#I might make playlists for other characters but we’ll see lol

[avnging-221b]

If made a Butcher playlist, what songs y’all think I should add 👀

[symbiotic-slime]

for the character ask game:

1, 2, 5, 23 - comic!Eddie.

9 and 10 - comic!Flash.

sorry if it's too much! ><

i’m just very interested to know and you always answer so interestingly!

agshdhdhdhjs thank u <33 and there’s no such thing as too much, I love being able to ramble about my favourite characters!!!

Comics!Eddie:

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

I love him so much because he’s just a fucked up freak. like the best part about any media is when there’s a character who’s just off their rocker lmao. to answer this question more seriously, he’s just a really interesting character and I think I see a lot of myself in him. I mean— hopefully not the unhinged psychopath who holds the world’s most insane grudge part, but the way he experiences love and is basically obsessive and codependent is lowkey relatable 💀

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

such a non-surprising answer but I love that he’s queer and in love with the Venom symbiote!! I feel like I don’t need to explain this one, my blog does that for me 😅

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Symbiotic by Starset! The song is incredible and it uses symbiosis as a metaphor for love and has space imagery so to me it’s about symbrock! it also released a couple weeks after Let There Be Carnage which was crazy to me at the time.

another one of my favourite songs that I associate with Eddie is My Way Of Life by Frank Sinatra!!

if ur curious I also have an Eddie Brock playlist on Spotify (I do need to come up with a better title for it tho lol)

23. Favorite picture of this character?

I love this one!!

he literally sleeps like that post that’s like “if you sleep like this you’re a bottom” and it’s hilarious to me! (and also the symbiote kind of holding/caressing him is very cute!!)

Comics!Flash:

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

oooo honestly that’s a tough one. I think we could try to make it work, but honestly we might just end up getting on each other’s nerves 😭 I tend to be very particular about my cleaning and organization which might make me a nightmare roommate? idk we’ll see if I’m actually a nightmare roommate when I move out

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

definitely. he seems so chill and like he would be fun to be around!!

[yazzydream]

Too Flawless (Gojo Satoru Playlist)

I made a Gojo playlist not to long ago... and then more playlists for other characters too. Lol. Anyway, thought I’d share it now. → [Spotify Link]

1. Mada Minu Ashita ni (Into the Unseen Tomorrow) - Asian Kung-Fu Generation Chosen by Gege Akutami.

[...] We who are presently here Yes, to an unseen tomorrow No matter how sad the ending awaiting us is Let's call it Hope

2. Everybody Loves Me - OneRepublic Because I'm a cliche.

Oh my, it feels just like I don't try Looks so good I might die All I know is everybody loves me Head down Swingin' to my own sound Flashes in my face now All I know is everybody loves me Everybody loves me

3. YES MOM - Tessa Violet Lyrics are pretty self-explanatory. But specifically, some imagery of Gojo's "honored one" scene comes to mind.

Bet you've been a fan of me See me in your fantasies Everything I got, I got working for me so Eat that, peep that I'm the one to beat, yeah [...]

///

20/20 vision with ambition's how I'm made I can't keep from winning when it's in my DNA Push me down and I bounce right back Trampoline and it's in my past Rising like a phoenix making fire from the ash, yeah

///

God, it's such a treat Just getting to be me Spending all my time on what I want Looking in the mirror I'm so glad I'm here [...]

4. Without Me - Eminem Gojo is a headache everyone wouldn't miss. Especially those higher ups in jujutsu society.

So the FCC won't let me be Or let me be me so let me see They try to shut me down on MTV But it feels so empty without me

///

Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me 'Cause we need a little controversy 'Cause it feels so empty without me

5. Can I Get a Witness - SonReal Some meme songs are really too good.

No, I ain't too flawless and no, I ain't the best And no, I don't say sorry and no, I ain't perfect But I am the man, I am the man Shots fired

6. Trust Issues - Emei I mean, Gojo has this whole grand ambition to change all of jujutsu society because he doesn't trust the ones who do control it. (For good reason.)

Calling them incompetent 'cause I might need control Recovering perfectionist, I'm learning to let go

7. Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer POV: The singer talking about Gojo. Reminded of that one comment Akutami made about how he can't imagine Gojo being sincere to a woman specially.

Fight so dirty but your love's so sweet Talk so pretty but your heart got teeth Late night devil, put your hands on me And never, never, never ever let go

///

Call me in the morning to apologize Every little lie gives me butterflies Something in the way you're looking through my eyes Don't know if I'm gonna make it out alive

8. comedy - Sion Inspired by that one color spread of Gojo and Getou standing as a manzai duo.

No way, tell me this is just a part Of a comedy TV show or a prank You told me, yeah, that we'll only have to laugh My eyes are sweating in regret, so please explain Oops, I did it again If they don't let me play, they all go away Hey, we're friends 'til the end Be mine or it ends You just can't keep a good guy down

9. hot girl bummer - blackbear Honestly, Gojo vibes~✨ And that one line about how he can't be boxed in is too perfect.

Fuck you and you, and you I hate your friends and they hate me too Fuck you and you, and you This that hot girl bummer anthem Turn it up and throw a tantrum This that hot girl bummer 2-step They can't box me in, I'm too left This that drip that's more like oceans They can't fit me in a Trojan [...]

10. Drugs (feat. blackbear) - UPSAHL

So, you say you're moving out of state Soon as you graduate... interesting (yeah) Anyway, you're leaving Need a hug? Okay then Call me up, no, thanks man

///

[...] So just stop the faking Not for here for nameless faces Pointless talkin', conversations [...]

11. High Enough - K.Flay Gojo reaching enlightenment.

I used to like liquor to get me inspired But you look so beautiful, my new supplier I used to like smoking to stop all the thinking But I found a different buzz The world is a curse it'll kill if you let it I know they got pills that can help you forget it They bottle it, call it medicine But I don't need drugs

///

Cause I'm already high enough […]

12. STRUT - EMELINE Gojo Satoru, shameless human dumpster fire.

They say I'm tragically obsessed Hot mess, God forbid, I'm getting what I like Every night, make 'em livid All these saints are watching me My sex life like TMZ You're welcome, bitch, the show is free I don't do the walk of shame, I strut (strut) [...]

13. you should see me in a crown - Billie Eilish Gojo's just biding his time.

Bite my tongue, bide my time Wearing a warning sign Wait 'til the world is mine Visions I vandalize Cold in my kingdom size Fell for these ocean eyes You should see me in a crown I'm gonna run this nothing town Watch me make 'em bow One by, one by one, one by, one by [...]

14. Kid in a Candy Store - JoJo Siwa Obligatory ode to Gojo's love of sweets. 🍭

I don't need no money, just a little bit of honey Got a jellybean heartbeat keeping me hungry Chocolate and vanilla with a strawberry swirl I'll never sugarcoat it, I'm my own kinda girl

15. Candyman - Christina Aguilera

[...] There's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm He's a one stop shop, makes my panties drop He's a sweet talkin', sugar-coated candyman A sweet-talkin' sugar-coated candyman

16. IV. Sweatpants - Childish Gambino Gojo is that rich kid asshole.

[...] I'm winnin', yeah, yeah, I'm winnin' (Why) Rich kid, asshole, paint me as a villain (Whyyy) Don't be mad cause I'm doing me better than you doing you [...]

///

I'm winning so they had to dump the Gatorade And I don't give a fuck about my family name

17. Villain - Bella Poarch

I don't know why I'm like this, I'd love to piss you off Something in my psychosis finds it a little hard I always got good intentions, you tell me I saved your life But I'm craving your attention (and you know that I've got two sides)

18. Gojo Flow - DizzyEight, Mix Williams A song written specifically for Gojo. There’s a bunch of these on Spotify, but only a few I like.

I got that Blindfold Swag, that limitless energy, I'm a menace to society, woah

19. My Ordinary Life - The Living Tombstone So many of the lyrics are so on point I'm left baffled.

They tell me that I'm special, I smile and shake my head I'll give them stories to tell friends about the things I said They tell me I'm so humble, I say, "I'm turning red" They let me lie to them and don't feel like they've been misled They give so much to me, I'm losing touch, get me? Served on a silver platter, ask for seconds, they just let me

///

They tell me I'm a god, I'm lost in the facade Six-feet off the ground at all times, I think I'm feeling odd No matter what I make, they never see mistakes Makin' so much bread, I don't care that they're just being fake They tell me they're below me, I act like I'm above The people blend together but I would be lost without their love

///

Can you heal me? Have I gained too much? When you become untouchable, you're unable to touch Is there a real me? Pop the champagne It hurts me just to think and I don't do pain

19. Shame On Me - Avicii Closing out with the second song chosen by Akutami. Pretty sure he's trying to tell something to those who love Gojo. lmao

I'm baptized and born again Imma raise hell to the bitter end I'm a crazy little bitch in the first degree Shame on you for loving me

[writefightandflightclub]

LUNAAAAA you've got me schreeching at how good ch2 of ride or die is!! Just like the first chapter, this is so special to me!!!

I really love the continued friendship with Frankie, it feels like they are sincerely friends and we can see why.

Absolutely adore the way the complicated emotions of heartbreak are explored. Wanting to deny that you've caused someone else heartbreak bc even if you are the one who ended things you never wanted to hurt the other person, that pit-in-the-stomach realisation that you've broken your own heart, on one hand hating the idea of someone you care so deeply for is unhappy but at the same time their happiness feels like a knife in your soul, the dichotomy of wanting to be with someone that you also cannot bear to face, trying to hide what you are feeling when it is the only thing you can think about... the messy tension and realism of it all has my heart in knots, in the best way!!

Tom is a jerk and deserved some smack-talk, but I really like the reflection that he wasn't necessarily the best target at that moment, that the real anger came from a different source, but in moments like that you do really just want to get the attention away from you. Again, the complexity of emotions and realism in this story makes the pining and yearning and sadness al the more delicious.

I did NOT think Frankie was gonna say Santi has a heartbreak playlist and I want to know what songs are there so bad. This might actually be my favourite detail from the chapter.

Lastly that ending???? You have me beyoooond hooked

Hi darling, and thank you so much for this wonderful ask! 🧡😊

I love that you love the friendship with Frankie. He definitely sticks around through the story and is pretty integral at times. I’m so pleased to hear that friendship feels genuine, as that felt really important for me to convey!

And oh gosh, the complex emotions! I’m so happy all those nuances came across and added to the realism!!! 🥹🧡🙏 They are both feeling SO much, and I really hoped the emotional arc would come across as plausible and true to the characters and who they are and what they want in all of their messy humanness (we’ll see if I pull that off as the story pans out, lol!)!

Ah and thank you for picking up on that Tom moment! Even though they feature to varying degrees, I really did put a lot of thought into how to deal with each of the side characters, especially according to what they are all dealing with pre-canon (which is a LOT), and what their dynamic with reader might be. I wanted reader and Tom to butt heads a little, but I also wanted to humanise him and have her acknowledge when that’s a little problematic too. It would be too easy to make him The Bad Guy when I don’t feel that’s what he is in this story. Plus, they are friends. (As well, this is all set pre-canon so we don’t have as many reasons to be pissed with him yet! 🤣)

And OOOOHH the playlist!!! Well, you are in luck, because I do plan to share a bonus playlist sometime after the story’s conclusion 👀 So happy you enjoyed that detail!

And the ending. I really left you hanging there, huh?! 😅 I think/hope you’ll enjoy the next instalment.

Thank you so much for blessing me with your commentary, it honestly makes me SO happy! 🧡😊🙏

[thewordswewrite]

Lonely Is Our Lives

Chapter 4 - Poison

Pairing | Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

!!VERY IMPORTANT A/N!! | I want to preface this by saying I DO NOT condone Billy’s actions throughout the series. I DO NOT condone his violence or abuse, ESPECIALLY against Lucas but also including Max and the others. At the time season two came out in 2017, nearly FIVE years ago at the time I'm writing this, I was very angry and frustrated at the world, resentful of a younger sibling, and disconnected from the people around me so I kind of latched onto Billy as a character and what he represented. I absolutely DID NOT understand what his actions against Lucas truly meant and I DID NOT register it as the racism it was. Knowing what I know now I've decided to write a fic where Billy is able to let go of some of his anger and have someone there to check him and his actions in order to set him on a better path. I wrote this for me as a bit of a redemption fic for both of us.

Playlist | Link | Chapter Four: Songs 13-16

Story Summary | One fateful 1983 night you narrowly escape death on Steve Harrington’s property while Barbara Holland is presumed dead. Left jaded and angry, you carry on towards your senior year in a haze of sex, drugs, and alcohol just to get through the day. But, when Billy Hargrove moves to Hawkins, Indiana during the fall of 1984 things get worse before they get better.

Chapter Summary | You start feeling uneasy in your agreement with Billy and begin pulling away. At school, you make progress with Nancy but your good mood is quickly ruined. You try to avoid Billy but he shows up at your job and the two of you have an interesting night.

Story Warnings | explicit language, angst, abusive parents, smut 18+ minors DNI, heavy drug and alcohol usage, alcohol/drug abuse, implied physical abuse, injuries,

W/C | 4.2k

Taglist | @youcantbesirius​  @xronniexo​  @zzokks  @marihoneywk @darlingjae @lem0ns7

A/N | Sorry I took a long time off guys I moved across the country for college and I have been trying to get into a routine so I haven't had much time to write. expect the final chapter a little later than next week but probably not months later lol we’ll see..... anyway thanks so much for sticking around though hope you enjoy!! -Smoe

Donations | Link

|Masterlist|  |Chapter One|  |Chapter Two|  |Chapter Three|  |Chapter Five|

You suppressed a cough as you took a, longer than necessary, drag from the blunt before passing it to Billy. It’d been about two weeks since you started hooking up and in that time Billy took to lingering after sex. You’d been hesitant at first to let him stay; you had a strict no-cuddling policy in place for all your flings and didn’t intend on breaking that for Billy. Billy, though, began to stay in bed longer and longer before getting dressed and it had escalated to lying around and smoking, or drinking, or talking. Billy claimed it was because he was tired from ‘fucking you into the mattress for an hour’ but you guessed he might just like the peaceful company. He was always yelling around his sister and her right back so you could imagine the volume at which his house operated and couldn't say you blamed him.

As you laid against Billy’s shoulder, his arm securely wrapped around your waist, you felt a heavy weight settle in your stomach; the way he had begun to pull you to his side, the feel of your combined heat and the post-sex smell lingering in the air. The casual closeness of it all had you on edge. It needled in the back of your mind though that maybe he stayed for you, which scared you far more, suddenly wishing he’d just gone home.

“What’s up?” Billy suddenly broke the silence and your easy mood curdled. He didn’t sound concerned necessarily but the interest was there.

You feigned ignorance, scrunching your eyes closed. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You just seem…” He gestured with the arm you were laying on, jostling you. “Off.”

He was right of course but you didn’t want him to know that. An honest explanation would either wind up with him thinking you were crazy or worse: he’d believe you and think he owed you honesty as well. The thought had you caught between wanting him to tell you everything going on in his life and wishing you didn’t know his name.

You took the blunt back from him, hastily shoving it between your lips and with a shaky exhale rubbed your forehead. Half-truth it was. “It's just–there's an anniversary coming up and it’s got me wired.”

You felt him nod and his chest puffed up before he heaved out through his nose. “I get it,” He plucked the remainder of the weed from your fingertips and finished it off before speaking again. “When my mom left…” Oh God. “It’s fucked and I get fucked in the head about it.”

Your heart is pounding against your ribcage. He thought you were talking about your mom. You played it safe and still he gave you sincerity. Your throat was closing up quick and you had to respond. “Yeah,” you rasped, words thick and sticky in your mouth. “It’s fucked.”

Your shoulder was throbbing, the ache spreading up to your head and you quickly broke out in a sweat. The desire to get away was overwhelming and you pulled yourself from Billy. His fingers stayed lazily attached to you, as if second nature, until you were physically too far away for him to reach you. The final brush of his fingers burned against your skin as you sat on the edge of the bed, your head resting in your hands. You glanced at him over your shoulder, desperate to find him uninterested in you, but were met with dark eyes instead. It unnerved you that he wasn't saying anything, just watching and waiting. Patient. This is too much.

“I need a shower.” You took a steadying breath and stood up. You didn’t give him time to respond as you left the room and locked the bathroom door behind you. 

You shed your shirt and climbed into the steaming water. The shirt was just another thing he didn’t question you about after that first time; just another thing that Billy Hargrove did that made you want to cry. Things were getting too close, too real. Billy was just supposed to be a distraction and you supposed it worked because now he was all you could think about. 

You felt hysterical, you thought you never talked about anything serious but now you realized you knew his favorite color was blue, deep like his Camaro, and that although he didn’t really listen to anything other than hard rock he didn’t really mind the records you put on when he came over. He often told you how he thought Max was ‘such an annoying shitbird,’ but you heard how as he talked his voice grew more fond than irritated. You knew things about him but you’d never divulged much to him before today and it changed things, you felt the tactile shift yet Billy seemed unfazed.

Your fingers rubbed over the grooved ridges of your scar and you shuddered. Memories of the Upside Down mixed with your unease towards Billy made you nauseous. You wracked your brain trying to think how you had let him this close in just two weeks? You stood in the water for longer than you knew, the hot water loosening the physical tension in your body but your mind still raced.

You only turned off the shower when you noticed you’d begun to shiver, the water having gone cold, and you grabbed your towel, wrapping it around yourself. In the silence of the house you listened closely to see if you could hear any indication of Billy’s presence and when you couldn’t you opened the bathroom door and peeked through, eyeing your bed from the hallway to see that it was empty. Relieved, you walked to your room and quickly got dressed.

As you laid in bed staring up at your ceiling, you thought the stress would dissipate but, once again, you were wrong. It wasn’t the type of anxiety that buzzed around you and had your leg shaking a mile a minute, it was the inescapable type that coated your insides, making it all too easy to lose yourself in between sparse breaths. You curled in on yourself, the feeling weighing you down like it was its own source of gravity, pulling you in. Your eyes watered but the tears refused to spill over so instead, you squeezed them tighter and pushed the feeling down.

You needed to sleep, you had school in the morning.

~ ~ ~

The day had been slow going. Your realization of just how entangled your life had become with Billy’s was all that more startling when that morning you noticed yourself unconsciously taking  steps towards Billy’s car. Recently you rarely spent those early hours without him; you’d taken up the habit of sitting with Billy in his car and smoking until first bell but today you searched the parking lot for Steve. You spotted him leaned up against Jonathan Byers car, Nancy between the two boys and sneered. You felt a stab of betrayal towards Steve but you’d been so wrapped up with Billy, you didn’t even notice you only saw your best friend at lunch. Steve moved on from Nancy’s harsh words, and you hadn't even given yourself a chance to.

Throughout the day, your classes dragged and you could barely keep your eyes open because of your restlessness the night before. You confronted Steve about Nancy during lunch and he said he’d simply forgiven her.

“I just don’t understand how you can do that after what she said to us,” You seethed.

Steve sighed and ran a hand down his face. “I love Nancy. She’s important to me,” Steve raised his eyebrows accusingly, “And I don’t want to throw that away just because she’s not in love with me.”

Your eyes rolled so hard it nearly gave you a headache. “I can’t believe you’re using my own words against me.” You pushed your fries around your tray and looked back at Steve.

Steve’s voice dropped a bit and his eyes were sad. “Well you’ve been M.I.A. and I missed my friends.”

You’d apologized and promised to go to his basketball game that Friday and hang out afterward. You didn’t mean to spend all your time with Billy, in fact, you hadn’t even realized you were until the night before, when it hit you all at once and you panicked. Avoidance was something you specialized in, most of the people in your life though, did not.

“I’m sorry!“ A feminine voice assaulted you, pulling you out of your own head. You jumped and looked to see Nancy standing behind your locker door. You just stared blankly at her and continued to rifle through your locker so you could leave. “I was really drunk and I kept thinking about…” She trailed off.

“Steve forgave you, right?” You deadpanned, and slammed your locker closed.

Nancy’s eyebrows furrowed exactly like they always did when she was confused and the way the space between her eyebrows creased was so startlingly familiar it made you ache with longing. You never had many girl friends growing up and even those you did before, you could never say you held too close to your heart but something about Nancy hurt. She cared so deeply about all the people in her life and was quite literally willing to fight monsters for them, for you.

“He did.” She was twisting her fingers together anxiously. “But-”

“Then fine, I forgive you. Happy?” You moved to sidestep her but Nancy blocked your path. Her long skirt swished around her and her newly permed hair shone in the light. She seemed stronger and more confident than before you knew her as ‘Nance’ but the sadness you both shared echoed within her.

“No, I’m not. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said, I know you’re trying to get better and what I said wasn’t fair.” Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears and she strained against the emotion within her.

You crossed your arms over your chest and glanced  away, her pleading starting to get to you. “You were really shitty for that.”

Nancy smiled softly and with regret, “I was.”

She looked into your eyes the way only she could and there wasn’t anything you could do but relent. You heaved a sigh and grabbed her shoulder to pull her into a hug. Her hair smelled eerily similar to Steve’s and you smiled into her shoulder at the idea of Steve giving Nancy hair advice. The two of them were your weakness, they were closer to family than anything else and you missed that.

“You’re such a messy drunk, Wheeler.” Nancy laughed and squeezed you harder. 

When you pulled back, you saw Jonathan beginning to walk up to the two of you. Steve and Nancy had only been broken up for maybe a week so the fondness you found in the Byers boy’s eyes caught you off guard. You released Nancy from your hold and smiled tightly at the boy. Nancy turned and when her eyes caught his they softened, your chest tightened. They shared a silent exchange before your friend finally remembered you were there.

Jonathan stepped forward until Nancy was resting her back against him. No possessive gestures or tight arm around her shoulder but anyone who looked at them could tell they were together. They fit well, all easy touches and quiet words. 

“Are you going to Steve’s game on Friday?” Jonathan asked.

“Yeah,” You nodded mildly confused. “Getting food after too.”

“Awesome, we’ll save you a spot,” Nancy smiled and leaned off of her boyfriend. She took his hand and began to lead him away. “See you later!”

You simply put a hand up in goodbye then finished getting your things from your locker. 

You were getting ready to swing your backpack over your shoulder when you felt the sting of a slap land on your butt followed by a bruising grab. 

“Lookin’ good babe!” You whipped around to see Tommy Hagan with his arm wrapped around Carol, one of his goonie friends following in his wake. Tommy shook his head apologetically and pointed to his friend who held his hands up in surrender, a dopey smile on his face.

You took a step towards him, ready to return the assault when someone shoved after you. You watched as Billy stalked up to the boy and shoved him full strength to the ground, quickly climbing on top of him. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” Billy had the boy’s hoodie twisted in his grip. “You think you can touch my girl like that?” There was spit flying from his mouth as he yelled at the boy below him.

You watched, almost in horror, at the display in front of you. Your arrangement wasn’t supposed to mean anything and now Billy had told anyone and everyone who was listening you were ‘his.’ You wanted nothing more than to go up to Billy and scream in his face that you didn’t belong to anyone, let alone him, but you couldn’t. You flinched at the noise of skin connecting to skin followed by a dull crack as Billy broke the nose of the boy who had grabbed you. You began to retreat backward, bumping into people as you went and made a B-line to your car.

You figured work would help you cool off before you had to face Billy again now that he’d fucked you over. You didn’t date. You weren’t dating. He had no right to act like that…jealous. Billy Hargrove had another thing coming if he thought you were ‘his.’

~ ~ ~

Work had been boring. Robin was only there for half your shift before she got off and you were stuck sitting in an empty record shop for three hours. Almost no one came in except for a few kids right after the middle school let out, but that’s when Robin was still there and you weren’t alone with your thoughts. You’d cooled off after a while but sitting there alone had riled you back up.

You were now sitting at the counter, having already reorganized the records and done stock, the dull thrum of Van Halen in the background and your head resting in your hands. You had more important things in your life to care about other than Billy Hargrove and his ego. There was something stirring in Hawkins and you had been as ignorant as everyone else, content to see nothing. Jonathan and Nancy had been doing recon work on the lab and met up with some guy named Murray to expose the experiments. Hell, even Steve kept busy taking care of the kids but you had been so wrapped up in Billy you hadn’t seen it. 

Although it bothered you that you were out of the loop, you were also a little relieved you could forget about the Upside Down for a bit and pretend you were just a dumb high schooler. No matter how much you didn’t want to admit it, it had been relaxing to lie around with Billy after you fucked, or at least until your shoulder throbbed and you were brought back to reality. You sighed heavily at the memory of Billy’s head between your thighs and dropped your head down onto the counter. In desperation, you looked behind you at the mounted clock and closed your eyes in relief, just fifteen more minutes.

You quickly began your closing routine: turning off neon signs, stopping the music playing over the speakers, and doing one final sweep of the shop before you were putting on your jacket and locking the door behind you. You did a quick sweep of the parking lot and froze when you saw that goddamn blue Camaro parked right next to your car. Your shoulders dropped and you dragged your feet as you walked to your driver’s side door. Billy didn’t even give you the chance to unlock the door before he stepped out of his car and leaned against the hood.

“Come with me,” He wasn’t even looking at you, more occupied with lighting his cigarette than bothering to spare you a glance.

“I’m tired, Billy.” You sluggishly rubbed your eye. “And I can’t just leave my car here.”

Billy stretched his neck, “C’mon, I’ll drive you back when we’re done.”

You shook your head incredulously. “I’m not fucking you tonight!”

Billy’s eyes drew together and he finally looked at you. “That’s not-,”

“You know you have some nerve showing up at my job and demanding sex, especially after that shit you pulled today!” As he stared at you, you noticed that his lip was split and your anger softened.

“Just come with me,” By all accounts to anyone else Billy would sound almost demanding but to you, he sounded…pathetic. “I’ll bring you back, I promise.”

You examined him carefully, searching his face for anything that would put you off and when you found nothing, finally conceded. “Fine.”

You walked around your car to Billy’s and sat in the passenger seat  you’d unknowingly grown accustomed to. When Billy got in, you saw him reach for his favorite—because you knew these things now—cassette and quickly batted his hand away. 

“If I’m coming with then I get to pick,” You challenged.

Billy paused but just put both hands on the wheel and began to back you out of the parking lot. As you flipped through his tapes, you watched Billy out the side of your eye but quickly looked away when suddenly he was doing the same. You felt your cheeks flush from being caught and pulled your full focus onto the music. As you read the bands, you noticed a funny pattern.

“Ya’ know you have basically the same music taste as my buddy Eddie,” You saw Billy’s hands grip the leather of the steering wheel a bit harder and smirked, deciding to push the subject. “Yeah, he’s into all this hard rock and metal stuff,” Nail in the coffin time. “He’s even got this wicked guitar on his wall, it’s like his prized possession.”

“You’ve seen his wall?” Billy tried to ask with as much nonchalance as possible but you knew him too well by now; he was pissed.

“Well, yeah,” You fully faced the window to hide your growing delight. “I get my fix from him…same as you.”

Suddenly, Billy swerves the car off the road and onto a dirt path leading into the woods, the leather of his seat sticking to your exposed legs the only thing keeping you from nearly flying out of your seat.

“Billy, what are you-” Before you could finish your sentence, Billy was throwing his cigarette out the window and his smokey lips were on yours. Frustrated, you pushed him off of you and pressed the heels of your hand into your eyes. “What is your problem?”

“What’s your problem? You’ve been acting insane,” He exploded. “One minute you’re screaming and riding my dick the next you’re leaving and telling me to fuck off!”

“That’s all this is! You’re not my boyfriend!” You yelled back. “We agreed, just sex, nothing else. I. Don’t. Date.”

Billy closed his eyes and slammed his head back against the headrest and you decided to make your point once and for all. Your hand reached over the center consul and found its place on Billy’s thigh, causing him to suck in a quick breath and look at you.

“We agreed, sex is fine,” You raised your eyebrows in question and waited until Billy slowly nodded. “But that’s it.” Billy nodded again and your fingers moved to his belt, slowly undoing it as you watched him get antsy. The button on his jeans looked ready to pop as you palmed him through the denim and you relished in the breathy sigh the boy before you let out at your touch.

You’d previously taken for granted the way you were able to make Billy fall apart, so you wanted to draw this out as long as possible. When you finally freed him from his underwear, he was all but panting at your small touches. 

You took his length in your hand and did a few experimental pumps to gauge how needy he was and smiled when he held his breath, straining against the seat. You had only planned to jack him off but in a moment of impulsiveness, you dipped your head down and wrapped your lips around his cock. Unprepared, Billy’s hand instinctively gripped your hair, causing you to immediately release your suction and sit up.

“That’s not how this is going to work,” You narrowed your eyes and leaned as if to kiss him but stopped just a hair short of his lips. “You don’t touch me and you take what I give you, understand?” Billy’s eyes were locked on yours and he looked a bit taken aback but once again nodded. “Good boy.” 

You moved back down to his lap and Billy grabbed the headrest behind him to steady himself as you once again locked your mouth around him. You took him in painfully slow and you could feel the tension in Billy’s thigh where you had your hand perched to support yourself. When you finally had him at the back of your throat, Billy let out a groan and bucked just enough to make your eyes water. You bobbed your head a little faster and heard Billy’s breath quicken. 

You heard the tell-tale sounds of his impending orgasm and quickly let him go with a pop of your lips, making sure to stop just before he could reach his peak. He huffed out a breath and in apology, you licked up the underside of his cock until you reached the tip and planted a kiss.

Billy looked down at you helplessly. “What the fuck?”

“You didn’t think it was going to be that easy after what you pulled today did you?” You began stroking his length again. “I want you to admit I don’t belong to you, then I’ll let you finish.”

For anyone else, this would have been a no-brainer deal but you knew Billy’s pride. His eyes hardened and he shook his head. “I’m not going to beg.”

You smirked. “We’ll see.”

It was a vicious cycle, watching him so close to coming undone and waiting for him to say the words only to have to stop yourself. You knew he was becoming aggravated but truly you didn’t know how long he could hold this up, so you let out a tentative moan to switch things up.

Almost immediately Billy’s mouth fell open and you could hear soft pleads but not the words you wanted from him. The moans continued to spill from your mouth and reverberate around the car and Billy became louder in his begging.

“P-please,” He choked and slapped a hand over his mouth.

You took him from your mouth and continued pumping. “You know what you have to say,” You smirked to yourself and replaced your hand for your mouth.

You could feel him about to cum and he finally began to speak. “You don't belong-”

The sound of knocking on the window and a light shining through into your eyes startled you both from your fog of pleasure. When you got up, you saw the unmistakable look of disappointment on Chief Hopper’s face. Billy’s face on the other hand was stark white, a cold sweat having broken across his forehead. He was trying to quickly shove himself back into his pants but his hands shook, making you impatient. You rolled your eyes and reached over his lap to roll down the window.

“What’s up, Hop?” You smiled gruffly, past the point of being embarrassed by this man who you fought side by side with.

“C’mon kid, you know you can’t do things like this,” He sighed, rubbing his forehead.

“Sorry Chief, you know how it is,” Your body felt heavy now that the adrenaline of the situation wore off and you yawned. You dared a glance at Billy who’d been uncharacteristically quiet and saw him staring at his lap.

“Look, son,” Hopper turned his flashlight to Billy. “You follow me out of here and I won’t call any parents tonight. Sound good?”

“Yes, sir.” Billy’s voice was horse and he made no attempts to move.

“You’re lucky you’re here with this one,” Hopper nodded at you, “If it were anyone else tonight would’ve ended very differently, Hargrove.”

“Yes, sir.”

Hopper sent you a pointed look and you watched as he walked back to his cruiser. Billy sagged in relief as soon as the two of you heard the slam of Hopper’s door closing and stuttered out a shaky breath.

“What a mood killer,” You joked trying to ease the tension.

“That can’t happen again,” Billy declared in an even voice as he started the car.

You quirked a brow and shrugged, “It’s Hopper, he’s not gonna bag us for anything. Trust me we go way-”

Billy slammed his hand on the dash. “That can’t happen again.”

“Fine then,” You held your hands up in surrender. “Sorry, about the blue balls though, California. Maybe next time.” You smiled sardonically at Billy’s seriousness undercut by his still bulging pants. “Now, take me back to my car.”

[excaive]

OC Lore... from their playlists?

WELP time to expose what’s going on up in my ocs’ heads.

The way I structure my playlists for my ocs is like.... making the top 3 songs the ones I feel says basically everything about them and then the rest just solidifies what the first couple of songs establish.

Of course like. 3 songs is pretty limiting and ALL the songs have some meaning, but I try to order the playlist in a way that either expresses their journey or somewhat categorized together based on the songs’ vibes - but it is pretty loose.

I know literally no one but me will ever get the core vibes for any given oc just from a couple of song bc I’m the only one who has the whole context for each character lol but lemme try and give you an idea by explaining a few playlists and songs and inevitably tell you more about my ocs than they’d share :3

Putting it under a cut but I’m gonna talk about Keith, Cass, Roger, NEMESIS and KILLJOYE’s playlists.

[KEITH’S PLAYLIST]

Keith’s playlist mainly consists of electronic and synth tunes with no/little vocals, so I feel like they’re the hardest to get a distinct read on for anyone but me - THAT SAID even I have trouble understanding their vibes. This makes a lot of sense considering Keith is my attempt at putting a face on my own unintelligible stuffed down emotions lol Like c’mon Keith you’re supposed to help me understand, not clam up and put a lock on the door I tried to open :/ we’ll get there eventually tho lmao

ANYWAY

the first 3 songs says basically what I’ve already shared about them here, the tunes and their titles go hand in hand.

The first one is, as you can see, called the same as their name. It is a coincidence, I did not name them Keith bc of this song lol but the vibes..... for me, it’s about Keith and Kqo’twec’s relationship with each other - and just the swirling emotions from being bonded and how that progresses throughout their journey. The sound is pretty consistent and steady starting out, but then increases in intensity, somewhat overwhelming -  and then it calms down again and feels like the swirling emotions have settled and more digestible and Keith and Kqo’twec are better in sync with each other.

The next two are basically just summing up the fact Kqo’twec chose to bond with Keith, saving them from bleeding to death by themself in a ditch lol

Resurrection does have some vocals, saying “wavering emotions | surpressed desires | live” which. Yeah.

I’m not gonna attempt to explain every top 3 songs in detail or else this will get REALLY long. But also it’s really hard to explain tunes that have no lyrics you can dissect. Those are just vibes u gotta feel in ur ears and judge for yourself.

[CASS’ PLAYLIST]

ough Cass.... 😳

Anyway, first song. That’s just about Getting Some.

This does not clear anything up, most of the songs on her playlist is about sex LMAO

Cass is a tall, beefy, hot and sexy lesbian who gets laid consistently so like. Yeah. She just loves herself a lot and also she loves women so might as well combine that :p

The second song tho. Oof. 180 turn on the vibes.

That is from the perspective of her Dragon Parasite. I can’t be too specific, but she got a modified Dragon Parasite, which essentially means the Parasite has been put in an artificial coma and Cass gets its attributes without having to deal with it bonding with it yeah?

And modified major parasites aren’t legal or available to the public because they’re way more likely to be resistant to modification and generally are pretty dangerous to the host because of the risk of an Unstable Bond occuring, but Cass wasn’t told about the actual high risks it might pose to get a modified major parasite (not to mention it being a Dragon Parasite those bitches are already complicated compared to other major parasites) + she didn’t really care because she was so self-absorbed to change her appearance she gambled on this parasite to be The Answer To Her Problems, yeah?

And the nature of a bond between a host and parasite essentially comes down to mutual respect, and understanding of each other to be able to cooperate and maintain a good bond especially with a major parasite that is your life buddy so you need to communicate and compromise so you both thrive, yeah?? You will need to get real intimate and personal with a major parasite to bond. Parasites become a part of you so you will have to let them inside for them to understand you and vice versa?

Do you see the problem here??? Anyway, pressing F for Cass, she had this coming. Actions have consequences but at least she’s hot now so. Worth?

THIRD SONG. This is in the same vein as the first song but more about... secretive desires. There’s no love involved here.

[ROGER’S PLAYLIST]

CARROT BOY MY BELOVED!!!! 🥕💚

Absolute ray of sunshine, he’s just so fun and energetic and able to befriend almost anyone :] #good vibes

However none of my oc playlists are about how they come off to other people and present themselves, I want to see all the messy, knotted and tangled up wires underneath >:)

FIRST SONG.... This also doubles as how I imagine Roger’s voice sounds, so that’s dope This is just mostly about doubts - about himself, the future and those around him. iidk what else to say tbh I just feel like you’ll have to listen for yourself lol

The second song... basically just kind of the vibes for how he deals with things whether that being about the past or present.

Third song. I enjoy the like... eerie vibe the melody gives. Do you have any idea of how often Roger is holding onto his will to live by hairstrand? well I mean, probably not, I hardly touch this aspect of him on my blog, y’all mostly get the same amount of Roger as he presents to most people.

Roger is such a hot mess emotionally I literally don’t even know how to summarize it. But the next playlist might give some insight!

[NEMESIS’ PLAYLIST]

If you aren’t aware, NEMESIS is Roger from 3+ years from the present (Roger is 24) so Roger from his teens to early twenties.

Roger used they/them pronouns back then as NEMESIS and I’m gonna be switching between the pronouns depending on what I’m talking about lol

NEMESIS is the name Roger preferred, being his alias online for the music he made as well. NEMESIS’ playlist is both vibes for their feelings and the music they wanted to make. I say wanted to because they didn’t have the proper equipment to make more than melodies. But I mean, it’s the same thing, they wanted to vent out their feelings, but wasn’t able to - so it all just stayed on the inside.

So the 3 songs...

Well. I don’t really need to talk about them specifically, I can just say their whole playlist is just.

Angry.

So angry.

Frustrated. Aggressive.

Hopeless.

So fucking angry over things they couldn’t control and it just festered into deep self-hate because all of it just bottled up with no place to go.

Obviously, things did change a lot for the better into the present and we have Roger now :] You can bet that he is absolutely supressing all those feelings from the past tho. Never learned any other way to deal with it :( He just learned how to carry himself in a different way.

[KILLJOYE’S PLAYLIST]

KJ’s playlist is an absolute trainwreck of weird vibes. Just like them <3

FIRST SONG. This is from their early days when I first made them as a funny little slasher guy and I can’t get myself to remove it from the top. However, the vibes are still very relevant.

Obsessive and violent themes are prevalent through their playlist.

What goes on in their head is very fast paced, plagued with obsessive intrusive thoughts and compulsions. This is a big factor in their behavior, being loud and eccentric to both distract themself and anyone else from what’s going on. The last two should be obvious. KJ is a Freak. and they also wear Pink (like a freak)

Other vibes in their playlist are like about the weird shit they’re into. They’re a Certified Freak

OK THAT’S IT.

Have fun if u check out any of the tunes, if not that’s literally chill I can’t force you to listen lol, but if anything I hope you enjoy getting a snippet into the heads of my ocs from what I’ve written <3

[aimee-pisces]

Redacted Asmr Aftershock Thoughts (Inversion Spoilers)

I wanted to write out some of my predictions / thoughts about the aftershock, and what will happen next. No clue if they’ll be accurate, (or coherent) but we’ll see lol :)

David

-For his audio, I’m really interested to see how he’ll explain things to Angel

-I know Milo tried to explain what happened, but it’ll be interesting to see if David explains his reasons for putting the ward up to Angel

-He’s gonna have a lot of guilt, even though people would’ve gotten hurt whether he made that call to put the ward up or not

-Maybe a bit of survivors guilt?

-Mainly, it’ll be interesting to see what he thinks if / when he finds out that Milo was the one who brought the ward down

Damien and Lasko

-Ok I’m not sure about this one, but I feel like they’re gonna talk about Kody

-For one, Kody’s playlist says “completed”

-Also, Damien and Lasko were the two main characters to interact with Kody sometime around the inversion

-The way that Kody was making fun of Lasko was awful, and also what he did to the others inside the ward. I’m glad that Damien tried to fight him 😤

-It’s really sweet to see that Damien and Lasko get along a lot more now. Lasko doesn’t seem scared of Damien at all, it’s so cute to see how much they’ve both grown!

Asher

-Really not sure what his will be tbh

-Maybe dealing with the after effects of that much healing? Like being tired and stuff??

-I’ve seen some people (not sure who, but if that was you lmk and I can tag you) make theories that Ash would’ve seen the river, or even Brachium if he got that close to dying

-I don’t personally think that’ll happen, but it would be cool!

Huxley and Gavin

-This one’s gonna hurt

-They’re gonna talk about Xavier 😭

-Gavin might blame himself for not being able to protect him

-Hux is gonna be so heartbroken… I’m not ready y’all

-I don’t think that Hux would be the type to blame others though, so hopefully him and Gavin will take care of each other <3

Milo

-Ngl I’m very worried for his audio

-It’ll be super interesting to see how all that magic will affect him, good or bad

-Will it impact his ability to shift?

-Milo also says something about his threads being strong (I think), so I’m really hoping that this won’t “slice” them (like what happened to others in the imperium)

-And he kinda defied David’s orders by trying to get the ward down, so if the pack finds out that would probably cause some issues. Then again, it also saved their lives so idk

-I’m just really hoping that he doesn’t get caught by the department

Vincent

-Out of all the audios, I think I’m looking forward to this one the most

-We’re hopefully gonna learn more about what it’s like for someone to be tuned into a vampire

-I wonder how that’ll impact Lovely’s electro energetic powers, since their core will be different

-At the same time though, it seems like they didn’t have very long to get used to their powers. So idk how they’ll feel about that aspect. A blessing and a curse I guess?

-Also does this mean that Vincent can’t bite them anymore?

-I think I’m starting to see why this months Patreon audio was Imperium Vincent lol

-Since the stuff with Bright Eyes and Fredrick isn’t on the channel anymore, it makes sense that we’ll have a different story that goes through what being turned is like

-It’s also interesting that all the maker-progeny relationships are pretty different

-Like Will and Vincent are kinda like father and son, but Vincent and Lovely are a couple, and Alexis and Sam are a whole different story lol

-I feel like the power imbalance might make things kinda weird between Lovely and Vincent, and the whole not being able to lie to him thing

-But I know that those two are good with communicating, so I think that they’ll be ok

-And them being extra aware of each others feelings will be something worth exploring, either in this audio or in the future

-I haven’t listed to the vampire audios that much, so I’m probably forgetting a lot

Anyways those are my thoughts and predictions, feel free to reply with yours!

[babyjamiebarnes]

Build-A-Bear

Part One

Featuring: Bucky x Stark!reader, dad!Tony, Peter Parker (platonic), background MCU characters

Warnings: [chapter] language; [series] language, smut, violence

Summary: The only people who knew she was actually a Stark were her dad, her step-mom Pepper, and her “uncles” Happy and Rhodey. A promotion within Stark Industries takes her from an already-sought after position in the Weapons Anaylsis Unit straight to the Avengers as a Weapons Enhancement Specialist... which means her dad is her new boss. There’s only one rule at work: no fraternizing with coworkers. There’s one more rule at home: no dating any Avengers. So what is she supposed to do when a grumpy super soldier becomes not-so-grumpy around her? At 25, do her dad’s rules still apply? Or is her entire livelihood at risk?

Author’s Note: I’ve written a decent portion of this but know I won’t keep writing it or post it unless I hold myself accountable and get it out there in the first place 🙈 I haven’t written much for Marvel yet but I’ve read plenty and have written for other fandoms in the past (not to mention the writing degree on my wall lol). I’ll try to post every 2-3 days to keep this moving! And if you like it and want to, buy me a coffee!

No one knew Tony Stark had a daughter. No one but Tony Stark and his daughter. Well, and her step-mom Pepper. And her godfather Rhodey. And her uncle-not-uncle Happy. But no one in their everyday lives knew. She was given her mother’s maiden name and kept a secret, even when she turned 17 and moved to a small apartment near NYU’s campus (with Happy stationed right next door, of course) to start life as a truly normal adult, or as close to normal as an undercover Stark could be. When she graduated with her PhDs in robotics and electrical engineering at 25 — proving brains really do run in the family — she moved into her own apartment in Manhattan, funded by her father under the pseudonym “Michael Myers.” Subtlety was never his strong suit.

Fortunately for you, growing up without the Stark name let you live a relatively normal life. It also allowed you to apply for a position within Stark Industries without being ushered past any red tape because of who your father is. Outside of the financial advantage you had, you worked for your spot in a STEM career. You suffered through every man in your field belittling your work despite knowing less than you. You dealt with the constant interruptions and “well, actually” because of your gender. You powered through late nights and early mornings when your mind was flowing too smoothly to quit.

The last thing you wanted to do was have all that work disregarded because you shared a name with genius billionaire playboy philanthropist Tony Stark. So you filled out the application, sent in your resume and cover letter, and attached three letters of recommendation from your professors. You went through hours of interviews, background checks (conveniently redacting your father’s name), and polygraph tests until that offer letter showed up in your email. You even had to sign the Non-Disclosure Agreements that would bar you from discussing *anything* work-related with anyone outside of your department.

You spent your first year in the weapons analysis department, evaluating alien weaponry and determining how it worked and how to disable it. You had your fair share of mishaps, of course. Holes blasted into walls, fried robot dummies, even burnt animal carcasses. By the end of your first year, your supervisor sent a commendation and proposal for you for an undisclosed promotion. After Pepper Potts “thoroughly examined your resume, cover letter, and accomplishments during your tenure with Stark Industries,” as the letter read, you were awarded a position working on the Avengers’ weapons as a Weapons Enhancement Specialist. You’d never see a fight in-person, but you were assigned to work on advancements and post-battle repairs for everyone, from the Winter Soldier’s arm to the Falcon’s wings to Vision’s... everything. The only heroes you wouldn’t work on were Iron Man and War Machine (those were your dad’s territory) and Spider-Man.

On your first day in your new position, the one and only Pepper Potts showed you to your new lab on the 47th floor. It took all your willpower to look your step-mother in the eye and say, “Wow, Miss Potts. This is amazing. It’s such an honor to meet you,” with a straight face to convince any passerby that you had no outside affiliation with her. Even if her eyes stayed steady on you, you could see her mentally rolling them.

Once you were alone behind the doors of the elevator, conversation changed course.

“You’re going to be sharing a lab with someone else,” Pepper said.

“Sweet. As long as they’re competent, that’s fine by me,” you shrugged. Part of earning your degrees was learning to share a workspace with others, even those who bumbled and fumbled with no idea what they were doing. You’d had more hair singed by nearby explosions than you’d like to admit.

“He’s still in college so he’s not here as often as the others. Most of his work will be on Spider-Man’s gadgets and suit, but you can use him for any help you need.”

Walking past the familiar faces of Dr. Banner and Dr. Cho in their respective labs, Pepper ushered you into your lab, where you were met by your father and put on the same excited facade you did with Pepper.

“Oh my god, you’re Tony Stark! This is incredible! It’s such an honor to meet you, sir!”

He shook his head at you and reluctantly accepted your outstretched hand. Oh, the jokes you’d be making at family dinners.

“Yeah, anyway, this is your new lab, Miss [Y/L/N]. Make yourself at home. This lab rat over here is mister Parker. If you have any questions, he can at least bullshit an answer for you.”

The young man on the other side of the lab perked up at the sound of his name. He tugged the goggles off his face and set down his soldering rod to rush over to you.

“Hi. Hi, I’m Peter,” he said, reaching his hand out to you.

“I’m [Y/N]. It’s nice to meet you, lab partner.”

He looked to be a bit younger than you and at least relatively smart, if the MIT sweatshirt peeking out from under his lab coat said anything. If your dad gave him an internship like this, you knew you shouldn’t question it. He had to be a genius.

The kid just smiled at you, continuing to shake your hand past what most would deem socially acceptable.

“Okay, enough of that,” Tony said, pushing on your joined hands to separate you two. “Mister Parker might be in and out of the lab from time to time. He joins the Avengers on the occasional recon mission for immediate repairs but since he’s on break from classes, you’ll see him more often than not. Play nice.”

When he noticed you surreptitiously looking Peter up and down, he added, “Remember, no fraternizing with coworkers.” He pointed a finger directly at you before he spun and pointed to your fellow lab mate, realizing he should warn Peter too to save face.

“All the blueprints you need for the Tin Man’s arm are in the system. We’ll have you start on that and see what you can do about minimizing the sound that thing makes. Any other questions, give Pep a call.”

“Thank you, mister Stark. I really do appreciate everything,” you said genuinely.

“Yeah, well… don’t let me down,” he replied, patting you on the shoulder on his way out. Pepper followed close behind, leaving you alone with Peter Parker.

“So Peter,” you started, sliding onto the lab chair next to where he remained standing, “tell me about yourself.”

“Uh… what do you want to know?” he asked as he shoved his hands into his coat pockets.

“How old are you?” you asked immediately.

“I’m 21.”

Only four years younger than you. So you’d probably get along just fine.

“I assume you’re at MIT?” He nodded. “What are you studying?”

“Biomolecular and mechanical engineering.” He said it so casually, you’d think he was talking about the last song he heard on the radio.

“Damn,” you responded, eyes wide. “I thought robotics and electrical engineering was wild but fuck, that sounds like hell.”

He laughed and nodded, letting a bit of the tension in his shoulders fall. “Yeah, it’s not easy. But it’s worth it.”

He shot you a small smile before gesturing back at his project. “I should probably get back to work and let you get started.”

For the rest of the day, you familiarized yourself with the Winter Soldier’s arm to figure out how to… turn the volume down? You assumed it was the gears inside causing the noise, but part of you wanted to outfit an audio jack and speaker just to fuck with your dad.

You and Peter worked in relative silence, aside from the playlist he had quietly playing through the lab sound system. When lunch rolled around, however, you finally spoke up.

“Hey Peter,” you called, his eyes flicking from the chemical beakers in front of him up to you. “First of all, what are you doing?”

“Um, it’s Spider-Man’s web fluid. Just trying to find more durable combinations.”

“Interesting.” As much as you wanted to touch the stringy substance, you knew better than to fiddle with someone else’s lab work. “Okay so second thing, in my last position, I’d just order food and have it brought to my floor but now that I’m on an exclusive floor, what do you do for lunch?”

“Oh, there are a couple security guys who have clearance to come into this floor. They just can’t get into any rooms so you’d have to meet them at the elevator. But I usually find something in the kitchen down the hall.”

“Oh, sweet. Thanks!” you said as you made your way out the door. Before you could fully exit, you turned back to see if Peter wanted you to grab anything. Once he promised he’d take his own break ‘once I get this one thing figured out,’ you continued to make your way to the kitchen.

As you drew closer to the doorway, you could hear three voices speaking over each other. They didn’t sound angry, but they were definitely arguing. You opened the door anyway and almost immediately froze in your tracks. The Falcon stood with one hand on his own head and one on the Winter Soldier’s head while Captain America rolled his eyes before those same eyes landed on you, along with the rest of the room.

“Perfect,” Sam started. “Hey new girl, between the three of us,” he said, pointing to himself, the Soldier, and the Captain, “who has the best hair?”

“First of all, my name is [Y/N]. Second,” you continued, making your way past them to the fridge you hoped your dad kept stocked with goodies, “that’s an unfair question.”

You grabbed a soda and popped it open before turning back to the three men. “Your hair suits each of you. Cap wouldn’t look good with Winter Soldier hair and Falcon wouldn’t look good with Cap’s hair.” You took a few steps closer, leaning against the island counter between you and eyeing each of them. Your eyes settled on the Winter Soldier, unashamedly flitting across his face and admiring the sharpness of his features. “You,” pointing at him, “could probably pull off either of their looks, though.”

Bucky smirked at you, but his rosy cheeks gave away a hint of embarrassment at your compliment. Steve and Sam, on the other hand, weren’t taking it quite as gracefully.

“What?!” Sam shouted. “Okay, now I know you’re lying. I could pull off Cap’s hair for sure.”

“You know, I think shaggy hair would really suit me,” Cap said, only half sarcastically.

You giggled to yourself as the three of them started talking over each other again, all dead set on their own hair being the best of them and positive they could pull off the others’ looks. While they bickered, you searched the pantry until you found a snack to at least get you through the remainder of the day.

“Alright boys, it’s been fun but I have work to do,” you said as you walked past them again. “Actually, wait. Bucky — can I call you Bucky?” He nodded even though you continued anyway. “If you could stop by lab six today, I’d love to check out your arm in person. The digital renderings aren’t quite the same.”

“Uh, okay. Sure. I’ll find you,” he said quietly.

“Sweet, thanks!” And with that, you skedaddled back to your lab.

[bibbawrites]

Life Is A Highway - Single Dad!Charlie x Owen

THIS IS PART 9 OF THE SINGLE DAD!CHARLIE SERIES, YOU CAN FIND THE OTHER PARTS HERE

Request: none

Word Count: 4397 words

Summary: Part 9 of Single Dad!Charlie, Margaux and Charlie roadtrip to Oklahoma for the JATP streaming party 

Warnings: swearing, sexual references pretty sure everyone knows at this point but this does include romantic chowen, remember this is fictional, if you dont like that just dont read :)

A/N: correct me if i’m wrong but i’m pretty sure this is the longest part of this series so far, it got a bit out of control lol  set at the end of january when charlie and jeremy joined owen in oklahoma, this is charlie and marguax’s trip there and the day leading up to the streaming party days  also in this owen didnt move into the studio apartment, he moved into a slightly larger version of his current apartment :) anyways, hope you enjoy! 

Tag List: @happinessinthedarkesttimes​​​​​​​ @littlemissaddict​​​​​​​ @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic​​​​​​​ @headheartbellarke​​​​​​​ @lovesanimals​​​​​​​ @bartok-the-magnificent​​​​​​​ @juliefromaustralia @multi-universe21 @rangerelik @kaitieskidmore1 ​​​​​​ @fandomxreaders​​​​​​​​ @ifilwtmfc @yagorlemmalyn​

“Daddy?” Margaux piped up from her car seat. Charlie glanced in the mirror. They had been in the car for almost 14 hours now, with only a few short stops for lunch and toilet breaks, and it was almost time for them to stop for the night. 

“Yeah baby? You hungry?” Charlie questioned, and Margaux nodded. 

“A little bit, but can we listen to Julie?” She gave him a small grin, and Charlie smiled, reaching for his phone to bring up the Julie and the Phantoms album, and stop his country music playlist. 

“Of course we can. Which song?” He asked. 

“Umm.” Margaux trailed off. “Great!”

Charlie chucked to himself, turning the song on and glancing at his daughter every so often as she happily sung along to the song. Margaux was obsessed with Julie and the Phantoms, her favourite character was Alex and she often requested to be dressed in pink just to match him. Charlie was actually quite surprised it had taken her this long to request the album. 

The GPS told him to pull off at the next exit if he wanted to stop at the motel he had planned to, so Charlie obeyed, his focus going back onto the driving as Margaux happily belted Stand Tall from her car seat. 

- 

No more than 20 minutes later Charlie was pulling into the carpark of a small motel and parking, before turning in his seat to see Margaux. 

“We’re gonna stay here tonight, okay? And then drive the rest of the way to Papa’s tomorrow.” He told her, and she peered out of the window. 

“A hotel!” Margaux exclaimed excitedly. Charlie chuckled slightly, looking at the run down motel they had stopped at. It was far from the exciting ‘hotel’ Margaux saw it as, but he loved how her childhood innocence could make it seem like the most incredible place she had ever seen. 

“Yeah baby. We’ll go in and have a bath and then maybe we’ll go find some food to eat, how does that sound?” He smiled and Margaux nodded. 

“Good.” She agreed. 

“Okay good, let’s go in then.” Charlie pulled his mask on and reached across to the passengers seat for the bag he had packed their essentials for the night in, and placed it on his back once he climbed out of the car. He walked around the car, opening up Margaux’s door and getting the four year old out of her seat and lifting her into his arms. 

“Gotta go talk to the people.” He told her, locking the car and heading into the reception to book one night, letting them know that they would be leaving before the sun rose in the morning. 

Once they had the key Charlie and Margaux headed back out into the early evening and found their room, entering it easily. Charlie placed Margaux down once he had shut the door behind them, and the four year old ran over to the window instantly, peering out of it like she did with every place they stayed at. 

Charlie smiled, throwing the bag down onto the bed and sitting down, pulling his mask off. 

“Do you wanna have a bath before we go get dinner baby?” He questioned. 

“No.” Margaux replied simply. Charlie laughed. 

“Can I at least change you into some warmer clothes?” He asked, and Margaux thought for a moment before nodding, coming over to her father and letting him change her into the long, fluffy pants and hoodie he had pulled out of the bag, and when she was done, placed a tiny beanie on her head. 

Charlie grinned. 

“Okay, what do you want for dinner? Anything you want.” He said, pulling her onto his lap, and she snuggled closer, thinking. 

“Um...” Margaux trailed off. “Burger King!” 

Charlie stood up, shifting Margaux to his hip and putting his mask back on before grabbing the car keys. 

“Burger King it is then. Let’s go find some dinner.” 

- 

They found a Burger King with no trouble at all, and entered the restaurant, Charlie quickly heading to the counter and ordering, before moving off to the side to wait, while Margaux cuddled into his arms, her head on his shoulder as she watched the workers preparing the food. 

“Charlie?” A female voice came from behind them, and Charlie spun around to find a young girl, no older than 16, and who he assumed to be her mother. 

“Hi.” He smiled, suddenly very aware of the weight of Margaux on his hip. He really tried to avoid having interactions with fans with her around, he never knew what one of them might share about his daughter, and her safety was his first priority always. 

“Oh my gosh it’s really you! Hi! I’m such a big fan of Julie and the Phantoms.” The girl exclaimed, and Charlie grinned.

“Aw thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He said sincerely, 

“Oh she loves it. Made the whole family watch it. It’s all she ever talks about.” The girl’s mother chimed in and Charlie chuckled. 

“Mum.” The girl groaned slightly, but her mother was undeterred, shifting her attention to the four year old in Charlie’s arms, who had moved her head to continue watching the workers. 

“Is this little one yours? I didn’t know you had a child.” The mother asked, and Charlie bit his lip slightly at the question. 

“Yeah she is. I don’t like to bring her up much, I prefer to keep her life as private as possible.” Charlie told her and the woman nodded, an understanding smile on her face. As if she knew they were talking about her, Margaux lifted her head off Charlie’s shoulder, turning to look at her dad, before focusing on the two strange faces in front of her.  

“Oh you’re such a cutie.” The woman complimented and Margaux grinned, snuggling her head into Charlie’s neck.

“Thank you.” She mumbled, and Charlie grinned. It was a rare sight to see Margaux shy around strangers, the little girl was normally one to be confident. Clearly when she was sleepy it was a different story. 

“4341?” The girl behind the counter called and Charlie glanced down at the receipt in his hand, seeing it was his number. 

“That’s us, excuse me for a moment.” He said, before walking over to the counter to grab the food. 

“You keep this safe baby.” Charlie handed the bag to Margaux who nodded eagerly, clearly excited with the job she had been give. 

Charlie turned back to the girl serving, taking the drinks from her and smiling despite the fact she couldn’t see it through his mask. 

“Have a lovely evening.” She said, and he nodded. 

“You too.” He replied, walking back over to the young fan and her mother. 

“We’re gonna head out, but before I go, did you want to take a photo or something?” Charlie questioned, and the girl shook her head. 

“No it’s okay, she looks really comfy and I wouldn’t want to disrupt her.” She said, glancing at Margaux who had the bag clutched to her chest and her head back on Charlie’s shoulder. 

“Are you sure?” Charlie checked, and the girl nodded. 

“Yeah positive, I have the memories. And don’t worry, if I mention meeting you I won’t mention the little one.” She told him, and Charlie breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Thank you.” He said, and she smiled. 

“No problems at all. Have a good night.” She replied. 

“You too, it was lovely meeting you. Both of you.” Charlie said, his tone genuine. 

With one last goodbye Charlie and Margaux headed out of the restaurant and back to his car, placing the drinks on the front seat before moving to put Margaux in her car seat. 

“Who was that Daddy?” She asked as he buckled her in, placing the bag of food back on her lap so that she could continue her special job. 

“Just some friends baby.” He told her. Margaux nodded slightly. 

“Okay... Can I have my nuggets now?” She asked, and Charlie chuckled, shutting her door and climbing into the drivers seat. 

“As soon as we get back baby.” He promised. “As soon as we get back.”

- 

Charlie was up before the sun the next morning, packing the bag and putting it in the car before taking a still sleeping Margaux and checking out.

He clipped Margaux into her seat gently, trying not to disturb her, and decided to go live for a few minutes before he left the motel while he ate some breakfast quickly, angling the camera so that Margaux couldn’t be seen. And then as he pulled out of the car park he ended live, opting to play music quietly instead. 

Margaux slept for hours, and by the time she woke up they were only a couple of hours out of Oklahoma. 

“Daddy?” Her voice came from the backseat, and Charlie grinned, looking at her through the mirror. 

“Hey! Good morning baby. Did you sleep well?” He said, and Margaux nodded. 

“Yeah, I was dreaming that we were in a boat and there was a horsey there and he was really mean but then you told him not to be mean and he said sorry and I got to play with him.” Margaux rambled sleepily, and Charlie smiled softly.

“That sounds really good baby.” He said and Margaux made a noise in response. 

“Are we gonna be there soon?” She asked, and Charlie glanced at the GPS. 

“About two more hours.” He told her, and Margaux frowned. 

“Is that a small time?” She questioned. Charlie chuckled slightly before answering her. 

“It’s a little bit long but not much. We’ll be seeing Papa before you know it.”

-

Just over two hours and one late lunch and toilet break later, Charlie pulled into the parking garage of Owen’s apartment building, using the code that Owen had sent him, and parked in front of Owen’s new car.

“Ready?” He asked, turning in his seat only to find Margaux fast asleep again, her favourite toy penguin clutched in her arms. 

He chucked slightly, climbing out of the car and walking around to lift Margaux out of her seat gently, so that he wouldn’t wake her.

He shut the door and locked it, walking over to the stairwell and putting in a different code. He carried her up the stairs and wandered along a hallway until he reached the door of Owen’s apartment, knocking gently.

The door opened revealing Owen, and his eyes lit up when he saw Charlie and Margaux on the other side.

“Hey!” He whispered, and Charlie grinned.

“Hey, missed you.” He replied. Owen pulled them into the apartment.

“I have a room for Maggie, but I want you to see it when she sees it so we’ll put her on my bed for now.” Owen said, dragging Charlie down the hallway to his room, where Charlie placed Margaux down onto the bed, tucking her in and kissing the top of her head gently. 

“Sounds good. You can watch her and I’ll go grab the bags and bring them up.” Charlie said once he had stood back up. Owen smiled, glancing down at Margaux before looking back up at Charlie. 

“Okay.” He agreed, and Charlie turned to leave the room, but was stopped by Owen’s voice. 

“Hey Charlie?” He said, and Charlie turned back. 

“Yeah?” He questioned. 

Owen stepped closer, placing a soft kiss to Charlie’s cheek.

“I’m glad you’re here.” 

-

An hour later and Margaux was awake again and bouncing off the walls with excitement and energy. 

“Can I see it now?” She begged, jumping on the spot in front of Owen, and Charlie regretted letting her have a cup of Fanta with her late lunch. 

“Okay, you ready?” Owen agreed, and Margaux cheered. Owen led them to a door off to the side of where his bedroom was, and Charlie smiled at the clearly handmade name plate on the door, with Maggie written in a neat pink cursive. 

“Open it, open it!” Margaux begged, grabbing onto Charlie’s leg with excitement, and Owen obeyed, opening the door to reveal a small bedroom, painted a soft pastel pink. There was a white bed in the middle of the room, and fairy lights strung around, and a bookshelf filled with children’s books. And in the corner was a small wooden chest, clearly filled with toys. 

“Do you like it?” Owen asked nervously. Margaux’s face lit up and she rushed into the room, instantly jumping on the bed. 

“I wanna stay here forever!” She exclaimed, and Charlie grinned, wrapping an arm around Owen. 

“I’d say that’s a yes.” He joked, and Owen bit his lip. 

“But do you like it?” He asked, eyes full of hope. Charlie nodded. 

“I love it. You didn’t have to do this much for her though.” He said softly, glancing around the room as Margaux excitedly explored. 

“I wanted to. Remember what you told me in Hawaii? That I’m her parent too and that we’re a little family? Well this is what a parent would do.” Owen shrugged slightly and it took everything in Charlie not to kiss Owen in that moment. 

“Thank you.” He whispered instead, and Owen bit his lip, hesitating like he wanted to say something but ultimately decided against it. Eventually he settled on a small smile.

“Any time.” 

- 

Later that night Margaux was tucked into her new bed after finally coming down from the excitement and slight sugar high. Charlie and Owen had showered, and had made themselves comfortable in Owen’s bed, Charlie’s head on Owen’s chest as the younger boy flicked through Netflix, trying to find them something to watch. 

“This okay?” Owen asked after a moment and Charlie hummed in agreement, not even checking what Owen had decided on, too content with listening to Owen’s heartbeat. 

The movie started in the background, but Charlie’s whole focus was on Owen, and how much he had missed being snuggled up to the younger boy, the only scent a mixture of spearmint, body wash and something so uniquely Owen. It was intoxicating. 

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Owen’s voice snapped him out of his daze, and he shifted slightly. 

“Just really fucking missed you, that’s all.” Charlie mumbled, instantly relaxing when Owen’s fingers threaded through his hair. 

“It was only a month.” Owen replied, and Charlie sighed. 

“I know, but still. I wanna be with you all the time.” He said. Owen took a deep breath. 

“About that...” He started. “I tried to tell you this at New Year’s but-”

“Daddy?” Margaux’s voice came, and Owen swore under his breath. Charlie sat up, whatever Owen was going to say would have to wait. 

“What’s up baby?” He asked, as Margaux climbed up onto Owen’s bed and into her father’s arms. 

“Missed you.” She mumbled, her face pressed into Charlie’s bare chest. “Wanna sleep here.” 

“Okay but only for tonight, okay?” Charlie compromised, and Margaux nodded. 

“Into bed then.” Charlie instructed, wriggling over to allow Margaux to slide into the bed between him and Owen. 

“Sorry O, we’ll talk tomorrow, okay?” Charlie said, and Owen sighed, but nodded nonetheless. 

“Sounds good.” He mumbled, flicking the TV off and laying down on Margaux’s other side. Charlie frowned at the sudden darkness, but laid down anyways, reaching across Margaux to grab Owen’s hand, linking their fingers. 

“Night O, love you.” He whispered. 

“Love you too.” Owen whispered back after a moment. “And love you Maggie.” 

“Love you Papa, love you Daddy.” Margaux chimed in. 

“Love you baby girl.” Charlie finished, placing a kiss on Margaux’s head as the four year old shifted to grab onto him like a koala. Charlie wrapped an arm around her before snuggling closer to Owen. 

This was it, he thought as he drifted off. This was his happy place. 

- 

The next day started with making pancakes, before moving into Margaux’s new room to play with some of her toys and get her used to the idea of sleeping in there alone. 

Not much later Margaux decided she was hungry, and Charlie and Owen stood up to go chop up some fruit for the little girl. 

Charlie trailed behind Owen as they headed into the kitchen, working in silence as they chopped the fruit up.

“I’m ready.” Owen blurted out. Charlie put down the knife and turned to him, confused. 

“Huh?” He questioned. Owen took a deep breath. 

“Staying with you at Christmas I realised that I’m ready. Ready to give this a shot, and call you my boyfriend, and kiss you whenever I feel like it and not just occasionally with an awkward apology afterwards. I was gonna tell you on New Years Eve but I got interrupted by the countdown, and then I left the next day and I lost the confidence to tell you, so I just didn’t. I didn’t realise it would be a whole month until I saw you again though. And then when I saw you yesterday I thought about telling you, but it felt like the wrong time. And then I tried to tell you last night but Maggie interrupted us and climbed into bed.” Owen paused. “So now I’m telling you, before anyone else can interrupt. I’m ready.” 

“You’re sure?” Charlie checked, and Owen nodded. 

“There is something I want to add but I’m gonna wait until you agree to be my boyfriend.” He said, and Charlie couldn’t stop the large smile that appeared on his face.

“Owen I’ve wanted to be your boyfriend since we were filming.” He replied, and Owen grinned.

“So that’s a yes then?” He asked.

Charlie stepped forward, crashing his lips against Owen’s. After a moment he pulled away, pressing their foreheads together.

“That’s a massive yes.” He whispered and Owen kissed him again, but pulled away just as Charlie tried to deepen the kiss, causing the older boy to whine.

“Before we get too caught up...” Owen trailed off. “I just want this to stay between us for a while, if that’s okay with you.” 

“That’s completely fine.” Charlie agreed, leaning in to kiss Owen once more but Owen pulled back.

“We can tell our families and friends when we’re ready, and I’d rather not tell the fans...” He rambled.

“Owen, I said it’s fine.” Charlie laughed, pulling Owen back in to kiss him again, a gentle peck on his lips. “Although I will warn you, Jeremy and Carolynn kinda already know that I’m in lo- that I liked you, and I’m pretty sure my mum knows too. Oh and Kenny was kinda cryptic in Hawaii, so I think he knows too.”

“My mum and sister know. I kinda had a breakdown one night and exploded the whole thing on them and admitted that I had feelings for you and that you had feelings for me and just told them everything.” Owen admitted. Charlie raised an eyebrow.

“What did they say?” He questioned.

“That they already knew. Luka said it was obvious, and Mum told me that she knew from the minute I met you that I had a crush on you. She said she figured it out after bootcamp. I wish she’d told me, cause I didn’t figure it out til the wrap party for filming.” Owen said, grabbing a bowl and putting the fruit they had already cut into it.

“I figured it out at the aquarium. You know when we spent the whole day holding hands? And my stomach was just constantly in knots. And then that night when you went to bed, you kissed my cheek and it was like it just hit me.” Charlie took the bowl from Owen, and turned to leave the kitchen when Owen spoke again. 

“Wait, are we gonna tell Margaux?” Owen questioned, and Charlie stopped, thinking. 

“I think we should.” He said after a moment, and Owen nodded. 

“Okay.” He agreed. “Let’s do it.” 

-

Trying to figure out how to explain a relationship to a four year old was a difficult thing to do. 

“Hey Mags? We have something to tell you.” Charlie started, once they were settled back into her room, the bowl of fruit in her lap. She looked up. 

“Yeah?” Charlie took a deep breath. 

“Papa and I are dating. Do you know what that means?” He asked. Margaux shook her head. 

“No.” She said, eating a piece of apple quietly, 

“It means Daddy is my boyfriend, and we like each other very much.” Owen tried to explain. 

“Oh, I know that.” Margaux said, and both Owen and Charlie exchanged confused looks. 

“How can you know? It only just happened.” Owen questioned. 

“But you kissed Daddy at the airport.” Margaux frowned.

“Well, yeah... But we weren’t dating then.” Charlie said. Margaux put the apple back into the bowl and grabbed a piece of banana instead. 

“Why?” She asked after a moment. 

“Why what?” Charlie questioned. 

“Why weren’t you?” She elaborated. 

“Um...” Charlie hesitated. “We just hadn’t decided to yet.”

“Okay.” She went silent. “Can I have a boyfriend?”

“Absolutely not.” Charlie said, as Owen cackled with laughter, the serious mood evaporating.

“Why not?” Margaux pouted. “I want a boyfriend too.”

“You’re four!” Charlie exclaimed. Margaux nodded. 

“Yeah! I’m a big girl now.” She stated. Charlie shook his head, trying to ignore Owen’s wheezing laughter beside him. 

“No boyfriends. Or girlfriends.” Charlie said, and Margaux frowned but accepted the answer. A moment later her eyes lit up again as she looked up at Charlie.

“Are you gonna get married like Mamie and Pépère? And Uncle Jer and Aunty Care?” She questioned, and Owen sobered up quickly. 

“Not yet.” He answered, and Charlie stared at him for a few moments, before shaking his head with a smile.

“Maybe one day.” Charlie added. Margaux seemed to like that answer. 

“Okay.” She said, grabbing a chunk of watermelon from the bowl. 

“Margaux you can’t tell anyone that we’re dating, okay? It’s a secret.” Charlie said seriously, and Margaux grinned, her mouth full of fruit. 

“Okay! I’m a good secret keeper.” She mumbled and Charlie smiled. 

“You are.” He agreed. 

“After my fruit can we watch Julie?” She questioned, and both boys smiled in agreement. 

“Of course we can.” Charlie agreed, taking Owen’s hand in his. 

His boyfriend’s hand. 

Charlie was never going to get tired of that. 

-

Jeremy arrived bright and early the next morning, bringing McDonalds breakfast for all of them.

“Uncle Jeremy!” Margaux squealed, jumping down from her spot on a chair at the bench, while Charlie made himself coffee, and rushing over to greet the third phantom. 

“Hey Little Gillespie!” Jeremy replied with just as much excitement, ruffling the four year old’s hair as she clung to his leg. “I missed you.”

“Look how big I got.” Margaux boasted, puffing her chest. 

“So much bigger, I almost didn’t recognise you.” Jeremy agreed, and Margaux giggled to herself.

“Daddy says I can’t have a boyfriend.” She informed Jeremy, who laughed.

“I don’t blame him.” He said, heading into the kitchen to place the food on the bench. 

“But I want a boyfriend.” Margaux whined, trailing after him. 

“Not happening.” Charlie stated, helping her back onto the chair and opening the McDonalds bag. 

“So Little Gillespie, if you did get a boyfriend who would it be?” Jeremy asked, taking food from Charlie to place on the bench. 

“Hmm...” Margaux paused, her eyes lighting up after a moment. “Tay!”

“Tay as in Taylor Kare?” Charlie questioned and Margaux nodded. 

“Yeah!” She giggled. Charlie sighed, dropping his head onto the bench. Jeremy laughed, patting him on the back. 

“Or Papa.” Margaux added, a thoughtful look on her face. 

“You’re gonna have to fight your dad for that one.” Jeremy joked, and Charlie shook his head, smiling, as he handed Margaux a hashbrown.

“Fight her dad for what?” Owen questioned, entering the room.

“To be your boyfriend.” Jeremy informed him as Owen grabbed one of the cups of orange juice.

“Oh, you told him?” Owen asked, and Charlie’s eyes widened.

“No.” He said softly and Owen choked on his juice.

“Fuck.” He muttered under his breath.

“Wait so you’re actually dating now?” Jeremy asked, eyes flicking between the two of them.

“Shh! Not allowed to tell.” Margaux exclaimed. Owen sighed.

“It’s okay Maggie, he knows now.” He told her. Margaux looked up at Charlie eagerly.

“Did I keep the secret good Daddy?” She questioned. Charlie smiled, placing a gentle kiss on her head.

“You did an amazing job baby.” He agreed.

“So, how long?” Jeremy asked, taking a bite of his bacon and egg McMuffin. 

“Yesterday. Although it would have been longer if the stupid New Years countdown didn’t interrupt me telling Charlie that I was ready to give things a shot.” Owen said, picking at the hotcakes he had chosen. 

“Wow, Care and I assumed it would happen a lot earlier than that, after how things were in Hawaii.” Jeremy told them, and Owen shook his head. 

“It was my fault, I wasn’t ready to commit to doing anything that might ruin our friendship. It wasn’t until after Christmas Eve when we fu...” Owen trailed off, realising what he was about to say probably wasn’t appropriate. “We uh, yeah, that I figured we were already too far gone and that I really didn’t want to wait any longer.” 

“And now I know far too much about your s-e-x life.” Jeremy groaned and Margaux squinted at him. 

“What does that spell?” She questioned, and Charlie grabbed another hashbrown for her. 

“Nothing important baby.” He said quickly, handing her the hashbrown and effectively distracting her. 

“Anyways, Jer, you can’t tell anyone. You’re the only one who knows, other than Maggie.” Owen told him seriously and Jeremy nodded. 

“You have my word for it. One condition though.” He said, and Charlie and Owen both raised an eyebrow. 

“Yeah?” 

“Please do not do any gross couple shit around me.” Jeremy sighed. “I do not need to see you two sucking each others faces.” 

“Ew.” Margaux mumbled through a mouthful of hashbrown. Charlie and Owen exchanged a look, clearly thinking the same thing. 

“We’ll try.” Owen started. 

“But we can’t make any promises.” Charlie finished. 

Jeremy groaned slightly, his head falling into his hands as Charlie snaked an arm around Owen’s waist. 

“It’s gonna be a long weekend, isn’t it?”

[bitchassbucky]

.eps (cut)

Word Count: 1.7k

Warning/s: dark!bucky x dark!reader, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, blood mention, gore and dismemberment, murder, toxic/abusive relationship dynamics, sedation/drugging/use of sedative, stockholm syndrome-ish, one very special character reveal

A/N: this version of the epilogue is the 'clean cut' - there's a good chunk of it missing but it's not particularly important to the story. if you want to read the EXPLICIT version, there should be another one uploaded at the same time. (sorry, this is scheduled so i don't have the link yet lol)

follow the CTRL series:

i - .exe

ii - .avi

iii - .raw

iv - .png

v - .zip

CTRL playlist CTRL moodboard

Safeness, comfortability, warmth are all but a false sense of reality.

When a prey takes down its walls, the predator moves in. Camouflaged in familiar colors, in words that you’re used to hearing, in praises, in lies. Most predators use the mask of the night to move in darkness—unyielding and calculated. Come morning, there will be only one left alive, tainted with victory and bloodshed.

You and Bucky have been engaging in a dance for two—a battle of who’s willing to take the leap of faith and unleash hell upon the other.

Stifled smiles and pursed lips.

The air is filled with unsaid irritants, little things that ticked away like bombs.

There was no time for pleading, no time for mercy, no rest for the wicked.

Did you still love each other?

How far are you willing to go to keep up with his… complacency?

Bucky’s mundane life already taking a toll on you. The endless nightmares of him feeling you. The swirling vision of Bucky being with you every waking—and sleeping—moment: it grates your soul to shreds.

“We’ll be together forever, right?”

“Yes, darling.”

“What about the day after forever?”

“That too, honey.”

Where was the man you loved so deeply? The man that broke his morals just to be with you?

Was he under this hull of a Yes Man? A poor little thing that says ‘yes’ to everything like a puppy.

The man you held so dearly now slipping away, chipping his humanity, shedding the once-human.

“Would you marry me tomorrow if I asked you?”

“Of course, baby, why wouldn’t I?”

“Would you kill for me?”

“I’m meant to do the same for you.”

It’s irritating how Bucky gave up too quickly. Too fast, moving too fast. The gazelle let the lion tear its neck as it lay there, unmoving, letting the blood seep into its hide.

When you first met Bucky, it was your own fairytale unfolding before your eyes. Kismet, reality, forgiveness from above. He was soft and shy, passionate, lively.

Far from what you expected from a man his age—you blame Steve for forcing you into his narrative before. That all men are out to get you. They will hurt you. They will use you and leave you for good. But Bucky? Bucky came in like a knight. He saved you from the carcass of your past. He saved you from the sins that you prayed and knelt for.

Bucky taught you how to love.

Bucky taught you how to live for yourself.

Bucky taught you that being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely.

“It was an unspoken little thing, wasn’t it?”

“What thing, baby?”

“Our love.”

“Yes, honey, it was.”

He worships you.

He worships you like a fucking God and you hate it.

Suffocating, too suffocating. You dove straight for the water and now you’re drowning.

Do you still love each other? The question hangs in the air, heavy with its weight, light as a feather.

It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault.

You stand there with a syringe half-filled with a horse sedative. It’s a concern how easy it is to waltz into a pet store and pick up a general anesthetic. You make a mental note to look at it later.

Bucky’s body slumps forward, his forehead meeting the edge of the table with a dull thud. If the overdose doesn’t kill him, the weeping crack in his head will.

Holy fuck, humans bleed a lot. And fast. Good thing you already have that clear tarp taped down. Even with the hush money stuffed down your throat, it would take a good nick to regrout the kitchen.

“What is that for, honey?”

“I’m painting the cabinets.”

“Okay, darling.”

So you let him bleed, surprised that the liquid is redder than what you thought it would be. A soft gurgling noise came from Bucky, the last of air escaping his dead body. You stood there, syringe in hand, as you thought how to dispose of a six-foot-tall man without arousing suspicion.

Not that he’ll be missed anyway: the local news and the internet already branded him as a psycho and you as a victim. You were both victims in this fairytale. They reported his case as “skipped the town like the sicko he is.” So, no—no one’s going to look for him.

The sun was high up in the sky and there was a dead body in your kitchen.

A butcher and a surgeon walk into a bar for a drink. “What do you do for a living?” Said the butcher, “I save lives! What about you?” The doctor answers. “I save animals from dying slowly. We’re basically the same. You’re just very clean.” You see, the butcher comes into the bar covered in blood, reeking of death. The surgeon, on the other hand, wears his white coat with pride even though he’s surrounded by death every passing second.

Today was the day you learned that you have the tools of a butcher and the precision of a surgeon. Unlike before.

You carefully take Bucky’s fingers off of his left hand, leaving a skin flap on the edge of the last knuckle for you to stitch close later. Four promises. Four goddamn promises and he broke all of them.

It was his fault that he’s dead. He made you do this.

Placing the body into the trunk of a rental, you begin your journey to the end of your fairytale. Off to the woods, where you buried your first love. In a town where not everyone who dies leaves.

The drive to and from the place was tiring, to say the least. The internet connection of the diners was spotty at best. Locals were overly friendly with the city folks who came passing through their towns. The roads reek of roadkill and manure from the farm animals that were left to roam for fresh grass.

At least you get to come home in a spotless apartment, alone once again.

But not lonely.

Your space is yours again. No trace of anyone anywhere. Immaculately yours.

—

Humans are social creatures.

No one can truly be alone, especially in today’s world where we’re connected to everyone—whether we liked it or not.

Leaving your wretched job behind was an easy feat to do. No one can say no to the victim of such a vile crime. That’s all they saw you: a helpless little thing. So off you went; saying half-assed goodbyes and sending emails of courage and hope and fucking resilience.

Your resignation meant that the company’s free of any dirt from you, Bucky’s disappearance quickly becoming a joke and a rumor blending in one.

They let you leave: in your bank account a fat check ensuring that you’d shut up about the scandal for months until you can’t feed yourself no more. So you packed your bags and jet off without looking back. You never liked that apartment anyway.

Nevertheless, you found yourself looking into another dead-end job in one of the towns you stopped over before. It’s a charming place like time froze in their plaza while the rest of the world went on. You found a small studio apartment in a street tuckered away from the main avenue, you settled there as days became nights and nights turned into days.

You woke up one morning craving a healthy serving of coffee and pancakes, luckily the town’s local diner wasn’t far from your new home.

The coffee was too hot, the pancakes were amazing, fluffy, and just right. You’re sitting in a sunny booth, the warmth doing its wonders.

“Hi, can I get today’s paper, please?” Your voice is sweet as you call your server, giving her a quick smile.

A pair of Raybans adorn your face, unconsciously hiding behind its darkened glasses. The waitress gives you a thick stack of newspapers, refilling your cup with black coffee.

Upon opening the paper, you ignore the town’s headlines and go straight for the job postings. The door jingled open as patrons come in and go, waving to familiar faces.

Job Vacancy Announcements

Secretary to the Town Sheriff

You skimmed over the rest of the details, only noting the address of the office. The job looks quite lucrative for someone who would only take messages and organize files for the sheriff.

Looking over the job posting again, you read over the words walk-ins only. That shouldn’t be hard enough.

The diner looked deserted save from the man sitting behind your booth. Leaning over and tapping his shoulder, you put on a polite smile, “Hi, sorry, do you know how to get to the sheriff’s office from here?”

“Hello, darling.” The man croons in an accent, he looks over to you, “join me in my booth, will ‘ya?”

You’re in no position to reject his proposal, you’re the one who needed an answer.

Taking your coffee cup, you slide into his booth, “hi.”

“Just the face I wanted to see.” Clean-shaven, a hint of mint and smoke, and something woody; a worn leather jacket and white button-up shirt hugging his soft frame. “Some folks over on the apartment complex were talkin’ about a city girl wanting to rent a studio all by herself. That happen to be you?”

You look over to him, trying to understand how that small of news spread like a wildfire, “yeah. I moved in a week ago.”

He leans over, smiling sweetly as he unabashedly lets his eyes roam your features, “What’s a city girl like you doin’ in a place like this? I hope we ain’t too boring for you, gal.”

Chatty—he’s way too chatty.

“Just wanted a change of pace, really. Away from the bustle of the city.” You rustle the paper, clearing your throat to get back on the matter on hand, “so the sheriff’s office? Is it too far from here?”

“What business are ‘ya bringing into the office?”

“A job, actually. Says here that they’re looking for a secretary.” You might as well tell him everything, he seems too chatty to be dismissed over and over again.

“Well, darlin’, today’s your lucky day. No need to drive down the old road.” He reaches down to his seat, pulling up a brown hat, “Hi, I’m Sheriff Bodecker. Now, to whom do I owe the pleasure?”

You bite back a giggle, you’ve always wanted to be involved with the law.

[taehyungs-perm]

strawberry girl pt 4

taehyung x reader; college au; childhood best friends to lovers au; jock!fratboy taehyung

genre: fluff; major angst lol

word count: 11k

summary: i can pretend i don’t miss you. i can pretend i dont care. all i want to do is kiss you. what a shame you’re not here.

Part 1 here ; Part 2 here; part 3 here; part 5

playlist vibes

i like me better | lauv 

get you | daniel caesar 

japanese denim | daniel caesar 

lovers | anna of the north

comfort crowd | conan gray

idontwannabeyouanymore | billie eilish 

It was probably not ideal to start your morning by sobbing in the lap of your best friend, but it be like that sometimes.

Hana was softly combing the little strands of hair out of your face, “_________, it’s okay. Why are you so upset about this?”

You rolled over so you could see Hana, brushing the hair out of your face, “Because Hana, I told you what happened last time. I fell for him and it hurt me so much. I was trying so hard to avoid this.”

She looked at you with a serious look in her eyes, “__________ you can't choose what feelings you feel. But you can choose how you act. You have to tell people how you feel when you feel it. You missed that chance two years ago but you have it again now. This is a good thing. Tell Taehyung how you feel.”

You sat upright, looking at her seriously, “Hana, it’s not that simple. He probably doesn’t like me back. And if I confess and he says he doesn’t like me like that, then what? I’ve ruined our friendship over something that doesn’t even matter.”

“It does matter! Your feelings do matter. And that won’t happen. I’ve seen the way he looks at you when you aren’t paying attention. He definitely likes you. Stop over thinking.”

“I’m not overthinking. If anything, I’m not thinking enough. I just should keep my mouth shut and hope this goes away.”

Hana shook her head, “What the fuck will that do? You’ll just sadly pine over him from a distance while he continues to fuck the rest of campus. Will that make you happy? Seeing him do that?”

“Hana, if Taehyung and I were meant to be, we would have been by now. But we aren’t. We are two different people and he just doesn’t see me like that.”

“And I’m telling you that he does! Even Jungkook has noticed the way Taehyung acts around you. It’s obvious to everyone but you.”

“It was just like this last time too, Hana. I thought he was so into me, but he wasn’t. He was into some other girl the whole time. It made me feel like a piece of shit. Like I was worthless and that I created this romance all in my head. I’m sick of waiting for love and I realized my life isn't anything special.”

She put her hands on your shoulders, “You have to start romanticizing your life. You have to start taking risks and do things for yourself. If you keep being afraid of what could happen, life will continue to pass you by and all the little things that make it so beautiful will continue to go unnoticed. You can’t keep wallowing in self pity. You need to do something about your life and for once not let it fuck you over. This isn’t just about Taehyung. This about how you live your life. I know you better than you think __________.You have to start thinking of yourself as the main character. You need to change your mentality of thinking you’re worthless and not enough.” 

You sighed deeply, knowing everything she’s saying is so true, “I know it okay. I know it’s the fucking capitalist misogynistic society that cultivates these ideas of insecurity and women and profits off of it to create an endless cycle of ‘I don’t feel enough’. And I want to get to that point where I can feel like I’m enough on my own. But it’s hard.”

Hana pulled you into a hug, “________ I know it’s hard. I just don’t want all of your fears and insecurities to stop you from achieving your dreams and going after things you want.”

You pulled away from her, “Do you really think I should tell him?”

She nodded excitedly, “I really, really do. Tonight is the perfect chance.”

You let out a deep sigh, releasing all the pent up tension in your body, “Okay. Tonight.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and Hana made your way through the somehow already crowded lodge.

“God, Jungkook is such an idiot. I told him not to invite too many people because he only has one house, but guess what?” Hana said huffing as she firmly gripped her duffle.

“What?” You were following closely behind her so as to not get stuck in the crowd. 

“He somehow got permission to use his neighbor’s lodge too. As long as everything is exactly how it was. Which there’s no fucking way that’ll happen.”

You nodded in agreement. There were already too many fucking people here. But to be fair, you and Hana did arrive late. Most people arrived in the early afternoon to go skiing and tubing. You and Hana decided to catch up on homework and studying and arrived in the early evening instead. Hana ensured that both of you dressed in cute outfits because she really wanted to take photos for her Instagram. 

Hana was wearing an emerald green satin tank top with black skinny jeans with black strappy heels.

You rarely wore dresses because the lack of practicality with no pockets infuriated you but Hana somehow convinced you to buy the maxi length black floral dress you were wearing. It had thin straps so you paired the dress with a black long sleeve shirt and white sneakers.

She dragged you upstairs. “Jungkook gave us this room,” Hana said, taking you down the hall. 

“Us?” You asked snarkily. 

“Okay, in theory I’m supposed to stay in this room with you.” 

“But?”

“But...I’ll stay with Jungkook and Jungkook’s roommate will stay here.”

You already knew where this was going and you felt your anxiety growing. You rubbed your temples, “Don’t tell me..”

“Taehyung said he’s perfectly okay with it so...”, she said through a large grin.

“Hana, I told you. I just-”

“And I told you! He likes you too! This is your chance. Your opportunity!! You two are so cute together. You just need to talk to him about your feelings,” she said pushing you into the room. Thankfully, there were two beds. You felt like you couldn’t handle another night next to Taehyung. You might literally have a heart attack, feeling his body that close to yours again. 

“I don’t know Hana. I don’t know if tonight is the right time,” you said, setting your duffle bag on your bed. 

You were about to continue before you heard a knock on the door. At the doorway was Taehyung and Jungkook, the causes of your incoming migraine.

Jungkook walked over to Hana and enveloped her in a big hug. “I missed you, love,” he said as he kissed her forehead.

“Miss you too,” Hana mumbled from his embrace.

Your heart yearned with longing at this interaction. How you so badly you wanted someone to love you. How so badly you wanted Taehyung to love you back. You then remembered that he was in fact standing right in front of you.

You smiled awkwardly at him. His fluffy curly hair was covering his eyes a bit. He was dressed in a somewhat sheer black floral shirt tucked into black skinny jeans. He looked like a model. He waved recognizing that you were a bit uncomfortable.

Jungkook, still with Hana in his embrace, left the room, saying something about how she needed to see the beer pong table in the basement.

“Hey,” Taehyung said casually, leaning against the door entrance.

You felt your heart beating fast. God, did he always make you this uneasy?

“Hi,” you squeaked. Oh my god. Why are you acting like this? Can't you just be chill?

He laughed, “Are you okay?”

Be chill. Act normal. “I’m fine. Just tired. I was at the library since you left this morning.” You were trying to distract yourself as you started unpacking some things from your duffle. He walked over and sat on your bed next to your duffle.

“Hmm. Seems like we’ll be spending another night together,” he said, grinning wickedly. 

Your cheeks reddened at his words. You cleared your throat, ”Well, you’ll be sleeping in your own bed. So not really.” You continued to take out items from your bag, so you didn’t have to make eye contact with him. 

He angled his face in front of your bag so you had to look at his doe eyes, “Oh really. It’s just that after last night, I don’t know if I can sleep without you next to me again. By the way, I usually sleep shirtless.”

You immediately felt your face flush and the textbook that you were holding (you brought it just in case you got bored) slipped from your hands, thudding loudly on the wooden floor. 

He gave you an infuriating smile as he leaned down and picked up your textbook. 

“Sure everything is fine?” He said handing you the book.

“I’m perfectly fine! We should go downstairs,” you said hastily as you set the book on the bed.

“Okay, let’s go,” he said standing up.

“Wait lemme fix my hair,” you said glancing in a mirror. It looked like you just woke up. Which to be fair, you kinda did sleep the entire way to the lodge.

You undid your braid and pulled it into a ponytail. You turned to him and he frowned. 

“What?” You said, feeling self conscious.

He walked over to you and pulled the hair tie out of your hair, “I like it when your hair is down.” He secured your dark pink scrunchie around his wrist. 

Your heart fluttered. Wait, did that mean he didn’t like when your hair was styled in other ways?

He pulled your hand and gave you that contagious smile, “I know what you’re thinking. I do think you look good in different hair styles. I like it when you wear braids or ponytails. But you rarely wear your hair down. I want you to know that I like that too.”

You looked down at the wooden flooring, trying to hide your smile, “Fuck off. I could care less what you think.”

“Ayy, there’s my girl. Now c’mon you look pretty let’s go!” Taehyung said, leading you down the stairs.

It seemed like time had no concept here as everyone was drinking and dancing as if it were midnight. Taehyung led you to the basement where there were somehow even more people. The colored lights were flashing and the music was blaring.

You found your friends sitting on the couches towards the back. Hana was sitting on Jungkook's lap next to Yoongi and Hobi. Even though you technically came with him, Taehyung’s presence was making you overly jittery so you opted to sit in the free seat next to Jimin. He gave you a cheerful smile and you tried not to look at Taehyung as he sat opposite of you two. Hana glared at you in frustration when she saw your seat choice. You responded by flipping her off and turned to talk to Jimin.

Your conversation with Jimin was cut off by Jungkook exclaiming, “Okay, let’s play truth or dare.”

Hana scoffed, “Are you kidding Jungkook? That game is for children.”

“Not the way we play it,” he said, raising his eyebrows.

You immediately shook your head, “I’ll sit this out.”

Jimin whined at you, “Cmon ________ you have to play.”

You shook your head, laughing, “In your fucking dreams.”

Jimin stroked his chin with his hand, thinking hard, “You have to play otherwise...”

Hana chimed in, “Otherwise I’ll hide your textbooks.”

You narrowed your eyes at her, “You wouldn’t dare.”  

“Try me bitch” Hana said with a smirk. 

You sighed, giving up because you knew she actually would do it, “Fine but if it starts getting fucking weird I’m leaving.”

The dares got weird pretty fast. 

Jin was dared to lick whipped cream off of Yoongi's leg. Hobi and Namjoon were dared to go skinny dipping in the pool. Taehyung had to sit on Namjoon’s lap for the rest of the round. Jungkook revealed almost too many truths about himself, talking about his fantasy threesomes and his kinks. Hana was dared to do body shots off of Jungkook (she seemed a little too excited for that). Jimin was dared to remove his shirt for the rest of the game.

Luckily you had only been asked two times and chosen truth both times. Namjoon and Hobi were nice enough to ask questions that weren’t too exposing. However, things started going downhill once it was Hana’s turn again. You swore you saw her eyes glitter with mischievousness. 

“_________, You already used up your two truths, right?”

Fuck, you forgot about the two truths only rule. 

Jimin piped up, “Yep! She did.”

God, fuck Park Jimin for being such a boy scout. You nodded weakly. Your heart started to pound. You knew she was going to say something stupid. You uneasily glanced over at Taehyung. He had been suspiciously quiet to you all night, but you also were actively avoiding him. 

Hana cleared her throat, making sure to get everyone’s attention, “Okay so _________ I dare you,” she smiled widely and you knew you were fucked, “I dare you to make out with Taehyung.”

Your mouth gaped open. She didn’t. You looked at Taehyung and his face was almost as shocked as yours. 

You chuckled nervously, side eyeing Taehyung, “No, no.” 

Taehyung spoke softly, “Nah she doesn’t have to if she doesn’t want to.”

Jungkook laughed loudly, clearly having a great time at the expense of your misery, “It’s the rules. She has to. Other people had to do way worse tonight.”

You felt your face heating up and your heart was beating faster with anxiety. 

Jimin was trying to help the situation, “How about they go in the guest room so it won’t be as awkward.”

Hana pondered this for a moment, “You have to send a picture then. We need evidence that you guys actually kissed.”

You tried protesting but Jimin physically pulled you off the couch while Hobi did the same to Taehyung.

“Guys, guys, how about you give me another dare? I promise I’ll do that one. Just give me a pass,” you pleaded as Jimin dragged you to the guest room.

Your pleas went unheard as Jimin and Hobi pushed you and Taehyung into the guest room with the rest of your friends following behind. Once Jungkook slammed the door close, you tried pressing against the door but it wouldn’t budge. You sighed and dropped to the ground. 

“C'mon guys just let us out,” Ttaehyung tried to say in a serious voice, leaning against the door. 

“Kiss and then we will let you out,” Jungkook shouted through the door. 

Taehyung ran his hands through his hair and sat next to you, “We can just wait it out. They’ll let us out eventually.”

You nodded and buried your face in your hands. Then you heard chanting outside the room “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” 

Oh my god, I’m going to literally murder Hana. I am not going to do this right now.

He leaned next to you and whispered quietly, “I know you don’t wanna do this so let’s just sit here and wait. It’s okay, don’t let what they are saying get to you.”

You looked at him and felt your heart swell. God, you were so in love with him. 

The best you could hope for was that they get tired and give up. However, It had been like 10 minutes and the chants were still going strong 

You looked at him, desperate, “What the fuck do we do?”

He chuckled nervously, “Um...we could kiss?”

You looked at him. You could but this isn’t what you wanted. You wanted him to want you because he liked you, not because of some game.

You felt your anxiety come to a point where it was overwhelming and you weren’t thinking properly so you said rather forcefully, “No!”

His puppy dog eyes lost its spark. He dropped his head, “Oh.. ok. I know you think I’m really annoying or whatever but I didn’t think you hated me.” He sounded hurt. 

You groaned, shutting your eyes in frustration, “Ugh it’s not like that.” God, he was totally misinterpreting the whole situation.

Taehyung looked at you, clearly confused, “Then what is it like? Cause it seems like you’re so repulsed by the idea of kissing me.”

Then without thinking, you frustratingly yelled, “Oh my god, I just don’t want it to happen like this!”

Your eyes widened in realization of what you said. 

You began to stumble out your words, “I mean like I just think it’s weird because we are so platonic and like it’s weird and I think we can forget everything I just said.” 

Your words were becoming a train wreck and you couldn’t watch the disastrous scene unfolding in front of you.

He stared at you, wide eyed. He leaned his head against the wall, completely silent.

Oh my god, I need to fucking get out. You looked around the room and saw a small window at the top of the opposite wall, next to the bed. Bingo.

You glanced over at Taehyung. He was on his phone, texting. He probably thinks I’m a fucking psycho. 

You tightened the laces on your shoes and walked over to the dresser next to the bed. You climbed on top of the dresser and then you pushed on the window hard. It creaked open 

You heard Taehyung's voice behind you, “_________, what the fuck are you doing?” 

“I just need some fresh air you know. I just need to do this really fast.” You pushed the window fully open and you felt the cool air of the night press against your face

You were able to reach your arms through the window and once you got a good grip on the grass, you began to hoist yourself up.

“_________! What are you doing?” You couldn’t look back at Taehyung, but he sounded very confused and shocked.

“Um I just really need to go. I'm feeling so claustrophobic,” you struggled the words out as you pushed yourself through the window. Once one of your legs made it through, you began crawling out the window, “Ow! Why are there so many fucking rocks?”

You hadn’t realized that while you were struggling to crawl out the window, Taehyung had shouted to your friends on the other side of the door about your antics. 

You heard voices fill up the room and Hana’s voice yell, “_________ get the fuck down here! You could get hurt! What are you doing?”

Great, this is exactly how I wanted the night to go. But it was too late, you were already more than halfway out.

“It’s fine.” You shouted back, “I’m okay!” 

You exclaimed a cheer of victory once you were able to make it through the fucking window. You stood up and looked down at your clothes. Your dress was caked in mud. This is so great. Your life was a fucking mess. 

You looked around and realized you were by the pool. You desperately hoped none of your friends would come up looking for you. You dusted off the dirt from your dress and walked around the pool. You walked into the kitchen and breathed out a sigh of relief when you didn’t recognize anyone there. Then you heard Taehyung’s familiar voice and immediately ducked behind the kitchen island.

You glanced up and sighed when you saw him with Jennie. She was smiling and had her arm wrapped around his neck. He was keeping his distance with him trying to pull her arm away from her. You didn’t wanna stick around any longer because you were worried you would see something that would upset you. You made your way back to your room upstairs. 

Obviously seeing Taehyung with Jennie hurt you, but what could you do? They had history, real history and you were simply Taehyung's friend. How could someone like you ever complete with someone like Jennie? You loved Taehyung but how could that even compare what Jennie could offer him. He said to you that he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend, just sex and Jennie was giving him exactly that. It was so fucking stupid of you to think you could confess to him.

Once you got to your room, you changed into black sweatpants and a simple gray tee shirt. You grabbed a towel and headed to the empty hot tub in the back of the house. 

Finally a spot where there’s no one and where no one will find me.

You rolled up your pants and soaked your legs in the hot water. You pulled out your phone and started reading the new book you started this week, Malcom X’s autobiography.

It felt really relaxing and peaceful to simply be by yourself for a while. Being social situations always drained you out a lot. You became so absorbed in your reading that you didn’t notice Taehyung walking up to the hot tub. 

“Hey strawberry girl,” he said right into your ear.

You got startled by his closeness, almost dropping your phone, “Oh my god, you’re so annoying.”

“So...what happened? Why the fuck did you crawl out of a window?” He asked, concerned 

The million fucking dollar question. Time to play it off chill. “I dunno. It just got kinda overwhelming. I told you I was getting claustrophobic.”

You obviously couldn’t tell him you were so fucking afraid of your feelings toward him and how you couldn’t possibly kiss him (game or not) because he most likely doesn’t like you back.

Luckily, he didn’t press further “Yea, it’s actually really nice and quiet out here. Can I sit with you here?”

You nodded and he sat next to you, not dipping his feet in the water.

“I’m so fucking sore from all the practices and games this week,” Taehyung said, stretching his shoulder.

“You should get in the hot tub. It'll relax and soothe your muscles,” you said still reading on your phone, not looking up at him.

He stood up, “That’s a good idea.” 

You assumed he would agree and then go and grab his swim trunks. Except Taehyung didn’t do that.

You heard a light clanking noise and looked up at him. He was taking off his belt and unzipping his pants right in front of you. You felt your entire face redden, mortified at what he was doing, “Taehyung. what are you doing?” You said averting your gaze.

“I’m getting in the hot tub?”

“Go and get your swim shorts!”

“Nah, fuck that. Don’t worry _________, I’m not going in nude.”

Thank god. You don’t know what you would’ve done if he decided to do that.

You peeked at him from the corner of your eyes. He was wearing blue boxers and he was unbuttoning his floral shirt. He luckily was wearing a black short sleeve shirt underneath. He had really nice calves, tanned and well defined. 

Taehyung stepped into the hot tub and let out a deep moan. Your face reddened at the sound. 

Then, your eyes met. Then, all while giving you a deep stare, Taehyung reached behind his neck to pull his shirt off. You felt your face flush even further. He has to know what he’s doing to me. He has to know that he’s riling me up with all of these moves. 

You gulped at the sight of his prominent collar bones and honey colored skin. You tore your eyes away from him and tried to concentrate on your book. 

It didn’t work because Taehyung's suspiciously quiet presence unnerved you. 

You set your phone done and raised your eyebrows at him, “What?”

“What? I haven’t said anything”

“Exactly. You’re being quiet. Which is weird.”

“You said you liked how peaceful it was out here. So I wanted to let you enjoy it.”

“Whatever. It’s weird when you're quiet,” you sloshed your legs in the water.

“_________?” Taehyung wasn’t looking at you anymore, he was staring at the water. 

“Yea,”

“Why haven’t you had a boyfriend?”

Ouch. 

“Why are you asking me that?” you said a bit hurt.

“I didn’t mean it to come off as mean. I’m just curious. Because, I don’t know, you say you want love. But did you go after it?”

“Why are you thinking of that?”

“Well, cause I dunno. I never thought about love. Or getting a girlfriend. But on the way here Namjoon hyung and Jungkook were just talking about how great it is. Being in love and having someone to love. And someone loving you back. And Jin hyung said he has met someone as well but he’s keeping it lowkey. And then you talked about how you want love too. That’s why you’ve waited. I know you've had crushes. But I don’t know why you haven’t gone for it yet. Or why you haven’t had a boyfriend yet.”

You stared at your feet in the water. He wasn’t trying to be mean. He just wanted to know about your life. You felt like you should be more honest with taehyung. He was always so genuine with you.

“I don’t know Taehyung. There’s so many reasons.”

“What are they?”

You gave a cold laugh, “No one has ever liked me like that. So there’s that. Then I’m scared. I’m scared of opening up to someone and they leave me. I talk a lot of shit I guess for someone who has never been in a relationship. I want love but I guess I realized love doesn’t come without heartbreak. So that’s what scares me. But I guess it’s fun to romanticize something that’ll never happen for me.”

“What are you talking about? Are you saying you’ll never fall in love?”

“I’m saying no one will ever love me like that. So I can say whatever I want about wanting love and a boyfriend. Because that won’t happen.”

He looked at you, astonished, “________ what the fuck? Are you being for real?”

You exhaled deeply. You knew he wouldn’t get it. Taehyung has never been in your situation. He’s always been wanted, adored, loved. You’ve never experienced anything like that.

“Yes Tae. I’m being serious. I’m not really looking for sympathy or anything because I’ve accepted it but I know guys don’t really like me. I know why, but I’m not going to change myself for a guy. It’s just the facts are there, Taehyung. I’m almost twenty and no guy has ever been interested in me. So it’s just whatever now. It’s kinda blessing though. I can just focus on school and not get distracted or sidetracked by any guy.”

He scooched over time where your legs were dangling. He held your hand that was planted firmly against the concrete. 

“________ please don’t think like that. You deserve love. Stop saying that you don’t. And you will find it. I promise you. I don’t know why you think guys don’t like you but I swear, you are literally perfect the way you are and I’m so glad you didn’t change for anyone. Your strawberry boy is out there. And he’s probably the most perfect guy to exist.”

You felt tears welling up in your eyes. Your strawberry boy did exist. And he was the one holding your hand. You didn’t want anyone else. You wanted him. You wanted Kim Taehyung.

You reflexively made a joke, just to move away from the fact that you were about to cry over his words, “I guess. You’ll have to beat his ass if he doesn’t like strawberries tho”

Taehyung laughed, “Don’t worry. I’m always here to beat anyone’s ass for you.” 

He rested his back against the edge and looked up into the night sky. 

“So... are you into Jennie? Is that why you’re thinking about love and girlfriends?” you asked cautiously. You honestly had no idea why you asked this question. You didn’t even want to know the answer. 

“Haha no. It’s just...I dunno I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I’ve always said I didn’t want a girlfriend but I don’t even know why I’ve had that mentality. But now.. I think I want that.”

“Want what?”

“That closeness, that dependability, that love”

“Then what’s stopping you?”

“The right girl I guess.” 

You winced at those words. Were you not the right girl? 

Trying to distract yourself, you pressed further, “I mean you dated Yeji did that not count?”

“No, it counted. But our relationship was definitely highschool. It wasn’t....deep I guess. The way Jungkook talks about Hana...I know I never felt that in my relationship with Yeji.”

“I’m sure you can find a girl who makes you feel like that.” You hadn’t meant for that to come out as sneakily as it did.

He chuckled, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well...you’re literally the most adored boy on campus. And Jennie really wants to date you. So it’s not like you don’t have options,” you said truthfully.

“Yea, but none of that matters,” he said, sighing. 

You gave him a quizzical look.

He continued, “If I’m going to date a girl, I want to be friends with her first. I want to fall for her. And then I want to date her. I don’t want to be unsure of my feelings for her.”

Friends first? We’re friends. Could this...no. Taehyung and I have been friends for so long. If he had caught feelings, he would’ve said so by now.

You kicked your legs in the water, sad because it just seemed this talk with Taehyung just showed you to your face that he didn’t like you. 

You spoke softly, “That’s a good idea. No point in wasting anyone’s time.”

“Exactly.” He stretched his arms out, “Aren’t you going to get in the water?”

You shook your head no

“C’mon, get in. It feels so good.”

You continued to shake your head, “I didn’t bring swim clothes.”

“I’m not in wwim clothes,” he said, looking down at himself.

“If you think that I’m going to go in the hot tub in my underwear, you’re fucking insane,” you said cackling. There was actually no fucking way in hell you would ever do that even if it was your own hot tub, much less with Kim Taehyung right in front of you.

“Okay, just come in with your clothes on.”

“Tae I literally didn’t bring clothes for this. These are the only pajamas I have.”

He pulled your arm and your legs slipped into the water, your pants getting soaked.

“Taehyung!” You exclaimed, shocked at what he just did.

“I have clothes here, you can wear mine. Now please, relax for a goddamn second” he said, laughing.

You narrowed your eyes at him and flipped him off, “I can’t believe you did that.”

He was still laughing and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

You eased your back against the wall of the hot tub, your shoulder touching Taehyung. You didn’t know if your body was heating up because of the water or because of how close Taehyung was.

He perked up, his eyes dancing with excitement, “Guess what?”

“What?” You couldn’t help but feel endeared at his cuteness.

“I finished the second season of Avatar!”

“For real? Oh my god. Wasn’t the ending insane?”

“Bro it was fucking insane. I can’t believe Zuko sided with Azula. And I can’t believe she shot lightning at Aang! That was crazy,” He ranted ecstatically.

You and Taehyung had given each other anime recommendations since you both were looking for new ones to watch.

He rambled on, “I don’t get why you’re in love with Zuko. Like he literally betrayed his uncle, the one dude who was on his side. Maybe for a minute when they were in Ba Sing Se when he was a cute tea shop boy, I understood, but now?”

“Patience Taehyung. You’ll understand soon enough. He’s just lost and confused okay? He just needs someone on his team.”

“Ugh whatever I guess. I’m still not convinced.”

You shook your head, he would understand once he finished the show.

Then you remembered his recommendation, “I’m almost done with the first season of My Hero Academia.”

“Bet. Isn’t it good? Who’s your favorite character?”

“It is good. I like seeing Class 1A interact with each other. They are all so angsty teens, it’s so funny. Umm it would be a tie between Todoroki and Bakugou.”

He looked shocked, “Bakugou? You like him?”

“Yes okay! I believe in him. He just is confused. I'm rooting for him. I think he’s a sweet boy.”

Taehyung shook his head disappointed, “Do you just like all the broken boy characters?”

You opened your mouth to retort something back but couldn’t come up with anything. He was right, you really did love the broken boy arc. It was just the fact that you desperately wanted to help them and show them the love they deserved. Your eyes caught Taehyung and you couldn’t help but feel the same way. You wanted to be the girl that gave him those feelings of real love, to be a real girlfriend to him.

You and Taehyung continued to talk for a while until you realized you two were probably in the hot tub for way too long. 

Wrapped in your towels, you and Taehyung trudged upstairs, shivering from the cold.

Taehyung dropped you off to your room and mentioned that he would be back with clothes. You sat on your bed, buzzing with a warm feeling. Even though the voice at the back of your head was doubting every moment, telling you that Taehyung doesn’t like you like that, you couldn’t help but hold a feeling of hopefulness. He was here, with you right? Didn’t that count for something? 

He came back, dressed in shorts and a black t-shirt, clutching clothes for you. 

You took it from his hand and went to the bathroom to change. You smiled when you saw he brought your favorite sweater of his, the soft gray one, for you to wear. His pants were obviously way too large but you managed to fold up the pant legs so you weren’t drowning in his clothing.

Taehyung was laying on your bed, stretched out scrolling through his phone. He sat up when he heard the bathroom door open and grinned, “You look so cute wearing my clothes.” 

“Shut up,” you said trying to hide your smile.

You walked around the room and noticed the glass double doors between the beds opened. You pushed open the doors and the coldness of the night sent shivers up your spine. You walked over to the edge and rested your elbows on the railing.

The back of your mind was still spinning with Hana’s voice, “Just tell him how you feel!” But you couldn’t do that. There was just too much you were risking: your friendship with Taehyung, your heart.

You tried to calm your waves of nausea and anxiety by taking deep breaths. Was this even worth it? You looked up at the night sky and saw the moon above your head. You sighed, your gaze fixating on a dim star by the bright moon. It actually was quite a beautiful night. It was quiet, a comfortable temperature warm with a light breeze, and the stars amplified the moon's beauty. 

You heard Taehyung's voice behind you, “Damn jungkook really gave us the best room.”

You turned your head and saw Taehyung's boxy smile leaning against the railing right next to you. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw him. You immediately turned your head back to the star.

“Maybe he felt bad for making Hana ditch me,” you smirked.

He gave you a teasing smile, “C’mon ________ you didn’t want another night with the most handsome guy on campus?”

“And you wonder why I don’t shower you in compliments like everyone else on this fucking planet,” you said shaking your head.

“It’s ok. I don’t need the verbal confirmation from you. I know what you think of me.”

You glanced over at him, “And what’s that?”

“Even though you find me annoying, you also undeniably find me endearing. And you also think I’m hot.”

Your jaw dropped in shock at his words, “You’re so fucking full of it.”

He leaned in and brushed away the strand of hair covering your eyes, “Deny all you want but I know it. I can see it in your eyes.”

“My eyes?” you said, scoffing at his ridiculousness.

“Yep, your eyes give away everything.”

“Oh really? What else do they give away?” You said playing along with his game.

“They give away that you definitely don’t know how beautiful you look right now.”

You rolled your eyes. He exclaimed, “See! Right there. You don’t know that. I got that fr-“

You interrupted, chuckling lightly, “From my eyes, right? You’re so full of shit. I bet you use that line on all of the other girls.” 

“What other girls?” he said innocently.

Taehyung was definitely something, creating his own understanding of you, pinpointing things you didn’t even notice about yourself. He looked at you, his big puppy dog eyes glittering in the moonlight, his fluffy curly hair ruffled by the soft breeze of the night. Everything about him made your heart ache with want. 

He cleared his throat, grabbing your attention, “_________ why did you climb out the window? You weren’t getting claustrophobic in a bedroom.”

Oh, so he didn’t believe your answer. You tried to answer as calmly as possible, trying to not let your nerves show, “Um..I just didn’t wanna play the game anymore.”

“What did you mean by when you said ‘I don’t want it to happen like this?’ ”

Oh fuck he didn’t forget you said that. You dropped your head, desperately not wanting to make eye contact with him, “Huh? I don’t remember saying that.”

“Well, when I asked why you didn’t want to kiss me you said that.”

“I think you misheard. I said ‘nope not this’ ”

He said in complete disbelief, “I misheard? With you standing right in front of me?”

“Yep. It’s okay. You should go see a doctor about it though.” You quickly tried to divert his attention, “The stars are really beautiful tonight.”

Luckily, he seemed to understand that you were obviously not answering his questions.

“Guess which star is my favorite?” his head tilting in the direction of the night sky. 

You laughed, “I don’t know. There’s so many out there.”

“Just guess. I have one that’s my favorite.”

“I don’t know. I guess that one” you said pointing to the brightest star in the sky. It was quite far from the moon. 

“Nope. Try again”

“Taehyung, I’m never going to guess it. I give up, just tell me.” 

“That one.” He said pointing in an area near the moon. 

You tried pointing it out with your own finger, “That one?”

He leaned over and placed his hand over yours and guided it in the right direction. He looked at the star for a second and then looked at you “That one.”

You were fixated on the star and when he pulled your hand in the right direction, you realized he was talking about the star you had been staring at the whole night. You turned your head to exclaim to him the coincidence and you found his head only inches away from yours. 

The words got stuck in your throat. His jet black eyes were staring into your soul. 

“That star is my favorite because it’s the most beautiful. It might not be the flashiest star out there and it’s trying to be hidden in the brightness of the moonlight but I see it. And I think it’s the most beautiful star in the entire night sky. “

You realized you had been staring into his eyes for too long. He took both your hands that you hadn’t realized were trembling and enveloped them in his. 

You were panicking. Your heart was beating insanely fast . Your palms felt sweaty. You tried to back away from Taehyung, pulling your hands away. You took a couple small steps back.

He doesn’t like me. He doesn’t want me. Why would he ever kiss me? I’m not even half as pretty as Jennie. You needed to get yourself out of this situation before you get your hopes up and it fucked you over completely.

Your thoughts were interrupted by your arm being tugged back in his direction. You spun into Taehyung's arms and he caught you in his embrace.

His hands were placed firmly on your waist and your arms were wrapped around his neck. You never realized how tall he was. You were on your tippy toes and you still had to crane your neck slightly to clearly see his face. Tilting downwards, his face was centimeters from yours. His eyes were sparkling with a mischievous glint and he was smiling.

It felt like your whole heart was going to explode. 

What the fuck? Why did he do that?  Is he not completely revolted by me? 

You were attempting to speak the thoughts running through your mind but your brain had completely stopped functioning the second you got a whiff of his cologne. Your mouth was just slightly open trying to breathe because you truly were so confused as to what was happening. 

“Can I kiss you?” he whispered. 

The only thing you could manage was a small, shy nod. 

Then his soft lips molded against yours. You closed your eyes as you felt your brain short circuit. The way his lips pressed against yours for the first time didn’t feel like electricity struck you. Instead, it felt comforting. It felt like home: his embrace, his lips, his hands on you. Like this was always meant to be. He tasted like strawberry chapstick and spearmint His right hand crept up to the side of your face

and cupped your cheek. Your breath hitched. Taehyung tilted his head at an angle to open your mouth further.

You took this opportunity to push away for a second and breathe. “Taehyung,” you breathed out.

“Shut the fuck up,” he pulled you back into a needy kiss. His plushy lips sucked on your bottom lip and you moaned for a second. Your cheeks reddened at the sound you made. 

“That was so fucking hot,” he said in a shaky whisper. Your hands shift from his neck into his curls, balancing on your toes. You tugged on his curls, pulling his head closer to yours, something you’ve daydreamed about.  He cupped your face and brought you even closer to him. the kisses became deeper, more fervent. As if he couldn’t get enough of you. 

Your mouth opened in response. He took this opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth. His tongue gilded against yours.  It was better than you ever imagined, better than you hoped, the feel of him; it was making you lose your fucking mind. 

One of Taehyung's hands remained at your waist and the other moved to the small of your back, pushing the front of your chest onto his. 

It seemed like time had stopped. Once you realized you were completely breathless, you pulled away. You were breathing very hard, your heart hammering, and your mind completely numb. He placed two more soft, sweet kisses on your lips. His pupils were completely blown out and his hair was a fluffy mess.

He breathed out, shakily “This is what you meant right?”

Before you could say anything, you heard a knock on the glass door.

“Hey, Taehyung, we need you downstairs.” Jungkook’s head poked out the door. 

Tae’s eyes looked apologetic when he looked at you. 

“I’ll be there in a sec,” he called to Jungkook

You were still kinda breathless. His hands were pressing into your hips as if he didn’t want to let go.

He leaned in and kissed your cheek softly. He whispered in your ear, and you felt a shiver trace down your spine, “I’ll see you soon.”

You nodded and he nuzzled your neck for a second, his lips barely grazing the mole on your neck. 

He slowly let go of your hips, his hands skimming your elbows and then your hands.

You watched him leave as your legs wobbled beneath you. You stood there, in complete shock as to what happened. Your whole body was buzzing, your arms covered in goosebumps, chills from what just happened. 

A cold burst of wind finally snapped you out of whatever trance Taehyung put you in. You softly closed the glass doors behind you as you re-entered your room. You laid down in your bed with a stupid grin that you couldn’t get rid of. You curled up into a ball and relaxed against the pillows. For the first time in a long time, you fell asleep with no thoughts of insecurity or worry plaguing your mind.  

You slowly opened your eyes and felt a familiar weight on you. You carefully looked behind you and saw once again Taehyung completely enveloping you in his embrace. His body heat felt so inviting and comfortable. Your face heated up when you saw he was indeed true to his word and was in fact sleeping shirtless with you. You grabbed your phone and saw a text from Hana.

Hana: leave by 10:30?

You: yep

It was almost 10:30 so you shifted in the bed to get up. Almost immediately, Taehyung pulled you back and whined sleepily, “Where are you going? Sleep with me.”

You giggled at his cuteness, “I have to go. Hana is waiting for me. And I have to get shit done today.”

He nuzzled himself in the crook of your neck, “Okayy. My smarty pants girl has to study.”

My girl? Does that mean...? No, he used to say stuff like that before. God, you and Taehyung really did need to talk about whatever this was. But for once in your life, you didn’t feel insecure. He must like you somewhat, right? He kissed you. That has to have meant something. You slid your hands against his broad chest, tracing his well defined muscles, “Yea, I do. But you can text me once you get back to campus. You should sleep in for now.”

He nodded and lifted his head from your shoulder. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. You couldn’t hide the smile that was blooming on your face from him.

You packed up your stuff, got ready, headed downstairs after saying bye to Taehyung. 

You texted Hana to let her know that you were ready to go. You sat on the empty couch in the living room, patiently waiting for her to join you. You were scrolling through Instagram when you heard a petite “ahem” in front of you. You looked up and saw an overly cheerful Jennie in front of you.

“Hi _________!” She said planting herself in the seat next to you.

“Hey Jennie,” Why the fuck is she talking to me?

“So, Taehyung was with you last night?”

“Uh ya,”

“So how was it?”

You wrinkled your eyes in confusion, not understanding her question, “How was what?”

She squealed, “The sex silly! How was it? It was your first time right? That’s such a big deal. Can’t believe you let taehyung be your first! You know he doesn’t get feelings for the girls he fucks right?”

You opened your mouth to say something but she kept going, not stopping once to take a breath, “Oh my god, wasn’t it so good though? I mean actually it might not have been that good since it was your first time but Taehyung is so caring, especially when it comes to sex. And oh my god, isn’t his dick so big? I know I shouldn’t really talk about that but since you guys hooked up I can talk to you about it. But his dick is so huge like you don’t even know since you haven’t been with other people. I’m honestly so surprised you guys fucked though. Like Taehyung usually likes girls with experience. And I guess girls who are...more into the party scene. Like it’s totally cool that you are into school but you're just like not really his type. But it’s okay because you guys fucked so his type might have changed, but I seriously doubt it. Anyways, I’m rambling. So tell me how it was!”` 

You blinked a couple times to fully process every word she said. Every single feeling of insecurity that you thought had disappeared came rushing back into your mind. 

What the fuck. What the fuck was I thinking. I never even told him I liked him. And he never told me. Taehyung is a fuckboi; he doesn’t catch feelings. He could have just kissed me because he was bored or some shit. Why would he trade a relationship with an average looking girl like me for fucking hot girls every weekend. I’m so stupid, what was I thinking!

You took a deep breathe and gave her a smile, “We didn’t fuck. We aren’t together. “

“Oh. Well. Then like girl to girl, I just wanted to let you know that Taehyung and I will probably be together officially very soon.”

You raised your eyebrows at this comment, trying to stifle a laugh, “Does he know this?”

Jennie looked offended but before she could ramble on again Hana texted you that she was outside. You immediately got up and headed to her car.

She squealed, “Soo what happened last night?”

You tried to act nonchalant, “uh, nothing much. We kissed.”

She almost crashed the car when you said that. 

Hana berated you with questions and you gave her the sparknotes of what happened, including Jennie’s weird little monologue in the living room. Hana was almost in tears when you recapped the embarrassing moment of you crawling out a window so you didn’t have to kiss Taehyung. She apologized for her stupidity in suggesting that dare but she insisted you needed the push.

You told Hana how you were feeling, especially how unsure and insecure you felt about the situation with Taehyung. She agreed that it was definitely unclear because neither one of you actually said the words “I like you” to each other. 

You and Hana came up with the plan thay the next time you were to hang out with Taehyung alone, you were going to confess. 

You only piped up the courage to do so because Hana made the convincing argument that Taehyung must like you back. 

However, once you returned to campus, the entire week, you were absorbed with finals and studying. Because of this, you and Taehyung were unable to find time to peacefully spend with each other. Also, your finals were finished a day earlier than Taehyung’s, so you went home early. 

This proved to be working against you as with all the free time at home was only more time for you to worry and overthink about Taehyung. Then, once again you were back to avoiding Taehyung and his messages because you were too scared to actually tell him how you felt.

Tae: hey. just got home last night. wanna hang out? 

Tae: ??? 

Tae: ur so annoying u don’t even have school what could u be doing 

Tae: im literally going to come over i live in ur neighborhood in case u forgot 

You didn’t think he would actually follow through but Taehyung did indeed ring your doorbell that evening. You pressed your ear against your bedroom door to hear the conversation between Taehyung and your mom.

You heard his deep voice, “Hello Mrs._________. How are you doing?”

You rolled your eyes at your mother's overly cheery voice, “I’m doing good, Taehyung. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you. You’ve grown up so much!”

“Yes it has been awhile. I’m glad that _________ and I are good friends again. Speaking of __________, is she home? I tried texting her but she didn’t respond. Is she alright?”

“Oh, you’re so sweet! She is feeling a bit under the weather. She’s barely left her room since she’s come home. I’ll let her know that you stopped by.”

“That would be great. It was nice seeing you again Mrs. _________.”

“You too Taehyung. You should come over more often! I know _________ missed you a lot.”

Ugh god, your mom was embarrassing you. 

“Of course I’ll try to stop by once _________ gets back to me. Bye!”

You heard the door close and you groaned. You had to face Taehyung soon. 

Your mom ended up coming to your room and went on and on about how Taehyung was such a nice boy. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. That’s what he needs, more praise.

You laid on your bed, trying to fall asleep but of course it didn’t come easily. As you were trying to focus on the white noise, you realized you kept on getting distracted by a loud pitter patter sound. You got up and heard the sound coming from your window. You walked over and peered out your window.

“You have got to be fucking with me right now” you said, rubbing your temples. 

There was Taehyung, standing outside, throwing pebbles at your window. 

You opened your window, the cool air immediately giving you goosebumps. 

You yelled in a hushed tone, “What are you fucking doing?”

His body smile immediately lit up, “Hey strawberry girl.”

“Taehyung, are you stupid? What are you doing here?”

“Uh, I’m here to see why the fuck you’re ignoring me.”

“I’m uh sick,” you gave two fake coughs, hoping he would be convinced. He was not.

“Cmon _________ I know when you’re lying.”

You heard some clatter coming from downstairs. Fuck. Your parents would be pissed if they saw taehyung outside your window. They obviously thought he was a good guy but your parents had a strict no guys rule. Taehyung was the only exception since you two grew up together but even he wasn’t allowed to come up to your room. 

“Taehyung, I have to go. My parents will see you and we will both get in trouble. We can talk later.” You were about to shut the window but he called your name again. 

“__________! That’s such bullshit. You keep avoiding me. Can’t we talk now?”

“Tae, I can’t keep shouting from my window. I’ll call you. Just go home.”

He stood firmly planted out your window, “Nope. You won’t do that. I’ll stand here all night throwing pebbles at your window. I don’t care if I get in trouble with your parents.”

Fuck. fuck. What should I do? Then you remembered. You went to your closet and found it stored on the highest shelf. Taehyung had actually bought you a rope ladder a long time ago for this very reason of sneaking you out. But you never ended up using it because you were always afraid of getting caught. You threw down the ladder and climbed out of your window quietly. 

Once you landed on the ground, you walked over to Taehyung, arms crossed, pissed that he made you do this. Before you could start yelling at him for being so fucking annoying, he pulled you into a giant hug.

“Missed you. Don’t ever ignore me again,” he whispered into your ear.

And with that hug, you realized how much you missed Taehyung. His warmth, his embrace, his cute smile, his fluffy hair. 

You mumbled, “Missed you too,” softly, hoping he would hear.

You pushed away from him and tried to hide your smile, “My parents are literally going to kill me. I hope you know that.”

“__________ you’re in college. You’re legally an adult. You don’t need to be afraid of getting in trouble with your parents.” Taehyung said, chuckling. He shoved his hands in his hoodie and pulled up his hood, shivering in the cold.

“Okay but you know my parents. They don’t give a shit.”

“Actually, that is very much true. I don’t think they like me very much.” He tugged your arm, leading you down a familiar dirt path. 

“Nah, they like you. For some reason they think you’re like a good kid.”

His mouth opened in shock, “What do you mean for some reason? I’m a great influence on you.”

“Oh really? Like sneaking me out or taking me to frat parties or..” you were trying to think of more dumb shit Taehyung had fully encouraged you to do.

“Or sleeping with you?” He said with a wink.

“Shut up. But for real. They can never know. They would bury us both alive.” 

“Man, we’ve known each other since forever and they still don’t trust me around you.” 

“Don’t take it personally. You’re a guy. They are just strict about boys in general.” You began to recognize whereTaehyung was leading you to.

“Is that another reason why you haven’t dated anyone?”

“Yea I guess. My parents think dating is a distraction. Unless it’s for the intent of marriage then what’s the point. Which I understand. “

Taehyung gripped your hand as he led you down a rocky path, “That sounds lonely.”

“It is. But like I said, it’s not really something I chose. It just kinda happened to me and it’s whatever.”

“I guess I understand in my own way. Dating does take up a lot of time. And I guess I’m afraid it’ll end the same.”

“Same as what?” 

“Same as Yeji. We broke up and I was so upset over it. It hurt a lot because we realized we had no future together. It was just sad that we made all those memories together and now we barely speak.”

“Fuck, that sucks.” 

He nodded, fully agreeing.

Suddenly the path opened up to a clearing, a grassy field with a large tree planted by a shimmering lake. 

He still held onto your hand as you made your way to the tree. You sat down, leaning your back against the tree and Taehyung laid his head on your lap. You started to ruffle his curly hair, playing with the strands.

“Remember how we used to come here?” Taehyung said, softly smiling.

You nodded, recalling how you and taehyung would come here on the weekends, having picnics, reading stories, playing cards. This tree by the lake was filled with precious memories for you and Taehyung. You kept coming even when Taehyung and you weren’t friends.

“Why were you ignoring me _________?” He asked looking up at you with his big brown eyes filled with worry.

“We were both so busy with finals I just wanted us to focus on our studies,” You said, only being partially honest.

“Sure, it’s not cause of anything else right?”

“What else could it be?”

“Maybe the fact that I kissed you and we haven’t spoken about it all.”

You closed your eyes, regretting opening your mouth. Fuck, you really didn’t want to talk about your feelings. You felt the familiar anxious feeling creep up into your heart. You took a deep breath and tried to remember Hana’s words, “___________, this boy likes you.  A lot. He kissed you. He spends time with you. He texts you.. He cares about you. He treats you like a girlfriend and he wants to do boyfriend things with you. He likes you, there is no doubt about it.”

You snapped back to reality, “Yeah that has to do with it.”

“Okay so let’s talk,” He said sitting upright, leaning again against the tree, his shoulder brushing yours.

“Um. Why don’t you go first?” You said as you felt your heart race in your chest. You were going to do it. You were going to finally tell him how you felt.

He gave you a cute little smile, “Well it was a really nice kiss. How did you like it? It was your first kiss.”

“Um uh yea it was really nice. Really sweet,” You babbled out.

“Okay cool. Well then that’s that. We don’t need to be awkward around each other right?”

You nodded. It was now or never. He seemed to have such a chill response to the kiss. He didn’t freak out so he must have enjoyed it. So that means he likes me, right?

Your voice got quiet, “Taehyung.”

His eyes met yours. You whispered out, heart pounding, “I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?” He asked, earnestly.

“I um...” you were racking your brain trying to find the right words to say. You were fiddling with your hands, hoping it would calm you down.

Taehyung looked at you, wide eyed, and took your hands into his.

He leaned in close, his breath tickling your ears, “Hey. You can tell me anything. I'm listening.”

Your brain shut off the second He held your hands. “It's you. It’s fucking you. I like you. I like you a whole fucking lot Kim Taehyung. I think I might love you at this point. And I just really needed to tell you.” 

It went dead silent. All you could hear was Taehyung's soft breathing, the rustle of the wind, and the quiet ripples from the lake. 

Then he smiled and let out a light laugh.

Your heart immediately lifted. He’s smiling. That’s a good sign. He’s going to tell you that he likes you too and then you could be a couple. You were freaking out over nothing. 

“Are you being for real?” He said shakily.

You narrowed your eyes brows, confused at his response.

He laughed nervously. Your confidence was going down rapidly. 

“__________ you aren’t being serious right?”

“What do you mean? Of course I’m being serious. I meant what I said.”

“Cmon ________ why would you do this to me?”

Your heart dropped. Oh my god. It was slowly becoming clear to you. He doesn’t like me. He’s mad that I told him how I felt. This was literally your biggest fear. He doesn’t want you. He never did. 

You couldn’t look at Taehyung anymore. You tore your gaze away from him, “What are you saying? You don’t have feelings for me?”

“__________ I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. But you literally do know that I’m not interested in dating anyone. I’ve told you this.”

Your voice was faltering as you tried to maintain a calm demeanor, “But...you said that...you were thinking about it.”

“Yea I was thinking about it. That doesn’t mean I want to involve myself with someone right away. I’m honestly not ready for a relationship again.” He sighed, clearly frustrated, running his hand through his curly hair. You were frozen, you felt hot tears well up in your eyes but you were determined to not let him see you cry.

He continued, sounding somewhat angry, “I just told you how much my break up with Yeji hurt me.” 

You closed your eyes, letting yourself absorb all of his hurt words. It was too late now. You couldn’t take it back. You let it all out, all your thoughts and feelings and it turned out to be exactly how you feared. You were an idiot. You let your guard down again and you let him in again. And he broke your heart. Again. 

You voiced another nagging thought, “But you kissed me...”

His words were sharp and cold, “It was just a kiss __________. It’s not that deep or that big of a deal.”

This is exactly what you were afraid of. Losing these meaningful moments with someone who not only doesn’t care about you but also someone who finds them unimportant. The kiss meant everything to you and absolutely nothing to him. 

Taehyung's voice softened, “I’m sorry ________ but I don’t know how I feel okay? I’m confused. I do like you but I’m just not sure if it’s the way you want me to.” 

You felt his hand cup your cheek and he tiled your face towards him, finally making eye contact. He saw your teary, red eyes that you tried so hard to hide. “I’m sorry,” he whispered out. The way your heart was thudding against your chest made you realize no matter what he did, no matter how he hurt you, no matter how many times he would take your heart and crush it into tiny bits, you would still love him. God you were so fucked.

You whispered back hoarsely, staring deep into his dark eyes, feeling brave enough to speak your mind to him one more time, “Don’t be. I just...always had this hope in my head, I guess. Maybe that with time...you could love me the way I wanted you to. But if we were meant to be, we would have been by now. Someone like me doesn’t end up with someone like you.”

You couldn’t take it anymore. You got up abruptly and left. You heard him distantly calling your name but you couldn’t turn back. Every muscle in your body wanted you to turn around and just say “forget it” to Taehyung and have things return back to normal. But for once, you listened to your head, it was over, you told him how you felt and he didn’t give a shit. 

You walked home, alone, feeling comforted by the coldness of the night. You climbed back in your room and threw the ladder deep into your closet, knowing you would never need it again. You laid in your bed, processing what just happened. You believed in something that wasn’t even real. You glanced at your tear stained face in the standing mirror across from your bed. You couldn’t help but wonder what it was about you that wasn’t enough for him. The truth was you couldn’t be mad at Taehyung. You didn’t even love yourself. And that’s how you understood why Taehyung didn’t either. You closed your eyes, finally letting the exhaustion set in and breathing slowly, as if all of the pressure of stress and anxiety were dissipating from your body. 

The reality settled in your brain and your heart: being lonely fits you. 

author’s note: part 5 will definitely be the last part. i was writing this and i realized it was getting very lengthy and there are some plot parts im still working out lol. anyways i was very inspired by some tv shows and movies i rewatched recently for this part (new girl, princess diaries 2, & ofc to all the boys). lmk what you think and if you would like to be added to the taglist!

tags: @fleurmoon @tangledsparkles @chocolatebelievercrusade @brokenobserver @ncitydreamies @soulstaes @bonnyskies @thelilbutifulthings @busansgloss @imluckybitches @xlectrahearts @embrace-themagic @bts-dreamybaby @belshka @trinbin039 @xxlostinseoul @sheislikearock @madjammil @guksflavor @yn-the-reader @kingjvngins @ggukkieland @waves-and-woods @aa-ronpa

[impulstor]

explanations behind my song choice for my 3lsmp playlist under the read more! keep in mind, some of these songs don't really have a reason beyond just... vibes. and that some ideas have changed over time. anyway!

playlist here

anti-hero — originally added as an etho song, and still applies. with him being prepared to fight & kill for ren + the rest of the red army. also, he tends to be a bit unpredictable and has a very different moral standing from someone like, say, martyn.

kill the sun — fits with the series as a whole, with shifting alliances and friendships, and with people killing and being killed by one another.

special — this ones for all the mfs who didn't pick a side until really late, or were bouncing between factions for a while 💪. especially for tango, as an example, making friends with someone who he can also consider his enemy, and being completely unsure where he stands in any group, though he wants to have their faith.

villain — this song is just really good for making a mental amv for lmao. it's good for demonstrating differing alliances n sides, n of course that applies here.

oh, death — not a lot of specific thoughts for this, just. yknow, death, vibes, dying for someone, watching your friend die, etc.

6up 5oh cop-out — first of all, I'm just a slut for will wood sometimes. second, a lot of the lyrics on their own could 100% be applied to events in the series (I mean I did use some from it for my etho n tango drawing for funsies) so. it's a strange song but the vibes fit well, in my opinion :]

kill of the night — a bit self explanatory, I think. in a series about trying to outlive, and to eventually kill your friends? no doubt you're going to end up hunting certain people down, hmmm? revenge, n all that. works well for multiple characters, really.

you're gonna go far, kid — impulse. just like. tango, or maybe etho, at impulse. "with a thousand lies and a good disguise, hit em right between the eyes" I meaaan 🤔 how is it NOT impulse lmao

kill the lights — once again, killing, death, murder, yknow. good vibes. also people lying and betraying one another, and watching as their friends and enemies die in front of them, people being changed by the events that transpire.. also technically they ARE actors sooo. kill the actor, yknow

mad IQs — mostly this song just slaps (thank you eexer 🙏) but also the lyrics fit well with the events! death, murder, killing your friends, burning. there is a lot of fire.

go get your gun — works very well for the whole war goin on. one side vs another, fighting and losing allies, fighting to win for their fallen allies, cheating fate if they DO win. also the line "when this is over, we'll raise a glass straight up to the sun" could be seen as like. everyone coming together to be friends once it's all over bc they are!

c'est la vie — it fits well. bad things happen, you lose people, you hurt, karma kicks your ass, but that's just life, and that's the game. c'est la vie.

i'm gonna win — fits for how they're all fighting to be the last one standing. and also with having to work through literally dying and to not give up, if you want to win.

mr capgras... — once again, I just like will wood. also fits well with people fighting each other, mostly with the chorus. "you'll never take me alive" / "you better pray that I die" likjkeeeee 👀 you could make art fitting those lyrics tbh

curses — red & green duos (at least. when they were intact :/) sticking together, taking care of one another when everything is going to hell, people are dying, and it's getting intense. they trust each other, at least.

under the pressure — don't really have something specific, it just fits well, with the lyrics. honestly this one fits well as a skizz song, now that I'm thinking about it. he went from trying to be friends with a lotta people to taking two out for good and went out in a blaze of glory. yea. that's what I got lol

everybody wants to rule the world — I dont think I really need an explanation for this one. it just fits well with everyone trying to win the whole game, and with everything slowly ramping up in intensity

rebels — for scar and grian being crime bros for the first while :] everything IS burning, good for them!

outrunning karma — impulse once again. playing everyone, playing to everyones good sides as much as he could, until the act didnt matter anymore. but karma might really kick him in the ass, if he ends up as one of the last survivors, and others turn on him for betraying everyone earlier on.

you're nobody til somebody wants you dead — shrug emoji. just fits well mostly. friends fighting eachother, betrayal, yadda yadda.

thanks i hate it — mmm,, tango? idk, im just a tango enjoyer, and he has spent quite a bit of effort trying to please certain groups to like. no avail. especially team crastle. like tbh he was solidly on board with em for a while, and mightve gone back to them on his own. but cleo blackmailed him anyway. rip tango.

the riddle — ALL OF IT. the whole series. it fits

crazy = genius — i dont rly like brendan urie like at all. so i might remove it from the playlist at some point. but it does fit with scar and grian being villains.

icarus — mmm fits well with grian. with the wing imagery, and with the fact that he made SO many enemies by working with scar. and he never reaallllyyyyy apologized, did he? he's walking a dangerous line, with few allies,

cradles — idk lmao. vibes only.

wolf in sheeps clothing — impulse again mostly lol. sung by skizz or etho probably. betrayal <3

how villains are made — again, for those neutral parties that had to choose a side. its about being torn between two sides & having to choose. honestly, I could see it fitting bigb, if he does some funky villain stuff next session. he deserves it I think <3

killing butterflies — trauma, ouchie, angst, murder your friends. everything hurts.

king — ren!! that's it.

little lion man — bruh if ren dies and leaves martyn alone.... ghost ren to martyn.... ouch.

gives you hell — red army @ sand people. specifically etho and ren get to be petty at scar i think

wine red — [gestures vaguely] all of it

i bet my life — red and green duos again. though it could be after some of them permadie.

miss missing you — (thanks again eexer this one also slaps <3) ouch impulse and tango angst. or impulse and etho angst. OR etho and tango angst. THEM. :(

youth — all of it but like. after it's over. just like going back and looking at how it all went down.

a gorey demise — i just think it would be fun to animate everyone's different deaths to this song tbh

another one bites the dust — they are once again Dying. but it's not angsty and dramatic this time.

god rest ye merry gentlemen — 😔 the whole thing again. pain

[stargayzingidiot]

In The Eye of The Storm

Previous chapter | Chapter five | Next chapter

Summary: In a world where some people are blessed with powers, Patton feels cursed.  

This chapter: Patton meets Logan

Characters: Patton Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders

Pairings: Eventual romantic Moxiety, brotherly Analogical

Words: 1417

---

Patton and Virgil had been texting for about a week before Patton mustered up the courage to set up a meeting with Virgil and his brother at their apartment.

It was raining a bit, and Patton was carefully walking up the street.

Virgil had recommended wearing headphones and listening to distracting music to tune out the thoughts when he was outside. He had even made Patton a playlist with some of the music he listened to when anxiety got the best of him, as well as some songs he thought Patton would like.

Right now, a song from My Chemical Romance was playing. It was bringing Patton back to when he sat alone in the bathroom, listening to music while eating lunch in school. That was before he dropped out because he couldn’t concentrate and moved to online school instead.

Patton was actually kind of mad at himself for not thinking about the idea before. It would have made so many grocery-trips a lot more bearable. But he was extremely grateful that Virgil had cared enough to give him the advice. He still didn’t think he deserved any of the kindness, though.

The music helped a lot. He could still hear the thoughts of the people walking past him, but it was more muffled and much easier to ignore. 

He was so distracted that he almost bumped into someone. Patton realized that he had also missed a turn. He walked back, and it didn’t take long before he stood in front of a tall apartment building.

This was it, Virgil’s apartment.

Patton saw two signs on the front door.

“Emile Picani: Specialized ability therapist”

“Power work-out! Get control - Remy Aureli”

Patton’s heart skipped a beat. 

‘those must be the people Virgil told me about’ he thought.

He got nervous all of a sudden. Thoughts of failure plaguing his mind. What if he couldn’t get control? What if this was all there was? A life full of noise. But the small voice of hope made him ring the doorbell.

It didn’t take long before he was buzzed in. They lived on the highest floor, but Patton chose to take the stairs to get time to collect his thoughts.

Patton had barely knocked on the door one time before it was opened. Before him stood a tall man with slicked-back hair, a button-up, and glasses. He must have been by the door when Patton reached it. 

“Ah, salutations, you must be Patton. I’m Logan. A pleasure to meet you,” the man said as he reached his hand out to Patton. 

He slowly took it, still getting over the shock of how quickly the door was opened.

“Hi. Nice to meet you too,” he said, trying to smile. He was not sure he was succeeding, though.

Then he heard Virgil from inside the apartment.

“Invite him in, Lo. I can feel his nervousness all the way from over here,”

Patton felt a smile tuck on his lips as he heard Virgil’s voice, but he quickly forced it down when he saw Logan staring.

They went to the kitchen, where Virgil had already put down three cups of steaming hot tea. When he saw Patton and Logan walk in, he gave them a small smile and a wave.

“Oh, um, small question, Logan,” Patton said, waiting for Logan to acknowledge that he was talking before continuing, “how did you open the door so fast? I feel like I didn’t even knock before you opened,”

Logan looked confused for a second. For him doing stuff fast was an everyday occurrence. He sometimes forgot he did it.

“Ah, I can see why that would be confusing,” he said “I was blessed with the power of speed,”

Patton flinched at the word ‘blessed’ and Virgil felt his discomfort at the mention.

“Okay, let’s sit. I would like to drink my tea before it gets cold for once,” he said, trying to lift the mood.

Patton gave him a small smile, and Logan huffed.

“Maybe you should stop forgetting about the tea and then finding it days after,” Logan chuckled.

“That was one time! I mostly just forget about it for thirty minutes!” Virgil protested.

Patton’s discomfort had shifted to delight, and Virgil couldn’t stop the smile forming on his lips. It was nice feeling something other than sadness from him.

They sat down and started talking. Patton briefly wondered why he didn’t hear much of Logan’s thoughts, but then he remembered why he couldn’t hear Virgil’s and just figured that his brother learned to control his thoughts better too. It was nice to have a conversation without all the extra noise. Now that he thought about it, Patton couldn’t recall when the last time he had more than a brief conversation with someone was.

The conversation carried on for hours. They talked about everything from movies to music.

He could get used to that, having people to talk to.

But the nagging thought that it would all eventually crash and burn was still there.

“So, Patton, you remember those people I told you about at the park?” Virgil asked, “the ones who might be able to help you?”

Virgil felt the spike of excitement in Patton, and it was impossible to stop the smile it brought to his face.

“Yes!” he answered but quickly became embarrassed by how loud he was. “I mean, um, yeah, I think I saw their signs outside earlier?”

Virgil didn’t even try to stop the chuckle that came out of him. He could feel the small sliver of hope blossoming in Patton’s chest. 

“Yeah, they work in this apartment. I’ve already talked with them, and they’re more than happy to help you,”

Patton threw his arms around Virgil and kept muttering ‘thank yous’. Virgil made sure to absorb a bit of the pain still residing in his new friend. Enough so that it would make a difference whilst Patton also wouldn’t notice he had done it.

Logan watched the hug from the sofa. He wasn’t much of a touchy person, so he was okay just knowing that Patton appreciated what they were doing for him. Logan knew his brother, though, and he could see that this supposed destructive, evil man was special to him. He really hoped there was more to the vision than what he saw. His brother deserved someone who could make him smile like this. Logan wished with all his might that this whole thing wouldn’t blow up in their faces and hurt Virgil.

“Oh, Patton, one more thing,” Virgil said after they had finished the hug, “since Remy and Emile are here in this building, you are more than welcome to stay in our guest bedroom if that would be easier than traveling every time you have an appointment,”

“Really? Are you sure? I mean, I don’t know. I don’t want to be a bother -” Patton blabbered on nervously before Logan interrupted him.

“We assure you that it is fine, Patton. We are here to help,”

“Then yes! I think I would really like that,”

‘Good’ Logan thought, ‘now we can keep an eye on him’

“Keep an eye on me?” Patton asked, confusion painted on his face.

Virgil sensed Logan’s panic and stepped in.

“Yeah, of course, Pat, we want to make sure you’re okay,”

“Oh, okay, thank you,” he replied, feeling a flutter in his stomach upon hearing the nickname.

He looked at the clock and realized how late it had gotten. It made him sad that he had to leave, but the animals at the pet shop he worked at needed him.

“I’m sorry, I really have to leave now if I want to keep my job. I can’t thank you enough for this,” he said, walking out to get his jacket and shoes.

“It’s okay. I’ll text you later to figure out how we’ll do the whole move thing, alright?” 

“Okay, Virge” Patton nodded, gave Virgil and Logan a smile, and waved goodbye.

And just like that, the brothers were once again alone in the apartment. Just like Patton had a few moments before, Virgil felt warmth swirling inside when he heard the nickname. 

While Virgil was busy blushing, Logan was already thinking about how they would go about this whole situation. The easy part was getting Patton to their apartment. He made a mental checkmark now that that had been accomplished. The hard part was figuring out why Patton was going to destroy the city and how to stop him.

---

Heya, writing will probs be a bit lazy from now on. I just wanna get the story out lol.

Taglist for this fic: @radioactivehelena @residentanchor @omgsomeonesomewhereonearth @magpiemorality @the-office-cat @fandomfan315 @croftersjam15 @kawaiikat54 @chaoticturtledream @sunshineluve @aricana8 @wellhellothere09 @librowyrm @rainbowemonightmare @trash-noodle @irritating-lady-knight

General taglist: @naturaldee-saster @ent-is-undecisive @patton-pending-123 @anxiousnotaesthetic @gayformlessblob @idont-freaking-know

(ask to be added or removed)

[thequibblah]

⭐️ would love some commentary on that dancing scene (or really any commentary on the various parties thrown by the marauders) from the party happening next to the Potions Club party ⭐️

WELL WELL WELL

"This is...a lot of trouble to go to." "It's the Marauders. They love trouble."

i love writing party scenes (as i'm sure you all know lol) and one of the best/worst things w the marauders parties is striking a balance between their, uh, audacious plans, and what's realistically possible at hogwarts without getting caught. (aka literally why i made up the dodgy lodgings). i went back and forth so long on whether or not they could plausibly have managed that with slughorn's dinner next door, but then was like ah whatever the party has to happen for plot reasons so.... plot ex machina??

anyway, i love using parties to establish character — what a brilliant stage of teenage performance they provide. i love contrasting the hogwarts parties to, say, evan wronecki's — for instance, how lily and co. are more at ease in the former, as seventh years, with their classmates hosting, than they were at evan's nye bash

i also love that it gives me space to establish who is and isn't popular, so to speak, but also who acts or doesn't act the way we presume popular kids will act

doe, for instance, who is by all accounts a level-headed and non-wild person, has a more exciting time on net at marauders' parties than mary (drinking game, kissing remus), though she's not a big drinker and isn't really into parties. but she's comfortable in her own little social circle at a bigger event (like with michael at evan's) and so isn't bothered at all by the marauders' do, because...

She did, in fact, trust the Marauders. Her general belief in the inherent goodness of people notwithstanding, she didn't think they would do anything to harm their friends. Intentionally.

this bit always makes me laugh

as with many things, i feel very saddened that i didn't get to make more out of the fools' olympics (although one could argue that The Dance was a pro) — as in, i wish i'd been able to squeeze more of it into the story itself. i could probably come up with a list of tasks and who completed them LOL

WAIT OH MY GOD I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THIS it just might be my favourite part of this chapter

"How did you do that?" Gillian said, glancing between the other two girls. "Just — drink it without a second thought?" "Practice," said Mary. "Scottish — constitution," David said hoarsely. "I once drank some of Mrs. Skower's All-Purpose Magical Mass Remover," said Priya.

priya is all i aspire to be

can i say, too, it's hilarious to me how many people worried niamh would be a james love interest? i feel like you will not rest easy on that count until he and lily are together... but that is not where the danger lies babes

circling back to popularity/unpopularity, another fun outlier. gillian is first established, in 33, as someone with friends (we see her around sara and in the seventh-year ravenclaws' compartment) but she's not exactly at ease at the party either — recall how she hesitates when mary invites her. only later, in 38, do we realise that our opinion of her has been skewed by the narration (from doe, who naturally assumes any friendly, nice person must have a wealth of friends and be floating through life; and mary, who naturally assumes anyone she isn't bored by must have the social skills of a medieval noblewoman at court), and she's a bit of a pariah in her own house

david, on the other hand, is just flat-out not in his element. and not because of the drinking or the, er, general revelry (see: summer with mary!), even though he doesn't partake much in either. unlike doe, the company breaks rather than makes his enjoyment — he's acutely aware, the whole time, that his cooler, more liked brother is around:

"Not your scene?" "What gave it away?" said David drily. As one they looked at Chris...

...and mary has intuited as much too, even though she has a lot more in common, superficially speaking, with chris than david

so, i think while i was writing this chapter i made a post complaining about how, as much as i love juggling the constraints of historical fiction, i hate that music from the 70s limits me in terms of tracklists. i.e., when i say a certain record is playing i can't just hit shuffle and go somewhere entirely different to set the mood shortly thereafter

this problem was because i wanted, NAY, NEEDED, to have "martha my dear" playing in the aftermath of that mary and david interaction. of course, time passes in that section break, but since "come and get it," which they talk about it, is a sirius song (though it could be a mary song), and i feel too strongly about needle drops to let that conversation go without a soundtrack. germaine even correctly guesses the white album is on because of mary:

Apparently Mary got fonder of the White Album the drunker she was.

...and of course the song itself makes me squeal with how very mary it is — not that it is something she would listen to, necessarily, or identify with (it would hold up too close of a mirror, ha), but it sounds like it could've been written about her ("hold your head up, you silly girl/look what you've done/when you find yourself in the thick of it/help yourself to a bit of what is all around you," which really sums up the entirety of her portree holiday, lol)

BUT! if "martha my dear" is to play here, then i have some Serious Chronology Concerns. i knew germeline had to kiss and jily had to dance and ideally in that order. but what would those scenes be soundtracked by!!!! i was limited to side two of the white album!!!

so i did the healthy thing and panic-listened to the white album. "don't pass me by" was, right away, an easy lock for the dance, because it's danceable, but not in a way that would've scared lily off. lyrically, it feels GREAT for jily in this moment, on the cusp of lily's realisation ("waiting for your knock, dear [...] i don't hear it, does it mean you don't love me anymore?" vs OF COURSE "don't pass me by [...] 'cause you know darling, i love only you"). i feel about "don't pass me by" the same way as NYT critic nik cohn: it's "straight ahead and clumsy and greatly enjoyable, backed by a beautiful hurdy-gurdy organ," which, if that isn't everything i wanted to evoke with the dance itself!!!!!!

ok we'll circle back to this, but onward with the musical discussion

thus i had four songs to choose from, between "martha my dear" and "don't pass me by," for the germeline scene — "piggies," "blackbird," "i'm so tired," and "rocky raccoon." the latter is on my sirius playlist, so auto-no; "piggies" is, well, like that, so also a no. "blackbird" is a certified germaine classic that was written personally by paul mccartney for germaine, but it seemed too introspective for the moment. i don't think i'd ever listened to "i'm so tired" before this panicked searching, and honestly it must be some wild luck that it is. just SO RIGHT!!!! it's so lethargic and tortured and angsty and, well, a bit of a stoner song, so.... it's THERE

AND NOW for the dance! true story, i initially wanted jily to have a real conversation, after the party. i had the dance in there and then james would catch up with lily after to be like, "hey i was wrong actually, you should write to petunia." but then i realised i wanted james and sirius to have a conversation about the bike/money, and i wanted it to strike a different chord, tonally, than the jily conversation. then i realised it would be too much to have both and i'd need to condense that conversation into the dance. VERY nearly cut the dance in favour of the conversation but wow i am glad i didn't

The tinkling piano signalled the start of the next song; she extended a hand, very matter-of-factly, to James, "Come on, this is a good one."

not pictured: james having a fucking breakdown

obviously, i could have gone the route of a genuine dramatic dance, but as previously mentioned lily would have chickened out, and i wanted to have this be an experience she could look back on and pine about because of how fun it was and james totally doesn't like her back

Loath as she was to admit it, this most indelicate of waltzes suited the plodding chords of "Don't Pass Me By." And worst of all, once they had stopped stepping on each other's feet James started to sing, in the poorest possible Ringo imitation she had ever heard in her life.

by the way, attentive readers of blink three times will recall:

He finally starts to lead — thank goodness, because she’s not the one who was forced into formal dance lessons as a child...

so in 36, this is james being drunk, but it is also james being silly on purpose because not only is he JAMES and so he must take the mick, he also knows it will put lily at ease

okay, and this bit:

"Don't pass me by, don't make me cry, don't make me blue," they both shouted rather than sang, "'Cause you know darling—" Lily broke off, laughing, dimly aware that she had done so to avoid saying I love only you while staring right at him.

from the FIRST MOMENT i picked out "don't pass me by," i knew i knew I KNEW that lily would have thoughts about this line. at this point in the story if someone questioned her about it she would probably have a full-scale breakdown about her male friends vs her female friends ("but no... i suppose i wouldn't mind saying it to remus.... but that's different!" how is it different, lily? "it's different!")

anyway, the bottom line is she could NOT abide saying it. i enjoyed writing that because 1. same girl and 2. it felt like a nice bit of close foreshadowing for her realisation, which i knew was coming soon. so that's a really circular way of saying, i knew what it meant but ideally to readers it was just oh this will mean something far-off in the future!!! which is usually true for me but SURPRISE babey it was just two chapters away!!!

note btw that lily "falls for james"

Lily spun faster than she’d intended to. The room was a brief, kaleidoscope blur. Then there was James. “Jesus, Evans,” he said, steadying her as the next track began.

>:)

and after i thought tracklists would fuck me up, i turned them into my WEAPON!!

Huffing, she stepped out of his arms. (There were some songs you could sing along to with your mates, and “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?” was not one of them.)

(so, you know, keep in mind that for the rest of this conversation, paul is in the background howling "no one will be watching us/why don't we do it in the road?")

also:

"...I’m not drinking tonight, but I’d better get the royal treatment after we win on Saturday."

and then what happened <3

wait jesus oh my god i really went hard on this huh

She only saw its result: the easy grin had given way to an expression so serious it was almost sweet.

LILY??????

and hey, remember when:

...because in chapter 26:

Dex’s measured opinions about the wizarding world seemed more the result of upbringing and inexperience than ill will, but Lily had not expected a radical change of heart.

...but then in 36:

He was right, damn it. And a part of her had known all along, had sought him out expressly so that he would say the opposite thing to her. He’d gone and proven her wrong. She broke the staring match first [...] “What brought on the change of heart?” “It’s a long story, and I expect it’ll have an unsatisfying end if I told it to you.” Lily scoffed, but James had on that maddening grin that meant he would not budge. “Oh, all right.” Softer, she added, “Thank you.” He began to back away, towards the bar. “It’s give and take, Evans.”

in conclusion, i never forget, besties

[pen-emue]

Hey I haven't watched dream smp before but it looks cool - can you recommend a way to watch it?

Oh hi! I will try my best. Thanks for this opportunity to talk about it! It might not be as much concentrated story as you expect from the fanart and animatics and stuff, but it is very cool. If you already watch a lot of Youtube and Twitch it will be easier to get into than if you don’t. It’s a lot funnier than you might expect from the angsty fan art lol

It’s a lot of cool content creators who are friends playing Minecraft together and interacting, and the way I got into it was I started liking a few of the people and watched their videos (both Dream SMP and not) and then met the others through them. If that makes sense. Because there are a lot of people on the server and trying to introduce you to all of them would be overwhelming. Also, there are VERY different vibes between different people’s content. I knew nothing about Minecraft when I started watching this stuff, but I have very much enjoyed learning the mechanics vicariously. Also, I generally enjoy Esports and people who are very good at things being good at things.

Don’t worry about spoilers since it’s the kind of thing that’s easy to watch out of order. You can start at the surface level then dig in deeper to things that happened in the past.

I’m guessing what has intrigued you is the plot stuff, so I’m going to start you off with WilburSoot. Here’s his Dream SMP playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTs1uMdoVww&list=PL6WHJUJ5a3Fl_A9HRkcIhhPzZ6FOLTiwf&ab_channel=WilburSoot

He streams on Twitch but he doesn’t stream Dream SMP anymore. He is still on the server though so you’ll see him on other people’s streams. (Why this is will become clear.) That’s a good place to start. You can definitely tell if it’s for you from those videos, I think. It’s a gentler introduction than what I had. I really like TommyInnit now, but I didn’t at first, and he almost turned me off it. I came back to it in a roundabout way.

If you do like Wilbur’s videos and want more let me recommend you some stuff.

Technoblade streams on Youtube. He’s a good place to go for post-Wilbur content. Also, he’s my favourite and watching his other videos (would recommend the potato war) is what got me to give Dream SMP another shot. https://www.youtube.com/c/Technoblade/videos

TommyInnit is unfortunately the closest thing Dream SMP has to a main character. (jkjk I love him like one might love an annoying little brother.) Also, his recent exile arc was pretty angsty and interesting. He streams on Twitch.

Main: https://www.youtube.com/c/TommyInnit/videos

Vods: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9gVCa6ap-KDayMRPg5wjIg/videos

Now that I’m super addicted, what I do is when I feel like watching Dream SMP I go to Twitch and look in the Minecraft category. There is very often someone live, and it’s a good way to find the smaller creators on the server. Give everyone a try and find out whose vibe is right for you. There are some of the creators (even some big ones) who I don’t like as much so I tend to avoid those streams unless I really need my fix lol.

You may have different tastes from me so don’t let me constrain you. Also, you never know whose stream Dream will randomly show up in! (we’ll get to him) Man’s chaotic as hell! Also, plot can happen unprompted at any time, even if you think you’re watching a chill building stream. You’re never safe from the RP.

Good Twitch Channels to follow. Yes, I am bias. Plot relevance varies.

Tommy: https://www.twitch.tv/tommyinnit

Tubbo: https://www.twitch.tv/tubbo

Fundy: https://www.twitch.tv/fundy

Ranboo: https://www.twitch.tv/ranboolive

Phil: https://www.twitch.tv/philza

Niki: https://www.twitch.tv/nihachu

Sam: https://www.twitch.tv/awesamdude

Eret: https://www.twitch.tv/eret

Other assorted things:

Playlist of my favourite animatics: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLhd0KLlxkow-xoR6LjJJiGKkjj7XsfXsE

Dream: The man himself, server owner and God, doesn’t stream on the SMP because he’s too busy giving his friends content, very good at video games, irl rival of Technoblade, 100000IQ, character self is a terrible scary villain.

Watch Manhunt if you’re one of the few people on the planet who hasn’t seen it already: https://www.youtube.com/c/dream/videos

[queen-erika-the-songful]

Okay, here are my initial thoughts on Princess Adventure. These are in no way organized; they’re just as I can remember them. Feel free to send asks if you want

- Barbie defending Chelsea’s creativity and imagination is great to see. It’s one of the best parts of Dreamhouse Adventures so it’s nice to see them continue that in this film

- I like “Try It On” a lot more now. It’s not my favorite, and I think it’s one of the weaker songs in comparison to the rest of the soundtrack, but it’s honestly kind of a bop.

- “It’s like they don’t even want me in this movie!” LOL even Tammy herself knows she’s been done an absolute injustice.

- Holy crap Amelia’s plan is so freaking funny to me. She could’ve just, like...invited Barbie over to her kingdom since she’s the princess and was already a fan of Barbie’s vlogs anyway. But nah, she’s gotta have this whole convoluted “cultural exchange” bullshit I just can’t

- Speaking of Amelia, it’s a little disappointing that we don’t spend nearly as much time with her as we do with Barbie, and, thus, we don’t get to see who the supposed “real” her really is. She says she finally got to explore things about herself, like her fears and dreams, but she never goes into details. Ironically, the audience never gets to see who the true Amelia is, we just have to go off what she said about “who [she] is does matter”. I mean, we certainly get glimpses of it (again, the convoluted plan - she’s obviously ‘act first think later’), but overall it’s not nearly enough, at least to me

- “(Not A) Picture Perfect Girl” might just be my favorite song from this movie. It honestly made me tear up a bit. We’ll see if that changes over my next rewatches

- The running gag with Trey mixing up Barbie and Amelia while Ted and Ned knew was a lot funnier than I expected it to be

- Trey is now trans and you can’t change my mind.

- I really appreciate “Somewhere New” a lot more now since seeing it in the movie. I love that the choreography starts on the plane. It was a cool choice that really felt like a “musical” thing to do. I also like that everyone got to sing at leaset a line or two on their own. 

- WTF happened between Floravia and Johanistan? Did they have a war or something? Why are they being united into just a bigger Floravia? It sounds pretty fishy. I can understand why Johan is so upset based on what little information is given to us, so I wish they had gone into it a bit more.

- Johan asked “Amelia” (Barbie in disguise) if she remembered what they said they would do as rulers when they were kids. That never comes back and it really bothered me. What was the promise? That they’d rule together? That they’d treat each other’s kingdom equally? I actually thought at the coronation that Amelia would give the answer to that question (something like “Johan, remember what we told each other...”) and then do something like absolve the treaty so that she and Johan would rule their own respective kingdoms. l

- IDK, I think I would’ve just liked it more if Johan had been like Amelia’s brother/cousin/whatever that wanted to become King. He’d be a more boring villain that way but it would be less complicated than this.

- WE GOT REPRISES OF 2 SONGS BUT THEY AREN’T ON THE SOUNDTRACK?! I will NOT stand for that. As soon as the movie comes out on DVD I’m ripping those tracks out and adding them to my playlist

- I really thought Ken and Barbie were finally going to get together. I shall now accept my clown shoes and wig. I’m already applying the makeup now.

- The sequence for “Life in Color” disappointed me a bit. It’s one of my favorite songs on the soundtrack, but the placement in the movie felt like it came out of nowhere. I was really hoping for a nice, tender moment between Barbie and Amelia. Even if they were kept separated, it could’ve started with them video-chatting again. Maybe they’d talk about their personal struggles and then Barbie would stop the recording (”We don’t have to film this...”) and they’d just have a moment between themselves to talk.

- On the other hand, “King of the Kingdom” was such a good scene. It was very entertaining and I laughed a lot (which I had to hold back a lot since I was still at work). Also, those boys can move!!

- To make up for all of the interruptions and missed opportunities, Ken Carson deserves at least 3 episodes centered on him and his life and 1 where he finally tells Barbie how he feels

- TAFFY HAD NO REASON TO BE IN THIS MOVIE. I don’t care that Barbie almost always needs an animal sidekick. Snowy (Amelia’s bunny) fills that role. Taffy just gave everyone a freaking heart attack. Also, how the heck did she survive the plane ride? California to Floravia is a 10-hour flight so how did she stay unnoticed for so long?? ROBERTS FAMILY, GET SOME DAMN LEASHES!

- Speaking of that scene, I hate it. It ate up valuable time that could’ve been later spent developing the plot or Amelia’s character. It was only like 2 minutes but in a movie that is already pretty short (1hr11min) every second counts

- Can DA please finally drop the whole “Hey look Renee is claustrophobic” already? It’s repetitive as all hell and honestly it rubs me the wrong way how often it’s played for laughs. It works in the DA Halloween episode since it’s all about everyone facing their fears but everywhere else it feels like a cheap & undeserved laugh (it only happens twice in the movie I think but I wanted to mention it anyway)

- Morningstar being a little bitch to Barbie was hilarious. I don’t really like animal toys anymore but I’d totally buy her. (She’s part of a doll-horse set called Prance & Shimmer Horse. The Barbie doll has Amelia’s princess dress).

- “This is My Moment” really warmed my heart. The last shot with Amelia and Barbie smiling at each other reminded me a lot of Princess & the Popstar actually. I also really like how they brought back stuff from “Try It On” for Barbie’s verse. Musical finale numbers that bring back earlier motifs is something I just cannot get enough of. 

- I liked Alfonso. Like Amelia said, he means well; he just didn’t put as much thought into what Ameila herself wants as he could have. But hey, he was learning just as much as they were

- I LOVED all of the stuff with Barbie trying to make it big and that bitch Rose Ross being all “This is what you have to do to make it sweetie :)” like that’s a great thing to show to kids. You can want to be famous and expand your content like Barbie wanted to, but you have to be smart about it, and you have to stay true to yourself. That plotline also mixed pretty well with Amelia’s life being formulated for the public too. I really did like all of that stuff about how media, social media especially, is constantly fabricated and edited to make things seem easier/better than they might be in real life. 

- THEY FINALLY WENT BACK TO INDIVIDUAL END MORALS THANK GOD. I got really tired of seeing “This is our story, what’s yours?” after every Barbie movie, especially when every movie that used it wasn’t going for that message. Hell, that’s not even a lesson or anything, that’s just a random end quote.

- “Life doesn’t happen on camera. Life is what happens when the cameras are off” THAT IS SO GOOD AND RELEVANT I CAN’T EVEN!!!