#I miss him everyday it’s like I can still hear him yelling about road signs Sighhh

[widestshoes]

Jschlatt just went live I’ll be busy for the next hour or two

Until I remember I HATE JSCHLATT

[bitchinbarzal]

waiting | R Mcgroarty

summary: song fic for waiting by norah jones

-

Hush now watch the stars fall Into a fire wall

I am waiting here Waiting for you to come home

You stood shivering on the side of the road, wrapped in that foil blanket the firefighters had given you.

You watched with watery eyes as they finally pulled him from the car.

It felt like an out of body experience watching his lifeless body lay in the street before they finally covered it up.

Luca screamed your name from behind the yellow tape until the police let him through, the rest of the team still there watching.

He ran to you, standing infront of you and taking your eyes off Rutger for once this evening.

“Y/N, what’s happened? What’s going on? Are you-“

You mumbled softly “He’s dead… he died Luca, Rut is dead” before dropping the foil blanket to show him your blood stained hands.

He held your shaking hands “It’s gonna be ok”

“He’s gone…”

Melting icy snow l am waiting here, Waiting for you to come home

As the semester carried on, the world continued to spin around you.

You went back to that intersection everyday.

You sat on the bench across from where it happened, you could still hear the tires screeching and the yelling. You can feel that blood soaking your hands when you fired to shake him awake.

You sat at the intersection just hoping he’d roll up to that stop sign and call for you to hop in.

You felt sick.

You’d been feeling sick lately, tired and moody too. The doctor said it wasn’t out with the norm for victims of trauma to suffer these side effects even two months on.

You didn’t like sleeping because it would happen all over again infront of you while you slept.

The boys took turns sleeping on your couch to keep an eye on you. Majority of the time they’d end up in your bed holding you as it was the only way to sleep, when you’d wake up you’d forget for a split second that it wasn’t Rutger holding you.

Those few seconds were the best few seconds in your day.

Now, they were holding back your hair as your projectile vomited into the toilet bowl.

Mark’s hand rubbed small circles in your lower back, coaxing you through “You should see a doctor”

“I did, she said it was fine”

“This” he gestured to you “isn’t fine! This isn’t grief, I mean if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were pregnant”

His comment made your body run stiff “What?”

“I said-“

“I know what you said Mark! What if I’m- I think you’re right” realization settled over your body when you slumped down against his leg to think of your missed periods, sickness, mood changes all were excused as grief.

Your head dropped onto Mark’s knee while you sniffled softly. His hand combed through your hair “You good?”

“I really, really wish you were Rut”

When will I ever learn that If I wait it doesn't mean you will return

You sat in the damp grass with your head leaning onto the side of the stone.

“She thinks you’re a little weird for not coming to the appointments” you commented, shifting to get comfortable “How awkward would it be if I told her where you really were”

It felt weird to joke and not hear his laugh in return.

Sighing, you pull the envelope out of your jacket pocket “find out together, eh?”

“I miss you baby, so much” you start, hands shaking with the envelope in them “This is so scary going through this, I really want to just hold your hand Rut… I’m waiting for you to just come home”

You paused for a moment as if waiting for an answer and when it didn’t come you continued opening the envelope.

“Okay… three, two, one-“ you pulled the paper out, the blue writing confronting you head on.

A tsunami of emotions hit you at once and you began sobbing

“A boy, our boy… your boy, you’re coming home to me Rut”

“Come home”

Now all the stars have gone, cracks of dawn

Towards the end of your pregnancy things got better. You spent less time at the intersection and more time painting his room.

You smiled now which nobody had seen in a long time. You were excited about things and it made everyone so happy.

You called his sister everyday to give updates on babyboy, listening to her as she’d tell the bump stories of his dad.

You also told him stories. The ones where you fell in love, the things you wanted him remembered for.

“Your daddy is the best person ever, but you already know that he’s keeping you safe before he sends you home to me”

I'm waiting here, Waiting for you to come home.

He came early.

The baby wasn’t due in March, he wasn’t due yet.

You panicked, crying for Rutger to hold your hand and sobbing when you realized that wasn’t an option.

“I want Rut!” You cried, squeezing Luca’s hand

“I know, it’s ok”

“It’s not ok! This isn’t-“

Luca pulled your phone off the table and fiddled about with it until he pressed play.

“Hey pretty girl, just calling to check in” it was Rutgers voice, a voicemail he’d left when you were studying late one night “I love you, you can do this! You can do anything”

When his voice stopped you cried “What-“

“You heard him Y/N, you can do it… he trusted you”

You heard his voice the whole night coaxing you through it, you just thought of him.

He finally arrived, perfect and healthy. Like he was right one time. Heaven sent.

Rutger McGroarty Jr

30 March. 06:25am

You held him in your arms, rocking him back and forth.

“You came home to me, you’re finally home… I’ve been waiting for you”

[nxrthmizu]

Crash and Burn

fandom | miraculous ladybug

genre | salt, lila salt

pairing | n/a

w.c | 3.2k

author's note | hey remember that lila salt fic i promised? this isn't it but this is something i made today so yep. please accept this as an apology for yknow. me promising to write and. not doing it.

Enough was enough.

“Marinette, stop accusing Lila! She just wants to make friends!”

“Take the high road.”

“Be a good model student, Marinette.”

Enough. Was. Enough.

Marinette had the connections, the power, the choice to make Lila’s entire world crumble apart. The only thing that stood between the liar’s demise was the tiniest pinch of morality and self-restraint— And no, that self-restraint did not come in the form of Tikki. Even the kwami, who had to be an aggregation of all the good and nice things in the world, was fed up and ready to retaliate.

“What a joke.” Lila cackled, tossing a chunk of her sausage hair over her shoulder flamboyantly. The two girls were in the bathroom, with Lila smirking in front of the sink and Marinette a little distance away from her. “You can make my world crumble? What is this, a threat?”

“A promise.” Marinette corrected. “Stop telling lies. Come clean to every one. No more lying about knowing celebrities left and right, no more making excuses about not being able to take your own notes, no more making up ‘diseases’ just so your life gets a little more convenient. To be frank, I really don’t care what happens to you— But by making these empty promises to introduce my classmates to great ‘celebrities’, you’re ruining their futures. Stop.”

“And what are you going to do if I don’t?” Lila sneered, face twisted into an ugly grin. “You going to cry in front of the class? Try and convince them that I, the one they adore— That I am lying?”

“No.” Marinette’s eyes were clear when she met Lila’s. The clouds of self-doubt that used to hover over the bright, shining star inside her soul had now dissipated, letting the bluenette emit a confident, glowing appearance as she met the liar head on. “I’m just going to keep my promise.”

──────── ⋆⋅❉⋅⋆ ────────

Lila headed off to a modelling shoot after school, pleased at the prospect of spending more time with Adrien. There were a couple tendrils of Marinette’s words hanging behind in her mind— Did the girl mean what she said? Did she actually… Was she actually capable of causing Lila’s downfall? … Surely not. Marinette may have once been the ‘Everyday Ladybug’, but there was no way she was that competent, there was no way the girl was capable of plotting.

The Italian hummed, brushing away thoughts of the annoying bluenette from her mind. She was going on a photoshoot— One that was going cause the rise and burst of her career, the one that was going to make her name a globally-known one. Unfortunately for Lila, her plans were going to be derailed quite soon— In fact, as soon as Gabriel Agreste’s car rolled into the parking lot of the shoot location.

“Explain this, Mlle. Rossi.” Gabriel’s nostrils flared as he pointed to the tabloid article on his tablet. The Italian girl froze, the headlines seared into her eyes, big and black and bold, shooting poison right into the core of her body, paralysing her cell by cell starting from her heart. “What is the meaning of this?”

‘Adrien Agreste Reported To Be Harassed by Fellow Model’— The image under the caption was one that was clearly taken by a hidden photographer. The picture was framed with leafy foliage, which suggested that the camera was tucked up in a tree. Despite the distance, it was quite obvious in the image that Adrien was reeling away, disgusted and uncomfortable as a faceless woman in an orange blazer, back turned to the camera— Invaded his personal space.

The subtitle was the cream on the cupcake.

‘Witnesses State Gabriel Agreste Ignorant of Workplace Harassment’.

──────── ⋆⋅❉⋅⋆ ────────

As if things couldn’t quite go down a worser path, Lila returned home to a fuming mother and an unexpected visitor.

“Lila! You come here right this instant!” The diplomat demanded as soon as the front door opened, her daughter shrinking slightly at the tone and pitch that her mother was using. The last time her mother had been this angry— Well, it was when she got expelled from her last school. “I can’t believe what you’ve done! If it weren’t for your kind classmate, lord knows how long you would’ve continued with this!”

The Italian meekly followed her mother into the living room, eyes widening until they were as large as saucers, mouth agape at the last person she expected to see sitting on the couch.

Marinette smiled kindly, waving at the girl, looking every bit the part of the innocent, pure, kind child that every parent wanted to have. Before Lila could release a torrent of questions about what the hell Marinette Dupain-Cheng was doing in her living room, her mother charged on, beginning to take out her anger on her daughter while a literal angel sat on the sofa, cradling a box of pastries from her family’s bakery.

“Your friend here tells me that you’ve been taking absences from school to go on trips to help humanity!” Mme. Rossi exploded, waving her arms around madly. “She says she’s here to share her notes from the classes you’ve missed! You’ve never left Paris this year! What’s this I hear about flying off to the kingdom of— What was it called again, Marinette dear?”

“Achu.” Provided the bluenette helpfully, the diplomat’s expression instantly softening when she talked to the other teen in the living room.

“Ah, yes. Thank you, dear.” The woman turned back to her daughter, instantly snapping on a mask of anger in a matter of a fraction of a second. “What’s this about flying off to this kingdom of Achu to help homeless orphans with some random prince?”

“Um…” Lila piped up, wriggling as her brain churned at 200 lies per hour, trying to whip up a cover of some sort.

“I’m not done! Your friend here is such a helpful child that she even went as far as to ask her family doctor is there’s a cure for your… Lying disease!” Mme. Rossi practically roared, breathing flames as if she were an intimidating dragon, her daughter flinching away from the heat. “I’ve never heard of anything more ridiculous! And then there’s the fact that you lied to your classmates about having tinnitus?!”

“I actually do have tinnitus!” Lila cut in forcibly, widening her eyes to make herself look more pitiful. “I was just afraid to tell you because I didn’t want you to worry!”

“Bullshit!”

“Um… Sorry to interrupt, Mme. Rossi,” Marinette piped up, the diplomat instantly cooling down as she faced the bluenette, a soft smile tracing the Italian woman’s lips. “But it’s getting rather late and my parents would love me home soon. I also have some tests to revise for tonight, so I think I should get going.”

“Oh, of course, dear.” Mme. Rossi hastily got up to help the bluenette to the door, shooting a warning glare at her daughter— ‘Sit still and don’t you dare go anywhere’, the glare read. “Feel free to come over again anytime you want, dear. I’m not home often, but you are such a sweet child. I’m sure Lila could learn a lot from you.”

“Thanks for having me as well, Mme. Rossi. I really like your home. I left the pastries on the counter— Make sure to warm the curry puffs before you eat them.” Marinette returned the smile, bowing slightly to the older woman as a sign of respect.

“Thank you for the pastries as well, Marinette. I ought to visit your parents’ bakery sometime when I’m free.” Mme. Rossi opened the door kindly for the bluenette, waving the girl off with an affectionate smile. Her parents must be so lucky to have such a sweet little thing like her, Mme. Rossi sighed internally, turning the key so she locked the door. And she seems to be a high-scoring student as well.

──────── ⋆⋅❉⋅⋆ ────────

Lila seethed, having been grounded by her mother. As far as Mme. Rossi was concerned, there was a boarding school not too far away from their current residence, and by the next week, the Italian girl would be transferred over. Lila had never hated Dupain-Cheng as much as she did in that moment.

Still furious, the Italian snapped her laptop open, too angry to bother with the fact she might’ve scratched the surface. Clicking into the web browser, she started to type in the words ‘Ladyblog’— That was, before a news article caught her eye.

‘Jagged Stone Interview Reveals Underage, Obsessed Fan’.

What on Earth…

As soon as Lila clicked into the link, the news footage from the interview immediately begin to play. The date stamp on it showed that it had aired last night— Which meant that she would’ve missed it, since her mother was too busy yelling at her to turn on the television to watch Nadja Chamack’s daily news.

“As soon as I heard this rumour about some underage teenage girl claiming that she had saved my cat on an airport runway, I called Penny and asked her to book a slot for me to clarify this,” Jagged Stone said grimly, dressed in more formal attire as he sat in the comfortable, cushioned chair of the news station, with Nadja nodding equally seriously beside him. “Let me clarify— I’ve never owned a cat. I’m allergic to fur. The only pet I’ve had was Fang, and he’s an al-li-ga-tor. Not a cat. Whatever the girl is claiming, she’s obsessed and making up stories.”

“It’s also kind of bewildering that she saved it on an airport runway,” Nadja continued, shaking her head in disappointment. “That kind of thing only happens in dramas— It’s too dangerous for anyone besides authorised workers to be on airport runways.”

“Right, right!” Jagged agreed instantly. “The whole rumour is just really baffling.”

“M. Jagged, may I ask what kind of effect these rumours have on a celebrities’ career?” Nadja continued, leading the conversation on like a professional.

“Well, rumours that circulate around tend to have really bad effects, and the worse ones can hang around for a long, long time. Tabloids are often spun off from rumours, baseless and with no evidence. Those tabloids will never truly disappear, so they can leave a mark on a celebrity’s reputation as some people will believe anything— Even things they read from un-cited tabloids.”

“That is simply terrible. Have you ever had any cases of rumours created by underaged teens before this?”

“I’ve had quite a number, but none of them really got as big as this one. From what Penny has found from digging around, the teen girl managed to spread the rumour through her school and onto a once-popular blog.” Jagged explained. “Penny has also found out that the same girl has claimed that I’ve written songs for her to thank her for saving my cat! I would never write songs and dedicate them to an underaged girl— Trust me. If I could do such a thing, I’d already have written a dozen in honour of my niece— She’s my favourite designer.”

Nadja smiled at that sentence. “Then—“

The news footage cut off abruptly as Lila slammed her laptop shut, too upset to continue watching.

──────── ⋆⋅❉⋅⋆ ────────

On the other side of Paris, Alya was pacing around her room frantically, wondering why on earth Lila wasn’t picking up on her calls. She’d left at least four dozen messages to the Italian, who was absent from school that day. There had been a couple whispers here and there about why she was missing— Rose had suggested another impromptu trip to Achu.

Lila’s absence wasn’t the weirdest part of the day, however.

That award would go to Marinette, who walked into class with a smile, the slightest sprinkles of delight colouring her bluebell eyes when she spotted Lila’s empty seat.

Growing in frustration, Alya threw herself onto her bed, phone clattering onto the mattress with her. Within the next few minutes, however, her phone suddenly started exploding with notifications. Excited at the prospect of Lila finally texting back, Alya turned on her phone, only to be disappointed by the notifications all clamouring from the class group chat.

Kim had sent a link to the chat— Without hesitation, Alya clicked into it, frowning when she saw Nadja and Jagged appear on the screen. Throughout the interview, the colour on the Ladyblogger’s face only paled by the second until she was as white as a sheet, and if it were halloween at that time, she would’ve won the best costume award for being a ghost.

There must… There must’ve been a mistake.

A notification from Lila’s number made the blogger perk up, instantly clicking into the conversation— But her newfound hope didn’t last very long.

[Lila]

Hi, Alya. This is Lila’s mom. She’s currently grounded right now. Is there anything important you need to tell her?

[Alya]

Oh, nothing much… I just wanted to ask where she was.

[Lila]

She’s at home.

[Alya]

Okay, thanks.

Flopping onto her bed, Alya begin thinking, revising over the past few months like it was an old clip. Lila’s exciting adventures and interactions with celebrities of every kind— Lila going overseas and face timing the entire class— Lila letting her in on the secrets of being Ladybug’s friend…

… Marinette trying to tell them that Lila was lying…

──────── ⋆⋅❉⋅⋆ ────────

The class was awfully silent the next day. Adrien was absent as well— A social worker was looking into his home life as a result of the tabloid that arose. Things for the blonde could either get better or worse from then on, as the matters were still foggy and things hadn’t cleared up yet. The blonde maintained contact with his friends, however, calling and texting them whenever he could.

“Class, settle down.” Mlle. Bustier stepped into the class, looking very tense and uncomfortable. “Today, we will have a guest, so please be on your best behaviours, alright?”

Just as the teacher finished speaking, a tall, regal-looking Italian woman entered the classroom, a cowering principal and a meek-looking Lila in tow. The class brightened slightly at the sight of their friend— But by the way she wasn’t looking into their eyes… Things weren’t going to be good.

“Good morning. I am Mme. Rossi, Lila’s mother.” The woman begin speaking, her firm and no-nonsense tone instantly making every student sit straight, their eyes too afraid to look anywhere else but the Italian diplomat. “It has come to my attention that my daughter has been taking absences from school to do charity work— And I have to clarify that this is a lie. Lila has been doing nothing but holing herself up in her room, lying to me and saying that there are no classes due to akumas.” The Italian diplomat glowered at Damocles. “What’s even more baffling is the fact that neither her homeroom nor the principal bothered to check up with me despite a student having extended periods of absence with no note or email written whatsoever.”

The class was so quiet that they could hear the quiver of Mlle. Bustier’s trembling lip.

“In addition, I’ve been kindly told that Lila has claimed to have a lying disease, which is the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard this week.” It was impossible to miss the way the Italian diplomat was glaring daggers at both Mlle. Bustier and Damocles. “No one bothered to look it up online to see if it’s actual disorder, nor did anyone call me to confirm and ask for a doctor’s note, which is standard procedure.” Chills burst over the room, making every one shiver as the woman hissed out her words.

“Mme. Rossi, we didn’t want to disturb your busy schedule—” Damocles begin, only to be blown backwards from the sheer intensity of Mme. Rossi’s glower.

“M. Damocles, standard procedures exist for a reason. Unless you’d like to tell me about any other things you’ve been letting my daughter get away with?”

“N— No, Mme.”

The Italian diplomat continued on her war path. “My daughter also claimed to have tinnitus, am I correct?”

“Y— Yes, Mme.” Mlle. Bustier answered when it seemed like no one was going to.

“And I heard that the class seating arrangement was shifted to accommodate for that?” The homeroom teacher didn’t dare answer this time, for it seemed like whatever she said would be the incorrect answer. “And apparently, my daughter has also been faking broken wrists and requesting for her classmates to complete her work for her.” Mme. Rossi was practically breathing flames at that point, “And I am incredibly upset at the lack of action from the homeroom teacher.”

No one could breath.

“I have many concerns about the running of this schooling facility, and I expect to discuss this with M. Damocles privately after this. However, there is still something to be done.” Mme. Rossi swept her gaze towards her daughter, who found the floor incredibly interesting at that point of time. “Lila? Something you’d like to say to your classmates?”

“… I’m sorry for lying to you.” Lila mumbled resentfully.

“Louder, Lila. No one can hear you.”

“I’m sorry for lying to you!” Lila swallowed, bursting like an explosion that had finally been triggered, tears in her eyes and fists hatefully curled. “I’m sorry for lying about my diseases and injuries. I’m sorry for making you do my work,” She spat. “Sorry for causing any inconveniences.”

Mme. Rossi raised an eyebrow at her daughter. “Is that all?”

Lila glared at her mother, who was completely unfazed. “Oh, so you want an apology from me? Fine!” She turned to the class, a maniacal glint in her eyes as she sneered at the class, a few gasps puffing from around the room as they caught their first glimpse of the liar that resided in the ‘harmless’ shell of Lila Rossi. “I’m sorry that you are all such idiots that you all fell for everything. I’m sorry that Marinette has such terrible, untrusting classmates that turned their backs on her even though she was still a goody-two shoes till the end, even though she still wanted to help you sorry peasants. I’m sorry that you were all so goddamn gullible! There! Good enough for you?”

Shock was etched into the faces of every human in the classroom— Including Mlle. Bustier, M. Damocles, and Mme. Rossi themselves. Clearly, that part of the apology had not been part of the plan.

“Did I miss something?” Said a sweet voice, followed by the presence of a bluenette, her hair tied in a half-up. A royal blue blazer decorated her lithe form, accompanied by a smart-looking white blouse and a black plaited skirt. Formal had never looked so good on anyone— And if someone didn't know better, they'd think that the bluenette was a young lawyer, emerging victorious from her first successful case.

“Marinette!” Alya exclaimed.

“I’m sorry that you’re such an annoying, little, pest.” Lila bit in the girl’s face, disdain colouring her features as she ignored her mother’s enraged gasp behind her.

The bluenette simply smiled, unaffected by the liar who had crashed and burned like the liar once wished upon her. Marinette Dupain-Cheng stood at her full height, the perfect image of grace and poise as she maintained her composure, quite unlike her nemesis, who thrashed under her mother’s restraining hands.

“And I’m sorry that you didn’t take my promise to heart.”

this can count as adrien redemption depending on you cause ehhh i dont like how passive he is but i havent caught up with the recent episodes, he might have become better. idk.

also where the hell is my miraculous taglist i cant find it so eep. no tagging ppl ig oops

[bnhamixjuice-sfw]

ANON REQUEST: Hawks, Dabi and Aizawa: spot an ex he had a bad break up with, he sees her walking around struggling to hold on to a bag of groceries while pushing a stroller with a toddler in it that looks awful lot like them, and the he awkwardly confronts them when the bag falls out of her hands.

Tags: Manga Spoiler, Mention of cheating, Angst to Fluff.

Hawks

“I’m so sorry Dove, I didn’t mean to–”

“Didn’t mean what? to deny that I’m your girlfriend in front of the media ‘cause you had a job agreement with the commission not to reveal me! okay Keigo you’re doing this for what reason exactly? Hero Reputation? More women you can use to cheat behind my back again and expect me to forgive you? I–I don’t want this kind of life anymore!”, you wailed in pure anguish roughly wriggling your wrist away from his firm clutch.

He felt suffocated when he needed to let you go for all the things that he did to hurt you, holding back the urge to chase you outside when you frantically closed the door, not looking back anymore on him. Leaving the top pro hero falling on his knees, lonely between these four walls of his house.

After all this time he can’t forget you, longing to see your face everywhere he goes even on pro hero awarding events or his usual patrol work with Endeavor looking for you through the crowds, praying to see your smile again that he misses the most.

His life was crumbling apart without you, but luck was on his side today when he spotted you not too far from where he was signing autographs for his fans while stealing some glances. As always, you’re still beautiful standing there.

Trying to fix your grocery bags while clasping the baby-carriage’s handle. He hesitated at first to approach you thinking you’re probably waiting for your husband to pick you up and your child. And that’s when a tuft of yellow hair popped out.

“Mommy look it’s Hawks, Awtoglaph pweasee awtoglapph”, his excited pleas reached Hawks’ ears. pointing his fingers towards your ex-boyfriend who waved a hand on both of you.

Soon red feathers clumped together on the ground, preventing your bag to fall.

“Wow what do we have here, a kid full of energy today, so where do you want me to sign your autograph?”, stooping down beaming a smile with his eyes crinkling behind his yellow visor making your child gasp in awe.

He knew instantly that his suspicion was right seemingly looking at his own reflection with those golden honey orbs and black lines on those eyelids and small bump protruding behind the kid’s shirt, red feathers similar to his, messily cramped inside.

“Ke–Hawks here… ”, almost calling out his first name when you handed him a notebook and a pen.

Slightly feeling his gloved hand against your palm.

“Hawks look I hab wings too–”

“Honey we need to go home now or else you’ll miss your favorite show again, now say bye bye to Mr. Hawks”, you interrupted, sneaking a warning glare on him not to tell him anything before gently freeing your child’s wings out from his shirt’s makeshift holes.

“Little fledgling I guess your wings were moulting, so did your Daddy tell you about it”

“Hab no Dawdy but Oh you see… Mommy Lov’ Dawdy so much that she booboo cries” you were shock-stricken softly hushing your child out of embarassment.

“Well kid make sure to tell your Mommy not to cry okay cause Daddy loves her so much, yes don’t forget to tell that to her every day I–”, he stammered with his voice started cracking, overwhelming him with emotions too easily, swallowing the lump forming on his throat.

“Your father loves you too kid trust me, and surely there’s not a single day he’s not thinking of your Mommy, his only Dove–Ah I think I’m taking too much of your time Miss I-I’m so sorry”, halting it immediately, muffling a few sniffles before finally signing his signature.

Your heart began thumping so loud, not expecting him shamelessly grabbing your hand, burying you into a warm embrace in public.

“Wait Keigo stop this, everyone’s taking so many pictures of you”

“No I don’t care anymore, listen Dove I’m so sorry and I still love you, come back to me please I promise I won’t hurt you again, I’ll do better this time just let me make up for it, and for our son”

You can’t blame yourself for giving in, accepting him wholeheartedly knowing this is what you promised to him once.

To never let your future child experience the same heartache he suffered from his past.

Dabi

He regret those cruel words that came out from his mouth the first time he was too fed up of your constant admonishment of putting a rest on his revenge against his family forever since you cannot bear to see him exhausting his body anymore, starting this heated discourse again between you.

“You always bring this up y/n every single day and it’s too annoying already, why are you siding on Enji too much Babydoll… come on just say it you really want us to have a perfect family, so cool to have a child with this debilitating quirk too right?”

Sucking your inner lips anxiously avoiding to tell him something about that last one, you felt his grip on your sholders constricting furiously waiting for you to answer him back, but your tears spilling from those precious eyes made his stomach churn in guilt realizing what he had done when you began screaming on his face that everything’s over, shoving him away and locking the door of your house shut.

He knew how much of a dick he was, the worst break up that’s been haunting him everyday with your terrified face forever etched on his mind

It’s been a long time since the last time he saw you after you moved from your old house and he cannot find you everywhere until today.

He saw you pushing a stroller on the side of the road and having a hard time balancing the bag of groceries on your other hand.

Perhaps you found someone better than him and additionally having a child; a normal child considering he’s not the father. that’s what he thought until something caught his attention.

Squinting his eyes, he was slack-jawed to find a familiar cerulean orbs and red hair on that young boy giddily calling you Mommy.

He took this rare chance of talking to you again by catching your bag of groceries that you clumsily dropped, your eyes met recognizing your ex-boyfriend instantly when he removed his mask. piercing eyes gazing down below observing your child’s similar features.

“Babydoll why didn’t you tell me about him, our son?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Dabi and refrain from calling me that nickname anymore, also stay away from MY son before I call the police”

You breathed heavily snatching back your grocery bag from his grasp, clutching the stroller’s handle in pure anger.

“Daddy you meanie, go home”, tugging his pants with those tiny hands.

It hurts you to see your own child begging for his father to go home, when you can’t even tell him how you often show his own picture to your child that’s why he recognized his own father easily, keeping him close to his heart and memory forever.

You can’t hate your only child’s father.

He was expecting him to cry on his intimidating face when he bent his knees down to look at his child closely, ignoring your earlier threat by patting his son’s head seemingly accepting this foreign fatherly instinct.

“Kid look I’m obviously a bad guy, I don’t want you to get in trouble so maybe next time when your Mommy allows me, don’t worry I’ll probably see you again next time pepperoni haired kid”, chuckling when he saw his son’s childish pout, letting him pinch his stapled cheeks annoyed at his nickname.

“Y/n this is goodbye then”, flashing you that thin smile noticing his lips quivering a bit as he stood.

Shoving both of his hands inside his pockets before turning around to walk slowly away from both of you ignoring your child’s tantrum cries calling for him to go back.

“Ssh… sweetie don’t cry okay–Wait Touya!”

He stopped on his tracks when you yelled his real name again, like how you used to call him that before out of endearment.

“We’re going to stay here from now on so same address, the usual okay knock thrice and use our anniversary day on pressing the doorbell and don’t forget our password, listen I’m doing this for our child only so you better show up tonight or I won’t ever give you a chance”

He disappeared quickly after that, and tonight he never failed to show up incessantly ringing the doorbell many times even greeting you that typical password; a kiss.

A yearning kiss, hands intertwining the moment you opened your heart once again.

Aizawa

“Shouta you keep missing my calls these past few weeks when I needed you the most, you barely have enough time to visit me when I was sick the whole week and now you’re late, fine I don’t wanna hear your excuses anymore”

Those bitter words pierced him like thorns, seeing you slip out that engagement ring from your finger and placing it on a table whispering those bitter words he doesn’t want to hear from you.

“It’s better if we end this relationship now before we regret something, I–I can’t imagine my future being married with you or even having a child with you who pathetically seek for time and attention from his workaholic father, sorry Shouta”, you covered your mouth trying to bite back your tongue from spilling about your unborn child.

Running outside the restaurant leaving him heartbroken that he can’t further speak out his words anymore because everything that you just told him was painfully true.

He doesn’t deserve you, blaming himself for not appreciating you enough despite of your effort of enduring the hardships of having a pro hero fiance who often risk his life for his students. A man who can’t even spend a time to take care of you.

Nevertheless, he wanted to mend back those strings that binds you to his heart, always pouring out his loneliness on visiting that Cat Cafe on his day off every week reminding him of memories you two share.

You often take him there to spend a date knowing he’s fond of cats and snapping lots of photos of him every time he ends up sleeping on the corner with cats huddling close to his face nearly suffocating him.

Keeping your engagement ring to him all the time was the only thing that calms him down whenever he’s in dire situation on his job, thinking how much he wish to meet you here again.

Unbelievably seeing you again one time, rubbing his weary eyes once and twice to know if it’s truly you. Indeed, he can’t forget that familiar caring smile of his beloved, finding you outside the cat cafe currently having a problem of organizing your bag of groceries.

“Mawmmy, neko pweasee I wanna touch it!”, your daughter began whinning clapping his hands to get your attention.

He can’t believe his own eyes when your child resembles him too much with that obsidian dull eyes and sleek black hair minus for that pigtail hairstyle but that scowl seems a carbon copy of his own.

“Wait Baby I–”

“I think you need help Y/n”

You were flabbergasted to find your ex-fiance taking a hold of your bag of groceries with his whip that was about to hit the ground and voluntarily offering his Neko tote bag for you which you persuaded him not to.

“Mawmmy pwease I want that too, Neko”, her tiny hands reaching out determined to get it no matter what.

“Baby no–”

“Well your daughter love cats so much, you can give this to her, please just a friendly gift”, taking out something from his pocket leaning down a bit to his side to rummage on that keychain, letting you see his necklace around his neck with that old engagement ring of yours dangling.

“Found it, here kid I’m not sure if you’ll like this”

“Aww Mawmmy have that too um…right Mawmmy, so no thanks Mister”

There’s no way you were married that’s what Shouta suspected when he saw you not wearing any ring, and obviously that cat keychain was closely similar to his anniversary keychain that you two bought for each other.

“Y/n I can drive you two back to your house if its okay–”

“Mawmmy please say yes”

You sighed in defeat not having a choice in the first place and also giving freedom to your child to spend time with her father who doesn’t know about this.

His car was still the same, sitting beside him and your child now sleeping behind after getting so tired ogling on his car’s cat accesories.

You chuckled upon seeing your daughter’s face on the mirror messily drooling, leaning slightly on your side to wipe the corner of her mouth.

“Darling is she our daughter”

“Eyes on the road Shouta, and yes so what will you do about it. Do you expect me to ask for any financial support from you oh maybe spending your precious time for our daughter that I can’t even get from you years ago”, you sarcastically uttered, stabbing him rudely with those truthful words he was unprepared to hear from you.

“I understand if you’re still mad at me y/n, but I just want you to let you know that I want to set things right first before asking you to forgive me. Because I don’t want to miss this opportunity again to tell you how much I wanted to talk to you or maybe to see you in your white wedding dress”

You can’t resist how determined he was to get close to you again, feeling his hand slowly making its way on you.

Giving back that engagement ring to whom it truly belongs, and that was you, a dream he wanted to come true despite it being too impossible.

Turning your head away to wipe your own tears, proposing for the second time that you have been waiting to hear from him all along.

“She’s your daughter Shouta and don’t you dare make her cry of I’ll scratch your face harder than what your cat does”

“That’s too kind of you, I mean my cat misses your deadly belly rub too, you named him Mr. Pickles right, well I’m sure he’d be thrilled to see his Mom again and his new sibling soon”,

You both exchanged soft giggling catching up on one another by starting the conversation about your lives and so on and so forth, and apparently your child was eavesdropping on both of you.

Your daughter muffled a “Pro hero mission success” after accomplishing her goal, peeking a bit to see you wearing that shiny ring.

She knew it the first time she saw that stranger recognizing him from one of the picture you often place under your pillow, her daddy.

Well she did inherit Shouta’s intellectual skills after all.

Do not repost this fic/headcanon.

Disclaimer: I don't own My hero academia nor its characters and plot.

[aenxiome]

Chapter 3: Suck it up Fenton

The rest of the day ended up being lackluster.

In the beginning, things were going well, seating assignments had been changed, and more teachers roamed the halls during and between classes. Unfortunately, the changes aren't going to last. While teachers were punishing students for bad behavior, it wasn't always the ones who did the deed that got punished. It is almost like the trouble makers started rapidly evolving. Many of the A-List target students got detention, with their reflective bully doing a whole 180 when a teacher showed up. Thankfully I managed not to get detention for a second day and a row, but that may be from Dash getting in trouble earlier today.

I may be giving my classmates more credit than they are worth, though. Before today, none of the teachers ever monitored the events in the hallways—giving everyone free rein to do what they wished without any consequences. This isn't anyone evolving. This is their way of getting around the new, hopefully, standards that they are trying to implement. If things continue to go this way, the A-Lists and others are just going to become less subtle in their actions. Not that I expect them to be able to pull it off in the end, but the new arrangement might cause even more issues.

'Great going Fenton, you just screwed everyone, I tell myself. Not everyone can handle themselves as well as you can. This is going to mean so much trouble. But, I try to look on the bright side, thinking about Astronomy. I got some papers back today, full credit on my star chart, though that's pretty much expected of me at this point. So not too surprising. Hopefully, other classes will improve with the seating arrangements being changed, but there is no way of telling if they truly will.

Once classes were over and done with, I met up Sam and Tucker at the Nasty Burger. The restaurant is just starting to get busy with the constant incoming groups of students coming through the door. Thankfully we can claim our regular booth and put in an order for food. " So, how did your guys' day go?" Tucker asks, fiddling with one of his newer PDAs. He goes through PDAs as Dad goes through fudge, a lot of them and all the time. Sam and I just shrug in response and continue the conversation going through some random small talk.

In the middle of our conversation, Tucker suddenly goes still and stares at the PDA. He shoves the device in front of Sam's face making her read whatever has grabbed his attention. Once she is done looking at whatever it is, she and Tucker make eye contact conveying something to each other that I am unable to make out. Sam starts to say something but is interrupted by our food arriving.

"Danny," Tucker says as I shove fries into my mouth, " what happened last night?" I give him a questioning look. Sam slides over the PDA it is showing a local news article. The headline, "MORE DESTRUCTION IN AMITY," is plastered at the top. Below it shows a picture of a destroyed abandoned lot, the same lot from the fight with Skulker earlier this morning.

MORE DESTRUCTION IN AMITY

by Charisma Lynn

This morning residents of this local neighborhood woke up to the remains of another ghost fight. All around the grounds, traces of the battle can be found. Burn marks cover the ground in many areas showing the intensity of the fight. When officials first got on the scene, they found a couple of abnormalities not commonly seen. In a couple of different places, shattered pieces of ghostly green energy can be found. At first appearance, the pieces look like stained glass, but after the first contact turns into a gooey substance. Residents are being told not to worry as the substance is completely harmless but to still take caution. Along with the glass-like substance is a frozen piece of the ground. Even in the sunlight, the spot has shown no difference and is as hard as a rock. Out of the earth is a broken piece of ice. So far, we are unable to tell where the ice has come from, but our best guess is from some kind of ghostly interference. Many residents of the neighborhood have to ask where Phantom was? Was he part of the destruction, or is there a new ghost in town? Find out more tonight at 6 on APC.

I look up from the article to see Sam and Tucker staring at me. I shove more unsalted fries into my mouth. Did you know salt is a natural ghost repellent I, unfortunately, learned that the hard way. Never again. I finish chewing before reassuring them, " Guys, it's fine it was just a typical ghost fight." Tucker starts on his food apparently satisfied with my answer while Sam looks like she is getting ready to argue, but I interject before she gets the chance.

" It was just Skulker, it wasn't anything too bad" the mixture of "too bad" and Skulker grabs Tucker's attention once again. With him too now giving me a critiquing look over. " Are you sure dude? You aren't hurt anywhere are you?" His voice started to become a little bit frantic as he says, "Because Im not going to the hospital. Sorry but that's where I draw the line."

" Okay, but that doesn't explain what's up with the ice spot and glassy thingy," Sam says, bringing us back to the point of the conversation. " Not now," I tell them. I glance around the crowded room before looking back to them, "not here."

They look as if they are preparing to argue as I whisper, " in private." I get a couple of questioning looks as I continue, " Theres' too many people that could overhear" With the promise to talk about it later, our meal went back to everyday small talk and griping about whatever else is bothering us.

Thankfully they let it go. For now, at least.

We finish up our meal and leave the restaurant, then start on down the road. "So," Sam asks, looking in my direction, " where exactly are we going? Your place?" I start to agree but get cut off by Tucker, " We should go to the lot." I give him a questioning glance. He continues his thought, saying, " The picture in the article doesn't show much, and you never know the media could be over-exaggerating again."

"Why not," Sam says with the tone of excitement in her voice, " sounds like fun." I stop walking as I think it over. Before I can say anything, the two of them rush off ahead in the direction of the lot while a feeling of dread overtakes me. "Guys," I call out to them, trying to catch back up, " I don't think this is a good idea." I tell them in a rush, "I will tell you about it when we get to my place. We don't need to go there." Sam narrows her eyes at me before saying, "you're hiding something."

" No, that's not it," I wring my hands in my shirt, unsure of how to proceed. She doesn't let up with her glare at my words. Sam sighs and comes towards me, grabs my arm, and pulls me along with her. I try to pull myself away without hurting her, but I just can't seem to do it. Finally, I become resigned and hesitantly follow without protest.

Didn't they read the same article that I did? It says authorities looked at the lot. They would have had to call ghost experts. Who is to say that they still aren't there? What are we going to say if the Guys In White stuck around? Or even worse, my parents.

When we arrive, the lot is empty, only showing past signs of anyone having been here. The three of us cautiously walk towards the destruction. Next to me, I hear Tucker gasp before saying, "Oh my…" he stops himself before saying anything else. Sam isn't much better putting her hand around my arm in a vice grip.

Before them stands the evidence of one of my fights. In the daylight, the damage looks worse than it did under the moon, making me feel even worse about our actions than I already do. The ground doesn't look so much burned but scorched. As if a fire had burned away its beauty and left a hot steaming pile of muck in its place.

The few trees that line the property have missing limbs that have either splintered or lie on the ground. Shards of ectoplasm are scattered around in the grass, waiting for an unsuspecting human to fall victim to its goo or a ghost to impale its self on its sharp edges. In the middle of it, all is the spikey ice collum surrounded by the frozen frosty ground.

" So they under exaggerated this time," Tucker said, trying to bring humor to the situation, " who would have guessed." I look away from them, ashamed. " It didn't look this bad at night," I say softly, " It didn't" Unable to meet their eyes, I walk forward towards the Ice. Sam and Tucker tell me not to touch anything that I don't know where it comes from As I get near it. I ignore them and put my hand on the side of the spike. Even in human form, I am still unable to feel any of its coldness. It feels just as warm as the air around us, a little moist but not cold.

Sam and Tucker, at some point, walk towards the spike and join me at my side while I inspect the spike. " What does it feel like to you?" I ask. " Dude, it's Ice, it's cold. What else is it supposed to feel like?" I continue to glide my hand over the ice while telling them to humor me. I watch as they put their hands onto the ice, and as soon as they touch it, their hands go flying away from it. They both hold their hand as if something is attacking them. "Danny, how can you touch that!" Sam exclaims, " that stuff is freezing!"

" It feels warm to me," I tell them nonchalantly as if this is an everyday occurrence. " Danny, this isn't normal," Sam says in a worried tone. I don't say anything in response, knowing that this isn't normal for human beings, not at all. Instead, I stare at the ice, trying to figure out how to fix it, when suddenly, an idea comes to my head. I look towards them and hum to catch their attention, "Hey, do you think you can back up for a second? I have something I want to try."

As soon as they are far away enough, I check and double-check that no one is around. Before going forward on my idea, I yell to Tucker, " Tuck, can you check for cameras and stuff first?" He pulls out his PDA and tells me, " No problem with 'Simone' I'll know if anything is there in a jiffy." I wait a second until I hear him give the okay and start my attempt.

My eyes start to glow an icy ethereal blue as I stand before the spike and tap into my ice core. I can feel the cold rushing through me and out to my surroundings. In my presence, the spike starts to repair itself as I let my core come to the surface. In the middle of the spike, I can feel a connection to myself, its ectoplasmic connection to myself. Instead of pushing the ice out, I pull it in, and before my eyes, the ice starts to melt. Instead of shattering like before, it slowly becomes raw energy becoming a blue-white blob.

I gather as much energy as I can from the earth, defrosting it and adding it to the rest of the blob. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding when all of the ice finished melting. I look around the lot for the scorched places, instinctively knowing what to do. I melt the icy ectoplasmic blob even more into water and send it around to saturate the ruined earth. When the ecto-water hits the ground, the earth lets out a satisfying hiss. The ground looks as if it has partially recovered, making it look like months have gone by instead of only a few hours since the initial conflict. Slowly I let go of my core, letting my eyes go back to their normal human hue. A smile comes to my face at my accomplishment, and I look over at Sam and Tucker. They are both staring at me with huge eyes with different emotions flashing through them: amazement, surprise, and wonder.

I go to take a step towards them when the world starts to spin. I feel myself stumble forward. " Danny!" I hear my name called out in fear and a rushing of feet coming to me. A wave of nausea hits me hard, and I lose my balance falling forward. Luckily Sam is just close enough for me to fall onto. "Danny," I hear my name called out again, " oh my gosh, are you okay?" Feeling too weak to answer, all I can do is groan.

" What are we going to do?" I hear Tucker ask Sam frantically, " we can make it to his place from here, and both of our houses are on the other side of town." The two of them keep coming up with ideas that won't work to get us out of the lot. I try to interject but just moving my mouth causes me pain.

Finally, I manage to groan out a name, "Jazz," but they don't seem to hear me. I try again, a bit louder this time, "Jazz," Sam stops talking, and when Tucker doesn't, I listen to her hit him in the back of the head. "Hey, what was that for" he complains, "Shush, Danny said something." With the raging quiet for the last time, I groan, "Jazz."

A quick vague phone call later and give or take a few minutes, Jazzs' car pulls up, and they give a sigh of relief. I hear a door slam and a worried Jazz making her way over. When she gets to us, I try to look up at her and grab her attention, but I am unable to reach her eyes. " What happened" She interrogated as she crouches down to take hold of me. I feel fatigued and start to lose track of the conversation. The next thing I know, someone has picked me up, and I'm in the car. I feel at ease with the motion of the car as we race home. It doesn't take long for me to close my eyes and fall asleep.

When I come to, I'm staring at the old stick-on stars that are attached to my bedroom ceiling. I cautiously sit up, feeling the strain of an invisible muscle, my core, in my chest. My sister and friends are spread out in the room, passed out exhausted. I glance at the clock next to my bed and read the time 3:18 AM. I try to get up from the bed, but I tumble down onto the floor. The sound wakes up Jazz, making her spring into action, helping me back up. "Hey," she whispers, "don't move too fast. You are still recovering."

I wince a little at the movement. Once she gets me steady, I whisper, "Can you help me get to the bathroom." She nods and carefully helps me to the bathroom. Once everything is situated, Jazz brings me back to my room and helps me onto the bed. I scoot over, making enough room for her to join me, which she quickly accepts.

"They told me what happened at the lot," she says, motioning towards my friends, " What were you thinking trying something like that?" She admonishes. I snuggle into her, getting comfortable before starting my defense, " I was just trying to clean up the mess we make," With a look, I explain further, " Skulker and I fought there last night. It went a little longer than expected. I didn't realize that we made such a mess."

"What about the ice," she inquires. I give half a shrug, " It was unexpected; I don't know how it happened." I tell her truthfully, " I plan to go visit Frostbite this weekend and see if he knows anything." She starts raking her hand through my hair then continues the conversation, " They said you got rid of the ice and fixed part of the ground? They didn't explain it too well. Care to elaborate?"

"It's weird. I just kind of knew how to do it. It was like…." I trail off, not liking the word I need to use. Jazz, unfortunately, knew where to pick up at, "Instinct?" She questions, with my silence being the only acknowledgment she needs. She sighs before saying, "It's okay, you know, to admit it." We lay there for a while before I decide to respond, " I can't." I react in denial, " If I acknowledge it, then it makes it true." Jazz lets out a breathy laugh at that, " So, what if you don't talk about it? It's going to go away?"

" I wish," I mumble, "It's just if I talk about it, then it becomes more real. I can pretend to be normal." She scoffs at my response, " Normal is overrated anyway." I let out a yawn and looked over at the time 4:03 AM. " Can we talk about this later? It's late." She lets out a yawn of her own, having caught mine before saying accusingly, " You just don't want to talk about it." I don't deny her accusation but put some more distance between the two of us and painfully turn over.

What does she want me to tell her? That I feel drawn to go to Ghost Zone? That I like laying around in my ghost form? I can get away with feeling like me under the stars and use insomnia as an excuse, but there is no way to explain anything else. If I told her some of these things, it would just be more of a confirmation of what I already know: I'm a freak.

" Good night, Jazz."

"Good night, little brother."

[athenasbloodyspear]

Say Something to Stop Me: Chapter 4

Writing Master List | Say Something to Stop Me Master List

Please note: This fic describes depression, anxiety, panic attacks, past/referenced non con and domestic violence. Please read at your own discretion.

The drive to the dive bar down the road from the compound was short. Well, it was short when Bucky was definitely driving 100 miles an hour.

Your hair whipped in the wind behind you and you could feel the deep rumble of the bike underneath you.

“I didn’t think you’d be this scared.” Bucky yelled over the sound of the engine and the wind. “C’mon Doll. Open your eyes.”

You peeled your face away from his shoulder blades and opened your eyes. If you were being honest with yourself, you hadn’t kept your face buried in his back because you were scared. He just smelled so goddamn good. Like leather and spice. Clean. It had felt nice, to just feel the wind and him.

Now that your eyes were open however, you realized how gorgeous the tree lined road looked right now. It was just at the beginning of fall and the leaves had started to change into brilliant reds, oranges and yellows.

“Wow…” you muttered. The wind tore the words away as you breathed in the crisp air and looked all around you. “It’s gorgeous.”

You looked forward again and caught Bucky glancing at you over his shoulder. “Yeah. It is.” He murmured back. Just loud enough to be heard over the engine and the wind.

Bucky shifted the engine down as you approached the little dive bar that was tucked back in the woods. You hadn’t been here in over two years, but it was still exactly as you remembered it. Dilapidated old sign out front, mostly motorcycles and old pick-up trucks in the parking lot. There were a few groups of men standing outside smoking cigarettes.

Bucky pulled into the dirt lot and found a spot to park his bike. You stepped off, surprised at how your legs felt slightly like jelly after being wrapped around that rumbling machine for a while.

The men smoking outside the bar all seemed to be looking your way. Some discreetly, some openly staring at the two of you. Did they recognize you? You supposed two Avengers at the bar down the street from the compound were probably pretty recognizable. You resisted the urge to run your fingers through your hair self consciously. Who cares what these random men thought of your tousled hair, right?

Bucky stepped off the bike and threw his arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his side. “Alright little lady, lets get some grub.”

He steered you straight through the crowd of smoke and men and opened the front door for you.

“Thanks” you mumbled and stepped into the dim light of the bar.

It smelled like stale cigarettes and old beer. There were pool tables to your right, and some low tables to your left with booths lining the left wall. Straight in front of you was a long wooden bar with two incredible beefy and tattooed men as bartenders. A jukebox near the back wall was playing old 70’s music. You loved it instantly. You took a deep breath in through your nose, relishing in the old school grunge of it all.

You walked toward a booth in the corner of the bar that had a good view of the door. You knew it was unlikely that anyone would try to attack the both of you at a bar down the road from your own compound, but you had a hard time feeling comfortable in public spaces unless you could see all the entrances and exits. You knew Bucky would feel the same.

You slid into the booth and grabbed one of the dirty menus that was tucked between the ketchup and mustard bottles on the table. Bucky slid into his seat across from you and pulled off his jacket. It was a damn shame that you couldn’t see his shirt rise up again from this angle.

“I’m going to order probably three burgers.” Bucky said “I’m starved after that giant beat the crap out of me this morning.”

You chuckled. “Yeah, he was so busy telling me about which members of the court had been keeping secret love affairs this afternoon I never got lunch.”

Bucky laughed “That’s right! How did face masks with the demi-god go this afternoon?”

“It was great.” You smiled. “I missed him.” You looked up from the menu and saw that Bucky was staring at you with a soft, almost melancholy smile on his face. “What?”

“Nothing. It’s just nice to see you smile like that again. I’m a little jealous that the giant brute is the one who made you smile, but I’d let him beat the shit out of me every day if that’s what it took to see you light up again.” Bucky said this so casually, grabbing a menu to look at it, but your heart skipped several beats.

Bucky? Jealous? Of Thor??

“I mean, I wouldn’t complain if I had to watch the two of you go at it everyday.” You really wouldn’t. Seeing Bucky fight did have a strange effect on you. He was always so confident in his movements, never second guessing a punch or a dodge. Plus there was the bonus of seeing him all sweaty and panting. It really did something to you, not that you’d admit it out loud.

“Yeah. I bet you wouldn’t.” Bucky looked at you over the top of his menu and winked.

Again, what was it with every fucking room you were in together and it getting about 20 degrees warmer when he looked at you?

You forced your eyes back down the menu. You decided you’d get a burger too, and a side of fries, and maybe a beer. You plopped the menu down and looked around the bar. You took your jacket off as well. Your body temperature had risen and the last thing you wanted was to start noticeably sweating right now.

Bucky plopped his menu down too and folded his hands on the table top. You kept looking around the bar. You were still warm from his admission and couldn’t muster up the strength to look him in the eye.

“I missed you.” Bucky says suddenly. You whip your head toward him.

“You did?”

“Of course I did, you brat. I told you before. I had a lot of fun in Budapest. Going to those bars and sitting along the river. It had been a while since I had just enjoyed being somewhere without looking over my shoulder.” You flushed again. How could he sit there so calmly and say something like that to you? Did he know how hard your heart was beating in your chest? “Then I didn’t hear from you for a while. It freaked me out, you know? I started to wonder if I had imagined that whole trip.”

“Oh fuck, Bucky. No it was great. I had a really great time too. I’m sorry. When I got back things kinda… well shit hit the fan I guess…”

You got cut off by one of the large tattooed bartenders approaching your table. You turned to look at him, but Bucky’s eyes stayed on you.

“What can I get ya?” The bartender grunted.

“Um hey. Yeah. Can I get a double cheeseburger, a large order of fries and whatever lager you guys have on tap?”

The bartender just grunted again, scribbling on a tiny notepad. “And you?”

“Can I get three bacon cheeseburgers, a large order of onion rings and a jack and coke?” Bucky still hadn’t taken his eyes off you while he ordered. You were looking at the table, having a hard time looking him in the eye, but you could see him staring at you out of your peripheral vision.

The bartender grunted again as he walked away, seemingly undisturbed by the fact that Bucky had just ordered three whole cheeseburgers to himself. Maybe Bucky came here a lot and he was used to it? Your chest pinched a bit at the thought that you didn’t know if Bucky came here a lot or not.

“So, shit hit the fan?” Bucky prompted. You looked back up at him.

“Uh. Yeah. I came home to kind of a rough situation. I uh… didn’t handle it well. Then I was just sort of embarrassed and didn’t want to talk to anyone about it. I think I created a negative feedback loop for myself. The more I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it, the more I pushed myself away from you all and then I felt even less comfortable trying to talk to anyone.”

“I get it.” Bucky said. Finally pulling his eyes from you to glance around the bar. “I wasn’t exactly great at talking about things when I first got here either, you know.”

You tilted your head a bit as you stared at his profile. The soft colored light coming from the many neon beer signs hung above the bar cast shadows across his jaw and cheekbones. He looked like a greek god, or something out of an old movie from the 70’s. Maybe both.

You really thought about it then. Bucky was right. He had been pretty quiet and reserved when he had first gotten here, almost like he didn’t trust himself to speak in front of others. When he’d come back from Wakanda he had been a little more peaceful and talkative, but it had taken a few months for him to really open up.

When you two had been in Budapest was when you finally got to know more about him on a deeper level than before. It had been the first time that you had been on an extended mission just the two of you. A month, sharing a little safe house in a busy neighborhood of Budapest, tracking a few operatives for Tony. It was a little overkill to have you both there, but Steve had insisted it would be safer for both of you to be there since they didn’t have anywhere else to send people at the moment.

For a month you two had spent your afternoons tailing people around the city and your evenings sipping unicum while sitting at cafes along the river. You had talked about nearly everything under the sun. He had told you about his time in Wakanda, tending goats and reading every novel he could get his hands on. You had laughed at the thought of Bucky taking care of goats everyday, but he had said it was nice to get away from the world and just focus on taking care of something else for a change.

You had told him about how you started at SHIELD as a low level agent and filled in the holes of what he knew about your promotions and being added to the team. You’d commiserated about how painful the serum transition was, and how much you both loved that stubborn stick-in-the-mud Steve. He’d told you about when they were kids growing up in Brooklyn, about him being drafted for the war. He’d never enlisted because he didn’t want Steve to be left behind, but he was drafted anyway. (Steve still had no idea he hadn’t made the choice himself.) He told you about the adventures of the Howling Commandos and he even spoke a bit about his time with Hydra.

“I know, Buck.” You sighed, dropping your eyes to look at your hands. You started picking at your cuticles to keep your hands from shaking. You felt a small twinge in your stomach. Bucky had been so open with you in Budapest. Something he rarely was with anyone, and you hadn’t been in return.

“Why didn’t you tell me about him?” Bucky murmured. You glanced back up at him. He was looking at you again. He didn’t have an ounce of judgement in his eyes. He was just there, allowing you space to be honest with him. Your heart clenched in your chest.

“He didn’t want anything to do with the Avengers.” You sighed finally. Your blood was rushing in your ears, it felt like a panic attack was coming on but you had a deep desire to finally say this to him. He had been so patient and honest with you, it was time to return it. “He hated you. All of you. So much. When I had first been moved to work more directly with the team was the first time that we got into a fight. Like a real fight.”

Bucky shifted a bit in his seat across from you, but stayed silent.

You continued. “He was always angry with me whenever I brought you guys up. Always saying things about how you were all superhuman and didn’t know how to be normal people. That you were all just meatheads with hero complexes. Whenever we would argue and I would happen to slip up and mention one of you he would lose his mind. Just screaming at me to stop comparing him to you ‘freaks.’” You took a deep breath. “So I just started to hide shit from him. When I kept getting promoted, I just told him it was in a different department, that I wasn’t working with the Avengers anymore. He never really asked about work anyway so it wasn’t that hard to keep it a secret.”

You glanced up at Bucky then. He wasn’t looking at you anymore, he was staring out across the bar with his jaw tightly clenched. His hands were fisted where they rested on the table.

“How long were you together?” Bucky asked through clenched teeth.

“My whole adult life.” He looked at you again, the smallest amount of surprise on his face. “We met in highschool. We were just friends until I went to college. He had just showed up at my dorm one day at Harvard and told me that he couldn’t stand the thought of me being with anyone else. We had been dating ever since. Right before I joined the Avengers as a full fledged team member he proposed and we moved in together.”

Bucky hummed in response to that information, tearing his eyes from you to look back over the bar. “So, why didn’t anyone know this?”

“Tony knew.” You responded. “Well… he knew enough. That I was with someone who wanted to be kept away from the world of SHIELD. I didn’t really tell anyone else because I knew if he found out that I talked about him to any of you he would lose his mind. It just kinda… got away from me I guess. One little secret or half truth just kept piling together until it felt like I was living a double life.”

It was silent for a moment. Your heart was pounding in your chest, but you were still breathing. That was a good sign. “I’m really sorry Bucky. I never meant to hurt you or keep anything from you--”

“Stop.” Bucky cut you off, looking you directly in the eye again. It felt like he was looking at the very core of your being. “Never ever apologize to me for that. It wasn’t your fault. You were just trying to protect yourself.”

“Bucky… I--” you started, but you were cut off by the bartender returning with a tray loaded with food. He dropped all your food and drinks at the center of the table with a grunt and walked away.

Bucky reached across the table to squeeze your hand once. “Thank you for telling me.” He grabbed his first burger and dug in. You smiled at him across the table. Your heart squeezed again in your chest. He always knew exactly how to make you feel safe, how far he could push you without hurting you. It was amazing how light and warm you felt around him.

He looked up from his burger and mumbled “What?” through a mouthful of food. You dropped your head back and laughed. A real, warm laugh that bubbled up through your chest. You looked at him again and saw him break into a wide grin, his whole face lit up as his eyes scanned your face.

“Nothing, Buck. I’m just really happy I’m here.” You said as you picked up your burger to finally take a bite.

He swallowed and looked at you for a long moment before saying “I’m really happy you’re here too.”

~0~

You woke up the next morning feeling more refreshed than you had in a really long time. You stretched and smiled up at the ceiling, thinking over the night before.

You and Bucky had spent the rest of your meal chatting and laughing and enjoying each other's company. Bucky filled you in on some missions that had happened while you were away and told you about all the different books he’d read lately. You gave him a highlight reel of Asgardian court drama. He had the most intoxicating laugh. When you really got him going, his nose scrunched up a bit while he giggled and it made your heart flip in your chest.

Suddenly, Friday’s lilt broke through the fog of your daydreaming about Bucky’s smile above you, his chain dangling down from his chest…

“Tony is on his way to your room to discuss something. I thought you may want to get dressed before he arrives. You have approximately 3 minutes before he steps off the elevator on this floor.”

You groaned and shoved your face into your pillow. Both at the direction your thoughts had involuntarily turned, and Friday’s interruption of a wonderful daydream. “Thank you.”

You quickly rushed to your closet to throw on some sweats. You had just stepped back into your room when there was a knock on your door. “It’s open!” You called.

Tony swung open the door and leaned against the door frame “Morning kid.”

“Morning Dad. ” You chuckled, walking over to stand in front of Tony, crossing your arms over your chest. “To what do I owe this early morning honor?”

“First of all, I am not nearly old enough to be your father. Second, you up for a mission? We got a big one. Gonna need a whole team.”

You nearly jumped up and down with joy. Hell yeah you wanted to go on a mission. “First, you may not be old enough, but you and Steve definitely act like my fathers. And second, I thought you’d never ask.”

“Hey” Tony pointed at you. “Captain Righteous is nearly a hundred. He’s at least old enough to be your dad.” You cackled. “Alright suit up and meet us in the conference room. We’re gonna go over the plan and send you all on your way.”

“Right on. Who’s all on board?”

“Flappy bird, megatron, the queen of hearts, Mr. Righteous himself and Archie.”

You laughed out loud again. “Jesus Tony you’re snappy this morning. And you dragged Clint away from home? This must be a big job.”

“I just needed a sharpshooter on the outside to help Sam. It’s a tall building so cover up in the air is gonna be important.” He turned and sauntered back toward the elevator “You got eight minutes to be downstairs kiddo.”

“Aye aye Captain.” You called, turning to rush back to your closet to suit up. You heard Tony yell “I resent that title!” from the hall.

~0~

You hauled ass back down to the conference room, strapping knives to your thighs and guns to your hips as you went. You were in your signature tight kevlar black suit, with a cross body harness around your back with an M429 strapped across your back. You had a glock on both hips and a huge stash of ammo strapped across your chest.

It felt… amazing. It had been so long since you had suited up for real. You felt powerful. No one could touch you when you were dressed like this.

You stepped into the conference room. Just as Tony said, Sam, Bucky, Nat, Cap and Clint were already there, armed to the teeth and ready to rumble.

Clint called out when you stepped in the room “Hey! Long time no see superstar!”

You giggled. “Hey Clint.” You glanced around the room again. Bucky, in his usual mission armor of a thick kevlar jacket and combat pants, was sitting all the way across the room. Combat boots propped up on the conference table, leaning back in his chair.

He didn’t seem to be aware of the way that his eyes were scanning up and down your body, his tongue darted out of his mouth to wet his bottom lip before his eyes caught yours. He flinched slightly, like he had been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. You smirked at him and saluted before plopping down in the chair at the end of the conference table, adjusting the gun strapped to your back slightly so you could lean back in your chair.

Someone had to be turning up the heat in the compound. Why were you always so fucking hot?

“Alright assholes, here’s the plan. There’s a rumor that there’s some Hydra intel being passed around by a group of high class drug dealers in Croatia.” Tony started off. “And I need you to infiltrate their building and get it.”

“Drug dealers, Tony? You’re sending all of us after some dudes slinging cocaine?” Clint piped up from his spot to Tony’s left. “I am not missing my kids T-ball game for this.”

“Due to how loaded these dudes are, I don’t think cocaine is all they trade Clint. Plus, the building we need you to get in is a skyscraper that’s about 40 stories high and I need you in an adjacent building for cover.”

Tony then proceeded to cover the plan. Sam and Clint would offer cover from the air and nearby buildings. You and Bucky would be a battering team on the inside, clearing a path for Natasha and Steve to get to the main computer mainframe on the top floor. Then, you all would repel down the side of the skyscraper to a nearby helipad where the quinjet would be waiting for you. It was a relatively simple extraction, but Tony had a premonition that the place would be heavily guarded and well equipped.

“Get in, and get out. I’m not overly concerned with the status of any of the dudes in there. Kill if you have to, but don’t worry about bringing every one of them down. I’m more interested in whatever they have on their mainframe that’s making them guard it so heavily. Okay?” Tony finished.

Everyone nodded their affirmatives.

“See you tonight.” Tony remarked as he stepped out of the room.

“Alright everyone, grab whatever else you need. Meet on the jet in five.” Cap said, standing to walk towards the jet to prep for take off.

You all stood and began walking out the back doors to the landing pad where the jet was currently parked, all fueled and ready for your mission. No doubt stocked with any weapons that any of you may need as well as the equipment needed to repel down the side of the building after you’d gotten the information.

Bucky sauntered up next to you as you walked toward the jet and bumped your hip with his. “Nervous?”

You looked at him, feigning outrage. “Are you implying I can’t do my job Barnes?”

He laughed. “No. I think you’re one of the best of us. I’m just saying it’s been, what, a year? Since you’ve put on this tight little suit and shot some people.”

You blushed. “Kicking ass is kinda like riding a bike Bucky. You can’t ever really forget how to do it once you’ve mastered it.”

He let out a humourless chuckle. “Don’t I know it, Doll. Don’t I know it.”

You bumped your hip against his again. “C’mon Barnes. Let’s show these punks how it’s done.”

He looked at you again, a real smile on his face. “Welcome back, Y/N. It’s been a while.”

You just rolled your eyes and walked up the ramp to the jet, plopping into a seat and strapping yourself in.

~0~

After the approximately five hour jet ride to Croatia, you all got out of your seats and stretched a bit. No one chatted much in the flight over there. You all typically took the time to breathe and prepare for the mission, going over schematics and floor plans in your head.

Steve handed Bucky, Nat and you a harness for repelling before pulling one on himself. You stepped into yours pulling the straps up and around your hips, clipping it in front. You began to try to tighten the straps around your thighs when a hand brushed your lower back. Bucky leaned in, his breath ghosting across the back of your neck.

“Here. Let me help.” He reached around your back to grab the strap on your right thigh, his left hand went to the small of your waist to steady you while he tugged roughly, tightening the harness so it was snug on your right hip, then he switched his hand position to tighten the other side. You felt your whole body flush and your abdomen filled with fire. His hands rested on either hip from behind you. “That feel good?” He murmured.

“Yeah. Perfect.” You breathed out. You flushed instantly at how breathless you sounded. Bucky patted your hips twice before turning to grab a few more weapons to strap to yourself. You took a deep breath to try to steady your racing heart, and lifted your eyes. You caught Nat staring at you.

She shook her head softly and gave you a smirk that said “I saw that.” It was almost painful how much you wanted to cover your face with your hands. You had to get your head on straight. You were about to charge into a building where people wanted to kill you. You couldn’t be thinking about how warm Bucky’s hands had felt on your hips, how his chin had lightly brushed the shell of your ear, or the pulsing heat low in your abdomen.

Focus.

“Alright, turn your coms on. Everyone ready?” Cap called from the back of the jet.

You all grunted your affirmatives. You started bouncing on the balls of your feet to warm up your muscles, shaking out your hands.

“Okay. Sam and Clint, you all head out first. We won’t start in until we hear affirmatives that you’re in position.” Cap said. He threw a backpack at Bucky. “Here’s your repelling gear. We’re going in pairs. There’s a clip in there that will strap you to Y/N.”

You looked at Bucky. He just looked back at you with an arrogant smirk and strapped the backpack to his back.

~0~

After Clint and Sam had gotten into position, you and Bucky were up. You both walked down the ramp of the quinjet. Once Nat and Cap exited the jet, it would go into stealth mode and autopilot up to the helipad that you would meet it on, staying hidden from any onlookers.

You and Bucky started your route to the main floor of the building. You’d bust in the back door and clear the main floor of any hostiles, before heading up the east stairwell, keeping it clear so that Steve and Nat could head up behind you to the room with the mainframe.

You both snuck up to the back door, luckily thus far you hadn’t run into anyone. Bucky flipped around so his back was to the wall next to the door. He motioned for you to stand right behind him. He looked at you over his shoulder and whispered “Ready?”

You winked and whispered back “Always.” He grinned and turned back to the door, firing twice at each hinge before rearing back and kicking it in.

Phew. He is so damn good at this.

He pushed in through the door, his gun at the ready and scanned the room. You followed in behind him, your backs together to make sure no one heard his shots and followed in behind you.

“There’s easily eight on this floor. If not more.” He whispered over his shoulder. “You ready?”

“What did I say, Barnes? I’m always ready.”

He chuckled softly. “Alrighty then, sweetheart. Let’s kick some ass.”

You felt his back shift away from yours, you spun ducking behind a half wall and aimed around a corner. As soon as you heard his gun unload, you started picking off hostiles one by one. When you had fired at everyone in your line of sight you popped up to follow the path that Bucky had gunned down in front of you.

You stepped around a corner to get a better look at the open area of the main entrance. Suddenly two arms wrapped around you from behind. One coming to cover your mouth. You grunted and swung an elbow back into the gut of the man who had grabbed you, causing him to falter in his grip. You swung your head back to smash into his nose. You heard a nasty crunch and a scream come from your assailant. Your adrenaline was pounding. You felt so fucking strong.

You whipped around, swinging your M249 back across your back. You swung your left foot out to take out his knees. He collapsed in front of you. You brought your gun back around you and smashed the hilt against the back of his head to make sure he stayed down.

You sensed another assailant to your left and instinctively ducked as he fired directly at your head. You swung around and launched yourself at him, wrapping both legs around his neck and then letting your body fall heavily toward the ground, dragging him to the ground and flipping him at the last second so his body swung hard against the ground. You ripped a glock out of your thigh holster and fired twice into his chest. Breathing hard you looked up to scan your surroundings.

It was just Bucky, standing between two dead operatives, grinning at you. “How do you feel, princess?”

You smiled back at him, panting a bit. “I feel fucking amazing.”

He smirked at you. “That’s my girl.”

You blushed. The fire returned to your abdomen.

Dear fucking god.

“Nat, Cap, we’re clear. We’re going to start our trek up the stairs.” Bucky said into his ear piece. Then he smiled at you again. “Let’s go rockstar.”

You trailed him again, backs together as you moved instinctually against him toward the stairs. It felt so natural to be here. Back softly pressed against Bucky’s, huge gun in your hands, firing on anyone who entered the stairwell below you. Feeling Bucky’s back flex as he fired, and lunged and tossed hostiles over the railing of the spiraling stairwell.

It was like magic when you worked together.

You finally made it to the top level and Bucky kicked the door into a few men who had been blocking the other side. You both whipped through the door. You fired a few shots at a couple of operatives, then slammed the hilt of your gun into the throat of a man who had gotten a little too close for comfort before grabbing him by the front of his jacket and slamming a fist into his nose, knocking him unconscious.

You spun and caught the tail end of Bucky kicking a man in the middle of his chest, hurtling him back into the stairwell and down a flight of stairs before his head cracked against the concrete wall.

“You’re relatively clear.” Bucky called into the coms. “We’re gonna scope out this floor, but you should be good to come up.”

“On our way.” Nat said through the line.

Bucky looked at you and silently motioned for you to follow him through the hallway. You nodded and stepped over the body in front of you, taking up your position at his flank.

You snuck through the halls, peeking in doors and down hallways, but found no one.

“It’s a little too quiet up here.” Bucky whispered. You hummed in agreement.

“We’re in.” Cap whispered through the coms. “I’m gonna stand guard on Nat. You two find a good spot to repel.”

“On it.” You said to Cap.

Bucky spun around and you headed back in the direction of the computer database. You rounded the corner and stepped  into a large L-shaped open concept office space with floor to ceiling windows on the back wall that looked out onto the building with the helipad. You couldn’t see the quinjet, but you knew that meant that the camouflage was still in place.

You both silently crept across the open room. There was something about the room that made your stomach turn. It was too open. Too quiet. “Bucky…” you whispered.

Suddenly he snagged you around the waist and hauled you to the ground, just as a few bullets ricocheted off the wall of filing cabinets behind you. Right where your head had been.

You were flat on your back, chests melded together. He was scanning the room in the direction of where the bullets had come from. “Stay down” He whispered before rolling off of you and crawling in the direction of the perpetrator.

You picked your head up and flipped over to your stomach, army crawling in the other direction. You had to be sure it wasn’t just a diversion, that there weren’t other men with guns on the other side of the room waiting for Bucky to get distracted.

You sat with your back against the wall of filing cabinets, catching your breath and listening for any movement. Bucky was out of your line of sight, he had to be crouched between filing cabinets, stalking his prey.

You suddenly heard a very small creak, coming from somewhere between the desks behind this wall of cabinets. You took a deep breath, grabbed both glocks from your hips, and whipped around the corner.

You saw two shadows move to your left and you let a smattering of bullets fly in that direction. Two bodies went down somewhere to your left and you spun to your right just in time to duck as a fist swung for your jaw. You bull rushed the guy, wrapping your arms around his waist and slamming your body weight into his gut, tackling him to the ground. Behind you, you could hear shots being fired across the room.

You sat up, straddling him, and with your gun still in your fist, punched him once square in the nose. He spat blood up into your face and choked out “Bitch.” You just smirked and slammed your fist against his skull again, this time knocking him out cold.

“Asshole.” You said down to his unconscious form. You hopped up, both glocks held out in front of you, but you had managed to down every agent on your side of the room. You spun, heading back in the direction that you heard Bucky’s voice alongside an unfamiliar one.

“Put your gun down. Let’s make this interesting, shall we?” The unfamiliar voice crooned.

“My pleasure.” That was Bucky. You heard the thud of what you assumed was his gun being dropped on the floor.

Are you fucking kidding me?

You began weaving through desks toward where you heard the voices, coming from around the corner of the large office space. You could hear grunts and the sounds of fists meeting flesh. When you rounded the corner you saw the unknown man had Bucky in a headlock, cutting off Bucky’s oxygen.

“Fuck me.” You groaned. Both of their heads whipped up to look at you at the same time. Bucky was pretty red in the face.

Without hesitating you lifted your glock and put a hole in the strange man's forehead. It was a pretty close shot, but you were a good aim and you weren’t overly concerned about hitting Buck in the process.

The man dropped to the floor and Bucky fell to his hands and knees, sucking in deep breaths. You stomped over to him, stopping a few inches from where he crouched, and put your hands on your hips to stare down at him.

“Thanks sweet-” Bucky had started to choke out.

“What the actual fuck was that James Buchanan Barnes.” You spit down at him. You were boiling with anger. How dare he? How dare he fucking try to have some macho fight and nearly get himself killed. You almost wanted to kill him yourself, just to prove a fucking point. You were seething.

He just coughed out a laugh and looked up at you with a big grin on his face. “You’re kinda cute when you’re angry.”

You spun on your heel and walked toward the wall of windows behind him. “And you’re kind of an idiot when you’re high on adrenaline James.”

He chuckled again, hauling himself to his feet. He snagged his gun and strapped it over his shoulder. He walked up next to you and punched his metal arm through the drywall of the wall next to the windows. You flinched and looked at him.

What the hell?

“Gotta find a beam to strap ourselves to, Doll.” He smirked at you. He ripped a piece of drywall out with his fist, revealing a big metal I-beam. “We’re set in the office space at the end of the hall whenever you two get your shit together.” He panted into the com.

Nat’s amused voice answered “We’re on our way, but it sounds like you’re the one who needs to get your shit together Barnes.”

You punched Bucky in the shoulder. “Don’t ever do that again you idiot.”

“I knew you’d get him.” Bucky responded, pulling the repelling cable out of the bag on his back and wrapping an end around the I-beam, securing it together.

“That was a pretty close shot Buck.”

“Like I said” he panted, as he clipped a hook to the cable, and then to the harness around his waist. “I knew you’d get him.” He turned to you with a big stupid grin on his face. “You know…” He started, stepping into you “I normally hate when people use my full name, but when it’s coming from your lips I kinda love it.” You were nearly chest to chest now. He flicked your nose.

“Fuck you, James.” You spit. He just chuckled and bit his lower lip. He extended the hook from the middle of his torso to clip into the harness in the middle of yours. There was now only about an inch of space between the two of you. You were sharing every breath.    

Behind you, you could hear footsteps as Nat and Steve came running into the room. They made a beeline for your position, Steve ripped their cable from his backpack and began securing it around the I-beam and strapping himself to Nat.

Bucky started to walk backwards toward the giant window behind him. Nat fired her glock a few times at the glass above your heads, causing the glass to shatter and fall away leaving a big opening for you to repel out of. You closed your eyes as glass fell around you.

Bucky wrapped his right arm around your waist and you felt his metal arm pull slightly on the cable, checking for tension. You opened your eyes and found his blue eyes piercing into yours.

“Ready sweetheart?” He asked.

You rolled your eyes. “What have I been saying all day James? I’m alw--”

You didn’t get to finish your sentence because Bucky stepped backward off the edge of the building without taking his eyes off yours.

~0~

You free fell for a few heart beats before Bucky pushed his feet against the wall to slow your descent. As you repelled, you could hear the soft whistling of Clint’s arrows through the air and the shattering of windows around you as he picked off anyone who tried to stop your momentum.

When you reached the level of the building you were supposed to drop onto Bucky tightened his grip around the cable, slowing your momentum. You flinched a bit at the sound of metal scraping metal as the cable slid along his palm.

“Doesn’t that hurt?” You asked.

He shrugged. “A little, I can only kinda feel it. It definitely doesn’t hurt as bad as I’m sure Cap’s hand does right now, even with a kevlar glove.”

So that’s why they had wanted you to repel in pairs. So you and Nat wouldn’t have to get cable burns on your hands. Those two ancient men. Couldn’t get over their chivalry from the 40’s. You rolled your eyes.

“Sam, a little boost please.” Bucky called into the coms.

“Oh c’mon super soldier.” Sam crooned back. “Can’t swing over yourself? You’re looking pretty bad in front of the ladies.”

You giggled. “If you think this is a bad look, you should have seen the dumbass in a head lock up there on the top floor.” Bucky glared at you.

Sam just laughed. “I want to be clear, I’m only coming to help you because you’re strapped to that gorgeous woman with a wicked mouth. Otherwise you’d be on your own Tin Man.”

Sam swung around the building and snagged Bucky by the backpack, flapping his wings and yanking you both backwards so you were hovering over the edge of the building. Bucky quickly unhooked your waists from the cable. When Sam felt your weight drop, he let go of Bucky’s bag and flew back over to bring Nat and Steve over the edge as well.

You dropped straight down to the roof of the building. Bucky took the brunt of the impact, rolling when his back hit the concrete. You laid on your sides on the roof, panting together for a moment before he reached between you and unclasped the hook that connected you. You rolled over to your back, still catching your breath from the impact of hitting the roof.

Bucky turned his head to look at you. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” You panted. Chest heaving up and down as you sucked in oxygen. “I feel fucking incredible.” You turned your head to look at him. He smiled at you.

“You look fucking incredible.” He said. Like it just slipped out before he could stop it. You blushed, your whole body going warm and gooey.

Before either of you could say anything else, you heard two matching grunts as Nat and Steve hit the roof and the mechanical sounds of Sam landing a little ways away. You both rolled to stand up.

Clint scaled down the side of a large water tank structure and started walking toward the jet. “Took you long enough.” He called.

“I blame this one on Barnes.” Nat called. “He was trying a little too hard to show off.”

Sam laughed. “Yeah Buck, it sounds like you got your ass handed to you up there. Little distracted buddy?”

Bucky muttered “Fuck you” under his breath as you all climbed back on the ship. You spun around to walk backward up the ramp so you could cock an eyebrow at Bucky, giving him a little smirk.

He just dropped his head to look at his feet as he stomped up the ramp. “Keep walkin, dollface.”

You cackled, and spun around to walk the rest of the way up the ramp. Dropping into a seat and strapping yourself in for the long flight home.

[c4pricornc4ts]

The Best Prank - SBI One-Shot

This idea is by @bellfort3 ! Thank you for letting me take it. 

Summary:  He’d ask his mom if he could just quickly tweet something funny about him being grounded but really, isn’t a break from Tommy what everyone wants? Even his own fans used to find him annoying. Maybe everyone’s happy he’s gone. 

So he doesn’t ask. 

Tommy is tilting his head back in one of the uncomfortable leather seats outside the principal's office yet again this semester. He’s holding an already very bloody tissue up to his nose and swinging his legs while waiting for his mom to be interrupted in the middle of work yet again to come and take him home. 

He really tried not to get in another fight after how mad his mom was last time, but there were these asshole upperclassmen who just really deserved it for how much of an asshole they are to everyone, but especially him. 

He knew his mom would be livid, and he was completely right. He eyes her warily as she steps in the office and starts switching between apologizing profusely to the principal and lecturing him. The principal just hands her a paper to sign and tells them both very seriously that if he gets in one more fight he’s expelled. 

Tommy’s up getting another tissue when she all but drags him out the office door by his coat. 

“It’s really not that big of a deal!” He whines as she checks him over, before letting him get in the car. 

She leans her forehead against the steering wheel and sighs, gripping it tightly. “Not a big deal? Tom you can’t just get in fights with people! You heard your principal, one more and you’re out.”

“What am I supposed to do? Just let them be assholes?” He snapped at her, though he sounded less angry and more nasally from the tissue blocking his nose. 

“Go tell a goddamn teacher! I’m starting to think you like getting your nose broken.” 

“They don’t do shit!” 

His mom turns to him, he looks away. “Your grades are dropping, you’ve been in a total of three fights just this semester and now you’re snapping at me? What’s gotten into you?” 

“I’m sorry mom.” He mumbles. He does feel kind of bad about it all. But mostly he just wants the  conversation to end. 

“You’ve really left me no choice here you know.” She takes his phone out of his backpack. “No phone for a week, and no streaming either. I’m unplugging the wifi. You need to do some self reflection.” 

“Oh come on now, a whole week? It’s just a bloody nose it’s not like anybody died!” This was completely unfair. Streaming was his job, and how on earth will his friends know where he went? 

“You’ll thank me when you’re not repeating sophomore year.” She starts the car, focusing on the road now. Tommy makes no move to speak to her again not wanting to make anything worse. 

After he’s caught up on his school work it’s almost 8pm. He goes to sit in front of his computer, excited to just hang out with whoever was online and deflates in his seat when all he can do is play that stupid no internet dinosaur game. 

Even though it’s a stupid game he still plays it for at least an hour before giving up and just getting ready for bed. At least he had school tomorrow to keep him distracted. 

School goes by quickly, he complains to his friends about being grounded and over exaggerates the fight he was in and all his teachers give him looks when they see his bruised face but smile when he turns in his late work. 

He opens his front door and starts to head upstairs, preparing to stream before just leaning against the wall and sighing when he remembers his punishment. He has no homework though so really what was he supposed to do? 

Blue eyes look at the cookie mix left on the counter and Tommy makes a plan. He changes out of his school uniform and makes sure to give his mom a pointed look before running back to the kitchen. 

He reads the back of the box, leaning against the counter; 2 eggs, ½ cup of water, and ⅓ cup of olive oil. It sounds easy enough. The only trouble he has is trying to crack the eggs without getting any shells in the bowl. He thinks about when he met up with his friends and how Wilbur and Phil made it a competition to see which of the two could crack an egg with one hand the cleanest. 

Tommy stares at the unmixed bowl, his hands covered in baking ingredients, wondering if any of his online friends missed him. They always seem relieved he’s not around when they stream and Tommy tries to remember they’re talking about his character, but it hurts. There’s only so many times he can hear his pseudo family call him annoying and a problem before it starts to feel more personal. 

It hurt, he always played it off so well on stream but after streams where they were particularly rude to him he always just felt drained. 

He’d ask his mom if he could just quickly tweet something funny about him being grounded but really, isn’t a break from Tommy what everyone wants? Even his own fans used to find him annoying. Maybe everyone’s happy he’s gone. 

So he doesn’t ask. 

Suddenly, he doesn’t want to finish his baking project. He really just wants to lie down and sleep for the week. But he does, though it feels a lot less exciting than it did at first. 

He takes the cookies out of the oven with his bare hands yelling about how that’s his least favorite part before turning around and coming face to face with his very confused mom holding an oven mitt. 

He runs his hands under some cold water and takes a few cookies up to his room, leaving the rest out. He closes the door and plays some minecraft in single player for a while, walking into the house he and Tubbo had built together when his friend had visited. 

Tubbo doesn’t hate him, he liked Tubbo. 

It’s only his fourth day of no internet and Tommy is incredibly bored. He had done just about everything he could think of to do. He feels bad for kids who grew up like this because honestly, how did they do it? 

He supposes it’s different when you don’t rely on the internet for your job, or if you just never knew it was a thing. If he was born before the internet maybe he would write that book he always wanted to write. 

Tommy is staring at a book on knitting and fumbling around the two needles, trying to make his weekend at least somewhat productive. The tv in the living room is turned down and Tommy curls up on the end of the couch with a roll of green yarn.

He begins to get the hang of the whole knitting thing after three very messy rows when his mom messes up his hair, causing him to look up with a glare. 

“We’re going out, don’t you try to get on anything or it’ll be two weeks!” 

“I have ascended past the need for electronics, as you can see.” He laughs and keeps trying to tie off the fourth row. 

The door clicks shut and Tommy tosses the yarn aside and sits up. Sighing hard enough to blow his hair out of his face before flopping back down on the couch dramatically. 

He throws an arm over his eyes and resolves to just lie down for a bit, not bothering to even fix the knitting book which had landed open on the floor next to him. 

He just let’s the colors flickering from the tv wash over him for a while when the doorbell rings. He ignores it, as his parents didn’t tell him anyone would be coming by. Hoping it was just the mail. 

The person at the door starts knocking after a few moments, so Tommy begrudgingly gets up to answer. 

He really wasn’t expecting Wilbur to be standing in his front yard, checking his phone. He looked troubled, as if he was worrying it was the wrong house or something. Tommy takes a deep breath and goes to find out what Wilbur wanted. 

“Tommy! Where’ve you been? Everyone’s been so worried I decided to make a trip here.” Wilbur just let’s himself in, walking right past Tommy and into the kitchen. 

“Oh, just busy with school y’know?” He knows it’s a weak excuse, but it’s worth a shot. 

“Too busy to just send a message to someone?” Of course that didn’t work on Wilbur. Philza or Tubbo would’ve accepted that excuse in a heartbeat. But not Wilbur. 

“I thought no one would care. It’s only a week.” He opens the fridge, trying to act nonchalant about the situation. 

“Only a week? Tommy, you usually text us everyday! Of course we’re gonna notice.” 

“Notice? Yes. Care? No.” He mumbles bitterly. Freezing up right after, hand still on the fridge handle. 

“Of course we care! Wha- Why would you think we didn’t-” Tommy feels a bit bad, Wilbur sounds genuinely hurt by it. But Tommy wasn’t done. 

“You all always talk about how annoying I am, for-fucking-give me for giving you and everyone else a break.” He turns towards the older, and tries to stop his eyes from watering. Trying to tell himself he’s mad, not upset. 

“It’s all jokes Tommy, you know we don’t actually feel that way about you.” Wilbur pushes off the counter and takes a tentative step towards Tommy. Who makes sure Wilbur notices him step back. 

“What’s so funny about it? I go from school where everyone seems to hate me just to talk to more people who act like they hate me. And I’m really, really tired of it.” He falters by the end of the statement, realizing that maybe he is more than just mad. 

He knows he’s crying, his shoulders shake and his face feels hot as he looks anywhere but at Wilbur’s face. Was it so bad of him to just want people in his corner for once? Is he really such an annoyance that someone had to drive all the way to his house because he didn’t just find a way to contact any of them? 

“Oh, Tommy.” Wilbur murmurs, his voice sounds soft. And Tommy leans into his shoulder for support. He should probably just sit down, but he really just wants some comfort right now. Even if the one who made him so upset is the one he gets it from. 

Wilbur pulls him in, enveloping him in an actual hug. And Tommy can’t deny it does make him feel a bit better. 

“I’m being ridiculous, I'm sorry. I-I know you guys don’t mean it. It just- It hurts.” He’s crying again, and he really hopes Wilbur doesn’t make him stop hiding his face. 

“You’re not being ridiculous, we should’ve looked out for you better. I just assumed you were okay with it, but I never even asked you. I’m the one who’s sorry. So you take your sorry back.” 

“Sorry for being sorry.” He whispers back softly, laughing over his own joke. 

Wilbur holds him for a bit longer, and he tries to wipe his face before stepping back. 

“I’ll talk to Techno and Philza if that’s okay. I never want you to feel like I wouldn’t care if you left, I’m sure they wouldn’t want you too either.” 

“That’s- thanks, Wilbur.” 

Wilbur claps his hands together excitedly. “Now, tell me what TommyInnit does when there’s no internet to waste his time on.” 

“Wilbur you won’t believe it but I got to the point of boredom where you learn to knit. To knit, Wilbur!” He’s dragging Wilbur by the arm into the living room to show him the barely finished hat he’d started. And laughing when Wilbur fusses at him for leaving the book sprawled on the floor like it was. The moment earlier was completely forgotten. 

And if Wilbur made a tweet that night, well he’d delete it before Tommy got his phone back so really, no one gets hurt here. 

Wilbur Soot (@WilburSoot)

Tommy’s grounded LMAOO and won’t have his phone for the next few days, quick comment nice paragraphs under his latest tweet to confuse him haha, the best prank I think.

[chisakidream]

two times he said he loved you; the one time he didn’t

katsuki bakugou x reader

warnings: angst, mentions of blood, swearing

A/N: its my first time writing again in a very long time, i’m sorry if it sucks and there’s mistakes

i.  he meant it with his whole heart

“I’m in love with you.”

He was acting weird right now. You couldn’t figure out what it was but something about him seemed so off right now. He didn’t have his usual glare on his face, he was unusually calm. He hadn’t talked much since he came into your dorm room, demanding you two study together so “you two can keep each other on track.” but you guys study together all the time, why did he need an excuse now? When you sneaked a glance over at him you were expecting to see him writing down notes from the textbook but instead you were met with crimson eyes looking right back at you. “What is it?” You asked him, wondering why he was looking at you, not his textbook. “Just making sure you’re studying, idiot.” He mumbled looking back down towards his book, he almost let it slip that time. He needed to watch what he said before he ruined what you guys had. He needed you now more than ever by his side. The League kidnapping him, All Might retiring, failing the provisional licensing exam, he feels this huge cloud of negativity over him that he can’t seem to get rid of. It only leaves when you’re with him, even if it’s only for a little bit, every second he spent with you left him wanting more. You changed him, he knew that, your classmates knew that, even his parents knew that but you, you hadn’t noticed the softer looks he gave you when you were deep into a conversation with Ashido, you never noticed all the times he covered you with your blanket when you fell asleep while you were studying, you never noticed how he always yelled at Kirishima, Sero, Ashido, or Kaminari if they tried to sit next to him in the cafeteria, insisting that the seat was for you and only you, you never noticed how when you guys walked down the street he was always made sure he was the one closest to the road, you never noticed the little things that you changed about him. He remembers his mom barging into his room one day when he was home for the weekend, demanding him to tell her why he had been acting so weird lately. For once, he didn’t yell at her, he just sat at the edge of his bed and put his head in his hands. Mitsuki knew there was something wrong with her son, and she was going to get to the bottom of it right then and there. “I don’t know” He whispers, his mind racing with thoughts of you, did he love you? Or did he just enjoy your presence the most out of everyone? Yea, maybe it was just that. But why does he feel the need to make sure you got enough sleep the night before, or to make sure you text him when you got back to the dorm safely if he stayed back to train with Kirishima? Why did he always want to be the reason you smile everyday? Fuck, he just wanted to hold you so close, so tightly, he just wanted to protect you from everything. Every thought that came into his head he spit out to his mother while she rubbed his back comfortingly, with the sickest smirk on her face. After Mitsuki was confident he was done talking, she snickered for a second, “Katsuki, you’re in love.” That night was the first night in a long time that he didn’t argue with his mother, instead they talked for hours about you, what you looked like, what your quirk was, anything Bakugou could think of about you, he told his mom. Every word they exchanged that night, the only ones that stuck in his head wore the last ones his mom spoke to him before she went to bed for the night. “You never know Katsuki, she could be sitting in her room right now, with her mom, having the same exact conversation about you, but you won’t know unless you say something.” That’s what led him to this moment. Sitting here with you, in your dorm, staring at you. He swore to himself he wasn’t gonna tell you just yet but fuck, he couldn’t keep his stupid mouth shut. You were so beautiful, even in your pajamas with textbooks and notebooks all around you, hair pulled away from your face. He could see every feature of your face, every blemish, every spot, every freckle, and he loved it so much. He didn’t even hear or feel the words come out of his mouth. “I’m in love with you.”

ii. he only meant it a little bit  

“Yea, love you too.”

Sometimes you thought Bakugou didn’t love you anymore. Sometimes you guys would part ways in the morning to patrol your respective ends of the city and you wouldn’t hear from him until you guys got home at the end of the night. Even then, when you would ask him what he wanted for dinner he would just mutter an excuse that he already ate with Kirishima or he wasn’t hungry and to just eat what you wanted while he went right to bed. Other times he would make sure he got the same day off you did so you guys could have a day together for yourselves. On those days you would just stay at home and relax on the couch together, holding each other close while you watched some random movie that was sure to become background noise soon. You loved those days so much, he made you feel loved again, he made you feel wanted again. The way he would hold you close and kiss you always made thoughts race through your mind. How could he treat you like this one day but then like your presence disgusts him the next? Were you too clingy sometimes and he hated it? Did you say the wrong thing to him and you hadn’t noticed? There’s no way, this is Katsuki Bakugou you’re talking about here, if you said one wrong thing to him he would have absolutely blown up on you, whether it was Kirishima, his mom, or even you. Bakugou hated himself sometimes. He hated himself for the way he would treat you sometimes, you didn’t deserve it all but jesus christ you were so annoying sometimes. Why couldn’t you just leave him alone sometimes? Just for a little bit he wanted time to himself. Sometimes he wondered if he even loved you anymore and he’s only stayed for so long because this is all he knows? You guys got together in high school and it’s been 6 years. All he’s ever known is going home to your shared house together after his day at work and having dinner together and repeating it all again tomorrow. He was comfortable, Bakugou was comfortable with the life he had made with you, getting up and leaving now would be foolish. He has a nice house and a beautiful girlfriend, you both make great money being in the top 5 of Pro Heros. How could he complain? He didn’t know what it was, so here he was again, sitting in his childhood bedroom, on the edge of his bed with his mom. “Am I a bad person?” He asks in hopes of his mom telling him how to fix all this. “No, Katsuki, you’re not a bad person, you’re just confused that’s all. You love her, you know you do, you just need to have a talk with her about what’s bothering you.” She told him, praying he listens to her for once. All Bakugou did was nod and stand up to make his way home. As he made his way out the front door, all Mitsuki could think was that he would make the right decision. He didn’t, in fact he did the complete opposite, he didn’t bring it up to you at all and kept his mouth shut. He told himself that he didn’t need to talk with you and that he could just fix it himself by trying to be better. Clearly you still loved him if you were still here right? You were a strong woman and if you didn’t like something or felt uncomfortable in any type of way you always told him, and you haven’t said anything to him. So to Bakugou that was a good sign. Now here you are getting ready to leave the house for a girls day with your old classmates from 1-A. You looked over at Bakugou as you were slipping on your shoes. “I’ll be home around 9 if you want to watch a movie when I get back.” You tell him, standing up straighter. “I gotta work tomorrow, you know this.” He grumbles out not even looking over at you. “Oh right, I’m sorry, I thought we both had 2 days off this week.” You tell him, hoping he would just look at you at least once. “Well you thought wrong.” Please Bakugou, just look once. You shake his rude comments off and try to lighten the mood before you walk out the door. “You like my outfit? It's orange and black like your hero costume.” You sweetly smiled towards him. It doesn’t even have to be direct eye contact, just look in your general direction at least. “Yea it’s cute.” Not one look. A honk outside disrupts what you were about to say, letting you know Mina was outside. “I’ll be back later. I love you.” You say turning around not waiting for him to look up at you anymore. With your back turned, all you heard was a mumbled “yea, love you too” and walked out the door. You missed him finally over towards you, looking at your outfit, taking in the colors that resembled his hero costume and how beautiful your hair looked but the biggest thing that stood out to him was the slump of shoulders and your head hung low. Fuck, he did again. He needed to try harder and stop being an idiot. 

iii. he didn’t say it at all

“I’m so sorry.”

Bakugou was trying, he swears he was. He sat up at night thinking, he loved you, he did with his whole heart. Things were finally getting better between you two, you both took a week long vacation to relax with each other and reconnect as a couple. You two had so much fun in the house together, you guys cooked so much food for each other, after years of begging, Bakugou finally let you put a face mask on him, he even let you put on his gauntlets, only for a second though, they were heavy and he didn’t want you to hurt yourself. You both had been back at work for a few days now and everything was going by smoothly, you both had managed to come home for 3 days straight without a single scratch on either one of you. For Katsuki Bakugou that was never good, something was bound to happen, nothing in his life ever went this smoothly for so long. He didn’t know what it was but it wasn’t going to be good. You guys lay in bed that night, his arm wrapped around your waist, holding you close. You felt so much better than you did a few weeks ago. Whatever thoughts you had about Bakugou, clearly you were wrong, he did love you, he was just going through a rough time you guess. Everything felt okay again and you were so relieved and happy. The next day Bakugou was just having a really shitty day, he swears it was just a bad day. The second he began his patrol some punks were causing trouble and one of them had managed to punch him in the face good. Then when he was about to go on his lunch break, he realized he left his debit card home. When he made it back to his office to grab some spare cash from his desk, he saw you standing in by the window looking out into the city. “What did I say about coming into my office with giving me a heads up?” He growled towards you, making you turn towards him. “I’m sorry, I heard about those little shits from earlier and no one helped you, are you okay?” You walked over to him looking at his busted lip. He moves his head aside to avoid your hand coming in contact with his jaw. “Just get the fuck out and go to your end of the city, I want to be left alone right now!” He yells at you, staring daggers right at you. You sigh and sadly smile up at him before moving towards the door to leave. You turn towards him one more time with your hand on the doorknob, “Cheer up a little, at least you’re not dead,” He didn’t reply but you expected that. “I’ll see you at home, I love you, Katsuki.” what you didn’t expect was for him to not reply to that. He completely ignored you, threw his gauntlets down onto the ground and plopped down into his office chair. You walked out of his agency trying to ignore what just happened and carry on with your day. It was just a bad day, everybody has them, but shit, were Bakugou’s bad days the worst. You didn’t dwell on it long, knowing that he was just having a shit day and he would be fine by the time you guys got home, you got back to your part of the city to continue your patrol. With just an hour left of your shift, everything went downhill. Just as you turned the corner on a street you heard a scream behind you, turning around you jumped into action. At 4:46 Bakugou’s side kick came bursting into his office, “Ground Zero, we need to get downtown as quickly as possible, there's been a villain attack and it’s getting out of control, the police have called for all heros in the surrounding areas to report down there as quickly as possible.” Downtown. That's where you were. He picks up his gauntlets and throws them on and runs out of his agency with his sidekick closely behind. He needed to make sure you were safe, no, he knew you were safe and you were kicking that villain's ass. But the police said it was getting out of control. Something clearly is wrong. Katsuki, shut up and stop thinking like that. You’re okay he knows you’re okay, you're the strongest person he knows. His mind was racing a million miles a second and he didn’t know what to expect as he finally made it to the scene. Everything was in shambles, the buildings around were destroyed, cars were smashed, light posts were knocked over, but it was silent. He thought they needed help? He looked around and saw the faces of civilians and heros, all with the same expression. Sadness. What the fuck is going on? As he looked around more hoping to catch your face, he noticed Kirishima running towards him. “What happened? I thought they needed our help!” Bakugou shouts, throwing his hands in the air. “Midoriya, got here just as the call was put out for the rest of the heros to come, he handled it quickly,” Kirishima murmured to him avoiding looking Bakugou in the eyes, why did he have to be the one to tell Bakugou? “Bakugou you need to come with me, man away from everyone.” This was getting worse and worse by the second and it was pissing Bakugou off. Where the fuck were you? Kirishima led him away from the crowd and towards a group of police officers standing on the sidewalk away from the crowd. “Kirishima, you better tell me what's going on before I blow you to pieces.” He growls as they get closer and closer to the police officers. He noticed they were standing in a straight line shoulder to shoulder, almost as if they were trying to block something from the civilians' sight. One of the officers turns around and Bakugou immediately recognizes him as the chief of police. Kirishima stopped in his tracks and placed a hand on his best friend's shoulder and dropped his gaze to the ground, “Bakugou, please promise me you won’t lose your shit and blow this entire place up.” Kirishima says finally looking up at him, Bakugou notices the tears in his eyes and the tremble in his lip. Bakugou looks over at the police once more and notices the faint colors of blue, purple and white on the ground. Those were the colors of your hero costume. In that second it all clicked in Bakugou’s head. Without thinking he sprints towards the officers pusing every single one at the way, he looks down and his worst nightmare has come true. There you laid, on the ground, motionless, covered in your own blood. Bakugou has had this dream many times in his life but not once did he ever think it would become true. He drops to the ground and immediately grabs your face, “Please wake up, WAKE UP” He sobs into your chest, still not letting go of either side of your face. This has to be some sick joke, you’re not dead. He doesn’t care about the blood that is now on his face or his tears dripping down onto your cheeks. He feels a hand on his back and someone crouch down next to him. He doesn’t need to look to know its Kirishima, “I'm sorry Bakugou.” Bakugou walks through the front door of your home and drops his gauntlets and takes his boots off. He goes straight to your shared room and stands in the middle of the room. It still smells faintly of your perfume, something Bakugou always hated because it made him smell like that. But this time he didn’t care at all, he wanted the room to smell like this forever. He reached into his pocket and pulled out your hero card, staring at your picture on the ID, your smile so bright and happy. You were so happy back then. He could feel the tears beginning to fill his eyes again but he didn’t try to stop them from falling this time. He hated himself so much right now, he couldn’t believe those were the last words he said to you. He was a piece of shit, he was sure of it. The sobs raked through his body as he clutched your ID card, he didn’t even tell you he loved you back. You died thinking he didn’t love you. How could he live with that? He loved you with his whole heart, this wasn’t how it was supposed to end. You two were supposed to grow old together, have kids, watch them have kids and be the cool grandparents that totally let them eat candy even though their parents didn't let them. Why did he have to tell her leave? If you stayed at the office for just a little longer none of this would have happened. He drops to his knees in front of the nightstand and places your hero card perfectly straight onto it and opens the drawer, he pulls out a small black box and opens it. Bakugou breaks down into more tears when he lays his eyes on the diamond rings that lay in it. He places the box right next to the ID card and drops his head down. “I’m so sorry.” He sobs as he climbs into the bed and lays on your side hugging your pillow. This time around, it was Mitsuki in his home, sitting on the edge of her son and girlfriend's bed, rubbing Bakugou’s back as he lay in the bed still clutching your pillow to his chest. She tried to hold her tears in as she watched her son break down. You were the one for him. Everyone knew that.

[ginwhitlock]

Southbound  ch 1/ ch 2

After the Cullens leave her behind, Bella is left to pick up the pieces by herself. A year after her eighteenth birthday, a split second decision lands her in her truck, running far away from everything she has ever known. She decides to go south. What will she find in San Angelo, Texas?

One day I’m going to have to admit to my demise. The casket will be small and the rain will be pouring like it does everyday there. Charlie’s eyes will puff up like abandoned birthday party balloons in the desert heat-- and I will not be there to dry them. The church parking lot is gonna look like a high school reunion. A maze of junkers that never quite made it out of Forks, the high heels of my former friends swapped out for rain boots.

After a tearless goodbye from a pastor I never met and school acquaintances I never spoke to, the purple haze of my childhood bedroom will be packed into brown cardboard boxes. Like I didn’t live there at all. As if my mark on the world only existed in our-- my meadow.

I could feel the curl of dandelion weeds at my back pocket but refused to move an inch. His ochre eyes were spun as thick as honey as he laid beside my body. There was a gleam of something I couldn’t place in the part of his lips, but I returned the smile with my own. The press of cold flesh spread through my neck, down my spine, through my toes and into the mush under his shoes.

In the small blink of my lashes his form disappeared into the air.

The bed of wildflowers around me turned to ash before I could reach for him. All I could smell was nothing like the forest and everything like a bonfire left wild. The flames crawled towards me, my body refusing to budge in its wake. My head screamed to just MOVE.

My eyes opened to a blurry mass of nothing. Tears rolling down my cheeks, their path as uncertain as my whereabouts as I raised up on my elbows. They dried before I could wipe them away.

The pads of my fingers found the line of ancient stitching on the bench seat like a security blanket. My rapidly blinking eyes rolled around the cab in an untraceable pattern. The windows were clear and still, the leather beneath my backside warm to the touch. I could see my reflection in the silver lining the dashboard, the dark blanche underneath my eyelids clenched at my tired heart

There were no flowers. No meadow. No him.

Sitting up completely, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was carrying. The rushed exhale through my cracked lips brought my lungs to the dip of my ribs-- the familiar ache pulling the back of my skull taut.

Outside, the swell of Texas sun rises just beyond a gathering of trees. I can’t remember how I got here, the smell of asphalt long gone. Instead a dirt road lined my eyesight. It gave far too little clue to my immediate surroundings. Above me the sky was as clear as the south gets and the ground solid like beaten down gravel-- but no road signs. No mile markers.

I can’t even see behind the horizon.

The air in the cab became overcrowded with my fear, the push and pull of breath fogging up the chilled glass. I feel like a child left behind in a supermarket. Unreadable ques leading me farther and farther into the swamp of confusion.

My tires sat flat against the path, just beside it, as if I had just turned off to get some shut-eye. But why here? The middle of absolute nowhere? Had I learned nothing from the nomad with the hair like my forest fire?

My hand twisted the ignition before I could stray to the silver scar on my right wrist. It’s memory glinting in the corner of my mind.

All I can get out is the sputter of the motor, a failed attempt to rise the slumbering beast.

Another hard turn returns with the same groan.

I could feel the sweat start to slide down the expanse of my back in a winding trail. The salt water seeping into the flannel pushed up around my hips in a faux blanket. My palms slid around the wheel-- the leather close to splitting.

Me too, baby. Me too.

The door handle started to whisper to me. A stupid notion to leave the steel barrier hung onto the interior in flashing chrome.

I should've taken that damn cell phone Charlie tried to buy me last year. I could’ve at least called a tow. Maybe found out where in the hell I was-- but no. Who did I need to call back then? A boy who could pick out my heartbeat in a sea of a hundred exhausted teenagers? The press of my scent to his senses would’ve said everything I need to say anyway.

But now, no almost-not-quite-humans with super hearing as far as I could see.

The rusted-out Chevy felt more and more like a cage by the minute. A rushed push of the door frame threw my feet to the red dirt. A careful hand skimmed along the side of the truck as I followed the structure to the bed in a half-creep.

My ears were hypersensitive to the billow of wind blowing through the tops of the oak trees. The motion reminded me of the run on Edwar-- the creature’s back through the forest. Normally unwatchable to my dull eyes, but on his back I could see the restlessness of the air, the ever moving flight of dragonflies and underground wonders. Well up until I had the urge to puke.

I couldn’t say the sight of the wavering treeline didn’t give me the same feeling.

My entire body jumped nearly out of my skin at the sound of metal slapping something solid. My back clenched, the hair on the back of my nape sent sky-high.

“Down girl, it’s alright, no need to get all bug-eyed on me now.” A man’s voice came from a few feet behind me. My mind raced with the decision to face him or not. To see the person who would finally take me out. Or to lay down and leave the world not knowing the monster’s face.

A rough hand on my shoulder stops my thoughts in their measly tracks.

“You know,” A deep breath let out just behind me bounced off the metal of the truck back into my ear, “I don’t know many people that stray over to these parts real often. You must not be from around here, miss.” His hand turned my body to face him, the packed dirt underneath my sneakers scuffing into the silent air. My body felt as though it was under a spell. A rabbit held under the jaws of a coyote.

His smile caught me off guard.

It was no show off teeth, carnivore-sharp grin. It was a gentle pull of lips. A soft rose blush underneath the skin. The rest of his face was shadowed by the brim of a worn leather cowboy hat, his eyes masked slightly by it. Dragging my eyes down, I could almost feel the cotton of his button-up. It looked lovingly washed, as if it was worn for decades and not weeks. His Wranglers were in the same predicament. A smudge of what looked like motor oil stained into the crease of his knee, a rip could be easily seen by his ankles. And on his feet-- matching cowboy boots. The spurs had the same metal of his belt buckle in a vintage way, I could almost see him buying them as a set in some small town in the middle of Mexico.

“Sweetheart I know I’m good lookin’ and all but I did ask you a question a lil’ while ago…” He trailed off, his mouth set in a teasing upturn.

My eyes went wide, the fear lifting off my shoulders oddly by his tone. “I… Yes. You could say I’m not from around here.” The sentence tumbled out with a small thought of protecting myself. Keeping myself alive was first-- even if the apparent cowboy held himself like warm butter, quirked and sweet.

His brow lifted.

“You’re as closed off as a heifer in the dry season ya know that?”

His hand left my shoulder and held themselves up in mock surrender before placing them on his belt. His hip made contact with the side of the truck while starring me up and down. His eyes dragged up my fingers to my shoulder up to my lips and nose. My chest constricted with self consciousness.

The man in front of me rivaled every human boy I’ve ever met-- well man I’ve ever met. His legs, drawn out with a long line of denim, his shoulders square and broad. He looked older than He was, if anything he reminded me of Jasper.

The wavy blond hair peeking out of his hat, curling around his laid back collar. The stone corners of his shaded jaw. The slightly tanned skin, made from working fields I didn’t need to see. Even the fullness of his lips reminded me of the veteran vampire.

When his eyes landed on my own I realized-- he was waiting for me to speak again.

With a deep breath through the nose I managed to start, “I’ve been traveling from Fo-- the Pacific Northwest for a couple months. I got into Texas not too long ago.” A simple nod from his covered head prompted me to keep going, not commenting on my change of location. “I was just north of Lubbock last night. I woke up in my truck not long ago, but I’m not too sure where I am to be honest.” A low breath left my throat when I finished.

His stature straightened and I could now see how truly tall he was. He towered over me by a foot, almost. His mouth opened in a toothy smile and my brain clicked.

“Oh my god is this your land? I’m so sorry I didn’t know this was private land, my truck won’t start and I--” My ramble was suddenly cut off by a guttural laugh.

“Missy! You act like imma gonna what? You think imma skin your hide for wonderin’ onto this piece of dirt? C’mon now. Lemme getchu you somethin’ before you fall over dead.”

His back turned to me almost too fast. His form started to trek across to the treeline, his boots leaving indiscernible footprints into the rocky ground. I started to run to catch up and then stopped myself. Why would I follow this man? Did I have no self preservation? I didn’t even know him, no beachy waves or shiny belt buckle would be worth maybe dying over!

“Are you comin’ or what missy? I need to call my brother about your truck, so we gotta go to the house. It’s not far I promise.”, he yelled from the treeline, somehow persuading me to inch forward, heel to toe, towards him. My brain lost in the end, my pace quickening until I was right on his tail.

His neck turned to look me dead in the face, the shadow from his hat casting over the both of us for a moment. It was the most serious look I had seen on him in our short time together. It was almost soldier-like.

“I never asked.”

My eyebrows pinched together. “Asked what?”

“Your name, darlin’.” His face broke, smiling in a childish way, making it look like the simplest thing in the word.

My thoughts of self preservation long gone, I responded, “...Bella.”

His smile widened.

“Peter. Peter Whitlock.”

[someonestole15]

Awake, but where?

Far from home.

Vision blurry, hurt all over and barely awake, the soil underneath my face felt cool as I started to come to my senses. One word comes to mind, I pushed myself up and sat down in the middle of what looked like a field. Take a moment to shake off the haze, my armor and weapon had disappeared from my body, I’d hate to think the small shards of steel scattered around me were part of my former equipment.

Few patches left from the chainmail, not much of a suit of armor anymore, the edges of the links felt warm but seeing as it was no longer usable, I left the scraps behind as I leaned my head into my hands. All that time in acquiring it, all the resources, gone in a flash. Deep sigh, no point in crying over it, my limbs were still intact so it could be worse, but had the wizard been dragged in too?

“OBEUS?” I yelled, looking and listening in for a response but nothing. Trying a few more times, no response, a deep sigh as I accepted the fact, he wasn’t here. Alone, in an unknown place, without equipment. If this region was the same as home, nighttime would certainly be dangerous, especially without equipment, I looked around and sighted a road nearby along with several forests around it.

Short walk over to the road, glad to see that the portal hadn’t burned my clothes, getting arrested for something like that won’t look good in the guild books. An intersection to the north, the signs were worn down but I could make out a name from one of them. Feley, a city or a town, I’ll take either at this point, I’ve walked many paths in my life, and this will be another one.

The questions weighing on my shoulders, Feley was not on any of the maps I had seen, nor did the air taste the same. Walking along the plains, I sighted a large troll like creature stomping around with two adventurers fighting it. With my lack of gear, I kept back and hid myself behind a stone wall as the troll smacked one of the warriors and sent them flying into the wall I was hiding behind. Listening in, I heard the other adventurer yell out.

“Rhelf, are you alright?” The troll, now faced with only one opponent, placed itself between the two and roared whilst raising its axe for attack. Earth shook as it landed, I peeked over the wall and noticed her having issues in landing a hit. I can’t just run, no matter the equipment, it’s not the way we were trained, I pulled myself over the wall and took a knee next to the adventurer. Now, I am not a healer, so simply wishing him back to life wasn’t an option, but as I tore apart my sleeve to form a bandage, he handed me a potion and leaned their head back. Lift the visor, the warrior was a young, bearded man, I poured the potion into his mouth and stepped back. The man coughed a bit before pulling himself forward.

“Thank you stranger, give me a hand.”

“On your feet.” Heavy armor, getting him back up took some force but once he was standing, he told me to seek cover as he grabbed his weapon and braced for attack. Sher had managed to evade the troll, but with the two of them, they would certainly get the job done. Strike into the trolls thigh, I could hear him yell the girls name.

“Vulre!”

“On it.”

The chaos and getting hit from behind displaced the trolls focus, the elf adventurer landed a dagger into its throat and casted a spell, the air felt colder even from my hiding place, so it was likely a frost based attack. Vulre stepped back as the troll fell to the ground and turned to ashes, leaving behind what seemed like a few crystals. The duo sheathed their weapons and looked over the loot.

“Oi, stranger, you can come out now.” Back over the wall I went and walked to greet the two.

“I appreciate the help there lad, names Rhelf, this here is Vulre.”

“Yes, thank you.”

“No worries, I’m Quinn.”

“Pleasure to meet you Quinn, what are you up to out here? Dangerous place without any weaponry.” Rhelf asked as he placed one hand on his chin.

“Umm, that’s the thing, I am not sure where I am, I kind of just woke up here.”

“Well, that’s one night to forget then, you can tag along with us to Feley if you wish.” Vulre said as she placed the crystals in her bag.

“That would be nice, thanks.”

Not usually the type to group up but in my situation, it seemed like the smartest path to take. Walking along with the two felt familiar to the times when I was in the academy, learning the ropes on how to become a knight. My rank amongst them was still low, so most of my time was set for tasks and jobs helping the population of Belstead, Obeus included.

Little while later, we had sight of Feley and the surrounding areas became more built up as we got closer. Farms, small housings and caravans walking past us, the everyday life going on around us as we headed towards the main gate.

Several towers connected by a stone wall, rising up to a castle-like building at the top. Similar to Belstead in many ways, although the one there was built amidst a flat area. Still questioning where I was, I suppressed the need to ask until we reached the city, it would be easier to focus when we weren’t on the move. The front gate was tall and made up from dark wood, the guards at the gate were wearing heavy plate armor as they watched over the road.

Few glances from them as all three of us entered the city. The buildings and streets were mostly of wood with stone supports, the bustling sounds of the city filled my ears as I took in the atmosphere.

“Well, here we are. Can you handle yourself from here Quinn?”

“I think so. Is there anyone around here who would know about magic?”

“Planning on becoming a spell caster? My best guess would be the Court Wizards in the castle, they are up there for a reason, but getting a meeting with them isn’t too easy.”

“Better than nothing, thank you both.”

“No problem, if you ever need a hand, our guild is housed on the western edge of the city.”

Just like that we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways, the small crowds of people roaming the streets were full of different characters, and I was one of them.

Court wizards they said… Guess that’s a point to start off on, I started heading towards the castle, at least it is not hard to miss.

There is still plenty of sunlight left.

[loove-persevering]

On Tour (Shawn Mendes Imagine)

Description: Fighting with Shawn on tour!

 (This was really hard to write because I couldn’t figure out where to go with the fight, so thanks for every one who sent in ideas, Hope you all like it!) 

 The days seemed to drag on when you were on tour with Shawn, you loved being with him of course but spending hours upon hours traveling in a bus or a plane was not very ideal. Most nights Shawn would go out after a concert and celebrate especially the past few weeks, it seemed like you were always being left out. 

 Being on tour had been hard for you, your family played a major role in your life and to be away from them really just made you feel more alone. It was your second month on the road with Shawn, you still had a few more to go. Some nights it was harder than others and you never said anything to Shawn about how hard it was actually becoming, everyday you struggled to get out of bed and fake a smile. You felt drained, you were constantly tired and your body felt drained of all the life from how jet lagged you always seemed to be. Shawn recently started to complain a lot because you stopped coming to watch shows every night deciding to stay in the bus. 

 It wasn’t that you didn’t want to watch him perform, that was one of your favorite things to do that’s why you came on tour with him. But it seemed harder and harder to get out of bed everyday and that was starting to worry you. Shawn gave you everything you could dream of and more and you still couldn’t find many reasons to be happy, you loved Shawn and he was one of those reasons but lately he was added to your list of sadness.  

 You were laying curled up in bed the dark surrounding you when you heard the door slam and the bus began to shake, you heard voices outside of the room talking and then the bus shake again, ‘’Let me go change and we can go!’’ You hear Shawn yell to them. He walks through the door of the bus and closes it and you can hear him let out a huff of air sounding slightly annoyed, ‘’Really?’’ He asks. You sit up in the bed looking at him and clutching the blanket to your chest wanting to feel some sensation of warmth. ‘’You skipped another show to what? Sleep?’’ He asks, he takes his shirt off flinging it across the room and throws on another. 

‘‘I just haven’t been feeling good lately-’‘ You try and explain to him, if only he could see how much you were being eaten up inside. ‘‘I’m sorry,’‘ You say to him studying his face to see if he was mad or not. 

‘‘Just seems like it’s always something Y/N,’‘ Shawn says putting on a pair of shoes sitting at the edge of the bed, ‘‘I mean if you’re not gonna watch the show why are you even here?’‘ He asks and you felt a pang in your chest, why were you here? It didn’t seem like that hard of a question, you were here because you loved him and you wanted to be around him but lately he was always gone, leaving you to think which these days seemed a little dangerous.

 ‘’What’s that suppose to mean?’’ You ask him feeling slightly hurt by his accusations. 

 ‘’You just always seem to have excuses Y/N, you don’t want to do this, you can’t do this, your sick, tired whatever.’’ He states not even looking at you. 

‘‘You’re being an ass,’‘ You tell him actually feeling hurt by his words. ‘‘I can’t help it Shawn,’‘ You tell him. 

 ‘’Yes you can,’’ He says letting out a laugh of disbelief getting up from the bed and he turns to look at you, ‘’I just don’t see why you came if all you’re gonna do is sit in the bus all day and be lazy,’’ He says and your mouth drops at how rude he just came out to be. 

‘‘I came because I love you Shawn, you’re being a dick right now.’‘ You tell him, he had no idea. ‘‘But let me guess you’re going out with the guys tonight right? Again? What is that the fourth or fifth time this week?’‘ You ask him ready to let out all your bottled up anger. 

‘‘Why does that even matter?’‘ He asks harshly. ‘‘We go out and celebrate a successful night! I don’t need you to act like a babysitter or whatever,’‘ Shawn says turning around facing the door. 

‘‘Every night Shawn?’‘ You ask him this time a little more timidly. 

‘‘It’s not every night,’‘ He says turning around rolling his eyes. ‘‘What’s wrong with me going out?’‘ He asks hostility in his voice.

‘‘I don’t know,’‘ You tell him. ‘‘It’s just hard when you leave me alone.’‘ You tell him. You weren’t mad he was going out, this was literally the time of his life and you wanted him to experience it all. It felt like the reason you were mad wasn’t because he was going out having a good time but that he wasn’t going out with you. You couldn’t really blame him at the same time, you didn’t have to motivation, desire, or energy to go out. 

 ‘’Then come with me!’’ He yells. 

‘‘I can’t!’‘ You yell back at him. ‘‘It’s so hard Shawn,’‘ You admit. 

‘‘What’s so hard Y/N?’‘ He asks rolling his eyes. You watch him and the annoyed expression on his face, how much he seemed to not genuinely care. 

‘‘Nothing,’‘ You sigh, ‘‘Never mind, go have fun,’‘ you tell him. He looks at you for a few seconds studying you and then turns and walks out the door. You waited for a few minutes thinking maybe he would come back, say he was sorry and realize what he was missing but he never did. 

_______

It was a few hours later and the bus was suppose to leave at three AM and right now it was only eleven, you were on twitter and saw hundreds of tweets about Shawn at the bar. Some of them were just saying how good he looked others were saying he was with a girl, it was a lot of speculation but you felt yourself feel a little disappointed he was out right now. 

 You decided to stay in the other bus tonight, you asked one of the guys if they’d switch you that didn’t go out and they said yeah. You were just going to sleep in the common area of it all, wanting to be awake when we took off. You walked over to the other bus and went to sleep, when you woke up an hour later you heard yelling outside. 

 ‘’Where is Y/N?’’ You hear Shawn’s voice call out. 

You walk over and step off the bus looking around outside and then Shawn spots you, he walks over to you quickly and then embraces you in his arms. ‘’I was worried.’’ He states. 

You push him away gently, ‘’I’m gonna stay on the other bus tonight.’’ You tell him. 

‘‘Why?’‘ he asks glancing around and how quit a few people were starting at you. ‘‘Come with me,’‘ He says pulling you back to the original bus you were on taking you to the backroom. ‘‘Why would you stay in another bus?’‘ He asks. 

You sit down on the edge of the bed and he stands in front of you his arms crossed. ‘’I just don’t think it’s best were around each other right now..’’ You tell him and watch his face scrunch up in both disgust in confusion. ‘’I don’t know what’s wrong with me Shawn, I love you and I love being here with you but it’s hard. I’m away from my family, I’m constantly tired, I don’t want to leave bed.’’ You admit to him and you watch his expression turn to realization. 

‘‘You’ve been acting weird for a while, why haven’t you said anything?’‘ He asks taking a seat next to you.

‘‘I figured if something was wrong you’d be the one to pick up on it, I don’t know,’‘ You say shaking your head looking down lacing your fingers together. Shawn puts his hands on top of your and looks at you. ‘‘I’m sorry,’‘ You say once again. 

‘‘You don’t have to be sorry. I’m sorry that I haven’t been the best boyfriend lately, I should’ve noticed,’‘ He says now kicking himself a bit. ‘‘You can take a break you know, you didn’t sign up for all of this. I wouldn’t mind buying you tickets to go see your family.’‘ He says. 

‘‘I couldn’t ask you to do that,’‘ You tell him. 

‘‘I want to though, your mental health is important Y/N. If going home for a bit will help you then I have no problem doing it,’‘ He states.

‘‘Will you be mad?’‘ You ask glancing at him from the side of your eye, he laughs lightly and then you look up and he leans in giving you a quick kiss. 

‘‘I love you and I want you to feel better, if that means we don’t get to see each other for a while then I’ll miss you but we’ll be okay.’‘ He says squeezing your hand tightly. ‘‘I love you and I want you to be happy, I want us to have a good time so if you need to go and take some time for that to happen then I’ll wait.’‘ He says sincerely. 

‘‘You will?’‘ You ask him. 

‘‘I’d wait forever as long as I can see you happy again,’‘ He says smiling. 

OMG SORRY I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS LAST NIGHT BUT I GUESS NOT! Also I’ll prob be making more fics with some of the stuff you guys sent in! they were all super good ideas:)

[sunkissedjiaer]

Fling [3] / Jaebeom x Reader

Pairing: Jaebeom x Reader

Genre: College au

Warnings: strong language, sexual content, angst, & fluff

Word Count: 2.8k

Summary: “You definitely will not see me again that’s why it’s called a one night stand.”

Previous Parts: 01, 02,

-

As you walked out of your last class for the night you felt your shoulders relax and a sigh of relief escape your lips. Silently you scrolled through your phone as you walked towards your locker.

“Hey” a voice sounded

Looking up you saw Jaebeom leaning up against your locker, a smile spread across his face. You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself and grin at the boy.

“Why are you on campus?” you asked as you softly moved him aside

Quickly you tossed your books onto the small shelf within your locker. With a soft bang you shut the metal door and turned to Jaebeom, still waiting for an answer.

“It’s our da- friend date.” he corrected himself “I’m here to pick you up”

“Well duh” you joked “I meant why’d you come to my school and not the apartment?”

“I wanted to see it” he commented “I never actually went to college so to see the campus is weird but exciting”

“Sign up” you stated bluntly

Jaebeom raised an eyebrow and stared at you with a questionable look

“Our fall term starts in four weeks, if you send in an application now I seriously doubt they’d decline. You could go in for business or whatever fancies you”

The two of you stood quietly for a moment. Jaebeom never thought of going to college because he already had everything set up for him. When he turned twenty he was to take over the family business, there was never a need for an education. However, something about being able to see you almost everyday without needing an excuse made Jaebeom warm on the inside.

“I’ll think about it” Jaebeom spoke softly “let’s get going”

Jaebeom began walking out of the school and you quickly followed in step. As you walked all you could feel were eyes on you, something you weren’t use to.

“Don’t mind them” Jaebeom said with a smile as he looked down to you. You nodded not knowing what to say.

You didn’t mind the staring per say, you just didn’t want what was going to come after the staring. Pointless drama was going to come out of this because people can only assume the worst when it comes to Jaebeom. You enjoyed hanging out with Jaebeom as weird as it felt. You and him have only been friends for a short while but you never expected that you, of all people would actually want him around. He was definitely a weird character, everything he did was unexpected.

You went to reach for the passenger door handle when Jaebeom swooped in front of you and opened it swiftly. You eyed the cheeky boy and smiled “thank you”

“Anything for you” he grinned softly.

-

The two of you drove in silence. The sky began to grow darker and you began to grow more curious. You looked to Jaebeom then out the window and then slowly back to Jaebeom. You eyed his face for a moment before your eyes traveled down to his chest, you stared at his sweatshirt and then to where his hand was. Resting on the shift of the car, you stared at his hands for a moment too long.

They were big but not bulky, his fingers were slender and beautiful. You began to wonder what it would feel like to wrap your hand in his or what it would feel like to have his hands cup your cheeks. Quickly you shook the thoughts off and hoped he hadn’t noticed your staring.

“We’re here” he chimed

Jaebeom pulled the car over to the side of the dirt road and shut the ignition off.

“Is this the part where you kill me?” you joked half heartedly.

“Why do you think I would do that?”

“It’s always the pretty ones” you commented.

“I guess I better be cautious of you then” he grinned “come on let’s go”

The two of you exited the car and with a soft beep and two clicks Jaebeom locked the car up. You followed closely behind Jaebeom as the two of you walked down the dark dirt road. The farther you walked the more you began to hear.

There were faint sounds of laughing and music but most of all you could hear the sound of rushing water. As you came closer to the noise it got brighter, your eyes wandered and you began to make out where you were.

“This is the abandoned railway” you commented

You looked around at all the laughing people enjoying themselves. There were lamps everywhere and small fires for each small group. Different music blared from different areas of the railroad but it all came together in beat.

Jaebeom came to a halt but you were too caught up in the moment to realize, which caused you to smack right into his back. Rubbing your forehead you muttered sorry but he didn’t hear.

Turning to you Jaebeom smirked playfully “you like swimming?”

“Yes?” you said quizzically “why?”

Without warning Jaebeom began to strip right in front of you. Slowly he brought his shirt over his head and tossed it to the ground, his black hair slightly disheveled. You eyed the boy silently, taking in everything he was offering. You wanted to say something, anything, but nothing came out.

With a soft sigh Jaebeom unbuckled his pants and stepped out of them revealing his tight black boxers to you. You kept eye contact with the cheeky boy in front of you.

“Like what you see?” he joked

“I’m not looking at anything but your eyes, perv.”

“You’re missing out”

Two can play at this game.

Grabbing the hem of your shirt you slowly brought the cloth over your head revealing your bra. Throwing the shirt aside you smirked back at Jaebeom who was completely taken back. With a chuckle you unbuttoned your pants and slowly stepped out of them. As you took your legs out of each pant leg you kept direct eye contact with Jaebeom and he with you.

Standing straight up you dropped the pants onto the heap of clothes.

“Like what you see?” you mocked playfully

“Uh” Jaebeom coughed awkwardly “I’m not looking”

“Really? Cause I swear I saw you eyeing my boobs”

“Nope I can’t say that happened” Jaebeom laughed and moved away from you to catch his breath.

You walked closer to him and eyed the water below.

“Is there a place we go to get in the water or?” you asked

“We jump” Jaebeom laughed “from here”

You gulped slightly and eyed the boy standing besides you. You didn’t have a fear of heights but the water looked rough right now but you weren’t about to pussy out especially in front of Jaebeom, he’d never let you live it down.

“Am I going first?” he asked

“Please do the honors”

Jaebeom looked to you and sent an air kiss before jumping into the rushing water. A minute passed and he didn’t come up for air, you squinted but it was too dark to make anything else out except the waves.

“Jaebeom!” you shouted down.

You began to feel a sharp pain in your chest and without thinking you jumped off the rusted railway. The cold air of the night scratched against your body as gravity pulled you into the rushing water. With a loud splash the water devoured your body and the chillness of the river numbed you instantly.

Kicking with your legs you came to the surface quickly, it never felt so good to breathe. You looked around and you still couldn’t see Jaebeom. Cupping your mouth you continued to spin around

“Jaebeom” you shouted

No response.

You felt like you were about to cry from frustration and fear. As you went to yell his name again you felt hands on your hips. Jumping around you saw Jaebeom peeking his head out of the water, a grin playing on his lips.

You felt your lip quiver and your eyes heat up. Jaebeom dropped the grin and stood himself up, his face written in confusion.

“what?”

“You dick!” you yelled as you slapped Jaebeom’s chest “I was worried about your dumb ass”

Jaebeom couldn’t help but laugh softly “I’m sorry”

Eyeing him you let out a huff “I seriously doubt that.. Maybe you should just go over there and drown I’m seriously mad right now”

With a look of sympathy Jaebeom opened his arms wide and pulled you in for a hug. You felt your senses tingle and even though you were absolutely freezing your body felt hot. You tried to focus on the friendly hug from Jaebeom but you could only think of how his bare arms were wrapped around you and that his bare chest was pressed up against you,  bare skin-to-skin contact was not something you anticipated tonight but you also didn’t think he was gonna have you jump off a bridge.

Pulling away you smiled but your teeth quickly began to chatter uncontrollably.

“Are you really that cold?” Jaebeom asked

“Yep” you breathed “can we go somewhere warm?”

The two of you left the cold water and grabbed your clothes in bunches, as the two of you were too wet to put the clothes on. Your teeth continued to chatter all the way to Jaebeom’s place which is apparently what he thought you meant as ‘somewhere warm’.

“Here put this on” Jaebeom ordered as he threw his sweatshirt at you

“What’re you gonna wear?” you asked as you brought the sweatshirt over your shivering body.

“Nothin” he paused “I’ve walked through the lobby in worse attire”

“You mean the lack thereof?” you asked

“You get what I mean” he laughed “come on, let’s get in before you freeze to death”

The two of you stepped out of the car and semi-ran to the lobby. As you entered the front desk lady chuckled softly and Jaebeom waved to her awkwardly. Stepping lightly on the carpet the two of you entered into the elevator and stood silently. With three silent beeps indicating you were passing levels, the doors opened on level four, Jaebeom’s floor.

Turning his key lightly the door opened and the two of you walked into the dark condo.

“Watch your eyes” Jaebeom commented

“Hu-?”

Before you could finish Jaebeom flicked the light switches and all the lights within the condo quickly turned on. You winced slightly at the sudden light but your eyes quickly adjusted. You followed Jaebeom into his room silently and stood next to the bed awkwardly.

“I don’t think any of my clothes will actually fit you” Jaebeom grinned at you “so I’ll just grab you a pair of sweatpants and a dry sweatshirt”

“T-this one is fine, really” you commented

“It’s not wet?” he asked as he approached you.

Jaebeom grabbed the sweatshirts collar in his knuckles, he touched the fabric lightly and rubbed it between his fingers slowly. His eyes traveled from his hands to your face and he stood there silently staring at you.

“R-really” you stuttered “it’s fine.. See? All dry..”

“Why’re you stuttering?” Jaebeom chuckled “are you nervous?”

“Why would I be nervous?” you asked

“Because I’m standing here in front of you. Invading your space. I mean our noses could be touching if I bent down slightly”

“Then don’t bend down”

“Ouch” Jaebeom winced as he clutched his chest “that hurts y/n”

“Oh jesus” you breathed “stop being dramatic”

The room fell awkwardly silent, you could sense there was something he wasn’t saying. Looking up at him you paused, what if what he wanted to say was something you weren’t ready for?

“Is there something on your mind?” you asked softly.

“Is it that obvious?” he chuckled “but yeah.. There’s something that’s been weighing on me lately.”

Slowly you sat down on the bed and motioned for Jaebeom to sit next to you. His eyes switched from looking at you to looking at the bed. Moments passed and he finally sat himself down.

“Get talking” you chuckled “we got all night”

Jaebeom began to twiddle with his thumbs nervously. You noticed how he softly would clench and unclench his jaw, as if what he was about to say was too hard for him to put into words.

“y/n.. I know you said you wanted to start out as friends and obviously I’m trying my best because I enjoy being with you but I can’t pretend that my feelings towards you are strictly platonic.”

Looking up from his hands, Jaebeom eyed you softly.

“I understand where you’re coming from, you want to make sure I’m not gonna use you, hurt you, or whatever else runs through your mind when it comes to me. I’ll admit, I don’t have the best reputation when it comes to relationships, I tend to mess around a lot but you’re different in the sense of how you make me feel.”

You felt your face begin to heat up, with every word that Jaebeom slowly spoke you began to realize how you felt towards him.

“All those other girls, they never put me in my place like you do. They never really made me reflect or work for what I wanted. I hope what I’m saying let’s you understand what I’m feeling.. If not I can put it into a simpler perspective for you.”

“I get what you’re saying.. But what’s the simpler perspective?”

Turning his body to you Jaebeom breathed out slowly and looked you dead in the eye.

“I like you a lot and I want more than a friendship with you and I don’t think I can sit here and act like your best bro when I’m not.”

“Okay.” you exhaled slowly, you tried to find your words but you couldn't.

“Is that all you’re going to say?” Jaebeom paused “you’re just gonna say okay? After what I just spilled out to you.. I-”

“Kiss me.”

Jaebeom took a double-take when those words set in “what?”

“I said, kiss me”

Without hesitation Jaebeom quickly leaned in, his hands wrapped around your face, pulling you forward, allowing the two of you to meet in the middle. His lips merged with yours igniting a sensation in your gut that you’ve never felt before. In this moment you felt like melting into Jaebeom’s hands, the way he held your face and kissed your lips made you turn into putty.

Slowly the two of you pulled away, silently gasping for air. You gulped nervously and looked to Jaebeom for words but he was at a loss for them.

“What’s this mean?” he finally spoke, his words slightly shaken.

“Uh” you breathed “I don’t know.”

“I’m okay with that” he chuckled “I just want to be with you.”

“Actually?” you commented “I don’t want to give every fiber of my being to you just to have to watch you walk away from me in the end. I will not set myself up for failure, not with you.”

Jaebeom sat silently taking in your words and understanding what you were saying. He felt confident in himself and with you. He would do better if it meant having you by his side.

“I would be honored to be able to call you mine, officially or behind closed doors. Whatever makes you comfortable.”

“What would be safer?”

“In terms of?” he asked confused

“Do you not realize how popular you are?” you laughed “I don’t want to be eaten alive by journalists or gossip pages.”

“I’ll eat-”

“Jaebeom!” you gasped “I’m being serious..”

The two of you chuckled, “we’ll make it work, I promise.” he spoke warmly

“Okay” you grinned “good”

“Sooo” Jaebeom hummed “do I get to officially ask you to be my girlfriend or is it already kind of set in stone?”

You began to laugh softly “you can if you want to”

“Okay then” Jaebeom smiled as he sat himself up straight “will you, y/n, take the title and duties of being my girlfriend?”

Nodding happily you smiled “yes I would happily do so”

Jaebeom leaned in and planted a soft, warm, kiss onto your forehead.

“Bed time?” he muttered

“Yes please” you nodded.

You slid yourself under the covers and snuggled into the comforter. Jaebeom shut the light off and took a running jump into the bed causing you to fly off the mattress for a second before dropping back into the soft material.

“Did I get some good air with that jump?” he chuckled as he got under the covers

“I couldn’t really see because it’s dark but since I flew for a moment I think you did pretty well”

The two of you chuckled before it fell silent. The only sound was that of your guys’ breathing.

“Hey” Jaebeom piped up “remember when we fucked here in this very bed?”

“Shut up” you joked as you slapped Jaebeom “go to bed”

Rubbing his arm slowly Jaebeom pouted “fine, meanie”

[to be continued]

[poedamern]

Can you do an angst fic of mena? Rewrite the stars inspired

PAIRING: Mena x Female Reader / LENGTH: 2.3k / DISCLAIMER: Gif is not mine! / NOTE: i listened to this song a hundred times to really have this fic be inspired by it so i hope you like it! / WARNINGS: cursing, fighting, angst, oof angst, slightly happy ending though. 

You know I want you, It’s not a secret I try to hide.But I can’t have you, We’re bound to break and my hands are tied.

“There’s been a lot of controversy about your chemistry with Mena.” The interviewer grills into you, as a fellow actor, you were used to the interrogation style of interviews but this was personal. “Has there?” You ask seemingly oblivious, though, you know better. You see the notifications flood in everyday, the hate that gets thrown your way because people never stop thinking and talking about how ‘unfit’ you were for the role, how shit of an actor you would be for the film as well as the relationship between you and Mena. To the public, you were co-workers for Mena’s next project after Aladdin but in private, there was a stronger connection. Paparazzi got one good photo of you two and it was the end. Fans hated you for no reason other than you were friends with Mena. “Do you think the movie producers made the right call to make you Character’s/N?” – “Well of course. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t the right call.” Frustration settles in, feeling the burn of anger swell in your chest. “Why do you think people criticise your role?” Clenching your fists together, you’re close to jumping at the interviewer across from you. “They can criticise as much as they like but nothing’s official until you’ve seen the movie. Thank you for your time.” You cut the interview short and stand out of your chair, making your way back to the green room. 

Without second thought, ignoring all requests from your manager and producers, you head into the bathroom, taking your phone with you and shutting yourself into the closest stall. Bringing your phone up to your ear you listen. ring, ring. ring, ring. – “Hey, what’s up? Aren’t you doing press right now?” Mena sounds worried. “I just, needed a break – missed talking to you.” You couldn’t tell him the truth, it would break his heart, yours as well. “Well that’s cute.” A smile grows on your lips, feeling his voice calm you down. “Shut up. You’re making me want to keep my thoughts to myself.” The words slip out, becoming aware of how ironic it was. “Now that would just be wrong, you know that. But while I’ve got you–” You hear Mena walking around his place, you assume, it sounds like he’s cleaning or cooking. “How does dinner at 8 sound?” You almost fall back into the bathroom stall hearing that. You two had never gone on an actual date before, it causes you to feel excited, a brief silver-lining before reality kicks in and the pessimistic thoughts flood your mind. “8 sounds good.” – “Y/N! We need you back on press!” Your manager yells. “I have to go.” You sigh. “See you later then okay?” – “Mhm.” You hum before hanging up. How in the world were you going to do this? You wanted to enjoy your time with Mena but doing so while the world was at your throat was crushing you.  

-

Six hours later, finally finished with work you make your way to the location Mena sent you for dinner, the nerves started to kick in as you walked through the front doors. It only took you moments to see where Mena was sitting, watching as he waved you down. “Y/N!” He hugs you as you reach the table, you melt into the embrace and pull back with a smile. “Here I was thinking you might not make it.” His words cause your worries to grow. “I would never leave you alone like that. Do I look like someone who would do that?” You say, taking a seat at the table. “Well no but you’ve been kind of stressed lately, I just want you to be happy.” Mena shrugs his shoulders, taking a seat across from you. Be happy. Well for Mena, be happy it was. You spend the next hour or so having a few drinks and ordering your food, talking about the latest project and how everything was. It seemed easy, natural. Your problems seemed to fade away the longer you were with Mena. But it was too good to be true.  

-

“Mena, Y/N! Look here!” Flash, flash. “Are you guys dating? Come on pretty lady, smile for us!” The paparazzi comes in closer to your face. Feeling sick to your stomach, you jump up to your feet as Mena tries to calm the paparazzi down, being his polite self, as always. But not you, not today, not ever, never. You repeat the words in your mind as you storm off, leaving dinner and Mena behind. You’re halfway out the door before Mena grabs your hand, stopping you. “Y/N, It’s okay, we’ll leave together.” – “No. Don’t. Just don’t. Mena. We both know it will never work.” – “What are you talking about?” You watch as the paparazzi catch up to you two, taking pictures of everything that was unfolding. Pulling your hand away from Mena you shout. “I won’t let them ruin your career like they’re ruining mine!” The sound of your own voice catches you off guard, scaring you. It didn’t sound anything like you. Tears swell in your eyes and the hurt you see in Mena’s sends waves of regret and guilt through you. Trying not to make more of a scene you walk off, head down and grab the closest taxi straight to home. The paparazzi are persistant and follow you to the door, continuing to yell questions and statements, disregarding any common sense. “Bad date?” The cab driver asks as you jump in, slightly startled by the crowd of paparazzi before driving off down the road. Turning to look out the window, you see Mena standing alone at the restaurant, watching you drive off. It feels like a stab in the heart. “Bad would be better than this.” You mumble under your breath. 

–

“I haven’t heard from her in weeks.” Mena says to Naomi, sitting across from each other on his couch. “Ruin her career? What does that even mean?” Mena asks, ripping up a random piece of paper he had laying on his coffee table, a current representation for his state of mind. “She must be worried.” Naomi sighs. “Worried?” Mena gives Naomi a confused look. “For you.” She corrects him. “Everything she’s done is an obvious sign of doing what’s best for you and not for her. Has that not crossed your mind?” Naomi almost seems disappointed. “Well– No. I just want what’s best for her but I don’t know how to do that.” Mena runs his hands through his hair. “I need to do something otherwise I’ll lose her forever. I can’t do that. I can’t.” Noami stands from her spot and places a hand on Mena’s shoulder. “Then go to her. If you don’t both of you will be worse off without it.” 

-

Your phone goes off in your lap. 

NAOMI ––– Are you home?YOU ––– … Why? NAOMI ––– That’s all I need to know! 

All you wanted to do was wallow in your sadness and live as a hermit on your couch, what exactly was Naomi planning? It couldn’t be good. The next thing you hear is the doorbell. Looking a mess, you grab your dressing gown and tie your hair up before making your way to do the door, opening it hesitantly. 

Of course. Of fucking course. Why would she do anything different? You should’ve seen this coming from miles away. “What are you doing here?” You ask, sounding threatened. You see Mena standing in front of the doorway, nervous, hesitant just like you. It was obvious she convinced him to come over here, knowing he was scared of what the outcome would be. “Can I come in?” He asks, his voice soft, low. With a harsh sigh you swing open the door, letting him come in and close the door behind him, making your way back to the couch. The silence is deafening, only the sound of his shoes against the tilted floors echoing in the living room. You had nothing yet also everything to say but how do you even begin? I love you but the world hates us? I want to be with you but being with you is crumbling me into a pile of nothing? It was all hopeless, to you at least. 

“I’m sorry–” Mena starts but you interrupt him, staring at the floor. “Why?” – “Why? I’m here? Well, because I care about you and–” “Why? Why me? Out of all the people you know, out of all the opportunities that come your way and success you have, why me?” Tears swell once again, taking a deep breath you try to blink away the tears. For the first time since you opened the door, you look up at Mena, his usual worried look has turned darker, sadder. He sighs, looking from you to the floor. “People don’t get to choose who they love.” Love. The word rings in your ears. “But you can choose to live a better life. Without me.” Your last words come out in a broken mess. Mena takes a step closer to you but you stand and yell. “Don’t! Don’t do it. If you want to do something for me then stop loving me! You don’t deserve it!” 

Mena ignores you, grabbing you haphazardly and pulls you into his chest. “Let go of me!”  Hitting your hands against his chest, you try to get away from him. “You don’t fucking get it do you!? It’s so easy for you, so simple. The world loves you while they want me gone!” He closes his eyes and takes the hits, only flinching slightly at the punches before you swing your hand, slapping him right across the face. The hit shocks him, causing him to stumble back. With your hand burning from the harsh contact, you look down and the tears won’t stop, your vision blurry as you look back up at Mena. “I-I’m. Holy shit. I’m sorry. I’m a monster.” You feel like breaking down but the pain you’ve inflicted on Mena takes priority. You drop everything and run to the kitchen, taking a towel and putting ice cubs inside of it. You take your hair tie out and use it to tie the towel up so the ice is secure. You turn to run back but Mena’s already sitting at the kitchen counter, still in a state of shock. 

“You aren’t a monster.” He manages to mumble as you take a seat next to him, placing the bag of ice on his cheek. You haven’t stopped crying and with his words you weren’t going to stop either. “But I am. I just– Look what I did, all because I was scared.” You sniff through your words. “You’re human.” He rebuts, a hand coming to rest on your knee, squeezing it lightly. “I should’ve seen it. should’ve been more aware. You see such an ugly side of the world that I haven’t experienced. It was naive of me to think we could work without issues.” He exhales softly, grabbing the bag of ice from you and setting it on the counter. “But as much as the world may not want us together, I do. Cause you’re the one I was meant to find, Y/N.” His eyes lock with your own. “You’ve brought me so much happiness into my life and the only time there hasn’t is because how others have treated you. I know you’re scared. I know it’s hard. But no one gets to say who we get to be.” 

The words fall over you like a tonne of bricks, the weight in your chest compressing until it explodes. Sobbing, you lean forward into Mena’s shoulder, feeling your tears soak into the thin fabric of his shirt. “Everyday I wake to a living nightmare, it’s terrifying. I wish I didn’t think so much about it but you know I want you, It’s not a secret I try to hide.” You sigh, grabbing a hold of his hand, interlacing it with your own. “I just want you to live your best life. For some reason I believe you can only do that without me.” – “You’d be wrong.” He reassures you, his arm wrapping around your shoulders, bringing you closer to him. “We love each other, we should be able to show it, at least to each other. And I’ll be here every day to fight those nightmares and to reassure you I’m not going anywhere. I love you for you. No matter what. No matter how long it takes.” He lifts your head with his hand, making you look up at him. “All I need is for you to think that its possible. A glimpse of hope, something.” He leans forward, pressing his forehead against your own. 

You think it over, eyes never leaving his own as your tears start to slowly dry on your cheeks. “How about a silver lining?” You ask, almost in a whisper. Mena smiles, eyes closing in a sense of relief. “I can work with a silver lining.” He mumbles, pressing a small kiss to the tip of your nose. “But first.” You grab the ice pack and press it back against his cheek, causing him to laugh under his breath. Smiling, you haven’t felt this safe with him in a very long time. You hope one day you’ll be able to feel that way not between four walls, in secret but out in the world. “Y/N.” – “Hm?” Mena opens his eyes, forehead still pressed against your own. “I promise, we will make this work. Us against the world.” – “Us against the world. I promise too.” You say, relaxing in his embrace. Maybe you two could really rewrite the stars. 

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Camping Prt 3 - AustonxAshley

A/N: I posted this on the wrong fucking tumblr because I’m an idiot but here you go yall. sorry for not posting for a while, life is kicking my ass.

The alarm went off at 7:30. I turned it off with a groan going over to open the curtain to let light in. Auston as per usual was still sleeping. I took a few minutes to shower and get ready for the day. After I was completely finished getting ready I went over to Marly’s room to wake her up only to find her sitting up awake already.

“Hi darling whatcha doin?”

“I was waiting for someone to wake up. I’m very excited.”

“How long have you been up?”

“Since the big hand was at the 5.”

“Silly girl you’re going to be sleepy today once we get there and start setting up camp.”

“No I won’t I promise mommy!”

“Okay Marly, we’ll see. How about we get ready to go and then we can go wake up daddy?”

“Okay!” I helped her get dressed in some cute flower shorts and a bluejays t-shirt. I put her light brown hair up in two french braids and helped her tie on her hiking boots.

“Look at my happy little camper! You looks so cute Marzbar.”

“Thank you Mommy. Can we go wake up Daddy now?”

“Of course what are we waiting for?” we tiptoed down the hall together, Marly giggling the whole way there, and once we got to my room we turned on the light and started jumping on him and the bed yelling.

“Daddydaddydaddydaddy waaaaake up!!!!” Marly yelled shaking him as hard as her little 3 year old body could manage.

“Marlyyyyy get off.”

“Aus, be nice. She’s very excited. Get out of bed. Get in the shower.”

“Yeah!” Marly yelled making Auston laugh.

“You think that’s what I should do huh?”

“Yes. Mommy’s the boss.”

“You’re right as ever. She is the boss.” he let out a very over dramatic sigh. “I guuuuess I’ll get up and get ready to go. You go get some snacks to bring in the car okay?”

“Okay!” She ran out of the room.

“She looks so damn cute.” he said after she left.

“I knooooow! Auston I’m so excited come on so we can get going I actually can’t wait!” I say to him very quickly and mumbled together.

“Now you look so damn cute. All excited and happy to share your favourite thing with me and Marly.” he said brushing a piece of hair out of my face before kissing me softy. I push him away though.

“I love you but GO. GET. READY.” I crawled over behind him and started pushing him up. He groaned but got up anyway. I smacked his butt of course, as I do. “Go team.” I winked running out of the room to go find Marly.

“Mommy do I have to have only healthy snacks?”

“It’s morning time darling, I would prefer it. We’ll be there before lunch time.”

“Okay.” I go through all my lists to make sure we’ve got everything. “Mommy is applesauce a car snack?”

“Not with Daddy in the car it’s not.”

“Excuse me?” Auston asked from the kitchen door.

“What?” I asked pretending to be oblivious as he boxed me in against the counter with his arms.

“Did I just hear you say that Marly eats applesauce in the car when I’m not there with you?”

“Um no you probably did not hear that at all.”

“You’re both lucky I love you so much.” he leans back and grabs his keys from the hook. “Are we ready to go?”

“I’m good to go what about you guys?” they both nodded to me. “Marly go to the bathroom.”

“Uuugh mommy I don’t have to let’s just goooo!”

“Marly Marie-Paul stop whining. Go to the bathroom right now quick before we leave.” Auston said and she just sighed and left, she wasn’t going to fight with Auston. A few minutes later Marly is strapped in and we are on the road listening to my celtic thunder inspirational cd full blast. Marly and I were singing loudly together while Auston just smiled at us. From the ground up came on a little while later after Marly was taking a nap. I took Auston’s hand and held it up to my face and kissed it while I sang the song looking at him.

“I love you so so much Auston. More and more everyday. You don’t even understand.”

“I love you too baby. Someday we’ll be just like that pretty song. We’ve already got a head start. A beautiful baby looks just like you.” 

“Stooop.” I said smiling big and blushing at him.

“Cutiepie.” he kissed my hand this time. “Can we listen to something else now?”

“Yeah sure.”

“I think you’re playlists are all on my spotify if you want to pick something from there.” 

“Why are all my playlists on there?” I ask scrunching my face in confusion looking through them all.

“I like to listen to your music while I’m away. It feels like you and Marly are there with me singing and dancing in the other room like at home.”

“Aus, that might be the most precious thing I’ve ever heard in my life. You make my heart so happy.”

“Good I’m glad. You do that to me too you know. Make my heart all happy.”

“Can I put on the 80’s playlist?”

“Of course cutie.” we listened to it for a while until Billie Jean came on and Marly woke up.

“I knew I heard Billie Jean!”

“Good morning sleeping beauty.” Auston said chuckling at his daughter. Marly and I both sang along to more of the songs until Wham came on and Marly squealed in her seat kicking her little feet.

“I loooove this one!” 

“I know you do baby.”

“Miss Marly if there are little footprints on the back of my seat I’m not going to be very happy.”

“Would you believe that Uncle Mitch made them?”

“No.”

“Okay.” I saw out of the corner of my eye her quickly brush them off his seat. “Mommy will you turn it up?”

“Of course darling.” I cranked it, getting an annoyed look from Auston but that look look quickly disappeared and turned into a smile when he heard Marly start singing.

“You put the boom boom into my heart!” She sings at the top of her lungs. “Wake me up before you go-go, cuz I’m not planning on going solo.” I joined her for that part and we sang loudly to the rest of the song with Auston looking at us fondly. He eventually started singing along with us at the end. I always loved it when Auston just let go and had fun and sang along with us. It made me the happiest because it meant he was relaxed and not stressing.

“Okayokayokay who’s ready for some Don’t Stop Believing?”

“ME!!!!” Marly squealed again.

“Aus?”

“Oh you best believe I’m ready.” he said shaking his head laughing.

We all had a lot of fun singing loudly with the windows down driving down the road. Marly was doing air instruments in the back which made us laugh.

“Okay Marly we’re getting pretty close.”

“Yay!!!”

“We have to look out though. There are santa signs. You gotta watch for them and let us know when you see them okay?”

“Okay I can do it!”

“Can we listen to the b-52’s before we get there?” Auston asked quietly.

“Of course baby.” I put on love shack and Aus started singing along in funny voices making Marly laugh so hard I thought she was gonna pee her pants. I took a little video of it because it made my day and I wanted to remember it. When rock lobster came on though then I was having a lot of fun doing a little dance in my seat.

“What in the world are you doing Ash?”

“It’s a dance I learned in scouts.”

“Can we listen to THE song?” Marly asked with a giggle.

“What is THE song?” Auston asked raising an eyebrow.

“We sure can Marly. Daddy will love it.” I put on living on a prayer and Auston just stared at me.

“Oh my goooood.” he groaned making Marly laugh. “Ash I swear to god..”

“Too bad uncle Mitch isn’t here huh Daddy?” Marly said reaching to pat his arm with her little hand.

“Be quiet, you rugrat.” he said laughing with her. “Will I ever be able to get away from this song?”

“Nope.”

“Hey! Are you recording this?”

“Maaaaaybe.”

“Fuck it whatever.”he said and Marly yelled “Bad word Daddy!” but Auston just sang over her making her quickly forget about it.

“Mommy we can’t let him sing by himself!” and with that I turned the camera so that all of us could be seen and we all sang loudly.

“We love yoooou.” I said to Auston after the song was done.

“Yeah well lucky for you two  I love you more than anything.”

“Mommy I just saw a santa sign!!!”

“Oooh we’re getting close! Are you excited Marly?!”

“Yes yes yes!!! I can’t wait!” she clapped her hands being an absolute cutie looking out the window. The car was quiet again until she started yelling the words of bohemian rhapsody. “Thunderbolts and lightning very very frightening! LET ME GOOOOO MAMA MIA MAMA MIA. FOR ME FOR FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEE!” 

“Oh my good god!” I exclaimed laughing so hard I was crying.

“She’s so you’re kid.” Auston said laughing too.

“Marly I love you so much.”

“I love you too Mommy.”

“Oh baby look at the houses!”

“They’re chistmas houses!!”

“We’re on the road that gets us right to the campsite!”

“YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!”

“Aus stop up here so we can get signed in and stuff okay?”

“Alright sure.” he pulls up and I get unbuckled. 

“Can I come in?”

“Of course hun. Auston will you come too? I can’t carry the firewood back to the car.”

“Yeah for sure babe.” I got out and went around to get Marly out of her seat. I kept her up on my hip while he went into the main office. We got checked in relatively quickly and the girl gave me a map to show where to go to get to the campsite. She kept eyeing Auston but I didn’t really care, lots of people eyed my boyfriend all the time. He was Auston Matthews, it was to be expected. We got firewood and listened to the rules before we left and got back in the car and drive through the camp to our site. We were relatively out of the way which he liked and had wanted. 

“Okay guys, welcome to your first camping experience! This is going to be our home for the next few days.”

“Wow! This is so pretty Mommy!”

“I know! This is the same campsite I stayed at when I came when I was 6.”

“Wooooooah! That’s so neat!”

“Yeah we’re close to bathroom’s, showers, the pool, there’s a big field right over there, and a playground not too far away. It’s great!”

“That sounds perfect Ash.” Auston said smiling at me as he started unloading the car. “What do we need out right now?”

“Um the tent first. And the ropes and stuff.”

“Okay sure.” I took out the tarp and laid it on the ground.

“What are you doing mommy?”

“I don’t want the tent to get a hole in it so I’m gonna spread this tarp so if there’s any sticks it won’t ruin our stuff.”

“Can I help?”

“Of course! Here take a corner.” we got it all spread out and I got the tent unrolled on the tarp. Marly was excited and having a good time and when I looked up to see how Auston was liking it he was leaning on the car on his phone. Marly noticed me looking at him and got sad.

“Why doesn’t daddy want to help us? He’s just on his phone..” she asked pouting.

“I don’t know Marzbar. Let me go talk to him.”

“Okay..” she was sitting on the tarp looking kinda bummed out.

“Hey what’s up babe?” he asked as I got closer.

“What’s up with you? Why won’t you come help us?”

“What?”

“Marly is bummed out and sad because you won’t come help us. That you’re too busy on the phone to spend time with us. What’s so important right now?” I asked crossing my arms.

“I was just texting the guys..”

“Aus come on. What is the problem?”

“I just-” he let out a big sigh. “I just don’t know how to do any of this. I feel useless and I don’t know how to help. I’m not helping because I don’t know what to do and it feels weird for once to be the one who isn’t 100% sure of what’s going on.”

“Auston that’s crazy.” I pulled him in for a hug. “We’re here so that you can learn. Of course you don’t know how, I’m going to teach you. No one is here to laugh at you or make you feel bad. We want to all have fun together as a family without distractions.”

“And by distractions you mean phone right?”

“The boys can last a week without being in constant contact babe. As a matter of fact I want to do something. Gimme your phone.”

“What?!”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“Yeah I guess.” he hands it over and I send out a big group message telling the boys Auston is not going to be able to be reached for the next 7 days. I changed the setting to airplane and I changed his passcode.

“Here you go. A very expensive clock/camera.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes. I want you to be in this moment with us. It’s important to me that you’re present and not missing out on this.”

“If it’s important to you okay. I’ll do it. Now how can I help?” we smiled at each other and I dragged him over to Marly who got a big smile on her face and came to hug him. 

“Alright guys let’s start with the poles first. Just grab them and click them in. Be careful not to pinch your fingers Marly.” I showed them how to do it and we all did it fairly easily. Once we were done Marly lifted hers over her head and started hitting Auston making lightsaber noises. “She’s so your kid.” I say chuckling. “Okay now for the slightly harder part. We have to put the poles in the sleeves. Aus help Marly with hers.” we got the poles in and I tied the top while they clipped the sides. We hooked one of the poles in and Auston had to do a lot of helping to get the other one in but once we did, our tents main room was standing. We did a similar process to the entrance way. Once we we were done that Marly went around and hammered in the pegs to hold the tent down while I took pictures of her with my camera. Once that was done we had to put the tarp on the top of the tent.

“Why do we have to do this mommy?”

“So that if it rains we don’t get wet while we’re sleeping.”

“Oooh that makes sense.”

“I’m glad you think so.” we struggled with that part the most and after about 20 minutes, a lot of laughter, and one bathroom break for Marly we were done setting up the tent.

“Mommy can I play?”

“Of course Marly. Come here first though so I can put bug spray on you okay?”

“I guess. But I don’t like the smell.”

“I know it’s not very nice but it’ll help keep the bugs away from you so you aren’t itchy.”

“Alright.”

“Cover your face with your hands and spin around for me.” she did as she was told and I sprayed her down with the bug spray. “Okay if you go into the car your backpack is in there and there are toys in there for you.” with that I sent her off. She took her bag from the car then went and sat under a tree with some of her Barbies. “Auston do you want to learn a knot so we can hang this clothesline?” 

“Um sure but why do we need a clothesline?”

“For our towels and bathing suits silly. We don’t have a dryer here.”

“That’s fair enough. Teach me your ways babe.”

“Okay so this is a Siberian hitch. We’re gonna tie this at one end and a variation of a slipknot on the other tree over there.” I taught him how to do the knots. He wasn’t very good at it but with a few rounds of practice and lots of reassurance and support he got it and we got the clothesline up and secure. “Good job baby.” 

“Why thank you. I have a good teacher.” I gave him a kiss and we went back to the car to start unloading other gear

“Marly come here sweetpea!” I called from inside the tent.

“I’m coming!!” she ran over to the tent door.

“Okay so tent rule number one: Take off your shoes miss missy.”

“Ugh but we’re OUTSIDE!” She said whining a little bit.

“Hey now. We might be outside but we’re sleeping in here. Do you want to sleep on mud?”

“No I guess not..” she sat down on the tarp that was poking out and took her shoes off before crawling in and sitting in front of me. “Now what?”

“Tent rule number two: No food in the tent. We do not want raccoons or skunks in our tent got it?”

“Got it.”

“Tent rule number three: No fire lantern inside.”

“Okay.”

“In fact campsite rule: Marly’s are not allowed to play with the fire things.”

“Boooo.” she crossed her arms.

“Hey no boo listen to your mother.” Auston said opening the tent zipper. He came in and left the door wide open.

“Tent rule number four: Do not leave the door open. Close it as soon as you get in. We want no mosquitos in our tent while we sleep. We will wake up very very itchy.”

“Okay Ash this seems like a lot of rules.”

“Auston you’re gonna be hatin it if you don’t listen.”

“Uuugh fiiiiine.” he said rolling his head back as Marly went to go sit on his lap. “We’ll listen to mommy won’t we Marzbar?”

“I suppoooose.” she said leaning her head back too.

“You guys are nuts.” I said rolling my eyes laughing at them. “Okay Marly what side of the tent belongs to you?”

“I get to choose?”

“Yup which side do you want?” she gets up and walks around the tent one arm crossed and the other tapping her chin with one finger while she looked for the best side.

“I want this one. There’s a pocket for my light and my dolls.” she said touching the pocket.

“Okay baby you can have that side. Do you want to set up your side?”

“Yeah!” 

“Aus can you go get the mattresses and the air pump? I don’t know where you packed them.”

“Yeah for sure babe.”

“Oh and the Extension cord!” I called out the tent.

“Will do. I’ll plug it in too.”

“You wanna hear a funny story Marly?”

“Sure Mommy.”

“Okay so the first time I came here to camp I was six years old and Aunt Amy was four. It was our first time camping so we were a little unprepared. Grandma and Grandpa bought me and Aunt Amy pool floaties to sleep on instead of air mattresses because we couldn’t afford them. So we had little pool toys to sleep on. We had to go over and blow them up over by the bathroom too. So every night we went marching like little ants with these things balancing on our heads so it wouldn’t drag on the ground.”

“How come Uncle Josh didn’t go?”

“He wasn’t born yet baby.”

“Oooh gotcha.” 

“Okay here’s all the stuff Ash.”

“Thanks bean. Let’s set stuff up shall we Marzbar?”

“We shall.”

“And what will I do?” Auston asked.

“Sit there and look pretty.” I said sticking my tongue out at him.

“Hmm not so easy since you two are the pretty ones but I guess I could try.”

“You’re a goof.” I say throwing his pillow at him laughing.

Marly and I finally got the air mattresses blown up. It was made harder by Auston being a nuisance. He kept unplugging the pump and blowing the air into Marly’s face as well as laying on them before I got the plug in.

“Daddy stoooop!” “AUSTON!” me and Marly yelled at the same time as he did it to us again. He was dying of laughter but we were not having as good of a time.

“I’m sorry guys I’m just having fun.”

“It’s okay Daddy it’s not your fault you’re annoying.” I died. Me and Auston were both laughing so hard at that comment.

“And who’s fault is it babygirl?”

“Uncle Mitch.”

“I believe that 100%.” I said still giggling. We got all our stuff figured out and our beds setup. “Do you guys want to go swimming?”

“Yeah yeah yeah!!” Marly exclaimed.

“Shouldn’t we eat first it’s getting close to lunch time..” Auston said looking at his phone.

“Marz, you hungry?”

“Nope.”

“Then nope.”

“Wait but-what?” Auston asked all confused.

“Don’t worry about what time it actually is. We eat when we’re hungry, we sleep when we’re sleepy. That’s how camping works. The only time we need to know the time is for Santa’s village and campsite activities.”

“So we’re following no schedule?”

“Absolutely none whatsoever.” I say giving him a kiss. I helped Marly get changed then went into my sleeping bag to get changed.

“Ash what in the world are you doing?”

“Changing.”

“We could leave.”

“It’s fine.”

“There’s literally a bathroom not 40 feet away from us.”

“I know.”

“You can’t get changed completely under a bag.”

“Yes I can. You’d be surprised what I can do in a sleeping bag.”

“You’re ridiculous. Completely and utterly ridiculous. But I love you to pieces.”

“Love yooou.” I got out of the sleeping bag fully changed. “Let’s go Marly so Daddy can get changed too.”

“Okay Mommy.” we exit the tent and she started walking around 

“Marly come here and put sunscreen on.”

“I don’t wanna.” she said stomping her foot and crossing her arms. 

“We’re gonna go swimming you need to protect yourself from the sun sweetpea.”

“I gueeesss.”

“Good girl.” I made sure she was completely covered before starting on myself. Auston came out of the tent and my jaw dropped as always. I went over to him, put my hands around his waist and looked up at him. “Hey, hey, hey babe. What’s cans spelled backwards?”

“Sssnac-oh my god.” he laughed and rolled his eyes.

“YEAH BOI CUZ YOU LOOKIN LIKE ONE.”

“You’re annoying. Let’s go swimming.”

“Not so fast Auston put some sunscreen on.”

“Pfft I don’t need sunscreen I’m The Auston Matthews.”

“Wow Marly imagine that. Daddy thinks he’s tougher than the sun.” both of us beside each other are crossing our arms.

“That’s funny. Nice try Daddy. Nothing is tougher than the sun.”

“You guys are both annoying.”

“If you don’t put it on we’ll spray you with it in weird patterns.” I say. “Then not only do you get sunburnt still, but it’ll be incredibly uneven.”

“Fine I’ll put it on.” he mumbled rubbing the white lotion on his skin. “You guys are no fun.”

“I know.” Marly said laughing.

“You guys look awful cute you know. In your matching bathing suits. I like them. Can I take a picture of you guys before we go over?”

“Sure baby.” I said giving him a kiss on the head. He went back into the tent to get his phone and then me and Marly posed for him for a couple pictures.

“Enough Daddy.”

“Have you had enough?”

“Yes. I want to swim.” 

“Okay sweetie let’s go.” I put towels, phones, and keys in my backpack. I grabbed my pool noodle and Marly’s toy before we make our trek over to the pool.

“Ash do you seriously need the noodle? I thought you could swim now?”

“Aus I like the noodle. Leave me be. You taught me kind of. I still feel better with a noodle though.”

“Even Marly can swim..” he mumbled quietly.

“Yeah because she’s been in lessons.” I eased into the water which was a little bit cold but not too bad. “Come here Marly.”

“It’s cold.”

“You haven’t even touched the water silly girl.”

“Oh yeah.” she says with a giggle coming over and jumping into my arms from the side of the pool. “It’s warm.” she says matter-of-factly.

“I know silly I’m in here too.” Auston jumped into the deep end just then splashing me and Marly.

“Daddy no!” Marly yelled laughing.

“Let’s go get him baby!” we swam over to him, Marly with her flutterboard and me with my pool noodle. You can’t blame me. I never learned how to swim. Auston tried to teach me once on vacation but we ended up fooling around more than swimming.

“Aah my girls, what may I help you with?” Marly and I looked at each other before we both just splashed a whole lot water in his face. “I guess I deserved that.”

“Yes you did.” Marly said grinning. We stayed at the pool for quite a while alone until another family started walking towards the pool area in bathing suits. They were still quite a ways away but there wasn’t anyone in the field yet so you could see far away. Marly and I were playing catch when Auston come up behind me.

“Get rid of the noodle.” he tried to pull it away from me.

“What no! Why?” he kept trying to get it away. “Auston I can’t swim what are you doing?”

“There’s another family coming.”

“So? Who cares?”

“What if they know me?”

“Ugh who cares? Everyone knows you.” I asked rolling my eyes

“It’s embarrassing okay? That’s a kids pool toy. You’re an adult Ashley.”

I ignored him moving over a bit to grab the ladder.

“Sorry for embarrassing you Auston Matthews.” I spit out quietly calling him Auston Matthews in the way I knew he hated. I pushed the ball hard against his chest and climbed out of the pool.

“Mommy where are you going?” Marly asked swimming over to the side closest to the chair our stuff was on while I wrapped a towel around me wiping my eyes too while I was at it.

“I’m getting out of the water for a bit hun, play catch with Daddy.”

“Okay.” she said swimming away. Auston was fuming and I just stared at him with a raised eyebrow. The other family came in just then. They had two little kids a girl around Marly’s age and a boy a little bit older.

“Hi there!” the overly friendly mom said as they walked in.

“Hey, how’s it going?” I respond with a kind smile.

“It’s great! I love camping!” she said sitting her stuff down on a chair beside me before she took a seat too.

“Is it your first time as a family?”

“Yeah it is. Emmie finally old enough to actually enjoy it, I think, and Alex wanted to come so here we are. It’s my first time here though. What about you?”

“I’ve been here before a lot as a kid. This is Auston and Marly’s first time camping all together though. I finally got him to agree to let us all come.”

“I understand that feeling. My husband, Mitchell, didn’t want to come either. I’m the boss though so here we are.” we both shared a laugh at that as we watched them have fun.

“My name is Ashley.” I tell her after I was done laughing.

“Oh hun I know.” I must have looked at her funny because she very quickly added. “Mitchell is a huge leaf’s fan. He’s gonna flip that we’re staying somewhere with Auston Matthews. I’m sorry that must of sounded so creepy at first I didn’t mean it like that. I’m Eva.”

“It’s nice to meet you Eva.”

“You too Ashley.” we fell into easy conversation after that. It was like we had been friends for a long time and it was great. It definitely helped that we were both 23. Auston kept looking over at me with an angry look on his face while he swam and let Marly play with Emmie and Alex. 

“It looks like Marly and Emmie are really getting along well.”

“They are! It’s so cute! Camping buddies.” we laughed and Auston glared again. “Man Auston sure does seem annoyed..”

“Uugh he is. He’s being stupid.”

“Why what’s going on?”

“I can’t swim. So I was using a pool noodle to play in the pool with Marly. I don’t really need it but it’s more of a comfort thing. Auston and I got in a fight while you guys were walking up because it was embarrassing to him to have me attached to him and be using a pool noodle.”

“That’s sooo dumb.”

“Right!! That’s why I’m just sitting here now. Working on my tan.”

“Man I don’t know how you look like that after having a kid. Not fair.”

“Lucky for me I didn’t gain like any baby weight. I only showed at the very end.”

“I was like that with Emmie but Alex was awful for baby weight. Which I know is totally backwards but that’s what happened.” I heard a little cough and I look up to find Marly dripping all over.

“Why hello little miss Marly.”

“Hi Mommy.”

“Marly this is Emmie’s mom Eva can you say hi?”

“Hi Eva.” she said with a sweet smile.

“Hi Marly nice to meet you. You’re a cute one aren’t you?”

“Yes. Just like Mommy.” Eva laughed and looked at me as I rolled my eyes.

“She spends too much time with her dad.” I say laughing. “What can I do for you hm?”

“Can we make some food? I’m hungry.”

“Of course we can Marzbar here dry off a little first though.” I wrapped her up in her towel and laid her down beside me on the chair. I tickled her sides causing her to squeal. “My sweet little burrito.”

“I’m not a burrito Mommy!”

“Of course not darling.” I pat her leg and turn back to my conversation with Eva. “Well it looks like we will be leaving soon. Where are you guys staying?”

“We might be staying right beside you. We’re lot 78.”

“We’re 77! That’s so exciting! Marly did you hear that? Emmie is camping right beside us!”

“Really?! And we can play?” she asked Eva who laughed.

“Yes of course you can play!”

“Yay thank you!”

“Oh here comes angery boi.”

“Okay when he comes over you can say stuff about who he is but like let him introduce himself first and please don’t get crazy. He hates it.”

“Well good thing my husband is in town getting some stuff we forgot lol.”

“Did you just say lol out loud?” she shrugged and we both laughed really hard.

“Hey Ash, who’s this?” he asked coming up and grabbing his towel from me.

“This is Eva! She’s our camp neighbor!”

“Hi Eva nice to meet you. I’m Auston.” he put his hand out for her to shake which she did.

“Nice to meet you Auston. You play a mean game of hockey.”

“Oh haha yeah I guess.” he says blushing.

“Um wow no need to get all blushy and shy it was just a fact boy.” she said laughing.

“Alright well we should get going and make this monkey some food. We’ll see ya later!”

“Okay bye.”

“Bye Emmie, bye Alex. See you later!” Marly said excitedly waving from Auston’s arms as we left. We walked by in relative silence, just Marly babbling about her new friends when we got to the tent Auston stayed outside so we could get changed first. “They’re really fun Mommy!”

“I know baby I saw you having fun with them in the pool!”

“Alex knew who Daddy was. He was too scared to say anything though. I thought it was funny.”

“Why did you think it was funny Marly? That’s not very nice.”

“It’s not funny, funny. It’s funny weird. I don’t know how anyone would be scared of Daddy, that’s all.”

“Ooh gotcha. That’s fair enough. Daddy is liked by a lot of people. He’s kind of a big deal right now.”

“Why?” she asked incredulously.

“Because he’s a leaf honey. Hockey players are a big deal. Uncle Mitchie is a big deal too ya know.”

“Isn’t uncle Mitch a little annoying to be a big deal?”

“A little.” I said laughing. “But they are. That’s something you’ll learn Marly a lot of people know him and think he’s incredible.”

“He is incredible.”

“He sure is. Okay. Now what do you wanna wear? It’s getting close to supper time so it’s gonna get cold soon so how about some pants?”

“I want my star pants.”

“Okay, and we’ll put your bluejays shirt back on too okay?”

“Okay!” I got her changed and sent her out to Auston while I got changed into some simple legging and my favourite cat shirt. I brought Marly’s brush out of the tent so I could brush her wild pool hair.

“Alright Aus go get changed and then we can start this fire and make some food.”

“K.” he got up and left.

“Why is Daddy mad?” Marly asked while I brushed her hair.

“He’s just mad at me because I’m embarrassing sweetpea, don’t worry. It’ll all be fixed don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. No worries. This campsite is a worry free zone missy.”

“Okay.” she said shrugging.

“Do you want to learn how to set up a fire?”

“Yeah!”

“Okay come on.” I opened up the bag of wood and brought some pieces over to the fire pit. “Okay so we’re gonna make a little teepee okay? So let’s put three up together and make them stay.”

“This is impossible!” she exclaimed after a few tries.

“No it’s not here let me help.” I helped her and she got it eventually very proud of herself. “Now we just pile it on top of these three. Easy peasy.” we finished relatively quickly and she posed for me to take a picture of her with her fire set up.

“Easy peasy.” she said getting up. “Now what?”

“Well we need to rip up some paper to crumple up and catch on fire first before the wood will catch.”

“I can do that!”

“Okay baby here you go. Maybe rip and crumple half this little book okay?”

“Okay.”

“Then we put it underneath like this see?”

“Yeah!”

“Ash can I talk to you.” Auston demanded.

“Marz do you think you can handle paper duty?”

“Duh.” she said rolling her eyes at me. Me and Auston walked a little ways away from her.

“Oh no Auston Matthews are you sure you can be seen with me right now? I’m not embarrassing you am I?”

“Stop calling me that.” he said getting angry. His jaw was doing the thing and I was dying. I love it when it clenches like that. “I want to talk like normal adults.”

“Fine then talk.”

“You’ve been in a mood.”

“You’ve been a dick.”

“What? How?”

“You said you were embarrassed by me and what I was doing.”

“Ash-”

“No you listen to me Auston. If you can’t handle parts about me and are embarrassed to be seen with me tell me. Because this is shitty and I feel awful. I’m just trying to share a happy experience with my family and day one has been crappy because I’m embarrassing the love of my life and he’s ashamed of me.” I was crying again and he pulled me into his arms tight whispering to me.

“Hey no. You’re not embarrassing me and I have never ever been ashamed of you. I could never be. I love you so much. I fucked up. Bad. I didn’t mean to say it like that or make it seem like you’re bad for me to be seen with or anything. You and Marly are the only two I ever want to be seen with.”

“Okay..”

“I mean it Ashley. I mean it with every fiber of my being. I’m sorry I made you feel so bad.”

“I forgive you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” I say giving him a smile and a jaw kiss. “Now come on Marly’s ready to start a fire.”

“Hey little one whatcha doin?” Auston asked sitting beside her on the ground.

“I ripped the paper and I think it’s ready. Mommy will you check?”

“Of course darlin.” I crouched down and moved some of the paper around a little bit before smiling at her. “You did a very good job Marzbar.” 

“Yay! Thank you!”

“Okay so now is the adult part. You stand back okay Marly?”

“Okay.” she said saluting very seriously and taking a few steps back.

“Alright Aus, time to learn how to start a fire. Grab those matches over there on the table?”

“Sure babe.” he brought them over and crouched down next to me.

“Alright so now we’re going to light all along the paper and eventually the wood will catch.”

“Why can’t we just light the wood?”

“Because Aus, it won’t catch right away. Tomorrow I’ll show you how to use fire starting cubes and sticks. It’ll be rad. But you always need some kind of starter.”

“Oooh okay.” Marly said nodding.

“Sorry Ash, that was a stupid question..” he said looking down and frowning a bit.

“Hey hey hey. Turn that frown upside down. There is no reason to be sad or apologize. It wasn’t a dumb question at all cutiepie.” I kissed his hand after to try to and get him in a better mood.

“Okay..let’s start this fire?”

“Okay baby.” me and Auston both took matches and started lighting all around the paper. Soon enough the wood caught and we had us a fire going.

“Marly what do you want for supper?”

“I want hotdogs!”

“Well that’s good sweetie, we’ll be eating hotdogs a lot this week.” I said chuckling bringing the cooler and the cooking utensils over to the picnic table. “Okay Marly I’m gonna teach you how to roast a hotdog. Are you ready?”

“Yes Mommy!!”

“Okay so here’s what we’re going to do. You take one and you jab it through onto this poker like this.” I demonstrated and she did the same thing. “Now come over here with me to the fire.”

“But you said camp rule no Marly’s by the fire.”

“I said no playing by the fire. You can cook and sit by the fire. I’m sorry darling I should’ve been more clear.”

“Um yeah you should’ve. It would be waaay more helpful.”

“Okay miss attitude come here.” she came over to where I was and stood there. “Now all you have to do is hold the hotdog in the flame. Close to the wood but try not to touch it, it’ll be a little yucky if you touch the wood with it.”

“Will you help me?”

“Of course babygirl.” I went behind her and helped her hold the poker and cook her food. All the while I could hear and see Auston taking pictures of the two of us.

“This is fun Mommy. I like this.”

“I’m really really glad Marly.” I said giving her a kiss on her temple. We stayed there cooking for a little bit before Auston made his way over.

“Is there room for me to come cook?” he asked Marly.

“Of course there is Daddy!” she said with a giggle. “Look at all the fire!”

“What if I want your fire?”

“No.” she said simply making Auston laugh.

“Like mother like daughter.” he said referring to the first time we met.

“Shut up.” I said rolling my eyes at him.

“Mommy I think it’s done!” Marly exclaimed.

“Yes it looks like it. Okay come back to the table. Be very careful not to trip with that.” she made her way over with no problems thank goodness. “I’m gonna take the hotdog off because if you touch the metal you will burn your little fingers.”

“Oh no!”

“We do not want that.”

“No that’ll hurt. Remember when uncle Mitch burned his fingers on the stove? He said bad words and cried!”

“Yes honey it really hurts so don’t touch okay?”

“Okay I’ll let you and daddy get it off then.” 

“Probably a good idea.” I said taking off her hotdog and putting it in a bun. “Ketchup or no?”

“Definitely ketchup!” 

“Okay darling, here you go. Let me set up the camp chairs so you can sit by the fire and eat.” I brought out a little chair and set it up far enough away from the fire that she wouldn’t be a risk to get hurt by it or fall in. I set up mine and Auston’s while we were at it.

“Thank you Mommy.” 

“You’re very welcome Miss Marly.” I ruffled her hair and went back over to where Auston was at the table.

“I made us both some food while you were helping Marly.” he said smiling at you handing over a plate of food.

“Baby you’re the best.” I went on my tip toes and gave him a kiss. “I’m so lucky.”

“You are really lucky.” he said in fake seriousness before laughing. “I love you.”

“I love you too Auston Matthews.” I said in a happy day dreamy voice.

“Now that is the way I like to hear my full name coming from your mouth.” he gave me another kiss and we went to sit and eat with Marly. While we were eating Leah and her kids came back to their site giving us a wave.

“Mommy can we invite them over to our campfire later?”

“Sure we can darling. Oh yeah Auston?”

“What baby?”

“Eva said her husband Mitchell is a really really big leaf fan. She’s going to tell him to behave but I just want to warn you he might be a little crazy.”

“Alright that’s okay I guess. I’m sorry I can’t get away from being a leaf Ashley, I know you wanted this to be about all of us as a family and not about leaf stuff..”

“Aus don’t be sorry. It’s who you are and no one can take that away baby. I’m so proud of you for all your leaf stuff. I just wanted to warn you so you aren’t surprised, my love.”

“Thank you Ash, you’re a blessing.” Marly coughed interrupting us.

“If you’re done being groooooss can I make some desert?”

“Do you want to go over and see if Emmie wants to come make smores?”

“Yes, yes, yes!!” she said clapping her hands in excitement. “Daddy will you come too?”

“I’m going to stay with the fire babygirl you go with mommy and bring her over.”

“Booo.”

“Hey no boo. Let’s go little bean.” I took her hand and we walked through a couple trees to their side of the site line. It was starting to get dark but we could still see just enough to not need a lantern yet. “You hoo hi neighbours.”

“Oh hey Ash!” Leah said looking up from doing up the tent. “Hi Marly, what’s up?”

“We were wondering if you guys wanted to come over and have smores with us?”

“All of us? Including Mitchell?”

“Yeah of course! I warned Auston and he’s not really bothered.”

“Okay sure! Let me go get them, they’re at the playground.”

“Alright we’ll see you in a few.” I walked Marly back to the site and she sat down again.

“Are they coming over?” Auston asked Marly.

“Yes Daddy! I’m so excited I love marshmallows.”

“I’m happy for you Marzbar.” he said laughing. A few minutes later I heard some children laughing and looked up to find the family of four walking over.

“Don’t be crazy. I can see the crazy building and I’m telling you right damn now, do not be crazy.” I heard Eva mumble as she walked up holding her husband’s hand.

“Hey Eva!” I say walking over to them. “Hi, you must be Mitchell. I’m Ashley.”

“Yeah that’s me nice to meet you too. Eva’s been talking about you guys all day.”

���Yeeeah well you’ve been talking about him for like 6 years sooo who’s really the annoying one?” Eva said sarcastically back at him.

“Shut up.” he said blushing which made me and Eva laugh.

“Hey Emmie, Alex. Marly is veeerry excited to see you guys again.” I said crouching down to be at eye level with the little girl and boy holding their dad’s hand.

“Dad can we play?” Alex asked pulling at his dad’s hand.

“Yeah go ahead guys.” with that the two took off and went over to the picnic table where Marly was sitting, who got very excited and squealed in delight when she saw her friends coming over. Auston was just kind of awkwardly looking at everyone around while getting smore stuff ready for the kids. I forgot sometimes that he also got overwhelmed and nervous with new people. 

“Here come meet Auston.” I said leading the way over to my beautiful man. “Aus, babe meet Mitchell!”

“Oh um..” he was still visibly nervous, not to others but to me it was. He looked the same way when he met my grandma years ago. I went over and put my arms around his waist, squeezing for reassurance. “Hi Mitchell, it’s nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine dude. I’m a huge fan.” he said shaking his hand with a big smile on his face. Auston blushed but smiled too.

“Thanks man, I appreciate it.” 

“So did you get dragged here too?”

“Dude did I ever. Ash had been begging for months to go here.” auston said rolling his eyes.

“Hey! Don’t act like you aren’t having fun right now.” I said hitting his chest he just smiled at me but ignored my comment falling into easy conversation with Mitchell. Me and Eva went over to the campfire sitting in my and Auston’s chairs.

“Soo? Did you fix things with angery boi?”

“Yeah, I kinda cried at him and he apologized. He’s been having a hard time coming here.”

“How come?”

“Because camping is my thing and he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He really hates not knowing how to do things and this is all brand new for him.”

“Oh okay I understand.”

“Yeah so it kinda sucks but I’m trying to be patient with him because he’s just frustrated that he never got to learn how to do this ‘normal stuff’ when I got to learn it because he was too busy with hockey. He’s not mad at me.”

“But he is kind of taking it out on you.”

“That’s true, but I can handle it.”

“It didn’t seem like it earlier.” she said laughing at me.

“Well there is a reason for that.”

“Which is..?” she asked turning to look at me. I opened my mouth to answer but was interrupted by a couple little girls.

“Hello mommy.” Marly said sweetly.

“Hi pumpkin, what can we do for you two?” I asked pulling her up on my lap.

“Can we make smores now?”

“Of course Mar, let’s go. Daddy already has everything set up over there by the picnic table.”

“Alex won’t go over there.” Emmie said to us.

“How come Em?”

“He’s scared Mama. Auston is his favourite.”

“Oh my. Okay well you girls go over and ask them for help, we’ll talk to Alex.” I say sending them on their way before Eva and I walked over to where Alex was sitting on a blanket.

“Hey lil buddy, what’s goin on?”

“Mom did Em tell her that I’m scared?” he asked looking at me.

“She did tell me I’m sorry Alex. Why are you scared though?”

“He’s my favourite..what if he doesn’t like me?”

“Oh Alex that’s crazy talk.” Eva said brushing his shaggy brown hair from his eyes. “You’re a wonderful little boy I’m sure he’ll like you.”

“Auston is a very, very nice man. I used to be scared of him too you know?” I told Alex.

“What you? No way!”

“Yes way. He was my favourite too. I didn’t think he’d like me either, but then he did. In fact the first time I met him I accidentally punched him in the nose.”

“Woah. And he still liked you?”

“Yeah he did, very much.”

“Well if you can punch him and get him to almost marry you, I think I can meet him and be his friend.”

“You definitely can.” Eva said.

“For sure lil dude.” I stood up and offered my hands to his to pull him up. “Let’s go meet Auston and make smores with the girls okay?”

“Okay!!” he took both my and Eva’s hand and dragged us over to the rest of them but stopped short. “Ashley will you introduce me to him?”

“Of course darlin! Come on.” I walk over to Auston who had his back to us and faceplanted into his back to get his attention making him laugh.

“Hi cutie whatcha doing?” he asked laughing

“You are his favourite. He’s very nervous.” I mumbled into his back before he turned around.

“Auston this is Alex, Alex meet Auston.” I couldn’t help but smile at Alex’s wide eyed expression.

“Wow..Hi Auston Matthews..”

“Hi buddy, how are you doing?” Auston asked crouching down in front of him.

“I’m doing really, really good.”

“Do you want to come make smores with me?”

“YOU want to make smores with ME?” he asked incredulously.

“I sure do. Only if you want to though of course.”

“Yes! I would love to do that!!” he said jumping up and down with a big smile before giving him a hug which Auston returned with a chuckle.

“Okay little bud, come on!” he took his hand and led him over to the girls and Mitchell.

“That is so cute. Can I take pictures?” Eva asked me.

“Yeah of course! If you wouldn’t mind though don’t post them until we’re gone from here? We don’t want to be super bombarded ya know? Like just in case.”

“Oh yeah for sure. This is just a dream come true for both my boys and I want to capture it. Especially for Alex.” she said as she took a picture of Auston helping Alex roast the marshmallow.

“It actually warms my heart. Auston has always wanted a boy.” I said smiling fondly at the love of my life.

“Why don’t you have another?”

“I want to. I just don’t know if it’s the right time ya know?” I took a pause thinking. “Actually you know what I trust you. I’m  pregnant right now.”

“Woah what?!”

“You can’t tell anyone. I mean it.”

“Does Auston know?”

“Absolutely not. I found out when he was in the playoffs and he’s been in a mood since so I haven’t wanted to stress him out or upset him. I’m going to either tell him on this trip or once we get home.”

“How far along?”

“About 14 weeks.”

“Wow that’s so exciting! I’m happy for you!”

“Thank you. But remember no telling anyone until I tell Auston.”

“I promise on my kids lives not a word to anyone.”

“Thank you. I’m hoping it’s the little boy Auston has always wanted. He loves Marly to bits but it’s just not the same. He wants a little hockey boy.”

“I understand that. Mitchell always wanted a boy first to enjoy hockey with. Both of the kids love it but Alex more.”

“See the problem is that Marly is very, very much like me. She wants to be like him too but he only sees that she’s like me. It’s a shame because Marly wants to play hockey like him but he wants a hockey boy.”

“That really is too bad. Why don’t you sign Marly up anyway?”

“I already have for this september. I’ve been teaching her while hockey season is going in secret. She’s really good already. Definitely Auston Matthews kid, the talent is in the genes. It’s actually crazy honestly.”

“Oooh sneaky.” she said making me laugh.

“Mommy!” Marly called to me.

“What little bean?”

“Daddy is soooo bad at this!”

“Hey little missy I’m trying. Alex thinks I’m doing good right, buddy?”

“Yeah! He made mine perfect!”

“Yeah!” he gave Alex a high-five and they stuck their tongue out at Marly to which she folded her arms and let out a small ‘hmph’.

“Moooommyyyy.”

“I’m coming to help babygirl don’t worry.” me and Eva went over to the fire, her sitting with her daughter, husband, son, and Auston while I went to the other side to be with Marly. I grabbed more cookies and chocolate and she sat on my lap.

“I don’t even know what to do..” she pouted.

“Hey no pouty faces I will teach you. You see where the wood is glowing?”

“Yes.”

“That’s the best spot to roast em, but don’t get too close or it’ll light on fire.”

“Oh no!”

“Yeah sometimes. I like mine on fire, but I don’t like them as much as you do. We’re just going to toast yours okay?”

“Sounds good Mommy.” she said smiling up at me.

“Okay monkey, let’s do it.” I helped her get it all nice and golden. “Okay take it away from the fire babybean.”

“Now what?”

“I’m gonna take these two cookies and give it the ol’ smoosheroo.”

“The ol’ smoosherooooo!” she repeated giggling as I put the cookies on either side on the marshmallow.

“You reeeeady?” I ask her as she nods frantically. “Smoosh!”

“Now what?” she asked after she finished giggling.

“I’m gonna give it a pull, hold on tight.” she nodded and I gave an exaggerated pull of the smore. I started taking a video, wanting to get her reaction to tryring her first smore. “Oh wow beautiful! Excellent smore! I have never seen such an amazing camp treat!”

“Thank you, thank you. I did it all by myself.”

“All by yourself huh?”

“Uh huh.” she said nodding.

“Okay sure no help anywhere to be seen right?”

“Of course not. I need no help, I’m a big girl.”

“Okay my big girl, take a bite!” she brought the treat to her mouth and took a little bite before her eyes went big.

“This is so good!! Mommy! Mommy this is so good!” she started jumping up and down in excitement.

“Do you like it Marly?”

“Yesyesyes!” she said with her mouth full and marshmallow on her face.

“You’ve got it all over your face sweetpea!”

“I don’t care.”

“I do.”

“It’s too yummy to care Mommy!” she said exasperatedly flinging her arms out. I stopped the video giggling at my daughter.

“You’re crazy monkey.”

“Daddy!! Daddy look at my smore!” she said excitedly running over to him.

“Cool Marly.” he said not looking at her.

“Try it! It tastes good! I did a good job!!”

“I’m sure you did.” he was just ignoring her which was making her sad.

“Can I try some Marly?” Eva asked, making her little face light up again.

“Yeah!” she ran back over to where I was. She got up on Eva’s lap and fed her a bite of smore.

“Wow you did a very good job Miss Mar.”

“Thank you!!” she said sitting on her lap kicking her legs happily looking at me eating the rest of her smore. After a little while Emmie and Alex started getting tired, both of them yawning and snuggling up, Em with her dad and Alex with Auston. Which was cute but Marly was sitting glaring at the two from between me and Eva which we both noticed.

“Alright, we better be getting going to put you guys to bed. It’s been a long day and I’ve got two sleepy heads on my hands over there.”

“No mum I’m awake.” Alex said rubbing his little eyes.

“Nope we’re going back to the tent to go to sleep. Get off Auston and let’s go.” she said sternly to her boy.

“I’ll bring him back over to the tent if it’s okay with you guys?” Auston asked Mitchell and Eva before she could answer though Mitchell did.

“Yeah sure dude! Thanks.” and the two of them got up with the kids in their arms and a lantern in hand to go over to their site. Once they were out of earshot Leah turned to me.

“I’m sorry.. I was trying to go so that Marly wouldn’t be upset but it looks like it’s just been made worse.”

“Eva it’s not your fault at all. Auston is just excited about there being a boy around.”

“Hey Miss Marly?” she said kneeling in front of the pouting little girl.

“What?”

“I’m very sorry that Alex is taking your dad’s attention. Are you mad at us?”

“No I’m not angry. I’m sad. I just wanted to show daddy my smore..”

“I’m sorry hunny. Do you still want to play with Emmie?”

“Yeah! I don’t want Emmie to go! She’s my camp friend!”

“Okay I just wanted to make sure. Goodnight Marly, we’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay bye bye.” Eva got up and left with a wave to me and another quiet apology.

“Come here babybean.” I said sitting down in my chair with my arms out to her. She came over quickly and curled up on my lap. I had a blanket and wrapped it around us both while I sat rocking her in front of the fire.

“Will you sing to me mommy?” she asked quietly.

“Of course Marly.” I say putting on one of the songs that make her feel better which was Turning Page by Sleeping At Last. It always calmed her down and I loved it so it worked out well. I put it on repeat and sang it to her the first couple times. “Are you okay darling?”

“I’m alright Mommy. Just a little sad.”

“Well don’t be sad. Tomorrow Daddy will be spending all day with just us at the park.”

“No he’s gonna go with Alex..”

“No he isn’t.”

“Yes..”

“Hey, who’s the boss?”

“Mommy’s the boss.” she said with a little smile poking me in the chest.

“Exactly. I’ll make sure Daddy comes with us.”

“Thank you Mommy.”

“I love you Marly. Forever and always.”

“I love you too.”

“Yeah? For real?”

“For really real.” she snuggled into my arms with Ingwaz that I hadn’t noticed her take out. “Can I go to sleep?”

“Of course Mar, I’ll bring you in to bed don’t worry.”

“Thank you Mommy. Goodnight, I love you.” she said quietly closing her eyes while I sang to her again. I put the playlist on shuffle though so it wasn’t the same thing the whole time. Not that it mattered much since she was out before the next song started. I sat there for a while before I saw a lantern coming over, I was hoping it was Auston so I could put Marly to bed without worrying about leaving the fire but it wasn’t. It was Eva again. I motioned for her to be quiet and to sit while I brought Marly to bed. I tucked her into her sleeping bag and put her light in her little pocket by her bed. I zipped up the tent and went back over to the fire, running a hand through my hair.

“I’m sorry. Auston and Mitchell are doing a full on play  out of green eggs and ham for Alex and Emmie. Although Em is already asleep.” she said chuckling. I put the fire out while she was talking.

“It’s not your fault. Auston is doing this not you. It’s not your fault you have a son. I don’t hold you accountable.”

“It still sucks and I still feel awful.”

“Let’s go lay over in the field?”

“Sure but what about Marly?”

“I’ve got the baby monitor just in case. Come on. I don’t want Auston to hear us.” I grabbed a lantern and Marly’s play blanket and we went over to the field spreading it out before turning off the lantern so I could look at the stars. “I didn’t recognize you without your red hair at first.”

“I was wondering how long it would take for you to remember.” she said with a chuckle.

“Literally as soon as you said lol out loud I knew for sure. You look a lot different without your piercings and stuff.”

“Yeah well babies like to pull things out of your face sometimes and I do not like it.”

“That’s fair enough dude.”

“So you aren’t mad about the whole Auston thing?”

“Of course not Eva, I’m just a little worried.”

“How come?”

“What if this baby happens to be a boy? Will Auston treat Marly like this if he has a boy of his own?”

“I hope not.”

“I genuinely don’t think Marly will be able to handle it. She’s already sad and thinks Auston is going to spend our family time with Alex.”

“He won’t. I’ll keep them all away if you want me to.”

“Are you guys going to the park tomorrow?”

“We were thinking about it. Why are you?”

“Yeah.”

“Then we won’t.”

“Eva come on you don’t have to do that..” I said feeling bad.

“No. I’m going to do that. There’s no reason that little girl should be scared all day that her dad is going to ditch her for some boy he just met.”

“Eva I actually can’t thank you enough. It broke my heart when Marly told me she thought it was just going to be me and her while Auston went with you guys.”

“No we aren’t breaking any hearts. We’ll stay away tomorrow at least from the park.”

“The next day or even after if you guys want a day together alone it’s the least we can do, but we can go as a group? We’ll pay. I just really want to give Marly a chance to enjoy it and have family time ya know?”

“I completely understand.” we got quiet for a few minutes just looking at the stars before she spoke up again. “I wouldn’t worry too much. About Auston I mean.”

“I just don’t want him to leave her out like he was today. That would be awful.”

“It would but I’m positive you wouldn’t let it happen and I promise now that I’m back he’s not going to. I’ll come to your house and fight him.”

“Dude actually do it.” I said laughing. It turned into a yawn though.

“Okay well now that you’ve figured out who I am and we’ve talked, you go to sleep. You and the little one need it. I’ll try my best to get your boy back to you as soon as possible.”

“Thank you so much.” we walked back over to my tent and I went inside waving bye. “See you tomorrow.”

“Have a goodnight Ash.” once she left I zipped the tent and got into pajamas before curling up in my sleeping bag on the far side so Auston wouldn’t have to crawl over me. I didn’t fall asleep, waiting for Auston. He didn’t come back for almost an hour after that. I was crying of course but it didn’t really matter, I cried a lot these days. The sleeping bag that had been unzipped and used as a comforter was now zipped for one. He came in and I kept my back to him while he got changed and came to the air mattress. 

“Babe what are you doing?” he asked in a whisper. I didn’t answer pretending to be asleep. “Ash I know you’re not asleep. That’s not how you breathe while you’re sleeping. Come ooon why won’t you talk to me?”

“Mmm what do you want?” I ask turning over to look at him.

“Cuddle meeeee.”

“Um wow needy.” I said with a laugh. I didn’t do anything but I let him unzip the sleeping bag and put it back like normal, too tired to fight but I still didn’t want to see him so I stayed facing away while he got situated and spooned me.

“Goodnight baby. I love you.”

“Goodnight Auston. Love you.” I said short before falling asleep.

[haatake]

Undenied  -  Hakyona OneShot

Timeline: Modern Time AU Rating: M, for rooftop fun Also in: AO3 fresh off the oven(but not really)

A/N: SOOO, wow, it’s been forever! Is this fandom still out here?  don’t really know, but YES, i used to write a happy amount of Hakyona lovelifes, but then life happened and also i never finish my stories, i get frustrated and whatever. Ths one i had cooking for a looooooooooooooooooooooooooong time, it was my dear friend @lichthime​ (Who I visited in Amstedam last year!!!!) convinced me that this was ready to be posted and that people here would appreciate it since there’s not much fic going around lately. So without further ado, some HakYona smut because why not

Undenied

“Now that I've found you And seen behind those eyes How can I

Carry on?”

The smell of his skin makes her almost dizzy, instantly lost. He is serious but every once in a while he can’t contain a low grunt when she kisses and licks his neck and his face is buried in her bright red locks. His flesh feels like heaven against her, eager and strong, and rough to the perfect degree, gosh she missed this so much. He straightens up, fixes up a lock of his hair that was rebelling and stares at her. Her legs wide open and surrounding his body, her flowery black dress rolled up to her hips and the sleeves no longer covering up her young and round breasts; and her hair, messy and out of control just as his. His gaze takes it all in, and in this bench, on the rooftop of a fancy club, Yona feels suddenly perfect.

“I love this sight” He says with a grin as he catches his breath, and she grins too, because his bare chest is a sight she’s also grateful for, gosh he’s so hot. He takes one of her legs and crosses it to the other side so it lays on top of the other one and then leans for a kiss as he starts pounding again. Perfect. He’s perfect, she thinks as her body starts instantly reacting to the movement.

It had been instant. She walked in and there he was, all lights were on him as the bartender juggled with indistinct bottles of liquor. He was focused and didn’t miss a single beat, it was probably the coolest thing she had ever seen in years. Suddenly the other bartenders joined, two women and another man and together they did probably the most amazing juggling show she had ever seen. Where the hell had she been brought to? She knew Ayura was gonna go all out on her bachelorette’s party, but the party had not even started and she was already over the moon.

She had to have him.

Him and only him.

He moved like lightning, and made it look so damn easy that she wondered if he could throw her like that into the air. Something tingled insider of her chest, and she knew she had a target.

“Let’s get drunk!” She yelled to her friends, and then walked straight towards the bar.

She clutches her hands around the metallic bar and looks down the 4 floors, a shiver excites her skin as his lips travel the road of her spine. He’s a teaser, and she’s feeling everything so much and so intensely that she’s probably cum twice already, and as she stares into the dark empty street, she feels ready for more. His hand slides to her center and he circles his fingers there as he roams her body with his other hand, she moans and smiles when he fills her once more, pounding hard against her in search for his own release this time. And she wants him to get there, she wants to hear him and feel him dissolve for her, he’s made her sing before, and now it’s her turn to make him. She straightens her body and presses her back against him, he grunts in her ear when she guides his hand to her bare chest as she inches her lips to his ear.

“Attack me” She dares, and he instantly holds her harder and presses her against the railing, her body instantly reacting to the cold metal in her stomach. But she loves it, how he gives her the perfect kiss as he’s just about to come, thrusting his hips adamantly into her, his tongue softly entering her mouth and meeting hers as he unconsciously presses her neck deepening the kiss. It feels like it’s all going in a slow daze, sensuous and almost cinematographic, like a hot dream she’s about to wake from. Only it isn’t.

He presses his forehead to her shoulder when he comes, holding one of her breasts firmly in one hand, he moans and his back tenses as he pushes in one last time.

For once, she didn’t mind how her hair stood out in even in a crowded space, because the bartender’s dark eyes would find her once in a while as she danced, and for the space of the three seconds his gaze held hers, Yona would dance just for him.

She had to have him, she had never felt like this before.

“The night of letting go” She thinks in her drunken stupor, feeling how the music swallows her whole and the alcohol blurs her mind. “I’m moving on” She said to herself repeatedly, but today she felt it. He threw a vodka bottle over his head and poured it in an almost sexual way, he looked so hot. She had to have him.

His eyes laid on hers again, inviting, and this time Yona didn’t back up. With a strong stride, she walked towards him, unsure of what to say or do, completely out of touch with her flirtatious side, but always willing to improvise. He smiled as she approached the bar, taking his time to finish preparing another person’s drink before turning his attention to her.

“Hey” He greeted

“Hi” She answered, pretending to be calm as she sat on the stool.

“What can I get you?” She could see he wanted to know what she was gonna order, he had that look in his eyes; the eyes of a hunter. She could play too.

“Mmmh” She touched her chin playfully “I want…” Yona smiled whimsically “...your favourite drink”

“ My favourite drink?” He asked, puzzled “That’s a new one”

Dink! Dink! Dink!

“Yes… I want that” But I don’t mean the drink

“You sure?”

“Yeah”

“ Fuck ” He grunted as he pulled himself out of her

“Feel good?” She asks turning around, he only smiles matter-of-factly as he removes the condom

“Did you finish?”

“Oh, I’m more than okay” She answers, reaching for his face. He shortens the distance until he has her against the railing again, a cold tingly shiver rolls down her spine and she loses her breath. He grabs her jaw decidedly, shortening the distance even more.

“Did you?” Hi asks firmy, his fingers roaming her back, forcing her to close her eyes and give in just a little more.

“No…”

He smiles.

She was jealous. Drunk and jealous. So far two girls had given him smudged digits on pieces of paper. She wanted to go back to the bar and steal his kiss, steal his time and his desire. She wanted him, but how can you compete with a club full of beautiful women? How can you call the attention of a man that must get hundreds of numbers from all kinds of strangers? They had had a moment there, he happened to caress her hand when handing her the drink, he winked when he said “ Enjoy ”, he then moved onto the next costumer and she went back to her group, trying to hold her dignity intact.

Discouraged, she gets devoured by insecurity and quits. I can’t compete. I won’t compete. A bartender, lots of girls, he must a player, he must fuck them all, he must get laid everyday, make them shiver without making eye contact, dismiss them next morning. Just one more of those, I don’t wanna be.

But he looks at her, finds her in the crowd, no matter where she was he found her. Her . The paper is pressed in his fist strongly and tossed away right before her eyes. He raises one eyebrow defiantly and Yona, shaking internally, feels like her knees are gonna betray her before she can make her next move.

But they don’t, so she walks directly to him, drunk and certain, never ever more sure of anything. The music is too loud for her to say it, so she reaches for a napkin and a pen that’s next to the computer screen. It’s an impulse, she knows, but one of those you can’t help.

See you after closing?

His answer was a wink of his left eye that she swears, could have melt an iceberg or two.

Not even she could believe that she stayed. It was 3 and then 4 and she stayed. Her friends left, everyone left and there she was, sitting at the bar flirting with the bartender. Hak was his name, and even that she found gorgeous. She learned he was a student of some sort of mechanics and that he played bass guitar to relax. She learned he had a soft spot for gin and tonic, but was more of an old fashioned kind of guy. She leaned she wanted to fuck him until she saw the sun.

"I know a place I think you will like" He said, picking up keys from a drawer. She followed him up some stairs, a sober part of her wondering if this was actually a good idea.

When he opened the door she was sure it was. The rooftop was illuminated with the faint red neon sign of the bar and there was even some benches here and there. Could this night get more worderful?

Yes it could.

His lips embrace hers softly, yet deeply, as if they wanted to warm her body again, fuel the fire that’s inside of her. Making hot trails in her skin, he lowers to her neck and then to her chest, tasting and teasing her breasts as she struggles to find enough air in her lungs. He kneels and throws her leg over his shoulder, demanding a better angle to her core, and boy does he get it. Yona shivers and hardens, hey body reacting instantly, intensely, to the feeling of his tongue. She holds on to the metallic bar, pressing it hard in her hands as her back arches when the orgasm strikes her. She makes a deaf noise and reaches it probably too soon for her taste, but also too strong to regret. It’s like a strike of lightning going through her, she thinks, a whole blissful moment of nothing but pure pleasure. She had never felt anything like it before. This could become addictive.

“Stop, stop, stop…” She begs and he smiles, giving her a final kiss before standing up.

He kisses her and she loves the taste in his lips and the strong feeling of his back, his scent fills her. For a full moment she remembers when she first saw him, juggling those bottles of vodka effortlessly, almost unconsciously, like he was bored of this act already, like he could do it with a blindfold. He probably could. The thought makes her want to drag her nails across his back, if only to claim him.

He breaks the kiss and lays his head on her shoulder, and suddenly she’s aware of how tired she is. They sigh in unison and then laugh, becoming aware of what had just happened.

“That was…” She manages, containing a giggle.

“Mindblowing? Best rooftop sex of your life?” He jokes, as he walks back to the bench to fetch his clothes. The sigh of his behind makes her bite her lips.

“Uh, it’s in my top 5 definitely” But she’s lying. It was most definitely the best sex of her life, let alone in a rooftop

“Well, it was my pleasure, Princess” He winks at her as he gets into his boxer briefs.

She wants to tell him something though, something true and real, that this is not who she is, that she never does things like this, that she would love to do it again. But she remains silent, as if saying the words would make all this fantasy disappear; this bold persona that she created wouldn’t ruin a moment like that. She puts on her clothes in silence, trying to find the perfect thing to say that will make him want to see her again, that will make him want to date her: but what is it?

“So…” She says

“Listen…” His words crash into hers

“Oh? Sorry…” She smiles “Tell me”

“Yes, uh…” She sees he is nervous and it’s so endearing that he is after what they just did, Yona can’t help but smile to herself

“What?”

“Look, I don’t do this often and I think we started the other way around…” He hesitates, walking towards her “But I would like to…” He inches closer to her, inching his lips to her ear “I would very much like to see you again”

She can’t help but laugh out loud at the innocent tones “And do it indoors for a change?” She winks, he smiles shrugging

“Well, yeah, yes. Maybe some dinner?”

“Mmmm! I’m a picky eater, though” She jokes as she slides back into her dress

“We can always skip dinner and go straight to the roof, you know”

“Oh my God, Hak!” She exclaims, playfully hitting him in the chest. They both explode into laughter and it feels to her like they have known eachother for a while; Comfortable and yet new. She had almost forgotten how it felt like.

“Look” He says after struggling with getting dressed again, his finger pointing at something behind her. She turns around and there it is. Majestic. Bright, perfect and breathtaking. The first ray of sun of the morning. She did it.

“Wow” She sighs, filling her nostrils with the smell of a fresh new day and her mind with the pink and red image of the sunrise. “I love it” Yona smiles, turning to him. She’s surprised to see his phone out and pointing at her as he takes a sneaky picture. “Hey!” She jokes, blushing

“I’m sorry, it’s just…” He lowers the phone and seems to type something in it “I just found the perfect name for you on my phone”

“Really? What is it?” She walks closer to him as he shows her the screen. And there, next to her picture the name reads: Yona of the Dawn.

Muaks ;)

[xxfromthegroundupxx]

You Won’t See It Coming (Part 1)

She knew she didn’t belong here, but she was starting to believe she did. 367 days, 8808 hours, 30 minutes, and 25 seconds. That’s how long she had been locked in this place. Maybe the fact that she could remember that was a sign that she should be here. She had never been any good with numbers or time, at least not until time was unfairly taken away from her.

She wouldn’t change her story though. She knew what she saw, she knew what she felt, and she had a feeling it would happen again. She wasn’t crazy and anyone who didn’t believe her could go blow a cactus.

*tap, tap, tap*

She had grown tired of the so-called ‘knocking’. She found it to be the equivalency of your parents knocking on your door when you were a child; they were going barge in whether you said it was okay or not. As if they wanted to catch you doing something you had no business doing.

The door creaked open, letting a sliver of light come in. Not enough that she could see what was going on outside her door, but just enough to make her wonder.

“Hey Miss Willow, it’s time for you to take your medicine.” the overly happy orderly smiled, slowly stepping in the small cell “it’s time for your medicine.”

“I won’t take it.”

“You say that every day.” the orderly mused.

“And everyday I don’t take it.” Willow thought to herself.

The orderly put the two pills in her hand, one red and one green, along a small cup of water. Willow rolled her eyes before throwing the pills in her mouth and securing them in-between her gums and bottom front lip. As she went to drink the water, she used the tip of her tongue to push the pills up and over her lip, letting them fall into her sleeve without missing a beat. Willow finished the water and gave the cup back, using her opposite hand.

“That wasn’t so bad!”

“Get out.” Willow merely mumbled, before putting her head back down on the table.

“Always with the attitude, the doctor will be in to see you soon.” the orderly said, before walking out and locking the door behind her. If being locked up in a crazy bin bin didn’t make Willow already want to kill herself, that orderly’s fake plucky attitude did.

Willow quickly places the small pills on the floor and used the steel leg of the chair to smash it into tiny pieces, before using her hand to scatter them on the ground to make it look like dirt.

“I hear that you’re in a bad mood today, just like every other day.” the doctor, Doctor Dale, said coming into the small cell.

“Well doc, how would you feel being locked up in this place? Forever cheerful?”

“Willow, you know why you’re in here.”

“I’m here because they were so quick to close a case and not look at the facts!” she sighed in an exhausted and frustrated tone.

Doctor Dale sat down in front of her and passed her a cigarette and lighter. Willow wasn’t sure how to feel about the man sitting across from her. She didn’t hate him, but she definitely didn’t trust him. He couldn’t have been much older than her, and from the looks of it, he definitely did skateboarding and metal shows when he wasn’t in the crazy house. He had kind eyes and dirty blonde hair. If she was going to be completely honest with herself, he wasn’t terribly hard to look at. However, seeing as she spent most of her time looking at a cold floor and the same four walls, he didn’t really have much competition. She lit her cigarette and tossed the lighter back to the doctor.

“What do you want today?” Willow mumbled before taking a long drag from her cigarette.

“You to tell me what happened that-”

“I’ve told you over a hundred times what happened!”

“Willow, your story is making no sense, nothing you say-”

“I didn’t kill him! I’ve told you all a million times that I didn’t do it! I came home and found him bleeding out on the floor! Numerous people have been able to corroborate my story! I left to go to the bar, after the bar I went to the movies, after the movies I went to my best friend’s house! When I came home some random man was lying on my floor, holding my belongings that he was stealing by the way, bleeding out from a gaping hole in his stomach! Now, you tell me Dr. Dale, how could I have cut a hole into his stomach from the time it takes me to get home and the 10 minutes it took the cops to get to my house?!” she screamed at him.

The doctor sighed and lit his own cigarette. Even he had to admit, even if only to himself, the chances of her killing him were impossible.

“Listen, I get that you’re frustrated, but the cops get there and you’re going on about demons and them coming for you-”

“I didn’t say it’s not hard to believe, I said I didn’t kill him.” Willow practically growled at him.

Doctor Dale sighed and slouched back in his chair “so, what would you like for me to do? Huh?”

“Get me the hell out of here so I can stop it from happening again!” Willow yelled, this time jumping up in frustration and slamming her hands on the table.

She didn’t care that she was the only one who believed her story, she knew that time was running out. Fast.

“Should I bring a priest with me next time?” Doctor Dale asked, a small exhausted laugh escaping his lips.

“Glad you think this is so damn funny.” Willow mumbled, walking towards the wall and leaning against it.

“You know it’s not funny to me, but my hands are tied in this situation. You can’t prove anything you’re saying and I can’t force people to believe you.”

“Do you believe me?” Willow asked, her voice dropping, a hint of softness to it.

“I don’t know. It’s not the strangest thing I’ve heard and I guess it wouldn’t be the strangest thing I’ve seen. I don’t know.”

“If you believe me, get me out of here.”

“My hands are tied, Willow.”

“Fine then.” she huffed before finishing her cigarette and flicking it on the ground.

Doctor Dale sighed in frustration and got up from the table, “I’ll see you tomorrow and we’ll start this again, I guess.” he mumbled before walking out and closing the door behind him.

“We’ll see.” Willow mumbled.

_____________________________________________________________________

‘Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!’ Willow thought as she broke into a sprint across the field. She had been doing fine until she got to the last corridor and tripped the alarm. It hadn’t taken the orderly’s long to figure out that it was her who broke free and they, along with at least 6 dogs, were right on her trail.

She hadn’t been athletic in what felt like a million years, and her legs were starting to tire, but she knew she had to keep going.

“That way! She’s headed for the fence!” she heard one of the male orderly’s yell.

She stopped for a moment, looked up the tall fence, said a quick prayer to whoever wasn’t ignoring her at this point in her life, and hoped that her years of hopping fences when she was a kid would help her now. She started scaling the fence and made it up just high enough that the dogs barely missed her when they started biting and jumping.

She made her way to the top and decided it was in her best interest to jump. Even with something broken, she could still muster up enough strength to get the hell away from there.

THUD!

She hadn’t broken anything but she knew she’d feel it for the next few weeks.

She kept running towards the road until an old convertible stopped in front of her. She looked into the car and saw a pair of kind blue eyes staring back at her. Doctor Dale. He looked from her to the group of orderly’s running up behind her and approaching her quickly. He sighed and dropped his head, “I’m gonna lose my damn license.”

His head quickly shot up and he opened the door for her.

“Get in.”