#I might have done a large amount of snow

[cityofjimmy]

I’m drunk and high and I had no idea straight guys on tinder where trying to be bi, but here I am.

[bucketsofmonsters]

I was wondering, in Proper Etiquette (my favourite of your writings) Reader is wearing dresses and corsets all the time (which is Wonderful and corsets are Not Evil Actually they're literally a bra that supports the weight of heavy layers of skirts BUT I DIGRESS) but how would Rygel react to his wife, feeling a little cold as fall comes along, asks to have a sweater like he's wearing and some warm pants or a wool skirt and petticoat to wear with the sweater, rather than her usual fine clothes that clearly aren't built for the weather in her new home

You’re so real for the corset thing, I will defend corsets until the day I die. Also sorry this took me forever

Rygel ran hot. You were well aware of that fact by now. Every time you pressed up against him he radiated heat, more than any person you’d ever been near, although to be fair you didn’t have much of a frame of reference. 

What had taken a bit longer was realizing they all did. 

When you’d first arrived it had been summer, a little colder than the summers you were accustomed to, but nothing too severe. 

But then winter had come, and with it, something unfamiliar to you. With it came the snow. 

It was a perfect coincidence for them because while they seemed largely comfortable in the cold of your new home, you were not. You were instead accustomed to a little rain in the winter, maybe some cold winds, but nothing an extra layer or two couldn’t combat. 

This was far from that. At first, the snow had been delightful. You’d only ever heard stories and caught glimpses of it on the peaks of faraway mountains, but here it was all around you. 

As the novelty faded, it became a bit more of a problem. 

You tried what you’d always done, adding layers and bundling up, but you just didn’t have enough. Nothing you had was built for this kind of cold and it wasn’t like you could borrow clothes from someone, you’d drown in the sheer amount of fabric.

So instead you stood, bundled under layers that were helpless against the biting cold. You’d barely been outside for a few minutes before you’d rushed back into the warmth of your room but the cold had settled in your bones and couldn’t be snuffed out so easily. 

Your jaw was clenched to stop your teeth from chattering, your whole body wound tight, trying to preserve what little heat you had. 

“I’m not built for this,” you said with a huff as you collapsed backward onto your bed, wrapping yourself in blankets. 

Rygel huffed out a laugh from his desk, his attention still focused on whatever he was reading. “Not built for what?”

“Winter. Not here at least. I think I might go into hibernation.”

He froze, eyes widening before he turned to you. “Oh my god, you’re cold. Of course you are, I should��ve prepared for this.”

You cut him off. “No, I’m fine, really. I’ve been keeping inside as much as I can, the layers have been helping, it’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

He did not seem convinced. “We don’t have any clothes that’ll fit you. Hell, we don’t have warm enough clothes anyway. Shit. You should’ve told me.” His words were dripping with concern as the full implications of his mistake hit him. 

“Rygel,” you said, trying to cut through the worry and reassure him. “I’m fine, really, it’s not a big deal. I can stay inside for a season, god knows there’s more than enough fires and blankets in this place to keep me warm.”

“I should have realized. I forget how fragile your kind are, I should have seen this coming, gotten you some real clothes. As much as I love those dresses, we have to get you in some furs. ”

 “We are not fragile, you are just all far too sturdy. And besides, I like my dresses.”

“Mmhmm,” he hummed dismissively with a smile. “Sure we are. I really should have been more careful with you though. Your safety is more important than anything. I will keep you warm if it’s the last thing I do, even if we do have to cover up those pretty little dresses. Now, how will I ever manage to keep you warm until we can get you some better-suited clothes?”

You climbed onto his lap, ducking underneath his shirt, and pressed up close to him, absorbing his heat as you felt a chuckle run through his chest. “Maybe I shouldn’t get you warm clothes,” he said as a steady arm wrapped around you. “I think I prefer this.”

You hummed in agreement. “Plus it’s very dignified.”

His hand scooped under you, lifting you while keeping you close to him. “Very.”

You happily nuzzled further into his chest and he returned to his work, his arm still firmly wrapped around you. You were sure he’d find something for you, get you warmer clothes and make sure you were safe and warm and happy. His concern more than convinced you of that. 

And when all else failed, at least your husband ran hot.

[lincolndjarin]

Best Kept Secret

chapter one : honeymoon (RE-UPLOAD)

ao3 link ✿ series masterlist ✩ main masterlist ✧

A/N : i had to change accounts so this is a re-upload of my ongoing fic bks!!

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 6.7k

summary : you've been married off to a far away prince, turns out, he isn't your prince charming. however he did gift you a bodyguard as a wedding present.

warnings, etc. : arranged marriage, language

Absurd.

That is the only word that comes to mind as you stare at yourself in the mirror. “His favorite color is blue.” That’s what they had told you when they adorned you with the gaudy sapphire jewelry. “He’s going to love this.” That’s what they had told you as they pinned your hair into uncomfortable curls, braiding in unfamiliar flowers. They were horrendous, far too large and the smell of them nauseated you, or maybe that was just the nerves, who knows. If you were fortunate enough maybe you would discover a surprise allergy to the flowers and your throat would close and your face would turn blue. You wondered if the prince would like that.

Blue had once been a comforting color but not this blue. This blue was intense, harsh, hard to stare at for too long. Nothing like the blue that made you think of home. On the rare days where the snow stopped falling briefly and the sky was clear, Hoth was beautiful. The blue back home was quiet. The color of the sky seemed to swallow the snow and everything became one soft mix of periwinkle. This is not that. This is loud and garish.  

  The two girls who had been dressing you took a step back and smiled at you waiting for approval as you took in the sight of yourself in the floor length mirror. The dress itself was beautiful, if accompanied by tasteful accessories you might have actually found yourself almost nice to look at. A simple off the shoulder satin gown. On anyone else you were sure it would be absolutely stunning but it was so hot here, nobody had told you it would be this hot. The dress felt as though it was sticking to your skin, you hated the way it made you feel like you were trapped in some sort of fabric prison. But even with the thin sheen of sweat covering every inch of you it was the rest of the ensemble that made you look like you were supposed to be attending some sort of costume party, and not your own wedding. To say that the amount of accessories was excessive would be an understatement. Bracelets, bangles, arm bands, several tacky necklaces, even an anklet you couldn’t even see under the gown. All of the sapphires were so bright they seemed to glow, if you swayed your arms fast enough it almost mimicked the sight of hyperspace. The two ladies-in-waiting who had been assigned to you started to give each other nervous looks as you purse your lips silently taking in the ridiculous blue eyeshadow that adorned your otherwise unmade up face. The young Togruta girl speaks up first.

“Is everything to your liking ma’am?” 

No. You look like you should be working in a pleasure house, not marrying a prince.

But the anxiety in her voice is enough to soften your gaze as you speak what might be the first words to leave your mouth since you landed on Naboo. It seemed like everyone was comfortable speaking for you and you knew none of them cared what you had to say so why bother.

“You two have done a wonderful job… thank you.” You turned around to face them, giving them the warmest smile you could muster considering the circumstances. The relief on their faces as you spoke gave you more comfort than you’d had in days. “I am truly grateful to have such wonderful staff, thank you for making me feel so at home. I’m sorry I didn’t catch your names earlier?” 

“I am Elaine and this is Lysa.” The Togruta girl is the one who speaks up again, pointing to herself and then to the human girl. They both smiled as they turned you back towards the mirror and began to do last minute touch ups. You all stood in silence once more until Lysa spoke.

“You look so lovely, he is going to adore you.” She spoke softly, almost as if it was meant more for her own comfort than it was for yours as she straightened a flower in your hair.

He. That was how they referred to him. Nobody spoke of him other than to tell you how lucky you were, and how grateful you should be for this opportunity. No one described him to you in the slightest. No one even said his name, you were pretty sure it started with a “K.” Your betrothed was nothing more than a stranger. And as you stared at yourself in the mirror once more that was what you saw. A stranger. You didn’t recognize the woman in your reflection. She was not the young princess from Hoth, she was simply an item to entertain this “he.” Dolled up to be more appealing for a man she had never even met, adorned in his favorite color to make her more attractive to a man she had already decided she did not care for. 

“What is he like?” You cocked your head slightly as you deliberately observed the girls facial expressions for a reaction, you immediately regretted that decision because of the glance they gave each other. It was enough to make you not want to know the answer so you quickly stammer out another question. “What does he look like?” The Togruta girl clears her throat, you make a mental note that out of the two girls she seems to be the voice. 

“He is very handsome, my lady.” She straightens out your dress one last time and they both take a step back and observe you. “He dresses very well. Just like most of the royal family he has very defined features, striking blue eyes.”

“Oh yes my lady, he is very well known for his beautiful blue eyes.” The human girl smiles at you as she speaks nervously standing behind her partner now. A small part of you started to pray that his favorite color was not blue simply because that was the color of his eyes. They both seem to be struggling to come up with any other defining features of your intended which doesn’t exactly put you at ease. 

“He is also blonde.” Elaine chimes in with a reassuring smile as you watch your reflection frown.

You had always had a preference for brunettes. 

✩

He could be worse. 

That was what you had to keep reminding yourself as you sat now in the large dining hall, it seemed like everyone was laughing and chatting it up except for you. The seat to your left reserved for your husband was empty, you could see him in the crowd toasting with a group of men you assumed were cousins or brothers purely based on the physical similarities. Honestly you wouldn’t be able to tell your husband apart from the rest of them if he wasn’t wearing that horrendous electric blue suit. Your table at the back of the room, facing the rest of the hall, was empty. Save for you and Leodall. 

After your husband had so graciously run off after the ceremony to chat it up with his friends or whatever it was that was apparently much more important than you, you were walked to the reception by an orange Twi’lek who introduced himself as your personal servant, Leodall, Leo for short. No one seemed to even glance at you as they began to take to the dance floor. Of course your loving husband didn’t ask you to dance, why would he when he seemed to be taking the hand of a rather pretty red headed girl and wrapping his arms around her waist, laughing as they began to sway to the music. Prince Kodo Harand. That was his name, at least that is what the priest had said during the ceremony. He had given you a rather cocky “hello” once you had walked down the aisle, and he had kissed you with far more tongue than you would have liked, and now you sat alone. Princess Harand. Lucky you. And of course your family wasn’t here to keep you company, you don’t even think they were invited, why would they be? This wedding had nothing to do with you, it had everything to do with finding someone of royal descent to marry the prince of Naboo in exchange for trade deals. You wondered if there had ever been someone who felt as lonely as you did right now, at their own wedding. 

“Leo?” You turned to where he was standing directly behind you. He was also staring at the prince with a rather annoyed look on his face.

“Yes my lady?” He turned his gaze to you. He was far too serious for someone who only seemed to be a few years older than you were.

“I am getting rather tired, I should like to retire to my chambers.” 

You also should like to not watch my husband dance with some of the most gorgeous girls you’ve ever seen. Seems like he has found a rather attractive brunette now to keep him company on the dance floor. Leo looks to the prince and then back to you.

“It is rather early my lady… perhaps you could stay just a bit longer? It is after all your wedding.”

“Is it?” You couldn’t help but raise your eyebrows at him, gesturing to the empty chairs surrounding you. Before he could object you stood and began marching towards the exit. 

“My lady! Perhaps you might enjoy some refreshments! And perhaps you might reconsider your early departure!” Even in the gown you were more agile than him as you weaved through the crowds, waving off muttered “congratulations.” Once through the large doors of the great hall you felt as though you could finally breathe. The halls out here were dark, a few guards seemed to be passing around a flask but they immediately straightened up as they saw you, you pretended not to see them, hoping they might resume they’re drinking. After all, someone should have fun at your wedding. You lifted your skirt slightly and tried to remember where your room was as Leo finally caught up to you.

“Was it right or left…?” You stare down the nearly identical hallways as you hear two sets of footsteps approaching you.

“Wife! Where are you off to? I have a wedding present for you!” How fortunate that you married someone with such a distinct, nasally voice so you can plaster on a faux smile before you face him. You turned to see a disgruntled Leo following behind Kodo. Great. Your clearly drunk husband has a present for you on your wedding night. You have to physically resist rolling your eyes as he takes your hand and begins dragging you towards your chambers, Leo stumbling to keep up with you.

“Are you sure this cannot wait until tomorrow dear husband?” It’s unlikely he’ll want to put this off but there’s no shame in trying. 

“No no no… trust me you are going to love this…” 

Well he certainly is confident in his abilities.

He stumbles through the many confusing halls of the castle until arriving at your door, stopping just outside. He opens the door just a crack and peers inside before shutting it again, putting his hands on your shoulders, a big dopey grin on his face as he drunkenly slurs. 

“I must be getting back to the party my dear wife but your present is inside, I left you a little note on your vanity.” He leans forward and gives you a sloppy kiss, you do your best not to recoil.

“I’m sorry? I don’t quite understand?” You managed to pull him off you long enough to speak. But he’s already walking away.

“Do not fret, wife, you will love it. I will see you at dinner in a few days!” He yells over his shoulder before rushing back down to the party. You turn to stare at Leo who is just as shocked as you are as you can’t help but double over in laughter.

“Is he serious?” You’re laughing so hard you’re practically crying, Leo doesn’t seem to find the situation as funny as you do. You wipe a tear from your lash line as you straighten up. “If our marriage is anything like today has been I suppose it shall not be all that bad.” You manage to say through your laughter. He doesn’t speak, he simply opens the doors to your chambers for you, placing his hand on your back to usher you inside.

“I suppose I should not have expected any less of our prince.” Leo mutters as he closes the door behind the two of you he begins lighting the lamps around the dark room. “Shall I summon your ladies-in-waiting to help you undress my lady?” You open your mouth to answer but you’re stopped dead in your tracks as you stare at the suit of armor in the center of the room. The mannequin it appears to be resting on is rather tall. You can’t help but stare at the way the lamp light flickers against the Beskar. A Mandalorian statue? What an odd gift. You instinctively walk towards it as you mumble.

“That won’t be necessary… it is late, do not wake them, I can do it myself.” Leo looks as if he is about to protest but the note on the vanity catches his eye, he holds it between two fingers and begins to read it to himself as you stand directly in front of the armor now, your fingers raised to trace one of the gauntlets. “It certainly is a beautiful set of armor… I just don’t understand what exactly he wants me to do with it.” You run your hands across the chestplate, admiring the fine craftsmanship before you turn to face Leo, a concerned look on your face. 

This better not be a weird sex thing.

“He doesn’t expect me to wear it, does he? Is this some sort of weird fetish of his?” You find yourself looking back to the armor nervously. “It’s far too large for me… I think I would look rather foolish, like a child wearing her mothers clothing...” You bring a hand up to the helmet, a small shiver running down your spine as you stare into the lifeless visor. 

“Princess… perhaps you should wait a moment.” Leo stares at the note for a moment more before his mouth opens slightly to speak again as he gives you a warning look. But it is too late, you lift the helmet a fraction of an inch and let out a startled shriek as the armor shifts to grab both of your arms in one large hand, pulling your hand back down.

“Don’t.”

 The voice that comes from the modulator is low, it is gentle with you but is by no means joking as he releases his grip on your arm you stumble backwards. 

“Maker! You scared me half to death.” You bring your hand up to your chest as Leo rushes to your side to stabilize you, you stare at the Mandalorian in surprise for a moment before your gaze turns angry and you poke a finger into his chest. “What is your problem! Why didn’t you say something!?” He only shrugs in response.

“I was instructed not to speak to you until you read the note.” 

Bastard. 

Leo leans forward to whisper to you.

“It should appear that the prince has hired the Mandalorian to be your personal bodyguard, my lady.” Leo’s voice shakes as he stares up at the intimidating silhouette of the armored man but you are not so easily swayed, clearing your throat as you speak.

“You are dismissed Leo.” Your eyes never leave the steel visor.

“My lady, are you sure it is wise-”

“If my husband deems him fit to protect me then he is fit to protect me. Unless of course you are questioning the prince’s judgment?” You turn to glare at the Twi’lek who is now nervously tugging at the sleeves of his shirt. He does nothing but stare back at you for what feels like minutes until he finally sighs and makes a beeline for the door.

“As you wish, my lady. Ring for me if you require anything.” He closes the door and you turn back to the Mandalorian, who unsurprisingly hasn’t moved an inch, other than the way his helmet seems to shake ever so slightly but you ignore it as you walk over to your vanity, crumpling up the note and tossing it in the bin before starting to remove your jewelry, setting the ugly pieces onto the table.

“So what exactly is your job?” You don’t give him the courtesy of facing him, not after he scared you like that. 

“It was all written in the note.” 

It’s annoying how unbothered he sounds. You take off the last piece of jewelry, lifting your skirt and raising your leg to rest your foot on the ottoman to unclasp the anklet, you swear you see his helmet tilt in your direction in the mirror, but when you turn to face him he is in the same position, staring at the wall.

“I don’t care about the note. I want to hear it from you.” You fetch yourself a nightgown as you step behind the screen next to the vanity, carefully slipping out of the dress, out of sight of the Mandalorian.

“My job is to make sure you are not harmed.” He speaks so quietly you’re surprised the modulator even picks up his voice. Once dressed you step out from behind the screen and take a seat at the vanities mirror, wearing a gray silk nightgown. It’s fancier than what you’d usually wear but it doesn’t seem like they bothered to unpack any of your clothes you brought from home. You silently pray that they didn’t throw them away.

“So you just… follow me around?” You can feel the frown forming as you begin to carefully remove the now wilting flowers from your hair.

“Yes.” 

Not much of a talker this guy.

“Actually I’m good.” Your voice is snippy and you know you’re being a bit blunt but you’ve had a rough day. Finally, he deliberately moves, his head turning to watch as you undo the pin curls, your hair falling down in waves as you do.

“Excuse me?” Finally, some sign of emotion. Even if it is a twinge of anger.

“Can you not hear through the helmet? I’m good. I’ve already got an ensemble of people trailing me. I don’t need another.” You rifle through the drawers until you find a rag to wipe the makeup from your eyes before turning around to stare at him. “You’re dismissed.” 

“You don’t have the authority to dismiss me.” His voice is tense, if you could see his face you were sure he’d be scowling. It’s good to know he is capable of emotion. Even better to know it isn’t difficult to rile him up.

“I don’t know if you know this but I just married the eldest son of the king and queen. That makes me the future queen, I’m pretty sure I have the authority to do whatever I please.” You hadn’t said those words aloud until now, you hadn’t even thought them. It lifted a weight off your shoulders, somehow it made things a bit easier, to know that despite this entire situation you found yourself in that at the very least you found yourself in a position of power.

“I don’t know if you know this, but I have direct orders from the eldest son of the king and queen to not let you out of my site from the moment you leave this room until you return to it.” He mocks your tone exactly as he crosses his arms.

Shit. He’s got you there. Did Kodo have to pick this man to guard you?

“Well… I’m in this room now. So I don’t require your presence. You may go.” You wish you could come up with something more witty but you're tired, you just want to be alone, to have a single moment to try and process what a whirlwind these last few days have been. You swear you hear an annoyed huff come through his modulator. 

“I’ll see you in the morning.” His voice is sharp and he speaks with a finality that makes you want to argue further.

But he doesn’t give you time to respond. He simply leaves. Once he is gone you rush to the door to lock it and begin to dim all the lamps in the room. In the pale light you stare at the comically large bed and your stomach drops. For the first time since arriving on Naboo you feel cold. The idea of spending your wedding night in such a big bed alone makes you feel sick. Were the ceilings of this room always so high? You find yourself opening the closet. It’s the size of your room back home, it’s perfect. All of the fabric of the unfamiliar clothes that were now yours made it quiet, and soft, and warm. You grabbed a lamp from one of the many small tables around the room, (who needs this many tables?) and bring it to the closet, closing the door behind you as you rummage through the many drawers until you find one full of blankets and pillows, making yourself a nest before settling down in it. It was just as comfortable as your bed back home and you wrapped yourself around one of the larger pillows.

You wanted to cry. 

You should be crying but you're not. You’re just staring at the flickering lamp. There were a million things you could think about to make yourself cry but at this point it wasn’t even worth it. You’re tired, and there will be plenty of time for crying later, after all this was your life now. So instead you closed your eyes and pretended you weren’t here at all, that you were back home, and you weren’t completely alone, your many siblings were just down the hall in their respective rooms. But they aren’t, they’re back on Hoth. You’re on Naboo. They are all still together. 

And you are alone.

✩

He won’t leave you alone. 

It’s been ten days since the wedding but it feels like ten months. And the Mandalorian will not leave you alone. You have only seen your husband twice since the wedding, short dinners the night of every fifth cycle, last night he had told you that he saw no need to produce an heir until his father died.

How romantic.

But as much as you yearn for companionship you cannot help but be grateful that he has not ever joined you in bed. He doesn’t repulse you by any means but he just seems… indifferent. Like he couldn't care less for you, which is fine considering you aren’t exactly infatuated with him. But you’re lonely nonetheless. Conversations with your husband are one sided, once you realize he doesn’t care for anything that comes out of your mouth your dinners become much less awkward, he would ramble on about anything he found interesting for an hour and then leave. You heard a servant in passing whisper something about him going to a brothel after your second dinner. You wanted to be more upset about that but you just couldn’t find it in yourself to care. As long as it kept him out of your chambers. 

Elaine and Lysa are sweet but they are clearly intimidated by you, or at the very least they are afraid of upsetting you. So you’ve found that it’s best to just not talk to them at all unless it is to praise them or thank them. They show up like clockwork every morning to dress you and in the evening to undress you. You’re starting to feel like a doll. But they do not comment on the makeshift bed in the closet so you decide they are your favorites. Leo on the other hand has made it quite clear he doesn’t approve of your sleeping situation, you don’t bother trying to explain yourself because you know he won’t care, so now you let him watch you get under the covers of your ornate bed every night before you retreat to the closet. He can be a bit uptight and he’s terrible at conversation but the best thing about Leo is that he doesn’t hover. You honestly don’t know where he runs off to but he’s always there when you need him and he doesn’t overstay his welcome. 

Speaking of overstaying his welcome, you can see the Mandalorian over the top of the book you are currently pretending to read. 

He has become your least favorite person in your new life. He is ranked even lower than Kodo. You were currently dedicating your life to exploring every inch of the castle and mapping it out, you had taken to carrying around a small journal and noting locations you liked and places to avoid. This might be an enjoyable challenge if it weren’t for the walking hunk of metal that seemed to always be standing just out of arm's reach from you. It’s infuriating the way he always stands in your peripherals, you are always aware of his presence even when you are doing everything in your power to ignore him. 

Neither of you had spoken much since your first meeting. He had been rude, why would you speak to him? (Of course you had been rude as well but that's besides the point.) He waits outside your door every morning, and he is there when you return at night. Two days ago you had daydreamed about escaping out the window to avoid him, but considering your chambers were on the fourth floor you decided against it. 

A few days ago was when you had reached your boiling point. He had to sleep eventually, that was what you had told yourself as you opened the door to your chambers at 3 a.m. Under all that metal he was still just a person. (Or at least you were pretty sure he was.) So you donned a robe and a glowrod as you slipped into the hall. For the first time he wasn’t standing there. You just had to find your way to the library, you wanted a few books and you didn’t want to feel his steel gaze judging your every choice, you wanted something cheesy and romantic, something you could read in the closet when you couldn’t sleep. (Which was most nights.) Everytime he followed you into the library you found yourself too nervous to read so now was your chance. Surprisingly it only took you a few minutes to find it. Creeping inside you managed to find five books, clutching them in your arms you stepped back out in the hall and as you closed the library doors as quietly and quickly as you could you turned around and slammed into metal, stumbling backwards and landing on your ass, your books going everywhere. 

“Gods…” You groaned in pain as the back of your head knocked against the door, your eyes adjusted to the darkness as the glowrod illuminated a familiar pair of boots. “You are just- the nerve of you- I can’t even begin to-” Your mind stuttered through a million different insults but eventually you just gave up, huffing angrily as you picked up the light, he reached down to help you up and you shoved his gloved hands away. Leaving the books, you storm off, back towards what you hope is the direction of your room. He didn’t speak as he followed silently behind you, the only indication that he was still there was the reflection of the dim light against Beskar. You looked down two hallways trying fruitlessly to remember which way to go.

“Left.” 

Maker, he didn’t even sound tired. If looks could kill the glare you gave him as you turned left would have him six feet under. As you finally see the doors to your chamber you sigh in relief, just wanting to forget about this silly attempt to have a moment of normalcy. 

“I knew that.” Is all you can manage to mutter, still fuming to the point that you know you can’t form witty insults as you open your chamber doors.

“Sure you did.” 

As you turn to give him a piece of your mind you find yourself in the dark corridor alone. Oh you hate him. This is why he is your least favorite.

You don’t know much about Mandalorians, your mother had always said they were dangerous but that was all that was ever said about the topic. He doesn’t seem all that threatening. Sure he’s tall, and his shoulders were ludicrously broad, and he wore impenetrable armor but you’ve been sitting here staring at him for two hours now and honestly you were pretty sure at this point that you could beat him in a fight.  

Okay you might be starting to lose it. 

You haven’t had a real conversation with anyone since your wedding night, it’s not your fault if you’re starting to feel a little scatterbrained. Maybe you could push him out a window. That armor certainly wouldn’t save him from a fall. That might be too risky, with your luck you’ll end up going out the window with him. As you begin to ponder if Beskar is fireproof a familiar modulated voice breaks the silence causing you to drop your book in shock.

“Don’t.” 

In your fantasies of knocking a candle over onto his cape you hadn’t realized his helmet was facing you now.

“You really seem to love that word.” You cock an eyebrow at him. “You also seem to love scaring unsuspecting girls.” You mumble. 

“I heard that.” 

Stupid helmet with its stupid abilities. You really need to start keeping a list of what that thing is capable of. Maybe the helmet is what makes his stupid voice so deep.

“Of course you did.” You lean back in your chair as you look him up and down. “What exactly is it that you don’t want me doing?” 

“Don’t act like you can outsmart me.” 

Wiseass. 

“I wasn’t doing that, I don’t know if you can see through that visor of yours but I was reading.” You scoff at him as you cross your arms.You hear him hum softly through the modulator as he walks in your direction, standing between you and the book on the floor.

“What were you reading?” 

Dank Farrik.

You’re pretty sure you can see his shit-eating grin through the Beskar. 

“I’m not even going to humor the accusation you’re getting at.” For a split second you swear you catch the start of a laugh before his modulator cuts it off. Soundproof, you can add that to the list. He leans up against a bookshelf as he stares down at you now.

“Maybe it was another romance novel?” Maker, he's the worst. You fight back the pink that threatens to tint your face as you play dumb.

“I’m sorry?”

“Don’t be.” You wondered if you could have him beheaded. Do they do public executions on Naboo?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about..” Is all you can manage to spit out as you reach to a nearby shelf and grab the first book your fingers touch, it looks to be some sort of architecture guide. Better than nothing. “Leave me be, I’m trying to read.” You open the book quickly and as your eyes glance across the pages, much to your dismay, you don’t recognize the language it’s in, he doesn’t need to know that though.

“You left some books out a few nights ago.”

You try to hide the way your breath hitches. There’s no way he went back for them. Unless he did. Why would he do that though there would be no reason. Why is your heart racing like you’re on trial? Why can’t you stop the pink that tinges the tips of your ears?

“I read a lot of books, you can’t possibly expect me to remember every one.” You turn a page and continue scanning your eyes across the unfamiliar text. 

“The Smitten Paladin… My Barbarian Love… Interstellar Bride… The Tongues of-”

“SHUT UP.” You slam the book shut and you can’t fight the rose tint that fills your face now. 

“As you wish, princess.” 

Oh you were definitely gonna kill him now. How hard would it be to get your hands on a vibroblade…? You didn’t speak now, you couldn’t even look at him. There’s no way he had seen those that night when you dropped them, the bastard went back for them. If you could find out where is quarters were maybe you could smother him in his sleep. You assumed he would resume his mockery of you but he never did, he just stared for several minutes as you returned to your book, doing your best to pretend that you knew what it was about until he finally broke the silence. 

“So how were you thinking of doing it?” 

“Doing what?”

“Outsmarting me. Or escaping me, or killing me? Whichever one it was you were plotting.”

You wonder if he was sweating under all those layers as you allowed yourself the first indulgence of really taking him in. He wears heavy black fabric under all of his armor. You wore light and flowy dresses and you always felt like it was too hot. You also can’t stop yourself from wondering if he purposefully makes his voice lower, he must scream into a pillow or something to make it that raspy. You didn’t like how warm it suddenly got in here. This stupid planet and its stupid heat. 

“Well I can’t just tell you my top secret plans, what will you give me in exchange?” You hated the way his helmet tilted to the side to mimic you. 

“How about a walk through the gardens?” 

“We have gardens?” Your eyebrows furrow in disbelief, just when you thought you were starting to map this place out… He nods and you ponder it for a moment before holding your hand out for a handshake. “Deal.” He takes your hand in his and gives you one firm shake but you hold him there and stare at his hand. “Your gloves are stupid, why are the fingers yellow?” He groans as he pulls away.

As he pulls his hand back you catch a glimpse of his bare wrist. You hadn’t really thought about what he might look like under the armor up until now. You’re sort of surprised by how tan his skin is. As you stare for what is definitely too long he clears his throat and you find yourself face to face with his visor. 

Shit, shit shit. 

“Sorry, I got distracted by how stupid your gloves are.”

“Keep talking like that and I won’t take you to the gardens at all.”

“That’s fine, now that I know they exist I’ll just find them on my own.” You stand up, making your way towards the library exit.

“You do realize I follow you everywhere right?” 

“You’re very observative aren’t you?” You scoff.

“You won’t find them on your own. You’ve lived here two weeks and you still can’t find your room without help from Leo.” 

“This is why you’re my least favorite.”

“What?” He doesn’t even pretend to sound hurt, his voice is filled with genuine curiosity and for a fleeting moment you want to give in because for the first time in weeks you aren’t thinking about how alone you are in a castle surrounded by people. Because for the first time since you arrived on this planet you were having a real conversation, and even though you hated him he was the first person who seemed like he actually cared about what you had to say, and not just because you were royalty and it was his job.

“Do you want to hear about my secret plans or not?” You decide to change the subject and watch as for the first time, he walks next to you, not behind you, as he nods.

“I’d love to know how you plan on getting away from a trained bounty hunter.” 

Bounty hunter. You’ll have to ask him about that later if he allows you to keep talking to him. A small part of you hopes that he will. 

“I thought I might start by pushing you off of something high up.” You grin at him. You can’t remember the last time you smiled and it wasn’t for the benefit of others.

“Wouldn’t work.”

“Oh come on, your armor isn’t gonna save you from a fall from one of the castle towers-” He pulls back his cape to reveal a jetpack and you shut up. “Okay new plan, I throw your pack off the roof first.” He nods.

“You would never be able to get it off me but sure. Next plan.” Maker, you hate how smug he is. You want to slap the stupid smile you have to assume he is currently donning off of his face. 

“Well I really only had two plans, plan number two was to light your cape on fire.” 

“Fire’s not gonna kill me, that's just gonna make me angry.”

“Well in that situation I wouldn't be trying to kill you, the fire would be a distraction as I make my escape.”

“There is not a single situation in this world in which you are capable of hiding from me.” 

Why does he have to say it so huskily? Why does it suddenly feel so hot in this stupid castle? You decide he deliberately makes his voice sound deeper to make himself more intimidating. 

You open your mouth to protest but you remember the bounty hunter thing and decide to save yourself from any more embarrassment. He stops walking and you stare at the familiar doors to your chambers.

“Hey! You promised me gardens!” He opens the door for you before taking a step back.

“It’s too late for gardens. We’ll go tomorrow.” You want to argue, you want to do anything to keep talking to him, even if you loathe him and his terrible attitude. But you don’t want to ruin this, and a part of you likes the prospect of more conversation tomorrow. 

“Promise?” You hate how eager you sound.

“Promise.”

You begin to step inside your chambers but he puts a hand on your shoulder. It makes you let out a small gasp as you turn to face him.

“Before you go I have to tell you something, princess.” The voice that comes from the modulator is hushed, he leans in as if he is going to tell you a secret and your eyes get wide, you can see your reflection in his helmet, your face is going pink again.

“W-what…?” It’s embarrassing the way you stutter but he’s so close now that you can’t help it, if he got any closer your breath would fog up the Beskar. You had no idea what he was about to say but for some reason your heart was beating out of your chest. God what is wrong with you today? The heat must be messing with your head.

“It was in Galactic Basic.” 

Well now he just wasn’t making any sense. Maybe the heat was messing with his head too.

“I don’t care for riddles.” 

“Your book, earlier, the one about architecture. The one that you couldn’t understand.” He takes a step back and you furrow your brows, how the hell did he know you didn’t understand it, but more importantly, obviously you spoke Galactic Basic.

“I didn’t realize you were capable of telling jokes.”

“You were holding it upside down.” His hand drops from your shoulder and he takes a step back, waiting for a response but any snarky comeback dies on your tongue as your face burns up, realizing he’s right. Is he leaning forward in anticipation? 

Scumbag.

“Good night, Mando.” As you start to close the door you can hear him chuckling. 

“Good night, princess.”  

Jackass. You hope that he’s ugly under the helmet. 

You also hope he’s brunette.

I am no longer doing taglists so follow @lincolndjarinnotifs and turn on notifications to be notified when new chapters are posted !!

[peachesofteal]

Who wants to read the first like 1.4k of the winter ghoap fic even though it has absolutely no ghoap in it?

Winter in the mountains can be cruel. 

This is something you’ve always known, even as a child. You were raised with it. Chose to return to it after school, decided to make a go of it, of a life here, as an adult. You knew what you were getting yourself into, long cold winters that felt both bleak and promising, unblemished blankets of snow possessing the ability to be stunning, while also lethal. Winters were dangerous, silent killers that left corpses in their wake and no amount of lupine or paintbrushes, glacier fed lakes or springtime moose calves could make up for the hell that winter wrought. Winter brings most living things to the knife’s edge of survival, forcing most to bow beneath the weight of its fury, backs breaking with the burden of just existing in a below freezing environment. 

Although, there are some who do more than survive the cold, violent stretch of winter. There are predators who thrive. 

“You closin’?” Your coworker, the new one, asks from where she’s settled across the dark wood bar, two amber Budweiser bottles empty in front her idle hands, eyes wandering to guys posted up by the loneliest pool table in fifty square miles. 

“I am.” She casts the one window in the entire place a surreptitious glance, fingers peeling away at a label. It’s snowing, has been for hours, flakes fat and wet, fluffy enough that the density of the snow on the ground is light, but dangerous, as it hides the real risk underneath; packed snow sitting with a slick sheen of ice on top. 

“You still trying to make it over Fall River pass tonight?” You nod. 

“Yeah. Supposed to see my brother and his new baby this weekend.” 

“Fall River? Is that even open right now?” Andy, a regular who lives a few streets over from you, chimes in, twisting an empty rocks glass in his fist. You pull the bottle of Jameson from the rail and tip it vertical, honey brown liquid sloshing like a wave until his glass is halfway full, and he gives you a flirty kind of smile, the same one he’s been giving you for a year now. Yeeesh.

“It is. I could go around, but it just takes too long. And it’s Friday. I’m not trying to be stuck on the highway with ski traffic and the tourists in their rental cars.” You complain, and they both commiserate your opinion. Weekend traffic is brutal, especially in the winter. Driving in hazardous conditions is considered to be a talent more than an innate ability here, and people often overestimate their aptitude for it, causing crashes and delays that get the highway shut down for hours, or even days, at times. You shrug. “I’ve had my snow tires on for weeks. Might as well get some use out of them.” Andy snorts. 

“Like you haven’t been gettin’ good use out of them? First real snow was before Halloween this year.” You nod. He’s not wrong. You did get dumped on two weeks before the end of October, twenty-three inches piling up within two days, before half the area was even ready for it. You throw him a polite smile, one that you hope reads like ‘okay thanks for the concern, we’re done now’ and he sighs. “Well, drive safe.” 

Fall River pass, it turns out, is not open. It’s closed by the time you split off from the interstate and start the windy, switch-backed trek in your jeep, flashing orange and yellow lights dotting the top of a barricade just barely visible through the speckled snow flying by in your headlights. 

Fuck. You could have sworn the DOT website said it was open. You take a deep breath, quelling the anxiety that roils your stomach. Okay. Not the end of the world. There’s another road. A less maintained road, but… you’ll be fine. You’ve driven in worse. 

The other road, a sharp, narrow, desolate path that cuts through a large swath of unmanaged forest just outside the national park, is easy at first. You’ve been driving the same jeep for years, a 2007 two door Wrangler, and you know how it handles like the back of your hand. With snow tires, it could pretty much cut through anything, even unplowed, fire watch roads like this one. 

Which is why, after the first few miles, your nerves fully settle, and you allow yourself to relax a little bit behind the wheel, easing the jeep across the dips and slicks in the road as you cautiously build speed, snow falling fast through night, growing thicker the higher you travel into wilderness territory, and the farther you left modern civilization behind. 

An hour creeps by, and then two. Long enough that you’ve now realized you’re the only one using this road, fresh snow blanketing the woods around you, topography and vegetation starting to change as you encroach on what you assume must be eleven thousand feet. You’ve seen this road on google maps once, or twice maybe, having noted it for future travel just in case of a situation like this. It travels perpendicular to Fall River, and eventually meets another, one that must be similar, on the other side of the range. The secondary road is one that takes you along the ridge, and then down, you’re pretty sure, although you can’t be one hundred percent certain, because you lost cell reception before you even turned off from Fall River.

Still, won’t hurt to check and see if you have this area downloaded. 

You pull your phone from the center console, thumbing at the screen, allowing your eyes to linger too long without looking back up through the windshield. No one else is out here. It’s not like you need to worry about oncoming traffic. The little SOS insignia blinks at the top corner, and you tap on the map icon, hoping it will bring up your geo location so you can glance at the satellite map of the area. 

You’re so fixated watching the little circle of death try to load, that by the time you look up and see the tree laying across the road, it’s far too late. You do the first thing you were always taught not to do in winter conditions, and slam on the brake, slamming the pedal to floor, heart rate sky rocketing as you panic and lose total control of the jeep. You spin, shoulders and chest jamming against the seatbelt, headlights flashing off into the woods, illuminating an endlessly dark web of trees, bark and branch scratching across the paint as you careen off the road, tipping too precariously onto two wheels and then rolling. 

Time, your life, stands completely still for a moment. You see every individual fiber of the pine needles, every uniquely designed snowflake, every single droplet of blood that floats away from your face and through midair as you crash through the forest, your grasp on consciousness slipping farther and farther away as you’re jostled around, the jeep finally coming to a stop on its side, your head cracked against the driver’s window, stars and lights spawning out across your vision, headlights finally blinking out completely, leaving you in the dark. Your head spins like you’re still rolling, and the only sound in the dead silent snow is your harsh breathing, frantic terror bubbling up through your throat as pain surges through your body. 

It's freezing, but you feel surprisingly warm. 

You’re going to die out here. No one knows you took this road, you don’t have service, by the time they find you, it’ll be too late. You’ll be a bled out, frozen corpse, long gone and- 

You lose your train of thought quickly. Everything starts to fracture, fissures forming in your consciousness, part of you already losing the battle to the inevitable, black pulling over your eyes like a knit hat, lungs heaving just a little harder with each breath. 

Sleep. You could just close your eyes. Close your eyes, and sleep. 

Light sweeps across the ground, flashing across your face. You think, if you were truly with it, in your right mind, you’d think it was too bright. You’d say it was blinding. 

But you can’t formulate anything of the sort, mind too busy slipping away, falling into an inky black pool, just barely on the verge when you feel a gloved hand on your skin, the lilt of an accent on the wind. 

Sleep. 

[joeshiestyslover]

christmas (baby please come home)

pairing: joe burrow x reader

summary: on the way home from the patriots game, joe and the team have flight troubles and might not make it home in time for christmas

warnings: language, a little bit of suggestive content

a/n: i wanted to get a christmas fic out before the new year so here you go.

joe was so excited to be finally heading home from the patriots game. after the near loss, joe was on the plane and going home to his favorite person, you. joe smiles to himself as he thinks about you most likely being in the kitchen making a large amount of desserts for just you two.

and he was right. you are currently in the kitchen of yours’ and joe’s shared home frosting sugar cookies while singing along to your christmas playlist. you couldn’t count the amount of time you’ve been in your kitchen even if you tried. like joe, you were excited for him to come home from the game. you opted to stay home so you would be able to get everything ready for tomorrow.

on the plane, the pilot announces that there are troubles with the plane’s engine and they need to make an emergency landing. “fuck.” joe says. if he isn’t able to make it home to you for christmas, he will lose it. once they land, joe asks the pilots when they can get a flight. “i don’t know, son.” one of the pilots says. “it could be in a few hours, or it could be tomorrow. i’m sorry.” the other one tells joe.

joe runs a hand through his hair, and ja’marr notices his stressed out state. “you good joe?” ja’marr asks him. “what am i gonna tell y/n? we’ve both been looking forward to this for so long, and i have no idea how to break it to her that i might not be home for christmas.” joe tells him worriedly. “just call her and tell her man. i know y/n too, and i’m sure she’ll understand.” ja’marr reassures. “yeah you’re right ja’marr, thanks.” “no problem joe, and tell y/n i said hello.” joe just nods and pulls out his phone to call you.

as you’re adding the finishing touches to the cookies, your phone rings. you wipe off your hands and pick it up, smiling when you notice it’s joe calling. “hi joey.” you say. “hey y/n.” you immediately notice something’s up with him because he almost never calls you y/n. “what’s wrong?” you ask him becoming slightly worried. “listen i’m so sorry but the plane had engine troubles, so we had to make an emergency landing. we don’t know when we’ll be able to get a flight back to cincinnati, so i might not make it back in time for christmas. i’m so sorry honey.” you want to cry, but you don’t, knowing it’s not joe’s fault. you take a deep breath and reply, “it’s okay joe, it’s not your fault. just be safe and i’ll see you soon, okay?” “yeah okay. thank you for understanding baby. i love you so much.” “i love you too joey.” he hangs up the phone and you look down at your beautifully frosted cookies. you now have a sour feeling in your stomach because he might not be able to even eat them anymore. he might make it back in time, you think. there’s still a chance.

you continue finishing up the cookies, and as you are doing so, your favorite christmas song starts to play.

(christmas) the snow’s coming down

(christmas) i’m watching it fall

(christmas) lots of people around

(christmas) baby, please come home

you chuckle a little bit, thinking about how this song fits perfectly with your current situation with joe. you start to sing along softly as you finish the cookies and start to clean up.

they’re singing deck the halls

but it’s not like christmas at all

‘cause i remember when you were here

and all the fun we had last year (christmas)

once you’re done cleaning up the kitchen, you remember you still have to wrap joe’s presents. you walk into your closet and grab his presents that are hidden away under your clothes and shoes. you set everything on your coffee table and get to work.

after wrapping joe’s first present, you look up at your christmas tree, remembering when joe helped you decorate it and even lifted you up so you could put the star on top.

pretty lights on the tree (christmas)

i’m watching them shine (christmas)

you should be here with me (christmas)

baby, please come home

before you can stop it, you feel a tear roll down your cheek. you quickly wipe it away and shake your head. “there’s still a chance that he’ll be here in time.” you say to yourself. you begin to wrap joe’s next present, a pair of spongebob shoes you had custom designed for him. your brain quickly goes into overdrive as you’re wrapping, and you’re able to forget about joe for a little bit.

you don’t know how long it took, but you were finally done wrapping presents. you put the tags on all of them and set them under the christmas tree.

you quickly clean up your makeshift wrapping station and sit back down on the couch. you order food from uber eats and turn on national lampoon’s christmas vacation, your favorite christmas movie. you can’t help but think about how joe should be sitting next to you, laughing with you.

you had hope a little while after he first called, but now all your hope has completely dissipated. but you can always celebrate the day after right? it wouldn’t be the same, you think. all you want is to spend the perfect christmas with your perfect boyfriend eating a much larger amount of food than either of you should be eating.

your food arrives, so you pause your movie and head to the front door to meet the delivery driver. you open the door, but when you open it you’re greeted with a “merry christmas eve baby.” you immediately freeze. “joe? i thought you weren’t gonna be able to make it.” you tell him unable to contain your smile. “well, i was able to catch a flight a couple hours ago, but i decided not to tell you so i could surprise you. as i was pulling up i noticed the delivery guy walking up to the door, so i paid him to give me the food.” he says proudly as he holds your dinner out to you. you laugh and take the food out of his hands. you set it down and immediately jump into his arms.

“i’m so happy you’re home. i didn’t wanna celebrate christmas without you.” you tell him on the verge of tears. “me neither honey. but i’m here now, so we can celebrate christmas the right way.” he pulls back and looks at you with such love and adoration. you both lean into each other and share a sweet kiss. as you pull away, you lead him into the house and grab your food. when you bend down you feel joe give your ass a quick slap. you stand back up and give him a look. “what?” he asks. “i haven’t seen you since yesterday and i missed you.” he says defensively. “did you miss me or my ass?” you ask sarcastically. “both?” he replies jokingly. you just smile at him and grab his hand so you can sit on the couch together. “what are we watching?” “christmas vacation.” you tell him. “yes!” he whispers.

yeah, this christmas is gonna be perfect.

[luckbealincoln]

Best Kept Secret

chapter one : honeymoon

THIS SERIES HAS BEEN MOVED AND RE-UPLOADED TO ANOTHER ACCOUNT. WHICH CAN BE FOUND HERE. THIS POST STILL EXISTS AS AN ARCHIVE BUT THIS ACCOUNT IS NO LONGER ACTIVE!!

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 6.7k

summary : you've been married off to a far away prince, turns out, he isn't your prince charming. however he did gift you a bodyguard as a wedding present.

warnings, etc. : arranged marriage, language

Absurd.

That is the only word that comes to mind as you stare at yourself in the mirror. “His favorite color is blue.” That’s what they had told you when they adorned you with the gaudy sapphire jewelry. “He’s going to love this.” That’s what they had told you as they pinned your hair into uncomfortable curls, braiding in unfamiliar flowers. They were horrendous, far too large and the smell of them nauseated you, or maybe that was just the nerves, who knows. If you were fortunate enough maybe you would discover a surprise allergy to the flowers and your throat would close and your face would turn blue. You wondered if the prince would like that.

Blue had once been a comforting color but not this blue. This blue was intense, harsh, hard to stare at for too long. Nothing like the blue that made you think of home. On the rare days where the snow stopped falling briefly and the sky was clear, Hoth was beautiful. The blue back home was quiet. The color of the sky seemed to swallow the snow and everything became one soft mix of periwinkle. This is not that. This is loud and garish.  

  The two girls who had been dressing you took a step back and smiled at you waiting for approval as you took in the sight of yourself in the floor length mirror. The dress itself was beautiful, if accompanied by tasteful accessories you might have actually found yourself almost nice to look at. A simple off the shoulder satin gown. On anyone else you were sure it would be absolutely stunning but it was so hot here, nobody had told you it would be this hot. The dress felt as though it was sticking to your skin, you hated the way it made you feel like you were trapped in some sort of fabric prison. But even with the thin sheen of sweat covering every inch of you it was the rest of the ensemble that made you look like you were supposed to be attending some sort of costume party, and not your own wedding. To say that the amount of accessories was excessive would be an understatement. Bracelets, bangles, arm bands, several tacky necklaces, even an anklet you couldn’t even see under the gown. All of the sapphires were so bright they seemed to glow, if you swayed your arms fast enough it almost mimicked the sight of hyperspace. The two ladies-in-waiting who had been assigned to you started to give each other nervous looks as you purse your lips silently taking in the ridiculous blue eyeshadow that adorned your otherwise unmade up face. The young Togruta girl speaks up first.

“Is everything to your liking ma’am?” 

No. You look like you should be working in a pleasure house, not marrying a prince.

But the anxiety in her voice is enough to soften your gaze as you speak what might be the first words to leave your mouth since you landed on Naboo. It seemed like everyone was comfortable speaking for you and you knew none of them cared what you had to say so why bother.

“You two have done a wonderful job… thank you.” You turned around to face them, giving them the warmest smile you could muster considering the circumstances. The relief on their faces as you spoke gave you more comfort than you’d had in days. “I am truly grateful to have such wonderful staff, thank you for making me feel so at home. I’m sorry I didn’t catch your names earlier?” 

“I am Elaine and this is Lysa.” The Togruta girl is the one who speaks up again, pointing to herself and then to the human girl. They both smiled as they turned you back towards the mirror and began to do last minute touch ups. You all stood in silence once more until Lysa spoke.

“You look so lovely, he is going to adore you.” She spoke softly, almost as if it was meant more for her own comfort than it was for yours as she straightened a flower in your hair.

He. That was how they referred to him. Nobody spoke of him other than to tell you how lucky you were, and how grateful you should be for this opportunity. No one described him to you in the slightest. No one even said his name, you were pretty sure it started with a “K.” Your betrothed was nothing more than a stranger. And as you stared at yourself in the mirror once more that was what you saw. A stranger. You didn’t recognize the woman in your reflection. She was not the young princess from Hoth, she was simply an item to entertain this “he.” Dolled up to be more appealing for a man she had never even met, adorned in his favorite color to make her more attractive to a man she had already decided she did not care for. 

“What is he like?” You cocked your head slightly as you deliberately observed the girls facial expressions for a reaction, you immediately regretted that decision because of the glance they gave each other. It was enough to make you not want to know the answer so you quickly stammer out another question. “What does he look like?” The Togruta girl clears her throat, you make a mental note that out of the two girls she seems to be the voice. 

“He is very handsome, my lady.” She straightens out your dress one last time and they both take a step back and observe you. “He dresses very well. Just like most of the royal family he has very defined features, striking blue eyes.”

“Oh yes my lady, he is very well known for his beautiful blue eyes.” The human girl smiles at you as she speaks nervously standing behind her partner now. A small part of you started to pray that his favorite color was not blue simply because that was the color of his eyes. They both seem to be struggling to come up with any other defining features of your intended which doesn’t exactly put you at ease. 

“He is also blonde.” Elaine chimes in with a reassuring smile as you watch your reflection frown.

You had always had a preference for brunettes.  ✩

He could be worse. 

That was what you had to keep reminding yourself as you sat now in the large dining hall, it seemed like everyone was laughing and chatting it up except for you. The seat to your left reserved for your husband was empty, you could see him in the crowd toasting with a group of men you assumed were cousins or brothers purely based on the physical similarities. Honestly you wouldn’t be able to tell your husband apart from the rest of them if he wasn’t wearing that horrendous electric blue suit. Your table at the back of the room, facing the rest of the hall, was empty. Save for you and Leodall. 

After your husband had so graciously run off after the ceremony to chat it up with his friends or whatever it was that was apparently much more important than you, you were walked to the reception by an orange Twi’lek who introduced himself as your personal servant, Leodall, Leo for short. No one seemed to even glance at you as they began to take to the dance floor. Of course your loving husband didn’t ask you to dance, why would he when he seemed to be taking the hand of a rather pretty red headed girl and wrapping his arms around her waist, laughing as they began to sway to the music. Prince Kodo Harand. That was his name, at least that is what the priest had said during the ceremony. He had given you a rather cocky “hello” once you had walked down the aisle, and he had kissed you with far more tongue than you would have liked, and now you sat alone. Princess Harand. Lucky you. And of course your family wasn’t here to keep you company, you don’t even think they were invited, why would they be? This wedding had nothing to do with you, it had everything to do with finding someone of royal descent to marry the prince of Naboo in exchange for trade deals. You wondered if there had ever been someone who felt as lonely as you did right now, at their own wedding. 

“Leo?” You turned to where he was standing directly behind you. He was also staring at the prince with a rather annoyed look on his face.

“Yes my lady?” He turned his gaze to you. He was far too serious for someone who only seemed to be a few years older than you were.

“I am getting rather tired, I should like to retire to my chambers.” 

You also should like to not watch my husband dance with some of the most gorgeous girls you’ve ever seen. Seems like he has found a rather attractive brunette now to keep him company on the dance floor. Leo looks to the prince and then back to you.

“It is rather early my lady… perhaps you could stay just a bit longer? It is after all your wedding.”

“Is it?” You couldn’t help but raise your eyebrows at him, gesturing to the empty chairs surrounding you. Before he could object you stood and began marching towards the exit. 

“My lady! Perhaps you might enjoy some refreshments! And perhaps you might reconsider your early departure!” Even in the gown you were more agile than him as you weaved through the crowds, waving off muttered “congratulations.” Once through the large doors of the great hall you felt as though you could finally breathe. The halls out here were dark, a few guards seemed to be passing around a flask but they immediately straightened up as they saw you, you pretended not to see them, hoping they might resume they’re drinking. After all, someone should have fun at your wedding. You lifted your skirt slightly and tried to remember where your room was as Leo finally caught up to you.

“Was it right or left…?” You stare down the nearly identical hallways as you hear two sets of footsteps approaching you.

“Wife! Where are you off to? I have a wedding present for you!” How fortunate that you married someone with such a distinct, nasally voice so you can plaster on a faux smile before you face him. You turned to see a disgruntled Leo following behind Kodo. Great. Your clearly drunk husband has a present for you on your wedding night. You have to physically resist rolling your eyes as he takes your hand and begins dragging you towards your chambers, Leo stumbling to keep up with you.

“Are you sure this cannot wait until tomorrow dear husband?” It’s unlikely he’ll want to put this off but there’s no shame in trying. 

“No no no… trust me you are going to love this…” 

Well he certainly is confident in his abilities.

He stumbles through the many confusing halls of the castle until arriving at your door, stopping just outside. He opens the door just a crack and peers inside before shutting it again, putting his hands on your shoulders, a big dopey grin on his face as he drunkenly slurs. 

“I must be getting back to the party my dear wife but your present is inside, I left you a little note on your vanity.” He leans forward and gives you a sloppy kiss, you do your best not to recoil.

“I’m sorry? I don’t quite understand?” You managed to pull him off you long enough to speak. But he’s already walking away.

“Do not fret, wife, you will love it. I will see you at dinner in a few days!” He yells over his shoulder before rushing back down to the party. You turn to stare at Leo who is just as shocked as you are as you can’t help but double over in laughter.

“Is he serious?” You’re laughing so hard you’re practically crying, Leo doesn’t seem to find the situation as funny as you do. You wipe a tear from your lash line as you straighten up. “If our marriage is anything like today has been I suppose it shall not be all that bad.” You manage to say through your laughter. He doesn’t speak, he simply opens the doors to your chambers for you, placing his hand on your back to usher you inside.

“I suppose I should not have expected any less of our prince.” Leo mutters as he closes the door behind the two of you he begins lighting the lamps around the dark room. “Shall I summon your ladies-in-waiting to help you undress my lady?” You open your mouth to answer but you’re stopped dead in your tracks as you stare at the suit of armor in the center of the room. The mannequin it appears to be resting on is rather tall. You can’t help but stare at the way the lamp light flickers against the Beskar. A Mandalorian statue? What an odd gift. You instinctively walk towards it as you mumble.

“That won’t be necessary… it is late, do not wake them, I can do it myself.” Leo looks as if he is about to protest but the note on the vanity catches his eye, he holds it between two fingers and begins to read it to himself as you stand directly in front of the armor now, your fingers raised to trace one of the gauntlets. “It certainly is a beautiful set of armor… I just don’t understand what exactly he wants me to do with it.” You run your hands across the chestplate, admiring the fine craftsmanship before you turn to face Leo, a concerned look on your face. 

This better not be a weird sex thing.

“He doesn’t expect me to wear it, does he? Is this some sort of weird fetish of his?” You find yourself looking back to the armor nervously. “It’s far too large for me… I think I would look rather foolish, like a child wearing her mothers clothing...” You bring a hand up to the helmet, a small shiver running down your spine as you stare into the lifeless visor. 

“Princess… perhaps you should wait a moment.” Leo stares at the note for a moment more before his mouth opens slightly to speak again as he gives you a warning look. But it is too late, you lift the helmet a fraction of an inch and let out a startled shriek as the armor shifts to grab both of your arms in one large hand, pulling your hand back down.

“Don’t.”

 The voice that comes from the modulator is low, it is gentle with you but is by no means joking as he releases his grip on your arm you stumble backwards. 

“Maker! You scared me half to death.” You bring your hand up to your chest as Leo rushes to your side to stabilize you, you stare at the Mandalorian in surprise for a moment before your gaze turns angry and you poke a finger into his chest. “What is your problem! Why didn’t you say something!?” He only shrugs in response.

“I was instructed not to speak to you until you read the note.” 

Bastard. 

Leo leans forward to whisper to you.

“It should appear that the prince has hired the Mandalorian to be your personal bodyguard, my lady.” Leo’s voice shakes as he stares up at the intimidating silhouette of the armored man but you are not so easily swayed, clearing your throat as you speak.

“You are dismissed Leo.” Your eyes never leave the steel visor.

“My lady, are you sure it is wise-”

“If my husband deems him fit to protect me then he is fit to protect me. Unless of course you are questioning the prince’s judgment?” You turn to glare at the Twi’lek who is now nervously tugging at the sleeves of his shirt. He does nothing but stare back at you for what feels like minutes until he finally sighs and makes a beeline for the door.

“As you wish, my lady. Ring for me if you require anything.” He closes the door and you turn back to the Mandalorian, who unsurprisingly hasn’t moved an inch, other than the way his helmet seems to shake ever so slightly but you ignore it as you walk over to your vanity, crumpling up the note and tossing it in the bin before starting to remove your jewelry, setting the ugly pieces onto the table.

“So what exactly is your job?” You don’t give him the courtesy of facing him, not after he scared you like that. 

“It was all written in the note.” 

It’s annoying how unbothered he sounds. You take off the last piece of jewelry, lifting your skirt and raising your leg to rest your foot on the ottoman to unclasp the anklet, you swear you see his helmet tilt in your direction in the mirror, but when you turn to face him he is in the same position, staring at the wall.

“I don’t care about the note. I want to hear it from you.” You fetch yourself a nightgown as you step behind the screen next to the vanity, carefully slipping out of the dress, out of sight of the Mandalorian.

“My job is to make sure you are not harmed.” He speaks so quietly you’re surprised the modulator even picks up his voice. Once dressed you step out from behind the screen and take a seat at the vanities mirror, wearing a gray silk nightgown. It’s fancier than what you’d usually wear but it doesn’t seem like they bothered to unpack any of your clothes you brought from home. You silently pray that they didn’t throw them away.

“So you just… follow me around?” You can feel the frown forming as you begin to carefully remove the now wilting flowers from your hair.

“Yes.” 

Not much of a talker this guy.

“Actually I’m good.” Your voice is snippy and you know you’re being a bit blunt but you’ve had a rough day. Finally, he deliberately moves, his head turning to watch as you undo the pin curls, your hair falling down in waves as you do.

“Excuse me?” Finally, some sign of emotion. Even if it is a twinge of anger.

“Can you not hear through the helmet? I’m good. I’ve already got an ensemble of people trailing me. I don’t need another.” You rifle through the drawers until you find a rag to wipe the makeup from your eyes before turning around to stare at him. “You’re dismissed.” 

“You don’t have the authority to dismiss me.” His voice is tense, if you could see his face you were sure he’d be scowling. It’s good to know he is capable of emotion. Even better to know it isn’t difficult to rile him up.

“I don’t know if you know this but I just married the eldest son of the king and queen. That makes me the future queen, I’m pretty sure I have the authority to do whatever I please.” You hadn’t said those words aloud until now, you hadn’t even thought them. It lifted a weight off your shoulders, somehow it made things a bit easier, to know that despite this entire situation you found yourself in that at the very least you found yourself in a position of power.

“I don’t know if you know this, but I have direct orders from the eldest son of the king and queen to not let you out of my site from the moment you leave this room until you return to it.” He mocks your tone exactly as he crosses his arms.

Shit. He’s got you there. Did Kodo have to pick this man to guard you?

“Well… I’m in this room now. So I don’t require your presence. You may go.” You wish you could come up with something more witty but you're tired, you just want to be alone, to have a single moment to try and process what a whirlwind these last few days have been. You swear you hear an annoyed huff come through his modulator. 

“I’ll see you in the morning.” His voice is sharp and he speaks with a finality that makes you want to argue further.

But he doesn’t give you time to respond. He simply leaves. Once he is gone you rush to the door to lock it and begin to dim all the lamps in the room. In the pale light you stare at the comically large bed and your stomach drops. For the first time since arriving on Naboo you feel cold. The idea of spending your wedding night in such a big bed alone makes you feel sick. Were the ceilings of this room always so high? You find yourself opening the closet. It’s the size of your room back home, it’s perfect. All of the fabric of the unfamiliar clothes that were now yours made it quiet, and soft, and warm. You grabbed a lamp from one of the many small tables around the room, (who needs this many tables?) and bring it to the closet, closing the door behind you as you rummage through the many drawers until you find one full of blankets and pillows, making yourself a nest before settling down in it. It was just as comfortable as your bed back home and you wrapped yourself around one of the larger pillows.

You wanted to cry. 

You should be crying but you're not. You’re just staring at the flickering lamp. There were a million things you could think about to make yourself cry but at this point it wasn’t even worth it. You’re tired, and there will be plenty of time for crying later, after all this was your life now. So instead you closed your eyes and pretended you weren’t here at all, that you were back home, and you weren’t completely alone, your many siblings were just down the hall in their respective rooms. But they aren’t, they’re back on Hoth. You’re on Naboo. They are all still together. 

And you are alone. ✩

He won’t leave you alone. 

It’s been ten days since the wedding but it feels like ten months. And the Mandalorian will not leave you alone. You have only seen your husband twice since the wedding, short dinners the night of every fifth cycle, last night he had told you that he saw no need to produce an heir until his father died.

How romantic.

But as much as you yearn for companionship you cannot help but be grateful that he has not ever joined you in bed. He doesn’t repulse you by any means but he just seems… indifferent. Like he couldn't care less for you, which is fine considering you aren’t exactly infatuated with him. But you’re lonely nonetheless. Conversations with your husband are one sided, once you realize he doesn’t care for anything that comes out of your mouth your dinners become much less awkward, he would ramble on about anything he found interesting for an hour and then leave. You heard a servant in passing whisper something about him going to a brothel after your second dinner. You wanted to be more upset about that but you just couldn’t find it in yourself to care. As long as it kept him out of your chambers. 

Elaine and Lysa are sweet but they are clearly intimidated by you, or at the very least they are afraid of upsetting you. So you’ve found that it’s best to just not talk to them at all unless it is to praise them or thank them. They show up like clockwork every morning to dress you and in the evening to undress you. You’re starting to feel like a doll. But they do not comment on the makeshift bed in the closet so you decide they are your favorites. Leo on the other hand has made it quite clear he doesn’t approve of your sleeping situation, you don’t bother trying to explain yourself because you know he won’t care, so now you let him watch you get under the covers of your ornate bed every night before you retreat to the closet. He can be a bit uptight and he’s terrible at conversation but the best thing about Leo is that he doesn’t hover. You honestly don’t know where he runs off to but he’s always there when you need him and he doesn’t overstay his welcome. 

Speaking of overstaying his welcome, you can see the Mandalorian over the top of the book you are currently pretending to read. 

He has become your least favorite person in your new life. He is ranked even lower than Kodo. You were currently dedicating your life to exploring every inch of the castle and mapping it out, you had taken to carrying around a small journal and noting locations you liked and places to avoid. This might be an enjoyable challenge if it weren’t for the walking hunk of metal that seemed to always be standing just out of arm's reach from you. It’s infuriating the way he always stands in your peripherals, you are always aware of his presence even when you are doing everything in your power to ignore him. 

Neither of you had spoken much since your first meeting. He had been rude, why would you speak to him? (Of course you had been rude as well but that's besides the point.) He waits outside your door every morning, and he is there when you return at night. Two days ago you had daydreamed about escaping out the window to avoid him, but considering your chambers were on the fourth floor you decided against it. 

A few days ago was when you had reached your boiling point. He had to sleep eventually, that was what you had told yourself as you opened the door to your chambers at 3 a.m. Under all that metal he was still just a person. (Or at least you were pretty sure he was.) So you donned a robe and a glowrod as you slipped into the hall. For the first time he wasn’t standing there. You just had to find your way to the library, you wanted a few books and you didn’t want to feel his steel gaze judging your every choice, you wanted something cheesy and romantic, something you could read in the closet when you couldn’t sleep. (Which was most nights.) Everytime he followed you into the library you found yourself too nervous to read so now was your chance. Surprisingly it only took you a few minutes to find it. Creeping inside you managed to find five books, clutching them in your arms you stepped back out in the hall and as you closed the library doors as quietly and quickly as you could you turned around and slammed into metal, stumbling backwards and landing on your ass, your books going everywhere. 

“Gods…” You groaned in pain as the back of your head knocked against the door, your eyes adjusted to the darkness as the glowrod illuminated a familiar pair of boots. “You are just- the nerve of you- I can’t even begin to-” Your mind stuttered through a million different insults but eventually you just gave up, huffing angrily as you picked up the light, he reached down to help you up and you shoved his gloved hands away. Leaving the books, you storm off, back towards what you hope is the direction of your room. He didn’t speak as he followed silently behind you, the only indication that he was still there was the reflection of the dim light against Beskar. You looked down two hallways trying fruitlessly to remember which way to go.

“Left.” 

Maker, he didn’t even sound tired. If looks could kill the glare you gave him as you turned left would have him six feet under. As you finally see the doors to your chamber you sigh in relief, just wanting to forget about this silly attempt to have a moment of normalcy. 

“I knew that.” Is all you can manage to mutter, still fuming to the point that you know you can’t form witty insults as you open your chamber doors.

“Sure you did.” 

As you turn to give him a piece of your mind you find yourself in the dark corridor alone. Oh you hate him. This is why he is your least favorite.

You don’t know much about Mandalorians, your mother had always said they were dangerous but that was all that was ever said about the topic. He doesn’t seem all that threatening. Sure he’s tall, and his shoulders were ludicrously broad, and he wore impenetrable armor but you’ve been sitting here staring at him for two hours now and honestly you were pretty sure at this point that you could beat him in a fight.  

Okay you might be starting to lose it. 

You haven’t had a real conversation with anyone since your wedding night, it’s not your fault if you’re starting to feel a little scatterbrained. Maybe you could push him out a window. That armor certainly wouldn’t save him from a fall. That might be too risky, with your luck you’ll end up going out the window with him. As you begin to ponder if Beskar is fireproof a familiar modulated voice breaks the silence causing you to drop your book in shock.

“Don’t.” 

In your fantasies of knocking a candle over onto his cape you hadn’t realized his helmet was facing you now.

“You really seem to love that word.” You cock an eyebrow at him. “You also seem to love scaring unsuspecting girls.” You mumble. 

“I heard that.” 

Stupid helmet with its stupid abilities. You really need to start keeping a list of what that thing is capable of. Maybe the helmet is what makes his stupid voice so deep.

“Of course you did.” You lean back in your chair as you look him up and down. “What exactly is it that you don’t want me doing?” 

“Don’t act like you can outsmart me.” 

Wiseass. 

“I wasn’t doing that, I don’t know if you can see through that visor of yours but I was reading.” You scoff at him as you cross your arms.You hear him hum softly through the modulator as he walks in your direction, standing between you and the book on the floor.

“What were you reading?” 

Dank Farrik.

You’re pretty sure you can see his shit-eating grin through the Beskar. 

“I’m not even going to humor the accusation you’re getting at.” For a split second you swear you catch the start of a laugh before his modulator cuts it off. Soundproof, you can add that to the list. He leans up against a bookshelf as he stares down at you now.

“Maybe it was another romance novel?” Maker, he's the worst. You fight back the pink that threatens to tint your face as you play dumb.

“I’m sorry?”

“Don’t be.” You wondered if you could have him beheaded. Do they do public executions on Naboo?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about..” Is all you can manage to spit out as you reach to a nearby shelf and grab the first book your fingers touch, it looks to be some sort of architecture guide. Better than nothing. “Leave me be, I’m trying to read.” You open the book quickly and as your eyes glance across the pages, much to your dismay, you don’t recognize the language it’s in, he doesn’t need to know that though.

“You left some books out a few nights ago.”

You try to hide the way your breath hitches. There’s no way he went back for them. Unless he did. Why would he do that though there would be no reason. Why is your heart racing like you’re on trial? Why can’t you stop the pink that tinges the tips of your ears?

“I read a lot of books, you can’t possibly expect me to remember every one.” You turn a page and continue scanning your eyes across the unfamiliar text. 

“The Smitten Paladin… My Barbarian Love… Interstellar Bride… The Tongues of-”

“SHUT UP.” You slam the book shut and you can’t fight the rose tint that fills your face now. 

“As you wish, princess.” 

Oh you were definitely gonna kill him now. How hard would it be to get your hands on a vibroblade…? You didn’t speak now, you couldn’t even look at him. There’s no way he had seen those that night when you dropped them, the bastard went back for them. If you could find out where is quarters were maybe you could smother him in his sleep. You assumed he would resume his mockery of you but he never did, he just stared for several minutes as you returned to your book, doing your best to pretend that you knew what it was about until he finally broke the silence. 

“So how were you thinking of doing it?” 

“Doing what?”

“Outsmarting me. Or escaping me, or killing me? Whichever one it was you were plotting.”

You wonder if he was sweating under all those layers as you allowed yourself the first indulgence of really taking him in. He wears heavy black fabric under all of his armor. You wore light and flowy dresses and you always felt like it was too hot. You also can’t stop yourself from wondering if he purposefully makes his voice lower, he must scream into a pillow or something to make it that raspy. You didn’t like how warm it suddenly got in here. This stupid planet and its stupid heat. 

“Well I can’t just tell you my top secret plans, what will you give me in exchange?” You hated the way his helmet tilted to the side to mimic you. 

“How about a walk through the gardens?” 

“We have gardens?” Your eyebrows furrow in disbelief, just when you thought you were starting to map this place out… He nods and you ponder it for a moment before holding your hand out for a handshake. “Deal.” He takes your hand in his and gives you one firm shake but you hold him there and stare at his hand. “Your gloves are stupid, why are the fingers yellow?” He groans as he pulls away.

As he pulls his hand back you catch a glimpse of his bare wrist. You hadn’t really thought about what he might look like under the armor up until now. You’re sort of surprised by how tan his skin is. As you stare for what is definitely too long he clears his throat and you find yourself face to face with his visor. 

Shit, shit shit. 

“Sorry, I got distracted by how stupid your gloves are.”

“Keep talking like that and I won’t take you to the gardens at all.”

“That’s fine, now that I know they exist I’ll just find them on my own.” You stand up, making your way towards the library exit.

“You do realize I follow you everywhere right?” 

“You’re very observative aren’t you?” You scoff.

“You won’t find them on your own. You’ve lived here two weeks and you still can’t find your room without help from Leo.” 

“This is why you’re my least favorite.”

“What?” He doesn’t even pretend to sound hurt, his voice is filled with genuine curiosity and for a fleeting moment you want to give in because for the first time in weeks you aren’t thinking about how alone you are in a castle surrounded by people. Because for the first time since you arrived on this planet you were having a real conversation, and even though you hated him he was the first person who seemed like he actually cared about what you had to say, and not just because you were royalty and it was his job.

“Do you want to hear about my secret plans or not?” You decide to change the subject and watch as for the first time, he walks next to you, not behind you, as he nods.

“I’d love to know how you plan on getting away from a trained bounty hunter.” 

Bounty hunter. You’ll have to ask him about that later if he allows you to keep talking to him. A small part of you hopes that he will. 

“I thought I might start by pushing you off of something high up.” You grin at him. You can’t remember the last time you smiled and it wasn’t for the benefit of others.

“Wouldn’t work.”

“Oh come on, your armor isn’t gonna save you from a fall from one of the castle towers-” He pulls back his cape to reveal a jetpack and you shut up. “Okay new plan, I throw your pack off the roof first.” He nods.

“You would never be able to get it off me but sure. Next plan.” Maker, you hate how smug he is. You want to slap the stupid smile you have to assume he is currently donning off of his face. 

“Well I really only had two plans, plan number two was to light your cape on fire.” 

“Fire’s not gonna kill me, that's just gonna make me angry.”

“Well in that situation I wouldn't be trying to kill you, the fire would be a distraction as I make my escape.”

“There is not a single situation in this world in which you are capable of hiding from me.” 

Why does he have to say it so huskily? Why does it suddenly feel so hot in this stupid castle? You decide he deliberately makes his voice sound deeper to make himself more intimidating. 

You open your mouth to protest but you remember the bounty hunter thing and decide to save yourself from any more embarrassment. He stops walking and you stare at the familiar doors to your chambers.

“Hey! You promised me gardens!” He opens the door for you before taking a step back.

“It’s too late for gardens. We’ll go tomorrow.” You want to argue, you want to do anything to keep talking to him, even if you loathe him and his terrible attitude. But you don’t want to ruin this, and a part of you likes the prospect of more conversation tomorrow. 

“Promise?” You hate how eager you sound.

“Promise.”

You begin to step inside your chambers but he puts a hand on your shoulder. It makes you let out a small gasp as you turn to face him.

“Before you go I have to tell you something, princess.” The voice that comes from the modulator is hushed, he leans in as if he is going to tell you a secret and your eyes get wide, you can see your reflection in his helmet, your face is going pink again.

“W-what…?” It’s embarrassing the way you stutter but he’s so close now that you can’t help it, if he got any closer your breath would fog up the Beskar. You had no idea what he was about to say but for some reason your heart was beating out of your chest. God what is wrong with you today? The heat must be messing with your head.

“It was in Galactic Basic.” 

Well now he just wasn’t making any sense. Maybe the heat was messing with his head too.

“I don’t care for riddles.” 

“Your book, earlier, the one about architecture. The one that you couldn’t understand.” He takes a step back and you furrow your brows, how the hell did he know you didn’t understand it, but more importantly, obviously you spoke Galactic Basic.

“I didn’t realize you were capable of telling jokes.”

“You were holding it upside down.” His hand drops from your shoulder and he takes a step back, waiting for a response but any snarky comeback dies on your tongue as your face burns up, realizing he’s right. Is he leaning forward in anticipation? 

Scumbag.

“Good night, Mando.” As you start to close the door you can hear him chuckling. 

“Good night, princess.”  

Jackass. You hope that he’s ugly under the helmet. 

You also hope he’s brunette.

[staticl0ve]

Connor x Fem!Reader (18+, 3.5k words) 💙 Part One

Part Two. Inexperienced lovers. Friends to lovers. Human AU. Fluff. Soft smut, oral (f!receiving)

(18+)

Sex & Lemonade 2

Summer winds sweep through dandelion fields, pulling soft tuffs of white fuzz into the air. Grass flows in waves, as do the large starry leaves of an aged oak tree. Sunlight bleaches the canopy gold and lime green. 

You’re resting on your back beneath rustling leaves. Against your skin is a thick, knitted blanket with multicolored geometric patterns, protecting you from the sharpness of fresh cut grass. Picnic treats are laid out around a basket, half eaten sandwiches, washed fruit, and cold packaged juice boxes. Past the tall grass and wildflowers, cottony swirls of clouds drift lazily across the vast blue sky.

“I spy… a unicorn,” you say to the man beside you.

Connor lies on his side, tucking an arm under his chin and legs bending just enough to have his knees brush against yours. His cheeks are a little sun kissed and flushed from your proximity. Brown eyes track your tongue as it flickers out to wet your lips between words. The action brings forth thoughts of you in his bedroom with a glass of lemonade and reminds him of what your tongue can do or how good it feels curling up and stroking his—

“Connor?”

Shit. He’s stammering, lashes fluttering and cheeks reddening. “I… I… uhm. Is it that one?”

A pale hand raises over your face, index finger pointing at a tuft of two clouds with a vaguely horse shaped head connecting to a pointy, wind blown horn. Your teeth flash, eyes squinting from a silly grin. Connor leans in closer, fingers busying themselves with a stray ribbon from your crop top. It’s attached to a corset center of criss-crossed satin and while you’re lying back, bare middle in view, he’s distracted by the thought of what might happen if he… pulled.

“Yes!” you say, dragging him out of his reverie. “You’re so good at this.”

There’s nothing in your sweet voice to imply anything else and yet he feels a bolt of heat, a twitch of interest from your words. Connor’s been thinking about you nonstop for the past few days. Ever since he learned how good you could make him feel, he’s been wondering whether or not he could make you feel the same, if not, better.

Your thighs shift as you arch your back for a quick stretch, skirt pooling around your mid thigh, leaving Connor with a tempting view of vast amounts of skin. Why did it have to be summer? He’s cursing the weather and wishes for snow, thick layers, and warm blankets for modesty. Although… he’s quick to imagine what could be done beneath a blanket and he’s already yelling at his single tracked mind.

While Connor’s busy fretting about the temperature, the wind picks up, taunting him by lifting your clothes further from your skin and the same colorful ribbon wrapped around your chest beckons him. You seem to catch that he’s not quite present with you and laugh softly. A cool and damp green grape presses against his lips, your fingers wrapping around the other end.

“You look like you need a snack,” you tease. “You’re… staring into space.”

He bites into the delicate flesh and tastes a burst of sour and sweet. Caramel eyes find yours as his tongue flattens against the bitten fruit to catch the juice which drips. There’s a flicker of wet, warmth against your skin and you wonder if Connor’s tongue grazing your fingers was an accident. You think you get your answer as his tongue curls around the grape and pops it from your hand and into his mouth.

Smiling, he lets out a content hum when he finishes chewing. “So sweet.”

All that exists is the small space between you and him and like the clouds above, the breeze pushes and pulls you two into one shape. Connor leans in closer, hovering over your laid out form, his nose brushing over your bare shoulder. Softly, he says your name like he always has since you were a little girl and he a little boy. You blink back at him, returning his smile.

“I… wanted to ask…” His eyes track down your chest and towards your knees where your thighs are pressed tightly together. “If… if you don’t mind that I returned your favor?”

“Favor?”

You go to sit up a little, but he stills you with a gentle press of his palm to your abdomen. The contact means your bare skin meets his hand and a flush of heat rushes down his back. Gulping, he smiles sheepishly, aware of how the tips of his ears must be turning as red as his cheeks.

“Y-yes, I… I would like a chance to make you feel good.” He looks at you then, large honeyed eyes dripping with sweetness. He’s the picture of dreamy, young love, his thick lashes fluttering, cheeks dimpling with another anxious smile. “Would you like to experience that with me?”

You stare back at your best friend, a little lost for words. There’s a distracting throb at your core as you mull over his offer. Your chin lifts and lowers in a small nod. Receiving your answer, Connor moves to lean over you properly, lowering himself to his elbows until your faces are inches apart.

“May I kiss you?” he asks.

You wonder if you’ll taste fruit on his lips.

“Please,” you reply.

He makes a soft noise, an almost whimper at your gentle pleading. Lips gently press against yours and his moan grows in volume. He’s been replaying how you’ve kissed him over and over, and he’s realizing his memories don’t hold a candle to the real thing. You fit perfectly beneath him, hands roaming up his chest, fingers kneading into cotton.

Connor loves how you shyly explore the planes of his muscles. Growing more confident, your hand wanders further up, tracing his collarbone and strong, taut neck muscles. He leans into your touch, hips bucking when you pull at his hair. His lips tug gently at your bottom lip and his nose bumps into yours— asking— begging silently and he hopes you can feel the need radiating from him.

Your mouth opens and welcomes him to explore, his pink tongue licking at your pillowy cheeks and scraping against sharp teeth until he finds your tongue. You can taste grape on his lips and smell the sunscreen which coats his skin. Connor drinks in your moans, lets his hand wander further down. Mischievously, his thumb catches on a perk nipple hiding behind thin cloth and you gasp his name beneath him.

He parts from the kiss to study your face and the golden glint in his eyes turn darker than molasses. It’s a look you’ve seen when he’s concentrating and plotting his way to victory at a board game or when he’s chasing you in tag… only a different hunger lurks around the edges of his eyes, causing a thrill to run down your spine. Connor blinks and it’s gone, replaced with another blush of his cheeks.

“May I?” His fingers catch onto the satin holding your shirt together. You nod again, lips curling in anticipation.

Nimble fingers pull at the bow wrapped around your chest, slipping in between to loosen the ribbon until your breasts spill from your top.

“Fuck… you’re so pretty,” he moans, dipping his head to your chest. He swirls a tongue around one nipple and uses his hand to rub faint circles over your other one. It’s a ticklish sensation and you’re caught between a giggle and a moan. Connor’s on a different planet, mouth latching more tightly on your breast as he moves his hands to your thighs, strong fingers pushing your skirt up higher.

“Connor…” You squirm as cool air hits damp lace. His thumbs rub into your inner thighs, tracing the seam of your underwear.

“May I… use my mouth on you?”

It’s your turn to stammer and your cheeks instantly feel hot. “No one has— I mean— I’ve never…”

He’s earnest, understanding and smiles back at you from between your breasts. “Neither have I. I’ve always wanted to try this with...” He corrects himself and glances away, suddenly too shy for direct eye contact. “Please, may I taste you?”

“Y-yes.”

Sliding down, his hands are on you, fingers squeezing reassuringly at your hips. They roam further, pulling down your panties and you lift your hips to help him. It gets tossed nearby, somewhere between the edge of the blanket and onto the grass. With both hands, he pushes your skirt up, letting the material pool over your hips. Connor groans at the sight of your bare sex, teeth capturing his lower lip.

“Will you show me what you like?” he asks while pulling your hand lower. His cheeks are warm when he rests the side of his head on your thigh.

“I… I’m not sure…” you stammer back.

Of course, it wasn’t like you haven’t spent time getting to know yourself on nights when your core ached, keeping you from a peaceful night’s sleep. There were also a few curious nights in college with some cute guys… but this was Connor, the boy who had the worst, squeaky voice in puberty, now a man asking you eagerly, voice low and tempting.

He’s still watching you with all the intention to study you like you were a topic he had to ace. As you blink back at him, his hand intertwines with yours. 

“Guide me. Please,” he begs. “Use my hand.” And my tongue, he hopes, but there will be time for that when you’re ready.

You listen because, god, Connor’s never sounded this desperately enthused before. You’re getting flashbacks to prom, when you both went as friends, his cheeks pinched in excitement as you joined him for a slow dance. It’s hard to know when it happened, the moment you both stopped being friends and something more. Was it then? Was it earlier this week when you had his cock down your throat?

Or is it now?

With your hand above his, you trace the bumps of his veins and large knuckles before guiding two of his fingers where you need it. He takes in a shuddering inhale when his skin makes contact with your wet folds, collecting your slick. You’re wet, warm and teasing him by letting him trace the seam of your sex, not quite letting him in. Connor swears he can feel a faint pulse and lingers, hoping he may get a chance to feel more of it.

Moving his hand back up, you bring him to your swollen clit, coaxing him to add pressure, allowing the pads of his fingers to manipulate soft, smooth skin. A moan escapes your lips when he manages to find an angle which makes your toes curl.

“Here?” His eyes are bright, brows raised curiously. He rubs in tight circles around that spot, cheek dimpling when your back arches off the picnic blanket. Your name leaves his lips. “How does it feel?”

“G-good. Mmm! Really good.”

It’s not enough, you’re feeling awfully empty and fluttering around nothing. You squirm, hips twisting and he accidentally brushes past your folds. He’s quick to apologize, the sharp sound of an S reaches your ears but you’re already pushing his palm lower, guiding him into you.

“Oh…” he gasps at the wetness that floods around his fingers. Connor’s done this part before, felt the warmth of another partner on his hands. He thought the experience meant he wouldn’t be fumbling nervously with you, but he is because you’re soaking from the anticipation of his touch. Cheeks red, a moan parts his lips as he watches his fingers slip in deeper. Tightness and heat pools between his thighs, the space in his jeans feels more restrictive with each passing moment, a need he ignores to satiate a different curiosity. His mouth feels parched and well, his tongue is already halfway out…

“Mmm! Connor!”

Your hand instinctively finds the back of his head, nails raking through soft hair. His tongue is warm and wet, applying light pressure with broad, flat licks. Connor’s inexperience shows, his motions unsure as he experiments with a variety of directions. He watches for your reactions, corrects his movements to find the areas where he should lavish attention to. And when he sharpens his tongue on one spot, really curls his tongue across it, you let out a wrecked moan. It’s music to his ears so he keeps at it, swirling at your nerves until the hand in his hair becomes conflicted with pushing him away while your thighs cage him in.

Abruptly, the feeling is gone as his head pops up. You’re expecting furrowed, worried brows and large, blown out brown eyes. Instead, he’s leaning over your pelvis with a dark shimmer in his eyes and a small quirk in the corner of his lips. His pale skin is shiny in the sunlight, chin damp and he flicks his tongue out to catch remnants of your taste.

“Was that… okay?” he asks, voice small and seeking affirmation. There’s a glimmer of pride in his eyes that tells you he already knows your answer.

“Yes, yes—” Your words slur and get swallowed by a stifled moan as he returns to his place between your thighs. You think  he’s pretty like this, too. His dark hair is a mess, curled bangs in his face as he searches for new ways to make you feel light and airy and taut all at once.

How well you react to his touch makes his heart swell with pride, knowing he can make you breathless in the way that you’ve done for him. He wonders if it’ll always be like this, you and him casually hanging out, exchanging long glances until the tension breaks into something more intimate. This is the second time in a week that the limits of what constitutes as platonic activities has reached the point where his chest aches for something more.

He’s lived through summers with you as a boy, has spent them riding bikes across miles of suburbia, grabbing refreshments filled with ice, and huddling close together on a couch to nap away the day… only for him to peek an eye open as you slept while he wondered what it’d be like when you were both older. As an optimist, he’d like to think that this summer is where he’ll find that answer.

“Oh, god! Connor… yes!”

A smile quirks his lips up and he’s laughing a little to himself as he licks at your clit.

“It’s not too much is it?”

It’s that damn sweet voice of his, dripping with sincerity but his tone never matches the almost cocky twitch of his lips. You can hardly focus on the leaves scattered above you, the clouds blending into the blue skies. All you feel is Connor, your best friend’s tongue, and his thick fingers which begin to move slowly from within.

“N-no, s’perfect,” you reply, one hand still lost in his hair and the other fisting the picnic blanket so as to not hurt the brunette between your legs. 

He tests how pliant you are, stroking you open and feeling up similar nerves that make your thighs tremble. It stokes a warming sensation in your lower belly as he fills you to his knuckles, crooks his fingers in time with his licks around your clit. When you clench tightly around him, he groans, tongue vibrating as it laps at your swollen bud. He can hear the squelch of your slick by his ears and can’t resist moving his free hand to grind his crotch into.

“Sweetheart,” Connor coos, lips pressed to your sex while he talks. “Please, let me taste you. Please.”

You barely squeak out a “yes” before his wet fingers leave you, sliding up to replace his tongue in rubbing circles. His face digs in, nose pressed beneath your clit as his tongue shyly prods at the seam of your sex. He runs his tongue up your slit, catching the slick that drips. You hear a muffled “fuck” and he’s suddenly, merciless, completely forgone the notion of a slow pace. It’s an exchange of trust between friends, although lovers almost suits you two better. You’re laid out for him to taste as he’s sprawled out for you to use and Connor feels incredibly lucky to be the first to discover how sweet you are.

His name leaves your lips, his brown hair pulled by your fingers as your hips rise to meet his tongue. It encourages him to push in deeper, his wet and warm appendage stroking silken muscles. He’s using the quake of your thighs, moans, and squirming hips as his guide to all the right spots.

“God,” he murmurs between breathy breaks. A groan, halfway to a growl vibrates his tongue. He lays a kiss to your inner thigh, sharp teeth nipping playfully. “You taste so sweet.”

Connor plunges back in before you can reply, filling you once again with his tongue. You tighten around him as his fingers move faster, coating your clit in the combined mess between your thighs. In the background, you catch him bucking his hips into his hand like a desperate teenager.

“Are you…?” You moan again, distracted by a talented flick of his tongue. “A-are you touching yourself? God, you’re such a good boy.”

Connor nearly spills into his denim, hips stuttering. He doubles his efforts, swapping again to fill you with his fingers. When his mouth wraps around your clit, a sucking pressure pulls at your nerves, making your back arch off the blanket. Brown eyes rake over your exposed breasts, the filtered sunlight kissing your skin and the wrecked, half lidded glance you give him. He thinks it can’t get better than this, lying under clouds with the summer sun hidden through dense leaves, and his childhood crush making a mess of his face.

“I’m close,” you whimper.

Oh, so it can get better. Connor whines from the combined friction of his hand, your tightness and imagines how perfect you’d feel surrounding him. He can see it now, you with your legs around his waist, back arched the way it is now— fuck, you’d feel so much better than the dull friction he’s getting through thick denim.

“Baby, please. I want to… I… I want to come with you,” he pants breathlessly.

A string of please’s connects until it’s melded into one unintelligible word and he’s mumbling it while desperately fucking you with his mouth and fingers. The strand of reality keeping you on this plane snaps and you suddenly feel like you’re drifting in a warm ocean, basking in the glow of the sun. Your body sinks into the water and bobs back up, dipping in and out of euphoria in waves.

The sharp cry of Connor’s name leaving your lips is all it takes for him to follow shortly after you. He works you through the afterglow, tongue lazily dragging over a swollen bud of nerves. His hands, wet as they are, drag up your legs to grip your hips. Arms outstretching, you try to coax him to lie on top of you and he rises up from his knees until his face hovers over yours.

“My face is quite messy, I’m unsure if…” he begins when you wrap a hand around his neck and pull his face lower. Shaking your head to disagree with him, you crush your mouth to his and taste yourself on his lips.

Sweet and tart, like summer fruit.

Your hand wanders, cramming to fit between a small gap in his jeans and bare skin and finds the sticky mess in his clothes. Connor moans softly when he feels your fingers caress his cock,  catching a sample of his release. You bring your hand to your lips and he’s watching you intensely, mouth parting around another curse word. Your tongue wraps around your fingers, lips sucking his slick off your hand.

“You taste like summer,” you tell him, smiling softly.

The light catches around his hair and shoulders in a golden halo as he hovers over you. Evidence of your afternoon together is marked on him and Connor wears it proudly. Slowly, his lips spread, eyes softening and you swear you can see your futures in them.

“You, too,” he whispers back.

An arm wraps around your waist and hugs you to him, his face lost in the crook of your neck. Your eyes close, enjoying the cool breeze, his warm body on yours. Connor turns to kiss you in a way that tells you summer is only the beginning of something new between you and the boy you’ve known your whole life.

Leaves drift overhead, carrying themselves across fields of wildflowers. A train sounds off in the distance as he reaches over your head, plucking a dandelion from the grass. White tuff clings to a stem as it’s brought to your lips.

“Make a wish,” he says.

You think of Connor, lips picked up at the corners, freckled cheeks turning tanner by the day and make your wish.

-

💙 To Connor’s masterlist.

[yellow-computer-mouse]

Aebes! - Open Furry Species

Hey! I figure it's about time to make a species guide for Aebes (what Bramby is)! This might be a bit disjointed and rambly, but it should all make sense (hopefully)!

Also, @mrmrsdarklordjrthethird specifically requested this, so here you go! I hope this helps! ^^

What Is An Aebe?

An Aebe (pronounced ay-bee) is some kind of alien species. They come in two variants: bees and moths.

Bee variants have sharp, fluffy-looking tails that are actually quite thorny and hold a toxin. The severity of this toxin varies from mostly harmless to lethal. They have thin antennae that occasionally have small amounts of fuzz, as well as four small, dragonfly-esque wings sprouting from their back.

Moth variants don't have tails but have much, much more fur. Some choose to style their fur to resemble a bee variant's tail, but most don't care to. They have thick, fluffy antennae, and two large butterfly wings. They are, on average, slightly larger than bee variants.

Bees tend to live in more warm, tropical areas, better suited for their sweeter diet. Their fur excretes a water-resistant oil, much like a duck's. Moths stick to cold, snowy areas, their thick fur coats keeping most of the snow away from their skin. They have better night vision than bee variants, although bees can see farther than moths.

Both variants have orbs floating above their head. These orbs can change shape with emotion. Common shapes to see are hearts, exclamation points, question marks, and crosses, although the exact range varies wildly from person to person. An orb has the consistency of jelly, and acts differently depending on the individual. Some orbs orbit around the Aebe's head, some bob up and down, and some remain more or less motionless.

Although uncommon, it is not unusual to see a hybrid of the two variants.

[ID: A bee variant Aebe and a moth variant Aebe standing side by side, facing each other. The bee variant is messily colored a faint yellow, and the moth variant is similarly colored with a greyish-blue. End ID]

Aebe Culture

Aebes have a wide variety of cultural practices. Many bees like to hold competitions, racing across land and through water to see who's faster. Prizes last about a week and typically consist of extra fruit, bragging rights, and a shiny medallion.

Moths focus more on togetherness, banding together as groups for large feasts. They also commonly work in pairs or trios, styling and dying each other's fur into intricate designs.

Aebes names depend on what variant they are. Moths tend to name each other based on deceased relatives or friends, while bees' names are related to the environment or colors. Some common names include:

Aether - Bee

Somni - Moth

Lapis - Bee

Nickle - Moth

Bases and Extra Stuff

That's pretty much all I have for Aebes! I have some free-to-use (the only rule is credit me somewhere if you do use them) bases here, a moth variant and a bee variant! This is a completely open species, no need to credit me or anything! I don't believe in closed species. You don't have to tag me if you create an Aebe character, but if you want to, I'd love to see it! :)

Either variant can technically be any color, but bee variants are usually more brightly colored! Moth variants have smaller pops of color.

They do usually wear clothes, but design your character however you want! The refs are empty so you can focus on coloring and add clothes and patterns later, as well as not having to use a preset outfit! On a similar note, add more limbs! More eyes! Make them more buggy! Go wild!

With everything said and done, I hope you love these little guys as much as I do! Happy creating!

[hylianassassin]

A Hot Take on Gerudo Survival Skills

I'm not going to rant and rave about the majority of the discord surrounding Tears of the Kingdom when it comes to Ganondorf vs Hyrule. There are more than enough posts circulating about that out there by plenty of good and intelligent folks, and I've already offered my thoughts on it. I encourage folks to go check those out.

What I'm tired of seeing is the argument that the Gerudo have little to nothing to survive on in the desert. This is one of the most badass and longest enduring tribes in all of Zelda and yet for some odd reason folks seem to insist that they're somehow unable to exploit the incredible amount of resources available to them. I've played desert survival challenges in BotW where I exist solely within the Gerudo area for extended periods of time, and if you know what you're doing its actually quite easy.

Anyone who has spent ample time around the Gerudo region in either of these games knows just how incredibly abundant food is in the Gerudo Highlands. There is a ton of large game up there that is easy to bring down with a single headshot from a Gerudo bow. Gerudo bows are sniper bows and are far from useless. Are we going to argue that these very strong and powerful ladies can't do something as simple as draw one of the bows of their own making, or know how to track prey through the snow? One might argue that we never see a Gerudo in the Highlands or in possession of clothing warm enough to survive up there, but I would counter with the fact that the ice house exists and it's clearly stated that the ice is harvested and brought down from the Highlands. This argument is invalid.

Additionally, the desert itself is abound in fruits and poultry ripe for the harvesting. And obviously it's done to such efficiency that there is an ample enough supply to make a profit in selling these items at market, to both Gerudo and Hylians alike. There is obviously enough surplus of hydro melons that there is a Gerudo NPC that devours them to such excess as to clog up one of the fountains in Gerudo Town.

And while we're on the topic, the Gerudo clearly have an ample enough water supply that they can run fountains constantly, all through their town. So clearly they're not struggling there.

Additionally still, Moldugas exist and are shockingly common. Yes, they're big, powerful and dangerous, but if one little twink with enough bomb arrows can kill one then are you going to tell me that this tribe of intelligent, hearty, and highly trained women cannot organize a Molduga hunt with relative ease?

Various Native American groups were able to thrive on only one or two bison hunts a year. It was dangerous, extremely, but they had it down to a science. You're going to tell me that the Gerudo are incapable of such coordination? Honestly it could even explain and deepen their connection to the sand seals. These lovely creatures can carry a few skilled huntresses through a Molduga's territory to flush it out, and with more than one target the Molduga wouldn't know which one to chase. Throw in archers who are on the rocks or ruins and a Molduga dinner is practically guaranteed. And let's not forget that with typical Moldugas, three blasts from Urbosa's fury is more than enough to bring it down. Given that Riju also possesses lightning magic, and the fact that there is a sage in Rauru's time who also controls lightning, I think we can safely assume that the ability is common enough that it can be relied upon. It wouldn't take anything for the chief to organize a Molduga hunt and ride proudly out there with her sisters to feed the tribe for a good while.

So yes, I'm not saying there aren't issues with Totk's plot or its handling of Ganondorf, but I'm tired of seeing people parrot this idea that the Gerudo are struggling to survive when they're more than capable of doing so. They were doing it long before Ganondorf, and they've done it long after him too. So please, stop using this reasoning to justify Ganondorf outright murdering someone in cold blood just to obtain their Zonai stone. It just doesn't work.

And as a side note, there is clearly a demarcation within the tribe at the time of Totk Ganondorf's reign due to how the Gerudo sage reacts to hearing that he's overcome the last free (yes that's the word they use) Gerudo villages. From what is shown, Ganondorf and his followers are an extremist terrorist group within the tribe.

Again, I'm not saying that there aren't problems with his motivations (and I really hate the greenish skin tone), but he is clearly not doing what he does for the benefit of his tribe. He might think he is, but he isn't. And there are much better arguments that could be made than just, oh the Gerudo are struggling to survive and Hyrule is full and fertile and blah blah blah. And it isn't like Rauru is trying to withhold Hyrule's bounty or otherwise fuck over the Gerudo. It's even stated that he's sent multiple invitations to them to join up with the Hyrulean tribes and share the bounty.

I'm going to repeat myself yet again: stop treating the Gerudo as incompetent and use basic survival and lack of resources to justify what Ganondorf does. It doesn't work.

Side side note: Urbosa's amiibo drops primarily meat. Interpret that as you will. And Ganondorf's legendary cursed grin when he commits said murder? That is not the smile of a sane man.

[usagi0004]

WARNING SPOILERS

FOR TWISTED WONDERLAND CHAPTER 7

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

Hi!

I wanted to translate yuu's last interaction with malleus because I couldn't stand the anxiety of waiting haha, if you're like me, you can keep reading to satisfy your curiosity.

This translation was made with an application from Japanese to English, so there may be things that are wrong.

WARNING SPOILERS:

─────── ∘°❉°∘ ────────

Yuu leaves their room at night when they see some green fireflies.

Malleus is outside and it's snowing

Yuu: it's snowing!?

Malleus: That voice... Is it child of man?

Malleus: Oh, if they didn't notice, the trees in the garden would die from frost.

Malleus: it's a bad habit of mine.

Malleus makes the snow stop

Malleus: Even when I was young, I was scolded by Lilia for freezing the castle.

Malleus: When I finally started walking on two legs I had a tantrum for a really stupid reason, I was planning to have dinner with my grandmother, but she had an urgent business.

Malleus: However, on that day, I just couldn't stand it...

Malleus: Before I knew it, the desks, chairs, and even the waiters were all frozen.

Malleus: None of the people in the castle could come near me.

Malleus: Seeing them running away from me in fear, I'm getting more and more frustrated...

Flashback of Lilia

Malleus: Lilia, called by the Royal Guard, came to the castle.

Malleus: First, he slipped past my eyes and released the frozen retainers...

Malleus: He made them prepare a large amount of vessels and syrup.

Malleus: Lillia crushed the ice that was frozen all over the place, put it in a cup and poured syrup on it...

Malleus: He distributed them to the people in the castle and started eating them together.

Malleus: Thinking about it now, the vassals must have been a good nuisance.

Malleus: Being forced to eat frozen desserts in a freezing cold castle... Ha ha.

Malleus: People gathered around a large table and lilia said, "It's delicious, look at the people who eat ice cream, it's delicious." I'm so jealous.

End of flashback

Malleus: By then my head had cooled down a bit and I was starting to regret.

Malleus: I think I've done something outrageous by letting my emotions take over...

Malleus: I thought that Lilia would scold me too much, but if he got really angry, he would be ridiculously scary.

Malleus: You can't imagine it when you look at him normally, can you? Ha ha...

Malleus: Then he took my frightened hand and invited me to his seat...

Malleus: thought I'd get yelled at, saying, "Try it because it's delicious," so I was disappointed.

Malleus: It's bland, but...it's just ice with syrup, it felt good to have so many people gathered at the dining table, which is usually only one person or two with my grandmother.

Malleus: As I ate ice desserts with the people of the castle, my frustration subsided before I knew it.

Malleus: The castle, which had been frozen in ice, was restored.

Malleus: Lilia who had regained her composure, said to me "you have great power Don't use that power in vain."

Yuu: I'm sure tsunotaro was lonely.

Malleus: lonely? me?

Malleus: I wonder how I'm used to spending time alone...that's because I was alone even before I broke the egg shell, but It's true that Lilia has always been by my side since I was born.

Malleus: But from now on, I won't be scolded by him anymore.

Malleus: Forget about talking too much nonsense.

Malleus: , it's rare to come out to the garden at this hour. Besides, you look like you have something to say all the time.

Yuu: I might find a way to return to my original World.

Malleus: to the original World?

─────── ∘°❉°∘ ────────

I'll leave it there because I'm already a little tired, sorry if a have some mistakes, English isn't my first lenguague.

I hope it helped you!

The channel where I took the images to translate is this:

https://youtube.com/@hokan11

[onecantsimply]

Mind if I ask for Jack spending his Christmas together with teen!reader?

Nah, I don't mind- Thank you for the request- I hope you're doing well-

I’m so bored in Spanish- 

Also, happy early Christmas to all of you. If you go for Hanukkah, I wish you have fun with that-  

-

You two... have never really celebrated Christmas before- Your reason for... well... bad parents- But Jack never really did celebrate Christmas because he never did have anyone to celebrate with. But he unexpectedly gained a chaotic teen in his house, so that changed- He may spoil you-

- Please don’t mind if this man is out a bit later than usual- He’s getting gifts for you- He damn well hopes that you aren’t awake by the time he gets home- Though, the slight same could be said for you. Since you’ve always heard of people getting gifts for their loved ones on Christmas, you decided to get some for Jack. Whether that you get gifts while he’s at work or after you yourself are done with work, I’m pretty sure he won’t be too nosy-

- Istg you two are taking the time you don’t see each other to full advantage for presents- By the time you see how many presents are under the tree, I’m sure you’re both kind of... concerned with how much you spent- Yeah, no more presents after that- Aye, at least they’re all neatly wrapped-

He might make hot chocolate instead of tea- Just a small change for Christmas- While he may not be as fond of hot chocolate as he is with tea, he can see that you happen to have a large fond for both- It does get comforting to see some snow float down to the floor while you two are drinking some hot cocoa. 

- Oh, and if you go outside... don’t start a snowball fight- Unless you want to be sick by tomorrow, don’t do it- This man can cover you with snow from how quick he is- The amount of snow may be limited, but that doesn’t stop him- He’l have you bundled within a blanket after don’t worry lmao-

- If you can have hot chocolate, you can have different dishes- Most likely that you two may have a bit more dessert since... it’s Christmas- So... apple pie and whatever treat you may like- Enjoy, because you won’t quite get those types of treats every day- But if you think that (Y/n) hasn’t had any treats because of their genetic parents, then we’ll have Jack get them to try out some sweets- 

Since you both have presents waiting for you under a small tree, Jack didn’t exactly want the tree to die or have its leaves fall all over to floor, so he got a fake one- Can’t blame him though- You of course help him decorate. You may include small candy canes to the branches- Just a few though- I pray none of you fall when putting the star on the very tip of the tree- Also, I hope you don’t have a cat that always hides under the tree- 

- Ngl you two might decorate outside the house too- Maybe just a few of those red and green, shiny and prickly things that people hang by their roofs- Hell, I don’t know what they’re called lmao- But still- You two may decorate a bit- Fair to say that you two overdid yourselves for Christmas, but hey, it’s a good start- You two finally get to celebrate- 

- Naturally, Jack is fine with anything you get him- He’s even honored to get one thing- But yet, he decided to go a bit overboard with your presents, so it’s only fair for you to do the same with him- 

[dark9896]

Coat tales and Frocks [Klaus x Reader]

Requested by Anonymous 📚

Every breath hurt you physically, the gash in your side wasn't very deep... yet. But you couldn't let your guard down. The wolves might have retreated, but the beast you caught a glimpse of was much larger than any wolf.

Snow crunched beneath your boots, heavy spear clutched tight as you leaned against a medium-sized tree. This could not be your last hunting trip, you refused to be bested like this. Doing your utmost to set a trap for the creature, even as your mind raced along with its swift footfalls. The snow hardly crunched, despite its massive size.

Your attempt to swipe with your spear proved futile. The wood splintered in the beast's massive paw. It towered over you, fangs glinting in the late afternoon sun. But your feet slipped from under you, an unspotted drop-off in the woods having become your true downfall.

.

Klaus was nervously pacing around outside the room where he'd placed the visitor. They seemed to be gravely injured and frightened, it was only natural. Massive paws wrung themselves over and over again, his worry only building as the moments ticked by and a trail of short fur left in his wake.

He was fully aware of how monstrous he looked, how you must've seen him whilst your senses were on survival. But Klaus couldn't very well leave an injured person out in the snow. Even if they were a hunter who tried taking swings at him.

It was Steven who tried to calm the large beast-man first, Gilbert was the one busy tending the wound after all. Though how effective it was to have a suit of armor comforting one was debatable. Soft clanks followed the near-silent footfalls of the massive beast-man.

"You've done everything you could for them." A hollow voice doing its best to be soft created a weird echo, "Why you felt the need to bring them here however, I'll never know. They attacked you after all."

Klaus frowned a tiny bit, "They were already grievously injured from the wolves Steven. I couldn't leave them out in the snow in such a state."

"They very nearly spilled your blood in the process."

Ignoring the bandage over his own paw, the tiniest pinpricks of blood from wooden splinters were hardly comparable to a deep cut. At least, Klaus thought it was a deep cut, he couldn't look at the wound for too long with how blood was dripping down your side.

Peeking in to see you passed out as Gilbert hobbled out of the guest room, Klaus barely relaxed. At the very least you seemed to be peacefully asleep, but how long would that last?

"They are perfectly fine Master Klaus." The voice of a coat rack was not a very loud one to be sure, "Their wound was not nearly as deep as it first appeared, only seeming that way due to the heavy amount of fabrics they were wearing for insulation."

Finally able to relax, Klaus couldn't stop shaking. He didn't know what to do at this point. You would most definitely have questions, but how was he to answer? How would you respond to seeing such a monster as him walking around a castle like this?

Would you even believe his story?

.

The pain in your side was only matched by the throbbing headache as you sat up. Scanning the room you were in only showed an exquisite bedroom, light blues accented with pearly white lining and soft metallic swirls in silver and gold. Either you were dead, or someone had rescued you.

Given the pain you were in, you could only assume you were in a safe place.

Yet the first thing you noticed as you eased from under the covers was your lack of clothing. Only a light nightshirt and what had to be cotton shorts covered your body, which meant someone had to have taken your gear. Where to you couldn't be sure, it wasn't in the room with you though.

A few wobbly steps were all you could manage before a loud clang outside the door made you jump. A feminine voice with a very odd hollow wood sound confused you. Could a human actually make that kind of noise? And what did they mean by stop pushing the teapot? Wouldn't... wouldn't they be carrying it?

Apparently not as a large wooden cart wheeled itself into the room, sporting a small tea tray and...

Why did the cart have a face?

Rubbing your eyes, clearly still dreaming or hallucinating, you peered at the cart hoping beyond hope that the bright blue eyes staring back at you would disappear.

"What do you want, huh?" It barked in a rather 'fight me' tone of voice, "Never seen someone with- OW! What the f&*k was that for!?"

"Hush Zapp." The wooden dish holder had used one of its... her... legs to smack the cart itself, "Poor dear probably doesn't know much about magic at all. And certainly wouldn't be able to tell you were ever a human."

"Hey!" Was... was the cart's name Zapp? "I'll have you know I'm the epitome of a human. And this big shot hunter couldn't do jack!"

"They injured Klaus better than you ever could." Why... why didn't that fork open its eyes? Clearly, it was part of this... magic, "Meanwhile all you can do is run over toes, and that's still more than what you used to do as a human."

You felt the need to raise your hand, if only to get their attention.

"Uh, what's going on? Who... Who are all of you?"

The dish holder seemed to brighten up, though she only had one eye from what you could tell, "Well, I'm K.K. I was one of the advisors of the court. Zapp here was only a guard in training and this little bugger is Leo. He was a squire, until... well he currently serves the cook but that's only because of the curse put on the castle."

K.K. seemed capable of going on for hours. And she did, to your detriment as you couldn't understand half of what she said. She spoke too fast and your head was still throbbing, only marginally helped by the tea and sandwiches the three of them brought in. What little you could understand was that there were no humans here, only sentient objects and this 'Klaus' person.

You wondered vaguely if Klaus was the creature from the woods. But then... why would he bring you here? You did attack first, even if it was in fear and adrenaline.

But you couldn't do much about it now. Despite having woken up, and being attended by chatty helpers, it was still very late at night. All the pain you still suffered from wasn't going to let you wander around the castle... who knows how fast you'd get lost.

Though you didn't register any movement from beyond the door, Klaus had been listening in. Not trying to eavesdrop entirely, more so concerned for your health. And delighted to hear K.K.'s explanation of how much you were already capable of moving around on your own.

Not that Klaus would try to stop you from doing anything, he was just relieved that your injuries weren't that serious.

.

Armed with the most basic knowledge, and a fresh set of clothes, you finally ventured outside the room. You felt much better compared to last night and while the clothes did fit... they really weren't your style. But you were in no position to complain, you were a guest after all.

Eyes scanning every nook and cranny of the castle, looking for the objects with faces. Knowing that the ones without faces couldn't even move and secretly trying to catch a glimpse of some other humanoid form in the castle. You were blindsided by a small, white monkey looking creature smacking you in the face with its tiny paws.

Raising an eyebrow at the tiny thing, you closed your eyes at the waving of paper so close to your face. But the scribbles on the scrap of paper seemed to be a map of sorts. And kind of an invite? Showing you where the dining room was and asking you to arrive post-haste.

The small monkey stayed perched on your shoulder as you walked, pointing you in the correct direction whenever you stopped to check the little hand-drawn map. Though it didn't take too long for you to find the dining room at all. Glancing all around for some trance of this Klaus person, or really anyone at all. You'd settle for the rude cart with a face at this point because this castle felt empty.

"Ah, my apologies."

You turned to see a hulking, almost blood-red beast stoop into the room using a door opposite you, almost directly across the table from where you were standing. Even squinting, you couldn't be sure if this was the same beast from the other day. There was something... off about how he looked now versus how he looked then.

Or maybe it was just the blood you lost that day. Who knows?

"Please, allow me to introduce myself." He half bowed, swishing an equally large tail, "I'm Klaus von Reinherz. A once high-ranking nobleman and owner of this castle. I understand that Madam K.K., Leonardo, and Zapp have already made your acquaintance."

The small monkey on your shoulder squeaked at the large beast-man.

"Ah yes, and Sonic as well." He was keeping a straight face this whole time, it was a little creepy. Even if he did have fangs as long as your forearm, you thought he'd attempt a smile, "My apologies Sonic."

"Uh, so... Were you the one who I swung at in the woods?" You hesitated to move forward, or move at all as every fiber of your being screamed at you to run, "Because you both do and don't seem familiar."

"Yes I am." He stepped forward, going right past several chairs and straight for you, "Though I do not hold you accountable for the incident. I wholly understand the complexity of the situation."

Every step he took only made you want to run more, but he stopped at a chair right beside the edge of the table. As if he could sense how you were feeling, in spite of how perfectly still you were standing.

"Well, that and you were worryingly injured. I mistook the wound for a deep one. Though I am relieved that it wasn't so." Reaching for you with one massive paw, "Might I know with whom I am speaking?"

You tried with all your might not to look like a scared rabbit as you glanced at the paw being held out to you. What was it that he wanted? Other than your name... Were you supposed to follow him? Give him your hand? Was he just being friendly?

His paw wasn't stretched out to shake your hand, not when his palm was turned completely up. Gathering what little sense you had...

"I'm [Name]. From the village just north of here." Maybe you didn't sound too frightened, but then again, "I don't mean to be a burden. I promise I'll take off as soon as I'm able."

Were you imagining things or did he look defeated when you said that?

"Ah, yes. Of course. No rush, naturally." His paw retreated, "Please, don't try to force your recovery. You're free to stay here as long as you'd like."

There was something... lonely about Klaus. You weren't sure about staying, or even about leaving. But it felt as if he wanted you to stay, perhaps as a companion. Though he likely wouldn't actually say it out loud. Even with the people who were here with him, they were all below him in rank. You were too, just not under a curse.

But upon realizing that, your whole body relaxed. You still had more questions than answers, but for now you weren't afraid of the monstrous man in front of you. Just a little concerned about the weather outside.

.

Weeks flew by, your injury healed in no time it seemed. And the other people here were all staff to Klaus. Though you were told how Klaus was initially cursed.

"A few years ago a fairy entered the castle on Master Klaus's birthday." Gilbert shook out the laundry little by little as he spoke, "It wasn't uncommon for fae of all sort to attend such events after all. Though she didn't have a gift Master Klaus wanted."

You watched the tall coat rack doing laundry. It was mesmerizing to see, if a little janky compared to how others moved around.

"She offered Master Klaus her hand in marriage. Which he refused in the kindest way possible. Attempting to explain that he couldn't marry a woman, not even a fae woman that he didn't truly love." Gilbert couldn't bend over to grab the basket, or the little bit of clothes still left inside. So you reached over to help, "Ah thank you. Yes, where was I?"

"Hm, and of course the fairy didn't like that answer in the slightest. She cursed Master Klaus and his house. Thusly turning myself and the rest of the staff into furniture, and Master Klaus into a large beast so that until he finds someone who can truly love him as he is, we are all stuck like this."

You ruminated on that for a while. Was it possible that Klaus was getting his hopes up? That he was trying to fall in love with you? There wasn't much you two had in common after all, not with you being from a poor village that sent hunters and warriors off to spare them living such a barren town.

And especially with you having taken a swing at Klaus, it didn't seem fair to be the one he would try to fall for.

Or maybe he was just plain lonely and wanted a little company. This was a large castle, sure it was nice but it was so empty. The books in the library had likely been read all the way through at least once. Leaving only the gardening and baking that Klaus often left to do. He never once forced his company onto you either. He would offer, ask if you'd join him for things, but never outright say you had to do anything with him.

.

It was still snowing like crazy. You'd never seen a blizzard this bad before, not this late into spring anyways. Klaus hesitated to approach you, he knew that look. The way you were staring out the window was all too telling. You were getting bored of this place, bored of him...

Klaus shook his head. The two of you hardly really talked. There were so few topics the two of you could properly discuss given the distance between your lives and upbringings. Of course you'd want to leave, you felt like you didn't belong here.

But Klaus couldn't just stand by and watch you be bored. Gathering what courage he could, he walked up behind you.

"Ah, pardon me, [Name]?" One tentative claw tapped your shoulder, "Would you be interested in joining me for tea?"

You barely even jumped at the sight of a claw over your shoulder, knowing it was just Klaus.

"Sure, why not."

Klaus held up both paws in surrender, "You don't have to, I assure you it- I..."

"I don't mean to sound so blaize about it." You looked up into his bright green eyes, "I just..."

Klaus followed your gesture out the window. His heart sank a little, knowing what you meant and what clear skies would mean in the long run.

"Do... do you miss home?"

You blinked for a few seconds, trying to really think about why you wanted to leave. Technically you had everything you needed right here. But it just didn't feel right to stay with Klaus like this, not when you felt like a burden rather than a guest.

"I-- I don't mean to pry! I just--"

"It's not that I miss home, I just..." You sighed, looking at the floor, "We both know I don't really belong here. That I'm only here because you're a good person. And I just don't feel right taking advantage of that."

You paused, "What I mean is. It really does feel like I'm taking advantage of you."

Instinct took over as Klaus's paws enveloped your hands, drawing them half way up his chest.

"[Name], of course you aren't!" He subconsciously took a step forward, "I truly don't mind your staying here. I enjoy your company, honest! I know we don't have much to talk about but you are more than welcome to stay here as long as you'd like. Maybe even come back for a visit if the weather permits."

Klaus kept rambling about how you weren't a burden, but your mind wandered. If you ever did leave, would you come back? Sure, Klaus was nice but did you really want to come back? Everything was so confusing to you. And you definitely didn't belong in this world of finery and fancy things.

But his paws were very soft and warm, he was very nice and you were comfortable in his presence. It would be a nice to visit... if it wasn't for the fact that he was a royal. That was the only thing that you had any kind of problem with. How very different your worlds were from one another.

"Klaus."

He fell silent instantly, worried he'd said too much. But really you had zoned out...

"I've gotta ask. Why are you so insistent about me coming back?" You tilted your head up at him, "You're right. We haven't talked much at all, we don't share the same interests, we don't even come from the same background. As far as I can tell we don't have anything in common, not even what we want out of life. So why ask me to return if there wouldn't be any real point?"

Klaus's mouth felt dry. Should he be honest? Would the truth be selfish of him? After all, you were correct about most of that. Though Klaus felt one truly deep conversation would clear up most of the uncertainty surrounding you staying here to begin with.

He didn't want you to leave at all...

"I have not thought that far ahead." He shuffled sheepishly, finally letting go of your hands, "I only know that I enjoy your company and would like to know that you would come back for a visit some time."

"And if I said I couldn't? If I would rather travel the world and find something else to do with my life?"

Klaus's eyes widened, but not out of fear, "You... if that's truly what you wanted. I wouldn't attempt to stop you. I could never do such a thing. But... I..."

Scratching the back of his head with one massive paw, Klaus struggled to just say what he wanted. How nice that idea sounded. Even if he was stuck in this beastly form, to travel the world and see sights beyond this castle would be phenomenal. At least to him...

"You would probably get on with the life you were meant to have." You sighed, "Parties and nobles and sparkly things."

Klaus opened his mouth to explain, but you unintentionally cut him off.

"I would just get in the way of all that."

"No you wouldn't." He hesitated to reach out for you again, "I meant that I wouldn't be able to stop you from travelling. In all honesty, going and seeing the world sounds like a glorious adventure. One I would very much like to go on myself."

Klaus couldn't handle looking into your eyes, "Though I wouldn't want to press my company upon you. As much as I would like to travel, I doubt I would be the best for a world as harsh as the elements."

As much as you wanted to tell Klaus he was welcome to come with, you weren't so sure about that yourself. It wasn't a matter of skills or anything, but this was the first thing either of you could agree on. And it was just a dumb example of why you might not return to the castle for a visit, you weren't entirely sure you would travel at all.

But Klaus seemed certain.

.

The weather outside finally calmed down enough to wander the castle grounds, though the light snowfall was still a little odd for Spring. But stretching your legs outside felt so much better, especially once you allowed yourself to talk to your host.

Spending most meals and the occasional tea break just chatting about everything you could think of proved to be more enjoyable than the awkward silences you'd been forcing. Realizing Klaus wasn't at all like any other noble you'd been in the company of.

And not just because the poor man was lonely.

He was a little less inclined to show his emotions, like most other nobility, but he was also much more self-conscious and self-aware than his peers. Striving to actually be kind to his staff, to the people he was supposed to rule over.

It was quite the shock to learn that your village was part of his territory. Just as Klaus was shocked to hear the land had passed onto a different noble not remotely related to his family.

The way you acted around him was far more justified with the horror stories you recounted about other nobles being downright cruel.

Though you still weren't sure about why you were still here. Yes the weather had you otherwise trapped, due to the snow beyond the gates being far too thick to pry the doors open; but you also weren't too sure about the whole 'breaking the curse' thing.

Were you really the right person for the job? Was this fair to Klaus? He barely knew anyone and you just happened to be the first person he's met in a long while. Was that really enough?

.

Klaus was having problems containing the smile on his face. Running around the courtyard like that had been invigorating, downright exhilarating. Though he was still a gentleman, helping you shake off your heavy coat and steadying you as you tugged off snow boots.

This didn't quite feel like love, not in the romantic sense. Even as he sat next to you on the floor, just in front of the fireplace with blankets and cocoa. It felt more like he finally had a friend with whom he could share everything.

It made for an odd feeling given how he initially thought you'd be the one to break the curse. How he wanted you to be the one to do so. And yet, here he was perfectly content to relax the days away, with someone he truly cared about.

"I don't think I've ever seen snow this late into March." You sighed into the steaming mug, "What about you?"

Klaus shook his head solemnly, "I've never paid much attention to the weather before now. Though now that you mention it... this does seem strange."

The silence stretched, the only noise being the cackle of firewood. Klaus was slightly worried however, you usually only brought up the weather when you wanted to talk about leaving. While he was a bit more comfortable with the topic, it saddened Klaus to think about the lonely silence you'd leave behind.

But perhaps the two of you could leave together...

"Do you think you could teach me some things?"

Klaus nearly choked on his cocoa in trying to answer.

"Of- of course [Name]!" He straightened up subconsciously, "Just name what you'd like to learn. I swear to do my best."

.

Klaus would eat those words; sooner rather than later. Here he was, thinking he had gotten over his shotgun crush and trembling while teaching you to waltz around. Though you had long since forgotten about breaking the curse, you were just curious about how nobles danced.

It was much easier than you were lead to believe. At least the waltzing was, once Klaus started adding extra steps things got a little more complicated. And the music emanating from an old gramophone wasn't helping much. You weren't familiar with slow violins, much less the rest of the stringed instruments.

Yet it was fun, if a little awkward. Everything about the situation flew right over your head. With how relaxed you were with Klaus now, it didn't register as romantic in the slightest. Especially not when you started trying to teach Klaus how you used to dance in your village.

You were more worried that Klaus would lose his balance with how much he was shaking. And it didn't take long for Klaus to stumble over the quick movements... and his tail.

"Are you okay!?"

Tugging on his arm despite the size difference did nothing. Klaus still deeply appreciated the gesture, though he rose slowly.

"Yes, I'm quite alright." Klaus swished his tail sheepishly, "It was merely my tail getting in the way. You would think I'd be used to it by now. Though I must admit that I've never tried dancing this way, nor did I expect the foot movements to be so rapid."

You rubbed the back of your neck, "Yeah, it was kinda fast. But that's just how I learned it. We didn't have classes, just go do it and you'll get the hang of it eventually."

"Seems quite..." Klaus paused, unsure how to phrase it.

"Backwards?" You offered, "You'd think that for a festival they would give us a little instruction. But no, apparently the Duke likes watching people be confused."

Shaking his head slowly, "Shame, he truly sounds like a horrid man. Though I have a sinking feeling that if I returned he would become a completely different person."

"Sadly. But oh well."

Klaus watched as you stretched, still unable to separate his feelings for you and how complex the situation had become. He wasn't merely crushing on a stranger any more, he truly thought of you as a friend. How was he supposed to tell a friend he had fallen in love with them? Truly fallen for them hard.

.

It seemed like forever, but the snow was finally starting to melt. You couldn't help but dread leaving, even with the promise you made. This was too bittersweet. Walking away from Klaus after all this time felt just as wrong as staying had back then.

What were you gonna do?

On the one hand you knew you were more than welcome to stay, regardless what you said. On the other, you tried your best to keep promises when you made them. Breaking this one wouldn't hurt... right?

At the same time, the fact that you weren't meant for this life kept creeping up. You were still a hunter, and all this time you'd left your village alone. Would anyone recognize you? Would they care? Would you be welcomed back as freely as you were welcomed here? Would they blame you for what you weren't there for?

Klaus also knew that the clear skies would likely mean you'd leave. And his own inner turmoil was bubbling to the surface again. Should he ask you to stay? Offer to go with? Plead with you to return?

Tell you how he felt perhaps?

Despite being in the same room, hardly three feet away; you might as well have been on two different planets. Steven and K.K. looked between the two of you with deep sighs.

It seemed obvious, but how long would it take for the two of you to just say something? K.K. absolutely wanted to meddle and convince you to stay, push Klaus into saying how he felt and speed up this process. It wasn't about getting back to normal, K.K. just wanted to see Klaus happy for once.

And maybe she wanted to plan a wedding. She did love throwing parties after all.

Steven however had other things on his mind. Like how Klaus would likely become despondent if you left. Or injured if the beast-man decided to follow you out of here. Either way, it would hurt Klaus in the long run.

But it didn't have to be this way and Steven knew it.

"Klaus?"

"Yes?"

"I've been thinking. About the promise I made..."

Klaus stared, politely as ever. For once it wasn't unnerving, just a bit expectant.

"I-" CRASH

Both of you stood instantly, turning toward the front door. What was going on? Who could possibly be barging in here?

"[NAME]!"

You recognized the voice, barely. Though if you were correct, then... What was he doing here?

"[NAME]! ANSWER ME!"

"[Name]?" Klaus looked so confused, "Do you know who...?"

You were trying to grab something, anything to defend yourself with. Well, really to defend Klaus with, Chaz would never be able to accept a 'tamed beast'.

No matter how many enchanted objects told him it was a curse.

"[NAME]!"

The door you were both facing flew open, and as expected Chaz had his bow out and ready. Instantly aiming for Klaus, no words needed.

"CHAZ!" You shouted, "DON'T SHOOT!"

"[Name], get down. That thing is--"

Klaus could only stand there. Steven, even as a suit of armor, was going to do his duty and protect Klaus. A loosed arrow rang hollow through enchanted metal, none of the staff were really capable of getting injured in this state.

It was stand-still confusion as Chaz's mind raced. You were trying to herd the monster out of the room, away from him. And talking low so he couldn't hear you. This had curse magic written all over it.

Shame that Chaz couldn't put two and two together properly.

.

"[Name]." Klaus was still at a loss, "Who was that?"

Leaning over to see if Chaz had followed, "He's another hunter from the village. Kinda... really obsessed with me. Dunno if its his version of a crush or a rivalry or what, but he won't leave me alone."

That only worried Klaus, though he knew you weren't the one in danger here. He couldn't help but be concerned for you the whole time. The bigger problem at hand was the man who barged in wielding bow and arrow.

And the best Klaus could do was take you through back rooms to hopefully outrun him.

Though it was unlikely that he would leave on his own.

"Stop right there monster."

Klaus instantly froze, regretting going through a main hall at all. His arm held you back, out of the way of danger. Not that you weren't struggling to break free, you knew Chaz wouldn't intentionally hurt you.

And the dumba$$ in question took that to mean you were struggling to escape from Klaus. Loosing an arrow quickly in his half-baked attempts to save you from danger himself.

"KLAUS!"

The arrow pierced his knee deeply, the hiss of pain as Klaus fell to the ground was painful to you. Cutting deep into your heart. Chaz was already notching a second arrow.

"[Name], get away from it! Before it can attack."

That just made your blood boil. Instead of just defending Klaus, shielding him from danger, you yanked a sword from the nearest suit of armor.

"[Name], what's wrong with you? I thought you were fighting against the mind control!?"

"Draw your sword." You spat, "Now."

"[Name], c'mon. Its me. You know me, Chaz. Remember? The guy who-"

"Draw your sword."

Klaus could feel the murderous aura pulsing off you. Chaz could feel it too, backing up a few steps as you descended the stairs.

"Draw your sword, Chaz."

"[Name], I don't want to hurt you."

You weren't going to be so nice, swinging at Chaz with intent to draw blood. Purposefully aiming to miss so he had time to realize just how serious you were.

Sword scraping hard stone, barely inches from where Chaz's foot was three seconds ago. If he hadn't moved then he would be missing an arm.

"Draw your sword."

Shaking badly, Chaz did just that. He only just realized how badly he messed up by not stopping to listen to you earlier.

Steel clashed in a one-sided conflict. Chaz could barely defend himself as you fought. No one was going to endanger Klaus like that, nor disrespect him. Not with you around.

Every swift movement knocked Chaz backward, pushing him out the front door. Blood dribbled from him, your relentless attacking left no room for mistake. Though Chaz kept making them, just barely avoiding the brunt of the damage.

What you couldn't see was how Klaus was transforming. As you fought, he could only stare in amazement. Understanding precisely why you were attacking so harshly, and finding that it made him giddy. Though a little mortified that you would take such drastic measures for him.

It wasn't just Klaus transforming either, Steven and K.K. ran out to the sight of you slashing through fingers and leaving a messy trail of revenge. The look on your face was terrifying, but Klaus was still injured.

And he was a bit more of a top priority.

"[Name]!" Chaz cried out, "I'm sorry! I'll leave! I!"

You stopped suddenly, the darkened look on your face unyielding, "Then get out."

Gathering what little resolve he had left, Chaz opened the door. Running for his life and unsure what to think. This was nothing like the epic rescue he thought this would be. Chaz had been expecting to find you needing his help, not ready to kill for some random beast.

.

You fell to your knees beside the vaguely familiar form at the top of the stairs. Not entirely sure the curse was broken, Klaus still had fangs. But he was still much smaller than before, thought he would still tower over you.

"Klaus?"

His hand felt the same, just a little smaller as it cupped your cheek, "Yes, it's me. I... I don't know what to say really."

"I can fix the suit of armor." You started, "And polishing the sword, scrubbing the floor. Its the least I can do since this is my-"

You were cut off by a soft kiss to your other cheek. Part of you wanted Klaus to despise you for being so violent, part of you wanted him to be upset that you managed to ruin the carpet and stain the stone. Part of you wanted him to punish you in some way for being the reason he got hurt.

But part of you just wanted to stay here and live out the rest of your life with him.

"At the moment," Klaus said slowly, "I'd like to ask that you help me to my room. And perhaps we could finish the conversation from the kitchen."

[cariantha]

Please, do share something about Braving the Elements! Adore you to the moon and back, darling Cari. ❤️️

Hi my lovely Lin! 💕

I'm actually really excited about this one. This fic (or maybe mini-series) might be my next project after I finish the next round of edits for my Intern Year series.

It's set during Book 1 and depicts some of the times that Sawyer is at Ethan's place helping with Naveen's case.

FALL - WIND : Their research session is done for the night. Ethan waits with Sawyer in the lobby until the car he's called for her arrives. The winds outside are really strong. When the car arrives, she says goodnight and steps outside. She's hit with a large piece of debris before making it to the car. Ethan rushes to her rescue. And well basically, they play "doctor" that night.

WINTER - SNOW: During a leg-stretch break, Sawyer looks out the window and comments on the heavy snowfall. Ethan doesn't bother to look up, because Sawyer always thinks any amount of snow is a lot. Coming from AZ/SoCal, she doesn't have a lot of experience with snowstorms. When it's time for her to finally go home, Ethan realizes that she wasn't exaggerating this time. It's really coming down outside. He insists she stay the night and sets her up in his guest room. From there they have a few charged encounters.

SPRING - RAIN (after Miami): Sawyer is on her way to Ethan's when she witnesses an accident. She stops to help the injured and it starts raining hard. She arrives at his door soaked to the bone and shivering. He offers her a warm shower, dry clothes and hot tea. And let's just say there ends up being a reverse Miami/shower/towel/mirror event.

SUMMER - HEAT: I've been wanting to add one more element to this series, and as I sat here and thought about it, an idea finally popped into my head. So, I'm thinking maybe the fire alarm goes off in Ethan's building. Two ideas: 1) a hunky firefighter starts coming on to Sawyer and it stirs about some jealous Ethan, or 2) Raf shows up on scene and catches Sawyer at Ethan's place and she has to figure out how to explain what she's doing there.🤔

[stainlesssteellocust]

Rambling about fictional food. Again

Love the stuff about the alfar figuring out magic in prehistory, even before they learned proper speech

Just imagine them ripping open multiverse-spanning portals to find more berries and storing their food in Flintstones-ass temporal stasis grids it’s so funny

Being able to preserve your food with time-freezing is interesting, actually, especially when you consider how that might have affected other methods of food preservation. Yes you can make British-style jokes about them knocking over nations for spices, but it goes beyond that.

I wouldn’t be surprised if salting and smoking etc was originally done by slaves or other poor, marginalised alfar groups who weren’t able to use large amounts of mana. Slower, less reliable, ‘dirtier’ practices. Over the millennia the others would have noticed ‘huh that tastes good’ but it would still be a minor part of their cuisine for quite a while, so some of their stuff, especially low-quality snacks or rations, might be quite bland. This tracks: While she never mentions human food being better on average, First considers alfar time-stoppered military rations to be…not great, and is much happier eating a late night kebab while sober, which, er, wow lol.

Generally speaking I reckon the Host (or rather, the support structures they left behind to die) generated their own food, so mostly the stuff you can grow in a borderline-arctic nation…though considering greenhouses, biomodding and other forms of Literal Magic, who knows what they might have?

I have a vague thought that high-class alfar meals might be focused on minimally prepared and extremely fresh basic ingredients as a show of cleanliness and quality, with much of the flavour coming from sauces and condiments added at the eating stage. A steak that was time-frozen moments after being carved off the animal, still steaming from the beast’s body heat as it’s flung into a pan in front of you…the meat itself is unseasoned, or hit with salt and pepper etc moments before cooking, but the flavour comes from the multiple sauces and dips that are served along with it, which probably draw from alfar poor-people food roots somewhere way back in history.

I already figured they’d have slaves gather pure snow in winter to be magically preserved and used to make a shaved ice sort of thing as a summer dessert, it’s in one of the Cold Iron Bound drafts. Of course the elves are absolutely sophisticated enough to just freeze water in the summer, they just send the help to dodge monsters because they can. Absolute unhinged decadence.

Are there any strange holes in their knowledge? We know they don’t have paper, are some foods the same? Maybe, due to the preservation stuff mentioned above, they don’t really have cheese the way we do? In a cold European climate they probably did drink milk, but they might not have progressed that vital technology to the same degree as us. Cassie might look at blue cheese and be like “absolutely not that’s disgusting”, repulsed even though, as I said in a previous post, I’m not convinced she has a cannibalism taboo.

On the flipside, maybe they still have Silphium. They have a lot of extinct animals, after all. Cue Cassie badgering Alex to learn how to cook with Hing, since it’s the closest thing left. Poor guy. He doesn’t strike me as a kitchen natural but considering First finds cooking your own food to be actively bizarre, I think it’s probably going to be on him lol.

I reckon they have spices. Even in antiquity we were able to get some. Of course we don’t know what trade looks like on Alfheim (they want to call us Urukheim so) or how the Americas interact with Eurasia or anything, really. But the Morningstar Empire extends to Africa and into Russia, so they’ve got the grasp for it. And Cassie was ‘easy’ when they were talking Indian food IIRC, so I think she implicitly has some spice tolerance. Yeah not all Indian food is like that but it suggests she wasn’t limited by an inability to eat it.

…Maybe, considering their stoicism and hatred of emotional weakness, the elves one-upped each other by handling incredibly spicy food back home.

*cut to Cassie in a Thai restaurant, desperately maintaining a poker face while trying to convince Alex to swap dishes with her as if he can’t see the tears running down her face*

Alex: Look Cass I’m happy to walk through a sketchy portal with you, I’ll kill your family for you, I’ll eat and shoot and beat people to death for your sake, but you chose the spice level and you’re going to have to live with that decision

and yeah they totally eat their enemies hearts and stuff too

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Tuesday 15.. January 1839

7 ¾

12 ½

highwish wind in the night and windy this morning – the ground sprinkled over with snow F37° inside at 8 50 and 38° outside at 9 20 the sun being out – Had written my note to ‘Mr. Mackean, Yorkshire district Bank, Halifax’ and went down to breakfast at 9 20 in ½ hour and at my desk at 9 50 – my note to McK- enclosing 2 checks 1 for Mr. Gray = £460 for A- and myself and one to Messrs. William and Francis Ponty (Huddersfield) = £8.12.0 – at accounts till about 11 when A- came for me to go down to Mr. Adam – all a mistake about the lease – but P. and A. will engage to get one or [two] to quit Mr. Lister at their own expense – A- proposed a Mr. Aked as a likely person to look after A-‘s cottages in H-x- good – I advised her to try him at once – they have written to Mr. Bull for the papers I desired to have but are uncertain if I can claim them before paying the bill – should claim them at the time of paying – then stood talking to A- till 12 25 (Mr. A- went away at 11 ¾) having dictated note to Washington to value A- wrote note to SW. to value the hay and dilapidations at the tan house farm – she gave the matter to Mr. Adam to settle with Thwaite of Mr. Rawsons’ Bank – then had the chimney sweeper to see if we had any chimneys to sweep and paid him his bill of 24/. for sweeping 24 minutes at the Northgate hotel as allowed by Mr. Harper – then had A- till 12 50 – off with her at 1 and walked with her in ½ hour as far as the turnpike then left her to go forwards to Cliff hill, and I turned up to Sunwood quarry – Jack Green there getting fence wall stuff and helping George to loaden the same – then to Listerwick – found Robert Mann there – he had been at the hall all the morning about making up the pipes at the north west corner of the west tower – so done that we can easily taken up a flag – get to and force them whenever necessary – took Robert down to the meer to settle about getting the scale there from Listerwick cabin near the water wheel – settled to cart it along Charles Howarths’ field – ordered 20 yards of 1ft. square drain to be made immediately, and to lie under the culvert of the new clow – took Robert round the meer and to the house at 3 20 just after John footman had set off with the 2 ponies (1st time – A- says he did very well – her ride did her good) to Cliff hill for A- then Robert and I looking about the hay-barn and thereabouts – he thinks he could get water into the paddock for the cattle with very little trouble – for £3 or £4 – well then said I, you shall do it – sent Robert off to Turners’ to see about some large fence stuff out of which we might get covers for the meer-drain – came in before 5 – dressed wrote to Mr. Gray with the credit for £460 i.e. £160 on A-‘s account and £300 on my own – i.e. ½ years 4p.c. interest on £1500 due today to the Misses Preston – A- wrote under my letter that her £160 was included in my draft due to Mr. Gray (William senior) today, and that she should be glad to pay the whole principal (£8,000) with the interest next July – then wrote to Messrs. Pontey on the back of the credit payable at the Yorkshire District bank at Huddersfield = £8.12.0 being the amount of their bill from 7 April 1837 to 23 April 1838 – Gave A- to put into the bag my letter to ‘William Gray junior Esquire, Minster yard, York’ and my letter to ‘Messrs. William and Francis Pontey, nurserymen seedsman etc. Kirkheaton Huddersfield post paid’ – dinner at 6 5 – Letter from Mr. Browne artist York to say the next no. of his work on the minster will be out in March – needs be no haste to pay for our tow 1st nos. already received – Letter also 3pp. and under the seal from M- Lawton – she seems pleased with the pen and book knife, and prudently lays aside her scolding style – thinks she shall probably be able to come here before we leave home again - £400 worth of damage done to York minster – no mention of Mr. WC. or the letter or newspaper forwarded (from him) from here – everybody advises her to read Oliver Twist – Mr. Ford has to their great comfort resigned the £300 a year living of Lawton and Mr. Lawton has given it to a young Mr. Tipping – A- read her 2pp. French – coffee and I had read the paper at 9 10 then till 9 ½ wrote all but the 1st 18 lines of today – then skimming over reading the few first chapters of Genesis till near 11, A- writing her journal – then stood talking till came upstairs at 10 55 at which hour F36° inside – wild windy cold day – no William Keighley as he promised – I suppose he thought it too windy to do anything among the trees – F30 ½° outside at 11 ¼ pm – on going to A- found cousin come   sat up preparing napkin for morning and put on stocking tonight

[jeanjauthor]

There was also a study done on socialization a few decades back. It was based on population density and tracked the individual interactions of certain groups of snow monkeys of Japan. Those monkey troops that were less than a certain amount (it was a long time ago, so I know it was less than 200 for sure, but might have been 100 or less), each individual had positive individual interactions & relationships with just about every other monkey in the troop.

In contrast, in the monkey populations that were over 1,000 (as could be found in wildlife sanctuary areas near hotsprings in Japan), it was found that specific snow monkeys only actually interacted with about 30 other monkeys at most, outside of their own immediate blood-related family group. Individuals in such large, densely populated colonies actually ignored each other as much as possible, outside of that tight circle of interactivity.

Individuals had their own "inner circles" that overlapped somewhat like chainmail, so that the colony as a whole was integrated, not fractioned. But overall, they interacted with far fewer members of the massive colony on an individual monkey-to-monkey basis than those living with barely a hundred or two in their whole colony.

This was decades ago, and it was speculated that the high density of the populations in the large colonies were too stressful, so rather than risking getting into a fight--because the monkeys couldn't know who in the crowd might be a friend of their target, charging in to help, versus who might remain indifferent--it was simply safer to politely ignore most everyone else.

And honestly, that spoke volumes to me as a human being.

In our increasingly crowded cities and suburban sprawls, it is getting harder and harder to make friends. I hear the doubt and hesitation in "Oh, I don't want to bother my neighbors; they look so busy with their own lives."

Meanwhile, in rural communities, everybody knows everybody else's business. And it seems intrusive AF to a city-dweller, but in a city, your survival depends partially on, well, "herd immunity"...the concept that if a big bad disaster happens, you might survive, because there are so many others to be "picked off" by said disaster, like lions hunting zebras or whatever. (Keep in mind that this is primal hindbrain thinking, not what will actually happen. It's a primal survival instinct that we don't have much in the way of conscious control over.)

Meanwhile, in the very small monkey troops, every single member is needed to survive!! It's very tribal-oriented. You have That Guy Who Can Fix Tractors, and That Gal Who Can Successfully Pressure Can Anything, and The Kid Who Makes Dogs Leave The Chickens Alone who you ask to come over to train your dog so he stops harassing your neighbor's ducks, and you have that skill that Can Repair Any Garment To Keep It Lasting Longer. And you all need each other, so you all work together, even if you occasionally have spats.

You have to get along, because you don't have gazillions of neighbors you can buck up your courage to go ask for help.

(Please note that if feuds do crop up, it can be devastating to a rural community. Most folks do their best not to let things get to that point, but it helps to understand the local culture to know What To Bond Over And Mend Those Fences with, socially.) (...Pie probably helps. Or at least doesn't hurt too much.)

It was kind of interesting to me that out of all the people in our training group, the ones that were the quickest to form social bonds were the people from way out in the country and the city people just kind of quietly kept to themselves.

But I was definitely accepted as one of the bumpkins.