#so i have to save it to read later
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sketched this out at jury duty actually
#i sat there for eight hours and wasn't called at ALL. even for selection >:(#death note#light yagami#l lawliet#lawlight#i don't ship them that hard tbh#i just like to cheer for classic yaoi as i'm rewatching this series#yippeeeeeee love at first sudden-death mind game 🎉🎉🎉#edit: omg multiple ppl have pointed out the hand (positively)...#i've been wondering why it's getting so much attention... it's probs bc i over-rendered it since i was worried it looked bad LOL#edit 2 months later: i'm glad DN is still enjoyed by so many people!! it's rly nice to see 😭#also i saw notif for a reply that started with “shipping light with L while the former is only-” but it doesn't show up under the post#so i can't read the rest... tumblr saving me from something vile truly. i assume it's about age#btw this character is a magical serial killer#like be fr LMAO i think there might be other issues here!!#the elitist morally bankrupt 17 y/o murderer with a god complex can have a little crush#as a treat <3
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buckle up lads we're going BACK INTO THE BOOK
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#(the origin of halloween huh) (oooh)#why yes i did wake up way too early to watch the stream and will have no memory of drawing this later#anyway THE MAGIC BOOK IS BACK TO EAT US ONCE AGAIN!!!!#this does make things make a lot more sense if it doesn't have to. y'know. actually take place in the established world#like how jack and sally are apparently just gonna be THERE as themselves WHY NOT#i'm certainly not complaining mind you#scully looks like he's gonna be super adorable and i love him already#spooky scary skeleman who just goes :O a lot and is excited for halloween#he seems like he might actually be more of a fusion of jack and sally? or maybe i'm just reading too much into it#still getting jazzy vibes off of him though. is not scully j graves an incredible jazz musician name.#does this open up the possibility that the last time we went into the book there was a sexy anime boy stitch just offscreen the whole time#...maybe some things are best left uncontemplated#god everyone in this event looks fantastic i'm so glad i saved up some keys after all#a little sad that there's no lilia but you know what the fact that a halloweentown malleus exists is still pretty dang good#and sebek's hat is SO tall#the biggest hat for the loudest boy#i hope oogie is here too i need him and jamil to meet#i need jamil to be faced with a guy who's just a bunch of bugs standing on each other's shoulders in a trenchcoat#i am not coherent right now i just needed to get this out before i go pass out again
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Happy tdov to fat trans people. 🏳️⚧️ Biggest thing that helped me as a trans kid was seeing older fat trans people. There were a lot of really irritating "advice" posts going around early in my time on the internet with a lot of misinformation in them, but one that I constantly saw (in addition to people claiming you should wear your pants rediculously low or only wear button ups) were posts saying you had to lose weight to transition. Can confidently confirm that is completely untrue. 👍
#seal.txt#tdov#that 'sky and mike' image of the two old trans dudes hugging was one that I had saved to my phone as a trans teen#and i would look at it sometimes and just wonder how they had made it#idk its just nice knowing we live that long and its not a requirement to be skinnyin order to be respected and loved and get old#some of the old 'advice' posts i saw were really completely bizarre and a lot of them stick with me to this day in insecurities#this would have been 2016 ish tumblr so i know not that long ago but i would have been around 13 for reference#weird that i remember so many of the things i read back then. i could probably fill a post with things i was misinformed on due to Tumblr#specifically tumblrs run by people that i didnt really have the knowledge or awareness to understand probably didnt have my best interests#like 'trans rights ' blogs i would follow and not notice until much later were quite the opposite#this is the consequence of viewing social media before i knew all the secret codewords and my brain was much less developed than it is now
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Dark enchantress cookie redesign
#I've been thinking about her recently#my only knowledge of her is from kingdom so thats the only version i know but she actually seem pretty empathetic all things considered#i mean she raised velvet and keeps members of the cod that probably hinder her progress [COUGH COUGH licorice and poison muchroom COUGH]#dont get me wrong i like them alot and i think the are sweet but for a while i really didn't understand why she kept them around because of#the way all the cookies talk about her charater#she would seem verry tough love or just ruthless but in actuality she just keeps adopting these weird cookies she finds#she also knows what they are good at and plays into those strength. pome is good at keeping things organized. Mushroom is good at#keeping others guard down. licorice is willing to work hard to succeed at any task given#choco is good at fighting and keeping his team safe. she clearly knows them fairly well and also sometimes supports the stupid stuff they#want to do#i would say pome is more ruthless then dark enchantress herself#anyway i have more thoughts about her but I'll save them for a later time. thanks for reading ig ^^#dark enchantress cookie#dark enchantress crk#crk#cookie run kingdom
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forgotten playthings, forgotten child 🧸
Jack from my series Lost & Found Children 🤍🖤
i hope to showcase more of my ocs in 2024 hehe! im FINALLY getting around to finishing art i left to rot in my folders (the pandora hearts drawing last month being one of em). if you saw the WIP of THIS particular drawing 2 yrs ago... no you didn’t 💔
my charas are very personal to me, but tbh ive always been a bit hesitant to share their stories. over time i realized ... it’s kind of a shame to not make art from one’s heart. which is something i regret a lot year after year whenever i make my yearly art summary reflection. i'm like damn i need to make more emotionally evoking pieces!!! so i'm gonna keep going in 2024 with that in mind ❤ i have to admit, although this drawing started 2 years ago, and there's a lot i would do differently if i were to supposedly draw it now - this concept goes pretty hard.
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the final drawing stayed pretty close to the original concept which im so relieved for! i think part of the reason why i left it on the backburner for so long, was the fact that i included so many details, and i was unsure of how to colour the "background". (not to mention stuff like cons & real life getting in the way).
i'm glad for discovering a really handy watercolour brush, it's helped me a lot in my last few drawings, bc i dont have to colour in each detail. especially since the witch hat atelier: eternal ephemera zine piece i did. otherwise if i coloured this back in 2022 with my usual method, i'm pretty sure i really would have included a shading and highlight layer for each individual toy... HAHAHA. much to think about
oh yeah and in the last few days of drawing this i was listening to some visual kei bands. i love how some of the band members literally have been performing since like the 90s or something and DO NOT AGE and are literal vampires. every so often i fall back into visual kei (you can tangentially thank aggretsuko although yes i know it's not the same). and i kind of realized. i like Jack's edgy design so much because he looks like. a visual kei esque vampire.
#illustration#artists on tumblr#original#original character#my ocs#jack#i will post more on my ocs eventually... slowly.. this coming year#2024 will be the year of the oc..... definitely want to lean into developing my stories & charas & gothic aesthetic a lot more hehe#leaning into like. whatever late 2000s manga had going on with their dark aesthetics - pandora hearts. black butler. d gray man etc#those mangaka were drinking some good shit. permanently altered my little teenage brain forever#i also managed to record a timelapse of this drawing#but my computer cant handle timelapses on csp so i had to like. save this drawing in different parts#so ill have to stitch together the timelapse videos#sorry. got rid of the closeup bc it didn't look that great#ill post it in the read more later#lost and found children
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nina!!!!!! :3
wanted to do a more cartoony kind of style than usual hehe
aaaaaaaaand a transparent version as well 😈😈😈
i love her!! also my recent posts have gotten so much love thank you guys so much for that holy shit :,o really ups my motivation with starting to post again i appreciate it a bunch :D
#art#digital art#small artist#artists on tumblr#fanart#my artwork#creepypasta#creepypasta fanart#creepypasta fandom#nina the killer#nina the killer fanart#i love her#crp fandom#crp fanart#crp save me from everything thats going on irl#slender take me into ur mansion already plz#do u guys actually read the tags??#hiiiiii!! :3#might draw more later today who knows#im sick rn so#nothing crazy just a cold#i use the tags to yap about shit ppl dont care abt LMAO#i have a new idea for my sona……#might doodle some of that…………#ok im done sorry LOL#OMG NO IM NOT I JUST REALIZED THERES A WEIRD LINE ON HER FACE I FORGOT TO ERASE FUCK#TOO LATE NOW LOL
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The fandom can't make up its mind on what's supposed to be a joke and what's supposed to be serious because the show can't either half the time. It's a tonally disjointed mess that wants to have absurd over-the-top humor as well as a plot and moments of drama, romance, and angst that demand you see the characters as people and feel for what they're going through. Except you can't do that without also treating the dumb bullshit in a somewhat grounded way. Like, you're still dealing with the same characters. You can't just go "Oh, that? Let's ignore that!" the moment it's no longer convenient to you. You've opened this can of worms and now you have to sleep in it. So, every character flip-flops between two different versions of themselves depending on what the writers need in any particular scene.
This is not to say surreal humor can't be used right alongside characters you're supposed to empathize with, Teen Titans (not Go) did that and it worked. It's just that the absurdity can only come from the setting (Mad Mod, Mother Mae-Eye, pretty much anything Control Freak is in) or from designated joke characters (Date With Destiny). Teen Titans never had the main characters acting in clearly absurd ways as the butt of a joke unless those characters were brainwashed somehow, because the writers knew that would ruin any of the more grounded moments they wanted to write. The writers of Miraculous missed the memo on that one.
I don't disagree. A perfect example is Derision where the show takes all of the bad jokes about Marinette's crush and decides to take them seriously as if you can possible take them seriously without making Marinette come across as unhinged and dangerous. You can't, which brings us to the topic at hand: how do you even begin to understand these characters when the show is constantly making character-breaking choices?
My approach - and the approach I recommend others take if they're going to keep watching the show - is to focus on the characters' cores and reject anything canon does to violate those cores. I don't argue for this stance because I love the characters so much that I only want the good things to count. I take this stance because, if you don't, then the characters fall apart. There is no way to make them work as fully realized characters while embracing every choice canon has made. Miraculous has massive characterization issues that go well beyond the humor.
For example, Adrien has multiple moments of terrible behavior that are played in a serious manner such as the moment in the episode Frozer where he tries to start a fight with Ladybug in the middle of an akuma attack because she wouldn't accept a rose from him earlier:
Setup
Ladybug: I can't accept this rose from you. I told you already. I'm in love with someone else. Cat Noir: I know, M'lady. But if he weren't here, would things be different between us? Ladybug: Well, you know, I can't even begin to imagine him not being here. I'm sorry, Cat Noir. I really gotta get going, and you better do the same. (Swings her yo-yo to head back home; Cat Noir is sad, looking downwards, with one petal of the rose falling.)
Payoff
Ladyice: Cat Noir. We need to set up a trap for whoever turned the city into a giant ice rink. (throws yo-yo) Icecat: (bitterly) My feline instincts prefer to track and observe before I attack. You go your way, I'll go mine. Ladyice: Please don't tell me you're mad at me about the rose. Icecat: There may be a certain chill now between us. Ladyice: I get it, but we should really focus on saving Paris right now. Icecat: We don't always have to do everything together, after all. It's not like we're a couple. (skates away)
There's no way to argue this off as a bad joke. While Adrien has every right to feel hurt, those feelings don't excuse him acting like a pouting child in the middle of an akuma fight. It doesn't excuse him acting like this at any point! Ladybug is not a villain for telling him no. She wasn't even mean about it!
I clearly fully agree that Adrien looks awful and selfish here, but I'd still argue that it's not something that should be used to define Adrien's character if your goal is to tell the "ideal" version of Miraculous. "Ideal" being the version that canon seems to be going for based on the overall picture we can sort of make out if we back way, way, way up and look at the extremely abstract picture canon is clumsily painting.
Unless canon is going to do something monumentally stupid, Adrien is Marinette's endgame romantic interest. It's also clear that there is no plan to cut him from the team. He's going to be Chat Noir for the rest of his life or at least well into his adulthood. This means that he is supposed to be a good hero who deserves his miraculous just like he's supposed to be a charming and cute romantic lead. These are the two things I keep in mind when trying to shift through canon to figure out what writing choices I should fully embrace and what writing choices I have to either ignore or treat as true flaws that get an actual character arc. In my book, either approach is fine because most of the characters are deeply flawed at this point and you can't give them all arcs without bloating the story to nonsense levels.
My goal with this approach is never to say, "oh, that moment shouldn't count in terms of how people feel about the character." It's more, "that moment goes so hard against who this character is very clearly supposed to be that I can't take it into account if I want to tell the kind of story that Miraculous is trying (and clearly failing) to tell."
As an example, let's list off Adrien's worst behaviors. The things that make him look terrible:
He sucks at communicating his needs and feelings, leading to multiple moments where he gets mad at Ladybug for things she's totally unaware of
He has quit or considered quitting without warning multiple times and only one of those was because of something he did "wrong" (NYC Special)
He puts his feelings before the safety of Paris on multiple occasions, even going so far to purposely miss akuma fights to see what happens
He is incredibly pushy about his crush, often ignoring Ladybug's feelings on the topic by continuing to bring it up even after she asked him to stop
There have been multiple instances where he almost cataclysmed multiple people in a fit of anger
His love for Ladynette isn't strong enough to let him break free of things like akumas and nightmare dust even when he's looking her in the eyes making him a pretty crappy romantic lead
People will argue that some of this behavior makes sense for his character because of the abuse that canon has technically introduced, but that the writers seem blissfully unaware of. I don't disagree with that argument, but that doesn't change the fact that none of this is acceptable behavior for a hero and Adrien is a hero who keeps doing these things. A sad backstory doesn't give you the right to behave poorly without consequences.
At the same time, if I fully embrace these elements of canon, what I get is an Adrien salt fic where he loses his miraculous for good while Marinette finds her real true love or even just a non-salty fic where Adrien leaves for his own meatal health and gets replaced by someone who can handle being a hero right now. Canon's not writing either of those, so the only way to engage with these flaws while enjoying canon or aiming for the same end goals as canon is to say, "I guess this doesn't count" or "I guess I need to tone this way down and work through it via a character arc" or even "I guess that was just a bad joke maybe?"
That is the essence of what I mean when I call myself a writing salt, character sugar blog. It comes from looking at canon and seeing that there's simply no way to embrace the worst moments and the best at the same time. We're not dealing with a coherent plot and/or complex characters. We're dealing with a nonsense plot that will warp the characters to bizarre shapes to make random ideas work even if those idea go wildly against canon's end goals.
As an example, Glaciator and Frozer should not exist in the same universe or, at the very least, something should explain why Chat Noir randomly changed his stance on Ladybug's crush from acceptance to pushiness. As is, the pieces don't fit together. The behavior is too contradictory. Remember, this is how Glaciator ends:
Perhaps Ladybug will love me someday. I mean, like, I love her. I have to believe. In the meantime, her friendship is the best gift of all.
Where did this version of Adrien go? Why did he regress in Frozer? There's no in-universe reason. It happened because the writers weren't ready to let the love square date or grow close, but they also wanted the love square to cause drama, so Adrien ends up looking terrible just like Marinette ends up looking terrible when it's her turn to cause love square drama. Her terribleness takes a different flavor so it can be hard to realize that this is a systemic issue, but that's what it is. It's deeply frustrating, but it also clearly stems from cheap writing and not quality characterization.
This is also why my stance is that canon as a whole only supports my Doyalistic core-character analysis style of approach. The writing is too poor quality to do Watsonian analysis where you embrace the full picture and try to put it all together. The closest I'll get to Watsonian analysis is pointing out how much the writing botches a Watsonian take by showing you all the way the writing contradicts itself, twisting into a nonsense pretzel of frustration where the payoffs never satisfy! (See the season four rant for an example or anything where I talked about Chloe's supposed damnation arc.)
There are even characters where canon is such a total mess that you can Doyalistically argue for two separate takes! Gabriel is a perfect example. He is all over the place and his ending was so poorly handled that you can make strong arguments for writing him as a cold-hearted villain or a sympathetic villain without the end result feeling like it spits in the face of canon because both takes maintain his one core element: villain.
That's the big thing I keep in mind when I look at the characters and the lore and the plots and try to come up with versions that the average fan would like. I don't think that there's one true version of any of these things, but I do feel comfortable saying that there are versions that will very clearly only appeal to people who are salty about a specific thing that canon did poorly. That's not who I want to appeal to in my adaptions, so while I'm not going to argue that those takes have no backing in canon, I will argue that those takes are not supported by canon as a whole. Embracing them requires you to take the worst parts of canon at face value while ignoring what canon is clearly trying to do with the overall story.
I get the appeal of that, but it's not fun for me because that approach feels like rolling around in the mud with the pigs. I don't want to sink to canon's level! I want to have fun! That's why I talk about how to make canon into its best self, not its worst self. If you want its worst self, just go watch the actual show. I will be shocked it if disappoints you.
#anon ask#ml writing critical#ml writing salt#pandaofsecrets#character core#Once again none of this is meant to excuse any specific actions as “not that bad”#This is just me explaining how I approach the characters#I know there are fics out there that try to be sugar while embracing some of the bad parts of canon and that rarely works for me#To address these issues correctly you basically have to rewrite canon with the goal of properly setting up and addressing a specific issue#You can't just jump into canon as-is and fix anything in a truly satisfying way because canon is such a disaster#Lila and Alya is a perfect example#Alya's writing in Lila's episodes goes so hard against who Alya is supposed to be that you have to completely rework Lila and/or her lies#Which is why my list of favorite Lila takedowns is so short#Even the ones that are kind to Alya have her painfully gullible because of how badly written the Lila stuff was#You can't have Alya smart and clever while including all the things she's canonically done in the Lila plot and I hate it#Season five at least temporarily killed the fun of writing for this fandom for me#I hope to get it back so I can finish my in progress stuff because I really do love these characters#Canon just makes it so hard to have fun these days#The stuff I've heard about season six is just depressing#I hope my love for the characters and ideas comes through on this blog in addition to my frustration#I wouldn't be here if I just hated everything about the show#Canon is so beyond saving that I can't even read a lot of non-salty fanfic these days#The stuff that tries to embrace the later seasons while also giving happy endings just depresses me because it never works.#I can only read early canon stuff AUS and reboots#Only way I can enjoy the fandom is to treat canon as a popular but horrible fanfic that a bunch of the fandom is embracing for some reason
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sorry just got reminded of the entirety of uncanny x-men #309 and how it's charles having a therapy session with himself about his love life and desires and how he kept sacrificing himself and his wants for The Cause and the whole time he imagines erik to represent his innermost thoughts in the form of a therapist to have him unravel all this
#snap chats#i was going to read the fic i had saved and i remember the angel who recc'd it to me mentioned this issue#and bruh .......... //screams//#there's an onslaught joke in here somewhere but i aint diggin for it it's 3AM and im goin to the mall with my bro later#this is brought on by scott and jean recently announcing their plans to be married and charles gets I-Refuse-To-Admit-It jealous#this is such a depressing issue and that's probably why i love it. there is a happy ending tho so that def lightens the load jaELKVEJKA#ironically @ my last ask this issue also tackles charles' issues with feelin loved only this time its more concretely in the romantic sense#which. very interesting to use erik as your 'therapist' there charlie.......#anyway usin erik is wild but i get it makes perfect non-ship sense in context but anything can be ship related if youre ill.... like me ...#but no genuinely it's an interesting issue.. i fear i'll have to buy it so i can look at it every day and throw up#not neglecting the opening is charles realizing erik saved him from a snowstorm (unlimited x-men number 1 1993)... ofc.....#UGH FUCK now i gotta get THAT issue too.... sorry im building a cherik library i guess i just love the angst so much <- im deranged#any time theres mentions of charles' suppressing his wants or just suppressing anything in general i go insane its my favorite thing Sorry#ok ima go read that fic now. after i bookmark a listing of uncanny xmen 309 vejarVERVJEAJ bye
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Charmed! 2025 (A Community Recap)
Charmed 2025 happened this past weekend, the 10th anniversary. My con recaps of years past desperately tried to fit in as much detail and information of each day, play-by-plays as I tagged everyone I could remember, talked about all the classes I'd been to, the people I'd met. Nowadays, I'm content to just do a general overview.
I spent a lot of time pensive and thinking about my time spent in the community and during cons. The 10th anniversary for Charmed meant that marked 9 years since I'd come out to my very first one. Longer in the community when I was still only online. How does the time fly by so quickly? It doesn't feel real. I still feel very new, and yet when I look around I'm surrounded by unfamiliar faces, cons growing too large and too quickly for me to recognize every face like I used to at the beginning. This sentiment is far from unique, and I had several conversations during the con with people who echoed similar feelings. At one point, I found myself in a group of people who all predated me in the con-going circuit - a rarity as more and more time goes on. We talked about the growth of cons, my first one. Though I'd spent a lot of the day feeling listless without realizing why, I found myself feeling comforted by the company, and realizing I had been lonely.
It's not at all a bad thing, and I'm genuinely happy that more and more people are finding community at these events - god knows I did. It's an adjustment is all, an ever-shifting growth of my own. It's plain to see from my blog activity over the years that I withdrew from talking as often. Not good, not bad, but also for good, and for bad. It's probably good that I don't reveal as much about myself at the drop of a hat. It's probably bad that I'm more avoidant now than I'd like to be. I'd remarked to a friend a while back that I didn't miss the old MMO that we met each other on and spent our days playing, but that I missed the period of time in my life that it defined. Similarly, I think I was going through a huge shift in life and perspective at the time I was first finding my feet at these events, these gatherings of people that taught me that it was worth it to seek my own happiness, that *I* was worth it. I know this inherently now, but it was much more of an impact back then for obvious reasons. I suppose it's like the honeymoon period of a relationship vs. settling into its stability. I suppose you could say I'm in a long-term relationship with myself! And it's some of the healthiest it's ever been. And now that I'm doing better and more stable these days, I should try to push myself to be out there more often.
Every time someone tells me that I've grown so much, I can't help but tear up and cry. (I'm doing it now as I type this.) And wouldn't you believe it, that happened to me like FOUR TIMES during Charmed!! Come on y'all!! What the hell. There's nothing that solves feeling stagnated in life like hearing that from someone else. I resolved myself at the beginning of this post not to feel like I had to document every interaction and tag every person, but it's difficult to fight the urge to yell it from the rooftops, how each interaction genuinely touched me, how they were the highlights of my con. How I miss them again, and how I can't wait to see them again. It couldn't come soon enough. Thank you to those who have watched my journey and always encouraged me. (I feel like I say this often, but, please know that I mean it every time. Except this time like triple it. That's how much it means to me.)
Charmed changed my life. I will say it to my dying breath and I will always be forever grateful for it. I learned people could be happy. I learned I could be happy. The connections I made at the first Charmed and subsequent years have changed my life beyond what a 2015 version of me could ever imagine. Tangibly, too -- beyond just a shift in perspective and mentality and wanting better for myself, I wouldn't have been able to move out without the chain of events that started at this first con. So- thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.
I challenge myself not to document every interaction because in the past, that was how I had to live. Every post was proof I had experienced hardship (and lived). Every con meant a new lease on life and I had to memorize every single one and struggle to do hours long voice recordings about each day of the event to remember as much as I could because, that was all I could bring back. And I don't need to anymore - not because I don't want to remember, but because I'm in a better place now. These aren't the desperate emergency infusions of care I didn't know I could have; now, they are cherished moments with friends old and new, a drop in the bucket of happy memories. And part of life is to forget and talk about old stories and remember them again with good company.
Until the next one, and the one after that, and the many more after that.
-- Ari
#it me#god did I have a tag for sappy posts#I had to force myself not to talk about each time someone said that because I wanted to yap forever about it#even in the tags I want to yap about it#but I think it's okay not to document and save every story#maybe some of them are for later. Maybe at another con#in the only namedrop in this whole post#I am beyond honored and glad that I was able to express to Wiseguy how much this con meant to me#and how it changed my life#and YEAH I CRIED so SUE ME#this post is not long enough and there is still so much to say#but it's okay. I'll make other posts. I will always say more another time#Charmed!2025#con recap#maybe I'll read this post out loud!#where would I even post that though? How? Does Tumblr do voice recordings?#man I've just been bit by the creative bug so bad#I want to express myself again
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You'll never guess who the kinda primary subject of this yappost/doodle dump is
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sigh. it always comes back
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Freaky ahh bowl of rice...what's he on about
"But Yōmakai isn't this a maddiman post. Why are the first two things besides the intro not ma" IM GETTING THERE. PATIENCE
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I redraw Kagemura every now and then to see if I improve!! :) Think I kinda ate w this one frfr
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No me mires con tus estupidos ojos
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UEgh. judging you btw
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Expression stuff cause I love seeing different depictions both from other people and within my own mind
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Mini thing based on a. Trend jm noticing LMAO
Also this Maddiman that scared some of my friends apparently 😔💔
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AU shenanigans and this idiot again. HATE HIM BLOW HIM UP NOW!!!! Jkjk i wish people drew him more i love him :)
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Anyways all done :) see you!!
#ghuhdjdedjed I like him!!! He's neat#also other things too#like slightly unhinged#crossposting this to EspacioHola later cause I need to post more often there guhuhu'''#●posts from yomakai#□ yolo watch 2!#are any of my art posts ever not going to have that tag...#yokai watch#dr. maddiman#maddiman#babblong#rawry#Caspian Hernandez#Ebi#Ebi ykw#Wotchagot#By the way!! Is my posting style kinda ehhh for lack of a better word annoying?#Someone kinda subtly hinted at my stuff being rather wordy/lengthy the other day (well. not all that subtle) and If that's the case I can#Summarize!! Or something#Or save more doodly stuff for like s[acehey/pixiv or something lol#for now tho!! Here's Madds :)#thanks for looking at my art stuffs anyways it means a lot to me ^u^ !!!! I'm happy I get to make people happy with my arts#btw mid post yomakai but i can't figure out how to add multiple pictures so I'll come back and say if I save the rest for tomorrow :o)#nvm you can tell the exact moment in post I figured it out LOL#myeahhh still posting thr rest tomorrow tho cause I forgot to name my files befr#Temporarily back on phone phew#Wait why am i writing all this down??#Know what it's cause I'm a yapper. Sigh#Sometimes you shouldn't read tags cause. You are cursed wirh the knowledge of my digital inexperience
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no rest for the wicked...
pls more
this shit is hilarious
like what are the others thoughts on this "illness" like garfiel, we've seen a bit of otto but i want more of him cuz he's best boi.
i imagine him going on full mama/big bro mood lmao
also that ficrec abt the crack fic by scissors? LMAO thx my parents knew im awake at 3am
point is
i like you now
so im gonna stalk- ahem- stick to you like a leach 🥺🌹
feed me more
The Cap’n's rule about everyone being strictly forbidden from watching him sleep—something about Garfiel being exactly like Rem but without pretty girl privilege—never actually stops the members of the camp from keeping an eye on him while the Cap’n's rests.
The camp is nothing if not resourceful, and it’s not like they need to be inside the room when he’s sleeping to make sure he stays safe. Waiting a few feet away from the only entrance is just as effective.
That's why when Garfiel smells a person approaching the Cap’n's room, during a time he knows he is asleep—they spent the last few days traveling to Pristella, like Hoshin traveled the desert to Banan after all—he rushes into the hallway and grabs the visitor's wrist right before it gets to knock at the Cap’n's door.
"—the hell do ya think yer doin’?" Only after he finishes talking, under the dim hallway light of the mansion-like inn, he takes notice of the visitor's red, flame-like hair. A sharp horror, the one he had felt hours flooded through his entire body, as he realized whose wrist he grabbed.
For a second, all is still.
"Hello again, Sir Garfiel," the Sword Saint greets him, smiling as if they were pals and he hadn't evaded Garfiel’s senses and stopped his punch with a casual block a couple hours before. As if he weren’t the main obstacle between Garfiel and the title of Strongest. "I apologize if my presence alerted you, but all I wish to do is talk to Subaru."
"W-well isn’ that convenient. Anythin’ ya might need ta tell the Cap’n, ya can tell my amazin’ self instead." Big fat lie. There is a reason why the Cap’n is the Cap’n despite being borderline comatose and apparently not that much older than him. But Garfiel can’t trust anyone stronger than him, and as much as he hates himself for it…
The difference between him and Reinhard van Astrea is like a newborn Earth dragon and the Divine Dragon themself.
His mere presence makes Garfiel's rawest instincts scream—tell him to either fight-or-flight. Garfiel doesn't want to be anywhere close to Reinhard, but much less he wants Reinhard anywhere close to the Cap’n when he sleeps. At least not until Garfiel proves himself a stronger shield than Reinhard.
Even if the Cap’n is not defenseless—at least, not usually— he is useless while he isn't awake. And that means Galfield has to fight for both of them.
"I see," Reinhard's lips tilt downwards. "I do not mean disrespect, but what I would like to discuss would be related to something personal, unrelated to our respective camps..."
Right. Garfield's eyebrow twitches. Right. The Cap’n said they were friends.
"...the Cap’n's asleep," his voice sounds hoarse even to his ears. Maybe if he makes his tone drier than the Augura Sand Dunes, he can get Reinhard to give up and leave?
Reinhard's eyes widen. "Is that so. From what I gathered he mostly slept during the night."
Garfield scowls. Of course the Sword Saint knew that much. "The Cap’n does, but he couldn' sleep during the trip, as we moved without pause, just like the Emperor of the Briar who never knew rest," Garfield crosses his arms. "So he is sleeping now and won't wake up in a while."
"I see..." Reinhard says, and an uncomfortable silence falls between them. His gaze felt so heavy that if Garfiel moved carelessly, he wouldn’t know what his fate would b— "I wanted to ask about my father, actually—” Reinhard spoke up, breaking the silence. “I heard there were some issues close to Lady Priscilla's domain that involved Subaru and him."
It takes Garfield a second to realize what he is talking about. His joy over learning the one and only Sword Saint's father was joining Emilia's camp to help Subaru stop the Argyle healer evaporated the moment his eyes actually lied on the man. After a couple days he just became Old Man, a skilled drunkard with a sob story, rather than a member of the family his mother used to read him stories about.
"Issues,” Garfield snorts at Reinhard’s choice of word. “Tha's one way of sayin’ it." He makes a face. "Yeah, I was there too. The Old Man made us go lookin’ for a stupid chalice with the power to cure all sickness, but in the end it's only power w’s turning water into booze. Big ass let down."
Reinhard’s shoulders sag. "So that’s what happened…” Reinhard’s eyes finally looked past Garfiel and looked at the still closed door, an unreadable thought reflected in them. “...I am glad father was with Subaru and you nonetheless. I can't imagine him taking another disappointment well..."
How could any member of the group that went after the dumb cup not be disappointed? The chalice would have been able to cure not only the Old Man’s wife, but the Cap’n too. As the camp’s shield it’s his duty to protect everyone from everything—including hereditary diseases. When the Old Man mentioned the rumors, he was the first to tell Emilia they absolutely needed to go.
Still— the entire conversation leaves a bad taste in his mouth. The Cap’n was already carrying enough on his shoulder, with being the Hero that defeated the Archbishop of Sloth, the White Whale and the Great Rabbit— did he really need to trouble himself with family drama when the man ain’t even dead? “Why?”
Reinhard blinks. “Well, it has been many years—”
“—no, not that.” Garfiel’s scowl grows. “Why do ya need to imagine it? Yar dad’s alive, you could ask him.”
Reinhard just stares, before a bitter smile covers his lips. “Although true, my father doesn’t enjoy my company, so I wouldn’t like to impose myself when unnecessary.”
But he is alive, is what he wants to say. “My mom’s dead,” is what he says instead. Because damn— he saw the Old Man, the even Older Man and him talk during dinner and how Ottobro almost lost his head trying to stop Old and Older from killing each other, right before Priscilla arrived saying this was the most amusing shitshow she had seen in weeks. The Old Man genuinely didn’t want to be with Reinhard and his dad.
But he is alive. All three of them are. They can talk. While Garfiel's mom is dead and gone and he can't tell her how much he loves her. "Just because your father is with us, and the Cap’n is strong enough to carry the weight of yar family drama, doesn't mean he should."
Reinhard's eyes widen again. "I—"
"The Cap’n sleeps longer when he overworks himself," Garfield cuts, his words stronger than any punch he ever did.
And Reinhard's mouth shuts with an audible click, expression shifting into one of horror— as it should.
"He carries everyone's problems on his back— no matter how tired he is...!" He clenches his fists. "The Cap’n is so cool, cooler than the Sage and Reid! But precisely because he is like that is that we need to push ourselves harder. Be the people the Cap’n wants us to be, even if he is too shy to tell us. Because— because...!"
“—will you two please SHUT UP?!" The Cap’n's door parts open with a bang, and the Cap’n appears in the doorway, rubbing his eyes while scowling. “Some of us are actually trying to sleep around here!”
Garfiel rushes back to his room only minutes later, but also doesn't miss Reinhard walking in direction to the Old Man's room rather than the hallway he originally came from.
beta read by @daemonerik
#No Rest For the Wicked#<- click there to see other No Rest asks#I actually learnt how to write Garfiel just for this ask#OP you should be PROUD#I also low-key hate you because i realized i hate his accent as much as i thought i did#It sucks#Im sorry if this ended up being a bit too Reinhard centric for your taste!#I originally wanted to mix this ask with another No Rest Ask but eeeeee#ended up being completely different to what the other person asked#I guess i will have to write yet another later#Not now tho sorry everyone LMAO#Yep Mimi isn't with Garfiel because he is in sleep duty#Which means he doesn't meet his mom nor saves his sibling...#BUT the astrea family talks#ANYWAY#TY @daemonerik for the help with the lore and beta reading this!!!#He literally helped me SO much with Garfiel#HE IS THE BEST#About the crack fics thing:#Glad that you liked A Royal Catastrophe by Scissors!!#If you want more recs in the style of No Rest and Scissors' fic#Youngbaru by petalil is very good#Sword God Commentary made me laugh out loud too but it's very Astrea fam centric and dunno if u like them#There is also my newest crack fic#Re zero#Re:zero#Rezero#Re: Zero#Reinhard van Astrea#Garfiel Tinsel
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normally i am the first person to agree with hating a website/service making a bunch of changes out of nowhere, but the inoreader revamp might actually stop me from switching to freshrss
#original#it looks so much nicer and now the stuff i save to read later is handled way better#they seem to have stolen a lot of the things that made readwise reader tempting to me#they still don't have TTS figured out though
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into the deep end - 30k T orufrey fic, focusing on memory trauma, disability, and romance.
the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the witch.
for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.
the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.
but they were never whole to begin with, were they?
qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.
olly says nothing.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#sorry i wanted to make a new post for my fic since the first illustration is new.#*stands in the middle of a desolate field in the pouring rain* Please Read My Tale...Blease..Oh god please..*collapses to the ground*#someone asked if there's spoilers in it. Um...yes. Sorry...it's about everything#maybe i should describe it more? it's about qifrey becoming more and more disabled - as i feel is his canon trajectory#and both of them processing the choices that have been made. it was necessary for me to explore this in order to fully understand orufrey#and for them to have the cathartic conclusion-that's why this is important to me for my witch hat fanwork making life. this connects it all#and having dived into qifrey's mind and lived through oru's feelings i was able to get to a place that is possible for them.#the hit/kudos ratio is so pathetic idek what happened. ppl opening it realising its long and saving it for later or just bailing lmfao#idek any more i hate advertising my writing i hate trying to get more ppl to read my long fics it's so hard 🥲#i'm so much prouder of this than my art...i was able to sink deeply into the orufrey feelings i had always wanted to fully explore#so. it's there lol.........i reread the date/kiss segment today after trying to forget about it thinking maybe the fic is just BAD lol#and like.....nope! i like it very much and this is what i was trying to get across. and it's always there to be read by anyone who wants to#and i will always remember the bliss i felt while writing when i was just lost in their world and living as them. dear GOD i love them.#i'm grateful to myself that i put in the work and love to make this so that i can always come back to it. i wanna illustrate scenes properly#but i'm never satisfied with drawing things i've written because i just can't capture the vivid experience in my mind. maybe one day.
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i see a lot of opinions around, about death, and why she didn't intervene in dream's imprisonment
and i think a lot of people have trouble reconciling the idea that she does care about him, with the fact that she didn't do anything?
so then you get the theories that she couldn't have saved him (as if burgess was ever a match for the endless, he only got dream because dream was still recovering from burning out 99% of his power in overture), or that she was stuck by the rules of the endless not interfering with each other (that's a whole other convoluted discussion topic)
but i feel like these theories all kinda. misread, who death is. or rather, they sort of assume she's a human being with the same mentality as a human, and not the literal personification of death
of course she cares about her brother. and of course she technically had the power to intervene. but think about her existence. think about the way in which she knows everyone, the life she's lived for billions of years, and the life she knows she'll live until she's the last consciousness left in the universe
she's an inherently passive entity, she has to be. because her entire purpose is to stand there for the end of every life in existence, often horrific and violent and unfair ones, and to tell them that's just the way of things. to ensure that that fate does indeed come to pass. she knows how everyone is going to die and she just has to keep talking to them like she doesn't
when she was younger, it was different. granted, she refused to help dream then too, because (at least according to dream) all the endless were incredibly prideful when they were young, and wouldn't even have tried to help each other. but also, we have her word that at one point her job got overwhelming. the fact that she had to stand by and watch so much tragedy, to ensure it happened, really got to her. and for a while, she stopped. one of the few times if not the only time she has ever made a strong decision in the face of fate - she stopped collecting souls. and that turned out much worse. in order to exist as herself, she had to find a way to not only be okay with who she is, but find meaning in it. the person who would get involved, who would stand up against unfairness, that person cannot be death of the endless
and think about death as a concept, for a sec, not just as a person. death is patient. death will come for everyone in time, but time is meaningless to it. i like this panel, from endless nights, for connecting that with death the person, because she is always there and always waiting (in this story she waits here for anywhere between 10 and 200 years, depending on how you look at it. and she explains in this story that time doesn't really work the same to her as it does to everyone else. time is her father, after all. she can wait. she will always wait.)
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even when she takes human form, like we see in high cost of living, she is the epitome of go with the flow. she just follows where the universe takes her, doesn't try to change anything, just lets her curiosity and love for humanity put her in whatever situation fate decided she should be. and fate (whether that's her brother, the fates, or something else entirely) does play some role in it, because her human form was created with $10.02 in her pocket, which is the exact amount of money she ended up needing to spend that day. and she trusts that she won't need more than that, no matter how many questions are thrown at her about it
which is not an inherently bad thing! because living in the moment means she is so much more alive than her siblings, it gives her the ability to offer so much more empathy towards the mortals she has to spend most of her time with, it makes her in many ways a wonderful person. she's just, not a person of action
death doesn't show she cares by stopping the bad things from happening to you. she shows she cares by being there for you after. by having the patience, despite her busy job, to sit and chat with every single person who's ever lived, and to comfort them in the best way she knows how
which is exactly what she did
#i am very tired rn so hopefully this is coherent#but i've been thinking about this again a lot recently#like. that 'i know' to dream. it's the same way she talks to everyone else#100 years is really not long to her#and she probably knew he'd be okay eventually#or i mean. okay from that anyway#i do have a lot of thoughts about how this applies to the everything in the later story but that is for another post when i have more brain#death of the endless#dream of the endless#the sandman#meta#mine#(to be clear do not stop with the death saves dream aus those are fun to read for the sibling content)#(but yeah avenging angel not usually her style)
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The bertholdt hoover fandom is dying rt if youd wipe the sweat from his brow like if youd give him a warm glass of milk
#coming over here to my fucking reibert saved url from 2014 on my old blog because im going crazy thinking about bertholdt my beloved#my right hand arm. man. my confidant. my best friend. my silly rabbit.#bro my EVERYTHINGGGGGG#i loved him when i thought he did all that unprompted idgaf i will love him to my dying days#i was with him (and reiner) thru the dark ages where they had just fucked off in the manga after unsuccessfully kidnapping eren and they#didnt show up until literal years later. i stopped reading once they left i couldnt go on w/o them!!!!!!#the only info we had was that they predicted the damn weather based off how he slept!!! u have no idea the loyalty i have to this man (and#reiner and annie) but omfg. omfg. its so bad. just watched s2 for the first time in my LIFE and im losing my SHIT#idk if i can keep watching & the only snk i read after they left was their reppearance and then i immediately stopped again when he DIED!!!!#so we'll see if i can cope with continuing on. probably not tbh. anyway i 🩷 bertholdt. most tragic figure ever. right there next to annie –#and reiner. they were literal kids who were sent out to kill thousands and then live amongst the suffering they alone caused –#and had to wake up each day and face their comrades their peers their friends and know they had to keep going and deliver everyone to –#their demise. no one else could ever understand that burden ✋️. meanwhile reiner has a literal mental breakdown from the stress and develops#a dissociative disorder and annie isolates herself and bertholdt has to try to keep it together. the fucking TRAGEDYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! seeing#bertl's face when reiner talks about goinf home. the hope the grief the despair. ☝️ i need to die.#knowing he fcking died is the worst part. take literally anyone else omg theyre ready to go. free my man.
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…
(Zach broke out of the claw machine, and now has to spend more credits to get it repaired. While also funding some side projects and fun events to host in Zone 2. He can’t waste meaningless cash on stuff like more fortune tickets. He needs to sell those. He’s completely fine, and turning to the various books in the library, most of which are display items)
(Does the Bible even exist, even as a remnant as it once was in OFF. I believe it would, explaining why the book is so thin. Lore aside, I’m going to hope nothing goes drastically wrong within the next week. Zach’s a pretty chill guy. He’ll forgive it all due to knowing this is nothing but blog showcasing bizzare alternate universe within a few days ideally)
#thedailyzachaire#day 8#off game#off mortis ghost#off the game#off zacharie#Blog runner here I’m Christian and I will encourage you to read the Bible for its Jesus who’ll save us#This is likely as close as I’m going to get with biblical references. I may make more later down the lines but I’m still learning so yeah#Even without references Zach’s actions will have consequences#And if you wanna mess with him feel free to drop a question or request#day 7#continued#week 1
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