#I miss citi field
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actually delighted that the mets postponed the home opener until tomorrow😍 that means I’ll actually be able to watch it! hooray!
#spicy speaks#they better right the ship and get back to being slay#idk what it is with them playing in Milwaukee they always lose there#I WISH I was gonna be at the game tmrw…#I considered impulsively hopping on the train and heading down but I’m too broke tbh#last I checked all the cheap tickets were gone#got a good couple games lined up for the summer tho😍#did the student discount pricing drop yet I know uncle stevie was talking about it#would be incredibly slay#maybe I could get tickets that weren’t in the 500s for once😍#I used to be a longtime enjoyer of sections 501-505 but then during day games I’d get sunburned to a crisp#now I’m more of a 520-525 enjoyer myself#in the shade!#hooray!#fuck I’m so excited#I miss citi field#new york mets
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i don't wanna take over the world, it sounds like a lot. but you know, laying siege to a golf course sounds really nice sometimes
#just me hi#i'm giggling thinking about it hfbvhs#you can use the sandbanks for cover and if you plan far enough ahead you can start farming around those little ponds#and you can steal golf balls :D and use them as currency ?? or just collect them :3#and you could use the tennis ball guns to shoot the balls at people of course!! and you're supplied with sticks when you get there !! free#weaponry !! :D#and if you can hold out for long enough you could start planting rose and blackberry bushes in places they wouldn't look#why? bc roses Always Come Back#and blackberries will take a minute but who can get mad at a blackberry bush !! nature's surprise :D#oh and of course you could have a noble steed too (golf cart) !! :DD#and you could make the building a castle#and make a little gnome town in the fields once the battle is over#OH you could build a miniature golf in and around the town too :D for the funsies#/places are very cool i like places#could some be used better? oh yea for sure#i have dreams for abandoned malls hfvbs - some of my favorite places ever#that's one big odd thing i want. to have a mall to live in hfhs :3#is it a lot of space ? ye. but it's also SOO much space.. the possibilities !!#//anyway i Need to go for a walk in a city sometime soon lol#i miss the riverwalk aaa#GASP campus martius during the winter. my dearest#i didn't realize the threshold for being a city was so low lmao ?? like man these are just big towns what is this hfvbsh#//but aside from the city pining MAN#i got to drive earlier today ('got to' they put me in the seat and it wasn't very fun hfvbshf) and oooohhh#you know that feeling on a roadtrip when it's all worth it for just a little while.maybe when you broke over the top of a hill or looked up#from whatever you were doing to find a storm ahead and the rear lights of the cars seemed to blink in agreement with how gorgeous it all is#just that hfbsh :3#i like places a lot. sobs [<- crying candy hearts]#//okey i'm goin to go do my somethings now hfvhs :3 :D#music and caffeine are SO good ehehhehghhg [slinkies away so fast]
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like i'm not worried that i'm not smart enough to achieve my goals. i'm worried that i'm going to let opportunities slide past me bc i'm not motivated enough or bc i am looking in the wrong places
#was looking up acdemic conferences in my field and there was one i missed in my city last weeeeeek#just made like 3-4 office hours appointments lol
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#thief the dark project#thief 2 the metal age#yes the origins of the mechanists and city watch are fully explained#as well as the origins of the trickster and the nature of the eye#and the world's predisposition to forming citystates rather than nations and the fall of the precursors#also sorry Deadly Shadows the Keepers are not jedi and are a young Order compared to the Hammerites#go find a different series to inject your starwars fanfiction into#(I love Deadly Shadows by the way but it goes far beyond butchering the Thief story it's outright not even the same setting)#read the botany book by Constantine's bed and then play The Cathedral by the way#the nobility and barony and spiritual realm still arent fully explained though. Thief 2 Gold i miss you so much you wouldve given us it all#(T2G wouldve let us explore a noble university and the tower of the banished Hand Brotherhood acolyte)#(and also wouldve given us the actual version of Karras' story instead of the sudden ending)#Thief 3 wouldve been insane. Can you imagine the fall of the Barony and the City changing hands as the digital era approaches#oh yeah Thief is a post-electrical revolution modern setting with analogue electronics and advanced medicine didnt you know that?#you just don't see firearms often because there was little demand for them in the City compared to more versatile bows. but theyre there#theyre just used more for field and naval battle. the City is too cramped and winding for them to be effective#and there hasnt been the demand to lead to the development of advanced loading mechanisms#due to the fortification-centric nature of infrastructure (due to REDACTED) premodern structures arent torn down just reinforced with steel#yes you learn all of this if you actually play the games all the way through. the opening levels of T1 are bait and switch#portraying the world as primitive and backwards as seen through garrett's eyes#dont get me started on garrett's full character. play Ambush! and really look through his apartment
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speaking of liah it's time for another kotor update. i'm currently on manaan and have once again been roped into solving a murder mystery
#el plays kotor#so many murder investigation quests in this game... im not complaining i enjoy them. but idk if liah does#but also yknow manaan is a strictly neutral planet right. that allows both republic and sith presence in ahto city#and some of the selkath speak in favor of the sith which would be believable if the sith weren't so cartoonishly mean and evil all the time#one selkath said sth like 'the republic is stagnant and oppressive and the sith are the change we need'#meanwhile the sith threaten ppl on the streets. conquer and destroy planets. etc#like... you can't just have characters say this stuff and then show only evil & mean sith. and not show any of the republic's flaws...#characters like this selkath just sound stupid instead of like someone with a hot take that is worth discussing#but also during my investigation into the murder i found out that the republic has been withholding information regarding it...#idk... maybe we will see the republic's shadier side... maybe there will finally be some well written grey morality in this game...#also possible that i'm just stupid myself and have simply missed any displays of the republic being shady and oppressive. hm#anyway!! i've also been playing fields of mistria a lot these past couple days... got it as a little bday treat...#it's been nice so far! i like the villagers and am already crushing on ryis and valen aha#my only complaint is that time seems to go by much faster than in sdv?? i hope they slow it down a little
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in perhaps the biggest twist at jessie ennuijpg dot tumblr dot gov,,,i think im getting into f1
#completely out of left field#it's bc my parents were in vegas a couple weeks ago when the city was preparing for the grand prix there#so when they got back they were like we should watch the grand prix live just to see what this is all abt#and u know what i had fun#perfect time to catch up on stuff and be on top of it for the 2024 season tbh#anyways i feel like ive kinda been offline the past week#i've been busy spending a lot of time w family and also studying since ive had quite a few days off for work#miss u guys i hope ur all well <33#('offline' but when it comes to me it just means on here like =<1hr a day as opposed to like 3+ or some other insane amt)#ennuitxt
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#i feel like my brain just so broken recently#i have so much actually very important stuff to do that i want to do to a high standard but none of it is happening#and even things i want to do for fun i still somehow don't have the time to do#I'm just sat in the middle struggling to do nothing all the time#that and I've got like 3 friends in this city and 2 of them I've only known about 6 months and I'm pretty sure see me as just an acquaintan#ce who won't stop messaging them hdjgh#ugh idk i just miss the magical me from 2021 who could wake up at 7.30 and do things#and the even more magical me from 2019 who had a social life#meanwhile I'm surrounded by people who know so much about their field and can talk about it so clearly and#I'm just poking through it just like everything I've worked on#like idk i feel like I'm in everything i do so shallowly#friendships work relationships family everything i just kinda drift over it
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lowkey me abt my masters abroad plan
#on top of everything it will be a big L for me like i keep telling everyone id rather die than live in this country lol#like oooh look who's back with us in this humble depressive reality miss too-good-for-here lol#genuinely tho i do think im too good for here but the bar is so low#and also i keep having to remind myself there's a very real possibility i will just be stuck in the closet in the foreseeable future#if i keep living here lol#aaand also i do like my family but i need to push myself away from my comfort zone i feel like. and how am i gonna do that in this country#like going to Istanbul is not a choice no offense to yall but i dont wanna die in an earthquake lol#and other cities are just????? mostly not even cities????? lol#NBC would be having a field day with these thoughts this will be the case study for his next movie 🤩#i mean after that insane politics fight during dinner scene lmao#🗒#anyway. omw to nap
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I just want to take my nose and throw it FAR AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK ALLERGIES!!!!!!!!!!
#start of fall and spring are the WORST TIMES FOR ME#and since I live among fields and farms IT'S HELL#especially hay and certain plants#oh boi I'm gonna diiiiiiie#I miss living in the city solely because I'd have little to no allergy symptoms gsdhbsdbfhbsdfbsdhfbsdfhbsdhfbhsdfbsdjfb#also yes I have allergy pills#they suck
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I'm not mentally prepared for her to have Chicago shows next actually I might fling myself onto the metro tracks instead.
#just to be clear that is a joke#but uh... chicago is my home city#and i live so far away now#and its going to break my heart missing her at Solider field after seeing her there every tour since Red
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things i find i missed about my hometown:
birds chirping
the field out of my window and how it looks like when the sun has just risen
trains passing by in the deep of the night
#i knew i would miss the field#but i wasn't prepared by how in the city you never hear birds not even in the morning#there aren't even mourning doves#the pigeons too are silent#x
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Promise to myself: if I get this new job I'm seeing fall out boy this summer
#fall out bou AND the academy is??? in the baseball field? of the city i eoulf be moving to???#i would die#i miss ol willy beckett#god my friends saw them live in MIDDLE SCHOOL and they could only afford one shirt#so they got one shirt and traded it off#imagine me seeing my top 3 emo bands in one year (since i saw mcr in september) little me is shaking!!!
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absolutely criminal to leave this in the tags
cheers to anyone else getting emotional in the office on this fine thursday
For those who needed to hear it today
#beautifully said#i will always remember the time in high school when the art club and i were painting portraits of orphans living in africa (cannot remember#which country it was) that were then sent to that very orphanage for the kids to receive and keep#my art teacher made sure to include a photo of the artist alongside the portrait so that the kids could see who drew them#i had missed the deadline to give her a picture of my choosing so she send the portrait with a photo of me she'd taken herself#it was a candid photo of me during our field trip earlier that year to nyc to visit art museums and draw in our sketchbooks at central park#in the photo i was in the middle of a crowded street flanked by people and skyscrapers with my tiny sketchbook in hand#i was looking up at the buildings & beaming in an open mouthed smile like i was in the middle of laughing or just thrilled to be in the city#i remember when she showed me that picture after having already mailed the portraits i was so upset because i thought i looked so ugly there#looking back years and years later it was probably one of the most charming pictures anyone has ever taken of me#i wish i could have a copy of it now#take that picture friends
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sometimes all it takes to fix ur mental health is getting handed an award by ur fave prof for a short story about ur ocs gay proposing ❤️🩹
#purrsonal#nearly crode bc of the overlapping feelings of missing my old clg + HER + clg mag publishing my coffee driven spiel was so left field#+ I got chills standing onstage the auditorium coz that's where so many people I look up to started and developed their careers#aaah. there was an air of finality about it. an unmooring and concluding of our time there......#(<- being so dramatic despite knowing convocation is going to take place next summer. the final nail in the graduation coffin)#anyway I'm glad they didn't discriminate against the queer theme <3 despite the general prevalence of catholic conservatism#but they've been more n more supportive since the last few years and I think it's safe to say the clg is the most queer-friendly one#in the city
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I want to be out here on horseback exploring and swimming and spending time under trees
#i bet no one wanted to know that#I love the country so much I miss it#I don’t mind the city but I constantly yearn for fields and lakes
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I have a good life, but sometimes I still wish I could live a different one
#grateful for what i have#sad for the isolation and lack of connection#i watch farming videos a lot#not cause i want to be a farmer persay thats a very tough and busy life#i just like watching ppl do jobs on the land or with animals and with other ppl and dogs to help#even though theres more places to eat here in the city i miss the countryside#i miss forests and fields and back roads with no traffic#i joke about how running off to the countryside to farm sheep is my backup gig but sometimes i do daydream about it a little#i mean fuck man i was upstate visiting family in the mountians this weekend and my god... there are such beautiful places to live#not even that far away#idek if id end up being happy with a life like that im so online but man it does look good#if my job hadnt lied if i really had the option to be wfh forever i would done the same as my coworker n moved somewhere pretty n cheaper
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