#I mean that with my whole heart it was so fun and such a fucking party

[koobiie]

bestowing my highest honor as an artist to ffxv (drawing the characters in fun outfits)

thoughts under the cut

RREAAAGHHHH SO EXCITED TO BE DONE WITH THIS!!!!! it took me forevarrrr but i soldiered through as an act of love. now excuse me. yap time

OKAY SO the concept behind this was originally specific fashion subcultures for everyone!l ike noct emo ignis dark academia etc. but then decided i didnt want to pigeonhole it all and just freestyled outfits i thought would look nice on everyone

noct - i do think noct would still be emo-ish but also opt for comfy baggy stuff a lot. something you could just fall asleep in on the spot. note the details of bass pro shop shirt (of course) XV necklace, little moon + stars accents, carbuncle + fish keychains. i also wanted his metal band logo shirt to spell LUCIS but i forgor some letters but its not very readable anyways

ignis - ignit ooohghh ignos ignaurs. sorry i made him serve so much cunt it will happen again. i drew him first cause that kind of inspired this whole thing i love him so bad if i didnt draw it id explode. not much detail to note except his collar pins are like his double blade thingies

luna - lunaaa the concept was “clean girl aesthetic” idk if that happened but im actually really happy with how it came out! might be my favorite of the bunch just because she looks so pretty and happy. your honor she should have been able to just be a normal girl and just. chill

prompto - prompotoooo i had trouble picking his vibe!!! my first thought was techwear?? because weeheeeehee he loves tech and well... you know... but then i realized i didnt really like the look of anything i saw + it was so bulky and dark and serious for him! ending up going with some more youthful and baggy. i was considering something more loud and colorful but ended up not going with it. i feel like in canon he'd be too nervous to have such a flashy fit and would want to just look "cool" to fit in with the boys lol. itty bitty details here - chocobo keychain, pompompurin and bi miku buttons, and his lanyard is kings knight themed! i also thought it was funny to write LUCIS on his shirt like you know those shirts that just say BROOKLYN or TOKYO or SAN FRANCISCO and thats it. thats what its like

gladio - okay i know this is going to sound like a lie but im not horny for gladio like at all, hes my least favorite, i think he's just alright. but also i KNOW in my heart of hearts that he would LOVE being a leather daddy and so i had to make it happen. main detail to note here is that his tank top has the motifs of a cup noodle! i didnt know what else to add cause you know.. hes the cup noodle guy.. but also i didnt want it to be so in your face about it with a big as logo so kept it subtle!

(side note the leather daddy gave me an idea for a post where its like noct and prom go to a gay bar all nervous but then they run into gladio and its like "p: GLADIO YOURE GAY?" "n: nevermind that PLEASE dont tell ignis we snuck out" and then ignis walks up and theyre all like WHAT THE FUCK!!!! caption would be "the gang finds out theyre all bisexual." probably wont draw it but i think its very funny lol)

iris - iris my sweetheart.... definitely leaned into the scene vibes here and also that one image of the blonde emo anime girl. details here - of course the moogle big ass backpack and keychain (can you tell i love keychains), but also her buttons are an iris (the flower) and also a crown with hearts (haha symbolism)

anyways oh god i didnt mean to write an essay down here. usually i keep this in the tags but this time i just had Too Much To Say. can you tell i put a lot of thought and love into this . anwyays. *walks off into the sunset and fuckig dies*

[i-am-baechu]

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Title: Clumsy  

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Paring: Teacher! Seokjin x Teacher! Reader

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Rating: Explicit (18+)

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Summary: ‘Clumsy 'cause I'm fallin' in love’. 

Park Y/N has always been clumsy and it gets worse when she has a crush. The first time meeting Kim Seokjin wasn’t the best and her world came crashing down when she saw him laughing to himself after her spill. To make things even worse, everyone knows that she likes him except for him. Why can’t she win in relationships? 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Genre: Fluff, romance, two idiots in love, comedy, angst, and smut

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Playlist: Clumsy - Fergie 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Authors note: This isn’t a serious story. It’s very lighthearted and fun : ). I was also thinking about making drabbles for this story! Let me know if you would like because I have some ideas. 

“Y/N, you should be wrapped up in bubble wrap.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair as she stared up at the ceiling, “You're not helping me.” 

Her best friend, Kim Mingyu, let out a laugh and shrugged his shoulders, “I never said I was going to help you.” 

Y/N let out a groan and sat back up in her chair, “It wasn’t that embarrassing...” 

Mingyu tossed a chip into his mouth as he raised his eyebrow, “You knocked down a whole shelf in his classroom and then you broke his door when you tried to flee the scene. I think that's pretty embarrassing.” 

She crumbled up a piece of paper and tossed it at Mingyu’s head as she pouted, “Your so fucking annoying.”

“You just need confidence to be in the same room as him.” 

“It’s not that easy...” 

Park Y/N is clumsy, there’s no getting around that. From the moment she could walk, her parents knew she would cause heart attacks. Not from being pretty but from worrying them to the point their heart gives out. There were times when she wished she was like her older sister, Park Umiko and maybe then Kim Seokjin could fall in love with her. Seokjin would fall in love with someone who was a world-class ballerina and not a clumsy teacher. Umiko was elegant and she had this aura that brought people in. Umiko never tripped or broke something when she saw her crush, if anything they were tripping to get to her first. 

Seokjin has been her crush for the past two years and it’s embarrassing. For starters, she’s twenty-six. Who has crushes when you're almost thirty? The second reason is, everyone knows she likes him. When she says everyone, she means everyone. All the students talk about it in the hallways and some even have bets when the teacher is going to confess. If she could, she would die but she doesn’t have good health insurance so...staying alive it is. 

Mingyu frowned at her and stood up from the desk he was sitting at. He walked towards her and placed a hand on her shoulder, “Y/N, you want to get dinner? My treat so you can forget this day.” 

Y/N looked up at him and nodded his head, “Can we get ramen with those special eggs?”

“Yes and yes you can get a beer.” 

Y/N stood up as fast as she could and grabbed her bag, “Make it two beers.” 

Mingyu rolled his eyes and nodded his head, “Whatever you want.” 

Y/N nodded her head at this, “Let me drink to forget.”

“You're such a drama queen.” 

They walked out of the classroom and she glared at Mingyu, “No, I’m not.” 

Y/N walked off but Mingyu rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall, “Forgetting something?”

Y/N stopped halfway in the hall and let out a groan. She walked back and pointed at Mingyu, “Shut up.” She closed her door and locked it up with a pout. This was the fourth time this week that she forgot to lock up her classroom. It’s Tuesday. She turned towards Mingyu with a glare, “I told you to shut up.” 

“I didn’t even say anything.”

“Your face says enough.” 

They walked out of the school and went to the teacher parking lot. Along the way, Mingyu was making fun of her and the events that happened that day. She unlocked her car but stopped when she saw Seokjin getting into his car. The way he got into his car and still looked good needed to be studied. She didn’t understand how someone could be so handsome and cute at the same time. She shook her head and started walking but froze when she heard her name. 

She slowly turned around and saw Seokjin giving her a soft smile from his window, “Have a good night! See you in the morning!” 

She gave him a small wave and blinked her eyes, “Y-Yeah, se-see you in the morning.” 

She turned around to walk to her car but tripped on her shoelaces causing her to fall face first. Mingyu stood in the back and watched all this with an amused look. He sighed and shook his head. He went towards Y/N and helped her up, “So about the bubble wrap.”

“Mingyu, I will run you over with my car.” 

“If you can walk to your car without tripping then I’ll be scared.” 

She bit her lip and looked past Mingyu’s shoulder to see that Seokjin was already gone. She let out a small breath and placed her hand on top of her chest, “Thank god he didn’t see that.”

Mingyu patted the top of her head, “Let’s get you those beers to erase the embarrassment.” 

She smacked his hand away and crossed her arms over her chest, “Is ​​Seungcheol going to be there?”

Mingyu raised his eyebrow as he opened the car door for her, “Yeahhh....why?”

“I’m going to tell him that you were messing with me.”

“O-Oi!” 

The crush on Kim Seokjin happened so fast that it made scientists confused. Y/N had crushes and past relationships but she never felt this way towards someone. Every time she saw Seokjin smile the world would stop and it was just them. It was the story that parents would read to their children for bedtime (ignoring the fact that she wasn’t with him but you get the point). 

Two years of her constantly running away from him was now causing problems in her personal life. Her mother (bless her heart), was worried for her. So like any worried mother, you set up blind dates with your friend's son. Of course, Y/N entertained her mother by going on these dates but Y/N would always find a way to leave early (she’s really good at lying). “My friend is having an emergency, I need to check up on her. It was nice meeting you though.” “My roommate had to take my dog to the vet because something happened. I have to go.” (She didn’t have a roommate nor a dog). 

Her ex-boyfriend and close friend, Lim Jaebeom, has told her so many times to open her world up but she couldn’t. She fell for Seokjin hard and she was too stubborn to change her mind. All the guys that her mother set her up with, they weren’t bad but they weren’t Seokjin. It wasn’t the math teacher who could explain algebra to anyone or the teacher who sometimes took over the PE class. It wasn’t Seokjin and that’s what made them bad. The day she met Kim Seokjin was the day that was her downfall. 

Y/N sat in the meeting room typing away on her laptop for her next class. She heard the chair next to her and looked away from the screen to see, Jung Hoseok giving her a soft smile. Hoseok was her work friend and among all the teachers, she liked him the best. He was the dance teacher but on top of that, he was the earth science teacher. Two subjects that Y/N will never understand. 

“Did you hear?”

Y/N tilted her head at Hoseok with a confused look, “Noo....?”

“Since Mr. Lee retired, we’re getting a new math teacher. It’s their first day today.”

“Oh? It’s already a month into the new school year, isn’t it kind of late?”

Hoseok shrugged his shoulders and leaned back in the chair, “Yeah but Namjoon said he needed a teacher fast and he was the best teacher he interviewed.” 

“I hope he isn’t like Mr. Lee.” 

Hoseok let out a small laugh, “It was fun hearing his conspiracies about the world.”

Y/N shook her head at this and looked back at her laptop, “He was telling the students that the moon landing never happened and how Europe is made up.”

“To be fair, England isn’t real.”   

Y/N rolled her eyes and let out a small laugh, “Hoseok, I can’t with you.” 

“It’s true.”

Y/N finished the last sentence and smiled to herself, “All done. Do you want some coffee? I’m gonna grab some.”

Hoseok nodded his head, “Pleaseee~.”

The principal always made sure the staff was taken care of with goodies from his sister’s bakery. This time Namjoon brought coffee and strawberry shortcake. She poured the coffee and when she turned around she saw the new teacher walk in. He was in a simple white t-shirt and glasses and she glanced down at his plump lips. He was handsome. So handsome that it made her question. Why the hell is he a teacher? He should be an actor or a K-pop idol. She turned back around and felt her face get hot. She was going to introduce herself and make it known that she was cool. He looked like he liked cool girls. 

She turned around but didn’t notice her foot was on top of the tablecloth. She fell on the floor with the cake landing on her head. She rubbed her ankle and opened her eyes to see Seokjin laughing with the other math teacher, Suan Choi. She felt her whole body get hot and she went to get up but slipped on the frosting making her fall back down. Hoseok quickly made his way to her and gave her a concerned look, “Are you okay?” 

No, she was not okay nor will she ever be okay, “I-I’m okay.”

Hoseok helped her up and gave her his signature smile, “I’ll give you a 10/10 for that landing.” 

She took some frosting and put it on his face, “Shut up.” 

“Y/N, did you hear me?”

She turned her head to see Mingyu snapping his fingers in her face. She grabbed his wrist and twisted it, “I’m not a dog.”

“H-Hey, I’m sorry.”

She let go of his wrist and leaned back on his couch, “What did you say?” 

He rubbed his wrist and pouted, “You’re mean. I asked if you were ready to go on that date tomorrow?” 

She scoffed at this and took a sip of her beer, “No, my mom said this one is a good one.” 

He raised his eyebrow and rubbed her shoulder gently, “You should tell her that you don’t want this.” 

“I can’t say no to her. I hate seeing her sad.” 

Mingyu frowned, “What about you being sad?”

“I’m not sad...I get free food.”  

Choi ​​Seungcheol walked in and glanced at Y/n with a worried look. He dried his hair off with his towel and sat next to her, “Should you be drinking more? You have work tomorrow. You had two beers at the restaurant.” 

She pouted at ​​Seungcheol and shook her head, “This is my last one and I'll go to bed.” 

​​Seungcheol sighed and shook his head, “Y/N, you need to take better care of yourself.”

“It’s not my fault my embarrassment is making me drink.” 

Mingyu let out a small laugh and shook his head, “That’s not how it works.” 

​​Seungcheol glared at Mingyu (who immediately stopped laughing) and gave Y/N a gentle smile, “It’s going to be okay. Don’t think too much of it.” 

Y/N placed her beer on the coffee table and nodded her head, “I-I just don’t know what to do Cheoooolll!” She wrapped her arms around his waist and he sighed. He gently rubbed her back as she cried into his chest, “It’s okay, Y/N. Let’s get you in bed.”

Mingyu stood up and grabbed her slippers, “You can sleep in my bed.” 

Y/N looked at Mingyu and she gave him a tearful smile, “Really? I-I feel bad taking your bed.” 

“I can share a bed with ​​Seungcheol. It’s okay.”

​​Seungcheol picked Y/N up with ease and nodded his head, “Just get some sleep. I’ll have water and pills ready for you in the morning.”

“You guys are my best friends. I love you guys so much.”

“Yes, we know.” 

They walked into the hallway and ​​Seungcheol placed Y/N on the bed. He put the blanket on top of her and smiled at her, “Hopefully tomorrow is a better day, Y/N.”

She glanced at ​​Seungcheol and nodded her head, “I-to think that.” 

​​Seungcheol sighed and got up from the bed. He glanced at Mingyu, “We need to help her with this problem. She can’t keep drinking her embarrassment away.” 

“I know but I don’t know what more we can do.” 

“We’ll figure it out. Let’s go to bed.” 

The next morning, Y/N woke up to her alarm blasting in her ear. She frowned and glanced at the time. She locked her phone and looked up at the ceiling, Another day to embarrass myself. She groaned when the second alarm started and she slowly sat up, “I’m up.” 

She slipped her feet into her slippers and dragged herself into the living room. Walking into the living room, she saw Mingyu cooking breakfast and ​​Seungcheol setting the table, “Good morning...”

​​Seungcheol turned towards her and smiled, “Your water is on the table with your pills.” 

“Thank you...sorry for this happening again.”

​​Seungcheol shook his head and pulled the chair for her, “I’m just happy you went to sleep and were safe. Now sit.” 

The morning went on like normal and ​​Seungcheol drove Y/N to work this time. He was talking to her about Jaebeom and how he was planning on visiting soon. Y/N was surprised to hear this and looked at ​​Seungcheol, “He didn’t tell me he was coming...”

“He probably wanted to surprise you. When he comes, just act shocked so I won’t get in trouble.” 

She saluted him and nodded her head, “Whatever you say.”

He pulled in and smiled at her, “I’ll be picking you up. Mingyu pulled your car into the garage so don’t worry about it.” 

Y/N nodded her head and gathered all her bags, “Thank you~. I’ll see you tonight.” 

“Be careful today. Please.” 

She pouted and nodded her head, “Yes Dad.” 

​​Seungcheol got out of the car and opened her door. He gave her a smile, “See you tonight.” 

She waved goodbye to him and walked towards the entrance of the school. She glanced up at the window and saw Seokjin talking to Suan. She watched Suan grab Seokjin’s arm, laughing at something he said. She frowned at this and shook her head. No negative thoughts. It’s too early. She walked into the building and heard her name. She turned around and smiled, “Good morning, Hoseok.”

“Good morning~. I was going to ask if you wanted to get coffee with me real quick before school starts.” 

Y/N thought about it and shrugged her shoulders, “Sure, let me drop my things off in my class.”

“Let me grab that bag to make things easier.” 

“Thanks.” 

The two walked back outside talking about their lessons for the day. Unaware of eyes on their backs. 

Kim Seokjin was born into a family filled with doctors. It was a shock to everyone when he wanted to become a teacher. His parents supported him and even offered to pay for his college but he refused. He wanted to achieve everything on his own. Finding a job in Korea was hard, especially for teachers. Every school he went to was too uptight and it didn’t feel right. Getting accepted to Map of Soul Academy was purely by chance. He remembers the day when he got the call from Namjoon.

Seokjin was on his couch watching the K-drama on TV. Park Jimin entered the room and raised his eyebrow, “It’s noon on a Monday. Why are you here?” 

Seokjin pouted and grabbed his ice cream from the coffee table, “I have nowhere to be.”

Jimin sighed and frowned at his roommate, “I’m going to guess you didn’t get the callback.” 

“Very good.” 

Seokjin looked up at the ceiling and sighed, “Maybe becoming a teacher was stupid. I should’ve become a doctor.”

Jimin shook his head and sat on the couch next to Seokjin, “Don’t say that Jin. This is what you wanted to do. Don’t give up.” 

“That’s easy for you to say. You have a job.”

Jimin scoffed at this, “Dude, I hate my job. At least you're trying to use your degree.”

Before Seokjin could say anything, his phone started ringing. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and he straightened up. He placed the ice cream in Jimin’s lap and picked up the phone, “Hello this is Kim Seokjin.”

“Hey, Jin. It’s Namjoon. I don’t if you remember me from college.” 

“Oh, I do. We had Biology together.” 

Seokjin heard a sigh of relief and he glanced at Jimin. Jimin raised his eyebrow and mouthed, “What’s going on?”. Making Seokjin shrug his shoulders, “Seokjin, would you like to have an interview today for a math teacher position here at Map of Soul Academy?” 

Seokjin stood up and nodded his head, “Yeah, I would love to have that interview.” 

“Is three o'clock okay?” 

“Yes, I’ll see you then.” 

“See you then, thank you again.” 

Seokjin turned towards Jimin and gave him a proud smile, “I’m putting that degree to work today.”

“You should wash your face. You have chocolate on your face.” 

He was forever grateful to Namjoon for giving him this job. Map of Soul Academy was a unique school. Unlike other schools, Map of Soul has four schools within one campus. Each school was based on different subjects, media, science, business, and medicine. He was hired into the media school and met unique teachers. It was clear that the media school was more lively than the other schools. Hoseok being the energetic earth science teacher and Kim Taehyung, the relaxed art teacher who only shows excitement towards art. It was rather different from what he expected. 

There was also L/N Y/N, the clumsy history teacher that brought smiles all around campus. It was clear that Y/N was popular with all the students. She is compassionate and fun to be around with but he wouldn’t know this because she always ran away from him. Ever since he first met her, he was intrigued by her. She wasn’t like any women he met, which is a good thing. 

“Ms. L/N, what can I do to help you?” Seokjin watched Y/N enter his classroom with papers in her hands, hiding her face. He tilted his head at her and frowned, “Are you okay?” 

Y/N let out a small cough and nodded her head. She handed him the papers but didn’t make eye contact with him. Before he could ask what the papers were, she ran away. It was obvious that her eyes were closed because she ran straight into the wall making his shelves fall down. He stood up from his desk with a worried look, “Ms. L/N, are you okay?”

She rubbed her forehead and ran towards the door. They made quick eye contact and she slammed the door close which caused the door to fall from the hinges. He blinked his eyes and let out a small laugh, “Cute.”

After fixing his classroom, he went to his car to end his long day. He got into his car but before he could leave the parking lot, he saw Y/N looking at him with wide eyes. He gave her a soft smile and popped his head out of the window and gave her a small wave, “Have a good night! See you in the morning!” 

She gave him a small wave and blinked her eyes, “Y-Yeah, se-see you in the morning.” 

He smiled to himself and watched her trip on her shoelaces. He went to unbuckle his seatbelt but saw a tall man help her up. He frowned at this, it wasn’t the first time she saw this man with Y/N. He had no idea who he was but it was clear that they were close. He shook his head and drove out of the parking lot. He looked through the mirror and watched the man get into Y/N’s car. He wondered who he was and what he was towards Y/N. 

Seokjin sat at the dinner table as his mother gave him a soft smile, “Did Seok-joong tell you?” 

Seokjin looked up from his rice and glanced at his older brother, “Tell me what?” 

Seok-joong rolled his eyes and set his bowl down, “Mom set me up for a date.”

He glanced at his mother and let out a small laugh, “You did what?”

His mom gave him a frown and nodded her head, “He’s almost forty and he’s single. I’m just trying to help him.”

Seok-joong scoffed at this and shook his head, “You set me up with a twenty-six-year-old. How is that going to help me?” 

“I want you to have someone. I don’t want you to be lonely. Lonely people die faster.” 

Seokjin glanced at his dad and raised his eyebrow, “Dad, did you tell her this?”

His dad shook his head and let out a laugh, “Her fortune-teller told her that one, son. I don’t want to intervene because she’s scared when she’s determined.” 

Seokjin nodded his head at this, “Mom, who is the lucky girl?” 

“Oh, Mrs. L/N’s daughter. You don’t know her but I’ve been told she’s wonderful.” 

Seokjin started coughing on his rice and took a drink of his water with tears in his eyes. He looked at his mother with wide eyes, “L/N!”

“Seokjin, are you okay?”

“Nevermind that, L/N?”

His mother nodded her head and gave him a confused look, “Is that okay?” 

Seokjin let out a small cough and nodded his head, “Yeah....” I’m sure it’s a different L/N. There’s no way it's Y/N.

The next morning, Seokjin went to work like normal. He was walking down the hallway with thoughts running around his mind. What if it’s Y/N? Will Y/N fall for Seok-Joong? It makes sense if she does because he’s a doctor. Who wouldn’t be in love with a doctor? It-

“Jin, are you okay?”

He turned around and saw Suan giving him a concerned look, “W-Why do you ask?” 

“You're gripping your hair tightly and you are muttering.” 

He let go of his hair and let out a small cough, “I’m okay. J-just thinking.”

Suan gave him a small smirk, “Was it about Y/N?”

Seokjin glared at her and rolled his eyes, “Stop talking nonsense.”

Suan let out a small laugh and grabbed his arm, “Every time you think about her, you mutter under your breath. You're so down bad for her, it’s funny.”

Seokjin felt his face get warm and looked at the window with a frown, “I’m not down bad...” He saw Hoseok and Y/N walking off campus and he frowned at this. Why was she always surrounded with other guys? Why was she so likable?  

“Jin, you're going to cause the glass to break if you continue to stare at it.” 

“S-Shut up.” 

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Tonight was another date and Y/N hated it. Her mother told her some details about the date and if she was a normal girl, this would be a dream date. A date with a doctor is like winning the lottery but of course, Y/N didn’t care about the lottery. She was dressed in a light pink dress, nothing special, and drove to the restaurant. After this date, she was going to take ​​Seungcheol and Mingyu’s advice. After this date, she was going to tell her mother, no more dates. She can’t handle them anymore. 

She walked into the restaurant and walked towards the hostess, “Table for Y/N?”

She looked up and went through the list of names. She nodded her head, “Table ten.” 

The hostess went back to her phone to watch something and Y/N sighed. She walked past the teenager and went towards a waiter, “Do you know where table ten is?”

The waiter blinked his eyes and nodded his head, “It’s by the window.”

Y/N nodded her head and squinted at the tag, “Thank you Jungkook.” She walked away from him and saw the table. There was someone who looked just like Seokjin. She stopped walking and her mouth dropped. Who the hell is this guy? She rubbed her eyes roughly and stared at her date who was the mere image of her crush. She pinched her arm and realized this was real. She slowly walked towards the table with a confused look, “Seok-joong?”

Seok-joong looked up from the menu and gave her a small smile, “That’s me. Don’t yell it out.”

She tilted her head at him and nodded her head, “I’m Y/N...” She slowly sat in the chair and she couldn’t stop staring at him with a confused look. Seok-joong looked around him and gave her a confused look, “Are you okay? Is there something on my face?”

“You just looked like someone I know...” 

“Is that a good thing?”

In a sense, yes. “It’s not a bad thing...”

Seok-joong nodded his head and took a sip of his water, “Well should we order dinner?” 

“Y-Yeah, we should.” 

Y/N took her phone out (hiding it under the table) and texted ​​Seungcheol, I need you to look someone up for me

Are you going to kill someone?

What no, I think I’m on a date with someone who’s related to Seokjin

Are you finally going crazy?

Look up Kim Seok-joong for me

Oh shit...that’s his brother

She looked up from her phone and looked at Seok-joong with a defeated look. Why couldn’t her mom set her up with Seokjin? She would’ve given her mother her paycheck every month for a year for the setup but no. Y/N took a bit of her pasta and let out a small cough, “So....family?” 

Seok-joong looked up from his steak and nodded his head, “Yeah, something that most people have.”

“You got a brother?” 

Seok-joong let out a laugh and nodded his head, “Are you trying to move on from me that fast?” 

Y/N’s eyes widened at this and shook her head, “No, No I didn’t mean it like that! Oh, god I just processed what I just said.”

“Relax. I have a brother, his name is Seokjin.”

Y/N stood up from the table and put her arms up in a victory pose, “YES! I WON!” 

Seok-joong let out a laugh and raised his eyebrow, “I’m assuming you know him.”

She felt her face get warm and sat back down. She let out a sheepish laugh and nodded her head, “I-I do know him. Well, I don’t know him like that but I know his name and I work with him.”

“You talk a lot when you're nervous. Did you know that?” 

“Noted...Did you want this date?”

Seok-Joong shook his head and took a bite of his steak, “Nope and I’m amused you didn’t want it either.” 

“No offense but no.” Y/N clapped her hands at this and smiled, “I think the universe likes me. I-I need your help.”

“My help? Do you have a rash on your body or something?” 

Y/N glanced down at her arms and then back at Seok-joong, “What? No. I need help with Seokjin.”

Seok-joong nodded his head at this, “What about him?”

Y/N started to play with her pasta and looked up at Seok-joong, “You see...how do I say this?”

“You have a crush on my brother.”

Y/N closed her mouth and nodded her head slowly, “I guess that’s how you say it....I can’t talk to him...I have no idea how to approach him.” 

“Seokjin is the easiest person to talk to. He goes up to people all the time to strike up a conversation. He does that all the time at the ER.” 

“Wow, he talks to patients on his days off. He’s amazing.” 

Seok-joong snapped his fingers at Y/N, “Don’t daydream on me. Why can’t you approach him? Also, this is the weirdest date I have ever had.” 

“This is the most helpful date I have ever had. I get very clumsy when I see him...I broke his door the other day.” 

“Ohh, that was you. He told us at dinner.”

“Oh god, he’s telling you guys my most embarrassing moments.”

“Well, it sounds like you do it a lot because he talks about you all the time.”

Y/N felt her heart beat faster and she leaned towards him, “He talks about me? Oh my god, he talks about me.” 

He let out a small laugh, “Maybe that’s why he was upset last night about this date.” 

“Upset?” 

Seok-joong took a sip of his water and nodded his head, “He was shocked when he heard L/N. That was the first time I saw that expression on his face.”

Y/N felt warmth go through her body and she smiled at this, “Really? What should I do? I can’t talk to him...I always mess up and look like an idiot in front of him.” 

“Don’t change the way you are. Just be more confident with him.” 

Y/N scoffed at this and leaned back in her chair with her arms crossed, “Why do men think it's that easy?” 

Seok-joong shrugged his shoulders, “It’s just Seokjin.” 

Seokjin glared at his phone and took a sip of his beer. Jimin glanced at Suna and then back at Seokjin, “So...why are you glaring at your phone?” 

Seokjin crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged his shoulders, “No reason...”

Suna let out a small laugh and placed her beer on the coffee table, “It’s because his brother is on a date with Y/N.” 

Seokjin groaned at this and looked up at the ceiling, “I don’t need this.” 

Jimin let out a laugh and looked at Seokjin, “Is that the girl that keeps running away from you?” 

“Shut it.” 

Suan rolled her eyes and nodded her head, “Yes, it is. She's super nice and she’s popular with the men which makes Jin jealous.”

 “I don’t get jealous.” 

“Yes, you do.” 

Just then the door opened and Seokjin jumped up from his seat. He walked towards the door and was met with Jungkook giving him a confused look, “Hello?”

“Well, did you see him?”

“Jin, did you have Jungkook spy on Seok-joong?”

“Jimin not now.”

Jungkook put his coat on the coat hanger and nodded his head, “Yeah and it was with the girl from the picture you showed me.” 

“You have a picture of Y/N on your phone?” 

Seokjin glared at Suan and then looked back at Jungkook, “D-Did they look like they were having a good time?” 

“You do realize I had a job to do, right?”

“Okay and? Did they look like they were having a good time? Please tell me.”

Jungkook shrugged his shoulders, “I mean they were laughing...”

Seokjin frowned at this and he leaned against the wall with a frown, “She fell for the doctor. Of course, she fell for him.” 

Jungkook let out a small laugh and shook his head, “You don’t know that hyung.”

“You would fall for a doctor too.” 

“I’m not gay...” 

Seokjin let out a groan and rubbed his forehead, “You know what I mean.”

“I don’t actually...”

Seokjin walked back into the living and sighed to himself. He picked up his beer and glared at Suan, “Don’t say anything.” 

“You have to try harder to get her to notice you then.” 

Jimin nodded his head and looked at Seokjin, “Can you just admit that you like her first.” 

“Leave me alone.” 

Seokjin was waiting in his car for Y/N. After last night, he was going to try harder to talk to her and spend time with her. He wasn’t going to let his brother win. He took a sip of his water and his eyes widened when he saw Y/N getting out of her car. She was dressed in her normal attire but today she had this glow to her and he didn’t like that. That just gave him more proof that she had a good date with his brother. 

He took a deep breath and got out of his car as fast as he could. He walked towards Y/N and pushed up his glasses, “Good morning, Y/N.” 

Y/N froze in her spot and slowly turned towards the voice. Her eyes were wide and when she was met with the dark brown eyes, she dropped her lunch bag. Seokjin glanced down at the bag and picked it up for her, “Go-Good morning, Seokjin.” 

He handed her the bag and gave her a smile, “You can call me Jin.”

“J-Jin.” 

“I was wondering if you would come with me to get coffee.” 

She looked around her and then pointed to herself, “Yo-You want me to go with you to get coffee?” 

Seokjin let out a small laugh and nodded his head, “Yeah, we have thirty minutes until school starts.”

“I like coffee.”

“That’s good. I like coffee too.” 

After dropping her stuff at her classroom, the two walked to the local cafe across the street. Seokjin was talking the whole time while Y/N stayed silent. She couldn’t think of anything to say to him. She kept nodding her head but she stayed silent. Her dream was coming true and she couldn’t even express her happiness because of nerves. Seok-joong told her to stare at his lips or focus on his eyebrows but she couldn’t even look at him. Every time she looked at him, she wanted to kiss him.

“Y/N, do you want the croissant?”

She shook her head and looked at the croissant in the glass, “Y-Yeah...I-I’ll pay you back.” 

Seokjin shook his head at this, “You can pay for the next time.” 

Y/N’s eyes widened and whipped her head to look at him, “Nex-Next time!? 

Seokjin grabbed the coffee and the croissant with a smile, “Yeah, maybe this time we could get lunch instead and more time to hang out.”

Y/N almost dropped her coffee but Seokjin put his hand on the bottom of the cup, “We should go back before we are late for school.” 

“Ye-yeah.” 

Y/N entered her classroom and stared at her door with a confused face. She glanced at the coffee and croissant with a red face, “Did-Did that just happen?” 

“Ms. L/N, did you finally get asked out!?” 

She turned and pointed her finger at her student, “Ara! Sit down and don’t yell!”

“But Ms. L/N, you're yelling right now.” 

“Let’s start the lesson.”

“She’s ignoring us.”

At the end of the day, She was packing up after a long day of teasing from her students and Hoseok. It was annoying but she grew up with an older sister, she could take anything. The door opened and she looked up from grading. She sat up and smiled widely, “Jaebeom!” 

He gave her his signature smile and leaned against the door, “Yo. It’s been a while.” 

She ran towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck, “How’s Jinyoung?” 

Jaebeom let her go and frowned, “You didn’t even ask about me?”

She let him go and let out a small laugh, “Fine, how’s my ex-boyfriend and his boyfriend?” 

Jaebeom shrugged his shoulders, “We’ve been good. I wanted to visit you and the guys. It’s been a while. Mingyu told me that your sports day was coming up. I wanted to cheer you on.” 

“You work in Tokyo, don’t feel guilty. We understand and yes, sports day is coming up. I don’t need cheering, I just need an excuse to leave it.” 

Jaebeom laughed at this and glanced at the table, “Need help grading?” 

“Please.”

Seokjin was walking down the hallway and he went to say goodbye to Y/N. He glanced through the glass and he felt his heart stop, Y/N was close to a man he had never seen before. This closeness was different from her with Hoseok and Mingyu, this closeness was warm and it was comfortable. It was clear they knew each other and the way she looked at him made him feel sick. He walked away from the door with his head hanging low.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Y/N hated going out with her sister. Umiko made it known that she was better than her. With the way she dressed whenever they went out and the way she spoke changed. It always made her feel small but she never said anything because what was the point? This is how her sister was and there was no point in trying to change her. 

Her mother set up a dinner party with her friends, the Kims. She knew this meant she was going to see Seokjin and she was ready for the first time. Jaebeom gave her encouragement and told her to show off the side she never showed to people. Her sexy side. She had one but she didn’t know how to use it but tonight that was going to change. She was going to get Seokjin's attention...well she would try. With her sister there, she didn’t know how this night would turn out. It was either her crying because Seokjin noticed Umiko or her crying because Seokjin noticed her. 

She entered the restaurant and her eyes landed on Seokjin who was in the corner. She fixed her skirt and took a deep breath. She ignored her sister's stare and walked towards Seokjin. She pushed her hair behind her ear and gave him a small smile, “H-Hi, Jin.”

Seokjin glanced and his eyes widened. Y/N was in a dark blue off-the-shoulder dress that made her curves stand out. He knew she was cute but to see her like this, this was different. He let out a small cough and placed his glass on the table, “Hey, you look great, Y/N.”

Y/N glanced down at her dress and smiled to herself, “I-I bought this dress.” 

Seokjin let out a small laugh, “I would hope so or are you a criminal?” 

Y/N shook her head and let out a small cough, “I-I would be a horrible criminal. Especially if you were the cop.”

Seokjin raised his eyebrow at this and leaned down to be closer to her face, “Oh? Why is that?” 

“Yo-You make me nervous.” 

“Don’t be nervous around me. I want to hear you talk more.” 

She felt her face get hotter and she nodded her head, “Ye-Yeah...I’ll talk more.” 

He grabbed her hand and headed to the balcony without anyone noticing. He stood in front of her and smiled, “Can I ask you something personal?”

She tilted her head and slowly nodded her head, “I-I suppose.” 

“Are you single?” 

She blinked her eyes and let out a small cough, “I am.”

His eyes widened and he couldn’t stop the excitement that was flowing through his body, “Really?” 

She nodded her head, “I’m sure you heard about my date with your brother but...it was obvious that it wouldn’t work out.” 

“That actually made me feel better.” 

Y/N tilted her head at this, “Make you feel better? Why?” 

“Y/N, I-”

“Y/N, who is this?” 

Y/N looked past Seokjin and frowned, Umiko was standing there in her elegant black dress that showed off her beauty. Y/N hated how Umiko was looking at Seokjin, it made her feel uneasy. Y/N swallowed some spit and looked down at her shoes, “This is Kim Seokjin. He’s a math teacher at the school.” 

Umiko nodded her head and glanced at Seokjin up and down, “A teacher? I would’ve suspected a K-idol with the way you look.”

Seokjin let out an awkward cough and nodded his head, “Thanks...umm and you are?”

“I’m Park Umiko. I’m visiting family for a short term. After this party, I have to get on the next flight to New York for my job.” 

Seokjin nodded his head and glanced at Y/N, “Can we talk later?” 

Y/N looked up and nodded her head with a small smile, “Yeah...” 

She walked away from the scene and she didn’t even bother to look at them one last time. It would only break her heart. Umiko always wins and this annoys her. She will never win, she had to accept this.

Umiko watched her sister leave and turned towards Seokjin with a small smirk, “So, Seokjin-”

“It’s rude to interrupt a private conversation.” 

Umiko’s eyes widened at this and let out a nervous laugh, “What do you mean? You were talking to my sister, it wasn’t private.” 

“But it was private. I didn’t want to call you out in front of her because it felt inappropriate. Now what do you want?”

Umiko scoffed at this and crossed her arms over her chest, “I just wanted to know you...is that so bad?” 

“Yes, especially when I was talking to someone. Now, I’ll see you at the dinner table.” 

Seokjin ran out of the balcony leaving Umiko dumbfounded. His eyes landed on Y/N who was talking to his mother and he smiled at their smiles. He slowly walked towards them and smiled at his mother, “Hello, mom.”

“Oh, Seokjin. Y/N was just telling me about her lesson the other day. She’s so intelligent.” 

Seokjin smiled at this and glanced at Y/N who shook her head, “I’m just average-”

“Y/N is one of the most intelligent teachers I have ever met and I’m proud to work with her.” 

Y/N glanced at Seokjin with wide eyes, “Really?” 

Seokjin nodded his head, “The students talk about you all day and I’ve seen your lesson plans. You're brilliant.”  

She smiled down at her shoes, “Thank you, Jin.” She looked back up and glanced at the balcony to see Umiko smoking with annoyance. She had never seen Umiko so annoyed before but it made her feel better. Even though that was terrible to say, she needed a win. 

Seokjin glanced down at her hand and wrapped his pinky around hers with a smile on his face. She glanced down and then back at him, he looked down at her and winked. She smiled at this and went closer to him. Seokjin’s mother watched this with a smile on her face. At least one of her sons will get with someone. 

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Today was field day and Y/N hated this day. Last year, they had to play soccer against the students and she fell on her back after trying to kick a goal. The year before that, she went to hit the ball in baseball and she let the bat go. She hated sports day but this year was different. She wanted to impress Seokjin and this was her moment. All week ​​Seungcheol, Jaebeom, and Mingyu were training her for this moment. She was ready to play but she wasn’t ready for the game to be volleyball. All the sports she trained for and volleyball wasn’t on the list. 

She ran onto the court with the rest of the teachers and her eyes landed on Seokjin. He was the referee and he looked great in strips. Her face got warm and she didn’t even notice the game started, “Y/N! We need you!” 

She shook her head and nodded her head towards Hoseok, “O-Okay!” 

Jaebeom leaned towards Seungcheol, “Is that the guy who she has a crush on?”

“Yeah...I’m hoping this game goes well.” 

Y/N went to hit the ball but the ball fell right in front of her. Jaebeom sighed and shook his head, “I just want her to hit the ball once.” 

Mingyu nodded his head with his arms crossed, “She’ll hit the ball but she won’t hit over the net.” 

“Oi, have faith in her.” 

Y/N walked towards the water and frowned to herself, she hadn’t hit the ball once. She took a sip of her water and she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Seokjin giving her a soft smile, “Are you okay?”

She felt her face get hot and she looked back down at her water, “I-I’m okay.” 

“Just remember, it’s just a game. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

“I-I’ll try.” 

He patted her shoulder, “I’ll be cheering you on.” 

She watched him walk away and her mouth fell open, “He-He’s cheering me on!?” 

Y/N went to the court and felt fire go through her body. She was going to get a point and she was going to do it for Seokjin, “Game...Start!” 

She ran across the court and went to hit the ball but somehow, the ball hit her square in the face. Seokjin's eyes widened and ran towards her, “TIME OUT!” He walked towards her and pushed the ball away, “Y/N, are you okay!?”

She let out a small moan and opened her eyes, “Did I hit the ball?” 

Suan walked towards her and shook her head, “Technically you hit it but not the way you're supposed to hit it.” 

“Suan, you're going to be the referee. I’m taking Y/N to the nurse.” 

Before Suan could answer, Seokjin picked up Y/N and ran towards the nurse. Mingyu glanced at ​​Seungcheol, “I guess that worked in her favor.” 

“Shut it.” 

Seokjin placed Y/N on the bed and got her ice pouch. He placed the ice on her head and she couldn’t stop staring at him, “Th-Thank you, J-Jin.”

“Are you okay?” 

“I-I just have a headache.” 

Seokjin nodded his head and grabbed Tylenol for her. He ran his fingers through her hair and let out a small sigh, “Your face is red. Are you sure you're okay?” 

She swallowed some spit and nodded her head, “I-I’m okay. Don’t worry.” 

“I can’t do that. I worry about you constantly.” 

She blinked her eyes at this, “Wh-What do you mean?”

Seokjin felt his body get warm and let out a small cough, “I-I..I care for you.”

“Yo-You care for me!?” 

Seokjin glanced down at her lips and sighed, “Fuck it.” 

He leaned down and placed his lips on hers. Her eyes widened at the sudden action but she slowly closed them. She wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him in closer and he happily accepted it. When they pulled away, Y/N looked at him with a shocked face, “You kissed me....does that mean-”

“Yes...”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.” 

Seokjin let out a laugh and shook his head. He placed his forehead against hers and smiled, “I-I like you.” Y/N nodded her head and she fainted causing Seokjin's eyes to widen, “NURSE!” 

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  Extend Ending ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ 

It was Seokjin’s birthday and he got everything he wanted. He got the cake he wanted from his mom and Y/N placed the said cake on the table without falling. The greatest gift he got this year was Y/N, herself. What more could he ask for? Which is how he landed in this situation...

The warmth of his hand made Y/N feel so hot and helpless. He placed a gentle kiss on the tip of her ear causing her to let out a surprise gasp, “J-Jin.” 

Seokjin let a small smirk appear and continued to kiss her neck. His fingers slipped down his skirt and he sneaked his fingers to push Y/N’s underwear to the side. He thrust a finger into her aching hole and smirked at her shaking, “You were the one that wanted this. Don’t act too shocked.” 

“I-I-”

“Shush. You don’t want anyone coming up looking for us, right.”

She felt her face get hot and shook her head, “No...”

“Then stay quiet.” 

She felt her back arched against his body as her mouth fell open. His fingers were a work of art. They were long enough to reach that spot that made her see the stars. She clenched around him and covered her mouth, “W-Wait...not there. Ji-Jin.” 

She was embarrassed because it was her fault that this happened. She couldn’t help herself because she saw Seokjin in a casual black shirt. He looked so good and she couldn’t stop herself. She started to finger herself in his bedroom, thinking it would be quick and she would go to dinner without anyone noticing but Seokjin noticed. He always noticed. 

He moved his fingers faster into her and she let out a small whine. She was dripping down to his fingers right to his wrist. She couldn’t believe the mess she was making on his bed sheet, “Ji-Jin, I’m so-” She felt her face get hotter when she watched Seokjin lick away her juices, “J-Jin, don’t do that.” 

“It’s not my fault you taste so good.” 

His lips landed on Y/N’s and in a steady swoop, Seokjin hoisted her by her thighs and wrapped her legs around his waist as the kiss deepened. She wrapped her arms around his neck and she couldn’t stop herself from moaning against his plump lips. His hands gripped her ass and thighs as she felt his cock at her entrance. 

She pushed him away her lips shined in the moonlight, “Jin, your mother-” 

“I know.”

“We have to-to hurry.”

Seokjin let out a deep chuckle and kissed her neck, “You just had my fingers and now you want my cock...so selfish.”

“St-Stop.” 

He unbuckled his pants and hoisted Y/N up a little. He pulled down the pants and boxes. She glanced down to see his swollen head and she felt her face get hotter. He buried his cock into her pussy and she let out a loud gasp. Even though this wasn’t the first time they had sex, she never got used to his size. He squeezed the flesh of her ass and as he tried to find his rhythm, “God, always so tight.” 

He began to thrust into her and his pace was causing the bed to shake a little. Her face turned hot at the sound and she hid her face into his chest. He ran his fingers through his hair and continued to thrust, he kissed the top of her head and let out a small laugh, always so cute. He felt her clench and he brought his fingers to press harshly against her clit. She let out a small sob and Seokjin kissed the side of her head, “It’s okay. Let it go.” 

She closed her eyes and did just that. She let out a small gasp and wrapped her arms around his neck, “It-It’s too much.” 

“I know, baby. I’m almost there.” 

Her body goes limp and before he could spill into her, he pulled his cock out and the sticky white fluid went inside her underwear. She let out a small laugh and shook her head, “Yo-You need to stop doing that.” 

He leaned down and kissed her forehead, “Let me live my fantasy.” 

“Jin! Y/N! Is everything okay!?” 

Y/N pushed Jin off and fixed herself up, “We-Were okay! I wasn’t feeling good! We’ll be down soon.” 

Jin got up from the floor and glared at her, “Did you just push me off?” 

“Yes...hurry up before your mom thinks we had sex.” 

“She would be happy because that means she would get a grandchild.” 

“JIN!” 

Jin let out a small laugh and leaned down to kiss her forehead, “Thank you for the birthday gift.” 

“Sh-Shut up.” 

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Tag List: @luaxjin @joonlover1207 @angelikookrecs @yoontaethings

[oshinohoshi]

Oshi no Ko chapter 166 thoughts - the end of all things

So uh... the only positive thing I can say here besides the beautiful Ai art is that I felt sad reading the page where Miyako was hugging Ruby. Everything else left me completely empty

This chapter is either:

A) A self-aware ending meant to show that life is suffering and the idol industry will suck out your soul if you let it

B) Outsourced to someone who skimmed OnK for 30 seconds on Wikipedia before putting pen to paper

It has to be A, right? You can't tell me that the same author wrote both of these pages without the right being ironic

But I don't think so because big brained Akane is the one clumsily narrating this crappy montage masquerading as a real ending

Aqua died for nothing. His sister is now a soulless cog in the idol machine

Ruby is mimicking Ai's speech - "Lies are an outstanding kind of love... We pile on the lies and no matter how hard things get, we sing and act happy onstage. It's a fun job!" But she forgot the rest of it: "Only, I'd like the 'being happy' part to be real. Nobody notices, but we have hearts and lives of our own. Happiness as a mother. Happiness as an idol. Normally you'd have to pick one, but I want both. Ai Hoshino is a greedy girl"

Ai wasn't only a misunderstood girl who worked hard to please her fans. That was a big part of her story but she also broke the rules to create her own family, her own happiness

Ruby, on the other hand, seems to have no real desires anymore, she's just following a path she believes her mother and Aqua paved for her. Never mind that Aqua only wanted it in the end because she wanted it and Ai just wanted her kids to be happy

You can tell that Akasaka is patting himself on the back for making a cyclical narrative where Ruby becomes Ai 2.0 by being commodified, scrutinized, and idolized like Ai was

But it's such a flimsy parallel when it comes to the theme of lies because lying to hide your grief =/= "lies are love" which was the only way Ai knew how to frame her genuine desire to love

And Ai's "I love you" to her kids was true whereas Ruby has swallowed her own lie that being an idol is fun even when you're just doing it to outrun your pain

What this chapter showed us is that the meaning of Ruby's life is to be Ruby of B Komachi and she was put on Earth to sing pop songs. Because that's what Ai did, right? If I remember correctly, her final words were "I'm so glad I got to be an idol #blessed"

My God was the Dome concert soulless. Miyako and Ichigo crying happy tears is a punch to the gut. Doesn't Miyako know her daughter is still hurting?

The last scene is so fucking depressing

Ruby, are you okay? Blink twice if you still remember your life outside the idol industry!

The last two pages work really well as horror. She has a brilliant smile but you can tell that she's dead inside. She's got more merch on her table than photos. Why doesn't she have a corkboard of family photos? Although I more or less have this Ai plushie and it's pretty cute so I'll give this a pass because it's hilarious

I guess the takeaway here is to live for others and life is painful so just grin and bear it. Oh yeah, and inspire other young women to join an industry where they get to act happy and lose their humanity. Cool

I mean I get that it's supposed to be about moving on with your life even while grieving and that's a good message, sure, but Aka's insistence on using the word "lies" multiple times as if saying it makes it make sense ruins the whole thing

The most insane part is that this chapter is a wholehearted endorsement of the lies sold by the entertainment/idol industry

I haven't even said anything about anyone besides Ruby because what's the point? Aka didn't have time to do justice to any of the characters I grew to love

It's clear something went wrong with the timeline of wrapping up OnK. No artist wants to execute a final chapter like this. I'm convinced the film reel edges are Aka and Mengo's way of telling the reader, "we know this is a shitty clips show so don't @ us on Twitter about it"

But it's so much worse than that. Aka really decided to tear to shreds everything he worked so hard on for 4 years. Damn

This is my favorite manga and I'll always love that it gave me Ai, my most beloved character of all time, but this leaves an extremely bitter aftertaste. It's really hard to believe that the same person who wrote vol 1 wrote this.

OnK has been pretty important to me. Reading weekly, chatting with fans, and reaching dangerous levels of Ai brain rot has actually been a helpful distraction. TBH I've been a little too invested in it but sometimes you need escapism. So it's crazy that I'm kind of glad it's over.

But this is why fanfic, fanart, and your own headcanons exist. In another universe, this manga wrapped up beautifully and I was depressed for weeks because I couldn't look forward to it anymore. In this universe, at least we're all suffering together here at the end of all things.

And at least the little Hoshino family is still adorable. Too bad Ai is dead, Aqua is dead, and Ruby desperately needs grief counseling. But NEVER MIND. Look at Ai's smile and the twins' faces. This was the Oshi no Ko I really loved.

[goldtheorys]

Jeff the killer general + relationship headcanons

_I did Jeff headcanons before but they were ass, so here’s my second attempt.

══════════════════ -`♡´-

General 🩶

Veeeeery reclusive

He’s thin and agile, even if he’s literally just standing in a room staring at the wall, lost in thought, he’ll hide or slip out of the room when he hears someone coming in easily

He doesn’t even really mean to, but it’s just some instinct that kicks in he doesn’t bother to fight

Doesn’t like people all that much anyways, so he’ll do what he can to avoid everyone

Loneliness isn’t the loveliest feeling though

Occasionally he’ll go find one of the other creeps, awkwardly ask them a simple question

I see a lot of stuff where he’s really loud and obnoxious, also a total jerk, and although I agree, his whole life went to shit pretty early on

So he lacks social skills, he barely knows how to take care of himself, and doesn’t have good emotional control

Of course he has outbursts, he doesn’t know how to make friends, he thinks because he’s so damn amazing everyone who “acts” like they hate him just wants to be him

But it begins to get to him after awhile, never having someone

He is sort of friends with Ben, but it flip flops from fun and easygoing to strained and frustrating

Survives on randomly selected energy drinks, beer and junk food alone

Cannot cook, cannot remember what a warm meal tastes like

Has a lot of energy, so when he can’t find anyone to bother, he goes on walks

Mostly during night to help hide his face, but because of that it’s pretty enjoyable

Wears a mask too so he can grab some food before finding whatever abandoned park he can, sitting on the swing set while he eats

Prefers the colder months

I’m not sure I wanna add he has smile dog as a pet on my version of him… but he is a big dog person. Runs into a stray every now and again and spends maybe a solid hour just petting and talking to it

He kills when he feels overwhelmed, but regrets it from all the guilt after

Sleeps a lot to try and forget about everything

Relationship

══════════════════ 🤍

You two probably met in a rather absurd way

Maybe it was the classic you both just murdered someone and found eachother, dripping with a stranger’s blood

Or he walked into your home at random, surprised and intrigued by your lack of fear

(you were just too tired to give a fuck)

He’s real rude at first, calling you names, making fun of basically the way you breathe or walk, trying to poke and prod for a weak point

If you tough it out and keep being kind or neutral towards him, eventually he’ll stop and slide into a weird mood of observing you

It’s like his eyes never leave you for a second, and it gets real creepy

He studies your movements, your face, your words, your mannerisms

You’re still here despite his lack of…maturity at the beginning

Even if it’s a little begrudgingly, you’ve let him stay

It’s weird and he can’t help but question if it’s some scheme to hurt or kill him

But he’ll be damned if he misses the chance to have the first genuine human connection he’s had in years

Kind of follows you like a cat when he can

Like to watch you from his own spot in the room, occasionally piping up to say whatever comes to his mind

And, it would take a bit longer, but eventually he warms up to being more affectionate, rather than the previous friendly coexisting

Doesn’t show it, might even scowl at you for being quote unquote cringe, but adores when you compliment him. About his beauty, his talents, his intelligence, he wants it all

But what he really adores is your touch

Late nights in, watching some show while he lies on top of you

Your nails running up and down his back, occasionally tangling into his hair to twist and brush it makes his heart beat faster than any night when he’s drenched in sweat and blood

He’ll still refuse to show that kind of weakness in front of anyone else, but when it’s just him and you, he’s pathetic for your attention and affection

Likes to hold you from behind, tracing every curve, every scar, every inch of your skin he can reach

Dangerously possessive

You’re the first good thing that’s happened to him in a long while, he cannot stand even the thought of you being ripped away from him

And as I said before, he doesn’t have the greatest control of his feelings

Instead of voicing his fears or concerns, he lashes out at you, especially if he knows you’ve been spending time with someone else

Tries to force you to stay by his side, threatens to harm you if you dare to leave

But once he calms down, he leaves, and your left scratching your head wondering why he had done all of that

He’ll come back when you’re asleep, watching you as he traces shapes onto your arm

He’s so fucking scared you’re gonna realize how truly shitty of a person he is

Wakes you up, wrapping you into a hug as soon as your blearily blink your eyes open

He won’t apologize, he’s still a bit of a narcissist, but you can feel it in the way he clings to you in the darkness of the room

You’ll cuddle him to sleep, and wake up in the morning to him acting like nothing has happened

══════════════════ -`♡´-

_ughhh still don’t rlly like this it is SO messy, but also idc lol. Hope my version of him is enjoyable… might work on nsfw headcanons next, but I’m kind of just going with whatever right now. requests open, and sorry for my previous inactivity (⇀‸↼‶)

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

[milkbreadtoast]

my s class hunters does a really good job at gradually raising the stakes without feeling like a pointless power creep and keeping me extremely invested and i keep saying this but I really do think it's bc it's a story grounded in love at every turn... the bond between the han brothers especially is extremely compelling and beautiful and makes me feel like a knife is being stabbed into my heart and twisted all around... i love them so so much 😞💔❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

[kikuism]

dnf'd the pairing 😍

[crescentfool]

ohh the joy of videos and streams... i like listening to people talk about things they like/think about it’s very contagious... 🥺

[thewingedwolf]

i remember three things about bb10 prior to rewatch (the last watch being literally while it was airing and i was about 12) really vividly:

keesha’s birthday

chicken george conning april out of a win she desperately needed for a thousand bucks

i couldn’t describe a scene but i have really vivid memories of googling “dan and keesha big brother live feed clips” several times a week lmaoooooo

can you tell who my favorite was lmao

what i’ve been most enjoying is definitely how hardcore these girls are, and how much the edit highlights that. they were really throwing themselves into these physical comps, showing out for the booth comps, starting fights with literally everyone in the house & egging on fights between the guys, giving great DRs, really using good social strategies, getting crazy HOHitis, those men KNEW they couldn’t take a woman to f3 or she’d wipe the fucking FLOOR with them so they had to get rid of them before finale!!!!

[running-in-the-dark]

a super fun thing that my brain is really good at is hearing a random fact and remembering it forever. but only if it's bad :)

[infizero]

also his drawings. make me insane. im pretty sure ive made a post about this before a while ago but i just love looking at his silly little drawings it adds so much to his character. even after everything he's been through he's still got some humor and lightheartedness in him. and he's really good at drawing too!! so it's likely something he's been doing since he was a kid

[louisloulouie]

It has been almost exactly one month since I saw Louis and Taylor at back to back concerts, and today is the first day my throat hasn’t hurt from singing for 5+ hours in one weekend…

I am going to a concert this Saturday where I will once again be singing for hours….. rip to my throat

[shidoukanae]

Paris Valerian but i redesign his dragon form for funsies based on how i see him=. Not sure if I like this design bc im not a fan of bulkier looking dragons but for Paris I think this works??

Some headcanons about this design:

has a bit of a bull-like look bc I associate bulls with persistence and madness and idk that fits Paris well so if Fian has a “fox” motif Paris gets a “bull” one for his dragon form 

His design is based a lot on how a stereotypically evil dragon would look???? Because imo OG!Paris reads as a massive antagonist and I think giving him a look that fits that vibe in his dragon form works!! Especially because he still is an antagonist in a way (though god does he not read that way lmao)

he’s stronger in his dragon form than Fian is and he uses this to his advantage to bully Fian around whenever they playfight as dragons. That said, it seems Paris is surprisingly gentle towards Fian in this form and never hurts him.

he uses this form to intimidate people into getting what he wants. He’s not used to getting retaliated against while in this form and quickly respects anyone who does so (read: Fian, Lyla and Helene)

the silver scales on his body can glow in the same way his eyes do. Typically, he keeps them dull-colored (see above) but if he feels a strong emotion of any sorts they’ll glow brightly without him meaning to (noticeably: they glow constantly whenever Helene is around for obvious reasons~).

[nocontextlestat]

WHAT?! It's morning! I lost time. Things got a little heated— With a boy! Things got heated with a boy. I was at home picking lint off the sofa! I said to join us! The night's gone. The room's soiled and once again, I'm here with mop and mindlessness to clean it up. So the room got dirty, so what? I'll clean it up. No, I clean it up! You make the mess and I clean it up! Mark it on the calendar, align it with Ursa Major. Louis' tri-annual FUCK OFF and find me with apologies to follow. I'm sorry. SEEK comfort in the arms of lowlifes and unfortunates, and broken children, fine. Oh, fine! The fine that doesn't sound fine— But REVEALING our nature to a reporter you met in a bar ten hours ago? What if it was published? I was having some fun! You don't have enough to fear from Paris? I was in the middle of ending things, when YOU— YOU'D have been passed out on the floor next to him, Louis! Out on your feet from the drugs you stuffed him with! Oh, this is boring! You're boring! YOU ARE SO BORING! And here come the drugs. Colorless. Up the fangs, down the throat. Flavorless. Dull! Into the heart and off with the fingers, feet. Dull! Dull nights! And wallowing brain. Dull weeks, dull months, DULL AS FUCK! Suffocation by the world's softest, beige-est pillow! The ten hours I spent with that boy were more exciting, more FASCINATING, than DECADES with YOU! Oh, there it is! The half-blank, half-apocalyptic look! But what does it mean tonight, huh? Does he want to lick my boots or chop my hands off? Is it the gremlin or the good nurse tonight? Huh? Okay. Okay, perhaps. But am I as boring as the blather committed onto the ferric tapes of your fascinating boy? "Oh, it's so, so hard to be me." "Picking lint off the sofa?!" "It's so hard to kill humans." "I can feel their feelings as I drain them." You sat on your hands and put your ear to the wind. "Everyone I know wronged me." Okay. Okay, let's wake the boy up and let's try you. "I'm the vampire Armand and my daddy vampire groomed me into a little BITCH!" "My brother he tossed himself off a roof!" "Vampires who murdered my daddy made me pretend I didn't have a dick for 240 years." "My sister buried me alive. My daughter was my sister was my throw pillow. Well, he wouldn't look at me kindly. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat." I talked shit about him the whole time. So what?! THE NAME!! The name! Unuttered in our home for 23 years, said over and over again until it was pounding in my brain like a hammer. Our problems aren't about him. And you threw her name around just for cover, but it always circled back to him. I loved her. But SHE didn't love YOU. Not like he did, not like I have. I know. I know! Yes! I know. Thank you for saying it. It's all creeping back. Paris and the, uh, what, what, what? But there's... all of it coming back. There's, uh, Paris. Paris. Can you hear that? Can you hear that, hm? Can you hear her? She's calling me.

[xx-justsomeguy-xx]

out of my 39 characters, 21 are lv 80, 6 are lv 70, and the rest are 40-60… playing kaveh simulator rn with trying to get everyone to 80 and with built talents >.< and i don’t like moving around artifacts so that’s still something to deal with

[javiscigarette]

Teacher's Pet

Joel Miller x virgin f!reader

Summary: 25 years old, anxiety-ridden, and still a virgin, you ask your friend Joel for advice on your upcoming date. But you're more of a...hands-on learner. And he's more than happy to help. 

Warnings: PWP, unbalanced power dynamics, virgin!reader, neighbor/bff/more experienced! Joel, age gap, first kiss, virginity loss, fingering, oral (f receiving), frequent check-ins, soo much banter and Joel is a menace also so soft and sweet :')....(ends on a cliffhanger but there will be a part two I swear).

w/c: 7.7k idk what happened

a/n: I am resurfacing for your monthly reminder that I do in fact still write!! Inspiration for this came out of literally nowhere but I took it and RAN with it and I think I like it?? As always, thank you to my baby love @undrthelights for helping me with this and always listening to my rambling and for being my biggest enabler Ilysm

Part Two

my masterlist

"Fine! What if, hypothetically speaking of course, you were to, hypothetically, give me a, um, hypothetical, lesson or whatever." Your heart is pounding so hard you can feel your pulse throb in your neck pound in your ears. You slowly drag your hands away from your face and look at him. He stares right back at you, brows furrowed. "A what?" "Forget it. forget I said anything,” you mutter, shaking your head.  "No no wait, hang on, what do you mean? A lesson? Like a…a sex lesson?” 

"Seriously, Joel. Fuck off" you snap but with no bite or heat behind it. You bring the sweating bottle of beer to your lips and finish the rest of the now lukewarm liquid off in one gulp. 

"What? I just find it hard to believe that you've never even had a kiss. Didn't you go to high school? Didn't you ever get invited to a party? Didn't you go to college? College kids do the do like all the time” 

"Clearly not all the time" you mutter, a tad bitterly.

Joel raises his hands defensively and takes a sip of his own beer. "Just seems crazy is all. There's gotta be some chick or dude out there willing to take pity on you and pop your cherry."

You audibly gag at his choice of words. "I don't need a pity fuck, thanks." You stand from the couch and head over to the fridge. The bottles of cold alcohol inside are calling your name and you want something that will help soothe your nerves. You're not a big drinker, but when Joel is prying into your love life like he is now, you wish you were.

"Okay,” he starts from the living room. “Maybe I worded that wrong. What I meant to say was, there's gotta be someone out there who would be more than willing to show you a good time."

You groan and let your forehead fall against the fridge door. "That's the whole point! I came here to get advice for my date, someone who might actually be interested in me, and all you've done is make fun of me for not having fucked anyone yet. So thanks, Joel. You're a real pal."

You push away from the fridge and slam the door shut, a second beer in hand.

"Alright, alright, calm down." He says, hands in the air as if you were holding him at gunpoint as you head back to the couch. "Look, if this guy really likes you then he's not gonna care. Probably won't even be able to tell if you are or aren't."

"You think so?" You ask hopefully.

"Well, I mean, unless you're like... super bad."

Your heart drops into your stomach and you glare at him, "Joel."

"Oh come on, I'm kidding. You're not gonna be bad, okay? Just, go into it with an open mind and just relax. If he tries something you're not comfortable with or makes you feel weird, tell him. And if he gets pissy, dump his ass."

"That simple, huh?" You scoff.

"Well, yeah. You're the one who made it complicated by thinking it was a big deal."

"It is a big deal, Joel! I know nothing!

"Nothing? You ain’t ever watched porn? Jesus, I had no idea you were such a prude."

You can't stop yourself from rolling your eyes and slapping the back of your hand against his arm. He yelps and laughs, rubbing his arm.

"I've watched porn before" you retort. 

"What kind?" he asks with a wiggle of his brows.

"None of your fucking business" you respond, feeling your face heat up.

Joel's lips quirk into a shit-eating grin and you're quick to smack him again.

"Okay okay, sorry!" he says through his laughter. "So what exactly are you afraid of?"

You're not really sure how to answer. It's a combination of so many things, most of which are irrational fears and insecurities. Sure you've seen it all done before, but you're well aware that none of it is realistic. At least, not completely. And just the fact that you're freshly 25 years old without a single notch in your bedpost makes you dizzy with anxiety. It's not like you're saving yourself or anything, it's just that hook up culture has never agreed with you and there's never been an opportunity that made you feel like it was the right one. That is until now, with your cute coworker who you thought was miles out of your league asking you out on a third date. And now, the prospect of being in bed with him is looming over you like a dark cloud and the last thing you want to do is mess it up.

"I guess, I'm just afraid that he's gonna be disappointed, or I'm gonna weird him out, or I'm gonna do something wrong and embarrass myself.” Joel nods along and listens. "And if it is bad then we still have to work with each other and then what if it's awkward and everyone knows about it and then he hates me and--"

"Okay, whoa slow down there, buddy" Joel says, putting a hand on your shoulder. "One, you're overthinking this. You're literally thinking like, five steps ahead of what's actually going on. It's a date. And even if it does end up in the bedroom, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. No one's forcing you, okay? He can't. No one can."

"I know, but I want to," you reply quietly.

"Alright. Then do."

"I don't know howwww!! " you whine, flopping backwards into the couch.

Joel groans and sits up a little straighter, scrubbing a hand down his face. 

"Well, there's no magic trick, I don't have a secret sex manual I'm holding out on ya."

You sigh, shoulders sagging as you look over at him. The idea comes out of nowhere, well, not exactly from nowhere, but it pops in your head so fast that you then have to bite your tongue before the words bubbling up from your throat come tumbling out. 

It's not a bad idea, not necessarily. 

You've been good friends with Joel ever since you moved in next door last year. An unlikely pairing, a 40 year old contractor and an almost 25 year old office worker. But after offering him a six pack as part of introducing yourself to the neighbors, you'd gotten along fabulously. He fixes things around your house and you send him home with hot dinners and warm, gooey cookies and you watch movies together almost every Friday night.

 It's an easy friendship, open and honest and supportive, and Joel has never given you reason not to trust him. He's a good guy, if not a little brash, but you know deep down he means well. And it doesn't hurt that he's objectively attractive, with his tall and sturdy frame, strong, calloused hands, dark messy curls....It's not a bad idea.

It's an absolutely insane idea. 

You continue to stare at him, clenching your teeth together to hold back the question sitting on the tip of your tongue.

"What?" he says, looking back at you.

"Nothing" you mutter, eyes flicking away.

"You've got that face you make when you're about to say something really stupid, so just get it out."

You glare at him again, not enjoying the way he can read you so well.

"I wasn't gonna say anything."

"Well now you're lying."

"I'm not."

"You're doing it again!"

"Doing what?!"

"That face!"

"I'm not making a face!"

"Yes you are! Just spit it out!"

You groan and hide your face in your hands. You blame it on the one beer even though you know you’re not anywhere close to being drunk because how else would you justify what you’re about to say? You wait a moment, thinking about the weight of it but your mouth opens before you can stop yourself. 

"Fine! What if, hypothetically speaking of course, you were to, hypothetically, give me a, um, hypothetical, lesson or whatever."

Your heart is pounding so hard you can feel your pulse throb in your neck and hear it in your ears. You slowly drag your hands away from your face and look at him. He stares right back at you, brows furrowed.

"A what?"

"Forget it. forget I said anything,” you mutter, shaking your head. 

"No no wait, hang on, what do you mean? A lesson? Like a…a sex lesson?” 

His eyes are wide, and he looks incredulous. You can't blame him, because the more time that passes between your suggestion and now, the more ridiculous the idea seems.

"I’m sorry, that was…It was stupid. Pretend I didn't say anything. Let's just watch a movie." You move to grab the remote, but Joel's hand covers yours, stopping you.

"Is that what you want?"

You look at him, searching his expression for any sign of disgust or apprehension. But all you can see is the same Joel you've known for months, patient, warm, and understanding.

"I know. I know it's stupid. But I can't get this date out of my head, Joel. It's all I can think about and the more I do, the more worried I get and I just don't want to fuck it up. And I know we're friends and this is weird and gross, but I just thought that... maybe, I could have some practice, so to speak."

He doesn't say anything. Just keeps looking at you, the panic rising in your chest the longer the silence stretches. You start to fidget, wringing your hands together in your lap.

"I'm sorry, that was way out of line" you say, moving to stand up, your skin sweaty and hot with embarrassment and your feet ready to run out the door and never come back. 

But Joel catches your wrist, gently pulling you back down to sit next to him.

"Joel" you whine, not wanting him to humiliate you any further.

"It's okay, come here."

His voice is softer than before, and his eyes are kind. You let him pull you closer, the two of you sitting knee to knee. You can't bring yourself to look him in the eyes, not with your cheeks and the tips of your ears burning like they are, but Joel doesn't push. He simply moves his hand from your wrist, sliding it into yours. His palms are rough and warm, and the simple touch alone is comforting.

"You really wanna do this?” he asks softly. You can feel his eyes boring into you. “I mean, I'm not exactly a prize winning catch. And it's not like there's a shortage of willing men out there."

You shrug and chew the inside of your lip.

"Yeah, but you're my friend and I...I trust you."

There's another pause, and you wish that you could just disappear into the couch and erase this moment from your memory.

"How drunk are you?" he asks, glancing at the beer bottle on the coffee table.

"You saw me finish one bottle. And half of another. I’m barely tipsy."

"Not drunk?”

"Nope."

"You're gonna remember this tomorrow."

"Uh huh."

"And you still want to?"

You groan for the millionth time and squeeze his hand.

"Yes I want to! Look, if you don't want to then that's fine. It was just a dumb suggestion and we can just forget this ever happened."

He hums, considering your words. His hand slips out of yours, and you think that's it, you've scared him off and washed the friendship down the drain. That you'll have to hide from him from now on, that you'll have to pack your things up and move because the mortification would be too much, and that he'll hate you, and—

His two fingers sliding under chin surprise you, and he tilts your head up. He's looking down at you with that same even expression, eyes big, soft, and warm as he slides his hand over to cup your jaw in his palm. 

"If you want to stop at any point, just say so, okay? I won't be upset and we can go back to the way things were before. Got it?"

You nod, your throat suddenly too tight to speak. His thumb sweeps over your cheekbone, the tender touch is enough to make your heart skip a beat. There’s no way this is actually happening. That your first kiss is going to be with your 40 year old menace of a neighbor. That you’re going to, how did you put it, get a sex lesson from him. His gaze flicks down to your lips and back up to your eyes and you’re positive you’re no longer able to breathe. 

"Can I kiss you?" he asks softly. You nod. 

You're sure he can hear the thumping of your heart in his own ears as he leans down. His other hand comes to rest on your hip and when his lips touch yours, a soft, tentative pressure, you're not prepared for the electricity that shoots through you.

He's barely done anything and already you feel like you're floating. Your own hands reach out to clutch his shirt, keeping him close, afraid he'll pull away and leave you cold and wanting if you don't. But he stays put, pressing himself against you, his lips working gently against yours. You follow his lead, kissing him back while trying not to overthink it.

It's nothing like the kisses in the movies or the books, where fireworks explode behind your eyelids or where your foot pops up in the air. It's far more subdued, more quiet and subtle. But the warmth that pools low in your belly and the goosebumps that erupt on your skin when his tongue slides against the seam of your lips, light and quick, makes you absolutely melt. 

He pulls back before you can really react, and you're left with a dizzying rush of both blistering desire and excruciating anxiety. You want to pull him back in and never let him go. But your heart is beating so fast you can hardly breathe, your nerves are buzzing, and the urge to run and hide is nearly paralyzing. 

"Was it bad?" you ask tentatively, cheeks heated.

"No" he replies, giving your hip a squeeze as a smirk plays on his lips. "It was fucking awful. Worst kiss of my life"

"Shut up!" you hiss, pushing him away with a hand on his chest. He laughs, the sound easing some of the tension in your body. 

"I'm just teasing" he says, voice dropping lower. "C'mere, we can work on it."

His lips find yours again, and you try not to smile into the kiss but it's hard when you can feel the way his lips are quirked up as well. It doesn’t take much else to get you to relax and let yourself fall into the moment, into the gentle press of his mouth and the warm hands on your hip and your cheek. He swipes his tongue against your lips again, his fingers pressing lightly into the hinge of your jaw to tilt your head back and coax your lips apart.

You let him, sighing as his tongue glides across yours, hot and smooth and sweet. Your hands slide up his chest, finding purchase around his shoulders, and when you move forward, pushing yourself against him, he grunts softly but lets you. He kisses you until the both of you are gasping for air, and when he pulls back, his lips are wet and red and you're certain yours must be as well.

"Better?" you ask, a bit breathless.

"Getting there" he answers with, his breath warm where it fans across your cheek. 

"You're such a liar" you say with a goofy smile.

"Yeah, I know. Now try again, practice makes perfect.” 

You roll your eyes but lean back in nonetheless. It's a bit more heated this time, the feeling of his teeth nibbling on your bottom lip making you squirm. His hand rounds over your hip, palm smoothing to the small of your back to pull you closer, the heat of his body radiating through your clothes and warming your skin. Your hands move on their own accord, no thought behind the action as they slide up to his shoulders and then his neck, your fingers finding home in the curls at the base of his skull. When you give them a slight tug, you're rewarded with a muffled grunt from Joel. Emboldened, you pull back, lips swollen and tingling.

"You’re a good kisser,” you pant. "Is that something people usually say?"

"When it’s true" he says, grinning at you. "And since I know you're gonna ask, I'd say that was a C+, maybe a B-."

You scoff but blush furiously at the smile he flashes, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

"Well then, tell me what to do next. What do I need to know?"

Joel hums as he thinks for a moment. 

"What do you want to do?"

You stare at him for a second, blinking.

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking you" you say, shaking your head a bit.

"Well, how far do you want to take this?"

You swallow hard, suddenly feeling very shy. You can’t deny that when the idea popped in your head it was accompanied by the mental image of you naked, spread out on his bed, but the actual act of asking him, or better yet, actually doing it is... intimidating to say the least. Are you really about to let him go all the way, to see you bare and vulnerable, let him pop your cherry as he would disgustingly put it? All just to “prepare” for a date with a guy who might not even like you that way?

Yeah, probably.

"All the way" you answer. “I want to go all the way” 

He doesn’t pounce on you like you expected, doesn’t press his lips against yours in a frenzied kiss that you had half hoped for. Instead, he simply looks at you, his brown eyes boring into yours, searching.

"Are you sure? You can always say no and you're not gonna lose me as a friend if this isn’t what you actually want. I don’t want you thinking that."

You can't help the laugh that bubbles up and slips out, because of course Joel, your kind, thoughtful Joel, would say that. He's a good man. A great one, even.

"Yes, I'm sure. But if you don't want to, I get it, I can just leave and-"

Joel laughs, the sound traveling up from deep in his chest, the rumble vibrating against you.

"Sweetheart, I wouldn't be doin’ this if I didn't want to. Just makin’ sure this is what you really want."

"I want it.” 

He squeezes your hip and swipes a thumb over your cheekbone once again. 

“Alright then.” He nods, firm and resolute, and then looks around the room. “ We’re not doing it here, though. If you're getting the full Joel Miller experience, we're gonna do it right.” 

Your eyes roll reflexively, but your heart picks up its pace regardless.

"I’m not gonna do anything if you call it that ever again."

"Fine, fine,” he relents. “Let me show you what a good, thorough fucking feels like. Better?"

Your jaw drops, and he's laughing at you, his body shaking with amusement.

"Fuck you" you grumble, shoving him away while trying to hide your coy smile. 

"Yeah, that's what I'm hoping for," he says with a wide, self-assured grin.

"I'm leaving" you declare with a false sense of offense as you rise to your feet. Joel is quick to do the same and before you can take a single step away, he slips a finger through the belt loop of your jeans and tugs you back into him, wrapping an arm around your waist.

"I’ll stop, I’ll stop. I'm sorry" he says, not sounding it one bit.

You huff, but let him pull you closer until you’re pressed against his chest and you have to tilt your head back to look at him.

"I’ll be good. I promise."

"Liar"

"Well, yeah. But I can promise that I'll make you feel good."

You can't help the giggle that spills out and he kisses it away, his lips warm and plush and sweet against yours. The hand not resting on your lower back comes up, curling around the nape of your neck and keeping you close. You sink into him, and the fog creeps in again, dulling the rest of the world, making it seem fuzzy and distant, like the memory of a dream. All you can focus on is him, the warm solid weight of him against you, the strong arms holding you, the way his mouth moves against yours. And then he’s pulling back all too soon and you have to stifle a whine.

"Come on" he says, tugging at your hand.

His bedroom is dim, the little lamp on his nightstand and the faint glow of the moon through the curtains providing the only light. You swallow and take a deep breath as you step inside, your bare toes digging into the plush carpet, his hand warm and large where it grips yours.

He holds onto you as he sits on the edge of the bed. You step forward, letting him pull you between his knees. His hands settle on your hips, and you can feel their heat through the fabric of your shirt.

He doesn’t ask if you're sure again and you’re grateful because you’re not sure if you could form any kind of response right now. Instead, he slides his hands up and under your shirt, fingers dancing across your skin and leaving a trail of goosebumps. Your breath hitches as his hands smooth over your ribs and around to your back, the tips of his fingers mapping out the curve of your spine, skimming over each notch and bump. They climb higher, the fabric of your shirt bunching around his wrists. 

“Can I take this off, baby?”

Your heart jumps to your throat but you nod anyway. He grabs the hem and tugs your shirt up and and you lift your arms so he can slip it off over your head. He tosses it aside, the fabric falling to the floor beside the bed. You’re left exposed, vulnerable and bare, save for the worn out bra you wear, a few too many washes and a few years past its prime.

Your hands itch where they hang by your side with the instinct to cover yourself, hide the imperfections that you know so well, the stretch marks, the softness of your stomach, the way the cups of your bra are just a bit too small and spill over the tops.

But then he’s pressing his lips to the space just above your navel, his scruff tickling your skin and making the muscles in your abdomen jump and twitch. His hands find your waist again, and when his lips continue their path upwards, his palms follow, skimming up your sides, thumbs tracing the outline of your ribs before stopping at the band of your bra.

"This too?" he asks, voice quiet and husky.

"Yeah" you answer with a squeak, and he grins like a kid in a candy store.

His fingers undo the clasp deftness that makes your knees go weak, the straps slipping from your shoulders and the whole thing sliding down your arms, landing somewhere near your shirt. 

"God, baby, look at you" he murmurs, his hands cupping the underside of your breasts, his thumbs sweeping over the tops and then down the slope and around your nipple. Your breath hitches, the gentle touch sending a shiver up your spine. "You're fucking perfect."

The praise is unexpected and it sends a jolt of heat through your core. You whimper quietly and his hands are on you again, the calloused palms rough on the soft skin of your breasts. He kneads the flesh, squeezing gently before rolling your nipples between his fingers, pulling and pinching and teasing. 

He pulls you closer and ducks his head, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. He looks up at you through his lashes, eyes dark and hooded, and his pupils blown wide with desire.

"Can I?" he asks.

"Please."

He leans in and wraps his lips around a peaked nipple, his tongue swirling around the sensitive nub, the gentle heat of his mouth on your skin making your knees weak.

His mouth works on one breast, tongue flicking and teasing while his free hand continues its work on the other. Pleasure builds and coils deep inside, the sensation unfamiliar but certainly not unwelcome. You whimper and he pulls away, releasing your nipple with a wet pop before giving it a sweet parting kiss.

He turns his attention to the other, his teeth grazing over the stiff peak and drawing a whine from your lips. He sighs when your fingers tighten in his hair, pulling at the strands until he groans softly against you. He sucks your other nipple into his mouth, the flat of his tongue pressing against it and dragging up and around, swirling and flicking. You’re already breathless, panting, a thin sheen of sweat glistening on your forehead.

"Feels good, Joel," you whisper shyly. 

"I know, honey" he says, a soft smile pulling at his lips when he pulls away. "Feel good anywhere else?"

He doesn't wait for a response, simply slips a hand between your thighs, cupping you through the denim, the simple action making you squeak.

"Here, huh?" he says, the heel of his palm pressing against you.

You gasp softly and nod, biting your lip, too shy to say anything.

"Get on the bed, baby."

You comply, crawling onto the mattress and scooting backwards towards the pillows, sitting at the head of the bed as you watch him. His eyes never leave you as he pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it onto the floor. Your heart thumps as you stare at his bare chest, his tanned skin dotted with a light dusting of salt and pepper hair. He's broad, his shoulders thick and chest solid. Your fingers burn with the urge to reach out and touch him, so you do, extending a tentative, slightly shaky hand.

He watches you closely, eyes flitting down to the palm pressed against his chest before meeting yours again, his mouth curling into a smile.

"You can touch" he says, reaching down to curl a hand around your wrist and bringing it up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the center of your palm before guiding your hand back down to his chest. "I think most people would enjoy that."

"You're having entirely too much fun with this,” you mumble while your fingers spread out across his pec.  

"It is fun" he counters, his own hand sliding up the inside of your thigh, thumb pressing against the seam of your jeans and rubbing up and down. "But it'll be more fun once these come off"

Your lips part, a puff of air rushing out.

"You gonna take them off?" you ask, the words slipping out, bold and unbidden.

He grins, his brow quirking up.

"Look at you, being all bossy"

"You like it" you say, finally feeling some of the anxiety slipping away, the familiar and comfortable banter between the two of you slipping into place in a new, unfamiliar situation.

His smile takes up nearly his whole face as moves closer. 

“I sure do.” 

He looms over you, bracing himself on an elbow next to your head before ducking down to kiss you, his tongue easily slipping into your mouth, warm and insistent. You sigh into it, your hands finding the warm, bare skin of his back, muscles gliding beneath your palms as you slide them up and around, fingertips digging into his shoulders. He's so warm and solid and you can't help the little noise that slips out, a soft, needy moan. You're about to break the kiss and beg him to touch you, give you something, anything, but he pulls back before you can. 

"Impatient. I like that too" he says, voice barely above a whisper.

He kisses the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, then down your neck, his beard scraping against your skin. He continues his path, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses across your collarbones and down the valley between your breasts, his beard tickling your sternum.

His palm presses into the top of your thigh, and you instinctively open your legs for him, his hand immediately moving to cup you through the denim, thick fingers pressing against the seam and the bundle of nerves just below. Your hips rock up, seeking more pressure and he grins, entirely too pleased with himself right now.

You huff, and he laughs, the sound rumbling in his chest, but he relents, undoing the button and zipper of your jeans and tugging the fabric down, revealing the pair of pink panties underneath. 

Joel sits up, pulling your jeans down your legs and letting them drop off the side of the bed, the sound of the denim hitting the floor indicating that you've officially crossed a line that neither of you can come back from. But if the hungry, desperate look on his face and the way you're practically vibrating underneath him are any indication, neither of you want to.

"I'll start with just my fingers, yeah?" he says, his hands running up the insides of your thighs, touch light and teasing, the tips of his fingers brushing the edge of your panties. You nod dumbly, at a complete loss for words right now.

He ducks his head, his lips landing on the smooth skin stretched over your hip bone. You squirm, ticklish, and he grins. His mouth is a great distraction from his hand, which has found its way back in between your legs, his fingers now pressing against damp fabric.

"Shit" he curses, his touch firm. "Fuckin' soaked already. Am I just that good?" he quips with a smirk.

"Jesus do you ever shut up" you gripe, but the effect is ruined by the whimper that escapes you when his thumb sweeps up, pressing hard against your clit. 

"Oh, that's a pretty sound" he murmurs, repeating the motion to pull out another one, your hips bucking against his hand.

"Now," he starts, his tone shifting to the same one he uses when he's about to impart some life lesson. "This guy you're gonna see, or any man for that matter, should always take care of you before himself. That's just common fuckin' sense. And if he doesn't, you send him on his way" he continues. "Because a man that don't wanna see a woman get off is no fuckin' man at all"

You're about to interrupt, tell him he's an idiot and ask him to please, please, get on with it, but his fingers sliding under the elastic of your panties, swiftly pulling them down your legs steals the breath from your lungs. Your pulse sky rockets and you shift underneath him, crossing your thighs in instinctual effort to hide yourself from him. 

"M'sorry I didn't shave or anything" you blurt out, your throat tight with anxiety and embarrassment once again 

Joel just shakes his head as he pries your legs apart.

"Baby, I could not give less of a shit about that."

"But-"

"No" he says, the word firm, an edge of command to his tone. "You’re not apologizin’ for that. And if a man gives a shit, he's a fuckin' child who doesn't deserve the honor of bein' between these thighs" he says, pushing your knees further apart.

You nod and bite your lip, the words that are just so very Joel, settling in your chest and easing the tension in your body. You let out a long, slow breath and relax, trying to ease the nervousness.

"There ya go" he says, his fingers dancing along your slit, gathering the slick pooling there. You shudder at the gentle touch, your hips rolling up just a bit before you force them back down into the mattress, trying to keep yourself still.

"Nuh-uh. None of that" he says, immediately noticing the movement. He slides his free hand under you, his palm pushing into the small of your back and encouraging you to move again, to lean into your pleasure. "You take what you want, baby. Show me how good it feels. That's all I wanna see."

You squirm and whimper, the simple, almost lazy touch driving you insane. You've touched yourself before, brought yourself over the edge while imagining what it would be like to have the things you read about and watch in videos happen to you. But you've never managed to make yourself feel this good, never felt pleasure so intense, never felt a burning pressure in your abdomen so demanding that it radiates all the way to the tips of your fingers and toes.

And he's barely touched you.

"How's that feel?"

You can't even form the words, so you just nod and hum, the sound a mix of a whimper and a moan, your hips rolling up against his palm. He chuckles, and then the pressure increases, the friction building, his fingers slipping down, collecting more of your wetness to ease the drag against your skin.

He moves his fingers down, down, down, the tip of one circling your entrance, gathering the wetness pooling there. You whine loudly, any shame and modesty you once had replaced entirely with desperate need and pure desire.

"Please, Joel" you whisper, voice shaky.

"I gotcha" he says, dipping his fingertip in, just barely, and pulling a moan from deep in your chest. "Gonna give you what you need"

You groan, a long, low sound as he slowly sinks his finger into you. It's nothing like your own, so perfectly thick and long/ And you found the spot before, the spot that he curls his finger up into, but never at this angle, never with the perfect amount of pressure that he's applying right now. 

"Mmm, look at that" he coos as you clench tightly around his finger.

"Joel, god, feels so good" you whimper pathetically. 

"I know, honey, I know."

You clench again, the cockiness and self-assured attitude that usually gets under your skin now ignites your whole body in an entirely different way. He keeps his eyes on your face, watching as your eyes squeeze shut and your mouth drops open, your head tipping back as the pleasure builds.

"Another" you beg, the fullness not nearly enough.

"Greedy girl" he chides, but he pulls his finger out, and slides two back in. You swear that you could come from this alone, but he doesn't let you, the hand that was supporting your lower back disappearing, only to reappear between your thighs, his thumb circling your clit with firm, steady strokes.

White hot pleasure wraps around the base of your spine, the dual sensations of his fingers and his thumb sending you spiraling. The sounds falling from your lips are unrecognizable, high and desperate as your mind goes blissfully blank, your entire focus on the heat coiling in your abdomen. Your eyebrows pinch together and you bury your face in the pillow next to your head, trying to hide the ridiculous expression you're surely making, but you inhale the traces of his shampoo and cologne that cling to the fabric, the scent pushing you even closer to the edge. 

You try to hold back. Surely you're not supposed to come this quickly, not just from two fingers and a thumb. Surely that's a sign that you're an easy lay, or too inexperienced, or-

"Just let it happen, baby. I can feel it, Just let go" Joel says, his voice cutting through the thoughts racing through your mind, his fingers crooking inside you and dragging across the spot that makes your hips stutter and a cry fall from your lips.

You can't hold back any longer, the pleasure cresting and crashing down around you. You squeeze his fingers, your back arching, the heels of your feet digging into the mattress as you roll your hips up into his touch, seeking more and more and more. And he gives and gives and gives, working you through it and drawing it out for as long as he can before you melt into the mattress, bones and muscles liquid and warm and satisfied.

He pulls his fingers out, and the sudden emptiness draws a disappointed whine from you, his answering chuckle making you smile.

"That was- fuck" you sigh, not quite capable of coherent thought.

"Absolutely mind-blowing? Yeah I know" he teases. You roll your eyes but don't say anything because it's true, and his cocky grin fades into a soft smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he watches you return to Earth. 

"Can I- can I return the favor?" you ask, your gaze flicking down to the noticeable bulge in his jeans.

He grunts and shakes his head.

"Not yet. Got somethin' else in mind."

You frown and push yourself up onto your elbows, watching as he shifts from his position. You're about to ask what he's going to do until he's settling himself on his stomach between your thighs. You suck in a sharp breath as you realize exactly what he's got planned and your heart jumps, anxiety clouding your mind once again. 

He rests his cheek on your thigh, his eyes meeting yours.

"Alright?"

You swallow and nod, licking your lips.

"Yeah. Just... no one's ever-"

"Yeah, I got that much, that's why we're here" he says, smiling smugly when you glare at him. 

"But what if it's not good? Or I don't taste good? Or-"

"Stop" he says, the single word halting your runaway train of thought. "You need lessons in relaxing, not sex. You're so fucking tense all the time"

"Sorry" you say, immediately cringing.

He sighs, his breath ghosting over the skin of your inner thigh, making you shiver. "What did I say about apologizin'?" he says, his tone slightly sharp.

"I know. Sorry- shit, sorry! Fuck!"

He barks out a laugh and you huff, bringing up both hands to scrub over your face.

"See what I mean?"

"Yes, yes, you're very smart and know everything"

He hums and nips at your thigh.

"Damn right I do."

You want to snark back, but his mouth is moving, his lips trailing down the inside of your thigh and towards where you're aching for him, slick and wet and throbbing. He takes his time, laying kisses on your thighs, hips, and stomach, his scruff scraping the sensitive skin, huffing out a laugh when you start to squirm, your patience wearing thin.

His hands smooth over the soft flesh of your inner thighs, urging you to spread them wider before spreading you open with his thumbs, exposing you completely. You feel exposed, vulnerable, and the urge to close your legs and hide yourself from his gaze is overwhelming, the embarrassment making your skin burn. But before you can even think about closing them, his tongue is on you, sliding up the length of you and circling your clit. The moan that escapes you is embarrassingly loud and high pitched, but the mortification is easily swallowed up by the pleasure.

He hums against you, the sound and the feeling sending a shudder through your body. Your hands grip the pillow behind your head and you try not to buck up into his mouth, but your attempts are futile. He doesn't seem to mind though, in fact you think it spurs him on, his tongue flattening against you and lapping at you messily, the wetness he's coaxed from you smearing across his mouth and chin.

The sound is lewd and obscene, the sloppy, slick noises and the soft grunts and groans that rumble in his chest as he works you up. He pulls back, his breath coming out in pants, his chest heaving as he looks up at you, his eyes dark and hooded.

"Don't know what you were worried about" he says, his voice low and raspy. "You taste fuckin' divine"

His beard is shiny and damp, his lips glistening, hair messy from where your fingers were tangled in it. The sight of him looking so completely disheveled and filthy has you clenching around nothing, the ache almost too much to bear.

He doesn't say anything else, just ducks his head and gets back to work, his mouth moving with a renewed urgency, his hands gripping your thighs and pushing them further apart, allowing him better access.

Your eyes roll back and your mouth falls open, a constant stream of moans and whines and babbling pleas and praises falling from your lips, but you're not really sure what you're saying, not really sure of anything except the intoxicating pleasure coursing through your veins.

You hear him moan, can feel the vibration against your skin, and you glance down at him, and that's a mistake. The sight of him, his eyes closed and brows drawn together in concentration, his cheeks hollowed out as he sucks and nips and laps at you and– is he fucking grinding his hips into the mattress?

You're fucked.

A throaty moan tumbles past your lips as your hips start to rock, a rhythm forming as you chase your orgasm. His hands leave your thighs and he slides one arm up, the weight of it resting against your abdomen to keep you still while his other hand snakes down, fingers dipping inside again, finding the spot that makes you see stars.

"Fuck, Joel, please, oh my god, I'm so- please"

He groans in response, the hand on your stomach pressing down harder to meet the two fingers curling and stroking inside of you. You cry out at the increased pressure right as he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking and swirling his tongue around the bud, his fingers moving faster and faster. Flames lick up your spine and spread throughout your body, threatening to burn you alive. 

Your orgasm hits you like a freight train, knocking the wind out of you and turning your limbs to jello. Wave after wave of blinding euphoria crashes over you and all you can do is cling to the pillow and arch your back, your toes curling as he continues to work his fingers and tongue, happily letting you ride his face and grind into his mouth.

He doesn't let up, not until you're a whimpering, trembling mess, physically pushing his head away when it becomes too much. He pulls back reluctantly, a wicked grin plastered to his face, his chin and mouth absolutely soaked. You're panting, struggling to catch your breath as the aftershocks make you shiver despite the content warmth spreading throughout your entire body.You feel sated and sleepy, a bone deep satisfaction making you feel boneless. 

But as you come down from your high, rational thoughts start to filter in and you suddenly remember the reason this all started in the first place.

You're here to learn, he should be teaching you how to please a man.

How to please him. 

You watch as he gets off the bed and wipes his chin with the back of his hand. Your eyes shamelessly rake over him, the dusty pink flush that decorates his neck and chest, the curve of his belly down to the impressive bulge in his jeans. 

You push yourself up, ignoring the way your arms tremble with the effort. He looks at you, his eyes scanning your face no doubt looking for signs of distress.

"You ok?" he asks, eyebrows pinched together in his typical concerned Joel fashion.

"Yeah" you say, a little breathlessly. "But I still want to..."

Your voice trails off and you glance down at his crotch, hoping he gets the message.

"That's alright, baby. It's a lot, we don't-"

"No" you interrupt, a hint of desperation in your voice. "You said you would teach me. Please, Joel. I-I wanna learn" You hope it's a good enough cover to the fact that you really just want him, your original goal forgotten. "I just don't want to embarrass myself" you add, pouting slightly for good measure, praying to god that he can’t detect the underlying want for him and him only.

He watches you for a moment, seemingly contemplating his decision. And then his eyes narrow, because of course he knows. There's never been an instance where you succeeded in lying to this man. He always, always knows when something is off.

"Alright" he says, a slow smile spreading across his face, something mischievous sparkling in his eyes. "Dick sucking class is now in session"

You groan, your face twisting with visible disgust.

"Oh my god, that was terrible."

"What? It's true" he says with a shrug.

"That is- no, no way. Never say those words ever again. Ever." you say, pointing a finger at him accusingly.

"Or what?" he challenges, taking a step towards the bed.

You gulp and lick your lips.

"Or..."

He waits expectantly for a response. You have none, so you just shake your head and look away.

"Yeah, that's what I thought"

You glare at him and then sigh.

"You're a bully"

"Am I?” He asks, taking a step back to give you more room. “ 'Cause you're the one that asked me to teach ya. On your knees, kid. Let's see whatcha got."

You chew on the inside of your cheek, trying to suppress a grin. You don't know how he does it, but his ability to make a joke or a quip out of anything always has a smile tugging at the corner of your lips, even when the jokes are awful and the puns are terrible. Even when the joke is about you getting ready to suck his dick. 

"You're a bully and a pervert" you say, sliding off the bed and sliding to your knees, the plush carpet doing a decent job at protecting your joints.

"And proud of it.”

"Pride is a sin."

"So is premarital sex, so I'll see you in hell, honey"

You snort and look up at him from your place on the floor, grinning widely.

"You're ridiculous"

"You love it"

And that's the thing, isn't it?

Because you do. You love his innate ability to make you laugh, to make you smile even when he's about to take your fucking virginity. He knows how to comfort you, how to put you at ease, when to push you with his teasing and when to pull back and let you take control. You've never met a person who has so effortlessly made their way into your heart.

And here you are, on your knees for him under the false pretense of practicing for a man who's name you can't even remember right now.

You shake your head, the motion clearing the thoughts and the emotions that were swirling in your head, the ones that make you want to stand up and kiss him, kiss him until your lips are numb and you're left gasping for air.

"Joel?" you say his name softly.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Teach me."

Part 2 is already in the works I promise hehehe thank you for reading I hope u all enjoy!!