#I miss my PoF outfit

[ennunanaiurov]

They stare

More Guild Wars 2 art cuz I love this game and the newest expansion is 10000/10 and because I miss Rytlock tbh

[twatkcox]

[#TheFourWeekendPlan: 2024]

Hi everyone, Keihancarl here. It’s that time of the year once again, though it came earlier than expected.

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The Daily Ground Coffee (April 27th)

I decided to wear my typical layered outfit, mostly all-black with a splash of gray (the ninja socks) and beige (Naruto shirt), and spent the afternoon at the DGC (Daily Ground Coffee). I bought a couple of manga books from the toy and comic shop next door. I had a New York Cheesecake and a caramel chip Frappuccino.

Later that afternoon, I had an early dinner of katsu curry donburi at Hayashi (SM Fairview) and stayed for an hour at Fairview Terraces rooftop garden trying to work on the novel I’ve been working on since late last year.

No luck finding the poster for the upcoming Pinoy Otaku Festival 2024: Yume at Robinson's Novaliches, but of course, the event will definitely proceed as planned. They already uploaded the schedule to their Facebook page, but I’ve yet to see the list of exhibitors.

I was starting to get nervous about attending the upcoming POF event, but I knew I could manage. There’s only less than a week left.

Pinoy Otaku Festival 2024: Yume (May 4th-5th)

I’ve documented the entire POF event in a separate post (The Keihancarl Diaries: May 4-5, 2024), so I’ll just feature a summary here.

And the main part of T4WP is here, the Pinoy Otaku Festival 2024: Yume, held at the Trade Hall of Robinsons Novaliches. As usual, I was far too nervous about going there, but I had to muster up my courage or else I’ll regret it later.

I skipped the first day of the event, but I somehow managed to compensate for missing that day by going to the event earlier than usual on both the second and third days. I also stayed at the venue most of the time, only going out to eat and take a quick trip to the restroom. I only managed to take a short stroll at the nearby SM Fairview, checking a few shops and dining at two restaurants (Popeyes and Tamoya Udon, both in SM Fairview). At the end of the second day of the event, I had a cup of ice-blended caramel coffee at The Coffee Bean And Tea Leaf (still in SM Fairview) before going home.

I bought a lot of merch, including some English-language manga and a small figure of Kei Tsukishima (the bespectacled blonde guy from Haikyuu!!). I also had a lot of selfies with some of the cosplayers. I even got to have a selfie with AllYellow Joshua, who is also one of the event hosts.

I really had a lot of fun at the event, even though I missed out on some of the awesome segments, especially the panel discussions. It sure was a really awesome weekend.

A Weekend At The Fort (BGC, McKinley, Mitsukoshi) (May 18th)

Read the TKD post here.

Yeah, I was initially planning to go there the week right after POF 2024: Yume, but I decided to postpone it to the following weekend since it coincides with the Mother's Day celebration. I decided to go red and black for this trip, and I spent the entire afternoon at The Fort (Bonifacio Global City, McKinley Hill, Uptown Bonifacio, Mitsukoshi BGC, and Burgos Circle).

Anyway, the first part of that trip was incredibly chaotic. I managed to get stuck in traffic along North Avenue, forced to walk all the way from North Avenue-Mindanao Avenue junction to the MRT North Avenue Station via Trinoma, and the MRT I rode came to a sudden halt near Shaw Boulevard Station (and we were asked to switch trains afterward). I was so stressed out that I managed to curse while loading my Beep card and dropping my bag simultaneously. Later on, my selfies at the bridge (Venice Grand Canal Mall) turned out to be unsatisfactory, thus I managed to spend more than an hour inside that mall. But despite this, I somehow managed to enjoy most parts of the mall-hopping trip, especially getting a free comic book at Fully Booked (SM Aura) and visiting Mitsukoshi BGC for the first time since it opened in 2022.

Passing by One Ayala Makati after spending the entire afternoon at BGC, I knew that the FanFes was being held at The Spaces at One Ayala, but didn't bother checking it out. I just saw a couple of cosplayers in one of the restrooms.

Overall, the trip somehow went well, but I didn't do well on time management due to stress. Blame it on the traffic and that sudden inconvenience on the train. Well, at least it didn't rain that day, but the sweltering heat sucks.

Cafe Luca, With A Cup Of Spanish Latte Iced Coffee And A Slice Of Blueberry Cheesecake (May 25th)

And I’m finally back at my favorite hangout place. It’s almost been a month since my last visit. I decided on Cafe Luca since I haven’t visited it in quite a while. There was a slight chance of rain, but I made it there without bringing out my umbrella.

I just had a cup of Spanish latte and a slice of blueberry cheesecake, the latter being the first slice of cheesecake I had at that cafe. And then the rain started falling just as I enjoyed my time there. I was not in the mood to write anything so I just focused on taking selfies and uploading them to my Instagram account.

On to my next stop, the three Fairview malls. Starting off with SM Fairview, I only checked a few shops, mainly bookstores and clothing shops. I passed by the supermarket to see if I could buy a box of UCC iced creamy coffee mix (pineapple caramel), but of course, they’re actually pricey. Later on, I bought another Shoyo Hinata shirt at the department store.

Crossing over to Robinsons Novaliches, I had an early dinner at Jollibee (Chickenjoy, rice, and burger steak). I later bought a box of the aforementioned iced coffee mix and a box of peach black tea. And while I’m at it, I also purchased a Magnum ice cream bar, a mango yogurt parfait covered by white Belgian chocolate. I decided to check Daiso first before heading back to SM Fairview.

After passing by SM Fairview and buying the orange Shoyo Hinata shirt, I proceeded to my final stop, Fairview Terraces. I bought a replacement cleaning cloth at Owndays (I thought I lost the one that came with my pair of glasses until I managed to accidentally dig it out of my bag when I got home) and checked a few shops including the newly-opened Lawson at the rooftop garden. I also noticed that Zus Coffee has opened at the rooftop garden as well. I’ll try their coffee drinks very soon.

Nothing special, really. I just wanted to conclude it with a visit to my favorite hangout place and enjoy the afternoon, though I didn’t bother checking the event area where POF 2024: Yume was held two weeks ago (I took a photo of it the week after the event, Mother’s Day).

Postscript

It was really kind of frustrating when things didn’t go as planned. I managed to enjoy this year’s T4WP just the same… well, not the same as the previous ones.

For next year, I’ll try a different approach, and that will only focus on the otaku event and the mall-hopping trip. It won’t be called T4WP for that reason, so I might just call it simply Two Weekends (I don’t feel like using the article “the” for some reason).

Well, I’m somehow glad that my plans had proceeded, but not how I wanted them to be.

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All pictures are uploaded to my Instagram account, @kcox_105.

[lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie]

Random Concept Art From A Horror Game I’ll never make:

Okay so I had an idea for a Sanders Sides Post POF horror game. I ended up playing with pixel art and made these little concept arts! I can’t program for shit or even code so it’ll never become an actual game. But for those that are curious, here’s an explanation.

Game Title: The Aftermath

Plot: You are playing as Virgil and all the other sides besides Remus have retreated to their rooms and no one is talking about what happened in POF. A few days after the video, Virgil realizes no one’s heard from Roman. So he goes to check on him. He learns bit by bit about what happened in POF as he speaks to the others along the way. More determined to help Roman, Virgil continues to Roman’s room. He finds it darker than usual, the colors starting to turn dull. And as he explores more and more of Roman’s room, he finds that something is not right with Roman. 

Fun fact: My inspiration for this comes from the FNAF series, specifically the arcade style minigames. 

Virgil can interact with a lot of stuff in Roman’s room.

Bonus - Virgil when he interacts with things: 

Roman’s door: Fuck...When did this change color?...Are those cracks? Princey’s got an...interesting design choice. I hope it’s just a design choice.

Roman’s shelf: Damn. That’s a big shelf. It’s like he stole one of L’s shelves...Didn’t think Princey would have books for it too...Oh, they’re sketch books. And of course, he has one of Remus’ books...Hm, those books have our colors. Should I be weirded out? I’m a little weirded out. Probably shouldn’t touch it though...What’s with the big box down here. *thump* Damn, heavy too. Wait, who keeps a treasure box that big in a shelf? Roman, apparently.

Roman’s bulletin board and desk: Princey really loves spending his time here if he isn’t getting himself killed in the Imagination...Another interesting design choice for a bulletin board. He worked so hard on these sketches. He loved them. So why would he rip them?...Princey never did keep his desk clean. There’s always something covering the surface...Seriously, what’s with the color coded books? Are there secrets in there about us? Probably shouldn’t overthink it at the moment. 

Roman’s bed: Of course, a bed only fit for royalty...I’m never going to admit it to him but Princey’s bed is actually super comfy...Look’s like Princey hasn’t slept in ages. The bed looks untouched. Oh princey...you’re starting to make me worry more than usual...Princey loved those fairy lights. It looks so wrong to see them going out one by one...Of course he has more boxes under the bed. Looks personal too. Well, it’s better than the shit I’ve seen under Remus’ bed. 

Roman’s vanity: Princey’s third favorite place in the world. Even the old lights around his mirror are dull...Damn, Princey’s not having a good time judging by the mirror. I just hope that thing about 7 years of bad luck for breaking a mirror isn’t true...It was always fun doing makeup stuff with Princey here. I miss it...More of Princey’s fairy lights. Looks like he tore these down.

Roman’s mirror: Only Prince Roman would have two mirrors in his room...Fuck, Roman, just how much are you hurting? Seriously, 7 years of bad luck isn’t a fucking joke...Wow, that bad, huh, Princey?...I’m surprised Remus hasn’t shown up to eat all this glass.

Roman’s mannequin and other sketches: I remember how much Princey loved designing costumes. He made my Christmas sweater too...Princey loved his outfit. Why would he destroy it? Especially the sash. So much for slaying...Roman’s designs used to be so important to him. What changed his mind about them?

The door to the Imagination: The Imagination. Princey’s most favorite place in the mindscape. It’s fun sometimes. Unless Remus is there too...I can feel the cold air coming from outside. It’s never cold in the Imagination. At least on Princey’s side of the Imagination...Shit, the door’s open. Princey never leaves the door open.

Roman’s closet: I’m half tempted to make a joke here. But I’m not gonna...Roman’s closet is usually overflowing with all his fancy outfits and costumes. It’s so weird to see it empty. Looks like he destroyed another outfit too...This closet is much bigger than it looks. Walk-in sized, really. Only the best for Princey...I really liked that poster on Princey’s closet. Why did that have to be destroyed too?

Roman’s paint stuff: I still remember Princey begging me to model for him so he could paint. I couldn’t say no. He was just so excited...Roman loves painting. Though, he hasn’t done that lately...Interesting masterpiece, Princey. Love the blobby colored shapes? I dunno. I’m not good at this art critique shit...More destroyed things. I didn’t think he’d rip the canvases too. He loved those canvases...Great. Even more torn sketches. I really liked those too. If only Princey knew how cool his art was.

Roman’s bathroom sink: Only Roman would have a big mirror in the bathroom and a fancy towel...And add 7 more years of bad luck for another shattered mirror...Why would Princey need this many bottles of foundation? There’s some under the sink too.

Roman’s bathtub: Ah yes, a big bathtub. An essential for every prince. I can’t say anything, I’ve been in this tub. This thing’s got jets. JETS...I don’t know how to feel about bathing by those windows. At least there’s no actual outside to them though.

[kerra-and-company]

For Kerra’s 1st Birthday

So. You know how sometimes we imagine animatics in our heads that we never make? I did that, but I was picturing it in such detail that I wrote it down. I still don’t have the skills to animate or draw it, but I figured it might be a good birthday present for Kerra. :)

I’m a couple weeks or so late (very sorry, Ker!), but I’m counting it as her first birthday present. I’ve been playing this game for over a year now, which isn’t long compared to a lot of you, but I’ve definitely fallen in love with it, and I appreciate the community here on Tumblr, no matter how big it might or might not be. Thanks for a great first year, everyone. Love you guys, seriously <3

(I don’t know if this is going to be something other people are super interested in reading or not, but if you are, go for it--it’s under the cut! :) The song is Dirt Around The Tree by Candi Carpenter, and you can listen to it here or on Spotify if you want. Thanks again, folks. I appreciate you a lot.)

[Introductory music plays over brief intro text. Just before the beginning of the song, the text fades to dense clouds.]

I was born in the fall

 [The clouds clear, revealing Caledon. The camera/POV swoops through quickly in the direction of the Grove, with various recognizable places there visible as it does so.]

The season when everything is dying

 [Camera continues its swoop. If we look closely, we can see that it’s winter, or at least sometime cool, in Caledon. There’s no snow, but there’s frost, and many trees are missing leaves. Farms and gardens are bare.]

We must know what we're in for

 [Camera enters the Grove, skirting past the trunk of the Pale Tree and slowing down by pods of not-yet-awakened sylvari. It settles on one.]

That's why we come into this world crying

 [The pod splits open, and Kerra falls out. Nearby sylvari try to help her up, but she scrambles in an uncoordinated fashion to her feet, calling out Caithe’s name.]

 My mother always told me life's not fair

 [The Pale Tree in the Omphalos Chamber, arms open wide, eyes closed. On the word “life”, the camera cuts to Kerra in “Beneath a Cold Moon”, fighting Tiachren. On “not”, the camera cuts to Kerra standing over bodies, next to Caithe and various Wardens. One of the bodies is Tiachren’s. On “fair”, the camera cuts back to the Omphalos Chamber, but this time to Kerra alone. Caithe and Aife are just barely in the image (their shoulders at most), but the focus is on Kerra’s face—troubled and grieving but not quite crying.]

That's probably why I ran away

 [The camera spins back around so that we see Kerra looking at the Pale Tree. This time, she’s flanked by the three sylvari order reps, and Cai—the rep from the Order of Whispers—is holding her hand out. Kerra looks down at it. On “why”, the camera cuts to just their hands, clasped in a handshake. On “ran,” the camera cuts to Kerra and Tybalt on the mission to rescue Demmi. They’ve just opened the door to the room where Demmi was locked up, and Kerra’s holding her hand out to Demmi.]

I don't think that I felt safe at home

 [Camera zooms in on Kerra’s hand, going to brush her hair-leaves back. When it zooms back out, we see Kerra sitting next to Rel. They’re on the beaches of the Weeping Isle, and her mouth is open, like she’s saying the song lyrics. She’s more in silhouette here than a clear picture, and the focus is on Rel’s face. His forehead is furrowed as if in concern.]

And I don't think that's ever gonna change…

 [Kerra’s face comes into clearer focus, still mouthing the words, but this time she looks straight into the camera for a second. As the camera pans around her head, the landscape behind her changes to an airship. She starts to turn away from the camera on the word “ever”, and by “change”, she’s facing away, and we can see her standing at the front of an airship alongside Destiny’s Edge, flying to confront Zhaitan. Kerra’s wearing a long coat now, brown with just-visible green embroidery, and it flaps in the breeze.]

 Tell me, what's at the root of all my guilt and anger?

 [The image blurs as the camera zooms towards the ground and under it. We see roots, twisting and shifting, twining together.]

What's in the dirt around the tree?

 [The camera pans up, more slowly this time so the image is clear. We exit the ground, passing through the levels of the Grove, ending on the plaza in the center where the Pale Tree’s leaves spiral up towards the Omphalos Chamber.]

Heartbreak runs in the family

 [Three images. The first is the Pale Tree, eyes down and half-closed. She looks pained. On “runs”, the image shifts to Caithe, with shiny eyes and a shadowy Faolain behind her, side by side with Trahearne, who’s holding Caladbolg with a gaze that’s both tired and far away. On “family”, the image shifts to Kerra, still in the same outfit from the airship, but with a dark background. Her eyes are wide and unsure.]

That's why I'm still running from me.

 [The camera zooms out to show two Kerras, now, separated by just enough distance that they’d have to move closer to touch (so maybe a couple meters or so). The first is Kerra as a sapling, in her sylvari armor, and the second is Kerra in her airship outfit. They each look at the camera. On the word “running”, they turn to each other. On “me”, the second Kerra turns away and takes a step away from the first.]

 [On the instrumentals, Kerra steps from the black void into the snow, her bow on her back and Felix beside her. She looks worn and tired, her coat torn. She walks from there into a house with Nisha (with a stack of letters), and she smiles. When she leaves the house, her wardrobe changes from brown to blue, and she walks into Southsun, facing Canach and then meeting with him in his cell after. Other images flow after, briefly—her and Dragon’s Watch facing Scarlet, then the party with the nobles, then facing Aerin. Finally, it settles on them all together before the summit, waiting below the Omphalos Chamber for the dignitaries to arrive.]

 I read that trauma is genetic

 [The camera pans up to the Omphalos Chamber, which is under attack by the Shadow of the Dragon. We focus on the Shadow first as it roars (on the word “trauma”) and bares its teeth, and then we pan to Kerra’s face on “genetic”. She’s terrified—but she’s terrified of what the Shadow means, not that she can’t defeat it.]

Who was the first to hand it down?

 [Brief flashes of scenes again. Kerra briefly trying to help her Mother as menders run towards them on “Who”, Kerra-as-Caithe (and Nisha alongside her) watching Wynne’s confession on “first”, Trahearne giving the order to fire on “hand”, and airships falling over Maguuma on “down”.]

Was it my grandpa or his father?

 [Kerra, wearing her HoT clothes, standing beside Canach and Caithe to face Mordremoth, the camera fully focusing on him as of the word “grandpa” and leaving them as silhouettes with weapons at his feet.]

You can't ask someone who ain't around

 [Kerra running to Trahearne while he’s trapped in Mordremoth’s vines and hanging above the ground, grabbing his hand in hers. On “someone”, the image melts into Kerra holding Caladbolg out in Mordremoth’s mindscape, alone. She’s pointing it at a large seed, and Trahearne’s silhouette is behind her. She’s protecting him. On “ain’t”, Kerra begins to glow purple, and the image fades to brightness and then Mordremoth’s power exploding through the jungle, like the cutscene in canon, implying his death.]

 Tell me, what's at the root of all my guilt and anger?

 [Again, like before in the first iteration of the chorus, the camera blurs as we zoom down to roots, shifting and intertwining, but this time we can see clearly that they’re growing, too.]

What's in the dirt around the tree?

 [Again, we pan through the levels of the Grove to reach the centerpoint with the spiral branches and leaves of the Pale Tree.]

Heartbreak runs in the family

 [And again, we have the three sets of images, but they’re slightly different. The Pale Tree is dimmer, clearly wounded and in pain even if the wounds themselves are not visible. The shadow of Faolain looks like the Mordrem version of her, and Caladbolg is shattered. Kerra’s in her HoT outfit now, with nicks in a few of her leaves. She’s not much different physically, but something in her expression makes her look older.]

That's why I'm still running from me.

 [And last but not least for repeats, we enter the blank void again, but there are three Kerras this time—sapling-Kerra, Zhaitan-Kerra, and HoT-Kerra. They all start off looking at the camera. On “running”, sapling-Kerra and Zhaitan-Kerra look at HoT-Kerra, and she looks back at them. On “me”, she turns and takes a step away from them.]

 [Instrumentals follow, and the steps turn into a full-on run as she crashes into Canach and Nisha’s arms, laughing. Her outfit switches to her LWS3 one as she swings from their arms to Tarir, watching Aurene hatch and pulling her close. Caithe is in that image too, awe and faint affection on her face. As the deeper strings are overrun with lighter notes, a few scenes flicker by—Lazarus awakening, the battle with Caudecus, Balthazar’s reveal. The strings reach a high note as Kerra is shown on the airship to Elona, her clothes changing again to those she wears in PoF. Vlast’s death is shown, a bright light and Balthazar and crystals, followed by Kerra in Kesho and then a flash of her traversing the desert on her raptor. The notes begin to downswing into the bridge as the battle on the mountaintop comes into focus, Kerra fighting Balthazar hand-to-hand with Caladbolg, and on the final few notes, we see him slash down at her where she’s lying, barely breathing, on the ground. There’s darkness, and on the last note, she opens her eyes in the Domain of the Lost. They’re red.]

 I wanna be more than a lost little girl

 [Spirit-Kerra takes a step forward. She picks her bow up off the ground on “be”, meeting Nenah’s eyes as her guide gestures towards a hill. Glowing blue silhouettes of memories are visible in the distance, but only just barely. On “lost”, we see the full image of Kerra looking towards the hill, determined.]

I'm gonna grow up someday

 [The camera shows Kerra climbing the mountain, past various memory images. Some we’ve seen in the video, some we haven’t. In the last image, right on/after the word “someday”, we can see Caladbolg at Kerra’s side.]

Maybe I'll plant another family tree

 [Kerra pauses at a memory of her with her partners. It’s not one we’ve seen before, but they’re all smiling at something or someone the memory doesn’t show. Canach’s arm is around Kerra’s waist, Nisha’s is around her shoulder, and she’s holding them both. On “another”, she reaches out as if to touch it but stops just before she does.]

Somewhere far, far away

 [Kerra continues and reaches the top of the mountain. The memory there is Aurene, still very much a baby, desperately trying to protect Kerra, and then being wrapped in chains. She looks at the image for a few seconds, blue light giving her face an eerie cast, before grasping Caladbolg’s hilt and nearly leaping down the mountain on “away”.]

 [As the music upswings to the final chorus/verse, Kerra bows to the Judge, slashes through the Eater of Souls, and rushes past a very irritated Joko into the portal back to Tyria.]

 Far from the root of all my guilt and anger

 [The light from the portal fades into a cloudless sky and a vast desert. On “guilt”, the camera pans over to the mountain where Kerra fought Balthazar. Wisps of smoke still come from it, but they’re faint. We can see figures on the mountain, but not well enough to determine features (though if you’ve played PoF you could guess who most of them are).]

Blood in the dirt and on the leaves

 [The words describe what we’re seeing. Kerra’s blood is on the sandy dirt of the mountaintop, and it’s splattered in specks on her hair-leaves and face.]

Tell me, what's at the root of all my guilt and anger?

 [On “Tell”, Kerra opens her eyes wide. They’re faint purple, as they should be. On “me” she sits up straight, gasping. As the rest of the phrase plays out, we see what she is seeing as her gaze tracks across her friends. Kasmeer, Rytlock…Canach and Nisha. Kasmeer has a tentative but disbelieving smile on her face. Rytlock looks very much like “what the fuck”.]

Am I who I'm supposed to be?

 [There’s a beat while Kerra stares at Canach and Nisha and they stare back at her, but on “supposed”, her partners reach their hands out to her. She looks back at them, wide-eyed, like she’s about to cry.]

Heartbreak runs in the family

 [On the musical downswing, the image fades into current Kerra in the blank void. Just her, no one else. She’s sitting on the ground, in clothing that’s damaged and burned, with too-bright eyes.]

That's why I'm still running from me.

 [There’s six Kerras in total now, in a line as they’ve been in the previous choruses, but all but the first and the last fade into the background on “me”, leaving just sapling-Kerra and PoF-Kerra to stare at each other across the distance of the blank void. Both sitting, both very different. The distance is much larger than a meter.]

Heartbreak runs in the family

 [The three picture sets flash, but this time they’re interspersed with Canach and Nisha moving towards Kerra, and they’re different now. On “Heart-”, the image of the Pale Tree is of her with the Menders, giving them a faint smile. On “break”, we see Canach and Nisha taking a step forward. On “runs”, we see Caithe holding a tiny Aurene in her arms, and they both look overjoyed. Trahearne no longer has Caladbolg and his face is scarred to look half-Mordrem, but he’s standing next to Rel, who’s laughing as he kisses the back of Trahearne’s hand. On “the”, we fully fade back to the mountaintop, and Canach and Nisha take another step forward before throwing Kerra into their arms. At the end of this line, we see Kerra crying and holding them tight, with Kas wiping her own tears away and Rytlock starting to laugh with unexpected relief.]

Why am I still running from me?

 [Slowly, the image fades back into sapling-Kerra and PoF-Kerra in the void, staring at each other. PoF-Kerra is still crying, but on “me”, she smiles, too.]

 [As the final instrumentals play out, both of them stand up. They run toward each other, and they meet in the middle with a tight hug, burying their faces in each other’s shoulder.]

 [THE END]

[beauty-and-passion]

Hi there!! I absolutely adore all of your analysis posts, they make my day seeing them. They're always well thought out and make me kind of jealous that I don't have your brain. I especially like your Janus analysis and the three-parter you did for POF. That said, is it ever established in canon that Janus is actually Thomas's self preservation? Or is it something in subtext that the fandom latched onto? Also, what do you think the rules are for Janus' talking in lies?

​Oh no, your words are too powerful, my heart is melting away, help! <3 <3 <3

Aside from jokes, thank you so much, I'm very happy you appreciated my analysis! They took a long time, but I did them with all my love and I'm always glad to know my love reached all of you <3

Speaking of your questions: is it established in canon that Janus' is Thomas' self preservation? Yes! And it was Patton who said it, during Can Lying Be Good:

[Patton]: Kiddo, simply put, Deceit is an inner coach that acts with the one intention of self-preservation.

So we ​basically knew from the start that he was Thomas' self-preservation - and that's why I was sure he would've been accepted, sooner or later. You can't exactly reject your self-preservation, otherwise you would be dead. Literally :P

The idea of rules for Janus' talking in lies is something the fandom likes a lot and well, I think it's funny to see it in fictions and headcanons, but I personally don't think he follows any rules regarding lies.

We saw in canon that Janus says whatever he wants and he just likes to use lies - he's the self-proclaimed Lord of the Lies after all.

But it's also true his lies aren't just blatant lies. They have different meanings/uses:

sarcasm ("Love the new outfit, Roman")

a way to mess with the others ("I didn't say 'liar', I said 'lawyer'. Totally different")

to mock/make fun of other sides ("Clever retort, and condensing statement, and cool costume" to Virgil)

to scare ("You foolish dummy. I am, and always HAVE BEEN, Patton")

And, of course, a small part is just pure lies because yes (like when he found the Scooby Doo tag he missed in Embarrassing Phases and, after a small moment of surprise, he said he wasn't looking for it).

But we also saw he has no problem telling the truth, when he wants. He told the truth in the courtroom, when he said "I don't want Thomas to be disadvantaged in a world where you can die for not following the laws made in the name of a lie". He didn't lie after the courtroom and he didn't lie in POF.

So I think his lying is more something he really enjoys to do, just like Logan likes to infodump information about everything. And, of course, if you're a sarcastic little bitch like Janus, lying is necessary XD

[thecatprince]

A Heart Can Be Broken But It Still Beats On

Read it on AO3

Summary: Roman breaks after spending so long trying to do what’s right and failing. The others try and help him, but he lashes out at all of them.

Warnings: Depressed Roman, Suicidal Roman, He lashes out at all the others specifically Janus, Virgil, Logan and Patton, so a bit of character negativity. Really just a lot of angst.

Authors Notes: Another Roman Post-POF Angst Fic? By me? More likely than you might think. I had a lot of fun writing this. Credit for a bit of Roman’s speech goes to @unring-this-bell‘s comic (which you should go check out)

Inspiration credit goes to @transformationloveb. I took some of your prompts and sort of mashed them together, and I think you might like this. 

Words: 2659   

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Roman stumbled through the rooms of the mindscape. He felt so empty, so deflated and so broken, so desperately, painfully broken. He felt like crying, but no tears would come. He felt so useless, so helpless, so hurt. No one needed him, no one wanted him, and he wouldn’t be surprised if no one even liked him. He felt so fucked up, so goddamn useless, so pathetic. Roman turned the corner to head down the hall to his room trying to keep it together until then. Unfortunately, his room was at the very end.

He heard Remus’ chaotic cackle and it took all of his strength not to break down then and there. As if there wasn’t enough in the world to remind Roman of how pathetic he was, how horrible he was, how disgusting and unwanted he was. He could vaguely hear a voice scream ‘REMUS’ and his thoughts just got louder. If they hated Remus then he couldn’t imagine how much they hated him. Janus words echoed in his head, “If it wasn’t for the moustache, I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is.”

He heard voices coming from Virgil’s room, and he looked in as he passed. He saw Virgil and Remus sitting on the floor, bottles of nail polish spread in between them. Virgil was evidently trying to stop Remus from drinking all the nail polish, and they were both laughing. Roman felt a wave of rage flood his body, replaced quickly by the overwhelming feeling of hurt and betrayal. Painting their nails had been a small thing that only Roman and Virgil had done for the longest time now. Whenever one of them was overwhelmed they would go into one of their rooms and get out the large assortment of nail polish Virgil had stored in his room. Of course you would choose him over me, Roman thought bitterly, staring at the two sides. “Hey Ro-Ro,” Remus said cheerily, catching sight of his brother. “Wanna join us?”

Virgil turned around to face Roman, his face immediately turning into one of guilt, then concern as he took in the other sides face. “Of course you replace me with him. Why am I even surprised?” Roman fought back the tears that threatened to spill forth. “Even you prefer him to me.”

“Roman-“ Virgil began, a mixture of guilt and worry on his face.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Roman said. He turned and ran down the hall way. He was vaguely aware of Virgil calling after him, but he didn’t care. He was all out of caring. He needed to get away, to go anywhere but here. He would do anything to make the pain, the loneliness, the brokenness go away. He barely payed any attention to his surroundings as he ran forward and opened the door to the Imagination. He stopped when he saw the state of it.

The green fields and peaceful woods were gone, replaced by brown valleys and dead trees. His kingdom had disappeared, and the sky, usually a bright, brilliant blue, was now a stormy grey. Roman recovered from the shock of how different it looked, and continued to run. He wasn’t sure where he was running to, he only knew that anywhere was better than here, where he was constantly reminded of how unwanted he was and how much everyone disliked him. He kept running until he was out of breath, until his lungs ached and his head was pounding. Even though it hurt, the pain felt so good and refreshing.

He fell to his knees and began tearing at his prince outfit, trying to ruin as much as he could. He didn’t deserve any of this, not his signature sash that now made him sick to look at, not his once pristine white top with the gold embroidery that he had spent such time on. He felt some sort of sick satisfaction at tearing apart the outfit he had spent hours on years ago. He was so naïve back then. He had believed he was worthy of their love, that he was loved, that what he did was good enough. Roman continued to ruin his costume until he was just wearing rags, and he was just left feeling empty. He wanted to cry, to let it all out, to do anything to get rid of all the horrible things he felt, but the tears wouldn’t come. He just sat there, all alone, surrounded by fields of nothing. He shook as silent sobs racked his body, but still he didn’t cry. He was too broken, too empty to cry.

After what felt like hours, Roman calmed down. His face was dry, his body ached and his ragged costume was in a heap on the ground in front of him. If he just stayed here, would anyone miss him? Would they even care enough to look, or would they just continue on with their day as if nothing had happened? As if Roman had never even existed? He could just imagine them sitting around the dinner table, Remus in the chair Roman usually occupied, all laughing or rolling their eyes at some bad pun Patton had made, or listening to Logan recite facts on astrology. They were probably having a grand old time without him. Probably happy too. What he would give to feel happy again, to feel anything other than this aching sadness.

Roman stayed there for a few more minutes until he heard voices in the distance. He must be hallucinating surely. They were meant to be together having fun. Why couldn’t they just leave him alone? Why did have to come back and remind him of how shit he was, how much of a burden he was to all of them. Roman wanted to run away, to make sure they never saw him again. But his body ached and he was so tired that he could barely stand. He felt them come towards him and stand behind him. He didn’t know exactly who was there, but he knew that he didn’t want to see them, any of them. He heard them shuffle around, and he could imagine the looks of disgust being passed between them. He could imagine what they must be thinking looking at him crouching down on the ground, wearing rags, so dirty and so pathetic. They would leave soon. They would regret coming. They would realise that they had made a mistake and that he wasn’t worth it. They would leave and forget about him. Forget about how stupid and naïve he was. He waited for the footsteps to recede, but the more he waited the more he realised that they weren’t leaving. He heard someone clearing their throat. He winced, waiting to hear what they would say. Probably how much they hated him and how he was letting down Thomas.

“Roman,” a voice said and Roman felt a renewed wave of rage as he realised that Janus had the audacity to come and see Roman. He had expected sugar coated reasons why Roman had failed from Patton, rude comments from Virgil, hard cold facts from Logan and even something from his twin, but he had not expected Janus to try and sweet talk him the reasons why he had failed this time. He couldn’t take any more from him any longer.

“WHAT?!” Roman yelled, standing up in a fit of anger and whirling around to face Janus. He paused when he realised that everyone was there, but quickly regained himself. “What do you want from me now?”

“Roman-“ Patton began hesitantly, but Roman was so sick of having to bend over backwards to try and do the right thing. He was so sick of being built up only to crumble again. He was so sick of feeling this way, of being treated as another pawn in Janus’ grand scheme, of being manipulated and deceived and straight up overlooked. He had sacrificed everything to do what everyone wanted him to do, he had done everything they wanted and he had been thrown in the dirt like a toy they were sick of.

“I tried being nice, I tried to be better, I have done everything you wanted, what more could you possibly want from me?”

“I-“ Janus began, but Roman cut him off.

“I have sacrificed everything to be the person you wanted me to be, but I am never good enough.”

“Roman-“

“SHUT UP!!!... I mean, don’t call me that. I’m not Roman. He is the person you wanted me to be and I have killed myself trying to make you happy, all of you,” Roman’s voice was cracking and he barely paid attention to the shocked faces before him. “And I am so DONE with being treated like dirt, for doing everything you wanted, for trying to learn and to do what everyone wants me to do and then have it thrown back in my face. Do you know how much it hurts me, every time I do what I think is right, do what I think is good, only to be told that it’s not, that I am wrong? Every fucking time I try and learn from an experience I am told something different. I was mean to Virgil so I try to make it up by being nice to Deceit. And do you know how that goes? I end up being manipulated and in the wrong. So I learn. And now I am once again wrong. So wrong. And I don’t know where I went wrong. I tried being everything you wanted, but I always end up being wrong.

“And no one sees the tears, no one notices the sadness, no one knows the pain, but you all see my mistakes. So I am done. I am done with being the nice guy, done with feeling so pathetic and sad and empty. I am done with trying to be everything you want me to be, tired of having all my ideas criticised and looked over, tired of having to sacrifice everything to be half of what you want of me. Nothing I ever do is good enough, I am not good enough for you. So you will no longer have to deal with ‘Roman’. No more mess, no more drama, no more noise. Sounds nice doesn’t it? Nothing unnecessary getting in your way now.” Roman stood there, taking in the variety of shocked and worried faces. Patton stood out to him the most, tears running down his face.

“Roman, I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you and you know I love you,” Patton said gently, wiping the tears away.

“Do I though?” Roman asked, sounding more broken than ever. “Patton, you are amazing. I look up to you so much, and for years I have followed in your footsteps, believing you knew the way. And I still believe you do. But you had a choice. And you chose him.” Roman gestured towards Janus. “And do you know how much I suffer to make you happy? I sacrificed the callback to go to the wedding, to make you happy, because when you are happy, Thomas is happy and that is my top priority. But I all I get in return are lies and betrayal. You’ve made your choice, Patton. I have defended you and done everything you wanted, and I was so happy to do that because I was so convinced I was right in doing so. But you didn’t even defend me today. You could’ve done something, you could’ve been on my side, but you chose him over me. He is a liar and cheat and he will build you up just so you can fall down harder, and you chose him over me. What did I do wrong, Patton?”

“Roman-“ Virgil tried to cut in, to try and explain things, but Roman wasn’t finished.

“Oh, don’t even get me started on you.” Roman turned to face Virgil full on, his voice breaking with anger and hurt. “You constantly put me down. I do everything I can to be nice. I try to stop calling you nicknames, I try to stop insulting, I apologise over and over again, and yet you never do the same. I have tried time and time again to be a better person, and yet you put me down over and over again. You insult me, you shoot down all of my ideas, and every time it feels like a slap in the face. And I am doing everything I can think of to make it up to you for all those mean comments I made before you were accepted, but I am trying my best and I never get a kind word back. Nothing I ever do is ever good enough. And I get that not everything is fine and dandy being Anxiety, but I try my best and it never gets me anywhere. And as for you,” Roman began, turning to Logan, whose face was almost impossible to read, “none of my work is ever good enough for you. I am too extra, too passionate for you. My ideas are always terrible and I can never seem to measure up to your impossible standard of creativity. And you think that you are getting ignored. It would be nice to know that you were at least listened to recently. Do you remember where I was when you were giving your neat little explanation when my dear little brother showed up? I was knocked out on the ground. You think you’re being ignored. You have no idea how much you are being heard.”

“And I am just so sick of being told I am wrong, that I am not enough, that I am just no more than just an unnecessary, extra piece of Thomas that no one really wants anyway. You all wanted me to be good? Well look what you have done. Are you happy now? Now that Roman had finally broken, now that I have sacrificed everything for you? Am I finally good enough? You have all run me to the ground. Is this what you wanted of me? Am I finally right? Or am I wrong again? Like I was with the callback, like I was with Janus, like I am with everything I do? All I ever wanted was to be right, to be a hero, to try and be everything you wanted of me. Is this enough? Am I now enough for all of you? Have I sacrificed enough to be right, to be worthy of being myself, or do I need to go further? Because how far do I have to go to prove myself to all of you? All I ever wanted was to be wanted, to be loved…” And with that Roman collapsed onto the ground.

His body felt limp and broken, but he was conscious. He was so tired and he ached and ached and he felt so empty. He heard his name being cried out as he fell, he saw the sides crowd around him, felt them check if he was okay. He felt strong arms wrap around him, felt his body being picked up gently and being carried against someone’s solid chest. He wanted to fight, to leave, to die, to do anything than stay alive and face another day of this emptiness. But he was too tired to fight, too exhausted to jump out of the arms that felt so comforting to him. He didn’t deserve any of the kindness that they showed him. Because he had to admit, no matter how much they hurt him, they were kind to him. He closed his eyes and just let his body relax into the chest of the side carrying him. He didn’t cry. He was too hurt to cry. A heart can be broken, but it keeps on beating just the same.

[stubbornness-and-spite]

Never Doubt I Love

Inspired by THIS post from @pretty-as-princey

Fandom: Sanders Sides - part of my collection Remind Me Why I Fell In Love With Happy Endings(Happy Endings)

Characters: Patton-centric, Roman, Logan, Virgil, Janus

Relationships: Patton & Everyone

Warnings: bad self esteem, negative self talk, negative self worth

Notes: Takes place an indeterminate amount of time after POF when Remus and Janus aren’t fully accepted, but not ostracized either. They don’t live with the Light Sides but they pop in on a regular basis. Patton cares about them and considers them vital parts of Thomas, but not really family yet. *italicized sections are flashbacks* My Masterpost will be updated to include this and the ao3 link when it’s posted

Summary: Love languages were hard. Patton wanted to be able to express himself in all of them so that no one in his famILY could doubt he loved them. He was loud and energetic and open and kind and tired. Patton was so tired.

Word Count: 4781

~

Patton loved the others, he really did. He made mistakes and he knew that, but he loved them so much and he tried so hard to make sure they knew that. He thought they did, but lately he was less sure. 

~

“Patton, please,” Logan sighed, cutting off yet another of Patton’s overly enthusiastic contributions. “Thomas has neither the time nor the money to adopt an animal. We have been over this before.”

Patton stiffened, his eyes widening slightly, his smile static on his face. “You’re right, Logan,” he said with a reassuring smile. “Silly me. I’m just gonna-” he pointed down and sank out of Thomas’s living room before anyone had a chance to protest. Well, that wasn’t totally true. He sank down before he had to hear them not protest and could pretend that he just missed it because he left too quickly. 

Patton rose up in his room with a sigh. Logan was right, as usual. Patton was wrong, as usual. He was okay with that. He liked hearing Logan explain things and he didn’t mind when Logan’s explanations proved him wrong. Seeing Logan excited to share was more than enough. Patton just wished- no. Logan was right and he was wrong and that was that. It didn’t matter how much of his opinion or idea he got to say because in the end, Logan was right. All that Patton finishing his thought would do was waste time when everyone knew who was going to win in the end.

“Patton?” Patton turned to his door where he could see the shadow of someone’s shoes. “Is everything alright?”

“Just fine!” Patton called through the door, fervently wiping at his eyes which had started to dampen without him noticing. “I’ll be down and making dinner in a few minutes, don’t you worry!”

“That is… not remotely why I’m concerned, Patton,” Logan said through the door. “May I come in?”

Patton blinked his eyes quickly a few more times. “Sure, kiddo!”

Logan eased the door open hesitantly. “You left rather abruptly. Are you certain nothing is bothering you?”

“Abso-positiv-a-yepper-yes-a-lutely!”

Logan blinked. “Was that crime against the English language intended to be a yes?”

Patton sighed, smiling weakly. “Sure was, kiddo. I just need a minute before coming to make dinner, alright?”

Logan frowned. “Of course that’s not a problem, Patton, but—”

“Then I’ll see you in a minute, Logan,” said Patton almost sharply, cutting him off. Instantly Patton’s eyes went wide and he slammed his hands over his mouth. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Logan!” He cried, his voice muffled by his hands. “I shouldn’t have cut you off! I know you hate it when we don’t listen to you and we don’t listen enough! I don’t listen enough! I’m so sorry!” The words spilled out of Patton’s mouth like water from a faucet(or blood from an open wound) but he couldn’t stop them. 

Logan reached over and grabbed Patton’s hands, pulling them away from his mouth and holding them between the two. “Patton. It’s okay. Please don’t worry about it. I’ll see you in a few minutes?”

Patton nodded shakily and Logan took a step back. Patton forced himself to let go of Logan’s hands and let him step away. Patton was the one who asked him to leave in the first place. Now he had to live with that. Logan’s fingers trailed over his as their hands dropped back to their sides and Patton couldn’t stop the small choked noise that escaped him at the loss of contact. Logan either didn’t notice or thought preserving Patton’s dignity was important enough to pretend he didn’t. Patton’s hands twitched at his sides and he shoved them in his pockets to hide them. Logan didn’t want to hear Patton whine. Logan valued productivity and even Patton’s attempts to be productive weren’t good enough; Logan definitely didn’t want to hear him whine and complain about his feelings. Logan has better things to do. Logan cared about him, but he didn’t want to deal with emotions and that was okay. Patton didn’t want to be a burden. That was how he showed he cared. 

Patton blinked. He was alone. Logan was gone. Patton wondered when he’d left. He wondered if Logan had actually been there at all or if Patton had just imagined him in another pathetic fit of desperation. 

~

Logan knew Patton loved him and Logan loved Patton too. That was how Logan showed he cared. Patton asked him to leave and he did. It wasn’t Logan’s fault that he didn’t try to stay and comfort Patton because Patton didn’t need comfort. Patton had gone downstairs and made dinner that night and no one had ever thought about it again. Patton needed to stop dwelling. Of course his famILY knew he loved them, he told them all the time!

~

Patton had gone directly to Roman’s room after that awful video when Janus revealed his name. It was nice to not have to be afraid of Janus and Remus, but really it was Roman that Patton was concerned about. The others were vital parts of Thomas, but Roman was part of Patton’s tiny family. 

“Roman?” Patton called through the door. Roman’s door was almost never closed. He liked having the other sides free to come in and out of his room and his door to the Imagination, but now it was not only closed, it was locked. Patton hadn’t even known their doors could lock. Roman must have changed his specifically. “Roman, kiddo, please let me in! I’m sorry we hurt you! We love you so much! Please, Roman!”

It felt like an eternity passed before Roman opened the door. He wasn’t wearing his usual regal attire, but was dressed in a large and ill-fitting tee-shirt and baggy sweatpants. His hair was a mess as if he’d been grabbing at it and his eyes were red and wet.

“Come in, Patton,” he sighed, stepping aside so that Patton could walk into his room. It was a mess. His posters were torn down and his usual outfit in a pile on the floor. Roman’s desk doubled as a vanity and it was disturbingly bare. Everything that had been on it, finished products that he displayed with pride, his unfinished work, his hair products, his face products, his makeup, had been shoved into a trash can or onto the floor. The mirror on it was shattered. Patton whipped around to look at Roman when he noticed a spot of red on the cracks of the mirror.

“Show me your hands,” Patton demanded. Sure enough, Roman was hiding his hands behind his back. Patton took a steadying breath and sat down at the foot of Roman’s bed. “Sit with me?” he asked, a little softer. Roman did, still keeping his hands folded to Patton couldn't see his knuckles. “Show me your hands.” Patton reached out his own hands and waited. After a moment, Roman reached over and put his hands in Patton’s. Patton gasped softly at the forming bruises on his knuckles and the spider web of cuts on his fingers. 

“Hey, Roman?” Patton asked shakily. “Can you conjure me some bandages and antiseptic? You’re so much better at conjuring than me.” Roman didn’t even blink at the compliment, but a roll of clean bandages and an unlabeled bottle that Patton assumed was antiseptic appeared between them. 

Patton used one hand to twist open the bottle, not wanting to let go of Roman altogether. As he cleaned and wrapped Roman’s hands, he started to talk softly. “Please don’t hurt yourself, kiddo. I hate seeing you hurt. I just don’t know what we’d do without you, Ro.” Roman didn’t respond, just staring at Patton’s hands, not even flinching as Patton cleaned his cuts and pulled out bits of broken glass, so Patton just kept talking, murmuring any reassurances and promises he could think of. “You’re so amazing that sometimes we don’t even notice how wonderful you are until you remind us. You’re our constant. We love you.” Patton pressed a kiss to Roman’s hands every time he said they loved him. It meant that he took a lot longer to clean off Roman’s hands than he would have otherwise, but it was worth it. “I love you. I’m so proud of you. I’m proud of all you do, but I’m just proud of you. I’m glad and I’m proud that I get to know you. It really is going to be okay, kiddo. I know it’s hard and sometimes things are hard, but I promise you: it will be okay.”

Eventually, Roman’s hands were clean and wrapped. “Thank you, Pat,” he whispered, managing a weak smile. “I know.”

“Do you?”

Roman shrugged. “I think I will?” he offered. “I think I’m going to go to bed early.”

Patton swallowed heavily and nodded. “Okay, kiddo. Do you want me to stay?” Part of Patton, oh who was he kidding? All of Patton really wanted Roman to say yes. Patton always wanted to comfort his family, but it wasn’t just Roman who’d had a really hard day. Patton didn’t want to ask one of the others to take care of him, that wasn’t fair to them after everything he’d done and been doing, but if Roman would let him stay and hold him then maybe Patton could pretend that he was being held too. Even if everything was wrong and Patton was wrong, maybe Patton could convince himself that he was still wanted.

“I think I’m good, Pop,” Roman replied and Patton’s chest was so tight. “You don’t have to stay.”

“I really don’t mind staying-”

“I’m going to be okay, Patton. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Roman said in a way that was probably meant to be reassuring. Patton considered protesting again, but he didn’t want Roman to feel like he had to let Patton stay.

“Alright, slugger, if you’re sure,” Patton said, not looking at Roman. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Patton didn’t bother walking to the door, preferring to sink out. It was faster and easier and he didn’t have to admit that Roman really wanted him gone. He could pretend that he actually did hear Roman call, “Wait, Pat!” as he rose up in his own empty room.

Patton curled up on his bed, not bothering to change his clothes. He pulled a pillow close to his chest and squeezed his eyes shut, pretending it was Roman or Logan or Virgil, pretending that it was someone who actually wanted him to hug them. 

He thought about that time Thomas had asked them all to say they loved each other. He’d gushed about how much he loved them like he always did because it was true. He loved them so much it hurt and at the time he’d brushed off how unwilling the others were to say it back as their discomfort at saying it on camera, but maybe it wasn’t. He’d mostly talked over Logan, but if he remembered right, Logan had barely managed to say their existence was good and even then it sounded like a lie. He was more willing to lie back then. Roman only said it after Patton scolded him. Virgil had actually come the closest to actually saying it back by asking if it could be an understood thing, but when Patton pointed that out he’d denied it. Maybe Patton pushed too much. Maybe he should act more like Logan, more professional, and treat the others like coworkers or friends instead of family to make them feel more comfortable. Patton imagined living like that. He almost threw up. He loved them with every part of himself and to pretend he didn’t would be denying his heart. The heart couldn’t deny his heart. He barely managed to keep from showing his bad emotions all the time as it was. He had to burden them with something and he’d rather burden them with his love than with his sadness.

~

It was okay. Patton was okay. He knew how bad repression could be now, they’d shown him that. It was bad for Thomas to not feel and engage with his feelings and he would never want to hurt Thomas! He laid back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He’d put glow stars up there when they were kids. Logan and Roman put glow stars up in their rooms too. They’d done it together when they were...eight? 

When they were ten, Logan started learning about the stars and how they weren’t random at all. He’d gushed for weeks about how amazing the real pattern of the sky was. He still would if anyone asked. No one ever did. Logan took the stars down two weeks after their tenth birthday.

When they were twelve Roman decided he wanted to paint a mural. He planned it for months and it was beautiful. Patton couldn’t begrudge him that. Roman took the stars down a week before they turned thirteen.

Now they were in their thirties and Patton still couldn’t bring himself to take down the stars. They were his stars. They represented the bond between him and Logan and Roman. He loved Virgil and he was part of Patton’s famILY, but it was Logan and Roman that Patton had never learned how to live without. When Patton was sure of himself and their bond, they glowed so bright that he couldn’t sleep without covering his face. 

Patton looked up at the dull pieces of plastic on his ceiling and tried not to cry.

~

When Virgil told Patton that he didn’t like the way Patton talked about him it felt like a kick in the face. All Patton wanted to do was show how much he loved Virgil and the other sides, but all he managed to do was hurt them. No matter how hard he tried, he always seemed to get it wrong. They knew he was trying though and Patton was pretty sure that counted for something. 

A few weeks after Patton started fixing the way he showed Virgil he loved him they were all eating breakfast and Patton was starkly reminded of just how much he needed to fix. 

Virgil was usually the last one of them to make his way downstairs in the morning unless Logan or Roman had been up all night working on a project. Hearing the tell-tale signs of his angsty son, Patton spun around with a bright grin on his face to greet him.

“Morning, kidd-” he caught himself. “Virgil! Morning, Virgil!” Patton didn’t let the smile fall from his face, but Virgil’s flinch at his greeting made him want to. Where he had been relaxed before Patton said anything, Virgil was stiff and awkward. He stumbled over to the table with Logan and Roman.

“Morning, Patton,” he mumbled as he passed by. “Morning, L. Morning, Princey,” he said as he leaned on the back of a chair, perking up noticeably. Patton swallowed heavily and went about his morning.

He made small talk with the other three as he finished up breakfast and they all prepared their plates. He smiled and laughed along with Roman’s stories and nodded along to Logan’s explanations and interjections. He didn’t say much of substance. Virgil didn’t say much at all. Eventually he sat down with the others and pretended he didn’t feel like he was walking through a minefield. He wanted to show his love in ways they appreciated, of course he did. They were just so vague about what they wanted and it was so hard.

...

“That sounds fun, Logan!”

Logan scoffed. “Really, Patton? I am not suggesting it for amusement. It is the most productive and therefore logical course of action.”

“Right.”

…

“Oh wow! That’s great, Roman!”

Roman rolled his eyes. “I appreciate the compliment, Pat, but it’s nowhere near finished. The completed project will be nothing like what I’ve described.”

“Right, yeah.”

…

“That’s so sweet of you, Virgil!”

“I’m not sweet.”

“No, of course not.”

…

“Did you have good dreams last night, kiddo?”

“Yeah, I slept fine, Pat.”

“Okay.”

…

“Thanks, little shadow!”

“Seriously, Pops?”

“Just joking, Virge.”

…

“And Logan’s just smart.”

“And what about me?”

“Well, you’re - you’re… Patton!”

“Oh, I- Aww, thanks, Roman!”

… 

“I’ll clean up, kiddos. Don’t worry about it!”

…

Then Patton was alone. He didn’t mind being alone so much. When he was alone he could play out elaborate scenarios in his head and not worry about how the others would react. He could pretend they were all waiting for him and that they would tell him nice things and hug him. He could pretend a lot of things when he was alone.

Patton did the dishes.

~

It was fine. He was fine. Everything was fine. He was a good person. Patton didn’t say nice things so that he would hear nice things back. He said nice things because he believed them and he loved the people he said them about. He was a good person.

Who was he kidding? Patton was a terrible person. He only pretended to be nice so that he could be complimented and when it didn’t work he was resentful. He was an awful, terrible, bad person who didn’t deserve all the nice things he had. He was a bad person. He was!

“Well, this certainly isn’t concerning.”

Patton sat up like a shot at the sound of someone in his room. Janus was standing in his doorway that hadn’t been open a minute ago. He looked like he was trying really hard not to fidget.

“Can I come in?” Janus asked tentatively. Patton nodded and Janus stepped into his room, closing the door behind him. He walked over hesitantly, but sat down on the bed by Patton when Patton gestured for him to.

“Is there something I can help you with, Janus?” Patton asked, trying to pretend that Janus hadn’t walked in on him crying.

“You can tell me why you’re lying to yourself.”

Patton stiffened. “Right. I was doing that. It’s okay, I stopped now.”

Janus raised his eyebrows. “You stopped telling yourself that you’re a bad person who only pretends to be nice?” he asked. “Because from what I could tell, you still were while I was standing at your door.”

Patton scowled. “That’s not the lie and you know it.”

Janus sighed heavily. “No, Patton. I don’t know that. Even when I couldn’t stand you, I didn’t think that you were faking being nice. I think being a good person is subjective, but there is absolutely no argument that you are not nice. There is no argument that you are not selfless and loving. I can absolutely argue with you over if those are good things, but they are true.”

“I don’t think I believe you,” Patton whispered.

Janus winced. “You really think I’d lie about something like this?”

“Maybe.” Patton shrugged. “I believe you believe it,” he offered.

“Look, Patton, we’ve never been close. Talk to the others. Let them tell you if you won’t hear it from me. You tell them you love them all the time. It’s high time they made you know too.”

“No!” Patton yelped before he could stop himself. “I mean, you know I can’t do that. I can’t turn my love into an obligation for them. I’m burdening them enough by loving them the way I do and not asking for anything back. I can’t put that on them.”

“What are you talking about? They already love you.”

Patton sighed. “Janus, I’m Morality. What’s the Golden Rule of morality that we all learned as kids?”

“Treat others the way you want to be treated,” Janus responded without thinking. “Oh.”

Patton breathed out a soft laugh. “Yeah.” He tipped his head back to look at the ceiling again. “Either I go against the simplest part of Morality and keep letting myself get hurt or I go against the part of Morality that I can’t let go of and hurt them for my sake.”

“I don’t think you’d be hurting them. I think they don’t realise. I think they’d be a lot more hurt if they knew you thought so little of them that you’d let yourself be hurt so as not to inconvenience them.”

“That’s a nice thought.”

“Dammit, Patton,” Janus growled. “Tell them or I will.”

Patton just kept looking at his stars.

“I can make you tell them,” Janus admitted, slightly choked up. “I can make you tell the truth as easily as I can make you hide it.”

“I don’t think I could forgive you for that.”

“Then don’t make me do it.”

~

Janus had left after that. Disappearing just like Virgil used to. Patton stared at his ceiling for a while longer. Janus thought he was a good person. Well, Janus thought that Patton was Patton’s definition of a good person. Maybe talking to his famILY would be good. Maybe it wouldn’t. 

Patton paused as an idea came to him. He wouldn’t tell them. He wouldn’t seek them out. But… maybe next time they asked, he wouldn’t lie.

~

A week went by and nothing changed. Patton kept smiling and sometimes it wasn’t even forced. Roman told his stories and Logan pretended he didn’t love them. Virgil complained about everything, but in a way that sounded more like he was complimenting them. Logan shared his ideas and Patton made sure everyone listened. Sure maybe some of it was Patton’s guilt for skipping Logan in that one video, but most of it was just that Patton believed all his kiddos deserved to be heard. Janus popped in from time to time and gave Patton pointed looks. Remus barreled in every so often and dragged them all off on an adventure that they ended up enjoying more than they thought they would. A week went by and nothing changed.

They were at dinner. It seemed that dinner was the only time the four of them all talked anymore. It was always some grouping of them the rest of the time. Dinner was going...badly. From Patton’s perspective at least.

Roman had been flippant and dismissive of Patton’s attempts to compliment him. Virgil had been getting increasingly frustrated with every word out of Patton’s mouth. The more the two of them carelessly shut him down, the more outlandish his comments started to become just so they’d look at him for a few moments. Logan didn’t like outlandish comments. Logan started snapping at him when Patton would speak up. Patton stopped talking.

The other three continued their conversation for about an hour. Patton didn’t say a word. He didn’t eat either. No one noticed either.

“Pat, what do you think?” Virgil asked, turning to Patton. “Pat?”

Patton stiffened. He shook his head frantically, not trusting himself with an open mouth.

“Patton?” Logan asked, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “What’s wrong?” 

“I love you all so much,” Patton choked out. “I love you all so much it hurts and I keep hurting you with it and I’m so sorry! I know that’s not good enough, but I can’t stop!”

“Patton, no,” Logan breathed. “Patton, you are not hurting us.”

“I am,” Patton insisted. “I try to listen to you but I never understand and I just end up being a distraction. I can never tell Roman how much I love him in a way that sounds true. I keep telling Virgil I care the wrong way. You know all this, Logan. You know it’s true.”

“It doesn’t matter, Pat,” Virgil snapped. “I care more that you’re trying than if you’re succeeding.”

“That’s not even the worst part,” Patton whispered. “Nevermind,” he said quickly, cutting himself off.

“Pat, please,” Roman choked on his words. “Please talk to us.”

“I want to be told you love me too,” Patton said so softly they barely heard it. “You don’t have to,” he promised. “But sometimes I like to be- never mind.”

“Complimented?” Virgil guessed. “Like you always do for us?” Patton nodded.

“Hugged?” Roman added hesitantly. Patton didn’t look at him, but he nodded.

“Listened to,” Logan finished. Patton stared at the table, but he managed to nod.

“I’m so-”

Virgil cut him off with a hesitant grin. “If you apologize again, I’m going to physically fight you. If you keep talking bad about yourself, I’m going to physically fight you.”

Patton laughed. “Please don’t fight me.” He frowned, his eyes drifting back down to the table. “I know you don’t like it when I call you sweet and I’m trying not to anymore, but I…”

“But it’s hard?” Virgil guessed. “I know. I really appreciate what you’ve done and I-”

“Not what I was going to say, Virgil,” Patton said softly. “Respecting your boundaries is never going to be too much of an effort. I was just going to say where my boundaries are.” Patton took a deep breath and held it. “I like it? I like it when you all call me sweet.” he huffed a laugh. “That’s kind of what I’m trying for.”

Patton looked over at Roman with a smile. “You said I was the ‘sweetest puffball we got’ and I don’t know how you meant it, but I really liked that.”

Patton turned his now-blinding smile on Logan. “You called me adorable and to be honest, Lo? It was adorable.”

“You remember what we said?” Logan asked abruptly.

Patton’s smile widened. “Of course I do! I wrote them all down so I couldn’t forget. Those two are at the top of my Logan and Roman lists. Pop-star’s at the top of my Virgil list.”

“I am going to come up with so many names that you’re going to need to start a whole notebook just to keep up with my list.” Roman’s gaze was steely and he looked almost threatening. “I am going to hug you so much that you’ll be sick of me.”

Patton was going to burst. “I’ll never be sick of you!” he cooed.

“I will make a more visible and concentrated effort to listen to your contributions,” Logan promised. “I can’t promise that we will always agree, but I can promise that I will listen and hear you.”

Patton’s eyes were soft as he looked at Logan. “I’m okay with being wrong, Logan. I just want you to hear me.”

“I do hear you Patton. I’m sorry I don’t do it often enough.”

“Oh, Logan, no!” Patton looked at Logan in horror. “It’s okay. You don’t need to be sorry.”

Logan sighed fondly. “If you want to forgive me then that is up to you, but it’s not okay and I do have reason to apologize.”

“As do I,” Roman added. “I have been taking your affection for granted. I will not continue.”

“So do I,” Virgil mumbled. “I’m not sorry for setting boundaries because you’ve taught me that that’s okay, but I am sorry for brushing you off and not showing you that I care about you and appreciate you.”

“Thank you,” Patton said wetly.

Logan took a breath. “This is difficult for me and I apologize if it sounds insincere. I love you, Patton. You don’t always make my job easier, which can be frustrating, but you make it enjoyable.”

“Thank you, Lo.” Patton’s damp eyes started to drip. “Happy tears,” he clarified at the others’ looks of concern. “You don’t have to-”

Logan cut off any protest that Patton could make. “You’re worth it.”

“You make us a family, Pat,” Roman declared. “You are what makes us more than the sum of our parts.”

Patton was full on sobbing now.

Virgil stood up from his seat. He let his arms fall open at his sides. “Come here.” 

Patton dove into Virgil’s arms, his wet face soaking through his hoodie in a matter of minutes. Roman instantly sprang from his seat to wrap himself around Patton’s back and pull the other two into his arms. Roman was warm and his grip was steady and Patton felt like he could take on the world if he did it while he was in Roman’s arms.

Logan stood awkwardly and made his way over to them, standing about a foot away from Patton’s side.

“Logan, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Patton called, his voice muffled by Virgil’s hoodie.

“I know I just agreed to start listening to you more, but I believe I can be forgiven in this one circumstance.” Logan stepped forward wrapping his arms around Patton and resting his chin in Patton’s hair. “Shut your ever-flapping gobtalker.”

Virgil snorted which caused Roman to laugh. Logan simply smiled and held them tighter as Patton’s giggles rang out above them all.

taglists from @the-taglist-repository

Patton-centric

@thatgaydemigodnerd

LAMP

@somehow-i-got-an-account  @silverobsidion-speaks @robinwritesshitposts  @a-fandom-trashdump  @averykedavra

platonic LAMP

@just-a-random-enby  @demoniccheese83

Sanders Sides

@katelynn-a-fan @ananonsplace @ollyollyoxinfree @brain-deadx0 @grouptalekindnesssoul​ @the-hoely-bleach​ @anvil527up @fanficloverinthesun

Hurt/Comfort

@callboxkat @nonasficcollection

Patton Angst

@prinxietyforever

Let me know if I’ve tagged you and you don’t want to be tagged for my fics or if you think that the category/taglist you are on does not apply to this story

Let me know if you want to be tagged for anything

[eevee-eclair]

Bloody Ego

Written by EeveeEclair246

TW: blood, coughing blood, negative thinking, implied suicidal thinking, falling unconscious, headaches, one curse word, (tell me if I missed one)

Random side note: This prompt was submitted by @romansandersprotectionsquad! I hope it came out okay! (I also wrote it on my chrome so if there are some errors I missed, forgive me) This takes place after POF! (this is also platonic rociet, not romantic)

<~~~~~>

Roman sunk down to his room, already feeling the tears building behind his eyes. It wasn’t fair! Deceit was supposed to be the villain and he was supposed to be the hero! Not the other way around! Roman let the tears fall. No one was there to see them anyway.

“It’s because they don’t care.” A part of him whispered, and he believed it. If De- no Janus- was the hero now, someone needed to be the villain. He would gladly fill that roll (even if it hurt to think about).

“You’re overreacting.” The voice hissed. He probably was.

“Nobody loves a villain.” It sneered. That’s alright. He didn’t deserve love anyway.

Suddenly, he was overcome with a horrible coughing fit. He covered his mouth with his hands and waited for it to pass. When it did he was shocked to see blood. He was barely given time to react before another coughing fit took hold, bringing more blood up.

“Maybe you’ll--” Okay, this voice really needed to shut up.

He coughed and cried for what felt like hours (but was more like 30 minutes) before a knock on his door dragged him from his thoughts.

“Go ‘way,” he rasped. He really wasn’t in the mood for another lecuter.

“Roman, please,” a voice begged. No, not just a voice. His voice.

“I said go away,” Roman snapped, recognizing he was talking to Janus.

Then the coughing came back. This one was different from the others. It lasted longer and there was so much blood. So much in fact, he was completely oblivious to Janus freaking out beside him. He swore he locked his door, so how did the snake get in?

“Roman, are you okay?” Janus asked, even though he knew the answer was no.

“Go away snake, I’m fine,” he said. “I don’t need your pity.”

Janus rolled his eyes. “Yes, because coughing up blood definitely means you're okay,” he said with obvious sarcasm. “But, really. What happened?” he asked, more serious.

“None of your business, Deceit,” he spat, attempting to stand up. “And I told you I’m fine!” he said, summoning his sword. But summoning things cost energy, and after crying for half an hour and coughing blood, that is something he really didn't have to spare so he managed to summon the hilt before falling unconscious.

>~~~<

“Shit,” Janus mumbled, running to catch the prince as he fell. As Roman slumped into his arms, he took in the creative side’s appearance. His normally crisp white princy outfit was bloody and wrinkled, his hair was messy, and his face was ashen. “Oh, Roman,” he whispered, walking him over to his bed to lay him down.

Roman was out for about three hours before he finally woke up, and when he did, he was not happy to see Janus still in his room. He jumped out of the bed and backed away from the snake in his room.

“What are you still doing here?” Roman snapped, feeling his knees about to give out.

“Roman, please, just listen to me,” Janus begged. Romna was in desperate need of some self care and it was killing Janus to see him like this. “You need to lay down and rest. You were just coughing up blood for crying out loud!”

“I don’t need your help, snake,” Roman said, but he was clearly losing this battle. “Get out of my room.”

“Roman, don’t make me go get Patton,” Janus threatened. “You and I both know it would kill him to see you like this. Let me help you,” he told him.

“Why would Patton care?” Roman asked, but Janus could hear obvious hatred. “I’m the villain now!” he cried.

“What?!” Janus exclaimed. “Roman, nobody here is a villain!” he said.

“That’s rich! Every hero needs a villain, and who better than the fallen hero?” Roman laughed.

“Roman, you’re still the hero! Thomas needs you! The others need you! I… I need you,” Janus whispered the last part. It wasn’t that he was lying, he just found it slightly embarrassing.

When Roman just kept glaring at him, Janus decided to continue his cheesy speech. “Roman, I’m Thomas’ self preservation. That also means I look after all of you to make sure you guys are taking care of yourself.” Janus paused, waiting for Roman to say something. When he didn’t he kept going. “Roman, it’s my job to make sure you’re okay.” he swallowed. “Roman, as Thomas’ ego, you keep him confident! You also give him the courage to try out for a play! WIthout you, Thomas wouldn’t be able to do things he loves, and that’s a form of self care,” he said. He sighed. “Nobody hates you, Roman. You’re still our hero.”

Roman looked close to tears. “How do I know you’re not lying?” he asked weakly.

Jauns smiled and removed his glove. “I promise I’m not lying to you,” he said. “Now come lay back down, and rest, please.”

Roman nodded and walked back to the bed and layed down. Before he fell asleep, he looked up at Janus. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“You’re welcome, Roman,” Janus said, walking out of the room.

When Roman wakes up, the blood on the floor would be gone, cleaned up by Janus. When he wakes up, he would go to Logan and ask why he might have been coughing up blood. Logan would respond with some scientific reason or something like that (in reality, Thomas just connects the term ‘bloody ego’ and Roman to be one in the same, causing Roman to cough up blood when his ego is damaged). When he wakes up, he’ll talk things out with Patton and Thomas. When he wakes up, he’ll have lunch.

But right now, he’s going to sleep.

<~~~~~>

Random side note (pt. 2): Wow, that could’ve turned out better! I’m sorry it sucks, but I kinda rushed it to get it out today! I’ll try to do better next time.

[grouptalekindnesssoulstories]

Ok. So. I uh, was watching more sanders sides tik toks (look, it’s a problem, I know. however you get content from it so bleh). Anyways! I had the sudden urge to write hurt/comfort for Roman. I just want happiness for him okay???

Setting: Post-POF/SVS-R 

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of manipulation (Does what Janus do count? IDK but just in case), Remus’s brand of thoughts, Let me know if I missed something!

Virgil was napping against Remus when Roman returned from filming. 

“Ah, just who I was looking for! Whatcha say brother-dear, up for some testing? I also took the liberty of rearrangi-” Remus straightened at his twin’s appearance, waving around a Nintendo switch before taking in the ruffled appearance of the prince. 

“....Not now Re. I’m,,,too tired” Roman dragged himself across the room, snapping off his filming attire for old sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt. 

“Who fucking hurt you” Remus growled, his appearance rippling in his rage. Even the thoughts that plagued him, and Thomas by extension, were suddenly gone. There was a harsh laugh, muffled as Roman collapsed onto the couch. Neither twin noticed when Virgil stirred, the tentacle wrapped around his shoulders alerting him. 

“Who hasn’t? You clobbered me over the head in your introduction, Dec-Janus used me to get what he wanted, I was the bad guy-” Roman’s voice broke at that “-because I didn’t trust him. Patton is apparently just as lost, and I’m no longer Thomas’s hero” Roman fell into full on sobs at that. 

“Do I need to torture him? Oooo I’ve been wanting to try out a new method where I-” Remus lit up dangerously, ready to describe exactly what he’d do. 

“I will fucking kill that snake” Virgil’s voice boomed out, his anger boiling over. Both twins jumped, and Roman burst out crying anew. Virgil was at his side before he could blink, shifting him onto his brother’s shoulder. After Remus wrapped a few tentacles around him, Virgil snuggled into his other side. 

“So Anus told Tomathy his name” Remus mumbled after a few minutes of silence. 

“Yes-” Roman hiccuped “And I made fun of it, and he made a comment about..how if I had a mustache he wouldn’t be able to tell who the evil twin was” 

“Yes! He finally got off his moral high ground of shit, and admitted it!” Remus crowed, prompting relieved laughter from both of the other sides. 

“Re, you can share my room if you’re lonely” Roman shifted to meet the mismatched eyes that matched his own. The contacts had disappeared along with his outfit. Remus nodded, a tearful smile building on his face.

“Can I still crash on your floor if I can’t sleep” Virgil groaned, stretching his limbs. 

“Whatever emo. Just don’t blame me if Remus pours something down your throat. Or if you wake up with stuff on your face” 

“Ah, the things we deal with for a good nights sleep” Virgil moaned, tossing a deodorant stick to Remus as a peace offering. 

“Thank you. Both of you. For being here and...” Roman smiled honestly for the first time since the wedding. 

“No prob! Hey, do you think I can get into Double-D’-” Remus started bouncing with possibilities. 

“NO REMUS” Virgil and Roman yelled. 

[ludacryst]

Survey Says..

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I'm 5'3, but I sometimes wish I was shorter because of how cute it can be in a relationship. I've watched too much anime, okay?

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) Well, @warpedbelief didn't help me figuring this out because his dragon idea was really cool. However... I'll just stick with cats. I love cats. (I also love dragons..)

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? Comfortable. Lol. I mostly wear PJs.

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Final Fantasy series in general. 7 & 9 Specifically. My heart was always with Zelda ALTTP though.

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: Erwin, Wiggles, PoF (Power of Friendship, so my friends/family.)

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Caution : Speaks her mind far too often. No filter. Bossy af. Does not cave easily.

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? I don't know.

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] Melancholic.

9: Are you ticklish? .....No...?....(Yes)

10: Are you allergic to anything? Lots of stuff. There's a list uploaded somewhere.

11: What’s your sexuality? Heteronormative Bisexual. I used to call it straight with a twist until I figured out there was an actual term for it. Basically, I'm emotionally attracted to men and commonly see myself in a relationship with men. (My Husband, HI.) However, I have similar attractions physically to women, but have never seen myself in a relationship with one other than physically.

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? Cocoa or Tea, but I'll drink any of em.

13: Are you a cat or dog person? Cat. 1000% They're chill just like me... once they're older.

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Elf, probably. I love nature, I hate being allergic to it though.

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? Nah, I just skim youtube from time to time, no favorite.

16: How tall are you? 5'3.

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? I'd probably keep it in the realm it's already in. So, I'm Crystal. I go by Crys (Chris) so probably Christina.. or anything that could shorten it to Chris of sorts. It's just me.

18: How much do you weigh? 175-190, depends on if I've ate fast food recently or not. More averaged at 186, but it's jumped a lot the past few months. Goal weight is 125.

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? Sure. I don't disbelieve. Had a thing when i was a kid a few times that make me think something exists.. whether or not we know what it is.

20: Do you like space or the ocean more? Space. Stars. I love water don't get me wrong, but I'm more curious about what we can't physically reach.

21: Are you religious? Nah.

22: Pet peeves? Liars, people who try to grind my gears, people saying "I'm going to do it just to spite you." I'm tired of toxicity of people.

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? Diurnal. I'm defaulted to Nocturnal, so just eat some edibles and we're in bed by 10pm! :)

24: Favorite constellation? Leo ;)

25: Favorite star? Sirius, it shines the brightest.

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? I don't like dolls. They're creepy.

27: Any phobias or fears? Irrational : Dolls, Being around people. Rational : Heights, Closed Spaces t-t

28: Do you think global warming is real? Fucking. Is this seriously a question? Of course it's real.

29: Do you believe in reincarnation? I actually like to. It gives me hope there's something after death.

30: Favorite movie? I'm not sure I have a favorite movie...

31: Do you get scared easily? Nah, but I love a good jump scare.

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? Christina - My first doggie, passed away when I was in 4th grade. She was a mini collie~ Alexi - My green/yellow parakeet. Passed away at roughly 2-3 years old. Jiggy - My gray/white beautiful DHS big boi kitty. (2006-2016) Momma - My loving calico who picked me over everyone. ;o;  (2006-2018) Wiggles - Adopted from my family, he's a tyrant! He loves his dad more than me tho... [rude] (2016-???)

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] You CC please.

34: What is a color that calms you? Blue. Blue is always relaxing, especially softer/darker blues.

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Travel wise, I want to visit a lot of places. Germany, UK, Canada... more specifically Niagara Falls.. Live wise, if I could, I'd live in Canada. However... I just want to live in the midwest, or east, somewhere more affordable in the US.

36: Where were you born? Ohio!

37: What is your eye color? Blue-gray.

38: Introvert or extrovert? 1000% introverted.

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? I think they're amusing as fuck. I don't believe/follow them 100%. I do like to imagine what it would be like if they were right though. I follow zodiac stuff way more than horoscope.

40: Hugs or kisses? xoxoxo - Preferably hugs, they're for everyone! *HUGS*

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? Scotty! ( @warpedbelief )

42: Who is someone you love deeply? @hyphenhero - My husbando.

43: Any piercings you want? I really dunno any more. The only one I've been considering lately is Daith.

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? I don't dislike tattoos and piercings.

45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so? Cigarettes are disgusting. Be more descriptive of your "smoking." I have marijuana vapes I enjoy.

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! Well, I married him.

47: What is a sound you really hate? Anything pitchy. My ears have been killing me the past year or so.

48: A sound you really love? Meow.

49: Can you do a backflip? HAHAHA No.

50: Can you do the splits? Almost did them on accident the other day. It really hurt. (No)

51: Favorite actor and/or actress? Do voice actors count? Because then I'm between two. Johnny Yong Bosch and Matt Mercer.

52: Favorite movie? Wasn't this asked already? I don't have one.

53: How are you feeling right now? Tired.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? I really want to bleach it blonde again.

55: When did you feel happiest? Maybe when we first moved into our second apartment? The rent was cheaper, it was nice. I miss freedom. Though, I also miss having a full guild of friends and getting along and having fun together.. Man I'm getting old.

56: Something that calms you down? Marijuana primarily. Hugs. Kittens.

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] Anxiety, Depression, Memory issues xD Honestly you should just ask if there's stuff NOT wrong with me.

58: What does your URL mean? It's a nickname a friend gave me 11 years ago. Holy crap. It's been 11 years.

59: What three words describe you the most? Sassy, Bratty, Mom-ish.

60: Do you believe in evolution? Yes.

61: What makes you unfollow a blog? Too much spam/boring content. Stuff I'm not interested in. Sometimes inactivity for years.

62: What makes you follow a blog? Stuff I'm interested in typically.

63: Favorite kind of person: People I can just talk to about anything. I like to talk. I don't like to be pestered and felt bad about not responding right away. I enjoy helping people. So I'm mostly a listener. I like to talk about stuff we're mutually interested in. Sometimes I love people I can debate with but not hate after (reasonable debates.) I guess I'm going to be that guy and copy what my friend said.. "Engaging, but not too much that I’m constantly tired. I like doing nothing, but doing nothing with the right person."

64: Favorite animal(s): Cats. All the cats.

65: Name three of your favorite blogs. I don't really actively follow any specific blog in particular! :x

66: Favorite emoticon: :smirk: (use it on discord... though if you played maplestory, it's an F3 equivalent... )

67: Favorite meme: You said that tho?

68: What is your MBTI personality type? INFJ-T

69: What is your star sign? Leo

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? No dog, but you'd be damn right to guess I'd train them.

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? Any of the fluffy pjs with a thin tank top.

72: Post a selfie or two? https://ludacryst.tumblr.com/tagged/me https://ludacryst.tumblr.com/tagged/wedding

73: Do you have platform shoes? Nah. I don't have heels either.

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? My memory is absolutely shit in most situations.  However, in certain and RANDOM AF situations it can be clear as day. If I want to learn/remember something? Forget about it. If I could not care less about something? You'll be damn straight I'll remember it.

75: Can you do a front flip? Lol, no.

76: Do you like birds? Yeah, cept the annoying high pitched ones T_T

77: Do you like to swim? I used to love to. I can't really be in the sun for long any more though.

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? Never been Ice Skating! Always wanted to try. I'd probably equally enjoy both.

79: Something you wish didn’t exist: Mosquitoes, Cancer, Violence. On the violence part... It's mostly guns. If we had swordsman style fights - It'd be more interesting.

80: Some thing you wish did exist: Cures to incurables. Cancer, Epilepsy, Autism, etc. (I'm an epilepsy survivor.)

81: Piercings you have? Had an eyebrow piercing, lost it the same month I got it to pink eye.

82: Something you really enjoy doing: Watching television. I miss reading. I have a hard time focusing on reading now.

83: Favorite person to talk to: I have 3! Erwin (@hyphenhero) - My husband~ and my friends Scott (@warpedbelief)  and Brandon.

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? What the fuck is this and why do people use it? inb4 I replaced wordpress with it.

85: How many followers do you have? I don't really check. My Tumblr is mostly for me... and I just restarted fresh these past few months.

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? Maybe if I tried. Used to be able to run one in 6.

87: Do your socks always match? Yeah.

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? HA, Never could.

89: What are your birthstones? Peridot, Sardonyx, Spinel

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? Cat? Yes. Spoil me.

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? Tulips.

92: A store you hate? Umm.... I don't know if I avoid any stores in particular....

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 1-2. My stomach gets pretty upset.

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? Fly. Definitely. I get lost in my own mind enough.

95: Do you like to wear camo? Situationally.

96: Winter or summer? Winter 100%. Hate the heat. Love the snow.

97: How long can you hold your breath for? I don't know. Like 30 seconds maybe?

98: Least favorite person? They who will not be named. It gives them too much attention.

99: Someone you look up to: I used to look up to my mom a lot. Now I'm more-so my own person, I just do what I can to do right by me and my hubby.

100: A store you love? Uhm.. Any cheap store... I don't really have a favorite. I guess amazon for saving me gas?

101: Favorite type of shoes Skechers.

102: Where do you live? California.

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? Nah. I love ham too much.

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? Cubic Zirconia actually. It's so undervalued but so pretty.

105: Do you drink milk? Used to. Not really much any more.

106: Do you like bugs? Sometimes. But not in the house.

107: Do you like spiders? Sure, they get rid of the bad bugs.

108: Something you get paranoid about? Being followed. Bugs crawling on me.

109: Can you draw: Used to be able to. Not any more.

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? I don't know, I usually tell people anything they ask lol.

111: A question you hate being asked? Any question I had previously already answered, and they just weren't paying attention. Anything related to me/my own working/schooling.

112: Ever been bitten by a spider? Not that I can remember.

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? Yeah, it's really relaxing.

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? Cloudy, 100%

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: I would like to cuddle Momma right now.. Why you gotta go and make a girl sad for survey thing? (My calico that passed away last year..)

116: Favorite cloud type: Cumulus, Cumulonimbus, and Nimbostratus. Yes I googled them for their names.

117: What color do you wish the sky was? I honestly love the colors the sky is/can be, especially at sunrise and sunset.

118: Do you have freckles? Yes, but you can only see them when I have a tan. So to anyone who hasn't seen me since I was 10, you'd never know I had them.

119: Favorite thing about a person: How they treat people. If they're kind to animals. Eyes. Definitely eyes.

120: Fruits or vegetables? Fruits @_@

121: Something you want to do right now: Play Zelda - BoTW on Hard - but... I'm lazy.

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? Ocean. But they look best together.

123: Sweet or sour foods? Candies or actual food? Food, sweet. Candies, sour.

124: Bright or dim lights? Dim as you can go without causing me to have seizures over tiny little things.

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? I wish. Dragons would rock my world.

126: Something you hate about Tumblr: Yahoo owning it.

127: Something you love about Tumblr: The freedom it USED to have.

128: What do you think about the least? I dunno, I think about it the least... so it won't naturally come to me.

129: What would you want written on your tombstone? Carpe Diem ....heheheh.

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? Why would I name them? Again with the attention thing.

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? My Epilepsy. It's shown me who really gives a fuck about me, but also it's taken a lot from me.

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? No, I hate my teeth.

133: Computer or TV? Computer, it offers more.

134: Do you like roller coasters? Never been on one, definitely want to try.

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? Sometimes motion sickness, never got seasick tho.

136: Are your ears lobed or attached? Attatched.

137: Do you believe in karma? I like to believe in Karma, but I really feel like people don't get their just desserts :(

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? -5

139: What nicknames do you have/have had? Crys, Crysti, Cryssi, Crysii, Ludacryst, Toxie, Punky, there's probably more but effort.

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? I am unsure.

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? Yes. More than one therapist.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Yes.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Giving.

144: What makes you angry? Lots of little things. Dumb things. Mostly the way medical/doctors are here... Our president... a lot of things really.

145: How many languages do you speak fluently? I can barely manage English, you want me to learn more?!

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? I kinda answered this earlier.

147: Are you androgynous? No.

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: My eye color.

149: Favorite thing about your personality: I'm more willing to let people go if they make my life worse. I used to be terrible at that.

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. My Mom, Scooter, Matt Mercer.. (shh)

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? ANY ERA WITH KNIGHTS AND KINGDOMS AND WEEEEEEE............ (I like a lot of oldie based shows.)

152: Do you like BuzzFeed? Eh.

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] MapleStory. Not even remotely kidding.

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? Yes. I'm a very touchy person if I trust the person. I prefer hugs on most though. Forehead is pretty sentimental to me.

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? Sometimes, yeah.

156: What embarrasses you? My teeth, my weight, a lot of things.

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: People. Crowds. Planes. Heights. New Doctors.

158: Biggest lie you have ever told: If it's the biggest lie I've ever told, do you think I'm going to out myself on social media?

159: How many people are you following? Fuck if I know... I'm too lazy to check.

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? See #159

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? See #159

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? See #159

163: Last time you cried and why: It's been over a lot of things. My health, my families health, my cat, hurting myself, etc.

164: Do you have long or short hair? Medium?

165: Longest your hair has ever been: Just below my shoulders.

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion? Neutral mostly, because you can't prove or disprove a god exists. Just because you haven't seen something does that mean it's not there? Also, just because you believe in something, does it mean that it exists really? I'm agnostic. Though Wicca seems like a more reasonable religion in most aspects (I've dabbled in research, I hope that doesn't offend anyone.)

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? Not really. I just care if it's gonna blow up before I die.

168: Do you like to wear makeup? Like? Not usually, it just helps me feel a little better sometimes.

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? Nope.

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? As much as I could.

[ohpollenpowder]

1] I am...one of the oldbies. I didn't get to play early, didn't join at launch. I joined in October 2012 just in time for the first Halloween event. So story wise, it was just Personal Story at that point.

2] The first race+profession was my old main, whom I still have and sometimes still play. It's Laviii, my Human Elementalist currently decked in Catalyst. I still need to finish dragging her through story, ngl. I left her in Drizzlewood, just starting that part of story.

3] I currently have 69 characters made, but I have 71 unlocked character slots. Everytime there was a pre-launch for an Expac that included a character slot, I purchased it. And so... /gestures

4] My favorite playable race is actually Asura. Despite my list being mostly plants. I love the story that Asura get, but I also love the customizability for Sylvari. I get to explore color theory there.

5] So this is going to be slightly off, because I've been playing all afternoon and finally closed the game when I'm answering these. Not going to reopen the game for this. So last count was when I was taking Siriol's birthday picture: 6,558 hours and 36 minutes. And then probably add on another...oh, ten hours between that picture and this evening.

6] No real life ones, really? Though I have met guild mates at Otakon one year (oh, so long ago) and am currently encouraging a coworker to join in on the fun!

7] Any legendary, tbh. You could say map complete but honestly I look at it as a way to just disconnect from things and mindlessly do. So I'm kinda enjoying the Adventure stuff they've given us. (Found that secret room above/below in Snowden.) But not digging that it's per character given...yeah, I've got 69 to go through.

8] I have all my books in Laviii's bags now, thanks to an Instagram post someone made with the idea. I've also got several characters running around with Jars of Bees or Harpy Pheromones. A dwarven thumb here or there... Colwyn has gifts from his old partner still in his bags. Some of them have flowers and I think there's a coffee pot and a sign in my bank that belong to Laviii.

9] lmao Given my brain? Hell no, not a specific time. Has it though? Absolutely. Probably every story they've given us has an instance of this.

10] I don't....know???? I try to be hella open in game. There really isn't a reason to be otherwise.

11] The current wardrobe system. Dyes were once character specific. I don't really think transmutation was around at the start? Maybe it was. But you needed three of those stones in order to change one piece of clothing. I think those were also character specific but I could be wrong.

12] OLD LION'S ARCH. *ahem* I really did like when we had the option to mix certain outfit pieces together and they had their own dye palettes. Mostly because there's shirts that they've paired with the shorts that I wouldn't and then there's the old flying pants and...yeah.

13] I can't say that I do, honestly.There are certainly ones that I like more than others but can I call them to mind? Nope. Again, my brain is a colander.

14] How are we defining Companion in this? Because if it's loosely, Laranthir. But if it's more "several chapters spent together" sort of Companion...we're gonna go with pre-EoD Canach and then it shifts to Rama.

15] They've all been really good at being hated... But I'd have to say a mixture between Kralkatorrik and Mordremoth.

16] The little animals that end up being ambient creatures. They're just...gone so easily. "Shit. Sorry little frog, meant to hit the Awakened beside you." "No! Not the frog! How dare you!"

17] There's a little house in LA that's got a nice little sitting area. Obviously anywhere you can see the PoF sky-boxes. And Cantha is its own wonder. Would it be cheesy of me to say the instances that have bits of old LA in it? Mostly because I miss the fountains.

18] Aside from being decent at WvW/PvP/Raids? Never mind the fact I've yet to really try the latter. I still can't seem to get the hang of the dive/climb that the griffon has??? And ingraining a rotation for attacks in my head. I just. Use things. As they recharge. Most of the time.

19] I don't think ten years ago I would've imagined that I'd have a Tumblr platform or an Instagram platform. Or that I'd occasionally stream things. I've enjoyed the creativity this game has given me in other outlets.

20] Give Ranger a rifle/pistol. Give us more turtle skins, Canthan skimmer and beetle skins. Give the Commander a break. Keep giving us content.

Guild Wars 2 anniversary questions

This week marks ten years of Guild Wars 2, so take some asks or just answer the list as we look back on the game.

What was the current story release when you started playing?

What race and profession was the first character you made? Do you still play them?

How many characters do you have now?

Do you have a favourite playable race?

How many hours have you played overall? (/age in game)

Do you have real life relationships that have come from or been shaped by your play of Guild Wars 2?

What is the biggest or most arduous project you have completed in the game?

Do you have any items you keep in your characters’ inventory for purely sentimental reasons?

Do you remember any specific times when the game made you go “oh shit” in a good way?

Do you have a (not so) secret Guild Wars shame?

What’s your favourite feature that’s been added to the game since you started?

Is there anything that has been removed from the game that you miss or are particularly nostalgic about?

Do you have a favourite story episode (including expansion chapters)?

Favourite NPC who has been a companion of the Commander?

Favourite antagonist?

Favourite creature?

Favourite location?

Is there anything you have not yet mastered in the game?

Has this game inspired you for other things? If so, how?

What would you like to see for the future of Guild Wars 2?

[twatkcox]

[The Keihancarl Diaries: May 17-19, 2019]

It’s me, Keihancarl. And here comes another awesome weekend, the Pinoy Otaku Festival 2019: Asobu at Robinsons Novaliches Trade Hall.

May 17

It sure feels weird going out on a weekday, but I did it anyway. After all, I really can't afford to miss the first day of the event.

I decided on a pastel yellow polo shirt and a black knitted vest, as well as my black fingerless gloves. I was initially thinking of wearing my black fleece coat (again), but I’ll just reserve it for the weekend.

I left home right after lunch, but I didn’t head straight to the event just yet. I checked a few shops in Fairview Terraces and SM Fairview, mostly bookshops, before heading to the venue.

I then bought a ticket (a one-day pass) at the entrance. Alternatively, you can purchase a three-day pass or a VIP pass online, but they won’t be available onsite on the day of the event.

Anyway, I got inside the venue and checked some of the stalls. At Japan All-Stars stall, I bought a red anime T-shirt featuring Izaya Orihara of Durarara!!, the one I’ve been eyeing since last year’s POF event, as well as a couple of awesome pins. I initially wanted to buy an anime T-shirt featuring White Blood Cell of Cells At Work, but they don’t have large sized ones. And I did take selfies with some of the cosplayers.

There weren’t a lot of congoers on the first day of the event, The venue is expected to be jampacked on the second and third day (18th and 19th, respectively), as some of the biggest competitions (Battle Of The Bands, Fantasm Inter-School, Cosplay Championship League, and a few others) are held on these dates.

There were a couple of panel discussions: The Status Of E-sports In The Philippines and Sexual Harassment In Cosplay. There’s also a short video feature on the Japanese-Filipino anime, Barangay 143.

On the Otaku Singing Bee, the contestants must rearrange the words that appear on the screen, that is actually part of the lyrics that will follow soon afterward, as well as guessing the missing part of the song’s lyrics. The game features theme songs from Maid Sama!, The Prince Of Tennis, Mobile Suit Gundam Seed, Yu-Gi-Oh!, and a few others.

From time to time, auctions of various anime merch were held, ranging from posters, stuffed plushies, even soundtrack CDs. There are people playing board games on the Game Detective booth. And there’s the display of Godzilla figures, too.

I had an early dinner at Jollibee, which is not far from the venue. I immediately head back to the event after that.

And then there’s the Otaku Choice Award, where they award a nominee from each different categories. In addition, there’s also the general awards for non-Filipino and non-local things, such as anime shows, movie/adaptations, Japanese bands, console and online games, and seiyuus (Japanese voice actors). There were performances in between.

I decided to go home midway through the end of the awarding ceremony, even though I really wanted to stick around and catch the rest of it. And that’s how my first day at the event went.

May 18

It sure was a sunny day, perfect for a nice tall cup of cappuccino frappe. However, I decided to skip going to the café for now and head straight to the venue instead. I arrived at exactly 2:00 in the afternoon.

I decided on an all-black outfit consisting of my black fleece coat and my black Tokyo Ghoul shirt. I only decided to wear my black fingerless gloves later that afternoon.

There were more cosplayers at the venue compared to the first day of the event. There's also a slight increase in congoers as well. The event area will probably be filled later during the Battle Of The Bands segment, but for now, it is kind of spacious in here.

I didn’t catch Your Cosplay Sounds Familiar (I think it already ended by the time I arrived), but I did catch Fantasm Interschool Cosplay, where contestants from three schools perform a scene from anime series or movies.

There were performances by Hiro and Kazuki and aidoru (idol) group CH4U, as well as Gekitora and Yohgen. There's also a panel talk on piracy and anime fandom, as well as a guest appearance by Xavier Ray of January 24 Productions.

At around 5:30 PM, the Battle Of The Bands commenced. Around that time, I decided to have an early dinner of beef misono bowl (with a pair of chopsticks) at Yoshinoya SM Fairview. Back at Robinsons Novaliches, I bought a drink from OTeaHamaru (a cup of jasmine tea with rock salt and cheese) before heading back inside the venue.

I finished the drink inside while checking some of the stalls and watching some of the performances by competing bands. The winners of earlier competitions were later announced as well.

I bought four pins from Pixel Hero and took additional selfie pics with some of the cosplayers. I uploaded some of the pics to my Instagram account.

Last night, I left the venue early since someone's expecting me at home. This time, however, I decided to stay until the second day of the event ends. There's one more day left before POF Asobu wraps up.

May 19

And welcome to the final day of POF Asobu. I decided to wear the same outfit, but featuring my striped brown and white polo shirt instead.

I left home at exactly 1:00 PM and went straight to the venue without checking any of the shops. There were a lot of congoers at the event, as well as the cosplayers. Of course, I took selfies with some of them.

By the time I got there, Karaoke Battle Royale is still ongoing. There were also performances by Sofia The Artist, Aidoru Sozai, Pepper Keibu, Ivy! Musume, and a few others. There's a panel talk about how to become a successful game streamer.

Around 4:30 PM, there was a special guest appearance by Ariel Villasanta of the comedic duo Maverick and Ariel, promoting the upcoming first reality movie “Kings Of Reality Shows”. He also served as one of the judges of the Cosplay Championship League, which commenced right after showing a teaser of the said reality movie.

I decided to leave the venue in the meantime and crossed the footbridge to SM Fairview to check a few shops and had an early dinner at Tokyo Tokyo (which is now located at Annex 3, a.k.a. The Parkway). I had a donburi bowl, a pork katsudon, which is really good.

Heading back to the event, the cosplay competition is still ongoing. I get to see some awesome performances by some of the contestants. Later on, there’s another panel talk on what it takes to be an idol.

There’s actually a meet-and-greet event behind the stage, but I think it’s exclusively for VIP ticket holders. For a while, I stick around to watch the panel discussion until I saw Ariel heading out of the venue. I quickly head out of the venue and managed to catch up just to take a selfie with him. He was really nice. I immediately upload the pic to my Instagram account and head back inside the venue, in time for Poly-V’s performance.

I also posted some of the pictures to my Instagram account and had a few more selfies with the cosplayers. There were a few more performances (including Ivy! Musume) before the announcement of winners and the closing ceremony. They also teased next year’s POF event.

And yes, I bought just one more souvenir, a cute green dinosaur as my bag’s charm. A perfect match for the awesome pins I’ve bought from Pixel Hero during the first and second day of the event.

By the time the event finished, it started raining outside. I had to wait for the rain to gradually weaken before heading to Fairview Terraces to check a couple of shops, and then head home. And that’s how my awesome weekend went.

Postscript

Compared to the previous POF events, this one is satisfactory in terms of the number of congoers and time management, among others. The lighting is okay, but the event’s (rented) sound system isn’t at par with the ones at Fairview Terraces. The air conditioning at the event area is okay, though at times it does get a little stuffy, especially on the third day of the event. Also, there are some bystanders watching the event for free by the elevated hallway, blocking access to the restaurants and restrooms. This prompted the event organizer to tell the congregating non-paying bystanders to leave the area and even asked the guards for help in keeping the elevated access free from obstructing crowds.

Despite the problems, the entire event went pretty well and they somehow managed to stick to the intended schedule. The event area is incredibly spacious, and the crowd is somewhat controlled compared to the previous POF events. It actually feels more secure and comfortable in there. I also loved the booths and the choice of merchandises available. There’s also a dedicated area for meet-and-greet events at the back of the stage.

I really get to enjoy the event, and I bought some nice souvenirs too. I had fun taking selfies with some of the awesome cosplayers as well. I hope they’ll consider Robinsons Novaliches as the venue for the next POF event since this is very convenient for those coming from Northern Metro Manila and Bulacan areas.

It sure was a pretty exhausting weekend, but I actually had a great time there. Right now, I’m considering attending a similar event later this year, most probably Cosplay Mania 2019 at the SMX Convention Center. I’ll probably need to save up if I really want to go there.

All right, it’s time to wrap this up. Until next time!

All pics are from my private Instagram account, @kcox105.

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #212

“Dress Fitting, Mouse Hunt, Judge and Painter”

-The next day-

[Doc] Is standing on a block in the vine room hanging a poster on the wall. The main image is three birds inside a bulb of glass, but there's lots of small things in the background too.

[Deer] Comes up from the lab- Doc?  What is that?

[Doc] Steps down and backs off to look at it proudly- I have no idea! But I got it while I was irl and it just spoke to me for some reason. I've seen mideavil artwork online plenty of times and it looks like it must be a very old image.

[Deer] - It is certainly pretty, hey did Lie ever tell you what CP got her?

[Doc] No, I hope it was worth the trip though, what a miserable mess.

-HerobrineCP has left the server-

[Doc] Hmph. Let's hope he's just running errands. I certainly don't feel like I'm missing anything- Xe turns to look at Yaunfen, who's dozing lightly on the bed near the stairs and then returns hir gaze to Deerheart, touching the corner of her cheek lightly with one gloved hand - Everything I need, is right here.

[Deer] - Aww, you are my everything as well

[Doc] Makes a rather sappy contented face, but it's geniune. - OH! I have something for you too. - rustles around - close your eyes and stick out your hands.

[Deer] Gives them a curious look before following their directions-

[Doc] Puts the string of star- shaped lights in her hands, the little battery pack is glowing faintly orange from the mix of red and glowstone dust inside of it. The stars themselves are each lit and cycling slowly through a rainbow of different colors. - You can look now.

[Deer] Looks and makes a small happy little gasp- They're so pretty!

[Doc] Not as pretty as you, but I thought you'd enjoy them all the same. I think you're supposed to string them along the walls or drape them over tihings.

[Deer] - Ooh!  We could make some copies to hang in Lie's green house!  I bet that would look pretty as well!

[Doc] With all her colorful flowers? That is a really good idea, and maybe some on the porch by the mushroom umbrella? Make a regular garden party out of it.

[Deer] - Oh absolutely!

[Doc] But this string... I was thinking... could maybe be in our bedroom? A bit of mood lighting for playtime? - Eyebrow wiggle-

[Deer] - Of course, or maybe it would look better around me?

[Doc] Makes a very low noise that's purely sexual-

[TLOT] Is in the next room and takes a deep breath. - Ahhhh, that's nice... My lamb?

[Steve] Yeeess?

[TLOT] Perhaps you should do our housemates a favor and volunteer to watch Yaunfen for a bit?

[Steve] fake put-upon look - Oh must I?

[TLOT] I think I can make it worth your while later. I'm going to go give Lie her dress and make sure it fits. I'll be back in a bit.

[Steve] Oh all right-

[TLOT] Love you.

[Steve] Love you too.

[TLOT] Walks outside and takes a nice breath of air and rolls down into his cat form in a burst of fog. With a happy little roar he goes dashing through the sunlight dappled grass towards Lie's home.

[Endrea] Is lounging out front while her children play-

[TLOT] Playfully sneaks up on her in the grass.

[Endrea] Is too focused on Willow and Oak to notice-

[TLOT] Jumps onto her shoulders and gives a small triumphant roar

[Endrea] Looks and snorts at him- Hello TLOT

[TLOT] Gives her a big lick on the nose-

[Endrea] Rolls her eyes- If you're looking for CP you just missed him

[TLOT] Nope! Not after the sour puss today. I'm looking for Lie.

[Endrea] - I believe she's tending to an injured dog...

[TLOT] Then I may be of help. Thank you dear lady. - Does a little bow, switching his tail around, and then leaping to the ground. - dog pen? Or in the house?

[Endrea] - Dog pen

[TLOT] Ah, curses. I guess I need to shed my fur - He pofs up in the fog again and goes striding down the yard with his cloak flowing in his wake- Hey Lie?

[Lie] - In here!  Stay still!

[TLOT] Goes to the gate. - Do you need any blood Lie? Is it bad?

[Lie] - Oh, this one just ended up playing a bit too hard and got bit

[TLOT] Silly dogs- leans on the fence- I brought you something when you're done. Though you may need to clean up first if you've been doing chores all day

[Lie] - Probably- She stands up after wrapping the dogs legs and she's covered in dirt, manure, and a bit of blood

[TLOT] Yeeeah, you may need a bath first....

[Lie] - I'll go set one up

[TLOT] How come you don't have one as part of your house Lie? I know you have some issues with the lava hardening on you.

[Lie] - Because normally CP is here and he'll usually toss me into the lava pool and then help me get it off

[TLOT] Get it off huh....? I presume that's a prelude to other things? - grins

[Lie] Freezes and blushes- Shut up

[TLOT] Pffft! I brought you your dress for the coronation, you should tidy up a bit and try it on.

[Lie] - Oh, okay- Lie quickly throws down some stone bricks and fills the space between them with water.  She also puts up some banners so she has privacy, but TLOT doesn't have to leave

[TLOT] Pulls out a block to sit on and faces away from her- For the queen's modesty, of course.

[Lie] - I'm not a queen TLOT

[TLOT] Smiles softly-  You're Cp's queen.

[Lie] Embarrassed noises-

[TLOT] I'm god to my mate, it's just a thing. It's nice to feel special.

[Lie] Slips into the tub- I'm not sure he has a term for what I am for him yet...  Well, other than his

[TLOT] What do you consider him? The same?

[Lie] - My mate, my love...- Then jokingly- My constant project

[TLOT] Snorts - That he is! What's the saying? No work of art is ever finished, only abandoned?

[Lie] - Perhaps, oh, by the way, could you give me some Nether rack?

[TLOT] Sure! - He opens the creative and pulls out a stack- Do you have a new project? Or just planning on refacing some walls and floors?

[Lie] - Some more plants, I created a tree for the Nether some time ago, but I want to try and make some more

[TLOT] Ah, some potted plants for his office at least. Doc told me it's huge.

[Lie] - More for like outside, if I have to end up spending time over there, then I will add more foliage

[TLOT] What kind of theme are you going for? Things that match the surroundings? Or contrast?

[Lie] - Mostly just seeing what will grow, the one thing I have gotten to grow is a tree

[TLOT] You need hardy stuff that likes the infernal heat... maybe like cacti? Without the spiky bits?

[Lie] - Maybe, like I said, we'll see what springs up

[Lie] Finishes her bath and redresses herself before removing the bath and the banners-

[TLOT] Is still facing away and tosses the stack of netherrack over his shoulder so it bounces into her inventory- Can I look now?

[Lie] - Yeah, I'm done

[TLOT] Swivels around and takes a sniff of the air- Much better.

[Lie] - Hey!  I didn't smell that bad!

[TLOT] sniggers- I'm just sensitive- he pulls out the dress- here you go-

[Lie] Takes the silk item, it's a long strapless white dress that has a short jacket which covers her neck shoulders and arms.  The jacket sleeves end in a light flair.  The jacket is a periwinkle blue and the edges of the actual dress are too, as is the mesh which covers her back which dips in a sharp v.  The entire outfit should fit her form well once it's adjusted-

[TLOT] Pull it on and I'll nip or tuck anywhere you need it.

[Lie] Turns away and hesitates before quickly switching clothes-

[TLOT] Well? Is it okay?

[Lie] - Yeah, I mean the shoulders are a little tight, but I think it's supposed to be like that, it's not like my movement is inhibited though

[TLOT] I can give it a little slack if needed...?

[Lie] - I think it will be fine, thank you, now to work on those plants...

[TLOT] Well go ahead and shuck it off so you don't get it dirty.

[Lie] - Oh, right- Starts hurriedly changing back

[TLOT] Fumbles around and drops something, - ah dammit! - The spawn egg breaks on the floor and a very tiny mouse scurries away from him-

[Lie] - Er, was that a mouse?

[TLOT] Yes! Sorry Lie! I was carrying it to give to Grinny. Dammit, it went under your armor stand!

[Lie] - Don't worry, either the Vulpix's will get it, Hope, or one of the barn cats

[TLOT] You know... maybe you should get it.

[Lie] - Me?

[TLOT] Yes, try out your cat-like reflexes. I bet you could nab it easy.

[Lie] Blushes- Um...  Uh...

[TLOT] You're already half undressed anyway, give it a shot. It doesn't have hardly any programming, all it can do is run from you.

[Lie] - Mmm...  Oh alright- She concentrates and shifts into her cat form

[Mouse] Peeks out from under the boot on her armor stand and scoots back underneath.

[Lie] Crouches down and focus' on the boot-

[Mouse] Moves a little bit behind the stand and makes a break for the bookcases, wiggling between two volumes.

[Lie] Takes off after it and sticks her paw between the books-

[Mouse] Scuttles up the back of the bookshelf and tries to run past her-

[Lie] - Get back here!

[TLOT] laughs- Sounds like me when it's Karen's bathtime.

[Mouse] runs up the side of the butts pumpkin and tries to wiggle under the sign with no luck-

[Lie] Leaps at it, getting into the hunt-

[Mouse] Panicky squeak as it jumps off the pumpkin and tries to go under the bed instead -

[Lie] Tears after it-

[Mouse] Climbs the sheets as fast as it can-

[TLOT] Go Lie go!

[Lie] Jumps on top of it-

[Mouse] Poofs into a morsel with a bitty squeak-

[Lie] There's a tiny bit of blood on her fur now- Oh!

[TLOT] Good job! That was some nice leaping and pouncing!

[Lie] - I...  I got a little caught up in it...

[TLOT] Hehe, I do some of our hunting the same way. Chickens are nicely challenging, and they taste good to boot.

[Lie] Bats the morsel towards TLOT- Yeah...  You can keep this

[TLOT] Ah, no taste for the prize, Lie is only about the challenge. - He flips it into his mouth like a mint. - Your loss.

[Lie] Can't get to the bit of blood on her- uuuuuuuuungh

[TLOT] Little floof is fussy about her white fur huh? - He takes the damp towel from her bath and cleans off the little bit of blood. - Perfect.

[Lie] - Thank you- She stretches a little and flops

[TLOT] So where did Cp jet off too? You seem relaxed, so I'm presuming it was something mundane?

[Lie] - He went to get the ingredients Sam asked for, he'll probably stop here first to check over with Sam what he got to make sure it's all correct before taking it to his server

[TLOT] Ah okay. So still no on the plumes for Cp's armor? -grinning-

[Lie] - He'd burn it before you could even add it

[TLOT] I know. But it's a fun thought. I know a little secret too.... - conspiritorial wink-

[Lie] Perks- What is it?

[TLOT] I saw Doc's outfit...

[Lie] - Share the secret?

[TLOT] It's a dress...

[Lie] - CP won't be happy about that

[TLOT] Too bad. I think it looks nice.

[Lie] Giggles- Now where did my clothes get to...

[TLOT] Points-

[Lie] - Thanks- She jumps down and rubs against TLOT as she passes him

[TLOT] Reaches down to scratch her ears. - Little huntress

[Lie] - Mind opening the door to my room for me?

[TLOT] Reaches for her- of course.

[Lie] Let's herself be picked up and purrs-

[TLOT] Happily pets her and takes her to her room, he squeaks open the door and sets her daintily on the bed.

[Lie] - Thank you, she pulls her dress out of her inventory- Will you put this in that chest under the window?

[TLOT] Sure - He walks over and squeaks open the chest, pausing there for a moment with the lid open - wanted me to put it in your toybox huh?

[Lie] Freezes as her shape becomes indistinguishable from glowing so brightly-

[TLOT] Blinks in consternation- That's a bit blinding!

[Lie] Whines and tries to hide under the blankets-

[TLOT] Takes out a vibrating egg and it buzzes in his palm. - That's a bit weak though. I think I could juice it up a bit... - He tips out the batteries and lets them clunk back into the box. He pulls out a bit of restone and picks a few pixels off it before slipping some inside.

[Lie] - What are you doing?

[TLOT] Just some minor repairs. - He twists the vibe to high and the buzzing increases a lot- that's better...

[Lie] Tries to slip under the bed-

[TLOT] Aww don't hide. I have something nice for you.

[Lie] - So I can hear...

[TLOT] I can feel that curiousity radiating from you....

[Lie] - Shut up...  I can't hear you!

[TLOT] Turns the little device off. - can you hear me now?

[Lie] Grumbles and her head pokes out from under the bed-

[TLOT] You're adorable.

[Lie] - So everyone says- She darts to the other side of the bed and crawls out, transforming back once she's clear of the bed and without her clothes

[TLOT] Eh, if you've got it, might as well flaunt it. Did you need anything else while I'm here?

[Lie] - No, I think I'm good- She pulls on her shirt

[TLOT] Maybe you should have some fun while you wait for Cp to come back? - with a quick twist he turns the vibe back on and reaches around to poke it up inside her-

[Lie] Shrieks and falls back onto the bed- TLOT!

[TLOT] Backs off quickly. - Just a thought.

[Lie] - Ngh!

[TLOT] I'm headed back. Take your time Lie, have a nice afternoon.

[Lie] - I hate you right now...

[TLOT] Wipes his upper lip with his forked tongue- that tastes like a bit of a lie...

[Lie] Groans and buries her face into the blankets-

[TLOT] Feels her growing arousal and sends a bit of it back to her -I'll just leave you to it. - waves cheerfully and departs

[Lie] Is muttering "I hate you" into the blanket over and over again.  However her legs clamp tighter as her pleasure grows, but it's not quite doing it for her leaving her in a state of frustration-

[Splender] Perks as he receives a message from his brother and he rushes off to Doc's-

[Doc] Is talking to Alexsezia about the poster-

[Alexsezia] It is really interesting. What's with the green cat eating the sun?

[Doc] It's a lion. I don't know why it's green.

[Splender] - Doc?  Are you here?

[Doc] Splender? I'm in the vine room.

[Splender] Teleports in- Oh, I didn't know you had a guest, am I interrupting anything?

[Doc] Nah, just a bit of chatting about art.

[Alexsezia] I've been doing lot of embellished stuff lately. Doc got me into looking at really old illuminated books on the internet.

[Splender] - Oh, okay, um, I have a message from my brother...

[Doc] Oh dear... not more bad news I hope? I saw Cp go out earlier...

[Splender] - No!  Not at all!  He's decided to send Judge and Painter here under the pretense of them checking on the others...

[Doc] They're okay in a digital enviroment? Mostly human?

[Alexsezia] There's a Painter? Judge sounds a bit serious though.

[Splender] - If it's brief they'll be fine, we've done it many times with the other pasta's when we needed to get them quickly from one area to another

[Doc] Okay... Splender? You're the expert, do I need to do anything in advance? Topics to avoid?

[Splender] - I think brother mostly just wants them to get used to this place and meet you before introducing them to the idea of having a child.  Those two can get pretty defensive around strangers...

[Alexsezia] Can I stay? Or will they attack me since I'm obviously digital/human?

[Splender] - So long as you don't offend them it should be alright...

[Doc] Offend?

[Splender] - Like harsh criticism, violence towards children...

[Doc] I'll be gentle.

[Splender] - Then are you ready for me to get them?

[Doc] Gives hir coat a bit of a tug and fluffs hir hair- Ready

[Alexsezia] Tries to brush some of the cat hair off her, but it's hopelessly woven into her chainmail shirt - I hope they aren't allergic to cats....

[Splender] - Not at all- He creates an opening and steps through, quickly returning with two in tow

[Doc] Hello.

[Alexsezia] Cheerful wave-

[Judge] Is a young looking girl with short blonde hair in a short white dress with tall white boots,  She carries a white sword but the thing which stands out about her are her eyes, they are deep and black with small specks like stars-

[Painter] Is taller than Judge with messy short black hair, he has a blue jacket and jeans on with sneakers.  His white mask has a blood painted smile on it-

[Splender] - Judge?  Painter?  This is Doc and Alexsezia!

[Alexsezia] Looks only slightly unnerved by Painter's mask.

[Doc] Nice to meet both of you. I understand you wanted to check up on the others?

[Painter] - That's what Slender told us to do, he's starting to get a bit antsy what with so many people gone from the house

[Doc] Well the pokemon trainers are mostly downstairs if you want to come with me. Strangled has taken to crashing in Lost Silver's room, and Glitchy is often hanging out with them too. I've offered Strangled his own space but he usually tells me to go die in a fire or something similar.

[Judge] - I suppose we could start with them...

[Alexsezia] Opens the lab door for them

[Doc] Thank you-

[Alexsezia] So you're an artist? I am too.

[Painter] - I doubt we think of the same thing when we think of painters

[Splender] Teleports off to warn BEN-

[Alexsezia] Oh... do you only do walls and houses or something? I work mostly on canvas-

[Painter] - Oh no, I use canvas, it's my paint that's different

[Alexsezia] Neat!  I make all my own pigments and dyes too!

[Doc] Watch out for the button at the bottom of the steps.

[Painter] - I gather my own paint

[Judge] Is getting a tad irritated at Alexsezia-

[Alexsezia] cheerfully- We're all crafty around here. Doc built this house.

[Doc] Blushes slightly-

[Painter] - I gather blood

[Alexsezia] Oh, so you just do monochrome work?

[Painter] - In a sense

[Silver] Is feeding his smaller pokemon-

[Doc] Hey Silver! Hows the team faring?

[Judge] Narrows her eyes at Silver-

[Alexsezia] Oh the little pink critter is adorable! I mean they're both cute but still!

[Silver] - Good, just feeding the smaller guys now, Strangled's taking care of the others

[Sylveon] Looks at Alexsezia- Syl!

[Alexsezia] Holds out a hand to see if it's okay to pet them-

[Doc] Silver has been a huge help with my own pokemon too.

[Espurr] Comes over and puts a morsel of food in her hand-

[Silver] - Er, Espurr?  She can't eat that...

[Alexsezia] No, I can't, but thank you little one.

[Espurr] Takes it back using telekinesis-

[Alexsezia] Psychic kitty...

[Doc] So how's the Zweilous? Do you need another helmet for the second head or is it behaving better now that you have the badge for it?

[Silver] - It's doing better now, I don't think it needs another helmet

[Doc] Excellent. Any progress with MissingNo?

[Silver] - Not really...  But it's not so loud anymore

[Doc] Hopefully it's because it's more relaxed now that it's not trapped? Poor thing might be a tad traumatized.

[Silver] - Maybe...

[Painter] - to cut down on time, mind telling us how Strangled and Glitchy are Silver?

[Silver] - Oh!  Well...  They're pretty good, I think Glitchy is exploring outside...

[Doc] I take it Strangled is still holed up in your room pouting?

[Silver] - Not right now, he's holed up down there feeding the larger pokemon and his

[Doc] Looks at the group - Up to you guys, bug him or leave him be?

[Painter] - I don't think we need to see everybody, that would take too long, just so long as we can get the general idea of how everyone is...  That should be good enough

[Doc] Okay. - Looks at Silver- Do you need anything while I'm down here Silver?

[Silver] - No, I'm good

[Doc] Alright. last I saw Grinny he was in the kitchen. Smile is outside somewhere probably playing with Liu-

[Judge] - Liu?  Oh, that's right, Jeff's brother's, right?  He was somehow brought back?

[Doc] A bit proudly- I had a bit of help from a friendly witch. She helped me reclaim his soul. So yes, he's alive, in a sense.

[Painter] - Can we continue now?  I'd like to get back to my projects...

[Alexsezia] Perks up a little - What are you working on? Subject-wise?

[Doc] Let's go then.

[Painter] - This and that

[Alexsezia] Been doing illuminations myself. Really old school. TLOT made me some gold ink so it really pops.

[Judge] Her hand is getting closer to her sword-

[Alexsezia] Trots ahead to hold the outside door politely-

-It's a lovely day outside with the sunlight sparkling off the deep blue waters of the bay and the sugarcanes bending lightly in the breeze.

[Judge] - It is bright out here...

[Doc] Yeah, it's nice. I prefer a good lightning storm though. - Leads them up the steps towards the road to the spawn

[gem] -is standing outside at spawn with eddy and Edward and her guardians-

[Doc] Hi Gem, got the whole group today huh?

[Alexsezia] Kneels and offers her arms to hug the little enders-

[gem] yea it's a nice day

[eddy and Edward] -hug alexsezia-

[Painter] - Who are they?

[gem] I am just you friendly space angel brine with my guardians and baby Endermen out for a day on this server.

[Doc] She's a digital glitch much like I am. Anyone with unusual eyes you encounter will likely be either a type of Herobrine or one of your creepypastas.

[Judge] - So many...

[Alexsezia] She's also a very nice neighbor. And BEN and Aven's roommate.

[gem] -sees judge angel's eye- wow your eyes are pretty

[Judge] Is surprised by this compliment-

[gem] they remind me of the beauty of space

[Judge] Has no idea what to say-

[Alexsezia] Looks at her straight on- Yeah! They do look like they have stars! I thought they were just black.

[Judge] Starts to hide behind Painter a little-

[Doc] Ah, don't be shy. we don't bite.

[gem] -makes a small cluster of stars and offers it to judge angel-

[Judge] Shies away-

[Painter] - She doesn't really like having her eyes talked about...

[gem] oh sorry I didn't know

[Doc] Oh, I see. It's just a thing around here. Lots of people with unusual eyes. - shows off hir own subtle green glow- Your housemate Cp's glowing white is almost the norm on this server.

[Painter] - Speaking of, he's been gone from the manor for some time...

[Doc] You guys don't know? He got married.

[Painter] Laughs a little- Yeah, that's a good one

[Doc] Honestly, I have a picture! Hang on- flips around in hir files

[Alexsezia] Nonono, I can do you one better - She pulls out a screenshot attatched to a bit of paper. It's Cp looking annoyed on the floor with Lie to one side and Notch and Stevie on the other. - The brine with the pretty white hair is his wife Lilinthia.

[Painter] Scrutinizes the picture, trying to remember details for later paintings- Interesting...

[Doc] Where did you get that?

[Alexsezia] I know people...

[eddy and Edward] -go over to judge angel-

[Judge] Looks down at them- Such strange little creatures...

[Doc] Ah, they're a miniature version of a common mob around here. The big ones are called Endermen, they're harmless unless you look directly at them, eye contact makes them go ballistic. But the designers who coded them were inspired by stories of Slenderman. - gestures at the little enders- Imagine those, but three blocks high; as tall as Cp.

[Painter] - Yeah we'll not mention that to him...

[Doc] Minecraft is a super popular game. I bet he already knows. It's not like it's an unflattering reference. Endermen are extremely formidible foes if you anger them. If they weren't deathly allergic to water, the players would be quite outmatched.

-There's a bit of laughter and the sounds of children playing a game up the hill-

[Doc] Ah, that reminds me. Lj's circus is down the coast. Our friend Herabrine and him worked super hard to repair everything. If you don't want to make the hike I can call for him in chat. If he's outside the woods he should hear me.

[Judge] - Please, the sooner we can get home, the better

[eddy and Edward] -wiggle there arms-

This message has been removed.

[Painter] - Such odd anatomy...

[gem] they are my cute little sweeties

[Doc] One of their game functions is to take random blocks, so the proportions were likely chosen to accomdate the block size. -types- Hey Lj? Two of your housemates are here to check on you. Can you come to the spawn for a minute?

[LJ] Pops into the air above them- Yeeees~?

[Doc] Gestures to Painter and Judge -

[Alexsezia] Hi Lj! You look great.

[gem] hey LJ how is the weather up there just as good as down here?

[LJ] - Well hello you two!

[Painter] - What happened to you?

[Doc] I removed his Insanity and... - xe turns to Lj can't see and points to the children playing nearby- a few other things got fixed too.

[Judge] - How odd...  I think you looked better monochrome

[gem] doc fixes a lot of things I swear xe is the best at it

[Alexsezia] I'm suprised... I'd think Painter would prefer the monochome considering his artistic mein.

[Doc] Blushes- Thank you Gem

[Painter] - No, I prefer a bit of color

[Judge] - He'll paint in normal colors if the mood strikes him

[Doc] Hey Lj, hows the candy crop coming?

[LJ] - Alright, I'm not much of a gardener though

[gem] -starts to make a tiny nebula-

[Doc] If you need any help, let me know. Can't wait until those ice cream cone trees start 'fruiting' Haha.

[LJ] - Nor can I

[Alexsezia] Wants to poke Gem's nebula-

[gem] -notices alexsezia looking at the nebula- do you want to see it?

[Doc] Turns to Painter and Judge- Should I try and find Jeff? He tends to avoid me. But he might want to go back with you guys.

[Alexsezia] Please?

[Painter] - Sure, it's him, Jane, BEN, and Herobrine left I believe...

[gem] -hands it to alexsezia-

[Doc] Uses hir pinpoint to look for Jeff before calling out to him over the chat- Hey Jeff? Judge Angels and Bloody Painter are here. Did you want a ride back to the manor?

[Jeff] - Nah, I'm good

[Doc] Calls out to Jane in a similar way-

[Jane] - Not right now

[Doc] I presume you can read the chat? Jeff and Jane say they're good.

[Painter] - Chat?

[Doc] Oh, I guess technically you're not signed in. Hang on - Xe takes out a command block and turns on the chat for them - Just think about what you want to type and do the hand motions-

[Judge] Puts in garbled gook-

[Alexsezia] Good effort, keep trying!

[Painter] - It's okay Judge, I know you have to look at the keyboard usually...

[Doc] Jeff? Jane? Can you repeat? I've got Judge and Painter in the chat now.

[Jeff] - We're staying for now!

[Jane] - For once I agree with the moron

[Doc] Anybody seen Liu? I'm sure he's got Smile.

[Jeff] - How the fuck should I know?  Although I'd like to have my dog back...

[Doc] It was just a general question for anyone to answer.

[Steve] Over chat - I saw him yesterday?

[TLOT] also chat - Not helpful Steve

[Steve] chat- Sorry....

[liu] -in chat- I am at my house

[Jane] - I don't know, maybe somebody should keep track of their damn dog!

[Jeff] - Bitch

[Jane] - Cunt

[LJ] Is snickering-

[Alexsezia] Chuckles and speaks aloud. She's holding the nebula gently- He's just mad that his brother played the hero last week and Jeff was nowhere to be found.

[Painter] - I don't understand...

[gem] -puts on her star crown-

[Alexsezia] One of our more belligerent Herobrine's kidnapped Jane for a lark and Liu battled valiantly to save her. MB just likes to rumble and if you kill him he'll usually just admit defeat and go home.

[LJ] Bursts out into raucous laughter-

[Alexsezia] You know Mix right? She delivered the killing blow!

[LJ] - You mean the little female brine?

[Alexsezia] Yeah! She has some kind of... of... power glove that shoots energy stuff!

[Judge] - I don't mean to be rude, but can we move onto the others?

[gem] -makes a rainbow planet crown and puts it on lj's head-

[LJ] - Ooo!  Pretty!

[Doc] Well... we can go by Lie's house if you want to meet her. It's on the way to BEN's place and I think that's everybody.

[Painter] - And why wouldn't we be seeing Herobrine?

[gem] which herobine

[Judge] - Ours

[gem] ah cp you mean

[Doc] He stepped out for a minute. Lie probably knows why. He's free to come and go and he still has loyal mobs on his home seed.

[Painter] - Then lead on

[gem] -pick up eddy and Edward- adventure

[Gk] Flaps down from the sky and lands near them - More pastas?

[Alexsezia] They're just visiting-

[Painter] - The hell is that?

[Gk] I'm a dragon, duh.

[Doc] He's also a Herobrine.

[gem] hey gk

[Judge] - So odd...

[Gk] Minces along, obviously in a good mood-

[Doc] Herobrine's are as varied as the seeds that generate them.

[Lie] took the vibrator out but is now a bit frustrated sexually and is heading outside to work on more plants for the Nether-

[Gk] Gallops a bit ahead and startles her intentionally-

[Lie] Yelps- GK!

[Gk] a bit too loud- Hey Lie! Have you seen Endrea? I'm supposed to help her babysit.

[Lie] - She and the kids moved to the back of the house where there's a bit more shade

[Gk] Okay! Goes trotting around the back of the house-

[Doc] walking up the path with the group- I swear helping Cp's dragon Endrea take care of her babies has taken 100 years of cynicisim off his shoulders

[Lie] - Perhaps, out for a walk Doc?- She starts putting down some Nether rack

[Alexsezia] We have guests Lie!

[Doc] This is Bloody Painter and Judge Angels, guys this is Cp's lovely wife Lilinthia. Lie for short. She's also a Herobrine.

[gem] -is flying just above the group- are you bringing the nether out of the nether lie?

[Lie] - Hello

[Judge] Steps uncomfortably close to Lie, scrutinizing her-

[Lie] - Er...

[Judge] - Innocent

[Doc] I guess that's accurate?

[Painter] - It means she has Judge's approval

[Doc] Ah. She's Cp's everything. His queen.

[Alexsezia] chuckles - The keeper of the little red cat.

[Judge] Backs off-

[Painter] - Well, at least we'll have something to report back about Herobrine and his mate...

[Doc] He's happy. Things aren't always perfect, but he's got a rather volatile personality, even without his Insanity, and a lot of pain inside that he has a hard time expressing.

[Painter] - No shit

[Alexsezia] At least he's not trying to randomly grief us all the time anymore.

[Lie] - That's true

[Doc] So why did he jet out again Lie? Painter and Judge came partially to check on him.

[Lie] - Oh, he's getting the food supplies Sam requested

[Doc] Almost time for the party huh?

[Lie] - I suppose so, TLOT just brought over my outfit for a final fitting

[Doc] Do you like it?

[Lie] - Yes, I do

[Doc] Okay, as long as you're happy Lie.

[Alexsezia] Ooooh! I want to see! I'll catch up with you guys.

[Lie] - But...  But my plants...

[Alexsezia] You don't have to equipt it! I just want to see! Real quick.

[Painter] - Onto BEN?

[Lie] - Oh alright

[gem] yay to the house

[Doc] It's a ways away, would you like a ride?

[Judge] - A ride?

[Doc] Oh yes. I get creative with a lot more then just my patients.

[Painter] Frowns beneath his mask- How so?

[gem] -is flying above the group in the circles with her guardians-

[Doc] Takes a few steps back and does a little flourish with hir lab coat; uncurling into hir dragon shape. Xe shakes out hir mane and tail, luxuriating in being essencially naked in the sunshine.

[Painter] Stumbles backwards- What the!?

[Doc] I needed to be bigger, there's plenty of things that would like to get in here and wreck this sanctuary. Cp and I are the strongest brines on this seed.

[Judge] - Well we know our Herobrine is strong

[Doc] And adaptable. Happily, so am I. It came in super handy when he was still being randomly violent. - Xe lays hir head down - just climb on and I'll carry you-

[Painter] Helps Judge on before climbing on himself-

[Doc] Ready Gem? We probably shouldn't race this time so I don't lose my riders.

[gem] we are ready

[Doc] Prances up on the air blocks and runs along, xe skims over Lie's horse pen to give them a good view and snakes around the roots of the gigantic tree.

[Painter] - So many painting subjects...

[gem] -is following close her guardians right behind-

[Doc] Look down there, some of our imported wildlife.

-Some of the mammoths are happily grazing-

[Judge] - So big...

[BEN] Is waiting out front-

[gem] -lands near ben- hey ben

[Doc] Makes a point of running near Aqua's pen to see if they'll pop out-

[Aqua] Looks at them from beneath the water-

[BEN] - Hey

[Doc] Makes a spiral down to the ground and loafs in Gem's yard. - Hi BEN, brought some old friends to visit.

[BEN] - Oh joy

[Judge] - Well hello to you to

[Doc] Clucks hir tongue- Better a friendly visit than a fight. I've had enough nonsense lately.

[BEN] - Whatever, you two have seen me, now get lost

[Splender] Comes out from inside the house where he had been playing with Hyrule- BEN that's not nice

[gem] oh splenderman I didn't know you where over would you like a cookie I made sugar cookies resently

[Doc] Twitches hir tail a bit- I had one, Snake gave it to me. They're quite good.

[Splender] - Oh yes! Absolutely!

[gem] I know I gave one to snake because he wanted to go over to your castle I wanted to make sure you guys had some -goes inside and come out with a stack of sugar cookies- if anyone wants of do take some

[Doc] Leans over and flicks out hir tongue like an open hand - pwese?

[gem] -puts a cookie on hir tounge-

[Painter] - Well, I suppose this is good enough for now, Splender?  Can you take us back?

[Splender] - Certainly, Doc?  I'll be right back

[Doc] Slurps it up and munches happily- Thank you-

[Splender] Takes the two pasta's and creates an opening, shepherding them through-

[Doc] At BEN - Well that went smoothly.

[BEN] Slumps a little- I'm just glad they didn't find out about Hyrule...

[gem] why?

[BEN] - Because Judge would have my head if she found out I had achieved something they had been trying for for so long

[gem] that makes it ironic because you weren't trying

[Doc] Well if they want to have a baby, I mean they'll find out eventually. But I'll protect your family as well.

[BEN] - Thanks

[twatkcox]

[The Keihancarl Diaries: June 2-3, 2018]

All right, this is going to be an awesome weekend! And best of all, it's right near my place.

Of course, there are some things I wanted to do first before proceeding to the main part of a really awesome weekend, the Pinoy Otaku Festival: Ai 2018.

To be honest, I'm still nervous about going to an otaku event all by myself, just like the last time. Being the shy, introverted person I was, I somehow managed to check most of the event happenings as well as missing some of them.

June 2nd

I decided on my favorite black fleece coat, my brown polo shirt, black fingerless gloves, and a pair of red socks. As much as I wanted to wear an anime shirt to an otaku event, I resist the urge since I'm not really keen on wearing all-black like the last time (all of my anime shirts are in black).

I left home early, but I decided to come to the otaku event later. For the next few hours, I’m dealing with a light to moderate rainfall, but luckily I didn't get wet.

Anyway, let's start with the usual mall-hopping fare and a sip of caramel frappe at my favorite milk tea shop in Lagro. I'll definitely need to calm down first since I tend to get overexcited at the thought of going to an otaku event for the second time.

I arrived at Fairview Terraces at exactly 2:00 PM. By the time I got there, a panel discussion Anime vs. Manga vs. Visual Novel vs. Light Novel is about to start. The panelists are asked about the first anime series they watched, as well as the first manga series/visual novel/light novel they read. They discussed the pros and cons of manga series adapted into anime and debating whether an anime adaptation is better than the original manga and vice versa (if I recall correctly).

There was a cute intermission number with OO-kun and Chu Chu, plus highlights of some upcoming anime shows on Animax (POF: Ai 2018’s official media partner), some performances and other intermission numbers, another panel discussion May Forever Ba Sa Cosplay (English: Is There Love In Cosplay) and a game show Anime Game Challenge. As for the latter, there were groups of contestants who answer the questions from three categories: guessing the anime character, what title of an anime theme song being played, and guessing who's the seiyū (Japanese voice actors) of the characters featured in a series of different anime clips.

There was also a singing game show The Otaku Singing Bee and another panel discussion about the issues within the cosplay community (Issues In Coscom).

The Otaku Singing Bee features the theme songs from old anime shows like DNAngel, Yu Yu Hakusho (Ghost Fighter), Fushigi Yuugi, Inuyasha, and Full Metal Alchemist.

For the first part of the game show, the contestants must rearrange the words that appear on the screen, that is actually part of the lyrics that will follow soon afterward. The second part of the game show, they must guess the missing part of the song's lyrics. One guy really nailed the last part of Ghost Fighter's theme song, too bad I never got to record it on video. It was really fun, and some of the audience/event-goers couldn't resist singing the lyrics to the opening theme songs, even if they are about to sing the correct answer.

As for the latter, the panel discussion tackles about the issues cosplayers faced in the industry, like bullying/cyberbullying and crab mentality within the cosplay community.

There was the announcement of those who will advance to the final round, and the first day of POF: Ai 2018 is over. I managed to upload some of the pics and videos, including selfies with some of the cosplayers.

June 3rd

Same outfit, but with a yellow shirt and striped white/black/yellow socks. I arrived at around 2:00 PM, around the same time as yesterday.

The second day of the event had singing competitions, cosplay competitions and the battle of the bands, with some performances, games, stand-up comedy, auctions, and panel discussions. I did have some additional selfies with the cosplayers too, some of the pics are uploaded to the event's FB page as comments to the cosplayers' posts.

I did catch Who Wants To Be An Otaku, an anime-oriented quiz game, and the panel discussion on seiyūs or Japanese voice actors. There’s also the Cosplay Idol Finals, but I didn’t get to see much of it since I decided to take some time off from the event for a nice stroll in the adjacent malls and check out some of the shops as well. I then head back to the activity center an hour and a half later.

It was already 6:00 PM and I'm starting to feel hungry so I immediately head to Yoshinoya at the mall's second level. I decided on a beef and mushroom bowl, which actually tasted like corned beef with mushrooms. It was okay. Cosplay Xtra already started by the time I head back to the activity center.

I then decided to have a sip of fruit tea. Come to think of it, CoCo already has branches in SM Fairview and Fairview Terraces a long time ago, but I've yet to try out their drinks. And so I did, and I had a Passion Fruit Tea Burst. I have to wait for about 20-30 minutes before my drink is served since the line was pretty long and there were a lot of drinks to be served to the waiting customers.

It was worth the wait, though I was wondering if the crunchy, tarty seeds from the passion fruit are edible. I eventually researched all about it, and it is indeed edible. I finished the drink inside the mall area.

And there's the final part of the event, the Battle Of The Bands. Eleven bands participated in the event, each performing a cover of their chosen anime theme song and either a cover of an OPM song or their own composition. In between the performance, there was an auction of stuffed plushies and other items while waiting for the next band to perform. By the time the eighth or ninth band was about to perform, it was already near the mall's closing time (about fifteen minutes to 10:00 PM).

Despite this, the competition continued until about a quarter past 10:00. The event finished at exactly 10:30 PM. By then, most of the mall's lights are dimmed and only a few restaurants and cafés are open. I got home at around 11:00 PM.

During the two-day event, I only bought a few souvenirs at the event (a couple of button pins on the first day, and a handmade keychain on the second day) since I don’t feel like spending too much, considering the fact that I have a limited budget for the entire weekend.

Regarding my outfit... well, there's a possibility that I might get mistaken for a cosplayer (I wish I was one of them, but...) since my outfits often include black fingerless gloves and the black fleece coat. Some cosplayers wear gauntlets and gloves as part of the [character’s] costume like in the case of Noctis Lucis Caelum of Final Fantasy XV, so there’s no surprise that wearing my black fingerless gloves alone will make them assume that I was actually one of them. A couple of guys asked if they can have a selfie with me, but I politely told them that I’m not a cosplayer... with an awkward smile, of course. Maybe I might reconsider the thought of wearing them again in my future otaku event visits.

They have the photo printing booth where you can have your photos from the event printed for free (I think you have to sign up first), though I never had any of the photos printed, which is a total shame on my part since that would serve as a wonderful remembrance of the event. Aside from that, there were stalls selling various merchandises, mostly anime-related stuff, and some food stalls as well.

There are also workshops too, one of them is the Baybayin Writing Workshop, where one can learn the ancient Filipino writing system. If you notice the unusual writing below the word Ai on the poster, that’s how the Baybayin script looks like.

The event is also helping out charities, mainly Hands Of GOD Charity Works.

That concludes the two-day otaku event, and just like the last time (POF: Danketsu 2017), it was really fun. I had a lot of selfies with the cosplayers and it was really awesome! I’m definitely looking forward to the next POF event, in a larger venue. I’m hoping for the event to be held in either Vertis Tent or The Elements at Eton Centris, but then I wouldn’t mind going as far as MOA Complex just to experience the otaku vibe.

It sure was a really awesome weekend to remember. Until next time!

All pics are taken by yours truly, Keihancarl. Most of the pics are posted to my private Instagram account, @kcox105.