#I might be working on shit I guess but not posting progress images lol

[milapurr]

[phantomswolf]

here, i answered the art questions

1. Art programs you have but don't use

aseprite, krita (nightmare to draw in), i used to have a totally 100% absolutely-not-pirated copy of photoshop but not anymore

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

depends on the day, but usually the left. i hate doing side profiles tho

3. What ideas come from when you were little

A LOT. but my story Nightfall has been a work in progress since I was 11

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

GORO AKECHI PERSONA 5

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

i hardly post most of my art on Tumblr atm, but that’s because almost all of it regards the Kirby Gemini AU and my partner and i are making a blog for that. so, as a percentage for the last few years, i’ve probably only posted maybe. less than 1% of my work?

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

honestly a lot of old emo art fksbfjfbd jhonen vasquez was a huge inspo to me for a while

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

PLUSH MAKING AND FURSUIT MAKING god i wanna learn but i don’t think sewing is my thing

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

i’ve had a lot, but i wanna keep them to myself in case I wanna salvage bits and pieces

9. What are your file name conventions

Depends on the day and the art piece but usually shit like “sorry if this looks gay”, variations of AWOO, “normal”, “k i l l”, “straight people”, etc

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

Uhhhh armor (i say like a fucking freak)

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

this nightmare of a playlist

12. Easiest part of body to draw

Uhhhhhhh depends on the day, usually the face

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

iunno, i don’t think abt that

14. Any favorite motifs

A LOT. i cant think of any specific ones rn but i guess. religious imagery is pretty baller. that and super dark palettes with bright neon highlights and accents

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

my room for digital stuff, but i usually bring a sketchbook with me if i’m going out

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

oughhh coloring and shading

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

usually water. hydration is important 👍

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

traditional, i have no clue. too many. digital supplies uhhh i didn’t break per se, but two art tablets have given out (my first one lasted years, but the second only lasted a few months coz it sucked booty hole)

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

TREES.

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

expression work!

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

my partner’s style!! i love it so fucking much

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

i do a lot of hand stretches. carpal tunnel was too much of a bitch not to

23. Do you use different layer modes

all the time! always for shading and for glowing bits. multiply and add glow layers my beloved

24. Do your references include stock images

sometimes yea lol. i don’t use refs as much as i should tho

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

Too much for me to be happy about it.

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

i drew a vent piece and people took it as me just being edgy. wild times

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

somedays i do. usually just shitposts or my sona

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

i have participated in 1 (one) collab

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

uhh ace attorney and persona

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

is it weird to say a lot of my works? like the finished ones. iunno, i feel like i get overlooked a lot and it’s a cowabummer

[wickymicky]

my top 10 favorite kpop singles of the first half of 2021

i did one of these at the end of march, for the first quarter of the year, and this is my update for the second quarter, which obviously is also the first half of the year lol. so like, that’s kind of a big deal, we already know half of all the kpop that will be released this year, and im starting to have strong favorites that all the stuff from the second half of the year will have to struggle to beat, haha. 

rather than do a big thing like my year-end list that i did at the end of 2020, i’m gonna limit myself to just three sentences per song for songs 10-6, and five sentences for the top 5 songs haha. if these songs are good enough, and they stay high on my list all the way through to the end of the year, then i’ll post big full-size reviews of them then, i guess. or if you want to know more of what i think about something, or why i put something where i did, feel free to ask me about it lol, i love having discussions about this kind of stuff

anyway here’s the list

10: Lunarsolar - DADADA This is kind of a surprise pick for me lol, and I’d be lying if I said that at least half of the reason I wanted to include it here wasn’t just because I want more people to know about this song, and also to surprise people with an interesting pick haha. But genuinely, I think this song is really solid, there aren’t many flaws with it that I can even think of, and I’ve listened to it a ton since it came out. It’s such a fun song, and if you like girl groups and you don’t know this song, then I highly recommend it haha

9: Rocket Punch - Ring Ring When I saw the teaser images, I thought this would be a disco concept, and like it kind of is... but only in the visuals lmao, the song seems pure 80s synthwavey stuff, more like Everglow La Di Da than GFriend Mago (and I’m into that, personally haha). This was a really cool comeback for this group, and I’m continuing to get more and more into them with each new thing they do! I don’t really have a lot to say about it, but it’s just fun and catchy and bright and loud and good, and yeah, it’s a song I’ve really enjoyed listening to a lot, which is really all that you need in order to make it on this list, you know?

8: Cherry Bullet - Love So Sweet This song feels really simple to me, but in a good way! It really feels like the songwriter(s) had a really good idea one day, and wrote a song for it immediately, rather than trying to start a song and come up with ideas as they went haha. It feels like everything in the song is in service to that underlying idea, and everything helps bring it to life more

7: Itzy - In the Morning (or Mafia in the Morning, whichever you prefer. I just tend to call it “Mafia” and nothing else, lol) Okay this one might be kind of a hot take, cause I’ve seen people be prettttty divided on this song, but I personally love it haha. Sure, the lyrics are corny as hell, but that’s nothing new for kpop, and I do think the use of the mafia game as a song motif is kind of interesting, I suppose. But honestly the biggest reason why I love it is the production haha, cause damn this song hits hard and the instrumental just sounds so cool (as do the bsides! their Guess Who mini album is my album of the year so far for sure, no question)

6: Fromis 9 - We Go I’m so glad Fromis came back with this song, and I feel like it’ll be a really meaningful song for me in time. This period of time right now, when we’re starting to feel like progress is being made in the fight against this virus that’s been dominating our lives for a year and a half... I think this song captures that feeling perfectly, possibly without even necessarily trying to. It sounds like a sigh of relief, meeting friends who you haven’t seen in a long time, or just the reassurance that even though many people are still very much in quarantine and taking things very seriously, this won’t be forever and there is still good in the world... that’s what it sounds like to me 

5: TRI.BE - Rub-a-Dum This one was kind of a surprise for me lol, cause I wasn’t expecting to like a song with this title this much. I like Doom Doom Ta, and I would have put it relatively high on this list if Rub-a-Dum hadn’t come out afterwards, but I feel like this song does everything that Doom Doom Ta did but better, and in a bit more of an interesting way. It was written by Shinsadong Tiger and LE from EXID (just as Doom Doom Ta was) and I think this song has LE’s touch all over it, in the best way. I love that this song is kind of experimental, cause like it only has one verse... it goes Intro > Verse > Prechorus > Chorus > Bridge > Final Chorus haha, and i think that’s mostly so that you can luxuriate in that chorus drop as much as possible. The song just really works for me overall, it’s super solid and I just couldn’t deny that it’s in my top 5 favorite songs of the year so far. 

4: Dreamcatcher - Odd Eye As soon as this song came out, it was another moment of “Wow, Dreamcatcher just put out the song of the year right at the beginning”, just like they did in 2020 lol. But as the year has gone on, I think I’m not as into this song as I was into Scream and Boca (the other two from Dreamcatcher’s Dystopia trilogy, with Scream being my SOTY last year). But like... a Dreamcatcher comeback that I feel is just fairly decent and not one of my most favorites... still gets it to 4th place overall haha. That’s just Dreamcatcher’s power, even the songs I’m not as obsessed with are ones that I still get pretty obsessed with. I love this vibe, it’s a really different take on a cyberpunk-y genre from other kpop songs that have dabbled in it, and overall I think every member slayed this (especially Handong who made her triumphant return this comeback!)

3: Weeekly - After School Okay, I’ve been pretty conflicted on this song, because even though initially I wasn’t sure how much I would get into it, it nevertheless is my single most-listened-to song of 2021 so far. Part of that is how much I love Weeekly, part of that is how fun the performances were to watch (and I’m counting watching those as listens to the song lol), but also I think it really did grow on me quite a bit, and I was even considering it to be my favorite of the year for a while. It’s a lot of fun, it’s really catchy, and it’ll probably go down as one of their most iconic and fan-favorite comebacks. It’s the kind of song that’ll get stuck in your head for weeks. It’s just very very very very... Weeekly, haha. 

2: Everglow - First This song is a fucking whirlwind, and it really beat the shit out of me just like the members do to the camera in the music video lmao. It’s pretty different from La Di Da, which has become one of my favorite kpop songs ever, but I really really like it too. I feel like First is what Everglow were going for with Adios and Dun Dun, but fully realized, in a more complete form. I love how high their budget seems to be now, and I love how they seem to be really coming into their own as a group, I feel like this is the Everglow they were always meant to be. Honestly, I could see this maybe becoming my SOTY by the end of the year, and it’s very close (within 10 or so) to being my most-listened song of the year, but I do still think it’s too soon to say for sure haha

1: STAYC - ASAP This was such a hard decision to make, because honestly the top 4 on this list were all really strong contenders for first place, but after a lot of thought, I’ve decided that ASAP is the one I feel like I’m the least likely to change my mind on. I’ve listened to this song every single day since it came out, except for like 4 or so, which means that even though I’ve listened to it less than the three songs below it on this list, I’ve listened to it more consistently than any of them... I just have not gotten tired of it. It’s such a breath of fresh air for kpop. It’s kind of minimalist because it really doesn’t have any extra stuff, it’s very streamlined and it knows exactly what it is and that’s all it needs to be, and that makes for a very satisfying listen, in my opinion. This song sounds like what heart-shaped things look like. ASAP ❤︎

[lucky-draws]

Hey!! Your art is awesome :) Where did you learn to draw? Did you go to school or are you self taught?

Hello!! Thank you so much!! :D

It's a bit of both really, I mean I studied art at gcse and A level (which I guess is basically the UK equivalent of us high school level?? Idk how to describe it since school systems are different in every country lol) but I've not studied it at university level or like a proper private art school kind of place or anything.

But also, and I this is gonna sound cliché or whatever, I guess I've been drawing since I was little so aside from school lessons I've had many years of practice of just kinda figuring stuff out for myself basically.

(LOL and I would also say that sometimes school art lessons weren't always that useful, especially for a couple of years when we had rly bad teachers lmao. We did some stuff that was beneficial like life drawing classes and such but in my experience so much of our time was spent writing a load of fake pretentious bullshit instead of actually being taught how to draw LMAO but that's just my feeling...I could write more abt the way art is taught but I won't xD)

Right now I'm not studying anywhere, so I'm working on getting better at drawing by myself. I only really post my fanart on this blog but sometimes I do other stuff like exercises and anatomy studies that I don't post, which are helpful,, maybe since I'm already waffling I'll mention a few things I find useful to do in case it's if interest to you or anyone else? Under the cut tho, since this is getting long LOL

Observational studies/drawing from life is something that's very useful I find; just in terms of generally training yourself to look at something and try to represent it accurately and learning more about what things, textures, shadows, etc actually look like. Lately I often take a sketchbook out with me and do things like sketches of people or buildings or studies of plants, flowers etc. None of them are masterpieces, but it's just the activity in itself that's fun. Sketching people or animals forces you to be quick, because you don't know when they might move positions or leave or whatever, and being able to quickly and confidently get down the basic lines and forms of something is a good skill to have and to practice.

I also enjoy human anatomy and figure drawing so I'm trying to get better at that. Anatomy is a huge subject and it's too much sometimes to get hung up on trying to learn all the bones and muscles; a while back I got myself a textbook and found videos with that object in mind, but eh. I realised it's kind of a little ambitious when there are still so many things abt drawing in general I still don't know how to do, so I'm going to leave properly teaching myself detailed anatomy until later. Running before you can walk kind of thing, maybe.

That said though, doing a few studies now and then is still very useful, just learning a bit at a time and gradually getting used to remembering certain aspects about drawing the human body is progress enough.

In school, life drawing classes were pretty useful but I don't have access to any rn sadly. However, and this is not a #spon or anything jfjffj it's just what I do, I like this website called line of action which has photo references for artists to use; obviously there are countless sites like it but I like this one because it provides you with a timer tool kind of thing, so you can set it to 'class mode' and it will give you images to draw from in stages of 30 second sketches, then moving to a minute, then longer 5-10 minute studies and so on.

Even if you don't know shit about muscles and whatever, just observing the human figure from the outside (via images on the Internet if you understandably do not have access to real humans to pose for you lmao) and drawing it a bunch of times is still beneficial. The other I day I realised that ab muscles were confusing to me, so I literally just googled male abs and copied from a few pictures, just noting how they look, what basic shapes to remember etc.

Another good exercise that I haven't done for a while actually is to do some continuous line drawing, which means drawing something without taking your pen off the paper. For a subject you can use something/someone from life or just a picture on your computer or whatever, but basically just focus on keeping your pen/pencil on the page without lifting it, it's really useful in building up, like, confidence in your line work I guess, and it can look pretty cool actually, because it makes this kind of squiggly effect.

I'm just answering this on mobile right now and don't have time to post any pictures, but I'm thinking I could always post some of my studies and practice work now and then. Some of them will be messy LOL but I guess it might be a good thing to show this kind of stuff instead of finished, polished pieces all the time idk?

Anyway this got long and you didn't rly ask for it sorry chjfnfkf but thank you so much for the ask!!! Hope you're having a good day :-) ❤️

[katierosefun]

author interview tag game

thank you for the tag, @pandora15! <3

Name: caroline

Fandoms: mostly the clone wars, but i also have some marvel stuff, and waaay back in the day, i wrote some doctor who and merlin stuff!

Where you post: primarily on ao3! i mostly just write on tumblr when i’m accepting prompts from like...ask games or something.

Most Popular Oneshot: real

Most Popular Multichap: to these memories (this fic only recently hit 1k kudos, and my heart?? w h a t)

Favorite Story You’ve Written: def. to these memories because a) longest fic i’ve ever written, and b) oh, the hours i logged into writing this fic, and c) oh, the outlining that went into this fic...i’m very proud of myself for completing the fic, and of course, i credit this to everyone who showed their lovely support for the story. :’)

Fic You Were Nervous to Post: uhhh definitely too far just because it’s...rather personal. i sometimes say that there’ll be a scene or two or just straight up a line or two that’s plucked out of my real life, and i think it’s inevitable for writers of any kind, including fic writers, to isolate their real lives completely from whatever they’re writing, and?? this fic is probably the most personal for me because of that. i remember kinda hem-hawwing about posting it, because i was like whoa, maybe this is a little too personal? but then i steeled myself and was like, “okay, well, would this have lifted my spirits when i needed a story like this??” and then decided to post it.

How you choose your titles: i def. toss and turn between titles! there’s a few fics of mine that are straight-up song lyrics (no surprise there), but to my surprise (as i was looking through my catalogue of fics just now), i realize that a lot of my fics are usually just words or two about what i think might have been extremely important to the story. (or captures the overall tone/theme of the story, anyways.)

Do you outline? for multi-chapter fics and relatively long one-shots with lots of moving parts, i’ll outline. but for shorter one-shots and prompts, i’ll usually just stick with the image that compelled me to write the prompt/one-shot in the first place! (and then kinda write around that.)

Complete: uhhhhh, i’m gonna answer relatively for all my clone wars fics, because in total, i have 74 completed fics. (make that...75, hopefully in a few minutes or hours!) but out of clone wars fics, i have 46 completed fics! (and again, hopefully 47 in a little while.) a part of me is lowkey hoping that i’ll get up to 100 total fics by the end of this year. a part of me highly doubts it, but given how much i was able to write over summer break, i’m...intruiged if i wind up somehow writing another twenty or so fics by the end of this year. (asfsf my wip list is long enough to fill in for another twenty fics. caroline finish all your wips challenge.)

In Progress: okay, so officially, time, wondrous time is in progress and online. but in terms of the works in progress on my laptop...i have...*mutters, counting* fourteen official wips. (ten of them are one-shots, and the other four are longform fics. one of them, i’m hoping to release next week (!!!), and another, i’m hoping to release hopefully around mid-december. uhhh so fingers crossed??)

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: oops, i guess i kinda already answered that question, but eh, might as well! the one coming out next week (hopefully!! caroline get your shit together challenge!!) is titled most ardently, and it’s an obitine au based off pride & prejudice because i cannot and will not shut up about obitine being the period drama ship out of star wars okay--

and then the other longform fic that is very overdue is called getting lost in a big galaxy, which is a fix-it of sorts taking place after season 5. anakin’s gone missing, and obi-wan winds up going on a galaxy-ride road trip with ahsoka (who, remember, has left the order) to find their idiot. this is honestly my excuse to just write more obi-wan and ahsoka content. hopefully, that’ll be posted in december!! (despite the fact i...originally meant to post it in august oOps.)

and then there’s this other longform fic which...might be coming in early 2021 called red, underlined, which is essentially...uh. everyone’s a stressed out law-school student, and anakin might have accidentally murdered professor palpatine, and now anakin, obi-wan, ahsoka, padme, and rex are all trying to find out what the hell to do with themselves because they’re all in on it. (def. influenced by how to get away with murder except without the criminal justice professor to lead them through the ropes. so more chaos. kind of a dark comedy vibe, if anything else? anakin no is major theme in this one. uh, i mean, maybe anakin was justified in murdering creep palpatine because our gang’s gonna find out what was going on in the background, but either way! lots of “holy shit are we good people are we bad people what are we doing”. lots of questions about morality! ethics! law school student study nights with anakin sprawled out on the floor and obi-wan wearing glasses (which he pushes up the bridge of his nose whenever he’s about to lecture anakin that no, that’s not how that statute works, dumbass) and ahsoka just bringing snacks and rex catching paper airplanes and padme being the one to supply everyone with very neat flashcards. this fic is gonna be an absolute beheamoth, and i’m estimating about 45 chapters? like...130K+ words? help? yeah idk either this really blew up in my head

and then...this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job, which is...office x tcw au. only not? it’s very, very loosely based off the office, but not really. obi-wan moves in as a new manager of a company, and we’ve got anakin being like “lol new guy i’m gonna mess with him”, and ahsoka being the one who’s both like “please don’t mess with our new boss” but also being like “actually, wait, lemme help”, rex being in hr and being like “i don’t get paid enough for this”. (also there’s some parts that are written like actual interviews like you would find in the office, so there’s this one bit where uhhh

Obi-Wan flicks his eyes to the cameras in silent question before turning back to Ahsoka. “Well, if you need to call maintenance, then I hardly think you need my permission—”

“Thanks!” Ahsoka says quickly, and she’s about to disappear from the doorway when Obi-Wan stands up.

“Wait, Ahsoka, what exactly—”

Ahsoka re-appears at the doorway. “Oh, right,” she says. “Um—maybe just stay away from the men’s bathroom for a little bit.” She pauses.

“Actually, just stay away from them for the rest of the day.” She hovers by the door for a minute longer, and then she adds quickly, “And maybe also avoid the breakroom. Everything’s fine!”

And with a perfectly not-fine smile, Ahsoka disappears from the doorway.

Obi-Wan stares at where Ahsoka was just a moment ago, and the he turns to the cameras in disbelief. “Did she just—” Unable to finish his own sentence, Obi-Wan starts out the door. “Ahsoka?”

The camera follows Obi-Wan out of the conference room and into the breakroom. There are only muffled shouts—Anakin’s shouts, and then Rex’s, and then Ahsoka’s frantic “no, sorry, everything’s fine!”, and then Obi-Wan’s loud, “What is going on in here?”

surprise y’all just got a snippet i’m sorry can you tell i’m weirdly into this au?? i need to rewrite some scenes but uh there you go

Prompts: for the most part, yes! i have some stuff in my faq about prompts that i’ll probably turn down (mostly anything that’s...above a certain rating/really, realy heavy themes that i just don’t think i can tackle with justice or with enough education on my end). i can be a little slow with prompts, but i’ll get to all of them in time!

Upcoming Work You’re Most Excited About: uhhhh i have too many that i’m excited about. literally i can write a mini essay on every single one of the fics i’m working on? but uhhh i guess since i already talked about all my major longform fics above (asdfasdfsd didn’t mean to do that, i’m so sorry for everyone who had to scroll past that word-vomit), i guess the one i’m most excited about releasing is the post season 7 obi-wan-and-ahsoka-finally-talk-about-how-they-miss-each-other-also-sorry-for-fighting-with-you-i-know-you-were-just-trying-your-best fic. (not a whole ton of spoilers for this one, but uh. i’m looking at some of these scenes and making frustrated sounds because there’s this one particular instance where i’m like, ahsoka. ahsoka just talk to him just ta lk to him but then lol no talking :)) also maybe some h/c? lowkey sickfic might be involved in this somehow? might have accidentally served as a precursor to to these memories? help? this fic just ballooned. caroline keep your ideas contained challenge!)

No Pressure Tags: @lightasthesun @soplantyourownflowers @ohhellokenobiand anyone else who wants to join!

[jyndor]

lol i got mad about a thing reylos said. shocking. (tw: nazism, fascism)

just saw a ridiculous post about how people who talk about the first order as being nazis are ignoring history and disrespecting jewish people and let me tell you

that the only reason I didn’t write this on that post is because I think the op is probably jewish and also a kyle ron/reylo fan and lol well. I don’t need to be told I can’t have an opinion on this or that I am attacking them. this is nothing personal, except that reylos have a history of being racist and dismissive about fascism, and so I am honestly shook that someone could be so disingenuous. lol oop that was personal.

if you know anything about film history, you know that george lucas got his inspiration for the empire’s look, and also for certain shots of the rebels, from nazi propaganda made by leni riefenstahl, specifically triumph of the will. (guys don’t go looking it up if you haven’t seen it unless you have a strong stomach because it is really, really disgusting). now, that is more or less what happens when you have a guy who is a student of film history make a movie about, you guessed it, a band of rebels fighting an imperial force but in space. george lucas also put a lot of politics into star wars, specifically anti-fascist messaging. this is like the most basic argument people make when dealing with right-wing fans of sw. this is what we’ve all said to some dumbass white guy who got mad about rey or finn or poe. I would bet that some reylos have also had that conversation, since they care about rey (I guess, although that might be too strong a word; they certainly don’t care about shipping her with a guy who tortured her lol but I digress).

jj abrams took what was already overt fascist imagery from the empire and turned it up to eleven for the first order. this is actually why I found the inclusion of POC as first order OFFICERS (not low level workers Bodhi or stolen baby stormtroopers like Finn) to be kind of fucked up, because it diluted the narrative. do not come at me with some idiotic YESS MORE BLACK IMPERIALS YESS because I am just not here for that brand of idiot representational pinkwashing(? this is a term we use for putting gay shit on monstrous corporate/imperial shit to seem more progressive but it might not be the right term for this).

if you look at the og trilogy, every single imperial officer is a posh white british man, and while I am sure that was partly because diversity was not really something george seemed mindful of, it was also a deliberate thing. like, they clearly wanted to evoke an image of imperialist, and yes FASCIST, rule. this is not that hard to understand so don’t be fucking obtuse just because you like kyle ron or reylo. not that I believe that the intent of the creator is the end all, be all, but in this case it does matter.

yes the anti-alien biases were mainly a product of legends, but I am pretty sure it is also implicit in the original movies because there are no aliens to be found in imperial ranks, and they are everywhere in the rebellion. and yes, I can understand why this might be offensive because you don’t need metaphors to understand why the nazis were bad, and yet. maybe, sometimes, you do need to give people a metaphorical understanding of things they haven’t experienced. and humans have a notoriously difficult time understanding large numbers - so maybe, a visual example of what the fuck genocide might seem like is... idk, helpful for kids? alderaan being death star’d might not be actual history, and it might not represent what jewish/romani/etc victims of the nazis experienced, but it IS chilling. personally I think that tfa did a better job with its death star knock-off because we actually saw people in their last moments. alderaan’s destruction can be rightfully criticized as too distant, since we only see leia’s response, and not what it felt like on the ground. but undoubtedly this is a fictional representation of fascist, imperial might - and all the destruction that comes with it.

it isn’t just visual, and of course the star war isn’t real and no real alderaanians were harmed in the making of the movies. duh. it’s a metaphor, an allegory. like idk who these reylos are kidding, acting like people who criticize you guys for stanning a fascist fuckboy don’t understand that these are just fiction.

the REASON I get mad about reylo and about kyle ron stans, is because nothing exists in a vacuum. NOTHING. not a damn thing. the dumbing down of stormtroopers and imperial ideology (vague though it might be) is actually how Disney gets away with marketing t-shirts with stormtrooper helmets on them to little kids, or like idk how people have convinced themselves that ben solo is just misunderstood and damaged, and not a thirty-year-old man who has made a deliberate choice to commit genocide. his so-called abuse (which we only get to see in a comic? like I’m sorry do better with your sob story) is no excuse for at best being silently complicit in genocide, and at worst actively campaigning for it.

I think there are good critiques that people make about saying the empire is nazism, because obviously this is fiction. you cannot have it both ways. you cannot say that it is anti-fascist when you are arguing with right-wingers who didn’t get that message, and then turn around when people say your fave is at best neutral on genocide (lol) and say we can’t talk about how he is a fascist.

I saw someone say something like, no one calls darth vader a fascist. LMAO yes we fucking do. now I will be the first to admit that anakin gets a lot more empathy, and part of that is because he is a more beloved character with more nuance than kyle ron. and decades of lore. but also because he didn’t grow up a privileged son of a princess, he grew up enslaved and because of his traumas he went right-wing. which does in fact happen. but yeah, darth vader had to die at the end of rotj for a reason - because no one would forgive him for the crimes he committed against the galaxy. it’s tragic because he had the potential to do great, and he redeems himself by killing the emperor, but approximately no critic of kyle ron would ever say that anakin skywalker deserved to go free and live without consequences for his actions.

if I have more sympathy for him, it is because the movies gave me reason. not because he’s hot. or idk a bad boy.

and after the racist abuse that john boyega got from KYLE RON AND REYLO stans specifically, if I were them I would shut the fuck up about how offended you guys are about calling him a fascist or a nazi. you can like your bad boy wet dream if you want, and you don’t have to even like that people think he is a fascist, and you can deny all you want all of that OVERT FASCIST IMAGERY that jj abrams put into tfa, but it’s there, and we don’t live in a vacuum, and I am not here for people dumbing down cultural phenomenon.

redemptions arcs are great! I believe in rehabilitative justice, and I agree that there is a bit of gatekeeping on who gets to be redeemed in stories. but rehabilitative justice isn’t just like you let people who do bad shit get away with it, it is a long process wherein offenders have to do some serious work on themselves. it is not easy. it is not fun, doesn’t end in sex with daisy ridley. and in many ways, it might be harder than doing hard time.

but I also don’t think we get to just... rehabilitate the lead officers who are complicit in war crimes without dealing with what they’ve done, that is how I feel about george bush, and yes, that is how I feel about kylo ren, no matter how much you try to woobify him. because that is what society already does - we let the monsters at the top of the system get away with war crimes and murder and rape, so maybe we should fight that kind of narrative in fiction, too.

we don’t live in a vacuum.

[mcrmadness]

Rambling about my (dä fan)art...

I was writing another post and this kinda got out of hand and turned into me talking about my art overall. I’m gonna put this under the cut because I don’t know if people are interested in my art nor especially in my thought about it and my “art history” basically, but if you are, then I hope you enjoy.

And yes, this is gonna be about my die ärzte fanart mainly!

So let’s start with the HELL coverart drawing because that’s what I was talking about originally:

I’m extremely happy with how the drawing turned out in the end and I like that feeling of success when I’m happy with something I have created. That is not always self-evident with myself. More than often I have plain hated my drawings or have felt like there should be something done differently, or something that I could always improve at and do better. So this feeling where I’m actually content and happy with what I have created is something new and different. I have a dopamine rush every time I look at that drawing. I like the drawing. I think it looks nice. And I’m extremely happy about this fact and I am not afraid of admitting it. Perfectionism is a curse and a gift. It can sometimes make your life a living hell when something that is perfectly good still feels like it’s not enough. When everyone else sees that what you have done is actually good or even great but your brain just keeps repeating how it’s shit and everyone else is just delusional and that they don’t see what you see. And this is like the polar opposite of that feeling. It wasn’t other people who were delusional, it was you and youself all along. You were the one seeing the image in your head and the drawing not matching that image. Other people saw only what you had created and couldn’t compare it to anything. And that doesn’t mean it was never good.

So whenever I do these comics and comic style drawings nowadays, I just feel so happy. I feel that I am no longer failing them, I feel like I can draw the image I see in my head. I finally feel like I can draw, I have some skills, I’m not a professional and maybe not as good as everyone else but I’m good at what I’m doing. This is my thing and I’m good at it and it’s enough. And I love it when I feel like I’m improving. For years I felt like I was stuck, like my skills would have been glitching somehow, I didn’t get better no matter how much I drew. But I guess I tried too much and was too harsh on myself because I believed that a drawing is good only when no reference photos have been used. And I sucked at drawing without them. I still do! I was staring at the Hell coverart the whole time I was drawing! I wouldn’t have been able to do this if I didn’t! And this feels particularly good also because this is the first time I have tried something different with these comics. I have never tried to draw a photo or existing picture with this style. I have only drawn my comics and those I have created all by myself. The clothes come from what I have seen in videos and photos but the plots are created by me alone, with a idea coming from somewhere actual usually, as inspirations do.

For comics I do look at reference photos of people sitting or standing, or I look at the mirror, or even take photos of my own hand to be able to draw something. And that’s lots of fun and also challenging because I’m mixing there my old habit of portrait drawing with my less serious comic book style but I really really do like the combination. It also makes me feel that I am memorizing what I draw and the next time when I need to draw that same posture, I no longer need the reference photos because they’re no in my brain. And in my muscle memory. My hand remembers how to do the lines now.

Here you can see one of the sketches I did in 2018 - I had this image in my head and I wanted to draw it and I just... drew it in my sketchbook. Didn’t use pencil. But now I’ve noticed I like doing these on proper paper instead of the sketchbook AND it’s so much more fun to first draw the sketch with the pencil and then draw on it with the fineliners. That I have always done with the comics (apart from one) because they take more time than these quick sketches. But here you can see Farin’s legs on the first image - I think I might have looked at reference photos for that but then it was so much easier to do the to the comic I made in 2019.

I have now also figured out that a big part of my style is not to draw just simple straight lines. I like making those sketch-like lines even with the marker. They look more rough but that’s something I like seeing with my art. That’s what I was missing when I was staring at the lines I had drawn before and hated every detail of them. They were too clean and neat.

^These two I have also drawn on my sketchbook in 2018 and I don’t really know why. I guess I was still a bit stupid and didn’t really realize I’m drawing again. But anyway, they both were inspired by my own fanfiction I have written a long time ago. It’s one of my favorite self-written fanfics and it had these two scenes I just saw in my head and felt like I could try drawing them. Maybe that’s why they are in my sketchbook, I wasn’t sure if they were going to turn out even good... The marker around the second one obviously was shit and the paper wasn’t good for it, and I never finished with it so it looks a bit weird. Do I need to say that I really enjoy drawing very small, repetative details, like those tiles? It’s so soothing, almost like a therapy.

I think that quitting antidepressants in 2013 has done so much good for my creativity. If you compare my work from 2011 to 2019, the difference is huge - all are just parts from my comics:

Can you guess see the difference? But have to admit I am jealous for myself for how I have drawn Farin’s hair to the 2011 one and maybe have forgotten to color Farin’s arm but... I actually had so long pause from drwing (~8 years) that I forgot how I did that and had to use THAT as a reference when I was trying to draw late 80s Farin’s at some point last or this year :D

Anyway, my style with the shadows is a little different when I use colored pencils than when I use markers. This is from my latest comic from this year, where I experimented with Promarkers the way I had never done before and I really like how it came to be:

I have owned this set of Promarkers (black + 5 greys) for years and have never really used them, apart from the black which I usually used for the thick lines anyway. And wanted to see if I could find some use for the greys too! (Yes that’s Bela back there - this comic was an alternative ending for Für Immer music video :D)

And I wanna end this post with a face progress comparison for all three. During this I also noticed that before I used to draw their side profiles and it was really difficult to find images where I’d have drawn from from the front. And nowadays I have mainly drawn them from the front and it’s hard to find side profiles! Interesting! Here’s one of Farin and Bela from a drawing I made this year:

Also the hand that was so much fun to draw but I also took photos of my own hand in that posture in order to even draw that - that was fun! :D

But here are the last three images - using the HELL one as the last for each, of course:

Bela has always been the easiest to draw. And the first one of these three is actually from my first ever Bela&Farin comic! I didn’t color their skin back then. With the next ones I already did color their skins too but I used darker colors to do the shadows. Nowadays I do the shadows with fineliners. Or it depends - that 2019 one doesn’t have that lol.

Damn it was so difficult to find something where I’d have draw Farin from the front :D And I see the HELL one literally is my second (or third) time drawing Farin with his grin. Or if you count all those numerous extra mouths I drew because I failed the first one, then I have drawn his grin at least 15 times by now. I probably can draw his teeth with no reference photos from now on.

I haven’t drawn Rod too many times. I can actually count about... 5 times? And then there’s only 2 times when I’ve drawn his side profile but he’s at the background. I don’t know if I’ve ever really succeeded at that, I usually try to draw his head a more round and his eyes smaller than for Bela and Farin and I was actually bit worried for the HELL one and was wondering if I’m going to ruin the whole thing. But in fact, that was actually easiest of them to draw. And STILL I’m surprised by how alike he looks in that last one. In fact, I think his dacial features are perfect for a carricature drawing so you don’t need to do more than a few lines for the mouth and it looks like his mouth. The middle one was for a drawing I made for a friend and with this I actually looked at photos so that I could draw some of his hairstyles from the 90s and I liked this one the best and it was also quite easy to draw too.

Do I even have to say that I’m not extremely motivated what comes to drawing? I feel like my creative has become what it has never been before. I still don’t really know what to draw but I just feel that whatever it is I’ll start next, it will be good. And if it doesn’t... who cares? I had so much fun with those extra mouths  of Farin which was maybe visible from the video I filmed, and that is what makes drawing worth it. Before I took the drawing process so seriously and a mistake felt like the end of the world but now I laugh at them and make fun of them and don’t take them too seriously. And I always have ways to fix these, or I can redraw. Just like I did with Farin’s mouth (or a half of his face actually) for this newest drawing. The most important thing is that I’m having fun and enjoying what I do, that way usually the outcome will also be a success.

I have now at least 2 dä comics on my to-do list (I don’t remember if there’s a third one too) + one pencil drawing that is halfway there. It will take one more night/day for it to get it finished. I also have probably 5 ideas for self-comics etc. in my sketchbook and I try to find some time to work on those. Or actually I have a plenty of time. Adhd, time blindness and executive dysfunction just make it feel as if I didn’t :D Can’t wait to get working on my next drawing projects, tho!

(I wish I knew how to make art for a living even but that’s a topic that will need its own post which I’m probably do in a near future if I don’t forget :D)

[mellz117]

Hi! I’m Mellz and I’m starting up Kingdom Hearts 2 on the PlayStation 2! 

Just below are links to the first parts of my previous Kingdom Hearts plays.

[ KH1 ] _ [ Re:CoM Sora ] _ [ KH Re:CoM Riku ]

It’s been a hot minute, like 3,155,763 smoldering hot minutes, which would be 6 years including leap years. Yeah it was 01/27/2014 last I touched this game, exactly 6 years ago to this day (01/27/2020) as of me starting up again. This was an accident.

Guide thingy: Things like long gaps between commentary and days will be separated by a line of dots like that ->  ……

Text relating to an image posted will have a blockquote either above and/or below the image

Dialogue exchanges will also be separated by a blockquote

Ok I'm playing on standard difficulty, if I'm having a hard time, then I just suck. If you’re reading this and haven’t experienced KH2 for yourself, why are you here? Go away, there’s spoilers for things that aren’t revealed until later.

SO LET’S JUST JUMP INTO IT

……………………………………………………………………………………………

I always liked this fancy CGI opening. There’s a lot of things I missed last I saw it.

IT’S HIM. Look how cute he is! 

So we start off with a recap of Kingdom Hearts via a dream it seems and our protagonist, my precious boy Roxas, wakes up his own home all alone because apparently DiZ didn't create a digital family for him. But KH is notorious for forgetting parents, so maybe they did. I’m not Cinema Sins so I wont ping this game for not giving Roxas fake parents lmao

In the next scene Roxas is more interested in his own hands than he is in his friends' conversation. 

blurry ring textures, blurry checker pattern. Not everything holds up well on a flat screen TV

He hasn't been paying attention so he's just as confused as the player is at this point when he finally takes his attention off his hands.

This dialogue is so early 2000's. KH1 and CoM avoided this but with the urban setting of Twilight Town it's DEFINITELY noticeable and outdated. So rumors have spread about Roxas, Hayner, Pence, and Olette that photographs are being stolen, and THEY'RE the theives. Who is the operator of the rumor mill? Seifer and his posse. Also the actual WORD is gone too, they try to say “photo” but it just DOESN’T EXIST. This is where the game gets a bit odd.

TUTORIALS GALORE. I JUST WANT TO PAUSE AND CHANGE THE CAMERA CONTROLS STOP TELLING ME ABOUT MY NEXT OBJECTIVE but no no it’s telling me how to lock on, control my camera, context sensitive buttons, etc 

This girl’s dress looks like shes wearing a bra over it 

I like how the animal AI hasn't changed at all in this entire series. And by like I mean hate, KH3 doesn't change that. Sven is as boring as this cat we have to look at.

The gang heads to the sandlot where Seifer, Fuujn, Raijin, and Vivi like to hang out I guess? Vivi is a little, solid black, wizard dwarf amongst all these regular humans and no one bats an eye. This shit is normal. Seifer with his stupid Seto Kaiba jacket, shows up to further accuse Roxas and his friends of stealing photos, one specifically of Roxas flat on his face and Seifer standing triumphantly over him (which we’re actually shown later). "That was undeniable proof that we totally owned you lamers" he says in regards to it and challenges Roxas to a rematch.

A+ dialogue

Seifer. My dude, ya dumb-dumb. If you think for one second that I'm gonna let my boy lose to you, you are sorely mistaken. 

“If you get on your knees and beg, maybe I’ll let it slide.” Seifer says and Roxas plays it slick, taking a knee and looking through a convenient selection of foam weapons. Battle ensues.

So of course I win because Seifer is a pleb, and Pence takes a commemorative ______ of Roxas's sound victory, but oh no! Something stole the camera right out of Pence's hands! Roxas gives chase, because apparently he's the only one who cares enough to do so, and confronts the actual thief, a Dusk type Nobody. Roxas is taking this creature encounter rather calmly. Like mild confusion at most.

I hate these things, they're creepy. When you do a reversal on them they like, plant their hands on the ground behind them and their legs wrap around their arms while they spaz out. Ughghdhahh

Of course Roxas's foam bat doesnt cause any damage to the Dusk, and suddenly a familiar giant key digitally manifests in his hands. DiZ is installing mods I see. I have a Keyblade mod in Skyrim, so we have something in common.

After we defeat the thief the next scene shows the gang at the usual spot with the recovered photos. Ok ok so was "photo" the only word deleted from the vocabulary or were any other alternative words taken away too? Like, if they could have said "picture" this whole time, they would have had much less stupid sounding dialogue exchanges. Whatever lmao.

“Tell us about the picture thief.”

“Not much to say. The pictures were just lying there.”

You liar. Tell them about how you fought a wormy, white boy.

Pence notices all the pics are of Roxas and speculates the picture thief wanted to take the REAL Roxas and Hayner is like

The best friendships are ones where you can take jabs at each other and know there’s no malice intended.

 In the scene thereafter, the kids go their separate ways, the evening(?) sun assaults Roxas's eyes, and whenever he closes them he gets another vision? Idk what time of day it is it always looks the same.

God ok as someone who hadn’t played CoM before playing KH2 for the first time, I must have been SUPER lost regarding who DiZ and Namine were and why Sora is in the pod. More recaps of KH1: I don’t know why they found it necessary to redub over the old voices with the new actors in these flashbacks.

Moving on. Roxas learns what the Keyblade is through his dreams. On his way to meet up with his friends, he tries summoning the Keyblade with a stick, when that doesn’t work he carelessly throws it aside and it hits this cloak clad man behind him. This dude is either completely unfazed by that is or so offended he can’t even say anything and walks away before he goes all Karen on Roxas’s ass.

We’re back at the usual spot and summer vacation is nearing it’s end. Hayner wants to go to the beach before school is back in session! You poor fuckers...

Same, dude. I’m waiting on my tax returns, looking forward to that.

SKATEBOARD

“TO DEFEAT THE HUNSSSSSSS!”

Pretzels at the beach? Salty and not refreshing. I got you fam, I’ll make enough money for a watermelon. Roxas is so poor omg... How much is 150 Munny in American currency?

Just BEAT the cargo with a foam bat. What’s IN the bag? Is it trash? Clothes? Is it potentially breakable? Next. Time to beat some bees!

So Poster Duty was my go-to job in this game in the past because you could get 100 Munny if you did well. But now that I’m older I realized how annoying it is. I had an efficient route planned out, hit as many of the 3 poster placements in that route, and be over and done with that in about 1:10....

But then Roxas goes aND DOES THIS!

FUCKING SKIPS THE ONE DIRECTLY NEXT TO HIM, DEFYING GRAVITY IN FAVOR OF THE POSTS BELOW

HE DOES THIS CONSISTENTLY!! I do have a live reaction to this but it’s too big for tumblr. I’ll have it up on youtube one of these days

Eventually I stopped sticking posters to walls and became a mailman until the game made me stop.

Black-clad man is back with his own stick! Oof, Roxas eats the pavement and is manhandled by cloaky boy. WAS THIS ROUGH TREATMENT REALLY THAT NECESSARY? You might wanna treat Sora's Nobody with a little more respect. AND YOU STOLE HIS HARD-EARNED MONEY! YOU BASTARD!

The gang is on the clock tower, very dangerously high up. Wtf what if someone falls?! Roxas feels so guilty about what happened and Hayner gets over this little fiasco pretty quickly and the next day he already has another fun plan.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

On his way to the station, Roxas crosses paths with Pence and Olette, the latter two freeze and Roxas meets Namine. Is her interest in Roxas linked to her desire to be Sora’s friend? A strange girl tells Roxas she wanted to meet him “at least once” and he doesn’t know what to do lol. Namine doesn’t stay long, leaving Roxas with his confusion. What is going through his head? A girl he doesn’t know seems to know him well enough to want to see him. Pence and Olette unfreeze after Namine is out of the shot. Pence and Olette have such a cute relationship, I’d love for them to be siblings. Pence goes shopping with her even if he might not want to. I can relate, I hate clothes shopping.

These Dusks don’t seem like too much of a threat tbh, they just kinda swagger slowly towards Roxas and grab his hand. Roxas hardly struggles to escape to the sandlot.

Chicken wuss

WE FINALLY GET SOMEWEHERE, we end up on the stained glass pillars in the Station of Serenity (?). Time to grind for like 5 minutes because this giant noodle boy already killed me once.

This thing really unsettles me. All the creature Nobodies do! They’re all twitchy and stretchy. DISGUSTING

DAMN THAT IS A HIGH FALL HOW DO YOU SURVIVE THAT?!

Upon defeat, this big noodle boy falls on top of Roxas and Namine saves him from being enveloped by darkness.

Namine really seems to like to silence him. First she shoves her hand in his face but that was too forward. This time she daintily places a finger over her lips and says her part. Black-cloak guy shows up, rough handles Namine a little bit but not as roughly as he did Roxas. AND SHOVES ROXAS INTO A PORTAL

SEIFER IS AN OPPORTUNISTIC SHITLET POSING IN FRONT OF HIS UNCONSIOUS BODY. Bitch you didn’t earn that. Hayner, Pence, and Olette see Roxas with Seifer’s gang, Hayner feels betrayed thinking Roxas ghosted him in favor of Seifer. He stays pretty salty about it for a good while

IM NOT WORKING ON THIS LIKE I SHOULD. ITS ALMOST A MONTH SINCE STARTING. In my next post we'll be "Struggling" to progress. Eh? Eh? Get it? Like the tournament?

I'm not funny.

Here’s the next part: [ _2_ ]

Below is a compilation of my live reactions and comments throughout this point of the game.

[dramarising-replacement]

A Rant On How To Actually Run A Pet Sim.

DISCLAIMER: I love Flight Rising, it’s been one of, and still is a favorite game of mine. This rant is simply trying to bring light that the staff could be doing much better in running the site that they are. With recent issues such as the long ban appeal process, and that one time that Unicorn admin said “nothing is wrong with our gem paypal stuff” when everyone was CLEARLY having issues, I wanted to voice my opinion.

I’ve played a LOT of pet sims. Most recently, Flight Rising, Novilar (not really gonna talk about this one, it’s meh, it only recently started up, it’s definitely unique), and Lioden.

I’ve been on FR since 2014 and I thought it was the SHIT. Little 13 year old me was piss pants excited to keep a crapton of pretty dragons (who actually weren’t that pretty) and expand my clan into the stars!

Now I’m a bit more bitter about FR after seeing what other sites have to offer in terms of a unique experience.

RANT PART ONE: The wait for new breeds on Flight Rising.

At first, I completely understood the reasoning for why breeds took so long to come out. They had to do all the genes, color, and apparel for both genders of dragon!!

I’m not denying that FR has a wide, wide list of apparels (Upon checking the Flight rising database, it’s around 2000 pieces of apparel) I’m saying that other sites do it much better.

The site I’m comparing Flight Rising to is Lioden. Here is a small sample of some of the decor items they have on site, keep in mind that list hasn’t been updated since 2015.

ALSO! BACKGROUNDS! ANOTHER WONDERFUL THING FR DOESN’T HAVE.

My point here is that the Lioden staff drew apparel for the regular male pose, the regular female pose, 6 other female poses, and 4 cub poses.

However, this point runs dry when you realize that the mutations don’t get fitted apparel (sad trombone noise) (Lioden has mutations where occasionally, giving birth to a cub will result in a mutation, this can be anything from blindness, to the 3 primal mutations, all of which have separate linearts)

There are two types of apparel, in both Lioden and Flight rising: Universal and Fitted. 

Universal apparel on Flight rising are things like the Emblems, The Flowerfalls, the ugly crowns, something you can copypaste onto another pose. Fitted apparel is something that’s drawn SPECIFICALLY on, such as the lace apparel. On Lioden, while the primal mutations can’t wear fitted decor, they can wear universal decor.

So point for Flight Rising, right? They draw all of the apparel onto all of the breeds!

No fucking excuse for me, in the 2 years from nocturne to bogsneak, they had every chance to perfect making all of the apparel.

When Bogsneak comes out? HALF OF THE APPAREL IS FUCKING BROKEN FOR THE BREED. AND A LOT OF IT STILL ISN’T FIXED TODAY.

Bullshit to the excuse of “eeeuughg we gotta do every apparel for both dragon poses uwu” when a shit ton of the apparel doesn’t even work.

At least on Lioden, they’re honest. They say “we’re not going to be drawing fitted apparel for the mutations.”

BUT, GUESS WHAT? If you have an apparel for a mutation you want? YOU CAN DRAW IT YOURSELF. Even better? IT’S HALF THE PRICE OF A SKIN BLUEPRINT ON FLIGHT RISING.

EVEN BETTER? IF IT GETS REJECTED, YOU GET THE ITEM BACK TO GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT!!!

Alright, so, how about markings/genes?

Well considering that Lioden has 900+ markings, I think they win just a little bit. And guess what? 

Lioden doesn’t always have all the markings for their mutations done either.

But they’re transparent!

https://static.lioden.com/images/arttutorials/mutationstatus.html

this is literally a link to their current progress with the markings.

They released two new mutations (With new, complete linearts to a total of 3) WITHIN FUCKING MONTHS OF EACH OTHER.

FLIGHT RISING TOOK TWO YEARS TO RELEASE ONE BREED WITH HALF THE SHIT BEING BROKEN FOR IT! 

IT’S FINE IF YOU TAKE A LONG TIME TO RELEASE SOMETHING, JUST DON’T SHOVE THAT “We’re perfecting everything” BULLSHIT DOWN OUR THROATS. And if I recall, some of the genes were broken as well on bogs but lol let’s not get into that.

Some of the comparisons might seem a bit odd since the two pet sims I’m comparing have completely different systems/art styles, but I’m just saying that if they were honest about taking so much time releasing a half broken breed, it shines a light on how shoddy their site management is. Hire more artists, artists that don’t leave a good chunk of the apparel glitched.

And now, for the second part of this absurdly long rant.

PART TWO: THE STAFF.

On Flight Rising, the staff is often solid and machine like, half of the updates feel fucking soulless because they’re all formatted the same way. Aside from the ‘ask the team’ segments, which barely fucking happen anymore, we rarely interact with the staff.

Maybe not for other people, but for me SPECIFICALLY this makes it really hard to sympathize with the FR staff (particularly I’m referring to the admins with this). They feel distant, and a lot of the times they respond to comments (particularly backlash and criticism) is to be snarky. While this would be funny normally, when you literally never interact with your audience, don’t listen to them, and don’t RESPOND to them, when you act like a snarky shit it’s gonna make you look condescending.

Again, on Lioden, the admins, frequently, FREQUENTLY come into the chat to mingle with the players. While there they answer questions, share experiences, and are genuinely pleasant to be around, it makes you feel a lot more sympathy for them when shit goes down the drain.

Back to the custom decor/apparel again, there was a forum post where people would post their in progress pictures, and one of the admins would respond with how to improve/ change it. When staff goes out of their way to do something they don’t have to it makes a really big impression on the player base.

For those of you holding on still, god bless you, have a kitten.

PART THREE: USER INTERACTION 

So, one of Flight Rising’s biggest flops is how they interact with users, and how users interact with them.

The three big separate issues here are mainly:

Ban appeals.

User suggestions.

And helping users.

The ban appeals, or really contacting staff about fucking anything is a ridiculous process. We’ve heard the stories on here about how long some users have been waiting for someone to address the issue, let alone solve it. 

I shouldn’t even need to compare this to anything, in my opinion the wait times are just stupid. If I can walk to FR headquarters in wherever the hell they are faster then they can respond to an issue online? THAT’S BAD.

User suggestions are rarely implemented or looked at, and if they are implemented, we have no fucking clue. It doesn’t matter how much support a topic gets, the staff rarely ever listens.

Back to Lioden, almost WEEKLY people are credited for new suggestions that are implemented into the game, and while the changes are noticeable, it’s gradual enough to that it doesn’t feel jarring. It’s fucking awesome!

Also on Lioden, there’s a 'support/no support’ button that you can click to easily, quantifiably see what users want and don’t want.

Lastly, helping users.

FR staff follows HARD RULES, there is no room for improvement. Accidentally exalt a dragon? You’re fucked. A lot of FR’s rules boil down to 'we won’t help you if you mess up’ which, if you think about it, is what incites a lot of begging onsite (oh no i accidentally transmuted my light sprite some1 pls help ;n;)

On Lioden, if you make an honest mistake, they will help you

I’m not saying that Lioden is better than Flight Rising, all I’m saying is that Flight Rising has a lot of improvement it could be doing; Giving us transparency, honesty, treating us like people instead of a cashgrab.

A lot of these problems would be fixed by one thing:

Better communication.

I wouldn’t mind if Bogsneak took two years if instead of saying “We need to do EVERYTHING on this breed” and releasing it half broken, they instead said “It isn’t a priority for us right now” and actually taken their time.

I wouldn’t mind the cut/paste updates if the staff weren’t so distant.

And the user interaction could be a lot better, if Flight Rising acted less like a company, and more like a person.

Not to say that structure is bad, everything has to, and will have rules.

But if Flight Rising cared a little more, or ACTED like it, it would make the site magnitudes better.

[engagedtobefree]

Phase 4: Making Progress

Monday - Such a horrible day. My guinea pig ended up dying, which I already posted about but will definitely be posting about again some time this week. I had come back to work after dropping Max off at the vet, and Scott was spending his lunch in his car. I couldn’t see him cuz of the sun, but I did a little wave and an unconvincing smile and he waved back. My brain was on Max all morning and then when I got the call he died, I just instantly cried and my boss let me go home for the day. 

Tuesday - I was at the printer when Scott came in, and we said hello. I saw his daughter on his tea tumbler he was carrying. She looked pretty dark and I don’t know if it was just the image quality or not. I wonder if she’s adopted or not, but I don’t want to make any assumptions. 

I was 2 minutes late to go to lunch because I was working on something, and I was glad for this. Scott was at the coffee machine and he was already turned facing my cubicle just waiting for me to come out. We talked for maybe 5 minutes or so. I can’t remember all of our conversation, just talked about the Eagles, the cold, and a few other things. He smiled a lot at me, which made me feel better. I looked like absolute hell, and that is not an exaggeration. My eyes were very puffy and red from crying Monday and also today, and my face is a little puffy as well. I made him smile too, cuz ya know, I’m cute and funny. Steve, who is also in Scott’s office, saw me cry later on in the day, and I don’t know if he said anything to Scott in passing. He came over to me about an order, and I know it had to be obvious I had just finished crying. I kept trying to go to the bathroom if I had to cry hard, but I sat at my cubicle still if it was just a silent cry.

Wednesday - We said hi 3 times today, none of them planned on my part. In the morning, he came in quietly while I was at the printer, and I didn’t even know he had come in. Then I was at the microwave re-heating my coffee and he passed by m e to say hey. Then when I exited my cubicle to use the bathroom, he happened to be walking up to the coffee machine at that exact moment. I was not in the mood to talk since I had just been thinking about Max right beforehand, so I didn’t stop to talk to him. At the end of the day I left kinda slowly so that I could say bye. Just as I was about to enter my car, he came walking out and we said bye.

Thursday - Big, big progress. At least in my opinion. Scott was at the coffee machine and I guess now he expects me to pop out, because he no longer even bothers to face the machine while making his tea, which he used to do. He now leans up against the cabinets and faces my cubicle. We ended up talking for 15-20 minutes. He came right out and told me he has a daughter, which I already knew. I asked him how old she was (2) and if she lives with him (yes). I pretty much spent the past month thinking his daughter lived with the mom and that he only got her every weekend or every other weekend. I should know better than to make assumptions, but I think a lot of people just assume children live with the mothers. I wonder about the possibilities here (adoption, mom died, mom not allowed custody, mom ran off, etc), but I stop thinking about it because it would only lead to another assumption. I was surprised he told me this, but I guess he just wanted me to know, maybe in case he thought it would change my mind, which it most definitely doesn’t. I have no issue with it at all, honestly. I know it would be more difficult for him to date, but it’s not impossible. My mom was a single mom and one of my best friends is also. I don’t have first-hand experience, but I have a really good idea of what it’s probably like for him.

I asked him what he does in his free time, and he said his free time is limited because of raising his daughter. He then said he rode dirt bikes for about 20 years, so I ask him about that. He said he would compete and how he’s broken a lot of bones. I immediately think of seeing all of those broken places, but have to quickly shut that down because it’s going to take my mind elsewhere lol. He said he cant do it anymore cuz he has his daughter and cant have something happen to him, and adss "I gotta be responsibke now, ya know?" and we both smile, and I wonder if he is trying to impress me with this. I also think “damn” about his answer to the free time question. Both of my best friends told me to just ask him out for coffee or something, and I was going to if he didn’t ask me out after another week or two. But now I feel like I shouldn’t, because I have no idea what his weekends look like. Would he be able to get a babysitter, or does he need time in advanced to plan that? How much time could he spare? Also, what keeps me from asking is that he is clearly waiting. Maybe he wants to talk to me a bit more and get more familiar with me. We are both still a tad awkward, definitely me more than him lol, but I’m trying to embrace this period like my therapist mentioned.

I asked him his weekend plans and he said he was busy. He’s taking his outside Christmas lights down Saturday and then Sunday is the football game. (Just thought, is he waiting to ask me out till after football is over, since that will free up a day for him, sort of? But then this means I would still have to wait a few weeks ugh.) He asks me what my plans are and I tell him this is my first Saturday I’ve had free in literally months, so I don’t know what to do and that I might take have a relaxing me-day (this didn’t happen lol I slept in till 1 and then did nothing all day, which was actually nice. Did go over a friend’s Friday though.) I tell him I may go to a yoga class since I haven’t gone to one in awhile (also didn’t happen - will be going Wednesday instead) and that I do yoga every day at home. Not to get my hopes up, but he seemed a little impressed lol. (I actually only ended up doing yoga twice last week though because of Max dying.) We talk about exercise a little after this. My co-worker, Joyce, comes out of her cubicle, looks at us, and then says Scott looks guilty. Yeah, guilty of not asking me out yet. But in all seriousness, I think she may be noticing how we have been talking. There is no reason for Scott and I to interact, and especially because we clearly keep making efforts to keep our conversations going. If she has noticed, she hasn’t said anything yet.

Scott mentions how this week has been rough and I tell him about Max dying on Monday. I give him the briefest summary I possibly can, and he just listens to me, which was nice. We talk a little more, then I use the bathroom, and when I come back it’s my lunch time. He smiles a lot again and oh my gosh, I just can’t deal with it. I think he is the most adorable thing ever in every way possible.

Toward the end of the day, I’m standing outside my cubicle talking to Joyce and Robin. I am facing towards Scott’s office, and at one point he comes walking inside it. We lock eyes and he tilts his head up in a nod to acknowledge me. I don’t know what he’s waiting for to ask me out, except maybe the issue of having free time, but like damn, he makes me feel special already and we aren’t even dating. At the end of the day, I’m pulling out of the parking space when Scott comes out. We both give a little smile and wave.

Friday - I am tired, spent, emotionally exhausted. Did not want to get out of bed. It was a rough week, and in the car ride to work, I am already ready for the day to be over. Some time in the morning I am at the printer getting ready to scan something, and Scott comes out of his office behind me and says hey as he heads to the bathroom. I take this opportunity to look at his butt. So i lean back with a little smile on my face to check him out. He looks down the smaller hallway on his left and smirks, and i wonder if he can see me in his peripheral vision, or if he is just looking out the window. I dont care. It was worth it. I sit back down, then hear him come out of the bathroom and over to the coffee machine. So I print something real quick and head over to the printer. Then what do I do? I stretch. I’m leaning back and my shirt pops up. Why do I do this? I don’t know. I can feel him watching me and in my head I’m going “Really, Dana? Really??” Sometimes I do or say shit and I don’t know where it comes from. Obviously, I am trying to show off in some way. I turn to Scott and we only talk for a few minutes, and I tell him I’m tired, and I think it’s pretty obvious I’m not up for much conversation today, though I’m trying my best. I ask him if he drinks coffee too or just tea, and he says tea. He said he always gets the jasmine green tea but just tried the regular green tea and he’s not feeling it. He laughs and oh, my dear heart. His laugh always makes me melt, but he’s never actually laughed in such close proximity to me and it makes me so happy. Idk why I am this way with someone I don’t even know, but it just is. 

As I leave for the day, I stop at the end of the hall to put my gloves on, and guess who finally freaking leaves on time for once? Scott. I don’t even hear him walking till he’s only a few feet from me, and he has his sunglasses on with a smirk on his face. We say hey and he tells me to have a nice weekend. Then, as he’s exiting the doors, I guess he thinks to actually hold the door for me. He lets me pass and I thank him. So, no date, but I wasn’t getting my hopes up. He said he was busy this weekend, and honestly it’s probably for the best since I am so exhausted from such a draining and heartbreaking week.

I keep feeling like no progress is being made because I’m not where I want to be with him, but I know that’s not true. We literally just actually started having conversations and we are both trying to find common ground and things to talk about, which of course can only get easier with time and continuing to talk to each other. We talked for so long on Thursday and I feel like that is pretty good progress. And he told me about his daughter, which I was not expecting him to do so soon. This week I want to flirt with him a bit more than just smiling, like if he has cologne on tell him he smells nice or compliment one of his hats that he always wears. I don’t want to plan it since I want it to be as genuine as possible, but I would mean it even if I did plan it, because so far I genuinely see so many things I could compliment him on, and not just physically, though I will save the other stuff for later on if I get that far. And before, we would barely see each other, maybe once a week or so, if even that. Or in my case at least, which I’ve explained in other posts. Then we went from just smiling, greetings, and byes to actual conversations. And now we cross paths several times a day. Every week is something new and I have to remember that even though it feels slow, it isn’t. 

I had some yogi tea yesterday, and the quote on the tea bag said “Let things come to you”, which was crazy because just moments before I was debating on whether I should just go for it and ask him out. So I think I will just have to be patient a little longer. I have such good feelings about him. I don’t want to get my hopes up, but I honestly can’t help the amazing vibrations I’m having about him. I would honestly love to go out with him and I feel like I would have an amazing time no matter what we do. I’m so excited to see where this goes.