinder, looking for anyone who might replace him and finding nothing). But the worst part was knowing that Taehyung had probably talked to Jungkook about you, and you had no idea what he might have said. 

“Hopefully the film is still okay,” you said after a moment, trying to pull yourself out of the cyclical negative thoughts you were often consumed by. 

You finished your glass, shaking your head at Jungkook’s offer for more rosé. He nodded, pushing himself up to stand and reached out to take your empty glass. 

You watched him from the floor as he washed the glasses in the sink. Your eyes lingered just a bit too long on the way his forearm muscles flexed while he cleaned, a few veins popping out along the back of his hands and the inside of his arm. Tattoos and piercings hadn’t ever been your thing, not that you didn’t appreciate the allure of body modifications. You’d just found yourself going after boys who looked polished, good boys to take home to mom. Jungkook had been the one to initiate your friendship, asking to hang out while you worked on your poems or read the many poetry collections due for class. You’d be a liar if you said his sudden interest in you hadn’t sparked your own interest in him.

Just one glass of wine was enough to make you a bit lightheaded, and Jungkook was a heavy pourer, apparently. 

“You good?” 

You blinked and stared into Jungkook’s face. He was drying off his hands now, watching you with an amused look on his face. 

“Umm, yeah. Just a lightweight,” you said with a breathy laugh that sounded a little too forced for your liking. Jungkook didn’t seem to notice. 

“You wanna go to my studio with me? The one on campus?” 

You looked down at your phone, a few text messages popping up from your roommates demanding to know where you were. Swiping to clear the notifications, you looked up at Jungkook and gave him a small smile. 

“Sure.” 

-

“That thing so fire baby, no propane. Got good pussy, girl, can I be frank? To keep it 100, girl, I ain’t no saint.” 

Music came blaring out of the car’s speakers at an alarmingly high volume, causing you to exhale a startled shout. Jungkook quickly lunged to turn down the volume and accidentally honked the car’s horn when his shoulder leaned against the steering wheel. 

“Shit, sorry.” 

“Talk about fucking sensory overload, fuck,” you mumbled, heart still dazed in your chest. 

“It was actually nice outside for once. I was whippin’ with the windows down, so the music’s gotta be louder.” 

All he was getting from you was rolled eyes and the sound of your seatbelt clicking into place. 

Jungkook turned around to look over his shoulder as he backed out of the driveway. He grabbed onto the back of your seat to position himself; once again, you found yourself eyeing his arms, exploring the exposed tattoos. It kind of pissed you off how hot it was when guys drove backwards. What was evolutionarily advantageous about that attraction? 

“If you wanna change it, I got a couple CDs.” 

Jungkook motioned to the middle console. You flipped through them, finding the album that was currently playing. You’d recognize it anywhere; he was one of your favorite musicians. 

“Bryson Tiller?” You turned the CD case over in your hand, eyes scanning the tracklist on the back. “You listen to sex music while you drive? And off a CD instead of Bluetooth, no less?”

Jungkook barked out a laugh, all teeth and crinkled eyes that you could just barely make out as the streetlights streaked over his face. 

“Yeah, I guess I do. You got a problem with Bryson?” His fingers lazily tapped against the steering wheel to the relaxed beat of Don’t - which happened to be your favorite song on the album. “This car is twenty-one years old. You’re lucky we’re not sitting here listening to cassettes.” 

“Who doesn’t like Bryson Tiller? That’s the baby-making music of our generation,” you said with a laugh. “Honestly, I can’t believe this song came out in fuckin’ 2015. Why does that feel like such a long time ago?” 

Jungkook sat in the driver’s seat with his legs spread as much as possible; this position was what had made you realize just how thick and nice his thighs really were. Plus, he drove with one hand on top of the steering wheel, left elbow bent slightly. He usually let his right hand rest against his thigh, though sometimes he held onto the gear shift in between the two of you. 

There was rarely any traffic in your college town, and especially not at 10pm on a Tuesday night. The two of you fell silent, Bryson Tiller’s soulful lyrics swirling through the car in the absence of conversation. Jungkook was typically a man of few words. You’d grown accustomed to carrying the conversation. With most people, that would have bothered you, but with Jungkook it was different. You knew he was paying attention when you talked; you could see it in the way the corners of his mouth twitched when you said something dorky (which was, apparently, all the time). 

And when he did have something to say, it was always worth the wait. 

“You’ve got good taste,” Jungkook said after driving a few blocks. “Guess I should probably add him to my sex playlist.”

Before you had time to process his comment Jungkook was pulling into the east parking lot of your university, the part of campus that was off to the side and only held art-related facilities. 

He led you to an unmarked backdoor of the building closest to the parking lot. Pushing the door open, he held it for you with a sweep of his hand. 

“Ladies first, noona.” 

Scowling at the honorific, you still obliged, entering a long hallway. The walls were bare, just an eggshell white, a few black scuff marks here and there, as if someone had been carrying something large and struggled to fit it through the narrow space. Jungkook maneuvered past you to lead the way to another unmarked door. 

The studio was a lot larger than you expected. One side of the room had a large rack of painted canvases to dry. You turned to inspect the left side of the room, finding multiple easels with additional canvases of varying sizes, most blank or seemingly half-finished. A rather worn-looking couch was placed in the middle of the room. Beside it was a coffee table and a Bluetooth speaker. (So Jungkook did know about modern technology.) Paint-covered tarps protected much of the concrete floor, and there were paint buckets and other supplies scattered in every corner. The entire room was pure chaos, but it seemed like there was an organization to it that only Jungkook knew. 

“So… yeah. This is my studio.” Jungkook closed the door behind you and locked it. 

Your heart skipped a beat at his action, but you swallowed down the spike of fear that had threatened to bubble up inside of you. You’d spent plenty of alone time with Jungkook. There was nothing to worry about. 

“I had to practically beg the school to let me have my own space since I’m not an art major, but they eventually let up,” Jungkook continued with a shrug. 

You were impressed, honestly. Jungkook wasn’t known for being the most reliable student academically; it was surprising they’d given him such privileges. 

“I like it,” you said simply, eyes still roaming the space. You weren’t sure what you were supposed to do now. Studio art wasn’t really your thing, poetry was. 

Luckily, Jungkook had a knack for reading your mind. 

“You can sit on the couch if you want. I got a project due tomorrow morning, so I’m gonna work on it. But if you wanna paint, just lemme know.” He scrolled through his phone as he spoke, and eventually more R&B music started playing from the speaker. 

“Tomorrow morning? JK, it’s fucking 10:30.” 

You stared at him with your head tilted to the side in disbelief, but you were only met with another shrug and a grin. Living on the edge. King of Procrastination, Jeon Jungkook. You were already getting secondhand stress. 

With a quiet hum to himself as the music took over, it was clear to you that Jungkook had switched to his serious side. He began prepping one of his easels with various paint brushes and paints. Dragging a heavy-looking but small filing cabinet next to the easel, he used the surface to store his supplies while he worked. 

You flopped onto the couch, adjusting so you could have a clear view of Jungkook. He looked cute in his jeans and black hoodie, a blunt pencil tucked behind his ear. His lips pouted slightly as he planned what he was going to do with his painting. Occasionally the pencil would be plucked from his ear and a few sketches appeared on the canvas, too light for you to see what they were from your position on the couch. 

The vibration of your phone tore your eyes away from Jungkook’s figure. It was no surprise that your roommate group text was blowing up. 

Courtnayyy 😘 [10:00] BITCH WHERE ARE YOU A Mili Amiriah 👑 [10:01] pls tell me the weirdo didn’t murder u Courtnayyy 😘 [10:04] If he did can I have your Mac Miller poster?  A Mili Amiriah 👑 [10:15] court how tf would she approve of that if she’s dead? she ain’t gonna see this shit Courtnayyy 😘 [10:18] Ouija board A Mili Amiriah 👑 [10:25] stfu 🔫 A Mili Amiriah 👑 [10:25] Y/N you better answer ur fucking phone right now A Mili Amiriah 👑 [10:40] hellooooooooooooooooooo

You let out a sigh loud enough for Jungkook to look over at you, eyebrows furrowed. 

“My roommates think you killed me.”

Jungkook grinned and turned back to his easel with a shake of his head. You’d expected him to say something, but then the reminder that Jungkook was… unconventional slithered into your mind. 

[10:45] I’m alive. Can you pls stop blowing up my phone now? 💀 Courtnayyy 😘 [10:46] FUCKING FINALLY  A Mili Amiriah 👑 [10:47] what are you doing?? [10:50] We’re just hanging out at his studio. I’ll probably leave soon

You tossed your phone next to you on the couch and lifted your arms into the air to stretch. It was rather warm in the studio and the smooth music of whatever playlist Jungkook had on was making you feel sleepy. What kind of lame college student were you? 

“I was serious about what I said.” Jungkook didn’t look at you while he painted, too focused on mixing the right shade of brown. 

“About what?”

“You can paint if you want. All the paint and brushes are in the cabinet.” 

You chewed on your bottom lip, eyes flitting from the filing cabinet next to Jungkook to the easel off to the side with a blank canvas. What if whatever you painted looked like shit? You had no idea what you were doing. 

But when did you ever get to paint in your adult life?

Pushing yourself off the couch you approached Jungkook to start rummaging in the drawers for supplies. You were stopped in your tracks, however, the moment your eyes landed on his painting. Considering that much time hadn’t passed, Jungkook was far along in his work. You came face to face with a woman, or at least the naked body of a woman. She was painted in soft earthy tones, curves accentuated by what looked like a gold silk ribbon that wrapped around her. The painting was certainly abstract because she was missing a head and her limbs weren’t finished, but just having her strong torso and thighs, and a long regal neck, somehow made her feel complete. 

“That’s beautiful, JK. She looks so realistic… How can you do all those little details so quickly?” You spoke quietly, desperately wishing you could touch the canvas. 

“Painting nudity is easy.” Another classic Jungkook shrug. “That’s why it’s so overdone. There’s nothing more beautiful than humans in their purest state, right? We’re the original art.” 

You would have never considered nudity to be pure, but you liked Jungkook’s analysis. Society saw nudity as all about sex. Despite his depiction of breasts and genitalia, Jungkook’s painting was a reflection and appreciation of a body. 

You wondered if it was anyone’s body in particular. 

The thought soured your mood a bit, and you quickly returned your focus to finding the supplies you needed. Satisfied, you took up the easel beside Jungkook. What the fuck were you going to paint? Especially now that you had this beautiful work blooming next to you. 

“Don’t think about it so much. Just go for it.” 

There was Jungkook reading your mind again. 

You weren’t sure how much time passed with the two of you working silently. At first you’d considered doing something abstract, but eventually you felt compelled to do something a bit more realistic. You’d retrieved your phone (ignoring your roommates’ texts again) to pull up a photo for reference as you painted. 

After a while Jungkook lifted his finished painting and carried it to the rack to dry. By the time he had completed his painting, you were putting your final touches on yours - one that was far more simplistic. You found it entertaining, though. 

“Who is that?” 

You’d been so absorbed in getting those final details perfected that you hadn’t noticed Jungkook standing right behind you. You jumped slightly and that elicited a chuckle from the boy. 

“It’s a portrait of Bad Bunny.” Your greatest celebrity crush. 

“He’s cute. You did a good job considering you looked so scared to start.” His comment left your cheeks burning. You’d hoped it hadn’t been so obvious, but Jungkook was too observant for his own good (and for yours, too). “Maybe I should hire you as my assistant.”

“Thanks. It’s not as good as yours, though.” 

Jungkook waved you off and the action made him realize he had a good amount of paint on his hands. Rather than find a towel, he simply rubbed his hands against his thighs. You watched him, eyes lingering on the way his thighs stretched the tight material of his jeans. Looking up to return to his face you were met with a smirk. You were doing a real shitty job at being subtle, apparently. 

You chose not to say anything and focused your attention on finishing your painting, not wanting Jungkook to be waiting for you longer than he needed to. He sat down on the couch, now distracted by his phone. 

“So,” you spoke as you lifted up your finished painting, following Jungkook’s instructions to put it on the drying rack. “What was the inspiration for your painting?” 

Was it a bold question? You were trying to play it off like you weren’t going to cling to whatever his answer was. 

Jungkook patted the space next to him to encourage you to sit down. Once you were sitting next to him, your body turned slightly to face him, Jungkook leaned forward. His face was mere inches from yours and you could feel his breath tickle your cheek. He watched you with those brown doe eyes, such an innocent feature on an otherwise devious-looking face. The smirk that formed on his lips strongly contrasted the sweetness of his eyes. 

Jungkook’s tongue poked out to play with his lip ring before he answered your question. It was impossible to look away from his lips, and you thought you felt your heart stop. 

“The deadline.” 

The smirk grew deeper as he pulled away, running a hand through his hair. You were more than disappointed, feeling yourself deflate and finally realizing you’d been holding your breath. Your shoulders slumped slightly, but you managed to mask the reason for your disappointment by pretending you were disappointed in him. 

“Boy, you need to work on your assignments earlier so you can come up with something good,” you huffed, crossing your arms against your chest. 

“Was it not good?” He grinned, a cocky twinkle in his eyes, no longer doe-shaped but narrowed in mirth. “Come on, let me drop you off. It’s almost 2.” 

“Fuck, I have an 8am.” 

With a quick check on your phone you saw that it was indeed almost 2am. How had you spent almost four hours in the studio without realizing it? Nevermind the fact that you’d spent another three or four hanging out with Jungkook before you’d even gotten to the studio. 

“I’d skip if I was you.” 

Jungkook led you through the art building and to his car, making sure that the music didn’t startle you half to death when he started the car this time. 

“Unlike you, I’m a good student, thanks.” 

It wasn’t a terrible dig because you knew Jungkook enough to know he didn’t give a shit. All he’d do was give you a small smile and melt your heart with the confusion of how it was possible for someone to look both so soft and so dangerous. 

Your dorm was on the other side of campus, so the drive over was quick. But rather than drop you off at the sidewalk, Jungkook pulled into the parking lot, much to your surprise. 

“I thought you were staying over at your parents’?” 

Jungkook kept the car running, but he unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned back in his chair.

“Me and Tae are gonna go smoke. I got this new strain of indica we wanna try.”

He didn’t look at you when he spoke, instead facing forward to peer out the window. Once he brought up weed, you realized you could smell the remnants of weed smoke in Jungkook’s car, partially masked by air freshener. 

At the mention of Jungkook’s roommate you felt your stomach drop. The feeling was only intensified when you followed Jungkook’s gaze to see a figure with long legs and broad shoulders make their way down the sidewalk, heading right in your direction. You felt ice shoot through your veins and panic settle into your chest. 

“Oh,” you squeaked out. You needed to escape, but you couldn’t force your hands to unbuckle yourself and open the door. 

“Do you wanna come with us?” Jungkook took your lack of movement as a desire to get high. 

You looked at Jungkook with an open mouth, but nothing came out. And even if you could speak, Taehyung was already flinging the car door open. 

“Oh, shit, Y/N. I didn’t even see you there.” Taehyung leaned against the car door, eyes sweeping over your small figure as you attempted to look as relaxed as possible. 

Did he lick his lips or were you just imagining that? 

“Want me to sit in the back?” 

Taehyung leaned down so he could poke his head into the car and talk to Jungkook right over you. The position gave you a perfect view of his neck and his collarbones peeking out from beneath the silk button-up shirt he was wearing, the first few buttons undone as usual. His cologne smelled like cedar and you could faintly smell something fruity, likely the strawberry-flavored vape he smoked. 

All of that was enough to send you mentally screaming into the void. 

“ThanksJungkookIgottago,” you sputtered, doing your best not to touch Taehyung as you moved around him to get out.

“Y/N!” 

You ignored Jungkook’s call, not daring to look back. Despite your exhaustion you took the stairs two at a time until you made it to your dorm, nearly dropping your keys as you unlocked the door. The kitchen and living room were dark, so you knew your roommates were asleep - or at least in their own rooms. You didn’t even bother to do your nighttime routine, opting to strip down to your underwear and collapse into your bed face-first. 

Darkness and silence brought you no solitude; quite honestly, they had the opposite effect. All you had in your head was Taehyung’s face… in your ears, his voice… in your nostrils, his smell. 

Groaning, you flipped onto your back and grabbed your phone to put on your favorite thunderstorm white noise playlist. In the middle of picking the perfect sound, your phone buzzed with a text. 

Jungkook (Poetry) [2:15] you good?

You bit your lip, not wanting to leave him hanging so late, but also knowing if you went down this rabbithole you’d never fall asleep. 

[2:16] I’m fine

Your phone vibrated almost immediately, but you forced yourself to put it away. Whatever Jungkook had to say could wait until the morning. Or until never, because right now you never wanted to speak to another human ever again.

-

Jungkook (Poetry) [2:16] you don’t have to lie to me Jungkook (Poetry) [3:02] lying destroys our intrinsic value as human beings by corrupting our ability to make rational choices and have free will Jungkook (Poetry) [3:03] immanuel kant said that

You didn’t realize you’d be hit with a philosophical lecture the moment you woke up, but then you remembered that Jungkook had gone smoking with Taehyung. The two of them got all philosophical when they were high, as if they really could achieve some kind of superior knowledge. 

They were idiots. 

“Oh my god, when the fuck did you get home last night?” 

Anyone speaking that loud and harshly so early in the morning was an assailant. You glared at Courtney, brushing past her to get to the bathroom. You shouldn’t have been surprised that the girl stayed outside the bathroom door as she waited for you to finish. 

“It was definitely after 1am ‘cause that’s when we went to bed,” she kept on talking even when you turned the shower on. “What could you guys have possibly been doing that whole time? Did you hook up?” 

“No.”

“What?” Courtney strained to hear you over the sound of the high-pressure water. 

“I said, no!” 

It was ridiculous that you were standing there, rubbing your naked body down with lavender exfoliating soap, while you discussed your alleged hook up with a guy you barely knew. 

You thanked the Lord Almighty that your schedule didn’t line up with your roommates on Wednesdays, or else you would have had to suffer Courtney and Amiriah’s interrogations the whole day. 

Instead you sleepily dragged yourself through two morning classes and a work shift at the university library before you’d eventually have to face Jungkook head-on. 

-

Your Advanced Poetry class was small enough that all the students could sit around a large table together. The small, intimate class size made it easier for collaboration and made workshops feel a bit less ruthless. You’d gotten to the point that you could read anonymous poems from each of your classmates and know exactly who wrote what. You were like a little family who met every Wednesday evening for two hours and poured your thoughts, dreams, fears, and goals into each other with every written piece. This class was going to be what broke your heart when the semester was over; you could already feel yourself missing it. 

“Alright, y’all, we’re going to workshop the imitation poems from the exercise last week.”

You felt your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. Whatever else Professor Mendez was saying didn’t compute; she sounded like she was speaking underwater and all you could do was shift your eyes to look at Jungkook across the table from you. You hadn’t expected him to be already looking at you nor for him to hold your gaze until you quickly looked away. 

The poem you’d written for the exercise was about Taehyung. 

You’d thought only your professor was ever going to see it. And now she was calling on you to read yours aloud first. No one else would know who it was about, but you knew Jungkook would know. 

“Y/N?” 

Professor Mendez looked at you, her star pupil, with an encouraging smile. You swallowed, avoiding Jungkook’s gaze though you felt him staring. If you kept the piece of paper on the table in front of you, you wouldn’t risk showing everyone that your hands were slightly trembling. And then you opened your mouth. 

I SAW YOU ONCE IN A FEVER DREAM  (After Kaveh Akbar) I saw you once in a fever dream shirtless  swaddling me in a hammock hanging from cedar trees   When you smoke it gets stuck   in your hair Save it for later The smell of marijuana   and strawberry vapes     lingered in my clothes     In another fever   dream you were my mother The doctor asked if I am  allergic to any medications and I should   have said yes but it is only you   I have felt love flow through me I have never felt   it given My friend once told me  there is only so much you can do   At what point am I the problem   Sometimes I stare at the wall and peel the nails  off of my fingers for every time you broke me  Somehow it feels better this way  

It was depressing, pathetic even. Sure, you’d imitated Kaveh Akbar’s unique writing style to a T, but now you looked stupid for writing about a man you’d never even dated, who had unofficially “dumped” you last spring semester. Jungkook had to know. Unless he was completely oblivious (which was honestly likely, when you really thought about it). And maybe you were being too cocky, assuming some guy who you meant nothing to would care or even pay attention to the fact that his friend had fucked you into a broken heart. 

You sat with tight lips as the class discussed your poem, a few people put off by your use of space on the page, others praising your unique way of formatting the stanzas. Jungkook never spoke, but he never did until the end of class when Professor Mendez called him out for being silent. Then he would provide feedback for whoever had gone before him, his opinion usually directly contradicting whatever your professor said. She knew he wasn’t being defiant, and she welcomed his creative challenge of the status quo. But sometimes he was a bit much. 

“Well, Mr. Jungkook. Let’s hear yours.” 

You could feel the entire room both tense and lean forward, as if scared but also unimaginably eager for whatever it was they were about to receive. 

“I didn’t finish, but I can read what I have. It’s a prose poem.” 

UNTITLED I met her in the evaporated residue of a midnight bong rip. Among glimmers of artificially-simulated worlds, of over-saturated hues. Hurried hues of a purple-pink bruise, bloom, slippery between thighs. Tongue flicks. Slide. These things only happen behind closed doors. An eternity of almosts, she likes to wear my hand as a choker. Drag me whole into desire, into pink folds and broken promises. Drip slick slow stroke glide and move inside, eat feast thrive. Beat it up every time. Pulsate. Pulsate. Own it. My hands on your hips. Blindfold over your eyes. Selfish fuck. I am a decomposing mind; her body whispers otherwise. 

Jungkook could have written a poem about dog shit and the way he recited it would have been breathtaking. It didn’t matter that his lines were verging on pornographic for an academic setting; simply the way the alliteration flowed like honey from his mouth was enough to send shivers down anyone’s spine. The words came out like a gentle lullaby of filth, a smooth mantra, a promise of sin. It was no wonder the classroom fell silent. Even Professor Mendez stared at Jungkook with an unreadable expression on her face. 

“Thank you, Jungkook,” she said after a moment. 

He nodded politely and slouched into his seat again. 

Professor Mendez looked around the room for the first volunteer to take a stab at critiquing Jungkook’s poem. Only a brave soul could manage, and you were determined to keep your mouth shut. You could already visualize the way your classmates were going to gossip about this once class was over. You wondered how long it would take for Courtney and Amiriah to find out. 

“Who would like to go first?” 

It appeared the class had very few critiques, likely because no one wanted to dive too deeply into the abstract and overtly-sexual writing that had been. 

Professor Mendez went on a mini rant about the importance of knowing how to keep the flow of a prose poem that somehow derailed into a story about her new puppy. Perhaps someone had gotten her going to kill the last few minutes of class until it was 8pm and she was forced to let the group of you go into the night. 

You always managed to be the last person leaving the classroom every Wednesday night. Usually it was due to your prolonged conversations with Professor Mendez, the two of you gushing over a new poetry collection or the latest episode of a TV show. Jungkook, on the other hand, was typically the first to leave. Likely to go find his little crew of delinquents to do drugs with or whatever else they got themselves into. 

Except apparently not today. 

As you waved a goodbye to Professor Mendez, you headed down the empty hallway fully aware of the second pair of shoes echoing in the silence along with yours. Your insides were still scrambled from the series of exceptionally unfortunate events that had involved Kim Taehyung in the past twenty-four hours. You had no desire to entertain Jungkook, especially not after him staring you down all of class. And reading that fucking poem. 

“Are you really gonna ignore me?” 

You squeezed the straps of your backpack and stopped in front of the door to leave the academic building. If you acted bothered it would make you more suspicious. And it would let Kim Taehyung continue to rule your mind. You were better than this… 

So you turned around to face the doe-eyed boy and tried not to imagine his hand squeezing your throat. 

“I’m not ignoring you.” You cocked your head to one side in feigned confusion. Jungkook met your look with a small pout. 

“I’m sorry if I did something to upset you yesterday.” 

So, he didn’t know. Either that, or he was lying. But didn’t Immanuel Kant say lying is bad? You did everything in your power not to scowl to yourself. 

“I’m fine, Jungkook. I swear.” You let out an irritated sigh, casting a glance behind your shoulder as you heard thunder ripple through the air outside. You’d obviously forgotten to check the weather that morning, looking down at your t-shirt and shorts. 

“Okay…” He eyed you skeptically, but he didn’t want to push you further and threaten pushing you away completely. “Can I walk with you?” 

“Of course.” He lived literally across the hall from you. You could open your door and be face-to-face with his. 

“Okay… Can I give you a hug?” 

You rolled your eyes so far and deep inside your skull it was a surprise they didn’t detach and disappear somewhere. It wasn’t fair that you were taking out your frustrations on Jungkook simply because your ego was hurt. That self-awareness was what made you nod your head with your arms outstretched. 

Jungkook enveloped you in his large frame, the side of your face pressed against his chest. One of his arms wrapped around your waist, and he held the back of your head in his free hand. There was something about Jungkook’s closeness that caught you off guard. Perhaps it was because this was the first time you’d ever hugged each other; you’d never been this physical with each other at all, actually. You weren’t much of the hugging type, anyway. 

Jungkook’s warmth made you settle into his embrace for much longer than you’d expected. He felt soft, safe. Even the chemical smell of paint that had seeped into his hoodie was welcoming. Despite the rumbling of a heavy thunderstorm outside, you could still hear his heart beat beneath you. Something about that realization made you pull away from him suddenly. It was just too… close. 

He stared at you with a wrinkled brow and the pout was slowly coming back, but he stayed silent. You couldn’t meet his eyes. 

“Ready?”

 With raised shoulders you braced yourself for the downpour. 

By the time the two of you had sprinted across the courtyard, you were completely soaked. You felt your earlier frustrations melt with the water droplets gliding down your arms as you leaned against Jungkook’s equally-soaked body. He was nearly doubled over in laughter, shoulder pressed against the wall next to the front door of his dorm room. 

“You look like a wet cat,” he teased. 

“Oh yeah? Well you look like a wet dog.” Your poor hair was going to get embarrassingly frizzy if you didn’t take care of it immediately. 

Jungkook flashed you an evil grin and violently shook his head, sending water spraying all over. 

“Jungkook, stop!” you hollered, giving him a shove. “I feel so gross already.” 

You twisted around to fish out your dorm key from your backpack, but your fingers scraped the bottom of the pocket. No key. 

“Fuck,” you cursed, setting your backpack on the ground to search through more pockets. Giving up on that possibility, you checked the pockets of your shorts. Nothing. 

Unlocking your phone, your thumb hovered over your roommate group text, unsure if you should interrupt Amiriah and Courtney. It was a little after 8pm… Both of your roommates would be in their weekly sorority meeting that usually lasted at least an hour, if not two. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“I… locked myself out.” What a fucking rookie mistake. What was this, freshman year? “I’m pretty sure I left my keys on the kitchen table.” 

Now you were stranded in your hallway, cold and soaking wet. You could go downstairs to ask your RA to let you in, but she was a bitch. 

“You’re a mess. Come on, I’ve got clothes for you.” 

He didn’t give you the opportunity to protest; instead, he stepped inside his dorm without even so much as a look over his shoulder at you. 

Apparently your desire to be warm and dry was stronger than your fear of entering the Dorm Room from Hell. You’d never been in Jungkook’s dorm before, mostly because you didn’t want to run into Taehyung. 

The layout was the same as yours: full kitchen with adjacent living room, long hall with individual bedrooms that ended with a bathroom. The decorations practically screamed “guys who smoke weed” considering the giant marijuana leaf tapestry hanging in the living room and the multicolored string lights that hung on the ceiling casting a psychedelic glow throughout the dorm. An incense that smelled interestingly like the ocean was burning on the coffee table. 

You were pretty sure burning incense wasn’t allowed on university property. Then again, neither was smoking weed in the parking lot, but Jungkook and his roommates did whatever they wanted. 

“Are you just gonna stand there or…?” 

Jungkook led the way down the hall, you trailing a bit behind him as you continued being nosy. As you passed the first bedroom, the door suddenly swung open, causing you to yelp when you were face-to-face with a rather grumpy looking man with shockingly green hair. The bleary look of his eyes told you he’d been asleep. 

“Why the fuck are you wet?” 

You did a double take, shocked at the roughness of the question from a stranger. Before you could answer, Jungkook was pulling you forward by the wrist. 

“Hyung, I went to the grocery store today. There’s tangerines on the counter.” 

The green-haired roommate grumbled a thank you and shot straight to the kitchen. 

“Just ignore Yoongi,” Jungkook whispered, stopping in front of his bedroom. “He’s a fifth-year senior and probably ready to burn the entire university down.” 

Jungkook’s bedroom was the exact opposite of what you’d expected. After seeing the chaos of his art studio, you’d thought his bedroom would be much of the same. Instead you were met with a simple, organized room. No clutter, no mess. Everything had its place, not an art supply in sight. Peaking over his shoulder, you saw even his dresser drawers were organized, each article of clothing neatly folded. That was likely why Jungkook was able to quickly pick out a t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts to hand you. 

“Oh, and this,” he tossed you a towel, as well. “You can use the bathroom. I’ll be in here.” 

“Thank you,” you said with an appreciative nod. 

The skin on your fingers had wrinkled up from the rain and you pressed them into the towel to find some relief. Who knew the feeling of wearing dry clothes would be so sweet? You took your time in the bathroom, rubbing down every inch of your body. Unfortunately, even your underwear and bra were soaked. If you put on dry clothes over them, the water would surely bleed into the fabric. So you opted for going commando, to your dismay. At least Jungkook’s t-shirt was baggy enough that your chest wasn’t on full display, and it wasn’t like anyone would know you weren’t wearing underwear. 

You caught a look at yourself in the mirror and laughed at how ridiculous you looked. It was like you’d come out of a really bad hip-hop music video from the early 2000s, literally drowning in baggy clothes. 

“Hey Jungkook… Do you have something I could put my clothes in?” You stood in the hallway in front of Jungkook’s bedroom, wet clothes in your hands. The door was closed and you were afraid of opening it if he was still changing. 

“You look cute.” 

You instinctively squeezed your bundle of clothes, turning your head to the side at the sound of that Mother. Fucking. Annoying. Ass. Voice. 

Taehyung raised an eyebrow at you, probably utterly confused as to why you looked the way you did, standing there in his dorm. You were determined to give him absolutely nothing. 

“So, you and Jungkook, huh?” 

A small smirk twisted at the corners of his mouth. By the way he was standing with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, it was clear that he wasn’t planning on walking away. 

“We just got back from class,” you said matter-of-factly. 

You focused on a spot on the wall to the right of his head when you spoke; it made it easier to look at him without having to stare into his eyes. Even though you found absolutely nothing about your statement funny, Taehyung started laughing. It was a low chuckle that brought that stupid smirk out even more. 

“Were you coming back from class at 2 o’clock this morning, too?” 

His eyes glinted with something that made a shiver shoot down the length of your spine. 

Luckily, Jungkook’s abrupt presence swinging the bedroom door open gave you and Taehyung someone else to focus on, and you could safely escape the fact that you didn’t have a witty comeback to shove in Taehyung’s face for teasing you about Jungkook. There was nothing there with Jungkook.  

He just gave nice hugs. And you respected his creative mind. And he had great taste in music. And you felt a little bit bad for him because people didn’t seem to give him the chances he deserved. And, wow, he was standing in the doorway of his bedroom wearing form-fitting gray sweatpants that sat low on his hips and you could tell that they sat low because he was shirtless. And your eyes were skipping down the path that his happy trail was leading from his belly button down to the strings of his sweatpants that hung down just on top of where you could make out a slight bulge in the fabric. 

“Y/N?” 

You quickly tore your eyes from Jungkook’s crotch to look at his face, not missing the way Taehyung’s smirk was growing even wider. You opened your mouth, then looked down at your clothes, then back at Jungkook. 

“She wants something to put her clothes in,” Taehyung admitted once it was clear you weren’t going to cooperate. “I’m going over to Natalie’s. Oh, and I dipped into your Trojan stash. Yoongi hyung didn’t have any and you have too many.” 

He flashed Jungkook a grin and pushed himself from his leaning position on the wall. 

“Have fun,” he offered over his shoulder as he walked away, heading to go fuck his girlfriend’s brains out. 

You were going to throw up. 

“What a fucking asshole,” you breathed through gritted teeth. 

Rather than be surprised at your cursing, Jungkook gave you a sympathetic look as he took your wet clothes from you to put in a small duffle bag. 

“I’m sorry…” he said after a moment, gesturing for you to step into his bedroom. He closed the door behind you and hopped onto his bed. Just as he’d done in the studio, he patted the space next to him to get you to sit with him. 

“C’mere.” 

“Jungkook, I don’t wanna bother you anymore. You’ve had to deal with me a lot the past 24 hours.” 

“Do I look bothered?”

You gave the boy a tight shake of your head and clambered onto the bed beside him, careful to sit hunched over a bit so your chest wouldn’t be too obvious. For once, he no longer smelled like paint. Instead your senses were overwhelmed by the strong scent of his laundry detergent, something akin to the ocean breeze of the incense the roommates were burning in the living room. He leaned his back against the headboard, but he turned at an angle to look at you from the side. 

“He told me about you two…” 

You felt your body stiffen at his confession and Jungkook rushed to finish his thought. 

“Not the details or anything. But just that you were hooking up.” 

Great. This was perfect. Leave it to Taehyung to treat you like a secret yet blabber to his friends. You hadn’t even told any of your friends about Taehyung. To this day, Courtney and Amiriah had no idea. And could you even trust Jungkook when he said the details were spared? Didn’t boys love to talk about their sexual conquests? 

“I’m sorry he’s such a fuckboy.” 

“Oh, like you aren’t, too?” 

“What?!” 

Jungkook stared at you incredulously, shocked by your sudden aggression. But you couldn’t stop yourself. The anger you’d let fester in you from countless boys quite literally fucking you over was all spilling over the top. It was just unfortunate that Jungkook was there to bear the weight rather than Taehyung; but you didn’t think he was wholly innocent either. College boys were entitled and selfish. Even though Jungkook had never done anything to you, you’d seen how some girls followed after him like he was some kind of mystery meant to be solved. He never explicitly talked about his love life with you, but you only took that as a bad sign. 

“Oh don’t act brand new, Jungkook. You literally make everything about sex. Literally all your poems are about eating pussy. You made that fucking painting of a naked women. And what the fuck is that?” 

Your arm shot out to point at a painting hanging on his wall that looked vaguely like an abstract rendition of a vulva. It somehow felt like the icing on the fucked up cake. 

“It’s called artistic appreciation!”

“You’re just as gross as Taehyung and all the other guys who just use women for their bodies and don’t give a fuck about how we feel or-”  

“Stop it.” Jungkook’s voice hit you like ice. You dropped your arm down and whipped your head back around to look at him, lips falling open at the harshness of his tone. 

“Don’t compare me to Tae. You don’t know what I’m like. You barely know me at all.” 

“That’s not-” 

“I said stop, okay?” he interjected again and the glare he sent you was enough to shut you up for good. Being scolded wasn’t exactly high on your list of favorite activities, especially not from someone you considered to be a friend. Your cheeks felt like they were on fire and you struggled to swallow down your words, shame creeping up your face in waves.

“I’ve spent the last four months in that poetry class watching you write about feeling broken and alone and misunderstood. And you know what I do? I invite you over to do homework ‘cause I know none of your other friends are studying English. And I asked you to go to Morgan Parker’s book reading with me ‘cause I knew you didn’t have anyone else to go with. And I invited you to my studio ‘cause you said you wish you were good at art and I wanted you to see that you could be good if you tried.” 

At this point his cheeks had turned bright pink and his hands were bunched up into fists in his lap. As much as you wanted to, you couldn’t look away from the fire in his eyes. 

“I’m not trying to make you feel like you owe me anything or to get some kind of recognition, okay? But just don’t fucking compare me to Tae when all I’ve ever tried to do is make you feel less alone. I like you, a lot. And I don’t even care that you’re not into me and you’re still caught up on him. I genuinely just want you to be happy.” 

With his monologue over, Jungkook turned his head to stare down at his hands, leaving you to peer at his profile with your mouth hanging open. 

It was the most you’d heard Jungkook speak, ever. It was also the most expressive you’ve ever seen him. Despite his passion for art, Jungkook was a very level person; he was collected even in the most stressful situations. To see him visibly shaking as he raised his voice was upsetting. 

“Jungkook…” You reached out to touch his arm and your heart broke into a million pieces when he flinched. 

“It’s whatever.” 

But it wasn’t. 

You felt like shrinking into the smallest version of yourself and disappearing. You’d spent so much time aching over the wounds Taehyung had left that you hadn’t considered what you might be missing out on, or how you might have been hurting someone else. Your head was lost in the dark cloud hanging over you; your heart couldn’t see anything in front of you. Blinded by your own pain, healing long overdue. 

You were so fucking stupid. 

“JK…” you started again. Lifting your hand, you brought your fingers to his chin and encouraged him to turn his head to look at you. “I’m so sorry. I really am. I just… It hurts? I don’t know what to do with the hurt.” 

From Taehyung and every other reckless boy. 

You let go of his face and waited, holding your breath until your lungs burned. Much to your disappointment, Jungkook maintained that cold stare, his eyes boring into yours so deeply that you felt like he was seeing something inside of you that even you didn’t know. You were afraid to look at him, shame making it difficult to hold your head up.  

“Give it to me.” 

“What?” It was your turn to cast your eyebrows down in confusion. 

“Give me the hurt. You don’t have to hold onto it anymore. I can take it.” His large hand enveloped your own, thumb running figure 8s into your skin.

You tried to speak, but you couldn’t choke out even a whisper as his words repeated in your head. Give me the hurt. Your hands shivered beneath his and you looked away quickly, feeling that horrid prickling in the corner of your eyes. You were not going to lose it just because you were touch-starved and never once in your life had someone so soundly declared their desire to take on whatever pain it was that you were feeling. You liked to keep your pain a secret, only letting out emotions through your poetry. And even then, you wanted to separate yourself from it. Writing was like putting down your emotion, letting it exist outside of you, so you could live free from it. But that didn’t always happen the way you wanted it to. 

You blinked quickly, losing focus on Jungkook’s face until you felt something hot slip down your cheek and you realized you were crying. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, embarrassment flooding your chest as you tried not to hiccup. What kind of emotional disaster were you? As Courtney would say, it wasn’t very girlboss of you. 

“I can take it.” 

This time the embers had gone out in his eyes. Instead, his irises were pleading with you. You tried to cover your face with your hands, but Jungkook held them down. He brushed your cheeks dry with his thumb, cradling your chin in his palm. 

“You deserve better, okay?” 

It was difficult to believe, but the soft gaze Jungkook held made you want to think maybe he was right. But how could it be possible for someone to want to carry your burden for you? He had no reason to. 

“I’m good now,” you said after a moment, the tears dried and your breathing returning to normal. You wanted to give him an out, let him have the opportunity to feel like he’d done his part in case he didn’t really mean what he said. You refused to let yourself fall for anymore bullshit. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” 

“You don’t have to lie to me…” 

There was that familiar line. You felt your eyes instinctually roll and you couldn’t stop the next snarky comment from slipping past your lips, using biting humor as a defense mechanism to cope. 

“Okay, Immanuel Kant.” 

Jungkook snorted, matching your eye roll, but he gave you a smile that reached his eyes. A classic Jungkook grin that had you giving a small smile in return and making your stomach flip like a fucking gymnast. It made you slowly float back down to reality and you remembered you were sitting in a shirtless Jungkook’s bed, his body leaned forward out of concern for you, his face mere inches from yours. Hand still cradling your chin. 

“Jungkook…” 

Your voice got caught in your throat with what little breathing you could manage. Then you watched his eyes drop to your lips as you whispered his name, and the melancholic look he gave you when his gaze returned to yours made you squeeze your eyes shut with guilt. He’d confessed his interest in you and you’d completely glossed over it. Not on purpose, but somehow you were making your feelings the priority once again. And now he looked at you like you were already gone. 

“Yeah, Y/N?” You opened your eyes at his call. 

“I…” 

You wanted to tell him how you felt, you really did. But life had taught you that in relationships there was always someone who cared more, and that person always got hurt the most. You just couldn’t keep being that person. 

Jungkook studied your face for what felt like an eternity. If he was expecting you to finish your sentence, he was certainly being patient. But it was the way his mouth turned downward into a small frown and his eyes traveled off somewhere behind you that told you he’d lost hope. 

Until he was staring at you once again and his grip on your chin tightened so subtly you almost didn’t notice. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

His voice came out low and thick. The tone sent a shiver down your spine and made goosebumps rise along your forearms. You’d never heard his voice drop so deep before, nor had you seen his eyes darken the way they had now. A spark of desire fluttered in your stomach and you felt nearly lightheaded from the way your body was hitting a peak level of anxiety over his question. If you said yes, were you just giving into yet another boy who would ruin you? And you believed Jungkook could ruin you. He was an artist; they were always trouble. 

But there was no denying the fact that your nervousness was merely a physical response to your interest in Jungkook that had grown exponentially over time. You were weak, and he was right. You did feel broken and alone and misunderstood. And you knew that sometimes Jungkook felt that way, too.

Just when Jungkook began to pull away with a look of rejection written across his face, you nodded. Unable to speak, you watched Jungkook’s tongue swipe across his bottom lip as he leaned in even closer. 

You were prepared for something much more lewd than what Jungkook gave you. Though your lips were parted, he didn’t invade your space. Instead of tongue and lip biting, you were met with a chaste kiss. His lips were soft and gentle, and the way his hand cupped your face made you feel secure, just as you’d felt when he hugged you. You’d never felt a sense of security with someone from a simple kiss. 

And then he was ending the kiss just as quickly as he’d started it, finally dropping his hand from your face. 

“Sorry,” he sighed, no longer meeting your eyes when he spoke. “I shouldn’t have asked. I don’t want you to feel like you had to agree to that…” 

It was your turn to shut him up. Maybe it was the remaining hormones swirling in your brain from having cried so much, or the adrenaline from being kissed by a man you’d tried to shoo out of your mind, but you felt bold enough to take his chin in your hand as he had done to you. You pressed your lips against his, this time forcing his mouth into a faster, deeper rhythm. The kiss was heavy and more desperate than the first. It was what you’d initially expected Jungkook to give you; a makeout that went hard and fast from the beginning, 0 to 100. That was what fuckboys did, wasn’t it? Anything to get their dick wet the quickest. 

It was what you were used to.

Your small hands found the tops of his shoulders, fingers running along his smooth, warm skin before you pushed him against the headboard. Swinging your leg over his, your knees sank into the soft bed as you straddled him. You adjusted slightly in his lap and the shift made your core press directly on top of the bulge in his pants that you’d admired earlier. This realization made the sudden heat between your legs melt like lava, and you ground your hips into his in a smooth but firm motion. 

The movement elicited a deep groan from the back of Jungkook’s throat, another sweet sound you’d never had the pleasure of hearing fall from his lips. With his lips parted from groaning, you took the opportunity to slip your tongue inside of his mouth. His hands pushed up the hem of your shirt just enough to allow him to reach the skin of your waist, gripping you hard as your body moved against his. 

“Y/N, wait.” 

Jungkook pulled back to lean his head against the bed’s headboard and you were met not with lust-filled eyes as you expected, but eyes that looked so deeply pained you almost wanted to avert your gaze. 

“I don’t wanna be a rebound. I want this to mean something, or else I can’t do this.” 

Jungkook’s voice came out hoarse, and it trembled. His eyes still held that undeniable sadness that reminded you that, once again, you had failed to see how your own fear of rejection had made you ignorant to the feelings you were instilling in him. Here he was, willing to give himself over to you, holding back because he was afraid that you would hurt him.

Once again, shame flooded your face as you frantically searched for a way to show that you needed this to mean something, that in just a few months he had become the most constant person in your life, the person you were most comfortable with even when all you often did was just sit and talk about life. 

There was an obvious way to fix this, but you still had that gnawing feeling holding you back. 

“I like you, too, Jungkook.” Squeezing your eyes shut, you spoke just barely above a whisper. If you didn’t look at him, the vulnerability of the moment would be easier to manage. “You’re kind and smart even though you’re always toeing the line of academic probation.” 

Your words came out rushed, the last comment making you let out a laugh that sounded more like a short burst of air, and you held onto his shoulders for dear life. 

“And you’re the most creative and imaginative person I’ve ever met, but you’re so lowkey about everything. You deserve more than you give yourself credit for,” you continued, eyes still closed. “And… I guess you’re kinda hot…” 

With that you slowly opened one eye to peek at Jungkook’s face. It was embarrassing to say that the grin he wore made your heart soar and it was only then that you noticed the way his fingertips were running along your sides, tracing invisible designs onto your skin. 

“Only kinda hot?” 

“Oh shut up.” 

You gave him a playful slap against his chest. You let your hand linger there, palm pressed against him to feel the strength of his pec muscle. With your bottom lip pulled between your teeth, you ran your hand down the length of Jungkook’s chest and along his abdomen until you reached between your bodies to access the hem of his sweatpants. 

Without warning you gripped his cock, palming it over his pants. You felt it twitch beneath your fingers, already semi-hard and warm even through the fabric. Jungkook let out a low groan, hips slightly bucking into you. Suddenly aware of how painfully clothed you are, Jungkook slid his hands back up your sides, pushing his t-shirt off of you in the process. Ruining the orderly look of his bedroom, he tossed the t-shirt and brought his attention back to you. 

“Fuck, Y/N,” he hissed, realizing that you weren’t wearing a bra. 

You shuddered at the gentle way he ran his fingers up your sides once more and you leaned forward when his tattooed fingers lightly pinched one of your nipples until it went hard. Then he moved onto the other one, tweaking it slowly. 

After a moment you let go of him and reached for the hem of his sweatpants, waiting for him to lift his body so you could pull them down his legs. 

He’s big, bigger than you’d expected. You’d imagined he would have a nice dick, purely because it seemed like the most mysterious, standoffish guys always did. They didn’t have to compensate by being boisterous and arrogant; they knew what they were packing and that was enough. But Jungkook was quite possibly too much. You were a small person, for fuck’s sake. 

“We don’t have to do this. If you’re not ready, we can stop.” 

There was Jungkook reading your mind, yet again. How was it possible for him to know exactly what to say every single time? Were you just that expressive? If so, no one else in your life read you so well. 

“Stop talking,” you repeated his earlier command, but you didn’t look him in the eyes. Instead you were focused on how heavy and soft his cock felt in your hand as you admired him. You ran your fingers along the prominent vein on the underside of his cock, then you glided your thumb along the tip to smear the bit of precum that was already leaking. The action made Jungkook whimper and the sound sent a jolt straight into your core. 

But just before you could lower your head down to give him what you knew he wanted, Jungkook’s hand was cupping your chin once again. He pulled your face upwards to guide you back to his. 

“I’m fine, Jungkook. I want to do this,” you assured him, but he slowly shook his head. 

“You’re going in so fast, and you don’t have to. I’m not some asshole hookup. The point of all this isn’t just to get me off and make you put in all the work.” He leaned forward to kiss you on the tip of your nose and you’d never felt more wanted in your entire life. “You deserve to feel good for once.” 

Snaking his arm around your waist, Jungkook gently flipped you onto your back. Spreading your legs apart with his knees, he kneeled over you as he began laying hot kisses down the length of your neck, pausing only to suck at the soft skin where your neck and collarbone met. 

“Jungkook…” you sighed, squirming underneath him once his mouth began to travel further down. 

He flicked his tongue against one of your nipples, drawing a circle around the erect mound. He let out a deep hiss of approval when you moaned, arching your back to push yourself against his mouth. While his tongue was busy exploring your chest, Jungkook took his sweet time pulling his basketball shorts off of you, those too flying across the room. 

When he moved back into a comfortable position between your legs, his thigh brushed against your core and he let out a moan loud enough you were sure his roommates would hear him. 

“Fuck, Y/N, you could’ve warned me you weren’t wearing any underwear,” he groaned, his thigh now glistening with your arousal. 

“Sorry I didn’t think to tell you while I was crying.” 

“So dramatic.” 

You covered your face with your hands in embarrassment that bore even deeper into your soul when a pathetic whimper escaped your lips the moment you felt Jungkook’s hand slip in between your thighs. 

“You’re so fucking wet,” he sighed, effortlessly sliding his fingers along your folds. He ran his fingers up and down slowly as if he were memorizing each crevice and the way your legs jumped when he hit a certain spot, especially once he began stroking your clit. 

He was exploring, you realized. He was learning your body and there was nothing more embarrassing. All you could think about was the fear that Jungkook might not like what he saw. Or that he was comparing you to his past fucks. Or that Taehyung had told him things about your sex life. 

“Why are you hiding from me?”

You felt your hands being pried from your face and lifted over your head. Jungkook pinned your wrists above you, his face now inches from yours. You could see a restrained wildness in his eyes, but his eyebrows were knitted together in frustration. 

“Why?” he repeated. 

You shook your head, but another irritated call of your name made you question your decision to defy him.

“I just don’t want you to be disappointed…” you whispered, avoiding his gaze. 

“Does this seem like disappointment to you?” Jungkook rolled his hips into you, his now rock hard cock sliding against your dripping folds. 

“Ahh, n-no,” you gasped, wiggling under his hold. 

“Okay, so don’t hide from me. Let me take care of you.” 

Letting go of your wrists, Jungkook got off of the bed. You watched him with confusion that slowly melted into a mixture of anxiety and sweet anticipation as he hooked his arms around your thighs, pulling you to the edge of the bed. Falling to his knees, Jungkook let your legs rest on his broad shoulders. You could feel his breath against your skin and it took everything in your power not to begin squirming again when you felt his tongue lick a hot stripe up the inside of your thigh. 

“I want you to watch me while I eat you out,” Jungkook murmured, his dark eyes locking with yours as he leaned forward to plant a kiss against your lower lips. “Okay?” 

You had no choice but to nod in compliance, propping yourself up on your forearms so you could get a better view even though everything in you was screaming to break your gaze. You could hardly believe it was Jungkook staring at you through his bangs from between your legs. Not to mention you were usually very shy when it came to being sexually pleasured - mostly because it rarely happened. Guys were always expecting you to do them favors, not the other way around. You couldn’t even remember the last time a guy had gone down on you. 

But there was no time to be shy when Jungkook abruptly plunged his tongue into your folds. You let out a loud yelp and immediately slapped your hand over your mouth to muffle the remaining squeals threatening to slip from your parted lips. Jungkook chuckled at your response and the vibration made your cunt throb. 

Still, you kept your gaze locked with his as he lapped up your juices, no matter how dirty it made you feel to have those blown out pupils bore into yours. Your eyes only fluttered when his lips found your clit and began to suck on it while his tongue flicked a steady rhythm against it, the two sensations proving to be almost too much for you to handle. Your breathing became ragged as you felt your abdomen tense up. 

“Jungkook,” you whispered a moan, hands gripping the bed sheets so tightly your fingers started to hurt. 

“Hmm, baby? You’re gonna have to speak up.” The new nickname made you whimper. 

As if to encourage you to find your voice, Jungkook slid two fingers inside of you as he returned to pleasuring your clit. The sudden stretch immediately ripped a strangled moan out of you and your hips involuntarily bucked into Jungkook’s face. 

“I’m sorry,” you quickly apologized, but Jungkook only fucked into you harder, expertly curling his fingers at just the right spot to make your legs start to shake. 

“Don’t apologize. You can fuck my face all you want,” he lifted his head up to lick his lips, sending you a wink that made your heart stop. 

He could sense your orgasm coming soon by the way your walls were clenching around his fingers, but he was determined to make it as mind-shattering as possible. Fitting a third finger inside of you, he continued to suck on your clit, tongue swirling to the rhythm of his fingers. 

“Ohh, oh my god,” you sobbed, tears pooling in your eyes as you finally reached your climax. You let out a loud cry, fingers tangled in Jungkook’s hair as you struggled to still your shaking legs. 

Licking a final stripe up your lips, Jungkook lifted his head from your thighs and gave you a satisfied grin. He was truly a sight for sore eyes with his mouth soaked in your arousal and his hair a mess from your fingers running through it. You fell flat on your back, legs dangling off the edge of the bed. 

“You good?”

“I’m going to die.”

Your eyes were on the ceiling but you heard him laugh and you felt his strong arms lift your legs back onto the bed, adjusting you so you were comfortably in the center of the mattress again. 

“Damn, I didn’t realize I was gonna make you tap out so fast,” he teased, lying down beside you. He pressed a kiss against your throat. 

“Everyone says you have great head game and I should’ve taken them more seriously.” 

“Who says that?!” 

You turned onto your side to face him, already rolling your eyes. “Don’t you know the rumors that get spread about you?” 

Jungkook gave you a small shake of his head. “I don’t worry about people. I’m only worried about you.” 

The warm fuzzy feelings his words gave you were too much for you to bear, so you pushed them away by pulling him closer, crashing your lips into his. Jungkook wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you flush up against his chest. You could feel his cock still hard against your leg and it reminded you that this whole situation felt so foreign to you. Never had you been pleasured by a man who expected nothing in return.

“You are art, you know that? A fucking masterpiece,” Jungkook sighed against your lips, pulling away to nuzzle against your neck. 

“Jungkook.”

“Yes, baby?” There was that fucking nickname again making your pussy flutter back to life. 

Instead of answering him, you reached down to grab his cock. He groaned against your throat as you gave him a few slow pumps. He’d taken care of you just as he’d promised, and now you hoped he’d let you take care of him. Not because you felt obligated to, but because you genuinely wanted to. 

Wordlessly, Jungkook rolled you onto your back so that he was hovering over you, his forearms on either side of your head. 

“I want you so bad,” he growled against your ear, hips rolling into your open legs. 

“What are you waiting for?” you whispered. 

“Fuck…” 

You blinked and he was no longer on top of you. Instead he was rummaging through the drawer of his nightstand, eventually pulling out a shiny square packet. For someone normally so calm, Jungkook’s fingers were shaking with need as he rolled the condom on. 

“Is this okay?” He returned to his position between your legs as you laid on your back. Your heart stung at his thoughtfulness, shocked that he was asking you what position you wanted him in. You nodded, spreading your legs wider for him. Jungkook ran his fingers along the inside of your thighs, his head dipped down so his bangs fell forward, partially obstructing your view of his face. 

You gasped when you felt something wet hit your cunt. He’d spit on you. You could feel the extra lubrication slide down your folds and the lewd act made you shiver. Sure, maybe that was fairly tame for some people, but it had your head reeling.  

Holding the base of his cock, Jungkook rubbed the tip along your folds, further smearing his spit and your arousal together. 

“If you want to stop, just tell me,” he said hoarsely, and that was the warning you got before he was sinking his cock into your entrance. 

Despite how relaxed and turned on you felt, the stretch was considerable. You tensed for a moment and Jungkook froze, his eyes meeting yours. With a nod of approval from you, he pushed himself in further, finally bottoming out and holding the position as he waited for you to adjust. You felt so unbelievably full with him inside of you and the pressure of him against your walls was enough to make your legs shake once again. 

After giving you a bit of time, Jungkook began to move his hips, starting with slow but long strokes that got increasingly deeper. 

“Oh god,” he moaned, head hanging down so he could watch his cock disappear into your cunt over and over again. After a while he lifted one of your legs to rest it on his shoulder so he could adjust his angle to thrust into you that much deeper, and the next slam of his body into yours that had his cock make direct contact with your g-spot made you scream. 

“Shit, Y/N, Yoongi’s gonna kill us if you keep screaming like that,” Jungkook said with a grin that very much made it seem like he wouldn’t mind dying for such an offense. 

“You… just feel s-so g-good,” you cried out, your nails clawing at Jungkook’s arms as you searched for something to hold on to. 

He couldn’t possibly have been concerned considering he only thrusted into you even harder. The thing about Jungkook, though, was that he was going hard but he was going slow. He was savoring every time he slid into you, savoring the glisten of his cock as he pulled out. Turning his head to the side, he kissed the leg he’d draped over his shoulder, one hand running down the smooth skin while his other held on tightly to your hip to keep you in place. 

“Fuck, yes baby,” Jungkook groaned. He pressed his fingers against your mouth, gently prying your lips open to stick his thumb in your mouth. The action surprised you, but you obediently sucked on his thumb until he was pulling away again. Reaching between you, he pressed his now wet thumb against your clit and began rubbing circles as he fucked you. 

You whined at the sudden stimulation, your walls fluttering around his cock as your breathing turned into panting. “I’m gonna…” you let out another moan, your walls clenching around Jungkook’s cock. “I’m gonna come again.” 

“That’s right, come on my cock for me, baby. Let go for me.” 

How could Jungkook make dirty talk sound so alluring? So supportive? It was just like his writing, a gentle lullaby of filth. From the look he’d given you earlier, you knew there was a less tame side of him you’d yet to tap into. The memory of his poem flooded your mind, daring you to take things a step further… she likes to wear my hand as a choker…

Reaching out, you grabbed the hand that was holding onto your hip and brought it to rest on your neck. You saw that same wild look flash in Jungkook’s eyes once again, and you knew the action had affected him because his thrusting faltered for a moment. With your lips slightly parted, you tilted your head back slightly to expose more of your throat for him. Jungkook wasn’t sure he’d ever seen a sight more beautiful. 

“Shit, you keep acting up like this I’m gonna fall in love,” he grunted, biting down hard on his bottom lip as he opened up his palm to get a firm grip on your neck. As he resumed his rhythmic thrusting, he squeezed your throat. At first, the decrease in oxygen had you gasping in your body’s natural drive for self-preservation. Once your body and mind adjusted, though, you succumbed to the way your body tingled with excitement. When you moaned, your eyes fluttering and rolling back, Jungkook applied even more pressure. 

You’d never imagined you’d have another orgasm somewhere inside of you so soon after the first, but you were convulsing around Jungkook’s cock just as he asked you to, calling out his name in the sweetest song. 

It wasn’t long before his thrusts became sloppier and his grip on your throat became almost too tight. The string of profanity he growled in your ear as he came made you shiver. Was it really possible that you affected him so deeply? 

Jungkook hovered over you for a moment, attempting to catch his breath. 

“I think that’s the hardest I ever came in my life,” he said weakly, finally mustering up enough strength to pull himself out of you. He left the bed to throw away the soiled condom, you musing at his cute little butt as he sauntered away. 

“You’re welcome,” you said with a grin, though the hoarseness of your voice startled you. You pressed your hand against your throat and winced, not because your throat hurt, but because of the way Jungkook looked at you with deep concern. 

“Did I hurt you?” he asked softly, climbing into bed beside you. 

“Please,” you sighed, snuggling against Jungkook’s chest. “You did me too good.” 

“I’ll fucking do you again, too, if you don’t stop rubbing your thighs against me,” he murmured in your ear, causing you to chuckle lightly. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

A loud knock on the door made you jump, your arm instinctually covering your chest though you knew Jungkook had locked the door. 

“What the fuck,” he whispered, silently willing whoever it was to go away. 

The knocking continued, this time a bit more aggressively. 

“Open up, bro, the light’s on. I know you’re in there,” Taehyung complained from the other side of the door. “You’ve still got my pen.”  

Your eyes grew wide as you looked at Jungkook. 

With a groan, Jungkook got out of bed once again. Grabbing the basketball shorts you’d been wearing, he pulled them on and snagged Taehyung’s vape pen from where it sat atop his dresser. He didn’t bother to put a shirt on or fix his sex hair. 

“Wait,” you whispered. “What about me?” 

“I don’t give a fuck,” Jungkook spoke at a normal volume as if to demonstrate how serious he was about not caring if Taehyung saw you there. 

“Seriously, JK?” Taehyung clearly thought Jungkook’s comment had been directed towards him. 

You quickly grabbed Jungkook’s t-shirt and pulled it on seconds before Jungkook swung the bedroom door open. 

You watched Taehyung’s eyes slowly scan over Jungkook’s appearance. His mouth twisted as though he were about to speak, but then he locked eyes with you where you still sat in Jungkook’s bed, probably looking just as fucked out as Jungkook did. 

“Here.” Jungkook dropped the vape in Taehyung’s open palm. “Need anything else?” 

Taehyung’s eyes made their way back to Jungkook and whatever snarky comment he’d been prepared to make before was now gone. 

“Nah, that’s it, thanks.” 

-

After a week of being exclusive with Jungkook, you felt the need to loop your roomates into the whole situation. Courtney and Amiriah were your best friends, after all. The three of you had been your own Golden Trio since day one freshman year, ending up in the same peer mentor group. The first time you’d all hung out together you’d gone to an off-campus frat party. Barely an hour in and Courtney had been throwing her guts up right into the pool. Needless to say, the three of you had never gone back to that house. As horrifying as it was, you felt like it painted the perfect picture of your relationship. You were all in it for the long haul, no matter how messy. 

But now you had to tell them you were dating the weird guy. 

You kept looking at your phone, checking the time. The two should have been out of their sorority meeting by now, which meant they could arrive at your dorm at any moment. Waiting was nerve-racking. You gnawed on a hangnail, only pulling your gaze from your phone when you felt Jungkook’s strong arms wrap around your waist. He pulled you into his lap on the couch and leaned into you, lightly brushing his lips along your neck, making you shiver. 

“Why do you act like you’re having me meet your parents?” he asked with a small chuckle. 

“Courtney and Amiriah are important to me,” you started, trying to find the correct words to explain your friends. “They’re also really… judgmental, but because they care about me. And they don’t trust men.” Which was fair. You did your best to look out for them as well. 

Jungkook hummed in response but didn’t speak. That didn’t surprise you. A man of few words, you knew he liked to have time to decide how he felt or what he wanted to say about things. 

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” you announced, standing up. Jungkook nodded and leaned back into the couch. Was it a good thing that he didn’t seem nervous? 

Of course the moment you entered the bathroom, Courtney and Amiriah came bustling through the front door. Their loud chatter quickly halted when their eyes fell upon Jungkook lounging on your couch, legs spread and tattooed arm draped across the back of the couch. 

“Hey,” he greeted them with a grin and a nod of his head. 

“Oh, um, hi?” Courtney’s greeting was more of a question. 

“Where’s Y/N?” What Amiriah wanted to ask was how he even got into your dorm, but she didn’t want to be rude. 

“I’m here!” You shuffled into the room, giving your friends a little wave. “Jungkook wanted to hang out here for a change.” 

The boy quirked his eyebrow at you and gave you an amused smile, noticing how you’d made it sound like it was his idea when it most certainly had been yours. Not that it bothered him. If anything, he wanted you to deflect onto him. He’d told you he could take anything you needed to give him, and he’d meant it. 

Jungkook got up from his seat and walked over to the three of you, hands in the front pockets of his jeans. The pose made his biceps and chest more prominent, and you couldn’t help but stare for a moment. God, he was too pretty. 

“I feel bad it’s the first time I’m finally meeting you,” he said in a warm voice. “Y/N never shuts up about how great you two are. Pretty sure I’ve heard the story of The Great Edible Debacle at the Dolph concert about fifty times.” 

You were shocked by how charming he was being. Really laying it on thick. 

“That is a horrible story to be telling people, Y/N! What the fuck,” Amiriah said with a laugh. “We’re only a little bit insane.” 

“And stupid,” Courtney chimed in. 

The four of you continued your bantering as you lounged around the living room, snacking on some food your roommates had brought as leftovers from their sorority meeting. Jungkook fit into the conversation rather neatly, talking a lot more than you’d expected, but still knowing when to sit back and let the girls dominate the conversation. He sat with his arm around your waist, keeping you close but not dipping into any PDA, knowing it would bother you if he did. 

The conversation came to a pause when Jungkook’s phone began to ring, all three pairs of eyes pointed in his direction. 

“Ah, fuck. Tae’s calling me,” he mumbled. “I’ll be right back.” As he stood up, he cupped your face for a moment, running his thumb across your cheek before he was bringing his phone to his ear. 

“Hyungie, what’s up?” Jungkook stepped out into the hallway, closing the front door behind him. 

“Girl, are y’all fucking?!” Amiriah leaned forward with a harsh whisper, excitement dancing in her bright eyes. 

“We’re dating, actually.” 

Courtney let out a squeal, bouncing on her knees where she sat on a pillow on the floor, wrapped in a fluffy blanket. “I knew it, I totally knew it.” 

“I’m gonna admit, weird or not, that man is foine now that I’m seeing him up close.” Amiriah loudly sucked her teeth and shook her head. “He’s got that snatched little waist. And those thighs? He could smash a watermelon.” 

“Okay, okay, but we gotta ask the REAL question here.” Courtney was now plopping down on the couch between you and Amiriah, blanket still in tow. “Did he eat it right?? In the words of Nicki Minaj, do he got good form??” 

You slapped Courtney on the arm in protest, but you were grinning as you spoke. “I almost started crying, it was so good.” 

“WHEW girl, stop it,” Amiriah grabbed your arm and shook it. “Are you willing to share? For charity?” 

Before you could scold your friend for trying to get her hands on your man, Jungkook returned. The shift in the room’s atmosphere was palpable, and the way Courtney and Amiriah watched Jungkook with new interest was almost too obvious. 

He gave you a confused smile as he squeezed onto the couch next to you. 

“So, Jungkook,” Amiriah began and you prayed to God she wouldn’t say anything stupid. “You said you heard stories about us, but we didn’t talk about all the fun things we’ve heard about you!” 

You shot your friend a glare but she was already on a roll with Courtney on her heels. 

“Yeah, we’ve heard all about your poetry,” Courtney added. 

You don’t think your roommates were prepared for the low chuckle that rumbled from Jungkook nor for the dark look in his eyes as he turned to you. He grabbed your hand, intertwining your fingers, and you silently pleaded with him to behave. 

“Yeah, I was trying to give Y/N a preview of what she could be getting.” 

“Jungkook,” you gasped and your friends started talking all at once, but all you could focus on was the way your boyfriend was smirking at you, his tongue playing with his lip ring how he knew you liked. 

He leaned into you, his lips ghosting your ear and sending goosebumps up your arms as he whispered, 

“Just wait until you come over tonight.”

Living with Jungkook meant living with the constant smell of paint. Sure, you only just moved in together less than a week ago, but that was certainly long enough to know. And you were already finding little splatters on the floor and in the kitchen sink.

Living with Jungkook also meant that you were required to use the word magnets on the refrigerator to write him a poem every morning, just like he was going to write one for you. This was established as a house rule while the two of you discussed whether it would be a good idea to live together.

You thought the rules were going to be about who does the laundry, but you had to remember, this was Jungkook.

You tiptoed around the cardboard boxes full of all the stuff you two moved in with, but had yet to unpack. The hardwood floors glistened in the afternoon sunlight streaming through the flimsy blinds. Specks of dust glittered the air.

Jungkook was laying out a tarp in the entranceway of the apartment. An array of paint cans were placed around the tarp to hold it down.

“JK, what are you doing?” you inquired with your hands on your hips.

“Painting,” he said with a simple smile before turning back to his work. It was then that you noticed a large tray with fresh paint, and a variety of brushes sticking out of Jungkook’s pockets. 

“Here? This wall is the first thing people see when they walk in,” you pointed out. Leave it to Jungkook to start on a project before he’d even unpacked all his underwear. 

“That’s the point.” He didn’t look at you as he spoke, instead focused on mixing the color he wanted. 

You let out a small sigh. This man… 

“What are you going to do? Please, I beg of you, please do not paint genitalia of any kind.” It wasn’t that you didn’t enjoy your boyfriend’s artwork. You were obsessed with his creativity, actually. It was part of what made you fall for him. But there was no denying that he was�� unconventional in his taste. 

Jungkook let out a chuckle, his nose scrunched up and his cute front teeth exposed. It was the laugh that meant he thought you were being ridiculous. 

“It’s gonna be something even better.” 

That was not reassuring at all. 

“Jungkook, my parents are coming to visit in a week!” 

Setting his brush down in silence, Jungkook extended his arm to hook a tattooed finger through the belt loop of your shorts. You begrudgingly let him pull you forward until you were pressed against his chest. Your arms circled his tiny waist and you forgot you were supposed to be annoyed with him when he started caressing your head, careful not to mess up your hair. 

“I’m gonna paint a mural of my muse,” he said in the wispy tone his voice took on when he was thinking through his plans. “That’s you, in case you didn’t know.” 

You lifted your head to look up at him, your chin resting on his chest. “No.” 

“What?!” 

“You are not putting up some kind of shrine for me in the middle of the apartment.” 

“Why can’t I let everyone know that I worship you?” Jungkook whined, letting go of you. You weren’t prepared to be set free, though, and you stumbled backwards. With wide eyes, Jungkook grabbed a handful of your shirt to stop you from falling, but it was too late. Your foot stepped directly into one of his open paint cans. 

“JUNGKOOK!” you shrieked, lifting up your foot to see gloopy red paint drip from your toes.

Jungkook’s cheeks grew puffy as he tried to hold in his laughter while he searched for his towels. It was a failed attempt, though, and you were glowering even harder as you watched the laugh come bursting from inside him. 

“I’m-,” Jungkook wheezed, holding out a paint-stained towel for you. He was laughing so hard his hand shook. “I’m s-sorry, baby, I-” 

He abruptly shut up when he felt your hand swipe his cheek and a thick liquid rolled down his neck. 

“That’s what you get for laughing at me!” you said with a wicked grin, admiring how you’d smeared paint all over the side of his face. 

Your grin slowly fell as you watched Jungkook lean down to drag his fingers through his tray of baby blue paint. 

“Don’t you dare,” you warned, pointing your finger at him. 

“What? I’m not doing anything.” Jungkook gave you the sweetest smile and reached for your legs. You felt his wet hands slide down your bare thighs and you shrieked again as he threw you over his shoulder. 

“Put me down! Kookie, you’re going to get paint all over the floor.” You gently beat his back with your fists, but your laughter made your actions less convincing. 

“Me? You’re the one ruining my painting area.” He tried brushing his bangs out of his eyes, but ended up smearing paint across his forehead and into his hair. “Now I have to clean my baby up.” 

You could hear the pout in his voice as he carried you down the hallway to the bathroom, dripping red and blue paint. The two of you were certainly going to leave your mark on this place.

@rkiveslibrary @mar-lo-pap

[vetyr]

hi, i ireally love your work and i don't know if you've answered this before but, what kinds of studies do you do or how did you learn color theory? i wanna get better at rendering and anatomy but im having trouble TT TT

Hi! Long answer alert. Once a chatterbox, always a chatterbox.

When I started actively learning how to draw about 10 1/2 years ago, I exclusively did graphite studies in sketchbooks. Here's a few examples—I mostly stuck to doing line drawings to drill basic shapes/contours and proportions into my brain. The more rendered sketches helped me practice edge control & basic values, and they were REALLY good for learning the actual 3D structure behind what I was drawing.

I'd use reference images that I grabbed from fitness forums, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and some NSFW places, but you could find adequate ref material from figure drawing sites like Line of Action. LoA has refs for people (you can filter by clothed/unclothed, age, & gender), animals, expressions, hands/feet, and a few other useful things as well. Love them.

Learning how to render digitally was a similar story; it helped a lot that I had a pretty strong foundation for value/anatomy going in. I basically didn't touch color at all for ~2 years (except for a few attempts at bad digital or acrylic paint studies), which may not have been the best idea. I learned color from a lot of trial and error, honestly, and I'm pretty sure this process involved a lot of imitation—there were a number of digital/traditional painters whose styles I really wanted to emulate (notably their edge control, color choices, value distributions, and shape design), so I kiiind of did a mixture of that + my own experimentation.

For example, I really found Benjamin Björklund's style appealing, especially his softened/lost edges & vibrant pops of saturated color, so here's a study I did from some photograph that I'm *pretty* sure was painted with him in mind.

Learning how to detail was definitely a slow process, and like all the aforementioned things (anatomy/color/edge control/values/etc.) I'm still figuring it out. Focusing on edge control first (that is, deciding on where to place hard/soft edges for emphasizing/de-emphasizing certain areas of the image) is super useful, because you can honestly fool a viewer into thinking there's more detail in a piece than there actually is if you're very economical about where you place your hard edges.

The most important part, to me, is probably just doing this stuff over and over again. You're likely not going to see improvement in a few weeks or even a few months, so don't fret about not getting the exact results you want and just keep studying + making art. I like to think about learning art as a process where you *need* to fail and make crappy art/studies—there's literally no way around it—so you might as well fail right now. See, by making bad art you're actually moving forward—isn't that a fun prospect!!

It's useful to have a folder with art you admire, especially if you can dissect the pieces and understand why you like them so much. You can study those aspects (like, you can redraw or repaint that person's work) and break down whether this is art that you just like to look at, or if it's the kind of art that you want to *make.* There's a LOT of art out there that I love looking at, probably tens of thousands of styles/mediums, but there's a very narrow range that I want to make myself.

I've mentioned it in some ask reply in the past, but I really do think looking at other artist's work is such a cheat code for improving your own skills—the other artist does the work to filter reality/ideas for you, and this sort of allows you to contact the subject matter more directly. I can think of so many examples where an artist I admired exaggerated, like, the way sunlight rested on a face and created that orange fringe around its edge, or the greys/dull blues in a wheat field, or the bright indigo in a cast shadow, or the red along the outside of a person's eye, and it just clicked for me that this was a very available & observable aspect of reality, which had up until that point gone completely unnoticed! If you're really perceptive about the art you look at, it's shocking how much it can teach you about how to see the world (in this particular case I mean this literally, in that the art I looked at fully changed the way I visually processed the world, but of course it has had a strong effect on my worldviews/relationships/beliefs).

Thanks so much for sending in a question (& for reading, if you got this far)! I read every single ask I receive, including the kind words & compliments, which I genuinely always appreciate. Best of luck with learning, my friend :)

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 23

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday!! every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

Ribs by @buoyantsaturn

“Hi, um. Sorry, I hope I have the right number. Is this Will Solace? Shit, sorry, you can’t answer me, this is a voicemail. Um. You modeled for my life drawing class, and I was wondering if you could model for me privately? Wait, shit, that sounds creepy, hold on. Start over. My name is Nico di Angelo and I’d like to hire you as a model so I can complete my final portfolio for my class. The one you modeled for. Um. Please call me back if you’re interested. Thanks.”

OH this was so so good. first of all, love the concept of broke med student nude model will and artist nico, idk something about it seems so classic. like if i had to pick an au of them having only read pjo once and never experiencing fandom, that is what i would choose. there is also fact that it was written by cj and cj has never once missed. LOVE this fic.

2. My Neighbor, The Sex God by @cherrypie62666

Piper pursed her lips, tapping a finger to her chin; all the while her hazel eyes twinkled at him with barely controlled amusement. “So, you have a problem with your neighbor,” she said slowly, waiting for his confirmation.

“Yes,” Nico hissed, shooting the girl a withering look, which did absolutely nothing other than possibly amusing her even more.

“And your problem is… that he’s too hot,” she finished, tilting her head to the side and grinning wickedly.

“My problem,” he grumbled, brow creasing at the overly pleased look on her face. She was far too unsympathetic considering he was sleep deprived and cranky. “Is that every night when I come home, he’s standing in front of the window, completely naked! I don’t know what to do. It’s like his ass is a magnet for my eyes, and it’s always there, without fail, waiting for me to come view it.”

THIS FIC IS SO FUNNY. its not nsfw but you would think it is, mostly its just hilarious. like, first of all, What a freaking concept. lol. also the tags "inner struggle, when does nico not have an inner struggle" made me fucking Lose my mind bc so so real. this is Such a fun fic and it balances romantic and platonic relationships and its so excellent i love

3. how i became the sea by @unwieldyink

"Nico’s legs were tucked into gaps of the lighthouse’s railing, dangling over the ocean below. He rested his head on the rail as well, letting himself get lost in the rippling ocean before him. If only he could get himself a little boat, one with a nice sturdy sail on it, and get lost in the horizon in person as well as in mind." Merman Will & Lighthouse Keeper Nico AU

DUDE OH MY GOD first of all merman will. second of all THIS FIC IS SO FIRE. 1.5k of what is, in my opinion, the best au trope of all time. i LOVE mermaid/lighthouse keeper, ive written something similar and i hope to one day to write it again, but no matter what it will NEVER be as fire as this fic. so tender. such quiet love OH how i love you quiet love

4. you're both terrible by @unwieldyink

“So why haven’t you mentioned you were friends with him?” Nico was silent. Percy had to bite his lip to keep from smiling. “Is it because you like him?” . a mortal au where nico was adopted by the jacksons. short little oneshot for solangelo week on tumblr, day 5- home

OH i love me some nico & the jacksons and nico & sally especially!!! this is so supportive and sweet and such an easy read i cannot recommend it enough

5. three-in-one soap by @thelordofshrimp

Austin glared at his sister. “Will can’t lie, genius. He says that since he became head counselor, any shower that lasts more than three minutes gets interrupted by someone needing his help.” “That’s… crazy.” Nico considered the number of showers he’d taken even in his short time at camp and imagined if even half of them had been interrupted. “It is,” Jerry agreed. “Not like there’s much we can do about it, though.” “You can always do something about it.” Nico sat up. “There has to be something.” “Not unless you can somehow keep the whole camp safe at once.”

OH i love some scheming, protective nico oh my GOD!! nico & cabin seven is so special forever and this fic was such a treat. nico who is sooooooo determined to give will a break. SUCH an intriguing read

thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!

[loudclan-clangen]

The song “Beautiful Little Fool” for Fiercestripe? Because I am not getting over her death. Listened to it and she was the first character to pop into my head.

You’re so right!

YES! Please do, I would love to see it!

The boring answer is that I've been drawing cats for a VERY long time. I think since I was 8 they have been the majority of what I drew. The less boring answer is you know the movie Spirit? It changed my life. It had a bonus video where one of the artists taught you how to draw Spirit himself and it was the singular thing that inspired me to start drawing (more likely possessed me). I think I must have been about two the first time I saw it because I cannot remember a time before I had that video memorized. I would spend hours sitting in front of that video (which was only like 10-15 minutes long) with a stack of papers just fully focused on perfectly following his instructions. I still think about that video to this day. Every time I draw legs the voice of James Baxter echoes through my mind. I don't know if that translates to why my cats are so beefy, I own a cat who is quite chonky, so that might contruibute to it, but now you have a fun fact about me regardless!

All of the heirs are chosen based on birth order! Whoever is born first gets to be heir. I personally find that making strict rules about stuff makes playing the game a lot easier for me, I find it stressful to try to pick a "good heir" when I don't know what's going to happen later in the game so to limit that I just let it be completely out of my hands. 2. The game rolled for Songpaw to become a medicine cat! I would have changed it if he was an only kit or probably if I had known that Dashpaw was gonna die, cause I was really stressed about losing my run at that point, but I do my best to write a story that makes the game make sense rather than change what the game gives me when possible. I think it helps me to not have much of a story in mind while I play, just noting down events and thoughts and then going back and piecing it all together afterwards. That way nothing can "go wrong". 3. "Heir-hood" only applies to the leaders. There is no expectation that Cavepaw will become a healer. When Weed dies that position will be open until someone wishes to volunteer for it. 4. Honestly I don't really know. This might spoil a little bit, of tension, but I truly never had that happen. I was SUPER worried about it and did a lot to make sure it wouldn't, but after a couple of generations you get to a point where almost everyone is descended from a leader at somepoint. (And also everyone is second cousins with each other but you know what there are some problems that you just have to live with.) I image the clan would look for an omen and just pick a new leader based off of that and start the process all over again. In my experience worst comes to worst just make sure you have a very accurate family tree and trace it back a couple of generations.

Thank you so much! I don't play with any mods for Loudclan, I'm too scared to lose saves to less than stable code. My favorite mod currently is Kori's Awoogen though! I just like to look at the beautiful art mostly. I use mass extinction as population control, so I turn it on and off based on how many cats I have. Two full pages is the upper limit of what I'm willing to deal with, so once a third page opens I turn mass extinction on and after an extinction happens I turn it back off. (also if I dip below 1 full page I turn unknown parents on until I'm back to two pages again). I've found after a couple of generations you can mostly stop worrying about it because the bloodlines have spread so far there's always someone who's a 6th great great cousin or something.

The game generated him Dashpelt! I probably would have picked Dashfoot to stick with the generated them of a boring suffix but to make more sense overall.

[violetjedisylveon]

Shadowpeach Celestial Prince Macaque AU, when Wukong lost the battle against the Emperor + gets trapped in the mountain, the Emperor lies that 'Wukong is dead' to Macaque...

Macaque is heartbroken and runs away from the Celestial Realms...

Macaque travels all across the Mortal World, in the form of a mortal monkey...

Eventually, Nuwa asks Macaque to raise MK (Chaos Harbinger), Macaque says yes + Macaque gets a job at Pigsy's Restaurant...

When Macaque sees that Wukong is alive, he cries tears of joy! 😭

previous

Oh that's fun. (Lemme throw more fairytale and children into it, I can't help myself, must give the monkeys babies)

I've got two ideas with this

Wukong is under the impression that Macaque is being held against his will in the celestial realm with no knowledge that he's a prince, a misconception only stoked by Azure to rile Wukong up into attacking them to save his love, and the only reason Wukong thinks that is because Macaque chose not to tell him, and now he's dead!

The Jade Emperor put a spell on his ears to block him from ever hearing Wukong again, he's not going to loose another child to their foolish young love.

So Macaque actually thinks he's dead.

This is the tragedy route:

He's absolutely heartbroken and guilty over it, because he thinks he got him killed! He really did love him, he even confessed to him shortly before the rebellion started!

He's too inconsolable with grief to leave the fortified tower his parents put him in for his own safety during the fighting, he's hardly the strongest of combatants being a fairly sheltered youngest child. He can throw a mean punch, and has phenomenal powers but little control over them, and that's about it.

His parents do start to feel pretty bad for making him think the love of his life is dead, but they are committing to it because Macaque is just a kid in puppy love to them, and Wukong was a danger.

What if he dragged their little moon flower out of the safety of the celestial realm and down the mortal realm? What if he turned their son against them and they were forced to punish him alongside the other rebels? They couldn't so blatantly show favor to their son.

It was better this way. Their son was safe and wouldn't be tempted by the draw of the mortal realm anymore.

Macaque stays in the celestial realm for a couple hundred years, his parents were already devastated by Iron Fan leaving them, he couldn't hand them another heartbreak so soon. And the one he would leave the realm for is long dead.

On an unrelated note, he notices his clothes getting tighter around the stomach as the years go on.

He stays the good son he was before meeting Wukong, he doesn't have a thought of leaving the realm at all, he's the perfect prince.

He mostly stays more hidden away in the orchards, having become much more introverted since the rebellion.

But all is well in the celestial realm.

Until he has a visit with Guanyin, a goddess with maternity aspects, and she notices something amiss.

Turns out the perfect prince had a secret little roll in the orchards with the celestial realm's no. 1 annoyance if you catch my drift 😏

Macaque is obviously mortified! He didn't think they could make anything together, but

Macaque doesn't want his parents knowing about this, obviously he fears their overreacting to him carrying the child, children Guanyin quickly corrects, of their most hated enemy!

He knows what happened to his sisters who had children with mortals, and he knows what happened to Erlang's mother for doing the same, and while Wukong isn't a mortal, he knows he wouldn't be spared their wrath.

And since he still thinks Wukong is dead, he doesn't wanna loose him babies who could be the last thing he has left of his first and only love. (Don't worry I'm not killing them this time)

Guanyin comforts him and suggests he come to her realm in the southern seas so his cubs can be born in a safer place, though Xiwangmu as a mother goddess would obviously know when he gives birth, and would know one of her children is currently expecting.

And what do you know? She suspects exactly that and Macaque overheard her talking with JE about it, and thinks he's already been found out.

Macaque is panicking big time thinking he's in big trouble and then Nuwa comes to him like

She's decided the panicked pregnant celestial monkey is the perfect parent for the harbinger of chaos, and gives him a way to avoid his parents and have his babies + her harbinger, and she puts a spell on him that'll make him disappear to the eyes of the celestial realm when he accepts.

Macaque ends up traveling the mortal realm disguised as a normal monkey demon.

MK hatches around the same time as his twins are born, so it's easier for macaque to just label them triplets and call it a day without going into the whole "a snake lady gave your stone egg to me when I ran away from my over protective parents" bit.

He teaches the triplets how to hide their ears like him, and once they're old enough, he tells them about their Papa, who they must never mention by name or else they will be in big trouble, he heard his parents fury over his disappearance, he's playing it safe.

So it's just a single dad and his three kids traveling around until they come across Megapolis, and he decides this is a nice place to settle, he gets a job at the local theater as a performer, and his kids favorite restaurant is Pigsy's, and MK ends up working full time there, while the other two end up working with him at the theater, but learning a fair bit from watching the pig chef.

Macaque and Wukong do meet again, but due to the damage done to his eyes from the furnace, Wukong can't see him, and Macaque can't hear him, he's still got the spell on him.

Hear no evil, see no evil, and the kids are speak no evil cause they can't bring this shit up or their whole family is exposed and there will be bad consequences.

Shenanigans ensue.

In case you don't know, I'm taking some elements from the og Rapunzel, mainly the twin pregnancy and prince(Wukong in this case) character being blinded/suffering eye damage.

And this is the comedy route:

Where when fighting, Wukong says something about saving Macaque from the cruelty of the celestial realm while fighting the Jade Emperor and he's just like "you dumb boy, that's my son, the fuck are you on",

Things work out much better once Wukong explains that he was only fighting cause he thought macaque was in trouble, and while he did wreck shit, it does get him a few brownie points with his in-laws because he was willing to fight heaven for their son.

Wukong is still blamed for Princess Iron Fan eloping with DBK, and they get a little extra protective of macaque, but things eventually work out fine and Nuwa gives them a rock soon to be baby MK as a wedding gift.

The wedding is a bit rushed because the surprise pregnancy was found out earlier and the royal couple won't let their grandchildren be born illegitimate.

Thanks for asking!

[catblinker]

asking that affini you know why she has two of the same floret. one's still human, but one's a machine- up close, you see it's more of a porcelain doll. you ask her if they're digitised, if they're... you know the terms, uhm... a ramet and ortet, dear? there you go. she's in your head, you note. she giggles a little, and says that it's because keeping both forks of her beloved pet means twice the brightness it can bring to her life! ::) but you aren't satisfied with that answer. you want to know the real reason; you want to lean in closer. gosh, you're such a curious seed! you don't blush. she figures she'll 'give you the floret cut'- explain in terms little cuties like you understand. you both know that you're a fully functional "independent". she keeps this one, she says, petting the mostly-still-organic floret lying dreamily at her feet, because it's her very first and only floret. she'd never want to be without it, it's a good terran and has got her through some tough times. she loves it. she says terran like you'd say dog; she grins. that's right, draw the association yourself, very good. this one, though, she purrs, hand around the neck of the one in her lap that you notice is now far less relaxed, the one in the very pretty body made of cutting-edge affini biotech, this one is fun. this one is under her full control, a puppet with no boundaries or resistances to get in the way of her love. and- pay attention, now, dear- she can do this! she wraps a set of vines around the living doll's torso and wrist, and tells it to speak, doll, tell the nice floret (you're too distracted to object) what's going to happen to it. the girl at her feet is staring up, raptly; she looks like she's bracing herself. a soft, shaky voice comes out of the doll's mouth. "mistress is going to dislocate my arm. it's going to hurt and i don't want it. i don't know what i did wrong." such a good doll! it knows that punishment is something it deserves, and it submits to it willingly! the pulling starts, and it's already whimpering and trying not to hyperventilate. good doll! the girl on the floor is looking increasingly nervous. the pulling grows only harder, and the grinding noises from her abused joint sicken you, and you can't look away. good doll. the protests of the thing in her lap become loud moans of pain, 'nnffgghhh' and 'ghffffhk' and 'ahhngggn', become screams as her shoulder begins to crack. you're doing so well, she says, so brave for me, it's almost over, you're being a good doll, and the joint shatters. the dismembered arm still in her grasp twitches almost as much as the incoherent floret sobbing in her lap, the lucky doll's ortet on the floor massaging her own shoulder in sympathy. she knows the answer to the question before it's asked, but she waits patiently. what do we say, doll? it barely gets the words out through the choked sobs, but they're ones or gratitude. "th-ank yYou for br-breaking me so that You mmhhh,, so You may r-rebuild me ho-owww You like, Mistress." her vines trace the edges, the inside of its mangled shoulder. it clearly hurts. the pet on the floor is asked the same question, and meekly whimpers out its thanks, gratitude for showing it what its life would be if it wasn't a good pet. you understand, now, why she keeps both of them. you don't think about the way watching the doll break made you feel, but you know she can tell. you excuse yourself- you could have left at any time, petal, if you didn't love what you saw- but next time you see her, she'll know as well as you that you were up late last night.

[sakruisin-thru]

the one where you and daichi finally fall into place pt. 2

featuring: sawamura daichi x f!reader

genre: smut/fluff (minors dni), post-grad au!, tipsy reader & daichi

warning: smut, mutual pining, femme poc reader, p in v, oral sex, dry humping, honestly this is so self indulgent (i started this when i was in academic research and needed an escape of that hell), did not proof read soz.

word count: 3068

find pt 1 here!

(a/n: i am so sorry for the delay here! i got laid off in feb from my job (yay tech) and applied to graduate school, got in and now set to move in a couple days. it's been a lot and i'm trying my best to keep up with the things that make me happy. thank u @kurodoroppu for being such a great friend and pushing me to write love u)

“darling,” he whispers against your lips, “say something please. i won’t touch you until you say what you need from me.” 

you pull away and give him an imposing look. his eyes held sweetness, kindness and...fear? always the leader, he was calculating. he was double checking...no...triple checking that you were okay with this.

“i can’t run away from it anymore, daichi,” you cup his face, “i'm so sorry for making you wait for this long. im ready. i want you.”

“fuck.” and with that he smashes his lips against you again.

his hands wind up from your hips, up your breasts, your neck and land on your face. he cannot get enough. he’s kissed you before, he’s touched you (over clothes), he’s felt your body against his, yet, his body is on fucking fire. 

he grabs you by your ass, picks you up off the table and throws you on the bed onto your back. you knew he was strong, but seeing his ability to toss your around made you swoon. you look at him through your eyelashes. he’s breathing hard. he’s looking at you in a depraved way you’ve never seen him. he must have hidden this ferocity from you. 

it doesn't click but, oh baby girl, he’s famished. 

he makes his way to you, taking his outer layer shirt off first, leaving on his white undershirt. he captures your lips again, weaving his fingers in your hair and rolls his hips into yours. you feel his clothed cock rub against your leg, then your covered pussy, and you experience another wave of pleasure. 

“i wanna give you a little taste of your teasing tonight, darling.” his deep voice rumbling in your ear. you shiver. 

“what teasing, daichi?” you look at him with wide eyes, trying to feign innocence. he draws back his hips, snaps them to you, and goes back into a steady grind against your clothed groins.

he moans oh so sweetly as he looks at you and says, “don’t play dirty, honey. i’m not interested in this back and forth tonight. you riled me up, it’s only fair i return the favor”. 

he brings his mouth to swallow your moans. he’s kissing you like he loves you, and moving his hips like he’s fucking you. he’s grabbing onto your breasts, your hips, your ass as if he’ll spin out into space. you’re still fully clothed, but he’s still driving you wild, building up that pressure deep in your belly. 

you can’t keep track of time of how long he’s been mock making love to you, but both your patience is wearing thin. he finally makes a move to your neck, sucking roughly around the space.  

“dai….,” you whine, “i don’t have enough makeup to hide your marks.”

he laughs darkly against your neck, “mmm but baby where’s the fun in all of that?”

you run your fingers through his hair, “we’re presenting our life's work to well known researchers, i cannot --mmph!” daichi silences you quickly with his lips, “okay okay fine. but mostly because i don’t think i could focus around you if i saw those marks.”

you start giggling, and he pulls away to study your face. he joins in your giggle fits and you decide to take control and push his chest, so he falls on his back. 

he’s surprised, but smiles warmly up at you, welcoming the change of scenery. from his position, your deep skin has a pink flush. he’s never seen you more breathless, never seen you glow so much.

as you move to sit on top of his throbbing erection, his hands make their way to your plush waist. he bucks his hips, getting you to groan again. he starts his pace again, aiming to drive you wild, as pay back for the club. 

no, no, this isn’t how you wanted this to go. you put your hands on his chest, signaling for him to stop and level your gaze with his. “let me take care of you tonight, honey,” you say lightly.

it was a simple phrase, but it was enough to make tears well up in daichi’s eyes. how much have people depended on him, that he's the one who's been the caretaker, the responsible one. it begs the question, has he ever been taken care of?

you take notice of the fleeting emotion and place a kiss on his mouth, then to both of his cheeks, his forehead, his eyes. “all mine.” you whisper against them. he grunts in response, your possessiveness lights up his nerves. 

you make your way down to daichi’s neck, returning the favor of kissing and sucking and drawing out those bloody gorgeous moans from him. your body drinks up every single noise and you keep getting wetter.

you bring your hands to the hem of his t-shirt and pulling it off of him. you’ve seen him shirtless a handful of times, but none as divine as this moment. he stayed active since starting graduate school, keeping his body sculpted, but has that layer of fat that just makes him look so inviting. god, he is beautiful.

he laughs breathlessly. “thank you, love. you’re just as stunning.” you realize you spoke out loud. you blush and hide your face from your slight humiliation straight into his chest. his hands are roaming your shoulders, gracing your neck, he can’t touch you enough. 

you kiss across his chest, testing the waters by taking one of his nipples in your mouth. he groans lowly, “oh god baby, don’t start something you’re not ready to finish.” 

that only spurs you on. you go back to taking one of his nipples and sucking hard. one hand flies into your hair, the other grips the sheets. in between your kisses and his groans, you drop your hands further down his torso. you lock eyes with him and drag your tongue up and down his abs. you suck a hickey into one of them. you let him toss his head back, as he tried to keep his composure, but his groans betray his pleasure.

“let’s take these off, daichi.” you swiftly take off his pants and start palming him through his boxers, and oh boy does he whine. you’re shocked. you never thought he would be willing to put down the tough man facade, but you’ve wound him up so much he can’t even remotely hide how he feels. 

you think you should ease up on torturing him, but it’s too good having your way with him. the funniest part, he’s letting you get away with it.

you add more fuel to the fire, “i’ve been dreaming of your cock for so long.”

he rises to his elbows. he watches you with a bated breath. you really are his dream woman, he thinks, as you peel his boxers down centimetre by centimetre.

 “i can’t wait to taste you, dai.” he fights rolling his eyes back into his head.

“please angel, i need something. i need you to give me something,” he starts to grown and oh, you could get used to the sound of him begging. 

“mmm okay baby, just because you’ve been such a sweet,” you place one kiss on his left hip, 

“darling,” another on his right hip, 

“kind,” you pull his boxer band down faster. 

“man to me.” he shudders, throwing his hand over his eyes. you pull his boxers down fully. nothing could prepare you for what his cock actually looked like.

it's the perfect length. long enough that doesn't make you fear for your insides. the part that does worry you is how thick he is. your hand doesn’t even go completely around his girth, but you squeeze firmly and give an experimental tug of him towards your face. you're determined to make it work

daichi breathes in sharply and grips the sheets tightly. you pump him one, two, three times to get him to attention fully and then you lean forward to lick his tip gently.

daichi throws his head back. he tries to keep himself anchored to the sheets. he’s waited this long to have you, he could wait a little while longer, right? wrong. “more.” he pleads, winding his fingers through your locks.

you give his tip a swirl of the tongue one way, and then swirled the other way. when you catch the spot on the under side of his cock, daichi is left a loud, groaning mess. you glance at him through your eyelashes, and he looks like he's in a personal call with god.

his lips are wet from saliva and slightly parted, his hand is covering his eyes, and his neck and chest is flushed red. you tap his thigh and his eyes snap to you.

"eyes on me, dai." you whispered lowly, his cock sitting so beautifully on your face. his heart was going to burst out of his chest, his cock throbbed with the way you spoke with him with such authority.

you keep working his length, drawing out each of those beautiful moans. his eyes never left you even as you work on sucking his large tip and working the rest with your hand. the hand in your hair pulls you up lightly.

"baby, if you don't stop...i-i'm gonna cum." he groans weakly.

"mm, daichi, what if that's what i want?" you ask innocently.

"if that's what you want, i'm not gonna be able to take care of you how we both want, so decide carefully love." he brings his hand off eyes.

you think, still slowly pumping him. "fair enough." you release him and begin to move to level yourself with him, never leaving his hungry eyes. he pulls you simultaneously to smash your lips to his.

in one swift movement he flips you onto your back, never leaving the kiss. you yelp into mouth, as he resumes your initial position of grinding. there's no way he could have gotten hotter to you, but he's proved you wrong every time.

daichi reaches to unlace your legs that are wrapped around his waist. "you need less clothes on," he grumbles, "can't believe you got me naked before i did you."

"are you pouting?" you laugh out, "the mighty daichi...pouting?!" you find this hysterical.

however,

he doesn't find the situation as funny as you. his hands impatiently yanking your dress off, pulling the offending material off your body and unhooks your bra next. his eyes are drawn immediately to your chest.

"you're stunning, angel." daichi breathes out. he grabs two handfuls of your breast, making you whine at the sensation. he's massaging them between his hands and you let out a noise of sin. the pleasure zip from your temples, through your spine, straight down to where you needed daichi the most. your mind and body feels weightless.

he moves his hands lower and pulls your panties down. he throws them over his shoulder and unceremoniously lowers himself to come face to face to your cunt. he grips your thighs and spreads them open. you gasp, feeling like your body was set alight.

he licks once on the left side of your entrance, twice on the right side, barely misses your clit. he's teasing you but not being gentle with you. the grip on your thighs is rough, and he's teasing your lower regions with quick licks. no he's not being gentle at all. he wants to overwhelm your senses. you know what he's asking.

"dai...baby, please." he looks up to a beautiful sight. you're perched up on your elbows, with your eyes hooded, lips pouting. he smirks devilishly at you. without another word, he licks one stripe at your core, from your entrance to your clit.

your thighs quiver and throw your head back with a guttural groan. his tongue just catches your entrance and it feels like heaven.he stops suddenly, and he starts kissing your thighs. he touches you anywhere but your center.

"daichi, please keep going." you look at him mournfully, eyebrows up turned.

"where do you want me love?" he licks and kisses among the skin of your inner thighs and your center. “lower.” you whine.

"here?" and irritatingly places fluttering kisses around your clit.

"n-n-no daichi. i need your tongue o-on my clit. i need to cum on your tongue, need every part of you to have me cum. just touch me please, honey."

he already knew he was going to marry you, but this moment just validated his feelings. there was this unspoken need to be claimed by each other. he dives right back into your thighs and sucks right onto your clit, returning to that same brutal pace. more and more he's working you up with his tongue inside of you, you're clutching your breasts, trying to center yourself. his fingers enter the mix and throws you straight into heavenly bliss

daichi gets you to your climax sooner than any vibrator or dildo could do. your eyes are fluttering shut, your thighs are squeezing and relaxing around daichi's head (not that he minds), your back is arching off the bed, and your cunt.....oh my god your cunt is pulsing and daichi is simply looking like a man deep in love.

"cum on my face for me, my angel. i'll fuck you right after i promise. just give me one," his voice is so strained, "let me prepare you for my cock."

one more press of his fingers in you sent you into a frenzy. your thighs around daichi's head started shaking and your already loud moans became variations of daichi's name, profanities, and declarations of finishing. he continues to let you ride out your orgasm as you desperately clench onto his fingers. he detaches from your lips and looks straight at your cum oozing from you.

"so fucking pretty." he says to himself.

you tap on his shoulders to have him come back up to you. daichi slots his lips with yours, as you continue panting from your previous orgasm. the taste of your arousal from his mouth mixes with the taste of his in your mouth. you both groan loudly.

daichi shifts his hips slightly, his cock head bumps into your sensitive clit.

"oo!" you squeal from the sudden stimulation. he smiles sheepishly at you.

"we can stop," he says seriously, albeit mournfully, "this is the furthest we've gone."

"god, please just fuck me dai." you whine. he's taken aback, but doesn't hesitate to move his hips back and guide his cock head into your entrance.

oh my word, the stretch is brutal and leaves you whimpering. he moves the tip and the first into your still sensitive, velvety cunt. seeing his dick was not enough to fully come to terms with how big it actually is.

"fuuuck. how are you so tight still, angel?" his face flushes and he squeezes his eyes shut, trying his best not to fully rut into you. you on the other hand, are feeling the burn, but you want to be wrecked.

"push through it. i want it all." you bite your lip. daichi looks at you again in surprise.

"i don't want to h--",

"you're not going to. i need you to fuck me."

daichi inhales sharply, slowly pulls his hips back and slams his cock fully into you. the entire stretch of him in your cunt has you in shambles. you're a moaning mess --

"holy fuck." you respond to his steady and strong pace with a loud moan. he moves your legs from his waist to sit on his shoulders and presses himself down to you. now you can feel him even deeper and hitting your most sensitive spot. he's kissing you, he's wrecking you, he's starting to lose his composure.

how many moons has he gone by touching himself to the sheer idea of feeling your soft, velvety walls? how long as he dreamt of you in this position, whining for him? craving him? letting him take care of you?

you start to see stars, as your eyes roll back. as soon as your eyes are shut, you feel one smack on your ass. you look at daichi quickly, and see his eyes boring deep into yours.

"eyes on me, sweetheart. i want to see you lose it." he growls lowly. he takes you out of mating press, and sits up on his knees. your legs are now straight up, as he fucks in to you. you feel him rub your clit as you feel your arousal reaching the crest again.

this time you feel your whole body floating.

you grab onto his arm to pull him closer, "i'm...i'm going to cum again."

he grunts against your lips, "oh fuck, please please cum on my cock."

you don't respond, you only focus on the steady and harsh smack of his hips against yours and how his fingers are rubbing your clit so expertly. you come undone in a matter of seconds. this time, you come twice as hard as the first, clenching his cock so hard that he yelps. you wrap your legs around his waist as you hold on for dear life

"fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!" and you feel the rush of him arrive inside of you.

as you come down from your high, you start to feel the sheer wait of daichi on you.

"that...was an accident." you hear him say sheepishly, as he's tucked in the crook of your neck.

"what was?" you play with his hair.

"i came too fast...and came inside." he hides his face.

you just shrug. "i can be worried about that if i wasn't taking necessary precautions. besides, it was hot knowing you came that fast because of...what we were doing." now it was your turn to be bashful.

he lifts his head from your neck to take a good look at you. "let me take you out tomorrow. on a proper date. i want the opportunity to ask you to be mine. i want to give you that type of romance. i want to sweep you off your feet."

you feel your heart skip a beat.

"okay dai. tomorrow it is." you smile softly at him. because this time, you were ready to stop running away from what you knew to be right for you. you were ready to accept the love that was waiting patiently at your door. you were ready to jump right into this with him.

[spiritsglade]

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

that one thing you see in fics all the time <- I don't know if this means you hate it, idk, idc, just something you see a lot and want to comment on.

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

[choose violence asks]

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

there's this common trend of making jason more brutal than bruce? idk it's hard to place it exactly because no one really says this explicitly but i've noticed that if the bruce & jason conflict isn't about jason killing people then it's about jason going overboard beating the shit out of people. ties into how people in general associate jason with anger, i think.

and it's just. it's odd, when batman's brutality is a pretty key part of a lot of his comics? like i guess it's played for a joke mostly but him dangling people off rooftops by their ankles is like... one of the iconic things bruce does. slamming them into walls, holding them up using a hand around their throat, stuff like that. his whole brand is intimidation. and i'm pretty sure his [righteous] anger at crime is also a relevant element? + the violent grief spiral after jason's death, especially.

so it's weird to me. especially because i can't really think of jason being excessively brutal ever, in canon, beyond maybe the surgical level of torture he was willing to do for intel. (rip shurik.) but even then, that's distinct from excessive force born out of anger.

we get that with jaybin, especially with all the retcons. but not really with red hood jason. mmm i'm rambling. i chose something way too vague i'm been musing on for this, whoops.

anyway jason todd is not a tank he is acrobatic and he can do his flippies just as good as dick.

that one thing you see in fics all the time

jason defining this distinction between batman and bruce. you get this in both good dad and bad dad bruce, stuff like "jason looked up and it wasn't batman before him, but bruce, his dad" or "bru--no, batman, loomed over him, the blank white lenses of the cowl staring him down coldly."

now, i love the whole vigilante identity vs. civilian identity separation and signaling how different characters compartmentalize and view each other in and out of the mask through what names they use in the narration. and bruce in particular definitely draws very sharp lines between his personas. i just don't think jason does when looking at bruce.

bruce is batman is his father is the man he hates and jason does not differentiate, just like how jason acts the same, is the same, whether the helmet is on or not. it's a very weird little hangup i have and i don't think i could fully explain why i prefer headcanoning it this way if i tried.

nothing wrong wtih fics doing it! it does make for delightfully fun angst! it's just one of the really tiny schisms between my personal vision for these characters vs. what's popular.

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

we as a collective NEED to do more with the fact jason (with talia's help) did a hostile takeover of wayne enterprises's r&d branch during under the hood. i need to know if he still owns it and what he had them make and how control was handed back to bruce if it happened at all. please tell me more. under the hood corporate espionage au when.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

I hope you’re keeping well!

So I space out a lot, more than I should really lol. And sometimes when I do, my family gets really concerned because I guess I’ll just stop breathing altogether. You could either make this romantic or platonic, but how would the gods/humans react to reader who’s just completely lost in space?

I don’t have a preference to which god or humans react.

I went with a teen reader for a platonic relationship for this

-You didn’t hear Buddha calling to you, despite being right next to you, as you were staring off at nothing, spacing out again, not reacting to anything around you.

-It was strange, you had been doing this a lot more lately, spacing out, it happened at random, sometimes at school but mostly at home. Nikola originally thought it was something like disassociating, but after meeting with a family counselor with several of your family members, they concluded that wasn’t it. You were just spacy.

-Some, like Loki and Anubis thought it was amusing, as they played a few pranks on you, putting snacks all over you while you were unresponsive, and when you woke up you found yourself covered in bags of snacks and snack cakes, questioning what happened.

-Others, like Adam and Nikola, were concerned about you, worrying that there was something wrong, but doctors weren’t catching it, making sure you were happy, healthy, and comfortable.

-They were worried about you because they cared, which you did appreciate, but you just can’t remember ever spacing out at any given time.

-There were rules to you spacing out for your family, who have learned the hard way, with the main one being they can’t grab you if you’re out of it, mainly because you get startled awake and you’re a swinger. Loki was the unfortunate soul who learned that lesson after you decked him after getting scared.

-The only other rule they had was to make sure doors were locked at night leading outside, because sometimes you would get up in the middle of the night, space out, and you would wake up three miles away in a baseball field.

-That was a fun night when that happened the first time, after the police found you and brough you home while you were ugly crying, not understanding what happened or where you are, and the whole house was yelling when they realized that you had somehow gotten out.

-You spacing out wasn’t a bad thing, that’s what your family told you, not wanting you to feel bad, as you couldn’t control it, it just happened sometimes. But sometimes it was hard when you were supposed to be doing something- helping someone with a project, or coming to eat, and you were off in space, and they couldn’t wake you up or risk getting swung on.

-Buddha couldn’t help but grin as he called your name again, drawing it out to make himself seem louder, holding a box of baked goods from the bakery you liked, your reward for passing a hard test, but he couldn’t wake you up.

-Loki took the chance and threw a pillow at you, making you flinch as you woke up, seeing Buddha there with the box and instantly you beamed, “Cake!” he roared with laughter while Loki came up behind you, hugging you from behind, welcoming you back from space again, playfully teasing you as the three of you headed to the dining room to partake.

[a-really-cool-blog-name]

Breaking Don au (TMNT 2012)

The plot of this au is that during the events of "The power inside her" April kiiinnndaa messes up badly when bringing Donnie back and it doesn't do it right, to put it lightly.

So now Donnie is basically split into two separate people, the vast majority of his soul who goes by Donatello and his body who goes by Dee. Now no one knows that April did this incorrectly except for the two halves because Dee has tiny parts of him that are based off of what April knows about Donnie so he looks almost completely right and since his soul is so close to him constantly it looks like it's just normal.

Eventually the two halves are going to form back into Donnie but that's at the end of the story this is just like an overview.

I phrased this kind of badly I'm simplifying to keep this shorter until you click the read more.

Art and more details down below 👇 (you want to click the read more button so badly 🌀)

Just a wee warning before we start-

this is also a TMNT 2012 rewrite in the background because uhhhhh I haven't...seen...the show? PUT DOWN THE TOMATOES! WAIT LET ME EXPLAIN! Okay so it all started when I was a wee child-

okay no I'm not going to do that bit it's just that I can't handle bad romance subplots or forced drama (I can handle drama just not forced weird type of drama that happens and some types of kid shows) and I've seen like clips of the show and I like a lot of parts of the show from what I've seen of it but honestly I think the love triangle would kill me and even if I didn't I'm scared I'll watch it and then not be able to enjoy the community anymore around it so this is actually just me being weird around media again, like I like other types of TMNT shows like I loved rise and I watched mutant mayhem and I liked that quite a bit and I like what I see of other shows I just haven't gotten around to watching them yet, so I kind of like TMNT 2012 like by proxy and I'm like "oh well I don't have any plans to watch the show so" and then like the community kind of like hit me over the head with a keyboard so now I'm a fan of like the community I don't know man I'm just here to have fun

"So why are you making an au of it if you've never even seen it fully?" It's fun. Idk man please correct me if I get any big details wrong I may watch the show eventually but right now I haven't.

Anyway on to the actual AU as opposed to me ranting about the ✨guilt✨ I feel randomly- (I'm coping)

Donatello! (Spirit)

"If- if I- I chop you up in a meat grinder and all that was left of you was only your eyeball, haha, you're probably dead! Haha! You are probably going to die! I mean not you specifically but-" -Donatello at some point before realizing how crazy he sounds.

"But that's not what a spirit in 2012 looks lik-" I KNOW IT'S FOR LORE (aka I think it looks cool and bonus I don't have to draw arms my beloathed)

He is the VAST MAJORITY of Donnie's soul and thinks he just is Donnie, he is VERY pissed about Dee "stealing" his body because of this.

He has (most of not all of) Donnie's memories and acts mostly like regular old Donnie with some minor exceptions that could also be attributed to the whole..."Being spilt into tiny atoms by one of his closest friends and then being brought back into awareness only to find some random guy piloting HIS body (it looks kinda weird from the whole turning to atoms thing but thankfully mostly back to normal) that thinks he's you with amnesia (he's for some reason not telling anyone he thinks he has amnesia) and he can't interact with anyone nor can anyone see him EXCEPT FOR THE 'IMPOSTER' WHO CAN'T EVEN GET HIS NAME RIGHT" thing, perchance.

Knows over time that the... "incident" wasn't April fault but Donatello can't help but freak out anytime he sees her.

Completely freaked out by how uncanny it is to see "yourself" doing things without you controlling, ESPECIALLY when Dee gets hurt.

MUCH stronger at spiritual stuff than Donnie because welllll- it's In the name

Can go to the astral plane briefly but it starts to hurt both him and Dee after like an hour or so (Donatello can't feel pain most of the time so it's REALLY strong as he ain't used to it as much) he talks with Tang Shen there, He calls her Mom because I think that's sweet. (She is a little confused and concerned about what exactly happened to him as he isn't constantly there, is really young, stays in the living relume most of the time somehow, he does not look like a normal spirit, and something about being split in half and his body still living 'normally'? The more she hears the more she wishes he would explain thoroughly) Donnie will retain this ability when recombined.

Over the course of the story he and Dee get much closer as he accepts that Dee isn't being malicious and ALSO never asked for this.

Later in the story he can pick up small items briefly and push items if they are close enough to Dee and he concentrates enough.

Dee! (Body)

"Don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious!" -Dee's life motto

Why did I put Donatello on a black background and Dee on a white one? Good question! Anyway-

He's supposed to be slightly paler then before only really noticeable when you're looking at a before and after image but very concerning when you are. (I might change what his eyes look like cuz it kind of didn't succeed on that part lmao)

As you can tell because you probably can see, he ties his mask up much shorter than Donnie did, his mask itself also came back a bit paler after it came back with him in the incident.

Still fully sapient due to April's memories of Donnie and a VERY small piece of his soul that stayed with him.

Doesn't really have any of Donnie's "memories" but does know some information about himself (ie who his brothers and friends are, some basic tech stuff, etc) mostly stuff April would know Donnie would know however he doesn't remember that his name should be Hamato Donatello instead of Donatello Hamato until Donatello gets pissed at him. (Mostly because April didn't connect that the surname goes first)

He is the only one who can see, hear, and interact at all with Donatello.

His brothers are concerned with how unaffected he seems to be about the disintegration and April getting possessed in general (He literally can't remember it)

Super anxious when it comes to someone finding out he's not the 'real Donnie' because despite the fact that he fully believes Donatello (mostly because well who has the memories here) that he is somehow a fake person who has taken over someone else's identity, he still loves his brothers and friends

Kinda meaner to Casey and dislikes him more than Donnie or Donatello at the beginning. (Casey grows on him after a while) Mostly because, once again, that's how April sees their relationship as just enemies.

Still loves to invent but doesn't have all the knowledge still, he tries to bounce ideas off of Donatello often, which Donatello (once he calms down more) will partake in.

Does kinda start to (I don't really know how to properly describe this) have 'his soul' (fraction) expand? In a way, idk how to phrase that well but I'm bullcraping a lot of lore here soooooo essentially souls will get "larger" in a way (not really like physical size but like experience that comes with more spiritual growth if you work on it and crap? Like how aging doesn't always mean getting more knowledge but it frequently comes with it and how you don't have to age a lot to get knowledge but like you can as well I don't know how to phrase this one, guys, good luck understanding me 🙏) I mean Donatello's does too but that was like expected.

Was VERY happy to learn later in the story that he did indeed have a part of Donnie in him and he's not just like, a random soulless guy accidentally impersonating him.

[Ending this section because I don't know how else to do it]

Sooo, yeah. I don't know how much I'll do for this au but I just wanted to get the designs down and make a post about it. I do have like one chapter the fanfiction in the works but don't get your hopes up.

You know what time it is now? BONUS IMAGES

Two alternative designs with Donatello because the smudge tool is fun

Alternative Dee with a bow! (Get it because bow and bo staff- I'll leave) I imagine Mikey probably did that for him.

[genn1e]

변의주 // EJ

Pairing: idol!ejxfem!reader, idol!leader, 10th member reader

Content: slow burn, little angst, high school friends

Note: English is NOT my first language guys and I am not a professional writer, I mostly write for fun :D Hope you like thiss

Joining &TEAM after 2 years of their debut was not for the weak. You have barely talked to all of the members. It was difficult to approach each of them.

At least you knew someone. EJ.

You always looked at EJ like an older brother—a steady presence, a shoulder to lean on. Especially now, with him leading &TEAM, his sense of responsibility only made you admire him more.

He was your go-to, your anchor.

If you had a question, it was always,

"EJ, what’s the Korean word for...?"

or

"EJ, is this the right step after...?"

You swear, his name rolled off your tongue more than anyone else’s.

He gave you strength. He made you feel like you could wake up every morning and keep chasing this dream.

And now, here you were—onstage beside him, laughing during rehearsals, remembering your shared past. You’d never felt more grateful for a friend like EJ.

But lately… something had shifted.

You weren’t sure when it started. Maybe it was the night you craved donuts at 3 AM—and five minutes later, EJ showed up at your door, holding a box like he knew.

Or the little things: tying your shoelaces without asking, draping his jacket over your shoulders mid-filming like it was instinct.

You told yourself not to overthink it. You were just close. You were childhood friends, after all.

But you were overthinking. Every small gesture left your heart fluttering. Why?

Why did he have to make things difficult? These were all things he'd always done. Maybe it wasn’t EJ who changed—maybe it was you.

Maybe you’d finally realized that sometimes… you didn’t want to see him as a brother.

You wanted something more.

It cracked one morning during a casual vlog shoot.

You were in charge of cooking while the others played behind you. Everything was going fine—until the sharp sting of pain tore through your hand. A knife. A shallow cut. You moved to the sink on instinct.

“Shit,” you muttered, loud enough for the others to hear.

EJ was the first to react. He dropped his game controller and ran to you without hesitation, drawing curious looks from the rest of the group.

“Are you okay?” he asked, already reaching for your hand.

“I’m fine. Just a scratch,” you replied with a forced smile.

But he wasn’t convinced.

He led you to the couch—away from the others—and pulled out the first-aid kit. You sat quietly as he held your hand gently in his lap, wrapping a bandaid with practiced ease.

“You should be more careful next time,” he said softly, smiling just a little.

You couldn’t stop staring at him. His hair fell over his eyes, that same boyish grin you’d seen a thousand times. He was still EJ—your EJ—but something about him suddenly felt... different.

Your heart skipped a beat.

Why now? Not when you debuted. Not during training. Not even during all the long nights you spent laughing together over ramen and dreams. Why now?

Before you could stop yourself, your gaze locked with his.

And in that moment—quiet, weightless—you leaned in. Slowly, as if drawn by some unseen pull.

Then—

“AHHH!” Harua screamed from across the room, losing at the crocodile game.

You jumped. You blinked and pulled away, heart pounding.

Let’s pretend nothing happened, you told yourself.

But something had happened. And EJ knew it too.

Days passed. The air between you shifted.

His stares lingered longer. His touches were softer. His hugs stayed just a second too long.

You couldn't ignore it anymore. You didn’t see EJ as just a brother now. Not even close. His presence made your heart race, your thoughts scramble. Every casual brush of skin felt like something dangerous.

So, you decided to pull away. You had to. You couldn’t risk the group. Not your future. Not his.

Just until the feelings faded. Until you could look at him the same again.

But what you didn’t know was—EJ was pulling away too. Not because he didn’t care.

But because he did—too much.

As the leader, he knew the rules. Falling for you meant risking everything: your careers, your dreams, your bond.

Dating between members? Strictly off-limits.

And in his silence, he told himself he had to let go.

Even if it hurts.

But what crushed him most… was watching you drift into something else.

With K.

TAGS:

[scopophobia-polaris]

Hello, it's the new year and I haven't been...talking much for a long time.

As I've stated, I've had multiple health scares this year, and I -goddamn this is too formal, I dont like to talk about myself much, I'd rather keep things to myself, but I'm currently taking multiple meds for a formal diagnosis, right now I'm being treated for Bipolar. Turns out there was something up. I aint really afraid to talk about it, I mean lots of people get treated for many things and it's normal.

This was uh.....scary for me, I figured something was up and I mean I'm fine now but DAMN first 15 minutes of hearing that? Nasty. Lot of things that are super personal tied to just a lot of shit yada Yada I feel like shit for just being nonchalant about this but I don't know what else to do, I'm taking care of myself and trying to fix my life up.

But now that I'm getting to a point where I'm more stable, I'm starting to feel more ....me? Genuinely, it's gonna take me a long time to make myself get into a solid schedule, I dont think I'll ever have one, maybe the slight one i have now, but atleast I don't feel like I have 0 control over my life at this point.

Idk man I had some kind of control but I don't know...who am I kidding. I feel like a new person. I feel better, my body doesn't hurt as much.

I don't know if being a new person is a good or a bad thing for me but uh...idk idk idk maybe I kept reading through my scripts and realized something.

Anyways, now that I know when to take the meds so I can draw, I've been back to just? Drawing and having fun?

Really living by this its why I'm not online much, if I aint having fun what's the point.

BUT now I get to the uh...other shit.

So because of the meds stuff and all kinds of shit mostly......IM ABOUT TO LOSE INSURANCE...... and I've done a few things.

For starters. I'm setting up a patreon, I'm going to do it so that it would only charge when I make a post of 5-10 pages of the comic, I'm gonna get through my first half of chapter 4 before I ever even think if taking anything from ANYONE, so no monthly just for specificposts. Quite ffrankly, I do not like money, like in a way of it makes me nervous and I want people to get a bang out of their buck because I'd I don't make it good is it worth it????

tWO......I don't like advertising, I never did, I probably should of said I have them last few plushes during December (like everyone around me was saying to do and YET....there is less then 10😭) but I wanted people to be spending money on something worthwhile. Hell I mean, it's guilt, its massive guilt, there are people more in need and NOW MORE THAN EVER.....so to not feel like a thief, anyone who gets this critter here, I will donate a solid 30USD out of each purchase to a family in Gaza in need, of your choice of course. I need to pay for shipping but whatever else is left I will donate the rest. That should leave me around $40 on each plush and that's fine, I'm gonna save it for meds because when I go uninsured idk how long it's gonna be, maybe a bit maybe a while, I dont know yet but I wanna provide aid in some way. Like ceasefire don't mean shit until it's permanent, and I don't trust Israelis to hold true to any promise. So I want some of that money to atleast help SOMEONE. Because in the end I know I can get by but.

But my wife is the only person with a job.......😬😬😬😬😬

Besides all of that I'm sorry I haven't uploaded pages or drawings or anything, I wanna have a better relationship online, like I did when I was younger, when it was just fun and I had my own corner, maybe that'd nostalgia but I'm getting sick of social media, and maybe I don't wanna be walking on eggshells because of fandom whatever. So I will be trying to do more in the future, I hope yall have a good day.

And thank you again for all the patience with my slow ass 😭

[thebluespacecow]

I don't know shit about fuck but i Do know art things. So here are my Arcane hcs if and how they draw.

°'☆*~

It's obvious but Jinx is using cheap crayons that smear her hands, the kinds where when you press just a little hard they will 100% break. She's so Poscas in my brain. It makes sense for her to use paintmarkers, lots of them can go over anything. Big and bright and Fun. Though there's something so distinct in my brain of her going over the lines again and again, be it to fill out any spottienes, or because she just Needs to, something about the repetative motion just doesn't click quite the same with anything that isn't crayons. And of course there's spray pain too, i'm not forgeting the bbg. These are the big statements. No longer just doodles or a complusery need to fill out the blank space.

Vi never got to it. She was, of course, a little kid once, with a bright imagenation she'd share with Powpow to play, and scare, and giggle till they're colapsing into eatchother. So she did draw, she did. But it wasn't comfort, she sought that in other things. So, truly, i can see her only doing crude little doodles when Jinx actualy draws on paper, in the few spare corners that are there. And it's....nice, in a way. It'll be a little monster or a shitty (intentionaly bad, i mean) rendition of whoever's around she can giggle with Jinx about.

Mel is doing oil(paints and pastels!!!! pastels are more for fine fine aditions and long travels). Case closed. Go home folks. She's been doing this since young. Found a type of...solice and fascination in the old masters renditions. I can see Noxus having art as a means of glorifying the endless battle, dying in one. You know how it is. But Mel got good outside of that too. I think her the type to never truly proach portaits, she knows people well enough. It's the nature of Places, how they change, how they Feel, the wind and the sky, how waters curl and fold. It never got to be serious for her? She's dedicated a lot of time to it. Of course. She's been tought by the best. But it's a quiet passion, one she indulges in for herself.

We knowwwww Jayce sketches Viktor in his notebook. No shit that man has careful, steady hands when he needs them. He's an enginear. So i don't think the type of drawing he does is often in the artistic, but he has a control over his movements just as anyone who's worked that part of their brain long enough. So it's easy. And, yeah, Okay, maybe not easy, but when he's more so outside of himself than brainstorming, he'll drift...little curl of hair there....that soft look Viktor gets when he smiles here...and how his hands hold his cane in small, controled lines. He's not messy, he's just A Lot, and his notes reflect how he thinks things over. If Viktor gets i there then what of it?

You throw Anything at Ekko and he's done it. Acrylics? Water color? Guash? Chalk? Pastels(both kinds)? Color pencils? The boring kind(grafite)? Charcoal? Ink? Markers? The child kind? Alchochol markers(adult)? Printing? Yeahhhhhh, he's figured it out. And if he hasn't then he could. We've seen the murals, the wip paingings in AU!Powders hideout. He has a range of skill, eve if we've seen Paint mostly, it's a similar thing with Jayce in my mind. He'd simply find a way in a new medium because he already has an in depth experiance. Of course, it's still Zaun we're talking about, you get what you can, and that only makes me believe more that Ekko will Figure It Out with what he has. His materials aren't reflective of his skill. The kind that he's been building on since being little. It can't take up as much of his time as he'd like, he has a community to care for, but art is still a presance in his life, one which he clearly has a care for.

~'☆*°.

[hazbin-hotel-the-rewrite]

Now, then, for one of my favorites... Alastor profile >:D

Redesign info: I will say that as much as I love Alastor in canon... There are a lot of changes I want to make for him (out of love). Like I don't mind his reds but their too bright and their was the controversy a couple years back about his race and voodoo which I will remove (the voodoo not the mixed race creole I'm keeping it in) Plus I want to give him more deer elements and more colors (he needs some good browns and yellows) and his importance to the narrative(mainly first season) while he still be playing a major role he will step back a few so I can give either characters their share of the spotlight.

His redesign:

For his hair I decided to give his some curls and made them be based on one of his new aspirtation (Daveed diggs in his hamilton era) his hair is still red in this canon but the black parts are more of a dark brown(fun fact when he arrived in hell he only had the ronald McDonald hair color, he started dying in dark brown to compensate for his lack of hair color)

He is given more deer parts, such as a noticeable tail; his dear ears are where his normal ears should be; his antlers are metal; he has pink claws and deer shoes with a deer-like nose.

Outfit-wise, he has more muted reds compared to Canon. He also has many changes, such as pinstriped attire, a ribcage belt/corset(a gift from Rosie), and a bow tie replaced with a tie.

Theirs also two little knobs the one on the left controls his hearing, and the one on the right controls his volume.

For the mouth(besides historical accuracy for pencil mustache), he has a golden speaker-like mouth guard(which he can remove) that can glow and stuff, but his teeth...are another story.

He also has a more canon-accurate carbon microphone, but I did something different. While everyone did the star shape, I did a different shape to be more creative with him.

Personality/Canon lore Changes:

I feel like, for the most part, he will be kept similar to how he was in the canon; my only changes are that he's a bit more subtle with his whole evil-ness and that he's a little more wacky, like the pilot. While he's still important to the cast, he's more likely gonna appear a bit less, like he's only going to make an appearance in 1/2 in season 1 (which is like 14 episodes aka depending on how pacing goes it might be 28 chapters) , but I want him in less so other characters can get the spotlight. Oh, and no voodoo in here, he's gonna get a totally original magic system for himself in here.

Powers:

Like in canon, he can change his size due to being a overlord, also his Anteneas can be able to sense things much farther than what his normal ears can; they can also shock around when he’s thinking of things inside his head. Tentacles can’t still be summoned by him and he can still have a small army of weird little Black and white creatures, oh and his shadow does have consciousness too.

For his new powers… the best way I can describe it is Blood Magic, he can simply either cut his palm, or he has a couple of vials tucked in his corset. All he has to do is simply spread it around his hand and draw symbols on whatever, walls, floors, objects, food, and even demons and sinners themselves, and what can they do? Well, you just have to wait and see >:3

Lore:

For a lot of Alastor's lore in the afterlife is kept mostly the same, his arrival in hell was unexpected, and no one took him seriously, until overlords kept going missing (I would for making a timeline's sake, he would start his overlord domination around the late 1930s' to 1940 so around a 1-3 year of overlord slaughter) and their would only be around 6 powerful overlords still kept alive and around due to their powers and strength being able to over-top alastor (think like Carmilla(died 1800's) Zelestial (1400's), Rosie (who people don't know where she died or came from since she only became a overlord in the 1910's) and around 3 others who over the 1900s-2000's either retired or died.

And when he announced with his radio broadcast that he had collected all the overlord souls, he also collected souls from some sinners and lower-ring hell-born (imps, hellhounds, and a couple of succubi) who had tried to take him down but failed. While he has, as of right now, a few souls under his control, he mainly keeps husk(the former gambling overload) as his main soul to go and do stuff for him whenever he wants.

His friendships are rather few and little; With the overlords, it's complicated; he has a sort of respect for Zelestial, Carmilla a begrudging respect, and a huge disdain for the overlord of media Vox due to conflicts in the past, which made their relationship go from friendly work buddies to huge hatred. Others are little to none. The only true overlord friendship he does have is with Rosie, who is the only overlord he can manage a friendship with. Any other friendships is between two non-overlords.

Nifty and Mimzy; Mimzy, he knew her in his human lifetime and were buddies until Mimzy died in 1929 due to her boyfriend killing her for stealing all his money. Nifty, his maid, found this little bug in the trash, and while he was contemplating what to do with her, he decided to make her a maid(she doesn't have a soul contract with Alastor)

He has been gone for 7 long years after an overlord battle between him and Vox, which left Vox in a disastrous state. Hey, at least it gave Vox the excuse to upgrade himself. And now that he's back and all, he's working with the princess on her rehabilitation project... I wonder why.

(No human lore due to wanting to keep it a secret until the season 2 trailer comes out)

Outfits and human redesign

(I will update this if i can make more outfits for alastor)

[primadonnabish]

I have seen a few people make their own Kpop Demon Hunters OCs and I want to have a crack at it *spoilers ahead

As someone who loves character design I had an Idea for an OC for KPDH. Right now these are the concepts I don’t have a complete characters design yet but I have some ideas I’ll draw out sometime soon. Anyways here is my character:

Name: Kiki, she/her, Korean, she’s around the same age as the Saja Boys (whatever that is). Back story: She’s a siren (while the Saja boys are demons who use their song to steal souls, Sirens like Kiki are a type of aquatic demon who use their songs to lure people in to feed on their love and admiration.) She was originally a Siren that served in Gwi-ma’s court but after getting a taste of the world free from Gwi-ma’s rule she decided to perform a type of ancient ritual that broke her free from Gwi-ma, where she then proceeded to like disguised as a human who sings at a popular ocean themed dance club. However, because she wasn’t a professional who didn’t do the ritual entirely right, she is free from Gwi-ma’s control but can still hear his voice from his current plans of sending more demons to the human world to the past voices that haunt her of her past (what’s her past? idk yet). Eventually once Jinu and the Saja boys come back and team up with Huntrix to get rid of Gwi-Ma once and for all, Kiki joins their team as an informant and partner in combat. relationships: She’s a bit of a sassy bean with a soft side deep down (think Megara from Disney’s Hercules) she get’s along well with both Huntrix and The Saja Boys, but she gets long beat with Zoey over similarities and because of their cloudy day x sunshine friendship (something like Starfire and Raven’s friendship from Teen Titans). As for who she gets along with best from the Saja boys…

If you a least know me my favs of the Saja boys are Abs Saja, Jinu, & Mystery Saja, and my fav ship from KPDH is Abs Saja X Zoey and I am a firm believer who stands beside it. But say for this story it’s bit of an AU, most of the OG story of the movie stays the same but instead it’s Romance Saja who mostly flirts with Mira, Zoey simping for Abs Saja and Mystery Saja but ultimately falling for Mystery as the end. And Saja originally has a small crush on Zoey, but seeing how she likes Mystery Saja he lets her go and moves on. That’s when he wanders off into a nearby ocean themed dance club where he first meets Kiki and he is ENCHANTED. Did I create an oc to be shipped with one of my fav Saja boys Yes, but also making my own character who teams up with and hangs out with Huntrix & The Saja boys sounded like fun. But yeah, Abs is down bad for her but she initially just plays off his flustered flirting attempts as just jokes. But eventually she warms up to him, beginning to form a bond. I would say their relationship is like: black cat gf x golden retriever bf + Jessie and James from Pokémon. They are basically dumb & dumber in love, chaos meets chaos, super flirty and teasing with one another though it’s usually Kiki with the last laugh leaving Abs a nervous and flustered (but very cute) mess.

Powers & abilities: aside from luring people in her singing control water, she can walk and dance on top of the surface of water. Other abilities: can dance ballet, swimming, and on company she specializes in kicking and high-kicks. That’s all I have for now, I’m mainly doing this project for me but I also just did fun. More updates soon.