#I mean yeah it kind of is terrible but also it is good
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quick context: character im doing is shå; she is the girlfriend of angu, one of the main characters in neim’s worldbuilding project, kunirn. shå uses she/her, angu uses she/ her, kik (angu’s close friend/basically brother at this point lmao) uses he/xey 👍
1. i reckon she’s usually too busy beating people up to have other hobbies but like. does cooking count as crafting? she crafts. food lmao
2. this bitch might be trans but she wears the manliest man cologne lmfao like. whatever the kunirn equivalent of something tobacco, sandalwood and orange would smell like. man shite /fem
3. fuck yeah!!! that’s basically the main thing she does besides being gay and fighting people
4. mmmm not really, unless her and angu are baking together for the sillies (kik sometimes joins in too)
5. yeah!! she has the Ǎtrothang mark on her right shoulder (shown at the bottom of the post) as well as loads of others hjehekr
6. probably kik (angu’s friend n basically non blood brother) bcs xey seem like they would work the best under pressure and know first aid. all that shit yknow [update. neim told me that kik is canonically good at patching people up so i was right!]
7. bitch isnt scared of anything except her parents, and thats fairly normal i think. guys thats normal. right. ri-
8. yeah she probably has the weirdest collections of shit. stuff like bones, eyeballs, that kinda thing
9. she usually tries to just wait it out and continue whatever she’s doing, but when it gets so bad she can’t, she just leeches to angu until it goes away
10. not standing up to her parents’ bullshit :[
11. ehhhh probably not anything. canon but she seems like the kind of person who would
12. oh yeah shå has amazing style /gen this bitch dresses like the most butch lesbian. also she’s just hot lmao (evidence at tje bottom)
13. not in the slightest lmao
14. absolutely. it took her close to a year to open up to angu about her parent bs so. yeah just a bit
15. she’s just a silly lil guy. the sillies! silly and tiny and definitely doesnt have a really dark/horny sense of humour!
16. nope and nope :D
17. basically never. she stands by what she believes at doesnt bend for anyone
18. easier to become her enemy than her friend :3
19. you have to be pretty awesome she has trust issues lmao
20. meh not really seeing as her life in Ǎtrothang was. pretty traumatising
21. friends. friends for sure
22. never
23. n/a shes immortal /j (in other words doesnt think about dying ever)
24. most people are her enemies :3👍
25. uh morning routine, wake up and get on with the day. evening routine, go to bed and toss n turn until she eventually falls asleep
26. she’s her own hero (aka has no heroes (except maybe kik or angu but thats just her being gay lmao))
27. i mean. her meeting angu was pretty much a chance encounter and that changed her life drastically so!
28. # idontthinkgamingexistslmao
29. i’d want to be but she would scare me 😔
30. she doesn’t want to be famous. the less people who know her, the better
31. i would probably give her some sort of silly telepathic powers, she’d want invisibility
32. being afab (she doesnt mind the dick but she occasionally gets dysphoria thinking that she’s a Fake Woman because she has not biological booba (she is the most womanly woman i know))
33. oh yeah. i think angu, shå and kik would play silly ttrpgs the same way i play dnd with neim and my irl mates
34. terribly. she hides it well, but inside she’s struggling :[[[
35. in charge of her own destiny. fuck the dead gods she’s deciding her fate
36. yes and uh. for legal reasons no /hj
37. she doesn’t really like the gods, n chooses to just kinda. do her own thing lmao (same as angu but less Loud About It /lh)
38. she doesn’t dream (me core)
39. definitely!!! that sounds fun as shit!
40. she would be able to pull it out first try because shes a big strong jerboa. speaking of pulling ou-
41. she hates making mistakes so doesn’t learn from them as much as. promise herself not to make the same mistake again
42. yeh! she speaks mainly speaks rurleki (surprisingly. the language of rurlek) but also speaks atro from living in atrothang
43. fairly well, except mentally. afterwards she’ll freak out but she’s usually fine in the moment
44. only angu, not even kik i dont think
45. wing it gdejdbksbdkf
46. for sure, she probably lies quite a lot lmao
47. she would for quite a few people, ofc including angu and kik
48. in a heartbeat. revenge quest time babyyy!
49. nah she knows the difference. big difference (this is a threat 👍)
50. shes a trans lesbian jerboa!!!!! what is there to not love!!!!!!!!!
@neim-batteries-not-included haiiiiii :3
You've Got Questions and I've Got Answers OC Edition
Do they have any crafting hobbies?
Do they wear perfume/cologne? If so what scents do they prefer?
Do they enjoy cooking?
Do they enjoy baking?
Do they have any tattoos? If so what are they and do they have any special meaning?
If they were badly injured, and for whatever reason couldn't go to a hospital, who would they go to for help?
Do they have any unusual fears?
Do they collect anything? If so what and why?
When they're sick what do they do to feel better?
Do they have any regrets?
Do they have any addictions?
Do they have any sense of style? Regardless of the answer do they believe they have a sense of style?
Do they enjoy poetry?
Do they have a hard time opening up to people?
What kind of sense of humor do they have? Or do they have one at all?
Do they have or want kids?
How easily would they be convinced to do something that goes against their morals?
How easy is it to become their enemy?
How easy is it to become their friend?
Do they have a strong connection to their culture?
What is more important to them, friends or family?
Would they ever betray someone for money?
How would they want to die?
Do they have any enemies?
Do they have a daily/nightly routine?
Have they met any of their heroes? Did they regret it?
Has a chance encounter ever had an unexpected effect on them?
Are they a #gamer?
If they were real would you be friends with them?
If they had the chance to be famous would they take it? If they are famous would they rather they weren't?
What superpower would you choose for them and what would they choose for themselves? If they have one would they choose something else?
If they could change one thing about themselves what would it be?
Do they play ttrpgs? If so what kind of characters do they play? Or are they more likely to GM?
How well do they deal with grief?
Do they believe in fate or do they believe they are in charge of their own destiny?
Would they ever kill someone? Have they already?
Are they religious? If so do they have a strong sense of faith, are they uncertain, or are they somewhere in between?
What are their dreams like? Do they have any recurring dreams/nightmares?
Would they ever crash a wedding?
If they found a sword in a stone would they try to pull it out? How would they react to being able to pull it out or not?
Do they learn from their mistakes?
Can they speak multiple languages? If yes which all do they speak and why?
Can they handle stressful situations?
Who, if anyone, would they trust with their deepest secrets?
Do they plan in advance or just wing it?
Would they lie to get out of trouble?
Would they lie to get someone else out of trouble? Even if they would have to take that someone else's place?
How likely are they to go on a quest for revenge?
Do they have trouble keeping their enemies and their friends straight?
What is your favorite thing about them?
I love these so I figured I'd make one of my own! Just be sure that if you reblog this ask one or two of these to the person you reblogged from (。•̀ᴗ-)✧
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3.37 Soulmates
Today I’m spending some time with Pops. While I was camping, he found out that the LGBT center where he’s been working forever will be closing in just a couple weeks and he’ll be out of a job. It wasn’t unexpected–they’ve been having funding issues for a while–but it still sucks. Unfortunately, Dad is in San My for a gig this weekend, so I figure Pops could use some company.
“I’m really sorry about your job,” I tell him as he finishes washing the dishes. “Are you guys gonna be okay?”
“We have a good amount in savings, and I’ve already been in contact with someone at the LGBT center in Del Sol. They’ve all but offered me a position there that pays more and has more flexibility.”
“Wow, that’s great! So I guess you won’t have much of a reason to stay in Evergreen Harbor, then.”
“Not really. We could probably find a smaller place closer to the LGBT center.”
I know what that means. There’s no reason my parents should have to pay for another 3 bedroom house when their kids are grown. “I guess it’s time for me to find a place, too.”
“I’m sorry to spring it on you like this, but I think you’re ready for it.”
“Yeah, I am. I really appreciate you guys taking me in for as long as you did.”
“You’ve come a long way, Johnny. You’ll be just fine.”
“What about you? You’ll be all alone when Dad is traveling.”
“That’s the good thing about this job. I’ll be able to work remotely some, so I can travel with Dad sometimes.”
“Oh, that’s good then. I know it’s not easy for you two to be away from each other.” I pause. There’s something that’s been on my mind since I came back from my camping trip, and Pops seems like the perfect person to help me figure it out. “Do you think you and Dad are soulmates?”
“Soulmates? Hmm.” He stops for a moment to consider. “No, I don’t think we are,” he finishes.
“Really? Why not?” I'm taken aback by his answer. What does he mean, they're not soulmates?
“Well, you remember how Dad and I met, right?”
“Yeah, you saw each other at a protest and sparks flew or something cheesy like that.”
“Mm-hmm. But I don’t think I’ve ever told you the full story of what happened that night. Before I ended up at the protest, I was at your mom’s apartment–she told me she needed to talk to me about something. Instead, I told her I was gay and couldn’t be in a relationship with her anymore, and I left–without finding out that she was pregnant.”
“Oh. She was going to tell you that night?”
“Yes, until she decided that I wasn’t the kind of man that should raise children. If things had been different–if she had told me she was pregnant before I came out to her–I would have stayed.”
“You would’ve kept pretending to be straight?” I can't imagine what his life would have been like but it sounds pretty terrible. And to think he would have chosen that because of me and Chantal?
“For a while at least. And who knows, maybe eventually I would have found someone else to love and I’d still be happy. But I wouldn’t have met your dad that night.”
“Ok, but that didn’t happen. What does that have to do with being soulmates?”
“Because, Johnny, if I’d stayed with her a little longer then the things that happened to you and Chantal at your mom’s house wouldn’t have happened. I would have been there to keep you safe and well cared for. I just can’t believe that your Dad and I were meant to be together when the circumstances that led to us meeting were also the circumstances that led to my children being hurt and neglected.”
“Well, maybe it’s fate and you would’ve met a different way.” I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around what Pops is saying. A world where he and Dad aren't together just doesn't make sense.
“Maybe. But I don’t think any of these hypotheticals really matter. Like you said, that’s not what happened. What matters is that today, in the here and now, I can’t imagine my life without him. Any reason in particular why you’re thinking about soulmates?” He raises his eyebrows knowingly.
“I guess it’s more that I’m wondering how you know if someone is the right person for you, but it kind of sounds like it’s not that simple.”
“Well, a sign isn’t going to drop down from the heavens that says ‘This person is the one,’ but it doesn’t have to be complicated. Find the person you can’t imagine your life without. I don’t know if that’s what you were wanting to hear, but I hope it answers your question.”
Find the person you can’t live without. Maybe there aren’t signs falling from the sky, but those words are about as close as I’ll get. “It does," I tell him. "It may not be the answer I was expecting, but I think it cleared something up for me.”
“I see. Do you want to talk about it?"
Normally I would jump at the chance to get some input, but now I don't feel like I need it. I shake my head. “No, I think I can handle it from here.” The thought makes me nervous, but I can’t avoid this. I need to talk to Lacey.
Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next
#hmm what do you think he's going to tell her?#ts4#sims 4#ts4 story#simblr#sims story#sims storytelling#simlit#sims community#show us your story#stksafeharbor#safeharborstory#sh:chapter3#sh:johnny#sh:solomon
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Ep 22-23 Commentary
Ha...I was inexplicably nervous for eps 22-23 and it looks like I was right to be (-: What a rollercoaster. Spoilers below!
I've just come out of ep 23 and uh????? holy shit????? ZYC????
Ok ok but to backtrack, let's do my comments semi-chronologically:
Ep 22:
A carry-over from ep 21 that I have to mention—heck yeah PSJ give WZY hell. She doesn't have all that many lines but she sure knows how to make them count. Also seeing PSJ and WX get screen time just the two of them makes my brain go "yay <3"
Back to ep 22, loved the fake-out sundial ayeee that was a nice Chekhov's gun that also brings the real sundial back into relevance for later. Also me eating up the PSJ and ZYC crumb of an interaction has brought to my attention how starved I am of their screen time together.
This whole ep was a great lament towards the feared inevitable. Every sad downcast look from ZYC, every complicated glance WX gives him. A wonderful, terrible crossroads for these characters. I love that for ZYC especially, it's such an incredible mess of emotion coming to a head. Bad enough that he's come to care about the demon who killed his family and ruined his life, bad enough that he's sworn a blood oath he regrets and tied himself to punishing someone he no longer finds culpable, bad enough that ZYZ's life or death depends solely on his choice and ZYZ is constantly practically begging for death when ZYC wants him to live. How much immensely worse it makes the whole situation that WX is literally ZYZ's soulmate. And obviously the whole team has only grown more and more attached to ZYZ, too. ZYC's personal turmoil aside, how heavy must that responsibility and guilt be? For the finishing blow that only he can deliver to also deeply threaten every other person he cares about? Everyone understands in the abstract what must happen and why, but just like seeing ZYZ lose control firsthand, the gulf between understanding and experiencing is so unimaginably wide. If he kills ZYZ, can there really be no resentment from his friends? From WX?
Also it seems ZYC only wears cloaks so that he can give them to other people lmao
Ah fuck, the farewell drinks. I didn't even factor in how ZYC might not survive the encounter (''': The drama truly was like hm can we possibly give ZYC a worse day than that night his whole fam died? Maybe give him a bunch of new family members and also the blade and the fate and the sole responsibility to potentially irrevocably scar said family members with? And he might die in the process too? (-: haha maybe? (((-:
Oh. Oh. Addendum. I forgot this til I saw it mentioned in another post—ZYC recounting his oath as he watched WX smile when they discussed reviving the tree...I could feel him weighing those words against his own life, against ZYZ's life, against WX's happiness. One way out of this impossible situation is indeed to doom himself. I'm in pieces.
Damn if WX isn't dedicated heart and soul, going into the sundial like that. I'm sad no one could keep her company for those 300 years but also I guess that's kind of an impossible ask (and maybe not survivable for the other non-goddess mortals? I'm admittedly very unclear on sundial time loophole logistics). It would have been nice to see someone offer though, even just to be turned down.
Ooh I like the soul needle fake-out, given this show's penchant for retroactive "actually we had a plan all along" moments. A good subversion of the narrative's own style.
Also I saved this for the end because it doesn't really fit the linearity of my comments but what the fuuuuuuuck oh my god I absolutely flipped out at this scene:
I am at once rabidly intrigued and at the same time not sure if I'll be satisfied with whatever payoff will come for this so I don't want to overindulge in theorizing and setting my own expectations too high. Maybe this is just a fevered hallucination, maybe it means nothing (I hope it means something). But damn!!! What a gorgeous man crazy scene.
In conclusion, ep 22 had some good stuff for me. Plot development and reflection and tension enough that I may have been satisfied with just that one episode. But they gave us two, so onward to ep 23 comments!
Ep 23:
I like how many solid reasons the team has to suspect ZYC being possessed. Even though I withheld judgment during my watch given how quickly the show usually confirms that kind of stuff with a possession mark, just simply casting that doubt made the whole build up that much more intense.
ZYC slowly walking down the corridor with the whole grounds lit a somber and haunting gold—*chef's kiss*
ZYC's monologue to a catatonic ZYZ is so important to me. The closest we'll get to his internal monologue about this whole situation. The kinds of things said when we think there's no conscious listener.
Okay so, having finished this episode and looking back, Li Lun's hands coming up from behind ZYC was not to denote possession (at least in this episode), potentially is a visual from ZYZ's POV, and seems related to the above screencap. I am so, so curious. Once again, I'm stopping myself from further speculation because I want to be surprised but ahhhhhhhhh
PSJ shooting at Ao Yin is so gorgeous. Her action scenes seriously never disappoint—the creativity of her fight choreos!! Also very cool that the whole team is getting to take part in the action, not just the two male leads.
Bai Jiu possession was not on my bingo card but I sure do love that we literally saw the possession take place and I still didn't connect the dots. Good shitttt. Also oh no ): ZYC was telling the truth about the soul needle, he was just tricked ):
Seriously from the Ao Yin case to getting PSJ released to reviving the Divine Wood to getting tricked by possessed!Bai Jiu to making pear soup to fighting ZYZ to fighting Li Lun—when will ZYC get a single goddamn vacation day holy shit.
Also when will WX tear up that contract so ZYZ can stop having a mild heart attack every time he wants to kiss her ): &I love that they saved the 300-year montage for this moment. While their ship doesn't give me brainrot personally, who could be unmoved by that incredible and undisclosed sacrifice? That's soulmatism.
Okay, I'd seen clips of them filming the ZYC and Li Lun fight but damn I did not expect it'd be happening right now!! Right after already taking damage from ZYZ? And my god is Li Lun brutal. The two actors did such an impressive job on this entire fight, what with Li Lun's ease and ZYC's suffering. I really appreciated the extensive hand-to-hand combat after Li Lun literally obliterated ZYC's sword. (Also though, given the origin of that sword, I kept hoping for a flashback to ZYC's brother once it broke, but alas, no dice.) Anyway, the show does not play around about ZYC whump it seems. I was very very shook by that throat punch; that shit legitimately looked like it hurt.
Honestly, I had a hard time with the extended ZYZ and Li Lun conversation at the very end because oh my god someone please heal ZYC lmao. But of course, that's the end of the episode~~
Y'all...check on your local ZYC stans because I was not okay after all that (': I need a heaping dose of comfort after all that hurt, but as always I'm cautious of hoping for much from canon itself. So yeah! Ep 23 was solid, but I would probably be in better shape if today's release just ended on ep 22 ((':
Time to go wait for the cast's Hi6 episode to drop so I can heal my battered heart ;-;
#fangs of fortune#zhuo yichen#tian jiarui#fangs of fortune spoilers#gonna go watch TJR on blind box travel to tide myself over til hi6#thank god he is the literal embodiment of sunshine irl he never fails to make ppl laugh#i assume i will need much of that by the end of this drama#also not to MJTY on a FoF post (MJTY spoilers incoming!) but this level of TJR whump just takes me back to GSJ nearly killing GYZ#I was so hollowed out by that and since GYZ wasn't one of the leads I was trying very hard to resign myself to the fact that he might die#bc of course he was my fave#it ended up okay but he had GSJ to care about him#who does ZYC have ): obvs he has the whole demon hunting team but tbh more and more I see him as an outsider to ZYZ and WX's soulmatism#there's a heavy depth to ZYC's feelings for both ZYZ and WX#and I would say so far it is kind of unrequited in both cases (or at least any reciprocation is comparatively underdeveloped)#rip#why did i go and make myself sadder#episode commentary#meta
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Jaune: hey Ruby, What are you up to?
Ruby: ... Nothing I guess. I'm just. Tired.
Jaune: Well if you need a nap, the couch is open I could grab you a blanket.
Ruby: Not tired like that, I mean ... I get it, Jaune.
Jaune: What do you mean?
Ruby: Feeling the world on your shoulders? Like everything bad that happened to your friends is because of you? I get it now. It's exhausting and I just wanna sleep until ... well. You know.
Jaune: ... Is that how I sound whenever you and Weiss check up on me?
Ruby: I mean yeah. The real world is hard. Salem is hard. It's important to remember that our enemies are also just making it up as they go along and that thought is comforting.
Jaune: I'm not good at this... Look Rubes. You've been my moral compass. I look to you awfully fast when I'm not sure what to do. You inspire me. But you also haunt me like an evil spectre from the end of time.
Ruby: You've done stuff you aren't proud of?
Jaune: The drugs. The murder. The mayhem. I have power behind me now and I've done something terrible with it when no one was able to stop me.
Ruby: You used to come back to the Mistrali hideout soaked in blood all the time.
Jaune: Yeah. I killed three people that day in Mistral. Just idiots looking for a fight and acting tougher than they were. I cut them in half over it. I kinda hoped they would win. Or I wished someone would come and save them the way Pyrrha saved me. But she didn't. Couldn't. I just had that feeling.
Ruby: I haven't killed anyone yet. Seems inevitable. If I had some speed behind me and swung brutally.
Jaune: Some poor sap without aura and bam. Even with aura you can't exactly tell how full they are.
Ruby: Aren't we chipper.
Jaune: Just pragmatic. I love you Ruby. Ask me to kill for you. Ask me to die for you. I would hound your enemies to the remnants of this world. I'm not strong enough to see the way on my own. Guide me. Let me be your tool.
Ruby: I don't want that kind of responsibility. I want to be a normal girl doing normal girl things.
Jaune: Sorry but you are special. You have the attention of men and gods.
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Agreed! And personally when I say he should mess up, he should mess up greatly. This is probably because I'm starved for representation of abuse that doesn't portraits abusers as monsters evidently evil and full of ill intent, but I'm totally down for abusive Bruce Wayne. Yeah, sure, have the literal Batman berate and psychologically abuse his kids, neglect to address super important stuff in their background only for it to blow up in your face when they're confronted with it on the field, I'm even down for him to hurt his kids! As long as the narrative doesn't agree with it.
The thing is, with the narrative (and some takes from some very hardcore fans) is "this isn't actually abuse because you're missing key context". And then you look up and the context can be super complicated, with a whole lot of intense stuff going on, and it can be a very good explanation for what is happening, and it is still abuse. I think the issue is with the portrayal we usually have of it we see "abusive" as a personality trait, something really bad people do. It's safe, and comfortable, and it allows us to feel comfortable in our knowledge that because we're trying our best, we couldn't possibly accidentally become abusive. And on that ground, it's perfectly valid to refuse your childhood hero being some terrible monster who hits his kids! But the thing is, abuse isn't a personality trait, it's an action, and actions are extremely context dependent. If you're in an extremely high emotional situation, and trying to handle three different crises at once, and your child is being intrusive while you just need some space and you're mental ill and having an episode and you hit your child -that is still physical abuse. (And yeah, you can also abuse your adult children). And that means you have to acknowledge that it was abuse and it hurt them and you shouldn't have done it. What that doesn't mean is you have to define yourself as a horrible person and a failed parent.
The danger resides in two complementary courses of thinking that follow from these ideas :
1. abusers are awful and terrible. + i hurt my child, doing something that follows usual definitions of child abuse. + I know that there was a lot of context going on and I feel like it's not fair to define myself just based on that action while ignoring the context = I don't fit my conception of an abusive person because of the context = the context means that I wasn't abusive = the context justifies taking actions that would be usually characterized as abusive => chronicization of abuse.
2. abusers are awful and terrible. + my parent hurt me doing something that follows usual definitions of child abuse + I know that there was a lot of context going on and I feel like it's not fair to define my parent, whomst I love and consider good, just based on that action while ignoring the context = they don't fit my characterization of abusive parents because of the context = the context means they weren't abusive = the context justifies actions that would otherwise be characterized as abusive = I wasn't actually abused = child doesn't speak up /avoids potential help/remains in the unsafe situation.
These are called justificative thoughts! And of course, we get similar thoughts in bystanders who know there's a lot of context going on, know the abuser personally etc. (They also work with intimate partner violence and even murder!) Examples include the all time famous "but he loves me!", "it's not what it looks like, she was only trying to keep me safe", "but what if I'm not stern enough and he grows up and become a criminal? He'll get hurt worse in prison, I'm protecting him!" "He can't possibly be an abuser, he's so kind! He was so sweet when he supported me after my mother died!"
The thing with the "you know I'm only doing this to protect you" line is we often know it as a very vicious manipulation technique. But it's not always the case! It's not necessarily a lie. Punitive abuse isn't (necessarily) practiced for the pleasure of hurting the child, it's a parent trying to raise their child and believing that this is the best way to teach them. That's why it's so important to acknowledge that good intentions in abuse exist and they don't justify it! Whether or not someone is lying to you, manipulating you or not when telling you this isn't what matters most: it's that right now, they feel hurting you is an acceptable way to get to that result, and it's still abusive, and you don't have to accept it just because they mean well.
So yeah, I'm pissed off when dc does exactly that, brushes Bruce being abusive aside and justifies it time and time again instead of addressing the abuse. I think the reason I personally want abusive Batman rather than a huge retcon is that a hero, someone who does so much good and tries and fights so hard to protect what he loves, someone like that failing so bad at parenting and then learning and becoming better, would have been revolutionary growing up. Still would be today, honestly. We need to humanize abuse, because we're gonna feel empathy towards abusers whether we like it or not and we have to choose if we avoid the discomfort it causes by using that empathy to justify not acknowledging the abuse, or treat abusers as human people that are capable of learning, that are sensitive to context (internal and external) and that can be, on many other fronts, perfectly good people. Instead, dc feeds us heaps of justificative thoughts like it's their personal mission because THEY have the same thoughts and don't want to contend with batman being "a dirty evil abuser" but they also love their edginess and shock value too much to stop writing conflict the only way they know how. And like, I know they're not gonna address it the way I want them to but then at least stop doing it- straight up stop portraying batman as abusive and justifying past abusive actions - and bury it under enough new, better batman/batfam stories that we can put this behind us as some kind of "edgy batman dark age". At this point that's all I'm asking, my expectations are so low but come on. I'm so tired.
The thing is that DC’s consistent choice to have Jason Todd blame himself for his own murder comes across less as maturity (the intent) and more like his self-esteem is so far down the toilet it’s been filtered through the Gotham water treatment facility and is currently being sprayed over Wayne Manor’s lawn.
#btw abuse implies taking advantage of a relationship/power dynamic#enemy =/= abuser#for example some dc writers are my enemies#meanwhile bruce can be abusive to his children without being their enemy#dc critical#bruce wayne#batman#child abuse
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If Dev ever does get redeemed in season 2 (PLEASE WATCH FAIRLY ODD PARENTS A NEW WISH WHEN IT DROPS ON NETFLIX NOVEMBER 14), I NEED to see Jasmine and Dev interact as friends 😭 We know how he feels about Winn (he thinks they’re really cool) and we DEFINITELY knows how he feels about Hazel 💀 but I don’t really think we got any interactions or like any mentions about how he feels about her in like any episode besides maybe him introducing Hazel to everyone?? I could be missing something and if I am please correct me!
In my personal opinion, I feel they’d be gossip besties?? I could definitely be reading into Jasmine’s character wrong and if I am, I apologize but I desperately need interactions with them 💔 they remind me of that one Henry Danger Musical song 😭 I think it’s called You’ll Never Believe What Happened (I’ll copy and paste the lyrics to match them and the situation)
Dev: Sorry it took me so—
Jasmine: Ooh, Dev, you'll never believe what happened!
Dev: No, I know.
Jasmine: There's a musical curse over Dimmadelphia!
Dev: Yeah, I know.
Jasmine: And you'll never believe who did it!
Dev: Irep? (I couldn’t think of a better replacement 😭)
Jasmine: Irep!
Dev: Yeah, I know.
Jasmine: Ooh, Dev, you'll never believe how he did it!
Dev: The speakers.
Jasmine: He took control of the speakers.
Dev: Yeah, I know.
Dev & Jasmine: And then put out a weird kind of frequency and now we have to sing!
Dev: Jasmine!
Jasmine: Yeah?
Dev: Thanks for filling me in.
Jasmine: Sure!
They also remind me of the smartphone hour if we’re going the gossip bestie route:
Jasmine: O-M-G Dev, answer me! Woah, wait until I tell you what I heard! It's too fucked to type. This shit is ripe! Call back, I'll yell you every word.
Dev: Jasmine Tran calling, Jasmine Tran calling, Jasmine Tran calling. Hey!
Jasmine: Oh my God, oh my God, okay so, at the end of last night's party, very end of last night's party, Did you see Rich? (I couldn’t think of a replacement ☹️)
Dev: Oh, I saw Rich.
Jasmine: So he's behaving hazy like a tweakin' junkie, flailing crazy like a freakin' monkey!
Dev: He's gotta learn to handle his high, shouldn't drink so much for a small guy.
Jasmine: Right, but, he wasn't drunk.
Dev: The hell you say, Jasmine?
Jasmine: Yo, he wasn't drunk!
Dev: The hell you say, Jasmine?
Jasmine: No! Because I heard from Whispers Fred (I tried to think of a good replacement), that Rich had barely touched a drop. Which means that you can't blame the things he did on alcohol. It's just so terrible, I don't want to relive it all! But do you want me to tell you?
Dev: Spit it out! Spit it out!
Jasmine: You really want me to tell you?
Dev: Spit it out! Spit it out!
Jasmine: I'll tell you 'cause you are my closest friend!
Dev: No I'm not.
Jasmine: Yeah, I know. But here's what happened at the party's end. Rich set a fire and he burned down the house! Woah! Rich set a fire and he burned down the house! Ohh, I thought I was dreamin', everybody was screamin', when Rich set a fire and he burned down the house! When Rich set a fire and he burned down the house!
Sorry for another very long post but thank you so much for reading <3 I hope you have a great day or night!
#fop a new wish#fopanw#dev dimmadome#jasmine tran#greenlightfopanws2#song lyrics#I swear guys they’d be best friends trust!!#I’m so desperate for dev interactions#hazel wells#winn harper#mentioned#my first non crossover post yay!!!#dishie posts#musical lyrics#sort of
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Never gonna be over how unutterably pathetic and in dire need of ANY kind of companionship or friendship that doesn't revolve around their band the entirety of dethklok are. I love these horrible idiots who are so devoid of any real connections outside of themselves that they will latch onto anyone unfortunate enough to get too close to any one of them! And GOD help anyone they latch onto!!
#jay talkin#metalocalypse#im thinking about the doubles episode where they just seem genuinely happy to have 'friends'#who arent like. industry people. these men are so starved of any kind of connection#and it takes them four seasons a rock opera and a movie to realise they can find that in each other lmao#also thinking about how quickly any of them bond and become really intense abt anyone in their life#aka: NATHAN TOWARDS ABIGAIL. oh dear poor abigail oh dear#but also toki to damn near anyone and this goes for the entire band tbh as well they all do this at least once#and yeah its mainly cuz 10min eps mean u gotta progress stuff fast#but also holy shit. charles these boys want friends so bad u gotta set em up on playdates or smth#maybe it'd get some of their dumb stupid idiot energy out and they'd be better behaved. well. no they wldnt but... u can dream#i do think theres smth to be said that yeah all of dethklok are cool theyre metal superstars they r good at what they do#theyre also fucking prophesised saviours too and theyre also incredibly dangerous idiots and terrible ppl#but never forget that they are also. so so SO pathetic and isolated and dysfunctional#these men have not lived in the real world in decades and are disconnected and unsocial and spoilt and u can see that this does impact#the way they interact w the world! they need like. anything other than the band in their lives hah. they do need to pal around#im glad they find that in each other eventually!!#i dont want 2 sound like im babying them or infantilising them these r grown asshole idiot men but like. listen these shitheards r lonelyyy#everyone in their lives is like. assigned to be there and is set as beneath them in a class and workbased system#they dont rlly have ppl who r just there cuz they like em. outside of fans. and fans arent rlly a real connection yknow#their only connections come via work networking sex and violence and worship baby!!!! its fucked up!
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shoutout to cassel and lila for SUCKING!!!!! I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!!
#tzu rambles#god i could go on about why theyre terrible for each other in all the ways that make htem end up together#they feed into each others worst habits.#lila liking power over others and cassel being used to ppl taking advantage of him#ive seen ppl who dumb it down to “he likes to be dominated” or whatever#i mean you do you but its pretty clear that its a result of the way his brothers have always treated him#wait yeah he listerally compares them to each other#“i was used to fast anc cruel brothers. and i worshipped her” AUGH#she reminds him of everything hes ever known#and she likes him because he listens to her when nobody else does#and she kind of takes advantage of that and he knows she does#he lets her anyways#its so bad its so good#and like anton is just like philip and barron if not worse#but hes lila's COUSIN. so its different#bc he's more guest than family#and so she doesn't develop the habits cassel does. cassel was born into this#HES the guest#but to lila anton is some guy coming and messing with her friend#so she wants to stand her ground#and that reflects in how they are#i think its interesting that even in rejecting his brothers he still just follows lila around#still on the first book though so we'll see what he does#they make me crazy!!!!!! augh#also his relationship w his mom probably affects this too#like. u have ur mother toying with your emotions to get you to do what she wants. idk ofc ur gonna be a little strange about ppl making+#you do things#also how lila sees herself as older than she is and i think cassel thinks of her thkat way too sometimes#they just suck i hate them
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initially had sol'rys's sexuality blanked while i figure it out, but i think he is bisexual. with a preference for strong personalities.....
#current pt i think he is really heart eyeing lae'zel .#her practicality . her strength . her everything .#him seeing someone also taught to be abrasive and utilitarian : <3 perfect . <3#he would be heart eyeing astarion .#if he didn't think that astarion's cruelty or interest in tadpoles wasn't something that would potentially ruin *all of them .*#he is so practical to the point that he thinks astarion's responses seem unnecessary .#also he is staring at astarion entertaining raphael like .#you're just gonna be another soul to the pile he's fucked over . you know that right ?#i think part of him (sol'rys) kind of means well .#but he has a terrible way of saying it .#shadowheart called him blunt to his face and like . yeah . he thinks that's a good thing .#him and lae'zel discovering tenderness the first time ... in each other ?? idk in game it's .. 🥺🥺🥺
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Matthew MacFayden’s Darcy is a fascinating thing to unpack because I don’t believe it succeeds as a performance of Darcy or even as a performance in general (it kind of can't) but there are layers to it and it's not simple.
#the layers are: he’s a good actor. it’s a bad script.#okay simple enough but then it’s a bad script with several lines ripped directly FROM ONE OF THE GREATEST NOVELISTS OF ALL TIME#and so for a second he’s a good actor saying a great line and tbh it works in flashes#LOVE when he asks Caroline if he can defer her raptures til his next letter#Darcy dryness IN THE ROOM WITH US FOR A MOMENT#but then he’s also forced to stand up too quick and say ‘she’s upstairs’ in response to Lizzy asking about Jane#And it’s just. Giving Blurting? And I know he’s supposed to be flustered but it’s so not Darcy so it’s ooc and also jarring#and then there's his terrible haircut and the ill-fitting clothes and the strange blocking and direction#which add their own layers of bad#but then he ISN'T a bad actor and he's not not responding to Keira's beauty#there are moments where it's like.... yeah! that's a man who knows how to look at a woman!#he is not not connected to her. i know what people mean when they say they feel it#there's an energy! some glances! some warmth!#but then there's the thing where it's like. a) i don't think that he's the right choice for Darcy even in a better script#b) the script doesn't understand and has no interest in Darcy's true character and goes for the shy puppy/awkward/tumblr take on him#so both of those things are happening at once!!!!!!!!#and yeah it's just kind of so emblematic of the movie as a whole#not all the ingredients are bad but they are not well utilized at all#and also sometimes they are the wrong (good) ingredient#anyway do not mean to hurt any feelings or start any discourse i just am always trying to explain this to myself#and i don't think i've ever come so close tbh!!!!!#this was in my drafts from last night so i thought i would share it now#because I've always felt how much is wrong and how much is wrong as an Austen adaptation and yet there are glances#(that one gifset of them at Pemberley where they're talking about her playing and he's like 'no i said quite well')#(and she smiles and then he smiles and the light is golden and it's !!!!!)#but then there are moments that don't even work by that isolated measure!!!!#that just feel so weird and wrong!!!!! again. even by a sentimental measure#maybe even ESPECIALLY by a sentimental measure#so i'm always trying to unpack it more clearly (joe wright the clear villain being one takeaway) thank you for listening etc. more at 11.#2005 liveblog
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okay but I am genuinely so unwell about numbers and dates and ages and time and years etc. so I'm blaming all my bad luck on the number 23
#got so paranoid about it that i didn't talk to anyone for the last few weeks and i haven't applied for a job and i'm honestly not doing#anything until i'm safely 24#idk what 24's gonna be like but it's got a 4 in it so that's a good sign#but then again 14 had a 4 in it and that was a terrible age#but tbf it was a 4 + a 10 which is like. my fav number and my least fav number. so the year just malfunctioned#first 6 months good second 6 months bad#so 24 can fit two 10s but they're not as obvious. but it's a multiple of 4 so i trust it a bit more#4 x 6. idk my feelings on 6 but it's never really done anything too bad to me so yeah. 24 is the safe zone#i blame everything on the number 23 and also my friend's awful ex girlfriend#OKAY SO LIKE i was reading coronation street youtube comments the other day#and people were talking about how characters like terry duckworth and mike baldwin were kind of prats before but then they#had some significantly bad experience and after that they became Absolute prats#like basically what caused their villain origin stories#and i was like oh my god am i gonna turn out like them?? is my friend's ex girlfriend responsible for my villain arc??#and i have felt myself becoming more negative and unhappy and cynical and bitter over the past few months#and i was like fuckkkkkk no i can't enter my mike baldwin terry duckworth era#bc before whenever a remotely bad thing happened i would just disappear and go back to telling myself there is nothing good with the world#so like for every job i never got and for every time i put something in the group chat and no one replied and every time i made something#and no one cared about it i would just sink deeper into some hole of hatred at the world#i mean. the rsd. like I'd still react to stuff in that way when i was younger and happier but at least back then I'd also#wave at cool clouds and smile at people in public and be like ''fuck i woke up too early and now i Have to take a photo of the sunrise''#but now i don't do any of that I'm just some bitter cynical bitch who hates everything#so yeah. my 2024 resolution was to reclaim the whimsy i lost at the end of 2022. and so far it's not really going well but at least I'm not#23 anymore#ramble
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Started listening to the podcast TANIS and thoroughly enjoying it, went to see if there’s a tumblr tag presence and although it appears to be a small fandom I’m glad we all seem to agree on a few things:
the writing is a lil heavy handed, esp in dialogue, and not always that great (but we enjoy it anyway)
hell yeah dark mystery vibes dark mystery vibes dark mystery vibes
Geoff van Sant wants to fuck (and Nic is COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS)
#nic for supposedly being a good detective you’re kind of a moron#not just in the geoff flirting respect but in a lot of ways tbqh#just finished ep 110 and in this one episode alone we have at least three completely moronic things he does#i get it it’s supposed to be ‘real’ so the characters make mistakes but DONT TAKE A CUPPA FROM THE CULT YOU KNOW IS DRUGGING PEOPLE#i mean that’s just. come on.#like I don’t think the writing is terrible I saw several posts dragging it and don’t get me wrong it’s not GREAT#but it’s not that bad I mean I got sucked in to this podcast pretty well#but there are definitely points where I’m just like… shaking my head#as a listener but ESPECIALLY as a writer#i think I’ve unintentionally explained away some of it ie the dialogue in particular by just envisioning Nic Silver as a Hes Just Like That#also a Total Moron (affectionate) but listen this man is not neurotypical no way#anyway. DARK MYSTERY SPOOKY STUFF HELL YEAH#tanis podcast#nic silver#geoff van sant#idk if they have tags. but there they are#Cassie has too many tags#Cassie rambles
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yurikuma arashi is probably ikuhara's weakest work imo but i HAVE to give it credit for slapping the word yuri onto fucking everything
#im not saying its terrible btw its just. well its no utena or sarazanmai. but it does have a framed photo that says Yuri Friends#i too am ''yuri friends''#ik it means lily too ofc but something tells me they didnt mean it in the lily way idk#i think my biggest gripe w yurikuma though was the oversexualization. and ofc i KNOW that it was kind of the point#in some respects at least#but i think there can still be ways of portraying than in a more tactful way#like utena's approach was better i think. it didnt have to be like super in your face but still made it absolutely devastating#while in yurikuma's case its honestly hard to differentiate it from just actual fanservice. it doesnt seem distinct from it at all#so i feel like it couldve been more polished... less gauche?#i get what they were going for yeah but i also dont think you can brush of critique of it w just ''well its on purpose'' yknow?#maybe if they had more time to flesh it out it couldve worked. yurikuma felt a bit limited w its 12 episode run#unlike sarazanmai which absolutely nailed it w a short run#but i do think the payoff at the end was good. like the story of the forest girl and the sky girl (or something) breaking the barrier#that was pretty cool like it had some real stuff going for it too so its like. not unsalvageable lol
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why write something if nobody else is gonna care about it anyway????
i get to experience it myself in my head perfectly. rotate the scene like a cow, yknow? rewind and rewrite on a whim. the only reason i can see to write something down is to share it, but if nobody's gonna care, then it's just a waste of time
#same with learning to art#i have all these ideas that i do want to get out#not necessarily because they need to come out. but because i look at it and think#'oh. yeah. i want people to see this'#maybe im busted because i dont seem to have the same reasons for creating people do?#or maybe i ultimately do have the same reasons and i want to create for the sake of it#because when i'm on. i am *so* on#it feels good#but i'm not on all that much anymore#i know i have a tendency to worry about the final product and beyond rather than just enjoying the journey#....but im the kind of person who needs a destination or a goal in mind#i need a final product right?#i mean. the journey means nothing if you dont get to where you're meant to be going. right?#doesnt it??#im aimless enough as it is. it's a terrible feeling#but being so attached to the end result is also terrible. so i dont know man#creativity#to the void with love
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"I know JK Rowing is a terrible person but her books are so good-"
You sure about that?
I mean, just for a start, have you taken a good look at her fantasy creatures lately? A whole bunch of them are straight-up based on malicious and dehumanizing stereotypes about actual people.
Remember the werewolves? And being a werewolf was made into a kind of metaphor for having AIDS?
And you know how AIDS was first associated with gay men? And how conservatives back in the day were claiming gay men were preying on children in order to convert them to gayness?
Remember how Fenrir Greyback preyed on children in particular? Yeah, she put that subtext in there. She was an adult in the 90's. She knew damn well what she was doing.
Remember the house elves? Remember how most of them loved to serve and needed to have a home and a master or else they just wouldn't know what to do with themselves?
Did you know that's literally what slavers in the American South said about the Black people they kept enslaved? Go look up the happy slave myth.
Do I even need to get into the goblins and the antisemitic tropes they're based on? No, folkloric goblins were not gold-hoarding bankers waiting for their chance to stab humanity in the back.
"But the characters are so good!"
Are you kidding me?
Most of her characters are pretty one-dimensional, including Harry. Her idea of making a morally complicated character is giving a tragic past to a bully. Numerous characters are little more than stereotypes. (Looking at Fleur right now.) Literally anybody, including you, can easily make dozens of characters just as good, if not better. (It doesn't exactly take a lot of character designing skill to go, "hey, actually, having a sad backstory doesn't make it okay to bully children" or "hey, maybe I should not base a character on the first stereotype that pops into my head.")
"But the rest of the worldbuilding!"
Sorry, but her worldbuilding is just as basic as her characters. Magical castles and secret passages are stock tropes. Magical people who keep their true nature secret from humanity is the premise of pretty much every White Wolf TTRPG. Most of her fantasy creatures are just common European fairy tale and folklore creatures with shitty stereotypes projected onto them.
I'm not saying "basic worldbuilding bad." I'm saying, you could do just as good, if not better, with minimal effort.
Also there's her magical bioessentialism, where only Harry's abusive blood relatives could provide him with supernatural protection from Voldemort. Rowling thus effectively declared that non-biological family isn't quite real family, and that abusive biofamily can give you some essential thing that a loving, supportive family that isn't related to you just can't.
The Hogwarts houses are one of the most insidious elements of her worldbuilding. The idea of being sorted gives you a little dopamine hit because wow now you have a li'l niche where you belong!
But the actual function of the houses and sorting system and the House Cup is teaching children to see each other as rivals, and ensure that the most toxic views of the upper class get passed on to every new batch of kids sorted into Slytherin.
Hogwarts effectively prepares children for a dystopia where magic serves to distract its citizens from how nightmarishly awful it is. Economic inequality is so bad that people like Arthur and Molly Weasley can barely afford to put their kids through school, casual sadism is just an accepted norm in everyday society, and non-humans are second class citizens. Rowling sorta acts like she thinks this is a bad thing with certain lines she gave to Dumbledore, but in the end, her special boy protagonist becomes an auror; IE, a defender of the status quo. So.
If you've never seen it, Lily Simpson's video goes into even more detail on how the worldbuilding of Harry Potter is actually incredibly fucked up, and how it betrays small-minded attitudes on Rowling's part. There's no separating the art from this artist, because Rowling's rotten values pour out of nearly every page.
youtube
Yes, there are many things in Harry Potter that evoke feelings and inspire people, but there's absolutely nothing in it that this series has a monopoly on. You can find those same experiences in much, much better media.
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Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows
In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.
If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.
So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.
I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?
However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.
Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)
And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.
Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.
It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.
Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?
While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:
She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.
You see where I'm going with this.
When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:
And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD
When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.
MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS
No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.
And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:
Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!
The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.
And, uh
Yeah.
I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.
But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.
Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:
But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.
There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.
After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:
"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.
Kind of like another bird in this show:
#blue eye samurai#mizu#akemi#kinuyo#bes#women are birds okay they are BIRDS#the let me die line is so SCARY AND SAD like a part of Mizu wants death but she cant? she doesnt know how?? excuse you show???#when all these other delicate birds are dying all around her#akemis character gets more and more gutwrenching upon subsequent rewatches because whenever she says her life is in danger#NO ONE BELIEVES HER - certainly not other women#because shes rich and pampered and that means shes safe and is worrying about nothing right? right?????#and it turns out that all of akemis instincts were right and she was in danger the ENTIRE TIME#also I need to make a post just for kinuyo because I am sad
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