#I mean she has the same dark curls
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probablygayattorneys · 3 months ago
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Consider with me
After the events of Azran Legacy
As part of her efforts to feel like a “normal girl”, Emmy starts dating a psych student
But birth control back then was not nearly as reliable as it is now so she ends up pregnant pretty early into their relationship
She marries him, as that is what you did back then, but then tragically dies in childbirth
He decides to name the baby girl after her mother, but he only knew her as Emmy, so has to take a guess at what her full name was
And thus
Emiliana Perfetti is born
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mywritersmind · 5 months ago
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THE BOOTH - LN4
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summary : The booth. A notorious club in the heart of london, where y/n and lando met again after two years of silence.
listen up : fewtrell!reader. She sits in his lap. no smut, just hot and suggestive. creepy guy in the beginning! Prob my fav short i’ve written omg
word count : 1732
⋆。‧˚⋆
“No.” I giggle out of uncomfortableness at the man getting closer to me.
“C’mon, let me buy you a drink.” the man reeks of alcohol and has fucked up teeth. I’ve seen enough. I pull down the bottom of my mini dress as I stand.
“No.” I repeat, pushing past him. The club is crowded and sticky, I see my friends but a hand around my wrist pulls me back.
“Really? Too good for me?” He scoffs in my face but the next thing I know he’s being pushed away from me.
“She is.” The voice comes from the man in front of me, the guy who pushed this dickhead away. “Piss off. She’s with me.”
The guy seems intimidated enough because he gives me a dirty look and leaves. “Thank y-” I pause when the man turns around.
I pause because the man is my childhood crush, brothers best friend, and fucking formula one driver.
“Lando?” I’m genuinely shocked that the britt I haven’t seen in two years is standing in front of me.
“Y/n!?” He looks me up and down, his mouth open, “Fuck… You look good.” I could say the same for him, in a navy button down, jeans, and his jewelry adorning his hands. He’s ridiculously hot.
I laugh, “Careful Lan, my brother could be lurking.” I switch my weight onto one leg as he smirks.
Max loves Lando. Max loves me.
Therefore, Max HATED the thought of us even speaking. We were all friends in childhood but our teens hit and suddenly I was completely off limits. I’m pretty sure he noticed how much I asked about Lando and swore that he would kill both of us if anything happened.
Someone walks behind him, causing him to get closer, his hand brushing against my hip, “Don’t scare me, yeah?”
I bite my lip at the thought, we start walking across the room, Lando’s hand firmly on me now as he ‘guides’ me. “Don’t worry. Idiots in Monaco… which means we have free rein.”
I see his jaw clench, his drink slide onto his lips again, “I’d like to keep my friendship.”
“I’d like to lose my panties.” I’m quick to reply, messing with Lando used to be my favorite thing.
You see, Lando is Max’s best friend. He feels bad lying and this would definitely be considered a betrayal of trust.
But for me… Max is my brother. I can lie and do whatever I want with no remorse. Lando is something I could do easily and as much as it would make me happy to piss off my brother, Norris has always been that one guy in the back of my mind.
“Christ Y/n. Missed your remarks.” We make it to the wall, it’s a bit quieter over here.
“You mean you missed my flirting?” I look up at him, he just bites his lip, hiding his smile.
“I missed you.” He surprises me with this.
“I missed you too.” I push my hand through my hair, “How’ve you been?”
“Good. Really good.” He smiles big and I know it’s because of his racing.
“Watched your win in Zandvoort.” I sigh, “Simply lovely was brutal.” He rolls his eyes, laughing and leaning his head back on the wall.
“Not you too!”
“It was hilarious! I liked it!” I hit his arm and the way he looks at me… it’s like every emotion that I've tucked away and only opened up in the darkness of my bedroom after midnight, comes out then. “I like this too.”
My hand goes to the back of his neck, playing with his curls that shape his baby mullet.
“Don’t do that.” He shakes his head, his eyes cut into me, his voice weak.
“What?” I say innocently.
“You always do this.”
“Do what, Norris?” Lando never was that much taller than me, but something about the two passed years has changed that.
His tongue runs over his teeth, he’s about to say something but two guys appear next to us, “Mate! We’ve been looking for you!” Another British man speaks, Alex Albon to be exact.
“Found a friend?” Carlos sainz eyes me, dressed in all black.
I smile at the drivers, Lando eyes Carlos. “Max’s sister. Y/n.” They both nod and look much too interested in how Lando says it, “Y/n… this is Alex and Carlos.”
“Pleasure.” I smile wide. I am an F1 fan, it’s a bit weird seeing Lando on the grid but I’ll sit and watch with Max almost every weekend that we’re together.
“Pleasures all ours! I’ve always wanted to meet Lando’s childhood crush!” Lando hits Carlos, making him grab his stomach, “Worth it!” The Spanish man chokes out.
Lando scratches the back of his neck, not looking at me. “Are you here with anyone?” Alex asks me, I knew he would be nice.
“Yeah! I’m not sure where they are but…”
“That’s okay. You have us now!” Alex and I end up getting a drink, Lando stays back with Carlos who’s definitely teasing him.
I get a vodka lemonade and four shots. Alex and I are already best friends and laughing so hard that Carlos and Lando won’t stop asking us what’s so funny.
They don’t know that I showed Alex a photo of Lando and I as smurfs when we were five.
⋆。‧˚⋆
LANDO NORRIS
Describing Y/n is something i’ve done many times. To friends, for context in stories, but if i’d really describe her… I don’t think I would have an ending point.
She’s got long blonde hair. She cut it all off when she was fifteen and I almost fainted when I didn’t recognize her. She loved it.
She’s confident, you can see it in her walk. Her hips sway and the click of her heels is something I'll never forget.
When she talks to you, all attention is on you, her eyes are hazel, appearing brown in the dark but if you get close enough… you’ll see the green.
She never quite had an awkward stage, always been beautiful, probably always will be. I haven’t seen her in years yet she acts like I talked to her yesterday.
Y/n sucks on a lime after her shot, smiling and clapping her hands together, “God, I feel like i’m in highschool!”
I obviously didn’t go to school with her. She’s a year younger and Max would non stop complain about her. She was more popular than him, going out, and was basically friends with everyone.
I remind myself again that Max is the reason why my arm is around the couch and not her waist.
⋆。‧˚⋆
Y/N
“Norris!” I stand, holding out my hand, “Picture time.” I smile as he stands with me.
“What?” Carlos asks.
“Called the booth for a reason, Sainz!” I grin at the boys, gripping Lando’s hand tight and maneuvering us through the crowd.
There’s one photo booth in the back corner of the club. It’s notorious for famous photos and making everyone look good.
I look back at the boys who all look confused. All except Lando.
We came to the booth when Lando was in town from F2, we were 17 and 18. Max had gone off with some girl and we found ourselves in this exact booth.
We swore never to talk about it.
But I’m all for repeating history.
“Fewtrell…” He warns in my ear as we walk to the starred booth.
I glance back, dragging out his name, “Norris.”
He gets in first, unlike us as teens, only one person can fit. I smile and watch Lando’s face drop, I sit down on his lap, “Playing with fire here, love.” he says in my ear.
“I don’t mind getting burned.” He slips two coins in, his hand moving to my waist and holding me steady.
We smile first.
SNAP
I move a bit and give him bunny ears.
SNAP
Lando clears his throat, gripping my skin tighter as he looks at me. I move again, my skirt riding up a bit. “Trying to kill me?”
I smile and kiss his cheek, feeling something hard against me.
SNAP
“Of course.” I look at him, “The memories in here… You remember?”
“I’d be an idiot to forget.”
His hand moves down my hip, closer to my thigh. I look at him again as the photo booth starts up for the second time, “I shouldn’t.” He whispers, my face centimeters from his. I hear the whistles outside.
I shift once more, turning more to him. He groans, his head falling backwards and his eyes closing, “Give me a good reason.”
SNAP
He opens his eyes, meeting mine. I know I've got him. My hand rests on his neck, my rings pressing against his skin. He mumbles something but it’s too loud, “Speak up, Norris.”
“Never spoken.” His eyes flick to my lips, trying to get me to promise this is a secret.
“Never ever.” He leans in closer.
SNAP
“Come on rule breaker… I believe in you.” I whisper in his ear and it breaks him. I’m pulling his head closer to me, his lips on mine, a relief like no other.
He grabs ass, pulling me closer in the tiny space. I slip my tongue in his mouth, whimpering a bit. He bites my lip. I’m melting into him. It’s hot and needy but so much more than I could have ever wanted.
SNAP
Kissing Lando at Seventeen was scandalous and drunken. Kissing Lando at Twenty Three flat out sexy.
“Need you…” He whispers into the kiss which makes me almost come undone right then and there.
Someone bangs on the booth, “Alright Lovebirds!” Lando laughs but I'm the one to pull away.
“I can’t leave this booth.” He says quickly, his face red and sweaty.
“You’ll be fine-” I understand what he’s talking about when I go to leave and something brushes against my leg, “Oh.”
He looks away from me, blushing.
I smile, proud of myself for the boner and his pink cheeks, “Aw come on! I’ll cover you.” I wink and he rolls his eyes, He walks out behind me, his arms firmly on my waist again.
The two drivers grin at us, “You covering a boner?” Carlos starts but gets punched for the second time tonight by Lando. He holds his stomach again, “Still worth it!”
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littlexdeaths · 5 months ago
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eddie munson x shy fem reader
warnings: hope y’all like CHEESE, reader wears glasses
part two | part three
let’s go, don’t wait masterlist
a/n: this is incredibly self indulgent and lame but i hope y’all enjoy xx.
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“You’re staring… again.”
Nancy says under her breath, which has your eyes immediately darting away and back down toward your lunch out of sheer embarrassment.
“I was not staring….” you hiss, picking at the pile of peas on your tray.
“Oh, you soooo were,” she laughs, knocking her shoulder into yours. “Why don’t you just go and talk to him?”
You let out an exasperated breath before glancing over at your best friend. She’s giving you that soft yet encouraging gaze that’s entirely Nancy.
“Why would someone like him be interested in someone like me?”
Your voice is softer, but that underlying fear bleeds through nonetheless.
“I’m just so….” you trail off, chewing on your lower lip. “Boring.”
Your eyes have drifted back over to the hellfire table, where they seem to find themselves almost every lunch period now. Totally entranced by the male sitting at the end of the table.
Eddie Munson, dungeon master and local metalhead. Also the guy you’ve been harboring the biggest crush on since your junior year.
He looks even prettier with the afternoon sun shining through the windows of the cafeteria, highlighting the warm chestnut hue of his fluffy curls. His lips are poised in an annoyed pout, fingers drumming on the table in rapid succession while he listens to Dustin’s nervous ramblings.
“He’s just so— outgoing and doesn’t give two shits what these dipshits around here think of him.”
Your lips can’t help but quirk up into a small smile when you witness him tossing a pretzel at Mike’s head.
“You are not boring,” Nancy sighs, her curls bouncing when she shakes her head. “But you’re not gonna know if something could work out between you if you don’t at least try.”
Your snort has her rolling her eyes, but yours are still transfixed on the boy in question. So much so that you haven’t noticed the way your glasses continue to slip down the bridge of your nose.
“I doubt he even knows my name, Nance.”
When your eyes suddenly catch his chocolatey brown ones, you feel mortified. You’ve been very careful about your…admiring during lunch or in between classes. But Nancy had momentarily distracted you, and now you’d been caught red handed.
Unbeknownst to you, this isn’t the first time he’s noticed your wandering gaze. Soft eyes that are filled with the utmost longing and kindness. Someone with a reputation such as Eddie Munson doesn’t have looks like that thrown his way very often.
So it’s no surprise he’s caught on.
But you don’t seem to notice the way he always glances back once you look away, dark eyes seeking out your figure in the halls. The longing of his own for you to finally meet his gaze. But your nose is either stuck in a book or those pretty eyes are trained on your feet.
It was maddening.
You quickly break his curious stare and jump to your feet, missing the way he shoots up from his own chair. You sling your backpack over your shoulder and leave your tray abandoned.
“I gotta go…I’ll see you later, Nance,” you say before she even has time to protest, keeping your head down as you make your way toward the exit.
Mentally still kicking yourself for being caught gawking at him like some bumbling idiot. But your heart leaps into your throat when you hear the slapping of sneakers on the linoleum behind you.
Before you can even process what’s happening you all but collide into a denim clad chest, gasping softly when his arms slip around your waist to catch you before you almost stumble backwards onto your ass.
“Whoa, easy there,” he chuckles, those same pouty lips quirking up into a lopsided grin. “Didn’t mean to scare ya…”
When he releases you, your whole body deflates— already missing the warmth of his palms. Even if it was only for a fleeting moment.
“Uh…sorry, did you need something?” you ask, unable to hide the confusion in your tone.
He purses his lips, twisting his rings on his fingers in almost a nervous manner.
Why would he be nervous?
“I just had a question is all…” he mumbles, “and honestly, I’ve been meaning to ask you this for a while now.”
And your heart nearly stops when he carefully pushes your glasses back up the bridge of your nose.
“You free tonight?”
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shouyuus · 2 months ago
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18+, yet more vi-shaped brainrot, mndi
yes so we have all considered rugby/college roommate!vi but have we considered waterpolo/childhood bff!vi.
waterpolo!vi who's constantly at the pool, so much so that her sweat even on her gym days smell like chlorine. who will stand in the lockers with nothing but a towel around her waist, water still dripping down her body, tits out, just texting, grinning down at her phone bc she totally doesn't have post notifs on for your instagram... like who does that, right? but damn, you look cute in the little sundress you wore to brunch last sunday with your friends -- she wonders if you'll tell her about it at lunch later today.
waterpolo!vi who's been friends with you since childhood, and you were the one who go her into swimming because that one summer when you were both eight and your mom signed you up for swim-class, you cried for half and hour bc you said you weren't gonna know anyone there. and vi, being the amazing bff and neighbor that she is, of course, volunteered as tribute. she'd never forgotten how much fun it was to play in the shallows with you after the class had ended, splashing at each other, pretending to have a tea-party, sitting criss-cross at the bottom of the sun-soaked water, how you'd pulled your hair out of the swim-cap and let it halo around you in soft, wispy waves.
waterpolo!vi who definitely hasn't told you that she only applied to this uni (on a sports scholarship bc she knew that'd get her in) bc you said it was your top choice. thankfully, it has one of the better waterpolo teams, so you were ecstatic when you found out. who, by then, has definitely figured out that her affection for you is just a bit more than straight up bff status, but she also don't wanna fuck things up with you so she keeps her mouth shut. and really, she asks herself, what's the difference anyway? i mean, you hadn't even blinked when she brought up wanting to sign up for the same freshman dorms. ("of course we are! what, did you think i'd let anyone else be my roommate? gosh, it's like you don't know me at all!")
waterpolo!vi who tries to give you your own space (having practice every single day helps with that tbh), but can't help when her heart skips a lil every time you text her, or every time you post something on social media. she tells herself that it's okay to text back immediately, you've been friends for so long after all, right? that doesn't make her look weird or desperate? right? right.
waterpolo!vi who honestly still gets off to the memory of the one time the pair of you made out drunkenly at a party in high school -- it had been one of those backyard parties where everyone was drinking fucked up jungle juice and things were already a mess when you got there. but you were always down for a good time, and so was she, but somehow, it'd ended up with the pair of you curled up in a dark corner, your legs slung over her lap, her fingers inching up the hem of your spaghetti strap top, all eager, clumsy lips and needy little moans and the taste of your strawberry-mint glitter lipgloss.
waterpolo!vi who definitely tries a bit harder to show off whenever you come to her games, always checking the stands, her face lighting up whenever she spots you in the crowd, waving at her, cheering whenever she makes a goal. afterwards, she'd find flowers tucked into her locker and the rest of the team snickering at how red she's gotten staring at them before she towel-whips the nearest one and tells them all to shut up.
waterpolo!vi who asks you to come to the gym with her, promises it'll be chill and that she won't work you too hard, but nearly short-circuits when you show up in a pair of lululemon shorts and a sports bra, your hair tugged up into a high ponytail, telling her that you got these super cute stickers from a cafe you went to last week and have been meaning to give one of them to her so your water bottles can match. who makes good on her word of not working you too hard, but she definitely suffers in her own workout that day cause she's too busy watching you do squats (she tells herself its to make sure ur form is good but we all know the truth).
waterpolo!vi who freaks out when, on her birthday, the water polo team texts her and tells her to come to the pool house, alone. she thinks it's just another one of their weird pranks, but when the lights click on and you're standing there behind a massive cake with her name hung up behind you in lurid, bright pink blow up balloons, she freezes. and then a there's champagne popping and spraying at her, completely soaking her tanktop, sticking to her skin. you squeal, laughing as you shake a bottle towards her, grinning so wide she thinks her heart might burst.
"surprise! happy birthday!"
"holy shit -- oh yeah! it's my birthday!"
you roll your eyes, dabbing at some champagne that had gotten on your cheek, glancing at a few of the other girls.
"yeah, that's the thing with birthday's vi, they happen every year. and yet somehow every year, i'm the one that remembers its your birthday."
vi just grins, pulling you in to press a fat, wet kiss to your cheek, making you squirm bc she's literally soaked with champagne still, and a few of the girls on the team smirk in her direction when they make eye contact with her, but she only glares at them before going back to watching you fuss about the cake and how many slices to cut it into.
an idea slithers into her head, a truly insidious idea. but fuck it, it's her birthday, and she deserves to have a little fun (and she doesn't think you'll be too mad at her afterwards), so she inches her hand up till it's cradling the back of your head, then shoves your face into the top layer of the cake. you yelp, jerking back with your mouth wide open, icing smeared across your skin. everyone laughs, but vi only grins and wipes a bit of the sweet cream from your cheek, sucking her thumb into her mouth.
"mm delicious, princess. thanks."
you blink at her for a few seconds before sighing, attempting to wipe a bit more of the cake from your face, and falling into a fit of giggles as well.
"whatever, i guess if it makes you that happy," you say, accepting a few napkins from one of the girls on the team. someone else takes over cutting the cake, and a few un-spilled bottles of champagne are already being poured into red solo cups. "i'm gonna go clean up -- be right back."
vi watches you make for the lockers, but someone shoves her towards you. she turns to find several of her teammates motioning furiously in your direction, mouthing go, you fucker, go!
she teeters for a few seconds before jogging after you.
"hey! i'll -- uh -- i'll come with you. since it's my mess too." she laughs, nudging you with her shoulder as she catches up to you.
waterpolo!vi who has to hold her breath when she's helping you wipe cake icing from your face, running a damp towel down your neck, you tilting your head back to give her better access.
"so, how long've you been planning this?" she asks, if only to say something to break the silence.
"not that long -- like a week or so. the cake took the longest -- i wanted to get it from your favorite place on the edge of town, but they don't do deliveries, so i had to go and get it without you knowing, and then figure out where to hide it --"
"oh is that was the 'emergency study sesh' was that you had to run off to this morning was?"
you grin, sheepish as she pulls back to look you over.
"yeah... but i mean -- as long as you liked it! it was worth it, right?"
"oh i loved it, cupcake," she says, casually bopping your nose as she tosses the towel into the big laundry cart for cleaning. she takes a breath, "you're the best friend a girl could ask for, princess."
and she sees it the, the something flicker across your face, a shadow that darkens your eyes for just a second before you look back up at her.
"uhm... about that --"
"hm?" vi turns so fast her neck almost cricks. fuck.
you're staring at her, and she's staring back. there's a moment, like the held-breath between twirling fan-blades.
"i -- uhm -- damn," you look down at your hands, your cheeks suddenly flooding with color, "i had this whole speech prepped and everything --"
vi plops down on locker bench in front of you, tugging your chin back up.
"c'mon, princess. what is it?"
your eyes catch, and vi feels her stomach flip, her heart crawling up the length of her chest to beat, bleating and desperate, at the back of her throat. she can almost taste the metallic thump of it on her tongue.
"i just -- it's --" you twist your fingers in your lap, "i've been meaning to... to tell you for a while but uhm --"
"tell me what?" fuck, her voice comes out so raspy, so needy. she swallows, trying for her usual nonchalance. "you can tell me anything, y'know that right, cupcake?"
you purse your lips, her words seemingly setting you more and more on edge. she leans forward, mesmerized by the pink plumpness caught beneath your teeth. she swipes her thumb along the corner.
"sorry -- missed a spot..." she pulls back, showing you the tiny smear of icing on her finger.
"i like you," you blurt out, the momentum of the words carrying you forward just a bit, and you're gasping when you jerk back, eyes wide, as if you can't believe you'd just said that out loud.
vi freezes.
"oh."
"sorry that was -- i was gonna tell you later tonight -- i had this whole thing planned but -- ugh, there's even a really nice bottle of wine chilling in the fridge --"
but vi's kissing you, and holy shit -- vi's kissing you. her hand at the back of your neck, her other hand cupping your cheek, and she's pressing you back so hard you almost stumble off the bench, squeaking in surprise when she nearly hauls you to your feet to press you up against one of the lockers, cushioning your head with a palm.
"v-vi? mmngh --" you gasp, lashes fluttering as she licks her way down your neck, sucking a hard hickey into the skin there, her teeth biting down as she fists her fingers in your hair.
"holy shit -- sorry -- just -- you have no idea how long i've wanted this --"
she pulls back, her pupils blown, and for a second, you wonder if she's drunk -- you wonder if you're drunk because what is happening right now -- but then you remember that neither of you have had anything to drink yet.
"y-you have?"
vi groans, pushing back in to mouth at your lips, "yeah -- sh-shoulda told you earlier but --" she tugs at the strap of your dress, reveling in the tiny little gasping sound you make as she nips at your collarbone.
waterpolo!vi who can't believe this is happening right now -- really, she might be dreaming, but even if she is, whatever. it's the best dream she's had in ages, having you whimpering against her in this empty locker, your fingers digging into her back as she rucks up your skirt.
"fuck princess, if you're joking about this you better tell me now because --"
"i -- i'm not violet, i swear if you stop --"
she keens when she tugs aside your panties and feels your wetness collect on her fingers. she grins, pulling back just far enough to catch your eyes -- they're glazed over with want, and so, so soft. it almost makes her pause, almost.
she pushes forward, sinking a finger into you, groaning at the tightness. your head lolls back against the closed lockers and vi takes the chance to admire you -- the soft sweep of your lashes as your eyes flutter closed, the round o of your mouth as you moan, the tiny crease between your eyebrows as pleasure paints itself by strokes across the delicate features of your face.
"yeah? that feel good, princess?"
"mm -- mhm --" you nod, fervently, looking back down with half-lidded eyes, reaching down to pull vi back towards you for a long kiss. you lick into her mouth, rocking your hips down against her hand. she hisses against you, her mind nearly fizzing out at the way you drop your face into her shoulder, hanging onto her for dear life as she fucks you on her fingers.
waterpolo!vi who misses nearly her entire birthday party for fucking her new girlfriend to pieces in the lockers. not like her teammates didn't know -- sound really carries in that locker room. she knows. they know. you only find out later when the pair of you come back to the party, red-faced and way too disheveled, vi looking way too smug.
"have a good time in there?" one of the girls asks.
vi shrugs, "yeah y'know. just had to make sure she was cleaned up properly."
another girl rolls her eyes, "yeah right. and im sure all the screaming was because you were just doing such a thorough job, right."
vi smirks, "i try."
waterpolo!vi who makes a point of coming back from swim practice with her hair still wet, a towel draped around her shoulders, baggy shorts around her hips, a tight white tank, and nothing else, just because she knows it makes you pause, knows it sets you off. grins when she comes home to drop a kiss to your cheek and you look up, only to swallow, eyes raking down her body.
"gonna jump in the shower, wanna join me?"
you crinkle your nose, glancing back at the group project you were trying to finish with some classmates on zoom.
"uhm -- sorry guys -- i gotta go."
"wait what -- we're supposed to finish this tonight --"
"sorry, there's uh --" you glance back at vi, who's smirking, leaning in your doorway, an eyebrow hitched, "i think my girlfriend burnt the toast in the kitchen -- sorry, bye!"
you hang up the zoom call even as vi scoffs.
"really? i burnt the toast one time."
she tugs you to her for a kiss as you try to walk by her towards the bathroom. you grin against her lips.
"yeah, and it set off the fire alarm for the entire building, remember?"
"mm. yeah, whatever," she mumbles, busying herself with tugging off your sweatshirt as the pair of you stumble into the bathroom.
"how was practice?" you ask, as vi kicks the door closed behind you, jerking off her tank with one hand, kicking it away on the tiled floor before advancing on you with a predatory glint in her eyes.
"it was fine. we did passing and man-up drills. nothing too bad -- shoulders are sore though."
"yeah? you wanna massage after this?"
"mm that does sound nice," vi says, twisting on the shower, jerking her head for you to step in, climbing in after you with a soft, satisfied groan as the hot water hits her aching muscles.
"but for right now," she says, twisting you around and pressing a quick kiss to your lips, "why don't you get on your knees for me, pretty? there's just one more thing i want you to take care of for me before that massage."
you lick your lips, kiss her back, before dropping to your knees with a sweet smile.
"ready for your post-workout?" you ask, blinking up at her with your big, innocent eyes, even as your fingers inch up her thighs, coaxing them apart. vi groans, leaning back against the cool shower tiles.
"holy fuck yeah."
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katsu28 · 4 months ago
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summer's golden haze - chapter one
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: a small town somewhere in beautiful greece, early morning coffee runs, and the cute boy that you keep running into. (4.8k)
warnings: sort of shy!reader, a bit of swearing, lando being both smooth and a little awkward
a/n: series masterlist coming soon :)
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“That guy is totally checking you out.” 
You reluctantly drag your attention away from the truly addicting pasta you’d ordered to meet your friend’s gaze across the table, slightly suspicious, but also a little curious as to what she’s talking about.
Samira is grinning knowingly at you already, mischievously, like she’s got a tasty bit of information you don’t know about. Probably not tastier than the food in front of you, but your interest is piqued nonetheless. 
“What guy?” You sigh, giving into your curiosity quite easily. She arches a perfectly sculpted brow at you, then tilts her head to the side discreetly, and you follow her gaze towards—
Oh. That guy. 
You saw him on your way to your seat at first, a group of four guys sitting a few tables away in the same patio area of the restaurant, drawing your attention even before you’d sat down. Artfully messy brown curls swept up out of his face, thick dark brows framing bright eyes crinkled with laughter at something his friend had said, you’d felt yourself growing conscious of the man’s existence with just one glance. 
And then his gaze had flicked to your friends passing his table, but more importantly, your own gaze, and you’d nearly stumbled on your own feet.
Your cheeks had grown hot at the intensity of his stare following your path to your seat, not to mention the embarrassment that had flooded your veins at the thought of nearly eating shit in front of this very attractive stranger. 
Had you grown the nerve to look back at him at the time, you would’ve seen his lips quirk into a goofy grin, as well as all the shoving he’d gotten from his friends as they’d caught wind of his unabashed staring. 
Now you’re almost done with your meal, and you could swear you’ve felt him looking at you plenty more times. Not that it mattered at all, because your eyes have been firmly glued to your food and your friends only. 
Okay, so you might’ve hastened a few covert glances over in his direction too, but he’s been chatting away to his friends every time, so maybe you’re just making nothing into something. 
“Don’t even try to hide it, you’ve been making eyes at him too, girl,” Your other friend, Maren, pipes up, elbowing you in the arm playfully. The last of your girls, Camille, nods her agreement, smiling gleefully. “He’s hot.”  
Right, so perhaps not as covert as you’d thought. 
“Dunno what you’re talking about,” You reply, spearing another piece of pasta through your fork. You’re kicked under the table at that moment, hard enough to warrant the whine that escapes your mouth. “What?” Now you're met with three pointed glares your way. “Okay, fine. Yeah, he’s cute.” 
“Go talk to him!” 
“Go flirt with him!” 
“Absolutely not!” You exclaim. Your voice comes out louder than you intend and you duck your head quickly, worried you’d disturbed the peace of the quiet area. “He’s probably got a girlfriend already or something.” 
“If he does, she better dump his ass because he's been giving you fuck me eyes all damn night.” 
“No, he has not,” You hiss, which only gets you yet another look from them. You’re starting to get tired of all these looks, actually. “Has he? I mean—are they? Fuck me eyes?” 
“Oh yeah, he—” 
Camille clears her throat, cutting Samira off. “No, they’re not,” She assures you, placing a hand over yours. “He’s been smiling every time he looks over.”
“Maybe he’s looking at one of you guys?” 
“He’s definitely been looking at you.” 
You bite your lip, nose scrunching skeptically. You haven’t really been the subject of any guy’s attention before, let alone one as handsome as this one. You’ve learned it’s better not to get your hopes up when it comes to certain situations. This seems like one of them. “Are you sure?” 
“If I’m wrong, I’ll give you back your share of the villa rental.” 
“Can I get that in writing, or…?” 
Before any of them can come up with a smart remark, a plate is placed into the center of the table, on which is a large square of baklava, light and flaky with that sweet, sugary filling spilling out the sides of the piece that almost makes your mouth water. You’d seen it in the dessert section of the menu earlier, but had decided against ordering it in favor of trying an appetizer instead. 
“Oh, excuse me? We didn’t order this,” Maren speaks up, looking up at the waiter. 
He does a half turn, sweeping an arm in a vague direction. “It is from the gentleman in the blue shirt.” 
You follow his gaze, and fuck, your heart skips a beat in your chest, because it’s him. It’s the same guy you’ve been drawn to all night, and he’s actually looking right back at you this time. His hand comes up in a wave, then back down to his side almost immediately, like he’s worried about it seeming too eager, before settling with a reserved nod. All the while, he’s still got that smile gracing his face that makes your stomach flip flop. 
“He sent over a dessert?!?! I am so keeping that money, girl,” Camille hums, picking up her fork to dig in while Samira and Maren voice their agreement. 
You, on the other hand, well…you’re not sure what to think. You appreciate the gesture, but you're also confused. Why did he send something over? What did he want? 
It doesn't occur to you that he’s truly taken an interest in you until you're huddled outside with your friends talking next steps of the night. Whether you want to keep exploring this new place, or call it a day and go home. You’re firmly on the latter’s side because you're tired. But you’ll go along with whatever is decided. 
The guy and his friends have coincidentally left the restaurant at the same time as you did, judging by the sudden commotion that erupts behind you. Like a moth drawn to a flame, your gaze lands on him yet again, only this time, you actually lock eyes with him. Something jolts through you, something electric up your spine like a tiny shock. Something you’ve never felt before. You shove the foreign feeling deep down, no matter how much you’d like to explore it. 
He looks away, teeth sunk into his bottom lip to quell the grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, and you avert your wandering eyes too, before anyone else notices. Evidently you’re a little too slow, because all three of your friends catch on instantly. 
“Go talk to him already.” Camille says matter-of-factly. 
“No, I—what do I even say?” 
“Maybe hello would be a good start?” 
You press your lips together, unimpressed, and you get a snicker in return, something about how you're not asking for his hand in marriage, you’re just trying to make conversation. It’s not that you don’t want to talk to him, it’s that you’re not exactly sure how to approach it. You’ve already convinced yourself of the worst, but to possibly have it play out in real life is a tangible fear of yours, and always has been. 
One of your girls (you’re willing to bet more money it’s Maren) gives you a not so gentle shove towards him, as does one of his friends over in his group. Now you’ve got no choice. You meet each other in the middle, just looking at each other for a few moments. It’s awkward and you have half a mind to turn and go, but then he speaks. 
“Hey,” He says. 
“Hi,” You reply shyly, shifting on your feet nervously. He shoves both hands into his pockets. He looks a bit nervous too, which does a significant wonder to calm you. “Thank you for the baklava. It was delicious.” 
“Yeah, of course. Glad you guys liked it. Figured you can’t go wrong with a classic.” He bobs his head, shoulders creeping up towards his ears in a shrug before dropping back down. “I’m Lando, by the way.” 
Lando. It’s not a name you’re expecting, but it suits him well. 
He sticks his hand out almost instinctively, like he’s been conditioned to do so. Maybe he has, considering the aura of professionality it gives off when you do shake his hand. 
His palm is smooth and warm against yours, long fingers curling around your hand like the sincere smile that curls his lips as you tell him your name in return. Dimples bracket his mouth on both sides. 
The handshake almost lasts a little too long for two people who’ve just met literally a few moments ago, as does the way his eyes linger upon yours. 
Even in the dark of the night, illuminated only by the warm glow of the lamps above you, you can see him much better up close. His sunkissed skin does little to hide the flushed pink on his cheeks that travels down to his chest, disappearing under the generously unbuttoned blue linen. You feel exposed under his intense gaze, looking back at those mesmerizing eyes. Blue, green, gray—maybe a mix of all three, you’re not sure, but you can’t help but want to figure it out. 
Then you remember that you don’t know this guy at all, and it brings you back to reality. 
“Lando, like…the guy from Star Wars?” You ask. It breaks the invisible tether between the two of you and he smiles, laughs a little bit too. 
He shrugs casually. “Not according to my mum and dad, but I do get that a lot.” 
“You must get tired of hearing it from people then.”
His head tilts to one side, smile going endearingly lopsided. “Depends on the person. Like, I didn’t mind when you said it just now.” You’re not sure how to respond to that, so you just smile, and he takes your reaction in stride, moving on. “Are you guys from around here, or…” 
“No, actually, we’re—um, we’re just here on holiday.”
“Oh, same! Yeah, we’ve been here a few days now, it’s been great. Is this your first time in Greece?” He asks, smile turning warm. You nod. “Have you checked out the local market yet?”
“Can’t say we have yet, no. We just got in the day before last, so…still figuring out our footing first. But I’ll keep it in mind, thank you!” 
Lando inhales sharply, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Hey, y’know, if you want, maybe we could—” 
“Oi, Lando! Let’s go, mate!” 
He glances back over at his friends, one of whom is waving for him to return to his group rather wildly, before turning back to you. Whatever he was about to say is lost now, because he shrugs loosely. “Guess that’s my cue,” He sighs. Then his gaze softens, smile turning a little hopeful. “Will I see you around again? Small town and all.” 
“Uh…I dunno. Maybe, if it’s meant to be.” You have to try with all your might not to take the statement back, even though you really, really want to. 
If it’s meant to be—who the fuck says that? Like fate has anything to do with this miraculous interest Lando seems to have taken in you. If you were him, you’d find your words quite off putting. Instead, he smirks, crooked and cute. 
“Meant to be,” He repeats, eyes twinkling with amusement. “Yeah alright, I’ll take my chances. Have a good night.” 
You bid him a soft goodnight, barely able to stifle the giggle that spills from your mouth when he nearly trips over the cobblestones on his way back to his friends. He’s awkward, you think, but still confident. It’s cute. 
Lando stays rooted in your mind the rest of the night, all the way up until you’re lying in bed, waiting for sleep to take hold of you. It’s weird to think this much about a guy you’ve just met, a guy who you’ve only had one conversation with and have left things up to chance in terms of seeing him again. 
-------
You’re the first one awake this morning, roused from your sleep by bright sunlight pouring through the window, even through the curtains. Contemplation of going back to sleep crosses your mind, but it’s no use. You’re up now, so you might as well make the most of your early morning. 
You love your friends dearly, but some alone time sounds like heaven right about now. There’s a coffee spot not far from where you’re staying that you remember seeing on your way in that seems like a perfect match to your solo walk, so you head there. You’ll be a nice friend and bring coffee home for when they eventually wake up too. 
After dropping them a text letting them know you’ve gone out, you set off. The walk back into town is short but serene, a welcome change from the hustle and bustle of your daily lives, and a reminder of why you’d all decided to vacation in this particular region of Greece in the first place. 
Someone calls out something that sounds like your name before you can step into the shop and you pause, casting a glance around to see if your ears might be playing tricks on you. You’ve only been here a few days, and the only other person who knows you other than your friends is…Lando. 
You squint a little harder to see through the glare of the sun, and lo and behold, there he is, hands linked behind his head. The grin that lifts your face is almost embarrassing, or would’ve been had Lando not been so eager upon seeing you wave at him. 
He’s clad in athletic shorts and a cutoff tee that shows off muscles you’re trying your very hardest not to stare at as he makes his way closer, curls tucked away in a baseball cap pulled low on his head. Headphones dangle from around his neck, and he’s panting, chest rising and falling heavily very clearly once he’s stopped in front of you. 
“Hey, good morning! I thought that was you,” He breathes, attempting to catch his breath. “Early riser too, I take it?” 
“Honestly, not usually! The sun decided I would be today, though, so…here I am.” 
“Here you are. Guess it was meant to be then, huh?” He chuckles, reaching up to flip his cap backwards. If you thought he was tan the night you met, he’s even tanner in the sun, bronze skin stretching over sinewy muscle that flexes as he sweeps a hand through his hair before tugging it back down in one smooth motion. “Doing a coffee run?” 
“Yeah, I’m the only one of us awake at this hour so I figured I’d bring them back a little something.” 
“You’re a saint. I’d let my mates suffer if it were me,” Lando snorts. 
You shrug. “Guess that’s the difference between the two of us.” 
“Yeah?” He hums, looking amused. “What else is different between you and me?” 
“Well, first of all, I would never be on a run at eight in the morning. Is someone punishing you, or is this a self-inflicted torture type thing?” 
That gets another laugh out of him, shoulders shaking with mirth. “Gotta keep in shape or my trainer might try to kill me with workouts instead.” 
“You’re an athlete?” You pry, intrigued. He looks the part, you think. Lean but not skinny, strong but not massively built. A runner, maybe? 
Lando freezes a split second, rocks from foot to foot, scratching at his nose. “Kind of, yeah.” 
“What’s your sport?” 
“Uh…golf. It’s more like a hobby than anything else.” 
“Golf,” You repeat, an amused smile poking at the edges of your mouth. “Can’t say I know a thing about it.” 
“Oh, it’s definitely something else, for sure. Super intense stuff, really grueling.” His words say one thing, but he’s grinning like he’s pulling your leg, lip pulled between his teeth in that same way as last night, nose scrunching adorably as he bobs his head quickly to further sell it. 
“Sure, if you say so. But d’you think your trainer would get mad if you cut your super intense training short to grab a cup of coffee with a friend?” 
You’re almost expecting him to say no, but Lando perks up instead, eyes crinkling happily at the corners. “Not at all. Shall we?” 
Over coffee, you find that Lando is an excellent conversationalist—funny and a good listener, an even better storyteller. He asks about you without seeming pushy or prying, and because of that you feel yourself relaxing a bit in his presence. Opening yourself up to the possibility of a good thing with him, no matter how short or fleeting it may be, whether it’s friendship or something more. 
A few weeks of summer in a place you've never been with a boy you don’t know is the time to be a little bolder. Chances are you’ll never see Lando again after this trip, so why not loosen up just a little bit? 
It’s only when more people start to trickle into the shop and you start to notice Lando’s eyes shifting over your shoulder more that you realize you’ve been here with him for a while now. And judging by the dozens of missed calls and texts from all three of your friends on your phone when you go to check it for the first time since you’d left, you’ve been gone a lot longer than you said you’d be. 
You know them well enough to know that they’re not above calling the local police to send out a search party for you if you don’t find your way back soon. 
“Friends wondering where you are?” 
You nod, sending a quick message that you are indeed alive and not kidnapped like they feared, before tucking your phone away again. “Guess I better get them their coffees for sure now, or else they might not let me back in the house.” 
“Lemme buy it for them,” He offers sincerely, offering you a lopsided grin. You shake your head rapidly at the suggestion, but he continues, “I’m the reason you’ve been gone so long, the least I can do is buy them drinks. Call it an apology for making them worry, yeah?” 
“You really don’t have to, Lando.” 
“I know. I want to,” He insists, looking truly genuine. First dessert last night, now coffee today. You have half a mind to push back a little more, but you get the feeling Lando is as persistent as he is handsome, so you taking a firm stance on something like this seems like a moot point. Giving in, you nod, and he mirrors it, looking proud. 
He lets you take the lead in reciting your friends’ orders once you’ve made your way back over to the front counter, stepping forward with a hand to the small of your back to pay for the drinks before you have any bright ideas to pull one over on him and pay for them yourself. 
The barista smiles politely, pen hovering above a cardboard cup. “And a name for that?” 
Lando casts a furtive glance around the area before leaning in and saying his name quietly, as if he’s worried he’ll run into someone who he doesn’t want to see. You notice, but don’t really pay it any mind. You understand far too well not wanting to talk to someone you're unprepared for. 
Soon enough Lando’s got the drinks in hand and you’re back outside, and he’s smiling again. You’ve noticed he does that a lot when he looks at you. You’re sure you’re the same way with him. 
“My mates and I, we’re planning on having a little barbeque at our villa tomorrow night. You should come,” Lando says encouragingly, tilting his head to the side. When your brows raise in surprise, he hastily adds, “And your friends too, obviously. We’d love the company.” 
“Ah! Um, I dunno. Wouldn’t wanna crash your thing.” 
“You wouldn't be. Seriously, come hang out. We’re fun, I promise!” 
“I just—I forget if we’ve got plans, that’s all.” You’re not lying when you say it, you truly forget if you’re free tomorrow night. Most of it stems from your awful memory, but a small part of it attributes to how your brain kind of stops working properly around Lando. 
“Right, well, you figure that out, and if you find you’ve got a free evening,” He balances the drinks deftly in one hand, the other fishing his phone out of his shorts pocket and swiping at the screen briefly before holding it out to you, “text me, let me know.” 
You’re not sure where you find the boldness to tap your phone number into his contacts, but you do it with confidence, saving it under your name and a smiley face. 
“Cute.” Lando smirks, chuckling as he sends a simple hi so you've got his number too. “Now, I believe these are yours, and…maybe I’ll see you tomorrow? If it’s meant to be.” 
You smile at the mirroring of last night’s words from him as you situate the cardboard tray in your own arms. “Maybe.” 
The smile hasn’t left your face even by the time you arrive back home, because you’ve been thinking about Lando the whole way. For a stranger you’ve met only yesterday, he’s sure been occupying a lot of space in your mind. You aren’t entirely sure how to feel about it. 
You’re already prepared for the berating you’re about to get as you close the front door behind you carefully, making your way to the kitchen.
“Where the hell have you been?” 
You look up to see all three of your friends sitting around the kitchen table, and none of them look particularly happy. You smile innocently, holding up the cardboard tray of drinks up as a peace offering. “Coffee?” 
“It better come with an explanation.” 
Nodding vigorously, you dole out each drink to your friends. “It does, I swear. I didn’t just disappear, I ran into—” 
“Hold the fuck on. Why does this say Lando? Why is that man’s name on my cup—” 
“Oh my god, you did not get coffee with him without telling us!” 
“You bitch!” 
That’s how you end up telling them the whole story—running into him in town, talking for ages, and that brings you to your next point. 
“We don’t have any plans for tomorrow night, do we?” 
“There’s the vineyard tour in the afternoon, but that should end around five. Why?” 
“Lando invited us to a barbecue at his villa,” You say quickly. That gets their attention immediately, all of their eyes widening in the same shocked looks. None of them answer your question though. “Is that…something we’d be interested in?” 
Samira is the first to snap out of it, mouth curving into a playful smirk. “Invited us, or invited you?” 
“Definitely just her.” 
“Whatever! Do we wanna go or not?” You grumble, doing your best to fight the grin threatening to overtake your face. The thought of him wanting to spend time with you brings you a teensy bit of satisfaction. 
“Of course we’re going!” 
After they’re done poking fun at you, you’re able to take a moment to top out a quick message to Lando. That barbecue invite still up for grabs? 
You're not expecting an immediate answer, but your phone dings with a text back before you even set it down. 
Lando: Of course. Plans fell through? 
You: seems like you’ve really made an impression on my friends 
Lando: Not sure whether to be scared or flattered…
You: your guess is as good as mine! we’ll find out tomorrow :)
Lando: Brb gotta go call my lawyer and update my will 
“You’re texting him right now, aren’t you?” 
You look up from your phone to see Camille leaning in the doorway to your room, a soft, knowing smile on her face. “Yeah, he—uh, he says he’s looking forward to meeting you guys again.” She comes to sit beside you, looking like she wants to talk about something. You set it aside, head tilting in a silent question. 
“Do you think you’ll stay in contact with Lando after we leave?” 
“I’m not sure. Haven’t really thought about it all that much, to be honest.”
If you do think about it, you haven’t even known Lando for more than a day. You’ve only just met him yesterday, seen him twice, one of which was completely spur of the moment. So what if that spur of the moment encounter was the most connected you’ve felt to someone in a long time? 
You don’t know him, and chances are, he’s not looking for anything serious. You don’t even know if you’re looking for anything serious. 
“It’s okay if you want to.” 
“I shouldn’t want to,” You say. It feels like you’re trying to convince yourself more than anything. You look to Camille for an answer, but she just pats your hand. “Right? I’m never gonna see him again, so I shouldn’t get attached.” 
“You don’t know that for sure, do you?” 
“I guess not. It feels scary, though. Opening yourself up to something when you don't know what’ll happen.” 
Camille hums, a placating, even comforting sound to soothe your worries. She’s always been pretty good at getting you to see the brighter side in things. “There’s fun in that too. Being spontaneous, surprising yourself. You never know, Lando could be just the thing you need, the one you didn’t know you were looking for. And if not, you don’t have to see him again. A win-win, I’d say.” 
She leaves you alone to your thoughts after that, left to ponder what exactly it is you want. It might be stupid and entirely over-optimistic of you, but Lando has already pulled you in. You’re not sure what it is about him. He makes you want more, want to know more. 
Whatever happens will happen, and if things don’t work out…well, Camille is right. You never have to see Lando again. 
His name flashes across your screen later in the night, right before you’re about to go to sleep. You’ve been texting back and forth all day, but this one is different. He’s video calling you right now. 
You stare at his name for longer than you should, finger hovering over the answer button a few beats before pressing it. His face pops into view once the call connects. Like you, he’s sitting in bed, leaned up against the headboard, cozied up in a soft looking jumper. He looks like he’s moments away from drifting off, but he called you, so he must want to talk. 
“Hi,” You say softly. 
“Hey, you.” He smiles, warm and sleepy and all squinty in a way that makes you want to crawl through the screen and tuck him into bed with a kiss to his forehead. “You must be tired.” 
“Eh, I’m alright. Why?” 
“‘Cause you’ve been running through my mind all day.” 
You let out a wildly unappealing snort of laughter at his poor attempt at a pick up line. “That’s terrible! Oh my god, that was awful, Lando, seriously.” 
“No?” His smile grows giddy, shoulders shaking with his chuckles. “Yeah, it was pretty bad, wasn’t it? Got you laughing though.” 
Conversation falls into the same easy nature as this morning, like you’ve known him for ages. He makes you laugh until your ribs hurt, smile until your cheeks feel the same. It still amazes you just how comfortable you feel around him, as someone who usually takes a while to warm up to people. 
Maybe you should take it as a sign. 
A jumble of muffle voices offscreen some time later makes Lando squint. “Hang on, I’ll be right back. Don’t hang up. ” He lets the phone drop onto the bed, checking once to make sure you’re still there before disappearing from sight. 
You hear his footsteps fade, then more voices you can’t quite make out. Someone laughs off in the distance, and then he’s back, resituating himself with the remnants of an amused grin on his lips. 
“Everything okay?” 
“My mates are yelling at me to turn off the light, so I’d better go,” He sighs goodnaturedly, lips turning down into a frown. Then he yawns widely, and you realize how late it’s gotten since you’ve picked up his call. Losing track of time when you’re talking to Lando seems to be a recurring theme. “I’m glad you’re coming tomorrow.” 
Your breath catches a little in your chest, both at his words and the way he’s looking at you through the screen as he says it, nothing but genuine. “Me too.” 
You’re starting to think this whole try not to get attached thing is going to be much harder than you thought. 
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luveline · 4 months ago
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Can you write where the reader walks into James room and he's crying and its the first time shes seen him cry so she comforts him pls xx
thank you for your request! fem, 1.2k
James’ house is a sanctuary to everyone he’s ever met. There are scratches on the wall by the door where Sirius has thrown it open, long deep welts of ruin under a drunken hand, two best friends laughing to the bedroom where they share a bed. You’re used to Sirius by now, an extension of James you love and make room for, but waking up to the heir of the most noble family in London sleeping off a hangover with his face buried in your boyfriend's shoulder still surprises you. His snores never change. 
Then there’s Remus, the sweetheart, tracking dirt into the living room because he so often forgets he’s wearing shoes, distracted by a book or a thought he shares in half smiles knowing James will listen. 
You’re everywhere. In photos like the rest of them, in your coat on the hook, your clean washing on the stairs, your shoes in the bedroom cupboard. There’s a red smudge of your lipstick on the wall at the top of the stairs where James wiped your bottom lip and then used the wall to hang over you, kissing. He keeps meaning to paint over it, you know. He says the same thing every time you bring it up, a laughing, “I’ll get to it, you thing!” 
You’re used to smiles and sounds here. You aren’t acquainted with this. Sniffles from the bedroom, long, stringing gulps of air and the answering sob. It makes your chest flip. James hasn’t cried in front of you in a year of dating and two years of knowing him. James doesn’t even get pissed off unless it’s for somebody else. Something awful must’ve happened. You rush to find out what. 
In the bedroom, James is just sitting there falling apart. Just, sat on the bed, his head in his hands and his shoulders shaking like an awful jagged up and down, like he’s hurting; the shock of it is in every inch of movement. James is beautiful in everything, skin and hands and dark, dark hair, but he’s hurting now as he drags fingers wet with tears through frizzing curls. He must have heard you coming up but he can’t stop, lifting his chin, an apology twisted in his mouth that he doesn’t say aloud. 
“Lovely, what happened?” you ask, sure you’re gonna fall through the floor. “What happened? What–”
You aren’t giving him time to answer. You need to know. 
“No, it’s alright–”
“It’s not alright,” you say, standing in front of him with stiff arms. “What happened, James?” 
“It’s okay.” He cries a little, sniffs, looking up at you with swimming eyes. “It’s alright, I’m just– it’s just– well, it’s just everything, I suppose, but it’s…” He looks down, his mouth twisting again in an apology you don’t want to take. He shakes himself. 
“James, what’s everything?” 
“Silly stuff.” James takes your hand. Telling, that a boy who’s spent his entire life looking after the people he loves would attempt to comfort you with tears still hot on his cheeks. 
You look down at his long fingers. 
James plays piano. He learned your favourite song for you before he’d ever asked you out, and when he’d played it for you, he’d played so beautifully you felt sick for days, felt sick every time you thought of him, but in the moment he’d laughed at your teary eyes and pressed a quick kiss to the top of your head. Lovely girl, he’d said, laughing, I won’t play it again if you’re gonna cry like that.
You figure he must want comfort as he gives it, wrapping your arms around him to steer him toward a soft kiss, his hair like strands of satin under your lips. “Nothing that upsets you like this could ever be silly.” 
He pushes you away. Not without love, but pushing away regardless. He stands in the space you leave and wipes his cheeks with the backs of his hands. It’s nearly like he’s dancing. Just the way his arms move. But then he drops them and turns away from you, your heart plummeting to your stomach. 
“James.” 
“It’s not like that. I was hoping I’d be done before you got home. Should we go out for dinner or something?” 
“James–”
“What?” he asks, smiling, at odds with his sad eyes. “Love, it’s really fine, I’m fine.” Love. You let out a long breath, chest a cold ache slowly warmed by his gaze. There’s care for you in every eyelash, but it still shocks you when he hugs you. “It’s okay. Sorry I scared you.” 
James. “Fucking hell, Jamie, I’m not scared, I want you to tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it for you.”
He chokes on breath. “I’m fine,” he says. He doesn’t believe it himself, a crack running straight through his words. “Sorry,” he says, sickly, kissing the top of your head as you’d kissed his. 
Clearly he’s not going to let you be the one domineering the situation, but that’s okay. He can kiss your head and hold you on the edge of too tight. You slip a hand under the edge of his T-shirt to stroke his back, until your hand is numb to it, and he’s sagging against you heavily. 
“You’re really not fine, I can see that much.” 
He’s quiet, but you can tell there’s something he wants to say. 
“But that’s okay,” you say, hand clasping his back . You pat a steady rhythm there as he sighs. “It really is. I don’t know why you think you have to be finished crying before I get home, but that’s not true. You can cry. You can cry buckets. Please don’t pretend you’re not upset because of me, I’d feel so bad.”
Something hot and wet touches your forehead. “M’sorry.” 
“Nothing to be sorry for.” You pull back to pat his cheek. 
James stares at you. Tears well in usually warm eyes and get caught in the wet hedge of his lashes. You try to wipe them away before they can fall —you don’t wanna see your sweetheart crying. 
“Don’t frown,” he says softly. 
“I’m trying not to. Here, let me,” —you wipe his cheeks with your sleeve, voice a muttering thing as his skin pinks beneath your touch— “just get that there for you. Your eyes are red, Jamie, I hope you haven’t been upset for too long.” 
“No, uh. No, not too long.” 
“Can you please tell me what’s wrong? I’d like to know.” 
James’ face presses to your neck in seconds. He pauses, and then he sobs. That’s more like it. You stand there in the bedroom until your legs are stiff, and then you only move to lay him down in bed to be your little spoon. “It's not fine,” you say, your arm around him, the other playing in the swirl of his parting, “but it will be. You’re really too handsome for all these tears.”
“You think I’m handsome?”
He sounds sweet when he’s trying to make you laugh. You reach over him to kiss his hot cheek.  
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ichorai · 1 year ago
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wool ; coriolanus snow.
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pairing ; young!coriolanus snow x capitol!reader (gender-neutral)
synopsis ; when you laughed, airy and light and reminiscent to that of wind chimes, coryo wished he could bottle up the sound and keep it as his, only his.
words ; 1.5k
themes ; mild fluff/angst, slightly suggestive
warnings / includes ; set before events of tbosas so no actual spoilers, making out, clemensia appearance, mentions of other characters, coryo's paranoia, he's not exactly toxic yet but the seeds are very much planted, i tried to keep him in character as best i could, let's pretend the academy also serves dinner
a/n ; this man has consumed me body and soul. this fic was inspired by the song wool by flatland cavalry on the movie soundtrack! let me know if you guys would like a second part :)
series masterlist. main masterlist.
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Coriolanus Snow was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. He bore an aristocratic last name—yet you noticed that his dress shirt’s buttons seemed to be various different shades of black and slightly misshapen. His voice, so sweetly saccharine, charming, seductive—would whisper falsities like it was second nature. He would often claim that he wasn’t hungry, but you’d catch the longing glint in his pale irises as he eyed the steaming bread rolls Sejanus slathered with generous helpings of butter. 
Control. That was all he needed. 
It crumbled, ever so slightly, when you nudged your slice of apple pie in his direction. His eye twitched, and you pursed your lips, pulling your plate back to you. You ate quietly, and Coryo stared at you all the while, as if he were mentally dissecting your mind—studying you. 
You knew. It was all too clear, even if he wouldn’t tell you. And if he wouldn’t tell his closest friend—or, the closest thing he had to a friend, the two of you certainly did things that friends wouldn’t do—he most definitely wouldn’t let it slip that he was financially strapped to anyone else.
That same day, he met you in the back of the library. The two of you were supposed to be studying history—Professor Demigloss was one of the nicer teachers at the academy, but that didn’t mean he was any less strict with grades. And neither you nor Coryo could afford slipping now. Not if you both wanted to get into university. Being on top meant that there was only greater distance to fall.
But there were… distractions.
Mainly, his foot knocking against yours under the table. Your hand over his jostling knee. His teeth digging into his bottom lip. When you shifted so that your thighs brushed against his, the books spread out over the table were entirely forgotten.
He pushed you against the bookshelves a mere second later, the wood digging into your back uncomfortably, and kissed you until you grew dizzy. You were a welcome distraction—he could taste the apples on your tongue. The way you snaked your arms around his neck, toying with his pale blonde curls, pulling him closer until his body slotted against yours just perfectly—clicking into place like a pair of magnets facing opposite directions. It was desperate and heavy and he could only barely pull away to inhale sharply before cradling the base of your head to tilt your jaw back and kiss you even harder. Coryo swallowed any muffled whimpers that slipped from you when his free hand traveled lower.
Lower, lower, dangerously low—
When Clemensia’s voice echoed through the library in search of her lab partner, the two of you sprang apart, gasping for air.
She rounded the bend, and her dark eyes landed on the two of you. Keen, observant, narrowed. Coriolanus was flushed, hair mussed, lips swollen, chest rising and falling erratically. You were looking anywhere but the two of them, smoothing out your clothes and wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.
“Oh! I guess I’ll just have to find another time to bother you, Coriolanus,” she tittered, sickly sweet. She tilted her head with a tempered smile. “What’re you guys studying?”
Snow rolled his eyes in exasperation. “History,” he said. Curt, simple.
“Right.” She eyed you curiously. When she spoke again, it was directed more to you than him, sounding uncharacteristically void of frigid scorn. “I’d be careful if I were you. You sure he’s not just sleeping with you because you’re the top of the class?”
You stiffened, and Coryo bristled. 
“I’ll be fine, Clem. See you tomorrow.” 
There was another beat of terse silence. Her eyes darted warily between the two of you, and she whisked away in a flutter of red and black.
You blew out a breath. Your mouth tingled with the phantom memory of his lips planted over yours, and your cheeks flushed with heat. The two of you sat back down, both quiet. You worked in fluid tandem with each other, as you always did. His hands kept to himself this time. 
“I’m not using you,” he whispered, eventually. “It’s not like that.”
“I know,” you replied hesitantly, testing the waters. “It’s not like you’d need to. Your grades are just fine as is.”
The two of you kept working until your fingers cramped with overuse and his head pulsed with the beginnings of a migraine. 
“Dinner?” you asked once the clock struck six, nudging him. “I think they’ll be serving mashed potatoes today.”
His stomach clenched at the thought of warm food. Control.
“Sure,” he replied coolly, flicking his books closed and gathering up all the papers to stuff into his bag. “I’m sick of mashed potatoes, though.”
You shot him an incredulous smile, brows quirking up. He was lying, but you didn’t know. “Not even when it’s seasoned with roasted garlic? A dash of the freshest of herbs?”
The blue of his eyes gleamed when they bore into yours. “Not even then.”
“You’re a strange man, Coriolanus Snow.” Your lips twisted downward, but it was more of a smile than a frown. When your eyes darted below to glance at his school uniform, you couldn’t help but notice the unironed creases in the carmine fabric. One of the buttons—the very top one—was oddly shaped and a different color from all the rest. It reminded you of his dress shirt. You quite liked that dress shirt. He looked handsome in it, but you chalked it up to his uncanny ability to look handsome in just about anything.
Your head tilted to the side, molten eyes fixed on the button. You knew. He knew that you knew. Panic seized in his chest, an irrational clawing sensation searing within his lungs. Would you tell the rest of the class? What would you say to them? That he was living as filthily as a District boy? That he skipped meals because he couldn’t afford them? That his cousin mended his clothes for him?
But your frown-smile deepened. Fondness stained your expression, clear as day. Coriolanus found himself surprised, as he often did around you. 
“I love your buttons, by the way,” you mumbled, reaching out to trace it with a finger. He held his breath on instinct. “Is it a stylistic choice? Having them all irregular like this?”
Stylistic. Coriolanus almost laughed.
“Mhm. It’ll be in fashion one day. I’m just ahead of the trends,” he murmured charmingly. A bluff.
When you laughed, airy and light and reminiscent to that of wind chimes, Coryo wished he could bottle up the sound and keep it as his, only his. 
“Maybe I’ll start wearing mismatched buttons now, too. Rebel against uniformity.” You stood up from your chair as you spoke, not catching the way Coriolanus’ expression faltered momentarily with your last three words. It was a joke, he had to remind himself. Just a joke. “Come on. Let’s go have dinner. I’m starving.”
He jerkily stood up. Grabbed your hand just because he could, fingers folding over your wrist. He could feel your pulse, thumping quicker and quicker. You regarded him curiously. Snow’s remaining spindly hand cradled your face and he stepped closer, intuitive eyes roaming over your face, wondering just how much of you was real. How much of you was lying, just as he was?
His lips fell over yours again. This time, the kiss was sweeter. Slower, more languid. His nose brushed over your cheekbone, warm to the touch. You hummed pleasantly against him, before placing a hand flat over his chest—over the crooked button—and pulled away with a dazed smile. It felt dangerously good that you hadn’t tugged your hand out of his grasp yet. His grip tightened in a near possessive manner.
As the two of you began walking out of the library, Coriolanus couldn’t help but think back to your hyperbole—about how far from starving you truly were. You wouldn’t ever know, not when your family was the very epitome of Capitol wealth. But he was glad he wasn’t the only one lying, for once, even if your lie was merely an inflation of the truth. 
After dinner, Coryo worked off the top button of his uniform with repeated tugs to the threads, pulling apart Tigris’ handiwork. He slid it over the table to you, watching the way your countenance softened in endearment. He kissed you again in the dark hallways outside the cafeteria, finding it difficult to get your lips to melt away from your tightly-stretched grin.
He walked home with a mirroring smile and a missing button that night. One less piece of the wolf’s sheeply clothes.
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torpublishinggroup · 9 months ago
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This advertisement is for Can’t Spell Treason Without Tea by Rebecca Thorne, a cozy fantasy steeped in sapphic romance about one of the Queen’s private guards and a powerful mage who want to open a bookshop and live happily ever after…if only the world would let them. Cover art by Irene Huang.
WHAT IT’S ABOUT
All Reyna and Kianthe want is to open a bookshop that serves tea. Worn wooden floors, plants on every table, firelight drifting between the rafters…all complemented by love and good company. Thing is, Reyna works as one of the Queen’s private guards, and Kianthe is the most powerful mage in existence. Leaving their lives isn’t so easy.
But after an assassin takes Reyna hostage, she decides she’s thoroughly done risking her life for a self-centered queen. What follows is a cozy tale of mishaps, mysteries, and a murderous queen throwing the realm’s biggest temper tantrum.
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nemisuki · 1 month ago
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A Special Day
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Dating AU | You never felt the need to celebrate this 'special' day every year. But time it's different, the first year with your explosive boyfriend. And seems like he thinks differently.
᧔o᧓ || Katsuki Bakugo x f!reader, no manga spoilers, no nsfw, pure fluff, no angst, aged up, oneshot, bkg is a softie, gift giving, 1.3k word count
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"So do you have any plans tomorrow?"
The sound of his voice breaks the silence between you two. The only other noise being the scribbles of her pencil and flipping of paper.
Her eyes don't break away from the math problem in her notebook, the source of her misery for the past 10 minutes.
In response to his question, the girl exhales a short hum while erasing her failed attempt of multiplication, "Not really."
A small pout begins to form on her face as she concentrates on the equation.
What sane person puts letters in math?
Listening to her reply, his eyebrows furrow with slight confusion, his hand pausing from completing the assignment in front of him.
He takes this opportunity to pause his studies, leaning back in his chair to stretch his limbs.
A small sigh exiting his mouth as he stands up to lift his arms over his head to give relief to his aching muscles.
"It's your birthday, don't ya want a party or go out to eat?"
At his movement, she takes a peek in his direction.
Her gaze roaming his backside - noticing the outline of his back muscles from that tank top he's wearing.
The combination of his shirt and the grey sweatpants loosely hanging on his waist was deadly.
It's even worse that he is completely unaware of the effect it has on her.
Seeing him take a break gave her an excuse to do the same.
She props herself off his bed with her elbows, now sitting up on the edge of his mattress with a small yawn, "Not really. I don't usually celebrate it."
"Like at all?" he turns back to look at her, noting the aloof expression on her face.
"I mean maybe when I was younger but not anymore.”
He examines her body language intensely, only to find no signs of discomfort.
So she really doesn’t want to celebrate huh.
I mean he understands, he wasn’t one to care about his own birthday either.
He steps closer to plop down beside her, looking at the alarm clock on his bedside table, “we should call it a night.”
“Yeah I should head back to my dorm now” she smiles, looking at how the moonlight accentuates his features, only enhancing the vision beside her.
“Just sleep over” he mumbles, already moving to lay down on his bed. Making room for her as he scoots towards the wall.
“And your roommate?”
“Shitty hair said he’s crashing at Raccoon eyes dorm. So turn off the lamp and come over here yeah?”
She couldn’t help but to laugh at his blunt demands, reaching over to shut off the lamp then resting beside him in an instant.
There's no way she'll let an opportunity like this go to waste.
With that, the blonde drapes the blanket over the two, looking almost offended that she didn't wrap her hands around him like she always does.
He isn't one for physical touch but he's gotten used to hers.
She seems to feel his stare and immediately scoots closer to curl up beside him, leaning her face into his chest.
Thankfully dismissing all his dramatic thoughts in an instant.
He wraps his arms around her torso to hold her close, "Real tired. Gonna sleep now, night."
"Mhm good night 'suki. I love you" she whispers back, closing her eyes to relish in his warmth.
A feeling she loves all too well.
"....love you too" he replies after a few seconds. Before his eyes fall close, allowing himself to drown in the feeling of her presence.
Already knowing what he must do tomorrow.
✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ     ⎯⎯ ✦
Her eyes squint in response to the distant sound of raining pattering outside the window.
The once dark room is now filled with morning light peeking through cracks in the curtain.
A groan escaping her as she rubs her eyes awake, attempting to fight the invisible force that's trying to pull her back to eternal sleep.
Though under the covers, she shivers at the chilly room she's woken up too. Expecting to be tangled under the covers with her favorite blonde, yet is only faced with an imposter - a pillow taking his place.
It takes her a few minutes of mindlessly staring at the ceiling for her to sit up, but only due to the sound of the door slowly creaking open.
His figure comes into view as he closes the door behind him, placing a mysterious bag on his desk as he takes off his coat and tucks his umbrella away, "You just woke up?"
"Yeah just now. Where'd you go?" she tilts her head, ruling out the option that he had class since he doesn't have his bag.
She stands up and begins approaching him but he holds his hand up, making her pause in her tracks.
"Close your eyes for a minute" he mumbles quietly, all of a sudden avoiding her questioning gaze.
Despite her confusion, she doesn't ask to investigate further as her eyes flutter shut.
"Don't peek or I'll kill ya."
An amused smile appears on her face at his snarky comment, "I won't but if you don't hurry up I might fall back asleep."
The sound of rustling was heard in the room, as well as a small clicking sound shortly after.
"Can I look now?"
"No."
"What about now?"
"I told you already, not yet!"
Laughter escapes her as she impatiently waits, fidgeting her fingers as she hears him step closer.
"...Alright you can open them now."
She hums and her eyes slowly open, slightly squinting to adjust to the light of the room once again.
Once done, she looks ahead of her and is met with an overwhelming sight. Complete shock taking over her face.
Bakugo is standing there, holding up a small birthday cake with lit candles on top.
Her heart thumps louder in her chest, so much so that it almost drowns out the noise of rain happening outside the room.
And she wonders if he can hear it too.
"I uh... know what you said yesterday but it just-" he holds the cake closer to her face, "didn't feel right to me."
Her gaze roams across the cake, pretty cursive letters in frosting spelling out 'Happy Birthday Y/N' on the surface. Along with her favorite pieces of fruit scattered around the edges.
"You didn't have to" she mumbles, a thankful smile taking over her face the more she stares at the cake.
"Well I wanted to. Now blow out the candles, nerd."
Holding back a laugh, she takes a moment to look at him, "Not gonna sing for me?"
"Hah! In your dreams maybe. Hurry up would ya? My arms getting tired here" he rolls his eyes at her teasing, the tip of his ears turning a soft pink from embarrassment.
She holds back a wide smile and blows out the candles before he grows more shy.
"What flavor is it?"
"You're favorite one, obviously" he huffs, stepping away to set the cake down on his desk.
As her gaze lingered on him, a sudden feeling took over her whole body.
She notices the small puddle forming under his wet shoes, a mini bouquet of her favorite flowers resting in a vase he must've bought earlier and a gift bag carefully placed on the sidelines.
Katsuki Bakugo hates the rain. Avoids it at all costs.
Yet he willingly went out in this downpour to buy her these things.
Ah....
"Oi do you want a one slice or-"
His words falter when her hands suddenly wrap around his waist from behind. Her face resting against his back, not wanting him to see as silent tears trickle down her cheeks.
"Thank you Katsuki."
He stays silent, feeling the back of his shirt grow damp from her quiet cries.
A sigh exits his mouth as he prys her hands away, spinning around to hold her close to his chest. Rubbing her back in gentle circles and whispering rare words of reassurance.
"Yeah yeah let it all out. I got ya" he mumbles, knowing exactly how to calm her down.
She just needs him there to hold her as he always does.
And he'll stick around - for her.
"Happy Birthday Y/N."
✦ ⎯⎯⋆ ˚。⋆ ୨ masterlist || taglist || intro || socials ୧⋆ ˚。⋆⎯⎯ ✦
A/N ||| hey hey everyone! It's actually my birthday today so I quickly wrote this up hehe. Sorry if it's a bit choppy, this was rushed. Anywaysss I finally made a taglist - so if you want to get tagged in my bakugo fics then click on this link!
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redeemingvillains · 15 days ago
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the apothecary's rebel - mattheo riddle
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summary: hogwarts' bad boy can't seem to find a way to stay out of the infirmary where you're working to become a healer, but as the stakes get higher, you struggle to understand if you're simply a means to an end, or something much more.
word count: 4k
warnings: mentions of severe injury, broken bones, blood, etc.
a/n: this is so tropey and i'm not sorry about it! credit as always to the lovely @pizzaapeteer who has definitively determined that mattheo's favorite quidditch team is the falmouth falcons, which i will faithfully honor in every fic that i write.
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The first time you met Mattheo Riddle, he had rivulets of blood pouring from his nose, crimson and amber; it stained his white collared shirt and seeped into his emerald tie and dark robes but despite it, he was smiling, laughing actually as his eyes glinted at Professor McGonagall who was dragging him alongside her into the infirmary.
"Please, Professor" he implored, "I can't help myself when someone runs their mouth like that, I can't, it's like a curse or something, my fist just flew to his face, what was I supposed to do?!" He was smirking as he looked at her, but she ignored his gaze as she yanked him before you.
"Enough, Mr. Riddle!" she said shrilly.
He tugged his arm out of her grasp. "I don't need the infirmary, m'fine" he huffed, rolling his eyes.
"You're dripping blood on my floor" she retorted, pointing to the maroon spots at his feet.
He glanced down and then wiped his nose with the back of his hand, smearing the blood further across his face.
"Ms. YLN!" McGonagall said, making it clear that he was your problem now as she squeezed her eyes shut in aggravation then spun on her heels and left.
You stood from your desk at once startled and awed by the situation, but Mattheo's gaze followed McGonagall out of the room.
"M'fine, I don't need anything" he repeated as he continued to swipe at the blood that wouldn't stop running.
You begged to differ as you took in the gash on the bridge of his nose, and the early signs of a black eye. You handed him a cloth which he stuffed under his nose halfheartedly, barely glancing at you, and before you could do anything else, he jogged back to the doorway, peered around the corner and disappeared.
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Your week went by without anything nearly as exciting occurring beyond the normal bumps, bruises, and burns from spells and potions gone awry before you saw him again, this time of his own volition.
He caught your eye as his large framed graced the doorway. He was dressed for quidditch, still in his shoulder pads and Slytherin practice jersey. His dark curls were windblown and his cheeks were flush with exertion; sweat glistened on his brow and you thought fleetingly to yourself that no one had the right to look that sweaty and that good at the same time.
You stood from your desk to approach him, eyebrow quirked when he held up his hand by way of explanation, where two of his fingers were bent the wrong way, clearly broken. You motioned wordlessly for him to sit on the nearest cot.
He sat and immediately focused his attention out the window, peering like he was hoping to see the quidditch pitch from his vantage point.
You gathered a few supplies and approached him and he thrust out his hand, eyes never leaving the window.
"Go on then, get it over with" he said shortly. "I wanna get back to practice."
Unbeknownst to you, he was no stranger to broken bones, nor the sharp, relentless pain that came with the healing process and he was doing everything he could to steel himself for it.
Your touch was warm and tender as your fingers gently examined his hand.
"What position do you play?" you asked.
"Beater" he said simply.
You handed him a dose of healing and numbing potion, which he chugged in one go, thinking briefly that it tasted much better than he remembered.
"Are you any good?" you continued as you took the vial back from him and continued your work on his fingers.
"Are you joking?" he asked, laughing humorlessly.
You shrugged innocently, a sly smile on your lips, though you never broke your focus.
"Yeah, I'm good" he said. "Best Slytherin has seen in a while. We might actually have a chance at the cup this year if Flynt can keep his head straight and Goyle can stay sober long enough to sit on his broom."
"A daunting task" you teased.
He laughed genuinely this time, your humor enough to garner his attention and break his gaze from the window as his eyes fell on you instead, and you could feel yourself flush under his notice.
"Harpies or Cannons?" you asked, trying to guess his favorite team.
"Falcons" he said, smirking at your knowledge of quidditch.
"My brothers root for Ballycastle, but I'm partial to the Magpies" you replied.
Now he was flat out impressed and had about a million questions for you, but just as he opened his mouth to ask them, you step back and smiled.
"You're all set!"
He thought you were joking until he looked down at his carefully bandaged fingers.
"You should be able to grip your broom just fine. Put some ice on it after practice if you can, otherwise it will hurt like hell when the potion wears off."
You were gathering your supplies as he wiggled his fingers with trepidation. He felt a dull ache, but nothing more, and he could easily grasp his broom despite his mended fingers with the unique way you'd wrapped them; it'd felt better than any mending he'd had before and whether it was your talent or the deft way you'd distracted him, he couldn't stop himself from muttering "S'bloody brilliant."
"Thanks" you said genuinely, feeling the heat return to your cheeks as you shot him a playful smirk of your own. "Best Ravenclaw's seen in a while" you teased, echoing his words from earlier before you walked back to your desk.
The rest of the afternoon you found your thoughts wandering between the books you were trying to study and the boy with dark curls and a smirky grin who seemed magnetized to mischief, how even the brush of your fingers against his strong, calloused hands had had you struggling to focus on healing, the very thing that came most naturally to you.
You were both happy and disappointed that you didn't see him soon thereafter, glad perhaps that he was keeping himself out of trouble and in one piece. You caught glimpses of him occasionally in the busy corridor between classes or in the Great Hall surrounded by his raucous group of friends, but you tried your level best not to stare, in turn missing his equally ardent attempts to catch your eye.
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It was perhaps three weeks later that you awoke late on a Saturday night to a muffled pounding on your bedroom door. Bright moonlight shone through your curtained window as you struggled to get your bearings and the pounding relented, heavy and urgent.
Occasionally, Madam Pomfrey summoned you in an emergency and your heart trilled as you pulled a large sweater over your lace and silk pajamas. You moved quickly to open the door, only to find Mattheo slumped and leaning against your doorway.
He swung his head to look at you with noticeable effort and you couldn't hold in your gasp as you took in his face, scraped and dirty with a large cut on his eyebrow that you were already calculating would need stitches, and a smaller but sizable cut to match on his lip. His mouth was bloodied and the gash on the bridge of his nose was back.
"Gods, Mattheo" you whispered as you reached for him. "Let's get you down to the infirmary."
"S'four inthe mornin' m'not gonna explain to them why I looklike this" he said, his speech slurring as he moved to brush past you into your room.
"Can'tyou fix me n'here?" he asked, as he swayed and you moved to support his weight.
"I-I don't have what I need, I don't have any numbing potion..." you tried to say.
"Can't hurt more'n it already does" he huffed as he sat on your bed.
The sight of him there, rumpling your sheets caught every last word in your throat and you busied yourself grabbing what you could to buy time to still your racing heart.
"What happened?" you asked, finally.
"Me'n the boys got into one" he said, not offering more in the way of an explanation as he glanced around your room, making you feel exposed.
"And where are they?" you asked, glancing for a moment back at the door like they might follow him in.
"I wasn'about to drag five ofus n'here" he said with a smirk.
I wanted you all to myself he thought as he tried with significant effort to focus on you as you came to stand between his spread legs. Your sweater was falling off of your shoulder to reveal thin, silk pajamas that covered next to nothing; your hair was rumpled and wavy with sleep, giving you a relaxed and tousled look that had his mind racing with the image of you tangled in your sheets.
You held his chin softly in your hand, turning his head slowly to the right and to the left. You could smell firewhiskey on him, and could see the pupils of his eyes blown wide as they looked unwavering at you in a way that made your legs feel like jelly.
"You might have a concussion" you said quietly, focusing on the facts instead of the fantasy in front of you.
"Probably" he agreed, his voice thick and raspy.
Your eyes shifted from his strong gaze to focus on his hands, attentively wiping away the dirt, gravel and blood from his knuckles, your fingers running down his palms. His eyes fluttered, thinking you had no right to make him feel this good by touching his hands, and then immediately he thought about your touch anywhere, everywhere else.
You leaned further into him to attend to the cut on his eyebrow, softly whispering the spell to mend it, close enough that he could feel your breath against his skin and he closed his eyes in earnest, letting your words wash over him, calming him from what had been an intense and violent night; they didn't flutter open again until you gently touched his lip.
"Sorry, did that hurt?" you asked.
"S'other ways you could make it feel better" he said, smiling widely in way that set a twinkle in his eye.
"Very funny" you said, redoubling your efforts, without realizing that for once he wasn't joking.
He reached out a hand to grab your waist, attempting to pull you into him, but you mistook it for an effort to steady himself and set a hand on his shoulder.
With the amount of alcohol in his system you thought, there is little to no chance he remembers any of this.
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Mattheo woke with a throbbing headache and for the life of him he couldn't piece together why his friends visibly looked like they'd lost a brawl, while he looked...fine; his hands and face were clean and his split lip and eyebrow were reduced to small cuts and scrapes, nearly healed.
He had a foggy memory, like a dream, of you tracing your fingers over his lip, a touch he retraced now like he could feel you on his skin, could feel your warmth from being pulled out of bed, and then he remembered how good you'd smelled, like vanilla and amber... Had he really gone to your room in the middle of the night? He would almost be embarrassed if he didn't feel so fucking smitten about it.
The group dragged themselves to breakfast, hoods drawn; Theo even sported an oversized pair of sunglasses, whether to cover his black eye or to abade his hangover, no one was sure. They were talking in rasp whispers about the night before when Mattheo caught sight of you leaving the Great Hall with a few of your friends, his feet moving on autopilot towards you before he knew what he was doing, breaking rank to his friends' bewilderment.
"Hey" he said, catching your attention. "I-uhh, thanks for last night, I guess" he smiled, even as he carded his hand through his hair, a bit abashed.
"I am genuinely surprised you remember any of it" you said, laughing.
"F'course I do" he said confidently.
"So, you'll keep your promise then?" you retorted as you cocked your head expectantly.
Promise? What fucking promise?
"Yeah, of course I will" he said, even as his mind drew a complete blank on what you were referring to.
Your eyebrows shot up as a wide smile graced your lips and you crossed your arms, ready to challenge him before you were interupted.
"—Wait, is this her?" Theo barged in, pushing Mattheo aside, the others following closely behind.
"Can she look at my nose?" Draco tried. "I think that fucker broke—"
"—No. Stop, stop it." Mattheo said, dragging them away from you gruffly as you laughed, waving to Enzo who was waving eagerly to you despite Mattheo's efforts to contain him.
Your cheeks were crimson. He'd told his friends about you.
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That giddiness carried you throughout your day. You felt like you were floating from class to class, like a fifth house ghost, your spirits high even as you resigned yourself to the infirmary that evening while the rest of the school made their way to the quidditch pitch for the final game of the season, the House Cup: Slytherin versus Gryffindor.
A dark storm had settled over the mountains and the last of the sun disappeared behind large, black clouds that brought with them torrential wind and rain that you watched cascade in sheets against the windows. You were disappointed to be missing the game, missing the chance to watch Mattheo play, but you were also happy to be inside, dry and warm.
You settled into your book, trying your best to enjoy it, but you found yourself reading and re-reading the same sentence over and over again, unable to clear your mind from the night before, the way Mattheo settled effortlessly on your bed in a way that even now had your stomach clenching, the way his dark eyes followed you in the white moonlight, the way he smiled under caked blood and the warmth and softness of his skin and his lips under your fingertips; and finally the way he'd grabbed you, perhaps stronger than he'd intended, fingers pressing into the thin silk that covered you, leaving imprints on your skin. Your heart was racing and you felt warm at the memory as you set your book down and exhaled shakily.
It wasn't a moment later that you heard a commotion in the corridor, loud voices and shuffling feet before a large group burst through the doors, professors and students crowding around two quidditch players, the sight making your heart constrict in your chest, until you noticed a red jersey on one and the flash of Draco Malfoy's bright blonde hair on the other. You scurried to help guide him to a cot as he groaned, his eyes squeezing in pain as a gash on his forehead dripped blood down the side of his face.
"What the hell happened?!" you asked Professor Sinistra who had a deep frown set on her face.
"The storm is making it impossible to see anything, they should have cancelled the damn match" she said. "These two collided and there's another one coming - he tried to grab Malfoy and took a bludger straight to the knee before falling 60 feet to the ground."
Draco continued to writhe in pain in front of you and Professor Sinistra was still talking but she sounded distant, almost underwater, because dread and fear had settled over you. Somehow you knew before you turned around that the third player was Mattheo, and you glanced over your shoulder in time to see him being supported between Theo and Blaise.
He was limping on one leg as the other dragged uselessly beneath him. He was soaked through, his hair stuck to his forehead and his jersey stuck to his skin. He was covered in mud and his face was like stone, marble white as he stared sternly at a spot on the ground, jaw clenched.
You dropped what you had been doing, rudely brushing past Professor Sinistra and rushed to his side.
"Here, put him here" you said to Theo and Blaise, leading them to an empty cot.
"Nahh - fuck - get someone else" Mattheo said sharply in a way so cutting and raw that you froze, like his words had struck you like a charm.
"W-What?" you said as the boys lowered him to the bed, exchanging glances.
"You heard me YLN. Get someone else!" he said angrily, almost yelling.
You turned to face the rest of the infirmary which was in a state of utter chaos between the nurses, students and professors running back and forth; the raging storm outside cracked and boomed, setting you further on edge.
Tears welled in your eyes at how overwhelmed you were and how angry Mattheo was. Your head was spinning. Clearly he didn't care about you at all, you had been a convenience, a means to an end, someone who could patch him up when he was too drunk to go to the infirmary, and he'd used his good looks and charm on you like he did everyone else to get what he wanted. You had been an utter fool. Now his injuries were serious and he wanted someone with experience, not some girl to exchange flirty banter with.
Your eyes scanned the room again and you swiped angrily at your cheeks as several tears escaped.
"Well, there isn't anyone else, Mattheo" you said, the realization hitting you simultaneously that you were responsible for him.
He groaned in annoyance and threw his head back on his pillow, which Theo and Blaise thankfully took as their cue to go. You drew the curtains behind them, struggling to calm yourself, to get a semblance of control.
"You took a bludger to the knee?" you asked. "What else, where does it hurt?"
He was silent, face grimaced, refusing to make eye contact with you.
"Suppose I'll just have to undress you and find out for myself then?" you tried. But even that didn't work as he remained quiet and shame and embarrassment set over you.
You took a steadying breath and quickly wiped another errant tear away before approaching him cautiously, moving to unlace his boots as gently as you could, but even that caused him to tense. Delicately, you began to cut his trousers from the bottom and within three snips could you see a sicky swelling letting you know that this was bad....very bad. He'd well shattered his knee and likely broke his fibula and tibia too, his entire leg was a disaster. You had no idea how he'd remained so calm despite it all and you were worried that this might be too complex for you to mend.
You mixed him a strong healing and numbing potion and he took it from you wordlessly, gruffly. Gone was his bashful smile from this morning, the twinkle in his eye, it was like he wanted nothing to do with you, downing the potion in one go, still refusing to meet your gaze.
"Mattheo, I can't imagine how painful this must be, but I'll fix it, I-I promise" you said.
His eyes shifted darkly to you for only a moment, anger and distain clear in his gaze before he looked away again, never saying a word.
You applied just about everything you'd ever learned about mending bones, tendons, muscles and sinew and within moments of taking the potion, Mattheo had fallen into a deep sleep, allowing you to work without fear of hurting him further. It took the better part of two hours, by which time the rest of the infirmary had settled and Madam Pomfrey came to check on you. She was difficult to please, but she scrutinized your work with a sharp eye before complimenting you thoroughly, you had done it.
You were depleted, exhausted, both physically and emotionally but you didn't stop as you wiped the caked mud from Mattheo's cheeks and gingerly cut away the rest of his wet clothing, fearful he'd catch a chill, thinking you deserved some sort of medal for your level of professionalism as your fingers traced his strong muscles, veined arms and faded scars. You pulled a blanket over him, charmed to stay warm before you finally slumped into a chair at his side.
Your entire body was tense, and your muscles were sore. You let yourself catch your breath as your emotions finally caught up with you and you bit your lip to keep from crying at how foolish you felt.
Madam Pomfrey poked her head through the curtain. "You're free to go" she said quietly.
You glanced back at Mattheo before turning to her. "I think I'll stay...just in case" you whispered.
She pursed her lips knowingly before nodding curtly and walking back to her station at the far end of the room.
It could have been minutes, it could have been hours, but eventually you fell into a fitful sleep riddled with nightmares of falling into deep darkness with nothing and no one to catch you.
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Mattheo came to in a haze, enveloped in a soft warmth that brought a smile to his lips; for some reason, it reminded him of you, and it smelled like you, like warm vanilla and amber spice. As if in a dream, a memory came rushing back to him, of another time he was engulfed by you, of feeling your gentle touch on his lips in a way that made them tingle even now.
"How'sthis" he said. "I promise if I'm ever this'fucked again, and you haveta take care o'me, I'll take you ona date?" Your eyes shot to his, shining against the moonlight streaming into your bedroom and he clocked the twitch of your lip, the rose of your cheeks, Gods how he loved to make you blush. "Yeah?" you said jokingly. "Yeah" he said, feeling confident. You refocused your attention on his lip, your touch soaking through him like sunlight. "Well, for your sake, I hope that doesn't happen, you're a mess" you chided. Then, quietly, "But for mine, I look forward to it."
His heart soared and he reached for you only to come back with empty hands. He continued to grasp for you until his eyes fluttered open and he realized where he was. The memory of the game came rushing back to him, the flash of thunder and lighting, the fear of seeing his best mate falling off his broom as he raced to grab him, and then the crunch and splitting pain of his knee shattering, the scream he'd let out that was drowned by the storm.
His stomach roiled as he relived the way his friends had dragged him back to the castle, how every bump of his foot felt like torture. He tensed now, waiting for the pain, nearly nauseating himself with the memories, but he felt...nothing. A dull ached radiated from his knee and it felt stiff, but the sharpness was gone, replaced with a pulsing warmth.
His eyes blinked in the low candlelight, coming to rest on you, curled uncomfortably in a chair next to his bed, and he realized he should have known, should have recognized that you were the constant peace on the other side of his pain.
You were asleep, but your face was scrunched in discomfort, in concern and he clocked the smudge of your eye makeup, the loose strands of your hair falling on your face, and the fact that you were wearing the same clothes from earlier this morning, when he'd made you smile. Now, you looked distraught, upset and his stomach clenched as he remembered the way he'd spoken to you.
He had been in so much pain and pain is weakness he could hear in his head over and over again as he'd tried unsuccessfully to fight it. She's going to think you're weak, pathetic. He didn't want to be weak in front of you, he didn't want you to see him that way. He was proud when you mended his busted knuckles, his split lip, or even his smashed fingers, you didn't need a weak, crying git. But then he remembered the crushed look on your face as he'd yelled at you, and he realized he'd been a git all the same.
"Hey" he said, his voice coming out quieter than he'd intended, scratchy with sleep.
"Hey" he tried again.
You woke, startled. "Are you alright?" you asked, bolting upright in your chair, setting a hand on his arm. "Here, let me check your—"
"—I'm fine" he said, laughing. "More than, actually."
"Oh" you said, settling back down. "Good."
A moment of tepid silence passed between you.
"Look, m'sorry about earlier" he said, his sleep ridden voice coaxing your eyes to meet his as he opened his hand on the bed beside him, stretching it out for yours.
You hesitated, pursing your lips, and he could tell you were hurt.
"Can you keep a secret?" he tried.
You nodded.
"That fucking hurt, a lot" he exhaled as he let his vulnerability show.
"That's not really a secret. You shattered your knee, fibula and tibia, Mattheo, and you also have three bruised ribs and two more broken fingers" you said, pointing to his other hand.
"Well, would you look at that" he said smartly, twiddling his fingers back and forth.
"Draco cried harder over a hairline fracture, you'd have thought he was dying" you laughed quietly as you rolled your eyes.
Mattheo let out an earnest laugh at that before he grabbed his side.
"Do not tell him I said that—"
"—I am absolutely telling him you said that!" he said cockily as you both laughed until you fell into silence again.
He opened his palm again and you moved closer, setting your hand in his, which he enveloped in his warm grasp, gently rubbing a thumb over your fingers.
"I didn't want you to think I'm weak" he said finally, the truth settling over both of you like a blanket.
"Pain isn't weakness, Mattheo" you said simply, and the fact that in one instant you had understood exactly what he had meant had his dark chocolate eyes locked on yours.
"And anyway" you continued, "you don't have a weak bone in your body, your pain tolerance must be through the roof."
He didn't have the heart to tell you he hurt just like everyone else, he'd just had more practice with it, so he shrugged.
"Well all things considered, I feel great... thank you" he said, twirling your fingers together before tugging them gently, pulling you to sit on the bed beside him, close enough to feel the warmth between you. "I do have a couple of complaints though."
Your eyebrow quirked, suddenly serious.
"You got me nearly naked here before I could take you on that date I promised, hardly seems fair" he smirked.
You blushed, opening your mouth to defend yourself. So he did remember after all you thought.
"I'm kidding" he said lightly. "But start thinking about where I can take you. A promise is a promise."
You couldn't hide the smile on your face even as you tried, glancing into your lap, your cheeks Mattheo's favorite shade of blushed red.
"And what else?" you asked, trying to deflect.
"You missed something. I think I fucked my lip up, real bad" he said.
Your eyes twinkled as they looked at him, glancing briefly at his perfect lips, free from any mark or mar.
"I don't know, I don't see anything" you said, jokingly, taking his face in your hand, pretending to examine him.
"C'mon, c'mere you've got to get closer" he teased, pulling you into him, so your noses were nearly touching, your heart pounding in your chest.
He paused, relishing the moment, letting his fingers trace a line from your cheek to your jaw, letting your lips hover a breath away from his before he cupped your face and closed the distance between you.
He kissed you tentatively, softly, with a tenderness that made every inch of you feel like melted honey but it was only a breath before his restraint broke, intoxicated by you and every moment he'd daydreamed about the way you'd feel against him, the way you'd taste as he cupped both sides of your face and pulled you further into him. You grasped for purchase as the blanket between you slipped revealing his bare chest and you wound your arms around his bare shoulders, tangling your fingers into his hair, eliciting a muffled moan from deep within him. You nibbled his lip playfully before you pulled back, and he grasped you harder, fighting the distance.
"How's that?" you asked, breathlessly.
"Still unbearably painful, gorgeous, keep trying" he smiled against your lips before kissing you again.
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ceilidho · 2 months ago
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take me home, country road
[ao3]
You have nothing on your person apart from a hastily packed suitcase and the dress you came into town wearing, on the run from trouble back home. Too bad John's missing a bride that matches your description. Or: the 1800s (mistaken) mail order bride au (chapter 20 / epilogue)
masterlist
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Black trees against a yellow sky at evening time. 
It’s late when you finally reach home. Dark enough to almost be night—a full day longer to return than it took to leave, but then you hadn’t ridden as hard coming back, too sore and sleep-deprived to manage the same pace. Even the meager sleep you got on the road was hardly sufficient.
Then the shape of your house appears on the horizon and you nearly break down in tears. The sight of it fills you with such relief that you nearly lose your balance, your head slumping forward. Too long. Days that felt like weeks, your body and mind weary from the long trek home. Against the gold of the horizon light, it appears like a boat arriving at port. 
You throw yourself off your horse and to the ground before John has even had a chance himself to dismount and come help you down. He stomps over when your foot nearly catches in the stirrup, nostrils flared and mustache twitching with his scowl. 
“Don’t go breaking your leg before I’ve even gotten you home,” he growls when he reaches you, fitting his hand around the nape of your neck and giving it a squeeze. You’d shiver, but your body is too exhausted for your libido to manage more than a half-hearted twitch. Instead you nod, head bobbing like a baby doll. 
John takes the horses to the stables while you clamber up the stairs on wobbly legs, headed straight for your bedroom, passing out the second your head touches the pillow. Your growling stomach will have to be addressed in the morning.
You aren’t conscious for when John comes up to join you, but you swear even in sleep you can sense his presence in the room. Certainly when he curls himself around you, the wall of warmth at your back briefly making your eyes flicker open before sleep claims you again and they slide shut. 
In the morning, you eat a big breakfast before letting John rub a liniment onto your inner thighs and bandage the cuts on your hands and face. The doctor he takes you to see after breakfast for the shoulder that Graves dislocated prescribes bed rest and light stretching for recovery and laudanum for any lingering pain. 
“What did you tell him?” you ask when the two of you head out for a light lunch in town before heading back home. 
“Told him you fell off a horse.” He shrugs. “Not that uncommon around here.”
All you can do is roll your eyes. 
Still, it’s as good an excuse as any. No one questions your story when you tell it to them over the following days, when your shoulder is still too tender for you to move it too vigorously. Only Kate lifts a brow knowingly, all but cornering you for the real story when you finally get a moment alone. 
“That sonuvabitch,” she hisses when you finally break and tell her what happened. 
“It’s fine,” you insist, shushing her. “John… Well, John handled it.”
She nods approvingly, then looks like she might say more before thinking the better of it. Silence falls between the two of you. 
“He—” you pause in the middle of your sentence, unsure of how exactly to say it. “It wasn’t so bad. Telling him, I mean.”
Kate must catch the slight inflection in your voice because she stares at you expectantly, waiting for you to say more. “…I’m happy to hear that.”
You inhale as if gathering your breath to say more, but nothing comes out. You know what it is you want to say, but it’s getting it out that’s the tricky bit. What you want to tell her is that your trust wasn’t misplaced in the end; all of your fears that the truth would shatter the affection and trust that had finally been shown to you after a lifetime of nothing were unfounded, proven ultimately wrong. 
“Was there something else you wanted to add?”
You chew your lower lip. 
“No. Nothing else,” you say in the end. There’ll be a time someday to tell her that her trust wouldn’t be misplaced with John or Kyle either; perhaps that day will come sooner than you expect, but for now it remains on the distant horizon. It’s not your place to lecture or admonish; your place in her life is to offer the same feeling of security and companionship as she’s offered you.  
Today, you loop your arm through hers and join her for lunch. 
In town, people greet you like you never left. Only one person asks you about the man you were walking with the previous day, and Kate covers for you when you stumble over your answer, throat constricting in your panic. There’s no suspicion in the question, but still you anticipate it because life has conditioned you to expect pain as a response to any action or inaction. 
You are surprised when pain doesn’t come this time. But still, you are wary.
When you get home, John fills the tub with hot water for you and lets you wash up on your own while he tends to the horses, the third now unofficially his. You lean your arms over the side of the tub and drift in and out of your daydreams, ears attuned only to the sound of his voice and the owls calling from the trees just beyond the house. Eyes fluttering shut until slipping deeper into the water kicks you back into wakefulness. 
“You falling asleep in there?” he asks when he stomps back inside, the door slamming shut behind him and nearly giving you a heart attack. 
“No,” you deny, discreetly wiping the rheum from the inner corners of your eyes. “Just resting my eyes.”
“Of course,” he snorts. Amused as ever by seemingly anything that comes out of your mouth.
A telegram comes in to the sheriff's office some weeks later asking about a missing bounty hunter, and though you pitch forward in your chair when John tells you this, he’s quick to remind you that as far as anyone else knows, Graves moved on after his first visit a month or so back. 
It takes time to reassure you, but slowly your hands unclench from the edge of your seat. 
Still, you make yourself scarce for a week after that. It takes some time for you to feel safe again. You spend those first few days after hearing about the telegram constantly looking over your shoulder, plagued by the worry that you’ll be found out. Sharing your worries with John doesn’t go a long way towards alleviating them because his confidence never wavers. It’s almost infuriating. 
“Would it kill you to just pretend?” you huff, cracking an egg into the skillet. 
“Nobody’s gonna come looking for him here. ‘Far as anyone knows, he made his way west a long time ago,” he says, dismissing your concerns while clipping his fingernails at the kitchen table. You scrunch up your nose when you glance over your shoulder.
“You better not think I’m sweeping those up.”
He barks out a laugh at that, shaking his head at the same time. 
True to his word, the front door stays shut. No one comes knocking looking for an errant bounty hunter. Perhaps that is a lesson that you can take away from all of this—that there is no reward for isolating oneself. Your safety has only ever been assured in community, in putting your trust in others and safeguarding their secrets in turn. Only love has ever held out its arms for you to fall into. 
And now the days pass like clouds in the sky. 
Tranquility hovers on the periphery of your life with every intention of calling out your name. It’s waiting for you with open arms. 
In the evenings, John takes you upstairs to the bedroom and pries you open enough to fit himself in. His mouth blazes a trail across your body, sucking your nipples until they’re beaded, wetting his beard with the essence of your pleasure, and bringing you to the brink of completion time and again before pushing you over. 
After a while, he leaves a piece of himself behind. 
Weeks pass and the seasons change. The changes you notice in your body are physical as well as emotional. At some point since coming home, you must have started to unwind. Shoulders loosening up, knots melting down your back. Is it just you, or does the air smell fresher too? 
You pin the laundry up on the clothesline and wait for your husband to come home. The sun sets earlier these days with autumn just around the corner. Already the leaves have begun to redden and brown, some breaking off from the branches altogether and floating to the ground where you know eventually they’ll rot and dissolve into the earth, starting the cycle of death and rebirth all over again. 
Winter is fast approaching and you know this one will be tough with a little one on the way. You’ve already started preparing for the winter months—canning and storing corn and potatoes and other root vegetables harvested from your garden, making preserves from the fruits of autumn—apples and pears sealed in jars of thick syrup—and filling the cellar with barrels of salted and cured meats. In town, you visit the seamstress for clothes of thicker material and leave with an armful of wool flannel petticoats, fur-trimmed bonnets, and corsets of a heavier cotton coutil. 
You rest a hand on your belly as you stare off into the distant mountains. Even the sky darkens earlier these days. When all of the laundry is pinned on the line, you pick up the wicker basket resting by your feet and bring it back inside, shuffling into the kitchen to get started on supper. 
There’s still much that needs to be done before winter arrives. Firewood to be chopped, furs and blankets to be hung on the walls, the fireplace to be swept, and more. Enough to keep you busy and your mind occupied when you aren’t bent over a book because that’s also your reality these days. The librarian in town now knows you by name and knows to set aside a few books a week for you to pick up when you pass by with Kate. 
You don’t think much of the knock at the door at first, absent-mindedly thinking that it must be a neighbor come to visit. Only when you open the door to an unfamiliar face do you pause. 
It’s a woman, not too dissimilar in looks from you. A bit taller, but otherwise if someone were to describe you from looks alone, they might be tempted to use the same words for either of you. She stands on your porch with a suitcase held by her side, a light sheen of sweat on her forehead from the short trip from town. She dabs her forehead lightly with a handkerchief before pocketing it again.
“Hello there,” she greets, a bright smile on her face. “I’m looking for John Price. I was told he lives here?”
For a moment, all you can do is stare at her nonplussed, not understanding why a strange woman might be at your door asking for your husband in such a familiar way. It takes a moment for it to sink in. Then the light goes on and your confusion shifts to disbelief with a twinge of rage. 
“We’re engaged to be married,” the other woman hurries to explain, taking a step closer, foot wedged in the door almost as if intending to barge right in. 
Her gall nearly makes you lose your temper. Months ago, you might’ve welcomed her arrival, eager to prove to John that you weren’t the woman that he mistook you for so that you could be on your merry way. But that time has long since passed. There isn’t anywhere else in the world you’d rather be than here. You’ve put roots down, entrenched yourself in every way.
Your lips pull into a hard line, face set in stone. “You must be mistaken. He’s already married.”
She blinks, uncomprehending. “That’s…—are you sure? We’ve been corresponding. I know I’m a few months late, but I was held up back in—”
You cut her off by sticking out your hand, topaz ring shining bright on your third finger. “I’m sure. But thank you for stopping by; I’ll let John know you send your apologies.”
And with that, you shove her foot out with yours and shut the door on her face. On another day, you’ll allow yourself to feel guilty for your rudeness; for now, this is your happy ending to enjoy. 
And savor it, you will.
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extinctlesspains · 24 days ago
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𝑃𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠 [ 𝐾. 𝑆𝑎𝑒-𝐵𝑦𝑒𝑜𝑘]
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
ʀᴇᴏ̨ᴜᴇsᴛᴇᴅ: ʏᴇs ᴏʀ ɴᴏ
❃ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴋᴀɴɢ sᴀᴇ-ʙʏᴇᴏᴋ x ғᴇᴍ ɢɪʀʟʏ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
❃ ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: ғʟᴜғғ, sᴜɢɢᴇsᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴛᴏᴡᴀʀᴅs ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴅ
❃ sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ:ᴋᴀɴɢ sᴀᴇ-ʙʏᴇᴏᴋ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ sʜᴇ’ᴅ ғᴀʟʟ ғᴏʀ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ—sᴏғᴛ, ʙᴜʙʙʟʏ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴅʀᴇssᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʟ ᴘɪɴᴋs. ʏᴇᴛ, ʜᴇʀᴇ sʜᴇ ᴡᴀs, ᴜɴᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇsɪsᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀʀᴍ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀʀᴍᴛʜ. ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ǫᴜɪᴇᴛ ᴍᴏᴍᴇɴᴛs, sʜᴏᴘᴘɪɴɢ sᴘʀᴇᴇs, ᴀɴᴅ ʟᴀᴛᴇ-ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴄᴏɴғᴇssɪᴏɴs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʀᴏᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏᴘᴘᴏsɪᴛᴇs ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴅᴏ ᴀᴛᴛʀᴀᴄᴛ.
❃ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs: ᴋɪssɪɴɢ
⋇⋆��⋆⋇ 
The rain poured relentlessly outside, filling the room with a soft rhythm. You were curled up on the couch in one of your pastel blankets, a cup of chamomile tea in hand. Sae-Byeok sat at the other end of the couch, scrolling aimlessly on her phone, occasionally glancing up at the movie playing on the screen.
“Are you crying already?” she asked, her voice cutting through the sound of the movie’s dramatic confession scene.
You turned to her, pouting. “It’s emotional, Sae-Byeok! He just confessed his love, and she thought he didn’t care about her! How could you not cry?”
Sae-Byeok raised an eyebrow, her expression unchanging. “Because it’s predictable. You knew they’d end up together.”
You huffed, tossing a pillow in her direction. “You’re such a cynic.”
She caught the pillow effortlessly, her lips twitching into a small smirk. “And you’re too soft.”
“And yet, you’re dating me,” you shot back with a playful grin.
Her smirk deepened, and she scooted closer to you, the blanket rustling as she moved. “Guess I like soft things.”
Your cheeks warmed at her words, and you leaned into her shoulder, your heart fluttering at the rare moment of affection. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” you mumbled.
“Mm,” she hummed, resting her chin lightly on the top of your head.
A week later, you were dragging Sae-Byeok into one of your favorite stores—a pastel wonderland filled with frilly clothes, sparkly accessories, and an overwhelming amount of pink.
“I don’t know why you insist on bringing me here,” she muttered, hands shoved deep into her jacket pockets.
“Because I want your opinion!” you chirped, pulling her toward the accessory section.
“I don’t know anything about bows or skirts.”
“Exactly. That means you’ll be honest!”
Sae-Byeok sighed but followed you, her gaze trailing over the racks of clothes. You picked up a baby pink headband adorned with small pearls and held it up.
“What do you think of this one?”
“It’s fine,” she replied flatly.
You rolled your eyes, grabbing another headband. “Okay, but what about this one? It has a bow.”
“They all look the same,” she deadpanned.
“They do not!” you protested, clutching the headband dramatically. “This one is way cuter!”
She sighed again, clearly exasperated but unable to suppress the small smile forming on her lips. “Fine. Get the one with the bow. It’s… less terrible.”
You beamed, grabbing the headband and twirling in place. “You’re the best, Sae-Byeok!”
As you turned back to the rack, she reached out and adjusted the bow on the back of your dress. “It was crooked,” she muttered when you glanced at her in surprise.
Your heart skipped a beat at her quiet care. “Thanks, babe,” you said softly, earning a rare blush from her.
That night, you lay in bed together, the soft glow of your fairy lights casting the room in a warm, golden hue. Sae-Byeok was lying on her back, her hands folded over her stomach, while you were curled up on your side, gazing at her.
“Sae-Byeok?” you murmured, breaking the silence.
“Hmm?”
“Do you think we’re too different?”
She turned her head to look at you, her dark eyes searching yours. “Why do you ask that?”
“Well, I’m all… this,” you said, gesturing to your pastel satin pajamas and the stuffed animals surrounding you. “And you’re… you.”
She frowned, her brows knitting together. “Does it bother you?”
“No,” you said quickly. “I just… wonder if it bothers you.”
Sae-Byeok propped herself up on one elbow, her expression softening. “It doesn’t bother me. You… make things brighter.”
Your breath hitched at her words, and you felt your cheeks heat up. “Sae-Byeok…”
She reached out, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “I know I’m not good at this, but I don’t care how different we are. I like being with you.”
Tears pricked at your eyes, and you leaned in to kiss her, your lips meeting in a soft, lingering touch. Her hand slid to your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened.
When you finally pulled back, her eyes were half-lidded, her breathing slightly uneven. “You’re too good for me,” she murmured, her voice low.
You shook your head, cupping her cheek. “Don’t say that. You’re amazing, Sae-Byeok.”
She didn’t respond, but the way her fingers traced slow circles on your hip spoke volumes.
The next morning, the two of you stayed in bed longer than usual, tangled in the sheets. The sunlight streamed through the curtains, highlighting the curve of her jaw and the softness in her gaze as she watched you.
“You’re staring,” you teased, your voice still husky from sleep.
“Can’t help it,” she replied, her voice uncharacteristically playful.
You giggled, leaning closer to her. “What are you thinking about?”
Her hand found your waist, her fingers slipping under the hem of your oversized shirt. “How much I like seeing you like this,” she admitted, her voice dropping.
Your cheeks flushed as her touch sent shivers down your spine. “Sae-Byeok…”
She smirked, leaning in until her lips were just a breath away from yours. “You’re too cute for your own good.”
Before you could respond, her lips captured yours in a kiss that was anything but soft. Her hands roamed your sides, her touch firmer now as she pulled you closer, her body pressing against yours.
You gasped into the kiss, your fingers tangling in her hair as her lips moved to your neck, leaving a trail of heated kisses.
“Sae-Byeok…” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
She pulled back just enough to look at you, her dark eyes filled with a rare intensity. “Tell me if I’m going too far,” she murmured, her voice softer now.
You shook your head, a smile tugging at your lips. “I trust you.”
Her lips curved into a small smile before she leaned in again, her kisses growing more passionate as the world outside faded away.
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torpublishinggroup · 9 months ago
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This advertisement is for Can’t Spell Treason Without Tea by Rebecca Thorne, a cozy fantasy steeped in sapphic romance about one of the Queen’s private guards and a powerful mage who want to open a bookshop and live happily ever after…if only the world would let them. Cover art by Irene Huang.
WHAT IT’S ABOUT
All Reyna and Kianthe want is to open a bookshop that serves tea. Worn wooden floors, plants on every table, firelight drifting between the rafters…all complemented by love and good company. Thing is, Reyna works as one of the Queen’s private guards, and Kianthe is the most powerful mage in existence. Leaving their lives isn’t so easy.
But after an assassin takes Reyna hostage, she decides she’s thoroughly done risking her life for a self-centered queen. What follows is a cozy tale of mishaps, mysteries, and a murderous queen throwing the realm’s biggest temper tantrum.
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just-aake · 2 months ago
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A Feline Connection Part 7
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Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader
Summary: Natasha has to face the harsh reality that she can’t help everyone.
Masterlist Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10
Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, light fluff
Words: 3790
“Whitney Frost, daughter of Byron Frost—a typical Wall Street tycoon,” Tony’s voice echoes through the phone as he reads out the details FRIDAY managed to dig up.
On Natasha’s screen, she can see multiple files and articles pulled up on Tony’s monitors, the holographic images casting a blue glow on his face as he continues.
“There are plenty of articles about her earlier years. Standard socialite magazine garbage—life of a spoiled rich kid, extravagant parties, lavish vacations. You get the idea.”
Natasha lets out a dry scoff at the irony, her lips curling slightly. 
“Coming from the playboy billionaire who once blew up half of his mansion?”
Tony gasps theatrically, placing a hand over his chest in a wounded gesture. 
“Watch it, Romanoff. I’m helping you here.”
Rolling her eyes, Natasha nods. “My bad. Please, continue.”
Tony huffs, turning his attention back to his screens. 
“After her father’s death, she goes dark for a couple of years. No public appearances, no sightings—nothing. Coincidentally, around the same time, reports start cropping up about a new leader rising within one of the East Coast’s major crime families. Descriptions of the leader consistently include one distinct detail: a golden mask, giving them the title–”
“Madame Masque,” Natasha finishes for him, her tone flat.  
“Bingo,” Tony confirms. “Over the years, she’s pulled off some pretty big moves. Arms deals, arson, major heists—she’s dangerous, Nat.”
There’s a shuffle of papers in the background, and Peter’s voice chimes in. 
“I don’t get it, Mr. Stark. If she was already rich, why turn to crime?”
Natasha doesn’t hesitate to answer. 
“It’s not always about money,” she says. “Sometimes it’s just about power and control.” 
A brief silence follows, the weight of her words sinking in. 
Tony’s expression darkens slightly, and even Peter doesn’t offer a rebuttal. They all know Natasha is right. 
People like Whitney thrive on domination, bending others to their will. 
Natasha’s frown deepens, her thoughts drifting back to the night before—the memory of you leaving with Whitney still fresh and raw. She exhales slowly, the sting of hurt in her chest flaring again, though she pushes it down. 
Suddenly, Tony’s voice cuts through the quiet. 
“Okay, I can’t ignore this anymore. What are you doing?” 
Natasha’s brows knit in confusion as she glances at the screen. “What do you mean?”
Tony leans closer to the camera, pointing a finger at her with exaggerated disbelief.
“Why are you bottle-feeding that cat like it’s a baby?”
Natasha pulls Widow closer, cradling the tiny feline protectively against her chest. In her free hand, she holds a small baby bottle filled with water, offering it near the cat’s mouth. 
“She still won’t eat complete meals,” Natasha explains defensively. “At least this way, she’s staying hydrated.” 
Widow lets out a faint, sad meow, turning away from the bottle and burrowing deeper into Natasha’s arm. 
Natasha sighs softly, her expression tinged with disappointment as she looks down at the cat.
Peter’s voice pipes up from off-screen. 
“Miss Romanoff, I could go pick up some different kinds of cat food if you’d like?”
Before Natasha can respond, Tony waves him off. 
“Great idea, kid. Take my card and have at it.”
“Awesome,” Peter replies, his excitement evident as he disappears from view. 
As soon as Peter is gone, Natasha raises an eyebrow at Tony. 
“Was that really a good idea?”
Tony shrugs, leaning back in his chair. “Eh, it’ll be fine.” 
“So, what is it?” Natasha asks knowingly. She can tell Tony got rid of Peter so that he would not hear whatever it is Tony was holding back. 
“Some tough love,” he says bluntly, his relaxed demeanor shifting into something more serious. He leans forward, fixing her with a pointed look. “Look, Nat, if your friend is running with people like Whitney Frost, you might need to face the facts.”
“Which are?” Natasha’s tone grows colder, her jaw tightening.
“She’s a criminal,” Tony states flatly, the words landing like a stone.
Natasha’s frown deepens, the label grating against her as she reflexively clutches Widow a little tighter. “And?” 
Tony sighs, shaking his head as if she’s missing the obvious. 
“You need to start treating her like one.”
Natasha’s eyes narrow. 
“Did you forget I used to be an assassin?” she counters, her voice tinged with sarcasm.
“And now you’re an Avenger,” Tony fires back without missing a beat. “Not everyone’s like you, Nat. Not everyone wants to change.” 
The silence stretches between them, tension simmering as Natasha processes his words.  
Seeing her still hesitant to accept the fact, he adds softly, “You can’t help someone who doesn’t even want it.”
Natasha frowns, her eyes drifting down to the little cat in her arms. She strokes her fur delicately, and Widow returns a faint purr in response, though she still refuses to move much more than that. 
“Send me everything you have on Whitney and Madame Masque,” Natasha says, her determination resolving. 
She’s not going to give up on you so easily.
Tony studies her for a moment, his expression knowing before he sighs and leans back in his chair. 
“Already done.”
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
A deep sigh escapes Natasha as she rubs her tired eyes, trying to dispel the exhaustion. The hours have stretched into the late night, a glance at the window and then at the clock on her tablet confirming just how much time has passed.
Beside her on the couch, Widow is curled into a small ball, her tiny body seeming to shrink further with every passing moment. 
The meal Natasha had prepared for her earlier sits barely touched—a few nibbles at best.
Though, in her tired mind, Natasha can’t help but let a stray thought creep in: maybe her cooking is bad enough to deter a cat. 
The self-deprecating humor makes her sigh again, a sure sign of just how drained she feels. 
Setting the tablet on the table, Natasha leans back against the armrest of the couch, her head tilting to rest against the cushion. She raises an arm to cover her eyes, allowing herself just a brief reprieve, not planning to sleep but needing the darkness to ease the strain from hours of research. 
For a while, the silence wraps around her like a blanket. 
Natasha focuses on her breathing, the steady rise and fall helping her ground herself. 
Eventually, she debates whether she has it in her to dive back into her work for the night when a sudden movement shifts at her side. 
Tiny paws pad up her torso, and then a soft weight settles against her stomach.
A familiar, distinct meow breaks the quiet—a chirping, happy sound Natasha hasn’t heard from Widow in days. 
She freezes, her body going rigid as suspicion blooms in her chest. Breathing slowly, Natasha tries to maintain her sleeping position so as not to give herself away.
Widow’s sudden shift in mood—it could only mean one thing.
“I know you’re awake,” your voice cuts through the stillness, warm and teasing from just above her.
Realizing she’s caught, Natasha exhales softly with a mix of both relief at your presence but also mild frustration at the fact that you were able to sneak up on her again. 
She removes her arm from her eyes, blinking up to meet your gaze.
You’re leaning casually against the back of the couch, your head tilted and resting atop the cushion, a small smirk on your lips. 
“It’s way too early for you to have fallen asleep,” you tease lightly, your voice carrying that familiar playful lilt. 
Your attention shifts to Widow, who’s now eagerly leaning against the cushion to lick at your outstretched hand. 
“Isn’t that right, Widow?” you coo, your tone softening as you address the little cat.
Widow chirps again, louder this time, in agreement and nuzzles against your hand with obvious affection. 
Natasha can’t help but scoff lightly, shaking her head at the way the two of you seem to operate as a perfect team.
Carefully, she sits up, trying not to disturb Widow perched atop her. 
However, the movement brings her face unintentionally close to yours. She stills as she realizes the proximity, her lips parting slightly as the quip she intended to deliver gets caught in her throat. 
Instead, all that escapes is a soft exhale. 
Your smirk falters, replaced by a small, almost sad smile. Your eyes search hers, lingering as if you can see something more beyond her carefully maintained exterior. 
The intensity of the moment steals Natasha’s breath, the weight of unspoken words hanging between you. 
Breaking the tension, you lift a hand into view, holding up a bag of takeout containers.
“I brought dinner,” you say softly, the warmth in your tone cutting through the charged silence.
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
Natasha sits cross-legged on the couch, a takeout box resting limply on her lap as her attention drifts away from the half-eaten meal inside. 
Instead, her gaze falls on the two of you. 
You’re seated on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, also cross-legged, with Widow nestled comfortably in your lap. 
The little cat looks more content than she has in days, her tiny paws resting on the edge of the table as she eagerly eats the torn-up pieces of meat you prepared for her. 
A wave of relief washes over Natasha at the sight of Widow eating normally again, her movements lively and natural. It eases the knot of worry that’s been sitting in her chest, but as always, her focus inevitably drifts to you. 
It’s a pull she can’t resist, her gaze lingering on the subtle details in your expression, the quiet ease with which you handle the moment. 
Natasha absently stirs the noodles in her box, her mind turning over the question she’s been holding back since you arrived. It gnaws at her, but finding the right way to ask feels like navigating a minefield.
“How…” she begins, her voice hesitant, but the words falter. 
Natasha bites her lip, uncertain whether she has the right to pry into your life any deeper. 
You glance up at her, catching on to the unfinished question. Setting your takeout container on the table, you tilt your head slightly, offering her an easy opening. 
“How am I here?” you ask knowingly, your voice gentle.
Wordlessly, Natasha nods, grateful but wary of the answer.
“You didn’t look at the USB?” you ask, a touch of curiosity in your tone. 
Natasha shakes her head. 
“I was busy worrying about more pressing matters,” she says, her eyes flicking meaningfully to Widow, who’s still munching happily in your lap. “And anyway, it didn’t seem like she wanted me to have it in the first place.” 
You huff lightly at her words, and with an amused shake of your head, you turn Widow to face you, your fingers gently scratching behind her ears. 
“You were supposed to give it to her,” you chide playfully. 
Widow lets out a small, sassy meow, as if to argue her point, and then wiggles free from your grasp. 
Natasha watches with mild curiosity as the little cat pads over to the side table, where the USB has sat untouched for days. Widow grabs the small device in her mouth and trots back toward Natasha. 
Stopping at her side, Widow drops the USB onto Natasha’s lap with a decisive plop before looking up at her with a smug little chirp, her tail swishing behind her. 
Natasha raises an eyebrow, her lips twitching with the faintest hint of a smile as she picks up the USB. 
“Thank you,” she remarks dryly, her tone soft but teasing.
Widow lets out a pleased meow, circling once before hopping back into your lap, her little body nestling comfortably against you. 
Natasha’s gaze shifts to the USB, her fingers brushing over its surface thoughtfully, before lifting her eyes to meet yours.
“So,” she says, her tone calm but tinged with curiosity, “what exactly am I going to find on here?” 
You glance down at Widow, stroking her head absently as you answer, your voice steady but carrying an undertone of something more. 
“Whitney had a scheduled meeting out of state with some buyers tonight.” 
At the mention of the other woman, Natasha narrows her eyes slightly, reading between the lines. 
“So this is…?”
“Everything you need to finish your original mission,” you reply evenly, meeting her gaze with a serious expression. “The buyers’ identities, their locations, the details of each weapons deal. Enough to track them down and stop the weapons from being used in the wrong hands.” 
Natasha studies you closely, her sharp instinct catching on to the underlying reason for your sudden assistance in her original mission. 
“To shift my attention from Whitney.” 
Your silence at her pointed remark is telling. 
Natasha’s lips press into a thin line, the unspoken truth hanging between you. She tilts her head, her voice firmer now. 
“Why are you protecting her?” 
You flinch slightly at the accusation, your hand pausing mid-stroke on Widow’s fur. After a moment, you let out a sigh, your gaze drifting downward. 
“You know, it wasn’t always like this between us,” you say quietly. 
Natasha stays silent, letting you continue.
“Her dad—her real dad—was the original leader of the organization,” you explain, your voice tinged with something softer, almost nostalgic. “I met her when she was training to take over his position. Or, rather, she found me. I was just a simple thief back then. But not to her.”
You pause, your hand resuming its slow strokes over Widow’s fur as you collect your thoughts. 
“She made me an offer—something I never expected. Another opportunity for my life. To join her. She saw something in me. Something…more.”
The words hang in the air, and Natasha feels a pang of understanding, recalling her own experience from the past. 
“It felt good,” you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. “Having someone look at you like that, like you’re worth something. Like you could be more than you ever thought of yourself.” 
You let out a soft, bitter chuckle. 
“She’s always been good at that. Making you feel special. Like you’re the only one who matters.” 
Natasha’s gaze softens slightly, her arms folding across her chest as she listens. She doesn’t interrupt, sensing the weight behind your words.
“No matter what she did—how far she went—I always found a way to forgive her,” you continue, your tone darkening. “Until I couldn’t anymore.” 
There’s a long pause, the quiet broken only by the faint sounds of Widow’s contented purring. Finally, you lift your gaze to Natasha’s, the vulnerability in your eyes stark, unguarded, and disarming.
“And then I met you,” you say softly, your voice carrying a bittersweet edge. “And for a while, I felt that same thing again. That feeling from the beginning—when it was just lighthearted, fun, and flirty, intoxicating even.”
Natasha’s breath catches, her chest tightening at the quiet admission. The honesty in your words cuts through the usual banter and teasing, leaving her unsure how to respond.
“But I already know how this ends,” you add, your voice softer now, tinged with resignation. “I’ve seen it before. And I can’t…” You trail off, shaking your head slightly, the words left unfinished. 
Natasha watches you closely, her sharp gaze softening despite the weight of your rejection. She leans forward, her voice low but steady in understanding. 
“It’s okay. You don’t owe me anything.” 
Her tone shifts, gaining a quiet intensity and insistence.
“But you don’t need to stay with her either. We can figure out a way to disengage the bomb without you returning to her. A way to keep you both safe.”
Your gaze lowers, regret flickering in your expression. When you finally speak, your voice is heavy with sorrow.
“I have to go back.”
Natasha’s lips part in protest, her brows knitting together in frustration, but before she can speak, you cut her off, your tone firmer now.
“Not because of the bomb,” you clarify. “But because of what I did to her.”
You rise slowly, retrieving the tablet from the table, its screen still displaying the research Tony sent on Whitney. Sensing the shift, Widow hops into Natasha’s lap, purring softly as Natasha strokes her fur, grounding herself.
Sitting down beside her, you scroll through the files until you find what you’re looking for. Wordlessly, you turn the screen toward her. 
Natasha scans the report, her frown deepening with each line. 
It details a failed raid on a Stark Industries facility, ending in a catastrophic explosion. Operatives were killed or gravely injured. Their leader, however, was not discovered among those found.
“I abandoned her that night,” you say softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “None of that would have happened if I had stayed.” 
“You don’t know that,” Natasha counters firmly, her gaze snapping to yours, her hand reaching out instinctively to rest atop yours.
A faint, sad smile tugs at your lips at her touch, and you shake your head slightly.
“I appreciate the thought,” you reply, your voice tinged with bittersweet humor, “but we both know that’s not true—especially considering how I’ve managed to sneak past Stark’s defenses twice now without any problems.”
The smirk you add at the end is small, almost fleeting, but it carries a sting of truth that Natasha can’t ignore.
You’re exceptionally skilled. She can’t deny that.
Your fingers brush hers lightly, tracing the bandages covering her knuckles. A contemplative sadness crosses your face.
Then slowly, you lift her hand to your lips, pressing a soft, almost apologetic kiss against her skin before lowering it back onto Widow’s fur.
“I’m not innocent here, Natasha,” you continue resolutely, your voice low, as if the words are for you as much as for her. “I never was.”
Natasha’s jaw tightens at your words, but she doesn’t interrupt as you continue. 
“I owe her a lot,” you admit, your voice heavy with the weight of your past. “She gave me a chance when no one else did. She saw something in me that I couldn’t. And yet…” Your voice falters slightly, but you press on.  
“I still betrayed her in the end.”
Your gaze shifts to Natasha, your eyes meeting hers with a depth of emotion that makes her chest ache. 
“You deserve more than to wait for me to eventually do the same to you,” you say softly. “More than I already have.” 
Natasha’s chest tightens, the quiet ache spreading as she watches you, her gaze taking in every flicker of pain and regret etched across your features.
But this time, it’s not sadness that rises within her—it’s anger. Not at you, but at everything else.
At Whitney, for manipulating you. At the circumstances that have pushed you to this breaking point. And most of all, at the invisible chains of guilt that hold you hostage, preventing you from seeing a way out.
Her hands twitch, the urge to reach for you almost overwhelming. She wants to close the distance between you, to grasp your shoulders and shake you free from the weight of your past, to tell you that this isn’t your only option.
But she hesitates, her fingers curling into fists as she forces herself to stop.
Forcing you to accept her help, no matter how badly she wants to, would make her no different from Whitney. It would just be another form of control, another pressure you don’t deserve.
And Natasha refuses to become that.
Instead, after a long pause, she speaks with quiet determination.
“What will happen to Widow?” 
You look down at the small cat, curled up peacefully in Natasha’s lap, and sigh. 
“I can’t bring her back with me,” you admit, your voice thick with regret. “But I’ll stay with her as long as I can tonight. Make sure she’s okay, and I’ll explain it to her—let her think it’s like last time, when she stayed with you while I was away.” 
You glance at Natasha, searching for her response. 
“If…you’re still willing to take care of her?”
Natasha straightens slightly, her expression softening as a small smirk forms on her lips.
“I promised, didn’t I?”
Your lips twitch into a faint smile at her answer, gratitude flickering in your eyes. 
But Natasha isn’t done. She leans forward, her tone resolute as her gaze locks onto yours.
“You don’t have to keep punishing yourself,” she says, her words deliberate and carefully chosen. “If you feel guilty about what you’ve done, you can always make it right for yourself. You still have that choice.” 
Her words hang in the air, heavy with meaning, an unspoken plea woven into her steady tone. 
Natasha’s expression holds no judgment, only quiet insistence and something deeper—hope.
The silence that follows feels fragile, as if it could shatter at the wrong move. 
Widow shifts slightly in her lap, her tiny body curling closer as her soft purring fills the space between you. 
It’s a faint sound, but comforting nonetheless, grounding you in a moment that feels far too heavy for words.
For a fleeting second, Natasha sees something in your eyes—an almost imperceptible flicker, as if her words might be reaching you. 
But then your gaze drops, breaking the connection, and the moment slips away. 
Without a word, you gently lift Widow from her lap, cradling her with the same care Natasha has come to associate with you, and rise to your feet. 
Natasha sits up a little straighter, her sharp eyes following your movements as you step toward the hallway, your figure outlined by the dim glow of the room.
“Try to get some rest, Miss Black Widow,” you say softly, your tone steady but carrying a subtle finality that roots her in place. You pause just before disappearing from sight, your head turning slightly as if debating whether to say more.
“You, out of everyone, deserve it.” 
The words linger in the air long after you’ve gone into your bedroom, wrapping around Natasha like a quiet echo. 
She stays where she is, her fingers drifting absentmindedly over the fabric of the couch where you’d been sitting just moments ago, as if tracing the memory of you.
The warmth of your presence is gone, replaced by an emptiness that spreads through the room, making it feel colder, quieter. 
Natasha exhales slowly, leaning back against the couch and staring at the space where you had disappeared from her view. 
She knows you meant those words for her, but the ache in her chest tells her they’re something you’ve denied yourself for far too long. 
“So do you,” she whispers into the empty room, her voice barely audible but filled with a longing that she knows you’ll never let yourself hear.
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10
a/n: Fair warning, I believe there’s only a couple parts left in this series. But don’t quote me on this cause we all know I’ve never been good at predicting the number of chapters left. Again thanks for reading!
If you asked to be tagged and I missed it or if the tag did not work for you, please let me know.
Taglist : @cd-4848, @carifletchersgirl, @skittlebum, @queen-of-chaotic-surprises, @ima-gi--na-tion, @rainix13, @gay4hotmilfs, @imaginexred, @caramelcat123, @2silverchain, @nowthisisliving27, @waltermis, @scarlettbitchx, @self-indulgent-writer, @ashadash0904, @alowint, @littlyamadeus, @so-to-aqui-pelas-fic, @imthenatynat, @transparentflapfarmsludge, @natashasilverfox, @mousetheorist, @btay3115, @samfunko, @wandaromamoff69, @lost-in-the-ice, @ahsatanizgay, @stonemags, @karsonromanoff, @wandanatlov3r, @l1kepeps1cvla, @esposadejoyhuerta, @fxckmiup, @panickedbabygay, @esposadejoyhuerta, @azaleavolkova, @gay4wandanat, @escapereality4music, @caspianalexander007, @henkermen, @xxnaiaxx, @alyssa-bessse, @alianovnasposts
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avis-writeshq · 10 months ago
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hello 😘 aaron hotchner drabble request!
anything with jealousy and possessiveness but in a natural normal way not a joe goldberg way haha
and also - aaron sees you wearing his hoodie/shirt drabble!
thank you and your work is amazing!
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pairing: aaron hotchner x bau!fem!reader genre: established relationship, aaron is a little (a lot) upset warnings: misogynistic moron >:( reader wears a skirt, if you get the reference ily a/n: i wrote it and the more i wrote the more i realised that it... really isn't the same at all :( if you want me to redo it, please send me an ask !! thank you lovely <3 wc: 631
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“You would think that he would know by now,” Emily hums, her tone disapproving and mostly disappointed as she watches from a distance as Captain Pembroke attempts to chat you up. 
“He’s a captain?” Spencer asks in genuine amazement. 
“For NYPD’s major crime unit,” JJ confirms, her arms crossed over her chest. “He tried to hit on Emily a couple days ago, and on Amy from the fourth floor. I wouldn’t be surprised it he has some sort of sealed file on him.”
Emily scoffs a little, rolling her eyes. “Sounds like a charmer.”
“The bigger question is, does Hotch know?” Derek pipes up as he glances in your direction.
“Well…” JJ lets out a nervous laugh. “I kind of hope he doesn’t.”
You offer a curt smile in Pembroke’s direction, doing everything in your power to subtly signal that you really should be leaving. Fiddling with the loose threads of your shirt, averting eye contact, taking tiny steps away in hopes that he’ll somehow get the message. It isn’t surprising that he doesn’t. 
“I beat my PR yesterday, you know,” he brags, flexing his muscles. You think you’re about to throw up as he continues, “129. Impressive, right, hun?”
“The average amount of pounds an untrained man can lift is 135,” you respond dismissively in an attempt to lean into Spencer’s way of getting people to leave him alone, but Pembroke doesn’t seem to hear you. 
“You know, sweets, I don’t think you should even be in this job. You’re far too foxy,” he says with a wink, “You’d be better in a different job. I mean, women aren’t fit for these types of roles. They get too emotional.”
You refrain from punching his face as it will only prove his point. “Listen, Ken–”
“It’s Keith–”
“Kyle,” you amend with a sickly smile. “I do need to get these files to Agent Rossi, so if you’ll excuse me…”
“Aw, come on, it was only a joke,” Pembroke says with a laugh. “It’ll be fine–”
“There you are.”
You don’t think you’ve ever felt more relieved in your life. Aaron’s hand rests flat against your back, dangerously close to the waistband of your skirt and he stands behind you. Aaron is a good couple of inches taller than Pembroke, especially when he stands at his full height, his dark eyed narrowed and his jaw clenched. 
“Did you need something from my agent, Captain?” He asks lowly. 
“Just pleasant conversation,” Pembroke responds dismissively.
Aaron raises an eyebrow, his gaze shifting from your uncomfortable frown to the captain’s smug face. “We have three missing women and you are disturbing an investigation by disrupting my agents. I suggest you get your act together before I report you to your superiors for harassment.”
He doesn’t bother waiting for a response, guiding you by the small of your back towards his makeshift office in the New York Police Office. He doesn’t say a word until the door is firmly closed and the blinds are drawn. 
“Are you alright?” He asks softly, taking a step towards you and curling his fingers by your cheekbone. “I heard what he said. Do you want me to report it?”
“I’ve dealt with worse.” You don’t mean to sound so honest when you say it and his frown deepens.
“That’s not okay, honey.” Aaron presses a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll report it. You know how it is with cases like these; someone just has to put the first step forward.”
You smile at that, poking at his cheeks. “I thought you were going to hit him.”
“I thought you would’ve beat me to it,” he admits through a quiet laugh, giving you a proper kiss. “We shouldn’t make this into a habit.”
“Tell that to Kimberly.”
“That isn’t even close.”
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adragonprinceswhore · 7 months ago
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The Commune
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Cult Leader!Aemond x Niece!Reader
Summary: A modern AU where Aemond, power-hungry and high on hubris, is the leader of a commune with a peculiar affection for the Seven.
Warnings: 18+, dark themes (mind the tags!), AFAB reader, depictions of depression, manipulation, coercion, dubcon/noncon, targcest (no description of appearance), fingering, oral (m. and f. receiving), facefucking, humiliation, (noncon) spanking, semi-public sex, P in V, breeding kink
Word Count: 19k
A/N: I've wanted to edit this for a while and finally got around to it! It took all week 🫠 I definitely feel like the fic got a face-lift! Enjoy ✨
Leaving
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Your heart is beating fast and hard when you wake up.
The shrill sound of your alarm clock does little to ease your tense state, abruptly ruining the quiet calm that had previously occupied your bedroom. Without fully opening your eyes, you reach for its usual spot on the nightstand and press snooze, hoping for a little more serenity before you have to get up and face yet another insufferable day at work.
How could such a dull job cause you so much stress?
Why did it make you wake up each night with a heavy swirl of dread and anxiety tightening in your chest, rendering you unable to fall back asleep?
You’ve never been this tired before, yet you’ve never found sleep harder to obtain.
With a sigh you push yourself out of the warm comfort of your bed. It is so soft and smells like home; laundry detergent and the scented candle you keep on the nightstand.
The forced separation almost makes you cry as your body shivers in your chill bedroom.
Each day as heavy to bear as the next.
You grab the robe you have hanging on the back of the bedroom door and head for the kitchen with slow, heavy steps; dragging your feet behind you.
When had life turned so monotone?
When was the last time you truly enjoyed yourself without thinking about work?
Why did you find yourself in an existential crisis before you’d even had your morning coffee?
You load the small coffee maker, pull out a carton of yoghurt and dump some into a bowl before reaching for the packet of granola standing on top of your fridge.
You grab a mug, pour some coffee into it, and shake up your oat milk before adding a splash.
Same fucking breakfast each day.
Moving to the living room, you curl into yourself on your sofa, turning on the same morning show you always watch as you sip your coffee and feel a tiny bit of relief at the comfort that the warm liquid offers as it slides down your throat.
The unnaturally cheery hosts on TV are in the middle of some segment about reusing egg cartons when your phone vibrates. You already know who it is, tapping on the screen to see “mum” and her usual morning text, asking you how you're feeling and what you have planned for the day.
It's harder to pretend like everything's fine when it's her asking. She can always tell that you're faking it; that whatever you say is just an empty, repetitive attempt at assuring her that you are fine.
You don't really mean any of it.
And she knows.
You shoot her a quick reply, trying to ease her worries but not really having the energy to fully commit,
“I’m good, going to work and meeting up with Sara after”
A small lie, though you are planning on sending a text to see if Sara's available later. Regrettably, your weekly dinners had been reduced to monthly ones, but still.
Do it for mum.
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“Have you finished checking the reports I asked you to look over?”
Gwayne does not even spare you a glance as he comes up to your desk in the office, eyes glued to his phone and thumbs violently tapping the screen. He wasn’t the worst boss to have, but he certainly wasn’t nice or understanding either, promptly ignoring any signs of distress you were showing. You know you have been looking worse and worse as the stress of the job has settled in; skin going duller and bags under your eyes becoming more prominent. Yet, he stubbornly says nothing, relying on you to finish work swiftly without ever talking back or asking for some guidance.
“Yes, I just have to glance them over one last time before I forward them to you”, you answer, noticing how tedious your voice has become.
He hums, eyes still on his phone,
“And then I’ll need you to double-check that you’ve replied to any urgent emails before going home today. Would really fuck up my schedule next week if I’d have to keep track of your inbox as well”
“Yes, sure”, you reply before even taking in what Gwayne had told you,
“Wait, what do you mean? Next week?”, you question, seeing him briefly scrunch his eyebrows together before finally looking up from his phone, locking eyes with you,
“Yes, you have next week off, remember? Last chance to use up those paid days off you’ve accumulated, and the union has made it quite clear that we cannot give you a bonus instead”, he rolls his eyes at the last part.
“Week off? But I have meetings lined up next week, deadlines closing in”
Despite knowing that you probably need the break, you feel the familiar tightening in your chest as you consider all tasks you were planning on doing next week.
Gwayne, seeming to be done with the conversation, turns and walks away from your desk, eyes again locked on his phone as he replies, “Then you’ll just have to get it sorted today”
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“Well that’s lovely, sweetheart!”
Rhaenyra’s voice sounds relieved when you tell her the news of your unplanned week off. You had been forced to stay at the office for two additional hours just to make sure that you finished up any urgent business, resulting in you cancelling the dinner plans you'd made with Sara and consequently spending another evening by yourself at home.
“Why don’t you get away for a bit? You might enjoy a change of scenery?”, she asks.
You were too exhausted to even think about planning and booking a trip, replying “Yeah, sure” dispassionately as you stir the pot of pasta cooking on the stove.
All you want to do is lay in bed, listen to music and try as best as you can to turn your brain off; to not think about anything.
Contently brainless.
You don't want to think about how you’d gotten your dream job, just to realise that you despise it.
You don't want to think about how every day felt like a repetition of the one before, nothing exciting ever happening.
You don't want to think about the strong suspicion you have that every fucking choice you’ve ever made has lead you to a life that you detest.
“Why don’t you go visit Helaena? I know she’s misses you”, your mothers voice pulls you away from the negative thoughts spiralling in your head,
“I think the place is about two hours by train from Oldtown, out in the country. Maybe some fresh air would do you good?”
You knew Helaena had moved out to the country about a year ago, exhausted and overstimulated from the suffocating drain of the fast-paced city that King’s Landing is. She’d sent you a letter, not a text or a call, some time ago to let you know that she was okay and she’d love it if you came by to visit her.
“Mm, I do miss her…”, you mumble into your phone, thinking of the last time you’d seen her. It was Aegon’s birthday almost one and a half years ago. She’d seemed lost and sad. Like she often did.
Like you often did, nowadays.
“Yeah, maybe that’d do me some good”, you finally agree, hearing Rhaenyra let out a sigh of relief at your words. You know she's worried you’d stay home all week, doing nothing but dwelling in sadness.
“That’s lovely, dear! I’m sure she’ll be ecstatic to see you. You know Aemond lives there too, right?"
You’d heard that Aemond had left King’s Landing shortly after finishing his PhD as well. You’d been with your mum when Alicent called her, filled to the brim with worry over her overachieving son turning down a position at Oldtown University in order to move out to the middle of nowhere, claiming that he’d be "conducting private research".
You had actually been excited for him to move to Oldtown. Having some family close by would’ve been a nice escape from the loneliness of the city.
Besides, you and Aemond had drifted apart as you both grew older, despite being thick as thieves in your childhood.
Maybe it’d be nice to see him too.
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You lean your head against the train window, watching the city landscape make way for the lush greenery of the Reach in late summer.
Being trapped in the city you’d almost forgotten how beautiful it was here; a stark difference from Dragonstone, where you’d spent most of your upbringing.
It's not that you don't miss the sea. As a child, you'd loved the way the harsh, salty winds whipped at your face, leaving you wet and impossibly refreshed as you stared out towards the horizon, thinking of everything awaiting you there.
The potential of what your life could've become felt a lot more comforting than the reality of it.
You hadn't been able to call Helaena to inform her that you’d like to visit. Apparently, she didn’t have a mobile phone anymore, but after sending a text to Alicent you’d gotten a hold of her new number; a landline.
You didn’t know how she managed without a smartphone, but figured that the stress of constant notifications might have made her decide to ditch it.
Grabbing your bag from between your legs, your hand rummages through it in blind search for your pocket mirror.
You pull it out, open it and check your reflection.
Still the same tired face, with dark bags permanently residing under your eyes. You hadn’t slept well last night either, despite having some much needed rest from work.
Why was your body seemingly incapable of relaxing?
You feel around for some concealer, dotting a bit on your finger and patting it under your eye; a useless attempt at hiding the fatigue prevalent on your face.
Defeated, you lean back in your seat.
The train ride's nice. You spend the entire 2 hours and 12 minutes listening to music, watching the scenery flash by.
Thoroughly zoned out, you nearly miss the conductor announcing your station.
You hastily grab your bag and rush out of the door. The station, if you could even call it that, is small; just two tracks going opposite directions.
It's closer to a bus stop, a place where people get off and quickly make way to their final destination.
You spot Helaena immediately. She's standing on the platform in a lilac summer dress, her silver hair shining in the sunlight.
Although you can only really make out her silhouette, she seems different. As you come closer, the wide smile that she sports comes into view.
Gosh, she looks radiant!
So different from her gloomy, distant self back in King’s Landing.
“I’m so happy you’re here!”, she squeals, wrapping you in her arms.
She hugs you tightly, and you hug her back, burying your nose in her hair. It feels good to hug someone you care for.
When was the last time you did that?
“Thank you for having me”, you respond as Helaena pulls away, still holding you in her arms, eyes flickering over your face.
Her smile falters for a second before it returns and she starts talking excitedly about her new home, telling you that it’s only a 20 minute walk from the station and you could catch up on the way.
You follow her down the steps from the platform, answering a few questions about work and your life in Oldtown.
She leads you away from the small station, down a path where a few houses lay scattered sporadically.
You can hardly call this a town; far too minuscule. Still, you notice what seems to be a little supermarket, a pharmacy, a gas station and what looks like an elementary school, facing the tiny town square.
“I’ve been hoping you’d come visit ever since I sent you that letter”, Helaena gushes, taking your hand in hers as she led you down a small path going off the main road,
“I just know you’ll love our commune. Aemond thinks so too!”, she continues while squeezing your hand in hers.
“Commune?”, you ask and turn to face her.
She met your eyes and nods, face breaking out into a wide grin once again,
“Yes, Aemond’s research project! You know he specialised in philosophy when he did his PhD in Political Science, right? Well, he got really into the idea of having people live in smaller communities instead of the impersonal and detached lifestyles people pursue in modern cities”, she explains, eyes once again inspecting your face, only to land on the bags under your eyes.
You hum in response, seeing if she’ll continue.
“So, he used some of the money he had stored away in funds and created our commune; a small community where everyone knows each other and we get away from the stresses of city life. We grow our own crops, spend time outside and work together to keep the place running”, she explains, eyes gleaming with adoration,
“He said he did it for me, since he saw how bad my depression had gotten back in King’s Landing”, she adds, and you squeeze her hand affectionately. Aemond had always cared for Helaena, no one else seemed to truly understand her like he did.
“So, you feeling better now? Out here?”, you inquire, gesturing towards the green field you walk through, hand in hand.
You're not really paying attention to where you're going as Helaena guides you. Looking up, you find yourself surrounded by nature; not a building in sight.
The sun shines brightly, illuminating the beech trees towering over you, creating a roof of light green luminance.
“Yes, much better”, she replies with a smile. She seems so at peace here, encapsulating a kind of beauty that comes from within and hypnotises anyone laying eyes on her.
“And this, ehm, commune. How many people live there now?”, you ask, not knowing you’d be spending your time with a bunch of strangers.
Truth be told, you really didn’t feel up for it.
You barely have energy to hang out with Helaena and Aemond. Entertaining and getting to know new people would be especially draining.
“We’re already about 50 people. Most of them met Aemond when he was still in school”, she replies.
As if she could sense your uneasiness, her eyes search yours as she adds, “You’ll love them, I swear! Everyone’s super nice”
Together, you continue your path, walking up a small hill. As you look down, the commune comes into view.
You see small, cottage-looking houses, with large flowerbeds between them, filled with everything from herbs to vegetables.
There's a large building the middle of the field with walls much taller than the cottages. The building's made out of wood; a dark tone that contrasts against the light trees and green fields you’d passed on the way over.
Above the large entrance of the building is a large carving, resembling the seven-pointed star of the Faith.
Helaena, still excitedly chatting next to you about how lovely life is out in the country, pulls you towards the large building in quick steps,
“Aemond's dying to meet you! It’s been so long. I bet he’s in the Sept”, she explains, leading you through the tall, open door.
Your parents aren't particularly religious, which means you hadn’t spent much time in Septs and the like. Alicent’s family, however, were rather devoted; an integral part of the many faith's many fractions in Oldtown.
When you were younger, both Helaena and Aemond had spent a lot of time studying The Seven-Pointed Star. Still, the fact that they'd chosen to construct a Sept in such a small community shocks you.
Maybe they're more dedicated than you’d thought?
Entering the Sept, you recognise the back of a tall man with broad shoulders, a narrow waist, and long, silvery hair, tied in a low bun.
Helaena calls his name and he turns around, finding your gaze in an instant. His lone, purple eye crinkles slightly as he smiles at you, calling out your name in greeting.
Just like Helaena, he looks radiant; pale skin glowing, dress shirt and dark slacks perfectly ironed, and not a hair out of place.
As a child he was always so moody; volatile and sensitive.
Now, he seems so calm.
Too calm.
Like he was faking it.
“Welcome to our home. I hope the trip here wasn’t too draining?”, he asks, inspecting your fatigued face.
Seven hells, did everyone think you looked like the walking dead?
“It was a lovely ride out here. I’d almost forgotten how beautiful the country is” you answer, trying your best to sound cheerier than you look.
He hums at your answer, placing a hand on your shoulder, squeezing lightly. You can't make out if it's supposed to be an attempt at a greeting, or a way to comfort you.
His eye bores into yours,
“We’re so happy to finally have you here. Helaena will help you get sorted in one of our rooms and then I’ll introduce you to everyone”
His hand swiftly leaves your shoulder before he turns around, striding out of the large wooden doors of the Sept.
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Reconnecting
After a few hasty greetings, you retreat to the room Helaena and Aemond have assigned to you.
You're exhausted from being bombarded with impressions, and collapse on your bed, finding uninterrupted sleep for the first time in months.
Hours later, you wake up to the sun illuminating your room, a low knocking sound by your door.
As your groggy mind slowly realises where you are, you hear Helaena call you from the outside, informing you that breakfast will be served in a few minutes.
You get up and move to the basin placed in the corner of your room, splashing some water on your face, checking your sleepy reflection.
You instantly notice that the heavy bags that had seemed to be a permanent feature under your eyes have faded slightly, and you look better and brighter than you had in a long time.
Mood elevated, you move to throw on a flowy, knee-length skirt and a linen blouse, reasoning that something loose-fitting would match the sunny, late-summer climate.
Stepping outside, the air is crisp.
The sun provides warmth as it makes contact with your skin, a welcomed relief to the slight chill still lingering.
You notice that the residents of the small community have gathered by a long, wooden table placed in the middle of a field not far away from where you stand. You quickly make your way there, spotting Helaena. Her eyes light up as she sees you approach, greeting you with a wide smile,
“We always have breakfast together”, she explains as people move around you swiftly, placing plates of bread, yoghurt, pastries, fresh fruit and vegetables on the massive table.
You spot Aemond, hands behind his back and posture straigh as he observes the people scurrying around him. He glances at you, giving you a small smile and a nod before he returns to his previously stoic state, observing the residents while they prepare for breakfast.
Helaena reappears next to you, arms wrapped around 5 glass vases filled with wildflowers. You help her place them on the table, admiring how utterly beautiful the set up looks.
The commune, as you'd heard one resident call it, has a simplistic aesthetic. Most rooms are only occupied by whatever furniture’s necessary to maximise functionality; tables, chairs and beds made out of wood, decorated with nature-toned linens.
Yet, there is a beauty to it you’d hardly seen before; an appreciation for a simple charm that's often lost in the hectic mess of cities like Oldtown or King’s Landing.
You take a seat next to Helaena, eager to devour the delicious-looking food in front of you.
Though most residents are seated by now, no one moves to touch the various plates filled to the brim with mouth-watering food.
You look over at the end of the long table and notice Aemond standing, hands still clasped behind his back. He softly clears his throat, and the cheery chatter dissolves in an instance, all eyes shifting to watch the tall, silver-haired man standing before them,
“Good morning. I hope you all slept well and feel ready for a day of prosperity”, Aemond starts, eye moving across the table to acknowledge everyone present.
Most of the residents are older than both you and Aemond. You even heard that a handful of them used to be his professors back in King’s Landing.
You're still not sure how he’d managed to get them all to move out here, but as he speaks, you notice how intensely everyone observes him, taking in every word that leaves his lips,
“Let us pray”, he orders, and each one of your tablemates bring their hands up to clasp over their empty plates before closing their eyes.
Aemond sends you a look you can’t really decipher. You assume he wants you to partake in the prayer, so you lower your head and clasp your hands together as well.
Aemond pays tribute to all seven faces of the new God before thanking all residents for attending, voice calm and steady.
As the prayers end, everyone shifts their focus to the food. You feel unsure of what to try; everything looks so good.
Helaena makes the decision for you, grabbing your plate, loading it with bread and various spreads and toppings for you to try.
“You’ll love this”, she urges as she places the plate in front of you, lilac eyes eagerly awaiting your reaction.
She's right. Everything tastes divine and you eat until you feel like your stomach is about to burst.
Meanwhile, you try to engage in some small-talk with the people sitting closest to you around the massive table.
To your right sits Jayne, a woman you’d guess to be in her early fifties, with sun-kissed skin and kind, brown eyes. She tells you about her tasks at here, mainly growing herbs and flowers.
She shoots a quick glance at a dark-haired woman sitting by Aemond further down the table, explaining that she grows and tends to various plants which are grown at the request of the woman she’s observing; Alys.
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After breakfast you offer to help collect and wash up the dishes, feeling a strong need to be useful as you see all residents retreat to their respective tasks for the day.
As you circle the outside table with an already overfilled tray in your hands, you spot a tall figure appear beside you.
“Would you like to go for a walk?”
You look to the side and see Aemond standing there. He's wearing a dress shirt and dark slacks today as well, though his hair is left untied, cascading down his shoulders and reflecting the light of the sun.
He offers you a timid smile as he asks, mimicking the way he used to look when he was younger. It's a stark contrast to how he appeared during breakfast; authoritative and intimidating.
You return his smile and nod. Perhaps a walk would do you good.
He instructs one of the residents to take over your work and they do so without protest. You send them an apologetic look and mumble a "thank you" as you follow Aemond, who’s already set sight on the small path leading away from the settlement and towards the compact trees of the surrounding forest.
The two of you walk in silence, basking in the lovely scenery surrounding you. The light green trees seem to shimmer in the sun, and as you make your way into the forest, you spot a small river; surface reflecting the lush greenery of the leaves.
“How is life in Oldtown? Has my uncle been giving you a hard time?”, Aemond asks, eye looking forward as he breaks the silence.
You swallow and mentally prepare yourself before answering, not wanting to let him in on how miserable you’ve been.
“Yeah it’s been interesting. A lot of new challenges but I’m hanging in there”, you answer, and despite your attempt at sounding casual, the sadness residing within you drips through and stains your voice.
Aemond abruptly halts and turns to you, eye boring into yours as he contemplatively licks his lips.
“There's no need for that here”, he states, voice suddenly sterner than before.
“What do you mean?”
Your cheeks grow hot and your palms feel clammy as you grow embarrassed over how easily he sees through your fake cheeriness.
“You don’t need to lie to me. It’s only us here, I won’t judge you”, he replies, maintaining the intense eye contact between the two of you.
It feels like a dam bursts within you; a force so strong you're helpless to it, and your sight turns blurry.
Any attempts you’ve made to appear strong have failed and all that is left is the truth; that you'r stuck in a permanent state of misery.
Broken.
You feel your throat close up and you desperately try to swallow before answering,
“I ha-, have been feeling a bit, ehm, lost”, you admit, and as you finally utter the words, admitting to yourself and confiding in him that you feel disoriented, tears spill out of the corners of your eyes.
You try to take deep breaths to soothe yourself and regain some control over your emotions, but it's too hard.
Why can’t you pull yourself together?
Aemond regards you for a moment, allowing you time to process the sudden crash of emotions overcoming you, before he places a hand on your upper arm, gently dragging his fingers over the fabric of your blouse.
“You’re allowed to feel lost”, he looks into your eyes and there is something there; a tenderness you haven’t seen since you were both much younger.
You can’t stop the tears from flowing anymore as you weakly nod at his words, the lump in your throat leaving you unable to properly answer him. His seeing eye is so gentle as it gazes into yours,
“Many of us here felt lost, hopeless even. But the community we’ve built allowed us to reconnect with our inner selves; helped us feel happier”
He moves the hand that had been on your arm to your face, experimentally stroking your cheek. You lean into his touch by reflex, relishing in the feeling of his warm hand on your wet cheek.
“You don’t have to pretend here, not with me”
As he speaks you move closer to him, pressing your body against his and wrapping your arms around his torso, hugging him tightly, just like you did so many times in your childhood.
He understands what you need and hugs you back, holding you against his chest, softly stroking your hair. And despite the agony in your chest and the lump in your throat, you feel okay; escaping into his warm embrace to momentarily forget all your sorrows.
You stay like that for a while, bodies interlocked with each other as Aemond lets you cry. He doesn't say anything, continuously stroking your hair. It feels emancipating; crying your heart out in the arms of your uncle.
As your tears dry, you gently push yourself away from Aemond’s embrace and run the back of your hand over your cheeks in an attempt to remove some of the wetness. Aemond’s eye still looks gentle as he regards you,
“I know that life's not always what you thought it’d be, and leaving home is scary. But you’re with family now. Me and Hel are so pleased that you’re here with us”
You smile at him, saying a quiet "thank you" as he motions for you to carry on with your walk.
You continue to talk and catch up on what’s been going on in your lives since you last met.
Aemond tells you about his research project; how he believes that modern capitalism renders people mere objects utilised for profit by companies, consequently leaving them lacking agency and without a belief in higher powers, generating a generation of depressed, lost souls.
You take in everything he says. He speaks with such confidence that you feel yourself agreeing instantaneously.
In truth, you also felt like an object at work; a machine there to execute tasks, without any possibility to change your condition.
You listen to him talk so intensively you don't even realise you’re back at the residence.
What sounds like a fight in hushed voices pulls you away from your conversation with Aemond as you look up to search for where the voices are coming from.
You see one of the residents you had breakfast with, Jayne, kneel down in front of Alys, grasping at her apron and pleading to her in a quiet, desperate voice,
“I didn't mean to, please believe me!”
Shocked, you look over at Aemond who suddenly looks stern, wrinkles forming between his eyebrows. His eye's set on the scene in front of you, yet he does not intervene.
As you open your mouth to ask him what's going on, he grabs your arm and promptly leads you into the Sept, closing the door behind you.
“Helaena will meet you here, she wanted to show you her insect farm. Do not leave until she collects you”, he commands, voice stoic but intimidating, leaving no room for argument.
Before you have a chance to reply he quickly opens the door, and leaves.
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You spend the afternoon with Helaena, exploring her insect farm and listening to her tell you of all the benefits the farm provides.
Afterwards, you still feel the unease from earlier vibrate within you, causing you to feel restless. In an attempt to be useful, you offer to help some of the residents as they prepare the large outdoor dining space for supper.
You chat with one of the younger people there, a man who appears to be in his early 20’s called Jon.
He tells you about how he met Aemond. As part of his PhD programme, Aemond held some lectures for first-year students, and Jon had attended his class on international conflict and crisis.
They’d started talking outside of Aemond’s lectures and found that they had much in common, especially in regards to their view of the world, and what was wrong with it. Aemond had mentioned his wish to move out of the city with his sister, and Jon was intrigued in an instance.
You continue your conversation with Jon, finding him easy to chat with. He's surprisingly funny too, joking and making you laugh, easing your anxiety. Feeling yourself relax and grow more comfortable, you decide to pry a bit, confiding in Jon,
“I wasn’t brought up with the faith, so I have to ask. Why did you decide to build a large Sept in a small settlement like this?”, you ask as you help Jon place cutlery by the plates on the table.
His relaxed and cheerful demeanour stiffens at your question. His eyes leave the silverware on the table to meet yours,
“You don’t know?”
His face appears genuinely surprised, and his eyes are wide in question. Before you get a chance to answer, a raspy voice interrupts your conversation,
“Jon! How lovely of you to entertain our guest”
The woman who you’ve learned goes by Alys appears, emerald eyes locking with yours as you turn to meet her.
“I’m Alys, it is so nice to meet you”
She stretches out a hand and gives you a practised smile. Her features looks pleasant; far from how harsh they'd appeared when Jayne had been kneeling before her.
You try to smile back at her and tell her your name, though you suspect she already knows exactly who you are. You look over at Jon who appears nervous, hands fidgeting with a fork.
“I believe Aemond wants to see you, in his office”, Alys sight does not leave Jon, eyes boring into him, but you both know she is addressing you.
You can’t come up with anything to say or do; anxious to find out what it is that Aemond wants from you and desperate to get away from the intense, silent fight between Jon and Alys taking place before your eyes.
You shoot Jon a quick apologetic glance before moving toward the Sept, leaving him with Alys.
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Aemonds office is located behind the large altar in the Sept. As you approach, you feel yourself grow tenser; stiffer.
You quickly try to run your sweaty palms over your skirt before raising one hand and softly tapping your knuckles against the heavy wood.
Aemond calls for you to come in and you enter, standing awkwardly by the door.
What does he want with you?
Had you overstepped when you spoke with Jon?
Or will he let you in on what had happened between Alys and Jayne when you came back from your walk?
Something about this place and Aemond makes you unexplainably uneasy, but you're unable to pin-point what it is that reduces you to a mess of nerves.
Your eyes keep flicking up at Aemond and down at the floor. You can't maintain eye contact with him, his stare too intense.
Fiery.
“I heard you offered to help Jon prepare supper?”, he inquires. His voice is completely devoid of any emotions, making your uneasiness grow.
He had an eerie calmness to him that did little to soothe you; rather, it made you grow even more restless.
“Y-, yes, well, I only helped him with bringing out plates and such”, you rushedly explain, words pouring out of your mouth, “I'm so sorry if I overstepped or made a mistake, that wasn’t my intention”
Aemond beckons you over, pushing his chair from where it’s placed by the desk, holding out his hand. You grab it without a second thought and he begins stroking his thumb over the back of your palm, looking up at you, a sliver of sympathy evident in his dark gaze,
“Why did you assist him?”, he asks softly and you answer that you just wanted to be helpful; that it feels strange seeing everyone else work hard and not contribute.
Aemond hums and leans back in his chair, hand still holding yours.
“You shouldn’t do other peoples chores for them. Everyone here has responsibilities that they should conduct in solitude”, he explains and you nod, though you can’t understand the harm in helping someone with a menial task like setting the table for supper.
“Don’t worry, no one is upset with you”, he adds to reassure you that you haven’t wronged anyone. You feel yourself relax somewhat, letting out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding.
Aemond looks you over and his gaze stops at your shoulders, noticing the strain there,
“You are still so tense”, he notes and you hum.
Stress, working at a desk for over 40 hours per week and lack of sleep had left your body in a constant, rigid state.
“Come here”, he commands and tugs at your arm unexpectedly, making you stumble forward. His other hand comes up to wrap around your waist, placing you on his thigh.
He looks into your eyes and the close proximity makes you slightly uncomfortable.
“You’ve always been so nervous; anxious since we were young”, he says as the hand that had been holding yours travels down to rest on your clothed thigh. The arm he has around you midriff tightens as if he’s expecting you to move away,
“Let me help you relax”, he offers, voice soft.
With gentle fingers, he slowly traces patterns on your leg. You do not know what he means by helping you, but you trust him.
He managed to makes you feel better before.
You stay put on his lap and he takes that as permission to continue, letting his hand travel down to where your skirt ends, fingers caressing your knee.
A breath gets caught in your throat as his hand moves upwards, slinking in under the fabric of your skirt; warm palm softly touching the smooth skin of your thigh. Aemond lets out a sigh at the contact and you suddenly feel uneasy, squirming in his grip.
“Aemond, what are you doing?”, you ask, voice slightly panicked.
His arm tightens around your waist as you try to move, hand continuing its path up your skirt.
“Didn’t it feel liberating to ease the pressure within when you cried in my arms earlier?”, he inquires and you look at him puzzled.
He still appears stoic but the pupil of his eye is blown wide; enveloping his iris.
“Let me take care of you. Just relax”, he commands as his hand reaches the apex of your thighs, index finger coming up to touch your bundle of nerves over your underwear experimentally.
You gasp and try to squirm out of his hold again, but he is much stronger; body rigid as he holds you.
He moves his head down to rest in the crock of your neck, shushing your protests. His fingers continue their slow massage over your underwear, and you feel yourself grow wetter from his attention.
Both your mind and your body have frozen.
Although you know it’s wrong, you let yourself lean into the pleasure Aemond is providing you, feeling yourself drift away; mind letting go of your senses as Aemond's touch consumes you.
When his fingers travel to the edge of your underwear, sliding inside, it’s like a bucket of cold water is poured over you.
You regain consciousness, bringing your hand up to try and push his away,
“Aemond we can’t do this, don’t-”, you plea, embarrassed by the fact that you can feel the evidential stickiness of your arousal between your legs.
Aemond tuts at you and pushes his fingers to make contact with the skin of your cunt, delighted at the wetness that greets him,
“You want this", he speaks quietly into your neck, "You need this. Be a good girl for me and let it happen”
You sit in his lap stiffly and as you're about to protest once more, his fingers circle your clit, causing a startled moan to slip out of your disobliging mouth.
Aemond chuckles against your skin and presses a light kiss to your neck,
“I knew you’d like it”
His words feel taunting, and your cheeks sear with shame.
The conflicting feelings storming inside you do little to hinder the arousal you're experiencing.
As his fingers travel down to your entrance, you again feel your common sense slip away and pleasure overtaking you.
He gathers some of the wetness from your entrance and brings it back up to your clit, making you sigh in involuntary pleasure again.
He positions his hand so that the heel of his palm is right by your bundle of nerves, leaving his fingers free to tease your entrance. He stays like that for a while, teasing you while pressing his palm against your clit.
The pleasure builds inside of you at a rapid pace.
He slowly sinks two fingers inside and you cannot contain the loud moan that escapes you, grabbing his arm with both hands. You grip him tightly, but cannot bring yourself to pry his hand away like you’d tried before, the pleasure too overpowering.
He sets a steady pace, palm pushing against your clit and fingers continuously finding that spot within you that causes your thighs to shake.
Your breath grows heavy, pleasure tightening inside you rapidly, and suddenly you don't want him to stop.
You hear Aemond’s breath growing laboured against your neck as well, giving it his all as he holds you in place and pleasures you.
You bite your lip to not let more moans slip out as pleasure begins to consume you.
Why did it feel so good?
Your walls began to contract against Aemond’s fingers as your peak approaches, and distantly, you hear him encourage you to let go.
As you do, you let out a pleasured cry, soaking his fingers. Your body stiffens while pleasure shoots through you; traveling from your lower stomach to your chest and down your limbs.
Your body slumps against Aemond, who moves his face out from the crook of your neck, lips ghosting over the shell of your ear as he whispers,
“Good girl”
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Assimilating
You can’t take in anything Helaena is saying.
You watch her lips move, try your hardest to take in her words, but nothing sticks. You hum and nod in reply, but haven’t got a clue to what you just agreed.
Should you tell her about what happened in Aemond’s office?
What if she tells him?
What if she tells mum?
Bile rises in the back of your throat at the thought.
What if your mum found out what her brother had done with her daughter?
What if she found out how good he’d made you feel?
That you liked it.
The only consolation to your misery is the fact that Aemond is sitting where he’d sat before, at the end of the long, beautifully decorated wooden table, looking out at everyone as if nothing was wrong. Like this was any other supper.
Maybe nothing was wrong?
Maybe you'd just imagined the entire thing?
Still, you can't bear to meet his gaze. You continue to channel all of your energy into the conversation you were having with Helaena. Or rather, that she was having with you.
“So when the queen bee dies, her workers will select a new queen from the larva and feed her this special thing called ‘royal jelly’ to make her fertile”, she cheerily says, smiling from ear to ear,
“Everyone here in our community gets to focus their attention on their chosen topic of interest, mine being insects and biology. I’ve learned so much, nature is truly fascinating”
Again, you notice how elated Helaena seems to be here. Her eyes shine as she continues to tell you about her life in the country, tending to insect farms.
It's hard to imagine that this is the same girl who’d been a shell of a person before.
As children, she had developed a tendency to pull away from others, choosing to fold into herself and push the world around her away.
Seeing her this animated and filled with life should make you happy for her.
But it feels off.
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The following days go by quickly.
Sensing your need to feel useful, the members of Aemond's commune assign you daily tasks, like helping out with harvesting plants, preparing meals and cleaning up the Sept.
The building doesn’t seem to be used for ceremonies or communal prayer. Instead, the residents utilise it privately throughout the day; though you're not let in on their purpose.
Although not being too familiar with the Seven, you swear you could remember Aemond and Helaena attending services at the Sept when you were younger, not merely going there in solitude. Maybe they prayed together as well sometimes?
Another benefit of focusing on productivity was the distraction it gave you from thinking about what had occurred between you and your uncle three days prior.
Despite the initial disgust you'd felt, you had now decided that if you acted like it never happened, maybe it never did.
You’d sworn to never bring it up with Aemond, or ever tell anyone else for that matter.
He was still the Aemond you’d grown up with; the sensitive boy with a strong will, always on a mission to prove himself.
He’d always been a bit too ‘by the book’. Maybe he sincerely thought that you would enjoy it?
He might've read something about Freud’s theory on female hysteria and the power of orgasmic release, seeing the act as more of a medical procedure than a sexual encounter?
A weak theory, but still.
---
Despite helping out at every corner of the residence, you hadn’t seen Alys since leaving her with Jon.
But this morning, after Aemond had asked you to help the residents clean up the leftovers from breakfast, you spot her standing next to your uncle, talking about something in hushed voices while watching the residents tidy up.
Although you'd only spent a few days here, Aemond and Alys' position at the top of the hierarchy of the small community was evident.
They both had an air of authority about them that was hard to overlook, making the pair appear intimidating in a way that only a strict superior could.
Yet, they both choose to be soft spoken whenever they address the residents, often complimenting them on their diligent work.
Observing the duo, you notice Aemond nod towards you, which prompts Alys to approach, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder,
“I’d like for you to help me today”, she states, and although her voice is soft, as if asking a question, there seems to be no room for disagreement.
She ushers you to follow her as she makes way towards one of the almost overflowing flower beds; copious plants fighting for space.
Like every day since your arrival, the weather is practically perfect; sunny but with a comforting breeze passing through the fields. Alys reaches for two weaved baskets resting against the small cottage wall close by and hands you one before kneeling down by the flower bed. You follow her, admiring the abundance of herbs in front of you.
You’d never witnessed such a variety of plants grow so vigorously together. You’d hardly thought it to be possible. Maybe the weather and temperature conditions here were optimal? Or maybe they’d genetically modified the crops?
Alys' gentle, low voice breaks the silence,
“How has the stay here been for you so far?”
Even though you’d told yourself; decided that you’d never think about what had happened between you and Aemond in his office again, her questions forces your mind back there.
Sitting on his lap. His fingers inside you; stretching you out.
You shake your head slightly in an attempt to erase the thought.
You’re never going to think about that again.
You can’t.
“It’s been great. Everyone’s so welcoming and I’ve been able to spend a lot of time with Helaena”, you reply, focusing on the positive aspects of your visit.
It was all true; during your time here you’d felt welcomed and comforted. Cared for, even.
“That’s lovely”, Alys replies with a smile as she begins to pick basil leaves off the thin stem of the plant. “We’ve worked hard to create an environment where our residents can thrive, just like you seem to be doing”, she explains and your forehead wrinkles in contemplative confusion.
Are you thriving here?
You certainly look a lot better.
Your skin has almost started to glow. You wake up in the mornings feeling refreshed and rested.
But that could just be down to the fact that you’d found uninterrupted sleep. Plus, the appetising food served here seems healthy, consisting of ingredients the residents grew and prepared themselves.
“Well, the fresh air and delicious meals certainly help one thrive”, you reply with an unconvinced chuckle.
Alys’ eyes light up as they sweep over your face,
“You enjoy the food? I’m happy to hear that. I’ve put all of the past year's energy into curating the plants, grains and menu here”, she tells you, pride causing her to straighten up, sitting a bit taller.
“You truly have a gift, Alys. Any tips for an amateur like me?”, you inquire, relaxing a bit now that the conversation has taken a lighter turn.
She smiles at you and pulls out a small, green tin from the large pocket in the middle of the apron she’s wearing. She opens the lid and pulls out brass spoon. It’s filled with what looks like dirt, or clay, and smells similar to a compost.
Your nose wrinkles as she scoops some of the brown mush inside the tin onto her spoon, placing it by the plant's roots before firmly patting it down with the back of the utensil.
“I was doing my PhD at King’s Landing University before moving here. I was researching phytotherapy”, she explains as she scoops out another spoonful of brown mush from the tin and moves to add it to the next plant's roots.
“I was in my final year, fully consumed by my dissertation. Despite loving the topic, I was so stressed by my academic career that I seriously considered dropping everything and moving back to Harrentown. Then, I heard my professor tell me about this brilliant young man in the Political Science department”
Speaking about Aemond, her eyes almost look dreamy,
“His ideas were so radical, yet so natural, you know? He wanted to create a community where people were allowed to pursue their passions without the stressors of modern society. Where the Seven provide enough guidance”
You feel uneasiness creep up your spine. Her facial expression is almost trance-like as she talks about Aemond; as if he's a deity, ready to be worshipped.
“Well, modern society provides us with plenty of comforts as well, don’t you think?”, you counter with a strained laugh, trying to ease the mood a bit,
“What would you do if, like, one of the members got sick?”
Alys huffs a laugh as well and smiles to herself as she eyes the tin in her hand,
“We always get by”
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After a quick lunch break, you continue to help Alys with various tasks around the residence; picking flowers, vegetables and herbs for her, plucking out weeds and organising seeds for future harvests.
You’d never seen seeds like the ones she showed you before; pitch-black in colour and almost supernaturally round.
When she saw your expression, she snorted a laugh and explained that they were from Yi Ti, used by herbalists for centuries.
She did not, however, answer you when you asked what they were going to be used for.
Although her presence had felt intimidating at first, you'd now grown calm around Alys. Something about her was almost bewitching.
Like the way her emerald eyes would lock with yours whenever you spoke, or how graciously she moved about the commune, greeting each resident in a gentle voice.
You also noticed that they never met her gaze, eyes cast down as she approached, only uttering a few polite phrases before rushing away.
Feeling more at ease spurred your confidence, and so you ask her what you’ve been aching to know for the past days,
“The other day…-", you begin with a wavering voice,
"-What happened between you and Jayne?”
You try to sound as casual as possible, but it only makes you sound strange.
Alys, who’s been picking some wildflowers from one of the fields close to the residence, doesn’t slow her pace for even the briefest of moments as she answers you, eyes still on the stem of the flower in front of her,
“Nothing for you to worry about”
She plucks the flower and gently places it in her weaved basket before moving to the next one.
“Okay”, you reply with uncertainty, “She seemed very upset though”
Alys finally looks up from the flowers she’s plucking and meets your gaze,
“Actions have consequences. I’m sure you know that. But with the justice of the father and the grace of the mother, mistakes can be forgiven”
Her face is much sterner than before. The comfort of familiarity that had blossomed between the two of you disappears in an instance, and you feel uneasy as her eyes narrow.
“Jayne has been forgiven and we will move forward. Just like how Aemond forgave you”
Alys turns around and quickly makes way towards the Sept, disappearing inside and closing the door behind her.
Forgave you for what?
For what happened in Aemond's office?
Did she know about that?
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As the members of the commune prepare for supper, you go back to your room to have some time to yourself, mindlessly scrolling your phone while lying in bed.
The reception out here's not great, and now that you think about it, you hadn't seen any mobile phones during your stay, only a land-line hanging on the wall in Aemond's office.
After what happened with him, your mind had been too preoccupied to put any focus on replying to messages. You see a few from your mum and send her a quick reply to let her know that you’re doing well.
Seeing her name appear, you feel uneasy; like she knows of the secret you harbour. You feel guilty. And disgusted.
A sudden commotion outside throws you back into reality; back into the commune.
You hear raised voices, some sounding familiar, and you swiftly place your phone in your pocket before heading out.
You see Jon, eyes wide and face pale, on his knees in front of Aemond, mimicking how Jayne and Alys had looked a few days ago.
Aemond’s face is hard to read.
He looks stoic, yet his eye is furious; dark gaze glaring down at Jon.
Unlike Jayne, Jon doesn’t say anything. He raises his hands in surrender and locks eyes with Aemond; wordlessly pleading.
But for what?
By now, many of the residents have gathered around the two young men. Some look scared, others intrigued.
“Do you believe the Father to be just?”, Aemond’s soft voice asks, contrasting his utterly frightening appearance. Jon nods eagerly, eyes wide in panic.
“Then you’ll accept a punishment befitting the sin you’ve committed?”
Jon stiffens slightly, but eventually lowers his head in a slow nod. His eyes cast down to the ground; head hanging in surrender.
Aemond hums and pulls out a knife from the inside of the jacket he’s wearing over his usual white shirt and dark slacks.
It’s one you recognise. It had been gifted to Aemond on his 12th birthday by your grandfather, who’d declared that he was now a young man; a young Targaryen man, and therefore needed his own reminder of his Valyrian heritage.
Aemond flips the dagger in his hand as he regards the man before him, holding his hand out in an invitation to Jon. He wordlessly places his hand in Aemond’s, and you can now clearly see that he is shaking.
Aemond turns his hand so that he’s holding the back of it, Jon’s palm turned upwards,
“Mistakes can be forgiven, but justice must prevail”, Aemond speaks. His voice is louder than before to address the crowd gathering around him and Jon. It reminds you of a lecture.
Perhaps this is how he'd conduct classes at university?
The residents around you murmur in agreement. Aemond raises the dagger in his hand, eye cast down to make contact with Jon’s. He’s trembling out of fright and Aemond almost looks pleased at the display in front of him,
“We all need reminders of our wrongdoings, to prevent us from repeating them. Whenever you lose sight of the light, Jon, this will remind you to seek out the guidance of the Seven”, Aemond’s calm voice rings out as he suddenly presses the dagger into Jon’s palm.
He grunts in pain as the blade breaks his skin and blood flows freely from his hand. Aemond’s knuckles are white from the force in which he’s holding onto Jon’s hand, refusing to let the younger man go, staring into his eyes with a look so intimidating it demands submission.
You can’t take in the scene in front of you; can’t comprehend what’s happening.
As reality slowly comes back to you, you try to speak up, try to tell Aemond to stop, but your body doesn’t obey you; frozen in shock.
The other residents watch quietly, not making a sound as Aemond and Jon stay still, blade still penetrating Jon’s palm as his mouth winces in pain.
Your uncle finally pulls away from Jon, gesturing for Alys to move forward. She quickly pulls out some gauze from one of the pockets of her apron and kneels down next to Jon, gently wrapping it around his palm; blood pulsing out furiously.
Aemond’s stoic facade seems to falter slightly as his breathing turn laboured; jaw shut tight. He appears agitated, giving Jon and Alys one final look before stalking away towards the nearby path leading to the forest where he’d taken you for a walk a few days prior.
Your body finally obeys you as you call out his name in an urgent voice,
"Aemond!"
What the fuck had you just witness?
Aemond doesn’t turn around. He walk away in quick, angry steps, silhouette growing smaller and smaller. You throw a quick glance at Jon, whose face is even whiter than before, gauze around his palm already dark red with blood seeping through it.
You cannot bear to take in the gory sight, a thousand questions going through your head. You need answers, so you make your way towards where Aemond had disappeared.
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The path into the forest grows blurrier as a thick fog settles over the commune. Still, you make your way towards where Aemond had disappeared, determined to confront him about what you’d just witnessed.
You spot a form in the white mist, sitting on a stump with his head in his hands. You approach quickly, thoughts still spinning in your head.
What was that all about?
Why did you cut Jon?
Why did he agree?
If he did agree, that is.
The fear that was etched on Jon’s face as he knelt before Aemond made you shiver. He’d seemed so scared of him; scared of what he might do to him.
Still, no one had interfered as your uncle cut the hand of one of the members of their community.
Is this the norm?
Aemond looks up as he hears your footsteps approach, face as unreadable as always.
“What the fuck was that, Aemond?!”
Your voice is shrill and accusing. Your eyes seek out his as you stop before him; expression furious and chest heaving.
“You need to call a medic or something, Jon’s bleeding heavily!”
Your cheeks feel hot as fury rolls through your body, setting it alight.
It’s amplified by the seemingly unrepentant state of the man before you.
“Don’t question how we do things here”, he warns, eye just as furious as it had been before,
“Jon knew the consequences of stepping out of line. We all do”.
“What could he have done to make you mutilate his hand?!”, you counter. You still can’t fully comprehend what had happened mere moments ago.
Had you just witnessed bodily mutilation in the name of religion?
Aemond clicks his tongue, displeased with your accusations. He tries to school his face into a calmer demeanour as he looks you over,
“Sit down and I’ll explain”, he offers, gesturing for you to take a seat on the damp grass in front of him.
Despite your initial desire to defy him, purely out of spite, your curiosity wins as you take a seat in front of the stump where he sits.
“Everyone living here has consented to our communal agreement”, he begins. You can’t help the scoff that slips out. He continues,
“One of the reasons why people feel so depressed and out of place is due to the secularisation of the modern world. They’ve lost their connection to the Seven; lost sight of the light. A belief in the divine brings us closer together. Closer to the seven faces of the God”
“You all need help if you believe that physical violence will bring you closer to the gods”
It's hard to hide the disgust in your voice. Aemond’s jaw shuts tightly and the calmness on his face looks forced,
“Help me then”, he bites back, irritation penetrating his serene facade. “Pray with me”.
He grabs both your hands suddenly and traps them in his, lowering his head as he recites a prayer you haven’t heard before.
You try to pull your hands away but his grip is iron-like as he continues to mumble the prayer under his breath.
After a while, he grows quiet, yet keeps the grip around your hands. You look up at him. He's already awaiting your gaze.
Aemond looks like he’s contemplating something; different from his usual, determined state.
“Maybe you should help me like I help you; easing the pressure from within”
His hands pull yours towards the zipper of his slacks. Your body freezes in shock for a brief moment, then quickly pull away from him in reflex.
His grip on your hands is tight. He'd anticipated you'd fight back.
He brings your hands towards his crotch, now in such a tight grasp that your fingers ache. There's a hardness there, and your mouth goes dry, a rush of anxiety go through your body,
"Aemond, no, not aga-", you begin but he cuts you off.
“Would you prefer it if I told Helaena what you let me do to you in my office?"
His voice is foreign; cold and uncaring.
This is not the Aemond you know. The one who let you cry out in his embrace.
This is the Aemond they know.
"Or should I tell my other sister?”
You feel cold all over, shivering at his words.
A threat.
He lets one of his hands leave yours and undoes his zipper. He pulls out his length; already hard and furiously red.
You’re once again consumed by feelings of unreality.
This can’t actually be happening, right?
Aemond grips one of your hands, grasping it painfully hard as he pulls it towards his cock.
He presses into the sides and bends your fingers so they circle around him; much larger hand enveloping yours as he forces you to cool his desire.
He sets a fast pace; letting you know exactly how he likes it. His other hand moves towards your mouth, stunning you yet again as he pushes two fingers into your mouth.
Before you have a chance to pull your head away, he brings his spit-covered fingers down to your hand - the one he's using to pleasure himself with - and smears your saliva over the palm before guiding it back to his length again.
As your slick hand makes contact with his burning flesh once more, he grunts and closes his eyes; brows knit together in bliss. He lets you continue the motion by yourself, hands falling to the sides of his lap.
In the middle of this surreal experience, you can’t help but look up at him, admiring his beauty.
Such an intimidating man, instilling fear in so many around him, currently at your mercy.
You almost feel a headrush at the thought; having Aemond in the palm of your hand. Literally.
The continuous friction of your hand against his flesh removes some of the stickiness, and you hear him let out something similar to a whine as your hand grows drier.
His previously intimidating features suddenly look pleading as he gazes down at you, asking you to just comply.
Just give him this.
Without much thought of the consequences, instead of licking your palm, you move your head toward his length, darting your tongue out and licking a stripe over his tip. He lets out a surprise moan, and the unexpected feeling of pride rushing through your body makes your stomach turn.
You are not enjoying this!
Still, the praise travels down and settles in your core, causing a dull throb to pound between your thighs.
Then why does it feel so good to be praised by him?
You continue to pleasure him with your hand, though Aemond’s eye has traveled down to observe your mouth. His gaze occasionally flickers down to your clothed chest, peeking at the sliver of cleavage visible from above. One of his hands grasp your chin,
“Do that again”, he commands, and the disgust you'd felt towards yourself swirls in your belly again.
You shake your head, “No”
He lets out a grunt, hand still on your jaw as he slowly and firmly brings your head closer to his manhood.
Like before, you try to push away from him, to gain some sense of control, but he is far stronger than you,
“You do as I say”, he counters, and in one swift motion, he pulls your head towards his cock with such force that you nearly knock your forehead against his stomach.
As you part your lips to protest, he pushes himself inside of your hot, wet mouth, sighing in relief.
You feel panic come over you as you try to pull away, but he quickly places both hands on your head; keeping you in place.
“Breath through your nose. Be the good girl I know you are”
He grunts and begins to buck into your mouth.
You place your hands on his thighs in another feeble attempt at escaping his assault on your mouth, but to no avail. He drags your face over his length, palms moving to grab each side of your head as his movements grow quicker. You gag slightly.
“You feel so fucking good”, he breaths out, voice drunk on lust,
“You look so fucking good with my cock in your mouth, you know that?”
It feels like he's mocking you. It sounds like he adores you.
His thumb gently brushes away some of the strands that has fallen over your face.
The want in between your legs throb. The disgust in your stomach rumbles. You know that his words of praise shouldn’t make your underwear sticky.
But they do.
Your eyes water as he continues to fuck your mouth, not giving you any rest. You try to whine against him to make him stop; to at least let you come up for air, but he takes your sounds as moans and groans, moving in your mouth faster and harsher.
Finally sensing your need for a break, he manoeuvres your head off of his cock. You pant heavily as you gulp for air; lungs hurting from the sudden, sharp inhale.
A string of saliva connects your lips to his length, and his eye seems to be even more lust-filled as he moves his hand to caress your flushed cheek.
Even in this selfish, pleasure-driven madness, he regard you with fondness.
“Aemond, please, we can’t do this”, you plea.
His gaze flickers from your spit-soaked, swollen lips to your cleavage, and then back.
He doesn’t grant you a reply as he stands up abruptly, taking advantage of your startled state and shoves his length back into your mouth.
Your hands instinctively come up to his legs to have something to hold onto as he fucks your face with even more vigour than before, swearing under his breath.
You feel disgusted at the vicious arousal pooling in your stomach, seeping out of your core.
How could something so degrading feel so sensual?
How could you feel aroused by your uncle using you like this?
Aemond moves his hands to the back of your head, pushing you so that your nose makes contact with the hairs at the bottom of his stomach. He pushes his hips against you harshly and lets out a prolonged grunt.
You gag and stifle a cough, feeling his hot liquid fill your throat, then your mouth.
He slowly pulls away, hands still gripping your head as his eyes return to their wholly intimidating appearance,
“Swallow”, he demands, placing a large palm over your mouth, blocking your nose as well.
You know that you have no choice but to oblige him and force the sticky, salty fluid down your throat with a wince.
Aemond gives your kneeling form one last once-over before letting out a hum, swiftly putting his cock back into his trousers.
Without another word, he leaves, and you're left on your knees by the stump, fog now so thick that you can hardly see the path leading back to the residence.
You wipe away the spit trailing from the corner of your mouth with the back of your hand before standing on shaky legs.
Could you pretend like this never happen either?
As if in a trance, you make your way back to the commune; head filled with thoughts, yet too exhausted to comprehend anything.
You move to the basin placed in the corner of your room, reaching for your toothbrush without looking up at your reflection in the mirror.
You brush your teeth three times, reapplying tooth paste as the lather in your mouth disappears.
You want to get the taste of him out of your mouth.
It doesn’t go away.
Realising that you’ve been carrying your phone in your pocket this whole time, you tap the screen. A few new message from your mother and brother.
You hadn't even noticed.
Without checking, you turn your phone off, tossing it in your bag as you make your way to the bed.
You feel exhausted. Disgusted. Aroused.
This can’t be real.
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Forgiving
The sheets of the bed are soft against your skin.
The rays of the morning sun shine through your window, and in the glow of the day’s early hours, you feel rested; comforted by the cosiness of your bed.
As you turn to the side, snuggling into the duvet, you wonder why this comforting place ever caused you to feel unease.
And then you're reminded of last night.
The memory makes a shiver go down your spine and your body trembles; trying to shake the chill away. Still, the feeling crawling under your skin doesn’t quite disappear.
Usually, you wouldn’t be able to sleep in the anxious state you’d been in last night.
Yet, for some reason, as soon as your head touched the cool pillow, you’d fallen into uninterrupted slumber.
Though your mind was spinning from all the conflicting thoughts you were having, your body was surprisingly relaxed; well-rested and freed from tension.
You’re hungry too, you notice. The rumble in your stomach vibrates, prompted by the clatter of the residents preparing for breakfast outside.
Without much thought, you get up, get ready and head outside. The warm rays of the sun greet you and you have to squint in order to see who’s already seated at the long table.
To your surprise, you’re met by the same scene as the last couple of days.
Aemond is standing by the edge of the wooden table, speaking with Alys. Jon is carrying bread in a large basket, carefully placing a few buns in each empty bowl placed on the table. Helaena is fussing over the wildflowers adorning the table, laughing as Jayne tells her something you can’t make out.
The scenery is still perfect, despite what had occurred the day before between Aemond and Jon.
Between Aemond and you.
You walk towards the table and take your usual spot next to Helaena, offering her a strained smile as she greets you. You’d thought keeping up appearance would prove to be a true challenge, but right now you feel oddly at peace; calm even. And hungry.
As soon as Aemond finishes thanking the Seven in his morning prayer, you begin to pile food on your plate.
Everything looks mouthwatering, the freshly baked bread still warm in your hand as you tear it apart and smother it in butter. You usually weren’t the type to have an appetite when you feel anxious or stressed, but today your uneasy state only works to amplify your hunger.
As you eat, the stress that had been causing nervous waves to ebb through your body stills, and you feel more at ease. Your mind is calmer, less crowded with thoughts.
Numb.
As you finish your meal, you look up from your plate to watch the scenery surrounding you, appreciating the lush greenery of the commune that had been lost on you before.
The rays of the sun shine through the gaps between the leaves of the bright green beech trees encircling you, casting a gorgeous glow over the residence.
Gods, it's beautiful here.
You look over at Helaena, whose hair seems to shimmer in the sun. Her smile only highlights her beauty; lilac eyes kind with a glint of something playful.
“Do you want to help me with my insect farm today? I’m going to go check on the crickets now after breakfast”, she asks, tone as pleasant and upbeat as it always is here.
“Sure”, you reply, standing up to follow her.
She walks behind one of the small cottages, and an array of insect farms come into view.
They resemble little houses made of wood, and even standing a good few metres away, you can see insects crawling all over the wood.
Helaena moves between them swiftly, peeking inside to see how her favourite creatures are faring. You’d never understand her obsession with such creepy beings, but watching her now, you feel warmth in your chest. She looks so happy; so at peace.
This really is the perfect place for her.
She beckons you over to one of the miniature houses and you approach her wearily, unable to hide the aversion you felt for the bugs.
Helaena giggles as she sits down on the ground to gain better access to the farm, nodding her head in a silent instruction for you to do the same. You join her, though you sit down slightly behind where she is, hoping she can provide you some distance from the insects littering each piece of wood of the farm.
“Are you sure you have to leave by the end of the week? I’d love for you to stay here longer”, she sighs, eyes fixed on the insects in front of her. She’s brought a small pouch with her which she opens, fingers digging inside for some seeds to feed her six-legged friends.
“I have to get back to work”, you answer, already dreading the inevitable.
The constant stress, the sleepless nights, Gwayne's endless nagging.
Would you be able to sleep as well as you did out here back home?
Would sleep feel as serene?
Despite all the uneasy situations you’d found yourself in, an unfamiliar sense of calm settles on your chest, pushing down your anxiety.
Maybe things would be easier if you stayed out here? Just for a while longer?
You're pulled out of your thoughts as Helaena speaks up again, eyes still on the farm, hand now buried deep within its walls, placing seeds inside for the insects to fight over.
“I think you’d be better off here. I saw you in a dream, you know. You were smiling, wearing a beautiful crown of flowers, holding hands with Aemond”
You feel yourself stiffen.
“He told me you’d come when he invited me to live with him here”, she continues, eyes finally straying away from the crickets; meeting yours.
You want to tell her about what happened, but the words seem stuck in your throat.
Would she believe you?
Would she be disgusted with you?
“Hel, I-”, you begin, choking as tears well up in your eyes. You try to clear your throat so that the lump of sadness suffocating you goes away,
“I-, I don’t think Aemond likes me”, is all you are able to get out as unexpected tears spill out from the corners of your eyes.
You wish you could tell her more, but your body doesn’t obey you; mind feeling foggy and throat closing up.
You can't sort your thoughts, or feelings, out.
“Oh, don’t cry, love”, she says as she wipes away a fat tear sliding down your cheek,
“There's no reason to feel bad. Aemond likes you. He would never do anything to harm you. He cares for you so much”
Though her voice sounds genuine, her gaze seems to drift away as she talks about her brother.
“He’s cared for you ever since we were small, you know. Do you remember that summer when we were all together on Driftmark? Before Aemond lost his eye?”
You swallow thickly at the memory.
“You remember when you two asked me to wed you out on the beach because you wanted to stay together forever?”, she asks, voice gentle and a knowing smile playing on her lips.
The memory causes you to spill more tears. Everything was so much easier back then.
“Don’t you miss how close you two used to be?”, she asks, compassionate and caring.
Yes, you do.
“Yeah”, you let out, voice thick from sadness. “But everything changed after Aemond lost his eye. He-, he didn’t want to spend time with me anymore”
You sound so small; your own words make you feel like a child again, abandoned by your best friend.
“Well, we’re here now, together. So that we can all reconnect. We’ve missed you”
Helaena moves closer to you, throwing her arms around you and hugs you tightly.
You slump against her, burying your face in the crook of her neck. Despite all the weird interactions with Aemond during your visit, Helaena had been a constant; brightening your days and making you feel seen.
She was always so happy to see you.
She was always so genuine.
You pull away once your sobbing ceases, giving Helaena one last squeeze before mumbling a quiet “thank you”.
She smiles, wipes her thumbs over your wet cheeks and locks eyes with you,
“You’ll feel better once you’ve settled in properly”, she says with a smile.
You don’t really understand what she means but nod anyway.
Agreeing feels good.
Agreeing feels comforting.
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As you make your way back to your cottage, you spot Jon by one of the flower beds, watering the abundant plants fighting for space in their wooden confinement.
He doesn’t look much different from a few days ago, but when he spots you approaching, his slouching shoulders go rigid.
“Hi”, you say, trying to keep your voice light as you draw near him.
“Hey”, he replies, smiling in a way that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
Your eyes instantly move to inspect his hand.
The gauze has been changed recently, clinically white and neatly wrapped around his palm,
“How’s your hand?”, you ask, curiosity getting the best of you.
“Fine”, is all he replies as he walks towards the next flower bed, away from you.
He tilts the watering can, letting the water rains down on the flourishing plants.
“What Aemond did to you-, I-, it’s completely unacceptable”, you say as you trail after him,
“You could press charges you know”
Not that you actually think Jon would, for some unexplainable reason he had seemingly agreed to getting his hand slashed. But you wanted him to understand that this kind of behaviour was inexcusable, even if he'd consented.
Jon’s eyes darken as he turns his head from watching the droplets fall on the flowers to observe you.
“Aemond knows what’s best. No point in me going against him”, he says in resignation, eyes shifting again, looking out at the endless fields surrounding the commune.
“Aemond acted like a fucking psycho yesterday, you don’t have to excuse his behaviour”, you try to assure Jon, shifting your body to move a little closer to where he’s standing.
His eyes go wide in panic, quickly looking around to make sure no one is nearby.
“Do not say things like that”, he warns, voice barely above a whisper.
“Aemond and Alys hear everything. They have eyes and ears everywhere, especially Alys. She sees much and more”
His eyes have grown impossibly large, resembling those of an animal pestered by a predator,
“They say the Father is all-seeing; knowledgeable on all topics. Almighty. There are people here who-”, he pauses as his eyes again dart around in a stressed frenzy, making sure no one is listening in on your conversation,
“- who believe Aemond is the human embodiment of the Father”
Jon’s confession catches you off guard and you let out a snort at his utterance. His panicked eyes narrow in anger at you.
“You haven’t been here long enough to have seen what I have”, he tells you with a sneer,
“You do not understand the power that he holds”.
Though you'd initially thought Jon was someone you could become friendly with, you now find yourself backing away from him and his evident madness.
Aemond might be smart, but he is no deity.
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You’re slouching in the rocking chair in the corner of your room, trying to read the book Helaena had lent you.
This is the third time you feel like giving up; mind too fuzzy to fully take in anything you're reading.
Why is it so hard to concentrate?
To distract yourself?
You’d planned on giving your mum a call when you retreated to your cottage, but couldn’t even bear to pick up your phone.
She had a way of knowing what you were thinking, without you even telling her. She knows you so well.
Too well.
She would sense that something's off.
That there's something you're not telling her.
What if she figures out what you and Aemond had done?
You’re startled by a sudden knock on your door.
Quickly standing, you rush to the door, nerves on high alert.
Aemond’s ducks his tall frame as you pull the door open, face level with yours. You feel that familiar shiver run down your spine, making your body shudder slightly.
He looks as impeccable as always; hair half up so that the silver strands stay out of his face, button-down shirt and slacks perfectly form-fitted and ironed to eliminate any trace of a wrinkle; any indication of a flaw. His eyepatch is securely placed over his damaged eye, long scar poking through the sides.
“Can we talk?”, he asks, voice low and gentle.
You’re not sure what to say, and move to the side to allow him inside. For some reason denying him feels out of the question.
You go back to the wooden rocking chair, sitting down and pulling one leg up to wrap your arms around yourself, a meek attempt at shield yourself from whatever Aemond has in mind.
He sits down on the bed, back stiff and gaze darting around the room before settling on you.
“I wanted to thank you for yesterday”, he starts, face stoic.
“Thank me?”, you reply by reflex, not entirely sure of what he’s referring to.
He can’t be referring to what happened in the forest?
“Yes. I really appreciate you helping me out”, he continues matter-of-factly. You’re stunned, mouth half-open in disbelief.
“And I wanted to apologise for leaving you after. That won’t happen again”
His eye never leave yours. He sounds so sincere it is hard not to take his gratitude and apology to heart.
Still, the memory of what you’d done causes bile to rise in the back of your throat.
Forgiving him and moving on would be so simple.
“It’s okay, Aemond, we don’t have to talk about it anymore”, you mumble, eyes looking down to pick at the sleeve of the linen blouse you’re wearing.
You’d rather just forget.
Move on.
Never speak or think about it again.
It never happened.
“Alright”
He’s silent for a moment before he speaks up again,
“I also wanted to thank you for coming out here to visit us. It’s been so nice to reconnect over these past few days”
There he is again.
The boy who’d been your best friend all those years ago.
Fierce and attentive at once; contradicting in every way. His timid smile is still the same, just as inviting to mischief as it had been when you were little.
You still can’t quite find the words to engage in conversation with him. Half of you wants to run away from his unpredictability, yet the other half wants to stay and bask in it.
“I’ve missed you”, he continues. You know he is genuine when you look up to meet his gaze.
You’ve missed him too.
“I’ve missed you too”, you confess quietly. You can’t seem to look away from his eye. It's almost hypnotising.
“Wouldn’t you like to stay here for a while longer? I can talk to Gwayne”, he offers.
“Oh that’s not necessary, I have to go back. I already know I have a full mailbox waiting for me”, you quip, trying to sound witty. Aemond’s face remains impassive.
“I always wondered why you decided to work with my uncle. Such a waste of potential”, he muses as he regards you,
“I think you could achieve much more if you chose another path in life”
His expression is serious, still his voice is gentle.
Like he’s telling you, not advising you.
Before you have a chance to reply he speaks up again,
“I’d like you to join a sermon we’re having tonight. You could benefit from some guidance”
You can’t come up with a reason to decline his invitation fast enough, and Aemond lets out a pleased hum at your silence.
“Six o’clock in the Sept”
He stands and reaches his hand towards you, squeezing it in goodbye.
He leaves your cottage and you watch him retreat to the Sept through your window.
The tall building truly holds an imposing aura; the seven pointed star sinister in its daunting simplicity.
Unsettling.
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You enter the Sept right before six.
To your surprise, all residents of the commune are already seated, sitting in rows leading up to the unadorned wooden altar; carvings of the Seven decorating all sides of it.
The only one standing is Aemond, right next to the altar.
Next to him is a chair, and as you walk towards where the residents are seated, Aemond clears his throat and gestures for you to take a seat on the chair next to him, facing everyone.
“Please, join me”, he says and beckons you over.
Everyone present is watching you expectantly, leaving you no choice but to join Aemond and take a seat next to where he’s standing.
“Our guest of honour, everyone”
His voice is soft, yet you notice a hint of amusement hiding behind his stoic façade.
He says a short prayer, welcoming everyone to the sermon and expressing gratitude to all faces of the Seven.
“Today, I’d like to talk about forgiveness”, Aemond explains, and you watch as all residents observe him diligently, eyes rarely blinking.
He seems to hold such power within these seven walls.
Such authority.
“Granting someone forgiveness takes strength, given to us by the Warrior”
The residents are silent, but you see a few of them nodding along to Aemond’s words.
Helaena and Alys sit closest to where you and Aemond are, watching you attentively.
“All actions have consequences, and we must be reminded of this to prevent us from repeatedly committing wrongdoings. When I was 10, I was taught the consequences of my actions as my nephew brought a knife to my face, taking my eye”
His tone grows colder as he speaks, and you feel that all too familiar shiver run down your spine.
Only this time, you cannot shudder to make it go away. It stays at the base of your back; taking hold of you and keeping you in a state of acute uneasiness.
“Though I was consumed by hatred after being robbed of my sight, the Seven provided me with guidance, showing me the light in the darkest of times”
Aemond moves to stand in front of you, one hand coming up to pull the eyepatch that seemed to be a permanent feature on his face away.
You hadn’t seen him without it since the accident, and you have to stifle a gasp as you take in the entirety of his face.
The scar that your brother had branded him with is still red, still angry as you follow it with your eyes; starting at his forehead and ending on his cheek.
The socket where his eye had previously been is surrounded by scarred tissue; healed but still furious.
In the empty socket lays a sparkling sapphire, almost appearing alive as the light from the candles in the Sept reflects upon its surface.
The contrast of the beautiful gem nuzzled in the red, vexed scar reminds you of Aemond himself; full of rage and beauty.
“I’ll tell you the story behind this scar”
He moves to stand behind you as his hands rest on the backrest of the wooden chair,
“I was enjoying a day at the beach with my dearest childhood companion-”
His voice is borderline mocking. In your peripheral vision you see his knuckles go white from to the tight grip he has on the backrest of your chair,
“- though she adored me as well, she never defended me against the nasty remarks her brothers would throw my way”
His icy voice heats with anger,
“Having had enough of their torment, I defended myself, much like the Warrior would have. Like the Father, I demanded justice for their unbecoming behaviour. Yet, when I gained the strength to defend myself against my tormentors, the one who was supposed to be by my side abandoned me”
Although you can’t see him standing behind you, you can feel the infuriated energy radiating from his body. You desperately seek the resident's eyes for some sympathy, yet find none.
“That-, That’s not what happened Aemond”, you try to protest, but your voice comes out too weak to truly make an impact.
“Is it not? Then enlighten me. Did you not leave me to defend myself?”
One of the hands he has placed on the back of the chair moves to rest on your shoulder, squeezing it harshly.
“I didn’t-, you were fighting and I didn’t-, I was going to get an adult!”
You sound as desperate as you feel. The gazes of the residents feels burning as they regard you with disapproval.
You still remember how an innocent fight between children had escalated as soon as Aemond picked up a rock, refusing to take in your pleas to just let it go. Not knowing what to do, you’d sprinted towards the family’s summer house to get your mum or Alicent; anyone who could help you de-escalate the madness on the beach.
When you came back, Aemond was on the ground, screaming as he clutched his blood-covered face.
The memory makes you grow cold all over. That had been the worst day of your childhood; amplified by the fact that Aemond had refused to speak to you afterwards. Though your families had managed to mend the broken bond somewhat, Aemond had never looked at you the same.
“The Seven tell us that sins can be forgiven, and though I have forgiven you for this”, he gestures towards his eye, “you were never made to apologise for your transgression. I’d like to offer you forgiveness”
“Apologise to me”
He pushes at your shoulder, gesturing for you to stand in front of the onlooking residents. You heed his instruction, turning so that you're facing him.
"Kneel"
You get down on your knees, looking up at Aemond’s imposing stature. He is frightening, the clearly satisfied state of his face haunting you.
“I’m sorry”, you say meekly; low and defeated.
“Come on, you can do better than that”, he encourages.
His voice is loud and with a hint of poorly concealed amusement.
“I’m sorry”, you repeat, this time louder.
“You’re not going to address me when you’re on your knees, asking for my forgiveness?”, he asks, tilting his head.
You bite the inside of your cheek, feeling your face grow hot from the feelings rumbling in your chest; rage, sadness, betrayal.
Why is he so intent on humiliating you?
“I’m sorry, Aemond”, you bite out.
He approaches you, hand stretched out to touch your head, gently stroking your hair. He brings his hand down to cup your chin, tilting your head so that you look up at him; meeting his purple and blue gaze.
“I forgive you”, he says, and despite sincerity being evident in his voice, you cannot help but feel like this is all just a farce.
The onlooking residents stay silent, but you feel their eyes observe you like flames against your skin.
The only sound coming from the audience is from Helaena, who lets out a quiet “lovely” as her smiles at you and Aemond. You eye her in disbelief.
Does she not see how fucked up this is?
As soon as the sermon finishes you dart out the door, speedily walking the short distance to the cottage you’re staying at.
You cannot bear to stay in this madness for even a second longer.
You slam the door open, grab your belongings and stuff them down your bag with force.
The sun is setting and you know that there are no streetlights out here, only open fields and forest. You'll need to find your way back to the station alone, Helaena’s clearly as mad as the rest of them.
You peek out through the door. No one seems to be nearby and you know this is your chance to sneak away without being forced to face Aemond, Alys or Helaena.
The sun is hanging low on the horizon as you quickly move towards where you and Helaena had emerged a few days prior.
You walk briskly, the commune growing smaller as you move further away.
The forest that had mesmerised you with its beauty slowly turns terrifyingly imposing as darkness chases the comforts of daylight away.
Though you're sure you’ve been following the way you and Helena came, you soon find yourself at a crossroads in the middle of two paths, not knowing which will lead you back to the small village where the train station was.
As you briefly stop to contemplate your options, a dark figure appear on your side.
Jayne’s eyes are kind as she offers you a curt smile, reaching out to take your hand.
“Come with me”, is all she says before moving in quick steps, pulling you along the path to the right. You follow without protests; you wouldn’t know the way without guidance anyway.
You spot what looks like a street light ahead and you feel your body relax at the thought of being close to the train station, soon on the way back home.
Finally you’ll be able to leave this week behind.
As you come closer however, you start to recognise the small, wooden houses. In the middle stands a large, looming building with lights illuminating the seven pointed star in the middle.
You try to jerk your hand away from Jayne, but her hold on you is iron-like as she pulls you towards the Sept.
“Don’t worry”, she tries to reassure you.
“Soon you’ll realise that this is where you’re meant to be”
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Prospering
Jayne forcefully drags you into Aemond's office, quickly exiting to lock the door from the outside. You’re still in shock, adrenaline pumping through your veins.
You inhale deeply, trying to calm yourself enough to assess the situation.
Everyone here’s deranged.
You’re outnumbered.
You could fight as hard as you like, and you’d still lose.
You start to nervously pace back and forth in front of Aemond’s large wooden desk, attempting to expel some of the nervous energy within you.
They wouldn't hurt you, right?
That’d be mad.
You think back to the true crime documentaries you used to be obsessed with. The best thing to do was play along with the madness and strike when they least expect it.
Make them believe you’re not a threat so they’ll trust you.
You just needed to keep your head cool and play along a little while longer. Then they’d take you back to the train station and you could go back home.
A sharp rap on the door pulls you away from your thoughts.
You hear someone fiddle with the lock before the door opens slightly and Alys slips through the small crack. You can hear voices outside, but they quickly fade away as Alys shuts the door promptly.
She gives you a nod, expression as calculated as it always is. She’s carrying two wine glasses in one hand and holding an opened bottle of wine in the other.
“Oh relax”, she tells you with a smile,
“Have some wine, it’ll calm your nerves”
She places the glasses on the desk, pouring you both a serving each before putting down the bottle and handing you one of the glasses.
“Here’s to a prosperous future”, she says, raising her glass and giving you a nod. You match her gesture, bringing the glass to your lips as you watch her take a sip.
The wine tastes like the ones your mum usually orders when you go out to eat; rich and with some lingering spiciness.
“Dornish red. Aemond’s favourite”, Alys states. Her delicate fingers are wrapped around the stem as she holds the glass elegantly.
She seems to do everything with grace, never faltering. Never appearing clumsy or out of place.
It's hard not to admire her.
“You know he’s only trying to help you, right?”, she asks.
"I-", you’re quiet for a while as you rack your brain for something to say that won’t upset her, “I appreciate that, but I need to get back home and-“
“Just let him help you, okay?”
Though her voice rises slightly at the end, it doesn’t feel like a question.
You know that there is no room for argument. Alys has maintained her calm appearance, yet her eyes are so expressive; the only part of her face that she can’t force into submission.
Their intensity make the hairs at the back of your neck rise, demanding you obey her.
She downs her glass before placing it on the desk, leaving you alone yet again in Aemond’s office.
It’s gotten dark now, the sole window in the room not providing much light anymore.
You continue to sip the wine in your glass as you lean against the desk next to you. The alcohol might provide you with some comfort; sooth your anxiety.
A soft knock on the door announces the presence of your next visitor.
Helaenas’ silver hair brightens up the dark room as she enters. She’s holding a flower crown in one hand, beautifully crafted with wildflowers you recognise from the bouquets always adorning the table outside.
“Hi”, she greets with a smile.
You nod back at her, still not quite sure how to appraise her.
She’s been one of the people you’ve felt closest to your entire life, yet she seems to approve of the mad things happening here.
How can she not see how humiliating Aemond’s actions during the sermon had been?
“I made this for you”, she says and hands you the flower crown.
As your hands touch, her fingers linger on yours, tips dragging over your knuckles with a feather-light touch.
“Thanks”, you reply curtly, not sure of what to say.
You want to ask Helaena for the way back to the train station.
Ask her to come back with you to Oldtown.
But she’s so different here. She overlooks so much, agrees to so much.
Always with a smile.
“Put it on”, she urges, hands moving to the flower crown to help you place it on your head. You want to protest but you’re so tired of it.
Tired of asking questions.
Tired of going against everyone.
“There”, she says with a smile as she regards you, face even brighter than before,
“You look so beautiful”
“Hel..”, you try, tongue coming out to lick your lips as you choose your words carefully.
She’s still your dear aunt; still Helaena.
“I want to go back home, Hel. We could go together, if you like?”
Despite trying to keep your voice even, you sound a little frantic.
“No you can’t leave now”, is all she replies, dismissing you. She doesn’t appear to be upset by your words though, lips still forming a warm smile.
“Hel, listen. What you’re doing here is not okay. Aemond maimed a man! And he humiliated me in front of everyone. Something’s wrong with him”
Your eyes dart all over her face and stature to assess her reaction to your words. You’re astonished by her indifference, almost like she’s not taking your words in.
She places a hand on your shoulder, squeezing lightly as her eyes lock with yours,
“All actions have consequences. We’re all made aware of that here. Aemond only wants what’s best for us. He’s worked so hard to provide us with this. You should be thankful”
She leaves you alone in the room once more, and as she exits, you hear her secure the lock on the door from the outside.
By the time you hear someone unlock the door next, you’ve finished the glass of wine Alys gave you.
The room is now illuminated by nothing but the light of the moon shining through the window, casting a silver glow over the office.
Matching the man entering.
Aemond’s tall silhouette appears, instantly making you straighten up, dread washing over you.
He has been so volatile during your stay here, making you feel unease by the mere sight of him.
You can still hear chatter and what sounds like furniture being shuffled around outside as the door is left ajar by Aemond, who moves towards you.
He stands so close to you that his feet are touching yours.
His face is stern, looking at you down his nose. Fighting the fright within you, you meet his gaze, refusing to give him the satisfaction of backing down too easily.
Still, you know that you’ll need to play your cards right, go along with the madness here momentarily, so that they’ll eventually let you go home.
“Why did you leave?”, he asks, eyes never leaving yours.
His voice is that unique mixture of being gentle and stern, demanding you obey him and tell him the truth.
“I tried to leave because of what you did to me during the sermon. What you did to Jon!”
You’re unable to hide the fear-laced irritation you feel at his audacity.
How could he expect you to stay? Wasn’t it obvious why you left?
“I might have been selfish for needing that apology, but it was necessary. Now we can move forward together”
He moves one of the hands he’s had clasped behind his back towards you, gently placing his it in yours.
Your gaze flickers down to where he’s holding you. Your hand looks so small and delicate in his large one. His touch is warm.
You scoff at his attempt to reconcile,
“Who said I’ve forgiven you for what you did?”
“You know you owed me an apology after leaving me alone with your vicious brothers that night”, Aemond says and he shuffles even closer to you,
“Do you think that what happened during the sermon can match the pain I felt when your brother took my eye?”
“N- no, but Aemond-"
“No. You’ll never understand the pain I’ve been through. But I’ve chosen to forgive you, and now we can move forward together”
His voice is slightly strained as he lectures you. His purple eye is piercing, and though you’d wanted to match his strength, you can’t help it when your eyes look down in shame.
“However”, he speaks in a lower tone, thumb moving to stroke the back of your hand,
“I am disappointed in your attempt to leave me and Helaena here without even granting us a proper goodbye”
“You’ll prosper here with us, but you’ll have to follow our rules. Dishonesty is not allowed, and your actions show that you attempted to act deceitfully".
His hand drops yours as he grabs your arms on both sides, swiftly turning you around and pushing on you back with a firm hand so that you're bent over his desk.
You’re too startled to fight back, letting out a yelp as you feel him tower over you from behind. He leans down over your body, hand still firmly on your back, pushing down,
“You have probably heard stories of whipping those who refuse to see the light. But I am no monster, so I will spare you from the whip”, he murmurs next to your ear, hand on your back trailing downwards,
“My hand will serve”
Before you’re able to reply, or even fully take in what he’s telling you, you feel his large palm make swift contact with your backside, the gesture causing a loud smack to echo through the quiet room.
You let out a startled cry in pain as you turn your head to face Aemond, confused betrayal reflected in how your mouth fall open and eyebrows rise.
His hand smooths over the material of your skirt where he’s just slapped you, somewhat soothing the painful sting on your skin.
“For being deceitful, I’ll give you five smacks. That’ll teach you to behave”,
The stoic gentleness of his voice borders on sounding amused as he takes in your shocked face.
Can you still play along?
What will happen if you resist?
While you’re trying to calculate your next move, Aemond’s hand land another harsh hit on your ass.
You sqeel from the pain, but quickly try to stifle the sounds coming out of your mouth.
Your painfully aware of the fact that he left the door ajar.
The residents outside might hear what’s happening. You feel tears well up in your eyes from the humiliation; from the stinging pain on your backside.
Aemond shushes you as he once again smooths his hand over your abused flesh in a comforting manner,
“You’re doing so well, my love” he tells you, eyes meeting yours once again.
You don’t understand why his words stifle the anxiety you feel, but they do.
“Only three more”, he states as he lands another stinging hit on your ass, even harsher then before.
You can’t hinder the tears that escape down your cheeks anymore.
“Good girl”, Aemond coos as he soothes your pain with his palm. Though the fabric of your skirt separates your skin from his, you can feel the warmth radiating off him.
Hearing him praise you shouldn’t sooth your pain, or make you feel better in the slightest, but it does.
You notice the soft look of satisfaction in his eye and you feel proud.
His hand lands on you quickly and you bite your lip desperately to not cry out. More tears slide down your cheek as you give Aemond a pleading look.
“Just one more, and then you’ve served your punishment”, he reassures you as he caresses your stinging flesh.
You close your eyes, bracing yourself for the last smack to land and when it does, you flinch before letting out a sigh of relief because you’d done it, you’d taken the punishment and now Aemond would be pleased with you.
The thought makes a warm sensation spread in your chest and when you open your tear-filled eyes, Aemond is already watching you with an expression that feels nothing less than loving.
While one hand stays on your backside to gently caress you, the other travels to you face, cupping your cheek. His thumb runs over your cheek, wiping away some of the wetness.
“You took your punishment so well. You make me proud”, he tells you, and his soft voice sounds so sincere. You lean into his touch on instinct, his palm providing comforting warmth to your cheek.
Being praised by him makes you feel happier than you’ve been in a long time.
It feels so good to be appreciated; to know you did something well. You can’t help but smile as your eyes lock with his. He smiles back at you.
“Now, I’ve got a surprise for you”, he tells you as he straightens up, grabbing your arm to link it with his. You know that there is more you need to talk about; more that’s unsaid. Yet, your mind feels fuzzy and you’re finding it hard to properly sort your thoughts out.
Aemond snakes his hand around your waist, pulling you closer to him and you lean into his warmth; it’s so comforting.
“Aemond, I-, I still need to know…”, your voice dies as you mentally search for a question.
What was it that made you leave?
Oh! Jon!
“Why did you cut Jons hand?”, you ask, hoping that the softness of your voice will prevent his impending irritation. You don’t think you could handle another punishment.
Aemond is quiet for some time, possibly pondering his response, before he speaks,
“Jon spoke out of turn, questioning my roles as the leader of this community. He now understands that everything I do is for the good of the commune and its residents”, he explains, arm still holding you by the side as his palm rests out on your stomach.
“Here in the commune, we know that scars tell a story; they remind us of our wrongdoings and guide us when we stray from the light of the Seven”
He stops in front of the door, turning slightly to look at you,
“You should be grateful I didn’t scar you, like I’ve done to others. Soon you’ll appreciate all that I've done for you”
He pushes the door to his office open, revealing the large hall where you’d been humiliated during Aemond’s sermon.
The residents of the commune are all facing you, watching you expectantly as you emerge from the office.
They’re all sitting on the exact same seats as before. The Sept is dark, illuminated only by the scarce moonlight shining through the seven-pointed star carved in the upper part of the buildings large walls, and by the candles lit across the room.
You see one of the residents standing by the altar where Aemond had stood during the sermon.
You recognise him as one of Aemond’s former professors in King’s Landing. The man is probably in his early to mid-sixties with grey specks clear in his brown locks. He offers you a smile as you approach with Aemond, his brown eyes warm and inviting,
“Welcome”
Aemond leads you to stand in front of the altar, arm still anchoring you to him.
“Is everything ready?”, your uncle inquires as his grip around you tightens.
“Yes. Let’s begin with the seven vows”, the elderly man says before reciting what sounds like a long prayer.
Having Aemond hold you makes you feel secure, and it takes you a while to really comprehend what is going on.
Why are the two of you standing here, instead of sitting with the other residents?
“Do you accept the seven vows, the seven blessings and the seven promises?”, he asks, warm eyes meeting yours.
“I do”, Aemond replies next to you, squeezing your waist in a silent command for you to do the same.
You turn to face him, brows furrowed in confusion.
What is it you’re agreeing to?
Aemond’s patience seems to run thin as you remain silent.
You notice his jaw twitch as he gives the resident in front of you a pointed look, prompting the man to respond in a quick nod before moving to join the onlookers.
Aemond turns to fully face you, yet he doesn’t move his arm, tugging you towards him so that your soft chest knocks against his.
“With this kiss, I pledge my love, and take you for my wife”, he says before he surges forward, crashing his lips against yours.
You stiffen in his grip, trying to back away from him but unable to move in his hold. You hear applause echo through the hall as Aemond retreats, a satisfied smirk on his lips.
You open your mouth to protest, but your voice is drowned out by the loud chanting of the onlooking residents,
“One flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever”
They abruptly stand, chanting over and over as they move towards the large wooden doors of the entrance, going outside to leave you and Aemond alone in the Sept.
Even after the last person has left and closed the door, you can hear them chanting outside.
“One flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever”
The slight tranquillity you’d previously found comfort in vanishes as you search Aemond’s face for an explanation; an answer as to what is going on.
His hand cups your cheek again, the loving look he’d offered you before you left his office still present,
“Your decision to leave tells me that you are lost. I’ll help you. I’ll help you see the light again”
You’re lost for words.
“I’m doing this for you. I know how much you crave to be loved. I’ll give you that. Just trust me”
His reassurance does little to calm your nerves as you feel dread pool in your gut.
“But Aemond, not like this, we can’t-”, you protest weakly. Despite the uneasiness taking root inside of you, your body betrays you as it still leans into the touch of his hand.
“I know how to fix you, just like I fixed Helaena”, he comforts you. His seeing eye seeks yours, silently inciting you to trust him,
“You were made for me, and I for you. I know you’ve been feeling lost for a long time. My uncle told me how depressed you were in Oldtown”
“The mother blessed women with wombs to heal their inner sadness. Becoming a mother will heal you”,
He pushes your body against the altar,
“We need to consummate our marriage, or it won’t be recognised by the Seven”
You feel dread settle in your bones as you take in his word.
“No, Aemond, please-, this is wrong! What would our mothers say?”, you desperately try to reason, panic making your breath quicker as he places his hands on either side of you on the altar; caging you in.
He lowers his head so closely that your noses touch, eye never straying away from yours,
“They’ll understand”
His lips find yours again. You know kissing him is wrong, yet your body melts into his touch as his soft lips press against yours.
Maybe they would understand?
Aemond’s tongue gently swipes over your lower lip, pushing to gain access. As he deepens the kiss, his hands travel down to your skirt, gathering the fabric in his grip before breaking away from you.
You’re both breathing heavily as you stay frozen, taking in each other's expressions. A thin line of translucent spit connects your lips and you notice Aemond’s eye flicker down to watch your kiss-swollen lips.
The conflicting emotions within you rage like the worst of storms, making your head spin. Aemond’s gentle prodding had successfully made you into putty in his hands, yet the uneasy feeling from before remains, steering you away from his control.
“No, no. We can’t, this has already gone too fa-”, you’re abruptly startled to silence as Aemond swiftly sinks down to his knees, pushing up the fabric of your skirt to expose your underwear.
You try to push your legs together but one of his hands quickly dart out to pull down the small piece of fabric separating your skin from his.
You place your hands on both sides of his head in an attempt to push him away, but his face moves towards your exposed centre with determination.
He grabs ahold of the outside of your thighs as he pushes your body towards his face, tongue immediately finding your bundle of nerves, swiping over it in rhythmic circles. Your grip on his head tightens as you push with all your strength for him to back away, but to no avail. He buries his face further into the apex of your thighs as he grips your tights painfully, fingertips leaving colourful marks of ownership.
You whine from the pain; from the pleasure building inside of you as Aemond forces your body into submission. He manhandles your right leg so that it rests on his shoulder, giving him further access to assault you with his mouth.
He sucks on your clit as he brings two fingers up to slide through your folds; the ease of which they glide lets him know the effect his touch has on you.
His fingers find your entrance, pushing inside to instantaneously curl forward, finding that spot inside you that always brings you waves of pleasure. You let out a startled moan as your hands go limp around Aemond’s head, simply resting there.
You close your eyes, violent pleasure making it hard for you to think clearly, just like how you’d felt in his office a few days ago.
Why does he have this effect on you? Why is he so good at this?
Why does it feel so good?
Another pathetic moan leaves your lips as he picks up the speed of his actions, purple and sapphire gaze watching you intently. You close your eyes once again, internally surrendering to his touch.
You want it. You need it.
You feel something ignite within you just as your peak crashes over you. The intensity makes your walls clench around Aemond’s fingers as you gasp in pleasure. Your legs shake from the force and you grab onto his hair for some stability.
He withdraws from you, slightly out of breath, and stands, large frame looming over you.
“No one else makes you feel as good as I do, no one else sees you like I do. We have found each other through the guidance of the seven, can’t you see that? We were meant to be”, he says and grabs your waist to hoists your slack body up on the altar.
He pushes your thighs apart, reaching down to undo his slacks and pulls them down just enough to free his length. It is just as intimidating as it had been yesterday; thick, veiny and ragingly red.
“You want this, I know you do”, he says before pushing inside you, causing you to whine at the stretch. You feel so full, and the impact of your orgasm makes your head feel fuzzy; like you’re floating away. Your walls contract around Aemond and he moans as he lowers his head to rest in the crook of your neck.
“You feel just as perfect as I knew you would”, he whispers in your ear. He draws his hips back, pushing them into yours with such force that your body jolts on the altar. You try to hold on to him with every harsh thrust, but your limbs feel too weak. It all feels so overwhelming, so good, that you can’t bite your lip hard enough to hinder the moans that bounce around the seven walls of the Sept.
One of Aemonds hands come down to draw circles on your clit once more. He pulls back slightly to watch you; to take in your pleasure-drunk expression.
“Let them hear you”, He presses down on your bundle of nerves harsher, still dragging his cock in strong, calculated movements along your walls.
The precision of his touch pushes you towards another peak, but when you feel it nearing, he withdraws completely, eyes flickering down to briefly admire the coat of your slickness adorning his manhood.
He grabs your hips, pulls you down from the altar and turns you around so that you’re facing away from him. Like in his office mere moments ago, he pushes on your back so that your chest makes contact with the wooden surface. He lets his cock glide through your folds before he leans down to mumble in your ear,
“Tell me what you want”
Robbing you of release has left you confused. Resigned and desperate, you let the throbbing between your thighs guide you,
“You, Aemond. I want you”
He pushes inside you again with a pleased grunt, picking up the pace quickly as he fucks you against the holy pedestal. Your hands grab both sides as it rocks in tandem with Aemond’s thrusts. His hand finds you clit again and this time you peak within seconds, pleasure washing over you as your legs turn into jelly.
You feel your legs give in, causing you to slide down on the floor. Aemond doesn’t let you go as he keeps fucking you, following you down to the floor. Your upper body jolts from the force of his movements, slowly slipping down to make contact with the cold stone floor.
He leans over you, pounding into you with force. One of his hands comes to rest above you on the altar, allowing him to fuck you harder, and you whine on the floor beneath him,
“Fucking take it”, he grunts as he goes harder, the contact of his hip bone against your abused backside sending stings of pain through your body.
His fingers find your clit again and you moan in pain-filled pleasure at the overstimulation, one hand reaching for his to push it away.
Aemond tuts behind you, “One more. Be good and give me one more”
You try to turn your head so that you can face him, but you’re unable to move, trapped under his body as he takes his pleasure from you. All you can do is take it; give in.
You cry out as you cum for the third time. Your walls clench down on Aemond’s length vigorously as they coax his release from him. You hear him sigh in pleasure as he fills you.
After a few moments, he pulls away from you, fingers moving to stuff whatever spend has trickled down your thigh back inside. You hiss at the pain. He whispers a gentle apology in your ear, helping you pull your underwear back up.
He stands and reaches down under the altar, picking up the flower crown that had fallen from your head sometime during the consummation. His fingers grasp it gently, placing it back on your head.
He looks so beautiful standing in front of you, the soft light from the candles and the silvery glimmer from the moonlight illuminating his features. He gives you another quick kiss before leading you out of the Sept to greet the residents still gathered outside.
As the two of you emerge from the building, beaming smiles, loud congratulations and well wishes for a prosperous future greet you and your husband.
Aemond never lets go of you, keeping you close to him as he chats with the residents; explaining his vision for the commune moving forward and the new role you’ll play as a permanent resident.
Somewhere inside, you know that you should feel ashamed over what just occurred; over the fact that the residents probably heard the entire ordeal as they patiently waited for you outside.
But all you can feel is bliss; a pleasant calm spreading from your chest. Heating up your insides.
Your life before now had been a long struggle, where you were forced to suffer. Forced to part from your closest childhood friend, forced to pursue a career to feel adequate, forced to live a mundane life in isolation.
Aemond pulls you away from the crowd, leaning down to whisper in your ear,
“Look up”
You see bright, green streaks of light decorate the dark night sky, accompanied by thousands of stars. It is the most beautiful sight you’ve ever seen.
Aemond tugs you even closer to his side, resting his chin on your head as you silently admire the northern lights together. All you can feel is his warmth, the safety of being in someone’s embrace. Of being in Aemond’s embrace.
It’s warm.
Comforting.
Freeing.
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Thank you for reading! 🩵
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luveline · 3 months ago
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hiii, could we please get bombshell!reader x spencer finding out they’re pregnant with baby no. 2 xxx
Hi thank you for requesting! fem, 1k
The second time, it catches you completely off guard. You still remember the afternoon you’d spent at Spencer’s apartment before you realised you were pregnant with Amy, your first, that nagging feeling of otherness that plagued you for days, and finally got too much to ignore. How Spencer had offered his hand, had sat you in the chair next to him despite it being a tight squeeze. You’d been more scared than you let on, quite hopeful, but you knew in a way before you took the test that it was already happening. 
You figure you have a pretty good idea of what being pregnant feels like, and when your period doesn’t come, you don’t pay it any mind. They’ve been spotty since Amy, on and off and on again. Spencer stopped trying to log it for you a long ago. 
“Mama?” 
You smile. It’s a rare day when Amy calls you ‘mama’: she didn’t spend long in the mama-dada region of time, moving on quickly to ‘mommy’. 
“What’s up, love bug?” you whisper. 
Amy —Amanda, Spencer’s idea, meaning ‘worth of love’— tilts her head back. Spencer swears she’s all you, but you can see both of you in her face, threads of your families. “Daddy’s sleeping?” she asks, her lips screwed into his pout, her eyebrows pulled into your worried pinching. 
“He got home late last night, remember? He’s just tired.” 
She frowns at his face turned into your thigh. “Wake up?” 
“Let’s let him sleep, okay? Sleep is important, it keeps us healthy.”
“You’ll play?” 
“I can’t, he’s sleeping in my lap.” 
“Push.” 
“We don’t push.” 
Amy, perplexed by this, clambers onto the couch despite her father’s entire body being in the way, and Spencer, so used to this mistreatment, doesn’t so much as stir. Amy slides into the space between his chest and the back of the couch and leans down to grin at his lax face. 
“Gonna give daddy a kiss?” you suggest in a murmur. 
Amy gathers the curls from his face and kisses his forehead, smack dab in the middle. 
Spencer’s breath starts to quicken. Amy senses a change and begins patting the back of his neck. “Shhh,” she says, uncoordinated fingers trying hard to be gentle as she pets her father. “Shush, daddy. Sleep.”
Spencer spends hours sleeping in your lap, until eventually Amy tramples him one too many times and his stomach growls its protest. He wakes, turning back, his hair crushed to your thigh, and when he sees you he gives you the same lovely smile as always. 
His teeth peek from behind his lips. “That’s a pretty sight to wake up to,” he says. 
It’s this sleepy afternoon together that means later, when you’re sitting on the closed toilet with a pregnancy test taken from four parts curiosity and one part responsibility, you’re unafraid of the result. You think of Amy’s small hands stroking Spencer’s hair from his face, her head under your nose as you’d cuddled, and you think of Spencer’s dozy smile and his months spent pouring over baby name books, and you know it’s all gonna be fine. 
“You alright?” Spencer asks when you make it to bed some short minutes later. His nap has left him wide awake. 
You climb into bed and turn out your lamp, laying down, curling in, a secret smile playing on your lips as he drags the blankets to your neck. “I’m good.” 
“What’s making you smile?” he asks. 
You gesture for him to lay down with you in the middle dark. Yellow from Amy’s hallway night light bleeds under the door, illuminating the hints of his features. You don’t need it to know what he looks like, where his cheek is in the dark as you lift your hand. “Love you,” you say. 
He pulls you in for a gentle kiss. “Love you,” he says into your lips, hand slipping to the nape of your neck. He squeezes it, groaning at the very back of his throat as he adds, “Missed you.” 
“I missed you too. Sleep well, sweetheart.” 
He wraps an arm around you and cradles you against him. “Yeah, okay. Goodnight, angel.” His nose presses to your temple. His lips brush your eyebrow. 
You linger in the quiet for a while. Spencer nearly falls asleep. 
“Spencer?” you ask.
“Mm?” He doesn’t sound tired at all, but he’d been content to lie with you in the quiet.
“Just, by the way. Just so you know,” —you rub your face into his chest, breathing in his smell— “I’m pregnant again.” 
Another lapse of silence. Then Spencer springs up and turns on his bedside lamp to your squinting ire, eyes alight with shock. “You’re what?” 
“Pregnant.” You turn your face into the pillow to hide from the unwelcome light. “With a baby,” you say, your voice mildly muffled, “maybe two or so months.” 
Spencer slips a hand under your cheek and turns you back around. He holds your face in both palms, a rueful sort of acceptance about him as he leans down for a good look at you, though underneath it you can see the same thrumming contentedness you’d felt seeing the double pink lines. “And you’re telling me now?” 
“Didn’t you always say you expected to be the last to know?” you tease. “I did a test a few minutes ago. Clear Blue. Very accurate, or so you’ve said.” 
Spencer laughs and presses his face sharply into your own. Your nose throbs after a while, but you say nothing. You smile when he sniffles, raking your hand through his mousy brown hair. 
“I didn’t have an inkling of a suspicion,” you confess in a whisper. 
“I love you.” 
“I love you too,” you say, laughing under your breath as his hand creeps down to your stomach. “It’s the same as it was yesterday, I promise.”
“Well, it’s not.” Spencer’s face falls into the nook of your shoulder, hand slipping from your stomach to behind you, where he holds you like you’re at risk of escaping him. You have no such inclination.
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torpublishinggroup · 1 year ago
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Devilman Crybaby meets Marvel’s Venom in Exordia, the science fiction debut of Seth Dickinson, author of The Traitor Baru Cormorant. 
Ssrin Character Illustration by Julie Dillon
WHAT’S IT ABOUT
Meet Anna Sinjari, a refugee and disaffected office worker eking an existence in New York City. Her life is about to be upended by Ssrin, an alien with eight serpent heads, no qualms with cold-blooded murder, and an appetite for turtles (yum).
The universe is governed by seven passions, seven patterns which appear again and again, across species and across time. Anna and Ssrin are bound by the last and the greatest. The cosmos itself ships their very souls. Specifically for them, that means they’ll have to outmaneuver spies, armies, and government agencies to save humanity from a diabolical alien entity, hellbent on pinioning the souls of every creature on earth.
Exordia is expansive adventure science fiction that reads like a race-against-the-clock thriller in the vein of Michael Crichton, but steeped in the irony, humor, and pain of the Internet age. An alien-human epic for those who've always rooted for the monster.
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ak-vintage · 5 months ago
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I'd Like To...
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Pairing: Modern DILF Din Djarin x Plus Size F!Reader
Summary: Din has always struggled to prioritize his own happiness, even more so now that he is a single father. When some well-meaning friends create a dating app profile for him without his knowledge, he finds himself on his first date in years with a woman who seems determined to bring some much-needed softness to his life.
Tags/Warnings: 18+ MDNI! Present-day AU, dating app AU, dual POV, no use of Y/N, private security Din, photographer reader, reader is a plus size woman but otherwise minimal descriptions provided, age gap (unspecified but enough to be noticed), Grogu is a human toddler, Cara is the ultimate wingman, good dad Din, touch-starved Din, fluff, SMUT – exhibitionism, semi-public acts, brief oral sex (m! receiving), protected p in v sex, dirty talk, rough but sweet, switch-y vibes for both Din and reader
Word Count: ~18.3K (I have no excuse...)
Written for @hellishjoel's Hot DILF Summer Challenge. I am unforgivably late to this event, and I’m so, so sorry. I hope the truly preposterous length makes up for it – it really got out of hand!
Dividers by @saradika-graphics <3
Read on AO3 | Masterlist
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Cara Dune had never been good at subterfuge.
She was loud, decisive, commanding – a “do no harm but take no shit” kind of person who wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty in a risky situation or to stick her neck out for what she believed. Cara didn’t have the constitution for stealth. She didn’t do subtle or – god forbid – sneaky; it simply wasn’t a part of her DNA. All of her colleagues were well aware of this, of course, so why, out of all of the consultants of Fett Security, Inc., she was the person that the group had selected for this particular mission was something she would never understand.
But, as a former soldier, if there was one thing Cara knew how to do, it was follow orders, so when the task fell to her, she took it on the chin and threw herself into it headfirst.
Which was how she found herself awkwardly hunched over at her desk, broad shoulders rounded protectively around her phone as she scrolled through various social media accounts, screenshotting as she went. A suspicious behavior for anyone, but even more so knowing that the images she was grabbing were all of the same man – her best friend and coworker, Din Djarin.
Nearly a decade ago, Din had been one of the first people Boba Fett had recruited to join his private security firm, and ever since, he had been the kind of man who ate, slept, and breathed the job. There was no doubt that Fett Security owed a great deal of its growth and success in the industry to Din’s expertise, but that hadn’t left him with a lot of opportunity for a full life outside of work. Or, perhaps more accurately, Din simply hadn’t made such a thing a priority.
When pressed about it, he would say that it hardly mattered; all of his friends eventually came to work for the firm anyway, Fett collecting them all like trading cards over the years, so he saw them plenty. What more could he need?
Of course, he came to eat his own words about a year ago when he rather unexpectedly became the foster parent – then adoptive parent – of a little boy, a tiny thing with no living relatives in a part of the city that had had a severe shortage of foster families for years. Din himself had grown up in the system, a fact he talked about rarely, but nevertheless, the experience had shaped him in a fundamental way. He had jumped at the opportunity to take in the kid, and overnight, he transformed from a man who buried himself in his work to a man who lived for the whim of a little boy with floppy, sandy-brown curls, wide, dark eyes, and comically large ears.
It was clear to anyone who knew him well – Din had been meant to be a father, and as his closest friend, Cara had found a great deal of joy in watching the new role shape and soften him into a version of himself that felt truer and more authentic to who he was at his core. But all of his friends agreed: when it came to his personal life, having a child had done nothing but exacerbate the problem. He was still working just as many hours as he had before, only now, when he did have time to himself, he rarely left the house without his son in tow. He had stopped joining the team for drinks after gigs, his appearances at company barbecues were fewer and farther between, and who knew how long it had been since the man had been on an actual date?
Din was lonely – Cara could tell. He loved his job, and he adored his son, but it wasn’t enough anymore. There was a hollowness to him, a shadow around his eyes. Something had to give, and so during their last group outing, the team had come together and formulated a plan. A plan which involved Cara harvesting a selection of photos of Din from various corners of the internet, writing up a quick bio, and creating an online dating profile for him.
Without his knowledge.
Cara hardly relished keeping this secret from her friend, but she knew that if she or anyone else had broached the subject with him beforehand, he would have dismissed it out of hand. He would have made up some excuse about doing just fine on his own, that he didn’t need anyone else when he had his son; she could almost hear his low, rasping scoff now. His refusal would be swift and final, and that would be the end of that.
But sometimes, being a good friend meant doing something in the best interest of the other person even when that person would disapprove.
And Cara had found that sometimes it was better to ask for forgiveness than for permission.
Sending a surreptitious glance around the open office space, Cara breathed a quiet sigh of relief at Din’s empty desk. The man didn’t have any of his own social media accounts, finding the whole concept frivolous and a little bizarre, so she was stuck scrolling through her own and those of their friends in an attempt to harvest a few that would be acceptable for a dating profile. It was taking longer than she had anticipated, and she still had to set up his age, gender, and location preferences and write up a brief bio for him before she was due at a job in an hour. The time crunch had her clenching her jaw as she worked.
Tonight at the bar, she planned to recruit some of their friends to help her get Din set up with a selection of matches. And all of them would owe her a beer for her trouble.
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 Din, the profile read. 45, 5’11”, Private Security Consultant.
Hardworking, outdoorsy, handy. Love vintage cars and motorcycles. Former boxer, teach self-defense classes at the community center on the weekends. Single father to a little boy who is my whole universe. Looking for someone to give me an excuse to get me out of the house, curb my workaholic tendencies, and show me the softer side of life.
“‘The softer side of life?’” Bo smirked around the rim of her beer as she read, Cara’s phone in her hand sticky from being passed around all night. “Cara Dune, you’ve been holding out on us. Who knew you were such a romantic?”
The crew gathered around the end of the bar all laughed as Cara rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her own drink. “What can I say? A bitch contains multitudes,” she replied with a shrug. “But the profile’s good, right? We can start swiping?”
The redhead nodded, neat bob brushing her sharp jaw as she passed the phone back to its owner. “Yeah, I think you’ve got him down.”
“Good call including the bit about the motorcycles,” Axe quipped with a grin. He waggled his dark eyebrows significantly, adding, “Ladies love that stuff. Speaking from experience.”
From her place tucked into his side, arm wrapped around his waist beneath his leather jacket, Koska offered him a tongue-touched smile and butted her head against his chest affectionately. “You’re not wrong.”
Paz returned from the other end of the bar then, shouldering his way through the crowd with six overflowing pints balanced in his massive hands. “What did I miss?” he asked as he passed each of them out to his waiting friends.
Fennec curled her lip in mild disgust as he sloshed a portion of her beer down the side of her glass, soaking her hand. She sat the pint down on the edge of the well-worn bar and drug her fingers demurely across her black jeans as she said, “Nothing, we’re just about to start picking matches.”
“Good.” He downed half of his own pint in a single glug, thick neck working in the low light. “Let’s do this. The guy needs to get laid.”
With a mock-salute of his glass, Axe groaned his agreement. “Maybe if he loosens up a little, he’ll get off my ass about taking over the Organa account. I swear to god, if I have to spend one more fucking charity dinner trailing after those stuffed-shirts, I think my head is going to explode.”
Fennec shot him an icy, closed-lipped smile. “We both know that was my suggestion, not Djarin’s. You’re a good fit for it, Woves. The sooner you learn how to play ball with the politicians, the sooner we can start putting you on more high-profile jobs.”
“Yeah, babe.” Koska’s dark eyes flashed teasingly. “Maybe then you can come join me and Bo on the Skywalker account. Finally start playing with the big boys.”
Bo snorted into her beer, sending a fine spray of the stuff flying as the rest of the group broke into peals of laughter.
“All right, all right, settle down,” Cara urged, passing Bo a napkin. “This has nothing to do with any of us, right? This is about Din. He’s busted his ass for every one of us for years – it’s his turn to catch a break. So let’s stay on task, okay? Now…” With a few taps and a swipe, she brought up the app once more and flipped to the matches tab. “What do we think of her?”
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“Dune.”
“Djarin.”
“Please tell me you’re joking.”
The dark-haired, hawk-eyed woman quirked an eyebrow at him, phone in hand, the thing still extended toward him, waiting for him to take it. “I could do that. But then I’d be lying, and we both know that doesn’t fly with you.”
Din Djarin gritted his jaw and turned his back to her, focusing instead on tossing his towel, lifting gloves, and empty water bottle into his gym bag and slinging it over his shoulder. It wasn’t unusual for Cara to join him for his daily pre-shift workout. She was a reliable spotter, and he liked the playlists she piped through the Bluetooth speakers in the company gym, but there had been something off about her that morning – something cagey and distracted where she was normally the picture of focus. After one too many attempts at getting her attention had resulted in a distant “huh?”, he had decided that enough was enough and demanded an explanation.
With only the faintest traces of guilt shadowing her gaze, she had made her confession. A dating app. She had signed him up for a fucking dating app, and apparently, the whole team was in on it. The bunch of traitors.
“You can go ahead and delete it,” he growled, casting a scathing glance over his shoulder as he made for the locker room. “I’m not interested.”
A strong, blunt-nailed hand wrapped around his elbow, pulling his retreat up short. “Oh, come on, lighten up a little,” Cara entreated. “When was the last time you went out with someone, huh?”
He shrugged her grip off of him. “I go out with you and the team all the time.”
Behind him, his closest friend groaned dramatically. “You know that’s not what I meant. But, while we’re at it, you haven’t exactly been doing much of that, either, big guy. In fact, maybe if you did come out with us once in a while, you could meet a nice girl at a bar or a sporting event or a festival like a fucking normal person, and I wouldn’t have to resort to mining photos of you off our friends’ socials and making you a dating profile in secret.”
“That isn’t fair,” Din snapped, whirling around to face her. “I can’t just be out until all hours of the night anymore. I have my kid to think about. I thought you understood that.”
“Of course, I understand that! No one expects you to be there every time. Not even most of the time! But Din…” Cara let out a sigh, and he watched as that contentious spark fizzled out of her dark eyes, fading into something softer and more earnest. “You are an amazing father. Anyone who has ever seen you with that little boy knows that. But that isn’t all you are. Just like work isn’t all you are. How long have we known each other?”
He ground his teeth and ran his hand through his sweat-damp hair, pushing it back from his face. “About eight years.”
“Eight years,” she echoed, nodding. “I know you, Din Djarin, and I can tell. You’re burning out.”
Something squeezed in his chest at the raw honestly of his friend’s words, and he found himself having to look away. She was right, of course, as she often was. He had always struggled with giving too much of himself – first as a boxer in the ring, then as one of the founding members of Fett Security, then as one of its most senior consultants, and now as a father. As a younger man, he had thrived on it; the busier he was, the harder he worked, the more he proved himself, the better he felt.
But now, knocking on the doors of middle age, he found that the breakneck pace of his life was starting to fray him at the edges. He felt worn through in places and dangerously thin in others, and although he would never admit to anyone, his bed had never felt colder. The small handful of meaningless, one-night flings he had permitted himself over the last few years had left him feeling ill-used and unsatisfied, and when he took his son out to a new restaurant or to the zoo or to the beach, he couldn’t help but feel the distinct absence of another person.
There ought to have been another person holding his kid’s other little hand in the park, patiently walking the unsteady toddler between them. There ought to have been another person feeding the boy ice cream afterward, singing him songs, telling him stories, settling him down for a nap.
There ought to have been another person in his bed – holding him close, playing with his hair, whispering his name in the dark as soft lips traced down his neck…
Fuck. Din Djarin was lonely.
“Listen, I’ll tell you what,” Cara said eventually, pulling him out of his musings. “We’ll get the app set up on your phone, you can log in to your profile, and you can just…take a look at the matches we already got for you. You don’t have to go through any on your own, just the ones we’ve already found. And if you hate them all, we’ll delete your profile and be done with it. But if any of them look even remotely interesting, I really think you should try to connect with them. There has to be more to your life than work and your kid. There has to be, or you’re going to run yourself into the ground. I’m not going to let that happen on my watch.”
Her words hung in the air for a moment, blunt and painfully sincere, and then Din was squeezing the pressure points on the sides of his nose and releasing a reluctant sigh.
“Fine,” he groaned. “I’ll take a look at them over lunch. Happy?”
She grinned victoriously and cuffed him on the shoulder, the gesture warm and fraternal. “Ecstatic. Now hit the showers, Djarin, you stink.”
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Cara was at his desk at noon on the dot, barely waiting for him to finish sending off an email to a potential client before she was closing his laptop, dragging him bodily out of his chair, and escorting him out of the building and across the street to their favorite sandwich shop. A few minutes later, equipped with a pair of overstuffed Reubens and a couple bags of chips, the two were settled into a back corner booth with Din’s phone between them.
“Okay, there you go,” she proclaimed, sliding the thing across the table to him with a triumphant grin. “App’s installed, and you’re all logged in.”
The man wiped a napkin across his face and fought the urge to sigh. “Let’s get this over with.” Thumbing through the interface, he fumbled for a bit before finally landing on the tab that contained his list of users with bright pink heart icons next to their profile pictures.
“Now these are people that already matched with me?” he asked, suddenly feeling a bit out of his depth.
“Yep! Me and the crew did some swiping for you the other night.”
Din simply blinked at her. “Swiping?”
Cara’s mouth twisted into a thin line, as though she were attempting to swallow a smirk and failing miserably, and he felt the distinct desire to melt into the plastic cushion of the booth and disappear. “It’s how you indicate whether you’re interested in matching with someone. Swipe right for yes, swipe left for no.”
“So these are the people you…swiped right on?”
“Not quite,” she clarified with a shake of her head. “These are the people we swiped right on who also swiped right on you.”
Din’s brows nearly met his hairline at that. “They wanted to match with me, too?”
“Yeah, dumbass, they did.”
“Hey. Watch it,” he growled, jabbing a finger in her direction as he felt his hackles raise. “You know I don’t know anything about this shit. Cut me a little bit of slack, okay?”
Cara sighed, and her expression shifted from needling to softly exasperated. “Yeah, no kidding, I’m aware. I didn’t call you a dumbass because you don’t know anything about online dating. I called you a dumbass because you act like you’re surprised that people want to match with you.”
Oh.
Cocking his head at her, he replied, “Why wouldn’t that surprise me?”
“Umm…” All of the softness in her face disappeared, and instead she glared at him like he had just grown a second head. “Have you seen yourself? I don’t even like men, and I recognize a DILF when I see one.”
“A DILF?”
Cara smirked lasciviously. “Yeah, a dad I’d like to – ”
“I know what a DILF is, Cara, fucking hell, can you keep your voice down?” Din instinctually ducked his head, his gaze darting around the sandwich shop as he prayed to whatever deity might be listening that no one had heard them.
The woman let out a bark of laughter, dark hair swinging and eyes crinkling with mirth. “Yeah, yeah, don’t get your panties in a twist, old man. No one’s paying any attention to us back here.” Gesturing at the phone in his hand, she added, “Now quit stalling and start scrolling. I think we ended up with ten or so matches before we called it a night? And we were really picky about it, too. There’s gotta be at least one lucky lady in there that tickles your fancy.”
“Hmm.” He hummed dubiously to himself as he opened the first profile in the list, a blonde woman a couple of years his junior with her head tilted back, face in the sun as she posed on some tropical beach. Pretty. Nice smile. Looked friendly. “Suppose I just didn’t think so many women would be interested in dating a single father.”
“Like I said,” Cara shrugged with a wink. “Ladies love a DILF.”
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Nearly an hour later, and Din couldn’t help but feel a bit…underwhelmed with the selection of matches his friends had chosen for him. Not that any of them were bad choices, per se. They were lovely women, all of them, with their sunny smiles and their glossy, perfectly-posed photographs and their quippy bios. They were from a variety of backgrounds with a variety of interests, though all struck him as approachable, intelligent, witty. He couldn’t find a red flag in the bunch, which he supposed was a credit both to them and to his friends for sifting through the masses so thoughtfully.
No, it wasn’t the women. It was him, he was sure. What else could explain the…nothingness he felt when he looked at them? The utter lack of interest? Perhaps he had missed his opportunity for such things, he thought to himself. Perhaps he had waited too long, been too content with his own company for too many years.
He could feel Cara’s eyes on him across the table as he came to the last few matches, could sense her impatience at his silence, at his steady, unenthusiastic scrolling. Their plates sat picked over and abandoned between them, chip bags empty and crumpled, sodas drained dry. They were due back in the office any minute, the lunch hour quickly expiring around them, and as reluctant as Din had been to agree to this entire endeavor, he somehow still felt a twinge of guilt at leaving Cara to report back to the rest of the group empty-handed.
But at least he had held up his end of the bargain. No one could say that he didn’t give the idea a chance. It simply wasn’t meant to be.
Of course, that was until he reached the second-to-last match on the list.
Absently, Din tapped on your picture, opening your profile, and almost immediately, he felt himself straighten in his seat.
You were…stunning.
Wide, bright eyes. A warm, mischievous smile that teased him through the camera’s lens, as though you had a secret you were taunting him with, daring him to ask, to figure it out. Your photos were unique – mostly candids, the focus soft, enhanced with a touch of grain and flawlessly lit. And you had a lot of them, more than any other profile he had viewed. As he swiped through them, he came upon one of you in an easy, flowing blouse, hair windswept around your face, a DSLR camera with a colorful, well-worn strap slung around your neck.
He quickly scanned your profile header, taking in your name, your age, your distance from his location. Photographer, the profession field indicated.
And…shit. You were young. More than a decade his junior, on the very edge of what he would consider an acceptable age difference in typical circumstances. The gap wasn’t enough for it to be an immediate disqualifier, but it certainly was enough that if the two of you were to walk down the street together hand-in-hand, others might take a second glance.
He should un-match with you. It would be the right thing, the responsible thing to do.
And yet…
Din swiped through a handful of your other photos. Fuck, but you were sweet. Full, soft curves with wide, plush hips, heavy breasts, thick thighs. Little glimpses of soft skin peeking through comfortable clothing, airy cottons and silky satins and well-loved denims that his palms itched to touch. He wanted to feel the texture of you under his hands, the lush and the give of you beneath his fingertips…
Your last photo was one taken of you at sunrise, your soft body clad in nothing but an oversized T-shirt and a pair of barely-there spandex shorts. Your limbs were stretched and bent into some strange configuration he recognized as a yoga pose, your leg pressed back near your face at an angle that had blood rushing to his cock, his head immediately filled with images of your body contorted in a similar position as he pressed you into his mattress.
New to the city, looking for someone to show me all the best places to get a couple drinks and people watch. Professional photographer living my dream of documenting the most important moments of people’s lives. In my spare time, I like to get out in nature and go hiking, practice yoga, and travel. Excellent home cook, terrible at karaoke. Love dogs, love kids. Let me take your picture so I know it’s real.
Damnit.
You were perfect.
“Okay over there, Djarin?”
Din’s gaze snapped up to meet Cara’s over the table, taking in the quirk of her brow, the suspicious twist of her mouth, and he felt a flush of heat rush up the back of his neck and settle high on his cheekbones. He had been staring. Really staring, and with his mouth open, he realized, mortified. He slammed his jaw shut, his teeth clicking unpleasantly in his skull, and he shifted in his seat.
“Uh,” he muttered dumbly. This throat was so dry, his voice crackled around the syllable as though he hadn’t spoken all day. He cleared it quickly and nodded once. “Yeah. Fine. Uh – ” Flipping the phone around to face his companion, he slid it back across the laminate tabletop. “Her,” he said, tapping the screen with the tip of his finger. “I’ll go out with her.”
Had he not already been blushing, the cat-like grin of victory that Cara sent him certainly would have done it.
“Gonna have to message her first, big guy. Think you can figure out how to do that, or you want me to show you?”
Din’s flush darkened as he yanked the phone back toward himself, feeling a muscle in his jaw tick. “I can manage,” he snarked, and she scoffed a laugh.
However, as it turned out, as he opened the messages tab from your profile, he discovered that you had already taken the initiative and messaged him.
hey din – such a cool name! looks like we have a few things in common. i’d love to get to know you if you’re interested! 😊
Short. Sweet. Polite. Direct.
He swallowed thickly, feeling something suspiciously like butterflies take up residence in his gut. Scrubbing his hand over the back of his neck, he looked back up at Cara sheepishly.
“Actually…yeah, maybe I could use some help.”
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You were sitting cross-legged in your oversized office chair, headphones on and iced coffee leaving a ring of condensation on the surface of your desk, when you saw the dating app notification pop up on your phone screen.
1 New Message, it read.
You glanced back and forth between your phone and your computer screen for a moment, debating. You had promised yourself you would be heads-down today, having started to accumulate more of an editing backlog than you typically preferred. The shoot you were working on this afternoon – an engagement session taken in the gardens outside the local art gallery – was due to the clients by the end of the week, and if you wanted to meet that deadline, you couldn’t afford to get distracted.
And yet you couldn’t help but wonder whether the message was a response – finally – from the man you had matched with a couple days ago. The one with the unusual name, the dark curls and even darker eyes, the strong nose and the sharp jaw and the soft, gentle smile. Broad shoulders, big, masculine hands, and a handful of pictures featuring a little boy, no more than two or three years old, his face either turned away from the camera or covered with a little green frog emoji for privacy.
Din the security consultant. Din the vintage car enthusiast. Din the self-defense instructor.
Din the DILF.
You had fired off a message to him as soon as you had gotten confirmation that he had liked you back, and he had been taking up space in your mind ever since. You had always preferred your men a little older, a little more experienced, and the fact that he was a dad, and a proud one at that, had gotten your motor running immediately. He looked like the kind of guy who knew the best bar in town to get an old fashioned and how to grill a good steak. He looked like the kind of guy who would open your car door for you, who would drive one-handed while the other rested calmly, possessively on your thigh. He looked like his palms were calloused and like his skin smelled good even fresh from the gym.
He looked like he had a big –
Fucking hell. It had been a long time since a man had given you this kind of brainrot without ever even meeting him. It was embarrassing and very much not consistent with your independent woman-about-town image you wore like a suit of armor. But you had never been the type of person to deny yourself. If you saw something you wanted, you went for it – full speed ahead. And Din…you definitely wanted Din.
If there was even a slight chance it was him…
Before you could overthink it any further, you saved your progress on your current edit, dropped your headphones around the back of your neck, and scooped up your phone. Tapping the notification, you brought up your messages tab and found one unread message staring back you.
It was from him.
Hi there. It’s nice to meet you. You seem like an interesting person. I would like to get to know you, too. Where is your favorite place you have traveled?
You drew your lower lip between your teeth, smothering a grin as though others might spot it and tease you despite being alone in your apartment. Something about the way he wrote – the dry punctuation, the complete, grammatically-correct sentences, the lack of emojis – all of it screamed someone who didn’t spend much time communicating electronically, let alone online dating. It was a refreshing change from the men you typically met on the apps, the whole thing endearing rather than off-putting and doing nothing to discourage your impression of his “dad” persona.
Poking out your tongue a little in concentration, you tapped out a quick response before you could lose your nerve.
ooo good question! hard to pick a favorite, but if i have to choose, i’d say thailand. i went there with some friends after we graduated college and we got to volunteer at an elephant sanctuary for a few days. coolest experience of my life hands down! what about you? are you a traveler?
His response came much faster than you expected, certainly faster than his response to your initial message.
I used to be. When I was first getting started, I used to travel a lot for work. I have been all over. I am more settled these days. It’s difficult to travel with a toddler on my own.
You nodded to yourself. That made sense. His boy looked young, and he was a self-described single father. You wondered what the story was there, but that was a level of personal that you didn’t need to dive into just yet. For now, your focus was on making sure this conversation didn’t fizzle out.
Frowning slightly, you realized he hadn’t really included anything in that message to prompt much of a response. However, before you could begin to fish around for something to send in reply, another message appeared.
Your profile says you’re a photographer. Your pictures are very unique. I don’t know much about photography, but I can tell that you have an eye for it. What made you interested in that field?
With a huff of a laugh and a mortifyingly strong flush, you closed out of Lightroom and abandoned your headphones on their stand. You weren’t getting any more work done for a while – you could already tell.
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The two of you messaged back and forth several more times that day, then again in fits and spurts over the next three days.
You shared how you got your start in photography and the way your best clients were the ones who embraced your photojournalistic style. You didn’t care for shots that were staged or overly posed, you told him. You liked capturing people’s authentic feelings in the moment, and he quipped that he had never been comfortable posing for photos anyway, so you should get along just fine.
You talked about how both of you desperately wanted a dog but neither of you were in a place where getting one would be a responsible choice. You compared your favorite local hiking trails and determined that although he had lived in the area for far longer than you, you had significantly more experience trekking through the nearby national park. You learned a lot about the ’81 Honda Goldwing that he had lovingly restored, how he used to ride it to and from work every day but that now it sat under a protective tarp in the back of his garage most of the time. It wasn’t exactly a toddler-friendly form of transportation, he explained.
In a moment of vulnerability, you confessed that you had moved to the city as a result of a breakup, in an attempt to get a change of scenery far from the place where you had made a home with another man. He confessed that he had never really made time for relationships in the past, but that his son had made him realize that there was plenty of room in his life for love. He finally felt ready to try, and you finally felt ready to try again.
You told him you thought he was stupidly handsome, that you had no idea how he was single if he didn’t want to be. He told you that he had thought the same about you.
Except I would call you beautiful. Not handsome. I guess unless that’s what you prefer?
no lmao, you wrote back. beautiful is fine. beautiful is perfect.
On day four of…whatever this newfound acquaintance was, you spent the full day shooting a wedding – from getting ready to first looks to family photos to the ceremony to the reception. You swore you could feel your phone burning a hole in your pocket the entire time, but you managed to stay professional and present throughout the length of your contracted hours. By the time you stumbled into your apartment, you were so exhausted, you couldn’t have been more eager to pour yourself some wine and melt into the couch with some trashy reality television. You were changed into your pajamas and a glass and a half deep by the time you allowed yourself to check your phone.
Buried beneath all of the other notifications you had gotten throughout the day, there was a single pop-up from your dating app.
1 New Message, it read. Received four hours ago.
Skipping past all of the other demands on your attention, you opened that notification first.
Hi sweetheart. I know you were photographing that wedding today, so don’t let me interrupt you. We can talk tomorrow, but if you could please message me when you’re done for the night? It would make me feel better to know that you made it home safe.  
Hi sweetheart, he had said.
Sweetheart.
A rush of heat passed over you at his words, and you swallowed thickly, wine burning its way down your throat at the thought of Din at home thinking about you, worrying about you. Had this been any other man, you might have found the message a bit overbearing, especially this early on, but rather than feeling controlled or stifled, instead you felt only warmth and safety. You felt…cared for. Protected. Important.
The sensation had you shifting in your seat, gulping down the remainder of your glass in a single go as you felt the apex of your thighs pulse with interest.
Din was so fucking hot, and he had no idea.
Setting your now-empty wine glass on the coffee table, you typed out a rapid reply and hit send.
heyy! made it home okay, thanks for checking in!
Fatigue pulling at your eyelids, arousal burning low in your belly, quickly-consumed wine flushing your limbs with a soft weightlessness, your thumbs seemed to move of their own accord as they tapped out a second message.
din idk how much longer i can keep this up without meeting you. i wanna see your handsome face in person. can i take u out sometime soon? please say yes.
You hit send before you could second-guess yourself, then immediately tossed your phone to the other end of the couch as though it had burned you. It disappeared into the stack of throw pillows there, and you breathed a sigh of relief. You couldn’t look at it, couldn’t stand to wait for his reply knowing that it was after midnight, knowing that he likely had been asleep for hours and wouldn’t see your messages until morning. Taking a deep, calming breath to steady your nerves, you forced yourself to refocus on the television. One episode, you promised yourself, and then you would get some sleep.
Less than 10 minutes later, you felt the faint vibration of your phone travel through the couch cushions to where you sat, and your show was abandoned without question.
You tossed several of your unnecessarily large throw pillow collection onto the floor in your hasty search, and though you knew you would be annoyed at having to tidy them in the morning, in that moment, you could hardly bring yourself to care.
1 New Message, your phone screen read as you recovered it from the pile. With something akin to nausea roiling in your stomach, you opened the notification and resisted the urge to physically cross your fingers.
Glad to hear you made it home safely.
That was all. “Glad to hear you made it home safely.”
Your stomach sank like lead in your abdomen, all of the soft, fuzzy warmth of the wine and your arousal evaporating from your body like sweat on a hot day. Only exhaustion was left in its place – exhaustion and the surprisingly poignant hurt of rejection sitting heavy on your limbs. You had come on too strong, it seemed, stated your desires and intentions too boldly and directly. You ought to have held back more, ought to have waited longer before asking or maybe couched the question in a joke or a suggestion of something more casual first. Or maybe you shouldn’t have asked at all and instead waited for him to ask you out. You supposed men probably preferred that – to be the one to initiate, the one to take charge. Fuck, you were always so impatient, so goddamn eager –
In your sweating palm, your phone buzzed once more, interrupting your string of self-curses.
Nerves roiling beneath your skin, you risked a glance down at it.
1 New Message
You had no control over your body as you opened it, watching the action from inside your own mind as though walking through a dream.
As for your other message, of course my answer is yes. I want to meet you, too, sweetheart. But be warned. Even though you did the asking, I WILL argue with you if you attempt to pay for the whole date yourself. It’s against my personal creed to let a lady pay my way without contributing.
All of the breath left your lungs as you took in his words, reading them over and over again until you could recite them from memory.
He wanted to meet you. He wanted to go out with you.
A high, breathy laugh bubbled over from your chest, spilling through your lips into your quiet apartment like the glistening champagne tower at the wedding this evening. You laughed as you typed, as you hit send. You laughed as you turned off your TV and as you completed your evening skincare routine. You laughed as you crawled into bed, as you burrowed under the covers, delirious and giddy.
i think i can allow it just this once. wouldn’t wanna violate your creed.
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It took a handful of messages to determine the best place to meet. Din had offered to pick you up, wanting to treat you right, to be a gentleman, but he did not hold it against you when you turned him down. He understood that meeting a stranger from the internet, particularly as a woman, came with a particular set of risks, and he had no desire to make you uncomfortable in the slightest. He was happy to simply meet you there instead if that would make you feel safer.
Eventually, you settled on a moderately popular restaurant not far from your neighborhood. Din had never been there before, but over the last several days, he had discovered that the two of you shared a love of spicy food, and you had promised that the “modern Mexican fusion” menu did not disappoint.
they also have the cutest patio so we can sit outside if the weather’s nice 😊 , you had said, and he had been sold.
Under the assumption that Din would have a difficult time finding a sitter on a weekday evening, you agreed to wait until Friday to meet. However, the moment he had attempted to discretely broach the subject with Cara while on a jobsite, he immediately had three additional volunteers in Bo, Koska, and Axe, all of whom assured him that they hadn’t been eavesdropping and insisted that he had just been “really fucking loud” with his question.
So perhaps finding a sitter would not have been as challenging as he presumed.
Regardless, the two of you continued to chat throughout the week leading up to your date, first using the dating app’s messaging platform and then, eventually, via text. Din had grown weary of the limitations of the messaging interface days before, but he had been concerned about coming across as too forward if he were to ask for your number. But he needn’t have worried. You offered it freely late one night when the two of you were deep into a discussion about your favorite music artists, and something about getting to put your name and phone number into his contacts made the whole situation feel startlingly real. It had felt…personal, almost intimate. And it was nice.
If he was being honest with himself, it made him nervous – how much he liked you, how quickly he had begun to think of you as part of his daily routine. A text good morning after his pre-shift workout, when he knew you were just rolling out of bed. Checking his phone over lunch to find a whole stack of little videos you had found on the internet during your morning scroll, watching every single one of them as his coworkers rolled their eyes and laughed at how quickly he had fallen into line for you. Countless late-night conversations after he had tucked his son into bed, his tired body sprawled out on the couch or propped up against his headboard and wishing you were there with him.
He wanted to experience the laugh that went with that stunning smile from your photos. He wanted to hear you talk for hours on end about whatever crossed your mind while he just…listened. And fuck, did he want to touch you. It had been almost two weeks since he had first matched with you, and that need he had felt deep in his gut that first day he had seen your pictures had only gotten more acute over time. He had to know – for certain – whether the skin at the small of your back was as soft and warm as it looked. He had to know whether your plush thighs and generous hips would give beneath his hands.
He wanted you in his arms, in his lap, in his bed. He wanted you in his life, and he had never even met you.
He needed to rein it in, he knew. He didn’t want to come on too strong, and he didn’t want to dive headfirst into something without the proper consideration. It had been over a decade since he had last been in a relationship, and he was a completely different person now than he had been then. Not to mention his son. His boy was his top priority – the most important thing in his world. He would need to be cautious about dating anyone seriously with him in the picture.
But something told him that he had nothing to worry about with you, that you wouldn’t resent his priorities or demand things of him that he couldn’t give. And if things went well, and he liked you as much in person as he did online… If after a while, you earned his trust, his commitment…
You and the kid would get on like a house on fire. He could sense it.
But.
Before you could meet his son, before Din could welcome you fully into is life, he had to meet you.
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Din beat you to the restaurant that Friday.
You wouldn’t describe yourself as the type of person who was chronically late (though some of your friends might have had a different opinion on the matter), but in your defense, you had had a new client intake call right at the end of the day that had gone on for longer than you anticipated. Thankfully, you had gotten yourself ready before the call so that by the time the talkative new parents were done describing in great detail their precise vision for their new baby photoshoot, all that was left for you to do was slip on your shoes, grab your purse, and run out the door.
The walk to the restaurant was brief but pleasant, the weather having worked out perfectly for an outdoor meal, and as you approached, you spotted him immediately. Tall and absurdly broad, posted up outside the restaurant’s main entrance with his hands on his hips and one leg popped in a stance that absolutely screamed “dad,” even from a distance. He wore a long-sleeved, charcoal gray henley with the sleeves shoved up to his elbows and a couple buttons undone at the collar, well-fitting, dark-washed jeans, and a pair of black boots with thick soles that you had a feeling he favored when riding his motorcycle. A classic pair of dark sunglasses perched on his prominent nose, and in spite of the warm weather, he had a black leather jacket grasped in one fist, hanging down by his side by its collar.
In the golden hour sun against the worn brick of the restaurant’s exterior, he looked like something out of a movie. Or maybe a men’s cologne ad – something clean but rugged, so masculine you could die. Taking a deep breath against a sudden wave of nerves, you made a mental note to bring your camera the next time the two of you went out. If he was going to look this fucking delicious every time you saw one another, it would be a crime not to document it.
You were in the middle of crossing the street when he spotted you, and you watched with heat rising in your cheeks as he visibly paused and swept you from head to toe with his gaze. His adam’s apple bobbed, and then he was straightening himself and eating up the sidewalk in a handful of long strides to meet you when you arrived.
“Din?” you found yourself asking as you came to stand before him, as if you didn’t know, as if you wouldn’t recognize that striking face, those powerful shoulders anywhere in the world.
He offered you a gentle half-smile, ducking his chin in a single nod, and you took notice of his free hand balling up into a fist at his side, like he was physically holding himself back from reaching for you. After a beat, he replied, “It’s…good to see you, sweetheart. Happy you got here safe.”
His voice. Low and rasping, worn and manly, strangely reminding you of metal scraping against leather. It was painfully attractive, and you felt your cheeks darken further even as a grin spread across your lips.
You had been right. The man was a certified DILF, and he couldn’t have been any more your type if you had designed him in a lab yourself.
“Same to you,” you said, your voice sounding a bit breathless even to your own ears. “Should we go get a table?”
Din made an affirmative noise and gestured for you to precede him down the sidewalk. “I put our names in when I got here. The table should be ready any minute.”
A small thrill went through you at the realization that he must have gotten here at least 45 minutes ago if your table was nearly ready. This place notoriously didn’t take reservations, and there was always a wait, especially for the patio. Which reminded you…
Before you could think better of it, you asked, “Oh, did you request the patio by chance? Sitting out under the lights is the – ”
“ – best part, I remember,” he interjected, his tiny smile quirking up in one corner. “Yes, I requested the patio. They should text me when the table’s ready.” No sooner had the words left his mouth and he startled unexpectedly, glancing over his shoulder as though to look at his own back pocket. He reached behind himself and pulled out his phone, the sleek, black thing dwarfed in his broad palm, and you caught a glimpse of his background picture as he unlocked it.
A little boy with floppy, too-long, sandy-brown hair, huge dark eyes, and big ears, grinning up at the camera with a toothy smile. He was adorable.
“Ah. Speaking of. It’s ready,” he said, showing you the automated text. “After you.”
He gestured again for you to walk ahead of him, and you drew your lower lip between your teeth as you acquiesced. Not a moment later and you felt the soft, warm press of his palm against the small of your back, the steady, unobtrusive pressure gently guiding you toward the entrance to the restaurant. The sensation had something low and hot simmering in your abdomen, the way the heat of it sank through the fabric of your dress into your skin, the way your body listened to his touch instinctually. It was protective in a way that felt comforting rather than overbearing, and it occurred to you that such a thing would be easy to grow accustomed to.
You had always needed to be the one to look out for yourself. How freeing would it be to be able to trust another person to carry that for you, even if it was only every once in a while?
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Your restaurant recommendation proved to be a good one; the food was rich and delicious, the atmosphere was lively, and Din indulged in a couple of their house cervezas throughout the evening, which he found pleasantly light and refreshing. As the sun set behind the city skyline, casting long shadows across the flagstone patio, colorful strings of lights crisscrossing the seating area flared to life. The effect was charming, particularly the way the lights cast a warm glow over your face, arcs of gold and red and green streaking across your hair and illuminating your eyes. You were so pretty – even more than he had expected, even more than in your photos. He wasn’t sure he had ever felt “enchanted” by a person before, but he would say that was close to describing how he felt sitting across the table from you.
To his great relief, Din found that the time passed just as quickly while talking to you in person as it did over the phone. You were sweet, funny, and quite talkative, so even when he found himself dipping into introverted lulls or long silences, you were there to pull him back out of himself. You seemed to have an endless fount of things to chat about, which was perfectly fine with him, as it meant he didn’t have to wrack his brain for things to say, and he got to listen to your voice.
You also seemed to find him funny, snorting cutely into your glass every time he said something even faintly amusing, and he would be lying if he said that didn’t have his ego swelling a bit. He liked the idea of being able to make you laugh. And when your eyes flashed at him over the rim of your margarita, when you drug the tip of your slick, pink tongue across the line of salt there, when you offered him a slow, knowing smile with just the barest flash of sharp little teeth…it wasn’t only his ego that threatened to swell.
That was one thing he had not accounted for, he found, one facet of your personality that he had only barely glimpsed over text that was now staring him in the face as the two of you wrapped up your meal. You were powerfully, blatantly flirtatious in a way that felt completely foreign to Din after more than a decade of singlehood. Your lowered lashes, your intentional eye contact, your sweet compliments. Your little touches across the table, burning the backs of his hands and the insides of his forearms with the warmth of your skin. And that wasn’t even mentioning the surreptitious peeks at your ample cleavage your dress kept allowing as you leaned and shifted in your chair. That one, perhaps, wasn’t intentional, but it was still making it difficult for him to avoid embarrassing himself in the middle of this restaurant.
When it became clear that the two of you could no longer draw out your meal, the debate over the check began. Thankfully, you did not propose to pay for both your meal and his, seemingly taking his warning to heart. However, you did suggest that you pay for your own meal and drinks, and something about that still rankled. Eventually, after much back and forth, you compromised and agreed that Din would pay for the meals while you would cover the drinks. The waitress had looked at you a bit oddly when you made the request, but she hadn’t protested, and a handful of minutes later, the two of you had paid and were making your way back out onto the sidewalk outside.
Din wasn’t ready for the night to end. Spending time with you was the most fun he had had with anyone that wasn’t a coworker in…well. Too long. You were sweet and funny and full of life, and every moment he spent in your presence, he could feel warmth and vitality being breathed back into his lungs. He wasn’t ready to let that go just yet.
Thankfully, neither, it seemed, were you. Slipping one of your manicured hands into his, you said, “You know, there’s a park a couple blocks from here with a really nice walking path. You want to go check it out?”
He glanced down at your joined hands, dragging the pad of his thumb across the ridge of your knuckles almost absently as he reveled in the feeling. You were so fucking soft, just like he knew you would be, and the sensation of your skin under his almost distracted him from his response. After a beat, he nodded, and you hit him with a thousand-watt smile that Din couldn’t help but return.
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You kept up a steady stream of conversation as you made your way to the park hand-in-hand. Din had proven just as easy to talk to in person as he had online, and although the evening had confirmed your suspicions that he was much more introverted than you, he was by no means reticent. He had matched you beat for beat all night, and even in the moments where he seemed to need a bit of prompting, you chalked it up to him simply being out of the game for a while and didn’t hold it against him.
More than anything, though, your impression of him as you made your way down the block was one of an old-fashioned gentleman. There was an earnestness, a seriousness about him that you had never really seen in a guy your age, and it made you feel like you were the only person in the world to him. It was a heady feeling, to be the center of such focused attention. You wondered if he knew that if he wasn’t careful, that attention was going to give you ideas. Ideas you weren’t certain someone with his sensibilities would be interested in on a first date.
Just when you thought you might need to pull him to the side of the walkway and give him a little taste of what you had in mind, his phone rang, and he dropped your hand to fish it from his back pocket.
You couldn’t stop yourself from taking a glance at the screen as he examined it. CARA DUNE, the caller ID read, and the photo that lit up the background was of a striking woman with raven black hair, sharp eyes, and smug smile.
Oh. You felt something in your chest deflate a little. Another woman.
Din pulled up short, looking at you with dark, apologetic eyes shadowed by the streetlamps. “I’m sorry, I have to take this,” he said, and you found yourself nodding your agreement even as your stomach sank further. And to think, you had been convinced that this man was nothing but a bundle of green flags held together by a gap-necked henley and a pair of slutty black combat boots…
Turning away from you slightly, putting one of his broad shoulders between you and the view of his phone, he swiped up to answer the call.
“Dune? Everything okay?” he asked, a flavor of urgency to his tone that had you frowning.
Wait – Dune? He was calling her by her last name?
You couldn’t hear what the voice on the other side of the line said in reply, but you watched as Din’s shoulders dropped from up around his ears, and he brought his free hand up to squeeze the bridge of his nose in exasperation.
“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine, put him on.” A pause then, and he sighed deeply. “No, I don’t mind, really, you just scared the shit out of me. A call from you at this time of night? I thought something was wrong.” Another pause, and you could hear what you would swear were several voices talking over each other ringing from the phone’s speakers even as they were pressed against his ear. “Okay, yeah, that’s fine. Put him on.”
Din pulled the phone away from his face then and tapped the “video call” button on the glowing gray call interface. Half a breath later, the screen flared to life, blinding you a bit in the darkness, and the image of a little boy with unruly hair and dark, sleepy eyes blinked at him from the phone.
“Daddy!” the boy cried, a toothy grin splitting his chubby little cheeks as he seized the phone from whoever was holding it on his end. He was too close to the camera, the angle giving Din a spectacular view directly up the toddler’s nose, and you smothered a giggle as you watched the boy make faces at himself in the viewfinder.
“Hey, kiddo,” Din said softly, and oh, but you could hear the smile in his voice, could feel the fondness radiating off of him in waves even though you couldn’t see his face. Every sinking feeling that had taken over your body disappeared at the sound as you realized what exactly you were witnessing. The other woman was his babysitter.
“Are you being good for Aunt Cara? Hm?” he asked, and you could just melt at the gentleness in his low, rasping voice.
“Good!” the little boy replied, nodding vigorously in a way that bounced his floppy curls across his forehead.
Another face appeared on the screen, the same woman from the caller ID photo, and you watched as she scooped the squirmy kid up into her arms with an exaggerated, theatrical groan. “Tell him,” she prompted playfully. “Say we played with your airplanes and your cars.”
The little boy grinned toothily. “Yeah, cars!”
“And we wrestled with Uncle Axe and Aunt Koska,” Cara prompted, to which the kid giggled.
“I winned!”
Cara nodded with a fond smile. “That’s right, you won.”
From somewhere off-camera, another voice – this one male – called out in protest. “Debatable! I still say the ref was biased!”
The boy laughed again, the sound high-pitched and full of joy, and even the woman holding him seemed to be fighting back a chuckle as she plowed on. “And then Aunt Bo made dinner, and this little dude ate alllll his vegetables!”
“You did?” Din replied, genuine surprise coloring his words. “That’s great! I’m so proud of you!”
“Daddy! When you come home?”
From your angle slightly behind him, you could see your date’s shoulders fall slightly at the question, so sweetly and innocently asked in that little baby voice. On the other end of the line, Cara offered him what you would call an apologetic smile and shook her head. “Someone doesn’t want to go to bed without Dad.”
“Kiddo, Dad’s not going to be home until after your bedtime,” Din sighed. His words were slow and patient on the surface, but you swore you could hear a note of guilt underlying them, and it made your heart ache in your chest. “Remember, we talked about that before I left tonight? Aunt Cara is going to do bedtime tonight, and then when I get home, I promise I will come give you kiss, okay?”
The boy was clearly disappointed by this response, his eyebrows pulling up in the center and his wide, dark eyes shining pitifully through the screen, and he let out a wordless little whine that you were sure would have had you caving in an instant had it been directed at you. However, Din held strong. Voice low and gentle, he offered, “How about this – let’s say goodnight to each other right now instead. Is that okay? Just for tonight?”
He seemed to weigh that response for a moment, uncertain, but after a beat of silence, the kid tucked himself snugly under Cara’s chin and sighed. “Okaaaay.”
“Okay. I love you so much, kiddo. Get good sleep, have good dreams, and I’ll be there in the morning when you wake up.” Din’s words, so soft and intimate, sounded almost rehearsed to your ears, and you realized that this man was completing a long-standing bedtime ritual with his son via video chat in the middle of a darkened sidewalk on a Friday night. The thought had your heart swelling behind your ribs, the core of you warming and softening with a rush of fondness that you were helpless against.
Fuck. Din wasn’t just a DILF. He was also just a really good dad.
On the other side of the connection, Din’s little boy yawned widely and snuggled his curly head deeper into his babysitter’s chest. “Love you, Daddy,” he murmured sweetly, and you knew that if it were possible to die of cuteness, you would have done so that those words.
“I love you, too,” Din replied softly. “Good night, buddy.”
“Night night.”
Cara shifted the phone away from the kid’s sleepy face then, refocusing herself in the frame. “Okay, that should do it. I’m gonna go tuck this guy in while he’s still feeling cooperative.”
He was quick to nod his agreement, clearly not wishing to make this task any more difficult on his friend than he needed to. “Yeah, go. I’ll text you when I’m on my way back.”
“Hey.” She sounded rather serious then, making intense eye contact with Din through the phone screen. “Take your time, ‘kay? I got this.”
“Have fun, Djarin!” another woman’s voice chimed from a distance, off-camera and seemingly getting further and further away as Cara carried Din’s son to bed.
There was a chorus of good-natured laughter, then the man’s voice from earlier returned. “Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do, eh?”
This, of course, was met with an uproar on the other side of the connection, none of which could be seen. All you could really make out was a stern woman’s voice, one you hadn’t heard before, groan, “Axe, I swear to god – ”
You laughed softly at that, hiding your smiling lips behind one of your hands and Din quickly started to fumble with his phone. “Oookay, that’s enough of that,” he muttered, and with a swipe of his thick thumb, he ended the call.
Slipping his phone into his back pocket once again, he finally turned back around to face you, guilt and embarrassment tightening the corners of his eyes. Even in the dark, you swore you could make out a flush high on his golden tanned cheekbones as he said, “I’m…sorry about that. My kid, he’s got some separation anxiety issues. He’s not used to me being out of the house at bedtime. Tried to talk to him about it before, but he’s not even three yet, and – ”
“Din,” you interjected, closing the narrow distance between the two of you and resting your palm on his arm. “You don’t have to explain. Or apologize. You’re a dad. Your kid comes first.” With a slow, sly smile, you slipped your hand into the crook of his arm, holding tight to it as you proceeded down the sidewalk once more. “Besides, that was an interesting look at your family dynamic. Or were those your friends? The one called Axe sounds like a character.”
He huffed a laugh at that. “Friends. Well, also my coworkers, but they were friends first. I’m an only child, so they’re the only aunts and uncles my kid has ever known.”
“How many of them are watching him tonight?”
“Four,” he replied with a grimace. “I had originally only asked Cara, but the others overhead and…wanted to support me, I guess. I think I mentioned, I don’t exactly do this often. I haven’t been on a date in…well. Let’s just say it’s been a long time.”
You smiled to yourself, feeling your cheeks heat at the idea that this man who didn’t date had decided that he wanted his first date in however long to be with you. You would be lying if you said that wasn’t going to go to your head a little. Leaning your forehead against his bicep so he couldn’t meet your eyes, you asked, “And how are you finding it?”
With a low, rasping chuckle, Din brought his free hand up to cover yours, wrapping his long fingers around the back of your hand where it cupped his elbow. “I’m thinking…if it means I get to spend time with you, I should do it more often.”
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Not even an hour later, Din found himself in the back of a cab, arm around your shoulders, fingers linked together, your beautiful face flushed and grinning wildly as you traced the very tip of your nose along his jugular. Your voice breathless and on the verge of laughter, you gave the driver what must have been the address of your apartment, but he couldn’t have repeated the words you said if you had paid him. He was far too distracted, too overwhelmed with where the night was heading to pay attention to such details. You were so soft against him, plastered up against his side. Your mussed hair on his cheek, your breasts against his chest, your round hip snug against his, and fuck, your lips – plump and swollen and glistening with his kisses, the ones he had stolen under the lamp light during your stroll through the park. He couldn’t believe he had done that. He couldn’t believe you had asked him to.
When the two of you had planned this evening, he had had a firm talk with himself – he would keep the physical contact to a minimum, he would not allow his eyes to wander inappropriately, he would be a perfect gentleman, he would treat you like a lady. First of all, because it was the bare minimum of what you deserved, and second of all, because tonight would be your first ever in-person meeting, and he wanted to be very clear that this meant more to him than just some casual hookup. Din had had plenty of those over the years to know that what he felt for you ran so much deeper than that, and he was loathe to give you the wrong idea about his intentions with you.
The moment he saw you walking across the street toward him – backlit by the golden hour sun, hair dancing in the breeze, all your perfect, curvaceous softness swaying with your perky stride – all of that chivalry had nearly been abandoned by the side of the road. And he had been fighting tooth and nail all evening to keep hold of the reins of his desire for you.
But the two of you had meandered through that park for a while. You had stopped along the shore of a little pond to admire the water, and you had looked up at him with these wide, soft eyes, your long lashes casting intricate shadows across your cheeks, and god, it had nearly killed him to keep his hands balled up in the pockets of his jacket.
And then you had taken the smallest step forward, eating up what little distance still remained between you.
And then you had whispered, in a voice so low he could barely hear you, “Will you kiss me, Din? Please?”
How could he have refused you?
Now your breath was on his neck, your lips softly brushing his skin, and he was slithering his arm down from around your shoulders and instead pressing his palm to your thigh. His fingers dug into the softness there of their own accord, tucking the tips inward and brushing his thumb across the cap of your knee firmly, possessively. He felt you exhale against his collarbone at the sensation, the softest, faintest sound of need reaching his ears, and then he was ducking his chin, finding your mouth again, pressing his lips to yours with an urgency that ought to have felt out of place with the poor cab driver sitting right there but somehow didn’t.
Your kiss tasted like lime from your margarita, like salt from the rim. Your fingers threading through his hair felt like heaven. Your body under his hands melted like putty, warm and pliant and so fucking soft that it had blood rushing to his cock, the swell of it pressing uncomfortably against the zipper of his jeans.
And it wasn’t enough. You needed more. He needed more.
Breaking the kiss with a soft gasp, Din pressed his forehead against yours, brushed the tip of his nose against yours. “Easy, sweetheart,” he murmured, his voice low and gravely in the hot, moist air between you. “We’ve got to slow down, or I’m going to embarrass myself.”
You shifted beneath his grip on your thigh, hips squirming in your seat, thighs pressing together, and when he met your heavy-lidded gaze, he was struck with how dark your eyes looked just now, how wide your pupils had blown. Shaking your head, you whispered, “Don’t care.”
He bit back a curse at the way his cock throbbed at your words, at the soft, panting tone of your voice. “Not going to fuck you in the back of a cab, baby.”
Giggling breathlessly, you tucked your face into the side of his neck to hide your blush. “You can’t talk to me like that and not expect me to be all over you, Din Djarin,” you huffed, the tip of your tongue darting out to taste the little patch of skin just beneath his earlobe. “S’not fair.”
“Not fair?” With gritted teeth, pure electricity running through his veins, he returned the favor and buried his nose in the soft, fragrant skin of neck. The scent of you there was intoxicating – warmth and musk with a touch of floral, a touch of sweetness. He wanted to sink his teeth into you, might have had you been alone. “Fine. You want not fair? I’ll give you not fair.”
Shooting a furtive glance at the driver, who mercifully seemed committed to keeping his eyes on the road, Din delicately slipped his leather jacket from where it had been tucked around your shoulders and instead draped it over your lap.
You pulled away from him slightly at that, meeting his gaze with bright, burning interest in your eyes as you realized what he was about to do.
“If we’re doing this,” he whispered, “you have to keep your eyes forward and your mouth shut. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?”
Din watched as you swallowed hard, your swollen lips parting with lust. You nodded wordlessly, and your thigh muscles tightened under his hand, now hidden by the drape of his jacket.
“Okay then. Not a sound.” He cocked his head toward the front of the cab. “Now face forward, behave yourself, and I’ll take care of you.”
He felt the sharp exhale of your breath against his face, and then you were obeying �� shifting your hips square to the front of the car, turning to face the windshield, and balling your fists up at your sides. Din shifted, too, turning to face forward and tapping into every ounce of discipline his profession had ever instilled in him to school his expression into something carefully blank and neutral. Beneath his jacket, however, was a different story.
He started with a soothing caress of his palm from the cap of your knee to the top of your thigh, using the heat and the weight of his hand to ease your tense muscles. After a couple of passes, he could feel that softness return, and unprompted, your knees eased apart – not quite spread, not yet, just parted slightly as you relaxed into his touch. The realization sent a surge of satisfaction through him, and he could not stop himself from slipping his fingers down, down, down to the very edge of your knee and slowly starting to gather the fabric of your dress in his grip.
Din heard your breath catch for a moment as you realized what he was doing, and then it sped up, and your knees dropped even further apart. Before he could wrap his head around what he was about to do in the back of a cab car, he had hiked the skirt of your dress up far enough to slip his hand underneath.
Now it was his turn to not be able to breathe. Fuck, your thighs were soft – smooth like silk, supple and pillowy and forgiving as his calloused fingers traced slowly across your skin, seeking your warmth. He could feel a muscle in his jaw jump as his fingers drew higher, as you subtly adjusted yourself in your seat so you could open your legs even wider, permit him even closer to where you both knew you needed him. Every instinct in him begged him to go faster, to give you more, to whip the stifling cover of his jacket off your lap so he could take in the sight of his fingers reaching the smooth, cotton gusset of your panties with his own eyes. Instead, he pulled his face into a scowl of concentration and kept his pace measured.
By the time the side of his pinky bumped into the apex of your thighs, Din felt ready to combust with urgency. He could feel the heat of you there through the fabric, could feel the slickness seeping through it to dampen his skin, could feel the tension in your hips as you tried desperately not to arch into his touch. You were being so good for him, staying silent, never looking his way, just sitting there, the picture of innocence as you let him touch you. It had something hot and nearly feral rising in his chest, the fact that he could give you such impossible instructions in such an impossible scenario and you would drive yourself mad in an attempt to obey them.
It made him wonder what else you would do, if he asked, and just the question had his cock pulsing in his jeans. Unable to hold himself back any longer, Din tucked his fingers under the seam of your panties and slipped them softly, gently through your folds.
A groan bubbled up in his chest, and he allowed his eyes to fall shut for a moment as he collected himself. You were absolutely dripping for him – hot and wet and slippery, trim little curls sticky with it, underwear soaked against the back of his hand. It coated his fingers, and it took every ounce of restraint in his arsenal to stop himself from pulling his hand from under the jacket and popping his fingers directly into his mouth. But no, he told himself. There would be time for that later. Now, you were practically vibrating in your seat trying to keep yourself together, and he needed to watch you fall apart before the cab arrived at your apartment.
Din allowed himself to gently pet you for another moment, reveling in the feel of your soft wetness, and then he was seeking your clit, finding it swollen and puffy and begging for attention near the top of your folds. With the first delicate caress, you lost the battle with your own vocal chords and let out a quiet, breathless whimper, and a rush of pride raced through him at the thought that he had finally overwhelmed you to the point where you couldn’t keep silent anymore. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from leaning over into your space and murmuring into your ear, “I said keep quiet, sweetheart. Or I stop right now. Understood?”
You let out a shaky exhale, and Din felt more than saw you nod your agreement.
“Good girl,” he growled, and he swore he felt your clit pulse under his fingertips at his words. Interesting. That was something he was going to need to explore more later.
For now, he offered you a few more gentle caresses, a few soft, tight circles around your clit as acknowledgment of your suffering, and then he dipped down to your entrance and slowly, sweetly slipped his middle finger into your throbbing pussy.
God, you felt incredible – hot and wet and so fucking tight that he could feel his cock leaking in his jeans at the idea that he might have the opportunity to be inside you with more than just his fingers. Your velvet walls fluttered around him in desperate little waves as he gently thrust inside you, in and out, in and out, pressing deeper on each pass, seeking that elusive spot inside that he knew would make you see stars. After a handful of strokes, he added a second finger, and your hips stuttered at the stretch, hitching against his touch in a way that felt both needy and overwhelmed. You were so tight, and his fingers were so thick; it was no wonder it was a shock.
Din turned and dropped a tender, comforting kiss to the crown of your head. Fuck, you were so good, just sitting there in the back of the cab, letting him touch you, letting him finger you, letting him make you feel good. The ease with which you gave it all up to him was driving him insane. How long had it been since he had been with someone like you, someone who seemed to know innately what he needed, who fit with him so perfectly it was as though some divine being had had a hand in your introduction? Had it ever been this good? Had he ever needed someone as badly as he needed you?
Grinding the heel of his hand into your clit, Din sped up his thrusts. In and out, in and out, pressing, stretching, seeking. Your knees fell farther apart seemingly of their own accord, as your eyes had taken on a faraway look to them, staring unseeingly out the front windshield as you took what he gave you. In your lap, his leather jacket began to slip, and one end of it fell suspiciously down between your spread legs. Although his hand and the apex of your thighs were still hidden, if the driver were to take a look in his rearview mirror, he would clearly be able to tell what was happening in his back seat.
The same idea seemed to occur to you then, because in that moment, you broke his second rule – you glanced over at him with a fucked-out look of urgency on your face, and Din could swear he felt you starting to tighten. Fuck, this was turning you on. The near-exposure, the precarious position the two of you were in, it was making you drip around his fingers, making you clench around his thrusts.
You were a wild thing; Din had known it from the moment he laid eyes on you. Now here was the proof. You were going to come on his fingers in the back of a cab car, and then you were going to invite him up to your apartment and let him fuck you senseless –
“Here we are,” the driver said, his voice slow and unaffected, almost bored as he pulled the cab off to the side of the street and turned on his blinkers.
No matter how nonchalant his words, the sound of them sent a bolt of terror through the both of you, and in a flurry of limbs and fabric, each of you scrambled to put yourselves back together as the car came to a stop. Din yanked his fingers from your body, the quick withdrawal pulling a little hiccupping whine from your throat, but he paid it no heed as he tugged your skirt back down where it belonged around your knees. You gathered up his jacket and draped it over your arm, running your fingers through your mussed hair. By the time the car rolled to a complete stop, each of you were looking mostly put together, save Din’s raging hard-on tenting his jeans and your flush-cheeked, glassy-eyed stare.
Although he had already paid for the fare, as the two of you slid out of the back of the car, Din pulled a wad of cash from his wallet and discretely slipped it into the driver’s hand.
“Thanks for the ride,” he murmured hoarsely, and before the man could reply, he threaded his fingers through yours and followed your lead to the door of your apartment building.
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You would be lying if you said you hadn’t been hoping that this would be where the night would end – Din’s broad, calloused hand in yours, your dress askew and your thighs damp, the two of you moving with urgency down the hall outside your apartment, breathless laughter on your tongue. You had never been strictly opposed to sex on the first date, if the chemistry was there and you felt comfortable and safe with the person, and he had checked all of your boxes and then some from the moment you spotted him outside the restaurant that night. You had decided then and there; if the date went well, and he seemed to be on the same page, you would be taking him home with you that night.
You had worried that your advances might be a bit much for Din, but clearly, those fears had been unfounded. He seemed a bit overwhelmed, a bit in disbelief, but that hadn’t stopped him from jumping at every chance you had given him – holding your hand as you walked, kissing you down by the pond…
Giving you one of the hottest experiences of your life by stealthily fucking you with his fingers in the back of the cab while you struggled to stay perfectly silent and still…
Your pussy clenched at the memory of his thick fingers inside you, the perfect stretch of them, the way they had both soothed your ache for him while also somehow making it worse, knowing how much better it would be if it were his cock filling you up like that. Fuck. You needed this man, and you needed him now.
Thankfully, Din seemed to have no interest in stopping. When you finally reached your door, he wasted no time in crowding up behind you as you fumbled for your keys, hands slipping around your waist as he dropped hot, open-mouthed kisses to the side of your neck. Your eyelids drooped at the sensation, your hands halting in mid-air, keys dangling from your grip, and you felt more than heard him chuckle against your skin.
“Don’t get distracted, sweetheart. Open the door,” he murmured, breath hot on the shell of your ear, making you shiver. What a little shit.
After another second of fiddling with your keys, you finally were able to work open your door, and the two of you nearly fell inside. He slammed it shut behind you as you tossed your keys onto the nearby countertop, and then he was on you – one hand gripping the swell of your hip, one hand slipping along the side of your face to cup your jaw, fingers tangling in your hair at the base of your skull as he cradled you. You could smell yourself on him, the scent of your arousal clinging to the hand that now held your face, and god, you could swear your insides turned molten at the idea. His mouth was covering yours before you could comment on it, and then every lucid thought evaporated from your mind.
For a man who claimed to have been out of the dating pool for a while, Din certainly knew how to kiss – he was passionate, meticulous, and completely relentless in the way he took you apart. His lips were soft, his tongue precise, and the single-minded focus with which he stroked your jaw, coaxed you open, and devoured you was enough to make you blush.
Almost absently, you realized his other hand had swept around the crest of your hip and taken a palmful of your ass, and you whimpered into the kiss, your hips hitching toward him of their own accord. His hands were fucking huge, warm through the fabric of your dress, callouses on his palms catching on the fabric. You needed them all over you – on your skin, in your hair, between your legs –
Pulling his lips away from yours with a gasp, he groaned, “If this is too much – if this isn’t what you want – ”
You shook your head, digging your fingers into his dark brown curls, pulling his neck down to your mouth so you could suck on the skin there. “I want it, Din. I want it,” you reassured him.
You felt a shudder pass through him, and then both of his hands were on your ass, dragging you closer, pressing the full length of your torso along his. “Know it’s early, know we just met, don’t have to do anything you don’t want – ”
“Din!” Yanking his hair sharply until he hissed, you watched as he finally seemed to focus on you, eyes darkening as he took in your flushed face, your swollen lips, your glossy, heavy-lidded eyes. “I want to fuck you,” you proclaimed bluntly. His mouth dropped open, just slightly, pouty lower lip trembling as he stared at you. “Do you want to fuck me?”
The man blinked a few times, seemingly taken aback, but he didn’t allow the question to hang in the air for too long. With a heavy, audible swallow, Din replied, “Yeah, baby, I want to fuck you.”
A bright, electric thrill of victory surged through you, and you couldn’t have smothered the grin that split your face if you tried.
“Okay, then fuck me. And don’t hold back.”
You winked at him playfully, and a dangerous smirk that had your pussy fluttering pulled at the corner of his lips. No sooner had you registered the expression and he was toeing off his boots, leaving them abandoned in front of your door, and driving you backward into the apartment. A breathless yelp followed by a laugh escaped you as you allowed him to push you into your living room, shedding your own shoes as you went, and then you were kissing again, and just like before, all of your surroundings melted away.
A rush of cool air met your thighs as balled fists pulled up the hem of your dress, gathering the fabric in worn palms as more and more of your body was revealed, and you let it go gladly. Lifting your arms above your head, you allowed him to pull the whole thing off over your head, and through the wild, fluffed-up strands of hair dangling in your eyes, you watched as he took you in – your blushing cheeks, your heavy, heaving breasts cupped in a black cotton bra, your soft, rounded belly, your thick thighs and wide hips, the narrow strip your black cotton thong completely soaked through and clinging to your pussy lips. You had no name for the expression on his face, but if you had to relate it to something, you would say it was close to awe.
Din was in awe of you, completely and utterly gone for you, and the surge of power that sent through your veins was like a drug.
“Take off your shirt,” you murmured, lip between your teeth, and as he rushed to obey, you dropped to your knees in front of him.
“Fuck, sweetheart, you don’t – ” he groaned, but your hands were already working his belt buckle open, already thumbing at the button of his jeans.
“But I want to.” Looking up at him through your lashes with wide, soft eyes, you held his gaze as you slipped his zipper down, as you felt the hardness poorly concealed behind it swell and surge against your palm. “So let me.”
He gave no further protests, simply watched as you tucked your thumbs into the waistband of both his jeans and his charcoal gray boxer briefs and shoved, pulling them both down around his knees in one, smooth tug. One more push and they were pooled around his ankles, and then Din was stumbling out of them, holding onto the back of a nearby armchair for support as he kicked them aside.
He was naked now, staring down at you with dark, heated eyes, broad, muscled chest rising and falling with every labored breath, and fuck, if he wasn’t the most beautiful man you had ever seen. Thick and strong with long, powerful limbs and a soft stomach, a fine dusting of dark brown hair from his bellybutton down, and miles and miles of golden tanned skin decorated with a heavily curated collection of black and gray tattoos that you hadn’t been able to see earlier. They looked like beautiful work, and you were eager to examine them later, but for now, something else was begging for your attention, and you couldn’t ignore it any longer even if you wanted to.
Inches from your face, long and thick and curved, flushed and leaking precum, his cock was just as beautiful as the rest of him, and you needed it in your mouth. Now.
Holding yourself steady with one hand on his narrow hip, one hand around the base of him, you leaned forward and dragged your tongue along the underside before taking the tip of him in your mouth and suckling gently. Slick musk coated your tongue, and you moaned at the taste, immediately surging forward and taking more. Above you, Din let out a colorful string of curses and dropped a hand to the back of your head, cupping the bowl of your skull in his palm as you worked yourself over him. He never put any pressure there, never thrust himself deeper than you were choosing to take him, but you could feel his restraint in the tension in his hips, in the grip of his fingers in your hair.
He was trying so hard to be a gentleman for you. You kind of wished he would give it up already.
Pulling back, letting his cock fall from your mouth, you took up your strokes with your hand and said, “S’okay, baby. You can take what you need from me. M’not gonna break.”
Din groaned, low and gravelly in his chest, and then he was using his grip on your head to coax you up and back onto your feet. “Need to fuck you, sweetheart – I can’t wait any more.”
Your cunt bottomed out at that, the swooping sensation deep inside you almost leaving you dizzy, and although you had been looking forward to sucking him off, you found yourself nodding your agreement anyway. “Where do you want me?” you asked, and the question had him tugging you forward into a hard kiss.
“On the couch,” he growled. “Just need to feel you around me.”
Pulling him deeper into the living room, you shed your bra as you went, tossing it who-knows-where in your eagerness. You could feel his eyes on you – on them – as your breasts swayed with your movement, and perhaps such direct attention ought to have made you self-conscious, but instead in made you bold. The moment the backs of your knees collided with the couch, you stripped your thong from your body while holding his gaze, and the pure, molten want in his stare had you feeling like the sexiest woman he had ever seen.
“Lie back,” he rasped, and you were quick to obey, laying down with your head at one end and your legs stretched out along the length of the couch. Snagging one of your many throw pillows, Din tapped the side of your hip twice, adding, “Lift your hips for me, pretty girl.”
You did, and he slid that pillow underneath your ass. Then he was clambering up onto the couch with you, all long limbs and big hands and sweat-damp curls, kneeling between your legs, urging one of them up to drape over the back of the couch, nudging the other down to drip limply onto the floor. You went where he guided you, happy to arrange yourself however he pleased as long as it meant you got to feel that gorgeous cock inside you.
But he started with his fingers first, coaxing and petting and caressing your dripping folds in much the same way that he had in the back of the cab, only this time, you were free to arch your hips into his touch and let out soft, breathy moans with every delicate stroke.
Din seemed to realize this at the same time you did, as he began to nod slowly, encouragingly as he slipped two fingers into your quivering, grasping pussy. “That’s it, let me hear you now. You don’t have to be quiet anymore, sweetheart. Let me hear you feel good.”
And fuck, but it did feel good – his fingers stretching you, filling you, pressing steadily against that soft, elusive spot inside you with every thrust, making you want to thrust against him, to drive him deeper, to take even more of him.
“God, baby, you’re so fucking wet. Is that good? Is that what you need?” he groaned, and you nodded furiously, too overcome to speak, just knowing you needed him to keep going…needed him to give you more.
Again, it was like Din realized what you wanted at the same time you did. Gently slipping his fingers from you, he used the thick coating of your wetness on them to stroke his cock as he shuffled forward on his knees. Pressing down on the blunt, swollen tip with his thumb, he dragged his length through your folds collecting your slick, starting at your entrance and sliding smoothly up to your clit. You let out a low, startled moan at the feeling, and you couldn’t help but grind against him, letting the tip of his cock press and circle against your puffy, throbbing clit. Shit, when was the last time you had hooked up with someone and been this outrageously turned on? You felt like you were on the ragged edge of your orgasm already, and he had barely touched you.
However, just as Din began to trail the head of his cock back down to your entrance, a shock of reality broke through your dazed, lust-fogged mind, and you found yourself pressing your hand against his stomach, stopping him from thrusting in.
“Condom,” you panted, sex-addled and breathless. “We need a condom.”
His dark brown eyes widened with a sudden wave of awareness, and you felt him pull back immediately. “Shit. You’re right, I’m sorry,” he stammered. “I wasn’t thinking.”
You let out a winded laugh and shook your head. “Me, neither. Did you bring one? I have some if you need.”
Din nodded, hopping up from the couch and crossing back over to where the two of you had abandoned his jeans. Digging his wallet out of the pocket, he slid a conspicuous foil packet from inside then dropped the wallet back onto the pile of denim. A moment later, he was settled back between your legs, perched up on his knees with his hands on your thighs and the condom tucked securely between two of his fingers.
“You ready, sweetheart?” he asked, and you nodded urgently.
“So ready. Beyond ready.”
Your eagerness seemed to be all he needed to get back into the moment. With a few quick strokes of his cock, he ripped the condom wrapper open with his teeth and slid it on. You watched with hooded eyes, lower lip trapped between your teeth, and you couldn’t stop yourself from reaching out to stroke him yourself as the latex stretched over his skin. Din groaned at your touch, and then he shooed your hands away and lined himself up with your entrance.
“Eyes on me, pretty girl. Want to see your face while you take me,” he groaned, and with one long, smooth thrust, he filled your cunt with his throbbing length.
“Ah! Fuck, Din!”
It took everything in you not to let your eyes fall shut as he thrust inside you. The stretch was incredible – just the slightest burn, but even with his size, it wasn’t too much after how he well had prepared you, how long he had teased you in the cab, how turned on you were. It was enough to feel truly full – stuffed to the brim, the weight of him absolutely gorgeous as he bore down on all your most sensitive spots. Above you, your date was gritting his teeth, a muscle in his jaw twitching as his nostrils flared, as he dug his fingers into your thighs with a grip so hard it would likely bruise. He seemed to be fighting very hard to keep himself together, and you immediately felt the sinister urge to clench around him just to watch him struggle. Instead, you chose to take mercy on him and simply roll your hips against his, driving him deeper.
“No – shit, baby, you can’t – ” he stammered, hands tightening on your legs even harder, hips surging forward in the smallest of thrusts completely out of his control. “I am…hanging on by a thread here, and if you – ”
“If I what?” you taunted, the power you had over him flowing through you like an aphrodisiac, making you bold, making you reckless. “If I do this?” You rolled your hips against his again, smooth and lazy, and you could actually feel his cock throb and twitch inside you.
Deep in his chest, Din released what could only be described as an animalistic growl, and in an instant, he had one hand tucked behind the back of your knee – the one up on the back of the couch – and the other gripping the couch cushion beside your head. Arching his broad, muscular body over yours, bringing his face down to your level, he pressed your knee back toward your head and thrust so deep into you, you couldn’t help but whine at the feeling.
“Naughty girl,” he rasped.
You nodded with a smile. “You like that about me.”
He huffed a laugh into the hot, humid space between you, shaking his head at you exasperatedly. “You’re right, I do. But right now – ” He pulled back his hips until just the very tip of his cock remained inside you, brows drawn low in concentration. “ – right now, I really just need to fuck you. Can I, sweetheart? Can I just fuck you?” He thrust back in, all the way to the hilt, and you could swear your cunt was literally dripping at the intoxicating feeling. Your body was writhing beneath him, completely out of your control, and you swore that if he didn’t just fucking rail you in the next three seconds, your head might explode.  
“I swear to god, Din, if you ask me one more time – ”
His mouth sealed over yours before you could finish your sentence, and then he was finally – finally – fucking you.
With swift, firm thrusts, he drilled you into the couch cushions, all hesitance and restraint fully evaporated. The angle was perfect, the extra height and the little tilt added by the throw pillow exactly what you needed to have his cock dragging against your G-spot on every thrust, and that combined with the way his pubic bone ground against your clit had you moaning and whimpering and digging your manicured nails into his shoulders in your ecstasy. Din was like a force of nature, the way he fucked – gripping your thigh, driving your leg back toward your head, holding your eye contact, watching with deep, unflappable intensity as you trembled and shook beneath him. Every once in a while, he would drop his gaze to trace over your soft, folded stomach or to watch the hypnotic bounce of your tits, but mostly, he kept his eyes on yours, and rather than making you self-conscious, it simply drove the heat between you higher, made it more powerful.
“Thought about this,” he confessed, a whine creeping into the edge of his low voice as his thrusts sped up. “All those fucking pictures of you – doing yoga – all bent and twisted and – flexible.”
A smirk made its way onto your face, and you ran your fingers through his hair, brushing his limp curls out of his eyes. “Yeah? You like a bendy girl, Din Djarin? How’s it live up to the fantasy?”
He groaned, leaning even further forward to press his sweaty forehead into yours, driving your leg even further back toward your face. Tucking your knee up onto his shoulder, the angle of his cock inside you deepened. “Even better,” he admitted. “You’re perfect – so perfect.”
“P-Perfect?” God, that soft, spongy tip was hammering your G-spot now; you could barely comprehend any of the words he said to you, let alone string together any of your own.
“Perfect body,” he elaborated, gritting his teeth, groaning loudly. “Sweet, soft, perfect p-pussy. Perfect – hnng fuck – perfect girl.”
“Din!” you gasped. That low pool of heat in your abdomen was starting to tighten, starting to pulse. You could feel it rising inside you, threatening to take you over. It felt…massive, life-altering in a way you hadn’t known orgasms could be, but fuck, if this one wasn’t promising to do it.
“Shit, baby, can feel you,” Din groaned. “You gonna come for me? Gonna come all over my cock? Hm?”
“Y-Yes, I’m gonna – you’re gonna make me – ” You hiccupped a sob, raking your fingernails down his arms in a move that had him hissing and his hips stuttering as he thrust. “Fuck, I’m so close!”
“What do you need? What’s gonna get you there?”
“My clit – can I – ?”
He cursed, dropping a wet, sucking, open-mouthed kiss to the inside of your thigh. “Yeah, baby, touch yourself. Make yourself come. Need to feel it.”
Wiggling one of your hands into the tight space between your bodies, the tip of your middle finger found your throbbing clit and immediately began to play. You wouldn’t need much more – just something a little more direct, a little more concentrated, a little more –
“Yes! Fuck, Din, right there!”
And then you were gone – that tight, wet heat inside you bursting, dripping down his cock and flinging you into the stars on the edge of the event horizon. The walls of your cunt pulsed around him as you rode out your high, and Din was quick to follow you into his own abyss, unable to hold back anymore the moment he had felt you start to fall apart. With one final, deep surge of his hips, you felt his cock pulse and twitch inside you, and for a brief, wild moment, you regretted the use of the condom. You would have liked to have felt the warmth of him spilling inside you.
In the aftermath, Din was tender, as you had had no doubt he would be. After the two of you had taken a moment to catch your breath, he reached a hand down to hold onto the base of the condom as he pulled out. A low, husky groan escaped him as he withdrew, and you felt a sympathetic throb deep inside you at the sound. Even now, everything he did was unthinkably hot.
A moment later, he had removed and tied off the condom and retreated to your kitchen to toss it, returning with a warm rag he had clearly dampened in your sink. He was gentle and methodical as he cleaned you, wiping between and around your swollen pussy lips with steady hands before he moved on to cleaning himself.
He would need to go now, you realized. He had likely already stayed out later than he had planned, already imposed upon the generosity of his friends long enough. His little boy was waiting for him, and as much as you wished he could stay, you knew it would be unreasonable to ask him to.
So without prompting, you pulled yourself up to sitting, and when he came back from tossing the rag back into the kitchen, you rose to your feet.
You had to admit, you felt a bit exposed, a bit awkward, but even now, as Din looked at you, you could see all of the same warmth and affection you had seen in his eyes before the sex, and that eased your nerves a bit. The first real nerves you had felt since the start of the night, you realized.
“Sweetheart,” he whispered. “I’m sorry, but I have to – ”
“I know,” you interrupted, giving him a smile you weren’t certain would reach your eyes. “I understand. It’s late. You have to be getting back.”
“I do,” he agreed. Crossing to stand just in front of you, he reached out a hand and traced the backs of his fingers down your arm, leaving goosebumps in his wake. “Thank you for tonight. I had a great time with you. And not just…this.” He gestured awkwardly at the surrounding room, at his own nakedness that matched yours, at the trail of clothes between the couch and the apartment door. You giggled in spite of yourself, and he joined in, the whole mood lightening considerably as the two of you found your way back to laughing with one another.
“I had a great time with you, too,” you said, draping your arms around his neck. “I’d like to do it again sometime, if you’re interested.”
Din smiled, soft and genuine, and pressed a kiss to your hairline. “I’m definitely interested. And, ah, maybe next time I’ll call in a few favors. See if I can arrange an overnight sitter.”
You snorted, tucking your face into his neck as joy began to bubble beneath the surface of your skin, making you feel light and filling you with an impish energy in spite of the hour. “Hey, if you can swing it, I’m definitely not going to say no. I’d like to actually, I don’t know, make it to the bed next time? Maybe?”
He playfully squeezed your sides in response, and you let out a squeal. “Can you blame me?” he quipped. “Driving me insane all night.”
Offering him a tongue-touched smile, you pulled away and started collecting his clothing from around the room. “Again. You like that about me, baby,” you teased. With a wink, you dropped the bundle of clothes into his waiting arms. “Now get your cute ass back in these jeans. And go kiss your son good-night.”
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A handful of minutes later, Din was fully dressed and hovering by the door to your apartment, the scent of you still lingering on his skin, his heart lighter and freer than he had felt in years. You had gone and gotten yourself a robe to cover up with while he dressed, and now you stood, hip leaning against your kitchen cabinets, arms crossed over your ample chest, watching him attempt to delay the inevitable of having to say good-bye.
He didn’t want to leave you – he hoped you knew.
He didn’t want to sleep away from his son, but he also didn’t want to leave you. An impossible conundrum, and one that didn’t bear examination seeing as this was only your first time meeting in person. It was far too early for the direction his mind was heading; he headed it off before it could travel any further down the road.
Instead, he gathered you into his arms one final time for the night, cradled your face in his hands, and planted a soft, gentle kiss on your swollen lips. “Good night, sweetheart. Can I text you in the morning?”
“You can text me anytime,” you replied with a smile. “You could even, um…call me. If you wanted. When you have some free time.”
Din drew back for a moment, eyebrows raised. “Yeah, if that’s okay with you. I’d like to call you.”
Your smile widened, and he could swear he felt a piece of his heart leave his body and lodge itself in you at the sight. “Great. Then I’ll look forward to hearing your voice again tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow,” he echoed, and with one final kiss, Din slipped out the door.
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