#I might have done a large amount of snow

[cityofjimmy]

I’m drunk and high and I had no idea straight guys on tinder where trying to be bi, but here I am.

[irisintheafterglow]

a snowball collides with the glass doors leading to the backyard of the rental house, a dull thunk the only disturbance to your afternoon peace. you hear an apologetic sorry, babe! from a familiar figure bundled in a black coat, gloves, and red hat.

"was that a snowball or a bear?" tsukki grumbles from the other side of the huge L-shaped couch. his forearm is thrown over his eyes, glasses abandoned on the nearest side table. until a minute ago, he was actually able to get a little bit of rest after the boys in his room were talking nonsense until three in the morning.

"snowball, though it might as well been thrown by a bear. volleyball players and your arms and such," you reply without looking up from your book. tsukki grunts in assent and you fall back into a comfortable silence.

besides the occasional screams of triumph from the boys brawling with snowballs outside, your surroundings are serenely calm. since you woke up, a continuous powdering of snow fell on the trees, the roof, and the outside deck. with the more energetic boys declaring war on each other via snowballs, you and the calmer holiday-goers decided to make hot chocolate and watch the time creep by.

"i finally found it," akaashi announces as he returns to the living room, holding up the book he'd been digging around his bag for. "it was buried under bokuto's ungodly amount of socks."

"you sure it wasn't a few of your socks as well, considering how you've begun sharing clothing?" your eyebrows raise in amusement at the hoodie that was definitely not his, loudly printed with a huge owl with glowing yellow eyes. akaashi tended to wear more subdued clothing (and never such a large print), so there was only one other inhabitant of the house that could own the sweater...

"look at the pot calling the kettle black. at least mine doesn't have his name labeled on the sleeve," he fires back teasingly. you concede the battle with a defeated shake of your head. you're indeed wearing a crewneck that isn't yours, curled up in your cushioned corner and surrounded by a heinous amount of throw pillows. the sweatshirt is a washed out crimson, adorned with a single silhouette of a black cat and a label on the back that reads 'property of nekoma volleyball club.' the captain's name and number is embroidered on the right sleeve, a customized early christmas present that ended up being a gift for yourself. "it even says you're nekoma property on the back."

"i am no one's property, and he'll be the first to tell you that," you correct and akaashi shrugs before settling next to you on the couch. "trade me that when you're done with it?" you ask, nodding to the book in his hands, a stray fast food receipt barely marking a tenth of the way in.

"if i get done with it," he scowls. "the main characters are burning so slow, i'm gonna be fifty by the time they hold hands."

"and i will be decaying in a casket by the time i achieve peace and quiet." tsukki's voice comes out as a deadpanned grumble and you share a guilty look with akaashi, poorly hiding your smiles. "finally some quiet..."

his declaration of serenity is cut short by the sliding door abruptly being thrown open, and the participants in the snowball war piling back inside.

"guess who won the greatest fight since the trash battle!" the third year setter from karasuno, sugawara, stomps into the cabin while the rest of his teammates cheer and boast of their victory. they overrun the kitchen and fight over the last mugs of hot chocolate, scavenging for fistfuls of mini marshmallows.

"totally unfair, bokuto kept switching sides," lev grumbled while shaking the snow from his boots. "he was playing for us and then jumped ship."

"it's not my fault they were getting beaten so badly in the beginning," bokuto shrugs with his palms up in surrender. "i consider my presence an attempt to fix the playing field, not an advantage." you scooch closer to the armrest as bokuto joins akaashi on the couch, draping an arm around his shoulders with practiced ease.

"it's barely an advantage when you and hinata alone could have been your own team," konoha points out. you tune out the rest of the boys' bickering, a grin growing on your face once the very last volleyball player re-enters the cabin. he tosses his hair from side to side and particles of snow fly off like cat hair before finding you.

"hey beautiful," tetsurou murmurs, leaning over the side of the couch to plant a kiss on your cheek. his face is freezing in stark contrast to the warmth radiating from the fire. "miss me?"

"terribly," you reply, nudging your nose against his. there were still tiny snowflakes on his nose bridge and you brush them off with your sleeve. "heard you got your ass kicked in a snowball fight."

"it was a draw," he dodges and you chuckle. "i like that sweater on you."

"yeah, my boyfriend's a captain," you not-so-humbly brag and his smile grows wider. you'd never seen someone's eyes sparkle before you met him. "he's pretty hot, too. even after spending an hour in the snow."

"he sounds like a pretty great guy." he leans in to kiss you properly but is suddenly yanked away by another resident of the house.

"stop being cute, i wanna play uno!" bokuto booms, dragging your boyfriend to the game cabinet so he can reach the top-most shelf.

"can we put stakes on it? makes it more fun." noya practically bounces off the leather couch ottoman, a mug of hot chocolate steaming in his hand.

"losers have to cold-plunge in the lake," tsukki suggests, unblinking, with an evil glint in his eye.

"shoyo would probably die, i think," a mortified yamaguchi responds. that's the point, tsukki's face explains wordlessly.

"what about losers have to make dinner?"

"well that's not fair, because crows would be making dinner two nights in a row," akaashi innocently points out, but the jab is not lost on any of you. "yeah, i do think i can beat daichi--"

"this game seems a little too aggressive for me," asahi mutters. "can i team with the other third-years?"

"that's not how uno works, my friend. no mercy for anyone," sugawara says, patting his fellow crow sympathetically on the shoulder. "not even kageyama, who i don't think has ever played this game."

"who the hell said i needed mercy?"

"winning players get the master suite," your boyfriend decides with an expression that the others didn't dare contest. "for the rest of the trip." that sends a noticeable ripple of excitement through the players, the raised stakes pinning the bullseye on their competitive natures. you raise your eyebrows in amusement and tetsurou's eyes darken in a look that you know all too well.

he desired total victory, and he didn't play when it came to you.

[bucketsofmonsters]

I was wondering, in Proper Etiquette (my favourite of your writings) Reader is wearing dresses and corsets all the time (which is Wonderful and corsets are Not Evil Actually they're literally a bra that supports the weight of heavy layers of skirts BUT I DIGRESS) but how would Rygel react to his wife, feeling a little cold as fall comes along, asks to have a sweater like he's wearing and some warm pants or a wool skirt and petticoat to wear with the sweater, rather than her usual fine clothes that clearly aren't built for the weather in her new home

You’re so real for the corset thing, I will defend corsets until the day I die. Also sorry this took me forever

Rygel ran hot. You were well aware of that fact by now. Every time you pressed up against him he radiated heat, more than any person you’d ever been near, although to be fair you didn’t have much of a frame of reference. 

What had taken a bit longer was realizing they all did. 

When you’d first arrived it had been summer, a little colder than the summers you were accustomed to, but nothing too severe. 

But then winter had come, and with it, something unfamiliar to you. With it came the snow. 

It was a perfect coincidence for them because while they seemed largely comfortable in the cold of your new home, you were not. You were instead accustomed to a little rain in the winter, maybe some cold winds, but nothing an extra layer or two couldn’t combat. 

This was far from that. At first, the snow had been delightful. You’d only ever heard stories and caught glimpses of it on the peaks of faraway mountains, but here it was all around you. 

As the novelty faded, it became a bit more of a problem. 

You tried what you’d always done, adding layers and bundling up, but you just didn’t have enough. Nothing you had was built for this kind of cold and it wasn’t like you could borrow clothes from someone, you’d drown in the sheer amount of fabric.

So instead you stood, bundled under layers that were helpless against the biting cold. You’d barely been outside for a few minutes before you’d rushed back into the warmth of your room but the cold had settled in your bones and couldn’t be snuffed out so easily. 

Your jaw was clenched to stop your teeth from chattering, your whole body wound tight, trying to preserve what little heat you had. 

“I’m not built for this,” you said with a huff as you collapsed backward onto your bed, wrapping yourself in blankets. 

Rygel huffed out a laugh from his desk, his attention still focused on whatever he was reading. “Not built for what?”

“Winter. Not here at least. I think I might go into hibernation.”

He froze, eyes widening before he turned to you. “Oh my god, you’re cold. Of course you are, I should’ve prepared for this.”

You cut him off. “No, I’m fine, really. I’ve been keeping inside as much as I can, the layers have been helping, it’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

He did not seem convinced. “We don’t have any clothes that’ll fit you. Hell, we don’t have warm enough clothes anyway. Shit. You should’ve told me.” His words were dripping with concern as the full implications of his mistake hit him. 

“Rygel,” you said, trying to cut through the worry and reassure him. “I’m fine, really, it’s not a big deal. I can stay inside for a season, god knows there’s more than enough fires and blankets in this place to keep me warm.”

“I should have realized. I forget how fragile your kind are, I should have seen this coming, gotten you some real clothes. As much as I love those dresses, we have to get you in some furs. ”

 “We are not fragile, you are just all far too sturdy. And besides, I like my dresses.”

“Mmhmm,” he hummed dismissively with a smile. “Sure we are. I really should have been more careful with you though. Your safety is more important than anything. I will keep you warm if it’s the last thing I do, even if we do have to cover up those pretty little dresses. Now, how will I ever manage to keep you warm until we can get you some better-suited clothes?”

You climbed onto his lap, ducking underneath his shirt, and pressed up close to him, absorbing his heat as you felt a chuckle run through his chest. “Maybe I shouldn’t get you warm clothes,” he said as a steady arm wrapped around you. “I think I prefer this.”

You hummed in agreement. “Plus it’s very dignified.”

His hand scooped under you, lifting you while keeping you close to him. “Very.”

You happily nuzzled further into his chest and he returned to his work, his arm still firmly wrapped around you. You were sure he’d find something for you, get you warmer clothes and make sure you were safe and warm and happy. His concern more than convinced you of that. 

And when all else failed, at least your husband ran hot.

[lincolndjarin]

Best Kept Secret

chapter one : honeymoon (RE-UPLOAD)

ao3 link �� series masterlist ✩ main masterlist ✧

A/N : i had to change accounts so this is a re-upload of my ongoing fic bks!!

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 6.7k

summary : you've been married off to a far away prince, turns out, he isn't your prince charming. however he did gift you a bodyguard as a wedding present.

warnings, etc. : arranged marriage, language

Absurd.

That is the only word that comes to mind as you stare at yourself in the mirror. “His favorite color is blue.” That’s what they had told you when they adorned you with the gaudy sapphire jewelry. “He’s going to love this.” That’s what they had told you as they pinned your hair into uncomfortable curls, braiding in unfamiliar flowers. They were horrendous, far too large and the smell of them nauseated you, or maybe that was just the nerves, who knows. If you were fortunate enough maybe you would discover a surprise allergy to the flowers and your throat would close and your face would turn blue. You wondered if the prince would like that.

Blue had once been a comforting color but not this blue. This blue was intense, harsh, hard to stare at for too long. Nothing like the blue that made you think of home. On the rare days where the snow stopped falling briefly and the sky was clear, Hoth was beautiful. The blue back home was quiet. The color of the sky seemed to swallow the snow and everything became one soft mix of periwinkle. This is not that. This is loud and garish.  

  The two girls who had been dressing you took a step back and smiled at you waiting for approval as you took in the sight of yourself in the floor length mirror. The dress itself was beautiful, if accompanied by tasteful accessories you might have actually found yourself almost nice to look at. A simple off the shoulder satin gown. On anyone else you were sure it would be absolutely stunning but it was so hot here, nobody had told you it would be this hot. The dress felt as though it was sticking to your skin, you hated the way it made you feel like you were trapped in some sort of fabric prison. But even with the thin sheen of sweat covering every inch of you it was the rest of the ensemble that made you look like you were supposed to be attending some sort of costume party, and not your own wedding. To say that the amount of accessories was excessive would be an understatement. Bracelets, bangles, arm bands, several tacky necklaces, even an anklet you couldn’t even see under the gown. All of the sapphires were so bright they seemed to glow, if you swayed your arms fast enough it almost mimicked the sight of hyperspace. The two ladies-in-waiting who had been assigned to you started to give each other nervous looks as you purse your lips silently taking in the ridiculous blue eyeshadow that adorned your otherwise unmade up face. The young Togruta girl speaks up first.

“Is everything to your liking ma’am?” 

No. You look like you should be working in a pleasure house, not marrying a prince.

But the anxiety in her voice is enough to soften your gaze as you speak what might be the first words to leave your mouth since you landed on Naboo. It seemed like everyone was comfortable speaking for you and you knew none of them cared what you had to say so why bother.

“You two have done a wonderful job… thank you.” You turned around to face them, giving them the warmest smile you could muster considering the circumstances. The relief on their faces as you spoke gave you more comfort than you’d had in days. “I am truly grateful to have such wonderful staff, thank you for making me feel so at home. I’m sorry I didn’t catch your names earlier?” 

“I am Elaine and this is Lysa.” The Togruta girl is the one who speaks up again, pointing to herself and then to the human girl. They both smiled as they turned you back towards the mirror and began to do last minute touch ups. You all stood in silence once more until Lysa spoke.

“You look so lovely, he is going to adore you.” She spoke softly, almost as if it was meant more for her own comfort than it was for yours as she straightened a flower in your hair.

He. That was how they referred to him. Nobody spoke of him other than to tell you how lucky you were, and how grateful you should be for this opportunity. No one described him to you in the slightest. No one even said his name, you were pretty sure it started with a “K.” Your betrothed was nothing more than a stranger. And as you stared at yourself in the mirror once more that was what you saw. A stranger. You didn’t recognize the woman in your reflection. She was not the young princess from Hoth, she was simply an item to entertain this “he.” Dolled up to be more appealing for a man she had never even met, adorned in his favorite color to make her more attractive to a man she had already decided she did not care for. 

“What is he like?” You cocked your head slightly as you deliberately observed the girls facial expressions for a reaction, you immediately regretted that decision because of the glance they gave each other. It was enough to make you not want to know the answer so you quickly stammer out another question. “What does he look like?” The Togruta girl clears her throat, you make a mental note that out of the two girls she seems to be the voice. 

“He is very handsome, my lady.” She straightens out your dress one last time and they both take a step back and observe you. “He dresses very well. Just like most of the royal family he has very defined features, striking blue eyes.”

“Oh yes my lady, he is very well known for his beautiful blue eyes.” The human girl smiles at you as she speaks nervously standing behind her partner now. A small part of you started to pray that his favorite color was not blue simply because that was the color of his eyes. They both seem to be struggling to come up with any other defining features of your intended which doesn’t exactly put you at ease. 

“He is also blonde.” Elaine chimes in with a reassuring smile as you watch your reflection frown.

You had always had a preference for brunettes. 

✩

He could be worse. 

That was what you had to keep reminding yourself as you sat now in the large dining hall, it seemed like everyone was laughing and chatting it up except for you. The seat to your left reserved for your husband was empty, you could see him in the crowd toasting with a group of men you assumed were cousins or brothers purely based on the physical similarities. Honestly you wouldn’t be able to tell your husband apart from the rest of them if he wasn’t wearing that horrendous electric blue suit. Your table at the back of the room, facing the rest of the hall, was empty. Save for you and Leodall. 

After your husband had so graciously run off after the ceremony to chat it up with his friends or whatever it was that was apparently much more important than you, you were walked to the reception by an orange Twi’lek who introduced himself as your personal servant, Leodall, Leo for short. No one seemed to even glance at you as they began to take to the dance floor. Of course your loving husband didn’t ask you to dance, why would he when he seemed to be taking the hand of a rather pretty red headed girl and wrapping his arms around her waist, laughing as they began to sway to the music. Prince Kodo Harand. That was his name, at least that is what the priest had said during the ceremony. He had given you a rather cocky “hello” once you had walked down the aisle, and he had kissed you with far more tongue than you would have liked, and now you sat alone. Princess Harand. Lucky you. And of course your family wasn’t here to keep you company, you don’t even think they were invited, why would they be? This wedding had nothing to do with you, it had everything to do with finding someone of royal descent to marry the prince of Naboo in exchange for trade deals. You wondered if there had ever been someone who felt as lonely as you did right now, at their own wedding. 

“Leo?” You turned to where he was standing directly behind you. He was also staring at the prince with a rather annoyed look on his face.

“Yes my lady?” He turned his gaze to you. He was far too serious for someone who only seemed to be a few years older than you were.

“I am getting rather tired, I should like to retire to my chambers.” 

You also should like to not watch my husband dance with some of the most gorgeous girls you’ve ever seen. Seems like he has found a rather attractive brunette now to keep him company on the dance floor. Leo looks to the prince and then back to you.

“It is rather early my lady… perhaps you could stay just a bit longer? It is after all your wedding.”

“Is it?” You couldn’t help but raise your eyebrows at him, gesturing to the empty chairs surrounding you. Before he could object you stood and began marching towards the exit. 

“My lady! Perhaps you might enjoy some refreshments! And perhaps you might reconsider your early departure!” Even in the gown you were more agile than him as you weaved through the crowds, waving off muttered “congratulations.” Once through the large doors of the great hall you felt as though you could finally breathe. The halls out here were dark, a few guards seemed to be passing around a flask but they immediately straightened up as they saw you, you pretended not to see them, hoping they might resume they’re drinking. After all, someone should have fun at your wedding. You lifted your skirt slightly and tried to remember where your room was as Leo finally caught up to you.

“Was it right or left…?” You stare down the nearly identical hallways as you hear two sets of footsteps approaching you.

“Wife! Where are you off to? I have a wedding present for you!” How fortunate that you married someone with such a distinct, nasally voice so you can plaster on a faux smile before you face him. You turned to see a disgruntled Leo following behind Kodo. Great. Your clearly drunk husband has a present for you on your wedding night. You have to physically resist rolling your eyes as he takes your hand and begins dragging you towards your chambers, Leo stumbling to keep up with you.

“Are you sure this cannot wait until tomorrow dear husband?” It’s unlikely he’ll want to put this off but there’s no shame in trying. 

“No no no… trust me you are going to love this…” 

Well he certainly is confident in his abilities.

He stumbles through the many confusing halls of the castle until arriving at your door, stopping just outside. He opens the door just a crack and peers inside before shutting it again, putting his hands on your shoulders, a big dopey grin on his face as he drunkenly slurs. 

“I must be getting back to the party my dear wife but your present is inside, I left you a little note on your vanity.” He leans forward and gives you a sloppy kiss, you do your best not to recoil.

“I’m sorry? I don’t quite understand?” You managed to pull him off you long enough to speak. But he’s already walking away.

“Do not fret, wife, you will love it. I will see you at dinner in a few days!” He yells over his shoulder before rushing back down to the party. You turn to stare at Leo who is just as shocked as you are as you can’t help but double over in laughter.

“Is he serious?” You’re laughing so hard you’re practically crying, Leo doesn’t seem to find the situation as funny as you do. You wipe a tear from your lash line as you straighten up. “If our marriage is anything like today has been I suppose it shall not be all that bad.” You manage to say through your laughter. He doesn’t speak, he simply opens the doors to your chambers for you, placing his hand on your back to usher you inside.

“I suppose I should not have expected any less of our prince.” Leo mutters as he closes the door behind the two of you he begins lighting the lamps around the dark room. “Shall I summon your ladies-in-waiting to help you undress my lady?” You open your mouth to answer but you’re stopped dead in your tracks as you stare at the suit of armor in the center of the room. The mannequin it appears to be resting on is rather tall. You can’t help but stare at the way the lamp light flickers against the Beskar. A Mandalorian statue? What an odd gift. You instinctively walk towards it as you mumble.

“That won’t be necessary… it is late, do not wake them, I can do it myself.” Leo looks as if he is about to protest but the note on the vanity catches his eye, he holds it between two fingers and begins to read it to himself as you stand directly in front of the armor now, your fingers raised to trace one of the gauntlets. “It certainly is a beautiful set of armor… I just don’t understand what exactly he wants me to do with it.” You run your hands across the chestplate, admiring the fine craftsmanship before you turn to face Leo, a concerned look on your face. 

This better not be a weird sex thing.

“He doesn’t expect me to wear it, does he? Is this some sort of weird fetish of his?” You find yourself looking back to the armor nervously. “It’s far too large for me… I think I would look rather foolish, like a child wearing her mothers clothing...” You bring a hand up to the helmet, a small shiver running down your spine as you stare into the lifeless visor. 

“Princess… perhaps you should wait a moment.” Leo stares at the note for a moment more before his mouth opens slightly to speak again as he gives you a warning look. But it is too late, you lift the helmet a fraction of an inch and let out a startled shriek as the armor shifts to grab both of your arms in one large hand, pulling your hand back down.

“Don’t.”

 The voice that comes from the modulator is low, it is gentle with you but is by no means joking as he releases his grip on your arm you stumble backwards. 

“Maker! You scared me half to death.” You bring your hand up to your chest as Leo rushes to your side to stabilize you, you stare at the Mandalorian in surprise for a moment before your gaze turns angry and you poke a finger into his chest. “What is your problem! Why didn’t you say something!?” He only shrugs in response.

“I was instructed not to speak to you until you read the note.” 

Bastard. 

Leo leans forward to whisper to you.

“It should appear that the prince has hired the Mandalorian to be your personal bodyguard, my lady.” Leo’s voice shakes as he stares up at the intimidating silhouette of the armored man but you are not so easily swayed, clearing your throat as you speak.

“You are dismissed Leo.” Your eyes never leave the steel visor.

“My lady, are you sure it is wise-”

“If my husband deems him fit to protect me then he is fit to protect me. Unless of course you are questioning the prince’s judgment?” You turn to glare at the Twi’lek who is now nervously tugging at the sleeves of his shirt. He does nothing but stare back at you for what feels like minutes until he finally sighs and makes a beeline for the door.

“As you wish, my lady. Ring for me if you require anything.” He closes the door and you turn back to the Mandalorian, who unsurprisingly hasn’t moved an inch, other than the way his helmet seems to shake ever so slightly but you ignore it as you walk over to your vanity, crumpling up the note and tossing it in the bin before starting to remove your jewelry, setting the ugly pieces onto the table.

“So what exactly is your job?” You don’t give him the courtesy of facing him, not after he scared you like that. 

“It was all written in the note.” 

It’s annoying how unbothered he sounds. You take off the last piece of jewelry, lifting your skirt and raising your leg to rest your foot on the ottoman to unclasp the anklet, you swear you see his helmet tilt in your direction in the mirror, but when you turn to face him he is in the same position, staring at the wall.

“I don’t care about the note. I want to hear it from you.” You fetch yourself a nightgown as you step behind the screen next to the vanity, carefully slipping out of the dress, out of sight of the Mandalorian.

“My job is to make sure you are not harmed.” He speaks so quietly you’re surprised the modulator even picks up his voice. Once dressed you step out from behind the screen and take a seat at the vanities mirror, wearing a gray silk nightgown. It’s fancier than what you’d usually wear but it doesn’t seem like they bothered to unpack any of your clothes you brought from home. You silently pray that they didn’t throw them away.

“So you just… follow me around?” You can feel the frown forming as you begin to carefully remove the now wilting flowers from your hair.

“Yes.” 

Not much of a talker this guy.

“Actually I’m good.” Your voice is snippy and you know you’re being a bit blunt but you’ve had a rough day. Finally, he deliberately moves, his head turning to watch as you undo the pin curls, your hair falling down in waves as you do.

“Excuse me?” Finally, some sign of emotion. Even if it is a twinge of anger.

“Can you not hear through the helmet? I’m good. I’ve already got an ensemble of people trailing me. I don’t need another.” You rifle through the drawers until you find a rag to wipe the makeup from your eyes before turning around to stare at him. “You’re dismissed.” 

“You don’t have the authority to dismiss me.” His voice is tense, if you could see his face you were sure he’d be scowling. It’s good to know he is capable of emotion. Even better to know it isn’t difficult to rile him up.

“I don’t know if you know this but I just married the eldest son of the king and queen. That makes me the future queen, I’m pretty sure I have the authority to do whatever I please.” You hadn’t said those words aloud until now, you hadn’t even thought them. It lifted a weight off your shoulders, somehow it made things a bit easier, to know that despite this entire situation you found yourself in that at the very least you found yourself in a position of power.

“I don’t know if you know this, but I have direct orders from the eldest son of the king and queen to not let you out of my site from the moment you leave this room until you return to it.” He mocks your tone exactly as he crosses his arms.

Shit. He’s got you there. Did Kodo have to pick this man to guard you?

“Well… I’m in this room now. So I don’t require your presence. You may go.” You wish you could come up with something more witty but you're tired, you just want to be alone, to have a single moment to try and process what a whirlwind these last few days have been. You swear you hear an annoyed huff come through his modulator. 

“I’ll see you in the morning.” His voice is sharp and he speaks with a finality that makes you want to argue further.

But he doesn’t give you time to respond. He simply leaves. Once he is gone you rush to the door to lock it and begin to dim all the lamps in the room. In the pale light you stare at the comically large bed and your stomach drops. For the first time since arriving on Naboo you feel cold. The idea of spending your wedding night in such a big bed alone makes you feel sick. Were the ceilings of this room always so high? You find yourself opening the closet. It’s the size of your room back home, it’s perfect. All of the fabric of the unfamiliar clothes that were now yours made it quiet, and soft, and warm. You grabbed a lamp from one of the many small tables around the room, (who needs this many tables?) and bring it to the closet, closing the door behind you as you rummage through the many drawers until you find one full of blankets and pillows, making yourself a nest before settling down in it. It was just as comfortable as your bed back home and you wrapped yourself around one of the larger pillows.

You wanted to cry. 

You should be crying but you're not. You’re just staring at the flickering lamp. There were a million things you could think about to make yourself cry but at this point it wasn’t even worth it. You’re tired, and there will be plenty of time for crying later, after all this was your life now. So instead you closed your eyes and pretended you weren’t here at all, that you were back home, and you weren’t completely alone, your many siblings were just down the hall in their respective rooms. But they aren’t, they’re back on Hoth. You’re on Naboo. They are all still together. 

And you are alone.

✩

He won’t leave you alone. 

It’s been ten days since the wedding but it feels like ten months. And the Mandalorian will not leave you alone. You have only seen your husband twice since the wedding, short dinners the night of every fifth cycle, last night he had told you that he saw no need to produce an heir until his father died.

How romantic.

But as much as you yearn for companionship you cannot help but be grateful that he has not ever joined you in bed. He doesn’t repulse you by any means but he just seems… indifferent. Like he couldn't care less for you, which is fine considering you aren’t exactly infatuated with him. But you’re lonely nonetheless. Conversations with your husband are one sided, once you realize he doesn’t care for anything that comes out of your mouth your dinners become much less awkward, he would ramble on about anything he found interesting for an hour and then leave. You heard a servant in passing whisper something about him going to a brothel after your second dinner. You wanted to be more upset about that but you just couldn’t find it in yourself to care. As long as it kept him out of your chambers. 

Elaine and Lysa are sweet but they are clearly intimidated by you, or at the very least they are afraid of upsetting you. So you’ve found that it’s best to just not talk to them at all unless it is to praise them or thank them. They show up like clockwork every morning to dress you and in the evening to undress you. You’re starting to feel like a doll. But they do not comment on the makeshift bed in the closet so you decide they are your favorites. Leo on the other hand has made it quite clear he doesn’t approve of your sleeping situation, you don’t bother trying to explain yourself because you know he won’t care, so now you let him watch you get under the covers of your ornate bed every night before you retreat to the closet. He can be a bit uptight and he’s terrible at conversation but the best thing about Leo is that he doesn’t hover. You honestly don’t know where he runs off to but he’s always there when you need him and he doesn’t overstay his welcome. 

Speaking of overstaying his welcome, you can see the Mandalorian over the top of the book you are currently pretending to read. 

He has become your least favorite person in your new life. He is ranked even lower than Kodo. You were currently dedicating your life to exploring every inch of the castle and mapping it out, you had taken to carrying around a small journal and noting locations you liked and places to avoid. This might be an enjoyable challenge if it weren’t for the walking hunk of metal that seemed to always be standing just out of arm's reach from you. It’s infuriating the way he always stands in your peripherals, you are always aware of his presence even when you are doing everything in your power to ignore him. 

Neither of you had spoken much since your first meeting. He had been rude, why would you speak to him? (Of course you had been rude as well but that's besides the point.) He waits outside your door every morning, and he is there when you return at night. Two days ago you had daydreamed about escaping out the window to avoid him, but considering your chambers were on the fourth floor you decided against it. 

A few days ago was when you had reached your boiling point. He had to sleep eventually, that was what you had told yourself as you opened the door to your chambers at 3 a.m. Under all that metal he was still just a person. (Or at least you were pretty sure he was.) So you donned a robe and a glowrod as you slipped into the hall. For the first time he wasn’t standing there. You just had to find your way to the library, you wanted a few books and you didn’t want to feel his steel gaze judging your every choice, you wanted something cheesy and romantic, something you could read in the closet when you couldn’t sleep. (Which was most nights.) Everytime he followed you into the library you found yourself too nervous to read so now was your chance. Surprisingly it only took you a few minutes to find it. Creeping inside you managed to find five books, clutching them in your arms you stepped back out in the hall and as you closed the library doors as quietly and quickly as you could you turned around and slammed into metal, stumbling backwards and landing on your ass, your books going everywhere. 

“Gods…” You groaned in pain as the back of your head knocked against the door, your eyes adjusted to the darkness as the glowrod illuminated a familiar pair of boots. “You are just- the nerve of you- I can’t even begin to-” Your mind stuttered through a million different insults but eventually you just gave up, huffing angrily as you picked up the light, he reached down to help you up and you shoved his gloved hands away. Leaving the books, you storm off, back towards what you hope is the direction of your room. He didn’t speak as he followed silently behind you, the only indication that he was still there was the reflection of the dim light against Beskar. You looked down two hallways trying fruitlessly to remember which way to go.

“Left.” 

Maker, he didn’t even sound tired. If looks could kill the glare you gave him as you turned left would have him six feet under. As you finally see the doors to your chamber you sigh in relief, just wanting to forget about this silly attempt to have a moment of normalcy. 

“I knew that.” Is all you can manage to mutter, still fuming to the point that you know you can’t form witty insults as you open your chamber doors.

“Sure you did.” 

As you turn to give him a piece of your mind you find yourself in the dark corridor alone. Oh you hate him. This is why he is your least favorite.

You don’t know much about Mandalorians, your mother had always said they were dangerous but that was all that was ever said about the topic. He doesn’t seem all that threatening. Sure he’s tall, and his shoulders were ludicrously broad, and he wore impenetrable armor but you’ve been sitting here staring at him for two hours now and honestly you were pretty sure at this point that you could beat him in a fight.  

Okay you might be starting to lose it. 

You haven’t had a real conversation with anyone since your wedding night, it’s not your fault if you’re starting to feel a little scatterbrained. Maybe you could push him out a window. That armor certainly wouldn’t save him from a fall. That might be too risky, with your luck you’ll end up going out the window with him. As you begin to ponder if Beskar is fireproof a familiar modulated voice breaks the silence causing you to drop your book in shock.

“Don’t.” 

In your fantasies of knocking a candle over onto his cape you hadn’t realized his helmet was facing you now.

“You really seem to love that word.” You cock an eyebrow at him. “You also seem to love scaring unsuspecting girls.” You mumble. 

“I heard that.” 

Stupid helmet with its stupid abilities. You really need to start keeping a list of what that thing is capable of. Maybe the helmet is what makes his stupid voice so deep.

“Of course you did.” You lean back in your chair as you look him up and down. “What exactly is it that you don’t want me doing?” 

“Don’t act like you can outsmart me.” 

Wiseass. 

“I wasn’t doing that, I don’t know if you can see through that visor of yours but I was reading.” You scoff at him as you cross your arms.You hear him hum softly through the modulator as he walks in your direction, standing between you and the book on the floor.

“What were you reading?” 

Dank Farrik.

You’re pretty sure you can see his shit-eating grin through the Beskar. 

“I’m not even going to humor the accusation you’re getting at.” For a split second you swear you catch the start of a laugh before his modulator cuts it off. Soundproof, you can add that to the list. He leans up against a bookshelf as he stares down at you now.

“Maybe it was another romance novel?” Maker, he's the worst. You fight back the pink that threatens to tint your face as you play dumb.

“I’m sorry?”

“Don’t be.” You wondered if you could have him beheaded. Do they do public executions on Naboo?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about..” Is all you can manage to spit out as you reach to a nearby shelf and grab the first book your fingers touch, it looks to be some sort of architecture guide. Better than nothing. “Leave me be, I’m trying to read.” You open the book quickly and as your eyes glance across the pages, much to your dismay, you don’t recognize the language it’s in, he doesn’t need to know that though.

“You left some books out a few nights ago.”

You try to hide the way your breath hitches. There’s no way he went back for them. Unless he did. Why would he do that though there would be no reason. Why is your heart racing like you’re on trial? Why can’t you stop the pink that tinges the tips of your ears?

“I read a lot of books, you can’t possibly expect me to remember every one.” You turn a page and continue scanning your eyes across the unfamiliar text. 

“The Smitten Paladin… My Barbarian Love… Interstellar Bride… The Tongues of-”

“SHUT UP.” You slam the book shut and you can’t fight the rose tint that fills your face now. 

“As you wish, princess.” 

Oh you were definitely gonna kill him now. How hard would it be to get your hands on a vibroblade…? You didn’t speak now, you couldn’t even look at him. There’s no way he had seen those that night when you dropped them, the bastard went back for them. If you could find out where is quarters were maybe you could smother him in his sleep. You assumed he would resume his mockery of you but he never did, he just stared for several minutes as you returned to your book, doing your best to pretend that you knew what it was about until he finally broke the silence. 

“So how were you thinking of doing it?” 

“Doing what?”

“Outsmarting me. Or escaping me, or killing me? Whichever one it was you were plotting.”

You wonder if he was sweating under all those layers as you allowed yourself the first indulgence of really taking him in. He wears heavy black fabric under all of his armor. You wore light and flowy dresses and you always felt like it was too hot. You also can’t stop yourself from wondering if he purposefully makes his voice lower, he must scream into a pillow or something to make it that raspy. You didn’t like how warm it suddenly got in here. This stupid planet and its stupid heat. 

“Well I can’t just tell you my top secret plans, what will you give me in exchange?” You hated the way his helmet tilted to the side to mimic you. 

“How about a walk through the gardens?” 

“We have gardens?” Your eyebrows furrow in disbelief, just when you thought you were starting to map this place out… He nods and you ponder it for a moment before holding your hand out for a handshake. “Deal.” He takes your hand in his and gives you one firm shake but you hold him there and stare at his hand. “Your gloves are stupid, why are the fingers yellow?” He groans as he pulls away.

As he pulls his hand back you catch a glimpse of his bare wrist. You hadn’t really thought about what he might look like under the armor up until now. You’re sort of surprised by how tan his skin is. As you stare for what is definitely too long he clears his throat and you find yourself face to face with his visor. 

Shit, shit shit. 

“Sorry, I got distracted by how stupid your gloves are.”

“Keep talking like that and I won’t take you to the gardens at all.”

“That’s fine, now that I know they exist I’ll just find them on my own.” You stand up, making your way towards the library exit.

“You do realize I follow you everywhere right?” 

“You’re very observative aren’t you?” You scoff.

“You won’t find them on your own. You’ve lived here two weeks and you still can’t find your room without help from Leo.” 

“This is why you’re my least favorite.”

“What?” He doesn’t even pretend to sound hurt, his voice is filled with genuine curiosity and for a fleeting moment you want to give in because for the first time in weeks you aren’t thinking about how alone you are in a castle surrounded by people. Because for the first time since you arrived on this planet you were having a real conversation, and even though you hated him he was the first person who seemed like he actually cared about what you had to say, and not just because you were royalty and it was his job.

“Do you want to hear about my secret plans or not?” You decide to change the subject and watch as for the first time, he walks next to you, not behind you, as he nods.

“I’d love to know how you plan on getting away from a trained bounty hunter.” 

Bounty hunter. You’ll have to ask him about that later if he allows you to keep talking to him. A small part of you hopes that he will. 

“I thought I might start by pushing you off of something high up.” You grin at him. You can’t remember the last time you smiled and it wasn’t for the benefit of others.

“Wouldn’t work.”

“Oh come on, your armor isn’t gonna save you from a fall from one of the castle towers-” He pulls back his cape to reveal a jetpack and you shut up. “Okay new plan, I throw your pack off the roof first.” He nods.

“You would never be able to get it off me but sure. Next plan.” Maker, you hate how smug he is. You want to slap the stupid smile you have to assume he is currently donning off of his face. 

“Well I really only had two plans, plan number two was to light your cape on fire.” 

“Fire’s not gonna kill me, that's just gonna make me angry.”

“Well in that situation I wouldn't be trying to kill you, the fire would be a distraction as I make my escape.”

“There is not a single situation in this world in which you are capable of hiding from me.” 

Why does he have to say it so huskily? Why does it suddenly feel so hot in this stupid castle? You decide he deliberately makes his voice sound deeper to make himself more intimidating. 

You open your mouth to protest but you remember the bounty hunter thing and decide to save yourself from any more embarrassment. He stops walking and you stare at the familiar doors to your chambers.

“Hey! You promised me gardens!” He opens the door for you before taking a step back.

“It’s too late for gardens. We’ll go tomorrow.” You want to argue, you want to do anything to keep talking to him, even if you loathe him and his terrible attitude. But you don’t want to ruin this, and a part of you likes the prospect of more conversation tomorrow. 

“Promise?” You hate how eager you sound.

“Promise.”

You begin to step inside your chambers but he puts a hand on your shoulder. It makes you let out a small gasp as you turn to face him.

“Before you go I have to tell you something, princess.” The voice that comes from the modulator is hushed, he leans in as if he is going to tell you a secret and your eyes get wide, you can see your reflection in his helmet, your face is going pink again.

“W-what…?” It’s embarrassing the way you stutter but he’s so close now that you can’t help it, if he got any closer your breath would fog up the Beskar. You had no idea what he was about to say but for some reason your heart was beating out of your chest. God what is wrong with you today? The heat must be messing with your head.

“It was in Galactic Basic.” 

Well now he just wasn’t making any sense. Maybe the heat was messing with his head too.

“I don’t care for riddles.” 

“Your book, earlier, the one about architecture. The one that you couldn’t understand.” He takes a step back and you furrow your brows, how the hell did he know you didn’t understand it, but more importantly, obviously you spoke Galactic Basic.

“I didn’t realize you were capable of telling jokes.”

“You were holding it upside down.” His hand drops from your shoulder and he takes a step back, waiting for a response but any snarky comeback dies on your tongue as your face burns up, realizing he’s right. Is he leaning forward in anticipation? 

Scumbag.

“Good night, Mando.” As you start to close the door you can hear him chuckling. 

“Good night, princess.”  

Jackass. You hope that he’s ugly under the helmet. 

You also hope he’s brunette.

I am no longer doing taglists so follow @lincolndjarinnotifs and turn on notifications to be notified when new chapters are posted !!

[luckbealincoln]

Best Kept Secret

chapter one : honeymoon

THIS SERIES HAS BEEN MOVED AND RE-UPLOADED TO ANOTHER ACCOUNT. WHICH CAN BE FOUND HERE. THIS POST STILL EXISTS AS AN ARCHIVE BUT THIS ACCOUNT IS NO LONGER ACTIVE!!

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 6.7k

summary : you've been married off to a far away prince, turns out, he isn't your prince charming. however he did gift you a bodyguard as a wedding present.

warnings, etc. : arranged marriage, language

Absurd.

That is the only word that comes to mind as you stare at yourself in the mirror. “His favorite color is blue.” That’s what they had told you when they adorned you with the gaudy sapphire jewelry. “He’s going to love this.” That’s what they had told you as they pinned your hair into uncomfortable curls, braiding in unfamiliar flowers. They were horrendous, far too large and the smell of them nauseated you, or maybe that was just the nerves, who knows. If you were fortunate enough maybe you would discover a surprise allergy to the flowers and your throat would close and your face would turn blue. You wondered if the prince would like that.

Blue had once been a comforting color but not this blue. This blue was intense, harsh, hard to stare at for too long. Nothing like the blue that made you think of home. On the rare days where the snow stopped falling briefly and the sky was clear, Hoth was beautiful. The blue back home was quiet. The color of the sky seemed to swallow the snow and everything became one soft mix of periwinkle. This is not that. This is loud and garish.  

  The two girls who had been dressing you took a step back and smiled at you waiting for approval as you took in the sight of yourself in the floor length mirror. The dress itself was beautiful, if accompanied by tasteful accessories you might have actually found yourself almost nice to look at. A simple off the shoulder satin gown. On anyone else you were sure it would be absolutely stunning but it was so hot here, nobody had told you it would be this hot. The dress felt as though it was sticking to your skin, you hated the way it made you feel like you were trapped in some sort of fabric prison. But even with the thin sheen of sweat covering every inch of you it was the rest of the ensemble that made you look like you were supposed to be attending some sort of costume party, and not your own wedding. To say that the amount of accessories was excessive would be an understatement. Bracelets, bangles, arm bands, several tacky necklaces, even an anklet you couldn’t even see under the gown. All of the sapphires were so bright they seemed to glow, if you swayed your arms fast enough it almost mimicked the sight of hyperspace. The two ladies-in-waiting who had been assigned to you started to give each other nervous looks as you purse your lips silently taking in the ridiculous blue eyeshadow that adorned your otherwise unmade up face. The young Togruta girl speaks up first.

“Is everything to your liking ma’am?” 

No. You look like you should be working in a pleasure house, not marrying a prince.

But the anxiety in her voice is enough to soften your gaze as you speak what might be the first words to leave your mouth since you landed on Naboo. It seemed like everyone was comfortable speaking for you and you knew none of them cared what you had to say so why bother.

“You two have done a wonderful job… thank you.” You turned around to face them, giving them the warmest smile you could muster considering the circumstances. The relief on their faces as you spoke gave you more comfort than you’d had in days. “I am truly grateful to have such wonderful staff, thank you for making me feel so at home. I’m sorry I didn’t catch your names earlier?” 

“I am Elaine and this is Lysa.” The Togruta girl is the one who speaks up again, pointing to herself and then to the human girl. They both smiled as they turned you back towards the mirror and began to do last minute touch ups. You all stood in silence once more until Lysa spoke.

“You look so lovely, he is going to adore you.” She spoke softly, almost as if it was meant more for her own comfort than it was for yours as she straightened a flower in your hair.

He. That was how they referred to him. Nobody spoke of him other than to tell you how lucky you were, and how grateful you should be for this opportunity. No one described him to you in the slightest. No one even said his name, you were pretty sure it started with a “K.” Your betrothed was nothing more than a stranger. And as you stared at yourself in the mirror once more that was what you saw. A stranger. You didn’t recognize the woman in your reflection. She was not the young princess from Hoth, she was simply an item to entertain this “he.” Dolled up to be more appealing for a man she had never even met, adorned in his favorite color to make her more attractive to a man she had already decided she did not care for. 

“What is he like?” You cocked your head slightly as you deliberately observed the girls facial expressions for a reaction, you immediately regretted that decision because of the glance they gave each other. It was enough to make you not want to know the answer so you quickly stammer out another question. “What does he look like?” The Togruta girl clears her throat, you make a mental note that out of the two girls she seems to be the voice. 

“He is very handsome, my lady.” She straightens out your dress one last time and they both take a step back and observe you. “He dresses very well. Just like most of the royal family he has very defined features, striking blue eyes.”

“Oh yes my lady, he is very well known for his beautiful blue eyes.” The human girl smiles at you as she speaks nervously standing behind her partner now. A small part of you started to pray that his favorite color was not blue simply because that was the color of his eyes. They both seem to be struggling to come up with any other defining features of your intended which doesn’t exactly put you at ease. 

“He is also blonde.” Elaine chimes in with a reassuring smile as you watch your reflection frown.

You had always had a preference for brunettes.  ✩

He could be worse. 

That was what you had to keep reminding yourself as you sat now in the large dining hall, it seemed like everyone was laughing and chatting it up except for you. The seat to your left reserved for your husband was empty, you could see him in the crowd toasting with a group of men you assumed were cousins or brothers purely based on the physical similarities. Honestly you wouldn’t be able to tell your husband apart from the rest of them if he wasn’t wearing that horrendous electric blue suit. Your table at the back of the room, facing the rest of the hall, was empty. Save for you and Leodall. 

After your husband had so graciously run off after the ceremony to chat it up with his friends or whatever it was that was apparently much more important than you, you were walked to the reception by an orange Twi’lek who introduced himself as your personal servant, Leodall, Leo for short. No one seemed to even glance at you as they began to take to the dance floor. Of course your loving husband didn’t ask you to dance, why would he when he seemed to be taking the hand of a rather pretty red headed girl and wrapping his arms around her waist, laughing as they began to sway to the music. Prince Kodo Harand. That was his name, at least that is what the priest had said during the ceremony. He had given you a rather cocky “hello” once you had walked down the aisle, and he had kissed you with far more tongue than you would have liked, and now you sat alone. Princess Harand. Lucky you. And of course your family wasn’t here to keep you company, you don’t even think they were invited, why would they be? This wedding had nothing to do with you, it had everything to do with finding someone of royal descent to marry the prince of Naboo in exchange for trade deals. You wondered if there had ever been someone who felt as lonely as you did right now, at their own wedding. 

“Leo?” You turned to where he was standing directly behind you. He was also staring at the prince with a rather annoyed look on his face.

“Yes my lady?” He turned his gaze to you. He was far too serious for someone who only seemed to be a few years older than you were.

“I am getting rather tired, I should like to retire to my chambers.” 

You also should like to not watch my husband dance with some of the most gorgeous girls you’ve ever seen. Seems like he has found a rather attractive brunette now to keep him company on the dance floor. Leo looks to the prince and then back to you.

“It is rather early my lady… perhaps you could stay just a bit longer? It is after all your wedding.”

“Is it?” You couldn’t help but raise your eyebrows at him, gesturing to the empty chairs surrounding you. Before he could object you stood and began marching towards the exit. 

“My lady! Perhaps you might enjoy some refreshments! And perhaps you might reconsider your early departure!” Even in the gown you were more agile than him as you weaved through the crowds, waving off muttered “congratulations.” Once through the large doors of the great hall you felt as though you could finally breathe. The halls out here were dark, a few guards seemed to be passing around a flask but they immediately straightened up as they saw you, you pretended not to see them, hoping they might resume they’re drinking. After all, someone should have fun at your wedding. You lifted your skirt slightly and tried to remember where your room was as Leo finally caught up to you.

“Was it right or left…?” You stare down the nearly identical hallways as you hear two sets of footsteps approaching you.

“Wife! Where are you off to? I have a wedding present for you!” How fortunate that you married someone with such a distinct, nasally voice so you can plaster on a faux smile before you face him. You turned to see a disgruntled Leo following behind Kodo. Great. Your clearly drunk husband has a present for you on your wedding night. You have to physically resist rolling your eyes as he takes your hand and begins dragging you towards your chambers, Leo stumbling to keep up with you.

“Are you sure this cannot wait until tomorrow dear husband?” It’s unlikely he’ll want to put this off but there’s no shame in trying. 

“No no no… trust me you are going to love this…” 

Well he certainly is confident in his abilities.

He stumbles through the many confusing halls of the castle until arriving at your door, stopping just outside. He opens the door just a crack and peers inside before shutting it again, putting his hands on your shoulders, a big dopey grin on his face as he drunkenly slurs. 

“I must be getting back to the party my dear wife but your present is inside, I left you a little note on your vanity.” He leans forward and gives you a sloppy kiss, you do your best not to recoil.

“I’m sorry? I don’t quite understand?” You managed to pull him off you long enough to speak. But he’s already walking away.

“Do not fret, wife, you will love it. I will see you at dinner in a few days!” He yells over his shoulder before rushing back down to the party. You turn to stare at Leo who is just as shocked as you are as you can’t help but double over in laughter.

“Is he serious?” You’re laughing so hard you’re practically crying, Leo doesn’t seem to find the situation as funny as you do. You wipe a tear from your lash line as you straighten up. “If our marriage is anything like today has been I suppose it shall not be all that bad.” You manage to say through your laughter. He doesn’t speak, he simply opens the doors to your chambers for you, placing his hand on your back to usher you inside.

“I suppose I should not have expected any less of our prince.” Leo mutters as he closes the door behind the two of you he begins lighting the lamps around the dark room. “Shall I summon your ladies-in-waiting to help you undress my lady?” You open your mouth to answer but you’re stopped dead in your tracks as you stare at the suit of armor in the center of the room. The mannequin it appears to be resting on is rather tall. You can’t help but stare at the way the lamp light flickers against the Beskar. A Mandalorian statue? What an odd gift. You instinctively walk towards it as you mumble.

“That won’t be necessary… it is late, do not wake them, I can do it myself.” Leo looks as if he is about to protest but the note on the vanity catches his eye, he holds it between two fingers and begins to read it to himself as you stand directly in front of the armor now, your fingers raised to trace one of the gauntlets. “It certainly is a beautiful set of armor… I just don’t understand what exactly he wants me to do with it.” You run your hands across the chestplate, admiring the fine craftsmanship before you turn to face Leo, a concerned look on your face. 

This better not be a weird sex thing.

“He doesn’t expect me to wear it, does he? Is this some sort of weird fetish of his?” You find yourself looking back to the armor nervously. “It’s far too large for me… I think I would look rather foolish, like a child wearing her mothers clothing...” You bring a hand up to the helmet, a small shiver running down your spine as you stare into the lifeless visor. 

“Princess… perhaps you should wait a moment.” Leo stares at the note for a moment more before his mouth opens slightly to speak again as he gives you a warning look. But it is too late, you lift the helmet a fraction of an inch and let out a startled shriek as the armor shifts to grab both of your arms in one large hand, pulling your hand back down.

“Don’t.”

 The voice that comes from the modulator is low, it is gentle with you but is by no means joking as he releases his grip on your arm you stumble backwards. 

“Maker! You scared me half to death.” You bring your hand up to your chest as Leo rushes to your side to stabilize you, you stare at the Mandalorian in surprise for a moment before your gaze turns angry and you poke a finger into his chest. “What is your problem! Why didn’t you say something!?” He only shrugs in response.

“I was instructed not to speak to you until you read the note.” 

Bastard. 

Leo leans forward to whisper to you.

“It should appear that the prince has hired the Mandalorian to be your personal bodyguard, my lady.” Leo’s voice shakes as he stares up at the intimidating silhouette of the armored man but you are not so easily swayed, clearing your throat as you speak.

“You are dismissed Leo.” Your eyes never leave the steel visor.

“My lady, are you sure it is wise-”

“If my husband deems him fit to protect me then he is fit to protect me. Unless of course you are questioning the prince’s judgment?” You turn to glare at the Twi’lek who is now nervously tugging at the sleeves of his shirt. He does nothing but stare back at you for what feels like minutes until he finally sighs and makes a beeline for the door.

“As you wish, my lady. Ring for me if you require anything.” He closes the door and you turn back to the Mandalorian, who unsurprisingly hasn’t moved an inch, other than the way his helmet seems to shake ever so slightly but you ignore it as you walk over to your vanity, crumpling up the note and tossing it in the bin before starting to remove your jewelry, setting the ugly pieces onto the table.

“So what exactly is your job?” You don’t give him the courtesy of facing him, not after he scared you like that. 

“It was all written in the note.” 

It’s annoying how unbothered he sounds. You take off the last piece of jewelry, lifting your skirt and raising your leg to rest your foot on the ottoman to unclasp the anklet, you swear you see his helmet tilt in your direction in the mirror, but when you turn to face him he is in the same position, staring at the wall.

“I don’t care about the note. I want to hear it from you.” You fetch yourself a nightgown as you step behind the screen next to the vanity, carefully slipping out of the dress, out of sight of the Mandalorian.

“My job is to make sure you are not harmed.” He speaks so quietly you’re surprised the modulator even picks up his voice. Once dressed you step out from behind the screen and take a seat at the vanities mirror, wearing a gray silk nightgown. It’s fancier than what you’d usually wear but it doesn’t seem like they bothered to unpack any of your clothes you brought from home. You silently pray that they didn’t throw them away.

“So you just… follow me around?” You can feel the frown forming as you begin to carefully remove the now wilting flowers from your hair.

“Yes.” 

Not much of a talker this guy.

“Actually I’m good.” Your voice is snippy and you know you’re being a bit blunt but you’ve had a rough day. Finally, he deliberately moves, his head turning to watch as you undo the pin curls, your hair falling down in waves as you do.

“Excuse me?” Finally, some sign of emotion. Even if it is a twinge of anger.

“Can you not hear through the helmet? I’m good. I’ve already got an ensemble of people trailing me. I don’t need another.” You rifle through the drawers until you find a rag to wipe the makeup from your eyes before turning around to stare at him. “You’re dismissed.” 

“You don’t have the authority to dismiss me.” His voice is tense, if you could see his face you were sure he’d be scowling. It’s good to know he is capable of emotion. Even better to know it isn’t difficult to rile him up.

“I don’t know if you know this but I just married the eldest son of the king and queen. That makes me the future queen, I’m pretty sure I have the authority to do whatever I please.” You hadn’t said those words aloud until now, you hadn’t even thought them. It lifted a weight off your shoulders, somehow it made things a bit easier, to know that despite this entire situation you found yourself in that at the very least you found yourself in a position of power.

“I don’t know if you know this, but I have direct orders from the eldest son of the king and queen to not let you out of my site from the moment you leave this room until you return to it.” He mocks your tone exactly as he crosses his arms.

Shit. He’s got you there. Did Kodo have to pick this man to guard you?

“Well… I’m in this room now. So I don’t require your presence. You may go.” You wish you could come up with something more witty but you're tired, you just want to be alone, to have a single moment to try and process what a whirlwind these last few days have been. You swear you hear an annoyed huff come through his modulator. 

“I’ll see you in the morning.” His voice is sharp and he speaks with a finality that makes you want to argue further.

But he doesn’t give you time to respond. He simply leaves. Once he is gone you rush to the door to lock it and begin to dim all the lamps in the room. In the pale light you stare at the comically large bed and your stomach drops. For the first time since arriving on Naboo you feel cold. The idea of spending your wedding night in such a big bed alone makes you feel sick. Were the ceilings of this room always so high? You find yourself opening the closet. It’s the size of your room back home, it’s perfect. All of the fabric of the unfamiliar clothes that were now yours made it quiet, and soft, and warm. You grabbed a lamp from one of the many small tables around the room, (who needs this many tables?) and bring it to the closet, closing the door behind you as you rummage through the many drawers until you find one full of blankets and pillows, making yourself a nest before settling down in it. It was just as comfortable as your bed back home and you wrapped yourself around one of the larger pillows.

You wanted to cry. 

You should be crying but you're not. You’re just staring at the flickering lamp. There were a million things you could think about to make yourself cry but at this point it wasn’t even worth it. You’re tired, and there will be plenty of time for crying later, after all this was your life now. So instead you closed your eyes and pretended you weren’t here at all, that you were back home, and you weren’t completely alone, your many siblings were just down the hall in their respective rooms. But they aren’t, they’re back on Hoth. You’re on Naboo. They are all still together. 

And you are alone. ✩

He won’t leave you alone. 

It’s been ten days since the wedding but it feels like ten months. And the Mandalorian will not leave you alone. You have only seen your husband twice since the wedding, short dinners the night of every fifth cycle, last night he had told you that he saw no need to produce an heir until his father died.

How romantic.

But as much as you yearn for companionship you cannot help but be grateful that he has not ever joined you in bed. He doesn’t repulse you by any means but he just seems… indifferent. Like he couldn't care less for you, which is fine considering you aren’t exactly infatuated with him. But you’re lonely nonetheless. Conversations with your husband are one sided, once you realize he doesn’t care for anything that comes out of your mouth your dinners become much less awkward, he would ramble on about anything he found interesting for an hour and then leave. You heard a servant in passing whisper something about him going to a brothel after your second dinner. You wanted to be more upset about that but you just couldn’t find it in yourself to care. As long as it kept him out of your chambers. 

Elaine and Lysa are sweet but they are clearly intimidated by you, or at the very least they are afraid of upsetting you. So you’ve found that it’s best to just not talk to them at all unless it is to praise them or thank them. They show up like clockwork every morning to dress you and in the evening to undress you. You’re starting to feel like a doll. But they do not comment on the makeshift bed in the closet so you decide they are your favorites. Leo on the other hand has made it quite clear he doesn’t approve of your sleeping situation, you don’t bother trying to explain yourself because you know he won’t care, so now you let him watch you get under the covers of your ornate bed every night before you retreat to the closet. He can be a bit uptight and he’s terrible at conversation but the best thing about Leo is that he doesn’t hover. You honestly don’t know where he runs off to but he’s always there when you need him and he doesn’t overstay his welcome. 

Speaking of overstaying his welcome, you can see the Mandalorian over the top of the book you are currently pretending to read. 

He has become your least favorite person in your new life. He is ranked even lower than Kodo. You were currently dedicating your life to exploring every inch of the castle and mapping it out, you had taken to carrying around a small journal and noting locations you liked and places to avoid. This might be an enjoyable challenge if it weren’t for the walking hunk of metal that seemed to always be standing just out of arm's reach from you. It’s infuriating the way he always stands in your peripherals, you are always aware of his presence even when you are doing everything in your power to ignore him. 

Neither of you had spoken much since your first meeting. He had been rude, why would you speak to him? (Of course you had been rude as well but that's besides the point.) He waits outside your door every morning, and he is there when you return at night. Two days ago you had daydreamed about escaping out the window to avoid him, but considering your chambers were on the fourth floor you decided against it. 

A few days ago was when you had reached your boiling point. He had to sleep eventually, that was what you had told yourself as you opened the door to your chambers at 3 a.m. Under all that metal he was still just a person. (Or at least you were pretty sure he was.) So you donned a robe and a glowrod as you slipped into the hall. For the first time he wasn’t standing there. You just had to find your way to the library, you wanted a few books and you didn’t want to feel his steel gaze judging your every choice, you wanted something cheesy and romantic, something you could read in the closet when you couldn’t sleep. (Which was most nights.) Everytime he followed you into the library you found yourself too nervous to read so now was your chance. Surprisingly it only took you a few minutes to find it. Creeping inside you managed to find five books, clutching them in your arms you stepped back out in the hall and as you closed the library doors as quietly and quickly as you could you turned around and slammed into metal, stumbling backwards and landing on your ass, your books going everywhere. 

“Gods…” You groaned in pain as the back of your head knocked against the door, your eyes adjusted to the darkness as the glowrod illuminated a familiar pair of boots. “You are just- the nerve of you- I can’t even begin to-” Your mind stuttered through a million different insults but eventually you just gave up, huffing angrily as you picked up the light, he reached down to help you up and you shoved his gloved hands away. Leaving the books, you storm off, back towards what you hope is the direction of your room. He didn’t speak as he followed silently behind you, the only indication that he was still there was the reflection of the dim light against Beskar. You looked down two hallways trying fruitlessly to remember which way to go.

“Left.” 

Maker, he didn’t even sound tired. If looks could kill the glare you gave him as you turned left would have him six feet under. As you finally see the doors to your chamber you sigh in relief, just wanting to forget about this silly attempt to have a moment of normalcy. 

“I knew that.” Is all you can manage to mutter, still fuming to the point that you know you can’t form witty insults as you open your chamber doors.

“Sure you did.” 

As you turn to give him a piece of your mind you find yourself in the dark corridor alone. Oh you hate him. This is why he is your least favorite.

You don’t know much about Mandalorians, your mother had always said they were dangerous but that was all that was ever said about the topic. He doesn’t seem all that threatening. Sure he’s tall, and his shoulders were ludicrously broad, and he wore impenetrable armor but you’ve been sitting here staring at him for two hours now and honestly you were pretty sure at this point that you could beat him in a fight.  

Okay you might be starting to lose it. 

You haven’t had a real conversation with anyone since your wedding night, it’s not your fault if you’re starting to feel a little scatterbrained. Maybe you could push him out a window. That armor certainly wouldn’t save him from a fall. That might be too risky, with your luck you’ll end up going out the window with him. As you begin to ponder if Beskar is fireproof a familiar modulated voice breaks the silence causing you to drop your book in shock.

“Don’t.” 

In your fantasies of knocking a candle over onto his cape you hadn’t realized his helmet was facing you now.

“You really seem to love that word.” You cock an eyebrow at him. “You also seem to love scaring unsuspecting girls.” You mumble. 

“I heard that.” 

Stupid helmet with its stupid abilities. You really need to start keeping a list of what that thing is capable of. Maybe the helmet is what makes his stupid voice so deep.

“Of course you did.” You lean back in your chair as you look him up and down. “What exactly is it that you don’t want me doing?” 

“Don’t act like you can outsmart me.” 

Wiseass. 

“I wasn’t doing that, I don’t know if you can see through that visor of yours but I was reading.” You scoff at him as you cross your arms.You hear him hum softly through the modulator as he walks in your direction, standing between you and the book on the floor.

“What were you reading?” 

Dank Farrik.

You’re pretty sure you can see his shit-eating grin through the Beskar. 

“I’m not even going to humor the accusation you’re getting at.” For a split second you swear you catch the start of a laugh before his modulator cuts it off. Soundproof, you can add that to the list. He leans up against a bookshelf as he stares down at you now.

“Maybe it was another romance novel?” Maker, he's the worst. You fight back the pink that threatens to tint your face as you play dumb.

“I’m sorry?”

“Don’t be.” You wondered if you could have him beheaded. Do they do public executions on Naboo?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about..” Is all you can manage to spit out as you reach to a nearby shelf and grab the first book your fingers touch, it looks to be some sort of architecture guide. Better than nothing. “Leave me be, I’m trying to read.” You open the book quickly and as your eyes glance across the pages, much to your dismay, you don’t recognize the language it’s in, he doesn’t need to know that though.

“You left some books out a few nights ago.”

You try to hide the way your breath hitches. There’s no way he went back for them. Unless he did. Why would he do that though there would be no reason. Why is your heart racing like you’re on trial? Why can’t you stop the pink that tinges the tips of your ears?

“I read a lot of books, you can’t possibly expect me to remember every one.” You turn a page and continue scanning your eyes across the unfamiliar text. 

“The Smitten Paladin… My Barbarian Love… Interstellar Bride… The Tongues of-”

“SHUT UP.” You slam the book shut and you can’t fight the rose tint that fills your face now. 

“As you wish, princess.” 

Oh you were definitely gonna kill him now. How hard would it be to get your hands on a vibroblade…? You didn’t speak now, you couldn’t even look at him. There’s no way he had seen those that night when you dropped them, the bastard went back for them. If you could find out where is quarters were maybe you could smother him in his sleep. You assumed he would resume his mockery of you but he never did, he just stared for several minutes as you returned to your book, doing your best to pretend that you knew what it was about until he finally broke the silence. 

“So how were you thinking of doing it?” 

“Doing what?”

“Outsmarting me. Or escaping me, or killing me? Whichever one it was you were plotting.”

You wonder if he was sweating under all those layers as you allowed yourself the first indulgence of really taking him in. He wears heavy black fabric under all of his armor. You wore light and flowy dresses and you always felt like it was too hot. You also can’t stop yourself from wondering if he purposefully makes his voice lower, he must scream into a pillow or something to make it that raspy. You didn’t like how warm it suddenly got in here. This stupid planet and its stupid heat. 

“Well I can’t just tell you my top secret plans, what will you give me in exchange?” You hated the way his helmet tilted to the side to mimic you. 

“How about a walk through the gardens?” 

“We have gardens?” Your eyebrows furrow in disbelief, just when you thought you were starting to map this place out… He nods and you ponder it for a moment before holding your hand out for a handshake. “Deal.” He takes your hand in his and gives you one firm shake but you hold him there and stare at his hand. “Your gloves are stupid, why are the fingers yellow?” He groans as he pulls away.

As he pulls his hand back you catch a glimpse of his bare wrist. You hadn’t really thought about what he might look like under the armor up until now. You’re sort of surprised by how tan his skin is. As you stare for what is definitely too long he clears his throat and you find yourself face to face with his visor. 

Shit, shit shit. 

“Sorry, I got distracted by how stupid your gloves are.”

“Keep talking like that and I won’t take you to the gardens at all.”

“That’s fine, now that I know they exist I’ll just find them on my own.” You stand up, making your way towards the library exit.

“You do realize I follow you everywhere right?” 

“You’re very observative aren’t you?” You scoff.

“You won’t find them on your own. You’ve lived here two weeks and you still can’t find your room without help from Leo.” 

“This is why you’re my least favorite.”

“What?” He doesn’t even pretend to sound hurt, his voice is filled with genuine curiosity and for a fleeting moment you want to give in because for the first time in weeks you aren’t thinking about how alone you are in a castle surrounded by people. Because for the first time since you arrived on this planet you were having a real conversation, and even though you hated him he was the first person who seemed like he actually cared about what you had to say, and not just because you were royalty and it was his job.

“Do you want to hear about my secret plans or not?” You decide to change the subject and watch as for the first time, he walks next to you, not behind you, as he nods.

“I’d love to know how you plan on getting away from a trained bounty hunter.” 

Bounty hunter. You’ll have to ask him about that later if he allows you to keep talking to him. A small part of you hopes that he will. 

“I thought I might start by pushing you off of something high up.” You grin at him. You can’t remember the last time you smiled and it wasn’t for the benefit of others.

“Wouldn’t work.”

“Oh come on, your armor isn’t gonna save you from a fall from one of the castle towers-” He pulls back his cape to reveal a jetpack and you shut up. “Okay new plan, I throw your pack off the roof first.” He nods.

“You would never be able to get it off me but sure. Next plan.” Maker, you hate how smug he is. You want to slap the stupid smile you have to assume he is currently donning off of his face. 

“Well I really only had two plans, plan number two was to light your cape on fire.” 

“Fire’s not gonna kill me, that's just gonna make me angry.”

“Well in that situation I wouldn't be trying to kill you, the fire would be a distraction as I make my escape.”

“There is not a single situation in this world in which you are capable of hiding from me.” 

Why does he have to say it so huskily? Why does it suddenly feel so hot in this stupid castle? You decide he deliberately makes his voice sound deeper to make himself more intimidating. 

You open your mouth to protest but you remember the bounty hunter thing and decide to save yourself from any more embarrassment. He stops walking and you stare at the familiar doors to your chambers.

“Hey! You promised me gardens!” He opens the door for you before taking a step back.

“It’s too late for gardens. We’ll go tomorrow.” You want to argue, you want to do anything to keep talking to him, even if you loathe him and his terrible attitude. But you don’t want to ruin this, and a part of you likes the prospect of more conversation tomorrow. 

“Promise?” You hate how eager you sound.

“Promise.”

You begin to step inside your chambers but he puts a hand on your shoulder. It makes you let out a small gasp as you turn to face him.

“Before you go I have to tell you something, princess.” The voice that comes from the modulator is hushed, he leans in as if he is going to tell you a secret and your eyes get wide, you can see your reflection in his helmet, your face is going pink again.

“W-what…?” It’s embarrassing the way you stutter but he’s so close now that you can’t help it, if he got any closer your breath would fog up the Beskar. You had no idea what he was about to say but for some reason your heart was beating out of your chest. God what is wrong with you today? The heat must be messing with your head.

“It was in Galactic Basic.” 

Well now he just wasn’t making any sense. Maybe the heat was messing with his head too.

“I don’t care for riddles.” 

“Your book, earlier, the one about architecture. The one that you couldn’t understand.” He takes a step back and you furrow your brows, how the hell did he know you didn’t understand it, but more importantly, obviously you spoke Galactic Basic.

“I didn’t realize you were capable of telling jokes.”

“You were holding it upside down.” His hand drops from your shoulder and he takes a step back, waiting for a response but any snarky comeback dies on your tongue as your face burns up, realizing he’s right. Is he leaning forward in anticipation? 

Scumbag.

“Good night, Mando.” As you start to close the door you can hear him chuckling. 

“Good night, princess.”  

Jackass. You hope that he’s ugly under the helmet. 

You also hope he’s brunette.

[staticl0ve]

Connor x Fem!Reader (18+, 3.5k words) 💙 Part One

Part Two. Inexperienced lovers. Friends to lovers. Human AU. Fluff. Soft smut, oral (f!receiving)

(18+)

Sex & Lemonade 2

Summer winds sweep through dandelion fields, pulling soft tuffs of white fuzz into the air. Grass flows in waves, as do the large starry leaves of an aged oak tree. Sunlight bleaches the canopy gold and lime green. 

You’re resting on your back beneath rustling leaves. Against your skin is a thick, knitted blanket with multicolored geometric patterns, protecting you from the sharpness of fresh cut grass. Picnic treats are laid out around a basket, half eaten sandwiches, washed fruit, and cold packaged juice boxes. Past the tall grass and wildflowers, cottony swirls of clouds drift lazily across the vast blue sky.

“I spy… a unicorn,” you say to the man beside you.

Connor lies on his side, tucking an arm under his chin and legs bending just enough to have his knees brush against yours. His cheeks are a little sun kissed and flushed from your proximity. Brown eyes track your tongue as it flickers out to wet your lips between words. The action brings forth thoughts of you in his bedroom with a glass of lemonade and reminds him of what your tongue can do or how good it feels curling up and stroking his—

“Connor?”

Shit. He’s stammering, lashes fluttering and cheeks reddening. “I… I… uhm. Is it that one?”

A pale hand raises over your face, index finger pointing at a tuft of two clouds with a vaguely horse shaped head connecting to a pointy, wind blown horn. Your teeth flash, eyes squinting from a silly grin. Connor leans in closer, fingers busying themselves with a stray ribbon from your crop top. It’s attached to a corset center of criss-crossed satin and while you’re lying back, bare middle in view, he’s distracted by the thought of what might happen if he… pulled.

“Yes!” you say, dragging him out of his reverie. “You’re so good at this.”

There’s nothing in your sweet voice to imply anything else and yet he feels a bolt of heat, a twitch of interest from your words. Connor’s been thinking about you nonstop for the past few days. Ever since he learned how good you could make him feel, he’s been wondering whether or not he could make you feel the same, if not, better.

Your thighs shift as you arch your back for a quick stretch, skirt pooling around your mid thigh, leaving Connor with a tempting view of vast amounts of skin. Why did it have to be summer? He’s cursing the weather and wishes for snow, thick layers, and warm blankets for modesty. Although… he’s quick to imagine what could be done beneath a blanket and he’s already yelling at his single tracked mind.

While Connor’s busy fretting about the temperature, the wind picks up, taunting him by lifting your clothes further from your skin and the same colorful ribbon wrapped around your chest beckons him. You seem to catch that he’s not quite present with you and laugh softly. A cool and damp green grape presses against his lips, your fingers wrapping around the other end.

“You look like you need a snack,” you tease. “You’re… staring into space.”

He bites into the delicate flesh and tastes a burst of sour and sweet. Caramel eyes find yours as his tongue flattens against the bitten fruit to catch the juice which drips. There’s a flicker of wet, warmth against your skin and you wonder if Connor’s tongue grazing your fingers was an accident. You think you get your answer as his tongue curls around the grape and pops it from your hand and into his mouth.

Smiling, he lets out a content hum when he finishes chewing. “So sweet.”

All that exists is the small space between you and him and like the clouds above, the breeze pushes and pulls you two into one shape. Connor leans in closer, hovering over your laid out form, his nose brushing over your bare shoulder. Softly, he says your name like he always has since you were a little girl and he a little boy. You blink back at him, returning his smile.

“I… wanted to ask…” His eyes track down your chest and towards your knees where your thighs are pressed tightly together. “If… if you don’t mind that I returned your favor?”

“Favor?”

You go to sit up a little, but he stills you with a gentle press of his palm to your abdomen. The contact means your bare skin meets his hand and a flush of heat rushes down his back. Gulping, he smiles sheepishly, aware of how the tips of his ears must be turning as red as his cheeks.

“Y-yes, I… I would like a chance to make you feel good.” He looks at you then, large honeyed eyes dripping with sweetness. He’s the picture of dreamy, young love, his thick lashes fluttering, cheeks dimpling with another anxious smile. “Would you like to experience that with me?”

You stare back at your best friend, a little lost for words. There’s a distracting throb at your core as you mull over his offer. Your chin lifts and lowers in a small nod. Receiving your answer, Connor moves to lean over you properly, lowering himself to his elbows until your faces are inches apart.

“May I kiss you?” he asks.

You wonder if you’ll taste fruit on his lips.

“Please,” you reply.

He makes a soft noise, an almost whimper at your gentle pleading. Lips gently press against yours and his moan grows in volume. He’s been replaying how you’ve kissed him over and over, and he’s realizing his memories don’t hold a candle to the real thing. You fit perfectly beneath him, hands roaming up his chest, fingers kneading into cotton.

Connor loves how you shyly explore the planes of his muscles. Growing more confident, your hand wanders further up, tracing his collarbone and strong, taut neck muscles. He leans into your touch, hips bucking when you pull at his hair. His lips tug gently at your bottom lip and his nose bumps into yours— asking— begging silently and he hopes you can feel the need radiating from him.

Your mouth opens and welcomes him to explore, his pink tongue licking at your pillowy cheeks and scraping against sharp teeth until he finds your tongue. You can taste grape on his lips and smell the sunscreen which coats his skin. Connor drinks in your moans, lets his hand wander further down. Mischievously, his thumb catches on a perk nipple hiding behind thin cloth and you gasp his name beneath him.

He parts from the kiss to study your face and the golden glint in his eyes turn darker than molasses. It’s a look you’ve seen when he’s concentrating and plotting his way to victory at a board game or when he’s chasing you in tag… only a different hunger lurks around the edges of his eyes, causing a thrill to run down your spine. Connor blinks and it’s gone, replaced with another blush of his cheeks.

“May I?” His fingers catch onto the satin holding your shirt together. You nod again, lips curling in anticipation.

Nimble fingers pull at the bow wrapped around your chest, slipping in between to loosen the ribbon until your breasts spill from your top.

“Fuck… you’re so pretty,” he moans, dipping his head to your chest. He swirls a tongue around one nipple and uses his hand to rub faint circles over your other one. It’s a ticklish sensation and you’re caught between a giggle and a moan. Connor’s on a different planet, mouth latching more tightly on your breast as he moves his hands to your thighs, strong fingers pushing your skirt up higher.

“Connor…” You squirm as cool air hits damp lace. His thumbs rub into your inner thighs, tracing the seam of your underwear.

“May I… use my mouth on you?”

It’s your turn to stammer and your cheeks instantly feel hot. “No one has— I mean— I’ve never…”

He’s earnest, understanding and smiles back at you from between your breasts. “Neither have I. I’ve always wanted to try this with...” He corrects himself and glances away, suddenly too shy for direct eye contact. “Please, may I taste you?”

“Y-yes.”

Sliding down, his hands are on you, fingers squeezing reassuringly at your hips. They roam further, pulling down your panties and you lift your hips to help him. It gets tossed nearby, somewhere between the edge of the blanket and onto the grass. With both hands, he pushes your skirt up, letting the material pool over your hips. Connor groans at the sight of your bare sex, teeth capturing his lower lip.

“Will you show me what you like?” he asks while pulling your hand lower. His cheeks are warm when he rests the side of his head on your thigh.

“I… I’m not sure…” you stammer back.

Of course, it wasn’t like you haven’t spent time getting to know yourself on nights when your core ached, keeping you from a peaceful night’s sleep. There were also a few curious nights in college with some cute guys… but this was Connor, the boy who had the worst, squeaky voice in puberty, now a man asking you eagerly, voice low and tempting.

He’s still watching you with all the intention to study you like you were a topic he had to ace. As you blink back at him, his hand intertwines with yours. 

“Guide me. Please,” he begs. “Use my hand.” And my tongue, he hopes, but there will be time for that when you’re ready.

You listen because, god, Connor’s never sounded this desperately enthused before. You’re getting flashbacks to prom, when you both went as friends, his cheeks pinched in excitement as you joined him for a slow dance. It’s hard to know when it happened, the moment you both stopped being friends and something more. Was it then? Was it earlier this week when you had his cock down your throat?

Or is it now?

With your hand above his, you trace the bumps of his veins and large knuckles before guiding two of his fingers where you need it. He takes in a shuddering inhale when his skin makes contact with your wet folds, collecting your slick. You’re wet, warm and teasing him by letting him trace the seam of your sex, not quite letting him in. Connor swears he can feel a faint pulse and lingers, hoping he may get a chance to feel more of it.

Moving his hand back up, you bring him to your swollen clit, coaxing him to add pressure, allowing the pads of his fingers to manipulate soft, smooth skin. A moan escapes your lips when he manages to find an angle which makes your toes curl.

“Here?” His eyes are bright, brows raised curiously. He rubs in tight circles around that spot, cheek dimpling when your back arches off the picnic blanket. Your name leaves his lips. “How does it feel?”

“G-good. Mmm! Really good.”

It’s not enough, you’re feeling awfully empty and fluttering around nothing. You squirm, hips twisting and he accidentally brushes past your folds. He’s quick to apologize, the sharp sound of an S reaches your ears but you’re already pushing his palm lower, guiding him into you.

“Oh…” he gasps at the wetness that floods around his fingers. Connor’s done this part before, felt the warmth of another partner on his hands. He thought the experience meant he wouldn’t be fumbling nervously with you, but he is because you’re soaking from the anticipation of his touch. Cheeks red, a moan parts his lips as he watches his fingers slip in deeper. Tightness and heat pools between his thighs, the space in his jeans feels more restrictive with each passing moment, a need he ignores to satiate a different curiosity. His mouth feels parched and well, his tongue is already halfway out…

“Mmm! Connor!”

Your hand instinctively finds the back of his head, nails raking through soft hair. His tongue is warm and wet, applying light pressure with broad, flat licks. Connor’s inexperience shows, his motions unsure as he experiments with a variety of directions. He watches for your reactions, corrects his movements to find the areas where he should lavish attention to. And when he sharpens his tongue on one spot, really curls his tongue across it, you let out a wrecked moan. It’s music to his ears so he keeps at it, swirling at your nerves until the hand in his hair becomes conflicted with pushing him away while your thighs cage him in.

Abruptly, the feeling is gone as his head pops up. You’re expecting furrowed, worried brows and large, blown out brown eyes. Instead, he’s leaning over your pelvis with a dark shimmer in his eyes and a small quirk in the corner of his lips. His pale skin is shiny in the sunlight, chin damp and he flicks his tongue out to catch remnants of your taste.

“Was that… okay?” he asks, voice small and seeking affirmation. There’s a glimmer of pride in his eyes that tells you he already knows your answer.

“Yes, yes—” Your words slur and get swallowed by a stifled moan as he returns to his place between your thighs. You think  he’s pretty like this, too. His dark hair is a mess, curled bangs in his face as he searches for new ways to make you feel light and airy and taut all at once.

How well you react to his touch makes his heart swell with pride, knowing he can make you breathless in the way that you’ve done for him. He wonders if it’ll always be like this, you and him casually hanging out, exchanging long glances until the tension breaks into something more intimate. This is the second time in a week that the limits of what constitutes as platonic activities has reached the point where his chest aches for something more.

He’s lived through summers with you as a boy, has spent them riding bikes across miles of suburbia, grabbing refreshments filled with ice, and huddling close together on a couch to nap away the day… only for him to peek an eye open as you slept while he wondered what it’d be like when you were both older. As an optimist, he’d like to think that this summer is where he’ll find that answer.

“Oh, god! Connor… yes!”

A smile quirks his lips up and he’s laughing a little to himself as he licks at your clit.

“It’s not too much is it?”

It’s that damn sweet voice of his, dripping with sincerity but his tone never matches the almost cocky twitch of his lips. You can hardly focus on the leaves scattered above you, the clouds blending into the blue skies. All you feel is Connor, your best friend’s tongue, and his thick fingers which begin to move slowly from within.

“N-no, s’perfect,” you reply, one hand still lost in his hair and the other fisting the picnic blanket so as to not hurt the brunette between your legs. 

He tests how pliant you are, stroking you open and feeling up similar nerves that make your thighs tremble. It stokes a warming sensation in your lower belly as he fills you to his knuckles, crooks his fingers in time with his licks around your clit. When you clench tightly around him, he groans, tongue vibrating as it laps at your swollen bud. He can hear the squelch of your slick by his ears and can’t resist moving his free hand to grind his crotch into.

“Sweetheart,” Connor coos, lips pressed to your sex while he talks. “Please, let me taste you. Please.”

You barely squeak out a “yes” before his wet fingers leave you, sliding up to replace his tongue in rubbing circles. His face digs in, nose pressed beneath your clit as his tongue shyly prods at the seam of your sex. He runs his tongue up your slit, catching the slick that drips. You hear a muffled “fuck” and he’s suddenly, merciless, completely forgone the notion of a slow pace. It’s an exchange of trust between friends, although��lovers almost suits you two better. You’re laid out for him to taste as he’s sprawled out for you to use and Connor feels incredibly lucky to be the first to discover how sweet you are.

His name leaves your lips, his brown hair pulled by your fingers as your hips rise to meet his tongue. It encourages him to push in deeper, his wet and warm appendage stroking silken muscles. He’s using the quake of your thighs, moans, and squirming hips as his guide to all the right spots.

“God,” he murmurs between breathy breaks. A groan, halfway to a growl vibrates his tongue. He lays a kiss to your inner thigh, sharp teeth nipping playfully. “You taste so sweet.”

Connor plunges back in before you can reply, filling you once again with his tongue. You tighten around him as his fingers move faster, coating your clit in the combined mess between your thighs. In the background, you catch him bucking his hips into his hand like a desperate teenager.

“Are you…?” You moan again, distracted by a talented flick of his tongue. “A-are you touching yourself? God, you’re such a good boy.”

Connor nearly spills into his denim, hips stuttering. He doubles his efforts, swapping again to fill you with his fingers. When his mouth wraps around your clit, a sucking pressure pulls at your nerves, making your back arch off the blanket. Brown eyes rake over your exposed breasts, the filtered sunlight kissing your skin and the wrecked, half lidded glance you give him. He thinks it can’t get better than this, lying under clouds with the summer sun hidden through dense leaves, and his childhood crush making a mess of his face.

“I’m close,” you whimper.

Oh, so it can get better. Connor whines from the combined friction of his hand, your tightness and imagines how perfect you’d feel surrounding him. He can see it now, you with your legs around his waist, back arched the way it is now— fuck, you’d feel so much better than the dull friction he’s getting through thick denim.

“Baby, please. I want to… I… I want to come with you,” he pants breathlessly.

A string of please’s connects until it’s melded into one unintelligible word and he’s mumbling it while desperately fucking you with his mouth and fingers. The strand of reality keeping you on this plane snaps and you suddenly feel like you’re drifting in a warm ocean, basking in the glow of the sun. Your body sinks into the water and bobs back up, dipping in and out of euphoria in waves.

The sharp cry of Connor’s name leaving your lips is all it takes for him to follow shortly after you. He works you through the afterglow, tongue lazily dragging over a swollen bud of nerves. His hands, wet as they are, drag up your legs to grip your hips. Arms outstretching, you try to coax him to lie on top of you and he rises up from his knees until his face hovers over yours.

“My face is quite messy, I’m unsure if…” he begins when you wrap a hand around his neck and pull his face lower. Shaking your head to disagree with him, you crush your mouth to his and taste yourself on his lips.

Sweet and tart, like summer fruit.

Your hand wanders, cramming to fit between a small gap in his jeans and bare skin and finds the sticky mess in his clothes. Connor moans softly when he feels your fingers caress his cock,  catching a sample of his release. You bring your hand to your lips and he’s watching you intensely, mouth parting around another curse word. Your tongue wraps around your fingers, lips sucking his slick off your hand.

“You taste like summer,” you tell him, smiling softly.

The light catches around his hair and shoulders in a golden halo as he hovers over you. Evidence of your afternoon together is marked on him and Connor wears it proudly. Slowly, his lips spread, eyes softening and you swear you can see your futures in them.

“You, too,” he whispers back.

An arm wraps around your waist and hugs you to him, his face lost in the crook of your neck. Your eyes close, enjoying the cool breeze, his warm body on yours. Connor turns to kiss you in a way that tells you summer is only the beginning of something new between you and the boy you’ve known your whole life.

Leaves drift overhead, carrying themselves across fields of wildflowers. A train sounds off in the distance as he reaches over your head, plucking a dandelion from the grass. White tuff clings to a stem as it’s brought to your lips.

“Make a wish,” he says.

You think of Connor, lips picked up at the corners, freckled cheeks turning tanner by the day and make your wish.

-

💙 To Connor’s masterlist.

[ngt48fanshub]

(ENGLISH TRANSLATION) BOMB! MAGAZINE 05/2024 ISSUE - NGT48 KITAMURA YUHA INTERVIEW

"Bittersweet Kindness."

NGT48 Special Feature Part 2

NGT48 Yuha Kitamura

The 3rd generation member Yuha-chan, who will carry the future of NGT48, makes her debut in BOMB magazine's swimsuit gravure. Like a sweet and sour strawberry, please enjoy her gravure filled with cuteness!

"You are dazzling as you flap your wings freely."

KITAMURA YUHA Born September 22, 2004. Height: 154cm. Blood Type-B. Nickname: Yuuha, Yupa. 3rd Generation member.

"Your smile is the best."

"I’m shy, but I want to become someone everyone can rely on and look up to."

Ⓠ After the announcement at the summer concert last August (of 2023), you were officially promoted from a kenkyuusei to a regular member at the theater performance in December (of 2023). How did you feel during that time? Yuha: "There was actually a fair amount of time between the announcement and the promotion itself. If things had progressed quickly, I might not have been able to keep up emotionally. But since I had time to prepare myself mentally, I think it turned out for the best. It was also during the rehearsals for the 'Omoide Ippai' performance, so I reminded myself to be more dependable than ever."

Ⓠ Meanwhile, for Niigata, known for its snowy winters, the long-awaited spring has arrived. What does spring mean to you, Yuha-chan? Yuha: "There's still some snow left, so you can sometimes see the snow and cherry blossoms together. Oh, but this year we had a mild winter, so the snow might already be gone… Near my family’s home, there's a row of cherry trees along the river, and in spring, I used to take walks there often. When it comes to food, I think of kusa mochi (mugwort rice cakes)."

Ⓠ This is your third gravure photoshoot, so you’re still just starting out, right? Yuha: "Yes. Each time, they capture my natural expressions and movements, and I feel like I can show my true self more when I'm alone. I’m enjoying it."

Ⓠ What was the main focus this time? Yuha: "Up until now, I've done more mature-looking gravure shoots, but this time they incorporated things I personally like, so I think it has a really cute vibe to it."

Ⓠ On April 13 (of 2024), Honma Hinata will be graduating. That means it’s time for you, Yuha-chan, and the other 3rd generation members to take on more responsibility, right? Yuha: "I’m still not very good at bringing people together or expressing what I’m thinking… But I know I need to gradually improve in those areas, and I want to become someone others can rely on. I also want to become the kind of member people say, 'Yuuha really suits the center position.'"

Ⓠ Now you have 4th generation members joining as juniors. Yuha: "They’re all really friendly. I’m pretty shy, so I struggle to initiate conversations, but they come up to me and say things like, 'Kitamura-san, let’s take a photo together!'"

Ⓠ Do you have any dreams or goals for what kind of NGT48 you want to create? Yuha: "I think many fans may drift away when their favorite members graduate. But I want us to be the kind of group that, when those fans see us again for any reason, they think, 'I still love NGT48,' and feel drawn back to us. Also, I’ve had this thought since before I joined: Niigata is a large place with many festivals and events in each region. I want us to actively participate in those events so the people of Niigata can come to love us more."

Ⓠ Speaking of which, you were appointed as a Special Ambassador for Ojiya City (Yuha's hometown). Yuha: "Ojiya has warm-hearted people and many things to be proud of, like soba, Nishikigoi (koi fish), and bullfighting, so I hope everyone will come visit! For this gravure shoot, they prepared a lot of feathers, creating a world filled with things I love. As the 3rd generation members, we’ll work hard to lead the group and make it even better than before, so please keep supporting us!"

"A comforting atmosphere just by being nearby."

"Sweet and tangy, just like a strawberry. You make my heart skip a beat."

"Your kindness overflowed. A happy moment."

INFORMATION "Homma Hinata Graduation Concert ~ Look Up for the Cherry Blossoms ~" will be held on Saturday, April 13, at Niigata Prefectural Civic Hall. In January of this year, Yuha-chan was appointed as a Special Ambassador for Ojiya City, her hometown. The "Omoide Ippai" performance is currently showing at the NGT48 Theater. For the latest updates, check the official website, or follow on official X (@yuha_kitamura) & Instagram (@yuha_kitamura).

[akiwitch]

Waterweed

For the @writeblrcafe secret santa event! Hopefully my giftee likes it!

Nia was ten the first time she saw the kelpie.

It was laundry day, and she was a few steps ahead of her mother, walking through the watching woods to the safe part of the stream.

She stopped short when she saw the gray horse, laying next to the bank, just upstream of where they scrubbed the clothes.

At first it looked like a normal horse, and she wondered for a moment if it belonged to one of the hunters that entered the woods and never returned. She took a step closer, just as her mother’s steely hand closed over her shoulder.

“Not this one,” her mother said, voice calm and even. “This is not for you.”

Something rippled in the air over it, and the eyes turned milky like pearls, an emerald sheen casting its coat. Waterweeds wove through the dark of its mane.

It pulled back its lips, baring teeth far too sharp for any horse.

The illusion of a beautiful horse with large, dark eyes draped over it a moment later, but she had seen its true nature.

Her mother nodded, as if that was enough, and took her a little farther downstream than normal to do the laundry, the kelpie trudging after them and laying just far enough away that her mother didn’t try to chase it off.

“As long as you don’t get on its back it won’t harm you,” her mother reassured her.

“Then why is it here?” She glanced at it, and it nickered softly in return.

Her mother gave it a long, careful look. “I believe…it’s lonely. Not hungry. Not right now.”

Nia didn’t see the kelpie again until the winter she turned fifteen.

The winter her mother left.

Left wasn’t quite right. She was taken, by the watching woods, no matter how willing she might have been. Willing to get away from Nia’s father. Willing to take a chance with the fair folk waiting in the trees with kind smiles and sharp eyes.

Nia stumbled to the stream on the pretense of getting water, but in reality she didn’t want to be in the house with her father. Part of her wanted to follow the beckoning of the fair folk, take the same risk of the watching woods her mother did.

But the woods didn’t call to her. Nothing waited beneath the snow bound boughs but empty space and shadows. The whispering she heard was only the wind moving through the trees.

She sank into the snowy bank, wrapped her arms around herself, and tried very hard not to cry.

Her mother was gone.

The grief felt too big for her chest, like it would break her ribs and squeeze out her heart in order to be free, and no amount of gasping seemed to let her breathe around it.

Something ruffled her hair, a huff of hot air, and she jerked in surprise, looking up to see the kelpie standing over her. It had already dropped any pretense of illusions, or maybe it felt no need to hide. Like it could see the gaping wound in her chest, as hollow as a huldra’s back.

“I’m not going to try to ride you.”

She didn’t know if she told the truth.

The kelpie lay in the snow, close enough she could feel the surprising heat rolling off it. She thought it would have been cold-blooded. If she wanted to, she could have reached out and touched the glistening short fur, brushed her fingers over the emerald sheen.

Something stayed her hand, but she didn’t try to move away.

“If I did, would you take me to my mother?” her voice came out hoarse, like the screams inside her clawed at her throat.

The kelpie didn’t answer. She couldn’t have said what she would have done if it did.

So she simply sat there, until the sky grew dark and when she stood up, it had already left, leaving behind a smooth stone, dark against the snow, and nothing else.

Nia kept the stone in her pocket.

 Kept it with her every time she went to do the laundry, and more often than not the kelpie waited for her. They kept each other company while Nia did the laundry, when she took the darning to the stream to work in the summer sun, when she went there to simply sit and be away from home. Sometimes Nia told the kelpie about her day. Often they just sat in companionable silence.

She never got on its back, never drew close enough to touch it. She’d heard the stories of people’s hands sticking to a kelpie’s neck. Of being drawn down into the water without ever getting on the kelpie’s back.

But she didn’t mind the company. They went for walks, sometimes, down the path of the stream, over mossy rocks and under the graceful droop of willows brushing the water with their hair. She never felt watched in the woods, despite the name. Nothing  ever beckoned to her from between the branches, even when a huldra lured her neighbor’s husband away. Even when she heard tales of mermaids in the lake the stream fed into.

The forest could have been entirely normal, if it weren’t for her constant companion.

She named it Lily, after the flowers that bloomed in its mane.

It wasn’t perfect. She missed her mother, wished that she had a way to find her, even if she hadn’t survived the fair folk and their knife edge smiles. She didn’t want to be home, with her father that drank away any money he brought in.

But she had the kelpie. She had the forest.

It was enough.

Until she turned eighteen and she found herself crouched on the bank of the stream, another grief so terrible and large it filled her lungs with ice.

A huff of warm air, stirring her long brown hair.

“Hello, Lily.” The words came out forced, choked, barely formed. Lily didn’t answer, but she never did, though the stories all said kelpies could speak, could shapeshift. “My father…he wants me to marry. Selling me off, to a man three times my age. He’s cruel, he’s had three wives before me, I…”

The words clogged up her throat and she buried her face into her knees until she could almost breathe again. When she looked up it was to a milky pearl eye, very close to her own.

“I think I’m ready to get on your back,” she whispered, reaching out to touch Lily’s neck. The hair was slightly damp, but soft and sleek, like velvet.

A ripple, and a beautiful woman with gray skin and waterweed hair knelt before her, Nia’s fingers still on her neck. She reached up and caressed Nia’s cheek, her touch so gentle it was like a breeze.

“If that is what you want, I can take you to your mother.” Lily smiled, a display of too many sharp teeth. Her eyes were still like pearls. “But only if you bring someone who will ride me first.”

Nia thought of her father, driving away her mother, trying to sell her off. The greed that shone in his eyes. How he wouldn’t question where a beautiful horse came from, only hope that he could sell it.

She smiled for the first time in what felt like a long time. “I can think of someone.”

[plushee-cant-draw]

DST Quotes for the Wendy + Walter + Wortox Skill Tree Beta (and 2024 Winter's Feast!)

just a littleeee late. Busy with school irl TwT but I'm done with all of that for now!!

All of the quotes I can find for every character is below the cut, along with the scrapbook entries that have been added! So. there's a ton of text below the cut and it's very long, like usual.

Btw!! Currently for the beta there's a decent amount of scrapbook entries and some quotes that are just. missing from the code. like they just say "TODO", --[[TODO]]. I haven't included any of these, so if you notice a character is missing quotes, that's probably why.

I'll check each update (hotfix?) to the beta + the final update release to see if these have been added yet and put any new (or missed!) quotes in a reblog. probably. I hope I remember Also I'm not sure if

For what each quote corresponds to in game,

-- Meta 5 GHOSTLYELIXIR_LUNAR = "Luminous Wrath", GHOSTLYELIXIR_SHADOW = "Cursed Vexation", GRAVEGUARD_GHOST = "Bigspook", (I don't know what this is but characters don't seem to have quotes for it from what I can tell.) DUG_GRAVESTONE = "Headstone", WENDY_RECIPE_GRAVESTONE = "Headstone", (Characters don't seem to have quotes/unique quotes for the dug gravestons either.) SLINGSHOTMODKIT = "Slingshot Field Kit", SLINGSHOT_BAND_PIGSKIN = "Pig Skin Slingshot Band", SLINGSHOT_BAND_TENTACLE = "Flailing Slingshot Band", SLINGSHOT_BAND_MIMIC = "Possessed Slingshot Band", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_BONE = "Bony Slingshot Frame", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_GEMS = "Thulecite Slingshot Frame", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK_0 = "Scrappy Slingshot Frame", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK = "Scrappier Slingshot Frame", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_STICKY = "Slingshot Sticky Grip", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_JELLY = "Slingshot Jelly Grip", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_SILK = "Slingshot Grip Tape", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_VOIDCLOTH = "Slingshot Void Wrap", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "Woby Training Station", ELIXIR_CONTAINER = "Picnic Casket", GHOSTFLOWERHAT = "Wraith's Wreath", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE = "Perennial Altar", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE_NAMED = "{name}'s Perennial Altar",

-- Wortox WORTOX_REVIVER_FMT = "{name}'s Twintailed Heart", WORTOX_REVIVER = "Twintailed Heart", -- For an unclaimed Heart. WORTOX_NABBAG = "Knabsack", WORTOX_SOULJAR = "Soul Jar", WORTOX_DECOY_FMT = "{name}?", WORTOX_DECOY = "Wortox?", -- For an unnamed Decoy.

(There's a note in the code stating that "--WORTOX_DECOY is not needed because it uses the default WORTOX inspection.")

-- Walter SLINGSHOTAMMO_STINGER = "Stinger Rounds", SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "Moon Glass Rounds" SLINGSHOTAMMO_GELBLOB = "Icky Rounds", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "Shockscrap Rounds", SLINGSHOTAMMO_DREADSTONE = "Dreadstone Rounds", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "Gunpowder Rounds", SLINGSHOTAMMO_LUNARPLANTHUSK = "Brightshade Husk Rounds", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "Pure Brilliance Rounds", SLINGSHOTAMMO_HORRORFUEL = "Pure Horror Rounds",Pure Horror Rounds",

SNOWMAN = "Snowman", SNOWBALL_LARGE = "Large Snowball", SNOWBALL_ITEM = "Snowball",

-- Wendy GHOSTLYELIXIR_REVIVE = "Ghastly Experience"

(There's also various announcement quotes and character specific quotes. Some of the character specific quotes might be old? I'm not sure if they are or not but I'm including them to be safe + extra context if they're not

Onto the character quotes now!!)

Wilson:

SNOWMAN = { GENERIC = "It's snow laughing matter!", SNOWBALL = "Someone knew their roll!", }, SNOWBALL_ITEM = "Not throwing this chance away...", DECORATESNOWMAN = { INUSE = "It's being snowmanned!", HASHAT = "I can't top that hat!", STACKEDTOOHIGH = "It's too high!", MELTING = "I can't! It's about to melt!", }, -- Meta 5 GHOSTLYELIXIR_LUNAR = "Ah yes. Very science-y.", GHOSTLYELIXIR_SHADOW = "Ah yes. Very science-y.", SLINGSHOTMODKIT = "Walter's really giving it his best shot.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_PIGSKIN = "Walter's really giving it his best shot.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_TENTACLE = "Walter's really giving it his best shot.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_MIMIC = "Walter's really giving it his best shot.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_BONE = "Walter's really giving it his best shot.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_GEMS = "Walter's really giving it his best shot.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK_0 = "Walter's really giving it his best shot.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK = "Walter's really giving it his best shot.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_STICKY = "Walter's really giving it his best shot.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_JELLY = "Walter's really giving it his best shot.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_SILK = "Walter's really giving it his best shot.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_VOIDCLOTH = "Walter's really giving it his best shot.", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks.", ELIXIR_CONTAINER = "That's more of a mortician's bag than a basket.", GHOSTFLOWERHAT = "This makes me thirsty.", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE = "Strangely reassuring!", },

--Wortox

WORTOX_NABBAG = "He's a chip off the ol' Krampus.", WORTOX_REVIVER = "I can guess what that's fur.", WORTOX_SOULJAR = "It's rather jarring if you think about it.",

-- Wendy

GHOSTLYELIXIR_REVIVE = "Ah yes. Very science-y.", SISTURN = { LOTS_OF_FLOWERS_EVIL = "It gives me a bad feeling.", LOTS_OF_FLOWERS_BLOSSOM = "What an eerie sound.", },

-- Walter

SLINGSHOTAMMO_STINGER = "Shots to be stinged?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "Shots to be slinged... slung?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GELBLOB = "Shots to be slinged.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "Shots to be slinged.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_DREADSTONE = "Shots to be slinged.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "Shots to be slinged.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_LUNARPLANTHUSK = "Shots to be slinged.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "Shots to be slinged.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_HORRORFUEL = "Shots to be slinged.",

-- Winter's Feast 2024 ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_TOO_BIG = "It won't get any bigger than that.", ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_NO_SNOW = "There's not enough snow on the ground.",

--rifts 5 ANNOUNCE_WORTOX_REVIVER_FAILTELEPORT = "Hmm. What went wrong?",

ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_BOOSTED = "It's like a BOO-ster Shot.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_GHOSTVISION = "I feel fright headed.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_PLAYER_SPEED = "I think I could lift a horse.",

ANNOUNCE_EXLIIR_TOO_SUPER = "This one seems a little strong.",

Willow:

SNOWMAN = { GENERIC = "Whatever.", SNOWBALL = "Great. Now what?", }, SNOWBALL_ITEM = "Who needs a snowball to the face?", DECORATESNOWMAN = { INUSE = "Someone's doing that one.", HASHAT = "There's a dumb hat on it.", STACKEDTOOHIGH = "I can't get it up there.", MELTING = "Nope. It's melting. Haha.", }, -- Meta 5 GHOSTLYELIXIR_LUNAR = "Someone should probably check if it's flammable. I volunteer!", GHOSTLYELIXIR_SHADOW = "Someone should probably check if it's flammable. I volunteer!", SLINGSHOTMODKIT = "That kid loves slinging almost as much as I love burning.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_PIGSKIN = "That kid loves slinging almost as much as I love burning.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_TENTACLE = "That kid loves slinging almost as much as I love burning.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_MIMIC = "That kid loves slinging almost as much as I love burning.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_BONE = "That kid loves slinging almost as much as I love burning.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_GEMS = "That kid loves slinging almost as much as I love burning.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK_0 = "That kid loves slinging almost as much as I love burning.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK = "That kid loves slinging almost as much as I love burning.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_STICKY = "That kid loves slinging almost as much as I love burning.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_JELLY = "That kid loves slinging almost as much as I love burning.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_SILK = "That kid loves slinging almost as much as I love burning.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_VOIDCLOTH = "That kid loves slinging almost as much as I love burning.", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "Big deal. Bernie doesn't care about badges.", ELIXIR_CONTAINER = "Wonder what she's got sloshing around in there.", GHOSTFLOWERHAT = "Pretty. I guess.", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE = "Does it work if you've been cremated?", },

--Wortox

WORTOX_NABBAG = "My stuff better not be in there.", WORTOX_REVIVER = "I guess it makes dying less inconvenient.", WORTOX_SOULJAR = "He can't put our souls in there can he?",

-- Wendy

GHOSTLYELIXIR_REVIVE = "Someone should probably check if it's flammable. I volunteer!",

-- Walter

SLINGSHOTAMMO_STINGER = "Ever considered making your ammo a little more flammable?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "Ever considered making your ammo a little more flammable?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GELBLOB = "Ever considered making your ammo a little more flammable?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "Ever considered making your ammo a little more flammable?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_DREADSTONE = "Ever considered making your ammo a little more flammable?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "Oh yeah. That's the stuff.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_LUNARPLANTHUSK = "Ever considered making your ammo a little more flammable?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "Ever considered making your ammo a little more flammable?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_HORRORFUEL = "Ever considered making your ammo a little more flammable?",

-- Winter's Feast 2024 ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_TOO_BIG = "It's useless to try and roll it any bigger.", ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_NO_SNOW = "There's no snow here.",

--rifts 5 ANNOUNCE_WORTOX_REVIVER_FAILTELEPORT = "Failure!", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_BOOSTED = "That's the stuff!", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_GHOSTVISION = "But I see fine by firelight.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_PLAYER_SPEED = "I could lift Wolfgang!", ANNOUNCE_EXLIIR_TOO_SUPER = "Phew! That's too strong.",

Wolfgang:

SNOWMAN = { GENERIC = "Pretty!", SNOWBALL = "What a cute snowball.", }, SNOWBALL_ITEM = "Wolfgang is snowball fight champion.", DECORATESNOWMAN = { INUSE = "Not Wolfgang turn.", HASHAT = "Cannot smush hat.", STACKEDTOOHIGH = "Too tall, even for Wolfgang.", MELTING = "Noooo. It's melting. Wolfgang not crying.", }, -- Meta 5 GHOSTLYELIXIR_LUNAR = "Wolfgang not trust tiny bottles made by creepy girl.", GHOSTLYELIXIR_SHADOW = "Wolfgang not trust tiny bottles made by creepy girl.", SLINGSHOTMODKIT = "Be careful, little scout boy!", SLINGSHOT_BAND_PIGSKIN = "Be careful, little scout boy!", SLINGSHOT_BAND_TENTACLE = "Be careful, little scout boy!", SLINGSHOT_BAND_MIMIC = "Be careful, little scout boy!", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_BONE = "Be careful, little scout boy!", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_GEMS = "Be careful, little scout boy!", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK_0 = "Be careful, little scout boy!", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK = "Be careful, little scout boy!", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_STICKY = "Be careful, little scout boy!", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_JELLY = "Be careful, little scout boy!", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_SILK = "Be careful, little scout boy!", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_VOIDCLOTH = "Be careful, little scout boy!", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "Smart Woby!", ELIXIR_CONTAINER = "Little ghost girl have many supplements.", GHOSTFLOWERHAT = "Is pretty... and creepy.", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE = "Wolfgang like this... for others.", },

--Wortox

WORTOX_NABBAG = "Nice stealing bag.", WORTOX_REVIVER = "Wolfang not need. Wolfgang never die.", WORTOX_SOULJAR = "Hello little souls!",

-- Wendy GHOSTLYELIXIR_REVIVE = "Wolfgang not trust tiny bottles made by creepy girl.", SISTURN = { LOTS_OF_FLOWERS_EVIL = "Little flowers make Wolfgang feel strange.", LOTS_OF_FLOWERS_BLOSSOM = "What that spooky sound?", },

-- Walter

SLINGSHOTAMMO_STINGER = "Is little bits of junk.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "Is little bits of moon.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GELBLOB = "Is little bits of junk.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "Is little bits of junk.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_DREADSTONE = "Is little bits of junk.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "Is little bits of junk.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_LUNARPLANTHUSK = "Is little bits of junk.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "Is little bits of junk.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_HORRORFUEL = "Is little bits of scary.",

-- Winter's Feast 2024 ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_TOO_BIG = "Snowball will not grow bigger.", ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_NO_SNOW = "Not enough snow here.", --rifts 5 ANNOUNCE_WORTOX_REVIVER_FAILTELEPORT = "Boooo. Why not working?", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_BOOSTED = "Very nice!", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_GHOSTVISION = "Wolfgang is brave. Wolfgang is brave.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_PLAYER_SPEED = "Super Wolfgang!", ANNOUNCE_EXLIIR_TOO_SUPER = "Yuck! No, too much.",

Wendy:

SNOWMAN = { GENERIC = "The cold keeps it.", SNOWBALL = "It has potential.", }, SNOWBALL_ITEM = "I remember fun.", DECORATESNOWMAN = { INUSE = "I won't interrupt.", HASHAT = "I can't crush that poor hat.", STACKEDTOOHIGH = "It's too tall.", MELTING = "It's no use. It's the end for this one.", }, MUTATE = { NOGHOST = "I need Abby for this.", NONEWMOON = "The moon is too bright.", NOFULLMOON = "The moon must be at its brightest.", NOTNIGHT = "It won't work in the sun.", }, -- Meta 5 GHOSTLYELIXIR_LUNAR = "You'll leave them reeling, Abby.", GHOSTLYELIXIR_SHADOW = "Abby will make a big impression.", SLINGSHOTMODKIT = "Walter is getting serious with his slingshotting.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_PIGSKIN = "Walter is getting serious with his slingshotting.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_TENTACLE = "Walter is getting serious with his slingshotting.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_MIMIC = "Walter is getting serious with his slingshotting.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_BONE = "Walter is getting serious with his slingshotting.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_GEMS = "Walter is getting serious with his slingshotting.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK_0 = "Walter is getting serious with his slingshotting.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK = "Walter is getting serious with his slingshotting.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_STICKY = "Walter is getting serious with his slingshotting.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_JELLY = "Walter is getting serious with his slingshotting.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_SILK = "Walter is getting serious with his slingshotting.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_VOIDCLOTH = "Walter is getting serious with his slingshotting.", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "What a good girl, that Woby.", ELIXIR_CONTAINER = "If only I could have helped you then, as much as I can now.", GHOSTFLOWERHAT = "That I may walk a mile under your veil, Abby.", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE = "If only...", },,

--Wortox

WORTOX_NABBAG = "He's becoming more like Krampus.", WORTOX_REVIVER = "Of course it won't work for Abigail.", WORTOX_SOULJAR = "You can hear the souls screaming inside.",

-- Wendy GHOSTLYELIXIR_REVIVE = "You'll feel like yourself again soon, Abby.", SISTURN = { LOTS_OF_FLOWERS_EVIL = "These don't make me feel good, but they help Abigail.", LOTS_OF_FLOWERS_BLOSSOM = "I can almost hear your voice, Abby.", },

-- Walter

SLINGSHOTAMMO_STINGER = "Someone could trip and break their neck. Maybe it will be me.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "Someone could trip and break their neck. Pretty though.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GELBLOB = "Someone could trip and break their neck. Maybe it will be me.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "Someone could trip and break their neck. Maybe it will be me.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_DREADSTONE = "Someone could trip and break their neck. Maybe it will be me.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "Someone could trip and break their neck. Maybe it will be me.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_LUNARPLANTHUSK = "Someone could trip and break their neck. Maybe it will be me.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "Someone could trip and break their neck. Maybe it will be me.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_HORRORFUEL = "Someone could trip and break their neck. Maybe it will be me.",

-- Winter's Feast 2024 ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_TOO_BIG = "There's no use rolling it more.", ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_NO_SNOW = "The ground lies barren, stripped of its winter coat.", --rifts 5 ANNOUNCE_WENDY_BABYSITTER_SET = "I'll come back for you, Abby.", ANNOUNCE_WENDY_BABYSITTER_STOP = "Abby, let's go!", ANNOUNCE_WORTOX_REVIVER_FAILTELEPORT = "That got us nowhere.", ANNOUNCE_NO_ABIGAIL_FLOWER = "I need Abby's flower to pour it on.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_BOOSTED = "All comfort is fleeting.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_GHOSTVISION = "My world is just as cold and dark without you, Abby.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_PLAYER_SPEED = "My heart is still heavy.", ANNOUNCE_ABIGAIL_HIDING = "only_used_by_wendy", (...Despite this being Wendy's speech file.) ANNOUNCE_EXLIIR_TOO_SUPER = "It's too much.",

ATTACH_GHOST = { WRONG_SISTURN = "I left Abby at a different one I guess.", SISTURN_OFF = "It's not pretty enough for you, Abby.", ABIGAIL_NOT_NEAR = "Abby is too far away.",

ANNOUNCE_SISTURN_FULL_EVIL = "This gives me goosebumps. I hope it was worth it.", ANNOUNCE_SISTURN_FULL_BLOSSOM = "This might be as close as we've ever come, Abigail.",

WENDY_SKILLTREE_EASTEREGG = "That you, Abby?", } (This is only in Wendy's speech file from what I can tell.)

WX-78:

SNOWMAN = { GENERIC = "NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING COLD INSIDE", SNOWBALL = "SPARE PARTS", }, SNOWBALL_ITEM = "THIS WILL HURT", DECORATESNOWMAN = { INUSE = "ENGAGED BY USER", HASHAT = "BLOCKED BY HAT", STACKEDTOOHIGH = "MAXIMUM HEIGHT REACHED", MELTING = "DENIED. STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY DEGRADING", }, -- Meta 5 GHOSTLYELIXIR_LUNAR = "INFERIOR CRAFTSMANSHIP. A CHILD COULD HAVE MADE THIS", GHOSTLYELIXIR_SHADOW = "INFERIOR CRAFTSMANSHIP. A CHILD COULD HAVE MADE THIS", SLINGSHOTMODKIT = "WEAPON AUGMENTATION. NICE BUT STILL PRIMITIVE", SLINGSHOT_BAND_PIGSKIN = "WEAPON AUGMENTATION. NICE BUT STILL PRIMITIVE", SLINGSHOT_BAND_TENTACLE = "WEAPON AUGMENTATION. NICE BUT STILL PRIMITIVE", SLINGSHOT_BAND_MIMIC = "WEAPON AUGMENTATION. NICE BUT STILL PRIMITIVE", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_BONE = "WEAPON AUGMENTATION. NICE BUT STILL PRIMITIVE", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_GEMS = "WEAPON AUGMENTATION. NICE BUT STILL PRIMITIVE", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK_0 = "WEAPON AUGMENTATION. NOT BAD", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK = "WEAPON AUGMENTATION. BETTER", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_STICKY = "WEAPON AUGMENTATION. NICE BUT STILL PRIMITIVE", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_JELLY = "WEAPON AUGMENTATION. NICE BUT STILL PRIMITIVE", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_SILK = "WEAPON AUGMENTATION. NICE BUT STILL PRIMITIVE", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_VOIDCLOTH = "WEAPON AUGMENTATION. NICE BUT STILL PRIMITIVE", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "DROOL MACHINE RECALIBRATION SYSTEM", ELIXIR_CONTAINER = "UNDEAD SYSTEM ENHANCEMENT PACK", GHOSTFLOWERHAT = "POST-LIVING APPLICATION", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE = "MORTAL REBOOT", },

--Wortox

WORTOX_NABBAG = "FOR STEALING AND VIOLENCE. NOT BAD", WORTOX_REVIVER = "FLESHBAGS AND THEIR SECOND CHANCES. HA", WORTOX_SOULJAR = "HE EATS THEIR SOULS. GRUDGING RESPECT",

-- Wendy

GHOSTLYELIXIR_REVIVE = "INFERIOR CRAFTSMANSHIP. A CHILD COULD HAVE MADE THIS",

-- Walter

SLINGSHOTAMMO_STINGER = "FLESHSACKS, FINDING NEW INNOVATIVE WAYS TO THROW ROCKS AT EACH OTHER", SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "FLESHSACKS WASTING PRECIOUS INORGANIC MOON BITS", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GELBLOB = "FLESHSACKS, FINDING NEW INNOVATIVE WAYS TO THROW... GUNK AT EACH OTHER", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "FLESHSACKS, FINDING NEW INNOVATIVE WAYS TO THROW ROCKS AT EACH OTHER", SLINGSHOTAMMO_DREADSTONE = "FLESHSACKS, FINDING NEW INNOVATIVE WAYS TO THROW ROCKS AT EACH OTHER", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "FLESHSACKS, FINDING NEW INNOVATIVE WAYS TO THROW ROCKS AT EACH OTHER", SLINGSHOTAMMO_LUNARPLANTHUSK = "FLESHSACKS, FINDING NEW INNOVATIVE WAYS TO THROW ROCKS AT EACH OTHER", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "FLESHSACKS, FINDING NEW INNOVATIVE WAYS TO THROW ROCKS AT EACH OTHER", SLINGSHOTAMMO_HORRORFUEL = "FLESHSACKS, FINDING NEW INNOVATIVE WAYS TO THROW ROCKS AT EACH OTHER",

-- Winter's Feast 2024 ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_TOO_BIG = "MAXIMUM SIZE REACHED", ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_NO_SNOW = "INSUFFICIENT MATERIAL", --rifts 5 ANNOUNCE_WORTOX_REVIVER_FAILTELEPORT = "ERROR: BAD LOOP DETECTED", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_BOOSTED = "FUEL REPLENISHED AND SYSTEMS DEBUGGED", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_GHOSTVISION = "POST-LIVING SENSORS ACTIVATED", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_PLAYER_SPEED = "SYSTEMS POWERED UP", ANNOUNCE_EXLIIR_TOO_SUPER = "DENIED. CONTENTS OVERLOADED",

Wickerbottom:

SNOWMAN = { GENERIC = "Interesting.", SNOWBALL = "It needs much more to call it a snowman.", }, SNOWBALL_ITEM = "Those young ones better mind their manners.", DECORATESNOWMAN = { INUSE = "There's obviously someone decorating it now.", HASHAT = "I can't put it on top of the hat.", STACKEDTOOHIGH = "It's simply too tall for another.", MELTING = "There's no use decorating a snowman that's about to melt.", }, -- Meta 5 GHOSTLYELIXIR_LUNAR = "Color-coded and clearly labeled. Well done!", GHOSTLYELIXIR_SHADOW = "Color-coded and clearly labeled. Well done!", SLINGSHOTMODKIT = "What is that Walter up to now?", SLINGSHOT_BAND_PIGSKIN = "What is that Walter up to now?", SLINGSHOT_BAND_TENTACLE = "What is that Walter up to now?", SLINGSHOT_BAND_MIMIC = "What is that Walter up to now?", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_BONE = "What is that Walter up to now?", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_GEMS = "What is that Walter up to now?", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK_0 = "What is that Walter up to now?", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK = "What is that Walter up to now?", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_STICKY = "What is that Walter up to now?", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_JELLY = "What is that Walter up to now?", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_SILK = "What is that Walter up to now?", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_VOIDCLOTH = "What is that Walter up to now?", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "Woby's penchant for learning is unprecedented.", ELIXIR_CONTAINER = "What a pretty elixir organizer!", GHOSTFLOWERHAT = "It allows one to imbibe like the dead.", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE = "Death is not the end.", },

--Wortox

WORTOX_NABBAG = "I hope he won't take after that nasty Krampus.", WORTOX_REVIVER = "Be responsible and we'll never have to use it.", WORTOX_SOULJAR = "A receptacle for souls.",

-- Wendy

GHOSTLYELIXIR_REVIVE = "Color-coded and clearly labeled. Well done!",

-- Walter

SLINGSHOTAMMO_STINGER = "Remember to clean up after yourself, dear.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "Remember to clean up after yourself, dear.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GELBLOB = "Remember to clean up after yourself, dear.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "Remember to clean up after yourself, dear.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_DREADSTONE = "Remember to clean up after yourself, dear.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "Remember to clean up after yourself, dear.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_LUNARPLANTHUSK = "Remember to clean up after yourself, dear.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "Remember to clean up after yourself, dear.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_HORRORFUEL = "Remember to clean up after yourself, dear.",

-- Winter's Feast 2024 ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_TOO_BIG = "It has reached its full size.", ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_NO_SNOW = "There's no snow here to roll it in.", --rifts 5 ANNOUNCE_WORTOX_REVIVER_FAILTELEPORT = "Utterly disappointing.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_BOOSTED = "That will do nicely.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_GHOSTVISION = "My eyes have been adjusted to the darkness.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_PLAYER_SPEED = "Strength is wasted on the young!", ANNOUNCE_EXLIIR_TOO_SUPER = "That is too strong.",

Woodie:

SNOWMAN = { GENERIC = "I've seen my share of snowmen.", SNOWBALL = "Yup. That's a big ol' snowball.", }, SNOWBALL_ITEM = "The kids always used to aim for my head.", DECORATESNOWMAN = { INUSE = "It's being decorated.", HASHAT = "I can't just throw it on top of that hat.", STACKEDTOOHIGH = "She's too tall.", MELTING = "Looks like she's melting.", }, -- Meta 5 GHOSTLYELIXIR_LUNAR = "Whoof, smells like week-old sockeye!", GHOSTLYELIXIR_SHADOW = "Whoof, smells like week-old sockeye!", SLINGSHOTMODKIT = "Kid is getting fancy with that slingshooter.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_PIGSKIN = "Kid is getting fancy with that slingshooter.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_TENTACLE = "Kid is getting fancy with that slingshooter.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_MIMIC = "Kid is getting fancy with that slingshooter.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_BONE = "Kid is getting fancy with that slingshooter.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_GEMS = "Kid is getting fancy with that slingshooter.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK_0 = "Kid is getting fancy with that slingshooter.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK = "Kid is getting fancy with that slingshooter.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_STICKY = "Kid is getting fancy with that slingshooter.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_JELLY = "Kid is getting fancy with that slingshooter.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_SILK = "Kid is getting fancy with that slingshooter.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_VOIDCLOTH = "Kid is getting fancy with that slingshooter.", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "She's a good pup.", ELIXIR_CONTAINER = "Think there's a spooky six-pack in there.", GHOSTFLOWERHAT = "I'm not scared of wearin' it, Lucy. I just don't feel like it.", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE = "Of course I'd remember you, Luce.", },

--Wortox

WORTOX_NABBAG = "Looks pretty handy.", WORTOX_REVIVER = "That might be useful in a pinch.", WORTOX_SOULJAR = "To each their own.",

-- Wendy

GHOSTLYELIXIR_REVIVE = "Whoof, smells like week-old sockeye!", SISTURN = { LOTS_OF_FLOWERS_EVIL = "They're giving me a headache.", LOTS_OF_FLOWERS_BLOSSOM = "What a funny sound." },

-- Walter

SLINGSHOTAMMO_STINGER = "Not bad at all!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "Not bad at all!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GELBLOB = "Not bad at all!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "Not bad at all!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_DREADSTONE = "Not bad at all!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "Not bad at all!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_LUNARPLANTHUSK = "Not bad at all!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "Not bad at all!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_HORRORFUEL = "Not bad at all!",

-- Winter's Feast 2024 ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_TOO_BIG = "She won't get any bigger.", ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_NO_SNOW = "We need to find more snow.", --rifts 5 ANNOUNCE_WORTOX_REVIVER_FAILTELEPORT = "What gives?", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_BOOSTED = "That's alright, eh.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_GHOSTVISION = "Here's to seeing things in a different light.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_PLAYER_SPEED = "We are really movin', Luce!", ANNOUNCE_EXLIIR_TOO_SUPER = "I'll pass on that one.",

Wes:

Maxwell:

SNOWMAN = { GENERIC = "It's fine.", SNOWBALL = "Nice snowball.", }, SNOWBALL_ITEM = "Hmm. Where's Wilson?", DECORATESNOWMAN = { INUSE = "Someone's hogging it.", HASHAT = "There's a stupid hat in the way.", STACKEDTOOHIGH = "I'm not stacking it any higher.", MELTING = "It's about to melt.", }, -- Meta 5 GHOSTLYELIXIR_LUNAR = "It appears someone has been toying with the dark arts and crafts.", GHOSTLYELIXIR_SHADOW = "It appears someone has been toying with the dark arts and crafts.", SLINGSHOTMODKIT = "He'll shoot his eye out if he's not careful.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_PIGSKIN = "He'll shoot his eye out if he's not careful.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_TENTACLE = "He'll shoot his eye out if he's not careful.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_MIMIC = "He'll shoot his eye out if he's not careful.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_BONE = "He'll shoot his eye out if he's not careful.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_GEMS = "He'll shoot his eye out if he's not careful.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK_0 = "He'll shoot his eye out if he's not careful.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK = "He'll shoot his eye out if he's not careful.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_STICKY = "He'll shoot his eye out if he's not careful.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_JELLY = "He'll shoot his eye out if he's not careful.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_SILK = "He'll shoot his eye out if he's not careful.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_VOIDCLOTH = "He'll shoot his eye out if he's not careful.", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "Pfft. Dog acts.", ELIXIR_CONTAINER = "Don't think I'm fooled by its innocent appearance.", GHOSTFLOWERHAT = "Talk about a near death experience.", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE = "Insurance.", },

--Wortox

WORTOX_NABBAG = "I knew that imp couldn't be trusted.", WORTOX_REVIVER = "Is that his fur? Grotesque.", WORTOX_SOULJAR = "He's a soul sucker, that one.",

-- Wendy

GHOSTLYELIXIR_REVIVE = "It appears someone has been toying with the dark arts and crafts.",

-- Walter

SLINGSHOTAMMO_STINGER = "Ah, now that might be interesting.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "Ah, now that might be interesting.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GELBLOB = "Ah, now that might be interesting.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "Ah, now that might be interesting.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_DREADSTONE = "Ah, now that might be interesting.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "Ah, now that might be interesting.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_LUNARPLANTHUSK = "Ah, now that might be interesting.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "Ah, now that might be interesting.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_HORRORFUEL = "Ah, now that might be interesting.",

-- Winter's Feast 2024 ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_TOO_BIG = "Useless! It won't get any bigger.", ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_NO_SNOW = "There's no snow here.", --rifts 5 ANNOUNCE_WORTOX_REVIVER_FAILTELEPORT = "Surprise, surprise.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_BOOSTED = "That hit the spot.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_GHOSTVISION = "I'd rather sleep like the dead.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_PLAYER_SPEED = "Respect my brawn!", ANNOUNCE_EXLIIR_TOO_SUPER = "That's too stiff a drink.",

Wigfrid:

SNOWMAN = { GENERIC = "A fine tribute to the Jotnar.", SNOWBALL = "Not quite.", }, SNOWBALL_ITEM = "I do love a snow skirmish.", DECORATESNOWMAN = { INUSE = "It is engaged.", HASHAT = "I will not crush that hat!", STACKEDTOOHIGH = "'Tis tall enough!'", MELTING = "No further. 'Tis is returning to the earth.", }, -- Meta 5 GHOSTLYELIXIR_LUNAR = "'Tis a powerful elixir!", GHOSTLYELIXIR_SHADOW = "'Tis a powerful elixir!", SLINGSHOTMODKIT = "The young scout doth come into his own.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_PIGSKIN = "The young scout doth come into his own.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_TENTACLE = "The young scout doth come into his own.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_MIMIC = "The young scout doth come into his own.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_BONE = "The young scout doth come into his own.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_GEMS = "The young scout doth come into his own.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK_0 = "The young scout doth come into his own.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK = "The young scout doth come into his own.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_STICKY = "The young scout doth come into his own.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_JELLY = "The young scout doth come into his own.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_SILK = "The young scout doth come into his own.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_VOIDCLOTH = "The young scout doth come into his own.", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "The loyal cur showeth vast potential.", ELIXIR_CONTAINER = "The elixirs dost soothe her spirit.", GHOSTFLOWERHAT = "Cursed blossoms of the dead.", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE = "A warrior doth run toward death, not from it!", },

--Wortox

WORTOX_NABBAG = "The tool of a plunderer.", WORTOX_REVIVER = "Impish magic has power over death?", WORTOX_SOULJAR = "He doth keep souls of the slain.",

-- Wendy

GHOSTLYELIXIR_REVIVE = "'Tis a powerful elixir!",

-- Walter

SLINGSHOTAMMO_STINGER = "What fun is a battle without hand to hand combat?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "What fun is a battle without hand to hand combat?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GELBLOB = "What fun is a battle without hand to hand combat?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "What fun is a battle without hand to hand combat?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_DREADSTONE = "What fun is a battle without hand to hand combat?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "What fun is a battle without hand to hand combat?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_LUNARPLANTHUSK = "What fun is a battle without hand to hand combat?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "What fun is a battle without hand to hand combat?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_HORRORFUEL = "What fun is a battle without hand to hand combat?",

-- Winter's Feast 2024 ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_TOO_BIG = "'Tis futile to roll it further.", ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_NO_SNOW = "A fruitless endeavor.", --rifts 5 ANNOUNCE_WORTOX_REVIVER_FAILTELEPORT = "Blasted imp magic!", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_BOOSTED = "It doth soothe for but a fleeting moment.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_GHOSTVISION = "Visions from Helheim!", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_PLAYER_SPEED = "I am the battalion.", ANNOUNCE_EXLIIR_TOO_SUPER = "'Tis excess!",

Webber:

SNOWMAN = { GENERIC = "We love it!", SNOWBALL = "It's so... round!", }, SNOWBALL_ITEM = "Snowball fight!", DECORATESNOWMAN = { INUSE = "We have to wait our turn.", HASHAT = "We can't cover the hat.", STACKEDTOOHIGH = "It's so tall already!", MELTING = "Aww. It's going to melt!", }, -- Meta 5 GHOSTLYELIXIR_LUNAR = "Hey, you didn't tell me you were making crafts!", GHOSTLYELIXIR_SHADOW = "Hey, you didn't tell me you were making crafts!", SLINGSHOTMODKIT = "Walter has the best toys.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_PIGSKIN = "Walter has the best toys.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_TENTACLE = "Walter has the best toys.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_MIMIC = "Walter has the best toys.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_BONE = "Walter has the best toys.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_GEMS = "Walter has the best toys.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK_0 = "Walter has the best toys.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK = "Walter has the best toys.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_STICKY = "Walter has the best toys.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_JELLY = "Walter has the best toys.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_SILK = "Walter has the best toys.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_VOIDCLOTH = "Walter has the best toys.", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "Good girl, Woby!", ELIXIR_CONTAINER = "Will Abigail mind if we try some?", GHOSTFLOWERHAT = "We wanna wear it!", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE = "Oooh, we want one!", },

--Wortox

WORTOX_NABBAG = "Is it stealing if the thing is just on the ground?", WORTOX_REVIVER = "In case something bad happens.", WORTOX_SOULJAR = "Are there spider souls in there?",

-- Wendy

GHOSTLYELIXIR_REVIVE = "Hey, you didn't tell me you were making crafts!",

-- Walter

SLINGSHOTAMMO_STINGER = "Do you want us to help clean up?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "Do you want us to help clean up?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GELBLOB = "Do you want us to help clean up?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "Do you want us to help clean up?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_DREADSTONE = "Do you want us to help clean up?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "Do you want us to help clean up?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_LUNARPLANTHUSK = "Do you want us to help clean up?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "Do you want us to help clean up?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_HORRORFUEL = "Do you want us to help clean up?",

-- Winter's Feast 2024 ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_TOO_BIG = "We can't roll it any bigger!", ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_NO_SNOW = "Where's more snow?", --rifts 5 ANNOUNCE_WORTOX_REVIVER_FAILTELEPORT = "Weeeee! Huh?", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_BOOSTED = "Mmmm, we feel better.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_GHOSTVISION = "Like what Abby sees!", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_PLAYER_SPEED = "We can help carry heavy stuff!",

ANNOUNCE_EXLIIR_TOO_SUPER = "That's too much for us.",

Winona:

SNOWMAN = { GENERIC = "Not exactly a marvel of engineering.", SNOWBALL = "It's a start.", }, SNOWBALL_ITEM = "This could be fun.", DECORATESNOWMAN = { INUSE = "It's gettin' built already.", HASHAT = "I ain't gonna stack it on the hat.", STACKEDTOOHIGH = "That's a tall drink of ice water.", MELTING = "Ain't nothin' gonna stick to a melting snowman.", }, -- Meta 5 GHOSTLYELIXIR_LUNAR = "I don't think that's safe to drink...", GHOSTLYELIXIR_SHADOW = "I don't think that's safe to drink...", SLINGSHOTMODKIT = "Aww, Walt's quite the lil' tinkerer.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_PIGSKIN = "Aww, Walt's quite the lil' tinkerer.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_TENTACLE = "Aww, Walt's quite the lil' tinkerer.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_MIMIC = "Aww, Walt's quite the lil' tinkerer.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_BONE = "Aww, Walt's quite the lil' tinkerer.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_GEMS = "Aww, Walt's quite the lil' tinkerer.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK_0 = "Aww, Walt's quite the lil' tinkerer.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK = "Aww, Walt's quite the lil' tinkerer.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_STICKY = "Aww, Walt's quite the lil' tinkerer.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_JELLY = "Aww, Walt's quite the lil' tinkerer.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_SILK = "Aww, Walt's quite the lil' tinkerer.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_VOIDCLOTH = "Aww, Walt's quite the lil' tinkerer.", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "Atta girl, Wobes!", ELIXIR_CONTAINER = "Ain't no picnic for the livin' round here.", GHOSTFLOWERHAT = "Ghost flowers? Pretty.", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE = "Here lies... another crack at it.", },

--Wortox

WORTOX_NABBAG = "A lootin' he will go!", WORTOX_REVIVER = "Suppose he can just bring you right back if you croak.", WORTOX_SOULJAR = "Imagine gettin' your eternal soul stuffed into an imp's lunchbox. Yeesh.",

-- Wendy

GHOSTLYELIXIR_REVIVE = "I don't think that's safe to drink...", SISTURN = { LOTS_OF_FLOWERS_EVIL = "Those make my head spin.", LOTS_OF_FLOWERS_BLOSSOM = "Who is makin' that weird noise?", },

-- Walter

SLINGSHOTAMMO_STINGER = "Hmph. Handmade. The shape's all irregular.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "Hmph. Handmade. The shape's all irregular.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GELBLOB = "Hmph. Handmade. The shape's all irregular.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "Hmph. Handmade. The shape's all irregular.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_DREADSTONE = "Hmph. Handmade. The shape's all irregular.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "Hmph. Handmade. The shape's all irregular.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_LUNARPLANTHUSK = "Hmph. Handmade. The shape's all irregular.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "Hmph. Handmade. The shape's all irregular.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_HORRORFUEL = "Hmph. Handmade. The shape's all irregular.",

-- Winter's Feast 2024 ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_TOO_BIG = "It ain't gonna get any bigger.", ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_NO_SNOW = "Ain't no snow around.", --rifts 5 ANNOUNCE_WORTOX_REVIVER_FAILTELEPORT = "Nice try.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_BOOSTED = "That's pretty good.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_GHOSTVISION = "Sis? I can't see you here.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_PLAYER_SPEED = "I feel like a steam engine!", ANNOUNCE_EXLIIR_TOO_SUPER = "Yikes, that's way too strong.",

Warly:

SNOWMAN = { GENERIC = "A work of art!", SNOWBALL = "It needs... something.", }, SNOWBALL_ITEM = "Oh fun!", DECORATESNOWMAN = { INUSE = "Someone is working on it!", HASHAT = "But the hat!", STACKEDTOOHIGH = "It is stacked too high!", MELTING = "No more. It is melting.", }, -- Meta 5 GHOSTLYELIXIR_LUNAR = "I'm not sure about some of those ingredients, mademoiselle.", GHOSTLYELIXIR_SHADOW = "I'm not sure about some of those ingredients, mademoiselle.", SLINGSHOTMODKIT = "Young Walter is an artist with his slingshot.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_PIGSKIN = "Young Walter is an artist with his slingshot.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_TENTACLE = "Young Walter is an artist with his slingshot.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_MIMIC = "Young Walter is an artist with his slingshot.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_BONE = "Young Walter is an artist with his slingshot.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_GEMS = "Young Walter is an artist with his slingshot.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK_0 = "Young Walter is an artist with his slingshot.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK = "Young Walter is an artist with his slingshot.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_STICKY = "Young Walter is an artist with his slingshot.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_JELLY = "Young Walter is an artist with his slingshot.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_SILK = "Young Walter is an artist with his slingshot.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_VOIDCLOTH = "Young Walter is an artist with his slingshot.", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "She is a clever girl.", ELIXIR_CONTAINER = "Maman loved... loves picnics.", GHOSTFLOWERHAT = "I wonder. Do the dead taste?", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE = "C'est la vie.", },

--Wortox

WORTOX_NABBAG = "It is a naughty bag for sure!", WORTOX_REVIVER = "I could not serve this. There is fur on it!", WORTOX_SOULJAR = "Metaphysical snack jar.",

-- Wendy

GHOSTLYELIXIR_REVIVE = "I'm not sure about some of those ingredients, mademoiselle.",

-- Walter

SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "This looks like a key ingredient for a slingshot.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GELBLOB = "This looks like a key ingredient for a slingshot.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "This looks like a key ingredient for a slingshot.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_DREADSTONE = "This looks like a key ingredient for a slingshot.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "This looks like a key ingredient for a slingshot.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_LUNARPLANTHUSK = "This looks like a key ingredient for a slingshot.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "This looks like a key ingredient for a slingshot.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_HORRORFUEL = "This looks like a key ingredient for a slingshot.",

-- Winter's Feast 2024 ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_TOO_BIG = "I'm afraid it won't get any bigger.", ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_NO_SNOW = "There's not enough snow here!", --rifts 5 ANNOUNCE_WORTOX_REVIVER_FAILTELEPORT = "Wherever I go, here I am.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_BOOSTED = "It is no Maman's chicken soup.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_GHOSTVISION = "How terrible it must be when one no longer recognizes the world around them.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_PLAYER_SPEED = "I could lift a cow!", ANNOUNCE_EXLIIR_TOO_SUPER = "Trop fort!",

Wortox:

SNOWMAN = { GENERIC = "Whoa, man. Snowman!", SNOWBALL = "Of all the snowballs...", }, SNOWBALL_ITEM = "No greater delight than a snowball fight!", DECORATESNOWMAN = { INUSE = "Another soul is building it!", HASHAT = "Drat! That hat!", STACKEDTOOHIGH = "Sigh, too high.", MELTING = "I felt it melt.", }, -- Meta 5 GHOSTLYELIXIR_LUNAR = "Hyuyu! Someone's getting crafty!", GHOSTLYELIXIR_SHADOW = "Hyuyu! Someone's getting crafty!", SLINGSHOTMODKIT = "Hotshot! Is he not?", SLINGSHOT_BAND_PIGSKIN = "Hotshot! Is he not?", SLINGSHOT_BAND_TENTACLE = "Hotshot! Is he not?", SLINGSHOT_BAND_MIMIC = "Hotshot! Is he not?", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_BONE = "Hotshot! Is he not?", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_GEMS = "Hotshot! Is he not?", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK_0 = "Hotshot! Is he not?", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK = "Hotshot! Is he not?", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_STICKY = "Hotshot! Is he not?", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_JELLY = "Hotshot! Is he not?", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_SILK = "Hotshot! Is he not?", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_VOIDCLOTH = "Hotshot! Is he not?", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "A proud pup leveling up!", ELIXIR_CONTAINER = "Any mixers for those elixirs?", GHOSTFLOWERHAT = "Ghostly flowers yield strange powers.", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE = "A just-in-case vase!", },

--Wortox

WORTOX_NABBAG = "My clever clobbering collector! Hyuyu!", WORTOX_REVIVER = "To die is not always goodbye.", WORTOX_SOULJAR = "I'll need more souls to store.",

--wortox specfic ANNOUNCE_SOUL_EMPTY = (I believe the ones marked as neither nice nor naughty are old, but I'll include them here anyways.) { "Woe be to a soul-starved imp!", "I don't want to suck anymore souls!", "What gruesome things I must do to live!", }, ANNOUNCE_SOUL_EMPTY_NICE = { "I'm afraid I must feed soon.", "Curse my need to feed!", "It is tragic that they must die so that I may have life.", }, ANNOUNCE_SOUL_EMPTY_NAUGHTY = { "I am absolutely famished!", "I'm starved for some delicious souls!", "I yearn for those tasty treats!", }, ANNOUNCE_SOUL_FEW = { "I'll need more souls soon.", "I feel the soul hunger stirring.", }, ANNOUNCE_SOUL_FEW_NICE = { "Oh dear. Running low on souls, I fear.", "I have precious few souls left.", }, ANNOUNCE_SOUL_FEW_NAUGHTY = { "My collection is running low.", "I'll need a soul snack soon.", }, ANNOUNCE_SOUL_MANY = { "I've enough souls to sustain me.", "I hope I was not too greedy.", }, ANNOUNCE_SOUL_MANY_NICE = { "Oh my, I've taken so many!", "Such abundance. Many thanks!", }, ANNOUNCE_SOUL_MANY_NAUGHTY = { "When is enough enough? Never! Hyuyu!", "I love a feast of souls.", }, ANNOUNCE_SOUL_OVERLOAD = { "I can't handle that much soul power!", "That was one soul too many!", }, ANNOUNCE_SOUL_OVERLOAD_NICE = { "I was too greedy!", "Those poor souls have gone to waste!", }, ANNOUNCE_SOUL_OVERLOAD_NAUGHTY = { "My precious souls!", "Those were mine! All mine!", }, ANNOUNCE_SOUL_OVERLOAD_WARNING = { "The souls are going to burst my brim!", "The burden of souls is certain to pop!", }, ANNOUNCE_SOUL_OVERLOAD_AVOIDED = { "My brim is back from making a crack.", "I had to stop before I popped.", }, ANNOUNCE_PANFLUTE_BUFF_ACTIVE = { "I feel the call to toot my flute! Hyuyu!", "My flute's my muse, I can't refuse!", }, ANNOUNCE_PANFLUTE_BUFF_USED = { "What a hoot, to play my flute!", "A treat that feeds the soul! Hyuyu!", },

-- Wendy

GHOSTLYELIXIR_REVIVE = "Hyuyu! Someone's getting crafty!", SISTURN = { LOTS_OF_FLOWERS_EVIL = "Floral vanity at the cost of my sanity! Hyuyu!", LOTS_OF_FLOWERS_BLOSSOM = "No one around to make that sound.", },

-- Walter

SLINGSHOTAMMO_STINGER = "Oooh, how fun!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "Oooh, how fun!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GELBLOB = "Oooh, how fun!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "Oooh, how fun!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_DREADSTONE = "Oooh, how fun!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "Oooh, how fun!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_LUNARPLANTHUSK = "Oooh, how fun!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "Oooh, how fun!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_HORRORFUEL = "Oooh, how fun!",

-- Winter's Feast 2024 ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_TOO_BIG = "I tell no lies! It's at full size!", ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_NO_SNOW = "It won't grow without more snow.", --rifts 5 ANNOUNCE_WORTOX_REVIVER_FAILTELEPORT = "Oh dear, still here!", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_BOOSTED = "I feel like a new imp!", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_GHOSTVISION = "See like the dead, they said.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_PLAYER_SPEED = "I have the strength of ten imps!", ANNOUNCE_EXLIIR_TOO_SUPER = "Don't think I can take that drink!",

Wormwood:

SNOWMAN = { GENERIC = "Snow friend cold?", SNOWBALL = "Snow friend head?", }, SNOWBALL_ITEM = "Snowthrow!", DECORATESNOWMAN = { INUSE = "Friend doing it", HASHAT = "Hat there", STACKEDTOOHIGH = "Much tall", MELTING = "Can't. Melting", }, -- Meta 5 GHOSTLYELIXIR_LUNAR = "For ghost friend", GHOSTLYELIXIR_SHADOW = "For ghost friend", SLINGSHOTMODKIT = "Walter loves pew pew", SLINGSHOT_BAND_PIGSKIN = "Walter loves pew pew", SLINGSHOT_BAND_TENTACLE = "Walter loves pew pew", SLINGSHOT_BAND_MIMIC = "Walter loves pew pew", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_BONE = "Walter loves pew pew", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_GEMS = "Walter loves pew pew", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK_0 = "Walter loves pew pew", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK = "Walter loves pew pew", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_STICKY = "Walter loves pew pew", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_JELLY = "Walter loves pew pew", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_SILK = "Walter loves pew pew", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_VOIDCLOTH = "Walter loves pew pew", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "Smart woofer!", ELIXIR_CONTAINER = "Ghost friend's yummy juice", GHOSTFLOWERHAT = "Pretty ghost friends hat", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE = "Friends again bloom", },

--Wortox

WORTOX_NABBAG = "Stealy bag", WORTOX_REVIVER = "Soul friend heart", WORTOX_SOULJAR = "Soul friend party?",

-- Wendy

GHOSTLYELIXIR_REVIVE = "For ghost friend", SISTURN = { LOTS_OF_FLOWERS_EVIL = "Head feel yucky", LOTS_OF_FLOWERS_BLOSSOM = "Ghost friend?", },

-- Walter

SLINGSHOTAMMO_STINGER = "Pew pew stings", SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "Night Ball things?", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GELBLOB = "Pew pew things", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "Pew pew things", SLINGSHOTAMMO_DREADSTONE = "Pew pew things", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "Bang bang things", SLINGSHOTAMMO_LUNARPLANTHUSK = "Pew pew things", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "Pew pew things", SLINGSHOTAMMO_HORRORFUEL = "Pew pew things",

-- Winter's Feast 2024 ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_TOO_BIG = "Big no more", ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_NO_SNOW = "No snow", --rifts 5 ANNOUNCE_WORTOX_REVIVER_FAILTELEPORT = "Same here?", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_BOOSTED = "Feel good!", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_GHOSTVISION = "Oooh, ghost see", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_PLAYER_SPEED = "Plant power!", ANNOUNCE_EXLIIR_TOO_SUPER = "Too much strong",

Wurt:

SNOWMAN = { GENERIC = "Hey, Snowfolk.", SNOWBALL = "Snowfolk missing part.", }, SNOWBALL_ITEM = "Oh, Webby boy...", DECORATESNOWMAN = { INUSE = "Can't!", HASHAT = "Dumb hat!", STACKEDTOOHIGH = "So high already! Glurgh!", MELTING = "No more. Snowfolk is melting.", }, -- Meta 5 GHOSTLYELIXIR_LUNAR = "Ooooh! Me wanna make some too, florp!", GHOSTLYELIXIR_SHADOW = "Ooooh! Me wanna make some too, florp!", SLINGSHOTMODKIT = "Pine boy shooty toy. Florp!", SLINGSHOT_BAND_PIGSKIN = "Pine boy shooty toy. Florp!", SLINGSHOT_BAND_TENTACLE = "Pine boy shooty toy. Florp!", SLINGSHOT_BAND_MIMIC = "Pine boy shooty toy. Florp!", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_BONE = "Pine boy shooty toy. Florp!", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_GEMS = "Pine boy toys. Florp!", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK_0 = "Pine boy toys. Florp!", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK = "Pine boy shooty toy. Florp!", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_STICKY = "Pine boy shooty toy. Florp!", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_JELLY = "Pine boy toys. Florp!", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_SILK = "Pine boy shooty toy. Florp!", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_VOIDCLOTH = "Pine boy shooty toy. Florp!", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "Pine boy teach doggie.", ELIXIR_CONTAINER = "Abby-gill won't share treats. Glurgh.", GHOSTFLOWERHAT = "Now can share Abby-gill treats!", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE = "Dead, not dead! Glorp!", },

--Wortox

WORTOX_NABBAG = "Looks fun, florpt!", WORTOX_REVIVER = "Imp made it", WORTOX_SOULJAR = "Imp food?",

-- Wendy

GHOSTLYELIXIR_REVIVE = "Ooooh! Me wanna make some too, florp!", SISTURN = { LOTS_OF_FLOWERS_EVIL = "Glurgh... my brain breaking.", LOTS_OF_FLOWERS_BLOSSOM = "Huh? Who that?", },

-- Walter

SLINGSHOTAMMO_STINGER = "Bits of stuff.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "Bits of stuff", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GELBLOB = "Bits of stuff.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "Bits of stuff.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_DREADSTONE = "Bits of stuff.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "Bits of stuff.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_LUNARPLANTHUSK = "Bits of stuff.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "Bits of stuff.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_HORRORFUEL = "Bits of stuff.",

-- Winter's Feast 2024 ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_TOO_BIG = "Won't go bigger.", ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_NO_SNOW = "No snow. Glurph.", --rifts 5 ANNOUNCE_WORTOX_REVIVER_FAILTELEPORT = "Glurph! Work!", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_BOOSTED = "Florp! Nice.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_GHOSTVISION = "See like Deadfolk, florp!", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_PLAYER_SPEED = "Mermfolk strong!", ANNOUNCE_EXLIIR_TOO_SUPER = "Glurph! Too strong.",

Walter:

SNOWMAN = { GENERIC = "Ice to meet ya!", SNOWBALL = "I've seen you a round! Hehe.", }, SNOWBALL_ITEM = "Hehe.", DECORATESNOWMAN = { INUSE = "That one's taken, Woby.", HASHAT = "Hey, there's a hat in the way!", STACKEDTOOHIGH = "I can't build it taller than that, Woby!", MELTING = "Oh no, it's melting! We can't decorate it anymore, Woby.", }, -- Meta 5 GHOSTLYELIXIR_LUNAR = "Ghosts can drink potions? Uh, of course I knew that!", GHOSTLYELIXIR_SHADOW = "Ghosts can drink potions? Uh, of course I knew that!", SLINGSHOTMODKIT = "Time to mod my trusty slingshot?", SLINGSHOT_BAND_PIGSKIN = "Mmm. Smells like bacon.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_TENTACLE = "I think it twitched.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_MIMIC = "Creepy!", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_BONE = "Bad to the bone! Hehe.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_GEMS = "Fancy.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK_0 = "There's a real kick to it!", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK = "I could slingshot forever.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_STICKY = "It's gross but effective!", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_JELLY = "Super sticky.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_SILK = "It's good tape.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_VOIDCLOTH = "Oh yeah. Here we go.", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "You're the smartest dog ever, Woby!", ELIXIR_CONTAINER = "Contents not safe for human consumption!", GHOSTFLOWERHAT = "I guess it's kinda haunted.", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE = "Hope I never have to use it, Woby!", },

--Wortox

WORTOX_NABBAG = "That looks fun to use.", WORTOX_REVIVER = "Safety first still, right Woby?", WORTOX_SOULJAR = "For a soul collection!",

-- Wendy

GHOSTLYELIXIR_REVIVE = "Ghosts can drink potions? Uh, of course I knew that!", SISTURN = { LOTS_OF_FLOWERS_EVIL = "They make me feel weird.", LOTS_OF_FLOWERS_BLOSSOM = "Do you hear that, Woby?", },

-- Walter

SLINGSHOTAMMO_STINGER = "Better be careful with these.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "Now I can hit'em with the moon!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GELBLOB = "Icky. I like it.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "They're in for a shock!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_DREADSTONE = "These will pack a real punch.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "Woby, we're going out with a BANG!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_LUNARPLANTHUSK = "Prickly-wickly.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "Yes, Woby. We are brilliant!", SLINGSHOTAMMO_HORRORFUEL = "Spooktacular! Hehe.",

CUSTOMIZE_WOBY_BADGES = { GENERIC = "Hmm. I wonder why it's not working?", BURNING = "It's too on fire to use.", INUSE = "Someone's using it now.", },

--walter specfic (I think the first 2-3 of these could be old? but I'm unsure) ANNOUNCE_AMMO_SLOT_OVERSTACKED = "There's too much ammo to swap out now.", ANNOUNCE_SLINGHSOT_OUT_OF_AMMO = { "Uh oh... I'm all out of ammo.", "Uh... just kidding!", }, ANNOUNCE_SLINGHSOT_NO_AMMO_SKILL = "This ammo is tricky.", ANNOUNCE_SLINGHSOT_NO_PARTS_SKILL = "Huh. How does this part work?",

-- Winter's Feast 2024 ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_TOO_BIG = "It won't get any bigger!", ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_NO_SNOW = "We've run out of snow, Woby!", --rifts 5 ANNOUNCE_WORTOX_REVIVER_FAILTELEPORT = "Aww man!", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_BOOSTED = "Refreshing!", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_GHOSTVISION = "It's the best of both worlds!", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_PLAYER_SPEED = "I bet I could carry you, Woby!", ANNOUNCE_EXLIIR_TOO_SUPER = "I don't think my tummy can handle that.",

Wanda:

SNOWMAN = { GENERIC = "Child's play. Not bad, though.", SNOWBALL = "Must admit I have a few ideas for this one.", }, SNOWBALL_ITEM = "There's always time for a snowball fight.", DECORATESNOWMAN = { INUSE = "Someone's decorating it.", HASHAT = "I can't. Someone left a hat there.", STACKEDTOOHIGH = "Nope. It's plenty tall.", MELTING = "Its time has run out.", }, -- Meta 5 GHOSTLYELIXIR_LUNAR = "A little bit of metaphysical meddling never hurt anyone.", GHOSTLYELIXIR_SHADOW = "A little bit of metaphysical meddling never hurt anyone.", SLINGSHOTMODKIT = "Rather innovative for a child.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_PIGSKIN = "Rather innovative for a child.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_TENTACLE = "Rather innovative for a child.", SLINGSHOT_BAND_MIMIC = "Rather innovative for a child.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_BONE = "Rather innovative for a child.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_GEMS = "Rather innovative for a child.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK_0 = "Rather innovative for a child.", SLINGSHOT_FRAME_WAGPUNK = "Rather innovative for a child.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_STICKY = "Rather innovative for a child.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_JELLY = "Rather innovative for a child.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_SILK = "Rather innovative for a child.", SLINGSHOT_HANDLE_VOIDCLOTH = "Rather innovative for a child.", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "She's a fast learner.", ELIXIR_CONTAINER = "Pretty, practical.", GHOSTFLOWERHAT = "Who has time to pick flowers?", WENDY_RESURRECTIONGRAVE = "How many times have I done this?", },

--Wortox

WORTOX_NABBAG = "Multipurpose? Good.", WORTOX_REVIVER = "It's more efficient to just avoid dying.", WORTOX_SOULJAR = "At least they're not lost souls.",

-- Wendy

GHOSTLYELIXIR_REVIVE = "A little bit of metaphysical meddling never hurt anyone.",

-- Walter

SLINGSHOTAMMO_STINGER = "These obviously weren't made with precision in mind.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "These obviously weren't made with precision in mind.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GELBLOB = "These obviously weren't made with precision in mind.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "These obviously weren't made with precision in mind.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_DREADSTONE = "These obviously weren't made with precision in mind.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "These obviously weren't made with precision in mind.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_LUNARPLANTHUSK = "These obviously weren't made with precision in mind.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "These obviously weren't made with precision in mind.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_HORRORFUEL = "These obviously weren't made with precision in mind.",

-- Winter's Feast 2024 ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_TOO_BIG = "Let's not waste time. It's as big as it'll get.", ANNOUNCE_SNOWBALL_NO_SNOW = "There's no snow.", --rifts 5 ANNOUNCE_WORTOX_REVIVER_FAILTELEPORT = "Botheration!", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_BOOSTED = "Like a good cup of tea.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_GHOSTVISION = "Let's get on with it.", ANNOUNCE_ELIXIR_PLAYER_SPEED = "Strength is efficiency!", ANNOUNCE_EXLIIR_TOO_SUPER = "Ooph. That is far too strong.",

Wonkey:

(And that's all of the character quotes. Now for a few scrapbook entries.)

-- WintersFeast2024 SNOWMAN = "Roll'em! Stack'em! Decorate them with a variety of items!", -- Meta 5 GRAVEGUARD_GHOST = "Where they may appear, Evil Flowers tend to grow near.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_GUNPOWDER = "It has an increasing chance to trigger a explosion, doing doubled damage in a large area.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_MOONGLASS = "It does damage in a medium area around its target.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_PUREBRILLIANCE = "It applies a Pure Brilliance mark to creatures it hits, lasting 8 seconds. This mark can be triggered by planar attacks for an additional 5 planar damage.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_SCRAPFEATHER = "It does electrical damage, which does more damage to wet targets.", SLINGSHOTAMMO_STINGER = "It does damage in a small area around its target.", WOBY_BADGE_STATION = "Allows you to select for which Woby badges you would like to train and get benefits from.", },

(The other items are todo.)

[hylianassassin]

A Hot Take on Gerudo Survival Skills

I'm not going to rant and rave about the majority of the discord surrounding Tears of the Kingdom when it comes to Ganondorf vs Hyrule. There are more than enough posts circulating about that out there by plenty of good and intelligent folks, and I've already offered my thoughts on it. I encourage folks to go check those out.

What I'm tired of seeing is the argument that the Gerudo have little to nothing to survive on in the desert. This is one of the most badass and longest enduring tribes in all of Zelda and yet for some odd reason folks seem to insist that they're somehow unable to exploit the incredible amount of resources available to them. I've played desert survival challenges in BotW where I exist solely within the Gerudo area for extended periods of time, and if you know what you're doing its actually quite easy.

Anyone who has spent ample time around the Gerudo region in either of these games knows just how incredibly abundant food is in the Gerudo Highlands. There is a ton of large game up there that is easy to bring down with a single headshot from a Gerudo bow. Gerudo bows are sniper bows and are far from useless. Are we going to argue that these very strong and powerful ladies can't do something as simple as draw one of the bows of their own making, or know how to track prey through the snow? One might argue that we never see a Gerudo in the Highlands or in possession of clothing warm enough to survive up there, but I would counter with the fact that the ice house exists and it's clearly stated that the ice is harvested and brought down from the Highlands. This argument is invalid.

Additionally, the desert itself is abound in fruits and poultry ripe for the harvesting. And obviously it's done to such efficiency that there is an ample enough supply to make a profit in selling these items at market, to both Gerudo and Hylians alike. There is obviously enough surplus of hydro melons that there is a Gerudo NPC that devours them to such excess as to clog up one of the fountains in Gerudo Town.

And while we're on the topic, the Gerudo clearly have an ample enough water supply that they can run fountains constantly, all through their town. So clearly they're not struggling there.

Additionally still, Moldugas exist and are shockingly common. Yes, they're big, powerful and dangerous, but if one little twink with enough bomb arrows can kill one then are you going to tell me that this tribe of intelligent, hearty, and highly trained women cannot organize a Molduga hunt with relative ease?

Various Native American groups were able to thrive on only one or two bison hunts a year. It was dangerous, extremely, but they had it down to a science. You're going to tell me that the Gerudo are incapable of such coordination? Honestly it could even explain and deepen their connection to the sand seals. These lovely creatures can carry a few skilled huntresses through a Molduga's territory to flush it out, and with more than one target the Molduga wouldn't know which one to chase. Throw in archers who are on the rocks or ruins and a Molduga dinner is practically guaranteed. And let's not forget that with typical Moldugas, three blasts from Urbosa's fury is more than enough to bring it down. Given that Riju also possesses lightning magic, and the fact that there is a sage in Rauru's time who also controls lightning, I think we can safely assume that the ability is common enough that it can be relied upon. It wouldn't take anything for the chief to organize a Molduga hunt and ride proudly out there with her sisters to feed the tribe for a good while.

So yes, I'm not saying there aren't issues with Totk's plot or its handling of Ganondorf, but I'm tired of seeing people parrot this idea that the Gerudo are struggling to survive when they're more than capable of doing so. They were doing it long before Ganondorf, and they've done it long after him too. So please, stop using this reasoning to justify Ganondorf outright murdering someone in cold blood just to obtain their Zonai stone. It just doesn't work.

And as a side note, there is clearly a demarcation within the tribe at the time of Totk Ganondorf's reign due to how the Gerudo sage reacts to hearing that he's overcome the last free (yes that's the word they use) Gerudo villages. From what is shown, Ganondorf and his followers are an extremist terrorist group within the tribe.

Again, I'm not saying that there aren't problems with his motivations (and I really hate the greenish skin tone), but he is clearly not doing what he does for the benefit of his tribe. He might think he is, but he isn't. And there are much better arguments that could be made than just, oh the Gerudo are struggling to survive and Hyrule is full and fertile and blah blah blah. And it isn't like Rauru is trying to withhold Hyrule's bounty or otherwise fuck over the Gerudo. It's even stated that he's sent multiple invitations to them to join up with the Hyrulean tribes and share the bounty.

I'm going to repeat myself yet again: stop treating the Gerudo as incompetent and use basic survival and lack of resources to justify what Ganondorf does. It doesn't work.

Side side note: Urbosa's amiibo drops primarily meat. Interpret that as you will. And Ganondorf's legendary cursed grin when he commits said murder? That is not the smile of a sane man.

[mercysought]

❝ All those faces and all those names, all that laughter and screaming and scheming around... Every corner and every street... Recorded in you. Forever. ❞ for asharen

DISCO ELYSIUM // selectively accepting . @hoboblaidd

   "In me? Hardly."

She replies with a slight arch to her brow, glancing up to Solas with a small smile. At least not solely in her. It was odd, yes, she was sure she would carry these memories with her wherever she went, whatever happened, but memory was fickle. There were his murals, for one, and she was sure that Varric was taking notes for another book. Truthfully, she hadn't told him and she hadn't asked Varric, but from the brief work she realised that she might not need to say anything:

The murals didn't represent her, they represented the Inquisition. And Varric hadn't asked any questions that would likely lend to a book research. If Asharen was correct in her guess, then it meant that she would not take center picture in many of those things. It gave her an odd sense of peace, to know that she would not be the figure that people would point towards as the single solution for the work they were doing. True, she was the one with the Anchor, but she would not have been able to do any of this without this massive... amount of work and effort around her. It was not lost on her how wonderful that was, even if it had started as something so terribly scary she felt she might simply allow herself to sink into the snow in Haven.

She wouldn't have been allowed, of course, and she wouldn't truly entertained that thought beside it being a passing thought. Still.

   "This is far greater than me. Than any one person, really." she pauses, nodding "Don't get me wrong, I might be the one that had the luck" an odd term; she realises. Her brow arches and she tilts her head with a half smile as if wondering if she could have used a different word and yet proceeding "of having the anchor, but..."

Looing down at the crowd and the few merchant stands that had taken shop in the courtyard of Skyhold. It still was dizzying to think that so many were now coming to Skyhold, to join them in helping in whatever capacity they could. Just at a brief glance she could see elves, dalish or otherwise talking in the middle of the snow, dwarves and humans and Qunari and sometimes it was so overwhelming she could only think of them as a cloth with so many dazzling colours that it all became a blur.

She loved it, it was beautiful, but overwhelming all the same "it's impossible for a single person to do all of this, not without help."

Asharen smiles to Solas warmly.

   "They give me a lot of hope." and that was something that she never really thought she needed. Not to this extent. To this level of living. That it could be something that added such a powerful drive and made the world shine so much brighter. She had been content to live and do her work in Antiva City, she would have been happy to just keep selling hats. To watch how people danced and sang and dressed and perhaps she too would have one day joined them.

The thought made her shiver now, that she might have missed all of this "I never thought..."

That the world was so large, that they could work all so well together. That such a thing was possible. The thought lingers and disappears into the air as her eyes fall on the moving crowd below, someone started playing a guitar and someone else was complaining while another person started to sing atop the melody in Orlesian. The complaining grew louder and Asharen could not stop herself from smiling.

Truthfully, a thought that she didn't air, was that she could hardly wait until she was no longer needed. To the time where she could lay the Inquisitor title in the ground, give it a proper goodbye and thank it for all that it had done for her. But to leave it behind. Once all of it was done - and her light eyes lift to the large wound in the sky, glaring back at her - there was so much she wanted to do.

   "But I guess you are right, in a way," she catches herself, returning to the initial thought. Her eyes return to Solas "I'll always carry them with me, in some ways. And that's... overwhelming, yes, but warm" right, is another word that comes to mind "in a way I cannot explain."

[dark9896]

Coat tales and Frocks [Klaus x Reader]

Requested by Anonymous 📚

Every breath hurt you physically, the gash in your side wasn't very deep... yet. But you couldn't let your guard down. The wolves might have retreated, but the beast you caught a glimpse of was much larger than any wolf.

Snow crunched beneath your boots, heavy spear clutched tight as you leaned against a medium-sized tree. This could not be your last hunting trip, you refused to be bested like this. Doing your utmost to set a trap for the creature, even as your mind raced along with its swift footfalls. The snow hardly crunched, despite its massive size.

Your attempt to swipe with your spear proved futile. The wood splintered in the beast's massive paw. It towered over you, fangs glinting in the late afternoon sun. But your feet slipped from under you, an unspotted drop-off in the woods having become your true downfall.

.

Klaus was nervously pacing around outside the room where he'd placed the visitor. They seemed to be gravely injured and frightened, it was only natural. Massive paws wrung themselves over and over again, his worry only building as the moments ticked by and a trail of short fur left in his wake.

He was fully aware of how monstrous he looked, how you must've seen him whilst your senses were on survival. But Klaus couldn't very well leave an injured person out in the snow. Even if they were a hunter who tried taking swings at him.

It was Steven who tried to calm the large beast-man first, Gilbert was the one busy tending the wound after all. Though how effective it was to have a suit of armor comforting one was debatable. Soft clanks followed the near-silent footfalls of the massive beast-man.

"You've done everything you could for them." A hollow voice doing its best to be soft created a weird echo, "Why you felt the need to bring them here however, I'll never know. They attacked you after all."

Klaus frowned a tiny bit, "They were already grievously injured from the wolves Steven. I couldn't leave them out in the snow in such a state."

"They very nearly spilled your blood in the process."

Ignoring the bandage over his own paw, the tiniest pinpricks of blood from wooden splinters were hardly comparable to a deep cut. At least, Klaus thought it was a deep cut, he couldn't look at the wound for too long with how blood was dripping down your side.

Peeking in to see you passed out as Gilbert hobbled out of the guest room, Klaus barely relaxed. At the very least you seemed to be peacefully asleep, but how long would that last?

"They are perfectly fine Master Klaus." The voice of a coat rack was not a very loud one to be sure, "Their wound was not nearly as deep as it first appeared, only seeming that way due to the heavy amount of fabrics they were wearing for insulation."

Finally able to relax, Klaus couldn't stop shaking. He didn't know what to do at this point. You would most definitely have questions, but how was he to answer? How would you respond to seeing such a monster as him walking around a castle like this?

Would you even believe his story?

.

The pain in your side was only matched by the throbbing headache as you sat up. Scanning the room you were in only showed an exquisite bedroom, light blues accented with pearly white lining and soft metallic swirls in silver and gold. Either you were dead, or someone had rescued you.

Given the pain you were in, you could only assume you were in a safe place.

Yet the first thing you noticed as you eased from under the covers was your lack of clothing. Only a light nightshirt and what had to be cotton shorts covered your body, which meant someone had to have taken your gear. Where to you couldn't be sure, it wasn't in the room with you though.

A few wobbly steps were all you could manage before a loud clang outside the door made you jump. A feminine voice with a very odd hollow wood sound confused you. Could a human actually make that kind of noise? And what did they mean by stop pushing the teapot? Wouldn't... wouldn't they be carrying it?

Apparently not as a large wooden cart wheeled itself into the room, sporting a small tea tray and...

Why did the cart have a face?

Rubbing your eyes, clearly still dreaming or hallucinating, you peered at the cart hoping beyond hope that the bright blue eyes staring back at you would disappear.

"What do you want, huh?" It barked in a rather 'fight me' tone of voice, "Never seen someone with- OW! What the f&*k was that for!?"

"Hush Zapp." The wooden dish holder had used one of its... her... legs to smack the cart itself, "Poor dear probably doesn't know much about magic at all. And certainly wouldn't be able to tell you were ever a human."

"Hey!" Was... was the cart's name Zapp? "I'll have you know I'm the epitome of a human. And this big shot hunter couldn't do jack!"

"They injured Klaus better than you ever could." Why... why didn't that fork open its eyes? Clearly, it was part of this... magic, "Meanwhile all you can do is run over toes, and that's still more than what you used to do as a human."

You felt the need to raise your hand, if only to get their attention.

"Uh, what's going on? Who... Who are all of you?"

The dish holder seemed to brighten up, though she only had one eye from what you could tell, "Well, I'm K.K. I was one of the advisors of the court. Zapp here was only a guard in training and this little bugger is Leo. He was a squire, until... well he currently serves the cook but that's only because of the curse put on the castle."

K.K. seemed capable of going on for hours. And she did, to your detriment as you couldn't understand half of what she said. She spoke too fast and your head was still throbbing, only marginally helped by the tea and sandwiches the three of them brought in. What little you could understand was that there were no humans here, only sentient objects and this 'Klaus' person.

You wondered vaguely if Klaus was the creature from the woods. But then... why would he bring you here? You did attack first, even if it was in fear and adrenaline.

But you couldn't do much about it now. Despite having woken up, and being attended by chatty helpers, it was still very late at night. All the pain you still suffered from wasn't going to let you wander around the castle... who knows how fast you'd get lost.

Though you didn't register any movement from beyond the door, Klaus had been listening in. Not trying to eavesdrop entirely, more so concerned for your health. And delighted to hear K.K.'s explanation of how much you were already capable of moving around on your own.

Not that Klaus would try to stop you from doing anything, he was just relieved that your injuries weren't that serious.

.

Armed with the most basic knowledge, and a fresh set of clothes, you finally ventured outside the room. You felt much better compared to last night and while the clothes did fit... they really weren't your style. But you were in no position to complain, you were a guest after all.

Eyes scanning every nook and cranny of the castle, looking for the objects with faces. Knowing that the ones without faces couldn't even move and secretly trying to catch a glimpse of some other humanoid form in the castle. You were blindsided by a small, white monkey looking creature smacking you in the face with its tiny paws.

Raising an eyebrow at the tiny thing, you closed your eyes at the waving of paper so close to your face. But the scribbles on the scrap of paper seemed to be a map of sorts. And kind of an invite? Showing you where the dining room was and asking you to arrive post-haste.

The small monkey stayed perched on your shoulder as you walked, pointing you in the correct direction whenever you stopped to check the little hand-drawn map. Though it didn't take too long for you to find the dining room at all. Glancing all around for some trance of this Klaus person, or really anyone at all. You'd settle for the rude cart with a face at this point because this castle felt empty.

"Ah, my apologies."

You turned to see a hulking, almost blood-red beast stoop into the room using a door opposite you, almost directly across the table from where you were standing. Even squinting, you couldn't be sure if this was the same beast from the other day. There was something... off about how he looked now versus how he looked then.

Or maybe it was just the blood you lost that day. Who knows?

"Please, allow me to introduce myself." He half bowed, swishing an equally large tail, "I'm Klaus von Reinherz. A once high-ranking nobleman and owner of this castle. I understand that Madam K.K., Leonardo, and Zapp have already made your acquaintance."

The small monkey on your shoulder squeaked at the large beast-man.

"Ah yes, and Sonic as well." He was keeping a straight face this whole time, it was a little creepy. Even if he did have fangs as long as your forearm, you thought he'd attempt a smile, "My apologies Sonic."

"Uh, so... Were you the one who I swung at in the woods?" You hesitated to move forward, or move at all as every fiber of your being screamed at you to run, "Because you both do and don't seem familiar."

"Yes I am." He stepped forward, going right past several chairs and straight for you, "Though I do not hold you accountable for the incident. I wholly understand the complexity of the situation."

Every step he took only made you want to run more, but he stopped at a chair right beside the edge of the table. As if he could sense how you were feeling, in spite of how perfectly still you were standing.

"Well, that and you were worryingly injured. I mistook the wound for a deep one. Though I am relieved that it wasn't so." Reaching for you with one massive paw, "Might I know with whom I am speaking?"

You tried with all your might not to look like a scared rabbit as you glanced at the paw being held out to you. What was it that he wanted? Other than your name... Were you supposed to follow him? Give him your hand? Was he just being friendly?

His paw wasn't stretched out to shake your hand, not when his palm was turned completely up. Gathering what little sense you had...

"I'm [Name]. From the village just north of here." Maybe you didn't sound too frightened, but then again, "I don't mean to be a burden. I promise I'll take off as soon as I'm able."

Were you imagining things or did he look defeated when you said that?

"Ah, yes. Of course. No rush, naturally." His paw retreated, "Please, don't try to force your recovery. You're free to stay here as long as you'd like."

There was something... lonely about Klaus. You weren't sure about staying, or even about leaving. But it felt as if he wanted you to stay, perhaps as a companion. Though he likely wouldn't actually say it out loud. Even with the people who were here with him, they were all below him in rank. You were too, just not under a curse.

But upon realizing that, your whole body relaxed. You still had more questions than answers, but for now you weren't afraid of the monstrous man in front of you. Just a little concerned about the weather outside.

.

Weeks flew by, your injury healed in no time it seemed. And the other people here were all staff to Klaus. Though you were told how Klaus was initially cursed.

"A few years ago a fairy entered the castle on Master Klaus's birthday." Gilbert shook out the laundry little by little as he spoke, "It wasn't uncommon for fae of all sort to attend such events after all. Though she didn't have a gift Master Klaus wanted."

You watched the tall coat rack doing laundry. It was mesmerizing to see, if a little janky compared to how others moved around.

"She offered Master Klaus her hand in marriage. Which he refused in the kindest way possible. Attempting to explain that he couldn't marry a woman, not even a fae woman that he didn't truly love." Gilbert couldn't bend over to grab the basket, or the little bit of clothes still left inside. So you reached over to help, "Ah thank you. Yes, where was I?"

"Hm, and of course the fairy didn't like that answer in the slightest. She cursed Master Klaus and his house. Thusly turning myself and the rest of the staff into furniture, and Master Klaus into a large beast so that until he finds someone who can truly love him as he is, we are all stuck like this."

You ruminated on that for a while. Was it possible that Klaus was getting his hopes up? That he was trying to fall in love with you? There wasn't much you two had in common after all, not with you being from a poor village that sent hunters and warriors off to spare them living such a barren town.

And especially with you having taken a swing at Klaus, it didn't seem fair to be the one he would try to fall for.

Or maybe he was just plain lonely and wanted a little company. This was a large castle, sure it was nice but it was so empty. The books in the library had likely been read all the way through at least once. Leaving only the gardening and baking that Klaus often left to do. He never once forced his company onto you either. He would offer, ask if you'd join him for things, but never outright say you had to do anything with him.

.

It was still snowing like crazy. You'd never seen a blizzard this bad before, not this late into spring anyways. Klaus hesitated to approach you, he knew that look. The way you were staring out the window was all too telling. You were getting bored of this place, bored of him...

Klaus shook his head. The two of you hardly really talked. There were so few topics the two of you could properly discuss given the distance between your lives and upbringings. Of course you'd want to leave, you felt like you didn't belong here.

But Klaus couldn't just stand by and watch you be bored. Gathering what courage he could, he walked up behind you.

"Ah, pardon me, [Name]?" One tentative claw tapped your shoulder, "Would you be interested in joining me for tea?"

You barely even jumped at the sight of a claw over your shoulder, knowing it was just Klaus.

"Sure, why not."

Klaus held up both paws in surrender, "You don't have to, I assure you it- I..."

"I don't mean to sound so blaize about it." You looked up into his bright green eyes, "I just..."

Klaus followed your gesture out the window. His heart sank a little, knowing what you meant and what clear skies would mean in the long run.

"Do... do you miss home?"

You blinked for a few seconds, trying to really think about why you wanted to leave. Technically you had everything you needed right here. But it just didn't feel right to stay with Klaus like this, not when you felt like a burden rather than a guest.

"I-- I don't mean to pry! I just--"

"It's not that I miss home, I just..." You sighed, looking at the floor, "We both know I don't really belong here. That I'm only here because you're a good person. And I just don't feel right taking advantage of that."

You paused, "What I mean is. It really does feel like I'm taking advantage of you."

Instinct took over as Klaus's paws enveloped your hands, drawing them half way up his chest.

"[Name], of course you aren't!" He subconsciously took a step forward, "I truly don't mind your staying here. I enjoy your company, honest! I know we don't have much to talk about but you are more than welcome to stay here as long as you'd like. Maybe even come back for a visit if the weather permits."

Klaus kept rambling about how you weren't a burden, but your mind wandered. If you ever did leave, would you come back? Sure, Klaus was nice but did you really want to come back? Everything was so confusing to you. And you definitely didn't belong in this world of finery and fancy things.

But his paws were very soft and warm, he was very nice and you were comfortable in his presence. It would be a nice to visit... if it wasn't for the fact that he was a royal. That was the only thing that you had any kind of problem with. How very different your worlds were from one another.

"Klaus."

He fell silent instantly, worried he'd said too much. But really you had zoned out...

"I've gotta ask. Why are you so insistent about me coming back?" You tilted your head up at him, "You're right. We haven't talked much at all, we don't share the same interests, we don't even come from the same background. As far as I can tell we don't have anything in common, not even what we want out of life. So why ask me to return if there wouldn't be any real point?"

Klaus's mouth felt dry. Should he be honest? Would the truth be selfish of him? After all, you were correct about most of that. Though Klaus felt one truly deep conversation would clear up most of the uncertainty surrounding you staying here to begin with.

He didn't want you to leave at all...

"I have not thought that far ahead." He shuffled sheepishly, finally letting go of your hands, "I only know that I enjoy your company and would like to know that you would come back for a visit some time."

"And if I said I couldn't? If I would rather travel the world and find something else to do with my life?"

Klaus's eyes widened, but not out of fear, "You... if that's truly what you wanted. I wouldn't attempt to stop you. I could never do such a thing. But... I..."

Scratching the back of his head with one massive paw, Klaus struggled to just say what he wanted. How nice that idea sounded. Even if he was stuck in this beastly form, to travel the world and see sights beyond this castle would be phenomenal. At least to him...

"You would probably get on with the life you were meant to have." You sighed, "Parties and nobles and sparkly things."

Klaus opened his mouth to explain, but you unintentionally cut him off.

"I would just get in the way of all that."

"No you wouldn't." He hesitated to reach out for you again, "I meant that I wouldn't be able to stop you from travelling. In all honesty, going and seeing the world sounds like a glorious adventure. One I would very much like to go on myself."

Klaus couldn't handle looking into your eyes, "Though I wouldn't want to press my company upon you. As much as I would like to travel, I doubt I would be the best for a world as harsh as the elements."

As much as you wanted to tell Klaus he was welcome to come with, you weren't so sure about that yourself. It wasn't a matter of skills or anything, but this was the first thing either of you could agree on. And it was just a dumb example of why you might not return to the castle for a visit, you weren't entirely sure you would travel at all.

But Klaus seemed certain.

.

The weather outside finally calmed down enough to wander the castle grounds, though the light snowfall was still a little odd for Spring. But stretching your legs outside felt so much better, especially once you allowed yourself to talk to your host.

Spending most meals and the occasional tea break just chatting about everything you could think of proved to be more enjoyable than the awkward silences you'd been forcing. Realizing Klaus wasn't at all like any other noble you'd been in the company of.

And not just because the poor man was lonely.

He was a little less inclined to show his emotions, like most other nobility, but he was also much more self-conscious and self-aware than his peers. Striving to actually be kind to his staff, to the people he was supposed to rule over.

It was quite the shock to learn that your village was part of his territory. Just as Klaus was shocked to hear the land had passed onto a different noble not remotely related to his family.

The way you acted around him was far more justified with the horror stories you recounted about other nobles being downright cruel.

Though you still weren't sure about why you were still here. Yes the weather had you otherwise trapped, due to the snow beyond the gates being far too thick to pry the doors open; but you also weren't too sure about the whole 'breaking the curse' thing.

Were you really the right person for the job? Was this fair to Klaus? He barely knew anyone and you just happened to be the first person he's met in a long while. Was that really enough?

.

Klaus was having problems containing the smile on his face. Running around the courtyard like that had been invigorating, downright exhilarating. Though he was still a gentleman, helping you shake off your heavy coat and steadying you as you tugged off snow boots.

This didn't quite feel like love, not in the romantic sense. Even as he sat next to you on the floor, just in front of the fireplace with blankets and cocoa. It felt more like he finally had a friend with whom he could share everything.

It made for an odd feeling given how he initially thought you'd be the one to break the curse. How he wanted you to be the one to do so. And yet, here he was perfectly content to relax the days away, with someone he truly cared about.

"I don't think I've ever seen snow this late into March." You sighed into the steaming mug, "What about you?"

Klaus shook his head solemnly, "I've never paid much attention to the weather before now. Though now that you mention it... this does seem strange."

The silence stretched, the only noise being the cackle of firewood. Klaus was slightly worried however, you usually only brought up the weather when you wanted to talk about leaving. While he was a bit more comfortable with the topic, it saddened Klaus to think about the lonely silence you'd leave behind.

But perhaps the two of you could leave together...

"Do you think you could teach me some things?"

Klaus nearly choked on his cocoa in trying to answer.

"Of- of course [Name]!" He straightened up subconsciously, "Just name what you'd like to learn. I swear to do my best."

.

Klaus would eat those words; sooner rather than later. Here he was, thinking he had gotten over his shotgun crush and trembling while teaching you to waltz around. Though you had long since forgotten about breaking the curse, you were just curious about how nobles danced.

It was much easier than you were lead to believe. At least the waltzing was, once Klaus started adding extra steps things got a little more complicated. And the music emanating from an old gramophone wasn't helping much. You weren't familiar with slow violins, much less the rest of the stringed instruments.

Yet it was fun, if a little awkward. Everything about the situation flew right over your head. With how relaxed you were with Klaus now, it didn't register as romantic in the slightest. Especially not when you started trying to teach Klaus how you used to dance in your village.

You were more worried that Klaus would lose his balance with how much he was shaking. And it didn't take long for Klaus to stumble over the quick movements... and his tail.

"Are you okay!?"

Tugging on his arm despite the size difference did nothing. Klaus still deeply appreciated the gesture, though he rose slowly.

"Yes, I'm quite alright." Klaus swished his tail sheepishly, "It was merely my tail getting in the way. You would think I'd be used to it by now. Though I must admit that I've never tried dancing this way, nor did I expect the foot movements to be so rapid."

You rubbed the back of your neck, "Yeah, it was kinda fast. But that's just how I learned it. We didn't have classes, just go do it and you'll get the hang of it eventually."

"Seems quite..." Klaus paused, unsure how to phrase it.

"Backwards?" You offered, "You'd think that for a festival they would give us a little instruction. But no, apparently the Duke likes watching people be confused."

Shaking his head slowly, "Shame, he truly sounds like a horrid man. Though I have a sinking feeling that if I returned he would become a completely different person."

"Sadly. But oh well."

Klaus watched as you stretched, still unable to separate his feelings for you and how complex the situation had become. He wasn't merely crushing on a stranger any more, he truly thought of you as a friend. How was he supposed to tell a friend he had fallen in love with them? Truly fallen for them hard.

.

It seemed like forever, but the snow was finally starting to melt. You couldn't help but dread leaving, even with the promise you made. This was too bittersweet. Walking away from Klaus after all this time felt just as wrong as staying had back then.

What were you gonna do?

On the one hand you knew you were more than welcome to stay, regardless what you said. On the other, you tried your best to keep promises when you made them. Breaking this one wouldn't hurt... right?

At the same time, the fact that you weren't meant for this life kept creeping up. You were still a hunter, and all this time you'd left your village alone. Would anyone recognize you? Would they care? Would you be welcomed back as freely as you were welcomed here? Would they blame you for what you weren't there for?

Klaus also knew that the clear skies would likely mean you'd leave. And his own inner turmoil was bubbling to the surface again. Should he ask you to stay? Offer to go with? Plead with you to return?

Tell you how he felt perhaps?

Despite being in the same room, hardly three feet away; you might as well have been on two different planets. Steven and K.K. looked between the two of you with deep sighs.

It seemed obvious, but how long would it take for the two of you to just say something? K.K. absolutely wanted to meddle and convince you to stay, push Klaus into saying how he felt and speed up this process. It wasn't about getting back to normal, K.K. just wanted to see Klaus happy for once.

And maybe she wanted to plan a wedding. She did love throwing parties after all.

Steven however had other things on his mind. Like how Klaus would likely become despondent if you left. Or injured if the beast-man decided to follow you out of here. Either way, it would hurt Klaus in the long run.

But it didn't have to be this way and Steven knew it.

"Klaus?"

"Yes?"

"I've been thinking. About the promise I made..."

Klaus stared, politely as ever. For once it wasn't unnerving, just a bit expectant.

"I-" CRASH

Both of you stood instantly, turning toward the front door. What was going on? Who could possibly be barging in here?

"[NAME]!"

You recognized the voice, barely. Though if you were correct, then... What was he doing here?

"[NAME]! ANSWER ME!"

"[Name]?" Klaus looked so confused, "Do you know who...?"

You were trying to grab something, anything to defend yourself with. Well, really to defend Klaus with, Chaz would never be able to accept a 'tamed beast'.

No matter how many enchanted objects told him it was a curse.

"[NAME]!"

The door you were both facing flew open, and as expected Chaz had his bow out and ready. Instantly aiming for Klaus, no words needed.

"CHAZ!" You shouted, "DON'T SHOOT!"

"[Name], get down. That thing is--"

Klaus could only stand there. Steven, even as a suit of armor, was going to do his duty and protect Klaus. A loosed arrow rang hollow through enchanted metal, none of the staff were really capable of getting injured in this state.

It was stand-still confusion as Chaz's mind raced. You were trying to herd the monster out of the room, away from him. And talking low so he couldn't hear you. This had curse magic written all over it.

Shame that Chaz couldn't put two and two together properly.

.

"[Name]." Klaus was still at a loss, "Who was that?"

Leaning over to see if Chaz had followed, "He's another hunter from the village. Kinda... really obsessed with me. Dunno if its his version of a crush or a rivalry or what, but he won't leave me alone."

That only worried Klaus, though he knew you weren't the one in danger here. He couldn't help but be concerned for you the whole time. The bigger problem at hand was the man who barged in wielding bow and arrow.

And the best Klaus could do was take you through back rooms to hopefully outrun him.

Though it was unlikely that he would leave on his own.

"Stop right there monster."

Klaus instantly froze, regretting going through a main hall at all. His arm held you back, out of the way of danger. Not that you weren't struggling to break free, you knew Chaz wouldn't intentionally hurt you.

And the dumba$$ in question took that to mean you were struggling to escape from Klaus. Loosing an arrow quickly in his half-baked attempts to save you from danger himself.

"KLAUS!"

The arrow pierced his knee deeply, the hiss of pain as Klaus fell to the ground was painful to you. Cutting deep into your heart. Chaz was already notching a second arrow.

"[Name], get away from it! Before it can attack."

That just made your blood boil. Instead of just defending Klaus, shielding him from danger, you yanked a sword from the nearest suit of armor.

"[Name], what's wrong with you? I thought you were fighting against the mind control!?"

"Draw your sword." You spat, "Now."

"[Name], c'mon. Its me. You know me, Chaz. Remember? The guy who-"

"Draw your sword."

Klaus could feel the murderous aura pulsing off you. Chaz could feel it too, backing up a few steps as you descended the stairs.

"Draw your sword, Chaz."

"[Name], I don't want to hurt you."

You weren't going to be so nice, swinging at Chaz with intent to draw blood. Purposefully aiming to miss so he had time to realize just how serious you were.

Sword scraping hard stone, barely inches from where Chaz's foot was three seconds ago. If he hadn't moved then he would be missing an arm.

"Draw your sword."

Shaking badly, Chaz did just that. He only just realized how badly he messed up by not stopping to listen to you earlier.

Steel clashed in a one-sided conflict. Chaz could barely defend himself as you fought. No one was going to endanger Klaus like that, nor disrespect him. Not with you around.

Every swift movement knocked Chaz backward, pushing him out the front door. Blood dribbled from him, your relentless attacking left no room for mistake. Though Chaz kept making them, just barely avoiding the brunt of the damage.

What you couldn't see was how Klaus was transforming. As you fought, he could only stare in amazement. Understanding precisely why you were attacking so harshly, and finding that it made him giddy. Though a little mortified that you would take such drastic measures for him.

It wasn't just Klaus transforming either, Steven and K.K. ran out to the sight of you slashing through fingers and leaving a messy trail of revenge. The look on your face was terrifying, but Klaus was still injured.

And he was a bit more of a top priority.

"[Name]!" Chaz cried out, "I'm sorry! I'll leave! I!"

You stopped suddenly, the darkened look on your face unyielding, "Then get out."

Gathering what little resolve he had left, Chaz opened the door. Running for his life and unsure what to think. This was nothing like the epic rescue he thought this would be. Chaz had been expecting to find you needing his help, not ready to kill for some random beast.

.

You fell to your knees beside the vaguely familiar form at the top of the stairs. Not entirely sure the curse was broken, Klaus still had fangs. But he was still much smaller than before, thought he would still tower over you.

"Klaus?"

His hand felt the same, just a little smaller as it cupped your cheek, "Yes, it's me. I... I don't know what to say really."

"I can fix the suit of armor." You started, "And polishing the sword, scrubbing the floor. Its the least I can do since this is my-"

You were cut off by a soft kiss to your other cheek. Part of you wanted Klaus to despise you for being so violent, part of you wanted him to be upset that you managed to ruin the carpet and stain the stone. Part of you wanted him to punish you in some way for being the reason he got hurt.

But part of you just wanted to stay here and live out the rest of your life with him.

"At the moment," Klaus said slowly, "I'd like to ask that you help me to my room. And perhaps we could finish the conversation from the kitchen."

[cariantha]

Please, do share something about Braving the Elements! Adore you to the moon and back, darling Cari. ❤️️

Hi my lovely Lin! 💕

I'm actually really excited about this one. This fic (or maybe mini-series) might be my next project after I finish the next round of edits for my Intern Year series.

It's set during Book 1 and depicts some of the times that Sawyer is at Ethan's place helping with Naveen's case.

FALL - WIND : Their research session is done for the night. Ethan waits with Sawyer in the lobby until the car he's called for her arrives. The winds outside are really strong. When the car arrives, she says goodnight and steps outside. She's hit with a large piece of debris before making it to the car. Ethan rushes to her rescue. And well basically, they play "doctor" that night.

WINTER - SNOW: During a leg-stretch break, Sawyer looks out the window and comments on the heavy snowfall. Ethan doesn't bother to look up, because Sawyer always thinks any amount of snow is a lot. Coming from AZ/SoCal, she doesn't have a lot of experience with snowstorms. When it's time for her to finally go home, Ethan realizes that she wasn't exaggerating this time. It's really coming down outside. He insists she stay the night and sets her up in his guest room. From there they have a few charged encounters.

SPRING - RAIN (after Miami): Sawyer is on her way to Ethan's when she witnesses an accident. She stops to help the injured and it starts raining hard. She arrives at his door soaked to the bone and shivering. He offers her a warm shower, dry clothes and hot tea. And let's just say there ends up being a reverse Miami/shower/towel/mirror event.

SUMMER - HEAT: I've been wanting to add one more element to this series, and as I sat here and thought about it, an idea finally popped into my head. So, I'm thinking maybe the fire alarm goes off in Ethan's building. Two ideas: 1) a hunky firefighter starts coming on to Sawyer and it stirs about some jealous Ethan, or 2) Raf shows up on scene and catches Sawyer at Ethan's place and she has to figure out how to explain what she's doing there.🤔

[stainlesssteellocust]

Rambling about fictional food. Again

Love the stuff about the alfar figuring out magic in prehistory, even before they learned proper speech

Just imagine them ripping open multiverse-spanning portals to find more berries and storing their food in Flintstones-ass temporal stasis grids it’s so funny

Being able to preserve your food with time-freezing is interesting, actually, especially when you consider how that might have affected other methods of food preservation. Yes you can make British-style jokes about them knocking over nations for spices, but it goes beyond that.

I wouldn’t be surprised if salting and smoking etc was originally done by slaves or other poor, marginalised alfar groups who weren’t able to use large amounts of mana. Slower, less reliable, ‘dirtier’ practices. Over the millennia the others would have noticed ‘huh that tastes good’ but it would still be a minor part of their cuisine for quite a while, so some of their stuff, especially low-quality snacks or rations, might be quite bland. This tracks: While she never mentions human food being better on average, First considers alfar time-stoppered military rations to be…not great, and is much happier eating a late night kebab while sober, which, er, wow lol.

Generally speaking I reckon the Host (or rather, the support structures they left behind to die) generated their own food, so mostly the stuff you can grow in a borderline-arctic nation…though considering greenhouses, biomodding and other forms of Literal Magic, who knows what they might have?

I have a vague thought that high-class alfar meals might be focused on minimally prepared and extremely fresh basic ingredients as a show of cleanliness and quality, with much of the flavour coming from sauces and condiments added at the eating stage. A steak that was time-frozen moments after being carved off the animal, still steaming from the beast’s body heat as it’s flung into a pan in front of you…the meat itself is unseasoned, or hit with salt and pepper etc moments before cooking, but the flavour comes from the multiple sauces and dips that are served along with it, which probably draw from alfar poor-people food roots somewhere way back in history.

I already figured they’d have slaves gather pure snow in winter to be magically preserved and used to make a shaved ice sort of thing as a summer dessert, it’s in one of the Cold Iron Bound drafts. Of course the elves are absolutely sophisticated enough to just freeze water in the summer, they just send the help to dodge monsters because they can. Absolute unhinged decadence.

Are there any strange holes in their knowledge? We know they don’t have paper, are some foods the same? Maybe, due to the preservation stuff mentioned above, they don’t really have cheese the way we do? In a cold European climate they probably did drink milk, but they might not have progressed that vital technology to the same degree as us. Cassie might look at blue cheese and be like “absolutely not that’s disgusting”, repulsed even though, as I said in a previous post, I’m not convinced she has a cannibalism taboo.

On the flipside, maybe they still have Silphium. They have a lot of extinct animals, after all. Cue Cassie badgering Alex to learn how to cook with Hing, since it’s the closest thing left. Poor guy. He doesn’t strike me as a kitchen natural but considering First finds cooking your own food to be actively bizarre, I think it’s probably going to be on him lol.

I reckon they have spices. Even in antiquity we were able to get some. Of course we don’t know what trade looks like on Alfheim (they want to call us Urukheim so) or how the Americas interact with Eurasia or anything, really. But the Morningstar Empire extends to Africa and into Russia, so they’ve got the grasp for it. And Cassie was ‘easy’ when they were talking Indian food IIRC, so I think she implicitly has some spice tolerance. Yeah not all Indian food is like that but it suggests she wasn’t limited by an inability to eat it.

…Maybe, considering their stoicism and hatred of emotional weakness, the elves one-upped each other by handling incredibly spicy food back home.

*cut to Cassie in a Thai restaurant, desperately maintaining a poker face while trying to convince Alex to swap dishes with her as if he can’t see the tears running down her face*

Alex: Look Cass I’m happy to walk through a sketchy portal with you, I’ll kill your family for you, I’ll eat and shoot and beat people to death for your sake, but you chose the spice level and you’re going to have to live with that decision

and yeah they totally eat their enemies hearts and stuff too

[jeanjauthor]

There was also a study done on socialization a few decades back. It was based on population density and tracked the individual interactions of certain groups of snow monkeys of Japan. Those monkey troops that were less than a certain amount (it was a long time ago, so I know it was less than 200 for sure, but might have been 100 or less), each individual had positive individual interactions & relationships with just about every other monkey in the troop.

In contrast, in the monkey populations that were over 1,000 (as could be found in wildlife sanctuary areas near hotsprings in Japan), it was found that specific snow monkeys only actually interacted with about 30 other monkeys at most, outside of their own immediate blood-related family group. Individuals in such large, densely populated colonies actually ignored each other as much as possible, outside of that tight circle of interactivity.

Individuals had their own "inner circles" that overlapped somewhat like chainmail, so that the colony as a whole was integrated, not fractioned. But overall, they interacted with far fewer members of the massive colony on an individual monkey-to-monkey basis than those living with barely a hundred or two in their whole colony.

This was decades ago, and it was speculated that the high density of the populations in the large colonies were too stressful, so rather than risking getting into a fight--because the monkeys couldn't know who in the crowd might be a friend of their target, charging in to help, versus who might remain indifferent--it was simply safer to politely ignore most everyone else.

And honestly, that spoke volumes to me as a human being.

In our increasingly crowded cities and suburban sprawls, it is getting harder and harder to make friends. I hear the doubt and hesitation in "Oh, I don't want to bother my neighbors; they look so busy with their own lives."

Meanwhile, in rural communities, everybody knows everybody else's business. And it seems intrusive AF to a city-dweller, but in a city, your survival depends partially on, well, "herd immunity"...the concept that if a big bad disaster happens, you might survive, because there are so many others to be "picked off" by said disaster, like lions hunting zebras or whatever. (Keep in mind that this is primal hindbrain thinking, not what will actually happen. It's a primal survival instinct that we don't have much in the way of conscious control over.)

Meanwhile, in the very small monkey troops, every single member is needed to survive!! It's very tribal-oriented. You have That Guy Who Can Fix Tractors, and That Gal Who Can Successfully Pressure Can Anything, and The Kid Who Makes Dogs Leave The Chickens Alone who you ask to come over to train your dog so he stops harassing your neighbor's ducks, and you have that skill that Can Repair Any Garment To Keep It Lasting Longer. And you all need each other, so you all work together, even if you occasionally have spats.

You have to get along, because you don't have gazillions of neighbors you can buck up your courage to go ask for help.

(Please note that if feuds do crop up, it can be devastating to a rural community. Most folks do their best not to let things get to that point, but it helps to understand the local culture to know What To Bond Over And Mend Those Fences with, socially.) (...Pie probably helps. Or at least doesn't hurt too much.)

It was kind of interesting to me that out of all the people in our training group, the ones that were the quickest to form social bonds were the people from way out in the country and the city people just kind of quietly kept to themselves.

But I was definitely accepted as one of the bumpkins.

[mi6021samringwood]

deep tree biome

to dive into the other idea of a deep sea forest i decided to sketch out some ideas of what might live at the bottom. a description of this sketch might help you understand my thought process. the main core of this ecosystem is the enormous pilar trees. they are so tall that they prevent all light from reaching the forest floor. these trees are a combination of oak and giant sequoia. the hight of the latter with the criss-crossing wide reaching branches of the former. these trees are fundamental to all life here. in the roots of these trees grow a hybrid combination of fungi and coral. these fungal networks spread not only all the way up the interior of the tree but to every other tree nearby. higher up the trees these fungal networks bloom outwards to disperse spore particles onto the ground below, these spores are often eaten by small filter feeding plankton bugs. the tree also hosts multiple parasite species, for example the tree barnacles. the barnacles burrow into the trees as they grow creating a array of small holes in the bark that insects and other small animals use as homes. Another parasite are the giant tube worms which unlike the barnacles start inside the tress as grubs then sprout these long shells outwards to protect them as they filter feed on the spores and insects in the air. on a larger scale the jellyfish and siphonophores eat the same way taking advantage of the weaker gravity at these depths of the forest to float in the air, thus becoming a stinging obstacle for any small flying thing. due to their bioluminescence at these dark depths of the forest they are often the only natural Lightsource. the deep Forrest isopods are the ecosystems detritivores cleaning up any dead matter that falls down here as well as feasting of young tubeworms and barnacles. the king of filter feeders however is the oarfish. this creature has the legs like a stick insect. it is very fast moving using it enormous back fin muscles to move vertically through the air and latching onto trees when needed at higher arias. these creature are nomadic and move through the valley chasing plankton bug blooms (where plankton converge in high numbers to reproduce).

a large amount of my inspiration came from watching deep sea documentaries like blue planets midnight zone episode.

the picture below is a siphonophore

below is a image of marine snow, a collection of biological waste that slowly drifts down similar to my forests fungal spores.

this shot of bioluminescence and bioluminescence in general is a strong part of this idea.as well as the vertical up and down movement deep sea creature can have

below is a photo of a giant isopod, distantly related to wood louse. the thing I like about this image is that it gives a good size scale for this insect. imagining these creatures rummaging around in the leaf litter and ascending into the trees as night fell seems like a scary yet interesting creature and this feels at home in a dark forest already with little adaptation.

below is an image of a giant tubeworm.

this documentary below was part of the reason i thought of the idea in the first place as I'm fascinated with the strange appearance of the ore fish. although id recommend watching it in full i have taken screenshots of some of the imagery i liked the most. but without the movement and sound the creatures are not done justice by this portrayal , as in the documentary it really captures the atmosphere of the ocean especially at night. and the ore fish is so long i couldn't even take a picture where its all in frame. the image that sparked this idea in the first place, was looking up in a Forrest at night and seeing an ore fish half hanging half clinging onto a tree and the reflection of the torch light your seeing by illuminating all its bioluminescence. that felling of seeing the bottom of its tail then following it up and up and up craning your neck before you see its strange head.

this was also where i first found out about siphonophore's as seen below

i love the plumage it has and the way its skin shine

and its size and bioluminescence.

overall i think the strangeness and beauty of these creatures floating around in the deep depth's of a forest is something i really want to create.

how your vision gets obscured in a dark forest and the ocean is another similarity between these spaces. its the horror and beauty of the deep ocean but in a much more familiar landscape. one that is a lot more relatable to the viewer than the ocean floor.