#I mean shit I use that tag b/c someone at some point told me they want text posts tagged so they don't have to see them

[griffintail]

Okay here’s the request I was thinking of - what if Karl, Mr. Time Travel himself, brings together all the children from all the timelines with all the different parents because his daughter from his own timeline is trapped in the Inbetween as punishment for Karl escaping to the other side, and what’s worse is that in his own timeline, the SMP members are beginning to forget she ever existed. He can’t go get her himself because the Inbetween knows all the tricks he’d pull since he was connected for such a long time. Just an idea, I’d love to see how the different readers with different parents would interact.

THIS WAS INSANE TO WRITE! It's also a lot longer than planned B) Hope you enjoy! Also! Someone tell me how the fuck I tag this XD Do I add all the parent pairings or not. Help??

The Many Faces of (Y/N)

Deals with Lost Ones Canon but this will not be canon and not everything mentioned is canon.

Warnings: Light angst, Minor Fight Scenes, Multiple Realities and Timelines, The Inbetween

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was rather quick, the process. Some fell in, some simply staggered forward, some simply stood. Yet, all confused.

One with an (F/C) bandana was the first to react, leaping onto her feet, having been one to fall, her eyes locking onto the one with a smiley mask on the side of her face, that gave the bandana wearer bad memories. The bandana brandished her sword and the mask wearer reacted with the pull of an axe.

“Who the hell are you!” She demanded to the mask.

“Who am I? Who the hell are you! Put that sword away before you hurt yourself.”

“Oh, fuck off bitch!” She snapped.

One wearing a cape pulled her sword slightly from its sheath as she looked at the two similar faces.

“Why don’t we all calm down?” The cape said.

“Not until she tells me who the fuck she is! Especially with that fucking mask!”

One in a fox jacket took a step back from the rising tension as one in a split black and white dress shifted nervously at the anger, too afraid to speak.

“Hey! Let’s calm ourselves!” A girl in a green hat stepped between the trio.

“Why the hell do you all look like me!” The bandana exclaimed.

“We all look like each other dumbass.” The cape said as she fully brought out her sword. “Now put. Your weapon. Away.”

The girl in the bandana clenched her jaw as she looked at the one in the mask, steeling herself before darting around the one in the hat and went for her.

“Fuck you!”

A girl with a tiara went to stop the girl attacking as one dressed in a pair of overalls yelped in surprise when another one wearing a L’Manberg uniform intercepted the attack. The L’Manberg uniform held a bow and shot the sword out of the bandana wearer's hand.

“Ladies, can we please use our words instead?” She asked, putting the bow on her back as she dusted her uniform off. “No need for such weapons.”

“FUCK OFF! This isn’t your problem!” The bandana wearer protested.

Tense stood between the similar-looking teenagers, all able to tell the difference between each other by only their clothing.

Karl stood, still trying to get a word in when the final girl a blue hoodie came over to him, tugging on his hoodie sleeve. He looked at her and she held a piece of blue to him smiling.

“You looked stressed. Here, have some blue. Calm yourself.”

He took the blue from her, some of his worries melting but not enough.

“Oh dear. You filled the blue. Are you alright?” She asked him.

“No, that’s why I need to talk to everyone,” Karl told her.

“Ok.” She nodded, simply walking in between the tension, everyone mildly shocked by her boldness. “Hi! I’m (Y/N). You guys look a lot like me and that’s pretty cool! But he wants to talk to us. It will make him feel better.”

She pointed at Karl and everyone still stared at her shocked for a moment before finally giving Karl their attention.

“Hello…Uh, sorry about all this. I needed help and I had nowhere else to go.” He said.

“Karl?” The mask wearer questioned, putting her axe away.

“Yes. I’m not…your Karls though.” He said as the bandana wearer picked up her sword, worrying him, but she sheathed it.

With her weapon away, the cape wearer put hers away as well as she spoke. “Our Karls?”

He nodded. “I’m Karl from my universe. This is a place outside all of our universes.”

The girl in the bandana went slightly crossed-eyed as the one in the fox jacket came forward.

“Great, magic and crap. Why are we here?” She asked.

“The thing that makes this all possible, the Inbetween, it took…it took my daughter from me as punishment. It knows all my tricks, so I needed to do something completely unpredictable, even by the Inbetween.”

“And bringing forward a bunch of…us, was your battle plan?” The L’Manberg uniform crossed her arms. “We’re the same person.”

“I mean, we’re not.” The tiara said. “Some of us immediately drew arms as some of us stayed calm or moved away. We’re all even dressed differently.”

“Wait, what’s different about our universes?” The bandana brought back to that subject.

“You all have different fathers. That’s the most defining factor I went for.” Karl said. “I couldn’t bring several of my daughter, that’d be predictable. But several of you…”

“That’s a multitude of different possibilities. We’re all bound to do something different.” Green hat nodded.

“Well, you got to be Phil’s kid, he’d only wear a hat that fucking stupid.” The bandana snorted.

“Hey!” The green hat snapped before crossing her arms. “And you must be Tommy’s, nobody has a mouth that bad.”

“Fuck you! My dad’s amazing.” She held up her nose.

“He’s my brother and he’s an idiot.” She said, the one wearing a cape and L’Manberg uniform snorting.

“You wanna go bitch!” She challenged, putting a hand on her sword handle.

“No more weapons. Let’s introduce ourselves civically.” The L’Manberg uniform said, putting a hand on Tommy’s child's shoulder. “I’m Wilbur’s child.”

“That’s ironic coming from Wilbur’s kid.” Tommy’s daughter muttered.

“What does that mean?” She frowned.

“Nothing.” The other scoffed.

“I’m Tubbo’s.” The girl in overalls stepped forward.

“I’m Fundy’s.” The fox jacket raised her hand, Tommy’s daughter snickering about a furry and getting a glare in return.

“I’m Ranboo’s.” The black and white dress piped up timidly.

“I’m Ghostbur’s!” The blue hoodie grinned, make Wilbur’s child frown.

“I’m Eret’s.” The tiara curtsied.

“I’m Techno’s.” The cape crossed her arms.

“I’m Dream’s.” The mask said last.

“Ew.” Tommy’s daughter scrunched up her nose.

“Fuck off brat.” She scoffed.

“Bitch!” The other went forward but Phil’s child grabbed the back of her shirt to stop her.

“I know all of you have different nicknames from your fathers.” Karl stepped in to stop another fight before it started. “If we used them, it would be easier to talk to each other since you’re all named (Y/N). I…I call my daughter little traveler.”

“My dad calls me little blue!” The blue hoodie smiled widely.

“My father calls me Little Blade or goddess.”

“Little angel.” The bucket hat let go of the pouting girl.

“Big (F/L)!” The girl grinned now, lying about the big part.

“Little star.”

“Little Boo or Enderman.”

“Kit.” The fox jacket answered, not saying her other names.

“Little lamb or bee, whichever you like.”

“Princess.”

The girl with the smiley mask frowned, crossing her arms slightly. She didn’t exactly want these people to call her sweetheart. She thought of nicknames, little flame, little muffin, little color, but none of those were from her dad…except one.

“Little terror.” She looked away.

“Great.” Karl nodded. “Now that you all have different names we can use, we can make a plan…I-I’ve been trying to get out of the Inbetween, stop my traveling as I was forgetting too much. It didn’t like that and took (Y/N). Now it seems everyone in my world is forgetting her…I need to get her back.”

“Where exactly is she being kept?” Star asked.

“What kind of enemies will there be?” Blade questioned.

“Is it possible to just sneak in?” Angel added.

“I don’t know exactly where she’s being kept, I just know she’s deep in the Inbetween. And, with it being a powerful entity, it can conjure any enemies it wants and can see just about anything. That’s where the unpredictable patterns come in.” Karl nodded.

“Right, well, then let’s go fuck some shit up.” (F/L) grinned.

“We can’t just run in.” Star rolled her eyes. “Raise your hands if you can fight.”

Everyone raised their hands besides Blue and Boo gave a halfhearted raise.

“What’s with you?” Star nodded at Boo.

“I just don’t like fighting unless I need to.” Boo shrugged.

“Well, you’ll need to here, and you. Why can’t you fight?” Star asked Blue.

Blue shifted a bit nervously now as (F/L) scoffed, earning Star’s attention.

“She’s fucking Ghostbur’s kid. She won’t even be able to look at a fight.” (F/L) said.

“Who the hell is Ghostbur?” Star crossed her arms now.

(F/L) opened her mouth then closed it, frowning. Star was Wilbur’s kid. Meaning, she knew Alivebur but wouldn’t know…(F/L) looked at Karl with a few others, who shifted nervously himself.

“You’re all from different time periods in the SMP, some with different courses.”

“Hold up! That’s why you’re wearing a L’Manberg uniform?!” (F/L) whipped around to Star.

“I hardly see why—”

“He…Did you see Pogtopia?”

“(F/L).” Blade warned slightly as she stepped over, seeing not only Star stiffen but Kit and Lamb as well.

“I-I did.” Star nodded.

“How’d it end?”

“(F/L),” Angel said as well now.

“No, I need to know.”

“We won. We went home, what about it?” Star crossed her arms and gripped onto them.

“Because L’Manberg is gone. Blown up, by Wilbur. Who’s now.” (F/L) pointed at Blue, who was fiddling with a piece of blue. “Ghostbur.”

“That’s…Dad would never resort to such tactics.” Star clenched her hands. “Now we have different things to discuss rather than your wild accusations.”

“Wild huh? He—” (F/L) went to continue.

She was just scared and upset with old thoughts and memories that felt like they were surrounding her. She just wanted to take her anger out and didn’t see how she upsetting others around her. Angel did though and grabbed the back of her shirt, pulling her back with enough force, making (F/L) fall on her ass.

“You’re upsetting everyone. So shut up.” She told her.

(F/L) gripped her hands but did indeed see a few unsettled and an upset face on Blue as she stared at the piece of blue in her hands.

“Where do we start?” Terror asked this time. “We have to start somewhere to look.”

“I can send all of you into the heart of it all but I can’t come with. All I can offer are notes.” Karl told them, holding out a journal, which Boo stepped forward to take.

“Because it can predict you.” Blade nodded.

“So, we’re going in there half blind?” Kit huffed.

“I don’t want to send any of you in there.” Karl defended. “But I…I have no other options past this. Please, I hate to ask this, but please help me get my little traveler back.”

(F/L) stood up and dusted herself off. “Sure, whatever, as long as I can fuck shit up.”

Blade gave her a sharp whack on the back of her head and she glared at her.

“Alright, well then…everyone willing, raise your hand.” Angel stepped forward.

Star raised her hand and following after was Terror. (F/L) and Blade raised their hands next as Blue followed suit. Kit sighed, before raising her hand as Lamb nodded raising her hand and Princess as well. Boo hesitated before raising her hand. Everyone was willing to help.

“Then we’re as ready as we’ll ever be.” Terror nodded.

“Ok, everyone, please be careful. I hope to see you soon.” Karl said as he closed his eyes before reciting a few words, creating a new portal.

The different versions of the teenager looked at each other before they each jumped in, Blue being the last as she waved a happy bye to Karl. The portal closed and Karl sighed. He hoped everyone would be alright…

All the girls stood in an empty room a few doors at their disposal, several of them resting hands on their weapons.

“Alright, where do we start?” Blade asked.

“Well, there’s no time like the present!” (F/L) said, going to a random door as Boo was looking through Karl’s book.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Lamb warned her, following quickly.

“We’ll be fine.” She opened the door and there was a normal-looking hallway. “See? Nothing to worry about. Now come on, we got shit to wreck. Treasure to possibly find.”

“How are we all the same person?” Star muttered, Lamb looking over at the others in question. “Come on.”

Everyone went to follow until Boo spoke up.

“Be careful. Karl says as soon as the Inbetween knows we’re here, it will try and trick us. Turn us around. We’re going to have to be careful.” She said as she looked at the others.

“Then let’s make as much ground as we can before it figures out.” Blade nodded.

Boo closed the book before everyone started making their way down the hall, (F/L) in front with a hand on her sword. The hallway was purely white with columns holding up the ceiling above them, a few plants held on tables but after that, there was nothing else. No doors leading anywhere.

“How do we know it doesn’t already know we’re here and we’re about to walk down this hallway endlessly?” Kit asked, frowning as she looked to Blue next to her as she just hummed happily.

“I suppose we won’t know unless we keep going.” Terror mumbled.

“Would you guys stop complaining? I have a great sense of direction and I know this is the right way.” (F/L) rolled her eyes.

It was another good five minutes of walking before they finally reached one door at the end of the hallway.

“Thank fuck.” (F/L) huffed before opening the door. “Oh, for the love of--!”

Inside was a square room with different openings. This time though, they could see inside various looking rooms.

“Where the hell do, we go?” (F/L) crossed her arms as everyone gathered into the square room.

“What happened to your great sense of direction?” Blade snorted.

“Fuck off.”

“You got anything back there, Ender?” Star looked at her.

“Not much,” Boo muttered as she flipped the page. “Just that the further we go in, the deeper we get in.”

“And Karl said his kid will be deep in.” Angel put her hands on her hips. “So, we need to go through as many rooms as possible before we’re caught.”

“So, no more five-minute hallways.” Terror smirked.

“We can still go bitch!” (F/L) threatened.

“Well, maybe we should go in the nicer-looking room,” Lamb suggested.

“No, we need one with a door close by,” Star said, looking through the various rooms, ranging from being outdoors to an actual room.

“The courtyard looks safest; we can see nothing’s there and the doors just across it.” Princess pointed out.

“Yeah, it looks like the best way.” Star nodded. “Come on.”

The group walked through the door and with ease, went into a wider hallway, following that once more down till they came to a new doorway. It was much of the same cycle, they’d go through door after door, trying to get deeper into dimensions they didn’t understand and where they had no concept of time. They didn’t do much exploring, wishing to complete the work given, though some like Kit and (F/L) were a little eager to grab anything shiny while Blue grabbed several blue things she spotted.

As they were walking down another hallway that had other corridors, that was currently leading to dead ends, Star quickly hid in one of the corridors as she was in the lead as she hissed;

“Hide!”

Everyone was quick to follow her, some in the corridor across from her and some with her, all except Blue. Terror grabbed her though and pulled her into the one across from Star. The girls all looked to see something they’ve never seen. A human figure made completely of metal, but not like armor. It was pure metal everywhere.

“Boo?” Star whispered to the girl on her side and she was frantically flipping through the book as she tried to figure out what they were looking at.

“I-I don’t know.” She whispered back.

Kit stared at the figure walking from all of them and saw a faint red glow within the metal.

“It’s blocking the next door.” (F/L) hissed to her group on the other side. “Let’s just kill it, it’s obviously a mob of…some sort.”

“And how do you want to do that?” Terror motioned to it. “It’s made of metal.”

“And redstone.” Kit muttered.

(F/L), Terror, Princess, and Blue looked at the girl. Kit took a deep breath.

“It’s running on redstone. See the faint glow? It’s being powered by it.”

“What the hell is that?” (F/L) looked at it with wide eyes as Star frowned over at the others, unable to hear what they were staying.

“You break the circuit,” Fundy told Kit as he brushed the redstone away from the piston he set up with his sword and the piston went down. “You take away the power.”

“We need it out of the way and if we break the circuit, it doesn’t have power. I got it.” Kit said before sneaking out.

Star motioned furiously in a panic to know what was going on as Kit silently came up behind the thing. Years of practice helped as she quietly pulled her sword, seeing a redstone connection on the thing’s neck exposed before she swung her sword. She froze when it turned suddenly and caught her sword, staring at her with glowing red eyes.

“Fuck.” Star hissed before coming out, bow drawn. “Kit duck!”

Kit let go of the sword and dropped before Star let an arrow fly and hit its mark where Kit had been aiming earlier. The glowing eyes faded into darkness and Kit took a deep breath but panicked as the thing came falling forward. Lamb came swooping in and pulled Kit out of the way as it crashed down with a loud thud.

“That was close.” Kit muttered.

“What the hell was that?” Blade asked.

“We needed to get past it.” (F/L) motioned as all the girls came out of their hallways. “Kit saw an opportunity and took it to help us.”

“We don’t even know what this thing is!” Star argued.

“Whatever the hell it is, it was powered by redstone.” Kit brushed herself off after Lamb helped her up. “We broke its circuit.”

“Redstone?” Terror tilted her head slightly as she looked at the thing of metal.

“I think everyone forgot.” Everyone looked at Angel. “We were spotted, so let’s go mates before the Inbetween knows where we are.”

“Right.” Star nodded. “Let’s get moving quickly.”

She took lead once again to the door and everyone followed, Kit putting a hand on (F/L)’s shoulder after she gathered her sword.

“Thanks.”

“It was a good plan.” (F/L) shrugged before the pair continued.

They all entered the room to find a wide, empty room with…

“No doors. Great, it knows we’re here.” Blade muttered.

Kit scratched the back of her head in embarrassment.

“It was always going to find us.” (F/L) said. “Now, let’s find the damn door. Boo said it would fuck with us, so there’s going to be a door.”

Everyone, but Boo who was continuing to read the little facts they had, split up into the room a few going along the walls and a few checking the floor, even Blue after some convincing. They had all had their fair share of secret rooms and knew different ways to find them.

“Karl calls that thing out there a robot,” Boo told the others as she traced a hand over Karl’s drawing. “Kit was right, it was being powered by a redstone block core. Breaking one part of the circuit shuts it down.”

Kit smiled to herself for being right as she continued to knock along the wall.

“Hey.” Princess call tapping her heel against the ground hard as she heard something hollow under the tile. “I think I found it. The tile is solid though.”

“I got it.” Terror took off her axe. “Everyone, back up.”

Everyone stepped back before Terror held her axe high then slammed it on the tile. A crack appeared and began to spider web. Terror stepped back to the group before the ground broke open into a new room.

“There could be anything down there.” Blade said gripping her sword hilt. “So, everyone be ready.”

With simultaneous nods from everyone but Boo and Blue, all the girls jumped down and landed on the floor below. The good news was they could see the door a bit a ways from their group, the bad news was the several soldiers from different eras in time that stood in front of them, outnumbering them.

“To the door!” Angel yelled before starting the sprint over, nobody arguing as they ran with her.

Now behind them, the soldiers gave a battle cry and charged. Boo put the book in her bag to pull off her shield with (F/L) and Lamb and the trio blocked arrows that came from a few archers. Star retaliated in their retreats with a few arrows of their own but the soldiers would fall to dust when her arrows would hit their marks.

“What the hell is this?!” Star shouted.

“Doesn’t matter! The door!” Blade told her.

Angel flung the door open and held it open to let everyone run in before slipping in herself and slamming it shut…the door disappearing. She took a moment to catch her breath.

“I hate this.” (F/L) muttered and Angel turned to look at a thin bridge to the next door.

“We have to go forward.” Star put her bow away.

“Fuck me.” Terror shook her head as she looked over to see nothing but Void. “Alright. Slow across. Here we go, ladies.”

Nothing happened in the room, everyone just going across the bridge slowly, one by one. There was fear the door behind them would reappear but it never did. From there, it became much of the same.

The Inbetween messed with them through every door. May it be scares of long drops or hordes of enemies they often ran from, they saw a lot, though it never discouraged them. They didn’t fear, they continued to work. They made it room from room, completed puzzle after puzzle, passed enemy after enemy. All of this was honestly nothing more than they’d seen before. Every one of them had seen their fair share of battles and traps. It was nothing more.

They all pulled their weight as well. Blade, Angel, and Terror were doing well with holding enemies off with their fighting skills. Boo was able to call out a few traps with the knowledge of the book she had made through after so many rooms. Star, Kit, Lamb, and Princess were excellent at solving puzzles. Blue was also wonderful moral support.

“We must have made it through hundreds of rooms by now.” (F/L) huffed as they came into a large white room.

“Ender only knows.” Terror muttered.

“Hey, that door is different.” Star pointed out.

It was true. Across the large room from them was a large, heavy-looking metal door.

“We have to be extremely deep in.” (F/L) reasoned. “So that’s where Traveler must be.”

“Yeah, but this is too easy. An empty room with the one door we need? It’s a trap.” Blade muttered.

“What room hasn’t been a trap?” (F/L) threw out. “Let’s go.”

She went forward and everyone shared a look before following after her carefully. Just as Blade suspected, goop moved along the floor as they took several steps in. Everyone froze, having never seen anything like this yet in the hundreds of rooms they had gone through. Weapons were drawn as the girls all lined up side by side, other than Blue and Boo, who were a step behind everyone.

This had to be the last trap before the end and they’d succeed so they could all go home.

They waited for the goop to do anything but the last thing they expected was for it to start to take human-like shapes and all girls were gripped by fear.

In front of Blade stood Quackity holding an axe with a wicked grin.

In front of Star stood Schlatt with a smirk and hands in his pockets.

In front of Angel stood Tubbo with a decree in his hand.

In front of Princess stood Dream with an axe as well.

In front of Kit stood another Dream with a crossbow.

In front of Terror stood a third Dream with his mask fully on and hands in his hoodie.

In front of Lamb stood Sapnap with a flint and steel.

In front of Boo stood Ranboo with two purple eyes.

In front of Blue stood Wilbur holding a stick of dynamite.

In front of (F/L) stood a final Dream smirking with two discs in his hand.

In front of each girl stood their worst fears.

Blade gripped onto her sword tighter as she felt smaller like she had the first time she saw Quackity as Star’s throat closed; no words available. Angel felt like the walls were closing in and she was stuck once more as Princess remembered all the meetings her father had with Dream. Kit remembered her father taking ten paces from Dream as Terror shook slightly staring at her father. Lamb heard the sounds of sparking fire as Boo saw a terrifying man looming over her and Blue heard the whispers of who her father really was.

(F/L)…(F/L) merely stared before she took a step forward and gripped onto her sword. The Dream in front of her frowned before going for a sword on his hip. (F/L) snarled before leaping forward and slashing through the Dream before he pulled his sword. The goop’s image broke as it moved back before turning into another Wilbur holding dynamite. (F/L) simply spun and sliced up. The goop turned into Tubbo in a president’s uniform and she sliced down once more.

The goop backed off a bit as (F/L) let out a breath.

“They’re not real. You’ve faced these fears before!” (F/L) told them. “It’s pulling from your past so you’re stronger now than these fears. So, FUCK ‘EM! KNOCK THEM DOWN!”

The goop in front of her turned into a dirty and beat-up Tommy and she screamed.

“FUCK YOU BASTARD!”

She struck again and it inspired the other girls. Blade rushed the Quackity, spinning out of the way of the axe, cape flying as she cut through him. Star pulled her bow with speed and fired through the Schlatt’s forehead. Angel knocked the decree out of Tubbo’s hand as she rushed him before cutting through him. Princess weaved through attacks by the Dream with elegance before striking him. Kit ducked and nimbly went past the second Dream’s arrows before managing to land a hit.

Terror gripped onto her axe before facing combat with the image of her father. Fires sprung up around Lamb as she sprinted but she managed through them before leading over one and landing her sword on its mark. Boo and Blue, however, were defenseless. Boo was taking steps back from the looming form of the enderwalked hybrid as Blue shook and held her ears as the Wilbur spoke to her as he got close to her.

“This is who I really am (Y/N), and you know it. You know everything! You remember. You can’t keep it all out!” The Wilbur mocked.

Star and Blade noticed and before the goop in front of either of them reformed they sprung into action. Star aimed her bow at the ender hybrid and fired. The hybrid teleported and then appeared in front of her. She startled before pulling another arrow and stabbing the hybrid in the side making it fall to goop. Blade rushed to the Wilbur and slashed him down before he lit the dynamite.

(F/L) just struck down a Technoblade when she heard the clashing of weapons then a scream. She looked back and saw Terror had lost to her fear. (F/L) clenched her jaw before she turned and rushed.

“SUCK THIS GREEN BOI!” (F/L) cried cutting down the Dream as he had raised his axe over Terror.

(F/L) let out heavy breaths before holding a hand out to Terror. Terror stared at her hand before taking it and (F/L) pulled her up.

“I don’t know what he did to you, but fuck him.” (F/L) told her as she looked to see both of their goop piles retreating and a few of the others’ goop as well after they struck down a few more fears.

“Thanks.” Terror muttered as Blade struck down an angry Fundy for Blue before that goop retreated.

“Whatever.” (F/L) mumbled before seeing all the goop was gone. “To the door now!”

She didn’t push though as everyone took deep breaths and regained steady footing. She’d faced the fears before but it still struck her core. Though she wouldn’t let it show. She had to be strong and it was how she helped greatly on this adventure with her determination to strike down her fears.

Blue was now clutching a piece of blue as she handed out a few pieces to the others. Everyone took one at the very least as they gathered themselves.

“Alright.” Star took out a breath. “Let’s go get Traveler.”

They all walked forward as one to the door, (F/L) tall in front. Shouldering the door open, as it was indeed heavy, they found themselves inside indeed a prison block. There were a few other strange creatures and people around in different cells but they had only one person to find. That’s where they spotted the heavily guarded cage where five guards stood armed with different weapons in front of the cage suspended in the air. Inside, on the floor, sat a girl in a multicolored hoodie similar to Karl’s.

“We found her, now what? We can’t exactly show up armed like this. They’ll get reinforcements by the hundreds if they know we made it to the end.” Kit pointed at the armed forces.

“You’re right, we need a distraction.” Star looked around.

“…Or we need someone unarmed.” (F/L) said before looking at Blue and Boo.

“Oh, you’re not serious.” Boo went slack.

“You guys aren’t a threat.” Terror reasoned. “Just enough time for the rest of us to flank them and keep them in one place.”

“I hate this,” Boo muttered. “Come on Blue. Let’s go make friends.”

Blue’s eyes lit up and grinned before rushing out, making Boo startle and race after her. The others split up and went on either side.

From the cage, Traveler looked up hearing all the talking going on below her, and stood as she saw a different version of herself in a blue hoodie and another in a black and white dress.

“Hi! I’m Blue! You want to be friends?” The blue hooded girl beamed as the black and white dress shifted nervously.

“This is all that’s left?” One of the guards laughed as they approached the two girls. “You have no weapons.”

“We-We’re not fighters,” Boo mumbled, taking the back of Blue’s hoodie to pull her back from the guard.

“Run! Get out of here!” Traveler shouted.

“One less problem to worry about then.” The approaching guard stopped and raised their weapon.

Boo stiffened as Traveler shouted shaking the bars of their cage when she went silent as an arrow pierced through the guard’s weapon and sent it crashing to the floor.

“I’ll have you find it’s not very appropriate to point a weapon at a lady.” Star notched a new arrow and pointed the bow at the guard. “Knees, now.”

One guard tried to run to get help only to find Angel in front of them with a shield.

“Hey mate.” She grinned before slamming the shield into them, knocking them out.

Blade rushed another guard and tripped them over and knocked them out with the hilt of her sword. (F/L) and Lamb corned one between them and Lamb knocked them out as well. Kit jumped on the back of the last one startling them and causing them to move forward where Princess simply tripped the guard, making them fall flat on their face, knocking them out cold. The last guard got on their knees as Star came over. She elbowed them in the back of the head and they fell over.

“I thought you were about words.” (F/L) joked.

“Fuck off child.”

“We’re the same age!!” She threw up her arms as Kit went over to the mechanism holding up Traveler’s cage.

“Who are all of you?” Traveler asked.

“You.” Most of the group answered.

“We’re you with different dads,” Boo answered more clearly.

“Really? Wow…” Traveler muttered. “Do you know where my dad is?”

“You’re in luck. He sent us. And he said you might be able to give us some sort of reward—”

Blade smacked (F/L) on the back of the head making her glare at her.

“Ignore her. He did send us to confuse the Inbetween and here we are.” Star said.

Kit let out a noise of victory before managing to lower the cage.

“Back up.” Terror instructed Traveler and she stepped back.

Terror struck the lock on the door with her axe and it shattered. Traveler came out grinning.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet all of you.”

They all gave various gestures of greeting before an alarm sounded. The group bunched up together, pulling out their weapons.

“We’re going to have to go through all those doors again,” Princess said.

“We might need to fight to the door.” Blade reasoned and Blue whimpered.

“No, we won’t.” Traveler told them. “Everyone, grab on to each other and someone hold onto me.”

Everyone shared a look but they had to trust themself they supposed. Star and (F/L) grabbed onto Traveler’s shoulders as everyone held onto one another. Hundreds of guards rushed to the girls as Traveler took a deep breath then closed her eyes. She mumbled words under her breath, none of the girls understood as she also made several hand gestures. Wind picked up around them, actually pushing guards back before Traveler shouted incoherent words to everyone else before clapping her hands.

A thunderous sound echoed out before everyone stumbled and fell.

“(Y/N)!” Karl shouted with delight as he rushed over and pulled his daughter into his arms. “You’re ok. You’re back!”

He laughed as he hugged her tightly as Traveler gave a tired laugh herself.

“Hey, dad. Yeah…I got us all home.”

“Thank Ender you’re ok my little traveler.” Karl let out a breath of relief before looking at the other versions of his daughter, getting up. “Thank you, all of you.”

“It was nothing.” (F/L) waved her hand. “It was easy.”

There were various eye rolls as Karl smiled at (F/L)’s statement before he stood up.

“It was a lot,” Star admitted. “But we all pulled our own weights and even Traveler saved us in the end, using something to get us right back here rather than going through those doors once more.”

Karl smiled at Traveler, who still sat on the ground, and waved her hand.

“It was nothing.” She mumbled.

“She won’t have energy for a while but I’m glad you all got out safely. I’m very proud of little traveler and all of you. And now, I’ll send you home.”

“Right, home. As weird as it is to see…well myself. I might actually miss you guys.” (F/L) admitted. “You guys are ok.”

Terror gave a snort. “Thanks (F/L). But I’ll miss all of you too. All of your personalities are kind of refreshing…”

“When are we even going to appear at our homes, Karl?” Lamb asked.

“You’ll appear a few moments after you left,” Karl answered.

“So, it will be like nothing ever happened.” Blade said.

“Will we remember?” Boo questioned.

“I…debated not letting anyone remember, even myself.” That made everyone’s eyes go wide. “But I think it would be kinder to let everyone remember that wants to.”

“Hell, yeah I want to.” (F/L) declared.

“You just can’t tell anyone about it, only your Karl’s.” Karl finished.

It weighed on a few of the group as (F/L) nodded.

“I’m fine with that.”

“I’m pretty good with secrets, so I want to remember.” Terror agreed.

“It was…an interesting experience. I don’t want to soon forget it.” Star said.

“I learned a few things I’d like to keep.” Blade nodded.

“Ah, why the hell not remember mate?” Angel shrugged.

“It wasn’t something you see every day so I wish to remember it to learn.” Princess put her hands behind her back.

“It was pretty cool at some points, so let’s remember.” Lamb declared.

“I learned a few things I could use at home so I need to remember.” Kit grinned.

“I made friends and I don’t want to forget them!” Blue smiled brightly.

“I guess if everyone else is going to remember, I’d be like my dad and be the only one to forget if I said yes to forgetting. So, I think I’ll pass on forgetting and remember.” Boo decided.

“Then, everyone can go home and they’ll remember everything they saw. You just have to keep it to yourselves and your Karl.”

“And hey, if you ever need us again. You can give us a call and we’ll kick the Inbetween’s ass!” (F/L) smirked.

Karl chuckled before nodding. “I’ll remember that. For now.”

Karl took out a book, reciting words from its pages before ten portals opened, each one leading to where each girl had last been moments before.

“Everyone go home to your families,” Karl told them.

“Well…Peace out bitches!” (F/L) saluted to them before diving into her portal with a scream and it closed.

“Ender, she’s just like Tommy,” Star muttered before giving a bow. “Goodbye.”

And she stepped through her portal and disappeared.

“Good luck.” Blade waved and left.

“Till we meet again.” Terror adjusted her mask as she went in.

“Bye friends!” Blue grinned before falling through her portal.

“To new friendships.” Angel nodded.

“To new friendships.” Kit agreed before they stepped through their separate ones.

“To new adventures.” Princess shrugged as she went through.

“My Karl better be ready for a long talk.” Lamb stepped through as Karl laughed.

“To new memories.” Boo went to step through but stopped. “Ah! Your book. Here, I added a few notes myself so you know about everything in there.”

Karl took the book from the girl in the black and white dress. The girl waved before stepping through her portal. He opened it as he sat next to his (Y/N). Inside was pristine handwriting noting down several pages of things about the Inbetween that Karl didn’t know. Alongside it was notes about the others like (F/L)’s and Blade’s different fighting styles or Princess’ elegance as she moved through enemies.

“I’m pretty cool where ever I’m from.” Traveler smiled tiredly.

Karl chuckled as he hugged her tightly and kissing the top of her head. “Yes, you are my little traveler. Let’s finally get you home…”

Karl had her and herselves to thank from her own safe return. He’d be forever grateful.

[faaun]

heyo, i just saw your tags about the fear of being manipulative. as someone who used to have that fear real bad but has overcome it, i just wanted to give u some insight, in case it helps. so, a few things..

your ex, and whoever else instilled that fear in you, is/was likely projecting. they tried to make u think that you were the problem so that any mistreatment they gave u felt 'deserved.' *that* is toxic manipulation.

manipulation is not inherently bad. HERE'S WHAT I MEAN BY THIS. manipulation just means to skillfully handle/control something. if i type on a keyboard, as i am now, i am manipulating my fingers. if i take my dog on a walk, i am manipulating my dog. it sounds silly, but i mention it b/c i feel like 'manipulation' as a derogatory term gets thrown around a LOT these days, which can freak out those of us who have been mistreated/abused. there are so many people online saying things like 'if you like [insert popular interest] then you are a manipulator.' you know what i mean? and shit like that can really feed into the fear. manipulation is not always deliberate or negative.

this leads me to my next point. toxic manipulation of another person is deliberate. the term 'skillfully' in the definition, in my opinion, implies this. if you are not trying to profit off of somebody (metaphorically, albeit literally as well), you're not necessarily manipulating someone. abuse thrives when there is an imbalance of power in the relationship - one person has more power than the other, particularly at the cost of the other person's freedom/autonomy/wellbeing/safety/happiness/etc. manipulation seeks to maintain that control and power imbalance.

asking to get your needs met by someone is not toxic manipulation. so many of us who have been mistreated have been led to believe that it is, that we're bad people for wanting to feel safe and fulfilled in our relationships and in life more generally. but every person in this whole world has needs - you included. we all deserve to see those needs being met. abuse makes us think that some people's needs matter more than others, therefore we dont deserve to ask for more, to 'take' from others. but that is not the case. you are allowed to ask for more. you are allowed to inhabit space. you deserve safety and communication and fulfillment and honesty and all good things.

lastly! the fact that you are (painfully) aware that you dont want to sound manipulative is pretty solid evidence that you're not a manipulative person. again, toxic manipulation is deliberate, and so often abusers are aware that they are making the other person feel like shit yet they dont care because they have something to gain from it. if you are super conscious of the other person's feelings and you genuinely dont want to hurt/manipulate them, i think you're doing pretty alright. you clearly possess a lot of empathy and compassion, and that's important.

okay maybe one more point. you deserve to turn that empathy and compassion inwards, the same stuff you show other people. it's not selfish. i used to have a supervisor at work who told me 'you're not selfish, you're being self-ish.' what he meant by that, was that i was honouring myself and taking myself into consideration. it was a silly ol saying but it had some truth to it. besides, we can show up a lot better for other people when we take care of ourselves.

you deserve relationships that dont fuckin suck. i dont know u very well but. ive been there. abuse can really fuck you up. and if you are anything like me, there's a chance that that voice that tells you 'youre being manipulative!' was strategically put there by your shitty ex in order to maintain that power/control over you. it's fulfilling its purpose, and you deserve to break free from it. i dont think you are a manipulative person. you're a person who has been hurt, and you are doing the very best you can. please take care of yourself, you're going to be okay <3

HI UR FIRST 4 POINTS YES OK I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT BY MY THERAPIST A LOTTTT and he talked to me extensively abt like . how the term manipulation is being misused a lot and sometimes ppl just do stuff u dont like and it's not on that person to find out, it is on u to communicate u don't like it and it's not manipulative for a human being to have differing opinions and feelings etc...however i have not met a single soul i talked to abt this (before i received these asks) who believed accidental manipulation was not a thing and like . manipulation as it is being used in a misleading manner,, so it's rly cool to hear abt it !!! but yh i'm referring to the toxic/bad kind but i'm rly like . if i worry abt it then im probably not doing it which means i shouldnt worry abt it which means there is now no guarantee that im not doing it . anyway i'm probably overthinking !!!

but ! i rly rly value ur input thank u so much ! i think the honouring yourself perspective is rly important and i'm glad you're telling me abt it bc i didn't rly think of it that way ! and yh ur right i deserve to feel cared for in a way that doesnt suck and i deserve to like !! not be hurt ! i feel like i should move past this fear while remaining conscientious of its general principle - if i figure out how to do that i think things will be a lot better :) thank u !!!!

[fandom-monium]

I JUST READ KITCHEN CATASTROPHES OMG ITS SOOO CUTE UGH MY HEART SO SOFT CAN YOU PLSSS DO A PART 2? THANK YOU KEEP DOING WHAT YOU DO

AN: thank you, anon! i dont plan to make a sequel to KC. But if i did:

For Valentine’s Day

Summary: In which you throw a wrench in Spencer’s plans: you don’t like Valentine’s Day. “If it’s with you, I guess it’s not so bad.”

WC: 2.9k (whoops)

Tags/Warnings: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, fluff, cussing, semi anti-valentines day, Spencer tears up but dont worry were there to fix that, established relationships (blegh), Garvez if you squint, post-For the Holidays

Fuck cooking, Spencer thinks one day.

It's an irrational thought. The kind that strikes through his mind in a flash of irritation like a scrape of the knee as he is perusing the internet. Yes, he is using a computer willingly. He has to because he's desperate.

Cooking is stupid. Who really needs it, right?

…

He needs it. God, he needs it so bad.

His need to learn cooking wasn't as incessant until recently. Until you came along.

Spencer is a meticulous person and a romantic if you'd ever met one. Makes sense considering how he grew up, reading the classics and all that. He's read all the gooey literary shit old people write and while he never understood those meanings it all dawned on him one day. Quotes written like 'the stars in their eyes' and 'sunshine glowing off them like a halo', suddenly makes sense once he meets you. Or at least, after coming to know you, months into your newfound friendship.

It's because of this he plans accordingly the weeks leading up to Valentine's day! Because again he's meticulous and a romantic and a genius so he plans every step and makes a back up plan in case A, B, and C fall through.

Is he going overboard? 

… Nah. No way. Not when it comes to you.

But fuck with a capital F, man.

It's your third date. Or what is supposed to be your third date if you would just stop being you for a second.

Then again, he loves you a lot and he wouldn't love you if you weren't, well, you.

Although—pardon his french—what the fuck. 

Spencer knows he needs to learn to cook. You've tried plenty of times to teach him and he loves learning and he especially loves it when you are the teacher (wait, does he have a teacher/student fantasy? Maybe. That’s something he'll look into later. Preferably with you). 

Unfortunately, he's terrible at it.

He's made progress and he knows it's true because you said so but the miniscule progress he's made is. Not. Enough. And it's all your fault! Because he gets so distracted by you during your lessons, like when you put your hands over his to show him proper slicing techniques—holy fuck, he wanted to combust right there—or just watching your deft hands at work, lips and brow scrunched in concentration in that adorable way. And you smell like cooking oil or whatever you're making and you're hot.

He's so into you it physically hurts. Ugh. How is he so lucky? 

You're also the first person he's been this into since Maeve. And everyone knows how well that turned out.

So he tries to dial it down for Valentine’s Day. Morgan told him once he tends to throw himself into everything he does, including love. And when you two got together, he promised the universe he will not fuck this up. He ends up combining Morgan’s advice with Luke’s, trying to be casual like Luke says because apparently you're just as into him as he is of you. 

The thought makes him grin uncontrollably. Luke says it makes him look like a clown but a lovesick clown. A lovefool, Luke hehs.

Spencer doesn’t get the joke, but it does nothing to deter him.

As Luke advised, Spencer does “not” make a dozen back up plans and does “not" plan weeks in advance. Because that wouldn't be casual, would it?

But now the day’s come and as Valentine’s Day turns to Valentine’s Night, Spencer wants to pull his hair, rub his frustratedly stinging eyes but he can't because he's in the middle of work, in the middle of the bullpen, in the middle of his desk and he refuses to be that guy. Not again.

Why does he feel like sobbing? Like a loser? 

Because you don't like Valentine’s Day. No, you abhor it.

It happens in the middle of the work day. It's like he tried to open a door only for a bucket of ice water to be dumped on him and now he looks like a drowned rat. He definitely feels like one.

You're talking with Garcia about her Valentine’s Day plans as you multitask, switching between putting together packets and stacking them aside. Then taking them under the hole-puncher and stapling them together because the BAU isn't all kicking down doors and catching freaks. 

It makes sense that you’re chatting with Garcia during your break. The two of you have become two peas in a pod after you came out of your shell. Now you're inseparable. Only you make Garcia leave her batcave as much as she does now.

Out of sight, he catches tidbits of your conversation when he hears distinctively: Fuck Valentine’s Day.

Okay, you didn't say that verbatim but you might as well have, grimacing as you three hole-punch a packet and his heart. Then a nail on his coffin only it’s with a stapler. 

Thump. Chick.

Spencer winces; there goes your his Valentine’s Day plans. 

It shouldn't sting as much as it does. You've been dating for over a month and Valentine’s Day is definitely not his favorite holiday either. It's not even top 3. And as you rant he can’t help but silently nod in agreement, all the facts straight: yes, it's an eyesore. Yes, it's a capitalistic holiday. Yes, people should do nice things for their significant others no matter the time and not because it's expected on a specific day. Yes, it doesn't compare to Halloween—

The thing is, you two aren't that “couple-y”, at least in a traditional sense. Not like Will and JJ who got a babysitter so they could go out or like Luke and Garcia as they plan to go to a special Valentine’s Day event she wants to check out (she vehemently denies anything going on between them but he doesn't need to be a genius to see the affection they have for one another. Just kiss already, damn).

So yeah, Spencer hoped to spend the romantic holiday with you. For once, he'd have Valentine’s Day plans, aside from exchanging cards with the team and his mother.

But apparently you hate Valentine’s Day! So there goes plan A, B, C, and D!

Spencer feels the tears spring at the corner of his eyes. He sniffs as subtly as he can, raising an open case file to his face. Of all the plans he hadn't thought through this was not one of them. IQ 187, his ass.

He should've known. Or at least ask your thoughts on Valentine’s Day. That was inconsiderate on his part. He blinks back tears, withdrawing into himself despite his hurt because he is a lovefool and only for you. He just wants to impress you, make you happy even if that means canceling your first Valentine’s Day together.

Now if you'll excuse him, he has to call off a few reservations and make some returns. Several actually.

Can you return a dozen donuts in the shape of hearts?

… Yeah, he better ask Emily for the rest of the day off.

—

"Hey Newb, have you seen Spencer? I haven't seen him since his break," You ask, resting your chin in your hand as you squint at another form. Your eyes are beginning to tire. 

Spencer asked you several times over the course of the last week, checking to see if you were free today. You are, so you planned to hang with him after work, but he hasn't returned from his break and he wasn't answering your calls or texts. Not unusual but still odd for your boyfriend (you still can’t believe you get to say that).

Luke sighs, his smooth voice reaching over your shared divider, "You know at some point I'm just not going to respond. You guys can’t call me Newbie forever."

"Keep telling yourself that," You snort without looking up.

Another sigh and you smirk: you win.

"For your information," Luke grumbles, words punctuated with sass, "Doc went home."

You pause. "Home?" He didn't tell you.

"Yeah, probably to get ready for your date."

"Our date?" You frown and stand up, leaning over the divider to see if Luke’s fucking with you.

He isn't. Luke shrugs, humming wistfully as he rests his cheek in his hand, "You should've seen how excited he was, being it your first Valentine's Day and all. I told him to chill out because you'll love whatever it is no matter what but I'm sure he ignored that and planned something spectacular for you guys." Sitting back, he twirls around in his chair.

You grimace, recalling your earlier conversation with Garcia. 

Shit.

"Meanwhile, I have to spend Galentine's Day with Garcia because all the ladies of the BAU are taken and I have nothing better to do—" Luke comes to a full 720, catching the tail end of your coat as you whip it on and make for the door. "—um, excuse you?"

"If Emily asks, I had an emergency!" You manage to call back, throwing open the glass door.

"Okay?"

"Thanks, Newb!"

As the elevator door dings shut with you inside, leg jumping because you have a sneaking suspicion you fucked up, Luke slouches in his chair and grumbles.

He's not a newb. Or a newbie.

—

You rush over to Spencer's, catching your breath as you stumble to his front door. There's shuffling from inside, the faint sound of clanking and crashing and your heart swells because this is the man you’ve fallen for, the first one you've ever felt this way for. Here he is, being all considerate and romantic. And here you are, fucking it up when your relationship’s barely even started.

God, you're an asshole, you berate yourself as you turn the doorknob and push open the door. You're an asshole you're an asshole you’re an asshole—

Then your eyes widen and your jaw goes slack. 

Immediately, you slap a hand over your mouth and nose as your favorite scented candles hit you like someone shoved a bouquet in your face. The description isn't too far off considering there's a lovely bouquet of your favorite flowers still in its wrapping, haphazardly set next to a dozen donuts on the coffee table like no one's business. Its petals are strewn across the floor, a few in tiny piles like they were hastily swept to the side. Red and pink and dark green fill your vision.

Who gutted Cupid and tossed his organs around, holy fu-

"(Your name)?"

Startled, you crane your head to find Spencer, beautiful hair askew and his tie hanging loosely around his neck. His sleeves are pushed up to his elbows as he clutches flowers to his chest. In his other hand, he grips the colored strings of several shiny red and pink balloons in the shape of hearts and—fuck—your heart might actually float up from your chest and into your eyes.

This is your man. Your partner. Your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend panics, fumbling for a second before stuffing the balloons and trimmed flowers back into the room behind him and slamming the door shut. He turns back to you, eyes wide.

"What-what are you doing here?" Spencer stammers, wringing his hands together.

You blink at him, dumbly holding up your phone. "You-uh-you left early and didn't return my calls."

"I'm sorry. I think I left my phone at work," Probably because he left in such a rush, Spencer groans, looking anywhere but you. The petals scattered over his floor are quite pretty in this light. "And I was a bit busy."

"I'm sure you were," You gawk openly at the strings of fairy lights hung around his living room. It's a clash of aesthetics. Spencer always rocked dark academia, but despite how ugly the combination of red and pink decorations with his nature green walls and dark wood is, it leaves his apartment a little brighter, a little cozier, and you love it.

You love everything about this.

But as you take in the ugly beauty of it all, Spencer fidgets at the doorway, mistaking your awe as shock and disgust. Wiping sweaty palms on his trousers, his eyes dart around, trying to focus on something, but every place he lays his eyes on makes him cringe. He catches all the things he couldn't clean up or put away in time. No doubt you do too. All the leftover flower petals, the donuts he can’t return, candles that haven’t blown out because he has the lungs of an 8-year old asthmatic. 

Spencer can't imagine how appalled you are.

And the longer your silence stretches on, the more nervous he gets so he blurts out, "I'm so sorry, (Your Name)!"

Your brow shoots up as he begins to ramble.

"You must hate this. I'll put everything away."

"You really don't have to—" You stop him, and your heart nearly crumbles as Spencer's does when he finally meets your worried gaze. 

His eyes gleam with unshed tears. He swallows, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—"

"Doc—"

"At least not without asking you—"

"Doctor—"

"I understand if you want to break up—" His voice cracks, as if the idea itself will destroy him (it definitely will). 

"Spencer—" His voice, wobbly and dripping with unnecessary guilt, draws you to him.

"But I want you to know that I—"

With an exasperated sigh, you grab his hand as yours finds the nape of his neck, pulling him into a soft kiss. 

For a second, Spencer doesn't respond because who kisses the person they're about to break up with? Strange, really. But then he kisses you back. His hands remain frozen, unsure of where he stands, but he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. He figures this is a new social cue he has yet to learn. And if this is the last time you kiss him, he'll treasure every second of it, take whatever you'll give him because again he's a lovefool for you. 

And when you pull back, he's too dazed he nearly misses the look you give him. Suddenly, he can’t breathe.

You look at him like he hung the stars instead of cheap fairy lights around his apartment. 

Spencer’s confused. "I-I... Wha—"

"I'm not breaking up with you," You chuckle, and you nearly burst out laughing as genuine puzzlement takes over his face. You tug him behind you, plopping yourselves on his couch. You smile, appreciating the way he organized the cushions and throw-pillows; there's now space for two people to lay down.

You take a breath. "You wanna know why I don't like Valentine’s Day?"

Spencer slouches, though his body is angled towards you so you suppose that's good. He sighs, "Because it's a capitalistic holiday that reinforces the idea of doing the bare minimum…"

He begins listing your reasons, and your eyes soften. Of course he listened and remembered even if you mentioned it offhandedly.

You nod once he finishes. "Yes but before that—and I can't believe I'm telling you this—back when I was a little kid, I didn’t get any Valentines."

Spencer's brow furrows at the newfound information. You continue, "I'd get some from my friends and stuff but that's not what Valentine's Day is about. At least not when you're a kid. When you’re a dumb kid, it’s about couples and romantic shit, and I didn't really have any of that growing up." You purse your lips and glance away, face flushed with embarrassment. It's really not that big a deal, but putting it into words makes the idea seem more intimate and personal.

It takes a moment for your words to sink in as Spencer can't believe his ears. How could you not have been showered with love and affection and presents on Valentines Day? It's like water doesn't make things wet or fire doesn't produce heat; it just doesn't make sense. Because you deserve that much and more.

"So every Valentine's Day, I lowered my expectations and eventually I stopped caring. I'd tell myself those things and I started to believe them," You bite your lip, eyes crinkling as you give Spencer a sheepish smile. "But now I have you."

At that, Spencer returns your smile, letting you take his hand. Any tears he had seem to evaporate instantly.

“So, I'm sorry that I hurt you. I stand by what I said before, Valentine’s Day sucks. But if it’s with you,” Blushing deeply, you play with Spencer's hand, large and veins defined compared to yours, shrugging, “I guess it’s not so bad.”

Spencer’s smile broadens, and he intertwines your fingers together. "So what you’re saying is, you don’t hate this?” He looks around his living room.

You shake your head, unable to stop the grin crossing your lips. “No. In fact, very much the opposite. Honestly, thank you for this, it’s beautiful. I have no words.” You breathe it all in; the candles, the flowers, the— Your nose wrinkles and you snort, “Did you burn something?”

Bashfully looking down, he scratches his chin. “I-uh-tried to make your favorite dishes. Though, I was hoping the candles and flowers would mask it.”

You giggle and pull him into you, snuggling into his side. “That’s okay. I’d much rather have you anyway.”

With Spencer a blushing, stuttering mess in your arms, head resting on your chest, you press a kiss to his hair and conclude; yeah, you don’t like Valentine’s Day. 

But you sure as hell love Spencer more.

—

AN:  FtH status: finished - 7/5. yes 7.

I realize this was not what anon requested but oh well i wrote this at 2 am 

I’m not that anti v day but i stand by the capitalistic aspect.

yes this takes place after For the Holidays.

also included luke bc hes my bro and i honestly think he deserves so much more than what the show gave also garvez ftw

happy post valentine’s day!!

Song: Lovefool by The Cardigans

[vtforpedro]

long, long health update - tw in tags please read them

I am going to speak very frankly about suicidal ideation; please don't read further if this is triggering for you ;3; but please know that I love you I had my follow-up appt with my neuropsych on monday to go over my results and whatnot. it was virtual, and I was in the middle of a head episode and I told her I wasn't doing well, but within about 5-10 minutes, she was saying I should probably go to the ER lkajflaj I guess it looked pretty bad lmao anyway I told her all the reasons I couldn't. medical trauma, being dismissed b/c I have doctors who manage my headaches, and I know it's not life-threatening even if it is 10/10 agonizing, so why are you here. they're so dismissive. she said that they have medication to possibly help break the cycle of constant migraines but I've been treated with those before and they didn't do shit migraines are secondary to iih. it's the iih that needs to be fixed ._. she said I still deserved to not suffer and that the ER is very strict about keeping covid patients away from other patients and I didn't have the heart to tell her they intubated a covid patient 10-15 feet away from me last time I was in an ER 😭 anyway so the results. she said she wasn't worried about anything going on that was concerning or indicating something wrong in my brain. I DID score quite a bit lower for someone my age on information processing (which is exactly what I said I was struggling with to my two neuros who were both like ehhh) and some issues with memory but they weren't super specific and so it could be something neurological, could be my migraines and constant agony lmao, could be my Emotional State. could be all of them at once, I suppose ;) she went into more detail about some of these things but it was the two questionnaires I filled out that were HNNN. so once all the data is entered from like 300 questions it shows a good look into my personality and perceptions and all that and it makes a cool little graph (OR SO I THOUGHT). the kind that looks like mountain peaks. so she points at the one that is waaay higher than the rest and nearly touching the top of the box and she's like 'do you see this one' me: yeah 😬 her: this is your feelings and ideations about suicide me: 😬 😩 😬 her: when I see a score this high, I stop what I'm doing and I call the police to have them escort you to a hospital me: 😬😬😬😬😬 her: but I didn't do that. because when we spoke in office you told me you felt this way and why you don't do it. you told me it's something you've lived with for a long time and the pain you are suffering is what makes it so bad. and I trust you me: 😭😭😭 okay her: do you see this line down here? this is people who have suicidal ideation recorded on this test. you scored 98% higher on suicidal ideation compared to people reporting suicidal ideation HNNNNNN. she said it probably wasn't surprising to me and asked me if I was safe again and all that. I assured her I was and said in my previous appointment; I've had suicidal thoughts since I was like 12? maybe earlier. there have been very few times in my life not surrounded by abuse and trauma so I'm never really free of it. I've had four traumatic incidents causing increasingly horrible episodes of ptsd in nine years. all through my 20s. still here woo, lol and she said she knew that and had a patient not long after my first appointment who had similar circumstances in their life. and they told her it's almost a comfort having it. cause I was saying it's in the back of my mind at all times and I won't do it, but yeah, it's always there. anyway she said they said the same thing; it's always there, always in the background as 'hey I'm an option!' even though we aren't going to harm ourselves. it's a comfort knowing there is an option even if we plan on never using it? idk it just spoke to me and I felt it in my soul we talked about some emotional stuff after and I cried and it was a thing. it felt really good to speak to a psychologist who, just as she was in the first appointment, seemed genuinely concerned and wanted to help

me. I told her I was ready for therapy and she said she'd already looked for therapists for me lkasjdlkja and gave me a group that I emailed yesterday. I don't think they'll take my insurance but she said to message her through the portal if they don't and she'll try to find someone who does I don't remember if I mentioned it, but since she knew about the head shit before I met her, she dimmed her office lights without asking if I needed it and like as soon as we started the virtual visit, she leaped up and dimmed them and said she should've thought about it before the appt 😭 (I keep my brightness really low on my computer and use the warming feature 24/7 on comp and phone and my apt is really dimmed but it still helped a lot when she did it) she kept saying 'you did nothing wrong. it was the choice of others to do what they did. you don't deserve to carry their choices. you deserve to be able to hand it back to them. you don't deserve to be in pain. you did nothing wrong. you deserve to be free of what they did and you deserve to not suffer in such physical pain' I'm so wary of doctors but I really like her and I feel fortunate to have been referred to her ;3; speaking for a long time and especially emotionally is hard for me, so I might try to do two sessions a month once I find a therapist and see if I'm ok with that. trying to keep everything virtual while delta is out there I read her report and her official diagnosis is uhh really strong for major depressive disorder, severe. and severe ptsd with disassociative symptoms so!!! I claimed both of those on my disability application and the person handling my claim told me when I had this appt to call and let her know because she wanted the info. I signed a release the day I was there when I told my neuropsych that cause MH stuff is different than other medical records. she said she faxed it to the woman handling my disability application but I was gonna call her and ask if she received it and also tell her I have a new neuro so she will probably request his stuff too I called today and her voicemail box is full so lol try again later today's been awful. last night was horrible. got a bill for over $800 from my colonoscopy/endoscopy even though I asked numerous times if insurance was covering it and was told yep, every penny. so I was on the phone with insurance and the surgery center for 45 minutes. insurance seemed confused af but the agent I spoke with got some help from people who handle this stuff I guess finally she told me not to pay it, they're going to send them a letter to get it sorted (idk if this means I won't have to pay it at all or if they're going to try to make it that way. but I think govt insurance, which is what I have, works differently. like doctors kinda have to follow what they say vs. the other way around) and not worry about it for the next 30 days. I'm still gonna worry about it lmao they used a nice scare tactic on the bill that this was the 'LAST AND FINAL NOTICE' despite the fact they've never sent me anything else. my mom and the insurance agent said nah that's just what they do to scare people into paying fuckin love america <3 land of the free. the american dream! greatest country on earth 💜🖕💜 I just don't want it to go to collections and have to fight credit bureaus to get it off my credit so it's not destroyed |: anyway my head hit like 10/10 bad while I was on the phone cause of the talking a lot and trying to PROCESS INFORMATION and stress and also the fucking hold music, which I have to hear in some way b/c I gotta know when they're back on the line hnnnnn bad day. it's 1pm and bad, bad, bad day. bad month all around. I want this shit to stop anyway. I'm sorry about the suicidal ideation talk, but it's important to talk about that stuff. it can get severe but it can also get better. it does, eventually, even if it comes and goes. it always does get better I'm sorry, I also really needed to get this down somewhere. feel like I'm going to explode emotionally AND physically and I need to talk about it. hopefully

soon I'll have a therapist to talk to so I can get a lot of this stuff worked on. got my whole life to chat about so it'll probably take a long time but I'm willing to let it lmao therapy doesn't usually work for me anymore but idk I've had a lot of shit happen in less than two years so maybe it will this time I'm trying! I really am trying if you read this rambling monster, thank you. love you all and please stay safe

[wouldpollyapprove]

Headcanon: Going Into Labor At A Party

Request: None, you guys just really liked these so I have decided to do one for each of the Shelby boys.

Requested by no one

John Shelby x Reader

Warnings: language, alcohol, pregnancy

A/N: This is the last of the “Going Into Labor” headcanons for the Shelby Clan unless you guys want me to do them for Ada & Polly and/or other Peaky Blinder characters. Just let me know and I’ll do them b/c I love these so much. I don’t know how well this is b/c I haven’t read through it, so sorry if it’s rough.

Part One (Arthur) / Part Two (Finn) / Part Three (John) / Part Four (Michael) / Part Five (Thomas)

Masterlist

The Shelby’s had been invited to a large gathering by the Lee’s, more like a party where everyone would end up blackout drunk, due to the fact that you were distantly related to them. As a relative, they couldn’t just not invite you and they wanted to keep Tommy happy.

So, with John’s arm link with your’s, you slowly walked behind his family to where you could see your’s and most of them appeared to have opened a bottle of whiskey. 

“God, your brother’s are shit faced,” your husband chuckled, pointing at your brother who was chasing after a goose. It was all fun and games until the goose turned around and started chasing after him.

You laughed, watching the goose hiss at your brother. “You think he’d slow down with the liquor, but no.”

John hummed and gazed out at the open field around you. “How are you feeling, love?” he asked to fill the silence.

“I’m the same as I was when you asked earlier,” your rolled your eyes. “Now, quite fussing. We’re here to have fun and you can’t have fun if you’re worrying about me.” You leaned your head on his shoulder.

Your swollen belly gave him every reason to worry. John knew drunks, having spent a lot of time around them, and knew they could be dangerous even if they didn’t mean to be.

Once among your family, John and you were quickly greeted ad given glasses full of who knows what. John had no problem accepting what was shoved in his hand, but you did.

Since becoming pregnant, many things made your nose scrunch up in disgust. Lamb made you want to vomit, meaning your husband would have to go a while without some of his favorite dishes. Alcohol, it didn’t even matter what it was, was disgusting to even think about. That made trips to the garrison or even the betting shop impossible sometimes. 

How you had decided coming to this party was beyond you. It would be impossible to find a place the alcohol couldn’t reach your nose, so you just hoped that you could hold down your dinner.

The sun had set as John pulled you on to the dance floor. It was a slow enough song that he knew you could manage to keep the pace. “You look beautiful in this light,” he smiled at you, brushing a loose hair out of your face. Though, the two of you had been together for a long while, he always made you blush.

“You know, once the baby’s born, there’ll be another party like this,” you commented, allowing John to spin you around. 

“What’s with your family and parties?”

You shrugged, looking over your husband’s shoulder to see one of your uncles light a wagon wheel on fire. It was better than someone’s hair, which had been the last thing he’d caught on fire. “I don’t know, but they’re fun.”

The two of you made your way out of the swarm of dancers when your feet began to hurt. It was a light complaint, but John insisted you take a seat and rest your feet for a bit. But before you could make it far, your water broke, soaking the dirt beneath you.

You weren’t sure who raced to your side fast, Polly or your aunt May. Despite John’s protests, they quickly took you from his arms and led you to one of the wagons. Even with a car, they were too far from the city to get you home in time. 

Once you were out of sight, Arthur came over and clapped a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Ya’re gonna be dad.”

A massive grin broke out across John’s face. “I’m gonna be a fucking father!” he shouted. 

You could hear him from where you were, the women around you trying to get you comfortable. You wanted to smile at his antics, it was the same reaction he’d had when you found out you were expecting, but a contraction washed over you and all you could do was grasp on to Polly for support. 

John was all smiles as he made sure everyone knew that he was going to be a dad. Tommy tried to get some whiskey in his system to help calm him down, but it was nothing compared to the excitement racing through his blood. 

After an hour and a half of contractions, swearing, and pain, you held a little boy, a tuff of hair a top his head that certainly had to have come from his father. Polly sat beside you, refusing to leave you, with a baby girl in her arms, wrapped in the woman’s shawl. “Would you like me to go fetch John before he falls in the fire?”

You let out a weak laugh, gazing down at the child your created. “If he hasn’t already.”

Polly nodded, following the other women, who had helped you deliver, out of the wagon. She held the baby close to her chest as she walked up to Tommy, who had forced John to take a seat before he hurt himself. 

“John,” Tommy hit his brother’s knee then pointed at Polly behind him. John turned, eyes lighting up when he saw the small bundle in her arms. 

Standing, he walked over to his aunt. “Fucking hell.” He moved the material away from the infants face. 

His aunt scolded him for such language before passing the child over to him. “She’s a spitting image of her mother.”

John sucked in a breath, a little girl. He had a little girl. “She sure is,” he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. 

“Your wife’s holding a baby boy that looks just like you,” Polly told him, pointing to the wagon, before warning him that she would kill him if he dropped the baby.

He could barely process her words as he made his way to the wagon. There was no way there was another baby, she had to pulling his leg, that’s the only thing that made since. But once he opened the door to the wagon, tears of joy pooled in his eyes at the sight of his wife soothing the small child in her arms. 

You smiled when you heard him enter. “John, look at our babies.”

He came to sit next to you, you instantly leaning against him. “Your fucking amazing, love.” He kissed the top of your head. 

“I think we should name her Elizabeth,” you suggested, giving your pinky over to your daughter.

Your husband raised a brow. “After Polly?” You nodded, there was no way you couldn’t. She had done so much for the two of you. So much for her family and it seemed that she often didn’t get the credit she deserved. “What about for him?” John asked, leaning over to get a proper look at his son. Though, his eyes were closed and he was fast a sleep, John knew he would be a wild child, just like the rest of the Shelby men.

“Joseph,” you said, remembering when John had told you he had always liked the name. 

“Elizabeth and Joseph.” John used his free hand to turn your face and capture your lips in a kiss. “Would ya look at our family?”

*~~*~~*~~*

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[moonflower-31]

I Won’t Forget You - Spencer Reid x Reader

Masterlist 

Part 11 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader 

Warnings: Basically all the shit in the readers history that hasn’t been mentioned up until this point. (Anxiety, mentions of abuse, stalking, arranged marriage) 

Tags: @dra-reid, @eevee0722, @ceeellewrites, @anotherr-fine-mess, @ssahoodrathotchner 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Are you sure about this?" 

You take in a heavy sigh as you adjust the tan trench coat around you. You nod, holding back bitter tears. 

"This is for the best, Arthur. I can't marry him. If I stay as a Grant any longer than I have to, he'll kill me. Or use you as leverage to make me change my mind. I can't let him do that." You insist, your (h/c) hair flowing in the wind outside the Atlantic City Airport. 

Your brother looks up at you with tear-stained cheeks. Being only 6 years younger than you made him 14. But he was wiser than he should be. He shouldn't have to lose his sister like this. But it was for the best. That was what you kept telling yourself. 

"B-but… what about Mom? A-and Dad?" He asked worriedly, his hands picking at the expensive leather jacket that you had passed down to him once he had turned ten. "Don't you want to at least say goodbye to them?" 

You grit your teeth as a few choice words threaten to surface. Thankfully, you swallow them. He didn't know. You made sure he didn't know. All he ever knew was that Mom and Dad were always 'busy'. He didn't need to know anything else. 

"No, Artie. I don't want to say goodbye to them. They're busy. I don't want to interrupt their meeting. It's just you and me right now." You explain as calmly as you can, giving him the most genuine smile you've ever given someone. You put a gentle hand on his shoulder, pulling him into a hug. He immediately reciprocates it, squeezing you as tight as he could.  

"I'm gonna miss you sis." He whimpers into your shoulder. For a kid his age, he was pretty tall. You softly let out a chuckle. He would be taller than you in a few years. 

"I'm gonna miss you too, little man. If things calm down, I'll reach out. I'll call you. Promise." You say, holding out your pinky. Arthur sniffles and wipes his tears with his sleeve. He then extends his hand and intertwines his pinky with yours. 

"You better not forget me." He insists, letting out a soft chuckle. You laugh softly back, cupping his cheek motherly and wiping away the fresh tears. 

"That's impossible, and you know it." You tease, gently pressing a finger to his nose. "Be good. Do what you're told. And follow your dreams, okay? No matter what Mom or Dad say is your destiny, make your own." You beg, squeezing your brother's hand for the last time. 

"I will. I love you, (Y/N)." 

"I love you too bud."  

○●♡●○ 

"Your what?" Spencer asks in disbelief, his weathered hands never leaving yours. His naturally focused eyes were now confused and frantic, trying to make sense of the words you just uttered to him. 

"M-my… my stalker. The part of my past I...I didn't want to get you into. I didn't want to put you in danger." You repeat a little quieter. Most of you wanted to curl up in a ball and die. At least then Peter would stop. 

"You had" Spencer stopped himself, letting in a small gasp of disbelief. "--have, a stalker, and you didn't think this was important?" He asks, his voice raising a notch. You flinch and try to pull your hands back on instinct. 

Spencer widened his eyes and immediately calmed his voice, taking your hands back into his. "I-i'm sorry, (Y/N). But please… why didn't you tell me?" He asked gentler this time. You let out a nervous breath and close your eyes, attempting to open the file in your brain you so desperately wanted to erase. 

"It… it might be better if I just tell you everything. I-if you'll listen to my sappy life story…" you insist, squeezing his hands for comfort. His touch was keeping you grounded for now. At least you had him. 

"O-of course, (Y/N). B-but you don't have to. I-I mean… if this is going to hurt you then I don't want you to feel like you have to-" Spencer began to ramble, his hazel eyes weighed with worry. Just like Arthur's. 

You stop him with a squeeze of your hands and take a deep breath. Here goes nothing, you think. 

"7 years ago, I-I turned 18. My parents are very old fashioned. And they believed that since I was already going back to college and trying to be my own woman since I graduated with my doctorate in psychology that year, that they would arrange me a marriage." The words tasted foul in your mouth, almost making you want to spit them out. Spencer still listened, though he did look at you with a look of concern. 

"His name is Peter Calvin. The real-estate broker and investor. At 22 he was vastly rich. And he had everything he wanted. Except a loving wife who doted on him hand and foot. He's a narcissistic bastard who believes he deserves everything he wants. So as you expect, when I turned the proposal down instead of listening to my parents, he was livid. It began with letters. Like this one." You explain, gesturing towards the almost identical envelope next to you. "He would send me gifts, trinkets that I always threw away. No matter how many times my parents arranged for us to meet and try to get along, I always pushed him away. So then after three months, he escalated. He began to call my phone 27 times a day. Blew up my phone with texts. Filled up my email box with 10 or more a day. After that didn't work he began to threaten me. All the while he sent me letters. He would… detail our future together. He even detailed how I would bear him a son first. That we'd name him Oliver. Then I'd bear him a daughter. Name her after his mother." You felt your chest beginning to ache and your heart to pound as fast as a locomotive. 

All the while Spencer listened on in the horror of the past you had gone through. This stalker of yours was easily just like many of the unsubs they'd apprehended. Spencer had never had a personal connection with them till now. His eyes were opening to a different side of things. But he stayed quiet, wanting to let you finish your story before he made any attempt to say his piece. 

"Eventually he resorted to threatening my brother. Said that he'd kill him and my family if I didn't say yes. So… I said yes." You bit your lip, looking down as tears and a sob came tumbling through you. Spencer pulled you closer to him, embracing you in his arms to allow you to cry. You clung to his cardigan, not caring as much about replacing it this time. 

After a few minutes of ugly sobbing, you sniffled and pulled back, wanting to finish the rest of the story. "A-after a year o-of engagement and physical abuse from him I couldn't take it anymore." You let out a half sob, your voice breaking like glass. "S-so I stole a bunch of his money with his credit card and bought myself a ticket down here to Virginia. Gabriel lived down here, and I called him. He offered me a place to stay as long as I went to school and got the education I deserved. So I came here, changed my last name, number and even my social security number. Never looked back." You insist, squeezing Spencer’s forearms where your hands had fallen after he had held you to let you cry. 

You let out a long sigh, the tears drying up and tired hiccups were all that remained. "After a while, Gabriel qualified to go into training for the bareau. And I found out I was too. So we both applied. The rest doesn't matter. Just… know this is all sealed stuff. You're the first person other than Gabriel and my other roommate, Iris, to know. I put myself in witness protection to get away from this man. And now…" you trail, unable to finish your own statement. 

"(Y/N)..." Spencer spoke, barely a whisper. He didn't know what to say. You just shared with him yet again something no one else on the team knew about you. You trusted him with this. 

"I-I know… an FBI agent afraid of some real estate guy. How unique." You laugh bitterly, slowly pulling your knees closer to your chest. 

"Actually, I think you were actually brave for making the right decision for everyone, not just yourself." Spencer expressed, still looking at you in shock. The probability of what was in that letter couldn't be good. If they touched it, their DNA would be on it. This was evidence. If they could only find his and you're DNA on it, they could say that you both forged the note to frame Peter. And Spencer wouldn't allow that. 

His blood felt hotter than melted iron and his face felt stiff. His jaw locked in place as anger began to fuel him. He had heard this man's name before, when your mother said it to you. If only he had known the impact just saying it had on you. He was angry at Calvin. But also at himself for not deducing that something like this was happening. 

"(Y/N)... you kept everyone else safe at the cost of your own comfort. This-This isn't right. He should be in jail for ever touching you like that!" He exclaims, being careful not to raise his voice. 

"Yeah, except his lawyer is the best. His lawyer was able to convince the judge to revoke three protection orders I had filed against him. If I even tried to prosecute him, I'd just get thrown in jail instead. I… I'm just gonna have to change everything again. I'll change my w-whole name this time. Change my hair, move again. I don't think I'll even be able to afford one let alone lease one…" you began to ramble, panic quickly rising into your voice. 

It was Spencer's turn to silence you with a squeeze to the arms. You look him in the eyes, tears beginning to start another cycle. He reached a hand up and cupped your cheek, wiping away the stranded tears. You stared into his eyes, gazing up into hazel hues. 

"Hey… I'm not gonna let you lose everything you've worked so hard for. You are not gonna let him dictate your life. We're gonna bring this to Hotch, okay? Then for now, you'll live with me." 

You snap your gaze back towards his eyes after they drifted. Was he serious?! 

"Y-you can't be serious, Spence. You shouldn't have to-" 

Spencer placed a gentle thumb over your lips and shushed you. "I want to. You need to find a place to stay for now until we get him in custody. So... I'd say my place is safest."

You sniffled a little more, swallowing a lump of gathered excuses in your tightening throat. "A-are you sure about this, Spencer? You don't have two bedrooms, sure I can sleep on the couch…" you began to ponder. "But I'm messy sometimes. Annoying most of the time. And I am most definitely not the most pleasant person to be around in the mornings." 

Spencer chuckled and pressed a kiss to the creases in-between your eyebrows. You blush like a cherry as you stop in your tracks and stare up at him in shock. "You were pleasant to be around when you stayed over last time. Even if you end up a grouch who doesn't like socializing before 8, I still want to help you with this. You're… You're my friend." 

At this, you threw yourself into his arms, hugging him tightly. You knew deep inside that you really shouldn't be letting him help you. He could get killed, or even kidnapped because of his involvement. But right now, some help was better than no help at all.

"Thank you…" you whisper, squeezing your arms around his neck. Spencer hugs you tightly close to him, slightly burying his head in your shoulder.

"Anything, (Y/N)." 

○●♡●○ 

Hours later, the two of you sat in front of the letter, staring at it and pondering whether or not you should open it. Spencer had grabbed a paper towel and moved it to the coffee table. 

You had already called Gabriel and let him know of the situation. He said he called a few of his buddies from his job to watch over the apartment building for the night. 

You were now leaning against the tall doctor who was hunched over next to you, equally pondering the same question as you. But probably better than you. 

You were exhausted and tired of all the fear and panic. Your eyes were still puffy and you found yourself sniffling every few minutes. 

Spencer seemed to notice this however once he moved his gaze from the letter to you. "The handwriting, although made to be elegant, is bold and erratic. He wrote this in a hurry." He attempted, looking back up at you for approval. You took in a heavy breath and nodded, sucking in your bottom lip as you sigh it out. 

New approach, Spencer thought. 

"(Y/N/N)... I-I think you should get to bed. Try to sleep. We think our best when we're well rested, even in situations like this." He suggests, placing one of his broad hands on your back. 

You feel like crumbling underneath his touch from all of the stress. "I don't think I can even try to sleep…" you whimper, leaning closer to him for comfort. "Not alone…" 

Spencer frowned down at you. He rubbed your shoulder as he'd seen Morgan do to Garcia. You were hurting. And he didn't know how to fix it. And he was a damn profiler. A doctor. Where was all his knowledge now? 

"W-well… what if I came in and laid with you. Would that help?" He asked, turning to look at you. 

You thought the suggestion over. Having Spencer Reid in your bed would have normally made you blush like crazy, and made you insist that life was kidding you. But this was different. And as much as you loved Gabriel, he wasn't the type to stay and comfort someone. He cared, sure, but he didn't know how to truly sit and listen to your problems. He was usually the one who offered you a safe place to cry. And wouldn't judge you for it. Spencer, you knew was different. 

"Yeah… yeah I think I'd like that…" you reply, biting the inside of your cheek. Spencer smiled at you warmly, sprouting a couple butterflies. 

Spencer then stood up and helped you to your feet. His arm wrapped around your middle as he guided you back towards the bedrooms. 

"Now your going to have to direct me to which one is which." He comments, looking ahead at the three doors at the end of the hallway. "I think I'd rather not walk into someone else's room and see something I'm not meant to see." He teases, smirking at you. You let out a small chuckle and smile gently, getting Spencer to squeeze you closer. 

"It's good to see you smile." He says. Although it got darker the further into the hallway you both ventured, you could still clearly see the love in his eyes as he looked at you. 

"It's the door on the right." You instruct, gesturing to the door to your bedroom. The room you would soon be abandoning. 

Spencer took out the edge of his shirt from underneath his cardigan and used it to open the door, making you stifle a giggle. Spencer then helped you inside, easing you into your bed. He turned around and closed the door, leaving you to get comfortable in bed. 

When he turned around he was met with you curled up in a coocoon made of your comforter. He couldn't help but chuckle as he came over and sat next to you. "I don't suppose you'll be sprouting any wings any time soon, will you?" He teases, scooting closer to you. You huff, some of the blanket falling off your shoulders. 

"Shut up, Genius." You tease back, smiling at him as you do. 

"No, I don't believe I will. Especially since I just got you to smile." He reveals with an eyebrow raised and a smirk, as if it were a game changing thing. You roll your eyes and nudge him, yawning softly. 

"Yeah? Well I think you're gonna get me to fall asleep with jokes like that." You playfully retorted. He laughed and hugged you closer. 

"Then my job will be easier than I thought." He teased back. You shake your head and lean it against his shoulder hesitantly. You feel him tense up for a moment, almost too long of a moment. But just as you were going to lift your head up, he loosened up, letting you completely rest your head on his shoulder. 

"I...is this okay?" You ask softly, taking in a hard breath. 

"Yeah, definitely. You just get the rest you need. I'll be here." He promised. It was then you finally decided to let your guard down and begin to sleep. 

You feel his warmth radiating from him, lulling you to sleep along with his gentle touch. He had found a way to hold you through the blankets, and you didn't mind. His thumb caressed your arm as you felt yourself drifting off, easing your fears even more than they already had been.  

You had every right to be scared. To be utterly terrified. And you still were. But he made it easier. You began to second guess your own decision not to tell him how you felt. He was here with you when you knew that not that many people would do this for you. Hardly anyone on the team. Garcia and Prentiss might be good for a good cry and pep talk, but that wouldn't have eased you any more than just talking about what your plan of action was with Spencer. Morgan would probably hold you if you asked. But the bedroom was a no-go. JJ was a mother, so she would probably just offer you something to eat to get your mind off of it all. Hotch and Rossi were different people, but you didn't peg them to be cuddlers like this. Spencer was out of his comfort zone with you. And he made no attempt to make it known that he was uncomfortable with it. 

You didn't know where you wanted to go from here, other than heading to the BAU tomorrow and asking Hotch for help. But for now, you needed to relax.  

So instead, you eased your breathing and began to focus on the quiet hum of the air conditioner, and the gentle kiss to the forehead that you felt just as you drifted away.

[nyctophilin]

A little rant

Hi! So, I have seen this post, and I told myself “This shit can’t be real!” so I decided to exit the page and enter it again and the post was still there. So I did it again and again and again and the post was still there. So this shit is real! Okay. :D

The op said that people got her hot and you know what? She got me hot too, so let’s talk about this. There were so many...things going on in that post and honestly, I am still trying to convince myself that it’s real. Fortunately, op broke it down in three sections so it will be easier for me to address that hot mess.

Warning: I have mentioned some triggering things in here like r@pe, abuse in BDSM relationships, sexualisation, spreading of personal information. Please proceed with caution.

Let’s start with section A, shall we? This whole section is about people being uncomfortable with other people writing smut. OP starts this section by saying “something people need to realize is not everyone is a soft stan or minor.” and they are right. However, there is a difference between being a hard stan and straight-up sexualising someone. 

There is nothing wrong with writing smut, but how you behave outside of that smut fic is what defines you. Some of the writers they are defending just straight up sexualise the boys. There is no creativity there. Being turned on by Hyunjin talking to his dog and sexualising something that Chan said as a response to a mean comment is another level of disgusting that some people have reached. There is no hard stan behaviour in all that, there is just disgusting people behaviour. The fact that they are “adults” does not excuse it.

Another thing they said in the A section was “as writers they can do what they would like to when it comes to their content.” and they are right here too. Is not like we can stop them from continuing to post whatever the fuck they want. However, that doesn’t mean that what they post is right and people shouldn’t be upset about it. Lolita mangas is a thing people do because they want to. Does it make it right? No. Writing fanfiction about real-life terrorists is a thing that people do because they want to. Does it make it right? No. So when someone comes for your favourite smut writer with other arguments besides “I don’t like it.” and points out problematic things with the fic then you have no right telling people to “just dont read their content.”. There are writers that write r@pe fanfiction, abusive BDSM dynamics, sexualising little space, romanticizing mental illness and many more and people have all the rights to be upset about this and call them out. So even if it “makes absolutely no sense” I will “take time out of my day to question a writer’s content” not because I don’t like it, but because it’s wrong. Believe it or not, some things are just wrong, whether people like them or not.

Moving on to section B and this is the one that upset me the most. This section is about how some people are uncomfortable with the age gap between idols and writers that are adults. To sum it up for you because I am not about to quote the whole shit, OP is basically telling us that as long as both the idol and the writer are adults then the age difference shouldn’t matter.

First of all, let’s not talk about how hellbent has been used totally wrong in this context and it took me a moment to realise what they meant, but yes, some people are really fixated on the age difference between idols and writers. You can’t come at me with the bullshit that “it shouldn't matter if everyone in question is an adult.” because you are saying that an almost 30 years old having sexual fantasies about a 19 years old is okay. It’s not. The 19 years old is fresh off of high school and the 30 years old has been working for 6 years. If you wouldn’t be okay with it happening in real life then you shouldn’t be okay with it happening to an idol. 

Some smut writers don’t even write for Jeonging because they say that it’s uncomfortable having this big age difference between them and that they can’t see themselves having sexual fantasies about a senior in high school/freshman in college. If they feel like that and understand the concern people have regarding this matter then so can the other writers in a similar situation. There is no excuse here. If you are a 28 years old thinking sexually about an 18/19 years old(because this is what you need to do in order to be able to write smut) then that is just disgusting. Period.

Second of all, I won’t even talk about the “mathematical representation” part. That whole bit it’s just pure garbage. Just take the whole part and throw it away. This is not a situation that you should represent using math. We are talking about real-life people here, not numbers. What if you were 19 and had a 30 years old write their sexual fantasies about you? Would you feel comfortable with that? Of course, the boys know that the fans have sexual fantasies about them. They are not stupid. However, and this is just my opinion, I don’t think that the first people that come into Jeongin’s mind when he thinks about that, are people approaching or being in their 30s.

Now, part C and this one is a handful. This was supposed to be about minors being upset that adults gatekeep smut but I don’t know if it really respects the theme. It starts with the question “if youre a minor and you get upset over adults writing smut then truly what are you doing??” and this is exactly what they are doing. They are getting upset that adults write smut. It says it right there, in the question. Honestly, this has nothing to do with the “gatekeeping smut” part. If you wanted it to be about that, then it should have been structured in a whole other way.

But anyway, they continue to say how minors interacting with NSFW is wrong and they shouldn’t do it and I fully agree and I have stated this before. They should not partake in this kind of activities because it was not meant for them, but I have never seen anyone say anything about “gatekeeping” smut. Minors are upset at the hypocrisy. And believe it or not, minors writing erotica is not illegal. It’s very much legal. Is it morally correct? Absolutely not and it’s best if they don’t go down that path because it will only harm them. But can you do anything to stop them? No. The only thing you can do is ask them to stop writing it and if they refuse is best to block them. But again, I don’t support minors doing that and I hope they don’t.

Also, don’t even dare tell me about adults that have minors dni or 18+ in their bio. I know for a fact that 80% of those people go and interact with minors themselves. How come you say don’t interact and then you are the one to interact? And on your NSFW blog? At least make a SFW one. None of those people actually care about keeping minors “safe”, although it is a nice impression that you have about them. With the spreading of personal information, keeping minors that write smut secret and telling possible minors to not reveal their age so they can keep interacting with NSFW content, none of those people actually care about minors. They only care about their asses. But again, it is a nice impression you have of them.

Then they go on and say “some minors think theyre mature enough to handle that shit.... NO NO YOU ARE NOT” as if turning 18 magically makes you mature enough. It doesn’t. You still have the 17 years old mentality you had the day before your birthday. I am not saying that minors are mature enough to do that, but again, is anyone mature enough for the r@pe fics and unhealthy BDSM dynamics?

And because OP screamed in that next part, so will I. HOW ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO “GO READ SOME FLUFF OR ANGST” WHEN THE TAGS ARE FULL OF DAMN SMUT? FIRST HAVE SMUT WRITERS STOP TAGGING THEIR SMUT FICS IN THE FLUFF AND ANGST TAG AND THEN THEY WILL GO AND DO THAT TOO.

And this wasn’t planned, but we also have a bonus part. This is so exciting! They say “STOP TREATING STRAY KIDS + EVERY OTHER DAMN KPOP GROUP LIKE BABIES!” and I have been saying this for ages. And you know what I am about to say. However, doing any of the things mentioned in this post cannot be called infantilizing. Wishing that people wouldn’t sexualize or write problematic fiction about them is not babying. Getting uncomfortable when someone 10 years older than an idol has sexual fantasies about them is not babying. Stop acting as if people wishing that other people would stop pursuing disgusting behaviours is wrong.

And please “these grown men”. I almost laughed. The only man that can be called grown there is maybe Chan, but people from Hyunjin to Jeongin are definitely not grown. They are in the process of growing and becoming grown, but they aren’t grown. Of course, people are aware that they know about sex, but they shouldn’t have to deal with having r@pe fics written about them or having people much older thirst about them. And if you don’t agree with that, oh well, that’s sad.

[jamiedc-they-them]

The past that bled into the present (Platonic)

Agents of shield where reader it takes place in season 4 in the framework and the reader is like a senior in the highschool that coulson teaches at so when daisy goes to his class the reader comes in and is like “sir I had a question oh I didn’t realize you have company?” And then they bring them back?

You woke up in your bed, alone but not scared. If anything, it was alone and used to it; being hungry. You knew that if you had anyone with you, that would be a bad idea. Like, a fatal error on their part. Still, you had to go to school, HYDRA had forced you despite your conditions.

You knew better than to dwell on, “If only I’d done X,Y, or Z” thoughts; you knew that would only pull you down a hole you wouldn’t be able to crawl out of. You knew that Mr Coulson wouldn’t like if you did that either.

 There was one time when HYDRA came in looking for one of your other classmates, Coulson had no choice but to sell him out. As the agents left, one of their trouser legs were set on fire. They didn’t notice at first, but as soon as they did, they panicked.

You looked at the kid you had saved and nodded; they ran. You hadn’t seen them since then, but you hoped they had made it.

Coulson, however, pulled you aside after the lesson, “Saw what you did with the kid. It was kind of you, but you’re lucky no one else saw it was you.” He said in a gentle tone. You, however, tensed at his words.

“I don’t know what your –”

“I saw the flicker of fire in your hands, Y/N. You seem to have a good handle on it.” He praised, you let your guard down a slight bit at the praise.

“Yeah, well, I learnt what would happen if I didn’t the hard way.” He decided not to press for details, getting an idea of what had happened and as to why you were alone now.

“Well, try to be more covert about it next time. I can try and cover for you; but not everyone will.” He advised you.

“I know not everyone will.” OK, he didn’t mean for it to go that way.

“I can do what I can, but I’m afraid I can only do so much.” He told you in a dejected tone.

“It’s ok, Mr C. I appreciate it, but I don’t want you putting yourself on the line for me.” You told him in response. He was pained by the answer but knew he wouldn’t be able to change your mind. He only nodded.

 The man had some sympathy for you, a kid on the streets who had to come to school to learn about HYDRA; he was alone as well, so he kept an eye on you. Hell, he even offered you some soap both to actually clean yourself with and also to keep yourself from being indoctrinated for something? You used it for the latter purpose.

Still, it was nice of him to keep an eye out for you, even if you only did so at an arm’s length. Well, you tried anyway.

The man was becoming a figure to you, someone you could go to if need be. Part of you disliked that he was growing on you and becoming a trusted ally; but another part liked having that.

Still, that internal battle ceased as you entered his classroom, only to find another woman in there with him; she was younger than him. However, the strange thing was, a part of you seemed to feel some sort of response to the woman, like you knew her.

You just couldn’t put your finger on why or who she was.

“Y/N….” She said in shock, so that confirmed it.

“DO you know them?” Coulson asked as he pointed between you both; you weren’t sure as to why, but you only kept your eyes on the woman.

“I’ve seen them around is all, got HYDRA off of their tale.” The woman answered, but part of you told yourself that it was a cover up.

So, you kept your defence up.

“It’s ok, Y/N, she’s like you.” Mr Coulson assured you. The woman, however, widened her eyes at your similarities.

“What?” She asked, as if she didn’t know of your ability. Still, you held out your hand and a fireball appeared in it, “Holy shit.” She breathed out; her shock seemed genuine.

“Shocked that you haven’t find me yet?” You asked in a defensive manner, doubting her true intentions.

She seemed to shake herself out of her staring, “No….no, it’s just – uh.” She said, lost for words. Instead of finishing her sentence, she held out her hand to a glass of water; as she did, a high-pitched noise occurred before the water started to shake.

“Cool.” Coulson said in awe as he watched it. The woman turned back to you, urging you to approach; you did as she silently asked, seeing the water shake.

She looked to you with a soft look, “I’m not going to take you back to HYDRA. But you can’t stay here; I have friends that can take care of you.” She said.

“They capture people like me, and you’re not….I don’t know why, but I appreciate it. I guess –” The words felt foreign on your tongue, “I owe you.” You finally got them out.

“You don’t,” She assured you, “But, I could use your help, there are people who are looking for you both.” She said.

“Well, if I’m going to tag along, I’d need to know your name.” You decided on finally asking.

She smiled, “I’m Daisy.”

Just like that, you were off.

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Daisy opened the door to her apartment, to reveal a smaller woman on the other side, she gave you all a smile at your arrival.

“Hi.” She said softly, happy to see you all ok. Well, you were sure of the other two, not really yourself. That was ok, though, you were used to it.

“Oh, hi….It’s me again, Phil Coulson. I called HYDRA on you. My bad.” He told the woman; she however, just had a smile on her face as she spoke.

“Water under the proverbial bridge. It’s so good to see you sir.”  She then looked to you, “And you must be Y/N?” She guessed, softening her voice as to not startle you as she saw your look of distrust.

You only nodded at her question; her smile brightened, “It’s nice to finally meet you, I’m Jemma” She said. You could tell she meant those words; you just weren’t sure as to why.

“Nice to meet you too, I guess.” You said, knowing that it was the polite thing to do (as per Coulson’s many lessons on how to conduct yourself). Still, to you they came across as forced; but Jemma’s smile brightened more, so you must’ve done something right.

Coulson shook her hand, “Apparently, in the real world, I have a robot hand,” He chuckled. Oh yeah, you were living in a fake world, how’s that for a reveal?

“How cool is that?” Coulson said, fanboying over himself a little.

“And here, he make his own soap.” Daisy said to her friend when said friend looked at her with a confused look at his words.

“How about that?” She said in an attempt to keep positive.

“I do. You should too.” He advised her. You just rolled your eyes at his advice.

“Ok, we need to move. HYDRA came after the two of them. Ward warned us away, but we barely made it out.” Daisy said as she moved to the bedroom and started packing a bag with everything she needed before you made your get away.

“Oh, thank goodness for Grant Ward.” Jemma said in a sarcastic tone.

“I don’t love it either, but this is the second time he’s helped us,” She grabbed her bag and moved back into the room, “And I hate to say this, but I think we can trust him.”

“Until we can’t. Betraying those closest to him is his signature move.” Jemma said as a warning to her friend.

“History there?” Daisy looked to you, and you saw an almost nostalgic look in her eye for a moment.

“A bit,” She said to you as she then turned back to Jemma, “For now, we just need to get somewhere safe. Ward set up a time and place for us to meet the resistance. It’s a whole password-exchange thing.”

“Bona fides?” Coulson asked as he chuckled, “I always to do that.”

“Or, I’ve been thinking….What if I reached out to Fitz?” She asked her friend.

“Simmons, we’ve b – we’ve been over this.” Daisy said as she left the room to find more things.

“If you were able to get through to Coulson and Y/N, then surely I could get Fitz to remember me.” Jemma argued passionately as she followed Daisy.

“Fitz is not the same. He’s different here.” Daisy said in response.

“This reality may be upside down, but Fitz is still Fitz. He’s still a good person.”

“Who happens to be second in command at HYDRA.” Daisy reminded Jemma as she past her.

“Yeah, which means he has resources, not to mention Framework expertise, which we’ll need to get out of Radcliff’s HYDRA snow globe.”

“Holden Radcliff, the scientist?” Coulson asked as he reached into his bag.

“Well, holy shit, Mr C. Looks like those clipping cuttings finally come into play.” Your words sounded sarcastic, but you had a smile on your face.

“I – I saw something a while back and I cut it out. Here it is.” He said as she showed them one of the clippings you and him had cut one time to help him with his theory.

“Do you know him? Do we know him?” He asked, looking at all of you. Although, you weren’t sure as to why he was including you in that.

“Why would Radcliff be in here?” Daisy questioned.

“I don’t know. But, think about it, he built the framework, which means…” Jemma trailed off for her friend to finish.

“He can get us out.” Daisy finished.

“Yeah, one catch. Nobody has seen him since this photo was taken.” Coulson broke them the bad news.

“You guys meet up with Ward’s contact. I’ll go back to the Triskelion and get a location on Radcliffe.” Daisy said, not really asking, more like ordering.

“Daisy it’s too dangerous.” Jemma said, worried for her best friend.

“I’ll be fine. I’ll be in and out. No one will even know I’m there.” She assured Jemma. She then looked to you, “Take care of them, please?” Jemma nodded at Daisy’s request.

 She led you and Coulson to the meeting pointed, hiding behind a building away from drones. As with everything else in this place, it was rundown.  

“Can I ask you something?” Jemma turned to you and nodded, “Why is Daisy so defensive of me. She acted like she hadn’t seen me in a long time.” Was the question.

“…Because she hadn’t,” You looked at her in confusion; you didn’t know either of them until today, yet you apparently had a history together, “She told us about you, you were the closest thing she had to a friend in the orphanage where she grew up.” It was a simple string of words; but to you it meant everything.

You, in this other world, had someone in the orphanage. Although, it then clicked with you that she hadn’t gone to SHIELD with you. That meant one thing.

“She still left me; at least this time I did that before she did.” She looked a little crestfallen at your words, but a drone flying above made you all look up at it.

“According to Ward’s intel, the drone should leave in five seconds.” So, you all started to mentally count as you watched the drone.

“This Ward guy, from where we’re from, he a friend of ours?” Coulson asked.

“Uh…he was. Didn’t end well.” As she said that, the drone flew away.

A man then left the building you were hiding behind, you all slowly approached him, “I take it you’re our contact?” Jemma asked.

“For the season, it’s unusually rainy.” The man said to you cryptically. The three of you shared a look, before Coulson spoke up.

“Rain or shine, the man with the umbrella is always ready.” That was either the right or wrong answer, as the man brought cuffs out of his pocket.

“What, did I say it wrong?”

“Hands out front. Wrists together.” Was the demand the man made. You did as asked, as your hands were then trapped in the cuffs as they wrapped around your arms. Then a van appeared, then the bags went over your heads.

 Those bags were the removed, revealing a man who looked like your stereotypical action hero; hell, he even spoke like one too, “I’m Jeffery Mace. Welcome to SHIELD. Sorry about the hoods, but trust is a luxury these days. That being said, Ward vouched for you, so I’m happy to provide you sanctuary.” He told you, his look softening into a smile near the end of those words.

“Thank you, sir. My name is Jemma Simmons, this is Y/F/N Y/L/N, and this is –”

“Phil Coulson. Wow.” Coulson had a moment of fanboying over the man known as the Patriot, but he only wanted to go by Jeffery; as, in his words, the patriot was a little much.

The man showed you around the base, showing you a wall that held names of the dead. They were written on the bricks, seemed budget wasn’t big for this place.

However, other noises gained your attention as you walked towards them, Jemma following you. As you came to a door, you saw beds taking up the whole room and it being packed with a diverse group of people.

“Who are these people?” Coulson asked.

“Potentillas. Some of them might have the Inhuman gene or they had a relative who did.” Mace told you.

“HYDRA is hunting them.” Jemma whispered in realisation and horror.

“What happens when they’re caught?” You asked as you gulped. Mace looked at you and seemed to just know.

“You have it, don’t you?” He asked, but in a threatening way; the only people to do that was Coulson and Daisy.

You nodded, feeling Jemma put a supportive hand on your back to silently tell you what to do, “What’s your gift?” At his question, you held up your hand and clicked your fingers together, making a flame flicker.

“Ah, fire, so you are the one we heard reports about a little bit ago.” You felt fear at his words.

“With the HYDRA agents?” He nodded, “Yeah….yeah that was me.” You said, disappointed in yourself.

“Wait, so that was why –” You cut off your teacher.

“That’s why I left the orphanage.” You said, not wanting to go into it.

“It’s all we can do for them if we find them first, give them shelter.” Mace told you in regard to the people.

After failing to get Ward or Mace to see that this world was a fake, you get to go find Radcliff, the man who had trapped you here and built this world.

As you surrounded him, a Quinjet landed on the ground. You all ran for cover, taking it, you watched as the Doctor left it with Madam HYDRA. However, according to Jemma, he wasn’t the doctor, but he was Fitz.

Ward got his sniper up, but Jemma was trying to beg him to not pull the trigger. She looked to you with a pleading look, but you didn’t exactly know what to say on how to stop it.

However, a shot went off, that being Fitz killing Radcliffe’s wife; as he did, Jemma revealed your position. Bullets then flew as you all ran back to the Quinjet and took off as quickly as you could.

You put a hand on Jemma’s shoulder to try and show that she wasn’t alone. She put her hand on yours in a silent thank you.

 Jemma was then gone with Trip, but you had chosen to stay behind to help out in the base. Before she left, Jemma gave you a hug, one you returned slowly, “Keep safe.” Was all she asked of you. You repeated it to her.

As you waited around, helping some people with supplies and what not, Daisy had approached you, “Hey, kid.” She greeted you. You hadn’t seen her in a while, your smile communicated your relief that she was ok; she mirrored your smile, “Come on, we got a job to do.” She said, leading you to the living area.

On the TV was an ex-HYDRA’s (Melinda May was her name, which Daisy told you as she introduced you both to one another) footage of what actually happened in the death of the Patriot at a school where they send Inhumans and children.

You were just lucky you escaped that fate.

 You had gone to a TV station to seize it and use it to broadcast the footage. It wasn’t very guarded, so it was fairly easy to get into; besides, Daisy mainly used her powers to help get you in. You, however, burned the guns out of one guards hand while Daisy took him down; then burning the lock to the door that Ward the booted open.

As you tied the old broadcaster, Bakshi, up to get him out of the way so Coulson could instead present the footage May had to get the truth out about HYDRA.

Daisy left to talk with Ward, while you looked around at the place; you had heard the news before, hearing Bakshi slate anyone that dared to go against the status quo. You, meanwhile, had never really believed it.

Although, you were against the status quo after all by being an Inhuman. So, there’s that.

Either way, you now watched as Coulson showed the harrowing footage. For once, things were looking up. For once, people were waking up to how corrupt and broken HYDRA were.

For once, you felt like your life was looking up.

“Hey,” You looked to Daisy as she walked out of the room where she spoke with Ward. As she approached you, she had a smile on her face, “We did good.” She said as she stood next to you and folded her arms.

“We did.” You admitted. She then turned to looked at you.

“You did good.” She told you.

“…Thank you.” You said, surprised by the words.

“Course.”

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Now it was a race against time, people were rioting in the streets; you had done good, but now you had to get out of here. You had done your part, now it was time to run and leave.

To do that, though, you needed to have the whole team together. You needed to find everyone and get them to one location in order to get out of backdoor.

However, you were now also pretty much public enemy number 1, with HYDRA trying to deal with those riots previously mentioned and also try and catch you as well.

However, you also saw a few issues; mainly the issue of Mack and his daughter. You knew he wasn’t aware yet, and that knowing so would destroy him. You understood why that secret wasn’t known to himself yet, you got that it would probably not have the effect you would want.

You understood how much he cared for his daughter, you were a bit envious of it; you had been the cause of the death of your family; hence why you were alone and on the streets.

However, before you were going to be called to action, you were doing your own thing; that being standing the map room and looking over the map of the area that didn’t exist. You looked at the place that you called your own on the map and traced that line to where you roughly were now. Those streets that were once filled with fear were now filled with anger as everyone came together to go up against HYDRA.

Daisy found you in the room, she knocked on the door, gaining your attention, “Hey kiddo.” She said softly.

“Can I ask you something?” She nodded, “Who am I in your world? Why am I here in this one?” You finally asked the question that had been on your mind since Daisy had pretty much ruined this whole world for you; told you that your life here was a lie and not real.

“We met in Saint Agnes; we were friends. Best friends, I’d say.” She started to tell you.

“Did something happen between us? Is that why you were shocked to see me?”

She seemed to hesitate, before she answered, “It’s nothing bad, I wanted to bring you with me, but they wouldn’t tell me where you went. They told me you were happy, told me that the family that had you were good……AIDA, she told me that she’s trying to fix people’s mistake here. I can’t say I can speak for what your regret or mistake was.” She admitted.

“How long has it been since we’ve seen each other?” You knew this conversation wouldn’t be fun for either of you, but you felt like you needed to have it if you were going to go anywhere with them.

“About six years,” She choked up a bit as she said the words, “But, I still tried to find you. Turns out SHIELD dropped me off at the orphanage; I tried to see if that happened to you but there was nothing about you. I’m so sorry.” She apologised as her voice shook more.

Yeah, this wasn’t going very well so far; maybe you should’ve just leave it be.

“No, no, I’m glad you did,” Oh, you must’ve said that out loud, “I just want you to know, that as soon as we’re out of here, I’m going to find you; I swear to you.” She promised you; you looked taken aback by the comment, by the way she seemed damned sure that she’d find you; despite how her voice shook, she sounded firm with her promise.

“I’m sure I can get out of wherever I am on my –”

“No, I left you before, I’m not going to do that again. Those fucking nuns lied to me; you clearly weren’t with a good family. I should’ve found out where you are.”

“You did what you did –” She wasn’t letting you just push this all aside and treat it like nothing; she wasn’t going to let you bottle this up.  

“We were – are friends, friends don’t give up on each other; especially not through things like that.” She said in response; you nodded, but then had your response.

“Yeah, well, I made it through whatever that was. I made it through here as well. Granted, with Coulson, but I still made it through either way.”

“But you shouldn’t have had to.” She argued.

“But I did. Doesn’t matter if I should’ve or not, I did. And I made it through,” You took a breath before the fight went on forever, “Look, I’ll get you out; hell, I might even jump through myself. But, don’t hold your breath on getting me out. I appreciate this Daisy; I appreciate you taking me in and you all helping me; I appreciate this friendship we’ve built; but I’ve made it on my own. I am happy for you that you’ve found them, really. But I was your past, they’re your present and future. I’ll find my own way.”

She couldn’t deny that she was hurt a little by your words, hurt that you were willingly moving on to not confront that pain; to not try and recapture your friendship, but instead to let it go and move on with your life. Did she understand? Of course, she did; but, did she like it? No.

 She held it in her mind as you all went to the Quinjet. However, as you arrived to it, you met a shaken Simmons, who explained to you that she had killed Fitz’s father by accident in self defence while trying to bring the man back to their side.

The place you had gone to was an old factory by the looks of it, one that was run down. Then again, as stated before, a lot of things in this world was run down. So, it wasn’t really a surprise.

As you entered, you saw what you needed to escape in, that being a pit full of lava.

“You know, if we get this wrong, it’s going to be a painful way to go, right?” You said, looking at the others.

“Radcliff told us this was the way out, so I believe him.” Daisy said, assuring you. However, that then led to Mack questioning what you all meant by that. So, it seemed that the moment of truth had arrived.

You stood to the side as you watched the argument unfold, watching as the man still rejected it and looked at you all like you were insane.

Part of you now knew that coming with them was a bad idea. Part of you wanted to go back to base and stay there; part of you wished that you had never walked into Coulson’s classroom in the need of help; part of you wished you hadn’t met Daisy and been dragged into this.

Gunshots then went off, making you all dive for cover as you all fired back at the HYDRA agents stormed the area, looking for you.

Seemed like they were getting control of the riots outside, things were not going your way now.

People slowly went through, the first group being May and Coulson; as they did, a ripple went through, revealing you all as nothing but hollow avatars in a computer simulation.

Next was Fitz and Simmons; finally, Daisy turned to you as you took out one last agent, “Y/N, come on!” She yelled. With her other hand, she held it out for you. You ran and grabbed it. However, as you went to jump, she stopped you.

“I’ll find you, then you can properly meet my new friends.” She said, as she let you go through.

 When you awoke on the other side, you were immediately in arms and lowered to the ground, “Y/N? Y/N, are you ok?” A familiar voice asked you.

Opening your eyes, you saw that it was the one and only, Phil Coulson, “Mr Coulson?” He chuckled a bit at his teacher name.

“Hey, kiddo. Come on, lets get you up.” He said, another pair of arms helping you up. As you blinked to help your vision, you saw that it was May.

“Oh….hi, your that agent.” You said in a slightly groggy voice. Opening your eyes again, you finally took in your surroundings, a decently lit room with an upright stand that once held you and one that still held Mack.

“Where are we?” You asked.

“Underwater.” Coulson said it like it was an everyday occurrence, he shrugged his shoulders, “Welcome to SHIELD?” He said in a more questioning tone, but also as some kind of consolation for being dragged further into this.

However, before you had time to fully process that, AIDA had appeared and taken Fitz. You all cried out as he was taken, and May took the shot that was ordered of her after the fact as Fitz had attempted to talk her down.

However, now you were in an underwater base that you had no idea of how to get out of.  It had finally all hit you; while you were still having memories from the life you once lived in the other world. This time, though, this story was one of abandonment instead of you killing your parents. If you were honest, you didn’t know if that made things better or worse.

Coulson had gotten to know you as much as you’d allow (part of you were still a little concerned and freaked that your only friend in that world was teacher) but, he still remembered that; he still remembered what Daisy had told him about you. Now those two worlds were colliding.

But now, so were yours; your past life in the framework, your old life when you were friends with Daisy, this new life that was being thrown upon you by AIDA with SHIELD.

You put your hands on your knees as your breath picked up; your hands trembled. Coulson was the first to act, leaning down as he put hands on your shoulders, “Y/N, Y/N it’s ok,” All three of you knew it wasn’t, but he and May knew they could solve that issue when they had helped you through this, “Y/N, I need you to focus on my voice. Focus on something else. Focus on your feet, or your hands, or the floor. You can do this.”

He continued to coach you, to try and be a grounding presence. However, it wasn’t until May took over that you met someone’s eyes; her’s.

“Y/N, I know we didn’t talk much, but Daisy cares about you. I know this is a lot to take in, but we’ll be with you every step of the way, alright? You won’t be alone in this, not anymore. We’ll find a way out and she can give us a proper introduction.”

Daisy….your best friend from before all this. You thought she would’ve just moved on; but that was apparently the furthest thing from the truth.

Finally, you started to not feel the heartrate racing, and instead took more measured breaths. As you did, May only kept her eyes on you, while Coulson watched with a soft smile, despite everything going on.

She kept her hand on your shoulder until you put your hand over hers to silently show that you had things mostly under control. Melinda May gave one of her rare smiles, before helping you back up.

“Alright, let’s get out of here.”

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 You were on a submarine with one person you’d seemingly known your whole life, and another person who was on the other side of that war in your life; but now someone that seemed to care for you.

Now, you were fighting evil robots together. Well, they were holding their own for the most part, you were being thrown around and using your ability to fend them back; but they’d only come back for another swing at you.

One was coming behind you, when Coulson slammed a metal bar into it’s head, as it turned to the man, May jumped on it’s back and hit it over and over and over again to finally finish it off.

 May was injured, Coulson was shouldering one side, while you took the other.

“Come on, stay awake. We need to find a way to the surface.” As you continued to walk, Coulson admitted something to his friend, “And I haven’t been totally honest with you about what happened when you were not around.”

“I knew something was up.” May said as you went up a step, “What are you not telling me?” She asked.

“I drank the bottle of Haig.” He said, and it seemed to touch a nerve.

“What? You piece off…” She was cut off when the place shook, before water burst through and knocked you all back.

“We got to get you to the surface!” Coulson yelled.

May, however, made a valid point, “We can’t leave Mack!”

“You’ll drown if you stay.” Was your argument to her statement.

“I’ll get you two up top, then I’ll come back for him! Come on!” He yelled, as you both went back to helping May walk.

“Don’t make all this mean nothing!” You exclaimed to May as she seemed to really want to got back for Mack, but you and Coulson but corrected her movements.

 You had finally made it to the surface, where a kind of white pod was awaiting you, Daisy stuck her head out, “Come on!” She yelled to all of you. However, as May got in the pod, Daisy grabbed your arm and pulled you in, shutting the door shutting behind you as you fell onto the floor.

As you re-opened your eyes, you met the relieved ones of Daisy Johnson, “Told you I’d find you.” She said, in a light-hearted tone as if she’d been practicing it for when she had eventually found you.

You set your head back on the floor, taking a moment to fully get your breath back, “That you did.” You said with a slight, breathless, chuckle.

 It had been a ride and a half to stop AIDA, but you were now sat in a dinner. You were sat next to Daisy and Jemma, who had both even wanted you to go there. So, who were you to deny your new friends.

It was nice to be able to call them that, to have that once again. To have people watching out for you for you and who cared about you.

As Daisy and you laughed at an old memory, you forgot how good it felt; how alive connections made you felt.

And now you’d have people who would die for you and people that you would die for.

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 Haikyuu!! Week 2020 | Day 2 』

· Sept. 26th → One Ball, Heart and Soul ·

Characters: Sawamura Daichi, Testurou Kuroo, Bokuto Koutarou, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Oikawa Tooru, Terushima Yuuji

Prompts: A. favourite position/role + B. travel/journey

Tags/warnings: Haikyuu!! (anime), PG, fluff, crack, headcanons, HaikyuuWeek2020

A/N: I found it so hard to pick a favourite position/role, because they're all so interesting and important, and I love everyone 😭 But I settled on the role of captain because of the headcanons I thought of. Captain Sqaud, assemble! So, want to find out what these boys are like on a road trip?

(Just to be clear, I do love all these guys. None of this is hate 😂) All my Haikyuu Week 2020 posts will be SFW, but I have some NSFW stuff on my blog, too. Feel free to check that out~ Thanks for reading! Please enjoy ♡ Imo~

☆ Sawamura Daichi ☆

Dad-chi™

Comes prepared with all the food, drinks, snacks, med kit, camera – literally everything you could possibly need on a road trip

Plans out the route beforehand down to the tiniest detail nothing gets past this man

As well as multiple backup routes in case there's diversions etc.

Plans for regular breaks at two-hour intervals where everyone can pee, stretch their legs, buy anything they need, etc.

He's the one who's driving he's not letting anybody else get a scratch on his van, lmao

And he's good at it

No speeding he's a cop, y'all but he doesn't dawdle either, no running red lights, turns corners well, keeps an even foot on the gas, etc.

Just a good time, tbh

Nobody is getting car sick because of him that would be a damn disgrace

"Stop fighting right now, or I'm turning this van around"

And will actually do it if you don't stfu, lmfao

Don't even think about making a mess and dropping your rubbish in the van you'll be walking home

Everyone else thinks his music is boring and for old people, but Daichi honestly doesn't care

Besides, it's either that or no music at all, because he needs to concentrate on the road

He takes this shit seriously. People's lives are in his hands, dammit!

☆ Testurou Kuroo ☆

Likes to switch between driving and riding shotgun/being designated navigator

Is fairly decent at both

Is constantly eating something but, like, he probably doesn't even know what it is

Some kind of edible is shoved towards his mouth by whoever's riding shotgun, and in it goes shut up. Not like that, you cretins 😂

Somehow manages to behave like an overbearing grandparent and an overexcited child at the same time?? Nothing new there, I guess 😂

I'm sorry, Kuroo, I love you. Please don't be mad 😭

Has a banging playlist full of throwback songs from the 90s and early 2000s

Drums along sofly on the steering wheel or dashboard constantly

HATES driving in rain he's low-key terrified he's going to aquaplane

Likes driving with the windows wound down and feeling the wind in his hair

Will plan the route, but then forget to save it/print it off, etc.

Cannot work Google Maps or SAT-NAVs to save his life Kenma, please help him

Actually packs properly balanced meals, but is heavy on the snacks, too

You'd think he'd drive too fast, but he's actually really responsible

Constantly telling dad jokes to try and keep people amused the groaners are the best

Would probably fight someone at the gas station if they started being a dick and causing trouble

Kuroo, baby. I love you, but please don't get arrested 😭😂😭

☆ Bokuto Koutarou ☆

Dear God, do NOT let him drive leave it to Akaashi, I'm begging you

Has really bad spacial awareness in a vehicle and drifts all over the place

Probably speeds without even knowing it, too

Likes to ride shotgun, but is a terrible navigator, so is nearly always made to ride in the back

Is the loud one that moves around too much and blocks the rear view mirror strap him in tight, Akaashi

Belts along at the top of his voice to whatever music is playing, he's not fussy

Was told to pack essential items in his backpack and proceeded to fill it with sweets and snacks and a pack of condoms??? and thought he did good

Bokuto: Bro, you said they were essential

Akaashi: NOT FOR EVERY SITUATION

Rarely ever has to pee, but when he does, it's always miles away from any service station, and he has to hold it for hours

Has definitely peed at the side of the road multiple times because he couldn't hold it any longer, but he wasn't even embarrassed as numerous cars zoomed past

Likes sticking his head out the window like a dog on the motorway which gives everyone else heart attacks

Like, get the hell back inside you maniac 😭

If the car has a sunroof, he's 100% standing up through it with his hands in the air just you try and stop him

And they will. Everyone will try

"HORSES!!"

Will get out of the car in traffic jams to find out what's going on and end up chatting with random strangers until it starts moving again

And he's very sad when he has to leave his new friends. Droopy hair and emo Kou for the next 2 hours :(

Unironically enjoys playing 'I Spy' for hours at a time

Is a bit much to handle in such a confined space for hours on end, but he's just so excited for the road trip

Will fall sound asleep in a matter of minutes if you set him up with a travel pillow and it's freaking adorable!!

☆ Ushijima Wakatoshi ☆

No music whatsoever it's distracting. Why would he want it?

Okay driver, brilliant paper-map navigator

Will sit and do absolutely nothing but stare out the window the entire trip if he's neither

Breaks too hard and accelerates too fast, though

Is also kind of heavy-handed with the gear stick he may or may not have snapped one off before...

Never give him a SAT-NAV, though, because he will follow the directions with 100% accuracy and end up driving through a wall or some shit don't try and deny it

Does he ever even blink when he's looking at the road? We may never know

Might be astral projecting, who knows

Forgets people need toilet breaks but refuses to make unscheduled stops

"Just hold it in"

Uh-huh, sure. That's how that works, Toshi

No snacks

Or rather, no fun snacks. Protein bars and mineral water all the way, babyyyy 🙃🙃🙃

Could probably drive all through the night without taking any breaks but that's irresponsible

Don't do it, kids

Will likely devour the entire KFC menu at the service station he's big, okay? He eats a lot

Is prone to leg cramp after long drives oh look, he needs a massage 😏

Doesn't get car sick. Ever. Upset stomachs are for the weak

Has garbage and recycling pouches on the backs of the front seats use them correctly, or feel his wrath

Isn't exactly a barrel of laughs, but it's somehow endearing just like always *happy sigh*

But it's actually a good thing

There's no hidden side to Ushi or any bad or annoying habits that come out of the woodwork on a long road trip

He's just the same old reliable, adorably straightforward Ushijima ❤

☆ Oikawa Tooru ☆

Calls shotgun and demands the aux cord every. Single. Time but it's pretty decent music, so no-one really complains

Not that he's any good at navigation pray for Iwa-chan

Is constantly taking selfies, making TikToks, and documenting the trip on his social media

#ROADTRIP #SQUAD GOALS #BETTER THAN YOU

Will send all the photos in the group chat when it's over, and they actually come out pretty well

Will not stop complaining if the air conditioning is busted and Iwa-chan will threaten to dump him in the middle of nowhere if he doesn't can it 😂

Iwa-chan: I shoulda left you on that street corner where you were standing

Oikawa: But'cha dIDN'T

Bonus points if you get that reference, lmao

Has to keep taking breaks because his butt hurts when he sits down for too long because it's fLaT

I'm sorry, Tooru 😭😭 Forgive me. I love you, really

Is constantly on his phone

But he points out pretty views and interesting sights to everyone all the time awww

Low-key needs to pee all the time, but gets defensive if someone brings it up please stop bulling him, travelling is hard

"Are we there yet?"

Seems kind of annoying, but is actually just genuinely excited to go on a road trip and spend time with his friends 😭😭

Buys matching souvenirs for everyone in secret to surprise them with 🥺

When people complain about all the photos, souvenirs, and enthusiasm, etc. and ask why he has to keep doing it, Oikawa says:

"I want to remember as much of this as possible. I want us all to remember as much of this as much as possible," with a sweet little smile 😭😭😭

And that's when everyone realises how mean they've been to him about being over-the-top and irritating, and they all feel terrible

Just like in the freaking anime, man

☆ Terushima Yuuji ☆

Will hijack the aux cord to play his incredibly niche music taste

Feet up on the dashboard when he rides shotgun

Shoes on is bad enough, but shoes off just stinks up the entire car you have to roll all the windows down, lmfao

Will break all sorts of road laws if you let him behind the wheel please don't

Daichi will come and arrest him 😭😭

Lives on energy drinks

That's all the drinks he packs. Nothing else

Travels in sports wear and sliders yes, even though you reallly shouldn't drive in sandals

Like he knows or cares 😭

Will chat to girls at the gas station and ask for their numbers, even though he's never going to see them again

"You never know, man! It could be, like, fate or something"

Yes, Yuuji, you do. And it's 'or something'

Thinks it's a good time to sext his current booty call because, like, he has hours of free time. What else is he going to do?

Probably forgot to pack actual food

Has to live off of snacks and cheap service station food for the duration of the trip

But not his own snacks, of course. Everyone else's one doesn't keep friends and buy one's own snacks

Genuinely doesn't realise if he's being gross or annoying, so let him down lightly like a bro and he'll probably make an effort to stop

Doesn't plan the route or anything, even if he's driving. Just punches it into Google Maps as he sits his ass down on the day and trusts it to get him there in one piece and on time

Entire Johzenji team: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...

For some reason knows how to change a flat tire, though, so he's good for something, I guess 😂😂

Probably saw a YouTube video on it. Maybe a WikiHow article

Somehow still manages to be an endearing part of the trip??

He smiles a lot and makes a lot of jokes, particularly when things go wrong, so it keeps everyone's spirits up

It definitely wouldn't be the same without him

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

[janiedean]

you: complain people only ship sansa wit hot men and call em shallow you: never write smut of sansa in the ships u defend as not shallow but instead write lot of jb smut uhhhhhm

my dearest anon, I would quite like to point out to you that your reasoning is entirely not logical/consequential and that your argumentation honestly is... something, because first of all I never complain that people only shipped sansa with hot guys. sansan was the most popular asoiaf ship back in the day and it’s not like sanrion doesn’t have numbers, like... I never said people don’t ship sansa with nothot guys the way I was like ‘yeah but no one writes jonsam’ back in the day. I was specifically discussing the fact that a lot people who don’t ship either sansan or sanrion go harassing the shippers because they’re supposedly shipping smth horribly problematic when their own ships are problematic for the exact same reasons (see: if you complain sandor or tyrion are too old but then ship sansa/jaime when jaime is older than both of the other your argument makes no sense) and when they’re problematic for other reasons that they downplay it (I mean you can tell me that sansan is problematic for a shitload of reasons I can raise you that j*nsa is incest in two different ways) therefore creating a shit fandom climate where if you ship sansa with either sandor or tyrion and you have plenty of textual reasons to that grrm has put there then you get told you hate sansa or don’t understand the text... when then a lot of those other shippers basically grab the stuff your ship is about and applies it to theirs when it makes no sense instead of just liking theirs for what it is. also sorry but no one wants to get told that their own thing is ohsohorribleandproblematic by people who sanitize stuff that’s problematic af from the get go (see: sansamarg), but what have you.

I also never discussed the issue of writing smut and I don’t get what jb has to do with it - is it because you mean ‘you write porn just including hot guys and not sandor and tyrion’, because then you didn’t go on my ao3 where I have at least three sansan smut pieces [and I write sansan less than jb because back in the day sansan was wildly popular and jb was not and I happen to be more interested in jb and I leave sansan to people who have their main interest there but it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy it when I have the right idea!] there, > da mi basia mille, deinde centum, dein mille altera, dein secunda centum, somebody to love, for your sweet kiss is all I wish to be owning :) and I wrote porn with sandor and jaime too at some point just fyi, and when it comes to tyrion... surprise, as I ship sansan and I only write sanrion on request/for friends (because again... sansan is my main sansa ship and I like sanrion and I’d be entirely okay if it was endgame but it’s not a ship I have IDEAS™ for) I don’t generally go there for smut buuut.... spoilers, my #1 tyrion ship is with bronn not with sansa and *checks* out of the three fics rated explicit on that tag where they’re the main ship two are mine and I wrote it also not explicit so like I don’t think you can go and say I don’t write porn with tyrion, I do... just with someone I ship him with more than sansa X°DDDDDD and again my problem isn’t the porn quantity for whichever ship, my problem is that going around saying that us or sanrion shippers are perverts bc we dare ship sansa with supposedly gross old men when calling gross two guys who a) are disabled b) have trauma c) were actually better to her than anyone else that wasn’t related to her is admittedly iffy and reeks of ableism a whole damned lot doesn’t make you look progressive. nor it makes you look progressive saying that theon is a good alternative for her bc he can’t hurt her and they’re referencing to that thing that’s only show canon which honestly.... if you say that a dude wouldn’t hurt a woman because someone castrated him while torturing him it’s not the progressive take anyone thinks it is and I’m going to leave it there because idt it needs further explaining honestly

and the fact that I write a lot of jb smut has no relation to any of this because guess what... it’s my m/f otp for these books and the m/f thing I shipped more in my entire life never mind the only one I ever found one character in relatable for personal reasons so of course I’ll write it more than others? and it has absolutely zero relation to however much porn I write for other ships X°D anon honestly if you want to argue at least read my actual argument? because this isn’t the jonsam situation where we all know that if sam was standard hot nerd the ao3 tag wouldn’t be stuck at 132 fics, it’s something else entirely X°D

[trilies]

an argument for AO3

So I’m in a conversation with someone who is kind of in the “against AO3″ camp, and they asked me a couple of questions. Namely, who wouldn’t be uncomfortable with pedophilia? Isn’t it sketchy that a beta website is asking for so much money despite reaching its goals?

And my answer became so long... I figured it might as well become its own post. Please bear in mind that this is cut from a whole conversation.

But here it is.

------

No. It doesn't seem sketchy to me at all. Why would it? I know we make jokes about how much money tumblr has cost the various sites which purchase it like Yahoo, but there's some truth there: it's really expensive to host a website to thousands and thousands of people. It's why we see so many tumblr owners trying to shoehorn in ads or make people buy services, or why Photobucket tried to pull that truly atrocious bullshit a year or two back. Without image hosting capabilities (tumblr and photobucket's big thing), the strain isn't as huge.... but AO3 is MASSIVE. It is hosting literally thousands of accounts, millions of stories. That's massive on a server scale alone, ignoring all the other work they do. Yeah, it's in beta... but that's because it's trying to reach a goal of being as good a fanfic archive as they can be, and they don't believe they've reached that goal yet. Being in beta means they can better listen to their uses on shit like tagging systems and make those changes. Not to mention, again, they are INCREDIBLY transparent. If you are worried about where the money is going, you can go on the site and they have all their stuff up there.

As for the pedophilia subject matter.... Please give me a moment. because there's honestly a lot to say on that particular issue, if nothing else. This will take a while, so if you see this and there hasn't been a reply yet.... I'm still typing lmao.

To start with, of course people are uncomfortable about pedophilia. However, there are a lot of problems with how pedophilia is viewed or *used* as an accusation in the current fandom climate.

For example, in honestly EXTREMELY recent times, I was told I was "defending" pedophilia because I disagreed that a character (an immortal food gijinka) was "minor-coded" or "designed as an underage teenager". (As a note, an argument for this view was that the character's breasts were too small.) When I pointed out, hey, that's kind of a fucked up accusation to throw at a complete stranger, especially as I am a CSA survivor, I was told "You have to be lying about that, then, because a real CSA survivor would understand."

c o o l

That's just my personal experience that happened within a couple of months. Other people have talked about running into people who think that a character turning 18 means they're a pedophile for still dating a 17 year old. Or running into people who think a 40 year old dating someone in their 30s is pedophilic. Or believe that even SHIPPING characters who were not yet 18 was pedophilic if you yourself were over 18.

(Of course, you also have the kinds of people who try to use Moral Purity as a way to bash ships they don't like. I once saw someone try to claim that a popular mlm ship, A/B, was pedophilic because one half of the equation looked young.... when some other artists drew him... Of course, on the side, this person liked to also get angry that *their* favorite ship, a dude/chick ship composing of A/C, wasn't more popular. So. You know.)

So that's one half of the problem: the word "pedophile" being so warped that a lot of people now have no idea if the person using it has a genuine concern or if the accuser is trying to smear someone who doesn't ship the same thing. FFnet and Tumblr have gone with the "burn it all down" approach, which hasn't actually helped anyone and is, to boot, sloppily moderated. So we know from history, from experience in cases like mine, that it doesn't help in that area.

The other half of the problem is... How far is too far?

This is where "anti" culture begins to find similarities with the whole Warriors for Innocence thing. If you completely and blindly block an entire tag, or anyone associated with it, you have to ask: who are you hurting? Warriors for Innocence hurt actual rape victim, and queer folk, and a whole lot of others. Far as I can tell, anti culture is on the route to the same thing, because I have yet to see appropriate answers to a lot of issues.

If one says "anything with underage sex in it is bad and should be banned", what about fics that tackle it in a serious manner? The young adult novel "Speak" deals with rape of an underage girl and how she works through that mental trauma; are fics with stories equivalent to that allowed? Do fics with underage sex have to focus purely on how it is Horrible And Bad to be allowed? Does only a chapter have to be allowed? A paragraph? An author's note? A tag? Or are we allowed to never explore dark subject matter?

Is fic with underage content in it only horrible if it's someone over the age of eighteen who writes it? Can a teenager write smut (terribly written as it may likely be) between teenage characters? Can a teenager write smut between a teenage character and an adult character? For the record, i did in fact, over the summer, run into someone who said that teens/minors "shouldn't even know about NSFW", which is asinine to me, because Abstinence Only is a terrible thing to put in schools, and somehow worse in a way when you try to put that into effect in fandom. If the answer is 'yes', what are you going to do, demand to see people's birth certificates in fandom?

(As a note, I think this is a terrible message to put into fandom for teenagers because I believe it will inevitably lead to self hatred and a warped view of sex. If you make the extremely simplified black-and-white statement of "teens and sex should never go together ever in any way", that's going to mess up teens who are starting to experience arousal in their bodies. The message, whether intended or not, ends up as "NSFW things are bad, which means my brain which thought NSFW thoughts is bad, and my brain thought those thoughts because my body had these feelings". )

(This is bad for any average teenager. This will be especially worse to CSA and rape victims, along with queer youth who, in a lot of places, are still struggling with their bodies and/or feelings because the world is still pretty damn queerphobic.)

Speaking of CSA and rape victims, what about those of them who write/read underage ships or dark content as a way to cope with what happened or Just Because? That's a thing lots of us do, especially those of us who don't look like the Perfect Victims people can use as an excuse for whatever crusade they're waging. I've heard anti types go "Well, it's an unhealthy way to cope" or claims that CSA/rape victims who write such dark content are "just as bad as their abusers"... But are they psychiatrists/therapists? Are they the psychiatrists/therapists of *those specific people*? Will you moderate this kind of content by forcefully interrogating CSA/rape victims to out their trauma to a complete stranger? Will you demand to speak to their therapists? Over fanfic?

When I was a teenager, I wrote all sorts of stuff. I wrote dark dub-con fic, because I liked to explore those dark feelings in the process and the aftermath separate from myself. I wrote a fic with a fairly young teenage girl (what age was kh2 kairi? who even knows, I sure didn't) falling for a MUCH older man built like a brick shit house so that there was never any doubt to him being an adult, even giving him her first kiss, because they were my favorite characters, I wanted both of them to have a moment of happiness (that i promptly ruined but hey), and, *in this fic*, I knew it would be alright. I knew the girl would always be in control, she'd be the one making moves, that the guy was nonthreatening and kind and protect her and work alongside her.

(and then I began the process of killing him off in the next paragraph through him saving her life, but, like. Drama (tm), baby)

This was all good for me. At an age where I was young, vulnerable, and figuring out weird shit like arousal and romantic feelings, it was *invaluable* to have a space where I could explore all of that while relatively safe from actual danger, even if the stuff I wanted to explore was a little messed up. This whole thing against AO3 wouldn't have helped me, and I'm pretty sure it's not helping a lot of other people too.

There is an issue with underage people and sex stuff- not just in fandom but in culture at large. We have Hollywood dressing up young girl actresses in super slinky or revealing clothes. We have schools saying girls basically should never wear shorts, and capitalism fucking this up further by only selling SUPER SHORT shorters. We have media of all sorts giving us adults, whether in real actors or character design, in the roles of young people. (See: "how do you do, fellow kids") We should probably take more care about fandom spaces, so that people of all ages don't feel pressured to engage in sexual shit they're not 100% game for or into, or just have it shoved into their faces without consent. It's a complex issue... and it's not stuff that can just be 'banned' and have that fix it.

AO3 has on its plate a very complex problem that will, if we're all honest, never have a perfect answer. It has given us the best that can possibly be asked for. It obeys the law by not having actual child pornography on it (aka visual proof of actual real children, defined by us law as such), which is closest to "objective" we can get at the current stage in humanity and state of fandom. It has a very comprehensive and moderated tag system, so that people can post warnings along their fic so that people don't stumble onto shit they don't need to, and so that people can moderate their own reading experience to some degree.

If some people aren't comfortable with AO3, that's fine. However, most of us are getting annoyed not with those people, but with the people who just blindly say "AO3 supports child porn and is probably stealing money" (statement simplified for the purpose of this post). It shows an ignorance of the fandom history that lead us here, no understanding in either AO3's practices or how expensive it is to run a site, and no consideration for how complex this problem can really be. It would be great if this was a black and white issue, if there was an easy answer as just "banning" certain kinds of content... but there isn't. And that's where I am.

[yuna-dan]

Comfort Drink

It’s been ages since I’ve written something for this fandom but I was super thrilled when I got this comission, it’s also my very fist comission!!! 

It got longer than the stablished “1550″ words, so I hope you don’t mind?

Thank @thealphabetmurders​ for this comission! And I hope you like it as much as I enjoy writting this.

--

Warning: Mention of violence. Swearing. Kinda Katara bashing but not on purpose, she’s doing her best.

Summary: Five Times Zuko went to a coffeeshop and didn't drink anything and one time he did."What are you doing here?” He asked, only to rethink his words, “Not that I’m not thrilled to see you, spirits, it’s been…” “Five years.” Zuko ended the sentence for him

 if you wanna be added to the tag list please interact with this

Buy me a kofi?  | Masterpost |  Comission Info

--

1. 

“Sorry we’re closed.” Sokka said, without even looking at the person, closing the door with his keys. He wanted nothing more than to take a shower, get the coffee beans out of his apron and stayed up all night watching Netflix.

The man hasn’t moved, so Sokka guessed it was either a junkie, a jerk or someone homeless. He gasped in surprised when he turned around only to see him there.

Zuko was staring at him, his mismatched eyes seeing everything but his face, “Hi.”

Sokka cleaned his throat, “What are you doing here?” He asked, only to rethink his words, “Not that I’m not thrilled to see you, spirits, it’s been…”

“Five years.” Zuko ended the sentence for him.

Sokka felt as if the air on his lungs was airbended out of them, five years since they graduated highschool, five years since he had seen the possible love of his life Zuko, and now they were here, outside his shitty job wearing a grey suit and his hair now was long.

He had so many things to say, but in the end he just said.

“Neat.”

Zuko chuckled and look away. For a moment he thought he was making a fool of himself, but then again, this was Zuko, his highschool sweetheart.

“It was nice seeing you again, Sokka.” He finally said, and bowed, the motherfucker had the audacity to bowed when they’ve known what their mouths taste like.

Then he left, leaving Sokka was once again with a lot of questions on the tip of his tongue.

Later, much later when he was texting Katara he brought it up.

What do you mean you see him?

Even on text he could read how mad his sister was, he texted with only one hand as he brushed his teeth with the other.

I was closing the coffeshop and he bumped into me, I think it was just coincidence.

He snorted when he saw his little sister’s response

It better be

Sokka hoped it wasn’t, but then again, life didn’t work like he wanted to.

2.

It wasn’t coincidence, or at least twice in the same month would be a very slim coincidence, but here was, the ex-heir of Ozai’s fortune standing in the line, wearing his peasant clothes.

He wanted to ask, what are you doing here? But it came out as a “Welcome to the White Lotus, what can I get for you, Zuko?

Zuko was nervous, at first glance it wasn’t obvious, but Sokka knew this guy, he noticed small things like the way his marred cheek was twitching or the way his left hand was doing small circles.

“It’s good I get here before you close…” Sokka smiled, because goddammit, Zuko was terrible at small talks but he was trying.

“Well, more coffee shops close after 10 p.m.” He replied, leaning against the counter. He was very glad today wasn’t so busy, “but tell me Jerkbender, what can I get for you?”

“A jasmine tea.”

And of course, Sokka already knew this, Zuko continuously expressed his hatred toward tea but Uncle Iroh had rubbed into him. Whenever Zuko was sad or missing home, his comfort drink was jasmine tea.

The nonbender bit his tongue, are you okay? he wanted to say, but it came out as a “Coming right out you, Zuko.”

Sokka entertain himself making the tea, and when he called Zuko’s name, nobody came.

It wasn’t the first time Zuko left unfinished something, and this time, it didn’t hurt that much.

He drank the tea, and the moist on his eyes was due to the steam, and nothing else.

That night he crashed into Toph and Suki apartment, because he missed his friends, not because he felt lonely. He decided on not telling the rest of the gaang he’s seen Zuko, but for some reason he guessed Toph already knew.

3.

The next time it happened, Sokka wasn’t even there.

It was Katara who told him what happened, with her smug face as if she was proud on what she did. Aang kept eyeing him, ready to break the possible fight.

So, according to his sister in went like this:

Zuko was sitting on a table, alone minding his own business when Katara went, and scared the shit out of him, “You have to order something for you to sit here.”

Aang later told Sokka that Zuko’s face was for a second of happiness, and then it turned out into a mixture of pout and sadness, “Katara, it’s good seeing you here.”

Katara narrated how she screamed at him, “I don’t want to see your pathetic face here, why you don’t run with your father?”

That’s when Sokka interrupted his sister, “You told him what?”

“To go back with his father.”

Which was low, because yes, what Zuko did in highschool was rude but that was a low blow, “You told the guy who’s dad burned his face, who spent a long time waiting for his approval and practically ruined his life to do what?”

Katara did look ashamed for a split second, but retorted anyways, “He abandoned you without an explanation.”

And of course Sokka knew, he was the one who spent almost three months laying on his bed wondering why he wasn’t enough for Zuko, why his boyfriend left him without even breaking up. “And? That’s my fight, Katara, not yours!”

She frowned, “He is not even here and no we’re fighting because of him.”

Sokka hit the table with his palms, out of frustration more than anger, “No Katara, we’re fighting because you shouldn’t fight my battles that took place over five years ago, because no matter how angry or mad you are, you never attack a person on battle wounds.”

He left in the middle of his shift and went directly to his apartment. He logically knew that Katara meant well, but it was all over the situation where she took a role that wasn’t hers.

It wasn’t until he came out of a hot steaming shower and grabbed his phone that he realized some things. He owned Yue a shift, since she covered his after he stormed out fuming.

And that he had three missed calls from Toph.

Without even thinking he dialed her number, hoping it was just her dramatic ways and not something important. For some reason he didn’t understand, it was always Toph the one who break bad news to him, so his reasons to be nervous were on point.

He heard three beeps on the other side of the line before the earthbender picked up her phone, and without missing a beat she said, “I was the one who told Zuko where you work, he needs to tell you something.”

So, her dramatic ways, apparently.

It took him a moment to understand what was happening, “What?”

He heard how Toph coughed on the other side, he guessed either Aang or Suki was with her forcing her to come out clean, “Yeah, I-Huh,” she cleaned her throat, “We’ve been talking for a couple of months, and he said he wanted to tell you what really happened five years ago, so I told him to man up and to do it.”

“Why?”

“Cuz you’re both assholes who have been suffering for five years?”

“No, I mean…” He laid on his bed, the wet towel still on his hair, “Why are you still talking to him?”

“He’s still my friend, and y’know, us rich disinherit kids stick with each other.” Sokka knew that for Toph, it still hurt how much their parents overprotection lingered on her, so he understood. Not in a direct way, of course not, but in a I was there when everything happened and I’m your friend way

“Oh.”

“Yeah, he’s still an idiot when it comes to communication though.”

“Yeah, he is.”

4.

Sokka definitely didn’t went to Zuko’s Instagram and Facebook, he was smarter than that.

Except he was smart, but he was still a man who loved gossip, so putting aside his mental health he purposely went to Zuko’s pages. He found four main important things.

A. Uncle Iroh was still around, and god did Sokka’s heart relaxed at that. That man was pure gold. Iroh posted a photo of himself and Zuko a month ago. They were both smiling, Iroh broadly as always and Zuko with a shy but genuine smile. Behind them there was a small house. B. There were photos (two of them) of a small child and a woman who looked like Azula, but older. C. He was still in contact with Mai and Ty Lee, which wasn’t relevant to be honest. D. He didn’t seem to have any relationship, and for some reason his heart did a small flip at that.

He was lost on his thoughts when he noticed his gloomy ex sitting on the sidewalk in front of the shop. Katara would say that what he did next was without thinking, but they were mad at each other right now, so her opinion didn’t count.

So he flipped the “Open/Close” sign and went to sit next to him.

“Gathering courage?” He asked as he sat down, grabbing his phone to pretend he was busy.

He heard the firebender laughing, “Kinda. You see, five years ago I made a mistake and I’ve been trying to talk to him, but apparently I’m still as socially awkward as I was five years ago…”

“You hair got longer.”

Zuko snorted, “I’m sorry, for real.”

Sokka wanted to say something but it got lost when he decided to kiss Zuko right there.

5.

Sokka decided that Zuko wasn’t ready to tell him everything, just the my mom wasn’t really death and when she came back Ozai tried to kill her, so we had to run away was enough for Sokka to stop and rethink everything. Even Katara, was ashamed when Zuko told them (again, not all the story).

Zuko was sitting on a small couch inside the coffeeshop, once again without ordering something, “You need to order something in order to sit here.” Sokka said, as a joke when his shift was over.

“Ozai died last year.” Zuko said instead and that took Sokka by surprise.

“That’s rough, buddy.” He found himself saying, and for some reason it was okay.

+1

Zuko was sitting on a chair near the counter, reading an essay on economics for his class. Sokka dropped a soft kiss on his hair, “Zuko I have a question for you.”

“Mmm?”

“You never order a thing, why?”

Zuko look up and stared into his eyes, “I don’t like giving you orders.”

Sokka burst into laughter, and decided to buy his boyfriend a jasmine tea, after all it was Zuko’s comfort drink.

---

Thank you so much for reading, yes I finished writing and editing this at 3:30 am, so points for effort, i guess? I won’t tag anyone but Roz cuz this is not my main fandom (for now) so I won’t spam y’all.

Thanks again for comissioning me!

[tylerwritez]

7:45 p.m. Sunday June 20th

Okay well... writing about the entirety of my day is gonna be. Quite the task.

Whatever. I'm dedicated to making this blog A Thing.

Today was Father's Day, so the first thing I did was get up and go downstairs. Gave my dad his presents. He made us pancakes. (I definitely ate too much today... but tommorow is monday so itll be easier to restrict)

We are, watched youtube, then we drove to Wabuman Lake. Idk,, the drive was just that: a typical car ride in which I struggle to find "car friendly" songs, aka songs that everyone will like... aka anything but metal and vocaloid... aka Radiohead, Weezer and Soda Stereo XD

When we got there, we rented a yellow paddleboat, which is this clunky plastic boat that you pedal to move, like some weird water bicycle. It was sunny, and honestly? I've always found being on the water to be calming. After that, we got ice cream (I got Blueberry Cheesecake flavour, my sister R got Cookies N Cream, and my dad got Burgundy Cherry)

I noted that there were at least 2 historical buildings there, along with... I forgot what I was gonna say. Nothing important.

Oh yeah, lots of cool old shiny cars.

We drove back. Got home, exhausted. I cleaned a bit. Idk. Didnt do much until after supper. Since we had fast food for lunch, we only ate a piece of bread and fruit smoothies for supper. We went out, I got a monster XD even tho my parents told me not to...

I got home, took a shower. While I was in the shower my dad got pissed at me for eating some of his chocolate but HE WAS SO SO SO MAD I was thinking to myself he cant be this mad over some choclate but you never know with my parents... they kinda hate me but also dont at the same time it's weird and hard to navigate.

Anwyays when I went downstairs he just. Seemed to have forgotten it ever existed and I mean, if he didnt mention it I wasn't gonna either. I did some homework then "went to sleep" aka went to my room, turned off the light, and pretended to sleep but actually talked to people online

People keep inviting me to hang out with them and I just hope my parents say yes to it all...

My friend Bee on Tuesday, Jay on Wednesday, on Saturday a group picnic...

If they say no to any of this I'll cry /hj

My talk with Jay tonight: I want to fuck him again RIGHT NOW. GET IN MY FUCKINF BED. RIGHT NOWWWW ugh. But also I noticed that since I explained one of my tone tags to him... HE USED ONE IN CONVO WITH ME. And idk. That made me so happy? I dont  know. I like how he proves consistently and constantly that he CARES about being considerate and cares about me.

That's a lot of the letter C but yeah.

And he said at some point that he missed

My body... and my shitty nerd gaming stuff and like. Omg he LIKES MY INTERESTS. I DIDNT BORE HIM TALKING ABOUT COMIC BOOKS AND VIDEO GAMES! SCORE. also he said he'd be down to cuddle without fucking which is. Great too... since I'm touchstarved and well... I call him Daddy. Nuff said.

As for Star... sometimes she just says shit that concerns me like it's nothing and I never know how to respond because I cant help her! I'm not a fucking mental health professional.

... when I told her mY shit she wasnt one either... why do I even try n help. Why dont I just tell her to go to therapy?

I'm angry at her a bit actually. She says shit like "haha just purged" and I'm like.... okay??? What do u want me to say to that.

Or like,,, I NEED TONE TAGS, OKAY??? I DO. this is mainly why I'm mad. She keeps making jokes without /j and I dont register them as jokes.... or maybe they aren't jokes at all and she just says they're jokes cos I get upset.

Sometimes instead of actually telling me how she feels, she uses this emoticon and... I dont understand what shes tryna tell me. And it keeps stressing me out. Idk. I told her look I dont understand it and she said "I'm tired of this Jude, it's a fucking emoticon" and like...

She tells me all the time no ur not overreacting dont let people tell you that you are and here she is. Telling me I'm overreacting. OUCH. THAT ACTUALLY MADE ME CRY IRL. STOP INVALIDATING MY FEELINGS PLEASE.

It actually  hurt me. Like I'm fr crying right now because. Ouch. How hard is it to just put a fucking "/j" after ur words? How hard is it to... use words and explain how u feel instead of giving me a straight faced emoticon. Its frustrating.

Also she keeps saying shit like "omg ur never horny what's wrong w u omg I'm the only one with a sex drive in this relationship how come u never initiate anything I need to fuck someone maybe *sends pic of model* maybe her" which like. A) is ignoring all the times I DID initiate stuff and B) makes me feel inadequate and like. I dont know. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not enough.

:/ I cant really be mad at her for my own brain being stupid.

Why am I so stupid? How come I never understand when people are joking? How come I have these weird things I do to feel comfortable? Why do I twitch and flap my wrists? Why is my ability to sleep restricted by the amount of weight on top of me (I need lots of weight)?

Why am I the worst person ever? I'm being 100 percent serious. My brain doesnt work! It doesnt. My emotions are too strong. They fuck everything up. I hate myself. Like, when Star said "I'm tired of this Jude, it's a fucking emoticon", I started crying. But when Jay said "I always want you to feel comfortable around me", I immediately felt such love toward him and I told him I love you... but I had to say it was as friends. Cos we have a "friends with benefits" thing going on... not even an actual relationship.

Well now I'm sad that he doesnt like me romantically but whatever. Hes too perfect and sweet anywayssss he deserves better than me.

Wait. Where does that leave me?

Alone? Again?

Alone?

ALONE????

Maybe I deserve it... but I actually genuinely cant live like that. I cant. I cant live. Without love. My parents fucked me up like that 🤪

But also I realized that I'm a lot happier in good relationships where people show me they love me and care about me and such.

FUCK JAY JUST TOLD ME HOW MUCH HE LIKES ME... even if it's just as a friendship thing.... I appreciate it so much. Hes so fucking sweet it hurts. I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM SO SO MUCH. he told me, our sex can be rough but our relationship has to be built off trust and respect... LITERALLY FUCK ME RIGHT NOW.

Update we are now officially "best friends forever" but we also kiss and fuck and cuddle okay. That's a thing. I LOVE HIM. it's okay though. I don't know I said yeah let's be bffs then I physcially cringed. It's okay though. I'll be fine. It functions as a sexy romance thing anwyays.

I love him so much. Hes the best. Fucking hell. Hes the kindest person ever.

Also can Star please stop fucking with me. She said she'd stop using the emoticon and I said "thanks" and then she used a weird emoji to react to my thanks because she wanted to "acknowledge that she read my message without liking it".... oh so you dont like it??? What??? I said "okay" and she was like "yikes, you upset?" And I said idk cos I am but whatever and she USED ANOTHER SFUPID DUCKINF EMOTICON THAT I DONT UNDERSTAND WITH THE WORD OKAY OMFG. OMFG. PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT THAT MEANDS. OH MY GODDDD. I'm angry.

Fucking hell. I just wish... whatever.

If Jay liked me ROMANTICALLY as well...  perfect life.

Whatever.

My parents have fucked me up really badly. I know so. Today I saw a comic where a kid started crying while getting yelled at and their mom HUGGED THEM. Omfg. If I cry when my parents yell at me they just yell more. The best thing I can do is stay quiet. Fucking hell. Fuck. I wish I got hugged. When I was upset.

Its 1:03 am. Fuck all this emotional turmoil I'm SLEEPING. Fuck this. FUCK MY PARENTS, FUCK STAR, FUCK MOVING AND FUCK SCHOOL. And FUCK STAR.

[cocastyle]

The In-Between Chapter 8

Stranger Things x It Crossover

with some Bill Denbrough x reader

Word Count - 14,120

Warning - just a lot of emotions😭💗also, I put one of the It Chapter 2 scenes in here for Richie so here’s the warning for that!!

A/N- so this is THE LONGEST chapter I have written for this series but it’s 100% necessary for the series. this chapter is going to show a small but very important memory of Y/N with each of the characters, each one showcasing just a little bit of how much Y/N means to them which will help show you all how much her situation affects them. since there are so many characters and flashbacks that means this chapter is super long so I apologize in advance if you think it’s too long, but I just couldn’t split it up, you know? also, I changed a scene from It Chapter 2 and basically had it happen when Y/N was around to fit the storyline, so just pretend like it happened after they defeated It in the first movie, okay? anyways, I really hope you guys like this chapter! we still have plenty of more until the end! also, all flashbacks will be in italics!

if you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

T H E I N - B E T W E E N

Intro The Losers’ Club The Party Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Epilogue

Steve Harrington stared at the little girl in front of him, a small frown etched onto his face as he did so. It was only him and the little girl in the room, both of their parents out in the hallway conversing while Steve got left to watch the young girl and 'bond with her' as his parents had put it.

He didn't know what to think as he stared at the girl who was currently sleeping in the crib wrapped up in a small blanket. He didn't particularly like her at the moment even though she was only a baby, still unable to talk or annoy him like a regular person his age could.

No, she was five years younger than him and had only been born the week before. His parents were just really close parents with hers, so the moment his parents got the call about Y/N L/N being born, they were pulling him towards the car so that they could go visit.

Steve wouldn't admit it, but he was kind of jealous. He just didn't get how Y/N was so special and why his parents were gushing over her when they hardly paid attention to him half of the time.

"What makes you so special?" Steve softly asked as he leaned against the edge of the crib, his fist pushing against his cheek and causing his skin to scrunch up as he stared at her. He brushed his hair back with his hand and scrunched his nose up as Y/N started to move. The baby then let out a small yawn and Steve froze. Okay, so that was kind of cute.

Steve quickly shook his head, his mop of hair moving with him as he did so. He wouldn't allow himself to have those thoughts. He wouldn't let himself break when he was trying everything in his power not to like the girl that had stolen the attention of his parents away from him.

A small coo had him looking back down at the girl and his breath hitched slightly at the sight of big e/c eyes staring up at him. A huge grin appeared on her face as she looked up at him, her arm moving in a jerking motion as she squirmed. "I won't lie. You are kind of adorable," Steve muttered as he looked down at the girl. She let out a small coo and the corners of Steve's lips turned up ever so slightly.

He noticed that her blanket was staring to fall off and reached in to fix it, the small action causing Y/N to reach out and grab onto his thumb with her tiny hand. Steve instantly froze, his eyes flickering over to lock on the baby who was staring at him with wide eyes and a toothless grin. Steve's heart melted in that moment and he gently moved her arm up and down by moving his thumb that she was still latched onto. "I guess you're not that bad," Steve whispered.

As if understanding what he had said, Y/N let out a small laugh that made him smile as a giddy feeling filled the five year old's body. And it was in that moment, with the little girl staring up at him, that he realized the responsibility that he had now bestowed upon himself.

Steve lovingly rubbed the soft skin of Y/N's tiny hand before whispering, "I'm Steve. You don't have a brother right now, but. . .but I can be that for you if you want? I'll love you with all my heart and take care of you. And don't worry, I'll protect you, okay? I'll always protect you."

- - -

Lucas let out a small sigh as he looked around his first grade classroom, watching as the kids all went to sit by their friends, making sure to avoid his table entirely. He didn't know what he did that was so wrong, but no one ever seemed to want to talk to him or even sit at the same table as him.

Staring at his empty table, Lucas let out a sigh before reaching for the crayons and beginning to work on his drawing. He didn't even realize someone had walked up to his table before a small voice asked, "Can I sit here?"

Lucas almost fell out of his seat from the sudden noise and looked up with wide eyes to see a young girl standing there. She gave him a small smile and it was only then that he remembered she had asked him a question.

"Uh. . .sure. Yeah," Lucas smiled, happy that someone actually wanted to sit with him. He watched as she sat down, but his eyebrows furrowed in confusion once he saw her pull back the other chair as if someone were going to sit down.

The girl noticed his stare and slapped her forehead. "Silly me. I'm Y/N and this is my friend Frank," she said with a giggle. She then glanced at the empty seat before leaning closer to Lucas and whispering, "He's a bit shy." Lucas snickered and Y/N winked at him before pulling away and grabbing a green crayon. She began coloring and started to tell Lucas her whole life story it seemed like.

Lucas didn't mind. He actually enjoyed the girl's company, finding her quite funny and entertaining with the way she moved her hands around as she spoke. It was only when she was in the middle of telling Lucas a story about the time she broke her arm because Frank told her to try and stick a landing by jumping off a tree that her crayon broke and she fell silent.

"Shit."

The two froze at that and Lucas looked up at the girl who seemed a bit surprised that she had uttered that word. Her eyes locked with Lucas' and the two sat there for a moment before they burst into laughter, huge grins on their faces.

"I like you!" Lucas exclaimed as he pointed his crayon in her direction. He gave her a big grin before tilting his head and asking, "Want to be best friends?" Y/N returned the smile before saying, "Sure! I was getting kind of bored of Frank anyways. He likes to eat too much candy and I don't need that or the cavities in my life." She then picked up a red crayon before glancing over at the empty seat and shrugging her shoulders. “Sorry, Frank."

- - -

Dustin skipped out of school with a grin on his face as he headed towards his bike. It was the second week of second grade and Dustin loved it so far. He didn't have many friends except for a boy named Lucas, but he had slowly started becoming friends with two other boys named Mike and Will. He didn't care about not having many friends. He was just happy with life and that was all that mattered.

In that moment, Dustin was most excited about getting home to show his mother the small painting he had made for her today. It was two stick figures, one being him and one being his mother, with a small blob that he had determined was his cat Mews. He was no Picasso, but his mother wouldn't care. The fact that it was coming from him was all that mattered.

Dustin could see his bike by now and his grin widened just a little as he stopped skipping and went to run towards it. However, just when he went to step forward, the force of two hands shoving him in the back had him tumbling to the ground.

His hands scrapped against the ground as he tried to catch himself and he let out a small hiss of pain as he stilled on the ground. "Ouch," Dustin muttered, pulling himself up slightly so that he could turn and see who had just pushed him.

He let out a mental groan at the sight of Troy Walsh and his friend James Dante, the two school bullies in his grade. "Better watch where you're going, Toothless. You don't want to lose more teeth, do ya?" Troy cackled, James snickering from his side.

Dustin tried to get up, but James just shoved the boy down. Dustin let out a defeated sigh and looked up at the boys from under his hat. "I've told you before. I have cleidocranial dysplasia," he muttered, his shoulders slumping slightly as he was being bullied for a condition he couldn't control.

"Those are some big words. You sure you know what they mean?" James laughed. “You sure you do?" Dustin retorted earning glares from the boys before Troy sent a kick to his side. Dustin groaned and held onto his side while the two bullies glared at him.

"A little birdie told me you have a pretty gross trick you can do with your arm. We want you to show us, freak," Troy demanded. Dustin went to shake his head, but James kicked him hard enough to have him falling back again. "Show us!" James exclaimed.

Dustin looked up at the boys shyly before moving his arms in a weird way so that they popped. Troy and James both winced before Troy muttered, "That was disgusting. Do it again." "I don't want to," Dustin told them as he fixed the way his arms looked. Not that it hurt doing it, but the movement could feel uncomfortable at times.

"You really are a freak, aren't you?" Troy laughed before sending another kick at the boy's side. Dustin groaned and hugged his body close to himself as the boys continued to taunt and kick him. All he wanted was to go home, but the fact that he had no friends meant that he had no one who would stand up for him. So all he could do was wait until the boys were done having their fun.

"Hey, assholes!" a voice exclaimed making the kicking stop for a second as all three boys turned to see a girl in a yellow dress with her hair tied back with a yellow bow standing there with a glare on her face.

Dustin recognized her almost immediately. He had seen her hanging around Lucas quite often. The girl was Y/N L/N and her and Lucas had been best friends since the previous year. He had always wanted to try and talk to her, but she was never around Lucas when he was there and the idea of talking to a girl scared him from talking to her when she was around Lucas.

By now the kids that were outside waiting on their parents to pick them up had turned their attention over to the group and the girl who had just openly cussed in front of everyone. Some children were snickering while others were wide eyed, but no one made a move to stop them.

"I'm sorry. Were you talking to us?" Troy asked, turning his attention away from Dustin to look at Y/N in disbelief. "Well you're the only assholes here, so who else would I be talking to?" Y/N questioned. Troy and James both went to say something, but Y/N didn't even give them the time of day as she said, "Leave the boy alone."

"Who? Toothless over here?" James asked as he kicked Dustin for good measure. "No, I don't think we will," Troy told her. "Why? Because your life sucks so badly and you're so insecure that you have to make up for it by bullying others?" Y/N retorted, earning small snickers from the kids while Troy and James glared at her with red faces.

"Insecure? What makes you think we're insecure? If anything, you should be. I mean, with a rat face like yours who wouldn't be?" Troy laughed, James joining in, but Y/N only stared at them blankly, not fazed by them at all. The fact that she didn't react made the boys' laughter die down and a silence fell among the front schoolyard.

"Your words don't bother me, Walsh. Yours either, Dante. Want to know why? Cause why the hell would I listen to the two of you when you can't even take any of the quizzes in class without cheating off of others. And guess what? You still manage to fail! So why would the words of two dumbasses such as yourselves bother me?" Y/N asked, her eyebrows raised as she awaited an answer.

The laughter was getting louder by now and and Troy and James were both red faced. "I don't need to explain why you're insecure because I know you both know exactly what I'm talking about. Or do you want me to tell everyone right now just how much a pussy you two really are?" Y/N asked as she took a few steps closer to the boys.

To Dustin's surprise, they stepped back. "You bitch," James muttered. "No, you are the bitch," Y/N whispered in a dark tone. "So why don't you two stop being bitches and head home. Your mothers will be waiting for you."

Troy and James glared at the girl, but began to walk away. "You're going to pay for this, L/N!" Troy yelled after her. Y/N just rolled her eyes and flicked the boys off before turning away and looking to Dustin who was still on the ground. "You okay?" she asked as she walked over to the boy.

"Y-Yeah, I'm okay," Dustin said as he stared up at the girl in shock. Y/N smiled and held a hand out for the boy to take. He quickly grabbed on and she helped him into his feet before the two smiled at each other. “That was amazing," Dustin told her. "Thank you."

"Don't let them bother you. Troy and James are idiots," Y/N said. She stared at the boy for a moment before saying, "I think I've seen you with Lucas before. Lucas is like my best friend."

"Yeah, we've hung out a couple of times," Dustin told her before he held a hand out. "I'm Dustin by the way. Dustin Henderson." Y/N smiled and took his hand before shaking it. "Y/N," she said, "Y/N L/N." And that was the beginning of their friendship.

- - -

"Y/N can do it!" Wheeler exclaimed causing Y/N to blink out of her thoughts she had been having to see Wheeler, Dustin, and Lucas all staring at her. “What?" Y/N asked confused seeing as she hadn't listened to a word the boys were saying. She was too busy thinking about Will who had been missing for a couple of days now. She was really worried about him, so she had found herself drifting off into space more and more often because of how much she missed him.

"You're a girl," Dustin said causing Y/N to blink. "Wow. Nice going, Sherlock. How long did it take for you to figure that out?" Y/N asked sarcastically earning a snort from Lucas who high fived her while Dustin looked unamused.

"What we are getting at is that because you are a girl, you can help get El ready and like do her makeup and stuff," Wheeler explained. Y/N hesitated and let her eyes flicker over to the girl who had literally appeared out of no where.

Eleven was the girl the group had met in the woods the other night. She had been wearing ratty clothes, had all of her hair shaved off, and didn't seem to know many words since all of her responses were only a couple words long. Y/N still didn't entirely know the girl, but Eleven seemed nice enough and Y/N actually liked her. The fact that Eleven seemed to know how to help Will also made her more accepting of her as well.

"Okay, I'm going to pretend like you didn't just assume I know how to use makeup because I'm a girl. But I probably do know more than you three, so you guys figure out an outfit while I go do El's makeup," Y/N sighed. The boys nodded and Y/N was quick to turn and take Eleven's hand before gently pulling her towards Nancy Wheeler's bedroom where she knew she would be able to find makeup of some kind.

It took a few minutes, but the two girls were eventually sitting on Nancy's bed while Y/N did Eleven's makeup. Eleven was a shy girl and didn't like to say much, so Y/N just softly hummed as she worked, pretending not to notice the way Eleven looked at her and smiling softly when Eleven tried humming the song back.

"And done!" Y/N exclaimed once she had finished up, closing the lipstick as she leaned back to look at the girl. Y/N grinned before putting the makeup down and pulling Eleven off the bed, a small laugh escaping her lips as she brought the girl over to the mirror.

Eleven froze at the sight of herself before she hesitantly reached up and poked at her face. She was silent for a minute before whispering, "Pretty?" Y/N smiled and whispered, "You're pretty with or without the makeup, El."

Eleven smiled at that and Y/N returned it as she wrapped an arm around the girl's neck and hugged her, the two looking at their reflections. Eleven was silent again as her eyes flickered between her own reflection and Y/N's. Y/N could tell she wanted to ask something, so she didn't move as she waited for Eleven to speak.

"Friends?" Eleven finally asked, her eyes flickering to look at Y/N's through the mirror as if she were afraid to ask the question in fear of Y/N saying no. Y/N smiled and whispered, "Even better. We're best friends." Eleven smiled, obviously liking the sound of that. She found herself wrapping an arm around Y/N and hugging her just like Y/N was doing before whispering back in confirmation, "Best friends."

- - -

Playing D&D with only two people was quite hard and Y/N and Will didn't realize that until one afternoon when everyone else was busy. It didn't seem to bother either of them though since it only made the game that much more fun to figure out and Will really needed that at the moment.

It had been a couple of weeks since he had returned from the Upside Down and things hadn't been the same since before he had disappeared. Wheeler was depressed because of losing Eleven, so he had been kind of off the radar, wanting nothing more than to be alone. As for Lucas and Dustin, they talked to Will like they were walking on egg shells, so Will didn't hang out with them as much at the moment.

But Y/N was different. She knew how hard it was for Will to adjust after an experience like that, especially seeing as he couldn't even sleep without waking up screaming due to nightmares. Y/N knew Will would talk to her eventually, so she just decided to treat him like normal, joking and laughing around with him like the events that had taken place never happened. It helped both of them seeing as Y/N was also affected by the loss of Eleven.

Y/N treated Will like a normal human being and it was so comforting that he had been spending most of his days by her side, the two hanging out outside of school whenever the others couldn't and just enjoying being kids.

That's how they ended up where they were right now— in Will's living room playing D&D while Jonathan listened to music in his room. Lucas had had a doctor's appointment that day, Dustin had been grounded for accidentally setting his cat's tail on fire, and Wheeler had gone home, so Y/N had brought it upon herself to entertain Will by playing D&D.

Y/N was dressed up as a magician while Will was dressed up as a wizard and the two would break character every so often to chuckle at their outfits. Besides Will, Y/N was probably the second most enthusiastic about the game and she often took over the role of narrator when Wheeler didn't want to.

This was probably one of Will's favorite days with Y/N and he didn't know why. They were just playing a game, but maybe that's exactly why it was. There was no special treatment, no walking on egg shells. It was just the two of them, two best friends being the kids that they were.

Will watched Y/N silently, his mind racing as he tried to figure out how he had gained such a great friend like Y/N. As if sensing his stare, the girl glanced over at him, her hat tilting slightly as she did. She quickly fixed her hat and gave her friend an amused look as she raised her eyebrows. "What?" she asked, the corners of her lips turning up into a smile.

"I just. . ." Will hesitated and Y/N furrowed her eyebrows. Will smiled softly before whispering, "Thank you, Y/N." He didn't have to explain what he was thanking her for. It was for her treating him normally, for playing D&D with him, for just being his friend.

Y/N was silent for a minute as she just stared at her friend, her heart warming slightly as she realized just how much she had missed him while he was gone. She smiled, "No problem, Will the Wise. Now choose your action!"

Will let out a loud laugh and neither of the kids noticed Jonathan who was watching from the doorway, happy to see his brother finally acting like himself for once. Will glanced at his friend and gave her a sly look as he picked up the dice. "Fireball."

- - -

"Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?" Y/N muttered in frustration as she flipped through the pile of records she had in the box in front of her. Letting out a groan once she had hit the back of the box, Y/N turned her body to look at Wheeler who was standing on the other end of the store.

"Wheeler, tell me some good news please!" Y/N called out, but the frown on Wheeler's face was enough of a response. "Shit," the twelve year old muttered as she hurried over to one of the boxes she had checked when they first arrived at the record shop. It was the morning before the Party's monthly karaoke night at Y/N's house and Y/N needed to get the latest Bruce Springsteen record to be able to use. Her and Wheeler always sang a song together and they were determined to sing Born in the U.S.A. However, they couldn't do that until they found the record first.

"We've checked everywhere, L/N. I don't think they have it," Wheeler said as he came to a stop beside the girl. "But how? It's still such a new album!" Y/N complained. "Exactly. They probably sold out," Wheeler told her.

"May I help you two?" a small voice asked causing the two to turn and see a young woman who looked to be in her mid-twenties standing at the end of the aisle. "Oh, yes!" Y/N exclaimed as she hurried over to the woman. "We're looking for the new Bruce Springsteen record but can't seem to find it."

"Oh, you two are fans of Bruce? I think we sold our last record earlier this morning," the woman told them causing Wheeler and Y/N to frown. "But I think we might have a few stragglers in the back if you two want to come and check." The twelve year olds' eyes lit up and Y/N gripped onto Wheeler's arm as the two jumped up and down in excitement. "Yes, please!" they both exclaimed.

The woman chuckled before gesturing to follow her. She brought them to the back where there were a few boxes of records laying in storage. "You two are free to look through the boxes if you would like. I'll be out front once you two are done," the woman told them before she began to walk away. "Thank you!" the two kids yelled after her before they looked to the boxes. They glanced at each other before practically breaking into a run.

The two were looking through the boxes within seconds and it took a few minutes before Wheeler cried out triumphantly, "I found it!" Y/N's eyes lit up and she turned to see Wheeler holding the record up in the air. She squealed before running over to the boy and hugging him in excitement. "We hit the jackpot! Hurry! Let's go buy this so we can try it out!" Y/N said.

Wheeler nodded and the two went up to the front to pay for the record. It took about twenty minutes for them to buy the record and bike all the way to Y/N's house, but it was totally worth it once they heard the familiar beat of Born in the U.S.A filling the air.

"Born down in a dead man's town. The first kick I took was when I hit the ground," Y/N sang as she pointed to Wheeler, one hand up as if she were holding a microphone. Wheeler mimicked her actions and squeezed his eyes shut as he sang along to the music with as much passion as he could, "End up like a dog that's been beat too much. 'Til you spend half your life just covering up."

The two kids grinned before singing out, "Born in the U.S.A. I was born in the U.S.A!" The two kids danced crazily around the room with their eyes shut, neither of them realizing how close they had gotten before they tripped over each other's feet and went tumbling to the ground. Y/N and Wheeler opened their eyes and the moment their eyes locked, they burst into a round of childish laughter.

This is what it was like whenever the two were together. Their friendship could be a bit odd at times, but it was about as strong as her friendship with Lucas. They were best friends and partners in crime. But even more importantly, they were karaoke partners and that night when they sang along to their favorite song would just be another win on their long list of karaoke accomplishments.

So with their laughter filling the air and five more hours until the others were supposed to come over for karaoke night, the two kids got up and spun around the room, singing their favorite song and enjoying the moment they had together.

"I was born in the U.S.A. Born in the U.S.A."

- - -

"You sure this is going to work?" Max whispered as she stared at the place in front of her. Y/N glanced over at her friend and chuckled before nudging her. "Of course it will," she told her. "Besides, you're with me. They love me."

Max rolled her eyes at her friend's ego and Y/N chuckled before linking her arm with her friend, the two walking into Scoops Ahoy side by side. "Harrington!" Y/N cried out before said boy came running out of the back room.

His eyes searched frantically before he saw Y/N standing there with Max by her side at the counter. "You little shit," he breathed out. "You can't just come running in here yelling for me like that. I thought something was wrong."

"But something is wrong," Y/N told him, the boy raising an eyebrow in amusement as a response. "I'm hungry." Steve rolled his eyes, but let out a small chuckle. "You've got a problematic life I see," he joked making Max chuckle while Y/N reached across the counter to lightly punch the boy's arm. "What would you two like?"

"Can we try one of everything and then decide what we want?" Y/N asked as she put an innocent smile on her face. Steve looked at her unamused. "I know what you're trying to do-" he began, but Y/N leaned on the counter and gave him her best pleading face as she batted her eyelashes. "Please, Stevie. Please," she said.

Steve was silent for a minute before a voice behind him said, "You're screwed." The group turned to see Robin standing with a whiteboard that had Y/N's name written on one side and Steve's on the other. "I know you, Harrington, and Y/N just pulled the puppy dog eyes on you. She's going to win this round once again," Robin said as she went ahead and drew another tally mark under Y/N's name, adding it to the collection of tally marks already there.

"No one asked you. Put that thing away!" Steve exclaimed in annoyance. Robin chuckled and held her hands up in surrender before pushing the board aside. Steve rolled his eyes before turning back to Y/N and Max who were both now giving him their best puppy eyes. He let out a sigh. "Fine. I'll get you two your samples. Now go ahead and sit down," he told them.

Y/N grinned before leaning across the counter to kiss Steve's cheek. "Thanks, Steve. Love you!" she exclaimed as she turned and dragged Max away to go find a seat. "Love you too, squirt," Steve chuckled before going to get the samples for the girls.

"Holy shit. I can't believe that worked," Max muttered as the two slid into a booth. "It's Steve. He's a sucker when it comes to me," Y/N laughed. "I love him so much."

"I wish Billy was like that. Steve isn't even your real brother," Max pouted. "He might as well be," Y/N muttered. "I'm sorry about, Billy. I think he's just going through some things right now. But in the end, he's always going to love you." Max smiled softly at that and gave Y/N a thankful nod.

"I wish Eleven was here," Y/N said, trying to change the subject. "The three of us hanging out together? Think of all the mischief we could get into!" Max chuckled, "Yeah, but's she's too busy sucking faces with Mike." The two grimaced at the thought before letting out loud laughs.

"You know, I'm glad you moved here," Y/N suddenly said, the comment making Max freeze before she looked to her friend with a smile. "I don't know. I mean, I love the boys and everything, but it's nice having some friends that are girls as well." Max smiled softly, thankful that Y/N had said that especially since she had been doubting herself in the friend group recently. "Thanks, Y/N. It's a pleasure to be able to save you from the boys," Max jokingly said.

The two girls chuckled and were in the middle of laughing when Steve set their samples down before them. Their eyes instantly lit up and Steve pointed a finger at them. "Just this time, okay?" he said. "Yes, sir!" the two girls said before they mock saluted him, thus causing another round of laughter. Steve rolled his eyes with a smile on his face before he ruffled Y/N's hair and went back to working.

Max and Y/N both glanced at each other before looking to the samples before them. There were so many that they knew they wouldn't be hungry when they were done. Y/N smirked before looking up at the red head.

"First once to get a brain freeze loses."

"Oh you're so on."

- - -

"Dammit," Mike Hanlon muttered as he stared at the bags that had fallen from his bike and onto the sidewalk. Luckily nothing had spilled, but he was going to be late to meet up with his friends if he didn't get all of his shit together.

With a frown on his face, Mike set his bike up against a building before bending down to pick up the packages he had to deliver later. His grandfather had been in a good mood and allowed him to meet up with his friends before delivering the packages, so Mike could not mess this up.

Today was the day he was supposed to be meeting the girl who had become close to the Losers. From what the others had told him, she had just moved from Indiana and seemed to be pretty amazing. He hadn't had the chance to meet her yet because he was homeschooled and work had kept him busy, but he was finally getting to meet the girl today and Mike was honestly quite nervous. He wondered what she would be like especially since each of the Losers has described her in different ways.

Stan had called her a great listener while Eddie called her a kind and understanding person. Beverly had described her as the coolest chick one would ever meet and Ben had talked about how she had great taste in music. Then there was Richie who, in true Richie fashion, had called her a babe much to Bill's annoyance. And finally Bill, who was obviously crushing on the girl, had just gushed about how great of a person she was before realizing he was getting carried away and becoming embarrassed. Mike knew he was going to like the girl just from the way his friends described her, but whether she liked him or not was the nerve racking part.

Lost in his thoughts, Mike didn't even seem to realize someone was helping him pick up the packages until his head smacked into theirs. Both of them let out a groan before Mike looked up to see a girl staring at him. She gave him a small sheepish smile before saying, "Sorry, are you okay?" "No need to apologize. It was my fault," Mike quickly rushed out as he stood up, the girl following suit. The two stood there awkwardly for a moment and Mike blinked before turning and trying to put the packages back into the basket on his bike.

Noticing the struggle, the young girl who looked to be around his age chuckled and said, "Here. Let me help." Before Mike could say anything, she had reached out and taken the packages from Mike. In a matter of seconds she had the packages in the basket and was tying them in place with some string that he had tried to use, but failed to use properly.

Once she was done, the packages were so secure Mike knew they wouldn't fall. He looked to the girl surprised and she smiled before saying, "I was the newspaper girl back in my old town, so I kind of learned how to tie the huge pile of newspapers onto my bike pretty well." "Well, thanks," Mike told her, smiling softly as he did. "It's no problem really," she said. "I'm sorry, but I've got to go. I'm supposed to be meeting someone in a couple of minutes."

"Funnily enough, me too. Hopefully I see you around?" Mike suggested. The girl smiled and gave him a short nod before hopping onto her bike and pedaling away. It wasn't until she was gone that Mike realized he never got her name. Mike shrugged it off and checked his watch before muttering, "Shit." He was going to be late at this rate.

Mike quickly hoped into his home before pedaling across town and towards the quarry. Thankfully he made it with a minute to spare. However, the Losers were already there so he knew Richie was going to give him crap for not being there early.

The boy put his bike stand up before getting off his bike and running over to the cliff where the Losers were all standing there talking to someone that he couldn't quite see. It was when the others noticed him and stepped out of the way that Mike's eyes widened in disbelief.

He watched as the girl who had helped him earlier walked out, a small chuckle escaping her lips as she tilted her head at him. "Hello again. I'm guessing you're Mike, right?" she asked, the boy nodding in response. "Nice to meet you, Mike. I'm Y/N."

- - -

Richie and Y/N hadn't always been as close as they were. In fact, Richie had been a little skeptical about the girl at first, although it didn't quite show since he never allowed his true feelings to be on display for everyone to see.

So when he had invited the Losers to come to the arcade with him and Y/N had been the only one free, Richie had honestly debated on just not showing up. However, Richie wasn't that type of person and knew he would feel guilty about it for the next six months if he didn't show, so Richie made a point to go to the arcade and had even gotten there early to make sure he wasn't late when Y/N showed up.

While he waited, Richie found himself playing Streetfighter with a boy who he didn't know the name of. He didn't know how long they were playing, but both boys were laughing and kept sneaking glances at each other as they played. Richie had only felt this way around one other person, but he was still coming to terms with it, so he pushed it aside.

It was only when the game was over and the boy went to walk away that Richie realized he didn't want to boy to leave and began to panic. "Um. . ." Richie quickly grabbed a quarter and held it up for the boy to see. "How about we play again? Play some more, you know?"

The boy was silent for a minute before he glanced over his shoulder at the sound of some kid whimpering. He caught sight of Henry Bowers before turning back to Richie who, not wanting to make the boy uncomfortable, quickly added, "Only if you want to."

"Dude, why are you being weird?" the boy said making Richie furrow his eyebrows confused. "I'm not your fucking boyfriend." Richie's eyes widened. "Woah, I-I didn't-" Richie began to say, but he was cut off by Bowers appearing behind the boy with the rest of his gang.

At that moment, Y/N came rushing into the arcade looking a little frazzled. She checked her watch and muttered, "Shit." She was a couple of minutes late and she really hoped Richie was still here. She bolted into the arcade, but paused once she saw that everyone was standing still as they watched Bowers yell at Richie.

"You trying to bone my little cousin?" Bowers asked, Richie's face growing red as he stood there frozen in place not knowing what to think or what was happening. "Get the fuck out of here, faggot! Fucking move!"

Before Y/N could so much as react, Richie was running out of the arcade, the tears obviously blurring his vision as he stumbled outside. Y/N stared after her friend before hearing laughter in the air. She turned and her eyes instantly locked on Bowers who was laughing like he had just done the funniest thing in the world. She didn't know what she was doing, but she was blinded by rage and before she knew it Bowers was on the floor and she was on top of him, her fists punching him repeatedly as she screamed at him and cussed him out for what he had done to Richie.

As she did a double fist dance on Bowers' face, Richie sat outside on a bench in the park across the street from the arcade, his face in his hands as he cried. He didn't even care if anyone saw him at the moment, the idea of holding back his emotions only making him cry harder.

"Fucking Bowers!" Richie yelled out as he brought his hands up to his hair and pulled. "Fuck!" He was sobbing at this point, everything hurting so much that he didn't notice anything that was happening around him. He didn't even notice Y/N standing before him before she whispered, "Richie?"

Richie hesitated at that before he quickly wiped his tears away and looked up at the girl, her eyes already looking at him with so much concern that it made his heart ache. No one had ever looked that worried over him. He didn't know what it felt like to have someone care about him that much to be worried for him the way she was. Although hiding his emotions made it hard for anyone to ever worry about him. Anyone except for Eddie.

"Richie, are you okay?" Y/N whispered, her eyes pleading with him to tell her what was going on. She had called him Richie, not Tozier, Richie realized. For some reason, that alone was enough to make him break down a little more and he looked back down. "Of course I'm okay," Richie tried to reply in his usual upbeat tone, but him having to wipe away his own tears took away the effect.

Y/N was silent for a moment before she sat down next to the boy. Richie stared at the ground, not wanting to look her in the eyes. Y/N remained silent a little longer before she placed a hand on his shoulder and whispered again, "Richie, are you okay?" Richie broke at that, the sobs returning while Y/N quickly wrapped her arms around him causing the boy to turn and hug her back just as tight. She let him stay like that as long as he needed before the boy eventually pulled away, his eyes landing on her hands which were caked with blood.

"Well shit, what happened to you?" Richie asked with a small laugh as he wiped away his tears. “I beat the shit out of Bowers, that's what happened," Y/N explained, finally allowing Richie to connect the dots and realize that she had seen everything that had happened in the arcade.

For some reason, he found himself chuckling at that and turning his head so that he could look at her. He stared at her for a moment before suddenly blurting out, "I'm gay." Y/N glanced at the boy and Richie blushed before looking away and whispering, "Fuck. That wasn't how I wanted to say that. Fuck, Richie, you fucking loser. Holy shit, I can't believe I just- Fuck!"

Richie let out a sigh before looking at his hands. "I know you saw what happened in the arcade with Bowers, but I didn't even do anything. I didn't even know that was his cousin for starters. We were just playing Streetfighter and I asked if he wanted to play again and he started making fun of me before Bowers appeared and then you know the rest," Richie went on.

Richie was red faced by now. He had never opened up to someone like this before especially not to Eddie who he knew would never know about any of this. So telling Y/N was a big deal for him and he suddenly felt weird about having told her, the fear of rejection looming over him as he sat there. He was embarrassed.

Y/N was silent for longer than Richie would've liked, but she eventually reached out and took his hand before giving it a small squeeze and whispering, "Rich?" The boy was hesitant but let his eyes flicker over to her, the small smile she gave him making him relax a little bit. "It's okay if you're gay or straight or bi. Who you like isn't what defines you. You're still the same person. And I'm going to love you no matter what because you're still Richie 'Trashmouth' Tozier," Y/N assured him.

Richie was silent for a moment as he stared at the girl in disbelief. His eyes began to well with tears and it took him a moment longer to reach out and hug the girl, the weight from finally telling someone and being accepted for who he really was being lifted off his shoulders. Y/N hugged the boy back and, once again, allowed him to hug her for as long as he needed. It was only when he pulled away that she stood up and held a hand out to him.

"Come on. I brought a bag full of quarters and I intend on using them," she told him, a small smile on her face as she stared at the boy. "What about Bowers?" Richie asked, trying not to seem like he was afraid of coming face to face with the boy once again.

"We can handle him," Y/N assured him. "Besides, he's got a shit punch anyways." Richie let out a small snort at that before reaching out and taking the girl's hand. She smiled and pulled him up onto his feet before they began to walk away from the bench.

And with that, the two went back to the arcade hand in hand, both of them happy that they now had a new best friend by their side.

- - -

Birds were Stan's favorite animals. They always had been since he was five years old and he was gifted a book on birds for his birthday. Since that day he had used that very book every Saturday, the day he would sit outside or camp out in the woods to just look at the birds and see which ones he could find.

Stan tended to go bird-watching by himself, the other Losers not particularly liking the activity. Each of them had come with him once before, but it didn't take much for Stan to notice how bored they were before he would sigh and let them leave. They always felt somewhat guilty for it—minus Richie who made some crude joke before leaving— but Stan always assured them it was okay and they would go, leaving Stan behind to bird-watch by himself once again.

But things changed one Saturday morning when Y/N decided she wanted to see what Stan spent his time doing when the others weren't around. Stan was afraid to show her seeing as she was one of his newest friends and he didn't want to scare her away.

He quite liked Y/N actually and the two had become almost as close as he was with all the other Losers. Y/N tried to divide her time up equally with everyone, but it wasn't much of a surprise that she spent just a little more time with Bill than the others. So when Y/N had asked Stan to let her tag along, the boy had been both surprised and nervous. For some reason, he really didn't want Y/N to be bored and make fun of him like the others.

To his surprise, Y/N did the exact opposite. They had been bird-watching for an hour now and Y/N hadn't lost the small sparkle in her eyes or the smile on her face as she desperately searched for the birds among the trees. Every so often she would nudge the boy and ask him what bird the one she was pointing at was and he would whisper facts to her while they stared at the bird ahead. It was the first time someone was genuinely interested and the fact warmed Stan's heart.

"Stanley," Y/N whispered before she nudged him gently, instantly knocking him out of his thoughts. "Stanley. Stanley. Stanley. Stan. Stan the Man." Stan chuckled softly before whispering back, "Yes?" Y/N glanced at the boy before pointing towards a small bird that was blue with a light yellow belly and a black stripe across its head that led away from the beak. "What's that one?" she asked softly in an attempt to not scare the bird away.

Stan turned his attention to the bird and narrowed his eyes slightly before whispering, "That bird is called a nuthatch. You know they can walk up and down a tree? They are really smart too. Some of them even use a piece of bark to help pry open other pieces of bark so that they can look for insects." "Woah," Y/N breathed out. "That's so cool."

Stan chuckled and whispered out a few more facts about the bird while they watched it walk up the tree. Eventually the bird flew away and Y/N made that same face where her lips opened up as a huge grin broke out on her face, her sparkling eyes following the bird until it had disappeared before she leaned back with a small content sigh escaping her lips.

Y/N had never realized how calming and intriguing bird-watching could be. Her life was always moving fast, so getting the chance to sit down and enjoy the world instead of running from its horrors was something she couldn't thank Stan enough for.

"Stanley?" Y/N whispered, the name falling from her lips with ease. Stan had told her plenty of times that she could call him Stan, but she still called him by his first name most of the time. He wouldn't admit it, but he secretly liked the fact that she did. "Yeah?" Stan asked, his eyes flickering over to look at her before he looked back out at the different birds that were flying around.

"Thanks for bringing me along."

Stan kind of froze at that before turning his head so that he could get a good look at her. Y/N was staring at the birds with a warm smile on her face, the sunrise hitting her face so that it glowed. Not that he would ever think of her in that way, but for a second he could see why Bill liked her so much.

"Thanks for coming with me," Stan told her, the girl sending a small smile in his direction before reaching out and squeezing his hand gently. And with that, the two turned their attention back to the birds.

Their friendship became ten times stronger that day and from then on they spent every Saturday morning in Stan's backyard watching the birds and taking a break from life.

- - -

The soft rustling of pages as he and Y/N flipped the pages of their books was all Ben could hear that Friday evening. They were in the library doing research on Hawkins since Ben found all of the events Y/N had described to be almost as interesting as Derry.

It had all started when she first told them about her life in Hawkins during the first day of school. She hadn't opened up about some of the more serious stuff until the group had become close and Ben hadn't been able to stop himself from raising his eyebrows and muttering, "Hawkins, Indiana? Well I guess I know the next place I'm going to research."

That's how the two had ended up in the library a week later, no one in the group except for the two of them wanting to go research the place. They had spent probably the last two hours in the place just flipping through different books, but nothing had popped out.

Y/N was currently reading a Russian book which Ben had questioned about, but she hadn't given him an explanation, only smiling and opening the book before beginning to read. Ben on the other hand was reading a book about Hawkins itself and hadn't found anything out of the ordinary which made the town that much more of a mystery.

Ben was just about to flip the page again when a soft humming suddenly filled his ears, the tune making him freeze as he recognized it almost instantly. His eyes flickered up to Y/N who had started to move her lips as she quietly whispered to a Kids on the Block song, one that Ben was very familiar with.

"First time was a great time. Second time was a blast. Third time I fell in love. Now I hope it lasts," Y/N whispered, not one hundred percent realizing what she was doing. Ben was quick to whisper the next lines which made the girl look up at him in shock, "I can see it in your walk. Tell 'em when you talk. See it in everything you do. Even in your thoughts.” The two grinned before whispering together, "You got the right stuff, baby. Love the way you turn me on. You got the right stuff, baby. You're the reason why I sing this song."

They didn't realize their voices were raising, each of them getting more excited about the fact that someone they knew was a huge Kids on the Block fan like them. For Y/N, the only other person she could sing with had been Wheeler, but for Ben, he had never had anyone.

"All that I needed was you. Oh girl, you're so right. And all that I wanted was you," they sang. "You made all-" Y/N said before she pointed to the boy with a grin. "My dreams come true," Ben finished. "The right stuff." "The right stuff," Y/N nodded with a small laugh. The two went to sing the next part of the song when they were suddenly hushed by the librarian. Y/N and Ben froze before turning to see that everyone in the library was looking at them and that the librarian was even glaring at them.

The two went red faced and gave the group apologetic smiles before looking back down at their books. They waited a second before glancing up at each other and chuckling softly. "The right stuff," Ben whispered making Y/N grin so big that Ben couldn't help but smile back. She nodded before reaching out and fist bumping the boy. “The right stuff."

- - -

"What are we doing here?" Beverly asked confused as she glanced over at Y/N who was smiling and practically bouncing up and down on her feet. Beverly looked at the clothing store in front of her before looking to Y/N again and raising an eyebrow.

"Back in Hawkins, two of my closest friends were Eleven and Max. We would have these girl days where we would hang out at the mall and try on clothes and just have fun. I know you haven't been in the best mood this week," Y/N began. Beverly went to deny it, but Y/N just smiled and said, "And don't deny it because Ben already told me. Anyways, I wanted to cheer you up by having a girls day and since Derry doesn't have a mall, this is the next best option."

Beverly was silent for a minute as she tried to process what Y/N was saying. Finally she let you a small sigh and gave the girl a weak smile. "Okay, but only for an hour or two," Beverly said making Y/N squeal in excitement before grabbing her arm and pulling the red head into the store. “Trust me, Bev. By the time an hour is up you're never going to want to leave," Y/N said.

"Okay," Beverly said, obviously not believing her. However, Beverly realized just how wrong she was once the two were reaching the end of their second hour of shopping. They weren't even buying anything, only trying on clothes and looking at themselves in the mirror. But somehow Y/N had made it fun.

Y/N had them both try on ridiculous outfits and they would spend forever looking the mirror at themselves as they laughed to the point where workers had to come up and ask if they were okay. Y/N had even brought a Polaroid so that they could take pictures to remember all the fun they were having and she made Beverly pretend as if she were walking down a runway while Y/N took pictures of her, the two girls bursting into giggling fits every couple of minutes.

By the time the two hours was up, Beverly never wanted to leave and the fact only made her mood dampen. Y/N noticed the sudden change in demeanor and frowned as she watched Beverly reluctantly putting the clothes away.

"Hey," Y/N whispered as she came to Beverly's side and placed a hand on the red head's shoulder. "Are you okay? What's wrong?" Beverly was silent for a minute before giving the girl a small smile. "Nothing," she assured her despite them both knowing she was lying.

"No, Bev. Come on. You don't need to lie. You can tell me anything. I promise I won't judge," Y/N said. "Was it all the pictures? I'm sorry. I should've asked before I-" “No, it wasn't the pictures," Beverly assured her. "I'm glad we have the memories."

Y/N smiled and Beverly returned it before looking down at her hands sadly. "I'm just a little sad it had to end is all," Beverly explained. "I never really had friends up until I met the boys, so I've never had a girl friend to hang out with. I guess I just didn't realize what I was missing and I'm afraid for it to end. I'm sorry. It probably sounds stupid."

"No, Beverly. It's not stupid," Y/N said. "I know how you feel. Until I met Eleven and Max, my four best friends were all guys. I hadn't even realized what having another girl around would be like and I was so afraid of losing Eleven and Max because I enjoyed getting away from the boys and spending time with them. I promise you this won't be the last girl day, okay? I can only handle Richie's trashmouth for so long."

Beverly chuckled softly before looking at her friend and smiling at her. "Thanks, Y/N," she whispered. Y/N smiled back and pulled Beverly in for a hug, the gesture making Beverly freeze for a moment before she fell into Y/N's embrace and hugged her back.

"Thanks for hanging out with me today," Y/N told her. "But the fun doesn't have to end here." Beverly pulled away to look at the girl and Y/N smirked. "Ice cream?" Beverly chuckled and shook her head at her friend before saying, "I thought you'd never ask."

- - -

All Eddie could hear was his own erratic breathing as he desperately tried to reach for his inhaler which was in his fanny pack. The only problem was that his fanny pack had been torn off of him by Henry Bowers and was lying on the concrete a few feet away and Bowers wouldn't let him near it long enough for him to grab his inhaler. His chest was on fire, his throat closing off more and more every second as it felt like someone was literally sitting on his lungs. He was growing more and more panicked, so his breathing continued to get worse and worse as tears filled his eyes.

This seemed to make Henry laugh harder and that made him start shoving and kicking Eddie harder than before. Eddie mentally cursed himself for having been walking alone. He had stayed after school to have a talk with his teacher and told the others to go ahead on to the quarry where he said he would meet them. Richie had been a little reluctant to go, but had left with the other Losers, leaving Eddie by himself. Eddie thought he would've been safe from Bowers, but it seemed as if Bowers had been waiting for him because the moment he stepped out of school, Bowers was there waiting.

Another kick to the side made Eddie's wheeze grow louder. He was biting his lip as he attempted not to cry, but his asthma was bothering him to the point where he could barely function and he knew if he didn't get to his inhaler soon he would end up having a full blown asthma attack.

As if sensing his prayers, the kicking and punching stopped, allowing Eddie to crawl over to his fanny pack and grab his inhaler. He quickly took a hit before holding his breath, allowing the medicine to fill his lungs and bring him some relief. He repeated the step once more, the medicine instantly making him feel better and allowing the beating of own heart in his ears to disappear.

Eddie put the inhaler in his fanny pack before putting it back around his waist and turning to see what had happened to Bowers. To his surprise, Y/N was standing there with a bloody fist while Bowers laid on the ground holding his face. He didn't even have time to think about why Y/N was still at school before Bowers was yelling out in anger.

"You bitch! I'm going to beat the shit out of you!" Bowers yelled as he pushed himself up and went to lunge for her, but Y/N was so mad that she merely swung back before sending her fist right into Bowers nose. A loud cracking nose filled the air and Eddie winced as he looked at Bowers who had fallen onto the ground with his nose turned at a weird angle. Eddie then quickly looked to Y/N and he paled at the sight of wrist bent in the wrong direction.

"Shit," he heard her whisper before she turned and looked to the boy. Her eyes widened at the sight of Eddie and she quickly ran over to him. "Eddie, are you okay?" "I'm. . .I'm fine. Your wrist though," Eddie muttered, his face paling more as he saw the injury up close. A groan had them both looking to see Bowers starting to get up off the ground.

Y/N was quick to think and grabbed Eddie's hand with her good one before pulling him up off his feet and dragging him away from the school as the two bolted away. They didn't stop running until they knew Bowers was far behind them and even then, Eddie had to be the one to stop the girl, his eyes still trained on her wrist.

They were both breathing heavily as Eddie gently reached out and went to move Y/N's wrist. She instantly winced and Eddie began to breath frantically as he started to panic. “It's broken. Shit, it has to be broken. We have to get help. We have to get you to the hospital. Do you know where the closest hospital is? Actually I think it's a few streets down. We should probably go before your wrist gets any worse. Shit, this is my fault! Why would you do that, Y/N?" Eddie rambled.

"Eds," she said causing the boy to quiet down and look at her. She was the only one that was ever allowed to call him that, so Eddie wasn't even fazed by the nickname. "First of all, I'm going to be fine, so calm down. Second of all, it was one hundred percent worth it. Bowers was being an asshole and I wasn't about to let him continue to treat you like that. Are you okay?" Before Eddie could think properly, the girl had reached up and brushed the hair out of his eyes, a gesture that made him blush because he had seen mothers do that to their own kids but he had never been on the receiving end of that kind of touch.

"I'm. . .I'm fine. My inhaler helped," Eddie explained. "But we shouldn't be worrying about me. You're the one with a broken hand." Y/N just shrugged before letting out a small chuckle and saying in excitement, "But, Eds, did you see his nose? That thing's got to be broken as well!" Eddie looked at the girl in disbelief, silently wondering how she was able to remain so calm when her hand was literally broken. Then again, Y/N L/N always had been one to surprise him.

Smiling lovingly at the girl who was not only his best friend but like a sister as well, the boy gently took her good hand before tugging her forward. "Come on, my knight in shining armor. Let's get you to the hospital and get that wrist checked out," Eddie said, feeling a little more calm now thanks to Y/N who he knew had purposefully been cracking jokes and acting like everything was okay just to keep him calm. Y/N didn't fight him that time and the two made their way to the hospital. Y/N walked out that day with Eddie by her side and a bright white cast on that day with one signature already on it. Eds.

- - -

"A shower cap?"

Stan blinked in surprise before nodding his head. "Yeah, it's supposed to help keep the spiders out of your hair," he explained as he held the shower cap out for his friend. He had made a special trip out to the pharmacy to get her one, so he really hoped she would just take it, even if she didn't use it. Y/N smiled at the boy before taking the shower cap from him, the boy instantly relaxing in response. "Thanks, Stanley," she said before she put the shower cap on and looked to the others. They were all busy either talking or doing something else, so no one was looking at her except for Stan and Bill, the later smiling at her in an almost dreamy sort of way as he too wore his shower cap.

Bill chuckled softly at the sight of her and Y/N glanced at him before making a small face causing the two to burst into a round of laughter that had the other Losers looking at them and shaking their heads at how oblivious the two teens were. The Losers all looked away, leaving Bill, Y/N, and Stan the only ones paying attention once again.

"How did I look?" she questioned, directing it more towards Bill which Stan quickly realized. Stan smirked before walking way, neither of the teens noticing because of the fact that they were too caught up with each other. "B-B-Beautiful as always," Bill whispered, a blush dusting his cheeks at his own words. Y/N instantly blushed before smiling thankfully at Bill and leaning back in the hammock she had been lying in. She had to fight Richie and Eddie for it, but Eddie gave in almost instantly because he loved making the girl happy so it had been mostly her fighting Richie over the hammock before he had eventually caved and let her have it.

Now that she had the shower cap on, Y/N was busying herself with reading a Spider-Man comic while the others all goofed off, Bill secretly sneaking glances at her every so often. It had been one of the days they spent at the quarry which meant the evening was spent in their clubhouse that Ben had built under ground, thus leading to the spider problem. However, it was already getting quite late, so the Losers were slowly beginning to leave one by one. Y/N was too lost in her comic to really notice, but that didn't stop her from calling out a goodbye every so often. As for Bill, his eyes hadn't left the girl since she put the shower cap on, the sight being just too adorable for him to look away.

Stan and Ben were the last ones to leave the clubhouse that night and they rolled their eyes at the sight of Bill staring at their best friend, his feelings so obvious that they wondered if Y/N was really as smart as she claimed to be. "Night guys," Stan called out before he began to climb up the ladder, Ben quickly following. "Bye, Ben! Bye, Stan!" Y/N called out, momentarily looking up to smile at the boys before she was back to reading her comic.

"B-B-bye, guys," Bill said as he waved at the two. They just smirked at him and waved back before disappearing into the night, not noticing the look of confusion on Bill's face as they did so. Bill didn't think too much about the smirks his friends had sent him before he let his eyes flicker back over to Y/N who was looking up from the comic and at the empty clubhouse. "Woah. When did everyone leave?" she muttered in confusion.

"A w-w-while ago," Bill chuckled as he titled his head at the girl. "M-M-Maybe if you weren't t-t-too busy reading you would've n-n-noticed." Y/N gasped in fake shock before saying, "Let me tell you, Bill Denbrough. Peter Parker is nothing to joke about." Bill chuckled and she couldn't stop herself from smiling at the sight of the beautiful boy before she waved him over.

Bill was quick to walk over to her and she smiled before holding the comic out. "Peter Parker is above his time, Bill. He's smart, sarcastic, funny, and a freaking superhero! He genuinely cares about people and he is always-" Y/N began to ramble on about the superhero, but her words fell on deaf ears as Bill just stared at her in amazement.

His eyes flickered over her face and the way her eyelashes fluttered against her cheek or the way her e/c eyes would flicker between him and the comic as she excitedly talked about the superhero she loved so much. It was like he was trying to memorize every inch of her face which maybe he was. He never wanted to forget this moment, even if nothing significant was happening. Y/N just looked so beautiful, shower cap and all, and Bill couldn't stop himself from not wanting to remember every little detail of this moment. The smell of wood in the air mixing with the strawberry scent of Y/N's shampoo that swirled through the air because of how close they were. The creaking of wood and the sound of the night filling the air around them. Then there was him and Y/N, Bill kneeling down beside the hammock with one hand against his cheek while the other was holding onto Y/N's hand, something neither had noticed yet.

A small smile appeared on Bill's face as he watched the girl and she paused for a moment before staring at him with an unreadable expression. Finally, she returned the smile before grabbing onto his arm and tugging him slightly as she whispered, "Come here." Bill's face reddened a little, but he still managed to pull himself into the hammock, Y/N instantly snuggling up against him as his arm wrapped around her waist.

Y/N seemed to be unfazed by the new step of their relationship, the two having never cuddled before, let alone been this close unless it was just to hug. Instead, she was already reading the comic out loud, adding her own little comments here and there to make Bill laugh, knowing that each laugh made him rest his face against the side of hers momentarily before he pulled away to look at the comic.

Or at least she thought he was looking at the comic. But in reality, his eyes were on her. Just like they always were and like they always would be. For to him, there was no better way to spend his evening than admiring the girl that had stolen his heart since the first day he met her almost two years ago.

- - -

The basement was unusually quiet that night as the Party and the Losers all sat in Y/N's basement trying to comprehend the events that had taken place only an hour before. None of them were able to come to terms with what had happened and no one even knew what to say. The silence was one they could all feel, each of them distantly hearing Y/N's laugh or one of her sarcastic and witty comments. It was haunting almost and the group could feel themselves breaking more and more with each second that passed.

Everyone was affected by what had happened to Y/N, but they all knew Bill was affected in a deeper way than they were. While their love for Y/N was merely a platonic, more family type of love, what Bill felt for the girl was the opposite. He cared about her so much that the group could practically feel their hearts aching for him, especially when they saw him sitting blankly in the corner with a tear stained face, red eyes, and his jacket clutched in his shaking hands.

"What are we going to do?" Eddie finally whispered as he wiped at the tears on his face. All he could think about was his friend, the girl who had stood up for him and who had promised to not let anything happen to him. Eddie could only think about how he should've promised that to her as well. He should've insisted on going with her, making sure that the girl was safe and by his side. Then maybe what happened wouldn't have happened.

"We're getting her back," Steve said, all eyes falling on him as he tried to act like he was fine despite the tears that kept falling from his eyes. The tears were collecting on his chin, threatening to fall down, and Steve was quick to wipe them away with a sniff. "That's what we're fucking going to do."

"Oh, really? And how do you plan on doing that, Einstein?" Richie asked bitterly, his emotions being out of whack making him lash out. Steve narrowed his eyes at the boy. "Watch it, Trashmouth. At least I intend on saving Y/N," he replied.

Richie shot up from his spot, his red eyes focused on Steve as he glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean? You think I don't want to save her?" Richie asked. "Wouldn't be surprised," Wheeler muttered, making Richie turn his gaze on the boy. "Of course you have something to say. You always do, don't you?" Richie shot back.

Wheeler stood up from his spot, ignoring Eleven as she tried to grab him and pull him back down. "Mike," Eleven whispered, but the boy shook his head. "No, El. I'm done with this asshole," Wheeler said as he walked over to Richie. Richie was raising an eyebrow at the boy and they both crossed their arms as Wheeler came to a stop in front of him.

"Steve was right. He's actually trying to do someone to help Y/N while you're just sitting there pouting. Y/N needs our fucking help, but you can't get over yourself enough to realize it. So why don't you just shut the hell up for once, go sit back down with your little friends, and let us handle the situation," Wheeler said.

Richie scoffed in disbelief. "I'm sorry. I don't seem to remember when I asked for your opinion? Y/N's just as much my friend as she is yours and you have to be batshit crazy to believe that I don't want to go save her," Richie shot back. "Well I didn't exactly see you rushing to save her when she was trapped behind the gate," Wheeler told him. "Oh, you mean the gate that your girlfriend shut? The gate that, because it was shut, allowed for Y/N to get trapped in the fucking Upside Down? That gate?" Richie asked as he jabbed Wheeler in the chest.

"Touch me again. No, better yet. Disrespect my girl again. See what fucking happens," Wheeler growled. "Mike," Eleven sighed as she got up from her spot. She knew Y/N wouldn't want them arguing like this and it seemed that Eddie realized this too. "Guys. Calm down. We really don't need to-" Eddie began as he walked forward and began to pull Richie away, Eleven doing the same to Wheeler. However, that was when Wheeler delivered the final blow, "You don't deserve, Y/N. None of you losers do."

Eddie froze at that, his hand that was on Richie's arm immediately dropping. He turned his face to look at Wheeler and gave him an unamused look before saying, "You fucking asshole!" Eddie was about to lunge at Wheeler, but Beverly and Ben quickly pulled him back. However, the Party seemed to notice Eddie's small advance and they were all up in a flash and by Wheeler's side, the Losers doing the same for Richie and Eddie. None of them knew how it happened, but before they knew it, the once silent room was filled with arguing as both side took shots at the other.

"Y/N's life has been one hundred times better since she left Hawkins! You ever wonder why she never comes back to visit?"

"I thought the move was the worst thing to ever happen to her, but after meeting you guys I see I stand corrected!"

"Say that shit again. I dare you!"

"Y/N would leave you all in a heartbeat to come back to Hawkins and she wouldn't even look back!"

"You motherfuckers!"

It all became a blur after that, everyone from each side yelling and shoving each other as their pent up emotions poured out of them. They were all hurt and upset about Y/N and this was all they could think of doing at the moment to relieve some of the pain.

As for Bill, he was still sitting in the corner by himself. It was only when the fighting seemed to register in his brain that the boy looked up, a look of complete disbelief on his face as he clutched the jacket harder and stood up from his spot. "Hey!" Bill yelled, but the groups were too red faced and into the fight for them to notice his yelling. Bill huffed in frustration before shoving his way to the middle of the group. He pushed the sides away from each other before yelling at the top of his lungs, "Sit the fuck down!" Hearing those words coming out of the stuttering boy who had been sitting quietly in the corner had them all freeze, each of them realizing what had just happened. Reluctantly, the two groups went to sit back down, but not before glaring at the other side.

Bill scoffed as he stared at the groups and shook his head as tears filled his eyes. "A-A-Are you fucking k-k-kidding me?" he asked, finally getting all eyes to turn on him as he looked at them in disbelief. "We have a life at st-st-stake and you all are bickering like a bunch of f-f-four year o-o-olds!" Bill exclaimed, his eyes looking at the groups in disbelief. "Pull yourselves t-t-together and get up off your asses. We've got a f-f-friend to save!" Everyone's anger seemed to dissolve slightly as they watched the boy, looks of guilt flashing across some of their faces.

Bill shook his head and looked down at the ground as he tried to calm himself down. When he looked back up and began to speak, his voice was clear and strong, not a single piece of evidence of his stutter falling from his lips causing everyone to realize just how serious he was being.

"I know each of you is hurting. I know. Y/N meant a lot to all of us. But you all have to realize just who is in this room because every person in this room plays a major role in Y/N's life," Bill said. He glanced at the Party and gestured towards them. "You guys grew up with her. You helped shape her into the person she was and gave her some of the best experiences of her life. You showed her what friendship was and what family means. She knows what she does today because of you."

Bill then gestured towards the Losers and himself. "We're the ones who have helped her through a tough part of her life. We've protected her with our own lives and have loved her unconditionally. She's been one of our own since day one and she will be until the day she dies," he told them. Bill sighed before saying, "Look, we all care about her and she cares about each of us. We're her friends. We're her family. No one can tell any of us any different."

"That's why we're all upset because not only are we scared of losing her, but we are scared of her forgetting about us in any way. But I promise you that it's not happening for either side. She's always going to be a member of the Party and she's always going to be a part of the Losers' Club. She's like the in-between, the perfect mix of each group. She won't forget her past and she won't forget her present," Bill said as he pointed to each of the groups.

"Y/N has always put our needs in front of her own, but right now, we're going to have to put her above everything else. Each of you is going to have to push aside your differences, your egos, your selfishness, and your attitudes if you want to get Y/N back. Because the only way to get our girl back is if we work together," Bill told them, his eyes flickering over the guilty expressions of the groups as they realized Bill was right about everything he had said.

"How are we going to do that?" Richie asked softly. "Cause I'm with you, Bill. I'm just. . .I don't want to screw up and lose her. We're going to have to make sure everything is perfect and right now the major thing in our way is finding a way to get back to her."

"That's w-w-where the first part of my p-p-plan comes into play," Bill told him. He then turned to look at Eleven who was looking to the ground. As if sending his stare, the girl glanced up. "Eleven, is th-th-there any way you th-th-think you could open the g-g-gate? I meant if you were able to cl-cl-close it, shouldn't you be able t-t-to either make one or o-o-open it?"

"You want her to make a portal that goes to the Upside Down?" Wheeler asked, his tone a little hard as he became protective of his girlfriend. "I can do it," Eleven said with a nod causing Wheeler to look to her. Eleven sighed and glanced at her boyfriend. "Y/N is our friend, Mike. Don't tell me you wouldn't try anything to get back the girl who you've been friends with since the second grade." Wheeler looked down, his expression softening at Eleven's words. Eleven put a hand to the boy's cheek before whispering, "I owe it to her to try." Wheeler nodded slightly and Eleven smiled before letting her eyes flicker over to Bill. Bill gave the girl a small nod in thanks which Eleven quickly returned.

"Bill is right," Beverly called out from where she was sitting beside Ben and Stan. Everyone looked to her and she glanced up from her hands before letting her eyes flicker around the room. "Both groups have to work together. It's the only way we are going to win this thing. It's the only way we are going to get Y/N back."

Bill nodded in agreement before allowing his eyes to flicker over each of the people in the room. His gaze stopped on Steve who was looking at the boy with an unreadable expression on his face. But then Steve was giving him a small nod of approval and thanks and Bill couldn't help but smile as a small wave of relief washed over him.

"All th-th-those in favor of t-t-teaming up to save Y/N?" Bill questioned as he looked around the room. Everyone's hands shot up into the air almost instantly and Bill smiled softly before looking down at the jacket in his hands. He then looked back up and gave the group a nod.

"Let's g-g-go save our g-g-girl then, shall we?"

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[mira-shard]

Fluff Alphabet (Marina X Jae edition)

Thanks for tagging me @mizutoyama!  💖

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A= Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?) The first attractive thing Marina noticed was Jae's defiance of the rules. She strongly believes rules shouldn't always be followed. One of the most attractive things is how loyal Jae is to his family. Jae loves Marina's sense of adventure and loyalty. During their first trip to knockturn alley, she almost immediately became ride or die for him and loyalty means a lot to him.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?) Both of them always thought they'd grow up to have a family. But when the wizarding war came they decided to wait until everything was over and settled down. But life had other plans as it turns out Marina was pregnant during the final battle at Hogwarts. Once things had settled down they decided to expand their family when they both felt it was safe enough to do so.

C= Cuddle (How do they cuddle?) Preferbably with Jae on his back and Marina on top of him. Marina's very clingly while cuddling and Jae likes being able to grab a drink while cuddling cause she ain't getting up for hours (Not like he actually minds)

D= Dates (What are dates with them?) As long as it's the two of them and they're having fun away from the castle? It's a date. Sometimes when they're joking around they call detention a date.

E= Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…)) Marina: You're my safe place. Jae: You're my partner in crime. Marina: .... This shit is equally dope. Jae & Marina: You won't believe the kinda shit that comes out of this kid's throat (I had to, they totally would)

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?) Alright, so I actually wanted to write a two shot fic about them realising their feelings for one another but basically; Marina realised it when he was comforting her after she broke down from the pressure of the portrait vault. When Jae told her she was just one girl and that it's okay to take a step back for her own sake, she felt really seen and vulnerable and that made her realise it. Jae realised his feelings during a divination class. They were paired up together and sure, he thought she was attractive but when he noticed how sweaty his palms were and she just took his mind of it by talking about a prank they could pull on Pitts or adding something other than sandwhiches to the menu. It was those little things that made him think "Oh, shit. I love her."

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?) Iiiiiiii honestly don't know if this question is like, slightly NSFW?? But considering it's the fluff alphabet XD Yes, they're quite gentle with one another. Sometimes they can play a bit rough, like wrestling or shoving one another, but most of the time they're careful around each other.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?) They actually rarely hold hands. They prefer to link arms cause, well, when you're walking through knockturn alley it's quicker to draw your wand that way. Plus Marina likes staying as close as possible.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?) Marina immediately noticed Jae was a joker during their first detention together. When they talked about the things they did to get into detention she thought he was sneaky and someone who would sell her out to Dumbledore for a galleon. Luckily, he proved her that that assumption was completely incorrect. Jae thought she was kinda cueless when he saw her stare at the bread in confusion. He assumed she never had to do it before and was probably a rich kid who would complain about detention. Some of their first assumptions about each other are completely inaccurate but they got ofter those assumptions once they spent more time together.

J= Jealousy (Do they get jealous?) Marina gets jealous easier than Jae does. Marina's jealousy mostly stems from her own insecurity and can be a little bit petty about it, but Jae isn't one to avoid confrontation and calls her out on it if she's acting up when they're in private. Jae rarely gets jealous cause he's quite easy going and is confident in Marina's feelings about him. On the rare occasion that he does get jealous, Marina noticed quickly and gets a bit more affectionate and PDA to reassure him non verbally.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?) Some quick pecks during detention or in the library are quite common. But the longer ones are in places where they can be alone, both prefer privacy and aren't that much into PDA. Unless Jae is in a teasing mood. As for their first kiss, it was in the restricted section of the library. The two snuck in to find something they could use with either the vaults or useful information. Marina noticed a book she also had at home that she loved reading as a child. She started fangirling slightly cause it's very advanced magic and Jae thought she looked so adorable, like a kid in a candy store, so he couldn't help himself and kissed her.

L= Love (Who says ‘I love you first?) Marina did, in their seventh year. I still need to figure out a few of the details there.

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?) Probably will be the summer festival side quest. Will definetely write a one shot about it once it comes out. But for now I'd say the time they made fudge together for Pitts.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil one another? Do they buy the person they love everything?) Jae gives small gifts from time to time, like a banned item he think she'd like or find useful. Most of his gifts are practical or cute. Sometimes he wishes he could spoil her more but Marina reminds him she prefers his company over anything material. Marina comes from a very wealthy family and loves spoiling her friends, but sometimes she takes it a bit too far. Jae doesn't mind it that much but had to explain to her that sometimes he prefered a hug over some kind of expensive item. That conversation took place a few times before Marina finally managed to reel it in. (She still goes all out on occasions like Christmas or Jae's birthday-) 

O=  Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?) Marina immediately thinks of yellow, cause of the signarture "gold" hoodie. Jae thinks of purple, without a doubt.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?) They only started using pet names to tease one another but somewhere along the line they started saying some of them unironically. Mostly in private, tho. Marina's usual pet name for Jae is "darling," and Jae only ever really calls her "kitten." Altho that one is purely to tease her for her animagus form.

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?) Exploring Hogwarts. The castle is very old and has more secret passways and tunnels than they could probably ever find.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?) So there's a hidden room in the dungeon that's under the black lake and is entirely made of glass. The ceiling, the floor, the walls, you can see trough it all, as if you were in the lake. These two love to just go there and stare at all the mermaids and sea life that goes by while they sneak in some blankets, pillows and some butterbeer.

S = Sad (How do they cheer each other up?)

When Marina is upset, physhical affection works almost always. Something as simple as holding her for a few minutes calms her down pretty often. She just needs a safe spot to let all the tears out.

When Jae gets sad, he rants to let it out. He paces around in the room while ranting and Marina listens quietly. Once he's done she'll pull him in for a hug and tries to talk about whatever the issue is. If Jae doesn't want to talk about it, she'll start making stupid, corny jokes to make him laugh.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?) Practically anything. For Jae it's cooking, pranks, how to bend the rules, hobbies and interest and funny/weird things he noticed. Marina loves talking about advanced magic, gossip she learned from the mermaids, quidditch or joking around in general.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?) Jae likes to take long walks outside of the castle to help him relax. Marina prefers to stay in a room with some music on, where she won't have to do anything but just breathe. If they both need to relax they often just take a quaffle and toss it around while making small talk.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?) Jae likes to brag from time to time, most of the times it's about a new recipe that he got in one try, or an especially difficult item that he managed to sneak in. Marina mainly brags about things related to quidditch. Only very sometimes when people are being annoying she brags about the cursed vaults to make a point.

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?) Hehehehe, no spoilers ;)

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?) Can't help but immediately think of Rollercoaster by Bleachers, not sure why. They don't really have a song yet, but maybe that'll change?

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?) Honestly? Neither never thought about it seriously in the beginning. It's about two years after they graduated when they decide together that they'll start considering it but sadly then rumors about voldemort returning showed up.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?) Marina wanted a kneazle, Jae a crup pup. They end up getting both and named them, ironically, Merlin and Arthur.

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Tagging @hanihonii perhaps you would like to do it~? Cause I wanna know more about Stephanie and Ben  👀

[ahumansvoid]

The unofficial Follow up

Tumblr is a fucking nightmare. It deleted this entire thing when I edited the fucking tags.

Anywho.  This is a follow up to Commander Fox Deal With A lot which itself is a follow up to my Interviews fic. 

I call it unofficial because a) I’m not sure if this is really how it’ll go within the Interviews Universe and b) If this happens in the Interviews Universe, it’d be after the Anakin follow up (That I am still writing, Anakin doesn’t like me okay? He’s a dama bitch whenever I try) Hence I’m not putting it up on AO3 right now.

But I still want to share it because idk how long the Anakin follow up is gonna take and I like what I wrote. And am rewriting this verbatim because someone reblogged this so thank you because I didn’t want to figure out what the fuck I wrote up here.

Also, if you don’t want to read those two fics but want to try this one out, all you really need to know is that the Coruscant Guard has become a Daycare. Other than that, this is a pretty independent work.

Now Idk what I wrote down here so bear with me if you’re rereading this after April 4th because this has some slight changes I’m sure. Also. I edited the thing here so, let’s hope I remember my edits.

Characters: Commander Fox, Clone OCs

Words: 870 (or somewhere around there)

Warnings: Mentioned Character Death.

Mando’a translations:

Vod -> Brother

Di’kut -> idiot (lit. someone who forgets to put on their pants)

Utreekov -> idiot, fool, emptyheaded

Gar mirsh solus* -> your brain cell is lonely

Jorbe** -> Reason

Ade -> child

*The one on Mandoa.org is actually Kaysh mirsh solus (His brain cell is lonely) but Gar means your and I figured it’d work. Let me know if it doesn’t.

**Yes I named a clone ‘Reason’ in Mandoa. Take a guess at what’s notable about him.

Now the story

“Explain. Now.” Fox really wanted to know what Ink and Hive were thinking. 

Both troopers shuffle a bit, glancing at each other, before Hive starts talking, “So, the safety lady came by to check if our base was safe for kids because the Chancellor wanted to be certain. We knew it would be so we didn’t care, but it wasn’t. The lady gave us a day to clean up before she came back to ascertain it was safe. It is now. But there were dangerous things in reach of the kids that no vod would leave out. So, Ink and I went through the security footage to see what di’kut was leaving dangerous shit around.” 

Ink takes over the story, “It was one of the Chancellors aids. She had come down and put dangerous stuff in easily accessible areas for children. It was deliberate. So,” Ink shrugs, “we bugged the Chancellors office and set up hidden cameras. We needed to know if he was telling her to or if she just really hated kids.”

Hive cuts in, “While we recorded everything, we set it up so it only triggered our comms when she went into his office. And when she did, we got this recording,” Hive holds out a holorecorder and turns it on. An image of the Chancellor and one of his aids came to life, paused for a second before Hive played it.

”And?” The Chancellor prompts.

“I set up everything you told me to. Their daycare will be shut down before the days out.” The aid states.

“Good. Leave.” With that, the aid leaves the office. 

And the recording stops. 

This still does not explain the actions those two had taken. Fox looked at both for more of an explanation.

Hive speaks up first, “We went through the recordings later and found him in an upset over the daycare not being shut down. I don’t have it on me but he was talking about maybe sending a bounty hunter to attack the base. Make it unfit for kids. We couldn’t let that stand, vod.”

Fox sighs heavily, “Let me make this clear. You two assassinated the Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic because he threatened our base and daycare?” Fox really wanted to make sure he was hearing this correctly.

“He debated to himself on whether to attack the base when the kids were here!” Ink protests.

Which, while a good point, changes little. 

Fox groans, “You two are true utreekov. Seriously, gar mirsh solus.”

Both troopers were silent, but were clearly upset with the insults. But not fighting them.

First smart action from both of them. 

Would it of killed them to go through more of their recordings from the Chancellors office?

Fox and Jorbe had gone through it and found some rather damning footage.

Fox pulls out his own holorecorder and played a clip that Ink and Hive’s bugs and cameras had picked up.

Chancellors Palpatine stands up from his desk and goes over to a holocaller, pulling on a robe and pulling the hood up to hide his face. After pressing the call button, Count Yan Dooku appears. 

“Lord Sidious how might I be of service?” Count Dooku asks.

The Chancellor answers, “There will be a Jedi battalion lead by Master Gallia at Bo’lim. Win the system, she will not be able to call in reinforcements.”

Count Dooku bows, “Of course, Master.” with that, the holocall cuts out.

Fox shuts off the holorecorder and levels the pair of troopers with a Look.

“Did General Gallia-”

“I requisitioned reinforcements and changed certain travel plans for other battalions so she’d have backup.” Fox states, it had been one of the first things he’d done upon hearing that, “Now, please explain why you assassinated our Chancellor who was a Sith Lord and working with the enemy?” Fox’s voice was hard. He wanted these two to get with the program. They weren’t. He was not happy.

He rarely was. But that was beside the point.

“We assassinated him because he threatened our ade.” Ink states.

Fox sighs again. Seriously?

“You two are fucking morons.”

“Are we in trouble?” Hive asks.

“Yes you two are in deep trouble for assassinating our Supreme Chancellor who was committing treason against the Galactic Republic.” Fox was pretty sure his sarcasm wasn’t coming through his anger, but he really didn’t care. “The fuck do you think?”

Hive’s answer was hesitant, “No?”

Fox sighs heavily, “You’re both on latrine duty. Get out of my office.” 

It wasn’t really a punishment. Not the one they should have gotten for assasinating the Supreme Chancellor.

But Palpatine had been a traitor to the republic. Jorbe was leaking the illegal footage, making sure it had no connection to the Guard.  

Soon everyone would know the Chancellor was a traitor.

And a Sith Lord.

Fox probably should of punished Ink and Hive harder.

 If anyone found out it had been them and all they got was latrine duty?

Fox would be decommissioned with them. 

But he couldn’t bring himself to punish them more.

The Chancellor was a Traitor to the Republic Fox was sworn to protect.

Also.

Fox really hated the man.